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munsonsprincess11111 · 11 months ago

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Panic attacks.

Eddie munson x reader

Summary: Eddie's having a bad day in school. He's doing everything not to have a panic attack. He doesn't even know what's wrong with him. He's sat at lunch leg bouncing. Hands sweaty. He needs help but the man will never admit it.

Eddie's sat at lunch n he's a hot mess. Shaking. Heavy breathing. He feels like the rooms spinning. Like everything ten times louder. Feels like he could throw up. He needs help. He doesn't even know what's wrong. Will he ask for help? Nope.

"Dude are you sure your OK?" Gareth askes concerned.

Eddie just mumbles and keeps his face in his hands.

You come walking over. Smiling ans joyful.

"OH no the devil in disguise." Jeff jokes as you approach the table.

"Hilarious honestly you should ditch hellfire and join the comedy club your that funny." You joke back. You look down at Eddie and your face goes from happy to concerned. "You OK hunny?" You ask noticing his state.

He nods but other then that ignoring your even stood there. Normally Eddie's hands would be all over you by now talking non stop. You know somethings wrong.

"You sure?" You ask raking your fingers through his mess of curls. As your nails make contact with his head he flinches. You pick up Eddie's tun lunch box and hold your other hand out. "Common." You say to Eddie.

He finally looks up at you confused. "Let's go Common." You walk off. Eddie looks at the rest of hellfire and then gets up and walks off with you. Once you exit the cafeteria his head drops to your shoulder as you walk along taking his hand in your free one.

You both say nothing. Just walk down the halls in silence. Enjoying eachothers presence. However Eddie is still on the verge of his break down. "Where did you park?" You ask quietly "normal spot." HE mumbles back. You nod and walk to where Eddie parks.

He unlocks the side door opening it for you then climbing in after him. You pull the sofa in the back and turn it into the bed. You kay down opening your arms for Eddie. Eddie comes over and lays down next to you. Putting his head on your chest arms around your waist and hooking one leg over your legs.

You wrap your arms around him holding him close to you. Eddie closes his eyes and his breathing starts to slow down. His leg still bouncing slightly. But he's finally calming down.

"What's going on hun?" You ask quietly. You sit still holding the boy. He let's out a shakey breath. He hides his face in the crook of your neck finally speaking.

"Everything is becoming stressful again. I wanna skip lessons but I don't wanna fail. I'm not sleeping until late cause I'm uncomfortable in my own skin. And when I wake up I wake up late so I forget my meds which really isn't helping. By the time I remember I'm in first period. I go home take them and bam another night not sleeping. But if I Dont take em all together then I feel worse. I just need a break. And I feel like I've barely seen you and I really just need you and only you right now. The only time I see you out of school is with someone else present where its a group hang out. And I feel really fucking selfish but I just need something."

He broke. His eyes welled with tears. His breathing uneven. And a shaking mess. You run your hand comfortingly through his hair.

"Babe. You should've told me. We can hang out anytime just us you say the word I'm all yours OK? Don't feel selfish for needing something. How about I come stay at the trailer tonight? We van watch some movies and start fixing your sleep schedule for starters. I'll stroke your head until your asleep. N ill make sure we wake up on time and you take your meds." You whisper stroking his back.

He let's out a relaxed breath. "I don't deserve you. Your fucking perfect thank you love you so much. N yeh I sleep way better when your at mine no Idea why guess its just comfort." HE removes his head from your neck looming at you

"I love you to n ill always be here for you. I'll stay tonight so u get up for school n ill stay the weekend even Sunday night? That OK?" You ask. Eddie nods putting his head on your chest. 10 minutes later you both walk back into school hand in hand. You take Eddie to class and he promises to meet you at your class after school and you part ways.

-next morning-

6:53am. The clock read when Eddie woke up. He looked at laying on your side. Arm still drapped over Eddie. He squeezes you tighter kissing your head. "Babe, gotta wake up sleepy." HE says laying sweet kisses on your face.

You stir awake amiling at Eddie. He kisses your lips and you scrunch your face. You knew full when you had morning breath but Eddie didn't care. "Howd you sleep?" You ask running your hand up his side.

"SO fucking good. Best night sleep in about a month I won't even lie to you." HE says kissing your neck.

"You fell asleep so early 9 o'clock u went." You smiled at Eddie.

"Mmm was the head and back scratches." HE lays next to you hugging you.

You smile at him happy you could help him. Laying your head on his chest. You stayed in that position for another 5 minutes before getting up and dressed for school.

Your making toast for you and Eddie as he walks out slipping his top on giving you a brief glimpse of his happy trail which your eyes went to immediately.

"After school." HE winks kissing you.

"Meds hot shot." You says as the toast pops and you butter it. He opens the cabinet getting out his anxiety and adhd meds popping one of each in his hands.

"DO I need the adhd one I'm so fun without it." Eddie askes smirking popping both pills in his mouth drinking some milk from the cartoon.

"Mmm your fun on it to even better actually." You say passing him his toast.

"Mmm ok" he eats his toast and then you both brush your teeth. He stands behind you keeping one hand on your waist as you brush your teeth. And then off to school and you arrive with 10 minutes to spare.

You both approach the hellfire members and they look shocked to see Eddie. "Morning ladies." Eddie greets himself to the boys. Lighting a cigarette in the process pulling you close to his side inhaling and exhaling the smoke. "Cold isn't it."

"Dude your early to school jeez." Gareth says hugging his girlfriend trying to keep warm.

Eddie looks at you and smiles. "Thanks to y/n made me sleep n get up never knew actually needed to do that." HE said finishing his smoke tossing it on the ground.

Everyone parts ways ad the bell goes but you and Eddie. He walks you to the you both had kissing you. "Do we have to go in." HE smiles into your lips.

"Yep common." You kiss him one more time. "I love you."

"I love you too." ONE last kiss and a sutle ass swat and Eddie and you walk into class and arrives on time to the teachers and everyone else's response.

Yeah his anxiety gets the best of him sometimes. But he knows he will be OK as long as he's got you.

You and Eddie sit in the back wanting to be out rhe way. And Gareth walks in sitting in the middle row. "OH my god he came in on time shock to everyone thought the freak couldn't tell the time the amount of school he's missed." Jason comments seeing Eddie his friends laughing. Eddie gets a devilish grin on face.

"OH my god Jason carver came in 30 seconds thought he'd be able to count the amount of school he's attending or can't you cause your heads to full of me. If that's the case I'm honoured Jason but I have a girlfriend maybe one of your boy toys there will get u there in 23 seconds." Eddie smirks putting his arm around your shoulder. You can't help the smirk that creeps on your face.

Jason looks stunned at Eddie that he actually just said that infront of the class. Gareth still staring at the front then chimes in for Jason.

"He's backkkkkkkkkkkk."

#eddie m #eddie munson thoughts #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x yn #eddie smut #eddie x reader #eddie x you #rockstar eddie munson #eddie my beloved #eddie stranger things

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welikeimagines-andfandoms · 1 year ago

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Kinktober day 3- Hate Sex: Loki

Summary: You and Loki hate each other. Can you fuck it out?

Word count: 2,346 words

It had been about 6 months since Loki had come to live in the avengers compound, and about 2 years since you were rescued from hydra and began living with them. In that time you’d both made amends and became close with the team, but not with each other. In fact the opposite was true, you couldn’t stand one another.

This feud had started off innocently enough, with you just not liking his arrogance and him liking to stir up the young midguardian woman but it’s grown worse since then. Neither of you can stand to be in the same room for too long and Nat had even made Steve change the training schedule so you 2 wouldn’t have to be around each other. Once you were even in the elevator with each other for just a bit too long and almost blew it up.

Everyone on the team had tried many times to get you both to at least tolerate each other but nothing would work. You both simply could not stand each other.

One night you could just not sleep, tossing and turning for about 2 hours before you decided to get up and do something. Your brain was not tired and your body was not shutting off so you decided to get dressed and head to the compounds gym, maybe a run or a couple punches on the bag would help.

So far it seemed to be doing the trick, but as you manoeuvred around the bag to give it another combo, you spotted him. As soon as your eyes found each other you both seem to roll them in unison.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” You spat at him, taking your earphones out.

“Well it’s a gym, darling, where one may workout, maybe that’s what I’m doing.” He retorts, words laced with sarcasm and venom.

“Fuck you, Loki! And don’t call me darling.” You roll your eyes again as you turn to face away from him and return to the bag.

Before you could make another hit however you feel a hand on your waist and see another resting on the bag. Turning around you find, Loki towering over you.

“Why don’t you like when I call you ‘Darling’, darling?” He asks you teasingly with a smirk on his face.

“Because!” You accentuate as you shove him away.

“It’s you saying it.” You reply back with just as much, if not more attitude.

“Well I suppose if it was another one of the team saying it you’d be fine? Someone you actually consider worthy of such attention.” He bites back at you.

“Yeh someone worthy, someone like Thor. He’s the worthy one, not you.” You spit back at him, knowing that would hurt him.

A snarl made its way to his face and you knew you’d won as you turned around and began to put your earphones back in, but were too late before he started up again.

“Well maybe I should save my compliments and pet names for someone who’s actually attractive. Perhaps Natasha or Wanda would be appropriate.” He bites back with just as much venom, knowing that was also a low blow.

That hurt, but you kept your head up high as you turned back to him with a smirk.

“Funny you think they’d actually want you. You’re nothing, Loki. You’re second rate and you know it, the only reason you’re even here is because we like Thor. He’s the only reason you’re not locked away,” anger now evident in Lokis face and trembling fists as you continued your assault “he’s the reason you’re not dead. Your brother, Thor, the worthy one the one who’s actu-.” Your torment filled rants was cut short as Loki smash his mouth into yours, pushing you all the way back until your back collided with the wall.

At first you wanted to push him off but in your own twisted way you saw this as a challenge. Grabbing onto his gym shirt you deepen the kiss, now opening your mouth as your tongues fight for dominance.

“You are a rude, disgusting woman!” He says now grabbing your hair and pulling it back as his body pushes against yours, using his godly strength to keep you caged in.

“Maybe you need someone to teach you some manners, or maybe you just need someone to fuck some into you. Maybe that’s why you’re such a bitch, because no one wants to fuck you.” He growled, his face now getting closer to you.

“What you think you’re the one to do it? You think if you fuck me maybe I’ll be nice to you? Maybe I’ll be compliant? That I’ll see you as a mighty god?” You ask him tauntingly with a rage filled smirk on your face.

Flipping you around before you have a second to fight back he pushes your face into the wall, his hand pulling on your hair roughly and a tight grip squeezing into your hip. Pushing his strong body against your back and ass you can now feel his very hard cock pushing into your lower back, feeling every inch of him. Without meaning to you let out a small moan and leant into his grip, your body betraying you.

“Oh haha, who’s not worthy now, little girl?” He whispers hotly into your ear, taunting you once again.

“Fuck you.” You yell back as best you can with your face being forced onto the wall.

“I will if you like. Is that what you’d like?” He asked, his hand now reaching around to grab your covered pussy, feeling just how wet you are even with your workout pants and panties on.

“Mmmhhmm it feels like that’s exactly what you want.” He moans in your ear, playing with you through your clothes and slowly but strongly humping against your back.

You both stayed quiet for a moment, the only sounds echoing through the gym were both of you quietly moaning and grunting.

Loki truly did have skilled fingers because only moments later of just playing with you over your clothes you could feel your body tingling and you knew you were close.

“Oh you dirty slut. You’re about to cum aren’t you? Do you want to cum?” He asks you tauntingly.

“Yes! Please I want to cum!” You begged, all rage now being flooded by pleasure and a need for release.

“Beg. Beg me and I’ll let you cum. Beg me to fuck you, to turn you into a good girl.” He growled in your ear, his thrusts on your behind becoming faster as did his strokes on your clit. You didn’t want to give in, you wanted to fight him and win but god damn it you couldn’t deny how hot he was and how good he was making you feeling.

“Oh fuck! Please, Loki! Please fuck me! I need you, make me a good girl. Please fuck me hard! Please! I need your cock.” You sobbed out, desperate to get some release.

“Good girl.” Was all he whispered before he took his hands away and took a step back.

Being denied your pleasure made the rage in you flood back with a great vengeance.

“What the fuck, Loki!” You shouted at him as you made your way towards him. Before you could even take a step forward though he was back on you, pushing you against the wall, hand on your throat and harsh kisses shoving your head back.

“You really think the first time I would make you cum would be over your clothes like pubescent boy? Darling I intend to give you an orgasm only a God can give you. So you be a good girl and lay on your back on the floor for me. I’ll show you why they say a have a silver tongue.” He whispered against your lips as you looked into his eyes with need and submission.

“Okay, Loki.” You said quietly, earning you a playful slap on the ass as you made your way to the ground.

Loki was quick to jump on top of you. Making quick work to use him godly strength, tearing the clothes from your trembling body, leaving you completely naked on the cold gym floor.

“Couldn’t you just have magiced them away.” You ask rudely, seeing your nice new gym outfit ripped to shreds beside you.

“Yes of course,” he says pushing a hand around your neck, pushing you further down “but then you wouldn’t be able to see my godly strength, little one.” He whispers hotly into your ear teasing you.

Before you can respond he removes his hand from your throat and drags a moan out of you as he bites down onto your neck. This bites followed by sweet kisses down your neck, to your throat and landing on your first breast. He takes your nipple in his mouth, sucking and nipping on it as your hands tangle in his hair as your eyes roll and your head falls back.

Once he’s satisfied with the treatment your first breast received he moves on to the next, giving it a similar treatment. Once he’s happy with the attention he’s given your breasts, his kisses continue down your stomach and all the way to your pussy.

He just stares at your pussy for a while taking you all in as he licks his lips and spreads your legs apart, big slender but strong hands squeezing your thighs. Suddenly he licks up your pussy and tauntingly sucks on your clit for other half a second.

“Oh, darling, if I knew you tasted his heavenly I would have shut you up ages ago.” He smirks at you cheekily as begins to lick and suck at you again.

Loki truly did have a talented tongue because less than a minute later you felt yourself about to cum again. Not wanting a repeat of last time you began to beg.

“Please, loki, please I’m about to cum. You can fuck me as hard as you like, I’ll be a good girl for you just please let me cum. Oh please let me cum, baby, I’ll be such a good girl.” You begin to babble as you can’t wait for a response any longer and you cum before you can even stop yourself. A wave of pleasure like you’ve never felt before rushes over you as you grab onto Lokis hair and scream out a moan, head falling back and eyes rolling.

Once Lokis face comes back up you begin to worry, trying to babble out an apology, still in a state of great euphoria.

“Loki I’m sorry, I couldn’t control it, I needed to cum, I’m sorry.” You begged him, worried you’d done something bad.

“Shh shh, don’t worry, darling, you did wonderful.” He told you as he stroked your face.

His sweet and calm demeanour didn’t last long however as he grabs you by your throat once again and flips you over. Pushing your head down into the ground and shoving your ass up in the air. You moan as you feel his hard cock against your ass, this clothes now removed by his magic.

“Didn’t think I’d forget to fuck you did I? You naughty little girl. I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’ll never want to be mean to me again. Make you into such a good girl.” He growls in your ear as you try to rub yourself against him.

Before you can begin begging however, he’s shoved him cock all the way inside you, forcing your body forward.

“Fuck, you’re already my good little girl, your pussy was so wet I could just slam right into you.” He taunts as he begins to fuck you at a godly pace and power.

His hands dig into your hips so hard it hurt, no doubt leaving bruises and pain you’ll feel tomorrow. He truly was a god, the roughness of his thrusts not calming down, not even once. He fucks you full speed and force for what feels like a splendid eternity.

Your head begins to go dizzy as you can feel your orgasm approaching, sensing this Loki reaches around to lightly touch your clit, his speed and power not letting up once though.

“You’re close are you, my good girl? You gonna cum for me? You want to cum for your king? Be such a good girl for me?” He asks you sweetly.

Loki had been hitting all your right spots and fucking you so hard that all you could manage was a weak nod of your head, as another moan left your body with Loki pushing down harder on your clit.

“Oh is my good girl too cock drunk to answer? To full of pleasure? Don’t worry, my darling, I’ll let you cum. Come on, little girl, cum for me.” He says only now panting as he gets closer to finishing himself.

Mere moments after his words of encouragement you scream out a moan of absolute delight and pleasure as your eyes roll back. You feel a burst of wetness between your legs as Loki holds onto your hips and fucks you even faster, now cumming himself.

He roars out a moan as he finishes inside you, both of your cum mixing together.

Before you can fall to the floor Loki quickly pulls out of you and scoops you up into his arms. As you feel the warmth of his chest and his racing heart beat you realise he’s transported you under the covers in his nice warm bed.

He’s cleaned you up nicely and holds you lovingly against his chest as he kisses your forehead and strokes your arm.

“Are you going to keep fighting me now?” He asks playfully.

“Well if being mean gets me fucked like that then I might have to.” You joke back.

“Hmmm,” he sighs “how about being nice and seeing what I give you then, sweet girl.” He whispers to you seductively as he squeezes your ass before you both drift softly off to sleep.

#loki #loki x reader #loki imagine #marvel #marvel imagine

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darushi-chan · 2 years ago

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MORE HOTD REPTILES AU 🤗 EDIT: After I took a nap I checked the post on my phone and the quality of the image looked like crap, dont know if it is my damn phone or what, but just to make sure I divided the strip in parts, now it looks fine in my phone, I like looking at Vhagar the komodo dragon in good definition ok xD? Also Arrax with his cute little crown. Im in pain, I commited myself and finished this in almost 3 days, never again lol. Headcanons time: -If you follow my other posts you know Aemond and Luceyrs are roommates, Aemond lied and said Vhagar “was friendly” so Luke will stay with them, he had been very careful and nothing happenned for like 3 weeks, but the one time he went jogging and didn’t make sure Vhagar’s enclosure was properly closed something happened. -His “Lucerys it’s in danger” sense tingled and he came back in time to prevent disaster, but Luke saw Vhagar in his room. -Lucerys knows Vhagar its not “friendly”, but he also wanted the roommates situation to work, so he feigned ignorance and trusted Aemond, after all Vhagar did listen to him, most of the time. -Vhagar did want to have snack time so bad 😞, but she also loves her almond, so no eathing the tiny dragon, Arrax its “her friend” now, and shes also a new member of Luke’s youtube videos! Plenty of new subscribers thanks to that 😂. -Yes, their silly costumes are a little bit of an hommage to their HOTD real characters, after all we do love to make Luke and Aemond queen and king (Or kings) in a lot of fics 😋. -Also also, yes Luke its wearing crocs with cute charms on them, I also love jogging pants, very comfortable 😌. -Vhagar its inded as tall as Luke when she stands, she’s a full grown Komodo, my doberman its as tall as me when he stands, so I think that makes it possible, I’m like 1.60 m, 5.25 feet, so yeh. -After this Vhagar and Arrax become really good friends indeed, they take walks together with Luke and Aemond, they sunbathe, Luke makes videos with both of them from time to time, they also play catch and chase together, this scares Luke a little, but Vhagar will not hurt Arrax, they are important to her know, Aemond likes them, so does she. -The costumes and videos are a little bit tedious, but Luke makes sure to never do something she hates, and Aemond always gives her special treats and cuddles after them, she also gets a fanbase that sends her gifts! Luke says she’s a star now 😘. -MOre lore that keeps me awake at night: Targ special pet companions Need to be a reptile or amphibian+ blood magic with a Targ blood family member sample, usually blood+ some other secret enchantments. Usually, the parent will bring their baby or child and be shown a wide variety of options, specifically eggs, and if there’s a connection with one or more, they are taken and can go through a series of trials and blood magic rituals, and the one that hatches at the end it’s the one that goes with the client. This process can take some time and specially lots of money from the client. Also, it can only work with people from Valyria, the only ones that can really afford this type of thing are the Targs and their blood family members. They may or may not also have a very restrictive contract with the dragon keepers for this kind of service too, hehe. Driftmark incident and bonding with Vhagar!: Alicent lets Viserys have his way with Aegon and Helaena, they got their pet companions since very young, she agreed since both were also relatively safe options, but then he started to get sick and wasn’t as able as before. She never liked this tradition the Targs had, just looking at Rhaenyra’s Syrax, or even worse, Laena’s Vhagar, the seven forbid one of her kids bonds with a monster like that, so with Aemond she gets more control of what her son get access to bond with, small geckos, frogs, turtles…safe and/or small companions, but none of those take, time passes and then Aemond decides he wants to have a big crocodile like his father, Alicent hates the idea, she wasn’t a Targaryen, so she really didn’t believe it was safe. But no matter what other small safe reptiles Aemond was shown none of them reacted. Aemond knew why, he didn’t want any of those “safe” companions, Aegon and Jace won’t stop bullying him with one of those, he needed something that commanded respect, not something “small and safe”. More time pases and Aemond still doesn’t have a pet companion, Alicent stops trying, and he gives up a little. The day of the funeral the kids dare Aemond to go into Vhagar’s enclosure. He accepts and goes into Vhagar’s room at Daemon and Laena’s house, there he finds this really big lizard he has never seen before. The dragon keepers haven’t shown him anything like it, and even if it’s not a croc, he knows this would definitely do, his excitement goes away when he kind of feels the creature’s sadness. He starts to sing her a Valyrian lullaby (The one Daemon sings to Vermithor), and this catches Vhagar’s attention, she goes out from her enclosure and Aemond touches her snout (Like in how to train your dragon, hehe) while he says Lykiri and Dohaeras (Like in the show!). Vhagar can sort of feel the connection, but we still need the blood for it to be completed. Cue the other children. Aegon and Jace can be a little bit mean and feel kind of “attacked” (Inferiority complex it’s that you?), that Aemond it’s getting a good reaction from Vhagar, they weren’t expecting that after all, and because children can be little shits they enter the room and try to make fun of Aemond for singing Vhagar a lullaby, Vhagar has never seen this other children before and doesn’t like all the noise so she goes back to her enclosure. Rhaena and Baela are not vibing that much with the bullying, neither does Luke, but then Aemond gets mad and lashes at everyone, telling them they have lame companions, how they wish they could have something as cool as Vhagar, especially the idiot Strong bastards. Luke and the girls are sad and crying and answering their own mean things to Aemond and then everyone its fighting. Aegon knows their parents are gonna kill him if something happens, so he runs away in search of the adults. There is some stuff used to feed Vhagar in the room (Gloves, scissors, thongs and stuff like that) and in the struggle those things end up in the floor with Aemond and Jace, Aemond grabs the scissors and slashes them around in desperation and ends up cutting Jace a little. Its then that Luke, that was comforting Laena and Baela after they got punched in the squabble, sees this and gets scared, and ends up pushing Aemond, he trips around the mess and pierces his eye with the scissors, by then the adults arrive and all hell breaks loose. While everyone screams, Vhagar gets close to Aemond and licks some of his blood from the floor, Laena its dead, and she likes this feisty hatchling, so the bonding gets completed. Still, the adults are fighthing, but the kids get to say the truth about the taunting and the mean words and Alicent, Rhaenyra and Viserys see the damage that has been done through the adults mean remarks and hatred. So yes, they are all very mad, and are not in the very best terms then, but they all decide to start going to family therapy, so not everything goes to shit in a couple of years, this way Lucemond and Jacegon can still be a little bit toxic, but nobody needs to die, ok? Also Alicent freaks out and almost passes out when she sees the monstruosity sitting at her son’s side, that makes everyone go back to their rooms, lol.

#lucemond #simple comic that almost makes me lose a hand #lol #Im going away on a trip this friday #so i really wanted to finish this before wednesday #its wednesday and 3 am now #but i finished before #so its fineeeeee #i have a lot more of ideas i want to draw!#but that will have to wait till next week when i come back #vhagar the komodo dragon #arrax the bearded dragon #hotd reptile AU #a little bit of #jacegon #i need sleep #but it wont come #halp

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the0ther-side0f-dawn · 1 day ago

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long personal post about how actually things have gotten better

warning: mention of heavy topics

so im deciding to start re-embracing the joy and sincerity and vulnerability i had at 15. Tumblr was literally my diary.

however the suicidal ideation of being 15? no. tho we still have bouts of hopelessness, but its different now. however i do rlt struggle to refer to that time as being suicidal, but im not sure there is a better word. like i did not want to live, but i did not want to die - because all of my thoughts and logic had me convinced that yeh, it could (and likely would) be worse ... moving on...

i also used to actually reblog stuff. not just scroll and like. and ive been reblogging more lately.

why wasnt i reblogging or posting?

at some point i became very repressed. i shut down self expression and started just internalising all of my lows and lots of other thoughts. i had some bad friendships and experiences and shitty home life where i adapted by just burying everything. not just the bad stuff. i was terrified of judgement and having the things i enjoyed and cared about and liked, be torn to shreds. i was also very scared to say the wrong thing (thanks Tumblr Moral Perfectionism and Purity Culture). but whilst im still not comfortable sharing my passions and emotions IRL... thats just common sense. its mostly family and experience has taught me that they will insult me. i am a lot less afraid of cringe. and im a lot more confident in my own thoughts and opinions. we could also talk about how fandom died for me in 2016 and iykyk. like i lost hope and didn't see the point trying to care again if loss was inevitable. its one of those grand philosophical questions and my answer was that it was better to have no joy or love than it was to risk having something and suffering the pain of losing it... but that is an anxiety mindset. you cannot be happy living out of caution. the greatest joy comes not without risk.

anyways, for a few years now, ive really been on the up. i got some diagnoses which meant I could finally start to understand myself and what was going on and why, and I could learn to manage it. And im not just talking mental/neurodivergence. i was also really physically sick for a long time and im still dealing with the trauma of that because noone fucking believed me (ps. if anyone knew me during that time and you did believe me. thanks. but also despite my memory being shit, ive got to say noone rly knew me during that time. i was very shutdown and had very limited interaction with anyone.) and all i just kept hearing about during that time was how lazy I was and how i must have a really low pain tolerance but ANYWAY. point is, im doing better.

still not living in a perfect situation, and im still not well (i never will be, such is the nature of "chronic" ) but im not living in a state of fear and dread every single day. im in a much better place.

am i exhausted constantly bc i now have a fulltime job and it is unnecessarily stressful and also physically demanding and also i have very little energy to begin with? yeh. but also do i love my job? also yes.

do i have very real concerns that im going to burn out and/or my condition will worsen and i will be unable to work and support myself and i wont have a safety net? also yeh. thats that bouts of hopelessness i mentioned earlier.

but mostly, im doing okay.

i dont have as many friendships as i used to, or any especially close friends but, the people i do have in my life are good people. i dont feel constantly scared that i will say the wrong thing - something embarrassing or awkward or questionable - and that they will abandon me. there is a sense of security.

i dont rly have anyone that I feel completely comfortable and relaxed around but im getting there. Like very almost there, for the first time in my entire life. i can see the possibility of being accepted and at ease. and it is really only me holding myself back. (one day i will figure out how to relax).

i constantly joke about having cured my anxiety but honestly? i kind of did. the thought patterns are still there but I'm so much better equipped to recognise and manage those thoughts. my every action is no longer dictated by my anxiety. most of the time I'm barely aware of what im doing. which thats its own issue... But im no longer in a perpetual state of hypervigilance and that is good. im not even on antidepressants anymore. I've got the anxiety under control, not the other way around.

if 15 year old me met me now- she would be slightly disappointed that i didnt have my own place - but otherwise she would be so shocked at how well i function and how confident i am and how happy i am, and shocked that i now actually want to live a life.

im also, as i said, making an effort to actually give a fuck again. im gonna start caring about things and im not gonna shut up about it.

im going to be more open and honest. and im going to learn how to be me.

being vulnerable is the absolute most terrifying thing but thats my goal. thats the necessary risk. it won't come easily or naturally or right away, but i will get there.

things are looking up.

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thesovereignsring-if · 1 year ago

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You're welcome to play however you like.

Yeh? You can play evil MC but the ending won't be really satisfying: "Bah, you were killed. The end! " Play good MC and maybe you will be rewarded.

A subtle manipulation authors sometimes use if they want to steer readers towards a specific route. I've seen this before in some games....

And whos the say I won't do the same for those play moral and good characters? I've said it before, I'll punish you for being too good, I'll punish you for being too bad. I'll even punish you for liking one brother over the other. People have asked what happens to MC that are too naive, merciful or trusting and I say- "well, people(your allies) will probably kill those you spared behind your back." or "They're gonna use you for their own agendas."

This is game, at the end of the day, is a story with a narrative with an ongoing theme. I've talked at length before how I will punish both good acts and bad. I've said countless of times that these characters have their own morals and agenda that go beyond their relationship with the MC.

I'm telling you right now, that if your MC is too corrupt to the point that it makes makes your rivals look like the good guy- it would be a disservice to my own character's backstory and convictions if they allow that to exist. They will not accept it. They've suffered under the status quo for too long to tolerate a leader that is significantly worse. It doesn't matter if you're their best friend, sibling or lover, they will put down the dog if it's too feral. You're one person, but the people being affected are in the thousands.

If you want to play the extreme option, I welcome it, it continues the narrative about leadership and change and sovereignty that I am trying to weave, and I enjoy seeing characters pushed beyond their limits- but you have to understand extreme choices come with extreme consequences. Its not so much about you being killed and that's the end- it's you were so fucking unreasonable and cruel, it made your lover strangle you in your sleep because they couldn't live with the guilt that you slaughtered someone they cared about unjustifiably. It's the people rising up against a tyrant to freedom. It's the ambition of power tainting your MC's body and mind and paying the price. It's more nuanced than you think.

If I didn't want to explore it, I wouldn't have made it an option. It would be easier to write a book. But I instead I do, because I still think there is narrative value in exploring a corrupted narrative in the MC and how the characters in the story will react to it.

This isn't going to be some evil wank fest- nobody is going to glaze you off for being so evil. I'm not interested in entertaining that narrative in my story. It has no place for it. The world as I have crafted it, will not tolerate it.

All interactive fiction is a lie by your standards then. As all choices only exist within the breadth of choice that the Author allows. And we authors are all manipulative as fuck. If we want you to engage in the narrative a certain way, we'll make sure it happens the way we want it to. That's the difference between a shitty sandbox an a story of choice that explores a evolving narrative theme.

As authors, we write stories to make you feel exactly how we want you to feel- unreliable narrators exists for the sole reason to lie to readers and gaslight them into believing that some false is true. Hell, I have character lie to your face because I want you to believe in something that might not actually be true, cause the real truth will hurt much more later in the story. I have a fucking fake love interest hiding in the crowd right now as we speak.

If you want to play the villain, you get the villain ending. Sorry anon.

#answered asks #tsr #At this rate i'm going to commit to Kingslayer Finny #not a power fantasy boo hoo #do you slap and not expect to get slapped back?

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god-crazy · 2 years ago

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I am craving for some angst so

After some time when daemon becomes the father of one of Aemond's children, how is the relationship between everyone involved?

Like does Aemond's relationship with Daemon change at all? Does it get better? Does it get worse?

How do children react to their mother's situation? Do they like their father? Does their father like them? And Aemond, tries to protect them because a child is the daughter of a hostage who lost the war and they were generated as a form of retribution,may suffer at the hands of the court?Or does he neglet them?Is he even allowed to get contact with them?

First of all, thank you for asking that! I'm so glad that there're someone who's taken an interest to my Omega Aemond AU🥹💞 (i'm not sure if you're the same person asking the last post? but thanks anyway!) Tbh I haven’t think about any of that at all lol. I was just out there daydreaming Aemond got gangbanged noncon looking super pretty... But since you mentioned, ideas just came up one after another(i spent the whole day thinking abt this ngl). And as usual, angst is life! >;) ❤️‍🔥So please, please, kindly bare with me, cuz this is gonna be quite LONG!

After some time when daemon becomes the father of one of Aemond's children, how is the relationship between everyone involved?

So first off, I think when a baby came out exactly Valyrian, nobody dares questioned the legitimacy. But Daemon just knew that that's his babe. In my headcracknon, Daemon is kind of obsessed with Valyrian blood, the pure dragonblood with silver hair and purple eyes at that. So he obviously delighted over the babe. I imagine Aemond gave birth to a girl, and Daemon absolutely fascinated at his daughter. Since he only had sons with Rhaenyra, a daughter is truly a blessing for him. But of course, his affection towards his daughter didn't reached to Aemond. I imagine Daemon just swoop the babe to Rhaenyra then both the queen and he pretended the babe was theirs. Completely cut Aemond out of the child's life right after she's out of the womb... As for Aemond, I think due to his omega instinct, he would have strong maternal instinct as well. each and every babes came out of him, Aemond naturally have some kind of bond to all of his children. So he weeped tremendously, crying for his children when they were taken away. But never crying in front of Daemon, not after their first daughter at least. Which leads to the second question regarding their relationship!

Aemond's relationship with Daemon change at all? Does it get better? Does it get worse?

I think regarding their relationship, Aemond hated Daemon and hated that he couldn’t truly hated Daemon.(its giving 10 things i hate abt u lol) For all those times Daemon could be the sweetest and cruelest, but he’s the only alpha Aemond could truly show his weakest and his darkest side in front of. For they are too similar as though they knew what the other thinks. But after he took away his daughter and other children, Aemond never cried in front of Daemon again. For this, I think Daemon wouldn’t admit he was a bit hurt that Aemond gave him a cold shoulder. He always took Aemond for granted and think Aemond nothing but a feral womb that needs to be tamed. But yeh, he sucks at feelings and he’s grown too used to the passive-aggressive and openly abusive towards the omega to feel ashamed to suddenly act all nice. But I think deep down he wanna say sorry after seeing what taking the babe away can done to Aemond, he kind of grow sympathy for the omega, he’s just an idiot when it comes to this lol.

How do children react to their mother's situation? Do they like their father? Does their father like them? And Aemond, tries to protect them because a child is of a hostage who lost the war and generated as a form of retribution,may suffer at the court?Or does he neglet them?Is he even allowed to get contact with them?

In my headcracknon, Aemond was never recognized as any of the children's mother. I repeated, NON. As of Daemon, I already mentioned at the above paragraphs that he would cut Aemond out of his children's lives. Eventhough Daemon came to regret later but man, that's too late! (I also think he would not let the omega raise his children anyway.) Aemond would be a stranger to them. But I think the Strong boys are a kind and sophisticated gentlemen that they would somehow..change.. certain perspcetive towards their uncle after he gave birth. As of Jace, he was officially bethroted to Baela, an alpha, and she's to be his queen consort in the future. So Aemond is like a spare womb for them. And when a child happened to have similar features with Jake, they were raised to call Baela mother, not Aemond. And Likewise with Luke. Though Jace still granted Aemond to raise his children until they weaned off. But I think he would catches some feelings for Aemond(pity?, ashame? or a more complicated feeling non dare say out loud? no one knows!;)), since his uncle looks madly attractive as a mother. But Jace won't admit that of course. He even let Aemond and a babe spend times outside of his chambers, Jace sometimes join his company, said that it's for the babe. Of course, these never happened before the omega gave them a child. While Luke, I think he'd often argued with Jace over the children since they have similar features and have no actual prove if they're his or Jace's. So he would use the chance to involved Aemond to the children's life.(and Jace secretly thankful for that) He couldn't openly stated Aemond as his children's mother, but he often acted as though. And he's the Queen's favorite son, even if Rhaenyra or the courts disapprove of his behavior towards Aemond, she couldn't truly punish him for such small matter. I think Aemond is quite grateful for Luke regarding this, for allowing him to at least spend some times with his chilldren, legitimized or not. Luke would not really like the way they taught the children to recognize Aemond as their bearer, not mother, but he couldn't disobey the queen either. Truth be told, but I didn't really think about the court's effects lol. But it's good that you pointed out! Cuz eventually there'll be some arguments over the children that were born from the enemy. So i kind of think that Rhaenyra would clearly declare what is the fate of Aemond Targaryen, which emphasized he a royal womb, nothing more nothing less. So he was forbade to involved in the children's life at all. But I think Aemond, though reluctant, would rather prefer the children legitimized as someone else's sires than his. They would be in safer if they were not legalized as his anyways. So regarding the courts, I think this would at least appease their irritations, since the other party is still of Targaryen blood after all. Regarding the children, I think when they were too young to digest politics, they definitely have bonds with Aemond and would reluctant to leave him. But they only ever spend times with Aemond before they knew how to read. That's the longest the queen allowed. All of them grew up with their father and legalized mother. But some children who've grown enough would came to know that their bearer is the one in danger who suffer at the hand of the court. Since Rhaenyra forbid any children to meet Aemond without chaperones(which are heavily instructed not to lead them to Aemond)or until they've come of ages. I guess Daemon's children might come to hate him IF they've grown to know the truth and be sympathetic and kindhearted enough to take pity for what their father did to their bearer. But alas, they're Targaryens, we could only hold our breath for how the coins will land. And I think Jace (or) Luke's children would be the ones to protect their bearer. I even guessed Luke's child would be the one declared Aemond their mother! since Luke's the one who tries every chances he's given to involved Aemond to his children's life. (By now you would've known who's my fav son-in-law lol😆)

Yep! that's all I could think of, for now! Always open up for new ideas or suggestions<3 I'm truly glad that you interest in my Omega Aemond AU! 😭✨💞Literally thrilled! if you have any other ideas to share please don't be shy! babygirl must be ✨legalized, ✨legitimized, and✨fetishized❤️‍🔥!

#daemond #daemon x aemond #lucemond #jacemond #omega aemond #bottom aemond #aemond one eye targaryen #lucerys x aemond #jacaerys x aemond

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typingatlightspeed · 2 years ago

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Ohh could you write some speedingbullet whump and/or hurt/comfort pretty please? alternatively some dom/service sub body worship dynamics between demo and sniper however which way you like it

TF2 Fanfic - Textures

Scout catches the flu and a sinus infection robs him of his senses of smell and taste, leaving him miserable and having trouble willing himself to eat. Sniper helps figure out a workaround to get him eating, at least.

Sappy Hope you enjoy, anon! I couldn't come up withy any good whump so I went hurt/comfort, drawing from some of my own experiences with illnesses over the years (and particularly my bout with COVID last year).

---------

"You've gotta eat somethin'," Sniper urged, setting a bowl of soup down on the night stand. "If you don't eat you're not gonna have the strength to recover.

"I'm not hungry," Scout mumbled though a stuffy nose, his eyes slowly rolling open, squinting in the low light that filtered through the blinds of his quarters. "Can't taste it anyway with this sinus infection."

"I know, Jer, but—"

"I can't get it down!" Tears pricked at Scout's eyes, and he rolled onto his side to face away from Sniper, shifting on the bed with what little energy he had. "If I can't taste it I can't get myself to swallow it. It's just nothin', no sensation. Everythin's just all snot."

Sniper sighed, sitting on the bed in the space Scout left, utterly frustrated. The younger man had been sick for a week and a half with what Medic was sure was the flu, and once the coughing had given way to a sinus infection, Scout had completely lost the ability to smell or taste anything. He'd claimed it had just tasted like rotten mucus, and he had stopped eating.

It had been a sad thing at first, seeing the usually spry and energetic athlete rendered inert and writhing with muscle aches and fever, coughing up his damned lungs. Ever the dutiful boyfriend, Sniper had done his best to tend to him while minimizing contact, not too keen on getting sick himself. But now that Scout wasn't eating, he cared less about his own safety and more about his boyfriend's.

"If I get you some interestin' textures do you think you'd be able to choke somethin' down? You've got to eat, Jer."

Scout mumbled quietly, his voice more a whimper than actual speech.

"Can't understand you." Sniper tried not to let himself get frustrated. Scout would always get so quiet and pathetic when he felt like shit.

"I can try," Scout repeated, unsure and exhausted. He'd half said it just to get Sniper to stop lecturing him, wishing he'd just let him sleep.

"Alright, that's all I ask is that you try. I'll figure somethin' out and be back. If you can, try to get some of that soup down too. At least drink some broth, yeh?"

"Okay," Scout mumbled, drawing the blanket up around himself. "Thanks, babe."

"You don't gotta thank me; just get better," Sniper sighed, petting Scout's hair fondly before standing. "Love you."

"Love you too."

Closing the door behind him, Sniper sighed and pulled off his hat, running a hand through his hair. Scout was an absolute mess, and he had no idea if he was getting better or not at this point. Medic had told him that progress was not expressly linear, especially with a flu as bad as Scout's, but it still didn't make him worry any less as he progressed from symptom to symptom rather than simply shedding them on his way to convalescence.

The fact that the poor guy just had to suffer through it as the virus ran its course just made it worse. Sniper hated seeing Scout have to go through this, and worse was that the only thing he could do was try to make sure he ate, showered, and made it to the bathroom if he was too weak to get there on his own. Thankfully, that last contingency had only come to pass twice over the past week.

With a shake of his head to rouse himself from his thoughts, Sniper donned his hat again and set off down the hall for the mess to try and scrounge up something with an interesting mouthfeel. Hopefully the novelty of sensation would be enough to get Scout past the inability to taste anything but his own infection.

It was hot. On a good day, the New Mexico badlands were blistering to the native New Englander, but here, curled up in bed with a fever rolling in and out like the tide, the heat came in unbearable waves. The slightest draft, the barest caress of a breeze made him feel like he was freezing and brought on fresh cramps and joint pain. So instead he would sweat, bundled tightly in his blankets on his stiff, unyielding RED-issue bed. Even so he shivered, too cold, too hot simultaneously, and he craved more blankets as though wrapping himself in a cocoon of warmth would somehow solve anything. Maybe he just craved the pressure that it would provide, some comforting weight to envelop him and make him feel safe.

He wished Sniper would come back, curl up with him, wrap his arms around him and tell him he was going to be okay. He craved the familiar embrace of his lover, gangly limbs holding him close, lips pressing kisses onto the crown of his head. He wished dearly for Sniper to envelop him in himself, to make him feel like everything was going to be okay, like he wasn't dying.

Scout didn't think he was dying. He'd died enough times to know how that felt. But here, now, shivering and sweating under his scratchy covers, Scout felt like death regardless.

He'd lost track of time, no idea how much or little had passed, when he heard a soft clack at his door, a single-knuckle knock of courtesy before it was opened and Sniper slipped inside, closing it quietly behind him. The bushman wore a smile writ with trepidation, and held a paper bag in his hand.

"'ope I didn't wake you, love," he soothed, his voice as soft as he could manage in spite of its rough, gravelly tones. Scout didn't mind. He loved the sound of Sniper's voice when it was quiet; he found it almost unbearably sexy. It was really too bad he felt too much like shit to properly appreciate it.

Scout mumbled muzzily, words not quite congealing out of the jumble of syllables he'd wheezed out. He tried again, his eyes cracking open to look up at the gentle, worried face of his lover, "It's okay, I been sleepin' so much."

"That's a good thing," Sniper replied, steadying himself with one hand on the bed as he settled onto the floor next to it, crossing his legs and setting the bag down. "Rest's important for you."

Inching to the edge of the bed, Scout flopped an arm over to pet at Sniper's cheek, his fingers clumsily tracing the line of his jaw fondly. He wanted to give him a hug, a proper squeeze, but could barely keep his arm up enough to do this. "'m so tired 'a sleepin'."

"I know, but you need it."

"I'm lonely," Scout murmured, curling his legs up a little tighter against himself. "But if you sleep with me you're gonna get sick."

Sniper sighed. He hadn't slept in the same bed as Scout in over a week, and he wasn't ashamed to admit he was lonely too. They'd gotten so used to the comfort and safety of sleeping in one another's arms, of just being around one another so constantly, that this time apart—marked by Sniper only visiting for brief periods and trying not to make too much contact—practically felt like one of them was in prison. At this point he'd almost wished he hadn't made the effort not to get sick, so they could at least have been miserable together through most of it.

"I'm sorry," Sniper replied, unsure what else to say. He opened the bag in front of him, withdrawing a few folded Chinese food containers and a styrofoam bowl with a lid. "We gotta get you better sooner then."

"Whassat?"

"Couldn't find anythin' on base to cook that would be good enough. 'Least, nothin' I know 'ow to cook," Sniper chuckled. "So me and Pyro went on a run to town for some Chinese. Pyro says 'e used to get sinus infections all the time when 'e was a teenager. Real sickly kid. Lost 'is sense of taste all the time. 'e said somethin' crunchy-fried'll 'elp with the whole texture-for-flavour substitution thing, and that we 'ad the right idea."

Scout blinked and slowly pulled himself up onto his elbow, realizing for the first time that it was nearly night. Grey light filtered through the blinds, the golden rays of sunset long past, but the blue shadows of night yet to fully overtake the desert. He'd been out for a while. "You went all the way to town for me?"

Sniper smiled. "'course. You gotta eat," he said with a shrug of one shoulder. "If this is what can get you to eat, then it's well worth it, I'd say."

"Mick..." A wobbly smile crawled across Scout's lips, and he felt like the slightest thing would set him off crying. Sniper was so sweet, so kind, so doting, and he could never really figure out how to handle it. Scout had spent his entire life as an afterthought, the last one to get anything, even respect. And here, this man almost twice his age treated him like he was his world. Scout still couldn't really wrap his head around it, and it made his chest flutter. A soft laugh escaped him, and he shook his head to keep his eyes dry. Then he stilled, the shake leaving him dizzy, all of the mucus in his head sloshing and shifting in horrible ways. When he could bring himself to open his eyes again, he looked into Sniper's, and lost himself there for a long moment. "I love you," he fairly whimpered, reaching to pet at his face again.

Sniper caught Scout's hand and brought it to his lips, kissing each fingertip before pressing a final smooch to his palm. "Come on, you sappy wreck," he teased. "Let's get you fed, yeh?" Scout stared a long moment, expectant, until Sniper rejoined, "I love you too, Jer."

That satisfied him, and Scout finally brought himself up to a seated position, folding his legs under himself and tucking his blankets as flat as he could. "So what'd you get me, anyway?"

"Fried pork and cabbage potstickers with ginger sauce, and some fried wontons. Got some sweet and sour sauce to dip those into."

"So it's just all crunchy," Scout mused. He inhaled, hoping against hope that the aroma of hot pork, ginger, fry oil, anything really, would break through the stench of rot and mucus that filled his senses. He suppressed a soft sob at his failure to smell any of it, and tempered his expectations accordingly. Eating without taste was like fucking without pleasure, leaving him wholly unsatisfied and desperate for any of the sensory input he craved. But as he took hold of a wonton and bit into it, he took solace in the crunch and crispiness, textures giving him something to cling to as he dutifully performed the joyless task of eating something to fuel his recovery.

"How is it?" Sniper asked.

Scout sighed through his nose, "I can't taste anything. Still. But at least it feels different."

"That's something then. All I ask is you get something down, so we can get you healthy again."

"I just wanna feel better so you can hold me again. I miss you."

Sniper frowned and stood, walking around to the other side of the bed. He kicked off his boots and set his hat and sunglasses on the footlocker at the end of the bed, and sat behind Scout. He lay down, rolling to face his lover's back, and wrapped an arm around his waist as he ate. He placed a kiss on Scout's side, ignoring the chilly sweat that had collected on him.

"You're gonna get sick," Scout mumbled around a potsticker, ginger sauce running down his chin.

"I'll be fine. And you're not gonna get any better layin' 'ere depressed and lonely on top of not eatin'. If I gotta curl up with you to get your spirits up, so be it."

Scout smiled at that, his free hand coming down to pet through Sniper's hair. "Thanks, Mick."

"'s nothin," Sniper mumbled in reply, snuggling in against his lover. "Can I get one of those potstickers, though?"

#TF2 Fanfic #Team Fortress 2 #TF2 Speeding Bullet #TF2 Sniper #TF2 Scout #Lightspeed Requests

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gayspock · 6 months ago

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yeh last one

my honest truth is i have never gone back on a thought ive had during whatever the fuck you want to call my little Moments as it were. like ive never had a screaming, crying, throw-up fit about how much i really need to hurt myself and looked back on it and thought i dont any more or regretted feeling like that. idk. embarrassment over the fact i might , when lucid enough to do so, end up going on a little whinge on here (ironically as iam now). cuz god shut up. but i dont rlly take any of that shit back ever. like i can carry that certtainty fucking with me that nothing ive ever been upset over has been something ivve come to think otherwiseon. and idk idk i say this bc idk. something something. i think abt how so often its like yeppp its a mental breakdown, but fucking is it. like is it actually. is it ever. am i irrational. i feel like the only ways in which its truly irrational isthinking it mattered enough to get that worked up in the first place like its ever going to mean something or going to be different . io genuinely wonder how many hours ive spent of my life just spiralling how its never meant anything how it keeps just getting worse how its never going to matter how much it hurts to anyone at all but me, really, how amny times have i been to the brink or tried really hard or done any number of fucking things and its never made a single difference not even slightyl for so so long. and the only thing there is between that and this is jsut pushing it forward to tomorrow and it sitll doesnt help im still not like a fucking person or whatever . i ts just been non fucking stop it never fucking stops no matter what i do or try or how long i do something or try something and people wont even believe it . youre not doing it enough youre not trying enough and you keep on doing it you keep on but more and more doors shut inyourface and you still can neverjust find anything . anything at all. not a single fucking thing even for once and youre not astrong fucking person or whatever i dont fucking know you just want to curl up and die like why do i keep doing this what difference is it ever going to make where am i going im going nowhere and who for who fucking for for ME i dont tink ive ever been worth it to anyone and certainly not to myself and even if it was i cant get anywhere and i dont think i mean anything and i dont know i keep thinking would it happen if like even/ for second to have something thats worth it for a second like o if i wasnt entirely alone if it was real if something jst. it doesnt even have to be a passion ro an interest just something that isnt fucking nothing butif you had that you wouldnt be here in the first place . thats the conceit of it. im not fucking depressed im not fucking clinically unwell im jsut a fucking useless piece of shit and no i cannot fucking cope with that its fucking horrible theres nothing and i cant manage it i cant manage being alone every wakinghour of my life i cant imagine feeling so isolated and alienated and doing things on my own i cant manage the constant fucking failures and inadequacy i cant

and i think . respectfully its fucking reasonable to want to killmyself because why why why the fuck would i want to be alive thats not a fucking chemical imbalance wat is the fucking point and theres nothing you can fucking Say to unfuck that thats the natural fucking rejection that respectfully everyone else can also fcking understand because god knows i dont know i dont know whats wrong with me or why i just cant do enough to do anything i dont fucking know i dont know why im never enough for anythingand . and what ma i trying oto prove and i dont know why it matters i dont know why i keep caring as if it fucking matters, man, thats the embarrassing thig that really is it i feel so fucking ashamed of myself because i feel liek im still setting ym expectations so so fucking hgih for myself getting upset in the fucking first place lik e come on dude its long long long past the point why come on just shut up and you know like god what are you doing iits so fucking desperate and pathetic to keep fucking going and i wish i never existed or whatever i wish or whatever ugh or whatever who saidthat oh was it me i dont fucking know i hat ebeing alone thats what i hate the most i hate how its just alwayslike this i hate being near people sometimes i hate fucking talking to people because it justfeels like everything i cant fucking manage all of the time i keep getting so so fucking upset over dumb fucking shit getting so fucking sad and jealous and miserable and its not fucking fair i jsut i dont know why eveyrone else has had something or someone even jsut once i feel like im just floating through everyone and even thats such a fucking stretch i just . i cant do it any more i feel so ugly adnd unwanted and i feel like i cant do anything to ever help it i feel like i jsutcant blamepeople i can tblame anything but myself for existing and ijust feel like the only way to fix it is out and WHATEVER

#egg.txt

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ase-trollplays · 9 months ago

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When We Were Kids (Part Two)

There, d'y'all feel better now that yer big strong moirail's gotcha in her arms-- Er, arm. Fuckin' hell, this is gon' take forever ta get used ta.

...yeah... i feel a little better... ...what about you though?... ...i know it hurt to adjust yourself...

Yeh, but it ain't nothin' I couldn't handle. Y'all just heard what I been through, an' that was when I was a wriggler. I'm built warship tough.

...hehehe... s-sure you are...

Are y'all laughin' at yer moirail? Ya don't believe I'm tough as they come?

...its a little hard to believe when a few pokes can take you out...

Yeh, well I ain't gon' be this sore ferever. Matter a fact, I think I'm already on the mend.

...s-so you can s-suplex dantli through the floor when he gets back?...

Gimme another night'r two an' I'll be judo flippin' him out a window. I'll do it with one arm.

...just clean up the glass afterwards... ...i dont want mom or any of us getting cut on it...

Yeh, yeh, I know. ... So, since we're sharin' wrigglerhood stories, I'd love ta hear what yer growin' sweeps were like.

...compared to what you told me... my childhood was completely wonderful... ...i cant complain about anything...

This ain't a game a trauma poker where we gotta one-up who grew up worse. No one with a perfect childhood grows up ta be a depressed adult who hates everythin' about herself. Y'ain't gotta tell me shit if ya don't wanna. I know yer not the kinda person who likes talkin' about herself.

...no... no... its fine... ...you told me everything about yourself... s-so its only fair i tell you what growing up was like for me too...

...i was always s-small and not very s-strong... ...im pretty s-sure i was a runt when i was a grub... and i wasnt much better after i pupated... ...i dont remember the trials... but what i do remember is being completely terrified... ...i probably just barely made it out...

...i was s-so s-scared of other people... ...it didnt even matter what caste... ...lower castes could kill me with their psionics... and higher castes are just plain s-stronger than me... and s-some like purples and cobalts have psychic powers... ...on top of that... if one of them killed me it would be justified because im lower on the s-spectrum than them...

...mom went with me everywhere when i left my hive... ...s-she was s-scared for my s-safety because i would be s-so easy to kill... ...s-she always told me to run if i got into trouble because im too weak to put up a fight... ...in hindsight... s-she s-shouldnt have been s-so coddling... ...it only hurt me in the end... but its not her fault... ...s-she was s-scared just like i was... and s-she wanted me to be s-safe more than anything... ...s-she just did what s-she thought was best...

Sounds like ya coulda used a lusus like my pa. He's a hardass who don't coddle'r or baby anyone. My first fights growin' up were with him cuz he didn't want me ta grow up weak an' defenseless. Bein' the lowest a the low castes, I couldn't afford not ta be if I wanted ta survive.

Ah fuck, sorry, I didn't mean ta interrupt.

...your fine... dont worry...

...anyways... when i was three s-sweeps old... i met s-sonja... ...he tried to... ...he tried to kill himself jumping off the cliff my hive's built into... but it wasnt high enough for the impact to kill him... ...he got injured very badly... and he managed to find the hatch leading into the maze and climbed in...

...i dont know how long he was there before i found him that night... but when i s-saw him... i was pale at first s-sight... ...at least... i thought i was... ...looking back on it... it was just s-strong platonic pity...

...he was a mess... hes only a s-sweep older than me... but he was s-suffering s-so much... ...his personality was s-splitting... and it ruined the few friendships he had... ...he was having trouble coping with basically becoming two different people... and having to go through it all alone... s-so he tried to end it... ...when he s-saw me... he demanded i finish the job and kill him... ...he s-said i had to do it because hes a highblood... s-so i have to do whatever he s-says...

...obviously i refused... but i s-stayed with him and talked to him until he calmed down... ...after that... i s-started taking care of him... ...it felt like my responsibility s-since he didnt have anyone else other than his lusus... and im s-supposed to always help highbloods because im just a midblood...

...once he was healed... he insisted that we were meant to be together... and it was no accident that we found each other... ...our meeting was pure fate... just like moirails are meant to be 'fated allies'... ...i admitted that i wanted to keep him company and keep helping him s-since he was all alone... and i was afraid that he would try to kill himself again if i left... ...s-so we agreed to be moirails...

...he was incredibly doting and s-sweet... ...both halves of him were... ...he went out of his way to s-spoil me and protect me... and i was s-someone he could confide in and trust and rely on for s-support... ...honestly... if i didn't have his protection growing up... i dont think i would have s-survived to adulthood... ...at his insistence... i never went anywhere without him just in case things went wrong... and he s-saved me a lot...

...we were happy... but we were terrible for each other in reality... ...just like my lusus... he reinforced that im helpless and weak and fragile... s-so i didnt learn how to defend myself much and become more independent... ...at the s-same time... i was too coddling of him and never reinforced boundaries... s-so he got used to always being my priority and having all of my attention at a moment's notice... ...we were only four and three s-sweeps and too immature to be in a relationship... but we didnt know that at the time... and we both ended up worse for it...

...i internalized that i cant do anything on my own... and i felt even worse about being s-such a 'bad' troll and the complete opposite of how were taught to be... ...i felt worthless... but helping s-sonja gave me a purpose and made me feel like i was doing s-something important... ...which turned into the depression i have now... ...im not s-sure he even noticed how i felt...

Prolly cuz he was so damn obsessed with himself and his own feelin's that he wasn't payin' attention ta yers, cuz that's the kinda impression I'm gettin' a this guy.

...yeah... i know that now... but back then i just s-shrugged it off...

...once we were about eight and nine s-sweeps... he s-started depending on me a little bit less... and i was finally able to make my own friends outside of him...

Wait, y'all didn't have no friends that whole time?? Fer five sweeps!? He hogged all a yer attention fer that long!!? An' that didn't set off red flags??

...like i s-said... i didnt know any better... ...i thought that was just part of being s-someones moirail... ...even once i s-started making my own friends... he had to be my priority at all times... and i accepted that because that had been my normal for s-so long... s-so it didnt s-seem problematic...

...it didnt become a problem until i met dantli... and we s-started to become flushed... ...now i had s-someone else that was a priority in my life... and i couldnt always drop everything to run to s-sonja whenever he called anymore... ...i wouldnt s-say he was livid... but he didnt take having to s-share me well at all... ...he would get incredibly jealous... which made him clingier and more demanding... which in turn made dantli upset... and he would get jealous and clingy too...

...i was constantly caught in the middle of them... which only made my anxiety and depression worse... ...it finally came to a head when i was badly injured when i was nine... and they both insisted on taking care of me... ...they were constantly at each others throats and competing with each other over who was the better caretaker... ...eventually enough was enough... and i had to make a choice...

...at this point... id been telling s-sonja for at least half a s-sweep that his overdependence on me was making me uncomfortable... ...after developing healthy friendships with other people and s-seeing how a good relationship is s-supposed to work... i realized what i had with him was deeply unhealthy... ...however... he kept making excuses and trying to justify his behavior... s-sometimes even going s-so far as to s-say his life wouldnt mean anything if i wasnt in it... and that s-scared me... ...but i just couldnt do it anymore... s-so i broke up with him...

Surprised he didn't do somethin' stupid like kidnappin' ya or tryin' ta kill Dan an' gettin' squashed fer his troubles. Seems like the type that ain't gon' take bein' dumped with dignity, 'specially if he was attached ta y'all at the goddamn hip like he was.

...i actually got lucky... ...we had a mutual friend who was vacillating flush and pale for him... ...after i broke up with him... he went straight to her...

Hmph. Sounds like she was plannin' on bein' a li'l hivewrecker. She saw things was goin' sour an' was just bidin' her time 'til y'all broke up so she could swoop in an' take him fer herself.

...i dont think it was like that... but i was just relieved he had s-someone who would be able to keep an eye on him...

An' yet he's still bummin' around ya. Why're ya even givin' him the time a night still after he spent yer whole childhood abusin' ya?

...its complicated... ...and he wasnt abusing me... ...we were just two kids who didnt know what we were doing and ended up hurting each other...

He manipulated ya, kept ya isolated fer sweeps, constantly put ya down an' made ya feel helpless an' worthless, an' then threatened ta off himself if ya didn't stay. He. Abused. You. Y'ain't gotta make excuses fer him. He's an abuser.

...kamava s-said the s-same thing...

Exactly. So why're ya still entertainin' him? 'Specially after he was stalkin' ya last sweep?

...that was the other one... ...the one ive been s-seeing is more mature and rational... and he goes out of his way to never hurt or be a threat to me... ...he always makes s-sure i have complete control and make the final decisions...

Uh huh. An' y'all believe him?

...yes... ...i cant trust the other half of him... and i know he s-still hates me for leaving him... but the good half of him is completely trustworthy and reliable...

I'll believe it when I see it. I'd say I don't trust him far as I can throw him, but seein' as he's a shrimp, I bet I could chuck him pretty dang far. If he starts givin' ya trouble again--

...no... corali... ...youve done enough trying to hurt people on my behalf...

Yeah, but he ain't fleet, so I ain't in any danger. ... He ain't fleet, right?

...no... but that doesnt matter... ...i dont want you... or danny... or anyone else getting involved... ...just trust me...

I do trust y'all. it's him I don't trust. Ya sure ya can handle him if he decides ta fuck around? Y'ain't immune ta mental bullshit like I am. If he decides ta voodoo yer brain, can ya defend yerself?

...

That silence ain't assurin'. I ain't telling ya ta never ever see him again if yer sure about this. Just. If shit goes sideways, let one a us know the second it does.

... ...okay...

Ya promise?

...i promise...

Good. I love ya. <>

...i love you too... <>

#things to read #Thiomi Shiaka #Corali Primer #Roll With The Punches #and since her moiraillegiance with Sonja is talked about at length #Theater Mouse

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the-desert-beast · 10 months ago

Note

Wandering into ur askbox to ask u some random looking questions for Rhosyn🍐 🌶 🍏 >:3

>>>>>:3ccc TYYVM SILV ty bestie

🍐 [PEAR] What is their current social standing? If they could change it, would they, and to what?

rhosie has some pretty good ties to the sunspears and aiding amnoon & refugees much like her brother but without all the blood & bounty hunting (and other illegal activties) on her hands. id say pretty good around elona! I dont know if she would change it much, beyond maybe, more people know of her and her brother's legacy. She loves maelgwyn and wants the best for him after what he suffered through, i think her intent on getting their names out there would be "You deserve to hear of the good youve done for them; same as i do."

🌶️ [HOT PEPPER] Who would your OC declare their sworn enemy if they could meet them?

this is tHE FUNNY ANSWER BUT LIKE FAREN. YEAH. i think faren is her caomh and she wants to hunt him for sPORT IMMEDIATELY. with the culture & experiences of the twilight sylvari and their tree she would also want to pick a fight with logan & jennah. fistfight anise in the back of a denny's parking lot at 3am. but yeh farens vibes i think would be fully rancid to her HFDGIUAHS

🍏 [GREEN APPLE] How do they differ from the norm and how are they punished for it?

rhosyn is so so so happy go lucky giddy loud and she has been told to shut up or be quieter plenty of times, and it DOES hurt but its way worse if youre mean about it. its like one of the only things she wishes she could change about herself cause she tries to be quiet but then she gets happy and excited andgets loud again and yeah.

BABY DONT THOUGH WE LOVE U SCREM UR HEART OUT PLEEEEASS

[ask game link-a-roo]

#silvesi #askgameanswers #oc: rhosyn (they/she)#UWUWuu tyvm for da asks #myocs

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shooter-nobunagun · 1 year ago

Text

Ice Lolly (R18)

Part of the "Divine Intervention" storyline (if anyone remembers that) but technically takes place after the end. (at least, the end I'm planning--if I can ever finish it...I swear)

(I actually have the major arcs all plotted out)

Jack x Nobu. It's hot. And cold treats. Not really spoilers for Divine Intervention nor is it really necessary to read it first. Just know that for this storyline, "Jack" and "Nobunagun" are based off of Sio and Adam's "e-gene holder" personalities, but as separate people.

Hot. That was her first thought even before the sun registered across her eyelids, brows furrowed into a frown that tried to block out the light but to no avail. She groaned, flopped an arm over her eyes, then decided it wasn't enough and slumped over onto her side, burying her face into her boyfriend's back as an alternative instead.

"...Oy, budge up a bit, yeh?" A gruff voice pierced through whatever half-sleep she'd manage to snag, and with a huff Nobunagun pulled herself up and out of sleep entirely.

"Well good morning to you too, wanker," she retorted, now in a rather crabby mood after being woken up. "Can't a girl catch a couple more z's?"

"Not when she's scrunched up against my back, like some sort of heating pack," came the reply, Jack now also fully awake. "You know I don't exactly do the whole 'cuddling' thing. Especially not in this heat."

Ass, she thought. But he was right, they weren't exactly the type of couple to be all mushy and fluffy, to hold hands on a date or give hugs on a regular basis. Even post-coital snuggles and pillow talk were rather scarce, only happening on the occasion where they were feeling particularly vulnerable or emotional—which, as the more 'uninhibited' twins, rarely happened. Things like hugs and kisses, snuggling on the couch under a blanket—those were things her sister Sio did with her boyfriend, Adam—Jack's other half.

"Ugh, how is it so hot today? Didn't it just rain like, yesterday?" London was similar to Japan in some ways—but, as Nobunagun had come to learn, it was usually cooler during the summer months, thanks to its higher latitude. Humidity did come and go, but overall it was still better than the stifling, smothering blanket that she'd endured growing up in Japan.

Today seemed to be an exception, though, and Nobunagun groaned mentally at the thought of having to go through a special kind of torture she thought she'd escaped, after having moved to the U.K. for college. The flat she and Jack were renting wasn't exactly posh, given their budget as students—which meant air conditioning was a luxury that wasn't included. Vaguely she wondered how Sio and Adam were doing, back in Japan. As hot as it was here, there was no doubt it'd be even worse in Tokyo, and she should count her lucky stars at not having to experience this everyday—but Nobunagun wasn't exactly a grateful kind of person, and so her mood turned sour before the day had even really begun.

Next to her, Jack finally got up, shoving the thin blanket off. "Welcome to London, love. You ought to know by now the weather can turn on a dime," he answered sarcastically, before hunting his shirt down from around the room. "Anyway, better keep the curtains closed if we can—less sun to heat the room up."

"Huhnn...bah, I don't feel like getting up."

"Suit yourself, then. I'm going get some nosh, but if you want to lie around in this heat, be my guest."

"Jaaaack—"

Her voice screeched a complaint before the man could exit, and he turned around sullenly, eying her with an annoyed expression.

"...What."

"Be a dear and bring me something too? Please?" She put on her best puppy-dog face, but with her usually-fierce exterior and no-nonsense attitude, it came out more like an awkward grimace instead. Jack resisted the urge to laugh, lest Nobunagun found some way to make him pay for it later.

"...You know, you're damn lucky I promised both your sister and Adam I'd take care of you while you're here."

She smiled sweetly at him. "I know. Now go on—oh, and something cooling would be nice."

A white eyebrow twitched as Jack heaved a long-suffering sigh.

"Cheeky bitch." ----- "Aah, what's taking so long...must be taking his sweet-ass time just to screw with me." Nobunagun rolled around on the sheets, all the blankets having been long shoved off at this point. She was wearing nothing but a thin t-shirt and panties, but even then she could already feel sweat forming on her body. Maybe she should actually get up, and take a cold shower or something...

However, Nobunagun was also rather lazy, and so she remained lying on the bed, lifting her shirt to try and air out her skin. It was just an old t-shirt of Jack's that she 'borrowed' (or 'commandeered' as Jack insisted), but it was large and comfortable, the fabric now soft and worn after being washed so many times. She sighed, grabbed Jack's pillow and buried her face into it, his scent filing her nose as she took a breath. It was musky and a little bit spicy, and filled with the scent of male—Nobunagun gulped as her loins stirred a bit, despite the heat.

"Urg...really body? I'm not exactly in the mood, not with these temperatures." Still, as she mulled over whether or not she wanted a little play time, or if it was even worth it, her hips pushed themselves against the tangled lump of sheets. Nobunagun groaned slightly as tingles started running through her body, but the heat made her too languid to move much faster. "Mmmph...if only it wasn't so hot..."

Just then the door opened as Jack barged back in, and Nobunagun hastily flung herself over. Not that she and Jack hadn't already seen and done just about everything under the sun, but still. She had to have some level of dignity, right?

Something landed on the bed next to her, Nobunagun fumbling around the sheets until she felt something ice-cold. "What th...wait, really?"

Next to the bed, Jack eyed her with a knowing glance and his signature smirk. "You said, 'something cooling', didn't you?"

"Well yeah, but really? An ice lolly?" She rolled her eyes. "You're such an arse."

"And you, love, are incredibly demanding." Nobunagun glared at him as he continued to sip his own iced tea. "Should have been more specific."

Grumbling, she sat up and unwrapped the frozen treat, which was already starting to melt. She took a lick; strawberry lime, not bad. Despite her best efforts, drops of melted juice dripped down her hand and onto the sheets.

"Whoops..."

Jack took a glance over and sighed. "Oh bollocks; we just did laundry last week..."

Nobunagun stuck her tongue out. "Oh yeah? And just who was it that decided to give me this as my breakfast?" She gave him a triumphant smirk, as Jack glowered underneath his bangs.

"Fine fine, I get it. Just hurry up and finish that bloody stick before you make more of a mess." For reasons unknown to her, Jack was something of a neat freak—almost OCD at times. The flat was always spotless and he never left things lying around if he could help it—yet when it came to cooking, the kitchen always looked like a whirlwind swept through it until he cleaned everything up at the end.

As Nobunagun did her best to finish the lolly before it completely melted away, a rather...kinky thought came to her. If a certain part of her was feeling too hot, then maybe she could use ice lolly to help...cool it down.

Her lips split into a rather maniacal grin, that Jack dubbed 'the devil smile'.

Jack was halfway done with his toast before he noticed that particular smile on his girlfriend's face. A shiver of unease dropped down his spine, and suddenly his toast didn't quite have the same taste as it did earlier.

"...Nobu, what are you thinking about now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb, I know that look. Whenever you have that shit-eating grin on your face, you're up to something..."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Even as she said all this, her hand moved lower, until the tip of the ice lolly sat just between her crotch. "Except, well, I am feeling rather hot at the moment..."

Jack knew immediately where this was headed. "Oh for the love of—are you bloody serious?! Nobu!"

"What! It's way too hot today, you're the one who gave me this, and I'm feeling horny, okay?!" Nobunagun shot back.

"But that—you're going to make a mess!" Jack was nearly pulling his hair out at this point.

"Who cares, the sheets already got stained, so what does it matter now? We have to wash them anyway." And with that, Nobunagun shamelessly shed her panties, and brought the icy treat right against her clit. Her whole body shuddered as the ice-cold tip brushed against her heated slit, the difference in temperature shocking—but also arousing. "Gyaah! C-Cold...!"

At this point, Jack could only stare with a mixture of bewilderment, annoyance, and arousal. His plan to mess with Nobunagun's request was backfiring, and now instead of pulling one over her, she was using the ice lolly to brazenly masturbate right in front of him. Thick, gloppy strands of pink juice mixed with her nectar stained the sheets as Nobunagun pumped the lolly in and out, moaning with pleasure.

"Oh...oh yeah, that's much better...fuck, it actually feels pretty good..."

"...You are one shameless, randy little minx." Jack shook his head slowly, one hand cupping his chin. "Oh Nobunagun, whatever am I to do with you."

"Heh...you only have yourself to blame, Jacky-boy—ah!" Her hips jolted as the tip swept over her sensitive clit. Nobunagun paused for a bit to catch her breath, licking the melting lolly and purposely swirling the flavor of strawberry-lime mixed with her own juices around her mouth. "Mmmm...I taste pretty good like this..."

"Is that so..."

She grinned at him. "Yeah...you wanna try?"

For a second Jack's expression was inscrutable, and Nobunagun thought he'd just leave her to her own devices; but then he was on the bed and grabbing her wrist, Nobunagun watching with rapt attention as he took the lolly into his mouth, and—she was sure he was doing it on purpose—licking and sucking it with such fervor it was almost as if he was fellating the treat. She shuddered at the intensity of his actions.

"Hmm...not bad." He opened his eyes at last, those emeralds dark and hazy, and Nobunagun felt her heart skip a beat. "But I think it's better from the source..."

"Huh? What do you—Jack!" She almost dropped the lolly as Jack maneuvered between her legs, and a hot tongue brushed against her now-cold slit. "J, Jack...!" Moaning, Nobunagun did her best to hang onto the stick, but it threatened to drop as her body quivered and jerked, as Jack began to eat her out. "Nngg...! F-Fuck, Jack... if you keep doing this I'm, I'm really gonna drop it...!"

"Then you'd better be careful, yeh?" Another lick, another shudder. "Yeh, you know what, I think this is my new favorite flavor."

Her hips bucked as Jack continued to torture her clit; a few times the ice lolly tipped precariously from her fingers, but Nobunagun always caught it just in time. That did not, however, stop it from continuing to melt; and Nobunagun, too caught up in the pleasure of Jack's tongue, was unable to continue eating it.

"Ah, J-Jack...it's, it's gonna melt soon..." It was almost gone now, and the sheets had various pink stains all over it. She was resigned to just letting it melt away when Jack popped back up, face sticky with the mix of her juices and the lolly. Without a word he snatched the stick, and snapped up the remainder of the treat in two bites before tossing the wooden stick into the rubbish bin.

"There, problem solved."

Nobunagun pouted. "...I wanted some, too."

Jack huffed irritably at her comment. "Well, then you should've said something. Now, do you want to continue or not? Otherwise I'm perfectly fine letting you take care of yourself."

"Wow, someone's narked. But yes, I would...greatly appreciate it, if you could...finish the job."

He gave her one more glance, before resuming his place. Nobunagun gripped the pillow as she felt her climax build, the faint scent from the pillowcase only fueling her pleasure. "D-Damn...I'm gonna, I'm coming...! Jack...!" Her clit had gone from hot to ice cold and now back to the moist heat of his tongue; it was driving her crazy, and with how precise his movements were, Nobunagun knew she wasn't going to last long. Her body was shaking, hips twitching every so often as Jack licked all over her slick pearl, expertly sucking it just as he had the lolly. One hand reached down and grasped his fine silver hair, pushing him harder against her crotch. "Yes, right there—fuck fuck fuck—Jack!!"

He sucked hard and a wail tore from her throat as her orgasm streaked through her body, causing her to shake and gasp for air. Vaguely she heard Jack grunt as her crotch smashed against his face, but she was too caught up in her pleasure to really care. Chest heaving, she sank back onto the dirty sheets, legs all soft like jelly as she tenderly gave her pink clit a few more strokes. "Mmph—so sensitive..."

"...You know, one day I think you're actually going to kill me by accident—or maybe it won't be an accident," Nobunagun opened her eyes to find Jack nursing his nose, which she must've slammed into while she was lost in the throes of ecstasy. "Seriously, this better not turn into a bruise..."

"Just say you got into a row at the local pub." His subsequent glare let her know he did not appreciate that joke, however, and Nobunagun felt just a little bit guilty. "Alright alright, I'm sorry; jeeze, what's with you today? The heat got you all wound up or something?"

Jack grumbled, wiping off the last of the mess from his tender nose. "It's certainly not helping. Especially not with you acting like a spoiled brat; demanding this, wanting that...you think the entire world exists to serve you? Tch; I can see why Sio always calls you 'Nobu-sama'..."

Uh oh, she hurt his feelings. Damn. Usually Nobunagun was pretty good about navigating around 'difficult' people, but she was learning that, when you you truly cared about your other half, things were not as simple as she'd always believed. Even though Jack himself wasn't exactly a paragon of virtues (that was Adam), she'd learned after a while that he had a vulnerable side, too. Just, much like her, he was not the greatest at expressing it. Or even understanding it himself.

"...Hey look, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to...y'know, almost break your nose." Face set in a serious expression, she scooted over and gingerly wiped off the remains of her mess. "On the other hand, if it'll make you feel better, that just means you were that good..."

Jack snorted. "Hnn. I suppose that's good for you, yeh?" He expected some snarky response, but when Jack finally turned around he was greeted with an empty space. "What th...Nobu?"

"Yeah?" His head whipped around only to come face-to-face with another ice lolly, still in its wrapper. "Here, I think someone's grumpy 'cause he didn't get a treat..."

He raised a white eyebrow for a long second, not sure how to feel or what to make of this spitfire whom he called his girlfriend. Now that they were living in London together and attending university, he'd gotten to know her a lot more intimately than when he'd been a transfer student in Japan. And yet no matter how well he thought he knew her at this point, somehow or other, Nobunagun still managed to take him by surprise.

"...Y'know, you really should retract your claws more often, Wildcat. You're much cuter when you do." That got a laugh out of her. It was their little in-joke, as Nobunagun had more than a passing resemblance to a feral feline when they'd first met.

"And I know you're really just a big softy, deep down underneath all that tough-guy crap," Nobunagun retorted, but she gave him a peck on his tender nose. "Now eat this before it melts."

Jack tried to remain stern, but he couldn't help the grin creeping up. "Yeh, yeh..." He opened the wrapper. "Mango, huh? I'll take that."

Before he could take his first lick though, Nobunagun leaned over and chomped off a bite. "Oy! What the hell!"

"Since you ate mine earlier, fair's fair," she retorted, licking her lips. "Besides, it was just the tip."

Jack snorted at her (un)intentional entendre. "Seriously, Nobu..." The rest of the treat was sweet and cooling, Jack slowly savoring the lolly as Nobunagun sprawled over the sheets, seemingly not caring about the stains. At some point though, he noticed the girl was crawling closer to him, until she was right in his lap.

"What, did you want another bite?"

"Maaaybee..." She had that expression again, which meant she was up to something.

"...Why do I get the feeling that's not all?"

Now she was toying with the drawstrings of his waistband. "I mean, if you're feeling extra generous, I'll be sure to take extra good care of you..."

"...Tit-for-tat, huh? Alright..." He flipped the stick down and Nobunagun took another eager bite. "Just make sure you—oy!"

Before Jack could tell her to please finish eating first she was already taking him in her mouth, sweet-sticky juice and all. "NOBU!" The shock of icy-cold against the overall warmth of her mouth was one thing, but Jack was also acutely aware of his dick being coated in half-melted lolly juice. Which, being the clean freak he was, grossed him out just a tad.

"N, Nobu...!" It felt good, he wouldn't deny that; her hot, wet mouth engulfed his length, yet her tongue was still cold. Jack tried not to think too much about the mixing of food and bodily fluids. "Jesus, couldn't you have...finished eating first?"

"Hmmph mmhrrph?" Jack didn't understand a single word, but he could tell from her eye-roll she was probably chastising him for overreacting again. And yeah, maybe food-play was a kink for some people, but not for him. Still, his body certainly seemed to enjoy, regardless of what his brain thought; already he could feel the heat pooling in his groin, Nobunagun's hands teasing his balls and he jerked upward each time she squeezed them just a little bit.

For her part, Nobunagun found the whole pre-cum+mango juice combination coating her tongue to be quite interesting. Kind of sweet, kind of salty; but not necessarily in a bad way? Despite Jack's scolding, she knew he was enjoying it. Short, ragged pants fell from his mouth, and one hand curled behind her head, fingers alternately digging into or stroking her hair. Her tongue swept around underneath the tip, tracing the throbbing vein along the side and she heard him moan, thrusting his hips upward and she smirked. She bobbed her head faster, pursing her lips to create a tighter suction at the same time.

"Nng—fuck, Nobu...!" He forgot entirely about the ice lolly at this point; the only thing that mattered was how good her mouth felt, how slick her tongue was as it slid around all the subtle crevices and flicked the tip every so often. Grunting, Jack resisted the urge to pull and yank her hair—Nobunagun did not appreciate that—so instead he settled for gripping the sheets. The closer he got, the faster his hips moved—especially as her mouth got tighter and he swore she was sucking harder. "I-It's coming—!"

As soon as she felt the first spurts of cum, Nobunagun swallowed eagerly. Not that it was a competition or anything, but she prided herself on being able to swallow fast enough before it overflowed and spilled out her mouth. She grinned slightly as she felt Jack finishing, grunting and thrusting erratically as she slowly eased the last few drops out of him, before gently releasing him.

"Feel better now?"

"Fuck, Nobu..." Jack couldn't finish the sentence, still catching his breath. "That's one way to put it..." He heaved a sigh, before sliding downward onto the bed. "Shit...we're definitely gonna need to do laundry..."

She laughed, poking her boyfriend in the cheek. "Really? That's your first reaction?" He gave her a sideways glare. "Well, if we are, I'd suggest holding off on that a bit."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "And just what do you mean by that?"

Nobunagun licked her lips, those eyes settling into a bit of a scheming glance. "Let's just say I'm not exactly satisfied yet..." Before Jack knew what was happening, her bare bottom was straddling his naked waist. "I know you only need a couple of minutes to recover, so why don't we just get to it?"

"What th—Nobu! Seriously, give a guy more than a few minutes to catch his breath!" Jack protested. "I thought you were too hot to do anything?"

"What can I say, that ice lolly certainly helped. Didn't it help you?" She pulled her sweaty t-shirt off, then helped Jack out of his. "And then we can go do laundry. I'll even help with the ironing."

Jack stared at her for a few more seconds, before a slow grin revealed his rather pointy teeth. "I'm holding you to that, Nobunagun."

She grinned lasciviously. "I always keep my promises, Jack."

#documentation #//kind of a future/spin off from divine intervention?#//had this idea for a while b/c its exactly the kind of kinky thing nobu would do lol #//was wondering if i should wait until the end of DI since it technically takes place after the story #//at least that's how i planned it #//but oh well

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