#…which is a damn shame for the fics for these sorta ships that ARE actually interesting…

[void-tiger]

[fic takes several leaps For The Ship]

“That’s…that’s not how it happened? Spend time here at least?! Ugh whatever. My expectations for character continuity are automatically abysmally low for ship fics. Wdyd.”

[fic has character B knowing character A’s name]

“…that’s not…that was never said? At all? In canon? B doesn’t KNOW A’s name?! (Because A is kinda a wanker who refuses to introduce themself…but besides the point…) RIGHT sorry. I’m out.”

[gotgifsandmusings]

GoT 7x06 Musings

My initial reaction to “Beyond the Wall”

Apparently this is the episode that is pulling the wool off of everyone’s eyes. Not the one where Sansa married Ramsay for revenge and got raped. Not the one where Shireen was burned alive because of flurries preventing Stannis from marching 20 feet. Not the one where Marg was arrested for perjury and threatened to be paraded naked except that was a fake-out and the king (unbeknownst to the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard) had formed an alliance with the Faith that didn’t already totally exist and therefore the largest army in the land was rendered useless or unwilling to free the heir of Highgarden…

You know I can keep going. I’ll take it, and yes, the teleportation was its most egregious because we KNOW how much time passed in-verse while the raven and dragons were traveling. But still, this isn’t a new level of bad, no more than Barbaro and Jessica Henwick teleporting onto a ship to murder their cousin—for justice!

Though on the other hand, there was almost nothing I could see as even being objectively enjoyable about this episode, other than one moment of some decent CGI. The battle itself was surprisingly short, and so obviously contrived that we couldn’t pretend it was a “stunning war theater” like we could last year, even if last year the context also made no goddamn sense.

Alright, time to stop delaying and actually talk about this, though of course I’ll point you to Jess’s fabulous review first if you haven’t already read it.

Winterhell

Jess breaks down the horror of Arya’s stupid Ned-slow-clapping-at-her-landing-a-bullseye story better than I can. Arya didn’t do what was required of girls growing up, and that was a source of frustration

But no, here she’s some third-wave feminist who realizes how bad the system is.

Speaking of that bad system, way to sew you dumb asshole, Sansa. What, do you think people need CLOTHES or something?

No seriously, I can’t take the toxically masculine assumptions about empowerment anymore. This entire thing is such a sexist premise, Arya shaming Sansa for navigating in a socially acceptable way

WHICH IS THE WHOLE POINT OF SANSA’S ARC. SHE FIGURES OUT HOW TO WEAPONIZE THE SYSTEM TO HER BENEFIT AND DOES IT WITHOUT AROUSING THE SLIGHTEST SUSPICION

The letter thing is ridiculous too. Not even mentioning how Winterhell burned down so that’d probably be destroyed, this should not be that much of a conflict, nor should it have the potential to undo Sansa.

As Jess pointed out, Ned played along with the Lannisters too, because THAT’S WHAT YOU DO. Is he a traitor?

Then Sansa runs to Littlefinger even though we know she doesn’t trust him.

This is where the “they’re playing LF” honeypot stems from I think, but there’s no indication that Arya and Sansa aren’t reacting to each other alone, earnestly. Do they think Littlefinger planted some kind of audio bug on Sansa or something?

LF then brings up Brienne, which is followed by the scene of Sansa ordering Brienne to Cheryl’s Landing on her behalf for the already-scheduled meeting (even though Operation Bag-A-Wight is still going on), and being an asshole about it

The only sense I can make of this is that LF wants Brienne dead, or Arya dead, and is trying to urge a fight between them since we know they enjoy that? Which I guess would just help narrow down the field of non-LF allies to Sansa

Then *maybe* Sansa is sending Brienne away for her own protection, a la through rocks in Nymeria’s face??

Except there’s NO INDICATION OF THIS. Sansa’s rationale for why she’s sending a proxy to Cheryl’s Landing checks out, especially given Jon being MIA for the North (lol)

To cap off the game of “let’s hate each other to fuck with LF in private” Sansa then finds Arya’s messenger bag of Halloween masks

and no, sorry, Sansa’s terror is played as genuine, and thank the gods she gets yet another abuser, this time a member of her family! Yay!!

SPOILER (if anyone cares) I’m starting to wonder if Sansa orders Arya to execute LF next week just to buy herself a little trust from her horrible sister, and not because they actually figure anything out

Just all around bad bad bad. Fuck sisterly affection. They were different and hated each other growing up, so therefore they’ll be antagonistic towards each other after reuniting, trauma and shared grief be damned

That said, I feel like Sansa listens to UBS. Yes! She is the reason they have the North! She shouldn’t march her face into Cheryl’s Landing! She should have her interests represented! Correct!

Bo had the above take. This killed me. I want the Bunny Hood next week.

Dragonstone

They’re playing a weird game of having to deal with all of Tyrion’s plans turning to shit, and yet also having to keep him the golden boy. It’s not really working

Is Deadpan supposed to be getting paranoid like Aerys now? But then she’s later portrayed as a straight-up Good Guy Hero later, so I have confusion

This conversation goes literally nowhere, and frankly…yeah, why bother dealing with the line of succession now? She holds Dragonstone and no one even wanted it. And Daario’s probably doing fine in Meereen

This could have been a good exploration into her sorrow over being the last Targ…sorta? Like, her just not wanting to deal with it. But the show has never dealt with it before, so it doesn’t really come across as anything rooted in characterization

Me too, Deadpan.

Beyond the Wall

My brain was unable to focus on half these conversations, so I’m going to go back and rewatch before podcasting. Like. It was all walking and talking.

Not even in the good way. In the fic-ask-prompt kind of way. “Jon and Beric in a coffee shop, go!”

To highlight I guess

Jon & Jorah: Jon offers Jorah Longclaw because being an exiled slaver was hard on him. Glad this never came up with Lyanna, the actual heir of the house

Tormond makes a bawdy joke about raping Gendry because sex is a good way to keep warm. Male victimization is a hoot

Gendry gets mad at the Brotherhood without Banners for literally selling him and almost killing him, but Sandor tells him to stop “winging” because his complaints about being sexually assaulted by Mel “could be worse”

The Hound & Tormond chat about nicknames for penises before Tormond #nohomos and talks about how hot Brienne is

Jon & Beric have both been dead, what’s up with that? Also Jon quotes his Night’s Watch vows that he broke to gain inspiration from then, and Beric says he doesn’t look like Ned. Uh…

Jorah thinks Thoros was AWESOME for the Pyke battle

Then a bear attacks and I’m put out of my misery. A wight bear. Whatever

Who the fuck are these red shirts?

Thoros almost dies, but doesn’t die, but then he dies overnight, so…okay.

The wights walk in an orderly single file.

We learn a new contrivance: wights all fall if the white walker that personally res’d them is killed. There’s so many ways this doesn’t work with what we’ve seen, not the least of which that there was ONE WIGHT who was still squirming around

A whole lot of effort for convincing Cheryl, btw, who has essentially no army at this point

Then the other wights hear this wight’s struggle? And Jon tells Gendry who has never seen snow before that he’s the fastest runner (how does he know this) and has to go send a bird to Deadpan to help them out

this is baldly ridiculous. Their only shot is if they all try to book it

Then they run across cracking ice to a little rock, and then are shielded from wights because of…cracked ice

DEAD THINGS IN THE WATER

Also, dead things go through the water later in the episode

In-verse time: Gendry runs towards Eastwatch as the sun is setting and gets there around dusk. Jon & Co. wait out one night and the attack begins when the sun is still shining. I’m putting this at about 22 hours passing. A low-ball could be 14.

Raven gets to Dragonstone, Dany flies beyond the Wall and bails them out

The battle itself was underwhelming, I thought. Just smashing random skeletons who now die with any weapon (what about FIRE like we learned in Season 1?)

Viserion’s death looked cool, and the sinking into the puddle reminded me of King Dodongo. Dunno if that’s a good thing or not, but there you have it.

However, why did Shogun aim for the far away flying dragon and not Drogon who was RIGHT THERE and full of the people trying to get away?

He literally had his buddy ready his javelin for him

Jon falling into a puddle was…what? Why did this happen? Was this for closure for Uncle Benjen? Was this so we could have a dramatic moment of Deadpan thinking he died? Was this just to have a reason for a shirtless Jon on the boat so she could see his stab wounds? What did this add??

Then the res’d Viserion was kind of cooler in concept than seeing it happen. Oh wow, let’s focus on his eye I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN

Lol at the metal working wights with their big ass chains. Can they make mini-Needle necklaces for everyone too?

Also very not reading into any of this being from the books. I could see this happening in a way, I guess? But this context, especially with a javelin-throwing Night’s King can’t be the case.

I don’t even… At least the critical reviews are pouring in. This deserved it. So did the past three years’ worth of episodes, but still.

Top 3 Nitpicks (not glaring, gaping errors)

The invitation to a meeting in KL that couldn’t have been arranged yet

The clothing! No one was wearing a hood? Deadpan was traveling faster than a jet without ear warmers?

Jon not being dead of hypothermia (or his managing to climb out at all with his sodden furs and heavy boots)

[nui-the-super-lesbian]

41-51! For the fanfic ask meme~

Hold onto your ass because we’ve got a lot of stuff to go through so here we go! 

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

Ok, I’m too lazy to link these properly but these are the ones that I’ve always got open on my phone: 

Defenseless Present: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11153640

75. Role Reversal: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11275458

Nozomi’s Menagerie-a-Trois: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11336712

Dark Souls Isn’t the Only Thing That’s Hard (I dunno why it’s open it just is): http://archiveofourown.org/works/10655964

Winner Takes All: http://archiveofourown.org/works/7191539/chapters/16321640

42. List and link to 5 fanfiction authors who are amazing:

Ok I’m just gonna link their tumblrs if they have one so here goes:

@master-thief-gray-shadow, a lovely lady from Chicago who writes a lot of high quality futanari. I’m not into that stuff, sorry I’ve got shit taste, but she’s one of the only people to ever give me actual criticism on my work and she’s just a fun gal to be around so yeah do me a favor and go check her stuff out if you haven’t already. 

@zippyzapmeister. Does she even need an introduction? Like, really? Y’all know this chick, she’s infamous for making a lot of smut that’s really varied. She also got me to be a little less harsh on futa stuff, and I’ve even written some stuff for her and vice versa. She’s also just an amazing friend and a wonderful person that I’m really glad to have gotten to know. So yeah, go check her out. 

@zoegmiller, who does a lot of really good fire emblem smut. Like seriously, her stuff is at a level that I can only dream of reaching, and all of her work is just so goddamn amazing. I haven’t really gotten to know her all that much, but what interaction we’ve had has been great, so go read her stuff and be amazed by how awesome it is. 

LordByronMudkippington is a guy on AO3 and FF.Net who writes some really good love live smut. And when I say good, I mean damn fucking sublime good. He is severely underrated in my opinion, and honestly, you guys should do me a favor and go read his stuff because it’s awesome and you’ll like it. He also does a lot of love live rarepairs so if you’re into that then you’ll be right at home. I dunno if he has a tumblr or not, but here’s his AO3 account: http://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Byron_Mudkippington/pseuds/Lord_Byron_Mudkippington

SatsunonSavior is a writer who wrote some really spicy Satsuki x Nonon BDSM stuff, but the thing that really made me love her was a thing called Dear Diary. Which was some Ryuko la Satsuki BDSM, and holy fucking hell on a bike, it was sooooooooooo sublime!!! Like, it’s my all time favorite fanfic, so yeah, she’s a goddess in my eyes. So go give her stuff a read: http://archiveofourown.org/users/SatsunonSavior/pseuds/SatsunonSavior

43. Is there anybody in your fandom who really inspires you? 

Indeed there is, and those people are listed above, actually. Seriously, Gray, Bonnie, and Byron all give me so much goddamn inspiration, and I wanna be as good as them someday. 

44. What ship do you feel needs more attention? 

Nozomilla. Ok, I know it’s a crack ship, I know only like 5 people care about it, but it’s just something I hold dear. Like, I feel like I made something beautiful because of my love for that ship, and I want people to see the beauty that I see in it too. So while I know that it’ll never happen, I’m just gonna keep on hoping it starts to catch on. 

45. What’s your all-time favorite fanfic? 

Like I said above, SatsunonSavior’s Dear Diary will always be my all time favorite. It’s just…. it’s just so fucking good, man. Go read it. Now. Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/6907453

46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

Either Hot and Cold or Dark Souls Isn’t the Only Thing That’s Hard. Hot and Cold because it’s probably the best thing I’ve ever written and I just wanna show it off, and Dark Souls because it’s a lot more normal and it’s actually really solid, despite me finding the fetish I wrote it for not all that attractive. That and it’s genuinely funny, according to some people. But if they wanted something really fun to laugh at, then A Magician Never Reveals Her Secrets or FUCK BEES INC. would be more their speed. 

47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why?

AO3, because that’s where all the good shit is. Also they don’t have fun police like on FF.net. 

48. Already answered that one, sorry!

49. Do you care if people comment/reblog your writing? Why/why not?

I live for that. Like, getting any sort of feedback, be it positive or negative, is welcome (as long as it’s not telling me that my bellybutton fetish is gross, in which case I will kill you), but I just want people to see the fruits of my labor and I wanna know what they think. 

50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

I was collabing with a friend of mine on this KLK story thing, and we decided to make it a series. So I thought it’d be fun to write one of them since he was doing most of the writing, and it turned out that my writing was really good and I decided to become a writer of bellybutton smut. Two years and 22 fics later (I’m slow when it comes to producing good stuff, I know), and I’m still going and I’ve met so many awesome people along the way. 

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

Ok… I’m gonna put a cut under this because my rant is gonna be a little bit controversial. Enter at your own risk, kiddos. Seriously, don’t read this, it’s bad, like you’re gonna want to burn me at the stake for what I’m about to say because I am gonna sound like an asshole and you do not wanna see me when I’m being stupid. 

Oh, so you didn’t take my advice, huh? Well, you’re here now. Might as well not hold back then. 

So…. Here we go. Ok. I don’t like futanari. I think it’s gross, dicks are gross, and the way a lot of the stuff is written is just so… disgusting to me. Like, it’s fine if you like it, I’m not gonna tell you to fuck off for liking dicks, trust me! But it’s just a fetish I see EVERYWHERE, and it just won’t leave me alone. Especially in the love live tag on AO3, futa is just all over the place, and while I’m sure it’s fucking paradise for those who really like it, I’m kinda sorta absolutely fucking sick of it. Like, I’ve written for it too, and I’m ok with the stuff I did, but jesus christ it’s a fucking confidence killer when my futa gets WAY more attention that my navel stuff. Like, I know that the majority isn’t into that, but would it kill you people to just give it a chance? I’ve given futa plenty of chances, and I didn’t like it all that much, so could you please do the same for me? Seriously, I work my ass off and get jack shit for my efforts and I don’t wanna have to sacrifice my enjoyment for what I’m writing for stuff that I’m gonna hate. 

And while I’m at it, I really fucking hate the way dicks are written. It just sounds so… dumb. Like, pants tightening? Bulge? Why is this hot? SOMEBODY TELL ME WHY IT’S HOT!!!! Granted, the same anger and logic can be applied to my stupid little bellybutton stuff, but hey, it’s not like any of you people read it anyways so I feel like I have the right what vent. 

And another thing: Why the fuck are people on FF.net such dicks? Like, seriously, y’all who left a review on Trapped in the Closet (you know who you are), aside from Gray and a couple other people, fuck you for mocking my kink. Like, seriously, all of you who told me it was gross, go fuck yourselves. I know the fic was bad, I’ll own up to that fact, but saying that I should write something more “normal” really hurt my feelings, ok? 

Now, you shouldn’t sympathize with any of this, and honestly I feel like I should be shamed for having these opinions, and I’m sorry for having them too. Just don’t let my stupid little feelings get in the way of you doing what you want. Seriously, go follow your dreams and do what you want, write as many dicks as you please. I just feel like I needed to get that off my chest. I’m sorry. Anywho, I’m sorry you had to read that, but I hope you enjoyed the rest of the ask and that you have a good evening!!