#“now promise me you'll stay away from magic rings”

[thenotoriousscuttlecliff]

I hope that Elrond and Isildur do get to meet at some point, hopefully this season, and they acknowledge that they are kin and form a bond that last until the end of the series, making what happens at Mount Doom all the more tragic.

[gamergirl-niffler]

Keeping You Close To Keep You Safe || Genshin x reader headcanons

A/N: This is my entry for the Weekly Challenge! I really tried my best so I hope it's at least a little bit good.

Prompt: grabbing each other's hands in crowds to "be safe"

Neuvillette

💧 The two of you decided to go and see Lyney magic shows.

💧 Recently you both had a lot of work on your shared shoulders so this was a nice idea to relax.

💧 The whole Opera Epiclese is filled to the brim with people who also want to see the magic.

💧 You aren't a fan of crowds.

💧 Neuvillette is fully aware of your dislike of crowds. He isn't a fan of them himself.

💧 "Maybe we should leave? There will be other magic shows soon. Maybe then there will be less people?" You suggest, giving Neuvillette a soft smile.

💧 He looks at you and shakes his head. "No need. Allow me," Iudex says softly and offers you his hand. "This way, you'll stay close to me. If you don't mind."

💧 You give him a nod and place your hand in his. "I don't mind at all. Thank you."

💧 Neuvillette smiles, giving your hand a soft squeeze as he leads the both of you to your seat.

💧 Your hands stay intertwined long after the start of the show.

Tighnari

☘️ It's not uncommon for you to get into trouble while on the patrol. 

☘️ You are a very experienced ranger yet still tend to be a literal magnet for problems. 

☘️ Tighnari likes you BUT he is getting tired of this. Thankfully he has an easy solution for this.

☘️ He simply joins you on your next patrol. Rightfully so, you are surprised but you aren't complaining. 

☘️ Everything is going fine. That is until you decide to stray away to check something and get attacked by Dendroshroom.

☘️ Thankfully you are saved by Tighnari. "I swear to Archon. How are you still alive?" He asks, shaking his head.

☘️ "I guess I am very lucky?" You shrug, getting up from the group. After this you join him back on the main patch.

☘️ At some point you want to stray away again but this time Tighnari grabs your hand, holding it tightly. "Just to be safe. I'll hold your hand until this patrol is over."

☘️ You blink but nod, realizing that you indeed were a bit of a problem. "Okay. That sounds reasonable"

☘️ He squeezes your hand with a nod. "At least I don't need to worry about you."

Diluc

🔥 You agreed to join Diluc on one of those fancy banquets.

🔥 You just walk around to check out everything while he is away until you feel a tap on your shoulder.

🔥 There is a tall man, dressed in probably the most expensive outfit you have ever seen with many rings decorating his slim fingers. 

🔥 "Forgive me for bothering you, but such a beauty shouldn't wander around alone. How about you join me?" He offers with a soft, a little menacing smile.

🔥 You are about to politely decline his kind offer  when you are pulled to the side by Diluc. "This beauty already has company. You can go now," he says and you can feel the tension in his voice.

🔥 "Very well. Time is money, I won't waste it on fighting over a woman," the man shrugs and walks away.

🔥 "You could be a little nicer," you remind, looking up at him.

🔥 Diluc scoffs and intertwines his fingers with yours, squeezing your palm. "I won't be nice while dealing with the Fatui Harbinger."

🔥 You gasp and look in a man's direction. "He is one of them?”

🔥 "Yeah but you are safe with me. I promise," Diluc assures you, giving your hand a squeeze.

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

One Parallel to Rule Them All

I’ve seen a lot of comparisons of Saurondriel to other ships (Reylo, Hannigram, etc.), but to me, what comes closer to Saurondriel dynamic is Vanessa Ives x Dracula in “Penny Dreadful”.

For those not familiar with the story: Dracula has been grouping Vanessa’s mind for ages, because he wants her as his bride and queen. He tempts her with promises of love and power, but Vanessa always resists.

Pretty much like the OG Dracula, he's the progenitor and master of all vampires. His plan is world domination. He's an ancient immortal spirit with, you guessed it: They are many, my names… like the carrion circling Golgotha.

Like Galadriel, Vanessa is also on a hunt for Dracula for a very long time, for personal reasons: he kidnapped her best friend (who’s like a sister to her). Galadriel is on a hunt of Sauron because he killed her brother.

Vanessa Ives is the female lead character of “Penny Dreadful”, and in the outside she’s poised, mysterious and dignified. She is, however, full of secrets, inner demons and dangers: her main struggle is to stay on God's side as she struggles with the darkness within herself, and is tempted by both Dracula and Lucifer (The Devil) to join them. She has several supernatural gifts, which are a burden to her and everyone around her (and they threaten to destroy her very life, and her relationships with others): she’s a medium, clairvoyant, mind-reader, expert on protective magic (to block evil), divination, and white witchcraft, in general. She also gets possessed on occasion. If all of this sounds familiar it’s because it’s pretty similar to “Lady of the Light” Galadriel herself.

One kiss and you're free of all this. In this mortal world you'll always be shunned for your uniqueness, but not with me. They will lock you away in rooms like this. They will brand you a freak and a sorceresses, but I won't. I love you for who you are, Vanessa. Penny Dreadful, A Blade of Grass, 3x04 Context: Vanessa is locked up in a mental asylum in this scene, and Dracula and the Devil possess a worker to speak with her, and tempt her to their side

All others look on you with doubt. I alone can see your greatness. I alone can see your light [...] I would make you a queen. Fair as the sea and the Sun. Stronger than the foundations of the earth. Rings of Power, Alloyed, 1x08

Meeting in Human Form:

When Dracula/Sauron, finally, appears to Vanessa/Galadriel, in the flesh, he hides his true self behind a human form, and poses as “Dr. Alexander Sweet”/Halbrand, a zoologist at the Natural Museum, in London/random dude who hides a secret.

Catching Feelings:

Both Vanessa and Galadriel fall in love with Dr. Sweet (Dracula)/Halbrand (Sauron).

The Reveal:

Eventually, both Vanessa and Galadriel discover Dracula/Sauron true identity, and put a weapon against them. Both villains try to justify themselves, with the truth:

Have I lied? You met a man who marvels wide-eyed at the miracles of nature. So I am. You met a man who has known pain and tragedy. And so I am. You met a man who wanted to possess you for his own ends but, instead, he fell in love. That's the man I am, and the monster. Penny Dreadful, Ebb Tide, 3x07

You told me. After our victory, you said that whatever I'd done before I could be free of it now [...] I told you the truth. I told you that I had done evil, and you did not care. Because you knew that our past meant nothing, weighed against our future. Rings of Power, Alloyed, 1x08

The Proposal:

Here's the catch. Vanessa resisted Dracula several times before (like Galadriel), until she doesn't, and accepts his offer, because she can no longer escape the darkness within herself: I will love you till time has lost all meaning, Dracula promises her.

Galadriel will have to accept the darkness within herself too, as we’ve seen on the Third Age (not sure if it implies her giving up to Sauron, though).

In Penny Dreadful, Vanessa eventually "gets rescued” from Dracula (she’s killed, actually) by an agent of God (Ethan Chandler), who comes to confront Dracula: I suppose I can't blame you. I would feel the same. After all, without her, what do we have left, Ethan? 

For the sake of the argument, if this parallel was to continue, and we see Galadriel succumbing to Sauron in Season 3, who could this “agent of God” be in “Rings of Power”? Gandalf, of course. The Maia of Manwë (King of the Valar) sent to Middle-earth to help the Free people defeat Sauron.

[katsukikitten]

"Those damn dark elves and the thalmer are all imperial spies! This is our city." The drunk shouts outside of the tavern and already Katsuki can see the displeasure on your face.

"Shut up. No one wants to hear you defend this shit hole with your bad attitude." You hiss as you climb the stairs where the man, surprisingly steady on his feet, blocks the door.

"Tsk. You half bastards shouldn't be skulking around our city, especially you Khajit." He all but spits, smug look on his face as he looks to Bakugou to agree with him not realizing the ash blonde is getting angrier by the second.

Thinks of a good Thu'um that would make him piss his britches but the man thinks Bakugou's grimace is in agreement.

"Bet ya 100 gold I can beat your ass half breed. No magic, no weapons, no potions, just fists." The drunk offers to you, the idea makes a cat smile form on your pretty features as Bakugou howls with laughter behind you.

"Oh this ought to be good." He crosses his arms glaring down the half drunk man, "Can't say Imma pull her off of ya right away."

Katsuki has seen you fight, seen you take a swipe from a bear without being stunned, he knows you can beat some soft bellied citizen with nothing better to do than bitch.

"You'll have to peel me offa her!" The man protests, tossing his coin purse on the ground while you toss a small one next to his all the same.

"I'll even let ya swing first. So when you're ready!" He shouts and before he can even register what's happened you've already pulled back your first and connected it to his jaw.

He swallows three teeth, the other two arc and land in the snow never to be found. Eyes rolling into the back of his head and you're about to jump on him.

About to land blow after blow but Katsuki wraps his strong arm around your rib cage and pulls your back into his chest.

"He's meeting the Divines now, princess. No need to add insult to injury." Bakugou chuckles, waving off the guard that was starting to approach much too late, "Or do you want to up your bounty here? I saw your wanted poster and the closer they get the harder it'll be for you to hide again."

He keeps his hold on you, picks up the two pouches of gold and puts them in your backpack, ready to haul you inside with the promise of a warm meal and a warmer drink.

But you've slipped through his arm, kneeling on the ground with a snarl on your lips as you dig through his pockets to come up with his house key even if you were positive he'd lost his life savings in two seconds flat.

"Princess." Bakugou uses that annoying nickname again, 'princess of thieves' he always teased not realizing at one point they wanted to make you guild master but you declined.

"I'll even pay extra for a fresh sweet roll and berry tart." He offers you his hand so he can pull you back on to the stone porch, watches you hesitate before he sweetens the deal, "I won't even ask for a bite."

You stay unmoving, glaring up at him, so long he's starting to lose your form even in the brightness of the flickering fire lights. Unease of losing you for the evening makes the muscles in his forearm roll and a tic in his jaw as he struggles to keep his face passive. Easy going with that half smirk he knows you like.

"Promise?" Finally comes your voice and for a moment he thinks he hears it behind him, wonders if you've thrown it to make his guard go down so you could slip away but he doesn't feel the hair rising on the nape of his neck the times you do stand close enough to kill him so he figures you haven't moved.

Another moment of quiet and you've blended into the brush below completely, all sight of you gone. But he's determined and stubborn, hand still held out until your gloved hand, with a shiny diamond ring enchanted to aid in archery or thievery he can't remember, slides into his. Yanking you up and on to the stone stairs. Broad palms smoothing down your Nightingale armor, squeezing your wrists until you look up into his flawless ruby red eyes.

"Promise."

If you see a Skyrim au or Skyrim au drabbles NO YOU FUCKING DONT

[lokisprettygirl]

This is the last one I promise 😂.

The request was, the reader has been having issues about self worth because she's not being very productive and she's struggling with work. So, she just randomly falls asleep without getting work done or being able to go on dates with Loki and after some times he snaps and calls her useless so she breaks down and tells him everything and he comforts her maybe and they have a break or something. Please add your idea into it if you decide to write this. Basically you can change the whole story line and just keep it loosely based on this😅. Thank you!!!! And I'm sorry if this made you anyhow uncomfortable. Love you💝

🧁

Honestly I just went with it. I know the feeling you described and it's the worst. I hope you'll enjoy it ❤️💚🥰 love you dear.

Warning : Feeling of hopelessness

Incompetent, that's the word that popped up in your head whenever you felt..useless. And it happened more often than you could remember. You'd have days where you kicked your assignments, finished your deadlines and felt good about yourself but then there were those days when everything got too much and all you wanted to do was disappear from this world, you wanted to hide so you wouldn't have to work anymore. 

Having anxiety made it worse for you because you were always afraid of not meeting the deadlines, you hated that word truly. This isn't how you imagined your life would be like when you were 10, you were supposed to have it all figured out by now.

When you met Loki he brought a sense of peace and comfort along with him, which went against the title of mischief and chaos they had adorned him with. He brought anything but chaos in your life. He was kind, sweet, caring and he was the one you have been waiting to meet all your life. 

But that feeling passed too, as work got busy and the time you spent with him lessened, it strained your relationship with him. Finals were close too, and you couldn't handle everything at once, work was too much and you had no time to even sit back and breathe properly, let alone date a literal god from another realm. 

Dates after dates were cancelled because you neither had the time nor you had the energy to dress up for him after a long day, all of this made you feel awful as well, you didn't want to drive him away but you just couldn't stay strong anymore. All you wanted to do was fall asleep and hibernate for a while, maybe things would get done magically when you wake up. 

You groaned as you heard the doorbell ring and it woke you up from a beautiful dream you were having about Loki and the life you'd live if you weren't..you. 

When you opened the door it was him, he looked sullen.

"I brought dinner, were you sleeping?" He asked you as he noticed the sleepy marks on your face, normally he found the sight adorable but today that only pissed him off because you cancelled on him for the umpteenth time telling him that you had to finish work projects.

"I just took a nap" you mumbled to him as you closed the door,

"A nap? You didn't come with me to my brother's birthday party for a nap? I wanted them all to meet you finally" his eyes teared up as he spoke and as much as it made you feel even more grumpy, you understood his hurt. This is the fifth date you have cancelled in the last two months. 

"Soo? I was tired, I had no energy to dress up and enjoy a party with your superhero friends " you snapped at him and he chuckled, he placed the box of takeout down on the table and walked past you, mumbling something that finally broke you down into a million pieces.

"You know what, I have better things to do anyways, this is fucking useless" 

The word, that's what broke you down, you never wanted to hear it from him of all people, even though he didn't say it to you directly but more so the situation, you knew it was a jab at you, and as much as you didn't want to blame him, it really did hurt when he got so angry with you. 

As he heard you crying he turned around to look at you, he regretted snapping at you as soon as he did, and when he saw you collapse down on your knees, his heart truly broke for you. He never wanted to hurt you like this but he was tired and hurt of waiting on you while you just cancelled on him at the last moment.

"Y/n" he walked towards you and picked you up instantly in his arms then he made you sit down on the couch as you cried and cried.

"Hey I'm sorry, I am sorry sweetheart, I didn't mean to.." 

"No you did, you did mean to say it loki and I don't blame you, I am useless, I can't even handle my life, my work or myself for that matter, I don't know why I thought that I deserved a happy relationship, I don't deserve it" you sobbed as he hugged you tightly. He has been asking you to share your worries with him but the stubborn mule inside you didn't want to bother him with your issues, you should have known that it would backfire someday. 

"Okay first of all I didn't address you as useless, I was frustrated with the situation darling so please don't ..I am sorry I really am, it just hurts me when you keep..when you keep cancelling on our plans, I love you I really do and you know how hard all of this has been for me too so when I need you and you're not there, I just take it personally. What is happening here darling? Please talk to meee" He asked you as his eyes welled up too and that made you sob even harder, he deserved all the love in the world after everything he has been through and you were not giving him that.

"I just..I'm so overwhelmed, managing studies with work is killing me and I don't think I'm equipped to handle all of this, I just feel like disappearing at times when things get too hectic and I know I can't disappear so that makes it so much worse..i just ..I'm sorry loki but this is all too much" 

You broke down in his arms and he caressed your back gently, trying to comfort you. Even though his own heart was breaking, he knew you needed him at the moment. Mortals put too much pressure on themselves to have a perfect life and he didn't understand it very well but he knew that's what you wanted to do at the moment, your work was your priority and he didn't want to take that away from you.

"Why didn't you tell me hmm? When did I stop being your friend and became just that boyfriend that you felt you couldn't share your worries with?" You looked at him wide-eyed as he said that. 

"Lokii I ..I don't want to lose you or your love or your affection and all the ways you make me happy..but I don't think I'm treating you the way you deserve to be treated right now" your lips trembled as you spoke so he kissed your forehead

"You won't lose me darling, I'll always be here I promise, now I need you to stop crying and take a deep breath for me okay?" He caressed your back until your sobs stopped coming in and then he fed you. You both talked about the situation and decided that it would be best to not continue the romantic relationship as long as you were still continuing your studies and managing work with it.

It was the wrong time, right person type of situation and it broke his heart to let you go as his girlfriend but as promised he didn't leave you completely or abandon you like you were afraid he would, Any other guy would have just given up but not him. Once a week he'd end up in your apartment with a box of take out and few drinks so you could unwind and unload your problems on him. He stayed in touch and he never allowed you to feel as if he had abandoned you completely. 

After your final year exams finished you wanted to celebrate and only one person came to mind with whom you wanted to spend the time with so you picked up your phone and called him, he was there in an hour.

He noticed that you dressed up for the Little celebration and that made him smile.

"You look beautiful my darling" he mumbled as he hugged you, you sighed as his cologne filled your senses. You have missed him being yours, there was a time when you had this god to call your own and you made him drift away from you. Your eyes teared up as you pulled away from the hug and that made him worry too

"What's wrong darling?" He asked you softly as he cupped your cheeks 

"Nothing I just..I miss you..I miss us" he smiled as you said that.

"I have been here all this time, I just took the pressure off your back, the immense pressure of dating, you didn't need that with everything else you had going" your eyes teared up more as he said that. As his words swelled your heart. He was too kind for his own good.

"I don't deserve you lo..I let go of you when things got hard, I wasn't there when you needed me" you sobbed so he cupped your cheeks and kissed your forehead.

"No you didn't..I did, it was my idea remember? You just didn't know how to handle me and I don't blame you" he chuckled and that made you smile

"I feel so selfish right now " you placed your head down on his chest and his eyes teared up more. Maybe things will get back to normal again, he has definitely missed sleeping the nights with you in his arms and doing all the things that comes with it. 

"It's not selfish to pick yourself darling, you needed time to work on yourself and I needed it too, when things are meant to happen and people are destined to be together, nothing can keep them apart for long and like I said I was always here, I'll always be here"

You kissed him as soon as he finished his words, life was harder than you thought it could ever be and even though you knew insecurities and pressure will get to you again, you also knew that with him by your side you'll make it and you'll be okay. 

You both will be okay. All you knew was that you never wanted to let him go again no matter what happens.

[fog-weaver-of-nyc]

Big Brother is here

Feat: Mentions of @ask-spidersisters and @the-tangle-web

Jace had never been to the compound without Sterling, and Bryce had never been there, the Christmas incident happening before the kid had joined the odd little family. Something Jace was thankful for, if only to spare Bryce the trauma of seeing his older sister looking more like a corpse then most would consider comfortable, immortals knew how badly the trauma would have set Bryce back.

Said child seemed more inclined to cling to Jace's cloak and stare at the facility with big, round eyes. By this point the shield agents knew Jace and Sterling enough to leave the college kid and his younger brother alone, their saturated colours giving away who they were. Eventually finding a quiet section of the compound with some sorry looking potted plants, Jace stopped and turned to the kid.

"Hey Bryce? Can you do me a huge favour and stay right here? I need to have an adult talk with two people here and it will probably get super mean."

The 10 year old looked startled and shifted uncomfortably.

"Um, You won't be gone long, right?"

"I promise to be as quick as I can, it shouldn't take more than thirty minutes. In the meantime, maybe you can make these plants feel better while you wait?"

At the idea of helping the plants, Bryce seemed ten times more on board.

"Okay, but you better be quick."

That was such a Harry thing to say, but at least the kid had some attitude now compared to before he spent time around the middle brother. But secure in the fact the kid would be alright for at least half an hour, Jace gave his younger brother a head pat and focused in on Stark's life force and stalked off down the twisting corridors, shadows seemingly stretching to follow him.

-----

It took less than five minutes to track down the targets of his ire, who seemed to be arguing themselves over what they should have done. In Jace's opinion, they should have actually tried to get Anthony therapy and asked if they'd be okay meeting one another, not just throw them in a room and expect things to go well.

"- rings necessary?"

"Unless you wanted that cluster fuck to escalate further Stark, then yes, they were a necessity."

Oh he did not just say that.

The faint spectral whispers that usually only Jace could hear, suddenly became faintly audible, making the director of shield and the playboy freeze.

"I think you'll find, those rings did more harm than good."

Jace pushed much of his spectral magic into making his voice echo, and having his hood block out everything but his mask. He wasn't naturally intimidating like Sterling, Rebellion's tended to just be like that, death's children could go either way. And Jace was one of the more 'comforting embrace' kind of death spawnlings. Didn't mean he didn't pick up tricks from dear old dad, and Stark going pale let him know he was doing something right.

"Who the fu-"

"Night Wren, Scarlet's older brother director. Be thankful it's me that you are currently speaking with, and not our dear father. You don't have the immunity some others do to his no maiming rule."

At the mention of Sterling, he swore Stark went paler than a corpse.

"Oh relax a bit, the old man isn't aware of your fuck up, not yet anyway. Otherwise it wouldn't be me you're having a chat with."

"What happened isn't any of the Fog-Weaver's or your concern, it is Shield and Avengers business."

"It became our problem, Director, when you caused my sister to have a panic attack due to unethical containment methods. But why would I ever expect ethics from a government body, especially when dealing with traumatized teenagers."

Jace's voice lowered, it was still audible, but the danger was there. He half wondered if a spirit was lending him their voice for this one, seeing as the room dropped a few degrees.

"It is the most effective way to deal with dangerous outbursts from super powered individuals."

"The most effective? Director. I think we need to have a conversation about when that's appropriate and when it isn't. Two teenagers of similar strength and capabilities going at it is not an appropriate time, that is when you perform parental duties and find a way to seperate them that doesn't involve restraints. For instance, calling the guardian of one of said teens that you know is capable of getting to the location in under five minutes."

Jace glared, making sure it was felt and the whispers got louder.

"It's also not appropriate to use it as a form of punishment, if I can infer from your earlier conversation, that you use it on the teen in your care. I recommend looking at reports on the psychological effects this could have on someone who is clearly already struggling. You saw what can happen when it is used upon someone struggling with PTSD."

"While your concern is noted, it is not your business on how this is handled."

The whispers became deafening, incomprehensible to anyone but Jace as the cold air condensed into a ghostly scythe, incorporeal at first glance, until the blade was posed at Fury's throat, making the man raise an eyebrow at Jace.

"Again, it became my business when my little sister got involved, director. And since no one will advocate on Anthony's behalf, I'll make it my business. Learn to be a guardian Fury, before my father steps in, and makes you wish you learned."

The room abruptly changed back to normal, and Jace turned on his heel and left, leaving a shaken Stark and unreadable Fury behind, The unmistakable chill of the grave clinging to them.

-----

A new problem occured when he went to collect Bryce. Namely, Bryce wasn't where he left him. He could tell the kid was nearby, but due to Bryce having a life aura that made him look like a plant, it was impossible to know where the kid went exactly.

"By the Immortals, Bryce. Why did you wander off?"

Jace groaned slightly, before beginning his search. It thankfully didn't take terribly long to find his wayward younger brother, the ten year old just having wandered into a totaled conference room.

One that contained the Tangleweb, and a spider cat. Of course. Both clearly had become victims to Bryce's habit of making flower crowns when bored, judging by the cat loaf with a little crown on its head and Anthony having a couple next to him. Shaking his head, Jace took a few pictures for later before walking over to retrieve his brother.

"Sorry if he bothered you, I didn't expect him to wander off."

Jace apologized and picked up his younger sibling, who made a squeak noise of surprise, before latching on to him, as Jace hurried to leave the room. Over Jace's shoulder, Bryce waved, calling out a farewell.

"Bye kitty! Bye Tangleweb!"

Before they disappeared around a corner to head to their sisters' apartment.

[your-brilliant-lady-m]

Part 1 - Basic Concepts of Miraculous Ladybug: Miraculous Jewels

Alright! I promised you meta and now I deliver!

I feel like people mostly watch Miraculous for the romance these days. Shipping is all everyone cares about. I wonder why? Probably because writers themselves don't take their worldbuilding very seriously and because they don't put much effort into making the audience care about something other than Love Square, like the mythology behind the Miraculous, or motivations of the main villain, or some pretty heavy topics for a kid's show that they bring up and then refuse to touch again. You know, all the good things. And this is coming from someone who is a passionate multishipper. I have lived through several shipping wars in different fandoms and came out victorious after all.

I am probably the only person out there who cares about the big picture, the overall storyline and the worldbuilding of Miraculous in addition to all details and implications that could develop into fascinating plotlines relevant to the main story. It is a rather lonely fandom experience, I must confess. But, hey? Who cares? I am here to have fun and bring to the table discussions no one wants to have.

So, let's talk about the basics.

If you, as the writing team, are capable of keeping only 1 thing consistent, then please, I beg you, let it be the basic concepts of your universe. Because in this case, one has to actively put effort into writing characters and conflict resolutions badly. And also because nothing can save bad worldbuilding.

I don't have high worldbuilding standards for Miraculous. They certainly aren't as high as the ones I had for Legend of Korra (which was a badly written trainwreck, that ATLA doesn't deserve as a sequel) or the ones I currently have for Dragon Prince. Therefore I won't be too harsh in my criticisms. Granted, I think that Miraculous has better worldbuilding and lore consistency than Winx Club for example (I haven't seen the reboot yet, so writers might have fixed their worldbuilding at least a little bit). Even though I enjoyed Winx when I was younger and some elements of this story still attract me.

Both serialised and episodic shows as well as movies to the lesser extent must have some flexibility in worldbuilding and plot because you can never be 100% sure where your story is going. Maybe, you'll get money for more seasons, maybe not. However, you must never lose sight of your basic concepts. They have to stay the same no matter what, because rewriting lore and retconning major developments every new season is not and never will be called good writing.

Forgive me for using architectural metaphors, but you need a solid foundation to build any kind of structure. Otherwise, everything falls apart.

I like to apply this logic to writing as well. When designing a world where your story takes place, you must lay a few ground rules. It's especially important if you have a magic system. What kind of ideas absolutely must exist? What kind of conclusion do you want your story to have? Does your magic system has limitations? Where is the grey area? Could you introduce new elements later on?

And I feel like the writing team of Miraculous Ladybug did not ask these questions. This may feel like I am nit-picking canon material and looking for problems that simply aren't there, but I promise that I am not. You see, things that I am about to point out only seem small at first glance. But these details are actually the source of the largest plotholes in the series. And their presence negatively affects character development, conflicts and resolutions of said conflicts.

That doesn't mean that I have nothing good to say about the magic system of the show and its elements. There are a lot of great ideas and concepts. And some of them have the potential to contribute to the delightful story.

Let's dive right into it, shall we?

Camouflage

I have to give credit where it's due because the idea of camouflage and shapeshifting for Miraculouses is brilliant. It seems like Miraculous can't fundamentally change its type of jewellery or accessory. The ring will always be the ring but with a different ornament, colour or shape. This is true most of the time (Monkey Miraculous is an exception since it transformed into earplugs/headphones/headband/circlet) It makes sense and avoids plotholes. Grimoire doesn't have the pictures of each Miraculous in disguise for identity protection. That was very neat too. I have no comments. This concept was very good.

Also, since Marinette wore a nose ring of the Ox in "Kwamibuster" without any problem and Adrien wore Ladybug's earrings in "Reflekdoll", we can assume that you don't need to have piercings to wear a Miraculous. Miraculous just magically passes through your skin.

I'm interested to know the following. Can Kwamis recognise a camouflaged Miraculous on a person? Can the holder order them to confess the identity of this person? This shouldn't be possible for identity protection just like with Kwamis sensing each other. But more on that in later posts.

Power Levels

For a long time, we assume that there are only 7 Miraculouses. Turtle belongs to Master Fu, Gabriel has Butterfly and Peacock, Marinette and Adrien have Ladybug and Black Cat. Everything is pretty straightforward. Then it's revealed that there are more jewels and more boxes. It makes the worldbuilding interesting, but it also majorly complicates things, making them inconsistent.

Their position in the Miracle Box implies their power levels. Creation and destruction are the most powerful forces in existence, therefore they are at the top. Moreover, it makes this Box the most important, the most powerful out of all others. Su Han in "Furious Fu" calls it "Mother Miracle Box". Fox, Turtle, Bee, Butterfly and Peacock have less power than the main pair, but more than the Miraculous of the lower Zodiac tier (since they correspond with animals of the Chinese Zodiac).

1. Ladybug can create anything out of nothing (Lucky Charm, which gives what you need the most at the moment). This Miraculous can resurrect the dead, reverse the effects of the Cataclysm. The power of Miraculous Cure or Miraculous Ladybug can work in several ways:

it simply repairs the damage (puts stuff back together, heals injuries and so on)

it reverses time for the matter, restoring things back to the state they were before the destruction occurred (however, the Cure doesn't erase people's memories of everything that happened unless they were mind-controlled, frozen in place or transformed by Akuma into something else - this is an important point that I'll discuss some other time)

How does Miraculous Cure work when there are no supervillians? In NY Special Marinette just says this.

Excuse me, what? What was that? You can't do anything when the villain is gone? What the hell?

*insert here every scene where Ladybug fixed Paris after destroying akumatized/amokized object (this action causes the Akuma victim to detransform/sentimonster to disappear - villain is gone) and purifying butterfly and feather*

It was such cheap angst. I couldn't even be upset when Adrien gave up his Miraculous, because that whole situation is just stupid. But, never mind. We aren't talking about that today.

Apparently, Lucky Charm and Miraculous Cure only work when summoned to battle a specific villain. What is the point then? Huh? You can't tell me that Ladybug has the power of unlimited creation and then say that she can't repair the damage without a special Lucky Charm that was magically synchronised with specific big bad of the week.

Ladybug also can purify Akumas. It makes sense for Ladybug to have the ability to reverse the magic of less powerful Miraculous. But this power can't be applied universally. How does this power of reversal apply to different situations where there is no evil Butterfly holder? Can Ladybug reverse the magic of any Miraculous?

The unlimited power of creation introduced in season 4 ("Mr. Pidgeon 72") is another fascinating thing. On one hand, it's logical and proves the status of this Miraculous as the most powerful. On the other hand, by introducing this power, you have created a plothole. Look, Marinette can create the charm which repels Akumas. If Ladybug can create anything then what stops her from creating a tool for finding Hawkmoth (like special glasses for discovering identities or a compass)? I mean, the show says that the power of creation is unlimited, it means that the creation of such tool is possible.

2. Black Cat can destroy anything with Cataclysm, even other Miraculous. He can kill living things and turn them into ash, but not himself. This Miraculous is supposed to have other special abilities that we don't see. And they should be equal to powers of Ladybug, both in number and in potency. Unfortunately, after 3 seasons writers didn't give us anything. It makes laughable the idea of balance between Ladybug and Black Cat.

Now, to the second tier. These Miraculouses have a singular ability, but they need a second one to keep the power balanced between Zodiac and the main pair.

3. Butterfly creates champions with different superpowers. But how does the time limit of children work for Butterfly? In theory, the countdown should start right after the creation of the Akuma since for Ladybug and Chat Noir countdown starts after activation of their powers even if they don't use them. However, if the countdown of the Butterfly begins after Akuma creation then there's no point because the holder has to stay transformed to guide their champion. The charged butterfly won't have time to even grant powers before the transformation of the child-holder drops. This issue is never explored because Gabriel doesn't have a time limit. However, I feel like it should be addressed in flashbacks of past Butterfly holders for example.

This Miraculous should be less powerful than Ladybug and Black Cat. It's often not. Some Akumas are too overpowered. Stormy Weather can move the Earth away from the Sun, Timetagger can send people through time and jump through time as well, Chat Blanc destroyed the world with a single energy blast, Miraculer could steal powers of those more powerful than her by default. These are the most notable examples. One could argue that Chat Blanc was a different case. Hawkmoth simply gave the most powerful Miraculous a boost. However, we know that even without a holder (the wildest and the most powerful form of uncontrolled Miraculous magic) Plagg's Cataclysm can't destroy the universe just like that (he presumably wiped out dinosaurs and sunk Atlantis on his own without a holder). I think that the less powerful Miraculous (Butterfly) shouldn't be able to increase the power of destruction to such a degree and give Black Cat the power to destroy celestial bodies and galaxies.

Writers want us to see Hawkmoth as the formidable villain. But it's not easy because he is less powerful than your main heroes by default of your worldbuilding. Sometimes writers make the Butterfly more powerful than creation and destruction to raise the stakes, breaking the laws of their magic system. So, how do you solve this? Let Ladybug and Black Cat keep their status as the most powerful and instead of giving Hawkmoth more magical power, make him smarter, more cunning, inventive. Gabriel is a fashion designer, whose creativity makes him a very good Butterfly holder. He has a life full of experience, he knows much more about things than the main teenage characters. Catalyst was very interesting for this very reason. Gabriel sort of discovered a cheat code to boost his powers. Show us how he experiments with his powers, how he analyses his past Akumas and tries to find the most effective ones. Maybe Gabriel tries to design Akumas that can specifically neutralise Ladybug and Chat Noir. This exploration could also give writers an opportunity to explain how the powers of Butterfly work. Can he control the type of powers he grants? Can he control the appearance of Akumas? There are many things to be explored.

4. Peacock creates sentimonsters. I remember that fans were very disappointed when the power of the Peacock was revealed at the end of season 2. I was one of them. The concept of Amoks is far too similar to akumatized butterflies. Other Miraculouses have unique abilities and keywords for their powers, while Peacock just looks like Butterfly 2.0. That glowing mask effect just adds insult to injury.

You have to start by figuring out the powers of the Peacock in a normal situation. If a holder is a good person, then how does their power work? For example, make them related to sight (because of the "eye" pattern on feathers). Maybe, Peacock grants the ability to see the several possibilities of the future, but only a few minutes ahead. Maybe, this Miraculous gives you the ability to see through someone's eyes for a few minutes (and the victim is completely unaware of the intrusion). Perhaps, Peacock allows the holder to use feathers (or tiny peacocks) as cameras one at a time and be all-seeing. These feather-spies can be destroyed by the holder or disappear on their own after some time. Such power could be devastating when used against heroes in canon.

5. Bee can paralyze. This power is pretty straightforward. Once I read a fanfiction focused on very vell done Chloe Redemption, where she fights alongside Ladybug and Chat Noir. Eventually, she grows and becomes a better person. This fic ends with an Akuma battle, where LB and CN are trapped and Akuma is ready to kill them. But Chloe uses a second power of the Bee on the villain - Miraculous Stinger. It's deadly both for the holder and for the victim (because bees die when they sting someone). Chloe kills the Akuma with a Stinger before it can get LB and CN, but she too dies making the ultimate irreversible sacrifice. I will add a link if I find it again.

6. Turtle can create a shield. I don't have much to say on this either. It feels underpowered compared to others in the second tier. Maybe Turtle can also slow down opponents (because turtles aren't the fasters animals out there).

7. Fox creates illusions and acts as their puppeteer. In order to create a balance between other powers, these illusions must hold for as long as the holder needs them to. I propose this mostly because we see that Venom of the Bee lasts very long, the shield of the Turtle lasts either until it's destroyed or the holder wants to remove it, same goes for Akumas and sentimonsters who disappear only when the holder wants them to or their affected object is destroyed.

Let's talk about Zodiac tier. Miraculous of the third tier shouldn't have the second ability like more powerful ones. These powers are the most inconsistent. Even if we haven't seen all of them yet.

8. Mouse can create many small clones of the holder. It is unclear how these clones communicate with each other and how many of them this Miraculous can create. The holder can control the number of clones. This power was very convenient in "Kwamibuster" and it makes sense symbolically for the mouse. What activates the time-limit for children? Marinette didn't have any problems with it when she became Multimouse.

9. Snake can create a 5-minute time loop and has the ability to come back in time. This Miraculous feels a bit overpowered for the Miraculous of the Zodiac Tier. The holder can reset the time as many times as he/she needs to. It's was a good source of drama and trauma in "Desperada". I was honestly surprised that Adrien was capable of fighting after spending months in a loop. But this doesn't change the fact that Snake is overpowered. You can give this Miraculous the power to hypnotise or keep the time ability but place a limit on the number of resets. How does the lyre work as a weapon? Who knows? No one!

10. Dragon can shapeshift into elements: water, wind and lightning. It has the coolest transformation words hands down (Bring the Storm and Open Sky). Apparently this Miraculous doesn't have the time limit.

11. Rabbit can time travel or jump through alternative realities, even writers aren't sure. Time-travel in this show is so badly written it gives me a headache. This Miraculous shouldn't exist just like its powers. Snake belongs to the same tier, but 5 minutes and whole centuries of time jumps aren't comparable in power levels. They are not and this is the hill I will die on. Give the Rabbit powers related to its symbolism in China like an ability to de-age people, heal them or give them a speed boost in contrast with Turtle who might have the ability to slow down.

This Miraculous is so special that its Kwami - Fluff can live separately from his Miraculous in a Miracle Box for millennia (Fluff lives in the Box in "Sandboy", but his Miraculous, pocket watch, was passed down for generations in Alix's family). This is a discussion for a separate post, however. There's a lot to unpack. We'll do that some other time. You will suffer with me but at a later date.

12. Horse can create portals. They could lead anywhere, which is pretty cool. On the other hand, this power is not very useful in direct combat, especially when it's used by a child since we can have only one portal per transformation.

13. Monkey can cause a malfunction in powers of other people. What is the point of this? This power was specifically created by writers to defeat Akuma in "Party Crasher". That's it. What if your target is not magical? How does this Miraculous work in different circumstances?

14. Pig shows people their greatest desire. Both the holder and the recipient of this power can see this desire. Chat Noir wasn't impressed in "Guiltrip" and neither was I. It's underpowered compared to other Miraculous in this tier. Also, why does the tambourine can shoot energy beams? Why?

That's all I have to say on the matter. I'll update the power analysis as needed.

[nvrcmplt]

To challenge a God like this was a stupid man's wish of death. Wingates has fought thousands of creatures in his lifetime, but a God was still one of the list he had yet to claim with his hands drenched in their ichor. Instead, they stayed away from each other - after all, Human's with the ability to take the lives of those once thought as impossible to find, maim and even kill - God's usually kept to themselves. A wary bubble. Away from the danger of that one possibility of being found weak, of their demise becoming reality at the hands of one mortal ant. Though - didn't mean it was the same with all of them. As Wingates was witnessing here, her click of the fingers triggered the world back into activity.

Sounds flooded the space that was once as silent as a grave, now life thrives. Wings danced in the corners of one's sights, the bushes rustled with dance and even the lakeside miles out felt like it could be heard from where he stood with his axe. His glower on its edge of softening but she was pushing it back at him. A Goddess with a backbone and not just one with violence in her blood. Words were sharp, barbed and with some knowledge but she was ill-informed.

His nostrils flared with a huffed laugh, a scoff though in her jestful words. A threat was so empty, so backwards. Wards were once the epicenter of protection from the outside. . . "They are to keep me inside, Monster." He over spoke her last words. Fae were not to be feared, after all, he slayed them in their thousands. Burned their wings, slaughtered their Kings and Queens, hunted their magic rings and tore the throats of lullabies with such ease he was now their nightmare in the trees. "These wards, keep me in my world. A private, peaceful space for one man to live until he dies." He wasn't arrogant to push that aside, he was not immortal, nor would he ever be. No matter how many species threaten to give him a bite, elixir or promise of such for their lives.

"You speak as if Fae are the powerful ones here… Child, you do not know their fear stinks throughout these trees. I've uprooted their Kingdom several times in my youth. They know to stay away, well away, from me if they know best." His hands adjust over the hilt, carved with runes of magic and sigils of old languages of the Roundtable if her knowledge of foreign lines was possible to detect. "If it was to be destroyed, my fences and wards… You'll be putting yourself in danger because at that moment, Goddess. You'll be claiming war against me." Authority in his tones, he held his life in the palm of his own hand - but also in his strengths. His knowledge and experiences. He lived a life worth the movies and books out there in the world.

"Do it, if you wish it… But know that I will slay you with this very axe like the monster your kind truly are."

SHE DID NOT WISH TO HARM HIM , she quite liked mortals , especially ones with a bit of fire in their soul . if only it'd been enough to keep him young . she was not blind , he had aged greatly , lived a good life no doubt . . the way he didn't tremble before her proved that well enough . shattering only one of his wards was barely scratching the surface in regards to her abilities . he was right about one thing though , he did not own the forest , but he was the only mortal for quite a ways . she was only being polite by asking .

he faces her finally and her head slowly tilts in response , like a curious animal rather than a goddess who was accustomed to interaction . indeed , the forest had grown quiet . not even a breeze rustled the surrounding trees anymore , it was quiet and still , as if every form of life had been drained from it in only a matter of seconds . monster , beast . . these names were not unfamiliar to her , but that didn't mean they irked her any less . her eyes flit from his face toward the axe again , the passing curiosity as to just how skilled he was in combat races through her mind like a whisper .

she ignores it . watercolor eyes return to his face in time , a small smile spreading o'er top plush lips as her arms extends through the bars . index and thumb draw nearer to one another only to slide together in a loud snap - just then , the distant sound of birds chirping returns , wind strong enough to sway even the tallest of pines sweeps in . "you must lead such a lonely life , shall i make it more exciting for you?" the bars rattle momentarily before stilling again . "the only things protecting you from all that is out here . . what would happen if it was all DESTROYED?"

she draws her arm back , both hands now idle at her sides though hidden beneath the fabric of long gossamer sleeves . her eyes rise , casting her gaze toward the sky; it would rain soon . "fae and creatures of the night . . is that all you fear?" she looks back at him , finally , foggy gaze once again transfixed . she wasn't leaving just yet .

━━━━━━━━━━━━ * / ( @nvrcmplt )

[deadlyflames]

So I wanted to make a playlist of songs for pitchanna. I’m going to put all the songs on a playlist on Spotify and maybe another playlist on YouTube as well.

Anyway, please make some song suggestions as you find them. Id like to keep updating this playlist.

New Constellations - Ryn Weaver - “Child of Neptune, I'm the daughter of the Sun. Keep showing me new constellations”

Cosmic Love - Florence + the Machine - “Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too so I stayed in the darkness with you”

Willow - Taylor Swift - “Head on the pillow, I could feel you sneaking in, as if you were a mythical thing”

King - Lauren Aquilina - “Put all your faults to bed, you can be King again”

King and Lion Heart - Of Monsters and Men - “Howling ghosts they reappear in mountains that are stacked with fear, but you're a king and I'm a lionheart”

Yellow Light - Of Monsters and Men - “Just grab a hold of my hand, I will lead you through this wonderland”

I Found - Amber Run - “And I've moved further than I thought I could but I missed you more than I thought I would”

Bloodstream - Stateless - “I think I might've inhaled you”

Music of the Night - Ramin Karimloo - “Turn your thoughts away from cold unfeeling light and listen to the music of the night”

Fools - Lauren Aquilina - “Those hardest to love need it most. I watched our bodies turn to ghosts”

Dark Paradise - Lana Del Ray - “Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise”

Ocean Eyes - Billie Eilish - “I'm scared. I've never fallen from quite this high, fallin' into your ocean eyes”

As the World Falls Down - David Bowie - “I'll place the moon within your heart”

Within You - David Bowie - “Everything I've done I've done for you. I move the stars for no one”

Ghosting - Mother Mother - “And this is why I have decided to leave your house and home un-haunted. You don't need poltergeists for sidekicks”

Seaside - Haux - “We can make for the seaside. Run until our lungs cave in”

Illuminated - Hurts - “We are all illuminated, Lights are shining on our faces, blinding.”

Wishing Girl - Lola Marsh - “'Cause you, you are my lonely star. And I'm, I'm your wishing girl”

Sunlight - Hozier - “Each day, you'd rise with me know that I would gladly be the Icarus to your certainty. Oh, my sunlight”

Once Upon a Dream - Lana Del Ray - “But if I know you, I know what you'll do. You'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream”

Undisclosed Desires - Muse - “I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart”

Dark Horse - Our Last Night - “So you wanna play with magic? Girl, you should know what you're falling for”

Can’t Pretend - Tom Odell - “Love I hope you know how much my heart depends”

Tightrope - Sara Bareilles - “You pulled me in and together we're lost in a dream”

Nitesky (feat. John LaMonica) - Robot Koch - “You come through like a light in the dark, give me sight”

Sick of Losing Soulmates - dodie - “God knows where I would be if you hadn't found me sitting all alone in the dark”

The Scientist - Coldplay - “Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry. You don't know how lovely you are.”

Pieces - Red - “I come to you in pieces so you can make me whole”

Starlight - Muse - “I'll never let you go if you promise not to fade away”

So Contagious - Acceptance - “I know it's crazy but I'm hoping to take a hold of you”

A Thousand Years - Christina Peri - “I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more”

Push Pull - Purity Ring - “I crept up in you and I wouldn’t let go”

Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls - “You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be and I don't want to go home right now”

Mountain Sound - Of Monsters and Men - “Alone we traveled on with nothing but a shadow”

Corrupt - Depeche Mode - “Soon you'll be crying and wishing you dreamt me”

[fivefeetfear]

Chp 3

I am so happy you guys love the story! Thank you for all your support!

..........................................................

It was nearly 1 o'clock pm and (Y/N) stood nervously in the crowd of her students. They all stood in a circle as they had a dance battle with one another as the speakers shook the room. Some did solo routines and others did groups, it was all in good competitive fun. Class ended earlier than expected since (Y/N) kinda breezed through the lesson completely thrilled to see the shy gem again! So her pupils decided to have a bit of fun before calling it a day. (Y/N) watched the entrances of the classroom waiting to spot Spinel. She couldn't get that cute gem out of her mind all day! With her spiky ponytails and big ol eyes! And the accent! Oh goodness, the accent! It made her very gem melt! The short gem dazed off as she fiddles with the ends of her locks, happily daydreaming.

"Ms. (Y/N) why don't you join in on the fun." A pink emerald student asked.

"Yeah! Show them how it's done!" A yellow sapphire encourages. (Y/N) shifts her (E/C) eyes to the two gems and flashes them an apologetic smile.

"Not today." She declines as she looked back to the time; three more minutes. The two students shrug as they went back to join the fun.

"Oh please, you’ll be on the floor once that spinel walks right through the door. You are sooooo predictable (Y/N)." Amber comments with a playful smirk on her face. (Y/N) playfully scowls the beefy gem as she crosses her arms over her chest taking a confident stance.

"For your information, I am not!" she sass while she walked to the enormous mirror that took up the front of the classroom and readjusted her hair. She put it in an updo to keep the locks out of her face while she was teaching her class. The curvy gem eyes scan over her outfit to make sure she looked presentable for her guest. She wore a loose shirt that showed her bando bra from the sides, cute shorts paired with some simple dancing shoes.

"Then why you trying to look cute for?" Amber quips making the short gem rolls her eyes.

"I am not, this is how I always dress." She informs.

"Mhm, I'd say your shorts are a bit shorter than your usual pair. I can almost see your-." (Y/N) whines loudly as she threw her head back. Goodness, she hated being called out especially by Amber. She wouldn’t stop bothering her until she gave up.

"Fine! I'm showing off a bit, sue me!" she conceded with her cheeks puffed out childishly. Amber chuckle as she places her hands on her hips and glances down at her friend.

"Well then, I would suggest you get a move on to the dance floor and show that spinel what she is working with because she is here." (Y/N) eyes widen as she looked at the mirror to the front door and sure enough, Spinel and Steven were here. (Y/N) felt her gem glowing on the back of her neck seeing how cute Spinel looked. She adored two low pigtails with a dark pink snapback placed on backward; a baggy magenta sweater and fitted black pants matched with dark pink sneakers. The (Y/G) chest tighten as she took in her appearance, oh goodness she so damn cute! The poor thing looked so nervous as she spoke with Steven with concern written all over her face. Oh, how she wanted to go up to her and just hug the poor girl. But her ego wouldn't allow her.

Snapping back to reality, (Y/N) held her head high as she walked into the middle of the dance floor ready to work her magic. She could hear Amber mumble "predictable" under her breath as she followed the small gem.

......

Spinel and Steven made it to the dance studio right on time, and as soon as they enter the room Spinel felt completely insecure. She cast her eyes over to Steven with her head low as she shoves her hands into the pockets of the hoodie.

"Are you sure I look ok? Do you think it's too much?" She asked Steven as she looked down at her new sneakers. Amethyst had styled her today and she felt completely comfortable and herself in it, but it was still taking her time to adjust to the new look.

"You look great! Don't worry about it. Now let's find (Y/N)." Steven hums as he looked over at the crowd of gems and humans cheering, he saw Amber waving them over. The curly-headed teen instantly grabbed Spinel's hand rushing through the crowd reaching the orange gem.

"Hey, Amber, where's (Y/N)?" The human boy asked. Amber simply points over to the dance floor with a cocky smirk. Both Steven and Spinel followed the direction and sure enough, there was (Y/N) dancing to the fast tempo of the song. The pink gem held her breath as she watched the short gem dance so...so....she couldn’t find words for it! Well, she could, but it just made her cheeks hot from embarrassment at the thought of them. Magenta eyes watched as the short gem move her hips in the same way that spellbound her yesterday. (Y/N) was moving fast, her steps are carefully and coordinately placed as she moved to the upbeat rhythm. She bends and sways her body in such a way that made Spinel mind wander. Amber glanced down at the Spinel and smirk as the pink gem drooled over her friend. It was so obvious she had a huge crush on the (Y/G).

(Y/N) felt her body temperature rises when she spots the vividly colored gem in the front of the crowd watching her. This only motivated her to keep going as she turned up the heat. (Y/N) calculated the space behind her before she did three backflips in a row; she bent backwards. She then brings her legs up in the air, her shirt slid down showing off her stomach and back as she positioned herself to a perfect handstand. Spinel's eyebrow arches as she noticed a large spot of discoloration on (Y/N) back. Before Spinel could fully investigate(Y/N) came back down to a straddled split. This made her students go wild as they cheered their teacher on. Poor Spinel nearly stroked out when she saw (Y/N) ass bounce when she landed on the floor; she really could not handle this. Her whole form was on fire and it took so much will power to not pass out right now. Was she fooling herself to believe she had a chance with a gem like (Y/N)?

The (Y/G) female breathes heavily as she was bombarded with praises from her students and friends. Her laughs rings throughout the room causing Spinels chest to tighten. That laugh, it was so beautiful; it sounded like bells. And that smile, it made her stomach fussy inside. The pink gem hopes to one day be the reason behind that smile and her laugher. (Y/N) was able to redirect her student's attention else where as she quickly walks over to Spinel and Steven, she beams a bright toothy grin while she wipes the sweat from her brows.

"Hey, guys how's it going? I didn't even see ya come in." She says coolly. Amber scoffs at her words, which earned a glare from (Y/N).

"Annnyways what's the plan for today?" (Y/N) asks Steven, the boy smiles as he wraps his arm around Spinel's shoulders.

"We are going to take Spins here on a tour of the town! We can show her all the hot spots of Little Homeworld." Steven said joyfully.

"Ok sounds good! Let me change real quick and we can be on our way!" The (G/C) gem states as she walked away to another room to change. Spinel shamelessly watched (Y/N) hips sway as she walks away out of view. The pink gem felt an odd mixture of disgust and satisfaction with herself. Disgusted that she couldn't control her eyes from wandering, but satisfied to have seen more of her beauty. Like her butt is soooooo round. It was hard not to look.

The sound of someone clearing their throat snapped Spinel out of her own head; she looks over at Steven to see him smirking knowingly at her. Spinel frowns as she covered her blazing cheeks with her hands, averting her gaze to the floor embarrassed she was caught.

"Not a word." She mutters as Steven puts his hands up.

"I was only going to say was, I'll be heading out now." Spinel's head whipped up lightning speed to look at her friend with fearful eyes.

"What? You're leaving me? Alone? With her?" She felt herself beginning to panic. She clutches the sleeve of his jacket keeping him close, her eyebrows knitting together. She didn't want him to go! He can't go! Spinel's breathing was coming out rapidly and unevenly as her body felt like it turned into lead.

"Hey, calm down Spins. I'm just going to be gone for a few hours and I'll come back to get you. I'm doing this for you to expand your horizons and meet new people. Besides (Y/N) is really nice." He explains as he places his hands on Spinel's shoulder trying to sooth. She was shaking in fear as she tightens her hold on him.

"B-but what if I m-mess up? Or s-say or d-do something stupid!? What if she d-doesn't like me?! You can't just leave me!" She cried out, anxiety consuming her body. The other gems and humans that were around tried their best to mind their own business, but witnessing Spinel having a meltdown was hard to ignore. Steven shushes her softly as he grabs her hands doing his best to comfort her. Her lower lip quivers as she stares at him with glassy eyes.

"Hey, I believe you won't say or do anything stupid. You are awesome Spinel, and I'm sure (Y/N) is going to love spending time with you." He promised as he slowly let go of the worrying gem.

"If you ever need anything, you can just call me on my cellphone and I'll be back. Can you just at least try?" he asks her softly, Spinel's eyes drifted away from his gaze as she offered a weak nod.

"Good! You'll do great and have fun!" And with that Steven walked out the studio, he gave her one final wave from the wide window before disappearing.

Spinel's arms slowly coiled around herself as she gritted down on her teeth. Would she be ok? Could she do this? Of course not! (Y/N) is a ball of energy and positivity and she is just...herself. How was she supposed to keep up with her? How was she supposed to make herself interesting enough for that perfect gem? Doubt rested heavily on her shoulders as her frown deepens. (Y/N) wouldn't stay with her once she finds out Steven is gone. She could see the disappointment on her face already when she’ll learns about the boy absence. The thought of the (Y/G) eyes filling with regret at spending the day with her made her choke.

"I can't. I-I can't do this." she mutters, her feet began to walk towards the exit of the studio. She swung the door open and steps into the outside world.

"Hey Spinel wait for me!" (Y/N) cries out. The pink gem turns around to see the short girl standing beside her. She wore a cute (F/C) dress with wedges. Her hair is up in a neat ponytail showing off more of her facial features. Spinel instantly noticed the presence of makeup on her face; her lashes look darker and thicker from the mascara. Here lips shiny from the coat of lip-gloss making her lips look plump. It wasn't much and hardly noticeable but Spinel could tell.

"Where are you going? And where’s Steven?" (Y/N) asks as she searched for the half gem boy. Spinel slouches her shoulders as she avoids eye contact with the girl.

"He left." She mutters. Y/N brows quirks up as she stood before the slender gem.

"So it will just be us?" She asks curiously. Spinel nods back in response afraid to speak. (E/C) eyes widen at the news, but her gem grew warm. She was going to be alone with Spinel? She will have this cutie to herself all day? The (C/G) had to remind herself to send a thank you text to the boy. (Y/N) couldn't help the smile that stretched over her face as she nearly bounced in place.

"Ok! Come on there is so much to see!" Spinel was taken by surprise by the short gems enthusiasm as she was yanked by the hand and rushed down the road. What? She actually wants to spend the day with her? Really? Why? The pink gem found herself again in a state of confusion; things weren't connecting for her. Why would she want to hang out with her and be her friend? Spinel understand she has friends, but it took a while for her to accept that it was real. But here is this beautiful gem, nose-diving into a potential friendship with her without a second thought. In addition, Spinel didn't have to do anything to entertain her or beg (Y/N) in any way. If anything it's (Y/N) trying to entertain her! No one has ever done that for her and...and it felt amazing. It felt so damn good that someone else was initiating the friendship first that wasn't herself. This concept was difficult for the pink gem to wrap her head around, she was about to dismiss her own theory. That all quickly changed when (Y/N) flashes a genuine smile, it brought Spinel to tears. She really did want to spend the day with her, she truly did. The fear and doubt that was manifesting insider her core subsided and was replaced with excitement. Spinel tightens her grip on (Y/N) hand as she too started to pick up pace as she raced down the sidewalk with (Y/N).

[theravencawsatmidnight]

1868 London.

Horses and carriages clicked over the cobblestone road. A man was sitting at the front to direct to horses while you sat inside looking impatient. Your father had woken you up rather early to go pick something up for him. Foolish. This is what the servants are for not you. You had money and you loved to use it whenever it benefitted you.

You lived an easy life in a big house with servants and hot meals every night. Everything was handed to you on a silver spoon. The servants called you spoiled but you did not care in the slightest. You could make them disappear whenever you wanted and have a new servant by morning. Your father never tried to marry you off , you could stay home as long as you wanted. The dresses you wore were always beautiful, nothing too extravagant , more on the corset and flowy dress side , perfect for a little privileged girl like you. So why would your loving father send you on such a task instead of sending the help?

The carriage came to a stop and the door was opened for you along with a bow from a gentleman. He helped you out of the carriage and led you inside to a fancy house full of jewelry and swords all in glass cases shining in the sunlight. You stopped a few times to gaze at these fine relics , your fingers creeping up the glass in anticipation

. The man cooed you over to a certain glass case that was covered with a pretty red cloth. He lifted the cloth revealing the priceless gem you had been eyeing . The Lavender Cats Eye, a beauty. No merchant could put a price on such a fine rock. The slit in the middle was a dark purple and seemed to stare straight at you no matter which side you looked at it from. It was often referred to as the ‘Wandering Eye’ for a reason.

The man freed it from the case slowly. A pretty silver chain following it . You clapped, skipped over and pulled your hair to your front so he could put it on you. As soon as it was secure around your neck a purple cat ran into the room jumping on a glass case to stare at you. A disgusted look fell over your face and the man shooed the cat away apologizing immensely for the sudden interruption. You thought nothing of it since you were preoccupied with the gem around your neck glistening in the sun. You would have to thank your father for such a lavish gift upon your return.

•••••••••

The cat zipped all around the carriages in the road disrupting things , spooking the horses. It hopped onto a fruit stand kicking its legs till it got up on the top to jump again onto a nearby roof . It scaled all along the shingles from roof to roof , the cat jumped down to a stone wall to run along that led out of the area into the forest until the stone wall ran out . It slowed to a happy trot taking in the scenery .

It came to an old looking shack with one window in the front with a black cloth sitting in it blowing slightly. The cat nudged the door, scratching it till it opened. It trotted inside yowling watching the man lay back down on the beat up bed to look at a shiny bracelet in his hand. The cat jumped onto the bed making its way to the man's chest and sat down.

“Rr…”

“Yes Ruyo? What did you find for me?”

Ruyo looked all around at the beat up shack , it was all made of wood and stone and a faded grey color. Everything was poor looking except for the bags of gems and jewelry overflowing in the corner.

The man picked up Ruyo holding him in the air and Ruyo yowled again shaking his paws till the man put him down.

“Oh Ruyo, “

“Rrr!!!!”

The man blinked sitting up holding the cat up. “The cat's eye? “

“Rr……”

The man placed the bracelet around the cat's neck and set him down to pet his back in long strokes. “Perfect.. you'll have to show me tomorrow. “. He ran his free hand through his purple hair grimacing and laying back down , his hand moved about the bed finding a ring . He held it up in the shining light admiring its beauty. Ruyo purred deep at his masters strokes along his back , lifting his rear each time his fingers slid over it , his front paws kneading the old bed.

The Lavender Cats Eye.. he had been after that for a while now , him and Ruyo traveled far and wide for it coming up empty. They did gather quite the loot though, making them well off . Tomorrow he would have to see it for himself, the lovely Wandering Eye.

••

You had been woken up early in the morning by one of the girls who tended to you. With a groan you pulled yourself out of bed going straight to your lovely Eye to admire its beauty.

“Young Miss. Are you ever going to wear the item? It's lovely and should be seen by all.”

“Absolutely not. It's priceless, if something happened to my Eye i don't know what I would do.”

The young girl put your bed together, smoothing out the lovely red blanket .”I suppose that's true, Young Miss.” she joined you to admire the Eye for a minute before opening up the windows to let air in. “Young Miss. we have your morning duties today. Please go get ready for them”

She followed your grumpy person out of the bed room, the door clicking shut behind her.

The man inched out of the tree upside down holding his capture scarf that was tied to a branch . He had a clear view of your lavish home. He put his feet together admiring it. Ruyo wiggled out of his scarf climbing up his body to sit on the branch and yowl.

“So its in there? “

“Rr…”

He stretched out his right arm to scratch his scruffy chin thinking on how to go about this.”Ruyo ya know you dont need to hide in my scarf all the time.” He scratched the other side of his chin.

“Rrrrrrrr.”

“No i'm not blaming you for my face itching and no i'm not getting rid of it.” He climbed back up and jumped to the ground pulling his dark hood up. Ruyo jumped down crawling inside his hood to lay down with his tail around his neck , two lavender eyes peeking out under the man's hair.

“Hungry?” He strolled into town, swiping an apple off a stand and eating it, Ruyo growled making the man laugh . “Of course you are. “ he chuckled making his way to the local fish market. On his way there he spotted a WANTED sign and stopped to read it.

Hitoshi Shinso.

Thief.

Reward 800 Pounds.

“The least they could do is get my face right. Ruyo, do I look that old?” He asked, continuing his walk. The cat made a mocking sound and Shinso shook his head smiling.

••

The morning duties were anything but enjoyable, go see the animals, greet the people answering questions. Talk about the affairs of London with the other spoiled women of the town, sipping tea, eating biscuits, laughing while the help looked on in annoyance.

One of your friends was talking about the Cat Thief and you laughed waving your hand. “Pesky creatures, that's why i don't have one”

“No no, y/n he has a cat and they steal.” Warned your friend putting her tea down. She had a blue fancy hat on.

“I hear he's rough looking, scary even” chimed in the one on your left.

“No sir.” Said the blue hat one, touching her face. “What do you mean? “

“He's got scruff on his face!” Yelled the one to your left.

Everyone gasped at the little table and the two servants looked at each other.

“Unkept!! Lives in the dirt!!!” She added. “A mockery of a man!! And his cat is just as dirty! A low life tainting our way of living. A very tall man who looks tired all the time! His clothes are all black and his hands are large and coarse! I heard he takes women and they never come back. He does something to them, hypnotize i think, he knows dark magic”

The servants whispered to each other. “Sounds hot.”

“I'm right there with you “ agreed the other.”Better than living here with these clowns.”

“Want to go shopping ? I need to pick up supper.” Asked the servant to her friend.

“Okay, its better than this.” They left you alone with your gossipy friends. Your friends went on and on but you paid no mind. As if such a man would approach you or your gems.

••

“Emilia?,” asked the tall servant.

“Yes, Veronica?” Asked the short one

“Do you think the missing women are true?” She asked while walking the market . Passing Shinso who was feeding Ruyo some fish in his hood , he noticed the girls and smiled following them.

“I don't think so, magic is mumbo jumbo and not real silly.” Emilia said , stopping by a large ship to admire it. “I'd love to get on a ship and just… go.”

Veronica leaned on her friend holding her hand. “We will , I promise.”

“Why not go now..?” Shinso asked, appearing next to them, still feeding Ruyo. The girls jumped holding each other to see the Cat Theif right next to them, scratching his scruff with his free hand. His gaze traveled to them and Emila stood in front of her friend. “If your planning on taking us away, don't even-“ he held out a little bag to her, dropping it in her hands. Ruyo rubbed on Shinsos neck purring , happy with his meal.

“I've never taken anyone away, I think sending them away is the proper way to say it.”

The girls looked in the bag and fell into each other; money, jewels , rings.

“Get on outta here lost little kitties.” He pat each of their heads.

“Thank you!!!” Emilia cried out.

Veronica grabbed his sleeve looking like she was going to cry. “It's yours. Believe me we have plenty more.” Shinso smirked. “But.. i do have a couple questions about that spoiled woman you work for.. or well, worked for”. Emilia shoved the bag in her dress and held out her hand. “What do you want to know about little miss perfect?”

Shinso grabbed her hand along with Veronicas smiling. Ruyo also rubbed on Shinsos face purring, looking rather pleased.

••

Finally, the day was over and you were free to admire your precious gems in solitude. Veronica and Emila never showed up after tea time and you were forced to make food for yourself, the nerve. With a slam the door to your bed room closed , you stomped to your dresser but you stopped to admire yourself in the mirror. Such a lovely dress. So pink, perfect, the only one of its kind. You turned looking over your shoulder in the mirror smiling.

Ruyo was sitting above your window flicking his tail to give the signal. Shinso scaled the building like it was nothing. Using his scarf to hold and pull himself up he slipped into your room rubbing the back of his neck scanning all around till he saw it. “Pretty Kitty..”

Ruyo yowled and Shinso rolled his eyes going over to the case crouching down to stare at it. “Besides you, Ruyo”

His hand lightly caressed the lovely silver chain moving down to the actual gem . It shined in the setting sun glistening . He had just gotten a good grip on it when the door clicked. He shot up running into the closet leaving the Eye shutting the door pulling his hood up and making himself flat against the wall.

After you admire yourself in the mirror you danced to the dresser to admire the Eye. “Perfect, amazing. All mine.” You rubbed its front and skipped to the closet for a night gown . You opened the closet not even noticing Shinso on the side, his eyes watched you close and as soon as you turned away from him he slipped out past you crouched going to the dresser snatching the Eye. The window was the safe way out, he would be stupid to go through the house. He whistled and Ruyo looked in upside down to see you taking your dress off and Shinso. He motioned his hands and Ruyo stuck out his tongue .

“I feed you fish and this is what i get-“

You turned to see Shinso still crouched , the Eye in his hand. “Oh f.”

“GUARDS!!!!” You yelled covering yourself, falling over.

Shinso shot up running towards you stepping over you getting to the window placing a foot on it. “Well that was easier than i thought.” He looked back grinning and Ruyo jumped into his scarf purring .

You stumbled up to see him in the window , “no!! It's mine!!! “

Shinso tipped his hood to you jumping out the window.

••

Happy birthday Shinso you deserve that Hero spot i love you , you are my heart and soul💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

@squeaky-ducky @maron-k-rh @beelzebabey @celesterdzc18 @jassiejj2118 @alexisntherebb

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Boxing Day Extravaganza boop Jimmy: Okay so we know they're taking the train Jimmy: which appaz only takes like 35 mins so that's nice, not to have to entertain the kids for an age Jimmy: cos everywhere would be busy and hellish given that it's boxing day Janis: nice lil' journey, no one has time to get antsy, probably only need to do one hellish train toilet moment per child lol Jimmy: we can all get arty because Jimothy promised to keep doing the bae daily masterpieces Janis: get a table seat, love that for yous Jimmy: Cass just on her phone 🎧 being antisocial the whole time, love you gal, but the rest of us are living our best lives Jimmy: having hot chocolate and all the left over gingerbread and other festive snacks like 😁 Janis: you'll end up having an alright time in your own tween way don't worry Janis: the plethora of christmas toys that you've simply had to bring Jimmy: maybe you can have a Lisa beach friends moment Janis: that'd be cute, some kids at the arcade or something Jimmy: much more British and chill because we haven't stolen Ian's car for you to cover with 🐚s sadly Janis: I used to make friends on hols, live laugh love with whatever kids have also been dragged to Skerries lol Jimmy: I did not which tells you everything you need to know about how shy I was and how much my sister didn't want us to have other friends when we were kids Janis: gatekeeper trace so rude Janis: okay, so we're getting there, what do we wanna hit, obviously all the beachy cliches we can and also some festive ones Jimmy: gonna have a dip in the sea even though it's freezing af even if you only put your feet in lads Jimmy: the awkward moment when you think you only have a day here so you're gonna cram it all in and then be like oh Janis: don't be babies you can do it Janis: not the actual babies though, you will die Jimmy: stay with Cass even though I'm certain Libi will wanna do it Janis: she will be tryna run lmao Jimmy: soz for that Cass Jimmy: you'll be able to go off with your mates when you meet them, just give jj the chance to be competitive in the sea for a sec Jimmy: obvs gotta win something piss easy in the arcade and then lowkey bankrupt yourself trying to get the same thing for the other kid as always happened to my dad LOL Janis: hohaha yes Janis: also last time we went to an arcade you could get gross sour sweets with the tickets so the kids will be pinging Jimmy: love that Jimmy: Jimothy see how many you can fit in your mouth/eat because I would Janis: changing money into all the 2ps for the penny falls and having the cup for the money fun Jimmy: I bloody love an arcade tbh all that good stuff and beach fun and snow fun because it has to snow more for the trains to stop running since you got there okay Janis: when you realize it's coming down fast hun Janis: and I oop Jimmy: should've tried to leave as soon as the snow started but we're not because we don't wanna Jimmy: even though that phone call to Ian to tell him you aren't coming back will be lovely and put you in a great mood Janis: like you LOVE spending time with your kids ok sir Janis: everyone gonna be lowkey pissed soz weather happens lads Jimmy: we're with all our fave peeps we'll soon cheer up and live our best lives Jimmy: we definitely need there to be some board games in this caravan Jimmy: crack out the uno Janis: its not like you're without shelter and warmth, everyone will be fine, we're all buzzing lbr Janis: yes, all the board games, there'll at least be a telly to watch festive shit on Jimmy: Jimothy will make so much tea, we'll be cosy Janis: you should also eat comfort food like beans on toast ty Jimmy: make a little soft world/den for the bubs Janis: campout in the lounge 'cos you're not gonna wanna share a room alone but also don't wanna be separated so enjoy the double moment Cass Jimmy: winning her over with that Janis: at least that's an excuse if we want to message 'cos no privacy whilst they're out here snuggling Jimmy: true that's a good idea Jimmy: and won't wanna wake them by talking out loud when they're eventually asleep which would probably take forever cos buzzing Janis: my thoughts exactly, and it means we can ref a bit without literally sitting here listing every possible thing ourselves Jimmy: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jimmy: 👍? Janis: can't really accuse you of making it snow Janis: but my foot does feel in danger again 🪓💘 Jimmy: just do 🌧 me Janis: next doodle sorted Janis: get loads of likes Jimmy: blank page would an' all long as I do a #goals caption Janis: show off Janis: not much chance of me giving you #goals muse inspo in day old clothes so you'll have to rely on that clout Jimmy: LITERALLY the opposite, about the muse not my 🎨 Jimmy: and there's every chance if you don't wear any clothes, duh Janis: you still have to think up the words Janis: and 🔥 emoji usage 🙌😩 Jimmy: nowt challenging about that Jimmy: 😍💕or 🤤 Janis: how much chance do you reckon there is of no clothes Janis: meant to be 🥶 to death here Jimmy: depends how 🔥 you reckon I am Janis: 💯 Janis: obviously Jimmy: but I get it, any excuse for a shopping trip, girl Janis: 🤑🛍😍 Janis: you know me so well Jimmy: meant to be working tomorrow, take your chance while there's still 💰 to be after Janis: bummer Janis: it should clear soon, can't have you pining for it too hard, like Jimmy: 🥺☕💔🎻😭 Jimmy: @ my manager before he has chance to miss me Janis: *replace you Janis: 😬😶 Jimmy: 😱😱 Janis: literally who said that, omg Janis: so rude! Jimmy: brb gotta 👻 there to serve some lattes Janis: yeah, you'll need to wife it before you try and leave me with 3 kids Jimmy: weren't no 💍 in the grabbers, looks like we're going shopping after all, babe Janis: missed a trick there, honestly Janis: probably had a ring pop if we'd looked harder Jimmy: Libi'd have that right off you, mate Jimmy: don't even have to jilt you Jimmy: replaced mid-proposal Janis: true Janis: and she needs no more sugar ever again Janis: ❌ Janis: you'll have to just stay put, soz Jimmy: were gonna get you one of them mood rings but it'd give the game away by saying you weren't ALWAYS 😍 Jimmy: only need the one fan 👀 Janis: how dare you doubt my acting abilities Janis: ALWAYS on and ready for my close up Jimmy: that ain't acting it's 🔮 OBVS Janis: magic, talent Janis: all the same to me 🥇👑 Jimmy: alright bighead, go on Janis: go on what? Jimmy: always on, you said Jimmy: impress me with one of your talents Janis: here and now? Jimmy: might be on for a bit weren't what you said Janis: Libi's already seen you partially clothed once Janis: not trying to traumatize them permanently Jimmy: what you bringing me into it for? it's your talent Janis: already shown you how to juggle too Jimmy: there's nowt else? Janis: rude Janis: you made me sing to you as well, if you recall Jimmy: tah for the reminder to send that to Pete Jimmy: he's looking for a lead 🎤 so I've heard Janis: I'd literally kill you Jimmy: shouldn't have to beg you Jimmy: you know that's all I want Janis: 😤 Janis: obviously all I want it to have an ill-fated romance with Pete but you stagemomming me was not part of the dream Jimmy: you look SO cute when you're fuming Jimmy: what's your plan then? Janis: find a totally natural way to drop hints that I'm dead talented over my lattes, duh Janis: writing lyrics in a notebook, being SO cute 🤔 Jimmy: he's got a girlfriend with a normal sized head, but I think he can read so you're probably on to something there with the last bit Janis: normal? Janis: how...exciting Jimmy: you'll find a natural way to drop hints you're after a threesome an' all I'm sure Janis: sounds like a 🥈 move Janis: if I can't get her chucked what is the point Jimmy: perfect for you, that Janis: in no world am I runner-up Janis: fake or otherwise Jimmy: not to her, just to me Janis: you don't do co-workers, you're disqualified Jimmy: you reckon you could get her chucked but I couldn't get him sacked Janis: 😱 Janis: then comfort him, that's evil Janis: okay 💀👑 Jimmy: 😈 Jimmy: haven't seen her for ages, bit of normality for you, that Janis: me? Janis: she's your favourite customer Janis: clearly spend loads of time chatting and plotting Jimmy: that's Tammy, how dare you Jimmy: she orders loads Janis: she needs the energy for her tiktok dances Janis: don't call her fat Jimmy: that were you Jimmy: I would NEVER Janis: nah, 'course not Janis: she's your bestie Jimmy: #BFF Jimmy: but that's you an' all so Jimmy: 💔 for her Janis: I'm not sharing Jimmy: I'm not making you Janis: you know she'd take a bigger piece Jimmy: she'd try but you'd 🥊 her Janis: you want me to fight for you Jimmy: if she's after me, you're gonna have to protect me Janis: alright Janis: guess I don't wanna see you squashed to death Jimmy: get these bandages off first before I need another set Janis: you can go have an ice bath Janis: if you wanna Jimmy: why would I want that? Jimmy: sounds fucking horrible Janis: not because you're being too 🥵 idiot Janis: to help with the swelling Jimmy: 🙄 I got that Janis: you went in the sea Janis: you just have to sit for a bit longer Jimmy: you didn't wanna be left with 3 kids a bit ago Jimmy: make up your mind, Jeanette Janis: later then Janis: just don't scream and wake them up Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 Janis: we'll 👀 Jimmy: yeah and you won't hear nowt Janis: 😏 Janis: did it hurt less today Jimmy: [throws a cushion at her for the 😏 and to distract from having to answer that because probably hurt more if anything all the fun and games they've done today] Janis: [inadvertantly start a pillow fight here which you need to then calm back down] Janis: don't think I didn't notice Jimmy: ? Janis: you didn't answer Jimmy: you reckon I never do Janis: it speaks volumes Janis: you're alright Jimmy: there you go then Janis: if you're alright with it being inferred, yeah Jimmy: dunno about your 🤓🗨 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: I'm alright, leave it out Janis: fine Janis: no hot chocolate for you Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: you're SO rude Janis: yep Janis: that's what you get Jimmy: but Jimmy: we're best mates Janis: maybe Janis: but Bobbys nicer to me so he's getting extra marshmallows Jimmy: it were you going on about how you were gonna be nice to me Jimmy: should've known it were bollocks Janis: you threw the first pillow, mate Jimmy: you chucked out a pisstakey 😏 before that Jimmy: weren't me who started it Janis: not my fault you're known for being well loud Jimmy: isn't it? Jimmy: I'd say it were your fault Janis: don't make me 😏 again Jimmy: alright I'll make you 😳 Janis: I'll blame the ☕s Jimmy: you want a hand? Janis: [throw a LOOK from your kitchen area] Jimmy: [come on over boy and be giving her a LOOK back the entire time obvs] Janis: [do the thing where the kitchen is too small so you're lowkey just in each other's way the whole time in a #mood of a moment like so much more of a hindrance than a help] Jimmy: [and also the thing where you kiss only to break apart as if nothing happened if anyone notices] Janis: [Bobby would be used to you having a gf about as the last one moved herself in but Libi is not so she'd be the kind of kid to be like UMMMMMMM] Jimmy: [Oh Libi you are such an icon] Janis: [just like why you kissing are you boyfriend and girlfriend, Janis like shh bitch] Jimmy: [Jimothy's turn to be 😏 irl] Janis: [when you can't be like NO 'cos how confusing for the kids but you're like not gonna confess my love gal, hush, Libi is so gonna try and smooch Bobby watch out boy] Jimmy: [so here for that adorableness tbh] Janis: [when lil kids are like this is my boyfriend lmao] Janis: you've been replaced now Janis: how does it feel 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻😭😭😭 Janis: that's what you get Janis: dumping me mid proposal Jimmy: you keep saying that Jimmy: but from here I ain't proposed yet Janis: don't let on Janis: she'll be raging Jimmy: I'll take her with me tomorrow when I go pick the 💍 Jimmy: get her back on side Janis: got a plan for everything, you Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: wait until its later in the year and I'm jonesing for more 🎁 again Jimmy: no need, you can have owt you want whenever you want it Jimmy: there's the plan, like Janis: well goals 😍😍 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: if nothing else Janis: plenty of 🌨 to play with tomorrow Jimmy: I do take requests Jimmy: have a 💭 what ⛄ you want Janis: well you are pretty skilled Janis: have to think of something challenging Jimmy: you've got all night Janis: if they ever go to sleep Jimmy: you'll have to read them a long boring story Janis: ❌ voices ❌ personal cameos for you kids Jimmy: get Bill's 👻 in Jimmy: owt of his'll get the job done Janis: 😱😱 so true but you didn't have to go there, babe Jimmy: he can't be fuming that I want you to stay with me, it's his whole brand Janis: 🤞 he don't get too carried away with your 💀 scene now or they'll be having nightmares and then there'll be no time for ⛄ Jimmy: they'll be able to hack it Janis: hack you up into lots of pieces Jimmy: don't matter about me, long as no 🐕s are 💀💀💀 Janis: if nothing he knows his audience Jimmy: I get it, you wanna marry him Janis: pretty sure he's married Janis: bet he's got more than 3 kids as well Jimmy: and what you're gonna let that stop you? doubt that Janis: rude Janis: breaking up Pete and his groupie is one thing Janis: homewrecking is another Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you're 👌 at me now Jimmy: I just did do Jimmy: you'll be chuffed to know I had a look and he has got 3 kids Jimmy: one of them was a twin called Judith, so you might be his daughter Janis: like he had twins or one survived Janis: I'll take being the 💀 one if that's the option Jimmy: the dead one was a lad Janis: ugh Janis: great Janis: more lesbian jokes Jimmy: we've 💀💀💀 them, you're alright Janis: had no idea Judith was such an old name Jimmy: can't say I ain't taught you owt 🤓 Jimmy: know my audience an' all Janis: can't help yourself 🤓 Janis: I reckon Jimmy: you can't help nerd flirting with me, more like Jimmy: about to crack the chess set out, you Janis: chequers, maybe Jimmy: dunno never played Janis: just chess for thick people Janis: less 🤔🤓 more 🥴🤯 Jimmy: still too northern 💔 what were I gonna do make the bits out of 🥔 Janis: don't reckon we've got it in so you're safe Jimmy: what do you wanna do instead? Janis: that's the question Jimmy: answer it then Jimmy: [a LOOK] Janis: [😳] Janis: it's not obvious? Jimmy: might be but it should be just as obvious that I wanna hear it Janis: how badly I want some alone time with you just increased Jimmy: 🚬? Janis: worth a go Jimmy: [do your best to try and escape lads] Janis: [probably enough into our hot chocolate/festive film to give you a few minutes here] Jimmy: [take your chance and leg it] Janis: [lord knows you need the moment Jimmy: [it's deserved you didn't know you'd still be here with all these kids and no privacy whatsoever] Janis: [what a time, at least you don't have to go home and separate 'cos heaven forbid] Jimmy: [that would suck, the time between boxing day and nye is weird enough if you like your fam and aren't a highkey teen in love so] Janis: [hence 'I missed you' like you've not spent forever together at this point and barely been apart] Jimmy: [hence the most genuine smile ever like an adorable nerd because whatever he was expecting her to say was not that but we're here for it] Janis: [when you go to nudge him like shut up but it's more of a feelsy lean and we all know it 'sorry about missing work' 'cos we feel bad even if there's fuck all we can or could do about it] Jimmy: [always gotta give that feelsy lean back regardless of how much it hurts us which gets him thinking about how much work would suck being this injured so we're 😒 which makes it seem like we're really annoyed about missing work even though we know he'd rather be here, hence the shrug he does when he snaps out of said thoughts 'you're my fave job any road, said it before' stop calling her a job sir even if you said that in a more feelsy tone than the words suggest] Janis: ['charming as the first time' and a 🙄 we're probably playing off as more jokey than it is] Jimmy: ['nowt I'd wanna be doing more than pissing about here with you, what could be more charming than that?' maybe if you'd said that in the first place boy instead of calling her a job again] Janis: ['I'm against serving coffee to ungrateful dickheads, it's not much to brag about, like' but a shrug and 😏 'cos we're not fuming over it] Jimmy: ['loads else you could if you wanted to' just telling her she's 🥇 basically there 'but I'll do it if not' casual hypeman is how that sounds but we're just 😍] Jimmy: [when I was asleep a little list of things he likes about her/she could brag about came to me so I'll try and recreate it from memory for us now, first he was obvious and just wrote fit on her arm or wherever but then did a camera and painting mime to emphasise that and tell her she was a good muse before adding mysterious where he wrote fit but then it started getting cute cos he drew little vampire teeth in the air above her smile and a sun on her face which he added the 😁 grin to obvs and then because we were in that general area he wrote nerd in caps on her neck across the biggest lovebite because not only is she such a one but to include nerd flirting then we moved to her throat and he did 🗨 because he likes talking to her and added a 🎵 inside because she's genuinely a good singer then wrote fun before adding the ny as well cos she's also a laugh then he went down to where her abs are and wrote athlete also in caps because DUH and finally on her ribs did the ✔ again because she's been taking care of him and is so kind and nice etc and while he was there got carried away just drawing an elaborate and massive rose for all the love and feels we can't currently express] Jimmy: [there might have been others I'm forgetting but those were definitely the main ones] Janis: [I'm dying boo, we're going to have to be physical because if we aren't speechless then things will be said but it's going to be the most intense and loving ever so we know] Jimmy: [not letting that be interrupted, soz children fend for yourselves for a minute please] Janis: [it's not like we've gone far, you're fine and we need this so we don't die] Jimmy: [my half asleep day dream has killed us all I am soz] Janis: [we're not soz at all, y'all living your best life] Jimmy: [the feels have never been higher] Janis: [are gonna have to force you back in eventually] Jimmy: [if only so y'all don't declare your love in words as well] Janis: [smack on that window children because it's too damn soon hush] Jimmy: [Libi 👀 to see if you're kissing] Janis: [she's gonna tell everyone lmao, tiniest shipper] Jimmy: [I love her with my whole heart] Janis: [mcvickers getting that lowdown they did not ask for when we're back, accidental snitching, at least we're being good-ish lmao] Jimmy: [Fearghal gonna be so amused, Tess will not LOL but yeah you've taken good care of this bub so you win points for that lads] Janis: [can't say fairer than that] Jimmy: [gonna be so heartbreaking when you're not allowed to stay there and see Libi, I could cry] Janis: [we have to make things go so downhill in a sec in a lot of ways, sad times] Jimmy: [winnie will love the drama, but for now go inside and try and get these kids to fall asleep] Janis: [threaten them with separation if they don't start to chill, that'll work] Jimmy: [try not to lol at how horrified they are at the prospect] Janis: 😱💔💀 Jimmy: #relatable for you, that Janis: you wish Jimmy: 🎂 Jimmy: ain't even Jesus' birthday no more Jimmy: can't piggyback off that Janis: sound like a right parent Janis: over before it's even started Jimmy: none of the fans know when mine is, might just have it so you have to get me more 🎁🎁🎁 Janis: that's not fair Janis: you'll get whatevers left in the grabber and that'll be that Janis: you'll have to pretend you won it for me and all or it's not very #goals Jimmy: told you loads of times I don't play fair, Jules 🏆 and that's that Jimmy: spoil me on my fake birthday or you ain't very #goals Janis: well used to bdays not being fair 🎻🎻 Janis: 15 years too late for that to sting Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: hang on, I'll knock you up your own 🎂 Jimmy: [genuinely goes to make her a mug cake in secret, look away children there's none for you bye] Janis: such a 🤓 Janis: [like we're not 😍] Jimmy: So you don't want it? Alright Jimmy: [we know she do] Janis: never said that Janis: [grabby hands like gimme] Jimmy: [🤫 which he always looks hot doing like okay cover me so you don't have to share this with the children] Janis: [🤐 like I got this] Jimmy: [cleaning the kitchen but also sneaky doing this and when it's done gesturing for her to come here so they can swap places and she can sneakily eat it, just know he has 1000% put a little candle it in and lit it with the best lighter ever because every mum has a drawer of shit like that it's simply facts] Janis: [obviously taking a picture of this] Janis: why are you Jimmy: 'cause you're Jimmy: and I just Janis: you're Janis: too nice Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Janis: to me Jimmy: I'm as nice as I wanna be to you Janis: I ain't earnt it Jimmy: when have I said that? Janis: you haven't but it's still true Jimmy: up to me is what it is Janis: you hand out the 🏆 Jimmy: take yours Jimmy: you've been nice to me for ages Jimmy: what were it I said the other day, you'd be telling me to piss off by the end of this one Jimmy: worth a 🏆 that you've not Janis: just in it for the cake Janis: obviously Jimmy: you've done alright then Janis: it's not hard Janis: being nice to you Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say to make a cake Janis: [irl 😏 from the kitchen trying not to lol] Jimmy: didn't know I were fake dating a dickhead like Paul Hollywood Janis: again, you wish Jimmy: no denying that 👴💕 Jimmy: but I'll have to make do with a  🤝 off you for now Janis: [obviously come back over and do said handshake like a nerd and like it's not dangerous to be anywhere near each other rn] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna run his thumb across her lip whether there's any chocolate there or not because the mood we're in and we can pretend it's because it's so secret like can't let the children see the evidence] Janis: [thank god for the solid excuse to snuggle like we're going sleep now come on] Jimmy: [just 👀 at these kids all the damn time like are you asleep yet] Janis: [finally] Janis: I think she's asleep Janis: he's 50/50 Jimmy: [chucks something at him, softly obvs] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: that was a risk Jimmy: [😏 because we love a risk like that] Jimmy: didn't reckon on you as 🙀🙀 Janis: you reckoned right then Janis: good for you Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: don't get carried away Janis: I'm the one that's not scared Jimmy: prove it Janis: [a look that's half well how would you like me to do that and half, I'm thinkin'] Jimmy: [just a LOOK like] Janis: [I like to think you two are at least in the middle 'cos Libi and Bobby wouldn't stop chatting so you had to make a human barrier lol, so that makes it less hard to kiss him now and give him a new quick love bite but also harder to just stop there] Jimmy: [you know you're getting one back for literally no reason whatsoever gal] Janis: [casually trying have a makeout sesh in total silence rn] Jimmy: [we know how impossible that is for either of you so good luck] Janis: [gonna have to stop and pretend you're just being like, see, not scared] Jimmy: [gonna have to go for that ice bath for all the reasons now boy lol] Janis: they're definitely asleep Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: I would've woke up Jimmy: you don't sleep 🧛 Janis: you want me to? Janis: [turning our back like night then] Jimmy: [you know we're rolling you back to face us girl even if it hurts us because have to be hot about everything] Janis: [a noise we're 🤞 just sounds like a sleepy sound 'cos there was no helping it] Jimmy: [kiss her so you don't make any of your own thank you sir, don't need to tempt fate and risk waking these kids up that soon] Janis: [can't even go to another room really 'cos doubt Cass is asleep] Jimmy: [she definitely isn't, soz lads for this struggle] Janis: 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 😳 🥵 Janis: just so you know Jimmy: I did but now it's in writing I've gotta do something about it Janis: 👻 rules or? Jimmy: the only 👻 rule is no touching, don't reckon that'll sort it Janis: remind me why we invited them Jimmy: Ian's a twat, that were mostly it Janis: right Janis: that sounds about right Jimmy: least the 🐕's not here an' all Janis: 🌦 Jimmy: give us a bit more ☀ Janis: that's me and you though Jimmy: what kind of dickhead am I pushing in front of you like that? SO rude Janis: I'm so shy Janis: understated, honestly Jimmy: [when you're trying to stop yourself from loling] Janis: [fake punch him like oi] Janis: about to call you chivalrous but you can forget it now Jimmy: soz you can't have the 🙊 it's a bit too risky for me to use Janis: such an idiot Janis: why'd I invite you again Jimmy: Dunno Jimmy: @ me when you've worked it out Janis: you're too busy to show me? Jimmy: ❌ Jimmy: too something though Jimmy: 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 😳 🥵 Janis: you needed an ice bath anyway Janis: see how far we get without freezing? Janis: [getting up carefully to find 🚬s or a lighter like ?] Jimmy: [doing a help me up style gesture] Janis: [do, do not drop him now and do a throwback by kissing him against the door as you go out] Jimmy: [we love a throwback in this house honey] Janis: [thank god for cigarette breaks even though it will be very cold, we're extra] Jimmy: [your extraness will help keep you warm] Jimmy: [literally reminds me of when Baze had just got together and went on a caravan hol with the fam] Janis: [yes, very that energy, the sneaking is less high stakes but still] Jimmy: [you can go in harder than they could out there because less likely to be caught and less of a problem if you are so you're welcome for that] Janis: [literally we just don't want to wake the kids and make them cranky or cringe Cass out so you're fine lads, go nuts, who is at this caravan park in December, barely anyone] Jimmy: [fill your boots, you're very in love rn] Janis: [lowkey something is gonna get said during we're gonna have to pretend we do not hear lmao] Jimmy: [walking such a tightrope at all times, god bless] Janis: [go pretend to sleep lol] Jimmy: [the amount of things he would have to stop himself from saying when they are, you hush your mouth I swear down] Janis: [hence you ain't allowed, commit to this act please and ty, no more chit chatting] Jimmy: [he's not even allowed to say her name at this point so literally shhhhhh] Janis: [made that rod for your back boo lmao] Jimmy: [no regrets, it will HIT when he does] Jimmy: [you know he's not asleep though cos you know he can't get comfortable thanks for that Ian you dick] Janis: you should go get in a bed to yourself Janis: if he wakes up, I can tell him where you are Jimmy: I'm alright Janis: alright Jimmy: [just being fussy though so clearly isn't] Janis: you're never going to be able to sleep though Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: you're keeping me awake Jimmy: it's you 🗨 Janis: you're 😫😤 Jimmy: but not 😭😭 Janis: I can still hear you Janis: and you keep moving about because you can't get comfortable Jimmy: stop being a dickhead Janis: I'm not Janis: go get comfortable and I'll keep an eye on them both, that's nice Jimmy: how's chucking me out nice? Janis: for the aforementioned reasons Jimmy: for you that I won't be doing your head in Janis: no, so you aren't in as much fucking pain, idiot Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [angrily stomp off for a wee hen] Jimmy: [do your own to that 🛏 when she gets back] Janis: [oh the drama] Janis: thanks Jimmy: there's nowt to stop you 😴 Jimmy: crack on Janis: hardly Janis: there's two small, wriggly children Janis: don't need to be moody about it Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: don't need to go on at me now you've got what you want Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: or 🙄 at me either Janis: alright, shut up then Jimmy: you Janis: it's not my fault Jimmy: never said it were Janis: then stop taking it out on me Janis: do something about it that's actually gonna help you feel better Jimmy: I've not, I've said nowt about it Jimmy: you're the one who can't leave it out Janis: you're in a mood Jimmy: not with you, dickhead Janis: I know that Jimmy: 💭 what it were like when you fucked your ankle up Jimmy: this actually were my own fault Janis: no it ain't Janis: and I'm meant to just ignore it then, alright Janis: won't be doing that, sorry Jimmy: Bollocks, you can't go about being a massive dickhead and expect no pushback Jimmy: but it weren't this bad before Janis: it's too far Janis: you could literally be in hospital and it wouldn't be an overreaction Janis: there's no call for that Jimmy: it ain't you who decides where the line is Jimmy: or where I'll end up Janis: it's a pretty widely agreed upon line Janis: he could ask garda if he wanted to do something about you taking the car Jimmy: we've been mates for a minute, what do you know? Janis: that doesn't have nothing to do with being able to tell he took it too far this time Jimmy: you don't know fuck all about me or what he has or hasn't done Janis: I've seen the state of you, for fuck's sake Janis: I'm not saying shit about previous or implying that it means anything but you can barely breathe right now Jimmy: the state of me is right, what bit of this has owt to do with you? Janis: I'm not going to piss about with you doing stupid shit if you aren't handling your actual Janis: that's what Jimmy: piss off Janis: you Jimmy: who the fuck are you giving me ifs and buts Jimmy: you piss about with me whenever it suits you Janis: fuck this Jimmy: yeah Janis: [hear that door go] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I'll be back when I need to be Jimmy: for all you know you've woke every dickhead up and that's now Jimmy: but alright, keep giving it out like you're so bothered about the state of me and the bollocks I can't do while you leave me here on my own Jimmy: not fake at all Janis: I know it ain't Janis: and if you're gonna leave a 4 year old kid to freak out that'd be on you Janis: I don't have to stay and listen to you, who the fuck are you Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: I didn't slam the door, they're asleep Jimmy: that's alright then Jimmy: forget I said owt Jimmy: top reaction Janis: yeah 'cos you've got fuck all room to talk Janis: be better for you if I did Jimmy: I don't wanna do this Jimmy: talk about it Jimmy: have to fucking handle it or whatever it were that you said Janis: then don't talk about it Janis: it's the bare fucking minimum to not expect me to ignore that you're in pain Jimmy: and what, you think I don't know that? Jimmy: that I wouldn't do a better job of this if I could Janis: apparently, I've got no right so Jimmy: you shouldn't have to hack this an' all Janis: I don't Janis: all I was doing was saying go sleep on a proper bed Jimmy: it's just Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: weird Janis: how is it Jimmy: I said I dunno Jimmy: it's been ages since anyone bothered to say owt worth listening to like that Janis: well Janis: why fuck yourself up more Janis: that's it, it's no deeper than that Jimmy: Why not? Jimmy: that's been the question up to now Janis: if you're gonna self-harm Janis: don't do it in front of me Jimmy: you get to hold the 🔪 my dear, and when you do it'll be a pisstake if you don't go harder than that Janis: I'm not playing right now Jimmy: nor me Jimmy: what I meant were, it don't matter to me what happens to me if it only happens to me Jimmy: very catholic of me, I know Janis: i'm not interested in having no more blood on my hands Jimmy: not bleeding out as of now Jimmy: you're welcome to piss off again if I ever am Janis: 👍 Jimmy: is it? Janis: yep Jimmy: what kind of answer is that? Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: and what kind of question is that an' all? Janis: I'm not in the mood Janis: to talk to you or do this Janis: I'll be back to do my share and then we'll go back as soon as we can Jimmy: just come back now Jimmy: it's freezing Janis: I'm fine Jimmy: I won't be if I have to piss about looking for you Janis: don't Janis: I know where I am, it's not your concern Jimmy: don't make me Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: is right Jimmy: come back and ignore me from here Janis: don't tell me what to do Janis: I'll come back when I'm ready Jimmy: don't be a twat Jimmy: then I won't have to Janis: how far do you reckon I've got in this time Janis: I'm basically outside Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 you Jimmy: might've 🏃 anywhere Janis: it's snowing Janis: in case you'd forgotten Jimmy: that'll be why I want you to come inside Jimmy: tah for recognising it Janis: don't come near me then Jimmy: alright Janis: [show up a few minutes later] Jimmy: [we do be giving her space like she requested thankfully but we have made her a tea because it's our love language and it is cold af out there no lie] Janis: [act like you're not gonna take it for as long as you can but clearly do] Jimmy: [go to your bed sir and give it a while before you come at her again] Jimmy: What did you mean? Janis: about what? Jimmy: you said you don't wanna do this, which bit? Janis: I was talking about tonight Janis: not permanent plans Jimmy: weren't how it sounded Jimmy: you had a plan and it were to piss off back there as soon as Janis: both gotta work Janis: both got kids that don't belong to us Janis: just the obvious next step, really Jimmy: if you wanna pretend that's why, go on, obviously Janis: I'm not pretending shit Jimmy: you don't have to be a massive dickhead to keep it going just 'cause I already were Janis: obviously I don't want to spend no more time with you too Janis: why would I Jimmy: no idea Janis: there you go then Jimmy: alright then Janis: she'll be gutted Jimmy: ? Janis: Libi Jimmy: already spent ages longer here than we were going to Janis: true Jimmy: and she don't need to know that you're #overit and me Janis: makes playdates a bit awkward Jimmy: what's a bit more faking? nowt we haven't done before Janis: right Jimmy: she's less thick than most of our audience but still only a kid Janis: no need to break them up Jimmy: agreed Janis: sorted Jimmy: ✔ Janis: anything else we need to? Jimmy: like what? Janis: dunno Janis: why I asked Jimmy: it's your question, weren't me who asked it Janis: I don't ask questions I know the answer to Janis: as a rule Jimmy: if you had something in mind, say it Janis: there's loads of shit Janis: potentially Janis: mainly how we're finishing this if we are Jimmy: up to you that Jimmy: it's you who wants to Janis: no it isn't Jimmy: weren't me who said I wanna go back or that I dunno why you're worth spending time with Janis: like you've not said shit tonight Janis: and neither of those is saying I want to finish it, anyway Jimmy: what else does not wanting to spend any more time with someone mean? Janis: we've been mates for what, a minute? Janis: we were doing it before then Jimmy: so you just don't wanna be mates? Janis: not worked out so great thus far Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: it were going alright Jimmy: you don't need to chuck it all Jimmy: not for something that weren't about you Janis: you bighead is really showing Jimmy: how is it? Janis: 'chuck it all' Janis: I was fine before you came about, tah Jimmy: you know what I mean Janis: how you say shit matters Jimmy: how I say loads of bollocks Jimmy: you get most of it Janis: I'm dickhead lingual, I guess Jimmy: I'm sorry, alright Jimmy: for what I said when I was in pain, that load of bollocks Janis: if you never phrase it like that again Janis: alright Janis: forget about it Jimmy: deliberately will ALWAYS phrase it like that now, each time Janis: if you could not make a habit of it, be appreciated Jimmy: being a MASSIVE dickhead? bit late for that Janis: I can handle that Janis: taking shit back that you've said Janis: leave off that Jimmy: not a habit I want Jimmy: only fancy the ones that'll 💀💀💀 me which that ain't gonna if it makes you piss off out of it Janis: a deal then? Janis: deal back on, actually Jimmy: if we shake on it Janis: okay Janis: come out then Jimmy: come here then Jimmy: meant to take your advice and stay put like a good lad here 🛏 me Janis: you're awkward how and when it suits you Janis: [but does, obviously] Jimmy: [will shake your hand and pull you into a hug gal] Janis: [the most dramatic hug, definitely forgetting to be careful here soz] Jimmy: [not caring that much because we care more about the bae knowing how soz we are and how many feels we have] Janis: [likewise, the tension got too much and went wrong, as it does, and we're #shooketh] Jimmy: [straight up asking her to stay for a bit because we're in our emotions so we're just saying what we wanna say without thinking about it] Janis: [just nodding 'cos that's all we can do] Jimmy: [making room for her as if this isn't a single bed lol] Janis: [at least you'll remember to be careful again and not hug him so hard, but then you're like oh, 'cos don't want to make it a Thing™ again so 'sorry, if you think I was making it all about me'] Jimmy: [a noise like no that is not what we think because 1. the strength of how much we don't think that 2. what are words and just hugging her for the emphasis] Janis: [shrugs like it's okay but we're not gonna keep going like we don't believe him even if we lowkey don't] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ! 'I think it's more of a headfuck than you signed up for, nowt else'] Janis: [just looking like how do I even explain that that's not your fault and literally the last thing either of us should be concerned about because it does not matter, just shaking our head like nah] Jimmy: [playing with her hair cos it would've had snow on it recently because there is too much we wanna say about our feels and so much we feel like we can't say about our family situation] Janis: ['I CAN handle it' like trust me] Jimmy: ['me an' all' like same even though you lowkey can't] Janis: [soft kiss] Jimmy: [you can have some little kisses too gal like my boo loves] Janis: [just being the most soft] Jimmy: [you gotta] Janis: ['we're alright, yeah?'] Jimmy: [a nod because the emotions are still too high rn and I'm not letting you say shit thank you] Janis: [sigh of relief] Jimmy: [hugging you again cos we don't want you to leave] Janis: [you can stay here lads, the bubs will be alright and you'll hear if they ain't] Jimmy: [snuggle it's what you both need] Janis: [let 'em be for a hot sec] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [what shall we do in the AM?] Jimmy: [make breakfast together for these bubs obvs because all the domestic bliss needed] Janis: [might have to trek to the shop to get supplies, that'll be an adventure] Jimmy: [maybe you can make them some kind of sledge because you're both crafty art hoes] Janis: [I bet there's some kind of tings in a caravan that would work, cannot think what exactly but we know the vibes, get creative] Jimmy: [I wouldn't have the first clue but you two would figure it out and you can get Cass to help she'd be into that] Janis: [as well as snowball fight and snowman making competition, which are 2 points we wanted to hit too] Jimmy: [love that and you can also make snow dogs for these bubs] Jimmy: [the question is should we let them have another night here before we send them back or is that too dangerous] Janis: [I think we should for the danger of it/to prove we can lol] Jimmy: [I'm down, just don't have another argument please] Janis: [hohaha, be good] Jimmy: [I have faith in you] Janis: [the only thing I've said you've done is baking/crafts so apart from that enjoy your snow/beach funtimes, you should also get chips for dinner, obvs] Jimmy: [yeah I'm trying to think if there's anything else they should do] Janis: [there's potential the kids have said more? because this is a whole long weekend and they don't know/care not to so, that's potentially something we need to know] Jimmy: [oh that's a good idea, is there any tea you want spilled] Janis: [hmm, she'd probably just KEEP talking about her parents like all the things she's been told about Edie specifically, so all that tea, just more than we've got out so far] Jimmy: [likewise can picture Bobby really driving home the point that he doesn't have a mum and like what he remembers about her being basically nothing so it'd be obvious they haven't seen her for ages not just since they moved] Janis: [poor babs, just bonding and JJ are here like and I OOP] Jimmy: [I hope Cass isn't around when you're spilling that tea bub cos she will be fuming] Janis: [that is potentially a thing unless he knows better by now lol] Jimmy: [this boy living his best life with his new bff deal with it Cass] Janis: [soz hen, you'll be hanging with your new mates as much as you can so we're probably fine] Jimmy: [getting all that arcade swag] Janis: [love that we're pretending we don't hear any of this clear drama lmao ly babes] Jimmy: [poor Jimothy having to just sign all this back and forth like] Janis: [I do think for a bit Libi would keep shouting like he'll hear her eventually 'cos she's only little so that'll be amusing/a time just screeching everything lowkey] Jimmy: [that's really pure babe I do stan you] Janis: [people like that's a loud child lollollol] Jimmy: [I hope you're not still shouting when you go home hun, hilarious as that would be] Janis: [mcvickers like lawd, she'll be showing them how to sign what she's learnt like just in case bobby comes round] Jimmy: [which he definitely will at some point, all the playdates forever] Janis: [fully gonna just try and take herself to Jimmy's all the time like no gal] Jimmy: [shows up at his door because they literally live that close to each other everyone like !!!???] Janis: [troublemaker baby] Jimmy: [do so love the edition of her to this lil family unit JJ are making here though, she really does add to it] Janis: [agreed, it's very cute, she'd probably have told him about how Astrid is technically her auntie but like a year younger 'cos that's wild to kids, so gonna get a sense of how messy this fam is lol] Jimmy: [and she doesn't talk either so Libi would be used to having to find ways to communicate with her too even though we know Ro be pretending there's no issue rn] Janis: [exactly dr phil, we all been knew and trying to work around it apart from ro lmao, just giving a lowdown on every auntie she has which would be amusing and probably a lowkey drag for some of y'all ladies, we know Janis and Billie are her faves] Jimmy: [I can wholeheartedly support those faves gal, Billie would always be doing the most for her and Astrid, fuck you Ro you dusty bitch, Bobby would love all this cos they lowkey have no fam] Janis: [take 'em for rides on your fancy wheelz, they'd love that, just like you can come meet them when we get back like okay JJ, all this is happening regardless, soz] Jimmy: [if she was here you'd have a bomb sledge hens she's probably built Libi and Astrid all kinds of things, Bobby will love all of Ali's animals and shit she has too, casual farm moment] Janis: [probably telling you every cats name too, poor Jimothy is gonna need a break lol] Jimmy: [unrelated but related do you think Ali would have space for any horses because I have all that Cass horse content] Janis: [I think it makes sense, I too have some gay horse content, like it wouldn't be a working farm but I think she'd have various farmyard animals just for the household] Jimmy: [yeah it made sense to me too, like your auntie vibes] Janis: [mhmm, and it could've been just land when we inherited it but she's swagged it up now she has more time/the kids aren't bubs etc] Jimmy: [Bobby just asking if they can have a kitten, Jimothy like NO] Janis: [I'm cackling, 'cos Libi like YEAH] Jimmy: [just like okay can we have a chicken/pony/donkey whatever else creatures there are, Jimothy like lawd] Janis: [just shoving the whole barn into your rental home, god bless you tiny fools] Jimmy: [and then Bobby obvs wants to phone Twix and Jimothy is just trying to distract him because we don't wanna phone Ian and he won't play along with this thank you] Janis: [distract y'all with an activity fast] Jimmy: [they could make dog treats, it's not very difficult] Janis: ]that's a good idea boo] Jimmy: [casual gift to these pups] Janis: [they'll enjoy that, kids and dogs, also can have a tea party for the toy pups lol] Jimmy: [so CUTE gonna say that Jimothy draws you a little comic strip or something about these pups kids] Jimmy: [I don't know what daily doodle you're getting today Janis, but something loved up for sure] Janis: [frankly, we're all living today hun] Jimmy: [do you wanna do this night like we did the one before with them chatting again or are we just saying it's a chill loved up vibe?] Janis: [hmm hmm hmm, let's do it, maybe we can be cute] Jimmy: [you start it then gal cos I did before] Janis: [on it sonic] Janis: 🥇🏆💪 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: come on, we bossed it Jimmy: no need to sound surprised Jimmy: just that kind of team Janis: not going to disagree Janis: 🤐 'til they 😴 aside Jimmy: don't wanna fight with you either, you're alright Janis: really? Janis: 🍀 night Jimmy: unless you desperately wanna 🥊 with me, obvs Jimmy: can't turn you down then Janis: I'm gutted, obviously Janis: but I think I'll survive Jimmy: good Jimmy: 💀💀💀 ain't happening til they're 😴 either Janis: that's a promise? Jimmy: depends Janis: ? Jimmy: do you want me to break it or keep it? Jimmy: 'cause they might not be asleep for ages Janis: 😒 Janis: should've laced the hot chocolates, you're right Jimmy: we'll have to go properly on the run if either of them 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I'm in Janis: knew you would be Janis: you can break your promise then Jimmy: round 2 ☕ coming up Janis: 😏 Janis: warn me next time you plan on being so 😍 yeah Jimmy: be loads of warnings Jimmy: never shut me up Janis: just say you aren't up to it, babe Janis: 😶 Jimmy: Why would I lie to you, girl? Janis: well you don't need to shut up on my account Jimmy: I get it, you need 🔊 Janis: needs a big word Jimmy: is it? Janis: don't you think? Jimmy: that's not an answer Janis: I know what I want Janis: you'll have to convince me on need Jimmy: alright Janis: not mad about it if you aren't Jimmy: Why wouldn't I be? Janis: it's been a pretty knackering day being the 😎 brother and translator Jimmy: *standard Jimmy: nowt if not used to all that Janis: alright, show-off Janis: you're 🥇 we get it Jimmy: you've done alright an' all, don't be 💔 Janis: don't worry Janis: not a title I'm after, I know I'm not that good Jimmy: how do you? Janis: I don't do half as much with Libi Janis: or for her Jimmy: she still reckons you're 🥇 I had to translate her going on and on about it Janis: don't act like it was a chore 😘 Jimmy: you just said it were Jimmy: make up your mind, Jules Janis: no I never Jimmy: knackering, I think it were Janis: that's looking after this lot Janis: not hyping me up Janis: that's a privilege, DUH Jimmy: so funny, you Janis: oi Jimmy: what? Jimmy: you wanted a compliment Janis: say it like you mean it, boy Jimmy: [writes it on her how he did the other day] Janis: [try not to lol 'cos we know you ticklish and 😳] Jimmy: [go over it again like look how much I mean this, soz gal] Janis: [just wriggling away like staph] Janis: you're such a pisstake Jimmy: what, you still don't believe me? Janis: I believe you Janis: don't tickle me again or I will have to get you back Janis: been warned Jimmy: [obviously does by writing how? as in how will you get me back?] Janis: ['scuse us for our lols children, I hope you're sleepy enough that this doesn't devolve into an entire group tickle fight lmao] Janis: [but the LOOK will speak for us regardless] Jimmy: [always gonna give you a LOOK back] Janis: [smile at him too, like we can't even help it] Jimmy: [of course you're getting one back too because that kind of thing is infectious but also 😍 because her smile is always cute] Janis: you're fit Jimmy: you Janis: you x2 Jimmy: you 🏆🏆🏆 Janis: you're being very giving with the 🏆s lately Jimmy: and what? Janis: maybe I think I should do more to earn 'em Jimmy: I might reckon you have Janis: I can do better Jimmy: go on then Janis: wait Jimmy: but Janis: blame them Janis: [pisstakey evils at the children] Jimmy: [just mime killing them in all the ways boy] Janis: when we get back Janis: you'll give me some alone time before you go Jimmy: that a question or an order? Janis: a ? would be polite, I guess Jimmy: don't sound like you, that Janis: cheek Jimmy: I'll give you owt you want, since you asked Janis: *nicely Jimmy: you could do better Janis: ['please' in his ear 'cos deserved after the tickling] Jimmy: [bite your lip please sir because we all know that affected you very much but the children don't need to] Janis: [pleased with ourselves dot com] Janis: better? Jimmy: it'll do for now Janis: gutted they're too young to leave in the arcade as well Jimmy: or chuck out in the snow Janis: it is melting a bit Janis: can go back tomorrow Jimmy: 💔 Janis: not saying it to 💔 now Jimmy: 🤞 I ain't gonna start 😭😭 now Janis: you'd never Janis: too 😎 Jimmy: too northern Janis: same Jimmy: SO much in common, us Janis: Does that mean we ain't star-crossed enough? 😱 Jimmy: it'll mean the #haters have to work harder at it Jimmy: Bill's gonna be chuffed to bits with that Janis: true enough Janis: if you're still here when school starts, Lucas is ready and waiting Jimmy: do you reckon he got any new ties for christmas? Janis: from who? the ex Janis: unlikely, that bitch Jimmy: 🎅 DUH Jimmy: bound to be best mates Jimmy: both into having kids on their laps Janis: ugh Janis: 🎅 gonna have snitched about us Jimmy: be about right Jimmy: fucking dickhead Janis: 💔 Janis: no presents no more lift offers Jimmy: only the full orchestra following you round Jimmy: poor baby Janis: tell me about it Janis: gonna be depressing as fuck Jimmy: can't have that Jimmy: you're my ☀ Janis: 🔫 the 🥁 for me Jimmy: what? Janis: don't orchestras have drummers? Janis: 🎹🎻 then Jimmy: bit weird that you went right for him 🎯 Janis: so #notlikeothergirls of me Jimmy: not knowing if he exists Jimmy: might be a copout of you Janis: just meant he ain't the lead singer but yeah Janis: ask Pete Jimmy: can't be, that's you Janis: well I am my own favourite person but no need to spread that about Jimmy: can't do that either, your fav's meant to be me Janis: hang on Janis: I'll post something to that effect Janis: [do] Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [have a little socials flirting sesh to further ramp up the tension that's always there] Janis: [you're always about that kids] Jimmy: ☕? Janis: if you mean tea Janis: I'll 🤮 if I have another hot chocolate Janis: and the gals aren't here to impress Jimmy: 🐕🍪? Janis: fuck off 😏 Jimmy: [IRL 😏] Janis: [just checking him out whilst he makes tea so casually] Jimmy: [will do the lingering touch when he gives it to her cos we're in a rom com] Janis: I get it, you miss work SO much Jimmy: nowt to do with missing you Janis: don't be silly Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: insensitive to suggest we deafen her too? 🤷 Jimmy: she has done every other dickhead Janis: 😂 Janis: only fair Jimmy: [mime some ways you can deafen this poor bub] Janis: [trying not to IRL 😂] Jimmy: [trying not to be 😍 af because she's the cutest] Janis: face'll get stuck like that Jimmy: already stuck as 😒 Janis: exactly Janis: don't ruin it Jimmy: know how much you're into 🥺 though Jimmy: [does it] Janis: [pinching his bottom lip between her finger and thumb like she's so 😒🙄 but there's no hiding the truth hen] Jimmy: [once again running his thumb across her bottom lip because we don't need a reason] Janis: [holding his hand but squeezing it first 'cos must] Jimmy: [drawing a ! on her hand because we get it] Janis: you're Jimmy: [drawing a really slow ? as we give her a LOOK] Janis: [shaking our head, like I can't] Jimmy: [draw a 🗨 like tell me] Janis: all things considered Janis: this has been alright Jimmy: yeah Janis: I mean it Jimmy: me an' all Janis: [looking away 'cos we're so overwhelmed and 🥰] Jimmy: [kiss her because likewise] Janis: [don't hate children] Jimmy: [we know you ship it] Janis: [reminds me, Libi probably saying something so embarrassing about 'when they get married' like gal shut up but never do] Jimmy: [about to sob because they will and you can be a bridesmaid gal even though you'll be a teen by then] Janis: [so nice, 'cos Edie wouldn't have been old enough for a proper one which is sad, at least she'd start going on about hers and Bobby's so y'all don't need to feel too awks lol] Jimmy: [break my heart boo cos yeah they would've been engaged but she was but a child still so no actual wedding for y'all] Janis: [she was only 16 for like 2 months so even if Ali had agreed] Janis: [omg hang on] Janis: [what if she did 'cos like, end of the day, make your own mistakes etc and who is she to say no 'cos Cali lmao but technically Drew could be considered to have 'parental responsibility' if he's been paying which let's say he has, it seems wishy-washy but if he was like NO, 'cos just show up to do the least last minute is such a vibe for him, I think it'd count 'cos you need both parents if you have 2] Jimmy: [I love that and we must because it was like OG Cali vibes to have an underage teen wedding moment] Janis: [like so sorry do not need to be creating drama last minute in your life but also it makes sense, because as much as it's like who tf are you, it'd be conflicting because she's only wanted a dad and for him to care this whole time so] Jimmy: [soz not soz about how happy this makes me and Libi will have that wedding video to go with all the others she has] Janis: [it just makes sense that they'd try, obviously, that Ali would say yes even if she's got the reservations she has, so yeah, anyway, that's not to do with y'all lmao I just had a thought] Jimmy: [gutted this isn't Ali's caravan cos there would've been a whole dressing up box for you bubs if it were] Janis: [you can have a fake wedding when you are home lol] Jimmy: [for now make some paper doll bride and grooms that'll keep you busy] Janis: [burn that evidence, Tess is gonna be horrified, like what's this about ANOTHER teen wedding] Jimmy: [honestly this fam do make me cackle] Janis: [not enough time has passed since ruster getting married at 18 we're all triggered lmao] Jimmy: [would Edie's be before theirs or after? I get so confused] Janis: [hmm, let me think, theirs would be about 34...which is when Libi is born, so yeah, Edie is about 15 so it's the year before, 'cos obviously they get married like RIGHT before they die in 35] Janis: [talk about a YEAR for the fam, hi I'm having a baby @ 14 and hi I'm getting married to my cousin @ 18 oh and I'm also going to get pregnant] Jimmy: [we are so wild I love us] Janis: [if anyone's kids would, it is Alison's but omg, we're shooketh, not to mention we cripple Billie, then the Junior baby drama...no one getting out unscathed] Jimmy: [and now we've got jj triggering everyone and Grace out here about to also think she's a teen mum for a hot sec] Janis: [this is why everyone chats shit about y'all, but imagine the lowkey weird guilt 'cos nothing does happen to the twins really, aside from the obvious, but it's bad enough this all happens in your fam and then everyone won't shut up about it like] Janis: [also Nancy and Ava by that extension 'cos Buster embroils himself in it all and the Chloe and James of it] Jimmy: [that's why Grace is how she is guys, this fam and shit nan ruining her life lowkey] Janis: [when you can't complain 'cos it's like um well Edie's dead and Billie is crippled for life so bye, hence Janis just does as she pleases and is a bitch to everyone 'cos call her a troublemaker and whatever then, like fine, it's better than trying to deal and act like you're #grateful and #blessed] Janis: [and that's all the drama that's yet to come out, oh guys] Jimmy: [I'm gonna go re-read what I said about Jimothy's ex on the school trip because only time she's been mentioned and maybe tone that situation down depending what I've committed to because the cali fam is a LOT] Janis: [I remember the basic vibe was pregnant and with her dad's friend but yeah, go look] Jimmy: [yeah but hopefully I haven't gone in mentioning that so far and we can be like ❌] Janis: [yeah, even if it was just a lad her own age-ish and preggo now, 'cos it may have even been 2 kids and they're only 15 now so] Jimmy: [I think we've got away with implying she's a very messy bitch who has now changed her ways at least somewhat so that's fine because I don't think I've mentioned her in any of the festive convos] Janis: [we'll let you live gal] Jimmy: [anyway we've been derailed] Janis: [truly, y'all want to settle these children down again tah] Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: [get in your little den bubs] Jimmy: *🥱🥱 Jimmy: 🤞🤞 Janis: Ideal Janis: just saying, not going to their wedding Jimmy: we'll be long 💀💀💀 mate, don't worry Janis: not if she makes herself a loo roll veil and has done with it Janis: poor Bobby has had no say in the matter Jimmy: ain't seen him shake his head Janis: such a romantic Jimmy: Dunno where either of 'em get that from Janis: dread to think Jimmy: no need to 💭 about owt that isn't #goals, you're alright Janis: 🤵👰💀🤢 Jimmy: don't fancy the look of your new scale much Janis: 😏 Janis: not a question I'd even fake pop, don't be 😱 Jimmy: not even if every dickhead but me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺?! Jimmy: so 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: even if I had fuck all, you wouldn't be getting half of it Jimmy: keep your 🐕🏃💰🔐 I get it Janis: you don't whore for those tips for nothing, yeah Jimmy: in the job description, that Janis: why else would you apply Jimmy: my ☕🎨 going unappreciated in this lifetime is an #ultimatekink Janis: of course Janis: 💔 fuels your craft Jimmy: 🖋✎🖌🔪🔧🔨🪓 Janis: 🥱 to 🤤 Jimmy: massive scale that one Janis: one time speed is impressive Janis: have it Jimmy: if you ain't bringing up either of us being 🥇 at driving Janis: that aside Janis: 🏃 too Janis: not where my 🧠 was obvs Jimmy: tah for not wanting to piss off Jimmy: mine's not on 🎨 at this very minute so I ain't after the 💔 Janis: 💀💀 Jimmy: ? or ! Janis: bit of both Janis: request and an order Jimmy: come here then Janis: [a look like dare I/do I but also a LOOK obvs] Jimmy: [giving a LOOK back always] Janis: [get snuggled in this den moment best you can without disturbing the kiddos] Jimmy: [being as sneaky as we can cos don't need these kids getting extra about your rom com life again but pulling her into his lap, injury be damned because we miss it] Janis: [missed it too and our expression would say as much] Jimmy: [it's been forever like literally pub crawl was the last time] Janis: [upsetting and rude, frankly] Jimmy: [it really is, excuse you Ian] Janis: [thank god she's skinny if tall, not gonna kill you] Jimmy: [gotta do what we gotta do cos shameless fave thing ever] Janis: [just drawing doodles all over his arm with her finger] Jimmy: [playing with her hair while she does] Janis: [we're happy and that always scares us ah] Jimmy: [likewise, oh lads] Janis: [go on your phone and see about the NYE party you aren't gonna get to go to and show him like] Jimmy: [ooh good idea boo] Janis: [are we saying it's at Mia's or did I imagine that] Jimmy: [I think we did to make it more of a thing that they don't go, because we all know Mia literally never hosts a function like it's only this all year] Janis: [so it would be such a to-do for the flat whites 'cos lord knows you've not got the reps you think you have ladies] Jimmy: [yeah exactly and we know her and Pablo are over/on the rocks so she'd be even more extra about it] Janis: [thankful we miss it tbh] Jimmy: [hard same and not just cos I love the drama] Janis: [its all the drama mick, we know it'll be a terrible party but yes, rn you can plan how you're gonna slay it if you wanna] Jimmy: Go on, how are we topping 🎄 with them? Janis: already done 😇 Janis: so it'll have to be 🌟 Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say 😈 Janis: also a possibility Janis: this party is one of the only way she has of winning + at this point Janis: how do we really ruin it for - Jimmy: where's her dad? be real hell for him, this Janis: some beach in the Caribbean Janis: he couldn't miss that to continue her punishment Janis: 💔 he don't care as much as you thought, babe Jimmy: still probably won't take much to get him back Jimmy: that lass ain't had another go at a party since we fucked up hers Janis: he is with her mother so fuck knows how he manages to have a good time Janis: assumedly it's one giant swingers convention or whatever Janis: true, I wanna do it worse though Janis: more personal, just need to 💭 how Jimmy: what I'm hearing is you want me to 💀💀💀 them for you Janis: like the sound of that Jimmy: so say it and I'll do it Janis: that's how it works, yeah Jimmy: you can have owt you're after from me, you know it works like that Janis: only if we post it Jimmy: you've got my permission to hold my 📷 while I've got the 🔪 Janis: 😍 Janis: can't promise quality Jimmy: what are you promising? Janis: you know what Jimmy: don't get more top quality than 🥇 Janis: whatever you want Janis: that's what I'll give you Jimmy: I just want Janis: go on Jimmy: [kiss her please because I'm not going to let you say something extra right now] Janis: [intense silent kisses ftw rn] Jimmy: [I do hope these children are asleep because silent is not his forte for very long] Janis: [we'll give you that, as Libi has already rinsed you lol] Jimmy: [and keeps spilling all the fam tea] Janis: [gotta let you have something lads or you'll go cray] Jimmy: [and we're ruining it all for you soon] Janis: [ugh shit nan, soz not soz you're getting floored hen] Jimmy: [honestly wish it was worse cos so deserved] Janis: [as if this is the time for you to drag up Caleb's drama, like didn't even mention he had to go and get killed, like ffs] Jimmy: [hopefully Ali will ban you from the gaff because we're all sick of your shit my love] Janis: [we were humouring you to be nice but like, no] Jimmy: [the amount of chances she's already given you through the years, dread to think tbh] Janis: [we all know she gives too many, like she never banned either Caleb or Drew from seeing their kids or being involved, she's not that bitch if she doesn't have to be] Jimmy: [likewise with Joe and Ronnie, nothing if not consistent and I love you gal] Janis: [and ro lbr] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [oh rosaline, this do not be about you though, again, off topic] Jimmy: [I wanna say he's thought of something to ruin this party we don't get to go to because we just wanna give the bae everything she wants but I don't know what] Janis: [we can because as it won't get to come to fruition, we can be vague lol, just kissing him even harder] Jimmy: [how intensely we're doing literally everything rn because the feels are so high] Janis: ['we need to go' when you mean to the bedroom but that just comes out that dramatically lol, obviously we're whispering 'cos if you wake up now lmao] Jimmy: [try not to fall over the obstacle course of all the stuff these children have left everywhere because we all know you're gonna kiss the whole way there because forever a cliche] Janis: [as funny as that would be, one of you is injured and the other has only just recovered so be careful tah] Jimmy: [and you'd be fuming if you got cockblocked rn, we don't need another argument happening between anyone] Janis: [Cass I hope you're out or otherwise entertained 'cos yeah] Jimmy: [maybe you're asleep too tbf because we never get any at home and you've been busy having friends and living your best life] Janis: [let's go with it, we're all content] Jimmy: [hook up to your heart's content lads we'll be sending you back in the morning] Janis: [so you'll be going back 28th, just so we know where we are] Jimmy: [thank god you can work things out properly my boo] Janis: [gives us a few days to do with what we want so that's nice] Jimmy: [is there anything else on the list or have we done it all?] Janis: [the only things we have is Twix being ill and one of Asia's sisters having a bday party, we could do Twix in this period, can't really do a party between xmas and ny even they're not that dumb] Jimmy: [we should do that bday party when she gets back and things are really awkward between them because Bobby can be like I want Libi to come with me because they thing they are in love rn] Janis: [yeah, and they could fuck with Asia and when have they needed much more than a flimsy excuse so] Jimmy: [that was my thought, an excuse to get them back together that isn't just school] Janis: [think that was the plan, we can skip to when they're back if you'd like, don't think this has been that long] Jimmy: [I know we always say that but it shouldn't have actually been that long this time lol] Janis: [we alright, also back home and separated] Janis: everyone's sufficiently sure we haven't permanently damaged the kid here so 🏆 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Ian ain't gonna give me no 🏆 Jimmy: no longer the season Janis: and his nice act was SO convincing Jimmy: IKR Janis: 🙄 if I needed acting lessons Janis: which I don't Jimmy: you're in luck there 'cause my mum'd be the one for it putting up with his bollocks for as long as she bothered Jimmy: but about as likely as him chucking out the welcome wagon for us Janis: Shame Janis: better not tell him about the wedding Janis: 😡 🤬 all 'round Jimmy: the 💰 saver of making it a double might do something about that but with how you feel about sharing Jimmy: it'd be you fuming Janis: look like we'd hired mini-mes Jimmy: bit of a mix up with yours Janis: it happens Janis: get what you pay for 🎻 Jimmy: she's spot on with matching your ☀ personality, babe Jimmy: nowt else matters Janis: low Janis: don't compare me to a toddler 😂 Jimmy: work on her volume 🤏 and no dickhead'll know the difference Janis: you're gonna talk big now I can't do nothing about it Janis: twat Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: doing my bit so you ain't 💔 missing us Janis: very thoughtful Janis: I'll be buzzing to sleep in a proper bed on my own Jimmy: just that kind of twat, me Janis: I know Janis: how many treats he given the dog then? Jimmy: come on, none of us can count that high Jimmy: need you for that Janis: I'll have to come see you then Jimmy: won't let you 😴 heard you about wanting your own bed Janis: it's not that good, honestly Janis: but you know Jimmy: sounded alright to me, might just be the no kid 💭💡 though Janis: yeah Janis: unlucky Janis: least you won't have to make a fort every night Jimmy: depends how 💔😭🎻 he gets missing her Jimmy: might have to do all sorts of bollocks Janis: 😏 Janis: tin can phone might actually work from that distance and with her volume Jimmy: dinner and tonight's crafts ✔ Janis: caravan life makes you so resourceful Jimmy: ⛺️ next? Janis: calm down bear grylls Jimmy: only answer to daddy 🐻 or baby when you INSIST on a compromise Janis: well, baby Janis: imagine the previous 2 nights, in a tent, with no room to hide Jimmy: all of it or just the bits I wanna 💭? Janis: the bits you wanna wouldn't have a lot of hope of repeating, is my point Janis: unless yours is making dog treats was your fave Jimmy: OBVS Janis: dickhead Jimmy: time of my life that were, think about it constant, no room for nowt else but 🐕🍪 Janis: yeah, you do LOVE that dog Janis: fair enough Janis: you two go on your camping holibobs Jimmy: bit rude you're not coming, but alright Janis: no room Jimmy: loads under the ⭐s girl Janis: 🤩 Janis: tents are for pussies Jimmy: it's a yeah now then? Janis: just us? Janis: and the 🐕 Janis: bit unfair to call the kids pussies but probably more unfair to make 'em rough it like that Jimmy: reckon I'll just leave the 🐕 with our kid, so he's not as 💔😭🎻 you reckon he's not 💪😎 Jimmy: it's a 👶 an' all Janis: I never slagged him off Janis: he's alright Janis: just Jimmy: just us Janis: yeah Janis: and all the ⭐s Bill knows the names of Jimmy: he'd have me name them after all the ones I've got for you Janis: why the pricks not invited Jimmy: keep it between us that we're even going Janis: 🗢🔒 Jimmy: til we get there Jimmy: 🗨🔊 then if you want Janis: *need Janis: least we get to christen Mia's bed this party Jimmy: 🤞 we find her diary an' all Janis: can put it on the site Janis: the good bits, anyway Jimmy: trash her room since she was so chuffed the last time Janis: wonder if daddy keeps anything incriminating about the house Jimmy: he'll have an office Jimmy: dickheads who spend every minute at work always do Janis: yeah, I know the sort Janis: and keeping it locked'd be too suspicious Jimmy: piss easy Jimmy: where on the scale'll 💀👑 end up if we christen his desk an' all? Janis: I'd guess 😩 🥺 😢 😭 but we'll see 'cos I know where I am Jimmy: go on Janis: guess first Jimmy: or what? Janis: I won't tell ya Janis: play the game Jimmy: you're 😳 Janis: close Janis: 🤯 you keep having such good ideas Janis: 😣 it ain't tonight Jimmy: might have a 🥇💡 for tonight if you play nicely yourself Janis: how do I do that? Jimmy: do you need me to tell you? Jimmy: done a top job of it without that Janis: might be part of the fun Jimmy: I dunno what fun we're having yet, just that Ian'll have had an easy go of it while we were gone Janis: bet it was well hard for him to act like he gave a shit you was gone for longer Janis: plenty of ways to get to the truth of it Jimmy: can't promise you'll 👀⭐'s but there'll be 🎆🎇 Janis: I'm in Jimmy: we should be out first, dunno why I'm pissing about here when he is to chuck the kids at Janis: there is loads for Bobby to tell him Jimmy: and my sister to go on about an' all Jimmy: and there's this Jimmy: [evidence of whatever carnage Twix has caused] Janis: 🙌 Janis: told you she was on side Jimmy: [evidence of how much she's wilding because they are back and she is lowkey scared of Ian] Jimmy: Dunno about that, doing my head in already, her Janis: n'awh Janis: shut up you 💘 it Jimmy: sounds and feels right fake Janis: then you're used to it Jimmy: you coming out or what? Janis: you reckon that's how Romeo got invited up the balcony mate Jimmy: no hot chocolate included in my invite, what more to do you want, Jules? Jimmy: 🌹? Janis: yeah Janis: love 💀 things Jimmy: chuck me off the balcony then Janis: don't tease me, baby Jimmy: I mean it Janis: where do you wanna meet Jimmy: where are you? Janis: still at my grandparents so Jimmy: Alright, hang on Janis: where do you wanna go Jimmy: where do you? Janis: I don't care Jimmy: it don't matter Janis: yeah Janis: it really don't Jimmy: just don't let Libi see us Janis: I'll come out Janis: she's not taking over again tah Jimmy: I'll warm you up Janis: I'm not scared, remember Jimmy: yeah Janis: but you can Jimmy: if I don't I know what will do Janis: scare me? Jimmy: 🌡 Janis: bighead 😏 Janis: not not true though Jimmy: you and your one track 🧠 sweetheart Janis: Bill ain't invited Janis: don't need to pretend Jimmy: Oi, I've got a 🎁 for you and it ain't just 🍆🎀 Janis: what you done that for Janis: not christmas no more Jimmy: 🎅's for life Jimmy: so's pissing off Ian Janis: oh, go ahead 🍾 Jimmy: [show up boy because she's not far and hand over what you've stolen from Ian's replenished stash and I'm gonna say one of the bottles has a post it stuck to it with today's doodle which is like something to do with them stargazing obvs] Janis: [take the bottle and stick the post it on his head whilst you take a swig 'did he find his car or what' 'cos we left it somewhere then dipped so] Jimmy: [stick it on her back like excuse you it's for you when you take the bottle to take your own swig and then nearly choke cos you're loling because he hasn't because I see no reason why he would have considering where they left it and he knows nothing about Janis or where she lives] Janis: [stick it on the back of your phone or something to keep it safe, shaking our head and smirking because it's funny but also 'what's your long term plan?'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'depends' like it's so casual and we don't think about how much we hate Ian constantly lol] Janis: ['yeah, depends if he takes it to the police' kicking a stone as we walk 'we'd both be seen in it on CCTV' shrugs 'you probably want to return it or make sure someone worse takes it now'] Jimmy: ['he's not that kind of dickhead' because he isn't lbr 'he can have it back before he's in work again, don't need him hanging about having a longer holiday'] Janis: [nods like good 'glad you have a plan' and a look like NEVER had one of them before lollol] Jimmy: [a look like are you because we know we're all thinking about if this plan works and he has to leave] Janis: [shrugging it off 'not getting arrested for you' and quickening our step so we're a beat ahead] Jimmy: [💔 mime before she gets ahead of us and lighting a 🚬 when she is] Janis: ['bit rude' when you're not offered one immediately] Jimmy: [pull her back a step like it was rude of you to walk off and so you can light one for her in a saucy and intimate manner] Janis: [this 😒😣 truly I shan't elaborate] Jimmy: [a look like what even though we know] Janis: [taking the bottle back like that's what] Jimmy: [writes a ? in the condensation on the bottle because we like being annoying] Janis: [rubs it out and uses said condensation to draw a cross on his forehead] Jimmy: [that's cold and ticklish so we gotta retaliate by putting our forehead to hers OBVS even though we literally could have done a million other things] Janis: [the effort of NOT kissing him right now just to prove a point] Jimmy: [when you could just kiss her but you want her to do it so you're just doing the thing where you pull her closer to you even though you're already close af] Janis: [can't even LOOK at him you're that close, just this bottle between 'em] Jimmy: [you can lick your lips though boy and you shall] Janis: [bite your own like how dare you] Jimmy: [pull her hair like how dare YOU and also to bring her even closer] Janis: [noise between a gasp and you know what] Jimmy: [getting one back always] Janis: ['why'd you have to-' but interrupting ourself to kiss him finally] Jimmy: [have an intense makeout sesh for a bit] Janis: [idk where you are randomly in the street tis the season] Jimmy: [they blatantly are and I love that for you] Janis: [always the vibe, always the mood] Jimmy: [trying to think of somewhere you could go even though neither of you actually care] Janis: [oh the places you can't go when you're a teen or lowkey ever, just chillin'] Jimmy: [would love if there was somewhere you could go 'camping' for a little moment but idk] Janis: [there's always the park but yeah literally idk where else] Jimmy: [everywhere else would probably be a trek sadly] Janis: [maybe you can go cali house way, there's ample camping space there but probably not tonight luvs] Jimmy: [put a pin in that dream] Janis: [emotions too high rn] Jimmy: [rn and forever tbh] Janis: [we're not okay but also the best we've been in forever, very confusing lmao] Jimmy: [we know he's in exactly the same boat and that's why you are #fated] Janis: [what a time] Janis: [you should probably have to go properly home at some point tonight gal] Jimmy: [can't avoid it forever we haven't moved you in yet] Janis: [and you have been gone since boxing day so your mother would kinda exist hen] Jimmy: [yeah exactly and you don't hate her as much now she's a sassy single mum so] Janis: [yeah we're not thrilled by it all but we are gonna be running away soon so we'll give you a hot sec fam] Jimmy: [you can't be together always lads it's too dangerous because of all the shit we can't let you say] Janis: [plus Junie hasn't made an appearance this year so you all have to go a bit harder than normal soz] Jimmy: [that whole shitshow is very fresh] Janis: [mhmm, it's very recent lmao, and Caleb and honestly Edie, oh the mess, god sake shit nan why] Jimmy: [we're all struggling, not to mention we said that Carly died around this time of year so Ali really doesn't need this shit nan] Janis: [sad times all round honey] Jimmy: [remind me to decide when Jimothy's mum went missing in terms of that anniversary because I've not] Janis: [noted] Janis: [enjoy that bus gal] Janis: 👋 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🤖 Jimmy: if the driver ain't human, it ain't me you wanna be telling Janis: you with your facebook ma 👍 Janis: the driver is deffo human, can smell him from here Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: might be trying to get a lift to anywhere Janis: not quite the midnight train Jimmy: can't be bothered to wait that long Janis: let me know how anywhere is Jimmy: no need Jimmy: you can have the 👎 now Janis: oh, it is you Janis: 😒 Jimmy: who else were you after? Janis: checking you weren't 🤖 Janis: or 👵 Jimmy: 👴 Jimmy: soz to 💔 you Janis: why would that 💔 me Janis: my type, no Jimmy: you've had to piss off, for a start Janis: I'll survive Janis: have to pick up all the farmyard critters your brother ordered anyway Jimmy: tah for that Janis: you're welcome Janis: 🤠 Jimmy: 🤞 there's no room left for Ian Janis: maybe in the shed Janis: if he's lucky Jimmy: the trampoline's a good shout Janis: 🤔 might be too much fun Jimmy: with his back? Nah mate 🎻🎻 Janis: 😂 Janis: least he doesn't have the 👵 bladder Jimmy: he's welcome that we keep nicking his stash Janis: I appreciated my gift Janis: even if it weren't 🍆🎀 Jimmy: far as street corners go, didn't reckon that one were 💰💰 Janis: I weren't gonna tip you Jimmy: 👵👜💰 Janis: she was not gonna get involved Janis: watch, maybe Jimmy: that's what I said Jimmy: different street maybe Janis: well it's pretty rude you can't perform without a big audience Jimmy: never said that Janis: hmm Jimmy: weren't asking for a review either but alright Janis: not giving one don't worry Jimmy: it's the fans who'll be dead relieved Janis: that we don't hoe it up on street corners? Janis: as they weren't there with 📱s out, probably Jimmy: that and you don't reckon I'm always ready to perform Janis: I'd never say that Jimmy: you did Janis: not to the fans Jimmy: you're alright, not my own biggest one Janis: yeah right Janis: your head is the the only one to maybe rival mine in size Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: dunno which 👵 or 🤖 you're on about Janis: you aren't shy Jimmy: you got a scale for that an' all? Janis: 😶🤐😬🙃😲😁😩🤮 Janis: something like that Jimmy: 👏👏🌹 Janis: I know you're 😁 Janis: but I'll 🤐 Jimmy: you Janis: you reckon? Jimmy: duh Janis: pretty nice Janis: could've gone 😲 Jimmy: still time for you to change my mind if you're that 💔 Janis: you like calling me scared, is all Janis: I'd go for 🙃 Janis: very dead in the eyes Jimmy: 👍's a bit strong Janis: yeah, it's an exclusive list Jimmy: obvs your 👀 are on it Janis: just my eyes? Jimmy: you reckon I never answer questions, what makes you think I'll do that one? Janis: miss 100% the shots you don't take, babe Janis: worth one, like Jimmy: I get it, you miss your coach and teammates Janis: coach is a bit much for the PE teacher who oversees all the girl's teams Janis: but whatever fantasy you're having, go off Jimmy: it's your 💭💕 Janis: fuck off is it Jimmy: SUCH a #lad I only know about 🥤 shots Janis: we're pretending you're a jock now Janis: okay, catching up Janis: 📸❌ Jimmy: Bill will be fuming if we start performing Grease Janis: such a snob Janis: loves the limelight way too much, that one Jimmy: you'll have to picture me in short shorts on your own time Janis: when I'm not thinking about my teammates, I'll give it a 💭💕 Jimmy: brb 💭 about the wrestling bit of the montage 🤼💕 Janis: pervert Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Oi, what happened to whatever fantasy I were having, crack on? Janis: I can't help not being a lesbian Janis: you'll have to keep it in your head, won't you Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: you're such a twat Jimmy: SO complimentary today, you Janis: yeah, warn me if you want to screenshot and I'll bother Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Whatever Janis: talk to you later Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: cool Jimmy: is it? Janis: 'course Janis: I've got nothing to say about this bus, you're chatting shit Jimmy: bit rude Janis: is it? Jimmy: how isn't it? Janis: Some things my one track mind ain't interested in Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: just stop taking the piss Jimmy: alright Janis: sorry, I'm not in the mood Jimmy: What's wrong? Janis: just Janis: the lesbian shit Janis: I know you were joking but don't Jimmy: It's my homoerotic scene not yours, you're not Danny Zuko, soz girl Janis: alright, foreign exchange student Jimmy: I'm not into firing shots that'll actually wound you Jimmy: blanks are 👴 perks Janis: alright Janis: let you off then Jimmy: 🤞? Jimmy: no point you being fuming if I can't see how fit you look Janis: going home is shit Janis: know you already have Jimmy: I've not Janis: you've not? Jimmy: there's every point Ian being fuming and he won't be if I'm about to 🐕🏃 or babysit Janis: where are you gonna go Janis: for the forseeable Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: Come on Janis: I wouldn't have gone yet Janis: if you'd said Jimmy: that'll be why I didn't Janis: you're going to be bored Janis: and cold Jimmy: I'm northern Janis: now I seem like a total dick, right Jimmy: you went 'cause you had to Janis: least all the pubs are open Jimmy: 🍻 Jimmy: I'll find some 👴 mates Janis: yeah Janis: you will, right Janis: or go church, ALWAYS open, you know Jimmy: Jesus IS my BFF Janis: exactly Janis: keep you warm Jimmy: bit of 🙏'll do that Janis: ah, the homoeroticism strikes again Jimmy: nowt warmer than hell fire, babe Janis: I'll see you there still Janis: loads of ways to get in Jimmy: alright, but I only wanna see you if you recreate your angel outfit Janis: 😈 is a fallen angel Janis: he'll allow it Jimmy: chuffed to bits to know he'll be a fan Jimmy: loads of ours won't make it down Janis: they lack the imagination Janis: 💔 Jimmy: what they lack would be a massive list Jimmy: I'd bother telling you what else I like before I did them bulletpoints Janis: 🥧🍺🥔👀 Janis: I can keep up Jimmy: ain't you who's illiterate Janis: welcome for the pictures Janis: you can give me one more, for being nice Jimmy: 🚬 Janis: copout but fine Janis: add it to the list Jimmy: you never said it had to be one you didn't know Janis: didn't say it was a cheat Janis: just a bit...lazy? rude? idk Jimmy: I dunno what emoji I would do for what you smell like without making it weird 1. 👃? 2. 🐽? Janis: can't believe the emoji library has let you down like this Janis: 🐽 is cuter, less creepy, anyway Jimmy: there you go then Janis: I'll add it to the list Janis: I could just use 🚬 for you, that's what you smell like Jimmy: can't say I don't do owt to give you an easier go of it Janis: bit of a stretch to blame/gift your addiction to me but yeah Jimmy: but more romantic Janis: that is what's important here Janis: what do I smell like, now I'm worried Janis: at least you like it Jimmy: if I could narrow it down I'd have done Jimmy: you're not a vape Janis: nicest thing you've ever said to me? 🤔 Janis: 😍 🥰 😘 Jimmy: 😂 Janis: you really are great at this romance shit Jimmy: tah for not being 🍭🍨🍦🧁🍰🎂 it means loads to me an' all Janis: wouldn't be able to live with myself, tbh Jimmy: wouldn't be able to die with you Janis: 😷😷😷 Janis: ruin the ending, 👻 FUMING Jimmy: I'll tell him to take it up with 🚬 for only fucking your sense of taste Janis: there goes that sponsorship Jimmy: *🤐 Janis: I was doing great work saying how fit of a smell it was Janis: ffs Jimmy: Where? Janis: I put it on my list, duh Jimmy: said you could not that you did Janis: there you go then Jimmy: say it then Janis: I like the way you smell too Janis: and there should be a less creepy way to say it, you're right Jimmy: 🗨 can still stay on the list, not that you've even remembered it Janis: I've not forgotten it Janis: just doubt you like it as much as 🥔 for example Jimmy: what's it that I'm doing now? Jimmy: bit rude to doubt me Janis: I'm not a good conversationalist, not something I've got an ego about Jimmy: it's my list, dickhead, not yours Janis: but you're 🗨 about 🗨 to me Jimmy: and I'm 🗨  I rate it Jimmy: you don't get a say in what I like, we're not 👰💍🤵 Janis: I just don't believe you Janis: but that don't matter Jimmy: why? Janis: s'your list, like you said Jimmy: why don't you believe me? Janis: 'cos I never know what to say, I told you Jimmy: so you manage to say the right things without knowing Jimmy: that's 🏆 Janis: only when they've been written for me Jimmy: it were you who said she's a more boring version of you Jimmy: you know that's not when I mean Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: I like talking to you, I said it ages ago and I'm still going on about it now so there's something in that Jimmy: 💀💀💀🐴 Janis: alright, alright Janis: I'll believe you mean it Jimmy: that's 3 things about you you've had off the list, so I will shut up now, like Janis: I'm not giving your 2 IOUs Janis: not fair Jimmy: so just tell me now Janis: I'm 💭 Jimmy: don't hurt yourself Jimmy: I get it's WELL difficult Janis: Shut up Janis: I don't want you accusing me of copying you, is all Janis: I like your voice, that's different from 🗨 Jimmy: 🥇🎤 me Jimmy: goes without 🗨 the accent is an' all Janis: I'm not 🤤 'cos you're English Janis: make me sound like them Janis: but Janis: I like not loads of other cunts have heard it Jimmy: none of 'em have, my customer service voice isn't how I 🗨  or any other dickhead really does Janis: ✨ so special, me Jimmy: my sister and Ian don't wanna talk to me and our kid can't with 🗨 so you're basically it Jimmy: when Libi ain't shouting over you Jimmy: but don't let your head get too massive, can't have you stuck on that 🚍 Janis: 🎈📌 Janis: promise Jimmy: I'd have to swap uniforms and 🚒🪓 you out Jimmy: what a ball ache Janis: more cliche too Janis: no one actually wants to fuck the police Janis: gotta keep it niche Jimmy: go on then, is that your last ✔? Janis: that's only 2, I'm not adding your real/fake persona, soz 👮 Janis: alright, as you went 👀 I'll go 💋 Jimmy: fuming that you'd make me wanna kiss YOU when giving ME a compliment but alright Janis: we're both well kissable, that's fair to say Janis: ask the fans Jimmy: shh I'm 💭 and I don't want any of them twats popping up Janis: 😶 Janis: oops, defeats the point a bit Jimmy: you're alright, I control the 🔊 in my head, I'll put you on proper loud Janis: I'd add that to my list but then you'd owe me Janis: not very 😇 Jimmy: you'll have to be 😈 Janis: your 🔊 then Jimmy: for a start Janis: I'm not going to put my own on my list Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: there can be crossover Jimmy: I already know you like the 🔊 I can get you to, so don't worry if 🚬 were a copout that is Janis: you can't claim eyes forever Janis: or I'll just list all the good stuff now and you'll be well fucked Jimmy: not that long of a 🚍 ride Janis: contrary to what you reckon Janis: not that hard to think up the shit I like Jimmy: do it then Jimmy: I'm not 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: you might float away Janis: if you're still out Jimmy: got nowt else on or anywhere else to be Jimmy: 🎈 sounds decent enough Janis: 🤡 Jimmy: Dunno if I'm chuffed or gutted you didn't go for 🐘 Janis: trust you Jimmy: well you being a better 🤹 ain't going on the list Jimmy: fuming Janis: you're still good with your hands Janis: just different way Janis: 🖕✌️🤟 Jimmy: I Jimmy: wish you were here sounds like we're still at the 🏖 and I'm 🖋 a postcard but Janis: you can draw me one Janis: wish I had something to do that weren't wistfully staring out of windows but Jimmy: 👴 flirting Janis: they are pretty saucy, you know Jimmy: never heard anyone use saucy since before I ⚰👻 so tah for that, Judith Jimmy: racy is another one I miss 👴💔 Jimmy: #thegoodoldcourtingdays Janis: 🏹 to please Janis: and I know my audience Jimmy: 🎯 Janis: 💘 Jimmy: you had me at getting your MASSIVE ankle out Janis: oi, my ankle is perfectly normal now, don't try and trick me into sending you such a scandalous picture Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: proof's in the 📷 you set yourself up for that Janis: 😱 but my reputation! Jimmy: 🦶 size matters, my dear Janis: [obviously sends a picture with all sorts of pisstakey emojis and bants] Janis: dainty, I think you'll find Jimmy: [obviously sends a 😍 af selfie back which isn't even that pisstakey because we are feeling that rn and always] Janis: You're indecent Jimmy: can be if you like Jimmy: there's nobody else at the park Janis: how long do you want my list to be Jimmy: how long is it now? Janis: embarrassingly long Jimmy: can't have that Jimmy: needs to be so long you're past caring about 😳 Janis: what will I do when you fuck of 🎈 Jimmy: come with Janis: alright Janis: we'll work on your list some more and see Jimmy: alright Janis: your ❌🍆s to give thing makes the list easy though Janis: just FYI Jimmy: you're welcome Janis: you probably wanna avoid being that guy at the park though Janis: if I'm there, different vibe Jimmy: you heard there's no 👀 or 👂 Jimmy: you'd have to be the one reporting me Janis: I need you with me too bad to do that Janis: I don't need bars between us as well as distance, like Janis: even Bill didn't go there Jimmy: The antlers are long gone, even if the 🎵's live on in my 🧠 Jimmy: no reindeer games that involve a jailbreak, I promise Janis: Shame Janis: how are you going to top your festive #lewks? Jimmy: 🤔🤔 Jimmy: nowt but full body glitter? Janis: 😏 Janis: sounds itchy Jimmy: 💀👑 not have a pool? 💔🎻🎻 Jimmy: SUCH a letdown Janis: 💡 Janis: have to ask Janis: clog the filters right up Jimmy: hot tub'll do IF IT HAS TO but it don't have the #drama Bill's after Janis: she's definitely got one of them Janis: sti soup that it is 🤢 Jimmy: really painted a picture for me there Jimmy: might just leave the ✨ on so she knows where I've been Janis: imagine how many secretaries have been disappointed in there Janis: not to mention the lads not quite swallowed whole Janis: not going to be unnoticed, I guess Janis: shine on Jimmy: Dunno if I wanna 💭 Jimmy: more tragic than owt Bill's ever written Janis: #bonerkiller Janis: she's 💔🎻🎻 daddy could ever be anything less than 💯 as well Jimmy: 🤞 he sends her a postcard, can't wait to nick that off the fridge Janis: so hot when you're mean Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: not even started yet, baby Jimmy: didn't reckon on being chuffed to bits for her party but Janis: I know Janis: should thank us Janis: no one has ever been this buzzing Jimmy: except those lads when they realised they'd FINALLY 💀💀💀 Janis: you're special, babe Janis: not everyone likes it like you Jimmy: don't put that on your list Jimmy: makes me sound like a twat Janis: if I did it'd make me sound like a psychopath so Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: least we ain't made a list of the other dickheads we want to die Jimmy: length of it would be a nightmare Janis: and we're looking for less attention, not more Janis: school therapist can do one if she wants to chat Jimmy: bit rude she ain't introduced herself to me, been here ages struggling with this bloody paddy language barrier Janis: how dare she not want to start an inappropriate relationship with you Janis: Lucas doing all the heavy lifting for her 😤 Jimmy: am I losing my new boy ✨ or what? 😱 Janis: her cardigan collection means she's either celibate or a massive lesbian so Janis: you're still so ✨ I SWEAR Jimmy: Why not both? #dontlimityourselflove Jimmy: OH THANK GOD Janis: read that as #doityourselflove so, yeah Janis: must be what she's up to in her office, bless Jimmy: Be Lucas in detention an' all Jimmy: will have spent the hol practicing with them new ties so he's ready to go Janis: you better be here Janis: or my trauma is on your hands Jimmy: can't have that Jimmy: plays right into the hands of that gay therapist Jimmy: you don't know it weren't her spreading those rumours Janis: make sense Janis: did turn her down last time Janis: doubt she works commission for every fucked up kid she 'helps' Jimmy: I'll be here to save you, Joanne Janis: Ian don't move fast Janis: I've noticed Jimmy: he's got the 🐕 and 👶s to bring him 🍺🥧🥔 when there's no Sharon, no need to move Janis: so what's your next step Jimmy: body in the boot when I bring the car back? Janis: his or john/jane doe Jimmy: Sharons obvs Janis: duh Janis: we're framing him Janis: okay, where's she hang out Jimmy: depends Janis: when she ain't photocopying things Jimmy: she's always photocopying her tits, full time job, that Jimmy: what it depends on is which Sharon you mean Jimmy: but probably find any of them in the hair dye aisle Janis: all of 'em at once Janis: like confused blonde gazelles Janis: *blonde, with bad roots and tell-tell greys 😱 Janis: have to stack 'em up Jimmy: 😂 Janis: not a list, technically Janis: Sharon x ??? Jimmy: be weird seeing their real names in all the papers Janis: for your dad too Janis: can pin them on his cell wall Jimmy: Dunno what he calls 'em Jimmy: @ him Janis: I'm not sure I need to 💭 Jimmy: 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: bit late for the christmas card Jimmy: crack on drafting your new year's text Janis: Dear future father in law Janis: terrified Jimmy: *daddy in law Janis: 😂 Janis: even better Jimmy: do they not make new years cards? 💔 missing something if it's not 🖋🩸 Janis: you send the text before the rush hun Jimmy: oh tah, I'll make sure our kid gets on the tin can 📞 proper early Janis: yeah, little socialite will be well busy Jimmy: got a wedding to plan if nowt else Janis: don't tell him it's her 4th Jimmy: he'd never stop 😭😭 Jimmy: I'll 📞 him now, let Ian sort that Janis: nursery gets wild, what can she say Jimmy: gutted she can't come to the party 💀👑'd never survive her review Janis: 💔 Janis: have to arrange a play date Janis: 💀👑 n #2'd keel over 🤞 Jimmy: I'll stick in it the group chat Janis: make sure you make it clear there'll be kids there Janis: don't want them to die of excitement before we can do it ourselves Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not playing with them Janis: can't make me Jimmy: could but I won't Jimmy: you're my best mate, they ain't having you Janis: 😳 Janis: can I put that on the list Jimmy: do you want to? Janis: yeah Jimmy: so there's your answer Janis: what emoji means BFFs Jimmy: 🤝? 🤗? Janis: 🤝 Janis: I don't know what that other fucker is doing Jimmy: looks like when dickheads mime they're being kissed, do you know what I mean? Janis: well, we aren't THOSE kind of friends Jimmy: what sort are we? Janis: strictly 🤝 professional Janis: don't get any ideas Janis: so friendzoned Jimmy: alright Janis: 😂 Janis: is it? Jimmy: have to be now you've said, won't it? Janis: not necessarily Janis: what kind of friends do you think we are? Jimmy: I weren't planning to stick a post it on your head Janis: might help you remember my name Jimmy: I know your name, Juliet Jimmy: dunno what you're on about Janis: mhmm Janis: my mistake Jimmy: not as thick as I look, remember Janis: I know Janis: mates, remember Jimmy: 🥇🤝 Janis: ✨ Jimmy: you gonna wear them for the party an' all? Janis: couple outfit!!1 Janis: I don't know Janis: it's gonna be all LBDs and sparkles so Janis: got to do better Jimmy: question is, shopping trip or crafting session? Janis: I've had enough crafting for one holiday Jimmy: thought you were gonna say one life Janis: and 😢 you like that? Janis: not very nice Jimmy: being nice I were about to offer to take you 🛍  after work Janis: yeah? Janis: 😇 boy Jimmy: never said I'd 💰 for owt Jimmy: steady on Janis: duh Janis: don't need money Jimmy: 😈 then Janis: we can pretend Janis: you will be sick of using your customer service 🔊😁 Jimmy: already am Janis: I'll come in a bit early Janis: you can talk to me properly Jimmy: you're being too nice now Janis: that a no? Jimmy: it's a what do you want? Janis: 😈 Jimmy: go on Janis: tell me when you're off and you'll see if I turn up early or on time Jimmy: [a time] Janis: sorted Jimmy: what about about now? Janis: what could I possibly do that was 😈 now Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: you're right, no chance of topping the 🦶📷 Janis: that kind of shameless reverse psychology will always work Janis: hold on Jimmy: don't need to be a school therapist Janis: bringing her up ain't gonna get you anything 🔥 Jimmy: if you can't give me owt 🔥 when you're under it from any bollocks going, what kind of muse are you? 💔 Janis: you get what you give, dickhead Jimmy: [gives her something 🔥🔥 obvs] Janis: [more risque pic back than last time, idk the scale but one up from whatever we did before] Jimmy: alright, I take back what I said Janis: you better Jimmy: ❌ Janis: 👍 Jimmy: should've said you were so 🏆 I'd have offered to lend you my 📷 before the killing spree Janis: I prefer when you take them Jimmy: that going on the list? Janis: I don't know if I'm that comfortable with the spotlight Janis: but you make me look alright Jimmy: nowt to do with me Jimmy: how you look Janis: nah, but I don't immediately wanna hide or flip you off so Janis: take it Jimmy: gutted 🖕💕 Janis: [pic of] Janis: anything for you, dearest Jimmy: 😍😍😍😍 Jimmy: there she is Janis: not been mugged by some random slag Jimmy: bit awkward I were so into it if you were Janis: yeah, she'll be fuming if she ever finds out Jimmy: our secret Janis: fuck off Janis: supposed to say I could never get mugged 'cos I'm so 💪 Jimmy: I dunno how many fake muggers there were, mate Janis: don't matter Janis: GOD Jimmy: were he there an' all? bit rude of him not to help you out Jimmy: such a good catholic lass Janis: he helps those whole help themselves Janis: and you might be friends now but known me longer so he'll definitely let me smack you Jimmy: wouldn't stop you myself, how could I when you're THAT 💪🏆🥇 Janis: 😒 Janis: shush Jimmy: walking wounded, me Jimmy: about to turn into a ⛄ Janis: stop it Janis: focus on finding a decent pub Jimmy: without you as my sat nav? Janis: why'd you let me go dickhead Janis: I'm mad Jimmy: why'd you have to? Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: they'd all survive Janis: I don't care Jimmy: I'll live Janis: yeah Jimmy: don't be pissed off at me Jimmy: 🤗🤗🤗 Janis: do what you like, mate Jimmy: *🥺🥺🥺 Janis: you're so annoying, you know Jimmy: I'll go back when you have, it's 🥇🤝 of me or some bollocks Janis: don't go back 'til you want to Janis: just do something that ain't freezing to death, tah Janis: I get why you don't wanna be there Jimmy: never ain't an option Jimmy: and the park's nice, loads of 🏆💭 Janis: okay Janis: that's true Janis: what you can remember Jimmy: that you offering to fill in the gaps or what? Janis: I don't know what you and don't 💭 Jimmy: could just tell me what you do, for a start Janis: could do Jimmy: so? Janis: we first went there after we ruined that bitch's shit party, yeah Jimmy: with half the other dickheads who left Jimmy: for a bit Janis: right, but no one's got any stamina so then it was just us Jimmy: feels like ages ago Jimmy: but all our 🎨's still here Janis: I remember that Janis: and it pissed it down, like school trip Janis: weird how it wasn't long ago at all, actually Jimmy: 🚫🌨 Janis: not festive but Jimmy: you were 🥶🥶 any road, I remember that Jimmy: had to chuck you a jacket Janis: you insisted, I remember Janis: as per Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: don't think you do 💭 Janis: was one of the many other lads I take there, was it? Jimmy: or all them sonnets Bill's got you bothering with Janis: if that's as far as your 💭 goes Jimmy: if that's as far as my memory goes, what? Janis: you don't remember as much as I do Jimmy: never said it were Janis: go on then Jimmy: I said sorry for being 😒 and having my own personal 🌧 over my head the way I would if you were really pissed off with me now Janis: what a nightmare Janis: making you say sorry all the time Jimmy: *not enough of the time Janis: not the kind of mate I'm trying to be Jimmy: why not? Janis: bit naggy Janis: bit more stepmum energy, that Jimmy: that weren't your reaction how I remember it Jimmy: might just be that the Sharons have done a shit job at giving out the right #energy Janis: I know it weren't Janis: weren't that drunk that night, if at all Jimmy: bit busy sorting that lass out for trying to make you look a twat Janis: n trying to hop on your dick, yeah Jimmy: that's every lass Janis: no need to flex, I've heard, like Jimmy: no need to 1. make it about me when it were about you 2. call me a lightweight Janis: 1. everything is about me, far as you're concerned baby 💕 2. clearly not as your 🧠 so clear Jimmy: clearly were saying you dunno what I do or don't remember a bit ago when you reckon you barely drank owt Janis: maybe you've got a shit memory Janis: not gonna assume nothing Jimmy: 👴💔 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: what? Janis: you're being irritating again Janis: what's your point? Jimmy: how am I? Janis: I don't know, just being pedantic and saying shit you know I'm not saying Jimmy: bollocks Janis: this is what I mean Janis: what's wrong, just come out with it Jimmy: nowt's wrong with me, I dunno what you mean Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: rewind then Janis: before you were using emojis solely to chat Jimmy: before we met's a bit far, Judith Janis: well they ain't my idea Janis: 💃💅🛍😘☕🍸💖 Janis: #inspo Jimmy: I get it, you want full verses Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [writes her a decent poem cos just that bitch] Janis: where'd you steal that from Janis: I can't find it on google Jimmy: you won't Jimmy: it's from my 🧠 Janis: just now? Jimmy: sound more surprised, dickhead Jimmy: you chucked me loads of #inspo Janis: I am, sorry, like Janis: how do you do that Jimmy: what? Janis: say such Janis: 🤯 things Jimmy: just pissing about, me Janis: it's a skill Janis: you could use it for evil Janis: if you wanted Jimmy: have used it for 💰 Jimmy: at my school before Janis: yeah? Janis: 👏 Jimmy: no dickhead's gone above 🥔 prints Jimmy: had to do something to make it less grim Janis: you and your 🎨 temperament Janis: should do it here Janis: 💰s a 💰 Jimmy: massive language barrier Jimmy: don't 🗨 paddy Janis: gutted Janis: I'd help but Janis: need emotions and shit for that Jimmy: to proofread? Janis: yeah Janis: ❓❗ me Jimmy: nowt but going over it with a green 🖋 is it? Janis: depends how 💕 these notes are gonna be Jimmy: depends how 💰 they are Janis: so you'll do homework as well, sick notes? Jimmy: homework's a bit far Jimmy: unless it's about Bill obvs Janis: obvs Janis: you should do it Janis: you piss it out easy, evidenced loads of times Jimmy: know how to piss out a website and ads an' all, tah sir Jimmy: it's like he knew Janis: what a babe Janis: guardian 😇 Janis: don't put it on 💀👑 site, be a dead giveaway Jimmy: she'd have me doing 💌 for daddy Jimmy: talk about piss easy 😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: xoxo 👻 boy Janis: keep it professional, babe Janis: she'll never pay if you sound as thirsty as you do Jimmy: she'd never pay Janis: 😏 cold dead hands Jimmy: would need your 💪 Janis: I'd LOVE to fuck her up Jimmy: not just her, any twat who's 💰 shy Janis: you reckon I'll be 😢? Jimmy: *😁 Janis: exactly Janis: ☁team Jimmy: SUCH a ☀ you Jimmy: 💔 you're not here Janis: how cold are you? Jimmy: how northern am I? Janis: stubborn* Janis: pretty damn stubborn Jimmy: *💪 Jimmy: VERY is right Janis: I won't disagree Janis: everyone's 👀 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: it's rude Jimmy: why? Janis: I can't look at you ALL the time Jimmy: can if you want Janis: can't right now Jimmy: 📷 Janis: but then the second problem becomes the first Jimmy: ? Janis: can't touch you Jimmy: you've got your perfect 💭 recall from when you did Janis: have to do Jimmy: I'll 🏃 Jimmy: race the 🚍 back Janis: very classics Janis: bit after Bill's time but he's down Jimmy: are you? Janis: you know I miss you Jimmy: not what I asked Janis: it'd keep you warm Jimmy: not for long if your mum won't have me through the door Janis: she's got loads of kids, won't notice one more Janis: you can come, if you wanna Jimmy: alright Janis: I want you too Jimmy: then I'll be there in a bit Jimmy: he'll be chuffed to have his car again Janis: yeah Janis: wanna take it for one last ride though Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: I know Janis: redundant Jimmy: I get it, you just wanna hear it from me Janis: naturally Jimmy: it's a yeah, never not a yeah to you Janis: 💀 me Jimmy: as promised Janis: s'all I want Jimmy: so slowly, so painfully Janis: shit Jimmy: if you can't feel the whole 🔪 we'll just have another go Janis: death by a thousand cuts might seem a bit ambitious Janis: but I've got trust in you Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: you are Jimmy: you Janis: but you Jimmy: you heard me Jimmy: you're Janis: you're more Janis: whatever you were going to say Jimmy: that's just you Jimmy: more than I can 🗨 Janis: but you make me feel so Jimmy: I should be fuming that you make me feel owt but there's no room for bollocks like that Janis: yeah Janis: like, I should care, be careful Janis: but I don't and I can't Jimmy: fuck it Jimmy: nowt matters but this Janis: fuck it Janis: if you're alright with it, so am I Jimmy: you're all I want Janis: then I'm yours Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I've got no words for what that felt like Janis: but 👍 not 👎 Janis: yeah? Jimmy: like the twist of a 🔪 Jimmy: 🥇👍 Janis: good Janis: you're welcome Jimmy: I'll never get there if you keep being so Janis: It's hard being quiet when there's so much I could say to make you Janis: but I will Jimmy: it's hard being quiet Janis: you don't have to be, do you? Jimmy: not the one on a packed 🚍 but Janis: I've got loads of practice Jimmy: I'm not putting it on my list but take your 🏆 Janis: you don't have to Janis: when we get to mine, there's places we can be as loud as we want Jimmy: okay Janis: warm, comfortable places Janis: don't worry Jimmy: Oi Janis: I know, you're VERY 💪 and even more Northern Janis: but I want you to feel comfortable before I kill you Jimmy: don't be making out that owt worries me but how fucking far into the middle of nowt you live Janis: I know, it's very inconvenient Janis: miss his car, like Jimmy: why didn't I just come with you? fuck's sake Janis: same reasons I didn't stay with you Jimmy: 🥇💡 us Janis: Don't tell the fans Janis: so disappointed Jimmy: far as they know we're never apart Janis: if only, babes Jimmy: 💭🥺 Janis: I am more bored Janis: when you aren't about Jimmy: that it? Jimmy: the full scale of your feelings Janis: shh Jimmy: you're less 😳 when I'm not about Jimmy: greatest 💔 this town's ever had to go through Janis: if anyone wants to disagree I'll 🥺 at them Jimmy: What kind of dickhead would dare? It's the sort of 🎨 that ain't subjective, soz Janis: you'll have to let 'em know Jimmy: 📢 OI Janis: 😂 just like that Jimmy: know what I'm doing, me Janis: you don't need to tell me Janis: but I am going to need you to show me again, like right fucking now please Jimmy: seeing as you were so polite about it, my dear Jimmy: what can I do for you right fucking now? Janis: just Janis: tell me you feel it too Janis: how much you wish I was there, or you was here Jimmy: I feel it Jimmy: the fans aren't the only dickheads 🤞 we were together all the time Janis: not my fault everyone else is shit Jimmy: 🤏 your fault you're not but Janis: you're not even meant to be here Jimmy: 👻 barely am, it's alright Janis: no it's not Janis: but I don't care Jimmy: it is, we can just Janis: just Jimmy: stick together Janis: yeah Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Janis: makes sense Jimmy: good Jimmy: how much I like having you about is too much of a copout for the list Janis: when you're gone Janis: be more of a test Janis: always about now, like Jimmy: we're going together so ⚰ budge up dickhead Janis: shared enough single beds with you to manage Jimmy: might wanna stretch out a bit for the afterlife Janis: double plot?! 😱🥴 Janis: can only dream Jimmy: 👑 Janis: chuck ourselves off the same bridge, loads of room to swim about Jimmy: 🧜🏽 Janis: know I beat you so bad boxing day but it's okay Janis: can't drown once you're 💀 Jimmy: bollocks did you Jimmy: could've broken all my ribs and I'd still 🏆 Janis: the fact you've brought up your handicap speaks 🔊 Jimmy: of how 💪🥇 I am Janis: 👌 Jimmy: you're done being nice now, I get it Jimmy: 🦈 Janis: you don't like it when I'm nice really Jimmy: don't I? Janis: nah Janis: do you? Jimmy: you reckon you know my ✔ Jimmy: no need to answer Janis: if you wanna be my mate you clearly don't ✔ nice very highly Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: you were talking bollocks when going on about how nice you ALWAYS are to me Janis: by my standards Janis: too nice Janis: but by everyone else's, not winning no 😇🏆 Jimmy: 1. I give out the 🏆 2. no fucker else has any standards around here Janis: what's your verdict then Jimmy: on how nice you are or how much I rate it? Janis: both Jimmy: what's my verdict on you asking questions you know the answer to, more like Janis: 😳 you Jimmy: you Janis: tell me how nice I am, go on 😏 Jimmy: make me Janis: 🥺🥺 Jimmy: it don't work without your 👀 Janis: [🥺 selfie] Jimmy: rude Janis: no, I'm nice Jimmy: it'd be nice if you were here and I could just Janis: what would you do Jimmy: you know what Jimmy: I'm nice Janis: yeah Janis: I can say it Jimmy: might do but you can't take a compliment Janis: psh Jimmy: alright so if I 🗨 nobody's ever been this nice to me, you won't be 😳😳? Janis: maybe a 🤏 but you don't need to know Jimmy: I want to though Jimmy: your 😳 is high on my list Janis: because it makes me look so 🤓 Jimmy: it makes us even Janis: [adorable nerdiness] Jimmy: might not remember when I got on the 🚗 to tell you the story of being a twat but I do and when it happened an' all Jimmy: 😳 before it were 😎 me Jimmy: it's just something you can do, Janet 🏆👏🌹 Jimmy: to be fuming about but I'm not Janis: Then you won't be mad that I do remember Jimmy: 'course you do, you were 🙀 I were gonna fall off Janis: 'scuse me for not wanting to watch you get injured when I could have the pleasure of doing it myself Janis: not Lucas Jimmy: compared to him you're a saint Jimmy: but don't worry I won't let your shit nan know Janis: just not a watch in the cupboard type Janis: I wouldn't bring up the subject, she might assault you or something Jimmy: can't have that or any more time off work 🤐 Janis: 💔 Janis: the world needs it's caffeine and it's eyecandy Janis: can't be selfish like Jimmy: direct your 🎻🎻 @ my manager SO hard done by that I didn't do boxing day he's given me every shite shift going til we're in school Janis: what a prick Janis: what shifts will he be working, I wonder Jimmy: there you go with the questions you know the answers to, girl Jimmy: if it weren't a full time job pissing off Ian, what with him being so easy going and it taking ages to do his head in, I'd add him to the hit list an' all Janis: fair, did do that one for effect, babe Janis: they'll send him off to some over shithole and you'll have a new one in a month, s'what they do with managers, yeah Janis: not worth the 🕖 or 💪 Janis: other* Jimmy: 💔 it ain't what they do with Ian's role within his company Janis: a good sex pest is hard to come by Janis: keeping tight hold, like Jimmy: every other dickhead stopping at stealing 🖋s Jimmy: pisstake Janis: he must be good at whatever the fuck he's actually meant to be doing besides 👀🖐 Janis: try to be selective so we don't have no more famines n shit Jimmy: @iantaylor8 for the Q&A Janis: think I'm 😍 for accounts Janis: no tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're gonna have to offer me something more to pretend to be 😍 for your dad, soz Jimmy: I'm alright for you not fake dating him an' all Janis: good Janis: not seeing how that would EVER make him wanna leave anyway Janis: such a delight Jimmy: when you 💔 him duh Jimmy: but it's still a no tah Janis: think of some way before resorting to that Jimmy: I'd stay before that Janis: I appreciate it Jimmy: me an' all that you don't wanna fuck my dad Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: right Janis: you don't look that alike Jimmy: I'll take that compliment Janis: you can definitely have it Jimmy: that'll be the nicest thing you've ever said to me Jimmy: even if I were about forever Janis: bit sly to challenge me to compliment you loads Janis: 🥰 you Jimmy: 😏 Janis: he's clearly just pissed he's past it, and weren't as 😎 as you to begin with Jimmy: we're all 💔🎻😭 he gave his best years to Debbie when there's loads of Sharons cracking on with doing their roots as we 🗨 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: *😢 I know Janis: yet again, SUCH a shame my ma's a natural blonde Janis: been a widow for ages, give him some tips Jimmy: for her Jimmy: what a bloody catch she's missed out on there Janis: 💔🎻😭 all over again Janis: 'tis the season Jimmy: 🤞 they've taken the mistletoe down in his office Janis: can he hang on 'til NYE Janis: such a lad, it seems unlikely Jimmy: the things that Q&A would be full of if you'd only crack on, girl Janis: I'm naturally curious, don't be rude Jimmy: 💀💀💀😼 Janis: you saw all the fuckers Janis: just more siblings Jimmy: and I had to tell our kid all their names Janis: 😏 Janis: unlucky Jimmy: you gonna stop pissing about and get fluent or what 🤓? Janis: oi Janis: give me a break, it hasn't ACTUALLY been that long, remember Jimmy: I get it, I'm no Mr Lucas 😭😭😭 Janis: who is Janis: 🏆 lifetime achievement best teacher ever Janis: anyway, I like it when you talk, remember Janis: only so much your brother and me need to 🗨 about Jimmy: I were more thinking about you pulling your weight when him and Libi 🗨 but alright Janis: how long did it take to learn it Janis: actually Janis: obviously you didn't before 👶 Jimmy: no different from learning any other, how good's your spanish? Jimmy: it's about how much you bother, have to every day Janis: makes sense, not like it's optional Janis: and my Spanish is pretty shit, Lucas don't teach it 💔 Janis: it's like Portuguese but barely know any of that either, shit nan being predictably shit Jimmy: what about 🍀? Janis: little better Janis: did offer my services in good faith earlier Jimmy: to answer your Q, still get things wrong and he's been about and deaf for ages Jimmy: but it says fluent on the CV, nowt else matters Janis: 👌 Janis: long as you got the basics down, he ain't 💀 any time soon Janis: might try it with my cousin Janis: she don't speak Jimmy: bring her on the playdate long as Libi won't be 💔 Jimmy: our kid could have a teaching 🏆 an' all Janis: her ma probably won't have that Janis: not Libi stealing my phone to come up with the excuses there Jimmy: she the one from church? Janis: 💀 crew's oldest member, yeah Jimmy: next time there's a catholic occasion, we'll steal the kid Jimmy: can't really stop us, her Janis: 🦴 as a weapon? Jimmy: better bring the 🐕 in case Janis: 💡🥇 Janis: alright, I'm down Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: you off that fucking 🚍 yet or what? Janis: how far have you even got Jimmy: if it was real 💕 you'd have got off to 🏃 an' all Jimmy: have met me in the middle Janis: thank god it's fake Janis: don't need us both aimlessly 🏃 about Janis: but I'm basically back now, so I will keep a 👀 out Jimmy: have a 🥃 if you've got owt left from that 🎁 dunno where I am Janis: put your location on so I can santa-track you Janis: know what you and 🐑 are like, you'll get well off track and well distracted Jimmy: nowt to do with your 👀 OBVS Jimmy: [does put his location on] Jimmy: Where am I then? Janis: you can compliment me when you're nearer Janis: well done for being in the right county Janis: 🤔 okay, hang on Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: I'm gonna get your dad's car and come find you Janis: may as well Jimmy: that's how lost I am 😒 Janis: that bus takes long enough Janis: I wanna see you now Jimmy: alright Janis: you didn't fuck up that horrifically Jimmy: bollocks Janis: it's even more classics that you're lost Janis: very goals Janis: really should pick you up on horse but fuck that Jimmy: fake a 🐴 when we tweet it, be alright Janis: as long as you're not feeling let down Jimmy: NEVER Janis: good Janis: so ✨ you Jimmy: I just wanna see you an' all Janis: 👀 at me long as you like Jimmy: very subtle challenge Janis: yeah, 'cos that's all I want Jimmy: need an even longer lens to stalk you from the north Jimmy: make the most of my 😍 dickhead Janis: 😒 Jimmy: what? Janis: nothing 'cept someone just got off at my stop so I might be about to be murdered Jimmy: Oi, I ain't falling for that again Jimmy: you're too 💪🏆🥇 baby, weren't that what you wanted me to say about the mugging? Janis: ugh Janis: so tough being this tough Jimmy: whoever that dickhead is can't 💀💀💀 you Jimmy: not part of the plan Janis: I'll let 'em know you said so Jimmy: 📢 OI Jimmy: my victim, piss off Janis: **fake girlfriend Jimmy: *best mate I've ever had Janis: oi Jimmy: ? Janis: meant to be scaring off weirdos, not being soft Jimmy: just claiming you, Jessica, if you wanted to be pissed on, you should've said Janis: got to draw the line somewhere Jimmy: I'll chuck you a pen Jimmy: can stab that prick with it after Janis: 🧛👅🩸 Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: don't fill up on him Janis: come on Janis: I could never get enough of you Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: Baby Janis: I don't want anyone else Jimmy: control your 🩸 lust for a bit longer, tah very much Jimmy: you can have all mine Janis: you know you've got all of mine Jimmy: hurry up and come here Janis: I am, I swear Jimmy: on what? Janis: my 👀s? Jimmy: both of them? Jimmy: if I have to craft you an eye patch I might as well fucking sign up for Pinterest Jimmy: be that mum Janis: do you have a preference? Janis: bit weird Jimmy: is it? Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: you do not Janis: you're taking the piss now Jimmy: am I? Jimmy: not telling you now, mate Janis: 😣 Jimmy: do you want me to have a favourite one? Janis: that's no sort of answer Jimmy: it's a question for you to answer, so go on Janis: I don't think you do Janis: but I wouldn't be mad if you did Jimmy: it's the one on my left Janis: I'm gonna have to stop to look Janis: and then look at yours when you get here Jimmy: no #hate to the other one Jimmy: it's just Janis: you're just Jimmy: I don't know how to explain Janis: you don't need to Janis: I get it Jimmy: might be able to get your head round it if you have a look Jimmy: no good with words, me Janis: it IS weird but I feel it too Janis: I've 👀 at you enough to have favourites and 👀 things that it feels Janis: 😳 to admit to noticing Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say you'd looked at yourself enough to have a favourite eye Janis: charming 😂 Jimmy: probably don't spread that about, babe Jimmy: I mean, I get it, if I were you'd I'd be in the mirror all the time an' all but Janis: you know what you look like Janis: #bigheadconfirmed Jimmy: I never said I don't look at myself loads in every shiny surface of the CG Jimmy: what else am I gonna 👀 @ the customers?! I'm alright for that Janis: don't blame you Janis: obvs Jimmy: so go on, you said you've got favs Janis: I am not giving you them all Janis: right now Jimmy: one for one Janis: fair enough Janis: your freckles Janis: the ones on your back, especially but all of them Jimmy: you should've said before now, I'd have chucked you a pen for them an' all Jimmy: be a bit rude of me to do it to yours Janis: I can use my hands Janis: not that I scratch with purpose or intent Jimmy: 🎨 Janis: I should 📸 Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I won't get a weird close up of your eye or owt though Janis: do what you like Janis: just leave it off the feed if it ain't #goals Jimmy: whatever we do is #goals Janis: just too good Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: alright, I'm getting near, stay still now Jimmy: 😎🚬 Jimmy: though that does sound like you're 🙀🙀 of sudden movements Janis: just mean don't keep walking and walk right past me/into the headlights tah Jimmy: not how you wanna 💀💀💀 me Jimmy: I'll leave it out Janis: you'll be glad you did Jimmy: never been a letdown, you Janis: don't need to big me up until I prove it Jimmy: I'm only saying you have, not that you don't have to keep doing it Janis: have to? Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: [turn up] Janis: get in Jimmy: [does obvs but not before opening her car door and kissing her because simply must] Janis: [pulling him into the car on your side so you're both in the driver's seat now, having a moment] Jimmy: [fully support that wherever you are rn] Jimmy: [telling her he's missed her in between kisses when he's capable of forming words that don't just come out as sounds, we've probably had to have a few attempts at it lol] Janis: [she's not going to be any better so don't you worry boy, probably just keep saying 'I' and 'you' and not finishing any sentences here] Jimmy: [it's a mood and we all know it, like he's been drinking from Ian's stash but not enough that we can run away with ourselves, he's already said a lot of feelsy shit here, we see you and your fave eye sir] Janis: [we've said a lot without saying it in a way that seems serious af but we know honey we know] Jimmy: [not even doing it deliberately so it hurts more when she runs away, the feels are just naturally high and things be progressing] Janis: [mhmm, damn you shit nan, why you gotta ruin it] Jimmy: [she can't, you'll get back to this lads and beyond it] Janis: [that's true] Janis: [for now, stay in this car as long as you wanna, then go back to the cali gaff and live your best life some more] Jimmy: [soz fam that they can't bear to be separated] Janis: [its lowkey a good thing anyway, you can take the car to work/back to Ian, at least she's at home, like we all know you'll take that] Jimmy: [we all just want you to be happy hen] Janis: [though we are suspish/triggered by you Jimothy, we're not wilding yet Jimmy: [soz about that Jimothy, Liam really did you dirty] Janis: [oh lads, the fact we'll never really know the truth of that whole situ] Jimmy: [we really did something there, I love us] Janis: [do you think anyone would watch the tapes before Libi? 'cos like Ali would wanna but wouldn't but I could make a case that Ruster MIGHT, which would be drama] Jimmy: [oooh yeah good point, I do like the idea of that drama because I am rude] Janis: ['cos they could still come away from it thinking he was just a stalker or whatever we want] Janis: [but it would potentially give some closure before Libi is old enough to watch and understand 'cos they'd clearly love each other] Jimmy: [yeah agreed, I definitely think there's a lot of potential there with what they could take away from viewing all those vids] Janis: [okay, noted for later honeybuns] Janis: [is there anything we wanna vibe for tonight] Jimmy: [I think we've done a lot and this is probably getting long] Janis: [coolio hun]

[rnufharose]

Blood, Sweat, and Tears - Chapter 3

Word Count: 1865

Trigger Warnings: Post Traumatic Stress, references to murder.

︻デ═一 ♥

"It makes no sense."

Sehun was standing in the middle of the lounge, the bright lights of Seoul illuminating the night sky through the wide window of the estate, offering a breathtaking view. He had returned from the service in Icheon, continuing to mull over the information he had received from the old ladies about the murder that had taken place.

"Why target an innocent girl and her grandmother? All I heard was praise from the townspeople," he explained to the older male up front, who hadn't turned his gaze away from the view.

He was shorter than the raven-headed male, his brown hair swept and parted, and he wore a red button-down underneath his black velvety jacket along with slacks, a gold necklace around his neck along with several rings on his fingers, a glass of scotch in his hand. He had a round face, soft cheeks, thick eyebrows, dark eyes that shone with wisdom and patience, and his thin lips were in a tight line.

"Even I'm not sure," he eventually faced Sehun, a frown on his visage. "Our enemy is ruthless. Until we find a connection between them, we can't come to any conclusions. However, that doesn't mean we shouldn't be cautious."

He nodded in agreement, recalling when he witnessed the victim's granddaughter, her vibrancy sucked out of her due to the impromptu arrival of violence in her life. "Junmyeon hyung... what do we do about the girl?"

Before he could answer, Suho placed his glass on the table, pouring some more scotch before bringing the rim of the glass toward his lips, taking a slow sip, "That depends on you. If you want to leave her be, go right ahead. If not, well, you know what happens when you bring an innocent bystander into our world. If she runs away, you'll just have to live with it."

Sehun knew he had a point. Up until now, the girl had led a normal life, and she was now exposed to their world. He didn't want to think about what would happen if he brought her into it, however, he couldn't just leave her be.

He remembered how small she looked, closed off from the rest of the world as she suffered in silence, not once allowing a single tear to fall from her eyes. Sehun still wished he had approached her during the service.

"Don't worry, hyung," he assured Suho. "She won't run away... I'll keep her safe from whoever is trying to harm her. If her Halmeoni was a target, she's most likely one too."

The door creaked, a pair of hushed footsteps hitting the shiny mahogany floor. The third male approach Sehun and Suho, his light brown hair slicked with several messy strands brushing over his right temple and forehead. He had bronze skin and an alluring gaze, along with a tall nose and small full lips. He wore a black pinstriped suit with a lilac-colored button-down underneath, a deep purple ribbon tie pulling the look together.

"Kai!" Suho exclaimed, gesturing for him to come closer. "Gwenchana? Do you need anything?"

"I just came to tell you that another syndicate was spotted trying to take our imports," the second-youngest male spoke. "They'll be at the Han River again tomorrow."

"I see," the older male hummed, looking to his feet as he contemplated his next move. "I want you, Sehun-ah, and Chanyeol-ah to handle this situation tomorrow."

"If you insist," Sehun bowed for a moment, his hands tucked into the slacks of his warm taupe-colored suit. "After we handle our little mob war, I'll go back to protecting her."

︻デ═一 ♥

Haneul was meticulous, folding her clothes and placing them in her suitcase before moving onto her essential toiletries.

The house was silent, yet the crickets never stopped their nightly singing, but there was no singing of her own or the piano to accompany them this time around. She zipped her suitcase closed before standing, moving along to packing anything else she needed or items that would remain in storage.

After the service, Haneul had spent the rest of the day taking down pictures that hung on the wall, disassembling the dining table, putting the furniture and antiques on sale as she mulled over what she would do with the house.

Several cardboard boxes stood in the middle of the living room, some taped shut while others were waiting to be filled. As she sat before one box, Haneul commenced by putting the expensive silverware and plates inside, grabbing a Sharpie marker and naming each box after closing them.

She wouldn't need much once she went to Seoul. The most she could get was a single apartment just for her, and even that would prove to be expensive. For now, she would have to consider having a roommate or even living at The Magic Shop.

Tomorrow morning, the storage truck would come by to take everything before she left for Seoul, and this house will remain empty, haunted by the ghosts of a murder. Haneul exhaled and leaned back against the couch, taking one final look around the living room and moving one of the boxes to the side, traversing toward the kitchen for a glass of water.

She reached for the cupboard, extending her hand and taking a glass while turning on the faucet. Bringing the rim of the glass toward her lip, she heard a bang coming from the wooden frame of the window and she exclaimed with fright, her glass falling from her hand and shattering at her feet.

Her pulse throbbed, clutching her chest as the wind howled, causing the window to rattle, and she could hear the gunshots as they rang in her ears. The scent of blood touched her nostrils, death's chill creating goosebumps on her skin, and Haneul stumbled out of the kitchen, crouching in the corner of the living room and curling up, bringing her knees to her chest. She covered her ears, squeezing her eyes shut as she attempted to block out the sounds of the gun. Her breath hitched, and she buried her face in her knees, hoping that she would just disappear, but the terror continued to rage around her.

Once the howling quieted, she pulled her hands away from her ears, welcoming that silence that surrounded her in its fleeting comfort, more tears cascading down her cheeks.

With a sniffle, Haneul pushed herself up once again, grabbing her coat and slipping her arms through the sleeves. She took her suitcase and checked her wallet, counting her money before pulling her hoodie over her head and finding her sneakers.

She rolled the suitcase toward the front door and slipped the keys under the welcome mat, not once looking back at the house. Gripping the suitcase's handle, she pushed through the door and made her way through the open front yard, opening the gates and walking down the stone steps, the cool spring breeze blowing through the few tresses of hair that weren't covered by her hoodie.

I can't stay here.

︻デ═一 ♥

In the late hours of the night, Ilsung walked down the main street, carrying a carton with two cups of milk tea. The stores were brightly lit, the occasional car driving by while the townspeople walked through the streets, conversing with each other or with those they ran into.

He had promised Haneul he would help her pack her things before she left, but he wasn't thrilled with the prospect of her leaving.

Besides the danger that was evident in the city, there was more to it. Icheon was her home, and her most precious memories remained here, and the thought of her going far away was his biggest fear.

He recalled their time in high school, leaving America to live in Korea, where he had met her, Surin, and Minsoo. The four of them were inseparable, and they made plans to never leave each other. The innocence of adolescence was blissful in the sense that the violence of Seoul could never touch this town.

He recalled the school festivals they attended, spending long hours in Surin's mother's café, volunteering at Minsoo's family clinic, and even visiting Haneul and Soonbok's house to study. He understood that witnessing something so gruesome would make someone leave, but if she allowed them in so they could help her, Haneul could learn to forget what happened and move on eventually.

Running away would only have her live with this trauma.

Ultimately, the blonde male had found the lone street where the houses were lined, the stone steps of the gate before him. He hoped she was doing alright living alone for the night. Ilsung took a deep breath and climbed the stairs, knocking on the gate and calling toward the other side.

"Angel! It's me!" He mustered up a gentle smile. "I brought some bubble tea and I'm here to help you pack!"

There was no answer. Not the sound of the front door opening, those soft, airy footsteps, nor was the lock jingling.

"Haneul?" Ilsung tried again, placing his hand against the gate, only to find it swing open with a low creak. His brown eyes shifted along the front yard, and the lights happened to remain on. "Is she sleeping...?" He muttered. "Why would she forget to lock the gate...?"

He walked toward the front door, taking his shoes off and knocking once, but like the gate, it was already open.

"What the hell?" He questioned, walking inside and setting the bubble tea down. "Angel, you there? You okay?" He wondered as he found the living room, full of closed boxes that would head for the storage center first thing in the morning.

Again, there was no answer.

He searched the kitchen, his widening when he realized there was shattered glass on the floor. Careful not to stab his feet, Ilsung stepped out of the kitchen, walking through the bedroom corridor.

"Where are you?!" He opened the screen doors of Soonbok's room, and he found it was vacant. The last room he checked was Haneul’s, grabbing the doorknob and swinging it open.

The curtains were pulled over the window, the bedsheets were neatly folded, and her bookshelf was still full. The screen doors of her closet were open, and there was not a trace of her clothes anywhere, nor were her cosmetics and toiletries.

He went looking through the house once more, calling out to Haneul frantically, and yet again, her voice hadn't reached his ears. Falling to his knees, Ilsung planted his hands on the wooden planks of the floor, the emptiness of the house stirring anxiety within the pit of his stomach. He thought he could convince her, that maybe she would stay and forget.

That maybe she would stay for him.

However, he didn't know how desperately she wanted to be rid of that gruesome memory. In one capricious moment, the blonde male realized that it was too late.

She had run away.

[lilyevansreyjakku]

Love and power

By lilyevansreyjakku

Part three !

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Hope everyone likes it and I appreciate everyone comments and reblogs ,thanks everyone !

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To start from the beginning which is part one click here in the link👇

And for part two click the link below👇

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Warning ; mention of slavery , fluff , little bit of smut and evil planing ! You have been warn !

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Also the story is long I don't know how much words I'm too lazy to count 😊😊.

Thanks my beautiful people ! Who have been in this adventure from the beginning so far from all my reylo fics I have done so far I like this 😊✌. I'll be posting by parts this story each month I want a to finally be able to finish a fic .i still working at the evermore reylo Victorian fic also .

@bellaren18 @lilia-ula @atchamberlin @glitzescape @grlie-girl @infinitelyblackrose @sushigirlali @nancylovesreylo @reylocalligraphy @michellestarswept @buffshipper8490 @bunilicious @winglessone @reyloisblessed @angelic-hellraiser @shaara-2 @lastmouseleft @xtaketwox @magicaldogs @cleverpudding @princeofdarkness15 @black-eyed-suzannah-q @bisexual-dilemmas @michellestarswept @thebadjediandthegoodsith @leofgyth @ohsnapcrackle @pandoraspocksao3 @reyloarmy @emrys-girlwithasaber @nite0wl29 @generaloftheneworder @reydarcy @empressdarkren @rakefiree @hotty-toddy-rebel-force @rebelrebelreylo @usethehorseluke . @antbee17 @unexpectedreylo . @constellationsinmytea @corariley @orkindofamazing @magicaldogs @practical-or-brave @kinlovecody

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Love and power

@lilyevansreyjakuu

A Reylo au empress and Emperor of the desert

Ben slowly open his eyes as he woke greeting the rays of sun from jakku , he looked at rey who was sleeping peacefully next to him as the rays of sun touched her freckel tint skin . Ben loved so much Rey that he was afraid to lose her to any danger and especially any men within the palace . everyone in the palace whispered in surprise when he stayed for two nights with the empress which never had happened , many questions were asked that day he came back to the men's chambers. Ben was happy he has never felt anything like this before for anyone.

" enjoy your night alderaan ?" . Asked BB

" yes it was magical. " Ben had a smiled that nothing bad that happens today will get him mad or upset .

" will boy stop daydreaming you have lessons to learn ".

" lessons? What for ?"

" reading and writing boy ! So Please let's go before gets late ." Ben began to follow BB with a smiled that spread across his face he never had smiled before .

The empress had called him again that same day during the night when she had came back from her duties . ben asked carefully " we have a visitor today my empress ".

" please, call me rey when your with me alone , you can call me rey ".

" very well rey , we have a visitor in the palace? Who is it ?".

" he is a prince of yavin , I went there with my mother the late empress I've never seen so much green before , especially takodana I loved the forest so amazing " . Rey had food in her mouth Ben watched her carefully she had a good appetite .

" yes, The forest is indeed beautiful , I use to go into the forest back home ".

" In alderaan ? I was there few times with my brother at the meetings of the Royal had " Ben looked up at her , wait did she knew his parents? .

" did you know the queen and king ? "

"Yes , they were the most incredible people I've meet Leia was gentle but also a very strong and very protected of her people. but I never knew her son the prince of alderaan ."

" oh neither did I , as for Leia she was a good queen " . Rey saw Ben joyful mood fade into sadness she was told by phasma that ben was captured in aldaaran during the destruction of the kingdom she was sure he had lost his family during the attack . Rey put her hand on top of his .

" Ben ? "

"Yes ?"

" I'm sorry for speaking about alderaan I shouldn't spoke of it to begin ". Ben moved next her and kiseed her forehead .

" don't rey, I never thought I was going to meet you like this ".

" me neither I was so lonely , if only you knew the things had to witness the thing I went through with my mother ". Ben shh her by putting a finger on her lip .

"Your not alone ". Ben whispered to rey .

"Neither are you ". Rey planeted a kissed on his neck which made Ben gasp ; rey slowly laid on the elegant silk carpet pulling Ben with her , Rey ran her fingers through Ben's jet black locks and kissed him , their tounges moved with so much hunger Rey was under ben while he was on top of her he had his weight on both arms . he gently rubbed himself against rey which ment he wanted her like she wanted him .

Rey felt how Ben spread her walls it took her breath away . " so ...so big ". Rey grab Ben by his biceps , she felt how Ben went in and out from her which was the most incredible sensation . the pace was getting faster and faster she bit his shoulder lightly as Ben moan in pleasure. the only sound that filled the room was the sounds of their breaths and bodies slapping against each other . Rey had reached her climaxed moments later Ben followed her and came deep inside her walls rey moan in pleasure as his seed spreed inside of her .

" stay ". Rey whispered in Ben's ear , he shiver at the words .

They laid together naked only a silk sheet covered half of their bodies . Ben stare at rey as he ran his finger on her shoulder making circles .

"What ? " she asked softly , Ben smiled and kissed her again .

" you look beautiful against the moonlight ".

" I do ?"

"Yes ".

" tomorrow I'm going to a meeting , I think I may go to a campaign war ". Ben smiled fade , war , no ! Ben slowly sat up and turn to stare at her "war with whom ?"

"The sith they created an army call the first order". panic and anger flow through Ben .

" please, don't go it's too dangerous my love , I don't want to lose you ". Ben almost lost it but try to calm himself he didn't want to lose rey by the sith like his parents .

"You won't lose me Ben , I'm trained to fight and I have an army , Ben your shaking ? ."

"What if I go and fight ?" Ben change the conversation , Rey put her forehead against his "your place is here in the palace next to everyone and me . who am I going to come back to if your not here ." rey stare at Ben , he didn't smiled he was serious about everything rey could feel the tension she loved that her lover worried but she is the empress and it's her duty by the way she loved to fight.

" if I lose you , I'll die rey your the only person I have in my life no one else , promise you'll be back ! promise me? ."

"I promise when I go I'll be back to you Ben I promise , I'm not even gone and your making me promise ".

" I love you " whisper softly Ben

" I know ".

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Phasma was always stamping her staff every single time he did something wrong either at class , horse riding lessons or when he didn't behaved either .

" it's not only giving pleasure in bed boy ! is to use your head and behave like a decent young man from the palace ."Ben had it with that women she was a nightmare his hell didn't end there ,since the day that jade the prince of Yavin came to the palace he has done one only thing is to humiliated ben. the nerve that serpent had when he called Ben to his Royal chambers to clean all his jewelry and making him fix all his belongings properly put in its place .

" so you must Be Ben , right ?", Ben could feel jade staring at him , the good thing he was facing the opposite direction and doing something with his hands because he swear he felt like choking the prince in this moment.

" yes ", ben answer irritated .

" the alderaan slave ? ", Ben try to calm himself from not doing anything stupid .

" yes".

Jade smiled and winked at one of his servants "I'm so happy , the empress was so delighted to see me . she couldn't hide how happy she was to see me , she invited me to her royal chambers tonight ". Ben drop the beautiful jewelry to the carpet he picked it up fast . Ben felt humiliated by this , he could almost feelt his blood burning of anger , Jade smiled at his servant he had finally spread the poison .

"Everything all right Ben ? " smiled jade .

" I...uh I'm fine prince ". Ben could hear his teeth clench as he said it . Ben got up from the silk carpet and bow to jade , " may I be dismissed ? I need to go to music practice ", Ben held his head up looking at the young prince, Jade smiled with delight .

" of course you may be dismissed and go play your ....um instruments ." the fake smiled that jade gave to Ben which very well Ben can see.

Ben left the room almost running out of there. How could she ? Was he a thing she just can't throw him in the air like that ? No ! Ben will talk with rey , Yes ! he is a slave of the jakku palace but a human being that has feelings and not feelings for any one but for the empress . he walked all way to the hallway angry straight to the men's chambers when he stopped , he saw phasma and rose waiting for him . Rose is one of Rey's lady maid and faithful friend Ben liked rose but not kaydel Much .

" Ben , come " Ben followed both women inside the men's chambers next to his bed was a golden chest a beautiful golden chest it had red stones.

" And what's this ? " Ben asked curious and confused.

" this is a gift from the empress ", a gift from rey he opened it and there was elegant silk fabric and jewelry and golden coins . phasma stare at rose who rose smiled with excitement .

" the empress has made you this " . rose gave a black jewelry box which he opened slowly inside of it was a ring with a black diamond .

"the empress made it for you ". Rose explained excited as Ben try the ring on .

Rose whispered "the empress will wait for you, tonight ". Ben looked at rose suprise how was this ? didn't jade said rey wanted to see him tonight.

" there's more ". Phasma announced as she took Ben to his new chambers, his proper chambers. Ben threw himself in the bed of pillows he remembered when he was a young boy and played with his mother when she didn't go out for political meetings.

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" she what ?" Lor san tekka said while everyone was drinking tea and eating sweets . prince Poe looked at his father .

" now your sister has given that slave his own room his own bed chambers ? Unbelievable !".

"Well ,father she is the empress and if the young man made her happy so he deserves it , it's the law in the palace those who brings happenies to the empress shall be gifted ". His father didn't say anything he took a sip from his tea .

Poe smiled at his father and stare at the balcony the day looked beautiful to spent a day in the palace garden , his mind wonder off with kaydel .

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The empress had held a meeting with her counselors and pashas from jakku , with her was kaydel she had become a trusted and faithful right hand of the empress , captain kaydel while finn was a pasha and Leader of the military of jakku army .

" we must stop all cost our enemies especially the Sith ", The empress voice was elegant with so much force and spunk . rey won't let anyone take her kingdom she'll protect her people and friends . she wanted to be more stronger than her mother ever was .

" they took over lands and terrorized many kingdom . they have created an army call the first order ".

" alderaan was destroyed by the Sith; burn into flames they killed the Royal family ,it's believed the prince is alive but lost no one knows where he is ".

" than we shall look for him , I knew Queen Leia she was an amazing queen and also her husband the king . I never knew the prince at all , the late empress was going to wed me with the prince of alderaan to make an alliance with both kingdoms, but unfortunately she pass to better life ."

" the prince of Yavin has came for help , the first order has declare war against them ".

" if the empress decision are to have a war that so be it ".

" I don't like wars , but with the sith and this new army there's no talking nor peace treaty , so war is the only options in the table ".

" then it's decide my empress"

" I'll fight for my kingdom and people I'll not left my people get terrorize by the Sith army nor by them ".

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"How's everything kaydel ?" , Finn asked

" fine so far ".

"What? prince Poe ?"

" he is well ". Finn shook his head he wasn't asking that . " you know what I mean kaydel ".

" shh .. What ? You want me to get in trouble ? You know that is forrbidden ".

" come on its poe".

" Prince Poe besides I think he may get marry to a girl to a princess of some region ".

" yes , right , will that bride could be you ". Kaydel got mad and walked out of the room of meeting .

" those two seriously ". Finn said almost laughing.

Kaydel didn't want Poe to marry but it was tradition and duty as his title.

" it's never going to happen ". She whispered

" what is not going to happen ? ". Asked rey smiling.

" oh nothing my empress just thinking about the war and other stuff of the kingdom ."

" we will win kaydel ". Rey put a hand on kaydel shoulder.

The empress entered jades Royal chambers who stood up and bowed to the empress.

" empress rey ".

" jade "

" I'm blessed by your visit my empress"

"We need to talk it's argent ". Said rey With a serious tone .

" I see you had already fix and brought your belongings put in perfectly ."

"Yes, one of your men of the bed chambers the alderaan boy helped charming young man ".

Rey turn to see jade " oh he helped you ?"

"Yes , I see you grew very found of him ?".

"I don't need to give explanation about that jade ? ".

" Look rey you know I came for help and to see if I had , if we still could be more than friends? like we used to rey before the empress send me away " jade grab rey by the hand , he noticed that rey wasn't the same she didn't look at him with that excitement in her eyes full of passion when they used to take walks through the palace garden.

" jade , please we couldn't".

" why not ? The empress isn't between us anymore , or is it something or someone else that is making you act this way with me ?" Rey stare at jade and turn her head towards the balcony who saw Ben at the garden .

" I'm sorry jade ". The empress left the room leaving jade heart broken, he turn to the balcony and saw Ben jade gave him a cold stare .

" you piece of soild meat , you took everything but I'll make you pay ". He eyes were full of anger .

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The Night had fallen when phasma sent Ben to the bathing rooms. Ben was bathed with the finest oils and soaps fit for a prince, Ben was dress in the the silk fabric that the empress had gifted him, elegant jewelry was but carefully on Ben dressed in the finest silk robes . phasma and BB -8 took him through the marbal hallway of the palace, Ben was excited to see rey again the doors open slowly but phasma grab him by the arm gently " remember Ben , be on your best behavior ."

"Don't worry I will ". Ben smiled wickedly at phasma who just took a deep breath .

Ben eneter slowly as the doors closed behind him . everything was silent candles were burning gently oils were burning it smiled amazing . where was rey ? maybe getting ready which she didn't need she was already beautiful to him . he looked at the door quickly from the other room which rey came through . the empress was dress in a silk night gown a see through gown Ben could see everything which made him hard to the core .

"Rey ". He whispered.

Rey had her women hood cover as well for her chest , rey had been thinking about Ben all day and the way to show him was by dancing for him , The empress offered her hand to Ben which he accepted it , she led him to the bed of pillows . instruments played a exotic dance behind the door, she moved her waist at the rythem of the music she looked like a goddess from the desert Ben followed how her body moved ,she moved her body like when they made love rey slowly walk towards Ben and slowly kneel in the floor and spread his tights , she looked at him and gave him a dangerous smiled.

" sweetheart your making me cum." He almost choke at the words coming from his mouth.

" I want you Ben ". She slither up caressing his chest kissing him and She straddles his thighs.

" leave " , she order her maids and everyone in the room , music kept playing outside the door while they both continue.

Rey kissed Ben she ran her bony fingers through his soft skin . she quickly took Ben's cloth off leaving him completely naked and settles on top of him , Ben closed his eyes losing himself in the moment of love and pleasure of his empress they made love all night .

" I'm not going to last ", Ben was breathless as he kept moving his waist faster into her .

" I want you inside of me !",Shaking and gasping as her walls clench around him , She can feel him swelling and stretching her from the inside; the way their bodies moved it was like they were dancing an exotic dance .

" Rey !" , whine Ben , he drag rey closer to him kissing her neck they stayed like this all night making love under the stars and moon of jakku .

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Jade was brushing his hair when one of his servants came to his room .

" any news " he stood up from his chair as he walked towards DJ.

" her Highness is with the alderaan slave and brought music to her chambers " jade turn to face the mirror angry both his hands resting on top of each .

"Leave everyone except you DJ you stay ". When all the maids left the room leaving them alone .

" you know well I didn't come only for help but to win the empress heart but it so happen that the alderaan slave has become a danger and very dangerous indeed ". DJ pay close attention to the prince .

"And what do you have in mind my prince ".

" you very well know me do you?".

" yes and I also know that when something is in your way you eliminated ."

" yes, but I want to play with that alderaan slave I just love how he gets mad fast but I'll hurt him the way he has hurt me when I knew that he took rey from me ".

" let see when the alderaan slave beautiful face is slightly cut or disfigured, let see if the empress wants to see him again " . DJ just shook his head and stare at jade .

" she will see me again I'll be the favorite again not only the princess anymore but the empress favorite ".

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Yes , there's trouble in the horizon for Ben this is going to get intense!😳😳😳😳 thanks everyone for reading ,comments,likes ,and reblogs ! 😘💜💜

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Like always my mean people out there I don't want drama no misunderstandings please if you don't like it keep scrolling down and no harassment nor mean messages.

Please do drama ✌💜please

[way-wizard]

“All The Blowjobs You'll Ever Want”

Think, Steve! You've got to get out of this.

Steve dashed down the back stairwell in his blue button-down shirt and khakis. This was his chance. Just thirty more steps to go... twenty... come on Steve don't get tired... ten.. almost there... five.

A crimson heel kicked out from behind the last steps snagging his feet. Steve tripped and went barreling into the wall. "And where do you think you're going? I didn't recruit you so you could break your contract."

Steve was in a daze. He lifted his head to the sight of five pairs of heels; crimson, peach, lemon, lime, and violet. "P-please. I-I wasn't going anywhere!" Steve said.

A blonde in a yellow low-cut mini dress bent down and began examining him for injuries. "Oh Steve... and you were always so well behaved—  He's fine!"

"Good. Get him up."  A brunette in crimson heels and a black dress started coming into view.

The four other women surrounded him and began standing him up, each in different colored heels and mini dresses.

"Nobody leaves without a pass from management. You know the rules." The women pinned him against the wall.

Steve begged, "I just need some fresh air. I-I'll come right back. I promise."

The brunette pressed a rose-shaped lapel pin above her left breast activating a radio. "We've got another difficult one. Get the chamber ready. — Yeah, we're going to need the straps."

Before Steve could get out another word he felt a shock at the side of his neck and he started blacking out, sliding down the wall to the sound of the woman in the peach dress telling him "That's right Steve, just take a nice little nap. I'll be the one getting you ready when you wake up!" She giggled and he was out like a light.

You might be wondering what an average easygoing IT technician like Steve was doing being pursued by five attractive women in flashy mini dresses and heels, or why any man would run from that in the first place. It all started at Steve's old job. He was the "fix it" guy for a moderately sized office full of incompetent unpleasant people, and he always did his job no matter the request. If a server crashed, he was on it. If the boss wanted his email history with his secretary permanently erased, Steve was the man. If someone dropped their smart phone in the toilet, call Steve! That was the kind of guy he was; always the dutiful worker.

Steve wasn't happy though. He spent long nights online every night talking to people from all over the world, living another life entirely. He'd chat with women who were way out of his league and imagine being with them. Sometimes he'd even talk dirty to them on Tumblr and jokingly suggest that they'd like sucking his cock. "Oh Steve, you stud!" he'd think to himself before getting blocked for the 100th time and going to bed horny and alone.

But one night was unlike those other nights. Steve met a mysterious woman on Tumblr who seemed to know just what to say to him. Usually he was the one sending dirty asks, but this time it was his inbox that was being inappropriately ravished. Not only did this woman know about Steve's desperate sexual proclivities, she also knew everything else about him; where he worked, how he behaved at the office, and even his taste in erotic hypnosis. She was very direct in telling Steve that he fit all the qualifications for a new position in a privately funded high-security environmental research facility. They reviewed his skill set, his temperament with coworkers, and his psychology. Everything about him was a match, and they wanted him. Steve was hesitant though, and as she started to list the perks of this new job he thought it couldn't possibly be real. He was so skeptical that he was about to block her, until she said those magic words...

"And all the blowjobs you'll ever want."

The mysterious woman sent him a time and place to meet an interviewer and then promptly logged off.

Why would anyone accept a job under such strange circumstances, you might ask. The promise that he'd be treated better probably helped. She said he'd be treated like the man he was online. But the real reason Steve showed up to that interview? The real thing he couldn't stop thinking about? It was the aching thought that she left in his mind. All the blowjobs he could ever want. That thought had him nodding throughout the interview, signing documents he didn't even read, agreeing to stay in an on-campus company apartment, and not bothering to question how they found out so much about him in the first place. It carried him straight from his old job to this new one, far from the distractions of civilization. He packed his things and hopped on a company bus that would take him to the campus he'd be staying at; a series of connected buildings surrounding a large courtyard. Actually it looked more like fortress or prison with new paint on it, but Steve ignored that upon arrival. He was just happy to be having an adventure.

Once he was settled in, Steve got the hang of things quickly. His job was simple. He received detailed internal support tickets he could take care of remotely from his desk in a private office. There was a problem though. The work was too easy, none of it seemed real, and every time he tried looking into research being done there he seemed to get distracted or interrupted by beautiful women. Within his first week as he was digging around looking for more information one of the secretaries walked into his office in a skimpy dress and sat down on his lap, suggesting they get lunch together. When he got nervous and turned her down, she started joking about how he'd probably accept if blowjobs were on the menu.  Immediately he heard "all the blowjobs you’ll ever want" ringing in his ear and he felt dizzy. He shook it out of his head and got up to leave. Something felt off.

The very next day when he was going to meet a coworker who knew more about what was going on, a woman walking on the other side of the hall turned and walked straight into him, catching herself with her hand on his crotch and commenting that she was glad his penis caught her. And as he got to the elevator, two women raced to step on with him and starting mouthing the word "blowjob" at him while trying to convince him to get off on their floor. Steve did want a blowjob. He wanted one bad. In fact he hadn't stopped thinking about blowjobs since he accepted the job. But there's no way this was happening to a guy like him. Whatever he was expecting when he was told he'd get "all the blowjobs he'd ever want", this wasn't it. Something was wrong.

The more Steve looked into it, the more strange this facility seemed. The support tickets were fake, half the people in the internal emails were fake, and what little he learned about the research being done pointed away from environmental issues and towards behavioral research and even experimental hypnosis. The more Steve dug into it, the weirder things seemed to be, and the more he felt like he was being watched. One night as he was looking for information online a coworker showed up at his door and tried to budge her way in, promising to "suck him dry" if he'd only just let her look around first. He couldn't risk it and locked the door. For the rest of the night he planned out how he was going to leave. The facility was far away from any major cities and they bussed everyone in, so he'd have to leave work in the morning and try to hitch a ride on one of the outgoing busses. Always a nerd for details, Steve worked out his exit strategy. He'd pretend to be using the bathroom and then sneak onto the elevator. If the elevator was too busy, he'd casually walk down the main stairs. From there he'd use a company form he modified on his increasingly glitchy computer to get on the bus.

And that brings us back to today, with Steve running frantically down the back stairwell, tripping, and being shocked unconscious by five women in mini-dresses. Everything had been going to plan until the bus showed up and none of the elevators worked. Everything had been going to plan until he was stopped at the main stairs by two secretaries trying to undo his fly and telling him to wait while they blow him. Everything had been going to plan until....    *ZAP*

"Wakey wakey Steve  *giggles* "  It was the woman in the peach dress.

Shlick shlick shlick

Steve's vision was blurry and he was disoriented. He was laying down on some kind of table.

Shlick shlick shlick

"Don't be shy Steve. She needs to talk to you. *giggles* Mmhmm"

Shlick shlick shlick

Steve started regaining his senses. His arms and legs were strapped down, as was his head. He was in some kind of strange white room, and he could see the face of the woman in the peach dress standing down by his side. She was a dirty blonde with a cute button nose, and behind her was some kind of observation window where he could just barely make out a series of bright mini-dresses moving around.

"I think he's ready for you!"

Shlick shlick shlick

Steve could hear the distinctive pattern of clicking heels on the floor, closer and closer until another woman was leaning over him. It was the brunette in the crimson heels and black dress.

"Hello 0259. I'm sorry we couldn't have met under better circumstances. Do you remember me?"

Steve struggled. "What? No, wh-who are you. Why am I here? Why did you call me that?"

"I'm the woman you spoke to online. I recruited you." She smiled. Her lipstick matched her heels. "Didn't you read your contract?"

Shlick shlick shlick

Steve stopped struggling and tried to think. He never actually read the contract. "So what, am I some kind of te-test subject?"

The Crimson Lady laughed. "No 0259, you foolish man. You're a part of the experiment, but you're definitely not a subject." She looked down towards the woman in the peach dress. "The woman masturbating you right now? She’s the subject."

Steve was confused. "She's not mast—" he trailed off.   Shlick shlick shlick   That couldn't be happening. That couldn't be what that sound was. He'd feel it if it was, right?

The Crimson Lady laughed again. "Here, let me loosen the strap on your forehead."

Steve lifted his head up and looked down his body. The woman in the peach dress had medical gloves on and was rubbing some kind of cream all over his penis. He couldn't feel anything, but he was erect and his cock was swollen and veiny.

The Crimson Lady continued, "It numbs at first, but that will go away. This is a cream we've developed to eliminate your refractory period and make you readily capable of nearly unlimited erections and orgasms as long as there's adequate stimulation. Once it kicks in—which will be any moment now—it should last for up to two weeks. We've also administered to you a drug to increase your production of seminal fluid and all associated urges. It's harmless, but you will feel an intense and frequent need to expel it into a.. *laughs*... willing receptacle."

"I think he's ready! His cock is twitching!" the woman in peach exclaimed gleefully.

"Good, clean him up." the Crimson woman ordered.

As the woman in peach began washing the rest of the cream off Steve's penis, the Crimson woman put a hand at his throat. "I think you'll find that escape is useless now 0259. You're going to need particular kinds of stimulation at a regular frequency to keep your new urges in check, and we're the only ones who can offer that you. Do you understand?" She looked down the table and snapped her fingers at the woman in peach. "What do you need?"

"I need cock." the woman in peach replied.

The Crimson woman snapped again. "And when do you stop needing cock?"

"Only when I make him cum." peach replied.

*SNAP*

"Only when you want me to stop making him cum."

The Crimson woman smiled. "Very good." She turned back to Steve, who was starting to feel an intense tingling and pressure near his groin. "Now 0259, I want you to remember this moment. I usually don't do this up close, but it's important you understand the power I have over the subjects of this experiment, and the power I have over you."

*SNAP SNAP*

Upon hearing the two snaps, the woman in peach parted her lips and slipped Steve's cock between them, flicking the head with her tongue and tugging it with the suction from her mouth. He started to regain the sensation in his penis, and was flooded with a trickle of warm wet feelings as she worked her lips down his shaft.

"The first time being stimulated in your condition is always urgent. You really need this release don't you 0259?"

Steve wanted to resist, but he couldn't. His body was pleading with him to give in. Feeling the woman in peach eagerly inviting him into her mouth and trying to suck the cum out of him was too much to hold back. He relented and tried to let go. He could feel an orgasm building easily, but then... nothing. He couldn't cum. He was on the very edge, being sucked so steadily and so quickly, yet he was unable to find relief. He just wanted to burst into her mouth so badly. Why couldn't he cum?

The woman in Crimson grinned. "I told you 0259. Your new urges can only be satisfied with the sensations we provide. Our subjects are well trained, and I can make her bring you over the edge any time I want to."

"P-please" Steve whimpered. The pressure was unbearable.

"What was that?" the Crimson lady snickered.

"P-please, I want to cum. I want to cum! I need to cum, please!"

"Good. I think you understand now." The Crimson lady lifted her hand and snapped twice again.

The woman in peach began swirling her tongue over Steve's cock while sucking him, hitting various nerve endings one after the other in a way that felt like she was unlocking the final stages of his arousal. Almost there now. As she sucked up one more time Steve could feel the tip of her tongue dragging against the bottom of his shaft and flicking the last secret spot like a key opening the floodgates, and he suddenly felt himself cumming. His whole body thrust forward and he could feel his semen pushing out of him, shooting out into her mouth and spraying the back of her throat. He felt her grip the head of his cock even tighter with her lips, and he flooded his cum over her tongue until her mouth was full. Cum began streaming down her lips as she tried to swallow, but it was simply too much. Steve's body went limp, but he continued feeling his cock pulsing spurt after spurt of semen out into her mouth as she licked, sucked, and swallowed.

The Crimson Lady stroked his hair gently. "That was the first lesson. Now here's the second." She moved her hand from his hair to his throat again. She raised her other hand and snapped three times.

The woman in peach began sucking fast again, and then working Steve's cock all the way down her throat. He looked up into the Crimson Lady's eyes and felt dizzy. She stared back at him, gripping his neck tighter and snapping again three times. The woman in peach's lips were all the way down his cock now and she began fucking her throat back and forth over him. He had never felt anything like it, and immediately built up another orgasm. This time there was nothing stopping it and he went right over the edge, ejaculating down her throat and feeling completely relieved and relaxed with intense tingling all over his entire body.

The Crimson Lady released her grip. "This feeling you're having right now? You're going to crave it. You're going to need it. Soon you're going to be frustrated without it." She leaned down and looked Steve in the eyes again. "Only our subjects can give it to you. If you do your job and present your cock for use by our subjects for the duration of your contract, I'll consider returning you to normal. Until then you're going to need this stimulation, whether you like it or not."

The Crimson Lady and her subject walked past Steve, leaving him laying there strapped to the table.

"Hey, wait, when can I get out of here?" Steve cried.

The Crimson Lady turned. "You broke the rules 0259. You're going to be in here for use by all of our subjects for the next week. Don't worry, the next subject will be in shortly to rehydrate you and then... drain you again." She laughed.

Steve heard the door slam shut and began to feel the satisfaction from the two orgasms he just had fade. He could feel the urge to find release begin to build again. It was slight, but he knew it was coming. Soon he'd need to cum again, and he needed a mouth that could do that for him. As the minutes passed he started to think less about getting out of the chamber and more about hoping the next subject would show up soon. "Oh please show up soon," he thought. "I just want to be sucked and drained forever."

It started to ring in his ear again. “All the blowjobs you'll ever want.” 

Steve hoped the Crimson Lady was telling the truth.

*SNAP SNAP*

[09yards]

8 - When You’re Gone (days gone by - nct)

All the mystery and the magic You light up what once was tragic And I know that I will miss you when you're gone I could never have imagined All the heavens pour with passion   But I know that I will miss you when you're gone

    Johnny had been right about one thing tonight; it was indeed a family affair. What felt like just about everyone Mark was close to, was dispersed throughout Yuta's house. The parents had all congregated in the kitchen, about five too many bottles of wine left empty on the side for the number of people - the chatter and laughter rang in Mark's ears.

God, he hated being drunk. The smallest of sounds seemed to echo in his ears but at the same time it felt like he was hearing things underwater, his head was spinning and he was about six too many drinks in and he'd barely been there two hours. The air around him feels thick, muggy from too many people being crowded into the various rooms.

    Jisung had somehow managed to get out of the whole ordeal, arguing with their mum about how it would be inappropriate for someone who is (even more so than the others) underage to be surrounded by drunk people and the possibility of him therefore partaking in said underage drinking would be increased and that's not good for his health. Johnny had called him a pussy under his breath and had promptly earned a slap to his stomach from their mum and a stern "watch your language John" who then turned to Jisung (whose face was now adorning the slight pout and puppy dog eyed look - aka how to get their mum to do whatever they wanted look), her face relaxing into a gentle smile before kissing the top of his head (on her tiptoes which made her pout) and telling him to rest well and not stay up too late studying or engrossed in whatever novel he was currently working his way through. Mark stuck his tongue out on the way out the door - the kid could get away with everything, he and Johnny had dubbed it the youngest child effect. Johnny was pretty upset that he'd wasted good chocolate milk and now Yuta was going to get to drink it.

    Mark had been dancing around since he'd first arrived, back and forth between rooms in hopes of avoiding Donghyuck. Honestly, he wasn't entirely sure why he felt the need to avoid him, the younger was probably doing the exact same thing though since the lack of communication between the two since way back to Mark's birthday. Mark had spent some time pining and was okay about the whole situation now (as okay as he could be on the surface anyhow). Mark had been so busy with school - even with only being a month and a half in - he'd been spending lunches in the library, study periods with his tutor to talk about his personal statement and what felt like every second of his free time was spent pouring over his textbooks, homework and whatever else he could get his hands on. The only breath of fresh air was when he finally submitted his uni applications, nudging the whole ordeal to the back of his mind rather than playing the waiting game to see if he'd get accepted or not. He'd drifted apart from everyone in a sense but with Donghyuck it was weird. When he passed the others in the hallways, they'd spare a second to flash a smile or give a quick wave, things were normal, but with Donghyuck it felt like he purposefully averted his eyes every time, maybe Mark's mind was playing tricks on him, maybe it wasn't.

Renjun had ranted to him over facetime at three am one night about how Donghyuck seemed to squash any and all rumours quite quickly about whether or not he was gay, Heejin and him had made up somehow apparently and Renjun had seen the two of them spending time together - what for, Mark didn't know, nor did he want to. Renjun had said it was probably some sort of ploy due to Hyuck's parents. They all knew the story and they weren't the worst, but when Hyuck's older brother, Taeyong, had come out they just seemed to ignore it - they pretended like it hadn't happened and they never brought up dating around Taeyong ever again until Taeyong had gotten quite sick of it and had decided to bring his boyfriend (although he hadn't introduced him as his boyfriend, it was quite clear by the two's body language that Taeil very much was) to their annual family Christmas party. Not his proudest moment he has admitted on multiple occasions but, to Mark and the others it was quite the scandal, particularly as lovely as Donghyuck's parents were, they just seemed to not realise the number of people around them that were gay, much to the amusement of the majority of their friends. Just about everyone was gay, bisexual or pan between Mark and Johnny's friends, as well as a copious amount of people attending their school alone were part of the LGBTQ+ community and openly expressed their support of it and how the Lee's were yet to realise it no one would ever know, as well as how they've managed to live in their surprisingly accepting small town where political and social 'issues' weren't taboo. Taeyong had moved out the moment he was accepted into uni and promised that he wouldn't end their relationship for the sake of Hyuck, even if it meant the only time he spoke to his parents these days was when 'required' to at family events and the occasional birthday phone call. Mark and Donghyuck had grown distant over the last two months and Mark couldn't help but feel like it was to do with the rumours. Mark knew Donghyuck's parents wouldn't be happy about him being gay, if he was (Mark was still confused as to whether or not he'd come out to him that day) they would just pretend like it wasn't happening, make up a girl that he was supposedly dating to rely it to the family - it had happened before and it would more than likely happen again. But alas, Mark was far too drunk for him to be able to work up the emotional capacity to act like the best friend, if he could even call himself that anymore, he should be too Donghyuck.

- - - -

    "Jaehyun, please stop, I'm too drunk for this-"

"Being drunk is the perfect time young padawan! As the expert on all thing’s soulmates, please remember I have known mine since I was a mere five years of age, I am the most qualified to educate you here."

"You're probably more drunk than I am right now-"

"I probably am, okay, I definitely am but, doesn't stop me from being happy and in love and married to the best person in the world."

"You aren't married?"

"That's what you think."

"Jaehyun, what on earth is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that just because I may not be legally married, yet, that doesn't mean I won't be anytime soon. I just need to pick a ring and then ask him but it's not like he's going to say no right? Having a soulmate, you are bound to that person for the rest of your life, that's the whole idea of marriage, is it not? Oh look, there's Doyoung, see you later Mark!" Mark was flabbergasted, apparently Jaehyun had turned into some kind of Tumblr drabble reciting robot when drunk off the dubious substance in his cup, although if you asked him he'd probably just say it's what happens when you're in love and then flash you the famous Jung smile - dimpled and gummy.

"Wait!" Even when he raised his voice himself it made his head pound, "You didn't give me your advice?"

"Oh yeah," Jaehyun could barely stand straight, gently swaying as he paused in his steps half turned to Mark, “Just confess already. The pining isn't doing you any good and there's no other way to find out if he's your soulmate or not unless he tells you he's the one who caused your tattoo. Right now, you're only hurting yourself, stop feeling guilty all the time and be a little selfish for once, not that telling someone how you feel is selfish. You'll only make yourself sick, literally, either way and yes it could end up worst case scenario but you could also end up happy. You deserve to be happy Mark, you've spent so long doing things for everyone else because you felt like you had to, do something for yourself." Mark let his weight sink to the floor, his back pressed against the cold wall of the hallway.

Maybe it's what he needed to be able to let go?

    "Mark, hey," Jungwoo turned the corner, finding Mark still cuddled up against the wall where Jaehyun had left him earlier, "I was looking for you, you disappeared on everyone."

"Jungwoo... I want to apologise again about what happened at my birthday. I was drunk, wasn't thinking straight. What I did was wrong, so wrong and I'm so sorry for it and for upsetting you and-"

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm okay? Taeyong introduced me to this older friend of his anyway, very cute, very mature so no risk of him doing any classic teenage pining. Besides, neither of us were exactly thinking straight Mark. You and Haechannie will figure things out soon enough."

"Jaehyun told me to confess, that's why I'm here, debating whether that would be easier than yeeting myself off a cliff." Mark couldn't look at Jungwoo, he still felt guilty, sure they'd both been drunk and neither were exactly hoping to start anything in the future but it felt sucky, Mark never wanted to hurt someone else and in that moment he did, whether Jungwoo was okay now or not.

"Maybe you should, get everything out in the open rather than keeping all those emotions bottled up. You never know, maybe good things will come from it."

"Thank you, Woo, I know what I did was super shitty and I really hope you know how sorry I am."

"Shut up Mark, it never happened."

"Right, it never happened."

For the first time in a while, an actual smile threatened to appear on Mark's face. "Come on, lets re-join the party! Winwin got everyone dancing, even Johnny," Jungwoo grabbed his hand to pull him up from the floor, "let’s have some fun."

    As Jungwoo and Mark joined the makeshift dance floor of Yuta's living room, more drinks were pushed into their hands as their friends whooped and cheered that they were back, all far too drunk to remember any of their actions come morning. Jaehyun and Doyoung were cooped up in a corner, speaking in hushed voices to one another, both of their eyes filled with complete adoration for one another. Lucas was twirling Yuqi, the two of them bursting into fits of giggles whenever they made eye contact, it was endearing, Mark thought. Yuta and Winwin seemed to no longer be hiding their relationship status when Sicheng was not-so-subtle, sitting on Yuta's lap, the two leaning in for an R-rated kiss that Mark swiftly looked away from. Jaemin's head was resting on Renjun's thigh as they sat down on the sofa, evidently Jaemin had drunk more than he could handle and Renjun's hands gently cascaded through the younger's hair. Mark liked seeing his friends together, it made him realise just what having one’s soulmate can do, how it can make you feel. But he couldn't help the pang in his chest at the thought, he was alone, his eyes somehow having found Donghyuck among the copious amounts of people dancing. Mark couldn't take his eyes off of him, he gravitated towards him, dancing with some girls from his class who dragged Mark to join them - pushing him towards Donghyuck.

    The younger's head snapped up at the mention of Mark's name, no longer focused on perfecting the choreography to whatever song was playing with Yeri and Irene. Before Donghyuck could escape, Mark clasped his wrist, looking at him with pleading eyes. Now or never, now or never.

Donghyuck freed himself, flashing Mark a disgusted look before walking out of the room as fast as he could without drawing attention to them, Mark close behind.

"Hyuck, wait up please!"

"Leave me alone Mark."

"Come on Hyuck, at least let me speak," Mark's shoulders slumped as he let out a deep sigh, attempting to build up his courage, now or never. "J-just let me say this and then you can scream, yell, runaway or whatever it is you want to do," Donghyuck's resistance against Mark pulling his arm again relaxed, "just, please let me speak."

"Fine. What do you so desperately have to say?" His voice was wobbly, Donghyuck was telling himself that it was because of the cold October air and not his emotions getting the better of him. Donghyuck doesn’t even remember at what point they’d made it outside – nor does he see the audience of one they’ve gathered.

"Okay, right, here we go."

"I don't have all night Mark."

"Right, sorry. Of course, I just need a second." Was the air getting thicker or was Mark just having trouble breathing?

"Here goes nothing," Mark took one last deep breath and closed his eyes, he had this speech engraved in his mind ready to use it at any moment, "I like you Hyuck. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you and I'm also fairly certain that you're my soulmate.

I know that we're young and I'm definitely dumb and you aren't even eighteen yet but, I know that I'm in love with you and I trust that the universe made us meet that day in the library because you are my soulmate. I can't imagine my life without you, I can't imagine waking up next to anyone else. I can't imagine kissing someone else, holding someone else in my arms, running my hands through their hair, listening to them hum along to the radio. It's always you, in my daydreams and my nightmares, whether I'm asleep or awake you're always by my side.

Believe me when I say I tried to stop, I tried to convince myself that you're not the one. I spent so long crying myself to sleep, begging the universe to let me stop loving you, I tried, I really, really tried... but, I'm always going to love you. I think I've known that since the day we first met and I need you to know that, I'm always going to love you. No matter what. I've imagined me saying this to you hundreds of thousands of times and I was never going to say anything but I can't keep doing this. I can't fake another smile, I can't fake like everything’s alright all of the time, I can't fake that I'm alright. I love you Donghyuck."

"Mark," Donghyuck inhaled sharply, "I don't know what you want me to say..."

"Say you feel the same, say you can feel your soulmate mark showing up, whatever," the pleading in Mark's words was clear by his breathlessness, "Hyuckie, please, I know you can feel it too."

"I'm sorry Mark, I really am," his shoulders slumped and he couldn't meet Mark's eyes, Mark's pleading gaze, "I'm so sorry. I can't do this. I don't feel the same, I'm not in love with you Mark. You're hurting someone else by doing this, please get over me and stop - I know you won't be able to handle the guilt. I can't let you hurt someone else, I can't hurt you by lying like that. I'm sorry... I'm so sorry."

And with that he turned away, leaving Mark behind, hiccupping in attempts to breathe while he sobbed uncontrollably. A pair of arms wrapped around him, pulling Mark into a warm chest, a gentle hand patting his head and muttering "it's okay" over and over again.

    Mark had never felt more sober than he did in that moment. Dizziness overtook him, the walls if the hallway felt like they were closing in around him, getting closer and closer, suffocating him. He sobbed and sobbed until he didn't have a single tear left to cry, his body spasming as he tried to catch his breath, hiccupping into the comfort of Johnny's arms.

Mark had never wanted to get drunk more in his life.

- - - - -

    Donghyuck is peacefully absorbed in his history textbook when his attention is snapped away from medieval medical treatments and to Jaemin quite literally plonking himself in the chair over the other side of the table to Donghyuck, letting out an exasperated sigh as he does so, backpack discarded on the floor by his feet as his eyes meet Donghyuck's - they're inquisitive and Donghyuck feels himself shrink in on himself a little, out of apprehension, fear or embarrassment, Donghyuck isn't sure.

"What happened with you and Mark?"

There was a slight bite to Jaemin's voice, no traces of any gentleness or subtly. Jaemin wasn't for softness when it came to life generally, particularly when someone’s upset, he approaches situations with the grace of a herd of elephants.

"Nothing."

Jaemin tuts, rolls his eyes and lets out a deep sigh, clearly not satisfied with Donghyuck's answer - or rather lack thereof.

"Oh, that’s not what I heard?"

Donghyuck can't tell if Jaemin drew the short straw and is the one tasked with interrogating him over the events of the weekend or if he's genuinely doing it for himself. Maybe Mark is keeping quiet about the events of that night, however even with how good the two are at avoiding one another it is clear Mark hasn't been in school the last few days, they aren't that good at not having crossed paths remotely once. Donghyuck couldn't help the pang of guilt. Donghyuck also knows that Jaemin isn't giving up, he's tapping his fingers against the desk as if he's hoping that'll prompt Donghyuck to talk. Jaemin is nonchalant about most things in life (aside from anything Renjun related), yet he doesn't back down and is evidently undaunted when it comes to getting what he wants.

"Well, nothing happened."

"Bullshit." Jaemin counters, without missing a beat.

Donghyuck is taken back by the harshness of his voice. Honestly, Donghyuck thought they would drag this out for longer, more like he was hoping he could keep up his charade of 'nothing happened' for longer, staying in his little bubble where he could pretend like everything was okay - like that night hadn't happened and he hadn't broken his best friends heart. Jaemin was the type to bug you to just the right level of being ridiculously annoying to get what he wanted out of you - driving you to insanity bit by bit was more his style unlike the current look of utter despair lacing his usually kind features.

"That's utter bullshit and you know it. Whatever fantasy charade you're keeping up by pretending everything’s okay is ending right now. You keep sighing in lessons, I can practically feel the anguish radiating off of you from the other side of town and here you are straight up lying to my face and just about everyone else, including yourself."

"Why do you care so much?" Hyuck didn't mean to sound so cold, it was just a second-nature defence mechanism at this point as well as being caught off-guard by Jaemin's sudden outburst.

Jaemin looks at him again, staring dead into Hyuck's eyes like he's searching for Donghyuck's last remaining brain cell, jokes on him though because it's not there. "Because Haechannie, I actually care about you and want to make sure you're okay as well as Mark. The tension between you two is downright depressing and I thought all the melodrama ended when Renjun and I got together but clearly, I was wrong, the two of you are so much worse. Both with permanent pouts on their faces, avoiding talking about whatever happened so no one can do anything to help which again, is just," Jaemin let out some disgruntled sound in lieu of an adjective but laced with the same disgust he was attempting to convey, "you see? Everyone has been here before, we're not all Jaehyun and Doyoung, you're more like Johnny and Ten and the utter mess that was the start of their best-friends-to-boyfriends transition. We all care about you; we all want to make sure that you're coping and not making yourself sick." Jaemin's now looking at him with one eyebrow raised as if Donghyuck's now supposed to magically understand whatever Jaemin's word vomit was actually implying.

Donghyuck lets his eyes wander over Jaemin's appearance, his hand griping his hair in anticipation of Hyuck's reply, pupils blown, wide and gazing at Donghyuck's face for any hint of emotion, looking slightly manic. Donghyuck evaluates his current position and with a deep breath he feels calmer, his muscles have relaxed, a smirk graces his face and-

"Oh, I've been meaning to ask, how are Johnny and Ten?"

6 NEW MESSAGES FROM RENJUN

I don't know what you did but you broke Jaemin

I've been trying to get him to shut up for years and you did it in less than half an hour

teach me your ways

he hasn't said anything since he got back, he's just sat there staring out the window with his mouth hanging open

Jisung and Chenle are seeing how many blueberries they can get in his mouth until he snaps out of it

they're up to nine

let me know how many they get up too

and tell Jaemin I'm sorry and that I'll

talk when I'm ready.

Donghyuck smiles, its only small but it’s his first genuine smile in a while.

- - - - -

     The rain is bouncing off the ground as he walks home, splashing his ankles and soaking the ends of his jeans. The temperature seems to have dropped by a million degrees since this morning and he's wishing he checked the weather app and put a warmer coat on. He's at the point where the harsh October air feels like it’s getting in his bones, just about every inch of him is freezing and just when he thinks things can't get any worse, as he turns the corner to his house he's met by a tall figure sat on the steps leading up to his door.

The rain is the last thing on his mind as he lets his umbrella drop to his side, tilting his head as if that would help him get a better look at the boy that's slouched over, flicking his phone between his hands.

Upon hearing Donghyuck let out a pathetic attempt at a cough in hopes of gaining the others attention, the mop of blonde hair moves until Hyuck is met with a heart-warming, lopsided smile he could recognise anywhere.

"Hey, Haechannie."

"Hello, what can I help you with?"

"I think you know why I'm here."