#❪ ❛ a new day has dawned ❫ ┋ VERSE 01 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kookoosbunnynose · 4 years

Text

Pairing -> Officer!Reader x BadBoy!Jungkook (ft. Reader x Yoongi)

Genre -> Angst | Smut | Fluff

Rating -> Mature (18+)

Word Count -> 14.5k

Playlist -> Looks Red, Tastes Blue

Summary -> You meet an old friend under uncomfortable circumstances, he brings with him memories you’ve tried to forget for years. Your past becomes your future before you can catch your breath.

Excerpt -> “But where the paradox lies is, if you stop thinking, the smile you hold when you’re with him is the simplest thing you’ve ever done.”

—————

“We have a 10-51 at The Red Eye on Main.” Your radio suddenly booms in your otherwise quiet vehicle, snapping you out of your trance-like state caused by watching a mostly empty intersection run through light cycles for the better part of an hour.

“10-4, I’m 76.” You answered, pausing briefly to assess your location in relation to the hole-in-the-wall bar. “10-77, three minutes.” You finish, setting down your mic and flipping your lights on.

When you first started this job, getting a call for a drunk and disorderly would send your heart into overdrive, cause your breathing to shallow and your hands to shake. Mind filling with possibilities of having to contain a violent man twice your size. But after learning the patterns of the locals in town, and learning your own capabilities, you barely batted an eye. You’d probably just have to give the crotchety town drunk a ride back home and scold him for making you do this for the upteenth time. No biggie.

You sped down the empty street with ease, you could drive this town with your eyes closed since you were fourteen. The street lights around you against the night sky making everything appear untouched and serene, only amplifying your obnoxious siren.

Three minutes, nearly on the dot, when you pull up to Red Eye, and much to your surprise you see a young man sitting on the curb with his forearms resting lazily on his knees waiting for your arrival. The less than impressed security guard stops glaring at him in favor of filling you in on what happened.

“Hi y/n.” the guard greets, making the man pick his head up to confirm his suspicions.

“Well, fancy seeing you on that side of the law.” He says making you take in a stiff breath at the familiar voice, one you haven’t heard in years.

“I could say the same to you, Mr. Jeon.” you say with a steady breath, being very well versed in not appearing as shaken as you are. And you are. But you fight the way your throat wants to close because you’re wearing your badge, and you’re not here to dive nose first into your past. You’re here to take statements and do an assload of paperwork.

“The kid has been pretty cooperative,” the guard continues when you turn your attention back towards him. “didn’t put up a fight when I escorted him out. He’s had one too many drinks and threw a punch at a guy, who has decided not to press charges. But I got his information before he left to tend to his busted lip, if you need to contact him.” he informs, handing you a napkin with the bar’s logo and shaky ink etched into it.

“Thank you, I’ll take him off your hands.” you say glancing at the man in question, he’s still watching you with the kind of smirk only alcohol can provide. “I’ll take him to the station to sober up and get his story.” he nods, stepping back but staying close just in case.

“Are you gonna get in the car quietly or do I have to use these?” you question, holding your cuffs up with a hooked finger.

“Don’t make me any promises you won’t keep, sweetheart.” he winks lamely. You roll your eyes, and open the back door of your car.

“Get in Jeon, I won’t ask twice.”

“Yes, ma’am.” he says, raising his hands in defense and standing to climb in your backseat.

You shut the door behind him and make your way around the vehicle, giving the guard a wave goodbye. If he had been anyone else making a remark like that would’ve landed them a pair of cuffs, but in all your years of knowing him, Jungkook has never given you a reason to feel unsafe with him.

He was pretty quiet on your drive back to the station allowing your mind to wander to the time you two last spoke.

That day the air was heavy and unforgiving on your lungs, that no matter how hard you tried never felt full. You were both dressed in black, heads hung low in mourning. Before you departed you gave each other a long hug, whispering ‘I’m sorry’s and sniffling together. Giving each other as much comfort as you could muster even though neither one of you believed it would be okay yourselves. The hug was meant to be one of condolence but shortly after you would come to learn that, unbeknownst to either of you, it was a goodbye as well.

You don’t know if it was because you were pulling up to the station or if it was because he could sense your thoughts but he decided to break the silence.

“The asshole had it coming.” He spoke bluntly, as you opened his door and walked him inside.

“What did he do that warranted a busted lip?” you asked, slightly exasperated but mostly curious.

“He was making a girl at the bar uncomfortable, she asked him to stop and he didn’t. I stepped in, he swung, I dodged, I clocked him in the mouth, and he fell down.” He recounted simply, almost bored. He hasn’t changed, still ready to throw a punch for anyone in need. Just like-

Your stern look softens. “Why didn’t you tell security he threw the first punch?”

“Would he have believed me? I’m sure I haven’t been gone long enough for half the town to forget my reputation.” He says sitting in the chair next to your desk and crossing his tattooed arms across his chest. Those are new. Well, most of them.

“I suppose not, but at least I could have it on record that you tried.”

“I told you, didn’t I?” he raises his brows.

“Yes, you did.” you relent, grabbing a breathalyzer from your drawer. “Blow.”

He takes the device from you and does as instructed, presumably choosing to keep some sexual comment to himself.

“A .05?” You blink. “I thought he said you drank too much.”

“Probably assumed since I decked a guy in a bar.” He shrugs.

“I suppose, but how annoying.” you say slightly bothered by the fact that he had to tell you everything, and security didn’t even bother to ask people who started it. He chuckles at you.

You start typing away on your report, his story, his blood alcohol level, etc.

“Do you wanna press charges? He did try to assault you.” you question, pausing your fingers.

“No, but I think that woman should.” you smile.

“Okay, I have all the info I need. You have two options.” you turn to him. “I can drive you home now, or I could get you some coffee and you wait here until you blow a .02 then I’ll take you back to your car.”

“I take option B.” he says, tapping the corner of your desk as if to lock in his answer. “I don’t want to have to go get it tomorrow.”

“I’ll go get your coffee.” you go to get the two of you some much needed liquid energy. Normally, you wouldn’t just leave someone who was brought in for assault without cuffing them to your desk or asking someone to watch them, but you know him, and normally people wouldn’t voluntarily choose to hang out in a police station for any longer than they needed to. Tonight is full of many things outside the norm.

As you sit back down back down with your drinks, Taehyung returns from patrol duty, and beelines for Seokjin’s desk.

“Tag you’re it.” he says, patting Jin’s back, making him flinch.

“Officer Kim, don’t sneak up on me.” He says puffing out his chest.

“My apologies, Officer Kim.” they laugh.

You miss the way Tae looks over at you, and his smile drops when he sees who is at your desk.

You and Jungkook sip your coffee with a comfortable silence, neither of you wanting or needing to address his long absence yet, not while you’re filling out a report with his name on it.

A couple hours pass like this, with you doing various paperwork, and him scrolling on his phone or staring into space. Yep, definitely hasn’t changed.

“Alright Jeon, once more.” you say handing him the breathalyzer again.

He does.

.01, good.

“Let’s get you to your car.” you stand, and walk out into the crisp dawn air.

The ride back doesn’t leave your mind swimming as much as the first time. There’s still a sizable elephant in the room, but the tension isn’t as unbearable as you’d imagined it would be.

You pull your car next to his, allowing him to return home. “Thank you.” He half smiles, unsure if he should say ‘see ya later’ or not, but you had a feeling you would soon. — You awoke later that same day, when the peachy light of the sunset was flowing through your windows. Your shift at the station usually ran from midnight to ten in the morning, meaning you usually slept through most of the day. Though you didn’t mind, you’ve always been a night owl, nothing a little vitamin D supplements can’t fix.

Groaning as you roll over in your mess of blankets to check your phone, you find exactly what you were expecting.

Jimin (7:48pm): In need of stress relief, Doll? ;)

You (8:13pm): God, yes. When you couldn’t meet up last week I thought I was gonna implode :(

Jimin (8:15pm): Aw, you missed me? Cute

You (8:16pm): Don’t flatter yourself Park. I missed your dick

Jimin (8:17pm): I’m hurt :(

You (8:19pm): I’ll be over in 40. Be ready, handsome ;)

Jimin (8:19pm): :)

You toss your phone on your bed and get up to take a shower, a little hop in your step at the prospect of receiving an orgasm by someone else’s hand. And Jimin always delivered.

You wash your hair quickly, more concerned about shaving your legs for the first time in two weeks. After you’ve dried off, you lotion and perfume like normal. You slip on a tank top and leggings, knowing that he is a big fan of your ass. You take your uniform with you as well so you can head straight to work after your weekly dick transaction.

When you’re making your short drive to Jimin’s you find your mind wandering to Jungkook. How your heart skipped a beat when you saw him sitting on that curb. How he’s lost all the baby fat he used to hold in his cheeks, but his eyes still crinkle when he smiles. How having him stand in front of you for the first time in five years confirmed your adolescence wasn’t in fact a pipe dream your mind had fabricated after you decided to change everything you could. How though he’s jaded and may not know it himself, he’s the same boy you’ve always known. And how he still reminded you of-

But now wasn’t time to dwell, you’ve done enough of that. Tonight is supposed to be about the exact opposite. Free of stress. Free of thoughts. Only a couple hours of animalistic need. Then you could go back to reality.

“Hello y/n.” Jimin greets with a smile after your knuckles rap against his door. “Do you wanna talk? Before we…”

“Not really.” you answer a little too fast, crossing the threshold of his apartment.

“Works for me.” he says, noticing that you’re seeking more of the benefits than the friends side of this deal.

Without another word his hands are on your hips and his lips are on your neck, walking you backwards until your back is flush with the door. Noticing that you’re not in the mood for as much foreplay as normal, he immediately grazes his teeth against that spot on your neck that makes you sigh into his ear.

He’s always been very good at reading you, perhaps that’s why you agreed to this little arrangement. You’re not sure exactly how the two of you ended up fucking in the first place. Definitely had something to do with your collective blood alcohol level at the time. But when all was said and done that first time he told you he’d be more than willing to make it a regular thing. To make your shoulders relax every so often and it’s not as if he didn’t get anything out of it. Neither of you were in the headspace for a relationship, so the easy access to orgasms, with no strings attached was ideal for all parties involved.

Not that you weren’t friends outside his bedroom as well. You guys would hangout pretty often just as friends. You were fortunate that the line between your regular dose of stress relief and the platonic love you had for one another never blurred. Jimin was special in that regard.

Your hands find the hem of his shirt and he takes the hint quickly pulling it over his head. You do the same, and his hands eagerly cup your breasts. He reattaches his lips to the sweet spot on your neck biting down harder this time causing a small whine to fall from your lips. He smirks against your skin and runs his tongue along your reddened skin to sooth it.

Not wanting to waste anymore time than necessary you grab his hand and walk him to his bedroom. Once inside you put your hands on his chest and give him a firm push until his knees meet the edge of his mattress and he falls against it with a small bounce. When he falls back you remove your leggings and underwear, he does the same matching your urgency.

You climb over him planting your knees on either side of his hips, grinding your increasingly wet slit up his stiff length.

“You got hard pretty fast.” you say breath tickling his cheek and he slides his palms up your thighs to your ass, gently kneading the flesh in his hands.

“You said be ready.” he says smoothly, pushing his hips up to add to the friction on your clit. The extra contact catching you off guard making you place your hands on his shoulders for extra balance.

You feel his breath hitch beneath you when you wrap your hand around the base of his cock to guide him to your entrance. You sit down a little slower than you want to due you being a little less wet than usual.

It was your doing, he would’ve been glad to work you up properly, but you were seeking a quick release. Caught somewhere between wanting to take your time so your escape will last longer and needing to reach the cloudy peak as quickly as possible, putting as much distance as you can between you and the thoughts that lay in the valley of your metaphorical mountain. Though it seems your body was choosing the latter for you.

You rock your hips against his, enjoying the way his cock drags against your g-spot, sending heat from your core to your toes. You pick up your pace a little allowing yourself to let go as much as you can, jaw going slack and eyes closing tightly. Jimin groans at the sight, reaching up to toy with your pert nipples.

A light layer of sweat forms over both of your bodies, heating the room like a makeshift furnace. A furnace made of hot skin and moans instead of fire.

You increase the speed of your hips on his until your thighs start to burn, the dull ache in your limbs only adding to the fiery one in your pelvis. Your pants grow louder as your end is nearly in sight.

“Jimin,” you gasp with a mouth like cotton. “I need more.”

Your request straight to the point, he moves his hands to your hips, rubbing your clit one thumb and using his other hand to keep you in place while he thrusts up to meet yours roughly.

“Umph- fuck!” your voice cracks as you fall onto his chest, curling your fingers into his hair and pulling to keep you grounded as your orgasm rips through you.

Jimin groans deeply in your ear, you can tell how your fists in his hair and your walls clenching around him brought him to his end by how desperate his thrusts became. You can feel his cock pulsing as he coats your core with his cum.

You both lay like that for a few moments, his softening dick still tucked safely within you and labored breaths creating a fog around your heads.

“Can I use your shower? I don’t wanna go to work smelling of sex.” you ask and he chuckles against your shoulder.

“By all means.”

“Thank you.” you say, for both the shower and the sex.

He grabs your hand when you go to stand from the damp fabric of his bed. “Are you alright?” he decides to pry for the first time tonight. “You haven’t been that down to business since that fight with your mom a few months ago.” he says, concern laced in his features.

“Yeah.” you begin unsure. “Just, something happened last night that brought up some memories.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” he treads lightly, knowing what that statement could mean.

“I’ll be okay. You let me turn off my brain for a minute.” you smile and kiss his cheek.

“Happy to help. I’m here if you need anything.” he says with a stupid wink. Though you know he doesn’t just mean sex. Jimin has been a shoulder for you to cry on as long as you’ve known each other. You’ve always been there for him as well. A mutual understanding that you can come to each other for anything.

“I know, thank you Minie.” — You take a deep breath and run your hands through your hair, cursing the clock above the captain’s doorway that ticks just too loud for you to think. You blink a few times, your eyes struggling to focus on the text on your computer screen. You’re relieved when the phone on your desk starts to ring.

“Hello this is Officer l/n.” you say putting the phone to your ear, unfortunately excited about someone being in distress, but you’re about five minutes of screen time away from getting a migraine.

“Hello Miss l/n, this is Mrs. Choi,” here we go again. “I was wondering if you could send an officer to the house across the street? I think I saw some hoodlums trespassing.” and there it is.

“Of course Mrs. Choi,” you hold back a lengthy exhale. “I’ll go check it out, myself. Did you happen to see anything that could provide a description?”

“I’m afraid not dear, I only saw some trees rustling.” ah yes, the wind. Nature’s trespasser.

“Okay, I’ll take a look. Anything to help you sleep better at night, ma’am.” you smile as sweetly as you can despite her not being able to see you.

“Thank you Miss l/n.” she says promptly ending the call.

You let your breath out fully for the first time since the interaction began. And try your best to ignore how tense it makes you when she always calls you ‘Miss’ but calls all your male coworkers ‘Officer.’ You once put Jin in a choke-hold over a granola bar, you’re more than capable of holding your own, but that’s neither here nor there. Really.

“Mrs. Choi again?” Tae asks peering around the filing cabinet between your desks.

“The one and only.” you state. “She ordered the usual; someone to check the old abandoned house across from hers.”

“Well maybe if someone didn’t break into that place all the time in high school.” he says looking anywhere but at you.

“And now I’m the one who has to get rid of them. The world goes round, balance is restored. Hooray.“ you say feigning awe, he chuckles.

“Hey, I know how you are about that old place, do you want me to check it out for you?” Tae asks his expression morphing into worry.

“I got it, I’m okay. I need to stretch my legs anyway. But thank you Tae, really.” for the first few months you were a cop, you couldn’t even take the patrol route the old house was on without crying. He was always really nice about taking care of it for you. Officer Kim, always ready to jump in at a sign of distress, perhaps why he’s so good at his job.

“Okay, just let me know if you change your mind.” you hum an affirmative as you exit the building.

Though the bubble of anxiety in your stomach grows as you approach the run down house, it doesn’t spill out as tears anymore. You’ve come to accept this is as healed as your wounds will get.

You unlock the chain on the gate and make your way to the front door, knocking harshly before opening it.

“Police! Come out now and I won’t tell your moms what you’ve been doing!” you shout into the empty house. You’re sure the house is empty because every time there has been a few teens in here you can hear them run before you can even shout ‘police!’ but, you still need to do a walk through just in case.

Your cautious steps make the floorboards creak below you, the smell alone flooding your mind with memories.

There’s a sliding glass door in the back, that’s long since been shattered, where you used to sit and get a perfect view of the stars for hours with your first, and thus far only, love.

Your mind wanders to when you used to play music off your phones and slow dance in the living room, skillfully avoiding the gaps in the old wood floor. It’s truly a wonder this place hasn’t been torn down yet, but you’re thankful, you don’t know if you could bear to see it go.

As you make your way down the dark hallway you get a small craving for a cigarette, having quit years ago now, but you can almost feel the dry paper on your lips as you make your way to the last bedroom in the house. You pause at the door.

Your eyes scan until they reach the corner of the room, pausing at the small carving in the wall. Your breath catches for the briefest of seconds when step close to it, tracing the heart with your fingers, careful to not get any splinters. Your fingers continue their journey, tracing the initials at its center with care.

Y/I + YG

“Babe! Angel! C’mere!” Yoongi’s smile beamed, gums and all.

“What?! What did you need to interrupt my sandwich eating to show me?” you follow his voice slightly annoyed, though you wondered why he disappeared for a few minutes, leaving you to munch in solitude. You had met here for a picnic, not uncommon for the two of you during the summer. He brought a blanket and you brought the burgers. You set up the picnic in the living room, with summer sun’s rays spilling through the old cracked windows, it’s a lot more beautiful than sitting in the middle of an abandoned house sounds.

“Look!” he says gesturing to the freshly carved wood on the wall, tucking his trusty knife back in his pocket.

“God, you’re so lame.” you smile and walk over to him. He wraps his arm around you, pulling you in close to admire his handy work.

“If I’m lame it’s your fault.” me chuckles running his hand through your hair. “I suppose, loving you makes me this way.” he hums jokingly.

“I never said it was a bad thing.” you look up at him, admiring the way the sun makes his bleached hair glow.

“You know I do right?” his tone drops a bit and his eyes search yours. “I love you.”

“Of course I know.” he only tells you everyday, yet you never tire of hearing it. You study his face, the slope of his nose and the little mole right next to it. His pink petal lips, that despite his reputation, you don’t know how anyone could be weary of a man with such beautifully delicate features. And his dark eyes that lighten only when he looks at you.

His gums return. He tilts your chin up to gently connect your lips. He tastes of the chocolate milkshake he drank not long ago, and you hum against his mouth.

“I love you too.”

The memory shifts, to one five months later.

“I love you too, angel.” his chilled lips peck yours, as he starts to climb out your bedroom window. The winter air makes you shiver when a gust of wind blows against your skin, with only your pajamas to keep you warm. Sometimes you’d sneak him overnight but with the first day back to school being tomorrow, it was too risky. If your mom caught him here again she’d have some choice words for the two of you, but she is a heavy sleeper, so as long as he left at a decent hour, nothing to worry about.

He hops down, his boots packing the snow beneath them when he lands. His head now a bit below yours as you lean out your first story window.

“Text me when you get home!” you remind him as he starts the small trek back to his car.

“Always!” he whisper-shouts back before disappearing around the side of your house.

You gaze up at the moon and take in a deep breath, trying to decide if the frozen air is refreshing or sharp on your lungs. You don’t take the time to figure it out before your window is shut and the air in your room feels hot against your cheeks.

You curl up in bed, and decide to scroll your various socials until your eyes get heavy.

You blink to help your eyes focus on the text on your screen, and decide to call it a night. You flick your eyes over to check the time.

2:30 am? Yoongi left at 2:00 and still no text? He’s always really good about telling you he got home, though he has forgotten a few times, no one is perfect.

“I’ll wait til he texts, he probably stopped for gas.” you mumble to no one.

2:45 am. You decide to text him.

You (2:46am): Love, did you make it home alright?

You (3:15am): I’m sure you just fell asleep.

You hit send trying to convince the panic knotting your stomach.

“He’s forgotten before, why am I freaking out so much?” you mumble to yourself rubbing your eyes. “I’ll just call him.”

My Love missed your call (3:23am)

My Love missed your call (3:35am)

My Love missed your call (3:42am)

“It’s Yoongi, leave your message after the beep.”

“Hi, I know that you’re probably just sleeping, and you’re gonna tell me that you’re fine in the morning.” you push out a laugh trying not to cry. “But I just can’t shake this feeling, so please please call me as soon as you wake up. I love you.”

My Love missed your call (4:01am)

You sit there staring at your phone in your hands, for a few minutes watching the clock on your screen change. Still nothing.

“Alright, fuck it.” you huff and grab your boots, shoving your feet in them and throwing on your jacket. You grab your keys and get in your car, you dial his number again while you start the engine, the route to his house flashing through your mind.

The dial tone in your ear stops ringing. “Thank fuck Yoongi!” the tears you’ve been holding back start to spill in relief. “You scared the-”

“This is Officer Jung.” a deep voice rings in your ear and your blood runs cold.

“What’s going on? What happened?” you ask frantic, the panic in your lungs turning into fire, the air feeling too thick to swallow.

“Ma’am, Min Yoongi was involved in an incident.” he says attempting to make his voice resemble something close to comfort. “The snow caught his tire and hi-”

“Is he okay?” you try to yell but your throat is closing.

“His car was pulled into a ditch, he-.”

“Is he fucking okay?!” your voice cracks and so does the dam holding back your tears.

“He didn’t make it.”

Your heart skips in a way you didn’t know it could, your body instantly too weak to hold itself or anything else. Your phone falls to the floor and your body falls against your steering wheel. You think you’re screaming but who can be sure with the ringing in your ears echoing in your skull. Your vision is blurred and your cheeks are wet. You were shivering when you climbed in your car but your skin has gone numb.

You don’t know how long you were crying in your car but by the time you were able to collect yourself enough to walk back to your bed your phone had no charge, and the sun had begun to rise.

When you finally turned your phone back on, you were flooded with people asking if you were okay, most of them you didn’t even know. After scrolling through your list of unopened texts, you answered only the one from his little brother.

Gukkie (7:38am): You okay?

You (8:44am): No

Gukkie (8:45am): Yeah, me either.

Now the ache is dull and the memories are faded. The anger and hurt that used to filter them turns more rosy as time goes on. And as with most wounds, there are scars. Love runs deep and Min Yoongi was your deepest river and your deepest cut.

You finish tracing the divots in the wood and smile bittersweetly. You place a kiss on the tips of your first and second fingers, you touch them to his initials and take a deep breath.

You let that breath go slowly as you walk out of the house, careful not to step on any of the less stable floor panels. Your lungs finally empty when you reach the gate where you can not-so-metaphorically lock up your past. — “Did you really need to cuff me?” you hear a familiar voice huff from behind you.

“Yes I did.” Tae grunts, you turn to see him holding Jungkook by the elbow before he plops him down in the seat next to his desk.

“Alright, you’re the boss.” he says somewhere between sarcasm and defeat. He attempts to shift into a comfortable position, his cuffs against the metal chair hitting your ears in a less than pleasant way.

Jungkook glances your way and gives you a small nod when you catch eyes, and you do your best to pretend you meant to be staring at him. Though you’re sure he’s probably just as tense as you are. Police stations aren’t exactly the best place for a reunion. Especially twice.

“Name.” Taehyung states in a business-like tone.

“Jeon Jungkook.”

“Date of birth.” September first, 1997.

“September first, 1997.”

“Address.” 5235 west- shit I’m eavesdropping.

You shift in your seat and refocus on what you were doing before they came in. You try to at least.

Seokjin returns from his patrol route, entering the room the same as he always does, as loud as possible. “Tag you’re it!” he says with a childlike smile as he pats Tae on the shoulder.

“I’m kinda busy.” he gestures to Jungkook and his computer screen.

“I can take care of the report for you.” you butt in before you can think about the fact that you’re speaking. Tae slides his chair to your desk to get out of the other’s ear shot. “Do you really wanna deal with him? I know you’re not a big fan.” you lower your voice.

“Yeah, you have a point.” He thinks for a second, looking over at the man in question and grimacing slightly. “You sure?”

“Of course, I took care of him last week.” you say matter of factly. “And years before that.” you add after a beat. He nods in agreement, and grabs his jacket. “Change in plans Guk,” he smiles at the nickname he hasn’t heard from you in a long time. “You’re with me, Officer Kim has other business he needs to attend to.”

“Oh does he?” Jungkook mutters under his breath and you hold back a chuckle. He gets up from Tae’s desk and shuffles over to yours, his shoulders releasing slightly.

Without saying anything you unlock his wrists and set the cuffs on your desk, he rubs his skin a little too dramatically and you smile when he sits back in the chair looking more relaxed.

“Thank you.” Jungkook smiles. You miss the way Tae scowls at your gesture as he walks out of the building.

You start filing out the basics without question, as you know all the answers. He sits there tracing the walls with his eyes, far less entertaining than last week having already memorized the lack luster wallpaper.

“Alright Guk, what happened this time?” you say after a couple minutes.

“I didn’t fucking do anything.” he says widening his eyes clearly frustrated but not at you.

“It appears you did.” you say accusing him playfully.

“Seriously.” he relaxes a little. “I went to Red Eye again, I was minding my own business.” he points his finger at you in preemptive defense. “The same guy from last week-”

“The one whose face you busted?” you quip.

He stops, mouth slightly agape. “Yes, that one.”

“Continue.” you smirk and he glares at you slightly.

“I was sitting at the bar, he came up and started saying he could kick my ass for what I did. I told him to forget about it cause I wasn’t gonna fight him. He said I may look tough now but I’m still the same sixteen year old I was before everything. I got in his face, no fists mind you, and told him to fuck off. The security saw us yelling and told us we needed to leave, and I refused because I had done nothing wrong. He told me he would call the cops and the other guy left, but I sat my ass back down, cause The Man has never stopped me before. And bingo bango, Officer Pretty Boy cuffs me and I’m here.”

“You just can’t get rid of that rep of yours, can you?” you soften.

“I’m used to it, and it’s nothing I didn’t do to myself.” he shrugs. “Besides, I’d rather be feared than pitied.” his voice lowers, and your heart twinges.

“I don’t fear or pity you.” he smiles, not one of those smiles that’s big and all teeth, but one that’s small and warm. Jungkook had this way of saying everything he needed without speaking a word.

Silence falls over you while you finish writing the report. He didn’t do anything other than disturb the peace for a moment, no need for punishment harsher than a slap on the wrist.

“Ow!” he rubs his arm. “What the fuck was that for?” he questions, his brows furrow.

“It was a slap on the wrist.” you shrug. “You didn’t do anything that requires a fine or jail time, so you get a warning.”

“Aren’t you taking that a tad too literal?” he chuckles.

“I don’t think so.” you fight a smile. “I don’t wanna see you with flashing lights near you again unless you catch fire. Am I understood?”

“Yes ma’am.” he playfully salutes, but he knows you’re serious.

“Would you like a ride back to your car?”

“I can walk, that’s not necessary.” he says standing up and waving you off.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, the air will do me good.” his feet stutter. “Would you maybe want to get coffee on Wednesday? I didn’t imagine our reunion going quite like this.” he lets out a breathy laugh.

“I’d love that.” your eagerness to accept surprises you, and given the way he lights up, you surprise him too. — You mindlessly push the noodles you’ve been eating around on your plate letting the sound of other tables’ utensils clinking and your mother ramble on about her book club’s latest ventures buzz lowly in your head as you hum vague responses.

“… Jeon Jungkook moved back to town.” the mention of the name snaps you back into reality.

“What about Jungkook?” you ask, now at full attention.

“Have you heard he moved back to town?” she looks at you expectantly.

“I- um. I thought I saw him in the grocery store the other day, but I assumed I was seeing things.” you say keeping your voice as steady as possible.

“His mother is absolutely over the moon about it.” she says, wholly missing your lie as she was too excited at the prospect of telling you the latest gossip. Small town doesn’t leave one with much else to do.

“I’m sure she is.” you say and your chest can’t help but warm at the thought of Mrs. Jeon being so excited to see her son after he’s been gone for three years.

“She’s so happy he finally gave up on that god awful garage band.” she says, relief filling her face, and you roll your eyes. You had nearly forgotten he went to the city to make it big, you hadn’t ever doubted them, his voice alone was label worthy. “What were they called again? Red appendix?”

You blink. “Crimson Heart?” you offer her, knowing full well you’re correct.

“Ah right! That’s the one.” she says laughing at the, admittedly edgy, name. “I’m so glad he’s cleaning up his act, I expected better of him.” she adds, shaking her head. Your shoulders tense at her statement.

“Did you hear Jeon Jungkook got busted for spray painting the movie theater?” your mom questions as she leans on your door frame. Your face buried in some book you didn’t know the name of, as long as it had words in it. Mind numbing words.

“Um, no mom. I didn’t.” you mumble clearly uncomfortable with the subject. It was summer now, about six months since that night. The cold unforgiving weather that changed your world in an instant long since melted away, and as free as summer used to make you feel, it just feels hot and bitter against your skin.

“It just makes me sad, I expected better for him.” her voice solemn, clearly not ready to let the topic go.

You couldn’t muster a response that wasn’t yelling or trying to reason with her, which would get you nowhere.

“I never understood why you couldn’t have chosen the good brother.”

Your fingers clench around your book wrinkling the pages. She’d said that for years but sting you felt this time was far deeper.

“He was so studious and stayed out of trouble, but it looks like I was wrong.” she says, appearing more upset that her judgment was off, rather than the obvious issue at hand.

“Can we please not talk about them.” you plead softly, fighting your closing throat and watering eyes.

“Honey, I know you miss him, but look how much better you’re doing now! You’re reading for pleasure.” I’m reading so I can’t think. “You raised your GPA up almost a whole point before the year ended.” My test scores are the same, I just did my homework. “And I haven’t found cigarettes under your bed in months!” She seems most excited about that one. I’ll give her the smoking, they don’t fill my lungs the same way they used to. How can they when I can’t catch my breath?

Her attempt at comfort doing nothing but reminding you that you can’t be who you want to be anymore. You’d become someone who does any trivial task they can as not to spend too much time alone with their thoughts. Instead of someone who didn’t give a shit, did what they wanted to do, and most importantly had their love by their side. “Yeah, I guess not smoking anymore is good.”

“You know I always rooted for you two.” your mom says, her smile mischievous.

“I know, you always told me he was the ‘good brother’.” you try to conceal your eye roll at the same conversation you’ve had with her a million times.

“Before you and Yoongi got together, too.” she adds.

“What?” now this surprised you.

“His mom and I used to talk about how cute you’d be when you were all in elementary.” she remembers fondly.

You try to respond but you’re too shocked that her infatuation with Jungkook went past him being ‘so close yet so far.’

“Anywho, I just hope he can find the boy he used to be.” she hums.

You agree, but for largely different reasons. Your chest blooms at the thought of a smiling Jungkook.

“So do I, mom.” — Jimin (6:37pm): Hey Doll, in need of extra McLovin after lunch with The Wicked Witch of the West?

You (6:45pm): Actually, I feel okay Minie, but thank you

You (6:46pm): I’m doing better

Jimin (6:53pm): I’m proud of you, beautiful

You (7:04pm): Me too — When you walk into the coffee shop a few minutes before you were supposed to meet you’re surprised to see Jungkook already sitting at a small table by the wall of large windows with two cups of coffee placed in front of him.

“Hey Guk.” you sit down, shoulders relaxing.

“I got your old order, I hope that’s okay.” he smiles nervously.

“How the hell did you remember that?” you gasp, taking a long sip from your cup.

“You’ve had a caffeine addiction since you were like fourteen, and you practically lived at my house.” he chuckled.

“I suppose you’re right.” you nod in agreement and take another sip, the drink making your taste buds dance.

“Listen,” Jungkook begins, rubbing the back of his neck. “I want to apologize for the whole you arresting me twice thing.” he hesitates.

“Technically, I didn’t arrest you the second time.” you correct with a smile, trying to ease his obvious guilt.

“Still.” his voice insistent, almost stern. “That isn’t exactly how I wanted us to meet again after five years. It didn’t feel right to not fix it.” his face seeking the approval that his apology did, in fact, fix it.

“There was nothing to fix really, Guk. But thank you.” you soften. “I don’t think of you any different. How could I, given my past?” he chuckles at that. “And you got the shit end of the stick in both situations. I still know you’d never do anything truly bad, you’re all bark and no bite.”

“Oh, you don’t think I can bite?” he tongues the inside of his cheek smugly.

“Would you shut up?” his face shifts immediately, his eyes crinkling. “I’m serious.” you groan, but the heat threatening your cheeks and ears contradicts you. Well, that’s odd. Anyway.

“Okay.” he says after a beat. “C’mon y/n, I know you’re dying to know why I came back. Just ask.” he states, less than smoothly steering the conversation.

“Why would I wonder about you inexplicably reappearing after three years of nearly zero contact with anyone? It hasn’t crossed my mind at all.” your mouth laced with sarcasm.

“You think you’re so funny.” he squints. “I am.” you wave him off. “Alright, spill Rockstar, since you want to so bad. Why’d you give up living it up in the city to come back to all this?”

“Actually.” he laughs. “They kicked me out of the band like two years ago.”

You blink. “What? Why would they kick out their only talent?” you say screwing your brow in offense.

He nearly chokes on his coffee. He sputters trying to catch his breath, wiping his mouth on this arm. “Thank you.” he clears his throat. “But they were definitely better off without me.”

“How do you figure?”

“I wasn’t in the best place when the guys and I moved over there, for obvious reasons.” you nod. “I was getting black out drunk every other night. And writing songs that were just, not good. The kind of sad that isn’t relatable anymore, it was just painful and would make the crowds go silent.”

You grab his hand wishing you could’ve been there when he really needed it, but now will have to do. He smiles.

“The last straw though, was one night I got absurdly drunk right before a gig, and I thought I could handle it because I had been tipsy on stage before. They told me not to but I didn’t listen, and when I got to the song that I wrote about Yoongi, I just broke down sobbing on stage. I was embarrassed so I just fucked off out of the venue and kept running until I didn’t recognize where I was anymore.”

“Guk, I’m so sorry.” you squeeze his hand, and he rubs his inked thumb over you knuckles to tell you not to worry.

“No it’s okay, the guys found me the next morning, passed out in a Denny’s.” he chuckles stiffly. “They brought me home and told me that I needed to get help, they didn’t want to watch me self-destruct anymore, and at the time I was hurt but I’m grateful. It still took me a fucking while to work up the courage to come home, but if I didn’t have anyone tell me to try, I don’t think I’d be home now.” his expression turned from bitter to sweet as he recounted his story.

“I’m glad you’re home.”

“Me too.” he smiles, the stars in his eyes multiplying when he looks at you. “My dumbass fifteen year old self thought if I went dark side I could fill the hole he left, but I didn’t know what dark side really looked like until it was too late. Then it just became something I told myself so I didn’t have to face the fact that I was doing shitty shit.”

“You sound like you’ve taken a lot of time to reflect.” you say impressed.

“Limiting your alcohol intake to a normal human level will do that to you.” he chuckles.

“My dumbass sixteen year old self wasn’t much better, arguably worse.” you counter. “I thought if I got rid of everything in my life that reminded me of him, I could force myself to forget.” your face falls slightly. “Which is worse? Diving in head first or turning your back entirely?” you push out a sound that’s supposed to be laugh.

“I think both are pretty fucking miserable.” you both laugh, he gives you reassuring look. “But, tragic backstory aside. I wanted to come home to face the music and make amends with my mom.”

“My mom told me she’s very happy you’re home.” you can’t help but feel her relief.

“Yeah, I really put her through hell.” his guilt present in his expression.

“But you’re here now, aren’t you?” he relaxes, his gaze fixed on yours for a moment. There’s those stars again.

He blinks, snapping his attention to his coffee. “I’m gonna get a refill” he says, disconnecting your hands, that you had forgotten you were holding, to tap his empty cup on the table. “Do you want another?”

“Yes please.” you say turning to rummage in your bag for a few dollars to give him, but when you turn around he’s already in line. You deflate setting the cash in front of you.

Your eyes wander around the cafe, inspecting the comforting eclectic vibe it produced. Your gaze stops on Jungkook standing in line, studying how his features have changed, how he has grown a few inches, his shoulders have broadened and how you can see the way his bicep flexes ever so slightly when he takes the coffee from the barista. What the fuck? Did I just check him out?

You inhale sharply, turning your focus on anything happening on the street outside the window.

When he’s seated back in front of you, you slide the small bills in his direction. He promptly slides them back towards you and you glare at him.

“When did you get so hell-bent on being nice?” he smiles.

You scrunch your brows and drop your jaw. “What do you mean? I’ve always been nice?” you question in defense and he laughs.

“You used to make fun of me all the time.” he states, crossing his arms.

“I mean yeah, but like in a sibling banter type way.” you frown. “Did you really think I was trying to bully you?”

“No!” he reassures. “I mean it kinda sucked because…” he trails off and takes a sip of his coffee in an attempt to abandon his sentence.

“Because?” You’re not getting away that easy.

“You know it’s funny.” he breathes. “I used to have a huge crush on you.” he admits nervously.

“And?” you blink.

“And?” he echos. “No reaction? Not even a slight inhale?”

“I knew, Gukkie.” you break as softly as you can.

Now it’s his turn to be surprised. “You did?” his furrows his brows in offense.

“We both did.” you laugh lightly. “Why do you think Yoongi left an obnoxious amount of hickies on my neck?” you can’t help but cringe a little at the memory.

“That asshole!” Jungkook’s jaw drops, and you snort. “I just thought you were normal slutty teenagers.”

“I didn’t say we weren’t.” you add trying to contain your laughter at the attention his outburst brought you.

He throws you an accusatory squint. “You guys suck.” — “You didn’t need to walk me back to work.” you beam at Jungkook as you walk through the doors of the station. “I don’t need protection.”

“I know you don’t.” he defends. “Maybe I just wanted an excuse to spend more time with you.” you laugh.

“What did he do this time?” Taehyung chimes in loudly from his desk.

You turn to face him. “Nothing, we just got coffee and caught up.”

His expression remains bitter and unconvinced. You opt for brushing him off.

“Thank you, Gukkie.” you smile when you turn back to Jungkook.

“No, you.” he says, patting your hair affectionately before he exits.

You stand at your desk, shifting various papers to pick up where you left off when you see Taehyung approaching you out of the corner of your eye.

“What the fuck, y/n?” he asks angrily, and you widen your eyes in confusion.

“I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?”

“Listen, I get it.” he ignores you. “You let him off easy a couple times because you have history together or whatever. But now you’re going on a date with him?” he accuses.

“Tae, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” he scoffs, and your jaw tenses. “I would never slack on my job. And that most definitely was not a date.” your words sharp, hoping you’ll get him to drop whatever bullshit this is.

“Then why would you let him go both times?” he crosses his arms waiting impatiently for a response.

“I didn’t ‘let him go,’ because we had no reason to keep him. It’s not illegal to defend yourself or to be a bit of a stubborn ass.” you defend, raising your voice. “He didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Sure okay.” Tae says, clearly annoyed averting his gaze from you.

“I trust him, and you should trust me Taehyung. Why are you being like this?” your voice falling slightly. “Because, I care about you, and the kid is bad news. Do you not remember all that shit he pulled at the end of high school before he took off for several years? He can just show up and everything is heart eyes and open arms?” he says trying to convince you but all it does is make your blood boil.

“I appreciate your concern,” you bite. “But you don’t know him.” He shakes his head letting out a stiff laugh. “Figures you wouldn’t be able to read him, you always did know how to pick ‘em.” “What the fuck, is that supposed to mean?” you say all but seeing red, trying but failing not to yell.

He tongues his cheek and turns to walk back to his desk, very much done with the subject, but you were far from it.

“No!” you say following him. “You can’t just say that and then walk away. Explain yourself.” “I don’t know what the fuck is going on out here but it’s going to end right now.” Captain Kim Namjoon says sternly from his office doorway, arms crossed tight on his chest. “Our apologies, Sir.” you say, both of you bowing at him.

“Y/n, you look frazzled, go home and walk it off.” he offers pointing at the door. “Captain, we’ll drop it. I-” “It wasn’t a suggestion, Officer y/l.” he interrupts. “I expect you’ll be better tomorrow.” his voice a little softer now.

“Yes, Sir.” you bow again, and turn on your heals quickly, avoiding Tae entering your line of vision.

You white knuckle your steering wheel your whole drive home, you’re probably speeding but you can’t be bothered to check. What are you gonna do? Get pulled over?

When your car is parked, you fish your phone out of your pocket. You pull up Jungkook’s contact and your finger hovers over the call button for a second, but you can’t bring yourself to press it with him having been so happy when you two parted less than an hour ago. You opt for seeking comfort from someone else.

You (3:32pm): I need you

Jimin (3:35pm): I’m off in an hour <3 — Your chest rises and falls rapidly while you stare at Jimin’s ceiling, waiting for the normal relief that settles after you two have sex.

But even after you’ve caught your breath you still don’t feel it, the sweat covering your body starting to feel less like afterglow and more like guilt. Why won’t my chest unknot? We’ve hate-fucked countless times. What’s different?

You brush it off shaking your head in the hopes you can trick yourself into feeling normal, before you stand up to gather your clothes. You shudder at how sticky your skin feels against itself as you button up your shirt.

You decide some fresh air would do you good, and you open his bedroom window and take a breath and let the flowers outside fill your nose.

“You okay, beautiful?” Jimin’s voice sounds from behind you. “I don’t think I can do this anymore.” you say before you can fully register what you’re saying. You turn to him, his towel hanging lowly on his hips and the hand tousling his damp hair stops in its tracks, his eyes widen. “Is the sex not good anymore? I thought you liked it when I bit your ass.” he chuckles through his worry. His joke makes you soften a little. “No, it’s not anything you did.” you say walking over to hold his hands. “Remember how I said I was doing better?” he nods, his worry fades into a smile. “Turns out that’s more true than I thought it was.” you say and as the words leave your mouth, your body finds that relief it was looking for. Feeling like, for the first time in forever you don’t need to escape your own mind for a minute to function. “Is there a guy?” he quirks a mischievous brow. “Are you ready to be monogamous?” he gasps dramatically. You shove his shoulder while he giggles. “No guy, I just…” you think for a moment. “Don’t need to forget anymore.” you breathe, lungs feeling lighter, and he smiles brightly.

He hugs you tightly. “I really am proud of you, y/n.” he says into your hair. You smile against his shoulder. “Me too.”

You break the hug and he frowns slightly. “Guess it’s you and me for a while now bud.” he says looking at his palm.

“Jimin, I just had an emotional epiphany, and it only took you two seconds to be gross again?” “That’s why you love me.” he laughs trying to give you another hug. You laugh, pushing him by the shoulders. “Fuck off, Park.” — The sun hits your skin warming it despite the cool breeze, music playing your ears as your feet keep a steady rhythm against the pavement below you. Your late morning jog becoming more of a nature walk with the changing seasons. The greenery returning and the sweet smell it provides makes your limbs feel a bit lighter. You nearly throw a punch when someone starts jogging next to you. You stumble slightly after you nearly run into a sign. When you pull your ear buds out he’s laughing at you.

“Careful there.” Jungkook laughs, continuing to match your pace. “You scared the fuck out of me.” you huff steadying yourself. “What are you doing?” “Um-” He looks at you and then his feet. “Jogging?”

“Astute observation,” you smile in spite of yourself. “I mean why are you following me, creep?” you laugh. “I was jogging on the other side of the street and when I saw you I thought I’d join.” he shrugs. “I guess that’s allowed.” Neither of you talks for a few minutes, nothing but your shoes fitting the sidewalk and your heavy breaths filling your ears.

Normally with a silence like this your mind would shuffle through the files of your mind, bringing a similar memory to the forefront, good or bad. But you come up blank. You inhale deeply deciding to file this under ‘Something New.’

“Are you getting tired?” He asks. “No?”

“Good.” he smiles and tries to wink before he picks up his pace, pulling ahead of you. “A race? What are you, twelve?” you laugh running faster.

“Sorry, I can’t hear you over me winning!” he calls over his shoulder, and you groan at the considerable distance he’s put between you.

“You’re an asshole!” you pick up your speed fully running ahead of him.

You laugh and chase each other halfway across town, if you could see how you look you would probably be embarrassed, but you can’t be bothered to think about anything but the wind hitting your face and the idiot you’re running with.

He stops in front of a small market, and contrary to how you struggle to catch your breath, your lungs feel fuller than they have in years.

“Do you wanna get ice cream?” he questions, eyeing the banner in the store window.

“Won’t that negate all the exercise we just did?” you breathe, wiping sweat off your forehead. “And?” “You make a strong argument.” you say pushing the door to the corner store open and sighing when the air condition hits you like a refreshing wall. You walk straight to the large freezer to pick out your respective flavors.

You wordlessly decide to walk home in favor of more running, talking about nothing between bites of your cold treats, and you can’t help but think the flowers smell a little sweeter. — You have more work to catch up on than you normally do, you opt for having lunch at your desk so you can work through your break. You have your lunch to your side as your fingers click away on your keyboard.

Something being placed gently on your desk draws your attention away from your screen. You look over too a coffee cup with ‘I’m sorry’ written on it and with a sheepish looking Tae with his hand still wrapped around it. “I’m sorry.” he says looking guilty. “Tae-”

“I acted like a complete ass the other day.” he interrupts before you can even fully think of a response. “Well I won’t argue with that.” you soften and he looks the slightest bit relieved. “I just care about you, and I don’t trust him.” he reiterates his statement from a few days prior.

“This apology was going so well.” you half laugh.

“But!” he adds quickly. “But, I trust you. And if you trust him, then that’s good enough for me.” he says with large eyes, nudging the coffee toward you in the hopes you’ll accept his regret. “Thank you, Tae.” you say taking a sip of the bittersweet drink, appreciating his sincerity. Truth be told, you had already begun to forgive him, he just wants you to be happy. If he expresses his concerns in a less assholistic way next time, you’d be happy to listen. “And I won’t stand in your way if you want to date him.” he smiles. “Like you could, I can kick your ass Kim.” you laugh. “And what is it with you and us dating? I promise you, it’s not like that.”

“Awfully defensive for someone who has no reason to be.” he eyes you with a stupid smirk.

“I just forgave you, don’t push it.” you point a finger and he raises his hands in defense though he doesn’t drop the taunting smirk on his face. He walks backwards to his desk and sits in his chair giving you a nod as one last confirmation that you’ve forgiven him. You continue your work, the air feeling light in the station for the first time since your fight. So focused on your pile of tasks you don’t even notice it’s dark out until the phone rings and makes you look up from your computer.

“Hello, this is Officer y/l.”

“Hello dear, this is Mrs. Choi.” she says sweetly. It’s like clockwork with this fucking lady. “Could you possibly send an officer to this side of town? I saw a young man in a black hoodie hop the fence to the old place.” Well that is far more description than usual.

“Of course, I’ll go make sure everything is okay.” you reassure.

“It’s appreciated as always, Miss y/n.” she says before she hangs up.

“Mrs. Choi?” Tae asks lazily, not even lifting his eyes from his computer.

“Yep.” you say tossing your jacket on.

“Do you want me to check on it?” now he’s looking at you, a hint of concern in his eyes.

“No, I’ll be fine.” you smile. More than fine this time.

Your drive to the old house feels way more like a normal patrol than it ever has, the air feeling like a fog has been cleared. Or perhaps you’re just getting a little too used to Mrs. Choi’s usual request.

You walk down the familiar dirt driveway and your eyebrows furrow when you see a light in the window. Incredible, the old woman who cried wolf is actually right.

“Police!” you shout before you turn the doorknob, your guard not too high as you’re expecting a harmless teenager. Though you’re surprised when you find Jungkook sitting against the wall at the edge of the tattered living room, his legs bent with his forearms resting on them and a bottle of whiskey by his hip. “I’m not here to damage any property.” he says calmly, raising his hands above his head in a lazy surrender. “What are you doing here?” you ask and point your flashlight at the ceiling to better light the space, the light on his phone not doing very much by itself.

“It was something of a quiet place for me. I guess old habits die hard.” he said patting the dusty wall he’s leaning against.

“It was for me too.” you breathe, you look around the room taking in how it’s become even more run down and not quite as beautiful as you remember but breathtaking even without the fantastical dream cloud your memories have become muddled with. “Did he bring you here too?” he looks at you through his messy hair, much more practiced than you at bringing Yoongi up in conversation.

“Yeah he did.” you smile fondly. “We used to have picnics here all the time during the summer.”

“Sounds romantic.” he says, with a comedic scoff.

“Hey, for a sixteen year old? Peak romance.” you retort and he chuckles, letting his head fall against the wall. “He never told me he brought you here too.” you furrow your brows. “Makes sense though, it was his favorite place.” “Yeah, he brought me here a few times when he could ‘remove the stick from my ass.’” he laughs at the memory. “I never understood, there’s about three inches of dust on everything and all the windows are cracked.” he shakes his head. “But after he was gone, it was the most peaceful place I could find. There’s no place as serene as these four shitty walls.” he smiles looking up at you. “It was far less peaceful for me after the accident. The silence coming from this place was deafening for a long time.” you take a seat next to him. “But it’s not so bad anymore.” you hum, eyes scanning the room. You sit in a comfortable silence for a few minutes letting the sound of the crickets fill your ears, doing your best to not disrupt the stillness around you.

“I want to thank you.” your mouth making the decisions for you once again. “I missed you a lot and spending time with you has been really nice. I’ve been able to face things again that I didn’t think I ever would.” you steady your breath. “So, thank you.”

“I should thank you too.” he begins, and you turn to watch the way his profile moves when he speaks. “I can’t recall a time I smiled when thinking of him. It feels nice to reminisce, not just remember and wish he was still here.”

“God, he wouldn’t recognize either of us.” you say looking down at your uniform and Jungkook’s dirtied jeans.

“He’d kick both our asses.” you laugh.

“You know for a long time,” you hum, leaning your head on his shoulder. “I was upset because I lost the boy I was in love with.” he shifts a bit. “But somewhere along the way, it became less about being in love and more that someone I cared for so deeply was gone. I don’t know when or where I fell out of love, but it took me a long time to realize that I had.” “I don’t think falling in or out of love can be pinned to a single moment. You just kinda have to take a step back every so often to assess how fucked you currently are.” he laughs, leaning his head on yours. “How vulgar yet profound.” you smile and lace your fingers together. Your mind is running at a dull roar. You had never actually said you weren’t in love with Yoongi out loud before, not even to yourself. You suppose on some level you’ve known for years but saying it made you aware of just how true it was, like you’d been standing on a diving board for ages and finally took the leap that wasn’t so scary after all. You’d still give your left arm to have him there with you now, whether you were still just as in love or maybe just a friend. You still loved him but maybe… I’m not in love anymore. Before you have a chance to explore that thought further you feel Jungkook’s lips on yours, you gasp slightly and move your mouth with his, humming at how soft his lips are.

Despite your realization, when you close your eyes you’re overwhelmed with how familiar this feels. The stale smell of the wood around you and images of Yoongi kissing you right where you’re sitting flashing through your mind. Suddenly your heart is beating in your ears and just as quickly as it began you break the kiss.

“Fuck, y/n I’m so sorry.” he says when his eyes meet yours again. “No don’t be, it’s okay.” you say, trying but failing to keep your voice steady as you stand. He gets up to follow you but his feet seem to be stuck. “I didn’t mean to-”

“Don’t worry about it.” you force a smile. “I should get back to work, I’ll see you Guk.” You say trying to ignore how your throat wants to close. He doesn’t answer, just watches as you close the door behind you, leaving him alone in the empty house. The sense of serenity he found within these walls fades as the light of your flashlight gets further away.

You pull out of the driveway, and remember why you were here in the first place when you see Mrs. Choi’s house across the street. You decide to say fuck it and drive back to the station and hope that she just went to bed. — You (2:30am): Sorry I left. I just need to think

Jungkook (2:37am): No I’m sorry, take your time

You read the same two texts over for what has to be the three hundredth time in the last few days. For a long time you stared at it unsure if you should respond, and then too much time had passed.

Not even texting could be simple with Jungkook.

But where the paradox lies is, if you stop thinking, the smile you hold when you’re with him is the simplest thing you’ve ever done.

Just like the texts you play the kiss in your mind on a loop, your lips tingling at the memory. The old house under your feet and Jungkook’s arms around you crosses too many wires in your brain for anything to make sense.

All you know is… when he kissed your lips you felt like you could breathe again. — You’re sitting on your couch when you hear a frantic knocking at your door. You jump at the sound and check the time. 11:30? What the hell? Your training kicks in and you approach your door and open it slowly.

“Okay listen, I’m so fucking sorry.” Jungkook rambles frantically pushing past you beginning to pace around your living room. “It was fucked up to kiss you, but I just- your eyes looked so beautiful and- shit that’s not the point.” he runs a hand through his hair trying to collect his thoughts. “Guk, it’s okay. You don’t need to-”

“I know what I did was shitty but we haven’t talked in days, and I can’t bear to not have you in my life again.” he’s on the verge of yelling at this point. “This time since I’ve been home with you is the most alive I’ve felt since I was fucking fifteen.”

“I’m not upset with y-”

“I know, I wouldn’t forgive me either, but I needed to try and-”

“Oh for fucks sake.” you mumble as he continues to ramble. You take in a breath. “I wanted you to kiss me!”

“I-” he finally stops, nearly out of breath. “You what?” “I wanted you to kiss me, that’s what scared me.” you clarify now that he’s listening.

He just blinks unsure of what to say. He imagined this going far differently, something more along the mine of you slamming the door in his face, but you didn’t and his heart swells as he takes in your words. “I want it too.” you continue though you’re unsure where you’re going. “I love you, Jungkook, and I can’t get your stupid pretty smile out of my head and-”

“You love me?” the words falling from his mouth softly, and his gaze fixes on your face.

“Yes.” you breathe realizing what you just said. “And it scares the shit out of me.”

“How do you think I feel? I’m in love with my deceased brother’s ex.” he counters, laughing at how ridiculous your situation is, and your heart can’t help but race at his bittersweet words. “But you’re the first time I’ve felt home in forever.” he says, his eyes hiding behind messy bangs.

“Me too.” you admit, and the air in your lungs feels lighter. “I know he would want us to follow our hearts but… like this?” you ask sheepishly, maintaining the distance between you as if neither of you are allowed to cross the invisible threshold.

“I think that even if you guys got the opportunity to break up like two normal ass teenagers…” he begins, his face full of concern but his eyes filled with the hope that you’ll agree. “He always wanted everyone he cared about to be happy, and fuck y/n, you make me so happy. You always have.” There’s those stars again.

“But I feel guilty.” your eyes threatening to water for the first time in a long time, and your lips tingle at the memory of Jungkook’s lips on yours. “Me too.” he takes a step closer to you. “But we don’t have to. We can-” “No, you don’t understand.” you interrupt and he deflates. “I feel guilty because even though we’re talking about him… I can’t stop thinking about how badly I want you to kiss me again.” “Fuck, okay.” he says as if you had just stolen the air from his lungs. He quickly closes the gap between you and reconnects your lips. You put your arms around his neck and attempt to pull him as close as you can, his hands are warm on your jaw and the dream cloud in your mind feels as if it’s been wrapped around the two of you. A blanket of home that you didn’t know had been missing until you had it again.

You run your fingers through his hair and savor how it feels in your hands. He licks into your mouth and his heavy breaths feel hot between kisses. He feels almost frantic as you feel his nails gently dig into the sides of your neck, as though you’d slip out of his grasp if he doesn’t tighten his grip, the dull pressure making you moan into his mouth.

You put your hands on his and he relaxes his fingers. You pull his bottom lip between your teeth, tugging it lightly and he groans at the sensation, your thighs rub together at how you’re affecting him.

You wordlessly guide him to the couch and nudge him gently until his shoulders are flush with the back of the couch. You straddle him and his thighs flex underneath your ass, you resist the urge to grind down onto him in favor of kissing along his jaw.

His tense shoulders release under your hands as your lips continue their path to his neck. Your teeth graze his skin and his breath catches in your ear, you smirk and bite down harder. His hands quickly grab onto your hips squeezing them in tandem with your mouth, you run your tongue along his reddened skin and your sounds create the most beautiful harmony you’ve ever heard.

Your hips give into temptation and grind down on his hardened dick, the layers between you not doing much in the way of friction but the way his hands tighten around your waist send heat through you melting you from the inside out.

Your hand snakes between you to palm him through his jeans and you move your head up to face him, to see how sweet he looks with his eyes squeezed shut and lips parted from your touch. He reconnects your mouths and the kiss is messy as neither of you can properly think.

You break the kiss and quickly slip to your knees between his thighs. You tuck your fingers into his waistband and pause your movement, eyes searching for his. “Is this okay?” you ask with a slight tug to his pants, he answers by smirking lazily and helping you slide them down his hips.

You pull his boxers down and your mouth waters when you see his dick, the tip a frustrated shade of red. You run your tongue along the thick vein on the underside of this length, wrapping your lips around it when you reach the tip. He groans as if he’s relieved to finally have your lips wrapped around him. He grips your hair tightly, fingers flexing against your scalp as he fights the urge to push your head down to his base.

“Fuck, your mouth feels so good, sweetheart.” he says out of breath, working against his flexing abdomen to keep his voice steady. You hum around him in response making his hips stutter against your mouth, and arousal pools at your core.

You sink your mouth as far down as you can and he moans deeply holding your head in place beginning to thrust into your mouth to test the waters. You grip his thighs to ground yourself and do your best to ignore the way your lungs are beginning to burn. He picks up his pace and you take his cock in your throat until tears prick in your eyes. You tap his thigh and he takes the hint releasing your head so you can breath again.

“You like having your pretty mouth fucked, don’t you?” he questions as he wipes a tear from your eye with his thumb. You nod eagerly and move to take his cock back in your mouth but his grip on your hair stops you. “Patience beautiful,” his eyes darken looking at your swollen lips. “Open.” he says, his voice low. You oblige, flatting your tongue for good measure, he spits in your mouth and his cock twitches at the sight. He lowers your lips back on his dick, the extra wetness making him groan at how messy you look, and you try to keep your throat as relaxed as you can, doing your best to ignore the growing arousal between your legs.

He breaks his assault on your mouth, pulling your head up with a wet pop and you gasp. “Can I taste you too, sweetheart?” he asks sweetly despite how ready he looks to devour you.

“Yes Sir.” you answer and his pupils twitch at the name.

“You’re gonna ruin me.” he laughs stiffly, releasing your hair and you realize how sore your scalp is.

You stand on shaky legs, he sheds his shirt and you follow suit before laying on the couch in front of him. You tuck your fingers in your waistband but he stops you. “Let me.” He says his eyes softening and you relent.

He puts his large palm on your waist and kisses your lips slowly contradicting his previous actions. He leaves hot open mouthed kisses on your neck and down your chest, the wet trail he leaves behind feeling cold when the air hits it. He wraps his mouth around one of your hardened nipples, swirling his tongue and teasing his teeth on the sensitive skin.

Your moan catches in your throat as he bites down and your hand tangles in his hair trying to pull him closer. His free hand runs up your arm removing it from his head and pinning against the cushion gently, you lace your fingers together and you can feel him smile against your chest.

His mouth doing little to relieve the real fire you’re feeling growing deep in your abdomen. You give into the urge to move your hips against his waist and he chuckles deeply taking the hint and continuing his path down your stomach, nipping at your skin when he reaches the hem of your pants.

His breathing picks up again as he slips your pants down your legs and the wet spot on your underwear is exposed to his gaze. He takes his time removing your panties, reveling in the string of your slick that follows. “Such a pretty pussy.” he breathes quietly just to himself.

He tosses them on the floor and eagerly puts your thighs on his shoulders placing gentle pecks anywhere but where you need his mouth. You roll your hips to meet his face and he smirks darkly at your frustration. After properly enjoying your wordless plea he gives you what you want, licking a long flat stripe from your entrance to your clit and you whine at the small bit of relief he’s giving you.

“Did you get this wet just from sucking my cock, sweetheart?” you deflate slightly at his teasing and nod, clenching around nothing at his words. He swallows a groan at the sight in front of him.

He wastes no time wrapping his lips around your clit, swirling tongue in delicious circles. A moan rips out of your throat at the sudden stimulation and he groans wrapping his arms tighter around your thighs.

You move your hips against his face and he shifts his mouth to collect your juices on his tongue before moving back up to your clit. You fight how your thighs want to close around his head but he only presses himself further into you at the shaking against his ears.

You feel him at your entrance, stretching you slowly with two fingers as he continues his work on your clit. He curls his digits into you and your hips buck at the sensation.

“That’s my good girl, fuck yourself on my tongue.” he moans into your folds, flattening his tongue for you to use. He picks up the pace of his hand and you rut against his mouth. The sounds you’ve been swallowing down flowing out of your lips before you can stop them.

“Jungkook, fuck!” you whine and he scissors his fingers faster to bring you to your rapidly approaching peak. Your walls clench and your rhythm falters, he wraps his lips around your clit sucking as he does. Your orgasm rips through you and onto his fingers with a loud moan.

“You’re so beautiful.” he says breathless, he almost sounds amazed that someone can look so beautiful when they cum.

He quickly climbs over you, whipping his mouth with the back of his hand and reconnecting your lips as soon as he reaches your face, he can’t get enough of your lips and you moan at your taste on his mouth.

He slips his pants down his legs, and lines himself up with your entrance, gasping at your wetness on his painfully hard cock. His eyes widen “I didn’t bring a-”

“I’m on the pill.” you reassure, grinding up against his dick.

“Thank fuck.” he sighs, pushing his cock in as he does. Your eyes close at the stretch he’s providing. He pushes in rather slowly savoring every small clench and twitch your walls give him.

He’s quick to pick up the pace seeing as you were more than happy when he was rough earlier. You moan at how well he fucks into you, you hold onto his arms as you’re afraid you’ll float away if you don’t anchor yourself. He smacks his hips against you harder and you gasp at how deep he is, trying your best not to yelp.

He wraps his arm around your back and takes a handful of your hair, yanking against your sore scalp until your chin is pointing at the ceiling, and you can’t contain your moans with your neck so open. “Don’t hold back, sweetheart. Give me all those beautiful sounds.” he says into your ear before sinking his teeth into your neck.

With your new position you’re a moaning mess underneath him and you feel him smirk against your skin as he delivers particularly hard thrusts, the sound of your moans and slapping skin filling the room..

He continues his relentless pace, watching you in awe. “Such a pretty slut.” he groans. “Look at you falling apart on my cock.” you can only whimper in response. He rubs your clit so he can watch your eyes roll back, doing his best to ignore his approaching orgasm so he can feel you cum again on his cock.

“I’m- fucking- I’m gonna-.” you try to warn doing your best to keep your voice steady.

“Good girl, cum for me, beautiful.” he soothes, lacing his finger with yours, mumbling praises into your ear as you clench around him, his hips work hard to keep their pace through your orgasm.

With his not far behind, he thrusts faster finally letting go. He reconnects your lips, the kiss hot and messy as his end is finally in sight.

His hips stutter. “I love you.” He breathes as he releases into you, falling against you shortly after and you laugh, brushing his wet hair out of his eyes while he catches his breath.

“I love you, too.” you whisper and he hums holding you tightly.

“I could get used to hearing that.” he smiles brightly, before he kisses you slowly. — “So…” you begin after the two of you are showered. Jungkook is sitting on the end of your bed ruffling his damp hair. “So?” he perks up, taking your hands in his. “Are you sure you want to do this?” you say squeezing his hands, still a little nervous despite the several ‘I love you’s and how your heart pounds when you look in eyes. Still a little nervous that if you hold on too tight he’ll slip through your fingers. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” he says leaning into your touch, and his words calm your racing heart.

“Okay.” you smile brightly, and he can’t help but mirror you.

“Hey.” he says, making sure you’re giving him your full attention, and you meet his gaze. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” — You stand next to Jungkook, fingers laced tightly together, as you stare down the familiar dirt driveway.

“You ready?” he asks, still looking straight ahead at the chicken wire fence.

“No.”

“Yeah, me either.”

He squeezes your hand in his as you walk through the dirt and into the old house, same as you left it. You walk past the living room into the furthest bedroom where Yoongi’s mark is most prominent in the house. You stop at the corner where he carved that heart in the wall that, besides some dust, looks just like the day he put it there.

“Hi Hyung,” Jungkook begins. “I’m sorry I haven’t come to talk to you in a long time.” he looks a tad nervous as if he’ll be reprimanded, he squeezes your hand and you rub your thumb over his knuckles. “I found her,” he says, sounding more sure of himself. “And I wanted you to meet her. Are you surprised?”

“We are too.” you breathe out a laugh. “Hey Yoongs,” your voice is a little shaky. “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner, I just didn’t know how.” you breathe. “I miss you, and I want you to know that I’m happy.” you reassure, remembering how he always checked. “We’re happy.” you put your other hand on Jungkook’s.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of her.” He adds, placing a kiss on your temple.

“And I’ll take care of him.” you say, and you both put your hand on the heart gently. That final breath that was taken from you those years ago returns and your lungs finally feel full again, and you open your mouth to speak.

“I love you, angel.”

————————

A/N -> Hello! I hope you liked it!!! I’m really proud of this one, feel more than free to send me an ask with your thoughts, I’d love to know what you thought. <3

Tag List -> @ancailinaerach @kpopfanfictionhoes @bunnyboyenthusiast @singularity-mp3

711 notes · View notes

heartrendcr-blog · 7 years

Text

“ SO, YOU BLOW THINGS UP? ” He asked, leaning against the brick wall to corner the younger kid. Wicek had never been known for tact and, if the boy hadn’t wanted to talk about it, he would not notice. Or care. “ Ever thought of blowing up a church? ”

🌟 @ghezenblessed liked for a starter!

#ghezenblessed #❪ ❛ a new day has dawned ❫ ┋ VERSE 01 #( i went with wylan #i hope that's okay~ )

16 notes · View notes

ranger-kellyn · 4 years

Text

11 Favorite Excerpts

In honor if it being the 11 year anniversary of the first fic I ever posted, Platinum Bound, I thought I’d list out 10 of my favorite excerpts from everything I’ve posted so far, 1 from something I haven’t posted yet, and then kind of just. Talk about it~

As always, feel free to talk to me about any of my fics, no matter how old or new~ I’m very vain~<3

1 - Come With Me - Prologue - 03/02/2015 - Completed

A day that was supposed to be filled with sorrow and mourning had turned out to be very lovely. The cold that had long persisted since November had decided to lighten its icy grip on this one day in particular. It was almost a tragedy in itself that the weather failed to match the mood by pouring a relentless downpour. Rain was fit for a funeral. Not sunshine.

The opening to Come With Me has always had a special place in my heart, and while I know my writing has gotten better since then, I always hold up this opening as like...my premium brand, I suppose. I love the mood the prologue sets up for Siebold’s side of the story. Mismatched weather. His parents having the same death date. A sense of odd relationship dynamics with them. Clear indication that there’s going to be a lot of conflict with Jean as shown by Diantha, Siebold’d childhood friend, who has a clear disdain towards him. CWM may not be my BEST WORK, but it’s probably one of my favorites. ALSO....come on...the restaurant’s name is Apple of The Earth, which is a direct translation of pomme de terre, which is French for potato. And like???? i just get a little kick out of it every time

2 - It Takes Two - 12/16/2014 - Oneshot

Siebold chuckled. “A water dark type? My, my. You’ve already put yourself at a disadvantage. Cress shook his head. “Don’t give away your secret ingredient just yet, Siebold. Leave something to the imagination, please,” he teased.

If there is ONE THING I LOVE it’s writing flirty banter for these two, and this fic if full of it. My first fic for Cress/Siebold, staking my claim on the pool noodle that is this ship. I AM the captain of this pool noodle

3 - Second Chances - Chapter 7 - 06/14/2017 - Ongoing

“It was supposed to be me!” . . . Shaking, she stopped herself in the front hallway. Looking over the large, glass-famed map, she felt as though she was leaving her own body as she slammed herself against it in a last ditch effort to feel something other than emotional pain. In an effort to put a physical wound to her emotional one.

There’s plenty of happier lines from this fic I could choose. Ch 10 had a section I was considering instead, but I think this emotionally charged section has always stood out for me. I like to generally characterize Cynthia as someone who is in control of her emotions, or at the very least, is very good at compartmentalizing things, but here, she absolutely loses it. No rationality. No seeking help. Just raw pain. It was supposed to be me. Because it was! It absolutely was! In the previous chapter you learn that Diantha had fully intended to propose to her! But was instead manipulated by her mother and manager into leaving Cynthia. While Cynthia didn’t know that, we do, and that makes that line so much more painful to me. I swear. ONE DAY. I’ll actually finish this fic.

4 - Fortune and Fame - Chapter 1 - 03/23/2016 - Completed

“The best part of that outfit would be taking it off.” Her mouth turns into a smile. “I should think so,” she tells you.

Second person POV is a HUGE pain in the ass, but I still love this silly little fic, and I love this silly little moment EVEN MORE. What can I say. I love flirty banter. This whole fic was an absolute experiment, and while it certainly could be better, considering 2POV is not something I regularly work with, I’ve never been too upset with it.

5 - Stockholm - Chapter 4 - 06/20/2016 - Ongoing

“You’re my mission and my mission alone. I don’t need outside help,” he tells me. I catch myself about to laugh. “Figured you would welcome it seeing as whatever you think you’re doing to me clearly isn’t working.” He moves closer, enough for me to feel the warmth of his body, but it’s only when I think he’s looking at my lips do I come to my senses, pulling my legs up to my person, and pushing back up against the wall. “I would say it’s working just fine.”

i like to think of this fic as me playing in a sandbox. i don’t REALLY know what i’m doing, but i’m having fun, and that’s all that matters. This is a fic I had been thinking about for the longest time. I abandoned it back in 2016. I don’t really remember why, but I posted the first update early this year, and I just. I’ve been loving it since. I haven’t played in first person in SUCH a long time, it’s just nice to play in the space, and explore a darker emotion I guess. Game verse Commander Saturn/Dawn is always a weakness of mine

6 - Shadows of My Heart - Chapter 4 - 02/22/2011 - Completed

Looking at Kellyn, I notice that he has taken his jacket off and is now offering it to me. Shaking my head, I tell him that I can't take it, even though I would love nothing more than to take him up on his offer. He walks closer, smiling as he places his jacket over me. Now, the only thing I hear is the sound of the rain bouncing off of Kellyn's jacket, and the sound my own heartbeat. I'd have to be crazy or dead to not be blushing right now, and obviously my pulse is still going…

if you’ve followed me for a few years, you might think this is a weird pick for me. i complain about it a lot. i experience a lot of visceral cringe whenever i reread it (Like i did just now searching for a section i liked) But that’s why I like it. I love having this visible benchmark of where I’ve come from, and where my ideals have shifted to. I’ve always written Kellyn as my Ideal Man™© and in this fic he is suCH A “NICE GUY” AND IT’S JUST. SO BAD. I’M SO GLAD I’M NOT WITH THE KIND OF PERSON I USED TO WISH I WAS WITH. This fic is, at best, clumsy. Younger me was venting a LOT of stuff. Everything I put Rhythmi through in the fic, I was dealing with irl, and NOT handling them well. I never recommend this for reading, but I list it here because it’s like looking in a time capsule.

7 - Washington Blues - Chapter 2 - 04/30/2012 - Abandoned Work

Looking back up at me, the afternoon sun shines on her face. As if I needed to be reminded that she is very pretty. “I believe that it is too soon to be giving a definite answer, but,” she pauses to brush some hair behind her ear, “I do believe I am going to like it here.” I nod, liking the answer she has provided. I put my pink bag over my shoulder, and step down the stairs. “That’s good to hear. I do hope you come to love our little band,” I say, putting a little emphasis on “our”. Hopefully she will start using that term as well.

This fic has been abandoned since 2012, but as I was rereading it just now, I...felt a weird urge to give it a second chance? Marching band was my EVERYTHING in high school. It was basically my personality. It and Homestuck. If nothing else, I think I might give this fic a redo, because it’s something my younger self would have loved. I had so many ideas I wanted to explore and I think it would be a fun space to explore. Just reading it I got the most tactile memories of band camp, from the sounds, all the way down to the god awful smells. One day I’ll give this fic another go, but probably in 3rd person lmao. Also, it’s kind of funny. I remember holding this fic up as like. My Magnum Opus. I considered chapter 1 to be the BEST thing I had written up to that point. Now? It’s so fucking D RY......and no real person talks like they all do l m a o I love being able to see how far I’ve come.

8 - Hindsight - Sometime Feb 2014? - Oneshot for an old RP group

This question led him to placing both of his hands in his lap. “I would never describe her as winter. It’s the season she hates the most. From what I’ve gathered during our travels together, understandably so,” he answered, not meeting her eyes.

While this fic is OLD it holds a very special place in my heart. I had stopped writing for a while. For about 2 years nothing I wrote ever really panned out, and joining that RP group was literally the best thing I could have done for my creativity. It was so much fun, and I met some truly incredible people thanks to it. Literally, everything I’ve written since I attribute to that group. <3 I may not talk to most of them anymore, but I have some of the best memories of that time, and I just. Genuinely don’t think I would have HALF of what I have written now if it hadn’t been for their support. <3

9 - Ours For The Taking - Chapter 2 - 01/28/2012 - Abandoned Work

Killing is in the nature of almost every Pokémon, but we humans have inhibited that out for the most part. It doesn't take much to trigger the instinct though. A couple kills and then they thirst for blood.

Now i know this looks like a WACK ASS PICK. It’s been abandoned since 2012. It’s bad. It’s gore. It’s bad. But that’s exactly why I picked it. That, and I know it would chap Farla’s ass bc she told me years ago how awful this fic was. The whole reason my writing confidence took a blow. I can look back and know that this fic wasn’t great, but I hate for my younger self that they were knocked down like that. You can’t learn the boundaries of your writing until you try to push them. Maybe I could have turned into a great gore/horror writer if I hadn’t been knocked down? Who knows? But because of that negative experience, I now approach all comments I leave on fics with “unconditional positive regard”. I firmly believe if someone wants con-crit they’ll ask for it, and even then, I’m not someone who is going to offer up that criticism. That’s not my jam. I’m just here for a good time. This fic may be bad, but that’s why I love it. I love how over the top, 2Edgy4me the two chapters are.

10 - Getaway Car - Chapter 5 - 01/01/2019 - Ongoing

Pulling away just enough to make them look at one another, Cynthia looked her over. She was getting more drunk admissions than she ever thought she would, and she was in no frame of mind to worry about pushing her luck. “How did that make you feel?” she asked. She let her hand trail down her arm as she spoke. “Grounded. Like nothing else in the world mattered except us in that moment. I wasn’t worried about filming, deadlines, what people might say or think, or– anything, really. All that mattered was the calm you brought me, and how without meaning to you’ve made me feel like the most important person in the room.”

It’s no secret that Getaway Car is like. MY BABY. This is MY FIC. MY BABY. I CHERISH THIS FIC FOR SO MANY REASONS. I like venting through characters, and this fic is no exception. But I loved writing this moment specifically, because it just...I think it encapsulates everything Diantha has been looking for. She lives a charmed, chaotic life. Up to that point in the fic, she’s with a man who can’t really be bothered to give her the time of day, but also can’t handle the idea of letting her go. Without meaning to, without necessarily trying to, Cynthia makes her feel like the most important person in the room. She grounds her, and someone who lives a star-studded life needs that. This fic is my baby. My everything. It’s probably what I’m known for at this point, and I’m A-OK with that because these two are my everything. (ALSO, I specifically posted this fic when I did to get Farla to leave me a review, and had a good laugh about it when she did. My “bat shit crazy” plot device has ended up being my most popular fic~)

11 - Namtaflu - Chapter _ - Draft from NaNoWriMo 2019

The sound of something rising to the surface of the water attracted everyone’s attention. Turning their eyes towards the water, one by one, countless Starmie and Staryu began to surface, floating atop the water, their bright gem center’s shining in the moonlight. “Oh, wow,” Bianca said, holding the Audino closer to herself. "What are they doing?” Hilbert asked, turning himself so he wasn’t having to strain to look at them. Cheren shrugged. “They’ve always done this.” "They’re looking at the stars,” Hilda added. “It’s what Nona would always tell me. She said she read it in a book somewhere. They surface at night to look at the stars, and they’ll even start blinking here soon.” As she said it, from out in the distance, quick flashes of red began to move along the waves, reminding both her and Cheren of fireflies from further south. Soon enough, the entire shoreline was filled with the water pokémon blinking away at the stars, almost as if they were communicating with each other, or even something else. A few Audino continued to sit with them, everyone moved to silence by the display, afraid to make a single noise, not wanting to scare them at all and make them stop. The display moved in waves, like a heartbeat, ebbing and flowing. At times they were bright enough to cast a glow onto the shore, and at others it seemed like they had collectively stopped for the night. Once Broadway and Manhattan had decided to retire for the night, the group came to an agreement that it was time they retired for the night as well. They had stayed up long past sundown, but it had been worth every second.

I won’t be posting this fic WELL until my three current ongoing fics are completed, but this fic is pretty much everything to me. I first got the idea for this fic back in 2013, my senior year of high school. I wrote the first draft my first NaNoWriMo in 2014, and did a second draft of it last year. This fic has evolved SO MUCH, but this last draft is where I’m REALLY happy with it. I firmly believe there’s never a “right time” to write a fic, but I also believe this fic absolutely benefited from me not posting it after that first draft. They’re almost two entirely different stories. The original had a lot of unhealthy relationship dynamics, and this time, i decided, FUCK THAT, and now it’s a hilda/hilbert/cheren/bianca poly fic ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ I can’t wait for the day when I actually get to share this fic with the world.

#writing tag #my fics #i spENT ALL DANG DAY ON THIS

3 notes · View notes

santmat · 6 years

Video

youtube

PODCAST: Various Spiritual Quotes Followed by Two of the World's Oldest Passages Referring to Being VEGAN -- Spiritual Awakening Radio With James Bean @ Youtube: https://youtu.be/UzwluCLITX4

OR Listen to, and/or DOWNLOAD, the Podcast MP3 @ The Internet Archive: https://archive.org/details/TwoOfTheWorldsOldestReferencesToBeingVEGAN

* A Secure Yellow Donate Button is Located at the Radio Website: http://www.SpiritualAwakeningRadio.com/announce.html

Below Are NOTES About Today's PODCAST (3-14-19):

Today's Program -- Contents -- Outline:

Interstellar Object Oumuamua, Traveler Between the Stars;

Various Spiritual Quotes including:

"A lover finds only the path to the Beloved worth taking; Otherwise, one path is as good as another." — Darshan Singh poetry verse

An Excerpt from, Visions of Allah – On Rumi’s Mysticism and Sufi Poetry:

The Forgotten Soul (The Soul That Has Forgotten Itself);

..."Through the heaviness of their food I fell into a deep, deep sleep.” (Gnostic Hymn of the Pearl)

"All living creatures seek a life of peace, So pass your days on this Earth humanely. Even the heart that beats in an animal’s breast Knows sympathy, brims with love. So look on all living creatures with loving compassion – bring to humanity’s night the light of dawn."

— Darshan Singh, from, Jadah-e Nur (Pathway of Light), Love’s Last Madness, the new expanded edition, 2018

From my article, The Oldest Veg & Vegan Quotes on Earth:

Jesus, Luke 21:34, from a Syriac-Aramaic manuscript of the Gospels;

Prohibition against killing... from the Surangama Sutra of the Buddha;

Porphyry On Being Vegan: Porphyry, a 3rd century AD Neo-Platonist philosopher, in, On Abstinence from Beings with a Soul;

Also See: The Vegan and Vegetarian Section of the Sant Mat Radhasoami E Library: https://santmatradhasoami.blogspot.com/2019/01/vegan-and-vegetarian-ahimsa-non_8.html

Oldest Veg and Vegan Quotes on Earth: https://medium.com/sant-mat-meditation-and-spirituality/oldest-veg-and-vegan-quotes-on-earth-9230aaca7620

Be Vegan, Make Peace: “From Crisis To Peace: The Organic Vegan Way is the Answer” — The Vegan Solution to Save the World; Organic Veganism to Heal the Planet: http://www.crisis2peace.org/download/download_pdf.php?file=From%20Crisis%20to%20Peace%20Organic%20vegan%20way%20is%20the%20answer%20agosto%2020151105%20(low).pdf

#Vegan #Vegetarian #Spirituality #Oumuamua #LaoTzu #DarshanSingh #LovesLastMadness #SantDarshanSingh #JadaheNur #ChuangTzu #SantNamdev #Sandhya #BookOfPrayers #Kabir #SantMat #Radhasoami #Gnostic #Porphyry #NeoPlatonism #Platonism #HymnOfThePearl #OnAbstinencefromBeingswithaSoul #Gnosticism #Gnosis #Meditation #Sufism #Sant_Mat #Satsang #Sants #SantMatSatsang #संतमत #राधास्वमी #संतमतराधास्वमी #SantMatRadhasoami #RSFaith #RS #RadhasoamiFaith #SuratShabdYoga #Radha_Soami #Radha_Soami #BeVeganMakePeace #SupremeMasterChingHai #QuanYinMethod #ShurangamaSutra #Ahimsa #SurangamaSutra #Buddha #Buddhism #Radhaswami #SantMatSatsangPodcast #JamesBean #SpiritualAwakeningRadio #Podcasts #SpiritualTalks #SpiritualPodcasts #SpiritualRadio #PathOfTheMasters

11 notes · View notes

trackra · 5 years

Photo

RULES ✦ ABOUT & VERSES ✦ CONTACT

Bloodhound is known across the Outlands as one of the greatest game hunters the Frontier has ever seen. The child of two engineers stationed at the New Dawn industrial plant on Talos, Bloodhound was taken in by their uncle Artur after a meltdown destroyed the facility and killed both their parents. Artur taught them the Old Ways, a belief system that focuses on the glory of nature and rejects modern technology. Yet Bloodhound was constantly drawn to technological marvels, and ultimately used both new and old methods to take down a Goliath that preyed on the people of their village, forever changing their life’s path.

Bloodhound’s unparalleled tracking skills are a boon to any team they join, helping them root out hidden opponents and track enemy movements. Calling on Earth’s Old Norse Gods to guide them, Bloodhound believes that destiny is a path that has already been laid out, eventually carrying all to their death. But with that knowledge comes strength, because until that day comes, Bloodhound knows they can’t be stopped. ➷

CANON UNIVERSES

00. BEFORE THE GAMES ✦ WAYWARD WINDS.

Bloodhound is part of a greater group of hunters that occupy the abandoned planet Talos. This verse predates the present Apex Legends timeline; set during the events of Bloodhound’s childhood up to their arrival to the Apex Games (including [but not limited to] the events described in Pathfinder’s Quest). Any interactions that take place in this setting require plotting beforehand.

01. APEX LEGENDS, main ✦ TIL VALHALL.

Bloodhound is a veteran competitor in the Apex Games fighting for glory in the name of their fallen friend. This verse is canon-compliant with the present Apex timeline and will be adapted as necessary. Threads and prompts will default to this verse unless plotted otherwise; additionally, any threads that develop and deviate from this setting will be moved to their own alternate universe.

ALTERNATE UNIVERSES

02. TWINVERSE ✦ BLOOD OF MY BLOOD.

to be summarized. This verse is written exclusively with honorrwolf.

03. POST-APEX ✦ TO BE TAGGED. TW for mentions of animal death

After the death of their raven marks a turning point in their life, Bloodhound takes a hiatus from the Apex Games to do some soul searching. This verse requires heavy plotting.

04. TITAN PILOT ✦ TRIAL BY FIRE | WIP.

Bloodhound would pilot a Tone titan. You can’t change my mind. This verse is still in development.

05. MODERN ✦ TO THINGS THAT HOWL | WIP.

This verse will take place in the year 2021 in a real-world/Earth setting. This verse is still in development.

06. DESTINY ✦ THE RAVEN’S CODE | WIP.

Bloodhound is a mobility-based hunter who spends a greater part of their time prowling old Earth wildlands. Not much is known about them, but there is a rumor going around about them having taken part in the Great Ahamkara Hunt. This verse is still in development.

07. DRAGON AGE ✦ TO BE TAGGED.

This verse is still in development.

#mobile about #mobile verses

1 note · View note

dailyaudiobible · 6 years

Text

01/04/2019 DAB Transcript

Genesis 8:1-10:32, Matthew 4:12-25, Psalms 4:1-8, Proverbs 1:20-23

Today is the 4th day of January. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I’m Brian. It is great to be here with you for our 4th step of 365 steps that will take us all the way through the Bible. So, if we just keep doing what we’re doing and getting together like this every day we’ll go through the entire Bible this year as a community, which is what we've been doing successfully for the last 13 years. So, this is our 14th time that we've come to January 4th. So, let’s dive in, we’ve been, like I said at the beginning of the year, we’re kind of moving into this year and kind of getting comfortable and finding our way and our space and what's going on here. And, so, we’ve been talking about the different books that we've begun. Like, we began the book of Genesis in the Old Testament, we began the book of Matthew in the New Testament. So, we’ve talked about those books. We talked about Psalms yesterday. And, so, when we get to the Proverbs reading we'll talk about Proverbs and then we’ll be moved in, we’ll be moved in at least into the books that we’re reading until we reach a new book. So, from the Christian Standard Bible, which is what we’re reading this week, Genesis chapter 8 verse 1 through 10 verse 32.

Introduction to Proverbs:

Okay. So, we’ve come to the book of Proverbs and this is the last book we need to kind of move into and understand what we’re reading about until we come to a new book, like I said at the beginning. The Proverbs...we need to fall in love with the Proverbs because it is an invaluable book of ancient wisdom, but not because it ancient. It's wisdom that has stood the test of time and it's practical and it has been practical to the human experience for thousands of years. So, this is the wisdom of the ages. And, so, we should have a relationship with that, we should get to know it because it will instruct our lives as we move through this year without a doubt. So, in the structure of the Old Testament, which is where Proverbs is located, Proverbs is the main book in what is called the collection of wisdom literature. And the other books in the wisdom literature would be Ecclesiastes, Job and part of Psalms. And these portions of Scripture are called wisdom literature because they're more intended to speak a direct lesson rather than be a narrative where the reader follows a story and then kind of gleans the meaning from the outcome of the story, which is how much of the Bible is. The wisdom literature speaks directly to what it's trying to teach and most of the Proverbs are attributed to the great wise man and King, Solomon, although there are a couple of other voices involved that lend their wisdom to the Proverbs. And it seems that the Proverbs may have been collected all along but weren’t really put into a collection until the time of around Hezekiah who was also a king. And most scholars think that some of the Proverbs could even predate Solomon and they were a series of oral traditions or oral wisdom that have been handed down. And we each have oral wisdom in our lives, things our parents told us, things that our grandparents told us, but this would've been wisdom that was wide-spread and it had been handed down from generation to generation and then finding its place into a collection Proverbs. So, Proverbs obviously is in the Bible, so it obviously has religious connotations in everything that it says and the first part of the book is the wisdom of God speaking in first person directly to the reader in a feminine voice that is identified as the voice of wisdom, which is what we're hearing. Now that we’re four days into this, this is war hearing now. And Proverbs addresses the human experience and it transfers direct wisdom to what we, as human beings, experience both in our interpersonal relationships with each other, in our relationship with God, in our relationship with ourselves, what's going on inside of us and it gives us the ultimate roadmap to life. It is truly the ultimate book of wisdom and the greatest collection of wisdom that mankind has. Whatever you do, the book of Proverbs tells us, whatever you do get wisdom because wisdom is more valuable than anything else. If you have wisdom everything else can be achieved and the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. So, I mean even that little...like that's two sentences right…there so much there that we can meditate on it all day long. That's how potent the book of Proverbs is. And, so, with that said, Proverbs chapter 1 verses 20 through 23 today.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for another day in it. We thank You for…I mean…we’re covering some serious ground in these first few days as we just set sail and as we continue to move out into the deep, we can already feel You drawing us in. Some of us are intrigued. We’ve never really read the Bible before. We know some of the Bible stories but we’ve never read any of it in its context, we've never actually read the stories from the Bible, we’ve just heard them our whole lives. Some of us are becoming intrigued and even falling in love with other portions of the Bible that we've never really experienced before, maybe the book of Psalms, or maybe the potency of the book of Proverbs has just never really dawned on us, that we could turn to this one book with 31 chapters in it that will tell us everything we need to know about how to deal with just about every situation we will ever encounter in our human lives. And, so, we see that there's a lot more to this story than maybe what we thought and this book that we thought was so difficult to understand and so unapproachable all these years even though we've believed that our eternity is based upon what is taught in this book, maybe it's not so unapproachable after all. Maybe what we're finding is a true friend, a friend that will speak the truth to us only and never lie to us. And, so, Holy Spirit, come, plant the words that we’ve read from Your word into our lives this day and every day as we move forward, that we submit ourselves to this discipline, we commit ourselves to taking this step day by day, every single day of this year. And we look forward to all that You will speak to us, all that You will reveal to us, and all that You will change within us because of this rhythm. Come Holy Spirit we pray in the name of Jesus we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, its where you find out what's going on around here. So, like I have said every day of this year and like I will say every day of this year, stay connected. And this is one of the places to find out what's going on. All the links to everywhere that you can interact can be found at dailyaudiobible.com. Now, we just talked about the book of Proverbs. And, so, one of the other things that I should mention as we’re moving into this year is the companion programs to the Daily Audio Bible, the sister programs that exist as additional resources to help you immerse herself in a relationship with the Bible. And a couple of those would be the Daily Audio Bible Psalm and Daily Audio Bible, Proverbs. And, obviously, your listening to the Daily Audio Bible and what we’re doing in community here is moving our way through the entire Bible, which will include Psalms and Proverbs, but we've also created Daily Audio Bible Psalm and Daily Audio Bible Proverb as companions. You know, maybe your big meal of the day, spiritually, is been listening to the Daily Audio Bible, but you need a snack, you need…like you need to immerse yourself in this and these companions would be great. Daily Audio Bible Psalms is simply going through the book of Psalms as we do on the Daily Audio Bible but it's only the Psalms, and we switch translations every day and you can just move through the Psalms, takes about five minutes a day for you to get some more of the Psalms into your heart and mind. Daily Audio Bible Proverb goes through the entire book of Proverbs in a month. There's 31 chapters and so we read a chapter a day. Some of the days…or some of the months…we don't get to Proverbs 31, but the idea is a chapter a day and this takes two minutes…two minutes a day invested every day of this year and you will be pouring the unfiltered wisdom that has stood the test of time throughout all of recorded history and is thought to be one of the greatest pieces of literature of mankind and can you pour this into your life in a couple of minutes a day. And then when you actually need wisdom you will have wisdom because you're in a relationship with wisdom and wisdom is speaking to you every day. Two minutes a day, like a pretty good deal since that's all you have to invest is a couple of minutes of your day. So Daily Audio Bible Proverbs is a great companion when you’re listening to Daily Audio Bible at night or in the morning or on your way to work or at lunch or whatever you do…you know…that’s your rhythm, you set and establish that rhythm and then you find another place for two more minutes to pour wisdom into your life and watch what it does when you do. Of course, Daily Audio Bible Psalms, and Proverbs aren't the only companions. There are many ways to go about this. My daughter China, whose been reading along, reading the Bible for the last 10 years, this is her 11th year. So, since she was 10 years old she's been reading the Bible every day and she went through Daily Audio Bible kids and then she launched Daily Audio Bible teen and then she wasn’t a teen anymore and so she's kind of grown into her calling, which is Daily Audio Bible Chronological, going through the Bible chronologically in a year. So, in the order in time that things happened. From the Daily Audio Bible, from what we’re doing here, we’re doing Psalms, you know, Proverbs we’re doing Old Testament, we’re doing New Testament, we’re moving through and we certainly place a high premium on context but the Daily Audio Bible chronological goes through the Bible in the order that happened in time. There’s also Daily Audio Bible Kids. So, going through the New Testament by kids for kids. It’s great for on the way to school, it’s great for bedtime. Check it out. And there's Daily Audio Bible Teen. So, through the New Testament for teens by teens. There is Daily Audio Bible in Española. So, if Spanish is your native language there is a whole community that has been doing this for nearly a decade now every day in Spanish just like we do at the Daily Audio Bible and they have also the Proverbios. So, Proverbs in Spanish or Psalms in Spanish just like we have in English. If Japanese is your native tongue, then you can go through the New Testament with the Japanese team or Arabic through the Bible in Arabic or through the Bible in French. And our French team has mimicked what we do at Daily Audio Bible, going through the Bible in a year in French but they also Proverbaes. So, they also have Provers in French or Psalms…sorry I don’t speak French...so sorry for you French folks. That's why we have brothers and sisters who are passionate about their native language. So that's available in French. We also have Daily Audio Bible Portuguese and Chinese. So, you can check out all of those channels if those are your native tongue's, but if I English is your native language then certainly encouraging you. You have the Daily Audio Bible, but the Proverbs and the Psalms are also available. So, three times a day you can kind of go to the word and put it in your life without...I mean…you can do all of this in the time that you’re gonna waste listening to other kinds of entertainment. So, maybe focusing on your spiritual life this year is gonna radically transform some things and these are some of the resources that are available.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There is a link that’s on the homepage. I thank you profoundly. We are a community, and this is a community experience and what we've done for this, these 13 complete years and now into our 14th, what we've done we've done together and that we’re here because we've done this together. And, so thank you for your partnership. If you're using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment, 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'm gonna keep telling you that. And those of you that have been around, you know I'm gonna keep telling you that because I know that some of you, this is the only time you’re gonna hear it today. And I’m gonna keep telling you that until maybe you believe it. You are not alone on this journey. You are loved, and we've been a community who has loved each other well. So, that's it for today and I am Brian and I do love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

This is Chris from South Carolina and I just want to say…just reach out and say thank you to the DAB family, to Brian and Jill and his family for this wonderful ministry. I found this at the beginning of the year and this is my first full year and I have faithfully listened to this every single day and it has given me comfort during a very hard time this year. And I called in a couple of times asking for prayer requests for my marriage. I continue to ask for prayer for my marriage. I’ve been married for 30 years now. We are separated and I’m just…just praying that God would just restore my family and restore my marriage and I just want to say that this is a wonderful ministry and I have enjoyed it so much and I am wishing everyone a happy new year and for great blessings to come within the 2019 year. I am looking for great things to continue to happen. So, God bless everyone and thank you very much. Goodbye.

Hi Daily Audio Bible, this is Rebecca from Michigan, I know I haven’t called in a long time, it’s December 29th and December 24th I had to put my dog down because her heartbeat was 40 and they’re supposed to be 120 and she had fluid building up in her lungs and fluid going in her tummy…stomach…and I think she’s was dying. Anyway, she was 12 going on 13 and I just cried my eyes out because that was my walking buddy, my friend. So, this year I just want God to bless me with new friends, A new friend that will make my heart strings fly, give me the closeness to the Lord. I want to find me a walking friend because that’s what my dog did for me, she was my walking buddy and know people, they’re not the same as a dog but I really don’t necessarily need another dog. I just want some new friends, I want a new friend even if it’s a boyfriend, a girlfriend, I don’t care, but I just want some friends that I can hang out with that are godly Christian people because I’m single and a lot of the churches, they kind of don’t pay attention to the singles. I’m usually sitting by myself in church. So, I just want some friends. Please, ask God to bless me with some godly Christian friends. That would be awesome even if I have to get a non-Christian friend to introduce them to DAB, that would be great.

Hello Daily Audio Bible family, this is my first time calling but I’ve been listening for years. I am specifically calling in response to Yvonne in Chicago who left plea for prayer on 11 November for God’s direction and her obedience for that direction. Yvonne, I heard your prayer and I am praying for you. Your call resonated with me because I’m Yvonne from Tampa and our stories are similar. I too went through a divorce many years ago and I went through a major career path change as well. I currently have a godly man for a mate and my career path change has turned out better than I expected. I just wanted to encourage you sister, our God is so good and even if His answers are as we expected or desired His plan is so much better than ours. As I lift up your circumstances I just wanted you to know that I am playing for you daily. Please call back and let us know how things have transpired and how God is working in your life. I listen daily and I pray for the DABbers regularly. Thank you, Brian for this wonderful podcast and for all of the people behind the scenes that put together this platform. It has changed my life and I know so many others. This is Yvonne or EV for short from Tampa. God, bless.

Hello this is Sherry from Kansas, I did not hear the program Brian said that the word for the year was to “Maintain” or “Maintain” and when I heard that from a friend my heart sunk because I thought, oh know, that means were not going anywhere, we’re not going to move from where we are, but I looked at the definition of maintain from Merriam-Webster and it’s really strong. It’s a much more strong word and I thought it was. It means, number one to keep in an existing state, to preserve from failure or decline. Number two to sustain against opposition or danger, to uphold and defend. Number three, my favorite, to continue or persevere in, carry on, keep up. Four, to support or provide for, to sustain. And number five, to affirm in or, as if in an argument, to assert or to take a stand. And I realize that my position in Christ where I am, all of these apply to this. I need to make sure that I preserve from failure or decline. I have to sustain it against opposition or danger and I have to uphold and defend. I have to continue and persevere in, I have to carry on, I have to keep up, and I have to take a stand and assert what I believe in and what my righteousness in Christ and my position in Christ stands for. So, I just wanted to say, good word, the word “Maintain” and it is something that we need to meditate on and focus on the coming year. And thank you Brian for that word. Bye.

Hi, this is Paul in Kansas. I’m just listening to the 30 December broadcast and I heard Sharon Victorious, asking for prayer. Sharon is grieving and feeling alone, and she wonders if she can make it. Father, I lift up Sharon to You and I ask that You would comfort her and sustain her in her grieving. I pray that Your Holy Spirit would fill her and that Your love would fill her and drive out all of her feelings of hopelessness. I ask that Your love would fully invade her being and drive all the harmful things that she has been thinking. Lord, please give Sharon hope, please let her she how much we all love her and deemed her. In Jesus name. Amen.

3 notes · View notes

arch-wistcrias · 6 years

Photo

BELOW IS ALL YOU MAY NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SHAHRZAD AL-KHAYZURAN, A CANON CHARACTER FROM THE WRATH & THE DAWN DUOLOGY.

INTRODUCTION.

FULL NAME: Shahrzad al-Khayzuran NICKNAMES: Shazi ALIASES: The Calipha of Khorasan AGE: 16-22 DATE OF BIRTH: April 19th BIRTHPLACE: Rey ( similar to Nishapur ), Khorasan, Persia ( modern: Oxford, England ) SEX/GENDER: cis-female RELIGION: mazdayasna / zoroastrianism ( modern: islam ) ORIENTATION: heterosexual ETHNICITY: iranian OCCUPATION: actual queen ( modern: writer ) LANGUAGES: old persian, english ( modern: turkish, farsi, english and basic french and arabic ) FAMILY: Irsa Al-Khayzuran ( sister, alive ), Jahandar Al-Khayzuran ( father, deceased ), Khalid Ibn al-Rashid ( husband, alive ), Haroun Ibn Khalid ( son, alive )

APPEARANCE.

HEIGHT: 5′8″ WEIGHT: 125lbs BUILD: she is tall, with an average build. COMPLEXION: golden, but more on the bronze side. she spends a lot of time in the sun and her skin soaks it up beautifully. being the Calipha she is also bathed in goat’s milk and uses rose oil to keep her skin soft and youthful, as well as rosewater to keep her skin bright. EYE COLOR: as Calipha her hazel eyes are lined in kohl, but she does not usually bother with it day to day. modernly, she wears brown pencil liner a lot more. HAIR COLOR & STYLE: her hair is wavy and shiny as Calipha. occasionally decorated with jewels, she uses raw olive oil to allow it to grow thick and healthy. her hair is described as having “gleamed like polished obsidian”, though in the sunlight it’s a dark brown. day to day, it tends to lie on the wild side, described as “vagabond hair”. it normally also smells like lilacs and rain, and sometimes olive oil and jasmine. in the second novel it’s cruedly shorn by the enemy’s guards, and falls to her shoulders in varying lengths. it grows back to her waist-length after, though. NOTICEABLE FEATURES: the knowing smirk usually on her face. the way she carries herself with “poise and strength”. her “impudent” chin. AESTHETICS & STYLE: damascus prints. sandy footprints. rubies and lapis lazuli and gold chains hanging down middle-parted hair or around a sun-soaked stomach. bejewelled daggers. black tea. fragranced lamps. golden coins. apple-scented smoke ( of the hookah / water pipe ). sugared dates. honeyed nuts. dried apricots. henna-ed hands, and its earthy scent. dried blood. FC: Medalion Rahimi

HEALTH.

PHYSICAL DISORDERS: n/a MENTAL DISORDERS: n/a EATING HABITS: Shahrzad has a taste for decadent foods. she adores labnah and flat bread and jewelled rice, but has a fast metabolism ( that lucky bitch ). she regularly snacks on dates and pistachios, and drinks a lot of jasmine water, and water in general to stay hydrated. roast pigeon is her favorite food as a child, though not the most royal of dishes. ( modern Shahrzad lives for rice pudding and bastani [ saffron vanilla ice cream, usually with rosewater ]. she can’t stand the taste of maple syrup, however, since she used to it all the time as a kid and eventually grew to hate it, gagging whenever it hits her tongue. now she eats her pancakes with jam and nothing else. ) EXERCISE HABIT: running. often. it helps her clear her mind. sparring as well, but what burns a lot of calories and keeps her fit is actually using her powers as it takes more physical exertion than what one might expect.

PERSONALITY.

POSITIVE TRAITS: inquisitive, strong-minded, courageous, enduring NEGATIVE TRAITS: insolent, impatient, one-dimensional TALENTS: storytelling, archery ( never needs to use the guides or aims ), staring people down ZODIAC: Aries ( Taurus cusp ) HOGWARTS HOUSE: Gryffindor ( but a total hatstall because she could have been Ravenclaw ) NOTE: based heavily on Al-Khayzuran, an important figure in Iranian history. Like, it’s so obvious lmao. Scheherazade was said to be based off of her, and the stories based off of Harun ( as in Haroun, Shahrzad’s son ). "The histories do not detail Khayzuran's political achievements, but coins were struck in her name, palaces were named for her, and the cemetery in which subsequent Abbasid rulers were laid to rest carries her name, all testifying not only to status but also to civic largesse." Such as is Shahrzad’s legacy.

ABOUT.

A magic-infused retelling of 1001 nights. IDR really remember a lot bc I need to reread so I could be mixing some things up.

Basically Shahrzad’s best friend was killed by the Caliph ( king ) of Khorason. What she doesn’t know is that there is a curse upon the boy-king, Khalid, that he must marry and kill a girl of 16 every day for a 1000 nights for the curse to be lifted, or else the kingdom won’t have another night of rain again. Shahrzad volunteers to be the next girl to be wed and then killed, but she tricks Khalid by telling him stories that overspill into the dawn, and he is so bewitched by her that he resists killing her until eventually they have both fallen in love with one another.

Shahrzad’s father meanwhile dabbles in dark magic in an attempt to save her. The kingdom goes up in flame. Shahrzad and Khalid are torn apart after she finds out the reason behind the girls’ murders. Basically Shahrzad also finds out she has the same powers as her father and learns to harvest and train them while she is living with the badawi tribes outside of Khorason. Meanwhile the ruler of Parthia, a kingdom adjacent to Khorason is trying to kill Khalid and that’s just a mess.

A lot of shit happens tbh, but obviously Shahrzad and Khalid live happily ever after ( although, her father did kill him and then gave up his life in return for Khalid’s after seeing how devastated Shahrzad was ) and they have a son they name Haroun. Also, she totally has a magic carpet.

VERSES.

01. Canon ( compliant with most fantasy settings, such as acotar, game of thrones, tolkien, etc. ) 02. Canon Divergent / TVD-inspired ( instead of being a human-witch/magician, she is an immortal-witch/magician [ able to be killed, but otherwise lives forever ] and outlives Khalid, going on to become a nomad of sorts, travelling from country to country ). 03. Modern ( Shahrzad’s father deals in translating old Persian texts and is part of the international federation of librarian associations and institutions. She’s lived in Turkey, England, Lebanon ( briefly ) and New York. Well read, and well travelled, she was published at the age of fifteen and by the age of twenty has three published novels as well as two poetry anthologies. She’s also been named one of Time’s most influential figures, and Vanity Fair’s 30 under 30. Her father tries to keep their Iranian heritage going strong, but Shahrzad barely remembers it during her adolescence. She goes to college in NYU, and She ends up going back when she’s graduated college, working with women there to publish a third poetry anthology specifically about the modern Iranian women’s experiences. ) 04. DC / Marvel / All Supernatural Verses ( Shahrzad has a gift: she writes stories and they come true, and it runs in her family. ) 05. OUAT ( Shahrzad is the new Author of the stories. ) 06. Harry Potter 07. Grishaverse ( Shahrzad collects the stories from the language of thorns, and publishes them; she travels searching for more folktales, as well as writes her own )

#religion may change because #renee doesn't go into detail #i might have to DM her about it tbh #because shahrzad never refers to 'the gods' only despina and i think someone else do #so idk #it may change #it's hard bc the aus also like it's hard to figure out how her religion fits in but #i'll figure it out #im so proud of this though i put SO much thought into my characterization of her modern story #god #stats #about: shahrzad al-khayzuran

2 notes · View notes

dailyofficereadings · 3 years

Text

Daily Office Readings May 01, 2021

Psalm 119:137-160

137 You are righteous, O Lord, and your judgments are right. 138 You have appointed your decrees in righteousness and in all faithfulness. 139 My zeal consumes me because my foes forget your words. 140 Your promise is well tried, and your servant loves it. 141 I am small and despised, yet I do not forget your precepts. 142 Your righteousness is an everlasting righteousness, and your law is the truth. 143 Trouble and anguish have come upon me, but your commandments are my delight. 144 Your decrees are righteous forever; give me understanding that I may live.

145 With my whole heart I cry; answer me, O Lord. I will keep your statutes. 146 I cry to you; save me, that I may observe your decrees. 147 I rise before dawn and cry for help; I put my hope in your words. 148 My eyes are awake before each watch of the night, that I may meditate on your promise. 149 In your steadfast love hear my voice; O Lord, in your justice preserve my life. 150 Those who persecute me with evil purpose draw near; they are far from your law. 151 Yet you are near, O Lord, and all your commandments are true. 152 Long ago I learned from your decrees that you have established them forever.

153 Look on my misery and rescue me, for I do not forget your law. 154 Plead my cause and redeem me; give me life according to your promise. 155 Salvation is far from the wicked, for they do not seek your statutes. 156 Great is your mercy, O Lord; give me life according to your justice. 157 Many are my persecutors and my adversaries, yet I do not swerve from your decrees. 158 I look at the faithless with disgust, because they do not keep your commands. 159 Consider how I love your precepts; preserve my life according to your steadfast love. 160 The sum of your word is truth; and every one of your righteous ordinances endures forever.

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Job 23:1-12

Job Replies: My Complaint Is Bitter

23 Then Job answered:

2 “Today also my complaint is bitter;[a] his[b] hand is heavy despite my groaning. 3 Oh, that I knew where I might find him, that I might come even to his dwelling! 4 I would lay my case before him, and fill my mouth with arguments. 5 I would learn what he would answer me, and understand what he would say to me. 6 Would he contend with me in the greatness of his power? No; but he would give heed to me. 7 There an upright person could reason with him, and I should be acquitted forever by my judge.

8 “If I go forward, he is not there; or backward, I cannot perceive him; 9 on the left he hides, and I cannot behold him; I turn[c] to the right, but I cannot see him. 10 But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I shall come out like gold. 11 My foot has held fast to his steps; I have kept his way and have not turned aside. 12 I have not departed from the commandment of his lips; I have treasured in[d] my bosom the words of his mouth.

Footnotes:

Job 23:2 Syr Vg Tg: Heb rebellious

Job 23:2 Gk Syr: Heb my

Job 23:9 Syr Vg: Heb he turns

Job 23:12 Gk Vg: Heb from

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

John 1:43-51

Jesus Calls Philip and Nathanael

43 The next day Jesus decided to go to Galilee. He found Philip and said to him, “Follow me.” 44 Now Philip was from Bethsaida, the city of Andrew and Peter. 45 Philip found Nathanael and said to him, “We have found him about whom Moses in the law and also the prophets wrote, Jesus son of Joseph from Nazareth.” 46 Nathanael said to him, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” Philip said to him, “Come and see.” 47 When Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him, he said of him, “Here is truly an Israelite in whom there is no deceit!” 48 Nathanael asked him, “Where did you get to know me?” Jesus answered, “I saw you under the fig tree before Philip called you.” 49 Nathanael replied, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!” 50 Jesus answered, “Do you believe because I told you that I saw you under the fig tree? You will see greater things than these.” 51 And he said to him, “Very truly, I tell you,[a] you will see heaven opened and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of Man.”

Footnotes:

John 1:51 Both instances of the Greek word for you in this verse are plural

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

Psalm 139

The Inescapable God

To the leader. Of David. A Psalm.

1 O Lord, you have searched me and known me. 2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from far away. 3 You search out my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways. 4 Even before a word is on my tongue, O Lord, you know it completely. 5 You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is so high that I cannot attain it.

7 Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. 9 If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, 10 even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me fast. 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light around me become night,” 12 even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is as bright as the day, for darkness is as light to you.

13 For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; that I know very well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes beheld my unformed substance. In your book were written all the days that were formed for me, when none of them as yet existed. 17 How weighty to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 I try to count them—they are more than the sand; I come to the end[a]—I am still with you.

19 O that you would kill the wicked, O God, and that the bloodthirsty would depart from me— 20 those who speak of you maliciously, and lift themselves up against you for evil![b] 21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord? And do I not loathe those who rise up against you? 22 I hate them with perfect hatred; I count them my enemies. 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. 24 See if there is any wicked[c] way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.[d]

Footnotes:

Psalm 139:18 Or I awake

Psalm 139:20 Cn: Meaning of Heb uncertain

Psalm 139:24 Heb hurtful

Psalm 139:24 Or the ancient way. Compare Jer 6.16

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

John 12:20-26

Some Greeks Wish to See Jesus

20 Now among those who went up to worship at the festival were some Greeks. 21 They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and said to him, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” 22 Philip went and told Andrew; then Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus. 23 Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. 24 Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. 25 Those who love their life lose it, and those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26 Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there will my servant be also. Whoever serves me, the Father will honor.

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

#May 01 #2021

0 notes

dalyunministry · 4 years

Text

Pas. Johnraj Lamech

💗

Greetings in the matchless Name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Topic: Faith Life : Part 01 “Commencement of Faith Life”

Rhema Word (1): Habakkuk 2:4(b) (NKJV) “The just shall live by his faith.”

Rhema Word (2): Romans 1:17 (NKJV) “For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “The just shall live by faith.”

Let’s pray. Our Gracious Loving Father, thank you for giving us an opportunity to meditate your Word today. Thank you Holy Spirit for helping us to understand your Words which are living and active. Please help us to live a life as per your Word Lord. Father, we give all the Glory and Honour to you. We pray in the mighty Name of your beloved Son Jesus Christ. Amen.

Faith is the foundation of Christian life. The importance attached to this truth about faith is made obvious by its emphatic recurrence in three of the New Testament Epistles. There are three key verses, which enlighten the message this truth imparts.

(i) Romans 1:17 “For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “The just shall live by faith.”

(ii) Galatians 3:11 “But that no one is justified by the law in the sight of God is evident, for “the just shall live by faith.”

(iii) Hebrews 10:38 “Now the just shall live by faith; But if anyone draws back, My soul has no pleasure in him.”

The Epistle to Romans talks about the Commencement of the Christian Faith Life. The Letter to the Galatians deals with the problems we face in the course of the Christian Life, and that to the Hebrews pictures the successful Completion of the Christian Life/Race. Yes, The COMMENCEMENT, the CONTINUATION and the CONSUMMATION of faith life!

Let us meditate these three stages of Faith Life, under the light of the Word and with the guidance of the Holy Spirit in next three week-ends starting from today. Today, let us meditate upon the foundation, The Commencement of the Christian Faith Life

In the contemporary spiritual commotion, believers are tossed to and fro with every wind of strange and diverse doctrines. And we need to be educated about living the faith life in order to survive the sleights of Satan. I sincerely pray that this life changing truth may dawn on us with its full significance. Let our unbelief be destroyed and forts of faith be built!

Let us try to understand about “Commencement of Faith Life” under following five aspects:

1] Faith the Prerequisite

2] Why Failures?

3] Simple Faith

4] Adulterated Gospel

5] Man’s Responsibility

1] Faith the prerequisite :

For a life to be approved by God, faith is the basic requirement. There is nothing that can be a substitute for faith. Traditions cannot be an alternative. Religious practices cannot replace it. We revere God. We pray often. We are regular Church-goers. We are well spoken of by our fellow believers for our pious living. In short, we are doing our best to live Christians life, and the world certifies that we are “Good Christians”, But, “Without faith it is impossible to please God” (Hebrews 11:6) It is possible to be engaged in all Christian activities and yet be out of favour with God. Without faith there is no way. Here are few examples from the Scriptures:

(a) Adam & Eve

Adam and Eve were originally a holy pair. Shortly after their creation they had to quit the place where God Himself had put them. But why? Why were they banished from Eden? Why was God so particular about such a trivial thing as eating a mere fruit? It seems to be too awful a consequence for so small a sin. But if we look deeply into the matter, we may discern their grace error which led to that grievous end.

God created and placed them in an exceedingly beautiful garden, the Eden. They lived in perpetual dependence on God and enjoyed perfect bliss. But they could continue in that happy estate only on a condition. The condition that their Creator laid down was this: And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” (Genesis 2:16-17)

The tree of knowledge had been made a test of their faith and obedience. It was then that the unwanted intruder came on the scene and asked Eve, “Has God indeed said, you shall not eat of every tree of the garden? (Gen 3:1). He questioned the very Word of God. Alas! Eve began to distrust God’s love and doubt His wisdom. She DISBELIEVED the words of God for whom it was impossible to lie (Hebrews 6:8) and believed the lie of the liar (John 8:44). They became outcast from the garden of Eden. The first sin of our first parents is failure to believe God’s Word. Yes, unbelief is the sin of sins.

(b) Moses & Aaron

Have you ever once stopped to think why Moses and Aaron were denied admission into the Promised Land? God spoke to Moses face to face as a man speaks to his friend. The Bible says, “There has not arisen in Israel a prophet like Moses” (Deut 34:10). God testified that Moses was a faithful servant in all His house (Hebrews 3:2). Aaron was also no less than Moses. God once said to Moses, “Aaron, your brother, shall be your prophet.” He was called and anointed to be a high priest. Through both of them, God smote the Egyptians with plagues and redeemed the Israelites from bondage. But at one stage, the same God denied them what once He promised! What was God’s reason? God said in Deuteronomy 32:51, ”Because you trespassed against Me among the children of Israel at the waters of Meribah Kadesh, in the Wilderness of Zin, because you did not hallow Me in the midst of the children of Israel..” Trespassed!

In what way ? God told them in Numbers 20:12 ”Because you did not believe Me, to hallow Me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land which I have given them.” God told them to speak to a rock. To them it seemed a folly to speak to a rock. So, Moses struck that rock with the rod. They disbelieved God’s words and incurred His displeasure. Disbelieving is trespassing.

Israelites were God’s elect. Even when they had not known their Lord, He called them and named them. He delighted in being called, “The God of Israel,” “The Holy One of Israel,” “The Redeemer of Israel” and so on. Yes, He carried them on His shoulders as a father. But did they enter that promised land? Why couldn’t they possess their possessions? On their way, in the wilderness, Israelites became idolaters, committed fornication, tested God and murmured against Him. But the main reason the Bible gives for their failure is this: ”They could not enter in because of UNBELIEF” (Heb 3:19). Unbelief was the deadliest of all their sins.

Let us see some positive examples, as well:

(d) Paul & Silas:

Faithful proclamation of the risen Christ as the Lord and the Saviour took Paul and Silas to the innermost of dungeons. The two peculiar prisoners were prepared for everything. They met the persecution with a spirit of praise and prayer. Whether or not their hymns moved their fellow-prisoners’ hearts, we are not sure. But their praise did move the Roman prison! Following a great earthquake, the foundations of the prison were shaken, all the doors were opened and everyone’s chains were loosened. All these brought the Philippian Jailor on to his knees. Yes, he fell down trembling before Paul and Silas and cried, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” (Acts 16:30).

What do you think was the reply? Paul did not attempt to deliver a sermon on Salvation. Nor did he make him recite a long prayer of confession! He could answer the thirsty soul in one sentence, and I should say, it was the only possible answer that God Himself could have given the jailor: ”BELIEVE on the LORD JESUS CHRIST, and you will be SAVED” (Acts 16:31).

Remember, hundreds of thousands of people today ask the same question that the Jailor asked. “What must I do to be saved?” This is the throbbing of their hearts. They visit places of pilgrimage, one after another, hoping to get their sins washed off by holy baths. But there is only one way! “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved!”

(e) The Lord Jesus:

The Bible says in John 6:28-29 “Then they said to Him, “What shall we do, that we may work the works of God?” Jesus answered and said to them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He sent.”. During His earthly ministry Jesus went about healing the sick and setting free the demon-possessed. The disciples had the opportunity to accompany Him wherever He went and to be the eye-witnesses of all that He said and did.

The blind received sight, the lame and crippled rose up and walked, the lepers were cleansed, the deaf heart and the dead were raised up. The disciples wanted such miracles to be wrought by their hands. They approached Him asking “What shall we do that we might work the works of God?”. They might have expected Him to set up a ministry and teach them the means and methods of performing miracles. To their disappointment, He replied, ”This is the work of God, that you BELIEVE in HIM whom HE sent.” Simple words but profound truth!

(f) The Holy Spirit:

Speaking about the Holy Spirit, Jesus said in John 16:8-11 ”And when He has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment: of sin, because they do not believe in Me; of righteousness, because I go to My Father and you see Me no more; of judgment, because the ruler of this world is judged.” Please note, it is “SIN” and not “SINS”. This sin of sins is referred to in the very next verse: “Because they do NOT BELIEVE in ME”.

1 John 5:16-17 talks about the sin unto death and the sin NOT unto death. “If anyone sees his brother sinning a sin which does not lead to death, he will ask, and He will give him life for those who commit sin not leading to death. There is sin leading to death. I do not say that he should pray about that. All unrighteousness is sin, and there is sin not leading to death.” Please note, the “sin leading to death” is nothing but unbelief.

Let me explain. If you pray for a brother or a sister who has sinned in any other way, God will hear your prayers and the person will be forgiven. But, if you pray to God to pardon a man his unbelief and his unwillingness to accept Jesus as Saviour, God can never grant it. Please note, adultery, fornication, murders and idolatry are all devastating sins, but these are not what take us to hell. There will be in hell those who never committed adultery or murder, but all will be UNBELIEVERS. It is terribly true that even those who know nothing of these heinous sins will be there, just because of their UNBELIEF.

(g) Who believes in Him is not condemned:

Jesus said in John 3:18 ”He who BELIEVES in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.” Yes, anyone who takes shelter under the shed blood of Jesus escapes that eternal damnation. He will not perish but will have everlasting life. But the one who does not believe in Jesus will be condemned. No, he is “already” condemned! The unbeliever need not wait for the Dooms Day. He is already doomed. His unbelief has made him a son of hell. Believe or perish!

Remember, faith is supreme in everything that concerns God and man. Every step that draws a human soul nearer to God and every growth is founded on faith.

2] Why Failures?

Instead of putting all our faith and trust in God and finding rest in His promises, we strive and struggle, but all in vain. And we encounter failures right where we are supposed to be progressive.

The history of the Israelites serves us with a good illustration here. The reasons for their failure explain our failures. Theirs was not a triumphant life for two reasons. First, they did not realise the futility of self effort. Secondly, they did not realize the temporariness of the Law.

(i) The futility of Self-effort:

The Law was, in simple words, the Holy God’s righteous and virtuous demands placed on man. When the Israelites heard that what their Lord had commanded them, they all answered in one accord, ”All that the Lord has spoken we will do” (Exodus 24:3). They could not comprehend the claims of the Law on them. They did not understand that the requirements of the Law were of a supreme standard and were beyond their reach. They knew not the cost of obedience. With a spring of enthusiasm they promised, “We will do!”.

Many among us have put great confidence in our undaunted and indomitable will-power. We decidedly move forward but often we are detained. Will-power is the vain religion of the world and Jesus never once advocated this. It is neither by will nor by power that we can run this race of faith (Romans 9:16).

James explains in James 2:8-11, ”If you really fulfil the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbour as yourself,” you do well; but if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors. For whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all. For He who said, “Do not commit adultery,” also said, “Do not murder.” Now if you do not commit adultery, but you do murder, you have become a transgressor of the law.

Remember, whosoever he might be, whatever possible explanations he might give, if he is a keeper of the whole Law and yet failed in one point of the Law, he was guilty of all the sins and was considered the transgressor of the Law. But, when Jesus ministered in this world, He invited the Jews, the keepers of the Law, to the new and the living way. He said in Matthew 11:29 ”Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

Paul confirms in Romans 8:3 ”For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh, that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.”

(ii) The Temporariness of the Law:

The Bible says in Hebrews 7:19, ”The law made nothing perfect; on the other hand, there is the bringing in of a better hope, through which we draw near to God.” Yes, we can say the Law was not given to make man righteous but to convict him of his unrighteousness and convince him of his need of a Saviour. Further, the Bible says in Hebrews 10:1 ”The law, having a shadow of the good things to come, and not the very image of the things, can never with these same sacrifices, which they offer continually year by year, make those who approach perfect.”

Shadow is good. But when the light comes it has to give way. The Law was only a shadow of the better things to come. When Christ Jesus, the Sun of Righteousness, rose to shine in strength the shadow had to give way. Paul says in Colossians 2:17 ”These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ.” Further, Paul gives us a picture of how the shadow was dispelled in Colossians 2:13-16 (a), ”When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having cancelled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; He has taken it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross. Therefore, do not let anyone judge you..”

The Law was the handwriting that was AGAINST us and was CONTRARY to us. The Law made our sin manifest. It was standing on our way and it made hard the possibility of union with God. But Jesus Christ nailed it to the cross and opened the WAY for us, revealed the TRUTH and gave us the LIFE. This new and the living way He opened through the veil, that is, His flesh, His own body (Hebrews 10:20). So none of us is to be judged by the Law. Hallelujah!

Paul further explains in Galatians 3:23-25 ”But before faith came, we were kept under guard by the law, kept for the faith which would afterward be revealed. Therefore, the law was our tutor to bring us to Christ, that we might be justified by faith. But after faith has come, we are no longer under a tutor.” Yes, the Law was a strict guard and a stern tutor. It was not all sufficient in itself and so it has led us to a “better hope” (Heb. 7:19). It had been given to us temporarily till the prophecy about Faith Life came to pass.

The following passages makes it obvious that we are justified by faith and not by the Law.

Paul says in Romans 3:21-22 ”The righteousness of God apart from the law is revealed, being witnessed by the Law and the Prophets, even the righteousness of God, through faith in Jesus Christ, to all and on all who believe.”

Paul says further in Romans 9:30-32 ”What shall we say then? That Gentiles, who did not pursue righteousness, have attained to righteousness, even the righteousness of faith; but Israel, pursuing the law of righteousness, has not attained to the law of righteousness. Why? Because they did not seek it by faith, but as it were, by the works of the law.”

Paul concludes in Romans 3:27-28 ”Where is boasting then? It is excluded. By what law? Of works? No, but by the law of faith. Therefore, we conclude that a man is justified by faith apart from the deeds of the law.” Also Paul confirms in Galatians 3:11 But that no one is justified by the law in the sight of God is evident, for “the just shall live by faith.”

There is neither curse nor condemnation for those who believe in Christ Jesus. That is why Paul says in Romans 8:33-35 ”Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

Yes, it is neither our self-effort nor our self-righteousness that justifies us. We are justified by our faith on the finished work of Christ on Calvary. We may say a thousand times : ”The-just-shall-live-by-faith!”

3] Simple Faith:

The trouble with the Christianity of today is its complexity. With a dogmatic insistence on externalities, the Church is misleading the believers to a mere religious orthodoxy instead of guiding them to the spiritual realm of reality. The Church is diseased with diverse doctrines. Externalism is esteemed as essentiality. Ritualism is reigning in places which are not worthy of the name “Church”. It is most tragic that Salvation by Faith is neither taught nor believed. Paul says in Romans 3:3 ”What if some were unfaithful? Will their unfaithfulness nullify God’s faithfulness?” Truth is forever what it is and God always acts like Himself. There can be NO SHADOW of variance either in God or His Word. Justification by Faith is God’s design and its invariability remains indomitable by the man-made dogmas.

Let us see the lives of three sinner women which can be the greatest examples of the simplest form of faith.

(i) Rahab:

The Bible says in Hebrews 11:31 (NLT), ”It was by faith that Rahab the prostitute was not destroyed with the people in her city who refused to obey God. For she had given a friendly welcome to the spies.”

This Gentile woman’s faith was so wonderful! The two spies from the Lord’s army gave her a line of scarlet cord as a true token of their faithfulness. She trusted in their words, ”and she bound the scarlet cord in the window” (Joshua 2:21). Simply a cord! It shows her simple faith! And that saved her when the city of Jericho was burned to ashes. Yes, God honoured her faith and her name is found registered in the list of the patriarchs of faith. Were there not any better women living in her times? But this woman’s simple faith has got her a place in this Book of Life. The Red Cord typifies the Red Cross. She blended herself with Calvary’s love even thousands of years ago.

(ii) The Samaritan Woman:

This woman who was a harlot by profession discovered that Jesus was Messiah! A simple conversation with the Saviour led to her great conversion. A conversion of heart and life. She perceived that the person she had been talking to was a prophet (John 4:19). That gave her too great a joy and she could not hold herself back. A moment later she was found proclaiming Him in the streets of Sychar, a city of Samaria. Yes, she found the fountain of living waters and from her heart began to flow forth rivers of living water.

(iii) Sinner Women in a City:

There was no need in her times to refer to her name as such. She was very popular as “The sinner of the city!” Just imagine! What an immoral life she must have lived! She first met Jesus when He was dining in a Pharisee’s house. The Pharisee saw Him as a godly man, but she saw Him as God’s Son. The burden of her sin prevented her from coming in front of Him. She “stood behind Him weeping” (Luke 7:37,38). How penitent and how remorseful she was! Fear gripped her heart that she might not be accepted by the holy Son of god. She washed His feet with tears of repentance, kissed them with gratitude and anointed them with fragrant oil. It was not oil but her life itself that she poured out at His feet. Except for Jesus, she was an unwanted person in that place. The woman uttered not a word. But, what her tear drops spoke was intelligible to Him and He answered her, saying, ”Your sins are forgiven.” The Pharisee would not let her go forgiven. But Jesus assured her of her salvation, ”Your faith has saved you. Go in peace” (Luke 7:50)

Yes, we are made ‘clean’ by Christ’s blood through faith. There is no sin too dark, no crime too black to be washed by His blood. ”The blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.” (1 John 1:7)

4] Adulterated Gospel:

Paul declares in 1 Corinthians 1:23 ”We preach Christ crucified”. To preach Jesus Christ, the Son of God, as the Saviour is pure Gospel. If we add to this or subtract from this it becomes adulterated. CROSS plus or minus equals NOTHING!.

The faulty exposition of the New Testament truth is the chilly breeze that blows across Church today. The spirit of modern orthodoxy is utterly in contrast with the spirit of the Word of God. People are found preaching many formulae for which they cannot furnish chapter or verse in the Bible. Salvation is not to be found in any formula, but in the Saviour.

Here are few examples of the Adulterated Gospel:

(a) Baptism:

Apostle Peter says in 1 Peter 2:21-22 “This water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also—not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a clear conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who has gone into heaven and is at God’s right hand—with angels, authorities and powers in submission to him.” Trusting in Jesus, you make an agreement with God through baptism. That ‘Baptism – a must’ is the clear teaching of the Bible. But we ought to be careful lest we make a mistake here. FAITH precedes and BAPTISM follows. If it is vice versa, that is adulterated Gospel.

(b) Tithing, Fasting, Praying, etc.

Tithing, fasting, praying, etc., are all necessary. Our righteousness must exceed the righteousness of the Scribes and the Pharisees. But these things do not save you. Nobody can say that someone is saved just because his prayers are often answered. Jesus granted even the prayers of demons (Matthew 8:31). If we believe that our tithing and fasting can save us, we are deceiving ourselves. Salvation is only in the Cross.

We meet a Pharisee in the eighteenth chapter of the Gospel according to Luke. He thanked God for he was not like others and he delighted in that he was far better. He exalted himself. “I fast twice a week; I give tithes” (Luke 18:12). But he had to take his pride in his hands and go back just as he came! But the Publican with the simple prayer, “God be merciful to me, a sinner,” went home justified.

And we know about another Pharisee who counted everything but loss for Christ. That was the apostle Paul! Paul says in Philippians 3:7-9 ”But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.” Remember, that our most religious activities are counted for our salvation is, again, an adulterated gospel.

Have you confessed and forsaken all your sins? This is the question often asked to the new converts. To speak the truth, there is none on this earth who, at the time of conversion, confessed every single sin he had committed. If that is the rule, nobody can say that he or she is saved, because it is impossible to recall to your memory the whole of your past life!

Many are the examples in the Bible to prove that people are saved instantly:

(i) The Tax-Collector (Luke 8:13-14) : He came to God, confessed his sinfulness and got saved “instantly”.

(ii) Zacchaeus (Luke 19:5-9): The moral giants were murmuring outside but Zacchaeus, the saved, was rejoicing with his Redeemer inside.

(iii) The criminal on the Cross (Luke 23:40-43): He hung crucified on the cross. All that could do was to turn his eyes towards Jesus and see the King of kings crowned with thorns, accepted his own wicked deeds and prayed to Jesus to remember him when He comes into His Kingdom. Yes, a sinner a moment before is saved now!

(iv) The Ethiopian Official (Acts 8:35-38): He believed with all his heart and he was saved instantly.

(v) Lydia (Acts 16:13-15): Her heart swelled with the joy of salvation. Yes, she and her household were baptized that day itself. Instant salvation!

(vi) The Jailor (Acts 16:31-33): The Philippian jailor found that Paul’s God was indeed a living one. He wanted to be saved immediately. Yes, he and all in his household believed on the Lord Jesus Christ and he “rejoiced, having believed in God with all his household.” Yes, immediately he and all his family were baptized.

5] Man’s Responsibility:

Except Christianity, every other religion offers a balance of works and reward. But Christianity is salvation by faith alone. Trusting in Christ’s saving and keeping power, you cease from your own works and efforts.

It is true that we are not saved by our good works (Eph 2:9), but it is equally true that we are saved for good works (Eph 2:10). You may wonder, whether I left the position of grace and reverted to salvation by works? Certainly not. If an initial act of faith alone will do, what is our explanation for the following Scripture passage?

The Bible says in James 2:17,20,26 ”Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead (Ver. 17)…. You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? (Ver.20)… As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead. (Ver 26)

What does “works” here mean? Are these works the so-called good and religious deeds done with an intention to merit God’s favour and with an expectation of reward from God? A thousand times, NO! Works here mean the corresponding actions of obedience. Faith and obedience go hand in hand in the Scriptures.

Let us see some of the examples given by James himself in his Epistle make clear the implications of the word “works”:

a] Abraham:

James 2:21 ”Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? Here, Abraham is said to have been justified by works! Let us examine the truth about this statement. Turning to Genesis 15:5-6 ”He took him outside and said, “Look up at the sky and count the stars—if indeed you can count them.” Then He said to him, “So shall your offspring be.” Abram believed the Lord, and He credited it to him as righteousness.”

Paul says in Romans 4:9-13 ”We have been saying that Abraham’s faith was credited to him as righteousness. Under what circumstances was it credited? Was it after he was circumcised, or before? It was not after, but before! And he received circumcision as a sign, a seal of the righteousness that he had by faith while he was still uncircumcised. So then, he is the father of all who believe but have not been circumcised, in order that righteousness might be credited to them. And he is then also the father of the circumcised who not only are circumcised but who also follow in the footsteps of the faith that our father Abraham had before he was circumcised. It was not through the law that Abraham and his offspring received the promise that he would be heir of the world, but through the righteousness that comes by faith.”

Further Paul says in Romans 4:20-22 ”He did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. This is why “it was credited to him as righteousness.” After being justified, Abraham’s faith was revealed in the corresponding actions. When he took his son to Mount Moriah to do as he was told, his faith was confirmed by his works. This is the “works” referred to by James.

b) Rahab:

James talks about Raheb in James 2:25 ”In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction?

Let us turn back to Joshua 2:9-11 “I know that the Lord has given you this land and that a great fear of you has fallen on us, so that all who live in this country are melting in fear because of you. We have heard how the Lord dried up the water of the Red Sea for you when you came out of Egypt, and what you did to Sihon and Og, the two kings of the Amorites east of the Jordan, whom you completely destroyed. When we heard of it, our hearts melted in fear and everyone’s courage failed because of you, for the Lord your God is God in heaven above and on the earth below.”

This faith Rahab made manifest in her works when she accepted the men from the Lord’s army and helped them to get out of their enemies’ hands.

What the Apostle James actually means by “works” can be well understood by referring to the context in James 2:14-17 ”What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”

Remember, by faith we are reconciled to God, by love we have to be reconciled with men. Our right fellowship with God through faith must invariably result in a right interpersonal relationship with men.

Finally, two of Jesus’s disciples were backslidden. One was Judas who was holding an important office, that of a treasurer and the other was the most prominent leader, Peter. Judas did a shameful deed by betraying his Master to the Chief Priests, who, Judas knew, were plotting against His life. Judas did not have the faith to turn back to Christ.

Peter was the worst of the two. He denied Jesus and cursed Him thrice in spite of previous warning. But Jesus had prayed that “his faith should not fail” (Luke 22:31-32). The Father granted the Son’s prayer. When Peter’s eyes met his Lord’s eyes he became penitent and cried bitterly. Unlike Judas, Peter turned to Christ. He, then, became a great blessing to others!

Dear friend, do not suspend yourself in a state of self-condemnation. That was exactly what Judas did with himself. You may have gone to the deadline of backsliding. But Jesus keeps praying that your faith would not come to nought. God awaits your coming back. It is not too late yet. Get back to Christ. Make yourself available to God. You shall surely be made a blessing to others. Yes, that is what Christ did with Peter’s life (Luke 22:32).

Yes, the just will live by faith!

Let us introspect ourselves..

Shall we believe our Lord whole heartedly and run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith?

Shall we stop struggling and striving with our own efforts and put our faith and trust in God?

Shall we live by faith instead of relying on self-righteousness?

Shall we have a simple faith like Rahab, the Samaritan woman, and the sinner woman who washed His feet with tears of repentance?

Shall we be cautious about not mixing religious formulae with the pure Gospel?

Shall we check our hearts whether our faith leads us to good works?

Shall we check our hearts whether we are careful to maintain good works having believed in God?

Shall we get right with God and get right with man as well?

Shall we get rid of self-condemnation and get back to Christ?

0 notes