#✧ › ◜ ximena. ◞ character study.

[kusatta]

the stars smiled & the sea rose like the pulse of her heart.

[sharkeaten]

REYES FAMILY ROUNDUP ‼️‼️

antonio reyes & teresa villanueva met at age ten, and vowed to get married when they turned eighteen (they asked to get married that day, but their parents said no). their love was known throughout the town and, when the time came, they gave birth to who teresa called her angel baby, ximena. but struggle set in quick and it was impossible for two people to take care of the ranch they had inherited from antonio’s parents, and more children meant more help. so nine more came.

antonio reyes, patriarch — 40. diego luna.

teresa reyes (née villanueva), matriarch — 40 . salma hayek.

ximena reyes, eldest daughter — 19. nailea devora.

roman reyes, eldest son — 18. diego tinoco.

valeria reyes — 18. cierra ramírez.

valentina & raul reyes, twins — 16. victoria moroles & jake t austin.

isabela reyes — 14. ariana greenblatt.

mateo reyes — 12. young tyler posey.

elena, luna, & santiago — 10, triplets. no fcs <3

[apcthetics]

alistair castillo. ── (updated) tag dump.

alistair castillo. ── thread. alistair castillo. ── musings. alistair castillo. ── mirror. alistair castillo. ── character study.

alistair castillo. ── featuring. ximena alistair castillo. ── featuring. tadgh alistair castillo. ── featuring. indie alistair castillo. ── featuring. faye

[aff1uent]

                 blasting   𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒍   𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒗𝒆   𝒃𝒚   𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒓𝒄𝒆   𝒕𝒉𝒆   𝒗𝒆𝒊𝒍   through   their   airpods   is   𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐬   𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐢́𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐳   .   oh   ,   you   don’t   know   them   ?   they’re   the   𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒚   -   𝒇𝒊𝒗𝒆   year   old   𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫   who   just   went   viral   for   𝒐𝒍𝒅   𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒖𝒃𝒆   𝒗𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒐𝒔   𝒐𝒇   𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎   𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈   𝒃𝒂𝒓𝒃𝒊𝒆𝒔   𝒈𝒐𝒕𝒉   —   𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕   𝒂𝒏   𝒐𝒅𝒅   𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅   𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚   𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆   !   .   yup   ,   the   one   that   drives   a   𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒   𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐬   -   𝐫𝐨𝐲𝐜𝐞   𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭   .   i   hear   they’re   pretty   𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒏𝒕   ,   but   others   have   claimed   that   they’re   quite   𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐫   .   that   makes   sense   ,   considering   they’re   often   labeled   as   𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒚   𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒓   𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍   .

───    visage    ⋆    interactions    ⋆    pinterest    .

⊹   𝙶𝙴𝙽𝙴𝚁𝙰𝙻   .

        ·   full   name   ⸝⸝   dolores   ximena   domínguez   .         ·   nicknames   ⸝⸝   none   .         ·   date   of   birth   ⸝⸝   may   13th   ,   1999   .         ·   age   ⸝⸝   twenty   -   five   .         ·   place   of   birth   ⸝⸝   san   diego   ,   california   .         ·   gender   ⸝⸝   genderfluid   .         ·   pronouns   ⸝⸝   they   /   she   .         ·   orientation   ⸝⸝   bisexual   and   biromantic   .         ·   nationality   ⸝⸝   american   .         ·   ethnicity   ⸝⸝   indigenous   mexican   and   black   .         ·   education   ⸝⸝   bachelor's   degree   in   cinematic   arts   ,   film   and   television   from   the   university   of   southern   california   .         ·   occupation   ⸝⸝   director   ,   writer   ,   animator   and   producer   (   career   claim   —   tim   burton   .   )         ·   lingo   ⸝⸝   english   ,   spanish   ,   american   sign   language   ,   mandarin   chinese   ,   japanese   ,   italian   ,   greek   .

⊹   𝚁𝙴𝙻𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂   .

        ·   father   ⸝⸝   santiago   domínguez   ,   a   hollywood   actor   who   has   received   numerous   accolades   and   will   not   stop   his   work   until   he   is   physically   unable   to   .         ·   mother   ⸝⸝   gabriela   domínguez   ,   a   neurosurgeon   whose   life   too   revolves   around   work   and   pursuing   other   studies   .         ·   siblings   ⸝⸝   one   brother   named   joaquín   ,   a   twenty   -   two   year   old   student   still   searching   for   his   aspiration   in   life   .         ·   children   ⸝⸝   none   .         ·   pets   ⸝⸝   a   black   persian   cat   named   salem   ,   a   black   bombay   cat   named   phantom   and   a   black   yorkshire   terrier   named   nosferatu   .

⊹   𝙸𝙳𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙸𝚃𝚈   .

        ·   zodiac   ⸝⸝   taurus   .         ·   alignment   ⸝⸝   chaotic   neutral   .         ·   mbti   type   ⸝⸝   int   .         ·   positive   traits   ⸝⸝   brilliant   ,   perceptive   ,   quick   -   witted   ,   devoted   .         ·   negative   traits   ⸝⸝   peculiar   ,   pessimistic   ,   reserved   ,   snarky   .         ·   tropes   ⸝⸝   creepy   loner   girl   ,   brutal   honesty   ,   deadpan   snarker   ,   not   so   stoic   ,   women   are   wiser   .         ·   hobbies   ⸝⸝   sketching   ,   archery   ,   researching   conspiracy   theories   and   murder   mysteries   ,   ballet   ,   checkers   ,   going   through   haunted   houses   ,   studying   behaviors   ,   podcasts   ,   fencing   ,   street   racing   ,   competitive   swimming   .          ·   character   inspiration   ⸝⸝   wednesday   and   morticia   addams   (   the   addams   family   film   series   and   netflix's   wednesday   )   ,   tiffany   valentine   (   bride   of   chucky   )   ,   violet   parr   (   the   incredibles   .   )

⊹   𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺𝙶𝚁𝙾𝚄𝙽𝙳   .

        ·   to   be   written   !

⊹   𝙿𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙾𝙽𝙰𝙻𝙸𝚃𝚈   .

        ·   to   be   written   !

[catchingbigfish]

wip re-intro | conversion

detail from bachus, caravaggio

tag: #wip: conversion status: second draft with beta readers

summary: Rosalyn, a twenty-something fashion-making student, arrives for her MFA with a fresh diagnosis of hypochondria needing a new beginning. When she meets her professor, Marlene, and her group of acolytes -- a group of women artists Marlene lovingly calls her Hysterics, who all have the same exotic illness as Marlene -- she thinks she might have finally found her people. If the cost of admission to their ranks is the illness, Rosalyn reasons, she can give it to herself; when she shows up with the disease, they offer her the care she'd always wanted. But when a figure from Marlene's past enters the picture and threatens the cohesion of their group, the Hysterics -- Rose included -- must figure out how far they're willing to go to protect their secrets.

genres: dark litfic, satire

comps: Bunny by Mona Awad x The Things We Do to Our Friends by Heather Darwent

themes & tropes: the medicine of both/and; medical misogyny and alternative medicine quackery; feminist theory and its misapplications; women's friendships and betrayals; a cast of mostly unlikeable queer women; problematic rep and realistic portrayals of uneven power dynamics; coercive control and self-brainwashing; charismatic cults and leftist politics

character profiles under the cut

Rosalyn/Rose, definitely post-makeover, a late-20s fashion-making MFA student with a hypochondria diagnosis and a problematic relationship to her body; artsy-dreamer, certified Tumblr Girl in the mid-2010s desperately clinging to her 20 followers and 2 mutuals, wants nothing more than love and has no idea how to get it

Josephine, a former therapist turned memoirist whose home becomes the mothership for the rest of the hysterics; loves visible mending, slow living, and trashy horror movies, but is a scaredy-cat at heart who has to hold onto a stuffed animal or fuzzy jacket to watch them, aspiring cat mom

Anais, a fabric weaver fresh from her undergrad in textile studies; unstable in every way from her identity to her work, and the baby of the group; refined taste and high standards for the fine things in life, but garbage taste in women

Dahlia, a community organizer and performance artist who talks a lot but doesn't know as much as she thinks; main character syndrome; constantly moving, does sun salutations as a nervous tic

Ximena, a painter who has a PhD in math and a taste for psychedelics; loves Pythagoras; terrifying and intense and silly and strange; the second-in-command who was born to lead; spends most of her time reading books in Spanish and trying to ignore Dahlia; refuses to sleep alone and with the lights out, has to pick one or the other

[nepobabyeurydice]

posting this here before ao3 because i just realized i can do whatever i want.

Learn Your Blades

Summary: A brief character study as to why Esperanza Valdez keeps on letting Hera in despite every other sign not to.

.x.

Hera comes to Esperanza with an offer she can’t refuse, a knife and a prophecy. She accepts without a second thought and hates herself for it. She’d do anything for Leo to be safe, but Esperanza hadn’t realized how far she’d go with this.

Hera places Leo in a fireplace and Esperanza screams and sobs and tells her that she’ll never come back to Esperanza’s house. The next day, Leo walks straight into the fireplace and walks out unharmed. She cries for an hour and lets Hera back in again. If she can make Leo immune to death itself then Esperanza would cry all her tears if it meant her son was safe.

To storm or fire, the world must fall. The words echo in Esperanza’s ears as she tries to get people to take her seriously, tries to build something outside the ranch and the dirt that the horses kick as they run. They echo as she fusses over Leo’s clothes and his drawings, echo as she works with grease and gears and tries not to scream.

Leo couldn’t die, but she imagines the other mother of the poor child that’d die in her son’s place and her heart aches. She’d never wish that on anyone, but Esperanza couldn’t live with it happening to her son.

So she lets Hera in, she lets her in after the snake, she lets her in after the knives. She lets her in and Esperanza never understands why.

Hera takes a liking to Esperanza or so she thinks when she finds five hundred dollars just enough to make up this month’s rent on her table wrapped in a peacock feather. She pays the rent and takes Leo out for ice cream.

“He must learn his blades early,” Hera says, and Esperanza listens. “He must learn to move on from suffering, he must learn to control his fire lest he burn himself out. If you want your son to live, dear thing, you must teach him how to be a Valdez.”

So she does. Esperanza teaches him how to build machines, gives him a secret language if he’s ever taken prisoner, and if she teaches him how to break out of locked rooms and how to open windows well that was her prerogative. Esperanza teaches him jokes that her grandfather told, teaches him how to ride a horse, although he’s horrible at it, teaches him how to lie to the world at large but never to her.

Esperanza teaches Leo all that Hera tells her and more. It’s like having a mother to guide her through her raising of Leo. Not that her mother wasn’t a mother, but Ximena Valdez would’ve not encouraged anything Esperanza was doing. To her mother, Esperanza had to return to the farm, take care of the books and wait for her mother to die with the patience of a saint waiting on her hand and foot. She thought Esperanza’s dreams were just dreams and that they should’ve given Leo away the moment he was born.

 Leo did not fit in the perfect future everyone had envisioned for Esperanza, she wasn’t even sure he fit in Hephaestus’s future, but Leo fit in Hera’s future and that was enough for her to keep opening the door for her.

.x.

[omniblades-and-stars]

Blossoms on the Water?

This one's a bit of an odd one for me. So this is me exploring one of my Shepard's characterization and backstory via her journey through the drell afterlife. She is being guided to unburden herself so she can float freely on the waters.

I dunno if I'll ever finish it, it's more for me than anyone else. It's both a way for me to work on character stuff and also confront my personal and deeply held fear of death.

So here's a huge chunk, one of Eden's memories. It's not a happy one.

Mena’s music blares too loud from her car as her tires squeal against the gravel driveway. She recklessly peels down the drive and swings around in the cul-de-sac before she is gone.

The girl, a teenager now, softly closes the door, hopeful her father didn’t hear all the noise. She darts up the stairs to her bedroom where she frantically grabs a sweater to pull over her shirt, which is little better than a bra.

“Eden,” her father says angrily from the threshold of her bedroom. He’s alway angry with her. She never does anything right, gave up on doing anything right a long time ago. She is failing her classes, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. “Where were you tonight? You missed dinner.”

His tone makes her skin bristle. Like the air before a thunderstorm, his anger is palpable. His rage is a physical presence, a bystander to the storm that’s about to start. She knows if she just tells him the truth, he’ll just shake his head and call her a disappointment, maybe ask what’s wrong with her.

She doesn’t know the answer to that.

“Studying for my biology test with Ximena. We got distracted by extranet vids and lost track of the time,” she lies. She doesn’t know why she lies.

Her lie is the match, and his temper is the kindling. “I know goddamn well you weren’t fucking studying, Eden!” He steps inside her room, his arms are crossed, but his fists are balled. “Sheriff Denton called, are you stupid, or do you just not care if you go to jail anymore?”

“I don’t fucking care, dad!” She shouts and lies. She’s terrified that Denton is finally going to come and take her away. Stealing from a convenience store isn’t even the worst crime she’s committed, just the most recent one. It was a stupid thing to do, she knows. It seems like all she does is make bad decisions, like a compulsion she can’t ignore.

“Eden, I didn’t raise you to be a thief and a whore!” He shouts at her.

She hates him.

“You didn’t fucking raise me! Mom died and what, I just have to fend for myself? Putting fucking food down on the table and staring at the TV isn’t raising a kid! You won’t even talk to me unless I do something wrong!” He only ever talks to her to yell.

He’s looking down at his feet, and she realizes that he hasn’t looked her in the eyes in months. “Why won’t you fucking look at me?” She screams her question. She just wants him to love her. She’s so alone. She’s been alone for years.

His next words come so quietly, but they hurt so bad, she wishes he’d just hit her. “You look too much like her.”

The breath is pulled from her lungs, and the tears she’s only barely been holding back fall.

“More and more every year,” he continues. For just a second, Eden tries to reach out. He’s her father, they can repair this, right? She’s so desperate for his love that she is about to offer to dye her hair, or even get fucking surgery to change her face. Just for a chance.

He looks at her and all she sees is hatred. “You look like her, Eden. But you’re nothing like her. She would hate what you’ve become,” he says with such conviction, she knows he means it.

Eden reaches behind her and grabs the first thing on her desk that she can throw. It’s sailing through the air and she can't take it back. She regrets it as soon as it slips free from her fingers. A ceramic deer, purple with green antlers, shatters against the wall. Her mother made it, and she painted it. Her last tether to her mother.

“I wish it was you who died, instead of her,” she sobs. She wants to crawl into her closet and hide. She likes the small dark places, they are safe for her to think in.

She wants her mother.

“Get out,” he says so quietly, she can barely hear it.

“Dad, please, I didn’t mean it,” she tries to beg. She panics. She’s only fifteen, where can she go? She doesn’t have any other family.

He points at the door, “Get the fuck out of my house and don’t come back!”

She’s scared. She starts cramming as much of her clothes that she can into her book bag. She forgets clean socks.

Her father doesn’t try to stop her. Doesn’t say goodbye. Doesn’t say anything at all. Those are the last words they ever say to each other.

She stays the night under the pavilion at the park she used to play at with her mom when she was young. She eats an old leftover protein bar that was left in her bag from days before. It is dry, and it is disgusting.

She doesn’t know what to do with herself. She doesn’t know how to be an adult.

[cadybear420]

Cadybear's Re-Reviews- Ride or Die

Welcome to the first of Cadybear’s RE-Reviews! In Re-Reviews, I of course reassess my original opinion of a story I’ve recently replayed. Maybe my opinion has changed, or maybe it still holds up and I have further thoughts. 

Today I will be re-reviewing Ride or Die, the seventeenth review I’ve done. The last time I played this story was 3 years ago, in May 2021. I last reviewed it in March 2024, putting it on the Wood Tier with a 3 stars out of 10 rating. As of my most recent replay however, I can comfortably put it on the Gold Tier at 8 stars out of possible 10.

Sooooo… My opinion on this story has changed VERY drastically as per my second replay. 

The first time around, I did not care for this book. The plot felt poorly paced to me, with too much happening at once. To the point where I said it caused me actual mental distress trying to keep up with it. And I found the whole mood and writing far too melodramatic for what I felt was supposed to be a shallow relationship between MC and the Mercy Park Crew. It was far from being one of the worst to me, but I still found myself speaking very harshly about it. And it shows in my original review. 

This time around, I had much more ease in following the plot. I don’t know why. But rereading it, it is a pretty solid story, and I actually found myself quite invested in what was gonna happen next. There were definitely some parts where I found myself tuning out a bit and had a bit of trouble following, but for the most part, it was a decent and enjoyable story. And because I could follow the story better this time, I could follow some of the more emotional themes of it.

I actually had quite a bit of fun with this MC. Even though she is often pushed as this ingenue/innocent type character, it’s not too overbearing, and she isn’t made to be outright spineless or passive. And they do have some flexibility in their character too– we get quite a bit of variety in how we behave towards the other characters, how we act in certain situations… and that’s something I always appreciate. 

There are even some choices that seem to directly affect the story, most notably the ones where you choose if you focus more on studying or more on spending time with the Crew (with premium options to allow you to combine the two things)– and if I’m not mistaken, it affects whether your MC becomes valedictorian or salutatorian. Though they don’t make it clear how much of your story’s outcomes are changed by your choices. Guess I’ll find out when I replay. 

And I actually found a lot of these characters very endearing. Toby and Ximena were very vibrant and charming and easily my favorite members of the crew. Riya and Darius… I remember being a tad more annoyed with them in my first playthrough, but this time I found them to be very interesting and pleasant characters. 

And by far, my favorite character is certainly MC’s Dad. Oh my God. Even in my first playthrough, I think I did always have a bit of a soft spot for him. He’s just such a sweetheart, and a lot of the interactions and scenes between him and MC were quite emotional to me, I will admit. It was definitely in those moments where I could buy the bittersweet feelings that people rave about. Even though the dad is a bit overprotective, it feels backed by understandable well-meaning intentions rather than some over-the-top “if anything happens to my daughter I got a .45 and a shovel” stereotype. 

I’d say it definitely puts a fair amount of twist on the stereotypical “goody two shoes good girl x immoral tough bad boy” trope. While Logan’s route definitely upstaged those of Colt and Mona (and I’ll get to that later), the story doesn’t revolve entirely around MC’s relationship with him (or any of the other LIs really). The dad was a very sympathetic character, and like I said before, his protectiveness felt well-intentioned and not over-the-top. And rather than a stereotypical “MC runs away with the bad boy and rebels against her evul oppressive father” ending, she’s instead allowed to grow and change to independence through her experience while still sticking true to her academic and family values. 

Of course, there are still a fair amount of problems with it. 

For one, I do still think this book is pointlessly genderlocked. The storyline with MC wanting independence and Dad being overprotective could still work with a male MC, to be honest. And Logan’s character I think would have also still worked as a woman if he was GOC. 

For second, the handling of the LIs– which is probably my biggest problem with the story. I did find Logan a lot more interesting of a character in my replay, but my God, is he a screentime hog. Although the seemingly forced attraction between him and MC isn’t quite as pushed in the first couple of chapters, the story is still blatantly biased towards him and it’s clear they want us to see him and MC as inherently romantic. 

All of the options for MC to choose between her studies/school friends vs driving lessons/the crew involve Logan, and often are given romantic connotations (eg. “study date with Logan”, “double date between you/Logan and Riya/Darius”). And by the halfway point of the book, we’ve only gotten one premium scene option with Mona, two with Colt, but plenty with Logan. 

Now, in my first review, I said that I don’t understand why Logan is so god damned special and why he of all the LIs was the main LI. But here, I think I would phrase that a bit differently: I don’t get why Logan is far more special or important than the other two LIs. 

This time around, I was able to follow Logan’s special reason for taking interest in MC. Quite simply, he was employed to be a sort of “honey trap”. He and Teppei Kaneko knew that MC’s dad was a cop and had been assigned to track down the MPC, and so Kaneko had Logan charm MC and lure her into their group, in order to possibly manipulate the Dad and his case. He calls the cops on Brent’s party so that he can save MC and get on her good side. This is obviously all well and good narrative-wise, but it doesn’t justify him getting this many more scenes than Mona and Colt. 

Personally, I still found Colt the most compelling and developed of the LIs, due to the whole conflict between him and his dad. And Mona is an interesting character too, in that she was once a straight-A’s “good girl” like MC but had gone down a bad path and ended up being stuck as a criminal. These are genuinely interesting character types! Yet for some reason, the story acts like these are much less important and significant than Logan’s character, so much so that they have far fewer premium scenes. Seriously, Mona is given so few interactions with MC and premium scene options, that it’s honestly hard to feel for any relationship between the two of them. So it still feels 100% like she’s just the token f!LI (and the story’s subtitle still isn’t helping matters). 

I mean, I get it. I can understand to some extent why Logan might have a little more focus than the others– he’s the tool that’s meant to bring MC into the crew and keep her there, in order to disrupt her dad’s investigation. But it sort of cheapens the impact of any connection MC could have with Mona or Colt. 

As I mentioned before, Mona’s whole backstory is that she was once like MC– a straight-A goody-two-shoes student, who suddenly gets roped in by “a beautiful girl with a beautiful car” and now lives her life as a criminal away from her old identity and life. This is fine and all, but the “I was roped in by a beautiful girl with a beautiful car” thing ends up feeling rather Logan-centric due to how few romantic opportunities we get with Mona in the first half of the book. Logan’s the one who ropes MC in and gets all the interactions with MC that are meant to keep her interest in being in the crew, whereas Mona has very little presence in that regard. 

Logan may be the one manipulating MC into being part of the crew, but they should have allowed room for intrigue in any of the other LIs to be a bigger factor in what keeps her in. If that makes sense. 

And even all that aside, I do think the romance aspect is a bit melodramatic, kind of? Like, MC and these LIs have only known each other for, what, a month? Three months? Yet they try to push the LIs as having these deep feelings of love for the MC and make it seem tragic when they eventually have to go their separate ways. Like, they have the LI outright say “I love you” to MC at prom. 

I understand that MC and the crew did have a major impact in each others’ lives, but it was hard for me to buy it or feel it was earned or organic when Colt confessed his love for MC. I do like that they allow MC to not return the feelings and point out that they don’t know each other as well, and ultimately treat their romantic interactions as just a small thing. Frankly, I think the romance is better when played that way, as a brief fling that was never meant to last or become deeper. Not all relationships get to develop or have a happy ending. 

I’m fine with a story’s romance routes being more shallow and fling-y, but the story itself needs to treat them as such. ROD somewhat does that, but at times it does also try to frame it the same way of regular more developed Choices romance routes, and that does take me out of the story a bit. LI and MC saying “I love you” to each other in HSS:CA might not have quite been earned either, but at least in that, it is played out as a more cutesy thing. Whereas in ROD, it’s played out as 100% serious, so it doesn’t feel quite right. If they kept it at more of a “I like the idea of dating you” or “You’re important to me and I’ve come to deeply respect and value you” type of thing, I’d feel for it a bit better. 

I also think it’s weird that they have MC still care about the group even after learning that both Colt and Logan had essentially manipulated her. I mean, Mona, Ximena, and Toby, I can kind of get why MC would still care about them. But with Logan and Colt… I don’t fully buy MC still being that eager to help them. Logan manipulated MC, Colt lied to MC about stealing another human being, and Mona ended up betraying her whole group. MC can get angry at them, but still acts weirdly sentimental towards them near the end of the story. Speaking of which…

The story’s ending. I was okay with it before, but I can honestly appreciate it much better now. I’d said in my previous review that even if I did like the story, I probably would not have wanted a sequel for it. And… that still holds true. I like the story, but I don’t think it needs a sequel. MC not getting a happily ever after with her LI is certainly different from the usual Choices ending (again, why couldn’t books like TNA, FCL, Surrender, and TBB have this), but I like that outcome not just because it was “different”, but primarily because it felt appropriate to the storyline and MC’s experience with the crew. 

It makes much more sense for MC’s relationship with the crew to be more like a short-lived fling that was never meant to become deep, which is why I felt it was better to play the romances as such. In the end, it allowed MC to break free from her usual studious and family-focused routine and a taste of adrenaline-fueled independence, and now she gets to move on and start a new adventure as someone who is still studious and cares about her family but is also more independent. 

And unlike other books that got their sequels suddenly canceled like ATV or Hero, the note that this story ended on was fairly conclusive, and it doesn’t really need a continuation. I still wouldn’t have been against the sequel idea (MC being targeted and having to bring the group together again after graduating college) that was revealed in Storyloom, as I do think it’s an interesting idea to explore (as long as there would be a choice for the ending where we don’t get back with our LI)– but it does work just fine without. 

Of course, I still don’t quite get why people have praised this as one of the bests/most legendary of Choices. In my original review, I said that even if I did like this book, I wouldn’t consider it quite one of Choices’ bests. And I do think that opinion still holds true. As of now, I do like this story well enough. I find it fun, action-packed, with a solid coming-of-age narrative and even some strong emotional moments. It does do a fair amount of things differently, but… it wasn’t quite enough to really stand out and *wow* me. It goes with COP and ID in my category of “It’s good, but it’s not that good” stories. 

Overall, I’m glad I gave this story a second chance.

[inesosorino]

— people like to tell you what you're gonna be

{ ZION MORENO, 21, TRANS WOMAN, SHE/HER } Is that INÉS OSORIO? A JUNIOR originally from SAN DIEGO, CA, they decided to come to Ogden College to study PRE-LAW on a FINANCIAL SCHOLARSHIP. They’re THE PRODIGY on campus, but even they could get blamed for Greer’s disappearance.

CHARACTER STATS. 

FULL NAME: inés yesenia osorio cruz GENDER IDENTITY & PRONOUNS: trans woman & she/her BIRTHDATE: september 5th, 2001 (virgo sun, leo moon, sagittarius rising) BIRTHPLACE: mérida, mexico NATIONALITY: mexican-american RELIGIOUS AFFILIATION: athiest LANGUAGES: spanish (fluent), english (fluent), latin (fluent), can speak the other romance languages conversationally, currently studying cantonese

MORAL ALIGNMENT: true evil neutral MYERS-BRIGGS: estj TEMPERAMENT: melancholic VICES: icy, egotistical, self serving, workaholic, controlling VIRTUES: confident, poised, resourceful, studious, sharp SKILLS: hand sewing, knows how to interpret and use body language, public speaking CHARACTER INSPIRATION: michaela pratt (how to get away with murder), lydia martin (teen wolf), harper spiller (white lotus), spencer hastings (pretty little liars), drea torres (do revenge)

PERSONALITY. 

inés is a type a personality through and through. not only is she academically gifted, she’s quick witted, accomplished, capable, and not to mention incredibly humble. it’s hard to let go of a massive ego when you’ve been told all your life how much you’re going to achieve. while such praise may have caused others to burn out, her drive became her super power. no feat was too large for inés osorio to face. it just come from being conceited however, ever since she was a child she has had to fight for the things she wants and she’s carried that spirit with her into adulthood. she’s had to bare her teeth a few times to have her way and she’ll do it again. while that may make her come across as intense and overly zealous when it comes to her studies she believes if you can’t keep up then you can get out of the way. she’s earned her right to be at the table and she won’t apologize for the things she’s had to do to get there. there is more to inés than her over achieving mean girl persona though. she’s introspective and curious and enjoys to have deep conversations. bonus points if you can actually challenge her as she is prone to growing bored rather quickly. in spite of herself the glitz and glamor of the upper class still impress her and it can be charming if she’s caught letting her guard down. still, she has high standards for herself and those she keeps around her so don’t be too shocked if she’s quick to write you off. 

THE PAST. 

inés's parents had married young after her mother had become pregnant. truth be told their relationship was fresh and they didn't know each other that well but they shared the same dreams and that had to count for something, right? he played piano and wrote songs while she was a singer. and so, ximena and mateo moved their small family to sunny california from mexico. inés was too young to remember their time in their home country but she thinks about the cramped apartment in san diego's downtown more than she would like to. it was fine, at first. mateo worked two jobs to keep the household afloat while ximena took care of the baby. she would come home from school to her mother cooking and sundays after morning mass were full of laughter and music. the osorio household was a place for love and light.

except ximena was never able get past an audition and mateo never caught his big break. after years and years of waiting to be recognized for their talents, reality began to sink in for the couple. tensions rose as ximena refused to work but insisted they sent money to her family in mexico and mateo had to put his foot down as they barely had enough for themselves. the two fought often. they would do their best to have their arguments when inés was asleep but children pick up on more than their parent’s think. eventually they stopped hiding it. the two never left each other and inés always wondered if it was their own way of punishing the other.

when she began school, her teachers noticed how much more excelled in class than her peers. inés had an impressive memory and was incredibly well spoken for a child. her english was far more advanced than any other children her age who learned it as a second language. after her parents made the discovery they were raising a tiny genius, ximena went crazy. she pulled inés out of the public school she had been attending and used the rest of their family’s money to enroll her in a private one on the other side of town without consulting mateo. he was justifiably upset with her new treatment of their only child and ximena told him exactly where to stick it because inés was special and, more importantly, a chance out of this life they were in.

while inés’s parents were initially upset that their prodigal child was more interested in being a girl than kissing one (she would realize a few years later she didn’t mind doing that either though), they were ultimately accepting. her accomplishments in school had brought them so many gifts even if they were still making ends meet. ximena would push inés. if she failed, affection would be withdrawn to show there was no room for anything less than perfection. her daughter was going to be someone whether she wanted to or not. inés didn’t mind. she liked being the best. she liked the power that it gave her and she learned how to harness it. she was just as good as her peers who lived in big mansions— no, she was better. 

mateo left to move back to mexico inés’s sophomore year of high school. he had been talking to a woman his family had found and decided would be a “more suitable” wife and the two developed feelings for each other. ximena didn’t even look at him as he left, but later that night she crawled into bed with her daughter. instead, she focuses all of her time and energy into her daughter. she becomes overtly critical of anything inés did from what she wore to what she ate to who she spent her time with. her study sessions become longer and she signs up for more activities to excel at. there isn’t room for failure or burnout. inés to this day considers ximena to be tough but fair although from an outside perspective her parenting methods are definitely questionable. she stressed how vital it was for inés to succeed and to get a good job so the two of them could have the life “they” deserve.

THE PRESENT. 

inés settled into ogden university with ease. not long after her interview she was offered a full ride and she knew she would be a fool to turn it down. the undergraduate program was a walk in the park. she wanted to focus on buffing up her resumé before going to harvard, anyway. befriending greer and her group of friends was an added bonus. it can be hard to tell what inés’s true intentions are but she proved herself to be loyal to the golden girl so it didn’t matter what the rest of them thought. with her dear friend gone, inés stays skeptical as things are most definitely not what they seem. she can’t stop the world from turning though and even if she could she wouldn’t want it to. 

HEADCANONS.

extracurricular activities (oh boy): captain of the rowing team and currently filling in as coxswain, cheerleading team (co captain), undergraduate student council, pre law association, and mock trial.

cw: drugs. the type to say no to a cigarette because smoking is bad for you then immediately do a line of coke.

hates animals!! dogs have too much energy and she’s allergic to cats and she isn’t fond of anything with scales. if she isn’t interacting with something that is bipedal and can talk she’s getting out of there as soon as possible.

it isn’t that inés doesn’t appreciate the arts, it’s more after watching her mother and father’s lives fall apart due to the dream they were chasing she feels contempt for them. she learned from a young age only certain people were allowed to succeed in the field.

she’s the kind of person you would want around during a crisis. inés is very good at remaining calm and talking people down before any hysteria hits. 

was very much a regina george type in high school. prom queen, top of her class, and casually cruel. that hasn’t changed much. 

inés doesn’t actually like rich people but she likes and believes she deserves their lifestyle. after being surrounded by them for much of her life she’s come to the conclusion they’re not very bright and most of the time not worthy of her respect.

EXTRA. 

pinterest

wanted connections

playlist (tba)

[deoscuridad]

@gildedscripture bb ximena & sal

[kusatta]

first row : likes to travel, likes the ocean, likes to cuddle, likes to swim, likes animals. second row : wants a family, kind / patient, taller than her ( 5'8" ), committed / loyal, easily adaptable. third row : someone who can handle themselves, someone who can keep up with her, free space, someone understanding of her past, someone who will collect seashells with her. fourth row : open to new experiences, willing to fight in order to protect her, confident, knows how to play an instrument, likes to hear her sing. fifth row : acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, gift giving.

[sharkeaten]

modern ximena hardly changes ngl. babygirl lived on a ranch in mexico for most of her life then a ranch in texas and she’s just trying to make it through college I fear

[apcthetics]

eliott russo. ── (updated) tag dump.

eliott russo. ── thread. eliott russo. ── musings. eliott russo. ── mirror. eliott russo. ── character study.

eliott russo. ── featuring. faye eliott russo. ── featuring. marc eliott russo. ── featuring. dilan eliott russo. ── featuring. nate eliott russo. ── featuring. ximena

[julietaxherrera]

( ZION MORENO, 22, TRANS WOMAN, SHE/HER ) —Is that JULIETA HERRERA? A JUNIOR originally from SAN FRANCISCO, CA, they decided to come to Ogden College to study MARKETING. They’re THE INFLUENCER on campus, but even they could get blamed for Greer’s disappearance.

character inspo — marimar montoya (the inheritance of orquidea divina), timothee greywick (wicked academia), tristan caine (the atlas six), heather (crave)

BASIC—

full name: julieta ximena herrera nicknames: jules    age: tweny-two date of birth: 15 august  hometown: san francisco, ca  gender: trans female pronouns: she/her sexual orientation: bisexual languages spoken: spanish, english

PHYSICAL—

fc: zión moreno hair color: brown eye color: brown height: 5'10" tattoos: none piercings: ears clothing style: anything fashionable usual expression: happy sociability: loves to be around people *nsfw below for drug / alcohol related questions* addictions: none drug use: none  alcohol use: socially

PERSONALITY—

label: the influencer positive traits: friendly, accepting, energetic negative traits: deceitful, jealous, angry hobbies: makeup, shopping

FAVOURITES—

colour: pink music: pop movies: anything romantic sport: cheerleading, ice skating beverage: sparkling water   food: authentic mexican animal: cats

EXTRAS—

greek zodiac: leo element: fire  celtic zodiac: hazel seven roles: the king moral alignment: neutral good  

SOCIAL MEDIA—

twitter: princessjulieta  instagram: princessjulieta 

BIOGRAPHY—

Julieta was raised by a single mother. For the most part, life was relatively normal for the two of them. Her mom worked long hours so for the most part Julieta was left alone to do what she wanted. The Herrera family, while smaller—consisting of just her mom, her uncle, and her grandmother—all of them were very supportive of each other. 

For the most part, Julieta has always thought her life was normal. Even if her family was wealthy. When she came out as trans, her entire family were supportive of her decision. Julieta has always been thankful that her family has always been supportive of her. 

Even though she’s wealthy, Julieta’s mother made sure she understood philanthropy and Julieta has been volunteering at LGBTQIA+ youth centres ever since she was old enough to as well as the local soup kitchen. She’s always been the “share the wealth” type of person. 

Her mother thought it best she went to a public high school, rather than a private one, but Julieta never minded since most of her friends were also going to the same school—friends she’d made because of her mother’s job and her volunteer work. Julieta has never been the smartest person, but she has her academic strengths. 

Her sophomore year in high school is when her instagram started to take off. Julieta posted mostly just photos of her daily life, but as time went on it’s become more in-depth. She expanded to tiktok in college. Julieta has a steady amount of followers on her instagram and tiktok. Her claim to fame has always been her positive outlook on life as well as her fashion sense. 

After graduating high school, Julieta went to a school in California where she was for two years until she decided to transfer to Ogden. While know one knows why she transferred to the school, there are plenty of rumours surrounding it. 

The summer between her last school and Ogden was mostly spent doing events and parties with one of the people that sponsors her page. Julieta did spend a huge chunk of time at home with her mom though. At one of those parties is where she met Greer. 

Julieta is trying to focus on school more now that she’s at Ogden, but sometimes it is difficult, especially with an active missing person’s case going on. She has been doing her best to ignore everything going on. 

RELATIONSHIP TO GREER— The two of them met over the summer at a party over the summer before Julieta transferred to Ogden. It was a brief interaction, but no one knows about it. Julieta only vaguely recognises the face plastered everywhere. 

[inescroy]

&&. announcing her royal highness, ( ines dulce croÿ ), the ( 26 ) year old ( princess ) of ( spain ). she is often confused with ( blanca padilla ). some say that she is ( naïve + dependent ), but she is actually ( idealistic + amiable ).

       about !

youngest of three, has serious identity issues which is quite shameful at 26. grew up obsessed w/ her sisters which was p much her main personality trait ??? she’s a chameleon and will probably shape her personality off her latest obsession, or the last movie character she was fascinated by. she rly doesn’t know who she is

only sibling without the -a last name. her parents had decided on ximena before she was born ( which means listener ), but eventually decided on ines. 

which is a good thing bc she doesn’t shut up

studied english linguistics and international communications in madrid. she stayed close to home bc she has dependency issues and also bc spain is a safe space 

not particularly smart but she’s hard working ! she’s also picked up a bunch of hobbies and failed miserably at all of them. painting is the only one that’s stuck but she’s certainly no van gogh. she’s not even a pollock. 

obsessed with perfumes and candles and things that smell nice. her perfume collection is 264 bottles big but she is very particular with the scents she likes. you will probably be able to smell her before you see her ( good luck levi )

came to the program to see her sis

doesn’t know about katya yet

that’s all

i should have written connections but i did not think that far ahead

like 2 plot pls thank u

[pedropascalunofficial]

My Cousin, Pedro Pascal

Ximena Riquelme

16 NOV 2017 12:53 PM

Before being the protagonist of Narcos or filming with Colin Firth, José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal (42) was a child whom I knew very well because we are from the same family. A man who today looks with nostalgia and some perplexity at his place of origin and his history and who still does not answer what would have happened if he had stayed here.

The first memory I have of Pedro is in the arms of my mother during his baptism, in the garden of my house. She was a weeping bus and had huge black eyes. I was 9 years old. It was cloudy. Years later I learned that the priest was Gerardo Whelan, the legendary rector of Saint George's College. Pedro's parents were not at his baptism: my uncle, José Balmaceda, my mother's only male brother, and his wife Verónica Pascal were asylees at the Venezuelan embassy, which was on Bustos street, near my house. Pepe, as we used to say to my uncle, who years later would become a famous gynecologist, an expert in fertilization, was then a 27-year-old young doctor, in those days wanted by Dina. Some time before they had hidden Andrés Pascal Allende, Mirista and his wife's uncle. One day they came to take him to the José Joaquín Aguirre Hospital and he managed to escape by jumping through the roofs. It was October 1975.

Like most of the Chilean families, there were supporters of both sides in mine: for and against Pinochet. Trying to help Pedro's parents, my dad called a relative who held a high position in the Army. "Tell the children to get asylum, because I cannot guarantee their lives or that nothing happens to Veronica," was his reply. She was 22 years old. Then began the journey of my uncles and with them that of my cousin José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal. Pepe and Verónica had to start living secretly in different houses. Pedro, who was only 6 months old at the time, and his 3-year-old sister Javiera were left in charge of my mother's older sister, "Aunt Juani."

The second memory I have of Pedro is when I accompanied my parents, who carried him and his sister in their arms, to stand on the sidewalk in front of the Venezuelan embassy so that their parents could see them through the window.

My uncles left the Venezuelan embassy for the airport in January 1976, Pedro was 9 months old and obviously does not remember anything. I just remember that they didn't let me go. Pedro could not record the image, which I could not see, of his grandfather Luis Pascal Vigil - a very prominent lawyer - singing the National Anthem on the balcony of Pudahuel. A memory that is not mine but that I adopted, for cute.

As the people of the International Red Cross advised our family on time, Pedro and his sister did not leave the embassy with their parents, but arrived directly at the airport: this allowed their passports not to be stamped with the "L" for " limited to circulate "that stamped on the exiles who left. Therefore, the years that Pedro and Javiera came could come to Chile without problems. And for that reason, the choclón of cousins, we were able to share long summers in Pucón and some winters in Santiago.

The Balmaceda Pascal first arrived in Aarhus, Denmark, in October 1976. A year later they left for San Antonio, Texas, where Pedro's father was able to continue improving himself thanks to a grant from the Rockefeller Foundation. Veronica earned a PhD in Child Psychology.

________________________________________

"But Denmark is invisible to me," Pedro writes me by email. A while ago I proposed to interview him at a distance to travel a little about his history, and here we are, in front of the computer, sharing memories. "It is invisible to me, like everything that happened before. Although once, after telling him about my childhood, a doctor told me that the temporary separation with my mother was trapped in the memory of my body and that I could remember it through the senses".

My cousin, far away

The third memory I have of Pedro is a summer in Pucón. It must have been in 1978. "Pepelo", as we said, was no longer a guagua but a restless, very blond boy, who was so impacted by poverty in Chile that when he went out on the street with his gringo accent, he asked any person: "Are you poor?" He took food out of the pantry and gave it away. With my cousins we rented a warm wooden house, colorful, with the door frames out of square. It was summers with trips to those black sand beaches that burned the feet and picnics in Caburgua with lamb on the stick. They took us to mass and Pedro sang very inspired.

"This is where the memories become more vivid, like dreams," he writes. "I remember so many details: my older cousins, children my age who were like family. The beach seemed endless. I also remember running down the hallways and stairs of Aunt Juani's house looking for Santa Claus at Christmas."

XR: What was it like leaving your parents in the United States?

PP: "I think the trauma was going back to the States, although I obviously wanted to be with my parents. But childhood in Chile, with the Balmaceda and Pascal, was a dream, a world where nothing was missing, pure adventure and love."

Now that he tells me that, I remember that image of Pedro hanging on the neck of our aunt Juani, crying in Pudahuel because she did not want to return. At that time going to the airport was a panorama: we were going en masse to leave him and his sister, who traveled in charge of the stewardesses.

In 1981 I went with my parents and my two sisters to see the Balmaceda Pascal in Texas. I remember an eternal road trip from Miami, I remember Pedro's house, in a middle-class neighborhood, comfortable, beautiful, lovingly arranged by his mother. I remember the tears of my mother and Pedro's mother when we said goodbye to return to Chile. We still didn't know when they could return. Although Pedro never fully returned.

In December 1983, Pepe and Verónica were able to enter Chile. The whole family was packed on the terrace of Pudahuel, waiting for them. I remember the Balmaceda Pascal walking from the stairs of the plane to the International Police. I remember them happy, triumphant. Pedro was 8 years old and chose to stay in my house, in love with my girl sister.

We all went to Quintero, to the house of our grandfather Pepe, a great smoker, tennis player, and fanatic fanatic who took us to the town cinema to see double Tora! Programs, Tora !, Tora! More Bridges on the River Kwai and other old movies. Surely Pedro had to see several. Since he was a boy he said he wanted to be a "director". He liked horror movies and was a big movie consumer, like his dad.

PP: "I remember going to the movies with the cousins and the grandfather to see anything with Clint Eastwood, Sylvester Stallone. They leased me VHS movies to see alone and happy."

XR: You once recited Hamlet on the beach with Grandpa.

PP: "No, it was Death of a Salesman, by Arthur Miller. I was about 14 years old. I videotaped it and lost the fucking camera on the trip back to the United States."

After that summer, Pedro began to come more sporadically. He was already grown up, at school and then at university. They had moved to Newport Beach, California. His father was doing very well. But Pedro, not so much.

PP: "I think that the way the family supported me in Chile was the opposite of what I experienced in Newport Beach. I started well in California but at 13 years old, very involved in the cinema, reading plays, books, TV, TV, TV, obsessed with these things, I had the bad luck to find few like me. It was a world very attached to conservatism and its privileges where not fitting was punished. There was a group of shitty goats who were my friends the first year and became my terrors thereafter. I don't enjoy remembering that time, but there are deep connections from back then. Friends of my parents who are like parents until today."

Pedro's mom soon found a performance arts program at a high school in another district. A more inclusive school compared to Corona del Mar, the neighborhood where they lived in Newport.

PP: "My mom and my driver's license were my salvation. There I was able to unleash my appetite for movies and theater without limits."

As time went by Pedro became a fun, provocative teenager with character. He said he was "lazy", but he went to study Theater at NYU in 1993 and he loved it. I started to see it less. When he came to Chile he went out with his friends, I was already married and having children.

XR: Did you find that our way of life was very boring?

PP: "Bored, no. But overwhelming regarding life's permanent decisions. I didn't have the Catholic structure, and I felt there was no room for a young guy like me. Like suddenly, from one trip of mine to another, you had lives that included marriages and children, and pleasing the visits of the gringo cousin was no longer an option for all of you. I had to duel, because I was jealous of his inattention."

XR: Do you find us very conservative?

PP: "Yes, but it is a major contradiction for me. I come from the perspective that no one can decide how someone else should live their life. And well, in our family there are social rules that are very firm. I think that a person has the right to live his life conservatively or wildly as long as he does not negatively impact anyone or tries to embarrass others by his lifestyle. I don't touch these issues very much with our family for fear of hearing their perspective, but what I do know is that if I ever needed help I could ask any member of our family by the name of Balmaceda, and I would get it."

In 1995, Pedro's parents returned to Chile with their two youngest children, Nicolás and Lucas, who had been born in California. Javiera also came for a couple of years. Pedro stayed in the United States.

PP: "It was a very scary period. I grew up with my family in the United States and from one day to the next there was no home to return to. Suddenly the idea of the safe nest was gone. It was shocking because in previous years I took for granted the privileged life we had in California. I never thought that this could change as suddenly as happened to my parents when they became exiles. Everything felt fragile. Also, I knew that my parents' marriage was wrong and that the tension of those circumstances was hardly going to end. My mother's life felt in danger and the line between needing her, being there for her and finishing my studies and pursuing a career was a horrible conflict. I knew that my mom wanted me to continue doing mine, she never would have wanted me to sacrifice it."

XR: Did you really resent the failure of your parents' marriage?

PP: "For me it was the hardest time. I have not been able, and I do not know if someday I will be able to reconcile completely how my parents separated and the tragedy that came after that separation. The circumstances of my mother's death made it very hard for us to keep her memory of who she was. It hurts so much ... Sometimes I feel distressed and try to face it in the best possible way, because I know that my mother would not like me to do it in any other way."

Pedro lost his mother when he was 24 years old.

PP: "It's hard to say what I remember most about her. You met her, so it is easy for you to understand that she was the love of my life. I think of her every day. Since I don't pray, I can't say that I have a practice to feel her close, but I live for her even though she's gone, and that makes sense to me."

From Alexander to Pedro

XR: Do you believe that pain makes us stronger or does it seem like a horrible cliché?

PP: "I don't think it's a terrible cliche but a profound reality. In some way, losing the most important person in your life, discovering that something like this is possible and that what you fear most in life can happen is an identifiable and permanent moment. There is a before and after after his death. I think, yes, that old age would not have been for my mother, there would have been no footwear with her. Of course, no one wants to grow old, but others can handle it better. I would not have liked to see my mom struggling with it, but at the same time, I wish I had her every day still with me."

It may have been the summer of 2012. Pedro said to our aunt Juani: "I am 37 years old and I still can't get what I want. And it's the only thing I know how to do." It had been a long time since the death of his mother in the summer of 2000 that Pedro had changed his name. From Pedro Balmaceda to Pedro Pascal. He had been searching for years, years of casting where, by being called Pedro Balmaceda in the studios, they hoped to find a Latin or classic Mexican phenotype. He had only made minor appearances in some series.

XR: Although you did not regret it, you did wear Alexander at some point. Why?

PP: "That was a desperate period and directly related to having lost my mother. I was desperate to work, to fill my days with something more to suffer. To eliminate the confusion that casting directors had with this guy named Pedro with European or Caucasian traits, I changed my first name to Alexander and took my mom's last name, Pascal. That only lasted a year, until I was able to find a job and be selected for an Ibsen theatrical classic. But it was too late for people to identify me as "Alex". Also, my mom named me Pedro. So the decision was to call me Pedro Pascal, a name that fits with me more than any other."

Soon after that came Brothers and Sisters, other small roles, and later more important ones in The Good Wife, The Law and Order, The Mentalist, until Game of Thrones, Narcos in 2015 and now, filming Muralla china with Matt Damon and William Dafoe - last year we all went to see his cousins together - and then Kingsman 2 with Colin Firth, Julianne Moore, Jeff Bridges, Halle Berry and Channing Tatum.

XR : Have you ever been excited acting with such powerful actors?

PP: "I have been thrilled with everyone."

With fame have come the new meetings of the cousins with Pedro Pascal. We all want to see him, take pictures of us, we ask him for greetings-chub for friends, we inflate ourselves by saying that he is our cousin. That Peña, the protagonist of Narcos and the sexiest guy in the world, is my cousin-brother. He laughs and humorously calls us "scoundrels" because now we remember him. In fact, that's what our cousin chat on Whastapp is called.

But there is also the modesty to disturb him. Know that you are busy. That while I'm sending you these questions, you're filming in Boston with Denzel Washington. And to feel that there is always a lack of time to speak to him calmly, a space to ask him questions like the ones that occur to me now:

XR: Exile changed your life. Can you imagine growing up in Chile?

PP: "I don't know, because I haven't thought much about it. I have been asked this question all my life and have never been able to come up with an answer. Perhaps my life would have been more complete and solid. What I am used to is that the past disappears as if it had been lived by someone else, in another time."

XR: Do you miss something from when you were Pedro Balmaceda?

PP: "You know? There is very little difference between Pedro Balmaceda and Pedro Pascal. As it is all part of José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal, I feel the same person. But with back problems and more money."

XR: Would you like to start a family?

PP: "Being a dad? I don't know. I have no fucking idea. I love being an uncle. It may just end there. But anything is possible."

XR: Marialy Rivas said something very nice about you on Saturday: that when you play a character, you pretend that this character brought a whole previous story, much bigger than what they are telling. And it's true: you carry a bigger story than you tell it.

PP: "I don't know, cousin. I am very confused trying to organize the past and see what turns out. It helps me understand the pain or be grateful for what I have. Sometimes I feel like I'm a fraud, living between waiting for fame and attention and completely embarrassed by these wishes.

In reference to what Marialy said, I think she means that I put all my confusion, joy and sorrow, ambivalence, hostility, rage, love, lust, greed, compassion, ignorance, knowledge either to indicate a map with the finger on Narcos, throwing an arrow in Game of Thrones, lashing out at Kingsman. Cool! But I think my experience in theater taught me that."

XR: Would you someday like your life to be a script?

PP: "No way." (in english)

XR: Do you still want to be a "director", as you used to say when you were a kid?

PP: "Yes! That will be my way of being a father. Father of a production."

XR: Is dreaming about an Oscar the dream of every actor, even if you don't confess it?

PP: "I confess that possibly… yes."