#▲「 its not a mullet. 」 visage
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poryteecom · 1 year ago
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Penguins Have You Seen Me Missing Milk Jaromír Jágr T-Shirt
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The t-shirt itself is a vibrant tribute to Jágr’s illustrious career, capturing the essence of his time with the Pittsburgh Penguins in the NHL. His unmistakable visage graces the fabric, his trademark mullet flowing behind him as he charges forward with the determination and finesse that made him a household name in the hockey world. Beneath his image, the enigmatic phrase “Penguins Have You Seen Me Missing Milk” is emblazoned in bold letters, leaving viewers intrigued and puzzled all at once.
What makes this t-shirt truly unique is the mystery behind its message. Is it a playful nod to Jágr’s time spent with the Penguins, a reference to a lost bet, or perhaps a whimsical inside joke among hockey aficionados? The answer remains elusive, adding to the allure of this quirky piece of apparel.
As visitors step into the shop, they’re greeted by the whimsical ambiance that permeates the air. The scent of aged wood mixes with the faint aroma of freshly brewed coffee, inviting patrons to explore the treasure trove of eclectic items that line the shelves. Among them, the Jágr t-shirt holds a special place, its presence sparking conversations and eliciting smiles from those who chance upon it.
Whether you’re a die-hard hockey fan, a collector of unique memorabilia, or simply someone drawn to the whimsical and offbeat, the Penguins Have You Seen Me Missing Milk Jaromír Jágr t-shirt offers a delightful glimpse into the intersection of sports, humor, and nostalgia. And as visitors leave the shop, they carry with them not just a piece of fabric, but a story waiting to be shared and cherished—a testament to the enduring magic of sports and the joy found in the unexpected.
Penguins Have You Seen Me Missing Milk Jaromír Jágr T-Shirt, Sweatshirt, Hoodie, Long Sleeve T-Shirt, Sweatshirt, Ladies T-Shirt. Includes many different colors and sizes you can choose from. The product is made of user-friendly and safe materials. Shipped directly from the USA. If there’s any issue, please feel free to contact us, we will help you at our best!
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konata-izumi-kinny-writes · 3 years ago
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Alien!Nico× Human!Reader (Sfw)
Bc i feel like it
This takes place AFTER you've been abducted. Bc idk how to write the experience or process of said abduction.
Context: Nico is an escaped prisoner of the prison ship NanbaMaru. He escaped to earth with his friends and fell in love with you, and gained your trust with a human disguise. He's going back to NanbaMaru and he wants to take you with him as his lover.
💫🔹️💫🔹️💫🔹️💫🔹️💜👾🔹️💫🔹️💫🔹️💫🔹️💫
You lay on the ground and look around to the unfamiliar room around you with a tired haze in your mind.. how did you get here? You were going to drift to sleep thinking it was a weird dream, but you were woken up by Nico's casual cheery voice.
"Hello, my cute little Chibi-Chan! You ok? I didn't think the teleportation had a sedative effect on humans."
You look at where you're laying, wait, this isn't the floor, its Nico's lap! You look up at him in confusion and see... he's... different. He looks mostly the same but he has two sets of antennae, one pair is a vibrant green like his hair, the other is the same color as his skin with eyes attached to the ends! He also has two pairs of floppy ears. He smiles lovingly at you and his teeth are different too, what used to be normal human teeth, is now a set of razor sharp teeth!
You roll off his lap and use your arms to prop yourself up, your legs for some reason won't let you stand up.
"Hey, what's wrong, darling, are you okay?"
"Nico?... is that you?"
"Yeah! I should've told you earlier that i was an alien, but seems Hajime-Chan captured us before I could even say it.. I'm sorry... But hey you still love me right? Now that you're here with me, we can live happily ever after! I love you!!"
You had to take a few minutes to process what you just heard, he's an alien? HE LOVED YOU??? AND WHO THE FLIP IS HAJIME????!
You were snapped out of your thoughts by Nico's warm hand on your shoulder. He had a worried expression on his face.
"Sweetie? Are you okay?"
You couldn't say anything. You loved him too, even if he's an alien, but with the current situation, you just couldn't find the right words to say. Not knowing what else to do you silently give him a hug. The hug lasted for at least a minute.. until you heard other voices, voices you've never heard before.
"I can't tell if It's happy about this or what."
"Jyugo, They're not an object. We gotta treat the cute little thing with respect. 😌"
"I wonder if they'll like my cooking :D"
You look up from Nico's shoulder to see three other aliens. One has black hair with red tips, four horns, three eyes, and what seems to be a pair of bat ears. Another has long blond and pink hair in a braid with a pair of jestears, four arms, and a long ruffled transparent tail glowing pink and yellow, similar to that of a jellyfish. The third one had purple and red hair in some kind of mullet/mohawk/undercut??? (Idk heck off) He had ears similar to Nico, two sets of horns, long claws on his hands and feet, and feathers along his arms and legs as well as a tail that separated into four claws that resembled a makeshift hand.
You let go of Nico and introduce yourself, you find out their names are Uno, Rock, and Jyugo. They then escaped the cell, courtesy of Jyugo picking the lock, in order to give you and Nico some privacy.
"So... are you okay?"
"Yeah.. i just don't know how to process this. I'm glad i'm here with you, and I love you too. But at the same time i have so many questions.."
"Eh? What kind of questions? I'll be happy to answer!"
You go ahead and ask the one thats been on your mind the most, your location.
"Well... where are we? I know we're in your cell, but where is this? Am I on some kind of spaceship??
"Yeah! Look outside, arent the stars pretty? Almost as beautiful as you, i'd say. ^^"
You weren't expecting to be right. But sure enough you were. You looked outside to see Earth, the moon, and millions of stars that freckled the universe's visage. You almost fainted right then and there.
"Sweetie pie? Are you alright? You look scared.."
"Nico... I don't know what to say.. I don't know how to handle this. Its new and its scary, i'm nowhere near home, nowhere near anything I know.."
"Darling.... do you want some time to think? I have some blankets and pillows if you need help relaxing."
"That sounds like a good idea.."
So Nico pulled out a Full sized mattress with the softest sheets and blankets you've ever felt. He settled you in and gave you a kiss on the forehead, then settled in next to you. You stared off into the wall, your thoughts on the situation filling your mind. What should I do... I don't want to lose Nico.. This can't be much worse than earth right?.. at least i don't have to pay taxes or medical bills...
After over half an hour of thought you made up your mind. Maybe staying here with Nico won't be so bad..
"Nico?"
"Hm? What is it Puppy?"
"I... wanna stay here and live with you."
"YOU DO?! YAAY!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!"
Before you could say you loved him too, you felt his soft warm lips on yours and his arms around you. You couldn't help but kiss him back. You could feel your face heating up as he squeezed you tighter. After a while you broke the kiss, you hug him and almost fall asleep before you hear Uno, Rock, and Jyugo being thrown back in the cell and the door violently slamming behind them. You look behind the barred window in the door and see an alien with Green, Blue, Violet, and Red ringed eyes, the only other detail you can spot is its grey skin. You can't make out much in the dark halls as he passes by the cell bars next to the door, but you can make out that he's large.... VERY large. He seems to have spikes running down his back and onto his tail.. four of said spikes glowing the same colors as his eyes. He then disappears into the hallways if the prison, devoid of light.
"...was that the Hajime guy you talked about, Nico?"
"Yep thats him. I'm lowkey surprised he hasn't slaughtered us yet.. the Kraizen just havent been the same since the 180."
You wanted to ask for more context, you wanted more information, more knowledge, but something in your stomach said not to. You didn't know what it was, but Hajime gave you very, VERY frightening, twisted, messed up vibes.
"So Nico, what did they say? Are they staying with us?"
"Yep!"
"Noice. -u-"
"Welp, not the first bet I've lost to Uno."
"Won't be the last either!"
With that, Nico pulls you away again. He leads you back to the den of pillows and blankets from earlier. He lays on his side and out stretches his arm as a signal for you to join him, so you do. As you lay on your back, Nico rolls over onto you and squeezes you close, letting out a cute little groan of effort. After a while of snuggles and covering eachother in kisses, you start to get sleepy. A yawn from Nico and the pressure of his head on your chest tells you that he feels the same.
"You sleepy too?.."
"Yeah... today was.. something. To say the least."
Nico laughs a bit, before he can say something though, he looks up to see your unconscious frame. With a smile he tucks the both of you in and wraps his limbs and tail around you.
"Goodnight, Sweetie..."
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️🌙⭐☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Aight hope yall enjoyed.
Unfortunately requests are still closed. This will be a time for me to work on unfinished drafts and unanswered asks.
(However i'm too lazy to actually come back and edit this when the requests DO open back up, so just check my profile pls)
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Heres Nico, have a noice day. 💚
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artificialqueens · 4 years ago
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Love is a Dog From Hell, 1/5 (Rosnali) - Mattels
is it really that complicated that denali wants to be the best? all signs from the figure-skating gods seem to point to yes. (especially with her decidedly adult and mature hatred of coach rosé, who keeps wearing those god awful skin-tight ski-pants.)
aka denali’s a figure skating coach, rosé’s a ski coach; the rest is history
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29861322/chapters/73479360
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November is sacred to Denali.
Although she’s a full-time figure-skating coach year round, boasting a full clientele of Olympic level students alongside a waiting list that seems to be growing by the year, November always manages to remind her why she started teaching to begin with.
Bonneville Academy, despite Denali considering its title of ‘academy’ being a stretch, has managed to wedge itself into her life, year after year. She spends six months of her year in Chicago, teaching private lessons to overenthusiastic and grossly rich teenagers, but from November through to April, she spends in Utah, working with the students to tighten their quadruple lutzes and receiving a paycheck that leaves her feeling pretty comfortable until the next November.
Although the school is technically a legitimate boarding school, offering fairly okay-quality education alongside the best training in the country all year, a lot of the students only attend for the ski season, unable or unwilling to fund a whole year.
Or maybe, Denali considers with a smile, nobody wants to live in the middle of nowhere, locked away in the mountains like a fucking yeti.
Michelle Visage, school director, emails Denali every year about working for them full-time, but every year Denali finds herself unable to leave Chicago behind. She loves her cozy city life, thank you very much. Living alone in her uptown apartment has yet to be beaten, even with the promise of the best skating facilities money can buy.
Half of the kids who attend don’t even realise how lucky they are, she finds herself thinking as her rental car starts the ascent to the school. It’s a long drive, the journey from Salt Lake to Bonneville is deliberately out of most peoples’ way, ensuring the cleanest snow and freshest powder for its plethora of skiers and snowboarders. She’d definitely have killed for something like this when she was still training.
The school is specialised, known for its premium winter sports programme raved about by former Olympians and their coaches. Everything is fully equipped, facilities and machines inside the camp always sparkling new and top of the line; huge dance studios with scary Russian ballet teachers to help her skaters achieve their best on the ice; big gyms and personal trainers; meals specially catered and designed to build muscle and strengthen bones.
It’s also really fucking expensive; Denali sees the checks on Michelle’s desk with their seemingly endless zeroes, given by mothers determined to boast that their little Sally went to Bonneville! But the elusive RuPaul, who Denali knows funds the school, but has never seen or heard much about, hands out plenty of scholarships to kids she deems talented and hard-working enough to thrive.
Denali’s car turns the corner, giving her a view of Bonneville’s ski slopes. She spots a couple of instructors already at the top of the chairlifts, riding down the mountain in neat lines as they enjoy the start of what’s looking to be a beautiful season. It’s still early, but it’s snowing heavily, Denali’s windscreen wipers working hard to keep the snowflakes off her windscreen.
As Denali pulls up to their entrance, she spots a couple of other employees hanging around outside, boisterous laughter coming from their conversations. They’re all old-timers, Denali is sure one or two of them have worked at the school since its opening in the late nineties.
She immediately spots the inky black mullet that belongs to Mik, one of the snowboarding coaches for the younger kids. She’s standing alone, narrow back pressed up against a red bricked wall as she smokes a cigarette, flicking ash off of the end into the thin layer of snow below her feet.
She gets out of her car, passing her keys over to the valet Michelle hires unnecessarily every year, always insisting, rather pointedly if you ask Denali, who seems to consistently be at the receiving end of the seemingly never-ending gripe, that she knows that someone’ll fuck up her parking arrangement, Denali.
It’s a fair point– Denali would never be bothered to follow Michelle’s colour-coordinated and meticulously planned spreadsheet, in which she’s grouped all the instructors of the same sport together in the carpark, as if it matters to anyone which spot they have.
The valet takes her bags too, which she’s perpetually grateful for; her suitcases are almost always overweight in the airport, despite taking three of her big ones with her. They’ll take them down to her room for her too, as if she’s staying in a nice hotel, not just a ridiculously boujee school.
Mik spots her, dropping the cigarette she was smoking and stubbing it against her chunky boots, jogging over to catch Denali in a tight hug. “Hey slut!”
Denali laughs, embracing her. “Nice to see you too, Mickey.”
Mik shrugs, letting her go with a smile. “You know you missed me, don’t even try it.” Denali rolls her eyes but can’t deny it, grinning when Mik wraps an arm around her shoulders.
“Denali Foxx!” Michelle greets her loudly, ticking her name off on a clipboard. “Usual room,” she says, fishing a key out of her pocket and passing it to Denali.
“Roomies!” Mik says, laughing with an eye-roll when Denali pretends to shover her fingers down her throat complete with exaggerated gagging sounds.
Denali’s always grateful to room with Mik, the rooms are a slightly awkward size– too big to stay in alone, a little too small for two people. Mik works at the school year round, and Denali knows she’s equally grateful to have someone to share with, forever complaining about how empty it feels when she’s by herself with two beds.
“Almost everyone else is already on the slopes,” Michelle notes, turning around so she can point out people on the mountain behind them. “You’ve got a couple days until the kids are allowed out, so better make the most of it.”
The school is laid out like a small village, boys on one side and girls on another, divided in almost everything except meals, which they have in the dining hall all together. The dorms are split into age, six buildings facing parallel to one another in a large U-shape, each with attached communal bathrooms and showers for the students. The buildings are all deliberately short so you can gape at Utah’s mountains practically anywhere on campus.
“I’ve been waiting for you to go out,” Mik says, grabbing Denali’s hand between her cold fingers, trying to drag her down the asphalt leading to the sports instructors’ rooming in the centre of the U.
The academics take place a couple miles down the road in a big building that actually looks like a school, which Michelle swears helps the students to stay focused, but Denali can’t say she’s totally convinced. She’s seen them get off the bus after school, racing one another to be the first in the chairlift queue.
“I really don’t want to go.” Denali whines, but lets Mik tug her down the path regardless. She’s not the best snowboarder even on her best days, and Mik always wants to take her down the especially mogul-ly runs, zipping in between trees and dodging ice patches that are still missing snow.
“Yes you do!” She says, practically skipping down the road. “There’s only a couple of us here anyways, and the kids aren’t allowed to carve up the snow yet– it’ll be fun!”
Denali rolls her eyes, with a sigh. “I’m only doing green runs!”
“Only red runs? Perfect!”
“No, fuck, come on Mik,” she huffs, her breath coming out in sharp puffs in the cold air. “I’m out of practice, this isn’t fair.”
Mik looks at her, shrugging her narrow shoulders, “how’s that my issue, gorge?”
She groans loudly as they approach the staff building, letting Mik lead the way to their room, unlocking the door with her own key.
Mik keeps their room uncharacteristically clean, especially in comparison to her wardrobe filled with clothes piled up on the bottom rather than on their hangers. Denali is pleased to see her blue suitcases on the side of the room Mik’s left for her, both her skating and snowboard boot bags by the end of her bed.
Mik talks aimlessly about the year so far as Denali changes out of her oversized shirt and equally oversized jeans combo. She rifles through her suitcases, half listening to the other girl, searching for her snow-pants and a hoodie, adhering to Mik’s advice to forgo her ski-jacket as it’s still early in the season and sunny enough, despite the snowfall.
She makes her help her lace up her boots properly, watching Mik’s skilled hands tightening them in record time. “Are you borrowing a board?” She asks.
“Mm,” Denali confirms, “are they ready?”
“You can literally borrow mine,” Mik squints up at her from her kneeling position, “we’re like, basically the same height.”
Denali scoffs at this, arching one of her dark eyebrows. “No fucking way am I borrowing one of yours, they’re all deathtraps.”
“They’re literally normal boards.”
“No, they’re all weirdly thin and flexible, I’ll literally break my neck.”
Mik frowns, “ok, first of all, rude. Second of all, I’ll have you know my boards are perfectly safe–”
“–did you or did you not snap one in half last year?”
“That was one time!”
“And that’s one time too many, doll.” Denali says, leaning down to tuck the laces into the tongue of her boot, pulling down her pants so they rest over the top. She reaches out a palm, helping Mik up from her kneeling position. “Get ready and I’ll meet you by the chairlift, okay?”
Mik rolls her eyes, reaching into Denali’s suitcase to attach her goggles to her helmet, passing it over with her gloves tucked neatly inside, as she would with her ten year-olds. Denali yells a thanks over her shoulder as she leaves, weaving her way out of their building to run down to their small ski shop.
☆☆☆☆☆
Humiliatingly enough, Mik makes Denali carry her snowboard with her on the chairlift, refusing to let her sit with one foot strapped in like a normal person would.
“You’re gonna knock your teeth out,” she laughs when Denali complains loudly about it. “Like fully splat, bitch.”
“I know how to ride a chairlift, thank you very much.” Denali grumbles, clutching her board tightly in her arms and sitting down. Mik reaches behind them, pulling down the safety bar, which Denali rests her feet on.
“Can’t have any casualties on day one, gorge.”
“The only casualty will be from me wringing your skinny little neck out when you push me down the mountain, you fucking bitch.” She groans, looking at the run below them.
There’s a pack of skiers weaving their way down tightly together under the poles of the lift. She can already see the deep valleys of moguls, even with her terrible eyesight. One of them looks up at their chair, waving at them with a grin.
Denali squints and she can see it’s Tayce, one of the newer instructors at the school. They had made fast friends last year, gossiping together about who hooked up with who over Thanksgiving– no, no, no, it’s clearly Brooklyn and Vanessa, they keep eyeing each other up–, which of their kids were likely to actually make the Olympic team– all of mine, thank you very much, Taycey–, who they might fuck given the chance– have you not seen A’Whora in the physio suite? I’d let her curb-stomp my neck– et cetera, et cetera.
“Everyone else is coming up tonight and tomorrow,” Mik remarks, waving over-exaggeratedly waving down to Tayce like she’s in a pantomime. “Tayce is like the only bitch I can stand here, as of currently”
“ As of currently? I’m here, as of currently! ”
“My point still stands, gorge.”
“After this run can you join up with them?” Denali groans, “Tayce’ll go super-speed with you. And she’ll let you harass her without breaking your nose.”
Mik laughs, “I don’t go that fast, bitch.”
“Have you ever seen that Disney movie Bolt ? Y’know the one with that dog who runs like, full speed of light? They could do a live-action version with you as the dog.”
“Woof!”
Denali’s face cracks into a grin as she rolls her eyes, “I’m serious! One minute you’re next to me, the next you’re–” she slides her gloved hands together in a forward motion “–zip . And then I’m the idiot who can’t get down.
“I’d never leave you!” Mik gasps, clapping a palm to her chest. “How dare you, fucking bitch.”
Denali scoffs loudly in response. Every year Mik tries to bully her into doing a couple runs together, and every year without fail Denali obliges, only to find herself stuck at the top of a mountain, Mik nowhere in sight.
“Head,” Mik announces, reminding Denali to duck her head so Mik can raise the safety bar, as they start to approach the end of the lift. Mik lines herself up to the drop-off, riding around the corner smoothly, giggling as Denali has to jog to keep up.
They both sit down to strap in, Mik tightening Denali’s bindings for her and pulling her up with a roll of her eyes.
“See you at the bottom?” Mik asks. Before Denali can answer, she’s slipped off, whooping as she hits a bump and flies upwards, grabbing the nose of her board as she hits the jump.
“So much for never leaving me, I guess,” Denali grumbles, carefully edging herself down the slopes with big sweeping S-shaped turns, she knows Mik will laugh at her about later, reminding her how her ten year-olds could easily out-board her.
Uh yeah, I’d fucking hope so, Denali thinks to herself, curving around onto the toe-edge of her board. Otherwise this’d be the biggest waste of money like, uh, ever.
The air that whips around her is cool, blowing snowflakes into her dark hair, but she doesn’t feel cold, happy in her thick sweatshirt and pants. Her feet are desperate to be unlatched from the board, feeling slightly unnatural to be locked in. She’s much more in her element spraying ice as she nails a complicated spin, she knows Mik would eat ass on.
Yeah, she thinks, fuck you and your ten year-olds, Mickey.
☆☆☆☆☆
“Michelle’s put the board up,” Tayce says in the late afternoon, sticking her head around Denali and Mik’s door propped open by a snowboard boot.
Denali looks up from the book she’s reading, comfortably curled up on her bed with her mandatory evening uniform of thick fluffy socks and sweats on. Mik, on the other hand, is still in her lycra leggings and hoodie, having made no effort to change since coming back, much to Denali’s disgust.
“Well?” Tayce asks in annoyance, cocking her hip, “you coming or what?”
Mik groans, rolling off of her bed and moving to stand next to Tayce in their doorway, bare feet on the cold linoleum. Denali carefully places her bookmark in her book, grabbing a pair of Nike slides– sponsored, thank you very much– and begrudgingly walking down the corridor to their big common room.
The Board– with an optional trademarked symbol from Mik– as it’s been aptly dubbed, is a large whiteboard divided neatly (by the increasingly anal Michelle) into a leaderboard. The top ten coaches are listed top to bottom, ordering the number of world title holders they’ve coached at Bonneville, bonus points being allotted to those whose kids win gold, and double points if the title being held was Olympian.
Michelle says it builds healthy competition. Denali says it builds a desire to Tonya Harding every other bitch in this place. Tomayto, tomahto.
Denali hadn’t even been on The Board, until she had returned three seasons ago with the last World Skating Championships under her belt, managing to land three podium spots. She proudly boasted for months to anyone that looked like they might listen that her girls had swept the categories, winning medals across the ladies’ single event, ice dance and pair skating.
Despite her allure of confidence, she knows she only made it up there because Michelle insists on starting fresh each year. She tries to tell them that she’s giving the new coaches a chance, but everyone knows it’s to keep egos in check.
Egos like mother-fucking Rosé McCorkell’s, who’s placed first on The Board two years running.
First as in one spot ahead of Denali’s second, first. First as in gloating in Denali’s face every opportunity she gets (and rest be assured, every opportunity means every opportunity ), first. First as in deliberately sabotaging Denali’s skaters, first– well, at least in Denali’s eyes.
Okay, whatever, yes it could have been a coincidence that one of her front runners’ sole came unglued from the attached blade on the morning of Nationals a year ago. And yeah, sure, maybe Rosé was like, several states away from the incident. And okay, yes, she still came in first after the whole thing, so it’s not it even really mattered after all. But Denali just knows Rosé had something to do with it, that bitch.
“Who’s on top of the pyramid this year?” Mik sing-songs when they approach The Board. Denali instinctively works her way through their photos from the bottom to the top, clapping Tayce lightly on the back when she sees her smack-dab in the centre.
She isn’t nervous; she knows she did well this year, the girls she had coached in the previous season competing in nationally-recognised competitions, pictures of them grinning up on their podiums, flowers in sequinned arms, emailed to her and the school. And it’s not even like it matters.
Her photo stands in line with another, both placed side-by-side at the top of the leaderboard. She can hear Mik mumble an oh shit, with a laugh as she realises that Denali is tied with Rosé at the top.
Okay, so maybe it matters a little bit.
Rosé’s photo looks down at her. She’s wearing her obnoxious signature pink ski jacket, her name embroidered into it in a sparkly silver thread. Her equally obnoxiouly signature curly pink hair has been tied up in a messy ponytail, and she stares at Denali with a big fucking grin on her face.
Denali wants to rip down the laminated photo, putting it into a paper shredder and watch as Rosé’s dumb face gets torn into ribbons.
“Healthy competition huh?” Tayce remarks, wrapping a long arm around Denali’s shoulders. “The cheek, the nerve, the audacity and the gumption, mama.”
“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” A voice groans, Denali turns around and is met by the woman of the hour. Rosé looks her up and down, irritation flickering in her green eyes. “Stepping your shit up, this season ice princess?”
Denali arches an eyebrow in response. “Evidently, McCorkell.”
Rosé smiles at her, all pearly white teeth Denali is pretty sure are veneers– well, at least that’s the rumour she and Tayce started last year as a laugh.
All of a sudden, she feels like a shark’s prey, a minnow trapped inside the great white’s tank. Rosé doesn’t have to say anything for Denali to know that she’s going to be in for a tough season.
Better get that hammer ready, she thinks to herself, I am not the Nancy Kerrigan of this competition, bitch.
tags: rosé, denali foxx, gottmik, rosnali, rivals to lovers, coach au, figure skating au, skiing au, lesbian au, love is a dog from hell, mattels
show my blog ! <3
November is sacred to Denali.
Although she’s a full-time figure-skating coach year round, boasting a full clientele of Olympic level students alongside a waiting list that seems to be growing by the year, November always manages to remind her why she started teaching to begin with.
Bonneville Academy, despite Denali considering its title of ‘academy’ being a stretch, has managed to wedge itself into her life, year after year. She spends six months of her year in Chicago, teaching private lessons to overenthusiastic and grossly rich teenagers, but from November through to April, she spends in Utah, working with the students to tighten their quadruple lutzes and receiving a paycheck that leaves her feeling pretty comfortable until the next November.
Although the school is technically a legitimate boarding school, offering fairly okay-quality education alongside the best training in the country all year, a lot of the students only attend for the ski season, unable or unwilling to fund a whole year.
Or maybe, Denali considers with a smile, nobody wants to live in the middle of nowhere, locked away in the mountains like a fucking yeti.
Michelle Visage, school director, emails Denali every year about working for them full-time, but every year Denali finds herself unable to leave Chicago behind. She loves her cozy city life, thank you very much. Living alone in her uptown apartment has yet to be beaten, even with the promise of the best skating facilities money can buy.
Half of the kids who attend don’t even realise how lucky they are, she finds herself thinking as her rental car starts the ascent to the school. It’s a long drive, the journey from Salt Lake to Bonneville is deliberately out of most peoples’ way, ensuring the cleanest snow and freshest powder for its plethora of skiers and snowboarders. She’d definitely have killed for something like this when she was still training.
The school is specialised, known for its premium winter sports programme raved about by former Olympians and their coaches. Everything is fully equipped, facilities and machines inside the camp always sparkling new and top of the line; huge dance studios with scary Russian ballet teachers to help her skaters achieve their best on the ice; big gyms and personal trainers; meals specially catered and designed to build muscle and strengthen bones.
It’s also really fucking expensive; Denali sees the checks on Michelle’s desk with their seemingly endless zeroes, given by mothers determined to boast that their little Sally went to Bonneville! But the elusive RuPaul, who Denali knows funds the school, but has never seen or heard much about, hands out plenty of scholarships to kids she deems talented and hard-working enough to thrive.
Denali’s car turns the corner, giving her a view of Bonneville’s ski slopes. She spots a couple of instructors already at the top of the chairlifts, riding down the mountain in neat lines as they enjoy the start of what’s looking to be a beautiful season. It’s still early, but it’s snowing heavily, Denali’s windscreen wipers working hard to keep the snowflakes off her windscreen.
As Denali pulls up to their entrance, she spots a couple of other employees hanging around outside, boisterous laughter coming from their conversations. They’re all old-timers, Denali is sure one or two of them have worked at the school since its opening in the late nineties.
She immediately spots the inky black mullet that belongs to Mik, one of the snowboarding coaches for the younger kids. She’s standing alone, narrow back pressed up against a red bricked wall as she smokes a cigarette, flicking ash off of the end into the thin layer of snow below her feet.
She gets out of her car, passing her keys over to the valet Michelle hires unnecessarily every year, always insisting, rather pointedly if you ask Denali, who seems to consistently be at the receiving end of the seemingly never-ending gripe, that she knows that someone’ll fuck up her parking arrangement, Denali.
It’s a fair point– Denali would never be bothered to follow Michelle’s colour-coordinated and meticulously planned spreadsheet, in which she’s grouped all the instructors of the same sport together in the carpark, as if it matters to anyone which spot they have.
The valet takes her bags too, which she’s perpetually grateful for; her suitcases are almost always overweight in the airport, despite taking three of her big ones with her. They’ll take them down to her room for her too, as if she’s staying in a nice hotel, not just a ridiculously boujee school.
Mik spots her, dropping the cigarette she was smoking and stubbing it against her chunky boots, jogging over to catch Denali in a tight hug. “Hey slut!”
Denali laughs, embracing her. “Nice to see you too, Mickey.”
Mik shrugs, letting her go with a smile. “You know you missed me, don’t even try it.” Denali rolls her eyes but can’t deny it, grinning when Mik wraps an arm around her shoulders.
“Denali Foxx!” Michelle greets her loudly, ticking her name off on a clipboard. “Usual room,” she says, fishing a key out of her pocket and passing it to Denali.
“Roomies!” Mik says, laughing with an eye-roll when Denali pretends to shover her fingers down her throat complete with exaggerated gagging sounds.
Denali’s always grateful to room with Mik, the rooms are a slightly awkward size– too big to stay in alone, a little too small for two people. Mik works at the school year round, and Denali knows she’s equally grateful to have someone to share with, forever complaining about how empty it feels when she’s by herself with two beds.
“Almost everyone else is already on the slopes,” Michelle notes, turning around so she can point out people on the mountain behind them. “You’ve got a couple days until the kids are allowed out, so better make the most of it.”
The school is laid out like a small village, boys on one side and girls on another, divided in almost everything except meals, which they have in the dining hall all together. The dorms are split into age, six buildings facing parallel to one another in a large U-shape, each with attached communal bathrooms and showers for the students. The buildings are all deliberately short so you can gape at Utah’s mountains practically anywhere on campus.
“I’ve been waiting for you to go out,” Mik says, grabbing Denali’s hand between her cold fingers, trying to drag her down the asphalt leading to the sports instructors’ rooming in the centre of the U.
The academics take place a couple miles down the road in a big building that actually looks like a school, which Michelle swears helps the students to stay focused, but Denali can’t say she’s totally convinced. She’s seen them get off the bus after school, racing one another to be the first in the chairlift que.
“I really don’t want to go.” Denali whines, but lets Mik tug her down the path regardless. She’s not the best snowboarder even on her best days, and Mik always wants to take her down the especially mogul-ly runs, zipping in between trees and dodging ice patches that are still missing snow.
“Yes you do!” She says, practically skipping down the road. “There’s only a couple of us here anyways, and the kids aren’t allowed to carve up the snow yet– it’ll be fun!”
Denali rolls her eyes, with a sigh. “I’m only doing green runs!”
“Only red runs? Perfect!”
“No, fuck, come on Mik,” she huffs, her breath coming out in sharp puffs in the cold air. “I’m out of practice, this isn’t fair.”
Mik looks at her, shrugging her narrow shoulders, “how’s that my issue, gorge?”
She groans loudly as they approach the staff building, letting Mik lead the way to their room, unlocking the door with her own key.
Mik keeps their room uncharacteristically clean, especially in comparison to her wardrobe filled with clothes piled up on the bottom rather than on their hangers. Denali is pleased to see her blue suitcases on the side of the room Mik’s left for her, both her skating and snowboard boot bags by the end of her bed.
Mik talks aimlessly about the year so far as Denali changes out of her oversized shirt and equally oversized jeans combo. She rifles through her suitcases, half listening to the other girl, searching for her snow-pants and a hoodie, adhering to Mik’s advice to forgo her ski-jacket as it’s still early in the season and sunny enough, despite the snowfall.
She makes her help her lace up her boots properly, watching Mik’s skilled hands tightening them in record time. “Are you borrowing a board?” She asks.
“Mm,” Denali confirms, “are they ready?”
“You can literally borrow mine,” Mik squints up at her from her kneeling position, “we’re like, basically the same height.”
Denali scoffs at this, arching one of her dark eyebrows. “No fucking way am I borrowing one of yours, they’re all deathtraps.”
“They’re literally normal boards.”
“No, they’re all weirdly thin and flexible, I’ll literally break my neck.”
Mik frowns, “ok, first of all, rude. Second of all, I’ll have you know my boards are perfectly safe–”
“–didn’t you snap one in half last year?”
“That was one time!”
“And that’s one time too many, doll.” Denali says, leaning down to tuck the laces into the tongue of her boot, pulling down her pants so they rest over the top. She reaches out a palm, helping Mik up from her kneeling position. “Get ready and I’ll meet you by the chairlift, okay?”
Mik rolls her eyes, reaching into Denali’s suitcase to attach her goggles to her helmet, passing it over with her gloves tucked neatly inside, as she would with her ten year-olds. Denali yells a thanks over her shoulder as she leaves, weaving her way out of their building to run down to their small ski shop.
☆☆☆☆☆
Humiliatingly enough, Mik makes Denali carry her snowboard with her on the chairlift, refusing to let her sit with one foot strapped in like a normal person would.
“You’re gonna knock your teeth out,” she laughs when Denali complains loudly about it. “Like fully, splat, bitch.”
“I know how to ride a chairlift, thank you very much.” Denali grumbles, clutching her board tightly in her arms and sitting down. Mik reaches behind them, pulling down the safety bar, which Denali rests her feet on.
“Can’t have any casualties on day one, gorge.”
“The only casualty will be from me wringing your skinny little neck out when you push me down the mountain, you fucking bitch.” She groans, looking at the run below them.
There’s a pack of skiers weaving their way down tightly together under the poles of the lift. She can already see the deep valleys of moguls, even with her terrible eyesight. One of them looks up at their chair, waving at them with a grin.
Denali squints and she can see it’s Tayce, one of the newer instructors at the school. They had made fast friends last year, gossiping together about who hooked up with who over Thanksgiving– no, no, no, it’s clearly Brooklyn and Vanessa, they keep eyeing each other up–, which of their kids were likely to actually make the Olympic team– all of mine, thank you very much, Taycey–, who they might fuck given the chance– have you not seen A’Whora in the physio suite? I’d let her curb-stomp my neck– et cetera, et cetera.
“Everyone else is coming up tonight and tomorrow,” Mik remarks, waving over-exaggeratedly waving down to Tayce like she’s in a pantomime. “Tayce is like the only bitch I can stand here, as of currently”
“As of currently? I’m here, as of currently!”
“My point still stands, gorge.”
“After this run can you join up with them?” Denali groans, “Tayce’ll go super-speed with you. And she’ll let you harass her without breaking your nose.”
Mik laughs, “I don’t go that fast, bitch.”
“Have you ever seen that Disney movie Bolt? Y’know the one with that dog who runs like, full speed of light? They could do a live-action version with you as the dog.”
“Woof!”
Denali’s face cracks into a grin as she rolls her eyes, “I’m serious! One minute you’re next to me, the next you’re–” she slides her gloved hands together in a forward motion “–zip. And then I’m the idiot who can’t get down.
“I’d never leave you!” Mik gasps, clapping a palm to her chest. “How dare you, fucking bitch.”
Denali scoffs loudly in response. Every year Mik tries to bully her into doing a couple runs together, and every year without fail Denali obliges, only to find herself stuck at the top of a mountain, Mik nowhere in sight.
“Head,” Mik announces, reminding Denali to duck her head so Mik can raise the safety bar, as they start to approach the end of the lift. Mik lines herself up to the drop-off, riding around the corner smoothly, giggling as Denali has to jog to keep up.
They both sit down to strap in, Mik tightening Denali’s bindings for her and pulling her up with a roll of her eyes.
“See you at the bottom?” Mik asks. Before Denali can answer, she’s slipped off, whooping as she hits a bump and flies upwards, grabbing the nose of her board as she hits the jump.
“So much for never leaving me, I guess,” Denali grumbles, carefully edging herself down the slopes with big sweeping S-shaped turns, she knows Mik will laugh at her about later, reminding her how her ten year-olds could easily out-board her.
Uh yeah, I’d fucking hope so, Denali thinks to herself, curving around onto the toe-edge of her board. Otherwise this’d be the biggest waste of money like, uh, ever.
The air that whips around her is cool, blowing snowflakes into her dark hair, but she doesn’t feel cold, happy in her thick sweatshirt and pants. Her feet are desperate to be unlatched from the board, feeling slightly unnatural to be locked in. She’s much more in her element spraying ice as she nails a complicated spin, she knows Mik would eat ass on.
Yeah, she thinks, fuck you and your ten year-olds, Mickey.
☆☆☆☆☆
“Michelle’s put the board up,” Tayce says in the late afternoon, sticking her head around Denali and Mik’s door propped open by a snowboard boot.
Denali looks up from the book she’s reading, comfortably curled up on her bed with her mandatory evening uniform of thick fluffy socks and sweats on. Mik, on the other hand, is still in her lycra leggings and hoodie, having made no effort to change since coming back, much to Denali’s disgust.
“Well?” Tayce asks in annoyance, cocking her hip, “you coming or what?”
Mik groans, rolling off of her bed and moving to stand next to Tayce in their doorway, bare feet on the cold linoleum. Denali carefully places her bookmark in her book, grabbing a pair of Nike slides– sponsored, thank you very much– and begrudgingly walking down the corridor to their big common room.
The Board– with an optional trademarked symbol from Mik– as it’s been aptly dubbed, is a large whiteboard divided neatly (by the increasingly anal Michelle) into a leaderboard. The top ten coaches are listed top to bottom, ordering the number of world title holders they’ve coached at Bonneville, bonus points being allotted to those whose kids win gold, and double points if the title being held was Olympian.
Michelle says it builds healthy competition. Denali says it builds a desire to Tonya Harding every other bitch in this place. Tomayto, tomahto.
Denali hadn’t even been on The Board, until she had returned three seasons ago with the last World Skating Championships under her belt, managing to land three podium spots. She proudly boasted for months to anyone that looked like they might listen that her girls had swept the categories, winning medals across the ladies’ single event, ice dance and pair skating.
Despite her allure of confidence, she knows she only made it up there because Michelle insists on starting fresh each year. She tries to tell them that she’s giving the new coaches a chance, but everyone knows it’s to keep egos in check.
Egos like mother-fucking Rosé McCorkell’s, who’s placed first on the board two years running.
First as in one spot ahead of Denali’s second, first. First as in gloating in Denali’s face every opportunity she gets (and rest be assured, every opportunity means every opportunity), first. First as in deliberately sabotaging Denali’s skaters, first– well, at least in Denali’s eyes.
Okay, whatever, yes it could have been a coincidence that one of her front runners’ sole came unglued from the attached blade on the morning of Nationals a year ago. And yeah, sure, maybe Rosé was like, several states away from the incident. And okay, yes, she still came in first after the whole thing, so it’s not it even really mattered after all. But Denali just knows Rosé had something to do with it, that bitch.
“Who’s on top of the pyramid this year?” Mik sing-songs when they approach The Board. Denali instinctively works her way through their photos from the bottom to the top, clapping Tayce lightly on the back when she sees her smack-dab in the centre.
She isn’t nervous; she knows she did well this year, the girls she had coached in the previous season competing in nationally-recognised competitions, pictures of them grinning up on their podiums, flowers in sequinned arms, emailed to her and the school. And it’s not even like it matters.
Her photo stands in line with another, both at the top of the leaderboard. She can hear Mik mumble an oh shit, with a laugh as she realises that Denali is tied with Rosé at the top.
Okay, so maybe it matters a little bit.
Rosé’s photo looks down at her. She’s wearing her obnoxious signature pink ski jacket, her name embroidered into it in a sparkly silver thread. Her equally obnoxiouly signature curly pink hair has been tied up in a messy ponytail, and she stares at Denali with a big fucking grin on her face.
Denali wants to rip down the laminated photo, putting it into a paper shredder and watch as Rosé’s dumb face gets torn into ribbons.
“Healthy competition huh?” Tayce remarks, wrapping a long arm around Denali’s shoulders. “The cheek, the nerve, the audacity and the gumption, mama.”
“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” A voice groans, Denali turns around and is met by the woman of the hour. Rosé looks her up and down, irritation flickering in her green eyes. “Stepping your shit up, this season ice princess?”
Denali arches an eyebrow in response. “Evidently, McCorkell.”
Rosé smiles at her, all pearly white teeth Denali is pretty sure are veneers– well, at least that’s the rumour she and Tayce started last year as a laugh.
All of a sudden, she feels like a shark’s prey, a minnow trapped inside the great white’s tank. Rosé doesn’t have to say anything for Denali to know that she’s going to be in for a tough season.
Better get that hammer ready, she thinks to herself, I am not the Nancy Kerrigan of this competition, bitch.
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blazerought · 8 years ago
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SOME NEW TAGS. misc + verses.
because they were all broken so why not.
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nightmareonfilmstreet · 7 years ago
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Looking Back on POLTERGEIST II: THE OTHER SIDE
It’s been 32 years since the release of Brian Gibson’s follow up to the 1982 Tobe Hooper classic Poltergeist. The film is an interesting follow-up and the horror ante is definitely upped, and we aren’t just talking about JoBeth Williams’ perm and Craig T. Nelson’s mullet. Let’s take a look back at Poltergeist II: The Other Side. 
  Back with the Freelings
It’s been one year since the events of Poltergeist and Cueste Verde has been excavated. Tangina (Zelda Rubinstein), with the help of Taylor (Will Sampson), have discovered a mass grave located in a cave. And, of course, that mass grave sits right below where the Freeling’s home once stood. The many found dead died while following Reverend Henry Kane, a psychotic preacher whose spirit is after Carol Anne.
The “freaky Freelings” now live with Grandma Jess, Diane’s mother. With Steven (Craig T. Nelson) now selling vacuum cleaners and the family in a constant battle with the insurance company about their disappearing home. The insurance company keeps denying their claims, with the latest reason being “if the house disappeared then technically it’s just missing”. We quickly learn that Grandma Jess is clairvoyant and apparently its runs in the family, explaining Diane and Carol Anne’s abilities. Sadly, Grandma Jess passes away in the night and that’s when the trouble starts.
Kane comes in contact with the family several times, testing them, trying to enter their lives. With the help of Tangina’s friend Taylor, the Freelings are able to learn more about Kane and the monster he has become in death. In a particularly gross scene, Steven drinks alcohol with a worm in it that causes him to  become possessed by Kane. After attempting to rape Diane, Steven vomits up the worm, now gruesomely evolved which quickly grows larger and larger. After Steven gets him to go away, the family decides it is time to return to Cueste Verde. There, they descend into the cave and are taken to the other side. Then they must defeat Kane, and Grandma Jess ensures Carol Anne is safely with her family once more.
    Behind the Specters
While this film has its own scares, the tone of the film seems distinctly different. Yes there is a similar plot structure, but overall this film seems much darker. Part of this comes from the fact that the set itself was under a shadow. The most obvious thing missing from Poltergeist II: The Other Side is the presence of the oldest Freeling daughter, Dana, played by Dominique Dunne. While the film intended to have Dana going off to college, no real explanation is given during the film as to where Dana is. Sadly, Dominique Dunne was murdered by her ex-boyfriend in 1982, not long after the release of the first film.
While Julian Beck’s portrayal of the evil Reverend Henry Kane still scares me every time I watch it, there is a deep sadness to his performance in retrospect. Beck’s visage and voice always frightened me since childhood, and as the film’s villain that works great. But that sad truth is that Beck was in fact dying when he portrayed Kane. Beck was diagnosed with stomach cancer in 1983 and passed away in 1985, before the film was completed. As a result, voice actor Corey Burton was asked to record some of Kane’s uncompleted dialog. During filming, Julian Beck was very thin and you can see just how so in his face. Beck’s thin skin and sunken features give him a skeletal appearance that adds the Kane’s creepiness. As effective as it is visually, one cannot watch the film and not feel sadness.
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    Amping up the Horror
Poltergeist fed our fear of clowns and televisions. Poltergeist II: The Other Side will make you question braces and toy phones. Instead of Carol Anne communicating with spirits via the family television, she talks to them via her toy telephone after she uses it to speak with Grandma Jess. Same rope, different means.
Personally, there are three scenes in this film that kick up the creep factor. The first one is when we first seen Julian Beck’s Kane walking toward Carol Anne. Gives me the shivers. Carol Anne can’t find Diane or Robbie and is calling out for them. Just then we see Kane approaching.He is translucent and moves right through others in the scene. It’s chilling and it sets the mood for Kane’s introduction.
The next frightening scene comes from Robbie’s braces. Every kid gets anxious and self-conscious about their braces. But what if your braces turned on you? Like literally. Well poor Robbie, that’s what happens the middle Freeling child. As if clown attacks, and tree attacks weren’t enough, now the poor kid has his braces attack him. The wires extend out from the braces and keep expanding until the kid is covered in wires. As Steven tries to free him from the wires, the wires attempt to strangle Steven, as well as move towards the light socket to electrocute them both. The zap finally frees them, but one can’t not feel sorry for anyone with braces watching the film.
The last scene that, for me at least, is very difficult the watch is Steven’s possession. From the disgusting worm swallowing, to the attempted rape of Diane, the scene is dark as can be. Then we are forced to watch Steven vomit up the mutated worm as Diane screams her head off. The whole thing feels so much more vicious that the horror scenes of the original film.
    Native American Mysticism
While we’ve all heard the old “haunted house built of indian burial ground” schtick, this film seems to depend on the Native American angle a little too much. Taylor is depicted as this mystical shaman who uses mystical powers to help the Freeling’s defeat Kane. We see this in two instances.
Firstly, after Steven’s possession, Steven wards off Kane using a smoke spirit, given to him by Taylor. Then later in the cave, once we have ventured to the other side, Taylor provides Steven with a magical spear to destroy Kane. The original film had the Freeling’s turning to paranormal psychologists performing experiments and analyzing data to get Carol Anne back. But this time we are merely given a convenient solution to the problem, which is a little disappointing when compared to the intensity of the first film.
  Poltergeist II: The Other Side was released May 23, 1986.  The film grossed just under $41 million domestically, which was roughly only a third of what the original film had grossed. However, the film was nominated for an Academy Award for its visual effects. While Poltergeist II: The Other Side, doesn’t have the punch that Tobe Hooper’s original film did, Brian Gibson’s sequel is a good follow-up. Either way, there are plenty of 1980’s special effects and totally creepy moments to keep you’re eyes glued to the screen.
Let us know what you thought of Poltergeist II over in our Horror Group on Facebook!
The post Looking Back on POLTERGEIST II: THE OTHER SIDE appeared first on Nightmare on Film Street - Horror Movie Podcast, News and Reviews.
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docrotten · 8 years ago
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Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991) - Episode 22 - Decades of Horror 1990s
"Hasta La Vista, Baby." What?! Terminator 2 on a horror podcast? What kind of insanity is this? If you're asking those questions, it's only fair. Terminator 2 is far more beloved as a sci-fi actioner than for its horror thrills. Yet, looking at the T-1000 (Robert Patrick) and his cold pursuit of John Connor (Edward Furlong), it's pretty horrific. Kind of like a slasher film only with a sci-fi twist. He's an unstoppable killing machine out to destroy. The only thing that may stop him is the T-800 (Arnold Schwarzenegger). That is, if Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) will allow the visage that killed John's father to help out. It's a story of survival, family and the run that made Tom Cruise famous.
Decades of Horror 1990s Episode 22 – Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)
Terminator 2 is inarguably the peak of writer/director James Cameron. It's an actioner full of set pieces most action films could only dream to have as their climactic finales. A sequel that ups the ante of the original Terminator's scrappy efficient thrills. We get full role reversals as the T-800 saves the day. Having to contend with Sarah Connor's doubt and John's affection while trying to defeat the sleek new model of the T-1000. And boy is he sleek. Winner of four Academy Awards, Terminator 2 revolutionized computer generated effects. Yet, much of what made such effects work is helped by the presence of practical effects alongside them. Afterall, would the T-1000's helicopter crash be nearly as good without an actual helicopter being crushed on the road? Probably not.
To help cover all the time paradoxes and high pitched noises from Edward Furlong, Thomas sends two perfect robot co-hosts back in time to cover Terminator 2; Christopher G. Moore and Shakyl Lambert. Together, these three ask the important questions. What is more terrifying: Robert Patrick's run or Danny Cooksey's mullet? Would Denzel Washington have been a better Miles Dyson? Will we see a nuclear holocaust as terrifying as the opening scene in our lifetime? All these and more are answered as Decades of Horror the 1990s finds out exactly why you cry.
Contact Us
We want to hear from you – the coolest, most gruesome fans:  leave us a message or leave a comment on the site or email the Decades of Horror 1990s podcast hosts at [email protected] or tweet Thomas @NotTheWhosTommy. Also, make sure to give us some love via iTunes reviews and ratings. Helps us get more notice along the way.
If you’re in the Atlanta area during Labor Day Weekend (Sept 1-4), make sure to visit us at Dragon Con Horror Track!
The intro and outro is “Suck City” by Black Math. Look for more of their music via Free Music Archive.
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Stephen King's It (1990)
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