#” emo is just a word to describe something i dont really like.”

[evilhomoashell]

gonna commit bc my dad dropped me off at school and everyone was outside and he pointed at MY EX (hes never met them) and started making fun of his outfit. 💀💀

[crushedsweets]

back w more of my song analysis bs cause im studying music performance and it’s all I think about 😍 sorry this is so long. i have so many Thoughts

the chain by fleetwood mac is such a brian song. no big beat drop, just constant driving bass - shows determination, relentlessness. specifically the line “if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again” which i take to mean “after i do what im about to do i will become unlovable, so you if you don’t love me now then you will never be able to because i’ll be such an irredeemable person”

geyser by mitski is a really good song to describe nina’s relationship with Jeff. the way that the song starts off so slow, so quiet and thin, but then swells to a grand and full sound like how nina’s obsession started off so small but then grew to control her entire life. love the line “and hear the harmony only when it’s harming me”

a pearl by mitski and LJ (another mitski song cause she’s my fav artist ever) about his abandonment mmm. plus the slightly sinister sounding chords showing his evilification(?? yk what i mean. when he turned emo) ugh “you’re growing tired of me” and “i fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended” so him

tongues and teeth by the cranes wives and EJ. this is SO his song. ALL of the lyrics r so incredibly him,, “my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear” plus the slightly manic instrumental, highlighting the panic he feels at potentially harming people he loves HLGKFJJDS.

also, for ur consideration, miss nothing by the pretty reckless x nat.

- anon 🌙

anon im kicking my feet. AGGHHGHG. ohh my god. yhou are using musical word that i do not comprehendn in the same way you may but wow do i love the way you describe it. very poetic i think. ill talk abt these.. and then mention a liil extra smth abt toby i thought when driving yesterday

the chain is yes very brian.... ugh... yeyah. yeah. 'after i do what im about to do' is so real. like being so very aware and conscious of your awful decisions and still going through with them. quite brian-like even under the whole complexities with hoody persona etc etc....

AND YEAH GEYSER TOO . the start of the song feels very like... idk if scary is right but its just very deep and could be quite unsettling.... nina longs for love. "i've turned down every hand thats beckoned for me to come" very pretty, fun, easy-going girl that could have plenty of suitors and yet she's still crawling towards this fucking beast of a man who is nothing good for her. "i will be the one you need" constantly warping herself for this man that wouldn't do shit for her, and she doesn't mind because she loves him in every single which way he is, and she loves how awful it is . and FUCKKKKK SHE NEEDS TO GET BETTER SHE NEEDS TO GET AWAY. she gets away dont worry. she gets over him. lots of crying and sobbing and screaming but she gets over it. its very hard to get over something awful when you crave awful

im not a huge lj fan (SCARED OF CLOWNS IM SORRY GUYS IK I KEEP HARPING ON ABOUT IT) but i loooove a pearl. "i fell in love with a war / nobody told me it ended" wow. ok. yeah. wow. jesus. rolling the pearl around looking for anything and everything that could soothe the ache of literal fucking abandonment while all you can do is wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and then its all too much and damn . :( damn ok.

IVE GORWN A MOUTH SO SHARP AND CRUEL IS LITERALLY SO PERFFECTLY EJ. FUCK. "I am not a vessel for your good intents" oh but he is sure a vessel for something demonic .... "abonded all your stupid dreams / about the girl i couldve been" HE HAD SOOO MANY FUCKING DREAAAMSSSS he wants to be a doctor he wanted to save lives he wanted a family he wanted a dog he wanted to see his little siblings grow up he wanted to take care of his elderly parents. and now all he can do is sit and be miserable because he is a monster and there is only so much he can do about it. damn. wow.

also yeah to the nat thing wow.

wow. yeah. goddamn.

AND ALSOOOOO OK LAST NIGHT I WAS DRIVING AND THIS SONG CAME ON

shit show by peter mcpoland i just keep thinking about toby. tbh ill find a way to twist any song into toby cuz i like him but yea. this is leaning more into the found family thing after losing his own and just seeing the way different people reflect his past and its gut wrenching but you know how he is. just a guy of sorts. he spends a lot of his time angry and wanting to isolate and self destruct and ruin everything around him . but he also spends a lot of his time desperate for normalcy, for respect, to be seen as a human fucking being and ah fugugh. im just imagining brian pulling him out to meet the owner of the farm near slenders forest and making him stand straight and telling the farmer 'he's a good kid, hard worker, strong. keep him around" (the hardworking strong part is true, at least) and toby's about to die cuz he's so stressed (this is shortly after all the fucking murder) but brian lightly slaps him on the back and he stands up straight and the farmer just shakes his hand and says smth nice abt 'got a good grip there' and and and guyyyyssss..... and holidays..are so hard for hhim.. and "i swear i'd see your faces staring up at me" ohh my goddd.... "I don't wanna drink alone today" man................... guys...... man......

[voidpunkanathema]

jasper

Why I like them: He turned out to be a much more complicated character than he seemed to be on the surface. It took me until his literal last scene in the game to realize this but damn if that scene didn't paint all of his actions in a new light. Like yeah he's still a bastard but you saw WHY he became the way he did. How easily it all could have been avoided. How he and Hendrik deserved the chance to move past the lies that poisoned their relationship without him having to be a ghost living in his armor. It hurt in a weird way. He became my first true character hyperfixation and honestly opened my mind to engaging with fiction in a whole new way. No one deserves to be painted in the Crying Lucifer Painting pose more than him lol 

Why I don’t: I will forever have a chip in my shoulder that he didn't get a redemption arc, sorrynotsorry. Even Party Chat tries to desperately downplay the significance of the armor scene if you check it on the now-memorial balcony. On a lighter note the fact I missed 99.9% of the Piers fandom is entirely his fault because I was too busy hyperfixating on him lol. Also, the classism. The classism is bad, mkay? :P

Favorite line: His melodramatic evil speech in the throne room where he lists love first as something he's given up on is hard to beat. Also his final line in the game being "we will never be apart again'...yeah 🥲😭

Favorite outfit: The evil queen ensemble. It's so...very.  Exactly the sort of thing a raging disaster gay that designs his own outfits (according to the character book) that's devoted himself to eeevil would wear. 

OTP: He literally only makes sense as a character if you assume he was extremely, painfully gay for Hendrik and sublimating it in a WEIRD way. And Hendrik certainly showed enough signs of feeling the same way (the way he clutches his necklace to his chest after his death in the first timeline...) Mordegon and Heliodor's toxic monarchy just got in the way... 

Brotp: Jade was apparently just as close to him as she was to Hendrik but the game NEVER EXPLORES THIS AT ALL. Also I think he and Sylvando could have been absolute terrors together lol. And I've always liked the headcanons where he and Mia bond over their shared pain and rage at their (perceived) abandonment. 

Head Canon: Quite a few, so I'll just share one that he wrote the MOST emo poetry as a pining teen, something he will never admit to on pain of death as an adult. I'll also bring up the fact he's successfully taken over the world but still paying for cake as proof he's not as happy as he thought he'd be and eating his feelings about it in Act 2 lol

Unpopular opinion: No one reads deeply enough into him, everyone takes the bullshit he tells himself at face value even when he directly contradicts himself *eyetwitch* I often suspected I was literally the only person right about him lol. Also, the Gay Armor Marriage was incredibly touching, but not enough. He shouldn't have died at all. Also while I've read Jasper/Sylvando fic and enjoyed it before I don't really ship him or Hendrik with Sylv myself which kinda feels like a minority take in this fandom 

A wish: At this point I can only hope he gets the Psaro treatment where his death is avoided entirely when the game is rereleased in like 25 years 

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I honestly don't want Square to revisit him, they treated him so harshly compared to other villains of the same caliber that pretty much got away with everything so yeah, just leave the angry wet cat man alone guys...

5 words to best describe them: Poor little meow meow supreme 💛

My nickname for them: Bastard son, the Purple Titty Monster (for Unbound obviously)

[icommitedcrimesasatoaster]

My Top 5 favorite ships of all time 😎 (with bonuses)

hello. the demons in my head said to do it and i will do it now. (read it in the number 15 foot lettuce guy voice) also , they are not in a particular order , just they are on the same level (also this is an indication of what ill be prob posting on my page )

Number 5. LeviHan (Hange x Levi , from AOT)

what can i say , i sometimes do enjoy 50% straight romance. its not fully 100% because hange is a demigirl , you cannot disagree , it is in all religion texts.

Anyway , i just love the absolute idiot x emo fuck dynamic. warms my heart and size difference , what cant ya love?

Number 4. Beiguang/Eimiko (Ningguang x Beidou / Yae Miko x Ei , from genshin impact)

Ah the classic lesbian ships , my beloved. I couldn't decide which to put so i put them on the same spot! look at my monkey brain go.

Eimiko is a classic for a good damn reason. They gay as fuck for each other , and i just love the "takes no shit" lesbian and the "i DONT give a flying fuck " lesbian you just love it

Same with Beiguang. They are a classic for a reason. Them being gay ass fuck can also explain but the free gf and takes no shit gf my beloved.

Number 3. Zukka ( Zuko x Sokka , from ATLA)

You know , as i said previously i love emo fucks and goofy bitches being together. And additional points from finding the ship in memes. Its just... SOO GOOD. mhm.

Also both missing mums less gooo

Number 2. Bowuigi ( Bowser x Luigi , from... Mario universe idk)

If you follow me or what bullshit i post , you know i AM OBSSESED with these FUCKERS. THEY BROKE INTO MY HOUSE , STOLE MY HEART , GOT ME TO BED AND KISSED ME ON MY FOREHEAD.

they have me floating in the air , magic on my titties , and you know. I am not complaining. like someone else 😼😳 (also like... size diffrence.) also monster fucking less go.

Number 1. Xiaitto , AraXiao? idk anymore (Xiao x Itto , from Genshin impact)

I got you bowuigi shippers here in my grasp , and you cannot escape me from talking about my fav genshin ship.

... words cannot describe how I AM IN FUCKING LOVE WITH THIS SHIP. But i cant usually express that because , theres no fucking xiao x itto posts. Anywhere. Even on twitter or pintrest. I am truly disappointing in humanity because of it.

Now first of all , one of or my favourite dynamic is goofy hoe x emo bitch. and as you can see , they are the infact definition of the himbo x emo trope.

second of all , JESUS THE SIZE DIFFRENCE IS KILLING ME. YOU MEAN THAT PEOPLE DONT SHIP THE TALLEST AND (maybe) SHORTEST MALE CHARACTERS? WTHHHH

third, the actual interactions in game make me wanto cry and scream and want them to live happily ever after in the mountain house or something (2.7 really is amazing guys)

and fourth , the aus this parring can be is truly amazing. I can put them in a royal au , with babysitting au and it works perfectly. (im thinking of writting a fanfic based on that , because into you is good omggg)

Honorable mentions

Any oc x oc parring i have. People wont get you my loves but i love you none the less . (need to get on writting a work on them)

some mha ships , including kiribaku , todomomo , jiromomo , and todojiro (idk emo x deppressed kinda slay)

thomato and chili , couldnt fit you guys but you guys are a high 6th place :(

anddd yeah thats the end of my rambling. thank you for reading it , and if any of the ships intrest you (mainly itto x xiao) please talk to me , i need someone to talk about them with me.

adios

[identityarchitect]

the poll's over!! the results are here!! @cobaltscar @tellofunni @darradreamer @loud-whistling-yes @birdkittenn @silly-slugged-cat @food--exe @triple--affirmative @hypvalsqr @doodle-birdo @wouldalwaysbeyours @tequitoclown @woomybeeb @morp

hello to everyone that wanted to see the results!

the winner ("there is a type of religious action called 'noise milking' or 'rock swatting'") is true! this happens in rain world! to be fair it's mentioned in a single pearl and isn't necessarily a religious action but we know literally nothing about it so i had to say something.

the false option (and also an explanation of everything below the cut) was...

"one of the gods canonically does drag" - none of them do drag! it's terrible actually! there should be a canonical drag iterator

hypothetically five pebbles could be said to do drag, as he's seen in some images with a little bit of eyeliner, however that's not really drag as we understand it

now all of the other options

gods are an established species, and they breathe by crying - true! these are called iterators, and they're biomechanical superstructures that flush slag from their systems by making it rain - effectively breathing by crying.

you can kill a god by eating all of her braincells (of which she has exactly 5) - true! looks to the moon is an iterator who has collapsed, leaving her exactly five neuron flies (which are her braincells). if you eat all of those, she's dead! forever!

one of the most integral plot characters is a soggy cat with adhd - true(ish)! technically rivulet doesnt canonically have adhd. but they are one of the most important plot characters, as they deliver five pebbles' heart to moon's uh. chest cavity? im trying not to overexplain lol. surprisingly this was the least voted option, meaning that non-rw fans seem to find this the most believable!

god (the main one) is an emo with cancer - true(ish)! i think pebbles absolutely would be an emo if the subculture existed and he had the option, but sadly we can only call him an emo based on how depressed he is. he does have cancer though. describing him as the main god isn't technically true? there are possibly thousands of iterators, but its effectively true given how integral he is to every slugcat

one of the species could escape samsara - they dont because there's shiny stuff - true! this one is poorly worded because my original wording was too long for the poll option. every species in rain world is trapped in a cycle - like sleep like death, if you die you will simply wake up again. one of the species, the scavengers, are known to have achieved the highest karma level possible, which would enable them to go and ascend, escaping the cycle for good. however, they're enamoured with pearls, and like to collect as many of them as they can, leading them to continue in the cycle for this goal.

feral cats are the primary communication method between gods - true(ish)! iterators use communications arrays to broadcast messages to each other, but those arrays break down over time, and at a point they're all probably completely alone. the other method of communication is to send trained slugcats between iterators. the slugcats would have pearls, or things to deliver, and this could keep a conversation going.

the way to escape samsara is a pond full of worms - true(ish)! describing the void sea as a pond is a bit of an understatement, but it is full of worms, and those worms do help you escape the cycle.

theres a dating simulator - true! the end of the inv/enot campaign has a dating simulator in it.

a fat dad is the strongest character in effectively all regards - true! gourmand has the highest spear damage, can crush foes with his body, and is content with the cycles. we could say that spearmaster or artificer are stronger - they can generate infinite spears and create explosives respectively, or that saint were more karmically balanced, but gourmand isn't trapped in an infinite loop like saint is. gourmand's just chilling.

when you meet god, he basically tells you to kill yourself - true! upon first meeting five pebbles as survivor or monk, he gives you instructions on how to get to the worm pond and escape the cycles. since this is the only true death a creature can experience, he's effectively telling you to kill yourself

thanks for voting :3c

this includes the dp dlc obviously

[koinvyokan]

dsmp fic recs!!!

ive narrowed the list down to only completed works so none of these will leave you hanging and you can binge to your hearts content.

* = most highly recommended

Rated T

for you, the stars *

By andthentheybow

Relationships: DNF, Karlnap, SBI as a family

Words: 115k

Why you should read it: this is an au of The Martian, with george being trapped on mars. its heartbreaking, raw, so poetic and still very much keeps the realistic and scientific tone of the original work. this fic broke my heart and put it back together slowly.

~~~~~

how dare you love me like you’ve never known fear *

By andthentheybow (just read all their fics, theyre such a good writer)

Relationships: DNF, Karlnapity

Words: 11k

Why you should read it: immortal soulmates au??? do i need to say more?? its so filled with longing and cool worldbuilding its ridiculous. 

~~~~~

We Must Have Good Pitch, ‘Cause Baby, You and Me are So In Tune!

By Quid_Pro_Cure

Relationships: Karlnapity, DNF (background)

Words: 73k

Why you should read it: probably my favourite karlnapity fic! its a small town rock band AU about dtqk trying to win a festival competition that features a very badass sapnap and a really lovely romance. the characters are vividly described and its just a nice, funny, light on the angst read. 

~~~~~

I wish I were you, Optimism *

By valleyofthesun

Relationships: DNF, Georgebur (past dont let this make u not read it i beg), SBI as a family

Words: 62k

BIG TW FOR SUICIDE

Why you should read it: want to preface this by making it clear that this fic is about the c! versions of these characters. it follows george as he deals with the grief from his boyfriend, wilbur, committing suicide and shows how dream helps him start to recover from this. i read this at a time in which i needed to read something like this, after losing a friend to suicide myself, so believe me when i tell you that this fic’s depiction of grief is like nothing ive ever seen in fanfiction or in any type of media in it’s accuracy. the characterization is very true although the characters are in this very unlikely situation, the prose is absolutely beautiful, and it does have it’s funny and heartwarming moments to detract from all the angst and pain. this fic is really taxing to read, at least it was for me maybe that because i was too personally connected to it, but do consider that before you read as it deals with extremely triggering material. this fic changed me. read it right neeeooowww!

~~~~~

The Night Window *

By backtopluto

Relationships: DNF

Words: 51k

Why you should read it: i could recommend all of backtopluto’s works, honestly they are one of if not my favourite dnf author. but my favourite of their works is definitely this one. this is a 1930s car racing au, which is something i never would have thought to look for, but now i wish there were a million vintage racing aus because i need more of this dynamic. there’s so much good angst and character study in this fic, i would describe it like one long race itself, there are so many ups and downs and by the end you feel like a different person. their writing puts you into the character’s head so well, and i have such massive respect for their ability to make a historical au so realistic, im surprised the author didnt live through this time period themself.

~~~~~

Tender is the Night

By backtopluto

Relationships: DNF

Words: 18k

Why you should read it: dream dodging the vietnam draft au! another amazing historical au by backtopluto, this one is just really sweet and, well, tender. 

~~~~~

lightning bug

By saintaches

Relationships: DNF

Words: 21k

Why you should read it: early 2000s emo warped tour band au. this is just super fun and cute and you feel like the author somehow knows what its like to spend a summer in a sweaty tour bus with your best friend and your maybe more than best friend

~~~~~

head or heart

By effervescentlies

Relationships: DNF, Karlnap (background)

Words: 58k

Why you should read it: grey’s anatomy/doctor au! very fun, good angst, well done enemies to lovers, and dnf respecting and thirsting after each other’s intelligence as surgeons <3 love it

~~~~~

take this compass, follow it home

By lightning_anon

Relationships: SBI as a family

Words: 49k

Why you should read it: obligatory SBI foster family au! usually i actually dont much like the SBI foster trope, but damn this one knocks it out of the park. a really brutally honest depiction of mental health issues. this actually helped me realize i have adhd and get help for that so uh. good representation matters! i would recommend the entire encompass series that this is the start of, especially wilbur’s section as a very interesting depiction of intersex and ftm trans issues.

~~~~~

a moment apart

By fictionalparadises

Relationships: Karlnap

Words: 44k

Why you should read it: what?? a fic with actual asexual karl jacobs rep??? do my eyes deceive me? no, its real! its really fucking sweet and a realistic portrayal of asexuals in relationships! crazy, right? 

~~~~~

a lifetime, my lifeline *

By wooowriter

Relationships: DNF

Words: 10k

Why you should read it: the perfect dnf meetup fic. soo full of longing and the pain of missing someone so bad, contrasted beautifully with the absolute awe of seeing them. if you’re gonna read a dnf meetup oneshot make it this one!!​

Rated M

Fit Like A Daydream *

By keepAPlaceForMe

Relationships: Foolish/Punz

Words: 37k

Why you should read it: i had never read Funz before BUt. this fic made me insane. its so good and im so invested in the Vegas lore thats developed in their Funz fics. mwah mwah mwah

~~~~~

whatever you make me (wherever you are)

By squigly

Relationships: DNF

Words: 24k

Why you should read it: 500 days of summer au!! so angsty and that makes it great. does true love really exist or are we just making it up because we want it so bad?? read to find out

~~~~~

Devil Town

By hooray

Relationships: SBI as a family, Karlnapity (background)

Words: 100k

Why you should read it: This one is for horror fans, its pretty creepy and atmospheric. Reminds me a lot of Stranger Things! If youre into SBI then I dont know what you’re doing if you havent read this

Rated E

thunder in vials *

By squigly

Relationships: DNF

Words: 8k

Why you should read it: punk band au! but like, not sanitized. very atmospheric. its just sex rocknroll and the harsh reality of drug addiction

~~~~~

to burn with desire and keep quiet

By falsettodrop

Relationships: DNF

Words: 47k

Why you should read it: i feel like this is the seminal george moves to florida dnf fic. if you havent already read it then read it before you start anything else. its just so good. a lot of meetup fics blend together for me which is why there arent many on this list, but this one is very memorable and impactful

[gerrydelano]

Ive only followed u for a little while so apologies if u've already said this but do u have any opinions on gerry and goth culture etc, like how it ties into their narrative? And do u have any goth bands u like or that u think gerry would listen to

For me i feel a little weird when people put gerry with emo stuff / dont know that goth is a music based subculture, that might come from growing up around goth elitists though haha

i MIGHT have mentioned it somewhere but i honestly also forget so let’s just speedrun it again aaaand this is not a speedrun oh no okay.

my general philosophy with gerry + subcultures is based in the fact that the only Anything that got a name put to it in canon was his mastodon t-shirt in 2002? lots of music gets called “death metal” when you don’t listen to it (or are, for example, perpetually falling and have no idea where you are and are also a theater nerd who probably doesn’t give a rip about that distinction anyway) and i have a hard time buying that leitner could properly identify someone’s specific subculture just based on their style. everybody who wears a lot of black is An Goth to old people who don’t know what any of the words mean.

so while i definitely do think goth obviously does work for his style and taste, i personally write him with a hefty serving of punk in there too, and music wise there are any number of possibilities. aster said once “for all we know he could be a metalhead,” and i think there’s some truth to that!

most of the times gerry has been described by other people, they’ve missed, assumed, or subtly misidentified something about him! it’s actually an interesting part of his character i really like a lot, because it gives some extra weight to the person he’s revealed to be when we finally get to hear him speak.

there’s a lot of room for interpretation basically is all i’m saying! and i’ve seen some really cool takes on it that i don’t really go with myself (there are just so MANY), but i see where they came from.

i personally don’t, like. go with the heavy goth makeup for him or have his clothes get very complicated because it feels like he doesn’t really have the time for that. for my gerry, punk is more where it’s at (DIY jackets and stuff, uses lace code on his boots, etc) but he does wear Almost Exclusively Black while doing it, sure. to each their own! not saying my way’s the only way or anything.

but i DO 100% agree with you that the emo music does not feel right dkfjhdj. please.

hard NO on the MCR, the joke is tired and i'm tired. aster said wisely, “he’s not a fan, it’s just something people play around him he nods his head to” and i agree Yep. he probably is like that about a Few of the bands that people throw on him here. not a bad sound! but he doesn’t know the song names or give a shit about the band, and he’s not going to remember to google it.

the guy was born in the ‘80s he’s got like. a little different of a music pool to splash around in than some of us really pay any attention to. it’s not bad music i just really don’t see him getting into the stuff that’s more well known around (american) teenagers-20somethings TODAY when he’d have found the stuff he liked way beforehand and fell down whatever pipelines came from it through that.

i think “if it hurts your head he probably loves it”, but also i think the general tone of it matters to him y’know like i don’t think he wants the sad dreary stuff ALL the time! i think he wants passion and Refusal and fight and the sometimes-paradoxical brightness you CAN find in the lyrics of some of the harsher sounding stuff. lover of contradiction. lover of also just annoying the shit out of people around him who he thinks won’t want to bother to understand. whatever music he likes into his 30s, i don’t think it’d be the sort that puts a romance to suffering.

venting is all well and good and surely something he’s done but i think if i were going to make his music such a big baseline for how he kept himself together all this time, kept his identity in check and gave him something to get excited about (“i’ll try to stick it out until X month next year because that’s when Y band is gonna release a new album and i want to hear it” — that stuff can actually save your fucking life sometimes, y’know?) then i would personally lean more towards something with more hope in it. hope and fire.

a more narratively impacting HC i have is that whether he chooses to hunt it down or not, he IS aware of and knows the words to a lot of mainstream pop shit among other maybe-unexpected things just because he travels so much and surely spent time in places that had their own music playing and you can’t always have headphones on when you go places. he has a wide array of useless knowledge and trivia and lyrics on hand just by pure osmosis.

i think Boredom, Curiosity, and Spite drive a lot of his littler habits and hobbies because my g-d what else is he doing. hanging out with friends? aha. ahahaaha. aaah ,,, :-I

(my) gerry likes all sorts of random ass international bands, too, because he’d have more exposure to THAT stuff, too, and also a reason to do some research just for fun. van canto is a german a capella metal band what the fuck that’s so cool. harmaja is also good, they’re finnish. i think if you put some SKÁLD on in front of him he WILL be choreographing a dramatic music video as he walks down the street to it. like, no, he’s not gonna download them but if he fell into a youtube autoplay rabbit hole while he got distracted with something else you know he would have like a solid weekend of being super into “some random french folk group that based their whole schtick on norse mythology.” he would totally have obscure kicks like that every now and then even if he has something more stable to return to for comfort later!

he’d also just be fine listening to some rock bands when they’re just On, etc, and there's probably stuff outside of A Set Genre he DOES enjoy because human beings aren’t just one-dimensional “i only like this specific thing always forever and everything else sucks” and i think he’s spoken enough in canon about his adherence to the notion that Everything Has A Grey Area that he’s not too pressed about it. he’s got his niche, totally! but he’s not completely boxing himself in, either. i think he probably has had Enough of feeling isolated and only exposed to one perspective that he actively seeks other experiences and tries to see what other people love about things he’s not immediately familiar with!

movies and television, too, for similar reasons! for something to DO when he's stuck in a hotel room or to have on as background noise when he’s restless, even if it strays out of favored genres. just. watch whatever’s on, or whatever he hasn’t seen before. he can scroll IMDB in his own brain, can recognize actors from the most obscure single appearances on a show with 20 seasons that he half-watched 4 years ago. ridiculous. hilarious.

in general that’s how i have him consume media BEYOND whatever music he uses to keep a tighter grasp on his identity, but i haven’t gotten too specific with artists and bands in anything i've published yet because it just hasn’t come up! the only band i've referenced by name in something i’d written before WAS the mastodon (i have a lot of feelings about how his attachment to the lifesblood EP in particular), but i tend to play it safe and use that as like a Starting Point if that makes sense?

other suggestions from my group chat were joy division, and like. as far as “off brand” bands go, he might like the killers well enough. i do think he'd like against me! because. punk rock, yeah, and also laura jane grace herself is just. somebody i think he’d really enjoy, from the perspective of also coming out as Gender later in life. she’s so cool,,,

i could see symphonic metal being enjoyable to him. within temptation is so strange but he’d vibe with it, especially since they were popular overseas first. the Drama of it all. apocalyptica is fun, so is sonata arctica. probably enjoys seether in the same way of like “digging it when it’s on, never bought an album himself, but DOES remember where he was the first time he heard Broken.” he knows the local scene in sweden. why is he singing along perfectly to this german song he doesn’t even speak german.

also because it happened to come up in the GC i’m also gonna paste this here but it was generally agreed upon, too, that like. with his “music taste and Fashion taste not necessarily being the same umbrella i feel like he’d love the aesthetics of glam rock and hairspray punk even though it wasn’t his favorite musically.” and he’d probably really love drawing people he's encountered with those aesthetics. i think he’s just appreciative of a lot of stuff out there even if it's not the CD he's gonna pop in to try and sleep to.

TL;DR - j summed it up pretty well just now with “i think gerry is a combo of ‘knows bands you’ve never heard of’ and ‘has never learned the name of the very popular universally known band you’re telling him about even if he recognizes the song.’ he likes the american idiot album but could not summon the name Green Day if you put a gun to his head.” and i just think that’s beautiful.

aster just said the best thing, too, about how i said he tries to branch out on purpose: “it may be your first week in this country and maybe you dont speak the language but that cool girl with the leather jacket bought you an iced tea so all is right with the world. like it doesnt make ppl more likely to help him or anything but it makes very specific people more likely to i guess? sense of community even in transit”

and j responded: “i think that fits well on the fact that punk and its adjacents are so community focused, so if anyone was going to give him experiences like that, being alone and having a stranger stand up for you in some little way before you both move on, it would probably be the alts around the world. just like his genres are all over the place, he wouldn’t probably call himself goth but the attraction to alt and it’s media was basically nurture for him so he was always gonna land there”

that’s the shit it comes down to!!!! matters way more to him than being an elitist about specific artists, i think.

[fen1s]

Lmaoo so there is this one tweet that actually describes what I really think the insane mauruaders stans and the tweet goes : some of yall heard one fucking word and now yall can't stop saying it (and it's like a reference to those fuckers who say gatekeep, gaslight, toxic but for everything and they act its profound or some shit). I think they um definetly saw those words and deadass went let's be eco friendly and reuse the same arguments and everyone else went yes. And when there was a genuine difference of opinion they go to their backup response : by supporting this element or seeing their pov you are ( anti Semitic /racist / homophobic) and it's just like :you are aware the same people exist in this community right???

(also I really find it funny that some of them literally don't think the mauruaders won't fucking hate crime them, no ma'am they will hate crime you and then proceed to get the slap on the wrist, they are the reasons your school has anti bullying week [also lmaoo pandering to them makes to be in the 'group' makes all of you Peter Pettigrew you know the same dude you all decided to ignore] )

And then I have to remind myself that there will be one of them who will raise kids and try to be 'jily' parents which I assume is living vicariously through your child because God you peaked in highschool and you won't shut the fuck up about it (and lack any fucking development) which is consistent with Canon so hey it does work out. Also like who's gonna pay for your child's therapy when they realize people who are dickish to you are simply just dickish and no why do you think this is an enemies to lovers trope (and also for their kids dry ass personality which they got from their parents because ik they would want them to be constantly involved but like gym teacher with a kid who's into slight sports and now the kid has to try to get in the national team lol)

Like I need them to have a snape attitude towards kids which was very much : fuck them kids ( and I honestly couldn't agree more to.)

Hey so if you're a fan of the m*rauders and this appears in the general tag, im sorry, i tagged the post correctly but sometimes the tagging system doesnt filter content correctly, but just so yall know, below the read more will be content that is very m*rauder critical which yall may not like or may be upset by. this is a fair warning

It's genuinely frustrating how often they repeat the same arguments as if we care. like we know snape isnt a kind person and we know he doesnt make the best or morally correct decisions, but they never hold other characters to a remotely similar standard that they hold snape to

they like characters due to popularity and how much they can add in headcanons, we know almost nothing about the marauders era, so they can make their own universe independent of the harry potter plot line, but they dont actually give a shit about the canon characterizations we already have

the m*rauders are not canonically progressive, their bullying of snape isn't coming from a progressive stance. they literally only bully him because they think hes weird. there isnt any canon evidence that they went after students who were actively causing harm to others, such as avery and mulciber (two boys who actively were attacking muggleborn students), they never went after regulus despite the fact that je was outspokenly supportive of voldemort to the point where regulus basically had a fucking shrine dedicated to him, there isnt any canon evidence that they went after any other junior death eater. there is canon evidence that they attacked random kids simply for annoying them. there is canon evidence that they used illegal hexes on students that had the risk of causing permanent bodily damage. and i think the real nail on the coffin for the idea that the m*rauders only went after snape due to him being a wannabe death eater is something sirius literally says

this means that even during the war, the m*rauders didnt suspect snape of being a death eater, let ALONE when they were at school

they also just think all snape fans are white straight cis women who obsess over the "always 🥺" line. like they dont take into account POC fans, lgbtq+ fans, nonbinary or trans fans, jewish fans, poor fans, disabled fans, neurodivergent fans. they paint us all with the "you never read the books you just want to fuck alan rickman" brush and call it a day so they dont actually have to engage with us despite constantly coming into our spaces

also it BOTHERS me how they'll call snape a n@zi and then turn around and say "awe james was just a bit of a jerk !! 🥺🥺" bestie he was an actual genuine sadist who got off on bullying and sexually assaulting kids he deemed weird. like sorry to the alt m*rauder kinnies, but if you're punk, emo, goth whatever james potter would've bullied the absolute hell out of you. canonically. sirius literally defends his bullying of snape by calling him an oddball, yall dont think you would've been on the other end of their bullying?

[khaleesiofalicante]

I'm so ready for this chapter

I'm a simple person. I see David, I get automatically happy. I'm a little late cause yesterday I couldn't find the time, but here I am once again:

"The London Institute stood before him, all glorious and redeemed – once again holding a beautiful love story of its own." Its only the beginning and David thinking poetry is my reason to live. ALSO, YESSS LONDON INSTITUTE

Ah yes, Kit running the London Institute is just amazing

"At moments like this, David wished he had magic too. He wished he could protect Max from all the people who tried to hurt him. He had seen the way people had hurt Max’s brother and his father. He would never let that happen to Max." My heart beats in Mavid!!

“Are you two sharing a room?”  “I won’t tell the Consul," And " He didn’t think sharing a room with his son would do him any favours." had me laughing so hard ���😂

"It was not easy to get accepted into Columbia University, but Rafael had managed since he was one of the smartest people David knew." I'm so proud of my baby!! 🥺🥺

“I bought you some scones.”jseyjwiwjdh 😏

"He was in David’s arms. His face buried in David’s neck." OH MY GOD. I JUST CANT WITH TO MUCH CUTENESS!!

Ok, I won't quote it but the scene where David saw the portraits is just so beautiful like... Ugh I love my Herondales and David so much!!

Okayy, I dont know who this guy is, so I'll keep my mind open

"Because I know you, David wanted to say. I just wish I knew what’s in your heart too." Ysgsksubdn THIS!  Could I possibly love David more than I love him already??

"Of course I do. My Bapa would be personally offended otherwise.” Yup, I can confirm it

"Max often pretended like people’s words didn’t hurt him - just as he pretend that fire doesn’t burn or wounds don’t bleed.

But David knew, just beyond the surface, Max burned and bled like everyone else.

Despite his reputation as a ‘drama queen’ Max never let other people see his pain. He used humour and theatrics to hide it away." I feel this on a personal level

The mundane illnesses around shadowhunters is getting me worried ngl

"Until that, their only hope was Catarina Loss. David hoped someone sent that woman a fruit basket every single day for she went above and beyond to help shadowhunters affected by the mundane illnesses." She is such a Queen. Just. RESPECT

"Jackson Hayward" Mmm, I feel like I should know that name but I dont remember

KITTY CONTENT IS JUST *CHEF KISS*

“I’m not judging,” David smiled as he adjusted Max’s beanie. “You look very cute.” Max,’s cheeks turned purple again. David wondered why. He wondered if it had something to do with him. (David, I love you, but seriously???)

"Of course, the 'fun' mostly entailed Rafael stopping Georgia from drinking random potions she found in the stalls, Selena stopping Lexi from opening a psychic booth to help people talk to Raziel and of course David stopping Max from running to the gambling booths." 😂 I love how Selena, Rafael and David are the responsables and Max, Gigi and Lexi are the chaotic ones

THE GRUPO CHAT 😂😂😂

“Perhaps an unpublished snippet from the Beautiful Cordelia?” and “I do have a correspondence between an Iblis demon and Christopher Lightwood" just got me like: 😮😮

Oh god the necklace!!

"Most importantly, he didn’t want to cover his scar. He didn’t want to hide it. He wasn’t ashamed of it. It wasn’t a mark of a victim. It was the mark of a survivor." I'm so proud of David 💙

“I never wanted to be protected,” David had replied. “I only ever wanted to be loved.” 💙💙 this just hits so much

"Magnus Bane carried so much love inside himself you could literally feel it through him." YEAH, I would like to add this to the book of the two million reasons why I love Magnus Bane

That escalated quickly. Like... Jackson hit Max? And David hit Jackson? What?

“This is what I get for falling for a Lightwood-Bane,” I mean... Honey you knew what you were getting into

“I do love it when the quiet ones go feral," and “David! Is your hand okay?” just describes Magnus and Jace perfectly 😂

“Well, technically they are residents of the institute,” Tiberius pushed back his glasses. “So, as the Head of the insti-” “Babe, no!” Kit shushed his boyfriend. (OH GOD THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL!! 💙)

“It’s alright, Chouchou,” Mr Herondale ran a hand through David’s hair. “Next time, just-” “Use my words?” David asked. “Just don’t get caught,” the man winked. “Jace!” the Consul hissed. “What do you want me to say to him, Alec?” the man demanded. “Be nice? This is David we are talking about! You can’t get nicer than this!” “David, I appreciate you standing up for Max,” the Consul said. “But next time, please try not to punch anyone in the face.” “Yes, sir,” David nodded. “Because it’s wrong.” “Because it means more paperwork for me,” the Consul groaned and then straightened up. “But yes. Absolutely. Very wrong. No punching people!” (I'm sorry, I just had to quote all of it cause I laughed way to hard😂)

I knew that name was familiar!! Oh, god this is a plot twist. Oh my precious boy must be protected at all cost!!! HE DESERVES HAPPINES!

"It made David want to kiss him. But then the Consul spoke, and David reminded himself he didn’t want to be the third person to get punched in the face this evening." David fearing Alec never fails to make me laugh 😂😂

But if he tries to hurt you-” “You will unleash hell?” David chuckled. “Worse,” the other man grinned. “I will unleash Lexi.” It was definitely much worse. (Hell yeah, she is amazing!)

FUCK, now I want to protect Jackson with my whole soul  from the nightmares and everything else🥺🥺

Wow. I feel like I should quote lots of things from all that scene, but its just that it was all so amazing and I wouldn't finish. Like... The story, telling each other their past, talking about therapy. (Kit is right, shadowhunter need therapy!!) They would really be an amazing group

Also, David reading to Jackson was so wholesome 🥺🥺 and the whole scene was deep and beautiful!!

Yess, my boys going to therapy giving priority to their mental health is my sterotonine supply

"Well, I hope it works out well for you,” Jackson grinned. “What is that supposed to mean?” “You know what it means,” Jackson grinned harder. “Also, if that wanker tries to break your heart, I will break his face.” “You know he is the Consul’s son?” David giggled.“I’ve done it once and I will do it again,” Jackson shrugged. “He better treat you right.” “Stop it!” David had blushed and hugged him tighter, saying goodbye once more. (I STAN THIS FRIENDSHIP!!)

"Selena had broken the news that she was enrolling into Scholomance next month.This family was his soul." YESS, SELENA IS A QUEEN

"After the twins went to bed, David stepped out of the institute and went looking for his heart." ajkeyejdodj he is just to pure 🥺🥺

"At first it had felt odd. A little unsteady. And then somewhere along the way, Max’s heartbeat had become the steadiest thing in David’s life. Max, with all his chaos and drama and danger, had become the steadiest thing in David’s life." Thanks, I'm emo 🥺💙💙

"Even if Max loved him…Could Max possibly love him as much David loved the other boy?" MY HEART!!

"His love for Max was endless and impossible. Did Max love him like that? Impossibly?" JDHWJSUDH🥺🥺

“Maxwell Lightwood-Bane,” David whispered. “Love is your birth right.”

"One minute he had been laughing at the portal, his heart full of pride. The next, he was in Max’s arms, kissing the other boy." HOLY SHIT THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL!! ALL OF IT!! AND DAVID FALLING TO THE POND? *LOTS OF CHEF KISSES*

UGH I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO MUCH AND I COULD GO EXPLAINING EVERYTHING, BUT IT WOULD MAKE THIS WAY LONGER THAT IT ALREAY IS

Anyway, David is beautiful. I stan Mavid and we love Jackson 💙💙

This was so beautiful. I love how much you and appreciate David 🥺 It makes so emotional send help 😭😭😭😭

Also this is David Tiktok 🤣🤭😎

[thisplace-ishaunted]

20 Writer Questions Tag!

Thank you @yours-eternally-ao3 <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

32. One is a podfic and one is a commentary. So, 30 unique works.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

70,576

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

uh, 2? I guess? Motionless in White and now, recently, Midnight Mass.

Other tagged fandoms include crossover characters Tim (tagged Tim Skold and Manson Band [for visibility's sake]), Ville (tagged HIM), and crossover concepts stolen from Deathnote.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Fleeting (emo ricky texting chris)

2. Playing Chess, Not Checkers (trans!vin video for Ricky)

3. Helpless (toxic chris manipulating dummy ricky)

4. Sike (justin/chris in the shower)

5. I'll Help You Fall Down With Me (riley/john dubcon)

Honestly this is shocking for me! Especially because I dont feel like Fleeting is all that popular?? Idk. Thanks for the kudos on Helpless tho, I'm really proud of that one and I am glad that ppl like it.

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Usually! If I haven't responded, it is usually because I just forgot :P sorry

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

lmao I think Helpless steals the show on this one.

Chris smearing Ricky's blood across his face is pretty fuckin angsty I think

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

awwwww I think Hold Me Close :)

8. Do you write crossovers? If yes, what’s the craziest thing you’ve written?

See the question regarding tags, ig. I LOVE my deathnote concept but its a fic about SH so i understand why people wouldnt want to read it.

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

nope. I am pretty lucky

10. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

uh, have you met me? I only write smut to the point when I try to write anything that isn't smut it is either extremely difficult or it ends up being gory which just reads like smut lmao

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, I think so?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

No, but I think that eventually @ao3userfeistycadavers will manage to get our shit together and co write something and maybe the universe will implode a little bit bc our power is too strong

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

In general? Eclare from degrassi because I am trash.

That i've written? Probably Chris/Justin.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I started a Cricky sharps play one a while ago but that is definitely abandoned. And a Ryan/Justin alien probing one, but I still don't think I liked the idea enough to ever finish writing it. I think I am pretty good at sticking with something I like until I finish it

16. What’s your writing strengths?

uh

I think I have some pretty unique concepts and characterizations. Not all of my ideas are unique, but some of them definitely are. (examples being: Can't Find No Heaven [sourthern gothic serial killer boyfriends Ryan/chris], lightly manipulative and overprotective Chris in Helpless, and demon Tim in Angel Of Small Death.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Describing the same people over and over again (cough chris cough), I tend to use the same descriptive phrases to describe their appearance. A specific example being I always describe how Chris' short hair (like he has now) tends to fall forward into his face. I don't do it intentionally but I catch myself and It is so aggravating!

Also I think I overthink things when I write them. I try to write when I am intoxicated occasionally and I think it really helps me to get out of my critical brain and just let it happen. (I think two of my anon fics were written when I was drunk? And the ville/ricky one was definitely)

18. What’s your thought on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

n/a

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

miw

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

This may be unexpected, but Can't Find No Heaven. I feel like it really packs a punch, which considering they are very tiny vignettes, Is quite a task. I didn't think I would be as proud of them as I am!

I don't think I have anyone to tag that Alex hasn't already. Do this if youre interested! <3. I know everyone likes to shout about their own writing.

If any of you ever have any questions about any of my fics, or want to ask questions about details in my AU's, please send me an ask! I would love to discuss further.

[hecksupremechips]

I’m gonna have a nerdy rant about video games please excuse me (zero escape spoilers)

K so my fave game series I’ve become obsessed with is zero escape, aka a weird bullshit series where the fandom is both small and dead as shit. Yay. And I just finished the last game, zero time dilemma. I wasn’t initially gonna play this game just cuz I heard it was kinda bad, but the ending to vlr had me curious. Plus it had Junpei in it and, well, I think he’s neat :)

But aaaaaaa

Yeah it was bad. Ill go over the good things though. I thought the escape rooms were like challenging without being toooo challenging. They were a good medium between the 999 and vlr puzzles. I liked them. I also really liked the D team a lot. Luna was one of my favorite vlr characters so it’s kinda natural I liked Diana a lot too. I also thought Sigma and Phi were really good in this game. I wasn’t to crazy about either of them in the second game but like. They’re cute in this game. And even though they’re "getting together" situation was kinda iffy, I think Sigma and Diana were cute together. The only valid het couple in this series. I’m kinda indifferent about the whole twist where Phi is their daughter. I don’t hate it, and I think it was cool how it was foreshadowed in vlr, but I think it makes some dynamics weird. Personally, I think Sigma and Phi would have a better siblings relationship but eh

Now let’s get into the bad, even though there’s so much that I physically cannot go over all of it. Idk where to even start. First off, the art style and designs had like no heart. Like everyone has interesting designs (one might even say too interesting) in the first two games. In ztd though, everyone was boring as shit. Junpei went from cool Marty McFly trans king to emo middle schooler. HE WAS LITERALLY IN JUST A BLACK SHIRT AND BLACK JEANS GOD. I’m gonna save him for later though. I’m just disappointed. Also the art style was bleh. I thought it looked nice on the cover, and I was also really excited cuz I read that there were "animated cutscenes". Y’all. Ugh. The cutscenes ended up being like the whole game. I was just watching it all go by and I couldn’t skip any dialogue without accidentally skipping important stuff. Not only that, there was no heart in it at all. I’d argue that the 3D models looked better in this game than in vlr (I’m personally not into how they changed to 3D but that’s a rant for another day), but the models in vlr had GREAT emotions! They had zero emotion in this game. I hated it. Thankfully the voice actors were able to add emotion but damn

Next is the characters. Needle to say, I didn’t enjoy most of them. I liked everyone on D team, the end. First of all, freaking Carlos. Talk about boring. Like god maybe I would’ve liked his design if he wasn’t wearing the button up and also maybe wore like any other pants aaaa. Also like hm. He uh, sure liked his sister. In a concerning way. Like it wasn’t a super obviously bad thing but every time romance was mentioned he’d be like "I don’t need romance, I have my sister!" Do you see what I mean? It’s sketchy to me.

Then we got Eric 👺👺👺. I hated this guy. First off he’s like a ripoff of Kristoph from frozen, without the fun himbo personality. And the whole time he was thirsting after Mira which ughhhh. They were worse than Junpei and Akane in 999. Maybe I’m just too gay for this shit but ughh. Also it was a thing that was pretty well established thing that his father was abusive but like. It didn’t really...mean jack shit? Honestly nothing about Eric’s character mattered, he was pretty irrelevant. Also he was super super shitty to Sean who was literally a fucking child

Then Mira. How disappointing aaaagh. Like they were literally just like "oh here’s this chick that has committed murder, this isn’t relevant at all :)". Like damn they really just had her be completely unnecessary huh. It was super obvious to me that she was the one who killed Eric’s mom and I thought that would’ve come up but. It just didn’t. I was also curious about their relationship in general since it seemed like she only got with Eric so she could kill him. And god they could’ve at least done something like idk. Make her like Dio and break into the game to cuz trouble. Or she could’ve been zero. Maybe that’s lazy but it would have been better. But no they literally did nothing with her. There was a timeline where she brutally murdered Junpei just like, for no reason I guess??? Jesus

Sean and Akane were characters I’m just meh about. I didn’t hate Sean, but I didn’t really like him either. Akane was never really my gal in 999 in the first place so hm. I think she’s funny but she’s done some sketchy stuff and idk I’d probably like her better if the games weren’t always trying to put her with Junpei every five minutes

Then there was Junpei. Ughhhh. They were trying something but ughh. He was very emo and kinda douchey and I just wasn’t into him. Which is a massive shame cuz I liked him a lot in 999, and especially in vlr. Like all I can say is that it’s a real disappointment for me

Now onto plot holes and things that didn’t get covered that should have. As previously mentioned, they didn’t do anything with Mira at all. They also didn’t properly go over Sigma and Diana’s relationship that Sigma had vaguely talked about that happened in another timeline. Carlos’s sister was not important at all and they threw in some "she’s got the mind abilities" bullshit in without really doing anything with it. The timeline shit made my brain turn into goo aaaa. We dont get closure on how the pandemic was stopped, which was the reason I played this fucking game. We didn’t learn jack shit about the third nonary game. And then of course, there’s fucking DELTA

This filled me with so much rage y’all. The game was just like "oh yeah btw there was this random old man who was just there the ENTIRE TIME that never got acknowledged ever and he’s the big bad villain of the game. Not just that, he’s the founder of the crazy cult from vlr. AND he’s Diana and Sigmas kid!" Like wow you know I don’t think words can describe how bad that was. I think things would’ve been better if he just like wasn’t there yeah. Also I guess he’s supposed to be like, the player cuz he mind controls the characters into making certain choices. Ugh. IT WAS SO STUPID MAN. And I guess the only ONLY reason he made the second nonary game was to make sure he was born which is just eghhhmm. That is too messy for me. That’s some bad time bullshit. And weird reason but okay. God

There’s literally so much more I have to say but if I don’t I’m gonna pass out so I’m just gonna take a nap and die. Moral of the story is that I’m pissed a series I loved ended so shitty and don’t play this game unless you hate yourself. The end

[e-uph0r1a]

Cadmium yellow, hansa yellow, yellow ochre, titans, ruby, rose, quinacridone rose, cobalt blue spectral, ultramarine, blue, prussian azure, mars brown, indigo, payne’s gray. Love you<3

cadmium yellow; when you think of the word “happy” what’s the first thing that comes to mind?: music

hansa yellow; what’s your guilty pleasure song? im mature now to not feel "guilty" because of what i listen to, so i dont have one

yellow ochre; name an artist/band whom you just discovered & can’t get enough of!: txt and stray kids

titans; do you prefer slow mornings or relaxing evenings?: relaxing evenings

ruby; what does your ideal first date look like?: i dont have one, maybe doing something me and the other person likes

rose; what’s something really positive going on in your life right now?: im learning to heal with therapy about my abuse

quinacridone rose; what’s something you’re really looking forward to?: getting a job so i can save money to travel to Korea

cobalt blue spectral; what is the most beautiful place you have ever been to?: Mendoza, Argentina

ultramarine; when was the last time you were in a good mood? do you know/remember what sparked it?: idk yesterday? for no particular reason

blue; what’s the most recent dream you remember?: i watched porn in my dream today and jerked off lol i think i even got an orgasm while sleeping

prussian azure; what’s your favorite scent?: i love citrics

mars brown; what’s a movie that always puts a smile on your face/makes you laugh?: School of Rock, Along Came Polly, Superbad

indigo; what’s the best/sweetest compliment you have ever received?: recently, that i look like "the korean boys you always post pictures of" (about my instagram stories)

payne’s gray; describe your aesthetic?: i dont think i have one, i like minimalist stuffs, spooky things, emo stuffs and kawaii shit at the same time.

thanks for sending these love u too!

watercolor asks

[thecheesebar]

I also saw your exchange ship and 👀🤌🏼✨

I struggled a bit with deciding because I could ship you with all of them, but I think I ship you the most with Hueningkai, I feel like you would have a fun dynamic together. I think you could make him w bit shy with you being older and young hearted at the same time 🥺

Personality wise, I am like a little kid with a battery. I am very energetic around close friends, and I am 100% the loud annoying friend that won’t shut up sometimes. Although, like I said I have a battery, and when that happens I take a full 180 and go silent. In other words, I am either like a child or the emo kid that wants to hermit. I am also very honest and passionate about doing what I want (I dont fall for peer pressure or others judging my lifestyle) Some words to describe me are: sassy, sarcastic, loud, calm, creative, stubborn, and Gemini lmao. For hobbies, I like to watch anime/kdramas, listen to Kpop and alternative/chill music, paint/draw, and read.

Ship exchange for anonymous

First off thanks so much for the compliments on my exchange ships!! And sorry for taking a while 😖 I was busy with work all week, but now it’s the weekend and like Taeyeon says, when the weekend comes I can do whatever I want🦩🦩🦩 . Anyways onto your ship!

I ship you with...

Soobin

Soobin isn’t super loud so I think the fact that you are, compliments that aspect of him and you being loud would definitely unleash his more talkative side. And omg the sarcasm. This boy can also be sarcastic so I think you two would have a good time joking together and you really would understand each other’s humor. Honestly though he seems to be the type to just admire his s/o. For example, if you’re going on about your favorite drama, anime, or just something you’re genuinely passionate about, he seems to be the type to just sit back and admire you, thinking to himself how much he loves how into topics you get. He would definitely pick up on you running out of battery and wouldn’t mind spending a whole day with you inside doing nothing. The fact that you’re just yourself and don’t particularly care what others think would always amaze him.

Thanks so much for requesting I hope it was worth the wait 😊 have a wonderful day!!! ✨⭐️✨

[theycallmegothboy]

1-100 >:DDDD REVENGE!!!

FELIXXXXXXXXXXXX >:(( 1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?  -spotify  2. is your room messy or clean? -it’s pretty messy i guess  3. what color are your eyes? -blue and grey

4. do you like your name? why? -yeah it’s fine 5. what is your relationship status? -single 6. describe your personality in 3 words or less -certified intrusive thot 7. what color hair do you have? -brown and rn it’s red 8. what kind of car do you drive? color? -i dont have a car 9. where do you shop? -hot topic, goodwill, target 10. how would you describe your style? -comfy emo 11. favorite social media account -of mine, probably discord or youtube 12. what size bed do you have? -twin >:(( 13. any siblings? -i have 1.5 brothers  14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? -probably vancouver, idk canada seems lit 15. favorite snapchat filter? -i like the one with devil horns and a tail but its cute 16. favorite makeup brand(s) -i dont wear makeup 17. how many times a week do you shower? -i used to shower every day, but i dont do anything that gets me dirty so like maybe 3 times but if i leave the house then i shower 18. favorite tv show? -stranger things 19. shoe size?  -8 or 9 20. how tall are you? -5′6 with shoes >:(( 21. sandals or sneakers? -sneakers wtf 22. do you go to the gym? -lol no 23. describe your dream date -making some pie or something together and then eating the pie and then sitting on some rooftop looking at stars 24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? -quite a bit actually but i’m saving up for a phone lol so soon it will be like maybe 10 dollars lmao 25. what color socks are you wearing? -not wearing socks but the ones i had earlier were white (ankle length) 26. how many pillows do you sleep with? -just one but it sucks 27. do you have a job? what do you do? -NO BUT IM TRYING TO GET A JOB BUT THE FUCKIN PEOPLE THERE ARE GHOSTING ME AND WONT REPLY TO MY EMAILS SO LIKE SBJHBJS 28. how many friends do you have? -like 4 lmao 29. whats the worst thing you have ever done? -idk nothing super bad but i do a lot of small shit that makes me feel guilty when i realize what i did 30. whats your favorite candle scent? -juniper rosewood 31. 3 favorite boy names -leo, clay, charlie 32. 3 favorite girl names -ivy, uh... idk thats all ive got 33. favorite actor? -no clue 34. favorite actress? -no clue 35. who is your celebrity crush? -not a celeb but i’d smash danny phantom 36. favorite movie? -nightmare before christmas or edward scissorhands 37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? -no, but my fav book is probably the prince and the pauper? idk 38. money or brains? -CASH MONEYYYY jk probably brains but if your entire personality is being “smart” like fuck off lmao   39. do you have a nickname? what is it? - a bunch of people call me son (see #49, #100), some call me rat, dumdum, goth boy

40.how many times have you been to the hospital? -just once i think when i was birthed. i also went once with my brother cause he kicked some scissors i left out on the floor and it sliced his toe the fuck open and he needed stitches and i watched him get the stitches and almost passed out :/ 41. top 10 favorite songs -please dont make me do this i dont have it in me 42. do you take any medications daily? -yea i take 20mg of vyvanse but i need to get it raised to 30 cause 20 is Not Enough 43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) -i got some dry fuckin skin yall dont even know 44. what is your biggest fear?  -it depends. the dark is a pretty constant one though 45. how many kids do you want? -like 2 or 3 eventually 46. whats your go to hair style? -in my face, looking stupid 47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)  -it’s pretty small 48. who is your role model? -i dont fuckin know lmao  49. what was the last compliment you received? - “i belive in you, my son, you’re an amazing human being“ (same friend mentioned in #100, not actually a parent of mine) 50. what was the last text you sent? -”no it’s a raccoon“ YOU GET NO CONTEXT LMAO 51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? -i dont think i ever hardcore believed in him, maybe i did though i remember sleeping under the tree one christmas eve waiting for him but i was like “oh yeah that makes sense“ i guess 52. what is your dream car?  -i honestly dont give a shit as long as it actually fucking works 53. opinion on smoking? -cigarettes? fuck no that’s nastyyy. weed? that’s fine i guess but wait till you’re like 18.  54. do you go to college? -no. am sophomore n highschool 55. what is your dream job?  -musician/palentologist 56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?  -fuck the suburbs lmao, but also im tired of rural, so like.. semi urban?? 57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?  -no but i take the little soaps >:)) 58. do you have freckles?  -yes 59. do you smile for pictures? -awkwardly, yes 60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?  -dont have a phone but i have like 12 on my computer currently. 4 are of me, the rest are of my cat or random shit 61. have you ever peed in the woods?  -yes 62. do you still watch cartoons?  -cartoons these days kinda suck but like if they were good fuck yeah i would like gravity falls can come hang yknow? 63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? -i had nuggets from mcdonalds today so i guess them? i dont really care 64. Favorite dipping sauce?  -i got sweet and sour but i dont like it that much. that schezuan sauce was great 65. what do you wear to bed?  -wouldnt you like to know? ;))  66. have you ever won a spelling bee?  -NO ive only been in two. the first one i misspelled the word “turmoil“ cause i had never heard it before and the second one i spelled the word “owed“ as “ode“ cause i was thinking like ode to joy and then i felt like a big Fool afterwards :(( 67. what are your hobbies? -lol what hobbies 68. can you draw?  -i am physically able to draw, but not well, no 69 (haha). do you play an instrument? -yeah i play a few 70. what was the last concert you saw?  -i saw Chicago in either georgia or tennessee i cant remember in like 2016 71. tea or coffee? -hot coffee, iced tea. NOT the other way around. (i love both though) 72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? -starbucks 73. do you want to get married? -sure why not 74. what is your crush’s first and last initial? -dont have a crush 75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?  -idk maybe 76. what color looks best on you?  -i dont know but i wear black a lot and that’s pretty dope 77. do you miss anyone right now? -yeah  78. do you sleep with your door open or closed? -closed 79. do you believe in ghosts? -on the fence. not 100% “oh my god look at these gHoSt oRbS i need to sage my house!!!“ but i accept that there’s some things i wont understand about the world and that i have no answers to. i wouldnt be surprised if there are, and i wouldnt be surprised if there aren’t. 80. what is your biggest pet peeve? -whatever my adhd decides i viscerally hate with a firey passion right at that moment  81. last person you called -my brother (the 1 of the 1.5 from #13 and the one who sliced his toe in #40) 82. favorite ice cream flavor?  -chocolate is dope 83. regular oreos or golden oreos?  -regular double stuff. if you say golden, mint, peppermint, or thin oreos i’m gonna have to euthanize you, i dont make the rules.  84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? -rainbow cause it’s prettier  85. what shirt are you wearing?  -queen shirt from hot topic 86. what is your phone background? -i didnt get a phone between question 60 and now but my computer one is some mountains with the moon in the background 87. are you outgoing or shy? -really depends on who i’m around 88. do you like it when people play with your hair? -YES FUCK AAAAAAA (this girl played with my hair literally once in middle school and i was like oh shit and i had a crush on her until the end of middle school true story,,, so ashley if you’re out there-) 89. do you like your neighbors? -to the left they’re fine and their dog is nice but idk what happened to the horses so that’s sus but that’s where our cat came from so they can hang  guess, behind me they’re fine but their boys are loud, to the right they’re fine, and even further to the right are the dope neighbors and waaaaaaaaaay far to the right is a llama and he’s dope as hell 90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? -whenever the fuck i remember to/have the energy 91. have you ever been high?  -i dont think so but i wouldnt put it past myself 92. have you ever been drunk?  -not that i can remember, no 93. last thing you ate?  -sloppy joe from a can 94. favorite lyrics right now -”not gonna waste my life, cause i’ve been fucked up“ 95. summer or winter?  -fall. fuck you 96. day or night?  -night but i like it when it’s actually night and it doesnt get dark at like 4 fucking pm cause that makes me depressed 97. dark, milk, or white chocolate? -dark is good, milk is fine, white is only suitable for fancy stripes on chocolate covered strawberries 98. favorite month?  -i vibe with september 99. what is your zodiac sign -sagittarius (was almost a scorpio but i was holding out >:))) 100. who was the last person you cried in front of?  -in person, my mom like 6 months ago, on a discord call, my friend (i love you by the way, you’re the best,,, i dont think he has tumblr but im just putting it out there) like a month or so ago. i hate crying in front of people, i turn into such a hyperventilating snot monster which is not suitable for human gaze and thats the real tea :/

felix this took like 2 hours of my life i will never get back i hate you and i hope you’re happy with what you’ve done <3 <3

also anyone who wants to stalk me, enjoy this information that im handing to you on a silver platter :)) <3

[deadly-cipher]

Dear Alternative Community Gatekeepers, Stop

Alternative is not a label which you can give to one 'group' of people. alternatives are non conformists who have no social group. you cant recognise an alternative person by what they wear or look like, so dont try to. they dont all wear the same clothes (like moshers, chavs, goths, indies or any other group of people who try to be individual but all seem to like the same stuff, wear the same clothes and only listen to music which their friends like). alternative people enjoy listening to whatever the hell they like, because they dont just like one type of music, they may just enjoy music on a whole, or it may just depend what kind of a mood they are in to what kind of music they listen too at that time. although this term is based around mysic it also applys to clothes as i said above many groups try to all wear the same stuff in order to fit in, alternatives wear whatever they like, if its designer, and they like it, they will wear it. if its got the name of a band on, and they like it, they will wear it. if there is a song which is by slipnot, and they like it, they will listen to it. if there is a song, which is by eminem, they will listen too it. Punk is not about a certain hair colour, style, or music, although music does take a large part in most punks lives.  Punk is about liking what you like, being yourself, saying what you think and FUCK ALL THE REST.  You don't need a two foot high red mohawk to be a punk, although that is wicked cool. You don't need sleeves, a backpiece, or any tattoos at all to be punk. You don't need a Misfits, Casualties, Sex Pistols or any band like that jacket to be punk. You don't need anything to be punk except for awareness, self respect, respect for others and an open mind. A Goth is someone who sees beauty in the dark side of life. Today's society is focused on negating darkness because it is associated with evil. Think about it - in almost every fairy tale, who is the antagonist? The brunette. Who is the protagonist? The blonde. Dark is evil, evil is bad, and therefore we should wipe all trace of it from our lives. Unfortunately, that's simply not possible. No matter how hard society tries, people still die. Day turns into night. Love becomes loss. It's a fact of life. So while everyone else is denying an entire half of life, the Goths embrace ALL of life, good and bad. Goths understand that the best and most lasting joy is tinged with a little sadness, and that all love is bittersweet. Goths understand that not everybody has to be happy 24/7, and that the way to succeed is not by pretending you are. Sunlit skies are beautiful, yes, but so are dark cloudy ones. What is white without black? What is a rose without thorns? Thus, by embracing the shadows as well as the sun, Goths are, in many cases, actually more emotionally healthy than those in mainstream society.  Emo is an emotional person. They are not depressed all the time and some are acually very happy at times. They do smile, they don't sit in a corner crying all day. Some are actually quite popular and laugh and joke around lots. NB: Emo does not mean the person cuts themselves, they might but that is not why they're emo. The word "scene" coves a large spectrum throughout recent history, but its most modern definition is used to describe certian subcultures and movements. The most notoriously famous and targeted is the alternative music scene, or more specifically, branches of the alternative music scene such as hardcore, indie, fashoionxcore, etc. A breed of scenesters (people on the scene) has begun to come to the forefront. These scenesters are usually very music-savvy and loyal to a few specific genres (typically hardcore, metal, indie, retro, 80's new wave, classic rock, etc. to name a few), of which they dress to exemplify. It is hard to pin down a style for a scene male or female, considering the trends amongst them vary from coast to coast, and certian fads come in and out within their ranks. Typically, though, many scene kids will have facial piercings, tattoos, and longer hair. It is not unusual to see teased hair with long bangs on males, or short fauxhawks (a mohawk without the sides shaved, a fashion-friendly version) on females. It is almost a throwback to the revolution of Britian's glam era, very androgynous and fresh. Scenesters take a lot of pride in their overall image, and often they appreciate shock value. Oftentimes they are thrifty, employing their abilities as bargian-hunters and do-it-yourself gurus to do something unique with their style. Large vintage sunglasses, retro patterns, tight jeans, classic metal/band tees, plastic jewelry, and heavy eye makeup are just some of the incorperations into scene style for either sex. This style and showmanship is at its height during shows (concerts), where often scene kids will meet their friends and size up strangers who visit their turf. There indeed is competition among scenesters...sometimes friendly, sometimes not. Shows are in fact not just concerts, but often a means of socialization for those on the scene. Those people who partake in scene lifestyle often choose to date/socialize only with those like them, which can cause bitterness or rejection to outsiders. The music scene is often associated with other areas that scenesters are interested in, which is liekely, art, photography, creative writing, poetry, tattoos & piercings, civil rights, animal rights, etc. Many scene kids have strong beliefs about these things and consider those who do not to be "posers." They feel that their scene style is not only a fashion statement, but an all-encompassing lifestyle. Many scene kids incorperate their future plans into their lifestyle, going into careers such as journalism, photography, artistry, piercing, tattooing, working for magazines, being musicians, hairstylists, running venues and/or coffee shops, etc. This tends to cause scene kids to congregate, visit, or even move to big cities to find opportunities to meet other scenesters, find jobs that suit them, or to live where they have a plethora of activities that they enjoy readily at their disposal. Recently internet revolutions like myspace.com have provided a new means for the ideas of scene culture to be spead, for scenesters to find new friends, bands, and activities. Scensters design stylish and graphic profile pages to both draw attention to themselves and to find others like them, and many people have joined up with the scene fad due to internet advertising. The downside of many scene atmospheres is that some scene kids tend to develop a superior mentality. Some who are especially popular and affluent can make it harder for the younger, yet-aspiring scenesters to join in with the subculture. This is not always the case, however. Different areas breed different demographics of scene kids. Perhaps part of their attitude comes from the problem that scenesters have begun to feel threatened about their culture being jeopardized because of a sort of trickle down effect. The internet is permitting easy access for anyone who would want to don scene-esque style and jump right in to a culture that scenesters feel they have built from the ground up and developed into a complex lifestyle. However, this lends many to get caught up in popularity contests in local areas as well as on the world wide web. Unfortunately, this can also lead to rifts in scenes. Groups of hardcore scenesters start "crews," often characterized by fierce brotherhood to the point of violence against others who are unlike them or who are in other crews. The scene is dividing amongst itself, due to purists who feel the scene is about music only, and those who have taken the scene fashion to be almost, if not equally, as important as the music itself. Some of the fashionable scenesters stick to their musical roots, but often due to the aforementioned trickle-down effect, there are people joining the scene who are not interested in the music, but are only in it for the attention. Thus, the scene will continue to divide. Whether they will admit it or not, kids interested in this lifestyle of excitement, concerts, body modification, fashion, and overall alluringly unusual aesthetics will continually be labeled as "scene." They chose an alternative path because they wanted to find acceptance elsewhere. Now, they face a community just like any other: one of all different types of people, who have different opinions and standards. It has its pros and cons, ups and downs, just like any lifestyle does. A metalhead is somebody who loves heavy metal. Don't always have the "look". And it's not even necessary to listen to just the classic metal bands, you can listen to the subgenres. You just have to appreciate the genre as a whole. The term: Short for independent rock. In terms of music it would be independent of major labels/mainstream stuff. History: grew out from 60s garage, 70s punk, and 80s post punk it started in the mid 80s as alternative/college radio music. Once nirvana hit big the alternative genre split: the popular side was just alternative(Smashing Pumpkins, Hole, No Doubt, etc.) and the other half that wasn't mainstream(by choice or not) became indie rock(Pavement, Sebadoh, Built To Spill, etc). Some bands have signed to major labels but are still considered indie(Modest Mouse, etc.). Go figure. Sound: In the begining indie sounded like alternative(because it was) but it grew more experimental and weird. In Britain indie has more of a typical sound like Radiohead, Muse, etc. rather than a definition based on 'the scene.'  The scene: if you really think all indie kids do is try to be cooler than other people then... well.. you're mostly right.

[molusca]

3, 5, 20, 39 👀

3. rant. just do it

i know that taking life advice from tumblr is a dangerous thing but actually i learned some amazing life lessons here.

one is the importance of a job half done.

i read a post about it once and its something that had such a good impact on my life. because i was raised with such a perfectionism mindset. and that stopped me from doing so many things and made anxious and stressed.

and im talking about things like. cleaning my room or washing the dishes.

theres too many dishes and it feels overwhelming and crushing? wash just a few things. you dont need to wash everything at once. just part of it. the sink will already look so much better if you just do a part of it.

my room is always a mess. it used to be a lot worse tbh. to the point i couldnt walk on the floor bc it was covered in stuff. so cleaning my room was something i almost never did bc it was just so overwhelming. but i dont need to do it all at once. one day i will clean my desk. one day i will fold my clothes. one day i will take the trash out.

doing a job half done is not being lazy like i was raised to believe. its just breaking tasks into smaller tasks. and it makes everything so much more easy.

even with study. sometimes i ignore some stuff, i just go to the test not studying that bc i said “fuck that i dont wanna/its too hard/i cant get this at all” and focus on what i can understand. its not perfect, its half assed but who fucking cares? not being perfect makes me more sane.

and like, whats even so bad about being lazy sometimes? ofc being lazy all the time is bad, everyone who followed me for a week has seen my life falling apart, but being lazy sometimes is actually. just chilling. relaxing. taking a fucking break. i was never told i could do that. no one teached me what was the point i needed to stop bc i was putting my health at risk. and i really put my health at risk more than once, both mentally and physically.

im tired of trying so much to be perfect for others, when no one cared to what was perfect for me.

5. how many accounts do you have?

i have a spare account that i have some urls saved (not gonna make the same mistake twice lol) but i just use this one. i tried to make a pjo sideblog in april but i deleted it a few days ago bc i really cant keep sideblogs kjasgdkasjgdkj

20. describe your blog in 3-5 words

chaotic. dirty. memes. anime. escapism.

39. describe your aesthetic

just like me its a mess. depending of my mood its pastel colors or goth/emo. oh floral stuff too. idk i always have trouble to describe my aesthetic lkjhasdkjashkj

unusual(ish) asks <3