#“i'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition” will never NOT get me

[sapp0w0]

There'll be more to come of this silly AU. For now take this

[intergalactic-garbage]

bruh ive never seen spn but every so often i get castiel's "i'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition" stuck in my head and i had no idea why? anyway i just realized it's because it's in an iambic meter (I'M the ONE who GRIPPED you TIGHT and RAISED you FROM perDItion). my mfs wrote literal poetry . did they know???

[drfrankensteinvsthequeerborgs]

I assume someone’s done this before?

[icaruspendragon]

remember in 1x12 (faith) when dean has the conversation with the faith healer and he says, "why? why me? out of all the sick people, why save me?" and the healer answers, "well, like i said before, the lord guides me. i looked into your heart and you just... stood out from all the rest." and dean asks, "what did you see in my heart?" and the faith healer answers, "a young man with an important purpose- a job to do. and it isn't finished."

and then remember when in 2x13 (houses of the holy) when sam asks dean, "why can't you even consider the possibility?" and dean says "what, that this is an angel?" and sam says "yes. maybe we're hunting an angel here, and we should stop. maybe this is god's will." and then dean says "okay. all right. you know what? i get it. you've got faith. that's -- hey, that's good for you. i'm sure it makes things easier. i'll tell you who else had faith like that -- mom. she used to tell me when she tucked me in that angels were watching over us. in fact, that was the last thing she ever said to me." and sam says, "you never told me that." and dean responds, "what's to tell? she was wrong. there was nothing protecting her. there's no higher power. there's no god. there's just chaos and violence. and random, unpredictable evil that comes out of nowhere and rips you to shreds. so you want me to believe in this stuff? i'm gonna need to see some hard proof. you got any?"

and then remember in 4x01 (lazarus rising) when dean meets castiel and asks "who are you?" and castiel says, "i'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition." and then again dean asks, "who are you?" and castiel responds, "castiel." and dean says, "yeah i figured that much, i mean what are you?" and cas says, "i'm an angel of the lord." and dean says, "get the hell out of here. there's no such thing." and cas shows him the fearsome wrath of heaven and later dean says, "look pal i'm not buying what you're selling, so who are you really?" and cas says, "i told you." and dean says, "right. and why would an angel, rescue me from hell?" and cas tells him, "good things do happen, dean." and dean says, "not in my experience." and cas asks him, "what's the matter?" and then tells him, "you don't think you deserve to be saved." and dean asks, "why'd you do it?" and cas tells him "because god commanded it. because we have work for you."

and then remember when in 4x16 (on the head of a pin) when cas is talking to dean in the hospital and dean asks, "is it true? did i start all of this?" and cas has to say, "yes. when we discovered lilith's plan for you... we laid siege to hell, and we fought our way to get to you before you --" and dean cuts in to say "jump-started the apocalypse." and cas' gaze turns skyward as he says, "but we were too late." and dean asks, "why didn't you just leave me there, then?" and cas, with eyes still upward says, "it's not... blame that falls on you, dean. it's fate." and cas turns his gaze downward once more as he says, "and the righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it." and then he turns to dean, looking at him for the first time, and says, "you have to stop it." and dean asks, "lucifer? the apocalypse? what does that mean?" and cas looks away from him and says nothing so dean says, "hey. don't you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch. what does that mean?" and cas is staring resolutely forward as he says, "i don't know." and dean exclaims "bull!" and cas once more says, "i don't." before looking at dean again and saying, "dean, they don't tell me much. i know... how our fate rests with you." and then dean, with tears in his eyes says, "well, then you guys are screwed." and then he says, "i can't do it, cas. it's too big." and then he says, "alastair was right. i'm not all here. i'm not -- i'm not strong enough." and then cas looks back and dean and dean looks away from cas for the first time since the conversation started and says, "well, i guess i'm not the man either of our dads wanted me to be." and cas looks away and dean says "find someone else. it's not me." and the tears dean has been trying so hard to hold back finally fall.

anyway. i just thought all of that was kinda interesting.

[sarahlizziewrites]

Wanted to find out what Tumblr thinks are the most important ingredients for a satisfying fictional relationship. Think about your favourite ship, your own OCs, books or movies you've experienced lately. What drives you crazy about them?

P.s. I'm well aware that most fictional relationships have multiple or all of these, but you have to pick the most important one mwahahahah

If you think I've missed something put it in the tags, but first check what I mean by each of the terms below.

Spread it far and wide for sample size!

Definitions/interpretations below cut:

Chemistry: These people get on so well it'd be a crime if they didn't hook up. They are basically already fucking with their words. Think Mulder/Scully

Attraction: these characters are unreasonably hot for each other, to the point where they ignore all sense

Narrative symmetry: covers everything from being narrative foils, contrasting archetypes (e.g. grumpy/sunshine) - think Ineffable Husbands (deep down spark of goodness/"just enough of a bastard to be worth liking") (ps yes this one is Mulder/Scully too)

Obsession/devotion: enemies-to-lovers, friends-to-lovers, I'd-go-the-ends-of-the-earth-for-you, I'd-die-for-you. Think Orpheus/Eurydice from Greek myth, or Wuthering Heights

Tragedy: the love story is beautiful because you know it has to end. The world will be cruel to you but you fell in love anyway. This one is Orpheus/Eurydice in Hadestown. (Also, the potential for this kind of tragedy - the threat of a happy ending ripped away)

Something forbidden: we're not allowed to be together/we have to be together despite the odds/our families would never approve - e.g. First Prince

Fate: star-crossed lovers, soulmates, destined to be together, exes who find they need each other. "I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition"

[oliveoil422]

I wanna see you before I die

DESTIEL FIC

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

‘I wanna see you before I die,’ I thought as I felt more of my life being drained from me but I can't see you because you are dead. I wish I could have just told you I loved you too before the empty took you. I want to yell and scream at you for making that deal. How could you be so dumb Cass. You have always been there for me. I need you now god damn it! Where are you, you winged dick? All i can think about is how i never got to say i love you back i do i really do Cass i wish you could have told me sooner, why didn't you? You never were scared of anything, hell we even fought Lucifer together! Why couldn't you have said something? Why couldn't you have given me the chance?

Remember when things were much more simple when you were an angel of the lord and I was the man you, “Gripped tight and raised from perdition.” I've known lost all my life, I've lost pretty much everyone I ever cared about but you? Thats different you were suppose to be the one i didn't lose, the one i couldn’t lose. And now here we are, you sitting in the empty, probably cold and alone while I'm here on earth fighting for my life which is coming to an end. Sam doesn't know it yet but i can feel it im not going anywhere. This nail is holding me together at this point. I know it's probably impossible but if i make it to heaven i hope it's with you, i hope the memories that i relive is with you i wish we could have made more.

My whole life has been pretty shitty. I mean watching my mom die then my dad spiraled because of it. The one thing I got right was Sammy, I raised that kid while I was still one myself and he turned out pretty good. Jack, if you can hear my thoughts my prayers please keep him safe, keep the one thing i didn't mess up safe, keep my pain in the ass little brother safe.keep him safe because i won't be able to anymore like i have been his whole life. His whole life I took care of him cause without me he had nobody even though John clearly loved him over me he didn't show it often. Who is going to take care of him while i'm gone? I shouldn't have let this happen. I should have watched out for that nail. Why didn't I look out for it? Dad taught me better than that! I shouldn't be in this situation. It's my own damn fault that I am! Now I'm going to leave Sammy all alone because of my carelessness.

Cass, I know our time was short but it meant alot to me, and it clearly meant alot to you as well. If I ever see you again I wont need an explanation about why you left the way you did or why you said the things you did because I get it. I truly get it. I love you too that's what i would tell you if i ever got the chance to see you again i hope one day i will see some version of you, even a fragment of you would be something, Castiel, former angel of the lord, you mean alot to me thank you forever giving me the thought of day. You pieced me together when you left that hand print you made me whole you made me, me. To answer your question from many years ago, no I don't think I deserve to be saved. I think that you deserve everything good in life, i think you deserve to be saved. But Dean Winchester? Hell no. and everyone knew it too no one thought i should be saved most people wished i was still in the pit some days i agree i mess most things up in my life, i even messed whatever we had because i didn't speak on my feelings or even notice i could feel that way until you made it known to me that i could feel that way that you felt that way.

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

author note:if anyone likes this I will write more!

[redlenai]

I fucking hate Supernatural 'cause

I look at these scenes and then

"I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition"

And knowing that in SHOCK's MV the grim reaper and angel represent Rei and Kazuki

I'll never escape, huh?

[rius-cave]

I'm so sorry but I saw the supernatural ask and I felt compelled to explain the Lucifer situation. Ignore if you don't care lmao

The base premise is that Dean and Sam are two brothers who hunt the monsters that go bomp in the night because their mom was killed by a demon when they were children and their dad (John) decided to make it his life's mission to avenge her, going as far as to basically make child soldiers out of his kids. Dad disappears so they start looking for the demon with yellow eyes (iirc Azazel) because they think he's the one at fault.

During the various seasons both brothers keep dying, but the other never accepts it and every time they find a way to resurrect each other. During all this Dena has got a reoccurring "sure, demons exist. But they're not like the biblical kind. It's not like God is real. It's not like angels exist" while Sam still believes that something good MUST be out there so he thinks angels exist.

Sam develops demon powers. Long story. It's like, very thematic in the context of the show. The yellow eyed demon fed him blood as a baby, now he has like. Telekinesis.

Dean dies as a result of a shitton of things, spends 40 years in Hell (about 4 Earth months) until Castiel the angel "gripped him tight and raised him from perdition" (actual quote. This was season 4. They spent the rest of the 11 seasons denying he's in love with Dean).

Surprise! Angels are real!

Less of a surprise! They're jackasses! Also God is an absentee father!

Blah blah blah parallel between Cas' faith in God (his dad) for whom he's a soldier, and Dean who only sees himself as a weapon blah blah blah

War!!! The angels explain that the Winchesters were basically manufactured. The whole show has a theme about free will and predestination and defying faith. So here they discover that the angels manipulated events, like their parents getting together, their grandfather dying, their mom dying, etc. To ensure the brothers existed.

Why? Because Armageddon is near and Lucifer and Micheal are destined to fight against each other. However they need human vessels to do so. Both angels and demons do (Case is inside the body of a guy called Jimmy Novak. He dies at one point but Case keeps using his corpse. He had a daughter and wife). And apparently the Winchesters are the perfect ones.

And that's where they come to play! Dean cannot escape the destiny of only being useful as a weapon, cause that's what he is for Micheal. And remember the demon powers shit Sam went through? Also connected to this!

The one caveat is that Micheal needs permission to inhabit Dean's body, while Sam gets possessed by Lucifer. So Dean keeps denying it and postponing the battle trying to free his brother. Sam comes out of this hallucinating Lucifer for a while.

Their half brother also gets possessed by Lucifer at one point. He was also a rock star and I think the president? At one point? Iirc.

So no Sam doesn't really BECOME Lucifer. Still. Show's wack. Cain is kind of still alive in the show lmao. I only watched up to season 13. That's when they lost me.

It's so hard to crossover Hazbin Hotel with other Bible inspired stories because of the wild differences in Lucifer's personalities and stories. There's no way to reconcile whatever is going on with Supernatural Lucifer and Hazbin Lucifer.

I think Good Omens is the only one where I could kinda see it? But then there's Beelzebub that kinda fucks it up, and also Crowley having been the one to give Eve the fruit.

Sorry for the off topic ramble!

-🐇

[cookie1218]

All these years, and im still not over the sentence:

"I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition".

Still one of the most powerful presentation of a character i've ever seen. "Lazarus rising" is brilliant, the storytelling, the visuals, the colours, the parallels. Dean was what reeled me first into watching spn, thanks to the amazing acting of Jensen Ackles. But Castiel was what kept me watching, Misha Collins blew my mind. The chemistry between them reminded me about Jim and Spock, as truly heirs of the Premise (thus born Destiel).

The developmental arc of Castiel, his relantionship with Dean, the struggle to achieve free will, to see beyond the stereotiped path and follow what he thinks is the right thing, into doing what he thinks is just. It opened my eyes to thruths about myself i've never seen before.

I truly love them. Happy Destiel day.

[kerryweaverlesbian]

You're not crazy. We need you. I need you. I'd rather have you cursed or not. I'll go with you. Never change. We lost everything and now you have to bring him back. Castiel? I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition. I'm not here to 'perch' on your shoulder, Dean. I love you. I love all of you. You think he's going to return to you. Too much heart was always Castiel's problem. The first time he laid a hand on you in Hell he was lost! You changed me Dean. Why does this sound like a goodbye. Because it is. I love you, Dean.

(My spoken word AMV)

[softpine]

Finnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! Both of our boys have been in hell. Im crying there's a scene in the crave book series where a character tries to essentially bring another character out of their own hell scenario like Asa and Finn and I just think scenes like that are so sad but sweet!

asa's on some i'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition shit jfksjdsj

i've never heard of that book series but i'm suuuuch a sucker for characters who get trapped inside their own minds / hell / another world and have to be rescued from themselves (bonus points if it's someone who sees them for exactly who they are and loves them anyway.......) so i might have to check that out lmao

[impossiblyfreshdonut]

A collection from memory.

“i’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.” - Castiel, s4 ep1

__________________________________

“you don’t think you deserve to be saved.” - Castiel, s4 ep1

__________________________________

“dean and i do share a more profound bond… i wasn’t going to mention it.” - Castiel, s6 ep3

__________________________________

“Castiel? Oh he's, he's not here. You see he has this weakness, he likes you.” - Uriel, s4 ep10

__________________________________

“I was getting too close to humans in my charge. You.” - Castiel, s4 ep16

__________________________________

“I'm hunted, I rebelled, and I did all of it for you” - Castiel, s5 ep1

__________________________________

“So what, I'm Thelma, you're Louise and we're just gonna hold hands and sail off this cliff together?” - Dean, s5 ep3

__________________________________

“Dean, I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call, and I am your friend.” - Castiel, s6 ep21

__________________________________

“A part of me always believed you'll come back.” - Dean, s7 ep17

__________________________________

“When Castiel first laid a hand on you in hell he was lost!” - Naomi, s7 ep21

__________________________________

“We're family. We need you... I need you.” - Dean, s8 ep17

__________________________________

“Dean, you know I always appreciate our talks, our time together.” - Castiel, s9 ep3

__________________________________

“Maybe you could fight the mark for years. Maybe centuries, like Cain did. But you can't fight it forever. And when you turn, and you will turn, Sam, and everyone you know, everyone you love, they could be long dead. Everyone except me. I'm the only one who will have to watch you murder the world. So if there's even a small chance that we can save you, I won't let you out of this room.” - Castiel, s10 ep 22

__________________________________

“Well, I said I needed a big win. We got Cas back. That's a pretty damn big win.” - Dean, s13 ep6

__________________________________

“Cas! No, no, no. Cas? Cas, I hope you can hear me... that wherever you are, it's not too late. I should've stopped you. You're my best friend, but I just let you go. 'Cause it was easier than admitting I was wrong. I -- Ohh. I don't know why I get so angry. I just know -- I know that it's -- i-it's just always been there. And when things go bad, it just -- it comes out. And I can't -- I can't stop it. No matter how -- how bad I want to, I just can't stop it. And -- And I -- I forgive you. Of course I forgive you. I'm sorry it took me so long -- I'm sorry it took me till now to say it. Cas, I'm -- I'm so sorry. Man, I hope you can hear me. I hope you can hear me. Okay.” - Dean, s15 ep9

__________________________________

Castiel – “I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be? What my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer because the one thing I want... It's something I know I can't have. But I think I know... I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being. It's in just saying it.”

Dean – “What are you talking about, man?”

Castiel – “I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken. You're “daddy's blunt instrument.” And you think that hate and anger, that's... That's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell... Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack... I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean.”

Dean – “Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

Castiel – “Because it is. I love you.”

Dean – “Don't do this Cas.”

Castiel – “Goodbye, Dean.”

— s15, ep18.

[incarnateirony]

So is all of the main characters on tw a part of dean? Like is it like dean is telling his story of who he is trough them?I feel like i have seen so far a dean ”like ness’ in all of them. I Know like john and mary is given we are going to a see likeness being them his parents and all but .. i dont Know,im ramblin and dont Know if im very far off ? Also are john and mary not ’his’ john and mary? Or have i missunderstud That ?

No. They were real.

People, families, they're still real, but Dean's trapped in the source of his own infinite power, like Loki.

But what is Humanity's infinite power?

Basically he made his own trap, and that's The Queen As Is, if you will, but it rips and digs deeper than that. I guess you could call it a deep cut.

Cas noticed their aliases are usually the names of popular musicians. I'm just a worker bee.

It's not Cas himself, but this monster made from humanity's own fight to face itself and accept its life made a beast all its own. But that beast was always with humanity, in our trauma, compelling us to act out, to read things darkly, to take action against those only hoping to do well, because we haven't dug the own thorns out of our trauma.

And in Dean's case? Well, it's not the room he died in, like John. Just read the conversation par for par. What happens. Who was John standing as in that moment, where he died for his clan, a Future he had seen into and known must come to pass? The Future. Call it fate, but it was still choice.

Dean has to face that monster, that fear, that Trap. He created a monster running from the truth. That truth was his life. He wanted to change things. He wanted to go back and fuck with things, maybe to make his parents life better, maybe to even help his friends in distant futures. And it instead erased important elements of his life (Sam included.)

Because our lives are our choices. like, who we are. And dean still has choices even in his final breath, even if he's Still In The Barn. The Akrida hides undergruond, like your deepest memory. Or fear. Think back to the first promo and the cas radio tv glitch.

I'm the one who gripped you tight from this box clawing in the dark and raised you from perdition. And I'm the one who died. And who you never got to say it back to, after our fight.

But Dean had a lot to face before even finding his queen.

This bounces back to cosmogenics I've spoken of, like what Cas performed in unbirthing the shadow in the empty, which is its own topic to unpack but think heaven's womb like rowena as hell's. Can't leave but they define it. But what is heaven but the soul? And what is humanity but the soul? And what is identity but ego and choosing the self?

Dean accidentally fucked it up but it was always fucked up and that's fine. He gotta choose and face who he is, what his monsters are, and what his fears, and losses, and unspoken things are.

That's literally the plot fam.

[points back at the chart]

PLATO.

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

All Lights Turned Off Can Be Turned On

All Lights Turned Off Can Be Turned On https://ift.tt/tASCW2Q by redneckangelsdrinkmoonshine One year and six months have passed since Sam, Dean and Jack defeated Chuck. Jack is the new God, the bunker is full of the new generation of hunters who are excited to learn from the best in the business, and Sam and Dean rarely work any cases these days. Everything is fine, but something's missing. Someone is missing. Dean still grieves the loss of everything he never got to have and Sam misses his best friend. The brothers have tried everything to bring Castiel back, but with Jack MIA all of their attempts were unsuccessful. Until Sam figures out a way to get into the Empty. Dean has prepared an entire speech, full of parallels such as "Good things do happen, Cas.", "I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition!" and most importantly "I love you." However, once in the Empty, Sam and Dean find out that Castiel escaped a long time ago. But where the hell is he? Words: 4363, Chapters: 1/20, Language: English Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy, Jody Mills, Donna Hanscum, Claire Novak, Kaia Nieves, Alex Jones (Supernatural), Patience Turner, Meg | Demon Possessing Meg Masters, Gabriel (Supernatural), Crowley (Supernatural), Rowena MacLeod, Garth Fitzgerald IV, Jack Kline, The Empty | The Shadow (Supernatural), Miracle the Dog (Supernatural), Original Supernatural (TV) Character(s) Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Donna Hanscum/Jody Mills, Kaia Nieves/Claire Novak, Castiel & Jack Kline & Claire Novak, Eileen Leahy & Dean Winchester, Rowena MacLeod & Sam Winchester, Gabriel/Rowena MacLeod, Crowley & Rowena MacLeod, Crowley & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel & Gabriel (Supernatural), Castiel/Meg | Demon Possessing Meg Masters, Dean Winchester/Original Female Character(s), Castiel & Meg | Demon Possessing Meg Masters, Gabriel & Meg | Demon Possessing Meg Masters Additional Tags: Castiel in the Empty (Supernatural), Human Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Grieves Castiel, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Everyone Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Has a Bisexual Awakening, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Supportive Sam Winchester, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-Typical Behavior, Post-Canon Fix-It, Castiel and Dean Winchester Falling in Love, Castiel and Dean Winchester Being Idiots, Dean Winchester Confesses Feelings for Castiel, Dean Winchester Teaches Castiel to be Human, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Gay Sex, Meg Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Friends with Benefits Castiel/Meg (Supernatural), Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Case Fic, Supernatural Hunters via AO3 works tagged 'Castiel/Dean Winchester' https://ift.tt/lDqhRvY April 01, 2024 at 07:41PM

[lesbiandeancas]

fave spn season opener is season 4 obviously lazarus rising. I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition and you don't think you deserve to be saved and all that.

second fave is season 15... messy divorce happening before the burnt out eyes of their son who is possessed by a demon who's horny for dean. that needle drop st the beginning. god was never on your side.

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

So I was thinking about this scene:

I've always talked about it from Dean's perspective (and sometimes from the Destiel perspective) but never from Cas'. I think the GA (and antis who claim this is a fanservice scene and nothing more) underestimate just how powerful this scene was for Cas' own story. The ILY aside, I think it's important to note just how full circle the angel's storyline came and how impactful that decision to include the bloody handprint really was.

When Cas first enters the story of SPN that we see (physically I mean), this scene happens:

Cas: "I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition."

Dean: "And why would an angel rescue me from Hell?"

Cas: "Good things do happen, Dean."

Dean: "Not in my experience."

Cas: "What's the matter? You don't think you deserve to be saved."

Dean: "Why'd you do it?"

Cas: "Because God commanded it."

When Cas first rescues Dean from Hell, he has been commanded to do it. He's following orders. They have "work" for Dean to do aka an ulterior motive. And as we see here, Dean as always, believes he doesn't deserve to be saved (which we find out why in this particular instance later) and that good things don't just happen which momentarily confuses Castiel.

Dean: "Is it true? Did I break the first seal? Did I start all this?"

Cas: "Yes. When we discovered Lilith's plan for you, we laid siege to Hell. And we fought our way to get to you. Before you--"

Dean: "Jump started the apocalypse."

Cas: "We were too late."

Dean: "Why didn't you just leave me there then?"

Cas: "It's not blame that falls on you, Dean. It's fate. The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it. You have to stop it."

Dean: "Lucifer, the apocalypse, what does that mean? Hey! Don't you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch. What does that mean?"

Cas: "I don't know."

Dean: "Bull!"

Cas: "I don't. Dean, they don't tell me much. I know our fate rests with you."

Dean: "Then you guys are screwed. I can't do it, Cas. It's too big. Alistair was right. I'm not all here. I'm not--I'm not strong enough. I guess I'm not the man either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It's not me."

In this scene, it's after Alistair got out of the Devil's trap and attacked Dean, after telling Dean that he started the apocalypse by breaking the first seal. Cas reveals that the reason they went into Hell to rescue him was to prevent the first seal from being broken which would knock over apocalyptic dominoes. But they were too late. And Dean makes a good point: why didn't they just leave him there then? Considering what we know about how angels sometimes operate in this story, it would make sense if they chose to do something like that but Cas rescues Dean anyway. Which we know Cas was the one not only because he says it but also because when Dean is resurrected, we see this:

Which is further verified by what happens to Pamela when she touches it. She's able to communicate with Castiel directly (a la Amara with Casifer being able to connect to Dean but I won't digress) and we know her eyes burn when she attempts to spy on his true visage.

Now if we go back to the 15x18 scene above, we get:

Dean, Sam, Cas, and Jack are currently locked in a battle with Chuck and reclaiming their free will after they discover he's been the bad guy all along -> "Lucifer, the apocalypse" from 4x16

Dean and Cas are currently being chased down by Billie aka Death who is intent on killing Dean once and for all so he can go back to where she believes he belongs (and she had a plan in place to take care of Chuck and how Dean would play a part in it besides Jack and Sam) -> aka "Lilith's plan" & Alistair and Co getting Dean to break the first seal from 4x16

Cas is helping Dean to get away, rescuing him from what would have been a gruesome death -> Cas rescues Dean from Hell from 4x01 & 4x16

Dean feeling defeated when he and Cas are locked in the room (that has a Devil's trap in it btw) that Billie is trying to get into -> Dean telling Cas that they shouldn't rely on him to stop the Apocalypse & it's too big for him because he is suffering from guilt and self-doubt from 4x16

Dean: "Everybody's gonna die, Cas. Everybody. I can't stop it. She's gonna get through that door."

Cas: "I know."

Dean: "And she's gonna kill you. And then she's gonna kill me. I'm sorry."

If you take this dialogue and these two performances in this moment and compare it to the 4x16 hospital scene, you have a very similar event or theme happening here. The only differences are Cas' reaction (we see he is more greatly affected this time around which is due to their familiarity with one another and the development of their characters and relationship as well as the show evolving, season 4 was still considered to be the "horror show"), Dean while still hopeless is accepting of the inevitable & is not shutting Cas out. Instead he moves closer rather than looks away like he does in 4x16, letting out the one tear. Not that he wasn't vulnerable with Cas in 4x16, but the whole performance from Jensen while being different in its own ways is also quite similar to that scene.

While Cas saved Dean from Billie in the moment & warded the door to keep them alive that much longer (with his own blood but more on that in a moment), he comes up with a plan to stop Billie entirely that will save Dean but also cause his own death. Thus, he is going to rescue Dean while laying down his own life.

Cas: "When Jack was dying, I made a deal to save him."

Dean: "You what?"

Cas: "The price was my life. When I experienced a moment of true happiness, The Empty would be summoned and it would take me forever."

Dean: "Why are you telling me this now?"

Cas: "I always wondered when I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be, what my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer because the one thing I want, it's something I know I can't have. But I think I know...I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being. It's in just saying it."

Dean: "What are you talking about, man?"

Cas: "I know...I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive and you're angry and you're broken, your'e Daddy's blunt instrument. And you think that hate and anger, that's...that's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, but I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean."

Dean: "Why does this sound like a goodbye?"

Cas: "Because it is. I love you."

Dean: "Don't do this, Cas. Cas..."

Cas: "Goodbye, Dean."

Dean: "What?"

So not only does Cas address Dean's anger which has been a series-long issue that really was brought to the forefront the most it's ever been in season 15 (meaning the anger is fueling Dean's desperation which is now part of the main theme of the season), but he also saves him from his own personal Hell. While also setting Dean up to do what he does in the next episode when it comes to facing down Chuck and the decision he makes (along with Sam) not to kill him and give him what he wanted. What Alistair, Lilith, and Hell always thought he was. What their enemies (like Chuck) always thought about Dean. What he himself thought.

And the bloody handprint happens in the moment The Empty enters the room on one side and Billie breaks through the door on the other side (when the wards Cas put up in his own blood to protect Dean from Billie don't hold up anymore; yes, Cas used his own blood to protect Dean, the significance of that is just so...I don't even know how to put it into words):

Cas throws him against the wall, out of the way, so he can be physically safe from both supernatural forces. So he not only saves his soul so to speak, he also saves his life.

And what's important about this scene and the way it went down/was written is that while yes, it parallels how Cas rescued Dean from Hell, it also brings his story full circle in a very beautiful way (not just his relationship or profound bond with Dean). Cas chose to do this. He chose to speak those three little words to summon The Empty, ensuring his own death, but also confessing to Dean how he really feels with no expectations. All to save Dean.

So he did what he had entered the story to do in the beginning, but this time, Cas exercised his own free will to save the man he loved while also setting up said man to not only defeat Chuck but also to save the world. Something that Dean himself chooses to do while exercising his own free will (which is another reason why 15x20 makes no sense).

So that bloody handprint, whoever came up with it on the day or if it was in the script (I can't remember which), that was a moment of pure genius because physically it helps pull this whole scene and Cas' story together even more. Cas is commanded to save Dean from Hell, leaves a burned-in handprint on his shoulder. Cas chooses to save Dean from Death (and himself), leaves his own bloody handprint on his shoulder.

As much as I hated Cas dying for the longest time and I didn't understand why Misha was so happy with that ending for his character (despite the parallels), I now get it. Cas' story had come full circle. He exercised the free will that he had not only earned but was given when he changed thanks to knowing Dean, way before Jack entered the picture. That's development, folks. And it was exemplified in the most beautiful way possible. He got to choose when to summon The Empty and why. He got to choose to save Dean one more time but this time of his own volition (though I would argue he may have chosen to save Dean's soul pre-4x01 despite the latter having started the apocalypse). But this scene from beginning to end is HIS choice. The circumstances and time pressure may be present but he could have tried to find another way to get them out of there or he could have lived (because I don't see how Billie could have killed him, he's an angel and The Empty purposely wanted him to be happy and then collect him so even if Billie got all stabby stabby, The Empty would have probably sent him back because it wouldn't be satisfied), but no. He made the choice to utilize this deal that Dean knew nothing about in order to save Dean once again.

And sure enough, in 15x19 we see:

Chuck is defeated. Dean had his free will all along (as did Sam). Jack is now the new God, which also brings another portion of Cas' story full circle and he helped to bring about. While Dean obviously misses Cas, he is able to stand on his own and make this decision himself without Heaven or Hell whispering into his ear or trying to affect the outcome. This is Dean Winchester exercising his free will (that he never really lost like he feared which is also important for the whole John/Chuck convo that we'll save for another time).

So for those who say Castiel wasn't an important character in the series or in relation to Dean (or Sam or Jack) or that the 15x18 scene was fanservice or pandering, you are incredibly wrong. Castiel proved to be instrumental in not only Dean's story line (as well as the other two) but also to the ending of the mythology altogether as well as the end of the series. The end of 15x19 looks like the exact way it's supposed to (minus them planning to break Cas out of The Empty & calling up Eileen & Jack still hanging with his fam = Winchesters 2.0 getting a better and more sensical ending that they had earned, especially in relation to Winchesters 1.0). The way Cas exited the story mirrored the way he entered, with a few slight differences. And like I said above, that's called development and it was illustrated in the most beautiful way possible while also giving one of the original members of Team Free Will the earned right to exercise theirs.