#∆lice x oliver
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this stupid drawing took way to long help-
original
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Hey, I'm the friend of demonicdrone. Can you make me a buff alice to scare them for revenge
Don't mind Oliver in the background-
I don't wanna go into ∆lice's room all of a sudden 😅
#comically buff characters#comically buff ∆lice#fpe oliver#fpe ∆lice#∆lice x oliver#oliver is a simp
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I haven't posted these yet
1/2
#fundamental paper education#alice fundamental paper education#fpe alice#oliver fundamental paper education#fpe oliver#fpe fanart#fanart#art#artists on tumblr#∆lice#oliver x alice#fpe ship#syrups silly art shenanigans#doodles#tw blood
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Just some ∆lice and Oliver stuff (TW Blood)
#artists on tumblr#art#illustration#digital art#fundamental paper education#fpe#fpe fanart#fpe art#fpe oliver#oliver fpe#fpe Alice#alice fpe#fpe ∆lice#∆lice#olice#oliver x alice#alice x oliver#this took forever#ahfot art#ahfot fanart#tw blood#cw blood
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x readersss???
ye- so I’m basically making x readers for some fandoms now I’m taking requests rn
I will take:
loz:
link/linked universe, urbosa, Zelda, basically all the sages minus the minor, fierce deity, dark, Gannon, Ravio
FF7:
so far only cloud
Creepy pastas:
Ben drowned, glitchy red, lost silver, puppeteer, candy pop, (basically all the ogs), x virus, and moreeeee
spider verse:
hobbie, gewn, miles, that vampire guy (forg his name)
SSbu:
pit, dark pit, palutena, link, Zelda, cloud, sonic
Arcane:
Vi, jinx, ekko, Mel, etc…
Pokémon:
silver, gold, ash, goh, (all the gym leaders basically) hop, Marnie, mallow, Lana, gladion, Lillie, Kiawe, (BASICALLY EVERYONE IN SUN AND MOON) Garry, Arlo, and some others I forgot-
Fundamental paper education (I’m still learning about this one so they all might have completely different personality’s):
Miss Circle, Miss Bloomie, Miss Emily, Miss Grace, Miss Sasha, Miss Thavle, Mr Demi, Abby, Oliver, Zip, Skell, and ∆lice
I feel to lazy to put the rest you can just ask if I do them LOL
i do Take disorders as well for Readers and smth
I will not take minors and child readers unless it’s fluff or platonic I also won’t take yandars tho
ALSOOO idc if minors interact or not because I was that age too just don’t blame me if u get in trouble 🤷🏾♀️
#link x reader smut#fierce deity x reader#shadow link x reader#hobie brown smut#urbosa x reader#pit x reader#Ssbu x reader#pokémon x reader#pokémon xy#pokemon x reader#pokepasta x reader#pokémon#pokemon trainer#creepypasta x reader#fundamental paper education#fundamental paper education x reader#miss circle x reader#spider man x reader#arcane x reader#Skell x reader
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FNF X FPE NOTHING MORE TO IT I HAVE THE CHARACTERS PLANNED OUT I JUST NEED TO DRAW... WHICH WILL BEE VERY PAINFUL :')
FNF X FPE AU
BF - OLIVER
GF - ∆LICE
PICO - EDWARD
SKID- CHIP
PUMP- ZIP
SKY- RILEY
KAPI- CUBBIE
SARVENTE- MISS SASHA
NONSENSE- ROBBY
RUV- MISS BLOOMIE
AGOTI- MISS CIRCLE
TABI- MISS THAVEL
MOMMY MEAREST- MISS GRACE
WHITTY- MISTER DEMI
GARCELLO- MISS EMILY
REBECCA- SKELL
HEX- RUBY
SUNDAY- CLAIRE
SELEVER- ENGEL
RASAZY- BUBBLE
SENPAI- ABBIE
CLOUD- LANA
MONSTER/LEMON DEMON- FEN
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Welcome to my blog!!
Here is my second blog!
@lilly111111111
My MSM friend code: 1059582751MF
My MSM DOF friend code: C8ZWJ89N
Idk if anyone will add me :)
And here are my ships from:
Hazbin Hotel
Charlie x Vaggie
Alastor x Lucifer (My fav)
Angel Dust x Husk
Sir Pentious x Cherri Bomb (My fav)
Vox x Valentino
Carmilla x Zestial
Lute x Adam (My fav)
Sera x Lilith
The Amazing Digital Circus
Pomni x Ragatha
Pomni x Gummigoo (My fav)
Gangle x Zooble (My fav)
Jax x Kaufmo
Sun x Moon
Caine x Kinger (My fav)
Kinger x Queenie
Martha Mildenhall x Princes Loolilalu
Fundamental Paper Education
Miss Circle x Miss Grace (My fav)
Miss Bloomie x Miss Thavel
Miss Sasha x Mister Demi
Claire x Engel
Abbie x Lana (My fav)
Abbie x Olivier
Oliver x ∆lice
Zip x Edward ( My fav)
Lizzy x Petunia
Ruby x Skell
Garten of Banban
Banban x Nabnab (My fav)
Banbaleena x Nabnaleena
Opila Bird x Tarta Bird
Stinger Flynn x Jumbo Josh
Queen Bouncelia x Nanny
Sheriff Toadster x Bittergiggle (My fav)
Syringeon x Sir Dadadoo (My fav)
Flumbo x Brushita
Care of Gongon
Gongon x Nognog (My fav)
Gongolara x Nognolara
Gongolara x Pompom (My fav)
Pompom x Pinpin
Denden x Pinpin
Officer Clawanne x Aquaferal (My fav)
King Hop-Along x Queen Hop-Along
Lumocto x Fleximint
Chatterbox x Talkbox
Poppy Playtime
Huggy Wuggy x Boxy Boo (My fav)
Kissy Missy x Poppy
Mommy Long Legs x Daddy Long Legs
CatNap x DogDay (My fav)
Bobby BearHug x Hoppy Hopscotch
KickinChicken x Bubba Bubbaphant (My fav)
CraftyCorn x PickyPiggy
Cat Bee x Candy Cat
Pj Pug-a-Pillar x Bunzo Bunny
Bron x Daisy
Rainbow Friends
Blue x Green (My fav)
Purple x Orange
Cyan x Yellow
Billie Bust Up
Barnaby x Fantoccio (My fav)
Aristotle x Arthur
Percy x Scrimshaw
Lewis x Lilly
KinitoPet
Kinito x Sam (My fav)
Sam x Jade
Inside Out
Joy x Sadness (My fav)
Joy x Anxiety
Anxiety x Fear (My fav)
Anxiety x Ennui (My fav)
Anger x Disgust
Dandy's World
Dandy x Astro (My fav)
Poppy x Boxten
Gigi x Scraps
Rodger x Teagan
Tisha x Brightney
Goob x Shrimpo (My fav)
Shelly x Vee
Sprout x Cosmo
Glisten x Finn (My fav)
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✨ PET NAMES ✨
Terence for Adrian - sunflower
He doesnt know why, but he thinks it suits Adrian. And it has became their thing. Once Marcus called Oliver 'sunflower' (u know, he spends too much time with Hucey) and Oliver called it "really fucking weird to be called as Adrian"
Adrian for Terence - love/lover boy
Ade has been in love with Terence for years before they got together so now he tells "love" every time he can. And after they engaged he switched for "fiance" for a moment
Marcus for Oliver - babe
Hes totally babe kind of person. But lets be honest, he usually calls him Wood (eventually Ollie, because Oliver hates it and Flint loves angry Oliver)
Oliver for Marcus - everything that is so cute you wanna throw up, ironicly of course
Yeah... He probably should stay with Flint
Cassius for Ernie - pretty (boy/one)
Well, nothing much to explain, Ernie is pretty. And it makes him blush, which Cassius lover (and in bed "baby boy" is sometimes used, those kinky shits)
Ernie for Cassius - Cass/Cassius
Okay, I know it may looks dumb. But Cassius hates his name and doesnt let anyone use it. Anyone except Ernie, its a privilege
Lucian to all the girls - cutie/dear/honey
He is not the best at making long-term relationship. But he loves flirting with girls and he's handsome and popular, so many girls want to flirt with him. He also has that terrible memory of names so yeah... Honey
Perry Derrick for Alicia Spinnet - everything which is dumb-cute
i love that ship, i made it and im proud mother. And yeah, he would use every single pet name in the world, especially when he wants something. He would be like "please, darling, honey, my love, cupcake, honeybee". It was just too much for Al when he called her his pumpkin pie
And Al usually go with lovebug. She loves Derrick but sometimes he's worse than lice
Graham for Rosemarie - lovebird
Idk why, but i find it cute. No much story here
And Rose would call him fiance then husband, shes excited and in love
Miles for x (i still havent create a girl for him) - darling
Hes a simple man. But when they fight and/or he's mad at her, he changes it to harling (harling is a method of wall finishing, which makes the wall rough textured
No beta, we die like men
Also can anyone explain me why the fuck they say "сыграть свадьбу" in Russia? Google translator literally translate it to "play a wedding", its horrible (it means get married from what i know)
#harry potter#bxb#slytherin quidditch#flintwood#slytherin quidditch team#marcus flint#adrian pucey#marcus flint x oliver wood#oliver wood#hucey#slytherin#slytherins#gryffindors#gryffindor quidditch team#cassius warrington#ernie macmillan#cassius warrington x ernie macmillan#miles bletchley#peregrine derrick#derrick x spinnet#alicia spinnet#peregrine derrick x alicia spinnet#graham montague#graham montague x rosemarie#pet names
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A Date
Zalgo x Reader. This was written. As a birthday gift. To myself. I’m old now and I deserve at least one self indulgent self insert fic and by god this is the one. Please enjoy.
Word count: 1765
‘’Fucking hell…’’
Stood up again. You really thought it’d be different this time. The guy seemed so nice, ‘not like other guys’. You couldn’t be more wrong. You’d agreed to meet at the Olive Garden at five. It’s now six-thirty, and you’re half heartedly chewing on mozzarella sticks while scrolling through Tumblr. An amazingly romantic evening with just yourself. Getting your outfit dry cleaned was a waste of money.
‘’Excuse me,’’ you look up from your phone at the sound of a deep, smooth voice. Your eyes widen. Standing in front of you is a tall, muscular man. Dressed in a button-up shirt and waistcoat. His skin is a copper-brown colour, and his fluffy hair is a dark brown colour, tipped with red. Like flames. Your eyes run up his arms, both tattooed. One with spiraling flames and the other with blue ink. The most alluring thing however, is his eyes. A bright gold colour. Under his right eye are three freckles, neatly dotted like they were painted on there. ‘’Are you...waiting on someone?’’
You sigh, looking away from the handsome stranger and grabbing another mozzy stick. ‘’No.’’ you reply simply. A grin curls up his face.
‘’May I sit here then?’’ he asks. Your eyes shoot up, surprised and confused as he gestures to the seat across from you. You freeze for a moment. You don’t particularly want to talk to anyone right now, you’d much rather finish your meal and go home to sulk in your pyjamas but...damn this man is a ten. Not even that, a solid twelve!
‘’Uh- sure. Yeah.’’ you reply quickly. As he slides into the seat across from you you try to fix your hair and wipe sauce and grease off your face. You look over at him and smile for a second before looking down again. Was that weird? Probably. You’re weirding him out. You’re gonna drive away another good guy. What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you just-
‘’So what’s your name, if I may ask?’’ he purrs. His voice is like...tar. Warm, smooth tar that spills down and into your ears...very romantic. Your similes rival that of Shakespeare’s. Clearly.
You stare at his face for another extra moment. He looks so laid back and, and his lips are curled up into a small smile as he rests his face in his palm. ‘’y/n.’’ you answer. He smiles wider.
‘’y/n…’’ he rolls the name around on his tongue. ‘’Unusual. I like it.’’ he grins across at you and you blush. He chuckles. ‘’I hope this doesn’t come off as rude but…’’ he traces a finger on the table, drawing patterns on the wood. ‘’I saw you sitting alone and couldn’t help but think ‘who would leave a pretty thing like that alone’?’’ he looks up at you. ‘’So of course...I had to come over and say hello. I’ve always been impulsive. Drove my parents crazy.’’ he chuckles again, and you can’t help but laugh in reply.
‘’Me? Really?’’ you tilt your head. Now he’s just trying to sweet talk you, isn’t he?
He nods. ‘’It’s true,’’ he looks you over for a moment before smiling. ‘’Maybe it’s the outfit.’’
Oh. Oh, getting that thing dry cleaned was not a mistake. You smile. ‘’Maybe…’’ you murmur before smirking. ‘’You’re not too bad yourself.’’ you add. He laughs. It’s a nice noise. Hearty, and light. He radiates warmth. Everything from his kind gaze, to the way he smiles across at you as he cups his face in his hands.
He tilts his head, looking you over. ‘’Why are you alone anyhow? You’re all dressed up, but here you are eating mozzarella sticks all alone…’’ he murmurs before reaching over and stealing a mozzarella stick. If it were anyone else this man would be dead by now, but he’s way out of your league so you legally can’t murder him in cold blood.
‘’Well…’’ you glance aside. ‘’I got stood up. I had a date but...y’know…’’
He frowns, looking sad. ‘’Really?’’ he tilts his head. ‘’Well...that’s ironic. The same thing happened to me…’’ he sighs and looks aside. ‘’Can’t find a decent guy nowadays, can you?’’
You laugh a bit, glancing aside and blushing some more. He got stood up too? Damn...it must be your lucky day! ‘’Heheh...yeah…’’ this is good! He must be free too! Maybe you guys could-
‘’Hey,’’ his voice interrupts your thoughts. He smiles across at you, palms flat on the table. ‘’Maybe we could spend our evenings together? You see I...well, me and my date, we made plans to go to the local museum. I know that sounds boring- both of us really enjoy history and astronomy you see- but now...I just have two tickets going to waste.’’ he tilts his head. ‘’Maybe I could take you? And if it’s boring...I know a nice bakery we could visit after. I’ll pay, as condolence for the even worse evening.’’ he grins playfully and you find yourself giggling.
‘’Geez- a museum?’’ doesn’t really sound like your ideal date but...this guy is enchanting. And if this is what you have to do to get his number then it’s worth it. ‘’Well...it’s not like I have anything else to do-’’
‘’Great!’’ he lightly hits the table and grins brightly. You jump a bit in surprise. He reclines back, calm as ever before turning and looking to the side. He whistles and a waiter from across the restaurant perks their head up. How did they even hear that-? No matter. You reach into your bag to grab your money.
‘’Ah-ah.’’ he interrupts you. You look up and see he’s holding a credit card. ‘’I’ll pay, I insist.’’
You frown. ‘’You don’t have to do that- honestly I don’t mind.’’
‘’Sweetheart, I’m wearing designer clothing right now.’’ he replies with a deadpan look. ‘’I can afford to buy a pretty person some Olive Garden.’’
You blink in surprise. ‘’O-oh.’’ you glance down, embarrassed, and put your money back in your bag. ‘’Okay.’’ you didn’t realise he was rich. Does he think you’re rich too? Oh shit...what if this is just him trying to find someone to fit his evening with? Is he actually interested in somebody like you?
‘’Ready to go, cutie?’’ his voice snatches you out of your thoughts. You look over at him. He’s standing up, smiling at you expectantly. You blush and stand up, grabbing your things. You smile at him nervously as he holds out his hand. You hesitate for a second before he reaches over and takes your hand in his. Specifically the hand covered in blue ink.
He’s enchanting. There’s something about this man, the way his smile stretches across his entire face, the way his eyes shine with such a warmth you can practically feel it. His voice is so soft and soothing, it’s like you’re melting into him. The night air should be too cold, but he’s holding your hand and he feels warm. As you look over him, you notice something. ‘’Are your tattoos glowing?’’
He looks up in surprise, stopping mid-sentence. You feel bad for interrupting him, but his smile reassures you. ‘’Oh! Yes,’’ he chuckles and holds out his arm, the one decorated with swirling flames. ‘’It’s glow in the dark ink!’’
You arch a brow. ‘’That’s a thing?’’
‘’Oh, yes! Very experimental- not to mention expensive, but it looks cool doesn’t it?’’ he chuckles and drops his arm, reaching into his pocket. He pulls two tickets from his pocket and smiles before tugging your hand. He pulls you into the museum. The last time you were in here...well you must’ve been just a kid. He smiles at you and tugs you again. ‘’Come on! They have a collection on bronze and iron age metalwork- it’s very interesting- ooh! And the egyptian exhibit.’’ he giggles, like a giddy child. You smile a bit. None of that sounds as interesting as he makes it sound, but he’s so enjoyable to be around, you smile and follow after him enthusiastically.
‘’Ancient egyptians of both sexes strived for beauty, did you know that?’’ his arm is around your waist now as you gaze at the exhibit. ‘’But their beauty was practical...the application of kohl around the eyes, combined with moisture from the eye made a protection from the sun’s glare...wigs reduced the risk of lice,’’ his voice is soft, low. You melt against him. ‘’They even had tattoos...they were geniuses. Architects, scientists, lovers, families…’’
‘’You speak like you knew them.’’ you laugh. He chuckles and squeezes you.
‘’Maybe I did.’’ he feels warm and soft. ‘’Maybe I was a pharaoh, in a past life.’’
‘’And what was I?’’ you grin up at him. He gives you a sly smile.
‘’My personal slave.’’
You blush and smack at him, gawking in false shock. ‘’You dog!’’ you giggle. He laughs and grabs you by the hips, smiling down at you. His grin is intoxicating. His teeth are sharp, you notice. Surgery? He seems like the type to get that done. He links his arm with yours and pulls you along, smiling at you. You feel obligated to follow him into the dark room he leads you to. You look around. The walls are pitch black, until the curved ceiling suddenly lights up into a galaxy. You gasp.
‘’Do you like it?’’ he asks softly, as if he created the projection just for you. You step away from his side and smile up at the ceiling. ‘’The stars are enchanting...I adore them.’’ he smiles warmly as he speaks. ‘’But they’re so far away. Humans could never hope to see one up close, never touch one with their own two hands…’’ he walks past you. The ceiling casts a blue glow on him, and he seems to shimmer in the light. Ethereal, like he isn’t quite real. He snaps his fingers and the ceiling suddenly changes, showing the sun. He’s lit up in fiery red that flickers over him. ‘’It’s sad, isn’t it? How we can’t ever reach the things we wish so desperately to touch…’’ you step toward him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Your hand slides down and intertwines with his blue fingers. He looks down at you. He looks so...sad. He turns to you and cups your face.
‘’But you can reach me.’’ you say with a small smile. He sighs, his lips turning up.
‘’I suppose I can…’’ he murmurs as he leans in and kisses you softly.
#creepypasta#creepypasta fanfic#creepypasta fanfiction#creepypasta x reader#zalgo#zalgo creepypasta#zalgo x reader#writing#my writing
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2/2 yayayyaya
Also small headcanon they share drawings of each other
One (or maybe a few) drawing(s) of ∆lice in Oliver's room, a small drawing of Oliver scratched into the door in Alice's room
#fundamental paper education#alice fundamental paper education#fpe alice#oliver fundamental paper education#fpe oliver#oliver x alice#∆lice#art#artists on tumblr#syrups silly art shenanigans#doodles#tw blood
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I don't want to linger any longer
DCU Gen Rating: G Words: 7,523 AO3
In upstate New York there's a very lush, very expensive summer camp that caters to the children of the rich and famous. Bruce and Oliver happen to be those children. And they're less than thrilled to be at this camp.
Alfred was leery of the summer camp. Bruce went to public school partially because of Martha's pointed remarks regarding democracy and public education, partly because of her pointed remarks regarding Thomas's own time at boarding schools and prep schools surrounded by equally rich and entitled boys. Alfred never said anything at the time, it wasn't his place, and would never say anything now but, he whole heartedly believed both. Especially after his own childhood in private schools, even if the times and the British and American systems were very different. Regardless, Bruce was remaining in public school with all the trials it entailed. Including the socializing problem.
He'd always been a quiet, almost shy child but after Martha and Thomas died he retreated far beyond. Even friends from before like Miss Zatara took coaxing and occasionally trickery to get him to interact with. At thirteen and with the beginnings of acne and voice cracks the behavior was partially to be expected. The newfound interest in The Clash was too. Still, Alfred felt strongly that the boy should have the opportunity to at least try and make some friends. So when he overheard some of the women mentioning the summer camp during one of the Wayne Foundation luncheons Bruce insisted they attend "for appearances" (and Alfred was a little worried about the thought process behind that as well but well, one thing at a time) he had to break his normal rule and butt in.
"Pardon me, but what summer camp might this be?" He tried to be as nonobtrusive as possible, it still raised some eyebrows from the women with their pearls and perfect red lipsticks. Their clothes were so immaculate that while he knew they all had nannies, looking at them you never would've even known they had children. Alfred no longer owned a single shirt that wasn't stained somewhere by something, he just hid them well.
The blonde in the most putrid shade of chartreuse he's ever seen recovered first. "Oh! Camp Open Woods. It's in upper state New York, very exclusive but so worth it." Mimi flicked her wrist and half rolled her eyes as though to indicate sending the children she never saw there was the best parenting tip she'd ever taken. Mitzie shifted her hair before continuing, "They've got hiking and horses and like there's a lake." The other women all hum and coo their agreement at how pretty it is, Muffy silenced them with a brow, she was the one who started the story after all. "The kiddos just love it there. Go for a month a time. Would be there year round if they could!" They all nod enthusiastically in agreement.
"Sounds lovely." Which isn't strictly incorrect, but Alfred sincerely doubts these women would actually know whether their children enjoyed the camp or not. "I'll have to look into it, thank you," Alfred excuses himself. He will look into it.
The camp itself does seem the definition of picturesque, with acres of land and woods as well as the lake. The cabins looked to be clean and well maintained. The extensive list of activities alone made Alfred want to go. He reached out to the nannies he'd made friends with over the years, trying to gauge how any of the kids who attended regularly really felt. And the reviews were glowing.
Alfred made an executive decision, the fresh air would be good for Bruce, and called to secure a place for June. Just one month, to test it. Bruce might not be pleased at not having been consulted but Alfred was sure the end results would be well worth it. And if not, it's not like the boy could fire him in revenge. Legal guardianship made that rather tricky.
~
Oliver heard someone stop in the hall outside his room. From where he sat on the floor organizing the old jazz records his mother had given him he couldn't see who it was, the bed was in the way and he didn't really want to move everything just to get up. That seemed like a lot of work. Whoever it was could just come in. Or talk. Whatever. He wasn't moving.
"Are you in here, Oliver?" he finally heard his mother ask, apparently having grown impatient.
"Yes."
"I signed you up for camp. You leave for New York in the morning. It comes very highly recommended, I'm sure you'll enjoy it. Chef is making your favorite chicken parmesan as a treat for dinner at six. I will see you then." The sound of her heels were nearly silent as she made her way back down the hall with its plush carpeting.
Taking a minute to process this, Oliver stared at the short shelves in front of him momentarily. Well there went his record organizing, now he was going to have to try and pack.
~
Bruce narrowed his eyes as Alfred slowed to turn the car onto a narrow lane that was barely a break in the trees. A large, wooden arch above it was carved to proclaim it as the entrance to "Camp Open Woods." Somehow, Bruce managed to narrow his eyes even more. Though he suspected it made him look like he was squinting. Especially by the way Alfred pressed his lips into a tight line, an obvious tell that he was trying not to smile.
The lane curved gently through the trees until they opened up to show a field, teenagers and college students in soft blue polo shirts and khaki shorts were scattered throughout it, directing cars in where to park and kids and parents in where to go next. A girl with brightly colored beads on the ends of her tight braids waved at Bruce through the window as they passed. Tentatively, he waved back at the counselor.
Once they were parked, the sleek black sedan settling a little into the grass as they both got out, Bruce immediately slung his backpack on and beat Alfred to the trunk to pull out his bulky footlocker. "Master Bruce," Alfred chided gently, reaching in to help lift the heavy thing, "I do wish you'd let me do that."
"It's fine, Alfred," Bruce protested. Even if the help was appreciated. "Isn't the whole point of this to teach me to be self-sufficient?" Bruce tried to level his steeliest gaze on the man. The unimpressed look he got in return told Bruce he might need to work on that.
Alfred sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in the process -- and really Bruce didn't think his actions warranted that level of dramatics -- before leveling a flat look at Bruce. "No, Master Bruce. The point of this endeavor is that you enjoy yourself with peers of your own age. Possibly make friends. Build lifelong bonds. Get a nasty sunburn on the first day and minor bear scare on the last."
Bruce frowned and lifted one end of the battered footlocker Alfred had dislodged from the attic the week before. Possibly, it had been Alfred's and come from some hidden corner of the man's room as Bruce had never seen it before even in all his exploring of the manor's nooks and crannies. "Exiting pursued by a bear is not a worthy goal, Alfred," he said dryly.
Lifting the other end of the footlocker the duo began to make their way towards the counselors with carts lined up at the front of the field. "Maybe not for yourself, but personally an exciting and Shakespearean end would be the greatest achievement of my mundane existence."
He snorted, and Alfred wondered where his own penchant for melodrama came from.
"Hiya folks!" The young man next to a cart already loaded with duffels and trunks waved brightly as they approached. "Welcome to camp! Where are you staying?"
Bruce glanced to Alfred and Alfred returned the look, both challenging the other to speak first. If Bruce admitted that he had read and memorized the pre-camp welcome packet then Alfred would see it as a win. If Alfred's patience crumbled before Bruce's then it would vastly undermine the veneer of authority Alfred had managed to paint over their strange relationship. The poor guy standing by the cart was starting to look uncomfortable.
Finally, Bruce broke. He was going to be here for a month, it's not like he'd have to see Alfred be smug during that time. "Pine Ridge," he said flatly.
The counselor visibly sagged in relief. "Ok, great! You're going to toss your gear on that cart up there where Gambit's standing then follow the road to the Health Center to turn in your paperwork and get your head and foot check."
Wrinkling his nose, Bruce nodded. He wasn't really a fan of being touched, even for medical examinations, and was a little glad he got a heads up. He'd briefly forgotten about the fact the packet had said there would be a lice and athlete's foot examination. Not that Bruce had either, which is probably why he'd let it slip his mind. They reached the next cart and a young woman with large sunglasses leant against it. Bruce squinted at the lanyard she had around her neck with an odd badge on the end as a nametag, all the counselors had variations of brightly colored and often glitter coated badges on lanyards. Each as unique as the names on them. Hers had popsicle sticks layered to make a large X and playing cards glued on top so that their back's made a place to write. "Gambit" had been scrawled in looping white paint. With red glitter. Bruce really hoped they weren't going to force him to make a glitter nametag.
"Are you living in Pine Ridge?" She asked, pushing off the cart to stand and raising her clipboard.
"Yes," Bruce said simply.
Gambit nodded. "You can toss your stuff on. What's your name?"
"Bruce. Bruce Wayne."
"Ok, double-o-seven," she smirked, checking off something on her clipboard. "I'm Gambit, head girls counselor for Pine Ridge. But just cause I'm not the one doing bed checks on you doesn't mean I'm not still in charge," she teased. Bruce was fairly certain he heard Alfred snicker. "Anyway, you'll be seeing a lot of me over the next month even though we don't share a latrine. You a first time camper?"
"Yes."
"Well then, welcome Bruce, Bruce Wayne!"
Alfred definitely snickered at that.
"Um, thanks."
She grinned and stuck her pen back behind her ear. "I'll watch your stuff until the grounds guys come and hook the cart up to the ATV to take it up to the cabins. Lucky us, we're on the hill. Nice site, one of my personal favorites actually, but you'll be getting your steps in while you're here. Whole summer or no?"
"Um, just the month." Bruce was starting to get a little overwhelmed in the face of her relentless positivity.
"Rad. Well, I hope you enjoy it! You're gonna want to follow the gravel road trail and head to the health center. I'll see you at dinner."
Bruce nodded and began to walk on, Alfred a step behind him. Once they were out of earshot, Bruce hung back slightly so that they walked next to each other and turned to Alfred. "Do you think everyone's going to be like that?"
"Well Master Bruce, I don't think that children's summer camp counselor is a position that attracts introverts," Alfred replied dryly.
Bruce glared.
"Which isn't to say, however, that every person here would be so enthusiastic."
"Hmm." Bruce didn't say anything else and they made their way to the two-story farmhouse that had a sign hanging from the porch proclaiming it the "Health Center" in silence.
A large group of people were spread out in the grass in front of the porch around a series of low, backless wooden benches. Bruce slowed as they approached, lingering on the gravel. Alfred gripped his shoulder once before gently pushing Bruce forward to step into the grass. Alfred was still a head taller than him, but Bruce was catching up and he couldn't wait for the day he could glare at the man without craning his neck. Alfred looked the picture of cool indifference and collected innocence.
"Excuse me," Alfred called, striding forward and fully expecting Bruce to follow. Which he did, but in silent protest. "Is there a queue?"
"Not really," the teenaged boy Alfred had asked shrugged. "Just give your paperwork to nurse Doc, then pick a spot on a bench and we play monkey."
"Monkey?" Bruce tried to raise an incredulous eyebrow. It was a work in progress.
The older boy's face split into a wide grin. "Yeah! You know," and here he began to howl and jump, scratching at his head in imitation of a monkey.
"Ohmystars, Apollo you're ridiculous!" Another teenager said, her silver painted crescent moon nametag read "Artemis" and the two did look like they could be siblings if not twins. "Theater kids." She rolled her eyes derisively.
Apollo stopped abruptly. "Arty, you're a theater kid."
"Tech kid. There's a difference," she snapped with practiced ease.
"She is correct," Alfred added sagely. Bruce's forehead met his palm as he hung his head.
"Thank you!" Artemis preened. "C'mon, I'll take ya in to Doc." She gestured at them to follow as she turned and headed onto the porch. Having no real other option, Bruce glanced at Alfred before following. Artemis had waited for them, holding open the screen door before shouldering open the second door and leading them into a large room with worn wooden floors and a table with a trio of adults sitting behind it. Some other children and parents stood in front of them and spoke with the adults at the table. Artemis winked and wiggled her fingers in a wave before turning to head back outside. But she stopped short and came to stand next to them again. "Actually, they don't need me out there right now and I'd much rather soak up the AC with you."
Bruce nodded. It was cold in here, especially compared to the muggy afternoon it was shaping up to be. And those polo shirts didn't exactly look comfortable. Neither did the crisp button up and khakis Alfred wore, but Bruce could count on one hands the number of times he'd seen Alfred in shorts or a t-shirt. The group in front of them shifted and Artemis lead them to the table. The burly woman on the end glanced up at them and smiled. Unlike the counselors, her nametag was a pin though she, and the other two adults at the table, still wore the light blue polo shirt. And her nametag also had sequins spelling out "Doc."
"Hey there, you have your paperwork?" she said by way of greeting.
Alfred produced a carefully paperclipped stack from somewhere. Bruce honestly had no clue where. Sometimes Alfred liked to do things like that just to puzzle him. Often times. Bruce was certain he did it routinely just for fun and Bruce's annoyance.
Doc took the stack and looked it over before leaning over to file it in a plastic tub and marking this off on a couple different clipboards. "Alright," she said finally, "you're officially checked in, Mr. Wayne. You still need to be checked over before we can let you run wild. But you're checked in. Welcome to Camp." She smiled broadly and held out a hand, Bruce shook it and managed a small smile in return.
Artemis led them back outside and instructed Bruce to sit, take off his shoes and socks, and wait for Apollo cause she didn't "do feet." Alfred chuckled as Bruce sat, his nose wrinkled, and Artemis took gloved hands and a comb through his hair. Apollo eventually reappeared as she declared him lice free and he poked at and spread Bruce's toes before proclaiming him "good to go!"
As Bruce pulled his socks and sneakers back on -- Alfred refused to buy him hiking boots because they wouldn't be broken in in time and apparently if Bruce was going to be miserable it was going to be his own conscious choice and not due to poor footwear decisions -- Alfred chatted with Apollo about a production of Midsummer that the counselor had done in fall. Finally, Bruce was standing up and slipping his backpack on again.
"Well, I'll let you say bye to your dad and then we'll go find your group," Apollo grinned.
"He's not-" Bruce started but the older boy had already walked away and started talking to one of the other counselors. "Hmph."
Alfred raised a single eyebrow -- Bruce wished he'd just teach him how to do that already -- and gave him a sly smile. "Well Master Bruce."
"Alfred."
They both stood there staring at each other. Finally, Bruce caved and stepped forward to wrap his arms around Alfred. "Bye Alfred," he muttered.
Returning the hug, Alfred replied. "I shall be back at the end of the month. I do sincerely hope that you enjoy yourself, Master Bruce. And I expect letters at least once a week. You should have more than enough stamps for that and if not you have credit at the camp store."
Bruce snorted at that before pulling away. "Thanks, Alfred."
Alfred smiled. "Of course, Master Bruce."
Apollo reappeared then and led Bruce to the edge of the trees and a path there. Bruce looked back once to see Alfred still standing by the benches, waving. Bruce waved back before turning to walk into the woods.
~
Oliver tapped his fingers restlessly on the formica topped table. The other kids all seemed to know each other and once the counselor escorting them to the dining hall left they immediately headed off to meet their friends. Not that he minded, Oliver was used to being alone and could function on his own just fine thanks. But all of these kids would be living with him for the next month at the least. They could at the very least come over and ask him who he was. But apparently, Pine Ridge was the largest unit at camp and so his age group was the biggest if they were staying there. And already there were at least twenty other kids who were all preoccupied and not noticing the blonde kid with a bad haircut.
Tugging at his recently shorn hair, Oliver frowned. He'd been trying to grow it out and it was almost to his shoulders when this morning his mother took him to the barber before putting him on the plane and shipping him off. Supposedly, she thought he'd be too hot with all that hair. Oliver just thought it was a convenient excuse. Oliver respected the trick even if he didn't like it. Especially because he didn't like the end result. His ears were still slightly too big and the cut just emphasized that. No girl would want to go out with a guy with satellite dishes attached to his head. Not that any girl seemed to even want to talk to him right now. Not that anyone at all wanted to talk to him. Maybe if he'd stop glaring at the table? But Oliver didn't really want to be here to begin with.
One of the dinning hall doors opened again and Oliver turned to look. The dorky guy who'd walked Oliver over, and only a dork would name themselves Apollo, and a new kid stood next to him. All dark hair and pale skin that Oliver bet was going to be looking like a lobster by the end of the week. He lingered in the doorway as Apollo said something and turned to leave, scanning the space in front of him. One of the other counselors walked over to meet him, he'd said his name was Sherlock and he was the head boys and Oliver secretly respected him for having the guts to name himself after the world's greatest detective. Sherlock was obviously introducing himself to the boy and Oliver was trying to figure out why the kid looked so dang familiar as his gaze landed on Oliver. And stuck.
That's when it hit him. That kid was Bruce Wayne. His parents talked about him all the time. Mostly, wondering what he would do with Wayne Enterprises once he turned eighteen and could take over and what that would mean for Queen Industries' contracts. Oliver had ever only met the kid once. Right after his parents had died and the whole Queen family had flown out to Gotham to "express their condolences" at the Wayne Foundation's Annual Holiday Party. It wasn't until a couple years later that Oliver realized how awkward the whole thing had been. But that was definitely the same kid, older now but his eyes no less haunted. Oliver blinked and turned away. Bruce Wayne was one kid he'd be happy to leave him alone.
Oliver never did have good luck.
"Oliver Queen?" The kid had come up behind him and without asking, walked around to sit on the bench across from him.
"Yeah?" Oliver winced as his voice cracked at the end. Stupid fraggin luck what the frickety heck stupid stupid puberty.
"I remember you." The kid still hadn't taken off his backpack. They were inside and it's not like someone was gonna steal it. Oliver's own sat on the bench next to him and he barely had anything in it anyway.
"Yeah?" This time his voice didn't crack. Small victory.
"I'm Bruce Wayne."
"Yeah."
The kid's brow crumbled in annoyance and he frowned. "Do you ever say anything else."
Oliver gave his cheekiest grin, oh this was too good. There had never been a more perfect set up. "No."
Impossibly, the kid's look got darker.
Oliver sat and smiled back. The seconds stretch out and Oliver just knew they were each waiting for the other to crack. Bruce continued to glare. Oliver continued to smile.
Finally, his cheeks started to hurt and Oliver took the loss. He was kinda starting to feel like an idiot anyway. "So, this your first summer?"
Bruce relaxed his glare but he still frowned. "I'm just here for a month."
"Didn't answer the question, Brucie."
The frown deepened. "Yes."
Oliver nodded. "Mine too," he admitted. Bruce finally seemed to relax.
"I'm... not sure what we're supposed to do," Bruce admitted, though it looked like struggled to.
Oliver let some of his bravado fall. "Yeah, neither do I. I think we're supposed to have fun, whatever that means."
Bruce's mouth twitched in the direction of a smirk. Oliver took it as a small victory.
"Hi!" A high voice warbled behind Oliver and he turned in surprise.
"Zee?" Bruce sounded just as shocked, though he apparently knew the girl that had just yelled in Oliver's ear. She settled heavily on the bench next to him and Oliver turned to look at her. Long black hair pulled up in a ponytail, bright pink shirt and darker pink shorts, light-up sneakers. She looked younger than him too. Which was confirmed when Bruce said "Aren't you too young to be in this unit?"
The girl rolled her eyes. "I turn eleven in July and I'm here for the summer so."
"That didn't answer the question," Bruce pointed out.
"And the unit is twelve to thirteen," Oliver added, finally recovering from his shock at her sudden appearance.
Pushing out her breath in annoyance, the girl flounced to her feet. "So, I may have heard that you were here and in the dinning hall and convinced my buddy to take a detour on the way to the latrine." She wiggled her arm in the direction of another girl shifting awkwardly by the side door. "We have to sit with our groups at dinner tonight but find me at breakfast tomorrow," she said it like an order and then ran off towards her friend and together they left.
"Alfred," Bruce muttered like a curse.
"Her name's Alfred?" Oliver felt like strange names were just a part of camp life but still.
"Her name's Zatanna." Oh, that was even weirder. "Alfred's my butler."
"Right," Oliver nodded like he understood. He absolutely did not. And Bruce did not seem like he would be explaining.
~
The counselors finally rounded them all up and made them stand in a wide circle, saying that they were going to count off and play get to know you games since one game of like forty people could be fun but maybe was a bit ambitious for first thing. Bruce told Oliver to stay where he stood before wiggling away further down the circle so that there was three people between them. Four groups of ten or so made logical sense and even if Bruce didn't know if he liked Oliver, he at least kind of knew Oliver and would prefer being in a group with at least one person he knew. So Oliver would have to be that person.
They both wound up being number three and Bruce leaned forward slightly to look at Oliver and smirk. The other boy just blinked back at him.
By the time dinner and the opening campfire rolled around, Bruce had come to the conclusion that Oliver wasn't his friend, but he was certainly one of the more tolerable of the other campers. As soon as he'd introduced himself as Bruce Wayne he'd been all anyone else could focus on. Even the kids not from Gotham looked at him with wide eyes. It made Bruce sympathize with the lions at the Gotham Zoo a whole lot more than usual. But Oliver acted like he didn't care. Oliver acted like he didn't care about anything. Just joking and smirking. He gained a gaggle of admirers over the course of the afternoon despite how downright obnoxious Bruce thought he was, but he still didn't seem to care that Bruce was Bruce and that's really all that mattered.
Besides, they apparently were in the same cabin. It just made sense that they hung out together. And if Oliver got sick of Bruce or Bruce got sick of Oliver well lots of kids wanted to ask Bruce all sorts of questions and everyone else seemed to love Oliver.
Even still, they sat next to each other at meals when Zatanna and an everchanging roster of her friends would flock to Bruce. Zee sitting herself down next to him and chattering on about what she'd done in the few hours they were apart. Oliver looked bewildered by the interaction every time. Bruce just nodded along at the appropriate points and asked questions as the fancy struck him. Sometimes he'd ask her stupid questions, like if she was sure the horse she rode that morning couldn't fly so that she would laugh and say she hasn't "learned levitation yet, you dingus!" Oliver's face when that would happen always made Bruce grin.
These meals were the bright spots in Bruce's day. He was... not having a good time. They'd had a swim test first thing Monday morning and Bruce had stupidly forgotten to put on sunscreen, so between swimming laps in the lake while the lifeguards made notes and sitting on the beach he'd very quickly burnt to a crisp. And would have to deal with that for the foreseeable future. Then on Thursday during their hike, Oliver had been behind him and tripped, stumbling into Bruce and pushing them both off the trail. Right into a patch of poison oak. So now Bruce had sunburn and poison oak. To say he was in constant pain was putting it mildly.
Bruce wasn't making friends. He wasn't enjoying the great outdoors. He was just slowly suffering in silence. Especially after Oliver left the screen door open one night and mosquitos had gotten in to use Bruce as their very own all you can eat buffet. So now Bruce was sunburnt, covered in mosquito bites, and still had poison oak.
Doc was really the only bright spot in this hellhole. Her air conditioned domain of the Health Center was quite and comforting. With individual exam rooms that meant Bruce could be completely alone for at least a little while. Which Bruce desperately needed. Being around people all the time was exhausting. And Doc herself had a wry, dry sense of humor that Bruce appreciated and a calm demeanor when Bruce sat and complained about the fact it was all Oliver's fault everything itched twice over. She would just snicker and have Bruce put some slightly odd smelling pink cream on his skin. Then she'd tell him that maybe he should write home about it. Bruce would frown and say "I will."
Alfred didn't seem to care though based on the letters back Bruce received. Or possibly the man was making fun of him. Most likely both. The end of the month really could not come soon enough.
~
Frankly, Oliver had no dang clue why Bruce flippin Wayne decided they were friends. Ok, "friends" was a stretch. But still, the kid spent more time with Oliver than anyone else at camp. Maybe he'd hang out with that Zee girl if she weren't in the younger group, and she did come have meals with them and wander over during all camps, but he didn't even really bother to even attempt to talk to anyone else. Oliver at least tried. If only because he was fairly certain he'd singlehandedly end the Wayne family line if he only talked to Bruce. Besides, the other boys in their cabin weren't terrible. Sure they were a little stuck up and that Brad guy had about the same amount of brain cells as Oliver's old hamster, but they weren't awful people. Which couldn't be said about all their fellow campers. Bruce had pushed one boy off the end of the dock the one morning after he said his third sexist remark in an hour. Oliver had gladly covered for him on that one. Another kid kept picking on two of the girls and Oliver might have possibly sort of filled his bag with rocks and as many spiders as he could find when he wasn't looking. He thinks Bruce saw him do it, but he never said anything once the kid got tired of carrying it and opened his backpack then immediately started screaming.
Neither incident had necessarily endeared Bruce to Oliver though. Especially since the kid had somehow managed to tip their canoe while they were in the middle of the lake. So they both floated there buoyed by their life vests spluttering water and trying to right the stupid canoe while screaming at each other and kicking madly. In the cold lake. They never did manage to flip the boat and the counselors had to come with the little motorboat to fish them out of the water. They were still glaring at each other after Sherlock had taken them to get showered and fresh clothes. He let Bruce mess around with his nametag as he ran their wet, smelly stuff into the Health Center and throw it in the washer that was supposedly there. Oliver was still pissed though so he ripped the plastic magnifying glass out of the other boy's hand. Sherlock's name was just a label stuck onto the handle so you could still use it. Which Oliver immediately did in an attempt to burn Bruce's shoelaces.
Which is about when Sherlock came back. "Hey! Oliver! Cut that out! Seriously dude, what're you doing? And Bruce, you were just gonna let him light your shoes on fire?"
Bruce shrugged. "I have other pairs. And I did dump him in the lake."
Oliver handed the nametag back and nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, he's the one who thought he saw a frog and tipped the thing."
"A fish, not a frog."
"Whatever."
"And you gave me poison oak."
Oliver frowned and scratched at some of his own poison oak. "That was not intentional and I have it too."
Sherlock looked between them. "Right. You two are supposed to see Doc soon anyway, wanna go in now?" They both nod and that was the end of that. For then at least. That night Oliver got up to go use the latrine and forgot to close the screen door again. All five boys in the cabin wound up eaten alive and never mind the fact Oliver was just as itchy, Bruce acted as though he'd planned it just to mess with him.
Still didn't excuse the fact that the jerk got them lost and banned from the stables on the following Monday. Oliver liked the stables. He thought the horses were cool and they seemed to like him. He'd tried to schedule as much riding time as they'd let him after the initial group session. Bruce just so happened to have scheduled some on Monday morning too it would seem. And they both were the same ability level. Great. But they were doing a trail ride, going single file through the woods at the edge of camp, didn't leave a whole lot of room for talking and Oliver was more than ok with that. He wound up behind Bruce at the very back of the group and took it at a leisurely pace which Pancake didn't seem to mind. So long as Oliver stayed behind Bruce he just zoned out. Taking in the forest with its sounds and smells, the warm horse that swayed gently as she walked making him sway too. Oliver should've been paying more attention. Because Bruce decided to take his horse on a bit of an adventure. The two were wandering through the woods for an hour before Oliver realized that Bruce had hijacked a horse and gotten them lost. Another two before anyone found them. They'd completely missed lunch. And they were banned from horseback riding.
Not that Bruce cared, he was only here another two weeks.
Oliver had two whole months.
It's not like his father recognized he ever existed half the time, but his mom sending him off to the other side of the country was a bit much. He'd thought they had an understanding. Apparently not. And now he wouldn't even get to ride the horses.
Which Oliver naturally thought was overkill for himself but it was totally punishment for Pancake too. They had bonded. Not that the riding staff seemed to care when he tried to plead his case. Knox looked a little sympathetic at least. And she called after him when he'd turned to walk back over to Brad and maybe go play volleyball or something. "Oliver!" Knox said again and he paused. "I'll talk to Bambi and see about a probationary period or something. Maybe clean some stables or just make it a two week ban since you're here all summer. Kay?"
Oliver grinned. "Thanks." She returned the smile before turning to go back to mucking stalls and cleaning the tack.
~
Archery, Bruce decided, was the worst. It slapped his reddened and itchy skin even with the arm guard on. The smaller bows they had were too easy for him to pull and sent the arrows almost skittering at the target when he released. The bigger ones and the compound bows were too heavy a draw though and Bruce's twiggy thirteen year old arms just didn't have the strength. Oliver didn't seem to like it either. He seemed like the type of guy who had everything handed to him and most of the sports came naturally to him. Archery didn't. It clearly frustrated him that while he managed to hit the target he couldn't hit the center. Or even the yellow rings just outside it. He managed to pepper the blue ones every time. He could at least use the larger recurve bows at least. Which Bruce wouldn't admit to but was supremely jealous of.
"You just gotta practice, you'll get there!" Legolas reassured him. Bruce and Oliver both raised skeptical brows at that. Legolas had gotten his name because he was a crack shot. Hitting the bullseye just about every time. His encouragement wasn't as meaningful as he meant it. Especially when there was a rumor going around that the other counselors had dared him to shoot an arrow off of someone's head while blindfolded. And that he had managed it. "Though not today," he laughed after checking his watch, "we need to clean up for lunch."
The boys and other campers all turned their bows in and Legolas set them in the shed before returning and sending them to collect their arrows. By the time they were all cleaned up a couple other counselors had wandered out of the woods where they must've gone for a hike on their breaks and decided to head with them to lunch. A week and a half of camp had all the kids falling into a buddy line without even being told and Oliver fell in next to Bruce out of habit. Beaker made them do a headcount, checking each camper off on her list, and let Legolas lead them off toward the dining hall. He also started to lead them in some insipid song about a worm getting stuck in a straw. Legolas would shout a line and around Bruce all the other kids would eagerly shout it back. Even Oliver. Bruce would rather actually swallow a worm.
Inside the dining hall was the usual premeal chaos as counselors took their assigned tables and yelled across the room to each other. Kids swarmed around trying to find seats next to friends or at tables with specific counselors. Bruce scanned the space when a small arm covered in bright string bracelets -- and there hadn't been that many at breakfast, Bruce was certain -- shot up and waved towards him enthusiastically. "BRUCE!" Zatanna bellowed. He was fairly certain she'd pushed her magic into it because he could clearly hear it over everything else. That, or Zatanna was just disturbingly loud.
Bruce began walking to the table she was at and the two seats she appeared to be guarding with her life. Oliver followed and Bruce couldn't explain why. Well at least not beyond the fact that it was just what they did anymore.
"Hey kid," Oliver said by way of greeting. Zatanna preened and smiled. She was a ten-year-old queen and this table was her court. Just no one beyond the three of them knew that just yet.
"Hi Ollie. Oh! I want you guys to meet Hartley! He lives in the cabin two over from mine. He really likes music," Zatanna told them breathlessly, pointing at the small redhead next to her. Bruce and Oliver both sat down across from the two as more kids took the spots further down the table. Oliver waved at the boy while Bruce just nodded. "That's Oliver and that's Bruce, he's my best friend," Zatanna told Hartley and pointed at the two older boys.
Bruce frowned at Zatanna and was glad to see the boy looked skeptical when he glanced between Bruce and Zee. "Isn't he a little old to be your best friend?" he asked a little too loudly.
"Yes." Bruce said. "And we're not best friends."
Zee pouted. "Well until Oliver I was your only friend."
"We're not friends," Bruce and Oliver corrected her at the same time.
"Sure," she said with an eyeroll.
The poor boy she'd dragged into this looked so confused. "So, how old are you?" he finally dredged up the courage to ask.
"Thirteen," Oliver sounded smug. Bruce just nodded.
"Oh." Hartley seemed to shrink in on himself.
"How old are you?" Zee asked, genuinely curious.
"Eight." He was still a little too loud when he spoke, even though he seemed like he was shy.
Bruce raised an eyebrow. He'd been practicing and he knew it wasn't as smooth as Alfred's but Oliver provided infinite possibilities to practice and it was still leaps and bounds better than a week ago. "Aren't you in the nine to eleven group?" he asked Zatanna.
"Yeah," she frowned. "Hartley, how'd you wind up in my group?"
He shrugged. "I skipped a grade and my mom kinda bullied them into putting me in by grade instead of age."
Oliver seemed to hum in understanding. Bruce just felt himself frown. Zatanna met his eye with a slight frown of her own. The moment passed though when one of the counselors started the quiet clap and everyone shut up and turned to pay attention.
~
Oliver was officially tired of camp by the last week of June. A racoon had gotten into their cabin the day before and went though literally all of their things. It didn't eat or destroy anything though, just wanted to make chaos by rubbing its tiny hands on everything apparently. Sherlock had to make another laundry run for them. Gambit had heard about it over the radio and claimed a golf cart just so she could come laugh at the mess before they managed to clean too much of it up, having been off on her break at the time. She left the cart for Sherlock before heading to her own cabin for the rest of her break, laughing the whole way. The other counselors in the unit made a fire for the boys while everyone else got ready for bed and they waited for their sheets and sleeping bags to be washed.
Unfortunately, Oliver had a whole two more months to go. He was officially less than pleased with his mother for this grand idea.
Luckily, Knox found him before the Final Campfire for those who were only there for the month. Taking long strides up the wide stone steps of the amphitheater to where he sat next to Bruce. Zatanna and her little friend Hartley on Bruce's other side. They all watched as the barn staffer made her way towards them, standing out in her jeans and tall muck boots while everyone else was wearing shorts. "Hey, Ollie!" she called as she approached, obviously not realizing that she already had everyone's full attention. "I just got back from the barn and I wanted to be the first to tell you that your ban has been lifted! You're allowed to come back starting Monday, since Bruce is leaving." Here she grimaced over at Bruce. "Sorry, but Bambi kind of decided you were the responsible party and Ollie just collateral damage. Very foolish collateral damage." She didn't bother to apologize for that one though as she turned to look back to him. "So Pancake will see you Monday? She's missed you."
Oliver nodded eagerly. "Yes. Absolutely. I'll talk to Sherlock about changing my schedule right after the campfire."
Knox nodded. "Sweet. Ok, I need to hit the showers. Bye all! I'll see you at breakfast tomorrow!"
They all said their goodbyes and Oliver couldn't stop smiling. Camp still sucked and the one person who made it interesting at least was leaving tomorrow, but at least Oliver's ban had been lifted. He could spend the rest of summer riding horses.
~
Bruce thought that he'd never been happier to see Alfred in his life. The man stood on the porch of the Health Center, talking with Doc when Artemis came to collect him from the dining hall where he'd been sitting on the steps, avoiding singing camp songs. The irony of Apollo taking him to the dining hall at the beginning of the month and Artemis leading him from it at the end was not lost on Bruce. Nor was it lost on Alfred by the sly grin he had when he saw who walked with Bruce. "Have a safe trip home!" Artemis said brightly before heading to Bugs, the camp director, and getting the name of the next camper she was to fetch.
"Well Bruce, I'm sorry that the circumstances weren't better but I'm glad I got to know you," she said and held out a hand that Bruce shook. "Maybe I'll see you next year? And if not, keep in touch. Mr. Pennyworth has my mailing address, maybe you can write me some of your famous letters."
Bruce smirked. "I will."
Doc laughed and the corners of Alfred's mouth twitched. "Shall we, Master Wayne?" he asked. "Your footlocker has already been loaded and you have officially been checked out."
Nodding, Bruce eagerly turned to go search the field for the car. He thought to look back once and wave to Doc, but then he was off and moving. He closed the door hard after he climbed in. Alfred started the car but didn't shift into gear. They just sat there in silence as the vents slowly began to push out cold air.
Finally, Alfred asked what he wanted to. "How was camp?"
"Never again, Alfred. Never. Again."
"That bad?"
"Didn't you get my letters?"
Alfred finally pulled out of the field and started down the long drive towards the road. "I did. I had just assumed that you were exaggerating as is your penchant."
Bruce glared at him. "You were talking to Doc."
"And I realized that you were not exaggerating."
"Never. Again."
"Yes, Master Bruce."
#dc comics#bruce wayne#oliver queen#alfred pennyworth#zatanna zatara#fanfiction#fanfic#my fic#own writing#writing#annataz#yes alfred
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Coconut oil benefits!
I love using coconut oil for so many different things. I have been using coconut oil since I was a little girl , growing up my mother would mix conditioner , olive oil and coconut oil and use it as a Leave in conditioner - to style my hair. She would also use coco butter and coconut oil on me and my siblings skin especially in the winter time. This contributed to my love for coconut oil and its why I always have a jar of it lying around somewhere.
Makeup Remover.
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Shaving.
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Exfoliator.
You can use can coconut oil to make your own Exfoliator. Take half a cup of coconut oil half a cup of olive oil and some raw sugar and mix it together and use it in the shower and exfoliate your body. Coconut oil is good for keeping moisture in and healing wounds which makes it perfect for exfoliating.
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The fatty acids in coconut oil can encourage your body to burn fat, and they provide quick energy to your body and brain. They also raise HDL cholesterol in your blood, which may help reduce heart disease risk. I like to take a table spoon of it in the morning on an empty stomach or mix it into my green tea at night.
Eyelash And Eyebrow Treatment.
I like to use coconut oil to help grow out my eyebrows and my eyelashes. Just mix half Mix coconut oil and half Jamaican black castor oil in a small jar together and put on your eyelashes and eyebrows every night. In about a month You’ll see you then grow and you’ll see them be thicker and fuller.
Hair.
Coconut oil stimulates hair growth. Coconut oil is a natural way to help your hair grow longer, thicker, and faster. The vitamins and essential fatty acids naturally found in coconut oil nourish the scalp and help to remove sebum build-up from hair follicles. Coconut oil promotes scalp health fighting against such problems as insect bites, lice and dandruff. Coconut oil moisturizes dry hair and adds luster, shine and softness to the hair. Coconut oil also prevents hair breakage and split ends, contributing to hair length.
I hope this is a good guide for you guys. With All the benefits of coconut oil you should all get a jar and see the benefits for yourselves. I highly recommend that you get the raw organic virgin coconut oil out of the cooking section of your local grocery store for the best results.
Till next time X’s and O’s🤍
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BEANSONBREAD AWARDS 2020 - BEST SONG
AWARD NO.3 - BEST SONG OF 2020
PAST WINNERS
2019 > Weyes Blood ‘Andromeda’ (see full list HERE)
2018 > Let’s Eat Grandma ‘It’s Not Just Me’ (see full list HERE)
2017 > Richard Dawson ‘Ogre’ (see full list HERE)
2016 > Solange ‘Cranes In the Sky’ (see full list HERE)
2015 > Kendrick Lamar ‘The Blacker The Berry’ (see full list HERE)
2014 > FKA Twigs ‘Two Weeks’ (see full list HERE)
2013 > Oliver Wilde ‘Perrett’s Brook’ (see full list HERE)
2010 > Untold ‘Stop What You’re Doing (James Blake Remix) (see full list HERE)
2009 > Joker - ‘Digidesign’ (see full list HERE)
2008 > Lil’ Wayne - ‘A Milli’ (see full list HERE)
2007 > Panda Bear - ‘Bros’ (see full list HERE)
2006 > Hot Chip - ‘Over And Over’ (see full list HERE)
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RULES - A maximum of THREE tracks from any one artist. Songs can be tied in the same position.
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*SPOTIFY PLAYLIST WITH (ALMOST) ALL THE TRACKS*
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THE RUNNERS UP (in alphabetical order)..
100 Gecs, Count Baldor, GFOTY ‘Stupid Horse (remix)’
645AR ‘Bible And A K’
A.G. Cook ‘Silver’
Alabaster DePlume ‘Whisky Story Time’
Amaarae ‘Hellz Angel’
Arca ‘Time’
Arlo Parks ‘Black Dog’
Ashnikko ‘Daisy’
Blackpink & Selena Gomez ‘Ice Cream’
Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion ‘WAP’
Caribou ‘New Jade’ / ‘Home’
CHAI ‘No More Cake’
Chloe x Halle ‘Do It’
Clipping ‘96 Neve Campbell’
Cornershop ‘St Marie Under Canon’ / ‘No Rock Save In Roll’
Crack Cloud ‘Favour Your Fortune’
Dan Deacon ‘Become A Mountain’ / ‘Sat By A Tree’
Darkstar ‘Jam’
Dean Blunt, Joanne Robertson, Vegyn ‘Troll’
Deerhoof ‘Future Teenage Cave Artists’ / ‘Sympathy For The Baby Boo’
Dirty Projectors ‘Overlord’
DJ Douggpound ‘Creamed Popcorn On The Cob’
Dorian Electra ‘Sorry Bro (I Love You)’
Doves ‘Prisoners’
Dry Cleaning ‘Scratchcard Lanyard’
Dua Lipa ‘Hallucinate’
Fenne Lily ‘Alapathy’ / ‘Solipsism’
Fiona Apple ‘Shameika’
FLOHIO ‘Unveiled’
Gerard Black, Rozi Plain, Jamie Whitby-Coles 'Beiggy'
Giant Swan ‘Silkworm’
Good Sad Happy Bad ‘Blessed’ / ‘Star’
The Go! Team ‘Cookie Scene’
Grimes ‘Delete Forever’
Gupi & Fraxiom ‘Thos Moser’
HAIM ‘The Steps’
Happy Spendy ‘Feelings 2’
Hen Ogledd ‘Trouble’
Hot Chip ‘Worlds Within Worlds’
Janelle Monae ‘Turntables’
Jane Weaver ‘The Revolution Of Super Visions’
Jay Electronica ‘Ghost Of Soulja Slim’ / ‘Shiny Suit Theory’
Jessy Lanza ‘Anyone Around’ / ‘Lick In Heaven’
Jpegmafia ‘Bald!’
Kayla Painter ‘Prey At Night’
Kelly Lee Owens ‘Arpeggi’ / ‘Melt!’
King Creosote ‘Susie Mullen’
King Krule ‘Stoned Again’
Lambchop ‘Reservations’
Laura Marling ‘Strange Girl’
The Lemon Twigs ‘The One’
LICE ‘Conveyor’ & ‘Arbiter’
Lil B ‘I’m Kanye’
Lil Uzi Vert ‘POP’
Little Simz ‘Might Bang, Might Not’
Magdalena Bay ‘Story’
Marie Davidson & L’Œil Nu ‘Renegade Breakdown’
Michael ‘Sole Trader’
Mogwai ‘Dry Fantasy’
Moses Sumney ‘Virile’
Mumble Tide ‘Love Thing’
Nadine Shah ‘Club Cougar’
Noname ‘Song 33’
The Orielles ‘Space Samba (Disco Volador Theme)’
Oro Swimming Hour ‘Cold Tangerina’ / ‘Crocodile’
Park Hye Jin ‘Like This’
Pa Salieu ‘Betty’
Paula, Povoa, Jerge ‘Primavera’
Pet Shimmers ‘Thawed Out Plainclothes Demon’ / ‘Snake Eats A Lady’
Phoebe Bridgers ‘Garden Song’
Pictish Trail ’Bad Algebra’
Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs ‘Reducer’ / ‘Rubbernecker’
Planet 1999 ‘Replay’
Planningtorock ‘Jam Fam - Chanel Show Version’
Poppy ‘Fill The Crown’
Pottery ‘Texas Drums Pt. I & II’
Pozi ‘Whitewashing’
Princess Nokia ‘Green Eggs & Ham’
Remi Wolf ‘Woo!’ / ‘Photo I.D’
Rico Nasty ‘IPHONE’
RMR ‘Rascal’
Run The Jewels ‘Yankee And The Brave (ep.4)’
SAULT ‘Stop Dem’ / ‘Wildfires’
Scalping ‘Deadlock’
Sega Bodega ‘Salv Goes To Hollywood’
Sleaford Mods ‘Mork n Mindy’
Soccer Mommy ‘Bloodstream’ / ‘Crawling In My Skin’
Spectres ‘Tanning The Albatross’ / ‘On Nepotism’
Sufjan Stevens ‘Video Game’
SZA (feat. Ty Dolla $ign) ‘Hit Different’
This Is The Kit ‘Coming To Get You Nowhere’ / ‘This Is What You Did’
Thundercat ‘Black Qualls’
Tierra Whack ‘Peppers and Onions’ & ‘Dora’
Tim Heidecker ‘Come Away With Me’
Tkay Maidza ‘Shook’ / ‘Grasshopper’
Urkt ‘Rich Now’ / ‘Sour’
Warm Digits (feat. Rozi Plain) ‘Everyone Nervous’
Wasuremono ‘Big Big Smiles’
The Weeknd ‘Blinding Lights’
Wesley Gonzalez ‘Wind Your Neck In’
Wharfwhit ‘Bangers’
Willie J Healey ‘Fashun’
Working Men’s Club ‘White Rooms And People’ / ‘Valleys’
Yard Act ‘Fixer Upper’ / ‘Peanuts’
Yves Tumor ‘Kerosene!’
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THE TOP 70 SONGS OF 2020
70. Black Midi ‘Sweater’
69. 645AR ‘Sum Bout U (feat. FKA Twigs)’
68. King Krule ‘Alone, Omen 3’
67. Savage Mansion ‘Weird Country’
66. Pet Shimmers ‘Madonna’s People’
65. Daniel Blumberg ‘Teethgritter’
64. Katy J Pearson ‘Take Back The Radio’
63. A.G. Cook ‘Oh Yeah’
62. Kelly Lee Owens (feat. John Cale) ‘Corner Of My Sky’
61. Moses Sumney ‘Me In 20 Years’
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60. Alexia Avina ‘Fit Into’
59. Kero Kero Bonito ‘Fortune Teller’
58. The Avalanches feat. Blood Orange ‘We Will Always Love You’
57. Yaeji ‘Waking Up Down’
56. Black Country, New Road ‘Science Fair’
55. These New Puritans ‘The Mirage’
54. Clementine March ‘Le Continent’
53. Shygirl ‘Freak’ / ‘Leng’
52. Ed Dowie ‘Robot Joy Army’
51. Pa Salieu (feat. Mahalia) ‘Energy’
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50. Office Hours (Tim Heidecker, Fred Armisen & Daniel Cupps) ‘Brick By Brick’
49. Gorillaz (feat. Peter Hook & Georgia) ‘Aries’
48. Amaarae ‘Fancy’
47. Alabaster DePlume ‘Visit Croatia’
46. Pictish Trail ‘Fear Anchor’
45. Yves Tumor ‘Gospel For A New Century’
44. Dean Blunt ‘As Long As Ropes Unravel Fake Rolex Will Travel’
43. Oneohtrix Point Never ‘I Don’t Love Me Anymore’
42. Thundercat ‘Dragonball Durag’
41. Kero Kero Bonito ‘It’s Bugsnax!’
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40. Perfume Genius ‘On The Floor’
39. Dua Lipa ‘Levitating’
38. Rina Sawayama ‘Comme Des Garcons (Like The Boys)’
37. Pozi ‘The Nightmare’
36. Jockstrap ‘Acid VAPOURWAVE rap RMX’
35. Magdalena Bay ‘Airplane’
34. Arca & Rosalia ‘KLK’
33. Squid ‘Sludge’
32. 100 Gecs feat. Charli XCX, Kero Kero Bonito, Rico Nasty ‘Ringtone (Remix)’
31. Bonnie Prince Billy ‘In Good Faith’
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30. Good Sad Happy Bad ‘Shades’
29. Charli XCX ‘Claws’ / ‘Forever’
28. Bill Callahan, Bonnie Prince Billy, Dead Rider ‘Our Anniversary’
27. Pictish Trail ‘Lead Balloon’
26. Jockstrap ‘The City’
25. Oneohtrix Point Never ‘Auto & Allo’
24. Katy J Pearson ‘Hey You’
23. Self Esteem ‘Favourite Problem (Alternative version)’
22. Tim Heidecker ‘Nothing’
21. SAULT ‘Free’
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20. Moses Sumney ‘Cut Me’
19. Shygirl ‘Slime’
18. Charli XCX ‘7 Years’
17. Rina Sawayama ‘XS’
16. The Flaming Lips ‘Flowers Of Neptune 6’
15. Wesley Gonzalez ‘Change’
14. Perfume Genius ‘Describe’
13. Dorian Electra (feat. Village People & Pussy Riot) ‘My Agenda’
12. Crack Cloud ‘Ouster Stew’
11. The Flaming Lips ‘Will You Return/When You Come Down’
10. Dorian Electra ‘Gentleman’
9. Tim Heidecker ‘Property’
8. Tara Clerkin Trio ‘In The Room’
7. Planet 1999 ‘Party’
6. Phoebe Bridgers ‘Kyoto’
5. Laura Marling ‘Held Down’
4. Crack Cloud ‘Post Truth’
3. The Flaming Lips ‘At The Movies On Quaaludes’
2. Oneohtrix Point Never ‘Long Road Home’
1. Jockstrap ‘Acid’
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Vet Update
The boys have all been treated with Revolution (a rat dose of course)! She said it should “last” about a month, so hopefully that works. I’m not sure how long it takes to notice a difference but I’m hoping soon, just because Shyguy and Goomba have been especially itchy and Frodo doesn’t need that bull on top of being a sickly old man.
While we were there she looked at Shyguy’s arm, and she’s kind of worried about it; he’s not using it at all, and really holding it close to himself. However if it was broken, I would assume it would have been swollen/bruised/red at some point? And it never has been. We have some anti-inflammatory/pain medication to try for 4 days, but if it doesn’t resolve I’m going to have to take him in to be sedated for an X-ray :( so I am keeping my fingers crossed that he recovers with his meds!! Also his teeth are very long and growing apart from one another, and obviously he hasn’t had an issue thus far but she suggested a bit of teeth trimming if we do have to sedate him.
She also listened to Frodo’s lungs while we were there and she said he sounds better than last time! Every day is a blessing with this dude, he is such a trooper. He had an episode this morning but I stayed calm and got him his meds, and then he was able to rest and was feeling better within the hour! At the vet he was constantly eating the veggies and treats I put into their carrier, and he even was trying to explore the exam table, which surprised me as he used to be super shy. He’s doing well on a low dose of Lasix, which makes me feel good because if the day comes where the meds aren’t working well, I can up the dose safely in an emergency.
Anyway thank you everyone for your suggestions on the lice! It’s definitely not mites since we can see them, and my vet didn’t identify exactly what they were but from pictures and research I’m pretty sure it’s rat lice. I will definitely freeze the wooden toys tonight and clean the cage again tomorrow, and I’m going to clean my room a bit today just in case! Maybe I can even do an olive oil bath for Shyguy and Goomba if the fleas are still pretty present in a week - I just don’t want to subject poor Frodo to a bath in his state lol. But Shyguy definitely has the worst case so it wouldn’t hurt him or Goomba!
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Survey #167
“everything he sees is just blue like him, inside and outside.”
Did the house you grew up in have a big yard? It was fairly decent. Have you ever worked over 50 hours in one week? No. What has been the most difficult class you’ve ever taken? Latin. Do you think teenagers should focus more on their education rather than on relationships? Well, yeah. I mean that as in you should pursue knowledge more than love, but it can of course happen and should be taken seriously. What’s your opinion on couples ‘staying together for the kids?’ Awful idea. Your children don't need to grow up on the sidelines of a dead relationship. It can give them such negative expectations. Did any of the classes you took in high school count towards uni credit? No. Do you think being born was a mistake? No. Have you ever been arrested? No. Has a relative ever been arrested? Don't believe so. Do you think the Fountain of Youth exists? No. How about in a parallel dimension? Maybe, idk. Do you believe humans are part of a giant alien experiment? Not necessarily aliens, but I'm *open* to the possibility that we're just a simulation of a future civilization to learn how their ancestors lived, like we're literally Sims. I lean towards that being false, but. There's astonishing evidence for the possibility we're not "real," though regardless, I stand by the "I think, therefore I am" quote, so I really don't care either way. Do you think your blood is sacred? Uh... no? Have you ever been suicidal? Yeah. Was it a passing phase or is it something controlled by medication? It was something corrected with the help of medication, LOTS of therapy, and a closure conversation with Jason. Do you hold any holiday special in your heart? Halloween and Christmas, particularly. Is there a holiday you wish no one celebrated? Which is it? Why do you feel that way? Eh, I don't feel like flipping through the list of holidays right now. What’s your favorite book? Why is that? Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo because it is a masterpiece of the needlessness for war, as well as The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton, though by this point I don't even recall most of the story... I just know I adored it. Who is your all-time favorite author? Don't have one. What do you like about them? N/A Who’s your favorite poet? Poe, of course. What’s your all-time favorite band? How about all-time fave singer? I have too many favorite bands. Singers, Freddie Mercury and Brendon Urie. Do you think most mythological creatures exist? No. Have you ever had lice? No. What brand of dish soap do you use? Uhhhh idk, I don't wanna go look lol. Do any of your neighbors have dogs? Idk. Growing up, did you listen to country music? Yup, believe it or not. Have you ever dated someone on the football team? No. Do you like tomatoes? I'm not a fan. I can enjoy fresh ones in a small amount in a sandwich/burger, but that's it. What’s your favorite brand of bottled water? Essentia. Do you have any ceramic animals in your house or outside? No. What brand of makeup do you wear? I don’t wear a specific brand. What type of waffles do you like? (Plain, blueberry etc..) Plain or chocolate chip, depending on mood. Do you brush your tongue? Holy shit brush your tongue, dude. What kind of laugh do you have? It's loud and obnoxious as hell. What kind of cell phone do you have? (ex. flip, slider, or traditional.) Touch screen. Have you ever gotten searched by the cops? No. Have you ever been enrolled in private school? No. Do you know how to grill a steak? No. Would you ever use an online dating service? No, was on one v briefly and it was. Very much not my thing. I felt like I was hunting for a relationship when I'm way more for it just finding you. Do you like Gushers? YES. Do you have a large dog? No, Teddy and Bentley are both medium-sized. If not, are you afraid of them? Not at all. I love big dogs. What is more annoying: A sore throat or a headache? Headaches. Have you ever sent an X-Rated picture to someone? No. Have you ever gone out of state for a concert? No. When is the last time you went on a date? March. ;____; Do your parents know that/if you smoke? I don't. What is your favorite board game from your childhood? I hated shopping, so I haven't a clue how it was Mall Madness lmao. I also loved that carnival Cranium game, whatever it was. Have you ever gotten rid of something you shouldn’t have and then really regretted it later? Yeah, senior prom pics. There were some where I actually looked pretty fuck Do you beat yourself up when you make mistakes? Usually. Have you ever tried anything off the Starbucks secret menu? No. Do you have string lights in your bedroom? No, but I'd like them. What is your favorite flavor of tea? Tea is disgusting. Do you have an inspiration board? I have a Pinterest board of hair colors and styles I like. What is your favorite magnet on your fridge? Never paid attention to the ones we have. Do you like to sit in the grass? No. Are there popsicles in your freezer right now? Yeah, we got 'em for when I got my tongue pierced. Is there a lamp in your bedroom? No. Would you prefer eating jello or pudding? Pudding. After washing your hair, do you put any products in it? No. Have you ever crawled through a vent? No. Last time you rode a bike? Years ago. What is something you used to always do but don’t anymore? Uhhhh. Idk. Well actually, I used to always have soda like multiple times a day, but now I go some days without touching it. What is the last thing you broke and how did you break it? Idr. What is the best thing you have received when trick or treating? Reese's, ha ha. What is the worst thing you have received when trick or treating? I hate(d) tootsie rolls. What word do you hate the absolute most? Probably "the 'n' word" or the derogatory term for gays... idk. How many seasons is your favorite TV show in so far? Eight for That '70s Show, but both FMAs don't have seasons. Do you remember getting sung to when you were little? No. Have you ever felt a temperature below 0? No. When was the last time you had blood drawn? Couple days back for more tests. What color eyes does/did your father have? Brown. What do you daydream most about? The future. What names do you like? Alessandra, Damien, Josephine, Luther, Chloe, Evelyn, Evangeline, Vincent, Victor... At what age do you want to start working or at what age did you start? My first job was when I was about 19, I think. Where’s the best place to eat a romantic dinner? Olive Garden omlllllll. Who was the last person to piss you off? I don't know about pissed. Probably Mom. Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you didn’t say it back? Yeah. What’s your favorite hairstyle on the opposite sex? I like scene/emo hair too much fuck Has anyone ever played a prank on you? What happened? Probably. Which parent are you more similar to? Idk. I'm a pretty even mix of them both. Do you have a lot of self-discipline? Eh, depends. Have you ever been to another country’s capital city? No. What are some of your favorite qualities for another person to have? Compassion, kindness, an open mind, considerate, creative, difficult to anger, understanding... What smell reminds you of your childhood? Chlorine, gingerbread, rain in the air... Have you ever dated someone who had a child from a previous relationship? No, and I wouldn't. When was the last time you spoke to the first person you ever kissed? Second week of February '17. What’s a political issue you have a strong opinion on? Gay rights. Stopping that "oh if (s)he was raped ten years ago, why come out now?" bullshit that's been popular lately. What was the last fruit or vegetable you chopped/sliced up? Romaine lettuce for Kaiju. When you take a nap, do you nap in bed or on the couch? My bed. Have you ever done a Mason jar craft? No, but most of those that I see are so cute. What are you going to be for Halloween this year? Idk if I'm even dressing up. Do you decorate your front door for holidays? Mom puts up a wreath. What are all the costumes you remember wearing for past Halloweens? I literally remember none. Who is your favorite photographer? Check out mothmeister on Instagram. Cool as fuck. Don't know who takes the pictures exactly, but. Jovana Rikalo/thefirebomb on deviantART is also incredible. Were you shy in high school? Not very. Do you wish karma were real, or are you glad that it isn’t? I wish it was. What was your favorite Nick Jr. show? Rugrats. What school subjects are/were you the best at? English and science. What comes naturally to you? Spelling, usually. Bonding with animals. Do you prefer to call life a journey, a battle, a dance, or an adventure? Journey. Do you believe in the power of dreamcatchers or do you just like them as a decoration? They're just pretty decor to me. Who are the cutest babies in your Facebook newsfeed? I have two friends with young babies and neither are cute tbh. One's face looks like a grown man's with elephant ears, while the girl is just like, a month old, and I almost never find babies that young cute. What were your favorite mall stores when you were in high school? HotTopic. What time of day do you normally feel the most awake and alert? A while after I wake up. Have you ever searched for your house on Google Earth? Yeah. How old do you look? I guess my age? Do you like movie nights? Only if it's with someone. What would be number one on your bucket list? Pet a wild (well, habituated) meerkat. How old do you think you’ll be when you make your will? *shrugs* where is the fanciest place you have ever visited? Idk. Do you wear earrings on a normal basis? Ugh, I wish. Two reasons I don't. 1.) My first holes are stretched badly from wearing heavy earrings to much. Put one in the left especially and it almost looks like it's not even attached to my ear. Looks gross. 2.) I'm allergic to silver and like all my earrings are silver. Are your ears pierced more than once, if at all? Yeah. If you wear skirts, are you more likely to wear leggings, or go bare? If I was to wear them, I'd probably wear leggings. Ever stayed up all night on the phone? Jason and I did that (or almost did?) once early in our relationship. If you could move somewhere else, would you? Uh yeah. The one and only reason I won't move too far is because I'm unwilling to leave my psychiatrist; he's one of the biggest reasons I recovered and also gives me free samples of the medicine that saved my damn life, which costs over $1,000. No exaggeration. He knows that's absolutely outrageous. So it's like if I moved somewhere else, would my new psychiatrist do the same? Did the last guy/girl you kissed have any piercings? No. Do you actually love your parents? Yes. Have you ever had a school picture turn out absolutely dreadful? Like, all of them. I look high when I smile. What is the name of the last band you discovered? That I actually got into, Powerwolf. What happened last time you got drunk? Never been drunk, but on the occasion I got the closest, I was more outgoing and giggly. Do you know anyone autistic? I don't believe so. How about someone bipolar? Me. What do you want your job to be when you’re older? A photographer and also an out-on-the-field zoologist. I could bring my camera out with me, combine the two. Have you ever made your parents cry? Mom on sadly multiple occasions, and I could hear that Dad was tearing up when I called him wanting to make up. Do you always lock your door? Not my room door, but the front and back door pretty much always are. If I'm home alone, without a doubt. Have you ever been to Hooters? No. Do you snore in your sleep? No. Do you have a brother? What’s his name? A half-brother, Robert/Bobby. Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries? Year ones, yes. Have you ever driven without a license? I don't have mine yet, but I don't believe I've ever done so without my permit. What was your very first pet like? I'm pretty sure my first personal one was a long-haired guinea pig named Squeak. He was a total sweetie that loved attention and would do one of those high-pitched, four squeaks back at me if I did it lol. What kind of an old person do you think you’ll become? I hope I become a wise, more loving than ever, content person that does all she can for humanity and doesn't isolate like I do so much. I want to be out there with people, making memories and always maintaining a young heart. Which well-known person’s death shocked you the most, if any? Steve Irwin's above anyone else, but Chester Bennington was a close second. What’s the craziest color you’d dye your hair? I seriously want to bleach my hair to snow white and have it fade to a blood-red tip, but that'd probably destroy my hair. What’s the coolest hobby one of your friends has? Hm. I'm not sure. What’s the silliest thing you’ve believed, that turned out to be untrue? LOOK I stg I learned in school that thunder was clouds rubbing against each other and I only learned the truth THIS YEAR. Have you ever pet a cow, a sheep or a pig? A pig. Who’s the last person to make you laugh? GameGrumps. Ever been in a race? No. Favorite brand of color pencils? Crayola, I'm a basic bitch. Do you like the smell of peppermint? Omgggggggg yes. How many pieces did the last puzzle you completed have? Idr, maybe 150? It was at the hospital with my peers. In the end we were missing exactly o n e piece. What is missing from your wardrobe that you need to buy? I want a studded leather jacket pls I've wanted one since high school. When was the last time you witnessed a sunshower? A month back, maybe? Maybe sooner? Who was the last person to kiss your cheek? Mom, I believe. What temperature do you consider “too cold” to be outside? Comfortably, 40 F. Did anything bad happen to you in September? My knees became quite a problem. Had some rough streaks of depression. In your phone’s contacts, who is the first person listed under the letter ‘R’? When did you last see that person? No one under "r." If someone is sticking their nose into your business where it isn’t wanted, how would you deal with that? Would you say something to them? I'd like to think I'd say something. When your last relationship ended, how long was it before you felt ready to think about being with someone else? I realized I wanted to be with Sara while I was with him. It was one of the reasons I broke up with him. Think about your Facebook profile photo. What kind of assumptions do you think a stranger might make about you, from seeing that photograph? Would any of these assumptions be correct? (It's the same picture as here.) I obviously like a darker style, and it'd also be an understandable assumption I'm a bitch by my expression lmao. That one's not true, I hope. If you aren’t an only child, do you wish you were? Noooo. What is your birth order? I'm the middle child between my immediate siblings. What is your eye color? What would you want it to be? Blue/green/gray. I wish they were more sapphire. Do you like Victoria’s Secret, or PINK? I like their bras and undies, super cute, but other products, nah. What color highlighter do you prefer? Pink. What is the wallpaper on your best friends cell phone? Dunno. Do you like using big words when you talk? Don't hate it, but I avoid it when I can with most people. I wanna make sure they understand what I'm saying, no need to make it all fancy. What’s your favorite thing to do in the summer? Stay the fuck inside and wish it was fall. Eh, swimming. Do you like being tickled? NO. Are you loud when you’re having sex? I'd always try to be quiet even when home alone because I was worried about someone coming home and us not hearing or something. But it took effort to keep quiet sometimes, and even then I was a moaner. Are you a very open or private person? Depends on who I'm with and whether it's on or offline, but generally, private. What is your favorite Christmas movie? Jim Carrey's How the Grinch Stole Christmas. What do you get complimented on the most? My hair. When was the last time you were in a public setting and a stranger annoyed you? I'm not sure. Scariest storm you’ve ever had in your town? Um idk. Skill you wish you had? Drawing exactly what I see in my head ugh. How do you feel about raising minimum wage? FUCK-ING DO IT. NC's is $7.25 an hour, and you can't live off that shit. Humor me. What physical ideal do you imagine in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? It really doesn't matter to me, but I'd say I'm more quickly attracted to people with a dark style. What type of personality traits do you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? Calm, open-minded, friendly, I like a bit more outgoing than me, compassionate, very passionate like myself, artistic, considerate... Any other essential quirks/interests/other you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? The only thing I can think of as essential are some common interests to bond over. I don't think I could date someone totally different from me. Or someone heavily religious. Any romantic gestures you really like? Small, simple efforts just for the purpose of showing you care, more than anything. I appreciate the cliche of opening doors. What were you like when you were a kid? Outgoing, talkative as hell, pretty odd, big time creative. What is your definition of cheating? Flirting in a clearly non-joking manner. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? Both since the 6th grade. Are looks important in a relationship? For me personally, no, but I don't shame people who feel it's at least a smaller factor for them. Sure, it'd be more difficult to be more sexually attracted to you, but not romantically, which is what I care about. What were you doing right before you started this survey? Another survey. I combine them into longer ones. Ever get mad at something that happened years ago? Rarely, and if ever, briefly. What do you order on your pizza? Jalapenos. I miss meat lovers. What the kind of soda you drink most often? Mountain Dew Voltage. Do you freak out if a bee/wasp flies near you? Wasp, I'm fuckin' outie. I'm uncomfortable with any bee, but won't spaz over most. If Facebook started making you pay, would you still use it? No. If you were dying and had to tell the last person you texted one thing, what would it be? Lmao we actually had a convo about this once, and it'd totally be, "I love you, and I'll see you on the other side." If you could have sex to one song, what song would it be? We playin' "Death of a Bachelor" by P!atD on our wedding night 100% 100% 100% 100%. Are you a forgiving person? Too forgiving. Who is the last person you told you loved them? Sara Jaaaane. <3 Do you have a specific gas station you usually go to? Or do you stop wherever? Mom tends to go to Sheetz or Shell. She gets bad mileage at Sheetz, but it's super close to our house. Do you have a place you go to a lot that you may be considered “a regular” at? The people at New Addiction (tat and piercing parlor I go to) are starting to recognize me lmao. I'll be there tonight again. Think of the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a bed? Yeah. Do you like your girlfriend's/boyfriend's parents? YEAH. Why aren’t you with the person you first fell in love with? He couldn't stand my depression anymore. What’s worse, knowing you still love them, or pretending you hate them? THE FORMER. Do you own any television series box sets? All seasons of Meerkat Manor. What is your favorite band of all time? Ozzy Osbourne. Would you consider getting a tattoo any time soon? I'm getting one T O N I G H T B O Y S. Do you like candles? Yeah, but I prefer incense. Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness? More like seven lmao. And I'm 99% sure I have ADD, but I haven't been officially diagnosed. If you had to choose to have a different accent than the one you have now, what accent would you choose and why? British, 'cuz I love it. Have you ever or do you currently live in a Gated Community? No. Do you know how to use a DSLR camera? Yeah. Do you know anyone who is named after a state? Jason's mom. Miss that woman, she sincerely cared for me. I owe her so much for staying on the phone with me for legit like two hours a couple nights before my attempt. It was dead in the middle of the night, yet she was happy to be there. Have you ever had a “bad trip”? If yes, what happened? N/A. Do you enjoy learning about conspiracy theories? Y E S. Shane Dawson got me so into them omg. If you had a baby boy, what would you name him? Damien Alexander, maybe.
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Comb-To-Toe Checkup for Chicken Ailments
Can you recognize chicken ailments before it’s too late? Performing regular checkups can identify and ward off problems before they become worse.
Spending time with your flock on a regular basis apart from the regular feeding and cleaning is a good habit to get into. Take some time to really observe them, so you know what’s “normal” behavior and what’s not. That way you can immediately spot changes in appearance or behavior. The faster you identify a chicken ailment and treat it, the better. Chickens, being the ultimate prey animal, are masters at hiding symptoms and often by the time you notice something is wrong, it’s too late.
Every few weeks, take the time to pick up each chicken one by one and give it a good once-over. Look for anything out of the ordinary. Also judge how your bird is acting – calm and content or ruffled, uneasy or even possibly in pain.
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A thorough “comb-to-toe” chicken ailment checkup can help nip any potential problems in the bud before they become real problems. This will greatly enhance not only the health and happiness of your chickens but also maximize their productivity and life span.
So what exactly are you looking for in a comb-to-toe chicken ailment check up?
Comb
You should see a nice rosy comb with no black spots, which may indicate frostbite in the cold weather or the more serious fowl pox which is transmitted by mosquitoes in warm months. There is no treatment for fowl pox but the affected bird should be separated, kept warm and given extra nutrients. Black spots whether caused by frostbite or fowl pox should be covered with Green Goo (an herbal salve made by Sierra Sage Herbs) to prevent further damage and aid healing.
A purplish-colored comb can indicate chicken ailments like respiratory or breathing problems or can indicate a stroke or heart attack, with not enough oxygen getting to the extremities. A vet should be consulted immediately if possible. A pale comb can be a precursor to heat exhaustion or can also just mean your hen has just laid an egg. The act of laying draws all the blood out of the comb and wattles and to the vent area.
Eyes
You are looking for bright, clear eyes. If you notice excessive blinking, it could just mean there is dust or a particle in the eye and a twice daily flush with regular saline solution for a day or so should take care of it.
Cloudy eyes, watery eyes and beak or rubbing of the eyes can also mean conjunctivitis which can result from a build-up of ammonia in the bedding. Again, flush the eyes with saline and change out all the bedding in your coop.
Wheezing, watery eyes and nose, sneezing or coughing can be signs of respiratory illness to which chickens are extremely susceptible. The American Poultry Association has a great cheat sheet to some of the more common chicken ailments with symptoms, causes, and treatment.
Swollen, pus-filled or watery eyes, or eyelids that are stuck together can be signs of eye worm. Sometimes the worms are even visible under the lids, swimming around. (Sparing you all the gross details, it’s basically a worm contracted from cockroaches.) Your chicken will begin to scratch at its eye with the tip of its wing and could literally scratch her eyeball out. Eye worm treatment is easy with VetRx, a natural menthol-based product that treats eye worm as well as other respiratory issues.
Crop
As chickens eat throughout the day, they store what they eat in their crop or gizzard. Each morning, a chicken’s crop should be empty; if it’s not, you might have a chicken ailment. If the crop feels hard and distended or full and mushy, you may have a case of sour crop or an impacted crop. Immediate treatment is necessary which might include administering olive oil or massaging the lump.
Breast/Abdomen
You should be able to feel the hen’s breastbone, but it should not protrude. This is a good check of overall health and weight. A featherless breast can mean that you have a broody hen who is plucking out feathers to literally “feather her nest.” An underweight hen might be suffering from worms, so a fecal test by your vet might be a good idea.
Wings
Check under the wings for chicken ailments like mites, lice or ticks. If you do see any parasites, a soak in a tub of warm water, salt, white vinegar, and dish detergent followed by a good dusting of food-grade diatomaceous earth is in order. Adding fresh garlic or garlic powder to your hen’s diet is thought to help make their bloodless palatable to parasites. You can also spray the areas where you see the mites with a 10% garlic juice/water mixture.
Also check for raw skin under the wings, since an over-zealous rooster will often do damage, as will pecking order issues, and the areas under the wings are generally hidden from view. Any raw areas should be treated with Green Goo to help them heal and then covered with a hen saddle or the hen separated until she’s healed.
Vent
The vent should look pink and moist. A dry, pale vent indicates a non-laying hen. Any accumulated poop should be removed with some warm water–or trimmed in extreme cases. Adding probiotic powder to the feed can help alleviate future accumulations of feces.
A Quick Chicken Poop Reference Guide
(Please remember there is a wide range of normal.)
Droppings with blood could be coccidiosis.
Greenish droppings might be worms (or the chicken has eaten a lot of greens, weed, grass or vegetables).
White, milky runny droppings could indicate chicken ailments like worms, coccidiosis, infectious disease.
Brown runny droppings usually signals an E. coli infection.
Clear or watery runny droppings could mean stress, infectious bronchitis or more than normal water intake due to heat.
Yellow and foamy droppings could be coccidiosis.
Grayish white and running continuously indicates Vent Gleet (a chronic disease of the cloaca of domestic birds).
Bloody stool and ruffled feathers can signal coccidia, a serious parasitic disease of the intestine, which can be treated with amprolium/antibiotics or a holistic remedy called Kocci Free. Recent studies show that probiotics, green tea and plum powder can help combat coccidiosis as well.
Internal parasites (worms) can often be seen in the stool. If you suspect worms, have your vet do a fecal test and if an overload is confirmed, Verm-X, a natural worming product can help.
Do a quick check for external chicken parasites as well in the vent area. If you do see any parasites on any of your chickens, it is imperative to do a thorough coop cleaning and dust the coop floor, roosts and nesting boxes with food-grade diatomaceous earth before adding new bedding.
Legs/Feet
Legs should be smooth and shiny. Flaking or raised scales can mean scaly leg mites. Treatment includes dousing the legs with white vinegar, garlic juice or neem oil, scrubbing them with an old toothbrush and then slathering on some coconut oil or Green Goo.
Any hen limping should be examined further for chicken foot problems. Puffy or warm foot pads can mean a splinter in the bottom of the foot that will need to be removed with tweezers. If you don’t see a cut or other visible injury to the foot, is most likely due to a hard landing off a roost and will go away in a few days.
A black spot on the underside of the foot pad indicates a potentially fatal staph infection called bumblefoot that needs to be treated immediately, either with Vetericyn or home surgery.
Overall
A quick overall visual check for chicken ailments should also be done. Feathers should be glossy and unbroken. Broken, dull or missing feathers can signal a protein deficiency or that the hen is molting. In either case, added protein should be fed until you see the problem reverse. Good sources are scrambled eggs, mealworms, and meat scraps. Broken feathers can also be a sign that rodents are getting into your coop and chewing on your birds while they sleep. The coop should be examined and any spaces larger than 1″ should be covered up.
If you have a hen who is hunched over, inactive, weak, listless, coughing, sneezing or just looks extremely unhappy, it could be one of several serious infectious diseases and immediate treatment by a qualified vet should be sought. Go with your gut. You will know when something is seriously wrong.
Do you perform regular check-ups to identify chicken ailments?
For more tips and tricks to raising happy, healthy chickens, follow me on Facebook or my blog Fresh Eggs Daily.
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Comb-To-Toe Checkup for Chicken Ailments was originally posted by All About Chickens
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