#━☽☾ verse; burn ‘da city.

[despairforme]

Think POSITIVE

     This was the sort of thing Nnoitra HATED. What did that even mean? ‘ Think positive ‘? What was he supposed to think about? Flowers and sunshine? What the fuck was that supposed to accomplish? It wasn’t like he could decide what he was thinking about anyway. His thoughts lived a life of their own, and their favorite thing to occupy themselves with, was showing Nnoitra all the stuff that could go wrong in his life. Oh, yeah, and also telling him how fucking worthless he was. If people thought that one could cure ‘ depression ‘ or whatever the fuck Nnoitra’s mental state was called, by merely thinking positive, then they were as wrong as it was possible to be. 

     ❝ FUCK OFF! ❞ Nnoitra sneered, clearly angry. Yeah, stuff like this fucking pissed him off! Just like he hated those happy-go-lucky people who acted like there was nothing wrong in the world. They could go fuck themselves! 

[despairforme]

     ❝ Grimmjow can ya cook??? ❞ - @grimmjxw .

[despairforme]

    100 ways to say ‘ I LOVE YOU ‘ . 4 / 100 for @grimmjxw .     4 - “ Come here.  Let me fix it. ”      ( rebuilt / burn ‘da city verse. )

     Their late-night walk to the beach had been interrupted by an approaching thunderstorm. Grimmjow seemed to be excited about it. Summer rain was fine by Nnoitra, but rain in general held a lot of bitter memories for him, so he wasn’t looking forward to getting an outside-shower. He had suggested that they should at least head somewhere with a roof, to take cover before they got soaked. Going to the beach had been a nice idea though. Nnoitra had never been there past sundown. He hadn’t really... Been there much at all, apart from the times he’d gone with Grimmjow. Needless to say, it was quickly becoming his favourite spot. He wondered where the two of them would hang out during winter. While the thought of ‘ winter ‘ usually made Nnoitra depressed, it didn’t in this context. It wasn’t about the dark, cold days where his depression would be the heaviest - but about the fact that, even in months, he would STILL be able to hang out with Grimmjow. He wasn’t going anywhere. Neither of them were. After having been abandoned by his ex, without so much as a word, Nnoitra had been worried about being abandoned. Hell, he had had similar fears even before his ex left him. Probably because he’d always had the feeling that he would eventually leave him. He was worried about ‘ losing ‘ Grimmjow too, but he wasn’t worried about being abandoned by him. Grimmjow gave off an aura of safety. Nnoitra just wanted to stay in it at all times, but, of course, he couldn’t. He couldn’t be too clingy. Considering what had happened between them in the past, it wouldn’t be surprising if Grimmjow started to have second guesses, and needed some... What was the word? Space? Yeah, something like that. So Nnoitra tried to not make that happen, by giving the other time to breathe. If it had been up to him, they would’ve been together all the time. But, he wasn’t going to be selfish. Not when it came to Grimmjow. He even allowed him to smoke.

     Grimmjow was very considerate, so the amount of cigarettes he finished in Nnoitra’s company weren’t many. Especially if they were inside. Outside was fine, since he could blow the smoke away from Nnoitra. Nnoitra remembered that when they had kissed, he had tasted like cigarettes. Even if he hated the taste, he STILL wanted to kiss him again ( would that ever happen? ). Speaking of cigarettes - Grimmjow had just lit one up. Nnoitra would’ve liked to tell him not to smoke. Not for his own sake, but because it wasn’t good for him. But, he wasn’t going to be all controlling. Grimmjow could do as he wished. It was an addiction anyway, right? So if he needed that nicotine - then he needed it.

     With the approaching thunderstorm, came a stiff breeze. Nnoitra was wearing a hoodie, so he was fine. Grimmjow, however, would probably want to close his jacket. Having only one hand, the cigarette would be placed between his teeth, while he worked the zipper. It should’ve been easy enough, but, unfortunately it got jammed. Nnoitra watched him struggle with it ( fucking zipper?? ), until he couldn’t anymore. Grimmjow probably didn’t want to get help with such simple tasks, but Nnoitra couldn’t watch him wrestle with it any longer.

     ❝ C’mere. Lemme fix it. ❞

     With two hands, it was easy to fix the zipper, which had just gotten jammed. Nnoitra pulled the fabric apart to get it unstuck, and then he closed Grimmjow’s jacket for him, so that he wouldn’t get cold. Yeah, maybe it was stupid of him to help with something seemingly ‘ simple ‘, and he knew he probably shouldn’t feel good about it but... He really did like helping Grimmjow, even with small stuff like that. No, he didn’t want to do everything for him, but, he wanted to do some things! Whatever he needed, Nnoitra wanted to be the one to help him. Was he being selfish? He realized that he’d stepped really close. Way closer than what would’ve been necessary. Upon seeing how close he was, he almost ended up holding his breath. Not only was he close, but his hand was still resting on Grimmjow’s chest. Damn. He just... Wanted to touch him. Nnoitra’s other hand moved up to Grimmjow’s face, and two fingers took a hold of the cigarette. Once Grimmjow let go, he pulled it away, and flicked it onto the ground. He did it both because Grimmjow shouldn’t smoke, and because... He wanted to kiss him. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Being this close was making Nnoitra a bit dizzy. The fingers that were resting against Grimmjow’s chest carefully moved, curling around the fabric of his jacket. Fuck. His other hand was still very close to the other’s face, and a fingertip carefully ( a bit shakingly too ), brushed over Grimmjow’s lips, as if to take away the rest of the smoke. Nnoitra really could kiss him. Right now. Right here on the empty sidewalk. It was windy. Nnoitra’s hair was less than happy about it. His heart was racing. What if he kissed him and ruined something? What if he didn’t want to be kissed? What would happen afterwards? Their relationship was in a good spot. He didn’t want to mess it up, but fuck---

     He pulled away, and looked away. He wasn’t upset that he hadn’t done it. He was more... Surprised at how close he’d gotten. It made him laugh a bit. ❝ Fuck... ❞ The word was just chuckled into the night, his face still turned away from Grimmjow. ❝ Let’s go buy ya some nicotine patches instead. Ya look cool enough, ya don’t need ‘ta smoke. ❞ He had just thrown away Grimmjow’s cigarette after all. The suggestion was mostly made to change the ‘ subject ‘, and fill the silence. And also to prevent Grimmjow from asking about that almost-kiss. Fuck. He couldn’t believe he’d almost done it! FUCK!

[despairforme]

whispers something about him not getting laid either

     Shit— It backfired.

[despairforme]

🐑

Send “🐑” for a nickname. | Accepting .

     ❝ A dude, who should like… Leave me ‘da fuck alone? ❞

[despairforme]

🐑 ;')

Send “🐑” for a nickname. | Accepting .

     ❝ Math bitch. ❞

[despairforme]

🐑 for modern au :3

Send “🐑” for a nickname. | Accepting .

     ❝ Blondie without balls. ❞

[despairforme]

🐑

Send “🐑” for a nickname. | Accepting .

      ❝ Some posh lookin’ blondie. ❞

[despairforme]

🐑

Send “🐑” for a nickname. | Accepting .

     ❝ That chick who ‘s way too nice. ❞

[despairforme]

     ❝  Help. ❞ --- Nnoitra when he realized that he never learned how to pay taxes.

[despairforme]

@kriegr said:  "I could do that."

     ❝ ‘Da fuck dude? I don’t even know ya ‘n ya wanna take care ‘a my plant? Sounds sketchy as fuck. ❞

[despairforme]

     birthday drabble for @grimmjxw - (main)human!au .

     Holy fucking shit. Nnoitra had done a lot of stuff in his life ( and a lot of bad shit ), but it was a long time since he’d felt THIS nervous about something. It wasn’t a completely negative nervousness either, no, definitely not. There was also excitement fluttering in his chest. Nnoitra was shit at remembering stuff. He had often forgotten his mother’s birthday - he would’ve forgotten his ex’s birthday too, had it not been on the same day as his own. He forgot Valentine’s and he forgot appointments. But there was one thing - ONE THING! That he never forgot. He had remembered every year for seven years, and that was Grimmjow’s birthday. The 31. July was here at last. Every year, this date had been filled with sorrow, and a sickening guilt had been twisting in his gut. But, this year - it was different. Grimmjow was ALIVE. Nnoitra didn’t think Grimmjow knew how happy Nnoitra was about that. He seriously doubted that giving him a gift would make him understand, but - Yeah.

     And that was the reason why Nnoitra was so nervous. The gift. He didn’t like buying gifts, simply because he never knew what to get people. He was afraid that if he got them the wrong thing, they would think that he didn’t know them, and take that as an insult. It was stupid, right? It was the thought that counted. If someone had gotten HIM something, he would’ve been really fucking happy, regardless of what he got. But, he knew it wasn’t the same with other people. Like how it had been with his ex. He hadn’t known what to get him, so he’d just said that they would buy whatever he wanted. That had been pretty shitty of him, right? To not even know what to get his partner for his birthday? Mah, that was all in the past now. It was different with Grimmjow, because Nnoitra actually KNEW what to get him.

     He had gotten the idea while walking past a certain shop in town. One of the posters there had caught his attention. It had taken him a while to work up the courage to go inside. ‘ A while ‘, meaning weeks. But, finally, he’d just said to himself to pull himself the fuck together. Just because it was a shop he’d never been to, didn’t mean that he couldn’t go there. Whoever was inside would help him get what he wanted. It just so happened that a very nice lady did exactly that.

     ❝ This is such a wonderful gift. You must love him very much. ❞ That was what she had said to him. Nnoitra didn’t even remember what he’d answered to that. He just knew that he’d been completely shocked at her statement. It wasn’t like he’d given her any indication that his emotions towards Grimmjow were anything but platonic. Was he that easy to read? And, more importantly - Did he LOVE him? Nnoitra had thought he knew what love was, only to be proved wrong. Was it love that he was feeling for Grimmjow? He really wish someone would just tell him. The woman in the shop kind of had, but how would she know? All Nnoitra knew was that he would do anything for Grimmjow. Literally anything. But how could he know that that didn’t come from guilt? His emotions were such a mess, and especially right now that he was standing right in front of Grimmjow’s door, ready to knock.

     He figured he was home, seeing as it was somewhat early, and from what he remembered, Grimmjow really liked to sleep. For the occasion, Nnoitra had put on clean clothes, and even brushed his hair a bit. Not that the last mentioned was visible, with his hair in that messy bun. He sported a dark grey t-shirt with ‘ dark side of the moon ‘ printed on it in white letters, and black pants. In his hands, he was holding a neatly wrapped present. Yeah - he had asked the lady in the shop if she could wrap it for him, and she had gladly obliged. It was a somewhat small gift, in size anyway. The real gift was even smaller, but Nnoitra had put it in a gift box, so that it would be a bit more exciting to open. Personally, he was incredibly childish when it came to opening presents, and thought that unwrapping them was the best part. The box, wrapped in light blue paper, was about half the size of a regular paper, and there was a golden ribbon attached to it. On a note stuck to it, written in Nnoitra’s ugly handwriting, was the message: ‘ Happy Birthday ‘. Not very original. Hopefully the content of the gift would make up for that.

     After taking a deep breath, Nnoitra knocked on the door. He knocked rather hard, thinking that Grimmjow might still be sleeping. A moment passed, and then he knocked again. There were sounds coming from inside, and Nnoitra waited patiently. Well - he was tapping his foot, so maybe he wasn’t so ‘ patient ‘ after all. Finally, the door was opened, and a bed-head Grimmjow ( his hair always looked like that, didn’t it? ) was standing in front of him. Nnoitra grinned at the sight of him. Fuck. He hadn’t really planned on hugging him, and yet, almost on instinct he reached out and pulled him into an embrace. One arm locked around the smaller frame, and he held the hug for a little longer than what would’ve been natural. 

     ❝ Happy Birthday. ❞ He said as he pulled away, still grinning brightly at his friend. Then, he held out the gift for him. ❝ I got ya somethin’, ‘n ya gotta open it right away, ‘cause… ❞ Nnoitra scratched at his ’ Santa Teresa ’ tattoo, something he did when he was nervous or stressed out. ❝ Just fuckin’ open it. ❞

     It hadn’t been a cheap gift, that was for sure. It had cost more than anything Nnoitra had ever bought. His job paid well, and since he lived the same simple lifestyle that he’d always led, he had saved up quite a lot of money. Having to pay that much for a gift hadn’t been an issue at all. After all - Grimmjow should’ve received birthday and Christmas presents for seven years, so he definitely deserved a BIG gift. Not just some nicotine patches.

     Inside the box, Grimmjow would find a stack of cards, a brochure and tickets. Nnoitra’s gift to him was a trip for two to Miyazaki in Japan. Plane tickets and an hotel room was all included. They would leave in two weeks, and be gone 16 days. The cards held information about the hotel, but honestly, it was the brochure that was the REAL gift. Nnoitra had ( or rather, that nice travel-agency lady had ) planned a trip to Aoshima, an island near Miyazaki, known as a cat island.THAT was where Nnoitra wanted to take Grimmjow, since he knew he loved cats. Surely, he would be very happy if he was surrounded by felines? Nnoitra looked at Grimmjow, still nervous about what he would say. He was giving him some time to read through the documents so that he would understand what the gift was. ❝ So do ya… Wanna go? ❞ They were going together, right? Nnoitra held his breath, waiting for a reply.

[despairforme]

"Nnoitra, want to share~?" Szayel brought chinese take-out. [ college!au ]

     The park bench where he was waiting, was the only bench in the entire park that had some shade right now. The large tree behind it was a life-saver, seeing as it was very hot out today. Dressed in all black, Nnoitra wasn’t exactly making things easier for himself. The only thing he’d done to battle the heat, was leave his hoodie at home, and put up his hair ( like he always did during summer ). This was the third day in a row with really hot weather, combined with a fully black outfit. Nnoitra made a mental note to get himself some white t-shirts, or at least a light colour. The one he was wearing now made him look like a fucking emo punk, with the words ‘ kinda okay ‘ printed in white, small letters at the rim of the neck-lining. Emo t-shirt or not - it was still damned hot! Nnoitra tugged at the neck-lining on his shirt, to give his chest a bit of air, and a small pant escaped him. 

     It was around dinner time, so he should fucking stop thinking about getting ice-cream… But, holy fuck… That would’ve been real nice right now. Either an ice cream, or a lollipop, or a cold watermelon, or a chilled soda… Fuck. Stop. He was making himself both hungry and thirsty, and ended up panting again ( or was it a sigh? ). He’d been texting with Szayel, and they had agreed to meet up for a bit. Nnoitra had nothing to do during the days, so he definitely didn’t mind hanging out with his ‘ friend ‘. How much longer would he take to get here? He stretched his legs out, and leaned back a bit, tilting his head so that he was looking straight up. The blue colour of the sky was so bright that it had him squinting a bit. A bit of it was covered by his nose, which he could constantly see, being that he only had one eye. It felt like he’d waited an eternity! He was just about to check his phone to see how much time had passed, when he spotted a very obvious pink person, and Nnoitra raised a hand to greet him. 

     The box with a certain logo on it, was what had Nnoitra’s attention. He knew what it was, and he SO hoped that Szayel would ask him — YEAH! Nnoitra’s eye flickered to his face for a short moment, while his face split into a grin. Of course he wanted to share! Well - he would’ve liked the whole box for himself, but whatever. He was already holding out his hands, eager to receive the box, or chop-sticks, or something.

     ❝ Hell yeah! ❞ Nnoitra wasn’t often this enthusiastic about things, not even food, but these were pretty good days for him, so his mood wasn’t bad at all. In addition, he was hungry, so food was more than welcome. 

     ❝ How did ya know I was hungry? ❞ What a stupid question. When wasn’t he hungry? Hell, the first time they had met, Szayel had gotten to see for himself how fond Nnoitra was of food. With his skinny body, it looked like he was always in need of a meal. 

[despairforme]

You so bendy XD *I think of the wacky inflatable advertisement things when i read that tag*

     ❝ Ya offerin’ me a job? ❞

[despairforme]

you may be a trashcan but youre one of those high fashion trashcans that people get to be fancy and stylish

     ❝ What ‘da fuck does that even mean… ❞

[despairforme]

If he had to fight a little girl in the human verse, how would he react?

     ❝ I don’t see how that would happen.❞ Seeing as Nnoitra never HAD to do anything. ❝ I mean, I ain’t above beatin’ a kid, but it wouldn’t be a fight. She wouldn’t stand a fuckin’ chance, so I’d just, ya know, maybe push her a bit, ‘n she’d fall over ‘n cry or whateva’. That ain’t what ya call a fight.❞ Nnoitra was definitely not above hurting children, if they annoyed him. They were generally too scared of him to get close enough to annoy him though. ❝ If someone told me ‘ta beat up a ‘lil girl, I wouldn’t do it either. I don’t take orders. ❞ Even if they payed him, assaulting a child was a pretty serious crime, and Nnoitra did NOT need to get into any kind of trouble with the law. In the past, when he hadn’t had the job he had now, he might’ve been inclined to accept money to beat up a child. Simply because he had been in desperate need of income. That wasn’t the case anymore though. He got payed plenty for his cage-fighter job, so he didn’t need to earn extra cash. At least not by doing such a risky thing.