#“reading and chess” ok sure bud

[mattymartin]

↳ MAT BARZAL ON HOW HE KEPT HIMSELF OCCUPIED WHILE INJURED | 12.15.24

[onmykneesforhotdilfs]

Tilt

Bloom smiled as a butler offered her a crystal glass filled with, what she assumed was, very expensive champagne. She nodded gratefully as she took a sip, and then promptly had to physically stop herself from spitting it right back out. Either the champagne wasn’t as good as she expected or officials of Isis simply decided to serve something from the supermarket, while hoping that no one would notice. Then again, Bloom mused, it might just be that my taste buds are so used to the $10 wine so everything fancier just tastes like crap.

She shook her head and crossed her arms underneath the bustier of her skintone, off the shoulder gown with baby blue flowers scattered across the top and sporadically across the skirt as well. The nude color made her appear more tan than she actually was and while the dress was indeed very beautiful, it was just as uncomfortable. Bloom winced as shifting weight from one stiletto clad foot to another sent white hot signal of pain when one of the wires supporting her bustier stabbed her in the ribs. She bit the inside of her cheek to in order to stop herself from simply burning the fabric.

A cheerful laugh of her best friend snapped her out of her trance. Stella emerged from the mass of bodies on the dancefloor, her asymmetrical off shoulder gown highlighting every curve on her body perfectly. Long purple sleeve blended with yellow in a way Bloom didn’t even deem possible considering how different two colors are. Her other arm, that was completely sleeveless, sported some golden jewelry and floor length gown swept the floor elegantly with Stella’s every step. She was holding the same glass, filled with same champagne as Bloom, with her well manicured fingers. As soon as Stella was within arm’s reach, she grabbed Bloom’s elbow and leaned close to her, smile completely disappeared from her face.

“This stuff is absolutely disgusting.” Stella spoke through gritted teeth.

“Oh really?” Bloom asked as smirk slowly rose on her lips. “And here I thought you preferred this,” she lifted a fancy glass into the air, “over my cheap wine.”

“Anything is better than this, for the lack of a better word, crap.” Stella scoffed. “This would’ve never happened on Solaria.” She tilted the glass once again to take a sip in hope it somehow started tasting better but ended up disappointed. Bloom almost laughed at Stella’s expression. “But then again, should I have expected anything more from a planet Diaspro came from?”

Bloom almost winced at the mention of a woman that had the ability to mess up her relationship with Sky like no other. The latest stunt she pulled, thanks to Valtor, only made Bloom more angry at everybody that turned a blind eye to her actions simply because she is a princess. It was only then that the thought occurred to her, that Diaspro might be here and that she might ruin their mission. She glanced nervously around the hall, panicking more the longer she couldn’t find her.

Stella, recognizing Bloom’s ‘two breaths away from having a panic attack' look on her face, was quick to put a calming hand on her shoulder. Bloom recoiled slightly but Stella gripped the flesh lightly in order to ground her. She leaned closer to whisper in Bloom’s ear. “Relax, she’s not here. Apparently her parents don’t allow her to go to events where his highness, prince Sky of Eraklyon, might be present.”

Sarcasm was obvious in Stella’s voice but it served the purpose of calming Bloom to the point where she actually start thinking lucidly again.

Bloom took a deep breath as her shoulders slouched slightly forward. “Thank you.” She whispered to Stella. Then, the actual sentences Stella was saying caught up to her and her eyebrows touched her hairline in obvious amusement. “Still angry at Sky I see?”

Stella snorted and wrinkled her nose at the mention of Sky’s name. “If you were smarter, you’d be angry too.”

“Hey!” Bloom yelped angrily but settled down quickly as she looked away. “I am angry at him.”

“Apparently not enough.” Stella gripped the glass so hard her knuckles turned white. “I mean, what’s up with him suddenly becoming a poster boy and actually listening to what his daddy says?”

“Well, technically, Sky’s meeting with Diaspro or her parents might cause interplanetary scandal between Eraklyon and Isis.” Bloom spoke in Techna's voice.

Stella’s lip twitched. “Still, interplanetary scandal or a potential threat of one never actually stopped him from going against orders before. So my question still remains.”

“Any sign of Valtor?” Bloom asked, hoping to divert the route of conversation.

“I just spoke to Techna. He hasn’t been detected and Amplificarum is still safely locked in the vault.”

“He’ll show up eventually.” Bloom nodded absentmindedly. “He always does.”

“See this, this right here,” Stella pointed to the marble floor and Bloom lowered her gaze to the direction her finger was indicating but furrowed her brows when she found nothing. “This is why Sky should be here.” Bloom’s lips shaped into a thin line whe she realized what she was talking about as Stella continued to rant. “Isn’t he concerned that Valtor might attack and something might happen to you?”

Bloom gasped. “I’m not some… damsel in distress that needs saving Stella!” She scoffed. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.

“C’mon Bloom, don’t give me that.”

“Well what do you want me to say Stell? That I’m angry? Disappointed? Fine. I’m disappointed that Sky chose to follow the order from his father when I wanted him to come with me. He most certainly could've found another solution but he did nothing. Instead he left me to face, potentially Diaspro and Valtor alone. There! Was that enough? Are you happy now?” Bloom’s cheeks were red by the time she finished her rant as her chest continued rising up and down in order to return much needed oxygen into her lungs, her exhaustion more due to stress than the actual rant.

Stella smiled and patted Bloom on the shoulder. “There you go. Now was that so hard to say?”

“What?”

“Nevermind that, anyway, be sure to tell him that next time, ok?”

Bloom rolled her eyes but a smile threatened to spread on her face. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Mhm, that’s why you love me so much.” Stella spoke with an obvious pride evident in her voice.

“Yeah, let’s just say you’re lucky I do.” Bloom shook her head and grabbed Stella’s elbow as she spotted a familiar short brown hair emerging from the crowd. “There’s Brandon.” She turned to Stella and pointed to where she saw him. “Go bother him for a while.”

Stella pouted and stuck her tongue out playfully at Bloom but strutted off towards her boyfriend, leaving Bloom alone.

With Stella gone, all of Bloom’s physical discomfort came rushing back and hitting her like a rogue train. Her feet ached, her head started hurting from the tight updo and she was pretty sure the wire that poked her in the ribs has punctured her skin. She felt the tender area with her opposite hand as much as she dared and exhaled short puff of air when she found nothing. She wanted to sit down or maybe even lay down and then not move for a few days.

She shook her head and took a sip of her disgusting drink in order to wake herself up. She looked around the dancefloor, automatically finding Stella and Brandon as they swayed to the rhythm. Techna and Timmy were huddled in the corner probably discussing something about technology. Musa and Riven were also in the corner, be it on the opposite side from Techna, which greatly surprised Bloom because Musa was more often than not first on the dancefloor alongside Layla (though club suited them more, but the two always found a way to fit in anywhere), but right now dancefloor seemed like the last place Musa wanted to be. Instead, fairy of music was busy glaring daggers at her boyfriend that seemed to pay little to no attention to them.

Bloom rolled her eyes at the two of them (not that her and Sky were any better) and focused on finding Layla that also, surprisingly, decided to go solo on this mission. She found her talking to some Isis official that she probably knew due to her status. With Layla’s position in mind, bloom turned to finding the last couple but Flora and Helia were nowhere to be found so Bloom assumed they were probably taking a stroll in the garden.

With those in mind, Bloom once again diverted her eyes from the dancefloor and looked at the champagne bubbling in her glass as her thoughts ran over the information she remembered about Amplificarum.

Apparently, the green stone, by physical appearance almost indistinguishable from emerald, had the power to magnify any spells or beams aimed at something. Or someone, Bloom thought. It was most commonly used for protection spells and it generally wasn’t meant for offensive spellwork. Bloom somehow had doubts Valtor will use it for protection spells. The sheer thought of chaos that could potentially happen if such artifact ever fell into Valtor’s, or anyone’s wrong hands, made Bloom shudder all over and grip her champagne glass bit tighter. That can never be allowed to happen. It’s why you’re here. There’s no way he will be able to slip in and out undetected with eleven pairs of eyes looking for him.

Bloom couldn’t deny that Valtor is the most powerful, and quite frankly the most cunning, villain they ever had the pleasure of meeting. What irked her to the point of madness, however, was the fact that Valtor always seemed to be one step ahead of them.

The battles are like chess game. Daphne’s voice sounded in her head. In order to defeat your opponent you have to figure out their strategy. You have to master the art of reading their moves and find a way to turn the odds in your favor.

It was not hard to guess who played certain roles in this game though. She was an amateur, an amateur that was loosing valuable chess pieces battle after battle whereas Valtor was a professional that suffered minor losses here and there but still had the most prized figurines in the game. It didn’t take a professional chess player to see that the odds were most definitely not in Bloom’s favor.

He’ll slip sooner or later. Bloom thought with a smile. Even Valtor can make a mistake. And it takes only a second, a slip of concentration, a lapse in judgment and the board will tilt in our direction. Even an amateur can get lucky and stometimes, the pawn can be the most powerful piece capable of settling the final score, so don’t sell yourself short.

Bloom was so distracted by her mental pep talk that she failed to notice one of the guests approach.

“This stuff they’re serving us,” Bloom jumped as a deep melodic voice rang out next to her. “it’s not something I expected from Isis royal court.”

The stranger came to stand almost arm to arm with her, but she also noticed she was almost two heads shorter than him.

“In a good, or a bad way?” Bloom asked with a frown. The stranger has short brown hair styled to a perfection, not even a hair out of place. From what she could see from the side without being too obvious, she noticed he had perfectly straight nose and an overall boyish appearance.

The stranger lifted one of his eyebrows curiously. “Have you tried that?” He pointed to her glass.

“Yes.”

“And how does it taste?”

“Like a hair conditioner.”

He nodded approvingly. “Interesting comparison. Not inaccurate though. Well Miss, I think you just answered your own question.”

Despite all odds, Bloom found herself smiling at stranger’s antics and clever quips. “I am sorry but I don’t think I got your name.”

“That’s because I didn’t give it to you.”

Okay, rude.

“Well,” she forced out, “would you be so kind to give me your name then?” Bloom really hoped her smile was more convincing than her words.

“There’s no need, Bloom. You already know my name.” Bloom’s smile vanished as the man finally turned to face her, the unique icy colored eyes she only saw on one particular individual looking straight into her wider-than-dinnerplates blue ones. She felt a bead of sweat roll down the thin column of her neck and disappear into her cleavage.

Bloom gulped.

Valtor smirked.

“You!” was the only thing that came out of her mouth.

He shook his head, his eyebrows set in a frown as he let out a disappointed huff. “That is not my name princess. You might wish to try again.”

“What are you doing here, Valtor?” Bloom managed through gritted teeth.

“Oh so you do remember.” Valtor smirked like the cat who got all the cream. “Good. Otherwise I would have to remind you and I really don’t want to spoil anyone’s evening.”

“As if you need me, or anyone, for that!” Bloom whisper-yelled as her eyes darted desperately across the room, trying to locate her team.

“Now now,” Valtor cooed, “it is not polite to look away from the person you’re having a conversation with, Bloom. Someone should’ve taught you proper manners.”

Bloom gasped as she felt the dragon fire raging in her chest, the effect much more intense than she’s ever experienced before. She swayed slightly on her feet and she raised her unoccupied arm to clutch lightly at her chest. The world was spinning in front of her eyes and just as she feared she might topple over, one of Valtor’s large hands grasped her bicep and the forest fire that burned in her turned into smoldering ashes.

Bloom leaned slightly on her side, Valtor’s arm acting like an anchor as she fought to regain her breath.

“What,” she rasped out, her voice hoarse like she just inhaled smoke, “was that?”

“Just a reminder that you should not antagonize me.” Valtor’s voice was cold and sharp and it made her swallow down a snarky response.

“Is that how you snuck past Techna and me?” The pain was gone but her legs still felt wobbly and she was forced to hold onto Valtor in order to remain standing. “A cloaking spell?”

“If the shoe fits…” he trailed off as Bloom stood up to her full height but despite the heels she wore, Valtor noted with a slight amusement, only managed to reach his shoulders. The glare princess of Domino sent him would make a lesser man run to his mom but it only made Valtor grin. Bloom ripped her arm from his grasp and he had to bite his lip to stifle a chuckle that threatened to escape as Bloom stumbled slightly when he willingly let her go.

Bloom mumbled something that even his heighten senses couldn’t pick up. “I apologize darling, I didn’t quite catch that. Would you mind repeating it?”

“I said that if you turn around and bend over, I’ll show you where my shoe fits.”

Valtor was in stupor for a minute, but then a surprised chuckle broke through his lips and his shoulders started shaking from the laughter he tried, and was slowly failing at, keeping contained. “Oh, and she bites.”

Valtor continued laughing sporadically, stopping for a few moments only to start up again. The lines around his eyes crinkled and Bloom found herself fascinated by how melodic and pleasant his laugh sounded. The thought only lasted for a few seconds before Bloom stomped on it with a part of her brain that was still capable of making rational thoughts. Get it together, Bloom.

“If you’re quite done,” Bloom spoke, her cheeks red from rather unorthodox behavior she exhibited few minutes ago, “how about you tell me what are you doing here, finally?”

“I think you know why I’m here.”

“Forget it, you’re not getting it!” She turned to face him fully, her eyes boring a hole into the side of his head.

Valtor lifted his eyebrows as if to say ‘Really?’, mockery clear in his eyes. “Are you going to stop me?”

Bloom nodded. “I am.”

Valtor shook his head, smile on his face, amused by her confident tone. She thinks she’s a match for me. Silly girl. He was just about to tell her as much when the music that played as more of a background noise, suddenly became louder, loud to the point it drowned out all the chatter in the room.

Bloom almost jumped out of her skin when the orchestra started playing, loudly. She flinched, however, when she once again felt Valtor’s huge hand on her body. This time his palm was not in a direct contact with her skin but the unusual placement of the said appendage caused her to panic. His hand landed on the small of her back and it was quite persistently pushing her forward, straight onto the dancefloor between other couples.

“What do you think you’re doing?” She hissed through clenched teeth, sparks flaring at her fingertips, beginnings of an offensive spell already forming on her vocal cords.

“We are dancing.” His calm voice only made her more angry and she started struggling against the force pushing her forward.

“I don’t want to dance. Let me go.”

He stopped just short of the line separating area designed for dancing and bowed down theatrically while offering his hand to her. “May I have this dance, Miss?”

Few people closest to them turned around at the sound of his voice and Bloom had to bite her tongue to resist the urge to claw his eyes out. “No, you can’t!” She huffed out quietly instead, her neck and cheeks turning red from anger. “I told you, I don’t want to dance and I most certainly do not want to dance with the likes of you!"

“You wound me princess, truly. I don’t bite… not unless you want me to, of course.”

Bloom’s nostrils flared and flames began to dance in her eyes. What insolence.

“Let’s make a deal, princess of Domino.” He interrupted her just as smoke was about to start coming out of her ears. “You let me have this dance, and I’ll tell you everything you wish to know and I promise to tell the truth.”

“Why should I trust you?” She raised her eyebrows but it was obvious she was interested.

“You shouldn’t.” He tilted his head to the side as smile stretched across his lips. “But that never stopped you before.”

Sea blue met the arctic ice. A spark erupted and the coldness of his gaze melted away. “I give you my word.” His hand was still hovering in the air, his palm opened in invitation as he tilted his head in the direction of the dancefloor.

Bloom weighed her options. For as far as she knew, this could be another one of Valtor’s tricks to gain the information from her instead of vice versa. But the burning questions only he had the answers to kept pressing on the part of her brain that was telling her how much of a madness this was. Bloom sighed. Her hand rose hesitantly and slowly took hold of Valtor’s.

“One dance. That’s all you get.”

“That’s all I’ll need.”

He gripped Bloom’s fingers bit tighter as he lead her into the classic pose with his unoccupied hand placed on her lower back, lower than socially accepted when dancing with someone you do not know, but still in the safe zone that didn’t ask for Bloom to knee him in the balls. His other hand loosened around her fingers and now gently supported her palm. Instead of placing her other arm on Valtor’s shoulder, Bloom gripped one side of her skirt so she could move freely and to minimize contact. He looked down , searching her face, but Bloom turned her head in the opposite direction.

Valtor was never the one to blatantly display his emotions but Bloom’s refusal to look him in the eyes was one thing that almost made him boil. He didn’t know why the daughter of those that defeated him had such effect on him and he didn’t like it. He hated not knowing what was running through her head, especially in the place where he was in an obvious disadvantage concerning numbers of the two opposing teams. During his careful observation, he counted eleven of them, and there was only one of him. Not like any of them actually pose any threat, he mused. The only one that is able to even remotely challenge me is the one I’m dancing with and from this proximity she can be easily taken care of. He studied her posture, how her eyes avoided his at all cost, how her back stood stiff like someone stuck a pole to her spine, how tightly she gripped her skirt as he moved with her elegantly. It was obvious she was not enjoying this. Well then, let’s make you even more uncomfortable.

Without warning, Valtor pulled Bloom closer to his body, upper body completely pressed against hers, one of his legs between both of hers as her head snapped up to look at his cheeky smile. Fire was blazing in her eyes but Valtor didn’t care. He thrived on her reactions. Bloom squeezed the hand that was holding hers in warning but Valtor only gripped the flesh of her hip in response. Devils were dancing in his eyes but to Bloom they looked alive for the first time. Gone was the icy look capable of making even the best trained soldier hesitate before rushing into the battle against him.

He’s genuinely amused by this. She thought. If only be wasn’t having fun at my expense, I might’ve let it slide. Valtor twirled her around other dancing couples, his graceful steps never flattering, and it occurred to Bloom for the first time that she actually didn’t step on his toes even once.

“How are you doing this?” She asked him as he swung her away from himself, only to bring her in again, her back to his front, both of his hands gripping her hips. In her peripheral vision, she saw him rise his eyebrow. “I’ve never been good at dancing.”

Valtor smirked. “Perhaps you’ve never had a good enough partner.”

Judging by the tone of his voice, he was mocking Sky openly so Bloom miscalculated and stepped with the heel of her foot onto his polished shoe. She heard him grunt as, what she assumed was a curse, left his mouth. She smiled. If you play with fire, you’re gonna get burned.

“What happened to my parents?” Her next question made him quirk an eyebrow and she saw his eyes widen for a second before he regained his bearings.

“What did Faragonda tell you?” He answered her questions with one of his own and that made her irrationally angry for some reason.

“I asked you first.” She bit her tongue before insults started spewing out of her mouth. She realized long ago that snarky comments only made him more angry so she wasn’t willing to risk her one chance. “Answer me.”

“Do you think you are in position to demand anything, heiress of the lost kingdom?” Anger was starting to creep up in his voice as he dipped her low and snapped her back up harsher than necessary.

Bloom gasped as she suddenly found herself in an almost horizontal position. “You promised.”

Valtor assumed their previous position, except this time he lowered his head so his breath would graze her neck when he spoke. He sighed and goosebumps rose on Bloom’s skin as his hot breath washed over her collarbones and sternum.

“The truth is, I do not know what happened to your parents. I was imprisoned before the final battle. As far as I’m aware, ancient witches were the last to see them.”

Bloom swallowed. “That’s not Faragonda’s version.”

Valtor laughed, though his laugh was somehow bitter. “And you, as a good fairy, believe everything that your headmistress says don’t you?”

“And who am I supposed to trust? You?”

“Have you ever wondered why,” he repositioned her hand slightly as he side stepped to avoid the couple that was directly on a collision course with them. The sudden movement made the lock of Bloom’s hair wiggle out of her bun. “your headmistress send bunch of barely legal girls to suicide missions against the powerful enemies such as myself?”

“Because she trusts us?”

“Because she has an underlying motive.” He continued when Bloom scoffed. “Think about it. Can you honestly tell me your headmistress provides you with all the available information before she sends you off into battles?”

His question made her think of all the times Faragonda withheld the valuable information because she deemed it necessary and she bit her lip as realization hit her. “That doesn’t make her evil.”

“I never said it made her evil.” Smirk once again climbed on her face. “She’s cunning alright, but not cunning enough to be considered evil.”

“What’s her underlying motive according to your expertise?”

He shrugged carelessly. “Everybody needs someone to do their dirty work.”

“Like you have Trix?” Bloom raised her eyebrows in question.

“Don’t remind me.” He groaned. “Those three are as incompetent as they get.”

They danced in surprisingly comfortable silence for a few seconds, Valtor’s capable hands leading them. “You never answered my question.” Bloom said.

“What question?”

“How are you doing this?” She tilted her head slightly to their intertwined hands.

The edge of Valtor’s lips turned upwards. “You know how I’m doing it.”

Bloom frowned in confusion. “No, I actually really don’t.”

“Yes you do.” She was about to open her mouth to protest and to ask him what the hell he’s playing at, but he was faster than her. “You just have to let yourself feel it.”

Bloom’s shoulders tensed as the feeling of her native fire burning spread across her whole body. Okay, this is new.

“Pretty impressive, don’t you think?”

Bloom locked eyes with Valtor as he bent slightly in the knees, his hands gripped her hips tightly and her hands automatically came to rest on his broad shoulders, as he lifted her up and then, with care she didn’t know he was capable of, lowered her back to the ground. There was something hypnotic about his eyes and Bloom found herself unable to look away as she fought to regain her breath once her feet touched the ground again.

Whatever moment they shared was interrupted by a horrendous sound of alarm blaring and all the lights going off at the same time as explosion sounded somewhere above them. Valtor smirked as Bloom recoiled from him as if he burned her. Her hands lit on fire as people started screaming around her and moving away from them.

Valtor could hear Bloom’s friends calling her name as they pushed through the crowd of panicked guests.

“This was your plan all along, wasn’t it!?” Anger was obvious in her eyes and Valtor found himself fascinated as the fiery glow from her hands reflected in her irises. What he would do to have her on his side.

He shook himself out of his stupor as he snapped his fingers, letting his disguise slip off. Short brown hair and boyish look was replaced by long strawberry blond hair and his face morphed back into high cheekbones and sharp jaw. “I would love to continue our conversation,” he raised his arm and shot blindly towards the ceiling, blowing a huge hole into it. “however, I believe that my time has run out.”

Distant flashes lit up and Winx finally emerged from the crowd, sparkly outfits and huge wings on point. Bloom was the only one that remained in her normal attire, her hands showing no sign of burning out anytime soon, as she kept shooting daggers at Valtor with her eyes.

“It’s a shame I wasn’t able to answer more of your questions, Bloom. But I don’t think this is our last meeting.” Valtor grinned, thirty two pearly white teeth on display. “Besides,” he drawled as Icy flew from the direction of the vault Amplificarum was locked in, green gem standing out against the pale skin of her hand. “you know where to find me.”

“Solar energy!” Stella’s arm shot up, spell hurtling straight towards Valtor, but he didn’t even bat an eyelash as his hand rose to absorb the spell.

“Stop in the name of the law!” Armed soldiers and specialists started breaking through, their weapons and swords drawn and ready for a fight.

Valtor’s laugh echoed in the room as he shot off towards the hole in the ceiling, his mouth reciting the spell Bloom was quite familiar with. “Have the taste of your own medicine, princess of Solaria.”

Bloom barely had time to put up a shield as Stella’s own amplified spell was hurled back to them, painting the whole room in white hot glow, forcing everyone to close their eyes so they don’t go blind.

When Bloom finally gathered enough strength to open her eyes, Valtor was nowhere to be seen and people, specialists, guards and her team were slowly climbing back on their feet. Remnants of Stella’s spell still lingered in the air, making the room uncomfortably bright and forcing Bloom to squint.

“He did it again.” Stella spoke next to her and Bloom nodded absentmindedly as Stella continued looking around. “He used a heightened version of my spell… it’s a miracle no one’s been hurt.”

Bloom shook her head. “I don’t think he meant to hurt anyone Stell. He obviously needed a distraction to get away.”

“He doesn’t want unnecessary pain and destruction… you told me that’s what he said to you on Andros.”

Bloom nodded. “I think he managed to fulfill his promise, for once.”

Bloom looked up where Valtor made his exit and couldn’t help but to think that the chessboard once again tilted in his favor.

[leechonspeeddial]

Midnight Shift: The Serpent at Burger King - A Seduction of Kevins Summary: The Devil comes disguised as everything you want, Alice Cullen comes with fondue fountains and Bugattis. wc: 1.7k Read on ao3

There was one simple lesson I learned from a young age and quickly internalized while living as a Cullen.

Never play chess with a psychic.

You think a mind reader is a problem? No, you just have to add on geographical distance and then you're back on an equal playing field; as long as you keep apart, you can use your best strategies and winning is still possible. A psychic though, there is no distance you can go to be hidden from their sight. Once they get their teeth in you, your odds at winning are – for a lack of a better word – shit. So, as I held Alice's gaze at our local Burger King, I reminded myself this one very important rule.

Never play chess with a psychic.

Too late.

If you did find yourself playing chess with a psychic, the best course of action would be to become irrational and flip the board. You might not win, but neither would they and you'd save yourself the effort. I took a deep breath and assessed the situation. There were currently five humans with ten pairs of working human eyes at the restaurant; flipping the board would be disastrous, either people would die or they'd bear witness to vampiric activity. So that's out of the question, next strat.

Though Alice had gotten used to reading around the blind spots caused by me, she hadn't totally mastered it yet. My best choice was to act without thinking and take over the conversation as much as possible. That, well, that I could manage no problem.

"Well, well, well. What do you have to say for yourself, Mr. Assistant Manager?" I addressed Gay Kevin, hoping to also neutralize Jasper. Mr. Emotional Roofie was another obstacle here, trying to goad my coworkers so that they emotionally overwhelm him was my best shot. "Showing up two hours late to your shift with no warning?"

Gay Kevin looked exhausted.

"Please, not in front of the customers," he sounded embarrassed. Not Kevin snorted and took the interruption as an opportunity to make Milkshake boy his drink and get away from Alice. Meanwhile, Straight Kevin hopped over the counter and directly headed towards the old fries – if we didn't do our duty to eat them, they would be thrown out.

I also took notice of the guy that came in with the Kevins; he was shorter than Gay Kevin but slightly taller than Straight Kevin, he had thick black hair, but more importantly, he carried a video camera with him. He observed us, brown eyes full of amusement, and I sincerely hoped he was a vlogger.

"They aren't customers," I chirped with a predatory smile.

"I am a one though," Milkshake boy frowned. I waved him off.

"You're Not Kevin adjacent. You don't count," Gay Kevin looked increasingly irritated despite Jasper's attempt at giving chill vibes. He crossed his arms.

"So, what's this? You decide to throw a party while I was gone?"

I was about to retort when Alice interrupted me. I glared.

"There IS a party involved, but not here and not right now. Alice Cullen, nice to meet you, I'm –"

"Resentment's sister," Alice scrunched up her nose but nodded.

"Yup! And I came here to personally invite you, other Kevin, and Not Kevin to Nessie's party"

"You said you were born on 9/11," Straight Kevin's said accusingly with a mouth full of fries.

"It's not a birthday party," Alice tried to clarify, only to be drowned out by Not Kevin.

"You were born on 9/11?" I turned to address him and realized he was making Milkshake boy a chocolate shake, ruining all the hard work I put into my performance. Today was definitely not my day.

"I mean, yeah, but not like 9/11 9/11. I'm only 16," Not Kevin nodded but then his eyes widened as a realization seemed to hit him.

"Oh fuck. I forgot that was 20 years ago…"

"I wasn't even born 20 years ago," Straight Kevin added and it seemed to act as a punch to Not Kevin's gut.

"God, you guys are babies. I remember my parents picking me up from kindergarten early and being glued to the news for the rest of the day," Gay Kevin's statement also appeared to have a negative effect on Not Kevin, making him look even more miserable. Camera man looked like there was no place he rather be. Alice, well, she looked endlessly irritated.

"I feel so old" Not Kevin whispered, shell-shocked.

"You are old. What are you, like 50?" Not Kevin glared at me.

"What's 9/11?"

I blinked. Everyone went quiet and stared at Milkshake boy, who looked very confused. No one spoke for a full beat.

"Jack's 19 and, uh, Canadian," Not Kevin shrugged helplessly and said as if that explained everything. He handed the kid his milkshake.

"Hey, I thought there weren't any Oreos –"

"ANYWAY," Alice said loudly and we all looked at her, "it's not a birthday party. It's more like a celebration of Nessie's first job. Our family would love to have all of you for dinner"

"She means that we'd love to have you at the event. Not that we want to eat you for dinner," Jasper added unnecessarily and made me want to face palm. So, I did.

"I wasn't worried about possible cannibalism when she said it, but now I am," Straight Kevin took a wary step away from Jasper. Alice rolled her eyes.

"There will be plenty of free food and you can take as many leftovers as you want with you," Straight Kevin seemed to seriously consider this.

"I'm in," Alice handed him a pink envelope and smiled. Fuck.

Improvise.

"Speaking of customers. We have one right now," I pointed at Camera man, "so we can't deal with you right now," I tried to push Alice out the store but she held her ground.

"I'm also not a customer," he shrugged, "I came for the rats"

Shit.

"Tài…don't do this" Gay Kevin pleaded.

"My hands are tied. I promised my audience," so he was some sort of vlogger. This was admittedly the only good thing that has happened today.

"See, he's not a customer. I can stay," I groaned at Alice's smug tone.

"Technically, you're both loitering. So, neither of you should stay"

"I agree with the Assistant Manager"

Alice and I stared down at each other while Camera man and Gay Kevin had a silent conversation with their eyes. For the next while, the only sounds that could be heard in the restaurant were Straight Kevin loudly chewing, Milkshake boy slurping, and Olivia Rodrigo's drivers license playing on the speakers.

Suddenly, Not Kevin snapped his fingers, drawing our attention to him.

"You know, it occurs to me that since both Kevins are finally here, I can take my break. Come on Jack, I'm taking you home," he quickly made his way around the counter and grabbed Milkshake boy. "I'll make sure to call if I'm somehow two hours late," I smirked at Alice as her eyes narrowed. I greatly encouraged any action that made her look like that.

Milkshake boy tilted his head and didn't let himself be dragged out of the joint. I had half a mind to help Not Kevin.

"But dad said to –"

"Your dad will be ok with this as long as you don't set the house on fire. Again" Milkshake boy frowned.

"It happened once. I said I was sorry"

"Yeah, yeah. Come on bud, time's ticking"

Finally, that seemed to get Milkshake boy moving and heading to the door.

"Don't forget your invite!" Alice called out.

"We're good," Not Kevin responded with a hand on the door and the other pulling the teen along.

"Did I mention there will be a fondue fountain?"

Not Kevin hesitated by the door and I could only feel horror as my stomach dropped. Not Kevin was weak for cheese and cheese related by-products.

"Chocolate or cheese?"

"Both," I held my breath. It wasn't fair, it wasn't fucking fair.

"Shame, I'm on a diet"

"You aren't –"

And they were both gone before Milkshake boy could finish calling out Not Kevin's blatant lie. I fist bumped the air and stuck my tongue out at Alice, fully intending to gloat over this minor victory.

That is, until I saw Alice smiling.

Fucking psychics.

"What's got you so smug," I snarked, hoping to get a hint of whatever vision she just had. She smirked and I could tell she could see right through me. So much for not playing chess with psychic.

"I had a sudden revelation that everything will be alright," her eyes twinkled with mischief and, not for the first time, I was very jealous of Edward. Why the fuck did he get the mind reading powers? Tactile thought projection was so stupid and useless the majority of the time.

"You're so fucking annoying"

"I prefer the term persistent," I'd prefer if she was set on fire. "Which reminds me, hey boys"

Camera man and Gay Kevin stopped doing whatever the hell they were doing and paid attention to Alice, who was holding up one her dumb little pink envelopes.

"What do you say, a chance to eat fancy rich people food and see some fancy rich people cars," Camera man turned to Gay Kevin.

"Babe"

"Is this like, appropriate. Professionally speaking," Gay Kevin scrunched up his nose trying to figure out the etiquette of this weird ass situation.

"I'm more than happy to take you guys on a spin in my brand-new Bugatti"

"Babe"

"Why does this feel like bribery?" Gay Kevin narrowed his eyes at Alice, he seemed incredibly suspicious.

"Because it is," I growled and attempted to set Alice on fire with my stare.

"And I fully admit it. I just want to throw a good party, and guest are a very important part," she stretched out her hand towards Camera man, "think about it, that's all I ask"

Camera man and Gay Kevin shared a look, and Camera man grabbed the envelope. Ugh.

"Wonderful! Remember to R.S.V.P., we'll leave you to it," she waved and grabbed Confederate hubby.

They walked away and I could hear Alice speak, her voice far too low for human ears, but just the right volume for me.

"There's been a change of plans, we're meeting up Esme"

I scowled. I knew it was bait, I knew Alice wanted me to hear her, and it was driving me insane. Why would they need to see Esme? Why would Alice want me to know this?

I fucking hated my life.

[helloitsbees]

since the theater was COMPLETELY empty i was able to take notes during the entirety of the goldfinch. here are my thots (spoilers included):

ok limited aspect ratio im into it

the narration is uh. not very good

oddly enough I’m getting twilight new moon vibes w/ the seasons changing through the window

“HE IS A MINOR CHILD” ACTUAL QUOTE

step one: adopt child

step two: offer child a stiff drink

no kid in this movie acts like a human

“MY MOM BLEW UP OVER THAT SHIT TOO” ACTUAL QUOTE

kids are literally shoving him in the halls after his mom literally died. this movie has all the subtlety of Reefer Madness

you give the kid pills but not therapy. okay

Only Smart People Play Chess And Also It’s A Metaphor For The Protagonist’s Current Situation

why are they letting him just wander the streets of new york after what happened to him???? hello???????

“you’re the boy whose mother was killed there” i’m sure that applies to a lot of kids who were there but ok

that looks like the world’s best grilled cheese

god im hungry

“sorry, i’ve forgotten things” y’know, how Real Kids talk

“you look like someone who listens to Beethoven” thats a cold accurate read honestly

WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP OFFERING DRUGS TO THIS CHILD

does this mini flashback happen on the same day or does he literally just wear the same clothes every single day

no wait Pippa’s wearing different clothes he’s wearing the same sweater every single day

he sounds like he’s reading lines in a middle school play

okay he looks a lot like ansel elgort when he does that half smile thing, a+ casting

WHO DO I HAVE TO BLOW TO GET A CUP OF COFFEE AROUND HERE

god why is the child acting so fucking BAD

“they’ve grown quite fond of you” Y’KNOW, HOW NINE YEAR OLD KIDS TALK

SARAH PAULSON

wait she’s terrible

please stop drugging the child

the house in Vegas looks like the model home from arrested development

oh so they’re the worst. got it

what the fuck is up with ansel’s diction/accent

okay im very happy with the Complete Disregard for the potential Pippa/Theo subplot. i can hear the heterosexual shock from here

fact check, you can’t buy two drinks at once for yourself in new york it’s against the law

the music is WAY too much for the scene where he sees nicole kidman again

wait so if he lives nearby then why hasn’t he visited them at all

oh god the sister’s gonna try to seduce him isn’t she

ok good she didn’t

nobody:

          absolutely no one:

          not a soul:

          finn wolfhard: HÄH!

cowboy hat guy looks like steve carell in foxcatcher

“THATS ME, PURE SCORPIO” and then his textbook title is literally scorpio SUBTLE

bastard and casey

“how will we know when they [the drugs] start working?” jump cut to the boys lying by a pool talking about how boris’s dad killed a guy

slfkfkfjadlgllglajaj the dad is such a SCUMBAG

“act normal” bud neither of you have been acting normal since this goddamn movie started

oh god the editing got so bad so suddenly

love that the taxi driver witnessed The Kiss and was just chill for the whole trip to the bus stop. #1 ally honestly

Theo: *gets orphaned*

          music: SO YOURE AN ORPHAN

OH NO HE DID SLEEP WITH THE SISTER

“oh, darling” YKNOW, HOW REAL PEOPLE TALK

wait they’re getting MARRIED

WHY

HES PRACTICALLY HER BROTHER

w h y is the american horror story guy so slimy it’s honestly like he’s from another movie

“ooohhhhh poor brave little bird” consider being chill for like a SECOND

please don’t tell me she’s cheating on him with boris i will Scream

ok she’s not. good

that particular j cut was very very dumb

oh so she’s the worst. got it

it’s really starting to drag rn

wait pippa’s back and she’s calling him “lovely”........oh no.........

she got him a paperback and he got her a first edition SIGKJDJSHXJ ICONIC

aw she’s wearing the signet ring

the lighting is horrific in the dinner scene but only on him and not on her and it’s BOTHERING me

& why are they WHISPERING it’s a RESTAURANT

“POTTER” boy i CRIED

he took conversational russian for him......this is a LOVE story...........

the voice break in “and you love her?” man.........

ok they literally recycled the dialogue

OH SHIT IT WAS HIM WITH THE PAINTING

this is confusing and idk if it’s meant to be

Grown Man Cries Alone With Civics Textbook

oh god the narration is back i forgot about it

“is just for show” *thor voice* is it?

THE FOREHEAD TOUCH

oh shit

well

that could’ve ended better

oh yay Boris is alive

AWWWW HES SAVING HIM

ansel has a dumb crying face

okay this feels like a tacked-on ending. i haven’t read the book but this feels really jarring and different from the whole tone so I’m suspecting it’s different. I could be wrong though

wait so if its his mom’s favorite painting then why’d she go off to look at The Anatomy Lesson again

also its weird that she didn’t take him straight to the goldfinch because everybody I’ve ever know with a favorite painting has always gone straight to it the second they step foot in the museum

ROGER DEAKINS??????

[obsidianarchives]

To All The Wizards: The Party

Dean kept his word. They spent the rest of the evening by the fire in the common room. Hermione was able to finish reading and responding to her letters. She wished Viktor good luck in his match against Madrid and thanked her mother for taking the time to send the package she had requested. They passed the majority of the evening in relative silence. He sat at the other end of the couch next to her feet, sketching. Crookshanks was curled in his lap, clearly still unhappy with Hermione. Meanwhile, she began knitting a new winter hat for Winky.

After they had finished their game of wizard’s chess, Ron had gone to bed and Harry came over from the other end of the common room and sank into the armchair close to the fire.

“He’s going to cost us the Cup,” he said in dismay.

“You’ll just have to work with him over the break. I’m sure he was just having an off day,” she said, not looking up from her work.

“It won’t do any good. His flying is fine when it’s just the two of us.”

“Yeah, I thought he had improved since I first started practicing with you lot. I wonder what has him so agitated.” Dean cast a sidelong glance at Hermione, which she ignored.

Harry groaned and rubbed his face in frustration. “I thought we had fixed him after the first match, too.”

Yes, Harry had tried to fix it by tricking Ron into thinking he had taken an illegal substance before the match. “If Ron is going to get any better he’s going to have to do it on his own,” she said curtly.

“Oh you’re one to talk!” Harry said with a laugh.

Choosing to not dignify that with a response, she resumed her knitting. Dean looked between the two of them but seemed to think it was best to say nothing. She instead decided to switch the subject. “Did you manage to ask Luna to Professor Slughorn’s party tomorrow?”

“Yes, she seems excited to be going as friends.” He sounded relieved.

“Good. I don’t know why you didn’t ask sooner. Always last minute.” He rolled his eyes, ignoring the dig.

“Anyway, I’m off to bed.” As he stood, he gave Dean a significant look before saying, “Don’t stay up too late.”

After he had left them, Dean snorted. “Subtle. Guess he wants to be sure I’m not taking advantage of his best friend.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at her. She wrinkled her nose in response. “Maybe Harry is getting jealous.”

She rolled her eyes at this. He had often teased her about having The Boy Who Lived within her grasp, but falling for Ron instead. “He doesn’t care what I do. He’s just in a mood. It was Ron who was always the overprotective one.”

“You really have never had any interest in Harry? It’s always been Ron? Harry is The Boy Who Lived, the Chosen One, even! Don’t most girls like him?”

She sighed, exasperated with the conversation already. “Most girls aren’t also his best friend. It was only ever Ron.”

They drifted into silence as Hermione put the finishing touches on Winky’s hat. Dean had abandoned his sketch, staring into the dying fire while he scratched behind Crookshanks ears, lost in thought. The dim light from the fire cast a warm glow on his dark skin. They seemed to be the only ones remaining in the common room. Glancing at the clock, Hermione saw it was nearing midnight. The time had passed so quickly. She began to gather her things.

“Is it true then, what everyone says, about him being the Chosen One?” Dean was still sitting next to her but his voice seemed far away. His gaze was transfixed on the crackling log.

She hesitated to answer. Part of her, for some inexplicable reason, wanted to tell him the truth. Maybe then, the invisible weight she had been carrying since the summer would finally lift from her chest. He turned away from the fire to look at her. His coffee colored eyes were serious, searching for the answer in her face.

No, she couldn’t tell him. As comfortable as she felt around him, none of this was real. They weren’t actually friends, much less a couple. And even if any of this was real, this secret was far too dangerous to ever speak of outside the her, Harry, and Ron.

“Even if he was, you know I wouldn’t tell you.”

He studied her for a moment longer before a look of acceptance came over him. He nodded and got up. Before she could stop herself, she reached out and grabbed him. Surprised, he looked down at her hand clasped around his wrist, then to her.

“I, uh — sorry,” she said, dropping his wrist. “I just wanted to say thanks for keeping your promise to sit by the fire with me. I know that sort of thing isn’t really in the contract — well anyway. I appreciate it.”

He laughed a dry laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. “Man, Granger. You sure like bringing up that contract.” He shook his head again, and chuckled to himself. Looking back to her he said, “Goodnight, Hermione. See you in the morning.”

Five minutes later, as she headed up to the girl’s dormitory, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she had upset him in their conversation.You’re just imagining things. You’re not really his girlfriend, he doesn’t care enough to be upset with you. She took a deep breath and pushed open the door to the dormitory, praying sleep would come quickly to put her mind at ease.

—

It was a disaster. Professor Slughorn’s party invitation had clearly specified “fetching dress.” She had owled her mother weeks ago, asking her to send her usual silver holiday dress to wear underneath her old periwinkle dress robes that she kept packed in her trunk. She should have opened the package sooner.

“What should I do, Crookshanks?”

Crookshanks turned to look at her lazily from her pillow on which he was currently snoozing. Today, he was less put out with her than he had been recently. This, she supposed, was because of the double helping of treats she had given him this morning.

On her bed laid a burgundy velvet dress. That Hermione could tell, it was very fashionable with its sweetheart neckline, fitted sleeves, and circle skirt. There was no doubt her mother had outdone herself, apparently excited with the opportunity to spoil her daughter. The dress was beautiful.

Her cape-sleeved periwinkle dress robes laid next to the dress. There was no way she could wear them in their current state together. It would look ridiculous. Perhaps, she could go without the dress robes. Dean surely wouldn’t care, being Muggle-born himself. But there would be very important wizards in attendance, would it be considered rude to show up in purely Muggle attire?

The door to the dormitory suddenly opened. Hermione turned to see Lavender walk in and flop down on her bed.

“How was Divination?” Hermione asked politely as she looked over the dress again, running her fingers over the velvety material.

Lavender gave a dreamy sigh. “It was wonderful. We worked on our cartomancy today. My card reading was so fascinating. First, Parvati revealed the Ace of Cups, which duh of course. Ron’s and my relationship is still very new, so the meaning was clear. I was a little worried when she flipped to reveal the Fool. Parvati insisted it was in reverse, but Trelawney’s cards are very faded. I’m sure it was upright...are you even listening?”

Hermione wasn’t. She didn’t want to hear about Divination and she certainly didn’t want to hear about the good fortune Parvati predicted for her friend’s budding relationship. She was still contemplating her best dress option.

“Ugh, OK I’ll bite. What is it? Are you having trouble picking out jewelry?” Lavender slid off her bed and walked across the room. “Yikes.”

“I know,” Hermione said sighing. She wasn’t the most fashionable of girls, but she knew this was a mess. “My mum sent a new dress for me to wear. She’s a Muggle and didn’t realize it would need to go with my dress robes.”

She shouldn’t be embarrassed. It wasn’t her mother’s fault that she was a Muggle and didn’t know about these things. Her palms began to sweat a little anyway. She was taking Dean Thomas, arguably one of the most handsome boys at Hogwarts, to a Christmas party, and she was going to look like she got dressed in the dark.

“Let’s not panic. Where’re your shoes?” Hermione pointed to what were once a modest pair of black pumps at the foot of her bed. They were now transfigured to a deep burgundy shade to compliment her dress. She explained to Lavender what she had done. “Well that’s it then! Just transfigure the dress robes.” She looked very proud at having come up with this solution.

“I can’t,” Hermione said. She held up the dress robe, letting her feel the chiffon-like material. “The more delicate or complex the material of an object, the more difficult it is to transfigure. Transfiguring these from a light blue to a deep burgundy is such a drastic change it might ruin them...“ she trailed off and began to think, if only I just had another set to practice on. But duplicating them might compromise the integrity of the fabric.

Lavender let out a sigh, as if she were quite bored. “Then don’t transfigure them into burgundy.”

Hermione mouth dropped slightly. That was it. “Lav! Thank you. Why hadn’t I thought of that?”

She shrugged and then eyed Hermione’s hair, which she had opted to wear out. Hermione had spent the previous evening deep conditioning it, not wanting to take any chance on it frizzing up before the event.

“Do you want to borrow my Sleekeazy’s?” Lavender asked, still eying her curls a little warily. Lavender didn’t need Sleekeazy’s. Her hair did have a kink to it, but hung in a looser pattern. Yet she still slicked her hair down with the stuff overnight from time to time.

Subconsciously, Hermione’s hand moved to her hair to try and smooth down the back. “Erm, no. No thanks, Lavender,” she said, suddenly feeling unsure of herself.

Lavender gave her a look that said clearly said “suit yourself” before heading to the door. “I better go. I told Parvati I’d only be a minute and I promised to meet her for dinner, for a girls night. Good luck tonight!”

Hermione tried to shake the thoughts about her hair. One problem at a time, she told herself, turning her attention away from where Lavender had been standing a moment ago to her dress robes.

—

Everything had come together quite nicely in the end. Transfiguring the dress robes into something complimentary to her dress was inspired. The now cream-colored robes hung delicately around her frame.

As for her hair, she opted to pull part of it back in a braid, letting the rest hang down rather than wearing her curls out completely like she had planned. Lavender probably would have preferred if she had broken down and brought out the Sleekeazy’s, but she felt more comfortable in her curls styled in what she hoped was a formal take of the basic half-up half-down style.

As she emerged from the girl’s dormitory she could see Dean waiting with his back to her. He was wearing what looked like a new set of dress robes. Upon approaching, she could see that the robes were made of an expensive black jacquard material. Hermione cleared her throat.

He turned around and gaped at her. “Hermione, you look...” He trailed off before finally muttering, “Wow.”

“Erm, thanks, I think.” She realized she was shaking and a little hot. Panicking, she looked for something else to say. She couldn’t sweat off the minimal makeup she had managed to put on. She had never mastered the process of applying the stuff, and no one in her dormitory knew how to apply Muggle makeup even if she had asked for help. She made a mental note to look into wizarding makeup options in future. Maybe they would offer better shade ranges.

“You look amazing. Really.” Dean said, seeming to come back to himself. Giving her a crooked grin he continued, “Should we wait for Harry?”

“No, I think he’s gone to meet Luna.”

He nodded in understanding and held his arm out, motioning to the portrait hole. “Shall we be off, then?”

Wordlessly she nodded, and without thinking about it, took his arm as they headed to Slughorn’s Christmas Party.

The castle was mostly quiet as they walked through it. Most students had retired early to prepare for tomorrow’s train journey back for the break. A few of the festive, candlelit suits of armor inclined their helmets in greeting as they passed. As they approached Professor Slughorn’s office, there was a dull din of noise that grew in volume and pitch. They stopped before entering.

“Hey, relax,” Dean said, grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze. He was looking kindly at her with those warm brown eyes.

With a faint horror she realized that her palms were, in fact, clammy. Why should she be nervous? It had been upon her insistence that he accompany her to this party. They were just going through the motions. Calm and steady. “Right, yeah. I’m good.”

She led the way into the office and slightly gasped. It was so lovely she couldn’t help but be impressed. The office had been decorated to appear as if they were in a festive party tent with drapings of gold, crimson, and emerald. The faint smell of cinnamon and clove hung in the air and a warm flickering glow filled the room. Hermione’s eyes trailed around the room over the dozens of heads looking for the source. Was it enchanted candles charmed to burn a specific color? Her eyes landed on an antiqued golden chandelier that was hanging in the center of the room. She wrinkled her nose.

“What is it?” Dean asked.

“Fairies,” she said with a tinge of disgust.

“In the chandelier?”

“Yes. Honestly, they may enjoy being on display, but caging them in glass orbs is inhumane.” Before she could finish her rant about how wizards were constantly taking advantage of the predispositions of other magical creatures, she spotted Harry and Luna.

“I’ll go see if I can find us something to drink. See you over there?” he asked. Hermione nodded.

She approached the duo and Hermione stifled a giggle. They were an interesting looking couple. Harry was wearing his bottle green dress robes that brought out his green eyes. They fit very nicely, maybe better than they had in their fourth year. She wondered if he had sent them to Mrs. Weasley for alterations. Next to him stood, Luna. Her robes were still in the style of Luna Lovegood but Hermione had to admit the way the silver spangled robes reflected the light was quite pretty.

“Hermione! You’ve come just in time. Luna was just telling me her interesting theory about the Minister of Magic,” Harry said, looking at her significantly. Then, taking in her appearance he said, “You look really nice.”

“Yes, your eyes have gone quite twinkly in this lighting,” Luna said in her usual lilting voice.

Not sure what to say in response to Luna as she often felt when talking to her, she thanked them both.

“Have you seen? There are a couple of Daily Prophet reporters here.”

“What? Did you speak with them?” Hermione asked, concerned.

“Yeah, but I don’t think the bloke was much interested in uncovering the deep secrets about ‘The Chosen One’.” She swatted at him. They glanced at Luna, who was busy inspecting one of the potted copper-leaved Niffler’s Fancies scattered throughout the tent. “Don’t worry. I don’t think he was much interested in being here at all.”

“You still need to be careful, Harry.”

At that moment Dean returned with two silver goblets full of mead. Hermione took hers gratefully. He shook Harry’s hand before turning to Luna.

“You look very festive!” Hermione could tell by the way the smile met his eyes that he wasn’t making fun of Luna. He actually liked her robes.

“Thank you, Dean!” Luna said with a bright smile. “This is a very nice party. They’ve scattered these plants everywhere. They are very lucky, you know,” she said, indicating the Niffler’s Fancy she had earlier been inspecting.

Hermione’s eyes trailed to Harry who was looking between her and Dean. She wondered if it was working. Did they look like a couple? She took a sip of her mead to appear unaffected. It was spiced, her favorite.

Dean was speaking with Luna about her knowledge on the plant when he trailed off. Something at the entryway had caught his attention. They all turned to look in that direction. Hermione saw Neville’s blond head first. She felt her stomach clench as her eyes landed on Ginny. She was wearing floor-length emerald robes that contrasted with her crimson hair in a way that was dazzling in the glowing light. A slight smile graced her freckled features as her bright blue eyes scanned the crowd.

Both Dean and Harry were staring at her, in awe. A latent thought of Fleur passed through Hermione’s mind. Of course, Ginny was no veela, but she certainly had Harry and Dean under her spell. Glancing at Luna, she felt relieved that she at least didn’t seem to be aware of what was happening. Frustrated with both boys’ rudeness to their dates, she nudged Dean. He looked at her in surprise, as if he had forgotten she was there at all. She looked at him severely, trying to communicate that he still had a date he was being incredibly rude to.

Taking the moment to excuse themselves, Hermione pulled Dean away from Harry. It would be bad if Dean realized Harry’s feelings for Ginny and vice versa.

“It’s rude to come to a party with a date and spend the night staring at someone else’s date!” Hermione said in a terse whisper.

He grimaced, looking chastised. “Sorry, Hermione. It’s just hard. I think I can handle being around her, but then she’ll hit me with these sneak attacks and I just...”  he trailed off and took a deep breath. “Don’t worry. I got it. It won’t happen again.”

His grinned at her, trying to look reassuring. She would let it go for now, it wasn’t like she was faring any better with Ron.

The night continued as they made their way around party. They passed an enchanted quartet of string instruments accompanying the witch who was singing what Hermione vaguely recognized as wizarding Christmas carols.

It wasn’t as difficult playing into their roles when they were wandering the party by themselves. Dean was the perfect gentleman. Every now and again, he would place his hand on her hip when they were standing next to each other. Whenever Ginny was looking across the tent in their direction, he would bring her hand up to kiss it as if she were the most lovely person in the room. He would give her a slight wink that she knew he meant as encouragement, but the whole thing made her want to roll her eyes.

She spent spare moments when she was alone, while Dean was off grabbing her another goblet of mead or glass of water, comparing herself with Ginny. She couldn’t help it, after the entrance she had made. It wasn’t just Harry and Dean, many eyes followed Ginny in admiration. Her silky sheet of red hair gleamed in the light and was easy to spot throughout the tent. Hermione moved her hand to her head to make sure the ends of her hair were still behaving and not frizzing up. How could anyone believe that someone would date her over someone like Ginny? How could this plan be working?

They spoke to various members of the Slug Club and Dean surreptitiously avoided the mistletoe planted throughout. Blaise Zabini had even nodded to them in passing at one point. Eventually, they were accosted by Cormac McLaggen. Visibly, he acted like his normal overly-charming self, but it quickly became clear he was only interested in hounding Dean for information on how he got chosen as an alternate for the Quidditch team and how he had managed to woo Hermione Granger. This was all spoken as if she wasn’t standing right there.

They had only just escaped when Professor Slughorn’s booming voice found them.

“Ms. Granger, my dear! I have someone I would like you to meet!”

Glancing at each other, they both shrugged and made their way over to where Professor Slughorn, a tall haggard looking man and — to Hermione’s dismay — Ginny and Neville stood.

“Ciaran, I present to you Hogwarts’ brightest student, Hermione Granger and her date—“

“Dean Thomas, sir,” Dean quipped.

“Yes, Dean Thomas,” Professor Slughorn continued, unfazed, “This is Ciaran Gates. He is the leading Muggle Correspondent and newest editor at the Daily Prophet. While not as hard-hitting of a subject as you might expect from one of my pupils, he is on the fast track to becoming editor-in-chief.”

A few how-do-you-dos followed. Dean shook Gates’ hand before placing it back around Hermione’s waist. Hermione tried to pay no mind to Ginny’s glances in their direction. When Hermione did try to make eye contact with her, her attention was firmly locked on Professor Slughorn. Sighing, she smiled at Neville who grinned back. He looked happy just to be included.

“I thought you two should hit it off, both of you having an interest in Muggle culture,” Professor Slughorn said encouragingly.

Ciaran Gates didn’t seem to be interested at all in talking to a teenage Hogwarts student, or to be there at all. Perhaps, he was here as a favor to Professor Slughorn. To any of this, Professor Slughorn seemed oblivious.

“So, Dean Thomas, you’re a Muggle-born I presume?” Professor Slughorn asked. Everyone’s attention turned to Dean, except for Ciaran Gates, who seemed to be searching for any excuse he could find to leave the conversation.

“Yes, sir. Well, so far as I know. My dad left when I was a baby, so it’s hard to say.”

“Ah yes. Gets more and more common all the time...” Hermione and Dean glanced at each other, incredulous at what he seemed to be insinuating. Professor Slughorn took no notice of this, shaking his head before continuing, “And how have you come to win the heart of the brightest witch Hogwarts has seen in the last decade?”

She winced at his compliment. It was alright when her friends joked about her being the “brightest witch” of whatever, but when people said this in earnest it made her uncomfortable, unsure how to respond.

Everyone was now looking at Dean. Neville was nodding, excited to hear the tale. However, Ginny looked at her with shrewd eyes, testing her. Everything she and Dean had discussed preparing for this moment flew from her mind. Calm and steady, she reminded herself. She looked away from Ginny and politely at Dean.

“Well, I suppose my charms and good looks wouldn’t sell it?” Dean said with a laugh. He seemed wholly nonplussed by Ginny’s presence when just an hour previously he hadn’t been able to hold himself together.

Professor Slughorn also laughed. “No m’boy, Hermione Granger is made of different stuff than most girls your age. Those paltry tricks won’t work on the likes of her. Tell me, Ms. Granger, have you met your intellectual equal, then?”

Hermione laughed nervously, feeling the pressure to respond graciously. “I’m not sure about all of that, Professor.” The questions were not only impertinent but nerve-wracking. Ginny seemed very interested in her answer. Dean was counting on her to lie effectively. “We both are the only Gryffindors in our year taking N.E.W.T.s level Arithmancy, so we began studying together. Most people don’t like my pacing when we study so I generally do it alone. He’s been up to the task, though. We just kind of continued from there,” she finished, lamely.

“Oh delightful! Young love can be so promising. Ms. Granger’s mind is uncanny. She’ll be the Minister of Magic one day if she continues on her path. You are very lucky, Mr. Thomas.” With that, Professor Slughorn threw back his goblet, draining the rest of its contents. “Come along Ciaran, I’m sure Mr. Potter is about here somewhere.”

Dean pulled her closer into him, beaming. She was relieved. She had done a good job, everyone was actually buying it.

“I didn’t realize Arithmancy required so much studying,” Ginny said, finally addressing them. Her eyes flashed. Neville seemed to be oblivious to the danger in her voice, but Hermione could see the slight tinge of red creeping up her neck.

If he had noticed this, Dean didn’t seem perturbed. Rubbing his hand along her side he said, “Yeah these N.E.W.T.s level courses are no joke. Who knows where I’d be without Hermione?”

The tension was cut abruptly by Mr. Filch, who barged loudly into the center of the room, dragging Malfoy behind him. The music stopped. Hermione’s eyes searched the room for Harry. He was standing with Professor Snape and Professor Slughorn as Mr. Filch and Malfoy approached. A feeling of unease over came her. She generally got that sort of feeling when one of the boys was about to do something reckless. She didn’t have time to worry about that, she reminded herself. Seeing their opportunity to escape, she muttered something to Neville, excusing themselves and pulling Dean away.

After Malfoy’s gatecrash, the party began to slowly dwindle. Hermione and Dean decided it was probably time for them to take their leave, as well. They both had to be up in the morning to finish packing and catch the train home for the holidays. They bid Luna goodnight, but didn’t find Harry with her. She now felt sure he was up to something.

“You want to walk back with us?” Dean asked Luna.

“No, I’m alright. I think I’ll wait here for Harry.”

On their way back, Dean inquired as to whether Hermione was hungry because she hadn’t eaten anything at the party. She tried to explain to Dean the importance of house-elf rights. The only food on offer at the party had been on silver platters carried by the Hogwarts house-elves. To her surprise, he listened and seemed to agree with her. Before she could press further and tell him about S.P.E.W., they made it back to the common room.

It was mostly empty, with a few pockets of students huddled around the fire.

“You did really well tonight, Granger,” Dean said in a low tone so that they wouldn’t be overheard.

“Are you sure?” she asked. She wanted to do well at this, not only for Dean, but for herself. If she was going to take the time to do something, she wanted to do it right.

“Absolutely. Did you see how Gin was looking at us?”

“Yes,” she said with a sudden groan. “I don’t know, Dean. Who is going to believe you are actually interested in me? I saw the way you were looking at her, tonight. I mean, Merlin, who didn’t notice her?”

“Are we really going to have this conversation?” he asked exasperatedly. “Do you honestly think you’re not pretty?”

“I’m not searching for compliments! I’m just saying it doesn’t seem believable to me, logically speaking, that you’ve gone from dating Ginny who’s popular, has beautiful hair, and likes sports, to me, who is none of those things.”

He rolled his eyes. “You really are something else. Look, Gin’s gorgeous. But you’ve got more confidence. You don’t put all this effort into it. I told you how amazing you looked tonight, and I meant it.”

She avoided his gaze, feeling her face heat up once again. She really wasn’t looking for his pity or compliments. It wasn’t embarrassment that was making her blush, though. It was the fact that he wasn’t saying it out of pity. He actually was being genuine. She still thought he was off his rocker, though.

“Can we get back to celebrating this victory now?”

She glanced up at him. His eyebrows were raised expectantly. “Alright, yeah.”

He held his hand up for a high-five. “Operation ‘Secret Lovers’ is in full swing!”

“Ew gross, no. We’re not calling it that.” She wrinkled her nose but slapped his hand and laughed anyway.

“Fair enough.”

Hermione was in good spirits as she walked up the stairs to the dormitory. Maybe her being in a relationship with Dean Thomas wasn’t so unbelievable.

To Be Continued…

[yasuo-the-unforgiven]

LOL what about an RP thing where umm Yasuo gets in some sort of bad bet for his soul with uncle-touchy-lich?? like a drinking game or something like chess or something - yasuo would win but might be spooked ! the idea made me laugh lol sorry i think you could do way better. PS you're super cool and it will be so cool if you get the ask-yasuo url and i hope you get more threads i love reading them- i'll go back to following you quietly now-

- On Anon or not, send “Plot:” + describe something you really want to RP with my muse or something you want to see my muse do (if it’s to/with another RPer, list their username) and I’ll rate it:

fuck no || not really interested || huh?? || give me more details… || sure why not || OMFG YES

// Ey you! Yes - YOU! How dare you send me a prompt when that’s exactly what I asked for? How dare you send me nice words at all??? YEA U BETTER GO BACK TO FOLLOWING ME QUIETLY—

Lmao ok serious talk. This is actually a very fun idea! I would just be concerned with the how this would exactly come to take place. But I do miss threads like this. I remember back when the Ionian - Noxian war was considered over I had Yasuo all over the place but now it’s difficult to go on about meeting some muses because he can’t leave Ionia and I only RP one verse. Still I would be up for some crazy plotting like that. I mean… he could just walk into a magical vortex without knowing it and teleport to the isles yeah? That wouldn’t go against canon :^).

Also thank you so much for the input on the URL aswell! I am almost sure I iwll get it and I am working quietly on the artwork renewal I mentioned aswell. Appreciate it bud, thank you this means a lot :’).

Also tagging @uncle-touchy-lich because of the mention.

[elizabethcariasa]

Day camp costs could qualify for child care tax credit

It's all about the angle for a budding photographer attending summer camp to hone her skills. (Photo courtesy Olds College via Flickr Creative Commons)

Hello, May. You are indeed a very merry month, what with your longer days, warmer weather, lovely flowers and the impending end of classes.

Yep, all you parents were smiling until you got to the end of that sentence, weren't you?

School is far, far more than a day care for our children. But the fact that teachers and other educators keep an eye on kids for much of the day is a very consequential consideration for working parents.

That's why as the summer break nears, parents who haven't yet signed their kids up for a variety of school's-out activities are scrambling to find day camps that still have open slots.

Good luck. Truly. The most popular science, acting, music, math, cheerleading, TV/film stunt skills, chess, culinary and Frisbee (really!) camps already are packed. Still, you might be able to find a few with openings.

Regardless of which day camp(s) your children attend or how you finagled their enrollment, hang on to the receipts. They could help you claim the child and dependent care tax credit on your 2018 taxes.

Qualifying campers: In order to claim this tax credit, your young camper must be 12 or younger. The Internal Revenue Service says specifically "younger than 13."

The agency also explains that if the child turned 13 during the tax year, he or she qualifies for the part of the year he or she was younger than 13. So if Jimmy is 12 years and 11 months when day camp begins and ends, those costs count toward the credit.

Your camper also must meet the IRS' child dependent requirements. There are five factors, but basically, the youngster must be related to you and live with you most of the time.

There are, however, exceptions in the cases of divorced or separated parents. If that's your family situation, read the credit's Form 2441 instructions carefully or discuss the claim with your tax pro.

Employed parents only: Parents also must meet a key condition.

Moms and dads can claim the credit only for care of their dependent child/children that was necessary so that they could go to or look for work.

If you're married, both parents must be employed or seeking a job. The only exception is when one spouse is either a full-time student or is physically or mentally incapable of self-care.

Other credit conditions: And since it's the tax code, there are a few other requirements to meet before you can claim the child and dependent care credit.

Your taxpayer filing status must be single, head of household, married filing jointly or qualifying widow or widower with a dependent child.

The missing status is married filing separately, which, in most cases, is not allowed in the claiming of the dependent-care credit.

Also, the payments you make for child care cannot to someone you can claim as your dependent on your return, or to your child who is younger than age 19. So that rules out claims when certain family members are looking after the kids while you're at work.

Finally, make sure you use a care giver who's on the up-and-up. The reason? When you claim the child and dependent care credit on your taxes via Form 2441, you must enter the any caregiver's name and taxpayer identification number.

Some shady operators who are trying avoid meeting child care regulations might not want to share that information. And more important than the tax break, this reticence is a warning that you don't want those folks looking after your youngsters.

Credit calculations: OK, your kiddos qualify. You and the spouse are working. The camp has accepted your youngsters.

I hope your son or daughter is going to math camp so they can help you figure your credit amount.

That's right. You can't simply claim all the costs associated with the day camp. You have to do some figuring.

The child and dependent care credit is limited to up to $3,000 for the care of one kid and $6,000 for two or more youngsters. Then once you hit those amounts, you must do some calculations since only a percentage of the camp's (or other care option) costs count.

The precise percentage claim ranges from 35 percent to 20 percent, depending on your income. The less you make, the larger your claim.

Folks making $15,000 or less can claim 35 percent of their eligible child care costs. Parents making more than $43,000 can claim only 20 percent of their costs.

Once the calculations are done, the maximum child and dependent care credit claim for looking after multiple kids is $2,100.

Here's the math:

$6,000 spent on care for three kids     x 35 percent = $2,100 child care tax credit claim

Not much, but dollar-for-dollar: I'm not a parent, but I know that $2,100 is not much payback for all the dollars spent on caring for your kids or paying someone to help with that task.

And if you've already paid for child care earlier this year to cover your child's hours after school until you get home from work, you might have already hit the credit expense limit.

But just in case, don't overlook the day camp costs.

And, oh yeah, note the repeated use of the adjective. Only the costs of day camps, not overnight camps a la Camp Granada (yes, I'm dating myself) or Moonrise Kingdom, count toward the tax credit.

But every little bit helps at tax time. And it's a credit, which is better than a deduction because a credit reduces your tax bill dollar-for-dollar.

Since it's nonrefundable credit, however, it won't get you any tax money back if you don't owe. But it can zero out your tax bill. I don't know of anyone who'd turn that down.

More May tax moves: Getting your kids into a day camp is not the only tax thing to think about this month. You can find more suggestions in the May Tax Moves listing over in the ol' blog's right column.

Just scroll down a bit and look for the red lettering under the countdown clock ticking off the remaining filing extension days and hours.

One of those possible tax moves, pegged to the upcoming Mother's Day celebration, deals with the help you give an aging parent. In these cases, note the full name of the care credit.

It's officially the child and dependent (my emphasis) care. You also can claim it if you pay for care of other IRS-qualified dependents so that you can work. This includes, for example, care for a spouse or a dependent of any age (like an elderly mom) who is incapacitated because of physical or mental limitations.

Give this credit and the other May Tax Moves a look. If they apply, use them. They could end up making your 2018 tax return filing next year a very merry time, too.

You also might find these items of interest:

Loss of exemptions could cost some taxpayers

Children offer tax break and tax fraud opportunities

Adoption tax credit 2018 inflation amounts changed by new tax law

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[sydnam]

OUAT 7x02 “A Pirate’s Life”

2 episodes in one night? Shocking.

Running commentary under the cut as always.

7x02 A Pirate’s Life

I know the “twist” going in, which is too bad.

Is using live steel with the teenager REALLY a good idea, Hook? REALLY? “You fight like your grandfather” which one? JMo looks tired. A magic message in a bottle is kind of cool.

So are we just gonna call the NuFTL Another Realm? AR? Has the fandom come up with a good name yet? Andrew West sounds a little bit like Josh Dallas. Oh hey, Chekov’s magic bottle I guess.

Rogers is even more on the nose than Weaver, I cannot believe I did not comment on that in the first episode. Henry made up his mother. Awkward.

Seriously the mustache twirling villainy of Victoria is over the top. Her AR hair is ridiculous and yet also great though. Hook, bud, maybe murder isn’t the immediate first choice all the time I’m just saying. “We have to respect Emma’s wishes” I’m sure others have pulled all the receipts but oh boy that’s a loaded line there. My goodness. Also lying to Henry isn’t cool, I don’t care if it was Emma’s idea. Emma’s had some pretty terrible ideas in the past. Like that time she took her whole family to hell?

Rumple what even is your accent doing And why DID you pick Mr. Rogers (heh) as your partner Because you know who you are and think you deserve eternal punishment? What?

Weaver is like “what is this nonsense” And then “we work for me” WELL THAT ISN’T OMINOUS AT ALL

And then Regina’s magic didn’t work, so that’s awkward. But presumably magic works differently there. Although her magic worked fine in OTHER other realms before, so who knows. Also the slipper doesn’t really look much like glass at all. Oh well.

Weaver has brought his new puppy of a partner to the bar. Rumple wants Regina to be awake? Maybe? He seemed to have put a bit of emphasis on ‘Henry Mills’ and was waiting for a reaction.

CGI COBBLESTONES! And Wish!Hook. How’d HE get here? What a terrible wig. I love it. Colin must have had so much fun doing this again. But oh my that makeup is kind of dire. Wait, Wish!Hook thought he couldn’t find love? Wasn’t his whole deal REVENGE COS HIS LOVE WAS MURDERED? That would have happened in the Wish Realm too. Oy. Heh, well-played W!Hook. You’d think Original Hook would have a better read on his alter ego.

“I’m not the man you think I am” Ok.

W!Hook has a history with Lady Tremaine? Ok. The wand is not the best prop they’ve ever done, for sure. And now W!Hook is young and skinny again. K.

Henry this is ridiculous and also kind of perfect. Nice job, bud.

Detectives do you even have a warrant I am SCANDALIZED. Nancy Drew? K. Weaver, your voice has gotten better. Sort of. Bobby what even are you doing with your accent. Why is Weaver being so creepy. So many questions.

Aww mother and daughter reunited. Tiana knows what’s up with Henry and Cinderella though.

Regina’s recap of what’s happened in Storybrooke is adorable. Archie officiating all the weddings. W!Hook you’re not very convincing. Although apparently convincing enough for Henry and Regina. Sigh.

“You don’t seem like yourself” well at least Henry noticed, a little. “Killian wanted me to rest” um, Emma, he’s not in charge. “I’m pregnant” yeah, well.

W!Hook looks ashamed of himself. Pregnancy changed his mind?

This is clearly a test for Rogers but I’m not sure what outcome Weaver is hoping for.

Original Recipe Hook has just attempted murdering himself which seems about par for the course on this show. And of COURSE W!Hook has a long-lost daughter but how’s that work, when did that happen?

Rumple, don’t hit your grandson.

W!Hook’s daughter was imprisoned by a witch but apparently not so much that he couldn’t see her and play chess all the time. What an odd sort of prison. Is Alice the daughter? The chess thing would make sense. But being imprisoned by a witch would also go with Rapunzel so who knows. “Believe” I DO BELIEVE IN EMMAS, I DO I DO.

Rumplestiltskin just admired the morals of Captain Hook and I can’t even with this show

I like Henry and his once and future wife together.

Ok, Emma’s “do you wanna come back?” was so eager. That’s good. Look, I get that W!Hook’s DEATHBED CONVERSION was touching but why are they so trusting. Why are these characters like this. WHY. At least Regina is going too. But maybe Regina needs some new clothes. And maybe W!Hook does too.

Seriously what’s with the spinny death wheel of fire portals though

This feels like such a half-assed send-off for Emma’s character. But then Emma’s character was kind of destroyed long ago. It wasn’t as bad as I’d feared from spoilers though. At least there’s that.

Henry illustrated his book too? That’s impressive. I wonder why Rogers’ memories have Emma and searching for a missing girl but Henry’s have horrible death by fire for his family. Does Roni have missing people in hers too? What about Weaver? Or does Weaver even HAVE curse memories? ALSO will Rumple get a first name with this curse or will it be Detective like it was Mister in Storybrooke? (Perhaps it’s still Barbara)