#‹ * ﹕ death ‚ like any art ‚ can be plagiarized. / 007 . ›

[atl4ntxc]

—character(s), Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmo, Beelzebub, Belphegor, Diavolo, Barbatos, Solomon.

—genre, full on triggering angst.

—cw/tw, heavy description and signs of depression, very triggering! mentions of pills, mentions of suicide. (please dm or send an ask if i missed any!)

—notes, this is a bit too long, lol. very triggering! also, i'll be reblogging this with the taglist after i'm done editing it.

please do not plagiarize, copy, translate or repost on any platform/website without my consent.

how to be replaced 005

how to be replaced 007

You never liked Ella.

She was manipulative, selfish, and worse of all, she despises you. Ella was fairly a decent and nice person before arriving at Devildom. But after she arrived, she changed.

She required and demanded for attention from the brothers, and the people around you.

Eventually, majority of them slowly drifted away from your grasp, leaving your embrace. Your eyes lost its shine— your personality changed.

The ones that stayed had comforted you, they really tried. But never succeeded in the end.

You neglected your health, both mentally and physically. As time went on, you didn't even care about yourself anymore. You're always in a state of emptiness— where it seems like you're stuck in a black void with no light, no lead of escape.

Your own form of coping mechanism was pushing yourself in academics, trying to escape the painful reality and your awaited death.

You were never really good at anything, you were decent. You can cook, but you can't cook like Ella. You were the definition of 'a jack of all trades is a master of none'.

You don't cry yourself to sleep every night, depression isn't only about crying yourself to sleep and feeling sad— it's also about feeling like there's no pleasure or joy in life. For many with depression, it feels like there's no way out. Everything felt... hopeless, like there is no light at the end of a tunnel.

As much as you like being alone, nobody likes feeling lonely.

At times, you've had delusions or hallucinations. Or sometimes, both.

You used to enjoy art, but you have lost interest in it. Same as other activities that you had took interest in, you didn't even bat an eye at them when your depression hits.

You got irritated much more easily. Even at the slightest mistake, you would throw a tantrum (and regret it afterwards).

You felt like your energy was being drained slowly, even if you've had extra sleep.

But, you kept yourself awake for days, and even a week. Sleep deprivation were painfully visible as the eyebags under your eyes got heavier and darker each day.

Of course, you hid it with a little foundation. They were stupid enough to believe them, it made you laugh.

Looking at your own reflection was getting harder and harder. You could see each flaw on your face and body, and it made you angry.

Why can't you be perfect?

Why can't you be better?

Why are you like this?

Battling depression was getting harder everyday. You would often stare at the extra pills that slipped out of the orange bottle in your hand— though, you brushed it off. After swallowing the medications, you'd think, 'i missed an opportunity'.

They didn't understand what you were going through! They never did. You'd vent to them, but they'd say, "relatable", "same lol", "me too", "people have it worse" and more.

It's not fair. Why can't it be about you for once? 'Just let me be selfish for once'.

They will never understand you. Heck, they wouldn't even notice the fact that you are literally dying!

Satan was reading, his slender fingers gently flipping the pages of the newly-bought book. You kept talking, with a smile on your face, eyes shining slightly.

You stopped talking when Ella arrived and sat beside Satan, hugging his side. Satan looked by his side to see Ella smiling at him, her blue orbs shining brightly. "Satan! Let's go to the library together,"

"Sure, why not."

You slowly put your hands on your lap— the shine disappearing from your eyes, yet again. Staring blankly at them, you pressed your lips into a thin line. "Sorry, Mc. I have to go,"

He stood up, Ella still connected to his arm. Their figures slowly started to disappear as they walk away.

'You said something dumb again'.

You shook your head and lowered it down, eyes being half-lidded as you stared at your lap. The room was filled with silence as you kept your lips shut, an unexpressive face visible.

Sighing, you smiled to yourself, fixing your posture as you leaned back on the wheelchair.

'How much longer?'

'When is the urge going away?'

You lift your dominant hand up and stared at your palm, wondering what you did wrong in life.

It's because you didn't listen to us.

Your eyes went wide as you froze, your body refusing to move as you were in a state of shock.

We tried warning you.

Don't get too close— but you didn't listen...

The second voice sighed. You were still in a shocked state— it has been so long since you've heard of these voices. You kinda missed them.

As toxic as they can be, they kept you company, and occasionally, they would offer useful advice when you didn't know what to do.

You learned to accept their annoying presences, but sometimes, they make you want to bash your head againts a wall. Once they decide to talk, they never shut up.

"It wasn't my fault... they love me, so maybe that's why they did that," You spoke, eyes half-lidded as you stared at the creaking floor.

Oh do they? If they did love you, things shouldn't of ended up this way.

It's pitiful, really... seeing you crawl back to the ones who don't even love you..

You love others but can't even love yourself. How is that going to work?

Stop being an idiot and quit crawling back to them.

They made different points, yes— but all of them had one thing in common, they made you realize on how many times you have been giving them second chances, even though its crystal clear on how they wouldn't change.

Even if they did, they wouldn't change for you— they would change for Ella, give extreme effort.

It's always Ella.

That two-faced bitch.

TO BE CONTINUED . . .

[gauntlaet]

dropping  verse  tags  finally .

‹   * ﹕   the  girl  i  am  today .   the  woman  i  become  tomorrow .      /      001 .   ›

‹   * ﹕   what  a  young  girl  should  not  know .      /      002 .   ›

‹   * ﹕   a  savior  to  follow .      /      003 .   ›

‹   * ﹕   i  will  see  you  on  the  other  side  of  the  war .      /      004 .   ›

‹   * ﹕   the  aura  of  death  surrounds  you  both .      /      005 .   ›

‹   * ﹕   bite  the  hand  that  feeds .      /      006 .   ›

‹   * ﹕   death  ‚  like any art  ‚  can be plagiarized.      /      007 .   ›

‹   * ﹕   ultra  violent   /   beacon  of  the  damned .      /      x - men .   ›

‹   * ﹕   absence  is  not  a  condition  of  holiness .      /      mortal instruments .   ›

‹   * ﹕   girl   ‚   she  artemis .      /      the olympians .   ›

‹   * ﹕   what  you  have  seen  is  not  who  you  are .      /      modern i .   ›

‹   * ﹕   a  brutally  soft  woman .      /      modern ii .   ›

‹   * ﹕   footsteps  thundering  on  cracked  pavement .      /      modern iii .   ›

‹   * ﹕   project   :   fake  god .      /      saw .   ›

‹   * ﹕   and  things  you  haven’t  seen  yet .      /      until dawn .   ›