#“you can't hate god and also not believe in him” “oh my god she ate him upppppp”
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deservedgrace · 5 months ago
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"You can't hate god while also not believing in him HAH checkmate atheists!!!"
1. I can and I will
2. "You can't have emotions about fictional characters" isn't the take you think it is especially on this site
3. I am far more concerned with how the people that believe he is real treat actual real living people because of their belief, and it's perfectly reasonable to hate that a being I deem to be fictional is apparently requesting and requiring that its followers harm others
37 notes · View notes
love-belle · 1 year ago
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i should hate u !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their post break-up era is them using shady captions to communicate and the media and fans being confused.
or
for when you loved them too much. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // max verstappen x fem!reader
sequel - today and tomorrow and every day after that ⋆·˚ ༘ *
warnings - language
author's note - hello!!! i really hope u like this <3 i was initially gonna do daniel ricciardo one first but i already had 1/2 of this done so i just decided to post this :) thank u sm for reading <3 i love u
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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f1news y/n y/l/n and max verstappen called it quits almost a month ago and it seems like they didn't end on good terms at all. the singer, at her london show last night, threw shade at her ex-boyfriend, saying and we quote, "the next song wouldn't have been possible without this one dude who inspired it obviously. so — here's 'i should hate you'. spoiler alert, i do. thank you!" the reason for the split is still unknown but sources who claim to be close to the pair said that 'it was bound to happen — with their different goals and plans for the future," seemingly referring to the talks that y/l/n wanted to get married and verstappen didn't. both of them have yet to comment on the situation. for more details, click on the link in our bio.
278 comments
username WOAH
username pause.
username ahahahahaha say what.
username oh my god 💀💀💀
username NOT HER CONFIRMING THAT I SHOULD HATE YOU IS ABT MAX
username no bc the way her voice cracked so many times in between the songs like girlie is angry AND hurt
username OH MY GOD
username i genuinely have no words
username omg the photos are NOT of her shading max. it's her laughing at a fan who yelled "you're the baddest bitch of all baddest bitches" at her
-> username YEAH LIKE SHE WAS SO CLOSE TO CRYING WHEN SHE SANG ISHY
username my delusional ass thinking they ended on good terms 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
username nah it's so champagne problems and you're losing me kinda thing i can't handle this whatcthe fucj
username OH WHATCTHEBFUCJ
username me getting the big guns out to defend her AND max with my LIFE
username still processing their breakup give me a year to digest this information
username STOP WHAT THE FUCK
username my parents ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
username no bc she's genuinely such a sweet person so if she said this max must've done something 😭😭😭😭😭
-> username STOP NO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
username can't believe she's saying this about a dude for whom she wrote "feels like" for like wow.
username I WAS AT THAT SHOW AND SHE LOOKED SO SAD AFTER SHE SAID THIS I FELT SO BAD
-> username SHE ALSO STARTED CRYING WHEN SHE FINISHED SINGING I MISS U IM SORRY AND ZARA (HER LEAD GUITARIST) HAD TO RUN AND CONSOLE HER
-> username AND SHE SAID THAT THE LAST MONTH HAS BEEN HARD ON HER AND SHE APOLOGIZED IF THE SHOW WASN'T AS GOOD AS THE OTHERS
-> username NAH MOTHER ATE AS ALWAYS
username y'all saying this but not the fact that she ALSO said "in another life we would've worked but im grateful for everything i had because for a moment you were mine"
-> username MY HEART JUST BROKE WHATCTHEBFUCK
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 799,155 others
maxverstappen1 i know i say that i am better now, spoiler alert, i am
8,926 comments
username the way my jaw dropped
username THE PICTURES
username GODDAMN
username someone take away y/n's phone before she hits back 💀💀💀
-> username the way i know that she would absolutely destroy him
username NOT THE PHOTOS OMG
danielricciardo spoiler alert, also a liar
-> maxverstappen1 you promised you wouldn't snitch
username he definitely cried while posting this idc
username max babe it's okay to admit that u miss ur wifey bc same 💔💔💔
-> username "wifey" girl he didn't even wanna marry her
-> username not another word.
username funny haha 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 im crying 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 now get back with mom.
landonorris no you're not
-> maxverstappen1 i will block you
username lando and daniel exposing max 💀💀💀
username no bc he probably cries whenever he remembers that he fumbled a baddie like y/n
username "it's all better with you ❤️"
-> username i could've gone along with my day without seeing that just saying
-> username delete that RIGHT NOW before i start crying
username missing max simping for y/n like ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
charles_leclerc i swear i can hear you crying from my hotel room
-> maxverstappen1 WE'RE NOT EVEN IN THE SAME HOTEL
username the way im SO sure he heard y/n saying that she hates him and that was the moment he gave up
-> username nah bc he was one of the "my girl's mad at me i hope i die" kinda guys
-> username wonder how he's surviving this tbh
username I CAN'T TAKE THIS SERIOUS IM SORRY THE POST IS JUST TOO FUNNY
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by selenagomez, carmenmmundt, dualipa and 2,246,826 others
yourusername i hate you lol
12,628 comments
username HELP
username she could only get this much in before her manager took away her phone ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
*liked by yourusername*
username no bc girl had a lot to say she's just trying to keep it cute
*liked by yourusername*
username the way i know y/n FOUGHT for the right to post this caption
username this is MILD bc i know y/n can be ruthless 😭😭😭😭😭😭
landonorris "in love" alright.
-> yourusername IT'S FOR THE AESTHETIC
username mother and father are fighting i can't take this what tye fyxk
username 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
username mother slays everyday just saying
username no bc if y/n ever said ihy to me i would give up just a thought
lilymhe pretty bitch
-> yourusername u sure that's not u?????
username i REALLY hope she's at the next gp
-> username no bc the way max and her meeting would definitely be more entertaining than the race itself
username NOT THE SONG LYRICS WHAT HAVE U PLANNED
-> username oh fuck that broke my heart what the fuck
username missing my man max in the comments section being a whipped bitch so bad ://////
carmenmmundt can't wait to see you darling 🤍
-> yourusername counting down the seconds omg i missed u!!!!!!
username y/n's manager has her on lockdown i can tell 💀💀💀
-> username with what she said at her last show i wouldn't be surprised
landonorris the post has reached the target and the target is currently eating ice cream while singing your songs
-> yourusername OH OKAY
-> yourusername good to know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
username she's so pretty it's not fair wtf
username the caption omg
-> username it's SO mild compared to what i was expecting tbh 💀
username slay
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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maxverstappen1 it's all better now
comments are disabled for this post
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by carmenmmundt, charles_leclerc, landonorris and 2,829,626 others
yourusername and i swear to god i'd kill you if i loved you a less hard
13,728 comments
username SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
username OH MY GOD
username IS THAT MAX WHATCTHEBFUCK
username NOT Y/N SOFT LAUNCHING HER EX BOYFRIEND
username GIRL 😭😭😭😭 get up
username this is INSANE
username MOTHER?????? WHAT IS THIS??????
danielricciardo the most stressful week of my life if we're being for real
-> yourusername u can send m*x the therapy bill
-> maxverstappen1 don't. i did not agree to that.
username HER SONG LYRICS OH MY GOD
username SHE WROTE THIS SONG FOR MAX 😭😭😭😭😭😭
username okay but like. are we SURE that's max?????
-> username i simply refuse to believe that it's someone else so yes. that IS in fact max.
username OKAYYYYYYY
username did NOT see this coming in a thousand years
username obviously VERY happy for them but y/n censoring max's name is so fucking hilarious like
-> yourusername babe it's m*x
-> username my bad ur absolutely right it's m*x
-> maxverstappen1 this is bullying
username DID HE PUT A RING ON IT WHATXTHEBFUCK
-> username NO BC THAT WOULD MAKE SM SENSE
username so i lost SLEEP over nothing????????
maxverstappen1 nice pants
-> yourusername thanks they would look better on ur floor
-> maxverstappen1 say less
-> username i think i just died whatcthebfuxk
-> username oh they're GOOD now
username imagine they just drop engagement photos out of the blue then what.
-> yourusername imagine lol
-> username WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
username i just know y/n's eating up every moment of this chaos
-> maxverstappen1 demons thrive in chaos so
-> yourusername well! it was nice to reconcile for a couple days, goodbye now.
username im crying whayctrhbfcuk
landonorris mother father
-> yourusername child
-> maxverstappen1 no
-> username ah yes the four family members mother father child and no
username THE HEART THE EVERYTHING THEM
username they STILL don't follow eachother LMFAO
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wolfiesmoon · 10 months ago
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What a fate
Ran x good girl! reader
this is a part 2 to my fic "i can't sleep", dont worry i'm feeding ur families they will no longer starve. apparently people are really into ran considering how many notes that fic of mine got (and who can blame them honestly)
unrelated but i cant believe it took me this long to get into housewife radio by ghost i love the horror vibes because of course i do
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You've had a turbulent few days recently. Ever since you agreed to do that stupid dare Ran hasn't left you alone.
He did promise to do so but you didn't think he was actually serious about "making you his". How could you let this happen?
Things turned out completely opposite to what you expected, though. Instead of dragging you to his gang meeting to beat the crap out of you, he's taking you there to threaten his lackeys that if they even so much as lay a finger on his girl (you), they'd feel hell on earth.
You suppose that it's nice that he wants to protect you but you feel extremely out of place and uncomfortable at a gang meeting of all places.
Your parents think you're studying at a library right now. Somehow, you feel like you're commiting a crime.
You also met his brother at that meeting.
It seems being a good-for-nothing delinquent runs in their family. You feel sorry for their parents. If they even have them.
"Wow, I would've never thought the nerd would be your type." Rindou teased Ran. Actually, maybe it was both of you he was teasing.
"She's the one that kissed me first." Ran smirked at you.
"You're the worst. Both of you." you furrowed your brows, not finding either of them amusing in the slightest.
"Your girlfriend hates you, man. Personally I would not put up with that." Rindou seemed disinterested, checking his nails as he said that.
"I am not his girlfriend, either!" you defended yourself but Ran just looked at you like he pitied you and Rindou looked like he didn't believe you.
"Right, okay, if you say so. You two have your lover's quarrel on your own. I'm going elsewhere." Rindou just casually left, leaving you all alone with Ran in an abandoned storage unit. Oh boy.
"Umm, I should get going- ack!" you felt your wrist getting grabbed, preventing you from leaving. There's your only exit up in smoke.
"Leaving so soon? But we haven't even had our fun yet." Ran smiled at you and you honestly felt scared at that moment. Oh no, you shouldn't have yelled back at him so daringly just now. Now he's going to beat the crap out of you and drop you off in front of your parents doorstep as a warning to never mess with his gang again.
He leaned in closer and you braced yourself for the pain, but instead of that you felt his lips on yours.
Kissing...?! Again?! Well, atleast it's better than a punch to the face... You can't believe it's come to a point where you're glad to get kissed by Ran.
But still, does he have to kiss you in the least romantic place possible? Even if you did have feelings for him you'd totally find this moment cringy.
"You suck at kissing." He comments heartily, pulling away.
"I'm not the one who kisses a new girl every day. Maybe I actually have some self-respect." You crossed your arms. He was your first kiss after all.
"Every night is an exaggeration. It's like, every week." You couldn't tell if he was joking or being serious, even if you saw his expression.
"Oh, wow. Glad to know that I'll get cheated on in about 3 days. Way to make your 'girlfriend' hate you less."
"I'll stop for you." He smiled.
"Uh huh, whatever." You rolled your eyes.
Though, his kisses are actually kind of making you.... No, no! Don't fall for that! You can't believe you almost admitted that you'd fall for him if he kissed you more.
.
"How's it going with your new boyfriend, girl?"
"God, do not call him that." You held your forehead in frustration.
"I think he's taken a liking to you." Your friend nudged you, pointing at Ran who was sitting on the other side of the cafeteria and smiling at you as he ate.
"Great." You said sarcastically, immediately looking away when your eyes met.
"See? It ended up well. Now you have a hot bad boy boyfriend." Your friend kinda wished she'd done it instead of daring you.
"Didn't I just... ugh! I don't think my parents would agree with you." You placed your forehead on the table, groaning. "You date him if you want a bad boy so bad. But I hate you for dragging me into this." Your voice was slightly muffled.
"Yeah, we'll see. You'll be the happiest couple ever in like, two months."
You raised your head, looking back at Ran once again. You're in quite the pickle, aren't you? The next thing you know, you'll fall for Haitani Ran.
How scarily exciting.
.
"Hop on." Ran stopped on his bike in front of the library. How he knew you had a study session there today? Don't worry about the details.
Another motorcycle ride... You feel like you barely survived the last one.
"My parents expect me to be home in 10 minutes." You crossed your arms. You weren't lying, either.
"Who cares? Live a little." Ran rolled his eyes playfully. Clearly he isn't going to let you back down.
"I'll do it, but only if you keep it to ten minutes." He was right, backing down isn't your thing. You wonder how much resisting him you could get away with if you weren't special to him.
Special to him... huh.
"Killjoy." He insulted you lightly as you sat down in front of him. Again, neither of you are wearing a helmet. This is the last time you'll let it slide.
"I prefer to not get scolded endlessly." You held onto him tightly because you knew what was coming and didn't want to almost fall off the bike again. He felt proud when you held onto him like that.
Like you're finally his. To be honest, he didn't really care much for you until you kissed him out of nowhere like that. How bold of you, the top-of-the-class rule stickler. But he likes that. And that's why he decided to make you his.
Isn't the fact that he lets you ride on his motorcycle enough to see that?
You felt the wind blowing against your face as you set off. Now that you feel it again, it doesnt feel too bad. It's kind of nice, actually. And Ran is warm, too.
The scenery moves past the two of you and strangely, you feel really calm and at peace. It feels like your parents don't exist in this moment and that you can just... live, and feel the adrenaline of the high speed.
This is so scarily exciting.
"You look relaxed." He said, looking down at you.
"I am. And look at the road, will you?" You scolded him but your voice was still relaxed. You look up at him again.
He actually isn't that bad looking. You kind of understand why some girls would fall for him. You, on the other hand...
Are unfortunately befalling the same fate.
He didn't say anything but you had a feeling he knew you were staring.
"You look like you're in love."
"What?! How would you even know?!" You looked back at the road, hiding your face from him. You can't help but get defensive of such a thing.
God, you hate that he's right.
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usernameforaboredcat · 1 year ago
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Head Over Heels (Law X TomBoyF!Reader) Part 2
Damn the first one did well, thank you so much you beautiful people! I am willing to do a part 3, if this goes on for too long tho I'm makin these two fuck I'm not sorry.
Law (not so hesitantly) agrees to hang out with Luffy and his (hot amazing beautiful sexy stunning) older sister, learning a lot about each other. And to be honest, he doesn't hate what he hears.
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The small quiet bar suddenly erupts with the sound of a young woman laughing, getting passing looks from the others in the bar just trying to get drink at like 2pm in the early afternoon.
(Y/n) almost falls over as she holds her stomach. "Oh God I'm in PAIN!". She cries, trying to catch her breath. "Hey! It was cool! Stop laughing!". Luffy snaps at her. She finally catches her breath, enough to hit the younger boy on the head. "Oh shut it you! You do dumb shit and get scolded". She tells him. She turns her gaze back to the older man, smiling at him. "Thanks again for keeping him out of too much trouble, I can't imagine it would be easy". She thanks, then turns back to Luffy. "Like come on Lu! You weren't this bad when we where kids". She adds.
Luffy pouts as he sets his chin on the table, chewing on the straw loosely hanging in his mouth. "I gotta crap". Luffy announces, getting up and walking off with the straw still in his mouth. (Y/n) sighs, fiddling with her nails as she watches him walk off. "I swear one day that idiot is gonna get himself killed". She mutters under her breath. "He'll be fine". She looks up, looking at the older man. "What?". She asks. "He'll be fine, you know that". Law repeats to her.
She chuckles to herself. "I know he will he's Luffy! It's just...I've already lost two brothers in my life, I don't want anything to happen to my baby brother". She states. "I mean, he's not my real brother we don't share blood. But the four of us shares sake, so we're all brothers. I love Luffy, I don't want him to end up like Ace or Sabo". She adds. "Sabo? Blonde and wears a top hat?". Law asks. She shifts her eyes around, feeling slightly uneasy. "Y-Yeah?". She asks.
Law smiles just the slightest, letting out a chuckle. "I guess Luffy didn't tell you, he's alive and well". He tells her. She sits up straight in her seat, wide eyed at the words that left his mouth. "Big brother...he's alive?...". She mutters out, tears running down her cheek. The two sit in a comfortable silence, Law feeling a warmth in his heart as he looks at her. Something about telling her that her older brother is alive and seeing the surprised but thrilled expression on her face.
"Hey! What did I mi-".
SMACK!
"OW! HEY! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?". Luffy yelps, holding his aching head. "YOU FUCKER! YOU DIDN'T THINK TO TELL ME THAT SABO HAS BEEN ALIVE THIS ENTIRE TIME!?". She snaps, grabbing her brother by his shirt and shaking him. "Oh yeah! He's alive! Oh yeah he also told me to tell you hello". He explains. She smacks him on the head again. "I can't believe you! No letter, no transponder call, no nothing! Before I know it a month from now you're gonna be like 'oh by the way Ace is still alive too' you little shit". She snaps.
Luffy looks up at her with an angry pout. "I'm sorry okay!? I just forgot okay?". He tries to defend. A dark energy arises from his sister, a sinister dark expression that makes her look like she was the one that ate the flame flame fruit. "Luffy...I'm going to fucking kill you". She mutters out in a deep tone. A shiver goes down his spine, scurrying over to hide behind Law. "No no no don't think hiding behind a hot guy will protect you! Get here!". She snaps, marching over. "Aaaahhhh!". Luffy screams, running away with his sister in close pursuit. Law stares off into the distance with wide eyes, his face quickly heating up.
His gaze snaps to her figure, watching her as she runs and ruins the bar to try and get to her brother. 'She thinks I'm hot?'. He watches as (Y/n) dives onto Luffy, sitting on his back with one arm around his neck and the other pulling his legs backwards. Luffy coughs and smacks the floor, barely getting out a word. "I'm...sorry...please...can't...breath...". He coughs out, face going blue. Law chuckles as he watches the siblings. That little idiot captain really does have a lot of people in his life that care about him.
(Y/n) lets go of her baby brother, getting up and taking a seat back at the table. "I swear that motherfucker is gonna be the death of me". She groans, resting back in her chair. She looks over at him, smiling at him. "So, tell me about ya'self, hot stuff". She blatantly tells him, catching him off guard. She knew that he heard her call him hot, and by the blush on his face she knew he liked it. "You're the Surgeon of Death, are you and actual doctor or is it just a name?". She asks. He coughs, clearing his throat. He can practically hear the voices of his crewmates in his head. "She's hot! She's confident! She wants to fuck you! Don't fuck it up!".
"W-Well, I am an actual doctor. I'm also the doctor on my ship". He answers. "No shit! That's pretty cool, and good to know that you're an actual doctor and not some fraud". She hums, joking at the last part. "No no I'm actually a scam doctor who cut kidneys out in back alleys". He jokes. He imminently starts to sweat nervously, hoping that his joke was good. She laughs. Oh God thank fuck. "Oh God, don't take my kidneys! I need those!". She laughs. "Where'd you learn your doctoring? I doubt a pirate went to medical school". (Y/n) then asks. He hums. "I learnt everything I know from my old teacher when I was younger". He answers simply.
Normally he wouldn't be so open. But she's fire as hell, and he already feels comfortable enough to talk to her about almost anything. Almost. That might have to be a conversation topic for another time. "That's cute, what where they like?". She asks. Law smiles softly at the memories. "He was a gentle giant of a man". He answers. "Was?". She points out. "Was". He confirms. (Y/n) chuckles to herself. "I know what that's like". She giggles. She does, and he knows that's something that they have in common. A loved family member who was tragically taken away, a death that still lingers.
(Y/n) smiles, tilting her head slightly to the side. "I think I like you, you're on my good list". She states, a soft caring look in her eyes. Have you ever had your heart explode? Law knows what that feels like. He loves his woman. She reaches into her pocket, holding out a small little paper out to him. Law leans forward, taking the little paper from her. He sees it has her name written on it with a lip stick stain on it and a transponder snail number. "If you ever wanna find me". She tells him. "You're leaving?". He asks her. "Yeah, I should maybe head off". She tells him. "I have to go find someone".
She turns her head, seeing her little brother still passed out on the floor. "Take care of my baby brother for me, and if he ever needs his big sister you know how to find me". She asks of him. 'I will die to protect him to make you happy'. "No problem, I'll keep that in mind". He responds. She smiles brightly at him, showing him a smile that matches her brothers. "It's been really fun, see ya round". She tells him. "It has". He replies. With that, she gives him one last smile then walks out the bar.
Law smiles softly to himself, but it drops when he hears a groan and a stretched hand on the table. Luffy pulls himself up, taking a seat where his sister once sat. "Huh? Where'd (Y/n) go?". He asks the older man. "She left to go see Sabo". Law answers. "Oh, she's gonna be so happy". He says happily. "Luffy". Said young adult turns to the older man. "Yeah?". He asks. 'Can I marry your sister?'.
"...Nothing".
202 notes · View notes
short-black-diamond · 1 year ago
Note
Okaokay! What if we flip the situation kinda >:)
So like Sahed has secret crush on reader and reader is like confident and flirts with him however rather than a clap back like he does with Julia he just goes quiet (cuz he’s flustered tehee) so this makes reader jealous of Julia cause they think he doesn’t like them back .·°՞(≧□≦)՞°·.
Blah blah blah reader surprisingly kisses Sahed and he’s all flustered blushing mess happy ending
(ʃƪ ˘ ³˘)♥(˘ ε˘ʃƪ)
-ur strawbewy >;3 🍓
BWGAGAGAGAGAGAGAHAGAHAAHJDGJEHCIFWNU LOOK AT THE KISSING EMOTICONS (ʃƪ ˘ ³˘)♥(˘ ε˘ʃƪ)
I love it. And I love your request. Let's do this!
Also thank you for requesting again, 🍓 <3
Warnings: jealous reader, reader makes explicit remarks, flustered Sahed, and Rainah is our beloved wingwoman again
Word count: 2.1 k
---
Cursed lips
"Tell me Sahed..", you spoke when you sat yourself next to the three eyes, and he immediately blushed. You guys were eating dinner, and Sahed ate at a lone corner, so what better way option would you have than to plop down next to him and flirt with him?
"how come you always look so perfect?", you asked, watching his reaction with a sly grin. It was routine by now that Sahed would blush furiously, he would say no syllable back though. He only ate his food in silence.
You huffed, taking a more daring approach. "You know, you are just like a maths book," and out of the corner of your eyes, you saw the Ah'kon momentarily stop shoving spaghetti in his mouth.
'Got him this time!', you thought as you finished your sentence. "Whenever I open that particular book, I just groan and say-"
Sahed quickly stood up and left. "Hmpf! Didn't even get to finish my sentence...", you muttered, as you watched him leave the cafeteria with a hand on your ching and an annoyed expression.
...
You didn't understand Sahed. You knew him, his past, why he was the way he was, but not how he couldn't even talk back to you.
However, it was a whole other story with Julia, one of the newcomers. Whenever she was around, Sahed cracked jokes left and right, pulled some pranks on her, and... flirted with her very often.
It made you feel like a fool, running after him all these years. Sometimes, Sahed made you think he actually liked you, but before you could be sure about that, he backed away, saying stuff like "I was just joking!", "Did you really believe that?" ...and the worst: "C'mon, we're friends!"
yeah, he made you feel like a lovesick fool, and you hated yourself for not being able to stop your heart to beat for him. You hated feeling invincible whenever he was near, like you could achieve anything in this world.
But, you were not one to back down, no. You'd spoil him rotten, court him, gift him flowers, write him poems, and praise and compliment and flirt with him until the day he'd tell you to stop or reject you.
You were ____ ______, for god's sake!
You'll make Sahed yours!
If only your confidencs would restore faster after each time you see Sahed flirting with Julia. You wished he'd tell you how he felt, but you were always met with silence on the other end, and it knawed at you.
it felt disgusting.
...
Sahed was having a nervous breakdown, his elbows on his table and his face buried in his face as he groaned loudly .Kamille drew a new design for Rainah and Rainah only stroked Sahed's back in comfort.
"And then she said, "Whenever I open that particular book, I just groan and say-" and that's then I left!", Sahed cried in an exasperated tone as he looked at his sister with a very flustered expression, his face being redder than a tomato and Rainah only laughed.
"Oh my, she must be pulling all the stops now. But I do feel pity for ____. Sahed, you can't just not answer when she talks to you. You'll only hurt her feelings, you know?", she spoke when Sahed looked at her with drooped eyes and a sad frown.
"I-I know, Rainah, and I'm trying! I actually sat up early this morning, just to rehearse what I want to say to her, but when I look at her, or when I hear her voice...", he whined as he rubbed his eyes in frustration.
Rainah only sighed tiredly. "What if you just write her something, instead of trying to speak?", Kamille's voice rang softly, and Sahed raised his head.
"That's...actually a pretty good idea...!", Rainah praised, and kamille smiled bashfully as she looked down at her designs with a blush.
Sahed searched for papers, not the scattered and drawn-on ones. He finally found a lone paper and scrambled around for a pen with ink. Once he found one, he wrote whatever came to mind. He wrote for a solid two minutes, his eyes furrowed in concentration, and the room was filled with Kamille's gentle stroke of her pen against her skecthes, and Sahed's rough handwriting, his wrist flicking after every tenth word.
Then he abruptly stopped. "No. that's not right.", he criticised his work, and fisted the paper in his hand. rainah raised an eyebrow after he threw it to the ground -it missed the bin- and looked for a new paper.
She picked it up and read what was inside, and she gasped.
Dear ____, Not a day, an hour, a minute, or even a second goes by where I'm not thinking of you. Hell, I even see you in my dreams. You always have on that beautiful pink dress on...it really suits you, and I can't help but fall for you every time you bless me in that other world. In my dreams, I am not a cowerd who can't even answer you, no. In my dreams, I am responding to every of your words. I am also flirting with you, looking at you the way you look at me, and even holding, and kissing your delicate, petite hands. If only I could do it too when I am not in the dreamland. If only I could tell you how much you mean to me, how much I crave your attention, how I want you to keep flirting with me, even when I can't always take it, should I faint, is it beccause of the overdose of love you've showered me with. I wish I could speak to you, but I can't and I can't help but think I am cursed. I simply cannot speak when I'm around you. Whenever I look into those beautiful orbs of yours, or smell your perfume, my voice leaves and I am just--standing there like an idiot! Your words make me feel so much better about myself than I'd like to admit. Every word you say, every compliment, every praise, I wish to give right back at you, but I always find myself tongue-tied, & my throat suddenly has a toad in it. I wish I could tell you how I feel and
And that's where he stopped. Rainah looked at her brother, who was looking at the drawn on papers, scratching his head in thought, most likely trying to figure out where his newly purchased ones went.
Without telling him a word, Rainah left the room.
...
"What?! You're joking, right??", Julia's response came to your question and she was laughing her butt off.
you only stared at her laughing with a saw frown etched on your face. "I'm serious, you know...?", you muttered when you saw her gasping for air.
It couldn't be that asking her if she liked Sahed would be the funniest thing she'd ever heard, but oh well.
"Sor...sorry...phew!...ehehheheheee~...!", Julia laughed while trying to catch her breath. "It's just, I am not the one who likes Sahed, or the one who Sahed likes." "Huh?"
"Listen, ____. I may seem close to that guy, but there's nothing but cameraderie between us.", Julia started, a sympathetic smile on her face. You looked at her with hesitation. "...Really?"
"Really. And I'm surprised that you're actually asking me this when Sahed only has heart eyes for you-"
"____! ____! I need to give you something!", Rainah yelled when she finally spotted you. You look at her confused, having Julia's words not processed yet.
"Woah, Rainah, what happened to you?", Julia asked, and rainah only gave you Sahed's paper. "..here...!", she panted.
"Had to give you this before Sahed gets me! Byeee!", she exclaimed, before dashing away.
Julia put a hand on your shoulder. "I have some business to attend to, okay? Bye."
And gone was she. Now, as you were alone, you read what was written on it. You gasped in shock.
Each sentence made you heart flutter, your eyes widen, and your love for your crush grow.
...
Sahed sighed. He was getting nowhere with this. Kamille had left to go to the sewer with her sketches, and Rainah left to god-knows-where.
He looked at the dozens of love letters on the ground he wrote as soon as he got his hands on the new paper. He used every single one of them, then he rumpled every single one.
He'd never write a good confession, let alone love letter. However, a knock at his door made him halt in his thoughts, and he opened the door. You stood there, with his first paper in hand.
"May I step in?", you asked gently, and Sahed got red. Without a word, he stepped to the side. You saw the papers on the ground, which were as rumpled as the one in your hand.
"May I look at the other papers?", you looked at him. He looked to the side, and nodded. 'no, no, nononononono...! She's going to read all my papers..!', he thought as he watched you crouch down to the ground to open the crumpled papers on the ground.
You opened the first one, and it left you in shock.
My wonderful lady ____, you have no idea how much I am infuriated with you. Every second next to you feels like heaven, but it ends in a second. I cannot fathom when I started harbouring these feelings, but I know that I cannot stop them, nor do I want to. I enjoy your company, and I wish I would answer you, if it weren't for those ... cursed lips of mine. Whenever I find myself near you, my heartbeat speeds up as if I'd be running a marathon, my hands grow sweaty when I think about holding the ones you have, and I can't utter a single word to you. Whenever you talk to me, whether it be joking, a normal conversation, or you flirting with me, I always find myself at a loss for words. It's like I have lost my tongue, or every language I am capable of speaking is wiped from my brain.
I think it is because I have fallen in love with you, _____, for I can't imagine the sun rising without your presence. I can't imagine going on stage in front of all these people to show my tricks when you're not near, because all these people are only fragments of my past, whereas you are a constant flowing stream in my blood, which rests in my veins and goes into my heart.
I... I love you so much that I can't even speak around you, and I always become a mute fool in your presence. I can't help but grow shy when you're right there, with your glowing aura, your wonderful hair, your charming eyes, and your beautiful smile.
And that was it. The paper anded here. Sahed watched you open and read every single letter from the floor as he grew tense. He was standing behind you at the door, and scratched his head, his blush still evident as he was close to fainting. He sat down on a stool. He watched your body language from behind.
You were just...sitting there, a straight posture, your feet underneat your butt as you sat on your knees and shins, and you occasionally rised a little to take another letter which was a bit further away from you.
No, Sahed couldn't read your body from behind.
He slowly stood up and collected the balls of paper you didn't read yet and gave you one each time you finished reading the last. It took you one hour to finish reading all the letters, and you were grinning from ear to ear. "So...that's how you've been thinking of me...?"
Sahed nodded, his legs being formed criss-cross-applesauce, and he sat next to you. He nodded shyly, his eyes being cast downwards.
"Well...you certainly have a way with words, Sahed. Also...it was really romantic, how you just wrote it all down. I'm flattered from your letters."
Sahed gulped. 'Okay, now or never!'
He took a deep breath as he looked at you with a flustered determined expression. "____, I love you-mmh!"
Yeah, you kissed him. Your one of your hands was on his cheek, the other one on his shoulder. You were facing him with your body as you kissed him, and Sahed's head was just turned down and to your direction.
After you parted, Sahed shyly gave you a little peck on your lips, and smiled sheepishly. "I love you too, Sahed.", you said when you spread your kisses all over his face.
Sahed smiled as he sighed into your affections.
Maybe being not able to talk to you was not so bad.
---
Hey hey hey! I hope I could write it the way you liked, and if not, please let me know!
Anyways, thanks for reading my post! If you have requests, please let me know!
Read you in the next post!
taglist: @littlegremlinflower
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stubz · 7 months ago
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House of Gold
They were playing heroes or as Mark called it "training" for when he would inherit Nolan's powers. Secretly she was hoping that he wouldn't get them for quite some time, she knew Nolan wouldn't ever make him do anything, he was 6 for crying out loud! But Cecil was another story.
She was attacked by the evil Doctor Pain, Nolan's face at being dragged into this would make her laugh for weeks, and was just rescued by Omni-Boy.
Now the evil Doctor Pain was inside making lunch as punishment for kidnapping Omni-Boy's mom while the two of them were sitting in the backyard.
"Mom?"
"Yes hon?"
"Do you think I'll be as strong as Dad when I get my powers?"
"I don't know," she truly didn't. From what Nolan said there was a chance that he wouldn't get any powers. "But what I do know is that you'll be just as brave as him. And kind, and gentle, and-"
"And famous!" She laughed, pulling him into a hug. "I'll be so famous I'll have my own action figure and movie! And I'll be rich!"
"Well then. Omni-boy, will you buy me a house of gold? And when your famous will you still take care of me when I grow old?" she teased.
"Yeah! No, even better! I'll make you queen everything so that you'll also be famous." he sounded so sure that she believed him for a moment.
"Queen of everything?"
"Yeah, you can rule the world and make everyone nice so that no one will ever be evil ever again. But if they do then I'll beat them up and throw them to outer space! I'll protect you."
"And what about me?" Nolan hovered over them holding a tray of sandwhiches.
"You can also be mom's bodyguard!"
"Why not king?"
"But mom's the boss."
She laughed and they ate their lunch on the grass. She smiled as she watched Nolan trying to wipe Mark's face clean of the mayonnaise and mustard on his face. Mark whined and squirmed but she could see the smile he was fighting off.
Maybe she didn't need a house of gold or be the Queen of everything. All she really needed was her husband and son.
She knew that something was going on with Mark but no matter how much hinting and prodding she did he wouldn't talk to her. Hopefully Nolan was doing better.
"Mom?" he poked his head in. She hated how small and quiet he sounded, like he was 6 again and had a nightmare rather than 14.
"Come here." She hated how weak she sounded. Hated how sad he looked whenever he saw her. Hated that she wished it was anyone else who was in her position. Goddamn you cancer. God-f*cking-damn you.
For a while they just stayed quiet. Mark holding her as gently as he could, Debbie holding him as tightly as she could.
"...how's training with dad?"
"...good, I can land now."
"Well thank god for that, I don't have to worry about my garden anymore now." his ghost of a smile is small victory for her.
"Yeah...I, its...good."
"Honey, what's wrong?"
"Nothing." she lets go of his back to hold his face in her hands. Thumbs rubbing up and down under his eyes, right hand smooths back his hair, eyes looking down at him nothing but all the love she has for him. Just like when he was little.
Just like he was little he crumples and gives in to her silent ask of trust.
"I just, its just, how can I be a hero when I can't even save you," at last the first tear falls and his last attempt of staying strong breaks. "I have these powers a-and so does dad but, but what good are they if you can't be saved." he buries is face in her chest. Wet with tears that just won't stop.
"Oh, Mark, oh sweetheart."
"I said I'd protect you! Your supposed to be with me, your supposed to embarrass me with dad when I get a girlfriend! Your supposed to teach me how to drive! Your supposed to live!" she's crying now too.
"I'm sorry. I know its not fair honey, God I know. But, but sometimes that's just life...I wish I could tell you that I know everything is gonna be alright but I can't. I can't but I can tell you this. I'm not giving up, okay? You look at me when I'm talking Mark Grayson."
She forces his face up and looks at him. 14 years old and he's learning how to fly. 14 years old and he's training to be the next Omni-Man. 14 years old and his mom is dying. At 14 years old he should be learning about algebra, training for soccer, with a mom who's not dying.
"I'm not giving up and your not either. Your not allowed to give up. Even when I'm gone your not allowed to."
" . . . I won't. I'll save you, I'll cure you of disease."
Neither of them notice Nolan standing outside the hospital room listening in. And not anyone, Nolan included, noticed the way his fists clench nor the red of his eyes.
The last thing Debbie Grayson saw was her son and husband standing over her crying.
The last thought going through her head wasn't her love for them. Nor was it regret. And most certainly not fear of what would happen next.
It was the thought that this was the first time she's ever seen her husband cry.
The first thing Debbie saw was her son and husband hovering over her crying.
The first thought going through her head was how heavy Mark had gotten.
The second thought was a sense of deja-vu. The third thought was to register what Mark was saying.
"I did it mom, I did it. I saved you. I cured you of disease."
"Wha." she really needed some water.
Nolan helped prop her up and handed her some water. He kept his hand on her lap.
"My people, the Viltrumites, saved you. We now have the power to cure any disease, you and Earth will never be sick again."
The days after were strange but happy. Apparently she couldn't receive the cure for quite some time, 5 years to be exact, and had to be frozen.
Mark and Nolan visited her everyday for as long as they could but as per an agreement with Grand Regent Thragg they must aid them with their enemies. Enemies that Nolan vaguely talks about and Mark waves off as nothing.
She asks where Cecil is as well as the Guardians of the Globe. Nolan says they've been relocated. She asks Mark about William and any other friends he has. He says William is good and he sees them everyday and briefly talks about a group of people he's trying to bring over their side.
Finally she's discharged and is brought to a mansion with staff and nurses. Nolan refuses to let her stay anywhere else, she deserves the best. Mark smiles, teasing her about how would she prefer a house of gold.
There are things she still finds odd. How the staff freeze up and quiver whenever someone makes a mistake. How they never touch her more than they have to and never make eye-contact with her. How they bow to Nolan, Mark, and the people wearing white bodysuits.
How she can't watch the news or anything that came out after 2021.
She confronts her family about it and wishes she didn't as she looks at the screens showing the state of world. Their city in ruins. People lying dead in the streets. Ships sinking in the Atlantic Ocean. The world burning and it's all because of her.
"After you...died Dad told me more the Viltrumites and how they could cure you. At first I didn't want to do it but I told you I wouldn't give up and so I didn't.
I know it looks bad but its not really. We make it as painless as possible for those who refuse to join and treat those who do with kindness and respect.
We never kill anyone under 18 or pregnant and take in the kids we find and...hey, don't cry mom. Look at Melissa."
Melissa, her cook, the only one brave enough to talk to her.
"She was hurt by one of our patrols and as an apology we took her in, we gave her food, shelter, medical aide, a home. And now she has an income, wife, and two beautiful children. All because of us."
She's sobbing now and would be on the floor if not for Nolan holding her. Holding her so gently and lovingly with the same hands that have killed millions.
Her son, her baby boy, with a head count in the thousands kneels before her and takes her hands into his. She used to be able to cover both of his with her own.
He smiles her a bright cheery grin that has his eyes twinkle.
"You asked me to buy you a house of gold, I got you one. You asked me if I'll take care of you when you grow old, I will protect you and care for you forever. I said I'd cure you of disease and now I say I'll cure you of your mortality. I said I'd make you Queen of everything and I meant it," he stands as Nolan gently places a fur shawl on her shoulders. "You can make everything here even better and you, me, and dad can live ever after happily."
They hold her close. Both of them smiling and feeling content while utterly oblivious to the turmoil of guilt and fear Debbie Grayson feels towards her husband and son.
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all-seeing-ifer · 1 year ago
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Wait I really like ats s5 it has some banger episodes, why don’t you like it?
oh man. season 5.
so, in theory, there's a lot about season 5 that I should like. I think it reinvents the show in an interesting way and I love the themes of never stopping fighting even in the face of the knowledge that the good guys are never going to truly win and that the deck is always going to be stacked against them. the fucking dialogue between gunn and anne in the finale? "I'd get this truck packed before the new stuff gets here"? holy SHIT it is so good!!!
I totally get why people like season 5 I do think it genuinely has a lot going for it BUT you DID ask so I will now be presenting Isabel's List of Varyingly Serious/Petty Beefs With Angel Season Five. In No Particular Order:
Spike's a good addition to the show and god knows angel season 5 does more interesting stuff with him than buffy season 7 ever did but it is fucking insane to me how much focus and development he gets while gunn fred and lorne, who have been mainstays of the show since like season 2, continue to get absolute jack shit to do
just generally let's be honest. anyone who isn't a white guy this season is fucked. harmony gets no development despite being granted main cast status illyria gets nothing to do despite being set up as a super duper important addition to the cast I don't even know what they were fucking thinking with eve. etc.
THEY FRIDGED CORDY AND FRED WITHIN THREE EPISODES OF EACH OTHER. AND AT NO POINT DID ANYONE IN THE WRITERS' ROOM THINK THAT MAYBE THE FACT THAT THEY WERE WERE STARTING TO RUN OUT OF WOMEN WAS PERHAPS A PROBLEM
speaking of cordy my best girl of all time, I know people love you're welcome but i'm sorry i remain deeply ambivalent about that fucking thing. like yes it's nice that the cordy we know and love gets to come back for one last hurrah but also the episode basically never treats her like a person with feelings of her own and instead she's just there to motivate angel and then die so he can be sad about it. i can't believe it only took 40 minutes to set feminism back 4000 years
also sorry but did they really think you're welcome was going to be enough to make up for what they did to her in season 4? have you seen season 4? one episode where cordy looks hot and has her tits out and swordfights will NOT undo the damage that has been done
and then they proceed to set feminism back even further by just refusing to acknowledge the existence of their show's secondary protagonist for the basically the rest of the season and also fridging fred in an arguably even more horrific way three episodes later so wesley can be sad and so they can introduce a new character who does nothing
like seriously nothing makes me more rabid in season 5 than the scene in power play where the characters all vote on if they're gonna go through with their suicide mission against the circle of the black thorn and it's just all the men voting on it bc illyria's been incapictated bc I guess in angel season 5 women don't get to have agency even when they're literal godlike demon lords
on the subject of the illyria plotline i fucking hate how gunn gets treated. like sorry all the men on this show (sans lorne. unproblematic king) have done awful shit why does gunn get singled out as having done something uniquely horrible just for a shady business deal he couldn't possibly have known the consequences of. like we know why but still
and on the subject of gunn.... the fact that they wrote a storyline implying that the only way for the only black main character in the show to become smart and capable is for him to have his brain magically altered and NO ONE in the writers room was like HM MAYBE THIS IS A BAD LOOK ACTUALLY. christ i would feel way better about the whole "gunn feels like he's just the muscle" conflict if the show more consistently came down on the side that players does where gunn does actually have way more to offer than being the muscle but has just come to see himself as just The Guy Who Fights. but unfortunately they spend at least as much time writing gunn as Actually Just The Muscle. usually to make wesley look better (i promise i'm not bitter about it)
and perhaps i'd be less annoyed about all this if gunn also got literally anything else to do this season but this is truly all he gets until not fade away
which i guess is still better than fred? like fred just dies. that's it
guys i don't think we shit on the girl in question enough. like it's bad. it's really bad. i'm so glad we're currently in the shit talking lies my parents told me renaissance but can we also start bringing that same energy for this piece of shit
nina's an art student so i hate her by default (<- guy who went to art school <- i am allowed to say this)
despite spike being intended to serve as a replacement for cordy they just straight up don't give him relationships with any of the characters other than angel (and fred for like. one episode) and it results in him just feeling incredibly out of place
just in general actually it feels like the writers kind of stopped caring about any of the character relationships aside from angel and spike and fred/wesley (which they only care about bc it's a reason for wesley to be sad anyway)
the pacing is a nightmare and i do not give a shit about the circle of the black thorn. sorry
and just as a disclaimer i would like to acknowledge that like. ats was always fairly shitty about race and gender this isn't unique to s5 but MAN does it feel like season 5 in particular is just. saying the quiet part out loud constantly every episode
anyway thank you for giving me free rein to just bitch about angel season 5 for an extended period of time this was fun. still i'm honestly glad that you enjoy it like really truly I wish that were me
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kamiversee · 8 months ago
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Oh wow this chapter was soo good! I ate up every single second of it and i just know the next chapter's going to be amazing! I can't wait for the reader to finally tell Choso the truth(most of it) and I want to see his reaction sosos badlyy.
As for Choso:( omg i felt so bad for him. He should not have gone through that and his siblings shouldn't have either. Im not gonna lie, it lowkey makes me feel some hate towards Sukuna because how bad of a person do you have to be to put your younger siblings through that. I would say "maybe his parent's death made him the way he is" but absolutely not. I don't think there's anything that can excuse abuse.
I really hope Choso does find the love he deserves, even if it is from us or from somebody else. Speaking of that, when the reader said she wasn't good for him oh god my heart shattered. I really thought it was the end of them but I mean there's still the next chapter so it's not fully confirmed whether they are staying together or not.
Knowing Choso, he's probably not going to leave the reader's side and he won't let her leave his. Which kind of leads to me having mixed feelings about his love for her. He's so persistent about them staying together despite the reader constantly telling him that she's no good for him. Yes, as of right now it's cute and it shows us he won't give up on her despite what she tells him but over time, that persistence could lead to romantic harassment.
Like imagine reader and Choso are in a relationship and she wants to break up over something, I feel like Cho would ignore her wishes and constantly beg her to stay and that she 's not leaving him. Especially since he's possessive it gives me more of an uneasy feeling that he's never going to want to let her go even if she wants to leave.
Trust me, Im a choso girly myself (a lil bit of a gojo girly too) but this little persistent act of his can't help but have me wondering if this will be a problem. Despite that, that still doesn't make him a horrible person so don't get any ideas gojo girlies. Gojo is still far worse than Choso and just because he's starting to reveal ONE red flag, it doesn't outweigh the many gojo has. So don't go comparing them.
Also, about what the reader said to Choso about not being good for him, it really does show that the reader is to choso as gojo is to the reader. Gojo tells the reader the same thing in terms of not being good for her and that it's better that she finds someone that loves her the way she deserves. This really reminded me of the car moment her and Choso had especially since she tells Choso the same things Gojo had once told her. "I'm no good for you", "There's someone better for you", "I can't offer you the love you deserve", etc.
All this can't help but make me wonder if she's going to be the one breaking off what she has with Choso, not Choso himself. We've all been worried that he's going to leave us when he finds out the truth but we've never had the thought that the reader's going to be the one doing it instead(if he even lets her). Then, if she is able to leave him, is she going to return to Gojo? Is this going to be some sort of sick love story where they claim they can fix eachother and be the only ones made for eachother?
I have no idea what to feel but my theory as of right now is she's going to decide Gojo is the one for her and she'll make herself believe that they are "meant to be". Can't wait for the next chapter!! As always, keep up the good work and love you lots:] MWAH!
-🥺(i'm on computer so i don't have the teary eyed emoji but this will work for now -.-)
YAPPERTHON LETS GOO
1. His reaction is highly anticipated I see😹
2. Nothing excuses abuse of course yet I’d also like to say again how Sukuna did have an abusive mother so perhaps that has something to do with it? ^.^ (doesn’t excuse him ofc, Choso was abused & he’s just a ball of sunshine for the most part)
3. I love having everyone worried on wether or not the reader & Choso will stay together😹
4. & that’s very true but I think because of what the reader has experienced with love herself (in regards to Gojo at least), I think with someone so possessive, if the reader does choose Choso & they do get together, perhaps it’ll actually be good seeing as Choso is so much different than Gojo & he’d probably try to reassure her everyday that she’s enough for him.
Simultaneously, I feel the reader would do the same for him because she now knows all he’s been through and knows how much reassurance means to someone like that. Basically, they may be more compatible than you think 😙
5. Okay this is a great point but Choso says many times that he’ll only be this persistent until she tells him not to. In the midst of a breakup, I feel Choso would be hurt of course but he’d still put the reader over himself and allow her to leave.
Also, remember that Choso left her before despite his possessiveness so, trust me, I don’t think that’ll be a problem in terms of a breakup :)
6. & yes, she may not see it but she is more like Gojo than she realizes (I think Shoko pointed this out earlier on btw, I just love my foreshadowing lol, & Suguru pointed it out as well)
Even so, I think it’s sad that she finds herself feeling such a way toward the very person Gojo says she deserves, yet there she is feeling like she doesn’t deserve him :( GAH I WANNA HUG THE READER ><
7. She could try and run back to Gojo all she wants but at the end of the day, that damn albino does nothing but confuse her and tell her she cant be with him so in the end, she’d always result in being hurt & confused 🤷‍♀️
ANYWHO, THANKS FOR THE YAPPING, I LOVED IT LIKE ALWAYS <3
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isawken · 1 year ago
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so the thing is
the thing is i think about my sorry 20 year old ass taking dozens of mgs of stolen barbiturates in my one bedroom apartment luxuriously paid for by an excess of student loans playing spyro the dragon on my 11 year old playstation 2 slim living the young artist's dream just me and a cat and and memory loss skipping class to make mediocre art too high to self harm in the old fashioned "burn or cut myself" way so i didn't think the other stuff i was doing was all that bad and trying really hard to be a mediocre waitress at a mediocre faux-high-brow restaurant and finally after a month being honest with my therapist and her recommending, not telling, me to self admit to Forest View Psychiatric Hospital and i actually did because i didn't know what else to do and i got in there and they took my shoelaces and i cried for about 36 hours straight because what the fuck did i just do, until they finally gave up on the trazadone that just straight up was not working and gave me seroquel and i finally slept for a while and then just sat in the bedroom i shared with an 18 year old anorexic (who would soon ask to get transferred to the minor ward and they'd let her for reasons i'm still not clear on other than the assumption of empathy on the part of her assigned psychiatrist which is frankly hard for me to believe) because they didn't actually care if you went to the group therapies as long as you were somewhere visible for their regular 15 minute check ins but after the 3rd day of now-intermittent crying and 6 new medications and mediocre forced sleep i asked if i could take a nap in one of the quiet rooms and they let me and it was one of the best naps i ever had in my life and when i woke up i was in a great mood and my whole perspective had somehow shifted and suddenly this was a good thing i was okay with being here (i still have no idea how this happened) and i went to group therapy and i tolerated the others in therapy telling me the solution to my immense self hate was to trust that god loves me and i went to the art room and drew in coloring books with the others and chatted and a 19 year old taught me about the chemical compounds in mucinex that get you high and i got a new roommate who was also my age also bisexual and she was an opera singer and she knew danish and we chatted up a stereotypically intimidating-looking biker man who had a voice as beautiful as my roommate's and he told us as he was waiting for the single-shower room about the benefits of MDMA for trauma and how the best thing you can do when you're rolling is "the airplane" and a 48 year old pill popper mother of 4 taught me how to jam a plastic spoon into the shower button in your room so you don't have to keep pressing the button for water and a guy named zander told me a bunch of pun jokes and we started sitting together at lunch and one day it was chicken wings, like actually decent chicken wings, so he ate a bunch and then left the bones piled on his plate as he left to get another round and the woman sitting across from us leaned over, eyes honed on my face, and very gently asked if it would be okay if we could cover up the bones on our plates because it reminded her of her captivity by two men and subsequent torture, specifically when they shoved a broken handle through her foot and
and
and my reaction was, of course, to say yes yes, of course, it's no trouble at all, zander won't mind either, and he came back as we were talking, and i simply told him let's cover up our bones as i unfolded a napkin and draped it over his plate, and he nodded in immediate understanding, and i switched conversation topics to something light like oh where are you from what did you do before this what drugs did you take and it was an otherwise fine lunch as we all commiserated over our substance abuses and
and
and ever since then, even during subsequent life-changing mental breakdowns, it's never been as bad as that first one, because i think of her (i can't remember her name i wish i did she deserves me to remember her name) and i am grateful that i can look at a pile of chicken bones and be okay
as far as psych ward experiences go mine was pretty much as positive as one could get and i'm so lucky and i'm so grateful but
it wasn't until way after my experience that i learned that other psych wards gave their patients fun grippy socks.
i never got grippy socks. and even worse than that.
i never got my fucking shoelaces back.
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servin-up-surveys · 8 months ago
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survey #201
Do you like meatball subs? I really don't, they just make the bread soggy, which I cannot tolerate texturally.
What is your favorite smell on earth? Fresh baked goods. Cinnamon rolls are the best.
If you have a sib, do you call him/her “brother” or “sister” sometimes? I call Ashley "big sis" quite a bit, and sometimes "little sis" for Nicole.
Did you ever collect stickers? I did in my childhood for a very long time! My original dresser ended up completely covered in stickers because that's where I kept my collection of them.
Have you been baptized in any religious tradition? I was as a baby.
Do you love the smell of sunblock? I don't.
What was the last upsetting thing that happened to you? An asthma flare-up. Since my actual attack at the very end of January, I've now had FOUR more instances where my oxygen levels were on the very, very brink of "I need to go to the ER." One time I literally would've gone again if Mom hadn't told me not yet (she didn't want me waiting for hours because my oxygen wasn't low enough to be attended to immediately). I'm very stressed out about it; I'm not supposed to see a pulmonologist until June, but Mom and I are praying that there's a cancellation I can slide into.
What was the last thing you ordered from Starbucks? I've never gone there because I hate coffee. Oh wait, I have gotten a treat from there, but I can't recall what it was, this was years ago.
Do you trust your doctor? I trust my primary doctor and therapist. My current psychiatrist is an absolute fucking joke and after my last appointment, I refuse to go again. We're gonna try and set me up with a psychiatrist where my therapist is.
Do you ever question if your mother loves you? God no, I know me and my siblings are her world.
What is missing in your life? Fun. Adventure.
What is your favorite type of Lunchables? Nachos, zeeeeero competition.
What is the worst medication side effect you’ve ever had? As far as the most truly unenjoyable, vomiting. Scariest, bodily spasms and the constant state of feeling like I was on the very precipice of a seizure. What I'm assuming was probably the most dangerous, hypomania.
What is your favorite thing to order at Taco Bell? Fiesta potatoes.
What church do you go to? I don't go to church.
Do you take risks often? I really don't. I need to be more willing to. Not stupid ones of course, but sometimes risks are necessary for growth and success.
The last time you ate leftovers, what was it that you were eating? My mom made these sorta cheesecake bars to bring to Girt's the other day, because he was obsessed with them when Mom made them last, so his family got to try it and were also hooked, haha. I can't remember everything in it, but I know it included a sugar cookie base, chocolate chips (I think?), toffee bits, pecans (which you really couldn't taste, it was mostly a texture thing), and caramel.
What was the last flavor of ice cream you ate? Vanilla.
What is your favorite song at the moment? Probably "V.A.N." by Bad Omens and Poppy, at least for right now. It's not my favorite song ever, but it's newer so more enjoyable to listen to lately.
What is one thing you have too much of? fat lmao
What type of fruit do you eat the most? Apples.
Would you rather eat strawberries or watermelon? Strawberries. Watermelon is too watery to me, I don't enjoy it.
Do you prefer hamburgers or hot dogs? Burgers.
How far away do you live from the place where you were born? The hospital I was born at is barely five minutes away.
If you buried a time capsule, what would you put in it? Oh I have no idea.
Describe your clothing style in three words: Comfortable. Lazy. Dark.
What’s something you want to do more often? Be outside.
Who is your favorite YouTuber? Of all-time, Markiplier. I don't really have a favorite these days, just a few I enjoy a lot. Some of these are Game Grumps, Snake Discovery, NKFherping, John Wolfe, Shane Dawson, Woolie VS, and Gab Smolders.
Do you believe in soulmates? No.
What band or artist do you think is overrated? I just really don't care, let people enjoy the shit they like. Just because I don't enjoy an artist doesn't mean other people can't.
What’s something untrue that you believed for a long time? Uhhhh maybe that slit pupils on a snake always meant it was venomous. I've known that's incorrect for years, but I did think that was a universal rule when I was younger.
Did you skateboard when you were younger? No. I kinda passively wanted to, but was never too interested to actually learn.
Have you ever won a contest? A few, mostly related to writing ability.
What’s something weird you’ve eaten? An orange yogurt-flavored treat for guinea pigs lmao
Who is someone you would like to get to know better? An acquaintance from high school named Courtlyn. We're Facebook friends and interact sometimes, but I'd love to get to know her better.
When’s that last time you saw snow? It's been like two years. :/
Who are the 3 people you love the most? Mom, Girt, and then I'm not sure who would be #3. There's a collection of people that come to mind, not just a single one.
Last person you slept in the same bed with? Girt.
Have you recently been sick? No.
Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex? Yeah.
Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds? I think this would vary from person to person. For me, it was infinitely worse. I never would've anticipated the pain I went through.
Last reason you went to the ER? I had an asthma attack.
What facial cleanser do you use? I don't use one anymore.
Have you ever cheated on the significant other that you have now? I've never cheated on a significant other, period.
Do your parents like your boyfriend/girlfriend? They both love him and have loved him since we were teenagers.
What was the last fruit or vegetable you chopped/sliced up? An apple.
Does the last person whose house you were at like anyone? Me, I'm his girlfriend.
Do you tend to talk on the phone a lot? No, I literally hate talking on the phone. Primarily because over the phone, my auditory processing issues are worse, but also because I dislike not being able to see body language/expressions and it's just annoying to hold a phone and talk to someone and stop what I'm doing when you could just message me.
What turns you on the most? do not touch my boobies ok
Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yes.
Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you? Not seriously. I can ponder the possibility of Jason having had something going on with the girl he dated after me with how quickly they got together (over Facebook, anyway), but I genuinely do doubt this. If anything, he was over it/open to someone else quick.
Ever get caught doing something naughty with your boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes and we never addressed it and I'm thrilled about that lmfao
Do you use q-tips to clean your ears? Only occasionally, and I'm very careful when I do because overuse/going too deep with them before caused wax to dry and adhere to both of my eardrums and I had to have it suctioned out by a specialty doctor. The doc was very serious about q-tips being an awful idea for internal cleaning, but I can't stand NEVER doing it.
Have you ever swam with dolphins? No, but I'd like to.
If you/your gf became pregnant accidentally, would you consider abortion? I would get an abortion. It'd be the better option for everyone involved; yes, including the potential baby.
What was the last candy you ate? Peach rings.
Do you like zombie movies? Indifferent.
What’s the grossest/worst thing you’ve ever seen in a public restroom? Blood completely covering the underside of the seat.
Have you ever volunteered in a hospital? If not, would you ever want to? No to both.
How do you feel about runny egg yolks? The concept of that going in my mouth makes me want to fucking hurl.
Have you ever hidden a relationship from your family? No.
Who was the worst friend you ever had? Colleen, when it boils down to it.
When was the last time you made plans with someone? What are you going to do with that person? A couple days ago, at least loosely. Girt and I are gonna hang out here this weekend. Dunno what day yet.
Are you close to your extended family? Do you wish you were closer? No; yes.
While on the road, do you play any road games? No.
Have you ever picked apples before? Not really, like at an orchard or something, but I have picked a wild apple out of a tree (it was on a friend's property; we all did it, with the owner) and it was the best apple I ever had.
Are you scared of semi-trucks? Especially when you’re driving next to one? I'm terrified of them. I get tense when I'm in a car where the driver is near one.
Do you have a fence? Along the back and one side of the house, we do.
If you have any pets, do you talk to them in a baby voice? uh, duh
Who was the last person to comfort you? My mom during one of those bad asthmatic episodes.
Do you think that in the end, everything will fall into place? Not necessarily, no. This sadly doesn't happen to everyone. Some people just live a shitty story with no pleasant resolution, no matter what they do.
What was the last thing you swallowed? Flavored water.
Do you like cats? I adore cats. I'm glad Girt's an obsessed cat dad now too because that means more cats in our future, haha.
On a scale of one to ten how much do looks matter to you? In a potential partner? Probably like... 2 or 3.
What are you listening to? "The Death of Peace of Mind" by Bad Omens.
What’s the closest pink object to you? There's pastel pink on the tumbler my sister gave me that I use for my flavored waters.
Are you afraid of thunderstorms? So, yes, but I can also enjoy them. I only get scared when there's a tornado risk.
Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy? No. But I know historically, I've been happier when with a partner.
How much effort did you put into your last relationship? Before my current one? I put my all into it. I mean, at the time, I thought I was in love with this person. And when I feel like that, I go all in.
Do you have impulse control? Yes, at least to a degree. I can tell you I'm not the best at controlling my mouth when I'm hurt, but I'm definitely better than I was as a teen.
Would you do anything on a dare? Nope. I don't even go along with dares, I'll do what I want to and not do what I don't want to.
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connieshusband · 3 years ago
Text
Fucking hate you, love to fuck you
Hate sex
Oikawa x fem!reader
"fuck you!" "Is that a promise?"
4k
Tumblr media
reader was the captain and ace of the girls team, reader goes to Aoba Josai, reader is also Kag's cousin
Degradation, Slight Feminization Kink, Praise Kink, Fluffy Ending, Fluff and Angst, I'm not very good at writing smut, I also got tired while writing so its short... sorry, Sir Kink: but very minor, no beta we die like men
-cross posted on my ao3:  https://archiveofourown.org/works/31932412
MINORS DNI
Summary:
You hadn't registered that you'd slapped him until he look at you holding his red cheek with his large hand.
And you certainly hadn't registered that he had his tongue down your throat not a moment later. An honest to god moan leaving your lips which he smugly ate up.
___
Degration as well as any kink should have the full consent of all parties involved every time!!
I'm not very good at e2l so be gentle 🤩
I'm such a simp lmao
Oikawa could never figure out why you hated him when you both entered your first year of high school. Having come from a different middle school than you, he figured you'd be like the rest of the people in your grade level and fall all over him.
He wanted to ask why you had such a large stick up your ass during your first group project but chickened out. He assumed you'd at least get along as you were captain of the girls volleyball team and known for your powerful spikes. The setter in him really wanted to find out your perfect toss.
But it wasn't until your 3rd year when he came to despise you too.
He'd overheard you telling your best friend that your cousin made it onto his high schools volleyball team. Being the nosey Nelly that he is, he made the mistake of asking which school your cousin attended.
"Karasuno," you said, your chest puffed out.
It clicked: the black hair, intense expression, the last name even. He could practically see his protégé in the reflection of your eyes. He mentally slapped himself for not seeing it sooner.
His eyes narrowed, matching yours as tension of your silent beat down had to be cut by Iwazumi.
_____
You set down your suitcase, giving your aunt a big hug as she greeted you in the doorway. You give Tobio a fist bump as he helps you carry your things into the spare bedroom.
Your aunt had graciously allowed you to stay with her so you could be closer to school for your final year.
"I can't believe you're dropping volleyball club just as I'm about to join," Tobio whined, setting a suitcase on a chair in the corner of the room.
"I know," you said sullenly. You hadn't wanted to, but being captain and a 3rd year just wasn't going to be practical. Not being the best student, you thought it would be a wise decision.
Having always been close your your cousin on your dad's side came with its perks, including but not limited to drama. Ever since Tobio had joined volleyball in middle school he'd talked about Oikawa, usually brushing off some of the down right nasty things he'd said. But you hadn't. You took it upon yourself to help him train harder and harder to be able to defeat his bully when he'd found out he couldn't attend Aoba Josai with you.
Being an ace had its advantages when teaching Tobio about different techniques on how to set up a spiker best. Often gossiping about the smug bastard as you worked.
Of course, there was no escaping the pretty boy at school either. When your best friend, Ryu, had started dating his best friend Iwaizumi, being the 3rd and 4th wheel at hangouts became increasingly awkward.
And even worse when she mentioned your current math grade. Damn that ginger setter. And Mr. Perfect boasting about his grades to you. Which had lead you to your current situation.
Sitting in his bedroom.
Listening to him drawl on and on with rapidly decreasing interest.
While he looked hot as fuck.
What?!
With new found annoyance you scoffed at him snapping his fingers in your face.
"earth to y/n, I know I'm ravishing, but now it's math time." He said, a smirk decorating his lips.
“I ignored you on purpose, dumbass. Don't you get that I hate you?"
"I'm not asking you to stay, besides this has nothing to do with me?? Its calculus..."
"narcissist," you mumbled under your breath.
"must be your type," he shot back, "gawking at me for the last hour."
"aren't you dating whats-her-face from English?" You retorted, feeling your face heat up.
"yeah??" he said, confused.
You mocked his confusion, ""yeah" God, then stop flirting with me."
He scoffed, an eyebrow disappearing into bangs, "you must be a narcissist if you think I'm flirting with you because wow, it almost like I can't stand the sight of you, y/n," he rolled his eyes in disgust, sitting up in his chair indignantly.
You push him back into his chair, turning on your heels, saying nothing more.
"good!! I was going to kick you out anyway!"
____
You notice his current girlfriend wasn't hanging out with him at lunch nor sitting in his lap during English. In fact. He hadn't found new arm candy by the time your next session rolled around the following week.
___
After begrudgingly agreeing to do another tutoring session and making him promise no funny business, that rule was broken when he had his sleeves rolled up of his blue silk shirt, he glasses laying forgotten on the table, fingers rubbing his tired eyes as he tried to explain a difficult problem to you.
How could Tooru Oikawa be so fucking sexy and such a fucking dick at the same time?
Asking myself this a lot while writing
"fuck you, Oikawa! I don't need your bullshit!"
"fine! Fucking go then!" Giving you a light shove towards the door.
You hadn't registered that you'd slapped him until he look at you holding his red cheek with his large hand.
And you certainly hadn't registered that he had his tongue down your throat not a moment later. An honest to god moan leaving your lips which he smugly ate up.
You shoved him against his bed, your own smugness drinking up his moan.
You pulled your tank top off as you climbed on top of him. "You have condoms?" You asked, cringing at your breathless voice.
He flipped your position, hot breath fanning your ear, "don't you want to be filled with my cum, baby?"
Rolling your eyes, you flipped the position again, "the last thing the world needs is more of you running around."
He considered it before saying with a shrug "top drawer."
Leaning over, your legs still gripping his hips, you pulled out a condom wrapper and tossed it at his face. His nose scrunching cutely.
"pull some weight, lazykawa," you said, yanking his pants and underwear to his ankles. He was already fully hard and you took great satisfaction in wordlessly teasing him.
Trying to ignore you, a blush creeping up around his ears as he hurriedly rolling the condom onto his thick length, as you remove your bra. He flips your position once more, hovering over you, a taunting smirk plastered over his lips.
"can't go 10 minutes without getting your greedy pussy fucked?"
"Can't that mouth do anything besides half-assed insults, Shittykawa?" You mocked, he raised a cheeky eye brow at you.
He lowered his face to you heat, "want to find out?" You grip his hair harshly and shove his face between your thighs.
He rips off you panties and eagerly laps around your cunt before catching himself, slowing his ministrations.
He gripped your thighs as he buried his face in your heat. Alternating between sucking in your clit and finger fucking you, never letting you get both at the same time.
You bit your tongue, doing your best to avoid begging for more - a futile endeavor.
"C'mon babygirl, I know you want it," he sing-songed
You swallowed your pride, "please Tooru."
"sorry couldn't hear you, your legs were busy clamping around my ears.
Your legs shook in frustration and pleasure as he lazily drummed his finger on your sweet spot.
He leaned overtop of you, sucking harshly in your neck as his other hand massages your ass.
"please, Tooru! Please sir!"
"oo~" he remarks, returning between your legs, 3 fingers entering you suddenly as he nibbled along your thigh, quickly returning to sucking on your clit.
You come hard and without warning.
"delicious," he remarks, sitting up and licking his fingers clean, "and so many lewd noises too."
"You have a knack for bringing out the worst in people," you attempt to sound threatening but only succeeding in boosting his ego.
"Oh no~ I hate to find out what the best would be..." He unbuttons his blue silk shirt, allowing you to drink up the full show of his abs. "Not talking so big now, eh, Kageyama?"
You scowl at him before grunting a "just fuck me already".
"don't mind if I do."
You connected your lips with his, enjoying the noises he made as his neglected cock became engulfed in your warmth.
Neither of you lasted long.
He emptied himself into the rubber with a sexy grunt lining up with your moan.
After care he collapsed on top of you, his deep breaths matching yours.
Your hands still resting on his back, feeling scratches from your nails decorating his skin.
He had pressed his forehead to yours, you looked up to meet his eyes which were flitting between the purple marks on your neck and your eyes.
He hadn't held your gaze for more than a second when the realization of what just happened hit both of you at once. Pushing your bodies apart, you shamefully picked up your clothes from the floor leaving the room quickly.
____
It had been weeks since that day. You hadn't gone back for another tutoring session, claiming to Ryu that your grades had improved.
The free time had allowed you to be a better supporter for your cousin, getting a chance to meet his teammates and his friends.
You meet Karasuno's Ryu and think to yourself how well he and your Ryu would get along
While hanging out with your cousin at the spring tournament, you were enjoying a lunch break with a vibrant ginger, his best friend Hinata and a mutual friend with spiky hair. Bokuto, you had learned, was in your year and had a ton in common with you.
Maybe you'd gotten carried away returning his flirty looks and laughing a little too hard at his jokes. He remarked often how different your personality was from your cousin. After exchanging numbers to practice volleyball sometime (him being excited to practice with another captain/ace) an unfortunately familiar voice pulled you away from your fun.
"y/n?"
"what?" You roll your eyes, at Oikawa. You knew he had been watch you and the rest of Karasuno after they had win their first game. Beside you, you can feel the 3 boys, especially Tobio fuming.
"I have a question about the math assignment."
"I'm busy."
"too bad."
Recognizing that he wasn't going to go away until you give in, you stand up, brushing the dust from your bottoms. He leads the way out of sight from your new friends.
He harshly pushes you against the wall, "what do you think you're doing princess?"
You flip your position, he winced as his back connects with the concrete wall. "You ask you the same thing, princess."
His hand instinctively wrapped around your muscular arm submissively.
"you like that don't you?" You asked.
He nervously glanced around him for on lookers. Luckily he'd chosen a pretty secluded spot
"wouldn't want your fan girls to see you being treated like the pretty white you are?" You smirked.
He nodded shyly.
You grabbed his ass, earning a submissive squeak from him.
"such a good princess, getting his flat ass groped," you smile, you see him swallow a moan as his eyes flutter shut.
You begin painfully slowly palming him through his shorts, feeling him grow under you.
"I hope you lose," you whisper sensually into his ear.
He scowls at you as you pull away completely. Leaving him hard, exposed, and blushing as you return to your new friends.
______
The cheers from Karasuno's supporters hadn't quieted down as the team packed up. Still high on adrenaline and pride for your baby cousin, you took the time to use the bathroom before the long drive home.
Rounding the corner you heard voices, recognizing one to be Oikawa and the other belonging to a deep voiced man.
Sneaking a peak your eyes go wide. He was face to face with Ushiwaka. The former not fairing well in the conversation. You didn't think a man could look for upset than the way Oikawa looked right now.
As the conversation comes to a close, you wait until Oikawa has gone out if sight to chase after him. Accidentally running into Ushiwaka.
"sorry" you mumble, attempting to move past.
"you're with karasuno, yes?" Ushiwaka asks.
Your mind didn't really register him, instead giving him a quick pat on the shoulder and a "that's great, buddy," as you run after the brunette.
Hearing an "I look forward to playing them." In the distance.
"Hey!"
He was too far ahead to really hear you, pushing past the front doors.
"HEY!" You yell, nearly at his heels. You stand in the doorway breathing hard, "TOORU!"
He turns to face you, Iwaizumi annoyed that he can't convince their captain to just get on the bus already.
You beckon him over and he skeptically approaches you.
"here to gloat?" He asks, his voice lacking the usual sharpness.
"Tobio is staying at Hinata's tonight and my aunt is out is town for the next two days," you say.
You see the cogs working as he pieces together what you're offering. His mouth forming an 'o' shape as he realizes.
You smile smugly before running back to where Karasuno's bus is parked, giving Tobio a running jump hug, which he awkwardly returned.
__
If nothing else, Oikawa was punctual. Arriving at exactly at 7:30. You hadn't done anything special, just heated up 2 frozen pizzas that your aunt had left. Watching his form as he quietly ate his 3 cheese. He hadn't said a word besides "thank you" after you'd served him. While yes, apart of you meant when you'd said that you hoped he lose but the guilt of seeing the cocky bastard looking so small on the other side of the table, nibbling on the crust. Pity maybe?
"You played really we-"
His eyes were red, his pride keeping him from crying in front of you. "I don't want to talk about it."
"You want to have sex?"
he hesitated before asking, "can we be nice?"
You nodded. Making your way to his chair, straddling his hips and cupping his face. You kissed him slow and deliberate. You don't kiss long before you start to feel his dick springing to life. You stand up pulling him, walking backwards, towards your room accidentally walking into the partially open door.
"Graceful," he commented, a hint of his salty tone under his words as he resumed kissing you.
You grinded against each other for a few moments, drinking in each others moans. You pulled away momentarily, his cheeks dusted pink, breathing heavy, his dick straining in his pants.
"You're so beautiful," you said. He blushed harder, his cock twitching in it's confines. Your fingers dip under the waistband of his pants and pull them down, licking your lips when his cock hits his stomach. You're about to press your lips to his tip when you feel pressure on your forehead.
"y-you don't have to..." he says. You cock your head to one side, your lips parted as you gaze up at him. "I-I get it you know... I don't hold it against you..."
"I want to," you say, "if you want me to."
He nods slowly, his eyes fluttering shut as he enters your warm mouth.
Out of all the sex you'd had, this moment with Tooru didn't feel like sex. It felt like making love.
After he got close, you popped your mouth off and had ridden him. His muscles still sore from his games. Your lips danced with his as his hips met yours. Both of you reaching your climax simultaneously.
Tired in the best way, you cuddle up to his bare chest, kissing his cheek, "don't think this means I like you, flatass."
"of course," he says, relaxing into your touch.
"good."
"it was the fact that my dick was down your throat that made be think that."
You punch him in the ribs, earning an 'ouch' followed by a quiet, "let me have one win today." Followed by an even quieter "sorry" from you.
You place a gentle kiss on his cheek again before returning to your snuggle position. He wraps his arms around your waist as you both drift off to sleep.
______
It's been a number of days and neither if you had spoken about it. You wanted to text him a simple 'good morning' but the image of him quietly shuffling out of your room at the crack of dawn when he thought you were still sleeping, placing a gentle kiss on your temple. You didn't want to seem too eager or somehow let on that not only were you awake but had enjoyed when he'd done it.
After the girls had lost to Fukurodani's girls in the semi finals, Ryu had insisted on dragging you out to play volleyball with her and some 'friends'. You secretly hope it's the other girls from your team. You find yourself not disappointed that it's Iwaizumi and Oikawa.
"Warm up 'Yama!" Oikawa yells at you, serving the ball in your direction as you and Ryu approach.
Caught off guard for a moment, you return the ball back at him, hitting his face lightly with an oof.
Of course, Ryu wanted to set for her boyfriend, leaving you with Oikawa.
You made a pretty good team, he picked up your style quickly, the ball exactly where you wanted it without having to tell him anything. Not to mention that Oikawa had racked up a third of the points on service aces alone, Iwaizumi finally adjusting to being on the receiving end on them. He and Ryu had made a magnificent comeback, clearly having practiced with each other before. You were lucky if you could get a piece of one of Iwa's spikes, Tooru faired better but they quickly took the lead. You grab Oikawa's arm, causing him to look at you curiously.
"set it to me, but I'll set it back. You spike it," you said, finishing your sentence by looking at him.
He considers it.
"break it up love birds!" Iwa shouted at you. Ryu making obnoxious kissing noises behind him. You quickly let go of his arm to flip her off, causing her to burst out laughing.
Iwa serves.
"it's mine!" Tooru yells. Mid jump, he faces you, the subtlest of winks as the ball flies into the air.
Smiling, you angle your body for a spike, Ryu taking the bait, but at the last moment, your hand sent the ball perpendicular to the net, straight into Oikawa's hand. The ball whizzing past Iwa's ear.
The adrenaline getting the better of you as you both embrace, celebrating a successful kill.
You revel in you best friend and her stoic boyfriend exchanging a bewildered look.
At the end of the game Oikawa offers to drive you home, when out of the way of prying eyes, he leans against his car. "Before your cousin goes to nationals, he and shorty should play against us."
"Yeah and maybe Tobio can set for me one round," you say, playing with the hem of his shirt, "but if there's any funny business from you, I'm calling it off."
"Who, me??" he jokes, aware of his history with your family.
You don't respond, opting to gently press your lips to his. He returns the kiss, cupping your face.
________________
Did I write myself into the story? ┐( ∵ )┌ Maybe a little...
I'm also not opposed to doing a part two, so lemme know in the comments ( ꈍᴗꈍ)
Also not me writing my first Haikyuu fic be Oikawa when I wanna break his knees 🥴🤚 (couldn't resist tho he's been on my mind, especially with glasses 🥵🤒)
Also also not me writing this from 1:30 am to 8am then had half my work deleted so I had to redo it the following night 🤪👈
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applepi-1 · 3 years ago
Text
He's afraid of hurting you
Tsukishima x Y/n
Terushima x y/n
Atsumu x y/n
Warnings: fluff
Mentions of rape on Atusma's part.... sorry :(
Also I do request…
-596 words-
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You and Tsuki have been friends for as long as you remember, it's always been you, Tsukishima, and Yamaguchi. Always. But somehow you fell for the tall salty dino-loving jerk. You guys did everything together and you were the only other person he tolerated. When you met the team people asked Yamaguchi if you guys were dating, both laughing until you saw Tsukishima. You ran to him and began to bug him, much to everyone's shock (except Yama) when the tall boy smiled softly down at you.
Tsukishima also fell for you, but... he was scared, he covered his feelings with salty comments, but with you he could never, you were his soft spot. He always admired the way you smiled, laugh, or the face you make when you were concentrated or were nervous. He finds it adorable, but he won't tell you that. He'll tease you about how your face looks, but you'd laugh it off.
So, come to both of your surprises when you confess. It was a normal Tuesday, except it was just you two walking home, since Yamaguchi was sick. "Hey, Tsuki, can I be honest with you?" You asked once y'all reached your house.
"Would you rather lie?"
"No, god no... but uh, I like you..." You nervously messed with your fingers. You felt as if your heart was hitting your ribcage as hard as Oikawa serves a ball. Tsukishima felt as if he was dreaming, feeling his stomach twist and his heard dance. But... still fear ate at the boy.
"I like you too..." You smiled immediately. "But I can't be with you." And immediately faded.
"What...?" What kind of confession it that, he began to panic as he saw tears form.
"It's not that I don't want to be, Y/n, trust me, I do... but..." The words got stuck in his throat, he's not used to being this vulnerable. "I-I'm scared..." Your eyes grew at how soft his voice was, he was biting his lip so he didn't show his feelings.
"W-Why...?" You watch him tug on his jersey, the showers were down so none of the players thought of changing.
"I... I don't want to hurt you..."
"Is this about, E/n?" You asked, talking about the bitch who left Tsukishima for her best friend. He said something uncalled for, but that didn't give her the right to cheat and blame Tsukishima.
"Maybe... no, this is about how I'm not good in relationships, the last one I was in, she cheated on because of what I said to her... I.."
"I would never." You finished his sentence making him look at you. "Tsuki, you guys got into an argument, big deal. Couples argue you salty dino." Tsukishima surpassed a laugh as you continued, "It did not give her the right to cheat because you called her out for flirting with that idiot she cheated on you with. I know you loved her, but... I'm not her. If we fight, I'll sit in front of you despite your harsh words. Just like I always do. The only guy I want to flirt with or have my attention is you." He looked down at you and felt his shoulders drop.
"R-Really?" You grabbed his face and smiled.
"I'm willing to do this if you are..." He looked down at you before wrapping his arms around you, you sighed into him, wrapping your arms around his neck.
"I don't deserve you... I love you so much, Y/n..." You smiled leaning into your best friend, your now boyfriend.
"I love you too, Tsuki."
-751 words-
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You sighed into your seat, watching your best friend flirt up a storm with someone else. Kazuma Bobata knew of your feelings, and of the feelings of #1, Yūji Terushima. He sighed and sat next to you, placing a hand on your shoulder making you jump and look away from your crush. "Oh, Kazuma. Hi." He just gave you a look, you furred your brows, what crawled up his ass? "Everything good, Kaz?"
"No, our friend is hurting you." You raised your brows. "Don't deny it, I'm not stupid." He said once he saw you about to open your mouth, you sighed and looked down.
"How long...?"
"Since we met." I sighed again resting my head in my hands.
"What do I do...?"
"Confess you, idiot." You looked up to him immediately, Terushima looked in your direction hearing Kazuma call you an idiot.
"What, no?!" You didn't mean to yell but you did, your best friend left the girl standing there confused as he walked over to you, seeing you laugh a little.
"Everything okay, Y/n?"
"Huh?" Your face reddens hoping he didn't hear Kazuma say something about confessing.
"I'm trying to get her to confess to her crush." You immediately whipped your head to Kazuma.
"Dude!" You slapped his arm, Terushima felt his heartbreak, wincing a little, but it went unnoticed to you both.
"How about you practice on Terushima?"
"What..... /////-/////" Both of you blushed and looked at Kazuma who knew exactly what he was doing.
"Yeah, it'll help you both, Terushima needs to confess to his crush as well." Terushima so badly wanted to hit his friend, but he was right.
"Oh... I..."
"Fine." You looked at your friend in shock, "I... I-I'll help." His heart tugged and winced at his words, as long as your happy, right...? You blinked a couple times...
"Uh... okay...? U-Um, w-when...?"
"After school..."
--
You sighed into your bed, looking at your best friend's eyes. Sighing this is difficult, think of him as someone else. "Okay. Okay. I like you, a lot, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I do. I have since we were running on the playground laying at how stupid a kid looked, and... I like you despite you flirting with every girl you see..." As you continued to list why you liked him with your eyes closed, Terushima felt a smile form on his face, you like him? Once you finished and opened your eyes and saw he was smiling... it that a good sign, then you remembered. "Right... uh, your turn to... p-practice your c-confession..." It hurt you to say practice, you wish this was real.
"Oh... uh, right... Look, I like you so much, but... I don't think it'd work." What?
"Dude, horrible confession, what are you trying to do? Hurt her, make her happy, and confused?"
"Shut up and let me finish." You sighed and punched his shoulder, indicating your listening. "I like you a lot, but... I don't want to be the one hurting you in the end, Y/n... I can't do that. Not to you. I hate myself for letting my ex walk away because I chose to flirt with someone else. But with you... I... I can't do that... It pains me to flirt with other girls when the only girl I want to flirt with is you... But it won't last, I'll fuck up eventually." Congrats, Terushima, you made me happy, sad, and confused.
"I... I'm sorry... what the fuck gives you the right to have this all one-sided." His eyes widen a little, he should've known you had something to say. "So what your ex left, I'm not them, Teru. I like you, hell I fell in love with you and I trust you. If you fuck up and flirt with someone we'll talk it out, not just call it quits, or if you feel the need to flirt with someone, pretend not to know me, and flirt up a storm you dumbass." He laughed a little grabbing your face, but you weren't done. "I love you, you, I know you like me, Teru... but, I love you, and I love all your mistakes, I mean, I stuck around this far haven't I...? Doesn't that mean something... Hm." He cut your rambling off pressing his lips firmly to yours.
"You talk too much." He kissed you again, this time you shivered as the coldness of his tongue ring hit your lip. "I love you. God, I love you."
-959 words-
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Atsumu knew giving you a spare key to his house was foolish. But he wanted to make sure you knew you were welcome, when you reached his house it was 2 in the am, and you needed your best friend more than anything. You took out your spare key and opened his door, jumping when you see Osamu in the kitchen. "Ah, welcome home, Y/n." You laughed shutting the door quietly behind you.
"H-Hi... O-Osamu..." He looked over in your direction immediately noticing the way your voice went high and the way you choked on your words.
"Y-Y/n... did something happen?" You pulled your hand over your mouth, keeping your sobs quiet, Osamu immediately dashed to you, leaving what he was doing in the kitchen. "Oi... ya okay?" You shooked your head as he wrapped his arms around you, letting you sob into his chest. "Talk to me, Y/n..." Osamu was like your big brother, he knows of your feelings toward his twin.
"I... I went on a date..." He sat you down on the couch, giving you some room. "I... H-he... took me to a cafe... and after we ate and stuff... I felt... d-dizzy... and... I c-couldn't stop him..." Atsuma walked down feeling thirsty when he heard your voice, he stopped on the stairs looking at you. "H-How do I... tell A-Atsumu...?" He watched as his brother kissed your head and brought you into his chest.
"Do you want me to tell him...?" He watched as you shook your head. "Just... be honest with him." Atsumu sniffed the air and spoke.
"Is something burning...?" You turn your attention to the other twin. Osamu immediately got up and ran to the kitchen. Atsumu looked at you and noticed how you wouldn't meet his eyes. "Y/n...?" He couldn't help but think you were crying and asking for advice on how to tell him something, he thinks you're seeing his brother, and don't know how to tell him. But boy is he far off.
"I... I need to talk to you... Osamu k-knows a-already..." He looked down at you confused, taking his brother's spot next to you.
"Y/n..." He wants to tell you he knows, but something about your face is saying to wait.
"I... I... I c-can't..." You buried your face into his chest, he was taken back but immediately hugged you. "I... I don't know why I can't... tell you... the words just... won't come out..." He furred his brows, hoping his misreading things.
"It's just me, Y/n." You broke down more, that's the thing, you didn't even want to go on a date, but, you wanted to get rid of your feelings for the blonde twin. You know he'd never like you, but he does. He really does.
"T-That's the p-point..." Osamu came back in and tapped your shoulder.
"I-I don't know much, about ya s-situation, but, here..." You grabbed the water from him and smiled lightly, that confirmed it, he was misreading things.
"Y/n...?" You looked down at your cup.
"Hey, just tell him what you told me."
"Okay..." He furred his brows and sighed.
"Y/n-"
"I was raped." You blurted out cutting Atsumu off... out of all things. He never expected that, Osamu sat there rubbing your shoulder.
"You... what...?"
"She went on a date, got dizzy after..." Atsumu sat closer to you, pulling you into his chest, rubbing your back softly.
"I..." The words got stuck in his throat. "I... will y-you be able to... sleep...?" You laughed at how careful he's being.
"C-Can I stay, w-with you... tonight...?"
"Ya guys can take the guest room, so ya can talk privately, and not annoy me." You both laughed, Atsumu helped you stand before leading you to the bed.
"Ya can take the bed." You gave him a look.
"I, uh, please don't make me sleep alone." He looked at you and sighed.
"I won't," He rubbed your arms gently. He laid over the covers as you laid under, you laughed. "What?"
"I don't bite." He laughed getting under the covers. He watched as you closed your eyes, scooting a little closer. "You can close your eyes and try to sleep you know."
"Sorry, I might not be able to sleep. I usually sleep without a shirt."
"Oh. Then take your shirt off, ya goof." He froze for a second, but slowly sat up, slipping his shirt over his head. He laid back down resting on his back. "Better?"
"Yeah." You nuzzled closer sighing a little.
"Uh, Tsumu, can uh, can you hold me..." He looked at you and saw how you weren't meeting his eyes.
"Come here," you nuzzled your head into his chest letting his arm drape over your shoulder, rubbing it softly, you let out a shaky breath. "Better?"
"Hm, thank you... Tsumu." He squeezed you in response. Once he felt your body get heavier, he kissed your head.
"I'd do anything for ya, I love ya, ya idiot. But... I don't want to hurt ya..." You smiled slightly before looking up making Atsumu turn a deep red. "I thought ya were asleep."
"Eh, but for the record, I love you too... to be honest, I went on the date because... I thought you didn't like me so..."
"Hm, so it's my fault." You sat up immediately as he looked like he was about to cry.
"No, god no."
"If I would have grown a pair, and told you how I felt... none of this would have happened."
"And I wouldn't be here, laying next to you." You traced your fingers over his abs, "I wouldn't be touching you like this." You leaned down pecking his lips. "Kissing you."
"No, no, we'd still do that." You both laugh cuddling into each other. "I love ya."
"I love you too. And you could never hurt me."
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Text
S Plays 'Golden Wildfire' - Part 2
Chapter . . . 5? The Golden Guardian
Story content
JUDITH <3
Oh? Judith says she's filled Count Gloucester's seat, so has Daphnel been given Gloucester's power? Stand by.
Holst """"""ate the mushrooms"""""" again.
Shez: "It's like no one can even sneeze around here without it turning into an endless debate." Wow I wonder what's going to happen to the Alliance
Claude's still talking about retreating when things get rough. Wonder how that's gonna hold up.
He also has a plan up his sleeve. that would have had me cheering in Three Houses, but this is . . . not Three Houses
MARIHILDA C SUPPORT <3 I love them
Missing the Lions a little in this moment
There is SO MUCH PURPLE in this house. Claude, Lorenz, Lysithea, Shez. Kinda wanna recruit Bernadetta and Petra to complete the set.
"There are more commanders of common birth in the Empire of late." Keeping an eye on THIS.
Lorenz "I just came to remind you of your place in Fódlan's society" Hellman Gloucester is uh . . . he's something!
I love him so much flkgjldfgj his voice acting is stellar.
Marianne was forced to join the war by her father.
The Imperial army's head right for Derdriu; conquering is still very obviously the intention
Claude: "It never should have come to this. If only I'd managed everything better in the first place . . ." / "I can't help but feel there was another way I could have handled this."
claude. baby. my love. do you not understand that you're about to proceed to manage it in the worst conceivable way?
Well. Three Hopes is Claude's bad ending. Couldn't have conceived of this for my fallen claude!AU at all.
"I had all these grand ambitions when I became leader. So much I wanted to achieve. But there's no time for any of that now."
See. Here's the thing. Claude was in the exact same position in Houses, but he has the good fucking sense to bow out once he assures the Alliance is safe to work his dream from another angle. He's either forced into surrender in CF (or killed, and the Alliance is stolen), or able to trust a leader on VW/AM. So what you're telling me is that going to Garreg Mach was crucial to him not becoming a literal nightmare for Fódlan.
I'm tempted to be harsher, but I want to know what's going on with Almyra before I fucking tear him to shreds.
Fun, this. Arval: "Do you think your leader is all right? He seems a bit . . . worn out."
People from the Central Church are planning to set up shop (temporarily? permanently?) in Camulus
Soldier acknowledges that Leicester's military is shit; feeds into Faerghus' quality > quantity and Adrestia's quantity > quality.
Priest says Claude invited him there with a direct invitation. Noteworthy?
Gloucester becoming an Imperial vassal has directly and negatively affected trade, according to merchant
?????????????? Judith is . . . hang on--
"The Empire's digging their own grave if they're trying to wipe out the Central Church. Surely the goddess will rain down divine punishment on them. Actually, Judith might crush them before the goddess even gets a chance. She's an extremely devout believer of Seiros, you know." - Alliance soldier
Which is . new? I think?
"House Ordelia doesn't have a shred of good will towards Adrestia [angry portrait]" / "[smiling] The Empire will pay for what they've done!"
WHY IS LYSITHEA SB RECRUITABLE WHAT IN GOD'S NAME?????
Random merc says the world is rotten and needs changing, and she doesn't care whether Adrestia or Leicester wins
Hilda could become a hit musical sensation. "Why do we fight when we don't even hate each other :("
Linhardt refers to the beagles as his former friends which i think is cute (and a little sad)
[Sorry this is taking so long, y'all, this game is so fucking big.]
OH?? INTERESTING. Lorenz, during and excursion: "My father has an unsavory reputation amongst the other nobles, but he is well-loved by the commonfolk."
Honestly? I don't think this is directly contradicted in canon, unlike Duke Aegir who's seen as the direct opposite of his son, so I think I will take this funky piece of information and slot it into canon.
Lysithea and Marianne's support :(( oh the sweet girls.
Claude is being tight-lipped about his scheme (typical) to the frustration of certain Deer (also typical) with the implication/wording that makes it seem like it has something to do with Almyra.
OH GOD? "Lorenz, apologies in in advance" ??? FUCK
????????????? Gloucester launched an attack on Myrddin and took back the bridge? Gloucester and Ordelia are about to own Acheron's land?????
Ferdinand made a promise to Edelgard? Interesting
Anyway, nothing to do with Almyra; when Claude and Count Gloucester were seen chatting in the demo, this is likely what they were planning. Gloucester's attack hinged on the success in derdriu
HE WALKS LIKE A CLAUDE AND IS SWEET LIKE A CLAUDE BUT THIS CAN'T BE A CLAUDE
Gameplay
You can revisit main battles! Which is cool
You can customize weapon builds; i.e., choose whether you boost things like might or uses
Changed voiceover languages and AAAAAAAA JP!Claude you make everything okay <3<3
Claude and Lorenz are tied for my favourite units (but cavalry has been my favourite overall)
Main Battle - The Derdriu Gambit
God help me
OHO SHIT FERDINAND AND BERNADETTA (dialogue scene)
Breaks me feeble little heart to hear Ferdinand talk about capturing Derdriu I won't lie
Claude sounded so vulnerable (JP voice) asking Judith to win this fight for him fgkjdglkj Claude my baby i love you but also I hate you right now
Okay, so Balthus can be recruited here. I have no strong feelings about him, so I'm . . . not gonna do that.
A little annoyed that i HAVE to deploy shez for the battle but oh well
Sorry but Derdriu is fucking gorgeous??? damn i get why everyone loves it now
HOLST OVERPOWERED THE MUSHROOMS
PLAYABLE HOLST
yikes. time to start over.
The music in this game fucks
FINALLY i did it
Side Battles
PETRA NO WAIT DON'T MAKE ME FIGHT YOU
So the side battles here are a mix of fighting Adrestia in northern Gloucester, fighting off both bandits and Imperial soldiers, and saving sailors from bandits.
Oh hello ladislava
Blurbs
Claude actually shouting after a victory--love him. I can ignore his horrendous morals for that voice <3 /j
Usually I would be flirting with Claude but fuck Hopes!Claude so Lorenz it is
OH MY GOOODDDDDDD WAIT WAIT WAIT I HAVE TO ACTUALLY TAKE A PICTURE FOR THIS ONE. I think i'll post this separately. (the little byleth running animation from the loading screen in Houses is now any two units on horseback if you go on an excursion.)
Oh my god the excursion animation
AND WE'RE DONE
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futurewriter2000 · 3 years ago
Text
If I can't have you, nobody can - pt. 4
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A/N: This had been in my drafts for a while. I'm literally having another book idea that's why it's taking me so long to write this because I'm not writing the book idea but I will. Writing this makes me feel more productive, lol. But the bok idea goddamn I gotta go to it. Can't believe I have to go to my night shift.
XX
Today you had woken up differently than usually. It was as if all the burden has suddenly been lifted off your chest. You only thought of him when you had realised you hadn't thought of him the moment you woke up. You only thought of him when you realised how much the thought of him didn't bring you pain anymore.
It was as if... it was gone.
It was just... gone? - How could it have just disappeared? It couldn't have just poofed out of your chest and into the Universe, could it?
You didn't want to cry at the thought of him anymore. Instead, you just missed him... but easier than before.
You smiled and you got up from your bed. You ate your breakfast and drank your coffee. You got dressed up for your Muggle job, since you were still waiting for an acceptance letter from a Muggle college. You had decided to study Muggle college not because you hated the Wizarding world, far from that, you had thought of many occupations there but you hadn't made up your mind. One part of you wanted to be an Auror, the other wanted to be a Healer, then there was Professor, a writer, an artist, a mathematician- you genuinely wanted to try everything and you just couldn't decide. So you had decided to experience Muggle college. Since you were a Muggleborn after all, you could go with some of your friends from primary school before Hogwarts.
You hadn't much decided on the course but Psychology was really pulling you into it. Mostly because you could pick any course to go with it; Italian, French, Astrology, history, literature, management, photography, ... and you could change courses if you don't find yourself in any of those.
To you... life was just something you wanted to experience or let life experience you for a while.
To take the road less travelled by- you told yourself.
You had a smile on your face your whole shift. It was a lovely summer job; you packed the material for an industry. It wasn't physically or mentally hard. You were on good terms with your boss, your co-workers and your money. It payed well, it did take a lot of your time but it was also simple and you could practically do whatever you wanted to.
After work, when you had finally come home, you took a nice long shower and wrapped yourself into blankets. With a smile on your face, you fell asleep as lovely as you could.
Until that ring. That awful reality call that pulls you out of your sweet dreams and reminds you of your problems.
Dad. - said the caller ID.
You knew the time. You knew everything without even picking the call but you did it anyway.
Drunk in a bar with no ride home.
From your cozy bed with weights on your whole body, especially your eyes into a bar with a stench of alcohol and cigarettes. You saw your father, arguing with the waitress and with that sight, your whole heart sunk.
Why you?
"Come on, dad." you put your hand on his shoulder. "Let's go."
"No, wait!" he raised his tone, glaring at the woman a few seats away from him. "Do you want to suck my cock?!"
"Excuse me?!" said the woman as you had become speechless at his comment.
"I said: Do yOu wAnT tO suck ON my cOck?"
"Oh, my God." you rolled your eyes, feeling full embarrassment cover your whole body.
"No. I just want you to take your argument with the waitress somewhere else."
"Well, if yOU doN'T WAnt tO suck On my COCk then I am nONE of yOUR bUsiness." he said as he swallowed that last sip and shouted for another one.
"I am so, dreadily sorry." you appologised to the woman and all she did was give you a sympathetic look.
"Come on, dad. Let's go home." you tried to pull him off the chair but he didn't budge.
"HOme?!" he laughed. "To a whore like you?" he started and you felt your cheeks flush red, looking around in embarrassment and wanting to cry. "Home?! Where all you do is NOTHING! Finished school and now working a poor job in an industry instead of becoming a physician."
"I don't want to be a physician." you spoke quietly, still trying to gather all the confidence and dignity you had left.
"You don't cook or clean. All you do is sleep and go to that pitiful job. Shame to the family name, you dirty slut- just like your mother."
"You know what, you drunk piece of arse!" you heard a deep angry voice shout after a loud slam on the bar. "To have a kind, wonderful daughter who finished school, who works hard, who pays for your food and cleans the house- to have a daughter who picks your drunk arse from a bar like that would be a blessing to an every man here in England! For you to accuse her of whoring around after what you had just said to that woman on the other side of the bar, I would put you into shame. You bring shame to the family name that she is trying to restore, you worthless, pitiful piece of rubbish!" the man continued to shout, turning to you and cupping your face. "He's not worth it, (y/n). Come on." he said and the next thing you knew, you were outside the bar and with that disapparated into somewhere small and old, yet decorated quite lovely.
It didn't take you long to know who he was but it did take you quite a lot of time to process what had just happened.
"Wait..:" you shook your head and looked around. "Did we just leave him there?"
"Yes." he said, looking into your eyes with his hazel ones; pity? - maybe that was what reflected in them.
You didn't know if you wanted to be furious at him or if you wanted to break down. The latter wasn't an option and you hadn't had the strength to open the doors to the past. So instead, you hugged your arms and sat down in silence.
He didn't do much instead of waving his wand for something that you later realised was to make you tea. He sat down next to you and let his eyes wander before his words could.
"Are you..." he stopped, reading your sorrowful, ashamed eyes before reconstructing his question. "Can I hug you?"
You didn't even look at him to see how hurt he was from seeing you so sad. In his whole life, he had known you as someone whose eyes would always sparkle with joy and whose presence would lit up every room. You leaned into him, curling up and letting your head fall into his lap.
You hadn't much thought of anything. Your head was empty except of your father's words that echoed in your head. You squeezed your eyes for the tears to drop but you hadn't let out a sob just yet.
He took your hair from your cheek and brushed it back. "I'm sorry for what happened." he started and by the tone of his voice, you felt as if you lost yours. A big lump formed in your throat and you could feel your lips tremble. "You're far from the things he told you you are. He's a fool to disregard how far you have come."
"I try, James." you sobbed, shoving your eyes into his thigh and letting out a sob. "I try so hard with him and it's never enough. I'm never enough!" you cried as he continued to caress you, rubbing your back and staying quiet. "Do you know-" you sat back up with a bolt and stared at him with anger. "- how hard it is to live with him?! How hard it was to go to bed and know that he'll come back home drunk on his arse, attack my mom and maybe me- because he did!" you started to confess, all those build up emotions and secrets that were burdening you through your whole life. You didn't even care that it was James, you just wanted it off your chest already. "To go to sleep with a pit in your stomach- to wake up to a stench of alcohol and ciggarettes. To not be able to eat in the morning because he is snoring on the sofa right next to me. To not be able to be myself in piece. To clean, knowing he will shat the toilet or throw up over the floor. That he will mess up the whole kitchen after he came hungry like a wolf after a night of drinking?! My mum was the first person he called a whore or a slut or a worthless piece of shit. I listened to that every night before I went to sleep. When he was done degrading her, it was my turn. Because I was not working or because I was the one person who ruined his life forever. At least I could have become a physician with a good paycheck. Then he would be happy." you started to laugh hysterically, standing up and turning James your back. "Because art is useless! Reading book is for dumb people appereantly! Because I am not hte housewife to him, that when he comes home after a long day of work and drinking, there is not a five course meal waiting for him like his pathetic mother did to him! God! I had to grow up by the age of 9! And I'm so tired of taking care of him! It's already a struggle to be taking care of myself since mum left and now he's all heartbroken and acts like a goddamn 15 year old, embarrassing me in front of everybody." you breathed out and collapsed back on the sofa, your head in your palms. "I'm just so tired, James. I'm so so so tired."
There was a loud silence between the two of you. He didn't expect all of that to be thrown at him but knowing a bit from his past, he took your hands into his, covered them and gave you his lovely smile. "You can stay here for a while or just for the night. I can bring you a pillow or two and a blanket."
You smiled at his smile.
"You can sleep as much as you want and in the morning I can make us some banging British breakfast my mum always made me after I was sad."
"I have work tomorrow."
"No, you don't." he gave you that infamous mischivious signature look. "I'll take care of that. You say you're tired and I say you rest."
You felt another sob escape your mouth before you pressed your forehead onto your locking hands. "Thank you, James."
"Of course, my Love." he took you into his arms and pulled you into his embrace.
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beautifulterriblequeen · 3 years ago
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B2:S - Chapter 5
Much of this series will be about the differences and additions in the novel version, and how they contribute to my understanding of story canon. But there will be character appreciation, the odd theory and headcanon, and suchlike as well.
Here be lots of Viren deets, Best Boy Soren deets, some writing/continuity stuff, worldbuilding appreciation and half of a theory, Detective Rayla, Moon Temple geeking, Claudium and dark magic, and more!
Spoilers for Book Two: Sky below.
(I know for darn sure that I wrote up a post for chapter 4, but I can't find it anywhere so I guess Tumblr ate it and I'll have to redo it at some point, but today is not that day)
Viren, my evil dude, my bad guy, coming in clutch with the worldbuilding and backstory again! If you want to know decades of information, you gotta talk to Viren. Or read his scenes, at least. Here, he seems to not sleep much when he has a big problem to analyze his way through. Solutions trump pretty much everything else in this guy's life, and he's had a really hard week with a lot of new and complicated problems. Of course he's getting sleep-deprived trying to find his way through them all.
Harrow put so much trust in Viren when he made him High Mage! He just threw himself extra hard at that Lady Justice blindfold, didn't he? Didn't really want to see what Viren was doing in his magic study, so he left Viren to his devices. And Viren has a lot of devices.
Also, this is fascinating: Viren made the secret passage to his "less official study" in Katolis Castle! And he was inspired to do so by the way his own mentor kept the Puzzle House. What else could a Puzzle House be, except a place with secret passages? Yay! secret headcanon that "the Puzzle House" is just "Katolis Castle" from Kid Viren's perspective tho
So either Viren built all of those passageways, or at least the ones to his dungeon. Which means he has to have, or know where to get, a stash of those glowing blue Moonshadow crystals. Hmmm.
I can't wait to learn more about Kpp'Ar and young Viren, btw. From this description of Viren and all his literal secret ways, it feels like another parallel between Viren and Runaan, with the whole "secretive paths, members only, insider knowledge" type stuff. Only the really cool members of this cult club get to know the secrets, and guess what, kid, you're cool now but you can never tell anyone, okay? Our secret.
Yeahhh, that'll never backfire in any way for either of them.
Kpp'Ar calling puzzles and secrets "man-made magic," though. Yes sir, knowledge is indeed power.
This chapter mentions Runaan by name, from Viren's perspective. Generally that would imply that Viren knows his name, even though assassins do not share their names, and Runaan didn't seem to give his to Viren in the first book. However, there was a scene in book one where the last paragraph switched perspective from Viren to Runaan - a technique that's very common in visual media like movies and shows and gives you that "ohoho they left the room and didn't notice this, but you do!" vibe. Using Runaan's name there in book one, where Viren couldn't see it but readers could, helps them keep track of the assassin's story arc while maintaining Viren's racism.
So in book two, in which Runaan has no onscreen scenes (alas), using his name in a scene that calls back to the events in book one helps us remember what happened in that dungeon cell. It would be a bit muddier to recall the specifics if Viren kept thinking about Runaan as "Elf." So I'm cool with the perspective nudge because it serves a narrative purpose: clarity. But I'm also enjoying the angst of considering that, somehow, Viren learned Runaan's name either during or after the coining spell. Mwa ha ha haaa. (Obligatory "Keep my pretty name outta your mouth" goes here)
Okay, back to Viren's scheming! He took the mirror because it was human-sized in a dragon lair. He knew it didn't really fit there, and that made it interesting, so he stole it. But he realized it was really powerful when Runaan wouldn't tell him squat about it - the assassin's instinct to protect Xadian secrets from human hands meant that Viren was holding a very powerful Xadian secret. And that just made him want it all the more. Ah, Runaan, if only your relationship with lying was, like, the exact opposite of what it is. Nyx could've spun Viren a believable tale in 2 minutes flat.
Also of interest: Viren considers his cursed coins to be a final fate. He expects Runaan to remain in his coin forever. With the Chekhov's coins still extant in the storyline, we can assume that they'll come up again eventually, but Viren has no current plans to do anything with his elf money except carry it around.
It's worth noting that Viren admits that he got impatient when he trapped Runaan in the coin. Runaan's first fate in Katolis was supposed to be death at Soren's hands, but Claudia "saved" him from that. His next fate was to become spell components, but Viren's frustration with his stubbornness "saved" him from that fate, too. So now he's in a coin, where no one can chop him up at all. Yay? No, boo!
We get one last line about Runaan before Viren shifts gears: he makes a point of noting for us that Runaan's shackles are still locked shut. However much of Runaan made it into that coin - body, soul, hair care products - he was magicked there, pulled right out of his restraints.
The creepy black liquid that Viren pours right into his eyes is the last of a powerful potion he got from Kpp'Ar, and its recipe is ancient! Humans used it back in the age of Elarion to see through the illusions of the world. And we get a delightfully creepy bit of description about the preparation of this serum, which makes it abundantly clear that it's a Moon magic-based concoction, harvested from eyeless vipers on a moonless night, with the threat of irrevocable madness ("madness" by whose definition, though) if it's done wrong-
Hang on. Hold up. This is a Plato's Cave reference. OH MY GOD.
No no I'm fine, this is brilliant. Sorry, sorry, I couldn't figure why there was so much description for a potion prep that Viren didn't even have to perform himself. But now I get it. I see the light. HA. I should make a separate post for this, it's amazing.
Anyway, for reference, the humans who used this serum were called the Oracles of Ophidia, and Ophidia is a taxonomy group that includes all modern snakes. Can you say "creepy ancient snake rites"? I can! Woo!
Viren activates the serum with a spell, but apparently he's never done it before. He's not sure if it's supposed to be hot and bubbly, and he worries that it's been tainted by moonlight.
Oh, I do hope so.
The magic potion hurts, a lot. Viren will do just about anything, to himself or anyone, to do what he believes is necessary. He just risked madness and blindness to find out what this mirror does! Viren. Can you just. Take a nap or something. Have a Snickers.
This chapter gives us a fun clue that I don't remember from the show: when Viren's vision clears and he can see, his reflection has white pupils and the room reflected in the mirror has inverted colors. You know where else has inverted colors?
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You know who else got white pupils for a hot second?
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Okay, now it makes sense! Viren and Lujanne were both seeing into the realm beyond life and death. Him with his moon magic potion, and her with her moon powers on a full moon night at the Moon Nexus. Which is Very Interesting! Is it a direct hint about Aaravos's location, or just a separate cool detail? Orrr, does it look like a direct hint because Aaravos is actually trapped in the world beyond life and death, but it's actually separate and we'll see something about white pupils again later on?
Viren really does have self-esteem issues, we all picked up on it with his rant at his reflection. He throws a fit when he catches himself wondering if he's actually worthless. In the book version of his tantrum, he shoves the mirror and hurls a candelabra instead of flipping a table. He didn't need to shove the mirror to set the fire, but it's in here. Foreshadowing that perhaps, if push comes to shove, Viren will choose himself over Aaravos? Giving Aaravos time to peek through and see that the coast is clear?
Soren, my boyyyyy. He has a rough night at the Moon Nexus because two sides of him are fighting with each other. He struggles to understand Callum's friendship with Rayla, and he also fantasizes about chopping off Rayla's head. One of these is a pretty ordinary thing to do. The other is Soren's internalization of what he needs to do to gain his father's approval. If he brought his dad a chopped off elf head every week, he'd probably feel a lot more confident because Viren would praise him a lot more.
Okay, okay, omg, is it just me, or does the "Moonshadow Madness" story, as it's told in the book, seem like Soren just doesn't know what a monsterfucker is? He thinks an elf bite puts humans under a spell. But vampires are sexy, and some people want them to do more to them than just bite them. A passionate kiss under the moonlight could look very bitey, especially if one of the participants has horns and you're already culturally trained to hate them. No yeah, I'm already headcanoning an actual human-elf kiss that got misunderstood by an observer long ago.
it's Lujanne isn't it, we all know, because what is a love spell but a sweet soft illusion, I mean how else does she get supplies for her Caldera, I ask you, and also Corvus was totally sent to investigate once and he told Soren at camp what he saw
And then back to magefam angst: Soren pretending that his sister's nose-tapping is stupid, even though he actually thinks it's cool, just because their dad thinks it's stupid. Viren, istg. Let your kids like harmless things. It's so cute that Soren taps his nose back at her, though! Like they have their own sibling code. I hope we get to see the nose tap again, especially now that they've chosen different sides. It could mean so much, that they're not too far apart yet.
Rayla knows what buttery pancakes smell like. I love this. Do Moonshadow elves have butter and pancakes, does Rayla eat a stack of eight giant pancakes in the morning? Orrrr it is just illusion food? I don't care, let Rayla have pancakes! Everyone loves pancakes. Pancakes will save the world. this message brought to you by the fact that I can't eat pancakes rn, send help
I love that Rayla is both sus of the pancakes and hungry, and that combines into a very motivated "I will get to the bottom of this" attitude. She kind of goes into Poirot Mode when she inserts herself into Soren and Ellis's conversation about Ava, explaining about the wolf's illusion leg and segueing into her claim that the pancakes taste sus. Claudia confirms she used dark magic, and Rayla is furious. It's different than the show's version in that it puts Rayla in detective mode, as the only Moonshadow elf in the scene, and boy does she take that role seriously. Also, she doesn't actually swallow the dark magic pancake bite. It ends up on the ground just like Lujanne's grubs from that earlier meal. These poor kids are so nutrient-starved. You guys gotta eat!!
Rayla's determination and prejudices and the fact that she super knows Harrow is dead all dovetail to make her try repeatedly to persuade Callum that Soren and Claudia are Not To Be Trusted. It's nice that the book keeps taking the time to point out that Rayla is Well Intentioned But Flawed, just like Callum and pretty much every other character in the show. No one is Right All The Time, no one Knows More Than Everyone Else.
Callum loving the sound of Claudia's unique voice is so wholesome. When you like someone, it only makes sense that you like all the things about them that they can't change - like the sound of Claudia's voice. Her choices with dark magic, not so much!
Claudia seems to have the same concerns Soren does about Callum's relationship with Rayla, but she comes out and asks him. The inherent possession implied in "your elf" is interesting, though. Elves are not people to Claudia. They're enemies who can be disassembled for the magic inside them. So maybe more like robots than living beings, if she knew what a robot was. Maybe she heard Soren's "Moonshadow Madness" story and realized he totally missed the kissing implications - but she didn't, and now she's genuinely worried that Rayla could kiss Callum under a full moon and enchant him to do her will. Good thing it's only a half moon, then!
Okay, Callum nervously making a puppet hand and then not knowing what to do with his hands and freaking out about itching and moving and pointy elbows is such a ND mood. The sudden stress of knowing that someone else is noticing your existence and maybe you're Not Existing Right, amirite? Ugh, poor Callum.
The Moon Temple! Omg it's so pretty in the description! Made to be beautiful and useful, full of knowledge but also allowing light and life inside (butterflies and vines). Lujanne, when can I move in, please? Also, it's all the more angsty because Lujanne is the only one who gets to see this beautiful place, but it has lots of chairs and shelves and tables, and it was meant to be used by lots of people. :(((
Claudia knows some of the runes on the walls. She isn't in a hurry to copy the rest of them down or anything, either. Her spellwriting is very precise, and she's a skilled mage. Her father would have made sure she was aware of the dangers of drawing sloppy runes, as much as he made her aware of the dangers of doing dark magic wrong. And the whole point of dark magic is that it's easier to learn than primal magic. Claudia supports her dad and their shared knowledge and life path. She's not gonna go nuts over an elf library she can't translate.
Side note: Between Claudia knowing some Moon runes and Viren building a secret passageway and a dungeon and lighting it with the same blue crystals that Lujanne and Ethari use for light--and Claudia exclaiming that she loves ruins--I wonder once more if there are really Moonshadow ruins somewhere in Katolis, which Viren has found and looted. Father-daughter relic hunting trip, maybe while Soren is away at camp? Omgsh that would be so wild!
Callum out here having a Viren moment with his "I feel powerless unless I've got magic that lets me help" vibes. God. I love their complicated mirroring. One of the hard differences between them is that Callum is very sure dark magic is bad because you have to kill stuff and take its power to cast spells, and he doesn't want to be a person who kills and takes like that. The line he walks to be nice to Claudia on their tour of the Cursed Caldera because he likes her, while telling her that he doesn't want to do her magic, like, ever, is so fine that it might as well be a shifting shadow on the ground. It's a very fitting conversation to be having during the half moon, with its tricks and little white lies.
Callum being out of the castle and his comfort zone, having to deal with the fact that the Claudia he loves is not quite the Claudia who's chasing him down across the kingdom, but of the two of them, he's the only one with a problem with this.
They say that if you really want to get to know someone, you should spend time with them outside their comfort zone - in heavy traffic, with a small baby, taking care of a new pet, trying a new skill, following unfamiliar directions, etc. While the castle is familiar territory for them both, Callum's never really found his comfort zone yet, while Claudia is pretty comfortable with her growing skill set. The creepy part starts to kick in when Callum begins to realize that Claudia's comfort zone encompasses a whole bunch of stuff that seems like it should make her uncomfortable... but it doesn't. But that'll be for a future chapter!
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hitozy · 3 years ago
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gentle love ‹ masterlist › twin stars
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𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭
It didn't come as a surprise when days later my parents invited us over for dinner. What was surprising was seeing Jae there, and no one else in the family.
"She's been feeling lonely, yn. You and him are her only friends - she feels left out of the group. Try to understand."
I did understand, I understand better than they think. I could tell by the way she eyes him lustfully when we came in the house, the way her hug lingered longer than his, her coy smile and the drag of her hand travelling sensually down his arm. She wants Iwaizumi back and she couldn't make it any more obvious.
My only consolation is that Iwaizumi looks incredible uncomfortable and keeps on swatting her hand away or giving her a stern look, but she doesn't ease up on her assault. When she leans in close to him, pressing her breasts against his arm, making him blush is when I've had enough.
I feel vile rising up my throat, the food I had just swallowed trying to come back. Excusing myself, I saw a slight worry in Iwaizumi's eyes, he started to get up to accompany me, Jae pulls him back down. "Wait Haji! I need to tell you about this thing that happened at work, you would never believe..." As I moved further away, the sound of her voice blended into silence.
Instead of heading to the restroom in the corridor, I went inside my old room looking for comfort in my memory filled four walls. I sat there in silence looking at the pictures of my childhood and on each of them, there's Iwaizumi without fail. Some have Oikawa here and there, Jae is also in many of them, Maki and Mattsun in between. The only ones that don't have Iwaizumi in there is during those four years he left for Uni and was slightly replaced by Maki and Mattsun that never left me alone. But I found no solace in these once happy memories. The moment I found out about Jae and Iwaizumi, the lies and the betrayal, they had turned bitter.
"Haji haji! Where are you going?" Jae's voice called out from outside my bedroom door, dread creeping up my body at the thought of having to witness another devastating separation. I have half a mind of jumping out of my bedroom window, just to avoid to breaking my heart further.
"I'm looking for yn. She didn't look so good."
Jae huffs annoyed, "It's always yn! 'YN is coming with us' or 'YN was sick, she needed me there' or the best one! 'YN is my friend, I will always be on her side.' When is this false care of yours going to stop? I know I made a mistake on regecting you Haji. I want to take it back, I want us back, don't you?"
My blood ran cold in that moment, her words structing a cord in my heart, revealing insecurities buried deep for years. I had always had a subconscious feeling that Iwaizumi only hung out with me during his teen years out of pity, no matter what he said.
"False care?" He was right outside my bedroom door, I could hear the shuffling of his clothes and the clacking of Jae's high heels stop. "Did you just say false care?"
"Is that all you picked up on? Haji, please, I want-"
"Don't you ever say that about me and yn, Jae. You have no right. If there is anyone here that has any 'false care' it would be you."
"Haji-"
"If you actually care about anyone but yourself, then you would stay in your place and stop with all of this. You had your chance, Jae. I gave you so many chances, I begged you the night before the wedding and you said no. There is no going back."
"Why are you so mad? We could just runaway now and forget everything Haji!"
I hear him sigh and I can picture the disappointment on his face, the annoyance, the anger. Its palpable in the air even with the door separating us. "I am mad, Jae, because I've been in love with an asshole for so many years. Because I still love you, an asshole, even though I'm trying really really hard to forget you. Because I-," I can see the way the doorknob jiggles, a tell-tale sign that he rested his hand on it, "I can't believe how little you care about yn. If what you said on the wedding day is true, which I still don't believe; why would you do this to her? She's your cousin, she's been like a sister to you and so many of us for years and you're okay letting her suffer this way?"
"I just- on that day you said you didn't care if she was actually in love with you. Why are you-"
"You and I and every single person in the world that has met my mochi know that she deserves better. So much better, so why in the world would you do this? YN loves you, so much, and you'd just drop her like that Jae? What is wrong with you?"
"Easy. She has you and I want you, that's what's wrong."
Its silent for a moment, I can imagine the incredulous look on Iwaizumi's face at her words. Is he going to jump at her and kiss her? Will he runaway with her and leave me? The mere thought of it tears another piece of my heart and I don't think I could take anymore. I stand up to hide in the bathroom, from anyone that may come in.
But then he speaks.
"Well, Jae, I am hers and you are just going to have to deal with it."
The silence was deafening and the tears I was shedding, the sobs I was holding back only worsened the nausea I already had. Running to my bathroom as fast and as quiet as I could, I barely made it to empty my stomach.
If they spoke more outside, I knew nothing about it. Iwaizumi came in moments later to brush and hold my hair out of my face, rubbing my back. Once I was done and all cleaned up, he pulled me in close and kissed my forehead, "Are you feeling better, mochi?"
I observed his face and whatever emotion he had while speaking to Jae was long gone. His eyes showed worry and tenderness. As I reached out to rub this forehead to stop him from deepening his wrinkles I feel a bit better. If Iwaizumi is here, then it means he's no leaving, not for now and I can live with it. "A bit, but I wanna go home and watch a movie."
He grinned at me, making my heart skip a beat like as if everything that happened a while ago was nonexistent, "Cartoon or 4D?"
"Both?"
"Both it is then, my sweet mochi. Let's go and say our bye's now. Your dad might get the wrong idea and come to shoot my head off."
I snorted, remembering the time when Iwaizumi lost the inter-high and sneaked into my room for comfort, cuddling me in just sweatpants when my dad walked in and had a fit. I repeated the words he had said back then, "Not in my house nor with my daughter, Iwaizumi!"
He chuckled, "Never been more afraid in my life, even though you were there."
"What does that mean?"
He only gave me a secretive smile and bopped my nose. We said our goodbye's to my parents - noting how my mother didn't give us any leftovers, probably afraid to get me sick, even though it was her fault. As we walked out, I also noticed something else missing or more like someone else, "Where's Jae?"
Iwaizumi tensed under my fingers, wrapping his arm tighter around me. What worried me was the sudden tense smile my mother gave me and the slight anger radiating of my father.
"She had to leave, love. An emergency."
I watched them closely and a horrible thought came up in my mind. Did they know about them?
I looked at my mother and I saw guilt in her eyes, "Oh honey, I'm sorry. If I had known how jealous Jae was about you marrying Iwaizumi, I would have never invited her."
... What?
"But I should have seen it coming," Mother continued, "She has always been jealous of you, since you were kids. Always taking your stuff or blaming you for things you never did. I would have expected her to grow up," she huffed annoyed, "but it seems I was hoping to much from her."
She caressed my cheek, "It's a good thing Hajime put her in her place. Such a good husband!"
Oh thank God, they only heard the last part of it.
My father takes my hand in his, it had always been much bigger and covered with callouses from years of hard work. "My darling, if anyone ever tries to hurt you or make you feel less worthy than you are, please know that it is not true," he kissed the back of my hand, like he's always done, "a princess must always be cared and treasured. Always remember it and if not, I will be here to do so."
He cracks a grin at Iwaizumi, "But I guess you won't be coming to me for it, will you? You have Hajime to do it now, and I would believe you prefer it that way."
The sudden blush that appeared on my face made all of them laugh, the tense atmosphere of my question forgotten in the wind.
"I'll make sure to remind her that she is nothing less than a queen, old man."
"I'll hold you accountable then, Hajime."
Later that night, in the comfort of my bed Iwaizumi comes in bearing gifts. Tea for my upset stomach, blankets and a few sandwiches. "You hardly ate anything, so I though this would be better for you."
"But you made like, ten, Hajime."
"... I'm starving, alright?"
My head resting under his chin, his arm draped around my shoulders, my leg thrown over his, covered up in the softest blankets ever, a wedding gift from Oikawa with a letter that I keep in my bedside.
He's a tough cookie, YN. You and I, we both know it but please, don't give up on him. I've only seen him smile so carelessly when your around. He's carefree and senselessly fun when you appear. I only see him be true to himself with you and I'm happy to know he has finally realized it after so many years. Continue to give him only smiles and happiness, little mochi. Love, the best (duh) King Oikawa
We cleaned up once we had enough of the foods and just continued to watch until the end. He started to take his leave to his bedroom when in jerk reaction fashion, I reach out to pull him back.
"Stay."
He looks at me intently, trying to figure out the message behind my words. He gives me a smile as he comes back in and pulls me back onto his chest, "You always hated sleeping alone. You should have told me this was okay for you."
"Too quiet, to big."
"Then... How about we share the bedroom?"
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All you who sleep tonight Far from the ones you love, No hand to left or right And emptiness above –
Know that you aren’t alone The whole world shares your tears, Some for two nights or one, And some for all their years.
All of you who sleep tonight - Vikram Seth
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taglist ! @daphnxy @zukoslosthishonor​ @i-am-a-hoe-for-shinya @mrsdoradominguez-barnes @anejuuuuoy
a/n! i wrote this chapter in less than 10 minutes. then spent three days cleaning it up. i am finally getting my shit together and found a schedule that I can work with for everything I have to do :D
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