#✦ thread: sammy's first hunt gone wrong (sam winchester & dean winchester)
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normaltothemax · 3 months ago
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“They’re dead, and it’s all my fault.” The words sounded hollow, but he didn’t think anyone could blame him for that. After all, the hunt went south because of him. People got hurt, got killed, because of him. Because Sam got scared and froze, like a baby. It didn’t even matter that he got hurt too—that’s what he deserved, wasn’t it? A fitting sort of punishment for a screw-up like that.
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calaofnoldor · 4 years ago
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Sixth Time’s the Charm [4]
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(GIF credit: @teamfreewill-imagine)
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Characters: Sam x F!Reader, Dean
Words: 6,107
Series Summary: All the times Dean has tried to get Sam to admit his feelings for you. (Each chapter can be read as a stand-alone.)
Chapter Summary: You offer yourself as bait for a shapeshifter hunt. Things do not go as planned.
Warnings: canon level violence, language, idiots in love, mutual pining, huffy!sam, protective!sam, slight angst?, slow burn, fluff
A/N: i am SO sorry for the wait (story of my life) but to make up for it, look, 6k words! (yeah i’m sorry about that too, i don’t know what happened there.) written for @tvdspngirl314‘s birthday writing event with the prompt “You ever feel like that? Like you were just destined for someone?” which is bolded in the fic. this also fills a square for @spnfluffbingo​!
Square Filled: Rescue Mission
← BACK UP | MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST
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The fourth time was all you. Dean barely had to lift a finger. The result, however, was far more traumatic than he had planned and rather emphatically revealed the magnitude of his brother’s feelings toward you.
Much like the previous attempts, there was a case: a shapeshifter going after women who conveniently happened to fit your description. The strategy was obvious, and you’d leaped at the opportunity to both make yourself useful and hopefully take the place of what would have otherwise been the next innocent civilian victim. But of course, Sam resisted at first.
“No. Absolutely not! We don’t know enough about this guy for you to just jump into his waiting arms, Y/N!” The fervent indignation in his tone and body language was palpable. Sam was rarely one to raise his voice or sport much of a temper at all really, but lately these heated outbursts seemed to be occurring more frequently, and frankly you were getting sick of it. The false hope they momentarily granted you through the notion that perhaps he cared about you as more than a friend was one thing. What’s more, the way his voice lowered half an octave combined with the sight of his flared nostrils, puffed chest, and straining jaw always seemed to have a sideways effect on you, in that it was impossible to keep your attention on his words alone. But boy did you try.
“Sam, how many times do we have to go through this? I’m a big girl; I can take care of myself. And your wrist is still healing so it’s not like you can call the shots on this one anyway. Besides, I’m not going in alone. You and Dean will be there for backup the whole time, right?”
“’Course we will, eh Sammy?” In a strange turn of events, Dean often appeared to be the one with a more jovial outlook recently.
Sam merely nodded and continued his heavy breathing. He glared down at his bandaged left wrist, the result of skirmish with a couple of wraiths, as if it were the root of all his problems. Then he looked up and through densely drawn brows, those magnetizing multicolored eyes pierced yours, his countenance bearing a charged and sullen expression of pensive exasperation as his jaw visibly tightened. You swallowed and could not for the life of you find the will to look away.
“So it’s settled then,” Dean proclaimed jubilantly, “Unless… you’ve got another reason you don’t want Y/N playing bait, hmm Sam? Maybe something you wanna share with the class? Or, you know, I could leave…”
“Dean, stop it. You’re not helping,” you quickly admonished before steadying your gaze back on the taller Winchester, “Look, Sam, have I ever let you down?”
“No. Never.”
“And do you still trust me?”
“Of course,” he responded immediately in a ‘what-kind-of-a-question-is-that’ tone, at which you simply raised your eyebrow to send him a reciprocating ‘then-what’s-the-problem?’ look.
“OK fine,” Sam huffed out a big breath, “But you’re not taking any risks! Anything seems off at all, just… promise me you’ll wait for me and Dean and keep us in the loop?”
His pleading eyes were so earnest and you’d truly never been able to say no to the giant puppy before, so you offered him a little smile and said, “Cross my heart.”
Sighing, Sam rubbed his face, looking lost in thought for a moment until he spoke up again, much more reserved and hesitant this time, “Do you still have that uh… ring from… that time?” Dean muffled a snort at his brother’s expense but you both ignored him, completely accustomed to his nonsensical teasing by now.
“Uh yeah, I- I think so.” The uncertainty in your voice was a lie. Of course you still had the ring you’d once used to pretend to be married to Sam Winchester. You may or may not have tucked it away in a special place for safekeeping.
“Good,” Sam nodded curtly, “I want you to wear it. It’s silver. I’ll wear mine too and Dean already has his. That’s how we’ll know that we’re still… ourselves.”
“OK, yeah that’s a good idea,” you agreed, trying your hardest not to linger on the memories.
“Well look at you two! Getting hitched again so soon-“
“Shut up, Dean,” you and Sam cut him off together.
When the meeting was adjourned and you were about to part ways to prepare for the upcoming hunt, something inside you forced you to call out his name, “Oh and Sam!” He turned around at once, questioning gaze somewhat urgently searching yours for a sign of what might come next. You stuttered though, feeling suddenly self conscious, so the next words you uttered were not much louder than a whisper, “Be careful with your wrist.”
Sam smiled, his dimples making your fingers twitch with the need to caress them. “I’ll be fine. You just look out for yourself. Remember, we’ll be right behind you.”
Somehow you both didn’t hear the groan Dean emitted as he rolled his eyes to the ceiling and prayed to whoever was listening, ‘Good lord, someone give me the strength to survive another day with these imbeciles.’
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There was only one diner in the tiny Pennsylvanian town, and seeing as you were starving by the time you got there, the three of you were forced to make do with soggy fries and questionable milkshakes. As you ate, you went through your game plan once more, which essentially consisted of waiting until nightfall to visit the bar from where the previous girls had gone missing, while Sam and Dean shadowed you covertly.
Before you left, you took a quick trip to the loo and when you returned, Sam was stood outside alone, a broad smile upon his face.
“Where’s Dean?” you asked as you began to walk out the diner, expecting to find the older brother waiting impatiently in the parking lot by his precious car, but the Impala was gone.
“He went back to the motel, said he had something to take care of and that we should go scope the place out first.”
“But I thought we agreed to-“
“Yeah, well change of plans, you know how it is,” Sam replied casually with a shrug.
Little red flags started fluttering in your head, urging your eyes downward to locate the silver band on his finger. You frowned when you found it there untouched on his right hand; Sam almost never interrupted you, not even when he was absorbed in the foulest of moods.  
Apparently sensing your hesitation, he added, “I mean, he made a good point. Maybe if you familiarize yourself with the surroundings first, you’ll be able to take the guy out faster.”
Sam was still smiling at you, but it felt all wrong. You couldn’t explain it, but there was something missing from his rainbow eyes. The colors were all there, but they lacked luster and warmth, a delicate twinkle that you’d learned to associate with the beautiful, heroic yet self-doubting giant of a man. Never had you seen that breathtaking magic replicated elsewhere, nor had you ever seen Sam without it, which was why you were almost completely certain that the man before you was not the real Sam Winchester.
But weaving within you was a thread of doubt, insisting that you couldn’t just pull a gun on your best friend because of something as trivial as… a feeling? No, you needed to test your theory. And so, bracing yourself with a deep breath, you slowly reached out your silver-equipped hand to do something you’d grown accustomed to resentfully abstaining from: touching Sam’s bare skin. You aimed for the large target of his hand, deeming it the most inconspicuous of places (given that he was wearing his hunters’ uniform and the only other visible option would’ve been his face or neck), but Sam was faster. Just before you were able to graze his skin with your ring, he caught your wrist in his much bigger hand and pulled it away, twisting your arm until it was locked painfully behind you.
“You think you’re smart, huh?” the shifter snarled with a flash of its eyes, moving in real close as he used Sam’s immense size and his own superhuman strength to easily constrain you.
Even so, you stared up at him defiantly, unafraid, “Sam and Dean will be back.”
“That’s the plan.”
Sam’s sneering face and threatening voice were the last things you saw or heard.
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You had no way of determining how much time had passed when you unceremoniously came to in what looked and smelled to be an underground sewer. As your senses sharpened and your muddled brain began to size up your current plight, you nearly scoffed at the clichéd style of your captor. Sat on a peeling wooden chair, manila rope bound your wrists together behind your back and tethered your ankles securely to each of the seat’s front legs.
Ignoring the ache in your head, you set about strategically testing the knots and the integrity of the wood. If only you could reach the silver blade in your boot. But your attempts were interrupted by the reappearance of the shifter, whose shoe hit something as he stepped before you. A metallic clang echoed through the confined space as a result and you followed the sound to find your coveted knife on the ground, far beyond your reach.
“Fucking hunters, always think they’re so clever, always one step ahead because it’s their game. Sure, we might be the monsters but you’re the predators! So let’s see how you like being the prey for once.” Shifter Sam’s upper lip curled up in a way that seemed so foreign to you as he leaned forward to rest his hands on either arm of your chair, caging you in.
The malicious glint in his eye left you with no qualms about affronting this being who, for all intents and purposes, appeared identical to the man you’d recently discovered you were in love with. Lifting your chin, you glared up at him brazenly, “If you’re so keen on being the predator then why am I still alive? What are you waiting for?”
“Why your knight in shining armor of course!” he exclaimed, backing up as he stood to his full height and gestured to himself with both hands. “You think it was a coincidence that all those women looked like you?”
The shifter’s narrowed eyes were alight with amusement and a ripple of fear surged through your body. You were in much deeper than you or the boys had anticipated, though years of practice helped you keep your voice steady and bold, “What did you do to them?”
“Oh, I gave them a fairly painless death, don’t you worry. They were just stepping stones on my way to you. See, the Winchesters owe me a girlfriend, so I figured I’d take the closest thing to theirs. But imagine my joyous surprise when I got into this big lug’s head and discovered that he’s in love with you! No, actually it’s more than that. He’s obsessed with you; you never leave his brain! Every other thought and memory is about you... Well, it’s either you or his brother, but oh, it’s gonna kill him to see you die before his eyes. I might’ve been able to replace my dead girlfriend, but I don’t think Sam here will ever come back from losing you.”
Stunned into silence, the stupid influx of misguided hormones pumping through your veins forced you to focus on maintaining a neutral expression as he rattled on.
“And you feel the same way, don’t you? So this really will be a double kill. It’s OK, you can let it all out. I might be a monster but I’m not one to deny the dying their chance for some last words. Besides, you can say it all while looking into the eyes of the man you love.”
“Fuck you,” were the only words you could trust yourself to spit out at him.
‘Sam’ laughed, but it was nothing like the laughs you normally pulled from him. It didn’t radiate like sunshine or replenish your soul with glee. Rather, it was chilling and conniving and despite the mimicry of Sam’s beautiful voice, you immediately decided that you never wanted to hear it again.
“Not feeling too talkative, huh? Or maybe you’d rather wait until he gets here in the flesh to make that anticlimactic confession of love? That’s alright, I can just tell you more about this dumbass’s feelings for you.” The shifter chuckled with delight, as if every word brought him nothing but pure joy. “Man, he loves you so much, it’s insane. I’ve never been inside the skin of someone so in love. And I thought I really loved my ex. Afterall, this whole revenge thing is for her. But I gotta tell ya, I’ve got nothing on Sam Winchester. Did you know he thinks you were made specifically for him? You ever feel like that? Like you were just destined for someone? Cause Sam does. That’s how he feels about you.”
“Why should I believe you?” you challenged, growing tired of the inadvertent response his words were eliciting. Your heart was pounding in your neck, core trembling at the mere possibility of Sam genuinely feeling the way he’d described. But you knew better than to trust a monster, and one who was in pursuit of maximal vengeance no less. Still, those rose-colored thoughts resonated within you, and you stumbled to dismiss them as they bubbled up, one after another like a game of emotional whack-a-mole.
Shifter Sam smirked, “Yeah, you’re a cynical one, aren’t you? You know everything he said in that marriage counseling session was true. You kinda hurt his feelings when you just brushed it all off. Even big brother Dean’s been trying to get him to confess his love for you. You must’ve heard them arguing about it at some point? They weren’t exactly being discreet.”
Choosing not to respond, you simply scowled at him.
“No? Still in denial? Perhaps you need details… You ever notice how he always sits across from you whenever you’re doing research? It’s because he thinks you’re gorgeous when you’re focused, and it gives him an opportunity to admire you without getting caught. And why do you think he lets you call him Sammy, huh? Yeah, he might not let it on but he fucking loves it when you do, makes him feel all tingly inside. And you remember that cop who hit on you? Captain Anderson, was it? Sam wanted to break the guy’s nose just for touching you. Oh and why do you think he asked you to move into the bedroom closest to his? It’s so he can keep track of your nightmares. He likes to keep you close because it makes him feel like he can protect you better when you need it.”
By now, your ‘neutral expression’ must have surely mutated to betray your shock, and you couldn’t have answered if you tried. The shifter didn’t seem to mind either way. In fact, he appeared to be having the time of his life.
“And it’s not all pure thoughts, let me tell you! Oh man, buddy boy here has dreamed up plenty of X-rated scenes with you, ranging from obnoxiously romantic to just plain obscene. You name a position and he’s imagined it, in high-definition detail,” he embellished, tapping an index finger against his temple, “His mind is like a library of pornos starring the two of you, although he’ll never get to live out any of his fantasies, will he? It’s a shame really; some of these are really hot... Ooh, I’ll have to borrow that one,” he said with closed eyes, as if a figment of Sam’s imagination was playing through his head in that very moment, “Maybe my girl and I can re-enact it while we’re still in your skins-”
“Shut up, just shut up!” you finally bellowed in protest.
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Sam watched the bathroom door attentively after you’d disappeared through it, unable to contain the upward jerk of his lips when he saw you walking back out of it. Heartwarming relief had become his body’s intrinsic response to seeing you safe and sound.
“You ready?” he questioned when you made it to his side.
“Yeah, I’m good.” God, even the sound of your voice made him happy.
Once you got back to the motel, Dean plopped down onto one of the full-size beds, exhausted from the drive. Within a matter of seconds, snores began to fill the room, and Sam chuckled under his breath as he sat down around a wobbly table with you to continue your research on the shifter’s victims, hoping to find something else that linked them together or a clue as to where they might’ve been taken.
It wasn’t long before you inhaled a revelatory gasp and abruptly clutched Sam’s wrist to show him what you’d found. But your grip was harsh, causing him to hiss in pain and do something he’d never before done: recoil from your touch.
“Oh, I’m sorry, does it still hurt?” you asked nonchalantly, smiling up at him innocently.
Worse than the pain in his fractured wrist was what felt like sirens blaring in his head. You were always hyper-cognizant of his injuries and exceedingly careful around them, sometimes even more so than himself. Sam looked you over subtly, eyes landing on the silver ring still upon your finger. Perhaps his mind had been playing tricks on him and all that tender attention he thought you’d shown him was simply a mirage of his own wishful thinking?
“It’s fine, I just wasn’t expecting it.” Sam sent you a tight smile, to which you responded with a dazzling one of your own. It was beautiful but something about it felt off. In the past, you apologized profusely if ever you found yourself the accidental cause of his discomfort, no matter how indirect or insignificant the case, but right now there wasn’t a single speck of concern in your eyes. Indeed, the more he looked into them, the more he struggled to recognize the person staring back at him.
In a flash, Sam had you up against the wall, a silver blade held against your neck. He looked down to see the metal sizzling there, burning your flesh, and cursed himself for failing to notice sooner.
The noise woke Dean from his slumber and what he saw when he opened his eyes was equal parts shocking and amusing. “Whoa! At least wait till I’m out of the room! And isn’t that a little kinky for your first time?”
“Dean, it’s not her. She’s not Y/N,” Sam grit out, “She’s wearing the ring but she’s not Y/N.”
His brother’s brows knit together as he rubbed the sleep from his emerald greens. “Wha- How did you know?”
“She was acting… weird.”
Dean scrambled off the bed, making a quick call on his phone to ensure you really were missing. He paled when a robotic voice over the line told him the number he was trying to reach was no longer in service.
It was then the shifter decided to speak up, “You know, the real Y/N would have liked this, you pressing her up against a wall?” she murmured suggestively.
“Shut up. Where is she?!” Sam slammed her body against the flimsy motel wall once more and dug the knife in a little deeper. In his panic-stricken state, he barely registered her remark, being driven entirely by a one-track mind at present.
Shifter Y/N grimaced slightly, glancing down at the knife, “Maybe if you stop cutting into me with that, I might consider telling you.”
“How did you get the ring?”
“Oh, this little thing? You like it? It’s imitation silver, but otherwise nearly identical to the one on the real Y/N’s finger. You see, we’ve been following you for a while now.”
“Who’s we? Where did you take Y/N?!” he demanded incessantly.
“My boyfriend’s got her, but don’t worry, he looks just like you so I’m sure she’ll find her accommodations to her liking,” she retorted with a smirk.
Sam’s heart lunged in his chest and his mind began whirring with endless possibilities of escalating dread. Had you been deceived and captured by a shifter pretending to be him? Were you being hurt or tortured by someone who looked exactly like him? How would you ever be able to look at him the same way again? Of course, you’d know it wasn’t Sam but the damage would still be done. You would forever remember his face as that of someone who once hurt you, who tried to kill you. That is, if Sam could make it to you in time.
“Don’t worry, you’ll get to see her one last time. That’s actually why I’m here, to take you to her when the time is right,” the shifter added casually.
“I will end your miserable fucking life! Tell me where she is right now!” Sam roared before pressing the blade further into her neck, the veins in his forearms ready to burst through his skin.
“Hey, hey! Sammy, ease up! We need her alive, alright?” Dean bounded over to his brother and after quite the struggle, managed to assuage him enough to release his vice grip and replace it with silver chains that shackled her to a chair.
“Sam, maybe we should also be asking ‘why’,” Dean mused as he fastened the end of a chain against one of the beds.
With a shake of his head, Sam avowed through grinding teeth, “I don’t fucking care. I have to get to her.”
“And what if it’s a trap?”
“Then I’ll find her myself.”
Dean scoffed in disbelief as he turned to his usually wise and level-headed little brother, “Oh yeah, and how’re you gonna do that? Where would you even start?”
“I don’t know!” Sam exclaimed in exasperation. Then, after a pause of desperate deliberation alleged, “Shifters like to make their lairs in sewers, right?”
Taking a step closer, Dean maintained his challenging tone, “So what are you gonna do, just wade through the entire town’s shit and piss until you find her?!”
“If that's what it takes, then yes!” Sam looked like he was about to eat his brother alive.
“Aww, that’s so sweet,” shifter Y/N interfered from her seated position before them, raising her chin to meet Sam’s eyes, “Don’t worry, handsome, I can tell you she feels the same way. But unfortunately, by the time you get to her, I don’t think she’ll be able to tell you herself. In fact, you’ll probably hardly recognize her anymore… so you might want to keep me around, if only as a souvenir of your soon-to-be-dead girlfriend.”
Sam couldn’t contain himself anymore. Despite looking like a carbon copy of you, the evil gleam in the shifter’s eyes made her easily differentiable, and so Sam held back nothing when he lunged across the distance, knife in hand ready to do some real damage. However, Dean pounced with him, having predicted his brother’s violent eruption and felt his shaking wrath, knowing a little too well just how rash he could be when it came to you. Still, it took all of Dean’s strength to pull Sam back, sending him a stern but knowing look once he did.
“Sam, stop!” His low voice rumbled as he went into authoritative big brother mode, “Listen to me, you wanna save Y/N? Well so do I, but this is not how we do it! Now I know it’s hard, but I need you to calm down, alright?”
Sam’s massive chest was practically at his chin as he heaved ginormous breaths. Though his body language was still offensive, his hazel eyes were filled with fear and devastation when they looked toward his brother, “Dean, if I don't get to her in time, I’ll...” Clenching his jaw, Sam made a fruitless attempt to calm his tremoring frame and quell his tumultuous emotions. What would he do? Sam wasn’t even sure himself. All he knew was that every cell in his being was currently screaming at him to get to you, to make sure you were safe and soothe away any of your pain. There was nothing he wouldn’t give in that moment to simply know you were alright and to hold you in his arms. He knew you could look after yourself, but for once he had a terrifying feeling that even you were in over your head, that you might actually need him this time, and he’d be fucking damned if he let you down.
“Woah! Hey, hey! Sammy, look at me! That ain’t gonna happen, alright? We’re gonna find Y/N and we’re gonna bring her home in one piece, you hear me? We’re the Winchesters, man! We’ve faced the end of the world. What’s a couple of shifters got on us?”
‘You,’ Sam thought, ‘They’ve got you.’ But he appreciated Dean’s pep talk nonetheless and nodded in response as a fresh surge of determination swelled within him.
“Alright then,” Dean nodded as well, “Why don’t you let me give her a go?”
As Dean’s silver blade cut into the detained shapeshifter, Sam flinched with every moan and howl of agony. He knew it wasn’t you, but she still had your voice and your perfect face. Yet not a second was wasted on the feeling of relief when they finally managed to get a location out of her. Sam nearly tripped over himself in his haste as he snatched the Impala’s keys and his gun before flying out of the room with a jumbled order for Dean to stay with the monster.
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“Well, if you’re not gonna admit your feelings for the giant lumberjack, I guess you’re right. Maybe I should stop yapping and get to prettying you up for that first and last date of yours, huh?” Shifter Sam prodded your cheek with a switchblade.
You said nothing. At this point, you had a sneaking suspicion that physical pain might be more bearable than the psychological torment your imprisoner had been so keen on. It was one thing for you to torture yourself by entertaining the slim possibility that Sam might return your feelings for him, but to hear such outrageous perceptions from a creature who could read the inside of his mind like a paperback novel, and conveyed with such tantalizing conviction… well, it just about broke you.
And knowing that the shifter was yearning to coax a confession out of you simply to cause Sam as much anguish as possible made you more resolute about your refusal to submit, beyond the need to protect your own sanity.
One shiner and a slash to the thigh later, however, you heard a loud clash. Shifter Sam paused his handiwork and began to turn around, “Could your knight be here ahead of schedule?”
‘Dammit,’ you thought. The Winchesters were usually capable of being stealthy when necessary but in case it really was the sound of them making a blunder or encountering some other form of resistance, you figured you’d buy them a distraction.
“Wait, wait! You’re right, OK? Maybe I do feel something for Sam, but even if I told him, I think you’re forgetting… This is Sam fucking Winchester we’re talking about here. He’s been tortured by the devil himself. You really think killing me is going do much damage?”
Your abductor had now given you his full attention, leering at you with a sly smile, so you continued, “Besides, you picked a fight with the Winchesters; don't expect to live to see tomorrow.”
Right on cue, a hulking blur of hair and plaid came barreling in, growling ferally as he grabbed the shifter and threw more than one brutal punch against what appeared to be his own face. The silver ring on Sam’s hand made contact with skin and his shifter counterpart groaned in pain.
You nearly forgot about your ceaseless work of untying the rope that cuffed your wrists together as your looked on in shock. Why Sam hadn’t just shot him with a silver bullet was beyond you. He was smarter than this. There was no need to drag out a monster’s death if a more efficient option existed. But as he continued to engage his clone in hand-to-hand combat, it appeared almost as if he was venting his frustrations on the shifter, as if he drank up every ounce of hurt he was able to inflict. But his high only lasted so long and shifter Sam soon regained his balance, making use of his supernatural invulnerability and superior strength.
“Sam!” you screamed as the shifter threw him across the room.
He tumbled up just in time as the shifter meandered over, “So nice of you to join us, Sam. You know, Y/N here was just telling me about-“
Sam didn’t wait for him to finish, choosing instead to tackle him to the floor with a loud grunt. While they wrestled on the ground, you worked furiously at the knots behind you, wincing with every hit Sam took though it was becoming hard to tell them apart.
When Sam finally drew his gun, the shifter was able to divert its barrel and a shot rang out futilely. Catching a subsequent elbow to the ribs had Sam falling to his knees and you watched in horror as shifter Sam once again gained the upper hand, sending the gun flying out of Sam’s grasp. The binding around your wrists was just about undone when Sam seized a stray rusty pipe and swung it against his counterfeit. Shifter Sam was incapacitated for a brief instant but quickly returned to form with some vicious hooks and a couple of well-placed knees.
With your hands finally free of their restraints, you staggered over to the gun, the chair still attached at your ankles. As you took aim, you shouted, “Sam, get down!” before you shot his mirror image through the heart.
Sighing, you slumped to your hands and knees whilst the real Sam sat up with his back against a wall, gaping at you with a look of awe. Yet before he even caught his breath, he was up and gliding toward you, cradling his left wrist at an awkward angle.
“Sam, your wrist!”
“It’s fine, are you OK?” he swiftly dismissed your concern, cupping your face with his good hand as he examined the darkening bruise around your eye.
You ignored the palpitations in your chest and placed a hand upon his wrist, “Yeah, I’m fine. He wasted more time playing mind games than anything. You know villains and their monologues,” you joked, trying to ease his tension and the deluded self-imposed guilt you knew he must’ve been brewing in.
As if to prove your point, Sam lamented, “God, I’m so sorry. I should have known. I should have gotten here sooner.”
“What? No! They were miles ahead of us, Sam. The whole thing was a set up; this was their hunt. How could you have known?”
Rather than replying, he released a breath and busied himself trying to help you out of your binding.
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Back at the motel, after icing your eye and stitching up your thigh, you insisted on re-wrapping Sam’s wrist while Dean took care of shifter Y/N’s remains. But when the older Winchester returned and spied you and his brother sitting together on a bed through a crack in the door, he couldn’t resist the chance to exercise his espionage skills.
“How did you know she wasn’t me anyway?” you asked as you gently wound the ace bandage around Sam’s swollen forearm.
“I just…” He looked down at your nimble fingers upon his skin and smiled unwittingly at their tender touch, “had a feeling.”
Sam’s sunflower gaze locked onto yours for a frozen instant and something about his soft expression made you forget what words were, until he cleared his throat, “Did you um- did you know he wasn’t me?”
“Yeah,” you confirmed, smiling for some strange reason. Perhaps you were just glad to see his trademark twinkle return to those otherworldly eyes. “Pretty soon after actually. I… had a feeling too.”
Sam’s dimples made every ache in your body disappear as that twinkle glistened in full force, “And how’d you know which one to shoot?”
Well, that dampened your mood and brought you back to the task at hand, “Oh, I don’t know, maybe because you kept grimacing every time you used your left wrist?” Although your words had a bitter force behind them, the pressure beneath your fingertips never increased and Sam had almost completely forgotten about his pain.
You, on the other hand, were reminded of your struggle to reconcile with what had happened since his question prompted a restored and growing frustration.
It had been bugging you the whole time and you felt compelled to confront him about it because storming in alone with a bad wrist, ready to throw hands with an out-of-his-league monster was really not Sam’s style. Something must’ve gotten into him and with everything the shifter had told you, you couldn’t help but wonder. Nevertheless, you were a little afraid of how he might answer, so Dean had to lean in closer to hear your next words.
“Why didn’t you just shoot him?”
“W-what do you mean?” Sam stammered out after a pause.
“Sam, you have a broken wrist, but instead of sending Dean or using your gun from the get-go, you came in like a madman and went after him with your fists!” Your voice was full of incredulity though it also carried an undertone of anger.
As Sam picked up on that reproachful tone, you could almost feel the telltale signs of his puppy dog eyes coming on. “He used my face to deceive you, to hurt you. They manipulated us. I had to- ...I mean, he killed those women just to get us here. He had it coming!”
Your hopes plummeted. Of course, Sam was ever the righteous man. Why would you assume his brashness had been purely born out of a need to avenge you? Though regardless of his reason, you were still upset about his self-destructing behavior, “Yeah, but you had to have realized you were in no position to be the one to give it to him, right? I mean, you might’ve looked the same but he was juiced up on monster superpowers, Sam… which meant he was stronger and faster, not to mention uninjured, in his own territory, and apparently the only one with a sound plan.”
A breath of laughter left Sam’s lips though there was no smile on his face. Here he’d been on a mission to save you, but you were the one who’d ended up saving him, again. You must’ve thought he was comically stupid and pathetically useless. How could he possibly think he was worthy of you? “I guess I should thank you for saving my ass again, huh?”
“What?! No! That’s not what I mean. Sam, you’re the one who saved me! And I’m beyond grateful for it, really I am. I just wish you didn’t hurt yourself more in the process.” You finally finished up with his wrist wrap, securing the final ends with a clip, and letting your hands linger on his for longer than necessary, momentarily distracted by the disparity of size between them. Sam didn’t appear uncomfortable though, as his fingers twitched closer to yours and he made no move to pull away.
He couldn’t help but smile again when he noticed the sincere concern in your eyes that was previously absent in the shifter’s. “Yeah well, what was it you once said to me? ‘Your ass will always be worth it’?” 
“And if I remember correctly, you once told me you don’t do things on hunts that make your injuries worse,” you quoted him back with an arched brow.
“Yeah well, I guess this is payback. Now you know how I felt.” A playful grin made his dimples deepen and you clenched your jaw to refrain from gushing over the ridiculous cuteness of this ‘giant lumberjack’.
“You’re an idiot.”
“As long as you’re OK,” Sam answered assuredly, and you nearly melted when his free hand caressed your cheek for the second time that day, big thumb tracing a feather-light path below the purpled skin.
‘You’re both fucking idiots,’ Dean groaned internally from the other side of the door. He knew he had no choice but to up his game.
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thanks so much for reading! feedback is greatly appreciated!
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Confessions
Author: @lettersofwrittencollective​​
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Word Count: 1797
Prompt: You’ve shown me what love can feel like. - from @nicole-lynne​ 350 follower challenge!!
Summary: When Dean finds some stitches on you, it leads to yelling and storming and then confessing. 
Masterlist || Supernatural Masterlist
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Finishing up the stitching on your lower back, you used your teeth to cut the thread.
Weeks and weeks of fighting alongside the Winchesters will soon be coming to an end. The vamp nest you’d tried to take out at the beginning of this had been older than you’d realized and there’d been more than you’d ever expected. 
When they’d fled, a few of the leaders had managed to get out and they’d taken off to different parts of the country, leaving the three of you on a chase around town. 
During that time, you’d managed to get closer to the boys - sharing motel room after motel room had that effect. But through it all - you had managed to get closer to Dean. 
Which was frustrating, to say the least. 
Not because there was anything wrong with Dean but because you found yourself falling for the green-eyed man all over again. 
The first time you had met the Winchesters, you had only met Dean. You were 21 and he was 22. You’d lost a friend to werewolves and that was how you had been introduced to the supernatural. 
Dean and his dad had tried to pull some kind of FBI-thing but Dean had been a lot sweeter than his dad and as they worked the case, you found yourself talking to him more and more. 
After they’d left you and Dean had stayed in touch. A couple of times, he had been nearby or driving through and the two of you would meet up and grab some burgers and pie. This occasionally led to sleeping together. 
Dean would call you on occasion, just to talk he said, and he would always ask you to tell him about happy things. About good things going on in your life. But usually,  after these, he would go missing for weeks on end. 
It wasn’t until a few years later after you’d started hunting yourself that you realized that those calls were likely when a hunt had gone wrong.
Dean hadn’t been too happy when he learned you’d started hunting. 
In fact, the two of you had screamed at each other, back and forth for hours and he’d left in such a huff that you’d thought you weren’t going to see him again.
You’d heard stories about what Dean and Sam had gotten up to. About the yellow-eyed demon and the angels and leviathans and all the other things. You’d met up a couple of times, here and there to help each other out with a hunt but it seemed that things between you and Dean were always just a little off. 
You’d actually been surprised when he’d called for this last hunt. But you’d jumped in your Camaro and driven all night and day to get clear across the country and the three of you had quickly moved about the hunt. 
Now just the one bastard remained. 
Sam was pretty sure he knew where it was and you’d all be heading out in the morning but for now, it was a matter of just getting a couple hours of rest and then heading back out.
Currently, Sam was showering and Dean was on a food run. You hadn’t told either one about your popped stitch but it wasn’t like you hadn’t stitched yourself up before and you weren’t about to shy away from it now. 
Just as you finished tying up the thread, the door opened and you turned to see Dean walking in. 
“Shit Sorry Y/N!” he called out when he realized you were shirtless. 
“Relax De,” you muttered as you pulled up a towel to cover your chest and turned so that he would be staring mostly at your back. 
What you didn’t take into account, however, was Dean seeing the fresh stitches. 
“What the hell is that?!” came the angry shout as you hear. 
Turning, you find that he’s dropped the chow bags onto one of the beds but you barely have time to register it as his arms are on yours and he’s turning you back around, his hands coming to the cut on your back, sending shivers down your spine. 
“Y/N… Sweetheart,” he grits out, “How did that happen?”
“De,” you mutter, you already know that he’s going to try and force it and you’ll give in, eventually, but your pride won’t let you give in immediately, “It’s nothing.”
“That’s not what I asked,” he reminded you and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. 
The sound of another door opening and you turned to see Sammy walking out of the shower, towel slung low on his hips. He looked between the two of you.  You could feel Dean’s eyes turning and glaring into you, again, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the taller hunter.  
“Guys?” Sam asks and you can see the confusion on his face.
You open your mouth to tell him that his brother is being ridiculous only for Dean to cut you off with a harsh, “Not now Sammy. Y/N here’s been hiding somethin from us.”
You couldn’t help but scoffing and crossed your arms as you turned to glare at him, “I wonder why I’d do that?! Maybe because I knew you’d blow this out of proportion. It’s just a set of stitches Dean, it’s not like I’m bleeding out!”
“No, but you had been!” the green-eyed hunter practically roared at you. 
Groaning, you stalked across the room and grabbed the first shirt you came across and shrugged it on as you moved to leave the room. 
Dean moved to step in front of you and you raised an eyebrow at him, daring him to try and stop you. 
The two of you stared at each other for a moment, and you could see Dean’s mind moving a hundred miles an hour. You’re saved by Sam calling his name, distracting him just long enough for you to dart past him and out of the motel room. 
Making your way to your car, you quickly realized that you didn’t have your damn keys on you. They were still in your jacket pocket. The jacket that was currently thrown on the bed in the room. 
Huffing, you rolled up the sleeves of the shirt you were currently wearing, catching a whiff of the cologne and, instantly, you could feel yourself relax. 
It was Dean’s cologne. 
You’d been with him the first time he’d picked up this particular cologne. The two of you had picked out scents for the other one on a silly dare. The two of you had gotten each other something - he’d picked out something for you that had smelled like apples and water lilies, It had actually become one of your favorite scents and you had mostly worn it when you knew you’d see Dean but occasionally for a date or just to remind yourself of him. 
But this one, this one was highly distinctive, citrus-fresh with grapefruit, and a hint of mint and cedar. It had reminded you of a lazy morning, post-sex Dean in all the best possible ways and you had actually gone back to pick up a smaller bottle of it after he’d left.
Taking a look at the shirt you were wearing, you realized that the shirt you’d grabbed had been one of Dean’s flannels. It was actually one of your favorite ones 
This one was a simple red and black one but it always made your mouth water when you would see him in it. Though to be fair, it wasn’t very difficult to get your mouth to water when it came to him. But this one… you’re not sure what it was about this one but it was definitely worth every last moment of it. 
Pulling the flannel tighter against you, you moved to sit on the hood of your Camaro. 
Watching the cars driving by, it wasn’t long before you heard the motel doors open and you knew that Dean was making his way out. When he made it to the car, you scooted over slightly and motioned for him to sit down. 
He began to say your name but you shook your head, “Just trust me for a minute, alright?”
“I always trust you,” he pointed out and you couldn’t help but chuckle as you shook your head. 
“Alright then, humor me.”
You watched him nod his head before he moved so that he was sitting next to you on the hood. 
“It was about two vamps ago,” you told him. You could feel him stiffen beside you and you didn’t blame him, that particular vamp had been particularly nasty. Quickly moving on, trying to reassure him, you told him, “Don’t worry it wasn’t the vamp itself. Remember when we chased after him and got separated near the harbor?”
Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Dean nod his head. Scotting closer to him, the two of you found yourselves in your second favorite position, with you tucked up next to him, head on his shoulder and you let out a chuckle, “Well turns out my balance was crap that day. I managed to fall and got caught on some of the barbed wire, it tore up the skin pretty bad but one of the barbs decided it wanted to really dig in. By the time I was able to get out of it, I managed to find you and Sam fighting the damned bastards and ended up splattered in blood. 
We got back to the motel and since I had called the first shower and you two were basically dead tired, I was able to clean it up and patch it up.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked and you could hear the hurt in his voice. 
“Oh De,” you whispered, before pulling away from his shoulder only to turn your body to face him, “I didn’t want you to worry. You get so… overbearingly protective when you think I’m not at my peak and we still had three move vamps to go- I didn’t want you worrying about me.”
Green eyes met yours and you saw something in them… something you knew was reflected in your own. 
The thing with Dean was that… He’d taught you what love felt like and you knew that no matter where you went or who you met, no one would ever compare to Dean. 
Before you’d even realized it, you could feel his lips on yours and it felt like you could finally breathe.
Fisting your hands in his shirt and tugging him towards you, you can feel him move you and pulling away slightly, you find that you’re in his lap. 
“I need you stay safe,” he whispers against your temple before he leaned back in to kiss you again. 
Returning the kiss, the two of you found yourselves getting lost in each other. The sound of a honking car pulling the two of you apart from each other. 
Chuckling you tucked your head into the crook of Dean’s neck in embarrassment. “I am safe,” you remind him, “Whenever you’re with me… I know I’m safe.” You know he’s going to try and argue with you so you lean in and kiss his jawline, “I mean it De… Even when the world is falling apart, I know that if I can get to you then I’ll be safe.”
The two of you sat there for a few hours after. Though you didn’t share any words you could feel things between the two of you shift again and you were looking forward to where it was that this would lead to.
-
Masterlist || Supernatural Masterlist
-
A/N: Guys give me some grace here... I haven’t had a chance to really get into Dean lately (life got super hectic) I may come back and re-do this...
Everything Taglist: @stiles-o-dylan24​ @nicole-lynne​  @mummybear​  @emichelle​  @genius2050​  @suhoey​ @fullangelimagines​ @xceafh​ @stilessarcasmqueen​
SPN Taglist: @fandom-princess-forevermore​ @redsalv20​  @michellebarista​
Do not copy and paste my writing anywhere without my consent. This work is the property of lettersofwrittencollective . Associated characters belong to Warner Bros. Television and are being borrowed for this work, all OC’s are the property of lettersofwrittencollective. These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author/publisher.
Posted 27 April 2020
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supernaturaldesires · 4 years ago
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A Descent Into Insanity - Chapter Two
Based on request by @sweetpotato-97
Could ask for a fic of Yandere Dean with a reader who sees him as a best friend and a form of brother for them, of course in the beginning Dean was not a yandere but he changed with the passage of time?
Note: the reader in a way is innocent and does not know that Dean is in love with them.
Pairing: None (yet)
Characters: Dean & Sam
Warnings: none, other than a slightly protective Dean
Word Count: 1,573
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A couple of days after the incident at the bar, the Winchester brothers headed back out on another hunt. You had asked to go with them, but Sam explained that there was another case in Indianapolis that would need investigating once their case was resolved. He told you that there had been at least four cases of seemingly normal people suddenly turning violently on their loved ones, ultimately killing them. Sam asked you to do some more research before they went to investigate, to try and understand what they’d be running into - and promised that you could accompany them on that one.
After spending a day pouring over internet articles you were convinced you were dealing with a siren. The only problem though, was the article didn’t say anything about their weaknesses, only their powers. You did notice, though, that one of the articles you had read was authored by a woman in Lincoln, Nebraska, only a few hours away from the bunker.
You knew the boys wouldn’t be home wouldn’t be home for at least another day, so you decided to pay the woman a visit to see if you could find out anything else from her. You grabbed your phone, a map and a couple of twenties for gas and set off.
When you arrived at the woman’s house, she was a nice enough lady. She invited you in for tea and when you got to talking, it turned out she had crossed paths with John Winchester before. You hadn’t met the man - who was something of a legend in the hunter world - but you’d heard many a story that made you disappointed that you’d never had the opportunity to meet the man, not just because he was Dean and Sam’s father. 
After holding polite conversation with the lady for about an hour, you realised you weren’t going to get any more information than what was in the article, so you said your thank yous and made your excuse to depart. Once you got back into your car, you checked your cell for any messages. Shit. The battery was dead and you’d left your charger back at the bunker. With a sigh, you started the engine and made your way back home.
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When you pulled up to the bunker, you were stiff from the long drive and cranky with hunger. You swung the door open and had barely set foot inside when Dean pounced on you, his hands gripping your upper arms and lifting you off the ground, holding you inches from his face.
“Where the hell have you been?” He roared, fury flaming in his eyes. “I have been calling you for hours!”
You struggled against him, but it was useless. Your legs flailed helplessly in the air. “Jesus, Dean, I was following up with a source about this case in Indianapolis. And since when do I have to share my whereabouts with you at all times?”
Dean lowered you to your feet, but pinned you against the wall. “For all I know, you could be in danger,” he growled. “You left no text, not even a note to say where you’d gone.”
“I wasn’t expecting you guys back yet!” You argued, still not understanding why you had to explain yourself. “Will you relax?”
“Y/N!” Sam’s voice came from behind Dean. “See, Dean, I told you she’d be fine. You were so worked up over nothing. Y/N, you should have seen him when he realised you weren’t here. I swear he lost his freakin’ mind.” Dean’s grip released you then, and within seconds he was in his brother’s face. The grin that was on Sam’s face a moment ago suddenly faded.
“Oh yeah, and what if she had been in trouble, Sammy? What if she got hurt, or worse? I bet you wouldn’t find it so amusing then, would you?”
You were a little relieved to see the same confusion that you felt fall upon Sam’s face, confirming that Dean was acting completely unreasonably. “Dude, will you chill? She’s a grown-ass woman, not to mention one who hunted alone for years before she met us. And saving your ass, may I remind you? Give her some cred, yeah?” Dean stepped back from his brother, but the scowl didn’t leave his face. 
"If you’re both quite finished,” you said sharply. “I think I know what we’re dealing with in Indianapolis. So why don’t you go clean yourselves up, then I’ll talk you through what I’ve found out. We can prepare to leave first thing in the morning.”
Dean glared at you before storming off towards his bedroom. Sam scoffed at his older brother’s behaviour before turning to follow.
“Hey, Sam,” you said softly, reaching out and tugging on his sleeve. He turned back to you. “Thanks about that. I didn’t wanna say anything in front of Dean, I know he feels like we gang up on him sometimes. But I appreciate it.” 
Sam gave you a kind smile and a gentle shrug. “Didn’t say nothin’ that wasn’t true.” His smile faltered for a moment and concern tugged at the corner of his eye.
“What’s wrong, Sammy?” You probed. Dean would always poke fun at Sam for being a worry-wort, but you quickly learned that Sam worried based on his gut - and it rarely misled him.
The tall man dragged a hand through his shaggy hair. “I dunno, just Dean was acting a bit weird on the hunt,” he said slowly. “Honestly, I didn’t expect us to be back this early either. But for some reason Dean wouldn’t even sleep while were away. He was constantly checking the time, saying we needed to get back to the bunker. He wouldn’t explain why. But I guess this was our third back-to-back hunt, so he probably just wanted to get back and rest.” You could tell he wasn’t really convinced, so he certainly wasn’t convincing you, but you let it slide. You both shared a concerned smile before Sam turned on his heels and headed to his bedroom.
You followed him down the hallway then took a different turn and stopped outside Dean’s room. You stared at the door for a good five minutes, wondering if you were about to walk into another ambush. Breathing deeply, you knocked gently. “Hey, Dean? It’s me, can we talk?”
A moment later, the door opened and you realised he must have just come out of the shower. He’d thrown some joggers on, but his hair was still wet and there were beads of water dripping down his bare chest. Your mind suddenly went reeling back to that first night you met, when he and Sam took you to the bar to thank you for saving Dean. You found him incredibly attractive. You had watched how each muscle in face flexed and relaxed as he talked, smiled, laughed. Sure, you flirted with him a little, despite the age gap between you. You were closer to Sam’s age, but something in you just sparked with Dean. At some point that evening, when Sam excused himself to the men’s room, you made your move on Dean - some less-than-subtle suggestion that you had a problem with your brake light and could he come look at it. In hindsight, you realised that it was a stupid move - he and Sam had followed you in the Impala back to your motel earlier that day, so he would have known full well there was no issue with your lights. He gave you a soft smile and let you down gently - that you weren’t really his type. That you deserved to settle down with someone, and he wasn’t prepared to be that someone for anyone.
“Did you want something?” Dean’s voice snapped you back to the present and you realised you’d been staring at him in silence uncomfortably long.
“Um, yeah, just that I’m sorry I didn’t text you guys where I was,” you said, toying with a fraying thread on the sleeve of your jacket. You didn’t really feel like you needed to apologise, but you wanted to clear the air with Dean, especially if you’d be going on a hunt together tomorrow. You both needed to be focused. “I understand you were just worried about me.”
Dean sighed and stepped back from the door, letting you in. He scrubbed a hand over his face, looking uncomfortable - as he always did if anyone even breathed the word ‘emotions’. “I just... when we got back to the bunker and you weren’t here, I just panicked. I didn’t know where you were, who you were with. I got sca-” he stopped himself, clearing his throat and straightening up. “Just don’t do that again, ‘kay?”
You nodded and approached him gingerly for a hug. You knew he wasn’t exactly the touchy-feely type. But to your surprise, he welcomed the gesture and embraced you, giving you a squeeze. If you didn’t know better, you could have sworn he just smelled your hair. You stepped back and shook the feeling off.
“Let me go make dinner,” you said with a smile. “I still need to fill you and Sam in on the Indianapolis case, and I know it’s pointless trying to hold your attention on an empty stomach.” You gave him a friendly wink before leaving his room.
Why did you get the feeling he was watching you walk away?
<= Chapter One
Chapter Three =>
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Dean tags: @akshi8278
Divider credit: @firefly-graphics​
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kaz11283 · 4 years ago
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It took me forever just to sit down and write this.  Not gonna lie I hit a rock straight up, but if yall just bear with me through this part at least we will be back to smooth sailing.  It’s just been such a rough week with everything going on around the world.  Let’s use this as an escape even if it is just for a little bit.  I’m gonna start kinda having a certain day of the week when I release stuff, right now I am thinking maybe Tuesday and Friday?  Still bouncing things off in my head, but that will give me a time frame and give yall a day when to expect something.  Much love, and thank you to everyone that has started following this journey with me and has followed, liked, and reblogged!  I don’t know what I would do without the support and I am loving the feedback and I am over the moon by what recognition I have gotten.  It’s not big but every little thing makes me feel so special and I am so happy that I am getting to share a piece of me with all of yall!!!
~~~~
Best Friends
Chapter 4
You 17, Sam 18, Dean 21
 
“He’s gone y/n,” Bobby said walking into the living room where you had taken up residence on the couch since you had gotten the call from John two days before. “He wouldn’t want you sulking around here like you are.  He would want you to get up off this couch and at least go take a shower.”  He popped the top on the beer he had in his hand and gave it to you.
“Uncle Bobby you know I don’t drink that stuff.”  You said pushing it away.  You wrapped the blanket around you tighter. “It just surprises me, ya know?  Everything that man has fought in his life, every monster, creature, everything and the man dies in a freakin car accident.”
“Fate has a weird scene of humor sometimes.  He was a good hunter, damn good brother, and a pretty ok father.  He did raise a pretty smart girl if you ask me, course I don’t know where you got it from.  Probably your mother’s side of the family along with her looks.”  He said leaning back and pulling you to his chest.  “I would love to tell you that it gets better, that the pain just slowly goes away until it’s not there anymore but it doesn’t.  You just learn to get use to it.  Some days are easier to get through than others, somedays it won’t even cross your mind, but you’re gonna have your bad days and on those days is when you’re gonna need to talk, let someone help.”  He said kissing the top of your head and getting up to stretch. “But really, go take a shower, I think that your funk is starting to seep into the couch.  Might have to burn it and get another one.”
“No!  I like this couch.  Its broken in just right.  Besides a new couch would just throw the whole room off, we would have to paint, get all new furniture, probably throw away a lot of your junk.  It just wouldn’t work out with a new one.” You got up and collected your blankets.  “Thank you Uncle Bobby for being here, helping raise me, teach me, letting me stay here when you didn’t have to.  Your probably the best thing that’s happened to me.” You said leaning up and kissing the old man on the cheek before you walked up the stairs.
~~~
 You woke to voices down stairs in the kitchen and the smell of bacon and coffee, your uncle didn’t normally cook unless-
You bolted up out of bed and hightailed it down stairs to see your favorite family sitting at the table idly chit chatting with Bobby. “Sammy! Dean!”  The two large men stood up and gave you a hug squeezing you between them like a sandwich.  “Oh I missed yall so much!”  You through your arms around both of their necks pulling them down to your level and squishing their cheeks to yours.
“Hey sweetheart, how you holdin’ up?”  John asked bending down to give you a hug.  You had somehow managed to weasel your way into the eldest Winchesters heart when you was young running around with Sam and Dean causing trouble.
“I’m doin good John.  It makes it a little easier knowing that he didn’t hurt, ya know.  It was quick.”  You shrugged taking your seat between the two brothers.
You all sat and ate breakfast talking about the latest hunt that the guys had been on, hearing John talk about hunts with your dad, listening to Bobby rant about having to bandage up the both of them more times than he cared to.  It had started out as a good day.
“So Sammy, any plans after you finally finish school?”  You asked over you cup of coffee.
“Yes and no.  I don’t know what I really want to do yet.  I got my acceptance letter from Stanford the other day but we haven’t really discussed it any further.”  Sam said looking down.
“Sammy here wants to be a lawyer.”  John laughed.  “Of all things.  Been training the boy his whole life to hunt and now he wants to throw it all away for a ‘higher education’.” John rolled his eyes.
“What’s wrong with that?  I got accepted into KCU working on getting my RN.”  You asked raising an eyebrow at the man.  “He doesn’t wanna follow the family business I don’t see where that’s a problem.  Besides, then you would have someone to get both your asses outta trouble if need be.”
“Y/n you always knew you didn’t wanna do this-“
“But Sammy did.  I think he should have a little bit of a say so in his future.”  You said leaning back and crossing your arms in front of you.  “Don’t worry Sammy, I’ll come visit you on weekends.”
“So you got accepted to KCU and didn’t tell me yet?”  Bobby asked trying to change the subject.
“Well a lot of stuff has happened since I got the letter.  Honestly I didn’t think I was gonna get in, I didn’t turn in all my stuff till last minute.”  KCU had only been a pipe dream for you, going into the medical field was kind of an easy choice; you had stitched, bandaged, and pulled out bullets from more than one hunter that had come through Bobby’s door on many occasions.
“So a collage girl now?”  Dean said winking at you.
“Gross no, you’re my brother.” You wrinkled your nose and made a disgusted look at him
“Ew NO!  Not you!  Trust me I’ve already seem more of you than I ever care about seeing-“ That earned a hard glare from both John and Bobby to both of you.
“Shut up Dean.”
“Like the time we had stayed out all night drinkin and went skinny dippin in the lake.”
“Shut up Dean.”
“Or the time that we had the bet that you wouldn’t walk out on the field during homecoming and moon everyone.”  Bobby crossed his arms, you hadn’t told him the reason you had been suspended from school that week
“Dean, I will hit you so hard that your kids will feel it.”
“Or the time-” You punched him hard “OW!”  He grabbed his arm holding it while Sam busted out laughing.
“There are certain things that you don’t say Dean.” You stared at him with wide eyes.  “Like the time that you begged me to come get you from whats her names house at like three in the morning so that you wouldn’t get caught sneaking back into the hotel that we were staying at, or the time that we had to get Sam to cover for us because we snuck out to go to that party, or ho-”
“OK! Grounded, both of you.  Till further notice.”  Bobby pointed at you and Dean.
“I’m 21 Bobby!”  Dean yelled looking at his dad for help, John simply shrugged his shoulders.
“Your joking me?  Uncle Bobby, you’ve never grounded me before!”
“Well y/n there’s a first time for everything.  Seems like I just didn’t’ know that you need to be grounded all the time.”  Bobby said shaking his head.
“Well thanks for taking the pressure off me guys.”  Sam said draping his arm around the back of your chair laughing.
“Sam, watch it, I’m sure you had your help in something too with these two bad influences around.” John warned.
~~~
The next week was spent going over information about the hunt the boys were about to do, gun training, and hanging out with the boys. With them getting older they werent able to come around as much as they use to so when you were together you made the most of your time. Sam had decided to hang back and go over some more books of Bobby's while you and Dean went for burgers.
"When are you gonna start huntin with us y/n?" Dean asked looking over his burger.
"Dean, we've went over this. I'm better behind a book looking up lore, or with a needle and thread in my hand. I dont do field work. I dont like having to chop heads or burn bodies."
"Your good with any weapon put in your hand, your freakin awesome at fighting. I'm just sayin I ever have to go off on my own your the first one I would call." He shrugged.
"Well I guess I'm lucky that you'll have Sammy then right?" You said whipping off your hands. "But you ever need any research done I'm your girl."
"Sammy's going to collage. Hes getting out." Dean said looking down. "I act all butt hurt and upset that hes leaving but I'm not, not really. I'm actually really proud. Proud of him and you. You both did something that I never imagined could happen."
"But I'm going to collage to learn how to help people when they get attacked Dean, I wouldnt say that was 'getting out'."
"But when this is over and you decide you dont wanna do this anymore you'll have a fall back. Sammy is going to be a lawyer, what can I do? I'm good at killing things."
"You can be a professional hunter," he snorted "ummm, oh, or a gun salesman, or a secret agent." You laughter with him on that one. "Hunters lives is a whole lie anyways I think you could pull it off. Wear a suit, woo a girl." You raised your eyebrows at him.
"Whatever. Let's go home, I heard theres a Hatchetman marathon tonight. Think we could get Sam to join us like old times?"
"I'll grab the snacks." You said throwing your arm around his middle.
~~~~~
Tag List
@samsgirl93
@spn-obession
@iitslibassi
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almaasi · 6 years ago
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reaction post typed while watching SPN 14x05 “Nightmare Logic”
oh, what a perfectly soft and emotional Destiel-parallelly piece of Meredith Glynn artwork. so precious, so loved~
03:47pm
things i know about this: meredith glynn wrote it
LET’S WATCH
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03:50
noooo maggie don’t do things like this alooooone
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i like the music as she enters... kinda weird and sparkly and awkward
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03:53
sammy...... you know what you need
someone to do the night shift
if only...... you had.............. someone else........................
*looks pointedly at dean*
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03:55
where does sam get the financial resources for shit like body cams
we never see them running credit card scams any more so........ ???????
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03:57
i love these cable things by the roads
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so aesthetic
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03:58
even more spooky pretty music as dean and sam enter the tomb
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03:59
dean and sam lie so effortlessly and so in sync
i always enjoy seeing them do this, ever since dean told a firefighter he needed to go back into his apartment because he has a yorkie who pees when he’s nervous
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04:01
aw man i thought the “colleagues” would be cas and jack
bobby and mary’s cool too
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04:02
bobby’s wearing a cap like michael’s
and mary’s wearing a coat like cas’
..does this mean this story’s gonna be about dean’s war between those two things, like the two worlds he knows
bobby’s parenting vs. mary’s parenting
michael’s need for him as a vessel vs. cas’ love for him as a bestest buddy bro friend
not sure how bobby = micheal / mary = cas but i’m sure there’ll be some kind of explanation later
OR maybe they’re just costumes and they mean nothing
but......is that ever true? trenchcoats are automatically a cas thing now. and that cap is so iconic as michael now???
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04:09
i relate to this lady in the suit who has had Too Much Of Everything
i enjoy seeing people know their limits and expressing them to others rather than continuing past breaking point
sam’s doing great but also....... no
take a page from this lady’s book, sammy
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04:11
mary’s walking with sam
and i just wanna take a minute to appreciate how EASY meredith glynn’s episodes are to watch
her scripts flow so gently and everything makes logical sense
and her characters are coherent
there’s just this nice touch of emotional human realism cloaking all the supernatural weirdness and i so, so appreciate that
like.. for me personally, there’s not a single writer on the current team whose writing comes close to glynn’s
i want her to write more episodes with cas though, i know she’d write him just right
i honestly feel like i’m being hugged by someone as i watch this
so soft around my heart
is good
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04:16
sam: “you [and bobby have] gotten pretty close lately”
mary: “i thought so too”
OH WAIT I GET IT
I GET THE COAT AND THE HAT NOW
IT’S A DESTIEL THING
OH MY FUCKING GOD HOW DID I MISS THAT
IT’S SO BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS HOLY FUCKING FUCKDISAFKDSHGF
even the casual viewers will probably have noticed this one. i know it took me a second but as soon as this discussion happened it clicked
 this is probably the most obvious parallel they’ve ever done i think
i didn’t see it before because i didn’t EXPECT it, you know?? ugh this is so validating
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04:22
now every word mary says, i’m just envisioning how it applies to cas’ perspective too
“he’s been hunting all the time, he won’t take a break even for a second. there’s something on his mind”
yeah, that mICHEAL HAT, quite literally sitting over his head like a dark halo
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04:26
the music in this episode is just so pleasing to my ears
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04:31
things i appreciate:
normal people being all “wtf you hunt monsters” and just being present while dean and sam talk about their shit
sam’s reference to “hunteri heroici” (my all-time fave episode besides “scoobynatural” jdgd that was five years ago what the hell)
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04:35
me: takes screenshot of this very pretty, very anxious lady because i want my hair to do what her hair does
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04:36
oop we just found the dean mirror and now we get to hear someone talk about the things he feels and offer advice that ultimately helps himself
god i love this
AND THE FACT I CAN UNDERSTAND THIS PARALLEL AND WHY IT’S HAPPENING
AGAIN SOLIDIFIES THE DEAN/CAS THING WITH BOBBY/MARY
because what mary said about bobby = what cas thinks about dean = what’s true about dean = this lady being overworked = dean not taking time off from hunting
(although it does seem to specifically apply to sam as well ?)
and sam mentioned earlier about how the dad he knew and the dad mary knew were different people, plus the earlier mentions this season about john’s problematic parenting (i forget when)
yeah that really makes a point of saying john abused his kids, for sure
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lady: “he was gone all the time, working for us, he said”
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
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lady: “i worshipped him when i was a kid. didn’t know any better”
oh deanie
please take notes
please know it’s okay to be angry at john and not continue to love him in a way that excuses his behaviours, even 14 years after he died
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wait wait wait
dean tells her to let it go, it’s the past, there’s nothing you can do about it now so it’s just baggage
WAIT
THAT MEANS
THAT MEANS HE LET THAT SHIT GO ALREADY???????
WHOA
OKAY COOL. COOL COOL COOL I’M PROUD OF YOU
now go be gay with cas
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“i try. every single day.”
hell yeah dean winchester giving good mental health advice to people and also millions of depressed people with various traumas watching this
ngl this legit just helped me a tiny bit with my issues with my own dad
urhgutguugb meredith glynn you are the good we need in this world
..............suddenly getting real emotional because goddamn i wanna meet her someday ;~; i wanna meet 1. misha and 2. meredith glynn, maaaaybe 3. jensen idk
mEREDITH GLYNN IS MY KINDRED SPIRIT
and DEAN WINCHESTER HELPS ME BE A MORE SELF-ACCEPTING PERSON
yay
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04:49
no but like.......... everyone seemed to enjoy last week’s episode, i only saw people posting good reviews. and i felt bad not not enjoying it, even though all the things people pointed out should’ve been right up my alley, something about the overall thing just fell flat for me
but this one
this one speaks to my heart
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04:53
maggie: “i didn’t mean to get caught--”
sam: “no no no, stop that. you did nothing wrong. okay?”
sam being a better dad to maggie than john ever was to anyone
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04:57
OH NO BOBBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!
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05:01
dean: “you’re giving him transfusions?”
nurse: “keeps up his iron”
suddenly i don’t trust the nurse
trying to take over the property maybe? a la scooby-doo, it’s always about real estate
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05:02
dean: “sasha, could you go....... make me a ....sandwich ?”
DEAN NO
(i type, in pain, as i laugh)
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/rewatches that interaction because it was actually really sweet the way dean mouthed “go” to sasha and she understood
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05:05
i’ve wanted a djinn story for SO LONG
(even wrote one myself - Prince of the Ether Realms)
trust glynn to be the one to re-weave the exact threads of this 14-year saga that also interest me specifically
also kudos for the fact she’s so obviously knowledgeable about the ENTIRE HISTORY of the show, as opposed to certain other writers who seem to contradict previous facts and re-reference things that were used differently before to make an important point, thereby nullifying the first point when used a second time
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05:11
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hunter with the shaved head 10/10 style
headcanoning them as non-binary and into girls because of reasons
also there was a slight continuity error, this hunter hugs maggie twice in the two consecutive shots
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05:15
bobby: “it ends the same” [with bobby dead, i guess?]
mary: “no. you are not allowed to give up on me”
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seeing this as dean and cas again
yeah i saw someone mention how at the end of last episode, dean suggesting they drive off a cliff and sam being like NOPE kind of reflected the wrongness of the they-all-die-at-the-end for the finale of SPN
and i think this brings it back to that again
i agree that the best ending is the one where they live to fight another day, not go out guns a-blazing
and this is cas telling dean he’s not allowed to give up and die because he wants to live side-by-side for as long as they can
i just really really want cas to say that to dean in a soft emotional scene like this. we don’t really get those unless they’re parallels??? and i wANT MORE DEAN AND CAS TALKING ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS DAMMIT
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05:20
DEAN AND CAS PARALLELS um i mean BOBBY AND MARY GOING OFF TO HANG OUT ALONE IN A CABIN OF LOVE AND HEALING
GDI LET DEAN AND CAS DO THAT TOO
but also awwww i actually kinda like the mary/bobby thing? because at the core, they ARE dean and sam’s parents, really
family don’t end with blood etc
bobby was the dad john never was
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05:23
sam: USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM
this is so satisfying
next up: hula hoops of salt and iron knuckle-dusters
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05:25
i love love love that dean can have a healthy mental approach to this shit, finally
i’m so fucking proud of him you don’t even know
i just......... i really wanna see him not only return to baseline mental goodness, but then overcome that and become greater at his zen thing, and then AT LAST be ready to accept cas’ love for what it is: romantic and everlasting and epic, and not have to interpret it into something else or ignore it to protect himself
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05:28
that light over dean’s shoulder is the angel on his shoulder
but is it michael or cas?
i’m going with cas, given that michael is a dark-hat-halo
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05:30pm
it’s over
that was amaziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing ;u;
bless meredith glynn for existing and bringing us such beautiful stories
BUT WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE GARDENER
WHY WAS HE THERE besides to ~add some colour~??? and i guess a red herring for viewers, so we have someone to suspect?
(idk. i never suspected him, because he was black and meredith glynn is better than that - unless she was trying to trick racist viewers?? (i know there's a lot of them, i saw the super-toxic comment section on instagram when jared, jensen and misha posted a “vote beto” thing the other day. and there was a poll mentioned at comic con once, half the american spn fanbase are republicans??? guess they really love guns and fascism))
i don’t really have anything to add here, i said it all as i went along
that dean/cas parallel....... oh boy
just please please please pleASE can we have Actual Destiel and not just parallels and hints. like. they barely talk???????? HOW IS THIS A SHOW WHERE TWO OF THE MAIN LEADS ARE CONSTANTLY FRAMED TO BE IN LOVE, WE’RE TOLD THEY’RE BEST FRIENDS, BUT WE ALMOST NEVER EVEN SEE THEM TOGETHER ANY MORE
HOW IS THIS HAPPENING
anyway the costuming was just so very UNSUBTLE and obvious and i think a lot of people would’ve caught that parallel even if they weren’t looking for it
music was good, directing was good, sasha’s hair was good, nobody we know actually died, that was good too
10/10
ten thumbs up
yeee
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normaltothemax · 3 months ago
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@therebetterbepie from here
There was no point in pretending he wasn’t actually in pain—he’d already made that pretty dang obvious. And besides, Dean was like a dog with a bone when it came to stuff like this. He’d sniff out Sam’s injuries in a second, even if he had hidden them perfectly. Despite how much he felt like he deserved to feel this pain, he also knew Dean wouldn’t let him get away with it. A dog with a bone and a mother hen. Like it or not, Sam’s injuries were going to get treated, and frankly, he didn’t actually enjoy hurting, so he caved pretty quickly. “Ribs and my right shoulder.” He wasn’t sure if he’d just wrenched it or if it was dislocated or what, but it really hurt.
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With Dean’s back to him, Sam quickly swiped at his eyes with his good hand, just to make sure no tears managed to sneak out. His brother was hitting the nail right on the head, sounded like he knew exactly what it felt like, even though Sam couldn’t imagine Dean screwing up like this. He was way too good for that. He was a great hunter. Seemed like he always had been.
He nodded when Dean came back, eyes dropping to his lap. “Okay. Thanks, Dean.” Sam really, really hoped he was right. There was another problem, though. One that made Sam fidget where he sat. “Dad’s really mad at me,” he said quietly. That was why he wasn’t there, after all. Well, that, and he was busy cleaning up the mess Sam had made. Dealing with his screw up.
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stanford-sam · 6 years ago
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Things that Shine
~ 1700 words
for my darling Ash ( @theboykingsam ); you make my life shine. i wrote two but decided to be kind to you on this special day and chose the happier one;)
They’re stumbling back into their motel room, exhausted and hurting after a hunt-almost-gone-wrong, fumbling for a light switch and for the first aid kit in Sam’s bag.  Dean’s got a cut on his arm that needs stitching—not life threatening yet, but it’s got a steady flow of blood from it a half hour on.
They’re stumbling back into their motel room, exhausted and hurting after a hunt-almost-gone-wrong, fumbling for a light switch and for the first aid kit in Sam’s bag.  Dean’s got a cut on his arm that needs stitching—not life threatening yet, but it’s got a steady flow of blood from it a half hour on.
Sam’s good; he’s got a few scrapes and burns and bruises, but that’s to be expected when you torch a Wendigo in its home territory. Nothing that screams for immediate attention.
He’s got a nasty cut somewhere on his scalp that stings like a bitch. He’ll get Dean to look at it after Sam’s done with his arm.
Dean swears as he takes off his shirt, keeping his injured arm as still as possible. Sam gets the sewing kit from the first aid box, lights a match for sterilization before threading it. He sits cross legged on the bed next to Dean and instructs his brother not to move.
Sam can feel hot blood trickling down his neck, soaking his hair and drip drip dripping down onto the bed. He suppresses a shiver and forces certain memories from his mind. Focuses on the task in front of him. Ignores the sidelong glance Dean gives him.
He takes a deep breath and cuts the thread, trying not to wince at the sound the blades of the scissors make rubbing together.
Dean flexes his muscle, grimaces, and stands. “What about you?” he asks.
“Scalp. Here.” Sam gestures vaguely to the side of his head. “Bit of a mess, sorry.”
“Jesus, Sammy… ‘Bit of a mess?’ Really?”
Sam shrugs. “Yours was worse. Objectively, it was. Mine looks worse than it is.”
“Fine, but you’ve ruined your shirt, and—oh, shit—the bed too? Sam…” Dean sighs and gently tugs at Sam’s hair, sending a small shiver down Sam’s spine. “I really think you should consider giving yourself a trim. It’s gotten long, even for your standards. At least let me do it.”
“No.” He hasn’t cut it since he got out of the pit. He won’t start now.
“Sam, I watched you on this hunt. It gets in the way. Hell, it was the reason you got this cut. It had you by your hair—”
“You made it in time.”
“It was a goddamn inch from slicing your throat wide open! If I hadn’t lit it up when I did—”
“But you did! That’s the point, you did!”
“No! That’s not the point! That’s not good enough! Come on, just to your shoulders?”
“I’m not cutting it, Dean!” shouts Sam.
“Why not?” Dean demands.
“I…” Sam trails off, looks around the room for help. Finding none, he squares his shoulders and faces Dean. “I don’t want blades anywhere near my head—my face—again. Not if I can help it.”
“I…what…?” Sam can see the moment the realization hits his brother. Dean straightens and says, “Alright, Sammy. No haircuts. I’ll drop it.”
And he does.
Dean cleans and stitches Sam’s head without another word. Sam throws out the bloody shirt and washes the bedspread to the best of his ability.
They carefully avoid each other on the long road back to Lebanon, Kansas.
It’s a few weeks later. Sam’s sitting on the floor in their library, absentmindedly flitting through book after book. He recognizes Dean’s footfalls from the hallway and glances up to see Dean drag a chair over to Sam’s corner.
“What’s up?” Sam asks.
“I wanna try something. Sit?”
Sam heaves himself up and sits upright in the chair. “What’re you doing?”
“Just trust me. How’s your cut?”
“Fine. It healed well, thanks to some good stitching.”
“Mmm. Mine too.” Sam turns and cranes his neck to get a view of Dean’s upper arm; he’d taken the stitches out a few days ago, and it looks good.
“Where is it?” asks Dean, and in response to Sam’s confused glance, adds: “Your cut?”
“Oh. Here.” Sam traces it with his pointer finger.
“Can I…?” Sam nods, and shivers when Dean’s hands run along his scalp, firm, yet somehow unmistakably gentle. Almost tender. “Here?”
“Yeah.” Sam tries not to wince when Dean’s fingers brush the scab. “Dean, what’re you—”
“I’ve been thinking about your hair and—hear me out, Sam,” Dean says when Sam takes a breath to interrupt. “I’ve been thinking, and I was on a beer run a few days ago and I picked up some of these.” He holds up a sleeve of elastic hair ties.
Sam raises his eyebrows.
“Yeah, uh…” Dean clears his throat. “I’ve been teaching myself… well, can I try something?”
Sam glances up at him suspiciously.
Dean hold up his hand. “No blades, I promise.”
Sam nods. “Okay.”
“Face forward, close your eyes.” Sam obeys, nerves tingling. He feels Dean’s fingers card through his hair, then something else against his scalp—a hairbrush.
Sam almost tells him to be careful of his wound but bites his tongue when he realizes that that’s what Dean’s doing—brushing carefully around the cut, working gently through the tangles of Sam’s hair.
Sam brushes his hair every morning, except those rare few days when he ignores it and it turns into a nest of tangles and clumps. On this particular morning, Sam had tied his hair into a knot—a literal knot—and gone jogging. He untied it when he got back and hadn’t thought of it again.
But he’s never spent more than a minute brushing his hair. Thirty seconds at most. He just sort of rips through it and he’s done.
But Dean… Dean spends ten minutes working his way through Sam’s tangles. Carefully unraveling the mess of Sam’s hair, never pulling too hard, just gentle tugging and an occasional “Sorry, Sam.”
And Sam revels in the feeling of it. He closes his eyes, leans back into it. He can’t remember the last time he let anyone besides himself come close to his hair—he supposes, years and years ago, it would have been Dean cutting it, grooming it. Dad would have never. But for as long as he can remember, it’s been Sam cutting and caring for his own hair, even in college. He’d forgotten how good it felt for his scalp to be gently touched by another human being.
After an eternity that definitely wasn’t long enough, Dean sets the brush on a nearby bookshelf.
“Thank you,” Sam whispers. He touches his cheeks and it surprised to find that they’re wet.
He hopes Dean didn’t notice.
“Not done yet,” Dean answers. “I haven’t even got to the hard part.”
“What?”
“Shh. Relax.” Dean’s quiet and still for a few minutes. Sam wants to check if he’s still there or not, but he doesn’t.
Dean tentatively picks up a few pieces of Sam’s hair. Sam feels gentle tugging, slowly making its way down his scalp. Occasionally the tugging will pause briefly, while Dean murmurs words to himself that Sam can’t make out, but Sam thinks he knows what’s going on and suddenly it’s all he can do to hold back tears.
The tugging stops, and Dean is quiet for a couple minutes. Sam swallows and asks, “Well?”
“Well, it’s not as good as I wanted, but not bad for a first time,” comes Dean’s reply.
“Can I see?”
“Yeah, give me a sec.” There’s some faint rustling from behind him, and then a distinct click! that tells Sam that Dean just took a photo.
“Here.” Dean hands his phone to Sam. Sam inspects the picture, smile creeping up onto his face like the dawn of a new day. It’s just a braid. Why does Sam feel like this?
Sam stands, freshly braided hair swinging over his right shoulder. Dean stands in front of him, eyes shining with pride and something else, something Sam can’t quite identify. Without saying anything, Sam wraps him in a hug. He hopes Dean understands. The way Dean holds him back makes Sam think he does.
Over the next few weeks, Sam lets Dean practice on him while researching, eating, reading, doing anything that’s not active. Dean becomes proficient at the French braid, the Dutch braid, and even experiments with a fishtail (although it didn’t turn out to Dean’s satisfaction. Sam thought it looked fine).
They take it for a spin for the first time with a werewolf hunt, and it works like a charm. Sam can see for the duration of the hunt and Dean doesn’t yell at him.
The weeks stretch into months. Before hunts, Sam sits in a chair, or on the bed, or, when the situation gets desperate, kneels, and Dean braids his hair. He can do it in a matter of seconds now. He’s tried to teach Sam on a number of occasions, but Sam’s fingers, so nimble when handling ancient books or laptop keys or guns, turn fumbling and slow. Dean doesn’t seem to mind.
Months become years. Sam finally plucks up the courage to chop off his hair late one night in Austin, Texas. It has reached down to the base of his spine, and it’s becoming too much for him to handle. He gives Dean careful instructions before getting blackout drunk and wakes with his hair cut to his shoulders. It’s a tremendous weight off his shoulders, literally and figuratively.
It’s around that same time when Sam notices something: he’s tired. He talks to Dean—they’ve learned how to talk, how to really talk—and together, they decide that it’s time for the Winchesters to take a break, a long one.
They sell some shit from the Bunker and buy a small cottage on Lake Michigan. They leave the doors to the Bunker unlocked, should any hunter in need of a respite stumble across it. They give their address and new numbers to a select few friends: Jody, Garth, Eileen. They drop off the grid.
They’re not quite happy, but watching the water shine off the waves of their lake, they are content. And as far as Sam and Dean are aware, that’s as close to happiness as they’re going to get.  
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bennixalice · 7 years ago
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Why I struggle with Jack Kline
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I have started re-watching season 13 to catch my mum up. She is liking Jack, giving him the benefit of the doubt, but still with reservations. She even called Dean a jerk during the early episodes, which got my back up a bit. I have always been on Dean’s side with this, Dean was hurting, they had a family, Mary was back, we could see they finally recognised Cass to be their brother as well as Mary saying that Cass was ‘one of her boys’
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Dean doesn’t know how to handle grief, we already know this. He gets angry and closed off and turns to alcohol.
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Sam also has his ways by finding a project or going on a hunt, something to take his mind away from what he is feeling. Which is what Jack is, plus the parallel that was drawn between the two of them to be ‘bad’.
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This scene still kills me, it makes me what to climb into my TV and give him to biggest and longest hug I can.
When re-watching I still felt for Dean as he said to Sam, that he was sorry for being a dick and needed Sam to keep the faith for them both as he was lost. Dean does apologise for things he does and says to his family, that’s what makes him such a great character, we know he is flawed, we know he makes mistakes, we as Dean fans may not like everything that he does, but we always stick by him and he will always apologise when he knows he was wrong, or when he hurts someone.
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I can understand Sam as well, this isn’t about bashing him at all, I have had my ups and downs with Sammy, but his character is going well at the moment and I felt so much for him with Eileen. I loved them together. (even though they kinda weren’t)
So what really got me was how much Jack is just automatically accepted by Sam and then how much he is accepted by Dean as soon as Castiel is back. Yes that is a win for Dean and I can see how that would change him into believing that good things can happen to them. But I HATE TFW 2.0
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To me, if they wanted a TFW 2.0 it should have been Dean, Sam, Cass and Mary. I would even have gone with Dean, Sam, Cass and Crowley. It just felt try hard to me. Like Dean had got some much hate, so we have to turn it around and make him accept Jack like he is family. 
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But this scene is what really got me! They have known him for how long? Now he is family... How long did it take for Cass, Charlie, Bobby, Kevin, Ellen and Jo  to become part of the Winchester family! All of a sudden this kid is their family after a couple of months? Please! Jack may fell that, and I’m okay with that and I can also understand it with Cass as well (even though I still believe that Jack brainwashed him last season no matter what others say, he promised him paradise. There is no such thing and even Castiel said that himself), but not Dean and Sam.
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Mary being so okay with Jack not being a 6 month old baby annoyed me at first to, I would have thought she would have had a stronger reaction, or been a bit fearful, but nothing. However when talking to my mum about it, she said that Mary has probably seen so much in her life that nothing would really faze her anymore.
I’m liking the back end of this season better as there is less of Jack in it. Re-watching it though I haven’t felt like that dislike for him as I did when the episodes first aired. I will say that I still hate Claire more than Jack. But I just don’t feel anything for this character, I don’t care what happens to him, I don’t care if he gets hurt, I don’t care if he is happy, I don’t care that he lost his mother. I just don’t feel anything towards him. We will have to see where this rest of the season takes us with his character.
As for the AU characters, I don’t see Charlie or Bobby coming back across, unless Michael gets through into this world (which is my theory) but I would love to have them back as well as Kevin, I can actually see him coming back through more then the other two though. My point on this is that I wouldn’t be surprised if something happens like Jack will sacrifice himself for them, or Mary, or something will happen with Michael getting through. But we will have to wait and see.
Please don’t hate on this thread, I just had to get out what I was feeling, I’m happy to talk to anyone and read their opinions as that is what a fanbase is for. Plus I do miss the good old days of forums, I think it makes the communication easier. If there is any hate towards, Dean, Sam or Cass I won’t respond.
If you read all of this, thank you!
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cinnamonanddean · 7 years ago
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Wincestmas Day 2: All that sexual tension (Part 1/3)
Hi! Glad you liked yesterday! So - this fic was in response to your likes for late-season Wincest and pining boys, but also because I had a look at your A03 and saw your fic where older Sam and Dean meet their younger counterparts. So hopefully you’ll like this. Unfortunately, though, it got out of control long (its finished up just under 4k) so I am going to send it in three parts over the next three days (assuming you like it). Here’s part 1!
There’s a bang and the motel door flies open. Dean’s on his feet immediately, scrambling for his gun even as he assesses the threat.
Sam tumbles into the room, literally ass-over-tea-kettle, long legs flying over his head as he rolls to a stop at Dean’s feet. Dean’s hand shivers as he trains the gun on the open doorway, waiting to see what’s wrong; but nothing follows Sam into the room. There’s just the quiet echoing of an empty motel parking lot and the whuffing breaths coming from his little brother.
When Dean finally looks down, his rapidly pounding heart freezes. Sam looks up at him out of eyes big in a rounded face, hidden under shaggy bangs that Dean hasn’t seen in over fifteen years. His skinny chest is heaving, long twig legs sprawling out from his body in clothes that are swimming on his slender frame. Sam had only gone out to get their morning coffee, and he’s come back like this.
“What the fuck, Sammy?” Dean demands.
 ***
“Rowena,” is Sam’s terse answer when he gets his breath back, in a voice far higher than Dean’s accustomed to.
“Rowena is the witch we’ve been following?”
“Yeah. And she saw me from across the road, I guess, and well…” Sam tails off, gesturing down at himself.
“Well.” Dean echoes. He can’t quite process what’s happened.
Sam unfolds himself, standing up to his full height. Which, Dean notices with a swoop of his stomach, is a little less than Dean himself.
“How old are you meant to be, anyway?”
Sam frowns, nose wrinkling, and shoves his bangs out of his eyes. He comes to stand in front of Dean, close enough that his warm, sweet breath brushes against Dean’s cheek. He’s just smaller, just enough that he has to tip his eyes up to look at Dean.  “Um… about 18, I guess?”
“How’d you know?”
“I got taller than you just after-” he pauses, ducking his head.
Just after I left for Stanford, Dean fills in mentally. They still don’t talk about it. Dean can still remember the shock, that night in Sam’s Stanford apartment, when Sam had stood up and towered over him for the first time.
“Ok.” He takes a deep, deep breath, trying to right his thoughts. “We got two choices: try and go after Rowena, or try and fix this ourselves.”
“She’ll be long gone,” Sam suggests. “Now that she knows we’re onto her.”
Dean hums, sorting through everything they know about Rowena. “I’m not so sure,” he says slowly, thinking aloud. “I think she’ll wanna stick around and laugh at us.”
The flash of annoyance across Sam’s face is at once so familiar and utterly disconcerting. Now, that look tends to be directed at Rowena, at Crowley, at their current case; back when Sam had this body, it had been directed at everything as teenage Sam had vented his frustrations. Their Dad and the life they led had been a frequent recipient of Sam’s disgust, but Dean hadn’t avoided it either, and it’s an unpleasant reminder of their teenage arguments.
“Yeah, you’re right. Guess we better try find her.”
***
That’s harder than Dean could have imagined. Not just because Rowena is tricky and cunning -  if she wants to stay hidden, she’ll find a way - but because Sam doesn’t look like an FBI agent anymore. Or like any of their other typical disguises. He doesn’t even look like a credible intern. They have to beat a hasty retreat from the police station when the local sheriff starts asking too many questions, and the bouncer won’t even let Sam into bar where Rowena had last been seen.
“Just go back to the motel, Sammy,” Dean says, gritting his teeth. Today has been harder on him than he’s willing to admit; Sam’s outward appearance a constant reminder of feelings he’d ruthlessly squashed down when Sam had run away.
“No, I’m going to help,” Sam insists, jaw set. His skinny wrists poke out from under the cuffs of his shirt, but his trousers are pooled around his ankles where his legs aren’t quite as long as they should be. The shirt billows around his chest - he’d pulled the suit jacket off as soon as he could, unable to function properly with the longer sleeves - and every time he moves, Dean catches a glimpse of smooth, hairless chest. “I’ve spent more time with her than you, I know how she thinks.”
“There’s nothing you can do,” Dean insists, trying to make his argument sound believable even to himself, when all he actually wants is to remove the temptation that is Sam from his sight for a little while. “I can investigate easier by myself. Then I’ll come back and tell you everything, and you can use your great wisdom and knowledge to predict what she’ll do next.”
Sam scowls at the sarcasm in his voice. “Fine.” He spins on his heel and stomps off, the dramatic exit only barely ruined by his little stumble as he narrowly avoids a lamppost. Sam at eighteen had been all new angles, long legs and clumsiness, and that’s clearly true of Sam at thirty-four in his old body.  
Dean breathes freely for the first time since Sam had re-appeared in their motel room that morning. Taking a moment, he leans back against the wall outside the bar, closing his eyes.
Images of Sam flash through his brain - images of Sam today overlaid with images of Sam when he really was eighteen, when he’d taken to wearing little shorts and loose t-shirts that hung off his shoulders. When he’d taken to stealing Dean’s old t-shirts, squeezing new muscle into old material; and when he’d often spent long hours in the shower, high noises spilling out that Dean had tried so hard not to hear.
There’s a million reasons they still don’t talk about Stanford; and one of them is the reason Dean had let Sam go. His sanity had been hanging by a thread when Sam had revealed his plan; he’d barely been able to think at times for how much he’d wanted his little brother and how guilty he’d felt. He’d often head out to bars, ready to drink himself into forgetfulness; but come home without touching a drop, suddenly terrified that he’d lose his inhibitions with his sobriety.
Sam had wanted - expected - Dean to come with him to Stanford. That had been painfully apparent in the triumphant way he’d revealed his plans to their father, vicious satisfaction evident in his voice as he’d expected to announce his victory in their years-long push-pull fight over Dean’s affection, Dean’s loyalty. But Dean had steeled himself and turned Sam down; insisting that hunting was his life, that there were people to save. Sam had turned doe eyes swimming with tears on him, but Dean had stood firm. Their father’s joy at winning had led to the savage fight that saw Sam banished from the family for so many years.
Since then, Dean has managed to restrain his feelings, pushing them to a place where he barely remembered they existed. Winchesters were masters of denial, after all. But now, everything is bubbling to the surface again.
Scrubbing his hand across his eyes, he pushes himself away from the wall and heads into the bar. Time to get back to work, to find Rowena and find a cure - and then he can go back to forgetting he’d ever had inappropriate, dirty thoughts about his little brother.
***
Dean makes his way back to the motel a couple of hours later, tiredness singing through his body. It’s mental tiredness more than anything - weariness from trying to suppress his feelings all day - and all he wants is a burger, a beer and a quiet night.
Takeaway bag in hand, he nudges the door open with his hip, hoping that Sam isn’t going to kick up a fuss about the unhealthy food. His worries go to shit when the bag crashes to the floor, spilling fries everywhere; the cola pooling across the already-stained floor.
Sam’s stretched out on the bed, face down. He’s completely naked, muscles fluttering as he rolls his hips back to meet the three fingers stretching his ass wide, and his face is buried in the t-shirt Dean was wearing yesterday.
  So yeah, that’s part 1… part 2 coming tomorrow. 
I’ll also be starting work on fics for later in Wincestmas today - so if there’s anything you’d like to add to your likes/wishes, now is a really good time!
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narisjournal-blog · 7 years ago
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Through the Pain
Dean x Reader (platonic)
Angst
Word Count: 5,231
A/N: This is my late entry for @greenappleeyes 1k follower challenge. My prompts were ‘Believer’ by Imagine Dragons and ‘Whatever has broken your heart, know that I am here to listen.’
Thank you to Nicole for being so patient with this, and for letting my husband join in and write his own fic too. (His is actually better) You can read this here.
I don’t think this is my best work, and there’s so much more I could explore with Dean and with this song, but it has been really interesting to write. I’ve not really written with prompts before. Please give me some feedback, I want to know what you lot think.
***
The trees blurred in front of you as you ran. You were in so much pain, blood gushing from the wounds you held tight with your hand, but you ran on instinct.
You wouldn’t end up like your brother. You had come too far and been through too much. You could hear the blood pulsing in your ears and the edges of your vision were going dark.
You kept your legs moving, not daring to look back and see if you were still being pursued.
You emerged from the trees to a dirt path, gasping for breath.
A man with a dog turned and gasped at the sight of you.
You staggered to him and gripped his clothes as you slid to your knees.
With your last breath of consciousness you choked out the words, ‘Call him.’
Then the world turned black.
***
The motel room was quiet. Dean sat with his feet up, ankles crossed on the table as he cleaned his gun. He focussed on his steady fingers working the cloth into the grooves of the cool metal. He tried not to think about Lisa and Ben. It was easier said than done. He couldn’t stop wondering if he should have let Cas remove them from his memory too. The thought made his stomach lurch.
He felt his phone buzz against his thigh before his ringtone began to sound, cutting through the heavy silence.
He pulled it out of his pocket and checked the caller ID. Unrecognised.
‘Hello?’ He answered cautiously.
‘Is that Dean?’ The voice on the other end said.
Dean narrowed his eyes.
‘Depends who’s asking.’
'It’s just… I’m… look, there’s a girl. She’s been attacked, she’s covered in blood and she collapsed right in front of me. Your name and number are scrawled across her hand. I figured you’d wanna know.’
Dean hesitated.
'My name and number? Wait a minute, this girl. Who is she?’
'I dunno. Dark hair, maybe in her twenties?’
Dean racked his brains. Didn’t sound like Clair.
'She’s in the ambulance now. They’re taking her to hospital. Look, man. I dunno what’s going on, but I just thought you should know. I’ve called you. I’m done.’
'Wait wait wait,’ dean garbled. 'Which hospital? What attacked her?’
There was a click and three beeps.
Dean ran his hand through his hair.
Why would some random girl have his name and number on her hand?
His phone buzzed and he opened a text message. It contained the name of a hospital about an hour’s drive away.
He shoved it back in his pocket and replaced the loaded chamber of his gun.
'Sammy!’ He called. 'Think I might have a case. You comin’?’
***
The blackness swirled around your mind. It was peaceful and empty. Still, you couldn’t fight the nagging feeling buried somewhere deep beneath the fog. This wasn’t over and you had to fight.
Somewhere far-off, in the distance that existed outside your consciousness, a steady beep pulsed and threaded through your coalescing thoughts.
The scene unfolded in your dreaming mind, clouded by a haze of regret. Was this where it had all gone wrong?
You had spotted him almost instantly across the crowded bar. Head in his hand, slouched over a grimy table on his own and nursing a glass of amber liquid you assumed was whiskey. Empty glasses littered the table.
You sat down heavily across from him.
'Something on your mind?’ You asked.
He took a sharp intake of breath and his shoulders tensed.
'Why don’t you mind your-’
He stopped when he looked up at you. His eyes travelled over you and he frowned.
'You are definitely not old enough to be hanging out in a shit hole like this.’ His speech was a little slurred, but not as much as you would expect considering all the glasses.
'Well, clearly no-one cares enough to throw me out,’ you retorted, looking around at the few scattered drunks and bored-looking bartender.
Dean sighed heavily and turned his attention back to his drink.
'Anyway, I’m not here for the liquor. I’m here for you.’
You fixed your eyes on him, trying to get a read on him.
You had been told he was the best man for the job. You had been told about the Great Dean Winchester who had clawed his way back from the dead and would jump at the chance for a case.
As you eyed him, you wondered if this was the right Dean Winchester.
'Look, sweetheart. Firstly, you can’t be more than, what, seventeen? And secondly, I’m- ’
'Oh for fucks sake, I’m not hitting on you. Why is that always the first thought?’ You rolled your eyes.
He looked back up at you and narrowed his eyes.
'Just cut the crap. I don’t want whatever you’re selling. Just fuck off.’
He drained the rest of his glass and stood up, heading back towards the bar.
This was bullshit. Hero stories were always full of crap. If you hadn’t been so desperate, you would’ve left him to drown his sorrows and moved on.
But you were desperate.
You gave it a few minutes, watching him from where you were. He ordered another drink and checked his phone.
… 'my brother died.’ You said simply, sitting down next to him again.
'Yeah? So did mine. That s'posed to make us besties? I told you, back off alright?’
You blinked at him.
Nobody had told you Dean Winchester was an asshole.
'Look,’ he said, softening ever so slightly. 'I’m sorry for your loss, but I can’t help you.’
His callous disregard got you fired up. 'You don’t know what I want yet,’ you said through gritted teeth.
'Not interested,’ he added, turning away from you and draining his glass.
Your fist clenched against the bar.
'He was killed by some kind of monster. They told me it was a bear but I saw it. He was all I had left. I’ve been looking for you for months.’
The words hung in the air and you thought maybe now he would at least show some humanity.
Dean sighed heavily.
'You wasted your time, princess. If I buy you a drink will you go away?’
You only stared.
'You are Dean Winchester, right? Notorious supernatural hunter?’
'Dunno what you’re talking about, sweetheart. I’m a mechanic. And you’re clearly crazy.’
He caught the bartender’s attention and held his glass up, indicating two fingers.
'Why are you being like this? I was told you would jump at a case.’
'You were told wrong. I’m a family man and I look out for me and mine. That’s it. So unless you got a car you need fixin’, leave me the hell alone.’
The bartender placed two shots of whiskey down between them with a clink.
Dean pulled one towards him and pushed the other across the bar to you.
'Drink and then go. We’re done here.’
You exhaled roughly. 'You know, for a family man you sure are an asshole,’ you said. 'I’m sorry I wasted my fucking time.’ You pushed the whiskey back towards him and walked away.
***
Dean stood at the door of the hospital room leaning against the door jamb.
His throat had tightened up and he found himself frozen.
'Do you recognise her?’ Sam asked behind him.
Dean couldn’t answer. If he did he was afraid Sam would hear the crack in his voice.
Seeing you lying there with wires sticking out of you had caught him off guard.
You hadn’t changed much, except you looked older. Thinner, maybe.
He remembered the first time he had met you.
Fuck, he had been an asshole. Broken, lost in his life and tired of the monotony of how things had panned out; but still an asshole. There was no excuse to have treated you that way.
The beep of the heart rate monitor gave a steady pulse, cutting through the silence.
He had thought about you later that night, when he couldn’t sleep.
To his shame, he thought firstly about the pull of a case.
He loved Lisa, he really did. And he loved Ben like he was his own. He had always dreamed of this apple pie life.
But it had never been an acceptable pay-off for losing Sam.
He had sworn off doing cases, keeping the danger away.
But what put him off most about taking the case was you.
His heart had sunk when he looked up and saw this young girl looking back at him. He knew from the way you approached it would be about a case. You said yourself you weren’t interested in the liquor.
He had thought about himself at that age, already elbows-deep in the blood of the supernatural, raised in tragedy and nurtured by pain with no other future in line for him.
If he knew anything about you in that moment, he knew you could have a better life than he had. There was still a degree of innocence in your eyes; The kind of innocence he saw in Ben’s eyes. The world needed more innocence.
He told himself that’s why he had been so dismissive and played dumb. He told himself he had wanted to put you off the whole hunting thing and deal with your brother’s death in a healthy, normal way.
Not that he knew anything at all about that.
So at first he had thought it was his conscience playing tricks on him when he looked out of the window and saw you stood in his front yard in the dark.
He met your eyes and realised you were not a mirage.
He rolled his eyes and dragged himself up. He glanced up the stairs and listened for any signs of stirring, but there was only quiet.
If you were coming to his house now, he had to deal with this.
He closed the front door carefully, then stormed towards you.
'Not ok. Not at all. I told you, back the hell off.’
'You’re a hunter,’ you said, standing firm. Your arms were folded across your chest. 'You’re lying to yourself.’
'Don’t-’ he started, but you cut in.
'Do you really think that hiding behind this family man bullshit is gonna keep the monsters at bay? Does the supernatural world stop because you decided it should?’
He now stood about a foot away from you, trying to intimidate you into leaving.
'Don’t you dare tell me what you think I should be. You don’t know me. You’re trespassing. Get off my yard.’
'Why won’t you help me? Is there not even a shred of compassion left in that stone cold heart? I thought you might understand because you lost your brother too.’
'Do not talk about my brother.’
'Please,’ you said, not hiding the desperation in your voice. 'I know I can’t bring him back. All I’m asking for is your help. Anything.’
You unfolded your arms and took hold of his arm. He towered over you.
He regarded you for a moment, then rubbed his hand over his face. He stepped back and half turned, glancing back at the house warily.
He turned back to you.
'Look, kid. You’re young. You have your whole life ahead of you. Choose a better life than I had and stay away from all this crap. Like you said, it won’t bring him back.’
'You’re full of shit, Dean,’ you spat at him. He shook you off his arm.
'You’re making this really fucking difficult,’ he answered through gritted teeth. 'How the hell did you find me, anyway?’
You shrugged. ‘And yeah I’m making it difficult because I want you to snap the fuck out of this fairytale idea that nothing bad happens anymore. People need you, Dean. I need you.’
'Kid, I don’t even know you. But you can be more than this. Your brother died and it sucks. But you have a choice to live out your life. When I was your age… I never had a choice.’
'And yet here you are, with a wife and kid regardless.’
'Ok, she’s not my wife. And he’s not my kid. And so long as my brother is burning in Hell, I’ll never be out. Not really.’
As if realising what he had just said, he glanced back at the house again.
He lowered his voice. 'I love her, and I love him like he was my own, but we’re just making the best out of this. But you? You could have it all. You have a choice.’
'Even so, I still choose to hunt down this bastard. And it’s my choice to make. This is my brother! He is the fucking world to me, how can you not understand that?’
You were shouting again.
'Keep your damn voice down,’ Dean snapped at you. 'This is a nice neighbourhood and people are sleeping.’
'Well while people are sleeping peacefully, monsters roam the night. And here you are, telling me to let it go. You’re full of shit,’ you repeated.
'Maybe I am,’ he said. 'But it ain’t got shit to do with you. For the last time, I am not gonna help you. You need to leave.’
When you didn’t move, he wrapped his large hand around your wrist and yanked you. You stumbled and moved with him, your legs scrambling to carry you as he dragged you away from his house.
'Dean,’ you pleaded.
He let you go and pointed out into the street.
'Go. Before I go get my gun.’
You cradled your wrist where he had grabbed you and looked up at him with disbelief.
'You really have snapped, haven’t you. Your brother’s death really messed you up didn’t it?’
'Go!’ He shouted.
'You’re broken.’
'If I ever see you again you’ll be fucking sorry.’
He had turned and stormed back to the house. And you had left.
And he had never seen you again.
Until now.
***
He sat down gingerly by the bed. He regarded you for a long moment.
'Dean?’ Sam said behind him.
'Yeah. Yeah I recognise her,’ Dean answered finally, defeat shaking his voice.
He ran his hand over his face, perhaps a subconscious effort to replace the mask that had shifted temporarily.
Sam saw straight through it.
His voice softened. 'Who is she Dean?’
He inhaled deeply, watching your chest rise and fall.
'She’s someone I should have helped a long time ago. But I didn’t. And now…’ he indicated the hospital bed and your current predicament.
Sam nodded. But he didn’t dwell.
'So do we know what we’re dealing with?’
Dean inhaled, gathering himself to focus.
‘Werewolf.’ His voice was gruff and short. ‘Pretty sure. Which makes this whole thing worse.’
Sam cocked his head in question.
‘A fucking werewolf, Sammy. I coulda given her silver bullets. That’s all she needed. Silver fucking bullets.’
Sam ran his hand through his hair. ‘Ok. Well, we’re here now. What do we know about this werewolf? Is there a pack? I didn’t have time to research thoroughly, but all I found was a report of one body showing up. Animal attack they say, but when is an animal attack ever an animal attack?’
Dean huffed a humourless laugh.
‘Did she say anything back when… when you knew her? Do we know who this thing is?’
Dean shook his head. 'Not unless she wakes up.’
Sam huffed out a sigh. He closed the door and came to the other side of the bed.
‘She got away, so she knew something about what she was dealing with,’ he said.
Dean folded back the cover carefully, examining the dressing on your wound. He noticed several other claw marks on your arms.
‘This isn’t her home town. She tracked it here.’
‘Ok. So this is likely not a newborn then?’ Sam mused.
‘Exactly. And he’s being careful, which means he’s self-aware. But not above killing folk.’
‘Which means-’
‘Which means silver bullets,’ Dean cut in. ‘Let the bullets fly.’
He narrowed his eyes, focussing on the one thing he knew how to do; killing a monster.
Sam cleared his throat. ‘Dean, I mean… do you wanna sit this one out? I’m sure I could-’
‘What are you nuts? I wanna gank this thing. Fuck, I owe her that much.’
‘Ok, but I mean… you’re dealing with a lot right now. It would be perfectly fine if you-’
‘No, Sam. Fuck, do you even know me at all? My whole life, my drive – it came from pain. Pain is what keeps me focussed and it’s what keeps me fighting, so let those fucking silver bullets rain.’
Before Sam could respond, his phone began to ring. He checked it.
‘Sherriff,’ he said simply and left the room as he answered the call.
Dean felt his demeanour crumble now that Sam wasn’t there. He sank into the seat by your bed, resting his elbows on his knees and holding his head in his hands.
The steady beep of the heart monitor was slow compared to the pounding in his own chest.
He made himself look up at you again, regarding your peaceful face as though he was staring down his own mistakes.
Your life could have been better, he realised, if he had just helped you. Killed the damn werewolf and then you could have moved on. Instead you had tracked this werewolf unequipped for God knows how many years, probably from town to town. Perhaps this was the first time you had confronted it, he thought.
And you had been so desperate, you turned back to him – the pathetic, angry drunk who had dragged you off his yard all those years ago.
And where had it got him? He was left here yet again in the only life h knew, the pain of what he had sacrificed making him believe in some greater purpose he could never quite pin down. But it was where he belonged. He should have known that.
The heart monitor started screaming and you gasped, making Dean jump up and move closer to your side.
You blinked, looking around the room to try and make sense of where you were. When the first face you saw was his, you filled with relief. His green eyes watched you intently.
‘Hey, hey it’s ok. I’m here. You’re ok,’ he said. He took your hand as you reached out for him.
Your eyes took in the freckles across his nose and the dark shadows under his eyes. If it was possible, he looked even more broken than before. And yet somehow more focussed.
You never thought you would see that face again, except when it plagued your dreams; the man who had left you alone to fend for yourself in a world you had no idea how to navigate.
You were mad at him. His abandonment and dismissal had shaped much of how determined you were. That and the loss of your brother were your drive.
But right now, his face was the only one you wanted to see. If he was as good as the stories said, this Werewolf should be nothing for him to kill. The end was finally in sight. There was light at the end of a long, traumatic tunnel.
‘Dean,’ you choked out. ‘You came.’
‘Yeah. It took me long enough.’ He still held your hand in his. His grip was soft and much gentler than your last encounter with him.
You sighed and smiled, the relief flooding you once again.
‘We’re gonna get this son of a bitch, ok?’ he said, his voice low and gravelly.
The door pushed open and you both looked up.
‘So I think I might have an idea where…’ Sam started as he walked in, then stopped when he saw you were awake. ‘She’s awake. You’re awake. Hi, I’m Sam,’ he added.
You felt a knot tighten in your stomach and you weren’t sure what emotion it conveyed. You looked to Dean.
‘Sam?’
‘Yeah. He’s uh… he’s back, I guess. Long, weird story.’
You couldn’t talk right away while you processed how that was even possible. So Sam was back from the dead? And Dean was sat here now, after all these years, ready to help because his family was complete again?
You clenched your jaw. Jealousy. That was what you were feeling. You tried to shake it off. This was a good thing. You should be happy for him.
‘You must be very happy,’ you said, trying not to let your voice shake.
Dean let go of your hand and scoffed. ‘Happy? With his whining and farting? Sick of him already.’
‘Thanks, Dean,’ Sam said bitterly.
But you noticed the glimmer of sadness that remained in Dean’s eyes even as he joked.
‘I think I may know where this werewolf is hiding out,’ Sam said, sweeping the conversation on.
Your eyes lingered on Dean a little longer. He looked at the floor.
Maybe he was someone who was destined to be unhappy. He had his brother back. The person he loved most in the world had died and left him heartbroken, now he was here as you lived and breathed. What else could… and then it struck you.
The wife and kid.
You realised nobody was talking and both brothers were looking at you.
You cleared your throat. ‘What? Sorry. I’m still kind of waking up.’
Sam ran his hand through his hair. ‘Sorry. How are you feeling?’
‘Confused. Exhausted. How did you… but you died?’
‘Oh right. That.’ Sam looked to Dean. Dean shrugged. ‘Friends in high places, I guess,’ Sam said, looking at the floor so his hair fell over his face. There was a little shame in those eyes, you thought.
‘You gonna explain?’
Sam hesitated, but Dean jumped in.
‘Look, we’re buddies with an angel. Yeah it’s weird. Welcome to huntin’, sweetheart.’
He ran his hand through his hair attempting to act nonchalant, but you couldn’t ignore the weird look the brothers exchanged. Because they knew what you were thinking.
‘What else can you tell us about this werewolf?’ Sam said, before you could dwell any further on his return from the dead.
You sighed. You were wasting time already, so you pushed the rest aside for now.
As you filled them in on the last few years of experience, they seemed to absorb it all as though it was commonplace. The way they discussed the details and formed a plan in less than twenty minutes showed you just how good they were as a team; how close they were and in tune with each other, even if they did bicker over some of the finer details.
And you slowly began to understand the level of pain that Dean had to have been in when you had first met him.
But even now, there seemed to be trouble in paradise.
‘Dean, are you sure? What we talked about before – I can do this if you wanna stay here with her. You’ve been through-’
‘Dammit Sam!’ Dean snapped. The anger that erupted had clearly been building over some time. ‘I told you, I’m gonna kill this fucker. Stop tryna over complicate this.’
Sam threw his arms up. ‘I’m just tryna help,’ he said and stormed out.
‘I’m not sitting this out,’ you said. ‘I’ve worked too hard-’
‘What did you say?’ Dean cut in. ‘You think you’re gonna come along on a hunt with your guts sliced open?’ He shook his head. ‘You’re staying right here. Let us handle this.’
‘Dean, I-’
‘No. I let you down once before. I’m not gonna let you throw your life away again. It ain’t happenin’. This is my fault. I’ll take care of it.’
He was doing it again. He was trying to tell you what was best for you even after having left you out in the cold with nothing but your pain to believe in. For so many years he had been absent. He had been the echo of the hope you once had at freedom.
He had been the almost-father-figure who failed you.
‘You’re damn right, it’s your fault! Why the fuck wouldn’t you just help me? I was alone. I had NOTHING. I had no-one. But you had your perfect little family and I was such an inconvenience.’
‘Don’t talk about them,’ he snapped. ‘Don’t fucking talk about them, not now.’
You looked at him mouth agape.
‘Are we really doing this again? Don’t you ever fucking learn? There is more to the world than just you and your family.’
Green eyes shot daggers through you. ‘That’s rich coming from you.’ He paused, shaking his head. ‘I’m done. You’re staying here, end of discussion.’
He began to walk to the door.
‘Dean. You can’t just walk away every time a situation gets tough. You can’t just up and leave and never deal with it.’
He turned back to you. ‘And what the fuck do you know? Sometimes walking away is the best thing for everybody! Sometimes the only way to keep people safe is to walk away!’ he shouted.
Silence hung in the air between you. You realised you had hit a nerve. This had got out of hand.
You tried to soften your voice. ‘Dean, something happened, I can tell.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘Whatever has broken your heart, know that I’m here to listen.’
He scoffed. ‘Broken my… broken my heart?’ he said incredulously, his voice raising. ‘We’re hunters. We don’t get time for a broken heart. Yeah sure, I’m broken. Maybe I always have been. I was broken from a young age. Bad stuff happens. You lose people. But the bad stuff keeps comin’, so you gotta keep fighting. That’s all I know.’
‘Except when you have a wife and kid,’ you said and instantly regretted it. He slammed his fist into the wall behind him. You thought he might yell at you again but instead he just looked at you, emerald eyes so full of pain it hurt you to look at. His lip trembled ever so slightly.
After a long moment, he ran his hand over his face and sat down. ‘They’re gone.’
‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.’
He shook his head. ‘I mean they’re alive. Just better off thinking they never met me.’
‘You left?’
He shook his head again. ‘They were kidnapped by demons. We got them out, but I realised they would never be safe while they were with me. Their memories were wiped. You don’t get out of this life. You don’t get to throw in the towel and settle down. You were right and I should have… I should have fucking listened.’
You shuffled closer to him, wincing at the pain in your gut but pushing through it. You rested your hand on his shoulder.
You tried to think of something comforting to say, but couldn’t.
‘You should have,’ you said instead.
He looked up at you, disbelief in his eyes. But then he smiled and shook his head.
‘Dammit,’ he said softly. He ran his hand through his hair.
‘Look,’ he said after a long silence. ‘I can’t bring your brother back. I can’t bring back all those years I could have saved you from. What I can do is kill this motherfucker. Will you let me do that for you?’
You sighed. ‘What about the angel?’
‘What?’
‘You say you can’t bring him back. What about the angel? He brought Sam back, right?’
‘Yeah, but it was messy. Really fucking messy and Sam might never recover from what he went through, not really.’
‘Ok, but my brother didn’t die dragging Lucifer back to Hell.’
Dean shook his head. ‘It’s been years. Maybe it’s time to accept it and move on.’
‘Oh fuck off. Did you move on? How did that fucking go? Oh yeah, that’s right. You got your brother back from the dead. So don’t fucking lecture me about moving on,’ you snapped.
Dean had no answer for you.
Right on cue, Sam re-entered the room with a coffee in his hand.
‘Dean, we need to go. The window is closing and soon it will be too late to get him. This guy likes to move towns, like she said.’ He nodded to you.
Dean looked from Sam back to you and held your eyes in his for a long moment.
He blinked, then stood up.
‘Ok Sammy, but just one last thing before we go.’
He glanced back to you, the look in his eyes saying this was a bad idea.
‘Castiel,’ he said. Your heart pounded. Was he really calling the angel? ‘Cas, I need a favour.’
He looked around the room expectantly, avoiding Sam’s confused gaze.
‘Dammit, Cas! Get your feathery ass down here. You sure as hell owe me one, and a big one-’
There was a flap of wings and a whoosh of air and a dark-haired man in a trenchcoat appeared the other side of your bed.
He fixed his blue eyes on Dean.
‘What’s this about Dean?’ He looked around, noticing you were in a hospital. ‘Does someone need healing?’ His eyes settled on you.
Without prompting, he moved to the side of your bed. Wordlessly, he touched two fingers to your forehead and you instantly felt a surge of power tingle through your body. The wound in your gut burned and then disappeared altogether.
You stared up at him. His face was set and he looked to Dean.
‘Is that all? I’m actually busy, Dean.’
Dean nodded once.
‘Thanks, Cas.’
The angel disappeared as quickly as he had arrived.
Panic began to pound in your chest.
‘No, come back!’ You turned to Dean, grabbing hold of his arm. ‘Bring him back!’ you shouted.
Dean tightened his fingers around your wrist, squeezing reassurance.
‘That was never gonna happen, and you knew that. You’ve always known that. You need to be ok with it.’
‘No!’ you shouted, but your voice got trapped in your throat as the realisation flooded through you. ‘No,’ you choked out again as your body convulsed with sobs.
Dean pulled you against his chest and held you more tightly than was comfortable, but it felt safe as you let yourself fall apart in his arms.
‘He’s better off up there than down here, trust me,’ he said softly.
He held you for a long time in silence.
Eventually, he let go and pulled back.
Dean placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder and leaned in to whisper something in his ear. Sam nodded understanding.
Dean looked to you.
‘You need to get ready sweetheart. We’ll give you some time. Get your clothes on.’
‘What?’ You puzzled.
‘You’re all healed up now.’
He paused, looking around the room. His eyes settled on your jeans on the side. He shrugged off his checked overshirt and handed it to you.
‘Here, you can wear this. I guess your t-shirt had a big bloody rip in it.’
‘But you said…’ you started, tears filling your eyes.
‘You need closure. I get it. So you’re gonna come with us, and you’re gonna shoot this bastard in the face. And then you’re gonna move on with your life and be happy.’ He fixed his eyes on yours. ‘You’re the face of the future.’
You looked down at the shirt in your hands, then back up at the two brothers.
‘Come on,’ Dean continued. ‘We’re going hunting.’
***
Tags:
@quixoticcat @afanofmanystuffs @trashforwinchesters @yourewelcomeforbeingmyfriend @ironiccasifer
@greenappleeyes
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fanforfanatic · 8 years ago
Text
Movies that End in a Kiss
Relationship: Dean x Reader Rating: Teens and up. Warnings: None. A/N: There is an author’s note at the end because I don’t want to spoil anything.
~3.5k words
Summary: You tell Dean you’re in love with him exactly three times.
Read it on ao3
You tell Dean Winchester you love him three times.
Well no, you’ve said it more often than that growing up with him and Sam, taken in by John at a young enough age that the Winchesters are the only family you’ve ever really known. The only one you can remember, anyway. That’s what I love you has meant so far. It meant you’re my family, I’d die for you too and I’m here.
That’s the brothers’ way of saying it, to you, to each other. Never ones for ‘chick flick moments’ or at least that’s what Dean had decided. Jerk. Bitch. Loser.
That’s not the kind of ‘I love you’ being addressed here. You tell Dean you’re in love with him exactly three times.
The first, in true (honorary)Winchester fashion, happens while you’re dying. Of course, it takes a demon taking a bite out of your jugular to man up and fess up. You’re at the end of your rope, out of time. If you’re ever going to tell Dean, it’s now.
You open your mouth but he shushes you.
“Don’t talk,” he says.
I love you, you think as hard as you can, your eyes going wide as though that will help convey the message. Like you could communicate it telepathically or he could read the words in your irises.
Dean misunderstands. He presses the blue, now blood-black, bandana more firmly onto your fatal wound. “Don’t be scared. Sam’s breaking the angel warding right now and Cas is going to get his feathery ass in here and he’s going to heal you up and then we’ll go get burgers and that’ll be that.”
“Dean,” you rasp.
“Okay fine, we’ll go to a twenty-four-hour breakfast place.”
You chortle out a broken sound and wince immediately but the pain blurs along with everything else. You’ve lost a lot of blood, you know because you’re laying in it.
Dean taps your face and it isn’t gentle. “Hey, hey, stay with me, Loser. Don’t be a wimp, I bet it doesn’t even hurt.”
You chuckle again and say, “Only when I laugh.”
“Well then we’re screwed. I’m a very funny guy.” Dean lets out his own small laugh and grins down at you.
You think it doesn’t hurt at all when he’s the one laughing. That sound could erase all your pains and aches. It has many times before. Has made very bad situations, very dark times, just a little better, just a little easier. His smile isn’t half bad either.
The sunlight spills into the space from the open barn doors behind you, hitting Dean’s face in a way that’s making him hard to see, a little hard to look at. He’s lit up like a greek hero might be. Teary eyes shiny and twinkling in the light, hair more blond than brown as the rays filter through it, his skin goddamn glimmers like bronzed gold. Or maybe that’s just your vision that’s starting to go. Spots dance somewhere between your face and Dean’s so this must be it.
“I love you, Dean,” you say because you think it’s the last thing you’ll ever speak and there are no words more important.
You vaguely hear Dean laugh a broken sound, you think you hear him say Cas’ name, something touches you (other than Dean that has his arms around you), everything tingles and everything goes dark.
When you come to, you are one hundred percent healed. Your throat is intact. The scratch from two hunts ago that had scabbed over is replaced by smooth skin. The tiny pimple you’ve felt brewing under your skin near your hairline is gone.
You’re in the backseat of the Impala, naturally (where else would you be?), and you sit up just as Dean steps back inside.
“You’re up,” he says, leaning over the backrest of his seat and flicking on the car’s dome light to get a good look at you. “How are you?”
“I’m good.”
His eyes look you over and scan your face for a long moment as though your word wasn’t enough. Then, he’s reaching for you, cupping the back of your head- no sliding down, holding your neck and pulling you closer. It’s a fraction of a second, the stretch of time between when you’re sitting up in your seat and when you’re leaning forward right up in Dean’s face, but it’s agonizingly slow. You think Dean is going to kiss you. You think, this is it.
Dean just looks at you some more, eyes shifting between each of yours. “Cas said you should be fine but I think we should check for a concussion.”
You don’t say a goddamn word but eventually, satisfied, Dean lets go of you and twists so he’s leaning against the door, still able to look at you.
“Sam will do his thing when he gets back. I promised you breakfast food didn’t I?” He grins, wrist poised on the steering wheel and hand hanging behind it, long fingers disappearing just beyond the scope of the overhead light.
You look out the window, away from Dean, assessing your surroundings for the first time to see that you’re parked at a gas station that has a shoddy sign in the window below a neon glow. You frown. “Dubious breakfast burritos from the Gas ‘n Sip is not what I had in mind,” you say already mourning the waffle you apparently will not be indulging in.
Dean ignores you in favour of patting the backrest fondly. “I’ve got my baby all gassed up and my best girl-” He winks at you, because why not fuck you up more? “-still amongst the living and a brother fetching me my road food. What more can I ask for?”
You roll your eyes at him and hope that your blush isn’t as visible as you think it is. “I’m telling Sam you said he’s fetching things for you.”
“Tell him,” he dares you.
You slump back in your seat, crossing your arms. “You think I won’t?”
“You never do,” he smirks. He drops his voice to a whisper like the information he’s about to share is confidential: “I know you like me the most.”
“Dean,” you start nervously, arms uncrossing. “Is this you teasing me about what I said because you’re a shit?”
Dean frowns. “Sounds like me but what are you talking about?”
It’s you who frowns now. “What I told you just before I almost croaked.”
Dean is quiet for a moment, solemn. “You really gave me a scare, you know.”
“Oh come on,” you try to joke. “You know how it is. We die, we come back.”
Dean doesn’t say anything.
“Look, about what I said towards the end there. Or the non-end as it happens. I want you to know that I meant it differently than usual.” You try to sound as nonchalant as you can. “I meant that.”
Dean scrunches up his face and it’s as adorable as every time you’ve seen him do it. Then he laughs and your heart drops as you think he’s laughing at you. “You were barely forming words towards the end there, babe. Just gargling nonsense. ‘mkinda impressed you had your ducks in order enough to remember now.”
“You didn’t hear what I said?”
“No but you can tell me now.”
You inhale sharply. Can you tell him now? Without the promise of being swallowed into oblivion? Without the option of escaping the aftermath? There are a lot of things you’ve accomplished thinking you wouldn’t be able to. Often times it was with Dean by your side. Probably because Dean was by your side. He’s here now too. Dean is always here. And you’re in love with him.
“I-”
Sam opens his door, cutting you off, and your nose fills with the aroma of meat and cheese. Your hands with the burrito Sam offers. Your ears with the bickering of the brothers up front. Then, you watch Dean drive off the lot. The words die on your tongue.
 You’ve read enough novels and watched enough tv to know that when someone pines over their friend chances are the pining is secretly mutual. This is the reasoning you hold on to the second time you try to build up the courage to tell Dean. It’s been months since your last near death experience so the urgency is gone which means you have to create your own momentum.
Opportunities are hard to come by.
“Sam sit still,” you bark at him.
“You take so long. Can’t Dean do it?”
You’re a little harsher than strictly necessary the next time you go in with the needle. “Dean’s too hopped up on post-hunt adrenaline right now.”
“Also,” Dean adds, pacing a few feet away. “I don’t want to.”
Dean laughs as he sees Sam roll his eyes and as he sees you do the same over Sam’s shoulder. He bounces on the balls of his feet, you weren't wrong about him bursting with energy. You three plan to hit the local bar as soon as you’re done stitching up Sam’s shoulder injury.
“Seriously, hurry up,” Dean echoes Sam’s sentiment, then peers at your work and scoffs. “That doesn’t even need to be sewn up.”
“That’s what I said,” Sam agrees.
You concentrate on what you’re doing but spare Dean a glance. “It would scar.”
Sam mumbles, “Like it wouldn’t with you doing the-”
“You’re such an ungrateful shit, Sam,” you say shaking your head and trying to actually be upset. “I’ve gotten better!”
Growing up you’d been… less than skilled with the floss the lot of you used to patch each other up. All three of you had unnecessary marks on your bodies from a job not so well done on your end. That was while you were growing up, though. You’ve gotten better! Sam and Dean still won’t let you live it down.
“Sure you have, sweetheart.”
“Shut up, Dean. You’re done, Sam.” You snip the thread and shove him lightly off the bed. “Get out of my face.”
He laughs a deep bellied laugh. “I’m gonna get cleaned up and then we can go,” he says heading towards the bathroom.
“Make it a whore’s bath Sammy, the patience tank is running low,” Dean calls back and plants himself on the other bed.
You shuffle to the edge of the one you’re on, you’d been kneeling behind Sam, and dump the bloody wipes into the garbage can you’d brought closer. You’re facing Dean now, your knees almost touching his in the space between the two beds.
He takes another swig from the flask he’d been slowly draining since his shower then offers it to you. You’re surprised there’s even any left. When hunts go like they went tonight, when they’re a little too easy and require much less than you were all willing to give, you all- especially Dean- end up with a restlessness that begs to be spent. So you drink and go out and party and generally have a good time.
Maybe that buzzing inside of you is what spurs you on, what makes you decide this is a good a time as any to get this thing off your chest.
“Are you going to take it?” Dean interrupts your thoughts.
“When have I ever turned down a drink?” You grab the flask from Dean’s hand and hate yourself for noticing how your fingers touch his.
“To the heartbreak of many schmucks in many dives, often.”
“Heartbreak, huh?” you say wincing as the liquor burns its way down your throat.
“What else would you call letting someone like you get away?” He winks and takes another drink (you hate yourself for noticing again how your fingers touch).
“Dean, I love you,” you say.
Dean chokes on the booze, some spluttering out onto his hand that he lifts to his face. He laughs, wiping his palm against his chin and then against his jeans. “Is that what you and Sam were whispering about earlier? You two really want to start another prank war?” He laughs again and stands just as Sam comes out of the bathroom.
“What’s so funny?” he asks.
“Yeah,” Dean laughs some more. “Like you don’t know.”
Dean leaves the motel room, leading the way to the Impala, laughing all the while. You watch him leave and, yeah, heartbreak’s the word for it.
You’d been wrong before, that day with the demons holed up in some barn. It hurts when Dean laughs too.
 Very few things matter to you more than the Winchesters.
Yourself, sometimes, because you aren’t that selfless nor do you think you should be.
Milkshakes from that shack on the West coast. You’ve told Sam and Dean if it’s between you and a Vanilla Bean Chocolate Delight I’m picking the dairy enough times that they stopped hearing you.
That’s it. That’s the list of things.
So when you realised you were in love with Dean it had startled you, but only for a moment. After that initial shock it all kind of made sense. If you’re going to be falling in love at all of course it’d be with one of them. Giving it more thought made you understand that it had to be Dean, and upon even more reflexion (you’re analytical, who you gonna sue?) you understand that it will always be Dean.
You’re settled into the bunker for a bit of R&R. You’d gotten shot on the last hunt. Just a flesh wound with a clean exit, a lucky break you weren't accustomed to. Sam bandaged you up and you’d been good to go but somehow there was a silent agreement that you three would hang back for a few days. You’d been working a string of cases and had earned some down time. Besides, there was no big bad looming threat which naturally meant one was just around the corner. The smart move would be to rest up for it as much as you can afford to.
Not to mention that the bunker is still a new enough discovery that you guys like to be there just for the sake of being there. You like that there is a there to be, now.
Dean comes into the library, a cellphone pressed to his ear but angled away from his mouth. “The burger joint got shut down,” he says, then with a shiver adds, “Health code violations.”
You snicker at his obvious discomfort.
“Sam’s asking what you’re in the mood for instead.”
You shrug and Dean rolls his eyes. Into the phone he says, “Yeah, she’s as indecisive as ever.”
“Fuck you guys. I’m just not picky.”
Dean ignores you and takes the seat beside you. “Yeah, that sounds good. Don’t forget the- He hung up on me.”
“I’d hang up on you right now if I could,” you tell him with no bite and a grin.
“Shut up, you love me.”
Your breath catches somewhere in your windpipe. Yeah, I do. You beg yourself to say it. This is what you’ve been amping up for but you’re too slow, too paralysed.
Dean says, “What are you reading?”
“A journal of one of the men of letters circa nineteen thirties and let me tell you these tough guys do dance.”
“They’re librarians. I’d hardly call them tough- Wait, seriously? Wife swapping?”
You nod.
“Well, damn.”
You laugh. “It’s much more interesting than all the lore in here.”
“So much lore, right? I don’t know how anyone- Sam- could have the desire to go through it all. Hey wait a minute. You’re reading sex-journals and you judged me when I found the vintage porn magazines.”
“It’s not a sex journal! And I did not judge you.”
“Mhmm.”
“We really should be getting some work done,” you reason. “Sooner we make a dent in their archives the sooner Sam will let us rummage around with what they have in storage.”
“Toys!” Dean grins childishly. He really wants to check out all the magical items the Men of Letters have hidden away on the lower floors.
You laugh again because you love it when Dean is like this, playful and, if you squint, almost untainted by the hardships of his life. “I love you, Dean.” It’s the third time you say it and the words escape you effortlessly.
Dean stops wiggling his brows excitedly at you. “I know that,” he says. “You’re fami-”
“No, Dean.” You shake your head and he frowns in confusion. “I’m in love with you.”
The silence in the room echoes in your chest. You feel bare and like you’re teetering on the edge of something but it’s something great. It has to be. You’re a pair of heroes and after putting down the bad guy the movie ends in a kiss. He gets the girl, she get the guy, the camera pans out on them being sickeningly sweet. You think you can stomach sickeningly sweet if it’s with Dean.
“I...don’t…” Dean trails off. “Understand. I don’t understand, what are you saying?” Dean sits up straighter, his eyes wide.
Your eyes are wider as you remember- somehow you’d forgotten?- that your life isn’t a movie. You untuck your feet from under you and place them on the ground that you swear sways beneath them. Your hands shakily put the journal on the table and the wound in your arm screams to be noticed. The pain is salvation, pulling your focus away from the horror that’s unfolding. It’s also short lived as the sting doesn’t hold your attention once Dean beckons it.
“What are you talking about?” He asks, eyes still wide, still too green and too earnest for you not to feel like a complete and utter loser.
You don’t say anything.
“Where is this coming from? Since when? Why? What?”
You still can’t bring yourself to respond, too busy being hyperaware of how this conversation is going to end. Then again, you’d been surprised initially too. What’s to say that Dean doesn’t just need a minute? You know he cares about you. The rest isn’t that big of a leap.
“Answer me,” Dean says.
“Come on, Dean. You want to try and tell me that this doesn’t make sense?” You give him your widest smile. “You and me… I don’t think I’ve been away from you for more than a week since we met. I don’t ever want to be away from you for more than a week. I want us-”
“Stop. You’re my family and there’s nothing, not a thing, I wouldn’t do for you but this… This isn’t how I feel about you.” Dean has a pained expression on his face.
“Oh.”
“I’m sorry, I-”
“No!” You interrupt him, face burning. “No, don’t um don’t apologise.” You jump to your feet, your chair scraping the floor horribly. “You’re- This- You’re probably right,” you start, back peddling out of the room, bumping into chairs (one clatters to the ground) and into one of the book shelves. “This is really dumb. I don’t- I shouldn’t have said any of that because of how dumb it is.”
You swivel to leave and walk right into the wall by the archway that leads out of the room, face first. You instinctively bring a hand up and find blood. You hear Dean stand.
“Don’t, Dean. Just. I’m fine. Don’t.”
You hear him still and that’s a miracle in and of itself. You hightail it to your bedroom, bumping into the door jam on your way out of the library.
You suppose you should have seen this coming. Despite the bullet hole in your arm, you know there is no such thing as a clean exit.
 It takes a while for things to be less awkward and a while longer for you to get over it, but a year down the line it’s like the most mortifying experience of your life didn’t even happen. Mostly.
Dean still tries to be discreet when he bring a girl back with him to whichever motel you’re staying at. Sam asked you once why Dean rents an extra room instead of just taking yours and asking you to bunk with Sam. You sputtered out an answer and Sam gave you a knowing look and didn’t ask a second time.
It’s around that one year mark that you start sort-of dating an FBI agent that’s in the know as far as the supernatural goes. Dean doesn’t tease you, badger you or prod you about loverboy like he has in the past. He makes a point of not making any comments about it. At least not to your face.
You overhear him talk to Sam though.
What kind of name is Timmy, anyway? Come on, man, Timmy?
She can do better than that monkey in a suit. A pencil pusher is what he is.
What kind of relationship is it if they only see each other when a case takes us to the East coast? Huh? Not the kind of relationship she deserves.
You also notice how most of your cases don’t take you to the East coast at all anymore. Sam shrugs and looks anywhere but at you when you ask him about that. Is evil converging in the Hollywood hills?
Things don’t last with Timmy, which doesn’t really surprise you. You might have been wrong about you and Dean but you weren’t wrong about the fact that if you were ever going to be with anyone, it’d be a Winchester. It’d be him. You don’t have the kind of lifestyle that’d allow anything else. That’s the predominant reason, you try to tell yourself. You figure you just won’t be with anyone. Your years are numbered, that’s the kind of lifestyle you do have.
It’s another year and in true Winchester fashion one of you is sort of dying the first time Dean tells you he loves you. He uses the three words, tacks on a Loser at the end and punctuates the phrase with a kiss.
Read it on ao3
A/N: This was supposed to be an unrequited love story and it was supposed to end with the scene in the library and in my heart that's where it does end but I figure that might be less pleasant to read. I wanted to twist the trope, which I've obviously failed to do. 
@impandagrl @hannahindie @trexrambling
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sophisticated-angel · 8 years ago
Text
Out of My Hands - Part Seven
Character: Dean Winchester
Warning: Mention of blood
Word Count: 2,015
Pairing: Castiel x Reader, eventual Dean x Reader
Prologue - Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six
Summary: Hiding in her own home from Castiel, the reader’s night is interrupted by Dean and a wounded Sam. For the first time in a long while, she lets herself be vulnerable.
Story:
           They didn't even make it out of town.
           Dean had taken a back road as an experiment, and, as their luck would have it, they stumbled across a shifter hiding out in the woods. They lost it, spent the day tracking the damn thing, and then when they finally found it, it took a good chunk out of Sam before Dean riddled it with about six silver bullets. Dragging his bleeding brother into the backseat of the car, Dean patches him up as best he can with duct tape and a ratty old t-shirt and floors it back in the direction he came from earlier.
           There's bound to be a hospital if he kept driving out, but she's closer.
*    *    *    *    *
           Not even locking your door makes you feel any better. Night falls, darkness consumes the place, and you leave the lights off, feeling as if the dark might hide you. You want to lose yourself more than anything, want to somehow separate your mind from your body and cease to exist for a few minutes. The best you can do is hide the trench coat he forgot, bury yourself beneath a heavy afghan, and try to focus on the late night infomercial buzzing on TV.
           You were simply friendly, weren't you? Nothing you said or did warranted any sort of romantic advances, hadn't been asking for flirtations. It was the first and last time you'll ever give him a chance. For a moment you thought maybe he had the potential of being at least tolerable, in the distant future maybe a friend of sorts, but not anymore. What he tried to do was just . . . weird. It made you uncomfortable, to say the least.
           The knocking comes just at the clock strikes one in the morning.
           You jump, lifting your head to watch the front door. In seconds the knocking comes again, rapid and urgent.
           “(y/n)!” calls a voice from outside. “(y/n), I need you!”
           Not Castiel, Dean. But didn't he skip town?
           Throwing the afghan aside, you set your feet on the ground and walk quickly over to open the door. On the other side is Dean, as was expected, and leaning heavily against him is a barely conscious Sam.
           “Dean? What the hell?”
           “Can you play doctor?” he gasps.
           “What?”
           “Can you play doctor?” he almost barks. “Can you help me fix him?”
           Taken by surprise, it takes longer than you would like for your mouth to form an answer. “Yeah. Get him on the couch.”
           Dean doesn't save time for pleasantries, and as he drags his brother over to the sofa, you jog to your kitchen and pull a med kit from under the sink, something a little more heavy duty than what you would normally find in someone's medicine cabinet. Mind in medical mode, you carry the case back to the couch and give it to Dean to open while you give Sam's injuries a once-over.
           “Duct tape?” you tug at the edge of the silver tape.
           “It's all I had at the moment.”
           “Whatever works, I guess. What happened?”
           “Damn shifter in the woods sliced him open pretty good. We haven't managed to leave town yet.”
           “Geez. Alright, this has to come off.” Working swiftly but gently, you pry the duct tape from where it sticks against Sam's side, eliciting a hiss from the dazed man.
           Once the wound is exposed, blood flows freely from it, seeping into his already ruined shirt and jacket and rubbing off on the fabric of the sofa cushions. You'll clean those up later once Sam isn't actively staining them. Dean already has a needle threaded, and though he's probably more than ready to do the stitching himself, you're too far gone in your work to acknowledge that, instead plucking it from his hands and setting to work yourself. Dean has the forethought to stick a roll of gauze between his brother's teeth. With expert movements, you've got the wound closed in less than a minute, and then it's only a matter of making it look neat and clean.
           Sam begins to wake up more as you finish taping a bandage to his side, grimacing at the throbbing he probably feels.
           “Go get him some water,” you order. “Cups are in the cupboard to the left of the sink.”
           Dean doesn't bother protesting, and in moments he's holding a half-full glass of water to his brother's mouth, babying him. Even when Sam tries to hold the glass himself, Dean keeps his hand on it. You leave the two to get up and wash your hands at the kitchen sink, taking the med kit out with you and putting it back in its place. From here you can pick up on Dean's worried words as he finally starts to calm down.
           “You alright, Sammy?”
           “I think I'll live,” Sam mutters as he tries to sit up farther, wincing.
           “He needs to lie down,” you say. “I'll help you get him upstairs. He can have my room for the night.”
           “(y/n), I don't-” Sam begins.
           “Don't argue with me.”
           With Dean's assistance, you guide Sam up to the second floor and get him lying down on your bed, stripping him of his shirt and jacket before pulling up the comforter. He doesn't fight, doesn't have the strength to. Matter of fact, he's almost out when you lay him down. While you fuss over Sam, Dean backs off and stands awkwardly by the end of the bed until you suggest that he go downstairs and make sure you got everything back in the med kit.
           “Dean likes you,” Sam murmurs.
           “Does he now?” You roll with it, chalking it up to a product of his exhaustion and injuries.
           “Yeah. Guy's got a major crush on you, only he won't admit it because he's an idiot.”
           “That's not uncommon. The idiot thing.”
           “You'd like him. I know he likes you.”
           “You already said that.”
           But Sam's asleep, unable to carry on the conversation. He snores softly once, completely at the mercy of Sandman, and you grin. With a momentary glance back, you flip off the light and head back downstairs and into the darkness of the living room. You must have done that whole thing in the dark without realizing it.
           Dean hovers near the door to the back patio, pulling aside the curtain to peer out into the dark yard, and he doesn't notice your presence until you flip on the kitchen light.
           “You alright?” you ask. “No injuries you're hiding?”
           “No. I'm good.” He turns away from the window and rests his elbows on the counter. “Thank you, before I forget.”
           “Not a problem.”
           “I would have taken him to a hospital, but you were closer, and I didn't want to make him wait any longer than necessary.”
           “Happy to be of service. So what the hell was a shifter doing out there in the woods?”
           “Killing people. Found a couple of bodies in its stink hole. Burned them and killed it.”
           “Not bad for just one day. Sam isn't dead either, so that's a bonus.”
           “Yeah.” He cracks a small smile, a quiet repetition of 'thank you'. “Well, I guess I'll go back out to the car.”
           “You're gonna sleep out there?”
           He shakes his head. “No, I'm too worked up. I'll probably just sit with the radio on until Sam wakes up.”
           You say nothing as he heads for the door, keys in hand, but the moment he puts his hand on the knob, one words comes.
           “Stay.”
           He stops, turns, and eyes you questioningly.
           “Stay,” you say again. “I mean, if you won't sleep, I could really use some company right about now.”
           “Aren't you tired?”
           “Not really. Stay?”
           “Alright.”
           He turns away from the door and pockets his keys again, and your heart does a tiny relieved flip. Taking your afghan from the end of the couch, you wrap it around your shoulders and sit cross-legged on the floor, plucking at a fraying thread as Dean sits next to you with his legs stretched out.
           “Rough day?” he inquires.
           “Not rough, just . . . odd.”
           “Hunting odd?”
           “No, different odd.” Rubbing your hands together, you habitually tug at the wedding band on your left ring finger, recalling the events of earlier in vivid detail.
           “Fair enough. You seem tense.”
           “I am tense.”
           “Any particular reason? Besides me barging in here with my half-dead brother.”
           You shrug. “Just . . . people. I don't know. Just this one guy.”
           “Boyfriend?”
           “Not even close.”
           “Stalker?”
           “Warmer.”
           “I was kidding. Is he the reason you asked me to stay in the house?”
           “Yes – no, I don't – I'm not . . . I just want company.” Exasperated, you cover your face with your hands and hunker over the nest formed by your legs. “I'm lonely, Dean.”
           Dean lets out a breath. “This might seem a little bit forward, but what's wrong?”
           “Just a weird day. I don't know what's going on with my life anymore.”
           “That's fairly normal for people like us. Be specific.”
           “You don't want to hear about it.”
           “I do if there's a problem. Would you rather I start?”
           “Go for it.”
           “Tell me about your ring.”
           Sitting up, you stare in surprise, momentarily glancing down at your left hand and the ring that adorns it. Damn thing doesn't usually attract anyone's attention besides your own. “There's nothing to tell.”
           “It had to come from somewhere.” Reaching over, he taps the ring. “What's the engraving?”
           “I don't know.” Pulling your hand away, you ball it in the blanket. “Some weird language. I don't know what it means.”
           “Who gave it to you?”
           “Nobody. He's nobody.”
           “He must have been someone at some point. Fiancé ? Promise ring? Close relative who died?”
           “Just leave it alone, would you?” you snap suddenly. “I don't want to talk about it.”
           “Sorry.”
           “So am I.” Rising, you discard the afghan and stride into the kitchen, desperately needing something to do. Bloodstains on the couch, you remember.
           As you mix up a combination of a few chemicals, you're vaguely aware of Dean watching you from the other side of the counter. Brushing past him, you carry your concoction and a dishrag out to the sofa and rub the red spots vigorously. The stains begin to fade almost instantly, courtesy of your prompt removal and the chemicals in the bowl. The sparks in your head threaten to set fire to something, renewed aggravation and confusion flooding your insides, and they find an escape through your mouth.
           “I don't have a boyfriend. I don't have one night stands. I used to, just not anymore. Too much going on. Too much crap in my life to have time for romance. This stupid ring doesn't mean anything. I don't know why I can't just take it off-”
           Dean spins you around and plants a firm kiss on your mouth, hands gripping your shoulders. You freeze, holding your breath, the dishrag clutched tightly in one hand, until he breaks the moment. Gasping finally, you can only stare, too stunned for words.
           “Sorry,” he breathes. “I don't know what came over me.”
           “I don't care.” Euphoric, you toss the rag, throw your arms around his neck, and pull him in for a second kiss.
           You haven't felt this in more than a year, this sort of happiness. You've been deprived of affection, shut off from the world of selfish physical pleasure both against your will and by it. There is nothing terrible about this kiss, no hesitation on either side, and it overwhelms you so much that you begin to tremble slightly. All at once it becomes too much, too strong, too unexpected, and with a shaking breath, you pull away and begin to cry softly.
           “Hey, what's the matter?” Dean catches your head in his hand. “Is something wrong?”
           Feeling very vulnerable, you hug yourself and lean into him, head resting over his heart where you can hear it beating. “Hold me,” you plead. “Please, hold me.”
READ PART EIGHT HERE
@pureawesomeness001​ @27bmm​ @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes​ @super-not-naturall​ @gabriel-themightysugaraddict @kiwi-pop @coffeekeyboardsss @erikafierce @kdfrqqg @riversong-sam @18crazybutcutealsopsycho @peaceloveancolor @4401lnc
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impala-dreamer · 8 years ago
Text
Stitches and Whiskey
SPN FanFic
~Y/N patches Dean up after a rough hunt~
Dean x Reader, Sam
1,164 Words
Warnings: Extreme Sass and Banter between Dean x Reader. Also Fluff. And some wandering hands.
A/N: This sprang from my question of, “Why don’t they just go to CVS and get a real first aid kit?” Thanks to @idreamofhazel and @inmysparetime0 for their help and @jpadjackles for the gif (i’m a mess tonight. lol)
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Dean crashed through the motel room door, Sam in his wake, and Y/N close behind. They were drenched in sweat, covered in dirt, and dripping with blood. The hunt had gone just about as expected, perhaps with a few more baseball bats to the face than Dean would have liked, but it wasn’t anything the trio couldn’t handle.
Sam’s nose was bleeding, his lip and eye cut; dried blood stained his flannel and he ripped it off, retreating quickly into the bathroom. Dean collapsed onto his bed and slowly peeled off his shirt. A deep gash marred his upper arm, the flesh torn and oozing. Y/N gasped when she saw it, and ran to her duffel bag.
“You’re gonna need stitches,” she said as she dug through her clothes to pull out the first aid kit from the bottom of the bag.
Dean rolled his eyes, “Ya think?” He touched the cut and pulled back, wincing in pain.
“Well don’t touch it, dummy!” Y/N shook her head and set the white box down on the bed. She sat next to him and gently touched his arm, her fingers dancing around the wound, assessing the damage. “Yup, that’s a doozy!”
“Who even says ‘doozy’?” Dean scoffed, “How old are you?”
“Younger than you, Grandpa. Now, shut up and hold still.”
Dean huffed and let his head fall back, waiting impatiently for Y/N to stitch him up. She opened the kit and carefully laid out what she would need. Dean peeked down at her, “What is that?”
Y/N raised an eyebrow as she ripped open out a pack of gauze, shaking her head, “A first aid kit. For to administer first aid. Works much better than floss and whiskey.”
“Nothing wrong with floss and whiskey, Y/N.”
“Yeah, well, I happen to know about these magical places called drug stores, and in them you can purchase medical supplies so you don’t die of sepsis after being cut with rusty, jagged pipes,” she sassed and opened the brown bottle of peroxide, holding it to the gauze pad in her hand. “By the way, when was your last tetanus shot?”
“What’s a tetanus shot?” Y/N rolled her eyes and pressed the wet gauze to his skin. He yelped like a child and pulled away. “Holy shit!”
“Relax! It’s killing the germs!” Y/N scolded.
“Why is it bubbling?”
“It’s peroxide. It does that. Now, hold still!”
Dean shook his head, his teeth clenched, his lips twisted in a deep frown. “God damn it Y/N! You’re a crappy nurse, you know that?”
“Hey! I’m the best damn nurse you’ve ever had!” Y/N dabbed at the cut and then turned her attention back to the medical equipment. She carefully chose her needle and thread, and took a deep breath, looking up at Dean. “This is gonna suck,” she cautioned.
Dean sighed, “This is why we use whiskey. I can’t drink that peroxide shit.”
Y/N took pity on him and went to the table by the door, bringing back his bottle of Jack. He twisted the cap off with his teeth and took a deep drink. “You want some?” He asked, holding the bottle towards her.
“That might help actually, it’s been awhile since I’ve done this.” Dean’s entire body tensed with fear as she spoke, but she laughed it away, “Just kidding.” She winked and took a quick sip. “OK, hold still…”
“Wait!” Dean scooted back and grabbed the bottle once more. “Maybe we should wait for Sam.”
“Dean, I know what I’m doing. Hold still.”
“Well just… I like the way he does it.”
Y/N let out a frustrated breath, “Are you kidding me? Hold still or I’ll tie you down!”
A sly smirk formed on Dean’s lips, “Promise?”
“You’re ridiculous,” Y/N shook her head and set to work.
Eleven perfect stitches later, Y/N sat back and smiled proudly. “Looks perfect.”
Dean twisted his neck to look down at her work. He gave a tiny nod of approval. “Not bad,” he praised halfheartedly.
“Not bad?” Y/N feigned shock, “It’s beautiful. I haven’t seen stitch work like this since I had my appendix out in the ninth grade.”
Dean laughed and watched as Y/N went back to the kit once more. She tore open a tiny square package and pulled out an alcohol soaked towelette as Dean looked on, worried.
“What is that?” he asked, his brows knitted in concern once again.
“An alcohol swab.”
“Whoa, I don’t need to be swabbed. What are you swabbing?”
Y/N growled in annoyance. “You are such an infant, Dean! It’s alcohol. I’m gonna wipe your stitches and make sure no nasty little germs sneak in there before I bandage you up. Good Lord, it’s like you’ve never been to a doctor or anything.”
“Hey, just because we have our own way of doing things, don’t make it bad.” Dean hissed as Y/N passed the cold wipe across his freshly sealed cut.
“Yeah and the proper way isn’t bad either, is it?” Y/N asked, titling her head up at him.
“I guess not,” he conceded, his mouth twitching as she wiped him again. “Your way hurts more though.”
Y/N softened, “Does it really?” She tossed the swab onto the floor. “I’m sorry baby.” Slowly she leaned down close to his arm. “I just want to take care of you.” She pursed her lips and blew across the cut, soothing his pain with her warm breath. “Is that better?”
“Mmm… I take it back,” he smirked, “You are a pretty good nurse. And sexy too.” Dean winked and touched her cheek with his free hand.
“You think so? Well maybe I can give you a proper check up.” She teased and placed her hand on his knee, slowly dragging it up to settle against the bulge in his jeans.
“I’d like that,” he moaned as she rubbed her palm down over his crotch. “Do you make house calls?”
“Only for my favorite patients.” Y/N leaned in even closer, pressing her breasts against his chest. Just as their lips were about to meet in that sweet, exhaustion fueled kiss they so craved, the bathroom door popped open, and a fresh-faced Sam emerged.
“Oops,” Y/N laughed, “I guess we’ll have to reschedule your appointment.” She pecked Dean’s cheek and pulled away with a pout.
“Damn it Sammy! Alone time!” Dean shook his head and pulled his shirt back on, glaring at his brother. “You ever hear of knocking?”
Sam returned Dean’s glare with one of his own, raising his shoulders in question, “What the hell, Dean? I was in the bathroom.”
Dean sighed and watched as Y/N cleared away the trash from the bed, knowing his time at the doctor’s office would have to wait until they were back at home. Grumbling, he pulled his shirt back on and sneered at his brother, “Still shoulda knocked.”
Forevers: @1-800-misha @27bmm @amanda-teaches @applepie-and-angelwings @arryn-nyxx @atc74 @autopistaaningunaparte @ayeeitsemry @bea789 @because-imma-lady-assface @babypieandwhiskey @blanketmadeofstar @brewsthespirit-blog @britt-spn @buckysmetallicstump @bulletscrossbowpie @charliebradbury1104 @chaos-and-the-calm67 @chelsea072498 @chumi-la-chula @cici0507 @clairese1980 @collectivekiera @cosmicpeanuthologram @createdbybadappreciation @cyrilconnelly @dannnyphantomm @dancingalone21 @deadinside-muser @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester @demonangelimpala @docharleythegeekqueen @dustycelt @evansrogerskitten @evyiione @faithfulpanicmoon @fangirl1802 @feelmyroarrrr @flowermisha @freaksforthewin @frenchybell @fuckyeahfeysand @gemini75eeyore @ghostkitty1103 @hamartiamacguffin @impalaimagining @im-super-potter-locked @inmysparetime0 @jealousbitxh @jpadjackles @joanne-thefangirl @jotink78 @kristaparadowski @kas-not-cas @katrodriguez99 @lavendellove @likesiriusly @love-kittykat21 @luciisthebest @maddieburcham1 @mamaredd123 @meganwinchester1999 @mogaruke @megansescape @mija-novella @milkymilky-cocopuff @mogaruke @mrsbatesmotel53 @mrswhozeewhatsis @my-life-is-here-soo @myfand0msandm0re @mysteriouslyme81 @naadestiel @notesfromalabprincess @notnaturalanahi @obi-wan-my-only-ho @overcastmisfitkid @pain-of-artifice @percussiongirl2017 @percywinchester27 @petrovadixon @pinknerdpanda @poukothenerd @riddikulus-obsessions @riversong-sam @sam-winchesters-long-locks @sandlee44 @sarahgrace-1989 @scxrchy @smoothdogsgirl @spectaculicious @spontaneousam @summer-binging-spn @superbasementflower @supernaturallymarvellous @supernaturalyobessed @tennesseewhiskey-and-pie @trexrambling @thecynicalnerd @the-latina-trickster @therewillbeblood @tom-is-in-my-tardis @typicalweirdbookworm @thegreatficmaster @vine-colored-assbutt @whatareyousearchingfordean @wi-deangirl77 @winchestersmut @wordstothewisereaders @wvnchxstxr @xxthevampirediariesexpertxx @yearoftheweasley @youtubehelpsmesurvive @yvngkinggchristyy
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hannahindie · 8 years ago
Text
Not What She Seems-Chapter 4: The One Where Dean Is Taken By Surprise
**Disclaimer: Supernatural is owned by the CW and whoever else is involved and not me. Ava and Sebastian are mine, though, so if they'd like to maybe use them, it wouldn't make me sad. Again, this is rated M for language, violence, and sexual situations. There will be mention of sexual assault, although not super detailed, so if that's something that will upset you, you may want to skip over it. There will also be consensual situations that will be slightly more detailed (who are we kidding, there's gonna be some smut), so keep that in mind too.  This is my first fan fic, so I hope I’ve done the characters justice. This isn’t quite canon, as there some things that are mentioned in the original timeline and some things that aren’t. Let me know what you think, and I hope you stick around to see what happens to the boys and Ava. :) **
Chapter Notes: Sam and Dean find Benjamin’s house and Dean finds an unexpected surprise. The brothers realize they aren’t just looking for a killer, but another victim as well. Sebastian tries to make Ava feel at home, and starts to open up to her. Ava makes a mistake that could be fatal.
Dean x OC   Sam x OC (friendship)
"So explain this to me again." Dean put the car in park across the street from Benjamin's house. Sam sighed.
"You've hunted vetala before, Dean, it's not anything new." Dean shrugged.
"Sure doesn't seem normal. So explain again why you think that's what it is. Because right now all I'm seeing is some freaky asshat with jacked up teeth making a buffet out of people." Sam flipped open the top folder on his lap and shuffled through the pictures. He found the one he wanted and handed it to Dean.
"Look." Dean grabbed it roughly from him and stared at it. He had to admit, the bite marks looked slightly off compared to vamp teeth. He thought back to the last time they had faced a pair of vetala. He shook his head.
"Even if that's what the teeth look like, and just shut your hole because I haven't agreed with you yet, even if that's what it looks like, everything else is wrong." He handed the photo back to Sam. "They hunt in pairs, Sammy. They feed on blood and drop the bodies. They don't keep them for months and they certainly don't torture them."
"Dad hunted a lone vetala," Sam said, trying not to sound pouty but failing. Dean scoffed.
"Yea, but that was before you even went to Stanford. Seeing vetalas in pairs is rare enough. We've seen 'em, what, like twice? Never mind seeing one hunting alone. They work better in pairs. And the ones we've seen have been female anyway." Dean paused. "Which honestly that's a little weird, but by no means does that prove anything. If anything, it proves my point."
"What about the blood? The coroner said they had been pretty low on blood..." Dean rolled his eyes.
"After the torture they went through, I'm surprised they had any blood left."
"Let's just go inside and see if we can find anything, okay?"
"Fine. But I'm telling you right now, if we don't find anything, we are leaving." Dean climbed out of the car and headed towards the house.
"Fine." Dean kept watch as Sam carefully cut the crime scene tape that sealed the door and picked the lock. The door swung open quietly and the younger Winchester slid inside. From the foyer, everything seemed normal. There was a coat rack in the corner, framed artwork on the walls. Most of them appeared to be original pieces. Dean raised an eyebrow and whistled.
"That's an original sketch from the Walking Dead comic." Sam looked at him, somewhat dumbfounded.
"What?" Dean pointed.
"Walking Dead. Bicycle zombie girl. That's an original, it's signed." Sam continued to stare at him.
"How in the hell did you know that, Dean?" His brother shrugged.
"I have a particular set of skills." Sam opened his mouth to tell Dean just what kind of skills he had when Dean pointed over his shoulder. Sam turned to follow his brother's gaze and his eyes landed on a bloody smear on the door frame. "Guess we know where the party started, huh?" They walked into the kitchen and Dean stopped abruptly, causing Sam to nearly plow him over.
"Dude, what-" Sam's words trailed off. The kitchen was covered in blood. At first glance, it looked like the walls were painted a rust red, until you looked closer and realized you could still see the original light blue paint. The island in the middle of the kitchen was obviously where they had spent the most time, although there was a blood splattered chair kicked over at the other end of the kitchen.
"Holy shit." Sam just nodded in agreement, his words failing him. They'd seen some bloody scenes, but this one was different somehow. All the knives that had been left at the scene had been collected as evidence, but you could still see their outlines on the counter and in the sink. "We have seen some screwed up shit, but this is a bit much." Sam grimaced.
"Just think, he was alive for most of this. Why fight that hard? There had to be something keeping him from giving up." Dean's eyes widened.
"Not something. Someone." He passed through the kitchen, ignoring how his feet stuck to the blood on the floor, and made his way into the living room. He saw a couple of framed photos on the mantle. "See, Sammy, I told you. It's always someone-" he trailed off as he picked up one of the pictures. The guy from the morgue had taken the photo, his arms stretched out in order to get both people in the frame. It was the girl that had stopped him in his tracks, her reckless smile and smattering of freckles across her nose that had knocked the air from his lungs. Her long blonde hair blew in the wind, and her eyes were squeezed shut as she laughed, probably at something Ben had said. Dean knew because he had a similar picture of his own, one Sam didn't even know about, one he'd kept his own little secret. A moment of happiness so rare in their world that he didn't want to share it with anyone else. The girl in the picture looked shockingly like his own moment of happiness, so much so that when Sam caught up to him and asked him what was wrong, he said only one word. "Jo." Sam's eyebrows knitted together in confusion.
"What?" He looked over Dean's shoulder. "Oh wow, she does look like Jo." He picked up the second frame and studied it for a moment. "Man, they could be sisters. That's almost unsettling." Dean remained silent, still staring at the photo in his hand. Sam looked back at his brother and was surprised by how pale Dean had become, and noticed he was gripping the frame so tightly that his knuckles were white. "Dean," he said softly, "what's wrong?" Dean blinked slowly, cleared his throat, and sat the picture back on the mantle.
"Nothin', Sam. I'm fine." Just like that, the moment was over. "Let's look around, see what else we can find. Did the police mention a second person that was missing or any suspects at all?" Sam shook his head.
"No, not a word. Maybe they thought she was involved, although that seems highly unlikely." Sam moved over to the coffee table and picked up a magazine. "Ava Walker. Hmm..." He flipped it back over and looked at it. "She's into abandoned places." Dean grunted.
"I don't see why anyone would be. Places like that get you killed."
"Yea, Dean, but not everyone knows that the thing that goes bump in the night is actually real." He tossed the magazine down and walked towards the bathroom. He flipped the light on. It looked like what you'd expect a bathroom that was shared by a couple to look like, except for the splash of blood in the tub. "This guy was busy."
"Sam, I think busy might be an understatement." Dean and Sam met back in the hallway. "Ready to go up?" Sam nodded and quietly followed his brother upstairs. The first room they came to appeared to be the master bedroom. Dean nudged the door. There was blood spattered around the room but it looked more like it was left while someone was looking for something. There were two desks in the room. One was neat and orderly, obviously someone's work station. It was sharp edges and metal and glass. The other desk was old, smooth wood, rounded where it used to be sharp from years of use. Although most of the surface was covered with bits of fabric, thread, and magnets with needles, it seemed organized, like the person had gone to great lengths to tame their chaos. Above the desk was a cork board full of notes and patterns, lists of supplies, and old receipts. Dean began going through the drawers, each its own little chaotic world, until he found a sketchbook. He flipped through it. It ranged from quick sketches and patterns to detailed portraits. The whole book had been filled, but it wasn't until near the very end that something caught his eye. He quit thumbing the pages and stared. The drawing in front of him was stunning. It was a devil's trap, thrown into a mosaic. Colors pulsed around the devil's trap, incantations that Sam probably had memorized written in beautiful, swirling handwriting. It was the last drawing in the book. "Sam..." he handed the book over. Sam ran his hand over the incantations before looking back at Dean.
"Who the hell is this girl, man?" Dean ignored the question as he wandered over to another board with more pictures. All the pictures were of Ava, Ben, or the two of them together. There weren't any friends or family pictured in any of them. She looked so much like Jo, even at different angles. He heard Sam dialing someone.
"Garth? Hey, man, it's Sam...yea, I'm good. You got a minute? Great...can you look up someone for me? Yea, we've got another missing person...yea, her name is Ava Walker...mmhmm...I know, we found some weird stuff and she's not here...I don't think she's the thing we're looking for though. I don't know man...can you ask around, see if anyone recognizes her or her name? Yea, thanks, we'll let you know." He hung up. Dean was still staring at the pictures. "Garth is going to check around." No answer. "Earth to Dean...hey!" Dean looked at him, realization crossing his features.
"No one knows she's missing, Sam. No one even realizes she's gone, there's not one person looking for her." Sam glanced at the pictures and then back to Dean.
"We know she's missing. We'll find her." Dean's mouth set into a thin, determined line.
"I'm catching the son of a bitch that is doing this, human or not." He stormed out of the house and Sam followed, glad that he was finally on board but confused as to what had changed his mind.
Ava was trying to think of what day it was and how long she'd been captive. The curtains made it impossible to tell the time of day, and since she had been unconscious initially, she had no point of reference. She heard the door sweep open and Sebastian entered the room, smiling and carrying several bags.
"I didn't know what you worked with best, so I just got a little of everything." He sat the bags on the table by the window and walked over to the bed. "Now, I'm going to let you free for a moment. Before you get any ideas, you'll be restrained at the table too, but just your ankles. One step at a time, you see. Can I trust you, pet?" She nodded slowly. She was pretty sure she was too weak to fight back anyway, but wanted to test just how weak she'd gotten since being chained up. Sebastian unlocked her cuffs and gently picked her up. "See? Not so bad." He placed her carefully in the chair and latched both ankles back into shackles. She sat with her hands crossed on her lap, afraid to move. He tilted his head. "Well go ahead, you can go through it." She slowly began pulling out the art supplies and organizing them.
"This is all very nice, thank you." Sebastian beamed.
"Of course! Did I forget anything?"
"I don't believe so. What exactly did you want me to do?" He shrugged.
"The only rule is that you draw me first. I want to see how you see me." Ava looked at Sebastian out of the corner of her eye as she grabbed a pencil to start and the sketchbook.
"Why does it matter how I see you?" Sebastian sat across from her and rested his chin in his hand.
"Oh, it's really important. I like to know how people feel, what makes them tick. Some ways are more efficient than others. I can't read you though. It's...frustrating." She smirked.
"Frustrating, huh?" She glanced up at Sebastian and wanted nothing more than to stab the pencil she was holding into his empty, black eye. Instead she started sketching the outline of his face, falling into a rhythm as she progressed.
"Where did you learn to do this?" She shrugged.
"Practice. I had a lot of time to myself growing up, so I taught myself. The library is a magnificent thing."
"So I'm assuming you did well in school?" She chuckled.
"Yea, sure. When I went. Doesn't matter much anyway, does it?"
"Sure. Beauty is wonderful, but intelligence is a part of beauty. I've always been intrigued by people, and the things they share with me...I learn a lot."
"Hmm...well, I hope I don't disappoint."
"Oh, so far you've been a true surprise. Far more than my previous guests, anyway." She began adding details to the outline.
"You've had other guests?"
"Sure, I've had several. They...didn't work out. We tried, of course. I'm not one to give up, but the girls were...lacking. Seemed like a waste, but what are you going to do?"
"What did you do with them?" When he didn't answer, she looked up and found him staring at her. She decided to toe the line. "If I have to answer questions, you do too." He switched his chin from one hand to the other and tilted his head.
"Is that so?" She nodded. "I'm not so sure my answer would be conducive to continuing this lovely conversation." Ava shrugged again, but remained silent, sketching out the details around his eyes and mouth. “I killed them." She paused briefly, which he may have noticed, but continued without remark. "You probably want to know why. Truthfully, I don't know. I got bored. They weren't strong enough, and they whined, and my patience ran thin. I need someone strong, you see. Someone bright and beautiful, someone intelligent. I miscalculated the last five. It's amazing what a little stress can do to change a person." Ava's eyes widened slightly at the number, but she kept drawing. While Sebastian was talking, she had noticed a slight glint just under the nightstand. She was pretty sure it was a piece of glass from the tantrum he had thrown earlier. So she kept drawing, willing him to leave the room. She put the pencil down and looked at her work. Something was missing. "Are you done?"
"No, not quite." She pulled out a brush and some paint. "So exactly what is your plan?" Sebastian leaned back in his chair.
"Do you know what Nephilim are?" She shook her head.
"Not really. I read something about them a long time ago, but I wasn't really into the church scene." Sebastian smiled.
"Me neither, really. Short version, the sons of God mingled with the daughters of man and the daughters gave birth to the Nephilim. The offspring from an angel and a human are stronger than both. They are considered abominations by most, but I find the concept beautiful. It's a nice thought, right?"
"Sure, I guess. I've not about it much, but it's an interesting concept. So you are religious then? What's that got to do with me?' She laid her brush down.
"No, not really. And it has more to do with you than anything else that I've told you." He flipped the drawing around to face him. She had captured both his coldness and good looks to a T. The entire drawing was in black and white except for the eyes. They were a bright blue, with coal black, narrow pupils. He stared at it for a moment, then slowly looked up at her. "This is how you see me?"
"Yes. Is it wrong?" He looked at her, dark eyes intense. She'd begun to think she had pushed her luck too far.
"No, it's not." He clapped his hands together. "How about we try food again, shall we? Do you like sandwiches? I've got peanut butter and jelly, ham and cheese...pick your poison.
"Peanut butter and jelly would be fine, thank you." Sebastian smiled.
"Fantastic. I'll be right back!" He left the room and she waited until the door shut before she scrambled across the floor towards the nightstand. Her fingers grazed the cool glass and her heart jumped. After what felt like several long minutes, she managed to get her fingers around it.
"Should have used shorter chains, asshole," she muttered. She began sawing at the leather with the shard, grimacing as every move cut deeper into her hand. "Come on, come on..." The cuff finally pulled free and a sob escaped her. She started working on the second one, but the glass was slick with her blood and she couldn't get a grip. "No, no, no...please, just a little more..." She dropped the glass and it broke. "No! Dammit!" She picked up the bigger of the two pieces and kept cutting. Her blood was dripping everywhere and between the sweat dripping off her brow and tears, she could barely see what she was doing. Before she could get the second cuff off, the door swung open.
"What are you doing?" Sebastian bellowed as he threw the tray and rushed her. There was nothing she could say, no lie she could tell. So she just looked at him in silence, the next few moments as if they were in slow motion. He finally reached her, grabbed her by the throat, and threw her so hard at the wall that it tore the remaining leather cuff where she had been sawing at it. "How...dare...you? After everything I've done for you!" He kicked her in the ribs as hard as he could, and felt at least one of them crack. "I'm giving you life and this is how you repay me." He kicked her again, then grabbed her by the hair and drug her back to the bed. He threw her down and the last thing she remembered was his fist coming down towards her face, and then the world went black.
@wheresthekillswitch @sassyspn67 @trexrambling
Chapter 5: The One With The Chick Flick Moment
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Text
Two Keys
Title: Two Keys – Warmth Series Part Three
Characters/Pairing: Dean x Reader, Sam
Word Count: 2100
Reader Gender: Female
Warnings: The reader is injured, stitches, mentions of a body, blood, some swearing.
Summary: The Reader comes home from the hunt injured and Dean stitches her up.
Author’s Note: Woohoo, part three! I’m still blown away by all the lovely comments you guys are leaving about this series, I’m so happy you’re enjoying it! And before you read this please remember that there’s still one more part (that might be out this weekend?) before you freak out *slips ominously into the shadows*
Please send me an Ask or add yourself to This List if you want to be tagged in the final part of this!
Read the previous parts here: Two Beds (Part 1), Two Shirts (Part 2)
If you would like to read any of my other fics please check out my Masterlist!
*I made the gif from a YouTube video, sorry if it sucks!*
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     Eventually you did get up, leaving the warmth and comfort of the bed – and Dean – and dragging two grumpy Winchesters out the door, resigning them to your same chilly fate. You made sure to be dressed and ready to go before Sam woke up, not wanting him to get any premature ideas about something going on between you and his brother - not when you didn’t even know if there was anything to get ideas about. You didn’t even know if you wanted there to be.
     You still held strong in your belief that getting involved with a hunter was a bad idea, that it would only end in heartbreak for both involved. But despite that, despite the fact that you’d consoled friends more times than you could count after the loss a loved one on a hunt gone wrong, you couldn’t shake your feelings for Dean. Couldn’t shake the idea that he might feel the same way.
     And if he did, didn’t you owe it to yourself to try?
     At any rate, you had more pressing issues at the moment – like, for example, the four long, bleeding gashes running down your leg.
     “How ya doin, Y/N?”
       You stifled a groan. “Just great.”
      The blood-soaked rag pressed against your thigh stained your fingers red, the wound sending pain shooting through your body in white hot flashes. You did your best to keep pressure on the gash but you felt your strength disintegrating with every shuttering breath. When the car ground to a halt you gritted your teeth against the force.
     Dean was out of the driver’s seat and at your door as soon as his foot left the break pedal, wrapping his arm around your waist and helping you out of the car. You managed to limp back to suit 106’s door, discouraging any of Dean’s attempts to lift you up with glare that could scare off the Devil himself, then stumbled into the ugly little motel room and fell into a creaky wooden chair, ignoring Dean’s urgings for you to lie on the bed.
     You couldn’t let thoughts of his arms wrapped around you or his stupid, perfect face distract you from the very real possibility of you bleeding out right now on the green shag carpet. No, you would stay away from the bed and handle this yourself.
     Now you just had to convince them.
     “Sammy, get the first aid kit. Y/N, will please just lie down? This will be so much easier if you do.”
     You used the chair’s seat to push yourself upright and grabbed the beat-up white box from Sam’s hand. “I can do this myself, it’s okay. You guys go deal with the body, we never should have left it there.”
     “You were hurt -”
     “And now I’m safe, just go.”
     Sam and Dean exchanged skeptical looks, conducting a silent conversation in a way only they seemed to be able to, then Sam said, “I’ll go take care of the werewolf, Dean can stay here and stitch you up.”
     “No, I can -”
     “Y/N.”
     Dean’s voice was firm enough that your protest died before it even escaped your lips.
     “You can barely walk, that rag - while a valiant effort - has done almost nothing to stop the bleeding, and your stitches are so bad people look like Frankenstein when you’re done with them.”
     “Well, actually,” Sam cut in, “it’s Frankenstein’s monster, Frankenstein was the scientist, not the corpse.”
     Dean shoot shot his brother a classic Winchester bitch face. “Not helping.”
     Sam smiled sheepishly. “Right. I’ll just uh,” he pointed towards the door and grabbed Dean’s keys off the table, “I’ll go get rid of that body.”
     Dean grumbled something in response, his attention already on the first aid kit in your hand and the ever-growing red stain on your jeans.
     And then just like that, you were alone.
     Alone with the man who made your thoughts turn to mush and your chest go tight. Alone with the man who had spend the better part of last night holding you against his chest. Alone with the man who you desperately loved but were afraid to get involved with, the fear of losing him and potential for rejection clouding your every waking thought.
     You snapped back to reality when Dean pulled up a chair in front of you, the back legs squeaking as they dragged on the ground. He pulled a pair of scissors out of the first aid kit and swallowed just a little too loudly.
     “Okay, I uh …” Dean’s gaze flicked from your eyes to your leg, Adam’s apple bobbing nervously in his throat. “I need to … um … cut your pant leg.”
     You stiffened at the thought.
     The idea of Dean removing any of your clothes, whether it was innocent or not, sent your head spinning and made your heartbeat do an upswing.
     You looked at the metal gleaming in his hand and nodded numbly. Then he set to work.
     You watched silently as Dean carefully cut along the length of your jeans, stopping once he reached the wound and trying to pull the fabric as far away from your skin as possible before he made the cut. You winced when he peeled the blood-soaked material away from the four slashes on your leg.
     “Wow, that werewolf really gotcha good.”
     You stifled a laugh, trying to avoid any unnecessary movement. “I know, I can tell by the way blood’s leaking out of my body.”
     Dean chuckled, low and deep, and reached for a bottle on the table beside him.
     Then without warning he dumped it on your leg.
     “Ah! What the hell?!” You threw your head back and gritted your teeth, clenching your hands at your sides. “You couldn’t have told me first?”
     “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Dean whispered. He pushed a piece of stray hair behind your ear, the strands having fallen in your face when you jerked away from the pain. “I thought it would be easier that way. It’s the waiting, ya know? It’s the worst part.”
     You regained your composure and nodded in reluctant agreeance, your mind too preoccupied to form any coherent speech for one very, very compelling reason - Dean was moving closer. He was pulling his chair far enough forward that your knees practically touched, and the only reason they didn’t was because he was boxing your legs in with his, his face mere inches from your own.
      “Okay, just uh …” Dean gingerly placed his hand on your upper thigh, the slightest touch to keep you from moving. “Try to stay still.”
     Stay still? That didn’t sound like a problem - you weren’t even sure if you were breathing.
     You went stiff as a board and tried to focus on anything but Dean’s hand on your leg, tried to look anywhere but his piercing green eyes or his handsome face set in concentration as he brought the needle and thread closer and closer to the first cut on your leg. Lucky for you they weren’t too deep and wouldn’t leave any permeant damage, but they were long enough and jagged enough that they required stitches.
     And then the needle pierced your skin.
     You scrunched up your face and hissed out a breath, curling your fingers around the seat of your chair and squeezing until your knuckles turned white. You kept your eyes locked on a water stain on the ceiling, willing yourself to forget the pain as Dean dragged the thread through your skin over and over, sewing your wounds together one gentle stitch at a time.
     By the time he was finished you were practically numb to the sting of the needle and the uncomfortable pull of the thread on your tender skin.
     “Okay, done.”
     You looked down at your expertly stitched leg and then to the man who’d done it, his hand still lingering on your thigh, placed so high it almost touched your hip. “Thank you,” you said in a low voice, never breaking eye contact with Dean.
     “You’re welcome.”
     He spun and pulled a roll of fresh white gauze out of the first aid kit. “May I?”
     You nodded and let Dean pull you forward on the chair, giving him better access to your leg and bringing you that much closer to the man you were supposed to be staying away from. All you would have to do is lean forward just the smallest bit, barely even a move, and you would be kissing him.
     You shook the idea from your head when you felt the dull throb of Dean wrapping the bandage around your leg.
     You held eye contact with Dean as he covered your stitches with gauze, gently securing the wrapping with medical tape and being careful not to press too hard. But then he didn’t move his hand.
     With almost aggravating slowness Dean slid his hand up your leg and curled it around your waist, watching your eyes for any sign of unease, any reason for him to stop - but you didn’t give him one. This was a bad idea. Getting involved with another hunter was always a bad idea, and in the rational, emotionally stunted part of your brain, you knew that. Growing up in this life had taught you a long time ago that people like you and Dean didn’t get the happy ending, just a bloody death and an uncountable number of people who would get their happiness and not even know who made that possible. But now, with the man you loved holding you in his arms, lips so close your breath mingled, you thought maybe, just maybe, you were wrong.
     Maybe you and Dean could be together and everything would be alright, and even if it wasn’t, isn’t it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?
     Ignoring the little voice in your head telling you to stop and holding tight to the idea of love, sparkly and new, right in front of you, you leaned forward and closed your eyes. You parted your lips and pressed your forehead against Dean’s, breath coming faster as he tightened his grip on your waist.
     “Dean, I -”
     You weren’t sure what you’d intended to say, and unfortunately, you would never find out. Because at that exact moment, Sam burst through the door and you jerked away from Dean, fear grabbing hold of you once again.
      “Hey, guys.” Sam stormed through the room like a tornado, dropping a bag of greasy food on the table and shrugging off his coat, extinguishing any spark of hope you and Dean had in the moment before he’d opened that door. “Are ya feeling better, Y/N?”
     You blinked and turned to face him, trying to slow the thundering of your heartbeat in your ears and even out your breathing. “Yeah, much better. Dean fixed me up.”
     Sam smiled and dug in his pocket, walking over to you in two long strides. “Good, cuz I have a surprise for you.” He held his hand out with his palm exposed, metal catching the light from the motel’s dim lamp. “I got you your own room!”
     You swore the floor fell out from under you.
     “Last night you were so close to the edge of the bed I thought you would fall right off and I figured it was the least I could do after you tracked down that werewolf, so I went back to the front desk to see if they had a new room available. Now you can have some privacy for our last night here, and it’ll probably be easier to sleep alone with that leg.”
     Sam’s smile was effervescent as he waited for you to take the key from his hand, but your arms felt like lead at your sides.
     If you took the key your last night with Dean, your last chance to see if there was really something between the two of you, was gone. But if you didn’t take it, Sam would be suspicious and might start asking questions you didn’t have the answers to. Maybe you’d read too much into the situation. Maybe Dean didn’t feel the same way you did and rejecting the key in favor of spending another night beside him would make things weird between the two of you.
     You couldn’t risk that. This was a bad idea from the start.
     So with one deep breath, you snapped yourself out of your daze, plastered on your best fake smile, and thanked Sam as your treacherous hand reached out and plucked the key from his waiting palm.
Read Two Rooms - The Final Part
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