#“so they died and they were all sad even though they didn't have to stay dead?? but she couldn't come back because he remarried??”

[worldofkuro]

Painted Smile

Painted Smile XXXVIII

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Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.

Notes: My dears... I am so sorry for the wait. For those who are still there, here is Alastor POV, I hope you'll enjoy it. I loved writing it, even if it was hard sometimes: Alastor's psyche is... hard to understand. Please do share your opinion ! 18k words for today. TW: Alastor's mind, near death

Being a father was an experience. Not good, not bad… A simple experience.

After you gave birth, the doctor had told him that you lost too much blood and that you needed to stay at the hospital for a few days. He nodded while staring at you and the baby in your arms. Even though you almost died, you were beaming tiredly at him with so much pride. 

The next days were a lot to take in, your parents came to you, then his own mother. He could only smile at her as she congratulated you and him for becoming parents. He didn’t think he was the one who needed to be congratulated but he would take the attention nevertheless. 

Alizée came on the fourth day, being her unoriginal boring self. She congratulated you and almost burst out in tears when you told her the name of your child. He rolled his eyes at her but you shushed him. You could be so cute trying not to make him hurt people’s feelings…

He turned his head toward the door when the former butler of the Richemont came in: Williams D’Angelo… The man congratulated you but soon enough Alastor asked him to come with him. He left your room, closing the door behind him and turned toward the butler with a charming smile. He couldn’t wait to make this man his new puppet…

“ Mr. D’Angelo… Let’s have a chat, shall we?” Alastor started walking toward the hospital’s cafeteria, never looking back. He already knew the old man was following him, after all, he was masterless if not for Maurice Richemont. He sat at a table and asked for a coffee before looking at the butler who seemed strong even after all of this. “ It seems like you are still mourning…”

“ Heh..” Williams sighed with a sad smile, “ Are you not?” He asked Alastor, his eyes trying to read the tan skinned man. Alastor gave him his usual smile, was he mourning Alice Richemont…? He didn’t think so .. He was just missing their usuals banters… That was it.

“ Does it look like it ?” Alastor asked while drinking his coffee, his eyes closed. People always thought they knew better than him based on his own feelings. He was his own master, he was the only one controlling his feelings and emotions… Even if you had power over them sometimes.

“ Well, if not, you wouldn’t have named your daughter Alice, am I wrong ?”

Alastor freezed for a second before looking at the butler who had a soft but sad smile. He kept his smile on his face, hiding his anger. Who did he think he was? The one who wanted to name their daughter Alice was you… And he accepted it because he knew it was something that meant a lot for you. 

And perhaps, he hoped his child would be as useful and amusing as his late ally… Or that he could taunt Alice’s ghost by showing her how his daughter was happily alive.

But the man in front of him didn’t need to know it. But from the look of it, Williams seemed weak mentally, he could easily manipulate him to be his own spy. After all, the man had already asked you to find the man that did this to his former mistress.

“ I guess you’re right…” Alastor lied, faking a sad smile while putting his cup on the table. 

To manipulate someone, you needed to make sure the person in front of you thought you were feeling the same turmoil as them and most of all, you needed to play dumb. You also needed to seem weak, so the person would never think you were stronger than them. They would never think you would turn your back on her, and to be able to do that, you need to be the one to ask for help first. “ I might need your help, Mr.D’Angelo.”

The butler tilted his head, staring at Alastor, already focused on him. Alastor contained his laughter, it wasn’t everyday that the Great Alastor asked someone for help, the man must be dying of curiosity…

“ I… I know who killed Alice, and I think you know it too..” Alastor whispered, staring into the butler’s eyes. He could see every twitch of muscles, showing how the man was trying to keep a straight face. “ Mr. D’Angelo… the killer is Trey Felleur, we both know it.” Alastor stared as the man’s gaze fell on his cup of coffee, toying with his spoon.

“ You… I think so too… Unfortunately, Mr.Sanglar, we have no proof and the Felleur’s name is powerful, not as much as the Richemont but still enough for us not to attack them…”

Alastor observed the poor man in front of him. He seemed so weak right now, like he gave up on fighting against the man who took away his precious mistress that he considered just like his own daughter. Alastor rolled his eyes, his smile still present. Gosh… How could someone be so weak when they knew they could take revenge ?

“ I didn’t expect you to be a coward, I’m sorry, it seems like I made a mistake talking to you.” Alastor said, drinking his coffee waiting patiently for the man to come out of his shell. He saw it. In this old man, there was a need for justice… or like he liked to call it: revenge. He just needed to make Williams realize what he desired, his own selfish desires…

“ Mr.Sanglar… I would like you to refrain from saying such words. I am no coward… just a tired old man. What could I do? I’m nobody, I held no weight against Trey… I’m just a butler..” Williams sighed as Alastor’s grin widened. He got him.

“ Yes, exactly. You might be the oldest butler in this house. Don’t you think Trey will ask for your help to hold everything ? He will surely try to own everything Alice had for herself. And because you are a butler loyal to the head of the Richemont, he will need your help. He will talk to you, saying how hard it is without Alice… And you need to play your part. Make it seem like you’re on his side… But tell me everything this man is doing.” Alastor spat with an excited grin.

He needed to prepare your next hunt. He knew that, now that you were a mother, you would pass more time with the little living creature you created, than hunting.  Which wasn’t so bad, you would make a perfect alibi if needed. 

Even if he preferred when you were his accomplice.

When he came back inside your room after making sure that Williams will be on his side, he wasn’t surprised to see Baron Samedi and Papa Legba sitting in the hospital room.

”Kalfu doesn’t want to come?” You asked so cutely. You could be so naive, do you truly think the Loa he was working with cared about your life? He only wanted to be entertained.

”He doesn’t care.” Alastor responded but he immediately saw that something was on your mind. You were looking at the baby then at him. He was sure you were thinking if he was feeling some kind of bond with Alice.

” Don’t you want to hold our daughter?”

“ Why? You don’t want to hold her anymore? I can carry her if you want.”

” Do you want to?”

Alastor held back a groan. When you got pregnant, he was ecstatic because your body was creating another living creature with a part of himself. But what he was ‘scared’ about was that you would change. That by bringing this creature in your life, you would become a dull and boring facette the society wanted you to be because you became a mother. He trusted you to not become like this. Maybe it was because Alice was just a few days old that you seemed so… protective?

Alastor gave you his usual smile, a smile that he knew you recognised as: Don’t ask questions about it. He felt satisfied when he saw you smiling while shaking your head, no matter the time or how unusual he could be, you still understood him. And even if he wouldn’t recognise it himself, it felt great to be known and listened to.

” She is such a cute baby, I’m happy you are alive and well, little warrior !” Baron Samedi, not worried about your weakened state, said as he watched the baby falling asleep. Alastor wondered if the Baron knew that you weren’t going to die due to childbirth or… if he stopped you from dying… He would have to look deeper into this. 

But he had other things to talk about. Baron Samedi wasn’t the person he was working for, but seeing the Loas being in such high spirits, the pun was intended, he began to talk… or brag about his news powers. Kalfu had given him this red cane, bragging about how he could trap souls inside it. Unfortunately he would lose one year of his life for each soul… It wasn’t that bad, what was bothering him was that he didn‘t know if you would be affected too. After all, your souls were now bound in many realms, thinking that hurting his own soul wouldn’t echo in yours would be a dangerous guess.

 “ That bastard… He really gave you that, huh…” The Baron didn’t seem upset by the news, like he already knew that his Loa was going to do such a thing. Alastor didn’t like when someone looked at him like he didn’t surprise them with his thinking, be it loa or human; he didn't like how the Baron was looking at him. You asked the man if the power Alastor had earned was his, and the Baron nodded with an amused expression.

“Am I the only one whose lifespan will be shortened?” Alastor asked, his eyes moving toward Papa Legba, even if this power wasn’t his, he knew the old Loa would have the answer he seeked.

” Logically,no. You are bound together forever, if your lifespan is being reduced, because of your deal, our little lady will also have her lifespan shortened.”

Alastor nodded, already thinking about a deal that would preserve your life.  Maybe he could ask Kalfu to take two years of his own life so yours wouldn’t be affected… It seemed like a good deal, you wouldn’t be affected and he would still be able to use this power.. But how does someone trap a soul exactly? He knew for a fact that Kalfu would never explain to him how to do it… And he had his pride, he wouldn’t ask Baron Samedi for help. He sighed while looking at you who was also staring at him.  

He couldn’t help but smile before kissing your forehead, you were always worried about what was going inside his crazy mind, it was adorable and admirable. No one wished to be inside his head, not even his own mother…

” Now, let’s talk about you, my dear. You als earned another power, flying was it?” Alastor said with pride, smirking at Papa Legba. He truly didn’t know how you managed to earn such powerful power each time but he truly thrived on it.

“ Well, it is the power to understand the air, that is her new power. She can’t control the air, she is only human after all.”

“ But… you said it was a new skill of mine? Levitating…”

“ Well of course, your Telekinesis power got stronger enough for you to use it on yourself to be able to levitate. You aren’t really controlling the air…”

“ But, the air was like a storm around me at that time.” You said, looking at Alastor who nodded, confirming your sayings. You looked like an angry goddess, it was beautiful.

“ I know little lady, I was there.  I summoned a spirit who controls the air, they are very empathic so your rage filled them enough to make a small storm inside the room. The spirit didn’t want to leave you, so you can work with them.  You will now be able to ask the wind to do things for you, if the spirit wants to, of course.”

Alastor looked at you, his smile still present. He could guess your thoughts like it was his own. You were surely wondering why this spirit wanted to work with you… He wasn’t even surprised: since you were little and you were playing tag with him, you were always faster than him, he always felt like the wind was helping you escape him… He wondered if this spirit that seemed attached to you now, had been there since you were a little girl…

He smirked when he saw you looking around, searching for this new spirit. He could see on your face, you were wondering if the spirit was there.

 “No, no”, laughed Legba while Baron Samedi was chuckling next to you, “ they are having fun somewhere right now. As long as you don’t summon them, they won’t stay next to you. Wind is freedom after all.”

“ So, my dearest can ask this spirit to go somewhere and do things? Or is it a passive spirit?” Asked Alastor, he was very interested. “ Is it the same kind of spirit that I have for my fire? Or is it different ?”

“ Well, we can say that those powers you two have are from spirits. Your powers aren’t yours, remember that. They belong to the spirits Kalfu and I let into this realm. If we ever took them back, you would be powerless.” Legba stared at you with a sadness you or Alastor could understand, was Legba giving them a warning or an advice?

“ But yes, to be clear, Alastor owns a Fire spirit while the little doll works with the air spirit.” Baron Samedi said as he smoked his cigar. You frowned at the spirit who seemed confused by your glare but when you showed your baby he laughed before stepping back, smoking away from you and Alice.

“ Why do I work with a spirit and Alastor owns it?” you asked.  

“ Well… Alastor’s spirits are trapped with him until he dies or unless Kalfu decides he wants them back. You, little lady, work with them because they want to. They can go back to the spiritual realm if they deem you not worthy of their service.” Papa Legba explained.

“ But why?”

“ Haha ! Because you are working with Legba and your husband with Kalfu, it’s that simple.” Teased Baron Samedi.

Alastor smirked at this. Did that mean that he owned the spirit’s soul? They were linked to his own soul … That was interesting and exciting news. What was worrisome was that you worked with spirit, did it mean they could give up on you..? Without Legba opening the door for them to go back to the spirit realm, the spirit would be trapped in this world… He wondered what could happen to a spirit who had lost his way…

Alastor looked at you as you shouted about your shadow’s disappearance. He really didn’t understand how you managed to get so attached to this spirit…But he truly was surprised and confused when Legba said that the shadow came back on its own toward the old Loa so it wouldn’t use your energy more than it did when he was playing around. He neared a peek at his own shadow which grinned back at him mockingly before going back to normal.

Yes, right, feelings.

He scoffed as he saw his own shadow rushed toward yours when it reappeared. It seemed like your shadow truly missed you… and so did his own shadow… How shameful.

After another hour of talking, then two Loas dissipated in the air. Alastor dropped his eyes toward the baby in your arms who was looking back at him. She had the same chocolate eyes that he wore. The same honey colour in the bottom of her eyes and yet… The way they shined was unmistakably like yours.

” She has your eyes…”

You beamed at his comment which made him smirk a little. The first time he saw your eyes,they were shining with eagerness to make him open himself to you, then as time flew, your eyes shined with curiosity for the world, feelings for him, bloodlust, manipulation…Aah, you truly were a fallen angel… Or perhaps, an angel he tripped so you could fall where he was.

Days went by until you could leave the hospital. Victor and Mimzy came by to see the baby, which he didn’t understand. Why come and meet someone they didn‘t know and wouldn’t be able to speak with them? But well, you seemed happy at Victor’s presence, and not too much at Mimzy’s. 

Being a family was… irritating. He could already tell that Alice was going to be way too sensible to the world around her, just like him when he was a child. But unlike his daughter, he was sensible because of his father’s punches and kicks. Alice was lucky that you were here to console her when she was crying because the rock she saw disappeared in the river.

When you were taking care of Alice, he was cooking or cleaning the house. He didn’t feel the need to bond with his child, after all she wasn’t capable of understanding him, so why bother?

He became more interested in his daughter when he saw that she played with your shadow, even his sometimes. He wasn’t surprised, after all she was your daughter, if she couldn’t see spirit he would have been a bit disappointed.? She wouldn’t have any use for him. But he would have to wait more, he knew that children were more sensitive to the invisible realm than adults.

His mother often came to help you, which he was grateful for. He was working at the radio,taking more demands so he could have more money for you to use. Sometimes he wondered if you would be happier working with him than being a mother. 

Often, he would come back home late, you would already be sleeping and his mother would still be there, sitting in the kitchen waiting for him. He would ask about your wellbeing, which his mother would answer but then a silence would appear.

” What?”

” You don’t ask about Alice?”

” She is dead.”

” Your daughter, Alastor! Not your RicheMont friend!”

Alastor smiled at his mother,it was cute. She thought that Alice RicheMont and him used to be friends , they were at most… business partners… A business partner he liked to piss off. But his mother didn’t find his humour funny, and that’s how he ended up sitting on the chair with his mother lecturing him about being more invested in his daughter's life.

She kept lecturing him as he drove her back to her house. As he came back home, he couldn’t help but wonder. Was he supposed to be an important person in his daughter’s life? Why? Because he was her father? He rolled his eyes, no shit. He would prefer her daughter to choose all the persons she wants to curse herself with for the rest of her life. Being a parent didn’t mean he weighed  more than someone else in her life… He sighed as he left his car and walked back inside your house. He moved toward the bedroom but stopped when he heard Alice crying. 

Fucking hell….

He ordered his shadow to take the baby before going into his studying room. He sat on the chair while his shadow approached his desk, with Alice in his arms, who, surprisingly, stopped crying.

” Listen, I don’t want to force this bond everyone is talking about.” He spoke while looking at his daughter who seemed to listen to him. “ You have no opinion yet, so why are you so loud? You have nothing to say, so why does everyone stop talking when you scream?” He sighed while rubbing the edge of his nose. “ Now, be quiet, I need to find a way to erase Trey Felleur from existence, understood?”

Alastor stared at Alice who giggled at his words. He raised an eyebrow while his shadow grinned with sharp teeth at Alice. Could the baby understand him? He opened one drawer from his desk and took out a gun and one knife. He showed the two items to Alice who looked at the weapons curiously.

” Which one do you prefer? Which one do we pick to kill Trey Felleur?” he asked, waiting patiently as Alice made grabby hands toward the two weapons. He smirked at Alice’s eagerness. “ You just want both, huh?  You know, you have your mother’s eyes…I hope you will inherit her fighting spirits.” He smirked before wincing when Alice made a high pitched noises while making grabbing mention toward her old radio.

Oh, maybe she inherited good tastes from him?

He took Alice in his arms before talking about his radio. He didn’t know why, but he began talking about his work to Alice, who was smiling at him. He even let her take his glasses from his face and it seemed like his action was rewarded by your presence. You seemed truly moved by the scene you were witnessing. Was that a big deal for you? If so, it seemed like he would have to talk more with his baby to make you happy…

The first time Alice spoke and said mommy, you almost dropped her while Alastor choked on his coffee. He forgot the baby was alive and could actually evolve into something worth his time.  When Alice said dad for the first time, he wasn’t surprised, he just smirked while telling her to quickly learn new words so they could finally have deep conversations.

You created a lot of memories, you always took photos, even if he didn’t really like having his photo taken, as long as it was for you, he would suppress the discomfort he felt in his body. You took a picture of every ‘important’ moment about Alice; When she started walking, when she ran for the first time…It was stupidly endearing for him to see.

While you were living in this ordinary life you seemed to like, he was still trying to find a way to erase Trey from this world. The best victory would be to own his soul,earning this bastard‘s essence, that worked with Lucifer. How pleasurable would it be… 

He would stay in his studio after a radio broadcast, thinking about every possible way to trap the man, while trying not to lose his mind because you seemed truly happy in that ordinary life you had right now, far away from murder,plots, blood and powers…

Sometimes, during his insomnia, he would stare at his daughter, with a raised eyebrow.

” Your mother is beginning to forget the pleasure of killing… Do something.” He sighed when Alice giggled at him. How useless.

His shadow was always with you or Alice, waiting for Trey to attack or send someone but nothing. It was truly beginning to feel like he was playing against a ghost who left the game they were supposed to play. Furthermore, you were sending your air spirit to look for information. If it was years ago, he would have smiled proudly at you, but now, he felt anger. You weren’t as sharp as before, your mind was focused on Alice which meant you were prone to make a mistake that could make every tiny step he made in the last years disappear.

“But, now that he is without a wife, he cares about the testament from his father in law.. He wants the Richemonts’s wealth.” You said, looking guilty about using your power while Alastor told you to kept low.

“ Well, he is going to own it. He is the rightful heir to all of Richemont's wealth…”

You sighed, shaking your head, your fist clenching so hard you felt your nails digging into the palms of your hands. Alastor raised an eyebrow, well it seemed like you still felt anger about this situation.

“ He doesn’t own it. Richemont's name doesn’t belong to him.” You spat, feeling anger taking place inside you making the wind around you move your and Alastor’s hair.

“ Don’t worry, we will kill him before he manages that.” Alastor said, kissing your cheek, while his hands were moving toward your neck. You sighed as he squeezed it a little, just like your husband told you, everything was going to turn alright. 

Years passed by and this is where you were right now: June 1932.

Alice was now five years old and he was proud to say that his daughter was turning into an interesting person. She was clever and witty but maybe a little too emotional, but he couldn’t help but think this was the part she took from you. After all her eyes still looked like yours, still shining with this precious glint that she inherited from you.

Which made it incredibly funny to mess with her.  He never babied his daughter, not a single time since she was born, and he wasn’t going to begin now. Watching Alice trying to step up to keep with witty banter made his chest feel … funny.

She was always looking at him like she wanted Alastor to acknowledge her. He could see her eyes beaming when he laughed at one of her comeback or when her face fell when he looked at her with, what she thought was disappointment.

That made him laugh, most of the time he wasn’t feeling enough emotions for Alice for him to be disappointed by her.

He wondered if his own father was feeling the same for him when he was a child. Was it why he hitted him? Because seeing him didn’t make his father feel any kind of emotions? No. After all, he didn’t feel the need to hurt his daughter. Which was worse? He wondered... Caring too much or not at all?

After all, he was still doing what he wanted with his daughter. He would show her how his old radio worked, he even brought her to his workplace which brought a shining smile to your lips. 

What would he not do for you?

This masquerade of an unoriginal life.

He knew you, he knew you were craving the violence of murder. The violence he introduced you , the power of the Loas you both were connected to. Playing house was overdue. He stayed quiet, never forcing you to come back to the life you had before Alice came into the picture.

He could see how you were staring at his hands when he was cutting meat in the kitchen or when he was playing with his rifle as he went hunting in the forest surrounding your house. You were trying to suppress your vile desire you both shared, why? Why now? Because you had a daughter?

The only time you let those desires roam freely was during sex. Which wasn’t bad of course, seeing your eyes flashing red while he was cutting lines on your skin, marking you as his property was a thrilling feeling. You even tried to run away from him in the forest at night, making his hunting pulsions grow.  You truly liked to be chased after, right? As long as he caught you, of course.

He needed to find a plan to get rid of Trey Felleur so you could find an excuse to be yourself.

What he feared when Alice was born was that you would try to be a boring version of yourself to protect your daughter from her parents' madness. So people wouldn’t look at her weirdly in the street.

She was your daughter, she was half him and half you. Did you truly think Alice was going to end up as a normal woman? Hah! Now that would be funny.

He never intended Alice to be normal. She was a pawn in his game, he needed her to become Baron Samedi’s protégée… He knew the Loa that was reigning over Death had taken a liking in you, and mostly Alice. Baron Samedi was very protective of children, he didn’t wish for any single child to die. He knew Marie, his mother, worked with the Loa to protect him, her only son. That meant that the Baron was already linked to his side of the family, and with how often he came to visit you, he wouldn’t be surprised that he would take Alice as his protégée. He just needed to be patient… 

But while he stayed patient so his plan could work, you were falling into your fake desire of a normal life. He was working in the shadows so you both could kill Trey and you were trying to enjoy a boring life, how stupid could you be, dearest? He worked for years to find any flaw that Trey could make, any single one, even from John’s side. 

But then one day, God heard him.The stock market crash that robbed almost all of the Felleur’s family wealth in 1929. That made him laugh so loud when he heard about it.

Now, he could work with this. He knew Trey wouldn’t let his pride watch his family name fall with all the other’s family who didn’t survive the market crash. Few did manage to survive actually, and Alastor couldn’t help but laugh maniacally  when he heard that the RicheMont’s family didn’t lose any money from the economic crash.

He knew that Trey would try to earn that wealth for himself. After all, the man was still Maurice Richemont’s son-in-law, even to this day.

What Alastor learned after years of planning and analyzing was that he and Trey were similar in a lot of ways, that’s why he knew that Trey would choose the fastest solution to make all the Richemont’s money his. Which meant…

Maurice RicheMont was going to be assassinated, he was sure of it. How, he didn’t know, but the man was a dead walking man. Now, Alastor knew what he had to do. After all, he saw how Trey wasn’t his composed self since he killed his wife. He snickered as he thanked his old partner for being useful even today even if she was no longer alive.

So, Trey wanted Richemont’s money, so what was the best thing to do?

Make it so that Maurice’s will belong to you and him. 

He needed to make Trey lose his mind, for his plan and his own pride. 

Alastor began to talk with Maurice through letters, saying how devastated he was, even years after Alice’s death. The grieving father easily fell into his tricks and manipulation. But what made the man break down was when Alastor brought his daughter,Alice, to see him. Maurice fell on his knees while hugging your daughter who seemed clueless about what was happening. But Alastor only smirked at his daughter, for once she was useful.

The two men talked during the evening before Alastor brought Trey’ topic on the table. Maurice told Alastor that he was sure the man killed his only daughter, which Alastor confirmed. He said he was thinking the same, and was trying to find clues to put the bastard in jail. With sweet lies and fake sad expressions, Maurice said he would give him everything he owned if he managed to make Trey pay for his sins.

Who was the worst sinner, he wondered.

After that, Williams told him that Maurice changed his will, putting your and his names on it, even Alyzée’s. Maurice truly didn’t want anything to fall under the Felleur’s hands... Now, he needed to wait for Trey to make his move on Maurice.

Never being one to haste, Alastor asked Williams to keep an eye on Trey, and demanded the butler to tell everything that Trey had done and if he was interested in the headmasters of the Richemont’s family. He wasn’t surprised when Williams told him that Trey invited Maurice more often than usual for dinner.

So easy…

Now the plan was to wait for Trey to kill the man, so he could frame him easily. The man was becoming desperate about earning money, Alastor still didn't really know the reason , but who didn’t need money in this world?

Speaking about money, he needed to take care of John too. The man was playing poker every friday’s night in the bar Alastor’s father used to play. From what his shadow told him, he was losing more money than he gained, and from the look on the police officer’s face, he truly seemed…. like a mess. What was going on inside the little man’s heart..? He wouldn’t be surprised if you were still the reason that brought John’s heart and mind to break. You truly were the most delicious poison, weren’t you.

But if John truly was becoming such a mess, using him to make Trey fall would be a piece of cake. In one blow, he would get rid of Trey and John… And Maurice… But it was for the greater good. The man became a lost cause after Alice’s death… So why not reunite him with his late daughter? You see, he could be nice.

Now, he didn’t think you would be happy about Maurice’s death but it needed to happen. He wasn’t going to wait for another opportunity while he watched you fall into a perfect society’s product. You were his wife, not the society's. He didn’t care how the two of you were twisted, that’s how you decided to marry him, having a child would never change it.

Alastor blinked, realizing he spaced out in his radio booth.  He  looked at the clock and grinned when he saw that he stayed inside his head for two hours while doing his broadcast. He smirked and thanked every listener before ending his emissions. 

Now, he had his plan. He just needed to share it with you while keeping some… details from you, his darling wife.

He lifted his head up as he laid back against his chair, he could feel your presence in  the building. He turned his gaze toward the door, waiting patiently for you to come inside, blessing him with your radiance.

He dashed toward you as soon as you opened the door, took your face between his hands and kissed you until you felt like you were going to die from the lack of air. He let you go, making you gasp for air, and then dove into your neck, kissing it, biting it… He was going to have his wife back, the one he married, the woman who killed his father for him, the woman who asked him to go deeper in madness.

“ Al-Alastor.. what–”

“ I know. I found it.”

“ What?”

“ Trey Felleur, I know how to make him fall.”

Witnessing your reaction was making him lightheaded. You seemed to look at him, wishing it wasn’t a joke. You were begging him with your eyes, begging him to find a way that would make you take off your gentle mothered skin, your everyday lie, to go back to the real woman you were.

“ How..?”

“ We are going to use our dear John. I know from a very trustful source that Trey wants Richemont’s wealth, he needs it, it’s very important.” He said with his maniac smile. “ But guess who will earn all of it after Alice’s father dies?”

“ … his wife..?” 

“ No, no darling. Us.” Alastor chuckled, how cute to think Maurice’s wife had weight in this story.

“ … You aren’t making any sense, Alastor–”

“ My Love, curse of my sanity, listen to me. Alice’s father, Maurice, changed his will, he thinks Trey is the one who killed his daughter. He came to me and I confirmed his suspicion. He then decided to give to Alyzée and us, all of the Richemont’s wealth.”

“ … But why?”

“ Well, our daughter was the key. I told him we named our daughter, Alice. I think he got emotional, I don’t understand it but he asked us to make Trey fall.” He smirked cunningly. He truly didn’t understand why naming his daughter Alice was made Maurice broke down, but he knew how to use it perfectly for his own advantage.

“ Okay… but how do we make him fall?”

“ Don’t you think Trey is going to try to make Maurice change his will, trying to make it seem like he didn't force the man to do it?” you nodded. “ Then, we will attack John. I will tell all of New Orleans on the radio that John killed my father because he owed him money, that is why he came so many times on my mother’s property: to hide the corpse.”

“ But why would John try–”

“ The Felleur are in need of money, dear.” He laughed, leaning back before pushing you against the wall, caging you between his hands. “ The stock market crash in 1929 destroyed them.” 

That was why John was playing poker every Friday, trying to earn more money, over and over again…

“ Trey can not lose the Richemont’s wealth, so he will do anything to keep it under his control. But if we frame John as a killer, don’t you think people would look at Trey suspiciously. Alice’s killer wasn’t found, but it was John who was taking care of the case. Trey could have killed Alice for her wealth and then used John to make him innocent…”

You looked at Alastor like you could bite him so hard he would bleed so much. You were shaking with excitement. You brought your hand toward his face with a big smile. Alastor beamed as he saw your bloodlust gaze. Oh darling, how he missed you.

“ If we frame John for my father’s death, Trey would have to act, making him more capable of making a mistake. We could kill him and then mask it as a suicide.”

You kissed your husband so fiercely he groaned against your lips. You spined him around before pushing his back against the wall. You bit his lips then kissed them again while Alastor’s hands were already moving on your body.

His wife was finally back.

Few days after sharing his plan with you, Alastor asked the RicheMont’s butler to call during his radio podcast. He told him he needed him to ask about Trey Felleur’s implications in Alice Richemont’s death. What Alastor was trying to do was to provoke a reaction in Trey. He knew the man truly did love Alice, or at least, had strong feeling for her. 

So, he needed to put doubt in people’s minds. He needed the people to look at Felleur's family with concern and suspicion. Trey would have to act one way or another. After all, the man was so full of himself, he wouldn’t accept being dragged into a scandal like this.

He kept talking with the people that called him until he finally recognised William’s voice. His smile widened as he played his part. The butler said that he was suspicious about the Felleur Family, saying that John Felleur was also working on Alice Richemont’s death, and yet nobody had found her killer, even after 5 years.

Alastor almost applauded the butler for his great acting. He managed to bring John in the débat, that was perfect. Finally this old man found his fighting spirit to bring down Trey.

Alastor kept his tone neutral, but kept asking questions for Williams to keep talking about his suspicions. Enough for his audience to begin to question the accusation, but not too much for it to be obvious.

He finished his work with a big smile. Every pawn was placing themself on his check board. How long since he felt so peaceful and excited about a new hunt. 

He asked Victor not to touch the letter he was going to receive and not to lock his room. Most of the time, Victor would select the letters to give Alastor, which didn’t really bother the tan skinned man. But now, he needed to read everything. Maybe he would receive letters that would give him more clues about Trey.

When he came home, he kissed your forehead before petting Alice’s head. You seemed amused by his smile. You must have listened to his emission, like always. How loyal you were…

“ What an amazing show, right?”

You kissed him with a smirk as Alice ran to the kitchen, already sitting on her seat. You looked at your husband with a teasing smile which made him curious. You seemed like you knew more than you let on…

“ Yes, using Alice’s butler to not be the one to say the news was clever.”

You couldn't help but laugh when Alastor looked at you with a surprise expression.

You wouldn’t have recognised the man’s voice through the radio… would you?

” You recognised his voice?” Alastor asked with an amused smile. You winked at him before going into the kitchen. He chuckled while shaking his head. See? That’s what he adored with you, you kept surprising him, keeping him on his toes. Who could say the same? 

As the Sanglar’s family sat on the table, you began to talk about how tomorrow was the day Alice had to come with him to work. It seemed like her school demanded that each child have a day at their parent’s workplace. He looked at his daughter who was buzzing with excitement.

” Really? I don’t think so…” He said with a mocking smile when he saw his daughter's face fall. He watched as she reached for his shirt, never touching his skin. He never taught her that he didn’t like to be touched, she just… did it on her own. He didn’t know why that affected him. Was it because he didn’t like to think that his daughter could read him? He didn’t know what he was feeling right now…

” But Dad, it’s the school’s project I told you about…” Alice whispered, her eyes getting teary. Alastor stared at her with his usual smile, if she thought he would stop being himself because she started crying, she should try again. But then you kicked him in the shin under the table, making him jump before looking at you.

“Of course, he didn’t forget Alice!”

”Yes, I just don’t want to.”

“So, tomorrow you will go with him for a full day!” You winked at your daughter who beamed at your words. She ran toward you and hugged your waist, squealing in delight. Alastor’s eyes widened when he saw his daughter stick his tongue at him. In that moment, he almost felt like he saw your younger self in Alice… 

Strange, she wasn’t you after all.

” Why don’t you come too?” Alastor asked you, taking your hand in his. He still didn’t forget his promise, you would be the first guest in his emission. He never had one since he began, he didn’t need a guest. But… he wanted you to come, and take part in his broadcast. That was a promise he made you, more than ten years ago.. Have you forgotten about it, he wondered…

” Really? Can I? I know you prefer working alone…”

” Yes, alone, but with you.” Alastor stated. He truly wondered what was going into your mind. He liked being alone, of course, but it wouldn’t mean anything if you weren’t by his side. His soul was attached to yours, he would never be alone anymore.

” Mommy, I want to go to the lake!”

Alastor looked at his daughter who was holding Eamon against her body, never going anywhere without the precious voodoo's vessel of his bond with you. He smirked at the view, he was sure Alice’s would become someone in the spirit’s realm. She had to, he needed her to.

Pondering his daughter’s demand, he sighed before standing up, carrying you in his arms. After all, you had never learned to swim and he still remembers the time you almost drowned in the lake. That night was a memory he cherished… After all, you almost died, you almost abandoned him… but also, you decided that you would marry him after his father’s assassination.

Sweet memories.

As you came closer to the lake, Alastor took off his shoes and socks. He stepped into the water and raised his hand toward you. You took his hand and you came deeper into the water until the water touched your knees. 

He turned his face toward Alice who was pointing to fishes that were swimming toward you, but not a single one came toward him. He smirked as he saw you trying not to move so you wouldn’t kick a fish by mistake.

He taught Alice how to swim, while you were resting at the edge of the lake. Your daughter was laughing as he kept a firm grasp on her waist. He truly didn’t want her to panic and move too much, she would soak his shirt.

And if that happened, he would let her fall in the water.

After an hour or so, he got bored, just like his daughter. He turned his face toward her. Maybe he could teach her something more useful..She looked up at him with a big smile.

” Dad, I want to learn to use your rifle like you!”

That was his brat.

” Of course.”

”Alastor, no!”

The next day, Alice and you were both dressed, ready to go to Alastor’s workplace. Alastor drove you to the radio booth, thinking about what his emission could be about. Once you entered the building, Alice ran toward Victor who couldn’t help but spin his daughter in the air. Maybe he could use Victor as a babysitter later… 

He walked toward his studio and stopped when he saw that his door had been locked. He knew he had asked Victor to keep it opened, and he knew that the man listened to his every wish, which meant…

Somebody came in last night.

He entered the room and while he began his usual routine, his eyes were looking everywhere. He knew every position of every object in this room. And he could see that some object had been slightly moved. Which meant that the person who came didn’t want him to know they had been here. If it was Victor, the man wouldn’t have touched anything.

Who came? And what for?

He sat on his chair, hearing you saying to your daughter that you had to stay quiet while he was working. His eyes traveled toward the floor and his smile widened slightly as he saw something. 

Under his table, there were many cables so everything would go smoothly, from his mic to his headphone… But there was a small one he didn’t recognise. He asked his shadow to see where the cable was going while he began his emission.

” Hello, New Orleans! I hope you're doing well, thank you for tuning in. I have my first and precious guest for today.”

Alastor gestured toward you with an amused smirk. You truly seemed shocked about his bold invitation. Did you really think he was going to let you all alone while he could do something with you?

’You little… What are you asking me to do?’

Come here.

Alice jumped off your knees, running toward him with a big smile. Alastor smirked widened as he saw the excited expression on his daughter. She was already approaching her face to the microphone, but waited for her father’s permission to speak.

“ My daughter Alice is here. Why don’t you say some words to all our dear listeners?”

As Alice greeted his audience, copying his greeting, his shadow whispered in his ears that the cables were linked to some kind of bomb. Alastor didn’t even flinch or lose his smile.

Trey finally made his move. But it hadn't detonated yet, which meant two things: There were precise hours where the bomb would go off or Trey could detonate whenever he wanted… 

Well, he just needed to provoke the man a little more. He knew that the bastard was listening to his emission. And furthermore, he needed Alice to be here if the bomb detonated…

The man wouldn’t let this chance pass if he knew that right now, Alastor was with his daughter but also with you…He could kill the Sanglar family with one push on a button. He just needed to let him know.

” And, here is my darling wife.”

Alastor watched as you talked in his microphone while waiting for something. But nothing… Well, he just needed to do his emission like always while dropping clues that you would also be there for this evening’s broadcast.

Even if he was playing dangerous games, he couldn’t help but feel some kind of nostalgia as you talked with him, participating in his broadcast just like when you both were children. He asked you to sing, to participate in débat his listeners asked about.

Of course, some men asked you if you were single which made you laugh while he just smirked while answering politely that his wife had never been single since she met him.

Finally, around noon, he ended his broadcast while saying he would be back at 5 with his wife and daughter. He needed Trey to fall into his trap…Alastor left his room with Alice and you, but not before putting a piece of paper between the cables under the table. If someone touched this cable, the paper would fall, which would mean that someone came in for this.

He turned toward you after closing his door, not locking it. You looked like you had a grand time which made him proud.

” I told you, you would be my first guest on my broadcast.”

It seemed like you were being emotional because you hugged him while sniffling against his shoulder. You even kissed him, which made him smile against his lips. He kissed you back while cupping your face between his palms.

” Ew.”

Alastor looked at Alice who was grimacing at the scene. Alastor smirked at her, raising an eyebrow. Alice could be so touchy, affectionate but romantic gestures always made her cringe. How funny.

” Don’t look at us like that, brat.”

” Don’t do disgusting things then!”

After having a delicious meal in a restaurant, it was time for him to go back. You seemed surprised that he wanted to go back so early, after all his broadcast began only at 5pm. But Alastor needed to know if someone came back into his studio.

”I think I will do some shopping, I saw a few things that I want. Why don’t you go back with Alice? She will sleep soundly. I’ll join you just after.” You said to him.

He tilted his head while staring at you. You were lying, on your way to this restaurant, you didn’t stop one time to watch something that would peak at your curiosity. That meant that you wanted to do something he wouldn’t like…

”I’m a big girl.” You said with a smile.

” oh, I know. I expected to be ‘attacked’ by the Felleur because of my last broadcast. I talked badly about Trey and John and yet nothing happened.”

” That's why I want to go to the RicheMont’s mansion to find some clues.” you said, seemed sure of yourself. 

Alastor smiled. If he thought about it, that was perfect for him too. He needed to do something he knew you wouldn’t like. He paid for the meal, kissed you on the forehead before going back to his studio.

When he came inside, he put Alice on a chair, before crouching under his desk and smirked when he saw that his paper was on the floor.

Someone did come in.

That was perfect. He was sure that if he turned on his mic, everything would explode . This was his indistinct talking of course, he wasn’t sure at 100%. But what would life become if he didn’t play a little with it?

He turned his face toward Alice who was wiping the saliva from her chin. He stood up before walking toward his daughter with a cold gaze. Now was the time to see if his plan worked. 

Alice lifted her head up toward him with a big smile. She was already speaking excitedly about what she wanted to talk about during his show. He stopped her with his hand, putting his palm in front of her mouth.

She blinked at him while he stared at her. His eyes began to redden, which didn’t scare Alice. He crouched in front of her, locking his eyes in hers. The plan he wanted to put in motion was maybe the riskiest he ever did. If he failed, Alice would die but most importantly… His eyes dropped on Eamon that was in his daughter’s arms.

He might hurt the vessel of your bond.

But he needed to take this risk. For the future…

He stood up before walking toward his desk. The plan was simple.

Blow up the whole place.

He knew he wouldn’t die, but he needed to force Baron Samedi to make Alice his protégée… And what was better than almost getting killed to force the Baron’s hand. It would be perfect, the Loa would think that Trey tried to kill him and his daughter, he wouldn’t be able to stay neutral. He would try to help his daughter, he just knew it.

He sat on his chair before his desk as his daughter walked toward him, eyes full of trust. Should he feel bad for what he was going to do? Maybe, but he only felt excitement. He knew his plan was going to work.

He was going to force the one who reigned over death to protect his daughter, he was going to make Trey so annoyed that he didn’t manage to kill them, he was going to hold you after all this.

He was going to win because unlike all of them.

He wasn’t sloppy.

“ Alice, I’m counting on you.”

He turned on his mic and a huge explosion was the last thing he felt.

When he opened his eyes, he felt way too hot and he could feel blood dripping from his forehead. But as soon as his eyes focused, he saw your scared and relieved face staring back at him. He sat up quickly, catching you in his arms as you rushed into his embrace with your daughter in your arms.

What happened? Did Alice manage to do it? Or was it Eamon who protected his bond with you? He was sure he felt the bond in his unconscious mind…What happened..? Aah, his head was killing him.

He didn’t have the time to think further as a gunshot was heard behind his studio’s door. He was surprised to see Victor and John rushing inside his burning studio.  He could see their mouths moving but he couldn’t hear anything. 

It seemed like the explosion was bigger than he anticipated, he could feel bruises form on his body. But from the look of it, he was alive and so was Alice. She didn’t seem to have any injuries… 

Did his plan work out?

Alastor groaned a little when he felt John and Victor helping him walk out of this burning hell. He was beginning to hear again, your pleas for him to stay conscious, John shouting at Victor to show them the way out.

So noisy…

He lifted his head up, his vision shaking. He could see the flames, the smoke… Was he in hell? The noises were drowning his senses, he could hear the panic in your voice, Alice’s cries.. The flames hurled his skin just like his father used to–

His eyes widened as he saw his father in front of him. He was standing in the fire, staring at him with one eye, the other one was in Alastor's possession. The man looked the same as the day you both killed him… He looked at Alastor with a smug expression, like he was waiting for his son to join him in the flames.

Alastor felt his blood boil. How dare this man mocked him. He was the one alive while this ghost who looked like his dead father was nothing more than a work of his damaged brain. He stared at the hallucination until he was out of the burning building.

Within a few seconds, he was taken away from you. He couldn’t see clearly but he could feel every touch on his body. The paramedics were asking him questions about the fire, how many minutes he was inside, if he could tell today’s date.

But it was too much for Alastor. Their touch felt like his father’s. He didn’t want to be touched. The only person that had the right to touch him, to heal him was his wife. He took a paramedic’s wrist in his hand, squeezing it so hard that the man shouted in pain.

” Don’t you dare touch me. Bring me my wife.” He spat, before laying back against the litter, his head throbbing way more than when he was in the building.

After being alone for a few seconds he finally heard your voice calling for him.

” Alastor…”

” My Love…”

He heard you sniffing and quickly put his hand on your cheek. He couldn’t open his eyes, they were hurting too much and… He felt like he would see his deceased father once more if he opened them. He just needed to feel your presence.

” You need to let them heal you…” You kissed his hand multiple times, he could feel the tears rolling on your cheeks until it died on his hand.

” Don’t let them touch me, my love… Don’t let them hurt me again.. Don’t let them separate us…”

He heard you sob at his words. You must have guessed that he was having one of his episodes. Every touch felt like knives digging into his skin, every sound pierced his brain, drowning every rational thought …He hated those moments, he felt weak, like his scars were being shown to everyone. No clothes could hide them.

” I promise, Alastor.”

” Where… Where is Alice?” he asked. He needed to be sure that Alice had become Baron Samedi's protégée, or if this was Eamon’s protection that saved them.

” She is with me…”

” This brat…” He closed his mouth, faking falling unconscious when he felt an unwelcome familiar presence. He managed not to lecture you when he felt you heal him, he needed to keep his act up.

”Mr.Felleur wants to talk to you, is it okay Mrs.Sanglar?” A man said.

He guessed you must have nodded because the man left. He waited patiently,his hand moving slowly under the cover the paramedics staff had put on him before looking for you. 

Then he felt it, his presence.

“ Still alive, I see.”

Trey Felleur.

With his eyes closed, Alastor couldn’t see the scene that was happening, but he was hearing everything. He didn’t talk to you through telepathy, not wanting Trey to notice he wasn’t unconscious.

”You truly have a guardian angel with you, Mrs. Sanglar. You were supposed to die with your family because of the explosion.” Trey hummed as,Alastor guessed, the man sat in front of you. “ But then, I heard you went to my home and killed one of my maids.”

“ This isn’t your place, this mansion is under the name of the RicheMont, you sick bastard.”You spat at him with all the hatred you could conjure. “ And she killed herself after torturing the head of the family. It seems like justice will come for you…”

Ah-

Alastor didn’t plan that you would save Maurice. Well, he could still work with it, but with Maurice alive, it would be more difficult for him to do what he wished to do…

“ Oh yes, I guess Maurice would have wanted to bring me in front of Justice. The maid was hired by me after all… She must have told him everything !” He laughed with a fond smile. “ Unfortunately for you, I came with sad news. Maurice RicheMont died in the hospital.”

Alastor almost wanted to glee in joy. He needed to thank Trey for his idiocy.

“ You killed him…”

“ What made you think such a thing?” Trey asked. “ Now, I came here to talk.” The branch he was sitting on creaked, making Alastor think that the man had leaned toward you. “ How the fuck did you survived ?”

Alastor could feel that you were scared which wasn‘t surprising. Most of the time, when a well-mannered man loses his cool, it could be a terrifying spectacle. He was almost sad not to see Trey’s face.

‘My Love… Wake up…’

How he wished he could answer you, but he needed Trey to think you were all alone with him.

“ Ha-ha, eyes on me.” Trey said,“ Good. So, how did you survive?”

“ Why would I answer a murderer ?”

“ Because we are the same.”

“ Don’t fuck with me !” You shouted, strongly. “ We are nothing alike, I don’t kill innocents.”

“ I don't either.  If you are talking about Alice, you knew she wasn't innocent. The Richemont have their one elite killer, Alice wasn’t innocent. If you weren't a friend, maybe you would have killed her.”

Alastor knew you were going to hold too much meaning to Trey’s words. Who cared about what this man thought? 

“ You named her Alice, right?” Trey said as he leaned back. “ How cute… “

“ Don’t look at her, you pervert.” You spat, the wind around you moving at your will.

“ Hum? Oh, that’s what is interesting you see. I can’t see her.” He said, “ If you remember our last conversation, I had told you that I couldn’t spy on you anymore because your powers… or should I say spirits, are hiding you from my eyes..” He lifted his head to look at you with a gold eyed gaze.

You gulped, moving your hand subtly toward Alastor’s hand. You were getting more scared as the seconds passed, he could feel it.

“ Well, it is the same with your sweet child. I can’t see her.” He spat at you before standing up. What did it mean? If Trey couldn’t spy on you and him because of the Loa, did it mean that his plan worked.. Or was it.. that Alice had always been a Loa's protégée?

“ I won’t repeat it anymore. How did you survive?”

Time��s up.

In less than a second, Alastor drew his knife before plugging it deep into Trey’s forearm as their man tried to strangle you.

“ Alastor!”

You looked at your husband who was awake and had his blade deep inside Trey’s flesh. His eyes were red and he had his usual smile that made you relax. 

“ Ahh, the Felleur really live to touch women that don’t want them, huh?”

Alastor noticed Trey’s face wincing at his words. Was he hurt that he had married a woman who never loved him? How funny.

“ Alastor Sanglar, and here I was hoping you would die today.”

“ I choose my own death, thank you.”

Alastor took his blade from Trey’s arm and the man stepped back. He was looking at you then Alastor, putting his polite smile back. Alastor  was standing in front of you, his smile never leaving his lips which seemed to upset Trey.

“ Mrs. Sanglar, are you oka–”

You turned your eyes toward John who opened the door. He stared at Alastor and Trey, perhaps he was wondering which one was the worst to work with.

“ Trey… What are you doing here?” John asked, his voice calm. Treys smiled at him while hiding his bleeding arm from his cousin. Why was he hiding his arm..? It didn't make any sense…

“ Well, when I heard the explosion I had to check if you needed help. I knew you would come here to save as many people as you could, you always have been like that.” Trey patted his shoulder before leaving the vehicle. “ See you soon.”

John looked at you and Alastor before closing the door once more. You sighed but then you felt Alastor’s on your wrist.

“ You healed me… again..” 

“ Yes–”

“ Why would you put yourself in such danger? You know I always have a plan.” He said, his grip getting stronger on your wrist. He was always in control… More or less. Couldn't you stop putting yourself in danger?  You looked at him with a soft smile, your hand moving slowly to cup his cheek.” Where are you hurt? Are you burned somewhere ?”

“ Alastor, do you know why I’m okay?” You smiled at him when you saw the confusion in his eyes. His eyes were looking at your body, you had small bruises that were slowly disappearing but nothing life-threatening. “ Our little Alice saved you.”

“ She what?”

You explained everything to him, from the mansion’s crime to Trey’s arrival. You never let go of his hand, you tried touching his cheek once more but when you saw him flinch you decided to keep his hand in yours and not touch him until he asked. There was a lot of information he needed to absorb and your touch would be a distraction.

“ I see…” Alastor said, observing Alice. “ Purple energy, huh? Doesn’t it ring a bell for you?” He asked as you tilted your head, confused. Alastor smiled at your expression, you could be so naive sometimes. “ Purple is Baron Samedi’s color, don't you remember ? Your eyes are slightly purple when you are healing me.”

“ You… Wait, Alice made a deal with Baron Samedi?” You asked, not knowing if you 

were supposed to be happy or scared.

“ No, I just think she is to be Baron Samedi’s protégée.” Alastor said as he sat down next to you.” Who would have thought Alice would have power so soon..” He whispered, rubbing his chin. He needed to talk with the Loa as soon as possible and he needed to use his soul trapping cane for someone…

You gently moved your hand from Alastor’s hand toward his wrist, when you noticed he wasn’t flinching you cup his cheek once more. He turned his face toward you with a fond smile.

“ I was so scared, Alastor…”

Alastor stared at you and took Alice from your arms before laying her down on the litter, then he tugged you against his torso. You closed your eyes as you grabbed his shirt, trying to contain your emotion. He didn’t expect you to be so upset about it. Didn’t you trust him?

“ Why were you scared ? Did you really think I was going to die?” He scoffed at you, running his finger into your hair.

“ The fire was so…”

“ Darling, curse of my sanity… I knew something was up before the explosion.” He said as you lifted your head toward him, ready to ask for answers. “ I know how I left my office, by heart. I knew someone entered my studio…”

“ So… You stayed there..?” You stared at him, confused. He could see the beginning of anger seeping through your form. How delectable you were when you were angry.

“ Yes.” Alastor stared at you with a fond smile as he stared at the wind around you moving with your emotion. “ You trust me, dear, right?”

“ Yes, I trust you.” You whispered. Your husband smiled at you before leaning toward you, kissing your lips with a twisted smile.  He adored you, as an innocent victim of his twisted game or a devilish killing partner … He didn’t think he could live without you.

But would you be able to?

That question was haunting his mind for the next few days. He was trying to keep his cool but he needed to have a conversation with you quickly. But he couldn’t have this important discussion while you were sick.

After Trey’s attempt on his life, you got sick.  

He sighed as he rubbed his nose while Alice was running in your bedroom for the fourth time in the span of five minutes. He wondered how you could be so patient with her… Maybe you learned to be patient with him? How funny…

After the fire, you both asked for Papa Legba and Baron Samedi to come to you. You were being your usual polite self while Alastor was trying to keep his thoughts in check. He truly needed his daughter to be under Death's Loa’s protection.

But of course, Baron Samedi was checky. As Alastor demanded explanation, the God of Death just snickered at him, saying he had no obligation to answer to him. After all, Alastor didn’t make a deal with Death, you did.

“ Maybe you don’t have any obligations to me, but to my daughter? I think you do.” Alastor said calmly. He turned his eyes toward his daughter who was looking at him curiously. He knew Alice was the key to having the Baron at his mercy. Alice needed to become the Loa’s protégée. 

As soon as Alastor noticed you staring off, he approached the Baron with his usual calm smile. The Loa smirked at him as he smoked his cigar, Papa Legba sitting silently on a chair in front of you. 

“ You seemed so sure of yourself, Alastor. Did you forget who you are dealing with?” Baron Samedi smirked, snickering as he lifted his eyebrow at Alastor. The tan skinned man tilted his head to the side.

” I am aware of every living being playing in my game. But I don’t like when some of them stay hidden.” Alastor stated, locking his gaze into the Loa’s. If you really had seen purple energy around Alice when she had created her shield, it could only mean one thing: The Baron wasn’t as neutral in this game of his as he let on. And if he became an active player, he needed him by side.  And furthermore…

Baron Samedi could have been the one to send the ghost of his dead father when you were helping him escape the burning building. He still thought it was a hallucination, but how could he be so sure now that he had proof that the God of Death knew more than he let on. 

You had access to Baron Samedi’s power, he gave you the power to heal, even if you had to take the injuries yourself, it was still a gift from the Death’s God. He never entirely trusted the Baron, but he thought that the Loa wasn’t going to interfere much after giving you a part of his power. How stupid of him…

Since you and Alastor bond your souls together, Baron Samedi was already in the game, but he didn’t pick a side…yet.

The Baron stared at Alastor while blowing the smoke away. It seemed like the Loa was pondering multiple options but a small voice broke the tense atmosphere.

” Mommy, it smells bad.”

Every eyes fell upon Alice who, after you asked her to show where it was smelling, walked toward him, demanding that she shut his mouth because she couldn’t concentrate on the scent. How bold of her…

” Alice, what did I tell you? When I seem to be talking alone, you don’t talk.” Alastor sighed, shaking his head but let her behaviour slide. 

“ But Dad! It smells…bad! Like ... .Like when we were in the fire but worse!” She claimed, pouting as she crossed her arms on her chest. Alastor raised an eyebrow before his eyes fell on Baron Samedi’s cigar.

He peeked at you and almost laughed when he saw your concerned expression. He was sure you were worried that Alice was… traumatised about the fire and that was why she smelled it now. But he was sure about something else.. And if Alice confirmed it right now… He would have Baron Samedi on his side. He raised his hand toward you to ask you to keep silent.

” Where does it smell, Alice?”

Alastor tried to keep his face neutral as he felt his blood boil with excitement as his daughter pointed toward Baron Samedi’s cigar. She couldn’t see him, but she could perceive him through the scent… Could she maybe hear him..?

” Baron Samedi, please, explain yourself.” You demanded with such dominance that he almost wished he could applaud who you stood tall in front of the Death’s keeper’s God.

” Well… I’m as surprised as you…” He crouched in front of Alice who pinched her own nose at the smell.” I thought she would be able to see me now.”

Alastor turned his head toward Papa Legba who stood up and tapped his cane on the floor. Alice turned her attention toward the noise before rushing in your arms. Alastor hid his smirk behind his hand as he tried to make it seem like he was confused. 

Everything was going smoothly….

“ I see you are full of questions, little lady. Alice seems to be very sensitive to spiritual energy…” said Legba with his usual tender smile, full of knowledge.

“  Can Alice really feel the spirit around her..? Then why can she play with my and Alastor’s shadow ..?” You asked, trying to calm your daughter that was trying to get your attention, pointing to where she heard the noise.

“ Well, my dear. Look at her parents.” Alastor claimed, with a proud smirk. You shook your head with a small grin. He truly was curious about how you didn’t think about this possibility. 

“ But what I want to know is, why Baron Samedi..? Why didn't Kalfu or you, Papa Legba, were the one to reach her?” 

“ Well, if we resume everything. Alastor, your blood is powerful, Voodoo has always been in your reach, it always has been in your life thanks to your mother. You tainted your wife’s blood with yours, making her able to see spirits and even to work with them.” Papa Legba recounted, his hand pointing toward you. “ Then, you bound yourself together, into the spiritual realm…the vessel being a deer plushie… A plushie your daughter never let go off.”

You peeked at Alice who had calmed down, her eyes were staring at Papa Legba’s position but you and Alastor could feel she wasn’t seeing anything. She was mostly trying to see who you were talking to.

“ Alastor, you made a deal to kill, so you could be stronger. Your wife has made a deal with Death to protect you. You named your daughter after a brutally deceased friend. Death has always been around you, so , wouldn't it be logical for your daughter to be close to Death too..? Now, the real question is: Is Alice protected by Death..? Or cursed by it?”

Alastor looked at your pale face, he could guess you were pondering so many questions and most of all, you felt betrayed by Baron Samedi. You didn’t truly think that all those Loa could be trusted…right? He sent his thoughts inside your mind, talking through telepathy.

Dear, since when has Death been on our side?

‘But he protected her when I was pregnant !’

Don’t trust him so easily. Don’t think Death is on our side, he might have saved our daughter, but he didn’t save your friend, didn’t he? Always doubt people’s will.

He stared at your face as you, he guessed, began to rethink your view with Baron Samedi’s “friendship”. You were so naive, but it was endearing. So cute of you to think Death could be seen as a friend…

Alastor could feel the Loa’s focus on you before he spoke.

” I won’t hurt your daughter, little doll.”

Interesting… So the God who ruled over Death didn’t want to be hated by you? But he didn’t say he wouldn’t hurt you. 

“ Don’t think too hard, I’m just amused by the situation. I don’t remember the last time a child was able to use some of my powers without me being summoned. “ The Baron smirked, going closer to Alice whose eyes turned toward the Loa. “ Now, this little genius should learn how to control her powers! Imagine if she used her powers at school, how dangerous… Actually, let’s just do that!”

After this discussion, you got sick for the next few days. Alastor demanded that you stay in bed, and thanks to him and his brat, you didn't argue against them. 

He was sitting on the couch, as Alice was upstairs with you while his twisted mind was running for new solutions. First of all, Alice wasn't Baron Samedi’s protégée yet, but he couldn’t put her life at risk again. If the Loa discovered that Alastor forced his hand, it wouldn’t end greatly for him. Second of all, he was missing part of the puzzle. 

And he knew who had all those details.

Alice Richemont.

He needed to reach her soul to ask her what Trey is after. Alastor was sure that the Richemont’s wealth was just an excuse for Trey, nothing more.  You and him had no clue about what happened that fateful night. All he knew was that Trey had killed Alice and her baby… But why? Was it really just because Alice was in love with another woman?

No… Trey wasn’t that kind of psychopath… Or was he?

Alastor sighed as he looked at his hand. How could he reach someone's soul..? He snapped his fingers and his red cane appeared in his hand. He spun it multiple times in his hand as he pondered.

That cane can cage souls… But maybe he could try to cage Alice’s soul so she could tell him what he needed to know. He stood up, his smile more calm than usual. Was he going to lose one year of his life if he trapped Alice’s soul? 

You would also lose one year from your lifespan…

” Kalfu… How can I trap a soul from a deceased person?”

” You are finally asking me, Alastor. I was waiting…”

Alastor turned to the Loa in front of him. Kalfu was looking at him mockingly, his arms crossed against his torso with his back against the wall. He looked around before walking toward him, whispering in his ears, making Alastor flinch a bit.

“ You need to ask the one who deals with Death..But let me tell you something I know. Alice’s soul is bound to Lucifer, which means that she isn’t with our dear Baron Samedi…” Kalfu snickered.

Alastor’s smile tensed at those words. All this for that? Kalfu was truly playing with him. The Loa never tried to help him, he was letting him do what he wanted, as long as he had a sacrifice in the end.

” Oh, and a Loa such as you can’t tell me how to do it. What a shame.” Alastor mocked as Kalfu stood up, taller than him.

” Hoho, how funny. I told you, didn’t I? This cane is from Baron Samedi, I ’borrowed’ it from him… So, I don’t know how it works… But I can tell you this: If you want to talk to a soul that has been claimed, your soul also needs to belong to someone.”

Alastor looked at the cane, his mile turning into a grimace. If he wanted to reach the Richemont’s only daughter’s soul, he had to give his soul to someone?

No way in hell.

He made the cane disappear as Kalfu evaporated in the air, his laugh echoing around Alastor. 

“ Fuck…”

Alastor Sighed, feeling a headache coming. His cane was useless… How could such great power be unusable. It felt like having a gun at someone’s forehead, but if he fired it, the bullet could come back at him. The risk wasn’t worth the reward…

Alastor went outside, he needed to find another solution… He walked toward the lake and looked at his reflection in the water. 

Let’s begin again, what did he know? 

First option, he knew that if he wanted to reach Alice Richemont’s soul, he needed to have his soul chained to someone which he would never do. Second option, he needed to ask Baron Samedi, but the Loa didn’t even have Alice’s soul, because her soul belonged to Lucifer… But Kalfu didn’t say that the Baron couldn’t reach her;.. he only said that her soul wasn’t with him.

Alastor’s eyes widened slightly as his thoughts began to race in his mind.

If, hypothetically, Baron Samedi could still reach Alice’s soul, it might demand a lot of strength and he was sure the Loa wouldn’t go to such length for him. Maybe he would do this for you..?

Alastor didn’t like the idea of asking for help. Couldn’t he have a foot in the death realm without passing through Baron Samedi…

” Alice, you are so bothersome…” Alastor sighed before freezing.

Alice…

His daughter, Alice, had power from Baron Samedi without even summoning him. His daughter could, perhaps, reach souls just like Baron Samedi. And if she managed to have this power, he wouldn’t need Baron Samedi’s permission. And furthermore, if Alice managed this, the Loa would certainly take her as his protégée.

Alastor laughed maniacally as he sent his shadow to you and Alice. The thrill he was feeling was making him dizzy. He was so close to ending all of this, he felt it.

He stopped laughing, putting on a nice smile before waiting for you and Alice. His smile widened when you approached with Alice in your arms. He needed Alice to be stronger.

” Ah, there you are. Darling, what don’t you let Alice down for a bit?”

You tilted your head but did as you were told. Alice ran toward her father who patted her head three times. You walked toward your husband who kissed your forehead. He could feel your body relaxing as his lips touched your forehead.

What kind of odd thoughts were swirling in your little mind, he wondered.

“ Today, we’ll start Alice’s training.” Alastor whispered in your eyes, his voice deep and smooth. ” Now, Alice! Do you want to know my and your mother’s secret?”

“ I already know!” Your daughter claimed which made Alastor raise an eyebrow, smiling down at her. “ Always smile and wear red ! “

You laughed out loud while Alastor chuckled. Is that how Alice saw you? Two people who always smiled and wore red? Funny thought…

“ Not quite, but close enough. I have three rules I have taught your mother, do you want to know them?” Alastor asked and grinned when Alice nodded furiously. “ The first rule..”

As Alastor taught Alice his three rules, he smirked as she eagerly repeated them. Well, maybe it was going to be easier than he first thought. 

“ Now…” Alastor’s eyes turned red. “ Do you see my shadow ?”

“ Shadie? Yes, I see him.” She nodded, waving at the shadow which waved back. Alastor rolled his eyes when he heard the shadow’s name, it seemed to like it.

“ Try to create a shield so he can’t touch you.” Alastor said, crossing his arms on his chest. 

You stood up and walked toward your daughter, kneeling next to her.

“ Do you remember what I told you? When you are feeling overwhelmed ?” You waited for her to nod. “ Then, let’s imagine, Shadie..? Shadie was being mean, so you want to be alone a little bit.” You raised your hand in front of you, your daughter mimicked you. “ Now, imagine a shield around you.”

You smiled as Alice closed her eyes, frowning very hard, trying so hard to material a shield but without any success. She opened her eyes and looked at you sadly. You smiled at her, kissing her cheek, whispering sweet reassurance.

“ Can Eamon help me..?”

You tilted your head but nodded. You walked back inside the house, letting Alice with her father. Alastor was wondering if having Eamon with her would truly help. He needed her to use Baron Samedi’s power only, not… Not the mixed powers that were inside of the plushie.

Alastor sighed before kneeling in front of his daughter. He remembered the first time you used your power, and you didn’t even have the blood to use those. Alice was the mix of the two of you, she was going to succeed, he knew it. She just needed… a little push.

” Here Alice, when your mother first tried to raise a shield, her hands were like this.”

You walked back toward your little family while he was teaching Alice. Once she had Eamont in her arms, she raised her hand again in front of her. Alastor took a step back, as you did. He could feel that this time, it was going to be different…

But nothing, Alice had her hand drown, her head looking at the ground with her long hair hiding her face. Something was going on… He made you approach Alice, after all, maybe being near you would make Alice feel connected to the power you both shared.

” It’s okay, baby. Mommy did it when she was older, you know?” You reassured your daughter. He stared at the scene as you flinched as you touched your daughter’s skin. “ Alice?”

Alastor’s eyes widened as he saw Alice raising her head, big purple eyes staring at you. She went into your arms as Alastor came closer, he could feel his skin tingled at what he witnessed.

“I’m scared… It’s cold… My eyes are like ice…” Alice mumbled, squeezing Eamon against her.

Alastor kneeled next to you. From what he knew, when you were using the Baron’s powers, your skin was always colder than usual, unlike when you worked with Papa Legba. That meant Alice was the key to his plan.. He needed her to be stronger, so he could reach the soul he needed to… 

Alastor patted his daughter’s head.

” This world is dangerous, Alice, because people like us exist.” Alastor stated staring at his daughter. He titled his head with an amused expression, curious about what his daughter could see right now. “ What do you see? Come on, tell me.”

” But I’m scared.”

” Scared? Why would you? Your mother and I are here? What could happen?” he asked, curious. Why would she be scared ? She had powers, she could protect herself at such a young age. He never had this chance…

As Alice began to be curious about her new eyes, you turned your eyes toward him and asked.

” So, what do we do about John?”

You had explained everything to him. About how John came to the Richemont’s estate when you were fighting a maid who was torturing Maurice. How he said that he would help you put Trey in jail. He had asked you to give him time, because he had too many things to process. But it seemed like you wanted an answer right now.

” Well, What about him? Don’t you want to kill him dear? Or did you change your judgment because he was nice with you?” He tilted his head toward you with a menacing smile. “ Because he plays the role of the prince, the same prince you used to read when you were younger? Fighting his own family for a dame?”

He knew that sometimes, you were wondering if being normal would be better. And he was scared that one day, you decided that you wanted to be a normal, boring person and give up on everything the two of you builded, in this world and the spiritual realm.

This thought was terrifying. Because he couldn’t be normal… for too long. He played his part of being a father, with his own knowledge. But he never said that for you he would be normal… That wasn’t him. that would never be.

So, now that John was maturing and seemed like the prince that would come to save you, fighting his twisted cousin and showing you how morally nice he was, were you going to give up on him?

No, he knew you wouldn’t. You were less mad then him, but still twisted.

What was bothering him, was that you would lie to yourself. He knew that in some part of your mind, you were thinking of a normal life. Not even for yourself, but for your daughter. He could see doubts creeping into your mind when you thought he wasn’t watching.

He knew who you were, he knew who you were going to become… Why were you so afraid of it?

” Alastor, what are you talking about?”

” Do you really think John is going to betray Trey?”

” It’s just… I can feel it, Alastor. John doesn’t know about Trey’s sins.”

”Mnhn… Then, I’ll tell you what I know. John will never stop being in love with you. If you want to use him to bring Trey down, then I’m all ears my dear. But I know you, oh, I know you. I know your deeper fears, your deeper desires…” He leaned toward you and whispered in your ears. “ You want your happy ending from your books.”

You gasped, stepping back. You felt anger inside of you while Alastor was staring at you with a big smile.

“ John isn’t my happy ending!”

“ I know, dear.  But, I feel like you want that fairy tale ending and you know… I can’t give you that… Oh well, I could.” He kissed the back of your hand, staring into your eyes with that obsession he knew you always craved. “ Say it, dear. And I shall be the perfect boring gentleman and give you that happy sappy bland ending.”

He could see you imagining that life for a moment. That tasteless life, where your only problems would be to make sure he had a nice warm dinner when he came back from work. Long gone would be the bloodlust, the loas, the excitement of discovering new powers….

“ If I asked for that life, kill me.”

Alastor's eyes widened, his grip on your hand getting tighter. You could see his eyes staring at you, mostly trying to see if you were serious. He leaned toward your face.

“  Really..? Would you let me kill you?” He whispered, his voice shaking with desire. Were you so crazy that you told a thirsty killer that you wished he killed you? You grasped his tie and forced his lips against yours, moaning in relief at the feeling of this desperate, dark and twisted kiss.

“ Yes.”

After this, Alastor began to train Alice every afternoon. Of course you were there to make sure he wasn’t working her too hard. Alice seemed to learn quickly, way too quickly. You were worried but Alastor wasn’t. Still he never asked her to do anything more than use her eyes. She could see things when her eyes seemed to be possessed by Baron Samedi’s powers, she would point at something near the forest and when you walked over, it would be the corpse of an animal.

You both guessed that she could see the spirit of animals, if they recently died. Alastor and you couldn’t be capable of such talents. While he was training Alice, like he could, he also tried to find other ways to reach for souls that were owned by entities . He read many books, but nothing came out with clear answers. He truly needed Alice to become stronger.

But of course, she was still a child with a power too strong for her.

The following nights, Alice would wake up by screaming in fear. Alastor and you would rush inside the room and she would talk about how the dead animals wanted to eat her, or come close to her.  

She would sleep in your bed, almost every night but you And Alastor could see she was becoming more tired as days passed by. The nightmares were restless, and your daughter was becoming weaker as day went by.

Alastor would look at his daughter with a strange feeling he couldn’t name. Was he affected because seeing his daughter getting weaker was slowing his plan? Yes, that must be it.

You were at home, baking your daughter’s favorite dessert, as she was at school, when the phone rang. You wiped your head full of flour before answering the phone.

“ Mrs. Sanglar? This is Gwen, Alice’s teacher. I’m calling because Alice fought against one classmate, could you come here around 4pm?”

You looked at Alastor who was leaning on the wall, next to you. You were dumbfounded which almost made Alastor laugh. Did you truly think Alice didn’t have any violence inside her? He took the phone from you before talking to the teacher.

“ We are coming right now.”

As soon as you entered the school, you hasted toward the director’s office. You knocked and entered the room where Alice and another boy were sitting, their head down. Alastor walked toward your daughter and put his hand on her shoulder.

“ Now, what do we have here?”

You kneeled next to your daughter as the director said that he was waiting for the boy’s parents to come. You stroke her cheek with a reassuring smile. 

“ What happened, baby?”

“ I’m so tired mommy… Everything seems too loud… when… When someone touches me… It feels like.. It stings…I don’t want them to be near me… It’s too much..” She mumbled, her eyes becoming watery. You hugged her, carrying her in your arms.  

Alastor was looking at his daughter, her words echoing in his mind. The feeling of other people’s touch on his skin could make him feel like this… Sometimes, he wondered how much of him, his daughter took.

He turned his head toward the boy, smiling like usual. 

“ Little boy, do you want to explain why you fought against a girl?”

“ I’m sorry sir.. I just wanted to play with her… But then, she pushed me so hard without using her hands, I saw it! She was being weird ! Talking alone ! Looking where nobody was there! …She freaks me out…”

Alastor almost rolled his eyes at the boy, what a boring answer. If he managed to bring his daughter in that state, he should have a better story to share. How boring, how could his daughter be impacted by this fella…. They were all children, he was just scared of the unknown. 

“ May we go? Alice has been having nightmares, which explain why she is so tense and prone to violence. It won’t happen again.” You smiled to the director who didn’t acknowledge you, he turned his face toward your husband. 

“ Sir, I think–”

“ Did you just ignore my wife?”

The temperature dropped, making everyone freeze. You turned your eyes toward your husband who was smiling at the man, teeth bared. The poor man was trembling, shaking his head.

Did this poor excuse of a man ignore you? Alastor was wondering if today was a day to celebrate people's idiocy because two idiots in less than 2 minutes was almost too much for him. 

“ Remember, your son is still working for me.” Alastor whispered in his ear before leaning back.  He smirked as the director paled. “ Now, since everything is settled, we might go on our merry way. Have a nice day, gentlemen !”

Alastor guided toward the exit before driving you back home. Alice was in your arms.

“ Am I in trouble..?”

“ Why would you be?” Alastor asked, with an amused smile.

“ I… I pushed the boy… I did what mommy told me when I’m feeling overw…ower…”

“ Overwhelmed?”

“ Yes, that.” She said,

Alastor just snickered at that but didn’t ask for more. Well, he needed to make sure Alice stayed low for now. He would have guessed that Baron Samedi would come to help Alice if she ever made a mistake with her powers in public… But it seemed like the Loa wasn’t that active with the living being… even those who had his powers…

Once you were home, you put her in your bed while Alastor went into his study. He sighed, he knew he couldn’t put Alice in any more danger… He would have to do it himself. But how?

He lifted his head when he felt your soul leaving your body. What were you doing…?  Alastor came into the living room, sitting next to you, making sure your body wouldn’t hurt itself.

“ Dear, I guessed you felt something ?” He watched toward your direction without seeing you. He knew you were more sensitive to energy than him, so he didn’t ask any more questions and let your soul roam into the house, waiting for you to return.

But after a few seconds, hell broke loose.

Alice woke up screaming while you were being tugged back in your body. Alastor took your face between his hands, his gaze serious.

“ What did you see?”

You were breathing hard, not being able to speak. You shook your head and pointed toward the door before running toward your bedroom where Alice was crying. Alastor stood up quickly and went to the door, his eyes flashing red.

What did you see that made you react like this?

He looked at the door, opening it and observed it.

Nothing…

Alastor lifted his head up before freezing.

A human eyeball was dangling from the porch, just above the door. And he knew whose eyes it was. He remembered staring at it when he was younger, he remembered staring at it while wishing for the man that wore it to drop dead.

He took the eye, observing it carefully. 

It definitely belonged to his father. 

No doubts.

Alastor went back inside and came toward you with a sinister look even though his smile was still present. You stared at him, hiding Alice’s face against your chest.

“ Did you find it ?”

Alastor nodded before walking toward you, opening his palm. You stared at the eye and Alastor knew from your face that you already guessed who it belonged to.

“ I think we know who this belongs to.” He whispered. 

Even if he was calm, he knew he was shaken. His gaze wasn’t leaving the eye. After more than ten years, the past was coming back to haunt him… Why now? Was Baron Samedi playing a trick on him? Was it Trey’s new plan to mess with him? He didn't feel any energy so maybe it was John?

“ Your father’s.” You whispered.

He only nodded, before sighing. He shook his head, mumbling without you understanding anything. He was thinking too fast for himself, not being sure about what thought was his and the others were just paranoid non sensed thoughts.

“ What did you dream about my baby?” You tried to smile at her while Alastor tried not to roll his eyes at you. Really? Was Alice’s nightmare more important than the eyes you found?

“ A man was staring at me… With one eye missing.”

Alastor’s head snapped toward Alice while you froze, feeling a shiver in your whole body. He kneeled in front of her, his gaze fixated on her expression.

“ What did he look like?”

“ I don’t know… I didn’t want to watch him..?” She sniffed.

Alastor tried not to put too much pressure on Alice, he knew you wouldn’t like it… But for fuck’s sake, if his daughter truly saw his late father… Then he truly wasn’t expecting her to be this powerful…or maybe she wasn’t being the one getting stronger.

He thought that the way to death was one way only. Alice was supposed to be the one reaching for the dead, not the other way around… If her mind was open, how many other of his victims could come to haunt his daughter because she became some kind of portals between the two worlds. Maybe strong spirits that were roaming earth could force Alice to interact with them.

“ Alastor… She dreamed of him. Don’t you remember, sometimes, Papa Legba would take my soul to show me something important ? Maybe the Baron did the same thing.” You said, with a soft smile even if you were shaken by this revelation. Legba always told you he would use your dream to give you information, did Baron Samedi do the same thing? But why? It didn’t seem like his usual way of doing things.

“ Yes… Maybe she was being warned, like you.” He sighed, his hand going through his hair. “ Does that mean someone has already found my father’s corpse?” 

It couldn’t be, he changed the location of his father's corpse many times and now, the man was just bones, who could someone recognize him like this? Did someone follow him when he moved his father’s remains? How could that happen without Alastor noticing? It must have been Trey, the man was the only pawn in his game that he couldn’t control or understand fully…

In the deafening silence, you could only hear Alice's little voice.

“ I wasn't sleeping.”

After Alice’s last nightmare, Alastor began to be more restless. You were having nightmares too and he couldn’t sleep more than two hours each night. He would always wake up at each movement you were doing, making sure nothing spiritual was happening in the house before reassuring you that everything was under control.

Which was almost a lie.

He could see how your thoughts were swirling inside your head, you were more and more affected by all of this. In a way, it was making him remember how you felt the night before you both killed his father. Why did this bastard have to come back in his life although the man was dead and buried. 

He couldn’t use Alice anymore, not because he was affected by how weak she was, but because the brat started talking with an imaginary friend. 

It seemed like madness was running deep in her genes, thanks to you… and maybe him too.

Furthermore, the fact that his father’s ghost came back meant one thing, Baron Samedi wasn’t an ally. He was sure the Loa sent the man’s ghost to his daughter, but why for? Did the Baron finally notice Alastor’s plan to make Alice his protegee? Was that some kind of revenge? 

He truly didn’t have any choice now, he needed to talk to his dead old ally’s soul. But how ? He needed to do this without his daughter, without Baron Samedi… But he would never give his soul to someone else, so how would he reach Maruice Richemont's daughter..?

You were talking to him but he wasn’t focused on your words, he just told you to stop worrying your pretty little head, he was going to control the situation, he was going to control everything, he was going to show you he was able to protect you, he was going too–

 “ Alastor… I think… we should make a reunion with the people… who want to destroy Trey.”

Alastor focused on you as soon as those disgusting words left your pretty lips. The nightmares must have been taking a toll on you for his dear wife to say such bullshit. He smiled, like usual as he turned completely toward you, leaning toward your face.

“ You and me. There, we can have our little reunion. Should I raise my hand to speak?” He teased you, his hands moving toward your cheeks to force you to meet his gaze. You rolled your eyes at him with a little chuckle. You always loved it when he was teasing you, most of the time he knew that he could avoid some discussion with it… But he could see that you didn’t want to back down from your silly idea.

“ No. I’m talking about Williams, Alyzée… “

“ Dear, are you asking others for help?”

Alastor stared at you, smiling as usual but his thoughts were nothing like his calm attitude. His mind was racing with devilish thoughts.

You were asking others for help.

You thought he wasn’t able to help you, to save you. Why? Just because something new happened? Well, you just needed to trust him like always and let him find a way of understanding what was going on. Fear was clouding your judgment, you were scared for Alice, scared for him but also scared for your life right now.

“ Well… I told you that John was–”

“ Aah.. His name coming from your pretty lips is really annoying. What? Do you truly think John will be on our side because..?” He tilted his head toward you with a mocking and vicious smile on his lips.

He couldn’t help but hate how often you mentioned JOhn those last few days. Now that the policeman decided to side with you, you were asking him about how the officer could help you to trap Trey. How naive could you be? John might try to arrest Trey, only if he wins something. from it. If he arrested his own family, who would claim their last richness? Of course it was going to be John.“ Are you forgetting my dear? He is our next target. Our next kill.”

“ Alastor, I’m not trying to save him from us. But imagine, he helps us get rid of Trey and then we can kill him while disguising it as a suicide. We could manipulate the press thanks to Alzyée saying he self-destructed himself because he had to kill one of his family’s members.”

Alastor stared at you as you put your hand on your lips. His blood was boiling as his mind recalled your words.

Usually, he was the one making plans and you would follow without asking too many questions, after all, his orders were always perfect.

But today, you showed him how intelligent you could be while picturing a way of killing someone. How to use someone’s death for your own benefit. 

See? You were never made to be a boring, normal person. 

You were meant to be free, powerful, proud. No cage should take away your capacities of flying away from moral codes.

The day you decide that you want to stop everything because you are sate, this will be the day he will stop as well. Because he knew you wouldn’t be lying to yourself.

That night, you made sure that you were still the same woman he was obsessed with. 

How funny of you to doubt that.

You let him stabbed you where your heart was located, you cried of pleasure while he was liking the blood from the wounds he inflicted. You asked for more of his twisted madness.

You craved him as much as he craved you, if that was possible of course. 

The next few days seemed calmer, your nightmares were still there but Alastor could see that you seemed to rest more. Which was what he needed, today was the day where he was going to try something that he wasn’t sure was going to work.

”I’ll go back to my father’s grave and try to understand what happened.”

You looked at your husband who was sitting on the sofa. He was helping Alice with reading books.

“ Alone ?”

“ Yes, I have other things I need to do.” He stood up after patting Alice three times on the head. “ Would you rather have me with you for the mansion tour?”

Today was the day where you felt ready to go to the Richemont’s estate and watch what you could do with all that wealth and mostly, find clues about Trey. You kissed your husband, reassuring him that you would go with your daughter furthermore Williams was already waiting for you there. 

“ My shadow will stay with you.”

“ You mean, Shadie?” you grinned as Alastor grimaced. Since your daughter had called his shadow ; Shadie, you couldn’t help but use it. She had decided that your shadow would be named: Shade.

“ Yes… Shadie… I’ll be back for dinner.” He kissed your forehead with a fond smile before falling into his own shadow, disappearing completely.

He sighed as he stood in the bayou, just in front of his father’s grave, if it could be called like this. He stared at the ground: it didn’t seem like it had been touched… Yet it didn’t explain how someone managed to have his father’s eyes that should have decomposed if it wasn’t preserved.

Alastor began to walk deeper in the woods, spinning his red canne in his hand. He stopped after a while, staring at the spiritual weapons in his hands.

How could he reach Alice… It felt like every solution was met with a dead end… His soul needed to belong to someone…

Belong… to someone.

Oh.

Oh.

Alastor’s lips twitch in a crazed smile.

Kalfu told him that if he caged a soul in the cane, those souls would belong to him.

So what if he caged his own soul inside the cane?

That would make him his own slave, but also his own master?

Alastor plugged the cane in the soiled ground, watching as it began to lighten up in a reddish light. He took a step back and stared at it, his eyes flashing the same colour.

A purple energy began to seep out from the cane, red smoke coming from its end, illuminating the surrounding in a dooming light. The bayou that Alastor usually found comforting, now looked like a twisted image of his own mind. The trees looked like they wanted to reach him and make him trap him into the floor, melting him with all the other corpses that he hid here.

He walked closer to the cane, after all he didn’t know how to do this spell. But as the energy was beginning to grow stronger and stronger, he felt his own lips moving, whispering a pledge to the looming cane that seemed to grow taller with each of his words.

He stopped as he felt a sharp pain inside his mind.

Alastor felt like someone was opening his skull and chaining his brain with a very heavy leash. He kept his eyes open as he stared at the cane, where the leash ended. His breath was ragged, his vision was vague… But he stayed conscious. 

He managed to walk again toward his cane, his hand moving to reach it. He didn’t know why, but he needed to hold the spiritual weapon that chained his soul. It felt like if someone took the cane before him, his soul would belong to them.

He grabbed his weapon and felt a surge of electric shiver going from his brain to the end of his toes. He never felt more in control of his own body than right now… He felt like he could touch his own soul, feeling its texture…

” You truly are mad, Alastor.”

Alastor spun around, his eyes wide open as his deceased ally stood there.

” Alice…”

Alice RicheMont was looking at Alastor with her mocking smile,her amused sapphire eyes looking straight at him, arms crossed on her chest while her long blond hair moved around her. She wore the same clothes from the day she was murder, the red was still tainted from blood but she looked oddly at peace and happy to see him at the moment. She moved toward him while Alastor couldn’t move.

He did it. He managed to summon a soul while keeping his soul for himself.

” You look better dead than alive, my dear friend!”

” Oh, fuck off!”

Alastor laughed as Alice lost some of her ghostly prestance just because she was being annoyed with him. He spun the cane between his fingers, finding its weight lighter than usual.

“Now, I guess you know why I called you here.”

“Oh please,Alastor, you didn’t call me. I came here on my own… Because of whatever you did with your cane. But I don’t have that much time here, so I’ll be quick—“

“Are you in Hell?” Alastor asked as Alice stood there,dumbfounded. The man laughed at her expression, “ Of course you are! Who in the heavens would take you on… So, tell me everything I need to know.”

Alice looked confused and lost but then she stood with pride.

” I guess you already know, but I was killed by Trey. But that wasn’t what he wanted to do… He.. He was doing things in our basement. I found out that he made…some horrible thing in a room behind my bookstore, in my bedroom.  He tried to tell me he wanted to… Truly, I don’t even remember half of what he told me, I was so scared… for me and my baby..”

Alastor stared at his dead friend’s soul, wondering what was the fire that kept Trey going. Why did he start to work with Lucifer in the first place?

” But Alastor… Trey is looking for my soul.”

” How? I did manage to reach your soul but do you know how many plans failed for that? Trey won’t find your soul so easily.” Alastor mused but couldn’t help but grimace at Alice’s expression.

”Well, my dear friend. Blood ties are the best way to reach a soul.”

” But Trey was your husband, there is no blood bond between you, and your father is dead, but I guess he must be with you so no tears please… Unless he did a—“

” My son is alive.”

Alastor froze at Alice’s word. He could see the woman was broken by that, but why? Shouldn’t she be happy that her baby- her son- was alive? He could see unshed tears in her eyes and he approached her with a mocking smile.

” Well, that makes him luckier than you.”

Alice scoffed at his world but managed to give him a little smile. She shook her head, looking at the ground.

“My son, my baby… He kept him alive through sacrifices to Lucifer…And my soul is tied to this demon, when Trey killed me… he did something to my body, and before I was dragged to Hell.. An old black man kept me with him, because I was scared to die alone… He kept me to his side until your wife, my best friend, came and saw my body… I hugged her but I don’t think she felt it…”

”I think she did. She just didn’t know it was you.” Alastor said, not caring about the soft look Alice had on her face. He didn’t say that to make her feel better, he truly thought you must have felt it, you were so sensitive to energy after all.

”But Trey’s plan.. If I understood clearly… He wants to give my son’s soul to the devil so he can take mine back and put it in Erori… ”

” Erori?”

” Yeah, Trey named him like this.”

” Well, do you know that in basque, Erori means The Fallen.” Alastor stated, staring at Alice. “Now I understand why…But how did you hear it?”

”Do you truly think a mother wouldn’t be able to fight for her child? I made some connections in Hell…But…You don’t seem shocked about all this.”

”Because I would have done the same. But because I’m better than your husband, my wife will never die, so no need for such dark plans!”

” You’re mad, Alastor…But I’ll guess I’ll see you in Hell.” Alice sighed as her soul bega to dissipate in the air. 

Alastor walked toward her with a soft smile, he was happy to have this moment, he wondered why? He didn’t miss Alice but he couldn’t lie to himself, he truly enjoyed her company, he understood why she used to be your best friend.  Maybe he would be able to bring her back so he could see your reaction to seeing your best friend again.

“ Well, not too soon.”

“Yeah.. Take your time… But please, save my son…Oh, how is your baby?”

Alastor looked as Alice’s soul kept fading, her sapphire eyes staring at him, she seemed worried that your pregnancy didn’t go well. He tilted his head with a smirk.

” Our baby? Oh, we had a little girl, her name is Alice.”

He could see Alice’s eyes widened before she gave him a beautiful smile, her eyes tearing up as she disappeared completely just before her last word.

”Lovely…”

Alastor stood alone as he felt the energy of his friend’s soul going back where it belonged: Hell.

He spun his cane in his hand with an amused smirk. Now, he truly knows what to do. Finding Erori. Maybe the child has power more remarkable than Trey himself. Alice was definitely going to be stronger than you and him, so he wouldn't be surprised if the child that was a vessel for his own mother’s soul was going to become more powerful than his father.

Maybe Erori could be an ally for his daughter, after all, having one of Lucifer's pawns as a tool may be useful. 

“ Ahhh… What a good day to be alive.”

Alastor walked out of the woods, never noticing two red eyes staring at him from behind.

Tag List: @lukneetoonz @martinys-world @littlepoetnova @sirens-and-moonflowers @eris-norwega @tiredflame132 @mo-0-o @vvollerie @sodavizz @boogiemansbitch @tessemerick @slytherin4ever @kammsinn @alastorssimp @t0xic1vi @diamond-almond @fangirlbitch02 @saccharine-nectarine @thenorthnightingale @bibliophile-yomna @itzjustj-1000 @mothraantics @yourdoorisunlocked @phamtasic @karmakillz @holographicage @sarcastic-sourwolf @akuraluna2468 @everwolf-20 @thesunandmoons-blog @songbrita @noraunor @fandomsbookclub @hokkaido97 @catticora @gasiacos @charlottemorningstarsdarling @nekee-lilac02 @thevisforveronica @ellie0o0 @holymusicalmothman @ustulia

[deer-with-a-stick]

The more time I spend explaining Tolkien lore to my brother the more I realize that Tolkien was just batshit insane

[punkshort]

i know who you are | 2. the journal

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Chapter Summary: Your memories still remain out of reach, so you ask Joel to tell you a bit about yourself, and with the help of a journal you kept, you begin to learn more about the person you became in the past ten years, leaving you with more questions than answers.

Chapter Warnings: language, eating, alcohol use, angst, pining, sad!Joel, amnesia

WC: 6.3K

Series Masterlist

"Did'ya get any sleep?"

You glanced up at Joel as you walked side by side towards the dining hall.

"No," you admitted, looking straight ahead again.

After Joel left you in his - your - bedroom, instructing you to rest on his way out, you found you could do anything but. Your mind was spinning with all of the information you had just learned, and you weren't sure which topic consumed you more: the end of the world or the supposed love of your life.

The longer his words set in, the more you were finding it difficult to look at him. It was such a strange feeling, having this large, burly, gruff man proclaim his love for you, to say he would stop at nothing to make you feel the same way, to insist you were meant for each other. It seemed so out of character, though you hardly felt like you knew him. But even now as you walked down the street, you noticed how some of the people in town glanced at him. Moving quickly out of his way.

It wasn't just you who found him intimidating.

You were distracted as you walked, curiously peering into storefronts and repurposed buildings when a group of children playing a game of tag nearly ran into you. At the last moment, Joel tugged your arm, pulling you into his side just in time. The children seemed to realize their mistake because their laughter quickly stopped and the smiles fell from their faces as they looked up at him.

"We're sorry, Mr. Miller," a young boy no more than eight years old said.

Miller. You never even bothered to ask his last name.

Joel just grunted and they scurried away, no doubt eager to escape his glare. You chanced a look at him, studying his stern expression when you realized he was still holding you against him. He was warm. Warmer than you expected. And solid. You cleared your throat and stepped away from his grasp, muttering your thanks and glancing around the busy street to avoid the disappointed look in his eye when it became clear you weren't comfortable with him touching you.

You shoved your hands in the pockets of your jeans and continued to walk in silence down the main road. A few people shot you curious looks or did double takes as they walked by, and you had to assume if Ellie heard the news about your accident, then others had, as well.

The Tipsy Bison came into view at the corner of the street, made obvious by the large crowds of people gathered outside.

"Does everyone have to eat here or are you allowed to have food in your homes?" you asked him, and he looked down at you, surprised by the question.

"We got food. It's not like a prison or somethin'," he said with a chuckle. "Most folks like to come here to socialize, but sometimes we cook dinner at home," he stopped short when he realized he never asked you what you preferred. "Did'ya wanna stay home instead?"

"No, this is fine," you told him over your shoulder.

"You sure? Maybe it's too much right now," he replied, jogging a bit to keep up.

"I'm sure. You won't leave me, right?" you asked, looking at him nervously.

"'Course not," he said, trying to hide his grin. He liked that you wanted him around, even if it was only because you didn't know anybody else. It was a start.

When Joel swung the door open, holding it wide so you could enter first, it might have been your imagination but you thought the loud chatter simultaneously died down for a split second. Then Joel stepped in beside you and the volume rose once again.

You wanted to look around and take in the rustic atmosphere but you could feel the eyes on you as Joel led you through the crowd, the scrutiny making you feel extremely out of place, so you kept your gaze pinned straight ahead. Following dutifully behind, you watched as people automatically moved out of his way, like he was Moses parting the Red Sea, until he reached a table in a somewhat quiet corner of the dining hall. He pulled out a chair and stood behind it, his hand still resting on the back, and it took you a second to realize he was waiting for you to sit so he could push it in. You quietly thanked him then finally looked around the room.

The dining room had tables scattered around, and as far as you could see, they all appeared to be taken. People were standing in groups, drinking and laughing and eating and you wondered how in the world your table wasn't taken. You were about to turn and ask when an older man approached your table.

"Hey guys," he said, pulling out a pad of paper from his pocket. "What'll it be?"

You went wide eyed for a moment, looking around trying to figure out what your choices were when, much to your relief, Joel spoke for you both.

"Still got any of that stew left?"

"Sure do. Few guys got lucky earlier today, too. Got two deer, so we'll be havin' more soon," he replied, jotting something down on his paper. "Two whiskies?"

Joel was about to nod when you spoke up for the first time.

"Just water for me, thanks," you said, and the man nodded his head.

"Thanks, Seth," Joel said as he walked away.

You glanced at Joel quickly, awkwardly catching his eye. It felt too much like a date. Dropping your gaze to the table, you tried to think of something to say.

"Probably a good idea, skippin' alcohol," he said. "Didn't even think about it, what with your head and all."

"Yeah," you said, your hand coming up to gently touch the stitches. "Besides, I don't like whiskey, anyway," you added. Joel laughed softly as he watched you shift nervously in your chair.

"What?" you asked with a frown.

"Nothin'," he replied, still staring at you in disbelief. "Just ever since you got here you've been tossin' back whiskey better than most of the men. You must've gotten a taste for it at some point."

"There's no way," you said, scrunching your nose when Seth put down Joel's glass in front of him. He stared down at it wistfully, swirling the amber liquid in the glass, lost in thought.

"Whiskey's how we first met," he said softly, still staring at the glass. You tilted your head towards him, waiting for him to continue. "When you first arrived, you were like a caged animal. You came here lookin' to blow off steam," he said with a distant smile. "It was a slow night. Just you and me and a handful of others. You were tossin' that shit back like it was nothin'."

You watched him as he reminisced. His eyes shone brightly and a small smile played on his lips, it almost felt like you were intruding on something special.

"When me and Ellie first arrived, no one really went outta their way to talk to me. I preferred it that way. Was used to bein' on my own," he continued, looking up at you now. "But that night, you sat down next to me at the bar like you had been waitin' for me or somethin'. You asked me if I was drinkin' for fun or drinkin' to forget. Those were the very first words you said to me."

You were completely silent as he spoke. The way he told it, it felt like you could see the scene playing out right before you, the way he remembered every detail left you in awe.

"What did you say?" you asked a little breathlessly.

The corner of his mouth twitched and he looked down at the table.

"Drinkin' to forget."

You waited for him to elaborate, but when it became apparent he wasn't going to, you asked him another question.

"Then what happened?"

He raised his eyebrows and hummed, a slow smile stretching across his face before he answered.

"You told me you could help me have fun and help me forget," he said, and you could feel the heat instantly flush your cheeks.

"Oh, my god," you murmured, covering your mouth, utterly mortified. "Please tell me you're joking."

He shook his head, still smiling at the memory. You glanced around the room, trying to look anywhere but at him.

"So then, did we...?" you trailed off, gaze still fixed on a spot on the wall.

"Oh, yeah. 'Course we did. I'm no saint," he chuckled.

"Jesus Christ," you said, burying your face in your hands. "That doesn't sound like me at all."

"It's not. Well, not anymore. You had an edge to you when you first arrived. Most do. Survivin' out there does that to you," he said, taking his first sip of whiskey.

You sat in silence for another minute, contemplating asking him what he knew about your life before you met him, but ultimately deciding against it. Maybe another time.

"Where's the bathroom?" you asked him, and he pointed down a small hallway near the bar. You thanked him, his eyes trailing after you as you made your way through the crowds, only dropping his gaze once you were no longer in view. It was a strange thing, recounting stories for you like that. At first, the memories made him smile, but once he saw the lost look on your face he felt the sadness creep back up, settling deep in his chest, and he wondered if he would ever get you back.

You knew you were in the bathroom too long. You knew he would likely be worried, but you just couldn't stop staring at your reflection in the mirror after you washed your hands. Who was this person staring back at you? She looked older and weathered and tired. Your fingertip gently prodded at the bags under your eyes and then a small scar on your chin. What happened to you out there to make you the person Joel was describing? What did you have to do to survive? And did you really want to know the answer?

The door swung open, startling you as three girls around your age entered the bathroom. Their giggles stopped when they saw you and you watched them exchange glances in the mirror before a pretty girl with long, blonde hair greeted you by name. Turning around, you gave her a smile, hoping they would go about their business so you could slip out of there, but of course the pretty girl wanted to talk.

"We heard you had an accident, are you okay?" she asked, and she sounded sincere, but something about her smile made you think twice.

"Yeah, got a few stitches but it should be fine," you said, your eyes flicking to the other two girls, giving them each a smile. They looked at each other and smirked before heading towards the bathroom stalls, leaving you with just the blonde.

"So, is it true? Did you really lose your memory?" she asked, her voice low as if it were a secret, and finally you were able to pick up the vibe. You had been to high school before the outbreak. You had encounters with these types of girls before. Friendly to your face, vicious behind your back.

"Uh, yeah," you admitted, and she gasped as if she felt bad, but you saw the way her eyes lit up.

"So you don't remember, like, anything?"

"Well, I remember before everything went to hell," you told her, "but I don't remember this place, no."

"Oh, wow," she said, and you heard the toilets flush before the other two girls exited the stalls, grinning conspiratorially at the blonde. "So you don't know anybody here?"

You shook your head, feeling uncomfortable with the line of questioning at this point. What was she really getting at?

"That must mean you don't remember Joel, right?" one of the girls at the sink piped up. You looked at her briefly over your shoulder and shook your head, turning back to the blonde but not before you caught the look in her eye.

"Oh, that's too bad," she said, giving you a pout. "Does that mean you aren't together anymore, or-"

Suddenly, the door swung open and Ellie stormed in. Her hard gaze drifted around to the three girls and she gave them a look of disgust.

"Scram, vultures," she told them, and the blonde made a face at her before flipping her hair over her shoulder and heading to one of the stalls. Ellie called your name and you scurried over, allowing her to lead you back out into the dining room but not before she gave the other two girls a few choice words.

"Don't talk to them, they're nasty," she told you as you weaved your way through the crowd. Joel's eyes instantly found you once you were in view and you saw him straighten up in his chair.

"You okay?" he asked, and you could see the genuine concern in his face as you sat down. You were about to answer when Ellie plopped down on the other side of him and spoke first.

"Angie and her little sidekicks cornered her in there," she explained, rolling her eyes. "Already sniffing around for scraps."

"What do you mean?" you asked her, but just then Seth arrived with your meals and you never got an answer.

"Stew again?" Ellie asked, scrunching up her nose.

"It's good," Joel told her before taking a bite. You looked down at the bowl and you were inclined to agree with Ellie, but you swallowed the food down anyway, just grateful for something to eat after such a long day.

"Aren't you going to eat?" you asked her, noticing she hadn't ordered anything and instead was busy sketching in a journal.

"Nah, I'm going to Dina's later, I'll eat there," she explained without looking up.

"Who's Dina?"

"Oh, my girlfriend," Ellie explained, glancing up at you briefly. "Sorry. I still can't get used to this. It's so weird you don't remember."

"Don't be out too late. You got school tomorrow," Joel reminded her. Even though he wasn't Ellie's father, he seemed to have quite the knack for being a dad.

"Yes, sir," she said sarcastically, giving him a weak, two-fingered salute before hunching back over her journal. You heard some familiar giggles coming from somewhere behind you, and when you turned to look, you locked eyes with the blonde girl from the bathroom - Angie - who was holding some drink in her hand, her two friends flanking her sides as she strolled past your table. Her eyes drifted briefly to Joel before she passed by, then turned her attention to her friends, disappearing into the crowd.

"Who is that?" you asked, realizing you never really got much of an explanation. Joel and Ellie responded at the same time.

"Nobody."

"Joel's ex."

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise as Joel glared at Ellie.

"What? She woulda found out eventually," Ellie protested.

"She ain't even an ex," he said, turning to you now. "Just a mistake I made one time before you even got here," he insisted. The tone in his voice made it sound like he was trying to reassure you there was nothing to worry about, but of course, the information didn't phase you.

"Okay," you replied with a shrug. He examined your blank stare for a moment, searching for a glimmer of recognition. The disappointment in his expression every time something like this happened was becoming too much to bear, so you dragged your eyes off him to glance around the crowded room once again. You found Tommy leaning against the bar and you stood up.

"Where are you goin'?"

"I need to ask Tommy something," you said. "I'll be right back."

His eyes followed you as you pushed your way towards the bar, his heart feeling like it was going to break. He wasn't exactly looking for you to have an overly jealous reaction to hearing about another woman from his past, but your casual indifference hurt more than he expected. When you first found out about Angie, you insisted you weren't jealous but the way you sneered at her going forward, combined with giving him the best sex of his life later that night told him a different story.

"You think she'll ever get her memory back?" Ellie asked, still focusing on her drawing. Joel sighed and dragged his hands down his face.

"I don't know, kid."

"What'd you need to talk to Tommy for?" Joel asked once you both arrived back to his - your - home. You had wandered into the kitchen, Joel hot on your trail.

"Oh, I just had a question about something I saw when we were out there today," you explained, and he raised an eyebrow for you to continue. "There were dead bodies when I came to. They looked all decayed and... subhuman. Now that you told me about the infection, I wanted to ask."

Joel watched you open and close cupboards until you found the glasses, then picked one out to fill with water.

"So you ran into some runners," he said, and you nodded. "Did he happen to mention how you hit your head?"

Your hand froze, your glass halfway to your lips as you considered his question.

"Actually, no, he didn't," you said, setting down the glass and looking up at him.

"Yeah, he didn't really tell me, either," he replied, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "When he told me you hit your head and you were havin' trouble remeberin' things, I just came runnin'."

Guilt washed over you yet again as you thought about Joel being told the news and how panicked he must have been. He practically ripped all the exam room doors off their hinges to find you, only to be met with a stranger when he finally did.

"Well, I can ask him tomorrow," you finally said, putting your glass in the sink to avoid looking at him.

"Yeah," he replied, trailing off a bit. He was still lost in thought, trying to remember Tommy's exact words when you walked past him towards the stairs.

"You're tired?"

"Well, it's been a long day," you told him, pausing on a stair to look back down at him.

"Right, 'course," he said, shaking his head and following you up. When you got to the doorway of his bedroom you paused, looking up at him. It seemed like he was struggling to say something, his mind working hard to find the words, but instead he just gazed down at you, brown eyes all wide and soft.

"Don't suppose anythin's comin' back to you yet?" he finally asked, and you hated seeing that look. That same hopeful look you kept seeing right before you opened your mouth and crushed him. This was hard for him, you knew that, but the way he kept looking at you was making things so much worse. The pressure you felt to become this person he was expecting you to be was overwhelming. You opted to drop your gaze to the floor and slowly shake your head.

"That's okay," he said, and you dragged your eyes back up to him. "Maybe tomorrow."

You gave him a small smile. "Yeah, maybe."

He sighed and glanced at the door to the spare room.

"You need anythin', I'm right next door," he said, hitching his thumb to the side and giving you a lopsided grin, but you could still see it in his eyes. The disappointment. The sadness. The yearning. And it was making you feel sick.

Just as he turned to head towards the spare room, you spoke. "Joel?"

And he eagerly swiveled back around.

"I'm gonna try really hard to remember," you said earnestly, looking deep into his eyes.

"I know," he replied with a sad smile. He gave you one more look before heading into the spare room and softly closing the door behind him.

Joel slept like shit.

No surprise there, really. He hadn't slept without you in years. He had hoped the whiskey would have helped, but he was wrong. His mind was racing as he tossed and turned, and by morning he had foolishly convinced himself that you would be back to normal after a good night's rest. He got up early and made coffee for the two of you, like he always did, then tended to the fire in the living room. The nights and early mornings were frigid, but the days were warm. The first sign that fall was approaching fast. He was just putting the poker back when he heard the bedroom door creak open upstairs and his heart jumped into his throat excitedly, but when you descended the stairs and locked eyes with him, he knew nothing had changed. He didn't even bother to ask. You didn't look at him the same way you used to. You used to smile and gravitate towards him, your hands always seeking out his, your eyes playful and loving, but now you looked at him like he was a complete stranger. Devoid of all affection, the only thing that remained was a forced politeness.

You said good morning and headed into the kitchen and Joel wondered how long it would take for you to come around. Less than a day ago, you looked at him in fear, but now you seemed at least comfortable in his presence. That had to count for something.

He must have looked like shit because when he joined you in the kitchen, you eyed him up and down curiously.

"Have you been up for a while?"

He shook his head and picked up his mug, taking a sip and hoping the caffeine would bring him back to life.

"How's your head?" he asked.

"Not great," you admitted, pouring your own cup of coffee. "It really hurts. I think whatever meds the doctor gave me yesterday wore off."

Without even thinking, Joel quickly closed the distance between you to examine your injury. You startled a bit when he came up behind you and lifted your hair, but for his benefit, you tamped down your reaction. His touch was surprisingly gentle as he gripped the nape of your neck to angle your head downwards in order to get a better look. You closed your eyes and held your breath as you focused on his fingertips pressing tenderly into your skin. You heard him murmur to himself, the sound coming from deep within his chest, and you realized just how close he really was. Aside from pulling you out of the way so the kids playing tag wouldn't knock you down, it was the first time he had really touched you, and he was so much softer than you expected.

"Don't think it's infected but let's go see the doc, just to be sure," he said, his hand still on your neck, his other hand pushing your hair away.

"Okay," you said quietly, finally allowing yourself to take in a shaky breath as you waited for him to release you.

As if he realized what he was doing, he let your hair fall back into place and let go of your neck, his fingertips lightly trailing down your spine before falling to his side, making you shiver and step away.

"Sorry," he said. "Should've asked to look first."

"It's fine," you told him, absentmindedly rubbing the spot on your neck his fingers just touched.

As you walked side by side to the infirmary, his stony expression slid back into place. Gone was the softness you witnessed in his home. His hardened gaze drifted around the street, then to the watch towers, taking everything in. Studying. Calculating. And that was when you realized there were two Joel Millers: the one who the rest of the town viewed as gruff and callous, and the one you saw in the kitchen that morning, soft and gentle.

You wondered how many people got to see the latter version.

Nick examined you again in the same room as before, but this time, Joel was there watching his every move like a hawk. You could practically see the tension radiating off Nick's shoulders as he moved around the room. He examined your cut carefully, Joel's eyes never once leaving his hands, confirming that it was not infected before parceling out ten little white tablets of extra strength Tylenol into a small baggie and advising you to use them sparingly as inventory was low.

"That's it?" Joel asked incredulously.

"You know how it is, Joel," Nick said, but you heard his voice waver when Joel stood up from his chair. "Meds are hard to come by, we gotta be smart-"

"She hit her goddamn head so fuckin' hard she's lucky she remembers her own name and you're givin' her Tylenol?" he seethed, and you could see his neck growing flush with anger again.

"Joel, calm down, it's fine," you said, sliding off the table. Turning to Nick, you were about to voice your thanks when Joel cut you off.

"It ain't fine. What's it gotta take to get somethin' that actually works?" he huffed, taking a step forward and making Nick shift his weight nervously. "She gotta be missin' an arm? Maybe if she hit her head hard enough to forget what fuckin' planet she's on?"

"Joel, that's enough!" you snapped with a frown, and much to Nick's relief, Joel instantly backed off. He turned and paced around the small room, his hand rubbing over his mouth as he tried to calm down.

"What about my memory? Is it a bad sign I haven't remembered anything yet?" you asked Nick, and Joel paused somewhere behind you to listen to his answer.

"Well, the brain is a tricky thing," he began, his eyes darting over your shoulder briefly. "It could be weeks, could be months. Without any imaging, I wouldn't be able to tell you much more than that." You nodded and swallowed nervously before asking your next question.

"Or never, right?"

Nick took a deep breath and looked at Joel over your shoulder again before responding.

"It's possible."

You heard Joel's boots squeak against the linoleum floor and without even looking, you knew he was anxiously pacing around again.

"Alright, thank you. We'll get out of your hair now," you said, turning to corral Joel towards the door.

"Regardless, I'd like to see you again in a few days so I can take a look at those stitches," Nick said, and you agreed while pushing a muttering Joel back out into the hallway.

"I'll get you better meds," he said as you both walked out of the infirmary. "I got patrol tomorrow mornin', but I can go out after. There's a small cluster of houses we never did a full sweep on. Maybe-"

"The Tylenol is fine, don't go through the trouble. You could get hurt," you said, shoving the baggie of pills into your pocket.

"Tylenol ain't gonna do shit. I don't want you bein' in pain if there's somethin' we can do about it."

You sighed and rubbed the back of your neck, trying to temporarily relieve the ache in your head until you could get home and take one of the pills. You gave Joel a sideways glance, studying him as you walked together. He was brash and rude and aggressive, but you were learning that side of him came out when he was being protective over the ones he loved.

Or when he was trying to hide who he really was.

"So, everyone pitches in around here, right?" you asked, trying to change the subject. "You do patrol. What do I do?"

You paused at a crossroads, trying to remember which way to go, when Joel's hand on your elbow guided you in the right direction.

"You work patrol, too, but you ain't doin' that anymore," he said, letting go of your elbow after holding on for a moment too long.

"Well, obviously. I don't even know how to ride a horse," you said with a snort. "So I guess I need to find a new job, right? Who do I talk to?"

"Why don't you slow down a minute?" Joel said with a chuckle. "Let that pretty little head of yours heal up before you go lookin' for work."

You weren't going to say anything about his comment. Although it took you off guard, you realized he had habits that were going to be hard to ignore and you didn't expect that to happen overnight, but he seemed to realize what he said on his own and awkwardly cleared his throat.

"Sorry," he said softly.

"It's okay. I know this is difficult for you," you said, shooting him a sympathetic glance as you climbed his porch steps. He swung open the door and followed you inside, where you made a beeline for a glass of water so you could take one of the pills.

"We got a lotta history, you and me. It's hard to start over," he said as he watched you toss back the Tylenol with a wince. You examined his face closely and pulled out one of the stools to sit down. You leaned forward, forearms resting on the cool countertop before replying.

"Tell me a story."

He raised an eyebrow at you but couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from turning up a bit.

"What kinda story?"

"A story about us. You just said we have a lot of history together. Let's hear some of it," you replied with an encouraging smile.

"You sure? Thought you'd wanna go lay down," he said, but he eagerly pulled up a stool across from you.

"I think I can handle one little story," you told him, then watched as he stared down at his hands on top of the counter, deep in thought. When he thought of one, a slow smile spread across his face and his dark brown eyes flicked up to meet yours and you saw that softer side of him again.

"Alright," he said, settling back a bit. "So I told'ya last night how we met."

You cringed, remembering the story of a much bolder and seductive version of yourself, and nodded.

"Well, after that night we started seein' each other for a few weeks. It was just casual, nothin' serious," he said, looking down at his hands again. "I convinced you to sneak around so no one would catch on, and you grew tired of that. Rightfully so. I was bein' an asshole."

You watched him pull at a loose thread on the cuff of his flannel shirt, his eyes still cast down and you were beginning to realize it was due to shame.

"So anyway. One day you came over to, y'know..." he said, and you felt the heat in your cheeks again. "And you confronted me about it head on. Demanded to know why I wanted to keep you a secret. Thought I was ashamed of you - which I wasn't," he said quickly, his eyes finally meeting yours again. "But I had been through a lot of shit and I just didn't think I could give myself to someone like that again."

"What kind of shit?" you asked quietly, but he just lightly shook his head.

"One story at a time," he told you with a sad smile. You chewed on your lower lip as you waited for him to continue, his focus back on the loose string while he collected his thoughts.

"So I explained I had a hard time lettin' people in, that I wasn't capable of carin' 'bout anyone like that anymore, and you said to me, 'I know who you are, Joel Miller. Don't give me that bullshit, you're just scared.'"

He stared into your eyes, letting what he said land and hoping to see a flicker of the woman who spoke those words, but you just continued to look at him, waiting for him to finish the story like it was about somebody else entirely.

"Well, you were right, obviously. You always are," he continued with a smirk. "It knocked me on my ass. And I didn't know what was more difficult to believe: that you knew me better than I knew myself, or someone like you wanted anythin' to do with me in the first place."

You smiled and dropped your gaze to the counter, suddenly feeling shy.

"I'm not saying I don't believe you, but so far, these stories don't sound like me at all," you admitted.

He took a deep breath and finally stopped fidgeting with his sleeve.

"A lot's happened in ten years. Stuff that changes people. But I don't care what version of you's here, I love all of you."

You kept your eyes glued to his hands. You wished you could say it back. You knew he wanted to hear it. Maybe one day.

He tapped his finger on the counter, pulling your attention up so you were forced to look him in the eye.

"You fought for me that night, now I'm gonna fight for you, okay?" he said, eyebrows raised as he waited for you to acknowledge him. When you nodded sheepishly, his shoulders relaxed.

"So you're saying I fell in love with you because you were an asshole?" you joked, trying to lighten the mood, and it worked. Joel laughed heartily and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Nah, you didn't love me then," he said, still smiling.

"So how did I fall in love with you?" you asked, and his tongue clicked against his teeth.

"You're gonna have to wait to find out," he replied with a wink.

It wasn't his fault, but the rest of the day you could feel Joel looking at you. He was examining you, waiting to see the woman he fell in love with, and the pressure was beginning to be too much, so you made up an excuse to go lay down in his bedroom. He had mentioned he had patrol in the morning. Maybe some time away from him would help you relax.

You stared up at the white ceiling. The distant sound of children laughing outside through the closed window and then the door to the garage swinging open and shut acted as a soundtrack to your overactive thoughts. You almost had to laugh. It felt like your mind was constantly working, churning up information and digesting it only to always come up empty.

Absolutely nothing seemed familiar. Nothing about this place or these people felt like home.

You wished so badly you could remember something. Anything to make you feel like you belonged there. One little shred of hope was all you were looking for.

And then you remembered the journal.

Sitting up in bed, you tucked your legs underneath you and reached over for the black book. You fingers hesitated for a moment on the cover. It felt like an invasion of privacy, but how could that be when it was your own?

Taking a deep breath, you flipped open the journal and began at the beginning.

Right away, you could tell you wrote the entries. There was no doubt in your mind. Aside from your handwriting, your typical disorganization shone through like a beacon on every page. You occasionally remembered to notate in the margin the date, or your best guess at the date, but more often than not you were left with very little context for each small paragraph you read.

You were disappointed to realize the journal seemed to begin after you had met Joel. A big part of you was very eager to learn more about the person you were before finding Jackson, but it seemed as though you would have to depend on others to tell you stories you hopefully had relayed to them in the past.

The first page looked to be a list of items you had jotted down that didn't make much sense, but maybe when you first found the notebook, you hadn't intended to use it as a journal.

Socks, colored pencils, sunflower seeds, cards.

Flipping the page, you skimmed a short paragraph about a cabin you stumbled upon when on patrol. Again, it was more notes than anything of any substance. A description of approximately where it was in relation to Jackson along with a note to 'mention it at the next town hall meeting'.

Finally something interesting on the next page, you read a short paragraph about someone named Maria having a baby girl, and you frowned when you read the line Joel handled it better than I expected.

Continuing on, you read an entry about Christmas: Joel found me the softest sweater, it almost felt brand new. I really don't know how he managed to find it and I described the house I grew up in to Ellie and she drew it perfectly, I can't believe how talented she is.

One paragraph in particular grabbed your attention. It was about two people, and based on the context, it sounded like you were close friends. For the first time since we got here, I had the same day off as Ben and Lisa. We went fishing together and brought a lunch. It felt just like old times. As weird as it sounds, sometimes I miss being out there with them. We made a good team.

Maybe this Ben and Lisa would be able to answer some questions you had about yourself. Based on what you just read, it sounded like they knew you before Jackson.

There was a lot more to read, but the next page stopped you dead in your tracks. Your heart began to beat faster as you stared at the four words. Just one sentence, no explanation. A shiver slowly trickled down your spine as you sat there, unmoving, as your vision narrowed on the page: Joel lied to me.

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[morose-melodies]

when you leave | yandere! ororon x f! reader

summary: you're leaving natlan and ororon does not want you to go :((

content warning: obsession, implied kidnapping, idk if ororon calling reader granny is weird or not... someone tell me pls!! readers a bit older than him ^^

a/n: I still haven't done the archon quest heh

"do you really have to leave us, granny-"

"I told you, ororon, to stop calling me that. we're around the same age and I hate when yo-"

ororon's shoulders dropped immediately and though you didn't tell him to, he stepped aside, no longer blocking the door with his body - you were already getting upset, and he would hate to make you anymore upset, "i'm sorry, gran- (y/n), I'm sorry, (y/n). I'll stop, promise."

old habits died hard. ororon was trying his hardest to stop.

"i deserve to leave, y'know? i want to see the world, plus... i don't want to stay here after, um, everything that's happened."

everything that happened, your friends avoiding you, your lover going missing and the fatui watching you - it was very odd.

not to mention how clingy ororon had been throughout all of it.

"yes... but, what about me? what about your home and your studies and-"

"what about you? you'll be fine. ill continue studying and I'll sell my home." you assured him, turning your back to him as you continued to pack your bags, "but, gran... (y/n), where are you even going?"

"sumeru."

ororon pressed his lips into a line - he tried too hard to to hide his disappointment, he tried so hard not to look sad but the guy looked like a kicked puppy, "i mean, I'll miss you, (y/n). does that mean anything to you?"

"sure. of course it means something. I'll write to you, I'll even send you gifts from sumeru," you glanced back at him and caught a glimpse of that sad look on his face before he forced himself to weakly smile.

but it hardly hid the sadness in his eyes.

ororon didn't care about gifts- you'd be so far away and he would miss you, so so much.

why did his chest hurt so badly at the thought of you leaving? why did he feel like he was going to die if you left? "but (y/n)-"

"no buts. I'm leaving."

he wanted so badly to beg you to stay, to beg you to come home with him; to beg you to be with him. he couldn't handle this, he couldn't handle you leaving him.

"when are you leaving? could i... at least cook you a meal before you go? like we used to do?" ororon was so desperate, he'd do anything, anything to keep you around for as long as possible.

...

you begrudgingly agreed to have a meal with him one last time.

in the past, ororon would harvest his vegetables and make a meal from them just for you. it had been very long since the two of you had a meal together.

ororon had visibly perked up when you agreed to have a meal with him and has had a small smile on his face ever since then.

doing anything for you brought a grin to his face.

the two of you ate across from one another, while slowly finishing off a bottle of alcohol together.

"i'd miss you too much if you left, granny," ororon's voice softened as he laid his head on the table, "i don't want you to go. i really don't."

"i told you not to-"

"did you hear me, granny? I'd miss you too much," ororon stood up, stepping around the table before sitting on the floor, by your side. he rested his head on your lap and looking up at you with a sullen gaze, said "i don't want you to go - I'd be lonely, so lonely."

you placed your hand on his cheek, gently grazing it, "you can't make me stay, ororon and i won't."

"yes you will, granny. i need... need you to stay with me. is that bad?" his cheeks flushed as he spoke to you, and his skin was warm - ororon was drunk and now you'd feel bad to leave him alone.

"yeah," you slowly stood up, taking his hand and making him also stand. you brought him to his room and laid him down, "its pretty bad to make someone do something they don't want."

"you don't want to stay with me, granny?" attempting to sit up as you put a blanket over him, ororon frowned, grabbing your hand as you tucked him in, "why not? why won't you stay with me?"

"ororon you don't need me to function properly. you can handle yourself."

"I do need you, granny."

the room was quiet. ororon refused to let you go, no, instead he was tugging you closer, pulling you into the bed with him, "I do need you," he repeated, holding you against his chest, his arms tense.

there was no doubt he was trying to make you stick around for longer.

"stay with me, granny."

...

"goodbye, ororon."

you managed to squirm out of his tight hold that he managed to keep you in all night. it was only early in the morning when he finally released you, still deep in sleep.

you tucked him back in and collected your items before making your way to the front door.

you opened the door and stepped out. this would be the last time you were in natlan, this would be the last time you had to be afraid to leave your home-

"granny," a hand grabbed your arm, the hold wasn't tight- it wasn't aggressive by any means and yet it was firm, "come back inside. let me make you breakfast."

"go back to bed. it's still early-"

ororon grabbed your bag with his free hand and gently tugged it from your hold, "I'm already up. let me make you breakfast, please?"

when you didn't budge, ororon frowned, "granny, please don't make me force you. come inside," as much as he didn't want to force you, as much as he didn't want to hurt you, his hold on your arm tightened and he tugged, "come on, granny. let me make you breakfast and we can sleep in if you want."

"give me my bag back, ororon. I'm serious-"

"so am i - I'm very serious, granny," ororon quickly cut you off, once again tugging at your arm, not yet forcing you inside but giving you the illusion of a choice, "i want you to come back inside, granny. I won't let go until you come in."

[brbsoulnomming]

Heart On Your Sleeve Part 10

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

-----

The town is a wreck, but there's still space for them at the hospital.

Nancy recognizes a few of the doctors - ones who know about the Upside Down - and they're all whisked away into two private rooms. One for Eddie, and one for Max.

Steve is stuck with Eddie. He hates thinking of it like that, because he wants to be with Eddie, but he wants to be with Max, too. He wants to prowl back and forth between them, like his presence will make any difference.

But Eddie's heart is still in his chest, and while the doctor had praised his quick thinking in helping his friend, it's too risky to have Eddie's heart far away from his body while he's healing.

So Steve's in the chair next to his bed, hooked up to the heart monitor and listening to the faint but steady sound of Eddie's heart as he feels it beat in his own chest.

Dustin and Robin go back and forth, one of them always with him and the other giving updates when they come to switch out.

It's Dustin in the chair next to his now, and he feels the echo of his own heart next to Dustin's, knows the kid must be feeling what he is - and probably a little bit of Eddie's, too.

Three hearts, all entwined. Robin could make something poetic from that, he thinks.

All he can do is let Dustin pillow his head on his shoulder, press his hand to his own chest and think come back to us.

Eddie's hand twitches.

Steve jolts up, reaching for it automatically.

“Steve?” Eddie asks, even though his eyes are closed and his expression hasn't changed. “Dustin?”

Dustin makes some kind of strangled noise, fumbling for Eddie's other hand. “Can he feel us?”

“I've got his heart, and you've got mine, so yeah, he has to, right?” Steve asks, aware he sounds a little desperate and not really caring.

“Come on, Eddie,” Dustin pleads. “You have to wake up, okay?”

Eddie wakes up.

—

“I should have died in there.”

Steve feels his jaw tense. “No, you shouldn't have.”

“No, I meant - doc says I would have died, if you hadn't taken my heart,” Eddie says.

Oh.

“I know,” Steve admits. “That's why I asked for it.”

Eddie exhales, long and slow. “Where'd you learn that?”

“Eighth grade science,” Steve replies, shooting a little grin at him.

Eddie gives a surprised little laugh. “Seriously?”

“Eh, kind of.” Steve considers for a moment. He's never talked about this with anyone, but - “My parents used to lock their hearts in a safe in my dad's study at night. When I was little, and I got upset at them leaving, they told me they put their hearts in there when they went on trips, too, and I had to stay behind to watch over them.”

Eddie looks at him, soft and tender. Steve'd think it was pity, if it wasn't for Eddie's heart in his chest. It's just sad, and a little angry.

“I told Mr. Clarke about that, and he said it was hogshit.”

Eddie snorts. “Mr. Clarke said hogshit?”

“Who's telling this story?” Steve retorts, then laughs when Eddie mimes zipping his lips closed and throwing away the key.

“It was hogshit,” Steve continues. “But then he told us that people could survive potentially fatal injuries with heart exchanges. Then, after Starcourt…”

He trails off, not sure how to say it.

“Robin told me a little,” Eddie admits. “That it was the Russians and the Upside Down, and you let yourself get caught to cover for Dustin and Erica. That you tried to draw attention away from her.”

Oh.

That makes him sound more heroic than the moment felt, but at least it also makes this easier.

“The Russian spies, they had this thing that could open your chest. They didn't believe I was telling the truth, so they took my heart out.”

Eddie reaches out to take his hand, squeezing it tight. There's a faint trickle of horror and guilt and affection, and he knows that Eddie's put it together with the changes in his heart.

“I healed a lot faster because we were doing heart exchanges,” he finishes. “So I figured it'd keep you safe.”

Eddie's grip on his hand tightens. “I really am sorry,” he mutters. “About last summer. After - after that, you needed a friend, and I just left.”

Steve licks his lips, considering his response for a moment, before he goes with honesty. “I had friends. I had Robin and the kids, and they were enough. I didn't really need anything else. But - I wanted you.”

Eddie looks at him, and Steve can feel - hesitation, uncertainty, does he really want me?

“Eddie,” Steve says, slow and thoughtful. “I don't want you because I'm lonely, or I have no one else. Maybe there was a part of that when it first started, but - I'm okay, I'm happy. I want you because of you, not just because I want anyone.”

Shock filters through Eddie so hard that Steve feels it like an almost physical blow.

His heart aches.

He doesn't have to ask if that's something that Eddie hasn't been told before - he knows it already.

“I'm not letting you go,” Steve tells him, only because Eddie's heart is still beating in his chest and he's confident it will be well received. “Not this time.”

“I can live with that,” Eddie says, only a little shaky.

—

Dustin takes a turn swapping hearts with Eddie, and Steve heads immediately for Max's room.

Lucas is there, sitting by her bed and holding her hand.

“Hey,” Steve says softly, pulling up a chair to sit next to him. “How's she doing?”

“Same,” Lucas says flatly. “But she's in there, I can feel it.”

“You can feel it?” Steve asks.

“We swapped before - before. Just in case. To give her another tether to the real world.”

Shit, that was a great idea. It gives him more hope, and he sags a little in his chair.

“Jesus, you kids are smart,” Steve says, impressed.

Lucas looks at him funny. “We learned that from you, Steve.”

He doesn't really think that's true, considering he learned it from them just as much, but he lets it be, just gripping the back of Lucas's neck and giving him a little squeeze.

Lucas unwinds, just a little bit, and Steve gets a better look at him - notices his swollen eye, his puffy jaw, and feels a cold surge of rage.

He waits for a moment to let the worst of it pass, then asks, “Swap?”

Lucas looks over at him, clearly hesitant.

“The three of us are kind of banged up,” Steve says. “Figure it can't hurt to have more heart power at work here.”

Lucas snorts. “Heart power?”

“Heart power,” Steve confirms, radiating as much confidence as possible.

He's not sure if it works, but Lucas does open his chest up and carefully pull out Max's heart. Steve's extra gentle as he swaps them, tucking her heart into his chest.

It's immediate, what Lucas was talking about. There's only the faintest sense of Max, and an equally faint sense of a fear and guilt and love that he recognizes as Lucas - the residual of what Max is feeling from him, he guesses. Even stranger is an echo he can feel of his own emotions - from him to Lucas to Max and back to him again, apparently.

“Huh,” he says, at the same time Lucas goes, “Woah.”

They sit there, together, and Steve must fall asleep at some point because the next thing he knows, there's the shifting of a chair as Lucas jumps up. Steve startles, only to see El and Will and Mike come flooding in. They sweep Lucas into a hug, and Steve watches them hold on, clinging and desperate.

Eventually, they peel apart, and El goes to Max's side, taking her hand. Her eyes close for a long while, then open again, looking sad.

“I can't reach her,” she whispers. “Not even with my powers back.”

“She's there, though, right? I can still feel her,” Lucas says.

El's brow furrows.

“Max and Lucas swapped before this happened,” Steve explains. “To keep her tethered here, so Vecna couldn't take her.”

Mike frowns. “Vecna?”

“One,” El says, which - okay, yeah, clearly there's a story there, but not the time. She holds her hands out to Lucas. “May I swap?”

Lucas looks over at Steve, and he takes Max's heart out and offers it to her.

“We figured the more helping, the better,” Lucas says.

El exchanges her heart for Max's, looking thoughtful. It's an even bigger rush, with El in the mix, and - even though Max's heart isn't in his chest anymore, he can feel the echo of her even more clearly.

Lucas sucks in a breath. “It's working,” he says. “She's stronger.”

“The more, the better,” El says thoughtfully.

“Eddie woke up from me and him and Dustin sharing,” Steve says, the realization coming over him. “I mean, it wasn't a real circle, but he was just regularly unconscious, not creepy wizard unconscious.”

El looks at Mike, who immediately turns on his heel and leaves. He comes back a few minutes later, with Dustin and Robin and Erica.

“We made Nancy and Jonathan and Argyle stay with Eddie,” Mike announces.

“Uh, yeah, do you want to tell us why?” Dustin asks.

El's eyes flash. “We're going to get Max back.”

Hearts change hands quicker than Steve can keep track of, but in the end, no one has their own heart in their chest. It's an avalanche of emotion that Steve can't make out - so much it’s almost overwhelming - until he feels something like a guiding hand, firm and insistent.

“Max,” El whispers.

Steve turns his thoughts completely on Max, focusing on her - on taking her to the arcade, on the skate park, on her hanging out in his kitchen as they cook dinner. One by one, everyone's emotions start to take focus - on how Max makes them feel, how much they care, how they need her here.

Max's eyes open.

—

They set up another rotation schedule, this time for Max, who looks a little shell shocked and overwhelmed by all the attention.

“Did you think we wouldn't do this for you?” Steve asks quietly when it's his turn, when Lucas and El are sleeping and it's just him and Max awake in her room.

She doesn't answer for a while, but he can feel her conflicted confusion and then unsteady acceptance.

“No,” she says after a while. “I knew you guys would.”

He breathes out, and they sit in silence for a bit.

“Did you read my letter?” she asks, purposefully not looking at him.

“Nah. You said it was just in case, and there wasn't going to be an in case. We weren't going to let Vecna have you.” He manages to keep his voice steady, though he knows she can feel the edge of the fear he'd had for her. “I wanted to hear what was in it from you.”

She makes a face, and he thinks she isn't going to tell him, but then she blurts out, “I said I wished you were my brother, not Billy.”

Oh.

His stomach drops out, and there's a rush of vertigo that leaves him breathless for a moment, but - not in a bad way.

He doesn't know how to respond to that, other than, “I am your brother.”

She scoffs. “It doesn't work like that.”

“Sure it does,” he counters, growing confident. “Billy was your brother just because of a piece of paper your parents signed, right?”

She frowns, finally looking at him again. “Yeah, I guess.”

“So what's stopping us?” He taps his chest, over where her heart beats. “We have each other's hearts. We'll always be family.”

Max looks away again, then, very quietly, says, “Okay.”

—

“Heard you call Max your sister when you were talking to the doctor earlier,” Eddie says.

Steve feels a little smile tug at his lips as he takes Eddie's hand. It grows when Eddie laces their fingers together.

“You know Dustin's going to throw a fit when he hears it, and insist that you were his brother first, right?” Eddie teases.

“Of course he is.” Steve rolls his eyes. “Welcome to my family. You sure you still want to stick around?”

He's joking, but Eddie's expression goes soft and contemplative.

“Welcome to your family, huh? You planning a proposal soon, big boy?” Eddie asks softly.

Steve's mouth goes dry. He thinks he should say something - anything - but nothing comes out.

“Swap?” Eddie asks, after a few minutes.

Steve's not sure if someone told him or if he figured it out himself, and part of him wants to ask Eddie if he's sure, but he decides to take Eddie at his word. He opens his chest up, holding out his heart.

Eddie copies him, and - it's his first real look at Eddie's heart. There's silver lines all over it, delicate scars mottling its surface, but it's almost as deep red as Steve's still is.

“Oh,” Steve breathes once Eddie's heart is safely tucked inside his chest again.

There's a love there so strong he almost doesn't know what to do with it - isn't sure if it's Eddie's or his for a moment before he realizes it's both of them feeding off each other.

“Yeah,” Eddie says quietly.

Steve lifts Eddie's hand up, presses a kiss to his knuckles. “I know what I want my future to look like,” Steve admits. “And I want you in it.”

Eddie swallows, and Steve can feel an edge of trepidation before it solidifies into something sharp and determined. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Steve asks.

“I'm sticking around, this time,” Eddie confirms. “For good.”

“Okay,” Steve agrees.

He knows it's a risk, but - right now, they're alone, and so he leans in to seal the promise their hearts are making with a kiss.

-----

And that's the final part for now! I do have a sequel planned down the road for what happens after they get out of the hospital, folding Eddie into the heart sharing and settling Eddie and Steve and Robin into a trio - I plan on using the tag "hearts out steddie" if anyone would like to follow it for when it comes out!

Thank you so much to everyone who commented, reblogged, liked, or otherwise interacted with this! Everyone's reactions were so amazing, and I really love reading your thoughts!!

Final taglist: @fairytalesreality @lostonceandneverfound @wheneverfeasible @awkwardgravity1 @theintrovertedintrovert @thewickedkat @ravenfrog @scarlet-malfoy @missmagillicuddy @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @ollyxar @cringe-culture-is-dead-99 @thedragonsaunt @makewavesandwar @cryptid-system @ajeff855 @mae-liz @the-fantastical-asexual @jettestar @warlordess @persnicketysquares @samsoble @my-love-of-books @mydysfunctionallife @dreamercec @holyangelstudentuniverse @breealtair @shunna @xtraordinarally @thatdamnfan @justalittledrainbamage @strangerfolks @disrespectedgoatman @amber-ambience @anxietyfulloption @thepossummoldypasta @irregular-child @th30ra3k3n @powdeeee @theohohmoment @5ammi90 @ominous-pool-light @beeeeeeeeeeeeeeens @rebellatlas @blackpanzy

[oraclefreak]

I think we, DPS fans, don't talk about Charlie during the school's tribute to Neil enough.

He's not singing.

Meeks, Pitts and Knox are singing, letting all their feelings out.

Cameron is singing a little calmer. You can see the sadness in him though.

Todd is stuttering words, not even singing—but he's trying.

Charlie does not sing.

I'm sorry for the picture's quality.

At first I thought he didn't sing because he was angry at Neil for leaving all of them; the Dead Poets, Keating and his dreams of becoming an actor. We saw at the beginning of the film how Charlie tried to convince Neil to speak up to his parents. I think he really wanted Neil to be happy, and he knew he wouldn't be if he stayed silent and pursued being a doctor because of his father.

During Neil and Mr. Keating's talk in the office, Neil mentioned Charlie: "We are not a rich family like Charlie's" (quoted by memory). Charlie tried to make Neil pursue acting when they had different social backgrounds; Charlie could go against his parents and not ruin everything. But Neil was an only child from a family that was mantained by his father and no one else... and not particularly wealthy either.

Even if they had those differences, they didn't separate them. And both of them were boys with dreams they couldn't follow easily. Charlie was more rebellious (especially when it came to school's authorities). Neil was more of the type to go with whatever people wanted. Charlie was more risk-taking. Neil's risk in the whole movie was participating in the play (yes, the club wasn't a Neil risk; it was all of the poets').

Charlie was really proud of Neil for finally following his dreams.

"He's good. He's really good."

Sounds familiar?

"I was good. I was really good."

This parallel makes sense to me, especially if we analyze the very first scene of Charlie and Neil in the movie. As I said, Charlie wanted Neil to speak up to his father. And when he did and it all broke apart; Neil said words Charlie had said about him during the play.

Obviously, Charlie disliked Neil's dad. We can be sure about that, definitely.

The school's tribute to Neil was either Mr. Perry's idea or he gave the permission to do it. The authorities thought of Neil's death as the institution's problem. Keating was suspicious from the beginning because of his unconventional teaching methods (plus Mr. Perry thought Keating told Neil to keep his place in the performance, which he did—but he made it look like it was a real problem... 1950s, let's go).

Charlie didn't think this event of singing words of grief and so on was for Neil. Neil didn't die to be missed. Neil died because he would miss out on what he wanted to do. But that reasoning didn't even come across the authorities' heads.

I think of Charlie as a person who has an internal philosophy, a reasoning that most people wouldn't think of. So, when every single one of his friends are singing because they miss Neil; Charlie does not sing because this is a way to pay respects to Mr. Perry for losing his son. A way to say the authorities are right. A way to say "Neil... poor boy." Neil was miserable because he wasn't free. And his only way to be free was... not living.

I believe this "Charlie wasn't singing" thing can be interpreted in many, many ways. I probably overanalyzed it because 6 years of DPS make someone go insane eventually. What I do think is clear is that Neil and Charlie's friendship was very obvious from the start. And yes, the not singing thing is something to observe and think about... but their whole friendship isn't very talked about in the fandom! And I had the idea to write about not only the movie's scenes that have both of them, but also how I perceive it (hence why I would describe this post as a theory rather than facts).

I would love to see other people's takes on this subject too !!

[lolita-lollipop]

Red

You, a mere farm girl, has found herself living a nightmare after hearing countless town rumors of a barbarian society moving west. A quiet girl in a quiet town is faced with many shocking discoveries in a matter of two days.

the day was hot, miserably so. the sun beating down on your bare back with an unrelenting warmth, making your work twenty times harder. The sun even warmed up the dirt and stone lying underneath your bare feet, working the fields barefoot was already hard enough, the burning sensation under your feet made it no easier.

You couldn't remember the last time you had water, or any form of nutrition. They didn't bother feeding the "low class" likes of you anymore, field and cattle workers, endlessly working for the sake of producing cash crops and cattle for the village. It wasn't slavery, they couldn't call it slavery as it had been outlawed for years now in this kingdom. Even so, you were paid dirt and were treated as slaves always had been.

you worked and worked and worked night and day, in every season of the year for the "sake of the village" they would say, you among a small group of farm workers lived in a small barn out back, with no insulation or form of bathroom. you shared one room between sixteen workers a small space not fit for even two.

Every day, all day, you would find yourself in a similar situation to this one, in a small sack of a dress covered in dirt, knees on the ground with your hands enveloped completely in dirt either pulling weeds from the ground or planting small seeds for potatoes or carrots or the occasional beet, with the hot sun beating down on your back, heaving and panting. just like you always did, you dug through the soil, pulling out weeds, your bare feet digging into the dirt behind you, burning with the heat of the sun. you were humming an old lullaby your mother used to sing before she died, peacefully doing your work no matter how hot and miserable you should be.

your humming came to a halt when you heard a burst of girly young giggles echo through the field off in the distance, the village girls. They would sometimes come out here for fun, either to make fun of the workers or to run around the fields, the owners didn't care so neither did you, if the rich kids liked the farm than so did their parents, meaning more money for everybody but you. You found yourself envious of their freedom in life. They didn't have to work, not like you did. You were about the same age, yet they were dressed in pretty sundresses with bows in their hair, while you were reduced to something akin to a potato sack, hair tied back in plain looking ponytail, they were plump and round and beautiful while you stayed frail and skinny and sickly looking.

You found yourself staring at them, hidden among the plants and crops, unseen by their unfocused eyes, it was easy to just drift off, to imagine yourself giggling with them, being part of their group, gossiping about the town rumors. It was a nice thought. unachievable, but nice.

"Did you hear about that foreighn kingdom conquering west?" they giggled to each other, clearly not noticing you tucked behind the corn rows. You had yet to hear anything about any foreign kingdom, then again you were fairly uninformed, your only news coming from your colleagues or your boss, who spoke to you once or twice a month. The two other girls let out false-sounding gasps, intrigued.

"I know right? My father speaks about the towns they've conquered. Apparently, it's brutal, they leave no survivors and burn the fields and town. " The girl's giggles became hushed and quiet as she went on, listening intently with wide eyes, you sat behind the plants. They were smiling as she said all of this, wasn't this supposed to be sad, be awful? how could they laugh at the destruction of so many towns? So many lives?

"My mother has been talking about the same things! Apparently, a couple survivors tried to come into town, and the guards sent them packing though. Good thing too, they looked dirty. dirt belongs in the field, not in a home." she brought her hand to her lips and let out a giggle, the rest followed suit while you stared. You couldn't tell if they were being serious, they lived ina different world, that much was obvious.

"Ive heard stories! How they kill the women and children in front of their families, burn down homes and villages, apparently their leader is the worst of them. The biggest and strongest and meanest" she snickered in a disgusting, prissy rich way.

"We dont have to worry of course, they would spare us, father would pay them all the money in the world. Its the low levels who should be worried." They all erupted in giggles at that one, and all looked towards your fellow workers, pointing at their clothes and matted hair and dirty hands. You were apart of the "low levels" as they had said, you hated that. And you hated these girls for making you feel less than them just for not being born with a roof over your head.

You scowled at them, now hating them with all of your energy. Maybe it was best that you stayed away from them, it makes sense why you aren't part of their clique, why you never would be part of their clique. Fuck them, and their high-class prissy fathers. You let out a sigh and tried to back up, wanting to disappear among the plants, accidentally cracking a stick with your bare foot and letting a hiss. All of their heads snapped towards your hidden spot.

"Who's there?" The snooty one with the high pitched nasally voice screeched out. You slapped your hand over your mouth, inching back as fast as you could without making noise, the owners of the farm would beat you if they knew you were eavesdropping on the high class girls.

"Its probably one of those workers" the other hissed, poison laced in her tone.

"Come out freak! you like listening on our conversation?" You ran as they yelled for you, abandoning your seeds and work. Their taunts followed you, however eventually their voices quieted and you were left with the shocking information that a foreign barbarian kingdom was migrating west. You were west, and so was your village. They were moving towards you, especially if the survivors from a raid were close enough to walk on foot to your village, they had to be close.

By the time the sun went down and all the workers were in the servants quarters you were able to ask your questions, the younger workers knew nothing, but the elderly and middle aged were willing to tell the stories from their younger times of the war. You had never taken a history class, or any class at all for that matter so you had no clue about anything they would say, you hadn't even known that there was a war.

They were foreigners who lived among the trees and the mountains, known for brutal manslaughter, they weren't human, that much a clear. They were giant apparently, after and stronger and larger,ith predatory instincts and habits, they were like animals. . They even lived longer. The eldest of the women here had been in one of the village raids all those years ago, they killed her entire family while she was hiding in the closet, then burned her house down, leaving her with burn scars all over her body. They told stories of torture and theft and assault, and the worst part about it was that they had no motive other than bloodlust, they looted homes, but they never demanded money or women or crops. Nobody knew what they wanted, they never told the towns their demands, they would just come and go, leaving fire and death in their dust.

The fact that they were approaching closer and closer as the days ticked by, left you shaking.

Mentions of their brutal leader left you even more fearful, as he preyed on the weak. Tearing out the throats of innocents and ignoring pleas or cries for help. You were weak. Like all those he has killed.

You went to sleep that night hoping that it was all just rumors, silly townsfolk gossip that the girls made up to fill the boredom and free time.

needless to say, you didn't sleep much that night.

---

When you woke up,the quarters were empty, you shared a bed with four other people, so waking up without the company of another was quite jarring. At first, you jolted out of bed, terrified of missing the morning work, knowing it would surely receive you a beating. However the others would wake you up if you had not arisen with the rest, and it was still quite dark outside, so that simply hadn't made any sense. looking around, the room was in a state of disarray, the beds oddly moved around, the thin blankets strewn about, and the little belongings that all of you had were either gone or thrown around the room. What had happened while you were asleep, and more importantly, how had you slept through it?

then, the smell of smoke hit you.

Thick and heavy it brought bile to your throat, this wasn't a forest fire or campfire, this wasn't something where empty air was burning, this smelled like meat, like flesh and bone being burned. you gagged, covering your mouth and nose with the thin fabric of the blanket. you stumbled out the creaky door of your quarters, coughing and trying to block the smell out, but were halted in your tracks.

Fire. Fire everywhere. The farm, the house, even the forest around. The only thing left untouched was the animal barn, thank god. Your eyes widened as you took in the sight of acres of land ablaze, weeks and weeks of work lit with slivers of red and yellow light. The warmth radiating off of it burned your face. were you dreaming? this must be some form of a dream.

dream or not, you were in danger.

Once you were able to get over the initial shock of your home being literally lit on fire, you tried to tune into any other noises than the crackling sound of flames. Anything to hint where you should go, where you should run. You had never left this farm, your mother was a slave here before it was outlawed, and you were born into the work, forbidden to leave. Not once had you stepped foot into town, and you certainly have never left the town. You didn't know where to go.

Then you heard it, the screams. people, so many people screaming, you didn't know where to go, but it would be in the opposite direction of wherever that was, whatever was making that noise. So, with a very impulsive decision you ran away from the screams, into the direction of an empty winding dirt road, you tried to think logically, if you could find someone then you could follow them and figure out where to go.

The quiet running was harsh on your bare feet, sprinting down the empty dirt road as quietly as you could was not easy for somebody medically unwell and malnourished. However, there would be much time later to sulk over achy bones and pained feet. Was there anybody even here? you could still smell the stench, although it was getting softer. However, you still clutched the cotton blanket in your hand. Your pace slowed as exhaustion kicked in, and to your luck, you heard voices. Not quiet and soft like the ones you were used to, loud and boisterous. men.

you found yourself frozen on the trail, listening in on the conversation as best as you could you inched to the side of the road, trying to hide among the trees. They looked strange, not dressed all properly like the owner of the farm or the village girls you had seen. Their clothes were woven in a precise ay you had never seen before, jewels and beads hung from their hair and necks, chests bare and blood splattered.The more you stared, the weirder and weirder they looked, too large, too muscular, their voices too harsh. inhuman sounding.

"The towns already a fucking gonor, chief said to wait to set the forest on fire till he was done in the homes" One of the Men laughed out with a menacing cackle, his shoulders shaking, the others seemed too happy, too excited to be starting fires. They were up to this.

"Those guards were a riot though. All tough until they realized we weren't going down "Please spare me!" and "We'll let you in we swear!"" the other mocked in a high-pitched voice. They laughed along as they mocked the guards of your town. As they walked down the road, getting closer and closer to you by the second, you were now able to see blood all over them, splattered on their strange clothing. Your breath hitched as they passed you, still hiding in the bushes by the side of the road.

Thank god they hadn't seen you, whoever they were, they clearly would not do you well. Two giant men conversing about arson and the death of the town guards were not anybody you wanted to mess with.

wait.

The realization hit you like a brick. These were the foreign raiders from the east. How were you so stupid, how had you let yourself forget in the span of a couple hours? They were tearing your town apart just like the others before. That's why your farm was ablaze. Thats why your Coworkers were gone. Thats why you heard screaming.

Your breath hitched as a couple tears left your eyes, you clutched the blanket in your hand, oh god, your town was going to be one of many trampled and raided beyond repair. your knees began to quiver along with your hands, you were a gonor. you had to run. now.

Stumbling back from the shock of the realization, you turned to quietly make your way further down the road, away from the town, away from those men. They were far enough that they wouldn't hear your quiet footsteps, you were sure of it. So you held your breath and pulled away from the tree, staying in the dark.

However, while your footsteps were quiet as a mouse, the same white blanket that had brought you comfort just moments ago had doomed you, when you had maneuvered away so focused on the quietness of your footsteps, you had failed to notice that delicate cotton blanket had gotten snagged on a tree branch. pulling away from you and causing a loud snap in the branches. Your breath hitched as you stared at the tree with wide eyes, stumbling back and letting the blanket free from your hand. You sent a glance at the two men who had been meters away, praying for their hearing to be weaker than their muscles.

They were instead, standing feet away from you, staring directly at you.

A whimper escaped your lips as you backed away in fear, turning on your heel and making a move to run directly backwards. Not before the taller of the two could reach out and grab the collar of the sack you called a dress, yanking you back and knocking the wind out of you. before you knew it you were lifted off the ground with one arm by the collar of your dress, staring in terror as the eight foot tall man in front of you looked down with excited eyes. He flashed a smile with all too sharp teeth, sending you sprialing into endless fear.

The other said something in what sounded like a foreign language, not something you would ever understand. Before you could move, the larger of the two bendy down and smelled the air right next to you, with that his smile dropped and the two locked eyes. Some kind of realization hit them as well, while you remained unknowing and absolutely terrified.

"well, looks like we missed one, didnt we?" he questioned with a deep voice, the fear alone sent your heart into a free fall, beating out of control. you couldn't breathe, your lungs pulsing in and out against your will as panic flooded them. spots clouded yourision as the man continued to say something, and with one breath you felt your consciousness slip out from under your feet.

---

you woke up lying on the hard feeling of cement stones, the stench from the fire before worse than you had ever smelled it, sending you into a fit of coughs. Squinting your eyes open, you were able to see small cottage-like buildings, you were in the village, weren't you? You were in the square judging by the large open space of square stones. with heavy eyelids you tried to unblur your vision, and as you did, you found that cold sense of panic enveloping your bloodstream yet again. red, red everywhere. you were sitting in a puddle of it.

Silently freaking out, you pushed yourself up with weak limbs, trying your best to stand, you couldn't remember what had happened, but you were still alive, that's what was important. looking around none of those men were near, but the fires were. should you even bother running? would they come back and catch you. there was blood soaked through your dress, your head ached, and you found your bare feet wet with the blood of the townsfolk.

you found yourself dry heaving due to the stench, tears escaping your eyes, all while stumbling around the square in the meantime. your attention was immediately drawn to the high pitched screaming of what sounded to be a girl. finding the sound with your eyes, it was one of the girls from the farm, white bow still tied in her hair. She was lying on the ground, a pool of blood lying at where her head had met the stone just moments ago, her hands were up above her head in a shield-like motion.

"Please! Please! I can pay you anything you want! Money and jewels or crops I swear I am no commoner! I just need my father! Please!" she screamed up, your eyes panned up from the girl lying on the ground to a man. not just a man, a giant. at least ten feet tall with arms a width larger than your head, he had icy hair that seemed to stick out in every direction like an explosion, and eyes. oh god. his eyes were red as the blood surrounding him, piercing and raging more so than anything you had ever seen. He was looking down at her like she was a bug ready to be squashed, with such hatred that you could swear he had a personal vendetta.

This was him, this was the infamous leader that was ever-so talked about. and he exceeded expectations, this man was a walking nightmare, fear itself packed into ten feet of muscle and blonde hair. You hadn't even realized his plans until his foot came down on her head, and with a crunch, the screaming came to an abrupt halt.

For the third time in two days, you found yourself frozen, staring at somebody you would never dare to talk to. And for the third time,they were staring right back at you.

The giant man flicked his boot as red splattered on the ground next to him, all while still staring at you, he let the girl's wrist go, and dropped her body to the ground with a thump. he made slow strides to a frozen little you, each step sending shivers down your spine, as you stumbled back, finally able to move, he was already inches in front of you, leaning over to be face to face.

You didn't bother running, learning from your mistakes that running results in nothing and you still get caught. Instead, you met his eyes for a moment, finding something else deep down. He was leaned over, bent down on one knee, inches away from your face. this was it, you give up. you're dead.

you squinted your eyes closed, deciding it would be best not to look as you met your inevitable death, face to face with the grim reaper himself, you chose not to stare him in the eye. peacefully accepting your fate. You waited for impact, waited to feel something hit you over the head or knock your kneecaps out. You waited for something, anything to end your miserable existence.

but it never came.

your hands quivering, your heart pittering in your chest at five hundred beats per minute. tears running freely down your cheeks, catching dirt and blood on the way down. A hand gently met your face, cupping your cheek, You peeled your eyes open to meet his own piercing crimson globes.

And to your surprise, the man smiled. not like the smile the others gave you, not like a predator bearing its teeth, but a genuine smile, one that you had only ever seen worn by your mother.

"Pretty" he grumbled out, an accent hanging over his voice. it was deep and gravelly and powerful. his giant hand came up to touch your cheek and wipe your tears away, wiping dirt and blood off with his fingertips. This hands could crush your neck with ease if he wanted to, but he wont. Why wont he?

"Why are you doing this?" you sobbed out, finding every last ounce of fight left in you to pull back from his touch and defiantly meeting his crimson gaze once more. your breathing shallow, you felt at risk of feinting once more. He tilted his head with a questioning grunt, and you decided to play your luck once more.

"Why do you raid my village, what have you to gain? You sobbed in his face and his smile shifted and morphed slowly into a frown, he cocked his head even further, his face twisting up into confusion.

"This is not a raid, we do not raid. were not cruel. " His gruff voice continued to send shivers down your spine, yet his words let rage flow through your bones. hundreds dead, maybe thousands, all of your friends, and family even, probably also dead. and this "wasn't a raid" according to him. you couldn't find it in yourself to care that he was twice your height, and quadruple your strength, you wanted to hit him so hard that he would feel it for days, even if it meant breaking your wrist.

"Theyre all dead, why? We have done nothing." You couldn't believe you were talking to one of them right now, you could barely believe that you had the courage to even muster a word, let alone a whole conversation. His hand found your waist, the other touching your face once more. What the hell was happening? surrounded by blood and death and this man, no, this thing was touching youso lovingly. the shivering of your hands threatened to come back again as you held his gaze.

"We look for our mates, and we prove that we are strong enough to be worth your time." The second the words left his mouth youwere once again reminded that he was anything but a human, they were creatures of nature, you'd seen squirells and horses and cows find mates, never humans. but you were stupid to think he was even remotely close to a human. the words had your face twisting in distress, and you stumbling back, your consciousness threatening to slip from under you once more.

"mates?" you questioned, voice wavering with uncertainty. this could not be happening, you could not be talking about love surrounded by bodies on top of bodies in a burning town with a man who wasn't really a man and instead a foreign alien like giant creature.

"mates,

you."

and with those words your eyes rolled back into your skull and your consciousness slipped through the cracks of the stone, you fell forward and the man was glad to catch you. standing up with you in his arms was a triumphant moment for him, finding his mate as a real, as a king was a monumentous occasion. you were his, undeniably his. he had finally found you.

katsuki bakugou had finally found his mate.

[justakiro]

WHO THE HELL IS DAVE?

୨୧ — ꒰TWISTED WONDERLAND X READER

୨୧ — ꒰in which the boys who have fell head over heals for you, but you mention another name when having a romantic moment with them. Leading to many misunderstandings

Ft. Ace, malleus, idia

A/N: I most likely was on steroids the whole time I wrote this. Anyways reblogs and likes are appreciated.

THE TWO OF YOU - had just finished classes and planned to bond with each other, for you and him did not have any other plans. Unbeknownst to you, he had already planned this out. He planned to get closer to you using the time and utilize it as an opportunity to ask you out.

Ace

You and ace were chilling inside your dorm, chatting casually and exchanging light jokes with each other. He fidgeted with his hands, patiently waiting just for the right moment to take the hit and ask you out right on the spot.

"You have something in your mind?" you questioned him, the look on his face gave away everything. It was now or never!

"Yeah actually-.. Do..you mind if we could hang out after school? Maybe play some arcade" Ace took a glance at you while he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, seeing how you nod your head, he suddenly felt a rush of adrenaline through his veins

"I'd love to Dave"

Well damn.

-Word's couldn't express how his excitement went from 0-100

He thought you were just playing with him till he heard you apologize, saying Dave was a friend you used to hang out with alot.

He brushed it off of course, acting cool and smug at the outside. But in the inside he was basically dying

He didn't want to accept it, but he was beginning to think this Dave person was someone very close to you. So close it made him shudder for it was so unbearable.

You two still went out together after of course.. But the look on his face made it seem like the light had sucked out every single soul in him.

Asked cater to find this Dave person even though there was probably a million of them.

It wasn't long though before his jealousy turned into determination.

Oh so what, this Dave was close to you? Pfft, that was all in the past. HE was gonna be the closest to you now, not him.

Idia

You and idia always hang out with each other after classes but today was different! Since idia himself invited you to his dorm to play games, give each other tips and tricks on the games you both shared a common interest in.

But little did you know this was the final step into finally asking you out! (staying in his dorm more)

See idia wasn't an oblivious person when he started to develop feelings for you.. He was just thinking about how you deserved someone better. But to be honest if he DID see you with someone else he'd immediately feel jealous.

So it was now or never!! He mentally prepared himself for 3 weeks for this moment! Also Ortho was hiding somewhere with a earmic to help Idia steal your heart!

Both of you were just in his room playing games like usual, Your eyes were fixated on the screen though, the only sounds being the keyboard tapping and how focused you are in defeating this boss once and for all.

And when Idia caught a glimpse of the word's 'You Died' pop up, he knew it was go time. Ortho rooted for him... And probably was the only one rooting.

With a final deep breath he tapped your shoulder with his finger that was shaking immensely "I-Uhm, (Name)... Since you're still you know getting wrecked by this boss... W-Wana h-hang out more in my dorm?...." Idia just continued to shrink more and more as he continued to talk, don't blame him though this was his very first time asking anybody out.

With a joyful smile you nodded your head at him "Mm! Sure Dave" you immediately covered your mouth accidentally saying the name of your friend back at earth.

You swear you saw Idias soul start descending to hell with his face flushing in embarrassment while you tried to comfort and apologize to him that it was a mistake.

-Idia you sad sad man...

His mannerisms show how he wanted to dig himself a hole and never return on the surface ever again

3 weeks of mentally preparing himself and he got called another person...

When you left his dorm thinking he needed some time, Idia immediately wailed on the floor using his hoodie to cover himself further

Ortho emerged and comforted him, already trying to track down who this Dave person was.

A tiger is strong but not as strong as Idias mood swings. At first he was depressed over the fact that his crush called him someone else but then got frustrated.

Does this mean Dave frequently plays games with you? Bring him to the ring and Idia will show them how much of a pro gamer he is

He programs a virtual person of Dave inside a game and just spam kills them over and over again to make his frustration subside.

Happy ending though since both of you still played games and you finally defeated the boss.

Malleus

Malleus had always been a gentleman to you the moment his eyes spotted you at the ramshakle, he often showed a softer and sweeter side towards you and nothing like what people imagine him as a cold and mercy less dragon.

He didn't try hiding his feelings either;holding hands, playing with your hair, gifting you things he thought would suit you, all of that kinds of things.

So expect that one day he would abruptly climb your window and ask you if you'd like to be his partner.

Now listen, imagine at 2 in the morning you wake up to the presence of green eyes staring at your soul politely saying to be his partner.

So you took the most reasonable answers, you were either high or still dreaming.

"O-Okay Dave" you accidentally spurted out the name of your closet friend back in your childhood.

Malleus was full on ready to get on one knee until you suddenly said 'Okay Dave?'

Who is this person named Dave? A friend? A significant other? Friends with benefits? Whatever it is Malleus felt something awful inside his stomach

Went to Lilia to ask him for dating advice and told him to 'climb up a window and propose your love to them right away' !

Is this Dave person trying to steal you from him? He doesn't like sharing you know.

You swore a bright flash of thunder strook and hitted a tree nearby making you almost jump outta bed.

You calmed the pissed dragon off though saying it was a mistake, coming up with an excuse that Dave was a made up.

This made Malleus slightly calm down and not strike everything down on his way.

You saved a life of a unfortunate Dave...

But Malleus still got on one knee and proposed to you, but you said you still weren't in the age of marriage yet making Malleus understand your reasoning, he'll just wait patiently for the right moment again.

[aphroditelovesu]

Yan!Alexander the Great w/ Soldier's Pregnant Widow!Reader

❝ 📜 — lady l: this is a commission that I was very happy to do! I'm sorry for the delay, I confess that I had forgotten this in my drafts and only remembered it after reading your messagem, anon! I hope you enjoy it and, as requested, it is more based on Alexander's feelings for the Reader. Forgive me for any mistakes! ❤️

❝tw: mention of death, mourning. pregnancy and fluff.

❝📜pairing: yandere!alexander the great x female!reader.

You were the wife of one of Alexander's cavalry soldiers who, unlike many other soldiers' wives, decided to accompany him to war. You loved your husband deeply and did not want to be separated from him.

Your husband also loved you deeply. He wasn't a general or a high-ranking officer, but your husband tried to make you as comfortable as possible in this violent environment. He was loyal to you, something rare but one you appreciated. You loved him with everything in you.

Until the day you lost him. During the Battle of Granicus, your husband died in battle and your world collapsed. You had lost the man you loved and it felt like an endless road. Alexander, being the beloved King that he was, buried the dead soldiers with the necessary honors and spoke to the wives present in the camp. And one of them was you.

Alexander was immediately enchanted by you. He was surprised at how you handled your grief, clearly you loved your husband very much and the pain of the loss you felt captivated him. He didn't take long to approach you subtly at first.

Alexander was kind and protective, offering his condolences and staying by your side. His words were kind and his discreet smiles were reserved just for you. More observant people didn't take long to notice the King's interest in you, but they never dared to say anything, not when they knew his temperament.

You found yourself lost in a sea of pain and sadness, unable to find comfort in anything around you. Alexander's comforting presence was like an anchor in the midst of the storm, offering support and compassion in such a dark time. He understood your pain as he had also lost soldiers close to him.

Alexander felt compelled to protect and care for you, not only out of gratitude for your husband's sacrifice, but also because he genuinely cared for you. His discreet smiles and kind gestures were an attempt to ease your pain, to be a ray of light amid the darkness you faced.

Although you fought your feelings, you found yourself enjoying the King's presence. But you soon discovered that you were pregnant by your late husband and you decided to focus on honoring your husband's memory and focusing on the baby growing inside you.

Alexander didn't like it at all when you tried to move away from him but he soon understood why. He wasn't angry or anything, but surprised and slightly bothered. You would have a child, something he wanted, but it wouldn't be with him. He couldn't blame you, though, it wasn't your fault.

As time passed, your belly grew and the pain of loss lessened, you found yourself more and more involved in the camp's activities, keeping yourself busy to keep away the thoughts that haunted you at night. And you found yourself increasingly close to Alexander, who made his feelings for you very clear.

He respected the fact that you weren't ready to get married due to the fact that you were pregnant, he could wait until the baby was born. But he wasn't far from you, spending his free time by your side while also taking care of you. You owned your own tent and personal effects, along with those of your late husband.

In time, your husband's child was born, and you held it in your arms with love and sadness. It was a part of him you would carry forever, a living reminder of the man you loved so much. Alexander was present and he acted as if your child were his. He didn't even like it when people mentioned it wasn't his.

You were his and your baby was his too. Alexander was skeptical about it at first but he warmed up to the idea. The mourning period is over and your child has been born, now it is time for you to become his wife and have children of his own.

[folklaur21]

What would've should've been

Pairing: Theodore Nott x fem!ravenclaw!reader

Summary: Theodore Nott didn't truly know what love felt like until he found you. But now all he can do is sit and imagine what should've been.

Warnings: Mentions of death/killing, Battle of Hogwarts, use of Y/N

Word Count: 2.3k

Before You

Theodore Nott isn't the happiest person in the world. Scratch that, he might be the most subdued, emotionally complex guy to have ever existed. Hardly anything made him smile, next to nothing made him laugh. That's just how he was, is, and how he will always be.

It isn't completely his fault. People are never born 'sad' or 'emotionless'. Theo was brought up this way. It was ingrained into him as a child, silently impacting his life forever, and he didn't even realise it. Well, that was until his mother died. At the hands of his father.

Theodore's mother was a gentle soul. Sweet and caring, she always looked after her son. She gave him everything a child needed, wanted, and then some. The one thing she couldn't provide for Theo? A stable father, who wasn't an alcoholic, abusive pig. Though she did try, the fear she had of Theodore's father never ceased throughout their marriage. She just had to try to shelter Theodore from this cold, uncaring lifestyle.

She could only protect her son so much. When Theodore was just nine years old, she couldn't take the abuse from his father anymore. So she tried to escape. From her house, from her husband, from her life. Yet she failed. And he found out. Theodore Nott Sr. was not happy with this. So he did the only thing that he thought could ease his troubles. He killed his wife. The mother of his child. The child that had heard the Unforgiveable Curse uttered from his father's lips. The child who watched the flash of green light emitted from his father's wand. The child who had to watch his own mother, the only person who truly cared for him, die.

When he started Hogwarts, Theodore wanted a somewhat fresh start. Free from the burdens of his home life, he made friends.(Arguably, they were friends who his father would have approved of. If his father even cared.) At school, Theodore worked hard, and tried to mask the emotions he had always been told to oppress. Anger. Hatred. Vulnerability. So none of his friends truly knew what his life was like. Except for Lorenzo.

Theo told Enzo Berkshire everything. It was easier, having someone understand why you were like you were. Someone who you trusted with your deepest, darkest secrets. Someone who cared about you. That's how the two became best friends. Practically inseparable, 24/7.

During You

Having a connection with someone was something Theodore didn't truly seek throughout his lifetime. Especially now, in his fourth year at Hogwarts. Apart from Enzo, he was fine with keeping to himself, keeping a low profile and staying out of everyone's way. That was, until he saw you.

"Enzo, I don't want to go."

"Please, Theo, I want you to come. I'll be lonely without you." Enzo pleaded with his friend.

"I don't want to go to the Yule Ball. And besides, I didn't ask anyone to go with me." Theodore replied, still resisting the idea.

"So? No-one really cares if you're with someone or not. It's supposed to be fun." Enzo says with a sigh as he flops down next to Theo on his bed.

Theo scoffs. "Says you! How many girls asked you to go with them? 15?"

Lorenzo turns slightly pink at his friend's comment. "23..."

Theo lets out an exasperated sigh. "Exactly," Theo says, but after a moment he decides, "I will go to the ball with you Enz. Only because it's that, or sit around here or in the common room with all the first years."

So, that was how he ended up standing at the side of the Great Hall, sipping a glass of pumpkin juice, and watching all of his friends dancing with whoever they brought to the Ball. Theo didn't really mind. Once again, he was merely waiting in the wings, not really expecting anything grand to happen to him. At least, that's what he thought would happen. Until he saw you.

You were with some of your friends on the dancefloor. Laughing and smiling, you were carefree, living your life to it's full potential. Theo couldn't bear to take his eyes off of you. It's not like you would have seen him anyway, with him lurking in the shadows.

After he had spent what felt like forever watching you, Enzo came to his friend's side, offering a new glass of pumpkin juice, which Theo gladly accepted.

"Who's that?" Theo asked his friend, nodding his head in your direction.

"That's Y/N. Y/L/N I think. She's in Ravenclaw. She's actually quite clever, I sat next to her in arithmancy last year." Enzo pauses for a second. "Why do you want to know?"

"I don't know," Theo shrugs, nonchalant. "I just... don't remember seeing her before, that's all."

"Oh. Well, she's really kind. And sweet." Enzo smiles before rushing of again to resume dancing, leaving Theo to mull over his thoughts. Thoughts of you.

A week later, whilst sat in Potions, Theodore couldn't help but watch you, sitting across from him in the classroom. Strange. He had never noticed you before, but now it seemed you were the only thing plaguing his mind. He hardly took any notice of Professor Snape that lesson, watching you as you took notes with your brow furrowed, and how you twirled your quill around in your fingertips if you seemed distracted.

Over the next few weeks, Theodore Nott grew to know lots about you, even if you didn't yet realise it. He knew your favourite subject (Charms), your favourite sweets from Honeydukes (Chocolate Frogs, because you collected the cards). He even knew how you liked to spend your Sundays (sat in the courtyard with a book and a hot chocolate). Theo was drawn to you, for some unknown reason, and not even he could figure out why.

In the weeks leading up to your exams, you spent an increasing amount of time in the library, studying. Funnily enough, so did Theodore. He wanted to do well academically, even if his friends preferred skiving off and messing with first years. So, that was how he came to speak to you for the first time, five whole months after he was first captivated by you.

"Can I sit here? All the other tables are either occupied or slightly sticky and I don't want to mess up my books"

"Uhh, sure!" Theodore said, shocked that you had even come over to him. "No," he told himself. "She's only over here because nowhere else was free. Don't get your hopes up."

"I'm Y/N, by the way." You smile at him, and wave your wand to get your books laid out on the desk in front of you.

"Theodore. But you can call me Theo." Theodore said, as he found himself smiling in return.

The two of you started to talk about anything and everything; school, exams, your hobbies, interests, just your lives in general. And that's how Theo realised that, maybe he wasn't such a cold, uncaring teenager after all.

A week or so later, the two of you were sat under the shade of an oak tree overlooking the Black Lake, studying for, you guessed it, exams. That moment was when Theo finally plucked up enough courage to ask you something.

"Hey, Y/N?" he asked, taking a deep breath.

"What?" you replied, looking up from your book.

"I was wondering, would you maybe like to, and it's OK if you don't, I don't mind, you don't have to say yes or anything because it's completely your choice-"

"Spit it out, Theo!" you giggled, humoured by his rambling.

"Right. Sorry." Theo said, trying to calm himself down. "Umm, would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend? And could we possibly go to the Three Broomsticks? You know, just... us?"

Your eyes widened, before you smiled at the boy's worried expression. "Of course! Theo I'd love to."

You wrapped your arms around him and gave him a small kiss on the cheek before returning to your book, leaving Theodore grinning as if he'd just won the lottery. Which, with you, he basically had.

After You

It had been a while since Theodore Nott had been back at Hogwarts. Since he had gotten the Dark Mark, at his father's force, he had stayed working for The Dark Lord, being a Death Eater. He hated it. It was a life his father had forced him into, a life which wasn't truly his. And now he was back at the one place which had been a home to him, but now he was here to destroy it.

Theo tried to look for you. The one person who he trusted, and the one person who trusted him. Theo wasn't here to fight. He wasn't here to kill. He couldn't do that here. His safe place, where his father couldn't physically torture him. Where you were.

Before his sixth year at Hogwarts, Theo was held under the Imperius curse by his father, and the searing skull tattoo, the tattoo that would hurt him forever, was imprinted into his left arm. When school started again, he couldn't bear to tell you, his girlfriend, what had happened. But he did, because between you two, there were no secrets. When you found out, all you were was supportive. You helped Theo though his pain and anguish, but what he didn't know is that when you first found out, you cried for hours. Crying about his future, your future, angry at the world you live in for being so cruel. Crying was really the only thing you could do.

After Dumbledore's death, Theodore did what he thought would be best for your relationship, best for you.

"You can't be serious, Theodore?" you said, trying to keep your voice levelled and clear, holding back the tears.

That hurt Theo. You never called him Theodore, unless you were really frustrated. Which hadn't happened until now. "Y/N please, I have to, it's for your safety."

"My SAFETY? Theo, I couldn't care less about that right now. Please, don't do this." You couldn't hold back any longer. The tears were now streaming down your face.

"I don't want to, but-"

"But what, Theo? I love you!"

"I love you too, but-"

"Then surely that's all that matter?" you say, exasperated. "We love each other. We can run away together, and live in hiding until it's safe for us to come out, to be together."

"No, we can't, you know we can't, we'll be found and then... you'd... You'd be killed." Theo says in a small voice. "And I can't let that happen to you. Please, Y/N, just listen to me. As soon as this is over, we can get back together. We can live together, start over together. But it can't happen now. Not yet. Please, Y/N, wait for me."

You can't stop crying now, and you lean over to Theo and kiss him. "OK. When it's all over. I'll be waiting for you, Theo. You'll definitely come back to me?"

"Of course I will, Y/N. I promise I'll find you."

And of course, that's what he was currently doing. Looking for you. He had been waiting a year to see your face again, hoping you hadn't forgotten about him. However now he couldn't find you. Running through the corridors, shouting you name, dodging curses and rubble, Theo's only goal was to find you. And he did.

There you were at the top of the Astronomy tower, a split lip and wearing a torn blue jumper, you were aiming all sorts of hexes at a Death Eater. Theo was so relieved, and began firing spells at your opponent, until he was knocked unconscious. At that point, Theo kicked the limp body over the balcony, not caring what would happen.

"Y/N." Theo smiled. "I told you I'd come back."

You pulled Theo into a hug and kissed him. "Theo!" you breathed.

"I love you more than anything, Y/N." All Theo could do was look into your bright, tearful eyes, relieved that he could see you once again before-

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

That fateful curse.

A flash of green light.

Your body fell limp in Theo's arms.

Your eyes lost their brightness.

"NO!"

Theo tried to pull you up, tried to hold you tight, but it was no use. You were gone. Theo looked up to see your murderer, looking him in the eyes. His father.

Your death at the hands of Nott Sr. ensured Nott Sr.'s death at the hands of his son. That was the first and last time that Theodore Nott would ever use the killing curse, and it only made sense for it to be on the person that used it on the two people who he had loved most in the world.

When the Battle of Hogwarts was over, most of Voldemort's supporters were dead, captured, or had fled the scene when it was evident that they were losing. But two Death Eaters stayed behind, simply because they couldn't bear to leave the castle like this. They felt it was partly their fault. Those two Death Eaters were Theodore Nott and Lorenzo Berkshire.

Whilst everyone gathered in the Great Hall, Enzo wandered the, now ruined, corridors of a place he loved so dearly. What he didn't expect to find his best friend, leaning on the crumbled wall of the Astronomy tower, cradling someone in his arms. Not to mention the fact that his father lay on the ground mere feet away.

"Please, Y/N, you can't be dead, you can't. I came back for you I-"

"Theo?" Enzo inquired, sitting on the floor next to his best friend, who was in fits of tears.

"He killed her, Enz. He killed her so- So I killed him. I had to."

"It's OK, Theo." Enzo replied, putting an arm around his friend's shoulder, and letting him cry.

The pair fell into a comfortable silence, with the sound of everyone in the castle talking and grieving the loss of friends and family. The two could have been down there with them, celebrating the demise of the people who made their lives hell.

But instead, all Theodore Nott could think about is what should've been.

[axiina]

PLSSS soft corio comforting reader after they get he saves her(or them idm) from the arena after she tried to say a proper goodbye to her tribute (kinda like sejanus) but maybe she gets hurt and super traumatized but hes there for her idk

If I Killed Someone for You

Pairing: Coriolanus Snow x capitol!reader (gender neutral)

Summary: It wasn't supposed to end this way. You just wanted to say goodbye to your tribute, Lamina. Luckily, your boyfriend was there and made sure you didn't get hurt. Just why do you look at him differently now?

Words: 1.5k

Themes: hurt with comfort, a bit of fluff but also angst

Warnings: slight spoilers to movie and book, small changes to canon, Pup isn't Lamina's mentor, character's death, murder, a bit of trauma, blood, comforting, a bit of argument, death, overthinking, reader feels guilty about situation, referring reader as 'you'

Author's note: Lamina deserved better so you are her mentor, fuck this idiot Pup.

It was supposed to be fluff, but it came out a bit sad and traumatic. We got a soft Coriolanus, leaving aside the fact that he killed someone in the process. Enjoy!!

It was a pure act of desperation.

You just wanted to tell Lamina what you hadn't managed to do before. You had grown close to the young girl, who was horrified by what was happening. The very fact that she was in the arena, alone, without any support was driving you crazy.

She didn't deserve what happened to her. You hoped that maybe Lamina would be able to win and would be able to return home to the family she missed so much.

With each hour of the Hunger Games, her chances seemed to get smaller and smaller. For those few days, you sat like you were on pins and needles staring at the big screen at the Academy. After a while, the helplessness returned and you had to try not to cry in front of the cameras.

Lamina did not deserve it. None of the tributes deserved it. You did everything you could to make Lamina feel as comfortable as possible during the meetings and her stay at the Capitol. In the arena, you tried your best to make sure she wasn't hungry or thirsty. You didn't want her to get hurt. That, however, was not enough. Seeing a boy from her district, Treetch, joining another group made you feel anxious.

"What if they kill her? What if he betrays her…" This thought ran through your head repeatedly like a mantra.

She became weaker and weaker every day.

Your last meeting was too short. You didn't have time to say goodbye to her properly. You wanted her to know that even though you were physically somewhere else, your heart and thoughts were with her, at the arena. You had to say goodbye to her. You wouldn't forgive yourself if Lamina died without hearing a proper goodbye.

That's why you decided to see her one last time. Under cover of darkness, you crept into the arena in disguise and quietly snuck under the beam where Lamina was. Perhaps foolish and reckless, but you didn't think about the consequences. Ever since the girl got to the arena you couldn't find a place. You slept only short naps and didn't even want to meet Coriolanus, who was getting more and more worried about you.

While you were at the arena, every now and then you looked nervously around to the sides to see if anyone was coming. Lamina was surprised when you showed up. It was all surreal and you felt as if you were detached from reality. As soon as you saw Lamina you started crying. You both cried. Now the knowledge of how dangerous the arena was came to you like a powerful punch. She can't die. You don't remember what exactly you told her. You don't know if you said anything that made sense to her at all. The adrenaline made your mind kind of foggy. However, you know that it lifted her spirits. She knew you were with her and supporting her. You don't know exactly how much you were in the arena.

Everything happened so fast when Coriolanus grabbed your arm. Your brain didn't even register the fact that the boy appeared there practically out of nowhere. He looked terrified. He spoke quickly and incoherently. You only understood as he begged you to run away from there, because at any moment someone might come out of the tunnels and kill you. You were frozen with panic when it came to you. They hate the Capitol. They hate you too, and they certainly wouldn't think twice before killing you. Your fear was increased when Lamina's eyes widened in horror and only one word came out of her mouth.

Run.

Tributes began to leave the tunnels. As soon as they noticed that there were two mentors in the arena they started running towards you. Because of the adrenaline in your veins, you don't remember much of what happened next. You and Coriolanus ran as fast as you could when Coral, Mizzen, Tanner and Bobbin chased you while holding objects in their hands that could be the cause of your upcoming death.

The next scene that stuck in your mind was when your boyfriend hit one of the tributes on the head with a wooden plank. The boy fell down, and Coriolanus, without thinking much, hit him a second time. Then another and another. You looked at the body of Bobbin lying lifeless and Snow standing over him, unable to get a single word out. Your heart was raging and your head was spinning, feeling fear. You were terrified.

You couldn't tell what was the reason. The fact that you had just nearly died in the arena, or…. no, it couldn't have been that. He was merely trying to defend you. Yes, that was definitely the reason. Coriolanus is not a murderer, he was just…. he was terrified and acted emotionally. Bobbin would have killed him if Coryo hadn't done it first. Then you would have been next in line. Yes, that's what would have happened.

Both of you were injured, but at that moment it didn't even cross your mind to ask him how he was feeling. The Peace Keepers almost carried you out of there. Your parents were as terrified as you were. By the time you were sitting in your room wrapped in a blanket as your mother hugged you crying something finally hit you. You could have died. Your family would have been devastated. Your friends and…Coriolanus. Well, exactly, Coriolanus. He almost died because of your fault. Your stupidity and recklessness. Now he is injured and probably suffering, and you are not there with him. After what happened you didn't even say a stupid thank you to him.

"What were you even thinking! You could have died there! Did you even think about your loved ones? About me? What would have happened to me if you had died there? If I didn't get there in time!" Coriolanus repeated walking in circles around the empty classroom, the next morning. You had your head bent down, and tears were running down your cheeks. How could you do something like that?

Coriolanus sighed and sat down next to you, wrapping his arms around your body, pulling you closer.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't yell like that. You're probably still terrified. I was just…scared. I was scared that I would lose you."

It seemed to you that his voice cracked as the boy pressed his cheek against your head.

"Don't do that again. Don't scare me like that. If you had died I wouldn't have forgiven myself. I wouldn't be able to live normally." He whispered in your ear with a trembling voice.

"I'm here, love. I will always be until you have had enough of me. Although, most likely, even then I won't give you a break." A quiet, slightly trembling chuckle left his lips, at which you also smiled involuntarily.

"Enough of you? Never." you replied in an amused voice gently pulling away, but still remaining in his embrace. "I'm sorry, Coryo…I'm so terribly sorry for you. I just wanted to say goodbye to Lamina. I don't want anything bad to happen to her. I don't want her-"

"Shhh, it's okay." Coriolanus rested his forehead against yours and took your face in his hands gently stroking your cheeks. "It is past. The most important thing is that we came out of it alive. Lamina is also alive and relatively well, excluding the circumstances."

"Thank you, Coryo. Thank you for everything. For saving me that night and that you do not resent me for it." You whispered, trying not to cry. You nuzzled your cheek into his palm and placed a gentle kiss on it.

Coriolanus' face moved closer to yours and he gently brushed your lips with his own as if he was afraid he would frighten you.

"I am angry at you. Earlier even furious, but I love you too much to stay mad at you." Coryo gently rubbed his nose against yours and looked into your eyes.

His beautiful blue eyes. Cold, but at the same time it makes you feel at home. Eyes that yesterday were raging and at one point…full of hatred.

Your smile slowly disappeared as you remembered what happened to Bobbin.

"Do you want to talk about what happened yesterday-" you started uncertainly, but Coriolanus cut you off.

"No." His voice seemed cold and in a moment you were embarrassed and your heart beat faster. You were the reason he had to do it, and now you're reminding him of it. Maybe he thinks you are blaming it on him.

Your thoughts, however, were interrupted by your boyfriend's voice. Softer this time.

"I didn't mean to. I didn't want to do it, but it was stronger than me…Please don't hate me. I love you and I did it for you too."

His eyes were glassy and he seemed panicked. You shook your head in denial and took his hand in yours bringing it close to your lips and kissed his knuckles.

"No, you're a good person, Coryo. Nothing has changed. I continue to love you, and you only proved me during the night that I couldn't find a better one."

Coriolanus wrapped his arms around you and kissed your forehead.

"You know you don't have to…you don't have to be afraid of me. I wouldn't hurt you. Never."

You froze for a brief moment. It was as if he was reading your mind. How could you think that about him? He saved you. If not for him, you would be dead.

It was stronger than that. When he approached you this morning your heart was beating faster and a chill went through your body.

"It's because I love him. Typical reaction" You repeated to yourself in your mind.

Every time you felt his hands stroking your hair while you were hugging, you thought about how tightly he gripped that wooden plank with which he cracked the head of the boy in the arena. How the blood spurted onto his snow white shirt from his school uniform. And those eyes. The eyes that always made you feel butterflies in your stomach, and then they seemed so unfamiliar. You thought about how later after the situation at the arena, he tried to approach you, and you took a step back with your eyes wide open in horror.

Of course, he knew. You don't need to read minds to know that. And he was intelligent. He knew right away.

"I know, I know, Coryo. It's just…" you knew that if you continued your voice would break. Besides, you didn't know what to say. You snuggled into his neck hugging him more tightly at the waist. You don't want to hurt him with such thoughts, but they are so intrusive. You can't get them out of your head despite his reassurances, affectionate words and gentle touch. "I'm sorry, I should be there for you, and I'm making everything worse."

You whispered soaking the collar of his shirt with your tears.

His hand went to your hair gently stroking it.

"Stop, it's not your fault."

You stayed like that in each other's embrace, in silence. Words are not important now. What is important is that you are together and nothing will change that.

He will not hurt you. Yes, he won't hurt you.

[sophsicle]

Dial Drunk

He's drunk.

"James--"

Sober enough to know he's drunk. But drunk enough not to care.

"James please--"

Sober enough to hear the crack in Remus's voice. But drunk enough not to stop.

"I want to call him," he says, defiant. Childish. It feels good to say those words. He doesn't know why he didn't do this before. It seems so simple now. "I want to call him."

Sirius is across the room. A few seconds ago he'd been on James's other side, holding his arm, helping Remus pull him to his feet. He isn't touching James anymore.

"Where's my phone?" his words are a little thick. A little slurred. The world around him blurry in a way that makes his stomach squirm.

"I don't know," Remus mutters, struggling to support James all on his own. "Here, will you just sit down please? Sirius, maybe get him some water?"

"Sirius where's my fucking phone?" because he knows Sirius knows. Because he wants Sirius to look at him. Because he wants Sirius to feel this too.

Predictably, Sirius doesn't answer either of them. All James can see is his best friend's back, his vision splitting him in two. Sirius has always been good at blocking out the things he doesn't want to hear. Which might be the most unkind thing James has ever thought about him.

"James please sit down," Remus tries to guide him towards the nearest chair but he's not going. They found him on the floor, and he'd been happy to stay there. But now. Now he has a mission.

"I want to call him, get me my phone!"

"Christ James," Remus hisses under his breath, pleading. He wants James to stop. But the whiskey in his blood has other plans. "What's going on with you tonight? I mean, should we be--should we be worried? Were you trying to hurt yourself or--"

"Oh fuck off!"

He sees the surprise on Remus's face, thinks about apologizing, but his thoughts are watery and hard to hold.

"I want to call him," he repeats instead. It's the one thing keeping him standing.

"Yeah we heard you," Sirius says finally, his voice is thin, cold. It's enough to get James's attention, even in his current state. "But you can't call him."

Something pointy and sharp pricksJames's chest but he shakes his head, ignoring it. "I know the number by heart," his drunken mind supplies helpfully.

"James," his name sounds so sad in Remus's voice.

"I'm sure you do," he thinks Sirius laughs. It's not a pleasant noise.

"Just give--give me my phone? He'll pick up. He always picks up when it's me. I want to call him. Let me c-call. I want--"

"You. Can't."

Sirius finally turns back around, he is so still and so stiff and James is so wobbly. He stumbles even though he's standing still, Remus fumbling to keep him upright.

"He'll pick up Sirius, he will. If it's me--"

"No."

"--he always--always--I need him. I need to tell him. I need to ta-talk. Please? Please I need--"

"You know why you can't call him."

"Sirius," Remus says warningly, but James doesn't think either of them are paying him any attention.

"I--don't have my phone." That makes Sirius frown harder but James doesn't care right now. "Just give me a phone. Any phone. I know his number. I--"

"You know why you can't call," Sirius repeats.

The pricking in his chest is getting worse. A stab. A slice. A tear. The sensation burns right through the alcohol. It demands to be felt. Demands to be heard.

"No," James repeats. "No I--no. No. no."

"He's--"

"Sirius!"

"--dead. He died."

"No!" James's voice is a terror. "I--no. I just need to call. Just let me have--the--cause I--and he'll pick up--he always--for me," he can't get them out, the words, the thoughts, his breath. He's choking on his own memories. His own grief. Shaking so bad he's surprised Remus is able to keep a hold of him.

"Regulus is dead. You can't call him. He won't pick up," Sirius sounds cold and distant. But then, he's always been like that about Regulus. James is on the ground again. The world in front of him blurry as Remus wraps his arms around him.

"You're a sloppy drunk James," is the last thing Sirius says before James hears the door closing.

The pain is deep and all consuming. It's been months. It's been years. It never stops. It never gets better. The minute the world gets still or quiet the grief is there. He feels like he spends every second of his life trying to outrun it. He's so tired. So fucking tired.

"I need to t-talk to him," he sobs, as Remus holds him tighter. "I can't never talk to him again. I can't. I have so much to say. I have so much--what am I supposed to do with this? What am I supposed to do with all this? I need to call him. Please. Please. I need him. I can't sleep. I can't eat. They're taking up all the space in me Remus. All these fucking--these fucking words. I need to call him. I need to. I need to. I can't bear this. I don't understand how I'm supposed to bear this?"

Remus kisses the top of his head. "Just breathe okay?" James doesn't think he's imagining the tremor in Remus's voice. "I just need you to breathe okay?"

But he can't.

He hasn't.

Not in months.

Not in years.

I'd die for you, he'd told Regulus once. And oh god did he mean it.

[smollbean42905]

hi, could you write a fluff fic about carl x deaf!reader ? i think it would be cute if she could teach him sign and he could learn through books enough to tell her his feelings. maybe she was at alexandria when he got there and kinda kept to herself because no one could communicate with her but he was determined to.

i love carl and twd but i rarely see any deaf/hoh fics as a deaf person. thank you and have a good day ❤️

Here ya go lovey! I hope you like it!

I tried to make sure that the information on cochlear implants(since they're mentioned) is correct, I hope I got it right..

Sign

Isolation and Silence were your friends. Hiding was a friend, a cowardly friend, but one non the less. You were born deaf, when you were five your loving parents got you a cochlear implant. You could hear for the first time ever, at the young age of 5. The cochlear implant never left your head unless it was charging, using a USB cord.

But all of the safety the implant brought you was put on hold as the world ended. There was no way for you to charge your implant, so fear set in. Your parents changed as well once the world ended, your father became more strict and less loving. Your mother became more quiet and reserved. You felt more alone then ever once your implant died.

Anger went through your veins as you heard the beeping that meant that the implant has died. The last thing you heard was that cursed beeping. Sadness creeped in after that once the world went silent. You were so used to sound after 6 years of it, being only 11 at the time of the apocalypse. The next year your mom took the easy way out, your father became angry. He never tried to communicate with you, even though you both knew sign language. You were a bit rusty but was remembering it slowly. Two years later, your father allowed himself to be eaten by walkers. At the age of 14, you were alone, alone in a world were sound was critical to survive. A world where you had to look over your shoulder and starve and stay awake for days on end to make sure you were safe.

That was until Aaron found you one day, you were asleep in the back of your family car and allowed yourself to sleep. Aaron gently spoke to you trying to wake you up, but you didn't stir. He reached out with some hesitation and placed his hand on your shoulder, at the mere touch of his hand you sprang up with horror on your face. You tried to speak, to show you were a normal surviver, but the words came out in slurs, you couldn't hear yourself speak. The welcoming vibrations in your ears as you spoke was gone, there was nothing.

Aaron looked shocked and was trying to talk to you, you read his thin lips and he seemed to say, are you drunk?. You grew confused by the question and started to sign on instinct, his eyes widened. He didn't know sign language, he's never interacted with someone who was deaf before in his life. He got a bit closer to you so you can read his lips,

Are you alone?

You nod your head after a moment, he seems to frown and speaks to you again

Would you like to go somewhere safe?

You nod again, anywhere but the outside was safe. Aaron smiles slightly at your nod and he holds his hand out to you, you slowly take it with some hesitation and he gently tugs you out of the car. He looks around as you gather your things. A blanket you've had since you were a baby, and some books you've held onto. Books about ASL, or American Sign Language, everything fit in your bag. You were out of food or water so you didn't have much, Aaron leads you away from your home and you both walks in silence. One more willing than the other, and after a days walk you get to Alexandria.

You look up to see a large guarded area with people stationed on both sides of the large gate, each holding a good sized gun and staring down at her. Aaron must of said something making the gate open. He ushers her in and leads her to Denise, the leader of the close knit group, and she looks at you and begins to speak. Aaron seems to of cut her off, and tells her of your condition. Denise looks a bit saddened by the news, no one here knows sign language so communication will be very difficult.

"We'll station her up in an empty house for now"

"Why? She can stay with me for now"

"No one knows sign language Aaron, talking with her will be difficult."

"She reads lips, that's how I got her here"

"She is to go to an empty house for now." Denise had the final word, as usual, and Aaron is forced to comply. He brings you to an empty house and goes in front of you so you can read his lips

This is your home for now, I have to go back out

You nod as he tells her everything, finding it of no use to sign to him. He walks away after a moment leaving you alone. You let out a sign as you're isolated once again.

As the days go by, your actions don't change, Aaron never comes back to see you as he's to busy with his job so you stay alone. You go outside and sit by the lake, you're favorite area, with your feet in the water. You close your eyes as you can feel the vibrations of other walking nearby and the gently moving of the water that's around your feet. This is your daily routine, some kids try to come up to you and speak but you never reply, obviously, so they give up after a moment and walks off to never try again. Ron tried it, Enid tried, as well as every single teen in the small sanctuary. They all try to be friends with you but since you don't reply and seem to ignore them, they all think you're rude.

That was until Carl Grimes and his group enter the area. Aaron brings them back and he sees you by the lake, so he addresses the group.

"That kid over there" he points to you

"I haven't got their name but they're deaf, not rude." He knows of the kids finding you rude or entitled so he makes sure everyone knows of your condition. Carl's gaze lingers on you as your open your eyes and looks at the water. You can feel someone's gaze on you and look around seeing Carl looking at you. His face is blank but his eyes are narrowed slightly, as if he's trying to figure you out. His eyes go to their normal size as you make eye contact. Rick makes Carl follow the group, leaving you to your own devises once more.

As the days went on and Carl got to knows some of the teens, each said the same thing about you, that you're rude and entitled and speak to no one. Carl tries to tell them that you're deaf, but non believe him. So he decides, for some reason, to go up to you. You're at your usual place, with your eyes closed and bare feet in the water. You looked so peaceful that Carl feels a bit bad when he sits next to you and gently pokes your arm making you jump. His face stays blank as you look at him quickly, no one has touched her or gotten her attention in any way besides speaking so this was new. He starts to speak slowly, so you can read his lips

Hi, I'm Carl

You have a bit and sign your name, the letters being almost drawn in the air seem to amaze him slightly. He's never seen someone sign before. The use of your hands catch his attention as he watches the language.

Can you teach me?

He asks you, you nod after a moment of shock and adjust yourself to face him more. You sign a simple hello, the simple wave of your hand, he copies. You mouth the word "hello" he copies you and does the sign again. You begin to sign the alphabet, your hands amazing him as you sign the 26 letters effortlessly. He copies you slowly as you do it again, you mouth the letter that corresponds with the hand movement. You sign his name slowly,

C

A

R

L

He watches you and copies you again.

You both didn't realize that you gained some attention, Rick and Michonne watch you two.

"He's never done this.." Rick whispers softly. He had to deal with a teen angsty Carl for the last few years so seeing him willingly socialize with someone was shocking.

You sign your name slowly and he whispers the letters to himself softly then repeats your name to himself once he understands it. He says it again a bit louder making you smile, seeing him say your name was nice. No one has said your name in about a year, so it was refreshing to see. You continue teaching him sign language, finally gaining a friend after so long.

[feltit-wroteit]

The Prodigy Son

Art Donaldson x Fem!reader

Something about all the stress Art had been under all of his early teenage years and right now made him vulnerable. He had always been, the only difference is that he had you now.

Warnings: angst to fluff, hurt/comfort, sad! Art, panic attack, talk of death

Nothing ever made you more worried than the text you had just received from your boyfriend.

Paint :) -> I need you. I'm in the lockers, please hurry...

You took your school bag off the floor quickly and hurried to meet him. Art had never texted you like this. Without a nickname or even a silly exclamation point that showed you he was always happy. Not in this one though. There was an absence of both. When you reached the men's locker room, it was silent. You dared a glance in and saw that the place was void of any other men. "Art? Baby?" You called out to locale your boyfriend.

Sobs. There was only sobs to be heard.

You walked to the sound and saw your boyfriend on a bench in his underwear. His head was held up by his arms propped up on his knees. His entire body shook and his breathing was uneven; dangerously so. You got closer to him and made your presence known by getting on your knees in front of his eyes. "Baby. Breath. Come on, breath for me." He then looked at you for the first time. But his breathing hadn't changed. He was sobbing like it was never going to end. In all honesty, you were started to get scared. "Art, please follow my breathing pattern." You took a deep breath in, telling him to do the same, and followed by breathing out. You repeated the process six times until his breathing had evened out. That is when he said his first words to you: "Can you hold me. Please, Y/n/n?" You didn't hesistate to take him in your arms and wait for him to come back to reality totaly.

It took about ten minutes for your boyfriend to calm down completely and stop sobbing. Your soothing movements on his back had stopped and you pulled away to see his face better. His soft features were marked by tear streaks and you frowned at that. What had made him so upset? It wasn't his first panic attack. You knew that because he had shared that with you during one of your late night talks. But you had never been there during one. He had not had one since you two got together seven months ago.

You helped him get dressed by handing him his Stanford shorts and polo shirt. He kissed your lips quickly a few times and let a few more tears out. Art was a mess and you didn't know why... "Art?" You asked while he was pulling back from a kiss after having put the final item of clothing on his body. "Yeah?" You took his hand and made him sit with you on the bench. "I think we should talk about this. Right? I'm sorry if it's too forward, but it's worrying me and-" he cut you by putting his hand on yours that was on the bench between your two bodies. "I want to talk about it. If you want to ear it, of course?" You nodded silently and held his hand while he started explaining.

"I love tennis. I really, really do. But sometimes I'm wondering if I have what it takes." He admitted while looking down at his lap. You rubbed his thumb reassuringly. "Of course you do, baby. I'm no expert, but Tashi told me so. Your coach seems to think so too... What happened that made you think that?" You tried to meet his gaze but he just went deeper into his head. "Hey. Stay with me..." You took the side of his face in your palm and lightly brushed it with your thumb. "My father called..." He said and tears came again. "What did he say?" You wanted to know what had put him in this state. "My grandma's dead, baby. She died last night of a stroke." He burst out in tears againa nd you went forward and held him.

You knew how close Art had been to his grandma. She was her biggest supporter, she had always been. "I shouldn't have waited to go pro. She never got to see me pro, Y/n/n." He blurted out through sobs. You held him closer than ever and sighed. "I know baby, but she'll see you from up there." You whispered. "I think and know she was proud of you right now, Art. No matter where you go after this, she would've been your biggest fan. That I am sure of. Don't put pressure on yourself over her. From the little I do know of your beautiful grandma, I know she would be sad about it." He pulled back a little and looked at you intently. "You think?" He asks more unsure than you had ever heard him. You nod your head and wiped his tears away. "When's the funeral?" "In two days." He answered and a comfortable silence fell over you two while you held for the third time in the pas hour.

A little while after, Art got up after kissing you and took his bags with him. He led you two to the exit of the lockers and you walked him to his dorm. "Y/n?" You turned your face to look at him while holding his hand. "Would you come with me? To the funeral, I mean." He waited for an answer and you smiled at him softly. "Of course, whatever you want, Art." He lifted your entertwined hands and kissed your knuckles. "Thank you for being there for me. I love you." You smiled even brighter. "I'll be here for you no matter what, baby. I love you more." You said to him as you guys continued your way to his dorm. You had spent the night at his place and you watched his comfort film while cuddling up and organizing your trip to his hometown.

At the funeral, everybody was happy that Art had found a girl as loving and supporting as you. When he walked to the open casket, you held his hand and comforted him to his needs. No one had ever done such a beautiful and meaningful thing for him. For him, you were it. You were the person he wanted to be fierce and also vulnerable with.

It was not even a full year later that he asked for your hand.

[wosoamazing]

Arguments

Summary: You and Leah get into a fight. Based on this request & thank you to the anon for giving me an idea about the fight.

Warnings: None?

A/N: I'm really sorry but the Barça x teen!reader fic, where Rs Dad died before the game might not be the next fic to come out, I will try and finish it however I am just really stuck on ideas for it, if you have any feel free to let me know.

You walk out into the living room, where the rest of the team is. It is team bonding night, which you were invited to even though you’re not part of the team anymore, as you're currently in London visiting Leah and your family, because you can’t play due to your ankle. However you weren’t going to team bonding night as it was one of your friend’s 18th birthday and as much as you missed the team you hadn’t spent time with your friends in ages, and it would be the first 18th you could attend, so of course you didn't pass up to opportunity to party with your friends. When you walked out into the room all eyes were on you, they all seemed honestly impressed, Katie even gave you a grin and a smirk, however your sister’s face showed her clear disapproval for your very not modest outfit. You had a loose black sequin v-neck halter top on, with a pair of denim shorts that were almost too small to be appropriate, and your hair was in a very slicked back high ponytail, with a pink feather scrunchie finishing it off.

“You can’t wear that.” Your sister scowled.

“Oh what, so you only care about how I look, how I’ll damage your reputation.” you sassed her back.

“What's that supposed to mean?” She asked in defence.

“Oh, stop pretending you don’t know what I mean. It’s not like you care about anything else I do…..so why do you care what I wear?”

“I can’t believe you’re giving me attitude right now,” you scoffed at her “honestly, I’m glad you’re at Barça now, at least now I don’t have to deal with you and your attitude.”

“See I knew you didn’t care that I was leaving, you weren’t sad, you were happy.”

“I just hope you don’t treat Alexia like this.” she said, almost waving you off.

“Sorry that we can’t all be as perfect as you, Leah ‘Captain of England’ Williamson. I’m honestly glad I’m at Barça too, it means I don’t have to deal with your judgement daily. And anyway, everyone knows you’re just jealous. Sorry but I can’t help it that I’m better than you.”

“That’s a fucking low blow.” She said as you started walking towards the front door, “Where do you think you’re going in that?”

“To the party, remember. The world doesn’t revolve around you like you think it does.” You snapped back at her before slamming the door behind you.

____

You were waiting out the front, Leah said she would pick you up at 12:00 and with the fight you had you did not want ehr to be there before you were, to reduce the chances of you getting yelled at.

“Y/N/N,” you heard a familiar voice call out, it wasn’t Leah though, it was Beth. You walked over to her car.

“Where’s Leah?”

“Oh, she asked us to pick you up, you can stay the night if you want.”

“Fucking perfect sister my arse, yes please”

____

You woke up to an elaborate breakfast spread on the table, but Beth and Viv weren’t in sight. Walking further out into the main room, you saw a very familiar figure sitting on the couch, it was your sister.

“What are you doing here? Where are Beth and Viv?”

“They’ve gone on a walk. Can we talk?”

“About what, oh let me guess, what I wore last night was inappropriate, my behaviour was inappropriate, I shouldn’t act like that. Blah, blah, blah. I get it whatever.”

“Y/N, sit, we need to talk, I need to talk to you, I need to say something to you” you rolled your eyes at her as you begrudgingly moved to the couch and sat down.

“I’m sorry about last night. It would be a lie if I said I wasn’t slightly jealous of you being at Barça, or of Alexia for getting to spend everyday with you. I miss you and I’m sorry, and I was wrong, but that doesn’t mean you should’ve acted how you did, you shouldn’t have snapped.”

“Yeah, okay, whatever” you said with a slight huff, hoping to push her off.

“What?” She replied to you clearly frustrated as she leant back into the couch crossing her arms.

“No one has thought to consider how I actually feel about it, I constantly get asked something surrounding whether I’m having fun at Barça, not how I am finding it, whether I’m coping or not. No one has stopped to think that maybe this is more pressure than I needed, no one has bothered to check that the pressure isn't getting to me. Everyone now expects me to be some sort of goal machine, they expect me to be on a level most experienced players aren’t, they expect me to be some sort of God.” You took deep shaky breath, feeling your lower eyelids droop from the weight of your building tears, before you continued “You haven’t, my own sister hasn’t even, thought about whether I’m coping mentally let alone asking me. You know not once has any single one of you checked in on how I am going with my eating, something you all single handley promised me, Sam has though. And yeah sure I’m having fun but you know how much pressure there is? To improve. To show the world, to show you, to show the national team, to show Arsenal that this was the right choice, to show Barça I was worth the money. I feel like I need to score to get your validity, I constantly feel like I have to show you I am a good player, show you it’s not just because I’m your little sister, and can be moulded into the next generation you. I have yet to show you, to make you believe I am a good player, I deserve it, I deserve it all and I don’t have your name, your name isn’t what is getting me through, its my name, our name, our family name. I constantly am trying to get your approval, I constantly try to not disappoint you but no matter what I do it doesnt work. It just makes you more ashamed of me, and makes you more disappointed with me.” At this point tears were streaming down your face, Leah moved over to sit next to you, pulling you into her lap for a hug. 

“I’m so sorry bug, I know I haven't been the best sister, I am really really sorry.” She said as a few tears escaped her eyes.

[suiana]

collab with my lovely pookie @yxami 😘😘😘

✎ yandere! reincarnator headcanons . . .

✎ warnings . . .

― obsessiveness , possessiveness, crazy Yan or smth idk etc.

(gn! reader x gn yandere! oc)

✎ yandere! reincarnator who's been pining after you ever since they first laid their eyes on you. they could just tell that you were meant to be together!

✎ yandere! reincarnator who's been toxic ever since their first life. their first life as a handsome guy... you thought it would have been fine to be with them but it turns out he's a little off in the head. oh well, it's fine, once his life ends you'll be back to walking this earth alone as usual once more, right?

✎ yandere! reincarnator who died in their first life while trying to get you to stay with them. no-! don't leave them! wait no, you're about to get hit! and he pushes you out of the way, blind to the fact that you wouldn't have died even if the truck hit you.

✎ yandere! reincarnator who didn't want to die, desperately wanting to stay with you as they makes a wish that gets granted by someone above, turning them into a reincarnator.

✎ yandere! reincarnator who had initially cursed the gods. no! they didn't want to be a reincarnator! they just wanted to extend their life a little longer so they could be with you till you both died! but then he saw you, the same as ever even after twenty years had passed. wait, did you not age..? were you... immortal?

✎ yandere! reincarnator who's astounded when you reveal that you're actually an immortal. oh..? so you'd be there for them in every life! ah! they just knew it! you two were just meant to be!

✎ yandere! reincarnator who pursues you in all of their lives. it doesn't matter because they'll find you. they'll find you and make you theirs. again and again and again. and you go along with it each and every time because you were bored.

✎ yandere! reincarnator who reincarnated into a female body in their latest life. oh... this body is so pretty... they'll have fun chasing after you in this new body ♡

✎ "y/n... I'm back~"

"my love... you'll never escape me."

they coo, dress fluttering in the wind as they stand in the middle of a field of flowers. they looked ethereal, almost angelic if it weren't for the blood staining their dress.

you sighed, shaking your head as you stared at the reincarnator. seriously, even after so many lives, after so many years, they were the same as ever. crazily obsessed and not right in the head.

you had tried to change them and their obsessive ways on multiple occasions, help them out a bit. after all, you had nothing better to do than spend time with them. your family was long dead and you were practically alone. though the help you offered obviously didn't work.

coming back in many different forms, they pursued your love in a more crazed way each time. they gradually got worse, mental health at a rapid decay with each reincarnation.

just a few lives back they wouldn't have considered murder yet they're doing it now so lifelessly? you were disappointed. but you supposed that it would make sense. they have lived multiple lives after all. and living multiple lives without any break... it really does take a toll on one's mental health. not to mention they were already crazy in their first life.

yet you couldn't help but stay with them in every life. they always found you after all. you had tried hiding away from them, yet as if some god was laughing at you, they'd manage to find you. it was like you two were actually meant to be.

so you gave in, allowing them to love you in their weird obsessive way. even at the cost of other people and their lives. you had tried to stop them, not wanting others to die just because of their obsessiveness but they never listened. it was a little sad but what could you do?

they just simply did not want to listen. and it seems like they were favoured by the gods for they were always born in a wealthy and privileged family. a family that would always cover up all their crimes...

you sighed, looking at the reincarnator wearing a floral sundress that was stained in red.

"just... come here already. let's go back."

they smiled, kicking away the body of a tall male they murdered after they caught him staring at you. you muttered a small prayer and stared at the dead body for another second before having the reincarnator hang off your arm.

"let's go~"