#“what do you MEAN you can get in LEGAL TROUBLE for having a political opinion??”

[augustsappho]

Goldsmiths Centrists and Palestine: How To Ignore A Genocide - by August Sappho

On some unfortunate Tuesday in October 2023, I was sat shoving a piping hot cheese toastie down my throat in between morning lectures and sat idly with 2 other people in the refectory. Creative Arts students I'd met in the freshers chat who, whenever I had tried to share the contents of my lectures excitedly, had shut me down on the basis of politics being complicated and uncomfortable table talk. Desperate to make friends and coming from a family of people who typically get headaches at the dinner table caused by my ramblings and ravings, I understood and obliged; after all, I want to build bridges, not be the scary monster underneath them. That is until the curious question of Palestine came up, and I stayed quiet. Surely, these self-proclaimed apolitical progressives would be sensible. “I just think it’s all so complicated, really! People need to read up more before they come to broad conclusions!*” Yes, they absolutely should. What a rational take to have formed in the face of a sudden media flurry. In my own opinion, education, and more importantly, history, is the cornerstone of enriching one's ideas and understanding. The same way you use butter in a stew, and like butter, the professionals use a lot of it. And, like butter, it fattens me up, nourishes me and brings me a great deal of comfort. 

Mid-way through the summer term, I was struck by pure delight that I am living in a time where I can access any and every book I could ever dream of accessing either via the internet or a library or simply buying it. I sit, live and breathe in a country where the tuition fees are, yes, expensive but far from American and where people take great risks on their whole lives just to brush it with their fingertips, arm outstretched over a chasm of hope. Unfortunately, my table mates had decided not to utilise any of this incredibly accessible research and immediately followed their statements up by berating and shaming a lecturer in the media department for wearing a pro-Palestine jumper. They alluded very heavily that he should face some sort of consequence or simply not be allowed to wear it. After all, what does Palestine have to do with Creative Arts?  I continued chewing very slowly and very tense. I did think about saying something but decided against it. Months later, I blew up at them because these same apolitical progressives had one too many times scoffed, played devil's advocate and questioned people, including myself, into an uncomfortable corner over political meet-ups, rallies and open letters. Questioning tactics, phrasing, aims to no avail beyond being arseholes - have we tried just being really super duper nice to management guys? I almost laughed when I’d seen one of them had started learning Hebrew out of the blue on Duolingo.

Unfortunately, those self-proclaimed progressives aren't anything new at Goldsmiths University of London. It has a real troubling culture of letting people only engage in what they are comfortable with and not think much beyond that. Gay rights are legal in this country and, therefore, not controversial and, consequently, easy to support. Racism is illegal in this country and, therefore, not controversial to speak up against and easy to publicly oppose. Feminism has had many successful waves here, and so it is not out of the ordinary to call yourself a feminist (without being able to explain much theory behind any of what makes these ideas up or what distinguishes them). Unfortunately, these are also easy things you can add to your social media bios with no further thought, with the sole intent of virtue signalling and repelling conservatives online. While I am grateful for all these comforts and people's ability to declare themselves as such openly, they are often done on a very face-value level and do not always mean you're a particularly good anti-racist or a good ally or a good feminist. They often trick people who have done their homework into a false sense of security. No,they use these words in a way where the thinking has been done for them. You do not have to fight; you just have to pick the glaringly obvious option. They do not have to form moral opinions on the suffragettes bombing mailboxes, the Stonewall Riots or violent plantation liberation attempts from the likes of John Brown. They can simply sit and enjoy the luxury of not ever having to deal with the hard-hitting stuff and pretending they would have come to those conclusions anyway. 

Palestine, then, has acted as an axe, splitting whole student bodies around the world into two general camps. Between those who will occupy, sign letters, donate money, raise hell in the name of justice. In the name of what is good. Between those who will learn and listen and between those who will rattle on the same few talking points, claim to see both sides and claim things are just oh-so-complicated when they simply are not. Those who swear themselves by ideals of liberty and freedom and yet cannot muster a grain of sympathy to fight for those who have none. Those who will even go to the extent of the disenfranchisement of their peers and bullying if it means maintaining close contact with their comfort zones, and Palestine makes them very uncomfortable indeed—hearing chants and seeing flags and skirting around the videos of the bodies and the rubble, having to relocate your lecture or walk past a very obvious liberated zone. It makes it an unavoidable topic, puts politics in the face of those self-proclaimed progressives, and asks them, “Do you care enough to make a change?”. And the answer is a simple no. Instead of engaging with the reading they promised themselves publicly as a show of intellect, they choose to occupy their hours sending secret complaints to the warden, huff in frustration at marking boycotts, and get uncomfortable while swearing they're involved in all this and fully supporting it. Yet following lists, open letter signatures, and the things they mutter to each other paint a different picture. It is as if they know they are on the wrong side. They look left and right to see predominantly white middle-class faces like their own and prime ministers of conservative governments and think of it as some bizarre coincidence. They know they are wrong not to be reading, learning or keeping up to date which is why they maintain their opinions and feign progress until they are awkwardly called out or the simplest of questions peels off the scab.

“It’s [the occupation of the library] hindering students who have every right not to join the protest to do well in their end-of-year assignments!”—a message sent by one of the beloved October centrists. In a conversation that blew up into me confronting them for how they have treated several people, they hammered in that the student occupation of the library was unfair on themselves personally and other students like them. However, the occupation wasn't situated anywhere near the exam rooms nor on an exam day and was solely in the bottom floor front section of the library, where students are allowed to make as much racket as they want already, and people frequently do group projects there for this explicit reason. Anyone who has been to any library knows the bottom floor is always designated as the loud floor, and the higher up you go, the quieter it gets. Our library is quite impressive in size, so while unavoidable on the ways in and out, once you are inside, it was never going to be hard to find a spot to block them out. They did not know this, however, as it had never impacted them beyond hypotheticals in their head, and their argument wasn't dependent on having actually kept their eyes on what students were doing but rather finding anything to scream inconvenience at. All I could think was how funny that a student occupation of a library could be deemed as some unforgivable act because it impacts them directly, but a genocidal occupation in which their university has a hand in just isn't worth the time of day. The warden herself referred to the library occupation as something that ‘threatened’ students.

Let me conclude them with a different quote from the fictional Robin Swift from R.F. Kuang’s ‘Babel’ whose words perfectly encapsulate this ordeal.

“Across the town, students were fast asleep. Next to them, tomes by Plato and Locke and Montesquieu waited to be read, discussed, gesticulated about; theoretical rights like freedom and liberty would be debated between those who already enjoyed them, stale concepts that, upon their readers’ graduation ceremonies, would promptly be forgotten. That life, and all of its preoccupations, seemed insane to him now; he could not believe there was ever a time when his greatest concerns were what colour neckties to order from Randall’s, or what insults to shout at houseboats hogging the river during rowing practice. It was all such frippery, fluff, trivial distractions built over a foundation of ongoing, unimaginable cruelty.”

*the first conversation is paraphrased as best as I can remember it, as I do not record my conversations with people

[composeregg]

disclaimer: I am a volunteer for the OTW. I am speaking for myself, not on behalf of the organization, anything expressed here is my own. I may be wrong about some things, I'm very much not involved in any of this as part of my work. Additionally, I haven't run this by anyone else in the org, so take that as you will. I'm just a person, hoping to reassure other people, fans like myself.

A few people have come to me asking questions about this, and asking clarification already, so I just.... Want to reassure everyone. A lot of people follow me and know I volunteer, even if I don't talk about it much.

No, Ao3/OTW is not endorsing AI. Scraping is not being allowed or encouraged (you can, in fact, see here in this link, the code of Ao3 disallowing scraping). There is only so much the organization can do to prevent this. If you set your works to logged-in users only, it does somewhat give more protections. Data miners are very proactive, and prevention measures can only do so much. After the data is harvested, with or without consent, it is that much harder to pry back and out of those hands.

Many, MANY people are panicking. They saw an excerpt of an interview in this week's OTW Signal news roundup. This interview was from someone on the legal team of the OTW. She was speaking not for the organization, but as someone with credentials in the fields being discussed. Much of this has been misinterpreted and relayed second-hand. It was a conversation primarily about trademarks and AI.

I don't know the course the OTW is going to take regarding AI with the law, myself. That's not my field whatsoever. I can say, how would we even have the TIME or ABILITY to "develop an AI to be integrated with AO3" as some people speculate? It took our volunteer coders years to work out a block/mute function and get it from idea through testing to implementation.

The OTW does not want to just feed everyone's fanfic into AI. The organization may end up taking a middle-ground stance on the legality of AI and AI-generated creations. I don't think that Disney would care much for the distinction between "This is an AI generated item infringing on our trademark, remove it" versus "This is a fan-made item infringing on our trademark, remove it." The legality of AI versus fan creations is a very tricky topic, and from my understanding, that was the focus of the interview and what was being discussed (along with some other ideas).

Protecting the right to fanfiction and fan creations existing is the primary goal, and navigating new, emerging technologies that could find similar arguments, whether or not people at the org agree with them, means they may end up protecting them somewhat. This is not a betrayal of fandom. Every volunteer is an individual, and opinions within the org are all over the place, but we are all fans as well, and we don't want random bots just lifting all our fics and creations without any say-so either.

The topic of AI is a landmine right now, and I do think it was insensitive and ignorant of the current fandom/political sphere to highlight something like that interview, especially in the way it was done. It immediately led to panic, distrust in the org, and people spinning off numerous infeasible ideas because they simply do not have information, and hear rumors or don't parse a conversation about legalese well (I know I had trouble with it! A lot of my understanding comes from reading discussion about it myself). Nuance is important, as is the fact that nothing is ever published or discussed in a vacuum.

I don't blame anyone for having misinformation, I get it. It can be hard to find correct info. Transparency is something the org is not always great at (it's being worked on! Everyone is aware it's an issue! We are just very,,,,, very slow at implementing changes, as a volunteer-run organization). Time is the OTW's most valuable resource, and we are constantly, constantly in demand and in need of more time and manpower. It can make communications difficult, and very stressing.

The OTW is a non-profit, it is not selling any data. It does not want to sell your data. The money it makes is solely from donations. There is not going to be any selling to AI, there is not going to be any attempt to implement AI for the OTW itself.

Honestly, beyond that, I'm super not qualified to talk about the legal aspects of everything in the article/interview. I don't know all the inner workings of the org, I don't know all the thoughts and opinions and legal stances. I don't even know all the nuances of AI legal issues myself. I just know that I don't think it can replace creativity, and that it could be a fascinating tool in a better world (but I do not trust how it could be used here and now).

I hope this helps anyone who sees it. I hope that this is a reassurance, and that maybe it will help people feel better. I know panic is a powerful force, and I know there is a great distrust in any organization even mentioning AI (usually for valid reasons!). I know information can be hard to find, and legal discussions hard to read, I've been there with the org myself.

But the OTW is a group of people trying their best to make sure that fandom has protections. There are like, a thousand of us or something. Not all of us are going to agree on everything, but we all agree fans deserve a space to create and have those creations protected. One of the inciting incidents of its founding was a hatred of the idea of some company trying to profit off of fanworks with complete disregard for the fans themselves.

The OTW was founded to prevent fans from being taken advantage of, and to protect fandom's right to exist. It is never going to betray that core tenet. Partially because we're all fans ourselves and have a vested interest in keeping it that way, but additionally: This organization is nothing without its volunteers, and if someone high up on the board or something genuinely tried, we would know and we would make ourselves known.

(Just look into the Board Election of 2015!)

[feral-radfem]

confession: i have a denim jacket full of radfem and lesbian patches and pins which is really cool. but i also have a little trans rights pin on there because i’m scared of being attacked in public for being a ‘terf’. i’ve heard stories of women being assaulted for being deemed a rad fem even when sometimes theyre not and this is ‘progressive’. i’m scared of the comments on posts saying vile and violent things to do to us and its congratulated. i’ve seen comments saying that basically lesbian means terf as this point and feminism is a huge red flag. i’m ashamed but i wear a trans rights pin because i am scared for my life.

I wouldn't wear that jacket to a gay event or bar. Or really any leftist space offline but everywhere else you should be able to get by without the trans rights pin.

Almost all the stories about radfems getting assaulted were at radical feminist events or at gay events not just wearing their merch down the street. Most people won't recognize it as radical feminist patches and the ones that do you can generally get away with feigning ignorance. So while I can understand your fear it is most likely not realistically proportional to the actual threat.

The reason we see the vilest and most outrageous behaviors and opinions on the Internet is because the internet doesn't have a way for us to hold one another accountable for our actions. Real life does. Which is why you don't see these tra types out in public acting the way they do online most the time. One of the few exception to this is when they are in a big group together and believe that group will protect them from the consequences of their own actions. Though, even then it's unlikely that they're actually going to do something that could get them in legal trouble.

Homophobia is nothing new and neither is a majority of the population having anti-feminist perspectives and misogynistic behaviors. Yet, like many of our fore mothers, most of us will not be attacked over these things. Not that it never happens, but it doesn't happen so often that it should be a realistic fear making it to where we don't feel safe to go outside wearing identifiers. Like I said, I can understand why you feel scared but the chances of you being physically hurt are slim.

Do what you feel you must, but remember your mental health is just as important as your physical health. If this is causing so much personal shame or even paranoia, simply don't wear the jacket. You don't need to be physically marked for everyone and feminism is more about the actions you do than the proclamations made in its name. Do good by women. The jacket, while cool, is insignificant.

I think it would also do you well to recognize that while your jacket is full of feminist messages, the trans flag being on there will immediately make any radical feminist who sees it assume that your definition of women is not "adult human females". You will be identified to us in public as a libfem trying to apply radical feminist praxis to males. Your cool jacket, in the end, will just confuse everyone; TRAs and Radfems alike.

It seems like you have like two chooses: You can either wear it and stand by what you believe in by making a display of your support for radical feminism or you can choose to not wear it and still do good radical feminist action but honestly mixing the two messages just seems like a lose-lose situation for everyone. You're not even expressing who you truly are and it certainly isn't getting translated correctly to anyone who looks at your jacket.

The fact is is that the clothing we wear when it has a message, whether that message is political or not, is an invitation for a conversation/debate about that topic. You seem not to want to have radical feminist conversations in real life so I would simply not wear the jacket, and I don't mean this last bit harshly, but your jacket also will look far less cool if you're insecure about it. So my advice to you is just to make your choice and live with it. It's what we all have to do at the end of the day.

I hope whatever you choose works out for you, genuinely.

[hintsofhoney]

alright, *cracks fingers*. so. I’ve written up a transcript just to lay it all out for myself and get the most important parts. listen, everyone. for all intents and purposes and legal reasons, THIS WAS A DREAM. alright? I dreamt this. and he is literally the nicest human being ever so I don’t want to just like... put our whole convo out there like that, but I think he said some stuff that was important for people to hear so... here we go

my *dreamt* zoom call with thee crowley below the cut

The first five minutes (of my dream) was just a bunch of introduction stuff and talking about my favorite Supernatural seasons which eventually led to him telling me how they filmed the Season 8 finale (which they did over the span of three days, and in between takes the crew members were like dead silent, as to keep the moment going, which Mark thought was really cool. Said it was one of his favorite things they did on Supernatural.) Anyways, he eventually asked me if I had any questions, so, I’ll start there.

MARK: So, do you have any questions you want to ask me about aaaaaannyyyythingggg? 

ME: Um, I guess the number one thing I wanna know… um, so, I know you can’t speak for Dean and I don’t want to talk about Dean because you’re not Jensen, but, there’s like a lot of questions I guess or subtext or whatever concerning Dean’s sexuality and what not, but I want to know about demon Dean and Crowley’s relationship and if there was, I don’t know, anything like, any implied –

MARK: Well I think – I think you’re talking about… there’s a massive difference between sex and love. There’s a massive difference between, um, well, they can intertwine perfectly, that’s not the issue, but I mean you would believe with all the things that Crowley did for the Winchesters, that he was – that he very much loved Sam and Dean or loved who they are or what they are. To reduce it to, you know, a crush, or to something that – I mean, I don’t know, I think Crowley is very probably pansexual more than anything else; I don’t think anything phased him. I think, that’s why the whole stuff with Lucifer and licking the floor was kind of really stupidly boring for me because Crowley did weirder and crazier things on his own. I mean, it became this joke of trying to humiliate somebody who can’t be humiliated. There’s nothing you can humiliate Crowley with. So, that never sort of made sense, that was just a sort of writer’s glitch of thinking, “oooh, this would be funny to knock him down into subservience” and that’s what he does on a Wednesday, I mean it’s like the most un-inspiring thing. I think so much is projected onto the relationship between, certainly the four main characters, um, and, you know, look, getting comfortable with one’s sexuality and one’s identity is a massively complicated things, and if you want to live vicariously through what you believe people’s identity is and you can relate to that, great!  Who cares? I mean, can I be absolutely honest? Apart from – what I do care about, you know, don’t ever take this and piece me or misquote it, because it’s very, very specific – um, somebody stopping somebody being able to express their own identity or whatever is an issue for me. That will always be an issue for me. Um, we should all be treated equally, and we all have the rights to believe and follow those things that we wish to follow, but to project relationships onto characters is an odd thing to do. I mean, it’s wishful thinking in a lot of ways, I mean, actually it’s quite… it’s quite reasonable because in the past if you think about it, if you ask your parents or anyone else, the only way sexuality was used was to, uh, literally demonize somebody. It was only ever used to say somebody was bad because this who they’re in love with. You know, that’s, that’s the thing. And it’s a massive change in the world that we’re moving towards, I should say, uh – a lack of consequence for who one loves, apart from the obvious consequences of human nature. You know, political consequences for who one loves – I’ve just watched Pete Butteigieg being, you know, sitting in congress with his husband there with him; that’s the first time that’s ever happened in United States congress and I’m so proud of that. Not just because the man is gay and happily married – that’s not even the issue for me, it’s because he’s the best man for the job and one of the smartest people on the planet. You know, it’s like using sexual templates, as they were, or gender templates as they are, or orientation templates as they are, we always use to disclude people from things. They were always used to discriminate. You know, labeling somebody was a way of discrimination. And where as labels are very important, to ones self, and they’re very important politically and they’re very important socio-economically and they’re very important in all those aspects, I yearn for a time when nobody gives a damn. I really do. But I mean, we have to go through so much to get there. I mean, let’s be honest, you can’t, you know, right the wrongs of hundreds of years of oppression in 20 minutes by saying, “let’s all move forward”. It just doesn’t work that way, it never has. But there’s a responsibility there, that if you’re going to represent, that you represent all. That you don’t just represent you. So, one has to be careful with a television program or, or, you know, Misha or myself, or, not speaking for the boys, but just generally, um, you have to be careful that what you advocate is inclusive, not disinclusive. Not excluding people... and it’s so hard to frame these conversations, that they’re equitable, it’s so hard to do that. And so, you know, we spend years pointing out the inequity and the injustice and the unfairness of the whole situation, and… I don’t know if the trick is to rise above, or, uh, maybe it’s as simple as love and coming together as a human race and make it very difficult for people to discriminate and exclude based on gender, race, color, religion, any of the subsets of humanity that we’ve decided we have. So, I think personal responsibility is the most important thing, but if one is in a position of power on a TV show, you got to remember what you’re representing, that you have a, you know, you have to cover all or cover none. So, you know, but if you stick to a story and you have a story about a person or two people and their journey, that’s shining light on things. If you try to advocate for all, I think it becomes a little more complicated. Does that make sense?

so, i just feel like he said some important things there, but like I also don’t really understand what he’s getting at really, y’know? oh! also, he didn’t watch the finale lmao 

also! there’s this:

MARK: Because if you come down on one side or another, you’re admitting the sides, and that has its own political ramifications. If you push the ball up in the air and say, “you decide”, I don’t think that’s copping out. I think that’s, maybe not fulfilling everybody’s expectations, or not fulfilling everybody’s hopes, but at least you’re getting the question asked. You know, at least you’re getting the question asked. At least people are relating to it and going, “well, what if?”. Because it’s all “what if”, I mean, it’s a TV show, so it’s “what if”, you know? It’s not Misha being in love with Jensen, I mean as much as he loves Jensen, I don’t think that’s his thing – I mean you never know – but I’m saying yet again, I don’t exclude anything from anybody (I LITERALLY CAN’T BELIEVE HE SAID THIS LMAO). But to force my opinion or my identity belief upon a situation has a cost. It may be right, it may be absolutely right, and it may be necessary in many, many cases. But, in that circumstance, I think… there are a lot of people in the world that say that Jesus, for example, was anti-homosexual and that he was – and none of that is true, and none of that is provable in the New Testament, and I’m not talking about Leviticus and I’m not talking about early Bible and I’m not talking about the fact that more than 25,000 words have been changed in the King James edition and all of this stuff, but these things that people hold so sacred, the confusion that arises from that is being told that a man loving a man or a woman loving a woman or a man loving a man and a woman or whatever combination being there is either right or wrong because you’re being told by a pastor or the leaders of your church, is a very difficult thing to break down. I think what you have to do is at least put it out there so it’s visible, and so it becomes less and less deniable. And you know, people change over years, that’s the trouble with youth, is shit doesn’t move fast enough. “I need a decision now!”, and unfortunately, when you’re dealing with centuries of prejudice and centuries of un-enlightenment, I think that sometimes the best thing to do is reach as many people as possible and pose the question. And sometimes it’s essential to make a statement, absolutely, no question. It is essential to make a stand, in some circumstances. But to polarize a TV show, can be very disingenuous to those who need to go ask their own questions, who need to go say, “well, where does Jesus say this is wrong?” you know, if that’s your beliefs.

he also said, when we went off on a tangent about doom patrol:

MARK: There are issues that are being addressed here [on Doom Patrol] that are not being addressed on other shows, and yet again, we have the format, and I don’t know that Supernatural ever had the format because it was on the CW.

anywho, in conclusion, fuck the cw.

also, again, for all intents and purposes this was a dream I had :)))))))

[peach-astrology]

Saturn in the houses

Saturn in the first house:

1)Such people strive to always behave with dignity,taking responsibility and showing enviable seriousness and endurance in their work.They never speak or act without a specific purpose.

2)Tend not to open aggression,but to intrigue,always seek to repay the enemy and defeat him "after a fight".

3)These people may have dry skin,cheekbones,or a drooping eyelid.

4)He may have been underestimated as a child and given little love or attention.

5)He is very strict with himself,may suffer from depression or low self-esteem.

Saturn in the second house:

1)I notice that this position gives a heavy burden in finances.A person can earn good money,but in his life there may be cases when they urgently need to spend it.

2)Most of all,he does not like to borrow or lend,and if this happens,the subject tries to restore the monetary balance by all means.

3)With bad aspects gives greed

4)Often he spends his childhood in a poor family,and therefore in mature years he tries to hyper-compensate for this,making the accumulation of material values his only goal.They are not afraid of any work.

5)You distribute your opportunities correctly and are a good employee.

Saturn in the third house:

1)Sometimes indicates problems with speech.

2)Brothers and sisters can be people with a difficult fate and a difficult character.They will play an important role in a person's life.

3)He shares with other people only those ideas that are fully formed and in the effectiveness of which he is one hundred percent sure.

4)They are good at math,because they are very practical.For them convenience and quality are more important than luxury.

5)His entourage may include influential people,or those with whom he has been friends for several years.They are very selective(including themselves)

Saturn in the fourth house:

1)He feels inconveniences associated with housing.This may be too small space,poor living conditions,lack of a separate room,the need to tolerate the presence of unpleasant people and obey their rules.

2)At home,it can be authoritarian,controlling,and tough.It is important for him that everyone in the family obeys his rules and regulations.

3)Their work may be related to real estate,such as construction or architecture.In any case,they will have a good home in their adult life.

4)I especially recommend that you sort out your childhood problems.Saturn requires you to understand his lessons,otherwise the severity and pain from them will be for the rest of your life.

5)Such a person could be the main one among all children in childhood.

Saturn in the fifth house:

1)May be afraid to perform on stage or answer in class,he doesn’t like to be the center of attention.

2)He is a good parent(but you need to look at the aspects),he teaches children discipline and accuracy and gives advice for the future.

3)They don’t talk openly about their feelings,and if they do,it is rarely and in private with you.

4)Their child can be a very hard-working and educated.

5)Such a person may not be aware of some of their talents.Try as many hobbies as possible please.

Saturn in the sixth house:

1)A great owner,think carefully and weigh your options before you get an animal at home.

2)They rarely change their place of work,they are more comfortable when everything around them is familiar.

3)The harmonious aspects of Saturn with other planets help a person maintain health until old age.

4)It is difficult for the owner of a weak Saturn to gather,concentrate and quickly complete the mountain of work assigned to him.

5)Please do not invent diseases for yourself,it is better to go to the doctor,most of your problems are due to lack of sleep.

Saturn in the seventh house:

1)Can be too selective in relationships,and this delays his marriage.He is looking for a partner who is honest,fair,hard-working and purposeful.Most often,his choice falls on a person more mature and wise than he is.

2)With good aspects and a sign of the planet,their spouse has a high social status,a good financial situation and has real estate.

3)It is pleasant to argue with him,he competently conveys his thoughts and opinions.Such a person can succeed in contractual and legal activities.

4)They have excellent artistic abilities and good taste.

5)The harmonious aspects of Saturn contribute to the appearance of useful acquaintances and the establishment of promising connections and contacts with others.The intense aspects of Saturn in the 7th house with other planets tell not only about the difficult nature of the partner,but also the many difficulties in the relationship with him.

Saturn in the eighth house:

1)In the family and at work,he is trusted to plan and manage finances.

2)Such a person tries to avoid risks and non-standard situations related to money.Has a habit of investing funds,even at a small interest rate,but in a reliable bank.

3)In bad aspects,a person is dependent on someone else's opinion.

4)They may have trouble sleeping,such as nightmares.

5)Such people really change their appearance for the better every year.

Saturn in the ninth house:

1)Teachers at school can be too strict with them,often underestimate their grades.

2)Knowledge should bring him practical benefits,so such a person tries to determine in advance how promising this area of training is.Practice is important to him.

3)Before making a serious decision and changing their scientific,philosophical or religious views,a person will weigh all the arguments for and against several times.

4)Harmonious aspects make a person successful in studies and effective in any activity related to foreigners and involving contacts with them.

5)Stressful aspects indicate the troubles and hardships that can accompany a person abroad.This is also one of the indications of problems with the law.

Saturn in the tenth house:

1)Such a person may feel the total control and distrust of adults from childhood,as well as suffer from constant adjustment of their actions by their elders.

2)From an early age,such people are used to carrying a lot of responsibility on their shoulders.As a rule,they are entrusted with the most difficult and painstaking work.

3)They make demanding managers,but their superiors are rarely sympathetic to them either.

4)With good aspects - high position,with bad - oblivion of principles,public scandal.

5)Your father is a copy,a model of what unfolds later in your life around the topic of authority.

Saturn in the eleventh house:

1)Their friends are older than them.

2)Their attention may be drawn to politics,social movements,cultural,charitable and educational events.At the same time,its activities are not entertainment,but purely business,serious.

3)Such people,as a rule,believe that collective work contributes to the spiritual growth and development of any person.

4)You are afraid that your father didn't really love you,so as an adult,you feel the presence of love when people treat you with authority.

5)Romance may appeal,but you don't trust it.What you crave is security,tangible support,and reliable love.

Saturn in the twelfth house:

1)Such a person can work hard,but the results of his work don’t become public.

2)Rest really helps with most of their illnesses.Stress causes them to instantly lose their immunity.

3)Such people don’t tolerate haste and fuss around them.They are very calm.

4)With bad aspects,a person has a lot of intrigues and betrayals in life.

5)With good aspects,a person has a rich spiritual world and a love of art(maybe even a hidden talent in something)

[potteresque-ire]

Concerning the incredibly far and deep reach of CCP’s propaganda, the narratives the government can spin and call the truth; does ‘the common normal populace’ actually know what’s really going on?

Hello everyone!!! Happy Chinese New Year!!

I’m grouping these asks because if I hear them correctly, they’re all related to this question: how much do people in China know about the atrocities committed by their government, and why don’t they do something about it?

It’s a difficult question, isn’t it? A potentially upsetting one too, just to think about. My answers are more opinion-based, more personal this time. Since there’re no polls about what people know, they have to be based a little more on my own impression, which has more chances of error. Please bear with me and proceed with caution ...

As with people in most countries, what people know is hugely dependent on individuals. Specifically, re: politics, I can think of at least three reasons why people don’t have the facts

1) they have limited access to information 2) they’re being lied to about what they know 3) they’re not interested in current affairs.

1), of course, is what most people think about when it comes to China. You’re right, Anon(s), that VPN use is indeed rampant in the country and is essentially an open secret; there’re no official numbers but surveys have estimated the number of users can be up to 100 million, most of them being youngsters. They use it to do exactly what most of us would imagine: gain access to things they don’t have otherwise. Instagram has been (sporadically?) blocked since 2014 September and so while users may have set up their accounts while being overseas, it’s indeed, (very) possible, that they’ve set up and maintained their account under VPN use.

Wait, you may ask, so you mean the Great Firewall of China doesn’t exist?

That’s exactly the official stance. Not because of private VPN use, but because individuals/companies can apply for a license via their telecommunications company to visit all internet sites. Hence, the government’s claim that the Great Firewall doesn’t exist—you’ll be let through as long as you ask (and we’ll watch your every step)! There are also no explicit laws prohibiting the use of private VPNs; only a handful of arrests associated with private VPN use have been made and only since 2019, and the punishment is considered light—no imprisonment, just fines. It is, in contrast, against the law to *provide* private VPN services, and while companies have been shut down, the crackdown has still been incredibly sluggish by Chinese government’s standards, especially when the Xi regime has made its intention of banning VPN known and directives have been issued for that in 2017.

Why has VPN continued to enjoy this “grey existence”? Because without VPN, a lot of foreign businesses would leave—some, for example, require the most efficient online tools developed outside China to track the foreign markets, and talents have rejected job offers in the country when they realised they couldn’t get on their favourite social media. The science and tech sectors also rely heavily on VPN—programmers relying on Google to search stackoverflow, for example, to find known solutions to bugs. 

VPNs have also served political purposes—Hong Kong, Taiwan, and Chinese Communist Party (CCP)-critical communities all over the world are all painfully aware of the Chinese government’s practice of hiring its own collection of internet commentators (”50 Cent Party”), and at times, mobilising their youths (gamers, fan circles) to scale the Firewall and astroturf, throw insults at the “CCP enemies” and bomb message boards with pro-CCP messages.

Also, a significant fraction of VPN companies, both in China and overseas, have been reported to have Chinese ownership, by companies with government connections. These VPN services provide a false sense of security for those who do not enjoy having big brother peeking behind their backs while acting as surveillance tools that extend beyond the country.

(Please be careful about free VPNs).

The next question: If until now, users of private VPNs only rarely get into trouble, what’s holding them from scaling the Great Firewall and learning the facts?

It is this: the law isn’t about “climbing the wall”, but what one does outside the wall.

Article 6 of the 2016 edition of Cybersecurity law states the following: 

第六条　国家倡导诚实守信、健康文明的网络行为，推动传播社会主义核心价值观，采取措施提高全社会的网络安全意识和水平，形成全社会共同参与促进网络安全的良好环境

Article 6: The State advocates sincere, honest, healthy and civilized network conduct; promoting dissemination of the core socialist values, adopting measures to raise the entire society's awareness and level of network security, and forming a good environment for the entire society to jointly participate in advancing network security.

What this article implies is this ~ legally, Chinese citizens are bound to the Chinese government’s rules of good internet conduct, regardless of whether they use VPN to get on the internet. As with many Chinese laws, however, the vagueness in wording invites more questions than answers. Is it getting on Twitter, a banned website, “sincere, honest, healthy and civilized network conduct”? Obviously, it’s illegal to interact with other users about the Xinjiang’s internment camps, but what if one only goes there to talk about their favourite stars, because on Weibo supertopic they can’t even mention the stars’ name, can’t ahkgkhagjkfaskjgdf about their favourite fics? What if one goes there to discuss a M- or E-rated fic? Where is the line drawn and given its vagueness, will that line move tomorrow? How?

Most people, therefore, have opted to simply stay away from VPN. After all, China offers its own version of many of the fun websites out there (Weibo-Twitter; Instagram-Oasis; Tiktok-Douyin; Youtube-Bilibili). For those who do use VPN, they tend to stick to websites that are unlikely to cause issues (such as Instagram; Instagram became an issue when Hong Kongers started to upload information about the protests on there).

Now, let’s proceed to 2): People don’t know the facts because they’re being lied to about what they know.

There’s a difference between having access to facts and knowing that they’re facts. This is among the most painful lessons, perhaps, for those who followed the politics of the United States in the last few years (please forgive me for the US-centric-ness of the following few paragraphs!). Even with equal access to identical information, people can vary a LOT in their understanding of what are facts and what are lies.

This illustrates the power of propaganda—and propaganda in the US isn’t even centralised. Some media outlets and individuals (political leaders and analysts) have more say on what should be viewed as the truth, but parties without significant power—small foreign and domestic interests, fringe political organisations, conspiracy theorists, regular folks—have also made critical contributions to the “fake news” phenomenon in the US. There haven’t been apparent coordinations between these parties;  little concerted effort has been made to create one coherent story out of the many tales told.

In China, the propaganda effort is centralised, coordinated, free of distractions from competing story lines. The One Story the government decides on is repeated, over and over again, on newspapers, in shows, in textbooks, on signs on the streets, on social media. To put it another way, when it comes to political discourse, the country is designed to be an echo chamber with 1.4 billion people. Over time, the One Stories inevitably become firmly held beliefs—so firmly held that even if the people are exposed to facts, they no longer believe in them.

This is especially true when the source of the facts are countries with strong traditions of freedoms of speech and press, where the facts are often laid out with a critical eye to the administration and with vastly different opinions attached to them. While we view the latter as evidences that the values we embrace are alive and well—a critical eye to the administration means the Fourth Estate is doing its job, and the different opinions means freedom of speech gets to live another day—people who haven’t been exposed to these values tend to interpret these things as signs of weakness of the government. They may think the Chinese government is better than its counterparts elsewhere because no one is penning scathing criticisms against it. They may think the Chinese government is stronger because it unifies the opinions of their people—the failure of which, they’ve been taught, would lead to social chaos and economic free-fall.

The Chinese population has also been “immunised” against the truths that may be exposed about their government by a propaganda talking point used since Chairman Mao’s days—that the “Imperialist” western world, particularly the United States, is always scheming its downfall. The phrase often used is 美帝亡我之心不死 (”The heart (intention) of Imperialist US to bring us down will never die”). Unfavourable truths exposed must therefore be part of the “bring down China” scheme. This decades-old demonisation of the political apparatus of the US and Europe also prepares the people to accept what most would see as outrageous conspiracy theories: for example, in March 2020, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs claimed that the US Army intentionally planted COVID in Wuhan during the 2019 Military World games. “Foreign interference” becomes a frequent and convenient scapegoat for policy decisions gone wrong, sometimes to a (somewhat) hilarious effect ~ for example, a Taiwanese journalist calculated the cost required for the CIA to fund the 2019 Hong Kong Protests, as the Chinese government had claimed—and it turned out that the CIA was too poor to do it. 

(Many of us in the US would probably laugh at the idea that our government is capable of secretly paying 2 million foreign-language speaking strangers to show up together in one march.) (It can’t even get the COVID relief payments to its own people right over a period of months.)

(Fun trivia for turtles! As 美帝=“Imperialist US” is the synonym of a feared, imaginary super-villain—super organised, super efficient, super everywhere and super impossible to take down—c-BJYX, the indestructible No. 1 CP fandom in China, has been nicknamed “美帝 cp” by those not so enamoured with it.)

Finally, there’s the psychological factor. Once a set of beliefs becomes personal truths, listening to alternatives can be very upsetting (for those in the US: imagine the blue voting block made to listen to Fox News). Hence, even when people gain access to the facts later—for example, when they study/work abroad, even emigrate—they often don’t take advantage of the access. Instead, they remain logged in in the Chinese social media sites where they’re comfortable with not only the politics but also the language and the friendships they’ve built, and continue to immerse themselves in an environment heavy with CCP propaganda. They remain defenders of the Chinese government; some have even gone out and harass people who disagree with it, in the name of freedom of speech that their country of origin never offered to them.

Censorship, of course, is an important component of building a One Story echo chamber, and I should add a note about it: censorship in China comes in vastly different strengths. The restrictions on LGBT+ issues, for example, are fairly lax, relatively speaking—“homosexuality” remains a term one can find on their internet and a topic the administration continues to address, and while BL dramas are censored, their adapted versions, along with highly publicised discussions of their original material, have so far been tolerated. The strictest form of Chinese censorship would’ve allowed neither: any mention of the 1989 June 4th Tiananmen Square massacre , for example, is immediately removed, including any hints that the event may have happened. When the former leader of the Chinese government, Jiang Zemin (江澤民), was rumoured to have passed away, the censorship apparatus went so far as to remove all mentions of Jiang, which also happened to mean “large rivers”. Chinese netizens therefore joked that major rivers had ceased to exist in China that day, as one couldn’t find any information about them online.

(LGBT+ activists have therefore remained optimistic about the future of their campaign, despite the current state of affairs. To put it simply: the Chinese government has bigger fish to fry. Sexual minorities haven’t had major clashes with the administration, haven’t embarrassed the Chinese government with their demand for rights as the ethnic minorities—the Uyghurs, the Tibetans, the Mongolians etc did. Political dissidents, including the millions in Hong Kong, are also (far) ahead in the ranking of fish size.)

For most issues, the censorship effort sits somewhere in the middle and is often inconsistent over time. The people, therefore, often have knowledge that an event has happened — even when the event is considered, beyond the Great Firewall, damaging to the reputation of the Chinese government. However, critical information is often missing in their knowledge, or is heavily distorted. For example, overseas Chinese citizens have insisted that the motivation of the 2019 Hong Kong Protests was economic, echoing the longstanding CCP propaganda that Hong Kongers have been jealous of China’s prosperity (reality: China’s GDP per capita was $10,268 USD in 2019, and Hong Kong’s, $48,713—more than 4 times higher). They missed out a critical fact: while the fast economic growth of China has created some unease—Hong Kongers have always known the Chinese government has only tolerated them and their freedoms for their ability to generate wealth—what has truly ignited Hong Kong’s anger is the Chinese government’s violation of the 1984 Sino-British Joint Declaration, and the terms it had agreed upon to get back the then British crown colony. Hong Kong hasn’t been demanding autonomy and freedoms because it’s a troublemaker, but because these things were promised to the city as conditions of the 1997 handover. As residents of the world’s third largest financial centre, Hong Kongers are diligent drafters and executioners of contracts (which international treaties are) and above all, faithful believers of them. For an asker (the Chinese government) to claim a contract as “historical”  because it has received the goods (Hong Kong) and no longer feels a need to pay (allow Hong Kong 50 years of freedoms and autonomy) is offensive to the principle, the very heart and soul of the city. 

(Gg’s former boss was a Hong Konger, and his experience working for him was a rather accurate reflection of Hong Kong’s view on business. What made an impression to Gg—that the posters should be without rips and misprints, even if these imperfections were not the fault of the design company—is a no-brainer to the Hong Konger in me reading the interview. Delivering high quality goods and services isn’t an act of kindness but rather, of professionalism and respect for the contract.)

(This interview is a highly recommended read, for those who’ve missed it!)

(One more example of “conveniently missed critical information”: remember GG’s show on Chongqing? Did you know the underground bombing shelters were not built by the Communist government, but the Nationalist government that was still ruling China during WWII?)

Anyway, where was I?

Right. We’re getting to 3): People are not getting the facts on the political situation in China because they’re not interested in current affairs.

Some—well, many— people are not interested in politics.

Some of you may be thinking: well, I’m not interested either. I follow politics because it’s important.

Why is it important? Because political engagement means you can do something about the many ills of the society, speak for those who cannot, force the government to change by voting, by voicing your opinion, by going to marches and protests etc.

What if you follow politics and still can’t do most of these things? What if, if you do choose to do these things, the price you pay may be astronomical? Will you still follow politics or devote your time, your energy to something else, something you’ve got more control over, something that won’t be as saddening, frustrating because it’s something you can actually change?

3) is therefore intricately related to why people often don’t do anything, even if they manage to find out about the facts.

There’re no national elections in China. Marches and protests are practically banned because while the Chinese Constitution guarantees the freedom of assembly (as it does freedom of speech and press; Article 35), it also explicitly states that "Citizens of the People’s Republic of China, in exercising their freedoms and rights, may not infringe upon the interests of the State, of society or of the collective, or upon the lawful freedoms and rights of other citizens.” (Article 51) — ie. the freedoms and rights only go as far as if they do not stand in the government’s way. Social media and all communications platforms are under constant surveillance, and so only opinions tolerated by the government is allowed... 

And so, the fact, social ill that has broken your heart—you can’t tell for sure if it isn’t talked about because the government has censored it, how many people know about it and more importantly, how many among the people who know about it will agree with your take. If you break your silence and voice your concerns, how many people will have your back, even if you also conceive them as victims of the social ill? If the social ill is the lack of rights of a minority group, for example, will they appreciate your speaking out, or will your “rocking-the-boat” make things even worse for them? A heavily watched net means communications with the oppressed/vulnerable social groups are often filled with obstacles, if not outright impossible. You don’t know how these groups feel; you don’t even know how many affected individuals are there. You watch the and news and shows and they all talk about how wonderfully things are going; how everyone seems so hopeful and positive and happy with their lives—are you the only person feeling that way? Are you wrong? If you speak out then, will you be yelling into the void, or worse, yelling at the police who “invites” you for a chat in the police station? To speak for those who do not have a voice to speak, are you ready, willing to take the risk of also becoming one who no longer has a voice to speak? Is your family ready? 

To put it another way: the opportunity cost of “doing something” about the political situation can be astronomically high in China, compared to the opportunity cost of us doing something similar in our own country. 

If I want to support the LGBT+ population in my part of the US, for example, I can do so effectively with minimal investment and most importantly, with minimal risk. By pasting a rainbow flag on this Tumblr post, for example, I’ve already signalled to those who need support on this issue that I’m ready to give mine. And this “signal” of mine will join the hundreds and thousands on the site, collectively telling the activists doing the “on the ground” fighting that they’re not alone; that they have my vote of support. I pose no danger to myself in doing so; no one will accuse me of, arrest me for infringing upon the interests of the State and the Collective. The rainbow flag, a display of my stance, will not turn into a blurred blob the next time I look at it, transform overnight from a symbol of solidarity to a warning sign to those who may wish to join the cause. There’s no danger for me, even, to carry an actual, huge rainbow flag to Pride, perform my activism in person. I don’t have to worry about my phone already giving away my identity as a protester to the government, especially in post-COVID times. I don’t need to watch out for plain clothes pretending to be my allies. I don’t have to look at the many surveillance cameras present and wonder if I’ll get blacklisted as a troublemaker.

Am I still being tracked and taken pictures of? Possibly. But for this cause, at least, I’m not afraid that these information will be used to arrest me. If I were arrested, I know there'll be lawyers and activists who would come to my aid. LOUDLY. ANGRILY.

I’m not afraid. Period. I’m having fun. And I doubt I can say the same if I try to carry a rainbow flag to Tiananmen square and march there.

This vast difference in the opportunity cost of taking political action is the reason why I’ve refrained from demanding those who live under authoritarian dictatorships to stand up for their neighbours who’ve been oppressed / bullied by their governments. I’ve refrained from criticising them for looking away, minding their own business. Do I wish they’ve take action? Of course I do. Am I aware that their lack of action is potentially more harmful because of the frequent atrocities happening around them? Yes. But I also understand that going on a fight is far more frightening when one doesn’t even have a sense of how many will join their side of the fight; I understand that fighting for what one deserves—freedoms, rights, justice—should never equal martyrdom, and just because a regime has elected to put equal signs between the two doesn’t mean those equal signs should ever be there. I remind myself that, to ask the people in any authoritarian dictatorship to stand up for a political cause is to ask them to make sacrifices that we, as people in relatively free societies, do not need to make when standing up for the same cause. In a country where a father demanding the truth about the milk product poisoning of his own son got jail time for “eliciting social disorder”, to stand up for even a single issue, no matter how small that issue is, requires courage that I’m not sure I have.

I can’t ask anyone to do anything I may not be able to do myself.

And this is why I, too, have chosen to support these people, even if many of them are single-issue activists, even when many support the Chinese government on other issues that matter. For example, the late Dr Li Wenliang, one of the eight COVID whistleblowers in China who passed away from the disease, was an opponent of the Hong Kong Protest, but I still (greatly) appreciate, respect him for what he did. As long as they’re not actively helping the government to cause (more) harm to others, as long as their cooperation with their government falls within what is demanded of them as citizens, they have my support. Why? Because most people who speak out in China cannot afford to stand up for more than one cause before it becomes dangerous for them. Because even if it’s only a tiny vulnerable social group, one small minority that makes a tiny step towards more rights, more freedoms, more justice, it’s still a victory in a country where rights, freedoms and justice are luxury items for those with neither political nor economic power. Because those who’re not part of the ruling class cannot afford to cherry pick their allies, cannot afford to in-fight when the ruling class already holds absolute power. Because I still believe in pay-it-forward, that most people who’ve benefited from someone standing up for them, even for one small incident, one minor cause, is more likely to stand up for someone else.

This is, admittedly, not always an easy choice to make—not for me, at least. I do get frustrated, can’t help but think at times that those who subscribe to and spread propaganda are, to a certain extent, corroborators of the atrocities committed by their government. (So, to those who’ve felt this frustration, you’re not alone!). And the Hong Konger in me has every reason to be furious with everything about China right now—all I could think of, when I listened to Gg singing 異鄉人 Foreigner the other night, are all the Hong Kongers fleeing the city now, as refugees, because of their political beliefs.

But for now, I’m hanging on. I’ve been able to tell myself that given the country’s political reality, given its tradition of collectivism (which tends to view confrontational dissent with scorn), the paths to freedoms, to equal rights and acceptance, will not be the same as what I’ve seen, what I’ve wished for. They’ll likely be slow; They’ll likely be long and winding, taking three steps forward and two steps back; they’d likely be unexpected in places, offer us surprises —

And since it’s Chinese New Year / Valentines and I’m feeling brave (irresponsible?), I’d venture a little bit of speculation and say this ~ yes, I’ve wondered if one of these many paths may be trodden, intentionally or not, by two beautiful male idols and their millions of turtles. Is it wishful, fantastical thinking? I’d be the first to admit the answer is yes. But the BJYX scheme has been so well executed as of now, so effective that I can’t help but wonder if it’s leading towards some sort of a goal, whether devised by the humans involved or by the gods/Fates who, as c-turtles have said so romantically, have been writing an original BL story with our favourite boys. The goal may be personal —simply two people being able to act more like themselves again under the spotlight—or a bit more ambitious…

… Because the sneakers + ice-cream post did catch my attention (will probably have to devote a post on that?). Another small incident that has caught my attention, unrelated to Gg and Dd but can significantly change the path they may be trodding, is this — in June 2020, People’s Daily, the state controlled newspaper, boasted its country’s increasing friendliness towards the LGBT+ communities on Twitter . While the tweet was met with skepticism and soon removed, the message it sent is this: the Chinese government may have figured out the the Western world (in particular, the younger generations) view LGBT+ rights as a measure of progressiveness. While I’m still leaning towards the government maintaining a tight grip on LGBT+ rights within its borders, with the strengthening call to boycott 2022 Beijing Winter Olympics because of the country’s poor human rights record, I can see a glimmer of possibility that the same government may do the unexpected and cater to the queer community for the sake of propaganda.  As I mentioned, the queer community hasn’t caused much headache for the Chinese government, and so it’s far more likely to be chosen as the “benefactors” of such a “we’re a human rights champion too!” propaganda campaign than, say, ethnic minorities and political dissidents. Promoting dissemination of core socialist values has always sat high on the CCP’s agenda list, and its target audience has always included foreign, non-Chinese populations; this effort is known as 大外宣—“The Great External Propaganda”. And who better to cast as leads of an international propaganda campaign on LGBT+ rights than two of its own stars who’ve already demonstrated loyalty to the government, who’ve already garnered international fame from a TV series widely viewed as queer, and who may actually be queer?

(And if—if!!!— this ever happens, may I ask everyone to please consider doing the following? Please do not feel a need to express gratitude. Please do not act as though it’s a gift. Celebrate as you would celebrate anyone in a free country exercising their birthright to live, to love the way they want — no less than that, no more than that.)

(For those who’ve asked ~ as international fans, not allowing the CCP to modify our expectations of how a government should behave may be one of the most effective ways to protect Gg and Dd.)

(I call this learning from the best: get the goods we want (more rights for the people in China), refuse to pay the cost (subscribe to CCP’s propaganda), and RUN! ❤️💛💚)

[pinkchanelbag]

— there’s no one else; chapter two. 

a jean kirstein x reader mafia au.

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series summary: a boy caught in a web with his survival depending on balancing niceties between his predators. a prim girl on thin ice that leads down the path of least resistance. no one too close and no one too far, no allegiance unquestioned, and no child whose value and future goes without evaluation like a playing card that determines their worth. to be destined for big things is more like being doomed to them, but that’s the way it goes. it’s just family matter.

chapter summary: the party begins.

wc: 1.9k.

cw: still nothing lol

note: putting this out short notice cause it’s JEANBOYS BIRTHDAYYY BABYYY anyway enjoy heeheee and my apologies for the slow plot thus far i swear it picks up trust me bro.

the venue is obnoxiously grand. the garden is more akin to a football field than anything else. there is no central lighting, but rather pure white string lights everywhere, everywhere. tucked behind and underneath tables and wrapped around trees and laying in the overhead greenery and in the bushes that act as walls. wherever you look, your eyes are strained, and you’re sure the dining hall can be seen from the moon. 

speaking of the dining hall, the organizers cleverly blocked off the front entrance to the building so that one is forced to walk the expanse of the entire garden—surely to ooh and aah at its elegant taste—in order to get inside through the back door entrance. in other words, having to greet every single member of the family before so much as putting your clutch down. 

you apply a friendly, attentive expression to your face each time pieck stops to greet someone new, having mastered the art of being engaged but not so engaged it’s troublesome, while in reality being completely disengaged in any way. as pieck converses with a bulky man drinking wine and you pick apart the key points (“we don’t got the ammo to make deals with top contractors—legal team in shambles—not good to have a weak spot”), really you are letting your eyes wander over the shrubbery which has been trimmed to perfection. yes, the lights are a pain and the band is too loud so early in the event, and there is not enough walking space between the bushes so people squeeze together to reach the large clearing of the garden. a perfectly obnoxious party, except you can’t help but appreciate the greenery. somehow, it is the only thing about this evening that doesn’t seem ridiculous. or maybe you’re just unusually irritated tonight. 

your eyebrows knit so slightly at this realization. why are you being so disagreeable? impatience and intolerance seem to grow in your chest for no particular reason. you make a note to identify the source of your mood, and quickly resolve it. there’s work to be done.

karina braun is a kind, opinionated sheep of a woman. she is liked by all, and not because she’s particularly easy to like, but rather because she’s hard to hate. stuck in her times and not having much intellectual value, she is possibly the most important woman in all the families. being the mother of reiner braun and the head of the braun-galliard family, gives her luxury without responsibility. you’ve only met her once before, and she possessed the kind of ignorance many privileged older women have. but still she’s kind, so you can’t justify how she makes you weary. 

her birthday, funnily enough, constitutes one of the very few gatherings that frowns upon trying to discuss family matter during the events, unlike a young girl’s birthday. it has to do with respect, you suppose. 

you spend your first half-hour at the party hovering around pieck as she makes small talk with associates, becoming increasingly nervous at your lack of breakthrough in communication with the family. you know the most important thing is your encounter with karina, and that will open up further talks with others, but you stall to approach her, imperceptibly steering pieck further away from the centre table where the older woman sits. not yet. 

“are you going to keep leading me through the same semi-circle, or are you just going to go talk to her?” pieck asks calmly. you curse her intelligence in your mind. 

“i’m just nervous,” you murmur, smiling politely at a group of men at a distance that eyes you like the business deal you are. 

“you should be, but that doesn’t change that you have to do it.” your eyes flick to look at the woman beside you for a moment. her expression is not encouraging or consoling, nor is it unsettling. it’s fitting. what you and pieck have is less than friendship but more than acquaintanceship. often you feel as thought she’s reading your emotions like an open book, which can be scary considering how many of them you really hide. but if and when she sees them, she doesn’t seem to care, whether they’re incriminating or worthy of sympathy. she sees you, and that is all. it’s not a comfort, nor a curse. 

“what are you waiting for?” she says, but it’s a genuine question rather than a push to complete the task at hand. you realize you’re waiting for porco. you want porco at your side. you want his strength and his jagged-edged ambition, and the forcefulness that makes you do the things your heart has no energy for.

“i just think it would be better if the boys were here,” you breathe. again, pieck sees your meaning, and your fright, and leaves it be. 

for the next eternity, you drink champagne and stretch back your memory to know if all parties are this boring once you become an adult, or if the braun family has a particular talent for making you crave the sight of paint drying. the closest thing to entertainment—and not the hired folk who attempt to call themselves singers—is gabi’s voice, which can be heard no matter where in the garden you stand. she tells stories, strikes up arguments, and gathers food and drink with her friends, all at top volume. for some reason, you don’t find amusement in this either, and really start to worry about this attitude problem you’ve got this night. to add on, porco’s meeting seems to stretch painfully long. it was a short-notice meeting, which either meant something very very good or very very bad—more so when he told you he was being picked up for it by reiner, colt, and annie. some of the most important family members gathering for an emergency meeting means trouble. your anxiety bubbles in your stomach, and you worry that your not approaching the woman of the hour is reaching a point where it might be seen as—rude. 

the guests are alerted that dinner is ready. it’s not long before each person has situated themselves along the tables that line the large garden. the seating plan is loosely maintained, but you have nowhere near the entitlement to mingle among other tables. you find yours and stay at it, and it’s only then that you get an idea of just how many people are at this event. each table is packed, holding roughly six people, and there are too many to count in the chaos, but they create a semi-rectangle in three respective rows. you make out countless bodies but few faces, just an endless sea of tuxedos and lovely dresses. at the front of the garden is the head table, where karina sits alone save gabi’s bouncing body going back and forth. your table is is only a few feet from hers, but you take a seat that puts your back to her front so you don’t make the unforgivable mistake of accidental eye contact. you’re to sit with porco, and his table—the galliard table—is the one closest in importance to the braun table. you are the only one at the table, further reminder of porco’s tardiness. the longer you fiddle with the white cloth on the surface, the more you worry about what exactly the meeting could mean. 

and then pieck comes and sits across from you without a word. as always, you know it’s only family matter—the concern that you look out of place—motivating her and not your obvious discomfort, but you’re grateful nonetheless. 

as the servers stream into the garden like white-clad troops armed with dome platters, a champagne glass’s unmistakeable ding ding ding catches the attention of the guests. a table near karina’s opposite side, not quite flanking her but near enough to display some importance. a man stands with his glass raised, looking unfitting for the position with the way his arm hesitantly dips and re-straightens. bertholdt, yet another notable name in braun-galliard (and it’s your job to know all the names), seems to be the only person around able to give the welcome speech. it’s easy to listen only selectively to the announcements and shoutouts, disregarding all the thank yous and remember whens and listening in for honored guests (who are honored because they’ve proven themselves useful). luckily for you, bertholdt’s clumsy speech has a clear distinction between the two categories, his eyes downturned to cards in which he lists off important guests and whatever thing they did to end up on he list before him. 

“a special welcome to general theo magath of the mexican military, who has been so generous to the family’s trade routes…” bertholdt’s words are careful, partly because of the nature of the things he is sharing, but also because all his actions have been careful since his fall from grace. formerly one of the most reliable heavy men in the family, bertholdt’s reputation was shot to hell when an important—very important—family member was killed on his watch. despite having happened years and years ago now, it took extensive efforts to just convince the higher-ups that he wasn’t in bed with the killer. it’s common knowledge that bertholdt’s incident was the first and last time someone “had it easy” from braun-galliard due to his close friendship with reiner himself. 

“an especially relieving guest to see here tonight—“ 

and—finally—the stragglers stalk into the clearing. like most others, you hear of their arrival from the ripple of murmurs long before you see them, seeing as their whereabouts are blocked off by tables and bushes. a few people stand up, but are quickly beckoned to sit down again and redirect their attention to the speaker, who clears his throat nervously. 

“carry on, bertholdt,” reiner’s affecting voice breaks through the space, and it’s enough to settle the audience, or at least have them pretend to pay attention while the late-comers shuffle through the outskirts of the tables to find their seats. bertholdt proceeds slowly. 

“…a person i’m sure we will all come to rely on during this chaotic time…”

you catch the first glimpse of porco as he turns the final corner of the rectangle, reiner walking before him and colt and annie just behind. reiner is the first to arrive to his table, the invitees seeming to hold their chests a little taller for the family’s true head—in every way except on paper—as he slides into his seat and presses a kiss to his mother’s cheek. 

“…a great legacy behind him and a bright career ahead, and we’re surely glad he’s kicked it off in our company…” bertholdt goes on. you and porco’s eyes meet, and immediately you know something is the matter; you’re just not sure if it’s fury or ecstasy in his gleam. 

colt and annie find their seats in the table just after yours, and finally porco is near enough to see—and ignore—the look of alarmed curiosity on your face. he arrives to the table, giving pieck a look of “we’ll talk later,” and briefly stopping behind your chair. his calloused hands are on your arms for a moment, running up and down comfortingly. 

“—a happy welcome to—“

“hey, doll.”

“—jean kirstein.” 

and your eyes flick away from porco’s and into the crowd of faceless bodies, and the anxieties that kept your brain buzzing with life halt and collapse to the floor of your mind like dead flies.

jean? 

[whitehotharlots]

A movement that cannot be criticized cannot achieve positive goals

The hardest part of talking about malignant trends on the broad left is that, well, you’re not allowed to talk about them. It’s no exaggeration to say that criticism has become fully conflated with violence. If you attempt to engage critically with a left-liberal writer--regardless of how thorough and respectful you may be, and regardless of how powerful, public, or insulated the subject of the criticism--you will be accused of dismissing and erasing the writer, of inciting violence against the writer, and of committing some form of genocide against whichever identity groups the writer belongs to.

Conversely, if you don’t provide specifics, you’ll be accused of making stuff up. The same people who claim it’s an act of aggression to ask for proof when they make claims of victimization turn into immense pedants the moment they encounter a heterodox opinion. 

Unsurprisingly, a discourse milieu in which critical analysis is forbidden is a prime breeding ground for unsustainable (and even horrific) behavioral standards. Never mind improving the world that exists outside their sphere of influence... these people are perpetually on the brink of destroying their allies, their institutions, and themselves.

Today I dug into an especially profane case that highlights both of these points. It’s a matter of public record, so I hopefully won’t get accused of “doxing” anyone for discussing it. It’s also the sort of story where if someone cares about it, they’ll have an opinion of it within a second or two of reading a headline describing what happened. This means it’ll only be of interest to the sort of cranks who read this blog. My goal here isn’t to express outrage or advocate for one side or other--although it is outrageous, and you won’t have to try too hard to see which side I favor. Instead, I’m going to try to move beyond that, to use this instance as a broader cautionary tale in regards to the more horrific tendencies of the identitarian left, and to begin formulating some means of resistance. 

In other words, this might get boring. Even more so than usual. 

The story involves a court case, documented here, in which a young man named Kieran Bhattacharya is suing the University of Virginia Medical School. Mr. Bhattacharya (a white supremacist name if I’ve ever heard one) was subjected to formal censure, repeated psychological evaluations, suspension, and eventual expulsion. This all happened because he raised some concerns after a White Fragility-inspired panel on microaggressions.

This is one of those cases where both sides are going to assume there’s a lot more going on beneath the surface and, like I said, are going to be disinclined toward actually reading the available evidence. Thankfully, the court brief is fairly exhaustive and--importantly--the account provided in the brief has received the approval of both plaintiff and defendant. To stress, everyone involved in this case agrees, legally, that the account provided herein is an accurate picture of what happened. Additionally, we also have audio of the initial microaggression seminar (Mr. Bhattacharya’s comments start at around the 28:30 mark), as well as of the pursuant committee meeting that ended in his expulsion. 

Here is the initial exchange, as documented by the brief:

Bhattacharya: Hello. Thank you for your presentation. I had a few questions just to clarify your definition of microaggressions. Is it a requirement, to be a victim of microaggression, that you are a member of a marginalized group? 

Adams: Very good question. And no. And no— 

Bhattacharya: But in the definition, it just said you have to be a member of a marginalized group—in the definition you just provided in the last slide. So that’s contradictory. 

Adams: What I had there is kind of the generalized definition. In fact, I extend it beyond that. As you see, I extend it to any marginalized group, and sometimes it’s not a marginalized group. There are examples that you would think maybe not fit, such as body size, height, [or] weight. And if that is how you would like to see me expand it, yes, indeed, that’s how I do. 

Bhattacharya: Yeah, follow-up question. Exactly how do you define marginalized and who is a marginalized group? Where does that go? I mean, it seems extremely nonspecific.

 Adams: And—that’s intentional. That’s intentional to make it more nonspecific . . . . 

After the initial exchange, Bhattacharya challenged Adams’s definition of microaggression. He argued against the notion that “the person who is receiving the microaggressions somehow knows the intention of the person who made it,” and he expressed concern that “a microaggression is entirely dependent on how the person who’s receiving it is reacting.” Id. He continued his critique of Adams’s work, saying, “The evidence that you provided—and you said you’ve studied this for years—which is just one anecdotal case—I mean do you have, did you study anything else about microaggressions that you know in the last few years?” Id. After Adams responded to Bhattacharya’s third question, he asked an additional series of questions: “So, again, what is the basis for which you’re going to tell someone that they’ve committed a microaggression? . . . Where are you getting this basis from? How are you studying this, and collecting evidence on this, and making presentations on it?”

You can listen to the audio if you like. There’s nothing there, in my opinion, that is not captured accurately in the written description. Bhattacharya does not yell or raise his voice. He sounds skeptical, but in no way violent or threatening. Nor does Adams, the presenter, signal that she is experiencing anything that approaches fear or trauma. 

Immediately after the event, a professor who helped organize the discussion filed a “Professionalism Concern Card”--a cute academic euphemism for a disciplinary write up--against Bhattacharya, alleging he had displayed a troubling lack of respect for differences (the irony here probably does not need to be explicated).

Soon after that--literally still the same day of the panel--Bhattacharya received an email from faculty asking him to “share his thoughts” so as to help him “understand and be able to cope with unintended consequences of conversations.” The tone of the email is polite and professional, but the text hints toward an attempt at entrapment. You’ll see this a lot in woke spaces--invitations to come to an understanding with one another that are, in actuality, attempts to get a person to say something cancellable.

Bhattacharya took the bait, and, well… 

During Bhattacharya and Peterson’s one-hour meeting, Peterson “barely mentioned” Bhattacharya’s questions and comments at the panel discussion. Dkt. 33 ¶ 73. Instead, Peterson attempted to determine Bhattacharya’s “views on various social and political issues—including sexual assault, affirmative action, and the election of President Trump.” 

At this point, the kid was fucked. He soon after had an uneventful-seeming meeting with a dean. Two weeks after that, a separate panel found him guilty of “patterns of unprofessional behavior and egregious violations of professionalism” and strongly encouraged him to seek psychological counseling. 

Pre-Trump, Bhattacharya still probably would have been fine if he had just kept his head down, gone to a couple therapy sessions, and maybe issued an empty apology. Since 2016, however, the rules have changed. An accusation is now absolute proof of guilt and no amount of ablution can save someone in a vulnerable position. 

Eleven days after receiving the ostensible suggestion that he receive counseling, Bhattacharya was informed that he would not be permitted to return to classes until he had been evaluated. A day after that--before even having the opportunity to seek the mandated counseling--he was given a mere 3 hours notice before having to attend another disciplinary committee meeting. 

This meeting found that Bhattacharya’s continuing behaviors were proof that he posed an imminent danger to the campus community, although the committee did not bother to explain what those behaviors entailed. His behavior was simply noted as “unusual” and this was proof that “Any patient that walked into the room with [Bhattacharya] would be scared.” The following day, Bhattacharya was forcibly removed from campus and told he could not return until he had been screened. He was, subsequently, not allowed to receive sanctioned screening, because of his status of having been removed from campus after being deemed a security risk.

Again, none of what I have described is an exaggeration. None of these details are even being contested. 

Now for my own conjecture: the problem isn’t that anyone genuinely believes Bhattacharya poses a threat to anyone’s safety. The problem is that he attempted to question the ideological firmaments of contemporary anti-racist training. These firmaments are protected with aggressive viciousness precisely because they cannot withstand scrutiny. Had Bhattacharya merely scoffed at them, or even if he had been outright condescending and dismissive, he probably would not have received such a severe punishment. The problem was that he was right, and his accusers knew it.

Understanding speech in the manner prescribed by the peddlers of microaggression theory cannot possibly be codified in a way that won't result in arbitrary punishment. Bhattacharya’s experience demonstrates that with horrific irony. 

The assertion here is that the intention of a speech act should have no bearing on how we adjudicate the morality of that speech act--such a point was made repeatedly in the initial discussion, and stressed once again after Bhattacharya’s concerns have been raised. This standard contradicts how we've processed the morality of speech for centuries, but that's what people are very explicitly demanding.

How is this workable, when literally any statement could, conceivably, be considered offensive by at least one individual? This, I feel, was the point Bhattacharya reaching toward. If you were to say, I dunno, "I love trees" to a group of 1000 people, 999 of them could regard that statement as benign. But what if one person takes offense to it? What if they work in the lumber industry, or they were molested by guy in a Smokey the Bear costume? What if that person then files a report accusing the tree lover of offensive speech? Will the speaker be disciplined? Or will the powers that be take intention and effect into account?

Of course, we're not going to criminalize all speech in this way. Like all extreme and broad-reaching disciplinary standards, this one will only be selectively evoked in order to punish people with heterodox opinions and/or those whose presence threatens the status quo. Someone who says something much more incendiary, like "all men are rapists" or "white people shouldn't get social security" would not receive a reprimand regardless of how much offense their statements caused, because they're saying something that's acceptable in our current milieu. And right now, the least acceptable speech is that which shines a light on the manifest flaws and hypocrisies of corporate anti racism. 

Back to my hypothetical example, if the tree-loving speaker was on good terms with everyone, the complaint would most likely be ignored. But if he had said or done other things that for whatever reason displeased the people in charge, the specious accusation could still ruin him. What's worse, the person who filed the allegation of offense might not have even actually taken offense at the statement--they were just looking for a way to get rid of him.

Bhattacharya was attempting to voice legitimate criticisms about a political movement whose suggestions are functionally unworkable and that, even if it were implemented fully and uncritically, does not contain even a hypothetical explanation in regards to how its goals would result in improved racial equality/equity. Because of that, he was cynically labeled dangerous and expelled from a public university. 

You'd think a group that obsesses over power differentials and their own marginalization would have some grasp of this. Regardless of which side you fall into with this particular culture war, it should fucking terrify you that a movement that’s been tasked with addressing pressing social problems is designed in such a way that any substantial criticism is met with aggressive punishment. 

There’s no way you can win if this is you is how conduct yourself. This is why we’re losing. This is why even if you get all the censorship and deplatforming you can ever dream of, even if every major bank and multinational corporatation professes fealty to your movement, you will still lose. Because there’s no way you can win. 

[kellyvela]

GRRM has said in interviews that he’s purposely played with the romantic tension between the hound and Sansa. What do you think the endgame purpose of the unkiss and that playing is meant to be for?

This is all what he said about the matter in question so far:

The Hound and Sansa, romantic or platonic? It could be very different things to each of those involved, mind you!

JUNE 24, 1999 THE HOUND AND SANSA

Moreta12: I understand, I’ve heard your opinion on that. In ACOK, it seems that the relationship between the Hound and Sansa had romantic undertones. Is that true?

GeoRR: Well, read the book and decide for yourself.

Moreta12: I’ve read the book and I’ve debated those particular scenes with a few others. Half say that it’s romantic and half say it’s platonic. I’ve taken the romantic stance.

GeoRR:  It could be very different things to each of those involved, mind you

Moreta12:Yes, but it seem like evidence points towards romantic undertones. Will the Hound appear later?

GeoRR: Yes, the Hound will be in STORM OF SWORDS. In fact, I just finished writing a big scene with him.

[Source]

When will Sansa be “legal”?  **ºª@”¡¿x<%$!&?

OCTOBER 05, 1999 AGE OF SEXUAL RELATIONS IN WESTEROS

The nature of the relationship between Sandor and Sansa has been a hot topic on Revanshe’s board. Sansa’s youth has been one focus of the discussion. What is the general Westerosi view as to romantic or sexual relationships involving a girl of Sansa’s age and level of physical maturity?

A boy is Westeros is considered to be a “man grown” at sixteen years. The same is true for girls. Sixteen is the age of legal majority, as twenty-one is for us.

However, for girls, the first flowering is also very significant… and in older traditions, a girl who has flowered is a woman, fit for both wedding and bedding.

A girl who has flowered, but not yet attained her sixteenth name day, is in a somewhat ambigious position: part child, part woman. A “maid,” in other words. Fertile but innocent, beloved of the singers.

In the “general Westerosi view,” well, girls may well be wed before their first flowerings, for political reasons, but it would considered perverse to bed them. And such early weddings, even without sex, remain rare. Generally weddings are postponed until the bride has passed from girlhood to maidenhood.

Maidens may be wedded and bedded… however, even there, many husbands will wait until the bride is fifteen or sixteen before sleeping with them. Very young mothers tend to have significantly higher rates of death in childbirth, which the maesters will have noted.

As in the real Middle Ages, highborn girls tend to flower significantly earlier than those of lower birth. Probably a matter of nutrition. As a result, they also tend to marry earlier, and to bear children earlier. There are plenty of exceptions.

[Source]

Unreliable Narrator

JUNE 26, 2001 SF, TARGARYENS, VALYRIA, SANSA, MARTELLS, AND MORE

[GRRM is asked about Sansa misremembering the name of Joffrey’s sword.]

The Lion’s Paw / Lion’s Tooth business (*), on the other hand, is intentional. A small touch of the unreliable narrator. I was trying to establish that the memories of my viewpoint characters are not infallible. Sansa is simply remembering it wrong. A very minor thing (you are the only one to catch it to date), but it was meant to set the stage for a much more important lapse in memory. You will see, in A STORM OF SWORDS and later volumes, that Sansa remembers the Hound kissing her the night he came to her bedroom… but if you look at the scene, he never does. That will eventually mean something, but just now it’s a subtle touch, something most of the readers may not even pick up on.

[Source]

(*) It was Arya who misremembered the name of Joffrey’s sword tho…

Unreliable Narrator 2.0

OCTOBER 05, 2002 SANSA’S MEMORY

[Note: This mail has been edited for brevity.]

… this is an inconsistency with ASoS more than an outright error. In ASoS, Sansa thinks that the Hound kissed her before leaving her room and King’s Landing. In ACoK, no kiss is mentioned in the scene, though Sansa did think that he was about to do so.

Well, not every inconsistency is a mistake, actually. Some are quite intentional. File this one under “unreliable narrator” and feel free to ponder its meaning

[Source]

Unreliable Narrator 3.0

NOVEMBER 27, 2007 GEORGE R.R. MARTIN ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONS

Here’s a really particular question (which I realize means it probably won’t get asked in a general interview): In A Storm of Swords, there is a chapter early on where Sansa is thinking back to the scene at the end of A Clash of Kings when The Hound came into her room during the battle. She thinks in the chapter about how he kissed her, but in the scene in A Clash of Kings, this actually didn’t happen. Was that a typo or something? —Valdora

GRRM: It’s not a typo. It is something! [Laughs] ”Unreliable narrator” is the key phrase there. The second scene is from Sansa’s thoughts. And what does that reveal about her psychologically? I try to be subtle about these things.

[Source]

Sansa may be dead but Alayne is alive

APRIL 15, 2008 FUTURE MEETINGS, POVS, ARYA’S ROLE, EASTERN LANDS, AND ASSASSINS

[Will Sandor and Sansa meet?]

Why, the Hound is dead, and Sansa may be dead as well. There’s only Alayne Stone.

[Source]

A lot more dangerous than romantic

AUGUST 2, 2009 AS SER JORAH MORMONT…

weltraummuell: The Hound Oh please don’t cast an old guy for the Hound, his scenes with Sansa are so romantic and erotic, I couldn’t bear if it’d feel creepy all of a sudden. Well, that’s me making demands. LOL

GRRM: Re: The Hound Old guy? No, but… the Hound is still a whole lot older than Sansa, and was never written as attractive… you know, those hideous burns and all that… he’s a lot more dangerous than he is romantic.

kestrana: The Hound Yeah its a “girl always wants the bad boy” kind of thing although Sansa seems to pull something else out of him. It feels so wrong sometimes but I want to see them together again tee hee.

weltraummuell: The Hound Hehe, George, maybe you didn’t intend it, but he turned out to be a very erotic character to female readers. Especially since he’s mutilated and dangerous. Makes him unpredictable and vulnerable which is the most explosive aphrodisiac for a girl’s fantasy. ;)

weltraummuell: The Hound And I know from discussions on other board other women feel just the same about Sandor. He’s an absolute favourite with the ladies!

halfbloodmalfoy: The Hound LOL, you’re such a man. To many of us women, dangerous *is* attractive.

GRRM: The Hound But no one has any love for poor old Sam Tarly, kind and smart and decent and devoted…

[Source]

I played with it but I didn’t get the answer I was waiting for

JUNE 22, 2012 SWORD & LASER VIDEO PODCAST

GRRM: I am sometimes surprised by the reactions, of women in particular, to some of the villains. The number of women over the years who have written to me that their favorite characters are Jaime Lannister or Sandor Clegane [the Hound] or Theon Greyjoy… All of these are deeply troubled individuals with some very dark sides, who have done some very dark things. Nonetheless, they do draw this response, and quite heavily, I think, in the case of some of them, from my female readers in particular.

Veronica Belmont: I’m a big fan of the Hound, myself, actually.

Tom Merritt: Of Sandor? Really?

Veronica Belmont: Yeah, the Hound… Maybe it’s not because I feel any compassion towards them, I’m not really sure what the attraction is. Ah, I’m not going to call it attraction, actually. Let’s just say it’s a fascination, perhaps.

GRRM: [Chuckles] Well, I mean, fascination is one thing, but some of these letters indicate that there really is like a romantic attraction going on there. And I do know there’s all these people out there who are, as they call themselves, the “San/San” fans, who want to see Sandor and Sansa get together at the end. So that’s interesting, too.

Tom Merritt: The TV show has sort of played with that a little, and probably stoked those fires.

GRRM: Oh, sure. And I’ve played with it in the books. There’s something there, but it’s still interesting to see how many people have responded to it.

[Source]

I played with it but I didn’t get the answer I was waiting for 2.0

JUNE 23, 2015 GRRM Q&A AT THE SCIENCE FICTION BOOKSTORE IN STOCKHOLM

Question: “Is there any fan reactions that you have been surprised by, like is there a character that’s more popular than you thought or have people been shocked by something you didn’t think we would be shocked at?”

GRRM: “I’m reasonably certain what people will be shocked by. I knew that the Red Wedding would provoke a big reaction and it did. I was pretty confident that, you know, throwing Bran out the window and then killing Ned in the first book would get reactions, and indeed they did. All of those worked exactly the way it did to the extent that things that have surprised me, they tend to be smaller things. I guess I… Maybe I should not have, I don’t know. How do I phrase this without getting myself in terrible trouble… I guess I don’t understand women, but I was definitely, you know, way back when, surprised by the number of women who reacted positively to characters like Theon and the Hound as dashing, romantic figures. The san/san kind of thing took me by surprise, I must admit, and even more so the women who, and there are some, who really like Theon. So that surprised me.”

[Source]

Unreliable Narrator 4.0

DECEMBER 2016 ASKING GEORGE R.R. MARTIN ABOUT S@N/S@N

My question is regarding Sansa Stark. Her sexuality has evolved through every book and yet the memory that seems to stick the more with her in this regard is the night of the Blackwater. So I was wondering if you can expand on your view on what this is, since as before that night her interactions with Sandor Clegane weren’t really physical.

The night of the Blackwater, yes. Ahhh… Well, I’m not going to give you a straight answer on that hahaha… Uhmmm, but I would say that ahhh… you know a television show and a book each has its own strengths and weaknesses; there a re tools that are available to me as a novelist, that are not available to people doing a television show. And of course there are tools available to them, that are not available to a novelist, I mean they can lay in a soundtrack, they can do special effects, they can do amazing things that I can’t do, I just have words on paper. What can I do, well I can use things like the internal narrative, I can take you inside of territories… thoughts, which you can’t do in a TV show… Ahhh… You just have the words they speak, you see them from outside because the camera is external, while prose is internal, and I have the device known as “unreliable narrator”… Ahhh… Which again, they don’t have. So, think about those two aspects when you consider that night of the Blackwater.

[Source]

Do with it what you will.

[suchababie]

Welcome to My Blog!

First of all, NO MINORS (LESS THAN 18 YEARS OF AGE) ALLOWED PLEASE!!!!! THIS IS A GROWN UP BLOG I DON’T WANT TO GET IN TROUBLE PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS BLOG IF YOU ARE A MINOR. MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED AND REPORTED.

A safe space for all (IN LEGAL OF AGE ofc)

Hi hello thank you for stopping by. Here’s a little stuff about me, the one who’s behind all of this lol

My name is Kay. You can call me by my old tumblr name, Vixen. My old url was little-baby-vixen. I’m 23 and my birthday’s on 7th of May. I’m a taurus. Whatever you read about Taurus sign, it’s probably true lmao. I’m a brown skinned chubby asian girl. I am socially awkward and shy and I ramble a lot, but if you get to know me and I feel comfortable with you, some of my friends described I’m cool, funny, quirky, smart, talkative, and I’m strong about opinions. I laugh a lot which means maybe I mask my sadness with funny things (too dark?) so you can tell I find some small things funny. My favorite colors are lavander and raspberry pink. I love MCU and Henry Cavill. My knowledge on English actually came through reading books, and then fanfiction. I listen to pop, alternative/indie, and rap music :) I graduated college, passed my local licensure exam (i am a registered medical technologist) and still don’t know what to do with my life tbh :)

Chaotic neutral is me

I wanna make new friends, especially internet friends from around the world :D I follow back and then I make you as a friend and mutual even if we don’t interact BUT interacting through likes and reblogs is also enough :) bow thanks for listening to my ted talk

tags: #about me on relatable posts. I also have #vixen’s personals , #personal , #rant, #vixen rambles

#nsft #nsft gifs #just one of those horny hours lmao #needy hours #needy vixen #nsft pics #nsft text on nsfw posts hehe

#grilled barbequeue #q for queues

#fic save for fics to read later

#fic rec for the fics i recommend ☺️💓

I’ve started tagging my posts with specific stuff (mcu-related, names if celebs, films, etc) just in case 😌

Asks and DMs are always open. You can talk to me about anything, just not mean things, gossips, politics pls thank you

Ps. Please put your age in your bio. I am encouraging you to put your actual age or atleast a hint (20s, mid 20s, or whatever) bc we all want to know how old the person behind the blog that we are interacting with is.

Mobile&desktop theme:

Icon and header by the wonderful @whimsicalrogers thank you so much 💓💓

[separatist-apologist]

Would you ever consider answering prompts on a commissioned basis? I can't write and I really want to read it (also it's elriel which might change your opinion?)

Hey anon!

I don't think I ever COULD fill prompts that way. I don't want the full weight of SJM's legal team breathing down my neck. I know artists do it, but I think it might be different for me. It violates the rules of fanfiction, at any rate and I don't want to start that precedent in the fandom and get everyone in trouble.

I know I suck at filling prompts but I'll say I'm always accepting them. I have 131 of them lingering in prompt hell in my ask box and who knows if I'll ever answer them. I keep telling myself I want to go back to filling prompts in the fall when Elucien week is over and I've wrapped up Swallow the Sun, Right Where You Left Me, and How You Get the Girl.

I don't want to be the person asking for money to write. I love writing, it's my hobby. If you have a prompt, I'm happy to look at it and fill it if I can. And if I can't, it doesn't mean your prompt was bad or I hated it- sometimes I see them and I save them like "'ooh I'm coming back to this".

As for elriel, I think if it were a modern AU, I might be tempted. I have an idea for them similar to the political elucien AU I wrote where Elain is cheating on Graysen with Lucien. I don't have a problem with what people like or what they ship- my issue is the way people weaponize their personal preferences to shame the rest of the fandom who doesn't agree. I don't get involved in the fighting and yet people still come to my blog to tell me if I liked Elain so much, I wouldn't ship her with Lucien.

If it wasn't like that, I think I would have written Elriel the way I write Neris. There is something appealing about choosing someone despite what fate has laid out for you and even though I don't prefer Az, I understand his appeal. Tall, dark and tortured? That's always sexy, I think.

[bloededhoine]

I notice a lot of fans don't really bring up how Roche uses Ves for her "feminine qualities (for lack of a better word)." I hate that in Witcher 2 he sends her to Loredo dressed as a prostitute and it is implied she does this sort of thing regularly? I do know that Roche cares for her but sometimes his behavior needs a reprimand. Do you have any thoughts on this?

i absolutely love questions like this because they really make me think. plus, this is one of the rare posts that's a system special! give @claire-verlaine your love. she's simply amazing.

first things first, spoiler warning for chapter 2 of roche's path in w2 and big trigger warning for discussions of sex work, sex trafficking, rape, war, unequal power dynamics, and brief mentions of underage prostitution. also this is really fucking long. sorry.

let's start with the geekiness: prostitution as a cover for espionage has a long and awesome, albeit poorly documented, history. it was really big with the confederacy (read: racists) during american civil war, and while their motives were undoubtedly awful, these spies were simply amazing. rose o'neal greenhow was recognized by the confederate president for her role in their victory at the first battle of bull run. belle boyd seduced a union (read: racists but more covert) general, found out the date and location of the next war council, drilled a hole in the floor in the meeting room, and sat in the crawl space and took notes of the entire thing.

although there were many successful female union spies, most of them didn't use sex. there's no clear consensus on why this was, but it's entirely possible that such enlightened progressives figured sex work to be demeaning. clearly, union men were avid consumers, but also thought women didn't know any better and needed to be protected from men who would exploit them. meanwhile, these awful southern racists had no problem with "exploiting" women, but inadvertently granted them a shit ton of political agency and prestige!

this all brings us to our next point, which is that nothing is inherently wrong with sex work, although it does put workers in incredibly vulnerable positions. for every spy that successfully used prostitution as a cover, there were likely many others that failed. without even considering the consequences of being discovered as an enemy spy, sex trafficking was (and continues to be) a very real risk for anyone in that situation*.

nearly the whole history of sex work legislation shows how little people, especially upper class men, understand it. the spies in the civil war were both lucky and unlucky in that they operated quite independently. they didn't need to take orders from someone who was entirely unqualified to give them, but they also had no safety net in case something went wrong. if belle boyd so much as sneezed while eavesdropping, there would be almost no chance she'd get back home alive.

however dangerous this job was, most lady spies during the civil war began spying before they were even recruited by the army. these women weren't doing it on anyone's orders, they were doing it because they had the skills and believed in the cause (remember that in this case that belief was not an admirable quality).

rose o'neal's (possible) handler, thomas jordan, had a huge network of spies, and all evidence points to him giving her way more independence than usual. thomas jordan wasn't who rose went to for orders, he was who she submitted her reports to. in my opinion, the sex she had to obtain this information was consensual.

ves' scenario is obviously different in regard to her chain of command. she is going into sexual situations under the direct orders of a (male) commanding officer. just writing this has the alarm bells going off in my head. what good is having someone to get you out of a dangerous situation when they were the one to put you in that situation in the first place? but this is where we get to what's special about roche. he is, as they say, not like other girls.

it's no secret how much roche loves his team. when the blue stripes are killed he says that everything he loved died. if ves dies in an eye for an eye he is absolutely devastated. the blue stripes aren't just roche's subordinates, they're his family. when you see the stripes outside of battle the camaraderie is even clearer: they fist fight their commander and each other to blow off steam, they play games, have contests, etc. ves' knowledge of roche's dark and troubled past is more proof that the trust goes both ways.

roche would never put his family in an unnecessarily dangerous situation, nor would he have them do something he personally wouldn't do. even if it's just from a morality perspective (like double crossing radovid for the man that had foltest killed), roche goes it alone.

so, we know roche is a (compratively) good guy. but we also know that intention, often, doesn't mean shit. i mentioned earlier how most of the people making decisions for sex workers have little to no idea of what they are doing. it doesn't help that their intentions are all about controlling (mostly) women and getting rich in the process, but even the best meaning legislator could unknowingly do a lot of damage. roche is way more involved in ves' missions than thomas jordan was in rose o'neal's, but i think that's a good thing.

as i'm sure you lovely witcher connoisseurs know, roche is a literal whoreson. he is very aware of what goes on in brothels, and, depending on how you read into his relationship with foltest, what it's like to not really be able to say no. if anything, roche's involvement here is a good thing, since he has years of first hand experience with exactly what ves is going through, but without the safety net of an elite team that loves him and are frighteningly good soldiers.

plus, ves is far more capable than your average soldier, even in a blue stripes-calibre group. she's an absolute badass. most women who used prostitution as a cover for spying went into it with no combat or espionage training whatsoever. they knew how to be personable, how to be seductive, and how to use men's biases to get them to spill all their secrets. clearly, this knowledge served them well, but what about the occasions when it didn't? they were not fighters. at all. ves has both the "feminine charms" and the terrifying combat skills. of course, these scenarios usually have her acting as a spy, not an assassin, so those skills are more of a failsafe, but it's still very important to her own safety and the morality of the whole situation.

TL;DR

to sum up, anon, i do agree with (what i assume to be) your reasoning, but not the conclusion you came to. if someone told me an older male superior was having a younger female subordinate act as a prostitute to gain intel during a time of war, i'd be ready to start cutting off dicks.

but that's not the whole story. the older male superior has a personal background in (possibly) coerced and underaged sex work. the younger female subordinate is a highly skilled soldier, and second in command of an elite unit. both of them have a very close familial relationship developed over several years. a similar relationship exists between the the other members of the unit in their command. personally, i think those factors make this a completely new situation.

that being said, i'm certain that my beliefs aren't the only ones out there. as long as we can all agree that the base scenario is unequivocally wrong, there should be absolutely no reason to (civilly) not discuss whether or not the special circumstances make it okay.

* i'll take this as an opportunity to say that the enforcement of anti-sex work laws force sex workers to be either a criminal, a victim, or dead. these laws are the problem, not the solution. the solution would be supporting unions for sex workers, giving them the same legal protections given to any other worker, and treating them like humans, not statistics.

[elfboyeros]

It Feels Oddly Domestic

Just a far warning there are going to be implied suicidal thoughts through the some of these little stories. I apologize if that tiggers or offended anyone I will put warnings at the beginnings of my stories if that is the cause!

Read the First Part

⚠️ Implied suicidal thoughts⚠️

“Mx. Paris there are other avenues that we could take.”

“Like what?”

“Well, the obvious one is to sue Callisto Merripen A.K.A Earthly Chaos,”

“Oh, come on you wouldn’t do that would you Cordelia?!”

“I don’t know!”

It seemed so outlandish, the idea of pro-hero suing another pro-hero. Especially when it appeared to be a horrible accident. Although the legal avenue for Cordelia to sue Callisto are more then sound.

“GAH, I don’t know what to do,” Cordelia huffed while in the shower, “I mean it does and doesn’t seem like a bad idea at the same.”

They turned off the shower tap, wrapping themselves in a towel and stepping out of the shower, “don’t fall again dumbass,” they muttered to themselves, “the last thing you need to do is all Aizawa or Hawks again to help you off the bathroom floor.”

They continue to think over the possible of suing the pro-hero that left them dying in the street, becoming more frustrated as the paced in their apartment, in an extra-large hoodie and boy shorts.

“Meow.”

Cordelia turned to their bed seeing the fluffy gray cat sprawled out within a pile of blankets, “good day, Aphrodite,” they said with a smile going to pet the animal, “maybe I should talk to someone…”

“Meow.”

“Thanks Aphrodite.”

Hawks was the first person they thought of talking to. He now the situation in and out he would give them advice.

Hey, I need someone to talk

Cordelia didn’t expect him to respond right away so they went to clean the bathroom to keep their mind of the choices they had to make. Although an hour and a half later they check their phone again.

[read] 4:23 p.m.

They frowned, knowing he was working. Although they wanted to be selfish this once. The possibly of making the wrong decision was eating them alive. They looked at the message list, Aizawa was under Hawks, the pro-hero 10 years their senior be the last person they texted. He had wished them luck in the meeting were the topic of suing Callisto came up.

“I can’t, he’s busy, it’s a weekday.”

Although they wanted to be selfish just this once.

Shota, do you got time to talk

It took less than a minute to get a response:

Is something wrong

Not extremely serious, but some stuff happened at the meeting today and I need advice.

If you’re busy its okay!

Do you want to do it over the phone, or in person

The fact that he had picked on how they like to discuss serious topics made them feel warm inside.

I would like to do it in person but this isn’t really about what I want

It actually is

Give me time to get there  

🙏I’m in your debt

Your not, just provide me dinner

What would you like

It doesn’t matter if it’s food

Yaki Udon?

👍

 Cordelia smiled, heading to the kitchen to begin cooking while Aphrodite played with toy in the background. It felt almost domestic, making Aizawa dinner as he was returning from the school. He’s coming home if you will.

“Cupid, stop being an idiot,” they sighed, blushing, “he’s coming over to talk to you because you asked, this isn’t his home.”

Did Codelia Paris have feelings for Shota Aizawa, yes, Could it be because he was being he was being kind, possibly. Although the B.M.I Hero Fat Gum was kind to the young adult since the day they met, and they had no feelings for the 29-year-old doughboy. No, they had feelings for the 30-year-old tired teacher. But Aizawa wouldn’t have feelings for them, he was 10 years their senior and it’s not like he saw them as nothing, but a young pro and a possible friend.

“And know I’m thinking about Hawks,” Cordelia huffed.

The winged hero, that birdbitch, also had a place in Cordelia’s heart and out of the two men that Cordelia wanted to be with Hawks seemed more realistic, although that doesn’t get rid of the feelings for Aizawa.

A knock at their front door, made the jump, pulling them out of their thoughts, “it’s open!”

The door behind them opened, heavy and tired footsteps entering their apartment, “you shouldn’t leave your door unlock and answer it like that,” Aizawa stated, softly as he removed his shoes.

Aphrodite had waddled her way for to the cat lover, enjoying him picking her up and holding her like a baby, “I knew it was you,” Cordelia replied, back turn toward him.

“And what if I was a murderer, or something, huh,” Aizawa posed.

Cordelia chuckled, turning around and leaning against the stove, “you think I can cheat death a second time?”

Aizawa looked at them for a second, tired, upset, and depressed, but still trying to make jokes. Just like in the hospital a month and a half ago, “don’t talk like that.”

“You brought up, buddy,” they retorted as the would out bowels and utensils.

Dinner was state in front of them at the little circular table in the corner of Cordelia’s kitchen area. The element of sitting across from each other and eating dinner felt so domestic.

“So, what’s wrong,” Aizawa asked.

Cordelia sighed, “My lawyer said I could sue Callisto.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, granted no in the room looked happy with that opinion.”

“You say that as if you have other opinions.”

“I kinda do,” they sighed again, “I could ask for a public apology, which means the actual story gets out and a ruin a young man’s career. He could give me a small about of money, under the table as an apology. Or do nothing!”

“Jesus.”

“I was told that if I sue, meaning I could get both the money and the apology, but the Hero Commission pulled me aside after and said that was a horrible idea, and would have the wrong outcome for everyone,” Cordelia explained, “but I don’t see how that possible.”

“So, they don’t want you to do anything,” Aizawa remarked as a question.

“Basically, but right now my reputation is in shambles give the cover up job that they did,” Aizawa was silence for a moment, “what would you do Shota?”

“If it were me… I would do nothing,” he replied, “it seems like more trouble than it’s worth, but I’m not you.”

“I just want the people to know what really happened! I don’t care about the money,” Cordelia replied, getting up to place their bowl in the sink, “so I guess I’ll just ask for the public apology, I just don’t know what the right thing would be.”

“I can’t make the decision for me, Cordelia,” Aizawa remarked placing his bowl in the sink beside theirs.

“I know, I’m not asking you to make the decision,” Cordelia sighed, back leaning against the sink with their arms folded against their chest, “I just… I don’t… gah! It shouldn’t be this difficult to make this decision! And of course, I’m the one making it so difficult!”

“You are making it a bit difficult,” Aizawa chuckled, leaning against the arm of the couch.

“I guess I’m just worry about what people are going to think,” Cordelia huffed, “my brain is still stuck in my freshman of high school phase, I guess.”

“and I’m assuming that bad.”

Cordelia nodded, “a bit,” they muttered, “I was a people pleaser and worried about what everyone thought of me, stuff like that.”

“Sound horrible,” Aizawa joked.

“yeah,” they chuckled, moving to sit on the couch.

Aizawa soon followed, Cordelia scrunched up on one couch cushion at one end and the Eraser hero at the other end, “why did you want to please everyone,” he asked.

“I wanted people to like me,” they replied simply, “I wasn’t the rocking bombshell that I am now. I was a nerdy, chubby, kid in America with shitty parents. I was bully through out my American education career. When I got tired of it all, I made it so people would at least tolerate me so I wouldn’t be so alone.”

“So, what happened when you got to U.A.?”

“People were nicer. I found actual friends. Getting to meet Fat Gum and get chances to have a social life where I could be myself, helped me a lot” they explained, “and hey, I even lost a bit of weight.”

Aizawa rolled his eyes at the comment of their weight, which Cordelia didn’t notice, “I feel like since the accident I'm falling backwards,” they added, “as if I'm trying to keep those around me from leaving because “I’ve done something wrong." I know it's not true, but that want a part of my brain believes."

Aizawa was silence listening to them, which was him being polite although, of course, Cordelia’s brain take that way, “I’m sorry for rambling.”

“It’s alright,” he replied, looking at them scrunched up on their own couch, “you can relax, Cordelia.”

“Then my feet would be in your lap.”

“Okay?”

“That’s your personal space,” they replied.

“and I’m in your home,” he added.

“I’m not putting my feet in your lap.”

“Too bad,” he huffed, pull at their feet, laying out their legs landing their feet in his lap.

It feels unbelievably domestic!

“Whatever… so tell me about yourself, Mr. Aizawa!”

He rolls his eyes, telling Cordelia very little about his younger ages, only because he didn’t feel like reliving his trauma at the moment. He spoke a lot about his time as a teacher, very little on his actual self.

“Come on, Shota, you gotta give me facts about yourself,” Cordelia chuckled.

“I mean there isn’t much,” Aizawa replied.

“Come on,” they groaned, “there’s no secret talent, or anything like that?!”

“Well... I can tap dance,” he answered.

“WHAT REALLY!”

Cordelia shot up, “dear god you are tell the truth,” they laughed, “THAT’S AMAZING,” they yelled falling back on the couch laughing.

Outside a center winged-hero was flying through the night sky, soaring to a center apartment. It’s not that he was ignoring Cordelia’s text, he was busy. Although the fact that he didn’t get a respond from them had him a bit worried.

“Come on, songbird, be okay,” he muttered.

Hawks landed on their balcony wall; he could see the light were on before he landed. Once he looked inside gave him the answer on why they didn’t respond to his text messages.  They were talking to 1-A teacher.

“Shota Aizawa,” Hawks muttered, “you keep stealing my thunder.”

Hawks looked down at his phone, opened on his messages with Cordelia.

Whatcha need Cupid

Songbird?

??

I’m sorry I was busy

I’m Flying by if you still need to talk

Cordelia please answer me!

[Delivered] 7:05 p.m.

Cordelia to him was a friend and had been a friend since they had started being a pro. He had someone to flirt with that would flirt back, someone to joke with, someone to feel at peace with when near them. Although since the accident he knew that Cordelia wasn’t doing great, and the red winged hero was trying his hardest to be support, but granted he was never good at that.

Hawks’ eyes fell to the cat sitting, inside, in front of the siding door, giving her a little wave before leaving, “have fun songbird.”

“MEOW!”

Aizawa and Cordelia looked over at Aphrodite, who sat in front of the balcony, “You want out stupid,” Cordelia asked, getting off the couch.

“Don’t call her stupid,” Aizawa chuckled, watching the beaten hero walked to the door.

“Maybe she’d be called smart if she figured out how to open the door,” they joked, petting the top of Aphrodite’s head, before siding the door open and swiftly shutting it and turning back seeing Aizawa off the couch, “leaving?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, have a stay trip back to the school,” Cordelia replied, “and thank you for doing this, I’ll make it up somehow.”

“You don’t have to make anything up,” he replied.

“Maybe I could help you grade or train the kids,” Cordelia proposed.

“That’s not a bad idea,” Aizawa chuckled.

Cordelia smiled somberly, the tried teacher could tell something was wrong. Not like if he left something would happen, but just that they didn’t want him to leave, they didn’t want to be alone. He could tell by the smile and the look in their eyes.

“Please text me or call me if you need anything,” he added softly, “I’ll be here as soon as I can.”

“I know,” Cordelia remarked, “now go, Eri probably want you to read her a bedtime story.”

That confirmed from him, that they didn’t want him to leave, and that broke his heart.

“Goodnight, Cupid,” he remarked, reaching for the door.

“Goodnight, Sho,” they giggled.

Once he left things didn’t feel so domestic anymore, they unbelievably felt sad and cold.

[inkandpen22]

Somewhere (3/?)

Pairing: Sirius Black x Female!Reader  

Warnings: None

Part Summary: After the dramatics at the disco, Y/N is left gloomy. Then, she receives a miraculous visit with a gift.

Masterlist

Reader 

Not soon after Sirius and his friends got kicked out, we left. I pleaded to stay, considering it’s still my birthday. Brady, Jay, and the rest of the boys were in a bad mood, they still are. We all came back to the house and they gathered around the kitchen table discussing the evening. I excused myself upstairs, tired, and gloomy from the whole experience. I’ve never dealt with the conflict between us and the wizards like my brother. He and Jay deal with it daily in politics, especially lately with the tensions growing. 

As I remove my makeup, I see Brady appear in the doorway of the bathroom out of my peripheral vision. He knocks on the frame, “can I come in?” 

“I suppose,” I mumble while I remove my makeup from the evening. He moves to sit on the edge of my counter. “Is everyone alright?” I ask, genuinely worried. He hums, nodding his head slowly. 

“You know, I didn’t want to ruin your evening and I’m sorry if that’s what I did,” Brady apologizes. “And I’m saying this now so that you understand. I just… I just couldn’t stand seeing that wizard-freak near you! They’re not good people, Y/N. They can’t even keep their own sort in line, despite having all the magic in the world! Now, they wish to live amongst us and spread their problems to us!” 

Despite Brady’s educated opinion, I can’t imagine Sirius doing any of that. He didn’t appear threatening or anything else Brady can describe his kind as being. He looked like any other boy, who just happens to be a wizard. He just so happens to be more remarkable than anyone I’ve ever met. 

Brady hops down from the counter and plants a kiss on my temple. “Good night, you should get some rest.” 

“How long will everyone be here?” I question, knowing how loud they can get. 

“Lauren is staying over,” he informs me casually. Lauren is over here half the time anyway. “Everyone else should be heading out soon.” 

That really means they’ll still be here when I go down for breakfast. They’ll all be crashing in the living room. I suppose that’s a benefit of not having parents and being the legal guardian, no rules.

“Good night,” Brady nods, turning to leave my room. 

“Night,” I mumble absentmindedly. 

I hear my door click behind Brady and I relax, no longer being under his watchful eye. Looking into my eyes in the mirror, I find myself wondering where Sirius is at this moment. What is doing right now? Will I ever see him again? I can’t begin to imagine how riveting it must be to be a wizard. I mean, the limits are nonexistent!  All the world is at his feet, all he has to do is reach out and touch it. Maybe I am a little crazy to be so interested in it. I just don’t understand how a world that is so remarkable could possibly be as dangerous as the others claim. I should be content with what I have and what I am, but I’m certain I’m destined for more. The human way of things is so boring and lacks luster. Wizards and witches, they can do anything, be anything! What I would give for one day, just one day experiencing their world. I would ask them a million questions and learn as much as I could. They look like us, speak like us, other than magic, what makes us different? 

Deep inside my own thoughts, I prepare for bed, changing into shorts and an old concert t-shirt. I hope I dream of Sirius and the wizarding world tonight, it’s all I’ve been thinking about for hours. I hear my floor creak as I shut my closet door and I’m guessing it’s Brady checking on me again. It could also be Lauren peeking in to say ‘good night.’ Suddenly, I feel a warm hand glide over my shoulder and down my arm. Hot breath brushes against my neck. I jump, spinning around swiftly in a panic. My sight lands on jet black eyes, Sirius. 

I gleam, “Siri-” 

He covers my mouth, holding a finger over his lips as he listens for any movement downstairs. When there’s no sign of anyone hearing me, he releases me with a sigh of relief. 

“What are you doing here?” I whisper, practically bursting. “How did you find me?” 

“I used a tracking spell,” he explains simply, leaving me in awe. 

“How did you get in?” I ask next. 

“Apparated,” he shrugs, as though I know exactly what that is. 

Taking my hand, he guides me over to sit on the bed. “So, you’re happy to see me?” 

Look at him as if he has three heads. Why wouldn’t I be excited? He’s here, that’s all I wanted! “Of course!” I gush, giving his hands a comforting squeeze. 

“I wasn’t sure after what happened if… if you hated me now,” he stammers, a gloomy expression plaguing his features. He glancing away from my eyes at the floor, clearly, a thought troubling him. 

Slowly, I reach up and caress his cheek. Subtly, he leans into my touch as his eyes fall shut. He’s so beautiful, the sight of him nearly makes my eyes well with tears. In my chest, a strong urge to protect and comfort him swallows me up. Leaning forward, I rest my forehead against his shoulder. Sirius’s hand rests against my knee, his thumb rubbing across my skin softly. 

“I saw you and everything else became irrelevant somehow,” I describe quietly, remembering the moment as if I were experiencing it now. 

His touch makes me feel so safe and warm. I can’t help but yearn for us to be closer if that’s even possible. I’ve never felt this way for anyone. I can’t imagine a life without him now. 

“I knew the moment my eyes landed on you that we were meant to meet tonight,” Sirius mutters. His hand tucks under my chin, leading me to look him in the eye. His gazes pour into me, reaching every depth of my soul. “You are my world now, Y/N,” he confesses, making my heart stop. 

A breathless laugh escapes me, I can’t believe it. Everything is too good to be true. “And you’re mine. From now on, I’m yours, always.” 

“Forever,” he nods, taking my hands in his longing. “Y/N, I wish to never be parted from you.” 

“But, my brother, your friends-” 

“None of them matter,” he claims, pretending to wave them away. “All that matters is you and me.” 

“If only there were a way we could get out of here, run away, even for a little while!” I wish, wanting nothing more than there to be just us. There would be no outside forces trying to keep us apart. 

“Let’s do it!” Sirius declares as enthused than me, if not more. He leaps up from the bed beside me. Taking my hands, he brings me along with him. “We can go anywhere! We can see the world!” 

I giggle, he sounds like a child. These sorts of things don’t just happen, especially for an ordinary human like me. 

“There’s a whole world out there, Y/N! It’s just waiting for us!” He illustrates the most incredible visions for me with a bright smile. 

“It’s a lovely dream,” I express, not fully convinced we could do it. There are so many factors we have to consider. “But it’s impossible…” 

He narrows his eyes with a mischievous smirk, “you forget a very important point.” 

I snicker, “And what is that?” 

“You’re talking to a wizard,” he reminds ever so confidently. His hand gestures up to my bedroom ceiling with a subtle wave of the wrist. “Look,” he instructs, flicking his attention to my ceiling. 

When I peer up toward my ceiling, I’m met with a clear starry sky. My jaw drops, how is this possible? It’s as though there’s no ceiling at all! 

Sirius leans over my shoulder, “it’s an enchantment. It’ll appear every night, so when you go to sleep you’ll be sleeping under the stars.” Amazed, I can’t pry my eyes away from it. 

“Let me give you anything you desire, everything and anything,” Sirius whispers in my ear, wrapping his arms around me as I feel his chest against my back. I rest my head back against his chest, admiring the stars. “I can take you far from here, far beyond anywhere you could ever imagine, to the heavens! Everything you would ever wish for I could give to you. Every day will be filled with extraordinary things and each day will better than the last!” 

I turn in his arms, resting my arms around his neck. “I want to see the universe with you, Sirius! Spend every minute from now on in your arms.” 

The edge of his lips rises to a smirk as his hand cups my face. His eyes flicker between my eyes and my lips. He leans down and I reach up to kiss him. Then, there’s a sudden knock at my door before we have the chance.  Sirius and I jump apart, staring at the door anxiously

“Y/N?” I hear Lauren in the hallway. “Are you awake?” 

I look to Sirius worriedly, “you have to go!” 

He takes my hands in his, “but when will I see you again?!” 

I press my lips together. I hardly have any alone time. Brady will be suspicious if I disappear for a while. “Brady and the others are spending the day at the park tomorrow. Come by here around one o’clock!” 

“Okay,” he grins, caressing my cheek softly as he towers over me. “I’ll be counting down the hours. 

“And appear or whatever you call it like you did tonight!” I instruct urgently. “In case they don’t leave on time!” 

He snickers at me, “yes, alright. I will apparate.” There’s a pause for a moment and his face falls. “I don’t want to leave you…” 

“I don’t want you to leave,” I confess sorrowfully. 

“Y/N?” Lauren knocks again. 

“But you have to!” I urge Sirius along swiftly. 

“Yes right,” he peers at the door, his eyes wide with anxiety.

Meeting my gaze, he starts backing away from me. Sirius holds onto my hands for as long as possible until I’m too far out of reach. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he assures me. Then, in a blink, he whips away into thin air. Flashes of colors weaving through air, I’ve never seen anything like it. 

The door to my bedroom creaks open slowly and I whip my head in its direction. Lauren appears in the doorway, the lights from the hall pour into my otherwise dark room. My attention briefly flickers up to my ceiling, the stars lingering above us. Oh dear, I pray to God she doesn’t notice. Lauren leans against the doorframe, wrapping herself with her sweater, having changed into her pajamas. 

“I just wanted to say goodnight and a happy birthday one last time,” she explains with a soft smile. 

“Oh uh… thank you!” I stammer nervously. 

“I know your brother can be… well, a hard-ass sometimes,” she laughs at Brady’s expense. “But he means well. He absolutely adores you, I hope you know that.” 

I nod, hoping I don’t appear frantic. “I do! Yes, I know!” 

She hums, nodding her head slowly. Visibly, she doesn’t appear suspicious and I start to think I’ll get away with this without a problem. “Are you joining us tomorrow at the park?” 

I shake my head, “No uh, no I don’t so.” I struggle to come up with an excuse, then one pops into my head. “I have to return the dress from tonight. Yeah, Brady won’t let me keep it so…” 

She sighs in understanding, pushing off the doorframe, “oh well, alright. I’ll see you at breakfast. Goodnight, sleep well,” she waves before reaching for the door handle. 

“Goodnight!” I rush outright as the door clicks. 

Once I’m in the safe zone, I fall back onto my bed with a sigh of relief. My heart pounds in my chest as though I just ran a mile. I doubt I’ll get much sleep tonight. Then again, if I dream I may dream of Sirius and the hours will go by faster. I stare up at the starry sky Sirius conjured for me. My heart gleams at the sight. Then, I notice it, the Sirius star placed ever so perfectly right above my bed. I giggle lightly, he certainly did that on purpose. It’s utterly perfect, just like Sirius himself. The two best birthday presents in my life.

____________________________

Masterlist

[things-that-make-me-slytherin]

Non-Typical Slytherins

So I was taking a break from study, going through my inbox to see if I had already answered anything sitting there and I saw quite a few asks/submissions where my lovely little snakes are doubting themselves as Slytherins bc of their personality, star sign, patronuses, MBTI type, Ilvermorny house etc

The stereotypical Slytherins, the images that pop into peoples heads when they think of what a Slytherin is, is actually the minority of Slytherins in my opinion.

Take me for example, I am a Slytherin, Pisces, Pukwudgie, have a very strong sense of justice, morals, ethics. I am very caring, my jobs have usually been centred around helping people. In my pharmacy retail jobs my goal was to help people, when they came in complaining of stress related symptoms I would talk to them about fixing/managing their symptoms such as stress levels, acne/skin problems, trouble sleeping, self care - attacking the root of the problem while dealing with the symptoms. As a legal assistant I was driven by wanting to help people out with something that is usually extremely stressful and something out of their field of knowledge. Lawyers have a saying that we aren’t just our clients legal advocate, but their therapist and support person all at once.

On the other hand I am also very judgemental (I’m working on it), sassy, bitchy can be an asshole. It’s kind of like saying you can only like one fashion style or one type of cuisine. Very rarely do people fit into neat little boxes.

BUT NO ONE CAN TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE OR ARE NOT, so kindly tell them to go sit on a cactus.

People seem to forget that we aren’t necessarily what our house values are, that’s more Ilvermorny. We are sorted into our houses based primarily off what we value or aspire to be, that doesn’t mean that we automatically are those traits. It also doesn’t mean that we are all of our house traits. Because Crabbe and Goyle never came across as ambitious or cunning. 

Furthermore, these traits and values aren’t going to come across in the same way. Let’s take two non Slytherins in the HP world for example; my lovely Newt Scamander and Jacob Kowalski. Jacob’s ambition is to open up a bakery, Newt’s ambition is to save and care for magical creatures. They are completely different, someone’s greatest ambition could be to start a family, or graduate from school whereas another’s greatest ambition could be to get into politics, or medicine to develop a cure for some disease. Looking at these ambitions, you automatically place them along a scale at different places. But they are all ambitions.

For example, we can admire fraternity and traditionalism but these values don’t always mesh with others such as self-preservation or ambition.

What we value does however play a role in determining how we behave and make choices.

Most overlook that all of the Hogwarts houses are loyal, it just presents in different ways:

Gryffindors: loyal to house and ideals and morals

Ravenclaws: loyal to their passions, facts and hubris

Hufflepuffs: loyal to those they choose, loyal to their morals and ethics

Slytherins: loyal to their house and family, chosen or birth, loyal to themselves

Slytherins aren’t all massive assholes/bitches, moody and snarky and sassy. Just like Hufflepuffs aren’t all innocent little cinnamon rolls and can be just as snarky, moody and bitchy as anyone. Zacharias Smith anyone??? Gryffindors are not always chivalrous, brave and righteous - Peter Pettigrew. Ravenclaws aren’t all uptight swots who only care about knowledge or adhering to one school of thought, Luna Lovegood.

Slytherins have their own morals, ethic codes. We actually have a strong sense of fairness and sense of honour. It just may not marry up with other peoples, which is normal as a human being. We also tend to have the ability to set aside our own beliefs if it is in the way of what is right or needs to be done.

A lot of people tend to forget that others are just as complex and multi-faceted as they themselves are, which means that they tend to say “thats not right they dont go together” when they come across something that doesn't fit their own perception, which unless has been given thought is usually very shallow and takes in popular opinion and stereotypes.

They also forget that JK Rowling has her own biases which show in her writing. They also forget that it didn’t suit her story to show depth and diversity in the four houses. The stereotypes are a literary device.

So please be your unique selfs, fuck what others say and what the stereotypes are. You don’t have to act like others who fall under some same “label” as you, you were sorted into whichever house for a reason. Be a pastel loving, soft little cinnamon roll Slytherin or a badass bad bitch or whatever you choose to be. It doesn’t make you any more or any less of a Slytherin (Or Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff or Gryffindor or what have you.)

You are wonderful as you are, there is no other who can be who you are ad life would be incredibly boring if we were all the same.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Ep 35 S4: Raphael Joins the Pile of Dead Bodies

Ah 2020, thankfully we have one trashfire somewhat behind us, but I’m still avoiding social media for so many obvious reasons because of all the other trashfires that just never seem to stop burning, so lets talk about Yugioh with all of this newfound time.

Ah, card games. Card games that go on for 6-7 episodes. Lets see how they pad it out:

In a lot of ways, Roland really is just padding for the show, and that’s OK. He’s doing his best, by doing literally nothing but stand outside and check the time.

Inside the dusty soul chamber, Tristan has decided to do us the favor of recapping what happened last episode, which included the return of our four dead friends, so that they could die...again.

Seto’s reaction to seeing these dead people suddenly alive again was very “guys...I went nuts like years ago, I’m just going with it at this point.” and he’s still 100% positive that this is all a hologram and that no one will ever die.

Whatever it takes for Seto to get out of bed in the morning, I guess.

(read more under the cut)

One of the big mechanics the game is that you need to stay level headed, or the Orichalcos just kind of slurps you up. This explains a little why Dartz is so freakin chill basically all of the time, just the Bob Ross of evil over there. It also is sort of funny because Pharaoh and Seto are the least chill people to have ever lived so he’s just kind of waiting it out to see whom between Seto and Kaiba gets the most angry first and completely botches it.

Yugi has to do literally nothing and for the first time in his life this is the right choice.

I’m so glad he gets to use his big brain move of “If I don’t play, no one dies!” from S1. Glad it came back to serve him for once instead of just make everyone else really annoyed.

Yugi just...not moving means it’s now Seto’s turn to put down some cards, and he kinda looks over at Pegasus and goes...well you know what’s gonna happen next.

I have no idea why he didn’t attack Pegasus. Like this episode is kind of weird because we got these flashbacks of Pegasus being like “you’re my only hope, Yugi!” and it’s like wtf, Pegasus trapped you on a murder island and tried to kill you multiple times. He abducted Mokuba and turned both the Kaiba brothers into cards.

yo did Seto and Pegasus get back together in between seasons or something? Was there a whole character development where these two have fun brunches in San Fransisco now? Because I would watch that anime. I would watch the anime where Seto and Pegasus are co-hosting Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, and just destroying every unsuspecting local restaurant they brunch in.

But are we just assuming that the eyeball did all that evil stuff from S1 and that otherwise Pegasus is a good person? Because like...he was a mess before he got possessed. He’s kind of a Yugi, he’s kind of a Bakura, he’s kind of a Marik...in that there’s a mess in that bean, and getting possesed just only amplified what was already there.

So, with his smug as hell grin, Seto surprises Dartz by only barely getting affected by this inescapable moral dilemma and Seto just very quickly deciding to do a murder. And then we get a little blimp throwback to S2 (S3? I don’t even remember at this point, since we’ve been stuck in S4 for an entire year. Thanks 2020.)

If blocking the shot when Marik did it in S3 or S2 or whenever that was, didn’t get Mai to like Joey, then it shouldn’t work if you do it a second time.

But hey, I guess it’s better than letting her perma-die. Although this show desperately needs to figure out how to use Mai if they’re gonna keep her around, youknow?

Like all ships are fine and valid here, ship whatever you want to your hearts content: I don’t ship at all, as you know, but I hope one day they give Mai a personality that is consistently likeable. I do want to like her because she’s like...good at what she does when she plays cards and can be that can be a fun “hey I’m a girl but I’m not a freakin ‘gamer girl’ you male chauvinist assholes” type of character. But, the show just...the show doesn’t know what they want outside of a little romantic tension that they legally can’t follow through because of a 5-6 year age gap with a teenager.

This show actively tries to destroy this ship, and then turns around and is like “oh shoot this ship is all we have.” This show tries to lift up Mai as a feminist icon one season, and then tears her down for being “too” feminist the next season when she decides to--youknow--kill Joey Wheeler because he made her feel weak or something when he saved her life. 

Like the show does a lot to explore weakness and strength, and how what we see as weakness is actually strength, and how what we tend to attribute as strengths is actually weakness, and how our modern career/school/success expectations set us up for failure, but I think they explored that way better with Seto than they ever did with Mai.

Could’ve been cool Mai, you could’ve been cool.

Anyhoo, that was my spicy commentary on a 10+ year old anime, good to get it off my chest.

Seto and Yami have the typical problem they have whenever they play cards together, where one goes completely rogue. Except this time, the one going rogue isn’t Seto, it’s Yami. He’s just like...I’ll make life for Seto very difficult and I will lose this game and I don’t even mind because I’m already dead, deal with it.

So honestly this is an episode where it’s just Seto demanding we kill a bastard, and Yami being like “but not THAT bastard” and Seto just shrugging and saying “I have to kill A bastard, Yugi! Just CHOOSE one!”

That actual line in the show (I forget what it was exactly) does infer that Seto thinks Joey holds him back, and that implication speaks miles about Seto’s insecurities.

HOW THOUGH..........what are you jealous of, Seto?

You’re better at cards than he is, he’s never beat you at anything. It’s not about who’s best friends with Yugi because...Yugi’s possessed so Yami is always going to take first place...

......so what could it possibly BE?

Seto doesn’t attend school anymore, is it about that? Is it because Joey is likeable? Is it because Joey pretends he has a much older girlfriend? I mean hypothetically, Blue Eyes White Dragon is WAY older than Mai so...that can’t be it.

.....what IS it???

Does the “friendship” he have with Joey make Seto too soft? Is that what’s holding him back? Because Seto doesn’t actually think he’s friends with these people and says that Yugi and co are “Mokuba’s friends” so like....

.....what are you talking about, Seto???

Is it because you’re addicted to cards again? Because that’s...sort of Joey’s fault because he was the one who told you he needed a ride to Jacksonville, and then let slip that the “King of Games” title was up for grabs, is that it?

Are you just tired of Joey asking you for a ride?

Not like it matters, because Joey survives, and Seto gets to feel like a complete asshole about it.

As Raphael (who is this purple blur here) motorcycles into the dome of souls, Rolands last words were

“You can’t go in there!”

which was the weirdest thing to say to a guy you just saw fall down a 50 story building a few hours ago. Raphael not being dead should be the thing Roland fixates on, but instead he’s seen so many people die and come back to life, that he’s only concerned that Raphael will get in trouble for trespassing.

Again, Roland is the only Kaiba that hasn’t died yet, and it’s because he’s the only Kaiba that hasn’t broken the law.

Dude. What if the reason Roland is standing outside is because he’s been politely looking for the doorbell to be let in?

...the players asking for death...like clockwork...and me asking for the end of this freakin game...we played...1 turn this episode...

This episode was 1 turn!

And you may ask...well what else could possibly happen to stretch this out and well...

Raphael dives in on a motorcycle to save the day. Which is an aesthetic, by the way, this huge man covered in like a dozen belts, doing a wheelie jump into a chasm of 1 million souls. that’s an aesthetic.

So he shows up, gets off his bike and I was like “Oh good, someone to maybe save Yugi saving Joey saving Mai?” And instead, I was...not given that.

Mostly Raphael is here because he ALSO wants to kill Dartz, and is like “can I join? I know you’ve only played like 1 round, just deal me a new hand, it’ll be fine.” and it’s like...we already played the Orichalcos Raphael, this is not a game of Uno, you cannot just jump in.

Dartz is sort of obsessed with how everyone around him has potential for evil except for him, the chillest human to ever be born, and I gotta say...when he’s in this room...Dartz has a point.

+++++++++++++RANT ABOUT BEING PERFECT FEEL FREE TO SKIP++++++++++++++

It is sort of nice to have the concept of an older generation (in this case 10,000 years older) fighting with a younger generation. To have the older, more typically wiser generation say “Listen, I kinda screwed the planet and the war economy and the prison system...and I’m gonna keep doing that...and you can’t stop me because you’re a bunch of hypocritical dumbasses.” and then the younger generation say. “We don’t care if we’re a mess, dude. We aren’t the problem here.”

I may be putting some recent topical STUFF into this mold here, but it is a nice little analogy that they made even someone who is such a human disaster as Yami and Seto “morally good” enough to fight Dartz. You don’t have to be a perfect Harvard Grad to fight the system, you don’t have to be an entirely problematic-free savior, you can be even as problematic as Seto Kaiba--just get rid of the dumb assholes trying to destroy the world. That’s all.

Like this concept is strangely prescient because in 2020 we’re in a weird time period where if you aren’t perfect, you’re not allowed to have opinions. You’re not allowed to make content. You’re not allowed to make change. This is mostly an online problem in places like twitter, but it’s a real problem--because in the end what you’re left with is no one that wants to step up to the plate because they know that they, too, are flawed.

And like not even just as a political thing, even as a creator, as an artist, I see this problem more and more with kids. Kids who are like “I am afraid to draw because what if I do it wrong and I get dragged on twitter years later?” or “I want to make a story, but I’m afraid to get cancelled because my fantasy story has problematic stuff in it? Am a bad person for wanting to write it?” And it’s like...what are we doing to young creators right now? Did we all fail humanities? How have we failed art and literature SO badly that we’ve come to this point that people are too afraid to even learn how to do it right?

Anyway that was a tangent, but like...you see the similarities, right? That if you really were as perfect as Dartz either politically or creatively, you’d be a freakin monster and would probably just tear down everyone else around you on twitter rather than lift other people up. It’s a stretch but eh, it’s been a while since I went on a good Yugioh tangent and like

---it’s not like I can say this on twitter---

+++++++++++++++END OF THAT RANT+++++++++++++++++++

So it’s at this point that Dartz turns to Raphael is like “I mean...we weren’t really doing anything else, and Yugi and Yami are playing so slowly...I guess I have time to bust your nuts” and decides to bust his nuts.

Oh hey, I was right.

And yeah, that’s still effed up. Dartz killed his Raphael’s family, left him on an island, and then adopted him later after forcing him to dig up their graves. Like...Raphael, that’s effed up.

He also did the same thing to everyone else (and for Valon he just kinda glazed over that really fast because we had to edit his backstory out of the English version)

PS at this part Mokuba started sweating bullets and Tea leaned over and was like “Is this true, Mokuba?”

And Mokuba was like “...yes.”

Because, I don’t think Mokuba can keep any secret from Tea. Like for reals, Tea may be the most dangerous thing to all of KaibaCorp if she wasn’t so distracted by Yami’s endless string of problems. Mokuba is constantly telling them all of Seto’s deepest darkest secrets and there is like nothing Seto can do about it.

The animation of Gozaburo turning into a beautiful Dartz was just a simple fade to white, but man--imagine if they had dome some crazy effed up animation where Gozaburo just whips back his head and he has ass length blue hair and long, luscious lashes?

Imagine.

Anyway, this was enough for Raphael, who was already our most gullible and unstable person on this show, to just flip that switch and go lime green like all those other minibosses before him.

Really glad we built up Raphael for him to just die at the door hahaha.

That was so freakin random.

OK then. Thanks for nothing, Raphael.

I guess we go to the next episode to see if we finally play another turn? We can hope for good things. But if we don’t play a full turn I will NOT be surprised.

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