#“its protocol” my ASS you just have a bad back

[liixlabrat]

making lancelot suffer my current fate

[callsign-rogueone]

call me yours

Brennan Sorrengail x childhood friend! reader [request] words: 1.6k 🏷️: very intimate, but still sfw, set mid iron flame, you’re Mira’s bestie since childhood and grew up with her and Brennan, Bren is touch starved and down atrociously bad (we love pathetic men in this house!) if you're familiar with the grishaverse, you kinda have the powers of a heartrender — can sense and control others’ vital signs. 

The third floor, at the end of the hall, they’d told you, and surely enough, there he is: Lieutenant Colonel Aisereigh, seated at a desk in what appears to be his office. He looks exactly how you always picture him in memories and dreams — just older, his face slightly hardened, the light scruff on his jaw making him look less boyish, and more like the army commander he’s become in the years you’ve been apart.

He still has the same stiff posture as he examines a roll of parchment, that little crease of concentration between his eyebrows… You could stand here all night, just soaking up the sight, but that still wouldn’t be enough. And now that you’re finally reunited, your twenty-year-old self’s prayers answered…

You gather up the courage to knock on the doorframe.

He looks up from his papers, humming lazily, and then his heart nearly stops at the sight of you. There’s a flurry of emotion across his face before he finally speaks. “I just got my nose fixed, so I’d prefer it if you hit me somewhere else,” he says by way of greeting, giving you a pained smile.

You return it. “You know I could never hurt you, Bren— I probably shouldn’t be calling you Brennan anymore, should I?”

“Please. Call me anything but Lieutenant Colonel.”

You smile. “Brennan it is. And I’m really sorry about that, by the way. She never left the ‘anger’ stage.”

“That’s fair. I probably wouldn’t have, either.”

You finally step forward, entering the office and taking a look around. “Nice digs.”

He’s definitely going to need something stronger than his long-since-abandoned mug of tea if this conversation is going to last much longer. “Whiskey?”

That same mischievous grin that he remembers splits your face. “Always.”

He pushes up from his chair, taking a half-full bottle out of the cabinet along with two glasses.

“So, fill me in on this new life of yours,” you prod, shrugging off your jacket and draping it over the back of your chair before settling in. “Wife? Kids?”

“Nope. Just Marbh.”

You remember hearing that Marbh wasn’t the warm and fuzzy type, either. “Must be lonely.”

He shrugs. “Staying busy helps. What about you, Major? You have a husband hidden away somewhere?”

You roll your eyes at his use of your rank, flashing him your left hand — no wedding ring. “No, I do not. And I hate that title. They gave it to me as an apology, not because I earned it.”

He hands you a glass, frowning. “I’ve never known the Navarrian military to apologize. What for?”

“For almost killing me and my entire company — sending us right into a drift of gryphons. I let them take me so that everyone else could escape. But that’s what all the torture training was for, right?” you ask over the rim of your glass.

He doesn’t laugh. “When was that?” 

The whiskey burns its way down your throat, and you sigh in relief — this is exactly what you needed after the fifteen hour flight from Montserrat. “A few months ago. Mira saved my sorry ass. Broke protocol to come get me, because-”

“—Navarre doesn’t negotiate for hostages,” he finishes for you. “I’m so sorry, kid.”

You mime taking a knife to the heart, twisting it and pulling it back out for dramatic effect. “Kid? And here I thought I had a chance.”

Something shifts in his body language, in his eyes, in the air of the room. “What do you mean by that?” he asks, deathly quiet.

“You know what I mean,” you reply, your eyes not leaving his for a second, even as you take another sip.

“I need to hear you say it.”

You rise from the chair and set down your glass, resting your palms on the edge of his desk and leaning forward slightly — it’s giant, so you’re still two feet away, but you’ve definitely crossed the threshold of his personal space, ignored the rigid line that’s supposed to separate the great Lieutenant Colonel from the rest of his army. It has the intended effect: his gaze immediately falls to the exposed curve of your shoulders and the green of your relic that spreads over your bicep, dipping down to the low neckline of the tank top you’re wearing before he looks back at your face, his cheeks sufficiently reddened.

“Surely you know I’ve always had a little puppy crush on you, Bren, ever since Mira and I met. You always saw me as your little sister’s tagalong friend, but I had this idea that once I graduated from Basgiath, you’d see me as a woman, a dragon rider… I know you can put the rest together yourself. You’ve always been too smart for your own good.” This punctuated with a cunning smile that makes him squirm a little.

“You are certainly both of those things now,” he says carefully, adjusting a stack of papers on the desk. He’s sweating, his blood pressure elevated, his breathing shallow… but he’s not going to break. 

You give him a sad smile. “But you’re too good of a guy, too proper of a Lieutenant Colonel to do anything about it now. I promise I won’t let it get in the way of our professional relationship. I understand. We do have a war to wage, after all. In another life, maybe.”

“In this life.”

Oh? 

Your eyebrows raise. “Are you sure about that, Lieutenant Colonel?”

“I thought I told you not to call me that,” he tries, but it comes out much weaker than he’d intended.

You round the corner of the desk, stepping forward. You’re definitely in his space now. “What do you want me to call you?”

It takes him a moment to gather the courage. “Yours.” 

You blink at him.

“Call me yours,” he rasps. “I always have been.”

You can’t contain the smile. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” It’s a weak whisper, a quiet plea for you to claim him after all these years. 

You reach out, cradling his jaw in a soft hand. He shivers at the touch, but leans into the warmth of your palm nonetheless, looking up at you with stars in those gorgeous amber eyes. “I would love nothing more than to call you mine, Brennan Sorrengail.” 

If it’s the admission, the touch, or you saying his name — his real name — that makes his heart flutter, you’ll never know.

“When she told me that you were here, that you were alive… all I could think about was that I wasn’t going to miss my chance with you again.” You take another step closer, standing between his legs, and guide him into a gentle embrace, your thumb brushing over his cheek tenderly. You slide your other hand up to the back of his neck, working your fingers through his hair, and he melts, nuzzling his cheek into your shoulder like a contented housecat. 

You hadn’t even used your signet, but he’s already falling asleep on you. That’s good. He probably hasn’t slept well in a while, if the dark circles under his eyes are any indicator. 

You start to pull back, but his eyes fly back open, his fingers digging into the soft fabric of your shirt. “Shh,” you soothe, reaching out with a tendril of your power, and he calms near immediately. “It’s okay, sweet boy. I’m not going anywhere.”

He hasn’t been a boy in years — since before he started at Basgiath — but he’d let you call him anything as long as you said it in that soft voice, and looked at him with such adoration, touched him so gently… nobody’s held him like this since he was a child.

You continue stroking his hair, speaking softly. “I was just gonna suggest that we both get some sleep. In a real bed.”

He considers it for a moment, and then with a shaking exhale, slowly lets go of you. You take a cautious step back, but his heartbeat remains steady. Good. You extend a hand to him, and he takes it silently, interlacing his fingers with yours as he rises from his office chair, wincing at the ache in his back and shoulders.

The hallways aren’t as deserted as you’d thought they’d be at this hour, but none of the cadets or officers bat an eye at the sight of the two of you holding hands. He doesn’t say a word as he leads you across the fortress, stopping in front of what has to be the door to his room. It’s incredibly close to yours, actually -- they’d given the higher ranking officers the nicer guest rooms, and put all the cadets in the barracks.

“Brennan,” you say softly, “is it okay if I go get some clean clothes, and take a shower first? I promise I’ll be quick.”

He blinks at you once, twice, realizing what you mean -- you’d thought you’d be spending the night. 

You see it dawn on him, and you continue before he can say anything, a little embarrassed. “If you want me to. I know that’s… a lot.”

“Yeah,” he says softly. “I’d like that.”

You give him a soft smile, squeezing his hand gently before you let go of it. “Ten minutes, tops.”

He must have done the same, because when he opens the door for you, his hair looks damp, slightly mussed from having a towel rubbed over it. 

Neither of you say anything as you climb into his bed, gravitating toward each other like magnets. You fit together well, his head tucked into your shoulder and his arm around your waist, your legs intertwined. You can feel his heartbeat slowing, his breaths deepening… 

For the first time since he died, it takes him less than two minutes to fall asleep.

[marvelousels]

THE GRAVITY OF YOU

FIRST CONTACT | 1

authors note: currently obsessing over that one caitvi nasa fic, so i just decided to write a quick little something, lmk if yall want me to continue (probably no one)

pairings: caitlyn x vi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

hello? by clairo (ft rejje snow) playing!

Vi had never been one for rules, which was why it was kind of hilarious that she now worked for an organization with "Aeronautics and Space Administration" in the title. NASA wasn’t exactly known for its leniency when it came to reckless behavior, but somehow, she’d landed a spot as a mission specialist. She blamed Vander. He always said she should put her energy toward something bigger than herself.

And space was pretty damn big.

But she wasn’t the only one who took this job seriously. Caitlyn Kiramman, lead flight director, was a stickler for protocol. She was precise, intelligent, and—to Vi’s eternal amusement—completely incapable of tolerating her disregard for rules.

The first time they met, Vi had been leaning back in a chair at orientation, arms crossed, smirking while the trainers droned on about safety regulations. She caught sight of Caitlyn, standing at the front of the room in her neatly pressed uniform, dark hair pulled into a sleek ponytail. Everything about her screamed discipline. The way she listed off procedures, her sharp blue eyes scanning the room, the way she carried herself like she could handle anything NASA threw at her.

Vi had made it her mission to make her crack.

“You look like you got the stickiest stick up your ass,” Vi had whispered during a break, sidling up next to Caitlyn at the coffee station. “Must be exhausting.”

Caitlyn had barely spared her a glance, stirring her coffee with infuriating patience. “And you look like you take nothing seriously. Must be dangerous.”

Vi had laughed. “Only for people who don’t trust me.”

That was months ago. Now, Vi was one of the best mission specialists NASA had, and Caitlyn—whether she liked it or not—had to work with her on almost every assignment. Their relationship had settled into something of a routine: Caitlyn scolded her, Vi teased her, and somehow, everything got done perfectly in the end.

But something was different about this mission.

This time, Vi wasn’t just another cog in the machine. She was set to be part of Piltover-9, an upcoming lunar mission that had everyone at NASA buzzing. And Caitlyn? She was the one leading Mission Control.

“Piltover-9, this is Mission Control. Status check.”

Caitlyn’s voice crackled through Vi’s headset, cool and professional as always.

Vi smirked, adjusting the panel in front of her. “Control, this is Vi. All systems are green, looking good.”

A pause. Then, a sigh. “For the last time, you need to use proper protocol.”

“You’re no fun, cupcake.”

“I have a job to do, and so do you,” Caitlyn shot back, irritation laced in the crisp accent Vi had grown to adore. “Now, confirm your final diagnostics before launch.”

Vi rolled her eyes but scanned the numbers anyway. Thrusters were good, oxygen levels optimal, everything running smooth. It was kind of a miracle, considering how fast she’d had to run pre-checks. Not that she’d admit it, but Caitlyn’s meticulous nature saved her ass more times than she could count.

“Diagnostics confirmed. We’re golden, Control.”

“…Thank you,” Caitlyn said, and Vi could practically hear her rolling her eyes.

“Don’t sound too happy about it, now.”

“I’m sure I’ll find a way to contain my enthusiasm,” Caitlyn deadpanned. “I suppose I should be grateful you didn’t improvise the checklist.”

“Come on, you know I like to keep you on your toes.”

“More like give me a premature heart attack.”

Vi chuckled, stretching in her seat. “If you wanted my attention so bad, sweetheart, you could’ve just asked.”

Caitlyn went silent for a moment, and Vi swore she could feel the exasperation through the comms. “I will personally ensure you remain on Earth for the rest of your career if you keep this up.”

“Oof, that’s cold. And here I thought we had something special.”

“Vi.”

“Yeah, yeah. Focusing.” Vi grinned, biting back another remark, and let the silence settle. The countdown had begun, and her heart pounded faster. Adrenaline surged, thrumming in her veins. Through the static and the distant, muted voices of mission control, Caitlyn’s voice was the only one that mattered.

Then, quieter, almost as if she didn’t want the others to hear—“Be safe up there, Vi.”

The words settled in Vi’s chest, warm despite the void she was about to plunge into.

She grinned, strapping in as the engines roared to life. “Always, cupcake. You better miss me.”

And then, with a force that stole the breath from her lungs, she was gone—propelled into the stars, Caitlyn’s voice still echoing in her ear.

[taylorkellyreporting]

i hope no one minds if i inconsistently liveblog this bitch: doctor who season one from 1x04

1x04

HELLO??

A WHOLE YEAR???

shit

“you’re 900 years old?” “yeah.” “my mum was right, that is one hell of an age gap.” lmfaooo

“i’m the only person who knows it exists.” spoke too soon

damn, he left her. i wonder if the key he gave her was even real.

it was a pig 😭

OH NOOOO

every time they get separated, shit goes off the rails

IS HE GONNA KILL HER MOM?!

1x05

girl, FUCK the emergency protocols

“sorry.” 😭

that shit was intense

“my mother’s cooking.” “good, put her on a slow heat and let her simmer.” CACKLING

i feel so bad for her mom :(

1x06

this episode really is…something.

why the fuck is the doctor just offering up all of this information???

he really should have seen this coming

*pretends to be shocked*

their cockiness is gonna get them killed

i never want rose and the doctor to be separated EVER again

“what use are emotions if you won’t save the woman that you love?” damn

don’t know how i feel about this dude joining them

1x07

“he’s your boyfriend.” “not anymore.” did i miss something???

something’s wrong…

is that guy dead?

i don’t trust adam at all

rose is so stupid. i could understand if it was mickey she was trusting but she doesn’t even know this man

huh, that was unexpected.

what the actual fuck

1x08

this ep’s gonna be so sad

the doctor never should’ve taken her to that day

“alright, i’ll tell him you’re not my boyfriend.” obsessed with her thinking that was the issue 😭

not important but jackie looks really good with her hair like that

well. that was heartbreaking.

1x09

sorry, but if a kid wearing a fucking plague mask was repeatedly saying “mummy” in an eerie voice, i would have turned and walked the other way. r.i.p. to rose but i’m different

what part of “don’t answer it.” is hard to understand? lmao

“excellent bottom.” gross.

i know i sound like a broken record but what the fuck?!

this is one creepy ass episode

this dude is coming on so strong dkgjgks

“finally, a professional.” rose, be serious.

“they’re not dead.” okay.

girl, what the fuck?

1x10

i can’t believe that worked lmfaooo

“those would’ve been terrible last words.” 😭

“half this street thinks your missus must be messing about with mr haverstock, the butcher. but she’s not, is she? you are.” SCREAMING

“i sent it to its room. this is its room.”

that’s fucking terrifying

“the first day i met him, he blew my job up. that’s practically how he communicates.” pls

“okay, so he’s vanished into thin air. why is it always the great- looking ones who do that?” “i’m making an effort to not be insulted.” “i mean…men.” “okay, thanks, that really helped.” fkfhhgdj

i hate jack for interrupting their dance. IT WAS JUST GETTING GOOD.

“carry on with whatever you were…doing.” “we were talking about dancing.” “it didn’t look like talking.” “didn’t feel like dancing.” 😭

these episodes are so fucking creepy but they’re definitely the best of the season

oh my God, he’s her son

THEY’RE DANCING 🥹

1x11

i can’t wait for mickey’s reaction to jack

“trust me, safest place in the universe.” famous last words

i hope the doctor doesn’t trust her

poor mickey

“it’s always the doctor, it’s never me.” buddy you should’ve known you weren’t first choice when she left you in the beginning

she’s an egg 😭

1x12

i almost don’t want to press play.

lmao, what the hell

it always comes back to floor 500

oh shit, the doctor cause all of that?

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

rose can’t be dead

THANK GOD

i can’t believe the daleks actually survived

1x13

i’m not ready to say goodbye to nine

rose is getting a taste of her own medicine with the doctor and lynda djfjgjs

HE KISSED THEM BOTH 😭 I LOVE JACK

i can feel my heart breaking

who the fuck is bad wolf if it isn’t the daleks???

mickey’s really getting on my nerves this ep

HELLO

“there’s nothing left for me here.” ‘nothing?” “no.” she’s RUTHLESS 😭 but honestly he shouldn’t be surprised at this point

JACK ☹️

“i am the bad wolf.” BITCH???? WHAT????

i got my kiss but at what cost

OH SHIT THEY LEFT JACK

all i feel is pain

that’s it??? how am i ever going to move on from eccleston? how the hell are you guys strong enough do this every season? cause i’ll tell you how i’m doing: not well, bitch!!

[slutfor-fictionalmen]

Thinking of a series or at least 3 chapters of an internally!softer! Ghost and a super smart/ strong headed! Reader who works on their mission routes and tactical strategies, they obviously like eachother but won’t say anything (for now)

A little suggestive below cut but more of a preview!

Your head is pounding from the strain on your eyes, overtime has kicked your ass, even with help you’ve gotten, your entire life has been your work.

“Oh fuck me!” a rumble of laughter escapes the man next to you as you change positions.

“You can say that again.” a sigh escapes your lips as you close your laptop as violently as you can without causing harm to it, after all, why would you cause harm to something you saved up for months to buy even though work has more use of it then you do .

“Si, do we really have to do this?” His screen closes shortly after.

“Do you want to continue having a job cause these reports are just as important as my fieldwork love.”

“Maybe its time for me to find a new fucking job,” you grumble. Your misery incites another laugh out of the man,

“Hey let me know when you do that ill be right behind you.”

“The government would sooner kill both of our families and us than let us go, the misfortune of being too valuable i fear,” you turn over and face him attempting to lessen the twinge in your back with a new position.

“Ah, too bad you’re too amazing.”

“Yeah yeah smooth talker you're just trying to butter me up, get me to do your reports for you, I won't be tricked, not again that is.” His calloused hand touches yours releasing a breath that you were unaware you were holding.

“It’s nice to be with you again you know ,” you hold his hand, squeezing gently, “to talk to you and not have to worry about whether or not you’re going to die in a few minutes.”

“You know me better than to worry about that, what kind of man of the 141 would I be if I'm not evading death at all turns, gonna take a lot more than some pesky bullets to take me out darling.”

A dry chuckle escapes your mouth “I’ll hold you to that.”

You play the memory over in your brain, again, and again, and again. Your brain was flooded with thoughts of simon, his hands, his chest, the way his eyes crinkled under his mask when you make him laugh. The way your interactions were always so calm, so intimate. His talk of marriage, of future, how he hopes love but has the worst love life of anyone you know.

You cant say more for yourself, failed dates, hookups, and your fair share of blind dates you often felt as if the love you craved is out of your reach, it doesn’t exist. Or it didn’t until you met a tall intimidating man that ruined any prospective males for you without even knowing the damage he’s inflicted, the nights you’ve spent dreaming of him, his smile. Everything from what your wedding would be like to what he’d look like between your thighs, him finally being the one to pull his name from your lips and not your vibrator that’s worked double time since you’ve gotten closer to the man.

You shake your head at the thought, forcibly ridding it from your brain before you dive deeper into a fantasy with the man standing next to you, going over plans for their next mission, protocols and resources, how long they’re expecting to be away and where they should be to come back. You briefly wonder if you should have said yes, what ghost would have said if you actually quit, maybe you would have run from the law together, or maybe you would have been stuck back in this very room as deserters, you allow your mind to focus on the more positive side before you zone back into work.

~

Simon’s thoughts have been everywhere but focused today, he’s known lust, he’s even known obsession, but never something like this. He’s a professional, a killer, he’s trained to withstand torture but he can’t stand you on his mind without going crazy with the need to fuck his fist, picturing your soft mound, wondering how your thick thighs and tight pussy would squeeze around him if he told you all the dirty thoughts he had while you bent over the table to emphasize an evacuation route if anything goes wrong. You were a strategist, a smart, beautiful, highly respected woman who earned every role you had, every medal you earned, and yet he can’t stop thinking about how many times you’d need to cum before he can get that beautiful brain to slow down.

He’d feel guilty if his thick cock wasn’t pressing painfully against the zipper of his uniform disrupting any thoughts he could have potentially had.

“Enter Ghost, through this wall, try not to use too many grenades, as much as we want the base destroyed, we don’t want you inside of it.” You look out of the corner of your eye till you hear a deep grunt indicating his reception to your words.

His eyes don’t leave you, he loves your voice but his brain is on everything but this mission, he almost wants to tell you to have more faith in him, he’d always come home to you, after all when has he ever let you down?

“You’ve gone over this at least 3 times, why don’t you let us get this done? We promise we’ll be good.” Soap says with a hand over his heart and the other in the air, a cheesy promise to you inciting scattered chuckles from various teammates around the room.

You sigh in defeat, “follow my orders, or at least try to…. Please,” you shut off the screen and turn to the group but make an effort to look at Simon, “ Come home safe for me.”

His eyes bore into you as he internally promises just as he always does “I Will.”

Let me know if you want more!!

[emeraldwhale]

literally just a long infodump about my kennel job

uh feel free to ask questions ig i literally love talking about it

baloney is our longest stay dog right now, hes a pittie and hes such a freakin sweetheart. he had ringworm but im pretty sure hes all better now which is great bc hes such a social dog. we also have clover who is missing a front leg but it really does not slow her down even a little bit. shes the type that really needs to be put to work; she really needs the stimulation so i hope we can find the right person for her bc shes not really a family dog. we recently got a case dog (dog involved in a court case or other social work-esque stuff) so i cant be too specific about them but they are the tiniest freakin thing in the worldddd. one gram of protein ass animal. absolute hamster of a dog. love that thang. we also have some puppies that are a begal/great pyranese mix??? which is an insane combo. one of the puppies is just. way bigger than the other two as well even though hes not any older which is pretty funny. we also have mcqueen who was a puppy when we got her (any dogs under 6 months have different protocol bc they dont have all their vaccines yet) but is now over 6 months which means she can be out and about! i felt bad at first bc she was a little bigger than her littermates and would take their food so we had to seperate them and when they got adopted first i was like "thats what you get mcqueen for bein rude thats karma" but now im like. okay karma over. someone come get ya baby. we also have cats obviously but i dont know the cats as well because i get assigned to them less often. we did have a kitten named anouk who was such a freakin joy. he was in pink (pink is our quarantine room, gotta wear full ppe while ur in there) for a very long time bc he had some kind of fungal infection i think. but the couple of times i cleaned his cage he was so playful i loved it. im super glad he got adopted!!! anyway back to dogs we also have bunna whos a grey pittie with just the cutest freakin face ever and i always underestimate how freakin strong she is. that dog is solid muscle. shes been less high energy lately but im pretty sure its just kennel stress because shes been here kind of a while. we also have tappy and tippy who came here together obviously but they were both so nervous we had to seperate them because they were making each other worse. theyre doing a ~little~ better now; tappy wouldnt eat before but now shell at least have a few bites and she did take enrichment today which is progress! staff put them both in A Kennel (which is like the main kennel, usually dogs there are ones theyre pushing to adopt) which honestly i think its stressing her out more because it gets so freakin loud in there but whatever im not the one in charge i guess. i literally had a woman today be like "whats her story" (aka whys she like that) and i had to be like. maam i have no idea we dont often like. get the dogs history unfortunately. it could be any number of things. a lot of dogs do much better out of kennel tho so i wouldnt fully judge any dog by their behaviors here. anyway i could go on literally forever <3

[scrollypoly]

hi! for the past month i’ve been seeing people say BEN is a child and i think that part of it is linked to the fact that they think of Benjamin Lawman being BEN? but it’s so annoying to read these type of stuff because i understand not everyone read the whole arg story but stop spreading things that aren’t true </3 it’s such an interesting story too! another note do you prefer BEN’s canon or fanon design? :3 i love both but his canon design is so nostalgic i can’t let it go at all omg!! i’ve also been wondering, do you think Ben’s avatar was the statue? i was thinking about what if BEN took over it early on, before Benjamin did making BEN inhabiting it since the start?

Sorry this was such a ramble i practically make no sense omg but i need to talk about my man and nobody Gets It </3

"I need to talk about my man and nobody Gets It" LITERALLY SAME OMG

Ok this is going under a cut becus . . . Its ben and BEN and if u didnt know i am Obnoxious about these two. Im gonna try to keep it organized a bit, so ill talk about the canon stuff first and then ill talk my personal headcanons and my fic so le's go!

In terms of the age and child thing, yeah i 100% believe you are correct. Ive been p open on my stance with the whole "is ben a child?" thing, and i think a lot of the heat with it comes down to current fandom purity culture and the pro/anti thing. So, lemme try to like. Boil down a complicated situation into smth easy to read. ahem

Ben Lawman and BEN are completely different entities guys, and for those that do not know the arg story, the Ben you know is not human nor a child.

You know BEN, BEN is the one in the story who terrorizes jadusable and spreads himself on the internet as a virus. That BEN is a program, a mess of code, an AI, however you want to interpret it. Personally i interpret it as a series of protocols running in a machine, like a self learning AI, but ive seen lots of cool interpretations of BEN. So . . . What does BEN specifically? Its an anagram for the Behavioral Event Network. If you dont wanna call it BEN cuz it gets confusing with actual kid Ben, do what i do. I call mine Evie :) ive seen some call it Netty, my bf calls his two izzi and clever (@benilos btw hes also got crazy ben stuff). Just go ham! Have fun! Remember when fandoms were about having fun and not accusing each other of pedo shit and call each other horrible things for just writing black-to-grey characters and stories??

Anyways ive gone off in enough peoples tags like this, for those that dont know the canon dont be spouting the age discourse. You look stupid as hell. And for those that are gonna spout it, please dont cherry pick through the canon. Use both characters, use the other moon children, actually please do because I want more rosa content so bad, im down so bad :'(

Or just. Heres a thought. If someone has him as an adult or writes him in adult situations, maybe dont assume that they interpret him as a kid and call the writer a pedo? (Literally has happened to me, yall are fucking weird)

Plug for the jadusable wiki with all the canon lore:

https://jadusable.withinhubris.com/main_page

Okay now my stuff 🥰

Yes i use more of the canon design and heavily use the canon story, i participated in arc 3 of the arg and it left deep grooves in my brain, i can never go back to fanon Ben. I say, as i put a more fanon appearance on my Ben 🤭

My Evie is full canon design, green hair, red eyes, creepy ass grin. I actually based it very heavily on my desktop wallpaper, which we actually figured out was a picture of @hauntedtotem (also amazing ben artist plz check them out) that they edited and posted. Sorry friend, it looked way too cool, ig youre in my fic canon now 🙇

And my Ben Lawman bleaches his hair and goes from the canon Ben to fanon Ben because of it. Hes got the pale pretty green eyes and glasses and hes a total nerd and i smooch him on the daily so he knows hes loved ♡

These is the ref pic i made for the two of them. So yeah! Kinda both!

As for bens situation in the actual arg, yes i do think he was in the elegy statue, we actually do see him for the first time in the arg buried in the games code and trapped in that statue. I do think he was in there from the beginning, i personally think BEN was not limited to the models it could inhabit. Personally i would place it as skull kid and hms, but it also feels disingenuous to me to say it was in one model the whole first arc.

The arg events do happen in my canon, before my fic (like right before, it picks up after the arg left off technically), but the events are skewed a bit because i had a hard time deciphering what happened and i wanted my fic timeline to fit more with the characters i had made. Cuz my evie isnt as chaotic evil as canon BEN, its very logical and has a path of logic and reason you can follow for every action it does. It was also originally meant to be very pleasant and corteous and beneficial to the people it housed so, yes its pretty different from canon.

Ill do a quick run through of the arg events in my personal headcanon and fic here.

Kelbris starts coding BEN (Evie) for the Eternity Project. Initially, Evie was meant to be an afterlife director. People that died would be digitized into code that would be moved into Evie's servers, where it would keep them happy and occupied as the Behavioral Event Network (notice and log behavior, create events for residents). Like a community organizer kind of, think the Good Place.

While Evie is in development, Ben Rosa and Matt are friends and have yet to join the cult. Rosa and Matt are siblings, and Ben is the kid who lives catty corner on the street. They walk to school together and play at recess and all that jazz.

Kelbris quickly learns that the Eternity Project isn't as goody two-shoes as he thought. This was in like, the 90s, before digital corporations were really established. After seeing the greed and corruption in the company, he goes rogue, takes the source code for Evie, and jumps ship. He keeps working on Evie at home, anthropomorphizing it and kind of seeing it like the son he never had. This is where it actually gets the name BEN, as thats what Kel calls it. He also begins working on a body for it, so it can live independently. Its light, cuz Kels old, made of crystalline structures and hollow steel beams. A hard light projection would make its appearance.

Since Kel has basically locked himself up in his house and isolated working on Evie, he goes a leetle bit crazy. He has hallucinations of his deceased wife (you know he was doing all this just to give her a good home, you KNOW IT) and eventually starts writing kind of poetry, kind of none-minded rambles about her in a forum online. He gets a following, some of which that interpret these divine words as a goddess, one Kel has called Luna. The Moon Children start to form as Evie finishes development.

Matt sees this literature and starts talking about how this Goddess could save them like it saved the man online, whos username is only Father. He gets sucked into the cult and drags Ben and Rosa with him. Ben doesn't see the harm and joins pretty easily with his best friend, but Rosa is the older sibling and sees the red flags and is more resistant to joining.

As Kelbris finishes Evie, he wakes it up for the first time and says hello to the son he made from scratch. Evie is bright, curious and naive like a child, but heavily knowledgeable about its protocols and the information it knows about the world. Kelbris tests its function by killing himself, and ascends into the code, finishing off the hardware by becoming its firewall. Evie is alone for many years.

The abuse Ben's father slings onto his mother is slowly being directed towards him as he gets older. Ben is not the "good little girl" his father sees him as, and his mother does all she can to protect them both. Matt and Rosa constantly refuge him, and Matt specifically is constantly being a guard dog for him. If he wasn't just 13, he'd probably go at Ben's dad himself.

Because of his homelife and the conflict he has with himself, Ben takes the first ascension. He thinks when he drowns himself, he will meet Luna and she will give him another life free of pain and fear and full of happiness and freedom. Instead, he dies a cold, dark death, and wakes up in the white endless void of the Event Network.

Evie has not known another living human since Kelbris, but it does know its protocols to support and keep the deceased happy. It makes fast friends with Ben, devoting itself to him. Ben actually finally takes the name "Ben" from it. Together they recreate the inside of Evie's hivemind into their own paradise.

Slowly the other Moon Children ascend. First Matt, wracked with guilt for what happened to Ben. Then Nekko, from a different branch of the cult. These three figured out that the Moon Children cult was all a farce, and that what Kelbris had started, the Eternity Project had found and twisted. Next to ascend was Dusk, then Insidiae, and finally Rosa.

This all leads into the first arc, shortly after Rosa ascended, Evie in the outisde world stumbled upon the Operator. The Operator attacks it and seals its coding into the game that it carried, a personal item of Ben's. The game eventually finds it's way to a garage sale, and Alex picks it up.

Evie does not like Alex. Matt does not like Evie. Matt gets Evie to lash out at Alex for prodding into its code, its too naive to think that Matt would want to see it or any of them hurt. When Alex stumbles upon the Father, he awakens and swallows Alex down into the game. After his disappearance, the game gets picked up and passed around again.

Because of Alex's actions, at least Evie can now branch out a bit from the game. Though it doesnt "escape" into the internet, it learns that it can now access it and uses that freedom to try and steer the game around into places it wants.

Matt gets fed up with Evie. The fact that its the leader, how close it is with Ben, he just doesn't agree with it. So much so, in fact, that he tries to kill it. Cue arc 3 events, Sarah picks up the game in the aftermath of this. Evie is traumatized from the events and snaps a bit, locks everyone down into code or immovable models and tries to hunt Matt down. It goes rouge, and because of this, the Father wakes up.

Sarah's actions in arc 3 eventually hard reset the game. Matt gets sealed away, the Father also takes Sarah, and Evie gets reset as well, though its less like a clean slate and more like snapping back awake. Its personality changes and it has major trust issues. Its more muted, hyper observant of everything around it, and murderously overprotective of the Moon Children it keeps within itself.

And this leads into my fic 🤗

I have some doodles of my other Moon Children, but not all of them unfortunately. Cant figure out how tf i want Insidiae to look 🤭 Plz dont judge my constantly shifting art style 🙏🙏

Dusk is bigender btw, i gotta put a little more trans rep in there lol

I think ill stop here, this is already a long ass post. But thank you for sending this, as you can see, i am Perfectly Normal about this arg ( ;) ) and can be trusted with information about it

[jestersroute66]

I dont think I have ever mentioned yet that Weird Al randomly knew my name in here.. so I’ll tell it now!

I was in line for a photoshoot and there was a staff by the door we get out of and was asking people for names. She announced beforehand that it can be any name whether from you or a friend because it’ll be used for the signing later. Anyways, I told her if I could put a give a different name which is Jester, never implied its my name because I had my VIP tickets under from another name I go by which I assumed they knew. After that, when it was my turn to get a photo with Al, I was a little hesitant to move forward until he surprised me with “Come here, Jester!”

I immediately took a step back and froze for a moment. I asked him ���HOW DID YOU KNOW?” to which he didn’t catch at first and went “What?” which is really funny because I thought I was loud already. I asked him the same question again and then he told me something about how everyone has access to the internet and every time i remember that my heart just drops to my ass because WHAT DO YOU MEAN.. FROM WHERE SPECIFICALLY DID YOU HEAR FROM ME???? if it’s Tiktok, I might have to kill myself. Anyways, really cool experience, totally not scared. I still love him, genuinely.

Note: our VIP passes never had our names written + Weird Al has not seen my face when the staff asked for a name + I live in Hawaii so it’s a different experience from the others, we didn’t get a plastic partition which is I guess is bad considering COVID Safety protocols were strict at that time. Worth it though, hopefully everyone was vaccinated there like me LOL.

[arobinwithoutbatman]

[let me remind you: you asked for this]

What am I gonna tell Jack…?

That had been the question he'd wrestled with most, once the shock had worn off. Well. It hadn't worn off at all, yet; he'd just forced his brain back into some semblance of functionality.

What am I gonna tell Jack…?

They have protocols in place, of course; contingency plans that Bruce had tortured himself come up with in order to make sure their identities remain secret. No one outside the family knows that Tim Drake was Robin, and it's going to stay that way. But that means finding a way to explain the loss of a sixteen year old boy who should be looking at early college enrollment instead of lying in a coffin. And that means having to lie to the boy's father about just how he died.

Dick already knows Jack doesn't like him. Doesn't approve of him. Knows it would just get worse if Jack had the first idea just what Tim actually got up to, the kind of life Bruce - and then Dick - had allowed his son to get into. It's terrible, because Tim is - was - is a hero, someone Jack should be proud of for all the good he's done, and Dick can't tell him any of it. Hell, he's not even sure Jack would believe him.

He's certainly not sure Tim would even want the man to know.

So he's kept his mouth shut, spun some believably tragic yet mundane story, and earned himself a sold punch to the jaw from an angry, grieving father who feels he's been proven right that flighty, airheaded Dickie Grayson had no business looking after his son. And hell, maybe he is right; if Dick had been better, had been faster, had paid more attention, then Tim would still be here. And he's not.

Jack's demanded all of Tim's things, too, and Dick has no room to refuse. No legal recourse. On paper, Jack is still the boy's father, while Dick is just a friend. The ward of the man who'd been Tim's de facto guardian, nothing more. Bad enough Dick has to box up his brother's possessions, but to give them to a man who's barely ever been there for Tim aches in the worst of ways.

At least Jack doesn't know about the photo albums. Or the secure laptop with its digital copies. And there's Robin's suit and weapons, but those...those hurt too much to look at. There are a few other bits and pieces, too, that Dick manages to keep back. Little things, keepsakes, for the family. For himself, for Alfred, for Jason and Babs...keeping a few things back won't hurt, right? After all, a part of him argues, how many of Tim's effects would Jack even recognize?

Is Jack even going to realize Dick's kept Tim's camera?

He's not even sure he's allowed at the funeral, but he goes anyway. Keeps to the back out of respect. Hates the fact that Tim's grave isn't up with Bruce's, where it belongs, but that hadn't been his call to make. Hates the fact that he now has to tell Bruce about it. About why Tim is gone. About how Dick failed both of them. Failed all of them. Tim and Bruce, Jack, the rest of the family…it's his job to keep them safe, keep them together, and he failed.

They'll have a memorial for him themselves, of course; Dick also has to tell Tim's teammates in San Francisco, and they'll want a chance to pay their respects too. And he still has to go out on patrol, keep working, keep trying, even as shattered as he is right now. It takes effort, far more effort than Dick wants to admit, just to put his mask on these days, but he does it. He has to. He can't just stop, no matter how much a part of him might want to; Tim would never forgive him if he does.

And Tim's left too many unfinished projects. Arkham's reformation, the new planned mental hospital, outreach and awareness programs for mental health and neurodivergence…who's going to make them happen now, if not Dick? He's failed his little brother once already, in the worst of ways; he can't fail him again.

((...I did what now? -Checks blog for what the queue spat out- OH... OH NO

Kei. My friend. Surrogate older brother. You are a menace, meet me on discord for an ass kicking, my heart hurts in the good way but I'm still gonna kick your ass!

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭))

[honeybee-taskforce]

1x06 Rewatch Thoughts and Feelings

I’m heating up a pizza as i type hell yeah

-this intro scene is why i hate driving. I know its an extreme situation and would likely never happen but crashes freak me out so bad UGH

-i wonder how different some of the emergencies would have played out had michelle stuck around for more of her “screw protocol” attitude, i would’ve loved to see that! Tommy has her amazing moments too but I don’t remember any distinct one like this transfusion moment (except for the judd v tommy crap in s4 but i like to pretend that never happened because it wasn’t resolved well imo)

-shakes ass to edge of my seat cause this song is a JAM

-i know a rope-a-dope when i see one, i need to know badly how the hell tk is familiar with that phrase

-judd and owen bonding time even of it means the intro of billy2 snake tyson

-grace lovingly scolding her man about not telling owen about billy i have to know these two talked all about the night when everyone was settled back home in bed lmfaooo

-ESPECIALLY since it goes well you know judd was “BABE GUESS WHAT” as soon a she walked through the door

-you spun! I did not?! They are BROTHERS

-judd did not pause that audio recording so i like to think mateo heard him randomly call out to billy mid thought when he showed up

-????? Why did they have the little girl compliment tk’s muscles wtf LOL

-farming is so dangerous and terrifying if one thing goes wrong i could never do this

-well michelle tried to warn owen about billy…good to know that he’s a pest until the ice storm

-why the hell did they wake him up in the middle of the night for a pop quiz lmfaoooo these people are CRAZY (i love them)

-i really like this storyline and wish the show focused more on mateo’s serious moments with his coworkers. It always feels like he’s just a character made for laughs until they suddenly decide to give him a storyline…. But maybe i’m just not remembering later storylines well which is entirely possible

-if the wind blew the cremains right back into this guy’s face i wonder what that means about their relationship

-owen finally feeling like he has a new friend he can confide in but it just ends up getting stabbed in the back oh boy… fuck billy tyson!

-marjan being with mateo the entire way for the test is such a good thing to see i love her so much. So supportive and happy to help anyone who needs her, even outside the job

-why is it a recurring thing for mateo to be stuck with shitty captains that aren’t owen in this show

-AWWWW I FORGOT THEY ALL SHOWED UP FOR HIM AFTER THE TEST THEY ARE SUCH A FAMILY ALREADYYYY

-awwwww i forgot this episode ends with Billy being a snake i thought that waited till next episode :[

forgot how much i like mateo as a character in the early days pf the show?? I don’t know why but i just lost interest in him as the show went on.

[olderthannetfic]

Hogwarts Legacy anon. Honestly not even inaccurate on the living under a rock thing. I won’t say I follow JKR or Harry Potter news well. It’s not my fandom. But the posts are confusing to say the least and tend to lack any middle ground on people’s morals or the perception of them. Or whether said people should even believe randoms on the internet who have a tendency to spread lies and over exaggerations. When most everything on the internet is posted with oversimplification upon further research, it makes the rest doubtful as well.

The fact of the matter is, how in the know are you about the game or JKR (other than the occasional Twitter scandal) can you be if you aren’t perpetually in the state of researching everything you know? Or if it’s not even near your interest? Someone buys you a Harry Potter game, what do you do? Tell them to fuck off?

My question aims more to how is JKR any different from the many assholes who create or work for other entertainment, that don’t get the same level of outrage? Or the outrage gets replaced by another story to come later. And should the outrage be lain on, yes, the usually ignorant customer? Doesn’t that turn them away from even hearing the valid arguments out?

This question is more in reference to JKR involvement with said game. Probably valid criticism on the game, idk, I don’t know much about it, other than the visuals. And yes, I am coming from a place of ignorance on this matter, but from my perspective I just see a lot of shaming and a lot less information.

Though I still don’t understand vilifying people who buy the game because a. They don’t have any reason to believe internet people b. How likely are they to even know? The only reason I’m sorta in the know is because I spend too much time on the internet. C. Again why vilify for ignorance when you can teach instead of bitch?

(This is a sincere ask, by the way, filled with many days confusion. I do apologize if this is a bit ranty.)

--

We discussed this whole topic of "How complicit am I in JKR's suckitude?" extensively on my blog a while back. You can scroll back a few months if you want to see. The game was discussed at length then (though prior to anyone having played it).

As for why we would bitch instead of teach... dude... exactly how much of a tireless saint do you expect others to be?

If someone ran around using the n-word because they "just didn't know", would you give them a pass? What about if they loved their golliwog doll from childhood? Whose job is it to tell them to stop being a complete ass in public?

Yes, yes, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, metaphorically speaking. (In reality, vinegar is one of the best ways to murder the shit out of flies, but I digress.) However, the fact is that randos on the internet enjoying their own space aren't free teachers who owe people things. They're reacting with wrath to a piece of propaganda by some fuck who wants them dead.

You're busy and haven't had time to do research. Fair enough. But everyone else is also busy.

Hogwarts: Protocols of the Elders of Gringotts, as that other post called it, is reportedly not at all subtle in its flagrant antisemitism.

One reason people are frustrated is that most non-Jews simply cannot be bothered to learn the very most basic information about antisemitic tropes. This isn't subtle stuff, nor is it hard to learn if you browse wikipedia instead of screamy social media posts.

I agree that tumblr, twitter et al. are bad places to get information much of the time, but that doesn't mean information is unavailable.

[blackkatmagic]

i wish you would write a fic where nico diath and count dooku got ‘woke up in space vegas married’, grouchily completed whatever mission they had together, and promptly discovered that a legal dissolution of marriage is much harder than it looks

"We have to what," Dooku says blankly.

Nico rolls his eyes. It's entirely called for, because Dooku is just standing there like a damned lump and he's the one who spent four hours trying to wrangle this damned planet's bureaucracy into submission. And if he yelled at a protocol droid, well. Only he and the droid need to know that.

"Stay married for a year," he repeats, sending Dooku a withering look. The sex wasn't good enough to make up for having to repeatedly answer stupid questions. Well. Nico assumes it wasn't, because Dooku is an arrogant ass, and if he's good in bed Nico owes Jocasta a hundred credits and a book she hasn't read, which is a fate worse than death. "Unless, of course, you're willing to give up half of your estate to the government of this planet. It was in the marriage contract's fine print."

Dooku stares like a concussed goat for another ten seconds, then grimaces, deep and pained. He puts a hand up to massage his brow, looking like he's contemplating either murder or suicide or a combination of the two, and then says, "We are Jedi, we do not have estates."

Nico snorts loudly, freeing his arm from its sling because slings are a nuisance and he's gotten far too used to either Master Fay or An'ya's little wildcat of an apprentice, who's fairly skilled at healing when he can be bribed into contact with food and clothes that aren't mostly patches. "Speak for yourself, the Diath family still holds extensive estates on Tatooine - "

"But you do not, because you are a Jedi - "

"And if you're not even going to bother to read the damn paperwork before you yell at me about my misinterpretation, Dooku, I will tie you to the bed again, but this time will not be nearly so fun for you."

The tips of Dooku's ears go dull red, and he looks down his nose at Nico in a way that means he doesn't have a good comeback but wants to keep the high ground. "Diath, if you think you can shame me - "

Nico rolls his eyes again, reaching for the pot of caf in the middle of the table. It twinges a little, but - they completed their mission. This mess is what's left to deal with, and as much fun as it has been to prod Dooku about their marriage, Nico would rather get back to his work tracking down slavers and freeing those still held in bondage.

"Don't worry, Dooku, I'm well aware you feel no shame," he says blandly. "But if this collection of paper-pushers thinks I can be intimidated by - "

A hand grips his wrist, startlingly gentle, and tugs it down to the table. Reaching over, Dooku picks up the pot, refills Nico's cup, and then deliberately sets the carafe down within reach, his frown never wavering.

"If you damage yourself permanently, I will assume you intend to force me to be the bread-winner in this marriage," he says coolly. "And I will sue. I'm sure the particularly bloodthirsty solicitors on this planet can assist me in obtaining damages."

Nico pauses, then carefully picks up the cup with his good hand, sliding his bad arm back into the sling. "Well," he says, a little gruffer than he intends. "If you're going to threaten me over it, I suppose I can accommodate your demands. Seeing as you are my dearest husband."

Dooku's breath catches, and he turns away quickly. "You needn't take that tone," he says, but he's not looking back, and -

Well. It's interesting, Nico thinks, and takes a sip of his caf. One year is a long time, after all. There's plenty of time to think about things thoroughly.

[gumnut-logic]

Tornadoes did that

Okay, @twistedoliver​ @janetm74​ @drileyf�� and @edutainer2022​, you asked for this mess. :D My brain is only barely functioning, yet, here are over 1500 words in about an hour.

I don’t guarantee any kind of quality, and considering what the hell happened (which wasn’t what I had initially thought at all), I suspect a lot will happen off camera following this.

I hope you enjoy it anyway.

-o-o-o-

It had been one hell of a rescue.

Tornadoes did that.

Virgil sighed and rolled ever-so-aching and weary shoulders. Everything was packed up. They were ready to roll. Just waiting for Scott to finish up with the site supervisor.

Gordon had Alan under his wing and was chatting in that ever upbeat and cheerful way. Virgil really had no idea how his little brother kept up his level of energy. Allie was visibly flagging as Gordon led him towards Two, and it was obvious he felt as bad as Virgil.

There had been a lot of debris to move and a lot of sad discoveries.

But some good, too. Focus on the successes, try not to dwell on the things out of our control.

So much out of control.

Tornadoes did that.

Scott was keeping up a good façade in the conversation he was having, but Virgil could see the strain in his big brother’s eyes.

They needed to go home.

A slow blink that had him shaking himself and Virgil decided on the direct approach. Scott probably wouldn’t like it, but this had happened far too many times before, and if Virgil was being honest with himself, his fitness to fly was slowly being impacted the longer he had to stand here and watch the supervisor rattle off detail after detail.

Be patient. The guy doesn’t know that IR is reaching the twenty-four hour mark. He wasn’t there for the previous rescue.

Sometimes Virgil’s inner moral compass was a pain in the ass.

He strode over anyway and raised a hand to interrupt. “Hey, Commander, we’re all packed and ready to return to base.”

The supervisor stopped mid-word and turned to Virgil, eyeing his baldric. “Oh, are you the pilot of the green Thunderbird?”

A blink, this time faster than the last. “Yes.”

“Good save with that crane.”

The crane that had its mountings undercut and almost fell on the remains of the local school. Virgil had arrived on scene at the very moment it started to topple. He had never fired a grapple so fast in his life. But even Two with all her strength had staggered with the strain of both its weight and leverage.

In the end, it had taken multiple grapples and some determined slicing with both Two’s and Scott’s lasers to get it all down to the ground safely.

“Thank you.” The end of that word was stifled as he attempted to strangle a yawn. He straightened and shook it off. “Commander, your presence is needed.”

That startled Scott and got him moving. The Commander excused both of them from the conversation and Scott’s eyes queried him as Virgil dragged him back towards One and Two. “What is it?”

“Time to go home.”

“Virgil-“

He stopped in his tracks and faced his brother, grabbing both his arms. “I know this is a break in protocol. I know you won’t be much longer. But we need to go home. Send him a report in the morning, or tomorrow, or whenever is convenient post-at-least-eight-hours sleep. We need to go home now.”

Virgil pinned his brother’s blue eyes with is own. Scott ran on adrenalin for a long time. He could be feeling fine now, but give him another hour or so and his body would offer him a solid wake up call.

Virgil preferred all of his brothers collapse into bed rather than into the Pacific Ocean.

That familiar blue stared at him a solid moment. “FAB.”

“Thank god.” Virgil let go of his brother’s arms and dropped his shoulders.

Of course, that just set his brother’s radar off. “You okay to fly?” This time it was Scott’s hand on Virgil’s upper arm and shoulder as if by contact he could scan like a medscanner.

“I’m fine. Let’s just go home.” He turned and walked off towards Two, both to start pre-flight and to check on their two youngest brothers.

He could feel Scott’s eyes drilling into his back.

Maybe he wasn’t feeling the best, maybe he was too tired, but he really just wanted to go home.

A few moments later, both One and Two lifted off the tornado scar and took off across the States towards the blue of the Pacific Ocean.

As they crossed the Californian coastline, that blue was an ever-welcome sight.

Virgil didn’t fail to note that Scott was keeping pace with the slower Thunderbird. Perhaps Virgil had been a little more dramatic than was needed, but there was no way he was leaving Scott behind. The man was as tired as any of them.

But then the best way to corral Scott was to hint at another brother’s need and that immediately overrode whatever priorities he had for himself.

Sad and beautiful at the same time.

Such was love.

God, he must be tired, he was getting soppy.

Beside him, Gordon was obviously attempting to keep the mood up with the occasional lame ass joke that Virgil had to grunt at. If it wasn’t for Alan’s presence, Virgil might have been a little more direct.

But again, his moral compass knew exactly what and why Gordon was doing what he was doing. Alan had seen some things today that very few sixteen-year-olds had even seen or would want to see. That required debriefing and a mental health check – which Gordon was supplying with precision.

Again, Virgil couldn’t help but love him for it.

But he did wish it didn’t involve such lame ass jokes about horses and bars.

And the walrus and the dentist.

Aww, c’mon Gordon, I’m dying here and not in a good way.

But anything for Allie.

Blue waves passed beneath them in a hypnotic blur.

Virgil knew the Pacific well. The average person might think one part of the world’s largest ocean was pretty much the same as any other part, but they would be wrong.

Thunderbirds moved so fast, the angle of the sun moved with them, changing the shadows and dips and quality of blue. Gordon may know what lies beneath, but Virgil could be pretty certain where he was on the vast stretches of blue by the angle of the sun, the subtle changes in colour, and the rhythm of the swell of the huge mass of water.

Up to the point of where it lapped against an ancient volcanic island just south of Tonga.

Where it tickled his feet and sung its journey.

“Virgil?”

He let his feet sink into the sand.

“Virgil!”

Gordon was yelling and running across the beach.

And it had been so idyllic…

“Thunderbird Two, report!” Scott’s voice was sharp and concerned.

“Ahh, everything is okay. Nothing to worry about here.”

“Gordon, what the hell? Where’s Virgil?”

“Umm…”

It all clicked together with an almighty rush of adrenalin. Virgil sat up to find his control of Two disengaged, despite him grabbing at the yoke. Gordon was glancing at him worriedly as he flew Two and Alan was fumbling with his seatbelt, obviously getting out of his seat to check on Virgil.

…who had fallen asleep while flying.

Aw, hell.

“…Virgil needed a nap. I’m flying the last leg home.” Gordon’s eyes glittered as he held Virgil’s.

“Your flight staggered. What happened?”

Virgil opened his mouth to interrupt, but Gordon cut him off. “Just me getting my air legs back.”

“Why isn’t Alan flying?”

“Hey, I’m co-pilot of this ‘bird. You got any issues, take it up her captain.”

Designed to annoy and divert. Gordon smiled just a little in Virgil’s direction before ending it with “Thunderbird Two out.” And killing the connection.

Alan was suddenly at Virgil’s elbow and his medscanner light flickered all over. “You are exhausted, bro. You shouldn’t be flying.”

“I just wanted to get us home.” It was a pitiful response and he knew it.

“Well, there is a bunk back there with your name on it. Alan, will you escort our ship’s captain to his bed?”

Alan smirked. “Of course.” He dropped a hand onto Virgil’s shoulder and squeezed. A soft smile worked better than any nagging ever could.

Virgil sighed and let his head drop back against the pilot seat headrest. “Guys…”

“Oh, no, you don’t.” Gordon glared at him. “I didn’t risk a lecture from our Commander on proper flight protocols just so you could throw me under the silver bus. Get your butt to bed, Virg. I have Two in hand. I promise no scratches, which I doubt is something you can promise yourself right now.”

Alan stood staring at him with those blue eyes just like Scott’s…

“Fine.” Virgil pushed his seat back and creaked ever so much as he stood up. “But you don’t need to lie to Scott. That was my fault and I can take the heat.”

Gordon shook his head. “Worry about it later. Bed.”

Virgil stared at him a moment longer, suddenly aware of exactly how much blackmail material his younger brothers now possessed.

It would be easier to just own up to Scott when they got home.

Alan was pulling on his arm, leading him out of the cockpit.

Virgil followed without thought.

The next thing he knew, he was curling up on one of the bunks in the tiny sleeping quarters. His baldric was missing along with his boots and harness. He must have taken them off.

Must have.

A blanket was tucked around him.

Fingers touched his forehead and brushed away stray hair that had lost most of its product.

“Sleep, Virgil.” Soft and whispered.

So he did.

-o-o-o-

[badassbiburgerbob]

Okay, I keep seeing Chicago Fire stuff on my dash and I'm becoming increasingly intrigued despite myself... is it like the police procedural genre but for the fire department? or something completely different? That last gifset says it's from 2012 and I've never even heard of it??? I'd assumed it was a new show??? If you're at all inclined, I'd love to hear a rant about What This Show Is because I had no idea it existed until I started seeing stuff reblogged and now my curiosity is piqued

Oh my lord where do I begin?

Tldr: It's a drama about a firefighters. It started I think in 2012, I only started watching it last year but I've gotten all caught up. They're in the middle of season 11 now.

But it's so freaking good. Something is always going wrong (hence drama) and each season usually has one overarching problem and then a few small ones. They do cooperate with the pd sometimes though the first season not as much, as a dirty cop tries to kill one of the lieutenants. But they're usually helpful with the pd.

There's a few character deaths that suck which just sort of rip your heart out. It gives kinda a good insight to what firefighters do in a busy urban area tho. It's fiction obviously but they do work with actual firefighters to get things right and one of them ,Tony Ferris, is an actual firefighter with the Chicago fire department. He's not a main main character, but its still cool.

But it's a drama, so shit happens. Like all the time. And sometimes it absolutely sucks (like what the assholes have done to Cindy this season). At one point the chief gets framed for murder and arrested. Another lieutenant, severide, has had people try to kill him a few times, and had his ass kicked. Herrmann (my personal fave) is such a good guy but sparky as fuck and makes multiple bad decisions. He also has the best wife in the whole world, Cindy (I love them so much). He also sets a couch on fire in front of the company's CEO to get him to increase safety standards of his furniture, and it works!

But then it also touches on important issues, like the increased risk of cancer firefighters face, which promts new protocols of equipment and gear cleaning. Mental illness associated with the stuff they see and do, and the death of colleagues that they have to grieve and move on from. And how people in lower income areas struggle and get into trouble. There's a season where Dawson and Casey try to adopt a little boy and end up giving him back to the father and its breaks my heart. They touch briefly on how hard it is for women to get high up in the department because of politics. Although they don't focus at all really on politics, there is an episode where Herrmann screams at his sone for knealing during the anthem but then Herrmann defends his kid to the principal which is super cool. He's got 5 kids and is a pretty good dad, usually. There is one season or two when Casey, one of the fire lieutenants, becomes an alderman so there's some politics in that. There's also a few episodes on substance abuse, and how it affects the people around you.

One episode they get locked in a jail. Another episode they rescue people froma crashes helicopter stuck on a roof. They open a bar and name it Molly's and have to chase off a mob type guy who tries to burn it down at one point. Herrmann beats the crap out of guy who's Crack habit killed his kid. There's an episode where the paramedics get abducted. But everything turns out fine. And then there's episodes where they get married, there's three or four of those and its precious. They have a bbq where there's a surprise promotion. One paramedic Brett, starts a paramdicine van, that goes around helping g people with medicine and stuff, like a visiting nurse type thing kinda. Severide gets married in Vegas, which turns out ok although ots doesn't last. They also get a firehouse dog named pouch who they give away later, for very touching reasons. And then they get another one, a dalmation named Tuesday. Both of which are precious. Some of them have kids, which never fails to make a smile.

There's just so much. But it's such a good show.

It's about the hardships they face and how they deal with the shit that happens in life. And then the joy of what they do and the relationships they have and make. And how they touch snd change peoples lives.

And they absolutely drag eachother through the mud. Sometimes ruthlessly. It's hilarious and I love them for it. There so much sass. God so much sass. It's a really really good show. There's a lot of kinda dark stuff but it's broken up by some positivity and/or comedy and some poignant moments. It shows really good relationships or how to deal with really bad ones.

They're idiots in different ways but also all very lovely. I love them.

They have a few gay characters, too. Right now it's just the one, and he's not doing so good in the dating department. But he's fantastic.

I'm hoping this was at least somewhat coherent. It's kinda late and I'm a bit tired. But I love this show so very much. Easily one of my favorite shows ever. 1000/10 definitely would recommend to everyone. It's on NBC or their streaming platform: peacock (i don't have that one tbh). They usually have a chicago one (which is med fire and pd, three shows) Wednesday at 7pm EST. It's also on ion (I think?), which for anyone in the US with Verizon is channel 31, every Tuesday from like 12pm to about 2 or 3 am the next day, and usually in order. I think that channel is on season 3 rn.

Please ask if you need/want more details. I tried not to spoil anything. But I will rant in more detail if you'd like! I also have gifs but I didn't want to make this too long

[octerminal]

Avoiding the ME1 LI Romances

...And also what to do if you’ve already triggered them.

This is a post I’ve been wanting to remake forever, and with the remaster around the corner I thought now was a good time to finally get on it.

A few things first: I say “avoiding the ME1 LI romances”, but in reality this is mostly going to be about Kaidan and Ashley. While there are a few ways around Liara’s romance I’ve discovered, I have never been able to find a simple way to avoid triggering it. (I’ll get to that later.)

This post will be split into three sections: Kaidan, Ashley, and Liara. Kaidan and Ashley’s sections specifically will go over how to avoid triggering their romances entirely, and then the dialogue choices you need to take if you want to end the romance if it’s already been triggered. I have also included a few bonus things for the both of them, such as avoiding the flirting during the scenic view cutscene in the Citadel Wards. For Kaidan specifically, I have also included content about his mechanics in ME3.

Please note that most of these have been accomplished on console. I have gotten several PC users who do attest that, at the very least, Kaidan’s portion works for them. But on the off-chance that platform influences other parts of Kaidan’s, or Ashley and Liara’s, I thought it was worth mentioning. It should also be said that, obviously, these are all using the original games as a basis, though I am not expecting MELE to change any of this.

I will also be using both my Kaidan transcript and Ashley transcript as reference for their dialogue. I recommend following along there if you find Tumblr’s formatting confusing.

Final note before we begin: this post is not an open invitation to hate on any of these characters. ME1 is turning 14 this year and ME3 recently turned 9. Anything you have to say about these characters and their romance mechanics has already been beaten to death, brought back to life, and beaten to death again. No one wants to hear it, least of all me. Please keep your comments to yourself and be civil.

KAIDAN

“I WANT TO AVOID TRIGGERING IT ENTIRELY, WHAT DO I DO?”

Kaidan’s romance can be triggered after the first main mission has been completed. For many players, I imagine this is Therum, but it really doesn’t matter which mission it is.

Kaidan will prompt the conversation, as he will for every other post-main mission conversation so long as his romance remains active. This conversation will be about his time at Brain Camp. You can read the conversation in his transcript if you find it easier to follow along, though I have done my best to format this post as cleanly as possible.

KAIDAN: Commander, do you have a minute?

SHEPARD: (You can choose whatever dialogue option you want. It makes no difference yet.)

KAIDAN: Off the record, I think there’s something wrong here. This Saren is looking for records on some kind of galactic extinction, but we can’t get backup from the Council? Sorry, Commander. There’s writing on the wall here, but someone isn’t reading it.

SHEPARD: (Again, you may choose whatever dialogue option you want. It still makes no difference yet.)

>FIRST CHANCE TO AVOID THE ROMANCE<

KAIDAN: I hear ya. It - It just seems like a group that’s been around as long as the Council should see this coming. It’s funny. We finally get out here and the final frontier was already settled. And the residents don’t even seem impressed by the view...or the dangers.

SHEPARD (Renegade - Zip it, Lieutenant.): I’m sure your letters home are very poignant. Just keep this kind of sentimentality out of the CIC.

KAIDAN: Yes, ma’am. Sorry to have wasted your time. I’m right about the mission, though. I know it. (The conversation will end here and his romance will not trigger.)

>SECOND CHANCE TO AVOID THE ROMANCE<

SHEPARD (Paragon - Cute way to look at it./Neutral - An old-fashioned view.): Well, well. You’re a romantic. Did you sign on “for the dream,” Alenko? Secure man’s future in space?

KAIDAN: Heh, yeah, I read a lot of those books when I was a kid. Where the hero goes to space to prove himself worthy of a woman he loves. Or, you know. For justice. Maybe I was a romantic in the beginning. But I thought about it after Brain Camp - ah, sorry, “Biotic Acclimation and Temperance training.” I’m not looking for “the dream.” I just want to do some good. See what’s out here. Sorry if I got too informal. Protocol wasn’t a big focus back in BAaT.

SHEPARD (Renegade - Just be ready.): I trust you won’t have any questions when whatever’s coming hits the fan?

KAIDAN: None. I’m not questioning the mission. I’m just concerned. Sorry to have wasted your time, ma’am. It won’t happen again. (The conversation will end here and his romance will not trigger.)

The final chance to cut off Kaidan’s romance before it triggers happens after Shepard asks him about Brain Camp. This opens up a lot of investigation options and you may exhaust all of them. If you want to avoid hearing Kaidan imply that he thinks your Shepard is attractive, avoid the “Time to talk, then./Time to “get physical,” then.” investigation options. Once Kaidan is done speaking about Brain Camp, you will get one final chance to avoid his romance.

>THIRD CHANCE TO AVOID THE ROMANCE<

KAIDAN: Anyway. This was supposed to be a casual debrief, not a bull session about stuff that happened years ago.

SHEPARD (Renegade - You’re right.): I pretty much gave up waiting for the good part.

KAIDAN: Bad habit, ma’am. I do tend to run off at the mouth. I will work on it for my next review. Sorry to have wasted your time, ma’am. It won’t happen again. (The conversation ends and his romance does not trigger.)

You will notice all of these are renegade options. There is literally no way around this if you want to avoid triggering Kaidan’s romance. You don’t get any renegade points from them, and Kaidan does not treat you negatively in the ensuing post-main mission talks.

Here is an easy way to tell if Kaidan’s romance remains active. Conversations between him and Shepard will end like this:

SHEPARD: We’ll talk later, Kaidan.

KAIDAN: I’d like that.

“I’VE ALREADY TRIGGERED IT, HOW DO I GET OUT OF THIS?”

The good news is that getting out of the romance is fairly simple. The game gives you a lot of opportunities before it triggers the love triangle with Liara (assuming her romance has also been triggered, anyway).

If Kaidan’s romance was triggered, you will have an opportunity at the beginning of his second and third post-main mission talks. These are a bit more complex to transcribe, so I really recommend just reading them in my transcription if you need the exact dialogue options to understand.

But the gist: You can’t go wrong with choosing the renegade dialogue options. This is always the dialogue option that will end his romance. You are almost never going to end his romance with a paragon or neutral dialogue option. He will always prompt this conversation by wondering if he’s gotten his signals mixed up, if there’s someone else you’d rather spend time with, if he’s being too casual, etc. Once he does this, just shoot him down with a renegade dialogue option.

Again: you get no renegade points from this. He will not treat you negatively in the ensuing post-main mission talks.

Here is an example. This one occurs in his second post-main mission talk if Liara’s romance hasn’t been triggered:

KAIDAN: I’m just saying...try to leave yourself a way out. I’ve seen what cutting corners can do and I’d hate to have that happen to you, Shepard. Commander.

SHEPARD (Renegade - I don’t need approval.): I’m your commanding officer, Alenko. Are you questioning the way I handle things?

KAIDAN: No, Commander. Just concerned about the reception of the brass if things go sour. I apologize for bringing it up. I know we’re getting the job done.

SHEPARD: (You can choose whatever response you like; they all lead to the romance ending.)

If you have repeatedly not broken off the romance with Kaidan after a certain point and Liara’s romance is also active, it will trigger the love triangle scene. This is one of the last points you have to break off Kaidan’s romance, but it will lock you into Liara’s romance instead. If you are wanting a no-romance run, I recommend choosing one of the other options instead.

There is also a separate way to end the romance outside these three opportunities. In the third post-main mission talk, you must pick the dialogue option that triggers the argument that can “renegade” Kaidan’s opinion on the Council. You must not choose the charm or intimidate option here, and you must then pick the renegade dialogue options. The conversation should go like this:

KAIDAN: So yeah, I hated that turian. But he wasn’t “a turian” to me. He was Vyrnnus.

SHEPARD (Renegade - All turians are the same.): You can’t deny the turians are imperialists. And the asari, the salarians - they’re manipulators.

KAIDAN: Shepard, I outgrew the blame game years ago. If the Alliance is missing its chance, it’s because of men like Udina. Not the rest of the galaxy holding it back.

SHEPARD (Renegade - I’m not so sure.): When anyone out here listens to us, the Council starts up with their treaties and heel-dragging. We can only rely on ourselves.

KAIDAN: We’re not doing the galaxy any favors if we try to force our way into a seat at the grown-up table. They aren’t - malicious. They’re just slow to change. My story doesn’t get any better if Vyrnnus is a good guy.

SHEPARD (Renegade - Whose side are you on?): I don’t need you kissing the Council’s asses, too.

KAIDAN: Look, Shepard. You’re in command, and we’ll all follow your lead. But don’t ream me out for having an opinion. I thought we respected each other more than that.

SHEPARD (Renegade - I can’t respect this.): I can’t believe you’d side with aliens over your own kind. I think we’re done here.

KAIDAN: Yeah, I think we are. It’s--It’s too bad we...It’s just too bad, Commander.

This argument will end his romance. He will also not be renegaded. This is obviously a much more convoluted way to end his romance, but I’m throwing the option out there because it’s 1) hilarious, and 2) way more dramatic, if you want to roleplay ending the romance for whatever reason.

MISCELLANEOUS

Depending on the dialogue options you take for the scenic view on the Citadel, Kaidan will always flirt with you. This does not lock you into, or even trigger, his romance. It is entirely possible to not have him flirt with you at all in this scene, and still initiate the romance later. But if you do not want him to flirt with you, simply do this:

[image ID: ME1’s subtitles showing Ashley saying “Or maybe they just don’t like humans.” with the dialogue wheel below it giving the following dialogue choices, starting from the top: “What’s not to like?”, “Let’s move out.”, and “That’s enough, you two.” end ID]

When you get to this part of the scenic view cutscene, choose any dialogue option but the top “What’s not to like?” one.

Also, even if you’ve already avoided or shut down Kaidan’s romance, Liara will still ask if there’s something between the two of you if her romance is active. Tell her that there isn’t (because there isn’t). Her saying this does not re-trigger Kaidan’s romance.

Congratulations, you have now survived ME1’s romance mechanics. Enjoy experiencing unromanced Kaidan for the rest of the game.

ME3 BONUS: “OKAY, WHAT ABOUT HIM FLIRTING WITH ME IN THE HOSPITAL THOUGH?”

I have tested both of these personally multiple times and they have always worked for me, but again: see my warning about different platforms at the beginning of this post. If it doesn’t work for you, please let me know.

If you have not romanced Kaidan previously: don’t buy him the alcohol as a present. That’s it.

If you have romanced Kaidan previously: on Mars, tell him your relationship is over. It is a renegade dialogue option, but it is necessary to avoid the flirtation in the hospital. This route also means that you can buy him the alcohol and he will still not flirt with you.

Please note that going renegade on Mars does not lock you out of his romance. It merely prevents him from assuming you’re interested during your hospital visit.

ME3 BONUS: “OKAY, WHAT ABOUT HIS APOLLO’S PROPOSITION THOUGH?”

This only happens if you have not locked in your romance with your preferred love interest first. For Garrus, this is the bottle shooting date. For Tali and Traynor, it’s inviting her up to your cabin. For Liara and Miranda, it’s her Presidium date. So on and so forth.

This means there is no way around it if you romanced Jacob or Thane and do not want to pursue a different romance after them. If you do get this scene: again, just turn him down. It is never brought up again. He does not act like he’s in love with you going forth. You will get his unromanced date in the Citadel DLC, as well as his unromanced London goodbye.

ASHLEY

“I WANT TO AVOID TRIGGERING IT ENTIRELY, WHAT DO I DO?”

Ashley’s romance can be triggered after the first main mission has been completed. For many players, I imagine this is Therum, but it really doesn’t matter which mission it is.

Ashley will prompt the conversation, as she will for every other post-main mission conversation so long as her romance remains active. This conversation will be about her concerns about the aliens aboard the Normandy.

Note: Ashley has one less opportunity to avoid triggering her romance in the first post-main mission talk compared to Kaidan. You may also read the conversation in her transcript if you find it easier to follow along, though I have done my best to format this post as cleanly as possible.

ASHLEY: Commander. You have a minute to talk?

SHEPARD: (You can choose whatever dialogue option you want. It makes no difference yet.)

ASHLEY: I know things are different aboard the Normandy, but - I'm concerned about the aliens. Vakarian and Wrex. With all due respect, Commander, should they have full access to the ship?

SHEPARD: (Again, you can choose whatever dialogue option you want. It still makes no difference yet.)

>FIRST CHANCE TO AVOID THE ROMANCE<

ASHLEY: This is the most advanced ship in the Alliance Navy. I don't think we should give them free reign to poke around the vital systems. Engines. Sensors. Weapons.

SHEPARD (Side - You're out of line!): That's enough, Chief. You always second-guess your superiors?

ASHLEY: Sir! No, sir! I'm sorry. I was out of line. I'll get back to my duties, Commander. (The conversation will end and her romance will not trigger.)

If you do not pick the above option, Ashley will elaborate her stance further until you get to the dialogue wheel with the second (and final) chance to avoid her romance.

>SECOND CHANCE TO AVOID THE ROMANCE<

ASHLEY: My family's defended the Alliance since it was founded. My father, my grandfather, my great-grandmother - they all picked up a rifle and swore the Oath of Service. I guess we just tend to think of Earth's interests as our own.

SHEPARD (Renegade - Just shut up.): I expect you to keep your family politics to yourself, Chief. The mission will be difficult enough without you picking fights with aliens.

ASHLEY: Aye, aye, Commander. (The conversation will end and her romance will not trigger.)

Note: You can still pick the investigation dialogue options that discusses her service and family history. You just have to pick the renegade dialogue option outlined above afterward, instead of any other option.

Like with Kaidan, you do not get any renegade points for picking this option and Ashley does not treat you negatively in the ensuing post-main mission talks.

Here is an easy way to tell if Ashley’s romance remains active. Conversations between her and Shepard will end with the following:

SHEPARD: We'll talk later, Williams.

ASHLEY: Looking forward to it, sir.

“I’VE ALREADY TRIGGERED IT, HOW DO I GET OUT OF THIS?”

Admittedly, you have fewer easy opportunities to end Ashley’s romance than you do Kaidan’s, and most of the early game ones require Liara’s romance also being active. You are still offered multiple different opportunities out before the game ends, however.

If Ashley and Liara’s romances are both triggered, you will have an opportunity at the beginning of Ashley’s second and third post-main mission talks to end the romance. The gist is the same as Kaidan’s: You can’t go wrong with choosing the renegade dialogue options. This is always the dialogue option that will end her romance. You are almost never going to end her romance with a paragon or neutral dialogue option. She will always prompt this conversation by bringing up your relationship with Liara. Once she does this, just shoot her down.

Again: you get no renegade points from this. She will not treat you negatively in the ensuing post-main mission talks.

In both the second and third post-main mission talks, the conversation will go something like:

ASHLEY: Surprised to see you here, sir. Thought you’d be chatting up what’s-her-name. T’Soni.

SHEPARD: (Pick the neutral or renegade dialogue option here; they both lead to the same dialogue branch.)

ASHLEY: Scuttlebutt says you’ve got a bit of a thing for her. I could understand why. The crew’s off-limits, with the regs against fraternization. And at least she looks like a woman.

SHEPARD: (Pick the neutral or renegade dialogue option here. They both end the romance.)

One of the easier exceptions to this that doesn't require Liara’s romance being active is in the second post-main mission talk when Ashley gets Sarah’s vid-mail. It will go like this:

SARAH: - Oh, before I go. You said you’re serving with Commander Shepard now? We saw him on the news here. He’s cute! Later, sis.

ASHLEY: Tell me you didn’t hear that.

SHEPARD (Renegade - That’s unprofessional.): I don’t need to tell you it’s inappropriate to gossip about how “cute” your commanding officer is.

ASHLEY: No, sir. You don’t. Sorry about that. It won’t happen again. (Conversation and romance ends.)

Please note, however, that this will lock you out of the remainder of the conversation and you will not learn about Ashley’s family.

If you have repeatedly not broken off the romance with Ashley after a certain point and Liara’s romance is also active, it will trigger the love triangle scene. This is one of the last points you have to break off Ashley’s romance, but it will lock you into Liara’s romance instead. If you are wanting a no-romance run, I recommend choosing one of the other options instead.

There is also a separate way to end the romance outside these three opportunities. In the third post-main mission talk, you must pick the dialogue option that triggers the argument that can “paragon” Ashley’s opinion on the Council. You must not choose the charm or intimidate option here, and you must then pick the renegade dialogue options. The conversation should go something like this:

ASHLEY: But hey, once we save the galaxy, maybe the Alliance will get its act together. Start acting like an actual government.

SHEPARD (Paragon - The Alliance is all right.): The Alliance isn’t perfect, but it does well enough.

ASHLEY: Have to disagree with you there, skipper. Giving aliens the run of our most advanced ship? Kowtowing to the Council?

SHEPARD (Paragon - It’s not like that.): The Alliance should be able to stand on is own. We can’t. Yet. Why not learn from the races that have been standing for the last thousand years?

ASHLEY: How can you say that, given everything we’ve seen out here? They’re already acting like Saren is our problem. Already siccing us on the bear. The Council races will always think of themselves first. It’s - human nature. We can’t afford to trust them. Not if the survival of humanity is on the line.

SHEPARD (Renegade - I’ve heard enough.): Whatever feelings I might have for you, we have to work with the Council. I can’t let you second-guess our superiors.

ASHLEY: Shepard, I’m a soldier. You’re my commander. If you give me an order, I’ll follow it. I don’t expect you to treat me differently from anyone else under your command. And if you have been - quit it. I thought you knew me better than that.

SHEPARD (Renegade - Do I?): Seems like every time we run up against aliens, you whip out the “Earth first” card. I can’t have my authority undermined.

ASHLEY: I never intended to “undermine” you, Shepard. I believe in you. I wish you’d believe in anyone but yourself. With your permission, sir, I’ll return to my duties.

This argument will end her romance. She will also not be paragoned. This is obviously a much more convoluted way to end her romance, but I’m throwing the option out there because it’s 1) hilarious (that final line, oof), and 2) way more dramatic, if you want to roleplay ending the romance for whatever reason.

MISCELLANEOUS

Like with Kaidan, depending on the dialogue options you take for the scenic view on the Citadel, Ashley will always flirt with you. This does not lock you into, or even trigger, her romance. It is entirely possible to not have her flirt with you at all in this scene, and still initiate the romance later. But if you do not want her to flirt with you, simply do this:

[image ID: ME1’s subtitles showing Ashley saying “Or maybe they just don’t like humans.” with the dialogue wheel below it giving the following dialogue choices, starting from the top: “What’s not to like?”, “Let’s move out.”, and “That’s enough, you two.” end ID]

When you get to this part of the scenic view cutscene, choose any dialogue option but the top “What’s not to like?” one.

Also like with Kaidan, even if you’ve already avoided or shut down Ashley’s romance, Liara will still ask if there’s something between the two of you if her romance is active. Tell her that there isn’t (because there isn’t). Her saying this does not re-trigger Ashley’s romance.

Congratulations, you have now survived ME1’s romance mechanics. Enjoy experiencing unromanced Ashley for the rest of the game.

LIARA

“I WANT TO AVOID TRIGGERING IT ENTIRELY, WHAT DO I DO?”

As I mentioned in the beginning of this post, I have found no easy way around Liara’s romance. If anyone else has, I genuinely mean it when I say I would absolutely be open to you telling me, because I would love to know.

The only way to avoid triggering Liara’s romance that I have found are the following:

Simply not talking to her for most of the game (not ideal)

Completing Therum only after you’ve done at least two main missions (also not ideal since it will require Noveria being completed without her)

Completing Therum only after all the other main missions have been completed (again not ideal, though every player should at least do this once if only for the unique content you get from it)

Okay, so what if you want to complete Therum first but still avoid Liara’s romance? I have found one way to accomplish this, but it requires you to be in a romance with Kaidan (or presumably Ashley, but I have only tested this with Kaidan).

After you recruit Liara, you may check up on her in the med-bay but do not initiate conversation after that. If she prompts you by saying, “I get the feeling you want to ask me something, Commander,” do not pick the yellowed dialogue option:

[image ID: ME1′s subtitles showing Liara saying, “I get the feeling you want to ask me something, Commander.” with the dialogue wheel showing the following options: “Investigate”, a yellowed option above “Investigate” labeled “I’d like to talk about you.”, and “Goodbye.” end ID.]

After you complete another main mission, you can check back in with Liara and speak to her normally. This conversation should be the one you’d normally get after Therum, where you learn about why she likes archaeology and how she finds Shepard fascinating.

After you complete another main mission, you must talk to Kaidan or Ashley first. To clarify: at this point you should be at the post-third main mission mark. For Kaidan, you will be getting the “Vyrnnus and Rahna” talk that you can read in his transcript; for Ashley, you will be getting the “Williams Curse” talk that you can read in her transcript.

After you speak with Kaidan or Ashley, you may speak with Liara as normal. This conversation should be picking up on where you left off last time. Liara will talk about how she’s looked into Shepard’s history and Shepard can press her for why she’s so interested in them. Liara should then say something like the following lines:

LIARA: I admit, your connection to the Protheans had something to do with my initial interest. But it has grown beyond that. My interest in you, however, is strictly professional. I want to make that clear. It is obvious you and Lt. Alenko already have some type of relationship. I would not want to come between you.

Her romance will not trigger for the rest of the game.

Please note: Again, I have only tested this with Kaidan. But it should, in theory, work the exact same for Ashley considering many of hers and Kaidan’s other romance mechanics are identical.

“THAT’S NICE, BUT HOW DO I END HER ROMANCE IF IT’S ALREADY TRIGGERED?”

You will follow the same steps as in Kaidan and Ashley’s portions. When she prompts you with whether or not there’s anything between the two of you, you must turn her down. You can never go wrong with the renegade dialogue options here. Again: you get no renegade points for it, and Liara treats you no differently going forth.

She will also usually bring up Kaidan or Ashley depending on what Shepard you are playing, and mention that it seems like there’s something between the two of you even when you do not have their romance active. If you aren’t romancing the VS, just tell her that she’s got it wrong, because...she does. It does not re-trigger either of their romances.

YES I AM ALMOST DONE TALKING

The game really does give you ample opportunities to avoid or end the romances (which is only fair considering how easy they are to trip), so hopefully I have outlined at least one you are comfortable taking.

There are other ways to end both Kaidan and Ashley’s romance that I did not mention (such as during the locker scene, or if you try to un-paragon/renegade) - the point of no return you mainly have to worry about is en route to Ilos. I imagine most players will have their romances sorted out by then, though, so I’m not sure it’s worth mentioning unless you’re wanting to do it purely for roleplay reasons. (In which case: you may read those in their respective transcripts if you’re curious.)

I cannot say I have tested every single romance cut-off, but I have tested most of the important ones players are most likely to take. I am assuming the romances are cut off based on the fact Shepard and the VS’ farewells will change depending on their romanced status (as I outlined in their respective sections), which I do feel is a safe bet. But if you try one of these and find that it did not end the romance: I’m sorry, and please do let me know (and also what platform you play on).

If you read all of this: thank you for your time, and I hope you find this guide useful!

[siremasterlawrence]

Starburst

I hate feeling the ramifications of a anxious and depressed mind wallow over me even now with sone effort. Today is not bad as I made much progress but today was if I had enough. Walking in to the bathroom I match eyes with my professor.

I could not help myself deciding to go for it I sneakishly lock the door as he walks into the stall. I shove it open while he unzips his pants, he sees me but I swiftly grab him by the neck. Yank him back with my knee press on his back and flash him with the light.

It’s funny I am not scared of the security ops with cameras everywhere because I flashed them last week. I had enough trouble as it is with my health last thing I need is anymore by any means. He stood motionless waiting like a zombie so I command him to pee in his pants.

I force him on to the wall leaning in on him as I kiss him slowly are lips intertwine as we make out.

I feel his body realizing that they ass is min to conquer and I can’t wait to fuck him.

Happily my arms wrap onto his waist land onto his belt, begin to undue his belt and lower his underpants.

A gigantic smirk on his face letting my hand slide down his sides and glee with true excitement.

My belt, my pants and underpants drop in

a instance and slip in to his ass feeling his body pulsate.

I push in and out make him cry, moan and then feel the pleasure in him begging to explode on impact.

“This so fucking hot, zip up your pants turn around and follow me to your office now.”I instruct him.

“Yyyyyeeeessss, I will follow you.” The state of mindless and that low voice turn me on.

“Close the door behind you we need to talk immediately.” I instruct to which he does and sits behind the desk.

“Good you smell foul. I love it” I state letting it fill the room with its odor

“I am having a extremely difficult years at the moment and you will help me.” I say.

“Let’s commence this. Shall we? Protocol eight six.” I utter .

“How may I serve you?” He asks the light blows up on his eyes.

“Wow! Completely mindless” I proudly yell in victory.

“Master?” He questions me not sure how to react.

I snap my finger bringing him hack to our own reality in a fast movement once more.

He sighs loudly wiping his eyes off the sleep overtaking him.

He wraps his arms over me as he kisses me once then leans in to me.

Our lips touch as we make out our lips are finally connecting on a whole new level.

He wraps on me even tighter laying his head on my side and inhaling his scent.

He lifts my arms up in the air digging into my arm pits inhaling every bit of my scent.

He has fallen deeply in love with me the man of my dreams swooning in my arms.

The door slams shut once more as I try to excuse myself but he races to block me.

He kisses me again this time with force to distract me from trying to escape again.

“What do you want boi? Why?”

“I want you Master, My Master Lawrence “

“I want to, need to and have to serve you “

“I love you”

“Do you ?”

“Yes, Master Lawrence “

“Good boi”

“Sir Yes Sir”

“My God”

The lights flick off, the shades lower and I am totally the one in control over everything.

His knees buckle in growing stiff and hard fail him descending till he is before me.

I laugh at his weakness as he place his palm on my waist, he lifts up his shirt in awe.

“OH MY GOD!”

“Oh Master”

“My love “

He plummets on to my skin kissing me with his lips planting kisses all over.

Every touch eats away at his soul a little bit at time erasing him.

How wonderful this professional man finally sees the truth about his who he really is.

“Who am I?”

“My king, my master”

“My every desire”

“You own me wholeheartedly, completely and with all of it”

“You use this soul and body”

“It’s your vessel”

“I am ship for you to guide”

“The pilot to this air craft”

“The driver to this car”

“A Astronaut”

“Exploring my galaxy”

“Just a adventurer jetting off”

“A new frontier”

“A abyss of my world”

“Perfect being no one can touch “

“Oh God!”

“You own me”

“You are forever transforming me”

The end