#◇ / * （ kate whistler * answered. ）

[whatimdoing-here]

NCIS HAWAII | 2.18 Cabin Fever

Lucy tackles multitasking

[magicalstripedhorse]

Ok ok. I’ve been thinking about Lucy and Jesse. Specifically that scene where he comments on her family money right??

What if her family didn’t have issues with her job??? Like they’re just happy she’s doing something she loves??? Just little Lucy Tara living her best life in Hawaii with more money than she knows what to do with!!! But she keeps it quite cause people look at her differently when they find out

And then one day she makes some benign comment about it. Like they need to get to another island for a case but it’s gonna take too long and she’s just like ‘I’ll get a chopper’ or something?!?!

And the whole gang (minus Jesse and Jane) just look at her dumbfounded and Kate is just wide eyed like ‘WTF??’

Anyway I’ve had too much time to think about this so now you have to as well

Omg, okay okay okay, but...

I see you and I'll raise: Lucy, supportive parents and trust fund and all, only she doesn't really know what to do with so much money.

Her whole life still fits in a duffel bag, she doesn't really buy much for herself (aside from some really nice new outfits now and then, ('cause when you've got that swagger, you gotta dress the part).

So instead, her money mostly goes into helping out random small businesses around the island. Like, proper investments. No one knows about this except the owners, obviously. This means she gets to call in a lot of random favours from a lot of random places.

Need to get to one of the other islands but not in the mood to wait for CGIS' fleet? Call in a favour for a helicopter ride with one of the local tour companies. The sweet old lady down at records retiring? Three different bakeries and a coffee shop mysteriously sponsored a massive amount of pastries and caffeine. Anyone wondering why (and how) she buys so much pizza from that one place down the block? She gets a really nice discount, don't overthink it.

No one knows how she does it, but no one thinks to look into it because it's Lucy, so they just wait it out.

Kate has no clue. Lucy buys a ton of groceries every month, goes half-in on all the rent and utilities (because that's what they agreed on). Kate finds really nice little gifts for her around the house every couple weeks, things she saw online and showed Lucy, or something that Lucy said reminded her of Kate or thought it would look good on her. Small stuff. But the quality is impeccable. She's tried questioning it before only to get distracted by something else Lucy says. So she's mostly learned to let it go.

Until Jesse mentions the favours. Until Ernie (in his own polite way) starts poking at the subject and it gets out. They're all amused, and very embarrassed about underestimating Lucy's business savvy (albeit unintentionally). Kate makes her promise to not spend so much money on gifts and things, though Lucy manages to amend the conditions of the promise with some of her charm before she finally agrees.

[littlesolo]

I cannot believe that Kate Whistler would drink directly from the carton, especially when there’s so much juice left! Like I can maybe see it if she was finishing it off, but that is a mostly full container of juice!

I love it! I think we've all got a mental picture of Kate being kind of uptight and needing things organized... Kate is just like everyone else. After a long run, she's going for the juice and not bothering with a glass.

And judging by Lucy's comment, they've had that discussion before!

"In my defense, you weren't getting home until tomorrow..."

I love that we're getting to see more of off duty Kate.

[performativezippers]

I was going to ask if you think Kate has anxiety about even keeping the smallest things secret from Lucy or telling white lies but I guess the last episode kind of answered it? Or do you think Kate spilled because Lucy seemed so deflated rather than because she felt guilty about it?

OOPS THIS GOT LONG!!

My personal headcanon, obviously take it or leave it, is that there is a lot of trauma underneath the surface of this relationship still. Which is fine, many relationships have it! But the breakup was so hard, so hurtful. What Kate did—not breaking up with Cara for what seems like at least a month of being in a serious relationship with Lucy, if not more—was so messed up. Lucy coming in with trust issues already...hot damn.

I think this honeymoon period is gorgeous and so wholesome and fulfilling to watch, so don't get me wrong, I'm obsessed and in love with it, but if this were something I was writing where I had all the time in the world to explore these characters (not on an ensemble procedural show with 42 minutes of content, for example), I would be starting in a few weeks/months time (after Lucy settles back in after agent afloating) to really explore how much Kate and Lucy are both keeping from each other in order to keep the peace in the relationship.

Kate's terror about keeping secrets, for example, like her relationships with exes, or getting caught checking out a cute woman. Not being able to give Lucy access to her phone or computer because of work stuff. Not always able to share with Lucy where she's going or who she's meeting with or what she's doing or who her coworkers are. She comes from a keeping-secrets-job and is still in a full-of-secrets-job, and I think every time she can't be fully honest with Lucy, she's terrified. Does she have to tell Lucy every time her college ex comes across her social media, since she's still friends with some of Kate's friends? Every weird dream she has where she and Lucy fight or she kisses someone else? When she goes undercover and flirts to get the information she needs? When the girl at the coffeeshop hit on her while Lucy was on the big boat—should she have sent Lucy an email about it? Mentioned it on one of their very brief phone calls? It didn't matter, but what if Lucy finds out Kate didn't tell her and thinks Kate was keeping it from her because it did mean something??

I think Kate is walking on eggshells, so afraid of making a single mistake. She promised to do it right this time, right? And she's Kate Whistler, so "right" means "perfect," and it's really really hard to be a perfect person and perfect partner. She's always doing things for Lucy, so Lucy says, errands and cooking and financial advice and going above and beyond—how much of that is because her love language is acts of service and how much is because she's still trying trying trying to dig herself out of this hole she put herself in last year?

And how much of that does Lucy know?

How much of it does Lucy secretly want her to be doing? How much would Lucy be horrified to know Kate is worried about?

And on Lucy's side, she was always the one who loved more, wanted more, invested more, asked for more. Kate did the one grand gesture, sure, but Lucy's so scared to be too much. She didn't tell Kate about the apartment, she's overdoing the breakfast cooking, she's asking if it's too much with her face falling. What does it mean to hand all of her trust to the person who hurt her so badly, to give her fragile, enormous, bottomless heart to this one woman?

Lucy's made some huge progress on this, especially by going on the big boat and trusting that Kate will stay faithful to her, still love her, still want her when she comes back, not ghost her during long distance the way she ghosted Cara—that's huge for her for sure. But there's still more.

Lucy's putting all of her eggs in this one basket. In some ways Lucy has a lot of eggs—because she loves so much and so hard—and in another way she has very few eggs, because she doesn't have love or support from her family and hasn't established any strong relationships outside fo the team ("i didn't get out much in college"). So much is resting on Kate.

Lucy knows that she hurt Kate, that she pushed Kate away for so long, that in her own pain she wasn't at all able to recognize Kate's pain. And that's okay, I don't think the person who was hurt needs to prioritize the other person, but once you've repaired the relationship or agreed to try again, those hard moments still echo and stand out in the memory of your journey as a couple. Lucy leaving Kate in the bullpen—arm in a sling, cracks in her ribs, tears in her eyes—that hurts. That was a bad moment. That was a time when Lucy's pain was so sharp that she ran Kate right through with it and left Kate there, impaled on it.

So Lucy's afraid she's loving too much or too hard, that Kate will become overwhelmed by her and leave her, that Kate might get sick of her the way she got sick of Cara. She's afraid that the ways she hurt Kate and pushed her away, isolated her from the rest of the team, are things Kate is still holding against her.

Kate is afraid that Lucy's going to leave her, that Lucy's trust and love are conditional and that she's always one misstep away from losing her again.

SO LIKE. Go to therapy, right, but also...SUCH FUN DYNAMICS FOR OUR FICS.

[hatchetation]

while i 100% appreciate (very much so practical) bikini clad kate gloriously emerging from the ocean with her rainbow surfboard (bless you tori 😇 and bless you amy 😇 and we were all handsomely blessed 😇🥹), i do wonder when will the time be where lucy gets to showcase her own awesome physique with kate nearby reduced to bumbling malfunctioning mess? when please and thank you

this was sent like probably over a year ago, but idk I’m just thinking thirsty thoughts about #kacy and hoping we get to see them in 2024. And I wholeheartedly agree that on this show set in Hawaii we deserve more hot women in bikinis 🥵

also like WOULD kate be a bumbling mess? I feel like she wouldn’t react the same way as lucy…like she’d be flustered but she’d express it differently if that makes sense…especially if they were still on the outs I feel like she’d have one moment of panic and then steel herself and be EXTRA cold and mean

[binary-not-found]

This episode seems like a filler to me, it’s clearly Yasmine had something to do bts cause NCIS Hawaii had a pretty organic consistent way of writing so far, especially Kacy relationships progression, this Lucy-is-going-away-for-4-months storyline seems a bit sudden as if the writers had to pull a rabbit out of their collective hats.

Obv if Yasmine had some personal stuff and had to leave (just speculation here, but her absence for over a month is noticeable) it will affect the overall storyline, but I wish the writers didn’t use the “fear of the water” as a thing for her to conquer by herself, I wished it remained an on thing screen, not particularly a Kacy things , but something that she’ll do for her loved ones, they could have send her somewhere else, to do something else, even undercover, or something closer to her actual skills, even a special trading camp or whatever, unless they use this as a future plot for Lucy, it seems a bit underwhelming and inconsistent.

I guess it was too good to be true that we had so much Kacy development 😩

I’ll wait for the reunion I guess, I hope they use this time for Kate to bond with the unit

Okay I'm going to try to be nice because honestly that part of the "I guess it was too good to be true that we had so much Kacy development" made me a little upset, I'll put it this way.

fist, if we are going to think of the episode as filler, then they are all filler because they are self-conclusive, now it was supposed to be something out of nowhere, because it's a request she made being upset and hurt -and wanting to run as far away as she could in any way she could- and when they rejected her request she forgot about it, they literally explain it in the episode, it's the way things happen in real life, and the thing about the show is to make it with as real scenarios as possible.

the fear of water has been an over talked topic in this whole discussion, and I'll tell you something, I have aquaphobia and thalasaphobia, and I would NEVER in my life go near an island, I can't even tolerate pools deeper than a meter, that being said, that fear is something she has to work out, because it is her fear, and it is something that never really goes away, she has learned to live with it and now she is going to do it on her own for her career, being an afloat agent doesn't mean she will do anything to do with the sea, she is going to do the same thing she does on land, but on a boat. From the beginning of the series they have made it clear to us that she looks up to Jane and wants to be like her someday, her career needs to advance, outside of her relationship with Kate, outside of her fear or insecurities, she is still a special agent, and she needs to look to progress as such.

now *sighs* implying that Lucy leaving is stopping the relationship from developing is a brave thing to do, because it seems like you completely missed the last scene of the episode. them communicating, Kate assuring her that she'll be there waiting, knowing it's the right move for Lucy's growth professionally and personally, Kate would NEVER ask Lucy to sacrifice her career for her unless that's what Lucy wanted, and the only reason Lucy was having second thoughts was because she didn't want to leave Kate.

that right there is development and talks about how much they love each other and want the best for the relationship, but they are aware that their relationship is not their whole life, Kate was kind during the whole time, she never showed resentment and never brought to discussion that she turned down a promotion, because she had her own process and made her own decisions and she is encouraging Lucy to make hers, because Lucy is the only one who knows what is best for her. Kate knows that if Lucy stays it should be for her own reasons not because she doesn't want to leave her and Lucy knows this too, that's why she decides to go.

I'm not going to say anything else because I have a lot to say but I don't want to spoil my analysis completely, I'll just repeat that you're right about the story being sudden because they had to explain Yasmine's absence, but the whole situation is explained in the episode 🤷🏻‍♀️

[englishstrawbie]

Between Kacy and Station 19, it seems you have a thing for lesbian reconciliation storylines. (TEASING).

Relationships have hurdles and for a lot of shows we get to see the couples hit their highs and their lows are temporary. Some of that is due to the relationships being a background thing, the focus is the crime procedural/medical drama, but I like seeing this attention given both couples as they work through things. We get to see that the love is still there, but growth and stumbles. It lets us see more in a way?

Thoughts???

Now Anon, why did you have to call me out like this?! 😝

But yes, I love a love story - and when you've got two people who love each other, fall apart but want to fight for that love, it can be beautiful to watch them find their way back to each other.

In a show like S19 or NCIS Hawai'i, there's a lot going on - there's a key theme or storyline that's going on throughout the episode, and then there's a whole ensemble whose personal stories need to be told as well. Inevitably that means that those storylines will ebb and flow throughout a season, sometimes getting more attention and sometimes getting less.

The fact that both shows are so invested in telling these wlw love stories makes me so happy. Especially the way queer shows are being cancelled at the moment. They're not just there for viewership or to fill a quota. These are characters who are important to the show and important to the 'family'. They're not trying to portray these women or relationships as perfect; they screw up, they learn, they make amends, they move forwards. And I love that we're getting to see every part of it.

[burygods]

lucy tara : you're welcome to stay, if you want.

it was an amazing night --- didn't think it would have been, but it was a case of not judging a book by it's cover. the food was incredible, the wine was flowing, and the company ... well, @eternaldark never failed to make her laugh, or smile. honestly, kate was starting to not care where she was, if only lucy would be there to.

she's up before the ncis agent. thus her routine, and that didn't change no matter where she was. in lucy's kitchen, dressed and ready for the day, coffee in hand and the blonde smiles over at the other. heels tap as she walks towards lucy, the softest of kisses to the corner of her lips, free hand resting against the brunette's side. " can't. " kate speaks once pulling back a little. " big debrief first thing. " always a little vague with her answers. old habits die hard.

" though i could always stop by after work. "

[pippytmi]

kacy + a break-up AU based on this prompt list: "you’re my emergency contact and i’ve been in an accident so you drop everything to come to the hospital"

———————————————————————

The thing no one says about breakups is that they're an utter inconvenience.

Kate tries to rationalize it; she was dating Lucy Tara for twelve months and thirteen days, it's only natural to have established a routine that will take some time to unlearn. So when she wakes up and reaches for a warm body that isn't there, it still takes a while to remember why. And when she makes her morning coffee, maybe sometimes she will pour the creamer that Lucy likes by accident. (By the end of the week, she will have to pour the whole container down the drain). That’s normal too. Mostly.

Lucy’s absence hits the most in the morning, but Kate goes through the motions anyway. Before Lucy she would always take her coffee outside and sit on the balcony to watch the sunrise, so she still does it. Of course now there’s no Lucy wrapped up in a blanket and insistently making her way onto Kate’s lap to sleep while she does it, but. Kate sips from her mug and watches the clouds roll in over the gloomy horizon and pretends nothing has changed.

The drive to work is quiet save for the gentle patter of rain against her windows. Her radio is still set to the station Lucy likes, and Kate hasn’t managed to change it. Baby steps—that’s all it takes. Maybe tomorrow Kate might have the courage to switch it back to her own.

And when everything at home is too loud and simultaneously too empty, there’s work. Kate gets to her desk and finds a mountain of files with new assignments, and she welcomes them with open arms; her work has always been separate from Lucy, and it's the one constant she doesn't need to readjust to.

For a blissful hour and a half, Kate is in her own world. She argues with a client about what confidentiality means (and what it doesn't). She reschedules the deposition of a plaintiff on a particularly high-profile case because opposing counsel has accidentally double-booked. She creates an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of her new cases but organizes the clients by market value. 

By all accounts, her morning is shaping up considerably. That is, until her cell phone starts buzzing.

She ignores the first call from the unknown number flashing on the screen. Instead, she gets coffee from the awful machine in the break room. The second call comes thirty minutes later, and Kate ignores it again, spends her time politely explaining how to use the fax machine to her confused new paralegal.

When her phone rings a third time—just as Kate has gotten out of a grueling meeting with the senior attorneys which should've been an email—she answers it solely for peace of mind: “This is Kate.”

There's a brief shuffle on the other end. “Hi, I'm calling from St. Joseph Hospital for a Katherine Whistler?”

“Speaking,” Kate says curtly, prepared to give a spiel about how she won't donate at this time when the caller continues,

“Oh—good morning.” More shuffling. “Is this a good time? I have a sensitive matter to discuss.”

Kate frowns even if the person on the other line can't see it. “Yes, it's fine,” she says, and watches as her work phone lights up with another call that she will just have to return later. 

“I'm calling on behalf of a patient: Lucy Tara. She has you listed as her emergency contact. She is unresponsive and we were wondering if you could come in to discuss the particulars of her care…”

The rest of the call is static. Kate almost drops her phone entirely, only grasping onto select words like they're a lifeline. Lucy is alive. Lucy is hurt. Lucy was found unconscious. Lucy has yet to wake up. Lucy is alive.

Kate doesn't even tell anyone she's leaving; she just goes. Later, senior attorney Michael Curtis will tell Kate that she looked extremely pale and sickly when rushing out of the office, but Kate will only remember a vague blur from that phone call to actually arriving at the hospital. It might be the most reckless thing she’s ever done, come to think of it.

Dr. Carla Chase is the physician assigned to Lucy’s care, and she takes one look at Kate and blinks as if surprised to see her. “Forget an umbrella?”

“I'm sorry?” Kate says, heart caught dangerously high in her throat. She's literally choking on worry—Dr. Chase’s words don't sink in until she takes a step forward and realizes she is currently dripping all over the linoleum floor.

Dr. Chase gives her a small, sympathetic smile. “Let me ease your mind,” she says. “Ms. Tara woke up. Our timeline is good, she was not unconscious for long. Has a concussion and a nasty bump, but she's going to be just fine.”

Kate breathes. “Oh,” she says shakily, and embarrassingly, hot tears spring to her eyes at the confirmation. “That's…great. Thank you.”

“You can come inside, see her. I'll go find you a towel.” Even though Kate is a sopping mess, Dr. Chase still pauses to place a hand on her shoulder and squeeze reassuringly.

Even with the worst over, the hardest part is still walking into the room—harder still is watching as Lucy looks up with those wide, curious eyes that become expressionless the instant she sees Kate.

“Kate? What are you doing here?” Lucy asks, voice not quite harsh but definitely not welcoming.

Kate opens her mouth, but is unable to form words. She's too stuck just staring at Lucy: at the bruise that colors the entirety of the swell of her cheek, at the large bandage over her jaw, at the purpling of her black eye. Any relief at knowing that Lucy is awake sinks into horror at the state of Lucy’s injuries.

“Kate,” Lucy repeats, frowning. “Why do you look like someone died?” A beat. “And why are you wet?”

“The—the hospital called me,” Kate manages. “Are you okay? How are you…how are you feeling?”

“I'm fine. I just fell down a stupid mountain.” Lucy smooths down her blanket, twisting the corner between her fingertips the way she does when she's uncomfortable.

“A mountain?”

“It's not as dramatic as it sounds,” Lucy says. “Kai and I were searching for a missing kid and we got separated, and with the rain it was muddy and foggy and…well, you get it.”

“And he left you there? Unconscious?” Kate has met Kai Holman once or twice, and knows very little about him except that just like Lucy, he volunteers for search and rescue missions to escape his normal job. Beyond that, Kate’s opinion of him is quickly going downhill.

“He wasn't there when it happened,” Lucy argues. “I already texted him and explained, but, I told him he didn't have to come see me or anything.” She stops. “So why did you come?”

“Because the hospital called,” Kate says again, which is pretty self-explanatory.

Apparently, Lucy does not feel the same way. “But you didn't have to answer the phone,” she points out. “We’re not together. You could've just said ‘sorry, she’s my ex’ and called it a day.”

Kate stiffens. “You're the one who has me as your emergency contact. It was the…decent thing to do,” she says.

Lucy rolls her eyes. “Okay, congratulations,” she says, “you have done your civic duty of not being an asshole. But I’m alright, so you can go back to deep-sea diving in your pantsuit or whatever you were up to before this.”

“Hold on,” Kate says, a flare of panic overtaking any objection she might have to Lucy’s disdain (which is completely unwarranted, by the way). “How are you getting home?”

“They’ve invented a modern miracle called an Uber, not sure if you heard.” Lucy waves her phone exaggeratedly. “I’ll survive.”

It's an out, and Kate should take it. She should walk out that door and never look back, let all the unsaid issues between them continue to morph and mutate into something ugly and irreversible. But she can’t. 

“I’ll drive you home,” Kate says at last.

Lucy immediately shakes her head. “That’s not necessary,” she says. “Seriously. If you’re that against Ubers, I can call Kai and get him here in two seconds. He’d be more than happy to take me home.”

“That would be unnecessary. I’m already here.”

“And you don’t have to be,” Lucy reiterates, staring Kate down like she expects her to cave.

If it were any other situation, Kate would. She's soaked head to toe from the rain, she has no obligation to be here, and by all accounts either reason would be a rational excuse to extradite herself from this hospital. Especially the former—the chill of her wet clothes is finally beginning to catch up to her, and she blindly brushes back her damp hair while resisting the urge to shiver. It would be the rational decision to go home and change into warm clothes (and explain to her boss why she left without as much as a text explaining why).

But for once in her life, Kate isn't being rational. “I'm not leaving,” she says, crossing her arms in an attempt to look firm. 

Lucy sighs, sagging backwards against her pillow. “Come on, Kate,” she says. “This is awkward enough. I don't need a babysitter after one tiny little fall.”

“Down a mountain,” Kate says, unable to let that fact go. “What do your parents think about this?”

“I…might've not told them. Exactly.” Lucy bites her lip in an obvious effort not to wince. “I asked for the day off when I woke up, so.”

Kate blinks. “You woke up after a traumatic fall,” she says slowly, “and…asked your parents for PTO.”

“I wouldn't call it traumatic. That's such an ugly word. Limiting, even,” Lucy says. “It would've been a total badass move if it hadn't been, you know, raining.”

A knock against the wall announces Dr. Chase’s arrival, who has thankfully brought Kate that towel. “How are we doing?” she asks.

“Ready to get out of here,” Lucy says, sitting up eagerly. “Whenever you say so, doc.”

“Well, I really would recommend a CT scan to be on the safe side,” Dr. Chase says. “But given that you've passed all our cognitive tests and your vision is good, I can consider a discharge…as long as you have someone at home to monitor you today and make sure no further symptoms arise. And no sleeping until your normal bedtime.”

“I’ll be with her,” Kate interjects as she towels off her hair. Lucy looks like she might argue, but her desire to leave must win out, because she doesn't speak up.

“Fantastic. Let me get your discharge paperwork and a prescription for some painkillers—all over the counter. Then we're going to have a serious discussion about what you should and should not do, okay?”

“Got it. Thanks, Dr. Chase,” Lucy says cheerfully, but the instant the doctor leaves, so does her smile. “What was that? You obviously can't stay with me.”

“I know,” Kate says defensively, even if—for a second—she had been completely prepared to. “I'm sure Ernie or Jane can monitor your symptoms just fine.”

“...yeah,” Lucy agrees slowly, as if she had been expecting Kate to argue. Then, “Oh, shit. I actually forgot to tell Jane I'm here.” She frantically opens her phone and starts texting up a flurry, her brow crinkling as she concentrates on her screen, and Kate is brought back to movie nights spent scouring Wikipedia articles and faux-arguing over date night picks and it's…too much.

This is the opposite of unlearning; this is an all too painful reminder that Lucy Tara is no longer in her life. Kate wrings the damp towel between her hands and takes a deep breath to save face. At the very least, Lucy doesn't seem to have caught on to Kate’s internal turmoil, because when she looks up again all the cheerfulness from before is back.

Kate knows in that instant she never wants Lucy to lose that cheer again. “Everything okay?” she asks, aiming for just-polite-enough interest, and Lucy is gracious enough to allow it.

“They found the missing girl,” Lucy says, sagging backwards in obvious relief. “Thank God.” When she smiles, even if it’s down at her phone, Kate nearly tears up all over again.

“That’s great.” Kate clears her throat, places her hands in her (wet) pockets, and tries very hard to act casual. “So is Jane going to stay with you, then?”

“No—she’s the one who found the kid, she has to stay and give the police a statement,” Lucy mutters, biting her lip distractedly as she types out another message. “I’ll see what Ernie’s up to.”

By the time Dr. Chase comes back with discharge paperwork and a spiel about avoiding screens (during which Lucy noticeably peeks at Kate, like she might rat her out), Kate has already resolved herself to zero interference. Obviously it’s not what she wants, but she listens to Dr. Chase and nods along at all the right times while in her head she is already drafting a very long message to Ernie with all the relevant information. Then she drives Lucy home to that bleak apartment that Lucy lives in mostly as a general “fuck you” to her parents, which Kate swears is either haunted or infested by very spirited roaches.

The entire ride there, Lucy doesn’t say anything about the car’s radio being set to her favorite station (and which  Kate would always complain about), which is just as well. Kate isn’t sure how she would’ve explained it.

“This not sleeping thing sucks, I’m honestly dead tired with our without a concussion,” Lucy groans as she exits the vehicle, stretching her arms overhead.

Kate follows her outside, and when Lucy gives her a questioning look, she says, “Ernie’s not here yet, is he? I can at least wait with you until he does.”

“I’m sure I can survive thirty minutes alone, Kate,” Lucy says. “I won’t pass out the instant you walk away or anything.”

“I’d really rather wait,” Kate says, and Lucy sighs.

“Fine. God, I would’ve changed my emergency contact ASAP if I’d known you would be such a stickler for lame hospital rules.” Lucy wraps herself up in a  large black hoodie which Kate recognizes as her own, still muddy from the fall but otherwise intact.

“Why did you?” Kate finds herself asking, mouth three steps ahead of her head, and Lucy pauses outside her apartment door.

“You mean why didn’t I change it? Because I forgot, I wasn’t exactly expecting to land in the hospital.”

“No, why…why did you make me your emergency contact in the first place?” Kate clarifies, her voice strangely quiet even to her own ears.

Lucy methodically unlocks her door, but her hands falter. “Just because,” she says at last. “You know how it is. Anything was better than my parents. Sorry I didn’t…ask you first.”

“Well, I mean,” Kate shrugs, “I didn’t ask you either.”

At that, Lucy whirls around, mouth agape. “You made me your emergency contact?”

Kate hesitates. “Yes? After like six months. It was a practical decision, we spent pretty much all our time together and I assumed…”

Somehow, she’s said the wrong thing, because Lucy’s eyes darken. “Right.” She moves away, digging through her fridge in search of something to drink, and Kate awkwardly leans against the kitchen counter and tries to make sense of what’s going on.

“Did you eat anything today?” Kate attempts to change the subject. “I can make you something before Ernie gets here.”

Lucy takes a gulp of a water bottle and doesn’t respond, just eyes Kate from across the kitchen with a sharp, unyielding glare. Finally, the words seem to burst out: “I wish you weren’t so—fucking—” She shakes her head. “Do you even know how you sound, sometimes? No girl wants to hear that they’re the practical choice. Just once, I wish you’ve would picked me because you wanted me.”

Kate feels her entire body prickle, partly in shock and partly in indignation. “What are you talking about? I did pick you.”

“Did you?” Lucy tilts her head. “”Cause it kind of feels like you picked the idea of me. At least, that’s how Cara tells it.”

“Seriously? Cara? She—” Kate pauses to exhale, swallows back a frustrated sob. “She’s wrong. I’ve never trusted anyone like I trust you. Fuck, I’ve never loved anyone like I love you.” This time, her voice quivers like the sob might escape, and some of the steel in Lucy’s gaze softens.

“Then why did you leave?”

“I thought that was what you wanted,” Kate says. “You were pushing me away, Lucy. What was I supposed to think?”

“You should’ve fought harder for me,” Lucy says. “You could have talked to me. Jesus, Kate, I don’t—I can’t have this conversation right now. I’m basically a prisoner in my house, this is the last thing I need.”

Kate’s shoulders fall. “I know,” she says. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t do that either,” Lucy snaps, and she chugs the remainder of her water before she stalks out of the room. “No apologies. Okay?”

“Okay.” Kate waits to see if Lucy will come back to the kitchen, but she doesn’t. Instead, she hears the tell-tale sound of Lucy banging around through her board game drawer, because the chess set Ernie gave her rattles and gives it away. Kate tentatively enters the living room, finds Lucy sorting through a Monopoly box, but doesn’t try to say anything else.

Lucy breaks the silence all on her own, eventually. “I have nothing to cook,” she says. “But I asked Ernie to bring food with him.”

“Alright.” Kate doesn’t sit down because her clothes are still damp, but she does wait by the couch. “Can I help with anything?”

“No.” Lucy is sitting cross-legged on the floor and carefully stacking Monopoly money into piles by color, her muddy hoodie occasionally smearing against the carpet. “I’m fine.” She obviously isn’t; her jaw is clenched, her back stiff, her entire demeanor still a perfect mirror of her anger.

Kate wisely doesn’t push. And when Ernie arrives carrying Thai food and a thick stack of books which Lucy is outwardly horrified at, Kate doesn’t try to stay.

“I’m going to send you the doctor’s discharge instructions,” she tells Ernie instead, as Lucy gingerly pokes through one of the books Ernie has handed off. “Make sure Lucy eats something before she takes her meds.”

“On it, Dr. Whistler,” Ernie says seriously, his voice going low so Lucy can’t hear afterward. “And thanks, for being there. Even if you two aren’t…”

Kate casts one final look at Lucy Tara, bundled up in her clothes and adorably pouting at the prospect of reading all night instead of playing board games, and feels her heart beat so hard it hurts. “Take care of her,” she says, but it’s not a request.

Ernie gives her a small, sad smile. “I will.” 

Lucy doesn’t say goodbye, but she does spare Kate one brief, sorrowful once-over like she wants to. Kate memorizes that look—lets it linger in the back of her mind—and doesn’t cry until the first cheery pop song from Lucy’s favorite station starts playing on the drive home.

She hits the button to turn off the radio altogether, but her finger slips and she accidentally switches stations instead. Kate eases the car to a stop at a red light, watches as rain begins to drizzle once more, and then she makes the executive decision to switch it back.

Baby steps.

[piratekane]

spoilers for NCIS: Hawai'i 2x15 (aired February 27, 2023)

Kate has had this dream. The one where she’s laying in bed and she can feel the sun creeping its way into the sky by the warmth that seeps through her light blanket somewhere around her knees before it moves higher, over her hips and navel and to the hollow of her throat. And then - a bed-warm hand that starts somewhere around her wrist, over the quickening pulse of nerves, that moves to the crook of her elbow and curls there. She feels fingernails scratching at the bone, and the gentle but insistent question: are you awake? In her dream, she smiles into the pillow under her cheek and grumbles out a harmless no. In her dream, a laugh reaches her ears - soft and like a song she’s heard before but never really stopped to appreciate until it was a sound just for her. In her dream, she rolls and feels the warm press of a body against hers, feels that laugh in her bones now instead of her ears.

In her dream, Lucy whispers good morning and Kate thinks, each day, yes. Yes, this is a good morning.

She’s had this dream every night since Lucy left. When she wakes up alone, curled into one side of the bed around a space where Lucy would be, everything is bittersweet. She’s happy that Lucy is stepping into who she wants to be; happy that Lucy is conquering her fears and thinking about her future. She’s sad that it means Lucy is somewhere else; sad that Lucy is so far away, that she’s not just on the other side of that pillow rise, eyes already open and smiling back at her.

A finger brushes over her brow. “Good morning,” dream-Lucy says.

Kate says what she always does. “It will be when you’re here.”

There’s a soft chuckle, more of an exhale than a noise. “And if I’m already here? What kind of upgrade is that?”

Kate’s eyes open and she blinks as Lucy - real and living and breathing and fingers slowly threading into her pajama top Lucy - comes into focus. Her smile is crooked, amused, and her eyes sparkle as she waits for an answer Kate can’t quite pull out of her mouth.

“I think it’s be a great morning, at least,” Lucy finally finishes. “Blink twice if you agree.”

Kate blinks three times and Lucy laughs, so loud and so bright and so perfect that Kate feels her lungs expand with the sound.

“You’re here.”

Lucy winds her fingers a little deeper into the fabric of Kate’s shirt, sliding closer instead of pulling. “I’m here. And I forgot how great here is. Soft blankets, firm pillows, a comfortable mattress.” Another inch closer. “The love of my life right next to me.”

It still does something to her, every time Lucy says the word love. She still can’t believe it. She, Kate Whistler, gets to be loved by Lucy Tara - out loud, for everyone to see. No more secrets, no more sneaking around. She carries it around like a badge she can’t help but show off. Look at me. Look what I’ve become with all this love.

“You’re really here?” She can’t help but ask again. She’s had this dream. And each time she’s woken up alone in a bed that never felt too big before now, in an apartment she never saw herself sharing with anyone.

Lucy must know. Lucy always knows. For all the ways Kate has tightened up her corners and pressed down on the parts of herself she didn’t want anyone to see, Lucy has always been able to get her to unfold and expand, to let herself grow instead of shrink down.

So Lucy doesn’t tease her. She doesn’t laugh or roll her eyes at what she’s sure is a stretch of fear in her voice. Lucy runs her finger across her brow instead, lets it follow a path down the slope of her nose and off the end of it, the pad of her thumb brushing against Kate’s bottom lip.

“I’m here,” she says, voice steady and sure. “And here is where I’m going to stay.”

Kate has had this dream before but all of it pales in comparison to the way Lucy closes the final inches between them and kisses her good morning like the last 4 months have just been a series of moments, of dreams, leading up to this one right here. This one that is real.

[quanticowrites]

Surf (Kate Whistler x Reader)

•• First Whistler fic! For anon, I hope you enjoy! ••

“Ow! God damn it!”

“If you’d stop moving, this would be less painful!”

“You’re putting too much pressure! It’s going to start bleeding again!”

“I’m certified in this shit, (y/n).” She said, tightening the bandage some more around your waist. “I know what I’m doing.” You winced. Well, you had no one to blame but yourself for getting shot. You’d hesitated because the shooter was so young. Kate leaned back on her knees and sighed. “You never should have been there in the first place.”

“I was doing just fine until-!” You stopped and took a sharp intake of breath through your teeth. Yelling did not help the pain that blossomed from your torso. “Fuck.”

“Don't strain yourself.” She stated, getting off the bed and helping you get leaned up against some pillows at the headboard. “Tennant knew I would object to this. That's why she was sure to get you out there before I could say anything.” She paused as if she wanted you to say something. Maybe tell her she was wrong. Unfortunately…she wasn't. Jane knew how Kate would feel about you going into deep cover, so she rushed you out of the building as fast as possible before Kate’s FBI team could catch wind of her plan. There was a new chain of dry cleaners popping up on the island, but it was a front for a drug ring trying to establish itself here. Jane wanted to nip it in the bud before it could get out of control. So, she put you on the inside. You'd been under for two weeks before this incident. Meaning you had two weeks of Kate ranting to go before she got over it. “Are you going to object?” She asked, crossing her arms. You scoffed.

“No, I'm not. I agreed with Tennant’s decision.” You saw her jaw clench. She wasn't happy about this new revelation.

“You what?”

“I chose to go undercover.”

“Why would you do that?” You blinked. She hadn't been informed of that part?

“Kate, I'm more than capable of taking care of myself. I've been with NCIS just as long as you've been with the FBI.”

“It's not that-.” She huffed. “I just…you couldn't find two minutes to tell me about it?”

“Not really.” You start, already not liking the answer you had to give. “With helping Ernie make the fake background and social media to Tennant running me out of there…my mind was scrambling.” Kate sighed again. But this one seemed more understanding. If that made sense. She gently sat on the other side of the bed. Doing her best not to jostle you.

“FBI Agents go dark in the field all the time.” She started to fidget with her fingers. Picking at her nails and peeling the nail polish off in chunks. “I'm used to that at work. But…I never thought that might happen with you.” She laughed. “I don't know why, you're an agent just like I am. It could happen to us at any moment.”

“Come on, Kate. It's late. Lay down.” You lifted the blanket and Kate sent you a smile before snuggling underneath and curling up close to you. “How about…we have a secret word.” She blinked, her lips twitching upwards.

“Like…for sex?” You laughed, before biting your lip. Laughing that hard did not help the pain from your gunshot wound.

“N-no. Not for s-sex.” You waited until you regained your composure before telling her your actual idea. “For if one of us gets called to go undercover.” You saw her eyes moving through scenes in her mind. She ultimately nodded.

“That sounds like a good idea.”

“I have good ideas.”

“On occasion.”

“I have good ideas all the time!”

“Tell that to the last load of laundry you did.”

“I genuinely thought adding bleach and detergent at the same time would wash both white and regular clothes.”

“Where did you hear that?”

“No one! I just thought of it!” You reached your hand out and held a finger to the tip of her nose. “Anyway, you're getting off-topic. We still gotta pick a word.”

“Alright. Fine.”

“How about…Aristotle?”

“The Philosopher?”

“Yeah.”

“No.”

“Okay. Cheetos?”

“Cheetos?”

“They're my favorite junk food.”

“I already knew that.” You moved your finger to her forehead. “Let's pick a word that can be easily moved into a conversation. In case we have to be quick about it.”

“How can you be so smart and so dumb at the same time.”

“It baffles the mind.” You looked her over with a smile. “Come on, that brain of yours can think of something.”

“Then….how about surf?” You nodded. That was a practical word for two agents that worked in Hawaii. Surfing was one of the most popular things to do on the island. It could work.

“That's perfect.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Kate.” You sighed, feeling the constraints of your bandages. “Your bandage skills aren't perfect though.”

Tag list:

@stanathanxoox , @nikkiwierden , @malindacath , @havlindzk , @countrygal17a , @memyselfandmaddox , @octobersmog , @mizzezm , @diaryofafan17 , @emmitheacefangirl , @a-sad-excuse-of-everything , @marennnx

[halforcdad]

20 hours later and I still can't get over Kacy....

[Spoiler alert for those who haven't seen ncis hawaii 2x20]

Them...reenacting their first meeting...on their anniversary...just looking at each other w heart eyes and soft smiles...*look at a photo of them* *cry*

that scene! that episode!

kate leaning in whispering excitedly in a busy bar to lucy (strangely enough, it reminded me very vaguely of a scene from this fic i love) to keep going! and let me tell you i was not prepared for the zoom out showing just how close they really were and kate's hand on lucy's arm! and lucy's hand on top of it! like hello is this allowed

and can we for a second appreciate that while lucy made the first move, kate answered in kind telling her to come closer? i feel like we focus on lucy's game a lot (rightfully so bc girl's got moves), but as their banter, lucy's praise (almost always highlighting how smart and charming kate is), and this scene show: whistler's got mad rizz too LMAOOO

lucy saying in the beginning of the episode how she wanted to celebrate their awesomeness as a couple and how far they've come and then the episode ending with them at the bar they first met, reenacting their first conversation, where kate literally spells out the differences between that night and this reenactment (they're too intimate now to commit to the casual dance they were doing the first time and that makes me wanna scream), where we can see clearly just how far they've come with their body language, their easy, intimate conversation (Kate reassuring Lucy that it isn't silly and being all for it, s1 kate would never), them breaking character laughing at themselves, enjoying this moment with each other and the love that would eventually come out of it

all this plus everything we got in 2x19, kacy is so fucking back baby

[mangeur-detoiles]

1, 36, and 37 for the gif ask game? 👀💕

Hi!

Thank you for your questions. Before answering, I'd like to tell you again how much I enjoy your fics. Your Kacy Hunger Games AU is amazing and very inspiring.

How did you get into graphics / gif making?

I became interested in graphics and gif-making when I joined the Clexa fandom and Tumblr a few years ago. Here's my first gifset. I was sooooo into clexa and I wanted to contribute to the community and express my enthusiasm. Unfortunately, I'm not very good at writing, so I decided to create gifs and graphics instead.

36. Graphic makers, how do you get started on a graphic? (How do you get an idea!)

I get ideas from basically everything, lol. It could be a quote, an analysis someone wrote about a character or a scene, a color, or a picture... For example, this set came from the first gif. I love Whistler's look, her profile, her hair, everything about it. I wanted to create something with it. I made a list of what I felt or thought while watching it. Several weeks later, I associated it with a quote. Choosing the other scenes was easy. I selected the effects (fading from black and white to colors, red border, etc.) to illustrate Kate's evolution from a sad and isolated place to a happy and loved one.

Regardless of the starting point, the most crucial part for me is always translating ideas and feelings into visual elements such as colors, effects, and fonts. Most of the time, the solutions come out of nowhere, often when I let my mind wander (sorry, not very useful for other gifmakers :(

I hope this answers your question and makes sense! :-P

37. Gif/graphic makers, what do you feel is a must in every gif/graphic?

Tough question.

I believe that achieving the right balance and using the correct color shades are essential. When feelings and ideas are conveyed effectively, even without the use of many colors or effects, the result can be stunning and impactful. All the gifs in the set should complement each other to create overall harmony.

I'm very sensitive to colors. I changed the shade of Kate's shirt in a few gifsets, like this one, because I couldn't stand the original color. It's a very personal preference :)

[littlesolo]

looks like lucy has a new sworn enemy of the sea that she has to protect kate from 🦦 😂

twitter.com/nativesantacruz/status/1678519671534809097?s=46&t=BIHSXSfYF0KQIfSBbMcxHw

I love it!!! It's adorable!!!

*Lucy sits up from where she's spread out on a beach towel* Lucy: Where's your board?

Kate: I had to surrender it.

Lucy: Surrender it?

Kate: It's his now.

*Lucy sits all the way up, ready to fight*

Lucy: Some guy stole your surfboard?

Kate: It's his now. Can't fight it. He's fuzzy and cute and claimed it with his paws.

Lucy: Who are we talking about here?

[performativezippers]

I absolutely love Alone and would love the director’s cut of it, but particularly of this part

Kate is taller than Lucy by a good six inches, but she seems small right now, curled in on herself, like she’s bracing herself against something heavy and devastating.

Lucy’s forgotten to be angry for the last few minutes, too focused on figuring out the mystery of what is making Kate so twitchy, on picturing the woman she loved lying in pool of her own coagulating blood, but as the answer makes itself clear to her, she can already feel the rage starting to simmer in her gut again.

It’s the only gap in the timeline. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

All she has to say is, “How’d you get to the hospital?” and Kate looks up at her, pressing her lips into a thin, white line, the worry lines in her forehead standing out, stark and deep against the unhealthy pallor of her face.

Kate doesn’t bother to lie to her. “I took an uber,” she says, and, there it is.

Lucy fucking loses it.

The image of Kate in a fucking stranger’s car, huddled in the backseat, hiding her blood and her fear from some strange man, someone who could have taken advantage of her, hurt her even more. He must have smelled the blood, seen the clots in her hair. Lucy finds herself wanting to rip his head off; he, who was there at Kate’s most vulnerable moment, when he did fucking nothing to deserve it.

He, who was there when Lucy should have been.

The fury finds Lucy again and sweeps her off her feet, carrying her along in a wild current. She can tell that underneath the rapids are huge boulders of fear, but she lets herself skim the surface, only letting the pure rage touch her.

Oh i love this fic! This makes me happy.

This fic was from a prompt, which I rarely do these days, but it was such a great idea that it really grabbed me right away. I loved the idea of Kate being so alone that when something bad happens, she can't fathom having anyone there for her. I think a lot about living alone, being so isolated, lacking any sense of community like Season 1 Whistler did. As someone who is chronically ill and lucky enough to be married to a wonderful person, I don't have to worry about that. When I passed out in the bathroom a few years ago, she was literally right next to me, and by the time I came to she was already on the phone with 911, sat next to me for 12 hours in the ER while I waited to be seen, all that jazz. So thinking about a similar situation for Kate without a WifeZipps was really what gripped me here.

Also, random aside, the imagery of Kate waking up in the pool of her blood was inspired by an episode of Bones from the first season I think, where Bones is in New Orleans and she wakes up hurt and bleeding, alone, and she doesn't know where she is or what happened, or even if all the blood was hers. Booth flies down and is in a fucking tizzy the whole episode that someone hurt his (not)girlfriend, and so that's some of the energy I pulled into this fic.

Anyway, I wrote this fic originally as just the first chapter, just a sad Kate POV, and then I realized I wanted Lucy's response too, that maybe the meat of the fic was actually in Lucy's revelation, rather than Kate's injury.

What I enjoyed so much was playing with the POV's. In Kate's, re: the uber, all she says is: "She changes her bloody shirt, puts on a baseball hat and a jacket with a popped collar, and doesn’t give the driver a good look at the right side of her head. The drive isn’t long, but the waiting room at the hospital is full."

Meanwhile, as you posted above, Lucy says: "The image of Kate in a fucking stranger’s car, huddled in the backseat, hiding her blood and her fear from some strange man, someone who could have taken advantage of her, hurt her even more. He must have smelled the blood, seen the clots in her hair. Lucy finds herself wanting to rip his head off; he, who was there at Kate’s most vulnerable moment, when he did fucking nothing to deserve it. He, who was there when Lucy should have been."

Kate is so practical, right. "I put on a hat, it was fine." Meanwhile Lucy is catastrophizing but also much more correct, with her fear that he can see it, smell it, want to take advantage of it. Getting in an uber in the middle of the night as a woman alone is scary no matter what, and then if you're bleeding, hurt, disoriented, it's so much worse. I would be Lucy if my wife told me she took a fucking uber to the hospital with an open head wound. I would be so fucking scared for her.

I liked playing with Kate only realizing how fucking dumb that was when she sees it reflected in Lucy's eyes. And I like Lucy only realizing how alone Kate is when confronted with the matter-of-fact-ness of Kate's decision to go alone, to ride alone, to wait alone, to sleep alone, to clean up the blood alone. Kate is like, well obviously, what else would I have done? And that makes Lucy realize so many things. And I like that.

[ao3feed-ncishawaii]

they say i did something bad then why's it feel so good?

by kacystennant kate knows it was a bad choice, even though she didn't choose it (and saying it happened even though it was lame was the best answer she could give, and she kind of gave it to sam), but she slept with her boss OR: 3 times kate knew she hadn't made the best choice and 1 time she was chosen Words: 11998, Chapters: 1/4, Language: English Fandoms: NCIS: Hawai'i Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/F Characters: Jane Tennant, Kate Whistler, Maggie Shaw, Heather Boone, Jesse Boone, Kai Holman, Ernie Malik, Melissa Clark - OC, Samantha Baker - OC, Cara (NCIS: Hawai'i), Original Female Character(s) Relationships: Jane Tennant/Kate Whistler Additional Tags: Alternative Universe — Lawyer Tenstler, Mentioned Character Death, romantic, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining via https://ift.tt/q9cFGTI