#•—welcome to the oscars!

[bark-anon]

— bark anon here!

I should mention that it was been almost a week since the last entry/nomination for the scaramouche smau oscars so categories will be posted soon! everyone, get ready to vote!

disclaimer: please check the nomination post for any smau you may consider nominating, I've received many duplicates (not calling anyone out) but it gets very annoying having to clear out my inbox. (remember I am a singular person with a life that's not very active in the first place!!)

disclaimer 2: if there are more nominations, the limit of 40 will be increased respectfully — the category list will still be posted as scheduled!

nominations!

categories

voting form (coming soon!)

2024 bark anon

[ayo-edebiri]

Ryan Gosling singing "I'm Just Ken" at the 96th Academy Awards (2024) // Marilyn Monroe singing "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend" In Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1954)

[squarbies]

oscar tully, i was unfamiliar with your game. i will not make the same mistake again.

[sweetestgirlintown111]

As if the McLaren drama wasn't enough NICO ROSBERG was there to watch it and then ask his divorcee what he thought of while most likely both of them were getting flashbacks to the olden days. ALSO LEWIS HAMILTON 200 PODIUM

[mara-xx]

McLaren think that their landoscar PR is enough for us to forget the absolute shit show they’re putting their drivers through…and it’s working, keep it up 💪

[leftneb]

welcome back to episode 481 of "I made too many versions of this and all of them rock"

closeups under the cut as usual :3

[strawberry-daiquiris]

happy lando is 25 day! quarter of a century, cheers ears etc. what a wonderful day!!!

inspired ✨ to write some established relationship landoscar celebrating to celebrate lando becoming old and haggard (spoiler: he's not, he's just being dramatic, they're probably just blonde, right?)

They’re granted a rare, extra day off for Lando’s birthday. Andrea takes Oscar to one side in the MTC, looking all sincere with a furrowed brow, and tells him he thinks it’ll be good, for Lando, for them, to have some time alone for his birthday after everything, lately. Oscar’s phone starts lighting up ten minutes later, notification after notification of his meetings getting cancelled for Wednesday, crossed through in his Google calendar. 

Not that it can really be considered time alone. Lando’s playing golf with Max at 11, and they’re going to a restaurant in London tonight with his family.

Still, it has been nice, spending a couple of nights at the hotel together. It’s the kind of place they don’t really stay that often, grand in an old fashioned way, paint chipping off corners and daring you to complain when it’s all part of the character. Last night Oscar went for a swim, and the only other people in the pool were nearly triple his age. He had a great conversation with Mary, celebrating her 50th wedding anniversary, cooing over how nice a boy he is.

Lando’s got a special relationship with the girl on the front desk after she fixed the pizza disaster. He tells Oscar about it in a vague way that’d be pretty worrying, if he hadn’t been watching Max’s stream at the time, curled up in his bed in Monaco thinking he should’ve flown in a day earlier. 

Lando’s in bed himself, right now, still snoring. Oscar’s managed to pull on a pair of joggers he doesn’t think are actually his to open the door to room service. He’d arranged breakfast direct with the kitchen, trying to bypass Lando’s card on file to sign for it himself. It’s not really a birthday surprise, after all, if you make the person celebrating pay for it. 

“Thanks,” he whispers, relieved when he sees it’s Lando’s pizza girl. “Did you get the note about…”

“Mayonnaise?” Her smile as she says it makes something curl in Oscar’s stomach. The horrifying idea that anybody else but him knows Lando’s quirks, even when Oscar knows they’re on show for the world to see. Half of Twitter probably knows about the mayonnaise thing. “Yeah, we might have to get an extra delivery in if he keeps staying.”

Oscar smiles, laughs, even though inside he’s sort of plotting how he can get Lando barred from staying here ever again. They could buy somewhere, near the MTC, he reckons, with their salaries.

As soon as the thought comes, Oscar shakes it off.

It’s mad talk, wanting to buy a house with the guy you’ve been seeing for six months, even if you’ve known him longer, even if you spend most of your lives in each others pockets. 

He notices the snoring has stopped when he starts wheeling the trolley into the main area of the suite. Oscar frowns. Silence is never a good sign, with Lando. It’s either the snuffling breaths of his sleep, the repetitive sounds of a game, or incessant talking. He’s been silent more, lately. 

Oscar pops his head around the door to the bedroom. Lando’s laying on his back, frowning at something in his hand. For a second, Oscar thinks it’s his phone, that Lando’s back reading the bullshit people are writing about him again.

“Uh, hey,” Oscar says, then stops. Not exactly how you greet your boyfriend on his birthday. Even if he’d said it last night when the clocks flickered to midnight, buried deep inside Lando, kissing his neck and his shoulders as they both tried to stave off coming for a little bit longer. “Happy Birth-”

“Have you seen this?” Lando interrupts, sitting up abruptly, holding himself up on one elbow. He sticks his hand out in Oscar’s direction. “I’ve got fricken’ grey pubes.”

Alright, so not his phone then.

Oscar can’t help but laugh, one of the special ones he thinks he reserves pretty much only for Lando, collapsing a bit into his own chest with a huff, letting out the warm air that collects in his chest and has been whispering you love him for a good year now. 

“Can’t say I noticed that one last night,” Oscar tells him, and Lando rolls his eyes, brandishing what Oscar now knows is a pubic hair in the air. “Alright fine, I’m coming, let me see.”

He climbs onto the bed, the joggers he’s now sure are Lando’s slipping further and further down his arse as he crawls. He kicks Lando’s legs apart so he can rest between them, and Lando automatically curls an ankle over his. It’s what they do when they can’t touch properly - in meetings, on planes, sitting in the back of cars in countries that’d kick them out or worse if they knew.

It’s been easier, since they told Andrea and Zak, since it’s gone from secret to just private, at least at work. 

Oscar takes the pube from Lando, holding it up to the slither of light that’s coming in from where they’ve not quite closed the curtain.

Lando looks up at him a bit hopeful, like he’s desperate to be proven wrong. Happier to find out he’s colour blind to greyscale than being old. 

Unfortunately, there’s no mistaking it. It’s definitely lighter than the rest.

“Ah, that does look a little grey, mate, yes.”

Lando groans, flopping down against the pillows, screwing his eyes shut. 

“Might as well just die,” he says dramatically. Oscar sits back, sliding his hands onto Lando’s naked thighs, rubbing them, watching the muscles tense and getting a bit distracted by just how hot he is. It’s a better option, sometimes, than listening to him. “I’m fucking old. Do they even let old people drive? I’m gonna need a fucking pube transplant.”

Oscar snorts. Convenient that he’s forgotten about Fernando being nearly twenty years older than him. 

“You don’t need a pube transplant,” Oscar says, using the sensible voice he puts on when he needs to explain something to Lando. He’s complained before it makes Oscar sound like a teacher, storming off into another room and coming back ten minutes later with a wicked glint in his eye and a potentially slightly illegal PornHub tab open in incognito. “They’re fine. Look…”

He slides his fingers into the tuft Lando’s got above the fat base of his dick. It’s pretty much the same consistency as his facial hair, which he’s absolutely forbidden to mention if he doesn’t want Lando getting the huff for a half hour. 

“Very brown, completely normal for a 25 year old.”

Lando groans again.

“25 is so old, it’s halfway to fucking 50.” Lando grumbles. “Who’s even 50? Aren’t they all dead?”

“Mark’s nearly 50,” Oscar says, then cringes immediately, curling his fingers a bit too tight in Lando’s pubes. His head veers up, eyes a bit dark. Number one rule, no mentioning Mark when either of them is naked, it never ends well. “And er, our Dads? Andrea’s older than that too, and um… Zak.”

Lando screws his face up.

“Oscar, don’t mention Zak when you’re touching my dick, please.”

Despite the annoyance, there’s a hopefulness in the way he says it. Oscar is more than happy to oblige, if it gets him off the hook. He slides down the bed, and even though Lando hasn’t showered and still smells of sweat and come from last night, Oscar takes him into his mouth. He might not be able to play golf, but he can organise breakfast and give a mean blowjob, so he reckons he’s alright. 

Lando’s easy for it, writhing and bucking his hips, and Oscar wants to make it good. Eases Lando’s hips up so he can slide deeper, feeling the press at the entrance to his throat.

After Lando comes, he starts choking, and Oscar has to push him back gently, come still coating his mouth. Lando’s really good at things like this, immediately sitting up to caress the back of Oscar’s head, looking worried. It’s one of the best parts about doing stuff with someone who’d never been with a bloke before Oscar, actually. He still finds the gross parts of sex vaguely horrifying. 

“Are you alright?” Lando asks, and Oscar nods, pressing his fingers into his mouth and swiping around until he finds the culprit, dragging it out from his throat and holding it up.

They both look at it. Drenched in Oscar’s saliva, it’s darker than the first, but it’s still unmistakably grey.

“Don’t,” Lando warns, and Oscar nods, reaching his hand off the bed and flicking his fingers until it drops to the floor, someone else’s problem. “Fucking don’t.”

Oscar snorts, dropping his lips to the inside of Lando’s knee, kissing the soft hairless part that’s only for him. He nods to the door, and the trolley with the steaming plates of waffles, pancakes, and inexplicably, mayonnaise.

He smiles. It’s criminal, really, how much he likes Lando.

“Breakfast?”

[nowritingonthewall]

"Be our guest! Be our guest!"

[polarprude]

[warcriminalpastry]

when i say “i want oscar to win the championship” i’m not talking about the driver’s, i’m talking about grill the grid. let the world know how big of a nerd he is.

[lonizera]

currently missing the vacuo team ;w;

i finally designed their outfits wOOHOOOOOO, i had such a hard time deciding nora’s colour palette with her design, same with emerald :djdjdjdksksk

but i’m really happy with how ren and oscar’s turned out :’)))

[fangirl-dot-com]

Hi Guys

It's fangirl here 👋

I wanted to say thank you. Much like the speech I wrote for kid, I cannot put my gratitude into words.

Back in October, I was so nervous to post anything. However, I wrote a quick first chapter and uploaded it. To my despair, my first comments was a criticizing one. I almost gave up then because if I couldn't get through the first chapter without someone saying something demeaning, then I didn't want to post at all. I went to sleep that night thinking that I'd delete the chapter in the morning.

Except, I never did that. Multiple likes, follows, and positive comments rolled in, giving me the hope that readers out there actually did like my stuff.

This story was not supposed to be over 40 chapters, but then I went through everything and oh my gosh, this was going to be over 40 chapters. But I have enjoyed every moment of it.

In the end, all I can say is thank you. I hope the epilogue does Kid right and that you can see her successful future as I imagined. The epilogue is yours tomorrow at 11:30 am CT.

Welcome to the final show 🫶

TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @glitterquadricorn @laura-naruto-fan1998 @treehouse-mouse @sam-is-lost @kagatinkita @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @myxticmoon @angsthology @cmleitora @fly-me-away @graciewrote @ashy-kit @slutofmultifandom @aexitizen-ln4 @sugarvibez @vellicora @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @33-81 @hoetel-manager @xcharlottemikaelsonx @jayda12 @ilove-tswizzle @justme2042 @itsjustkhaos @nikfigueiredo @stopeatread @cha-hot @sadg3 @iloveyou3000morgan @s4turnsl0ver @alessioayla @torchbearerkyle @leptitlu @awekbachira @shreks-sugar-daddy @v1naco @stan-josie @mellowarcadefun @badassturtle13 @beskardroids @callisposts @poppyalice2001 @juniper-july19 @lizzypiastri

[wafflesrisa]

DTS storyline predictions

Now that the teaser for season 6 is out, here’s a few cents on what storylines DTS s6 is likely to go for.

(Health warning that I don’t think these teammate or driver dynamics are necessarily true in real life, I am simply saying that if I wanted to make a bucketload of money as a Netflix producer this is how I’d overly dramatise events)

1. The Matador: Carlos Sainz the hunter, in the shadow of his own teammate, unloved, hungry, determined; his own team dragging him down with a net named strategy; the prey (his teammate) biting back; the hunter chases the bull and emerges victorious.

2. It’s lonely at the top : Caesar is all-powerful, but the council has knives; over 10 minutes of screentime will be spent on George and Max (dickhead!); checo’s early challenge for the crown at Jeddah; Max’s all out crushing of his competitors’ efforts; Max as a polarising figure.

3. The prodigal son/the resurrection of Lazarus: Daniel Ricciardo’s fall, rehabilitation, and triumphant return; Christian Horner dragging Zak Brown; returning “home” to Red Bull but it’s like a den of wolves (perform or die); THE BROKEN HAND (pain suffering hospital); brief victory at Mexico (Daniel did well that race).

4. The Young Guns: Oscar’s meteoric season vs Nyck’s crash out of F1; Logan struggling to keep his seat; cutthroat Marko vs supportive dad Vowles (Qatar will be milked to death for dangerous conditions).

5. The Old Hands: Fernando Alonso and Lewis Hamilton, old rivals, still desperate and hungry like a pair of lions still battling for the top; the inverse fates of Aston Martin falling vs Mercedes rising as the season progresses

6. The Older Sibling and the Prodigy: McLaren’s rollercoaster of a season; Lando’s run of P2 but no wins; Oscar’s sprint race win; jealousy, rivalry, hunger, bitterness.

7. The Civil War: the infighting at Alpine, childhood friends turned rivals turned bitter enemies; Esteban’s no good very bad penalty day; Esteban’s Monaco podium; Pierre’s Zandvoort podium; their no holds barred infighting on radio; team orders; management chaos (Otmar leaving)

8. Man overboard: Mark my words DTS will spend a whole episode on Guenther ending in his abrupt departure from Haas and he will be sent off with 300% more respect than four time world champion Sebastian Vettel.

[turbomnstr]

KEEP SHARING MY MUSIC WITH YOUR FRIENDS IF YOU WANT MORE NEW MUSIC, VIDEOS, MERCH & MORE. SPREAD THE WORD !!!

[poscariastri]

surfing? more like. serving

[boycritter]