#“which 'she' is that caption referring to” yes. all of them.

[elliewiltarwyn]

ffxiv polyam week day 5: alternate universe | in another life

Some days, she looks to the heavens and wonders if this is really the life that was meant for her...

[fuctacles]

<<😺😺😺😺

if i didn't respond to your comment it's bc desktop tumblr didn't let me, I still love and appreciate y'all

Maybe tomorrow he'd bring his book here, and keep the cats company while he reads. Would they like it if he read it out loud?

Oh lord, the crazy cat lady energy must be rubbing off on him already.

The cats certainly are. He looks down at his black attire now speckled with cat hair, and sighs. He should have asked Steph where the lint roller was before she left. With great effort, he stands up from the comfy couch, vowing to himself to only do a cursory search with no unnecessary peeking. 

The entrance seems like an obvious start since people like to de-hair themselves before leaving the house. The dresser next to the door is cluttered with typical things - sunglasses, hand lotion, chapstick, some loose change, and jewelry. No roller in sight. So he goes to the kitchen instead, because kitchen is where everything goes. The cats are watching him curiously from their chosen perches around the house.

"Stop it. This is all your fault."

He finally finds what he's looking for on a windowsill next to a dead fly. He starts cleaning his clothes there, next to the fridge, and its colorful display catches his attention. 

There's an Ewok magnet that looks handmade, holding up a birthday card, and a few holiday photos, capturing smiling people in swimming costumes. Some of them look older, like the photo of a kid in a wizard robe, or a pair of bloodied-up teenagers in sailor costumes, which must be a very obscure reference because Eddie hasn't seen it at any costume party before. 

The caption under the photo reads BFF but someone added a circle of smaller F's all around the photo, turning them into a frame. Which, if Eddie's connecting the dots correctly, would imply that it's Robin and Steph. The quality isn't the best, but at first glance, he's assumed it must be a family member, maybe a brother, but he remembers her saying she's an only child. 

He tracks the other photos, but most of them are new, of the Steph he already knows. There might be more around the apartment, though. 

But he's already rolled his shirt and he'll be back tomorrow morning anyway, so he quickly works on his pants' legs, gives the cats a wave, and leaves. 

While walking back, he's apparently so lost in his thoughts, he gets startled by his own uncle.

"The cats still alive?"

"Do you want?! Me?! To die?!" Eddie screeches, eyes wide and a hand on his heart, the other holding him upright against the wall. "Why the fuck are you sitting there in the dark?!"

Wayne looks pointedly at the lamp next to him, then to his nephew. Aside from his reading nook in the corner though, the living room has no other light sources right now, but Eddie just throws his hands in defeat, deciding not to argue. Especially not when his uncle finally folded and was reading Blade Runner. 

"Must have been thinking some guilty thoughts, huh?" 

"Excuse me?" Eddie takes a step back from his course towards the kitchen. His uncle was flipping a page in his book, clearly not reading but not looking up from it either. 

"To get scared like that. Did you do something bad, son?" He finally looks up, and Eddie doesn't like it. He looks exactly like his friends just before teasing him about something. "Saw something you shouldn't have?"

Eddie folds his arms and sticks his nose up, hoping the evening darkness hides his warming cheeks. 

"I don't know what kind of panty raiding you do up there, but I'm not a pervert."

"Panty riding, huh?" Wayne raises his eyebrows in interest. "That what you boys do in college these days?"

"Do you want a sandwich? Some tea maybe?" Eddie has already turned his back to him and is switching the light on in the kitchen. "And the cats are fine, thanks for asking!"

"Yes and yes. Thank you!" 

Eddie prepares them sandwiches and teas and grabs his own book so they can read in silence waiting for the evening news. It's nice to have this, a break from busy and loud college life, just sharing silence and love for books with his uncle. 

That is, of course, until Wayne looks at his watch and puts the book down to exchange it for a remote. Eddie likes to keep his nose in the book until the news become too distracting or he catches something interesting being reported on. His uncle has other plans for him this time. 

"You know it's alright to like her, right?"

Eddie lowers his book, slightly incredulous that Wayne is still talking about it. He looks at him with wide eyes.

"You really want me to fuck your neighbor, huh?"

Finally, his uncle gets a taste of his own medicine, almost choking on the tea that he unfortunately decided to sip on at that moment. Eddie: one, Wayne: zero.

But later, the score evened out again, as all Eddie could think of while trying to sleep were the pictures on the fridge, and plowing his uncle's neighbor into her mattress until she screamed. 

The next morning, with not enough sleep under his belt, Eddie skips two sets at a time, because he totally absolutely royally forgot about the fucking plant. 

He fumbles with the keys, can hear the inquisitive meows on the other side of the door, and once he's in he takes a beeline to the kitchen, ignoring the little creatures following him like they have been starving on the streets and he was a fresh batch of tuna factory waste.

The plant looks normal, the same as it did 24 hours ago, and he waters it as per instructions while trying not to even brush its leaves because he truly believes his touch might kill it. His track record with plants indicates so. Only then does he turn to the meowing bunch at his feet. 

"Hello, little demons. Time to feast."

The cats are fed, their mouths making unpleasant wet noises against the equally wet food, and Eddie has a moment to take a curious walk around the place, in search of more photos.

He finds a wedding photo, with Steph in a pink dress and stunning make up dancing with a man with curly hair. There's one from a barbecue, where Steph is being hugged by a tall man with a mustache. She's wearing jean shorts and a sweater in this one, and somehow, looks a bit off. It looks older than the wedding one. 

But a true treasure chest is the huge frame he finds above a small bookcase.

It's a collage titled 'The fucking journey' that seems to be a collection of Polaroids from a multitude of workplaces, with the same two people present. Year after year, one job after another, until they got where they are today. 

It starts with a 1983 and the sailor costumes he's already seen. They are less bruised and more tired in this one. Knowing where to start, Eddie's eyes track from one photo to another, observing Stephanie's features, her wardrobe, and her hair change until she becomes the woman she is today. 

There was no boy in that photo on the fridge. It's always been her. Growing into herself. 

Is this what his uncle was talking about? Well, not talking, but being annoyingly vague about it, like he wasn't sure what he was talking about himself. 

Fear not, Uncle Wayne. Eddie's going to pick up every pamphlet and every zine he can put his hands on, to educate them both about who their neighbor is, how to navigate the topic and respect her the way she deserves.

[strniohoeee]

matt hard launching his and readers relationship

Mine

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Matt and Y/N decided it was time to tell their fans they were together….after a year of being together and no one suspecting a thing

Warnings⚠️: None, kind of short?? Also based on the video I put at the end 😋

Song for the imagine: All Mine- Brent Faiyaz

Mine

Pronoun

Used to refer to a thing or things belonging to or associated with the speaker

Matt and I had been dating for a year. A full fucking 365 days with this man, and not a single soul knew. It was actually really funny…. We’d always see on TikTok their fans shipping or assuming he was dating all these random girls.

It made us laugh because yes he was in a relationship, but no not with any of these random girls. I was in the influencer world, and I did in fact know them and a lot of their friends. That’s actually how we met through our mutual friends. I was in a few of their videos as they were with me, but not a single person suspected we were a thing.

Personally we preferred it that way because a lot of their fans were a bit harsh with their feelings towards a lot of their female friends.

The hardest thing was to not be seen in public as a couple, so we’d always do group outings and not play the couple role. We wanted to tell our viewers, but on our own timing and when it felt ready.

I think 365 days was more than enough time to know this was a solid relationship, and that we were ready to showcase our relationship.

I’m not even going to lie, we didn't even hint not in the slightest that any of us were in a relationship. I mean no faceless pictures, no subs, no selfies together, not even sitting next to each other. We kept it really low for a long time.

About a few day ago Matt and I had decided we wanted to hard launch our relationship, but we thought a YouTube video was a bit outdated and cringe, so we decided on a TikTok which isn’t better, but still preferred it.

“I’m thinking that NLE song” I said looking at matt

“Which one?” He asked raising his brow at me

“The one where it’s like you can call her phone, but she ain’t gonna answer” I said

“Waittt I like that tell me more” he said scooting closer to me

“Soo basically I can lip sync you can call her phone, but she ain’t gonna answer and then I pan it to you and youll be like you can call her phone, and I’ll probably answer” I said scrolling on TikTok to show him the videos

“I fuck with that idea let’s do it” he said watching the videos with me

“Okay so I’m going to lay down on your lap and then pan the phone up to you” I said

“Sounds easy” he said laughing

Matt took his phone out and opened TikTok to the sound bringing the phone down to me so I can grab it

“Ready?” He asked looking at me

“Yesss” I said getting excited

I brought the phone close to me and began

“You can call her phone, but she ain’t gonna answer” and panned the phone up to Matt

“You can call her phone, and I’ll probably answer” he lip synced

He looked down at me with a smirk and kissed me

I stopped recording and looked at the video, and we thought it was perfect.

“This is coming out of left field your fans are going to be so shocked” I said giggling

“I’m actually really excited for this” he said giggling

We watched the video one more time, and then Matt captioned it “Hard Launch?” And posted it

We started to giggle because we were so excited to tell our supporters we were together, but also because it felt like a huge accomplishment to go a year without anyone finding out.

Immediately his phone was blowing up with notifications. The comments, the likes, Sturniolo fan accounts posting the news. I mean it was huge

“Holy shit” we both said looking at everything

The comments were crazy

“THEM?? SINCE WHEN??😀”

“Holy fuck we’ve been shipping him with other girls and the whole time he was with Y/N”

“We accused him of dating all these other influencers…and we were wrong LMFAOOO😭😭”

“Must be new because how did nobody guess this??”

“They are so cute together holy shit🥹”

“God damn he bagged a bad bitch😩”

I mean the complete love we were getting was astonishing like we never would’ve guessed.

“I say we post on Instagram?” Matt asked looking at me

“YESSSS” I said smiling at him

We decided to do a collab post and do a faceless picture which we found ironic but it was funny to us.

matthew.sturniolo and y/nthedawnnnn

matthew.sturniolo: 365 days with the love of my life….I can't believe it’s been a full year with this amazing woman. She is the best thing to have ever happened to me. To many more years baby I LOVE YOU❤️

Ps check out our TikTok for our hard launch.

y/nthedawnnnn: I fucking love you so much, 365 days of pure happiness 🥹🤭

nicolassturniolo: my fucking queen Y/N…..this was the hardest secret I had to keep btw 😩

christophersturniolo: mom and dad??

christophersturniolo: the amount of clips that had to be edited out of our videos because I spilled the beans….

Larray: Matt got the cuntiest girl out there okay matty poo I see you😉

nathandoe8: so no more bedtime kisses for me??

madisonbeer: I love yall omg 🥰

naileadevora: Literally stole my bestfriend… like Y/N come back home the kids miss you😔💔

Sturnioloteam: OMGGGGG I LOVE YALL

sssturnioloz: shut the fuck up YES OMG

Chrizz_Sturnz: I can smell the edits and I can’t wait😋

The amount of love we were getting from our announcement made us sooo happy. I’m so glad we waited a year! This was the best day of my life!

The End

Idek how tf I was supposed to end it, but I hope you enjoyed it I LOVE YALL🤭🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[dragons-hoard-of-fandoms]

(Murder Drones Episode 8 spoilers!)

Space. The final frontier.

Poor robo-roaches always getting tossed around and killed.

They just left Braiden and Rebecca's corpses there??

Honestly the Teacher is such a mood, I can't believe I never realized it before.

Solvedcalculus reference???

Nori you can't say that this is a Christian Minecraft server.

It's amazing how they're able to make her still convey emotions when she's only got one eye.

YES HE SAVED HER BUT ALSO WOW THAT WAS FAST

Well she did tell you to "Die Mad" about it, so...

Kiss. Kiss! KISS! KISS!! KISS!!! KISS!!!! KISS!!!!!

New cute date idea: Skydiving from space and burning up in the atmosphere together <3

THEY ARE DATING THEY ARE CANONICALLY DATING!!!!!!!!!!

Why no kiss tho :(

Dang it, that was Thad's only good pipe.

V IS ALIVE AND SHE RODE IN ON A SENTINEL I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST JOKING ABOUT THAT

AND IT HAS A LITTLE COWBOY HAT

SHE WAS LIZZY'S SECRET FRIEND AND SHE DID THAT ONE MEME

No!! Bad dingo!!! We do not eat our friends!!!

IT'S DOING THE WALL-E FIRE EXTINGUISHER THING

So did J know the whole time or was she kept in the dark at first and only recently found out? Not entirely clear on that.

You really think it's not gonna dispose of you once all the universe is dead?

V SAID BITE ME

I was fully expecting her to chuck N into the core for a second there. But TBH I don't think continuing to destroy the planet is gonna fix it.

THEY'RE SO CRINGE IN A COOL WAY I LOVE THESE STUPID DORKS

THE CAPTIONS SAY SOLVER CONFIRMED THAT IS NOT CYN

"Okey."

STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP

Y'know J thinks pretty highly of herself for someone who's literally never killed a single person on-screen in the entire time that this show has existed.

Huh, I guess those theories about Uzi not having a core icon were wrong.

You get a panic attack! You get a panic attack! EVERYBODY GETS A PANIC ATTACK!

Wait which part of this is the trap?

FREAKIN EXCUSE YOU DID YOU NOT HEAR WHAT I JUST TOLD NORI THIS IS A CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER THERE WILL BE NO SWEARING

Uzi is not beating the bisexual allegations.

SHE IS CANONICALLY CRINGE AND FREE

Nori I don't think most people call their daughters "babe."

"...'Kay."

Playing Nightcore during a final battle is the most anime thing ever.

And the J abuse continues.

*teleports behind you* Nothin personnel, kid.

Okay bye J, thanks for literally nothing.

SECRET HANDSHAKE N YOU'RE SUCH A DORK

o7

THEY'RE SO STUPID I LOVE THEM

YOU STOPPED TIME???

SHE LITERALLY ATE A BLACK HOLE???

😦

Thad is confirmed the coolest dude on Copper 9.

Sorry y'all, Khori divorce real.

Man Teacher don't wanna deal with none of this, same TBH.

Everybody gangsta til the cowboy robot dinosaurs start driving buses

THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH!!!!!

Nah you're not damaged you're just autistic and edgy.

Polyclue shippers low-key getting fed tho.

HE'S BEING SUPPORTIVE AND TEACHER STILL DON'T WANNA DEAL WITH THIS

HE CALLED HER HIS GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!

My heart goes out to all the Doll fans, y'all got done dirty. 😔

He's learning how to draw anime!!! His art is getting so good!!!

He finally got to play rummy with the WDF!

They're gonna passionately make love on that bed later.

Wow what did Rachel ever do to you. Also who's Rachel.

THE NUZI-VIZZY DOUBLE DATE FEATURING DINGO AS THE FIFTH WHEEL

THAT'S THE REAL CYN YOU CAN'T CONVINCE ME THAT ISN'T THE REAL CYN FINALLY FREE OF THE SOLVER AND LIVING IN UZI'S TAIL UNTIL THEY CAN MAKE A NEW BODY FOR HER

IN YOUR FACE EVERYBODY WHO SAID LIAM DOESN'T LIKE HAPPY ENDINGS!!!!

[imnameimswrld]

╰┈➤ ❝ [𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐎𝐟 𝐌𝐲 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 || 𝗖𝗟𝟭𝟲 ꒱꒱

━━ ❪ . . . charles x guitarist!gf ❫

━━ ❪ . . . description : charles has been liking an anonymous girl's pictures on insta for a while now, but with no face and just guitar pics to go by, fans are more than intrigued to figure out who his mystery guitar girl is ; ❫

━━ ❪ . . . smau ! ❫

━━ ❪ . . . warnings: none ❫

━━ ❪ . . . fc : winter of aespa ❫

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

thatguitargirl

liked by user, charles_leclerc, and 765 others

thatguitargirl big news coming soon...

View all comments

user face reveal 😁 ? no ? a girl can dream...

user how do I explain to people that ur my gf yet I don't know how you look ?

user this is the 67th post charles leclerc has liked... yes, I'm counting.

user ...what if...no...but ?

user I would let go of my parasocial relationship with charles for that duo.

⤿ user TOO REAL OMG.

thatguitargirl added to their story !

[ caption 1: thx to my baby for the bday gift ! a girl can never have too many guitars on her rack ;) ; caption 2: red is best ofc ❤ ]

thatguitargirl added to their story !

[ caption 2: now which one should I bring along ? 🤔 ]

charles_leclerc

liked by thatguitargirl, arthur_leclerc, and 797 224 others

charles_leclerc 🎸😘

View all comments

user now just wait a damn minute... is that who I think it might be ?

user NO FUCKING WAY-

user thatguitargirl ???

user and you all called me crazy – this HAS to be thatguitargirl girl.

user if this is the person that steps out onto stage tomorrow I'm going to throw myself on that stage and snatch her up.

thatguitargirl

liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, and 987 334 others

thatguitargirl what a week !!! thank you sm coachella for having me and making my rockstar dreams come true, but a bigger thank you to all the people that cheered for me – and for all the notes you threw on stage with the most sweetest words written on them 🥺. ofc, thank you to my beautiful charlie for being there for me, every step of the way leading up go this moment ❤ - yn ln xoxo.

View all comments

user YOU. ARE. SO. BEAUTIFUL.

user guitarist and a face card that will never decline ? only w's for this girl.

user the way i entered heaven hearing you live.

charles_leclerc here for you always, mon amour 😘

⤿ thatguitargirl my forever boy 🤞❤

arthur_leclerc dude, that french rock song you did was wild, your french has improved IMMENSELY

⤿ thatguitargirl well, I did have a great teacher 🙃

⤿ arthur_leclerc I know, i know, thank me later with waffles 😊

⤿ charles_leclerc she's not even referring to you, you idiot.

⤿ arthur_leclerc sure she is ! I taught her some french too charles.

⤿ charles_leclerc yeah, all the swear words.

⤿ arthur_leclerc hey, those are VERY important.

⤿ thatguitargirl putain ouais !

[ liked by arthur_leclerc ]

⤿ charles_leclerc Y/N M/N L/N

user from this relationship alone my lifespan has increased by a decade.

charles_leclerc

liked by landonorris, thatguitargirl, and 876 335 others

charles_leclerc so proud of ma fille à la guitare 😍

View all comments

user this couple>>>

user ya'll...now that I think about it, I've seen this girl at races 😭 ! she always sat in the stands tho, with friends, but she ALWAYS wore a ferrari hat (no.16) – she's been under our noses this whole time !!!

⤿ thatguitargirl 😜😜😜

⤿ user cheeky and I love it.

landonorris alright, who wants to be ma fille blah blah whatever he said ? applications are open.

⤿ oscarpiastri brb gonna go learn guitar real quick.

⤿ thatguitargirl don't you have a gf ? 😭

⤿ oscarpiastri shhhhh yn 🤫

user landscar and charyn in one post ? I am being spoiled today.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[ingravinoveritas]

Did you see this picture yet? The first thing I realized was Michael's hand on David's back and their lovely smiles.

Hello! Yes, I did certainly see this group picture that was posted this morning, after every other picture had been posted. This is from Georgia's Insta, so for those who haven't seen the original post, here is a screenshot, along with a close-up of Michael and David, so we can see a little better:

It seems that Georgia's hashtag has been causing some confusion due to her use of an idiomatic expression, so for non-native speakers, the word "tits" has multiple meanings--colloquially, it's another word for breasts, but in British slang, a "tit" also refers to someone who is a fool or an idiot. So Georgia is saying here that she has tits, Anna has tits, and Michael and David are a pair of "tits" (idiots), which gives us the number three.

I did notice and enjoy that there is a "beading" theme to this picture, between David's suit and Anna's dress. I actually very much like her dress and how flattering it is, and it's something I would wear myself, although probably in a different color than white. I also love the way David's jacket sparkles, and there is something about him wearing it while standing next to Michael (who looks one box of bleach away from Aziraphale) that makes it have even more of a "the angel and the Starmaker" vibe to it. Because it's them. You know?

That was a large part of the impression I had of this picture, as it were. Of there being two distinct couples here, but perhaps not the couples you'd assume. It actually reminds me a lot of the picture that the four of them took in Lapland last year, which also looked like two gay couples rather than two straight ones. They all seem to look very comfortable in this arrangement as well, in a way that I felt was somewhat absent from a few of the pictures that were posted yesterday.

To your point, though, I did notice Michael's hand on David, and the warmth that radiated out just from that single touch. His hand is also noticeably low on David's waist, which echoes how we've seen Michael with his arm around David in the past, and is a lovely complement to David's hand being near Michael's neck. Michael's hair is also a bit disheveled compared to the red carpet photos, and I love the idea of it being messed up from a snogging session he and David were having in a coat closet before the girls pulled them out for a pic. Actually possible? Maybe, maybe not. But it's still a delicious thought.

Another thing I noticed is that there is something to the way Michael and David draw the eye in this picture. Georgia and AL are posing/smiling in the same exact way they do in every group picture...although unlike the others, this one wasn't a selfie, and so I wonder if that could be why they seem to be giving off a sense of discomfort to the camera. With Michael and David, the feeling is more one of hesitation. The warmth and crackliness and connection is still there, of course, but it's also almost as if they're holding back, somehow. Which doesn't seem very much like them, at least from what we've all see over the years.

It is a nice picture overall, though, which makes it unfortunate that Georgia's caption sort of takes away from the moment a bit. And given that she's been in the habit of adding these types of cutting comments/tags to a lot of her recent posts, it feels less like "British humor" and more like knowingly taking a dig at Michael and David. She could have just as easily posted the group pic without the hashtag, so at least for me, that's what makes her using it feel so deliberate.

So those are my thoughts on the Oliviers group picture. I am glad that we actually did get one of Michael and David, and to know that they did have the chance to interact at the event. I'd love to hear what other folks think as well, so feel free to add your perspective in the comments. Thanks for writing in! x

[taylorswiftstylequestions]

sarah i am very curious about the WAG terminology conversation if you would like to share!!

Ooo yes happy to! So in a recent caption I wrote I referred to Taylor and the other SOs of players by the catchall term of "WAG" and some commenters on IG took offence to it. In the spirit of critically kind conversation I wanted to open up the floor to chat more about the word and why it elicited that reaction from some people.

My POV is that I not only see it as a(n accurate) lingo term in the world of sports to refer to all of the SOs of players in a friendly clique-y way. But also because WAG, to me, has ties to creating its own fashion genre. For me, it calls back to the originators of the term - Victoria Beckham and Cheryl Cole - whose pitchside fashion was readily documented and became a 'thing' in the early aughts. So much so that the essence of a "WAG uniform" is obviously still present to this day and Taylor is clearly participating in a version of it with the SOs of other players what with their matchy matchy outfits. Furthermore, Taylor is obviously present at these games - by her own admission - because she's proud of Travis and by extension proud to be his "G" of WAG.

Conversely, some TSSers found the term diminishing and reductive to women and that it's a label that reduces them to "just" being the spouse of a player. And also that there isn't really a popularly accepted term for the "HABs" of female athletes (to which I say: why not? let's make it a thing! KILLAHAB @ ERAS TOUR!)

So to that my additional rebuttal opinion is that you can be a X *and* Y *and* Z and that labels like this aren't mutually exclusive.

[[[ And frankly there are way more diminishing and reductive conversations that happen all the time as it relates to Taylor and Travis but I don't think we're ready to call those out. :) ]]]

[askzloyxp]

Would you maybe be able to bring other editors on board? Perhaps teach Lyarrah how you do your jazz so she can take over for a couple weeks. Unless I'm mistaken in assuming that her job is just copy pasting the script into the YouTube captions feature. I don't really know how captioning works

Okay, this is actually quite fun to talk about because YES! Youtube's caption system does have a feature where you can get auto-captions made if you just feed it the transcript of the video! HOWEVER, Lyarrah's job on the Recap is not to just do that.

First and foremost, Ly actually handles all of the metadata of the vids except thumbnails. Tags, description and even the titles are all things she has to fill in after I upload, because by that time I have absolutely 0 energy to do that. She also is the one moderating the comments. Even if I'm often the one to reply, she does a lot to filter out the bad stuff and add spam-filters.

Then she has to make the actual captions. Even with the script available, this is actually still a serious undertaking. Because that feature that you just feed the script and it puts the timings in automatically? It sucks ass. The timings are all over the place, it struggles with even the british accent and it couldn't add who is speaking or sound/tone descrptions even if you put them in. And with Recaps specifically, it couldn't put in the parts where the Hermits themselves are speaking, because THEIR LINES ARE NOT EVEN IN THE SCRIPT! What clips to use and to add to the video is mostly decided in the video-editing phase, long after the script is written. So that stuff needs to be added later. But because it's not in the script, the system gets confused about parts where the words that are not in the script are said, and just puts whatever lines in there. As a result, cleaning up after the algorithm takes longer than to just make whole new subtitles. WHICH IS WHAT LYARRAH ACTUALLY DOES.

More or less every video she makes captions for is re-transcribed by hand with the script only as a reference. This results in much better captions where she can even add her personal touch with the emojis to convey tone and all that!

I know there are automated systems in DaVinci Resolve and Adobe Premiere that could output pretty solid captions with working timings, and she's actually looking into that, and will be trying them out. But even then, it will be her responsibility and her choice to use these tools, because she's our captioning specialist. Whatever research she does will still be a load off my back.

But could she just edit the recaps for me? Funny you say that, because in theory? She probably could. Lyarrah and Pixlriffs are both adept video editors, each with their own youtube channels, and perfectly capable of producing videos no worse than what I make. Pix has already edited a couple recaps in the past, and every time he'd deliver on time and arguably a tighter product than what I make. HOWEVER, the trick here is that to get the HC Recap done every week, week after week, on time and with passable editing, when the source material is a dozen videos at least and the result needs to be well paced, illustrative and well, passable, is a whole other ordeal. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but here you gotta not know how to edit, but know how to edit like a motherfucker.

...that doesn't mean "good" or "fast",... just.. like a motherfucker.

And for one, I wouldn't want to put that much work onto anyone, while for two, I wouldn't trust to put that much work onto anyone. Maybe to a professional editor or like, a TV-editor this isn't much, but I don't think I have the funds to hire one, especially when at the end of the day, to me the whole process has long become routine, entertainment even. I love the edit. Which is also why I struggle with stress and burnout the way I do: it is incomprehensible to me that I can't just sit down and do this like always!

One must imagine Sisyphus happy.

[heyftinally]

Swifties do love setting Taylor up.

Just what I saw on Twitter Yesterday:

1989 is a pop Bible that everybody knows. - Well if it's trash maybe.

Reputation is hip hop ??? - What?

Reputation is goth Rock ?? - Lol

That Reputation is also supposed to be R&nB - like where?? wtf?

And her new album the Treacherous Dead Poets Default is an album with a new sound.

Or this yt lady on tt that was claiming that no other artists has transcended genres as successfully as taylor did. 😭 And she mentions Rock? Girl where? And literally there are tons of artists who did it way better than her.

Or that one video which they have now deleted bc taylor was getting dragged. It was a video of her just walking on stage and singing (not live) and the caption was like: I can't believe she was doing that for the first time. ' - Some small part of me does feel sorry for these delusional fanbase. Cause she has the highest grossing tour right now. Big emphasis on right now cause that record is not forever. Anyways they can not post much about her performance anywhere without people using it to drag her. Cause let's face it. She can't perform. She's not serving. She's giving nothing. Her dancers slay more than she does.

Pffffft Taylor went from pop country to pop and never changed again. Slightly different vibes? Sure. Still pop. She wouldn't know rock if it smacked her in the head.

Missy Elliott is hip hop. Early P!nk (ie Most Girls) is R&B. Sumo Cyco is goth rock (+ others, but still). Taylor Swift wouldn't touch any of those genres with a 10ft pole, and quite frankly she'd suck at them if she tried lol.

She doesn't "transcend genres", and considering she can't even make different versions of pop sound good, I think we know why.

And no, she can't perform. Let me flex my expertise here: I'm a trained dancer. Specifically with 26 years of training in tap, jazz, ballet, theater, and contemporary, with additional training in commercial/street jazz (aka music video and tour choreography) and various other styles in sporadic classes. I've literally been choreographing since I was about seven years old, and have been analyzing commercial choreography since I was 15.

That said,

Her performances are not only weak, but they show me that her tour choreographer either

Doesn't exist and she created all of her own "dancing" herself

Doesn't know how to adapt choreography for someone with virtually no dance technique

Actively has something out for Taylor and is trying to make her look bad

I'm going to reference "Look What You Made Me Do" from the Eras tour, because that's the most recent and clearest to illustrate my point

A video of the performance in question, for reference.

Okay, first off, right off the bat, her hand floating on her hip looks awkward and uncomfortable. It's giving "over-excited 8yo at recital". For someone with as much experience as she has performing, I'd expect her to look more settled in her beginning pose. She looks like she's overthinking, and thus it looks under rehearsed.

Then we have that flexed hand - yes it's a nit pick, but that pose belongs very few places outside of a 6yo's tap dance.

Movibg on, her robotic movements look messy as fuck. Sharp isolations like that are HARD. A lot of dancers with years of training struggle with getting the kind of sharpness you would expect to see from that choreography. And on the scale of a stadium like she's in, everything is amplified. If it's messy, it's going to look five times as messy as it might on a smaller scale, because the further away the audience is, the more detail gets lost. So you're movements need to be SHARP in order to translate to the audience. Add to that that this is clearly filmed professionally/intentionally, and it really just looks unprofessional/poorly planned.

Meanwhile the things like the "don't like you" scolding (besides looking childish) are so small that you wouldn't see them beyond the front row. When you're choreographing even for a normal stage, the #1 rule is make everything BIG and intentional. If you're kicking, you're hitting AT LEAST a 45° angle, and with the force of trying to kick the winning soccer (football) goal. Taylor doesn't do that. Those movements are small, sad, and weak, and it honestly looks lazy. I know a 10yo currently doing a competitive dance solo to this song, and I shit you not that 10yo is 50x more interesting to watch perform than Taylor.

So yeah, her music has been one note since Fearless one note (uninspired pop), and her "stage presence" is about on par with an 8yo who doesn't want to be here.

[coquelicoq]

Jiang Li's family tree and familial terms of address in The Double

I'm making this guide for my own reference because there were several family relationships in The Double that I misinterpreted at first based on how they were translated in the English subs, so I've gone back and compared to the Chinese subs. I'm also hoping it will be helpful to people wanting to write fic in English! What little I know about Chinese terms of address has largely been gleaned from other tumblr users' posts predating this show, and I'll link to my sources.

The only significant potential spoiler is some basic biographical information about Jiang Li’s older sibling, who is not directly mentioned until episode 26 but whose existence can be inferred from the fact that Jiang Li is referred to as Second Lady Jiang.

I am basing all of this solely on the drama, not the novel it was adapted from.

Apologies in advance for any inconsistencies in the pinyin punctuation (hyphen vs. apostrophe vs. space vs. smooshed together); it varies widely across sources and I don't think I have a clear enough understanding of the nuances to be confident I'm being consistent in applying the conventions, but I'm including the hanzi as well as an English translation (if the translation is in quotation marks it’s from the subs, usually Viki but not always). Also apologies if I messed up any of the hanzi. I welcome corrections and insights from those with more knowledge!!

I'm referring to Jiang Li in the present tense here for convenience, but since she's dead for the majority of the show, when I say "Jiang Li calls so-and-so xyz," of course it's almost always actually Xue Fangfei acting as Jiang Li who's doing that.

Each image is of that character's first appearance, when the hanzi for their name is given. The hanzi and any other caption are transcribed in alt text.

Jiang Li

Jiang Li (姜梨), aka Jiang Ruoyu (姜若雨), is the second child and second daughter of Jiang Yuanbai. She’s his only child with his first wife, Ye Zhenzhen.

According to this title card, her given name is Ruoyu and her courtesy name is A'Li (阿梨). This means that in this universe, people are given courtesy names in childhood rather than upon maturity. No one ever calls her or refers to her as Ruoyu that I noticed.

She is 18 or thereabouts (she was sent away from the family 10 years ago at age 8).

She has an older sister, Jiang Yue, a younger sister, Jiang Ruoyao, and a younger brother, Jiang Bingji. More about them below.

Sometimes in the subs she's referred to as the eldest daughter or the firstborn. For instance, when Ji Shuran says in episode 7 梨儿终究是我家嫡女, the Viki subs give "Li'er is the firstborn." Another example is in episode 5; someone in the crowd at Jiang Ruoyao's coming-of-age ceremony refers to Jiang Li as Jiang Yuanbai's 嫡长之女, which Viki translates as "eldest daughter". I think this might be a mistranslation. She's not the eldest daughter, but she is the eldest legitimate daughter (born to a legal wife rather than a concubine). In episode 6, Jiang Li refers to herself as 嫡女, and that time it's translated as "legitimate daughter" (Jiang Ruoyao also refers to herself as the same thing in episode 26, and it's "legitimate daughter" there as well). In episodes 26 and 32, Jiang Li is referred to as 姜家的嫡娘子, translated as "legitimate daughter of the Jiang family". The character 嫡, di, means "legal wife" or "child of legal wife" and also is one of the characters in the title of the novel The Double was based on, 嫡嫁千金 (Marriage of the Di Daughter).

She was accused of fratricide and attempted matricide at age 8 when she was blamed for her stepmother's miscarriage.

As the second daughter of a noble family, she is referred to outside the family as Jiang-er'niangzi (姜二娘子, “Second Lady Jiang”, or sometimes translated as "Miss Jiang"). Family servants call her niangzi or er’niangzi (translated in direct address as "my lady"). (Note that Tong'er calls Jiang Li niangzi but tends to call Xue Fangfei jiejie (姐姐, older sister) when they're alone.)

Peers who are close to her, like her school friend Liu Xu and her (slightly) older male cousins Jiang Jingrui and Ye Shijie, call her Jiang Li in the earlier episodes and eventually start calling her A'Li as they become closer.

Her younger sister Jiang Ruoyao and younger cousin Jiang Yu'e call her er'jie (二姐, older sister, second in the birth order; subs often translate this as “Li” even though they’re not actually using her name at all) or er'jiejie. Her younger brother calls her jiejie.

People in her family who are older than her call her A'Li (阿梨], "A" being an affectionate/familiar prefix and "Li" being her given name) or Li'er (梨儿, "er" being an affectionate/familiar suffix). Most people who call her one of these things (including Xue Fangfei, her paternal family, her mother, and her mom’s friend Liu-furen) call her Li’er, while her maternal family (other than her mother) tends to call her A’Li. Her maternal cousin Ye Shijie calls her/refers to her as both Li’er and A’Li, though I noticed him using Li’er more often.

Her paternal grandmother calls her Li'er, haizi (孩子, child), and er’yatou (二丫头, literally second girl). The latter two are generally given in the subs as Li or Li’er.

Her aunt (her father’s younger brother’s wife) calls her wo de hao zhinu (我的好侄女, “my dear niece”) at one point when she's feeling particularly appreciative.

Note that while some people close to Jiang Li call her A'Li (阿梨), when Su-guogong calls (Xue Fangfei as) Jiang Li A'Li, the Chinese subs use 阿狸 (different "li" character). They are pronounced identically, but the latter is the way that Xue Fangfei’s given name, Xue Li, is spelled (薛狸).

Paternal family (Jiang jia 姜家)

Parents

Jiang Yuanbai (姜元柏) is the current head of the noble Jiang family and a high-ranking minister in the imperial court.

His title is Jiang-xiangguo 姜相国, translated as "Grand Chancellor" or "Secretariat Director", depending on the subs.

Xiangguo is a more general honorific that is used for some other ministers as well. His position more specifically seems to be zhongshuling (中书令, “Secretariat Director” or “Chief Secretary”) and taishi (太师, “Grand Preceptor”).

The emperor calls him (and other officials) qing (卿, noble, minister). He also refers to him at least once as laoshi (老师, teacher).

Servants call him zhujun (主君, translated as “my lord” when in direct address).

Jiang Li calls him fuqin (父亲, formal term for "father"). I don't think Xue-Fangfei-as-Jiang-Li ever calls him die (爹, less formal term for "father") at any point, but that is presumably what Jiang Li called him as a child, since he refers to himself as diedie in a flashback when she’s young.

His brothers call him da’ge (大哥, older brother, first in the birth order). His sister-in-law (Jiang Yuanping's wife) also calls him da'ge.

Jiang Jingrui and Jiang Yu'e call him da’bofu (大伯父, father’s older brother, first in the birth order, "Uncle").

Hi wife Ji Shuran calls him fujun (夫君, husband).

He and his brothers share a generation name (one shared character in the given name of each descendant of the same generation), 元, yuan. However, they don’t appear to have continued the tradition in the next generation, because Jiang Jingrui's and Jiang Bingji's names don't share a character. At first I thought at least the girls shared a character, because Jiang Li (whose given name is Ruoyu) and her sister Jiang Ruoyao both have 若, Ruo, but their older sister and their uncle’s daughter don’t have that character in their names, so I guess not.

Ye Zhenzhen (叶珍珍) was Jiang Li's mother.

She died when Jiang Li was a baby, at least six months after giving birth.

She was Jiang Yuanbai's furen (夫人), his official wife (as opposed to a concubine).

When Jiang Li talks about her, she refers to her as a'niang (阿娘, mother) or shengmu (生母, birth mother).

Xue Fangfei addresses her as Ye-furen in her head/when praying to her.

Her younger brother Ye Mingyu calls her Zhenzhen-jie (珍珍姐).

Ji Shuran (季淑然) is Jiang Li's stepmother.

She is Jiang Yuanbai's current furen. Jiang Yuanbai married her after Ye Zhenzhen died.

She's over 30 and probably under 40.

She's the mother of Jiang Ruoyao and Jiang Bingji, who call her niang. Jiang Ruoyao sometimes calls her or refers to her as muqin.

She's referred to as Jiang-furen (姜夫人, “Madam Jiang”) by those outside the family (women keep their own surname when they get married, but when honorifics are used, they're attached to the husband's surname). At one point she refers to herself as Jiang jia de zhumu (姜家的主母, "madam of the Jiang family").

Her husband and the family servants call her furen.

Jiang Li calls her muqin (母亲, formal term for "mother"). In flashbacks, like when she miscarries and when Jiang Li refuses to go home with her maternal grandmother, young Jiang Li calls her niang. She’s sometimes referred to as Jiang Li’s houmu (后母, stepmother).

Consort Li, her younger sister, calls her jiejie.

The Marquis of Ningyuan calls her xiangguo-furen (xiangguo being her husband’s court title).

Jiang Jingrui calls her da’bomu (大伯母, wife of da’bofu). Jiang Yu'e calls her bomu ("Auntie Shuran").

Her husband's younger brother Jiang Yuanping calls her saozi (嫂子, sister-in-law).

Before her marriage, as the eldest child/daughter of the Ji family, she was called Ji-da’niangzi.

Paternal grandparents

Jiang Yuanbai's mother is referred to as Jiang-lao'furen (姜老夫人, "old Madam Jiang").

She was Jiang Yuanbai’s father's furen. Her husband also had at least one concubine.

Jiang Li and her siblings and paternal cousins call her zumu (祖母, father's mother, "Grandmother").

Her two sons and her husband's son from a concubine call her muqin.

Members of her household, including her daughters-in-law, refer to her as lao’furen.

[Not pictured because he never appears onscreen] Jiang Yuanbai's father, who's deceased, is referred to a few times.

Tong’er refers to him as Jiang-lao’taigong (姜老太公, “Old Master Jiang”).

Jiang Li refers to him as zufu (祖父, “Grandfather”).

His widow refers to him as taigong (太公, grandfather, “Old Master Jiang”) in the context of Jiang Li. She addresses him as lao’Jiang at one point.

Paternal aunts and uncles

Jiang Yuanping (姜元平) is Jiang Yuanbai's younger brother from the same mother and father.

Jiang Li calls him er'shu (二叔, father’s younger brother, second in the birth order; “ Second Uncle Jiang”).

His son Jiang Jingrui calls him die (爹, "Father").

Jiang Yuanping’s wife's surname is Lu (卢).

Jiang Li calls her er'shumu (二叔母, wife of er'shu; “Second Auntie Lu”). Interestingly, all the tumblr guides I’ve seen say the wife of your father’s younger brother would be shenmu, not shumu, but she is clearly saying shu according to the subs, and shumu is in the dictionary.

Her husband calls her furen (translated as "My Lady" or "my dear"); her son calls her niang ("Mother").

Jiang Yuanxing (姜元兴) is Jiang Yuanbai's younger half-brother; they have the same dad, but his mom was their dad's concubine.

Jiang Li calls him san'shu (三叔, father’s younger brother, third in the birth order; “Third Uncle Jiang”).

Jiang Yuanxing’s wife's surname is Yang (杨).

Jiang Lu calls her san'shumu (三叔母, wife of san'shu; “Third Auntie Yang”).

Siblings

Jiang Yue (姜月) is Jiang Yuanbai’s oldest child and Jiang Li’s older sister. She was born to a maid (so, not the furen). This means that while she is the oldest child, she's not the oldest "legitimate" child.

She’s not directly mentioned until episode 26 (unless I missed something), so I won’t say anything else about her, to avoid spoilers.

Jiang Ruoyao (姜若瑶) is Ji Shuran's oldest child, Jiang Li's younger sister, and the third child and third daughter of Jiang Yuanbai.

She can't be much younger than Jiang Li, possibly two years younger at most would be my guess? I can't remember if they ever say her age. She has a coming of age ceremony in one of the early episodes.

Jiang Li calls her san'mei (三妹, literally "third younger sister", which refers to her position in the birth order as the third daughter of the Jiang family, rather than meaning that she's the third youngest of Jiang Li's younger sisters (Jiang Li only has one younger sister)).

She calls Jiang Li er’jie (二姐, older sister, second in the birth order; subs translate this as just “Li”).

Her parents call her Yao’er.

Those outside the family call her Jiang-san'niangzi (姜三娘子, “Third Lady Jiang”). Family servants call her niangzi or san’niangzi.

Jiang Bingji (姜丙吉) is Ji Shuran's second child, Jiang Li's younger brother, and the fourth child and only son of Jiang Yuanbai.

He was born after Ji Shuran’s miscarriage (source: he refers to the fetus as gege (哥哥, older brother), meaning it would have been born before him). This means he’s less than 10 years old, since the miscarriage/Jiang Li’s exile was 10 years ago.

Jiang Li doesn't have a lot of interaction with him, but in his intro she calls him didi (弟弟, little brother) and he calls her jiejie (姐姐, big sister).

Family servants call him xiao'gongzi (小公子, "Young Master").

Paternal cousins

Jiang Jingrui (姜景睿) is Jiang Yuanping's son.

Jiang Li calls him tangxiong (堂兄, older paternal male cousin, i.e., son of father’s brother, older than her) the first time they meet, which causes him to accuse her of not being Jiang Li because it's too formal. Jiang Yu’e also calls him tangxiong.

Jiang Li's childhood nickname for him was xiao'Ruirui (小睿睿). In the present she mostly calls him Jiang Jingrui.

Liu Xu refers to him as Jiang Li’s gege.

He calls Jiang Li “Jiang Li” and sometimes refers to her as Li'er.

Those outside the family call him Jiang-gongzi (姜公子, “Mr. Jiang”).

Jiang Yu'e (姜玉娥) is Jiang Yuanxing's daughter.

This was something that I didn't pick up on for a while: She and Jiang Li refer to each other (and others refer to them) as sisters (Jiang Li calls her si'mei (四妹, fourth younger sister) and she calls Jiang Li er'jie), but they're actually cousins; their dads are brothers.

Jiang Jingrui also calls her si’mei.

She has a lower position in the family because her dad's mom was not the furen but a concubine.

As the fourth daughter of the Jiang family (though again, not the fourth daughter of Jiang Yuanbei; she's the fourth girl born to the previous generation of Jiang sons), I think she's addressed by those outside the family as Jiang-si’niangzi (四三娘子, “Fourth Lady Jiang”).

Jiang family servants

Tong’er (桐儿) is Jiang Li’s maid.

Sun-mama (孙妈妈, “senior maidservant Sun” or "Madam Sun") is Ji Shuran’s maid.

[Not pictured because I never saw a title card for her] Zhang-popo (张婆婆, “maidservant Zhang”) is Jiang-lao’furen’s maid.

Maternal family (Ye jia 叶家)

Maternal grandmother

Ye Zhenzhen’s mother is referred to as Ye-lao’furen (叶老夫人, “Old Madam Ye” or “Old Mrs. Ye”).

Jiang Li calls her wai’zumu (外祖母, mother’s mother, “Grandmother”).

Maternal aunts and uncles

Ye Mingxuan (叶明轩) is Ye Zhenzhen's brother, the second oldest son in the family.

Jiang Li calls him er'jiu (二舅, mother’s brother, second in the birth order).

Ye Mingxuan’s older brother (Ye Shijie’s dad) and father are dead, making him the current head of the family.

It’s unclear if he’s Ye Zhenzhen’s older or younger brother. Because the term for a mother’s brother is the same whether the brother is older or younger than the mother (jiu), it’s impossible to tell from what Jiang Li calls him. I’m listening for other times someone else calls him something that could give a hint to this, but the only thing I’ve found is Jiang Yuanbai calling him something translated as brother-in-law, qingjia xiongdi (亲家兄弟), but xiongdi in my understanding refers generally to brothers and doesn’t specify older or younger. I don’t think there are any flashbacks in which Ye Zhenzhen talks to or about him. And we can infer that the birth order terms used for the men in this family do not include the women, because we know Ye Mingyu, who is referred to as third uncle and so must be the third son, actually must be the fourth child overall (assuming there aren't any other Ye daughters), because Ye Zhenzhen calls him younger brother, which means he has three older siblings (the two sons who are older than him, plus Ye Zhenzhen). So we know that Ye Mingxuan is second in the birth order of sons specifically, but he could have one or more older sisters as well.

Ye Mingxuan's wife’s surname is Zhuo (卓).

Jiang Li calls her er’jiumu (二舅母, wife of er’jiu).

I assume she's called Ye-furen (叶夫人) by those outside the family but haven't encountered it in my rewatch yet.

Ye Mingyu (叶明煜) is Ye Zhenzhen's younger brother, the third oldest son in the family.

Jiang Li calls him san'jiu (三舅, mother’s brother, third in the birth order).

He refers to Ye Zhenzhen as Zhenzhen-jie. In his flashback of her getting married in episode 15, she calls him san’di (三弟, third younger brother, meaning younger brother who’s the third son; it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s the third of her younger brothers. She does have three brothers, but it’s possible one or both of the other two are older than her; see above).

The clerk in his family’s store calls him san’lang (三郎, “Third Master”).

Ye Jia’er calls him san’shu and I assume Ye Shijie does as well, since in both cases he’s the younger brother of their fathers.

Maternal cousins

Ye Shengxuan (叶圣宣), courtesy name Shijie (世杰), is the son of the oldest (now deceased, and I never caught a name if it was given) son of the previous generation of the Ye family. (Source: Ye Mingxuan introduces himself as Ye Shijie’s er’shu, meaning he’s second in the birth order and the younger brother of Ye Shijie’s dad, so Ye Shijie's dad must be first in the birth order.)

Jiang Li calls him biaoge (表哥, term for an older male cousin when you're related through one or both of your mothers (so, one of his parents is your mom's sibling and/or one of your parents is his mom's sibling. In this case, Jiang Li's mom is his father's sister)). Jiang Jingrui refers to him as Jiang Li’s biaoxiong (表兄, another term for an older male maternal cousin).

He calls Jiang Li Li'er, A’Li, or Jiang Li.

Jiang Jingrui calls him Shijie or biaoge, though he is not Jiang Jingrui's maternal cousin (he is the maternal cousin of Jiang Li, Jiang Jingrui's paternal cousin).

People who aren’t close to him call him Ye-gongzi (叶公子) or Ye-longjun (叶郎君), both translated as “Mr. Ye”.

Ye Jia’er (叶嘉儿) is Ye Mingxuan's daughter.

Jiang Li calls her biaojie (表姐, term for an older female cousin when you’re related through one or both of your mothers) or Jia’er-biaojie.

She calls Jiang Li biaomei (表妹, younger female maternal cousin).

The clerk in the family store calls her Jia’er-niangzi (嘉儿娘子; in this case the “er” is part of her given name, rather than the “er” meaning “second”).

I assume people not associated with the family call her Ye-niangzi, but I haven’t come across that yet in my rewatch.

Ye family servants

[Not pictured because I didn't see a title card for her] Li-mama (李妈妈, “Madam Li”) is Ye-furen's maid.

I'll update the above as my rewatch continues, so watch this space!

[crystallinestars]

I agree with you, it does feel very fetish-y because it is a fetish. I would say the fandom has done it more than Hoyoverse themselves, but Haikaveh fans have 'heterosexualized' ( I am aware that is not a word, but I am unable to think of a better term.. ) a pairing that they insist is exclusively gay. I am alarmed by the amount of people who refer to Kaveh as Alhaitham's wife and the jokes about Kaveh being on maternity leave is getting old very quickly. There is no problem with a feminine and masculine same-sex duo, but this.. is stereotyping and downright sexist. Why is the more emotional one the 'woman' in the relationship? Why is there even a 'woman' in it at all if it doesn't involve an actual one?!?! Kaveh is, in my opinion, a perfect balance of your typical femininity and masculinity. I see him as rather high maintenance, but that does not equal femininity in any way, shape or form. I have seen people say that with both Aventurine and Kaveh are feminine / gay because they dress nicely... 😟 That's especially weird with Kaveh, considering some of it is cultural, and perhaps it's apart of Aventurine's facade due to his lore. It makes me laugh, actually. And in one of your previous asks, I forgot how much people were crapping themselves over the one (1) shot of Alhaitham and Kaveh.. standing next to each other. I saw someone say that the way Kaveh sat in the scene where they were at home was gay and they provided a photo (you could only see a little bit of his thighs, ankles and below that. I'm pretty sure his ankles were only slightly crossed.) Then I saw someone else post a picture of them and spamming the caption with the f slur. I audibly gasped at both of them. You couldn't even see Kaveh's legs, and how do you 'sit' gay?!?! Being masculine is when you do not care for your appearance and have a rock hard eight pack, are as tall as a skyscraper or something, and walk in the stiffest way possible.. I don't know.. That's what others make it sound like. Others were saying that they were getting along and that meant they were in love in Cyno's new story quest. Cyno's second story quest was very good and I am so disappointed to see people making it all about Haikaveh and not even enjoying the actual story! These people are dead serious about all of this, too. It absolutely baffles me. On a lighter note, I'd like to propose a potential pairing. I enjoy them regardless of whether they are romantic or not; but what are your thoughts on Kaveh and Kokomi? I find Kokomi to be easy to pair others with, and overall I think her personality would be good for him. I'd say she has a good balance between being logical and being in tune with her emotions, which, IMO, is precisely the type of person Kaveh needs. They're both very sweet and very pretty, too! 💗 I've been tempted to make a list of characters and what kind of personalities / types of people I think would be good for them, just for fun. Thank you for listening to all of our rambles! - 🪷🪽 ( To answer your question from before, I'll use both of these emojis, if that's all right ♡ )

Yes, you can be 🪷🪽!

I’ve already talked at length with another Anon about the feminization of Kaveh by fandom, and the heterosexual dynamics frequently applied to mlm pairings, so if you're curious, you can look at the post here.

I completely agree with your point that BL pairings get reduced to one guy being depicted as masculine, while the other as more feminine. It’s ironic since neither of them are women, but it’s something that happens A LOT. The pregnancy and Alhaitham’s wife jokes are straight up uncomfortable for me, and I really hate what fandom did to Kaveh.

Just because he dresses well and is more emotional, he gets painted as feminine because those traits are traditionally associated with women. I went into this more in-depth in the linked post, so I won’t repeat my points again, but in short: people need to stop associating certain traits with femininity and submission.

Kaveh is very masculine. He carries himself and behaves just like any other man, so it’s a massacre of his character to say he’s a feminine babygirl. He does have some feminine traits, but as you said, he has a nice balance between masculine and feminine. He’s what so many people in real life claim men should be.

Disappointed but not surprised they're using the most arbitrary examples to try and prove Kaveh's sexuality. They've done it before, and they'll do it again. Before you know it, they'll say breathing proves he's gay 😒 I'm curious, did they do such analyses for Alhaitham too? Not necessarily in your example, but some time in the past? I've never seen any for him, other than his color palette fitting the gay flag (which is such a strained argument).

Also nothing new about people focusing on their ship instead of the actual story. I've seen this behavior in other fandoms as well, and it's disappointing. It would be so much fun to see discussions about the story, lore, or character motivations instead of just ships.

Anon. I ADORE Kokomi. She is my favorite female Genshin character, and probably one of my favorite female characters overall! You better believe I thought about my favorite Genshin characters interacting!

Unlike you, I find it difficult to ship Kokomi (nobody feels good enough for my beloved Priestess 💔), so while I don't think a romance between them will work out, I am more than open to the concept and will entertain it for fun! They would indeed make the prettiest and sweetest couple in Teyvat ☺️ Kokomi would be a very calming influence for Kaveh. I can almost picture her guiding and helping him navigate his life for the better.

I also like the idea of Kaveh with Candace. Candace is gentle and caring, which is something I think Kaveh needs. Yet, she is firm and takes no nonsense, so she will chastise Kaveh when he needs it. I just think she would be great at keeping him on the right path. Alhaitham does it fairly well, but he's too abrasive with his wording, meanwhile Candace (and Kokomi!) would be more gentle. Plus, I can imagine Kaveh and Candace bonding over him designing the library for Aaru village.

It sounds like you're very into shipping? Or at least, character analysis. Kokomi and Kaveh is an idea I love a lot (though I may be biased since I love both characters to bits), so I'm curious about any other unconventional pairings you have. Are there any you want to share?

Anyways, sorry for replying so late. Hope you have a great day!

[alto-tenure]

Was Claire a willing test subject? Yes, and in this essay I will...

I’ve had this essay topic on my mind for a while, but now I’m finally doing the research for it. This will take a look at Claire’s role in the time machine explosion, and how much of her being a test subject was her choice and how much of it was manipulation.

The conventional narrative, as perpetuated by Dimitri, is that Claire was manipulated by Bill Hawks to go into the time machine, and was an unwilling test subject. This is often taken as the truth of it all, and an extra reason to hate Bill Hawks. Bill Hawks is an easy person to hate, after all, for just making money he got from the deaths of many people in the explosion.

But I think it’s more complicated than “Claire was entirely unwilling and was just too nice to say no to her coworker” or “Claire was being manipulated/lied to by Bill”. So this is an examination of Claire’s dialogue when she talks about the time machine, to attempt to study exactly how much she consented and how much she knew about the time machine.

Here goes.

Quick disclaimer -- I have the American version of this game, so it’s the American dialogue used. I don’t know how different the EU versions of these parts are, and that’s an interesting topic, but this is based on the US version.

Let’s start with the cutscene right before the explosion, shall we?

[Image ID: Cutscene screenshot. Claire is in the process of grabbing her coat. The caption reads “We’re running a very important experiment today.” /end ID]

Claire, first of all, was actually aware of the experiment. This is, as opposed to Dimitri, who wasn’t aware that the experiment was happening, saying the following: “By the time I realized Bill planned to go ahead with the experiment, it was too late to stop him.”

(Side note: I think it’s hilarious that both Claire and Dimitri ended up “running late”, in a manner of sorts -- Claire was running late when she left Layton, and Dimitri was also late to the lab.)

The implication of this is that one and/or both of them decided on purpose to not tell Dimitri that they planned on going ahead with the test. After all, Dimitri had expressed apprehension beforehand about going ahead with the test, saying it was too dangerous.

Claire and Dimitri are implied to be fairly close -- they have similar haircuts (which is definitely a purposeful character design choice). Bill has a “distance” of sorts from the two of them; Claire in the future never really talks to him [citation needed]. If Claire had similar apprehensions, she probably wouldn’t have kept the fact that they were going ahead with the experiment a secret from him -- she knew it was important to keep it a secret from him, because he would have attempted to dissuade her from going in. The key takeaway from this is that in spite of any implied closeness between them, she didn’t tell him that the test was going forward. She didn’t want to be dissuaded.

Claire says when she persuades Layton to turn back that “[Clive] isn’t the only one to blame”. Layton just nods. She’s referring to herself in this line as someone else to blame for all this, but Layton believes she’s referring to Bill, or even perhaps Dimitri -- he later alludes to blaming him for what Clive did by saying that Clive was a “victim of a political agenda for progress, no matter the cost”. Remember that Layton had no idea that Claire was/is Celeste when she said that; he had no context for any deeper meaning.

However, we’re going to focus on how she blames herself.

[Image ID: Claire (as Celeste) and Clive’s sprites on-screen inside of the mobile fortress. “Celeste” is saying “After all, so much of this tragedy was caused by the mistakes we scientists made.” /end ID]

She is part of the scientists that made the mistake. She is part of the “we”. She blames herself for what went wrong. She was responsible for the construction of the machine, and she was part of what drove its destruction. This is how Claire consistently frames it; all of them bear some level of blame for the destruction of London. I don’t think she would be as willing to blame herself if she weren’t willing to be the test subject.

[Image ID: A textbox in front of an image of Dimitri Allen examining some data. Claire is saying the dialogue, which reads “There’s no telling what chaos we’d release upon the world if we tried to save the dead from their fate.” /end ID]

One of the threads that runs through the ending of this game is that Claire is resigned to her fate. She’s always known it was going to end like this, with her saying goodbye and going back so that she can die. She is the epitome of “doomed by the narrative”, and she knows it, and she hasn’t deemed it worth fighting. It’s an inevitability. After all, she feels guilty for the destruction that she believes she helped to cause.

[Image ID: Same as previous, but the dialogue now says “What Dimitri, Bill, and I did 10 years ago broke the laws of nature. And now we must pay.” /end ID]

She doesn’t hesitate to implicate herself for the destruction. She is and always has been a part of this. She was responsible for the construction of the machine -- and she was responsible for its usage.

Claire never brings up the part where Bill took corporate funding from the time machine, so we’ll never know her thoughts on that specifically -- all we know is that she believes all three of them responsible, and is willing to hold herself accountable by refusing to fight her fate.

So, after examining what Claire has to say about the explosion, what can we conclude?

Claire was most likely willing to test the time machine. She is willing to take part of the blame for the explosion and the devastation caused by it as part of the crew that constructed the time machine. She was almost certainly not coerced. Whether she knew about the corporate funding or not is a toss-up -- it’s more likely she was motivated by scientific discovery than by greed -- but it doesn’t change the fact that she was not completely coerced into it. There’s room for nuance here -- there could have been some manipulation involved with her that’s caused her to believe she was completely willing, but she definitely wasn’t outright coerced, and I think people (cough Dimitri cough) tend to underestimate the amount of agency and control Claire had over the situation.

Is Bill Hawks enough of a bastard to have gone ahead with the experiment, even if Claire hadn’t consented to being used as the subject? Sure. Do I think that was the situation? Absolutely not.

[butmakeitgayblog]

Okay fam imma summarise this one. Ali Kreiger (literal goddess and 2 time fifa world cup champion who actually played on all games) and Ashlyn Harris (claims to be a 2 time world cup champion too despite not playing a single game like i said literal benchwarmer with a questionable mullet) have been together for more than a decade, got married and has two kids. Flash forward to October last year where Ali has been posting photos of herself looking mighty fine with captions referencing Beyonces infamous cheating album “lemonade”. “Preparing for playoffs while in my Beyoncé lemonade era” is what she said. it don’t need to take no genius to know what that means. Turns out it was with Sophia Bush (also a goddess of an actress with that trademark raspy voice) she was cheating with. And even their teammates are on Ali’s side mind you they’ve been best friends with each other for more than a decade so they all know what’s up. And the face of USWNT Alex Morgan herself even joined in on the chaos and said “These comments do not disappoint” regarding that lemonade era post. Ashlyn fumbled an unproblematic goddess to a woman who doesn’t mind cheating and covers it up by telling a heartwarming story of coming out. The end.

Ohhh right ok I dimly remember seeing something about this awhile back. You'll have to forgive me cuz I don't follow soccer beyond just thinking Christen Press is very pretty 😩 Sam watches soccer, but we have a tacit agreement that she doesn't inflict that or any soccer talk on me because within like 4 to 7 minutes my eyes glaze over (which as trade off I don't inflict any baseball talk or watching on her, cuz give'n'take ya know)

That being said I thought it was later said that they'd already seperated but not divorced or something? Like yeah it was a fast turn around in dating but that they'd actually been separated and not living together for a bit before mullet and the Bush lady got together, but Ali thought they were working to reconcile? I have no idea if that's right I just feel like I vaguely remember that? The Lemonade references tho,,,, woof. I mean that def points to cheating so, idk.

My general 2 thoughts tho from an outside perspective with like almost zero actual knowledge of the situation, 1. Ashlyn is such a douchey name. Ashlyn. I'm so sorry to anyone named that who is genuinely a great person and you should sue your parents for doing that to you. Ashlyn. It's like the girl version of Trey, just like ugh I hear that name and already know you're a dick lol.

Anyway, 2. The thing with cheating is, I pretty much always blame the partner who cheated more than the other person. Yes the friend sucks for doing that, no question, but the truth is no one can make a partner cheat. If they cheat, they were already looking to cheat in some way or another, consciously or not, and it all comes down to who they found to cheat with. So if all that is true, while yeah Bush sucks as a friend no doubt, really she shouldn't feel too-too happy in her position because 9/10 times it ends up being more a matter of 'you were the easiest and most convenient option' rather than 'this love was just too strong and we couldn't resist' even tho it might feel that way for the cheater(s). I'm not saying relationships that start off from cheating can't or won't last, because they can and they have. But fundamentally, one or both partners should at least be mildly aware that the person who cheated on their SI was already open to cheating in the first place. You just gave them the opportunity 👀

[sterlingarcher23]

Love confessions - Lumax & Elmax

Lucas confessed first by telling Max that he loves her:

"I see you." - That's Lumax love.

And Max needs to reply this love confession...

Besides it is the adult way of a love confession and not a "ILY", just saying the words doesn't mean a thing as it was clearly showcased by Mike's "love confession": "ILY" is regarded as a silly, mediocre way by the Duffers. So, Max repeating/mirroring Lucas's words, that's love having true meaning and goes so much deeper.

Something along the lines of "[...but] I see you too." would be the only appropriate answer for their love story from a storytelling perspective. And, they wrote this dialog and the passing of notes, or Lucas begging Max "Look at me" for a reason in this fashion: they cut them off from love by blinding her but because of these lines and scenes, because of the binoculars pattern, the movie date, they intend to give Max back what she lost: love.

El confessed later, when she first held her hand and then revived her using her heart hand, the right onr. For Max then, placing her own left hand, coming from the heart, on El's right side of the chest and/or taking her hands and pulling them to her chest to feel her, would therefore be a logical choice for Elmax to have both knowing what they feel. Literally.

How El confessed:

Removing these abilities from Max has the same narrative function as giving it back or give her a substitute: as a writer you create a problem that you intend to solve.

She couldn’t feel El's hand in the Void (she held her hand as she died), nor could she see Lucas in reality. - She wasn't alone but she couldn’t sense their love.

This is similar (and actually blatantly copied) to what happened to Korra by the end of Season 1: her bending abilities were taken away by Amon. The writers made the mistake of giving her the abilities back right away in Season 1 instead of making it an issue for the beginning of Season 2 at least. The question in these cases from a writers perspective is never IF but HOW. And what does it mean in the narration.

It is not a question if Max can see or feel anything again but how. And how will it change her. It's closely related to the question how she will get out of the coma. Through a sacrifice...

The relation to Legend of Korra isn't just a pure comparison, the series was in parts an inspiration and still is, so getting back on her feet, getting these abilities bestowed as a gift, that's part of a healing arc, especially an emotional healing ... Only with these abilities, Max can receive and give love, only then she'll be able to open up her heart because that's what it was all about: heart.

That's why hers stopped - as a metaphor. Cut off from love.

That's what this is all about: finding love. And sacrifice. That's El's sacrifice for Max, for Lucas. She's meant to give. Bringing Max back and share, bestow, give... Isn't this the ultimate love confession? To give up something for the one you love?

Yes, El's sacrifice. However, it's the only way this can actually work. It's made explicit that Max may never wake up, that El can't contact her in her traditional way... El needs to fly. Not literally. Brenner was talking in metaphors (and the writers in references). It's also symbolism for how queer love can only be in a society that is full of bigots: in your dreams ; it is also symbolism of how queer love can actually be healthy... can heal. - Sounds a bit weird? It actually isn't. We've seen glimpses of that in Vol2 how it can and will work. "Dream of me." it says in the captions, and El's and Max's actual love story started then: In Max's mind. And the script tells us that you can actually split consciousness from the body - problem in this case is that sending a person back in this specific case will need someone to "let go of his/her mortal shell":

It's a symbolic writing gesture so to speak, a way to communicate that you cherish what's been given to you as a sacrifice: use it well, don't ignore or push away those that love you, Max.

And she will...

Someday love will find you

True love won't desert you

You know I still love you

Though we touched and went our separate ways

So, how will things happen exactly? I don't know, however what I described is based on the pure fact that they like to mirror moments and scenes and it is very logical that they will mirror these moments /but in a positive way.) Something like that will happen. Even though that all magic comes at a price.

All I want to point out is how this works from a narrative perspective - will Max's vision be different? Likely. I have an idea how but it's more of an educated guess that would make sense.

What I could see as an additional gesture of their love is that after using the binoculars again, Max wants to give them back to Lucas but he just says "Keep them."

-

-

-

-

PS: I want to mention that if you look at the killing scenes then all victims have white eyes as soon as Henry goes into the second phase of his ritual ; Patrick's eyes aren't even bleeding, the others only a little bit. In comparison El's were bleeding badly and her's are fine because Henry didn't get to stage 2. In other words, Max being blind isn't an injury and only obscured as such, but it's part of what One does as Dr Brenner explained earlier, which was put in as a dialog for this very specific reason, a removal of the ability to see... this Stranger Things can (and will) do something about. - And even real injuries don't seem a big deal? Or did Hopper only forget his broken ankle?

[ingravinoveritas]

David and Michael get lots of acclaim and heart eye emojis for being adorably cute and proud and lovely and OOP! And as if by magic… #dontforgetaboutus

Oh, boy. Well, I was tagged in several posts about this and had it sent to me by several people, and it's just...going back to what I mentioned the other day about predictability, here is another perfect example of exactly that.

This seems to be a callback to Georgia referring to AL as "#mywife", and in both cases, the "flirting" between Georgia and AL feels very forced and disingenuous. I would say this is especially true of today's post, as it comes right on the heels of that photo of Michael and David on press night and how it has subsequently been overwhelming the social media chatter.

The problem here is that Anna's caption makes absolutely no sense at all. As it is worded, it makes it sound like Georgia has two husbands (if she has a first husband, then logically that would seem to mean she has a second one). So is Anna calling herself a husband? It seems like this is yet another attempt at her and Georgia trying to be like Michael and David, and once again, it falls completely flat. All of this is riffing on Georgia calling Michael David's "other wife," but that was never something Anna was originally part of--she never called Michael David's "other wife" or was included in any of the banter/exchanges between Michael and Georgia, and certainly not in anything involving David.

So the fact that people are now describing this as a "polycule" is sort of mind-boggling to me, because while calling Michael "other wife" was rooted in the unavoidable chemistry and powerful connection between Michael and David (on and off screen), in reality there is nothing to suggest Georgia or Anna are attracted to or even like each other as genuine friends beyond a superficial, surface level. And while many fans on Twitter are up in arms about people shipping Michael and David (who were just photographed actually looking into each other's eyes), it somehow is completely acceptable for people to tweet/comment about Georgia and AL "making out," asking if Georgia "can fight," and so on.

That all being said, what's really interesting to me is what Anna and Georgia haven't posted, which is any sort of personal pictures. The pictures AL re-shared from Georgia are production stills (rather than a picture with David backstage, for instance), and she also did not post a picture of her and Michael, which she did do when they went to see David in Good in October of last year:

There has also noticeably not been a personal picture posted of Georgia and Anna, and even more notably, no picture of Michael and David from last night. For me this calls to mind the recent blurry photo that AL posted, and the fact that it appeared to have been a sneaked photo that was taken without Michael or David's knowledge (which would explain Michael looking so caught off-guard/alarmed and David not even looking in AL's direction).

Thinking about the warmth and adoration on Michael and David's faces in the theatre photo, it seems like last night was very much "their" night, and so I do wonder if Anna--much to her chagrin, no doubt--was strictly told not to take any photos for the sake of Michael and David's privacy.

Whatever the case may be, it is definitely tiring to see this predictable pattern of behavior from Georgia and AL. I think what folks are missing is that whether Michael and David are together romantically or not, they do not care what people think of their friendship/relationship, because it is for them, not for anyone else. But Georgia and Anna seem to want people to think that they are close, and have created this "flirtation" for the purpose of public consumption and furthering a narrative.

So yes, those are my thoughts on the new Insta stories from Georgia/AL. Glad as always to hear from my followers on what you all think of these latest developments. Thank you both for writing in! x

[ingek73]

Harry and the Press: Read All About It?

A prince of the realm taking on Britain’s biggest newspapers is surely newsworthy? Not if you’re a reader of one of these titles, writes Liz Gerard

Liz Gerard

24 May 2023

In the 45 days from 28 March to 12 May, members of the Royal Family featured on our national newspaper front pages 320 times. These appearances included 133 photographs and 82 lead stories.

What do you expect? you might ask. We’ve just had a Coronation for the first time in 70 years. And we can all pledge allegiance to the new King. And Kate had a go at climbing a wall. And Charlotte had a birthday. And Louis wore blue. And some of them went to the pub and drank beer or a gin and tonic. And Camilla’s a jolly good egg. And Meghan is self-centred. And Harry…

Ah yes, Harry.

Harry flew in from America twice during that period. Once to make a brief appearance at the Coronation; and once to attend the High Court, where he has launched three cases, accusing the Mail, the Sun and the Mirror of illegal breaches of privacy.

He was joined in his case against the Mail by Baroness Lawrence, Elton John, David Furnish, Sadie Frost, Liz Hurley and Simon Hughes. Only Hurley and Hughes were missing from court on day one – 27 March. Quite a big deal, you might have thought. Five very big names, including a royal prince, appearing in court in person to sue our most popular news brand. Imagine the sort of coverage that turnout would have achieved were they taking on the BBC rather than the Mail.

So how many of those 320 front-page items did this four-day hearing account for? Six – almost all on the first day.

The Times and Telegraph both had a main photograph of Harry with a caption explaining why he was in the country; the i and Mirror had puffs – the i referring to the court case, the Mirror ignoring that altogether in favour of the King being too busy to see his son. The Guardian also had Harry as the main picture, alongside a splash that focused on Baroness Lawrence’s assertion that she felt betrayed by the Mail – which has made great capital over the years from its pursuit of her son’s murderers.

But the case was covered inside, wasn’t it? Up to a point, Lord Copper.

The Times, i and Telegraph had page leads. The first two focused on the allegations against the Mail; the Telegraph – in common with the other papers that carried anything at all – went on the line that Harry wouldn’t be seeing Dad while he was here. The Mail, which had described the lawsuits as “a pre-planned and orchestrated attempt to draw it into the phone-hacking scandal” and the allegations as “preposterous smears”, ploughed its own furrow with a page five lead headlined ‘Key witness says hacking claims “false”‘. A private investigator who had told the plaintiffs’ lawyers 18 months earlier that he had acted illegally on behalf of the Mail – “hacking phones, tapping landlines and bugging cars” – had now produced another signed statement retracting it all.

The paper’s owner, Associated, wanted the case thrown out, arguing, among other things, that it was based on material given in confidence to the Leveson Inquiry and because it was out of time. It also applied for anonymity for its journalists “in order to prevent distinguished journalists having their reputations destroyed in the event that the case never proceeds to full trial”. The granting of this application was phrased as “the judge quickly awarded victory to the Mail”. Somehow the factoid that it had been made under the auspices of human rights legislation – which the Mail has repeatedly said should be repealed – did not make it into print.

So much for day one. If Baroness Lawrence was a tasty starter, day two brought a seriously meaty main course in the form of Prince Harry’s witness statement. There were two central features:

The Royal Family had known about phone-hacking, he said, but didn’t tell him and did nothing about it for fear of opening a can of worms. There was even, he said, a private agreement with the Murdoch papers not to “engage or even discuss” the possibility of bringing claims against them until the hacking litigation was over.

His assertion that he had decided to sue Associated because “if the most influential newspaper company can evade justice… the whole country is doomed”. The statement continued: “I am bringing this claim because I love my country and I remain deeply concerned by the unchecked power, influence and criminality of Associated. The evidence I have seen shows that Associated’s journalists are criminals with journalistic powers which should concern every single one of us. The British public deserve to know the full extent of this cover-up and I feel it is my duty to expose it.”

Wow. Just a reminder that this is a statement by a royal prince in documents to the High Court – not a barb thrown out by some bloke in the pub. And he was there, in the flesh, to hear his words read out.

It may be that it shows, as the Mail attests, that he is obsessed. But it surely merits reporting. Apparently not on page one. Only one title – the i – had any mention of the case or Harry’s allegations on the cover, and that as a small puff. The Times had a new portrait of the King, the Telegraph told readers that Charles would be dining with his cousins in Germany. Even the Guardian was too busy with its mea culpa on its founder’s links to slavery.

Most papers ran page leads inside, although the i and The Times did not mention the alleged pact with its stablemates at News Group Newspapers (the Sun and News of the World’s parent company) or Harry’s explanation of why he was suing. As to the two titles whose owners have paid out millions in hacking damages to prevent hundreds of other cases going to court: the Mirror managed five paragraphs in a small single on the royals knowing about hacking; the Sun nothing.

And the Mail? Not a word of those key elements from the Harry witness statement. Instead, it led its spread on its own statement, building on the private investigator’s recantation, with a panel on the side with his “point by point” rebuttals of the claims against Associated. It’s one thing to get your retaliation in first, but this took one-sided reporting to another level.

Harry’s next action, which he watched by video-link, started on 25 April to take on the Sun, which – like the Mail – has always denied phone-hacking. This time his central claim was even more sensational: that News Group Newspapers owners had paid Prince William “a very large sum of money” as part of a private settlement to stop him suing for hacking.

This time the story made the splash for the Guardian and for the Telegraph, which “understood” that the figure was about £1 million. But its headline wasn’t the ‘Prince’s £1m phone hacking deal’ you might have expected, but that the claim had “left Coronation peace hopes in tatters”. There was, however, a spread inside as well, which was more than anyone else did.

The Times had a page lead and the Express a chunky story on its Coronation spread. But the Mail had just a small single-column on page 10 that started “Prince Harry has dragged William into his war on the British press”. The Sun and the Mirror ran nothing. Royal developments deemed worthy of front-page coverage included a chocolate bust of the King and his resistance to having Heathrow’s Terminal 5 named after him.

There was more interest the next day, after the judge said he was troubled by “factual inconsistencies” in Harry’s story, with more prominent coverage, including a small story in the Mirror (albeit on a different angle) and an early righthand page lead in the Mail.

As with the case against the Mail, third day coverage was more limited – the angle this time being actor Hugh Grant’s claim that stars’ homes were burgled at the Sun’s behest. For the third successive day, the case made the front of the Guardian, a page lead for The Times – and not a single word in the Sun. The Mail may have skewed coverage of its own case for the defence, but at least it was there. The Sun, whose lawyers wanted the case dismissed as out of time, just pretended it wasn’t happening and ignored it altogether.

Harry’s next homecoming was what the Mail called his “blink and you’ve missed it” trip for the Coronation. He may have gone back to California swiftly after the ceremony, but he hadn’t finished with the courts. For just under a week later, on 10 May, a third case started – against Mirror Group Newspapers. And this time it wasn’t a preliminary hearing, but a proper trial, expected to last seven weeks. Harry wasn’t in court for the opening speeches, but was lined up to give evidence, possibly for as long as three days, in June.

The two key features of the first day was MGN’s admission of, and apology for, a single instance of illegal information gathering – by the People – that it said was worthy of compensation, and the assertion by lawyer David Sherborne that it was “inconceivable” that Piers Morgan was unaware of phone-hacking under his editorship. This claim had been made in one of the previous cases and was, indeed, the subject of two identical Guardian front page headlines.

Morgan – a former Editor of the News of the World and the Daily Mirror who now presents a show on Rupert Murdoch’s Talk TV and writes a column for the Sun – had (coincidentally?) just recorded an interview with the BBC’s Amol Rajan in which he was asked about hacking on his watch. He said he didn’t know how to hack a phone (even though he had written about it in his autobiography and is reported to have explained how to do it to a Tony Blair aide), and that he was unaware that hacking had been going on at his papers. He also declared that he wasn’t going to take lectures on privacy from Harry and Meghan, who had, he said, constantly invaded the Royal Family’s privacy.

What did our papers make of all that? Apart from the Guardian, only the i and Telegraph had anything on the front, in each case a puff. The i took the ‘Morgan knew’ line, while the Telegraph went with ‘Morgan mocks Duke’. The FT had the earliest inside coverage with a five-column page two story headlined “Mirror accused of industrial scale illegality”. Everyone else pushed the story back as far as they dared. The Sun, Express, Mirror and Star all went on the apology, while The Times and Mail both majored on the defence line that stories Harry claimed were the result of hacking had in fact been fed to journalists by members of his family and royal courtiers.

As for declarations of interest, The Times mentioned Morgan’s current role with Talk TV and listed Harry’s other cases against the press, but did not note that News Group Newspapers shared its ultimate ownership by News Corp. The Mail also mentioned its own case in its coverage. The Sun did not say that it, too, was being sued by Harry. The Express quoted a Mirror spokesman as saying “MGN is now part of a very different company” but did not add that that company was Reach, owners of the Express (and Star).

Only the Guardian, The Times and Mail bothered to print anything about day two of this trial, when Sherborne told the court that Morgan “lies at the heart” of the claims. The Times and Mail both led on the Mirror contentions that stories put down to hacking might have been leaked by a palace aide or the result of an interview with Harry. The Guardian went on Morgan “approving” the illegal blagging of Prince Michael of Kent’s bank details. The reporter allegedly given the assignment was Gary Jones, now Editor of the Express. The Times and Mail did not include this in their stories; the Express ran nothing on the case that day.

But nobody reads print newspapers any more. Dead tree news is dead. People get their news online. So what about live coverage on the day the Mirror trial started?

Broadcasters featured it prominently; independent websites ran live feeds. The Times, FT, Independent, Guardian and Telegraph all had it among the top four stories online. But scroll as far as you could on the Sun, Mail and Mirror home pages and you would find not a word. Click on the ‘royals’ or ‘celebrities’ tabs and you’d find Kate and George and Charlotte and Sophie, and more Sussex bad-mouthing, but nothing on the trial. Only by searching ‘Harry and High Court’ did the Mail offer agency reports of the case on a page called ‘wires’, which has no tab or link from the home page. This is what you call burying bad – or inconvenient – news.

By day 45 of this little snapshot, not one single national newspaper had presented to its readers a full and fair account of any of the proceedings in the High Court.

The Times and Telegraph came closest, but the rest were either partisan, deliberately blind or uninterested. The Guardian, which of course uncovered and doggedly pursued the phone-hacking scandal from 2009 and blew the whole thing open with its Milly Dowler bombshell in 2011, played the cases up, while most of the others tried to play them down.

When you have such high-profile litigants taking on the country’s biggest news brand – actually accusing its journalists of being criminals – it is worthy of proper attention. When you have a royal prince claiming that the heir to the throne accepted £1 million in hush money to stop him taking the second-biggest news brand to court, it is worthy of proper attention. When you have the King’s son accusing one of the country’s most prominent television presenters of overseeing industrial scale law-breaking, it is worthy of proper attention.

There are those who accuse the British press of a culture of omertà, a reluctance to acknowledge, let alone confront, malpractice within the ‘club’, even by rivals. They will be able to cite the Harry coverage in support of that complaint. Regardless of whether they are right, this widespread refusal to face challenges to our industry is troubling. But more so is the fact that it raises the question: if reporting of these cases is so unreliable, what does it say about what we are served on everything else?

Meanwhile, the vilification of Harry and his wife continues apace. The day after the Coronation, the anti-Brexit author Edwin Hayward tweeted that he had logged more than 100 negative stories about the couple on the Express website in the space of 72 hours.

These papers know full well that the press has hounded Harry since boyhood and that he blames the tabloids for the death of his mother. But now they brush all that aside as ‘other people’ and ‘all in the past’. It is absolutely in all of their interests to discredit the prince as he stands up to them in court – and they are doing their damnedest to avoid letting their readers know why.

This is an extract from ‘Royal Reporting: The Media and the Monarchy’ edited by John Mair and Andrew Beck. It will be published by MGM Books on 1 June