#☆ ▏✦ This is my SIN for giving in to my own WEAKNESS ✧「 character tag 」

[mxtxfanatic]

Who Killed Wei Wuxian? the Politics of Culpability in MDZS

The title is kind of a misnomer because we know how Wei Wuxian died and we know who is responsible, so let's get those quotes out the way:

“To be honest though, if it weren’t for young Chief Jiang’s knowledge of the Yiling Laozu’s weaknesses, the siege of the Burial Mounds might not have succeeded. Don’t forget what kinds of things Wei Wuxian has at his disposal. Don’t you remember when he annihilated more than 3,000 high level cultivators?”

—Chapt. 1: Rebirth, fanyiyi

[Wei Wuxian] “I have to clarify this. [Jiang Cheng] didn’t kill me. I died because one of my techniques backfired.”

—Chapt. 43: Beauty I, fanyiyi

Wei Wuxian died from the backlash of attempting to destroy the second yin tiger tally while the first siege of the Burial Mounds took place. Jiang Cheng and the rest of the cultivation world is directly responsible for his death, thus are to blame. However, this meta isn't about who we are "meant to" blame for Wei Wuxian's death but about the conversation that the novel has about culpability. Contrary to the bad faith engagement that happens around this topic within the fandom, mxtx actually brings up this culpability problem many times in the novel:

After a moment of silence, Wei Wuxian said, “What else have you heard?” “Jiang Cheng, Clan Chief Jiang, brought people to encircle and besiege the Burial Mounds. He killed you, sir.” “I have to clarify this. He didn’t kill me. I died because one of my techniques backfired.” Wen Ning finally lifted his eyes and looked at him directly. “But, Clan Chief Jiang, he clearly—" “It’s impossible for someone to walk on a lonely, single-log bridge safely and soundly for an entire lifetime. It couldn’t be helped.” Wen Ning seemed to want to sigh, though he had no breath to sigh with.

—Chapt. 43: Beauty I, fanyiyi

Wen Qing waited quietly for him to finish cursing, “And so, you see? There’s no use. With the way things are, the identity of the one who placed the curse of Hundred Holes is no longer important. What’s important is the fact that the hundreds of people at Qiongqi path and... Jin ZiXuan were indeed killed by A-Ning.” Wei WuXian, “... But, but...” But what? He himself didn’t even know what to put after ‘but’. He couldn’t think of a reason to give, an excuse to use. He spoke, “... But even then, I should be the one going. I was the one who made the corpses kill the people. Why would the knife go instead of the murderer?”

—Chapt. 77: Nightfall, exr

Wen Ning says that Jiang Cheng is to blame for Wei Wuxian's death while Wei Wuxian says that it was an inevitability that could only be blamed on the circumstances rather than any individual. The Wen siblings say that Wen Ning is the one who killed Jin Zixuan, but Wei Wuxian argues that he is the one who turned Wen Ning into a weapon, thus absolving Wen Ning of the crime and placing it solely on Wei Wuxian's shoulders as the weapon's wielder. Who's side does the novel take? Well to answer that, let's take a look at another character who has caused many deaths throughout the novel: Jin Guangyao:

Jin GuangYao saw through the worries in his eyes instantly, and became so enraged that he actually started to laugh, “Lan XiChen! All my life, I’ve lied to countless people and have destroyed countless more. Just as you’ve said, murdering my father, my brother, my wife, my son, my master, my friends—There’s not a single sin left in this world that I haven’t committed!”

—Chapt. 108: Concealment Part 2, boat-full-of-lotus-pods

Of all the characters Jin Guangyao lists, he personally, with his own hands, verifiably killed two. Jin Guangshan was raped to death. Qin Su committed suicide. Jin Zixuan was killed in the Qionqi Path ambush. The details of Jin Rusong's death are unknown. Jin Guangyao didn't even personally kill any of the clans the Jin used as experiments nor did he murder the sex workers with his own hands. Only Wen Ruohan and Nie Mingjue were directly killed by Jin Guangyao—the former by being literally stabbed in the back and the latter through poisoning—so why does Jin Guangyao claim responsibility? It's because he planned these death. Without his direct manipulations and explicit intention to kill, none of those characters would have died as they did. Thus, despite not taking a knife to each of them individually, the blood of all of these characters is on Jin Guangyao's hands.

Here's another example:

It had taken the Four Great Sects three full months of recuperation, reorganization and planning before they’d finally become ready to take seize upon Burial Mound in retaliation; at last “exterminating” the last remnants of the Wen Sect along with the deranged Yiling Patriarch himself.

—Chapt. 108: Concealment Part 2, boat-full-of-lotus-pods

Around 3,000 cultivators gathered to kill 50 individuals. Logically, there is no way that 3,000 people literally had a direct hand in killing a few dozen people. However, they all came with the explicit intent to massacre, and they all take pride and credit in having participated in the first siege. Even though not nobody took turns personally smashing Granny Wen's head in, they are each still culpable for her and the other Wen remnants' deaths.

But what about the people who were "only following orders" (the Nuremberg defense, for people who haven't yet released how many of villain stan defenses sound like Nazi arguments) or "didn't mean" their actions? Should they be blamed just for being followers of bad people, whether be it because they genuinely believed in the mastermind's lies or wanted to personally benefit from the chaos? Should they be considered blameless for murderous intent that makes a victim of the "wrong" person? Mdzs addresses that, too:

One of them shouted from afar, “Wei... Wei Ying! If you’re really that strong, why don’t you go find those sect leaders participating in the pledge conference? What could you prove by picking on us low-level cultivators with no power to fight back?” Wei WuXian let out another short whistle. The cultivator who shouted felt as a hand suddenly tugged him down. He fell off the city gate, breaking both of his legs, and began to scream. Amid the wails, Wei WuXian’s expression didn’t change at all, “Low-level cultivators? Do I have to tolerate you, just because you’re low-level cultivators? If you dared say those things, you had to dare shoulder the consequences. If you knew that you were insignificant pieces of scum as filthy as ants, how come you didn’t know to think before you speak?!”

—Chapt. 77: Nightfall, exr

Wei WuXian could tell the arrow tip was originally aiming for his heart, his vital region. Yet, because the archer wasn’t skilled, the force of the arrow tip dwindled by midair to have missed the heart and shot into the ribcage. Everyone around the person who shot the arrow had eyes wide open, staring with shock and even fear at the disciple who had done such a thing. Wei WuXian looked up. Darkness veiled his face. He pulled out the arrow and tossed it back hard. With a wail, the young cultivator who snuck an attack at him was hit right in the chest with the arrow he tossed back! A boy next to him threw himself on top of him, “Brother! Brother!” The sect’s array was immediately thrown into chaos. The sect leader pointed at Wei WuXian with one shaking finger, “You... You... You are so cruel!” With his right hand, Wei WuXian unhurriedly pressed the wound at his chest, temporarily ceasing the blood flow. His voice was indifferent, “What does cruel mean? If he dared shoot the arrow at me when I was off guard, he should’ve known what would be facing him if he failed. They call me the cultivator of the crooked path, anyways, so you can’t possibly count on me to be generous and not bother with him, can you?”

...

Wei WuXian was pushed onto the ground again by the force. The next time he looked up, he saw the gleaming blade of a sword pierce through her throat. The boy holding the sword was the young cultivator who cried over the disciple who had shot the arrow. He was still crying, eyes covered in tears, “You thief! This is for my brother!” Sitting on the dirty ground, Wei WuXian stared with disbelief at Jiang YanLi, whose head had already dipped, blood trickling ceaselessly from her neck. ... The boy finally realized that he killed the wrong person. He pulled out the sword, along with a series of bloody spurts. With fright, he staggered back, mumbling, “... I-It wasn’t me, it wasn’t... I was going to kill Wei WuXian, I was going to avenge my brother... She was the one who threw herself over on her own!”

—Chapt. 78: Nightfall, exr

The cultivators both at Nightless City and those who didn't go choose to provoke Wei Wuxian based on the slander spread by the cultivation clan leaders. Those at Nightless City are gathered specifically to pledge to kill him. However, the moment Wei Wuxian turns his sights on them, then it's "But we're just baby 🥺 why not pick on someone your own size?" Wei Wuxian's response is masterful in that he calls them out for what they are: opportunistic cowards who prey on the weak but fear the strong. They wanted to attack him without consequences, but the moment consequences happened, they wanted to shift responsibility. The clan of the boy who attempted to kill Wei Wuxian is the same, as well as that boy's brother who killed Jiang Yanli. You chose to be here, you chose to participate, so just as you wanted to share in the spoils, you must also share in the responsibility, whether you were able to achieve your goal or not.

Now with all of this context in mind, let's circle back to Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian's convos: who are the killers? In the case of the first siege, the answer is Jiang Cheng... as well as the rest of the cultivation world. While the responsibility may vary in degrees (Jiang Cheng owed a debt to the Wen siblings and Wei Wuxian that the other participants did not), it is still a shared one. In the case of the Qionqi Path ambush, Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning, too, share and accept responsibility despite only one person getting their hands dirty while the other person (subconsciously) gave the orders. Wei Wuxian may have turned Wen Ning into a fierce corpse, but Wen Ning had the consciousness to refuse and chose not to in service of defending the man who saved his family.

Finally, I want to leave on this note: while Jiang Cheng is to blame for Wei Wuxian's death, Wei Wuxian, himself, does not wish to place that blame on his former shidi. One reason is that he acknowledges that his murder was a forgone conclusion—something anyone would have plotted towards, anyways, with or without Jiang Cheng's willing intervention—the moment the cultivation world turned on him as an enemy, and two, because of this:

Suddenly, [Jiang Cheng] said, “I’m sorry.” Wei WuXian froze, then said, “......You don’t have to say sorry.” After everything that had happened between them, it was impossible to tell who was the one most at fault.

—Chapt. 103: A Hatred for Life Part 6, boat-full-of-lotus-pods

There is so much bad blood between these two that to weigh their transgressions against each other—particularly in the wake of the golden core transfer reveal—would be petty and diminish them both as people. Wei Wuxian gave up his golden core for the man who later willingly and gleefully plotted his murder, but Jiang Cheng lost his only friend, his sister, and his reputation over all of those jealousy-clouded decisions. In a way, this entanglement made them both lose, so the best answer is to cut the loss and move on (Wei Wuxian's approach) rather than trying to forcefully maintain the connection of tangled debts at the threat of facing even bigger losses (Jiang Cheng's approach until the climax). There's nothing to be gained from trying to hold Jiang Cheng accountable for his crimes against Wei Wuxian, so it's best to simply let sleeping dogs lie and for Wei Wuxian to continue to live his life happily no longer tied in any way to the man who led to his death.

[inhonoredglory]

Aziraphale’s Choice, the Job Connection, and Michael Sheen’s Morality

Update: Michael Sheen liked this post on Twitter, so I'm fairly certain there is a lot of validity to it.

I’ve had time to process Aziraphale’s choice at the end of Season 2. And I think only blaming the religious trauma misses something important in Aziraphale’s character. I think what happened was also Aziraphale’s own conscious choice––as a growth from his trauma, in fact. Hear me out.

Since November 2022 I’ve been haunted by something Michael Sheen said at the MCM London Comic Con. At the Q&A, someone asked him about which fantasy creature he enjoyed playing most and Michael (bless him, truly) veered on a tangent about angels and goodness and how, specifically,

We as a society tend to sort of undervalue goodness. It’s sort of seen as sort of somehow weak and a bit nimby and “oh it’s nice.” And I think to be good takes enormous reserves of courage and stamina. I mean, you have to look the dark in the face to be truly good and to be truly of the light…. The idea that goodness is somehow lesser and less interesting and not as kind of muscular and as passionate and as fierce as evil somehow and darkness, I think is nonsense. The idea of being able to portray an angel, a being of love. I love seeing the things people have put online about angels being ferocious creatures, and I love that. I think that’s a really good representation of what goodness can be, what it should be, I suppose.

I was looking forward to BAMF!Aziraphale all season long, and I think that’s what we got in the end. Remember Neil said that the Job minisode was important for Aziraphale’s story. Remember how Aziraphale sat on that rock and reconciled to himself that he MUST go to Hell, because he lied and thwarted the will of God. He believed that––truly, honestly, with the faith of a child, but the bravery of a soldier.

Aziraphale, a being of love with more goodness than all of Heaven combined, believed he needed to walk through the Gates of Hell because it was the Right Thing to do. (Like Job, he didn’t understand his sin but believed he needed to sacrifice his happiness to do the Right Thing.)

That’s why we saw Aziraphale as a soldier this season: the bookshop battle, the halo. But yes, the ending as well.

Because Aziraphale never wanted to go to Heaven, and he never wanted to go there without Crowley.

But it was Crowley who taught him that he could, even SHOULD, act when his moral heart told him something was wrong. While Crowley was willing to run away and let the world burn, it was Aziraphale (in that bandstand at the end of the world) who stood his ground and said No. We can make a difference. We can save everyone.

And Aziraphale knew he could not give up the ace up his sleeve (his position as an angel) to talk to God and make them see the truth in his heart.

I was messed up by Ineffable Bureaucracy (Boxfly) getting their happy ending when our Ineffable Husbands didn’t, but I see now that them running away served to prove something to Aziraphale. (And I am fully convinced that Gabriel and Beelzebub saw the example of the Ineffables at the Not-pocalypse and took inspiration from them for choosing to ditch their respective sides)

But my point is that Aziraphale saw them, and in some ways, they looked like him and Crowley. And he saw how Gabriel, the biggest bully in Heaven, was also like him in a way (a being capable of love) and also just a child when he wasn’t influenced by the poison of Heaven. Muriel, too, wasn’t a bad person. The Metatron also seemed to have grown more flexible with his morality (from Aziraphale's perspective). Like Earth, Heaven was shades of (light?) gray.

Aziraphale is too good an angel not to believe in hope. Or forgiveness (something he’s very good at it).

Aziraphale has been scarred by Heaven all his life. But with the cracks in Heaven’s armor (cracks he and Crowley helped create), Aziraphale is seeing something else. A chance to change them. They did terrible things to him, but he is better than them, and because of Crowley, he feels ready to face them.

(Will it work? Can Heaven change, institutionally? Probably not, but I can't blame Aziraphale for trying.)

At the cafe, the Metatron said something big was coming in the Great Plan. Aziraphale knows how trapped he had felt when he didn’t have God’s ear the first time something huge happened in the Big Plan. He can’t take a chance again to risk the world by not having a foot in the door of Heaven. That’s why we saw individual human deaths (or the threat of death) so much more this season: Elspeth, Wee Morag, Job’s children, the 1940s magician. Aziraphale almost killed a child when he couldn’t get through to God, and he’s not going through that again.

“We could make a difference.” We could save everyone.

Remember what Michael Sheen said about courage and doing good––and having to “look the dark in the face to be truly good.” That’s what happened when Aziraphale was willing to go to Hell for his actions. That’s what happened when he decided he had to go to Heaven, where he had been abused and belittled and made to feel small. He decided to willingly go into the Lion’s Den, to face his abusers and his anxiety, to make them better so that they would not try to destroy the world again.

Him, just one angel. He needed Crowley to be there with him, to help him be brave, to ask the questions that Heaven needed to hear, to tell them God was wrong. Crowley is the inspiration that drives Aziraphale’s change, Crowley is the engine that fuels Aziraphale’s courage.

But then Crowley tells him that going to Heaven is stupid. That they don’t need Heaven. And he’s right. Aziraphale knows he’s right.

Aziraphale doesn’t need Heaven; Heaven needs him. They just don’t know how much they need him, or how much humanity needs him there, too. (If everyone who ran for office was corrupt, how can the system change?)

Terry Pratchett (in the Discworld book, Small Gods) is scathing of God, organized religion, and the corrupt people religion empowers, but he is sympathetic to the individual who has real, pure faith and a good heart. In fact, the everyman protagonist of Small Gods is a better person than the god he serves, and in the end, he ends up changing the church to be better, more open-minded, and more humanist than god could ever do alone.

Aziraphale is willing to go to the darkest places to do the Right Thing, and Heaven is no exception. When Crowley says that Heaven is toxic, that’s exactly why Aziraphale knows he needs to go there. “You’re exactly is different from my exactly.”

____

In the aftermath of Trump's election in the US, Brexit happened in 2018. Michael Sheen felt compelled to figure out what was going on in his country after this shock. But he was living in Los Angeles with Sarah Silverman at the time, and she also wanted to become more politically active in the US.

Sheen: “I felt a responsibility to do something, but it [meant] coming back [to Britain] – which was difficult for us, because we were very important to each other. But we both acknowledge that each of us had to do what we needed to do.” In the end, they split up and Michael moved back to the UK.

Sometimes doing the Right Thing means sacrificing your own happiness. Sometimes it means going to Hell. Sometimes it means going to Heaven. Sometimes it means losing a relationship.

And that’s why what happened in the end was so difficult for Aziraphale. Because he loves Crowley desperately. He wants to be together. He wanted that kiss for thousands of years. He knows that taking command of Heaven means they would never again have to bow to the demands of a God they couldn’t understand, or run from a Hell who still came after them. They could change the rules of the game.

And he’s still going to do that. But it hurts him that he has to do that alone.

[autistichalsin]

Analysis of each character's final words in the new Dark Urge evil ending

If you are romanced to a character, you have the option, when taking the new version of the Sins of the Father ending, to kill your partner in front of the others in your party, killing them with one last kiss. They then give their last words and pass away. I love each and every one and feel they are incredible characterization moments.

So let's break these down!

Lae'zel:

I... I am glad it was you. No other blade would have sufficed.

This is something that hammers home that, Vlaakith or no, Lae'zel deeply believes in all the ideals of a Githyanki. Life is a privilege for the strong, and death is the price of weakness. Further, if romanced, Lae'zel will affectionately call you "the source of my bruises" many times. If she has to die, if she has finally found the one person stronger than herself, then she is "satisfied" that it is you- who she both loved and admired. The only one she would ever consider worthy of besting her.

Karlach:

Fuck you.

Short, simple, and to the point, just the way Karlach does everything else. She's already gone through all her stages of grief with her engine- well, almost all of them. Anger still remains. She burns hot until the end.

Wyll:

I... I forgive you.

This isn't just Wyll being a good guy. This is heartbreak, and guilt. Guilt for not saving you from Bhaal's influence when he was so sure he had. Heartbreak that after he gave his literal soul to save as many people as he could, he couldn't save you- and couldn't save others from you, either. All he sacrificed, negated in an instant by the person he loved and trusted most. Of all the characters here, Wyll (tied with Halsin) sounds the most obviously broken, and it's easy to see why, given that he is self-sacrificing to a fault.

There was a set of scenes datamined from the game, where at the Morphic Pool, the Netherbrain would have taunted the players, causing them to hallucinate things related to their fears and insecurities. Wyll's would have been a vision of himself talking about how he was never a hero, how the Blade of Frontiers was a farce all along. One can't help but think about that scene here, wondering just how much blame, bordering on self-loathing, he might feel here.

Dark Justiciar Shadowheart:

I... I'm coming to you, Lady Shar.

Another short and simple one. By becoming a Dark Justiciar, Shadowheart has fully embraced the nihilism of Shar's teachings. Why be saddened or angry at her own death when this is just what she's embraced with all her sacrifices?

(Sidenote: this does also answer a question I had, namely, what was going to happen to everyone Durge kills. Thankfully it seems they aren't actually going to be sacrificed to him as such, and will indeed end up in the realm of their deities. This makes Bhaal's plan even DUMBER, because deities in DND lore need worshippers to have enough power to exist. Killing everyone at once just guarantees that soon after Durge dies as the last person alive, so too will Bhaal fade from existence.)

Selunite Shadowheart:

I... I thought we were going to save each other...

This Shadowheart rejected everything she knew. She was scared to defy her goddess, but worked up the courage- thanks to you. She thought you would have a new life together. She believed in you. She thought she would get to return the favor, and help you turn the page on Bhaal, too.

She's not just heartbroken for herself; she's heartbroken for you, too. Heartbroken at the life you denied both her and yourself.

Gale:

You made me want to live...

From the moment the orb entered Gale's chest, he knew he was at risk of dying. Then Mystra all but marked him as a dead man walking. But despite that, he finds love with you- and for the first time thinks maybe there is a purpose for him beyond Mystra. That he isn't more useful to the world dead. More than that, he wants to live to be with you, to enjoy your company and companionship. And then you kill him, and do the one thing WORSE than what would have happened if he'd never been pulled from that rock.

It almost would have been kinder to just hack his hand off the first time you met him, though Gale may or may not agree.

Spawn Astarion:

I should have killed you when I had the chance...

The angriest, most bitter response out of all the romanced companions, a step beyond Karlach's "fuck you." This is beyond "fuck you" and even beyond "I hate you." It's "I regret every moment I spent with you." You made him believe he could have better. That he could recover from what Cazador did. You even convinced him to spare the 7,000 spawn and that he could be something better than Cazador.

And now you reveal it was all a lie. Astarion is probably thinking that you talked him out of completing the ritual solely so he'd be easier to kill right here and now. How many regrets are flashing through his mind, how many moments where he wonders if things could have been different if only he'd done this or that, even aside from killing you?

All he wanted was to live as a free person. And then the first time he thinks he has that at last, he loses it as the world ends.

Ascended Astarion:

No... no, this can't be... I can't- you can't- no...

In contrast to spawn Astarion, ascended isn't angry, because he doesn't have the clarity, the ability to process what's happening. Spawn Astarion could tell he'd been betrayed.

But Ascended? Ascended, who went through so much to become one of the most powerful beings in the world, only to STILL lose without fanfare? And by you, his own spawn who he thought he had under his control? It isn't betrayal, because he is bluescreening; he can't comprehend what happened or how or why. How could he have been killed, and by you of all people? Was all he went through killing Cazador really for nothing? How could it be when he was supposed to be the most powerful? Was power actually meaningless all along?

He doesn't say anything of substance because he can't understand what's happening here.

Halsin:

Thaniel... goodbye...

Halsin is the oldest of all the companions. He's experienced the most loss of anyone; his birth family, his fellow Druids, and, for a time, Thaniel. He has had more than enough time to contemplate his own mortality, because he's already lived multiple lifetimes.

So here, two things are happening. One, he isn't expressing anger or betrayal at his murder- because he is more than wise enough, and humble enough, to understand that there are worse things than what has been done to himself. Instead of himself, he is thinking of the world he's leaving behind that is about to fall- and most of all, of his most important person, the one who gave him a purpose, who was there when no one else was, who he failed once and only just got back. The closest thing to a child he'll ever have. In his last moments, instead of himself, Halsin is thinking of those he loves.

And second, it's an almost deliberate snubbing of Durge. He willingly walked into that kiss, knowing full well it would be the last thing he ever did. He gave you his death, he pleaded with his own god to forgive you and him both. He gave you everything he felt he owed you, and no more- no begging or sobbing. Instead, he comes as close as he ever gets to selfishness, and spends his last moments thinking about the thing that makes him the happiest- which could have been you, in another life, if you hadn't done this.

Minthara:

No... we were meant to do this together...

Heartbreak, disbelief, and betrayal. You spent so many nights planning this out. She had been cast aside by her people, her goddess, and she was going to get the last laugh. She was going to crush them personally under her heel and prove she was the best (or second best, behind you) of all of them. She's devastated she won't get to help you torture all those souls and take what she feels was owed to her. But interestingly enough... no anger. Probably because it was overshadowed by the sheer heartbreak, but also a sign that even in those moments, she still admires you for your ruthlessness.

[vampiredaisiesss]

vice | homelander x reader

noun

a weakness of character or behaviour; a bad habit.

tw: gaslighting, homelander giving oral, p in v sex, homelander is a manipulative bitch, dubious consent.

"I let my anger get best of me, okay?" he says softly, still supporting that puppy dog look in his eyes. "I shouldn't have lasered that poor guy."

But you've known him for so long, You can see past his bullshit anytime. That's why you cross your arms over your chest and keep yourself mum. You were not going to give in to him today.

He takes a calculated step forward. Gloved hands reach for the hem of your dress, playing with it like a child played with the edge of its mother's dress. But there's nothing pure about it.

Every touch of his drips with sin. A venom that must have infiltrated your heart for you continue to love him despite all he is.

Suddenly, he's on his knees in front of you. The caped crusader makes sure your eyes stay locked to his ocean ones throughout. His hands continue bunching up the edge of your dress. You let out a exasperated sigh, your own reaching out to get his off.

"John, stop," It's too late. His lips press to the inside of your thigh, right above your knee where he knows you are sensitive. "What are y-"

He sinks his teeth in the supple flesh, letting a moan drag out of your throat. Then lays his tongue flat against the bite mark, enclosing it using his lips. He starts to suction around it, only leaving your skin to continue his ministrations upwards.

He's so close to where you always need him the most. So close it makes something inside your belly liquify into a warm, wet puddle.

"John, please..." you sound uncertain. are you begging him to continue or begging him to stop? even though you intended for the latter, your voice comes out as a manifestation of the former. "Please, stop."

You grab a handful of his hair as he nears your core, paying your words no heed. He looks up, piercing blue eyes boring into yours, and licks a long strip up your slit.

A groan escapes his mouth, his hold on your thighs prying them further apart. You have to lean back on the wall to keep your upper half upright as he lifts both your legs on either side of his shoulders.

At your refusal towards a response, something in his gaze turns. Desperation becomes laced with arrogance and the fine line between the two starts to shrivel.

His red gloved fingers start painting your skin possessively red.

"You have America's greatest superhero on his knees for you, ravishing your sweet cunt night after night," he growled, lips attaching to your clit in circles. "And you continue being a bitch about some godforsaken piece of shit that probably would've taken advantage of you, if I hadn't intervened."

Your mouth is opened in permanent gasp. No noise comes out of it. He has successfully shut you up, and he knows it by how well your body is reacting you him.

Your hands pull at his hair with every brush of his tongue, thighs clenching around his head in a vice like grip.

"What more do you want, huh, before you stop being an ungrateful little brat?" his voice comes muffled from your thighs.

He has this ability of unhinging his jaw like a snake, devouring you whole. He torments your clit with fast, but light strokes, dragging it down to thrust it inside of you. When his lips aren't attached to your bud, his nose fills the role, and you buck your hips desperately to feel yourself rub deliciously against the length of it.

White hot lava is flooding through your veins. You feel it consuming you alive.

His fingers replace his tongue inside of you. He has a habit of keeping his gloves on when he has a point to prove. And they help him prove it. The rubber makes his already thick fingers thicker. It gifts his already impressive skills friction. Pleasure collides with pain in your belly, pulling you over the edge, into a harsh undercurrent.

And it gives him power over you. The only power he has always had.

America's greatest superhero fucks you like it can save him from drowning. He keeps your whole weight effortlessly pinned to the wall, hips meeting yours at a bruising pace. His hair is a mess, his face covered in you. When he shoves his tongue into your mouth, he wants you to taste yourself on his tongue.

He's the perfect specimen, right down to what's between his legs. He's thick and long with a curved tip that hits all your sweet spots. When he's inside you, it's like a drug. He washes over you with a certainty that dulls everything else.

He moulds you to his will.

"John, I'm sorry," You breathe out in the crook of his neck, hands gripping his shoulder like you'd fall without him. "I'm so sorry."

"Shh. It's okay, sweetheart. You're okay," he coos at you, holding you tighter against his body. His left hand cradles your head while he pounds you harder into the wall.

You can feel the cracks forming on the wall where his hand is placed at your side. His thrusts are becoming more frantic. "You fe..feel so, so good, baby," he whisper against your ear. "Made just for me."

Within seconds, he's finishing inside you with a loud growl. His hips tremor slightly as his head tips back, teeth gritted in pleasure. After he catches himself, he tends to you, letting any regret in your mind dissolve into self-doubt over the course of a long, languid kiss.

[garoujo]

✩ ˛˚ . INTERRUPTED ; — you find your alone time with multiple tokyo revengers characters being interrupted.

FEATURING: sano shinichiro, hanma shuji, haitani rindou, sano manjiro + sanzu haruchiyo.

warnings: f!reader, exhibitonism, bonten!timeline, shin owns his bike shop, phone calls / being walked in on, cock-warming, sort of possessive behaviour in sanzu’s, ch-oking. note: hewo :3 i am v happy w how these turned out i think so i hope u guys enjoy hehehe <3

✩ ˛˚ . SANO SHINICHIRO

shinichiro could never fucking say no to you, you just had to give him one of your pretty little looks from underneath your lashes and he was like fucking putty in your hands.

it’s like you knew exactly how to get to him, made just to tease and test his own self control and fuck—turns out he hasn’t got any at all, because now your usual little afternoon visit to see him at work has ended up with his hips pressing flush and tight against your own as he sinks his cock into the warm hug of your pussy.

it wasn’t normally something that bothered shinichiro, but when it’s only 2pm on a friday afternoon and he’s just heard the bell on the front door of his bike shop ring to alert him of another customer. he’s pretty sure they might find a problem with the fact he can’t deal with them because he’s balls deep in you in the back shop.

you feel the deep press of your boyfriends cock against the sweet spots inside of you when his next thrust stutters, followed by another languid withdrawal of his hips before he’s rolling them back into you at an even slower pace. but he swears he feels you squeeze even tighter when the sudden ring of the bell at the front desk rips you both from your blissful, hormone-drunken state.

“just a sec..” shinichiro calls as his fingers squeeze almost painfully at your hips and he’s pulling back to give you a lidded look from under the messy mop of black hair framing his flushed features. you shudder when you feel the cool metal of his chain leave your too hot skin but he still doesn’t pull himself away when your hands tighten in the fabric of his shirt. “f-fuck, angel, gotta let me go.. quit squeezin’ so tight.

“but shin, ‘m so close.” you babble through your pouty lips and even the fucking sound only seems to lure him closer as he offers you another stuttered thrust and he grits his teeth. another ring of the bell accompanied by another sinful squeeze of your walls around him and shit— he wished he’d just closed up for the day. god he is fucking whipped.

“mmm—fine, angel. shit— jus’ gotta make it quick, alright? make it up to ya later.”

✩ ˛˚ . HANMA SHUJI

your trip to hanma’s office had started somewhat innocent, it was always down to him when you ended up spread out on his desk atleast — not that you can be blamed when he’s so infuriatingly handsome, amber lidded gaze never once leaving yours as soon as you enter.

it’s the same look that he’s giving you now as you sit spread out for him across the paper work that he couldn’t give two shits about right now. he’s still dressed apart from his unbuttoned slacks — just enough to free the heavy strain of his cock but still a stark contrast to the way he’s stripped you of everything — offered you up to himself like a luxury meal he’s about to devour, and you almost shudder with how exposed you feel before you melt at his touch again.

“you miss my cock that much, babydoll?” hanma goads, smirks as one of his large palms, sin squeezes at the flesh of your thigh so he can push you wider. you can barely offer him words with the way your desire weighs heavy on your lungs, a weak little nod that only makes his grin twitch even wider as he wraps your thighs around his hips.

“such a helpless little thing, can’t cum without me doing all the work.” it was almost uncharacteristic for him to give into you so easily, he liked you begging — crying for him to finally fuck you but any suspicions soon melt when the fat head of his cock finds the entrance to your flexing pussy.

you gasp and hanma growls as he sinks carefully up inside you, punishment taking its usual place around your throat as he squeezes lightly at the sides — he always said it was your prettiest fuckin’ necklace afterall. his other hand on your hip pulls your hips closer to his as your back arches and his cock feels like it sinks into you forever. he was long and thick, curved upwards and warm and it glides so sweetly past the spots inside of you that make your whole body twitch against the wood, your pussy tightening harder around him the deeper he goes.

but just as you find yourself floating into a blissful state, almost consumed completely by him — you jolt when there’s a sudden, sharp knock on his office door and his fingers around your throat squeeze a little tighter before he chuckles.

your wide-eyed as you look at hanma but he doesn’t stop, he looks amused and there’s something dark, wild in the same familiar amber that looks over you when the next knock is accompanied by him forcing your walls to spread open wider for him. “s-shuji.” you try, a small plea for him to tell him he’s busy — to do something, anything.

but then you only feel him press into you deeper, looking at you from over the frames of his glasses before he’s urging your head to tilt back — palm pressing tight against the middle of your throat as he drags you along his cock with the other.

“came here to cum didn’t you? better tell ‘em.. or. else.”

✩ ˛˚ . HAITANI RINDOU

rindou is fucking late, he knows as he gives the watch underneath the expensive fabric of his suit a lazy, lidded look from underneath his lashes. it’s not that he was stuck in traffic or anything, hes at the venue for the executive meeting atleast — hes just far too fucking obsessed with the way you’re bouncing on his cock as he sits in the front seat of his fucking car to actually leave.

ran’s definitely going to kick his ass, he thinks before it’s replaced by the next particularly sharp connection of your hips — warm hug of your pussy reducing him to low grunts and growls as every thought in his head is consumed by only you instead.

“fuck sake, i gotta go princess. but shit, got the sweetest lil fuckin’ pussy.” rindou hisses through gritted teeth as he lets his head fall back against the headrest — his violet gaze heavy underneath his mused bangs as it focuses on the way your pretty tits jiggle everytime you sink back down onto his heavy cock. he’s gotta go, but why can’t he bring himself to fucking move.

“so close rin!” you whimper through pouty lips, your mind cloudy with how well hes fucking you and it does wonders at drowning out the way his phone is vibrating in the passenger seat — his hands preoccupied with dragging you along the length of him instead.

“yeah? lemme see how fuckin’ pretty you look when you cum ‘round my cock, gorgeous.” the ragged tone of rindou’s words feels like it drips through you as the muscles in his well trained body shake beneath you. his pace is unrelenting as he begins to meet each of your thrusts with heavier ones of his own, fingers squeezing tight into your hips so he can push his cock even deeper into you with every wet connection.

“you been thinkin’ ‘bout my cock, princess? already made me fuckin’ late, gotta make it up to me.” rindou groans and your walls reward the thick spread of his cock with another needy twitch. your pussy squelches, wet and messy as the sounds echo around the walls of the car and fuck— he wants to ruin you. but his next harsh thrust stutters when there’s a sudden knock against the drivers seat window that makes his head twist quickly, because despite the dark tint and the condensation from you both — he knows who it fucking is.

“oh little brother? hm, don’t make me drag you in here.”

✩ ˛˚ . SANO MANJIRO

you think it’s warm, comfortable when you’re curled up in mikey’s lap — a place that had become one of your favourite despite how many people feared him. but he was different with you, softer as his slender fingers trace up the length of your spine — making you shudder as his cock rests inside the intoxicating hug of your walls.

it was a nice sort of routine, like a little ritual than always seemed to keep him grounded and it was some of his favourite moments with you — sacred moments with you. you pull back to give him a pretty, drowsy sort of look and you almost melt completely when it earns you a relaxed sort of expression in return followed by a small smile. “manjiro.” you begin and he swears the use of his full name from between your lips makes him shudder as something warm licks at the base of his spine.

“hm?” it’s low the hum that mikey offers you but you only sigh contently before you’re urging yourself closer, letting yourself bask in his hold as his arm around you proceeds to tighten as his lips rest against your temple. “it feels good, you’re warm.” he drawls and the whispered affirmation makes your insides ache before the next squeeze of your walls is pulling a shuddered breath from the man beneath you.

but just as you get comfortable in the blissful atmosphere in the room, it’s interrupted suddenly by the harsh wrap of knuckles against his office door before a particularly scared looking gang member scurries in after. he opens his mouth to speak but the cold look your boyfriend gives him seems to make the words die in his throat before he cuts him off completely.

“i’m busy.” mikey’s tone is blunt, ragged and a stark contrast to the softer one that he seems to reserve only for you as his fingers continue their ministrations along your skin. but you find yourself tensing when his words aren’t followed by the sudden unwanted company leaving, something that your boyfriend picks up on when instead they proceed to try again as they stutter out something unintelligible.

“didn’t you hear me?” there’s authority in the sharpness of his tone this time and it leaves no room for argument — only an apology as the gang member bows before leaving, probably mentally preparing himself for the visit he’ll be receiving from sanzu later no doubt. but you find yourself relaxing into manjiro’s embrace again as soon as you’re both alone again, hearing him sigh before it’s followed by a sudden, deep kiss of his cock as he shifts beneath you.

“so annoying. i’m comfy.”

✩ ˛˚ . SANZU HARUCHIYO

“haru..” you gasp from where sanzu has you hips pressed tight against his desk — swiping his fingers softly through your folds as he drags the pad beneath the hood of your clit, rolling the sensitive bud until he can see the way your thighs twitch. it was insane, the way he’s toying with you — playing with your pretty cunt like you’ve got him fucking hypnotised.

“i know, angel. just real pretty.” he hums before he’s deliberately pressing down onto your puffy clit harder, eagerly, until you’re wet enough for him to push two fingers inside. he rewards you with a sweet little kiss against the puffy bud when he’s not met with much resistance, grinning at the even sweeter little whine it pulls from your pouty lips.

“such pretty sounds, perfect fucking pussy.” sanzu’s fingers are long, long and thick enough for you to hiss at the stretch but you feel something blissful flutter in your tummy with the soft affirmation from his scarred lips. it was intoxicating to see a man so dangerous turn to fucking putty when he was between your legs and gazing up at you from under long lashes.

his warm breath rolls over your slick folds as he pants, his crystalline eyes transfixed and shining on where his digits sink into you, until his head lowers and his tongue is curling against your clit before he’s dragging it back up — complimenting every twist of his wrist with kitten licks like you’re the sweetest thing hes ever fucking tasted. it was rare for you both to get some alone time, he was a busy man afterall being bonten’s number two and you forget just how fucking good he makes you feel — making your toes curl from where they rest over his shoulders so easily.

but just as you let yourself melt back onto the heavy wood behind you, fingers smoothing through the bubblegum roots of sanzu’s hair before you pull — you’re jolted from your blissful state by the sharp ring of his phone in his pants. you hear him click his tongue before he’s spitting out a curse, but he continues to sink his fingers into you as he struggles with the device, swiping at the screen as he swirls tantalising circles into your clit with his thumb.

“what the fuck is it?” he spits and fuck— you swear the sudden boom of his voice makes you even wetter as your walls squeeze tight around his fingers, making his scarred lips twitch into a wild grin as he hums. you can tell he’s barely listening to the caller, not important enough for his attention so you know it’s not mikey, but his attention remains on you despite the way he addresses them. “fuckin’ do something about it then, im busy.”

you’re so fucking wound up, moans muffled behind your lips despite the way sanzu’s so desperately trying to drag them out of you before he’s resting the phone face up on the desk beside you. you’d assume he was done, but you can still hear the faint voice on the other end and the hooded look he gives you is dark before he’s suddenly burying his face into you, drinking up everything you offer to him despite the way his sharp gaze cuts up into you as he grumbles out a warning.

“keep that pretty mouth quiet, angel. those sounds are for my ears only, wouldnt want to have to kill that sorry bastard for hearing what’s mine.”

© 2023 GAROUJO. do not copy any of my layouts / writing + translate / repost onto any other sites.

[anneapocalypse]

On Wuk Lamat, and Female Characters in FFXIV

The Thing with Wuk Lamat is you can tell me you think she had too much screentime; you can give me numbers on how many lines she had or how many scenes she's in relative to other characters or other expacs; you can prove to me "objectively" that she gets more focus than other main NPCs; you're simply not going to convince me that this is something I should be unhappy about. And not just because it's silly to think you can use numbers to prove a story is good or bad and make someone else go, "Wow, you're right, let me just throw away all the joy I experienced with this story and revise my opinion because you've scientifically proven to me that I'm wrong."

Because while I love Final Fantasy XIV and I have greatly enjoyed its story in so many ways, fundamentally one of my biggest beefs with this game has been how much female characters have been denied complex character arcs and growth and agency and interiority.

Minfilia gets treated as a sacrificial vessel who lives for everyone but herself and doesn't even get to have feelings about her own death because that entire arc is focused on a male character's angst about it instead. The game tells us in the Heavensward patches that Krile sees Minfilia as her best friend and then just forgets about that later and never follows up on what that loss must have meant to her. Ysayle is basically right about most of what she's fighting for but harboring a bit of self-delusion is apparently such a terrible sin that she has to pay for it with her life, while her male foil is deemed so worthy of salvation that there's a whole plot point about how important it is that we risk our lives and others' lives to save him. Y'shtola is a major character who's been around since the beginning, and the game keeps dropping maddeningly interesting things about her (apprenticed to a cranky old witch in a cave! saved her own life and the lives of her friends with an illegal and dangerous spell and it worked! reserved and undemonstrative yet regularly through her actions reveals herself to be deeply caring! disabled!) and then shows complete disinterest in following up on any of those things with the kind of depth and care shown to male characters with complex arcs like Urianger.

In general there is also a repeated thread of female characters being portrayed as weak or overly emotional: Minfilia is weak because she doesn't fight and needs to be eaten by a god in order to gain "a strength long sought." Krile is portrayed as not being able to pull her weight with the Scions (despite the fact that she actively keeps five of them from dying in Shadowbringers) and the only thing they could think of for her to do in Endwalker was be yet another vessel for Hydaelyn (hmm, that sounds familiar) and it's not until Dawntrail that she gets much actual character development in the main story and even that has to come alongside "Look, she can fight now so that means she's useful." (And I love Picto!Krile, I'm just saying, there's a pattern.) Alisaie, despite having very good reasons for needing to find her own path apart from her brother, is portrayed as having to prove herself when she returns, that she's "not the girl she once was," and "will not be a burden" (while Alphinaud is repeatedly given the benefit of the doubt and reassurance and affirmation from other characters even after he takes on responsibilities he isn't ready for and fucks up big time).

And if you follow me you know I adore Urianger, and I love Alphinaud and Thancred and Estinien too, so please don't misunderstand what I'm saying here! I'm not knocking those characters, or saying we shouldn't also love them. I just use them as a comparison to demonstrate how the female characters have been neglected.

Lyse has some of the stronger character development among the female Scions, and while she's still kind of portrayed as being too emotional and hotheaded in early Stormblood, I think it's actually explored in more depth in a way that I like; Lyse has good reasons for wanting to fight for her nation's freedom, but having been away from Ala Mhigo for several years now, she needs to understand the stakes for the people who've been there fighting for years, what they've lost and still have to lose. She grows as a person and rises to the challenge of leadership, and I'm even okay with the fact that she leaves the Scions afterward because it feels right for her to stay in Ala Mhigo, and at least she doesn't die.

And by all accounts she was, like Wuk Lamat, widely hated when her expansion came out.

Unironically I think the other female Scion with the strongest character arc is Tataru. She tries to take up a combat job, finds that it's not for her, and decides to focus on where her strengths are instead. In doing so, she both holds the Scions together as an organization in the absence of a leader by capably managing their finances, and also comes into her own as a businesswoman and makes international connections that benefit both the Scions and her personally. In contrast to Minfilia, she's not portrayed as weak because she doesn't fight, and is actually allowed to be an important character who's good for more than being sacrificed. Tataru is still distinctly in a supporting role for the player character, however, and her character arc happens as a side story that takes up a relatively small amount of screentime over several expansions, which I think is probably why she doesn't evoke such a negative reaction.

But there is a pattern of the game's writing showing disinterest in the interior lives of female characters generally, and in making their growth the focus of a story.

So yeah, I'm going to be happy about Wuk Lamat! I'm going to enjoy and celebrate every moment of her character arc, of her personal growth, of watching her put the lessons she's learned into action. I'm going to love and treasure every moment when she gets to be silly, embarrassing, emotional, scared, grieving, confused, upset, seasick, impulsive, and still deemed worthy of growing into a hero and a leader. I will love her with all of my soul and you simply will not convince me that it wasn't worth the screentime after such a profound imbalance for basically the entirety of the game. We've never had a major female character get such a strong arc with this much love and attention put into it and that means more to me than I can truly say. The backlash to it is disheartening, as this kind of thing always is, but I'm not going to let it ruin the wonderful experience I had playing it and how much joy it continues to bring me.

And for those of you who don't want any of that for a female character, thank goodness you have Heavensward and Shadowbringers and Endwalker and no one can take those away from you.

(And if you follow me you know that I love Shadowbringers and Endwalker and have very fond memories of Heavensward despite some issues with it, so not only can I not take that from you, I am not trying to!)

Some of us have been real hungry for a character like this with an arc like this, so, I think, y'know, maybe we can have that. As a treat.

[satrs]

Heyyy! Hope you're doing well!

Thinking about soft dom Inumaki rn tho. Like what if she was so soft but reader basically begged him to take more control, take more control, maybe use his cursed speech on them on minor things? Like scareming his name etc.

So yeah do with that request as you see fit lol

ᥲ/ᥒ ꜝꜝ ✎ yesss he needs some more attention like fr! i feel like almost no one talks abt my baby anymore like??? C'MON!!

I'm doing fine and I hope u do too! Thanks for the request and have a lovely day/night/evening!^^

ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʜᴏʟᴅ ʙᴀᴄᴋ!

ꜰᴇᴀᴛᴜʀɪɴɢ; dom!inumaki toge x sub!fem!reader

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ; 0.7k

TAGS; NSFW CONTENT! MDNI! fingering. nipple sucking (on fem!).

ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+!

"You don't gotta be so soft with me all the time Toge. I'm not made out of glass, you know."

Inumaki couldn't believe what he just heard. Where was that coming from? And what do you mean with 'not soft?' Did you want him to be rougher with you? Slap you? His questioning expression caused you to chuckle, turning around on your position on the bed, fully facing him. "I love how we fuck. It's just- maybe take more control? It's just that-"

He drowned out your words completely as he starred holes into the celling above him. Take more control? But how could he when his sweet little girl was just so breathtakingly gorgeous when she took what she wanted?

And you're wrong. For him, you are made out of glass, such delicate skin and angelic body almost too perfect to have a single rough finger layed on.

But on the other hand, you are is gorgeous girl so why complain to your requests? If that's what you really want, he would give it to you.

He didn't even knew what you were rambling about as his mouth moved almost on it's own without much mind too it.

"Quiet."

As if on cue, you immediately stopped talking, eyes widdening as you realized what he just did. You heart beats rapidly with excitement as you bit your lower lip when you noticed him crawling ontop of you, sly smirk adoring his handsome face.

He didn't have to utter a word for you to understand what was on his mind right now, moving your hand to your top in an attempt to strip naked.

"Don't do that." And again, you helplessly withdrawn your hand back to it's previous spot but this time, not on cursed command but solely on his words alone, big orbs starred up at him in anticipation. His gaze flickered between your eyes and lips before giving into the temption to capture your lips with his, sighing into your mouth at your delicate taste.

His hands explored your body, squezzing your breast in his hand while the other hand was occupied with finding it's way into your flimsy panties.

His lips parted from yours, directly attacking your neck with wet and sloppy kisses and licks, sucking marks onto your tender skin before returning back to caputer your neglected nipple into his mouth. You moaned at his actions, hands tangling into his white locks only to be slapped away and pinned next to your head.

His fingers played with your slick folds, small circles being drawn onto your clit as you bucked up into his touch needily. As his fingers slowly entered your aching hole he let out a groan at the feeling of your velvet walls sucking his fingers in so graciously.

Your breathing was turning heavier with each movement of his fingers, toes curling in pleasure as he hit that one particular spot inside of you. Sinful sounds escaped your mouth as your vision slowly blurred with the increasing of his finger's movements, hand desperatly clinging onto his head then his hand in an attempt to escape the almost too pleasurable feeling of both his mouth and hand working wonders on you.

He took your weak hand in his, interwinding your fingers to stop your pitiful actions. "Tell me how you feel."

A slight electric tingle went through your body at the cursed command, almost to deep in pleasure to answer. "T-too good! I can't- I'm gonna cum Toge! Sososo good!"

He hummed in content at your answer, attention turning back to your body as he drew you near the edge with every second passing.

With one last curl of his fingers your back arched into his touch, mouth falling open as praises and cries of his name came past them while you unraveled underneath him.

While you came down from your high you tried to break free of his grasp, only for his interlocked fingers to tighten their grip as his other hand worked on his pants. "Don't move." He said, slight whine flying past your lips as you licked your lip in anticipation.

A good talk always brings good outcomes, right?

©︎𝐊-𝐀𝐙𝐔𝐒. all rights reserved. Do NOT plagiarize, copy, modify, republish, or translate my work in any way!

[swaps55]

When does Anderson realise what's going on between Sam and Kaidan?

After the Normandy goes down he glimpses into Kaidan's grief. When Kaidan starts fighting his way back after that he gets to know him better. When does the other shoe drop? He knows Sam so well, shouldn't be taking him forever ..?

This is a FANTASTIC question, and one I have given a fair amount of thought. I'd claim "spoilers!" and keep the answer close to the chest, but it'll be a hot minute before I get to it, and who knows if anyone will still be reading by that point. XD

Still, I'll put it under a spoiler for anyone who doesn't want to know.

I initially asked myself the same question: why hasn't Anderson figured this out yet?

And here's the answer I came to: Anderson is not just grieving a soldier, he's grieving a son, and I imagine he feels very alone in that grief. Plenty of people knew Commander Shepard. Not many people knew Sam. In Kaidan, Anderson has found a rare person who understands his grief. That's a powerful thing. My guess is that he wouldn't take the time to ask why or examine it very deeply - all his emotional and mental energy is going towards burying and moving on for someone he loved like his own child.

When Sam comes back, I don't think it occurs to him to ask, "why do you care so much?" when "thank god you care as much as I do," is all that really matters.

So with that said, when does he figure it out?

Originally, my answer was: he doesn't. I was going to leave it at, "he never figures it out on his own, and Sam doesn't get the chance to tell him." It was going to be a huge regret for Sam that his father figure never knew he'd found someone.

But as I've gotten deeper into Opus and deeper into Mezzo, I'm no longer happy with that. It feels like pain for the sake of pain, rather than pain that's meaningful to the narrative or to the characters.

So toss that one in the garbage. So what does happen, then? Sam and Anderson don't have a whole lot of opportunity to interact before the reapers come. When Sam is in lockup, he's not exactly going to be chatty about his fraternization history. We've already walked through that he doesn't really clock it from Kaidan, because the role Kaidan plays in Anderson's own complicated feelings for Sam's death and resurrection give him a pretty big blind spot.

My working premise, then, is that Anderson does find out, but not because he figures it out.

It's because when Kaidan gets injured on the final push, Sam pulls his helmet off and lays one on him right in front of Anderson before they say goodbye, and Anderson has a bigger "oh" moment than either Sam or Kaidan ever had, lol.

I've written a snippet of the conversation Sam and Anderson might have about it in Anderson's final moments. It's less a snippet and more of some passing dialogue in my head that I scribbled down so I wouldn't forget it:

~

"Tell me about him. About...you and him."

"What about it?"

Anderson gestures with a weak hand. "Any of it. All of it. I...missed everything, and it was right under my nose."

"No," Shepard says softly. "You didn't. It just sort of...grew up around us. Like it never started and just always...was."

"Tell me."

At first Shepard is silent. Fear strikes Anderson's heart, but then he shifts, exhale coming out like a rattle. "Ever just...meet someone, and then turn around one day and realize there is nothing you wouldn't do, no bridge you wouldn't cross, no sin you wouldn't commit...for them."

A faltering smile touches Anderson's lips as he remembers the lost boy playing in the fountain, the kid who was determined to bend physics to his will, the man who laid in a hospital bed after turning the N7 test on its head and asked if he'd done enough.

"Yes. I have."

[forestdeath1]

Lily and James — the alchemical Queen and King. Lily is the main symbol of the entire saga.

In Harry Potter, there are two levels - the mundane and the symbolic. On the mundane level, Lily is a character with her own strengths and weaknesses. On the symbolic level, Lily is the main symbol of the entire saga. Perhaps that's why there's so little talk about her because symbolically Lily is what everyone strives for, everyone searches for but cannot find. Harry learns more about Lily only before the final battle, and there's a reason for that.

It's no secret that HP books are heavily laden with alchemical and Christian symbolism. I'm not religious, and to me, all these symbols are just cultural codes that have had a significant influence on almost all classic literature and art.

Philipp Otto Runge, Chagall, Goethe — they're all alchemical codes

Firstly, alchemy is not about literally turning lead into gold, it's a path of spiritual development, a path of transformation, a "hero's journey," the journey of the Son returning to the Father. Alchemical transformation is described in the text "The Chymical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreutz." This is the third manifesto of the Rosicrucian Brotherhood.

So, lilies are a very ancient symbol.

According to Jewish legends, the lily grew in Eden just at the time of Eve's temptation by the devil and could be defiled by him, but even amid temptation, it remained as pure as it was, and no dirty hand dared to touch it. In early medieval depictions, Christ was placed against a backdrop of lilies or in the lily flower, seen as a symbol of the Virgin Mary. The orange lily often symbolizes the blood of Christ.

Symbolically, Lily is the love of God, a divine spark, and the blood of Christ itself, which was shed in the name of redemption and salvation to atone for the sins of all humanity. And what is the blood of Christ? In Christian tradition, the blood of Jesus Christ is a symbol of the life-giving and saving spirit of God.

By the way, lilies and roses were often confused in translations, and symbolically they are the same. Many suspected that the Rosicrucians' rose is a stylized version of the Egyptian and Indian flowering lotus, and the lotus has often been considered a water lily (they are different, but symbolically they merged). But calling the main character Rose would be too dull and obvious a reference.

Lily - symbolically, she is both the mother of Christ and the Spirit of God herself, the bearer of divine love, to which all seekers are drawn. This is not the only meaning, but for now, it's enough.

God is love, says John the Apostle. (Remus John Lupin, hehe. It was absolutely unnecessary to know his middle name. It's intentionally inserted because each of the marauders, except Sirius, by name signifies one of the disciples closest to Christ. Sirius is a separate story, he signifies something completely different.)

And who is drawn? Well, primarily we see two - James and Snape.

One of the most important things we learn about James is that he's a deer. The deer is a well-known symbol. In myths and folk beliefs, the deer was associated with the soul's aspiration to heaven and purification.

"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God" Ps. 42: 1

In the Alexandrian "Physiologus," there's an ancient enmity between the stag and the serpent. The serpent hides from the foe in the clefts of the earth, but the stag, with the help of water, draws out the serpent and defeats it. (Water has always been a symbol of the serpent, even in Slytherin's element water, but the stag fights the serpent not with ordinary water but with the water of baptism. The snake has another important meaning for alchemy, but more on that later.)

Snape belongs to the Serpent, to secret knowledge, occult knowledge, "philosophical" reason, dark magic, which has always been contrary to the divine nature in Christian understanding and originated from the devil. James belongs to the Lion and the Deer.

The Lion is a typical alchemical symbol. Also, the Red Lion is Christ. Gryffindor embodies the soul's aspiration towards light and transformation, towards salvation. By the way, St. Godric (the hermit) also had his own pet deer, which he saved.

The deer seeks love, the spirit of God, the divine spark, God Himself, and in this persistent pursuit is shown James's path, as a seeker and as an alchemist. The Potters — if not alchemists themselves, then at least from the lineage of alchemists — the Peverells (The symbol of the Deathly Hallows is an alchemical-masonic symbol). And this means that the Potters are at least seekers; in their souls, there is a desire to find the divine and undergo transformation. The Potters have a strong hatred for the 'serpentine essence' of evil, and this is what needs to be transformed. (By the way, the graveyard is located near St. Jerome's Church. Besides translating the Bible into Latin, Jerome also healed and tamed a lion).

Masonic-alchemical symbol. Symbol of the philosopher's stone. Symbol of the Deathly Hallows. Solve et coagula is a principle of alchemy meaning "dissolve and coagulate".

An alchemist is a gardener, and this is another interesting reference to James and Lily. The way James tries to find an approach to Lily is an alchemical process. The alchemist tends to the Garden. In Vrisvik's Great Work (the Magnum Opus), it appears as the Garden of the Wise. The Gates to the Garden of the Wise for the Chosen become the process of dissolving "our Substance." James manages to approach Lily only when he dissolves his Ego. The Ego is the main enemy on the path to transformation.

The tradition of "hermetic gardening," that is, "cultivating the flowers of Wisdom in one's garden," becomes a leading line in alchemical symbolism. James cultivates wisdom.

While Snape cultivates "dark knowledge," although his soul also strives for light and love. But Snape is still too captured by his Ego, too captivated by base emotions, a thirst for revenge, recognition, or power, a craving for "secret knowledge." He cannot resist it, no matter how much he may strive for Lily, for the divine transformation of his spirit, and James, still dwelling in his Ego, instead of showing mercy to Snape, pushes him further away. The stag fights the serpent, but God is love. Ultimately, Snape temporarily closes off the paths of alchemical transformation for himself.

The Rebis is the end product of the alchemical magnum opus or great work. The lion must dissolve the serpent. Hermetic gardening. The alchemical wedding: the Queen and the King.

But besides all this, the deer is also a symbol of eternal renewal and victory over death ("The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death" 1 Corinthians 15:26 ). A symbol of Christ. His constantly renewing antlers represent eternal life.

In the original Greek of the New Testament, the names Jacob and James are variants of the same root—Yaaqob. James is an active force, a seeker, an investigator, a supplanter. James the Great was of a rather impulsive character, but everyone was also amazed by his courage, he was the only one who acknowledged Christ as the Messiah. And he is the only apostle whose death is described in the New Testament. He dies at the hands of King Herod, a cynical and evil king who was willing to murder babies for his purpose. James also dies at the hands of Voldemort, who is willing to kill a baby for his purpose.

Moreover, it was Saint James who was considered the heavenly patron of alchemists. His tomb was located in Santiago de Compostela, which was the oldest center of adepts. It was there, in 1378, after twenty years of unsuccessful attempts to decipher the Book of Hieroglyphic Figures, that Nicolas Flamel, the most famous alchemist of the Middle Ages, went. By the way, Shell Cottage... the scallop shell is a symbol of the apostle James and the "trademark" of the Way of St. James. Shell Cottage is also alchemical. It is there that Harry sees the symbol of the Deathly Hallows around Lovegood's neck.

James is a seeker. Lily is a symbol of the divine spirit, sparks, transformation. That to which all must ultimately come, that which must change in our world in the image of God. But for now, our world is seized by evil, by the antichrist. To defeat death means to defeat the antichrist in one's soul.

James finds Lily. The Soul finds the Spirit. The Spirit descends into the Soul. The King and Queen marry—and a new life is born, another hero capable of defeating the evil that has engulfed the world, capable of cleansing the world of evil. The connection between Harry and Christ is no secret to anyone.

The power of love conquers death. A rune appears on Harry's forehead—Sowilo rune—the victory rune, the sun rune, the irreversible rune. It symbolically serves as the key to the world of Alfheim—the world of the light elves, that is, the bright ideas, the prototypes of the buddhial plane, the ideality in this world.

The key to God. Harry becomes marked. His scar is a reminder to him that he came into this world not just by chance, but to destroy evil. And coming into this world, materializing, a person invariably receives a particle of the antichrist within himself. That's how this world works. Evil is in the soul of each of us, and through the Great Work, a person must purify himself.

And none can live while the other survives, because they mutually exclude each other by their very nature. Christ and antichrist.

But Harry has a difficult path ahead, the path of the Great Work before he can achieve victory. And that will be the theme of all 7 books, 7 years — exactly 7 days is the duration of The Chymical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreutz for the transformation oh his soul, for victory over death.

[aztarion]

Six (lying) Song Soundtrack - Soledad (ssssss)

Rules: If you're tagged, make a new post with links to music and/or lyrics describing the following...

An event that defines your character’s past: Rotten Apple - Alice in Chains

Innocence is over Ignorance is spoken Confidence is broken Sustenance is stolen Arrogance is potent I repent tomorrow I suspend my sorrow A romance is fallen Recommend you borrow What I see is unreal I've written my own part Eat of the apple, so young I'm crawling back to start

How your character sees themselves: Dissolved Girl - Massive Attack & Spill The Milk - Eartheater

Say, say my name I need a little love to ease the pain Need a little love to ease the pain It's easy to remember, when it came 'Cause it feels like I've been, I've been here before You are not my savior, but I still don't go Feels like something that I've done before ... Edging on a cup This cup runneth over I can't even drink enough water To keep up with my physical response No promises You don't have to budget your affection Nothing sticks to something this wet

How others view them: Mascara - Deftones & Mary Magdalene - FKA Twigs

Cause there's still blood In your hair Got the bruise Of the year But it's something about her Long shady eyes I'm all about her Shade tonight I hate your tattoos You have weak wrists But I'll keep you ... Creature of desire Come just a little bit closer to me Step just a little bit closer to me I can lift you higher

Their closest relationship (platonic or romantic): Dusk - Chelsea Wolfe

Watch this empire as it burns and dissipates Haunted, on fire, on the wings that we create Angels (angels), vampires (vampires) One breathes life unto the other Branded (branded), baptized (baptized) By your love and by your hunger And I would give you my life One sin leads to another And I would go through fire to get to you

A major fight scene: Leathers - Deftones

Extend your tongue, speak out, go on Shedding your skin, showing your texture Time to let everything Inside show You're cutting all ties, now and forever time to let Everything outside you Shed your casing and show your lines and shapes Wear your insides on the outside Show your enemy what you look like What you look like What you look like from the inside From the inside

End Credits: When Is The Future - VNV Nation

It's a beautiful dream It's a beautiful life It's just a reflection A world I must survive We're children of the past Who look beyond today Designing the present So when is the future We live in a dream Keeping visions alive It's just a reflection A world that never dies The image we create Now image we designed It's a beautiful life So when is the future

in summary:

tagged by @informaltorching and @mortifying-macaroni my beloveds <333 thank you

trying so hard to think who would enjoy doing this arrghghghg tagging @auspex @eurodyning @silkenred @baelavelaryon

@gauntlings @vanmarkham @devilbrakers @ruvviks but literally no pressure and if you wanna do this and havent been tagged just tag me FOR REAL^^

gorgeous dividers by the gift that keeps on giving @diableriedoll ♥️

[glowingbadger]

Hi everyone, I have a mental illness called Welt Yang.

Save me massive DILF cock save me

As a disclaimer, I'm an HSR-only Welt enjoyer, so you'll have to forgive me as I do my best to nail his voice and character down (no, I will not "just play HI3," how much time and hard drive space for Hoyo games do you think I have) - plus, it's my first time writing him, and I'm always a little less sure on my first outing with a character, even when it's, y'know, just smut.

CWs include some pretty rough/intense sex, my shameless size-queen tendencies, and some... aggressively cane-centric foreplay (is that even a thing?? Is anyone into this?? I just got possessed by the idea and had to try it, sorry not sorry)

Welt Yang (HSR) x GN/AFAB Reader

NSFW 18+

What does it take to provoke Welt Yang? This question had lingered as an impertinent impulse in the back of your mind for far too long now- since before the two of you had confessed your feelings for one another. Even then, in that vulnerable moment between you, while his joy and relief at your reciprocated feelings had been clear, he remained the picture of reason and maturity. Some time later, you'd now realized that even while making love, he remained impressively composed. Rather, he seemed restrained. And that word- restraint- that, you would not stand for.

When he holds you in his bed, Welt is focused, dedicated, relentlessly devoted to your satisfaction. He exhibits the kind of skill that only comes with years, and as for his size and stamina both, he certainly provides more than you had ever dared to hope for. He's given you nothing to complain about- and yet, there's one thing you still crave. You want to see him falter. You want to push him somehow, to see how he responds to something new and unexpected and sinful.

That's how you've found yourself at the door to his quarters in only a loose buttoned shirt and panties. After a quick courtesy-knock, you slip into his room and close the door behind you. Welt is seated in a modest but comfortable armchair, a book in one hand while the other absently rests on his cane at his side. His extra layers have been forgone for the night, leaving him in a turtleneck and trousers, and a responsibly portioned glass of liquor rests on an end table beside him, barely touched. His eyes flick up over his glasses at you when you enter, and his expression softens- then, he takes another look, and his eyebrows rise just slightly.

"Evening," he says in his usual measured tone, "Do you need something, dearest?"

"Just to see you," you reply sweetly. His eyes are warm on you as you approach, your hands fussing aimlessly with the hem of the shirt that just barely flits around your upper thighs. Despite this, his line of sight remains disciplined.

When he speaks next you're already carefully easing onto his lap to straddle his hips.

"It's getting late," his composure remains, but you catch his voice subconsciously dipping lower as you settle against him, "You... ought to get some rest."

This close, and at this angle, you imagine Welt can appreciate just how few of this shirt's buttons you've deigned to utilize tonight. Yet other than that tantalizing dip of his voice, he has yet to show the slightest weakness.

"Actually, I was thinking we could help each other relax a bit tonight," you say with a grin. At last, he sets aside the book in his hand, and his golden eyes meet yours.

"What exactly did you have in mind?"

Your coy smirk makes your intentions more than clear, but this is so like him. As always, Welt seeks to gather intel before making any moves of his own- but you're prepared for this.

"How about this," you say, brushing his bangs from his eyes, "I'll give you a hint, and you tell me what you think."

"Hm," he hums softly, "Very well. I'll do my best not to disappoint."

He moves to dissipate the cane manifested in his hand, but you instead take both it and his hand, and guide them up towards you. You position the cane until the tip is planted in the seat cushion, between both your legs and Welt's. The staff of it travels up the center of your body and, as you nestle yourself against it, between your breasts. The handle, of course, is level with your lips.

You watch Welt's chest rise and fall with a single long breath as he observes you. With one hand holding the cane steady, your other strokes the handle as you draw it to your mouth. Slowly, shamelessly, you circle the end with your tongue, and practically moan when you notice his eyes narrow and his fingers clench tight at the armrest beside him. But he says nothing.

You keep pushing, tracing the cane's handle with your tongue, making sure to keep your arms drawn in around your chest all the while so he can enjoy the sight of it held snug between your breasts.

Welt murmurs your name, and you offer him an innocent smile.

"Something wrong?"

"Not at all," he replies, eyes fixed directly on you, "Please, go on."

An understated reply- but you can tell you're finally inching past his iron-clad stoicism.

Your free hand runs up and down the length of the cane while your lips brush the tip in that same deliberately sensual way. Welt's jaw tightens. You shift the cane just slightly so that it's pressing between your thighs, and rock your lower body gently forward so it rubs lewdly against you. Immediately, you notice your lover practically digging his fingernails into the armrest, and you smile as you give a soft, moaning sigh. You let him watch like this for a while; your hips sway at a slow an erotic pace, and while one hand continues to hold onto Welt's cane, the other sneaks the fabric of you shirt upward just enough that he can clearly see you rubbing yourself against the staff. Your cunt is already warm and wet with arousal, and each pass slickens the cane just a little through your already-soaked panties.

With a flick of his fingers, he exerts the slightest pressure on the cane, adjusting its angle and rutting it more firmly against you. You inhale sharply, your eyes briefly unfocused, yet he only says,

"Make yourself cum."

You hardly notice the whimper you let out as you firmly, wantonly grind your wet cunt along his cane. The way he's holding your gaze makes your heart race. The stern furrow of his brow has dashed every thought from your mind but the desire to please him.

"I believe I understand your 'hint,' dearest," he speaks softly, but with a heat simmering just beneath the surface. His hand trails warm up the outer curve of your thigh, and he says, "You're trying to rile me up, is that it?"

Your face is warm and flush, and you nod as you watch him with dazed and unfocused eyes.

"Interesting. To what end, I wonder?"

As he speaks, Welt subtly moves the cane between your thighs, enhancing the strangely stimulating sensation of it grinding against your clit. Your hips move in time, matching his rhythm and urging you steadily closer to your climax. The tension winds tight in your belly, your lips part as you softly sigh and moan your lover's name.

"You're... always so co-composed..."

Welt considers your reply, never easing the pressure at your clit.

"And you would like to see me... less composed, I take it?" you nod, he hums softly, "I see."

"Welt," you whine, the pace of your hips slowing as your thighs begin to tremble, "Ohh... mmmh, g-gonna-!"

With a shaky breath and a shudder down your spine, your head tilts back as you cum on the shaft of Welt's cane. Fuck- it's so depraved, a rush you'd only imagined in the quiet of your private quarters late at night. Now, your body trembles as your climax makes your nerves tingle and your legs feel weak. You can't imagine how shameless you must look in this moment. Yet Welt doesn't say a word as his cane vanishes, and his arm wraps under your backside.

He stands in one swift movement, lifting you in his arms and carrying you towards his bed. Soon enough, you're laid beneath him, both wrists pinned down under one of his hands. If you'd had time to collect your thoughts, they'd already be scattered again; he's looking at you in a way you've never seen before. A ravenous way that's so unlike the gentle, rational gaze you know.

"You wanted to break my composure?" he draws near, his breath hot against your face. His hips press between your thighs, and you feel his cock, rock hard and straining against his trousers, rutting firm against your soaked-through panties, "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to restrain myself enough to carry out my work each day? How hard it is to maintain this composure around you?"

"You..." you can barely speak, your skin feels like it's burning, "It never seems like..."

"Perhaps I have been too reserved, in my desire not to unduly pressure you," his voice lowers to a near-growl, "But let me make this perfectly clear. I want you every time you return from a mission. When I see you're safe, and I see that glow, the way you shine when you've accomplished your goal- I want to take you then and there against the windows and watch the stars reflect in your eyes while I fill you."

"We-Welt, I-"

"I want you when I see you talking and laughing with the others, and I feel so fortunate to have you that I want to make you cry out my name, just to remind myself that you're truly mine."

"Welt..!" you're desperate with arousal, and each word only compounds your growing need for him.

"I want you when you wear a new outfit. I want you when I sketch you. I want you when I can't sleep at night," his lower body grinds against you, forcing a breathy moan from your throat as his cock throbs between your lower lips, "I want you now- so badly that I'm not certain I can be as gentle with you as I'd like."

You can't breathe. Can't think. There's nothing- nothing but this man and his body and his lust and his heat between your thighs.

"Please..." you whisper.

Welt discards his glasses on the floor beside the bed, then tugs his shirt over his head to follow. It's uncharacteristically rushed and careless of him. In fact, he can't even be bothered to finish undressing either of you; he simply opens the front of his trousers and works his throbbing-hard cock from his boxer briefs, then tugs your underwear down your legs so forcefully you think he might tear them. He supports himself with his forearm on the pillow beside your head, while his free hand positions his massive length at your entrance. You feel the heat of his crown nestled between your folds, the tip pressed torturously against you. He exerts the last of his restraint to hold there while he hooks his arm under your knee and pulls your leg upward, spreading your thighs wider. Then, with a groan that resolves into a sigh of relief, he pushes into you.

"Fuck-!" your gasp is barely audible. He begins thrusting his hips immediately. Gone is all of the careful foreplay meandering towards gentle love-making. Finally, at long last, Welt is fucking you, with all of his strength and passion. Already, your head is swimming, your eyes rolling back as his thick cock stretches you around him, driving deeper and deeper with every urgent push of his body against yours. Your shirt is scrunched up beneath you, a single button at your bust struggling to hold fast while Welt ravages you against the mattress. Then, his lips are on yours, and he's kissing you with deep, open-mouthed erotic kisses that couldn't be further from his usual gentlemanly technique. He's hungry for you, greedy for your body and your kiss, and ready to truly claim you at last.

You don't even notice that he's no longer pinning you down until you realize your nails are dragging down his back. His abdomen tightens with every thrust, his shoulder muscles rhythmically tense. Briefly, you wonder at how he's able to keep in such incredible shape at his age- but the insistent pounding of his cock at your very deepest point hardly gives the impression of a man flagging with years. The tinge of pain as he hits your core is wonderful, each spark of it lighting a new fire to build upon the last. It only compounds with the pleasure of him utterly filling you, stroking a thousand different sensitive spots that only he has ever reached. Your pussy clings and squeezes around him, yet your prior orgasm and this ecstatic thrill of him fucking you so deep and hard have you more than wet enough to take him with all of this new forceful intensity. You gasp and moan for him freely, and he echoes your name in reply with that low, rasping tone of his that makes you ache.

The primal rush of it all has left your mind blissfully vacant. Your free leg- the one not still being held spread over Welt's arm- wraps around his hip, or his thigh, or some part of him. Once he's kissed you dizzy, his lips travel to the column of your neck, and little blooms of pain and pleasure across your skin tell you he must be marking you fiercely. He's panting into the crook of your neck, his thrusts a bit faster, a bit more erratic.

"So good..." he groans, "So... damn good. Don't know... how much longer I can..."

"Issokay," you breathe out in a daze, your fingernails digging into his shoulder blades, "Me... t-too..."

Welt's body pitches forward, tilting you back on the bed as he buries himself in you to the root. His hips shift just a little, just enough to feel more of that exquisite friction. The pressure of him filling you so completely seems to travel up through your center, and when he gasps out your name and begins to cum inside of you, the powerful throbbing of his shaft sends ripples through your entire body. You cum just as he does, head spinning and crying aloud for him as he pumps his heat into your waiting cunt. His cock twitches, pulses with his orgasm, and his head sinks down onto the pillow beside you as he releases your leg at last and wraps his arm instead around your midsection to hold you against him.

Seconds, maybe minutes pass in the blissful quiet of his bedroom. You each struggle to catch your breath, and you can hardly muster the strength to move your limbs. At last, Welt kisses you once more, briefly and sweetly, before pulling out from your sore and over-filled pussy, then slumping down onto the bed with you.

"Is that... What you had in mind?" Welt says with a subdued smile.

"uh-huh," you turn towards him on the bed, your fingertips idly grazing the line of his jaw, down towards his lips, "Though, it was way better in reality than I'd imagined."

Welt's smile broadens just a little, emphasizing the handsome creases near his eyes. His arm wraps around your waist.

"I think, perhaps, we ought to spend some time... Trading notes."

"Oh?" you settle more closely against him, still fluttery and giddy inside.

"I would hazard a guess that you have a few more ideas and desires that we haven't yet discussed. I certainly have no complaints about being seduced," he nudges your chin up with a hand and kisses you, slowly and tenderly. When he parts from you, his voice is low once more, "But for now, I want to know everything I can about how to satisfy you, utterly and completely. If it pleases you, then... I won't hold back anymore."

[hollowed-theory-hall]

been noticing something in the fandom lately well not lately I would say for the past couple or more years that the side characters who were considered underrated started getting more and more recognition which is a good thing not complaining. But as these side characters appreciation sky rocketed, Harry's on the other hand kept on declining ??? Its a little mind boggling to me that people are able to love the mc's bffs, mc's parents, wife, previous love interest, enemies, teachers so much...but not the mc himself ??? Weird that it almost feels like these folks dodged around harry while reading HIS story !!

Your blog gives me hope, more people should follow you. Seriously

Thank you so much! 💕

I'm glad you like my blog and I think there are more of us who love Harry than you might think.

I'm not, like, an expert on fandom culture in the HP fandom since I wasn't really active in it until recently, and even now I kinda have my bubble that likes Harry a lot. I mean, yes, there's the New Marauders Fandom that is notorious for mischaracterizing basically everyone and diminishing the og story for the sake of their own fanon, but I think the dislike of Harry's character in favor of side characters is older than that in the fandom. Like, I remember "Harry is so lame" and "Harry isn't that powerful" and "Hary's just Expeliarmus" talk from way back in the day like a decade ago. So, I don't think it's really new.

If I had to guess at a culprit to blame, I'd blame the movies.

Becouse movie Harry is all these things:

he has no personality (he has none of Harry's sass and anger and wit)

he's passive

he's lame

he's weak (both emotionally and magically)

and worse than all of the above — he's boring.

Like, everything the people who hate Harry say about him is true for movie Harry, but couldn't be further from the truth when it comes to his book counterpart. This is why Harry's characterization has always been the movies' greatest sin for me and I hope the new HBO tv show gets it right (though my hopes are pretty low). Like, I could forgive certain inaccuracies if they get the vibe of the world and the characters right — but movie Harry is a hate crime against me personally.

And while characters like Ginny and Ron also suffer in their movie portrayal, characters like Hermione, Neville, Luna, Draco, and Snape got interesting portrayals (if inaccurate to the books) which resulted in movie fans liking them more. Like, I don't think you could read the books without coming to the conclusion Harry is a great character, so... I'm blaming the movies and fans who only read fanfiction/watch the movies and never touched the books. Or ones who read the books a decade ago and don't necessarily remember anything from them and only know the fanon, that's also a possibility.

[willowisapillow]

👑🍑 Why Peach Is One Of My Favorite Comfort Characters 🍑👑

It’s Princess Peach Month, babes, and as a fangirl, I’m obligated to make a post like this become a reality. Feels quite sinful that I wasn’t able to jack for the month last year (aside from reposting some cringy fanart), but this year I’ll try and bring my A game this year. Was also inspired to make this post after reading some articles that are in defense of characters that are in a similar vein to Peach, like Daphne Blake and the Disney Princesses (specifically the classic ones like Snow White, Cinderella and Aurora).

Last year, I made a post where I partially went in defense of the pink diplomat, but for this post, I’m gonna go in full defense of her, and also why she’s personally special to me.

Now, where do I even begin? Imo, Peach has been one of the most unnecessarily lambasted, maligned, overhated but also misunderstood characters in not just Super Mario, video games, but also fiction as a whole.

One of the most talked about criticisms I hear about her is, “ShE’s UsElEsS, aNd Is aLwAyS bEiNg KiDnApPeD LiKe EvErY dAy”. While it kinda has become somewhat of a running gag in the series, I am willing to admit that she’s not always able to defend herself. However, I’m still here to say that’s she’s far from useless or weak, girlie clearly can defend herself, like- are y’all really forgetting the many times where she can be strong like in SM3DW, Mario + Rabbids, SMB2, SMBW, SMRPG, and so many other titles? Hell, are we really forgetting about the movie that literally just came out a year ago where she’s being a strong, dutiful leader, AND the fact that she has two solo starring games where it was her turn to save the day all by herself? Let’s also not forget the Smash Bros. series where she’s one of the highest ranked characters in three of the entries. And also, it’s not, “every day”, some of y’all need to stop exaggerating that 💀

Even when in captivity, she still manages to help out Mario by sneaking 1-Ups like in Mario Galaxy. It irks me with how stuff like this is often ignored in order to pigeonhole her into the damsel role, when she is strong in her own right. She doesn’t always get captured, and more people could understand this if they stopped degrading her for Bowser and Daisy’s actions.

Speaking of Daisy, another criticism that I hear about her is, “ShE’s A bAd FrIeNd To DaIsY, aNd BeTrAyEd HeR fOr RoSaLiNa.” Jesus H. Christ, this one genuinely makes my blood boil. Daisy is another one of my favorite characters in the series that is special to me, and it makes me upset with how her and Peach’s friendship is often portrayed in the fandom. Like, show me proof. Show me factual evidence that Peach “betrayed” Daisy that isn’t from fanart, fanfiction, animations, or anything else fanmade. This is giving the same vibes as, “Mario is a bad/abusive brother to Luigi” rumor that MatPat popularized and I hate it sm. And while we’re at it, can we not throw Rosalina under the bus, she herself gets an unnecessary and unneeded amount of hate already :/

Peach and Daisy are canonically BFFLs, and I hate hate hate how they’re usually portrayed as enemies. I remember seeing so much fanart back in the day where Daisy is bullying, fighting, or being straight up toxic towards Peach. I do see Daisy playfully teasing Peach and being competitive, but being toxic? No, honey, no 😣

And now moving on to my next criticism which is, “ShE’s ToO sTuPiD aNd GiRlY”. Aah yes, the whole, “being hyper feminine/girly is bad” trope, oh how I have not missed you. First of all, Peach is not stupid. Naive? Yes. But she’s no dumb blonde, or airhead, or ditz, or bimbo, or whatever the hell type of pejorative, misogynistic, blonde stereotype-based word you wanna throw at her. She’s clever, and has been able to use her smarts to outwit her captors. And newsflash, there's absolutely nothing wrong with loving traditionally feminine things like baking cakes, or fashion, or liking the color pink. It kinda rubs me the wrong way with how people remove the feminine aspects about Peach and the other things that make her special in order to have her be taken seriously. They just end up making her a Daisy clone. You can be both girly and badass too, y’know!

And here’s my final criticism that I hear about her, “ShE’s A sPoIlEd, StUcK uP bRaT wHo DoEsN’t CaRe AbOuT mArIo”. Look, just because she’s filthy stinking rich, doesn’t mean she’s a spoiled brat. This is yet another thing I see her being portrayed in fanmade stuff; spoiled, bratty, entitled, and bitchy, and I’m just here like, “Did y’all mistake her for Wendy, or?”. Peach is one of the sweetest, empathetic, selfless, and most wholesome characters in the series, and would never act like that.

But nope, pink = girliness, and girliness = bad, so that means we gotta make her a complete Karen/s

I get alternative character interpretations exists, but I feel like people use that as an excuse to deliberately demonize and flanderize characters for the sake of it -_-

As for Mario, have you guys even played any of the games? She clearly does love and care about him and is grateful for what he’s done for her. She thanks him for helping her, giving him kisses, baking cakes for him, and inviting him to fun places. If she “didn’t care about him”, then she wouldn’t be doing all the above mentioned stuff for him. And something I also forgot to mention in my Y2K Peach post is how people assume she has Stockholm Syndrome- which she doesn’t. She clearly doesn’t like Bowser, wants nothing to do with him, and shows 0 romantic interest in him, so how could she have Stockholm Syndrome lmao

Phew, glad I got all of that off my chest. Stuff like this has been bugging me for so long, so I’m glad to finally let it all out. Now I’m gonna explain why I find Peach to be one of my favorite comfort characters.

Ever since I was a small tot, I’ve always admired Peach. She was pretty, pink, super girly and ruled a whole damn kingdom. While she isn’t always strong, there are still times where she’s able to put her foot down and stand up for her friends and herself. She puts her subjects' needs before her own needs, and is basically a gentle soul. She’s also a jack of all trades, she’s not just a baker, but also a golfer, tennis player, kart racer, equestrian, and so much more. She’s also able to be patient with others, and sees the good in even the wickedest of people.

I especially loved playing as her in the Smash Bros. games, I’ve been a Peach main ever since the Brawl days. Her inclusion in the series just shows me that, even if you love doing unapologetically feminine things like wearing dresses, painting your nails, shopping, or cooking, you still matter. You’re still capable and strong in your own way, and you can still save the day. Embrace who you are. To this day, I still find this to be an empowering message that not just young girls, but anyone can resonate with. This is why Peach has always been a special character to me <3

Apologies if I kinda went into, “I’m 14 and this is deep” territory, but that’s just what I truly feel about Peach. She’s no damsel in distress, or a pretty face, or a walking talking prize, she’s much much more than that. She’s one of the best characters, and deserves better not just in the games, but in the fandom as well.

I’m probably gonna get crucified and clowned on for this, but Idc, I spoke my truth 😤

Before I leave, if you still dislike Peach after reading this post, that’s perfectly fine, just make sure to keep the comments respectful and please don’t start any flame wars. Thank you 💕

Thank you all for reading my needlessly long and unhinged defense of one of my favorite Princess characters, and I hope you all have a good day or night, and make sure to stay safe out there ✌️

👑 🍑 👑

[re-re-redline]

-Yandere Headcanons: Constantine XI-

No Spoilers for Traum

Foreword: Sooo… This may seem a tad bit jarring. However! I implore anyone who is unsure to please give this a chance. Think of this as just adding a new texture to the cube we’re rotating in our minds. It’ll be a solid thought exercise and it’ll add a new dimension to Constantine’s character. Why do I say this? Well. This list of headcanons isn’t framed as though Micheal just up and went yandere one day or that this is a brand new universe where he just is one. Nope. I shall describe how Constantine becomes a monster and then we’ll branch off into a more…guide-esque list of things to know, like the Romance Headcanons. I think that’d be much more interesting than the alternatives.

Hehe, if the RHCs were the guide to getting his route and the CHCs being the true ending, then this is definitely the bad ending. Perhaps the worst ending, even.

Convinced? I’d hope so! But I should mention, that since these are yandere headcanons… Gore, drugging, kidnapping, abuse, references to suicide, and obsessive behavior are on the ticket in terms of warnings. So if you are not comfortable, please exit and perhaps peruse my other headcanons if you feel so inclined. I have made a lil’ masterlist in my pinned post for my other written works for the sake of convenience.

I would also like to state that I do not condone any of this behavior and this is purely for entertainment and fanfiction reasons.

That being said, I hope you all enjoy.

How The Hell Did This Happen?

There is a specific kind of master who would drive our friend here off the deep end simply by following their heart. That very specific kind of master would be none other than…a hero of justice. The type of individual who values the lives of others more than their own and will stop at nothing to save everybody, that is the master who would end up with this version of Constantine unintentionally.

Constantine, after losing everything a very long time ago, has but only one thing to live for and that is none other than you. You are the most important person in his life right now, not only because he needs you to stay materialized, but because of what you represent. You are one of the last humans on earth, you are the one who’s going to save the world and humanity’s future. You are, in no uncertain terms, proof that there is hope in this paper white nightmare. If Constantine can help you achieve your goal, then maybe…just maybe his people, his family—God even, can forgive him for what he did all those centuries ago. It’s a selfish reason to put in his a-game and he knows it, but you don’t have to know that. You don’t have to know that he’s using his newfound contract with you to obtain forgiveness for his sins. But fear not. As time moves forward and he gets to know you, he realizes that his initial reasoning has been outshined by a fondness for his master and a desire to see you well—to see you happy, and such affections are what twist the knife when it comes to your way of being.

Your heroic personality, while coming from a good place, is something that often leads to you getting injured. Almost to the brink of death at times. And try as he may to prevent it, you just can’t help yourself but tackle one of your servants out of the way when the ‘need’ arises. He’s been on the receiving end of one of your rushes more times than he can count and he feels just as terrible and confused as the first time it happened. He just doesn’t get it. Why is someone as normal and weak as you on the frontlines putting in their everything when you have such powerful servants to fight for you? Why are you trying so hard to protect them when it’s you who’s liable to die if the wind so much as blows the wrong way? Why are you denying him his purpose—his chance at forgiveness and throwing it right back in his face by letting yourself get hurt like this? He doesn’t understand it. Fuck, the more time he spends with you on the field the less he thinks he understands you as a person.

Eventually, he’ll get so sick of having to practically carry your limp form to the infirmary all the time that he’ll grip you by the shoulders one day before you go out and sternly tell you to stay behind him or there will be consequences. This is the most bold and stern he’s ever been with you since his summoning, so you bet your ass that he’s not playing around this time. Now knowing ‘you,’ you’re probably going to at least give the idea the good old college try before saying fuck it and reverting back to your old ways. We wouldn’t be able to continue otherwise.

This is the starting incident, this is what you can point to later on and say “Ah, so that’s where it all went wrong.” Granted, this is not the point of no return. You still have time to get out and back onto the right track. Just know that Constantine won’t be letting you pull this kind of shit as freely as you used to and so long as you genuinely try to get better, then this scenario will not come to pass.

But getting better is not what we’re here for, so let’s talk about what happens after this incident. After you’re taken care of, Micheal heads back to his room to ruminate on things. He starts asking himself the real questions like: “Why are you like this? What happened to you to make you think that this is okay? Is he the problem? Is he not doing enough? Do you not think he or anyone else is capable of protecting you?” So on and so forth until he gets tired and decides to sleep on it.

The next day is when he pulls you aside to have a serious conversation addressing three of those questions. Depending on the master, the answers could be any number of things. You could be someone who lost their loved ones and are coping with the survivor’s guilt by throwing yourself in front of anybody you can find to assuage your guilt. You could be someone who never had a family or friends to begin with and found that love here at Chaldea which prompted you to hold every last person here as close to your chest as you can in fear of losing that warmth. Maybe you were raised by someone with such values and this is the only way you know how to do things, leaving you unable to fathom the idea of being saved. Or maybe… Maybe you’re using this ‘hero of justice’ thing to obfuscate your true intentions. Maybe you just want to die but don’t have the heart to do it yourself or be held responsible for it, so you play up the guise of a self sacrificing hero to accomplish that goal without taking any of the blame. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Whether you disclose your reasoning or not is, ultimately, irrelevant for this scenario. It’d be heartwarming for you both to have a moment here and for him to allude to his own struggles to help you feel like you’re not alone. To tell you that you have him at your side and while he may not either know or completely understand what you’re going through, he’s here for you and he’s struggling alongside you all the same. He’s here when you need him, in any capacity that you need him. That would be such a nice ending, wouldn’t it? Dare I say it’d make for an excellent longfic. …But that’s not what we’re here for. So, let’s take whatever moment you did or did not have and forget it because it doesn’t matter. You’re not going to change, and that’s what pulls us forward.

Time passes and Constantine can only find himself helplessly watching you slowly whittle yourself away. After the inciting conversation, he had tried several times after to talk to you and to get you to see his everyone else’s perspective. He tries telling you about how much it hurts him others to watch you get hurt like this all the time. How he everyone is constantly worried about you and he’s they’re terrified of the day that you’ll crumble in on yourself. Notice how he never directly tells you about his own feelings, he frames all of his statements as coming from everyone else with the barest implication that he feels the same. This isn’t the Confession Headcanons scenario where he wants to be a more honest person, Micheal still has his head up his ass and refuses to let you see the true extent of how much you’re hurting him. The man himself doesn’t see anything wrong with this, but you with your lacking knowledge of the man’s inner workings don’t see the why behind it. Instead it comes off as him being self-righteous and lecturing you about something he seemingly doesn’t care for considering how he never references himself. It looks like he’s talking out of his ass about shit he knows nothing about and is nagging you for the sake of nagging you. A more keen eyed master would call him out for being a hypocrite since he does the same thing that you do but for some reason believes himself to be in the right since he’s a servant and that this is his job. With such harsh words and misunderstandings, the friendship between you two is beginning to strain. But with Constantine’s attachment to you as a person and his original ulterior motive, he isn’t giving up on you just yet.

If he can’t get you to change of your own volition, then he’ll just have to change you himself. This is where the yandere part begins coming to fruition, though it should be noted that this all started with good intentions. The plan was to get you to realize that it’s not a bad thing to rely on others by forcing you to accept his assistance. Once he’s gotten you to realize that it’s not only okay to allow it but that it can also feel good to have that weight lifted off your shoulders it’ll, in turn, warm you up to letting your servants and himself protect you, thus minimizing the amount of injuries you receive on sorties. Like I said, good intentions.

But the proverbial snowball has already started rolling downhill, gaining mass and speed. While this is not the point of no return, if things don’t change substantially on your end then you can kiss the true ending goodbye. That being said, let’s continue as though such improvements never happened.

His plan starts off small. He waits for you outside your room in the morning one day and walks with you to the cafeteria to eat breakfast. You grab your tray and he grabs his, the two of you walking over to get your respective meals. Normally you two would've split off, but today is different. Constantine walks with you to wherever you’re going and just when you’re about to reach for what you want, Micheal beats you to the punch and puts it on your plate. He does this for every item and upon questioning, he simply smiles and tells you that he just felt like it.

Slowly but surely, Constantine starts doing things for you. He was already helping you out before with small things like holding the door for you or helping you carry things, but it’s never been this…invasive. Thanks to the time you two have spent together, Micheal has a decent grip on being able to predict your next move or what you’d want. He’s not nearly as observant or looking nearly as hard at you as a certain sultan does, but it’s enough for his little plan to function in the beginning.

But as time goes on and you remain unchanged, still tactlessly throwing yourself to the wolves, Constantine ups his game a bit more. He slowly starts encroaching into your routine, popping up out of the blue to assist you with things you never once asked for help for. Thus you see him much more often than ever before and he learns more about you, your strained friendship seemingly starting to heal in your eyes with how kind Constantine is being. What you don’t realize is that you’re slowly being boiled like the frog you’ve heard so much about in that one analogy. This isn’t healing, this is something twisted and it’s slowly encircling you.

On Constantine’s end, he’s surprisingly having a great time. While he didn’t think that it’d be a chore to pull this off, he also didn’t think that he’d be enjoying himself as much as he is either. There’s something about getting you food everyday, helping you fold and hang up your clothes, and walking you to places that stirs something within his heart. It makes him feel warm and fulfilled but try as he might, he just can’t put a name to it. But I can, and the word he’s purposefully ignoring—because that would mean admitting that he has a problem—is domesticity. There’s an inherent domestic quality to those actions and it scratches the itch he’s had for decades, his desire for a family. If he doesn’t see you as the spouse he misses dearly, then he’ll see you as the child he never got to have.

His chance at being a husband and a father were ripped from him twice over, and to add salt onto the wound his best friend got his own family with none of the agony that Constantine had to go through. He’d sit there burying his fingernails into his palms in envy as George would talk on and on in glee about his wife and his kids, unknowingly rubbing Constantine’s loss in his face. But don’t get it twisted, Constantine did feel happy for George and was all around thankful that his best friend didn’t have to lose anything, hell, he was even the godfather to George’s kids and pitched in to take care of them when he could. But there was an underlying envy all the same and now that he’s getting the domesticity he’s been dreaming of, Constantine can’t help but want more.

So he takes it.

The word encroaching no longer suits his actions as he’s practically inserting himself into your routine so thoroughly to the point where every part of your schedule involves him in some capacity. At this point, you’ve probably already gotten used to Constantine constantly being around you, so you barely notice his increased presence. This is no longer about helping you learn to accept aid from others, this is now an attack on your independence. The sweet allure of having, in an entirely roundabout way, the life he could only dream of has made him selfish. Constantine’s new objective is to make you dependent on him for nearly everything. This way he’ll always have a place by your side and he’ll never be pushed aside in favor of something or someone else. He’ll take care of you, just like any husband or father would do and you’ll always be loved by him. You’ll never want for anything ever again because you’ll have Constantine and that’ll be all you’ll need, plus he’s sure that you’re all he needs too. So you’ll never have to worry about being replaced. This is his twisted idea of a domestic life that no one can take from him, a domestic life that’s for him and him alone. A nice ‘happy ending’ that was long overdue, but was achieved through forcing you to be dependent on him for everything and suffocating you with his presence. How sad what Constantine has become and what he’s turned you into.

What Kind of Yandere is He?

What I would first like to reiterate and clearly state for the people in the back is that Yandere!Constantine is entirely preventable. This is not the inevitable conclusion to his character in relation to you but rather a direct result of your actions or lack thereof. The consequences—the quencies even, to your actions if you will.

That being said, Constantine XI as a yandere is not one of the worst to have but definitely not the best. You’d live pretty comfortably…to an extent. Your personal freedom, independence and free time have all been commandeered by Micheal but at least you’re not locked in the basement or dealing with broken bones. On the bright side, at least you don’t have to put much effort into anything thanks to Constantine’s suffocating presence. So lazy masters can rejoice at only having to put only half of the work into things. Plus, with the way he goes about changing your life, you might not even notice it in the first place! So, uh, take those wins where you can get them.

As for what he is as a yandere��� Well, for the sake of having a direction, I’ll state the archetype he’d fit under and elaborate further. He’s the overprotective-possessive type of yandere who starts off not that bad but has the potential to get so, so much worse. Let’s start with the first half of that statement.

Constantine before this scenario was already a protective man, it’s practically baked into his Spirit Origin for crying out loud, but it’s cranked up to an eleven here. The way that he sees things and other people has been twisted by his decline in sanity thanks to none other than you. He hurts so bad when you push him out of the way to take a hit that was meant for him and the repetition of this happening along with the fact that he’s consistently failing to protect you is what got the ball rolling in the first place. So. In an effort to prevent that scenario from happening, Constantine has gotten much more brutal in battle. He always had an air of class and elegance in his fighting style that befit his title of Roman Emperor, but now? Now he’s fighting like he’s going to die in five minutes and is trying to take as many people as he can down with him. He also talks significantly less as a result of this change, only breaking his silence to bark orders or check to see if everyone’s okay. If anyone comes up to him after the dust settles and asks what’s up with him than he’ll ‘sheepishly’ apologize and state that he’s just taking things more seriously now, so don’t take it too personal, ‘kay? …This shift, as time goes on, will also apply outside of battle but not in the way that you’d think.

Let me give an example to illustrate. Say Constantine was heading to your room to get you something you forgot and in there he finds…oh, I dunno, Kiyohime? Really, any person who’s in your room when they’re not supposed to be works... But anyways, he finds her and in the event that she doesn’t leave when he asks her to… Well that’s when things get ugly. Instead of gently dragging her out or calling for aid like he’d normally do, Constantine immediately engages her. And the resulting fight is a mess with Micheal not holding anything back and Kiyohime presumably doing the same. The battle will only end if Kiyohime flees, Constantine gets his ass beat, or a third party ends it for them. If an outsider were to watch the scene unfold, they’d think Constantine was really trying to kill her.

His brutality on the battlefield has leaked into his time off it with the way he treats everyone in relation to you. Bad influences, dangerous people, nosy and peeping toms—they all get the axe equally, which would make one question if he really sees his fellow servants as allies or not. …Which they aren’t, of course. They’re either problems he has to ‘correct’ on a daily basis or your subordinates who he fights with occasionally. They pale in comparison to you, the unfortunate subject of his obsession with the life he never got to have. This dehumanization is something that comes slowly and the man himself doesn’t quite realize how he’s drifted off from his friends and acquaintances. But that’s fine. He has you and he only needs you, likewise that you have him and need only him, right?

Sooner or later, Constantine’s usual paranoia regarding the fact that you might die soon will have morphed into a general distrust for anyone that isn’t himself or you, and that manifests in several different ways but namely…

Possessiveness. There are quite a few servants who boldly proclaim their undying love for you and it makes him sick with jealousy. How dare these people who barely know you act like they’re a better fit for you than him? He’s your protector, your wall and the one you cling onto at all times when you’re in distress. The only person who is allowed to have you is him because he earned it and you prefer him over everyone else anyways, right? …Right?

While anyone could be the source of the green in his eyes, there is one servant who he constantly curses because they are for you what he is not. And that servant is none other than your kouhai, Mash. She is your first servant, your closest friend and has been with you since the very beginning. Your tight bond with Mash and the implicit trust that comes with it far outshines what he had with you in the beginning and has with you now. Even if everyone else in your life despises you or you despise everyone else (which he’d like very much), there will always be a spot for Mash. Mash will always be there for you and the profound impact she’s had on you cannot be understated. Bad as that is, he also envies her for her class and what that class represents.

Shielder. The physical embodiment of protection, the ultimate bulwark and the class that specializes solely in defense. That class should be his and yet here Constantine is as a Rider. His final years on earth were devoted solely to saving Rome and he put his everything—blood, sweat, and tears into it. Yes, he did fail in the end but that shouldn’t disqualify him from being one! …It’s not fair. It’s not fair that Mash was handed this class on a silver platter (not true) for doing nothing (very not true) while he’s stuck as a Rider for doing everything he could and failing!

Needless to say that Constantine, despite knowing deep down that it’s not possible, will be trying to drive a wedge in between you two and his deep envy for Mash is making him less subtle about it. He’s visibly stiff and passive aggressive around her, not even sparing your kouhai a glance. The tension in the room could only be cut with a saw due to the difference in how softly he treats you versus Mash. It’s awkward for everyone involved and Micheal hopes that this awkwardness is enough to get you to give up on her. He is all the protection you could ever need, just look at his Noble Phantasm. How many servants do you know who can break through it? Not that many.

There is also something to be said about how his usual denial is doing in this scenario. See, not once did the thought that Constantine may be hurting you or making you worse ever cross his mind. Constantine’s actions come from a genuine place of love and care, a desire to see you happy and well. That has not changed and will never ever change. Seriously. He loves you to an extremely unhealthy degree and cannot imagine being without you or hurting you. …That being said, he doesn’t think himself to be the bad guy in this scenario. He’s so deeply entrenched in the euphoria of having a spouse again or a child that his morality and conscience were eroded in record time. This ‘domesticity’ has made his denial so bad that nothing he does to you is a bad thing and is beneficial for you in his mind. Constantine is a good man, always has been and always will be. Forgiveness? For what, he can’t quite recall. Though that word does invoke a rather strong sense of melancholy for reasons that our friend here doesn’t care enough to look further into. He has you, and that’s better than any forgiveness he could receive from anybody.

What is Expected?

Since there is a section ahead specifically addressing the romantic aspects of this scenario, I’ll be focusing on the more general ones here since Constantine as a yandere can be platonic.

Let’s start off by listing what we do know so far. He’s virtually glued to your hip, he’s coddling you to high hell and back with how he’s barely letting you do anything yourself, he’s low-key menacing people away from you, and he’s mauling anything that even remotely threatens your safety or his bond with you. That’s…well, it could be worse. No basement and all that, but again it’s not that good either.

The more time that passes, the more Constantine’s stuff ends up in your room. Like, he’ll give you a blanket, you’ll take it back to your room and when you give it back he’ll just tell you to keep it so you won’t be cold. Then he’ll be chilling in your room another day playing chess with you and when you pack up the board and hand it to him, he’ll just tell you to keep it there since you’re his chess partner and it’ll be more convenient in the future. Constantine frames this as him helping you, which he does truly believe, but really it’s just his subtle way of telling anyone entering your room that he’s the one with the privileges and his spot is right next to you and there is nothing they can do about it. You and him are really, really close is the message that he wants to send.

It’ll get to a point where your room consists of 50% or more of Constantine’s stuff. An outsider could easily mistake you two for roommates because of how natural it looks. Not only that, he’ll also start being in there more than in his own room and the sleeping bag on the floor proves it.

Now, while I have been saying that Micheal is with you all the time, he does have the inherent decency to respect your personal space and wishes as long as they don’t involve him being too far away from you. You could ask him to face away from you and not look at you, he’ll comply. You could ask him to hide under the bed to at least give you the illusion that you’re alone and he’ll comply. You could hide in the closet or the bathroom and so long as he knows you’re in there, he won’t bother you. …At least until you need to eat or do stuff and even then he won’t be sour about it.

The sleeping bag also proves that he respects your space because, while he never asked to sleep in your room, he never laid on your bed or even considered sleeping in it in the first place. He just assumed that you wouldn’t want him there. Now, if you offer it to him and say that you’ll sleep on the floor instead, he’ll deny you immediately. He says that he’s accustomed to sleeping on hard surfaces, as any military official should, and that the bed is better for you. Now, if your bed isn’t bolted to the floor, then he wouldn’t mind getting a bunkbed if you’re really feeling guilty about him on the floor. Just…don’t call dibs on the bottom bunk. He doesn’t feel comfortable being so close to the ceiling.

In terms of being coddled, independent masters are going to be in hell. He feeds you your food, he helps you put your coat on in the morning, he’ll cut you off when you’re halfway through writing a report and tells you to say what you were going to write next so he can write it for you, he insists on being the one to push the crosswalk button and he’ll hold your hand as you both cross the street—hell, this is a living hell for the self-sufficient because you are almost always going to be helped with something whether you like it or not. The first time you decline him, well he’ll just think you’re being cute and he’ll insist. The second is when he tells you that you don’t have to be shy, he’s happy to help. The third is when he tells you that there’s no shame in accepting help—ugh, so on and so forth. He’ll just keep gently poking and prodding you to give in and accept his help, not a grain of anger in sight. It’s so unintentionally patronizing that you’d almost want him to actually lash out at you so you don’t have to hear any more of his self-righteous cooing. And the worst part is that he genuinely believes that you’re just being super cute and shy about it. This isn’t an act, he’s being sincere and he’s loving every single second of this. This invasive and suffocating form of doting and care comes from a twisted mix of his Acts of Service love language and his desire for the domestic life that was stolen from him. After all, what’s more domestic than a father or a husband taking care of their loved one?

I’ve already gone into it in the previous section, but I’d like to add that Micheal is fully capable of murdering any of your servants and depending on who’s in your roster, he’d probably get away with it. This is, of course, a last resort. For all his madness, Constantine is still himself. He takes no joy in harming others and it brings him pain. But, you and his continued bond with you is worth the lives of an innumerable amount of people in his eyes. So if there really is a substantial threat to that, then he isn’t going to hesitate in removing that person from the mortal plane. Easiest decision he’s made, the weight of which will be lifted when he returns to your side once more.

It’d be comical how he destroys any slight threat to you if he wasn’t so utterly cold and ruthless about it. There is barely anything left of whatever tried to attack you, just a pool of blood and some chunks to indicate that there was, in fact, a pile of meat there. It’s a far cry from how he normally fights things and his usual ‘scaring away the hoes’ vibe that normally goes unnoticed in Chaldea has intensified to a degree that’s on par with the atmospheric shift in the second section of “What it Means to Protect You.” It’s THAT bad. To make things more unnerving, the moment he turns to look at you when the dust settles, he’s back to his ‘usual’ self and that aura has disappeared completely. He’s giving Okita a run for her money with how effortlessly he swaps from being Emperor Constantine XI back to your friend Micheal.

Now, if he detects that you’re starting to become afraid of him (and after seeing that who wouldn’t), then he’ll tone it down as best as he can. The denial is strong, but not strong enough for him to not be aware of the fact that he might be scaring you. In that event, he’ll gently grab you by the shoulders and swear to you that he’ll never ever hurt you like that. It’s just for your enemies and your enemies alone. …Whether this is a true statement or not ultimately depends on what the future holds.

How Do You Deal With Him?

This is surprisingly very easy. Just go along with it. You don’t have to love him back, you don’t have to coddle him in return, you just have to play along with his fantasy and you’ll be fine. Er… By you, I mean to say the people around you. See, Constantine will never attribute the fault to you and especially not to himself. It’s always something or someone else’s fault that anything bad happens. So. If you’re constantly acting out and trying to avoid him, it’s 100% someone sabotaging him and manipulating you. And when he finds this person, they’ll either be afraid of interacting with you in any capacity beyond work or they’ll be dead by the end of the month. The worst part is that the ‘culprit’ may not even exist and he just picks whoever has been pissing him off the most recently and applies the crime to them instead to have an excuse to get them out of his way. While denying that he’s murdering someone for petty reasons, of course. Does it make sense? Absolutely not. Is is supposed to? Absolutely not. We’re too far into the bad end route to be applying rationale to Micheal’s actions, he’s not sane and his composure is an illusion to hide how volatile he really is. That’s just the reality of this scenario.

So, as a general piece of advice, try not to hang out with the people you like the most because they’ll be one of the first on the chopping block when that scenario happens. Just roll with it and nobody has to get hurt or die. …From your direct actions, at least. And a bit of rebellion isn’t that bad anyways since it’s incredibly hard to piss him off for real. Like, you’d have to know some incredibly deep cuts on Micheal to actually pierce through that thick rose tinted pane covering his eyes to make him angry. But even then it’d just lead to him sulking in the corner for an hour before the denial kicks in and he just blocks out the memory of what you said to him. So you can’t even have that for yourself either.

What is the Best Case Scenario?

The best case scenario is just the two of you living out your lives together. Somehow, you’ve managed to balance keeping your loved ones close enough to be in your life still but not too close as to warrant Constantine icing them while you’re sleeping. If you know Constantine’s tells then you can ping when he’s starting to feel jealous and pivot away from your pals in time to make the save. Our friend here will notice this and, while not directly expressing it, he’s glad that you’re being considerate about his feelings. So do expect him to be softer afterwards, which before this one probably wouldn’t have thought it possible for him to get any softer than he is.

What is the Worst Case Scenario?

Oh-ho-ho-hoh! You can’t see me right now, but I am rubbing my hands sinisterly. I have been waiting for this and I hope to be able to properly convey just how terrible things can get with our boi.

I’ve stated from the very beginning that this is all your fault. You brought this onto yourself and you are now lying on the bed you’ve made, absolutely none of this had to come into fruition. A 100% bonafide preventable tragedy. However… The one thing that ISN’T a direct result of your actions is the Worst Case Scenario. This Worst Case Scenario is caused by none other than the world around you and once it happens, there is no going back to the way things were. You’ll have well and truly lost the path to a better ending as you have reached the logical conclusion to Constantine’s line of thinking.

The game has acknowledged—to my knowledge—very subtly that time has a potential to be fucked. For example, Oberon has a summoning line for before LB6 is cleared, Qin Shi Huang has a line for before LB3 is cleared and so does Koyanskaya of Light for Tunguska Sanctuary. Now, why am I pointing this out? Well, in truth, the Worst Case Scenario doesn’t have to occur in Part 2. This could be reached as early as the 7th Singularity if he’s there. So really, it could be anytime when it happens and that’s the scary part about this scenario. You have no idea when it’s going to happen or how or why, it’s just going to happen and there is nothing you can do to prevent it. So for the sake of putting you in the shoes of this poor soul, allow me to simply show a watered down play-by-play of an example and I’ll add my commentary after.

Yet another close victory for humanity with the fall of the sixth Lostbelt, but fate is nothing if not impatient. The alarm sounds and the next target is in Tunguska, Russia. Everyone, staff and servants alike, rush to the Command Room for answers. Before Da Vinci and Sion can brief everyone on the situation, they notice that someone is not among them. Usually, this person is one of the first to get here in times like these but for reasons unknown, they aren’t. Upon closer inspection, another person is also not among them as well.

Mash and a few others split off to go find them but they come up empty handed. The entire base is turned upside down, but no sign of either person is found anywhere, it’s as though they both had vanished out of thin air. What they do find is in the room with the Klein Coffins, which before today was taped off for maintenance in accordance with renovations.

It’s a complete mess. Every control panel and screen was smashed into pieces with several Klein Coffins in an even worse condition than both. …Save for two, of course. The light on the inside told everyone what they needed to know.

Two people ravaged the room and two people somehow rayshifted despite the systems being down for maintenance. No one quite wanted to believe it since it was so…out of character for either person. They wouldn’t just run off like this, would they?

Thus, in an effort to manifest a different answer, the loudspeaker rings out in the halls:

“███████ and Kōnstantînos XI report to the Command Room immediately. ███████ and Kōnstantînos XI report to the Command Room immediately.”

…But no one arrives.

To find out where you and Constantine went, one need only look back several hours into the past.

You were in your room, going over what materials you were going to farm tomorrow for the new arrivals you had summoned. After finishing writing down that list, you walked over to the door to set out for a late-night snack. Upon opening it you see a familiar, yet surprised face.

“Ah! Thank goodness you’re here. I was worried you were already asleep.”

It was your close friend Constantine and he was looking out of breath. He was in his second ascension and carrying with him a satchel that reminded you of Nightingale. The look on his face was…well, it was normal on him usually but something about it tonight was off. The small smile on his lips was something you saw often and felt comfort from, but now? Right here and right now, it was disconcerting. You brush it off and greet him as you usually did before attempting to move past him. He unexpectedly grips your forearm, not enough to hurt but enough to tell you to stay put.

“Ah… Master, I’m sorry to cut into your plans but miss Kyrielight has called a meeting in the Command Room for a mandatory training exercise. Apparently she’s worried sick about our performance concerning the previous campaign. Follow me.”

He moves his grip from your forearm to your hand and starts speedily walking in that direction, dragging you with him. You didn’t question the sudden exercise, the way he practically had to spit out your kouhai’s name, or how pushy he was being. This was Constantine, after all. He’s one of the most trustable people in Chaldea, right up there with Mash.

Thanks to the time of day, that being the wee hours of the night, neither of you bumped into anyone and you both reached the Command Room and the adjacent room with the coffins.

He grabbed the handle and pulled the door back, taking several steps aside to do so. He gestures with his hand for you to enter first, like he always does.

The room would have been pitch black had it not been for the lights of the coffins and various pieces of technology dimly shining in the dark. This lack of light did well to obscure the yellow tape and sign on the floor that was removed only a few minutes before Constantine had met up with you, and you were none the wiser to the truth of the situation. The Rider behind you being the reason why your internal alarm bells have rusted over.

You walked in, expecting Mash to be hiding in here somewhere only to find…a sharp pain on the back of your head. Your knees buckle from the shock and pain of receiving such a blow, your limp body being caught mere moments after by a strong arm. You feel a pinch in your neck and just before your consciousness fades to black, you hear a familiar voice whisper.

“Sleep well, Master. I’ll be here when you wake.”

There it is! He did the thing—the yandere thing! He actually fucking kidnapped you. Hehe, my excitement aside, let’s get into what happened.

So. As we’re all aware, LB6 was the biggest shitshow to date. Thus, after having been put through the wringer himself, watching you run around like a chicken with its head missing after being separated from Mash and then getting put through the wringer yourself, Constantine had officially reached his limit with Chaldea.

In hindsight, he’s not sure why he didn’t remove you from that horrible place earlier. Sure, it was basically your home and it had everyone you cared about, but is that really worth everything you’ve had to go through? Is that really worth your life? Obviously not. Constantine knew that but decided to let you be anyways and he’s drawing a blank as to why. What his tunnel vision is obscuring from him is that he had friends there too and he stayed there for them. Vlad III, his predecessors, Don Quixote and Sancho, Saint Martha, Jeanne, Saint George, Charlotte Corday, Johanna—all of the new friends he’s made compelled him previously to stay.

…But that changed upon the realization that the family he yearned to have was right in front of him the whole time. Slowly, people faded into the background and became as colorless and indistinct as the landscape outside. His time with his friends lessened and lessened until the only person he’d seek out willingly was you. Everyone else was either a set piece, a necessary evil or just in the way of his time with you. Friends? What are you talking about? George isn’t here, Constantine has no friends. But he does have a family and that consists of you—as either his spouse or child—and himself. There is no one else present, they’ve been dead for centuries. But that’s okay! A family can be two people. He just has to make it work. Dedication is all it takes, after all.

So. You wake up a little bit woozy and the first thing you notice is that your dominant hand feels lighter than usual. Not a good start. When you lift that hand to inspect it, you are greeted with the horror that your dominant hand is missing and all that’s left is a bandaged stump. Now, missing hand aside, the key take away is that your Command Spells are now gone. Fan-fucking-tastic.

Before you could start panicking at the fact that you’re missing a hand, Constantine and… Constantine? enter the room. The former practically bursting in and rushing to your side with the latter tagging along behind him in slight confusion. The former pulls you into a hug and tries to calm you down while the latter looks at you from his spot at the foot of the bed with an unreadable expression.

When you do calm down, your vision clears and you get a better understanding of what’s going on. The man that’s holding you has short black hair and that red armor you’re familiar with, plus he’s talking to you in a very familiar manner and calling you ‘Master’ so you can deduce that he’s your Constantine. The man at the foot of your bed has longer hair and is dressed in more comfortable yet regal clothes, he hasn’t spoken a word since he entered, so he’s probably past Constantine. So. If there are two Constantine’s in front of you, then that means that you’re in the 1400s. Judging by the fact that these two look exactly the same, save for the length of their hair, means that the year is somewhere close to the end of Constantine’s life since the other one doesn’t look younger than your Constantine.

That’s all the deduction you can get before your Constantine starts explaining things.

Why’s your hand missing? Your dominant hand was developing necrosis due to overuse of your Command Spells and Constantine had to amputate it to prevent you losing your whole arm.

Where are you? In Constantinople in 1449. He was told by Da Vinci and Sion to rayshift you as far away from Chaldea as he could get you because they were fending off a raid from the last Crypter, Daybit Sem Void.

Who’s that over there? His living self. He managed to convince him of his identity by answering some very personal questions and enlightening him about the future. He’s agreed to let the both of you chill here as long as Constantine pitches in with his knowledge of the future to send the Ottomans away.

Anyone who’s been paying attention will immediately know that Constantine told the truth in the first half of his second answer before lying through his teeth in the second half about why you’re here. His first answer has a grain of truth lodged in their with the poor condition of your hand but the necrosis part was a lie. The third answer is the whole and complete truth.

What really happened to your hand was—and The man himself is too far gone to admit this to himself, let alone register that this was the real reason—Micheal cut it off because he didn’t want you using Command Spells to boss him around or force him to kill himself in the event you realize that he’s been lying to you. That’s why, right after you were hit on the back of your head, Constantine pulled a syringe from that satchel he had with him and plunged it into your neck. That was anesthesia to null the pain for when he’d amputate your hand. And for anyone who’s wondering, no, he didn’t saw it off. He had one of his phantoms (the ones you see in some of his attacks) hold your hand up and he took his sword to cut it off in a single strike. Cmon’ he may be off the deep end, but Constantine at least has the decency to make it quick.

Anyways…you’re basically trapped in the Great Palace of Constantinople with your servant, Constantine and his living counterpart. For the sake of clarity, our Rider friend will be lovingly referred to as Micheal until this section ends. Basically…not much has changed aside from the fact that you’re now on an indefinite vacation and your dominant hand is missing.

Constantine, when he has the time, summons you to his side and tries to get to know you. When Micheal first got here and had convinced his past self of his identity, he told Constantine that you are very, very important to him. Now, depending on how he sees you, Micheal will either refer to you as his spouse or his adopted child which intrigues Constantine. He basically wants to see what’s got his future self so enamored and after he spends a few months with you, he does see what Micheal’s getting at and is feeling similar but not nearly as twisted feelings. While not nearly as bad as his servant counterpart, Constantine is very protective of you. He did lose Caterina (his 2nd wife) and his unborn child seven years ago, so while the wound isn’t fresh, it still hurts. He also dotes on you in his own way which may seem like not much but it’s the most he can do without attracting rumors.

Your room is the comfiest and least damaged, the servants and staff are ordered to treat you with the same amount of respect and attentiveness they would a foreign ambassador because of the fact that you are with Constantine’s ‘body double’ Micheal, gifts with no name attached end up in your room at random times and a prosthetic for your missing hand is in the works. Not bad. While he does have to maintain a heavy amount of imperial decorum, Constantine does care a lot about you and makes sure to let you know that in the rare times he gets alone with you.

Now, you might be asking: “Hey, wait a minute. Isn’t Micheal going to get jealous of Constantine like he does with everyone else?” And the answer is surprisingly no. Micheal isn’t jealous of himself and Constantine likewise, they’re both the same dude so in their minds there’s nothing to be worried about. Plus it’s much more beneficial to have two rather than one.

So, in summary… Chaldea is in shambles trying to repair the other Klein Coffins to find you in time before Koyanskaya does her thing, Micheal kidnapped you to 1449 Constantinople and cut off your hand while you were out, you have two Constantine’s doting on you with the living one being more stable and normal about you than the other, and finally Micheal and Constantine are working together to rewrite the future and save Constantinople from the Ottomans.

…Welp, I hope you weren’t too attached to the modern era because your goose has a very high likelihood of being cooked. Have fun living in the 15th century! …At least you won’t have to read Tunguska.

Another iteration of the Worst Case Scenario, Worst Case Scenario B, could occur in the middle of a rayshift. Since I’ve already dropped the fact that he kidnaps you, there isn’t a need for a dramatic buildup this time. So I’ll make it quick.

Essentially, while you and the gang are camping out for the night, Micheal would wake you up late. He’d tell you that he found something and that you should check it out. It’s his shift for night watch, so there’s no one awake to see the two of you slip out and away from camp. Once you two get far away enough, that’s when he clocks you in the back of the head with the hilt of his sword and plunges the syringe in your neck. Truth be told, Micheal had been planning this for a while now but had put it off for reasons he…can’t quite recall. But whatever events have recently occurred flipped the switch in his head that Chaldea is not a safe place for you and the people there are going to get you killed. Hence the kidnapping.

You wake up and same shit: you find out that your hand is missing, Micheal rushes to comfort you and he lies to you. The big difference this time is that you’re not trapped in 15th century Byzantium, you’re trapped in his Noble Phantasm. Walls aren’t just for keeping people out, they’re also for keeping people in. Buddy, you’re never leaving. Not on your own at least.

Thanks to the fact that his NP is basically a part of himself, Micheal has an acute awareness of where anything is inside of the walls. Meaning, that no matter where you are, you can’t hide from him. That’s the only reason he’s not glued to your side now, because now you two are completely alone and he knows exactly where you are. But hey, look on the bright side. In this iteration of the Worst Case Scenario, you have a much higher likelihood of being saved. So it’s not all bad.

What Are The Warning Signs?

To reorient ourselves back into a less depressing scene, let’s discuss how one can tell he’s going yandere. Assuming that you aren’t a mind reader and Constantine hasn’t opened up to you at all, here are the warning signs for this route from ‘shallow end where you can bail quick’ to ‘one foot in the basement’ type signs.

He’s not completely there/is spacing out often:

This is before the inciting incident with him having a serious conversation with you and it’s mainly him trying to troubleshoot what’s wrong with his actions in battle or your team comps.

He’s constantly lecturing you about not getting hurt and how much ‘everyone else’ hates to see it:

Post-inciting incident, it’s just him begging you in an unclear roundabout way to stop. Don’t mistake it for self righteous nagging, he’s just being stupid about not communicating his feelings. Typical Micheal.

He’s much more brutal in battle/doesn’t talk much in battle:

Already gone over this, but you should know that fights are ending much faster thanks to Constantine’s shift. Although, this has the unintended side effect of your other servants and himself getting hurt more often which may lead you to do more of those self sacrificial plays. That will, in turn, cause Constantine to be more ruthless in battle to compensate and the cycle will feed itself. Somebody’s gotta stop and it’s not going to be Micheal.

He’s around you a lot, lot more than usual:

Ya boi puts a lot of weight and has a great respect for alone time but he’s sacrificing that by being around you more and more. First is to enact his plan to make you as codependent on him as he is you make you accept help for once and because he genuinely enjoys being around you. There’s an almost euphoric glint in his brown eyes that hint at something far deeper at play when he’s around you.

He starts doing things for you more than usual:

Already have gone over this, but he’s basically coddling you to make you useless. His invasive care for you is a way that he’s showing his twisted love and you’re going to accept it whether you like it or not.

He gives you his stuff to keep in your room:

His jacket, his blanket, the case with his chess and checker set—just stuff that’s easy to get you to take in the beginning. That’ll warm you up slowly to the idea of living with him for… future endeavors.

He talks shit (in a fashion befitting a Roman Emperor) about the people around you frequently:

Constantine has nothing but subtle insults for the people you hang out with or choose to deploy for battle. You’d have squeeze even the smallest of compliments out of him and even then it’s backhanded with a side of passive aggression. He nitpicks the hell out of people in an effort to get you to see them the way he does, as unreliable and untrustworthy. He’ll ‘counsel’ you on better choices and that really just means that you’re benching the people who’ve been making him jealous recently.

He completely tunes out when you talk about Mash/is passive aggressive towards Mash:

For reasons already stated, Micheal wants nothing to do with your kouhai. You can see in real time when his eyes gloss over the second he pings that you’re talking about Mash. Not a single word of any worth will come out his mouth as he just nods his head and waits for you to finish. He doesn’t ever tell you to not talk about her because he knows that you wouldn’t be happy with him and that thought just pisses him off more.

Mash will come up to you, in the rare occasion that Constantine ISN’T at your side, and will ask you if you know if she slighted him in some way. Apparently he’s been super cold and curt with her as of late. Hmm… Wonder why.

Frequent musing to you about how you’d fit right in with his family and what life would’ve been like if you were around when he was alive:

It sounds innocent on the surface, doesn’t it? You two are such close pals that he’s talking to you about his family and how much they’d like you. How you, him, and George would be getting into all sorts of shenanigans and stuff. But the frequency he brings it up almost gives the impression that he’s testing the waters for…something. Well, it doesn’t matter what your opinion is, it’s probably going to happen anyways.

Freudian slips referring to you either as his spouse or his child:

Exactly as it is on the tin. There are times when he’s talking about you or referring to you in conversation that he’ll slip and call you either his spouse or his child depending on if this is platonic or not. Not much else to say here.

Him practically sharing your room with you:

Listen. If you haven’t seen any red flags until now then your goose is already locked in the oven, man. It’s over for you. Like, I have doubts that you’ll be able to make the turn around necessary to get out of this because ya boi has probably coddled you into a predictable and helpless creature. He’ll immediately ping when you’re starting to get suspicious of him and he’ll just dote on you more to get you to forget about it. And at this late in the game, it’ll probably work! So, if you haven’t even noticed this, then you’re toast.

How to Avoid This Shit-uation in the First Place.

The answer is so, so simple. Don’t be an idiot and try and get yourself killed. That’s what started this shitshow in the first place. If you take care of yourself and demonstrate that your self preservation instincts are functioning, then this’ll never happen. You’ll be on the normal route and you can move to get the true ending.

For the heroic master I described way back in the beginning, this is like asking to turn a plastic glove into hot sauce. Seemingly impossible, but is actually so with the right amount of effort and dedication.

It almost seems too easy, but it really isn’t. It’s just that simple.

How External Factors Come Into Play.

Up until this point, I’ve been writing this in a vacuum. Now, in this section, let’s get into the person who is most likely going to be your savior.

Mehmed II:

Just like in the Romance Headcanons, the Father of Conquest is your greatest ally. He’ll be the first person to ping that Constantine isn’t well thanks to how observant he is of people. The only issue is that Mehmed can’t quite confront Constantine on anything since Micheal hates him and wouldn’t listen to a word he says. Thus, our favorite sultan goes to you and asks you if you know what’s up with him. If you answer that you are aware of what’s up with Micheal, then Mehmed will leave you to your own devices since, much to his disappointment, it’s ultimately none of his beeswax. This is a decision he will come to regret.

If you answer that you don’t, then the sultan will consider stepping in but ultimately won’t actually make a move until Constantine’s plan is well under way. If there ever had to be a person devoted to personal freedom, then it would be Mehmed II. His entire life from childhood to death was put into being the sultan, and while he doesn’t necessarily regret putting his everything into it, he does regret not spending time doing what he wanted to do. So, when Mehmed sees the beginnings of a cage slowly forming around you, that is when he decides to act. Remember, he sees you as a reflection of himself, so the last thing Mehmed wants for you is to be trapped in the same gilded birdcage he was in since birth.

Ya boi’s aid pretty much amounts to getting you away from Constantine as much as he can. He can’t confront Micheal directly because of previously established reasons and because it might turn you away from him and potentially push you towards Constantine. By forcing you to have space away from Micheal, Mehmed provides you the opportunity to consider the previously mentioned red flags and the support you’d need to get to the bottom of this. You are not alone and Mehmed will do whatever he can to make sure that you’re free to do shit yourself.

In all honesty, he’s absolutely disgusted with Micheal in this scenario. There’s nothing our favorite sultan values more than personal freedom and anything that threatens that is high up on Mehmed’s hit list. He just can’t fathom what possessed Constantine to do something so utterly cruel to an innocent person like you and he’s finding himself to be disillusioned with Micheal as a result. Now, when Mehmed does hear Constantine’s motives for doing this during the Worst Case Scenario, either by the man himself being forced to admit it or Mehmed figuring it out, he’s more sympathetic but he’d ultimately without hesitation cosign killing Constantine off for your safety. Hell, he’d even do it himself.

Sure, losing your family, your wives and your unborn children, your best friend, and your empire would mess a person up to a high degree, but in Mehmed’s mind that is not an excuse to use you as a vehicle to fulfill such selfish desires. He’s a guy with a strong sense of justice and believes in following the law and rules to a T. It doesn’t matter who’s committing a crime or why, someone has to answer for this and when Mehmed finds them they will be spared no quarter. In this case, he’d be the first to propose executing Constantine XI for treason and would also add that if no one else wanted to, then he’d do it himself. That’s the kind of person he is, as ruthless as that may sound.

Now, if everyone believes that Micheal should be given a chance to redeem himself and get better, then… First would be complete and utter shock, what kind of crack were these people smoking to think that this a good idea? Constantine could be using his second chance to bide his time and wait for the perfect moment to kidnap you again for all they know. Second would be pure fury, Mehmed would be beyond furious that they’d let Constantine live after he very clearly demonstrated that he has little to no regard (in Mehmed’s mind) for you. He kidnapped you and cut off your hand, they should all be thanking whatever god they believe in that Micheal didn’t up and decide to amputate your legs too, or your own head for that matter. He’s also up in arms about the fact that, in his eyes, Constantine is getting off scot free for committing a crime of the highest order. That man should be dead, not just because it’s what he deserves for everything he did to you but also to serve as an example to anyone else who has similar plans as Micheal. Mehmed already has issues with the fact that Chaldea seemingly has barely any rules and no accountability, hence his shenanigans and subsequent run-ins with Astraea, but this is beyond ridiculous. What will it take then for someone to actually get what they deserve? Chaldea getting raided again? Obviously not considering the continued existence of a certain someone with a head of fluffy white hair. Will it take your death? He hopes not and he will continue to fight tooth and nail for Michael to be punished for his crimes, even going so far as to assassinate the man himself.

All in all, Mehmed is the first person to espy Constantine’s mental decline, he’ll aid you in getting away from Micheal, and if worse comes to worse then he’ll kill him for hurting you.

On another note, in the Worst Case scenario, you may be wondering what will happen when Chaldea fixes the Klein Coffins or notices that you and Constantine are missing from camp. And I shall answer.

If Chaldea manages to fix the Klein Coffins in time, figures out when and where the two of you went, and rayshifts to 1449 Constantinople, then it’s pretty much over for Constantine. It’ll essentially be a Hydrogen Bomb v. Coughing Baby type of situation since the only powerful person on Constantine’s side that could fight a servant is the man himself and Chaldea would be throwing down their top G’s to find you and that comp includes none other than Mehmed II. The only thing Micheal has going for him is that he’d maybe be able to hide you but that’s if and only if he knows that they’ve arrived. Otherwise Chaldea has the drop on him and with a guy who knows these streets like the back of his hand, it’s not going to take them long to find you. So hooray, you’re saved! Micheal will get his ass beat and depending on how the fight goes and your intervention, he could die right there. But ultimately, the incident will have reached its conclusion with you and your missing dominant hand going back to Chaldea either with or without Constantine.

Now in the alternative, depending on who’s in your singularity or Lostbelt party this may be a more difficult situation to handle on Chaldea’s end. Constantine’s NP is really, really strong and there aren’t many who can break through it. Charlemagne and Mehmed II are the obvious choices due to their connection with Byzantium, but Johanna may be able to force the gate open using her mojo or Odysseus with his ‘wooden horse’ can probably pull it off too. I may be blanking on others but you get the idea, one does not simply break through the Theodosian walls. It takes exceptional people to do so, hence any 3-star teams or regular folks are going to have to get creative.

It’s not like there’s—to my knowledge anyway—an invisible wall preventing one from scaling the walls or flying over them. So. Servants with exceptional agility like Medusa or Ushiwakamaru can scale the walls or Tomoe Gozen could throw someone over them (you’ve seen her NP, she could throw you to the moon), or Paul Bunyan and Protea could drop people in thanks to their size or dare I say it: Arash Airlines 2 or Sky High Rider Buster Justice Bomb 2. The only issue is dealing with Constantine once they get over as he will be ready for them. Depending on how things roll, he could very well drop his NP, grab you and run. But considering the names I’ve dropped so far, I doubt he’ll be going very far. So if he hasn’t killed any servants yet, you may just be saved.

But if there isn’t anyone who can do any of that then worry not, there still an opening. NPs consume mana, Constantine’s very existence consumes mana, thus when mana’s running low, Micheal will drop his NP and saddle you onto his horse with him to run off in a random direction. This is where the opening lies. Any servants who have a horse or are a horse themselves can catch up. Servants like Georgios, Mandricardo, Red Hare or Alexander will clutch this for you. So if you have no one else, then I hope you have them.

Otherwise you might just be on the run forever.

About the Romantic Side of Things…

Alrighty~ We’ve already seen the platonic side of things, so let’s discuss what your new captor husband is like!

For starters, he’s a lot more upfront and bold with his affections behind closed doors, almost always touching you in some fashion. It could be as small as locking pinkies or him resting his head on your shoulder, but he HAS to be touching you. He was already aware of the fact that he craved affection of some kind, but his mental decline and the ‘realization’ that he can have that domestic life with you as your husband has made him deathly aware of just how much he needs it. This leads to him clinging onto you as much as he can, whenever he can. You are the eucalyptus tree to his koala. (Koala-stantine? Eh, not good enough.) But if you don’t straight up tell him, then he’s going to be holding you and cuddling you constantly when you two are alone. And that shit goes double for the Worst Case Scenario. If he’s got you rayshifted into 1449 Constantinople, then you get Micheal AND Constantine being on you with the latter only on the rare occasions he gets alone with you. If you’re trapped in his NP, then he’ll just be hugging you, holding you, resting on top of you and all other manners of just being on you for nearly all hours of the day. So do let him know if you don’t like being touched that much so he can tone it down. …At least when you’re awake, that is. While you’re sleeping is fair game for him to spoon you (in his mind) to make up for all the time he can’t touch you while you’re conscious. And if you’re a light sleeper, he’ll find a way and if you wake up early and sleep late then… well, he still has several leftover syringes of anesthesia and a few bottles of hard alcohol to put you out with if he feels like he needs more time. He was really preparing for you to wake up mid-kidnapping or during the moment he amputated your hand, hence the copious amount of ‘sleeping tools.’ The alcohol was also taken if you ever felt residual or phantom pain from losing your hand, so that’s mighty considerate of him.

He’s also more verbally direct about his feelings. The positive ones, I mean. He’d still rather die than admit he’s feeling bad about anything. His filter is almost gone and he’s not afraid to tell you how he feels about you. He tells you that he loves you and that he’d move mountains for you if it’d mean that you’d smile. That he’d protect you from anything and all things: liars, traitors, madmen, gods, friends, family—nothing could ever get to you with Constantine by your side. And while the sentiment is…nice if you ignore the blatant threat to your loved ones, the fact of the matter is that he isn’t as reserved as he normally would be. And that lets a bit of the madness peek through some of the time when he muses to you about his family and how he’d LOVE for you to meet them! How you’d be an excellent monarch at his side and how he’d show you all of the ropes, get you his old tutors from when he was a kid, and how you’d look so beautiful in regal clothing from his era and— you get the point. Like I said previously, the way he talks about these things is so frequent that one may suspect that he’s cooking something and the manic glint in his eye definitely isn’t making it any better.

On another note, returning his affections will pull him deeper and deeper into his delusions. He gets almost giddy when you hug him back or let him rest his head on your lap and card your fingers through his hair. As far gone as he is, he does have a level of shame left in him that prevents him from acting like a love-drunk fool in public and a level of shame that prevents him from acting too much like the codependent fool he really is in front of you. Just a baseline level of composure and elegance to fool you and himself into thinking he’s still the well adjusted and reliable Roman emperor he thinks he is.

Now, if you were to go out of your way to show affection—and do note that you don’t have to—but if you do, then oh boy. Let’s say…hm. Let’s say in Chaldea, before the Worst Case Scenario happens but you’re in deep enough to where he’s sleeping in your room, let’s say you roll out of bed one night and you lie next to him on the floor. He’d be surprised by your sudden action and would ask why you’re down there. You then move in to wordlessly hug him, pulling his sleeping bag closer to you and resting your head on his chest. Micheal will be shaken. He doesn’t know why, not consciously anyways, but he’s really surprised that you’re holding him like this. And when you stay like that for longer, that’s when you hear…sniffling? You move your head to look at Constantine’s face only to see his hand covering his eyes and and his teeth clenched. His shoulders begin trembling and you can just barely see a glint of something rolling down his cheek. Is… Is Constantine crying?

You move your hand to his face to wipe away the tear stains and that’s when Micheal completely breaks down and starts sobbing. He immediately pulls you into his arms and squeezes the life out of you, shaking and weeping into your hair. He rubs your back and you can barely make out what he’s mumbling to himself.

“Finally… Finally… Finally, I… I finally have…! Ahhhh… I’m so happy… I’m so glad that you’re… ahhh…”

The rest is incoherent and a jumbled mess of words, so you can’t quite tell what he’s on about. But what you do know is that these tears are definitely not ones of sadness.

…It should be noted that this scene can also occur in a platonic scenario.

What Micheal breaking down in front of you means is that he’s so overwhelmed by the fact that you have just soft confirmed that you love him too (even if that’s not what you meant) and that basically puts whatever tiny piece of rationality he has left to rest because you clearly (uh-huh) want this too. Buried under layers and layers of denial, grief, and a starvation for affection and a family is Constantine’s self awareness. Very deep down he knows what he’s doing is morally reprehensible and is harming you, but it’s been shoved so deep down thanks to the euphoria of getting what he’s wanted and now that you’ve—in his mind—confirmed that you’re okay with this, that self awareness has died. It’s not coming back and you’ve basically locked Constantine into his delusion by proving to him that you love him too. And the consequences of this action are accelerating the path to the Worst Case Scenario: the logical conclusion to his line of thinking and Constantine being more liable to harm others to protect you and your relationship with him. If you’re not careful then people are going to start dropping like flies under ‘mysterious circumstances’ so you better tread lightly because any small indication that someone likes you ‘too much’ or that you like someone else is going to get them killed. You know… ‘cause they’re clearly trying to hurt you and are manipulating you. Don’t question it, Micheal knows best, obviously.

Does He Sober Up or Not?

Yes and no. If by ‘sober up’ you mean that he realizes the error of his ways and seeks to right his wrongs, then allow me to bluntly tell you that it’s impossible for him on his own. The euphoria that he receives from caring for you and coddling you and loving you (plus any affection you may give to him) has his vision dyed in a rose tint. The tiny rationale and self awareness he does have is buried deep in him and isn’t going to come out in any meaningful way ever. Your actions at the very beginning of this (remember?) have pushed him off the deep end and his sanity is at a low value, this is the bad ending route and depending on where you are in the timeline and what you do, then you probably can’t salvage this either. If you want to get him to sober up, the you’ll have to change your ways early on and avoid this route altogether.

Now. If by ‘sober up’ you mean that he has occasional moments of clarity then, yes. Yes he does have occasional moments of clarity. And those, unfortunately, only come out in Worst Case Scenario B when he’s all alone with you in his NP. With things as…not good as they are and you not having shown him any affection of your own volition, you get to wake up to something special sometimes.

With no warning, you may wake up to the sounds of loud sobbing, arms and legs squeezing the life out of you, and a very wet shirt. Constantine is crying into your chest and frantically apologizing to you. He’s sorry. He’s so, so sorry for trapping you here, he’s sorry for your hand, he’s sorry for hurting you, he’s sorry for taking your friends away, he’s sorry. Don’t bother trying to talk to him because in this state he’s inconsolable and hysterical. He’s not listening to a word you say and no matter how many times you tell him that you forgive him, he’ll continue to apologize. Kicking him or pulling his hair isn’t going to do anything either so don’t bother. All you can do is try and go back to sleep or wait until he exhausts himself and falls asleep. When you wake up, the only sign that he was like this are the tear stains on his cheeks and your moist shirt. He won’t ‘recall’ any of what you’re talking about and’ll just liken the moisture on your shirt to him drooling, which he’ll apologize for. The tear stains are something he’ll refuse to acknowledge no matter what you say or do, so don’t bother with that either.

You’re okay and he’s okay. That’s all there is to it.

Endnote: And we’re back! This is the result of me recovering my sanity bit by bit from having to write an essay for a topic I had no interest in. So hopefully after my midterm things’ll die down a bit in that class. Anywho, let’s get into the behind the scenes!

I would first like to inform you all that I had to cut a few of planned sections for this. I was originally planning on writing a section at the end for the type of master who would get this route—this ending on purpose. However, as I started writing things, the word count got higher and higher, high enough to where I was sure that it’d break 13k and maybe hit 21k if I were to write it. Sooo it was scrapped for the sake of not lagging on anyone’s devices and being too long for a headcanons list. There was also a section dedicated to discussing if escaping Yandere!Constantine was possible but as I was writing the Worst Case Scenario, I realized by the end that I was giving tips on escaping as well as the answer somewhat being obvious and not that interesting. The answer I COULD give plus an answer as to what would happen after your failed escape attempts would make for a good section of the Yandere Headcanons Addendum. The last planned section that was cut was the section answering the question: “What if you died?” And I realized as the word count went up that the answer would not only be long, but best served for a post dedicated to answering the question how Constantine would react to you dying. From him being your coworker, your friend, your best friend, romantic partner and husband to the object of his obsession, there’s a lot of ways you could answer it and That’ll be something to tag on my already really long to-do list. In essence, most things were cut out for word count reasons. The count in question is 12,980. Yeah… I was really close to breaking the ceiling and having this set be a new record holder. But hey, if you think that there is no such thing as ‘too long’ for headcanon lists, do let me know! I’m really only holding back for everyone else’s sake…

In the Worst Case Scenario section, I really felt like I had written like, the summary or prologue to a fic with that. And I am pondering ideas for what a longfic with him could look like because I’ve had a few cracked and barely thought out ideas in the past like: “Modern AU with Micheal being so entrenched in grief over losing his wives that he hallucinates Reader to sooth his loneliness and Reader tries to help him get better” and there would be like endings where either he’d live with you forever and not get better, kill himself out of grief, or get with the lovely church organist, Modern Au!Johanna and live happily ever after with an epilogue scene of him talking to Johanna about ‘someone who helped him in his darkest time’ (Reader) and him being thankful for your help. It’s a really cracked and cliche (I think) idea that came to me when I was listening to “Little Talks” by Of Monsters and Men a while ago and that blurb’s all I got. I have no idea where to go from there, so if anyone wants to brainstorm with me if that sounds interesting, then don’t hesitate, I am always here to share the brainrot.

Constantine as a yandere is such a sad thing to see because he could get better, he really could! He doesn’t HAVE to do any of this to get the family he wants, the Romance and Confession Headcanons (in my interpretation, anyways) prove it! None of this had to happen. However, through ‘your’ (the loosely defined you) actions you have given him cause to take what he wants from you and people are going to get hurt, including you. I cannot stress enough just how much this version of Micheal is the direct result of ‘your’ actions, intentional or not. This is NOT his logical conclusion and the very nature of his character prevents him from doing this to himself. ‘You’ve’ created a monster and you’re getting everything you deserve from it for disregarding the feelings and effects on the people around you. A master who’s doing this on purpose is also getting what they deserve from it too. So every party in this ending suffers equally.

Now on a different topic, someone may be silently asking: “But what about seggs? Are you going to do seggs?” And to that I say… I’m working on it. I’ve been writing an Nsfw Alphabet in my spare time and with that being my first foray into NSFW, I’m not sure if anyone wants to see it! I am genuinely thinking I should leave it as practice to never see the light of day for the inevitable NSFW Headcanons. Because I am struggling to write it because I’m worried that it’s not…NSFW enough. As I write more, because that’s what it takes to get better, I’ll figure it out. But yeah, if anyone was wondering then now ya know.

In other Redline news, I’m going to try and catch up on those sprite posts and another thing from the Yamatai event since I was being mauled by schoolwork. So here’s to hoping my professors don’t increase the difficulty any time soon.

But that’s all I can think of for the Endnote. If you have any questions, desire for elaboration, criticisms, or compliments, don’t hesitate to let me know and I’ll be seeing you all soon!

Have a good day, everyone.

—Redline, over and out!

[jays-bonnie-on-the-side]

𝐋𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐀 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐤 - 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 (𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐫)

PAIRING : dean winchester x original female character

STORY SUMMARY : in story masterlist

WARNINGS : mature content. pining. age-gap. angst. fluff. smut. violence. murder. death. alcohol use. depictions of torture.

each chapter will have it's own warning. i would include more but i don't wanna give anything away!

A/N: likes, comments, and—most importantly—reblogs are always appreciated! enjoy!!!

"Dean, please…" I stand frozen, staring at the man I love.

His legs stride toward me, closing our distance in seconds. He hovers over my petite figure, his intimidation only making me feel smaller.

"This isn't you."

"THIS IS THE NEW ME!" He shouts before grabbing my hair and pulling me close. "The old, weak, pathetic, scared little boy you knew is long gone. It's only me, and I'm not going anywhere…"

I watch as he flashes his black, demonic eyes. My hands fly up to his entangled one in my hair. I yank at it, struggling to be set free. Anger and lust take over his once expressionless face. His sharp gaze travels down to my shirt.

Nodding at it, he says, "Take it off."

My eyes widened, shocked by the words that came out of his mouth. I part my lips to say no, but nothing comes out. His unoccupied hand roughly grips my chin, forcing me to look into his dark green eyes. His thumb firmly drags across my bottom lip as he licks his own. My heart pounds louder as I desperately try to escape his grasp, knowing the sinful act he's planning to commit against me.

"Do it!" He yells, his voice resonating off the walls to make it seem louder, driving me to jump uncontrollably.

His gaze rakes over my face, taking notice of my fear. A slow and sinister smile spreads across his lips. A sick feeling descends into the pit of my stomach, knowing my fear is pleasing him.

I swallow hard when I hear him calmly but sternly say, "Or I'll do it for you."

DEAN WINCHESTER MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST | JOIN THE TAG LIST

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: do not steal, plagiarize, translate, and/or republish any of my works* on here or another platform

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[minsimagines]

aftermath

pairing; pro hero!katsuki bakugou x f!reader

word count; 1,1k

warnings; mentions of sex, mentions of body parts, mentions of alcohol, enemies to lovers?, my bakugou is a bit of a douchebag but not so bad in this, 

+ my take on the characters and settings of mha is a little ooc on purpose, it’s almost a little au, but not completely. 

“this is awkward.”

you glance up, wide eyed as if you’d forgotten he was sitting opposite of you, suddenly afraid he could read your mind, or see the memories of the prior evening replay in your eyes. 

the bar sat right off campus, tucked below a dungy alley between otherwise pristine buildings, hidden from the unbidden like a thought unuttered. 

this underground hideout was a world in its own right, governed by the high and mighty pro heroes who were never as righteous as they appeared on television. the very ones you’d found so undesirable — and you’d been vocal about this fact straight to his face only to have that attitude thrown back at you tenfold.

now here you sit, in the dark of their den of sins, where you know newer, stranger and lewder scenes are unfolding behind every door. the drink is good, you’d give them that, but does it really matter when your mouth is dry just thinking of the obscenity you’d indulged in the very night before? and is this atmosphere really awkward as he says, when he was inside you only hours before this meeting? aren’t you beyond awkward now? you’d have reminded him of this fact, if only you weren’t so sensitive to the topic of no longer being pure. 

not pure of your virginity — that was lost a few years ago. this new impurity was something you had never foreseen.

and, well, you were being awkward.

how had you sunk so low, you wonder? where had your anger and your self respect gone? he was the enemy. metaphorically. you did not like him, he was pretentious and mean, and he had ripped the world from under you — sat you on a sinking ship with only his arms as a lifeboat. 

he’s watching you with intensity that tells you he knows exactly what’s going through your mind. he notices your nerves, of course he does. those eyes miss nothing. the small hint of a smirk lingers on the edge of his lips.

“i don’t think it’s weird,” you clear your throat, swallowing. “it’s just… different.”

it’s true. within you, where you’d once harbored a livid dislike for him, now sat only the disdain for the fact that your anger toward him had changed. you were angry, he had made you see him differently and that was infuriating, but it was not truly him you were angry with — the choice had been yours. 

“different,” he echoes, eyes narrowing slightly as though he finds that amusing. 

had it been just his wicked idea of sex; had it just been his way of exuding his kinks onto your clean mind then this would have been different. this situation would have even been okay, because you would have known for a fact you were just an outlet, and that felt somehow easier to accept than what had truly happened. 

it had gone from longing looks and sultry whispers that had your knees weak to something obscene and overwhelming, and then it had simmered back down to the soft and stomach fluttering. of all the things you could have imagined him wanting to do to you, you’d never even dared think he would be intimate. 

that was the thing that made you so uncomfortable. 

you couldn’t get it out of your head, it replayed over and over. his breath on your neck, the weight of his warm body around yours, his breathy laugh when you’d given into the pleasure and fallen apart in his arms, the praises he had whispered into your skin as he buried himself to the hilt in your pussy. tucking you against his body. falling asleep to his fingertips against your scalp. 

he’d promised you the stars, and to your immense animosity, he’d delivered. 

“too different?” he asks. the heat of his gaze drops to your tank top, but there is the hint of something else in those eyes. 

it makes you reach over the small table, fingers gripping the tattooed forearm that rests on the surface. his eyes drop to look at your smaller hand on his wrist, before he glances up at you. 

“i’m… tougher than i look,” you utter, braver than you really are. it lures out the smirk he usually bears around you, when he finds you particularly alluring. he knows you’re bluffing, knows you only say it because even if his kind of sex isn’t what you seek in a lover, you have an infatuation with him that he seems more aware of than you are. 

but you know that you may even be willing to compromise, because just as possessive as the look in his eyes is, you too have grown to feel some kind of bond with him. it is tentative, at best, but it’s there. 

he has slowly been tearing you apart, piece by piece, until every little thing about you was  bared to him, and you were ripe for the taking. 

he’s no good for you, but the way he slides his arm back just to wrap his hand around yours reminds you that no one will make you feel this way. it’s nothing special, you’ve held hands with boys before, but none of them had given you this spark of electricity shooting up the veins of your arms. 

your heart crept out of your chest and slipped down your limb, in between your intertwined hands, free for him to do with as he pleases.

you want to withdraw from him, as if it would take your heart back, but what’s given cannot be taken back. and after this corruption, you find you almost like the risk of your heart’s safety being in the hands of another. 

his tongue rolls over his lower lip. you watch it, flashes of memories of what that muscle can do running havoc through your mind. 

“you sure about that, pretty girl?” he raises a brow.  

the earth may as well have shattered beneath your seats, for the tremble that rushed through your body at his tone. 

“no,” you admit softly, because when it all comes down to it, shy or not, he knows when you’re lying. he pries the answers from you anyway. 

“last night was foreplay.” he leans back, glances away, runs his available hand down his face to attempt to hide his grin. 

you release his hand only to smack his forearm, lips pressed thinly together. he chuckles, and you go in to hit him again to make a point. 

he’s quick. takes a hold of your smaller wrist, tugging you toward him. the table is small, he’s right in front of your face now, and he’s loving the way your eyes widen, your lips parting, your cheeks reddening.  

“if i could kill you, i would,” you grumble breathily.

“if,” he murmurs fondly.