#✦ — • thewholecrew • kassy •

[headstrongblake]

@thewholecrew: you're back. i can finally breathe again. / kass & o

it's dreadful in the in-between, a terribly cold grey place that fills octavia with terror every time she dwells on it. before she'd even know that she had died or was immortal, that she was stuck in this place— she blamed the lingering feeling on a nightmare she couldn't remember. that was almost the worst of it. that there was this in-between place her soul went every time she died, and yet, once her heart began to beat again, octavia had no memory of it.

the process is slow. sometimes long and always unpredictable. but eventually, life slowly returns to her body. her skin regaining colour as blood trickled through her veins, feeding vital organs while her heart came alive. it beats slow at first. barely a thump. but before long, her heart regains a steady rhythm, slowly bringing octavia around. the overwhelming dread from the in-between leaves octavia stuttering for breath when she finally wakes somewhere comfy. her vision blurry at first as her lashes flutter against the soft, glowing light. "you're back," kassy's relieved murmur is the first sound octavia hears, alleviating any confusion as her girlfriend's fingers gently stroke her cheek. the corner of her mouth ticks upwards. she's with kassy. of course she's with kassy. instantly, octavia leans into the cool trace of her fingers, hues closing briefly. it's constantly exhausting returning, but she's safe here with kassy.

it isn't until octavia's lungs can fully expand that she opens her eyes again, this time clearly seeing the condo she's shared with kassy, and her beautiful love beside her. she looks a mess. terribly sad as octavia forced her stiff muscles to work, lifting her hand to trail the back of her fingers against kassy's jaw. "kassy." she said tenderly. it always takes some time to regain her memories of before she took her last breath, but, whatever happened, she's here now. she's alive. "i'm back, it's okay," octavia assured her softly, hoping to comfort her girl. to replace the brokenheartedness in her deep red eyes. "i'm okay," she repeated, her heart swirling with love as kassy's shifted, bringing her forehead down to octavia's to whisper, "i can finally breathe again."

[deathvisited]

[ wake ] for one muse to wake up to the other at the side of their hospital bed - kass

sebastian had been doing his best, he'd tried again and again to stop her from indulging in her addiction but there was only so much he could do. he couldn't lock her away forever and with callum being unable to say no to her..... they were here again. he sat beside the beside, hands clasped in front of him. he knew she was mad at him, probably hated him, but he'd sent both alec and callum home. they weren't good for her right now, neither of them able to hold their ground quite as well as he could, and hell he even failed. this time had been particularly bad and now.... he bent his head and prayed.

he couldn't lose her, he couldn't deal with the idea of her never waking up again. it was obvious she wasn't able to care about herself enough not to destroy herself and she was so angry with him for being gone. he could completely understand that, to a point, but there was some kind of issue with her not understanding that just because he wasn't here didn't mean he didn't care. he did, far too much, and if he was around he'd thought that it was worse off for her. his life was dangerous and the people he dealt with could hurt her. staying away was better for her, or so he'd thought. he hadn't given her the choice to make the decision for herself and that was wrong, he supposed.

he didn't believe in god but he'd start as long as she got better. they'd said she could have lasting damage from the seizure this time but he had to believe that she'd be fine, that she'd see the seriousness of it this time. he had to.

he had never felt so fucking lost, and when she stirred hours later his eyes were bloodshot from unshed tears, he'd talked to his mom and ted and they were coming because clearly everything he'd been saying hadn't been working and he needed back up. ted was furious at him for letting this happen --- as if kassy wasn't her own person and he could control her completely --- and his mother was beyond worried. "hey," he whispered, his voice quiet as her eyes fluttered open and he sucked in a breath. confusion coated her expression and as he held his breath he hoped for her to yell at him. "where am i?" the words were softly spoken and her voice hoarse with disuse. he rose to grab her some water coming back with it and a straw before answering. "the hospital," he didn't judge her for her addiction, he was just trying to understand why.

he knew kassy had her own things going on, that she'd indicated she didn't feel happy throughout the years, but he'd never realized she was medicating with pills and blow and now...... he hoped it wasn't too late. "i found you in the bathroom," he murmured. just like he had last time, she'd been sick on herself while she was OD'ing and he'd never been so scared in his life. his kassy was neat and tidy and always well put together but when she got like that..... it was terrifying. "how are you feeling?" was she going to kick him out or let him stay? he hadn't been here when she needed him but he hoped he'd proven he wasn't going anywhere.

@thewholecrew

[defectiveparts]

@thewholecrew asked: i keep forgetting that relationships are supposed to be something you want. meme.

"uh---"

see, the thing is, buck's used to random women coming up to him at bars. it's a thing that happens more than he really cares to admit, especially now that he's out of his buck 1.0 era. he doesn't really do clubs anymore for that reason, doesn't do bars all that often either. he's only here because it had been a really long week and if he didn't drown his feelings in alcohol he was going to do something potentially stupid. when all of his friends had turned up busy, he'd decided to still go. it wasn't like he needed company. he could manage. but, well. sitting alone left him vulnerable. open to attack. he had just thought it'd be something a little bit.. different.

"well, yeah. unless it's a different kind of relationship, which--- to each their own. but. romantic relationships generally should be something that each of the people in it want."

he taps his fingers on the small table, eyes lingering on the woman across from him as he debates. she looks fairly sober, more frustrated than anything, and buck can't help the twinge of remorse he feels for her and the revelation that she's just come to.

"want a drink?" he holds up his empty glass, tilting it from side to side. "i was just about to grab another."

[thewholecrew]

@headstrongblake said: ϟ — [sender] and [receiver] are stuck indoors on a rainy/stormy day / thewholecrew + o&nick ???

this isn't how rev had planned this weekend but they supposed while it could have been better it also could have been worse. the weather man lied, promising a beautiful weekend for them to enjoy at the cabin but yet the sky was dark grey, thunder rolling outside as it poured all day. aside from spending a little time on the shielded porch, the gang had decided to gather around in the living room and play some games the old fashon way. rev plopped down the boardgames on the table, blowing the dust off the top and unintentionally over at kassy and nick. "hey!" kassy coughed, raising her arm as nick shielded her from the cloud that dissolved into the air. "whoops, sorry," they mused with a smirk as alec placed down a couple different card games.

"ooh, it's been a long time since i've played yahtzee!" alec exclaimed as he plopped down on the couch between kassy and octavia, holding a cup of dice for the game. "don't think i've ever played that one," kassy murmured, leaning tucked against nick as she eyed the other games. with the fireplace lit, there was a warm glow that flickered in the living room, the soft crackling of burning wood a soft ambiance that melded with the sound of the rain against the windows and the low rumbling of thunder. this was not what kassy would call an enjoyable weekend away but she was trapped here now and preferred to be inside anyways, keep away from bugs for the most part.

grant leaned closer, his arms around octavia as he peered down with a small smile on his face and perhaps an eager light in his eyes. "we could play snakes and ladders?" he suggested, "or monopoly," he was a fan of chess and checkers and the old battleship game box as well but those games wouldn't allow them all to play together. "not monopoly, that game sucks," rev interjected with a roll of their eyes. it was one of hunters favourite board games when they were kids but rev just found it stupid and boring. "i'm fine with snakes and ladders, or yahtzee," kassy suggested before she sat up a little, "ooh, or uno, that game is sooo fun," she grinned as she picked the card deck up.

with nick suggesting a vote since there seemed to be a couple different options, they ended up deciding on snakes and ladders first, then uno, then yahtzee. "and if anyone wants to after, i'd love to try this puzzle," alec mentioned, pointing to the 1000 piece puzzle of an old I Spy page. kassy chuckled as she reached out to gently ruffle his hair, "maybe, if we're all still friends after uno," she teased.

so, with the snakes and ladders game set up everyone was given their player piece which was an assortment of things since over the years rev had lost the player pieces. one person was rewarded a button, another an acorn, one a broken soldier with no head. the looks they all gave rev as they were handing out the game pieces had them shrug, "what? as if you guys haven't lost a game piece or two in your day," they scoffed. with amused eye rolling and head shakes from the group aside from alec who adored his little flower piece, they began to play. there wasn't much of a strategy for the game since it was mostly luck but that luck was not on rev or nicks side. the two getting nearly every snake while grant, octavia and alec seemed to breeze through.

frowning deeply as rev went up a small ladder only to immediately go down another snake and start at the beginning again with nick, they groaned. "this is ridiculous!" they grumbled in outrage which had the girls on the couch laugh. "oh you think it's so funny," rev muttered, "well at least i don't have a spider on me," they countered, pointing to kassy who's eyes widened suddenly as she screamed, hands swiping at her shoulder as she practically launched herself into nicks lap, foot accidentally kicking the board game off the coffee table. alec and octavia also shifted away with gasps in surprise only for rev to then start killing themself laughing. they fell back where they sat on the floor as they laughed, "you should have seen your face! overreaction much?"

grant did his best to bite back an amused smile at it all despite the fact that he had been winning and now the game and all its pieces were scattered on the floor. kassy huffed in her own outrage, grabbing a pillow before launching it at rev. "you jackass!" kassy hissed from where she was curled in nicks lap, watching as rev caught the pillow to put behind their head as they continued laughing. she then felt the rumbled chuckle from nick and turned to him with a pout, "hey, don't you laugh at me too!" she huffed, poking at his chest despite the smile growing on her lips.

soft laughter from them all echoed through the cabin then as she shook her head, "well no wonder you lose all the pieces," she muttered as alec and grant had started cleaning up. "oh shut up, you're the one who kicked everything off the table," they countered with a snicker. kassy stuck her tongue out at rev before she rose from nicks lap, checking herself for a spider still yet in a mildly calmer fashion before she looked back at the couch. when it was finally deemed safe, she sat back down as she snagged the uno deck, "it's fine, but we're moving on." she decided. grant frowned hearing that as he finally set up the last piece where it had been. "we're done with snakes and ladders?" he asked only for rev and kassy to both say yes in unison. brows lifted as he leaned in to murmur to octavia, "are they always like this?"

[headstrongblake]

❝  i’m staying.  end of discussion.  you gotta learn to let people take care of you.  ❞ / kass to nick?? / @thewholecrew​

      “ kass, you need to go. ” he hadn’t let her in, but the door to his apartment is never locked. at least not this one. it’s barely his home and now...the only real home he’d ever known is gone. all burnt to ash along with everything inside. along with the friendship he had with grant. i’m staying, end of discussion.

     he knows why she’s here. she’d barely convinced him not to go deep into the fire when it had happened and now, he’s sure octavia’s gone off and told her best friend about the altercation between the three men. “ god, kassy, i’m really tryin’ here. ”  he says, leaning his forehead into his tightly intertwined fingers as he sat at the table in his dining room. nick can’t breathe past his rage. can’t focus. can’t control himself as evident by the bleeding knuckles from where he drove his anger into the fist he wielded at grant. no, the last person that needs to be around him right now is kassy. 

     you gotta learn to let people take care of you. there’s no reason to it, beyond his own inability to compartmentalize but something inside the comforting words kassy says, he snaps. “ kassy, stop! ” the chair nearly knocks over with force as he stood, swiping the files and clutter off the table with a crash as they landed around him. nick shakes his head, looking down at the mess before his gaze turns to kassy.  “ please, go. ”

[deathvisited]

“   am i the one who did this to you ??   ” /kass & brae --- @thewholecrew

the last thing he'd ever expected to get was a phone call from sebastian morrow and when it'd lit up his phone at 3 in the afternoon he had been honestly shocked. he'd stared it for long enough that it'd almost went to voicemail before he'd picked it up. he'd answered it though and what he'd heard had honestly worried him. it had been a long time since he'd seen the man, that fateful morning where he'd ruined everything because he'd gotten scared and overreacted to alec and sebastians hook up. he sucked in a breath now though as he stood outside the hospital room his heart beating out of his chest.

he didn't even know if he should be here.

he didn't know if he should go in. he stood there far far longer than he should have, to the point that the nurses asked if he was lost. he pushed into the room quietly and almost stopped halfway in. was it even appropriate to be here? he didn't know. he did know that he was worried and scared for her. he'd grown up looking after his mother and her own addiction, he'd been a father to his little sister and now...

"kassy?" his voice was quiet and soft as he finally stepped into the room, his words hesitant and nervous. they'd decided to cool things off after he hadn't been able to quite accept sebastians treatment of alec, because while he could understand alecs devotion and love for kassy and the things they did he understood that she'd always make sure alec was safe. he trusted alec to keep himself safe, but having seen the morning after he didn't know if he understood just how sebastian could keep alec safe, especially with how he'd treated him in the past... but how could he not come? how could he not check in to see if she was okay? he was terrified seeing her hooked up to the machines and batteries monitoring her vitals as he stepped closer, his eyes running over her wan features. she looked washed out and sick, something he'd seen before but never quite this badly.

he always knew she'd partied but.... had he done this to her? had his leaving caused some of this pain that had driven her to an addiction? he hoped not, and he knew realistically that it wasn't just his leaving, it had to be a mixture of things but.... he went to her bedside taking her hand gently in his own and carefully in order to not mess with the IV hook up. fluids he could see from reading the bag, his thumb running over the back of her knuckles as his dark eyes filled with a burning sensation of tears. her lashes fluttered against her cheekbones and when her eyes opened he'd never seen someone so beautiful, his breath caught in his chest as he looked down at her, giving a small soft smile. "braelyn?" her voice was full of disbelief and he froze. "hey.... i heard what happened, i ... i needed to check on you, i tried to respect your wishes and stay away but.... kassy are you okay?"

[deathvisited]

if you had to choose between grant and kassy in a life or death situation who would you choose? - to sebastian

Sebastian would save Kassy, for a couple of reasons honestly. The first reason and honestly the most important one is likely that she'd have no hope of saving herself. Grant could, realistically, probably save himself from most situations, whereas Kassy absolutely could not. But he'd also go to her because a world without kassy in it is a world he wouldn't be able to live in. i think sebastian takes kassy being in his life for granted a lot of the time and while that's unfair this would be a stark reminder that he needs her. sebastian thinks about kassy constantly, when he's out about doing his daily things he sees things and they remind him of her. she's the best and truest friend he's ever had, or will ever have and if he lost her he'd lose a large chunk of himself. i think it's why in verses where even if theyre more distant and don't see one another a lot she's always in the top of his mind. he thinks of his best friend quite literally all the time and he'd absolutely %100 choose her. he'd feel torn, but he wouldn't be able to continue on living if she wasn't also breathing.

@thewholecrew

[headstrongblake]

patch, sender patches up receiver's wounds. / hunter & octavia / @thewholecrew​

     now that nicklas’ chaos had died down, with him elsewhere in the bar with kassy, unable to watch hunter work on her, octavia settled in the clubhouse. she tries her best to feel safer. this is somewhere safe. somewhere no one will hurt her. there’s something soft that she rests her cheek against, with arms tucked underneath while she laid on her stomach on the pool table. a pillow maybe, or someone’s hoodie. none of it really registers properly, nor does it matter as she fights to stay awake per hunter’s orders despite the throbbing in her temple she groans to him about, or the way nick’s frantic voice had felt like tiny daggers in her brain. he works to remove the glass shards from her back, causing her to moan and suck in deep breaths at the stinging sensation. 

    the room continues to sway the way it has since she felt transported back inside her body while nick lifted her up off the floor of her apartment. & when hunter comes around to the front of her, crouching to be at her eye level, watching his body sway sends overwhelming nausea through her. “ sick... ” she mumbled, arms leaving from underneath her head as she struggled against the pain and dizziness to try to push herself up. with hunter’s help, before she has a chance to explain anything else, she sits up a little while a small bucket is set in her shaking hands. copper tasting saliva fills her mouth as she spits into the bucket, but eventually, no stomach contents come forward and she puts the bucket to the side before trying to lay down again. 

     except a gentle touch from hunter around her arm sends fear and shock through her, stopping her from laying. “ don’t! ” she unintentionally panics, eyes widening the best they could at him. his hand leaves her, but quietly he spoke, not yet, octavia, soon you can sleep. hot tears spill down her cheeks, though she doesn’t realize it as she shakes her head at hunter. she wants to sleep now. wants to wake up to this being a terrible nightmare instead. wants nick and kassy. she wants grant here now. but more than anything, she wants her brother. god, she wants bellamy to be here the most. what’s your name? brows furrowed as she tried to focus on hunter’s burry figure, scoffing lightly. humour me, what’s your name. “ octavia...octavia blake. ” she grumbled to which he nodded, continuing his job at sealing the gash above her eyebrow with butterfly bandages. 

[headstrongblake]

      it’s in a dreamless sleep that octavia suddenly feels like she’s being transported through to a horror movie. at first when rough hands clamp around her ankles and down on her mouth, octavia swears it’s a nightmare. she’s had vivid ones. ones that cause her own hands to claw at her throat to remove her mother’s hands. but it’s different as terrified hues snap open to an unfamiliar man with a dragon tattoo. the second the terror truly registers, her need to fight kicks in, flailing her legs to try to be free from whoever restrains her as she shouts, “ stop! stop! who are you, get your hands off of me!! ” against the hand. neither do much to work, only earning her a jarring strike across the face before the hands at the bottom of her bed drag her free from her soft covers.

     her head hits the floor with a thunk, but quickly she tries to roll onto her side, reaching for the underside of her bed to at least gain some level on control. get her! a voice shouted though octavia expected hands to leave her ankles. but there’s too many of them. more than she could see in her sleepy daze. instead, another figure in the dark comes towards her, painfully kicking at her side. octavia let out an anguished scream, hand immediately recoiling from the bed to her side as the hands around her legs resume dragging her from her room. 

    from there time nearly freezes for octavia. her nails break as she tries to use the doorframe of her room to hold herself in place, but the man with the dragon tattoo keeps calling out orders directing the other two to control her. she’s a fucking girl, what is the matter with you two? he leaned over her, peering into her eyes as he pried her fingers from around the doorframe. it’ll all be over soon he told her just as he got a tiny bit closer to her, octavia defiantly spit in his face before wildly throwing fists and scratching what flesh she could. “ go to hell! ” that’s the last moment she saw his face so close to hers as a fist of fury came towards her eyes before she woke again in the living room. 

   the three dark figures moved around the apartment, tossing it and filing in and out of the different rooms. for a moment, she’s left alone, already bleeding and beaten as eyes barely open. your stomach not tough enough for this? get over it. she’s a job worth two g’s. octavia quietly moaned as she shifted her head, trying to see where her assailants were now that they’d stopped attacking her. boss wants viktor’s family in that grave next to him, these two are all that’s left and the oldest is still alive behind bars. let’s get her done, and get out. it was hard to hear every word through the ringing of her ears, but octavia heard enough. she had to get up. had to move if she wanted to survive. fingers dug into the carpet in the living room, forcing every painful move as octavia worked to stand in the dark. 

   look who’s awake. battered features watched two of the men come back down the hall towards her as her hands balled into fists, breaths ragged but ready to fight again as the men circled her. you don’t wanna quit do ya? her head tilted, eyes shifting away from her exit to watch the man with piercing eyes come towards her. he went for her, reaching for her and with what energy octavia had she unsteadily moved out of his reach before delivering a blow to the edge of his jaw. but as she went to attack again, her arm was pulled back behind her, throwing her through a glass side table. “ agh!! ” octavia groaned, eyes clamping shut against the pain as glass splintered and shattered around her. but she forces her eyes back open, slowly shifting off the glass as she crawled on her hands and knees. 

     this would be over faster if you just stayed down. another ruthless kick to her stomach sends her collapsing against the hardwood floor. her forehead shifts against the cool floor, blood mixing with saliva as it drips from her mouth. “ stop..please, stop... ” she mumbled weakly but the thundering footsteps moved closer to her as the beating continued. for hours it seemed like the pain doubled as they delivered blow after blow, all of it octavia convinced herself she could live through. but as the man with the dragon tattoo finally ordered his other men to grab what they could and split while his hands tightly wrapped around her throat, there wasn’t enough life left in octavia to fight him off. 

    it isn’t until a warm embrace scoops her closer with too much ease, her body limp like a rag doll that she realizes she’s still alive.. as if she’s trapped inside with no control over what’s happening. her name, along with kassy voice all sound muffled. like she’s a thousand meters below water. but then comes nicklas’. his sounding closer and closer until eyelids begin fluttering. “ kass, ” the name’s squeezed out, octavia’s voice horse. “ kassy? ” eyes slowly start to open, searching despite the blur, and her swollen features for her friend. she shouldn’t be here. shouldn’t have to see her like this. “ kass... ” octavia’s voice sounds more desperate now, the pain beginning to flood back in.

                     / @thewholecrew a drabble you & your kids probably didn’t want.

[headstrongblake]

spot to kiss + a kiss on the back of the neck  / kassy & octavia / @thewholecrew​

    cheeks and body flushed, octavia’s at the perfect rate of drunkness right now. at least lately. happy enough as she’s snuggled into her cozy bed with blankets covering both girls. she’s sure there will be some extra whining from nick tomorrow. after all, he’d gotten them both back to her apartment at this ungodly hour he’ll say. but, as octavia cuddled closer to her best friend, finger tips tracing shapes on kassy’s arm secured around her, she didn’t care. 

      “ i don’t think there’s another person who’s better suited for me, ” she says, tripping over her words a little in the quiet room. “ you’re it, kass. you’re my best friend. ” octavia declares proudly to kassy’s bouts of shhhhs & go to sleep. she giggles at little, too drunk to deeply analyze the idea that in a lot of ways, kassy feels like the only person she truly has. 

    octavia sighs contently, eyelashes fluttering closed as she feels her best friend pressing a gentle kiss to the back of her neck while they laid in bed. “ yeah, ” she mumbles tiredly, finger tips slowing their trace against kassy’s skin as she drifts off to sleep. “ you’re it... ”

[headstrongblake]

you are worthy of love, you know / kassy / @thewholecrew​

      “ i like that you think that. ” nicklas admits as he lifts the bottle to his lips again. though he doesn’t sit here to argue with her. she doesn’t need his list of reasons that prove her statement untrue. instead, for a moment. he basks in the thought of it. in the way kassy must see him to think he was worthy of any love. 

     but his thoughts cannot remain there long. replaced with the ever drowning guilt as the burning liquor goes down again. he’s ruined every bit of what he’s loved. time and time again, there have been opportunities to rise to the occasion. be this person others around him, much like kassy, have believed him to be. but he’d be in love. had been loved in an all consuming way. and in the end, it’d been cruel. painful. & now, to him, pointless. it was better this way. to keep a wall between that life and this. it kept people safe, and him eternally paying for his crimes. 

[headstrongblake]

“Are you about to get evicted?!” - kassy / @thewholecrew​

       octavia puts on her best smile, rolling her eyes as she takes the eviction notice from kassy’s fingers, tossing it towards the trash. “ no, they’re bluffing, i paid late last month and then i don’t know, there were so many parties with chase this weekend...it kind of slipped my mind, ”  octavia shrugged, hopping up onto the counter with a box of cereal. it’s not unbelievable, she’s been fucked up a lot more lately and truthfully, she had kind of forgotten that rent was due on friday because of chase’s party. but the real truth is, nick’s help doesn’t cut it for everything anymore. neither does the clubs. ever since bell got locked up and it was made clear by the blakes that this time, octavia wasn’t going to get lost in some system, they’ve helped. the deal was she’d stay in their home, stay in her school, and basically become a ward of the gang. not the most practical of choices but they’ve helped her whenever she’s needed since bellamy’s arrest. 

     but octavia’s older now. rent has increased, food prices are wild & now that she’s driving bell’s truck around instead of bussing, there’s insurance, and gas, and all these expenses that octavia hadn’t really accounted for. plus her habits. and sure, she could make cuts. the oxy is more expensive than the coke after all, and a home is more important but, the pills are what help get her through. 

     “ chill out, kass, i’m good, you’d know if i wasn’t. ” she said, tossing a couple pieces of lucky charms at her best friend with a smirk on her face. “ i’ll get it sorted out. ” if worse came, she’d talk atom into letting her do a couple sales to make up the difference. anything to avoid telling nick she’d spent a little more of the rent money he’d given her than she intended.

[headstrongblake]

❛  let's go outside and dance in the rain.  ❜ - kassy / @thewholecrew​

      this stupid fashion show was supposed to be fun and a great way to raise funds for more celebrations throughout their senior year. it’s supposed to be a night filled with over the top dresses and suits. glitz and glam all around. it’s supposed to be fun, and yet, somehow it’s created more drama than octavia can even comprehend. half their senior class is feuding with each other now & the principal is threatening to cancel their prom all while octavia just stands near the exit to the gym, ready to dash out with kassy in tow at any second. liv and asher are arguing in the corner, chase’s music plays loudly over the crowd. nick and grant had been around somewhere to support the fundraiser, but even they seems to be missing as emerald hues gaze around. 

      a soft breath of relief comes forth when she spots kassy, beautiful and bold in her choice of gown for the evening.  “ thank god, kass, who knew our class had so much drama. ”  her smirk grows because for once, octavia’s not at the centre of it all. let’s go outside and dance in the rain. octavia’s head whipped towards kassy, brow lifting as she gave her best friend an ‘are you out of your mind look.’ 

      “ kass, these aren’t even ours...? ” octavia started, glancing down at the tight red dress she was wearing with matching heels that were much too tall and killing her feet. but without anymore thoughts to give, octavia’s pulled along by kassy, giggling along as they exit the gym into the downpour of rain outside. the water drops hit octavia, chilling her body to the core but also igniting her sense of fun. octavia quickly bent down to undo the strappy shoes, kicking them off as soon as she could before she ran full force into the middle of the football field laughing. “ kassy come here! ” octavia squealed, hands stretched out for kassy with features bright. octavia spun around in her bare feet, dress and hair soaking now. it wasn’t long before alec, liv and rev were joining the pair outside. then some of liv’s other friends followed by nick and grant grumbling. octavia stood underneath the bright lights, smiling as her friends came out into the rain, washing away the ruined fundraiser.

[headstrongblake]

❝  thank you for staying.  it just gets so lonely at night sometimes.  ❞ / kass to o / @thewholecrew​

      “ girl, anything you need, you know you can always call us. ” octavia says, nudging kassy on the couch beside her before popping a handful of popcorn into her mouth. if octavia’s honest, sometimes being with kassy and her friends, feels a lot more like home than being in the blake apartment with bell. it’s not that she’s trying to find reasons to not be home, it’s just that, well, these people have been at octavia’s side, seeing every stage she’d gone through in high school. they’re her family & so when kassy suggested octavia spend the night in her new place ( something octavia would never stop telling kassy how proud she was of her for ), octavia had zero hesitation. how many times had kassy spent the night with octavia to fend of both of their loneliness? besides, the group was in serious need of a movie night since graduation.

“ i like the place kass, you did good here. ” she says, nodding as eyes wandered off their movie to the surrounding area. it’s not big but it’s all kassy’s. “ you did it, you know that right? ” octavia asked, head rolling towards kassy with a proud smile. “ like the rest of our friends are going to move into a college dorm, or commute to ark community college from their parents place, not you though. you should be proud. ”

[headstrongblake]

❛   downfall .   find  my  muse  collapsed  on  the  ground . / kassy / @thewholecrew​

there’s nothing but darkness. a place where the hits and the fight no longer hurt. just nothingness. then her parents. her brother. images of them together, happy like their family should have been all along. a warm embrace scoops her closer with too much ease, her body limp like a rag doll. as if she’s trapped inside with no control over what’s happening. her name, along with kassy voice all sound muffled. like she’s a thousand meters below water. but then comes nicklas’. his sounding closer and closer until eyelids begin fluttering. 

no, stop. no, please take her back to her brother. back to the place where it all felt better. if she doesn’t say anything, will they leave her to die? it might be better that way, octavia’s always the problem. she’s the train wreck that leaves herself in these vulnerable positions— though having big brother at her side kept her straight. without him, she’s too much like mom. but it wasn’t her drugs, wasn’t her attitude, or her out of control mouth that had people waiting in the blake apartment when she arrived late last night. you tell your brother to kill this deal with the devil deciples or we come back and do this again. that’s the last thing octavia heard before eyelids shut. guess nobody had told them about bell’s jail time. 

“ mmm, kass, ” the name’s squeezed out, octavia’s voice horse. “ kassy? ” eyes slowly start to open, searching despite the blur, and her swollen features for her friend. she shouldn’t be here. shouldn’t have to see her like this. “ kass... ” octavia’s voice sounds more desperate now, the pain beginning to flood back in. 

[headstrongblake]

@thewholecrew: i think you enjoy hurting my feelings. / bell & o said playfully

thank god octavia had brought her best friend along to save her brother from his fashion emergency. going around and around with him had surpassed her patience, but luckily kassy had experience in the area. o could remember a time when nick didn't walk around as stylish and put together as he did now. but as it sat, octavia would've sworn her brother had never dressed himself in anything outside of a pair of jeans, a couple shirts and his club cut. which, now that she thought about it as kassy playfully rubbed the tension from her shoulders, was probably true. what use did her big brother have for nice clothes when he'd spent so many years locked inside a prison?

octavia aimlessly scrolled through her instagram feed, lifting the phone to show kassy the cute outfits until her brother made another appearance from his room, showing her the other outfit he'd pulled from his closet for this date he had. god, her brother, on a date. it made her giggle and feel warm that he was chasing happiness. even if there was a twinge of jealousy that he was spending time with anyone but her at times. "ugh, bell, c'mon what vibe are you going for because this..." octavia twirled her finger around, gesturing to his entire appearance, "it's not it, tell me how that outfit screams date to you? kass, would yooou be impressed if he walked in as your date, ooooor would you think he's retired?" she asked, lulling her head towards her bestie, watching kassy's face scrunch before she offered a few more, gentler suggestions. when bellamy looked at her a little blankly, octavia smirked as her best friend told him to go sit with her, and she'd return with a new outfit to try.

"told you, kassy knows." octavia beamed with a raised brow as her brother settled beside her, nudging her with his shoulder. i think you enjoy hurting my feelings. a light scoff left her lips as octavia looked to bellamy, rolling her eyes. "i think you don't know how to not dress like a biker or a lumber jack," she teased with a lighthearted shrug. "look don't sweat it, okay? have a drink, get me one too, kassy'll make you look amazing and hey...this girl already agreed to go out with you, and that was before we had the chance to work our magic," octavia's smirk grew, happy to witness this all out normal moment her brother finally got to have. he deserved it. deserves this. "you know you're going to have fun tonight, right? and that it's going to be fine." she encouraged gently, reaching to trace his wrist tattoo in an act of comfort.