i have a reputation among my friends for being the one w the most boring taste in characters and somehow making them seem interesting (sometimes), which is a reputation i carry with pride. but then the boringness will creep up on me and it’s like facing the horror of your own doing.
I mentioned in part 6 of my BD PPT Essay ([6]) about how "the blues" or bipolar depression was something known as a rather big fear for those with bipolar disorder.
This is because BD is Cyclical.
A series of events that happen again and again and again.
The episodes may come on at any point, any where, randomly, and or for no reason whatsoever. But they **WILL** come.
Even if you're medicated it doesn't 100% guarantee you won't still end up having episodes here and there. That's just how it is, and all you can do is your best to hunker-down and weather the storm.
(This is also why I really like THIS video.)
I think it does a magnificent job of showing bipolar as it is --
Ups and downs.
The moments (like in the picture above) where Ian looks so joyous and happy, I bet anyone would think:
"**This** guy can get so depressed he doesn't get out of bed? He isn't able to shower or function? He gets suicidal?"
And the answer is: YES.
One moment you can be happy and normal but (like a light switch, a SUPER sh*tty light switch) it clicks from "balanced" to either "manic / hypomanic" or "depressed"
And when it hits depressed or, literally mania / hypomania?
Everything is out the fvcking window.
There doesn't have to be a reason. Sometimes there is, sometimes there isn't. That's why I think a "light switch" is the perfect metaphor for such switches / mood changes.
Anyways.
My point here --- is that Bipolar is cyclical --- it's a never-ending cycle, and those with it just have to live with it. :/