#“it's the god that heroin prays to”

[ohmytiredheart]

to be alone by hozier is SOOOO arkayne coded

[absolutebl]

What’s happened to Taiwanese BL lately? Apart from Kiseki which was amazing I haven’t liked any of Stay by my side, Be mine or VIP only (and the next one is about falling for a robot, wtf!) is it because these are all from the same company? Are any good Taiwanese BLs coming up that you know of? Please give me hope!

I don't know.

*whines in entitlement*

That said they have never had a very good batting average. It's what I'd call accurate... but not very precise.

Upper left: Thai BL

Upper right: Japanese BL, Vietnamese BL

Lower left: Taiwanese BL

Lower right (these days): Korean BL

To be fair Taiwan has always been this way. Not a lot of BL, and what little there is only one or two will hit home in any given year. It's just those home runs tend to be pretty darn spectacular.

They don't announce much ahead of time, like Japan, so the only thing I have on my radar as a definitely coming in 2024 is the robot one, Anti-Reset, and I don't have much faith.

In 2022 they announced God's Military Officer, which I was excited about. But that went nowhere.

In 2023 Pray in Love was rumored, which I find very intriguing.

And I'm hoping Wishing Upon the Shooting Stars gets made because it features adult characters and an interesting domestic-centered story premise.

But my most anticipated for 2023 from Taiwan was The Only One, because, well STEPBROTHERS TROPE. I'm thinking it's a Taiwanese version of Addicted, paused because of China's remake last year. But I'd WAY rather Taiwan tackled it so... this is the one I really hope actually does happen in 2024.

But anything announced for a year and then not made in that year I try not to get my hopes up.

That's it, that's all I got.

[pegasusdrawnchariots]

🛡⚔️🏰🐎

[hoziercriespower]

Hozier - To Be Alone

❝ it's the God that heroin prays to. ❞

[writingwithcolor]

Depicting Real World Religions Alongside Constructed Religions

Maya asked:

Hi WWC! Thank you so much for this blog, it's an infinitely wonderful resource! Do you have any suggestions for how I can balance representation of real religions with fantasy religions, or should I avoid including these together? Does the fact that certain things bleed over from our world into the fantasy world help legitimize the appearance of real world religions? I feel like I can come up with respectful ways to integrate representation in ways that make sense for the worldbuilding. For instance, no Muslim characters would practice magic, and both Jewish and Muslim characters would conceive of magic in ways that fit their religion (rather than trying to adapt real religions to fit my worldbuilding). I also have some ideas for how these religions came about that fit between handwave and analogous history (though I realize the Qur'an is unchangeable, so I'm guessing Islam would have come about in the same way as IRL). BTW—I'm referring to humans, not other species coded as Muslim or Jewish. I may explore the concept of jinns more (particularly as how Muslims perceive fantastical beings), but I definitely need to do a lot more research before I go down that road! Finally, I saw a post somewhere (*but* it might have been someone else's commentary) suggesting to integrate certain aspects of Judaism (e.g., skullcaps in sacred places/while praying, counting days from sundown instead of sunset) into fantasy religions (monotheistic ones, of course) to normalize these customs, but as a non-Jewish person I feel this could easily  veer into appropriation-territory.  *One of the posts that I'm referring to in case you need a better reference of *my* reference: defining coding and islam-coded-fantasy

[This long ask was redacted to pull out the core questions asked]

"Both Jewish and Muslim characters would conceive of magic in ways that fit their religion (rather than trying to adapt real religions to fit my worldbuilding)."

Just a note that while having religion be part of magic is a legitimate way to write fantasy, I want to remind people that religious characters can also perform secular magic. Sometimes I feel like people forget about that particular worldbuilding option. (I feel this one personally because in my own books I chose to make magic secular so that my nonmagical heroine wouldn’t seem less close to God somehow than her wizard adoptive dad, who is an objectively shadier person.) I’m not saying either way is more or less correct or appropriate, just that they’re both options and I think sometimes people forget about the one I chose. But anyway moving on—

Your decision to make the water spirits not actual deities is a respectful decision given the various IRL monotheistic religions in your story, so, thank you for that choice. I can see why it gets messy though, since some people in-universe treat those powers as divine. I guess as long as your fantasy Jews aren’t being depicted as backwards and wrong and ignoring in-universe reality in favor of in-universe incorrect beliefs, then you’re fine…

"I saw a post somewhere (but it might have been someone else's commentary) suggesting to integrate certain aspects of Judaism (e.g., skullcaps in sacred places/while praying, counting days from sundown instead of sunset) into fantasy religions (monotheistic ones, of course) to normalize these customs, but as a non-Jewish person I feel this could easily veer into appropriation-territory."

That was probably us, as Meir and I both feel that way. What would make it appropriative is if these very Jewish IRL markers were used to represent something other than Judaism. It's not appropriative to show Jewish or Jewish-coded characters wearing yarmulkes or marking one day a week for a special evening with two candles or anything else we do if it's connected to Jewishness! To disconnect the markers of us from us is where appropriation starts to seep in.

–Shira

To bounce off what Shira said above, the source of the magic can be religious or secular--or put another way, it can be explicitly granted be a deity or through engagement with a specific religious practice, or it can be something that can be accessed with or without engaging with a certain set of beliefs or practices. It sounds like you’re proposing the second one: the magic is there for anyone to use, but the people in this specific religion engage with it through a framework of specific ideas and practices.

If you can transform into a “spirit” by engaging with this religion, and I can transform into a “spirit” through an analogous practice through the framework of Kabbalah, for example, and an atheist can transform through a course of secular technical study, then what makes yours a religion is the belief on your part that engaging in the process in your specific way, or choosing to engage in that process over other lifestyle choices, is in some way a spiritual good, not the mechanics of the transformation. If, on the other hand, humans can only access this transformative magic through the grace of the deities that religion worships, while practitioners of other religions lack the relationship with the only gods empowered to make that magic, that’s when I’d say you had crossed into doing more harm than good by seeking to include real-world religions.

Including a link below to a post you might have already seen that included the “religion in fantasy worldbuilding alignment chart.” It sounds like you’re in the center square, which is a fine place to be. The center top and bottom squares are where I typically have warned to leave real-world religions out of it.

More reading:

Jewish characters in a universe with author-created fictional pantheons

–Meir

[royposting]

queen tell me about roy harper's hudson sweater <3

oh my god you do NOT understand how many thoughts i have about the hudson U sweater. i have. so many. you do not know what you are asking of me.

see, in order to understand why i go so insane about it, you have to first understand how it ties in together with where roy logically would be as a person during this time in the timeline - i literally have an entire google doc for a logical timeline for him that i made because DC does not keep track of him during his teenage years, and also do not know how heroin and heroin addiction actually works.

logically speaking, for him to be at the state he was during snowbirds dont cry (GL/GA #85-86) he would not have been on gear for only a month or whatever they claim in it. i dont have personal experience with heroin but i have been in that world and have 1. struggled myself in my youth with drug abuse and 2. been friends with plenty of sober addicts.

homeboy would have had to be on the stuff for at least a few months at that point in time. probably started with pills, like oxycodone or similar, then moved on to snorting or smoking H. people rarely go from nothing to shooting up in such a short amount of time, and we see him having withdrawals and shooting in snowbirds.

i typically place snowbirds, and roys addiction, later on in the TL than the bronze age canon. this for several reasons, mainly:

he would, again, have been on gear for some time prior to it. meaning: his friends would have noticed if he was still with the teen titans at this time.

i also typically put him as the youngest member of the OG TT - same birth year as dick, but born in november to dicks march. i typically put ollie leaving for his eat, pray, love roadtrip with hal at the year roy (&dick) would turn 18. dick goes to college, sometime during that fall the TT break up, donna dumps his sorry ass for the last time, and he is left alone with no real support system since ollie (whose relationship with roy is famously strained in bronze age comics) left him alone.

this is when he starts using, in my HC TL.

SO in detective comics #402, roy visits dick in college. by my TL, he would already be using opiates to some degree, here. theyre wearing coats - its probably cold out.

did dick give him the sweater because he felt cold? he would have lost weight if he was using. making him freeze.

more importantly:

snowbirds would be placed around spring the year after. after snowbirds, roy sets off on his own, to tour with his band, great frog (we see an example of this in action comics #436). from the rise of arsenal mini run, we know that roy continued using during this time, spiralling and spiralling until finally deciding enough is enough.

throughout this ENTIRE TIME, even when travelling and touring and using heroin, MY MAN KEPT THE SWEATER. he kept it. he keeps wearing it, casually, it being completely his. he KEPT IT. ???!!??????!!!!!!!

when did dick give him the sweater? was it when roy visited him at hudson U? was it when he came to sit by roys bedside during his detox (which we learn about in i believe NTT)? was it later? i dont know. i cannot be sure. but it makes sense to me that it would be when he visited him at hudson U.

meaning mr roy ”everything i have ever hold onto has claw marks in it” harper held onto that sweater SO HARD through EVERYTHING. and he wears it casually. this fucking beacon of his affection for dickie straight on his chest.

my man has packed up his life so many times and that sweater has stayed with him. it genuinely drives me insane.

[wednesdaynn]

it's the god that heroine prays to

KINKTOBER 2024

A/N: short one, to start off tame, only 1700 or so words. I'm so glad to finally be participating in Kinktober this year, so i hope ya'll enjoy what's yet to come (pun not intended) the whole month.

summary: new to this relationship James and reader explore each other in a new way (why do i sound like a news anchor) (how do you make a summary?!!?)

warnings: masturbation (duh) voyeurism? idk man this speaks for itself

pairing: James Potter x Fem!Reader

KINKTOBER: Sex Toys/Strap-on, Mutual Masturbation, Muscle

your eyes cast upon your boyfriend, James in front of you. He’s standing at the foot of his bed, relaxed shoulders. He gives you a glance, his eyes raking upon your form. Sweet and patient. his fingers hook into the knot of his tie, pulling it loose and over his head, messing up his curls. hsi fingers are long and thick, worn down from the years of playing quidditch, in his backyard and now in the school league. He lets the gryffindor tie fall onto the floor. 

The curtains are drawn around the bed you’re laying in, the only curtain left open is the one at the end of the bed, where James is standing and it creates a halo effect around his body. tunnel vision, focused solely on him. His cheeks are flushed, his lips parted with soft breaths coming out and his eyes widened a fraction. His pupils are blown wide at the sight in front of him, your body, completely bare laying on his bed, in his sheets. Unlike him, your breathing is heavy, making your chest go up and down. your nipples are stiff from the cold air in the room. The fire isn’t doing much to warm you up. 

you and James had just started dating quite recently, he took you on sweet dates, introduced you to all his friends, plucked flowers from the forbidden forests, which you had scolded him about multiple times, but blushed nonetheless at the gift he had brought. All that was still lacking was the sex, while James and you had both had partners before this, you were still exploring each other's bodies and getting to know what the other liked. 

It was plain, simple and sweet. So when James had all but dragged you to his dorm, because his friends had detention you had anticipated a sweet love making. He closed the door and pushed you right up against it, kissing you all over and getting you quickly undressed. throwing you over his shoulder, he carried you over to the bed, throwing you down in the middle of it and getting on top of you. 

“Do you trust me?” he muttered into your ear. you hummed a soft yes and gave him a kiss on his lips. good he had said and planted his hand on your chest and pushed you down to lay flat on the mattress. 

he shrugs the piece of fabric off of his body, and his hands glide over his stomach, down to his happy trail. a small patch of hair, dark curls leading down his trousers. He unbuttons slowly and you know he’s trying to make a show out of it. Your eyes widen at the sight, the zipper squeaking, his adonis belt coming into sight. your breathing becomes quick and shallow and James lets out a soft chuckle. 

“d’you like what you see.” and you have half a mind to get up and slap in the face, but all you do is roll your eyes and let out a bratty yes. You can’t help but react to the erotic sight in front of you, your thighs rub together to alleviate the ache between your legs, hoping to create enough friction. 

“can you just hurry up please?” You all but whine at him. You lean up from your elbows and try to get up off the bed, but James only tuts at you, a smirk adorning his face with mischief in his eyes. “Stay down, baby. you can look but not touch.”

His hands slowly undo the belt on his hips, pulling it out of his buckle and making a show of it. slowly teasing it out of the belt loops and throwing it on the floor next to his other belongings. He unbuttons his trousers and undoes the zip. Pulling his underwear with it in one go, he struggles a bit getting it off of his ankles in one go, balancing on only one foot. He straightens himself up and his hand drifts down to his happy trail, and pulling at the hair right above his shaft, his soft breaths change into little whines. 

“Go on then, touch yourself for me baby, please.” His voice is a pitch higher than usual, and it stills you for a moment, the sight, the sounds, the feeling tingling in your body. It takes a few seconds for you to respond to his request but the throbbing of your pussy reminds you of the task at hand. A heat rushes over you at what he’s asking of you, butterflies dance around in your stomach at the intimacy of the situation. 

Your hand starts at the top of your body, pulling softly at the lobe of your ear and dances its way down your body. groping at your breasts and kneading them between your hands. Usually your focus is dedicated to how your body reacts to the feeling of you fondling and squeezing your breasts, but your mind wanders off to James at the foot of your bed. 

Your nipples harden at the sight in front of you. your fingers softly roll the nubs inbetween, pinching them between your thumb and forefinger. The feeling of seeing James before you and the pleasure shooting down from your tits is overwhelming you, and focusing is difficult. you become increasingly more turned on and impatient.

you blink up at him, a sight for sore eyes he is. You can feel your hole tightening, clenching, wishing to be filled. instead you’re granted the sight of James Potter standing at the foot of your bed, his hand wrapped around his dick, and his thumb pushing into his slit. spreading his precum around the tip.

whines and soft moans, deep and hitched breaths leave your mouth. It's erotic and sexy and it makes your mouth water. you let out a soft please but he doesn’t pay any attention to you. just focused on his own pleasure and the sight of your soft body. 

His hand wraps around his cock, the precum sweared around on his hand and dick is used as a lubricant. It’s wet and makes it a lot easier to jerk himself off. his head tips back and he moans out loud, the muscles in his neck strain and he clenches his jaw at the feeling coursing through him.

his chest goes up and down, his breath coming in short seconds and he grits his teeth. his abs are tightening with the feeling of fistening his cock up and down. clenching and unclenching his core. His legs are spread wide where he stands, giving you the perfect sight of his red and slick cock. 

your hand starts rolling your nipples between your fingers at a quicker pace and pinching them, the pain making you roll your hips forward searching for any type of friction. you want this to last as long as possible but you’re so needy for him, for his cock, or just about anything to fill you up, you’re not sure you can wait any longer. 

your hand dances across your stomach and rests at your mound. your palm puts slight pressure on it, giving you the most delicious feeling. your middle finger reaches down to your hole and circles it, covering it completely in your wetness. You run it upwards towards your clit, running tight circles around it, creating the softest burn. two fingers quickly join as you run uncoordinated circles around it. 

you get distracted by a loud moan from James, his hand is going up and down faster, pulling and squeezing around his dick. his eyebrows are scrunched as he looks down at you. it feels intimidating, the way he’s looking at you. staring you up and down. looking at your breast and the way they move up and down in time with your breathing, the way your slick fingers cover your vulva. your legs are shaking slightly from the pressure and you bite your lip at the scene in front of you. 

“open your legs up wider sweetheart, i wanna you fuck yourself.” you gasp at his words but do as you're told. pulling your knees up higher to your chest and spreading your legs wider for James to see. You push your middle and ring finger down to your hole and push in slowly, making sure you’re getting used to the stretch. And James all but whines at you. his fist going up and down at such a quick pace, you’re not sure how he’s holding himself back from cumming. 

“fuck love, you look so fucking good,” he thumbs at the slit of his tip and almost keens over from the stimulation. “Keep going, just like that. Tell me how you feel baby.” 

Your hole clenches around your fingers as you just about reach your g-spot. pushing in and out, putting pressure on the spongy spot inside of you. you throw your head back on the pillow and your back arches upwards. 

“So good James, please- oh god, feels s’good.” your moaning and whining and crying out for him to come touch you, but to no avail. James stays back at his place, admiring you from afar. He mutters out a “I'm so close baby.” and you nod at him, saying me too. 

pumping in and out of your hole, trying your best to focus on the sight in front of you. You feel yourself getting closer to the edge, as your legs begin to shake you make a repeated motion while curling your fingers in, trying to hit that spot as much as you can. you let out a small whine and Jamie before a small white circle of cum is coating your fingers. 

you spread your legs wider and motion him to come to you. He lets go of his cock and crawls over you. knees on either side of your hips as he tugs on his dick right in front of you. He has to lean one of his hands down next to your face to hold himself up as he fists himself tighter and quicker, before he comes over your stomach and breasts with a deep growl.  he lets himself fall forward, resting his head in the crook of your neck. 

"You good?” you hymn back at him. “just tired…” he chuckles at you and gives a soft peck on your hairline.

[unwanted-animal]

But you don't know what hell you put me through To have someone kiss the skin that crawls from you To feel your weight in arms I'd never use It's the God that heroin prays to

[dragon-ascent]

The novel

You happen upon a cheesy novel about Rex Lapis...so of course you show it to Zhongli.

★彡flustered zhongli, mentions of sex and spiciness but just trust me it's fluff

The first thing you do when you return home is kiss Zhongli and say, "Guess what I found!"

Zhongli, smiling at your enthusiasm, cocks his head slightly. "What did you find, darling?"

Grinning deviously, you set a book down on the table. "Gold, my love, literal gold!" Your husband glances over at the cover of the book.

"What is-" His smile falters and his cheeks heat up as he takes in the...rather suggestive illustration. It depicts Rex Lapis in partial human form, with long golden horns and a brown tail, holding in what seems to be a death grip a petite young woman wearing a sheer nightgown. Also, Rex Lapis is shirtless.

"Morax is my Mate," you read the title aloud for him, "it's a sappy, crappy romance fanfiction about you and some random female OC!"

Your husband blinks. "Romance? I - he looks like he wants to kill her."

You shake your head with a snort. "That sultry look is meant to be hot and threatening towards rivals!"

"Rivals," Zhongli repeats. "What, pray tell, is this story about?"

"It's about this village woman becoming Morax's mate, as the title suggests. Celestia appointed her as such, and thus her ordinary life gets thrown out of whack! And Morax is like, obsessed with her for no reason other than she's his mate. She has no personality outside of biting her lip and tucking her hair behind her ear every other page!"

Zhongli's brow furrows. "I...see..."

"And guess what," you say, flipping the pages until you get to the part you want, "the smut scenes go on for pages and pages! This one in particular spans thirty-four pages."

"Thirty-four!" Zhongli repeats, paling. "And it is one scene! What could these characters possibly be doing?"

You stare him down long and hard, smirking. "Do you really want to know, darling~?"

Zhongli's cheeks go from pale to deep red. "On second thought, I do not wish to-"

"Fingering, overstimulation, tail-play-"

"Oh Celestia, please spare me from-"

"-Edging, double penetration, oral-"

"I have had quite enough of-"

"Bondage, bathtub sex, usage of titles like Sex Lapis-"

"S-Sex Lapis..?" If Zhongli could drop dead right now, it would be because he cringed himself to death. In fact, he sits down to process this.

Trying not to laugh, you sit beside him. "You look a little under the weather, hehe."

Zhongli, rubbing his temples, is the very picture of 'under the weather,' if not more so. If he were human, he would possibly have thrown up at least twice by now. "Give me that," he says, taking the book from you and skimming through the prose for a semblance of sanity.

Except, he only feels more and more nauseous with each paragraph he reads. Forced marking? A competing god? Toxic possessiveness? An uprising that somehow only this heroine with the personality of a broken vase can handle? His closes his eyes and wonders when he can return to the earth as dust.

Watching him intently, you ask as he closes the book with a long sigh, "So what do you think of this book that should totally be illegal?"

"Well..." Zhongli gulps and clears his throat, tapping into his rational side. "Freedom of creation and expression is a fundamental right which the citizens of Liyue are entitled to exercise. This...this novel has been appropriately tagged as a fictional work meant for recreational purposes, and therefore...it does not break any rules. It has every right to exist."

You flash him another devious grin. "Uh-huh. And what do you really think of it, Zhongli?"

He draws in a sharp breath. "It is pure and utter garbage and I sincerely wish to delete this from my memory forever."

"Aww, Sex Lapis doesn't like it?" you tease, poking his cheek.

"No, and I am not Sex Lapis..."

"Sex Lapis! Sex Laaaaapis!" Poke. Poke. Poke.

"Hmph. Are you aiming to be punished like in the novel?"

"Maybe..."

[silentgravesdontexist]

Alright, here's the part 2 of Hozier songs that remind me of the following OP Men. If you haven't read the first part yet, here's the masterlist! Might be the final part too since I'm running low on ideas—

Featured Characters: Yamato, Jimbei, Shanks, Law, Kid, and Sabo

CW: Suggestive Content (its Hozier. Some songs are just down right feral)

Yamato

My lover's got humour She's the giggle at a funeral Knows everybody's disapproval I should've worshipped her sooner If the heavens ever did speak She's the last true mouthpiece Every Sunday's getting more bleak A fresh poison each week "We were born sick," you heard them say it My church offers no absolutes She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom" The only heaven I'll be sent to Is when I'm alone with you

In Yamato's eyes, there was just something about you that made you stood out from the rest. Different just like him— in a good way. That's what kept him drawn to you.

Oh, how he'd worship you like the ethereal being you are. Kneel at your feet and kiss the knuckles of your hands— the lengths he would go through to be blessed with that smile of yours.

The love you two shared was your own. It doesn't matter if the whole world frowns on it. He loved you, and you loved him. That's all that truly mattered to him.

Jimbei

We lay here for years or for hours Thrown here or found To freeze or to thaw So long, we'd become the flowers Two corpses we were Two corpses I saw

And they'd find us in a week When the weather gets hot After the insects have made their claim I'd be home with you I'd be home with you

I have never known sleep Like the slumber that creeps to me I have never known color Like this morning reveals to me

Jimbei's adoration for you felt as calm and soothing as the gentle waves that lap at your feet by the shorelines. It felt safe and gentle— almost as if you could fall deeper and deeper without fear or worry.

He held you in his arms and guided you along a field of flowers. His patience as unwavering as his fierve loyalty was to you. And lie beside you to indulge is an indulgence he'd never tire of.

There's a comforting silence that envelops you both. In his eyes, you were all there was. The past, present, and future— he craved to share it all with you.

Shanks

But I've had no love like your love, ooh, from nobody I'd be appalled if I saw you ever try to be a saint I wouldn't fall for someone I thought couldn't misbehave But I want you to know that I've had no love like your love

Honey, when you warm the bed on Wednesday (yeah) It's suicide Tuesday back in LA If I had the choice between hearing either noise The excitement of a thousand, or the soothing of your voice

At first chance, I'd take the bed warmed by the body, woo I once warmed my hands over a burning Maserati, woo

You knew Shanks adored the life of piracy, and you respected that. And how he loved you all the more for it. The long distance from your warmth did nothing to wane his burning desire for you.

At every chance he gets, he'll find you— even if its only for a short while. To remind you just how much his devotion runs deep. He'd gladly spend hours worshipping your body.

He'll find his way back to you. Always. Should his heart be a compass, there is no doubt it'll point to the seas. But you were that little minx that always had him straying far from the sea.

Trafalgar D. Law

Never feel too good in crowds With folks around When they're playing The anthems of rape culture loud Crude and proud Creatures baying All I've ever done is hide From our times When you're near me Honey, when you kill the lights And kiss my eyes I feel like a person for a moment of my life

But you don't know what hell you put me through To have someone kiss the skin that crawls from you To feel your weight in arms I'd never use

It's the god that heroin prays to It feels good, girl, it feels good It feels good, girl, it feels good It feels good, girl, it feels good Oh to be alone with you

Law knows what its like to be alone. A kind of isolation he never even asked for in the first place and yet the gods deemed he go through it. Eventually, it became a comfort to him— his own company.

All the while you were someone who'd come into his life. A flickering flame in the winter of his soul. And just like a moth, he felt drawn to you in ways he'd never be able to explain.

He expected your love to hurt. It didn't. It enveloped him in a warmth that made him forget what the cold even felt like in the first place. That made him crave more.

Eustass Kid

To be twisted by something A shame without a sin Like how she twisted the bog man After she married him

Rare is this love, keep it covered I need you to run to me, run to me, lover Run until you feel your lungs bleeding

But in all the world There is one lover worthy of her With as many souls claimed as she

But for all he's worth He still shatters always on her earth The cause of every tear she'd ever weep

It was an inexplicable and complicated thing between you and Kid. A burning and passionate love that it left the two of you drawing each other close only to pull away from the other.

By the gods, you knew you'd do anything for each other. The raw and visceral intensity of it kept drawing you two close once more in hopes that your paths will finally intertwine as one.

It may not be today as the bed beside you feels cold and empty. But perhaps— just maybe, a day will come back that the walls crumble down to guide a path where the two of you can walk together.

Sabo

Give your heart and soul to charity 'Cause the rest of you The best of you Honey, belongs to me

Ain't it a gentle sound, the rollin' in the graves? Ain't it like thunder under earth, the sound it makes? Ain't it exciting you, the rumble where you lay? Ain't you my baby? ain't you my baby?

Nothing fucks with my baby Nothing can get a look in on my baby Nothing fucks with my baby Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing

[trickricksblog08]

BOMBSHELL! Mel Gibson just released part 1 of classified documents where he is exposing Pedophile Ring and Hollywood Elites.

He said “It’s become more lucrative and much safer to sell malleable teens than drugs or guns. A pound of heroin or an AK-47 can be retailed once, but a young girl can be sold 10 to 15 times a day—and a ‘righteous’ pimp confiscates 100 percent of her earnings.”

You can see the full evidence of part 1 on his official Telegram channel. Because of security reasons, the channel will be closed to private in 24 hours, only those who will join now will see the SHOCKING EVIDENCE!

His life is in danger. We are praying for you and rooting for you.

God bless you Mel! 🙏

[askganon]

Hello King Ganondorf,

apologies if my ask is disrespectful or you don't have an answer. I'm simply a fan of mythologies and beliefs, and as far as I'm aware (not that I've done any research yet) most of Hyrule follows the belief of Hylia (which??? I think could count as a religion???). But Gerudo follow the beliefs of the 7 Heroines.

Would you say that there are many differences? Belief wise and holiday wise, because I image you celebrate different days.

Other than that, how does it feel, knowing that everyone else follows one religion and you're the only ones with different beliefs?

Even if you don't respond, I thank you for reading this. And I hope you'll have a nice day

- with regards, a mythology enthusiast

No disrespect has been given. I shall answer your inquiries.

There is one key difference. The seven heroines were heroes to my people, not Gods. The Gerudo of my time believed in but one Goddess, The Goddess of the Sands.

Our beliefs also do not put our Goddess on a savior-like pedestal. She is a mother to us, and a mother's chief duty is to prepare her children to survive without them. Such is the same with the Goddess of the Sand's teachings; survival by our own means.

Because of this, out celebrations are not thanking the gods for their bounties of harvest or prosperity given to us. Rather, they are communal expressions of our accomplishments as a collective, working together to achicleve a specific goal.

They are essentially us telling our mother "We still survive."

As for the others, they may pray to any God or Goddess they feel will answer their prayers. It matters not in the end.

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

It's The God That Heroin Prays To

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Body worship (and general idolization), multiple orgasms, oral (f receiving), very huge praise kink Matty, fingering, unprotected sex (BE SAFE IN THESE STREETS), creampie, kinda cockwarming I think, Matt is feeling minorly sorta guilty/insecure

Genre: smut, fluff, a little angst I think

Summary: "It feels good, girl it feels good // Oh to be alone with you" - To Be Alone by Hozier

***

When you walk into the hall with Matt on your arm you can tell immediately sense him tense up to combat his discomfort. You've brought him with you to a work event and while you offered him an out he insisted on being your date when you told him you had a function.

"Are you okay Matty?" You ask him.

"It's more crowded than I expected." Matt mutters quietly. He's never been too good in crowds, it's why you gave him the chance to opt out, but he'll always choose to be with you when he can.

"I know baby, we won't stay long. I just have to chat with a few people before we can go." You tell him. Once he nods you join the group.

"Y/n! Hi! How are you darling?" Your coworker Ella comes up to you excitedly.

"Hi Ella! I'm good. How are you?" You let go of Matt briefly to accept her hug.

"Good good! And who's this with you?" Ella's attention turns to Matt when you loop your arm back through his.

"This is Matthew!" You say excitedly.

"The boyfriend!?" She gasps.

"The boyfriend!" You smile.

"Nice to meet you." Matt nods.

"The pleasure is all mine. Y/n talks about you a lot and can I just say you are such a cutie!"

"She winked." You whisper to Matt and he laughs as he responds.

"Thank you." He says to her.

"If you'll excuse us Ella we just got here so I have some more mingling to do." You say.

"Oh! Of course. I'll find you later." Ella says and you lead Matt away from her.

"So you talk about me a lot at work?" Matt asks with a cheeky smile.

"Of course I do!  Who wouldn't brag about having a hotshot lawyer for a boyfriend." You shrug like it's obvious, because, to you, it is and Matt just laughs. The two of you circulate the room introducing Matt to several of your colleagues.

"Is that y/n?" A loud voice calls for your attention later when you and Matt are approaching the bar. You sigh and turn around to see your least favorite associate at your office.

"Brian! Hi!" You force a smile as he approaches you. Matt shifts subtly closer to you at the change in your demeanor.

"I heard you were here, can't believe you didn't find me earlier sweetheart." Brian says jovially and you have to resist the urge to roll your eyes as you fake a laugh.

"It's a crowded party. Matt honey this is Brian. Brian, meet my boyfriend, Matthew." You say and Matt puts his hand out towards Brian.

"Boyfriend, you are one lucky man." Brian says as he shakes Matt's hand.

"Oh trust me I know." Matt chuckles pulling you towards him with a hand securely around your waist.

"You look gorgeous by the way y/n. In case no one's told you." Brian says.

"Bold of you to assume you'd be the first but thank you." You say and Brian laughs.

"I would hope the first was the man escorting you tonight but you never know."

"There's not a day that goes by where Matthew doesn't make me feel like the most beautiful person in the world at all times. No need to worry about that." You say. "Excuse me, Brian but I have to talk to Dr. Lewis about something before I forget. I'll see you around the office." You quickly excuse yourself and tug Matt away from the annoying conversation.

"Not a fan of him I gather?" He asks once you're out of earshot.

"Not at all. I've been holding off on seeing Dr. Lewis so I could keep it in my back pocket because I knew I'd run into him and it's the perfect excuse."

"So we really are going to talk to a Dr. Lewis?"

"Yes, she's my supervisor and she said there was something she wanted to discuss here." You say finding her quickly in the crowd. Once you get to her, you cover introductions and the two of you launch into conversation. After a few minutes, Matt gently grabs your attention by touching your wrist.

"Y/n, something's wrong." Matt whispers to you. You excuse yourself from your discussion with Dr. Lewis for a moment to address him.

"Something's wrong here?" You ask in your own whisper.

"No- not here, a few blocks away I-"

"If you have to go, go. I'll be fine."

"I'm sorry." Matt kisses you quickly before disappearing into the crowd.

"Everything okay?" Your boss asks when you turn back to her.

"Oh yeah, everything's fine. He has to step out for a work call. You know lawyers hardly have downtime most days." You play off smoothly before redirecting her to what you'd been talking about before. When you eventually wrap things up with her you slip out of the event easily, only stopping to say a couple of goodbyes with a smile and the same 'he's outside on a call' excuse for where Matt is when asked. You know Matt will meet you back at your apartment when he's done doing the devil's work so you make your way home alone. It's only after you've showered, changed, and had a little snack that your living room window slides open as you're putting your dish in the sink.

"Y/n, I am so sorry about tonight." Matt says as he pulls the red helmet off and walks over to you. He wraps his arms around your waist and you bring a hand up to caress his cheek.

"It's fine Matty. I know your job is never done." You say with a calmness in your voice meant to soothe his remorse.

"I shouldn't have left you like that it-"

"I'm happy you came at all. You didn't have to remember?" You say using your hands on his face to pull him down enough for you to place gentle kisses on each of his closed eyes and then on his lips.

"I hate doing this to you." Matt says leaning further to kiss your neck.

"I'm not upset with you baby." You gently work him out of his suit as his fingers slide under the hem of the t-shirt you're wearing.

"I love you y/n. You know that don't you?" He asks after a moment of silence, the red outfit piled on the floor at this point, leaving Matt in a tank top and his boxers.

"Of course I do. And I love you, Matty. Do you wanna talk about what pulled you away tonight? You seem, particularly affected by this one." You gently play with his hair as you talk. Matt can be pretty touchy after a night as Daredevil, but this feels like more than that.

"Don't wanna talk about it. Not tonight. Tonight I just want to please you. Prove my love."

"You don't have to prove your love Matthew I know you love me." You tell him. Matt drops to his knees in front of you, unseeing eyes staring up at you.

"Y/n, sweetheart, please, let me worship you." He says, hands on your hips. You grab his chin as you contemplate his words.

"Alright, Matt, my darling. If you want to worship me, do it. Treat me like your god." You say, letting him go. Matt wastes no time pulling your panties down and burying his head between your thighs. He eagerly licks at your cunt and you tangle your fingers in his hair to balance yourself as your legs wobble.

"God, you taste so good." Matt grunts against you, slurping your juices noisily.

"Fuck Matt, just like that, baby." You moan. You tug on Matt's hair and relish in the way he groans into your pussy at the feeling. His hands tighten on your thighs and he pulls you further towards him, desperate to bury his tongue as far as he can between your walls. You grind against his mouth, whimpering as you chase your orgasm. Matt lets you use his tongue to get yourself off his mouth hung open as you ride his face. Only when your legs start to shake in warning does he take over again, focusing his attention on your clit, teasing the sensitive button with tight circles of his tongue until he tastes your orgasm hit you with a whine. He works you through it with soft licks until your heart begins to slow.

"Thank you." He sighs out kissing your hip.

"What are you thanking me for?" You ask pushing his hair back with your fingers as he trails kisses up your stomach. He's out from under your shirt with a dazed look on his face as he answers.

"Letting me make you cum on my tongue." He says kissing you fiercely. You drape your arms over his shoulders, giving him as much as he's giving you. You can taste yourself on his lips. The kiss is dizzying and you don't even notice his hand trailing back down your body until two fingers glide inside of you. You throw your head back with a moan as Matt fingers you, hooking his fingers to catch against the spongy part of your inner walls. Matt litters your exposed neck with kisses muttering against your skin. "So pretty. You sound just... so pretty. God, you're perfect y/n." Matt's words are breathy against your throat and you can't help but whine at them, the praise only further coaxing you to another orgasm.

"Keep going Matty, fuck I'm close." You whimper. Rather blindly you reach for his dick underneath his boxers. He jolts when your hand touches him, a strangled groan reaching your ears at the sudden stimulation. He's hard and heavy as you stroke him, precum making him slick already. The rhythm of his fingers falters for a moment as he lets your touch distract him a bit. It doesn't take long for Matt to refocus though, pumping the two digits into you relentlessly even with your hand making it hard to focus.

"Come on my love, let go for me, please." Matt huffs out, his thumb joining the mix to rub tight circles against your clit. The extra stimulation quickly pushes you over the edge and your head falls forward as you cry out at the feel of your orgasm. You ride out the high grinding against Matt's fingers until he pulls them out to lift you onto the countertop. "Fuck I love you." He says kissing you again. It's all sloppy, teeth and tongues crashing against each other as he frantically lines himself up with your entrance. He sinks into you with a long groan as he bottoms out. "This, I'm sure is heaven." He says burying his head in your neck as he sets a vicious rhythm with his hips. You're all moans and mewls as he pounds into you viciously. It's hard and deep, like he truly is trying to bury himself inside your walls. "God! The way you feel is so- perfect doesn't even begin to describe it." He grunts.

"Fuck you're so deep! Don't stop Matty please don't." You whine, nails clawing at his back. This, this is all that matters. Here is where he feels like a person for a moment of his life. You in his arms is the very thing he lives for.

"I love you y/n." Matt says, kissing you messily as he continues to fuck you.

"I love you too baby." You moan breathily. Matt's fingers find your clit again, he can feel his orgasm creeping up on him but he's determined to get you off once more before it.

"Cum for me y/n, please. Wanna feel it around me. Please baby." Matt pants out before latching onto the sensitive spot on your neck. You quiver against him as your orgasm washes over you.

"Oh my god." You keen. Matt's hips don't slow, prolonging your orgasm as he chases his own, the pulsing of your walls coaxing him over the edge rather quickly and he lets out a shuddering groan as he empties himself inside you. You stay like that for several moments, wrapped in each other's arms as you both recover.

"Thank you." Matt sighs after a stretch of silence.

"Thank you. Can't say I expected tonight to end like this." You giggle tiredly.

"I just- it feels good to be alone with you." He says softly.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well, we'll just have to make sure we always have a space to be alone then." You kiss the top of the top of his head and then, without warning, Matt carries you to your bedroom. Here he can hide, from crowds, from himself, from the evil he fights. Here with you, it always feels like the worst is over.

***

[eddiiiieeee]

My Angel ☆☆

Slash x reader 

warnings: a bit of angst at the start, just fluff, mentions of alcohol and drugs, etc.

summary: y/n and Saul get into a fight about his addiction, and saul finds a letter y/n had written about him.

authors note: listen to September - sparky deathcap, because it fit 💀 part 1!

Saul's eyes slowly began fluttering open, how he'd prayed it was all a bad dream. he could see a figure standing against the balcony door, the soft wind occasionally blowing her hair. it was her, it was y/n. He got up slowly rubbing his eyes as he walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and putting his forehead against her shoulder, what made his heart ache was the fact that she tensed up "please don't do that" he whispered, not being able to handle the thought of her leaving him. She kept her gaze at the beach straight ahead, she knew she should listen to the voice in her head, not Saul's begging her not to leave, but that tiny one that was warning her, to not put herself through, god she should listen but how could she? how could she leave her angel. her beautiful boy.

"you have to promise me. promise me that you won't relapse again, because I can't do this every time. I can't keep handling having to put you in a new rehab program every single fucking time you relapse because the one before didn't work. I can't handle coming home one day to find you dead on our bathroom floor, I really can't Saul, I get so worried when you head over to the studio because I know that if Axl even offers you a drop of fucking heroin you'd take it without a second thought. I can't lose you Saul, and you can't seem to comprehend that, I really can't." she said letting out a few sobs as her hands flew to hide her face in her palms, Saul looked at her and spun her slowly "I am so sorry sweetheart." he mumbled his own tears rolling down his cheeks as he hugged her tightly she wrapped her arms around him sobbing into his chest, how she missed his scent. "I promise you I'm never doing any of that shit ever again, I swear to you y/n." he mumbled into her hair kissing the top of her as she moved to look at him, he looked down into her eyes, wondering how could he have hurt her so much "can I kiss you?" he asked moving some of her hair away from her face as she nodded, parting her lips a bit as he leaned down to kiss her, his hands resting on her cheeks as hers stayed in their place around his waist "I love you, I love you so so much it hurts." he mumbled to her against her lips "I know" she mumbled back as they kept their lips connected, Slash always told her that his lips were made to kiss hers, just hers and no one else's. they were moulded perfectly to fit her lips. once they'd pulled away, y/n kept her forehead against his "I love you, and one day, if you'll take me, I'm gonna marry you, I'm gonna take you wherever you want, we can have those kids you said you wanted" he chuckled through his tears. "you know, the ones with big curly hair and brown eyes?" he said as she grinned a bit knowing he'd read her journal as she had never mentioned kids to Slash "you read that?" she mumbled as she wiped her cheeks "yep, I read the part where I'm your angel. just so you know, I know someone whos even more angelic then I am." he smiled as she moved back a bit to look at him, as her eyebrows furrowed "and whos that?" "you." he said, watching her cheeks turn red as she chuckled a bit "I seriously love you so much," Saul told her caressing her cheek with his thumb "I love you too, baby," she said as he connected their lips once more .... this was short I'm sorry!! but here's part 2!

[respectthepetty]

Pride Petty Watch (SOTUS) 2/5

Since so many people voted for the two blacklisted shows I was supposed to watch during Pride, it unlocked the wild card of me rewatching my sworn enemy SOTUS. I don't remember anything about the show, and the only thing I truly took away from it was hating Krist for the last eight years, so I'm settling in and revisiting the past to figure out why I forgot about every single plot point of this show including that Jan was in it and that Kongpob x M were the perfect ghost ship.

I left off praying that Arthit gets meaner before he gets nicer, which I consider as getting better before he gets worse, but since I'm getting Dangerous Romance flashbacks flash forwards, I doubt Arthit can commit to bullying Kong much longer before he turns full simp.

How am I not supposed to root for Kong x M when M looks so devastated every time Kong leaves his side to go talk to May. I know M likes May, but the way these scenes are set up, it's hard not to think that M likes Kong and he is in pain when everyone else gets his friend's time since he has known Kong SINCE JUNIOR HIGH!

Thrilled that Wad is always ready to lay hands first and ask questions later. Also excited that he is motivated by pettiness just like me, so the only reason he is playing in the tea product placement game is just to spite the seniors. Petty work makes the dream work. Amen.

The pink milk in this series needs to be studied because on one end of the spectrum, we in BL Land know the pink milk is a staple of a Thai BL (which is slowly coming back in Last Twilight, Only Friends, Addicted Heroin and I Saw You in My Dream), but on the other end, the show itself treats the pink milk like those dumb hot takes from people asking if drinking fruity cocktails makes a man a fruit, or if sucking on popsicles makes a man want to suck a dick, or if eating food in general makes a man queer. It just feels as if this show treats Arthit that way every time he orders it, like "GOTCHA, QUEER!"

If I were that food vendor, and Kong started popping out with these little nuggets while Arthit just kept threatening him, their business would be all up in the group chat because I'd be messaging all my friends that these two gay guys were practically foreplaying right in front of my salad pork skewers.

So of course Arthit would show up to the game just to stand there and glare at a man drenched in sweat from playing a hard game of basketball like the internalized-homophobic asshat he is.

God, some things never change.

WE GOT COCA-COLA MONEY?!

I gasped not because of the note on this conversation but because of the comment coming from AN OPENLY GAY MAN on the hazers squad. I am not Thai, so the only way I can relate to the hazers is through Greek life (fraternities and sororities), and even a long long time ago, I knew openly gay men in frats, and they pulled ALL the girls since girls felt safer around them than the straights, but the look Prem and Arthit are giving Tuta when he says this is what I'm laser-focused on because they show toleration rather than acceptance. I'm taking those looks personally.

Arthit continues to say Kong's face is annoying, but he never says it's ugly. Sir, I see your gay awakening on the horizon.

AND M WITH THE FUCKING LOOKS AGAIN! He is looking at Kong on stage then looking at May looking at Kong on the stage, and I know where this is going, but my god does it feel like M is sad because he believes Kong is straight and wouldn't reciprocate the feelings he has for his best friend SINCE JUNIOR HIGH!

I have made it clear that I do not like Krist (I believe his acting is flimsy but I can't even act like I like people, so who am I to judge), but I don't think the people behind the filming of this show liked him either because these opening title cards between the parts of the episodes are doing him dirty.

Excuse me, little stage presenter, I need to know what the fuck was going on with this performance that they had a western theme with modern guns. Was it Big Sean's "I Don't Fuck With You"?

And why is Jan looking like Taylor Swift in "Teardrops On My Guitar"? This show was in 2016, but the styling and hair are in 2003.

Now the judges are coming for Kong, and Lord knows he is going to answer in the most uncontroversial way because Kong refuses to pick a side against hazing and the boy he likes being punished by.

*eye roll* I did not think I'd make it here this quickly, but I'm on Arthit's side because Kong IS annoying. Jan's character looks full-on Stockholm Syndrome into the camera when Kong is answering, yet homeboy is just over there giving the most ridiculous reason of "our hazers have their reasons for hazing us" and now I see the direct line to GMMTV forgiving parents for abuse (Double Savage!).

Kong can play basketball really well. He remembers everyone's name. The whole class wanted him to be president. He is great in school. Now he is the Freshy Moon. Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. I hate this kid.

M, my most beloved, now I see why you're quiet a lot.

I appreciate M for also stating that Kong is just great at everything without trying, but it also feels that he is hyping up his boy because he has been IN LOVE WITH HIS SINCE JUNIOR HIGH!

In a room full of people, only Kong notices that M is unhappy, and now I see the direct they-are-married-but-not-a-couple line to Peaceful Property. New understands these roles well.

THE QUESTIONS THAT NEED ANSWERS! Can you run 54 laps, Arthit? Can you squat 200 times, Prem? These freshmen won everything, yet Arthit is still being a dickwad, and he just got his ass off of school probation. Bold move, sir! I want the juniors to suffer. Except for Bright. My boy has never done anything wrong, and if he did, he didn't.

I saw an umbrella in The Ex-Morning pilot trailer, and if that show doesn't give me a scene of these two arguing in the rain over the dumbest shit, then what is the point?

All those people watching Arthit, and none of his boys could run with him? If the purpose of hazing is unity, obviously the juniors didn't get that memo when they were being hazed as freshmen, so why continue the traditions that they don't even abide by?! Arthit is better than me because I would have crawled my ass back to my dorm before accepting their help SINCE THEY DIDN'T EVEN RUN LAPS! And now this little freshman wants to be up in his face. What's the point of the umbrella now?! He is a boy in a BL who has been in the rain for hours. HE IS ALREADY GOING TO DIE NO THANKS TO YOU UNHELPFUL DOUCHE NOZZLES!

I was just on Arthit's side, but then the show decided to tell me that entire seniors-hazing-the-juniors thing was a setup, and mixed with most of the images on Arthit's door being black-and-white, and one of those images being Charles Manson's Rolling Stone cover, I'm back to hating him again. So in case anyone is still following along, I now hate both of the leads. Can I get M and Bright back?

Kong says several times that Arthit can punish him, then he irons Arthit's clothes. If this show would just lean into the kink of it all, I would embrace everything about it. If Kong could just be a masochist dom, I would be delighted. JAPAN, COME HERE RIGHT NOW! Fuck remaking Love in the Air! Remake this kinky shit instead!

This is what a sado sub looks likes and Japan would know exactly what to do with him. Now I'm mad that I'm watching the babygirl-fication of a perfectly good jerk.

Well hello there you two! You wanna make out before going to the hospital? Maybe keep it all a secret from everybody else? I'm so pissed that I can't remember this plot now because I don't think they will be a thing BUT THEY WOULD BE PERFECT!

And I'm still rooting for my boy M to get his best friend since unlike Arthit, M can at least acknowledge that his friend is pretty to his face. No internalized homophobia here but probably because M isn't even a homo. I've sailed ships with less.

😬🥴🙃 Thank you subtitler for keeping the word. It's important. So are the looks that I'm taking personally. And BRIGHT IS THE ONE TO SAY IT! So I like M now and only M. Everyone can eat dirt and choke.

Arthit's nickname means warmth? I'm starting to remember why I forgot this show. Like Celine Dion, "It's All Coming Back to Me Now"

And I hate it.

[loveesiren]

𝖲𝗍𝖺𝗋𝖽𝗎𝗌𝗍 (𝖯𝗍. 2)

Disclaimer: I absolutely fucking hate this chapter but atleast it gives some background I guess. I'm sorry I made ya'll wait three weeks 😭 Also, I'm using the Sturniolo's as characters, in no way shape or form am I trying to convey that this is who they actually are.

Synopsis: Y/n finds out her best friends might not actually be the friends she thinks.

Warnings: Language, attempted SA (not from the triplets), scars, heroin use, police

Word Count: 2.7k+

I made my way down the dimly lit street. I was freezing and pissed off and high out of my mind off whatever my asshole date had given me. I met some loser named Marcus on Instagram and met him in downtown Boston to hangout. We took some pills and drove around but when I wouldn’t put out, he kicked me to the curb. 

So here I was, walking in the ghetto streets of Boston at 2am. No sixteen year old should be out here in this area, especially at this hour, but I thought I was invincible. My only mistake was not charging my phone before I left. The only person who knew where I was was Alahna. Everyone else assumed I was spending the night at Alahna’s and I made her swear not to tell anyone. My parents would ground me for the rest of my life and Chris, well, Chris just worried. A lot. He was my best friend after all. 

I clutched my purse close to my body, keeping my head down and avoiding eye contact with anyone that was out at this hour. I noticed what looked like a gas station a couple blocks ahead so I picked up the pace, hoping they would have a place I could charge my phone or atleast a phone I could use to call a taxi.

I heard whistling nearby and I froze. “Well good evenin’, darlin’!” A man shouted out and I prayed to God he wasn’t talking to me. I continued walking, quicker now but it wasn’t long before I heard footsteps catching up with me. Two large men surrounded me and I froze once again. “Don’t ya know it’s rude to ignore a man when he’s talkin’ to ya’?” 

His southern accent was thick and they both smelled of cheap booze and cigarettes. “What do you want?” I ask nervously, cowering under their dark stares. 

“You look a little too nice to be from around these parts. Where ya off to at this hour? Maybe me and my friend here could help ya out,” the man smirked. “For a small fee, of course.”

“If it’s money you want, just take it!” I yelled, thrusting my purse at the man and trying to push past him but his goon was quick to grab me. “Let me go!”

“Oh I don’t think so, Princess. We wanna have some fun.” The men let out a haunting laughter and I could feel the tears welling in my eyes. I should have just fucked that stupid boy. I should have just stayed home. 

I began thrashing around as hard as I could, desperately trying to squirm my way out of the mans’ tightening grip. “HELP!” I screamed out. “PLEASE! HELP!” 

Before I could get another word out a blunt object struck me across my head and I collapsed to the ground in a dizzy heap. I tried to feel where I’d been hit but my vision was blurred. I could feel a wetness running down the side of my face and landing on the concrete below. I let out an agonizing scream before consciousness completely escaped me.

“Y/n? Y/n? Y/n?” A familiar voice repeating my name in the darkness. 

“Chris?” I attempted. I couldn’t feel my lips.

“Y/n, wake up!”

I opened my eyes and drew in a sharp breath, realizing quickly that my lungs were desperate for air. I clutched my chest as I fought to catch my breath.

“You’re okay, sweetheart. Just breathe.” Chris’s soothing voice was like music to my ears 

“Fuck, what happened?” I ask after finally steadying my breathing. 

“You were screaming in your sleep.” Chris said. “Did you have the nightmare again?”

I sighed, remembering that God awful night. “Yeah, I think so…” I touched the scar on my head. It was almost three inches long, sitting partially on my forehead but most of it was covered by my hair thankfully. I looked over at Chris, he was looking down, twiddling his thumbs and biting his lip. He hated remembering that night. But I owed my life to him. 

I crawled into his lap and wrapped my arms around him. I felt him let out a sigh of relief as he snaked his arms around my waist and squeezed me tight. I know how much anxiety he got about my safety after finding me like he did. 

What I didn’t know that night was how amazing my friends truly were. Alahna had been tracking my phone the whole night to make sure I was safe and when she realized I was no longer moving by vehicle and instead walking in some sketchy part of downtown Boston, she immediately called Chris and his brothers. Alahna tracked my phone all the way up until it died and then Matt drove up and down the streets of the area I was in. When Chris saw the two guys picking up my limp, bleeding body in an attempt to get me out of my dress, he jumped from his brothers’ moving vehicle without warning to save me. Luckily he had back up. Matt drove up onto the sidewalk towards the men, scaring them off.

I mean, I don’t remember any of this since I was bleeding out and unconscious. But it’s the story I’ve been told. I do faintly remember Chris’s panicked voice calling out my name. I tried desperately to respond to him but I’m not sure if any words made it past my lips. 

Since then Chris has definitely been a little overprotective. But I can’t blame him. I’m grateful to him. To Matt, Nick, and Alahna too. If it wasn’t for them I would’ve been raped and most likely dead. Unfortunately, the men who did it were never caught. I tried my best to give a description but the drugs mixed with fear and partial memory loss from my head injury wasn’t enough information for the cops to find them. So the second I turned eighteen and graduated highschool, I was ready to pick up my life and move across the country. Luckily, Chris, Matt, and Nick were blowing up on Youtube and agreed that Los Angeles would be a great place to further their career. So we all left to start a new life.

“I love you.” I told Chris.

“I love you too, Y/n. Are you feeling okay? You were pretty drunk last night.”

I pulled back to look at him with a guilty smirk. “Yeah…sorry about that..”

He gave me a warm smile. “No biggie.”

I looked down at his hand that was now resting on my knee, noticing it was wrapped in a blood soaked bandage. “Fuck Chris! What happened to your hand?!”

“Nothing, don’t worry about it.” He said, attempting to hide his hand.

I could feel the frown forming on my face. “It was my fault…wasn’t it?”

“No! No, sweetheart. It’s not your fault.”

“Yes it is. It always is.” I said, climbing off of him and off the bed entirely. “I always do something to fuck up and worry you and you can’t just let me ruin your fun all the time, Chris!”

“What do you mean? You didn’t ruin anything.” He said, standing up to meet me.

I worked on changing out of Chris’s clothes and into some of my own I had laying around his room. “I just…I just can’t have you worrying about me all the time. When we go out I want you to have fun, let loose, meet girls…” the words tasted bitter on my tongue. Chris almost winced at the sound of them. “I don’t need you to spend all your time and energy taking care of me, okay?”

Chris grinded his jaw, visibly frustrated. “You know I can’t just not do that, Y/n.”

“But why not, Chris?”

“Because you almost died!” His voice was angry now. No, not angry. Hurt. Scared. I could see tears threatening to spill from his eyes. “I-I just can’t let that happen again. I’ll never forgive myself for letting it happen in the first place.”

“Chris…” My heart broke. How could he ever think that was his fault? “You didn’t let anything happen. I was the one who snuck out and didn’t tell anyone. I was a stupid kid and I learned a hard lesson. None of it was ever your fault.”

“But-”

“No buts!” I interrupted him. “It wasn’t your fault. Period. And I owe you my life for saving me that night. But you don’t need to waste yours looking after me. It was seven years ago. We’re adults now. We deserve to be happy and have fun, yeah?”

Chris nodded hesitantly. I could tell he didn’t want to but I hated the idea of him spending all his time focused on my safety and missing out on experiences that could make him truly happy. 

“Good. Let’s go get some grub.” I say, offering him a soft smile. He attempts to smile back but the sadness remains in his eyes.

Chris followed me upstairs to the kitchen. “Morning boys!” I greet Matt and Nick.

“How the hell are you so chipper?” Matt asks. “You were absolutely faced last night!”

“She got it all out of her system in our front yard.” Nick chimed in, giving me a fake smile. 

“Yeah…sorry about that…” I say, scratching my head. 

“Your dress is good as new too, Princess.” Matt adds, motioning to your gold dress hanging from the door to the laundry.

I cringed at the Princess. But decided to ignore it.

“You guys are the bestttt!” I whine, giving them both timid hugs in hopes they’ll forgive me.

“Yeah, yeah. We know.” Nick says, hugging me back. “Here, eat up. We’re going to another party tonight.”

I sit down and nibble on some of the bacon Nick had made. 

Chris sat down beside me, quieter than usual but his brothers don’t seem to notice as they go about their morning banter. 

The knock on the door surprised us all. The four of us rarely got up before noon. Why we were today is beyond me but our friends wouldn’t have shown up at this hour either. 

We all looked at eachother with confusion before Nick went downstairs to open the door. I heard a brief back and forth but couldn’t make out exactly what was being said. Nick made his way back up the stairs and two cops followed him. My stomach dropped. 

I stood up out of my seat, instinctively putting myself in front of Chris. “Christopher Sturniolo?” The larger officer said. 

“Yeah?” Chris asked, stepping out from behind me. Nick, Matt and I all held our breath.

“You’re under arrest for the assault and battery of a Mr. Cameron Jacobs.”

“What?!”  My voice came out as a squeak. “Assault and battery?! It wasn’t Chris! You’re mistaken.”

“Christopher Sturniolo. The Youtuber? We’re well aware of who he is.” The cop said. Chris stepped forward and the second cop pulled out his handcuffs. I couldn’t believe Chris was just submitting to this. “There have been videos uploaded among various social media platforms of the assault.”

I was at a loss for words. Chris and I had been in trouble before but never charged with something like this.

“Well, we can just bail him out right?” Matt asked.

“Bond won’t be set until Monday morning after he sees the judge. Until then, he will remain in custody.”

I watched as Chris put his hands behind his back. Still in his wife beater and pajama pants he wore to bed. He bit his lip and looked at me with remorseful eyes but remained quiet. I could feel tears welling up in my own eyes. I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his neck tightly. “I’m so sorry.”

“Shhh,” He hummed into my neck, unable to hug me back. “I love you.” He mumbled before the piece of shit cop pulled him away from me. 

The other cop handed Nick his card and I watched as they manhandled Chris down the stairs and out the door. It was like the world was moving in slow motion. My best friend was just ripped away from me in a matter of minutes and I felt so lost, like a part of me was missing.

I palmed my face, wiping the tears away from my eyes before I fished for my phone in my pocket. I opened Instagram and searched Chris Sturniolo. The video from last night was all that came up. I clicked on the first one and watched it. I saw myself leaning on Madi’s shoulder in the background, unaware of the events taking place. I saw Chris snapping and wailing on the dude I almost went home with. 

A sob escaped my lips. I was so grateful to Chris for getting me out of that situation but it landed him in jail. If I wasn’t such a mess he wouldn’t fucking be there…

“Okay, so I have some money saved up. I think first thing Monday morning we should-”

“Y/n enough!” Matt yelled. I stopped talking and looked at him with confusion.

“What do you mean? We have to get him out…”

“Yeah! We-” He said, motioning to himself and Nick. “do need to get him out. We need to call our parents. We need to figure out a plan.”

“Matt…” Nick started.

“No! I’m sick of all the shit she drags Chris into!” Matt said before taking a few steps towards me. “All you do is cause him problems. Put him in situations he doesn’t want to be in because he feels like he has to take care of you. You’re the reason Chris did drugs. You’re the reason Chris snuck out. You’re the reason Chris fucked up! He would be so much better off without you! And now look what you’ve done?! He’s in fucking jail cuz you wanted to be a slut!”

I slapped Matt hard across the face. I didn’t mean to. It was just a reaction. He took a deep breath, as did I. He turned to look at me, his blue eyes staring daggers into mine. “Get out.” He said. 

I bit back tears and turned on my heel, running down the steps and out the front door to my car. As soon as I was locked inside my car a screamed at the top of my lungs. Letting every single emotion out. I thought they were my friends. I grew up with them. They were like brothers to me. If Matt and Nick felt this way then Chris probably did too. I’ve overstayed my welcome in their lives…

I started my car and sped off down the street. I drove the ten minutes to my apartment complex. It was nowhere near as nice as the Triplets but it worked for me. 

I made my way up the stairs, ready to drown myself in a bottle of vodka and rot on my couch but I ran into Danny on my way up.

“Princessss,” He dragged on. “What’s got you so upset?”

That fucking nickname made my blood boil.

“Fuck off, Danny.” I said, walking past him. 

“The Sturniolo kid again?” He chuckled, taking a long drag of his cigarette. I swallowed. Just thinking of Chris made me sick. “Ya know those pretty boys will always break your heart, honey.” 

“You’re a loser, Danny.” I said before heading up the steps once again. 

“I have some product! If you’re interested!” 

I paused again. I swore to Chris I’d never use hard shit again. But did Chris really care? With the way his brothers treated me today, it couldn’t have come from nowhere. I grew up with them and rarely had an issue. But if his brothers hated me that much then maybe Chris did too…

-

It doesn’t take a whole army to convince an addict to go back. The war you fight is in your mind and when you have no soldiers on your side, joining the enemy may be the best choice.

So here I sit, with a needle full of heroin pumped into my bloodstream, feeling the best I’ve felt in years. 

Chris who?

Tags: @strniohoeee @daisysturniolo. @justangelheree @flowerxbunnie @recklesssturniolo @lustfulslxt @mangosrar @bluesturniolo333 @christinarowie332 @kenzieiskoolaid @sturniolopepsi @mattenthusiast @ilovecrazymen @sturnphilia @poopydroopt