#⁰⁰⁸ . buffy summers : musings .

[redhatmeg]

Well, people, it's time for "dumb crossover ideas nobody asked for"!

Buffy and co. go back in time and end up in Camelot where they meet Merlin.

Long story short, while they learn about how Camelot has strict magic ban and try to figure out how to return to Sunnydale, Merlin and Buffy bond over sharing an impossible destiny that ruins their social life. (Also Giles learns he comes from a Pendragon bloodline and he's kinda disturbed by our boy Uther).

Come to think of it, I wouldn't be surprised if this already exists somewhere on ff.net or AO3.

[yoursummerfrost]

i think you'll stay

I really don't know what to tell you. Twenty-two months ago I started writing a silly little coffee shop AU where Buffy was a long-suffering barista at Giles' coffee shop and Spike William was the dorky customer she ran illegal latte experiments on and who definitely didn't have any weird secret hobbies or anything. Then it turned out that this fic was cursed and/or prophetic and I stopped being able to write for a year and a half. But now I'm back and I finished the motherfucker. Welcome to the Bean Box, bitch.

—

Rating: E

Word Count: ~75k

Pairing(s): Spike/Buffy, Buffy & Dawn

Summary: 

Buffy says, "No, but see, the thing is that good things look a lot like good things until you find out they're bad things, and I am really just full-up on bad things forever, thanks. Only lukewarm things for Buffy."

"That's the spirit, B!" Faith claps Buffy hard on the back, spilling some of William's coffee onto her shoes. "Let ole Willy warm ya up."

"Extremely not what I meant," says Buffy.

AKA: The one where Buffy works at a coffee shop and William is her favorite customer.

Read here on AO3!

[angelique-of-the-volturi-guard]

So here’s the thing: I think a good chunk of the BTVS fandom thinks of Giles as a father figure to Buffy (of which I am one). But he discourages her from it, and I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that his trauma with his own father wasn’t healed. His representation of who fathers are supposed to be is already unhealthy, and he can see the absence of Hank in Buffy’s life is a void that needs to be filled in terms of guidance and wisdom. But he’s also very aware of what he’s capable of (i.e. Eyghon, what he did to Ben, etc.) and believes (as many abused children do) that he doesn’t fit the idyllic version of fatherhood that he might have wished for for himself. He isn’t particularly warm on first glance (though he can be), did a lot of terrible things in his life, doesn’t have a steady partner. He can anger and isn’t an infinite well of patience and forgiveness. He cannot conceptualize the idea that he’s the closest thing she has to an involved father figure in her life because that idea is terrifying. Because as a Watcher he can do his job fine but what the hell does he know about being a dad when his own was terrible to him? He doesn’t want her to get hurt by another father figure in her life, and especially not by him. Not because he doesn’t love her or care about her that way but because he feels he is deeply inadequate for the role.

Giles is already traumatized severely. He was attacked at the watcher academy at age 18 by a lorophage demon that killed several people as part of his training. Several watchers including his father had to stop the demon and save him before he died. He wasn’t much older than Buffy when he faced his own mortality, but being alive far longer than her, he faced far more death with little time to process it. His friend Deirdre who died when he was rebelling with dark magic. Not to mention that as a watcher he’s seen a ton of death by his job alone. Then you have Buffy’s first death and Jenny’s brutal death in season 2, not to mention the whole thing with Ethan being back and dragging up his past, then losing his job as a watcher, and a librarian by the end of Season 3.

By season 4 Giles is struggling. He has no employment, Buffy is growing less dependent on him, and he’s struggling to come to terms with what to do with his life. But as he’s trying to prepare to move on with his life, Buffy tells him she needs him and he stays because he loves and cares about her. But after Joyce’s death and her resurrection, he realizes that she’s relying on him so much that she’ll never move forward with him as a crutch. When he’s stepping back he doesn’t perceive this as an abandonment. He’s trying to give her a chance to figure it out on her own. And despite the fact that he is sad to go he knows he’s trying to do right by her. She perceives it as an abandonment and so do we, because why wouldn’t we? This is her show and her perspective. We’ve seen all the love they both have for one another and the respect. But this is a man who has lost so much already. Who has had no time to really process the fact that he has suffered egregiously. Who doesn’t really know a life outside of the job. Who has been shown to seek normalcy when he can.

Of course he loves Buffy like a daughter, and of course leaving her was incredibly hard. He’s been by her side for years. He’s not leaving her as she perceives, he wants her to grow. She can’t see it that way because of all of the trauma she’s gone through, and who could blame her? Getting ripped out of heaven must have been awful. For the life of me I’ve been trying to figure out why he left right after that (okay I know it was Tabula Rasa but close enough) and what I keep coming back to is the fact that he’s not just watching her fall apart- it’s everybody. Dawn is a Kleptomaniac, Willow is getting into the dark magic, Buffy is depressed and a shell of her former self, and Xander and Anya have their share of issues. He’s been the go to man for all of them for so long, and I don’t think his decision was driven as much by Buffy alone as it was by a feeling of burnout and pressure. He cannot carry all of this by himself but this is literally what he’s been doing the whole time.

This is a man who has tried to make up for his mistakes. He’s held himself accountable for his actions. And Buffy and her friends aren’t taking that accountability for their problems by that point. He told them at one point to think of him as an uncle because he can’t see himself as a father figure, but ultimately stepping away to take care of himself and allowing all of them to find their footing is very much akin to a dad stepping back from the lives of his kids to give them a chance to stand on their own. And they all end up rising to the occasion in the end like he believed they would. And despite that, he always shows up for Buffy when she needs him most.

He is a Dad to the lot of them (Buffy especially of course) in the ways that matter, but is completely blind to it because of his own thought distortions and trauma, and I think he gets penalized a lot for it in S6 & 7. And while I absolutely hated the way his arc was handled (he deserved a way better S6 & 7 in terms of his character development, finding his place in the world, and healing himself), I get why he saw things as he did. The early seasons are a better reflection of who he is on the whole as a person (esp seasons 2 & 4) but I get riled up when I hear people talking about him abandoning Buffy in later seasons when he’s literally in the midst of some of the worst trauma of his life. It’s not an accurate representation of what he was trying to do and I think he deserves more grace. He was trying to do what he thought was right, and it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love or care for Buffy or the rest of the Scoobies. But he is a whole person, who suffered massively, and deserved the same compassion that he gave those he cared about and didn’t get it back from the Scoobies and the fandom when he deserved it and needed it most.

Anyway just my two cents but this has been bugging me for a while.

[drvcxrys]

(¸.• ♛ → "hey, listen to me." the blonde says looking at angel. "i don't know what's going on here but i need you to help me with this, okay? if something happens to me in this chaos...promise me you will try to make me remember, whatever the means necessary." she needed him to promise her that, just in case.

random starter for @mischiefxmuses (angel)

[rainbowxfmuses]

//Now that I have Buffy I had to. I kind of want to make some kind of story when I get Spike and other characters in the future. Wil looks really short because I lost her stand, but it just looks like a cute forehead kiss.

[thechaosmuses]

Closed Starter for; Buffy Summers (@little-miss-buffy) TVD Muse; Malachai Silas Parker kai parker starter call

"So, you're the big bad vampire slayer I've heard oh so much about. You know I've gotta say you don't really seem as scary in person. Is that a usual thing or are your vampire killing powers feeling a little off today? Promise I won't judge, we've all had magical performance issues. It's completely and totally normal."

[jennycalendar]

my aunt (who kicked me out of her house during the pandemic pre-vaccine after i asked her to stop taking me on walks and getting me alone so she could grill me about traumatic stuff in my life at literally every opportunity) just sent me an email asking if i want to teach an art class for small children on a day that i absolutely am free and would be delighted to spend teaching art to little kids and i am absolutely NOT emailing her back (i haven’t talked to her since leaving her house two years ago) but i would just like it on the record that the notion of missing out on doing this is very upsetting to me

[musesinked]

“ I’m guessing I didn’t make myself clear enough whenever I told you, to stay the hell away from me. ”

[unsown]

still on my knees for someone to give me jack ... 🧎‍♀️

[blackdogswims]

I like Buffy quite a bit, but it's very much an outside-observer kind of like. I just can't empathize with some of her major character stuff. She's got all this angst about being the Chosen One, but like, how cool is superstrength though?? Having the power to literally stab and kill your demons? Amazing fun monster-fighting hobby? What's there to be mad about? She also has all these hot girl problems - and being not a girl, just cannot relate lmao. Problems that stem, I think, from her perception of what she ought to be, vs. what she actually is and wants. Like a kind of dysphoria that torments her, because she feels like she has to repress all these wants and needs to be acceptable and lovable and oh shit oh wait ok---

[the-rejected-princess]

---- Starter Call ;

❤️ this post to get a random length starter with Buffy Summers. :)

[drvcxrys]

(¸.• ♛ → "tatum, i'm so glad that i find you, are you holding up okay?" she asks now looking at her friend, it was good to see her okay but she needed to words of comfirmation. "let's get out of here, this is just getting worse by the second."

random starter for @mcrcki (tatum)

[rainbowxfmuses]

//Wanted to show some more gifts. I got Buffy, and Nandor, lol. They're both so cute, and I love Nandor's facial expression.

[mostardent1y]

OOF this one got a little kick to it

[thechaosmuses]

@little-miss-buffy commented for a one liner starter from Klaus Mikaelson

"I'm going to take that as a compliment."