#“life goes on” girl whos made peace with the reality

[ratatatastic]

"its gonna come when it comes and if it doesnt it doesnt and you know life goes on" this is not the contract talk i wanted ekky have you considered im gonna walk into zitos office with a pitchfork because LIFE DOES NOT GO ON TF

toronto maple leafs @ florida panthers pregame interview | 11.27.24 (x)

[bwat5-blog]

Caitlyn Kiramman's Strength

**Spoiler warning for all of arcane**

“You will never rest knowing that she’s out there. Or maybe I underestimated you. Maybe you have the strength I do not. To forgive, and trust in tomorrow”- Ambessa

Caitlyn's commander arc has been a HEAVY topic of debate. I have written plenty as have many others. I am writing this after reading a wonderful exchange between some other users who added even more to my understanding of this story.

For my purposes today, I am thinking about Caitlyn's strength. The question of true strength is one pursued in many ways throughout this story. Vi learning she deserves to be loved for more than the strength of her arm, Huck explaining to Caitlyn that he became addicted to shimmer because he just wanted for someone else to be afraid for once. So what of Caitlyn? Her strength to achieve, is the strength to forgive.

There are many kinds of strength. Caitlyn is agile, and a great fighter. Her mind is sharp and creative. Even as a rookie enforcer she has the force of will to follow a mysterious tattooed Zaunite into the undercity, never knowing how her life would change. What she would lose, and what she would gain.

People have made many ham-handed attempts at demonizing Caitlyn's character arc in season 2. Their failure to grasp the ways in which grief can warp us is their cross to bear. In Caitlyn's story, we watch as a kind, clever, idealistic and brave young woman is terrorized and almost murdered by wanted terrorist, only to watch helplessly as her mother falls to the same killer. Because remember my friends it's easy for us to look at Jinx's actions and try for understanding. We were there when Powder was a scared little girl holding her sisters hand on that bridge. Caitlyn wasn't. And in a span of mere days, all for the crime of believing she could make a difference, her reality is violently transformed in front of her.

This show gives us many depictions of the illusion of strength. My mind goes to the breaking of Powder and creation of JInx, in which Silco lauds the strength she has achieved by "letting Powder die". When the truth is that no matter how strong her body has become, her mind has only grown more fractured.

Caitlyn's takes control of her house. She demands her seat at the council, and forms a strike team to go into Zaun all of her own accord where they actively engage in combat against the Chem Barons. Strength? On the surface yes. But the unfortunately reality is that she is not an agent of law and order, bringing peace and safety to troubled streets. She is on a crusade. And with every step she takes down that road, she destroys more and more of what really matters to her, until even the woman she loves lays heartbroken and alone. All culminating in her glorious rise to Commander. Strength..

It is during this bleak time in Caitlyn's story, that she and Ambessa have a conversation. Caitlyn is questioning the Noxian's brutal tactics, and if the ongoing occupation of Zaun is really worth it anymore. Ambessa says the quote at the top to remind her of her rage.. and of her fear.

“You will never rest knowing that she’s out there. Or maybe I underestimated you. Maybe you have the strength I do not. To forgive, and trust in tomorrow”

And it works! For the time being. Because what neither of them could have known is Caitlyn was soon to be reunited with the woman who reminded her of inner strength. The woman who believed in her, who supported her, who sacrificed for her. Who at the moment of their reuniting, even with that emotional chasm between them and all of Caitlyn's wrongs known, trusts Caitlyn to save her father.

Trust... that single word from someone so important to her and Caitlyn begins to find herself again. Ambessa taught her to kill, to trick, to oppress and debilitate. Caitlyn's physical body growing stronger and more dangerous while her soul was buried deeper and deeper beneath the waves. But it was not until Vi was still willing to believe in her, to give her a second chance, that she truly began to breathe again.

It is in this time, that Caitlyn's true strength emerges. When face to face with the woman she knows captured her heart, and who calls her to account, the question of who deserves who gets a second chance is left in the air. What Jinx took from Caitlyn cannot be undone. And Vi is not asking her to love Jinx, or to love what she did. She is asking her to let go of the hatred, and the fear, and the pain. To live not just for Jinx's benefit but for Caitlyn herself as well. To carry the same strength in her heart that Vi demonstrated by telling her about Vander. And in so doing, for the sake of herself, and the woman she loves, Caitlyn sets aside that rage, and opens the way for them all to start healing.

Our story ends with Vi, and Caitlyn enjoying a quiet moment together. Violet's journey was never about physical strength, but about the strength to admit she deserves to feel loved, and protected, and safe. To know that she is worth more to her partner than the strength of her arm. Caitlyn was almost swallowed by her darkness, never having been more alone than when she was one of the most powerful people in the city. Now here, at the end of things, it is because she found the strength to forgive the person who wronged her, and in aspiring to be the person Vi deserves has begun to forgive herself, that she finds peace.

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 5 part 4

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

(this is a sad one, apologies in advance)

agatha just had the unimaginably traumatic experience of her mother's evil ghost possessing her body, so of course she cracks jokes. she's shaking like a leaf, but hey, coping mechanism gotta cope!

when evanora tried to execute agatha, stealing secrets or whatever was only an excuse, she was punishing her daughter for the sin of being born. whatever she says, her so called worry for these other witches is also an excuse. she's simply furious that someone has begun to think of agatha as a person rather than a monster. it's once again a selfless VS selfish paradox, evanora is always framing her actions as selfless and for the greater good, but her hatred for agatha is undeniably raw and personal. I would love to learn what evanora's life was like, who were her parents? what turned her into such a hateful mother?

(look at how angry rio already is. and alice always protecting the person closest to her by default.)

this is the ultimate humiliation for agatha, someone who has always kept her past and struggles so close to the chest. now one of her deepest traumas is laid bare for everyone to see and judge. she's always trying to come off as strong and unfeeling and formidable, but here she is, a sad little girl abused by her own mother.

btw I see you all have strong feelings about ghosts and billy's powers! lol I got so many comments. I see you, I see you! Granted I'm not actually super invested in my ghost theories, this being a made up marvel show and all, but here's what I think:

agatha says to wanda, "you have no idea how dangerous you are, you're supposed to be a myth, a being capable of spontaneous creation, and here you are, using it to make breakfast for dinner!" agatha, one of the most powerful witches ever existed, could not create food for nicky. like, the scope of wanda's powers (and billy's by extension) is the kind of scary that can reshape reality itself and truly and properly fuck up the Sacred Balance or whatever rio calls it.

when I say billy created a ghost evanora, yes it's a copy but in the same way a Star Trek transporter makes a copy, you know what I mean? whether the orignal stays behind or not, billy's evanora is the real evanora. and if you believe in souls, that gets even more complicated! did billy take evanora's soul from the afterlife and plopped her in here, or did it copy it too? and was wanda actually able to create billy's and tommy's or did she catch the wandering soul of stillborn twins?

see I don't think evanora was a ghost prior to this (again, I might be proven wrong in the future, but this is where I'm at right now). if that were the case, you know she'd been haunting agatha's ass, wouldn't have given her a moment of peace. maybe rio took extra care to send her to the afterlife, idk. now rio looks shocked and angry to see evanora, like this is a new development.

rio's voice is literally roaring with anger

like i cannot overstate how much rio hates and despises evanora for what she did to agatha

evanora zeroes in on rio, approaches. rio takes a whole step back and makes herself smaller. she's nervous. she says that ghosts are cheaters, but it goes beyond that, doesn't it? rio understands life and death, but a ghost is neither, or both. it goes beyond all her control and expertise, and for the first time since we've known her, she's at a disadvantage. ironic, isn't it, considering what happens to agatha in the finale?

agatha, who's been cowering in a corner, chooses this moment to approach. does she want to protect rio and billy and the others? or is she so desperate for an ounce of love and affection from her mother that she, coward as she is, actually wants to put herself in arm's way?

while everyone is focused on agatha, alice looks at rio. she is putting together evanora's words, agatha's terror and rio's hatred. jen is being selfish. alice, generous alice, could never be selfish

the last time agatha saw her mother she was still a kid. now she is a mother herself and the mere thought of not loving, not wanting to protect your child, of actually going out of your way to harm them? it's simply inconceivable to her.

the shock. the tears forming in her eyes. the same heartbreak she felt when she realized her mom was about to kill her at the stake. she's feeling small and wretched and unloved like only a parent can make you feel

it's the matter-of-fact tone she uses. it's worse than hatred. she despises agatha beyond hatred

there is a moment in a child's life when they see a parent clearly for the first time, their weakness and their flaws. this is especially true for an abused child, it comes a day when you realize that despite being called bad and evil and blamed for the pain happening, it was never really your fault. agatha knows what a parent's love should look like now. and this is not it.

rio visibly deflates. she is the only person in the room agatha opened up with about her mother. there is nothing she can do to spare her pain now. she has no power against evanora

alice has a blinding moment of shock, realization, pity. she knows only too well what generational pain and trauma can do to a person. but she still had a mother who loved her. agatha didn't.

jen, who used to be a healer, can no longer feel compassion. jen has had to learn to protect herself above all others. because evanora hurt agatha, and agatha hurt jen in return.

and when it's all said and done, agatha will always beg. all her power, her brains, her experiences are nothing. she regress to that girl at the stake. I can be good. please.

alice, who's always been the first to jump to everyone's defense, who always puts others before herself. she has seen agatha bare and helpless, she has seen that raw core that agatha has always hidden and, in her final moments, she's accepted agatha in her coven. it's more instinct than rationality, but alice has always been a heart over head kinda girl. if she can see the harpy, if she can see the pain, by GOD she'll do something about it.

“The Knight of Wands.” full of fire, fights bravely.

lilia's gut-wrenching scream. she knows what is happening. agatha already told her.

a succubus who hasn't fed in so long. I keep thinking, there was never anybody who loved her enough to teach her control, to seek alternative solutions to satiate her hunger. rio never could, rio cannot interfere with who lives and who dies. but could a coven together have fed her? could a big coven have donated power little by little, and kept her safe and valued and protected? nurtured her in every way? or was she always doomed from the start? was evanora right, did alice sign her death warrant the moment she chose to love agatha? I know what my answer is to all that, but what do you guys think?

and another question for you: billy casts around desperately for help, nicky answers. was nicky, or rather a shadow of nicky, created by billy too? or was the son of Death powerful enough and scared enough to reach out on his own, maybe with just a little push on billy's part?

a name was all it took for agatha to pass her trial, and look how much was needed to get it out of her. only billy's chaos could do the impossible: drag agatha's ravaged and wrecked heart to the surface. billy only wanted to help her heal, but he's a just a boy with the power to shape the universe. it took evoking ghosts and dredging up horrible trauma to make all of agatha's defenses crumble and raw-beat her into admitting her pain, into maybe, if we're lucky, starting on the road to recovery. oh, billy. you don't know how to handle things gently yet, with your big man's hands and your young, too young soul.

she stops IMMEDIATELY. she didn't know how to control her hunger, until now. the monster was human all along

by. as in, by billy, because he did it all. and also, good-bye. good-bye, mama.

oh, alice. there are no words.

and now they're no longer just numbers, just fools she conned and killed and abandoned on the road. now it's the girl with the big luminous heart, who sang the Ballad with her, who shared her same pain, the first human being in agatha's life who wanted to selflessly help her.

there is a moment, in a child's life, when they see a parent clearly for the first time.

go to episode 5 part 5

[the-crooked-library]

The Gender Narrative - from Buffy the Vampire Slayer to A24

Alright so I know this topic has probably been explored to hell and back (pun intended), but a transgender lens reading of Buffy the Vampire Slayer has beckoned me for years; and seeing I Saw the TV Glow yesterday was probably the last push I needed to get this out in writing. As we know, the film features a fictional television show heavily inspired by BTVS - and the framing highlights the same aspects I've wanted to dissect, so let's dive into it.

Spoilers under the cut!

Throughout its run, and despite its imperfections, BTVS drew much of its messaging from 90s (and early 2000s)-era feminism. Buffy's presentation as a sparkly, pink, girly girl is central to her character and her destiny. She is an icon of what girls can do and accomplish, even with the whole world against them - and, in this context, it is absolutely, startlingly captivating that her personal life revolves around a perpetual struggle for her right to girlhood.

Despite being the picture-perfect blonde Valley Girl on the surface, Buffy often finds herself barred from that existence by her Slayer identity. She is consistently perceived as too strong, too capable, too aggressive, too independent, too dangerous - and, ultimately, too masculine to participate even in the most stereotypical milestones of a girl in high school. Still, that experience is what she craves the most; so she signs up for the cheer squad, she loves shopping, she runs for Prom Queen, and she goes out slaying in a halter top, with perfect bouncy curls. In essence, Buffy Summers is desperate to pass - which takes us to ISTTG and the root of its story.

The two main characters of ISTTG - "Owen" and "Maddy" - are obsessed with a popular YA series, The Pink Opaque; which, between its credits font, its girl power themes, and monster-of-the-week format, is demonstrated to be an in-universe parallel to BTVS. The Buffy equivalent - or, the pink, pretty, sensitive, and powerful Isabel - is a point of utter fascination for "Owen."

there are no good stills of her online yet please forgive me

She is everything he wants to be, everything he is meant to be; and the time he spends with "Maddy", wearing a pink dress, a pink ghost drawn on the back of his neck, the pink glow of the TV vivid on his face, is the only time he feels anything approaching to happiness or peace. The very first sequence of the film establishes that "Owen" barely responds to his own name, that his father is a walking threat of what society commands him to become, and that his mother is loving but distant. Even later on, when he apparently has a "family of [his] own", we never even see their faces. Within the context of his life, he is little more than a ghost, going through the motions; and as the story goes on, it is revealed that "Owen" is Isabel, trapped in a false reality by Mr. Melancholy, the Big Bad of TPO. Her heart was carved out, she is drugged, and buried alive; and the sound of her slowly choking to death overlays "Owen's" steadily worsening asthma.

There is no denying the truth of that alternate existence by the end of the film. "Owen's" life is a nightmarish suffocation. Isabel is dying from a life of a boy she never was - in what is, explicitly, a transgender narrative.

The same story is directly mirrored by "Maddy."

Within the premise of ISTTG, she is the similarly trapped and suffocating "Tara"; or, the second half of the Pink Opaque - who, over the course of the film, discovers the truth of their reality, returns to the world of the TV show, and then comes back, unwilling to leave Isabel behind. However, what is particularly notable is that while her character's name is, of course, an homage to Tara Maclay (made all the more obvious via Amber Benson's cameo), the "Tara" of TPO is nothing like the soft-spoken, pastel-wearing witch.

Instead, she is a bold, loud punk with slicked-back hair and a leather jacket, who snarks at the monsters-of-the-week and speaks in poetry - she's Spike; and that provides the basis for her dynamic with "Owen" throughout the film.

In the world of BTVS, Spike is largely presented as a foil to Buffy's character. He is her thematic (and extremely sexually compatible) opposite; and that extends to his own relationship with gender. His story arc is defined by his struggle to be perceived as a man; on the Watsonian level, it is an identity persistently overshadowed by his vampirism - and in the Doylist sense, his poetry, occasional eyeliner, and painted nails might have something to do with that situation. Regardless, it is a significant factor in his narrative, both before and after his original, human death - to the point where he bonds with Buffy's mother, Joyce, specifically because she "treated [him] like a man"; and in the context of ISTTG, the same themes extend directly to "Maddy." In S5:Ep7 of BTVS (Fool for Love), Spike states that "getting killed made [him] feel alive for the very first time" - and when "Maddy" returns from the world of TPO, she explains that the only way to survive what Mr. Melancholy had done to them was to bury herself alive and die in the false world. Her statement is a monologue of slam poetry, spoken without interruption and illuminated by the steady blue of a high school planetarium; and while "Owen's" experience of blue lighting is usually aggressive and abrasive, "Maddy's" is soothing. It is right. It ties directly to what she is meant to be, even as her story inevitably terrifies "Owen" - who, much like Buffy, is not yet ready to face the truth of who he is or allow himself to indulge the desires he's buried for all his life.

From what I understand, the finale of the film has proven to be divisive; some interpret it as hopeful, others as crushingly bleak - but as a BTVS fan, and a trans man myself, I cannot see it as anything other than a peak of sheer, overwhelming panic that is only experienced at the very precipice of Change. My reason for it is rooted in the parallels between the respective season 5 finales of BTVS and TPO. For Isabel and "Tara," the story ends with their apparent defeat at the hands of Mr. Melancholy; and Buffy's ends with her sacrificing herself to save the world. She dies. She is buried. And then there's season 6. As such, inevitably, "Owen" is going to accept the truth of himself; he is going to die, Isabel is going to claw her way out of a grave - and when she does, only one person is going to understand what happened.

In conclusion - they are T4T. To me. And to Jane Schoenbrun, I suppose.

[lonniemachin]

Eman reached out to me to help share her fundraiser. She is a Palestinian mother of twin girls, Sara and Huda, who are currently residing in southern Gaza and urgently raising money to evacuate to Egypt. Her fundraiser has stopped receiving donations within the past couple of days, and she has only made $220 out of her currently $15,000 goal! Please donate and share, and if you can't donate, please still share!

Eman's Twitter/X account: @emanhajjaj86

From Eman's family's GFM:

To My Dear Friends,

Huda and Sara, twins who are twelve years old, stand together in the middle of Gaza as witnesses to the destruction that our home is enduring as the situation unfolds. Our family of four, including our parents, Abdelhadi and Eman, endures the daily fight for survival, a demonstration of the strength needed after devastation.

Our brand-new haven was leveled to the ground on the night of the battle, destroying all but the remnants of our hopes and dreams. Amidst the mayhem, we find solace in the familiar, a life that was once adorned with the innocent delights of youth.

We have sought refuge in the camps in southern Gaza, but the constant din of bombs here makes us question our own survival. The daily struggle for food, water, and the illusory promise of safety is an interminable one.

We humbly want your assistance, filled with both despair and optimism. Our plea is straightforward: cross borders, seek refuge in safety, and retrace the route to prosperity and education. Egypt stands out like a light of hope, offering a fresh start far from the chaos that has engulfed our life.

With the help of your kind donations, we may begin our journey, giving us a second chance to rebuild and restore the hopes and dreams that the war had taken away. Our family's safe journey, a doorway to a future when peace is more than a wish—it will be a genuine reality—requires a total of $40,000.

Donations of any size are greatly appreciated and represent a powerful show of solidarity that reflects the resilience of the human spirit. Together, we can change our fate. Help us build a story of perseverance that goes beyond the obstacles of war by joining us in this mission to turn despair into hope.

Best regards and best wishes,

Sara, Huda, Abdelhadi, and Eman

(The Youtube links provided are from the description of the fundraiser page)

[paddlescuddlesbubblesgurgles]

Ideals

My ideal submissive and feedee is smaller than me. Shorter. Not quite as heavy. Someone I can throw around or push over. She would be able to eat a lot, but I still outclass her pretty handily. I want to be her garbage disposal.

I like all manners of submission, but a sub who wants me to take care of her is really special. Planning her days by the hour, picking her clothes, her makeup, her nails, her hair, her meals, how much she eats…removing as much choice and thinking as possible. Removing as many obstacles as I can to allow her to focus on her passions, and looking pretty for me is ideal. If I can enable her to grow and flourish and bloom, then I’ve done my job.

Ideally, she loves praise and being rewarded. She loves doing things I set out for her, and she loves doing things together. She loves completing tasks, making reports, and researching. She also loves games of all kinds, expressing herself through her art(whatever it is), and is certainly a real dorky nerd. She loves eating. She simply must love eating. She must love being trained. I love training submissive a little each day, and introducing them to more and more things I know they will love, and that will maximize their pleasure. She must also love routines. There doesn’t have to be many rules, perhaps just one: listen.

I like being much bigger, 100lbs+ and a foot taller. I want my hands to be massive on her. I want her to feel small and protected, even if she’s really quite huge. I want to tower over her and be able to wrap my arms around her either because they’re so long, or she’s so squishy.

Fat girls always giggle and squeal when you can manhandle them. One of my favorite tricks to pull out of my hat. So what you weigh 300lbs+? I can fling you across the room or hold you where I need you no problem. Really get me going and I may just lift you up. Adrenaline is a powerful thing.

I want to build a space for her around me where she’s heard, celebrated, and made to feel safe. Where her dreams are reality. I want her time around me to feel like a fantasy come to life. If I can make the world revolve around her, I will. I want to spoil her rotten, and then some. I want her to feel open to experimentation, and to trying new things.

I want to completely redefine pleasure for her. Mind shattering orgasms. I want her dedication and devotion to be rewarded. Hours of playing with her until her body can’t take it and she explodes in desire. I want trust, too. If she trusts, I trust, and we go places neither of us ever have. Deep, intense sessions with all manner of new and different kinks we’ve never fully tried, or that require total abandonment of reservation. All in the pursuit of a greater pleasure, and a greater peace together. Ideally, we will be able to play each other like fiddles.

Feedism fits perfectly in this dynamic for me. Stuffing, gaining weight, and pushing limits are all common, and are mirrored in D/S dynamics in general. It also goes hand in hand with pleasure control. Eating in extreme excess simply for enjoyment fits right alongside pushing the body and the mind for maximum pleasure.

Because I like to take care of my submissive, DD/LG dynamics also work well for me. Creating a fun, relaxed, and completely cute environment where thought, choice, and even talking is totally optional and entirely not necessary is easy for me. I love gift giving and planning out activities, so it’s easy for me to create a little space for the submissive. I’m also a total sucker for extreme cuteness.

Ideally we are a 24/7 dynamic as well, and romantic partners. A deep connection made only stronger by placing each other in each other’s hands every day. I’ve only ever had a 24/7 dynamic once, and it redefined what I thought possible.

In my world with my submissive, there IS takesy backsies. Safe words, traffic lights, serious aftercare, and session logs are all regular. To go to these deep places far in our minds and hearts, there must be ways to come out of it, heal from it, or stop it. At any time I want the communication to be open. We can rewind, end, or redefine things as needed to help each other reach these new depths of pleasure. Things can be added or removed at will, and we can fix things that don’t feel right.

In my mind, my submissive is trusting me to take her to places she’s never been in her own mind, and in pleasure as a whole. She’s trusting me to take as much off her mind as possible, so she can be free. I want to do the thinking, and the planning, and the worrying so she doesn’t have to.

thanks for reading!

[snootlestheangel]

If someone hasn't asked yet Pricegravesnik for that ship thing :D

Ooohhh a challenge! Let's see where this goes lol

They're all married for this btw

If anyone wants to submit another ship, please do so! If you actually have other ideas for the questions "Like who takes the hottest showers?" then I'd love to hear them!

Who was the one to propose? Actually I want to say Price when he proposed to Nik. I want to say neither were willing to commit to marrying each other for a couple years until something happened and Price realized it's never a guarantee to keep the good things in life, so might as well keep them close while you can. Nik's the one that started the flirting with Graves and wanted to propose to him, but Graves beat him to it. (my tired brain made me read that as Graves proposed to himself, which honestly? He would. He'd do it just to mess with them and go "Sorry, I'm already engaged")

Who stressed more over wedding planning? I genuinely see Nik as the one that was flipping out the whole time. Graves was surprisingly the least stressed (he was recruiting his Shadows for help shhhhh) and Price was experiencing about the normal level of stress you'd expect for a wedding.

Who decorated the house? Graves. In truth, it was a mostly group effort; Price's favorite recliner is there, Nik's very nice, suspiciously acquired liquor cabinet, a few things they've both received from Laswell, Farah, Alex, and the 141 boys. But Graves is the true decorator. Granted, most of this stuff is gifts from the Shadows when they heard he was getting married.

Who does the cooking? I, again, want to say Graves's Southern ass does, but like... I feel like Price knows his way around a kitchen, ya know? Nik is banished from kitchens.

Who is more organized? None of them are necessarily organized per say. Graves is the best at keeping the appearance of being organized but in reality it's Price. Graves's planners are always neat, his desk is always neat, but that doesn't mean shit. Price's office always looks like Nik landed a copter too close but he knows exactly where everything is and he's the most on top of schedules/appointments/important dates.

Who suggested kids first? Nik. Like as a serious suggestion. He's seen the way both his husbands are, and he just knows they'd be wonderful dads. Desperately wants to be a girl dad.

Who's the cuddler? Nik is the cuddliest, but Graves is a close second. Price just wants some fucking peace and quiet.

Who is big spoon/little spoon? Graves always ends up the little spoon of at least one of them. As much as he tries his best to be a big spoon and big spoon only, he always ends up in the middle of them with one wrapped around behind him. Nik is always a big spoon though, and somehow Price ends up being the little spoon. (Graves is not complaining, he's got two bears for husbands so you know ending up in the middle of that is hella nice. And he should be thankful) *I am extremely jealous of Graves now but I have no one to blame but myself and maybe @midnight193 for submitting this ship*

What's their favorite non-sexual activity? Probably something quiet, but at the same time they're all so chaotic it'd never stay quiet long, so I almost want to say something like *mind blanks* Um.... Honestly? Bowling. Don't ask me why, it just popped in there and now I can't get that mental image out of my head. That or axe-throwing cause they're each such show-offs. Graves gets a +2 strength bonus when the Shadows are around

Who comes home drunk at 3am? Nik. Is there really any other answer? It's not often, it's still a rarity, but still. That! Or it's Graves after a party with his Shadows. He's always absolutely blasted after social engagements involving alcohol with his Shadows

Who kills the spiders? Price. None of them are afraid, but Graves did have one really bad allergic reaction once and ever since then Price is the one to kill the spiders. Nik tried using fire once. It did not work. He is no longer allowed to kill spiders, even though he promises to never do it again

Who falls asleep first? Hot take? Graves. He's going 100 all day and just crashes once it's bedtime. Sometimes, if Nik and Price are coming home late, they walk in to see Graves just sprawled out on the bed, having not even bothered taking his jeans off and he is out cold. (of course they always gently get him into bed proper and that's how he ends up in the middle)

A head-canon? Nik is a human furnace, which is partly why he has to be one of the ends when they cuddle/sleep. There have been times where he's ended up in the middle and Price is just on the floor cause HOT. Graves, a true Texan (he's Texan right? *I am having an existential crisis over this for some reason??*) is used to the heat, and is secretly sometimes reminded of home with it, so he's okay with being swarmed by human heater Nik. Price, a fucking Brit, can't stand it when he's too warm for comfort. He'd rather kill his back sleeping on the floor or their really shitty couch than be trapped with that. A second one because why not? Price always ends up being the "victim" of sexual jokes/blatant nasty flirting from Graves and Nik. He can be chilling, minding his business, and suddenly one of them says something really dirty to the other and Price, the poor thing, it's not his fault he gets so easily flustered!

Do they have any rituals? Graves has so many rituals when it's Shadow Olympics week. There's too many to count but they're all vital for his team winning, and even some of them to ensure none of his Shadows are harmed/all have fun. Nik constantly teases him for being a dad, which ends up in Graves calling himself Daddy and making Price snort his tea. Price has incredible oral hygiene, and the other two have pretty normal routines for that sort of thing. Nik's only "ritual" is the series of stretches he does before flying. It took a while for Graves to be able to witness it, so Price once recorded it and sent it to him.

Who has the most patience? Nik, a thousand times over. Price has to deal with Soap, Ghost, and Gaz on a constant basis. And those boys are so needy they can't just leave him alone during leave, either! Graves can be pretty patient, but after a long day of dealing with hyperactive Shadows and a giant techie with chronic anxiety, he gets a little snippy. Nik on the other hand? Totally chilled out like 90% of the time. He's had a couple of bad days where he'll scowl at someone annoying him and the very rare occasions that he does lose his cool. Ghost has witnessed this once, and the rant Nik was on wasn't even directed at him, but he's still traumatized by it (@cod-dump has an incorrect quotes that definitely inspired this. In fact! Mike is the fucking reason I'm obsessed with Graves now! So *angrily stomps but it's more like a cute puppy* damn you! This is your fault!)

Gif that sums up their relationship?

I dunno I tried. I searched too long and this is all I could come up with

[kendelias]

 katie’s neverending ocs 🦇   ↳ cordelia ward (✗)

Cordelia just wanted to be a normal girl. She wanted to go to school, hang out with her friends, go to Harvard, and pass the bar. But really, she was doomed from the start. Her mother, a reality TV debutante who split the moment she was born, and father, an action movie star who couldn't leave their front door without getting mauled by fans, made a normal life nearly impossible - especially when her father died, leaving his only daughter behind and totally alone. With no one left to take care of her or take her in, she ended up in foster care, eventually landing in the home of former Hollywood power couple Ronan and Marlene Ramsey. Looking to rediscover the fame they now lacked and yet desperately craved, the Ramseys packed her and her foster siblings up and moved them straight into the Palm Woods - home to the stars. While her foster parents push her siblings into the spotlight, Cordelia - or Del, as she goes by nowadays - tries desperately to stay out of it. After it took both her parents from her, she wanted nothing to do with Hollywood, not even the whacky (albeit semi-endearing) residents of the Palm Woods. For a while, it worked; her standoffish attitude and aloof persona drove everybody but her new best friend, fellow Palm Woods outcast Emerson Owens, away. She even got to go to the public school down the street instead of enrolling in the Palm Woods's joke of a school. Life isn't perfect, far from it, but hey, it could be worse. Then the newest additions to the Palm Woods arrive - the boys of Big Time Rush. Causing chaos and wreaking havoc left and right, they instantly disrupt the fragile peace maintained at the apartment complex, and unlike their neighbors, seem pretty unwilling to leave Del alone. Ever since she ran into their lead singer and (rightfully) pushed him into the pool, they've kept roping her further and further into their hijinks, turning her world completely upside down. Yet for some reason, she's drawn to Kendall Knight and his band of blundering idiots. Yes, their stupidity is astounding, and yes, they might all end up behind bars before they're 18 - but for the first time since her dad died, she finally feels alive, and that has to count for something. Don't get her wrong; she still wants to leave this town, go to Harvard, and never look back. But maybe she can have some fun in the meantime. Growing up and getting out can wait a while. After all, what's the big time rush?

[blackpilljesus]

what advice do you have for girls who found out about bp young? (like 16-24). is it better for them to try to disconnect from the harsh reality at that stage since there's so much mandatory interaction and peer pressure with males?

Dealing with the blackpill.

Before I go on I'll say that disconnecting is dangerous because what you think wont stop reality. Many women & girls come into blackpill spaces & get scared off thinking it means they have to be miserable 24/7 and while the ideology is bleak, personally being blackpilled doesnt mean you have to be miserable all the time. You can still try to craft a life you want for yourself. Use what you know about the blackpill to your advantage when dealing with moids & women. However I understand that the blackpill can be overwhelming & depressive so here's how the blackpill can be dealt with as a woman:

Reach Acceptance - When you encounter the blackpill, many tend to go through the 5 stages of grief either consecutively or at the same time. It's a cycle within a bigger cycle of grief (likely mourning the freedom most women will never have). Being able to pinpoint your feelings makes it easier to handle them. I think the blackpill is the depression stage of the wider cycle of grief when you realise the world we're in. As you go through the motions of feelings - aim for acceptance. Acceptance doesn't mean being okay with the way the world is but just recognising it for what it is which will help you move forward (accordingly).

Realise it's not your fault - We were born into a messed up situation full of issues that wasn't our fault. These problems have existed way before we were born and will exist after we die. A lot of depressive feelings towards the climate is because there's a sense of (failed) responsibility felt over things we can't control. There's highs & lows for everyone with some having more highs or lows than the other it is what it is. You can't save everyone and it's not your responsibility to as all of this goes above us.

Use what you know to your advantage - Instead of disconnecting, you can use the blackpill to make more informed decisions. I can't speak for everyone but being blackpilled is something that further affirmed that I will never have children no matter what because I would never want to bring anyone to an environment like this. Another informed choice I make based on being blackpilled is not dating maIes knowing their nature so I don't delulu myself into danger or being used. Some will say you don't need to be blackpilled for this which is true but this is what I personally think. I found peace in the blackpill realising misogyny wasn't something with me specifically but the environment we're + nature. Being blackpilled also made me wary of other women which can be a lifesaver as some women out there are also dangerous. Despite the girlboss women supporting women schtick that feminism pushes, that is not the case irl. Basically you can guard yourself better using what you know to make better informed choices on who to trust and how. For example, not wasting time getting into discourse about misogyny as you cant argue through privilege/nature. Not everyone will or has to understand but they don't need to either.

Let the blackpill guide you not control you - Many tend to be controlled by it which can also lead to feelings like anger or depression which makes their life harder so they run.

Prioritise yourself - The blackpill is about our environment. We can't control much of that but we can control ourselves. Focus on improving yourself so you dont have to rely on others much. Carve out a haven in this hell for your mental wellbeing - again dont feel responsible for saving the world. Focus on building positive things for yourself no matter how small it is, you'll need something of the sort to keep you sane. Do things you enjoy. Don't feel pressured to save others especially if they don't want to be saved. A lot of us get into political spaces at a younger age which leads some to the female blackpill at a young age & it can definitely mess up your psych. Many young people get involved in politics bc the adults around them failed them (bc it shouldn't be left to young people to sort world problems) so they're driven into politics as a result of their circumstances. Be it novelty or age many of us come into political spaces believing we can change things easily but eventually come to realise that we cant which can make us feel like crap. Maturing is realising things are complicated and out of our control which is why it's important to prioritise yourself when you're young instead. Besides whatever you can do is limited if you dont have money, power, or resources to influence circumstances.

A little bit goes a long way - If you're in a position where you're able to help another woman/girl safely then go for it if you want. Be it donating money, time, space, etc. Don't feel compelled to do this (especially if you're young) but as we can't control everything, helping a little bit in your corner of the world can have a positive impact on others and your mental wellbeing. Even though the blackpill is about doomerism you don't have to constantly mope about things. Part of what makes the doom & gloom feelings of the blackpill overwhelming is that it's easy to slip & drown in victim mentality. As much as it'll suck to hear: endless complaining or endless thinking wont help. If you can't do anything for others at least do something for yourself (point 5).

Don't have kids - Ultimately what keeps me sane is knowing I'm not adding anymore children to this hellhole. When I die the suffering in my line ends with me no way are my offspring coming here. No daughter will be birthed here by me to suffer. No maIe will be be birthed here by me to inflict suffering.

In terms of interaction with maIes: keep it short & focused if it absolutely has to happen, dont help them either but disconnecting from the blackpill wont help in this case. If anything as I said before it can help you navigate your interactions with them.

Also, read this.

[sournatromanoff]

Angels Like You

I am so excited to share the first part of my new story with you all! Each chapter coincides with a song, and this chapter’s song is “When I Dream at Night” by Marc Anthony. Feel free to listen to it, and I really hope you enjoy this 🥰

Prologue - When I Dream at Night

Walking through a field of wheat, Elvis felt more at peace than he had in a long time. No family troubles, no media riding his tail, no fans swarming him wherever he goes, and best of all, no Colonel telling him what he should be doing. He could just walk through the field for hours, feel the sun on his face and the ground beneath his feet.

There was just one thing missing, and Elvis knew exactly what it was. The girl that he would meet in these fields. She wasn’t here. Everytime she was here with him, he truly forgot about life away from this field. He was consumed by her, her soft hair, her dress flowing in the breeze. Her skin, her smile, her laugh. Her voice. God, her voice was the best thing he would ever hear. And yet, he knew that as soon as he left the field, it would all be gone. She would be gone without a trace, and he would be left once again with his normal thoughts, his anxieties.

Elvis knew he had dug himself into quite the situation. He had fallen for a girl who didn’t exist, and yet he still came back for more. Maybe it was because he couldn’t find anyone who made him feel the way she did. Or maybe, just maybe, he felt more alive when dreaming about her than he did awake, living his day to day. And he would gladly keep visiting her in dreamland, as long as he could stay by her side.

A song filled the air, shifting his reality once again. Her voice flooded into his ears, and Elvis knew she had finally arrived to bring him life once again. Her voice was sweeter than any music he heard, more heart wrenching than an aria. Her melody filled him with such passion, such joie de vivre. Even with his own love of music, nothing was quite like her. He could listen to her for as long as the universe let him, and he would.

Elvis watched as she came into view, singing a song that he couldn’t hear the words of, and yet he seemed to understand perfectly. He listened as her slight rasp ran through the words to the song, the melody seemingly coming from her soul, all the way out of her mouth.

As she got closer, Elvis could finally hear the words. I only feel alive when I dream at night. Even though she’s not real, it’s alright. It was as if she was reading his mind, reading into his soul. He walked over to meet her, the song he heard from her fading when he stopped in front of her. He reached out his hand to brush against hers, and Elvis felt the telltale shock of energy when she grabbed onto his hand with her own. He looked down at her face, glowing in the sunlight, and saw the smile etched onto her lips. Her teeth shone in the daylight like porcelain, and her eyes were galaxies that held the secrets to the universe, and Elvis wanted to learn each and every one of them.

There were so many things Elvis had wanted to say to her, so many things he thought about during his waking moments. And yet, being here with her now, all of those thoughts vanished as he gazed upon her beauty. He knew he’d find a different moment for those words, but for now, he’d rather just keep her company in the fields of his dreams.

Elvis watched as she guided him to a tree at the end of the wheat field, sitting down before gesturing for him to sit with her. As soon as he sat down, she moved to lay on his lap. The two stayed like that for a while, before she started singing again. Elvis listened as she sang, finally able to distinguish more lyrics. I only feel alive when I dream at night. Every move that she makes holds my eyes. And I fall for her everytime. He almost chuckled at the song, the irony of it not being lost on him. Elvis was only ever truly alive when he was dreaming of her, dreaming of being with her. Even with all their talking, he never knew her name. But, he supposed, if she wasn’t real, there was no need for her to have one.

The girl on his lap kept singing, shifting a bit so that she was looking up at him, her back even on his lap. Her hand moved to touch his face, caressing him as if he would disappear if she were too harsh with her touches. Elvis began to run his own hand through her hair, scratching at her scalp as he went. She sighed at the feeling, switching to humming the rest of her song before finally finishing. She gazed up into his eyes, watching as the blue nebulas swirled with admiration and passion.

“Your eyes are filled with such depth, Elvis. I could get lost in them forever.” The girl laid a hand on his cheek, gazing into his eyes. “Sometimes I wonder, though, what else is behind them? You always look so sad when I see you.” Elvis sighed, moving his hand up to grasp hers, still at his cheek. “I just wish I could be here with you all the time, angel. I only ever feel alive when I’m here with you. Like everything else just…falls away, I suppose.” She gave a small chuckle, and Elvis furrowed his brow. “What is it?” She sighed happily. “Nothing, it’s just that, I feel exactly the same way. Like even though this is only temporary, it’s the one thing I look forward to anymore. Seeing you.”

It was Elvis’ turn to chuckle. “I could say the same thing, darling. But angels like you can’t fly down here with me. Not for long. Maybe that’s why we can only stay like this. Stay dreaming.” He knew she wasn’t real. He knew this was his subconscious playing a trick. But he still wanted to stay with her, have her wrapped in his arms.

The girl on his lap sighed softly. “Have you ever thought that maybe you’re the angel here? Maybe you were sent for me, not the other way around.” Elvis opened his mouth, ready to ask what she could possibly mean, when he heard a voice call out for him. “Elvis. Elvis!”

Elvis woke up with a start. He was face down in bed, his mother shaking him awake. When he rolled over to face her, his mother smiled at him. “Finally, satnin. I was about to get your father in here to wake you. I swear, sometimes you sleep like the dead. It’s time to wake up, we’ve got a big day planned for you. And to think, you’re finally 22!”

As his mother walked out of his bedroom and down the stairs, Elvis laid back, wishing he could go back to sleep. “Another year, Another day waiting to go back to see her.”

~~~~

Hearing a banging on her door, Y/N awoke abruptly. Moaning softly, she got out of bed before opening her apartment door. When she did, she saw her band mate and best friend Dolly with an annoyed look on her face. “We have 2 hours to get to the Mint, and you’re napping? I get you’ve been having trouble sleeping, but today’s important. It’s our first show!” Sighing, Y/N opened the door for Dolly to enter the apartment. “I’m sorry, Dolly. I wasn’t trying to make us late. I set an alarm and everything, I swear. I just…needed an extra boost.” The singer sat down before grabbing her song book and writing down a line from her dream. “And if you were really worried, you could’ve used the key I gave you. It’s for emergencies, after all.”

Dolly sat down next to Y/N, watching as her friend wrote. “Another Elvis dream, I’m guessing? You always write the saddest stuff after having them. This has to be the third time this week alone.” Getting up to change into her outfit for the show, Y/N nodded in acknowledgment. “I know, I probably should see a sleep therapist or something. But whenever I dream of him, it just fuels my music, you know? I know exactly what I should be writing, and I know what I’m supposed to be doing. things become clear when I’m with him. Is that totally crazy? It’s like I’m meant to be dreaming of him for whatever reason.”

Grabbing her boots, Y/N listened as her friend responded. “I don’t think it’s totally crazy. But I do think it’s concerning that you keep dreaming of a dead rockstar every other night, and that it’s how you get your muse. There are other ways for you to find a muse, Y/N. You just need some help finding it again, I think.” The singer nodded along, listening as the bassist gave her thoughts on the matter. “Ok. Maybe tonight will help me find some inspiration. Why don’t we get going, and I’ll try to forget about all of these dreams for the night?”

Y/N grabbed her keys before leading Dolly down the stairs of the complex to her car, singing a song. As she sang, she avoided her friend’s gaze. She knew this wasn’t forgetting, but she also knew she would never be able to get the dreams of her hero and crush out of her head no matter how hard she tried.

‘Cause I only feel alive when I dream at night. Even though he’s not real, it’s alright….

[valandhirwriter]

Gaunter o'Dimm (because I was asked about him and ... well), Rand al'Thor and uuuuuuh Bilbo 😂

Now, that's an interesting set of characters you chose.

Let's start

Gaunter O'Dimm

How I feel about this character: I honestly dislike the character, concept and all. The GoD wordplay was way too obvious, and I felt he didn't really fit the world as a whole.

That being said, he is a wonderful excuse, as there was one God-like being in the world, one can now go and work in other deities, or deity-like beings and no one can say that such things don't exist in canon.

As a person I dislike Gaunter, he's a putz.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Only those I would wish severely punished. Radovid and other monsters can happily have a tumble with Gaunter and then die painfully from his schemes.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: All the Hags from Aretuza.

My unpopular opinion about this character: he's lame. One of the lamest versions of Devil Pact one could write.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. Gaunter being proven a fraud. Just a person playing with peoples fears and having delusions of grandeur.

Rand al'Thor

How I feel about this character: I like his character arc, as the readers we get to witness him growing from that farmboy, to a hero, to a leader, and to a man who transcends reality. He goes on this incredible journey, but a part of him always remains that boy from the two Rivers, even when he retrieves the memories of his former life. While he is not my favourite character in WoT, he is one I always rooted for.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: his canon ships: Min/Elayne/Aviendha, and my secret guilty pleasure is Rand al'Thor/Galad Trakand. And yes, I know that would be inknowing incest, as they share the same mother.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Perrin Aybara and Lan al'Mandragoran.

Lan and Rand share so many things, both had to rise to leadership young, Rand as the dragon reborn and Lan as the King of a destroyed nation, and both never could escape their war with the Dark One. Rand says in the end that Lan taught him how to stand tall, and that's so true.

Perrin is Rand's childhood friend and steadfast support. I could see him even as a romantic option for Rand, though his role as the solid friend on whom Rand could always rely is easily as strong. There is a dichotomy in their arcs, as Rand embraces being the Dragon Reborn (eventually) while Perrin struggles with being a Lord and a Leader for most of the story. he doesn't want people to follow him, but they do, because Perrin is a solid leader and Perrin with the banner of Manetheren is just... yes!!

My unpopular opinion about this character: I think most readers will agree that he is as stubborn as a dozen mules, so that doesn't count. His eternal distrust for anything Aes Sedai is also somewhat annoying, but most fans will agree there too.

My personal gripe with him is the multitude of girls he has. Lady Selene, Elayne, Aviendha, Min... that's such teenager wish-fullfilment, it is annoying.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. Oh there are many, I will leave it with two.

Him and Galad talking after Tarmon Gai'don. Gawyn told Galad that Galad had a half brother, so their encounter would be great. Before Tarmon Gai'don would even be better (if Galad could receive the information) because the Lord Captain Commander of the Children of Light and the Dragon Reborn would be a match made in Chaos.

Rand and Tam finding each other again after Tarmon Gai'don. Tam deserves to know that while Rand's body died on Shayol Ghul, Rand's soul did not. But I console myself that Tam may find peace in protecting Elayne's children, and thus getting to know his grandchildren.

Bilbo Baggins

How I feel about this character: I love Bilbo. The reluctant adventurer, always wishing he could be home again. His movie portrayal I also loved.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: usually none. Bilbo is one of those character who's eternal bacherlorhood is firmly engrained in the story. Though I did enjoy reading some rarepairs, paring Bilbo with Bofur or Dwalin.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: canon: Dwalin. Best friends forever. My AU: Kili - friends to hell and back.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I do not believe Bilbo could just come home and live his quiet life after all that he saw and lived through. Especially with the canon ending where Thorin, Fili and Kili died and Bilbo was bound to feel guilty about it. I cannot see Bilbo coming home and living whole and hearty, with all the nightmares (the "horrors in the halls of stone") he has lived through, including the battle of the five armies.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. I would have loved to see more of Bilbo's own adventures. See him travel, experience more things. He was fairly free in using the ring to hide, so the means to have him survive some crazy shit would have been right there. In my AU I tookl my own spin on this by Bilbo returning to Erebor.

[itwasthisorthemilitary]

April 5, 2024

Judgement day.

And I couldn’t be happier that my bracket was SO wrong. I hate to admit it, Francisco crushed this.

On April 18th I will be headed to Los Cañones, Panama Oeste. Approx population 200-250. Super rural. Electricity will be an issue but cell service and water are pretty reliable. Xavier knows the town and told me that there’s an orange orchard, a big river, and lots of kids. I’m only about 30 minutes away from Los Mortales.

Along with me in Panama Oeste are 🥁🥁🥁

CAITLIN, Sam, Maddy, Sophie, and Janet. It’s a motherfucking SQUAD. I’m so excited. When the big reveal happened and we all flipped our folders over, Caitlin and I were standing next to each other and it was the most relief I’ve ever felt. That girl is gonna be my neighbor the rest of my life i swear to god. I never believed I’d be in the same region as her and now I’m letting myself be excited. And let me tell you…our families are FREAKING OUT. They are so happy because we are so close. They all cried. Sughedys told me that if i hate my new family i can just come live with her again and we don’t have to tell the Peace Corps anything.

THEN in my packet of information, they mentioned the name of the last volunteer who was in this site, pre covid. Naturally i found him on Instagram in about 7 seconds and started messaging him. He returned to Panama after his service was terminated early due tot he pandemic and now he runs a hotel in Veraguas, Panama. So essentially, he’s amazing. He’s been messaging me all night and says he still goes back to visit Los Cañones because they’re his family now. Every message he sends just elevates this to such a new level of realness. He and his brother are going to visit me the day after I move there to show me around and introduce me to people.

Today felt insane. The anxiety and nerves and energy was really stressful and although I couldn’t be happier and was so relieved, the comedown from all the emotions made me jittery and exhausted. I’m nowhere near Audrey, Liv, or Carlo. We all are making plans to see each other but who knows the reality of how well we will execute those plans. Liv is so far and I know she’s scared because she’s hours away from other volunteers, whereas i can walk to Sam in less than an hour. I’m tempering my excitement around her, but she knows that’s what I’m doing and there’s no way to diminish her fears until she’s there and it all works out. Geographically she’s got one of the coolest sites, so i intend on keeping my visiting pact.

Feeling crazy, and sleep doesn’t want to greet me again. Unfortunate considering I’m headed to Panama City at 6 am tomorrow.

[althea-and-alcestris]

Role to play

So Malleus's UM fails to work on Thea as intended for the first time. She ends up like Ortho, her body is asleep but she's able to travel between dreams like Silver. She follows them to Lilia's dream and the events go down the same. But what if when they're finally able to break out of the dream to battle Malleus, she manages to anger him enough for him to send her into a deeper sleep. This time the spell works and she finds herself back home in her own world. Back in the family house, waking up in her bed as her mother gently nudges her awake. Going down the stairs of the mansion she's greeted by her father and her two older siblings, awaiting her with smiles on their faces. No cold stares, no silence, no judgemental comments. Just..peace. She's not expected more than she can take, she's not hurt neither physically nor verbally and she has her mother by her side. It all seems too good to be true. But she can't shake off this feeling of emptiness, like something is missing. Of course, in this reality she was never supposed to meet her friends or Sebek but she doesn't know that. All she knows is that there's this void that she cannot explain.

Her little life goes so well, people are proud of her and she's loved like she always wanted, yet something feels off. Something isn't right. And when she goes to sleep after one of these days..

,,Althea! You need to wake up! Now!"

An unfamiliar voice calls out to her in her sleep. Looking around she finds herself in a dark place like a void and infront of her stands a girl that looks just like her. It's like she's seen her before. But how does she know her name?

,,This is not reality! It's hard to accept but this is all a lie spun into fairydust. Please wake up!"

Suddenly, Thea's head begins to ache badly, stumbling around in one place, disoriented. Her real memories start flashing infront of her eyes, the truth about what really happened in this family. All the tragedy, the loss, the secrets kept behind closed doors. It hurts so much..she doesn't want to accept any of it. That's when she feels a pair of hands grab onto her shoulders.

,,I know it hurts. I can feel your pain but it's a bitter truth you must accept."

,,No! I don't want to! I want to stay here!"

,,Thea listen to me.."

,,But I--"

,,Listen!"

At that point she looks up at the girl identical to her with teary eyes

,,All of this had to happen for you to be where you are right now. Surrounded by those who love you in this world you belong to. You're the light in so many lives..don't throw it all away for a false reality that could never come true."

And she has to realize that this girl is right. All of her suffering, the sacrifices she made and the effort she put in she had done it all for them. All of them. She's come so far, made so many friends, found a lover, a family..she can't just give it all up for something she thinks she wants. She finally takes the hand offered to her, the one that will lead her out of the dream realm. She has a role to play and people to save.

[the-ultimate-muses]

“D-don’t start stupid rumors! He’s obviously not that kind of guy!!” All it took was a comment or two from a green-haired girl in another section, digging into Gundham’s honor, and the mechanic was set off. “If we’re talking weirdos, most of the people in the school have colorful personalities! And some not the good kind!! At least Gundham has common sense… s-sometimes. Like, he’s a really reliable person to go to, and he’s kinda… sweet, if you get to know him! I mean yeah, he’s mostly like that towards animals… b-but he can be like that with some people, too. For someone that claims to be an evil overlord, he’s… really nice…”

At this point, he was just muttering it to himself, but was snapped back to reality when he noticed the girl narrowing her eyes at him. “A-anyways! Don’t call him a freak over nothing! You don’t know anything about him at all!!”

Gundham was no stranger to such comments about his person, no matter what the subject be; his personality, his looks, the general way he conducted himself, it was all up for scrutiny when others were feeling unkind. It had always been so, as a child, and all through his younger life up until this very moment. It hurt, yes, but he'd long since made peace with it. People were always going to talk, to assume they knew what couldn't be further from their grasp, and those people weren't worth his time. What they said didn't matter, not really. If anything, it helped weed out anyone who would be a waste of his time to interact with, not that there were many that were worth his time, it would seem...

No, overhearing the conversation from below him, the breeder having been lounging in a tree in the courtyard, simply enjoying the day, that hadn't surprised him, only getting a scoff and a roll of his eyes before he went back to the book he'd been reading.

What had been surprising, enough so that he almost dropped his book, was hearing Kazuichi of all people coming to his defense. They got along, sure, but he never would have guessed the mechanic would defend him even when he wasn't there to hear it. It brought a smile to his face, it pointlessly hidden behind his scarf as he listened to his classmates ramble on, only deciding to make his presence known when he seemed to flounder.

With a sigh, he tucked the book into an inner pocket of his coat, the leaves giving a slight rustle as he manuved his way upright before jumping from his perch. Boots landing with a heavy thud, it brought a grin to his face, seeing everyone around him jump at the sudden fright.

"Pardon the interuption, your conversation sounded so fascingating, I simply couldn't help myself." Eyes first flicking to Kaz, Gundham shot him a wink before turning his full attention onto the girl who thought she'd gone unheard by him. He always loved to see their fear when they realized he had been listening to every word, most people's confidence fading away the moment they were face to face with the person of their grevience. "Please, do continue. Simply remember that nothing you say ever truly goes unheard. You must pay mind to your words, if you do not wish the wrong party to hear."

[charmedreincarnation]

hi i think i realise the thing i’m most afraid of when it comes to tapping in the void. I realise that anything and everything is possible. I have seen crazy “illogical” success stories and some of them have nothing to do with the void. Like i have come across at least 3 sex change stories (without void) and i remember just how happy they all sounded in their success stories.

I don’t have anything “crazy” on my void list per say, like all my desires seem very natural to me.

I know bloggers are tired of answering “can i manifest” questions like when i see them answer it, i in unison answer with them as i read them on my tl “YES ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE” But….

This is my fear-

I have never worked a day in my life and there’s a certain kind of job i want to be working, basically revising “i have been working at this place since over a year and i’m also moving for this job” so of course with this also goes “i have all the necessary resources, knowledge, contacts, basically anything i need” to be efficient at my job. “i even have the coolest boss and colleagues, if it’s possible for some people to love their job and their boss and their colleagues, I CAN HAVE IT TOO” this is my inner monologue lol when i have intrusive thoughts. Lol i think i should make it clear that my job doesn’t need a degree. I’m not trying to be a doc or a nurse😭😂

I guess what i’m asking for, from you is, reassurance like YES GIRL YOU WILL WAKE UP WITH YOUR DREAM JOB, IT IS NOT SCARY, YOU WON’T SUCK AT IT

I’m the same anon that told you i feel peace knowing i already have everything i desire. You told me it’s upto me how fast my delivery is going to be. “If it’s express shipping” (Of course i’d like to think that it’s express shipping but this one fear i mentioned isn’t truly allowing for me to have my shipment yet.)

I have even started my t- deadline for when i’m going to be flying out. I see myself doing daily chores at my new apartment, driving to my office with my fav playlist.

It’s crazy how i feel like i have made it and when i was having just even a tiny amount of fear, i see my tl is flooded with you and other bloggers reassuring that shifting is very much real. (just what i needed)

Thank you so much charm, and to each and every blogger who goes out of the way to help STRANGERS live their dream lives. I’m so grateful i found loa and you all. (I already am practising giving my thanks to all of you sweet souls as i send in my success story *wink wink* haha)

Hello I think this is the ask! It's great to hear that you've been exploring the possibilities of tapping into the void and manifesting your dreams. It's completely understandable to have some fears and doubts, but remember that anything is possible and you have the power to create the reality you desire.

You already have a clear idea of the job you want and the type of work environment you envision. Keep focusing on those positive aspects and affirming to yourself that you have everything you need to be successful in this job. Visualize yourself already in the job, feeling confident and enjoying your work. This will help to shift your energy towards that reality.Just let go of any fears or doubts that may be holding you back. Trust that the universe will bring you the opportunities and resources you need to manifest your desires, but it already seems you’re doing that haha.

And yes girl it’s real all of it. no matter how minuscule or large. All though i have had some big awesome manifestion, my favorite one is always getting all As with minimal effort even though it doesn’t make sense that I do. Most college students take 3-5 hours a day to studying and homework and I just watch Netflix all day and sleep hehe, and browse tumblr occasionally when I’m not hanging out with my friends. I also manifested a six figure job at 18 when I didn’t even know my major yet, or had any qualifications. I chose not to work there bc I’m liking life on easy mode and you should too and you’re already doing the work to achieve that. Idk what you needed from this ask but you’re already slaying and know what you want and you’re going to get it.

[anonil88]

Under the bridge (hulu) finale liveblog/reaction

- Jo is an asshole and Kelly is just stupidly vile as hell.

- I will say these young actors are all good as hell and have acted their be hinds off.

- I couldn't be in a gang cause I would roll my eyes so fast and just leave before one speech.

- Oooo "Mercy Alone" is a cold ass title. Pop off writers.

- He really became like a little brother and she is wrestling with getting wrapped up in the momentum kind of like Warren did.

- Thank god this house is getting shut down even though I'm sure they did goor and I appreciate that we finally see Cam in this house. We never saw her as a teen in the house and only an outsider looking in. But, now she's in it.

- Sigh they shouldn't have lied about that.

- Fuck you Kelly.

- Lmfao she said "ain't you a cop?" but this isn't just cam the cop this is cam the former 7 oaks girl. Kelly set them all up the minute they got to that police station knowing none of those girls had options or legal resources except for her. She was an awful friend if they can even call her that and did an evil action. What amug ass, fuck.

- Good job Cam, her relationship or not, its not yours to manipulate the hell. That's her symbiotic relationship.

- Well he ain't wrong Becca, you involved yourself the minute you walked into seven oaks.

- The more realistic non hear say versions of the fight is horrible. Teenagers are led by their short impulses and peer pressure. Easier to say "I don't know" than no, and thats not an age thing that I'd a human thing.

- Again these young actors are fan fucking tastic. I hope and wish them all to get many roles post this show. So nice to see budding quality talent.

- It's just a case to her dad but to his daughter it's her life. It could have been her if it was 30 years before. He sees what he wants to see but not the reality outside of his own. You're her dad but this is something she will now wrestle with her entire life and could've been prevented. There's other ways like as soon as she's in your care tell her about where she came from and ask if she'd like to establish a relationship or connection with her family and community. Delayed her sense of self, for what?

- Grief has finally hit her mom, Suman, whereas it hit dad the minute his daughter was missing. The minute the cops showed up he knew it in his gut. I hope the real Virks have gotten so much healing and peace in their life since then. The grief will never leave any of them and it is likely embedded into every moment, but I hope they have found some peace.

- The right person. Whew great direction here 👏🏾.

- A little kindness goes a long way and can change your entire life. I say it often but a lot of crimes no matter the age of the assailant are made by very angry children. Some are trying to inflict the same pain onto others or release their own. Others well others just are too angry to do anything outside of anger.

- Insanity plea? No, she's just got no kindness in her heart.

- What a sweet baby, sigh he doesn't really understand why they're all dressing up.

- Cam looks great out of a uniform.

- 5 years, in actuality she got way more later, and he who feels remorse for what he did got life. I'm talking about the initial rulings, not what occurred after of people gettibg more time or getting paroled. Kelly here only feels upset that she was caught.

- Sit with a bunch of fuck ass dickheads. No. Ayyyy cam out of uniform !!! We love to see it!

- I love that they end on a cordial note and found the beauty. The beauty of giving yourself mercy and trying to forge a new path.

- Becca's shoes and jeans look like a little kids. He really did just slip 😢.

- Jo and Kelly. Nah Nicole and Kelly, them real hoes are birds of a feather. I hope someone calls them cunts to their faces at least once a month. From prison cell to 9-5 them two are nasty pieces of work. Took Kelly another infraction and two kids to go huh okay let me finally admit my guilt now. Now that my fate is sealed.

- Ooo that end got me, i aint cry but ooo i teared up as soon as the cd skipped. R.i.p Reena Virk, i wish you had better friends. Real friends.

Final thoughts:

- Fantastic end to this show and phenomenal acting from everyone involved. Not just this episode but the entire season the acting has been metered so well even if i missed it at first. The soundtrack and editing in every episode has been so good. Timing of certain tracks and score was really effective in swallowing the viewer these last 3/4 episodes. Absolutely fantastic finale.