#“was it worthy? is it still relevant? did I waste my time doing this?��

[tinyfantasminha]

👍

[sashaforthewin]

Once again, cleaning up more little ficlets. This one came about because I thought about how Eddie would've seemed to Robin if she hadn't known him in school. She's a protective friend <3

---

"Why didn't you tell me Steve was gay?" Eddie demanded. He slid into the opposite bench of her booth and made to pull her basket of fries over to the center of the table. 

"Why would I?" Robin asked, slapping his hand and pulling her fries back out of his reach.

"When I came out to you, you could've told me he was gay," Eddie pointed out, accusingly. 

"But then you would've gone after him."

"Yeah, because he is my dream guy!"

"Steve is everybody's dream guy. At least everybody that likes guys," Robin shrugged, continuing to eat her fries as if Eddie was not interrupting her lunch. 

"Yeah, but you could've helped set us up," Eddie pointed out.

"I don't want to set you guys up," Robin stated bluntly.

"Wait, what? Why not?"

"Because you're not Steve-worthy. You're kind of a big jerk," Robin said, matter-of-factly.

"What? How so?!"

"Well, in school you always heckled people in the lunch room, basically anyone that wasn't part of your little weirdo clique. You jumped out at people to try to scare them often, and you even shoved around your own cronies! And then you held a broken glass bottle to Steve's throat, teased him a bunch, and then you did exactly what he told you not to do and nearly died. That hospital waiting room took years of Steve's life."

"Well, shit Robin, I didn't know you hated me so much," Eddie scoffed, grabbing the ketchup bottle and starting to spin it on the table to have something to do with his hands.

"Stop that," she grabbed the ketchup bottle and put it back before continuing. "I don't hate you but unlike boy best friends that try to get you laid, girl best friends try to protect their friends from shitbags and losers. Contrary to his reputation, Steve is not a one-night-stand kind of guy and you are."

"No I'm not!" He defended.

"After you came out to me you kept coming up to me whenever Steve was doing something especially hot and you'd say 'if only I could sleep with him just once' as if that was a normal thing to say. You've said it like five times, now. It's why I've been trying extra hard to keep you two apart. He wears his heart on his sleeve and you are going to hurt him."

"I meant it in the poetic sense, like if I could get just one kiss I could die a happy man." He threw out his arms in frustration, body leaning onto the sticky diner table like a puppet with its strings cut.

"Save the poetic shit for someone that cares, I'm just trying to protect my friend and Steve is a lifelong commitment." Robin was over the conversation and her opinion of Munson had not changed, but she was a paying customer so she wasn't going to be the one to leave. 

"Are you sure you're not just in love with him and trying to keep him for yourself?" Eddie accused. "Why are you laughing?" He yelled, pissy in the face of her laughter.

"Because, numbskull, I'm lesbian."

"Wait, lesbian? Why the hell didn't you tell me when I came out to you?!" Eddie demanded. 

"Didn't seem relevant," she said, arms crossed and foot tapping. "You were only coming out to me because I am Steve's best friend. It was super obvious. " 

"Jesus christ, is everyone gay?"

Robin continued to stare at him, unimpressed.

"I'm still not helping you get with Steve."

"And I'm not thanking you at our wedding."

"In your dreams, Munson. You're still invited to movie night, by the way, but I'm not gonna let you sit next to Steve," Robin said, finally pushing her fries over to Eddie, who wasted no time in jamming a handful into his mouth.

[waythroughtheice]

Crossed Constellations, Part 4

Hullo again! For @absolutely-normal-about-x per the usual!

For Mega Man Star Force fans, SF2 happened completely normally, including the post-game. (Post-game is always canon with me.) It was in SF3's endgame where things got....different, and not in a good way. I'll explain more later as it becomes relevant, but right now it's not as needed.

~~~ Dinner was actually sort of quiet, Geo found to his surprise. But maybe he shouldn’t have been--according to X, his kids were out doing difficult jobs all day, so when they came back were tired and hungry, leading to a quiet dinner--at least at first. While the peace lasted, though, it was fascinating watching them all eat. X ate with his normal military precision, while Volnutt was far more relaxed in comparison. Leviathan was elegant, with swift teeny-tiny bites that didn’t waste a drop or let a single speck of food on her clothes, while Fefnir more like feral version of Volnutt--he scooped as much food as he could into his mouth, swallowed it as soon as possible, and shoved more into his mouth. Phantom was somewhere in the middle between X and Fefnir, eating with a relaxed and casual manner. 

But the shining star was Harpuia. Geo couldn’t help but stare as Harpuia somehow used his feathers like fingers to grip his utensils, and lift it to his mouth. It was hard not to, since the sight of the deceptively delicate-looking feathers curving around their heavy, food-laden utensils with ease and lifting them with no spillage was one to behold. 

“It’s kinda cool, isn’t it,” Volnutt commented. Geo flushed as he realized he had gotten caught. 

“Sorry,” he said. 

Harpuia shrugged. “It’s okay. It’s not the first time people’ve stared.” 

That made him feel even worse. “They shouldn’t be staring ‘cause you’re different,” Geo said. “Sorry again.” 

“He’s right,” Volnutt said firmly. 

Fefnir huffed a laugh. “Look, there’s two of ‘em now, Harpy!” 

“There will be three if needs must,” X said, causing eyes to turn to him. “Are there people bothering you, Harpuia?” 

Harpuia shook his head. “No, Father,” he said. “Some stares, but that’s the extent of it.” 

Volnutt pouted. “Even that’s too much,” he muttered. Geo had to agree with him. 

“Most people are too scared by our reputation as Diggers,” Leviathan sniffed, but Geo could tell she was pleased, and happy by that fact. “It keeps away most unwanted attention.” 

“Yeah, except some suitors for Levi,” Fefnir snickered. 

“Suitors?” Omega-Xis said with delight. “For the Leviathan?” Geo shushed him. 

“Suitors?” X asked, putting down his fork. 

“Levi scared them all away, don’t worry,” Phantom said dryly. “With the business end of her ranseur.” 

Leviathan smirked. “If they can’t keep up with me in battle I don’t want their attention,” she said proudly, tossing her braid over her shoulder. “I am Leviathan Titania Light, and I rule the waters! No man shall come near if they aren’t worthy of me or my family.” 

I am the proud Fairy Leviathan, Guardian of Neo Arcadia! No rebel will come near my city while I still take breath! Stand down, or perish! 

Geo blinked away the vestiges of the versions of Leviathan he’d met, and compared them to this new one, dressed in fashionable yet comfortable blue clothes, loosely braided gray-blue hair, and eating dinner with her family under candlelight. 

She was warmer. Softer. Kinder. There wasn’t a hint of the former general Geo’d met in the previous timelines--well. Geo eyed her hands, remembering how quickly her ranseur appeared in a flash of light. There were hints, but they weren’t as overt. Maybe because she didn’t need to be. 

She didn’t have to be one of the Guardians of Neo Arcadia. 

None of them did. 

Geo took another bite of the frankly unfairly delicious curry. He’d only gotten through maybe half his plate, but that was actually pretty good, considering he’d been in Mega Man’s form for over a month straight. 

Volnutt nudged him gently. “Hey, Geo, what’s some of the coolest sights you’ve seen?” 

Geo blinked, and put down his fork. “Huh.” He said. What would be a good answer to this? His first immediate response was the Neo Arcadia city, looking down from X’s tower, but in present company that seemed like a landmine. 

Scratch that, it would definitely be a landmine. Omega-Xis would’ve done it, but he wasn’t Omega-Xis so there. 

“Um, well…” he said. “I’ve seen a lot of desert?” He did his very best to ignore the sharp, assessing looks being sent his way. 

“What’s that?” Volnutt said. 

“You’ve never heard of a desert?” Geo asked, surprised. 

“Most of this world is ocean,” X explained calmly. “And most islands aren’t that big to really support a desert.”

“Huh. Well,” Geo said. “Think….instead of all the water, think sand. And a really hot temperature in the day and cold at night.” 

Volnutt frowned. “That doesn’t sound pretty impressive.” 

“The sunsets and sunrises were,” Geo said. “And the way the desert just went on for miles was kinda impressive too.” 

X winced. As did the Guardians. 

“That sounds cool,” Volnutt said. “But I was thinking of man-made things. Anything like that?” 

“That desert was pretty man-made,” Omega-Xis commented gleefully, then widened his eyes as Geo pettily hit the “recall” button on the Hunter VG, forcing Omega-Xis back into the device and then hitting “mute”. 

He’d pay for that later but the comment was out of line. 

Volnutt tilted his head to the side. “What do you mean?”  

Ack! What else had he seen what else had he seen--“Nothing! Uh, I once saw an elevator that went up to the moon?” 

Volnutt lit up. “Really? Those things existed?”

X choked on his water. “You’ve seen the Orbital Elevator?” 

“We did more than that--we rode on it,” Omega-Xis said smugly. 

Geo nodded. “Yeah, it was really cool. It had these glass windows going up all the way so you could see out, and it took like an hour to get up from the moon base down to the earth base.” 

“Only an hour?” Volnutt asked. 

“Was it really only an hour?” Harpuia asked, intrigued. “Father never released the specs on it and he only mentioned it a few times in our childhood.” 

Geo nodded. “I timed it. It was only an hour one way!” 

“So it was a two hours roundtrip,” Harpuia said. “Father always made it out to be longer.” 

“Certainly felt like more riding it,” X muttered. 

“I wonder why it didn’t survive until now,” Volnutt said. “It sounds really cool!” 

Geo frowned. “I don’t know why either,” he said. He knew people, and some vague understanding of events, but specific things often escaped him thanks to the timeline jumping. 

They then both looked to X with wide, curious eyes. “Do you know, Dad?” Volnutt asked, with Geo nodding beside him. 

In the background, Harpuia and Fefnir choked on their water. 

“There’s two of them now,” Phantom murmured. “How will Father survive this, I wonder…” 

Leviathan quietly clapped her hands together. “So cute,” she whispered. 

X sighed. “It was a containment measure. Sigma’s body and the mind of the virus was on the moon, and at the time, it was more prudent to simply use the moon as a containment device and allow no one to access it.” 

Oh. That made sense. 

“Who’s Sigma?” Volnutt’s entirely innocent question shot through the air, ratcheting up the tension by at least ten notches. 

Geo sat back, his eyes wide. X hadn’t told Volnutt about Sigma? SIGMA?

X’s eyes hardened. “An evil man,” he said firmly. “One whose name should and will remain buried.” 

“But Dad, if this is your history I want to know!” Volnutt protested. 

X softened, just a little. “This is a gentler time, Volnutt,” he said. “Sigma has been very dead for a long, long time and he no longer should be remembered. Least of all by you.” 

“If it makes you feel any better Dad didn’t like telling us about him either,” Harpuia said. “We learned about him mostly through the history books.” 

“Yeah, it was only because he was kind of relevant still when we were built that we learned about him,” Fefnir said gruffly. “Dad’s right, Vol. He ain’t important now.” 

Volnutt sat back reluctantly. “Okay…” he relented. 

“Geo,” X said. Geo stiffened on reflex. “Was the meal to your liking?” 

He relaxed. “It was! Thank you!” 

X studied him, and his half-empty plate. “As long as you’ve eaten enough,” he said. 

“This will be enough,” Geo said. “I don’t have as much of an appetite right now.” 

“Does that mean we can get seconds?” Fefnir said. 

X smiled. “Go on ahead.” 

Fefnir grinned, and got up. 

“Hey! Get me some too!” Volnutt asked, sending over his plate. 

“Yeah, sure--” 

“Me too, Fefnir~” Leviathan said. 

“Me as well,” Phantom said, his eyes twinkling with mischief. 

“Oi, hold on--” 

“If you wouldn’t mind,” Harpuia said, handing over his plate with the rest. Fefnir suddenly found himself balancing five different plates, two on each arm and one on his head. 

“Hey!” He snapped. “I ain’t your busboy!” 

The family and Geo laughed at him. 

Fefnir sighed, and waddled off to the kitchen. “Just this once!” He hollered back. Then there came clanging from the kitchen, and small curses. Geo grinned as Fefnir proudly made his way back, with some plates more pointedly empty from the others. 

“This isn’t equal at all!” Harpuia squawked at his miniscule portion. 

Fefnir grinned over his heaping portion. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Harpy.” 

“Yeah, Harpy!” Volnutt joined in with his more regular sized portion. 

“My portion is perfect,” Leviathan said smugly. 

Phantom stared down at his tiny portion. “I’ll get us some more, Harpuia,” he sighed. 

“Please,” Harpuia agreed, handing over his plate. 

He probably shouldn’t have trusted the ninja. Geo burst out laughing alongside the rest of the family when his plate came back even emptier than before, and Phantom’s filled to the brim. 

“Phaaaaannnntoooomm,” Harpuia growled out. 

Phantom grinned innocently. “What? I see no difference.” 

“Argh!” Harpuia stomped off and got his own portion--or at least he would’ve, if the pot hadn’t been empty. “There’s nothing left!” 

X fixed them all with a stern gaze. “Kids,” he said. 

Leviathan, Fefnir, and Phantom all calmed down immediately, the joke having run its course. “I got too much,” Phantom said. “I’ll share.” 

“Thanks, Phantom,” Harpuia said gratefully, and took maybe half the pile off of his plate. 

Dinner continued in much the same vein, with teasing, laughing, and discussion of the day’s work. It was kind, and it was a normalcy that Geo didn’t get to experience much anymore. His left hand found his way to the Hunter VG on his wrist, and put itself on top of the screen, where Omega-Xis watched and waited. 

Comfort-security-courage, pulsed out from it. Geo smiled. “Thanks, Mega,” he said softly. 

“Geo?” X asked. 

“Uh--yes?” Geo said, snapping back to the conversation. 

He smiled. “I just asked the table--would you like some dessert?” 

Geo lit up. “Yes please!” 

Normalcy. Geo would savor where and when he could. It wasn’t as if he got a lot of it anymore, after all. Not after all their deaths.

His hand tightened over the Hunter VG.

Not after he won too slowly.

[theoneofwhomisblue]

I made my points to refute yours. That's not a troll, that's someone verbally defending themselves when arguments against/shit talked.

"Millions of people engage in this sort of kink without going to prison or even doing anything worthy of prison" this refutes nothing. I brought up the possibility of prison as being my reason (and a reason in general, for being averse to it. You ignored that point to say your point again.

"Yes it's purity wank because you're being anti-sex and anti-kink and using a paper-thin nonsense fear about going to prison (which again #you won't" both just a rewording of what you already said (so a waste of time), and this time simply wrong. It's literally said in the post that: "you can choke someone unconscious in 15 seconds, temporary or permanent brain damage at 30 seconds, and death in 3 minutes" why do you think they brought it up? As a fun fact? A Snapple blurb? No, it's because it's relevant (see the third maxim again: relevance), the whole point of the post is that it can be dangerous. It's not paper thin nonsense any more than the post is.

"#as your weapon" once again, refuting nothing. I already said I have no weapon, I have reasoning for my, emphasis on the MY aversion to it. And the aversion being a reasonable/understandable one.

"#and yes it's kinkphobia because you straight up said 'Don't Have Kinks'" refutes nothing. I acknowledged that you can't not have kinks, making the statement impossible, which was my way of making the reblog comedic. You ignored that to say the same thing again.

"#Even if I was objecting to a specific kink I would never think to use that phrasing because I'm not a kinkphobe" I showed how what I'm doing isn't "kinkphobia" so this point has no bearing in that sense. Also I don't believe I asked, nor did anyone care to know how you would word a post.

"#You don't need to actively pay attention to radfems to imbibe their rhetoric indeed that's how they get you" I can't tell if this is the fault of mine for not wording it right, or yours for not understanding. But I'll say it again, better here. If I find it exhausting then I wouldn't just not pay attention to it, I would actively purge it from my internet algorithms. Which was implied, but that's on me for implying that. I FIND IT EXHAUSTING SO I ACTIVELY GET ANY AND ALL RADFEM CONTENT AWAY FROM ME, SO I CANNOT EVEN PASSIVELY ABSORB THEIR INFORMATION, MUCH LESS ACTIVELY. so, again refuting nothing. But I'll give you a pass because I didn't spell it out obviously. I've had trouble picking up on implication before: I should have accounted for that possibility. You're still wrong on this point.

Oh wow, looks like we're out of wrong points to tackle. Let's look at the whole picture.

None of your points refuted any of mine. You just repeated yourself while calling me a troll or a grade 12.

You have no more points, all you are is angry at me for no particular reason, and are repeating yourself hoping no one notices, all the while insulting me to try to bait me into ignoring your faults/making mistakes.

I will give it to you though, because you put your entire "argument" in the tags, I had to take a screenshot, then look at that while typing this, which was almost enough to get me to not reply at all. Pretty clever of you. Didn't work though.

So, and I say this with all the kindness and concern in my heart: shut the fuck up, actually cut your losses, and don't seem like a complete idiot by saying your points again.

Fuck you for wasting my time. Fuck you for baiting me into being angry at first. And fuck you for being an annoying bitch.

In an interesting turn of events I have been enrolled in a six hour couples bondage seminar despite being both 1. painfully single and 2. Incredibly anxious but fuck it we ball, I guess

[randomshyperson]

Any fics coming soon? I love and miss your work.

Anon, just like the day I started this blog, I still have no idea what I'm doing with my life. My brain passively decides the stories, I just control the writing action to be fair. So, i really don't know whats next haha I have so many unfished things you have no idea.

Last week I thought about a harkness daughter reader, with villian tendencies 'cause i never wrote one before. Her personality would be a bit badgirl vibes. WandaVision Era of course. I'll leave it here for you to read, tell me what you think, but i have no idea if i'm ever finishing this, but i wanna share the idea.

Let's call it: WandaVision Series Draft?

Words: 962

Summary: Like I said, it's a draft of an idea. Just wanna know if that would be a nice story to follow or nah. So, just peak comedy no warnings haha

------///-------

"I don't know how she did it, but this whole town is under her control." Agatha narrates and you can almost hear the gears of her brain going a thousand by now, working out the possibilities of how the witch could have done all that. You haven't seen your mother so fascinated in a long time.

It was a counterpart to your posture. You had your legs splayed out on the couch, a bored expression on your face.

"You must see, dear, no one remembers anything. Everything here works the way she wants it to."

"And?"

Agatha finally looked at you, and frowned at your indifference. She gave an incredulous laugh.

"What do you mean 'and'?" She questioned in the same tone. "I just said that a single witch is-"

"I heard it the last few times." You cut in. "Just like I heard when you felt her magic. Mama, that's so much smaller than Dormammu."

Agatha shakes her head, moving closer. "No, you don't understand." She begins. "The level of magical illusion she is using, the way she is mastering minds and-"

"It's a fantasy, Mom." You interrupt again, settling down on the couch. "Whoever it is, it's just a world of lies. I've gone around, everything here is pathetic and mundane. You're looking for a rival, but this woman just needs help. It's like she's trying to have a happy life here."

"She is literally holding people hostage."

You roll your eyes, standing up as you speak, "But she's not torturing them. It doesn't seem like it at least."

Agatha stands up as well, walking you to the kitchen, where you start rummaging through the cupboards for decent food.

"You have a lot of faith in people, Y/N." Agatha accuses, and you laugh, shaking your head.

"That witch, she doesn't seem to know what she's doing." You continue, stooping down to check the bottom cabinets. "I've seen the extremes of the city. The people there are like ghosts, with no functions. She's really made a city like The Sims here."

"What's that?"

"It's an electronic game, it's not relevant." You quickly clarify as you see your mother's expression. "The point is, I don't think you'll find what you expect here, Mom. If she really is wasting such powerful magic to make a life of make-believe, she has no idea how much power she really has."

Agatha absorbs your words as you finally find some decent food outside of the typical 1960s dishes. When you turn your attention back to your mother, she seems even more pleased with herself.

"What?" you ask, and her smile only widens.

"If you're right, I win anyway." She says and you follow back to the couch. "I intended to manipulate her in my favor, but if she is not worthy of your magic, I may just take it for myself. That's great news."

" I guess it is." You mutter without interest, picking up the television remote. "Any chance of convincing her to move this place to the current years? The TV was pretty bad in '63."

Agatha moved closer only to take the control from your hand and turn it off, drawing an exclamation of annoyance.

"Get up, I have a task for you."

"What? That's not fair!" You complained. "You said I could take a vacation for a while."

"That was six months ago." She retorted, moving to look out the window. "The next narrative has already been started. I want you to get out of here, out of town I mean. Find out what you can about this Wanda woman outside."

You grumbled in irritation, but stood up.

"And you're staying here?"

"Of course I am." She says straightening her spell altered clothes. "I'm going to occupy an important character in this whole joke. The best friend of the main character."

You roll your eyes, moving toward the door. "Careful, Mrs. Harkness. It's not smart to underestimate someone who controls so many minds."

Your mother smiles, giving you a wink. You chuckle before you leave, wondering who you would interrogate first to find out who this Westview mystery witch was.

---------/-/-----------

Getting out of the spell field was comforting.

Your clothes immediately adjusted, but you had an unpleasant interaction.

As soon as you stepped outside, you noticed the parked police car. And it didn't take long for the cops to address you.

"Hey, you! Wait a minute!" Warned the tallest of them, dropping the radio before coming towards you, his colleague further back, his hand in his holster. "We need you to answer some questions."

"Oh, you're the one who's going to answer some questions for me, officer." You say, and your eyes sparkle as you invade his mind, and also his partner's.

Ordering them to stand still and be obedient, you sidestep the officer toward his car, and check the radio.

"Billy, do you copy?" The device echoes in the vehicle. "We're sending in a special team, the SWORD people are interested in the case."

You move your fingers to call the cop, who robotically walked back to the car, and sat down.

"Confirm that everything is okay and that you two are waiting." You say, and the policeman then obeys. When the radio is off, you lean on the vehicle.

"Billy, my man, tell me something, this Sword people, are they cops?"

"SWORD is a special security agency, ma'am." He replied. "It takes care of operations that fell under the old Sokovia treaty."

"Hmmm, super heroes, then." You mutter. "Do me a favor, Billy. When they arrive, call me."

You instruct, touching the man's forehead only to erase the last interaction and leave only the order and your phone number.

You just needed a drink now. Sure your mom wouldn’t mind.

[sisterspooky1013]

Only One Choice, Part 2, Chapter 16

Read it here on AO3 / Tagging @today-in-fic

May passes into June and they quietly acknowledge that it has been one year since the day Mulder walked into the autopsy bay. They spend their weekends watching movies, making love, and hanging out with the Gunmen, Missy often in attendance as she and Byers become somewhat of an item. Every other Sunday they have lunch with her mother, Mulder meeting Bill by way of an awkward phone call and a promise that they will come out to visit San Diego sometime soon. The moratorium on weekday overnights fades away and the days they spend in each other’s beds begin to outnumber those that they don’t.

One day in early August, Mulder laments how lonely Priscilla gets when he’s gone for the night, crying and following him from room to room when he comes home and plaguing him with guilt. Scully suggests that he bring her over with him, setting up a litter box and food bowl in an unused corner of the living room. Without the daily need to care for a cat, he spends more and more time at her apartment, his suits taking over half her closet and his T-shirts occupying one of her drawers. He still has his fish to feed and so they can tell themselves that they don’t technically live together, though it’s been weeks since anyone slept at his apartment. The excitement of new love gives way to the familiar comfort of domesticity, questions about their lives prior to meeting morphing into what they’re having for dinner and whether someone can pick up toilet paper on the way home from work. They each visit the doctor for a full workup and, everything coming back clear, stop using condoms, relying on the progestin shot Scully goes in for every three months to prevent pregnancy.

Far from boring, they find worthy sparring partners in one another, debating everything from whether the moon landing was a hoax to the merits of String Theory, arguing their points of view passionately before they agree to disagree and then let their clothes fall to the floor. They discover the things they love best about one another; Mulder’s unrelenting curiosity and Scully’s bottomless compassion, as well as those they like the least; his forgetfulness when he’s focused on something and her tendency to shut him out when she’s upset. Whether completing a crossword puzzle together or watching Jeopardy, they embrace the ways that they are different and how they balance one another out; his creativity to her order, her planning to his impulsivity, his acceptance to her skepticism. Yin and yang, tall and small, bold and tempered; there is a completeness in their union that makes them each feel whole.

Even in their intensity and their commitment, Mulder has never again uttered the words ‘I love you’ and Scully has never said them at all. Far from a red flag or a hesitance to be vulnerable, they simply don’t feel the need to express it aloud. She knows he loves her when he drives forty minutes out of his way to pick up her favorite donuts or reads the latest issue of JAMA just so he can discuss the articles with her. He knows she loves him when she indulges him in theoretical discussions on the mating rituals of Sasquatch, not bothering to point out that the creature doesn’t exist, or wastes entire Saturdays watching movies that were bad enough to earn Razzies because he finds poorly made films entertaining.

Scully has never met Mulder’s parents, accepting his explanation that his mother is cold and his father distant, which is why she feels caught off guard when he calls her at work on a Tuesday to tell her that his mother had a stroke, and he is on his way to the hospital. He doesn’t ask her for anything, but she leaves work anyway, approaching the reception desk of the emergency department with a level of calm only a doctor is capable of.

“I’m looking for Teena Mulder, she should have been admitted within the last few hours,” she says to the young woman behind the desk.

“Yes, she’s here,” the woman answers, “but visiting hours don’t start until 4:00 and someone is already with her now. Are you family?” The woman looks at her expectantly.

“Um, no, I’m not,” she replies, not bothering to explain that Tenna Mulder is her boyfriend’s mother, who she’s never met.

“You can take a seat then,” the woman says with a well-practiced smile that doesn’t reach her eyes.

She finds an empty seat and pulls in a deep breath, taking out her cell phone in hopes she can reach Mulder, though cell reception in hospitals is notoriously bad.

“Excuse me, are you Dana?” someone says from a few seats away, and she turns to see an older man, perhaps in his sixties, with receding dark brown hair and tired bags under his eyes.

“Yes,” she replies, eyeing him skeptically as he rises from his seat and takes the one just beside her.

“I’m Bill Mulder, Fox’s father,” he says, offering his hand.

She takes it, scanning him for similarities to Mulder and finding none, other than his complexion and hair color.

“Oh, hello, it’s nice to meet you Mr. Mulder,” she stumbles, a bit confused. As Mulder tells it, his parents are divorced and not on friendly terms.

“Please, you can call me Bill,” he says with a small smile, and she nods. “Fox is with her now, though I don’t think she’s awake,” he offers.

They sit in awkward silence, Scully realizing she has absolutely no information with which to start a conversation. Mulder has told her nothing about his parents, aside from the details relevant to his sister’s abduction. She doesn’t know what Bill Mulder does, or did, for a living, or where he lives. Just when she’s considering going home, Mulder emerges from a set of double doors.

He was clearly looking for his father, but when he sees Scully his eyebrows knit and his chin puckers in relief. She stands and he scoops her up, squeezing her so tight it hurts.

“Thank you for coming,” he whispers hoarsely into her ear.

They part, hands clasped, and he addresses his father.

“Mom just woke up, you can go see her soon, but since Scully is here I’d like to take her back first.”

Scully gives him an incredulous look.

“Mulder, I’m sure your mom doesn’t want to meet me for the first time from a hospital bed,” she pleads.

“I know, but I want you to look at her chart. I just want to make sure that what the doctors are saying is accurate,” he says with desperate eyes, and she nods.

He leads her back through the double doors and into a room where a tall white-haired woman is reclining in the bed, an oxygen cannula tucked under her nose. While she saw little resemblance between Mulder and his father, the likeness to his mother is almost jarring; her stately nose and hooded eyes curating in Scully an immediate fondness for her. She blinks slowly at them, confusion furrowing her brow.

“Mom, this is Dana,” he says, and her expression shifts into one that is slightly pained.

She attempts to speak, one side of her mouth rooting for words that she can’t quite find.

“Hi Mrs. Mulder, I’m sorry we’re meeting under these circumstances,” Scully offers, “I’m a medical doctor, Fox asked me to take a look at your chart, if that’s okay?”

Teena nods and closes her eyes, and Scully goes to retrieve her chart from near the door. After she’s looked it over, they say goodbye and return to the lobby to find Mulder’s father.

“Go ahead, Dad, I’ll see you in there,” Mulder says, and then walks Scully to her car.

“So, what do you think?” he asks as they stand next to her open car door, worry crumpling his features.

“I don’t see anything out of the ordinary, Mulder. Her stroke was significant, you can see that by the degree to which it’s impacting her speech and gross motor function. It shouldn't get any worse, but she’ll need to go through rehab, and likely need some in-home care for a bit until we know the long term impact. It’s very possible that she’ll be able to continue living independently, but not right away.”

Mulder heaves a big sigh and nods. “I’m gonna stay here for a bit, but I think I’ll be home before you go to bed.”

“Of course, whatever you need,” she replies, bringing her palm to his cheek. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I think so. Thank you, again, for coming down here. You didn’t have to.”

“Mulder, of course I did,” she says with concern. “I’ll see you when you get home, okay?”

He kisses her one, two, three times, pulling her close for a beat, clinging to her for dear life.

“I love you,” he chokes out, and she hugs him tighter.

“I love you too,” she replies, her chin tucked tight into the crook of his neck.

When he releases his grip on her, she brings her hands to his jaw, brushing her thumbs over his cheeks.

“We’ll get through this, okay? We’ll figure it out,” she assures him, and he nods tersely.

———

She’s in bed reading, Priscilla curled up on her stomach, when she hears the thunk of the deadbolt.

“Mulder?” she calls out, and he pokes his head through the door.

“I’m gonna take a quick shower, I’ll be in in a minute,” he says, then disappears again.

He returns ten minutes later, shower-fresh and warm. She sets her book aside to envelop him in her arms, his head finding a home on her chest as his arms snake around her ribcage.

“How is she?” she asks as she strokes her fingers through his hair and down his neck soothingly.

“The same,” he says with a defeated tone, “they might release her to rehab tomorrow.”

“And how are you?” she asks, giving his neck a little squeeze.

He groans. “I don’t know. I’ve been thinking a lot.”

“About your mom?”

“No,” he says, propping up on his elbow to look at her, “about life, I guess.”

She lifts her eyebrows expectantly, waiting for him to continue.

“I don’t want to toil away in the BSU for the rest of my life, Scully. If I die tomorrow, what will I have to show for it?”

She frowns at him sympathetically.

“You make a difference in the BSU, Mulder. You help catch murderers, prevent further loss of life. It may not seem like it because you’re so far removed from the people it impacts, but you do.”

He flops back onto the bed, eyes on the ceiling.

“You’re probably right, but it still feels pretty pointless.”

“What would you rather be doing?” she asks gently, rolling on to her side to face him.

“Honestly?” he steals a glance at her before continuing, “investigating The X Files. Making progress in understanding what happened to my sister. Working to expose those who are responsible for the coverup of secret government operations.”

“Maybe you should talk to AD Skinner, try again. Maybe The X files could be reopened,” she says softly, brushing her palm over his arm.

Mulder shakes his head. “Nothing has changed, Scully. They won’t let me operate without a partner and no one wants to work with me.”

“I’d work with you, but that’s against bureau policy,” she says with a small smile, and he looks at her with an affectionate gaze.

“I’m sure you’d have a field day debunking all my work,” he says coyly.

“I would never,” she retorts sarcastically.

He rolls back towards her, pulling her close with her head tucked under his chin.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he says, his voice full of emotion.

“Well you do have me, so there’s no point in thinking about it,” she replies.

He sighs deeply, reaching past her to turn off the bedside lamp, and they sleep.

[kylorengarbagedump]

Defy Your Authority: Chapter 2

Read on AO3. Part 1 here. Part 3 here.

Summary: So, like, what's the big deal, buddy?

Words: 3800

Warnings: None. Yet.

Characters: Kylo Ren x Reader

A/N: Hello!! Firstly, thank you so much to @bastila-ren​ and @elmidol​ for listening to me talk so much about this fic, for reading the first two chapters, and helping me with their generous feedback.

Secondly, I want to thank all of you for your EXTREMELY generous response to this fic. I admit I was very nervous to post this, and still am very nervous to write it, but I can't explain how helpful it is to know that people still enjoy the story and want to read more. It's definitely a story I want to write!

Y’all have truly been too kind to me. I don't have a posting schedule, just yet--I'm hoping every week or every other week. :) Love y'all SOOOOO MUCH.

Like the smarmy bastard he was, Hux fought off a smirk. But Allegiant General Pryde gazed at you with what some might refer to as sheer, indignant horror.

Kylo Ren stopped feet from the throne, his gaze wandering your grungy hair, dirtied uniform, the cell filth on your face.

“Hm,” he said. “That’s one way to greet your Supreme Leader.”

Embers tickled your cheeks. Your Supreme Leader.

You looked at the two other men. What was on your tongue: Would you prefer I get on my knees instead?

What you ended up saying: “Uh, sorry. Sir.”

“I believe the Supreme Leader requires an apology a little more comprehensive than uh, sorry.”  Pryde stepped forward, as if to explain. “Sir, this woman was brought aboard by General Hux without prior approval.”

Kylo glanced between the older men, stare drifting to you, the darkness in his eyes reviving an animal within you that had been placed on life support. 

“Yes,” he replied. “I don’t recall providing authorization for this.”

“Supreme Leader,” Hux said, “we both know your TIE has been out of commission for several cycles. I thought it prudent to--”

“You thought it prudent to ask a manager of a remote outpost to come aboard the flagship of the First Order. I assume that’s what you’re about to say.” Pryde paused, waiting for Hux’s contrition--but none came. He turned to Kylo. “Sir, again, please forgive me. Had I known he’d be bringing aboard a rim-dweller who would defy your authority, I would’ve denied his request, entirely.”

“Defiance.” Kylo’s gaze drilled you. Much like you had dreamt of something else of his drilling you. “I hadn’t noticed.”

Pryde balked. “Well, I hardly find it appropriate to address the Supreme Leader of the First Order as dude, for starters.” He spat the word onto the floor like poison. “Really, General, you and her both should be begging for his pardon.”

You swallowed, attention on Kylo, trying to hide your glee. “Please, please forgive me,” you murmured. “Supreme Leader.”

Hux cleared his throat. “My apologies as well, sir.”

“Hm.” If he’d understood your tease, he didn’t acknowledge it. You frowned. Kylo looked to the cloaked mercenaries behind you. “Escort her back to Orinda.”

Disbelief smacked you across the face. “I’m sorry, what?”

Sputtering, Hux stepped forward. “Supreme Leader--”

“You don’t belong on this vessel,” Kylo said, glimpsing you, then the cloaked figures again. “Report is postponed. Prepare the Buzzard for departure.” 

Like droids, they activated and brushed past you, stalking toward the turbolift. The Supreme Dickhead gazed at you expectantly.

“They’re not patient.”

You shook your head, crossing your arms. “If you think I’m leaving--”

“Supreme Leader,” Hux said again. For once, you felt like both of you were stuck in the same flabbergasted pod. “Repairing your fighter has already wasted the time of numerous engineers, we don’t need to add--”

“Perhaps every engineer aboard deserves to have their time equally wasted, General.”

Hux’s jaw tensed. “If you wish, sir,” he replied. “But we could resolve the issue now.”

“We won’t.”

For whatever reason, Kylo Ren seemed dedicated to preventing you from working on this ship, as if he didn’t know your skill level. As if he believed other engineers deserved a shot at it over you. Ignoring the furious trembling of your fingers, you dug them into your sleeves. 

“What, you don’t think I’m capable?” you asked, frowning.

Pryde sighed. “Supreme Leader, the Council--”

Kylo pivoted to you. “No.” There was no hint of mockery or deception in his tone. “You’re capable.”

You swallowed, shrugged your shoulder. Tried not to sound hurt. “Then why won’t you let me try?”

Hazel eyes lingered, held you in silence for deafening seconds. There was something very, very tired inside of them. 

“Sir,” Pryde said, “as much as I love the rousing debate over whether or not this rimrat should be deemed worthy of working on your starfighter, the Supreme Council meeting is in minutes.” He turned to you. “I believe you’ve been directed to leave.”

You furrowed your brow, but miraculously managed to say nothing. The muscle under Kylo’s nose twitched. 

“You’ll get two hours.” He didn’t seem excited about the idea. “After that, you will return to Orinda.”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever,” you sighed. “Sir.”

A huff escaped him. “The Supreme Council meeting.” He turned, strode to the exit. “Come.”

Pryde frowned. “Sir, shouldn’t Hux return her to the hangar?”

“No.” Kylo’s voice ricocheted in the chamber. “She’s coming.”

Something like joy sparkled in your heart. Hux jutted out his chin, smirking at Pryde, who frowned and looked to you. You resisted the urge to stick your tongue out at him. There was a puzzle in his mind regarding your identity, a puzzle he was struggling to put together without the missing pieces. You weren’t interested in offering them. 

The three of you followed Kylo into the turbolift. Out of irritation, you stood as far away from him as possible. Awkward quiet settled in the air, and you grit your teeth, ignoring the sting of humiliation at your cheeks. Sure, it was nice he was inviting you to his little meeting, but that hardly compensated for the fact that it had been four entire months since you’d seen him and he was intent on booting you without so much as a parting fuck. 

Not that you wanted to fuck him after that stunt. 

Mostly.

The lift descended. Kylo hadn’t even looked at you, despite your best attempts at petty distancing. Hundreds of words hung on your tongue, and so few of them were appropriate for the ears of Hux and Pryde. Luckily for you, you could think them, instead.

Jackass.

The blast door slid open, and Kylo exited without response, the two generals on his heels. You lagged behind them, glare boring into the broad-shouldered bastard with the flowing cape.

Can’t believe this asshole was here the entire time, knowing everything, with all of the power in the galaxy, just doing bantha-shit about it.

Stormtroopers passed in formation, nodding in deference to the men in front of you as you turned a corner. The clomping of boots was the only sound for meters.

Leaving you for four months, horny as hell, lonely as hell, all while he was here doing what? Jerking off? As if he hadn’t begged you to stay. Please.

At the end of the hall, a set of blast doors parted, and you trailed the group inside, greeted by a massive, jet-black table with a hologram projector buried in the center. The occupants of about a dozen chairs turned, their eyes stuck to you, assessing you. Kylo crossed to the head of the table, Hux and Pryde taking spaces near him. The only open seats were at the back, relegated for only the most irrelevant attendees. You slunk over to one, sinking into it.

Apparently you’re not relevant to anyone in this room, anyway.

“Who’s this?” A balding officer of high-rank stared at you. “Supreme Leader?”

Pryde leaned forward. “She’s the Chief--”

“Who she is,” Kylo drawled, “is none of your concern.” 

Blood heated your face. The room rumbled with uncertainty, but only for seconds. 

“Sir,” said an older woman with slick blonde hair, “Multiple locations on Kamino refused entry to officers seeking out junior recruits. Our entry-level ranks are suffering. Requesting additional--”

Kylo glanced at her. “Yes.”

She nodded. “Thank you, sir.”

“Supreme Leader,” said an older, white-haired man. “Surveillance indicates that a fuel depot located in the Inner Rim has received communications from Resistance starships.”

“Have they responded?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Eliminate them.”

“Yes, sir.”

Another, dark-skinned woman inched to the edge of her seat. “Supreme Leader, ground troops found no evidence of Resistance sympathizers on the most recent patrol of Aeos Prime.”

“And the infrastructure.”

“Seems salvageable, sir.”

Kylo blinked, as if the answer hadn’t even mattered. “Move to the next outpost in the system.”

“Of course, Supreme Leader.”

Yet another man cleared his throat. “Supreme Leader, if I may…”

Swallowing, you stared into the gleaming tabletop, tracing the rivets of white light bordering the projector. Voices rose, offering status updates and seeking approval of the man at the head of the room. Obviously, there was nothing attractive about how competent and powerful Kylo Ren appeared in this setting. And this definitely did not tingle pride in your belly watching every single person in this room vie for his favor, knowing that out of all of them, the one he’d fucked was you.

Then again, maybe that was the very crux of the issue. His time and attention was desired and demanded and split between thousands--he directed and delegated an entire, galaxy-wide government. He commanded armies. Strategized operations. Balanced every need, tangible and intangible, with only two hands.

You spent your days bathing in ion dust.

The Allegiant Asshole cleared his throat, breaking you from your pity party. “General Hux,” he said, “didn’t you have your pet project to present?”

All eyes turned to Hux, his face dull with irritation. Lips pursing, he straightened his spine, fingers whizzing over the data screen at his seat. One swipe, a quick field entry, and the projector hummed to life, shooting a blue hologram of a TIE fighter above the table. It flickered, rotating like a display.

“The First Order has regularly demonstrated deficient performance during naval engagements, despite our superior numbers and resources,” Hux said. “After gathering data, we discovered that during our most recent missions, the TIE fighter is regularly out-piloted by Resistance sympathizers.” He tapped the screen, and the hologram split into a cross-section. “Thorough research indicates the TIE model is obsolete.”

The room crackled with whispers, officers turning to each other and looking to Hux, their faces twisted in disbelief. Kylo Ren sat, saying nothing, trained on the display. 

Sighing, you gazed at your hands and cleaned your nails. To you, this was obvious. Of course the basic TIE models--the TIE/fo models--were obsolete. The ships were highly inflexible, carried little firepower for their unwieldy construction, and had no hyperdrive application. In comparison to the model used by the Special Forces, the TIE/fo was practically useless. 

It was less obvious why these high-ranking strangers seemed unable to handle the truth.

“General,” said a dark-skinned man. “Are you proposing we abandon the TIE corps?”

Hux pressed the screen again, and it zoomed in on an exposed ion engine. “At the very least, the most basic TIE corps is woefully unequipped in comparison to Resistance fighters.”

“That’s ridiculous,” he replied, “our pilots are extensively trained.”

Pryde sneered. “Admiral Griss is correct,” he said. “Our elite troops don’t demonstrate any issue with crushing Resistance burrows.”

“Elite troops are never the ones defending a new occupation.” Hux gestured to the engine blueprint. “We sacrifice our progress because of this antiquated construction.”

“And what’s so antiquated about it?” Pryde sneered. “The construction is based on the Imperial TIE. These ships were a well-known symbol of naval superiority.”

“Updated for modern needs,” added Griss. 

Hux’s voice rose a decibel. “Not modern enough, given how frequently a single X-wing will decimate an entire unit.”

You wanted to groan. Against your will, you had to admit Hux was right. Orinda regularly saw straggling, crippled TIEs smash into the valley outside the hangar in attempts to land for repair. Mirna had pulled more pilots than you could count out of blazing wreckage.

“Do you suggest we change the basic TIE unit, then?” Griss asked.

“Perhaps,” Hux replied, “or we move to a different construction entirely.”

The other officers chuckled, murmurs rippling through the ranks again. 

“Supreme Leader,” Pryde said, “what he’s suggesting is absurd. Sienar-Jaemus manufactures perfectly appropriate and functional fighters at an affordable price to the First Order. It’s been done this way since the Empire.”

Rolling your eyes, you sat back in your chair. For a General of a government allegedly interested in innovation and progress, Pryde seemed to love sucking the Empire’s dick. The fact that they were refusing to even entertain Hux’s idea was, well…

“Perhaps we should place a double order for the basic fighters, sir,” Pryde continued. “To demonstrate their capability.”

You snorted. “Now that’s absurd.”

Every voice in the room died. Leather squelched, and you glanced up from your nails in time to see a dozen bodies shifting in their seats to turn and look at you. Inwardly, you cursed--you hadn’t had to practice volume control in months. 

At the head of the table, Kylo Ren stared. His expression, even to you, was indiscernible. But even if he was mad, you wouldn’t have cared. Not as long as he still intended on kicking you off the Steadfast without another word.

Shrugging, you said, “General Hux is right. The original TIE model is flawed. They lose out one-on-one almost every time.” Kylo still said nothing, the rest of the room too confused to interrupt you. “I guarantee there’s more credits spent on replacement models than it would cost to invest in something more versatile.”

Griss’s nose wrinkled, and he looked between you and Kylo. “I…” When Kylo offered no response, Griss settled on you. “I’m not sure what brought you here, ah… Lieutenant, but regardless of your purpose, you’re surrounded by superiors of the First Order. Don’t speak out of turn.”

“Right,” you said, “I do apologize, sir.  But you have to admit that this all is a little absurd. I see busted up basic TIEs all the time. They’re a failure.”

“Yes,” he replied, “and you are?”

“Chief of Operations on Orinda.”

“An outpost?” The room echoed with laughter, and you bristled. Griss gestured to you. “Supreme Leader, please, why is this woman here?”

Pryde nodded. “I know you have your reasons, sir, but surely she doesn’t belong in this room.”

“Maybe this woman knows what she’s talking about,” you mumbled.

“Excuse me?” Griss whipped around, leering at you. “Mind repeating yourself, Lieutenant?”

Volume control. Really needed to get better with that. 

Gathering a breath, you swallowed your ire. You could not spend all two hours on the Steadfast immediately making enemies with the military leaders of the First Order. Given Kylo’s state, you doubted he’d encourage your attitude. 

“My apologies,” you said, bowing your head, “I’m just. Nervous. Being on this ship for the first time.”

“Perhaps you’ve spent too much time on Orinda,” said Griss. “You’ve forgotten the hierarchy.”

“She needs re-education,” said the balding man.

The dark-skinned woman huffed. “Or a demotion.”

“Some form of discipline, surely.”

“Yes,” said Pryde with a glare. “Perhaps that should be arranged.”

Your heart skipped.

“Enough.”

Every person in the room spun, attention on Kylo Ren.

He was still inscrutable. Still gazing directly at you. 

A shiver spilled over your spine. Like instinct, your thighs pressed together. 

“General Hux,” he said. “Prepare a plan for the replacement of the basic TIE model.” A pause. No one spoke a word. “Dismissed.”

You remained in your seat as the other officers rose, their lips sealed as they filed out of the room. Hux scowled at you--ungrateful prick--and acknowledged Kylo’s order before leaving. Pryde scrutinized you, his focus flipping between you and his Supreme Leader as he stood from the table. 

“It’s time to leave, Lieutenant,” he said.

“I need a moment,” you replied, glancing at him. “Sir.”

Pryde turned to Kylo. “Sir?”

Kylo’s face was blank. “Dismissed, General.”

Whatever Pryde was thinking, he didn’t say. He offered deference to the Supreme Leader before strutting out, the blast door shutting behind him.

The moment it closed, the room thickened with heat, like stars vaporized the air. Sweat beaded your hairline, your tongue drying to paper. Every movement you thought to make was paused, paralyzed by confusion. Had it been four months ago, you’d be getting railed on top of the table or in his chair, you were sure of it. But Kylo seemed almost indifferent now. It neutered every response that came to mind.

Here you were, alone with Kylo Ren for the first time since you’d left. He was only meters away from you. And you had absolutely no idea what to do.

“Your time is limited, Lieutenant.”

A reminder he wanted you gone. You shook your head, chewing the inside of your lip. 

“The silencer is free to be inspected.”

Indignance tightened your chest. Your face was on fire.

“Or perhaps,” Kylo said, “you’d rather travel directly to Orinda.”

You whirled on him. “So you knew I was on Orinda the entire time?” Your frustration was unfettered. “You knew and just didn’t do anything about it? For four months?”

His stare didn’t yield. “Yes.”

“Yes?” you said. “That’s it? That’s all you have to say for yourself? How do you expect me to respond to that?” More heat gripped your neck. He was still. “Why do you want me gone so badly? You act like you don’t even want me around.”

“I don’t.”

The words were switchblades to your chest. You shook your head, gulped your pain.

“Uh. Okay. Wow.” Sighing, you continued, “But don’t you--I mean. You pleaded with me to stay.”

He said nothing.

“You... I know how you feel. You can’t hide that from me. Do you…” Your throat was tight. “Did something change?”

For four months, you had wondered what had been going on in Kylo Ren’s mind. Seeing him draped in the responsibility of the Supreme Leader of the First Order, hesitation crept into your gut. Within his gaze, perhaps only apparent to you, there was a black, terrible emptiness, like shadows reined in by his rage. Exhaustion hung in dark circles under his eyes and at his cheeks. His presence was as breathtaking as it ever had been, only haunted with the weight of the galaxy. 

For four months, you had wondered. You didn’t know, now, if you wanted the answer.

“You don’t belong here.” Kylo paused, then stood, moving toward the door. “Your presence is not warranted.”

“Warranted? That’s not what this is about.” You shot to your feet, intercepting his path. “You knew where I was, and you never once came to me! You left me there! Alone!” He side-stepped you, and you followed him, keeping your eyes chained to his. “Didn’t you miss me?” you asked. “Didn’t you think about me?”

He stalled. Exhaling through his nose, he spoke through his teeth. “Yes.”

“Then why didn’t you find me?” you said. “You promised!” 

Kylo stood, trapped in your stare, his fingers furling into fists.

“I know how you feel about me.” You advanced on him. “I know it.” 

You were so near you could feel his breath, count the individual strands of his hair, bask in the warmth of his body. A short inhale, and memory slammed you like gravity--the scent of his skin, his palms gripping your waist, his lips brushing your ear. The ache in your hands at night when they were not full of him, the bedtime yearning in your limbs when they were not wound around his. You had known him, known him, as if his blood ran in your veins.  

This was the closest you’d been to Kylo Ren in weeks upon weeks. Somehow, you only felt further away.

“Why?” you asked. “Why didn’t you find me?” After all of it, he only stared. It lit you with rage, and you bumped your chest with his. “Say something!”

The muscle in his jaw tightened. His shoulders rolled. But he was silent. 

A peal of bitter laughter escaped you. Whatever issues he had didn’t mater. You deserved more than what he was offering.

“Wow. Okay.” You shrugged, stepping back. “I don’t know who I was thinking about for these past four months, but it definitely wasn’t you.” Shaking your head, you turned toward the door. “Whatever, dude. Fuck you.”

You took a single step, and Kylo snatched your wrist, whipped you against his body. 

“You say that,” he breathed, “as if you haven’t been thinking about getting fucked since you arrived.”

Oxygen fled your lungs. Every blood cell in your body piled onto your cheeks and between your legs. In seconds, you were a throbbing, pent-up, swell of lust. 

You swallowed. “Oh, please,” you muttered. “You can’t distract me that easily. You know I need answers.”

“Hm.” Kylo scanned your figure. “So you say.”

“You’re such an asshole.” You tried to peel your wrist free. “Why didn’t you do this weeks ago, huh?”

His face darkened, his hold on you tightened. 

“You ask questions that have no answers.”

“Ugh. Get off.” Grunting, you shouldered him, body buffeting his like a flaccid wave. It would’ve been arousing, his strength, how utterly solid he was, if he wasn’t making you miserable in this moment. “You’re so full of it, man. Let me go. I’ll go repair your dumbass ship and you can send me back to Orinda, like you so clearly want.”

“You presume to understand what I want.” His voice was severe, a dull blade. “You will not stay here.” The ghost of a smirk fled his face. “But you won’t escape punishment when you’re gone.”

You shuddered, stuck out your chin. “Your punishments don’t scare me.”

Kylo growled. “Really.” A leather palm cupped the back of your neck, tugged you close. “Such confidence.”

You couldn’t help it. A tiny, excited whimper left you. Kylo shifted, his hand squeezed--

The projector in the table beeped. An incoming transmission. The both of you froze, staring at the blinking request on the interface.  You coughed, patted his chest as a signal to answer it. The knot in his throat bobbed, and he released you, crossing to the console and accepting the message.

Hux appeared in hologram form. “Supreme Leader,” he said, voice even more snivelly through the broadcast. “We received a distress signal from Orinda. Multiple Resistance fighters have been detected on radar. Requests for response from the officers stationed there have gone unanswered.”

The joints in your body locked. Your mouth opened, but nothing came out.

“Permission to dispatch TIE units, sir,” Hux said.

Kylo was still. “Dispatch.”

“Yes, sir.”

The hologram winked out. Before you could process, your feet were moving you toward the door.

“I gotta go.” Your pulse pounded in your temple. The entirety of your crew was down there. By themselves. “I gotta go there. I gotta get there. I’m sorry, I know I said I would repair your ship but--”

“Stop.” 

“--it’s probably for the best anyway, I just gotta find some way there, I--”

He spoke your name like a command. You stopped. Stared into his tired, empty eyes. 

His chest fell in a small sigh. “We’ll take the Buzzard,” he said. “Come.”

Kylo Ren tread past you, through the blast doors, into the hallway. The tatters of your bewildered heart weren’t a priority right now. You followed him--your Supreme Leader.

[nono-bunny]

I'm pretty sure what Mai gives the Kiryuus to keep them warm are actually scarves rather than blankets given that they wear them around their necks- unless they're just being like, really weird and no one bothered to correct them lmao

The gif you attached here is probably straight up my favorite shot in the franchise so far, it was BEAUTIFUL!!

I know Kaoru and Michiru come back at the end of the season (and apparently appear in Otona which is cool!), somehow, but I got very attached to them and I'm really sad that very soon they're likely just gonna be missing for like twenty episodes. They're the natural evolution of Kiriya in all aspects, and as much as it is a rehashing of the same thing they did with him it still works just as well- even better, actually, because being given more time with them than we got with Kiriya really helped establish their connection to the world at large rather than just to (one of) the cures. Also, I can just tell that when the show was airing there were absolutely girls that found themselves relating to them the most- their alien, fish out of water vibes aren't too dissimilar from how being in school can feel like sometimes, and I'm glad that the show made it a point to have others acknowledge that they're weird, but still just as worthy of and as friends.

This episode did a subtle thing I really liked, which was refer to off-screen events in a way that fleshes out the daily life of these girls more than what we get to see. Specifically, apparently Michiru went out of her way to tutor Saki- we never see that happening, it isn't actually relevant, but knowing that even when we don't see them the Kiryuu sisters keep getting more attached to the cures and to their new lives on the Land of Greenery feels important. Ironically enough, initially I thought Michiru would be the one to get attached quickly, but she hasn't really had the equivalent personal progress to Kaoru, so this kinda felt like a way to balance things out a bit without "wasting time" on a Michiru focused episode- personally I wouldn't have complained about more Kiryuu episodes lol, I doubt anyone would but tbf they probably wanted to get to the next general soon because we already kinda get how things are gonna end with the Kiryuus. This also reaffirms that these two do indeed act independently sometimes- we just don't get to see it because we basically only see the days where attacks happen lol

I'm genuinely a really big fan of how they portray the different strengths of Saki and Mai. In the Kiryuus' first episode when they got into the fight with Hitomi and the cures split up to try and smooth things over, both of them achieved their goal through their different methods- Saki used her endless positivity and optimism to cheer up Hitomi, and Mai used mostly pathos to convey to the Kiryuus why they hurt Hitomi. This episode on the other hand once again showed Saki's tendency to see the best in everyone and make friends out of them which really impacts the Kiryuus, with Mai who is the more observant and cautious of the two realizing that something's wrong before Saki's naivety can hurt her too much. Idk how much sense I'm making with this, but my point is that I really enjoy the balance these two have in regards to how they approach things.

Also, hurray to Kazuya for always being charming and sweet and rarely disruptive to the overall narrative- he's fr such an improvement over Fujipi, and I was glad to see him appear for a bit this episode. Saki's "call me ____" recurring gag is cringy and funny in all the right ways, and it's definitely more easily digestible than Nagisa becoming basically incapable of speech next to her crush every time. Idk if the one sided crush works better this season because the object of affection is more interesting or if because they just got better at balancing the focus and magnitude given to it, but if future seasons have more romance, I hope they keep it up and don't slide backwards haha

Precure Day 119

Episode: Futari wa Precure Splash Star 21 - “Shine in the Night Sky! Starlight Friends” Date watched: 6 May 2019 Original air date: 2 July 2006 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/M57LaTA Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

I think I’ll try defying gravity

Keep reading

[mejomonster]

Yup.Kenzan came out in 2008,and a good chunk of the plot revolves around the relationship between Majima and Kiryu.The main plot of the game actually has a full translated series of videos by KHHSubs on YouTube.Although,there's a few errors in it,you'll still be able to totally understand the story.I won't say too much,but even Kiryu's other relationships in that game (like with Haruka,Date,and his love interests) are pretty fascinating.And maybe they're something more like potential past lives.It can be pretty nice to work off that view of it.

The pair you have to watch for is half Mine.I can't say a whole lot due to spoilers,but you'll have to keep a close eye on what he says,what's pushing him,and his behavior.I'd be happy to explain more whenever you're done with 3.

There's definitely some super worthwhile stuff at the end of the construction bit in K2.I'm trying to play through it myself right now so that I can experience the party interaction,and a semi-private Kiryu and Majima conversation.I've seen vids on both.The first one including all the correct responses which will be very useful.

Your interpretation of Majima after having played 0 first is honestly a lot better than most people's.Its true that in the original 1 and 2 he was much more of a focused crazy (especially in 1).While in 2,we started to see more of his serious side not unlike K2.3 presents some very analysis worthy Majima,too.

And Dead Souls definitely looks like something I'd want to try to play,too.Its got some err very interesting substories- like one between Daigo and Majima- and an overall story that I want to look at for myself.

Thank you for all of this! <3

Mmmm if you end up getting Dead Souls before me, please ee tell me what you think of the gameplay. Yeah I um 1. Intensely miss playing majima, yakuza 0 spoils people with 2 full main playable characters , so playing like 4 people is tempting. Also I really would like to see majima and ryujis whole sections, now that I know who more of these characters are now. Also I love genre Mashups so concept itself is tempting for the stories and whatever wild things it can allow for.

I'll look up the KHHSubs kenzan videos cool! I knew they did ishin videos.

Oh man there's correct answers to the construction side game talks later! Thank you for that heads up! Mm I may wanna check out more of that side game area then before I finish the game... I keep playing these games for like 30-60 hours then once the game hints I'm near the end I tend to just really get excited to see the end and start the next, so I'm missing like 60-70% of the game as far as that % complete says ToT which I'm hoping is at least like 50% high score stuff maybe and not story. But I definitely know when I go back to replay them next time, I'll have new substories and portions I just didn't get to yet. Which in a way is fun knowing there's more enjoyable stories to see even when I'm done.

(Mildly related but if you happen to like games where a LOT of the actual game stuff pays off with story, I highly recommend Nier Automata. One thing the yakuza series really does well is all the player time is mostly spent paying off with stories/side stories or mini games You choose to do - no required level grinding or material harvesting for things with no story payoff, no required hours of play to accomplish an objective that has no payoff. I can waste hours at the karaoke or bowling but one usually get a fun music video or story, and two it happens early so if I choose to keep doing it then it's optional for my own fun. I've played games where I spent over half the gameplay time level grinding or harvesting stuff, often with no story movement and not cause I enjoyed the task a bunch - compared to a fun optional mini game lol. So like I really appreciate that quality in yakuza, I don't feel my time is wasted, I'm always doing story relevant stuff I find fun or optional stuff cause I enjoy it. Nier Automata is like that- every side quest has an interesting side story related to the themes of the game or making the main story richer, mini games are optional if you find them fun - though not as many or as silly as yakuza lol, and if you do choose to grind for some weapon upgrade the weapons have stories which is their own little thing. Weapon upgrades are optional, and level grinding isn't required to beat the game by any means, so it's stuff you only have to do if you enjoy it. Nier Automata has an absolutely amazing story, but it also is really fun for you know not wasting player time and having a lot of care for its story and side stories.)

Whenever I play 3 and start/finish liveblogging yeah I'd love to discuss that game more!

[mrawkweird]

Top 5 favorite Male and Female Wrestlers and Why?

Edge: I think he can be responsible for officially getting me back into the world of wrestling full time back in 2004-05. His run towards becoming a champion and how psychotic and obsessed it made him was just really cool to me. The night he cashed in the MITB contract to become WWE Champion was just so special for many reasons. it solidified what that briefcase could mean for years to come, it gave the people someone that could actually topple "Super Cena" and it finally gave Edge the very thing he's burned every single bridge to get. He's the first and for a time only bad guy that ever made me actually root for them. Not to mention he had the most badass theme and entrance on the roster and today that still holds true. It is impossible for anyone to be cooler than Edge to me.

Victoria: She was and always will be not the lady to mess with. Victoria was right up there with Edge for me in the realm of psychotic badasses. Hell, I even hoped they would end up being paired together before Lita came and showed why that spot was hers. I always really enjoyed Victoria's character though and her finisher Widow's Peak is some sick shit. Best believe I had her wrecking everybody in SVR 2009.

The Miz: As far as I'm concerned anyone that can bring themselves to actually dislike The Miz and think he hasn't earned every right to achieve the things he has hasn't been paying attention. WWE themselves are even sleeping if they honestly think they shouldn't let him have a real run with THE title again. He has more than proved countless times that he can carry a show, carry a feud and carry a championship to absolute relevancy. Miz is a main event caliber star and as the music states he is in fact AWESOME. Punk's jealous-ass can kick rocks.

Mickie James: That woman has accomplished so much in the industry and for the industry that she is worthy of every single flower you could give her. And to top it all off she's not even remotely close to done. With everything that she's doing now it should cause the person that picked up that trash bag to cut their hands off out of sheer shame. She should be right up on that pedestal with Trish and Lita and so should Victoria. Not to mention she is finer than any wine you could find in a cellar 'cause GOODT LORDT.

Bray Wyatt: Truly the definition of infinite potential because you know that mind and his creativity will never stop rising. There is no such thing as a glass ceiling no matter how much WWE wanted it to be there. I look forward to seeing what he does next because from swamp cult leader to devil incarnate to demonic Mister Rogers to slasher killer Bray has hit shit out of the park every time. Everyone should be scared and excited for what comes next because that creative monster is loose and as he says; you can't kill it.

Jade Cargill: That woman is a goddamn amazon directly from Themyscira. She has not been in the game long but damn if she doesn't have my utmost attention every time she's on screen. She just captures it like she captures her opponents in the ring because she is as advertised and that is DAT BITCH. I look forward to seeing her rise in the industry and only getting better.

Roman Reigns: If star power was a person it would be Roman Reigns. He is someone that was always capable of having that very thrown around "IT" and it took WWE such a long time to actually let him utilize that to it's fullest potential. He is the "Head Of The Table" and the "Tribal Chief for a reason. People like to bring it up in discussion about who's the better champion for their company; Roman Reigns or Kenny Omega and for me that's always been a very easy question if I had to choose. Nothing at all personal against Omega but to quote Reigns himself there are levels to this. Levels that nobody else is touching right now as THE champion of their respective company. At least not to me. Honestly in the end you have to appreciate that it took WWE such a long time because now it makes his current persona all the more sweeter.

(I'm going to cheat a bit but I have to put these 2 together..) Asuka & Kairi Sane: When I tell you that these 2 became a match made in heaven the moment they turned heel to win those Tag Team Championships you have to believe me. Their initial face run was all a bit questionable. As questionable as the name "Kabuki Warriors" was itself but it was that heel run that made it all gel so perfectly. They were fucking magic together and just played off each other so well. Hell, they did so well they were the main event of TLC against Charlotte and Becky AND they fucking won. I still feel bad about Kairi in that match though. She earned every right to get to enjoy that moment and unfortunately she couldn't. Kabuki Warriors 5 Life.

LA Knight: In my head it's always going to be "E-LI DRAKE" but he is another person that just oozes the vibe that "This is your guy, this is who you should be building your brand around" and if the company he's in doesn't get that same vibe then they better not waste his time. He is honestly what got me back into watching Impact Wrestling with just how good he was every time he was on screen. He was THE reason to watch anything they were doing and I'm not saying that to be insulting; it's just a fact of life. No matter what's about to happen to NXT I hope to see him still be able to get to the level he should be there which is at the very top. His career is something I intend to follow no matter where he goes.

Hikaru Shida: She's all around just a personal favorite of mine. When it comes to her I ain't even gonna try to be unbiased. Her look and her in-ring style just had me hooked from the get go. So much so that when they introduced the AEW Women's Championship for the first time it just seemed destined for her and best believe I was ecstatic when she finally won it. I'm always going to really wish she got more TV time during her reign as champion though. And it may just be me wishful thinking but I feel like she might be up to something on Dark Elevation and the day she finally comes back to the main show I think she's going to bring something new with her.

[ashadowofburnedoutstardust]

Yeah I'm still working on this. While I find the practice fascinating I've never really understood it very well and it just doesn't mesh well in my brain

Ok so I don't entirely understand how this is supposed to work as I've never really gotten all that deeply into Astrology beyond what can be generated on the internet and my understanding is rudimentary at best and often fails to hold my interest for very long

Isis is located in my third house (Communication, siblings) which for me is ruled by Sagittarius and the ruling planet involved is Jupiter (Abundance, generosity, positivity, luck).........

So which takes precedence??? The house or the ruling planet? I would presume one is responsible for determining how one is influenced by the other? I'm also going to assume the mutable and fire energy aspects have something to do with it as well

Well I guess I'll tackle the opinioned representations first:

a) Where I restore balance

It is not my responsibility to fix things for other fucking grown ass adults

b) Where I like to fix/heal people

I like to watch people figure it out for themselves because another persons emotional labour is not my responsibility unless they also choose to share the responsibility equally for mine

c) Where you raise people up

No one has ever lifted me up to anything, I will only treat you how you treat me. If you don't like how I'm treating you then best you rethink what it is you've done to me in the past to earn so little regard. I don't put you in a box you're so willing to climb into all on your own

d) Where you forgive people who have wronged you

Well I don't waste my energy on forgiveness as I have never encountered a human being worthy of wasting or expending my time or energy doing that for, you want forgiveness from me? You show up in my life and show me you mean it, otherwise fuck off. You will never get an apology out of me either. If you did something to upset me and I've spent the energy to retaliate believe me you deserved it

Well I'm single so I can ignore this part entirely as it holds no current relevance at all and not having anyone in my life leaves me with nothing to bother analysing anyway

No, this astrology mess only pisses me off to try and go through.

Best left to others that can mesh it with their brains in a better manner than I can

Yeah so I'm not good at this astrology horoscope thing

Say you've got Isis (an asteroid) in Sagittarius third house

Where on earth do you go looking for what that's supposed to mean for you?

I'm happy to go looking I just need pointing in the right direction 🙏

[ciaran-archive]

Serious question. How do you write long stories? Is there a technique or advice for that? No matter what story I have in mind, I can't seem to tell it in anything longer than 1 to 2k. Writing 5k is tiring already, where do people seriously get that stamina to even do 50 or 100 or 200k? It's mind-blowingly amazing.

there is nothing less worthy or amazing about writing shorter fic - i know writers who struggle with it, and i’ve come to inhabit that position somewhat myself, though i’m determined to stay in practice. it’s a different skillset, that’s all. your fics aren’t worse for being shorter.

that said i will not deny that longer fics generate far more engagement from fandoms simply by virtue of updating more often  → being on top of the ao3 tag when people first open it  → getting more clicks and being considered less ‘frivolous’ (which is bullshit, but what can you do)

if you’re dead sure you want to write longer fic, i would first recommend reading this post about writing drabbles, which i promise is relevant to the point i’m about to make.

Because drabbles are about one moment. You don't need to know exactly what happened before this moment of dialogue, or what happens next, or what's happening around it. You don't have to do any of the planning you might do for a longer fic, but you also don't have the space to let the scene lead in and develop naturally. You've got 100 words.

a lot of writing a longer story is about establishing the scope of your story, deciding what beats you want to hit. there are a lot of ways to go about this; [some people like to outline. i don’t outline, ever, so if you want help for outlining you should look at the other sources on the internet. there are quite a few.] i’m going to talk about the way i’ve learnt to do it.

so when i’m writing a short fic, the thing i’m considering is one or two ideas, and one or two moments (short in this case being under 5k). this also depends on the style i’m going for - fics with sparser styles can fit more scenes, if i’m going for my usual style, each scene takes about 700-2000 words at least and therefore takes up more space. a lot of how i eased into writing longer fics was focusing on stylistic changes - you can push up the word count of a fic by going moment by moment. note the difference between: 

They’d been standing next to each other as they spoke; now Felix turned to him in the rain, startled by the admission of weakness. He reached out clumsily, bumping his hand against Ryan’s until he took the hint and grabbed on.

and 

The rain made it near-impossible to hear Ryan speaking, but the harshness in his voice would’ve been audible through a hurricane. “So you ran away,” he said, like he hadn’t expected this. 

“Course I did,” Felix snapped. “What was I supposed to do? Stick it out and let her kill me?” I almost did, he added under his breath.

Ryan’s sensitive werewolf ears, of course, caught that. “I’m glad you did,” he amended, as though it pained him to admit it. “I would’ve - I did the same. It’s all you can do, sometimes.”

Felix turned to him, blinking through the curtains of water. Ryan was slouching in the downpour, eyes narrowed elsewhere. Mostly he was startled by the admission of weakness - rare in a person who prided himself so thoroughly on being reliable and independent. He reached out, struck by the urge to offer whatever clumsy comfort he was capable of; his hand bumped against Ryan’s, and he held it there until Ryan caught up and wove their fingers together. 

His hands were wet and cold, and he gripped so hard Felix’s very human bones ached, but he wouldn’t have pulled away now. Not when he’d been the one to offer.

it’s not even that one is necessarily better than the other - they both work, and they’re working in different ways. they’re set in the same scene, conveying the same beat - reaching out to comfort someone in the wake of vulnerability. it’s just that one is longer, and therefore gives you more room to - set the scene (rain, being unable to hear each other) - use dialogue to show what is being told in the first example - convey extra information about the characters (actually, if this was a scene i was writing in a fic or novel, the stuff about ryan being a werewolf would already be known to the reader, so i would use that space to convey something else about ryan in that moment) - elaborate on felix’s internal state: the transition from defensive to curious/surprised to gentle - linger for a sentence or two on the moment of connection

this is about unraveling a scene and making it bigger than it was, breaking it apart into tinier beats and describing each one in the narrative. what happens when you do that and your fic doesn’t get much bigger still?

back to scope! we understand, as people who read and write and live, that the part of a story that you choose to depict in a narrative is not the entire story: events happen off-screen. some of them happened before the story started, and they will continue to happen after the story ends. the narrative is only showing you an arc, a particular series of events. 

when you’re writing fic, you have in fact tremendous amounts of flexibility when it comes to the scope of a story. you can write something that is about a single moment in canon, and trust that your audience is following along because they have the context already. so you don’t need to waste time on setting it up, which often means - if you’re given to a certain kind of fic writing (canon compliant / small divergences / missing scenes / character studies) your fics will end up not being very long because you’re not reiterating what you don’t need to reiterate. your idea is small because it inhabits a small space, is squished between canon events, and so doesn’t ever get bigger. if this is what is happening, it’s good, and you should try to preserve this going forward. 

people who are writing longer fic are, simply, working with bigger ideas*. they’re not just going “what if he said what he wanted in this scene instead of going home?” and writing the bit where they kiss immediately after - they’re also going “what if this changed everything in the future? what happens if they tackle all their problems together from now on? what new problems arise from this?”

*hopefully they are working with bigger ideas. i have seen longfics that are just incredibly fucking tedious because the author swallowed a thesaurus and had a tenuous grasp on plotting to begin with. 

that’s for a canon divergent fic, presumably. you might also be writing a post-canon fic, with its own set of pre-fic events and a new set of problems to deal with. currently, for example, i’m writing a fic where akira and goro were dating after canon, broke up, and stayed together in a deeply dysfunctional way after that - and the consequences for them now that they’re forced to deal with the mess they’ve made of their lives, together and apart. so now they have to deal with: the catalyst for dealing with their old problems, which is a problem in itself, and their old problems, which have been festering for a really long time.

which forms the core of the scope i’m talking about. i have to go through a bunch of scenes to set this fic up - i need to show their old problems and their new problems, i need to explain why the old ones haven’t been dealt with already, i need to set up the potential for dealing with them and the necessity of doing so, i need to give them places to start, and also i want to allow them to fail so they can choose to start again. i know these things because i have some idea of the kind of story i want to tell. if i didn’t know this, my story would not go anywhere by itself, and i would have to start outlining scene by scene the way people who actually outline do it, and i hate doing that because then i never write. 

if you can outline and it doesn’t make you want to chew wood, then i highly recommend picking up the habit. it’s very useful, and the methodical approach is a fantastic failsafe for the moments when you (me) get stuck on your fic (breakup au) and have to stop writing for several weeks in order to figure out a single fucking plot point that will let you move forward and

anyway. 

so yeah! to sum up;

find a larger scope for your story

get in the habit of picking apart beats into discrete moments and guiding the narrative through them

learn to outline if you can

last thing - which is perhaps the most vital and least reliable - stamina. 

you WILL lose interest in half the longer fics you write. it WILL suck. if you think you know pain because you have 700 words of a fic and can’t get through the last 400, i promise you it is like that but much worse because you have 7000 words now, or 17000 words, and you are stuck with no way forward. it will suck so BAD. 

don’t beat yourself up over it. once you’re in the habit of writing something long, you will retain that habit, and be able to apply it elsewhere. the words aren’t wasted, they’re practice, and they’re worth what they’ve taught you.

but! all the scope and internal scene-building and outlines won’t help you if you do not (and this is not as bad as everyone makes it sound) actually write. you HAVE to learn to actually write. you have to figure out what you like about writing and make a longfic outline [/ scene beats notes chart / themes mind map / tumblr tag of inspiring quotes and photography] that consists entirely of stuff you love and then you have to sit down and write your fic. it is not terribly scary. it’s okay to fail, but you also have no way around this. 

i hope this helped, and good luck!

[notapaladin]

Obsidian and Blood, an overview

Do you like fantasy? Do you like mysteries? Do you like Mesoamerican mythology? Do you like ALL OF THOSE THINGS TOGETHER, set against the lush backdrop of Tenochtitlan in 1480? (Or maybe you just want to know more about the series I have been going feral over since August.) Then buckle up, because oh boy have I got a series for you!

*drumroll, please*

OBSIDIAN AND BLOOD, written by Aliette de Bodard (better known for her Xuya and Dominion of the Fallen series)

There are two kinds of people: Those who see the words “Aztec fantasy/murder mysteries set in very well-researched 1480s Tenochtitlan BUT WITH MAGIC, investigated by the HIGH PRIEST OF THE GOD OF DEATH” and immediately ran off to buy them, and those who clearly need convincing. So here I am, shamelessly plugging my new hyperfixation!

Obsidian and Blood consists of three semi-standalone novels and three (free!) prequel short stories, all featuring 30-year-old Acatl as our first-person POV mystery solver. Acatl is not, however, your average historical detective; aside from being set firmly in Tenochtitlan in 1480 with all that implies re. the acceptability of slavery and human sacrifice, he also is the High Priest of Mictlantecuhtli in a universe where the gods regularly meddle in mortal affairs and magic spells are powered largely by rituals and blood—animal, human, or your own. You’d think this would make Acatl really, really good at solving murders, but you’d be wrong. He is the least of the Triple Alliance’s three High Priests, and his god doesn’t come at his servant’s beck and call. Not to mention the other gods, who have their own deadly agendas. That’s not even getting into the people around him, who might be the most dangerous of all. Luckily, he has more allies than he thinks—if he has the strength to actually reach out to them and admit he could use the help!

(He doesn’t need to reach out to his student Teomitl. Teomitl, a confident young warrior of imperial blood, keeps volunteering. This gives Acatl roughly one heart attack per book.)

You will like them if…

I did just say “magic murder mysteries in 1480s Tenochtitlan,” right? It’s real Precolumbian Mexico hours up in here! The history of the Aztec Empire and their Triple Alliance actually forms multiple key plot points throughout the series!

you’re into Aztec history/culture in general

if a DnD fan, you are REALLY into the Raven Queen

you think blood magic is super cool and wish it wasn’t treated as the realm of The Bad Guys

you get incredibly hyped over lesser-known mythologies treated respectfully but also very awesomely (the thing where the Aztecs thought human sacrifice kept the sun in the sky? Yeah, in this universe it is literally true and plot-relevant)

you are big into chaste heroes, lots of snarky asides, highly opinionated narrators who let their own prejudices destroy them, “from an outside perspective this is cosmic horror but for the characters it is a Tuesday,” mysteries with twists you will NOT see coming, and themes of trauma/memories/family legacies

you love reading about dysfunctional family relationships in various states of repair/further destruction

you’ve ever thought “hey this historical mystery is cool but what if there was MAGIC”

you like noir detective stories but want them with magic

you like urban fantasy but want them to have historical settings instead of vaguely modern-day ones

Plot/character summaries below!

SHORT STORIES (prequels to the novels, blurbs by me)

Obsidian Shards

Warriors have been found dead in the town of Colhuacan, obsidian shards embedded in their hearts. Acatl, priest of Mictlantecuhtli, suspects a creature of the Underworld—one he already calls a foe, for it slew his first and last apprentice.

Beneath the Mask

In the Tenochtitlan suburb of Coyoacan, Acatl’s childhood friend Huchimitl begs him to save her only son’s war captive; the man whose sacrifice will make the boy a proper warrior is paralyzed from an unknown curse, unable even to rise from the floor. But who could have cursed him, and is it connected to the mask Huchimitl now wears?

Safe, Child, Safe

A toddler is slowly wasting away, the mark of the Underworld on him, and Acatl is tasked with finding the cause. But no creature of the Underworld kills so slowly, and so Acatl must turn his investigation to the living.

THE BOOKS (blurbs taken directly from the book listings, you don’t HAVE to read them in order but I do recommend it)

Servant of the Underworld

Year One-Knife, Tenochtitlan; the capital of the Mexica Empire. Human sacrifice and the magic of living blood are the only things keeping the sun in the sky and the earth fertile. A Priestess disappears from an empty room drenched in blood. It should be a usual investigation for Acatl, High Priest of the Dead—except that his estranged brother is involved, and the more he digs, the deeper he is drawn into the political and magical intrigues of noblemen, soldiers, and priests—and of the gods themselves...

(Neutemoc: I didn't mean to sleep with her! It was an accident! Acatl: I don't understand. Did you trip?) (Acatl: I don't want a new apprentice! Teomitl: :D? Acatl: ...I will make an exception)

Harbinger of the Storm

The year is Two House, and the Emperor of the Mexica has just died. The protections he afforded the Empire are crumbling, and the way lies wide open to flesh-eating star-demons—and to the return of their creator, a malevolent goddess only held in check by the War God's power. The council should convene to choose a new Emperor, but they are too busy plotting against each other. And then someone starts summoning star-demons within the palace, to kill councilmen...Acatl, High Priest of the Dead, must find the culprit before everything is torn apart.

(Teomitl: I've only had Acatl and Mihmatini for a year, but if anything happens to them I'll kill everyone in this room and then myself) (Quenami: Playing With The Big Boys.mp3)

Master of the House of Darts

The year is Three Rabbit, and the storm is coming. The Mexica Empire now has a new Emperor, but his coronation war has just ended in a failure: the armies have retreated with a paltry forty prisoners of war, not near enough sacrifices to satisfy the gods. Acatl, High Priest for the Dead, has no desire to involve himself yet again in the intrigues of the powerful. However, when one of the prisoners dies of a magical illness, he has little choice but to investigate. For it is only one death, but it will not be the last. As the bodies pile up and the imperial court tears itself apart, dragging Teomitl, Acatl's beloved student, into the eye of the storm, the High Priest for the Dead is going to have to choose whom he can afford to trust; and where, in the end, his loyalties ultimately lie...

(Teomitl: I am no longer Baby I want Power) (Acatl, to Teomitl: What have you got there? Nezahual, gleefully: A coup! Acatl: NO!)

THE MAIN CHARACTERS (in order of appearance)

ACATL “By my face and by my heart, I’ll bring you justice.” High Priest of Mictlantecuhtli, god of death and the underworld. As such, his duties include both the obvious ones of arranging funerals and standing vigils for the dead, and the less obvious ones of investigating magical crimes and keeping the boundaries between the heavens, Earth, and the underworld intact. When Servant of the Underworld begins, he’s only recently been promoted and hates it. Has a strained relationship with his living family, due largely to not having lived up to his (dead) parents’ desires for him to become a warrior like his brother Neutemoc. Bitter, cynical, and grumpy, but devoted to justice and fairness.

Has an official character sheet.

CEYAXOCHITL “Everyone has to grow up and take responsibilities. Even small, humble priests.” Guardian of the Sacred Precinct and wielder of the power of the Duality (Ometeotl), which makes her the sworn protector of the Mexica Empire and its Revered Speaker from all sorts of mainly-magical threats. Somewhat past middle age but still very strong in her magical abilities, and something of an antagonistic mentor to Acatl. (She nominated him for the position of High Priest. He is not appreciative.) Serious and devoted to her duty, with a keen eye for potential in others. Dies in Harbinger of the Storm and you WILL cry.

NEUTEMOC “Priests hide and run away. Warriors don’t.” Acatl’s older brother, a Jaguar Knight with five children and a failing marriage. Resents Acatl for not helping to support their aging parents by becoming a warrior like he did. The central suspect during most of Servant of the Underworld’s plot, though by the end he and Acatl have begun to repair their relationship. He is strict, stern, and bitter, but truly loves his family. (In the case of his younger brother, that love is buried very deep down.)

TEOMITL “If we don’t believe in ourselves, who is going to?” Acatl’s student, an enthusiastic warrior who yearns to prove himself worthy of his power and noble rank, as well as live up to the memory of the mother who died birthing him. During Servant of the Underworld he swears himself to Chalchiuhtlicue, goddess of fresh water and lakes, gaining (among other things) command over the man-eating water monsters called ahuitzotls. He is courting Mihmatini during Harbinger of the Storm; by the time Master of the House of Darts takes place, they are married. He is abrasive and proud, but also honest, loyal, and brave. And very, very ambitious. You will want to punch him several times. This is normal. (Also, I will swear that it's not just my ship-goggles being on too tight that has me thinking his relationship with Acatl is much more weighty and personal than the one he has with his ACTUAL WIFE.)

MIHMATINI “Better laugh, and smile at the flowers and jade. Life is too short to be spent grieving.” Acatl and Neutemoc’s youngest sister, a powerful magic-user who finds herself thrust into the position of Guardian during Harbinger of the Storm. Though she has no great ambitions herself—she mostly just wants to be a mother and raise children—she is ferociously protective of her family and will fight anything that threatens them. Even themselves. (Especially themselves.) Kind, caring, and light-hearted, but her acid tongue and sharp temper are not to be dismissed. "Fuck Around And Find Out" given human form.

ACAMAPICHTLI “We have always endured.” High priest of Tlaloc and a reoccurring thorn in Acatl’s side. Though he’s primarily out for his own gain and has no patience for Acatl’s refusal to play on the field of Imperial politics, they eventually form something like an uneasy truce following the end of Harbinger of the Storm. He is snarky and sardonic, but truly cares for his clergy. During Master of the House of Darts he somehow became one of my favorite characters.

TIZOC "I've always known that priests couldn't be trusted. You have just exceeded my expectations." Teomitl’s older brother, first Master of the House of Darts and then Revered Speaker. (Look, it’s not a spoiler if you can Google it.) He is cowardly, ambitious, and the closest thing this series has to an overarching antagonist. Among other things, tries to have Acatl executed during Harbinger of the Storm. Events at the end of that book only manage to make him measurably worse. "Ah There He Is, That Motherfucker, What A Tool" #1.

QUENAMI “Oh, Acatl. Such lack of tact. You are so unsuited for the Court.” High Priest of Huitzilpochtli, appointed by Tizoc between Servant of the Underworld and Harbinger of the Storm. Comes from a noble family, and is much better at diplomacy and playing politics than he is at magic. When push comes to shove, however, he can display some surprising determination. He is arrogant, scheming, and takes joy in cutting Acatl down, but presumably has some good qualities...somewhere. "Ah There He Is, That Motherfucker, What A Tool" #2.

Maps of the series’ primary setting

Setting Primers

Official Character Index

Glossary

[avauntus]

I was recently lured back to Final Fantasy XIV by their “returner” campaign (if you are away a while, log in and play for free for two weeks). I’ve been having a great deal of fun, got over my “healing yips” and jumped into group content, and finished the Shadowbringers main “5.0″ storyline.

(Yes, it made me cry. Yes, like everyone else-- I concede it is excellent as everyone says.)

Final Fantasy games always kind of...”wink and nod” at their series traditions. And thus I’ve been happily playing along (when I’m not sobbing, natch), running across the occasional call-back to threads I know from earlier in the series, going “Oh, that’s cute. That’s clever,” and not thinking too hard...until the most recent breadcrumb dialogue line for the continuation of the story (patch 5.1) made me put down my controller, put my head in my hands, and go “Aaaaaargh!”

Urianger in brief: “I think I’ll be a problem ON PURPOSE.” lol.

Theory overthinking hours! I can come back later and see if I was right. 

SPOILERS, after the cut, for Shadowbringers through 5.0 and, uh...Final Fantasies 3/6, 7, 10, and 12. (lol)

One of the very, very clever things Shadowbringers did is finish up much of the story of the Umbral Calamities by retconing the existence of the FFXIV storyline as taking place and/or belonging to the same universe of every single other Final Fantasy game all at once, many worlds existing side-by-side ignorant of each other, each just sliightly different from the next.

Which means all those “clever callbacks” aren’t just fun Easter eggs for fans-- they’re also fair game for the plot. If the game isn’t just being goofy, it’s leaning really hard into the Final Fantasy tradition of the “Oh NO Statues.” 😆

The what now?

The “Oh NO Statues” are my mental nickname for the recurring powerful, often sentient monuments that show up in Final Fantasy and invariably break the world:

 Kefka did a number on home values with these three in FFVI, for example.

Later Final Fantasy games would refine and riff on this, of course. “Oh no, the statue is a space alien (?)” (Jenova, FFVII); “Oh no, the statue came to life and destroyed our civilization!” (Sin, FFX).

This isn’t Zanarkand, but it totally could be, right?

And my personal favorite of the “Oh NO Statues” incarnations, The Occuria, FFXII. Statues who aim “guide the History of Man,” ancient beings who manifest as aetheric masked forms, often visible only to a few, whose origins are (in FFXII) unknown:

Balthier: This creature... So this is your Venat?

Cid: Ashelia B'nargin Dalmasca! Just how far will you go for power? Does your lust for nethicite consume you? Am I right? I am, aren't I. A worthy daughter of the Dynast-King! You would do well to go to Giruvegan. Who knows? You may receive a new Stone for your trouble.

Ashe: Your words mean nothing to me!

Cid: The reins of History back in the hands of Man.

And later:

Cid: To hell with the Occuria and their stones! What good a power that cannot be harnessed? Baubles best-suited for study, no more.

Vayne: We conquered two kingdoms, that you might study these "baubles."

Cid: Oh, I am grateful for the sacrifice. Without it, manufacted nethicite would have eluded us - an unrivaled weapon. Tell me, Venat. Have I not been an apt pupil?

Venat: My counsel did but guide your able hand. Through power of Man, the Stones did you perfect. Yes. So much accomplished in six fleeting years. Man's fervor o'er all obstacles prevailing.

Cid: Our lives are much too short. You undying might waste long centuries away, but we, I fear, cannot.

Vayne: Just so. Had we more time, we might have used more "prudent" measures.

Cid: Your greatest work still lies before you. Not lightly will the Occuria allow you to wrest the reins of History from their grasp.

Venat: Indeed. What claim does Gerun have on history's reins... seated on throne immortal, rent from time? For your ascendance, Vayne, I offer prayer. May you attain all that which is your due.

Vayne: Attain it I shall.

This is... fascinating, because it is heavily implied by a different storyline in FFXIV that Ivalice and the events of FFXII, exist somewhere in the worlds that were shattered from the Source that was FFXIV’s ‘main world.’ There is even an Ivalice in FFXIV, but it is NOT the one we know from FFXII-- Fran exists in FFXIV as a general of Dalmasca, and to all appearances (that I’ve seen, so far), a key difference is Balthier never existed, or never left his position in the Empire.

(On realizing this, I took a good minute to be amused that Balthier really WAS the “leading man” as he so often trumpeted, that apparently so much depended on his existing in his bravura sky piratery, all unknowing-- bless.)    

As Ivalice exists -- well, the ‘Occuria’ are much like Emet-Selch and the other Ascians, aren’t they? “...seated on throne immortal, rent from time...” indeed.

Of course, in FFXIV, we’ve struck down most of the “relevant” Ascians by the end of Shadowbringers so what then? Almost certainly, the last “sane” one is gone. 

But what’s interesting to me is this: Emet-Selch asked us to remember his people, and he mentions the three Ascians we know as antagonists-- but every single time he talked about his “purpose” it wasn’t to save the named Ascians. It was to save some unnamed other or others, his “lost friends and loves”-- one of which is heavily implied to be connected to the player character. 

(There’s a whole “fragments of a shredded soul thing,” but-- ‘we don’t have time to get into that’ meme-- here.)

The other-other Ascian that is eluded to --heavily-- in the run-up to the end of Shadowbringers 5.0 is the Unnamed Fourteenth-- the Paragon who turned away from the other Ascian councilmembers when the details of their plan to save their civilization and the toll that would be paid were revealed. I think we’re meant to think this conscientious objector is the one who summoned the Light, to grant autonomy to mortals rather than guide them towards a destiny that would serve the Ascians’ return, even if the mortals were “shadows” of what had come before the worlds were split.

Beyond a lot of breadcrumbs, we don’t get much more than that in the ending bit of 5.0, but that sure sounds like Venat to me.

Venat was always portrayed by a woman voice actor, despite the Occuria being “genderless,” and...

OK, so...what does this have to do with nethicite?

In FFXIV, “manufactured nethicite” exists -- it’s called White Nethicite Auricite (oops!) and the Scions (the faction our character belongs to) use it to trap Ascians’ will and shatter their energies.

It’s also heavily implied that if natural auracite is allowed to feed on mortal souls and imbued with aether (energy), it will cause mortals to go insane. The Ivalice raid sequence spells all this out, but in short-- your fears and desires are made manifest in exchange for your life energy. Over time, auracite exposed to mortals gains a low-level chaotic will of its own, like the One Ring in Tolkien’s works.

It is, in short, a staggeringly insane idea to propose putting your soul into a soul-eating crystal as Urianger is doing. And Urianger has no way of knowing this, of course, but this will of the nethicite in FFXII came from the Occuria -- their tools to “guide the History of Man.”

There are no more unsundered Ascians left worth mentioning (Elidibius, lol), but the energy of that Unnamed Fourteenth is out there scattered in the Light-- and this is “White [light] Auracite.” Despite everything, I don’t know that the Light are all sunshine and rainbows for mortals. For one, they like stability. 

If the Scions start unknowingly imbuing themselves with the powers of Ascians by merging themselves with insane immortal chaos crystals (!!), they may manage to bring about the Eight Umbral Calamity and the end of civilization anyway by unbalancing the world(s) themselves.

...Wouldn’t that be a kick in the pants for Emet-Selch? I mean, if the main character hadn’t had to put him out of his misery already. (*sob*) 

[salsa-and-light]

“A note to my followers: I am 100% aware that arguing with this person will go absolutely nowhere. Please do not waste any significant amount of your time.”

I don't think that you realize how close-minded(read: cultish) it makes you sound when you assume that a person with criticism is some boorish idiot and when you discourage people from engaging with people you don't agree with.

I think you've forgotten that I'm a person, not some caricaturistic symbol of an ever-present evil.

I spent most of yesterday in the church choir and then volunteering for a local theater troupe while wearing reindeer antlers.

Most days I'm just a fun friendly jester, the fact that I'm criticizing you is because this is an important issue.

Being flippant does not reflect well on you.

“I’m going to address a couple points here and then leave well enough alone after that. “

Except you didn’t.

You put a bunch of block quotes of tangential relevance and just expected that your personal interpretation would suddenly appear to me.

Which shows that you either lack either the critical ability or the empathy to imagine other perspectives; which virtually guarantees that you are also unaware of your potential biases.

Hence why we are speaking in the first place.

“You promote a false gospel - one that says grace means sin doesn’t matter (or specifically sexual sins that you approve of…”

So close and yet you miss the mark.

Not once did I ever say that grace validates sin.

I very specifically criticized your personal interpretation of what sin is, which seems to include whatever sexual acts you personally *don’t* approve of.

“- I bet there’s a lot of things you would still consider worthy of condemnation.)”

Yeah- obviously.

That should have been your first hint that I am not being dismissive of sin as a concept.

But it’s very telling that you consider a rejection of your personal moral vision to be a rejection of morality itself.

And by telling, I do mean arrogant. It doesn't reflect well on you.

“Whether that sin is lust…”

Lust still isn’t a sin, nor have to supported your opinion.

I’m fairly certain that you consider Matthew 5 to be support of that idea, which it isn't.

I might be able to explain why we're having this difference of opinion if you were able to articulate how you came to yours.

But you didn't articulate it, which makes me suspect that you don't know how you came to that conclusion and that you're just repeating a first impression or the conclusion of someone else.

“The Gospel doesn’t say our sin is no longer sin. It says our sin is paid for.”

Yes I know. That was a part of my point in fact.

So do you care to explain why you think that Queer people are committing some unique sin that leaves them “essentially about to jump off a spiritual cliff”?

Because I’m struggling to see this as anything other than a declaration that you think that homosexuality is some unique sin that puts Queer people in a particular spiritual danger and that indeed that their sins are not “paid for”.

“When we tell “queer” Christians”

You know..

I’m not unaware that I can be a cutting writer, it’s most often intentional, because I believe that if you aspire to cast judgment onto the lives of millions of people you don’t know, then you should be tough enough that I don’t need to handle you with kiddie gloves.

And by that same token I do notice when little linguistic ticks start to imply derision.

I understand that you’re having big feeling about being criticized and that can be very difficult, but you chose to wade into this issue, you don’t get to get complain that the water is cold when you jumped into the deep end.

“When we tell “queer” Christians (or straight Christians for that matter) that they are sinning when they have sex outside a heterosexual marriage…”

…you’re repeating unbiblical folk belief.

That’s what you’re doing when you do that.

No passage of scripture says that.

“we are not saying that God’s grace is insufficient for them. We’re saying God’s grace is big enough to cover every sin, including sexual sins.”

Sure, yeah that definitely an indirect implication.. but the explicit statement is that certain conditions(i.e. marital status & gender) make sex sinful.

..which is a problem -because these claims are unsubstantiated.

They’re opinion, they’re folk tradition.

I find it strange that you’re trying to broaden the scope of this idea to something vague and unobjectionable; -because I wasn't criticizing the Gospel, I was specifically criticizing your moral claims about the nature of sex and lust.

It gives the distinct impression that you’re trying to doge the question of where you got this idea in the first place.

“But if someone clings to their sin and doesn’t want it forgiven, then God will not forgive it.”

Well that’s very interesting theological presumption.

I won’t bother disputing it, but I will say this:

If God’s grace is dependent on us having a perfectly accurate moral understanding of all of our personal sins for which we must repent individually or in category.. then all of this is moot because none of us are capable of doing that and we are all therefore beyond the bounds of grace.

So I very much doubt that you actually believe that.

What I suspect is that Queerness as a subject is so uncomfortable for you that you can not conceive of it in the same category as your own sins so you have to make a new category which justifies your campaigns against it.

It's un understandable course of action, but it is not a moral one.

I'm still going through your whole blog, so I may find an answer, but why is queer attraction so bad? Lust is lust, and in my opinion, if it's a sin when it's two ladies, it's a sin if it's a lady and a dude. Then again, the Catholic side of my family has been nothing but supportive regarding my queer identity, and I'm not gay as much as I am asexual. Just a query.

I don’t see anything wrong with asexuality. The Bible never says there’s anything wrong with not wanting to have sex. In fact, the Apostle Paul calls it a blessing (although he notes in that passage that he’s speaking on his own, not from God).

You’re right that lust is always bad. God created sexuality for specific purposes, and He designed it to be used in the marital union between one man and one woman. Anything outside of that marital union is not good. That includes sex outside of marriage and homosexual relationships.

The only reason why Christians focus so much on homosexuality is because we see people tying this particular sin into their identity, which is a fatal error. We focus on it out of concern for those who are essentially about to jump off a spiritual cliff.

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Best of 2020

Better late, than never. I enjoy seeing other people’s top-10 lists and I said I’d do one for 2020, so here we go. I haven’t had the chance to watch EVERYTHING I wanted to, but you’ve got to pull the trigger at some point. When the Academy Awards took place on Sunday, I felt like I hadn’t seen ANYTHING nominated but I could remember dozens of times where I felt like I wasted my precious minutes with cinematic detritus. I assumed putting this list together would be easy. It wasn’t. I’ve got a lot of runner ups but for now, here are my Top 10 “Best” (by which I kind of mean my favorite) movies of 2020:

10. Never Rarely Sometimes Always

Never Rarely Sometimes Always gave me a lot to think about. On the surface, it's about a teenager who has to travel outside of her hometown to get an abortion, but it could've been any kind of procedure she's uncomfortable (or unable) asking her parents for. It's about the lengths she has to go to when her main source of support is cut off. You feel uneasy throughout, wondering what lengths the girls will have to resort through and whether something horrible is just around the corner. For this reason, I think many parents would find the film enriching.

9. Mank

I haven’t posted my review of Mank yet - just haven't had the time so consider my star rating for it "spoiled". If you don't know, it's about Herman J. Mankiewicz (Gary Oldman) and the time he wrote Citizen Kane for Orson Welles. I can’t call Citizen Kane one of my favorite films, but I do often think of it. The story, the characters, specific shots, the overall look, etc. Every time I revisit it in my memory, my appreciation for it grows and in a way, Mank helps complete my relationship with the film. For that reason, I foresee myself revisiting Mank in the future - probably as part of a double-bill. I’d love to see it enough times to memorize some of Gary Oldman’s best lines.

8. One Night in Miami

One Night in Miami addresses the present while being set in the past but something about it clicked with me more than Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom. It's essentially a series of long conversations, the kinds that force you to really examine tough questions and see these legendary figures as normal people. Unlike Mank, it isn't so much the individual lines that stand out, it's more the vibes you get from the exchanges. Out of all the movies on this list, it's probably got the best ensemble cast.

7. Sound of Metal

I'm sure you've seen that clip from Un Chien Andalou where an eye gets sliced with a razor? It gives me the willies just thinking about it because if I were blind I wouldn't be able to watch movies or draw. In Sound of Metal, we're dealing with a career cut short because of deafness but the dots are easy to connect.  I immediately connected with this movie, which made its ending feel like a punch in the gut.

6. Tenet

I keep telling myself that I won’t love a movie Christopher Nolan directs just because his name is attached to it. Hopefully, this doesn't make me a fanboy, despite my falling for pretty much everything he's released. I love how ambitious Tenet is. The plot is so complicated but then again it isn't because once you're able to grok the mechanics of its reverse-entropy technology, you'll probably figure out most of the plot's mysteries. For me, that was the fun part. It felt good to see my understanding of the story and theories confirmed. I'll be watching it again once groups can gather so my friends and I can discuss everything in detail.

5. Trial of the Chicago Seven

I know The Trial of the Chicago Seven fudges history in ways certain people would say is irredeemable but I never go into a film “based on true events” assuming liberties won’t be taken. At the end of the day, I care about being entertained. My enjoyment was also amplified by the fact that I didn't know what the verdicts would be - my American history is spotty, at best. It's got laughs, outrage, drama, and inspirational moments. Aside from romance, you've got pretty much all the bases covered.

4. Palm Springs

Out of all the pleasant surprises of 2020, Palm Springs was the biggest. I thought the Groundhog Day thing was played out and the 0-star-worthy Love Wedding Repeat did nothing to convince me otherwise. Then, this movie comes along and does everything you want in one of those movies, and then some. Not only did Palm Springs give me the romantic comedy I'd been craving for (feels like we haven't gotten a good one since "Crazy Rich Asians" it also examines what love and relationships mean through smartly written metaphors.

3. Possessor

No, I didn’t put this movie on the list just because it’s Canadian; Possessor is on this list because it’s the most unsettling movie of 2020. I mean that in a good way. I've already talked about how unsettling the premise is but it's also the execution. Those bizarre “dream” scenes with the different identities merging in unnatural ways is unforgettable. That mask of Tasya's face, half-melted is already creepy enough, when worn by Christopher Abbott as he re-enacts her memories is just so weird it makes you wonder if you’re actually seeing what you’re seeing, or if you’re going mad. Then, there's that shot with the fingers at the end! Makes me wince just thinking about it.

2. Soul

During the Oscars, I get a little mad at Pixar. They effortlessly churn out these masterpieces that mean no other studio has a chance of winning an Academy Award for the Best Animated Film category. It makes me wonder if the voters even bother to watch the competition but I don't think anyone could argue against Soul. It's among their best films. It’s gorgeous, profound, and modern without showcasing any issues that might flush your day down the toilet.

Runner-Ups:

Enola Holmes

I never believed Enola Holmes would end up on my "Best of the Year" list but this movie is a lot of fun. If you haven't seen it yet, you should. Just wanted to remind you.

Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) I was disappointed when audiences didn’t seem interested in Birds of Prey. Seeing Margot Robbie go all-out and given a script that actually makes good use of her character was lots of fun. I also found it refreshing to see a superhero movie (not really, but kind of) that didn’t involve a plot to destroy the world, upheaval all of civilization, or shoot a giant beam into the sky. I think this is one people will discover down the line and go “why didn’t I go see this in theaters when it was playing?”

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm I’m not 100% in love with Borat 2 but boy am I looking forward to showing it to people who have no idea what’s coming. That scene with Rudy Guliani might not have the same impact down the line as it did when I first saw this sequel, but that’s ok. It’ll still have you picking your jaw off the floor.

Nomadland It’s a great movie and I might’ve put it on my list of the best… but I just don’t see myself watching this one again anytime soon. Great movie though. It deserves every accolade you see directed towards it. Chloé Zhao is shaping up to be a major talent. While before I might’ve said “Eternals who?” Now, I’m excited.

The Vast of Night Until I saw Possessor, this was my favorite horror film of 2020. I love the way this movie does so much without showing anything. It’s all about letting your imagination do the work.

Hamilton I’m still unsure how I feel about the casting in Hamilton. Everyone does a terrific job. I understand why actors of color were chosen to portray the historical figures we meet during this story. It still doesn't sit 100% comfortable with me. Then again, who can argue with those results? I’ve seen the movie twice and the songs are still playing in my head.

1. Promising Young Woman

I only had so much before this post went up. Enough for one more movie. It was a tossup between The Father, Judas and the Black Messiah, and Promising Young Woman. As you can imagine, I’m pretty satisfied with the choice I made. Writer/director Emerald Fennell takes the rape-revenge genre and reshapes it into something that feels completely new. Like many of the other films on this list, it also feels relevant to what’s going on today. There are many reasons why I could’ve given it this slot. The writing, the performances, the way it puts your stomach in knots as you wonder what’s going to happen next, the pitch-perfect ending… but I’m going to pick a more personal reason. I try to look at films as snapshots of when they were made. There’s a part of me that winces when I look at Gone with the Wind but I’m also able to take a step back and say “but other than that…” and then just enjoy the movie. In Promising Young Woman, the past is confronted in a way that made me pause and think about two movies on my shelf: Wedding Crashers and American Pie. The Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson comedy, in particular, has a lot of questionable bits of comedy, bits made even more eyebrow-raising by the fact that it isn't an "old" movie whose entire cast is now dead. Let’s just say that when a movie makes me go “This movie is replacing X”, makes me think this hard about things, and does everything else you want in a thriller… it’ll stick in your head for a long time. That's why I'm calling it the best/my favorite movie of the year.