#“so he’s a hair ball. has a tiny waist. and sounds like weird al. …what an odd character” - my sister 2024

[skateironicallycantskate]

my sister made this joke. blame her

[chicgeekgirl89]

The Honeymooners: Chapter 3

Read Chapters 1 and 2 Here

They woke up in the morning still curled up in one another in the tiny bed. “I think we conquered that challenge,” Deeks said, pressing a kiss to her neck. 

“You know, I noticed that shower is also really small,” Kensi told him coyly as she slipped out of bed. “Just in case you’re looking for another challenge!”

It didn’t take long before he joined her, lips pressing against her shoulder as his hands circled her waist. Kensi squeaked as he nipped at her earlobe and found herself hoping the motel walls weren’t too thin. She was really starting to regret the choice to spend their honeymoon in a smelly tent. Were they really going to make it two weeks without 

When they were both sufficiently showered they went in search of breakfast, settling on the closest Starbucks. Kensi took a bite of her yogurt and then realized Deeks wasn’t eating. “You good?” she asked.

He frowned a little. “Yeah, my stomach’s kind of queasy.”

“I hope you’re not getting sick,” she said in alarm.

“I’m sure it’s just from drinking last night and all the traveling.”

“Aw,” Kensi reached for his hand. “Can’t hold your liquor anymore? Don’t tell the guys.”

“Hey at least I’m not a lightweight like Eric.”

After breakfast they went for a stroll through downtown Jacksonville. It was hot and humid and within minutes Kensi’s shirt was stuck to her skin. “Jacksonville is definitely not the pride of Florida,” Kensi said, wrinkling her nose as they passed a couple of overflowing garbage cans.

Deeks didn’t respond and when she looked his face was contorted in pain. “Deeks are you all right?”

“My stomach,” he said, stopping and bending over a bit. He blanched and clapped a hand over his mouth, then threw himself at the nearest garbage can where he promptly vomited.

“Oh my god!” Kensi put a hand on his back. “Are you all right?”

Deeks lifted his head and sucked in a breath. “Yeah I’m…” He gagged, leaning over to threw up again. “I guess maybe Al’s Crab Shack wasn’t such a great idea after all.”

“Yeah you think? Next time listen to your wife. Come on. Let’s head back to the hotel.”

It took forever to get back because Deeks had to stop and wretch every few feet. By the time Kensi got him in bed he was sweaty and pale. She positioned the garbage can next to him and then put a hand on his forehead. “I think you’ve got a fever. It’s probably food poisoning.”

“You’re telling me.” Deeks curled up into the fetal position as his stomach cramped. 

“Well I guess better here than in Lima.” She stroked his forehead tenderly. 

He sat up so fast he nearly knocked her to the floor. “I have to go to the bathroom!” he rasped.

“Use the garbage can.”

“Not that kind of emergency,” he said with a grimace as he stumbled into the tiny bathroom and closed the door.

Kensi stood outside and winced in sympathy. It was clearly going to be a long day.

Deeks came out and collapsed onto the bed, immediately falling asleep. Kensi pulled out her tablet and sent a couple quick messages off to Nell and Eric checking in.

When Deeks woke up half an hour later he vomited into the garbage can and then had to be almost immediately helped to the bathroom again. “Ah the joys of marriage,” Kensi mumbled to herself as she stood outside the door and waited for him.

It was hours and hours of tortured bodily function. In addition to his fever Deeks was lethargic and clearly in pain as his stomach cramped and twisted. When he was awake he was curled up on the bed and looked absolutely miserable, and when he was asleep he tossed and turned, twisting the cheap hotel sheets in a balled up mess.

Kensi was starting to get worried about dehydration so when he fell asleep around 5:00 she slipped out to the gift shop and bought the world’s most expensive bottle of Gatorade for him to sip. Her stomach rumbled so grabbed a couple packages of crackers too. She wasn’t trusting unpackaged food again in this state.

She stepped back outside and was halfway back to the room when she remembered she’d also wanted to grab a package of tissues. She doubled back, stopping short when she realized there was someone coming down the walkway in the opposite direction. “Yeah tomorrow,” he muttered into his cellphone. “Does Carl have the car ready? We’re gonna hit it hard and heavy and get out fast. They won’t even know what hit ‘em. “

Kensi stepped around the corner and waited in the shadows until he passed. “Don’t call me again. Just bring the car.”

He put his key in the lock and went into room B-31. Kensi frowned. That had almost sounded like plans for a hold up of some kind. She shook her head. Deeks would laugh at her and tell her she was too suspicious after all the problems they’d had on their last couple of trips. She shouldn’t be borrowing anymore trouble than was waiting for her back in their room. 

Deeks was in utter misery when she got back. He was too hot, then too cold. His stomach stabbed at him repeatedly and his chest ached from all the throwing up. Being awake was torture and being asleep was blessed relief until he was woken again by the need to empty his stomach one way or another. 

Kensi found herself ironically grateful for separate beds as Deeks’ exorcist routine persisted late into the evening. Every attempt to get him to eat or drink something it only ended in disaster and she began to wonder if she should get him to the ER. When she posed the question to him he staunchly refused and then immediately threw up into the garbage can. 

At 10:00am the next morning he woke feeling somewhat less like death. His mouth tasted sour and his body still hurt, but he wasn’t in quite as much agony as the previous twenty-four hours. He pushed himself up into a half seated position and looked at his sleeping wife on the other side of the room. So much for a honeymoon. 

He pulled himself out of bed and showered but another, slightly less terrible, bout of stomach cramps put him on the toilet again soon after. Kensi was awake when he finally exited the bathroom. “How are you?” she asked, her hair a mess, eyes bleary.

“I feel like I birthed a forty pound baby,” he said with a groan, sitting down heavily. “But a little better.”

“You had me worried. You should probably try some more Gatorade. Or water or something.”

He nodded and took a cautious sip from the bottle on the nightstand. “We’re never eating seafood again.”

“I didn’t eat seafood to begin with.”

“You’re really going to make fun of your poor, sick husband who nearly died on your honeymoon?”

“Um yes. Absolutely. I’ve already informed the entire team, they’re coming up with snarky things to say as we speak.”

“I knew I should have written a clause about that into the pre-nup.”

“You’d better be glad we don’t have a pre-nup because I definitely would have put a vomit clause in there and then you’d be on your own.”

There was a bang from outside and Kensi went immediately to the window, peeking through the curtains. “Everything all right?” Deeks asked.

“Must have been a car.”

She seemed jumpy. “Hey, something on your mind? You still thinking about going home?” he asked.

“No, I just…it’s probably nothing.”

“Uh oh. Come on. Talk to me. What happened while I was out? You decide to run away with Manny?”

She rolled her eyes. “No. When I was out getting supplies last night I heard this guy on the phone and it was weird.”

“Weird how?”

“I mean, if I was being suspicious, I would say he was planning to rob the casino.”

“If you were being suspicious?” he teased.

“Like I said, I’m sure it’s nothing. Go ahead and say it. One disastrous vacation too many has made me paranoid. I see bad guys everywhere.”

“Or…”

She raised her eyebrows. “Or what?”

“I mean we’ve been partners for a hot second now. Your instincts are usually pretty good.”

“Oh.” She raised her eyebrows. “No snarky comment?”

“No snarky comment.” He winced as he drew a deep breath and his ribs twinged. “All snark exited somewhere around 3:30am when you were cleaning up my puke for the eighty-fifth time.”

“Aw, look how good we are at being married!”

“So good!”

She instinctively leaned in to kiss him and then they both thought better of it. “Yeah maybe not yet,” she said.

“I should brush my teeth first.”

“Good idea.”

They got up and dressed and Deeks watched ruefully as Kensi ate a protein bar for breakfast. “You sure you don’t want some?” she asked.

“Probably better not to risk it,” he said, holding up his bottle of Gatorade. “Liquid diet for now.”

“I’m sure the guinea pigs will be pleased to hear that.”

[5hfanfiction]

Falling Over - Chapter 32

“How’ve you been taking care of my little girl so far? No trouble too bad yet I’m assuming?” He asks and Lauren sees Camila flush behind him but judging by his voice he isn’t implying anything. “Sinu has updated me after every call that I haven’t been there for and I know things are getting tough so let me know if you need anything at all okay? And call me Ale okay? I feel weird going by sir,” he chuckles and Lauren forces a laugh back still nervous.

“Yes, yes of course Ale right, and I don’t think we need anything really, I’m doing my best to keep her safe and things are inevitably getting more serious but it’s nothing we can’t handle,” she promises and he smiles at her, Camila nodding to her over his shoulder and aiming her eyes towards the stairs.

“Papa I’m going to bring Lauren to unpack okay? We’ll be down in a few?” Camila explains turning around and grabbing Lauren’s hand easily and with an “of course” from Alejandro she pulls Lauren towards the stairs and up to her room, the older girl carrying both of their duffle bags because Camila claimed she tore a muscle and couldn’t lift.

It’s been almost week since the ruined date and almost a week since the two finally made things official between them. Things have been good for them as a couple. Meaning they’ve had zero disagreements and a million cuddles. Things with Dorothy on the other hand have been shaky to say the least. The nightmares hadn’t occurred the night after her mirror incident, but that was because she had barely slept. Camila had been so restless that her mind didn’t settle down enough to go through the nightmare.

However it had been more than one night and since then the nightmares have increased to a point that both girls are living on a few hours of sleep a night. Lauren hated it. Not because she was tired but because seeing the bags under Camila’s eyes made her feel extremely guilty despite her inability to do anything.

“So you’ve been in here once before I think?” Camila asks as she pushes her bedroom door open and holds it for Lauren before shutting it so they have some privacy. “Luckily the bed is a queen now and not a twin, I had one for most of high school and as much as I love cuddling with you, I prefer cuddling on a bigger space,” Camila explains and Lauren blushes slightly as she drops her duffel bag onto the ground by the bed and sits down.

“Good, we need room to cuddle with how we’ve been sleeping lately,” Lauren comments, eyes scanning over the room before falling back to meet Camila’s tired face. She still looks beautiful, more beautiful than anyone Lauren’s seen before and the fact that she’s hers makes Lauren giddy. “C’mere,” she instructs, sitting on the edge of the bed and reaching a hand out to summon Camila over to her like she does often when they get a chance to cuddle.

Camila smiles as big as she can and makes her way over to Lauren who guides Camila to straddle her lap and hug onto her as tight as her arms can. There’s nothing sexual about it, lately they’d found themselves in this position more often than before. Camila had reblogged something about it on her tumblr, about being held and secure and just hugged in this position and Lauren wants Camila to feel as safe as she can possibly make her, so as soon as Lauren noticed the reblog she initiated the position. It was also a good way to be as comfortable as possible even when not sleeping. Camila was tiny so Lauren didn’t have to struggle to hold her and she was warm and she smelled really good all the time so this position wasn’t bad for Lauren either. She was the one who was supposed to be protecting Camila but with the girl in her arms Lauren felt just as protected as she knew Camila did. Everything about Camila’s presence was intoxicating in the best of ways.

“How are you holding up right now Camz?” Lauren mumbles into her girlfriend’s hair after a few moments of silence in which they just hold each other passes. They’re content in the feel of each other and small moments like this that aren’t forced are a treasure in any relationship, but especially in one that relies so much on comfort and trust in one another.

They don’t talk while they sit and that may be one of the most refreshing things. It just proves that not only do they not have to talk to feel secure with each other, but also that they can be with each other and still feel as comfortable as they do when they’re alone. Both girls had always been more introverted than not. Probably because of how much they’d had to go through together with their ghosts and pasts but also because of other random factors that have added up.

The point is that both Lauren and Camila had never thought they’d find somebody that they love enough to replace their alone time with them. It wasn’t that they were against finding somebody but there isn’t anything wrong with enjoying your own company and both girls did. They had always preferred to be reading or sleeping or writing or anything alone really, but now that there is an option to be with each other they don’t have to think twice before choosing that. The two have a good time together no matter what, from cuddling like this, to watching netflix and joking around, to making out, to getting food and marathoning Grey’s, they can spend unmeasurable amounts of time together without getting bored of the other, and if they get bored of the topic they move on.

“Hmm,” Camila hums into Lauren’s neck after a moment of silence between them and moves so her legs are wrapped more tightly around Lauren’s waist. “I’m ehh,” she mumbles and Lauren smiles because Camila is so adorable but then stops because she remembers that she’s asking the girl if she’s okay based on her lack of sleep.

“You wanna try to nap or anything? We have about…” Lauren trails looking across the room for Camila’s alarm clock, “two hours before your other family and the girls get here so maybe we can put on some netflix and cuddle?” she suggests and Camila is still burrowed into her like a puppy but she knows the other girl is listening, “I’m sure your parents will understand that you need some more rest, okay?”

Camila thinks about it for a minute, kind of wanting to spend time catching up with her parents but knowing she has the rest of the week for that and that Lauren is right and rest is needed. Plus even if she wasn’t tired, who was Camila to turn down cuddling with Lauren Jauregui and watching Netflix? Especially since Lauren was whipped and would let her pick the show.

“Yeah that sounds good,” Camila replies after her thoughts are clear and then pulls away from Lauren slightly so she can lock eyes with the raven haired beauty. “I’ll go tell my mom, you set up the shows okay?” Camila says and reluctantly stands from her girlfriend’s lap turning to grab the remote to hand to Lauren, knowing Lauren knows what show Camila wants.

“You want any food while I’m down there?” she asks once she reaches the door, turning to face Lauren who’s in the middle of stripping her jeans because who the fuck cuddles in jeans? “Damn it maybe I should just let my mom wonder where I am,” Camila continues as she lets her eyes rake over Lauren’s legs shamelessly and shoots the girl a wink playfully.

“Ha ha. Very funny Camz,” Lauren dead pans as she throws her jeans at Camila who catches the in one hand with a smug smirk. “I’m good on food, maybe a drink though?”

“Okay babe, I’ll be right back then.”

They spend the next few hours curled up together watching Friends of course, hot cocoa mugs drained after three refills from an overly friendly Sinu. Camila knew that Sinu was just continuously coming back in to make sure Lauren wasn’t defiling her daughter, especially after the teasing her mother had done when she told her that her and Lauren were planning to stay in bed until company came over.

They don’t sleep for obvious reasons but just lying together with Netflix on was enough to get both of the girls a little more rested than they had been after the awful nightmare Camila had had the night prior. So by the time they hear the commotion downstairs and know that their peace is ending, they’re happy they’ve managed to do this before eating Thanksgiving dinner.

“There my two favorite Cuban girls are!” Dinah shouts barging into the room and smiling brightly at the two girls that hadn’t yet had a chance to get out of each other’s embrace. “Oh god we’re walking in on something Mani fall back!”

“Dinah chill out, you’re not,” Camila groans out as she rolls to face the girls who had burst into her room unannounced, happy that they hadn’t walked in on anything like they would’ve had they come ten minutes ago. She’s about to scold Dinah more but is pleasantly surprised to see a familiar face behind the tall girl and squeals as she shoots out of bed and launches herself to hug the new member. “Ally!” she screams and the small girl is grinning back as she envelopes her in her arms.

Lauren recognizes the name immediately and smiles as she watches the interaction, knowing that Camila had missed her other old friend since she reconnected with Normani and Dinah.

Camila had told her already so she was unsure of what to expect, but so far Ally definitely fit the physical description of short and adorable. Of course Camila’s description was probably about from when they were like eleven but it still works because Ally looks like a little ball of sunshine.

Camila had been asked last minute if Ally could come down for Thanksgiving with her family since Normani and Dinah had already decided that’s what they’re doing and Ally was hoping to just follow their lead. Camila had taken a total of zero seconds to respond an enthusiastic definitely and continued to vent about how excited she was to catch up with Ally in person since the constant texting they had been doing clearly wasn’t working. Lauren thought it was adorable that Camila was so enthusiastic about her friendships and loved that her girl was getting to spend time with people she cared about, especially after missing them for years of her life.

After a few moments of squealing from both smaller girls and laughing from the others, Camila pulls back with a huge grin and turns to face Lauren who had been patiently waiting with a cute smile covering her perfect face.

“Lo, this is Ally, you know that by now though I’m assuming,” Camila says as she gestures to Ally and Lauren switches her eyes and sits up to offer the girl a wave (still not wearing pants so Lauren decides to stay under the covers until she has to move). “And Ally, this is my girlfriend Lauren, the ghosty one I talk about,” Camila finishes with a bright smile on her face at being able to introduce Lauren that way. Lauren mirrors the smile at Camila once she greets Ally whose face brightened in shock but satisfaction at hearing that they’re dating.

“Wait hold up - girlfriend?” Dinah finally breaks the two smiling girls gaze with her words and Lauren can’t help but let out a laugh at Dinah’s tone, “well damn I know my ship didn’t set sail without their captain knowing.”