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gardenofnoah · 2 months

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it was never ending (pt. 1)

wc: 5.3k (pt. 1 only) tags (whole series): bakugou x reader, oc character death (not reader), grief, healing, found family, getting together, slow (medium?) burn, child rearing, descriptions of pregnancy, morning sickness, friends to lovers, confessions, eventual smut

notes: i've had the idea for this in my drafts for the last 82 years. i blacked out and wrote this whole thing in like 12 hours. fingers crossed for the same motivation demon to visit me in my sleep for part 2.

summary: when the father of your child passes away suddenly, you get by with a little help from your friends (and a really intense Bakugou).

There was a part of you that already knew, as soon as the phone rang. At 7pm, there was no reason to assume it wasn't benign, like your mother calling to confirm what you'd already told her you'd bring to brunch the following weekend.

It wasn't, though. You knew it wouldn't be.

The drive is something that happens to someone else. You see it in flashes. Distantly, you think that it's probably not safe, driving in this state with an infant in the backseat. But you don't really have another option—or at least not one that occurs to you.

A nurse—a young woman, who can't be any older than early twenties—meets you in the lobby. She's practiced in her stoicism. There is no forced smile, no apologies—just a quiet invitation to follow her. She leads you with a hand on your elbow, like she's expecting you, too, to collapse, down a series of hallways that you don't bother to notice. You wonder how long she's been doing this, and what the impact of it might be on someone so young.

A doctor is waiting for you in the room. He immediately launches into a lengthy, medical term-laden explanation of the two hours prior to your arrival. You hear none of it, and you're not even looking at him.

Behind him, a thin sheet covers the body of the father of the child in your arms.

You turn your phone off.

You have to, really. The barrage of well-intentioned but poorly timed (and often poorly worded) texts and calls and emails renders the thing unusable.

The number of days that've passed between today and the hospital are of little consequence to you. You've survived on autopilot for however many have passed but the bone-deep exhaustion you feel has spread deeper still. Through the wall, Kaede cries, but there's nothing left in you to get your body to move. Kaede, named so at her father's request.

She was an angry thing, born with no small amount of indignancy at the act of bringing her earthside, against her will. She was red and raging for the first several months of her life, and while it exhausted you, Takeshi had taken it in stride.

"My darling girl," you'd hear him through the monitor, cooing to your daughter as she pitched a fit for the umpteenth time that night, "it won't always be so bad."

How would you convince her of the truth in that now?

The sound of knuckles against your front door jars you out of your half-consciousness. It seems it's only a courtesy, though, because you hear it open immediately after. It dawns on you that you haven't thought to check if it was locked since you've been home. Regrettable, especially now. Some distant alarm ringing in your mind tells you that should be concerned that someone has just entered your home, but there's a wall up right now. In an effort to keep you safe, your brain has blocked out everything.

Through the wall, a voice coos to your daughter. You recognize it as Mina's, and you let out a quiet breath. You brain loosens its grasp for an instant and relief floods you. You'll get up and thank her, when you can.

There is a chorus of voices, telling you that there is more than one person in your house right now, but in the absence of a threat, your eyes flutter closed. The door to your bedroom opens, and you blink hard at the light that seeps in over the massive body in your doorway.

The door closes just as quickly, and in the darkness, the body moves around the room to the other side of the bed—the empty one. There is a weight—your body dips with it minutely, and then settles again. You close your eyes, this time to relieve the sting you feel for the first time since getting home. With another breathing body as its witness, the grief hits you so suddenly you can taste it.

"Katsuki," you whimper, feeling him at your back. Familiar arms reach for you, pull you in.

"Y'r alright," he murmurs, pressing the underside of his jaw into your hair. The pressure on all sides squeezes something loose in you. You suck in a gasping breath, and then it leaves you—broken apart and limp. He holds you while you cry—keeps you there, tethered only to him in this storm.

Once the hurt comes, it lingers.

You suppose you can be grateful for that. People do crazy things under the burden of pent up emotion, and you can't afford to come unglued. Not like that, anyway. But while grief pulls you apart in different directions, your friends flit around your peripheral. You'd feel guilty if you could—for not being able to do what you should be able to—but few things get past the mountain of mourning that keeps you pinned to your bed.

They seem to have worked out shifts among themselves. Mina in the morning to get Kaede up and fed, Kirishima and Denki in the evening to get her bathed and ready for bed. Izuku comes around most afternoons with rattle toys and books to keep her engaged, talking and playing to keep her brain developing in your absence. Shielding her from this.

Katsuki doesn't leave.

He sleeps on the couch. Or you assume he does—you've not ventured out of your bed for much of anything. He's in and out of your room during the day, always with little meals or water or reminding you to shower, to get up and walk around the room if you can. It's hard and you cry often, but right now he's not his brash, abrasive self. He's gentler than you've ever seen him, a hand at your back to steady you, his voice low and grounding.

Your relationship with Katsuki is complicated, but not in a bad way. You'd met him, along with the rest of the group, in college. The civilian track at UA landed you a cushy office job—one you promptly turned down due to Katsuki's outrage at you working anywhere that wasn't with him. He'd gotten you a job as a resource coordinator at Jeanist's agency—which was something you found you really enjoyed. Your quirk was less than impressive—similar to Shouto's but not nearly as powerful, you could really only bring tea just shy of a boil. It certainly wouldn't be saving anyone's life, but in this role, you could help. Displaced families needed temporary housing, victims of violence needed access to affordable counseling, the injured needed connected to hearing aids and wheelchairs and prosthetics, ongoing care.

It was hard work, but you felt a certain privilege in being the one to do it. It was an honor to walk along side someone in their most vulnerable moments, and you tried to do it with as much grace and compassion as you could. When Katsuki was big enough to start his own agency, you followed him there. He gave you room to grow, and now, you head a team of community crisis response workers.

You haven't thought about work since the hospital. It's fascinating, how quickly something that matters so deeply to you can leave your mind. Katsuki hasn't mentioned it—in fact, he's not said much of anything, aside from his quiet prompting every few hours. You know that he's only doing what seems so inherent to him, and if you had the energy to, you'd tell him to go home—to take a break. The energy isn't there, though—all you can do is follow his directives to keep yourself alive.

Katsuki has always been protective of you. You're not sure when it started. You'd always been drawn to him, and there was seldom a time when you were somewhere that he wasn't. Your mother took to making up the spare bed for him when you'd come home for weekends and holidays, because it was a guarantee that he'd follow you through the screen door like a shadow. In your third year, she started asking, not so in jest, when the wedding would be.

When you met Takeshi, it was a surprise to everyone. But he was kind, and personable, and the newly-pro heroes adopted him into the fold.

Takeshi knew what Katsuki meant to you, and you were grateful for his patience. While his relationship with you was neatly defined, a specific box in your heart with his name on it—Katsuki was not. He was in everything that you were, and it was something that Takeshi chose not to interfere with. You're certain it was difficult, but he took it in stride.

He really was a kind man.

Within a year of being together, you found out you were pregnant. It was a shock—but what news filled you with terror, Takeshi received with utter delight. You were only a year out of college and in no way financially stable, but his joy left an impression on you. With each day, your child grew, and so did your tentative excitement. Takeshi was through the roof—as were your heroes.

Katsuki was the one to figure it out first. You'd been absent from a few of the group's weekly dinners at the bar in town. When you finally showed up, dressed in a big hoodie that covered most of you, you'd politely declined all offers of beer and stuck to stealing fries off of his plate.

"You pregnant?" he'd asked, not bothering to lower his voice. You blinked up at him, caught of guard.

"I—uh. Yeah."

You could've heard a pin drop, with how silent the table had fallen. You lowered your eyes—uncomfortable, unsure how to proceed—and reached for another fry. Mina broke the silence first.

"Oh my god!" she'd shrieked, already in tears. The rest of your friends followed in suit, cheering and reaching for you across the table in some strange attempt at a hug, at comfort.

You'd looked back up to Katsuki, who'd been strangely quiet. His eyes held a question—something undeniably concerned.

"It's okay," you told him, smiling softly. Squeezing his knee under the table, you couldn't miss how tense the muscle felt under your hand. "Honest."

A month crawls by, and you find that you can't sleep in your bed anymore.

After a few, agonizing hours of tossing and turning, and pointedly avoiding the other side of the bed, enough is enough. You stumble in the dark to the living room, trying your hardest to be quiet. It's your sniffling that wakes him up.

"Y'alright?" slurred, endearing. It would make you smile if you weren't crying. You shake your head, though his eyes aren't open to see it.

"Move over," you whisper, already pulling the blanket out from under his hip. Katsuki shifts, rolling to his side and lifting an arm for you to slot yourself underneath.

His heart beat, steady and slow, taps against your temple. You close your eyes and imagine the shape of it—the chambers that expand and contract and keep him alive. The wave of gratitude is immense and sudden and brings another sting to your eyes.

He doesn't go back to sleep—you can tell by his breathing.

"I'm sorry," you whisper, watery and broken. The arm around your waist tightens.

"Enough." His voice is gravely with sleep, but that's not all that's there. There's an edge to it, and you know that he's worried. "Try t'sleep."

Takeshi had made it a habit to talk with Kaede before she was born.

Each night, he would shuffle down the bed and speak softly to your growing stomach, filling her in on the events of the day.

"We wanted to go on a picnic today, but you made your mother sick." He'd pat your belly, shaking his head with a tsk. "That wasn't very nice, little girl."

Pregnancy was hard. You'd wished to be like those women that glow—that love being pregnant, that feel all connected to their bodies and the earth and the universe and whatever—but it was awful. Your ankles swelled and your back ached and you were sick all of the time.

Takeshi worked a 9-5 job outside the city, so Katsuki would stop by to check on you. It became something like a routine. You'd spend all morning throwing up, and then Katsuki would stop by and spend most of the afternoon here, feeding you anti-nausea medication and small bites of food (you'd really only wanted toast, which would launch Katsuki into a several minute tirade about how you'd kill yourself and the baby if you didn't eat a god damned vegetable. This was also part of your routine).

Katsuki's quirk was surprisingly helpful. It took some convincing ("You're not going to fry the baby Katsuki, Jesus Christ,"), but you found that if you had a layer between you, his hands could act as a high-powered heating pad. He'd sit behind you on the floor, one hand on your lower back, the other scrolling through his phone. You'd keep your head between your knees to stave of the nausea.

"You nervous?"

It was the first time he'd really asked. You rested your cheek on your knee, looking back to catch the blonde spikes of his hair in your peripheral.

"Honestly? Yeah. Really nervous."

He'd hummed, something noncommittal and gruff. You let the silence stretch on for another moment before breaking it again.

"I'm worried I'm going to poop on the table."

He'd snorted, and you could feel the eye roll from behind you. "That's what y'r worried about?"

"I mean, yeah. And the possibility of irreparably fucking up my child, I guess."

He'd gone quiet again, and you'd let your eyes close. Content for the moment.

"You'll do fine," he'd said, too quiet for him. The heat spread wider, his other hand joining the first at the small of your back. Kneading softly. "Kid's got a good mom."

She sits in front of you now, her chunky legs kicking wildly inside the cloth seat of her jumper. You watch her little toes feel out the ridged bottom, curling around the textures. It might be the first time since Takeshi died that you have really spent time with your child.

Kaeda grunts around the teething ring in her mouth, gurgling happily as Mina sits next to her—pink fingers pressing light up buttons on the tray to catch your daughter's eye. It works for a few seconds, but you sniff, and Kaeda's eyes find you.

"Dah!" the teething ring goes flying as she reaches for you, her head not quite catching up to the jerky movements of her body.

You smile at her, and the stretch of it feels foreign. "Hi, my baby."

It's effort, but you stand, reaching to grab under her armpits and hoist her out of her seat. Her fingers tangle in the strands of your hair. She seems bigger—heavier than she was before. It makes your chest ache. She sits on your hip as you spin her slowly, a sort of sashay around the perimeter of the rug.

"My big girl. Have you had fun with Mina?"

Katsuki watches you with lazy interest from his spot on the couch. Mina immediately busies herself with another task—folding blankets, cleaning up toys. You don't waste your breath telling her she doesn't have to. You'd already tried once, and she waved you off like a pesky fly.

"I'm not doing this because I have to, honey," she reminded you, not bothering to look up from pulling clothes out of the washing machine. "I want to."

At seven months, Kaeda has started to crawl. Or, sort of. It's more like an army crawl, with her little legs propelling her, in a way, across the ground. She gets antsy in your arms, and fusses to be put down.

"I hear ya, I hear ya," you murmur softly, bending to guide her to the soft ground. "Go nuts."

She does, squirming her way across the rug—right to Katsuki. She reaches where his arm hangs over the edge of the couch—and gives it a good, solid smack, her little palm splayed open across his skin.

"What th—y'little brat—"

He peers over the couch at her, and she squeals, clearly enamored by the game she's forced him into. She tries it again—winds up, determined, with her arm up by her head—but he snatches it up before it lands. This time it's a screech that leaves her, all of the air pushed out of her lungs to make room for the belly laugh that she dissolves into when he makes a big show of eating her grubby little fingers.

It was never a surprise to you that Katsuki was so good with Kaede. It was unexpected, though, how much he wanted to be around her. You'd asked about it once, after spending several moments watching him carry her around like a football and seemingly enjoying it, and he'd only shrugged.

"She's cooler than you, so."

You'd laughed, only a little indignant, shoving him lightly. He'd hissed at you to be careful, don't you see the fuckin' baby here, which made you laugh harder. It was absurd, this wall of a man toting around a tiny, slobbering infant.

She was just as enamored with him. She would seek him out anytime he was in her line of vision, often fighting her way out of your grasp to get to him. It reminded you of the way cats seem to flock to the one person that doesn't like cats—she'd picked the meanest looking man in the room and latched on.

Like mother, like daughter, you suppose.

"Do you have a name picked out?"

It was late—your head hung off the edge of the bed, which seemed to be the only position that didn't send acid reflux straight up your throat, oddly enough. Takeshi sat up at the other end, your feet in his lap while he pressed his thumbs into the soles of them.

"No," you told him honestly, "truthfully, I'm drawing a blank."

He'd hummed, hands moving up to get at your swollen ankles. "What about Kaede?"

"Kaede," you rolled the syllables around in your mouth, testing the shape of it. It felt nice. "How come?"

"I just—want her to be strong." It was thoughtful as it left him, hanging around in the air above your heads. "I want her to be like a maple tree."

"Like a tree," you repeated dryly, making him snort.

"You know! Like, rooted and strong. But able to change and sway in the wind, all that."

"Wow," you breathed, smiling, "you are so corny."

He sputtered, trying to defend himself, "It's not corny—!"

"Alright, alright," you reached down to pat the duvet, trying to placate him from afar, "Kaede. I like it."

Katsuki was the first one in the room after Kaede was born.

It was—unconventional—and you were made well aware of that by the open gawking of the nurses, but Takeshi didn't mind. You felt some guilt, fueled by the reaction of those around you, and told him as much.

"I'll have the rest of my life to hold her," he'd said. "I'll go grab him."

How sad it was to remember that moment now.

You'd closed your eyes for only a moment before you were stirred by a familiar hand on the crown of your head. You'd blinked and were startled to find him visibly concerned.

"You look like shit," he'd said, tilting your head to each side, as if to check for injury. It made you smile.

"Yeah, well, you push a watermelon out of the smallest orifice in your body and let me know how you feel."

He'd gagged, which made you laugh, which hurt.

"Oh, don't do that," you exhaled, long and controlled, "Everything hurts."

He'd gone quiet for a moment, watching you shift and settle back into the bed, wires and leads twisting and clanging off the plastic railing.

"Y'r okay?"

It made you smile. "I am. She's so beautiful, Kat. I can almost forgive her for totally wrecking me on the way out."

As if on queue, the child in question let out a grunt from her spot in the little plastic cradle—moving like a grub, swaddled. He looked at you for another long moment before rising to see for himself. He stopped, too far from the crib, and bent at the waist for a better view. You snorted.

"You can get closer, Katsuki. It's fine."

Another step toward her and he'd stopped again, clearly maxed out on his own comfort. The smile pulled at your cheeks so tightly that it ached.

He looked back at you, and then again to her. It was comical, how fascinated he'd seemed by the tiny person in front of him. And then, over his shoulder—

"You shit the bed?"

You groaned, bringing your hand up to cover your face, mindful of the IV. "I think I did."

His laugh was a crackling thing, echoing around the sterile walls of your room, and Kaede didn't stir at all.

When you step foot outside, it's immediately apparent how long it'd been since you last did.

It's a sort of sensory overload—the bright light and the birds and the passing cars and the knowledge that someone has been keeping up with your lawn while you rotted away inside.

From the shaky lines that cut into the grass at odd angles, you have a hunch it was Denki.

Mina accompanies you to the mailbox, as requested. Her arm, strong and assuring, looped through yours as she all but drags you down the short drive to the edge of the road.

You open the box, and immediately shut it.

All of it is for Takeshi.

"Oh sh—sugar," Mina hisses, as if you were not an adult with a fully formed (and often colorful) vocabulary. "I'm sorry, babe. I didn't think about that."

You shake your head. It's an inevitable thing that you don't have the energy to waste the tears on. "Will you sit with me?"

You end up on the porch swing, the metal springs above your head creaking with each suspended shove of your toe off the porch. It's a nice day, you think, trying hard not to find that particularly egregious.

Inside, you hear the squeal of your daughter, followed by the grumbling of Katsuki. It sounds a bit like a lecture that Kaede seems to think is hilarious. Another laugh—this time Denki.

"I'm really glad you're all here," you say eventually, quiet under the buzz of the world around you. "I know it's hard to put your own lives on hold."

She reaches for you, threading your fingers together and pulling them into her lap. "It's not hard at all. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now. I know the boys feel the same."

You lean your head against her shoulder, the gentle swaying lulling you somewhere else—on a beach, maybe. With the wind in your hair and salt on your lips. Anywhere but the home that your child's dead father haunts.

"Has Bakugou left at all?"

You snort. "I don't think so."

She sighs, shaking her head. You can hear the smile in it. "He's a real mother hen, that one."

You smile, feeling fond. A mother hen, and your protector.

The breeze turns colder, and Mina shivers. You focus your quirk into the hand she holds—the first time you've used it in quite some time.

She sighs. "God, that's nice. Way better than Blasty's in there."

Her chin presses into the crown of your head when she opens her mouth to speak, and then closes it again. Suddenly she's a little tense, like she's trying to build up her nerve.

"You can say it," you offer gently.

"I was just wondering if you'd stay here."

You've thought about it. It's been hard not too, with the way you can barely get yourself to open your bedroom door at this point. You'd spent every night on the couch with Bakugou since that night.

"No." You speak quietly, as if it's a secret between you. It feels strange to say it out loud. You think, if Takeshi is lingering, you don't want him to hear this. "I just—I don't know where to go. We'd planned to raise her here."

Here, in the home that you love. In the home that you can't bear to spend one more night in.

"Did he have..." She trails off, reconsidering. "I mean, did you get a..."

"Yes," you say, already knowing what she's asking. "I was paid out last week. I put all of it away in an account for Kaede." You sigh, sitting up to straighten out the kink that now exists in your neck. "With my job, we're fine. It's more...the principle of the thing. This is her home."

Mina squeezes your hand gently. "She's a baby, honey. She won't remember it. This was your home."

You tilt your head back, willing away the sting of fresh tears and the irritation you feel at having done so well today until this point.

"Yeah," you sniff, closing your eyes, "it was."

Time passes in waves. Slowly, creeping, and then all at once.

The longer you're in the house, the more you realize you can't stay. You are certain of it, the first time you're left alone.

Katsuki had stepped out to grab dinner. You'd all but shoved him out the door, assuring him that you'd be fine for the 20 minutes it took to pick the food up.

"Y'need anything, you call." It was the fourth or fifth time he'd said it to you.

"Alright, alright," you tell him, trailing down the front steps behind him. "I will, I promise."

When you shut the door behind you again, there's a feeling of lethality to it—a debilitating silence that you haven't heard in four months.

You don't want to go any further into the house. You do, only to grab Kaede, and then you're right back outside. It starts to rain, and it feels fitting. You sit under the awning behind your daughter as she sticks her toes out into the drizzle, curling them with each drop that falls on her skin. You think about how overwhelming it must be as a baby—how new everything is.

It's less than 15 minutes later when Katsuki pulls into the driveway. He's out of his truck and in front of you in record time, frowning at you like he already knows something's wrong. Kaede reaches for him, and he scoops her up like it's muscle memory. He waits for you to talk. A moment passes.

"I can't be here anymore," you whisper, shaky. He looks at Kaede for a long moment, like she could have something offer on the topic.

"Alright," he says, reaching for the front door with his free hand, "pack a bag."

It takes you longer than you thought it would. You'll be back—you have to come back, because you can't take everything right now—but it feels final. The beginning of the true end. There's a framed picture of you and Takeshi at your baby shower on your nightstand. You consider taking it with you—instead, you turn it face down and move on.

By the time you manage to shove a hoodie, some shorts, a few pairs of underwear and your toiletries into a bag, Katsuki has already packed two bags for Kaede and put her in her carrier. You just look at him, wholly dumbfounded.

"You good?"

You look at him for another beat. "Yeah, fine."

The drive to Katsuki's isn't long. You follow him in your car, not wanting to leave it in your driveway. Kaede is with Katsuki, something you didn't fight him on.

You spend 10 of the 15 minute drive flipping through radio stations before you finally turn it off. You're left in silence, and you're now well and truly alone for the first time since Takeshi died.

You suck in a breath, trying to dislodge the thing that has lived in your chest everyday since.

"You knew something was wrong," you say, out loud, to no one. "You knew something was wrong, and you didn't tell me."

You picture him next you—mouth opening to respond, to defend himself. You beat him to it.

"It was preventable," your heart breaks again. "There was no reason—"

You'd tried to keep this at bay—the knowledge that Takeshi's death was meaningless. You hadn't heard a word the doctor said, but you'd read the pathologist's report. It was too hard, too much to process with everything else that needed tended to, but your brain seems to take advantage of every quiet moment you get.

"You left her without a father," your breath comes ragged, both hands gripping the steering wheel tightly to make up for the tears that threaten to block out your vision, "you—you left me,"

With impeccable timing, no sooner than you pull into Katsuki's apartment complex and park do you dissolve completely, curling in on yourself in your seat. It's crushing, this grief and this anger together inside a body that surely cannot hold all of it.

You don't see Katsuki when he approaches your driver's side door. You don't see him when he hesitates, one arm holding Kaede and the other outstretched as if you grab hold of you and pull you from your suffering himself. You don't see when he decides against it—when he turns around to leave you to do what you need to do on your own.

In a way, you start to feel lighter. Like something has shifted, like the boulder in your chest has fragmented just enough to let a breath through.

You get Kaede up on your own today. You let yourself linger over her, leaning on the side of the pack-n-play to watch her as she sleeps. Her little eyelashes frame her round cheeks, fluttering with whatever dream she's in the middle of.

The upturn of her nose, the slope of her forehead—these are things she gets from Takeshi. The curve of her eyes, the shape of her fingernails—those are yours. She is the most even mix of two people you’ve ever seen, and something about that makes losing Takeshi a little easier. It would’ve been a lot harder if she had simply taken his face.

She stirs as if she’s felt your thorough examination. “Hey, sweetheart,” you coo, reaching down to pull her up. She lays her head down on your shoulder, sleepy, and something about it brings tears to your eyes so suddenly that you startle yourself.

This tiny person that relies on you for everything. This little girl that fits so easily in your arms. She is yours, to keep safe and happy and content. She is a promise you made, both to Takeshi and yourself. She is the thing that will keep you going, even when you’re certain you cannot take another step. She is the thing you have to show up for, no matter what.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” your voice is tiny as it is watery, whispered into her hair, to her already sleeping form. You stand there, in the middle of Katsuki’s spare bedroom, rocking your child and letting the tears fall down in fat drops—and it feels like the most normal thing in the world. “I’m so sorry. I’m here.”

It’s only when you turn your head that you see Katsuki lingering in the doorway. You open your mouth to tell him that you’re alright, but you only manage something wounded, something pathetic and broken and painful. He’s in front of you in an instant, unwinding Kaede from your hold and putting her back into the pack-n-play, still sleeping. It’s only another second before he’s dragging you to him, nearly crushing you to his chest. It pulls another wave of tears from you, because it feels good. To be held, and to be held by Katsuki, who would reduce every source of your pain to ash if he could. He holds you like he means to keep you intact—to put you back together the best he can. The only person who has ever held you like this, meant it like this.

Six months, 13 days, and 11 hours after Takeshi dies, something changes.

part 2 soon. thanks for reading, love u. <3

#will i ever stop writing about this man? not likely #bakugou katsuki #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou fic #bakugou x you #mha fic #bnha fic #bnha writing #bakugou hurt comfort #mha x reader #bnha x reader

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pumpkin-cake · 29 days

Note

Hi! After your very cute Five x reader oneshot, would you be interested in a crossover between Saw and TUA?

Like maybe the reader or Five survived a saw trap, so it would be a combination of fluff and angst. Maybe flashback nightmares as well. Whether they both survived one (together or seperate) or just one is up to you. It could also make use of the Five-only-has-one-arm plotline that got abandoned.

Keep up the good work!

so i'm in love with saw, and i'm in love with tua. i'm usually afraid to write crossovers because of how complicated they can get but i'm actually really excited to combine these two. thank you sm for the request! i also came up with my own trap for this :) i hope you like it!

warnings: blood and a bit of gore, maybe some disturbing imagery

You woke up in a dark room. Your hands were chained to something, you couldn't make out what it was. Your feet were bare, standing upon some sort of rubber material. You stayed calm, The Commission had trained you to always keep calm and stay on guard.

The lights in the room flashed on, violating your retinas. You could see an old CRT TV, and it flickered to life revealing some dirty and raggedy puppet with a white face and blood red spirals on his cheeks.

"Hello (Y/n). I want to play a game." The puppet's mouth opened as it seemed to speak. "You're wondering why you're here, but I believe the answer is quite simple. You are the type of person who doesn't value human life. Killing mercilessly all for the prospect of wealth. You don't bother to question who you kill or even why, unlike your partner, who unfortunately managed to escape my grasp. Your strange ability won't be enough to get you away from me, however. Right now, you are chained to a treadmill that I engineered to only run on the highest setting: twenty miles per hour. Instead of running from your mistakes, you will face them and be taught how valuable life truly is. You will run at this speed for an hour, and if you fail, you will fall into the meat grinder behind you. If you do manage to escape, you will bleed out. Live or die. Make your choice."

Your eyes widened, and the calmness you felt quickly dissipated. You looked behind you and the huge machine began to whirl, blades eagerly awaiting you. Your first thought was to get off. The chains were long enough, so if you did fail you would fall into the machine rather than be stuck on the treadmill. The spikes surrounding the machine were rather discouraging though. You'd only be able to avoid them if you could jump, but the chains were solving that problem.

Before you could think and rationalize further, the treadmill was starting up. You quickly began to run, and was very glad your stamina was better than the average human. As you ran, you tried to think. You tugged at the chains to get a better look. No lock or keyhole. They must be automatic. This guy said he was an engineer; it wouldn't be surprising if he manufactured these cuffs too. They covered your whole hands. There wasn't any way to break your wrists to get out.

You were stuck. There were spikes on the edges of the treadmill too, ensuring you didn't try to wait out the timer. An hour, could you manage that?

You broke a sweat five minutes in. The room was hot, way hotter than average. You grit your teeth. Another factor to the test. All you could do was listen. If you jumped on the edge spikes now, you might bleed out or faint. You had to make it through.

You had been doing good, really good. You looked to the timer. Your clothes were drenched in sweat, your legs ached, you felt dizzy. You could hardly read the timer. You squinted. Ten more minutes. Just ten more. You would be free if this bastard kept his word.

Then, you tripped.

The chains clunked together as you lost your footing, as you fell backwards so fast you couldn't pull your legs up fast enough. The grinder dug and tore into your feet, blood gushing as it threatened to pull you in.

Your scream filled the room, and through sheer determination you grasped the chains and yanked yourself up again. You didn't even look at your feet, searing pain coursing through your body. You couldn't keep running. The puppet's words echoed through your head.

Live or die. Make your choice.

You grasped onto the chains again and with a scream you managed to pull yourself onto the spiked edges. The spikes shot through the mangled messes of your feet, and tears streamed down your face as you shrieked in pure agony. You yanked and pulled at the chains desperately, feeling the spikes violating your insides.

Then, the chains unlocked.

The whirring of the grinder stopped.

The treadmill came to a stop.

You collapsed onto the treadmill. Quickly you pulled your raw hands from the restraints and pulled off your shirt as fast as you could, ripping it half with the bit of strength you had. You wrapped the pieces of fabric around each leg to make tourniquets around them. The TV turned on again, but you couldn't hear it over your own cries and sobs of agony. Your feet were completely mangled, blood coating the whole treadmill. Was that bone in there?

Then?

It stopped.

You shot up in bed, a hand on your shoulder. You didn't even realize you were screaming until you choked on one of your own cries. Ignoring the man next to you, you threw the blankets off you and looked at the stubs at the end of your legs. Your cries worsened, remembering that had all been real before.

"Darling, breathe, I need you to breathe." Five said from next to you, also sweaty. He grabbed the blanket and adjusted it around your shoulders and held your face. "You are not back there. You're safe, okay?"

You somehow managed to meet his eyes, even if yours were cloudy with the fat tears streaming down your face. His face was calm, and he stared at you with a firmness. He believed in you.

"You can do this. You're in bed with me. That twisted asshole is not here." He said, and even if he was so angry at the man who made you this way, he stayed calm and collected.

Five remembered when he found you. He had worked tirelessly with the CIA, FBI, and his siblings to find you. He had jumped ahead of the investigation when they had any clue as to your location, ignoring warnings to wait. He had barged in, and when he saw you laying pale on that treadmill with no feet, he swore his heart stopped beating.

He knew your mental state would be delicate, and that was stressful. Five wasn't great with emotions. You'd break down frequently, and he felt helpless. What was he supposed to do? It usually ended with him hugging you close, kissing your wrists where they'd been chained or gently rubbing the stubs at the end of your legs.

Five was the most supportive he could be, helping you around with your new prosthetic feet. Or flat out carrying you if you didn't feel like wearing them as you got used to them. Now you could walk without them even so, but he still liked to carry you up and down the stairs.

You looked into Five's eyes, sweaty and tearful. He kept his hands on the sides of your face, and you shakily reached up to hold his hands.

Five had a quick flashback of when your bloody hands met after you'd regained conscious. He hadn't left your side in the hospital, threatening to murder the hospital staff if they dared to keep you from him. That's how he was scrubbed up and in the operating room, not letting your hand go for even a second.

He sat with you in the bed, whispering sweet nothings while you cried. It pained him so bad to see you in such an awful state, he couldn't hide the expression on his face. That's why he pulled you into his chest so you wouldn't see. His stomach felt like it was shriveling up and dying while you wept profusely into his striped nightshirt.

He wasn't sure how long it was before you stopped crying and pulled away from his chest.

"I'm thirsty." You mumbled hoarsely.

He nodded, pressing a soft kiss to your wet cheek. "Okay." He said simply, pulling the covers off and going to your side of the bed. "C'mon, up." He spoke. You held your arms out and he lifted you from the bed, taking you to the kitchen with the utmost care. He set you on the counter by the fridge, used to this routine. He took your hand and kept it in his while he reached for a cup, even if he had to strain.

While the two of you were still getting used to this set of nightly events, he had let go of your hand and you had immediately began freaking out, begging him to keep touching you. Safe to say he would never let go again, so that's why he gave your shaky hand three squeezes. I love you.

Three squeezes back. I love you.

Five put some ice in the cup and filled it halfway with water. You'd most likely spill it if it were filled up all the way. He helped you drink it, just quietly supporting you.

"Thanks." You whispered, and he smiled.

"You're welcome. Are you ready to go back to bed?"

You hesitated, and he chuckled gently. "Alright, let's read for a bit." He carried you back to the bedroom and clicked on the warm lamp on his table. He grabbed the book sitting there, Fahrenheit 451 written by Ray Bradbury.

“We need not to be let alone. We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real?”

As he read, your eyes slowly began to close. You were asleep in his lap within a matter of minutes. He placed a bookmark between the worn pages and put it back. He clicked the lamp off.

"Just like that...told you that you could do it." He whispered with relief, glad to see your peaceful face again.

#gn!reader #x reader #sawposting #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves #crossover #hurt/comfort

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kix-mm · 10 months

Text

A once cruel god. G/t short story 1/??

Pt2

"Hey, where are you going? Don't leave! I was joking!" The god yelled as they watched the tiny human try to drag themselves in the opposite direction as fast as they could. Damn it, why did he have to do that?! Why did he have to ruin the moment?!

They quickly grabbed ahold of the human, trying to be ever so gentle and not harm them like they had done so carelessly before. They felt the human flinch and struggle, and their tears streamed down their cheeks endlessly while they repeat the same sentences over and over again.

"Please let me go, I've earned my freedom, I don't want to go back! Please, please, please!" They begged between sobs. It made the young God feel so uneasy now that he could understand the human language... this is what they had been saying all this time? He remembers laughing when hearing these silly little words, unaware of their meaning, and how cruel he used to play with the humans... this particular one somehow managed to survive. Despite the young gods' favoritism, he had made this little human life torture from a young age... the young God had fallen for this particular human, but it didn't mean that they had it any easier, they watched their own kind get crushed, tipped apart, eaten, and given false hope and promises... and on top of all that they had to pretend to be head over heals for the giant in order for their life to be safe, despite all the torture they endured...

The human was a frail figure, misting a lower arm and both their legs. These were the young gods' doings. There was no mistaking it...

"My flower..." the God spoke in a sad, soft voice, they watched the humans face drain of any color and their body begin so tremble uncontrollably, hearing that name again... that alone was enough to make the human have a panic attack. "No, no! No! Nonononono, you promised it was over! You promised I could go!" That was right. The young god didn't usually grace their "toys" with freedom when he got bored playing with them, but this human got a right to leave for exactly this reason... so that he could find them all these years later... and understand them... he had done so with several other humans, and all yielded the same results... horror, shock, begging, and even ending their own lives and those of their families in order to not have ANGYONE go through what they did...

"My flower.." he repeated again carefully. They wish they had bothered to learn the humans name before, and despite all that had happened he hated to admit how hid heart fluttered seeing this human again, even after all this torture, they were still so beautiful... the humans attempts to ruin their face had been for nothing, large gashes all over made them almost unrecognizable, yet they immediately began sobbing louder when they saw that distinctive pink hue on the gods cheeks. "I'm not your fucking flower!! I'm not! I'm not!!"

The harsh words made the God flinch. "Wait - wait, no- I, w-what do I call you? What is your name? I won't call you that ever again, please don't cry." they beg, that right, a God, begging a former human toy for something more comfortable to call them... that was almost impossible, only in a humans wildest dreams would they be treated like such...

The human went silent, expecting this to be some cruel trick for speaking so unfaithfully to an all mighty God... meanwhile, the young god sat in anticipation to hear anything that could resemble a name. Nothing, hours of silence went by without either saying anything at all, judt heavy breathing as a result of the humans panic attack.

The God eventually got tired of waiting and asked calmly again, "What is your name..?" To which the human flinched once more, was this a trick question? "F-flower, my lord..." they said with their head down. "No, I'm asking what your real name is, not the one I gave you..." the human kept their eyes glued to the palm of the gods hand. "I... I don't know my lord..." they lied, not wanting the God to tarnish their name by hearing them speak it. The young God frowned and tried to catch a glimpse of the humans eyes.

"You don't..? Do you even have a name?" The human never replied. "W-would you like a name?" He asks "I promise it'll be a nice one, then you won't be nameless anymore " they say with a hopeful smile.

The human feels sick to their stomach but nods slowly. "It would be an honor..." No, it wouldn't... it's a curse in disguise. If the human used the name the God gave him , then God would be able to locate him wherever he went... "What about Amber..? Do you like that name?". "It's a wonderful name, my lord..." they spoke while gritting their teeth. Amber was their name before they were reduced to a mere spoiled brats favorite toy. Now it feels like it's happening all over again, but the god is pretending to have sympathy... but the human knew what kind of a monster this god could be...

"Do you still remember my name?" The god asks softly. How could the human forget? They literally carved their name into the humans' skin. "V-Vic-" they got sick before they could properly pronounce his name, a sure-fire way to get yourself into a heap of trouble, "Amber" stared at the sick on the gods hand and quickly attempted to clean it with what little clothing thry had on thier body "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so ashamed, please forgive me-" they were cut off by them being carefully lifted into their other hand " the god looked concerned, "Are you okay? Don't be scared it's alright" they spoke in the most sincere voice, which only worried the human more, what would they be punished with?? What was he going to do with them??

#g/t community #gentle giant #giant/tiny #gt community #g/t #giant tiny #giant #gt angst #angst #gt fearplay #fearplay #g/t related #gt writing #gt

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wholoveseggs · 7 months

Text

Mikaelsons & Marijuana

18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}

420 Followers

Hello my loves, I have reached the (very important) milestone of 420 followers! So I thought it would be a fun (& very stupid) idea to do some silly little headcanons about what kind of stoner each of the Mikaelsons would be...

♡♡ Ps. This is definitely the dumbest thing I've ever written, and I didn't tag anyone because I respect your time ~ lol ~ ♡♡

1k words - Warnings: drugs use

~☮~ Klaus ~☮~

- He smoked a lot of weed in the 18th century, mostly to just pass the time. It's not something he likes to make a habit of, because it makes him feel very human and that unsettles him.

- It somehow makes him more paranoid, but about stupid things, like, what if the reason he can't find a matching sock is because Kol is trying to make him think he's going crazy? Turn the family against him? Does Elijah really know what's in his shampoo?

- He will start a new painting every time he gets high, but never finishes it because he starts a new one when he's high again, and that one looks so much better, why would he finish this one when there's such a great one he can work on?

- He also gets really fascinated by the moon, he will just lay out on the roof or in the garden and just stare at it for hours. Wondering if he could survive the vacuum of space. Everyone ignores him when he gets like this, because they are afraid if he is even slightly encouraged, he’ll do it. Imagine him in charge of the ISS?? Terrifying.

~☮~ Rebekah ~☮~

- Her fav way to get high is through edibles. She will make a whole day out of it, baking the best treats and doing lots of self-care. It makes her very giggly and snuggly.

- She loves to take long baths when she's high, they make her feel like she's floating. She uses bath bombs, candles, rose petals, soft music, etc. Creating a relaxing environment for herself.

- She prefers to be alone, treats it a lot like meditation and will get a little annoyed if someone disturbs her.

- After all of the self-care she will put on her softest pajamas and sleep for at least a whole day.

~☮~ Kol ~☮~

- Kol is a bit of a scientist, always finding a new way to consume. He will try any form; smoking, vaping, edibles, drinks, dabs, tincture. You name it.

- He prefers to just smoke it, because it has the most powerful and immediate effect. He likes to see what it will do to his brain, or make him do. It makes him a very curious boy, he will test his own limits.

- As a witch, he will get his room all smoky and do stupid spells that will cause a light show. Sometimes the spells will even backfire on him and make him lose control of his limbs, or start levitating. It's pretty funny.

- As a vampire he gets incredibly horny and hungry, and often needs to be watched over so he won't go completely off the rails.

~☮~ Davina ~☮~

- Gets frightened and doesn't like the paranoia and lack of control. But sometimes she will try it with Kol and they will just cuddle and watch her favorite movies. He never pressures her to try it and always makes her feel safe.

~☮~ Elijah ~☮~

- Always refined, he will only smoke the best hydroponics mixed with the finest tobacco. It has to be premium and it has to be a very special occasion. He has to feel like he earned it, and that's difficult to do.

- He will spend a long time rolling it, making sure it's perfect. It's got to have just the right amount of weed, be perfectly shaped, the paper has to be perfectly smooth, the rolling motion has to be flawless and the filter just right.

- He can't stand the smell and will immediately shower afterwards, then he will get dressed up in his nicest suit, sit in his study and listen to classical music.

- If he gets really high he will want affection. He will lay with you and talk about some nonsensical philosophy, try to unpack things like the meaning of life. He will whisper poetry and kiss your cheeks. It's quite endearing, he gets all blushy and bashful.

~☮~ Marcel ~☮~

- He is always up for sharing, and always has the best bud on him. He will make it a very casual experience and offer some to the other vampire's that have been good to him. It's a time for everyone to unwind and chill for a little bit.

- He's definitely just a social smoker though, when he gets high alone he can fall into melancholy.

- He loves to get high with Rebekah, he will take her on the most elaborate and romantic dates, where they just eat an enormous amount of food... And maybe find someone to drink from together.

~☮~ Hayley ~☮~

- Has tried it a few times when hanging out with the werewolves. It makes her feel calm, and the colours around her just get brighter. She doesn't really understand it and isn't that into it, but she likes that she feels more connected to her pack.

- She likes to use CBD before she transforms into a wolf. It dulls the excruciating pain that comes from that, and she's grateful that it takes her mind off the torture for just a while.

- Jackson loves it, uses it in a spiritual way and is a very good guide for her on the matter. He makes her laugh and makes her feel safe when they are alone, sharing a joint, talking about life, and their plans for the pack.

~☮~ Freya ~☮~

- It freaks her out because it makes her feel sleepy and unfocused, which she does not enjoy at all. She finds it to be a waste of her time and feels like it could never be that enjoyable to be stoned all of the time, there are so many better ways to pass the time.

- But she will experiment with using it in her magic, and will make some potent edibles for her beloved sister. She does think it has some medicinal purposes.

- She is very fascinated by it, and will watch as the other's indulge. She will be the one to find Klaus watching the moon, it amuses her to see him so carefree.

~☮~ Esther ~☮~

- Didn't know exactly what it was one thousand years ago, but liked to add some to her tea. It would make the stress of living with Mikael much easier to deal with.

- Perhaps drank too much tea one day and had the genius idea to make her children immortal. Totally worked out well for her.

~☮~ Mikael ~☮~

- Would never, makes you weak and complacent. If you wanted to be so carefree and useless you might as well be dead.

~☮~ Finn ~☮~

- Tried it once, didn't inhale.

#elijah mikaelson #the originals #the vampire diaries #klaus mikaelson #tvdu #tvd #rebekah mikaelson #kol mikaelson #davina claire #freya mikaelson #hayley marshall #jackson kenner #marcel gerard #esther mikaelson #the mikaelsons #finn mikaelson #weed #drugs #cannabis

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atriza · 11 days

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The Broken Mask pt. 6 Yandere Five Hargreeves x Reader

Part 5

Summary: Y/N navigates the increasingly dangerous and manipulative relationship with Five. After enduring physical restraint, they appear to submit to his control, feigning obedience to avoid further harm. Five’s obsession deepens as he believes he has broken the protagonist’s will, transitioning from cruelty to a twisted form of tenderness. He allows them more freedom, trusting that they have accepted their place under his control. However, the protagonist remains determined to escape, carefully hiding their true thoughts and emotions behind a perfect mask of submission. As Five becomes more possessive, offering "rewards" for their obedience, the protagonist plays along, knowing that their chance for freedom is coming. They continue to play the dangerous game of survival, waiting for the right moment to strike.

Word Count:1,116 words

**Content Warning:**

This story contains dark and potentially distressing themes, including obsessive behavior, violence, manipulation, and psychological distress. It portrays a relationship that is unhealthy and toxic, where one character exhibits controlling and possessive tendencies that lead to extreme actions.

If you are sensitive to these themes or find them triggering, please consider skipping this story.

Have Fun Reading!

The cold bite of the metal cuffs still haunted your wrists, though they had been released hours ago. Your skin was raw and tender, a constant reminder of Five’s control, his obsession. The silence between you was thick and suffocating as he loomed over you, watching with calculating eyes. His gaze lingered in your wrists, then traveled up to meet yours, dark and unreadable.

"See?" He murmured, his voice soft but laced with quiet menace. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"

You forced yourself to remain still, not flinching as he reached for your wrists again, rubbing his thumbs over the red, bruised skin. His touch once rough and demanding, now held a gentleness that felt wrong. The lines between his lobe and his cruelty blurred, twisted into something incomprehensible.

"No," you whispered, lowering your head, keeping your voice submissive. " It wasn’t."

Five tilted your chin up, forcing you to look at him. His eyes searched your face, looking for any trace of defiance. Bur yiu had become an expert at hiding it. Every ounce of resistance was buried deep, hidden behind a mask of obedience. You had to play this carefully.

"You’ve learned, haven't you?" He asked, his voice deceptively soft. "You understand your place now."

You nodded slowly; allowing your lips to

quirk into a small, broken smile.

'I do. I'm sorry for defying you."

His lips curved into a satisfied smile,

and his grip on your chin softened.

"Good. Because I don't want to hurt

you, Y/N. But

will, if you force me to"

"I won't" you promised, your heart

pounding in your chest. "I've learned my

lesson"

Five's fingers loosened around your

wrist, and he finally let go, stepping

back to admire his work. The cuffs lay

discarded on the floor, but the invisible

chains that bound you to him were

stronger than ever. He believed he had

broken you, that you had surrendered to

his control

And that belief was your

greatest weapon.

He let out a soft sigh, brushing his hand

through his disheveled hair. "You’ve

been good today," he murmured, almost

to himself. His eyes drifted to the table,

where an untouched meal sat cold.

"You didn't eat earlier. You should eat."

You glanced at the food and nodded

slowly. "I wasn’t hungry, but I’Il eat now."

He watched as you made your way to

the table, his sharp gaze following your

every movement. You sat down

carefully, your hands trembling slightly

as you picked up the fork. Every bite

felt like swallowing sand, but you

forced yourself to chew, to play the role

you had crafted.

Five walked behind you, his hands

resting on your shoulders. The weight

of his presence pressed down on you,

suffocating and inescapable. He bent

down, his lips brushing against your ear

as he whispered "Im proud of you, Y/N."

The words sent a chill down your spine,

and you suppressed the urge to

shudder under his touch. "Thank you,"

you whispered, pushing another forkful

of food into your mouth.

He lingered for a moment longer before

straightening up, stepping away from

you. You heard the soft creak of the

floorboards as he moved across the

room, giving you space but never truly

leaving. His eyes were still on you,

watching every breath, every

movement, making sure that his control

over you was complete.

You took a deep breath, fighting the

urge to scream, to push the plate away

and run. But you knew that escape

wasn’t an option-not yet. Not until he

was completely convinced that you

were broken.

The next few days were crucial.

As you continued to eat in silence, Five

leaned against the wall, his arms

crossed over his chest. "You’re doing

well, but I think you still need more

time. We need to rebuild trust."

You nodded quickly, swallowing the

lump in your throat. "I understand."

He gave you a small, approving smile.

"Good. I'm glad we’re on the same

page."

Days passed, each one blending into

the next. You played your part

flawlessiy-obedient, quiet, never

pushing back. You let him hold you,

touch you, kiss you. His

possessiveness grew, and with it, a

twisted sense of tenderness. He

believed you had surrendered completely, that you were his and his alone.

Every night, he held you close, whispering dark promises in your ear as you lay beside him, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. And every night, you lay still, your heart racing with fear and determination.

"Y/N," he whispered one night, his voice soft in the darkness. "I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone the way | love you."

You swallowed hard, your voice small as you replied, "I love you too, Five."

He pulled you closer, his breath warm against your neck. "Do you really mean that?” His tone was almost vulnerable, a rare crack in his otherwise unyielding control.

"Of course,’ you whispered, forcing your voice to remain steady. "I’m yours. No one else matters.”

His grip tightened slightly, and for a moment, you thought he might doubt you. But then, he sighed contentedly and pressed a soft kiss to your temple. "Good girl."

The words made your skin crawl, but you kept your breathing even, your body relaxed against him. You were playing a dangerous game, but it was working. Slowly but surely, Five was beginning to trust you again.

Weeks passed, and your routine became almost normal. Five no longer locked you in the room. You had earned small freedoms—allowed to roam the house under his watchful eye, to sit in the garden with him, to talk to him without fear of punishment. But you were always aware of the invisible cage around you, the constant reminder that one wrong move would bring it all crashing down.

One evening, as you both sat on the couch, Five's hand resting possessively on your thigh, he turned to you with a thoughtful look.

"You've been good, Y/N," he said softly, his eyes flicking over your face. "I think you've finally accepted your place.’

You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest. "I have."

His fingers tightened on your thigh, a dark gleam in his eyes. "You're mine. Forever."

"Forever,’ you echoed, your voice barely above a whisper.

Five’s smile was slow, predatory, as he leaned in closer, his lips brushing against your ear. "I think it’s time for your reward."

You felt a chill run down your spine as his words hung in the air, thick with dangerous intent. "My reward?"

He nodded, his hand sliding higher up your thigh. "You've been so good for me. | think you deserve something special."

Your heart raced as his hand trailed over your skin, his touch possessive and unrelenting. You knew what was coming, and you steeled yourself for it. This was part of the plan. You had to keep him convinced. You had to let him believe that you were his completely. "Let me show you how much | appreciate your obedience,’ he murmured, his lips ghosting over your neck as he pressed you down onto the couch.

You swallowed hard, your body tense beneath him as he hovered over you, his eyes dark with possessive hunger. This was the moment you had prepared for, the moment where you had to give in—at least for now.

And so, you did. You let him claim you, let him take what he wanted, his touch rough and demanding as he reminded you, again and again, that you were his.

But even as your body obeyed, your mind remained focused, cold, calculating.

Because while Five believed he had broken you, you knew the truth.

The mask you wore was flawless, and soon, very soon, you would be free.

You just had to wait for the right moment.

#yandere umbrella academy #yandere fic #yandere story #yandere stories #yandere #yanderefive #yandere five hargreeves #five hargreaves x reader #five hargreeves #five umbrella academy #number five #the umbrella academy #tua #brellies

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silverstagspirit · 2 years

Text

Where have you been?

The start of a new series. Where Yuu has finally come home after a year in Twisted Wonderland and reunites with thier family. But things don't go back to normal though, people become suspicious about where they've been because they won't tell.

Warnings: None.

A/N: I'm still new to writing stories, this Yuu is intended to be GN but I apologize if I make any mistakes. This Yuu has an older brother, a mom and a dad. I don't know how to write younger siblings so I didn't include one.

Gif by WiffleGif

Yuu had made many friends in Twisted Wonderland. Their fighting spirit never ceases in their quest to get home. They had earned the respect of others and discovered amazing things on the way. Their fighting finally paid off when one day, the mirror announced that it had found a way home for them. At long last, they would see their family again.

"We'll find a way to keep in touch right?"

"I'm sure we'll figure something out. You go back to your world Yuu. Take care of yourself."

"Thanks Ace."

"You know you mean a lot to us Prefect. We respect your decision to leave and we'll never forget you. I wish you the best."

"Thank you too Jack."

"Bye minion. The Great Grim gives his praises to his most useful henchman."

"Goodbye Grim. Remember to study well."

With thier last words to them said and done, they stepped through the portal.

Stepping through the portal, their senses were lit up with a myriad of different colors before they felt themselves moving at breakneck speed. They were going so fast, yet they couldn't will themselves to scream. But then, just as fast as it started, it stopped. Yuu opened their eyes to find themselves in front of a large mirror in an old, abandoned house. They got up and looked around. The house looked as decrepit as Ramshackle when they first arrived in Twisted Wonderland. Albeit much smaller, more like a log cabin.

Going outside, they were met with the sight of a forest all around them. There was a path leading from the porch to somewhere covered in foliage. After clearing the thick brush with their bare hands, they uncovered another path. This one is leading much farther than before. Following the path down the hill eventually led them to a road. Not wanting to go back to the cabin, they made the decision to follow the road and hope it would lead them somewhere where they could get help. The thought had crossed their mind earlier that maybe it wasn't the right place. In that case, they made a mental note to remember their way back to the cabin if things got hairy.

Yuu walked for many hours. Their feet began to hurt. The mirror had replaced their NRC uniform with some other plain pair of clothes and a scarf. They were given some type of gum boots as shoes. which were convenient for when they were trekking through the brush, but now they were getting hot and uncomfortable the more they walked. They were grateful for the scarf, though, as well as the long sleeved outfit. There was quite a strong breeze blowing that made them shiver. The scarf also doubled as a way to keep prying eyes off of the scar on their neck left behind after Riddle's overblot.

It was after this thought that they came across a river near the road. With big rocks surrounding each side that made quite the photogenic spot. Yuu was utterly exhausted at this point, so they saw no harm in taking a small rest. They lurched their way to the river's edge with renewed motivation. Remembering a wilderness survival technique from their brother, they made sure to stay away from the still water that might be stagnant. Yuu made sure they didn't drink too much water because they did not look forward to having to pee in the bush if they didn't find a town soon. They even took off their boots and socks to dip their feet in the water.

Sometime later, they dried off, put their shoes back on, and continued on their way. It was all going fine until later they noticed something. It was starting to get dark, which made Yuu fidget nervously. It spelled bad news to be caught in the dark at a time like this. Thinking this, they quickened their pace. All the walking eventually led them to a street sign. The sign had many names on it, but there was one that stood out to them. The name of their town. There was a fork in the road with three ways to choose from. So they set off in that direction.

After about 5 minutes of walking, they were met with the sight of their town. They felt a huge wave of relief, knowing that this was the place. Remembering the way to their house, they continued their journey. It was now dark at this point. Down the hill and through the familiar roads they went. Some cars drove by, but they didn't need to flag them down at this point, for they knew where to go. There were no people out during this time of night. They were all in their homes. Making the atmosphere even more tense when they got to their street. They could see their house from here. They were almost there. Yuu crossed the road and walked up to their home.

The lights were still on, and they could hear people talking. The weight of the fact that they were finally here after half an entire year was now settling in. And they began to panic silently. What do they say? What will they say? After some breathing techniques learned from Vil, they stepped up to the door. They couldn't find their voice to speak yet, so they knocked three times. No answer. So they knocked again. A bit louder this time. This time, they heard something: footsteps coming up to the door. Yuu held their breath when the door began to open.

"Hello. Can I help yo-

CRASH

The glass their mother had been holding was now shattered and forgotten on the ground as she stared at them. Yuu couldn't make eye contact, but they knew she was shocked speechless. The commotion caused two more sets of footsteps to approach.

"Honey, what is i-

Their father and their brother appeared behind their mom and stopped dead in their tracks. They had the same looks on their faces as their mom. They kept staring at them as though they were an impossible thing. There was a moment of complete silence as they stared at them.

"...um...hi, I-

All of them ran towards Yuu at once. They hugged them like they would disapear if they didn't hold tight enough. They were all crying. Yuu stood there frozen. They themselves began tearing up. Then, for the first time since Twisted Wonderland. They let the tears roll down. They cried in their family's embrace and let the stress out. They could hear their parents mumbling words to them. However, they didn't have the energy to decipher it. They kept crying into their mother's shoulder, tears soiling her blouse. They eventually cried themselves to sleep, and their dad took them to their bedroom, the bedroom they had not slept in for months, and lay them on thier bed. They stayed with them for a while until they, too, had to go to bed.

Yuu was finally home.

Meanwhile, in Twisted Wonderland, the boys were already beginning to feel Yuu's absence. Even those who claimed they didn't care had a small pain in their chest when they were not there. It was during these moments when they wondered if they would ever see Yuu again...

And if there was a way for Yuu to come back.

PART 2

Taglist: @twisted-wonderland-but-gayer @naughtybodypillow

#twisted wonderland #twst #yuu #twst mc #bittersweet fluff

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martyrmystik · 7 months

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I think Tumblr needs to know about my dumbass Poppy Playtime AU I literally JUST made today so uhm... Here's the AU I've been hyperfixating on-

More information under the cut!

This is the first half of the Smiling Critters references (I loved making their designs omg)

Basically to summarize why they are a significant part in this AU:

This is an AU where the Smiling Critters survive, using anything and everything they can to continue to do so. It's a small resistance group (hence the AU name, "RESISTANCE") trying to fight against The Prototype! They still have their dynamics and everything else but they have more freedom to express themselves (hence, the clothes and accessories. And how Kickin' Chicken is wearing two bandana's because yes, he is extra.) AFTER the events of The Hour of Joy. By that time they were like what? 1st-2nd graders considering the experiments that were done? Now they are more like teenagers in this AU since I still follow the plot-line of the actual Poppy Playtime story taking place 10 years later-.

As for how the group works, everybody has their own little role and is in charge of something, they aren't made useless as it is a group based off of teamwork and friendship (despite the casualties.) Here's some of the roles they fall into:

(IF I SEE ANYBODY SEXUALIZE THESE CHARACTERS ISTG. THATS ICKY AND GROSS and I will make sure you get smited by lightning, because even if these guys are aged up THEY ARE STILL MINORS!!!)

Kickin Chicken: The vice president if you will, the leaders right hand man. (Because Dogday is the leader.) He's kind of full of himself but the confidence and pep talks help the team keep motivated, even if he is a bit self-centered

Bobby Bearhug: Assistant to Kickin Chicken (although they have a rivalry.) and also the medic. Is also the one who helps Dogday with anything considering in this AU he still has half of him torn off. (More on Dogday in his own section sometime later)

Hoppy Hopscotch: Basically explores the facility in any area at any time to gather new information on ways to try and get out (all of them are actively looking to escape btw!)

Craftycorn: Maps out stuff (maps, plans, other things) using her drawing abilities, although she also acts as the therapist friend because her art is soothing to others.

Bubba Bubbaphant: THE LITERAL. EMBODIMENT. OF. THE NERD EMOJI. He is a actual know-it-all which can come in handy but that makes him seem like a dick sometimes because of his knowledge.

Picky Piggy: I don't really have anything important to add to her, since I want to keep some of her lore a secret [might be revealed through the ask page I just set up for the AU on my page] HOWEVER she is the chef of the group and is literally the only one that can cook, if anybody else tried they'd all get food poisoning LMAO.

Here's some extra things in this AU that won't go in my other posts about this AU (maybe):

(So take notes if you want.)

- Catnap is redeemed, but it takes a VERY long time for him to get out of "old habits" as I'm going to word it. (Without spoiling too much of what I have planned.)

- I don't know what to plan for The Prototype yet but I'm talking with a couple of my mutuals on discord so maybe I'll figure it out eventually

- Dogday can normally stand and do other things because of the belts he has, however he can't put them on for too long (for like at max, more than 4 hours a day.) because they will wear into the plush, and he needs to put the belts on tight or they will come loose. He only uses such method when the group goes to hunt for food or similar activities, otherwise, he just uses a wheelchair when in the groups safe environment (the Playhouse!)

- This is going to be a shock to some people, but there is NO player character in this AU, not only is this a what if the Smiling Critters survived, but it's also a what if the player character never returned to Playtime Co.! This does come with some issues, like on how the asks are going to work, but trust me, I got everything taken care of when it comes to that!

- There also isn't really any shipping in this AU at all, I'm focusing on the story/friendship dynamics more than that, so if somehow you were looking for Dogday X Catnap this is, unfortunately not the place for that.

- This AU also has the personal interpretation of Dogday being part of the experiments some of the orphanage kids faced, as I don't really vibe with the idea that Dogday might be a Playtime Co. worker??? I don't know, I'm sticking with my idea for now but I will be keeping a close eye on canon if anything confirms or denies it, and I may adjust the AU accordingly if that's the case.

- Future posts may or may not contain other Poppy Playtime characters but the main focus is the Smiling Critters and The Prototype.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

References of Dogday and Catnap are already done but I may wait a bit on Tumblr to see how well this AU is being received :)

(I spent 6 hours on all references in total 😭😭😭)

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queen-of-deans-booty · 2 months

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There's No Place Like Home: Part One

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.9k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst

Summary: Charlie is back from Oz but she's not quite how Sam and Dean remember her. You're pretending to be on your best behavior, but you're making it clear that anyone who stands in your way is only going to end up hurt.

Season Ten Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

"LET ME OUT! I'm gonna kill you two!!" you yell from inside the dungeon.

Sam and Dean are in the library above and even through concrete floors and thick walls, they can still hear you. Not loudly but if it's silent, your words are pretty clear. You've been locked in the dungeon for the past month while they figure out what to do with you. They hear you bang on the walls, slam your body against the door, and yell at the top of your lungs, and Dean figures you'll tire yourself out sooner or later.

"What's going to happen if she manages to get out?" Sam asks.

"She won't."

"If she does?"

"She won't, Sam," Dean sighs.

"Humor me."

"I don't know, okay? I don't know what to do about my soulless wife. I don't know how I'm going to be able to heal her if she continues down this road. I don't know what's going to happen if the Mark wins. Sooner or later, she's gonna..." Dean doesn't even want to finish that sentence. "I don't know, Sam."

"Yeah," Sam whispers.

"This Mark is making her go insane piece by piece and I'm honestly afraid that I'll be too late. That I won't be able to purify her soul in time. That'll be my fault she's dead."

"Come on, you don't really think that, do you?" Dean sends a look to his brother who decides a change of pace is needed. "I liked the omelets you made this morning, and you slept past seven for once."

Dean appreciates what his brother is doing for him and he'll take the distraction even if it'll only work for a few hours.

"Thanks. Until we get answers on this Mark of Cain, I am on a twelve-step program not to backslide."

"Twelve?"

"Yeah. If Cain found a way to live with it after going dark side, then I just gotta find a way to keep it in check. I haven't had a drink in a week, eight hours of sleep every night, and now I'm making omelets."

"That's three steps."

"Shut up," Dean rolls his eyes and grabs his empty plate. "As soon as we get rid of this demonic tramp stamp, I am back on the booze, burgers, and more booze. Tell me you got something."

"I'm working on it," Sam sighs and goes back to researching.

Dean takes his brother's plate and walks it back to the kitchen with his own. Once he's alone, he touches the Mark worriedly. What's going to happen if he can't get to you in time? Will he have it in him to drive a knife through your heart? Would he be able to survive only seeing you in his dreams?

As the hours drag on, Dean and Sam notice it's been quiet in the dungeon. You either tired yourself out or you're planning an escape. Either way, you've shut up.

Dean joins his brother back in the library who has not moved from his spot. Instead of researching the Mark, he's watching something on his laptop that has him concerned.

"What the hell?" Sam mutters and leans in closer to the screen.

"Cain or Crowley?"

"Charlie."

"She's back from Oz? She didn't call?"

"I guess she's been busy. I've been looking into the news and checking for anything weird, right? I found this story about a torture vic. Apparently, some kid videotaped this at his next-door neighbor's house."

Dean watches the video but he's unsure what he's looking at. Though, he can clearly see it's Charlie.

"What are you saying, Charlie tortured someone?" Sam shrugs. "Our Charlie? Wouldn't hurt a Hobbit and practically sparkles?" Dean shakes his head and takes out his phone to call her. Though, she's not picking up. "Come on, Charlie. Pick up."

"The guy she went all psycho on is Peter Harper. He's a district attorney in Topeka. According to this article, he wasn't the only person in town that was hit. A court stenographer was assaulted the night before."

"She's not answering the phone," Dean sighs. "Charlie wouldn't go off on someone without a reason."

"Yeah, I wouldn't think so either, but look at the video."

"Oh, I'm looking at it, but you know what we do, taken out of context, it doesn't look that much different. She could be hunting." Sam sighs and Dean cracks his neck a few times. "Why don't we go talk to this asshat and see what's going on?"

"What about Y/N?"

"She's in time out. I'll have Cas pop in every few hours to make sure she hasn't chewed the doors off the hinges."

Sam leaves to get ready but Dean stays in the library a moment longer. He touches his mark when he starts to feel it burn slightly. You take a break from picking at the wall to look up at the ceiling where you know Dean is currently standing. Your mark is burning which can only mean his is, too.

A smirk grows on your face at the thought of it bringing pain to him.

Dean leans over just as his head starts to hurt, and he sits down so he can ride out this memory he never knows is coming.

God, I hate getting these. Not only am I forced to relive these moments a second time, I have to relive them through Y/N's eyes. There have been times when she's gone through it worse than I have. The things this woman has done for me to protect me are... I have no words for how amazing she is.

That's why seeing her like this brings me so much pain... knowing I can't do anything to help her.

I'm tied to a chair and see myself tied to the pillar Magnus tied me to in his invisible mansion. Magnus opens the glass container containing the Blade, and I wish to God I never took the damn mark.

"Should we fire it up?" Magnus smirks at Dean.

"Go to hell."

"Oh, come on, Dean. This is the object of your quest. Tell me Henry Winchester's grandson isn't curious to see if it works. Give me your hand." Dean doesn't do what he wants, and Magnus grows impatient. He grabs his hand forcefully. "Give me your hand!"

"Get off of him!" I yell.

Magnus forces the blade into Dean's hand, and almost immediately, Dean's mark starts to glow red. I've always known my mark connects me to Y/N but I never knew by how much until this very moment. I knew how that mark felt burning on my arm, but I never knew how much it affected my wife.

The longer Dean holds the blade, the more my own mark starts to burn. The veins on his arm glow the same color as the Mark, and I look down to see the same thing happening on Y/N.

"Stop it! You're hurting him!" I cry out in pain.

Magnus yanks the blade away from Dean so he can use it on me. Mangus walks over to me and shoves the blade into my hand. This unlocks a dark side to her magic that I will never be able to understand.

My entire body goes up in blue flames at the same time I let out a loud scream from the mourning sensation on my collarbone. Why is hers on her collarbone and mine on my arm? I've never understood that. For a split second, and it's gone as quickly as it comes, my body feels an evil presence. It's like the devil you read about in books is right behind me. I'm not sure what that is but it's gone before I can even think about it.

"Dude, you okay?"

Dean is pulled from his own head by Sam who has been tapping on his shoulder for the past minute.

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"Drop it, Sammy," Dean sighs and stalks off to his room to get ready.

After both men are ready, they leave you alone in the Bunker and head to Topeka which is only four hours away from the Bunker. If they have to come back because of you, they could do it quickly. The district attorney agreed to speak to Sam and Dean even though he's terrified since Charlie got away.

"Now, did you notice anything odd before the attack? Any strange smells or weird noises?" Sam asks.

"No, no, nothing. I was just at home here, getting ready for bed, and that crazy bitch jumped me. All she wanted to know was about some case that I worked on years ago--a drunk driver T-boned another car, killing the driver, and the passenger was declared brain-dead on the scene."

"The Middletons," Dean says. He did his research before coming over here. "They had a daughter who was twelve years old. They were on their way to pick her up."

"Yeah, that's right. How did you know?" Peter asks.

"We do our homework at the FBI."

"Then you know the case never went to trial. Before I could even see the evidence, it was off the books. All the files were sealed."

"How is that even possible?" Sam wonders.

"I don't know, but I looked into it this morning. There's no record of that case anywhere and the arresting officer has since passed away. There's nothing, except for this," Peter slides a file across the table to Dean, "the social service file on the Middletons' kid. It's not very helpful, to be honest with you. The kid has disappeared, until now."

"Is there anything else you can remember about the case? Any names you can think of?"

"No, like I told the police, it was a long time ago. I'm sorry."

There's something the man is hiding. If he was the lawyer on the Middleton case and didn't get to see the evidence, Dean doesn't think Charlie would go after him.

"Here's the thing," Sam smiles and walks closer to him, "we talked to the other victim on the way here. You know, the stenographer? She said the attacker didn't let her go until she gave up a name--your name."

"What does that have to do with me being attacked in my own home?" Peter stutters.

"What name did you give up?" Dean asks.

"Look, I told you everything I told the police. This woman comes in here, beats the shit out of me, but there's no name to give up, so I don't know what else to--" Dean shoves Peter's chair back so he is only balancing on the back two legs of the chair. "What are you doing?!"

"Talk, you son of a bitch!"

"Look, I'm the victim here!"

Dean makes a move to drop his chair backward but catches it at the last second.

"Talk!!"

"Okay! Okay!" Dean rights his chair and Peter rubs his hands nervously together. "After the files were sealed, I pushed. They offered me money... a lot of money if I'm to be honest."

"Give me a name," Dean glares.

"I will be disbarred!"

"That'll be the least of your worries, I promise you that."

Peter sighs and sags his shoulders in defeat.

"Councilwoman Barbara Cordry."

Barbra isn't as forthcoming as Peter was. She answered her door but she didn't let Sam and Dean inside her house. Whoever she is afraid of got her locked inside of her own house.

"Barbara Cordry?" Sam asks and knocks.

The door opens and the brothers can see suitcases packed by her front door. Not only is she scared, she's running.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes. I'm Special Agent Gabriel. This is my partner, Special Agent Collins. May we come in?" Sam asks.

"What's this about?"

"We have some questions about a drunk-driving case from a while back involving the Middleton family."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she quickly says.

"Ma'am, if we could just—"

"Sorry. I'm still on vacation," she cuts Dean off. "Feel free to schedule an appointment with my assistant. She'll pencil you both in."

She immediately shuts the door and the brothers look at each other while walking away from her house.

"Guilty much?"

"Yeah."

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

#dean winchester #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester angst #dean winchester fanfic #supernatural #supernatural fic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #supernatural angst #spn #supernatural series rewrite #supernatural season 10

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another-heroine · 1 month

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Six-Song Soundtrack

Im weak for this kind of game, so here we go!

Rambling about some context below the cut.

Rules: If you're tagged, make a new post with links to music and/or lyrics describing the following:

An event that defines your character's past:

I'll seek you out

Flay you alive

One more word and you won't survive

And I'm not scared

Of your stolen power

I see right through you any hour...

(Eyes on Fire – Blue Foundation)

How your character sees themselves:

There is no bad, there is no good

I drank every sky that I could

Made myself mythical, tried to be real

Saw the future in the face of a daffodil...

(Daffodil – Florence and the Machine)

How others view them:

Oh, the queen of peace

Always does her best to please

Is it any use?

Somebody's gotta lose...

(Queen of Peace – Florence and the Machine)

Their closest relationship (platonic or romantic):

Come just as you are to me

Don't need apologies

Know that you are worthy

I'll take your bad days with your good

Walk through the storm, I would

I do it all because I love you...

(Unconditionally – Katy Perry)

A major fight scene:

Eins, hier kommt die Sonne

Zwei, hier kommt die Sonne

Drei, sie ist der hellste Stern von allen

Vier, hier kommt die Sonne...

(Sonne –Rammstein)

End credits song:

This fantasy, this fallacy, this tumbling stone

Echoes of a city that's long overgrown

Your heart is the only place that I call home

Can I be returned? You can

You can, we can...

(Heartlines – Florence and the Machine)

Before leaving Irrisen, Katya was part of a local Resistance group and helped a lot of children and humble folk to escape of the Yaga’s daughters, giving them shelter and taking them to any of the neighbouring countries.

But one day her allies were ambushed by White Witches, and many died fighting and trying to shut the fire the hags spread in their safehouse.

Thus, the first song is about Ekaterina seeking revenge as soon as she heard the news.

Honestly, she doesn’t recall how exactly everything happened. Her senses only came back when she was in the halfway home, smelling soot, sweat and blood.

About how others see her... People mistake her kindness for weakness. She doesn’t care at all, Katya sees no point to prove they are wrong to think that she is able to forgive every single being who faulted her.

But there will be a moment when the queen of peace has to draw her weapons.

About the major scene fight... I can’t choose other song but Sonne. Especially the slowed version.

And for the end credits: she just wanna start again. Maybe baking bread like Anevia or taking care of a garden. Peace and healing for her, her beloved ones and the community.

#ekaterina grushankaya #sorry im tired and must have killed some english gnomes #anyway #pwotr pals

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adversityfought-a · 2 years

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// *PARTNER TAG DUMP. 2 / ? 🪴🪴🪴

❝ We'd play with shields made of stone . Share our dreams & sit our thrones. ❞ . ( OATH OF PROMISES )

❝ We fight every night for something. When the sun sets - we're both the same. ❞ . ( DESTALLO )

❝ Evened the scores then I let it all go fall apart. ❞ . ( PRCGENY )

❝ One more word & you won't survive. I see right through you any hour. ❞ . ( HXNK )

❝ Strong enough to stand - protecting both your heart & mine. ❞ . ( FLOVRAELIES )

❝ Old friend - don't you see me. With my soul on my sleeve & my heart left to beat. ❞ . ( DARCKCARNIVAL )

❝ Turning the nightlights on in the daytime to scare. If this is the moment now to ask do we dare? ❞ . ( MUSE MENAGERIE )

❝ Now we have right to be the masters of the tangles of disaster. ❞ . ( PIZZA KING DWIGHT )

#// *TAG DUMP.#❝ We'd play with shields made of stone . Share our dreams & sit our thrones. ❞ . ( OATH OF PROMISES )#❝ Evened the scores then I let it all go fall apart. ❞ . ( PRCGENY )#❝ One more word & you won't survive. I see right through you any hour. ❞ . ( HXNK )#❝ Strong enough to stand - protecting both your heart & mine. ❞ . ( FLOVRAELIES )#❝ Old friend - don't you see me. With my soul on my sleeve & my heart left to beat. ❞ . ( DARCKCARNIVAL )#❝ Turning the nightlights on in the daytime to scare. If this is the moment now to ask do we dare? ❞ . ( MUSE MENAGERIE )#❝ Now we have right to be the masters of the tangles of disaster. ❞ . ( PIZZA KING DWIGHT )#❝ We fight every night for something. When the sun sets - we're both the same. ❞ . ( DESTALLO )

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spaghettificationandpretzels · 2 months

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The Glass Merchant Part Six

Masterlist

Part Five

@rayslittlekitten @red-orchid @videnoirfics @laurfilijames

Contains:Fluff, mild angst.

4.2K words

The storm rages on

"What about wildlife protection patrol?" Kai never thought he would be going from considering how to slide into Minna's pants to talking about employment prospects in the space of half an hour, but he was.

Her first suggestion was mechanic, but he had no desire to spend any more time around ships, then firefighter, but he found the thought of fire being a problem on a water planet laughable. "What do they do?"

She sorted through the papers, placing one of many information pamphlets on the table. "You pick water or land patrol, then you spend your days looking for poachers and hurt or sick animals. Most days you won't do anything other then tell people to behave themselves around the wild animals and sometimes you'll get into shoot outs with heavy armed poachers who will stop at nothing get get what they've come for."

He almost liked the sound of that, spending his days lazing in the beauty of her planet with the occasional spattering of excitement. He wondered if she knew how close her suggestion was to his old life before the war ended, and she could see the thoughts cross his face. "What?"

He broke eye contact, unsure of where to start, but if he was really going to leave his life and stay here with her, she had to know everything. "I was a bounty hunter before the war, I was just thinking that it's kinda like that."

She nodded. "Yeah, I guess it is." She paused, looking over him regardingly. "Can I ask who you worked for?" The look on his face said it all, and she backtracked. "I'm not going to judge you, don't worry."

He sighed. "I worked for who paid me. I did my best to stay away from Motherworld jobs but.."

She placed her hand on his. "But you can't say no to them. I get it." She took a deep breath. "I created a disease that could have wiped out the universe Kai, I'm in no place to past judgement. We all did what we had to do to survive."

He played with the colourful piece of paper and sighed, the massive expansive of blue and green in the photos did look appealing. "That's settled then, where do I sign up?"

She shuffled around for more papers and placed a small stack in front of him. "I think you're making the right choice."

It went on like that for hours, the back and forth through every decision he had to make until the mail drone was back at the front door to take everything away. It was well into the night by the time they finished, and Minna stretched her arms above her head with a groan. "By the Gods it's late, we should turn in for the night."

Kai agreed, he felt as exhausted as she looked. "I like the sound of that." He swaggered over to her, wrapping his arms around her body as he looked down at her with a smile. "I guess we'll have to pick up our plans from earlier tomorrow."

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head slightly as she brushed a stray hair from his face. "Why don't you start bunking with me?"

He smirked, doing his best to play it cool while his heart leapt in his chest. "Alright."

She waved her hand towards the stairs. "Shall we head up then?" He smiled and nodded and she took his hand, leading him up the stairs to the second level. She let him go as she opened one door, it was built like a vault door with a huge tumbler in the middle and he almost felt the house shift as it opened. The second door that greeted him was more normal, a beautiful deep wood covered in colourful painted flowers and birds.

She pushed the door open, and the smell of everything that was her hit him as he walked into the room. It was one of the largest in the house, with a huge white wood bed in the middle, its post and a plush canopy decorated with delicate painted vines. There was a dark wood vanity in one area, covered in little glass bottles and jars. Unlike the rest of the house with its hardwood floors, it was covered in soft, lush carpet that felt like clouds under his feet. There was something strange in another section was a strange box and he could see Zephy sleeping, curled up inside.

There was a decent amount of storage, dressers and wardrobes galore, and beautifully carved and fitted to the rounded edges of the room. She pointed to a door and yawned. "Bathroom's through there. I'm just going to get ready for bed then it's all yours."

He sat down on the bed and waited, taking in his surroundings as he listened to her potter around. When the door opened and she stepped out, he was greeted by the sight of more of her bare skin than he had ever seen, and he found himself unable to know where to look. The lights dimmed with her soft touch to the wall, and she walked over, climbing into bed with a sigh as he hopped up. "I'll be five minutes."

The bathroom was no different to the rest of the house, and he found himself marvelling at all the stained glass. Everything looked so full of life, even the bathtub was pretty, and he was soon realising that a life with Minna would be one filled with vibrant colour and unyielding beauty. He smiled as his eyes landed on the marble of the sink, she had left a fresh toothbrush out for him, and there was a hairbrush that certainly wasn't meant for her curls next to it.

He indulged, taking time to enjoy the pleasant peace and quiet of Minna's bathroom. When he came out, she was propped up on the pillows, a pair of round glasses on her face as she read in the lamp light. "You ready for bed?"

He nodded, and she lifted the blankets for him to climb in next to her, and if he thought his bed was soft, he knew nothing, he could feel the tension bleed from his body as he lay down. Her silk pyjamas were just a pair of shorts and a singlet, the lace at the edges accentuating her body. They settled together, and Kai felt a wave of sleepiness come over him as Minna nestled into her many pillows. He turned from his back to his side, facing her and stretching out to lay his arm across her body as she shifted closer to snuggle with him. "You comfortable?"

He smiled. "Very." She reached behind her and tapped the headboard, and a drawer popped open to reveal a hidden blaster. She looked at it for a moment, checking something on the gun, then closing the drawer back up and taking a deep breath. "You good?"

She sighed and turned to her side, nuzzling into his arms as he closed them around her. "Old habbits."

He understood those. "Like that crazy door out there?"

She nodded, her voice rough with sleep. "Yeah, nothing's getting through there without us knowing."

She clapped, and the lamps switched off, and Kai chuckled. "Handy."

He felt her lips on his chest through his shirt. "Very. Goodnight Kai."

He pressed his lips to the top of her head as sleep took him. "Goodnight Minna."

****

When Kai awoke up the room was still pitch black, but that meant nothing; the darkness had more to do with the fancy glass above them that seemed to understand that they were still in bed rather than the fact that the sun had yet to rise. He rolled over, turning the dial of the lamp on his bedside table to the lowest setting, planning on enjoying some quiet time with his thoughts until Minna woke up.

He looked over at her, she had turned to face the other side in her sleep and his eyes caught sight of something disappearing into her top. She had a scar, thin and long, starting from her left shoulder and disappearing into the fabric. It looked old, older than the war, and like it really hurt. He reached out, his hand working without his brain and ran a finger over it. "I got keeled by an illegally modified fishing boat when I was fourteen."

She didn't shift away from his seeking touch and he made no attempt to stop his exploration. "Shite, that musta hurt."

She all but pressed in his hand as he ran a finger up and down the imperfection. "No, the last thing I remember was the water getting really warm all of a sudden. Hannah, the woman who walks with the cane, was there too, she couldn't pull herself out of the channel in time and the boat crushed her pelvis. Had we had less responsible friends, we both would have died, they all jumped in to pull us out."

He moved his hand to her shoulder and she spun to face him. "What happened to the guys in the boat?"

She rested her head on his chest and took a deep breath. "They were already running for wildlife protection, it made the news, they got out of prison just after the war ended."

He smiled, she had explained to him that everyone on her little island had grown up together and had always been friends, and it was beginning to make sense why they were all so close. "Well, Love, if it makes you feel any better, that scar is totally bad arse."

She laughed but it was cold and bitter and her tone was almost cruel. "Yeah, it extends all the way down to my right hip and I got a lot more where that came from." She blinked and the only thing keeping her from pulling away was Kai's arm holding her to him. "I'm sorry." She paused and took a deep breath. "The last man to see me naked wasn't very kind."

He didn't know whether to feel rage or sadness, and it was hard to settle for both. "Well that's his loss then, isn't it?" She relaxed back down and he held her tightly. "You're very beautiful, I should be telling you that more often."

She smiled and lifted her head off his chest, kissing him as he pulled her even closer. She rolled on top of him, and he felt excitement rush up his spine as her lips made their way to his neck, but like always, something interpreted them, this time, it was the ceiling slowly becoming clear as the merger grey light came in. Minna huffed and rolled off him, flopping over onto her back. "We have so much to do today."

He sighed, hoping he could convince her to stay. "Yeah, what's that?"

She pushed herself up and leaned against the headboard. "All you lessons for one, then we're having another community dinner and we need to start planning for the forest festival." She smiled and leaned over, her lips brushing his as he spoke. "We can pick this up tonight."

He placed his hand on the back of her head and closed the distance, kissing her with a smile before pulling back. "Well then, the faster we start the day, the faster it will be over."

****

"Ok, one, two." Minna grinned as Kai placed his hands on her hips and lifted her off the ground, he had picked up the dance awfully fast, even if his thoughts kept drifting. "That was really good."

He smiled. "Ay, I haven't danced like this since my school formal."

She gave him a funny look. "I don't know what that it but ok."

He jumped at the chance to finally explain something to her for once, and her perplexed smile filled him with joy. They started again, going over each step until it was perfect, and they were covered in a light sheen of sweat. She poured him a glass of water, and they sat on the weight bench while they caught their breath. "What's next Love?"

She sighed. "You have to study for work."

"Well, lucky I live with a biologist then, isn't it. I don't have to do any work." There it was again, the eye roll tinged with affection that made him feel ten feet tall.

She huffed. "I'll help, but I'm not doing anything for you."

He smirked and pulled her into his arms. "But the sooner I finish the sooner we can…."

She bopped him on the nose and smiled. "No, I have to cook for the community dinner and start on the decoration for the festival." She stood up and put out her hand. "Come on, you might enjoy yourself."

Kai let Minna pull him up and then, with a grin, spun her around the room while she giggled. "Alright but you better make it worth my while."

She crooked her finger at him, beckoning him closer as she took his chin between her thumb and the fourth finger of her free hand. She stood on her tippy toes, brushing his lips with hers as she spoke. "Don't worry, I will."

****

Kai could smell the wonderfully savoury rice dish cooking on the stove all the way in her third floor work studio. He wasn't really focusing on the books in front of him, he was too busy watching her create tiny little stained glass lights for the festival. Every now and then her eyes would flit to him, and she'd sigh before redirecting him with a question about something living on the planet, but no matter how many questions she asked, he always found himself drifting back to watching her.

"Can I ask a question Love?" He was amazed at each movement of her fingers, maybe she could teach him this next. "Then I promise I'll apply myself."

She sighed. "Sure."

"How'd you get into this? I mean it's very different from biology." There was something so magical about the way she worked, he had to know where her talent came from.

She smiled softly. "It was a hobby I picked up as a teenager. Funnily enough, most of the glass industry here is focused on the smart glass that makes our buildings, the old stuff doesn't get much attention." She put her work down and spun her chair towards him. "After the war, the government put billions into restoring art and music and I didn't want to go back to the lab so it felt like a good fit."

He took her hand in his, lifting it to his lips before kissing each fingertip. "I, for one, am happy you picked this career path."

His grip was soft enough that she was able to pull away and place her hand on his cheek, and he nuzzled into her palm as she leaned in for a kiss. It was soft, his hands holding her face as she held onto his neck.

She pulled back, rubbing his nose with hers as she spoke. "Did that satisfy you?" He nodded, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "Good, now back to your books."

He smiled and sighed. "Ah, Love, I can't get anything by you."

"Nope." She pecked his cheek and, without another word, turned back to her work.

When they walked through the doors of the community hall for dinner that evening, everyone greeted Kai like an old friend, the massive oval table welcoming him and Minna to take a seat and fill their plates.

The conversation drifted throughout the night, and he found excitement for their plans for later fading into the background as he grew closer to Minna's neighbours. As the dinner wound down, there was a visible change in the sky, the occasional flashing of white light and bursts of furious sound through the pitter-patter of the rain suddenly stopped, and then the shy erupted in blue and purple and green lighting while sonorous thunder filled the air.

Everyone looked up and Minna's eyes went wide as her head tilted towards the ceiling. Kai wasn't sure what was going on, just that everyone around him seemed totally fascinated. "It's a Luna storm, I haven't seen this since I was a little kid."

She sounded dreamy and reached out to loop her arm in his as the show continued. After a few moments, a cheeky smile appeared on her face and she directed him towards the door. "Come on, we can watch the rest at home." She all but pulled him through the door, their goodbyes rushed as some of the adults smiled knowingly.

They made it to her house in record time and she shoved him inside, practically bouncing towards the kitchen, only stopping to speak to him briefly. "Go upstairs and get ready for bed, I have something you're really going to enjoy."

He didn't have time to ask what she was doing so he did as he was told. She entered the bedroom while he was showering and he could hear here moving around the bedroom before there was a beep, and the opaque cast on the ceiling disappeared to reveal the brilliant colours above him. She brushed by him in the doorway when he walked out, clearly in a rush to prepare for whatever she had planned. Something different was happening because right in the middle of the floor was a pile of pillows and blankets, and off to the side was a bowl and a strange smoking contraption similar to the ones he had seen in drug bars.

A burst of steam flared from the bathroom when Minna walked out and she ushered him towards the middle of the floor. "Trust me." She settled, and he got comfortable next to her, waiting for her to explain as she fiddled with the pipe. "You know how you asked me if that medication would give you a buzz and I said I'd hook you up if that's something you want?"

He nodded, and everything started to make sense. "Ay Love, is that what this is?"

She smiled. "Yep." She stuffed a bright orange herb in one chamber and lit the other, taking a breath from the mouth piece before handing it to him. "You only need one hit."

It hit him softly, a bleeding of warmth that started from the tips of his toes and spread upwards. He relaxed into the pillows and passed the pipe back to her as she smiled. "Now look up."

He understood why she was so excited to do this, the drum of the thunder began to feel like the heartbeat of a gaint animal, lulling him into fuzziness all the while the lightening somehow became shaper and softer all at once. "Cool right?"

"Ay." She linked her fingers in his and snuggled close, and he felt every ounce of tension fade from his body. Time seemed to blend into itself and he felt Minna shift as she moved the pipe out of the way before nesting into his embrace. He continued to watch the lights dance above his head, slowly being rocked to sleep by every clap of thunder. He wasn't sure how long it took, but after a while, her breaths evened out and he found himself being pulled into sleep along with her, only managing to utter out a goodnight and hear her mumbled reply before he slipped into pleasant darkness.

****

"Morning."

Kia opened his eyes to find Minna sitting up next to him and he was surprised that despite that fact that he had slept on the floor all night, he had no aches and pains. "Good morning, you sleep well?"

She nodded. "Like a baby, you?"

He grinned and stretched. "Yeah, I don't know what you gave me, but it was great."

She chuckled. "Vermilion joy root, it's actually quite good for you." She yawned and pushed herself to standing, grabbing his hand and taking him with her. "Come on, we gotta start the day."

He sighed and pulled her into his arms, very aware that he had just spent another night having not touched her like he wanted to. "You're killing me here, our plans keep getting derailed."

She pressed her lips together to hold back a laugh and shook her head. "Well honey, I had to break it to you but the festival in five days and you have so much to learn so we're not going to have time to do anything, unless you're ok with rushing it."

He hadn't been this frustrated in a very long time but rushing was the last thing he wanted to do. "Alright,what's on the agenda today?"

She ran her hand up and down his arms and sighed. "I have another shift at the med bay in the afternoon but we've got time for languge lesson this morning."

He smiled. "That sounds great."

They had settled into a routine as Kai got more comfortable with his new home and got used to life's rhythm. He had taken over the care of the garden, the hour or two in the covered rows giving him much needed time to think. But Minna was right, between her shifts at the medbay and catching up on glass work, all the learning and training he had to do for his new job, learning her language, taking care of the house and preparing for the forest festival each night they would collapse into bed in bone deep exhaustion.

The morning of the festival brought a marked change in pace, but it also brought a shift in her demeanour, it seemed that the sadness that had slowly vanished from her over the last week was back, and she laid in bed blinking at the prettily painted canopy as he watched on in worry. "Is everything alright Love?"

"I.." She shurgged. "It's a long story."

She looked like she had the world's weight on his shoulders, and he felt that if he couldn't ease it even for a moment, it might crush him. "Tell me."

She rolled over, all but draping herself over him and burying her face in his neck. "Usually, we spend the morning on the lost one's island, under the passing trees, but we can't." The lost one's island was where the people of Hydromoran buried their dead, each family being assigned a passing tree at random to plant their ashes. At first, he thought it was strange that people were buried with others they didn't know, but the more time he spent on the planet and understood how they felt about death, the more he realised it was a way to keep the memory of the dead alive.

He couldn't imagine the significance of what she was feeling. If a departed person had no one left to mourn them, then that duty went to another person who attended the same tree, he knew because of the war, Minna didn't just have her loved ones to wish well in the afterlife. He felt his neck get wet, and when her voice returned, it trembled. "I've never gone a week without going there, I miss talking to them."

He wrapped his arms around her. "We'll go when the storm passes, we can spend the whole day there if you want."

She looked up from his neck, her eyes wet as they locked with his. "You'd do that for me?"

He lifted a hand to her face, wiping a tear away from her cheek. "Ay, I do anything for you."

She took a deep breath, putting herself back together before smiling softly. "Thank you." He storked her cheek with the side of his fingers and she dropped her head to kiss him as he responded with a loving squezze to her hip with his free hand.

A moment passed and she pulled away, yawning and cracking her back as she rolled her shoulders. She threw her legs over the bed and smiled as he came up behind her, running his hand along her clavicles while he nosed along her neck to speak into her ear. "I'm excited for tonight."

She giggled. "You just want to see me in a dress again."

He grinned and pressed a kiss to the side of his face. "Guilty as charged." He jumped up and extended his hand. "Come on Love, let's get you fed so we can start the day."

She took his hand with an affectionate eye roll. "Yay, hanging decoration and cooking till out fingers bleed, how fun."

He yanked her into his arms, spinning her around till she began to laugh. "Bu then, we get to dance."

She sighed and nodded. "Yes, I suppose you're right."

They hardly saw each other after breakfast, passing each other in the walkways and the doorway of the house, their arms ladened with things as they helped the rest of the island prepare festivity. By mid-afternoon, with the start of the festival coming in an hour, Kai took a break while Minna continued to race around. She ran in with the women and teenage girls of the island in tow, all of them giggling with their dresses in their hands as Minna collected hers. She paused, flitting over him with a wide smile and pecking his lips. "See you in an hour, yeah?"

He grinned. "Ay, I can't wait."

Part 7

#rebel moon #rebel moon part one a child of fire #fix it fic #kai rebel moon #kai rebel moon/ofc #Kai rebel moon/original female character #the glass merchant #charlie hunnam

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macravishedbymactavish · 1 year

Text

Logan Walker x F! Reader

TW: Typical COD violence, swearing, everyone's a fair bit traumatized after the Canon Ghosts ending

Chapter 01

It was silent, tense in the room. You leaning against his desk, while he sat on the edge of his bed avoiding your gaze.

"Talk to me" you whispered, ignoring the internal moral debate inside you pushed, "let me in".

Part of you believed this was selfish. Prodding and prying at any loose board in his barricade, trying to find a way in to an area he clearly didn't want you to see. He's been through hell and back! He'll open up when he's ready to.

The other part argues that hell is not a place but rather a mindset. An eternal downward spiral that he won't be able to get out of himself. So we let him drown? Let the demons pull him under and make him forget which way is up?

"I can't". It was a broken whisper, you held back the sad sigh as his hands cradled his head. Fingers weaving and gripping lightly at his short hair. "I won't." Won't put you through everything I've endured. Won't give you the same trauma and mental scars.

"Why not?" Right as the words left your mouth, you were kicking yourself. Fighting a grimace as you watched his fingers tighten, his shoulders roll further forward. Even the length of his hair is a stark reminder at what they took. The knotting and matting made it inhumane to try and brush out. Your heart broke when he admitted to you that he barely recognized himself after they shaved it off.

"Because you won't understand." He answered through gritted teeth, taking in a sharp breath. "You will never understand what I've been through". When his gaze finally met yours, you saw the redness surrounding his eyes, the tears staining his cheeks, the face of the beaten down, broken, damned boy who just wanted to do some good.

Without saying a word, you slowly took a step forward and kneeled in front of where he sat. Hand reaching up to touch his knee.

You can't deny the pain that shot through your heart when he flinched away from your touch. Moving to sit against the wall, knees curled into his chest as he once again looked anywhere in the room but at you.

"You've been through more than anyone I know; I'll never understand the exact extent of what you've been through....but please. Let me help. Let me in" you pleaded. Blinking back your own tears, leaning backward on your knees as you saw him shake with each inhale.

"I'm a monster. I'm the ghost killer" he started, tears falling freely as he stared at one of the old posters he had hanging in his room. "I'm not who you know anymore. That much should be clear" he gestured toward your wrist -- which was still in a brace from an incident that happened over a month ago. A week after he was rescued.

"You and I both know that wasn't intentional. You were acting out of survival" you pressed.

Weeks prior

"It's so surreal, having him back" you whispered, eyes trained on the sleeping figure beside you. It had been a rough week to say the least, Logans body still in fight or flight (often choosing fight). The amount of required sedation becoming less and less each day.

"You're telling me" Hesh mumbled, sitting in the far corner. Close enough to know his brother was alive, far enough to expose the guilt he harbored. "I've got training in about 10 or so minutes with the new recruits for Delta squad". He always had trouble staying for too long lately, the belief that he caused this for his brother overwhelming.

"Of course. I'll be here, the others will be by later on I'd imagine". There was seldom a time during the day when Logan's room wasn't occupied by a visitor. Even sedated the Ghosts refused to let him be without his family for too long, he had enough of that for one lifetime already.

Minutes turned into hours, as you sat in the chair beside the bed reading. Focused on the chapter, you didn't notice the movement from the bed. That is until he was directly in front of you.

"Logan?" You looked up, giving him a soft smile as you put the book aside. "What's going on love?" Your eyes scanned over him. His posture tense, breathing hard and he looked terrified.

"Logan. What's going on?" You asked again, slow and concerned. Not expecting him to suddenly swing, and a sharp pain below your left hand. You cussed loudly, shoving against his chest. "What the hell?!" You screamed, hearing the rushed footsteps of the medical staff come in before he could do much more. Tears streaking down your face, as his scream of pure horror engraved itself into your mind. Like an animal cornered.

"Are you alright? You're bleeding" you heard one of the nurses ask, gesturing toward your arm. You shrugged, letting her lead you to get examined.

Stab wound to left forearm. You're off all duty for at least a month.

"Is that really what you're telling yourself?" He spat, glaring daggers at you.

"It's the truth. You've come so far since then Logan." He really did. For the last week you've been sleeping in the same bed again. His smile was so bright the first morning after, whispering that he was finally finding some normalcy in his life after everything that happened.

Then today happened.

"Keep telling yourself that then." He whispered, tone cold as he pushed himself off the bed and left the room. Leaving you kneeling on the floor shaking, it's just one bad day. These days happen.

"How are you holding up?" You heard Merrick ask, as he walked in the kitchen to where you were currently brewing a tea. Hoping the warm liquid would calm your nerves.

"It's a bad day. It happens. We work through them" you shrugged, bobbing the teabag in the water with two fingers on your left hand, while the other gripped the cup. Sapping up the warmth.

"It's not your responsibility to bare, kid. It's not your responsibility to fix him" you paused at his words. Knowing to some extent he was right.

This entire year had taken a massive toll on the entire team. Though nobody wanted to admit it.

Hesh was terrified. He can't even try to imagine losing his last family member for a second time. He can't fail like that again. So he unconsciously distances himself, using work and the ongoing war against the Federation as his coping mechanism. Can't stew in the memory of watching your younger brother get pulled away by the enemy while you sit helplessly if you're constantly working.

Keegan was....well Keegan. A good man in a storm, calm within the chaos. Or just really good at masking his emotions. Twice now he held his friends and teammates while they've been close to death or dying. It takes a toll on you, but helps you respect life while you have it.

Merrick is figuring out everything as he goes. Only taking time to feel the hurt, fear and range of emotions in the dark of night. He lost someone who he considered his mentor and brother, then a teammate his first mission in the commander role. But as heavy is the head that holds the crown, he can also see his team struggling to keep afloat. So emotions aside while they need him.

"I know. I'm not trying to fix him" you whispered, not able to find any arguments to prove the point. Knowing that you're lying through your teeth. God what would you give to have your Logan back. What you would give to take his hurt away and ensure he never went through any of this again. "We had a bad day, but working through it". You felt yourself shaking, holding in the emotions that threatened to boil over. There's been so many bad days since he's been back. The bad days are beginning to outweigh the good...

"Shit!" You snapped, boiling hot tea spilling onto your hand. Tears now falling freely, only half related to the physical pain you were experiencing. Your mind numb now that everything was finally spilling into tears as you were guided to the sink. Cool water now replacing the burning sensation as an arm wrapped around your shaking shoulders.

"I just want him back." You sobbed softly, not needing to explain your point as you were squeezed tightly.

"We all do" Merrick started with a soft sigh. "We're all in this together, you know that. You can't help him before yourself". You closed your eyes, hating that he was right.

"Not that I expect you to listen, but don't take this responsibility all on your own. And remember anything he says in the moment isn't about you. Like the doctors told us. It's going to be a long, slow process" you nodded. Feeling your heart sink into your stomach.

"We'll be okay. All of us" you have never hoped for your commander to be right more than you did in this moment.

Taglist: @bloodonmyhands-1221

#call of duty ghosts #logan walker #logan walker x reader #cod logan #keegan p russ #call of duty ghosts fanfiction #comearoundfic

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paws-writes-aot · 2 months

Text

Of Devils and Monsters: Chapter One

Summary:

Fate brings two old friends together again and sets them on the path to truth. In a last ditch effort to save her own skin, Lozen Daniella Pierce reaches out to an old friend in hopes of gaining her freedom. In doing so, she and Erwin Smith find themselves thrust on a path to truth- the truth behind the walls, behind secret organizations, and the truth of who they turned into

Content tags:

Graphic Depictions of Violence; Major Character Death; Canon-Typical Violence; Denial of Feelings; Feelings Realization; Childhood Friends; Snippets of Erwin's time in the cadets; OC is Messy and Complicated; Pre-Canon Canon; Love Triangle Adjacent; Smut; Fluff and Angst; Dominant Erwin Smith; Protective Erwin Smith; Shift in POV; mentions of residential schools; OC is indigenous-coded; more tags to be added

Words Count for Chapter: 4,782

Cross-posted from Ao3

And once the storm is over you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about.” - Haruki Murakami, "Kafka on the Shore"

“What are you doing out here?”

The boy startled at the edge of a lake, not realizing until that moment he was being watched. With the heel of his left palm, he wiped away the rogue tears before looking over his shoulder at the newcomer.

Peering out from behind the trunk of a large sycamore tree was a girl, around his age, studying him with predatory eyes that picked up on every twitch and tick. Accusatory and suspicious eyes that shifted to curiosity as he met her gaze. Her head cocked slightly to the right.

“You’re crying.” It wasn’t a question, and despite the raspy tone, gruff in its use, there was no malice or judgment in the statement. Just a childlike inquisitiveness that provided insight into how his peers must see him. The boy’s face felt hot, being caught in what was meant to be a private moment of grief, vulnerable and raw. He’d come out to the spot his father had taken him to camp a few times- away from prying eyes and ears- for that very reason.

He snapped his attention back to the lake, its surface rippling in the autumn breeze, swaying the reflection of the forest canopy. His hands balled into fists at his sides as he hiccuped.

“I’m not-”

“Are you okay?” The girl was at his side, staring out at the water. How did she move so silently so quickly?

All protests that licked his tongue faded at the slight shift in her tone. It reminded him of nights spent by the fire, listening to the stories his father would read to him out of old books- ones that weren’t shared with other school children-those were the times his imagination would run wild with possibilities to create his own stories, beyond the walls. Grief came flooding back to him, an anchor tied to his shoulders with the realization those nights were gone.

“My father. He-” a sniffle and another hiccup caught his speech, “he’s dead.” He tore his attention from their reflection on the lake and towards his shoes, not wanting to see her reaction as the confession seemed to take a life of its own. “He was killed.”

New reality took shape, finally vocalized, and any semblance of control he had was gone. That tether had snapped after hours of tension and force as he went to school in his new normal, where a stranger was at the front of the class, reading verbatim from the textbook. One where he had to use all of his stamina to pretend it was a regular day and not the first on his own. His eyes burned as his vision began to swim.

“Why?”

Tears broke the precipice and began flowing freely as a sob left him and he collapsed back to his knees. Sorrow stole the reins from him as words continued to spill out. “I- he- I told my class about his theories- challenged our history. How pieces were missing and how pieces didn’t line up.” Even now, as he yelled internally at himself to shut up, it was impossible to stay quiet. “It was all my fault! I should’ve known better and kept my big mouth shut and let people pretend to believe in some fake narrative designed to keep us contained and happy behind the walls.” The boy cradled his face in his hands, trembling. “I should’ve known better-”

“Well, duh!” The girl was kneeling beside him now, hugging her legs, and despite the glare leveled at her from beet red eyes, she continued, “They forbid old books for a reason, you know. Can’t have people dreaming of what could be and ruin peace behind the walls.”

She drew out an arrow from the quiver slung across her back and began making nonsensical symbols in the dirt at their feet.

To his surprise, the tears stopped, as if they, too, were shocked not only by her honesty but that she hadn’t mocked him, like the other kids had. Surely, he was dreaming… The world was too cruel to grant him some respite when he had done nothing to earn it. “You know about it too?”

Her laughter jolted him more than the hand she placed on his shoulder, certain to leave a dirt imprint on his white school shirt. He kept his eyes focused on the dirt beneath her fingernails as the girl replied, “Yeah, my entire Circle knows about the lies, and,” that word was so pointed and emphasized it was abrasive, “we also know not to talk about it in public spaces, you idiot.”

When he met the girl’s eyes, there was no malice or pity held there. Just understanding, as though she knew his pain intimately through experience.

“You didn’t kill your father. Cowards did,” she jumped to her feet, kicking the mud off the tip of the arrow with her shoe as she held his gaze. “If there’s any blame to be placed, it’s on them.” The girl returned the arrow to its home and dusted her hands on her trousers before extending one out to him. “C’mon. It’s going to be dark soon. Let’s find you a place to rest for the night, at least. Can’t have the bears or wolves getting you.”

As soon as his right hand, soft and smooth, found her rough one, he was being pulled along an unmarked path to a place she only referred to as home, or the Circle. Branches seemed to part ways as they continued at a steady pace, leaping onto rocks over a swiftly flowing creek until she finally slowed their pace.

The Circle, as the boy realized upon his arrival, was an apt description of what would otherwise be considered a town. At the look of wonder on his face as they crossed over the boundary from the forest into the semi-open space, she explained, “This is one of 3 within the walls. We’re little communities, I guess you could say, of a mix of first inhabitants of outside lands. The king gifted us this space on the island when we fled our homelands in exchange for aid in the war.”

His eyes widened as he passed open stalls and tents set up in the space between and in front of the houses that lined the perimeter, where furs and hides of animals were stretched out to be processed and tanned on frames. She chuckled as she saw him take in the space around him, mind transported away for a moment from troubles as she continued her explanation. “He amazingly kept his word when the Walls were built, albeit loosely considering the encroachment on designated lands…” She trailed off, a faraway and sorrowful look in her eyes lingered for a moment before fading away as she began pointing at different locations they passed, listing off names and occupations of the inhabitants.

At the center of the circular community sat a large fire pit surrounded by tables and chairs, spaced out haphazardly as people dressed in clothes similar to the handcrafted outfit the girl wore seemed to be setting up for dinner. Children of all ages ran between houses, bringing out different meals for the adults to arrange on the tables. As the pair passed by, the inhabitants nearby offered a small wave, some wearing puzzled looks while others merely rolled their eyes and shook their heads in amusement, as though the sight of the girl dragging a strange boy along was not entirely unexpected.

They marched towards the northernmost part of the Circle to a cabin with a roof steeper than the rest and through the heavy oak door where she finally came to a halt. Despite reaching the intended destination, the girl kept a tight hold of his hand, as though the boy would bolt the moment she let go. And, if he was honest with himself, he wasn’t quite sure what he would do when that happened, feeling both apprehension and curiosity tugging at opposite ends of his mind.

“Dad! Nevin! I’m back,” she yelled into the empty space, her voice, no doubt, carrying to the rooms concealed behind the doors that connected the rest of the home to the living room and kitchen area.

A small fire gathered strength in the hearth on the far off wall, warding away the chill that began to settle with dusk. Books with well-worn spines spanned an entire wall to his right, its uniformity interrupted only by a small reading nook in the center against a window that looked out into the forest. The sun had begun to sink lower in the horizon, casting long shadows in the waning golden light. Woven pine baskets, quilts of colorful stars, paintings of dreamlike landscapes- all gave the space life and warmth, owed to a space clearly well-loved.

“Just a minute, Dani. I will be right out,” A deep baritone answered, strained in effort from a room off to the far left. “I thought you were out with your Auntie Rita gathering herbs to send with the hunters.”

By the blush coloring her honeyed cheeks and the way she worried at her bottom lip, it was all too clear to the boy that some level of deceit had led her to cross his path.

She dropped his hand as she flung her leather pack to the ground and dashed for the sofa. With quick movements, fluid with the ease that could only come from practice, the girl, Dani, tucked her quiver and boy beneath the couch, leaving only seconds to spare before the door creaked open.

A tall man, two long braids of raven hair cascading over both of his shoulder, stepped out of the room. His eyes landed on the boy, widening for a moment, a bushy eyebrow raised in surprise before the surprised expression morphed into a large toothy grin.

”Pardon me, I didn’t realize we were expecting guests!” The man wiped his hands with a white cloth as he threw a pointed look towards the girl that had his same eyes and high cheekbones. Dani scuttled forward and returned to the boy’s side once more, her smile belying the anxiety that radiated off of her body.

“Dad, this is….” She trailed off, realizing neither had exchanged names. Dani nudged him with a jab of her elbow to say his name.

”Erwin, Sir. Erwin Smith,” the words stumbled out as he jerked up his right hand, recalling the manners his own father instilled in him. The thought made his vision swim, but he held the man’s gaze.

The anxiety ebbed as a smile stretched across her lips. He hadn’t fled. “Erwin, this is my father, Manny, but everyone calls him Chief. It’s a cooler name.”

Seconds of silence ticked by as Chief’s eyes flicked between the two children before a small rumble of laughter reverberated from his chest as a hand, calloused and worn from years of labor and subs eclipsed Erwin’s.

“Did my Dani drag you all the way here without a proper introduction?” Erwin’s silence was enough confirmation. Chief shook his head, a deep crease wrinkling his brow as he leveled a look at Dani, who took sudden interest in removing small bits of twigs and leaves from her chunky braid. “Lozen Daniella Pierce, was this what you were doing instead of helping Rita? Kidnapping strangers?”

Gold-flecked eyes shot back to Chief, glaring. “I didn’t kidnap him, Dad,” Her hands flew to her hips as she pursed her lips in defiance, “he came willingly. I found him by the lake east of here and he’s all alone.”

”And what were you doing out there, if you were supposed to be south helping Auntie Rita?”

Dani walked right into the trap, shifting her weight back and forth before evading the inevitable confession. “But Dad, they killed Erwin’s father because he believed what we do! What was I supposed to do? Say,” she puffed out her chest to make herself bigger and dropped her voice to mimic Chief’s, “‘whoops that’s sad’ and then leave him to fend for himself through the night?”

The stinging sensation returned, but Erwin had no more strength left to stop the tears. He was tired. He was alone in this cruel world that punished dreamers and free thinkers.

The flowing tears were enough to verify Dani’s words, and while Chief would have to have a serious chat with his daughter about duty, the boy- Erwin- didn’t need to be used as his daughter’s shield in diverting responsibility. His sorrow needed tending to.

The wrinkles creasing his forehead smoothed as he sighed, releasing the frustration he held with Dani to allow space for a kindred soul, where hospitality and generosity were called for.

“You must be exhausted and hungry. Come, let’s get you fed.” Chief ushered the boy towards the threshold of the house. “Dani, prepare Nevin’s room for our guest. He will stay with us tonight before we escort him back to his home in the morning. Once you’re done here, you may join us for food.”

And before his daughter could take a chance to argue further with him, he led Erwin to the Circle’s inhabitants gathered around the fire to share a meal.

*********************************************

Three days.

It had been three grueling days of unending silence and solitude in that underground cell. Three days of neglected wounds that were growing angry, throbbing with every beat of her heart- of no food and barely enough water… Three fucking days since she sent a servant off with the hastily written letter she penned before being hauled off to this shithole in the first place.

So, when faint footsteps echoed down the hallway, Lozen Daniella Pierce stifled the hope that bubbled up in her chest, telling herself she was hallucinating. The trial was tomorrow. If her call for help was going to be answered, it would’ve been done sooner. No one would be coming. And despite that mantra she told herself over and over, the sounds of a single pair of footsteps became two sets, growing louder and closer to her corner cell.

It wasn’t until the flicking torchlight became eclipsed with a pair of shadows did she allow herself to believe that this was reality. People were actually here- maybe Rita had managed to convince the guards to allow a visit from an aunt. She looked up, her fingers braiding her hair paused for a fraction of a second- the only indication of surprise she would allow- before resuming their taming of greasy, matted hair.

“You actually came?” Her throat burned as she spoke, her own voice sounding unfamiliar as its hoarseness broke the silence. “I figured you had written me off at this point.” Lozen met the sky blue gaze from her cot in the far back corner of her cell, refusing to move to allow the shadows hide the worst of her appearance.

Erwin remained stoic as he pulled a chair from the wall opposite her cell. It wasn’t until he crossed his left foot to rest just over his right knee, Lozen allowed a glance over at the second visitor- another Scout, apparently- who was leaning against the wall, looking back at her in what she could only describe as bored interest. And even though she was shrouded in darkness, she could still feel those steel gray eyes examine each of the cuts and bruises on her face.

Finally, Erwin answered her, apparently comfortable enough to continue the conversation. “I will admit, curiosity got the better of me-“

”So you believed my letter?”

Her eyes snapped back to him, wide with surprise as she leapt up to her feet. For a moment, the world around her spun, heart racing to support the sudden exertion. Lozen rested a hand on the cold wall, allowing its solidness to tether her as she regained her balance. Once she was certain the ground wouldn’t be ripped from under her, she took a hesitant step to allow some of her features to reach the light.

For a fraction of a second, a look of horror mixed with surprise flashed in Erwin’s eyes, telling her he hadn’t expected the extent of her injuries. Why would he? Newspapers and gossip had been making her out to be some monster who greedily killed her own husband for inheritance money and a title. It was simple, easy to swallow. No, showing the violence flowed both ways in this particular case would be far too humanizing for her peers to digest.

As Lozen considered the look reflected at her through her old friend’s eyes, she wondered if pity was worse than simplicity, but as quickly as it registered on his face, it eased away as Erwin chuckled. Any pity she might’ve read into was gone.

”Believed? That’s to be seen…” He leaned forward, raising a furry eyebrow- at least that hadn’t changed since the last time she saw him. “You could be lying about the information, or -at the very least- overestimating its value to me.”

“So, why waste your time on a trip out here, Section Leader Smith? The Scouts aren’t keeping you busy enough?” Based on the quick side-glance she leveled at the raven-haired companion, he seemed to have the same question for the man.

“I needed to see if my old friend, who had been such a fiercely loving and protective person, still existed.”

Lozen felt her stomach drop, the confession far from expected and close enough to cut. Anything but that answer. An admission that echoed a question she’d faced for the past year and a half: In seeking protection and safety for not just herself, but her community, did she lose the very core of her being?

She turned her attention back to the final section of her twin braids, hands resuming their busy work as she forced out the question, “And does she?”

”Why did you kill him?”

”If you believe I actually had a reason, then know it was a good one.”

The sigh she received told her he was no doubt pinching the bridge of his nose, just like he did when they were young and he was frustrated. “Dani,” he paused, as if he shared her own surprise at her nickname, “I can’t act off of blind faith. Not when there are too many unknowns.”

The sadness in his voice brought Lozen’s attention back to Erwin, who was rubbing his palms up and down his face. An older, long tucked away part of her ached, knowing she was the cause of his distress, caught between duty and chivalry with no current way to rectify the former with the latter.

“Oi, Shorty,” She tore her attention away from her old friend and towards the quiet observer. “What’s your name?” Walls, she hoped he could be her excuse to continue to withhold information, to retain leverage for her own protection. If not, if this stranger did play ball with her, she knew there could be no reason to continue justifying her aloofness as fear and mistrust.

Amber clashed with ice as she held the Scout’s glare, unwavering and full of cold-blooded assessment, as he, no doubt, tried to get a read on her.

“What’s it matter to you? Far as I’m concerned, this is a conversation between you and the Scout’s golden boy over here.” His eyes narrowed at the sickeningly sweet smile she gave him.

”Usually, I like to get to know someone before airing all of my dirty little secrets,” Lozen folded her arms over her chest, wincing as the open wounds on her back pulled away from crusting fabric. “But seeing as we’re on a bit of a time crunch, and that Erwin brought you along- which, might I say, is an accolade all to itself- a name will have to do for now.”

Three heartbeats passed as both she and Erwin awaited his response, unsure of whether he would comply or tell her to fuck off. Honestly, both seemed equally plausible, so Lozen was surprised when he answered gruffly, “Levi.”

“Now tell me, Levi, may I borrow your knife for a moment?”

“You’re joking.”

The deadpan look thrown her way didn’t phase her. Shrugging, she merely replied, “Not at all.” Lozen threw her hands up at the pair of accusatory looks that she was receiving. “What? I’m not going to attack you, or even myself for that matter.” She tugged down her tattered blouse and wrapped her arms around her as she realized her injuries were becoming more visible with each overly dramatic gesture she made. “Not when the great Section Leader Erwin Smith is here.”

It may have been a jab at her former friend, but the pity he’d shown twice now, the second being the reason she realized her wounds were visible. However brief each moment might’ve been, it frayed her nerves to nubs.

Before Levi could give her an answer, Erwin held out his own knife, only for Lozen to push it away with a glare that would’ve made any other man shrink. Eyes like golden embers blazed and clashed with the serene depths starting back at her.

“Not yours, Erwin. His.”

Understanding seemed to settle in as Erwin leaned back in his chair, the unaffected mask now in place once more. A display and test of trust.

Levi examined her face, swollen and marked up, searching for any sign of deceit only to find passivity amidst the strong features- a resolve to accept whatever happened, it would seem.

With fluid and assured movement, he flipped the blade out of its sheath, catching it by the tip before holding the handle out to her. As Lozen reached for the hilt, he yanked the knife just out of reach and leveled her with a look of warning so deadly and certain that she knew he wouldn’t hesitate to put her down if she tried anything.

A look that made Lozen roll her eyes as he allowed her to take the knife from her.

Within moments of accepting both the visibly sharp blade and the trust placed in her hands, the two long braids that rested over both her shoulders fell to the ground, leaving her dark auburn hair fringed and falling just below her jaw line. As quickly as she took the blade, she handed it back to Levi without another glance in his direction.

”You truly do mourn the man you killed?” Erwin broke the tense and stifling silence, understanding the unspoken intention behind the act that confused Levi and only served to annoy him further, apparently, as his brow furrowed as he pulled out a handkerchief to clean off the blade.

She had loved. She had married. She had lost. All for a reason.

”When did you get married?”

She knew it would be a question she would have to answer, but what Lozen didn’t expect was the way he asked it that instead turned the question into, ‘why didn’t you tell me?’ The knife embedded in her heart twisted deeper. “A little over a year and a half ago, when Chief got worse.”

A little after Erwin had visited for the first time in years. When she offered up vital intel as an olive branch for disappearing after graduation night. When they mended the gap between them that now seemed to stretch further than before. That same night, after Chief’s episode, when she realized she would have to marry Lord Vincent Moreno- a man she begrudgingly allowed herself to love but never intended on marrying originally.

Avoiding his unspoken question, Lozen offered up the logic for the why of it, “Chief needed more intensive medical care and supervision than Rita or I could give, so I did what I had to do to take care of him and the Circle.”

”And you killed Vincent to what- ensure that security forever?”

A harsh bark of laughter escaped her before she could stop it, bringing with it stinging tears that made her close her eyes as she tilted her head back. She would not cry. Not in front of them. Not even as she came to accept that Erwin saw her for the monster she was, if that question was any indication.

Lozen had hoped- no, prayed- that her unlikely bet was right. That he still fancied himself a savior-type. A truth seeker that would do anything for the people he cared for. That the kid with rose-colored glasses would see his childhood friend come upon hard times and need to be rescued- had already paid more than enough to warrant his support without the promised information. But it seemed the years had removed those tinted glasses and helped him to see everyone for what they truly were.

Softly, in a voice just above a whisper, “Erwin, I am tired.” Her soul felt heavy, her mind sluggish as all of the emotions she’d staved off for the past week condensed onto her bones, as if she had been hiking for days on end carrying a pack two times her size. “Let me take a break. Go check on Chief for me- I didn’t get a chance to arrange care for him. When you get back, I will give you the information I have.”

”You’re seriously asking for an additional favor?”

Fire clashed once more with ice, and for the first time since he’d arrived, Erwin saw the Lozen he knew glaring back at Levi, only for it to fade at the sound of his voice. “It’s fine, Levi.” Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Levi huff as he turned his attention back to cleaning the knife. “You give me your word you have information the Scouts can use to continue its operations?”

Erwin watched her shoulders droop and round as remorse seemed to pull her inwards, grief and quiet guilt glistening in her as her gaze remained transfixed on the grimey floor. It was subtle, but it was enough to confirm the weight of whatever she was hiding. Worry, or fear, had etched a crease between her brows.

“Thank you, Erwin, for checking on him. Auntie Rita is a distance away- I don’t know if news reached her yet. He’s all alone while I’m here.” Shining eyes met his own. “I will help you, answer your questions, your follow up questions, anything, I just-” a mangled sob escaped and tugged at the Section Leader’s heart. Even Levi had stilled at the sudden crack in her composure as her own carefully crafted mask crumbled before their eyes. “I just need to know he’s okay. I haven’t been able to ask the MPs. You two are the first people I’ve seen since getting tossed in here.”

Pieces fell into place. Her once tanned skin, sunkissed and freckles seemed drained of all color, save the purple yellow and red from the cuts and bruises that seemed to mar every inch of visible skin. No, the injuries that kept her from standing tall without wincing hadn’t occurred in the cell- the most recent wounds seemed to be at least three days old. She seemed to be fading from existence, and the glassy look in her eyes told him she knew and was powerless to stop it.

“A medic hasn’t seen to you?” Rage bubbled up in his chest, simmering at the surface as Lozen shook her head. With a pointed look, Levi understood the unspoken command, nodding once before leaving Erwin’s side.

He rose to his feet and neared Lozen’s cell, allowing a tender expression to escape his own carefully cultivated mask of stoicism as he looked at his old friend. How had it come to this?

As soon as he met her gaze, Lozen averted her eyes, cheeks reddening as she hugged herself tighter in an attempt to cover more of her inflamed skin that peaked through the ruined ruffled blouse. Quickly, he put the mask on once more, summoning up that stern persona that commanded so much respect as he realized she didn’t want his pity or concern. Lozen and her stubborn pride- at least that part of her remained the same. A starting point. He could work with that.

“A medic will see to you shortly.” As he turned on his heel to leave, he spared a final glance over his shoulder with a last reassurance, “I will return in the evening once I’ve checked in on Chief. You have my word, Dani.”

A soft thank you followed him out of the cell block, so faint it could’ve been his mind telling him what he hoped to hear. At the top of the landing, he nodded at the medic, who hurried down in the opposite direction.

#aot fanfiction #erwin smith x oc #erwin smith fanfiction #attack on titan fanfiction #erwin smith x reader #fic: odam #oc: lozen #aot oc #aot canon x oc

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peachyxboy · 5 months

Text

A Love so Sweet, it Hurts 🥀 - Valentine 💌

San Diego, CA

Feburary 16th, 2011

Some days Tala felt like she could never catch a break. From the day she was born, to being smuggled out of Philippines, etc. her whole life has been a struggle. But, so has every single person's on Earth, and like her father always told her: the moment you stop and think about how unfair your life is, you'll be old and dying and wallowing in your own self-pity. When she was younger, she never really understood all the life lessons her parents taught her till she faced them. Like today, she was breaking down over a relationship that she never really got over, meanwhile she had a patient in Exam Room 3 that was there to get clearance for her breast augmentation. Despite priding herself that all her patients had adequate care, frankly Tala couldn't give a shit right now.

"I know you probably think I'm some bimbo, but I just want to surprise my husband, you know? Figured a new, perky set would be more eye-catching than a haircut," she teased.

Perky to match the personality, Tala thought. She walked in with pep in her step, and a toothy grin that didn't seem to leave her face. Her expression was usually not one you would see in a hospital, but it would've been appreciated more, had Tala not have other things on her mind.

"Did you plan on breastfeeding?"

Her smile immediately fell and, shocked by the seemingly unrelated question. "I-I beg your pardon?"

"Breastfeeding. Your file says you're not planning to get pregnant any time soon, but if you, take my advice and wait till they deflate from lack of milk then consider getting them done. Until then, just use a push-up, guys only see what they want to see, so he'll hardly notice when it comes off. Also, you don't have to convince me that you want them done for your husband. I'm not a guy, just a doctor, you don't have to justify your wants and wishes as pleasing your husband," Tala explained as she pocketed her pen, "Head to the waiting area, they'll call you up for a copy of your referral."

"You're still giving me clearance? But you just-"

"Just gave you my opinion. Whether you take it or not is not my problem as soon as you walk through that door. Have a good day."

Without letting her get another word in, Tala swiftly stood from her chair and left the room. She had about three more hours, meaning she needed another cup of coffee. Fortunately for her, Dr. Henry Mercer was already there. He was a neurologist that drove a Lamborghini and a new date to every holiday party. Unfortunately, he was Tala's only real work friend and never let her wallow alone in her own self-pity. "You know, we have security for unwanted reporters, you don't have to make death threats every time one comes in."

"A pen in the eye is hardly a threat. We both know you've had patients who survived worse," she remarked, ordering her third cup of the day.

"Studies had show that caffeine used as a mild antidepressant for people, causing increased turnover of neuro-transmitters," he continued.

"Is this gonna be on the test?"

Henry laughed as well, but didn't let her jokes deter him from the point. "I know you don't like talking about it, but if you need to, you know I'm always here."

Her sarcasm left in that moment and she tried her hardest not to get choked up, "Nothing to talk about."

"Tala, we're way past the angsty teen denial. The more you push and press everything down, it won't feel better."

"I DON'T WANNA FEEL BETTER!"

Even the barista jumped and spilled the milk. She felt her body start to shake as tears filled her eyes, unable to hold back now that the gates were open. Yet, Henry seemed glad that she was showing some emotion over the situation. "Go home, Tala, get some rest."

She shook her head, "I can't-"

"You can and you will," he took both his and her coffee, "Don't worry about anyone else but you."

"Can't really do that anymore."

Dr. Velasco's House - Albuquerque, New Mexico

Circa 2004

Lalo didn't think that would come out of her mouth. The doctor seemed so withdrawn, and reserved when it came to her feelings. Yet, here she was asking him to stay while she lay drunk. It was definitely out of her usual character, but it was nice seeing this side of her. As much as he loved hearing that sharp wit and seeing her furrowed brows, he preferred her smile. And Lalo just loved to think he was one of the few people who saw it.

He didn't answer, though she didn't seem to notice as Tala had already fallen asleep. Bold of her to allow such vulnerability, but he wouldn't do anything. After all, his first attempt at affection literally lead her to throw up. So, he would wait for now, until she specifically asked, he wouldn't act. However, Lalo would stay the night. He sat as her bedside for hours, watching and waiting as time passed. He learned three things that night:

Tala was a light weight.

She was a side sleeper and drooled a little in her sleep.

He had never felt like this for anyone else in his entire life.

By the time 6 AM hit, Lalo was gone. In his place was a little note on her bedside table,

Thank you, and until next time Doctora.

Tala smiled upon reading it, but the memories of the night before came flooding in and she immediately smacked herself in the face with the pillow. Not only did she get drunk and threw up, but she threw up RIGHT AFTER he kissed her forehead. Lalo probably thought she was some gross idiot. After a long and cold shower to sober up, Tala went on her usual routine when she had the day off: grocery shopping, car wash, calling her parents, etc. and did anything and everything to keep her mind off of things. However, that all seemed to be for naught as she received a call from a familiar number.

"Doctora," Lalo greeted as he looked over the shelves of travel brochures, roughly picking out the same ones Michael did from the CCTV footage.

"Lalo."

Even her voice held a certain charm that he couldn't get out of his head. "I hope you slept well. Sorry for letting myself out this morning, I had some...business to attend to."

"No, it's okay. Honestly, I'm really really sorry about last night. I should've never drank that much and threw up and..." she rambled out more apologies, but his chuckling seemed to quiet them.

"It's alright, I'm just glad that you're okay. Actually, I was calling to see if you were available again tonight?"

She paused and sighed disappointedly, "Unfortunately I can't tonight, I have a friend's birthday I have to go to. And I probably won't be available till Saturday."

"Making me wait so long?" Lalo teased, "Alright then, Saturday?"

"Saturday."

"I'll be waiting."

Lalo ended the call, smiling from ear to ear. Despite having to wait 3 days to see her again, Lalo would cherish every second of anticipation. Though, that smile quickly left upon hearing the small whimpering from the boy in the corner of the room. Apparently he wasn't dead just yet.

#lalo salamanca #lalo salamanca fanfic #lalo salamanca x oc #better call saul fanfic #a love so sweet it hurts #better call saul lalo #lalo salamanca x tala velasco #lalo x tala #eduardo lalo salamanca #fanfic

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