#▲��▲ let me love you || meme call

[kxsagi]

So, bllk guys were at home, then they hear ring at door, turns out their s/o ordered a package... Which turns out to be four foot tall plush version of them. How would they react??

Bonus: If they ask: "You do aware you literally date me, right? Why do you need that thing in the first place?" S/O just responds: "Well... You are gone not for weeks, but for months because of your matches, I do miss you and get lonely, you know."

Basically that meme: Ah yes, me, my partner and their four foot tall plush of me

“𝐦𝐞, 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞”

a/n: i freaking love this meme

ft. shidou ryusei, itoshi sae, itoshi rin, isagi yoichi, kaiser michael

shidou ryusei

shidou was chilling on the couch, legs kicked up on the armrest, scrolling through his phone when the doorbell rang. he didn’t even bother moving at first, assuming it was a neighbor or some random delivery guy. but then he heard you call out, “babe, can you grab the door?”

with a groan, he dragged himself off the couch, shirtless in nothing but sweats, and swung the door open. 

his eyes narrowed. a massive box sat on the doorstep, and he squinted at the label. your name. “uh, what the hell did you buy?”

he kicked the box lightly, feeling how weirdly soft it was.

cue him watching you gleefully tear it open like a kid on christmas, only to pull out… a four foot tall plush of him.

he blinked. once. twice. “nah. no way.” he stalked over, snatching the plush from your hands. “the fuck is this thing?!”

you grinned. “do you like it? it’s you!”

he deadpanned. “yeah, no shit it’s me. why do you need this freaky-ass clone of me?”

when you shyly explained, “well… you’re gone not just for weeks, but for months because of your matches, so i do miss you and get lonely, you know,” he just stared at you.

his eye twitched. “so your solution was to get a diet version of me? the walmart brand?”

but instead of being annoyed, shidou cracked a wild grin. he picked the plush up and body-slammed it onto the couch. “alright, plush boy. you think you’re my replacement? let’s go.”

proceeds to fake-wrestle the plush, talking mad shit to it like he’s in some WWE promo.

“you think you can satisfy my girl, huh?! you ain't got the rizz, bro!”

bonus: he dramatically throws the plush on the bed and smirks at you. “now you’ve got two of me. double the trouble, baby.” 

itoshi sae

sae was on the couch, flipping through a sports magazine, feet tucked under a blanket like the cozy grandpa he is.

the doorbell rang, and he glanced at you, expecting you to answer. when you didn’t move, he sighed through his nose and dragged himself to the door.

he opened it only to find a massive box sitting there. his first thought was, “what in the capitalist hell did she buy this time?”

he carried it inside effortlessly, setting it down in front of you.

sae watched with mild disinterest as you opened it, then immediately did a slow blink when you pulled out a life-sized plush of him.

his expression was blank. just pure silence.

he blinked. once. twice. thrice. then:

“… you are aware you literally date me, right? why do you need that thing in the first place?”

you bit your lip and sheepishly muttered, “well… you’re gone not just for weeks, but for months because of your matches, so i do miss you and get lonely, you know.”

his eyes softened. just a fraction. his fingers twitched slightly, but he masked it with a dry sigh.

“you’re ridiculous.”

and then, without saying anything else, he walked away.

you frowned, assuming he was brushing it off, but five minutes later, you peeked into the bedroom… and saw him lying on the bed with the plush tucked under his arm.

he glanced at you, looking unbothered. “what? you bought it. might as well use it.”

bonus: after a couple of hours, you find him subtly fluffing its hair to make it look less disheveled. he side-eyes you with a faint glare when you giggle. “say anything, and i’m throwing it out.”

itoshi rin

rin was at the kitchen counter, filling his water bottle after finishing his home workout, his black tank clinging to his skin.

the doorbell rang, but he ignored it. not his problem.

when you called out, “rinnie, it’s a package!” he wiped his face with a towel and muttered, “you ordered it, you get it.”

that is, until he saw you struggling with a box twice your size. he clicked his tongue and walked over, grabbing it from you effortlessly and setting it down.

when you tore the box open and pulled out a four foot plush version of him, rin’s eyes narrowed immediately.

his gaze was stone cold.

“what the hell is that.”

you hugged the plush, beaming. “it’s you!”

his face twitched. deadpan. blank stare.

“you are aware you literally date me, right? why do you need that thing in the first place?”

when you shyly admitted, “well… you’re gone not just for weeks, but for months because of your matches, so i do miss you and get lonely, you know,” he just stared at you.

rin exhaled slowly, then turned his back to you.

“whatever.”

but later that night, you woke up from your nap and found the plush sitting on the floor… facing the wall. 

you squinted at rin, who was on his phone, clearly the culprit.

“why is he in timeout?” you asked, raising a brow.

rin didn’t even look up. “didn’t like the way he was looking at me.”

bonus: he pretends to hate it but you catch him stealing glances at it from time to time. and when you’re asleep? he tosses a blanket over it so it doesn’t “stare” at him.

isagi yoichi

isagi was on the couch, happily binge-watching his favorite anime when he heard the doorbell.

he jumped up enthusiastically, assuming it was the food delivery you mentioned.

when he opened the door, he paused. big-ass box.

“huh? i didn’t order anything…”

he carried it inside and watched in confusion as you eagerly opened it.

his jaw dropped when you pulled out a massive plush of him.

he blinked. “wait… hold on. hold on. is that… me?!”

you beamed. “isn’t it cute?”

he looked genuinely concerned for your mental health.

“love… you’re aware you literally date me, right? why do you need that thing in the first place?”

when you softly admitted, “well… you’re gone not just for weeks, but for months because of your matches, so i do miss you and get lonely, you know,” his face fell slightly.

his eyes softened immediately.

he slowly walked over and wrapped his arms around you. “aw… baby…” he cooed, kissing the side of your head.

then without warning, he snatched the plush and started cradling it like a baby.

“yo, this is so cool though. look! i can practice celebrations with it!”

proceeds to mimic goal celebrations with the plush, spinning it around and fake high-fiving it.

bonus: the next day, you find him sprawled out on the couch with the plush tucked under his arm while he naps. 

kaiser michael

kaiser was lounging in bed, shirt unbuttoned and hair still damp from his shower, casually scrolling through his phone when the doorbell rang.

he waited. and waited. clearly expecting you to answer it.

when you didn’t move, he let out a dramatic sigh, muttering something about how he shouldn’t have to lift a finger for such trivial tasks.

he dragged himself to the door like he was doing the world’s most exhausting chore.

but when he opened it, his brows furrowed at the massive box sitting on the doorstep.

“what the hell is this?” he muttered, carrying it inside effortlessly.

he barely paid attention as you tore into it excitedly, until you yanked out a four foot tall plush version of him.

his jaw dropped slightly. he blinked once. then twice.

“wait… hold on.” he pointed at the plush. then at himself. then back at the plush.

his lips slowly curled into a self-satisfied smirk.

“oh. oh, this is perfect.”

instead of being confused or freaked out like a normal person, kaiser’s ego inflated tenfold.

he snatched the plush from you, holding it at arm’s length, examining it with faux critical eyes.

“hmm. the hair could use a bit more volume. and the eyes? they’re not as dazzling as the real thing.”

then he turned to you with a playful grin.

“but i get it, schatz. i’m gone for weeks at a time. naturally, you’d need a placeholder.”

he leaned in close, voice low and teasing. “but you know… if you were that lonely, you could’ve just flown out to see me.” 

when you explained softly, “well… you’re gone not just for weeks, but for months because of your matches, so i do miss you and get lonely, you know,” his eyes softened for half a second.

but then his smirk returned with twice the arrogance.

“aww, you miss me that much, huh?”

bonus: later, you catch him posing the plush around the house, making it sit on the couch with crossed legs like it owns the place.

he even takes selfies with it and posts them on his story with captions like:

“double the kaiser, double the greatness 😎✨”

“which one is the real me? 👑”

“@bluelockofficial take notes. merch idea.”

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[martialartslover7]

...Unironically, if you are accepting of his death, considering the context surrounding it beyond the battlefield and the confines of the story, do you even deserve to call yourself a fan of Neji? Or even Hinata, let alone NaruHina, dare I say? The fact that it's been confirmed, that he only got killed off to continue pushing a ship, that BARELY had any screentime or proper development, period (coming from a NaruHina guy myself), is this really the level of mediocrity and BS that we are supposed to eat up? Neji was barely even present in the story, and yet we are supposed to feel so uber sad over his passing, that not only got memed to death for how ridiculous it looked, but also for the dumbass writing decision as a whole?

But what makes his death even more humiliating and coming off like pure ill intent on the writer's behalf: Neji's passing affected literally NOTHING. His clan treated him and the Side Branch like expendable garbage, ALL THE WAY TO THE END. The only substantial value he was ever able to provide, SUPPOSEDLY, is giving his life to the Main Branch. That was literally all what the story showed. Never mind the fact that, Naruto actually promised to change the Hyuga clan, wanting to actually help Neji and Hinata, yeah, whatever happened to that, right? No, no, no, Neji is the one needing to die, so that he and Hinata can "grow closer", as if they were ever super close to begin with, ignoring Shippuden, which did pretty much nothing with them, except for a confession scene, that went NOWHERE.

And even if, let's just pretend that maybe, there really wasn't that much to do with him to begin with, let's accept that in theory: Does it really justify killing off a character, all for the sake of a freaking SHIP? Just the mere IDEA of it.

Any sane human-being would probably agree: This should go without saying. That is, without exception, a HORRIBLE reason to kill off a character, let alone, again, for a ship, that was a huge Nothing Burger, for the majority of the series, and only got made canon, because it was super popular. Not because there was any real substance or character to it all, because let's be real here, and I had to learn that the hard way:

NARUTO. BARELY. ACKNOWLEDGED. HINATA'S EXISTENCE. LET ALONE, ROMANTICALLY.

Making Neji's sacrifice come off as a moronic leap of faith, believing "Oh, they are super-uber in love, so I will gladly give my life to protect Lady Hinata, and entrust her life to Naruto"...

...despite, once Minato was talking to Naruto, asking if Sakura was his girlfriend, HE AGREED WITH HIM. HE. AGREED. No hesitation, no reminder, consideration or memory of Hinata's feelings, he barely even knows she is existing in his hubris, and Shippuden did little to nothing to counteract his mindset, even though she confessed her feelings to him, a few arcs ago (sure, "I love you" can be understood in Japanese as a different way of saying, that you love someone on a friendship-based level, but considering the overall vibe of the confession, it didn't come off like "friendship" to me, and anyone with the ability to read the room). He always had eyes for Sakura (I also don't like it, man, I am not here to make enemies, I am just going off of what canonically went down, why else am I so pissed off to begin with? I also wanted him and Hinata to grow together as one, but it is what it is). And that's a sad fact that we have to swallow. We can come up with all kinds of headcanons and "educated wishes", but it doesn't change the reality of the situation that: NARUTO. FORGETS. HINATA. EVEN EXISTS.

And that is the core reason, why Neji's death, is just that:

POINTLESS.

Not only does his entire character arc get disrespected (it just went nowhere, man, he just dies, and it does NOTHING), causing Hinata's lack of action to come off as a selfish woman (let's stop lying to ourselves, Hinata may not KNOWINGLY be selfish, considering her backstory, but she is selfish regardless, so let's stop pretending, she is a pure, innocent angel, that was always her gravest weakspot), who only seeks out the affection of a guy, which he never returned ONCE, and his uncle gets to continue living, putting on the act of a loving grandpa, all the while, we don't get an OUNCE of confirmation if the Caged Bird Seal, or the Branch family bullshit has been abolished. We only see the Main Branch being mostly involved in Naruto's and Hinata's family affairs, which only implies to me, they probably changed SQUAT. Yeah. No. This is just the pits.

Neji died. FOR ALL THIS NONSENSE. Kishimoto should honestly be ashamed of himself. Glory for one character, at the expense of another. Let alone someone, who was written to be treated like dog water for the majority of his existence by his own family, but fuck all of us, he doesn't deserve a peaceful ending. Because he is from the Side Branch.

PEACE.

More than ten years later and I still will never forget

[somewiseoutthere]

BYLER TUMBLR QUICK GUIDE (renewed)

Hi! Welcome to byler tumblr dear, you are going to have SO much fun here, but you might want to know some things about it...

Unspoken Rules:

-Dont insult ANY of the members of this community, if you want to have beef, this is not the place for it

-Dont post anything inapropiated about byler, remember that if you do someone will send a message and people might block you.

-Dont steal theories

-Be kind! We are just trying to have a safe space for us.

-You need to ship bychance (satire) or at least recognize the 29383 Will's bfs

Byler crisis:

-CONTENT DROUGHT

-BYLER DOUBT:

We are a hive mind, which means if someone has byler doubt, everyone somehow has, these are the common reasons why we have doubt:

-Content drought

-Infiltrated milevens

-No reason, we are just bored

-We had a byler almost confirmation moment, so now we have to compensate

How to survive a BYLER DOUBT crisis:

1- Escape tumblr as soon as possible, it is infected, normally it goes away in 1 day or less, but who knows...

2- Spread byler positivity

3- Watch analysis if you get infected

Now, we got the best part! The GATES (name we use for our theories or memes):

The big four are:

•Flickergate: Mike and Will kiss in the UD, that's the reasonthe lights flickered in their first scene.

•Birthdaygate: Why did a detail-oriented show just forget about such an important thing?

•Lettergate: Mike wrote love letters to Will when he was gone in California

•Phonegate: Mike did call Will (confirmed)...So why didn't he tell him?

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

LOBEGATE:

It's hard to... understand. Just look it up, you won't regret it

IMPORTANT NOTE: A new gate is created every moth, in hope we will get crumbs

Now that we are done with the byler popular gates, let's talk about the icons you might find here:

Our dear artists: @kidovna @taeiris @thai-09 @ramdomassname @ilvaashlnx @furimmer96arts @diavalkitty @hazaddd1223

Our youtube icons: @elephantshoetoo @cloudycleric @teambyler @kaypeace21 @pinksmonkey

Our lawyer: @teambyler

Our Book writer: @queerxqueen

Icon: @will80sbyers

Our news sources: @kittykat940 @bylertruth3r @will80sbyers

Our analyst: @gayofthefae

Other divas: @reddthekingg @evilbookworm @lorax-devito @itslikesearcingforsomething

Lobegate squad: @somewiseoutthere @itslikesearcingforsomething @4rielle @noihavenosanitythanksforasking @clericallyinsane

(Im sorry I might have forgotten some people, yall are so special to me)

Remember to have fun!

[stereopticons]

On This Day In Schitt's Creek: March 28

2019

A Dog's Life [david/patrick, T, 2,572] by @mostlyinthemorning

David rescues a stray puppy.

Rhapsody in Sand and Stone [david/patrick, T, 9,625] by Coffee_Flavored_Kisses

Patrick finds an old piano, and decides it would be the perfect addition to the store. David has a hard time agreeing with this.

Through a New Lens [david/patrick, T, 4,623] by kt_rose28

David is forced to bring his glasses out of retirement, much to his dismay. The “nerdy” look is not a part of his aesthetic.

2020

1950 [david/patrick, E, 33,619] by unkindravens

Set in 1950s New York, Patrick Brewer has a good job and loving fiancee. He meets David Rose, gallery owner, and his world changes.

A Little Bit [david/patrick, G, 3,126] by returntosaturn

The night before their flight leaves, Alexis sends an SOS text. // POSSIBLE SPOILERS for 6.12 While packing, Alexis finds the DVD copy of her limited reality series, A Little Bit Alexis. A watch party ensues.

waiting for a sleepy feeling [david/patrick, T, 4,084] by @kiranerys42

David and Patrick end up having a sleepover after all. This is exactly the same story as another fic I wrote -- my mind is set on you -- but this time, from Patrick's point of view.

2021

...If You Show Me Yours [david/patrick, M, 1,275] by @schittposting

Patrick flirts with David, then sees something in David's sweatpants that makes his imagination run wild.

A Designated Grape [johnny/moira, M, 1,005] by orphan_account

Johnny and Moira have a little innocent fun after Moira and David spend the day at the winery.

A Pleasure to Burn [david/patrick, G, 100] by @seadeepy

David leans against the counter and folds his arms, wound as tight and sharp-edged as piano wire.

A Storm Like Before [david/patrick, G, 100] by @seadeepy

David's despair tastes of macaroni salad and medium-rare hamburger.

all the beautiful parts of him [david/patrick, E, 1,995] by @blackandwhiteandrose

While on their honeymoon, Patrick discovers a side of David he's never seen before.

BDE (Big Dick Energy) [david/patrick, M, 869] by @smallumbrella369

David video calls his new business partner and the screen freezes with Patrick standing in front of his laptop. David's brain gets stuck.

Come On, Let's Sweat, Baby [david/patrick, M, 2,908] by @apothecarypants

The most unfair thing of all are the sweatpants. The cheap grey sweatpants. The goddamn cotton-blend discount store sweatpants that are gently hugging Patrick’s perfect peach while David tries to look like he’s not captivated by the view. Walking lunges! Reverse lunges! Pulsing squats! How could it possibly get any better (worse)? So it gets better (worse).

Even Better than the Real Meme [david/patrick, E, 2,561] by Elsewherefumbling

David stays at Patrick's after all following Season 4 Episode 1, Dead Guy In Room 4. Patrick said he needed to take it slower than a sleepover...tonight and David does his best to abide. But, he has a lot of trouble doing it. Not technically an alternate ending (since we don't have canon for what happens between DGIR4 and Pregnancy Test), but it sure feels like an alternate ending.

Everything's Okay [david/patrick, NR, 2,133] by McRaider

What if David had continued to ramble (as he does) talking over Marcy, and getting himself worked up over the idea of Patrick not being accepted. What if Johnny hadn’t interrupted, what if all those emotions started surfacing.

Fast in the Head but Slow in the Bed [david/patrick, E, 2,123] by reginahalliwell

Early in their relationship, David comes over to Ray's for an impromptu visit in lieu of a cancelled date. Patrick has just gotten out of the shower and is a little more underdressed than David has seen him before.

hot enough to last [alexis/twyla, E, 400] by @sarahlevys

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to come.” “I know.” Twyla kisses her again, and strips Alexis’ shirt off when Alexis nods. “So let’s just make each other feel good. And whatever happens, happens.” Alexis and Twyla learn how to make a relationship hurdle a non-issue, and to put each other first. AKA: Twyla can't always come, and Alexis makes her peace with that.

Hungary [clint/marcy, T, 300] by Rosey_Peach

I'll Show You Mine... [david & stevie, M, 1,000] by @midnightstreet

What has been seen cannot be unseen. How is David supposed to go about his life now that he knows what's in Patrick's pants?!

i've had no love like your love [david/patrick, G, 100] by @seadeepy

The word is new to both of them, in different ways.

it's a Plan [david/patrick, E, 1,566] by Amanita_Fierce

“Just...something I’ve been thinking about,” Patrick said, watching David look increasingly perplexed. “You’ve been thinking about...cheap polyester sweatpants?” David asked, voice lifting and face scrunching as he dubiously lifted the grey fabric out of the bag between thumb and forefinger. “Well, no. I’ve been thinking about you wearing them. What they were made of seemed immaterial to me. I’m still learning,” he smirked. **Patrick makes a plan to fulfill one of his pre-relationship fantasies. David is a good listener and a good sport

Jewish Channing Tatum [david/patrick, T, 896] by DawnDust

Patrick has a lot to say on the car ride after his wisdom teeth are removed.

Knockdown Pitch [david/patrick, T, 6,341] by eringiles

Knockdown Pitch (n): A slang term in baseball for the pitcher (Ronnie) hitting the batter (Patrick) with a pitched ball, either intentionally or accidentally. (It was definitely an accident...)

know something now i didn't before [alexis/twyla, T, 687] by @wafflesfriendswork

Alexis and Twyla navigate having different sexual preferences and how not liking a specific thing is totally okay. Note: No actual sex will be depicted, but they talk about it (which is why this has the rating it does).

let me see you do that yoga [alexis/twyla, M, 967] by @hullomoon

While doing yoga with Twyla, Alexis has something else in mind

Now You See It [david/patrick, M, 1,991] by @lisamc-21

Patrick cooks David a totally platonic business dinner (he's super not pining over David at all, nope), and David has a spaghetti oops on his (and Patrick's) favorite white jeans. Patrick being the absolute button he is, helps David save the jeans and gives him a pair of his grey sweats to wear in the meantime. But when those sweatpants highlight a certain attribute, well, Patrick just can't keep his attention from wandering. Rated M for Patrick's absolute thirst for David.

Patrick Brewer vs Making Love in a Canoe [david/patrick, M, 1,372] by @mostlyinthemorning

When Ray recreates the Festival du Voyageur in Schitt’s Creek, Patrick takes the opportunity to surprise David with their own private festival activities.

Say It [david/patrick, T, 1,496] by davidrosestan

If anyone asks why David’s been staring himself down in the bathroom mirror for seventeen minutes already, with no end in sight, they should know to blame Tina Turner. Which, he knows, is an affront, but it’s kinda true. Well, not really.

Shape of You [david/patrick, E, 1,845] by @dazedwriter1

10 years into their marriage, David and Patrick had fallen into a comfortable weekend pattern. This Sunday however, Patrick mixed things up, much to David's chagrin.

Sunday Morning [david/patrick, E, 2,025] by @delilah-mcmuffin

Patrick needs to run to the store after a shower and just throws on a pair of sweats that leave little to the imagination. David is indignant. Because David has just said “I love you” to the owner of that dick and he’ll be damned if anyone else gets to enjoy looking at it. Set shortly after Singles Week.

2022

always and forever, twyla sands [alexis/twyla, NR, 4,896] by @lilythesilly

Twyla hasn’t spoken to Alexis Rose in years. Not since she kissed her during a game of spin the bottle in seventh grade, effectively ruining their friendship. Since then it’s been passive aggressive comments in the hallway over her blouses and disdainful glances in between classes. Well, except for now. Because right now, Alexis is standing in front of her, with a confused wide-eyed expression that reminds Twyla of her seventh grade crush on her former best friend. And in her hands is an envelope — A soft pink envelope covered in Hello Kitty stickers with Alexis’s name written on it in glitter gel pen. Oh god. Twyla’s gonna faint. -- Or To All the Boys I've Loved Before the Twylexis Remix

canned heat in my heels tonight [alexis/twyla, T, 4,127] by @sarahlevys

@Karen666: I've been watching #DWTS for decades. It has always been family-friendly entertainment. And just like the Biden Administration has ruined everything else, now they and the liberal media have ruined #DWTS!! @BootyfulBecca: @DancingABC @LilBitAlexis @TwirlingTwyla WHAT'S THE TEAM HASHTAG OMG?? @DancingABC: @BootyfulBecca #LilBitTwylexis is what you're looking for! The internet has a lot to say about Alexis Rose and Twyla Sands, the first same-sex dance couple on Dancing With The Stars.

deliver me a pizz-a-you [david/patrick, T, 4,183] by @filet-o-feelings

Patrick Brewer moves to Schitt's Creek and gets a job delivering pizza.

got a knack for burning bridges down [stevie/alexis, T, 3,794] by @nerdframed

Stevie Budd is a private investigator and reluctant superhero. Alexis Rose is her childhood best friend and newly powered. They have their issues, but find themselves working a case together. Inspired by Marvel's Jessica Jones series.

into your heart, i'll beat again [david/patrick, M, 1,695] by @thesleepyskipper

Patrick is inspired to add a song to their wedding reception playlist without David's approval. Patrick wants to tell David all about how it makes him feel.

Stab: The Elmsboro Murders [david/patrick, M, 7,487] by @dinnfameron

Someone in Elmsboro is terrorizing teens. Finally, the story that journalist David Rose can use to get his big break. If only deputy sheriff Patrick Brewer would answer his questions instead of blocking him at every turn and distracting him with those big, dumb, earnest eyes of his.

Stardust [david/patrick, NR, 3,140] by @demora00

Patrick had just about finished packing his desk; the movers were coming in a few days to bring the contents of the apartment to the cottage. He picked up the rogue books on the bottom shelf of his nightstand then went over to David’s side to do the same, adding the small stack of personal journals David had to his pile. As he turned to the box sitting on his desk, the top journal slipped, weathered spine opening on impact. Placing the remaining tomes in the box, he reached over to retrieve it when he recognized the poem on a taped piece of paper. His fingers grazed the page, heartstrings pulling.

you light me on fire [david/patrick, E, 3,447] by orphan_account

He might explode if he doesn’t touch himself immediately. He begins to move one hand down to his cock from where he’s gripping the headboard but before he makes any progress David says, “Patrick.” or: what happens when they return home after a failed threesome with jake

you never shined so brightly [david/patrick, T, 23,226] by @rosedavid

Large, broad hands with silver-ringed fingers stroke at the keys in a blur. Patrick’s eyes trace up the hunched over curve of his spine, clad in a black suit that blends in with the dark ambiance of the room. The man’s lips are parted slightly as he plays, full body leaning into each chord progression. Patrick’s heart crescendos in his chest at the same time as the melody. OR A La La Land AU in which Patrick is the aspiring actor and David is the struggling musician.

2023

Drabble with me [david/patrick, T, 2,000] by @lizzie-bennetdarcy

A series of unrelated 100 word drabbles, based on schittscreekdrabbleblog prompts. Updated weekly, tags will update as new chapters post.

Glittery Relief [david/patrick, T, 100] by @legalgal421

A birth announcement triggers a conversation.

TITSOAK, Patrick [david/patrick, G, 100] by @demora00

For all the ratties among us

Stats:

No fanworks for 2017, 2018, or 2024 2019: 3 fics/16,820 words 2020: 3 fics/40,829 words 2021: 24 fics/36,055 words 2022: 9 fics/55,995 words 2023: 3 fics/2,200 words Total: 42 fics/151,899 words

[rebornofstars]

hello!! just wondering whether anyone would be interested in a September-based art & writing event focussed on celebrating the female characters in the LU fandom?

i've been thinking about trying to organise something like this for a few months now, but i'm finally speaking up, because this morning i had an idea...

we could call it:

✨Sepfember✨

anyway, if you'd be interested in a september event, let me know!

[corpusdiem-seizethedead]

Husk: I’m straight.

Angel Dust: Hey✨

Husk: So it turns out I am not straight-

[mecha--maniac]

Giving the scrungles chao saga

Mephiles's? Sweet babyangel service chao; if they did races Meph would definitely be dancemom manipulative of the other chao handlers just to make them fight, with the chao being none the wiser.

Metal's starts off as a feral little shit that loves to bite; but biting is not very effective on Metal, so oops bro, looks like you have been government assigned a chao (Who eventually warms up to him with the correct combination of ignoring their shenanigans and manhandling them into being socialized. No, we are having a nice day at the beach, you may not go and bite small children)

The third one is for an unpictured different Metal. This one was a rescue and is very shy, but their mommy is very scary with a resting murder face which gives them some more confidence as they grow up. Anyone who messes with this chao would wind up mysteriously missing.

If these were in the game...

Meph's chao would operate like a chaos chao, except it needs higher stats in power and flight.

Metal chao 1 would be neutral/speed/flight with a disproportionate amount of kangaroos and/or bug animals givin to it.

Metal chao 2 would be dark/power/flying, raised primarily on drives and dragons.

[princessjadyn15]

I feel like this needs to be said

[unicrons-chaos]

In honour of Pride month, and being a genderless being, I wanted to discuss one of my favorite things in transformers.

When it comes to transformers, my favorite thing is the fact they technically have no true concept of gender and sexuality. All of that comes from organic planets that do. Such as with IDW and all the femmes being esentially trans by earth definition.

it shows that they're still problematic or crazy or all kinds of bad things since their whole thing is about war and fighting, but yet they're a species so accepting of things like love and what not(depending on media/fanfic).

And it's so funny to me, cause like you can have a ship of some silly gay old men and call them lesbians if you saw it fitting them. Cause like, with them, what even is a man?

[wurmzirkus]

writing pattern game

Rules: Share the first line of your last ten published works or as many as you are able and see if there are any patterns! (from most recent to least recent, starting from the top)

got tagged in this (ages ago ofc) by both @raylangivins and @tallahasseemp3. y'all flatter me so much considering how incredibly talented you are!! also y'all have no idea how much i love getting asked about my writing so thanks very much :3

1. crater:

It's cold outside, and already dark by the time Alana makes it home. The train was late, so she spent twenty minutes shivering at the station, looking at her phone every thirty seconds, watching the zero amount of messages and notifications pour in.

2. cypress save me:

Space is cold. 

He knew this before. He went through an awful lot of training every time they sent him up there, and he’s been on his fair share of spacewalks, too. He never got tired of it once, but it's impossible to forget how cold it was out there. 

Space is cold. Kepler’s hands have always been warm.

3. too little, too late:

Kepler is standing in the middle of the hangar bay, keeping his eyes to the floor. Riemann left a couple minutes ago, Young has better things to do, and Jacobi… 

Jacobi is right there. 

4. breathing in your dust (shoutout to NAMMI!!)(honestly, I'm pretty sure i didn't even write this line):

He hung up. The absolute bastard just dropped that on him, and hung up.

5. confetti:

Jacobi is in the middle of making dinner when it becomes too much.

He’s cutting carrots for his stupid fucking soup. It’s hot next to the stove, so there’s a bit of sweat glistening on his forehead, and he doesn’t turn around when he says, “Will you just leave me alone.”

Kepler doesn’t leave.

6. hang on past the last exit:

“Those are going to kill you.”

It’s cold in the room. The window has been open for the last twenty minutes, and Kepler is on his second cigarette. 

7. whumptober prompts:

Kepler looks pathetic. His suit is crumpled and soaked, his hair is sticking to his face and the ends of his once-white sleeves are red with blood. 

He looks at Maxwell without speaking. Determined to commit this look to memory and never forget, Maxwell looks back. 

8. did you think it would be like this:

Maxwell doesn’t notice Kepler in the door for fifteen minutes. She doesn’t see why he doesn’t announce his presence right away - if he wants something, what’s stopping him from walking over to her desk and asking for it? - but she figures he has a point to make. 

A point Maxwell will ignore, because she doesn’t need it right now. 

9. wasteland, baby:

He finds her on the bridge.

10: a mirage in sickness and health:

For as long as she can think back, Maxwell has always spent her time convincing people. 

She could make them think all kinds of things, but the only thing she ever really cared about was getting them to realise she was worth it. 

That she shouldn’t be brushed aside, that she had too much to say to wait her turn to speak. 

tagging @imperial-evolution, @agentmika, @dansnotavampire, @haunthouse, aaaaaand @bananawanis

[unvendaval]

like for memes ♡ bonus points if you suggest who i'm meme - ing for

[heart-on-her-sleeve]

this is a STARTER CALL ! by liking this post, i will write a starter and tag you so we can all start some fresh threads. please specify which muse of mine you'd like.

if you'd like to plot something specific, feel free to drop into my ims ~

&& if you're a multi-muse, please specify which muse(s) you'd like a starter for!

[cannotflyarc]

tags; general

*❈ ‣ nothing there sings not even my lark. larks never will‚ you know‚ when they’re captive.  — ( study. )   

*❈ ‣ i am hungry for touch and ashamed to be looked at— ( wishlist. )  

*❈ ‣ in the wood even songbirds must be survivors — ( headcanon. )  

*❈ ‣ i’m a silly little ninnynoodle — ( ooc. )  

*❈ ‣ how can you jubilate sitting in cages‚ never taking wing? — ( aesthetic. )  

*❈ ‣ outside the sky waits‚ beckoning‚ beckoning‚ just beyond the bars — ( queue. )  

*❈ ‣ have you decided it’s safer in cages‚ singing when you’re told? — ( interaction. )  

*❈ ‣ when she is alone in her room‚ i hear her humming to keep herself from thinking — ( starter call. )  

*❈ ‣ and i stare like a haunted‚ wounded animal — ( psa. ) 

*❈ ‣ you have become a woman‚ my dear. by necessity‚ not by choice. — ( edit. )  

*❈ ‣ did you get enough love‚ my little dove? why do you cry? — ( self promotion. )  

*❈ ‣ i feared you’d never come‚ that you’d been called away — ( promotion. )  

*❈ ‣ teach me how to sing. if i cannot fly‚ let me sing — ( meme. )  

*❈ ‣ and are you beautiful and pale with yellow hair like her? — ( visage. )  

*❈ ‣ whence comes this melody constantly flowing? — ( meta. )  

[ircnwrought]

it’s day two of book counting 👀 i plan to be here later tonight to do a few things but in the meantime like this for spicy or kissy memes in your inbox heheh

[floriballad]

tag drop

[angelatelier]

tag drop <3