#also o not remembering nick killed grant and her right away. not remembering the gun shot wound on the back of her neck.

[headstrongblake]

@thewholecrew: you're back. i can finally breathe again. / kass & o

it's dreadful in the in-between, a terribly cold grey place that fills octavia with terror every time she dwells on it. before she'd even know that she had died or was immortal, that she was stuck in this place— she blamed the lingering feeling on a nightmare she couldn't remember. that was almost the worst of it. that there was this in-between place her soul went every time she died, and yet, once her heart began to beat again, octavia had no memory of it.

the process is slow. sometimes long and always unpredictable. but eventually, life slowly returns to her body. her skin regaining colour as blood trickled through her veins, feeding vital organs while her heart came alive. it beats slow at first. barely a thump. but before long, her heart regains a steady rhythm, slowly bringing octavia around. the overwhelming dread from the in-between leaves octavia stuttering for breath when she finally wakes somewhere comfy. her vision blurry at first as her lashes flutter against the soft, glowing light. "you're back," kassy's relieved murmur is the first sound octavia hears, alleviating any confusion as her girlfriend's fingers gently stroke her cheek. the corner of her mouth ticks upwards. she's with kassy. of course she's with kassy. instantly, octavia leans into the cool trace of her fingers, hues closing briefly. it's constantly exhausting returning, but she's safe here with kassy.

it isn't until octavia's lungs can fully expand that she opens her eyes again, this time clearly seeing the condo she's shared with kassy, and her beautiful love beside her. she looks a mess. terribly sad as octavia forced her stiff muscles to work, lifting her hand to trail the back of her fingers against kassy's jaw. "kassy." she said tenderly. it always takes some time to regain her memories of before she took her last breath, but, whatever happened, she's here now. she's alive. "i'm back, it's okay," octavia assured her softly, hoping to comfort her girl. to replace the brokenheartedness in her deep red eyes. "i'm okay," she repeated, her heart swirling with love as kassy's shifted, bringing her forehead down to octavia's to whisper, "i can finally breathe again."