#“i wonder if i can use my ability to get into the hospital through harry to see the bodega bandit”
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gwensy · 3 months ago
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ok this is bad and a mess because i dont have cohesive thoughts on All Of That so im not making it A Post im just putting all my images together
ok time to make an e65 gwenharry collage im gonna throw up
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fanfic-lover-girl · 10 months ago
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Double Standards: Malfoys vs Weasleys Edition
I'm on a roll, baby! TWO double standards today! All from book 4!
Nepotism/Favoritism
Moody’s magical eye spun around to stare at Ron; Ron looked extremely apprehensive, but after a moment Moody smiled – the first time Harry had seen him do so. ‘You’ll be Arthur Weasley’s son, eh?’ Moody said. ‘Your father got me out of a very tight corner a few days ago …”
. . . my husband, Arthur, has just managed to get prime tickets through his connections at the Department of Magical Games and Sports.
Fudge, who wasn’t listening, said, “Lucius has just given a very generous contribution to St Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, Arthur. He’s here as my guest.”
Bonus from Book 5
Harry distinctly heard the gentle clinking of what sounded like a full pocket of gold. ‘Really, just because you are Dumbledore’s favourite boy, you must not expect the same indulgence from the rest of us … shall we go up to your office, then, Minister?’
What I find most notable here is the difference in nature between the scenarios. The Malfoys' nepotism is more quid pro quo. Charity donations and political bribery. Whereas Authur Weasley seems to have used his position to help people like the Bagmans skirt the law. A government official helps another official's relative with a sketchy situation and in return, he gets expensive, premier seats?! Sounds a bit corrupt to me.
But hardly anyone in HP fandom has an issue with nepotism when the Weasleys do it. Nope, it's only bad when the rich Malfoys do it, duh!
Discrimination
Mum’s writing to the Muggles to ask you to stay. We’re coming for you whether the Muggles like it or not, you can’t miss the World Cup, only Mum and Dad reckon it’s better if we pretend to ask their permission first. Ron, it’s all OK, the Muggles say I can come.
Mr Malfoy’s eyes had returned to Hermione, who went slightly pink, but stared determinedly back at him. Harry knew exactly what was making Mr Malfoy’s lip curl. The Malfoys prided themselves on being pure-bloods; in other words, they considered anyone of Muggle descent, like Hermione, second-class.
Bonus: Weasley hypocrisy
“That’s sick,” Ron muttered, watching the smallest Muggle child, who had begun to spin like a top, sixty feet above the ground, his head flopping limply from side to side. “That is really sick…”
What I found very fascinating is how the discrimination is presented. The Weasleys' disgusting prejudice towards muggles is very casual. It's treated as normal and acceptable: for heaven's sake, Harry (our wonderful hero) even participates in dehumanizing his relatives. I bet most HP readers don't even bat an eye - JKR has trained the reader to accept muggle dehumanization. Yet, what I find strange is that Harry has to literally spell out the Malfoy's distaste for Hermione. Why is JKR wasting her time with this? By book 4, we already know how the Malfoys feel about Hermione. I think it's another indicator of JKR's crappy writing.
Anyway, after we see the appalling way the Weasleys treat the Durselys and the Grangers, JKR expects her readers to swallow Ron acting as a moral compass when he sees the muggle family being tortured? Please.
People need to remember that we are the muggles. Would you prefer the Malfoys who hate all things muggle and mainly want their world to be separate from muggles and keep to themselves (which Draco said way back in book 1 when he met Harry)?? Or would you prefer the Weasleys who have little respect for muggles and have little qualms about invading your home and bodily autonomy?
As a black woman, I prefer a KKK racist who lives far away from me and who I will probably never see in my lifetime. Compared to a white liberal who causally asks me degrading questions every day like why my English is so good when I am from Jamaica. Or anyone else for that matter who makes me feel insecure about my culture and abilities. All under the guise of being a so-called ally.
Truly, between the Malfoys and Weasleys, who has caused muggles more harm on screen or on paper?? I don't know how many people Lucius hurt as a DE besides the poor Roberts family but given JKR treats muggles as NPCs in her books, I guess those rando people Lucius may have killed don't matter :(. And why were muggles there anyway?! At a wizarding event?! That poor Mr. Roberts being treated worse than a dog by people who are supposed to be pro-muggle leaning.
At that moment, a wizard in plus-fours appeared out of thin air next to Mr Roberts’s front door. “Obliviate!” he said sharply, pointing his wand at Mr Roberts. “Been having a lot of trouble with him. Needs a Memory Charm ten times a day to keep him happy.”
Sigh. Muggles deserved better. Forget Draco calling Hermione a mudblood. Like that slur means anything to Hermione anyway. Or has any meaningful impact. Muggles are the true victims in these books.
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the-firebird69 · 8 months ago
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Underwater Nuclear Bomb Test 1958 - Tsunami Bom 😱😱
This looks like old footage and it looks authentic but our son and daughter say this is probably not an old film and not enough 1958 it's in color and it's Chris and the sound is very nice you can hear the birds and usually they didn't have that greatest sound and it's true and you have nice radiation Shields and you can see clearly through it and it doesn't have a grid people think this from the Godzilla movie and the examined it and it looks the same and Godzilla is going to be up shortly
Thor Freya
I am getting help and he's been saying it get me out of here about his dragon so I'm going to do it and I asked for help and they did come to my age and this is what happens and they're going to chase her around and she's going to beat up a whole bunch of them and she knows what to do too she knows where to go and she leaves them into trouble and it's awesome
I'm going to be fully active pretty soon and yeah there's going to be people coming here and they're going to cost a lot of trouble and some idiots here too
Hera aka Godzilla
Okay so what's your character and he says the same race and yes he's in Disney world Harry Potter universal studios yeah we know where it is you don't need to though. So I need to know basis even though you saw it. That is so bad that you people carry on saying this dumb s*** and he can figure out which one it is you just asked if the gate which one is Harry Potter well I guess he'd have to go to the other Park you know that's in nut cases I mean that probably will get him up there it's so petty and so dumb, then I looked at the math about the car and said it's all massively negative and including the whatever you're going to try and attempting to be him on the way down with a different plate and for Christ's sake
Mac daddy
I'm going to try it anyways and he's getting notified and everything what he says if I don't have any money I probably will sell it cuz I won't have money to insurance quite literally he says it's no joke because when you get it down here if you do he won't have the ability to insure it and I decided something I'd be wasting a trip and he says yeah you'd be wasting your time sort of not really but okay and yeah I'm following something he's wondering how much it's worth you probably get five grand so that's pretty good bring it yeah that's fun so we don't want to drive all the way down if you're going to sell it and he says so what you assholes put me in the hospital and that was one day Rudy a little not much but really we do see it it's horrible and he's saying he doesn't have the ability to insure it and he doesn't really it's like $130 a month and you can't afford that and you can't afford the money he'll go backwards again mac daddy says yeah that's true so yeah he likes doing the stuff that is annoying I really can't blame me for anything if I'm not driving around with it yeah right had no place and it's not registered and it's not showing us registered and there's no witnesses so good luck
And those Ben Arnold and I will say this we're sick of this s*** and you have to get out of there and we going to force you out pretty soon anyways mac daddy says and it's really me talking
But that's how I feel about it because it's too much money I don't have that kind of money to cut out like all my spare money a month is like $100
Zues
It's actually true and he's trying to save and suspend down his credit card and that would put it over the top and he wouldn't be able to if he has to move I can still have to take a plane that way a place would have to be ready
Hera
We get that that's our job and we're going to get to it
Frank Castle hardcastle
This is making us control everywhere and we can do it here and we have to and it looks normal it's good but really he needs to have some way of moving somewhere and we do see what you say and what he's saying is if they bring the car down he's going to sell it cuz he doesn't want to go to his house he's pig and he doesn't want them here he's a pig. Now there's some people you don't want to be near and he's one of them the guy is stupid but hey you know five grand is 5 grand
Duke nukem Blockbuster
Are you going to allow him to sell it too because he doesn't have money for insurance and there's no way to go and they just run them around and he can say all sorts of s*** who cares
Olympus
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mercy-burning · 4 years ago
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Make It Even
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reaer Summary: Part 2 to Out Of Commission (but can be read separately) - After about a month of recovering from an injury, Reader can finally have sex again, and Spencer has an idea. Category: Smut 18+ (female masturbation, use of a vibrator, dirty talk - degradation with mentions of fingering, hair pulling, and rough sex) Warnings: Sex, language, brief mentions of injury (As always, if there’s anything that I missed, please let me know what I should include in warnings! I always want to be as mindful as I can about what I post. Thank you!) Word Count: 3.3k
***EDITED: 7/25/2021***
PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | MASTERLSIT
***
Being seriously hurt by a serial killer was definitely not fun in any capacity, but the whole thing had been a major learning experience.
For one thing, Y/N learned that she hated hospital checkups. Once a week she had to go, to make sure everything was healing properly. Having Spencer there to make sure everything was going smoothly was extra comforting, though it didn't make constant doctor visits any less tedious.
Secondly, she hated menstruation. Which was a natural, obvious disdain that she'd harbored since the ripe age of eleven, but while being severely injured like she'd been recently, it sucked extra. Not only did she have to deal with menstrual pain and having to be careful not to rip or irritate her stitches every time she cleaned up, but she was also extra horny with no outlet for it.
That one week was probably the worst of it. Spencer wanted to stay with her of course, to bring her the extra comfort, but it was less comforting and more torturous unfortunately. She insisted that he stay at his apartment or at least sleep on the couch, because she didn't know how many more cold showers she could take.
Finally, she learned that her ability to marathon movies was probably one of her strongest assets. Not only did she manage to watch every single Lord of the Rings, Twilight, Harry Potter, Star Wars, and Fast and the Furious movie, but she stayed awake and alert through every one. She tried getting Spencer to pay attention to Twilight, but he did fall asleep, though somehow managed to make it through every Fast and the Furious film. She'd make him re-watch them in time, but right now she was just glad that she could get up and move around like a normal person again.
Speaking of, she was currently waiting for her boyfriend to come back from the store. She'd wanted to go with, but he insisted on getting some surprises, so he went alone.
Y/N was cleaning up her kitchen when the door opened and Spencer walked in, struggling to carry more than four large grocery bags.
"Geez, what did you get? I thought we were just making a pizza..." Y/N laughed, running over to help him carry some of the bags. He handed her the lighter ones, still taking caution of her injuries, and she smiled fondly for it.
"I know," he said, slightly out of breath from the walk. "And I got stuff to make pizza, but there were some other things I wanted to get you."
She was about to open one of the bags to help unload everything, but he stopped her. "No! Don't look at anything. Surprises, remember?"
With a sigh and a small laugh, Y/N stepped away from the bags as Spencer set down the ones he was carrying. "Fine. Where do you want me?"
"Bedroom. I'll come in when I'm done." He walked to her and gave her a big, deep kiss before practically pushing her to the bedroom. "Won't take long, promise."
As she heard him unload the bags in the kitchen through the closed door, Y/N wondered what he could possibly have gotten. Knowing Spencer, it could have been about a million different things. Since they'd started dating, he was always so creative and thoughtful with his 'surprises', and each one had been different every time. And since he knew her so well, probably more than she knew herself, she was certain she was going to love it.
That being said, it was taking way longer than she thought it would.
"Hey, you said it wasn't going to take long!" she called out, crossing her legs and swinging them off the bed after closing Twitter from her phone and setting it on the nightstand. "You didn't get lost in there, did you?"
"No!" Spencer called back. "Almost done!"
She smiled to herself, tapping her fingers against her knees and tilting her head to the side in wait.
About a minute passed when she heard him at the door. "Okay, close your eyes!"
She rolled them affectionately before doing so. "They're closed!"
As she heard the door open, she couldn't help the smile that adorned her face, only growing wider when she felt Spencer pepper sweet kisses along her cheeks before she felt him kneel in front of her on the floor. He took her knees and spread them apart, and she raised her eyebrows, eyes still closed. "What are you doing?"
"Getting in position. Open your eyes."
By the amused tone in his voice alone, Y/N thought she had a pretty good idea of what she might find when she regained sight. Sure enough, when she opened her eyes, she looked down and noticed Spencer kneeling on the floor, head tilted upward to look at her, his hands in his lap and his eyes searching hers with the most adoring gleam she'd ever seen.
She laughed, bringing her hands out to run through his hair. When they cradled his cheeks, he smiled, bringing his hands up from his lap and revealing... A vibrator. She'd never seen it before. He must have bought and sanitized it before coming in the room, which would be why it had taken so long.
"You.. You bought me a vibrator?"
"Mhm," he answered with the giddiest tone she'd ever heard from him. "I really appreciated what you did for me while you were... out of commission... a few weeks ago, so I wanted to return the favor. Kind of. I, uh... I have an idea..."
Y/N took the vibrator from him and turned it over in her hands as he explained himself.
"I know we could start having sex again, but I thought this would be a fun way to ease you into it, plus I get to make it even."
She looked down at him, amused with an eyebrow raised and a small smirk forming on her mouth. "You want to watch me fuck myself with a vibrator?"
Spencer nodded, placing his hands on her knees again. "And we don't even have to have sex afterwards if you don't want. I have extra clothes here, and I'm more than prepared to take a cold shower when you're done."
Laughing, she leaned down and kissed his forehead, right before leaning her own against it. "You're sure?"
"Mhm. Only if you want to, I mean, I thought it would be fun..."
Y/N pulled away and ran a hand through his hair, nodding. "It does sound fun. You gonna talk me through it?"
He nodded and leaned up on his knees a little to reach her lips, kissing her just as deeply as he had in the kitchen earlier. She kissed him back fervently, reveling in the feeling of his tongue against hers and the soft hums he let out whenever their lips slightly parted to kiss each other deeper.
Eventually she pushed his shoulders down and moved her head back, looking down at him with her bottom lip tucked between her teeth briefly before speaking. "Will you take my pants off for me, please?" she inquired sweetly, batting her eyelashes.
If she kept up this sweet act, this was going to be way harder for him than anticipated, and they both knew it. Regardless, he was more than happy to reach up and unbutton her jeans, looking up at her adoringly while he shimmied them down over her thighs and eventually her ankles.
The second he went back to his position on the floor, Y/N flipped the vibrator over in her hands. "What would you like me to do, baby?"
"Put your legs up on my shoulders?"
She draped her ankles over his shoulders and pulled him closer with them, a small smile forming as his eyes practically widened, being so close to her, where he hadn't been in so long. "Don't turn the vibrator on yet," he said softly, his eyes flicking up to meet hers. He turned his head a little and pressed a soft kiss to the inside of her calf before he continued. "I want you to touch it to yourself, just lightly over your panties, okay?"
With a nod, Y/N leaned back on one arm and used the other to bring the toy to her clothed pussy, running it softly over herself as instructed. She sighed, biting her lip as she looked down at Spencer, who was mesmerized by her hand movements. She could feel herself getting visibly wetter as he watched, a soft whine escaping her throat before he looked up at her.
"You feeling it already, baby?" he murmured softly, bringing his arms up to wrap around the underside of her legs and resting his hands on the insides of her thighs. As his fingers drifted softly in lazy circles, she mimicked their movements with the vibrator on her clit, longing desperately for more friction.
"Please," she breathed, so lightly that she was unsure he'd even heard her, even as she looked him dead in the eye as she said it.
For a moment she thought about sliding the vibrator under the fabric anyway, taking the chance that he wouldn't do anything to chastise her for it. Thankfully it didn't have to go that far, because Spencer removed himself completely from her and stood up.
"Lay back against the headboard?" he asked more than demanded.
Y/N didn't even have to think, scooting back and into position. As she did so, he climbed on the bed himself and sat across from her, making himself as comfortable as he could be.
Probably because she was excited to start having sex again, but also because it was just fun to see her boyfriend's reactions to her boldness, she smirked a little, looking him straight in the eye as she slipped her panties off and threw them in his direction. They landed on his shoulder, and he didn't move them, his own giddy grin making an appearance. To give him more of a show, she ran her hands slowly up her legs, spreading them wider with each passing second until they were completely open, revealing everything to him.
The second Spencer's eyes glanced down, she started to move, using her middle finger to run through pussy. She continued this for almost a minute, her boyfriend completely focused on what she was doing, speechless, before almost jolting him with her words.
"You gonna help me out, Doc, or are you just gonna stare?"
He looked back up at her face, and she could see him visibly swallow, his enchantment with her completely endearing. Then he replied.
"God, you're beautiful..." The sweetness in his words, just barely laced with desire made her move a little faster, though not by much. He still seemed to notice, though, because he flashed a grin that disappeared as quickly as it came, right before shifting in his place and continuing with his words. "You have no idea how much I've missed seeing your pretty little pussy..."
She sighed, leaning her head back and circling her clit. She loved hearing him talk, about anything, really, but when he was like this? She couldn't get enough.
"So many nights this past month, it's taken so much out of me, resisting the urge to just sneak my hand up your shorts when we were in bed, watching movies together. To feel you squirm under my touch. I thought about how much I wanted to play with your pussy, sort of like you're doing now..."
Her fingers moved a little faster as she recalled a similar dream she'd had one of those nights. She'd been thinking about sex all day and ended up dreaming about just that—Spencer crawling over her and fingering her, bringing her to the edge over and over again until she finally woke up feeling sore. She'd been moving in her sleep, and it wasn't fun. At all.
But now she could move all she wanted. Listening to her boyfriend talk about doing to her exactly what she'd experienced and dreamed about many times before filled her with the most joy she'd felt in the longest month of her life.
So she reached for the vibrator that she'd set beside her, and replaced her fingers with it, opening her eyes to meet him. He watched her intently with his hands clenching the sheets beneath him. It made her smile, knowing he couldn't do anything about it, and that spurred her on. She hesitated to turn it on, wanting to wait until he started speaking again, maybe when he was in the middle of a sentence, to see if he'd pause or stumble over his words.
As she ran the toy along her clit, she tilted her head to the side and sighed. "Your fingers always feel so good inside me, baby," she said, slipping the vibrator lower and slowly plunging it inside of her. "They're so long and perfect. And you use them so well."
He exhaled, still completely entranced with everything she was saying and doing. Because just as long as she hadn't had any sexual stimulation, he hadn't seen her experience it either, and this was just as exhilarating for him as it was for her.
"Are you trying to kill me?" he asked softly, briefly meeting her eyes.
She laughed a little, giving him the most mischievous look before clicking the vibrator on and slowly moving it in and out of herself. "If you want to call it quits and just fuck me, all you have to do is say so... I don't mind, believe me..."
He genuinely looked like he was contemplating it before shaking his head softly, a hint of sadness flashing in his eyes. "No, I-I promised I'd make it even. I want to watch you."
With that sentiment, Y/N worked the vibrator a little faster, sighing out as she did so. "So... When you do finally fuck me, do you still want to take me from behind?"
"Mhm," Spencer sighed, shifting his position again. "You feel so good that way. So nice and tight. And it's even better when I have your hair in my fingers, hearing you moan for me while I tug on it."
As her one hand worked the vibrator inside and out of her, Y/N moved her other to circle her clit, both of them working together to build up the orgasm that was already starting to come to the surface. After all this time not having any sexual release, she knew this wouldn't take long, even if she tried to take it slow.
She moaned out softly like Spencer described, barely keeping her eyes open enough to see him grip the sheets tighter. His eyes were trained on her movements, barely blinking.
Since she was closer to orgasm than she'd been in months, she closed her eyes before speaking again, hoping that he'd continue talking and knowing that when he did it would finally give her the release she'd so desperately wanted to feel.
"Fuck, baby, yes... I love when you fuck me from behind and pull my hair. It makes me feel like such a bad girl..."
"Oh? So you'd rather I fuck you like a dirty whore than my girlfriend, is that it?"
Her words seemed to have flipped a switch in him, because every one of his was dripping with a deep seduction she'd only ever heard from him a few times. It sent a jolt of electricity through her body as her hands picked up speed, and she brought herself closer to the edge.
"Ohhh, yes," she sighed, her eyes squeezing shut harder as she felt that telltale tension in her lower stomach. She was going to cum any second now. "Please, baby, I want it so bad..."
He spoke loud and clear, knowing exactly what would get her there. "Aw, my poor little slut hasn't been fucked in so long she's desperate to be degraded? Is that what you want? You wanna be fucked so dumb you can't even think?"
Every sensation she was feeling right now really did send her into a state of speechlessness. It was truly magical the way Spencer knew how to control her like that. He knew every trick in the book, every single thing that would make her numb in the best ways possible, and it never got old. All she could manage were sharp breaths and the occasional whimper as she started to experience the first orgasm she'd had in just over a month.
All it took was one word. One demand. One forceful step on the gas pedal that sent her flying off the cliff and into the pool of pleasure below.
"Come."
With a long, drawn-out moan, Y/N held the vibrator as far inside her as she could take it, her other hand working her clit through one of the most blinding orgasms she'd ever experienced by herself. Her head stayed planted firmly against the headboard as her back arched and her toes curled, every muscle in her body tensing. Her vision went white, sparkling like tv static behind closed eyelids as she lit up with pleasure. God, she missed that feeling. Everything was so heavy and light at the same time, even as she came down, her back slumping against the headboard once again and her eyes fluttering open.
Spencer looked at her like she was the only thing he'd ever known, ever had the pleasure to see with his own two eyes.
Seeing how obvious it was that he was trying very hard not to do anything about his own arousal, Y/N clicked the vibrator off and slid it out of herself, smiling weakly at him and trying to catch her breath. "You want a taste?"
She'd never seen him move faster in her life. She laughed softly as he climbed over to her and brought the toy to his lips, looking her deep in the eyes as he took it in his mouth and sucked on it. The pure guttural groan that left his throat sent a chill down her spine, made even more profound when his hand came up to run his fingers through her pussy softly. She jolted forward at the contact, sending the vibrator further into his mouth, to which he groaned again and fluttered his eyes closed.
His fingers gathered more of her arousal as he pulled off the vibrator and opened his eyes again, sitting back just a little. He then brought his fingers away and to his lips, coating them in her arousal like lip balm. He sucked them off quickly before climbing forward and kissing her on the mouth.  
Tasting herself on him was almost as intoxicating as the orgasm itself, Y/N leaning into him and bringing her hands up to comb through his hair after tossing the vibrator to the side. The two of them stayed like that for a long time, making out with each other before they eventually came up for air.
Spencer smiled, leaning his forehead against hers. "You're fucking incredible, you know that?"
She laughed, brushing her nose against his. "You're the one who bought me a vibrator, And helped me get through this injury... I love you, you know."
He sighed into her, pressing another small, sweet kiss to her lips before shifting seemingly rather uncomfortably. "I love you, too. But as much as I love you, I really need to take that cold shower now."
"I'll get our pizza started while you do that," Y/N said with a laugh. "And then, maybe I can finally convince you to watch Twilight with me without falling asleep? At least the first movie?"
Spencer got off the bed and kissed the top of her head with the most doting smile. "Anything you want."
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jetaime-jespere · 3 years ago
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I Was Enchanted To Meet You
This is a long time in the works, and a gift to my dear friend @cmhotchniss-blog, who sent me her idea of how Aaron and Emily met. Most of the ideas are hers, and I am forever grateful she let me connect some of the dots. 💓
"I’d like to think this is how we were supposed to meet. For a brief moment in time, that’s all. To steer one another in the right direction, if you will.”
One night for Aaron and Emily has a lasting impact on them both, twenty-four years later.
A mess of metal is what’s left behind on a dusky stretch of Route 66. Shattered glass sparkles like diamonds along the wet asphalt in the darkening sky as night meets the last moments of the day. Smoke curls and hisses around the mangled frame of the SUV, the stillness of the air a juxtaposition to the chaos that wraps around them - a slew of first responders, a few ominous rumbles of thunder, the mounting traffic on the other side of the highway. It’s a cacophony of sounds and sirens, shrill and relentless, that bring them all back to the reality that it can’t get much worse than this.
Read the rest below or on ao3!
There’s shouting - so much shouting - the frantic and panicked voices from the normally imperturbable team as one of their own is pulled from the passenger seat, limp and unresponsive. It only took seconds for things to go horribly wrong. Accidents were never supposed to happen, and yet here they were, helplessly surrounding a team of paramedics who were just a little too quiet in their intense focus, their faces stretched a little too thin, a little too grey, as they bent over Emily.
Her speech is slurred; her eyes flutter and blink weakly as they fight to keep her conscious and alert, rattling off blood pressure numbers with thinly veiled concern. They abruptly push JJ to the side, curtly demanding the need for more space to work, bark directions to the hospital, and start preparing to move her into the ambulance.
On the other side, a hand with a set of bitten down nails grapples for purchase at Dave’s shirt, fingers wrapping around the folds of expensive fabric to pull him closer in one last moment of semi lucidity. With a fading grasp Emily drags him down close enough to whisper something inaudible in his ear, words meant for only him to hear. The older man frowns, eyebrows furrowing with confusion as she falls unconscious, the last lick of light disappearing behind the trees.
____
“Dad, are you sleeping?”
Aaron’s eyes snap open a little too quickly, the bowl of popcorn nearly spilling into his lap when he jumps to attention. The voice, a familiar one, is insistent, as if it’s not the first time he’s said his name in the last few minutes. “No,” he says quickly and he’s not entirely sure who he’s reassuring. “No. I was just -”
“Let me guess,” Jack scoffs, taking a large handful from his own, much larger bowl of popcorn in his lap. “Just nodded off.”
“I’m paying attention,” Aaron attempts weakly as Jack laughs under his breath and shakes his head.
“I’ve heard that before.” His son reaches for the remote to rewind the last ten minutes of the scene he’d missed, still laughing. “This is what … the third week in a row?”  While he’s right, Jack doesn’t seem bothered. The years away have made him wise beyond his years, with a patience not often possessed by hormonal teenage boys who spend most of their time with a screen in their face. Aaron often thinks his son inherited the best of Haley - her patience, for starters. He resembles her too, and every now and then, looking at Jack is like looking into a window of the past. A past that could have been a fantasy, for now it seems like so far gone.
“Something like that,” Aaron mumbles. It’s true. In the four months they’ve lived in the quaint Philadelphia suburbs of Chester County, an idyllic place without the Main Line housing prices, adjustment has taken on a new meaning once again. Gone are the fake identities, the constant checking and double checking of doors and windows, the frequent looks over their shoulders, the unsettling notion that it might not end - that this might, unfairly, be their reality. He knows they’d go to the end of the earth to find Scratch - they’d done it before to find Foyet, then Doyle. They fought monsters before, but somehow, this was different.
There had been a finality in his decision to take Jack and go into Witsec. His final act to name Emily as Unit Chief was an easy one, and while it didn’t lessen the blow of the circumstances in which he and Jack left, in a flurry of panic, reminiscent of one his son experienced once before, it gave him a semblance of peace he wasn’t expecting. A little bit of reprieve, the ability to sever ties that may never be rebuilt, to no fault of their own. The cruel and unusual situation was one that they always risked with the nature of their work, one that was always a distant possibility.
In the quiet moments, he thinks of her. The what ifs and the whys. Everything between them that was said, and what never was. What he’s never told anyone is just how long he’s thought of her in one way or another, the one night they shared together, years ago, tucked neatly away in his mind to save for nights when he wondered just how things got to be this way.
“Come on, Dad,” Jack laughs. “At least try to make it through this movie. You said you wanted to see this one.”
With a hint of guilt as his obvious disinterest, Aaron sits up a bit straighter on the couch, grips the popcorn bowl in his hands, locking his eyes on the television. The plot of the movie is already lost on him, despite it being a topic of conversation for the last several days. “Just play the movie, Jack.” He stifles a yawn into his fist and valiantly attempts to focus his attention on the screen.
Aaron is dozing when he’s interrupted again; this time by his phone vibrating on the table. He doesn’t miss Jack’s eyes flickering over to the phone. “It’s just like old times,” he sighs. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”
The name on the screen is the very last he expects to see at such an hour in the middle of the week. Aaron frowns, the phone cradled in his hands as the phone vibrates insistently. It’s the familiar push and pull of guilt he feels when his eyes shift between his son and the phone again, an unexpected window into a life he long left behind. The phone keeps ringing, immediately following the first unanswered call. Not a good sign, he thinks.
“Dad?”
“I need to take this, Jack,” Aaron says quickly. It’s late enough that this is anything but a casual phone call. The blanket is tossed aside and the popcorn already forgotten. He barely hears Jack’s half-hearted protest as the phone crackles static and then connects. The voice on the other end speaks first, his tone clouded with thinly veiled fear.
“Aaron.”
“Dave.” His tone is equally clipped, even and steady even as the phone is held tightly in his hand, waiting for whatever news is about to come.
“Aaron, you need to get to Prince William Medical Center as soon as you can.” It’s the urgency in Dave’s voice that unnerves him; it sets off every warning bell in his head. His normally unflappable, at times annoyingly rational friend sounds harried and exhausted, as if it’s already been the longest of nights, as if making this very phone call was a last resort. “It’s Emily.”
Emily .
The words reverberate through his head, the implications tear through his chest like a series of spears. He knew it wasn’t good, but he didn’t expect this. “What happened?” But years of experience and unbridled heartache have steeled his nerves, tested his resolve time and time again. He should be used to this by now - bad news that haunts those he loves. But the fear is like a vice, a cold stab that wraps itself around his mind and back again.
“There was an accident.” Dave begins. It’s been a few years since he’s seen him, but through the phone Aaron can see the lines on his forehead that have certainly deepened by now, perhaps a few have been added over time as the years add up.
“Accident? What kind of accident?”
He barely listens as Dave recounts the last few hours in excruciating detail. They were on a case - local - Reston - on their way back to Quantico. A poorly timed summer storm made visibility terrible, rendering driving nearly impossible. They were sideswept by another SUV, the impact sending them careening into the median on 66 just outside of Woodbridge. It sounds like anyone’s worst nightmare - airbags deployed, the windshield shattered upon impact, the entire hood a mangled mess of metal as the car careened to a stop, the threatening hiss of the engine.
But the totaled car was the very least of their problems.
“She’s in critical condition, Aaron,” Dave says carefully, as if it’s only part of the truth, as if somehow it’s even graver than this. “She’s unconscious.” It doesn’t sound good - her head hit the window on impact, the rest of Dave’s news confirms his worst fears - a likely head injury, the extent of which they don’t know.
It doesn’t make sense. It seems like some kind of sick, ill joke - a nightmare he’ll wake up from, only to find Jack having devoured both bowls of popcorn and the credits of the movie he never actually watched rolling. “What aren’t you telling me Dave?”
“I think you’d want to be here, Aaron. It … it could go either way at this point.” Dave’s voice is so heavy, something Aaron isn’t used to. His friend was typically the voice of reason, the one he went to for assurance when things seemed to be spiraling out of control - something he did many times over. And now the tables were turned to their side, a cruel twist of fate. It takes no convincing; he’s already reaching for his jacket on the hook by the door, grappling for an umbrella shoved unceremoniously in a closet somewhere closeby.
“I’ll be there as soon as possible.”
“Mendoza is on his way.,” JJ says quietly as she rounds the corner with two cups of coffee in her hands. “ He just called me.”
“That might complicate things.” Dave wrings his hands and paces the tiny hallway. “Who told him?” He asks curiously. It hadn’t been long since Emily had shown up in his office one night, shoulders heavy as she relayed the news of their breakup. Dave is no stranger to the failures of love - having been thrice divorced himself. Sometimes timing was to blame, other times it was priorities. In their case it was commitment, or lack thereof, things fizzling out and hasty goodbyes, half-hearted assurances of keeping in touch, that one will call the other. Yet Dave isn’t exactly surprised to hear the news. Despite their challenges, Mendoza had been all but enamored with Emily, in awe of her at times. He wasn’t a stupid man; he wasn’t surprised when she didn’t follow him to Colorado. There was always something else that stood in her way. He just never knew exactly what.
“Word travels fast.”
“Aaron is on his way.” After a long pause, Dave scrapes a hand across his face, exhaustion bleeding through the cracks of age. “I just called him.”
JJ only nods and stares into Emily’s room with a pensive expression. “What do we tell them?”
“We tell them what we know. Hope for the best. That's all we can do.”
...
The storm takes the humidity with it, a soft chilly breeze spreading through the darkness. Aaron hurries through the hospital doors, charging past the triage nurse towards the elevators. He’s only vaguely aware of the other man that wedges himself past the doors just in the nick of time. He looks just as distracted as Aaron feels, eyes distant -worlds away - and lost in his own thoughts as he offers a quick smile, fists shoved in jacket pockets.
“What floor?” Aaron offers with a tight smile.
“The ICU.”
He nods and pushes just one button, indicating that they’re in fact going to the same place.
“I’m sorry.” The other man nods his head in solidarity, noticing the single illuminated circle on the panel, shuffles his feet, checks his watch and hangs his head. The phone in his pocket buzzes; he checks it with a resigned sigh. Aaron feels a touch of sympathy for him, wonders just what brings him there.
Except he doesn’t have to wonder much longer, because not only is Dave waiting when the doors open, but he clearly knows whoever Aaron just shared the elevator with. And judging by the way Dave’s eyebrows lift just enough at the sight of them both, practically side by side, something tells him there’s more to the story than just a simple coincidence.
“I see you’ve met?” Dave cocks his head to the side, scrubs his chin with his hand thoughtfully. “I wish it wasn’t under these circumstances.”
“What the hell happened?” The man beside Aaron demands, a little more forcefully this time.
“So you haven’t met.”
“What the hell is going on, Dave?” Aaron snaps first, his patience starting to wane. The last three hours of travel have already started to catch up with him. It’s been years since he’s had to channel his feelings into something more stoic and taciturn. It doesn’t return as easily this time. He tells himself it’s because of age and time, yet the nagging voice in his head says it’s something else entirely.
“Andrew Mendoza, meet Aaron Hotchner. The former chief of the BAU. Hotch, this is Andrew Mendoza. Mendoza was the Special Agent in Charge of DC’s Field Office. He consulted with the BAU on a few local cases about a year ago.”
“Was?” Aaron questions, quickly putting together what Dave doesn’t tell him about Andrew Mendoza. There’s only one reason why he’d be there - a reason he didn’t anticipate. He has to swallow the bitter pang of regret that rises in his throat. It shouldn’t exist at all, but a familiar feeling that has lingered just within his reach whenever he thought of Emily. The chances they never took, the timing that seemed to elude them for one reason or another. Time. It had never been on their side.
“The Denver Field Office offered me a promotion last month. My daughter and I are moving out to Colorado in a few weeks.”
“Congratulations,” Aaron says stiffly as he offers his hand. It’s obvious why he’s here - the same reason Aaron is. “I’ve heard good things about Denver.” There’s something about the news that satisfies him.
“I’m sorry to meet you under these circumstances.” Mendoza glances at Aaron, then Dave, then back at Aaron again. “But what the hell happened tonight?”
“JJ didn’t tell you?”
“Just that there was an accident.”
Dave presses his mouth into a thin line, relaying the story with such tact that Aaron knows it’s an abridged version, a slightly less terrible rendition of what happened back on the highway. “We were right outside of Woodbridge. On our way back from a case in Reston. Visibility was awful. It happened so fast. Emily must have hit her head on impact. She lost consciousness shortly after the ambulance arrived. They’re considering surgery to relieve the pressure in her brain.”
Dave pauses, letting the news sink in, taking a deep breath of his own to compose his frayed nerves. “There’s a chance of brain damage but they won’t know more until after she regains consciousness.” His gaze shifts between them both, gauging their reactions.
“When will that be?”
“There’s no easy way to tell. Could be hours after the surgery. Or days. She’s not breathing on her own. It’s going to be a while before we know anything.” He repeats the doctors’ words as calmly as he can. Dave’s typically unflappable demeanor is strained; the weariness laces through his voice.
“How did this happen?” It’s Mendoza who speaks up this time, clearly distraught and searching for words of his own. He almost looks embarrassed by his uncharacteristic show of emotion.
“It was an accident,” Dave repeats as calmly as he can, as if he’s practiced this speech in his head before giving it. “No one is to blame.”
The air seems to thicken around them, the reality setting in that while it’s already been a long night, it’s only just beginning.
“We’re here because of Emily. It’s a waiting game now, as long as it might be. May as well make yourselves comfortable. There’s a waiting room just down the hallway and a cafeteria on the sixth floor, if you want some coffee. It might eat a hole in your stomach, but it’s something.”
The room around him starts to spin. Aaron can’t remember the last conversation they had - something hasty by phone, he suspects, in the days of time differences and small talk. Never awkward, but something always lingering beneath the surface. Their conversations were all about what wasn’t said - subtext, layers of awareness only they possessed.
“One other thing,” Dave adds, as if on afterthought, a fleeting thought he nearly forgot, nothing more than a passing thought. “Before she lost consciousness, she was rambling incessantly about apple pie.” Dave adds, as if on afterthought, eyes narrowing in confusion. “The best apple pie in DC. Any idea what that could be about?”
Aaron stiffens, his jaw flexing at Dave’s seemingly innocuous mention in the midst of everything else. It’s been years since he’s last seen her and another fifteen since that night, one he’s never actually spoken of out loud. It could have been a lifetime ago, a distant memory. It feels so foreign at this point he could have dreamed it. Surely he misheard - there’s no way she’d be thinking of that. He pinches the bridge of his nose, stifles a yawn into his fist. It’s about to be a very long night. “Where is she? Is she in surgery yet?”
“Not yet. She’s just down the hall.” In the distance a monitor beeps then an alarm starts to go off, punctuated by the efficient scramble of nurses. It reminds him just how much he hates hospitals, and Aaron breathes a heavy sigh of relief when they don’t go into Emily’s room.
“You can see her, you know.” Dave offers gently, sensing the growing tension. “One visitor at a time.”
It’s somehow decided, without officially being decided out loud, that Aaron will go in first. Mendoza quietly mentions something about needing to call his daughter. Not for the first time this evening, Aaron is actually grateful Jack can hold his own at home for a little while, that they’re long past those years of constant check-ins. A simple text will do in a few hours’ time. And he steels his nerves with a few deep breaths before slipping into the room, the silence punctuated by the staccato beeping of monitors and a ventilator.
She’s like a ghost, translucent almost - amidst the machines and wires. He remembers a time, years ago, when the roles were reversed. Aaron wonders if she felt the same clench of fear in her gut, the awful feeling of helplessness that came along with being at someone’s bedside in a hospital. He wonders if she felt the same desperation clinging to every nerve in her body that things would be okay.
“Hey,” he says, sinking into the hard plastic chair at the side of the bed. “It’s been awhile.” Deep down he knows she won’t - can’t - respond. But there was a moment of hope - a tiny one - flimsy and built on nothing - that maybe she would move or something to indicate she heard him. There isn’t one.
Aaron swallows the rising lump in this throat, thick and pressing right down into his lungs. “I really need you to wake up, Emily.”
...
“When’s the big move?” Dave presses Mendoza gently, asking all the questions Emily never gave answers to. He folds his arms across his chest, unable to tear his gaze from the scene before him. From his place behind the window, he watches Aaron lower himself onto a chair on shaky legs, taking a few steadying breaths as he settles beside her. He rests a weary head on his fist.
“Two weeks. Keely wanted to finish her soccer season.” Mendoza crosses his arms over his chest as his eyes follow Dave’s.
Dave nods without really comprehending the words. “You’ll have to let us know when you’re both settled out there.”
“Yeah.”
Dave breaks an awkward silence. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out between you two.”
“Sometimes it doesn’t.” By now, Mendoza’s full attention is on the scene before them both, face solemn and stiff. “What’s the story between them?” His eyes narrow ever so slightly, shades of suspicion cloud his features and his shoulders tense. Years of profiling make Dave keenly aware of these subtle changes in his behavior. He’s questioning it .
Dave shrugs. “Friends? Colleagues?” By now, Aaron is brushing Emily’s arm with his thumb, and if he isn’t mistaken, swears he sees his lips moving too. “Anything else and your guess is as good as mine.”
It seems to smooth things over for a few moments, even as something else is planted in his mind. Something he never considered at all.
“Have you been to Boathouse Row yet?”
It’s an attempt to make small talk as they sit down; it doesn’t get past Aaron, who stays silent, completely ignoring the question.
“So what is it you’re not telling me?” Dave passes a flimsy styrofoam cup over the small table.
“Now might not be the best time, Dave,” Aaron retorts, rolling a tiny cup of creamer in his fingers.
“We’ve got nothing but time, Aaron. Surgeon says things could take hours. She might even be conscious immediately after. And you’re not driving back to Philly anytime soon.”
He has a point . “She was talking about when we first met.” He sighs heavily as he spins the cup around in his hands. “It was a long time ago.”
“At the BAU?” Dave knits his eyebrows in confusion.
Aaron rubs his eyes tiredly. By now any movement feels like effort, the space behind his eyes starting to throb with an oncoming headache and exhaustion. “Before that.”
“You mean you knew - “ Dave stops, his coffee ignored and interest piqued. “You two knew each other before?”
“We met years ago. Would be at least twenty now.” He’s too tired to do the math of exactly how long it’s been. “We met when I was working for her mother one summer in DC.”
“I certainly had no idea.”
“No one did. It never really came up.”
“By choice or on purpose?” Dave quips, his eyes just a touch brighter than they were moments before. He chuckles when Aaron just stares right back, the hint of a smile hidden in his eyes. “So what’s the story?”
His expression is wistful, as if he were dusting off a long held memory. “It was kind of an accident.”
__
Twenty-Four Years Ago
DC
Not for the first time that evening, Aaron checks his watch discreetly and sighs into his fist. It’s only eight-thirty; who knows how long this thing will last. It wasn’t that he agreed to this. It’s practically a rite of passage when working for an Ambassador, or so he’s been told -working one of the many extravagant parties and benefit dinners that were practically part of her job description. The ballroom is full of DC’s political elite - congressmen and senators, the Secretary of State and the Attorney General. Rumor had it the Vice President would be making an appearance. For that reason alone, security was heightened, every egress monitored, yet he’s never felt more invisible in a room full of people.
Aaron spots her accidentally, but something tells him she’s not trying to blend in. The tall figure on the opposite side of the room is entirely too young to be one of them , yet she mingles easily with a champagne flute between her fingers. She’s wearing an elegant black dress with a high neck and open back. It shows off delicate shoulder blades that jut out like wings when she moves. He isn’t the only one staring.
She’s the Ambassador’s daughter - Emily . Aaron has only heard of her from the others, her name being uttered in exasperation when one of the agents finds her breaking protocol yet again - sneaking out and in at all hours of the night, slipping an endless parade of friends past the entrance logs without proper verification. He’s never spoken a word to her; he knows almost nothing about her except that she’s a student at Yale, supposedly speaks multiple languages, and has a knack for causing trouble.
They haven’t spoken a word to each other, but her eyes meet his across the square in the middle of the room that is supposedly a dance floor. His mouth goes dry and he immediately looks away when Emily excuses herself from whatever conversation she’s immersed in, only to look back seconds later to find her sauntering directly towards him , effortlessly maneuvering through the crowd.
Aaron nods a polite hello, attempting to keep his expression neutral when she’s finally closed the gap between them both.
“You know,” Emily says with amusement, eyes flicking over him. “You could at least try not to look so miserable.”
“Who said anything about being miserable?”
“It’s practically part of the job requirements if you work for my mother. Besides, you’ve been wearing the same expression since this thing started.” When she catches his look of sheer bewilderment and mild annoyance, she laughs softly. “Trust me. I’ve been to enough of these things to know what I’m looking for.”
“Are you spying on me?” He glances around, wondering just where the Ambassador even is amidst a sea of black suits. He should be keeping a close eye, after all. He strains his neck a little, scanning the crowd purposefully until he sees the woman that strongly resembles the miniature version of her in front of him.
“No. I’m just observant.” Without missing a beat, Emily waves to someone - a Congressman Aaron immediately recognizes from the news - something about a scandal involving a rather young intern under a desk - but he hadn’t been paying too much attention to remember all the details. “He’s such a scumbag,” she adds quietly without any elaboration.
He senses her reticence immediately; he wonders just how she knows all of this, if he should push, if at all “Isn’t that part of their job description to a degree?”
“Some of them,” Emily mutters. “But he’s one of the worst.”
“So I’ve heard,” Aaron murmurs, tearing his eyes away from the crowd to get a better look at her. Up close she’s even more stunning, with sharp cheekbones and a perfectly symmetrical face, her smile wide and eyes like dark orbs. “I’m sorry, have we met before?”
“I’ve seen you around. You’re the new guy.”
“New-ish. I started in March.” It comes out a bit more dejectedly than it should, but it’s hard to hide the disdain he feels for it all. Things have been far from easy over the last few months. It’s a mindless shuffle of one foot in front of the other, days that blend together similar to the ones before, with the slightest hope that a few more weeks of patience might wield a change.
“New to me.” She’s only been home for the summer a few weeks at most, so he can count on one hand the number of times he’s actually seen her. “So what’s your story?”
“My story?”
“You stick out like a sore thumb.” She cracks a grin at her own remark. “You’re too tense.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Agent …”
“Hotchner,” he fills in quickly.
“Agent Hotchner, you certainly wouldn’t be the first security detail to use this as a stepping stone to a different career. You’re all just biding time until something better comes along.” She’s so matter of fact, so assured, it’s as if she’s had this very conversation with every other agent in the room at one point or another. “It’s usually the quiet ones. They have less to prove.”
“Are we that transparent?”
“Some of you. And I can’t say I blame you. This place surely isn’t a means to an end.”
“What does your mother think of your beliefs?”
“My mother knows exactly what I think of her career and everything that goes along with it. It’s what’s gotten us to this point, actually.”
“And what point might that be?” He’s only heard of some of the epic arguments between the two of them, the harshness of their voices reverberating around the Ambassador’s office or some ornately decorated living room. The bitter clashes of two strong wills, hidden behind the fact that just maybe they were more similar than different.
“A story for a different time,” Emily says smoothly. “Can’t exactly talk about it here.”
“You’re full of stories, aren’t you?” Aaron deduces but she isn’t even paying attention anymore as she scans the crowd. He can see the wheels start to turn in her head, the flicker of an idea materializing somewhere. She turns back, this time a grin stuck to her lips. “What?” He asks reluctantly.
“Let’s get out of here.” Emily bats her thickly lashed, heavily lined eyes. “This thing is going nowhere fast. Besides, you look like you could use a break. “How long have you been on?”
“And go where?”
“Anywhere,” she says casually with a wink as she plucks a champagne flute from a nearby tray, downing it quickly. “I probably shouldn’t drive, but you can.” It’s accompanied with a flippant toss of hair over her shoulder, an expectant purse of her lips.
It’s certainly not the smartest idea or the most prudent, but something tells him Emily could care less about prudence and image. “I could be suspended for unauthorized use of a government-issued vehicle.” Not to mention, having his boss’s daughter in said government vehicle with him, or completely leaving his assignment altogether. He remembers skimming over the terms of employment months ago, specifically the section about fraternization with members of the Ambassador’s Family.
“Who said anything about one of theirs?” She looks almost bored now, tapping her fingers against the empty flute. “That’s no fun anyway. They have trackers on them. For security purposes.” She forms air quotes with her fingers. “We wouldn’t get far.”
He’s about to ask her how she even possesses that knowledge when he feels her hand on his waist, dipping into the creases of his jacket like a lover would. It doesn’t phase her, and while normally his reflexes would spring into quick action, he’s glued into place.
“You have a car don’t you?” Emily unabashedly pats his pocket, feeling for keys.
He opens his mouth to object, but she’s too fast. She grins with satisfied smirk, a triumphant click of her tongue as he stiffens awkwardly when they jingle against her hand. “You aren’t a great liar, Agent Hotchner.”
“Aaron,” he says somewhat stiffly, resignedly. He’s doing his damn best to keep his eyes centered on the ballroom but it’s getting harder and harder to concentrate on the task at hand. The scent of perfume - something undoubtedly expensive - lingers and it makes him dizzy even if he hasn’t had a sip to drink. “And I didn’t lie.”
“Aaron.” His name rolls off her tongue thoughtfully. “Aaron,” she repeats, as if it’s the first time she’s ever heard it. “I never understood why there were two A’s. What do you do with the second one?”
His head spins to keep up with her, how her mind somehow bounces from one thought to the next with seemingly little direction. “Never gave it much thought myself, actually.” From the corner of his eye he catches one of the other agents giving him a quizzical, perhaps slightly jealous, eye roll. It’s a bad idea to entertain, but one he can’t ignore. Emily is staring at him, eyes sparkling, with the slightest touch of longing. Longing for what he isn’t sure, but whatever it is, it wouldn’t be found in the middle of the opulent ballroom.“What do you have in mind?”
“I’ve been told of a place not too far from here,” she begins slowly, a smile on her face at his gradual acquiesce. “A diner that supposedly has the best apple pie in DC.”
“Apple pie?” Just how much has she had to drink?
“I’m starving ,” she offers with a hand pressed to her flat stomach. Aaron’s eyes follow, lingering up and down on her narrow frame.
“They’re about to serve dinner,” He says lamely, shaking his head to ensure he heard her correctly. Waiters have started to circle the room with large serving trays balanced precariously above their heads, passing around the plates that he guesses must cost a few hundred dollars a head, maybe more. The crowds have thinned as more guests take their seats.
Emily shrugs with disinterest. “Once you’ve been to one of these things you’ve been to them all. Besides, this is when things start to get really insufferable.”
“Is that so?”
“Someone will start talking,” Emily drawls sardonically, surveying the crowd starting to take their seats at previously assigned tables - tables he could probably rattle off by name if asked. “Make some big speech promoting their campaign trying to get reelected or whatever. Then they all will. They love hearing themselves talk.”
“Part of the job, I guess.” He stares, unsure of what to say next. Her attitude towards politics is the complete opposite of that of her mother. His interactions with his boss have been somewhat limited; he doubts if she even remembers his first name. Yet he’s seen the way Elizabeth Prentiss revels in a world seemingly dominated by men, a woman in a league of her own. He wonders just how much the Ambassador has sacrificed; wonders if her daughter might be amongst that list. It would certainly explain their tenuous relationship.
“So what do you say? Surely you don’t want to sit around listening to a bunch of old guys spout a bunch of half truths to line their pockets?” She seems unbothered yet again, almost amused by the sight in front of her - as if her premonition of how the night would go is coming true.
There’s nothing he wants less. “How do you suppose I get out of this? I’m still on the clock, you know.”
“I’ll leave that up to you.” Emily sets the champagne flute on a nearby serving tray and spins on her heel, sauntering back towards the center of the ballroom. “I’ll be outside of the South Gate when you figure it out.”
In the end, he makes up an excuse to leave. It’s not exactly convincing and the agent in charge doesn’t exactly believe him when he feigns an emergency - food poisoning. But Aaron has always had an exceptionally good poker face, grimacing just enough to make it look questionable, and the other agent curtly nods, grunting something about having enough security for the evening, and making up the hours later in the week. It falls on deaf ears - he’s already out the doors of the security office, a small grin playing at the corners of his lips as he strides across the asphalt driveways with his back toward the house.
Sure enough, Emily is waiting for him, finishing the rest of a cigarette when he pulls around to the South Gate. He keeps his taillights off; the less attention he draws to himself the better.
His car has seen better days, the leather seats worn smooth and the stereo outdated, the steering wheel permanently indented from the grip of his own two hands, scuff marks and faded carpets. But it’s well maintained, and Emily smiles appreciatively when he holds the passenger side door open, then explains how to adjust the seat, just in case . She doesn’t seem to notice at all, just unceremoniously tugs her long skirt out of the way of the door and kicks off her heels.
“Fucking things,” she grumbles. The heels are sharp as knives, ridiculously impractical yet Aaron can’t help but picture her wearing them in a dress much shorter than the one she currently has on. He shakes his head, reminding himself not to go there, because the reality is, she’s still his boss’s daughter, and if anyone were to see them, he’d most definitely be written up, maybe worse, for taking her off property without following protocol. But she’s close enough to touch, her arm a gentle weight against his own on the center console.
“So,” Aaron asks, his voice barely audible. He shifts the car into reverse, breath hitching when his knuckles brush against her hand. “Just where is this diner you speak so highly of?”
“Silver Spring.”
“I thought you said DC.”
“It’s close enough.” Emily tucks a long piece of hair behind her ear with a roll of her eyes. “Just trust me.”
It’s the way she says it that makes him wonder if she would do the same for him. Aaron grips the wheel in silence as the cool night air seeps through the open windows. He catches her shiver and is about to offer his jacket when she breaks the silence.
“Make a right up at the light, and then it’s a quick left.” Emily shifts in the passenger seat. Her fingers twitch as if she were still holding a cigarette between them; she tucks her hand against her cheek daintily. She’s very much aware the passenger side is nearly spotless - nothing to indicate someone sits there frequently. No wayward sunglasses or a forgotten piece of jewelry belonging to a significant other. She straightens the wrinkled fabric of her dress and lowers her eyes.She’d had him pegged wrong - certainly he’d had it all figured out, the well intended nature that comes along with a mostly idyllic existence. She imagined a naive wife or girlfriend completely enamored with him, both parties working to make ends meet for bigger and better things - not happiness, for one. That they had in spades. But maybe a white picket fence, a dog and a baby or two one day.
Instead, he seems lonely and guarded, a choice he was forced to make. Circumstances, maybe, she thinks as the traffic light ahead blinks from a glowing green to yellow, to red. It shines a little brighter than usual, a universal warning everyone should understand . It makes her shiver again.
“Here. Take my jacket” The red light gives him the chance to shrug out of the confines of his suit jacket, which he hands over. He palms the wheel a little tighter when she wraps herself into it, the fabric draping over her like a shield.
“This is the place?” Aaron studies the gaudy exterior of the diner, hard to miss and yet, the type of place you wouldn’t give a second thought. The fluorescent lighting nearly blinds him, and he’s somewhat surprised to see through the windows that multiple tables are full despite the late hour. He can hardly conceal his disbelief. “How’d you learn about this place?”
“Word gets around,” Emily says lightly as she slips her shoes back on, wincing slightly when she stands upright, nearly enveloped by his jacket. “I’ve learned not to judge a book by its cover. Maybe you should do the same.”
They find a booth in the back, tucked away from the clamor of the bustling kitchen and constant jingle of the doors. Again they’re left with nothing but silence, a few wayward glances, and two plastic coated menus between them. The haggard waitress only nods abruptly at their order - two black coffees, one with splenda and one without, one slice of apple pie, and two forks.
“You think she thinks we’re a couple?”
“I’m sure she has a lot more on her mind than us.” Aaron twists the paper straw wrapper between his fingers and studies her across the table. What he’s not expecting is to realize she’s doing the same thing - analyzing his body language with a degree of precision that matches his own, an expression that hides what she’s thinking. He wonders if she’s practiced it over time. She wears his jacket like a coat of armor yet she’s curious, the mundane quietness of the diner a stark contrast to their initial surroundings a short time ago.
“How does someone like you end up working for my mother?” Emily asks out of nowhere, direct and forward without an ounce of hesitation. It could be mistaken for an interrogation, he muses.
“Someone like me?”
“Decent. With manners. Not some macho guy with a little man complex or some baggage like that who gets off swinging his gun around.” She blows the straw wrapper across the table; it hits him square in the shoulder and stays here until he flicks it off. She doesn’t seem to notice as the waitress sets down their much anticipated order amidst a promise to come back with some cream for the coffee.
It’s his turn to laugh; he knows exactly what type she’s referring to. He could name more of them than he has fingers. “Trust me, it wasn’t supposed to turn out this way.”
Emily carves out a large bite of apple pie with her fork, eyes closing with delight as it disappears between her lips, along with a delicate moan. “This is so good.” She pushes the pie plate towards him. “So then what was it?”
“Bad timing, for starters.” Aaron stabs his fork into the jagged slice of pie, cuts off a bite for himself. His stomach growls; it’s been hours since the early dinner he’d scarfed down behind the wheel on his way back to work the shift he just abandoned. “You’re right,” he says around a mouthful of apple and pastry crust. “That’s really good.”
“Told you.” She proudly lifts her shoulders, momentarily triumphant before she digs in for another bite. But she also looks expectant, ready for an answer, even with another forkful of pie. He supposes he owes her one.
“I wanted to join the FBI,” Aaron begins slowly. It comes to him that she’s only the second person he’s ever told any of this to. He supposed talking about it would make it real, take it from a pipe dream to something that could irrevocably fail right in front of his own eyes.
“The big leagues, huh?” She waves her fork in a circle, and it takes a moment for him to realize she isn’t totally shocked. “I could see that, actually, now that you mention it. You have the poker face for it, at least.” Emily gives a little grin, one that meets her eyes. “But that didn’t happen?”
“Had the application filled out and everything. Was going to send it in.”
“So what happened?”
“My girlfriend … She didn’t like the idea. The recruitment process takes months and basic training even longer. Close to a year sometimes. Haley wanted me to do something a little more traditional. Wanted me home at 6 for dinner and around on the weekends.” He takes another bite of pie, partially to gather his thoughts, and to let Emily give her own.
“Girlfriend, huh?”
“Well.” The fork in his hand feels heavy all of a sudden; he sets it down with a clatter. “We’re taking a break right now.”
She takes in his words, chuckles a little bit. “I’m a little disappointed in myself. I definitely had you all wrong.”
“You keep saying that.” It’s more of a question than a statement, a curiosity he can’t contain.
“I took you as settled. Happy. With Haley. ” His girlfriend’s name rolls off her tongue; hearing it sounds strange, like she’s saying something she shouldn’t.
“I’m ... figuring things out. We’re figuring things out.”
“Do you love her? Does she love you?” Emily asks directly without hesitation. “If you do, there shouldn’t be much to figure out.”
He stiffens. “I don’t … not love her. But we want different things. At some point, you have to be honest with each other, right? When you can’t make it work, what do you do?”
“I’m definitely not the person to ask.” She laughs but there isn’t any humor in it, more of a resigned sadness if he looks close enough through the rough edges hidden by carefully curated appearance. “Relationships aren’t something I’ve had a ton of luck with.”
“Maybe you’re dating the wrong people.”
“Maybe.” She looks around the diner, rests her chin in her hands. “I’m pretty directionless myself at the moment, if it makes you feel better.”
“It doesn’t, but thank you.” He takes a sip of coffee, more for something to do with his hands than a need for it. He wants to know more, wants to ask just what could possibly make her directionless. Someone who seemingly had it all.
“Sounds like we’re both lost.” There’s a dreamlike tone to her voice, as if they’re sharing a secret.
“We don’t have to be.”
“If I keep going at this rate, I’ll be a bored socialite by 30 throwing cocktail parties every night and getting drunk by the pool by day.”
“Who says?”
“No one has to say it. It’s … expected of me, I think?”
“Is that so?”
“I’m certainly not following in my mother’s footsteps into politics.” She scoffs. There’s contempt in her voice, for what he deduces is years of being put second, something she never asked for but received over and over again. “What else is there for me to do? Someone has to carry on the family tradition somehow.”
“What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know,” Emily says, dragging her fork through some of the remaining bits of pie on the plate. She flicks a crumb into the air.  “I’ve never really had a home , you know. Most of my life has been spent overseas. Just staying in one place for a while would be nice.”
“I always wanted to get away.” Aaron laments. “From Manassas at least.”
“Well, that’s understandable. You aren’t missing much there, or so I’ve heard.” She stirs a spoon into her coffee to work in the mess of splenda packets she’s dumped in.
He watches the liquid swirl, her mezmirzation at it. Something comes to him - something he’s always wanted to know. “Is it true you speak four languages?”
Emily looks up from her coffee, temporarily distracted by his question. “Six, actually. French, Italian, Spanish, Arabic, Greek, and some Russian.” She ticks them off on her fingers nonchalantly as if she were counting inanimate objects.
He does a double take. “Six? I can barely handle English.”
“It’s always been easy for me. I just wish I knew what to do with it, you know?”
“When I applied, I remember seeing that the FBI needs linguists. People with language experience to work overseas.” He takes his own fork to the last remaining bits of the pie, watching her face carefully for a reaction. She’s almost unreadable; he can’t discern just what she’s thinking.
She laughs - not the reaction he expected. “You know, applying for the FBI would absolutely piss my mother off entirely. She would hate it if I did that. Kind of makes me want to do it.”
“She and Haley should meet. I’m sure they’d have lots to talk about.”
“You want to hear what I think?” Emily says after a few long moments, the coffee and the pie that once sat between them are now gone. “I think you should go for it. The FBI. Do it and don’t look back. And call your girlfriend. Let her talk, but tell her how you feel.”
“And?”
“If she comes back, then you know it’s meant to be.”
...
“Never even knew this place existed,” Aaron says, lingering at Emily’s elbow as they pick their way across the pebbled driveway of the diner. She’s a little unsteady on the heels now, not unsurprising given the late hour and the time they spent sitting down.
“Who knew a diner in the middle of Silver Spring Maryland would have such great pie?” Dangling from her wrist is a to-go bag with an extra slice of pie for the morning - the waitress had kindly given her one on the house - the leftovers from the day before.
“I thought New Jersey was the diner capital of the world,” Aaron muses. “New Jersey is all about their diners and traffic circles.”
“And Bruce Springsteen,” Emily adds pointedly. “He’s from New Jersey.”
“Him too.” Aaron laughs quietly. The tension in his shoulders mounts; he doesn’t want this to end. He wants to talk to her, wants to keep her there. But the moment feels final. Emily catches the wrist of the hand that reaches out to cup her cheek, wraps her fingers around it. “If things were different -” he starts quietly, looking almost embarrassed.
“I don’t think that’s how it’s supposed to go, is it?” Emily leans into the weight of his calloused palm, into the touch of a man that isn’t her own. It feels foreign, like she’s taking something that isn’t hers. “I don’t think that’s in our cards, Aaron. Maybe in a different life.”
The ride back to DC is again silent, save for the crinkling of the paper bag in her lap. Aaron skips the main entrance and the long paved driveway, taking a shortcut around the massive property to the South Gate entrance. Emily side eyes him, looking slightly impressed. “Trying to remain inconspicuous?”
“I think that’s for the best.”
“I’d like to think this is how we were supposed to meet,” she offers as he pulls up to the outside of the South Gate. “For a brief moment in time, that’s all. To steer one another in the right direction, if you will.”
“Maybe.” He tells himself to pull away, curling it back around the steering wheel protectively. “Remember what I told you, Emily.” He watches her reach for her shoes, their moments together dwindling down to seconds. “Don’t live your life on the terms of someone else. Especially your mother. If our paths cross again and you’re a bored socialite throwing cocktail parties, we’ll have to talk.”
She loops some hair behind her ear, gives him a small smile. “If our paths cross again in ten years and you aren’t leading some FBI unit somewhere, I’ll have some words for you as well.” She draws a breath, carefully slips on her shoes. “Thank you for the pie, Aaron.” The creak of the passenger side door is the only thing he hears as she slips away like a ship in the night, not to turn back around.
Aaron watches her disappear across the grass, blending into the deep blue of the early morning, the sky not quite awake but out of the depths of night. She’s a shadowy dark figure amidst the promise of a new day. The clock on the dashboard nears 6:00 AM. The little red numbers glow are a reminder of the inevitable crash that will most definitely come later on. He isn’t 20 anymore, after all. But when he drives away, there’s a sense of renewal, one he can’t explain, but deep down understands.
He hands in his resignation before he can work another shift, and he never does make up the time he promised. Three days after that, he mails a thick packet of papers in a standard manila envelope to the FBI Headquarters in Quantico.
A week after that, he takes out his phone and dials Haley’s number. About thirteen years later, his son comes into the world, wailing and screaming with healthy lungs and a head of dark hair. Haley is tired and beaming, his pride is obvious as the tiny bundle is placed in his arms.
They name the baby Jack.
In some ways, the stars aligned.
He’ll sometimes wonder if Emily’s did too.
Present Day
“Why didn’t things ever work out between the two of you?”
Dave’s voice brings him back to reality, out of the daydream he’s held so close to his heart for so many years. It’s jarring at first, a confusing limbo of then and now, past and present blending together for a few long moments. He glances around, the harsh overhead lights glaring bright, the low hum of hospital sounds reverberating through his ears. Along with it comes the reality of why he’s there, and the bitter rush of fear that floods his consciousness.
“Timing.” Aaron spins his now empty coffee cup in his hands. “Even after Haley and I got divorced, it was never the right time.”
“You’re going to blame timing ? That’s the oldest trick in the book.”
“I never wanted to take the risk.” It’s the closest thing he can think of as truth. They built a tentative friendship after a rocky start, something built on mutual respect. His divorce brought new challenges - co parenting amidst a ridiculously stressful career, supporting and leading his team. Emily had always been one to hold her own, a silent backbone of their team, a friend to all of them. He’d relied on her, never wanted to lose what they had in hopes of something else . Ian Doyle had taken her from them all; her return was tense and it didn’t take a profiler to understand that Quantico just wasn’t home to her anymore. He let her walk away, encompassed by a fragile shell of his own tentative happiness, and in the years after she went to London, there was a permanent hole in his heart that never quite mended itself again. “Maybe I should have.”
“Love is a choice, Aaron. It doesn’t just happen. You have to choose to make things work.” Dave leans back in his seat, checks his watch, an eyebrow arching just a bit. “I thought you would have known that by now.”
“You and Krystall made a choice?”
“We still do. Every day we have to choose to love each other. Some days it’s easy. Others, not so much. But you know the best part?”
“I think you’re going to tell me anyway, Dave.”
“It’s never not been worth it, Aaron.” There’s a subtle gleam in his eye that wasn’t there before. “Something tells me you might just feel the same, if you gave it a chance.” Dave fumbles for his phone, patting the pockets of his jeans and then that of his blazer before finally pulling the phone from his breast pocket. He flips it open, his eyes widening at whatever message lights up the tiny screen.
“What is it?” Aaron asks with baited breath.
Dave looks up from his phone. For the first time since all of this began, he looks full of hope. “Emily’s out of surgery.”
The surgeon is pleased with the outcome of Emily’s procedure, and the air around them seemingly lightens with each minute he explains the procedure, and its success. The three of them hang on every word he says, asking questions and seeking assurances.
“She should be awake within a few hours. We’ll know more then, but her brain activity is good, and her vitals are strong. Agent Prentiss got very lucky. I have patients who often have a very different outcome.”
The relief is palpable, as if the tension was cut with a knife as they all exchange optimistic smiles and tentative handshakes, while profusely thanking Emily’s surgeon. Aaron excuses himself to call Jack - something he should have done hours ago. “I’m not going far,” he reminds Dave, his words a warning of what to do if anything changes in the next few minutes.
“We’ll be right here.”
Mendoza is shrugging into his jacket and digging for his keys with a look of resignation on his face. He catches Dave’s sideways glance. “I think it’s time I head out, Dave. Please give Emily my best wishes on a quick recovery when she’s discharged.” There’s a change in his voice, one that wasn’t there earlier.
“You’re leaving?” Dave asks curiously. “You aren’t going to stay and see Emily? It shouldn’t be much longer before we can go in.”
“No. I don’t think so.”
“Why?”
Mendoza shakes his head, runs a hand over his scalp. “I learned something tonight. You know when it’s just not meant to be, but you can’t find the reason why?”
Dave nods, a glimmer of understanding appearing in his eyes. “I do. I know it very well, actually.”
“I think I found the why.” His eyes roam around before they finally land on Aaron and Dave’s do too. The phone is still pressed to his ear but he’s still staring right into Emily’s room, never once looking away, even as his mouth moves in conversation to Jack on the other end. “I tried to deny it, so did Emily. But I don’t think her heart ever belonged to me. I think it belonged to him.”
Emily finally wakes up a few hours later. Aaron and Dave wait outside the room as she’s tended to by a horde of surgeons and nurses, testing brain function and vital signs, spattering off medical terms with ease. It’s a language only they understand, one Aaron never wants to learn. But their voices are hopeful, they have smiles on their faces as they talk to Emily, assessing her cognition and running tests. She’s a little confused and extremely tired, but awake and alert . Dave is just as relieved to see things appear normal; they’re both very aware of just how lucky they got.
Eventually, they’re finally allowed to see her.
“Do you mind if I … “ Aaron trails off, except he doesn’t need to finish the question.
“Go, Aaron. I take it you have some things you want to get off your chest,” Dave quips. “I’m going to call the others and give them an update. They’ve been waiting awhile.” He departs with a pat of encouragement on the back, a shared moment between them.
Moments later, he’s back in her room, at her side on the same uncomfortable chair from earlier. Her eyes flicker open once again, widening almost impossibly when she sees him. Years of unanswered questions are written on her face in seconds, a shared history fraught with more than what most people experience in a lifetime. But there’s something oddly content there too, as if she woke up from a dream that has somehow materialized in front of her.
“Hey,” Aaron says softly, reaching out with a nervous hand to touch her for the first time in years . He dodges wires and IV lines, finds her fingers with his own and gives a gentle squeeze. “You’re up.”
“You’re here?” Emily blinks with confusion, still making sense of just how she got there in the first place. “But I thought you were .. you and Jack are in Philadelphia. What are you doing here?”
“Of course I’m here,” he says soothingly, ignoring her question. They can talk about that later. “How are you feeling?”
Emily gives a wry grin, slightly distorted and weak, but there. “They asked me who the President of the United States was.”
It’s his turn to smirk. “What did you tell them?”
“To ask me after 45 leaves the Oval Office,” she says without hesitation. “I think I made at least two of them laugh.” But then something comes over her face, the reality of it all setting in. “You came all this way,” she croaks, throat raw from the intubation tube. “How did you know about all of this?”
“You were there for me, remember?” He’s not only talking about Foyet, but all the years she spent at his side. The years they spent doing a dance around one another,  their steps never quite aligning. This time feels like a second chance he never thought he’d get, one he can’t mess up.
“That was a lifetime ago, Aaron. So much has happened since then.” Emily tries to sit upright, pushes herself up about halfway before exhaustion overtakes her. She grumbles in frustration; he shouldn’t smile but he does. It means the Emily he knows, the Emily he fell in love with years ago is somewhere in there.
“Take it easy,” he soothes, adjusting the pillows so she’s more vertical than horizontal. He uses the opportunity to press a kiss against her forehead. He touches his own to hers and murmurs, “That’s something I should have done a long time ago.”
A smile spreads across her face, just as brilliant as the night he met her. She remembers it all, just as well as he does. “Funny how it always seems to take one of us dying to figure things out.”
“What are you talking about?” It’s a morbid thought, one he can’t entertain for long because despite his question, there’s an element of truth to it. He brushes some hair from her eyes and tucks it behind her ear. It’s matted in his fingers and dirty yet he doesn’t even notice. His heart swells, the hand in her hair trails down to her cheek, a thumb against the blush that spreads there. “And by the way, that’s not funny.”
“I’m saying maybe after I get out of this place,” she gestures to the mess of monitors and wires and tubes, “You can ask me out on a date. Finally.”
“Anywhere,” Aaron agrees. He would go anywhere, if it meant he could be with her.
“I know a place in Silver Spring. Supposedly they have the best apple pie in DC.”
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harryhandstan · 4 years ago
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I am so excited to finally be posting this for y’all! Thank you so much for all the hype and support it is very much appreciated. :) this is my piece for @goldenbluesuit​‘s Christmas Fic Challenge! my prompt was the song “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?” from the movie Frozen and I hope you all enjoy how I’ve incorporated it into my Dad!Harry series. You don’t necessarily have to read the other parts to understand this one, but I’ll link them below in case you want to re-visit them. 
I Want Your Belly ❄ Wonderful and Warm ❄ Washed Away in You 
Thank you to @tbslenthusiast​ and @heartbreakweatherharry​ for reading over this for me and giving me such amazing feedback! 
Word count: 2.3k
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You still couldn’t believe the little wonder that had been created by you and Harry existed to be yours. Things hadn’t been perfect, far from it, but it was definitely a new and fun adventure you were both eager and terrified of.
The first challenge presented was finding a name perfect enough to fit your son. He was alive for 24 hours before you discovered one you and Harry were absolutely sure of. Even seeing it written on his birth certificate made your heart swell with pride.
It’s your mother who asks first, “Well, are you two gonna make a formal announcement to the press before us grandparents get to know the name of our grandson?”
“Think we’ve made them wait long enough, Harry.”
He smiles at you from across the hospital room where he sits in a chair, the baby resting peacefully on his chest. You’re propped up in the bed, wrapped in the soft pink robe given to you by him just a few days ago. Anne sits nearby, a proud grin on her face at the sight of her baby with his.
His eyes dart from the baby to you, “You wanna tell them or shall I?”
“You tell them. You’re the one that found it, been bragging about it all day too.”
“Alright then,” He gently lifts the baby, turning him to where the whole room can see him, your son’s face now scrunched up by the light from the window shining on him, “Ladies, meet your grandson, Sterling Edward Styles.”
“Oh, you didn’t,” Anne giggles, reaching over to pat your leg, “You’ll never hear the end of it, love, letting him name the baby after himself.”
“Hey! S’her idea to give him my middle name. I picked the first,” His features switch from temporarily offended back to beaming, “Wanna tell ‘em what it means, darlin’?”
“Sterling means ‘starling’, or as Harry likes to call him..”
“Our little star.” 
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5 weeks later, your son certainly lives up to his name, charming everyone he meets. Sweet smiles and coos at strangers from his carrier when you’re at the grocery store or falling asleep in Auntie Gemma’s arms when she comes to visit. You were not surprised he already had his father’s charismatic ability to make everyone fall for him so quickly.
With Harry’s schedule as busy as it had been, it hadn’t been easy to adjust to life together as new parents. As much as he had tried to push things back or reschedule to have more time off with you, there was only so much that he was in control of and he was away from you and Sterling more than he liked.
So it’s no surprise when he comes home one evening and the space you share is mostly already decorated for the winter holidays. He smiles warmly to himself when he hears you singing along to the movie playing from the tv, peeks around the corner to see Sterling tucked away in his swing, his eyes open and bright. Your back is turned so you don’t hear Harry approaching, continuing to sing aloud as you work.
“We only have each other, it’s just you and me, what are we gonna dooooooo?” You spin around, expecting to only see Sterling watching you, yelping when you find Harry, giggling at the shock on your face.
He bends to look out the window, “Could be wrong, but I think you have to have snow to build a snowman, yeah?”
“You’re early! I wanted to surprise you,” You weave your way around boxes to greet him, “Left the tree for the 3 of us to do together though.”
“S’nice of you.” His hands remain in his pockets as you move closer, tired eyes looking down at you, lazy smile as you work your arms around his waist. He doesn’t make you wait long, freeing his hands from his pockets to wrap around you. 
He buries his face in your neck, “Missed you today.”
“We missed you too, H.”
He pulls back, turning to look down at Sterling, his arm still holding you close to his side, “He’s growing too fast. Can’t believe he’s already 5 weeks.”
“5 weeks and 3 days,” You remind him, “All the mommy blogs say we have an infant now.”
“S’that s’pose to mean? ‘Course he’s an infant.”
“Just means he’s growing out of his tiny baby stage.”
He directs his attention back to the movie playing, laughing as he teases you, “Least y’could’ve done is found a proper Christmas movie t’play while you put up decorations.”
You shrug, “It’s close enough to count. Plus he LOVES it. Think Elsa might be his favorite.”
He can’t resist anymore. As comfortable as his son may be swaying back and forth in his swing, he bends to scoop him up, one hand cradling behind his head and the other behind his back to easily support him. Sterling clearly doesn’t mind, a grin developing when he realizes who it is disturbing him.
“Don’t care what anyone says, bub. Y’ll always be daddy’s baby.”
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You never doubted Harry’s capacity to love his son, but you definitely questioned his expertise and knowledge of the basics of caring for a child. He had become somewhat experienced now, tackling late night diaper changes and early morning feedings or anything else in between without complaint when he could. 
Though he had done great, you were never too far away that you couldn’t offer assistance when he needed it. So when he gets a rare day off and suggests you let him stay home with the baby while you run errands, you’re hesitant.  
“Do ya not trust me?”
“Of course I do. You know I do. I just don’t want you to get overwhelmed.”
“S’just for a few hours, right? You can write out a list of his schedule if it makes y’feel better.”
Sterling’s stretched across your lap, dozing off while you try to finish the last of your breakfast. Harry stands at the counter, drinking coffee out of a bright pink mug. You look between your almost sleeping son and then back up to Harry, chewing a bite of toast as you contemplate the idea.
He doesn’t take offense to your hesitation, quite the opposite actually. He adores the sight of you, Sterling’s face squished against your chest; one of his hands tucked under his chin, the other wrapped around your side, his little fist holding tight to your t-shirt. It’s the purest form of love in his eyes, to see the bond between mother and son grow and deepen with each day. Makes him reminiscent of his connection with his own mother, fills his heart with so much joy knowing he had chosen someone that would give his son the same sweet upbringing he had.
He makes his way back around the counter to you, a hand resting on the top of Sterling’s head as he bends down to kiss the top of yours. He moves his hand, repeating the act of affection to the top of the baby’s head. 
“Really proud of you, y’know that right, baby? Been so amazing watching you take care of yourself and our little boy, never doubted for a second you were meant for this, but it’s been more incredible than I could’ve ever imagined.”
“Proud of you too, H. Know you’ve had a lot of guilt about being gone, but Sterling and I love you so much. He already lights up at the sound of your voice when you FaceTime us from set, and I see the way he grins at you before he falls asleep when you’re here to tuck him in at night.” 
His eyes meet yours, sees the moment you make your decision to say yes, deep exhale of warm breath trapped between the two of you, “You have to promise to call if anything happens, if you need anything at all. Don’t care how small it is.” He nods firmly, further setting your mind at ease, “He should sleep most of the time I’m gone, but I’ll prepare another bottle just in case I can’t get back in time.”
You feel silly for feeling so protective, and you were thankful to have Harry as your partner on this journey. His patience and support had been more than generous, covering you and Sterling in more love and adoration than you’d ever known could exist from one person. He kisses you again, on your lips this time, a hand cupping one side of your face before gently lifting Sterling from your arms, shushing and bouncing him a bit when he starts to whimper from the sudden change in his comfortable position.
“S’okay, bubs. Daddy’s got you, g’nna have us a lil’ boys day while mumma’s gone.” 
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You rush through whatever tasks you had scheduled that seemed so important that morning. Suddenly the groceries you needed and last minute presents you were dropping off at the post office to mail to out of town family didn’t matter, nothing did but getting back home to your boys.
It’s quiet when you shut the door behind you, almost too quiet. As much as you always prayed he would, Sterling never slept through his morning nap, so you’re surprised at the possibility of him still sleeping peacefully. Not that he was old enough to make too much noise yet, but still the silence worries you enough that you don’t even take the time to put away the groceries. You set the bags on the kitchen counter, making your way through the house to the living room first.
All your concern fades at the sight of Harry on the couch, Sterling snuggled in his arms with his back pressed against Harry’s front, his little body covered in a red and white striped onesie with a reindeer on the front, matching pair of green socks on his tiny feet. It’s such a comforting image, you once again question why you had any doubt at the thought of leaving the two of them alone. Harry hasn’t noticed your presence yet, or if he has he hasn’t said anything, and you’re content to keep it that way for a few more minutes to observe the vision set before you.
You notice the movie that’s playing, it’s the same one from a few nights ago that Harry teased you for. You cross your arms, quirking one eyebrow upwards before you repeat Harry’s words from that night out loud, “Boys day, huh? Could’ve at least found a proper Christmas movie to watch while I was gone.”
“I’ve decided you’re right, it does count. I can see why he loves it so much.” He looks up at you from where you lean over back of the couch now, a soft “hi” falling from his lips, tilting his head up to accept the kiss you offer. Sterling coos, and when you look down, he’s looking up at you too. 
“Mommy missed you too, baby boy.”
“Come sit with us, lovie, watch the rest of the movie.”
“Gimme a minute to put the groceries away and I will.”
“I’ll pause it and come help.”
“No, stay,” You run your hand through his hair, pushing the curls away from his face, “There’s not that much, I got it.”
You work swiftly to put everything away, taking a minute to change back into your pajamas before you rejoin them, curling yourself against Harry’s side under his free arm. Sterling’s dozing again, most likely falling into a milk coma from the bottle he had just finished, but it doesn’t stop the two of you from continuing to watch the same movie together. You offer to take Sterling or put him in his swing, but he just shakes his head no, clinging tighter to him and you.
“S’my favorite part, this song.”
“What? It’s the saddest one. Elsa and Anna’s parents die in this one.” 
He shrugs, careful not to shuffle Sterling and disturb his sleep, “Maybe, but s’catchy, gets stuck in my head more than the others.” 
He begins humming along to the intro music, nudging you softly to persuade you to start singing along with the character on the screen. You sit up, dramatically clearing your throat before you do. Harry knows more of the words than he cares to admit, but would rather hear the lyrics sung by you. He giggles at you as you even change your voice to mimic the silly parts.
“It gets a little lonely. All these empty rooms. Just watching the hours tick by…”
Harry provides the tick-tock part, clicking his tongue off-tune to the ones playing in the song. That’s enough to make you laugh out loud, temporarily forgetting the sleeping baby now resting on Harry’s chest. He shushes you playfully, his body shaking through his own laughter thankfully soothing Sterling enough that he doesn’t wake up.
You compose yourself as the song turns slow and mournful, tucking yourself back to Harry’s side again. His hand works around to cup your waist, squeezing lightly to pull you closer, the vibrations of him humming along again a comforting rumble against your body. His voice is quiet, barely above a whisper as he sings the last notes of the song.
“We only have each other. It's just you and me. What are we gonna doooooo?”
Your eyes scan the whole of the room. Your boys nestled together next to you, the tree in the corner of the room the 3 of you had decorated together a few days before, the pile of presents that had already accumulated underneath it. You spot your favorite ornament, a silver star with Sterling’s full name engraved on the front, “Baby’s First Christmas” etched on the back. Sterling’s first present from your family sent from home. Well, what used to be your home for the holidays. A smile spreads across your face at the simple happiness and realization that this is your home now. 
Harry, Sterling, and you; sun, moon, and star, spending your first holiday together.
 //
Thank you all for reading! As always likes/rbs/and comments are more than welcome. Tell me what you think here!
tag list: @taintedwonder​, @cock-a-doodely-doo
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bopbopstyles · 4 years ago
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ROSE COLORED GLASSES: PART ONE
SERIES RATING: R (cursing, smoking, alcohol use, violence, PTSD, and sex)
WORD COUNT: 19.5k (long boi)
CATEGORIES: boxer!Harry, gang/mob!Harry, 1920s!Harry, Peaky Blinders!Harry (?)
As the daughter of the most powerful man in Birmingham, there were expectations of Cicely King: an advantageous marriage to save her father’s business, for one. But Cicely had never been one to follow orders. So when she woke up after an accident in the home of Harry Styles, the illusive boxer, she took it as an opportunity to escape her life. What she didn’t intend on was falling in love with him.
MASTERLIST | INSPO TAG | PART TWO
a/n: IT’S HERE!!!! Cicely and Harry dropped into my head and have lived in there rent free ever since. strap yourselves in for a ride, my friends! this story is hugely inspired by Peaky Blinders, and i willingly admit that characters and elements of the story resemble parts of PB, including Cicely’s appearance (Grace). thank you @hsogolden for making this beautiful banner,  and thank you to @bfharry @harrysclementines​ @stellarboystyles and @havethetimeofyourstyles for beta reading this, ilysm!
historical notes: i’ve got a couple of things to alert the public of for this story. 1. this story is set in Balsall Heath, Birmingham, UK in 1920 or so, and i did as much research as possible on the area, but it is by no means all accurate. imagery and descriptions of the neighborhood are largely my own. 2. Church Hulme was the name of Holmes Chapel until 1974, so it is used in this story. 3. The Magnificent Ambersons is an actual book that was a bestseller in 1918. you can read it here. 
without further adieu, here is part one of ROSE COLORED GLASSES - come talk to me about it in my asks! pls reblog and share with your friends 💕✨
The cool spring air swept around Cicely like a cloud, the hem of her skirt ruffling in the wind. She was miles from home, the landscape around her having turned to just rolling hills of green, just the way she liked it. Here, she could finally breathe. At home, all she could smell was fear and secrets, while here, out in the open, she was anyone and everyone. It was just her and Joseph, her beloved horse, on the empty road.
Father had told her it was going to rain when Cicely pushed her way out of the house, stomping away from him in anger at the news he had given to her, but she hadn’t given it a second thought. She loved rain, loved being caught in it and getting drenched, not minding the weight of the water on her skin. If anything, it made her finally feel something, even if it was cold. In hindsight, she probably should’ve thought twice about going out so far in the rain, Joseph being a bit skittish as he got older, but now here she was, having ridden over halfway between her estate and the city, and she could feel the droplets falling onto her blond coiffed hair that her maid, Polly, had done this morning.
She sighed and looked up at the sky—it was grey and angry, the wind swirling around her. It was going to be a downpour, she suspected. Joseph stopped when she pulled on the reins, and she considered whether she should turn for home or find somewhere to ride out the storm. It seemed to be coming soon, after all. She glanced around and there was just open space of hills and trees, but none large enough to provide any sort of suitable protection. Plus, she was closer to the city than home, anyways, so maybe it was better to just keep on going the direction she was heading. She could stay with friends in town if need be.
So she dug in her heels and Joseph continued, her urging him to go faster as the rain began to come down harder around her. It was like a curtain, the combination of the rain and the dark skies making it hard to see very far in front of her. The water licked down her face, and her chiffon blouse was sticking to her skin, the one her maid had made her promise not to get dirty, as it had just been mended for the second time. But she could make no promises—it was her favorite one, after all. And now, it would most definitely be ruined as dirt road beneath her turned to mud and it splattered Joseph and her clothes. She held fast though, wishing now more than ever that her father let her wear the new fashionable pants to let her ride more easily because side saddle was simply not cutting it at the speeds she was urging Joseph to achieve.
All of a sudden, a crack rang through the clouds, bolts of lightening littering the path far ahead. But the sound was enough for her to tense and Joseph to whinny, his front legs leaving the ground, her hold on the reins slipping as she was thrown from the saddle.
The last thing she remembered was the sight of Joseph taking off into the rain, saddle empty and reins flying around his body.
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Harry could barely see in the storm, the downpour causing sheets of rain to fall on the windshield, his vision completely obscured. So he inched along as slowly as he could without endangering his ability to drive—or the car, since it was a gift from Josiah—and kept the headlights on full blast. He was exhausted after a weekend of fights in the town over, ones that left his body aching in ways he preferred to ignore. But he had a pocket full of earnings and he knew Josiah would be happy with that, so he paid it no mind.
He was running through the fights, thinking about the missteps and wrong moves he had made, spots for improvements, when he saw a girl lying down on her back in the mud a few feet in front of the car. He slammed on the brakes immediately. What the fuck was a girl doing out in a storm like this? When she didn’t move as he sat in the car, surveying the scene, he couldn’t help but wonder if she was dead. It wouldn’t be the first time someone had been killed on a road, left there to be found by the next car.
Slowly, he pulled himself out of the car, lifting his hand to shield the rain from his face. “Miss?” He called into the storm, eyes drifting over her body. She looked well to-do—her blouse seemed to be some type of lace material that the girls he knew were always fawning over, skirts bright and recently washed. What was she doing out here, alone and in the mud? And how had she gotten there?
He took a few paces closer to her, and she didn’t make a move when he brushed the hair away from her face. Hesitantly, he leaned down, an ear to her mouth to see if she was breathing—which she was, to his relief. She must be unconscious, although he could only begin to imagine how she had gotten that way. But Harry wasn’t the type to leave a young woman in need, alone on a dirt road in the middle of a storm. So he bent down, slid his aching arms under her body, and lifted her from the mud, cradling her against his chest as he walked back to the car.
She fit perfectly on his back seat when he tucked her knees in closer to her chest, blond hair draped over the seat. He grabbed his coat from the passenger side and draped it over her body, her skin cold to the touch from the rain. The thought crossed his mind of where he should take her—the police, perhaps? Or maybe a hospital? But Harry hated both of those establishments after years with Josiah. Plus, if she needed any protection, in town it was best if it came from Josiah anyway. The police were useless, a bunch of pompous assholes too big for their britches, Harry thought. And a hospital, Harry believed, was where people went to die not where they went to be healed. So he decided to take her to his flat, despite the fact that the prospect went against most principles he was raised on.
Although, everything Harry did went against his childhood principles.
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When she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was green peeling wallpaper. It wasn’t a wallpaper she recognized, and as she came to, looking around the room, she realized this was definitely not a place she had been before. Her heart seized as she inspected her surroundings. She was in a wire-frame double bed, a red duvet cover pulled around her shoulders, a soft light coming in the heavy curtains against a small window in the middle of the room. Clothes littered the floor—men’s clothes, from what she could tell—and a rug sat in the middle of the room amidst the chaos. An ashtray and the butts of cigarettes laid on the bedside table next to her, as well as a glass of water. Maybe it was a stupid choice, but her throat was raw and so she took the glass, gulping down the water without a second thought.
Faintly, she could hear the sound of a whistle. Tea, she realized. Someone was making tea.
Which meant she was not alone.
Her hands dove under the covers, inspecting the clothes on her body. Everything was still intact, her green skirt and the lace blouse she had put on,  every button done up exactly as she had left it. She didn’t have her shoes on, but on closer inspection, they laid on the ground next to the bed, but her stockings were still clipped to her garter at least. A sigh left her mouth at the prospect of some semblance of safety in this foreign place.
She tried to remember what had happened last—she had been riding through a storm after a fight with her father. Then, there was a bolt of lightning, she thought to herself, piecing together the memories in her fuzzy brain, and then remembered Joseph bucking her from the saddle. She couldn’t keep herself on, so she let go, knowing that was better than being dragged along. The last thing she remembered was Joseph riding away, her lying in what she believed to be mud.
Which would explain the brown marks all over her clothes.
Polly was going to kill her for the stains.
The whistle she had heard earlier suddenly stopped, and she heard the thud of something. Then, a soft hum of a song she recognized from the gramophone her father had in the sitting room. After a few beats, she heard the sound of footsteps on the wood floors, the creak of the footsteps growing closer and closer. Someone was coming. She was going to finally discover who had picked her up off of the road and where she was—hopefully it was some nice old lady and she was in their son’s room.
But instead, a boy about her age stopped in the doorway, a cup of tea in his hand, wide eyes at the sight of her sitting up in bed. His brown hair was tousled in soft curls across his forehead, and just trousers, a shirt, and suspenders adorned his body, his feet bare. His shirt sleeves were pushed up and she could see tattoos on his arms, something she had never seen in person before, just in photographs and magazines.
He was, she thought to herself as he stood there in shock, quite handsome.
“You’re awake,” he finally said, voice croaking in his throat. “I—uh, sorry, would you like a cuppa?”
Cicely considered the question for only a beat before nodding. He seemed nice enough, judging solely from his embarrassed reaction to the croaky sound of his voice. The boy disappeared and she waited patiently in the bed, flexing her toes to bring some feeling back into her limbs. She wondered how much time had passed—it seemed to be daylight out, so maybe not much time at all.
The boy returned, a second tea cup balanced in his other hand, his face more serious and put together than before. “Here you are,” he said, making his way over to her, his presence instantly changing the feeling of the room. Before, it was small, but not too small. Now, with his large frame and dark eyes, it seemed as if all the oxygen had been sucked out of the space.
“Thank you,” she replied, accepting the cup with cold hands. It was chilly in the room, probably from the draft coming in from the windows and her skirt which was still a bit damp in spots. The tea, though, was delicious on her tongue, plain, just how she liked it.
The boy grabbed a chair from the corner of the room and pulled it over to the edge of the bed before sitting down, eyes darting between the tea cup and her face. “I’m Harry, by the way.”
“Cicely.” She took another sip of the tea before resting it on her lap. “Is this your flat?”
“Yes,” Harry said, eyes glancing around the room. “My room too—sorry about that. It’s just me here, so I didn’t have anywhere else to put ya.”
So no wife or family then, Cicely thought, filing the information away for later. It was interesting, a boy of his age living alone. He must have moved away from home and made decent enough wages to get a place of his own, she decided, eyes fluttering around the room to see if she could pick up on any other clues about him. But she couldn’t find anything. “How did I get here?” She asked after leaving them in silence for a few moments, the curiosity getting the better of her.
Harry placed his teacup on the nightstand as he spoke, eyes avoiding hers. “Found ya in the road in the rain. Cold as ice and unconscious, all covered in mud. Didn’t want to leave ya out there, so I brought you here—thought I could take you home once you came to and all that. Call your husband.” He added the last sentence as an afterthought, and Cicely couldn’t help but smile internally at the thought of him thinking she was married.
Which she wasn’t. At least, not yet. And not for a while, if she had any choice in the matter. “No husband,” she informed him, thumbs brushing over the duvet. “How long have I been out for?”
He pulled his lip into his mouth and Cicely didn’t know if she had ever seen something so enticing. “Almost a day.”
A day? God, her father would have her head. He probably thought she was dead after she didn’t come home. Although it wouldn’t be the first time she had let him think that, her flair for escaping after an argument a reoccurring personality trait that her father despised. Which of course, was exactly why she did it. “I hope I wasn’t a bother,” she said, tucking her hair behind her ear.
Harry shook his head, and Cicely studied his face, the sharp angle of his jaw, the high rise of his cheekbones. He had a bit of scruff around his lips, which looked soft and pink and she tried not to think about what they would feel like. Cicely didn’t usually pay men all that much mind—sure she noticed them, but did she study every feature on their faces like she did Harry? No. She was intrigued by him, the rings on his fingers and the tattoos on his arms, the way he licked across his bottom lip. And perhaps that was why Cicely made no mention of needing to go, or that she should call her family.
“Are ya hungry?” Harry asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.
At the concept of food, suddenly her stomach grumbled and she blushed, embarrassed at the sound, but Harry didn’t even react to it. “Yes, actually.”
He stood immediately, wiping his palms on his trousers as he did so. “I don’t have much here,” he said, taking their empty tea cups with him as she walked towards the door. “But I’ll put something together.” She watched him, unsure if he wanted her to follow. She was a bit curious as to what the rest of the flat looked like, she had to admit. “Ya comin’?”
Cicely scrambled to follow him, her stocking-clad feet nestling into the rug by his bed. Her skirt was crinkled from sleep and she straightened it as much as possible before sighing and exiting the room and into the hall. When he turned down a set of stairs, she realized that what she thought to be a flat was actually a little townhouse. When she reached the base of the stairs, she found that the rest of the home wasn’t much—dimly lit, only one other window in what seemed to be a small sitting room and a kitchen. A table was pushed to the side, two chairs tucked into it, a plate with crumbs on it sat on one side. The green wallpaper from the bedroom covered all of the walls of the home, and when she looked around, she saw a noticeable absence of most personal effects. He had only one photo up on the side table next to the couch, of what Cicely assumed was his family. Next to it laid another ashtray, a pack of cigarettes, an empty whiskey glass.
At the sound of a plate on the counter she turned to see Harry placing a slice of bread on a plate and tenderly spreading jam across it. Cicely tried to imagine her father even entering a kitchen and she had trouble with the idea, while here was Harry making her a slice of toast. The thought was actually quite endearing, despite the fact that Harry had not once smiled at her.
“Thank you,” she said when he set the plate down on the table, grabbing the dirty one and taking it to the washbasin in the corner. Harry didn’t reply, so she took a bite. The jam wasn’t quite as good as what she was used to and the bread was a tad bit stale, but it was food all the same, and she didn’t mind all that much. As she ate, she watched Harry wash the plate, dry it with a dishrag, and place it back in a cabinet that held a few dishes.
He turned around when he was done, eyes trained on her with an intensity she was beginning to grow accustomed to from him. “I have work in a bit. Can I drop you someplace before that?”
Should he? Yes. Did she want him to? Not in the slightest. She pushed away the plate, and tried to figure out how to say this. “Would it be a bother if I stayed?”
Harry blinked at her a few times, his face finally changing from the usual intense stare that he gave her to one that was more curious in nature. “Is home not safe for ya?”
Cicely tried to decide whether or not she should lie to him. He seemed kind, generous, probably understanding, despite his inability to speak to her for very long periods of time without stretches of silence. Maybe he would understand that her desire not to go home wasn’t because home wasn’t safe, but because the life that was waiting for her was one she despised. So, she decided not to lie, but not to tell all of the truth. “No, it is. I’m just not eager to go back right now.”
“Oh.” Harry twisted a large gold H ring around one of his fingers, contemplating her words, before looking back up at her. “If ya want to stay, ya can. Know what it’s like to wanna hide for a bit.” Before she could request more information, he came towards her, snatching the plate and taking it back to the sink. He seemed to be awfully set on a clean kitchen, despite the messy state of his room. “You’ll have to come with me tonight, then.” He still had his back to her, so she couldn’t study his face as he said the words that piqued her interest.
Most girls would have probably requested to stay home, but Cicely wasn’t most girls. “Ok,” she replied, pushing back the chair. “Could I—uh—wash up somewhere?” The prospect of a bath sounded utterly delectable, although on second thought, she didn’t expect him to have a bath quite like the one she had at home.
Harry whirled around, eyes looking everywhere but her. “Yes. Um, there’s a basin in the washroom. Don’t have the water for a full bath right now, but…”
Cicely realized what he was so flustered about—he was embarrassed. Perhaps he had realized that her social station was a bit higher than his, that in her home they didn’t have to go fetch water somewhere, that she could have a bath relatively whenever she liked. And when she did it, someone else filled it for her. “That’s fine. I’ll manage.” She stood and made her way towards the washroom, following his directions, and shut herself inside. It was dark in there too—far less than she was used to. A silver bathtub was on one wall, and a smaller basin on a pedestal, a toilet in the corner. It was simple, bare bones, but she didn’t mind too much. Her father had put in running water when she was an infant, so she had never washed without it, but she decided it wasn’t too much of a change.
Quickly, she undressed, making sure the door was locked, and hung her clothing over the lip of the bath so it didn’t touch the floor. She took a rag and dipped it into the water, exhaling softly at the feeling of the cool water on her skin. There was some mud on her skin from when she had fallen, although she thought that perhaps Harry had washed some of it off—there wasn’t quite as much as she thought. A small mirror allowed her to wash the crust of mud from her forehead, and by the end of her washing she felt rejuvenated, even if it wasn’t a proper bath. Slowly, she slipped back on her clothes and considered for a moment the idea that she might need to purchase some more. Her clothes were stained from the mud, and she imagined she wouldn’t quite be able to get it out.
Although it would’ve been convenient, she didn’t imagine Harry had extra ladies clothes lying around for just this purpose.
She ruffled her hair slightly, the curls unfortunately having dropped for the most part, and sighed before letting herself out of the washroom. “Harry?” Cicely asked, turning the corner into the kitchen, where he stood, holding a glass of what she thought was a whiskey, a cigarette between his lips. “You wouldn’t happen to have a set of ladies’ clothes lying about, would you?”
Harry furrowed his brow before taking the cigarette from between his lips. “No—why?”
Cicely gestured at her stained clothes. “Mine are a bit dirty, and I wouldn’t want to wear them to your place of work like this.”
The chuckle that left Harry’s lips surprised Cicely in more ways than one. One, that he was laughing at all, for she didn’t find it to be a laughing matter. She didn’t want to make a bad impression to whoever his employer was, especially if she was going to have to be there. Second, his laugh was sweet, syrupy, one that rocked his shoulders, and made her heart flutter in a way she wasn’t used to. “You wouldn’t want to wear your Sunday best to my place of work, love,” he told her, tapping his cigarette in an ashtray on the table. “You’re fine the way ya are, but we can track down some clothes for ya tomorrow.”
Where would he work where her appearance would be adequate? But rather than question him, she just nodded. “Well, I’m ready,” she told him.
“Gimme a mo’,” he told her, tucking his cigarette back between his lips before heading out of the room. Cicely decided to check out the sitting room a bit more, investigate the people in the sole photograph in the whole home. She picked up the photograph and studied it, a man, woman, and young woman, probably a few years older than Harry, stood outside of a family home, a younger Harry nestled between them. It was curious to see him younger, his face less defined, an obvious softness to his facial features. But what stuck out to her the most was the uniform he wore.
He had been in the war. Of course. Her father had avoided it because of a years old injury to his leg, although she had secretly always throught he had gotten his doctor to make it seem more severe than it actually was. Many of the men her parents had set her up with, including the horrid one they were currently trying to force her to marry, were in the war, but when she asked them about it, they only talked about their medals, heroism, the beauty of France’s countryside. But she also knew most of them had been officers, their social ranks earning them a certain level of protection, and she couldn’t help but wonder what it had been like for Harry who had none of those privileges.
Footsteps came from behind her and she turned, dropping the photograph back to the table when she saw Harry in the hall watching her. He had changed while she was looking at the photo, a charcoal jacket over his shirt, a pin with a J on it buttoned to the lapel that she thought was a bit curious. He had a bag over his shoulder, and she wondered what was inside. “You were in the war,” she said, not acknowledging his appearance.
“Just like everyone else,” he replied, his response a stark departure from how the men she knew would’ve replied. “Come on, we’re goin’ to be late.” She followed him out, wishing she had a hat or a small purse with her at the very least, but she had nothing but her dirty clothes and scuffed boots.
When they stepped onto the street, the sight of a wide and long street, row houses lining each side met her gaze. They were in working class Birmingham, she thought to herself as Harry locked the door behind him. Most men would’ve made to put their arm through hers, but not Harry—he just began walking, letting her catch up to him, struggling to keep pace with his longer legs. His bag swung at his side as they walked, and Cicely took in their surroundings, the silence stretching between them. It was dusk and women were calling their children inside, the games of football on the street breaking up. Two young children squabbled until their mothers separated them, tugging their little hands inside. Doors shut behind them and Cicely snuck a glance at Harry. His eyes were trained on the ground in front of him, most likely adjusted to their surroundings.
He didn’t want to talk, she understood from his body language, and she decided in a choice completely against her normal mannerisms, not to push him.
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Cicely didn’t know what she expected from Harry’s place of work, but it was definitely not a boxing ring in an empty warehouse. She could hear the shouts and laughter of men from outside, and she had looked at Harry with confusion written all over her face when they approached the warehouse, but she followed him inside anyways. The smell of stale beer and sweat overwhelmed her immediately, and she had to squint in the darkness of the entryway. The ring had some lights rigged up around it, some chairs around it, but it was by no means someplace fancy.
So this was what Harry had meant by her not wanting to wear her Sunday best.
“You work…here?” She asked, turning to Harry, who stood beside her, watching her take in the surroundings. He nodded, offering no additional information. “And you box?” Another nod. “Is this legal?”
That’s when he gave another one of his chuckles, and then under his breath he said, “Doesn’t need to be, love. Josiah McClemmons runs it.”
Cicely may not live in Birmingham proper, but that didn’t mean she didn’t know who Josiah McClemmons was. Everyone did. He basically ruled Birmingham, especially the working class neighborhoods, having built up his stronghold there. Her father complained about him at least once a week, about the violence and bloodshed in the city where his garment factories were. Although, Cicely had always thought to herself, her father probably shouldn’t complain too much because a dead husband meant a wife who had to work to feed her children, which meant a larger workforce for her father.
From the way Harry was greeted, Cicely assumed he was the reigning champion, the usual fighter here. Which meant that he was probably McClemmons’s payroll, if she had to extrapolate. “Do you work for McClemmons?” She asked when the few men who had come up to them walked away.
Harry adjusted the bag over his shoulder, and then nodded. “Could say that.” His eyes darted around the establishment, taking in the sight, before resting back on her. “C’mon, I’ve got to get changed and don’t want ya waitin’ out here.” He ushered her over to a man standing against a wall who wore a J pin on his lapel like Harry, which she now realized stood for Josiah’s name, a brand of who they worked for. “Tommy,” he said, the man’s gaze turning and settling on them. “This is Cicely. Keep an eye on her while I change?”
Tommy stood up straight immediately and when he took her hand in his and pressed a kiss to it, Cicely couldn’t help but smile. “Pleasure to meet such a beautiful lady,” Tommy said to her, a wink gracing across his face.
When she turned to speak to Harry, he was already gone, a few paces away towards a door. “Is he good?” She asked Tommy, turning back to her new acquaintance.
Tommy’s eyes widened. “The best,” he informed her before taking a sip from a mug of what she assumed was beer. “You’re in for a treat if you’ve never seen ‘im fight ‘fore.”
Cicely agreed, the prospect of a sweaty Harry in the ring a bit more enticing than she perhaps wanted to admit. She was able to get some information on Harry out of Tommy, the combination of a pretty girl and a mug of beer not a combination meant for secrecy. He fought with Josiah McClemmons’s youngest brother in the war, the experience making them nearly brothers, and came back to Birmingham with them. No one knew where Harry was from, but people had a number of guesses, everything from London to Liverpool. Apparently before the war he had been learning to fight, and the war sharpened his skills, so when they came back it seemed natural that Josiah would use the rings as a way to make money, using Harry as his prized fighter.
She couldn’t help but think it made Harry sound a bit like the Spanish bulls she had learned about in a magazine, a caged animal. But Tommy assured her Harry loved it when she asked, so she tried to put her mind at ease.
“Who is he fighting?” She asked Tommy after refusing his offer for a beer of her own.
“Peters—a local bloke,” Tommy replied. “Harry’s expected to win.”
Cicely gathered as much from the grumblings of his name that she could hear when the betting started, money flying in the air. It was fascinating to her, and she thought that she also fascinated the men—she was the only woman in the room and she tried not to squirm against the wall she leaned against.
But then, she heard a cry go up, and Harry’s opponent came out of a door, trailed by two men. “He’s massive,” she told Tommy as she watched the man walk to the ring.
Tommy grunted in response. “Harry’s fast, though.”
She hoped he was fast enough. Peters crested the ring, pushing himself between the ropes. One of his men handed him some gloves and Cicely watched as he pulled them on, his massive chest glistening under the gas lighting.
All of a sudden, a louder cry sounded, whoops and hollers of Harry’s name, and her gaze flickered to the door she had last seen him go into. There he was, walking towards the ring, a determined look set on his face. Tattoos littered his body and Cicely realized the few she had seen were a mere teasing of the real deal. And seeing Harry without a shirt on, his broad shoulders and narrow waist, tanned skin in the light, she couldn’t help but think he was even more attractive than she had thought.
A man helped Harry into the ring, and when he stood up, she caught sight of tape covering where his nipples should be. What in the world? She turned to Tommy and pointed at Harry. “What is the tape for?”
Tommy guffawed immediately, beer sloshing in his mug. “He’s got ‘em pierced.”
“What?”
She expected Tommy to tell her he was joking, but instead he nodded. “Got ‘em done durin’ the war, apparently. Some dare from his mates. Now he’s gotta have ‘em taped up or they’ll get ripped out.”
Cicely truly didn’t have the words for a response to that. She turned back to the ring, eyes set on the two pieces of tape over each of his nipples, entranced by the idea of them being pierced. She had heard rumors from her friends of ladies getting them done, but men? Why on earth would they want them done? She had never understood it on women, but the prospect of them on men completely confounded her imagination. Although, her best friend had told her it made them more sensitive, so perhaps that worked on men as well.
The thought was tantalizing at the very least.
“Sure ya don’t want a beer, love?” Tommy asked.
She had grown to quite like his company. He was a bit crude, but for some reason she liked that he didn’t treat her like she was made of glass like most of the men she knew. Her gaze darted between Harry, standing in the ring, and Tommy’s mug. “You know what? Sure.”
Tommy beamed. He was overjoyed at the idea, and Cicely was as well. She had never actually had beer before, just sips of champagne and wine here and there when she snuck it from her parents or during parties. But nothing as normal as beer—she didn’t even think her father drank it, to be honest. Perhaps that was why the idea was so exciting to her. Tommy left her on her own for a few minutes and she tried not to let the stares that still lingered on her bother her. Instead, she watched Harry, listened to the announcer, some chap in a jacket and askew flat cap, read out their names and weights. The part about Harry being the reigning champion stuck with her.
Cicely had never seen a boxing match before. Sure, she had heard of them, but actually been to one in person? Never. And much less one that was definitely illegal and held in a warehouse, a bunch of drunk men betting and still in their work uniforms. It made her heart race and she liked the feeling—usually she just got it when she rode Joseph, who she hoped had gone home to her estate.
“Here ya are.” Tommy had reappeared, a full mug of beer in his other hand for her. “Got ya somethin’ my sister likes.”
Cicely took the mug. It was heavy, heavier than she was expecting. Would she even be able to drink it all? She stared at the murky brown liquid, the foam on top, and then up at Tommy who she could tell was stifling a laugh. Fuck it, she thought. And took a long sip. It wasn’t as bad as she expected. Sour, sure, but it was also refreshing. A bit heavy, and considering she had only eaten some toast today, that wasn’t a negative thing. “It’s not bad,” she told Tommy, who gave her a grin in response.
She was about to say something else when she heard a bell sound—she had been so focused she had missed the start of the match. Whirling around, the first thing she saw was Peters’ arm fly through the air. The breath knocked from her chest at the possibility of Harry getting hit, but to her pleasant surprise he ducked it completely, feet helping him to move away from his attacker. The crowd cheered and Cicely took another sip, the action of having the drink in her hand helping calm her nerves as she watched Harry dance around Peters, ducking at every punch. She could see the frustration in Peters’ eyes, and the focus in Harry’s eyes making her scream out his name along with the men in the room.
She could feel Tommy’s eyes on her as she did it. She didn’t even need to look at him to know that surprise was written all over his face. If Cicely was going to be at a boxing match for the first time in her life, drinking her first beer, she was going to enjoy it. And watching Harry take a swing—and make contact—at Peters was exactly the excuse she needed to scream his name again.
The match passed quickly, and by the end of it Cicely had reached the end of her beer and her and Tommy were laughing at the fear in Peters’ eyes as Harry’s punches landed. He was winning by a long shot, and she had to admit, she was proud. During the whole match she had barely been able to take her eyes off of him, gaze trained on the sweat dripping down his cut body, his broad shoulders and tattooed skin glistening. His hair was stuck to his forehead and neck with sweat, and for some reason she had the innate desire to twirl it off of his forehead and see what he did.
She also desperately wanted to see his nipples without the tape.
Desperately.
He was beautiful in the ring, his steps almost like choreography she had learned as a child to all of the dances she had to know for parties. Except Harry looked like a natural up there, his body moving before Peters made the move, as if he could read his opponent’s mind, his reflexes faster than anything she had ever seen before. She had a million questions for him the minute he stepped out of the ring, but the first thing she wanted to was clean the blood off of his body—blood which was a mixture of Harry’s and Peters’.
The end of the match happened so quickly that Cicely barely caught it. One minute, Harry was boxed into a corner, his arms up to protect his face, and the next, he was throwing a powerful punch to Peters’ face, the sound of bone crunching at Peters hit the ground so loud she could hear it over the men yelling in the ring. The announcer counted and she watched Harry’s chest rise and fall, his breathing ragged. Everyone else was staring at Peters, but her eyes were glued on Harry. And then, his lifted to her, their sight lines catching from across the room, and she could’ve sworn she saw him smile at her.
As much as she wanted to rush to the side of the ring as many people did, she waited where she was. She knew Harry would come find her eventually, since she was sleeping in his home, as weird as that sounded in her brain. So she turned to Tommy while she waited, her bones feeling light in her body. “He’s good,” she said, her words slightly slurring. Huh. That was weird.
“Told ya!” Tommy replied, taking her mug from her. “Forgot to ask you, love, how do you know our fighter?”
Her eyes trailed across the room to Harry, who she noticed was making his way towards them, a towel draped around his neck. “He saved me,” she said, watching his body flex as he moved. And her words were true, but in that moment she didn’t know quite how true they were. Only later, would she look back on the moment she met Harry and consider how he had changed her life by picking her lifeless body up on that dirt road in the middle of a storm.
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Harry had fought the desire to look at Cecily throughout the match, and now that he was done he couldn’t stop. She looked so relaxed, leaned against the wall with Tommy laughing, her blond hair messy and her eyes bright. It was if his feet were carrying him towards her without a second thought, weaving through the crowd of sweaty drunk men in pursuit of the girl made of light. The closer he got, though, the more he noticed how she stumbled on her feet, how rosy her cheeks were, how loud she laughed.
Fuck.
Tommy had gone and gotten her drunk. Tommy might have been Harry’s friend, but that didn’t make him the smartest bloke in a room.
As he reached them, she took an uneasy step and Harry was there immediately. His hands fit around Cicely’s waist like it was the place he belonged, the lingering smell of perfume in his nostrils before he could clear the fog of his mind. “Ya okay, love?” The words slipped from his mouth, the pet name he had never called a single woman before just finding his way into his speech, as if his brain knew that she was special. He sure thought so.
Cicely turned her head, her gaze catching his and a smile broke across her face. “Harry! You were incredible!”
“Thank you,” he replied, gingerly removing his hands despite the fact that all he wanted was to hold onto her hips for the rest of time. “Tommy, did you give her beer?”
“He did,” Cicely answered instead, a hiccup escaping her mouth. She rushed to cover her lips, a blush creeping across her cheeks at the sound. “It was quite tasty.”
“I’ll bet,” Harry said, giving Tommy a hard look that Tommy only shrugged at. “I’ve got to change and get you home,” he told her, processing the situation here. Although he trusted Tommy with his life, in this moment he didn’t trust him not to give Cicely more beer.
Before he could say anything though, Cicely was speaking, her fingers brushing across his arm. The feeling sent sparks up his spine, delicate compared the touches he was used to, the ones he had just experienced. Her fingers weren’t callused, but soft, as if she hadn’t seen a day of work in her life. Which she probably hadn’t. “Can I come with you?” She asked, eyes on his, a slight pout on her lips that drew his gaze in no matter how hard he tried to avoid it.
“While I change?”
She nodded. “I’ve got some questions about the match that I want to ask you.”
Harry glanced at Tommy who he could tell was barely holding back a laugh, a grin on his face that told Harry he would never hear the end of this exchange. “Fine,” Harry told her, the word coming out gruff. “Tommy, I’ll see you later.”
Cicely slipped her fingers around Harry’s wrist as he stepped away, and he tried to resist the immediate urge that came over him to rip them off, the touch something he hadn’t experienced in ages. The feeling of a woman’s hands on him was one of the things he had not indulged in when he came back from France, preferring drink and alcohol to drown the memories in. The prospect of one of them experiencing him at night, while he slept, was enough to make him frightened enough to avoid the concept.
So when Cicely touched Harry, even in the simplest of ways, it stirred something in him that he hadn’t felt in a very, very long time. Something that he hadn’t experienced since before his life changed, since before he saw men die in front of him, his friends lose limbs and call out for their mothers in their final moments. He had always thought that his ability to feel had died on the battlefields of France, but with Cicely’s fingers on his skin, perhaps he was wrong.
She didn’t remove them, either, as they moved through the throngs of men. When they reached the hallway that led to the room where he got dressed, though, he had no reason to let her continue touching his skin. So he wrenched his hand from her grip, as much as he wanted to let her touch every inch of his skin if she could continue to make him feel something again.
“I need to wash off,” he said when he shut the door behind them. “Wait over there.” He pointed to a couch in the corner of the room. Usually it was an office of some kind, but for Harry it was his dressing room. A basin of water sat on a table, cold and full, and he was itching to wash his sweat-coated skin. Surprisingly, Cicely followed his directions, and so he turned to the basin, using a rag to rinse off his skin, the feeling of the cold water like heaven on his pores.
“When did you learn to box?”
His head perked up at her voice. He could barely see her in the dimly lit room, but the outline of her was enough, her legs thrown over the arm of the couch in a complete unladylike way. “I was sixteen.” He surprised himself with his honesty, but in the room with just Cicely, for some reason he let a piece of his past slip through.
“Do you like it?”
The question had Harry pause. Did he like it? He cupped some water and ran it through his hair, the sound of the water dripping into the basin filling the silence between them. “It’s a job,” he told her simply. It was the best answer he had. He didn’t really have the luxury of considering whether or not he liked his job. It paid the bills and earned him a reputation that meant no one tried to talk to him, which was all he wanted. After France, all he wanted was to be left alone, save for a select few.
He was focused on his thoughts and the murky water in front of him that he didn’t see Cicely move from her position on the couch. Suddenly, she was there, her fingers dancing across his back that faced her. “Hand me the basin,” she said, voice firm in his ears.
Harry considered fighting her, but his body exposed him. His body craved her touch on his skin, and so he slid the basin to the side so she could reach it. The rag was wrung, and then she was brushing it over his back, reaching the places he couldn’t reach. He could smell her perfume, the faintest taste of beer on her tongue as she breathed lightly in his ear, the traces of jam on her breath from the food he had given her hours before. It made his fists clench against the table and he hoped she didn’t notice.
They stayed that way, Cicely brushing the rag across his skin, wiping away his sins from the night. Her fingers brushed a cut once or twice and he hissed, stopping her in her tracks. She halted her motions each time and wrung out the cloth with fresh water, cleaning the wound with a delicate touch he had never felt. She murmured how they needed alcohol when they got home, how she needed to properly clean the wound. It was something his mother would’ve told him, he thought to himself, a thought he quickly pushed aside as he clenched his jaw.
“Turn around,” she said, voice so quiet he barely heard it above their breathing.
And Harry did as she said. She had made him pliant under her touch, his desperation not to let her stop clouding his ability to speak. His bum pressed against the table and his eyes caught hers in the dim lighting, the gaze that passed between them making Harry stop breathing for a second. But when she brushed the cloth over a bruise, the wince that fell from his lips drew him from his fog.
The rag criss-crossed his body, covering the area he had already cleaned, but he didn’t stop her. It was only when her fingers brushed over the tape across his nipples that his hand shot up, grabbing her wrist and halting her movement. But her eyes zeroed in on him, a determined look in her eyes that made him pause. “Let me see them.” Her words were gentle, but firm.
That made him release her hand, and he sucked in a breath and she pulled the tape from his nipples, the air on his sensitive skin making his stomach clench. He stood there under her gaze as she looked at him, the bars through each nipple that he had gotten on a dare. At first, he had been embarrassed of them, regretted them because they hurt like hell and scratched against his uniform. He considered getting them removed, or just ripping them out, but each time he paused. Paused just enough to let the thought pass, and his best friend’s voice entered his mind. “Who gives a fuck, anyways?” And that was the voice that made him keep them.
Now, it was too late to turn back. He was a boxer and the moment he stepped into the ring with taped nipples, it became something he was known for. The stories circled, tall tales that made Harry chuckle to himself, but he never told the truth. He liked the mystery around them. They became a sort of badge of honor, something that set him apart.
But he had never experienced a woman’s gaze on them, and he couldn’t help but fear her reaction. Would she be disgusted? Ridicule him?
Cicely, though, just looked at them, and then up at his face. “What do they feel like?” She asked tentatively.
It was a question he had never been asked before, actually. And one he didn’t quite know how to answer, because after two years with them they had become normal to him. “They heighten everything,” he replied honestly. It was about the only answer he could give.
This seemed to pique her interest. “Can I touch them?”
Fuck yes, his body screamed, desperate for her fingers on the most sensitive part of his body. His gaze zeroed in on hers, searching her eyes for a hint of a possibility she would ridicule him. But instead he found just genuine curiosity. And perhaps a hint of desire. So, he told her, “Yes.”
When her fingers grazed the bars, her warm touch on the cold metal that ran under his skin, he tried not to flinch, but it was difficult. Her touch was like a lightning bolt through his body, setting every one of his nerves on fire. Holding in the desire to moan was one of the hardest things he had done, and as she touched the other, fingers curiously exploring his skin, it became more difficult. And then she whispered, “I like them.”
Harry’s eyes snapped from where her fingers touched his skin to her eyes, and he found her already looking at him. He watched her lick across her top lip, the flush to her cheeks and wide eyes that stared at him making his body boil. It was too much. He pulled away, desperate for space, for something to allow himself to calm down.
Cicely must have sensed the change in his demeanor, because she immediately stepped back, the rag dropping into the basin of dirty water. Sweat, grime, and blood all mixed together and Harry thought as he looked at his reflection in the water that a mixture had never described him more.
“Let’s go, I need to eat,” Harry said, bending to grab the shirt from his bag on the floor.
Cicely didn’t reply with anything but a nod, and when he had laced his boots she followed him out of the room. The warehouse had emptied out, just some of Josiah’s boys around to help direct the cleanup. Harry knew he’d stop by the office tomorrow to get his cut of the winnings, so he didn’t bother to stick around. Instead, he pushed open the front doors and led Cicely out into the nighttime Birmingham breeze of coal and horse shit.
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Cicely awoke to the sound of someone moaning and talking. Her eyes blinked to adjust to the darkness in Harry’s bedroom, her mind taking a second to gather her bearings and remember where she was. Then she heard the sound, something that resembled an injured animal, the edge of fear and pain that made her skin crawl. Last night Harry had given her one of his shirts to sleep in after she said she wanted to wash her clothes and leave them out for the night, and the cotton material bunched under her thighs and she swung them over the edge of the bed. She paused to see if she heard the sound again.
This time, a scream ripped through the house, and Cicely knew something was wrong. She pulled open Harry’s door and moved through the hall, eyes searching to see if she saw anyone, but it was empty. And then she heard it again, and this time without the barrier of a wall, she could tell who it was.
It was Harry.
Her feet didn’t bother to avoid the creaks on the stairs as she moved down the stairs to where he was asleep on the couch. The only light was the faintest bit from the moon, high in the sky, and it was just enough to make out the pained expression on Harry’s face and the thrashing of his body on the couch. He was talking to himself, something about the dark and the word No repeated over and over again, his voice cresting in panic.
It was a nightmare, she realized as she crouched next to him on the floor.
“No, please, it’s too dark, please—“
“Harry,” she said firmly, hands reaching out to grip his wrists to hold his arms to the couch cushions underneath him. “Harry, wake up.”
His eyes didn’t open though, and his body only trashed more under her. She didn’t know what to do, how to wake him up. The only thing she could think of was how when she was scared it helped when she felt safe. She didn’t know what made Harry feel safe, but for her, it was when her mother held her. So carefully, she lifted Harry’s shoulders, trying to avoid his arms trashing as she did so. Once she was seated on the couch she tugged him into her, letting her arms wrap around his chest and pin down his arms.
She murmured his name over and over again, softly in his ear to try and rouse him from the dream. “It’s Cicely,” she told him, “You’re safe, Harry, you can wake up. Wake up, Harry, you’re safe.” With their bodies this close she could feel his heartbeat, the way it raced in his chest. What was he experiencing? Where was he? She wanted to rouse him, pull him out of it and bring him back to her, but she was powerless.
After a few tries, she saw his eyes flutter open, his arms immediately trying to himself free from her grip.
“It’s me,” she said softly. “Hey, hey, it’s me.”
“Cicely?” His voice was rough from the screaming and it broke her. It was raw in a way she hadn’t heard from him, honest and open. Nothing protecting him from her.
She could feel his heartbeat slowing already, and the thought put her at ease. “Yes.”
He didn’t say anything for a few beats, and Cicely just ran her hand up and down his back, hoping to calm him as much as she could. His breath was ragged, big inhales of air and deep exhales, but it was becoming more normal as time passed. “I—I’m sorry,” he eventually said, voice small in the room.
But he had nothing to apologize for, Cicely thought to herself. The last thing he should do is apologize—it’s not his fault. “It’s okay,” she told him earnestly. “Do you want to talk about it?”
That made him pull away from her arms, her skin immediately missing his. Her arms fell to her side and Harry sat up, swiveled, and laid his face in his hands. “No,” is all he told her, not even lifting his head.
She didn’t know what he needed from her in that moment, but she knew she would do anything. Somehow she had only known this boy for a day, and yet the sight of his pain made her heart break. “Do—do you want me to stay?” It was the only thing she could think of to help, and if it would work then she would do it.
But he shook his head. He didn’t want her there. And the last thing she would do is push him after what had just transpired, so she stood, the hem of his cotton shirt reaching an unladylike mid-thigh. When he finally looked at her, she saw that he noticed, his eyes falling to the place where the material ended and her skin began. She tugged at it, hoping he didn’t judge her—she didn’t exactly stop and think about getting dressed, she just moved. “I…”
“Looks good on ya,” he said, words reverberating in Cicely’s mind.
She stood there, as still as stone, trying to figure out what to say to him. No man had ever seen her like this, and she had always been taught that they shouldn’t. And yet, the idea of Harry seeing her exposed legs, her hair messy from sleep, her in his shirt, it didn’t bother her in the slightest. So she didn’t disguise the blush that she could feel in her cheeks, and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Try and get some sleep,” she told him, and then she turned away, heading up the stairs and back to his room.
When she looked back from the third stair, Harry’s eyes were transfixed on her figure, gaze locked on her. For a moment, she held it, letting him watch her, but then she turned her head and went the rest of the way up the stairs, leaving Harry behind in the darkness.
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Harry didn’t sleep for the rest of the night.
The prospect of having the dreams again (although he got them most nights) and Cicely waking up again was too frightening a thought for him to allow himself to go to sleep. Instead, he ended up having a glass or two of whiskey in the wee hours of the morning, smoking too many cigarettes on the doorstep, and thinking. His thoughts revolved around Cicely, weaving in and out of the snatches of moments they had spent together—of which there were few—and the bits he knew about her. Which was very little. He didn’t even know her last name, where she was from, or why on Earth she was out in the middle of a rainstorm, lying on her back in the mud. He hadn’t asked, not wanting to make her uncomfortable or push her to talk, because he had this feeling that she was more than some spoiled rich girl.
The fact that she was rich was an assumption on his part, but one he felt was probably right. First, there were her clothes, which were nicer than any he had seen a girl around here wear, boots that looked like they were new, unscuffed.  Then there was the way she looked at his neighborhood—as if she had never seen something like it before. When she had walked out of his room and into the rest of the house, he had had the fleeting thought that perhaps he should be embarrassed, and at moments he was. But as they spent more time together, he began to get the feeling that even though Cicely may not be used to the way he lived, she didn’t seem to care all that much.
It intrigued him, the way she looked at his world. The way she had watched him during the match, the feeling of her eyes on his skin something he couldn’t shake, the way she had adapted to Tommy like a chameleon, blending in with ease. The way she had slid into the booth at the pub last night where they had eaten a late meal, complete disregard for the fight breaking out in the corner, her focus only on him and their meal. He kept expecting her to fit into the mold he had created for her, but she continued to slip away. And he didn’t quite know what to make of it.
Or the fact that she seemed to want to stay. When she had asked him if she could stay, and she said she didn’t want to go home quite yet, he immediately jumped to the worst of conclusions. That her father hurt her, that something had happened, and she was running from a past as dark as his. But then he reminded himself that she had money, wealth, status. Problems like the ones he knew didn’t exist in their world. Perhaps it wasn’t fair to cast her in a mold of wealth and opulence he had read about and encountered on a handful of occasions, people who used people like him and tossed them aside when they had had their fill. But the world wasn’t fair.
He flicked his cigarette butt into the street, the sounds of horses and distant rumble of cars, clap of house doors as men left for work telling him that the day was beginning. It was time for him to see Josiah and pay a visit to Nellie, who he hoped wouldn’t slam a door in his face. Inside, Cicely was still asleep—he couldn’t hear any footsteps from upstairs—so he decided to dart out while she was still sleeping. With any luck, he’d be back before she awoke.
The walk to Josiah’s offices was a well-remembered one, the row houses, shipyards and factories he passed old friends. He waved to the children he passed on their way to work or school, and nodded to the men he knew from matches or Josiah. He lived deep in Josiah’s territory, a requirement for what he did, and as a result every man was on Josiah’s payroll in some way. They all knew when to turn their heads, when to lock their doors, and when to pull out their guns. It used to unnerve Harry, but with time it became as normal as the nightmare that plagued his sleep.
He knocked on the back door as he was trained, a nod to Cyril when the door opened. People congratulated him on the match last night, and he didn’t respond. They all knew he was quiet most of the time, knew not to expect lengthy replies. Before France, he used to not shut up. Now, he preferred to think rather than talk.
Josiah’s door was ajar, his ankles propped up on the desk, the telephone stand in one hand, the handset in the other. His eyes darted up as Harry opened the door wider, shutting it quickly behind him. Josiah never changed much—a mustache on his upper lip, hard brown eyes that only lightened if he had enough drink in him, lips that curved into a smile when someone made a very bad mistake. He wore exclusively charcoal suits, saying black was too common, and he wanted to stand out, and a dark blue tie every day, a silver pocket watch chain tucked into his vest. Josiah had built his operations from the ground up, a man of barely 25 years of age when he came back from France, determined to make a name for himself and protect the community that had been, in his eyes, murdered by the British government for a war they had no business being conscripted for. His hatred for the government ran deep, deep enough to line the pockets of the police across southeast Birmingham, especially in Balsall Heath.
“Alright, but don’t fuck it up, ya hear?” Josiah said, nodding for Harry to sit in the leather chair across from his desk. It was the chair where Harry had sat during many conversations, both good and bad. “Yeah, okay.” Josiah hung up, resting the telephone back on the desk and running a hand through his longer dark brown hair. He picked his cigarette up from where it was burning in the ashtray, and swung his feet off the desk. “Heard ya won,” Josiah said, finally speaking to Harry.
Harry took the offer of a cigarette and nodded. “Peters wasn’t as bad as everyone said.”
“Mhm. I’ll tell Billy that when I see him.”
“He was Billy’s?” That was a surprise. Billy had been on the rise in the neighborhoods bordering Balsall Heath, his power growing to become something threatening to Josiah’s operation. So for Harry to be fighting one of Billy’s boys was unusual to say the least. Josiah didn’t usually like to risk the fights turning into something more—at least, not when they weren’t meant to be.
Josiah nodded, pushing aside a stack of papers and resting his elbows on the oak desk. “Newer kid. I was promised no trouble, thought I’d take the gamble.”
“Warn me next time, eh?” Harry wouldn’t have had Cicely within a mile of the warehouse if he had known his opponent was one of Billy’s. The prospect of guns coming out while she was in the room made his skin crawl.
But Josiah just chuckled and stubbed out his cigarette. “Goin’ soft on me, boy.” Harry hated it when Josiah called him that, but he always had. So he wasn’t going to start correcting him now, even though he was anything but a boy. “Heard ya had a girl there.”
Cicely. He knew Josiah would hear, but he had hoped he’d have a bit more time. “Yeah.”
Josiah wrenched open a door, reaching around for what Harry hoped was his pay. He wanted to get out of this damned office. Harry tolerated Josiah for Jack’s sake, but in truth Josiah had always been a bit too much of a wild card and a short fuse for Harry’s liking. But he gave Harry work, so he didn’t let his feelings get in the way. Plus, most men were short fuses after the war. “Where’d she come from?”
Harry chose not to answer, and thankfully Josiah didn’t push. He knew Harry didn’t like to talk, and most times he didn’t push too hard. “D’ya have the money from Manchester?”
Josiah didn’t reply, just pulled out a stack of bills, crisp and ordered, and placed them on the desk. “Manchester and last night,” he said and Harry took it, folding the bills over and shoving them into his pocket. It was more than most should carry, but Harry was anything but most people. “Don’t spend it all in one place, yeah?”
Unable to help it, he rolled his eyes, the tension in the room lifting. Josiah smirked and Harry pushed back the chair, the thought of getting back to Cicely making him eager to leave. “When’s Jack back?”
Josiah pulled a ledger from a drawer before responding. “Sunday.”
Harry nodded. Jack had been in London since last week, working on some deal that Harry didn’t have the status for the details on. “Tell him I’ll come by?”
“Sure.” Josiah didn’t look up as Harry took his leave, shutting the door behind him and giving Josiah’s secretary a nod. Next was Nellie’s, which he hoped would go smoothly, at least.
Unfortunately, he was not so lucky. Nellie stared at him when she opened the door, hair swept up on her head, clothes disheveled as usual. She cocked her hip against the door and rolled her eyes at him before asking, “What d’ya want, Harry?”
It had been over a year since he had rejected her, and yet she still treated him like he had broken it off with her after months. When in actuality, she had been the one to pursue him, and he hadn’t had it in him to tell her he wasn’t interested until she tried to kiss him. To say the least, things had been icy ever since. “Can I borrow some clothes?”
Her eyebrows furrowed. “Clothes for who?”
“A girl.” To her credit, she didn’t react to that news with anything but a sigh.
“What happened to hers?” She asked, opening the door wider. He stepped inside, the sound of children from upstairs wrapping around him, the sound making his body itch. It was too loud.
“Mud,” he replied simply, looking around for something to keep his hands busy, but he turned up empty. “So?”
Nellie pointed to the couch in the sitting room, a bit sunk in and worn with love. “I’ve got some that no one picked up. What size is she?”
Harry sat down the couch, folding his fingers together. “About yours.”
Nellie gave him another pointed look, but said nothing. She just disappeared to where she kept the clothes she mended for ladies, and he had to sit there and listen to her younger siblings squeal and yell up the stairs. When she reappeared, she had a few things in a stack for him, which she set on the table next to him. “There.”
He looked at the stack, the fabric without anything around it. He would have to walk home with them under his arm. “No wrap?”
“No,” she replied, and he decided that she purposefully didn’t give him any. “3 shillings.”
Harry pulled the coins out and pressed them into her hand, taking the clothes and tucking them under his arm. “Thank you,” he said, and headed for the door, knowing when he wasn’t wanted.
“Bye, Harry,” Nellie said, and proceeded to slam the door in his face. Which he didn’t deserve, but wasn’t the type to protest. He checked his pocket watch—a little over an hour had passed since he left home. He wondered if Cicely would be waiting for him.
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Walking into his home to find Cicely in his kitchen in nothing but his shirt made Harry stop in his tracks. While he knew he had seen her like this last night, last night it had been dark. In the dark he couldn’t see the lines golden curl of her hair, the milky white of her skin that seemed to go on for miles. It should be illegal, he thought to himself, to look as beautiful as her.
“You should put some clothes on,” he finally said, words gruff in the distance between them.
Cicely looked down at her legs and then at Harry. “I was waiting for you to come back, hopefully with clothes. Which I see you did.” She nodded at the stack of clothes under his arm and Harry knew he should move to give them to her, but he was frozen in place.
Seeing her in his kitchen, a plate with a piece of bread on it, an open jar of jam on the counter next to it, tea in his cup, it made him wonder for a split second what it would be like if she stayed. Like, really stayed. He knew that what was happening wasn’t permanent, that eventually she would have to go back to wherever home was for her. But having her in his home was making him realize that perhaps he didn’t like being alone as much as he had thought.
“Harry?”
His thoughts cleared and he jolted into action. He set the clothes on the table by the door and walked into the sitting room leaving her make her own decisions. Space, he thought to himself, he needed space from her. It was a push and pull inside of him—a pull that drew him to her and a push when he got too close. He stood by the fireplace, eyes trained on the black metal of it, as he listened to Cicely move through his home. Across the room to get the clothes, feet creaking on the stairs as she went up. When he heard her door shut he let out a breath, his body softening, tension leaving him.
The prospect of breakfast was enticing—he hadn’t eaten this morning. Porridge was what he had every morning, and this wasn’t the time for that to change. He shrugged off the jacket he had on, dropping it onto the couch, and headed for the kitchen.
When Cicely reappeared, the porridge was done and he was pouring it into two bowls, one for each of them. “Did you make me breakfast?” She asked, and his eyes drifted up to her. Nellie’s clothes fit her perfectly—a bit more snug on the curves of her body, but he wasn’t complaining.
“S’just porridge,” he replied and took the two bowls to the small table. He returned to the kitchen to grab his cup of tea, and he immediately felt her presence next to him as she picked up her own cup, left on the counter. Somehow he would have to get over the tension that raked through his body whenever she got near, but he didn’t know how he would manage that.
Cicely turned away from him and he followed her to the table, eyes trying to land anywhere but her body. She pulled out a chair and smiled at him softly. “Thank you. I’m not used to men cooking for me.”
Harry realized that him making breakfast for both of them meant they would have to eat together, that they would be forced to talk. The idea made him falter as he went to sit, but he forced himself to do it anyways, knowing that she would probably make him. “Mum taught me,” he mumbled, chair scraping against the floorboard as he say.
“Is that her in the photo?”
He knew exactly which photo she was talking about—the only one he had up. “Yes.”
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and dipped her spoon into the porridge, taking a bite. She was probably used to better quality, an actual chef maybe (he had heard rich people had those), but she didn’t give any indication that it was bad. Instead, she just took another bite before opening her mouth again to speak. “Where are you from?”
Harry didn’t tell people where he was from. It was a decision he made when he came to Birmingham, to leave his past behind him. The photo was up in his sitting room because he would’ve felt like shit for not putting it up, not because he particularly wanted it there.
“Harry?” She prompted, gaze fluttering over his face.
His grip tightened on the spoon in his palm, eyes on the food in front of him. “I don’t talk about my past.” Why did he want to tell her? He could feel it on the tip of his tongue and he tightened his jaw, trying to keep it from tumbling out on its own accord.
Cicely considered his statement as she sipped on her tea. “What do you talk about?”
The question made him look at her, her brown eyes already waiting for his. “What d’ya mean?”
“If you don’t talk about your past, then what do you talk to people about?”
He didn’t talk to people, he thought to himself. That was how he dealt with it. He only spoke to people who he felt safe with—Jack mainly, sometimes Tommy, Josiah if forced. They all knew his past, knew not to share it around. “Dunno.”
The sigh that slipped from her lips made Harry grimace. He had disappointed her and he didn’t like the feeling. “How about this? I tell you about myself, and you do the same in return. We each get a question.”
The idea was enticing, mainly because Harry desperately wanted to know more about her. She was like a period to him and he wanted to know everything that came before it in the sentence. Was it worth telling her about his past? Perhaps. “Fine. What’s your last name?”
Her eyes twinkled, a playful grin sliding onto her face. “King,” she said, that one piece of information rocking Harry’s world immediately. The Kings were as notorious as Josiah was, just in a different way. They owned dozens of garment factories in Birmingham, controlled a handful of shipyards, one or two coal factories. Harry estimated probably half of Birmingham’s working class was employed by the King family and he assumed properly, by Cicely’s father.“Where are you from?”
“Church Hulme,” he told her. “Who is your father?”
He searched her expression to see if she recognized it, but she didn’t seem to. And why would she—it was nothing but a small farming town, some local businesses and a forge. “William King. How old are you?”
So she was the daughter of the head of the King family, an heiress to a fortune larger than anything he could imagine, no doubt. He knew the Kings had only daughters, but he didn’t know how many, or if Cicely was the oldest. The importance of staying up to date on the lives of the King family was never something he felt inclined to do, but now it was vital information. “22. How did you end up on that road?”
“I went riding,” she said after taking another bite of porridge. “The lightning scared my horse and he bucked me off. I must have passed out when I hit the ground.” Cicely considered him for a moment before speaking. “Where did you fight?”
Harry’s blood ran cold at her question. It dredged up memories he didn’t want to talk about. “We’re done,” he told her, pushing away his finished porridge and standing abruptly.
“Harry, wait.“ Her hand wrapped around his wrist, catching his arm as he stepped away, and the feeling of her skin on his made him have to close his eyes to get his breathing under control. Did she know what she did to him? “I’m sorry.”
“‘m not talking about that,” he said, not budging from his position.
Cicely’s thumb brushed across his forearm, the thinner skin meaning he could feel the press of her fingers on his body. “That’s okay,” she said, voice soft. “Will you come back?”
Although he probably shouldn’t, he opened his eyes and turned back around. “Why don’t you want to go home?”
Her hand dropped from his wrist immediately at his question. “My father is forcing me to marry Clifford Stevens. Do you know who that is?” Harry shook his head. He didn’t exactly keep up with high society Birmingham circles in his free time. “He’s thirty and disgusting. He never even acknowledges that I might have a brain, much less that I’m a human being. If I marry him I’ll end up shut in his estate to raise his children for the rest of my life and I would rather die than sentence myself to a life like that.”
Clifford Stevens immediately became Harry’s least favorite person in the world, with the second being William King. To sentence a girl as kind, spirited, and open-minded as Cicely to a life as a glorified hostage was deplorable. “Why is your father forcing you to marry him?”
“We’re nearly broke,” Cicely said with a sigh. That was news to Harry. “Father has been losing money for years. He gambles most of what he makes away and because he’s a fucking idiot he never wins, and he hired a series of treasurers who are apparently inept at balancing the budgets. The factories are bleeding money and rather than take any responsibility for it, his solution is to marry me off with the knowledge that Clifford will bankroll my father’s lifestyle.” Perhaps it was the look on Harry’s face that gave him away, but Cicely gave him a weak smile. “Didn’t know the truth of the Kings, did you?”
“No.”
She fiddled with the cuff of her blouse as Harry considered her words. Was there any way to get out of her future? Probably not, unless she left behind everything that came with her name. Although from what she told him, it didn’t sound like there was much left. “Will you tell me about your family secrets in exchange for mine?”
His family secrets? God, where did he start. His gaze drifted across Cicely, her fingers brushing through the ends of her hair. What would she say to his answer? He supposed it didn’t hurt to tell her, since it wasn’t like she would tell anyone in his life about it. They were from different worlds, after all. “I found out when I came back from the war that ‘m not my father’s son.”
Cicely blinked at him, face softening as the words settled in. “What?”
“It’s just what it sounds like,” he said, leaning back in the chair and taking a breath. “Grew up my whole life thinking I had one father, when in reality it’s not him at all. My mum had an affair with some bloke and the man who raised me,” he spit out, hating the word father when he thought of him, “decided to keep me.” The feeling of her hand on his warmed his skin, but didn’t have the calm effect that he expected she intended. “Haven’t been back since.”
“Harry,” she murmured, calling his eyes from where her hand covered his to her face. “I’m sorry.”
It was the first time someone had told him that, now that he thought about it. He had told Jack, who said, Fuck mate, that sucks. Want another pint? And that was that, but he didn’t mind it. Somehow though, Cicely’s compassion made his chest ache, his throat close up. He could feel tears rising inside of him and he panicked—he hadn’t cried since France and he wasn’t bloody going to start now, not in front of her. “I—I need a second,” he said quickly, scooting back in the chair and walking into the hallway, leaving her behind at the table.
He rested his forearms on the wall and let his head fall on his neck. Deep breaths in and out, his eyes shut, struggling to keep his brain together as his ears buzzed. They didn’t deserve his anger, he reminded himself for the millionth time, they didn’t deserve shit after the secrets they had kept from him. That his sister wasn’t his sister. The man who had taught him how to play football, how to tie a tie, wrestled with him as a kid, wasn’t his father. His fists clenched against the wallpaper, knuckles hurting from last night, but the pain almost felt good to Harry—it was a feeling he knew.
All of a sudden he felt a hand on his shoulder and he whipped his head to the side to find Cicely standing there. “What?” He asked, not moving an inch, but just looking at her, trying to understand for the life of him why she was there.
Instead of responding, she ducked her head under his arm and wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling his body into hers.
She was hugging him, he realized.
He was frozen, unable to move. He could smell the faint scent of flowers on her skin, somehow still clinging to her despite being in Balsall Heath for almost two days. The darkness of this place seemed to not even touch her, the light from her repelling all of it away. Her fingers gripped the back of his shirt loosely, but just enough to where he could feel her through the fabric, her body feeling impossibly close to him.
No one had touched him like this in years. And he didn’t know what to do, how to respond, how to act.
The only thing he could think to do was to lift one of his hands from where it was clenched in a fist against the wallpaper, and brush it down her hair. It was soft against his skin, the strands of it darting between his fingers and petting the rough calluses he had from years of hard work and fighting. They stung against his cuts from the past week’s worth of fights, but he didn’t care. The prospect of touching her was enough to push all of the pain away.
Slowly, she lifted her head, eyes finding his. She was sandwiched between him and the wall and it was way too fucking close, so Harry immediately took a step back, giving her space. “Will you show me your Birmingham?” She asked him softly, voice echoing in the narrow hallway.
“What d’ya mean?”
“The Birmingham that’s your home,” she offered as an explanation. “I want to see it how you do.”
His Birmingham, the one that he had made a home, full of people who knew him as he was now. Respected him, feared him even—because what was the line, really, between fear and respect? The prospect of her wanting to understand his world the way he saw it was one he had never expected, but appreciated more than he could say. “Okay.”
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Harry took her on a grand tour of Balsall Heath, them weaving through the streets with children playing, horses and cars  making their way down the thoroughfares. He showed her the factories her father owned, which he assumed she had never seen before, and he studied her as she saw the conditions of the workers her father employed. Cicely seemed to be everything her father wasn’t and he hoped that that continued to her views on labor.
Parts of Balsall Heath were more well-to-do, people who could afford to send their children to the art school opposite the public baths. But Harry showed her the parts he knew, the parts where people scrapped together money to make ends meet, where they relied on wages from people like Cicely’s father. He was thankful he had gotten her clothes from Nellie because at least at this rate she blended in more, although her nice boots still stuck out like a sore thumb. Although, he expected her being with him drew a decent amount of attention. When men stopped him to talk about a match and their children were with them, Cicely would squat and talk to them, not minding that her skirts got muddy from the unpaved roads. Harry had a difficult time understanding her when she did things like that. She was so unlike so many people of her station, and yet here she was crouching to talk with grubby children on unpaved streets with a pile of horse shit just a few feet away with a smile on her face.
For a second, he let himself consider what it would be like if she stayed. But he didn’t let that thought linger for too long.
They visited his favorite pub for a pint and she laughed at the barkeep’s jokes and charmed every man they met. Perhaps Harry should have been hesitant to introduce Cicely to so many people in his world, but at the same time he didn’t care what people thought of him. If Cicely wanted to see his world, then by God was he going to show it to her.
It was getting dark by the time they made their way back to his flat, bellies full from a roast they’d had at the pub. Harry watched her walk beside him, her eyes darting around the homes as they passed. “I like it here,” she told him, not meeting his eye. “Everyone is so nice.”
He couldn’t help but scoff at the thought. “Not everyone is. See all these houses?” She nodded. “In every one of them is a man who works for Josiah in some way. There’s a gun in every one of these houses for when Josiah calls.”
“Does he call?” Cicely asked, eyes finally turning to him as they walked.
He nodded, hoping that was the explanation she sought. From the way her expression changed, he assumed it was. Harry didn’t know what to do with her naivety, because it mystified him that someone could know so little of the world around them. Although, he thought as they rounded the corner to his street, he couldn’t exactly blame her.
“Does he ever…call for you?”
“Yes,” he responded because it was the honest answer. Even though he got to avoid a lot of the action because he specifically had told Josiah when he signed on to box for him that he didn’t want to get his hands dirty, it came with the territory. Sometimes they needed all the people they could, and with someone as skilled at fighting as Harry and the experience from the war that he had, it would be idiotic for them not to call on him.
They reached his house in silence and he unlocked the door before pushing it open. She stepped in, and leaned down to wipe off her boots. He liked how she had already made herself feel at home in his space, knew that he always wipes off his shoes in the entryway on the mat, because otherwise the filth from the streets ends up inside. “Do you have a match tonight?” She asked, moving to the side.
“No.” It was his night off, but he had one tomorrow.
Her fingertips grazed the table and he watched them trail, the thought of her fingers on his skin drifting into his mind. “What do you do in the evenings you have off?”
Harry considered her question. He didn’t know, really. The evenings all passed, though, somehow. Time was irrelevant to him since the nights dragged on, plagued by nightmares most of the time. He spent a lot of time staring at the wall in the dark. Sometimes he took walks. Sometimes he drank enough to where the dreams didn’t come, but that was when it was really bad. “Nothing, really.”
Cicely rotated to see him, the sliver of moonlight those shone through his curtains hitting her blond hair perfectly. “Do you do anything but box?”
“No.”
“Do you read?”
Harry hadn’t read a book since before France. “Not anymore.”
Cicely turned to his bookcase, which had collected dust from disuse. “Then why do you have so many books?”
“They make me think of my sister,” he replied, the truth shocking both of them. Gemma loved books, always had—she would be curled up on a chair all day with a book in her hands if their mother didn’t make her stop. When he was young, she would read to Harry sometimes, his childhood memories a mixture of fantasy and historical tales from his sister’s lips. Perhaps the books were his way of keeping her close.
Her fingers grazed the spines of his collection, dust falling around her. “Do you talk to her?”
“No.” He’d picked up the telephone a handful of times, ready to say the number to the operator. But then he’d think again, and set down the stand.
“I like this one.” Cicely pulled a bound volume off the shelf, her eyes dancing across the cover. “The Magnificent Ambersons.”
The name meant nothing to him. He bought bestsellers because he knew his sister did the same. Sometimes he considered reading one just to see what she would’ve thought about it. One time he almost mailed her one on her birthday. But each time, he did nothing.
“Can I read to you?”
Her voice was hesitant, nervous of what he would say. No one had read to him since the war, when his friends would read aloud their letters if someone didn’t get one. It made them feel like someone was looking out for them, even if they didn’t get a letter themselves. If it had been someone else, he probably would have said no. But it was Cicely and her voice was like his favorite church hymnal, entrancing and meditative. He would have listened to her talk for hours. So he said yes.
She directed him to lay down on the couch and he did, while she sat in the chair to the side. Harry lit a cigarette as she opened the cover, the sound of her tuning the pages the only noise except for the flick of his lighter. And then, she began. “Major Amberson had ‘made a fortune’ in 1873, when other people were losing fortunes, and the magnificence of the Ambersons began then.”
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Cicely’s eyes fluttered open and at first she didn’t know why. But then she heard a shout and a long, deep moan from downstairs. It was Harry again. Her hands pushed at the duvet and she flicked on the light by the bed. As she left his room the sound of him moaning in his sleep, words she couldn’t understand reached her ears, but louder without the muffling of the door. She didn’t bother to keep her footsteps quiet as she made her way to the stairs and down to the first floor, her eyes adjusting to the dark.
A scream, blood curdling and filled with anguish, ripped through the house, and Cicely flew the remaining few feet to the couch. The sound of Harry’s scream, sharp and frightened, shook her to her core. She just wanted him out of there, free from the clutches of whatever demon robbed him of his sleep.
“Harry!” She said, loudly, jostling his shoulder to try and rouse him. Unlike last night when she had knelt by the couch, Harry wasn’t flailing around. He was stick-straight, as if held in a straight jacket, but she could feel his pulse racing when she pressed her fingers to his sweaty skin. It was almost more frightening—seeing him unmoving but mumbling nonsense in his sleep. The only part of him that moved was his head, ever so slightly shaking back and forth, a stream of Nos leaving his lips.
“No,” he mumbled, “please, it’s too dark, please.” His words from last night were back again, and she wanted to know where he was. What endless circle of hell he had found himself in and how to dig him out of it.
She decided to do what she had done before, and tried to lift his shoulders from the couch. But this time, Harry’s body was so tense that she couldn’t lift him, as if he had made himself a thousand pounds. As he let out another loud groan, she grimaced—she had to wake him, she just didn’t know how. “Harry,” she said again, “wake up, please. Please, Harry.”
But her words didn’t seem to do anything, because the next thing she knew his scream was filling her ears, the sound ripping at her heart. Her body seemed to move without her knowledge as she threw herself on top of him, her knees falling to either side of his hips, her palms cupping his face. “Harry,” she said softly, brushing her thumbs across his cheekbones. “Wake up for me, please. It’s Cicely. It’s safe, I’m here.”
Somehow, that seemed to rouse him, because his eyes fluttered open, his hazel eyes meeting hers in the dark. She was inches from his face, and she wondered if his sight was filled with her face just as hers was. “Cicely?”
“It’s me,” she said, brushing his sweaty hair off of his forehead. “You’re safe now.” She could feel the sigh that left his body intimately, her skin touching his in parts. That was when she realized how close they were, how completely improper her position was. She was on top of him for Pete’s sake. Her knees were on either side of him, their most intimate parts just inches from one another. If her elbows weren’t propped up on his shoulders, her chest would be touching his.
She scrambled to move, but Harry’s hands moved to her hips, halting her in place. Her eyes flickered to his, trying to read him, decipher what he was doing. Usually she had a hard time reading Harry, understanding what he wanted and needed. But now she had no problem. She watched him lick his lips, his pupils still blown out from the dream trained directly on her. When his grip didn’t shift from her body, but his thumbs brushed across the shirt she wore—it was his—and she knew.
He wanted to kiss her.
Cicely had never been kissed. Boys had tried, but they’d been disgusting, as had every other man she had ever known, and she had no interest in them. Until Harry, she hadn’t ever understood romance novels, the attraction people described in them. Every man who had ever showed interest in her had been boring, unattractive, and more than anything, just made her want to run in the opposite direction. But Harry made her want to race towards him at full speed, the darkness in his gaze and warmth in his heart made her want to know his stories, the way he looked at her made a part of her heart race that she had never felt before. He made her feel alive, as if she had been sleeping for nineteen years, just waiting for him to arrive.
One of his hands moved from his hip, inching through the air until his knuckles softly brushed across her jaw. Her heart was beating in her chest so fast she wondered if she was going to pass out again. It couldn’t be possible to go this long without breathing, right? Because Cicely didn’t know the last time she had taken a breath, all of them swallowed up in the look on Harry’s face.
She wanted him to kiss her.
Desperately. With every bone in her body. Cicely wanted to know what he tasted like, what it felt like when he kissed her. She wanted to know everything about him, to uncover every piece of him like gifts on her birthday, ripping back the pieces of wrapping paper walls that kept him from her.
“Harry,” she whispered, her voice one she had never heard before. It was soft, yearning, the encapsulation of everything she wanted in that moment.
He seemed to understand, because his fist uncurled, his palm moving to cup the side of her face. Slowly, his hand moved around her head, his fingers threading through her hair, the feeling of his callused hands on her skin alighting every inch in her body. Then, he pulled her head into him, his fingers on the back of her neck, delicately pressing at her skin. His eyes fluttered shut and perhaps hers were supposed to, but she wanted to see every moment of this—she wanted to know what he looked like when he kissed her.
When he did, his wet lips meeting hers, it was like returning home after a long trip, a homecoming she had been waiting for her whole life. Her eyelids shut, lost in the feeling of him, of the faint taste of cigarettes and whiskey on his lips, the smell of him that she had grown to look forward to when she walked into the room he was in. Fingers drifted from her neck to her hairline, and he lifted his chin, changing the angle, and Cicely fell into the kiss. Her arms gave out, elbows falling from his shoulders to the cushions of the couch, her body suddenly flush with his.
Harry’s hand moved from her hip to curl around her lower back, tugging her impossibly close to him as their lips parted and met again. It felt like there wasn’t a centimeter of space between them and Cicely didn’t want any. Their noses were pushed against each other, foreheads touching, lips moving in a dance they somehow both knew by heart. She pushed her fingers into his hair, nails scratching at his scalp lightly. A sound left his throat, and Cicely went to move her fingers, thinking she had hurt him.
“Do it again,” he mumbled.
Cicely’s eyes flickered open, studying him with her lips just a centimeter from his. He looked at her as if the rest of the world didn’t exist—it was a look she had never seen but one she wanted to see for the rest of time. So she brushed her nails across his scalp and slotted their lips back together, squeezing his hips with her knees. Under his shirt she could feel his heart racing, and she wondered if he was as affected by what was between them as she was. Because for her, it felt like her world had become Harry, even though she had known him for only two days. Somehow, he was her every thought and she didn’t want another thought to grace her mind ever again.
Harry shifted his head, nudging at her jaw and pushing it up so that her neck was stretched out. In rapid succession, he pressed soft kisses to her jaw and Cicely’s head lolled back to make room for him because it felt so good to have his lips on her skin. Then, his tongue flitted out and licked over her pulse point, making her squirm against him. His hands gripped her tightly in response, before ducking his head down, pulling the collar of her shirt to the side, and nipped at the juncture of her shoulder and neck.
A breathy moan left Cicely’s mouth, mixed in with the undertones of Harry’s name. It seemed to spur him on, because he opened his lips and sucked on her skin softly. It was a sensation Cicely didn’t even know what to do with, how to process, but she knew it felt good, so she held his head to her skin, urging him to continue. Which he did—laving his tongue against her tender skin in between nips and harsh sucks, and when she looked down and saw the mark he had formed, it didn’t bother her in the slightest. She just pulled his head up to meet hers, desperate to have his lips back on hers again.
His hands fell to her waist, clutching at his shirt that hung there. When he pulled at it, the hem crawled up, leaving her thighs mostly exposed to the cool air inside the room. But to Cicely, her flesh was burning from Harry’s touch and the cold air was welcome, and she didn’t mind that more skin than was appropriate was on show. She had a desire within her for Harry to see all of her, every inch of her skin if he would keep making her feel like this.
Harry seemed to not notice her exposed skin until his palms drifted downwards and gripped her skin, his eyes fluttering open and his lips pulling away from hers. “Cic—“
“It’s okay,” she whispered, brushing at the hair on his forehead. “I trust you.” And she did. She trusted him more than she did anyone else in her life, who had just let her down in a series of lies and cheats. He was the first person to take her for as she was, not demand her to be some prim and proper version, to show her the truth of their life, even if it was in pieces. It didn’t matter to her that she didn’t know it all, she knew enough. Enough to know Harry could never hurt her, at least, not in the ways that mattered.
His head bent, and he rested his forehead against hers, sucking in air and quick puffs. “We—we should stop.”
“I don’t want to,” she said, barely trusting her own voice in the moment. She didn’t even know what it was that she wanted, but it was everything, anything he would give her. She would take scraps at his table, if it meant one more moment in his arms.
Harry pushed her hair behind her ear, and then let his fingers fall to the mark he had left on her skin. She thought she could see a blush rising to his skin and it made her smile. “I want you to be sure,” he told her earnestly. “And I—I haven’t done this in a long time. I need…I want it to be perfect. Does that make sense?”
“Yes.” It did, and the fact that he wanted her to be sure made her trust him even more. Because even though she wanted it, she had barely thought about it. Cicely was impulsive, and her impulses had a tendency to get her into situations she regretted, and she didn’t want to regret a moment with Harry. “Will you come back to bed with me at least?”
His breath shuddered, eyes closing. She could see the wheels of his mind turning, and she thought she had an inkling as to why.
“Harry,” she murmured, pressing a tender kiss to his brow bone. “Your nightmares don’t scare me. I want to know every part of you, even the dark bits.” That made his eyes open, his pupils found her in the moonlit room. “Will you come to bed and tell me about them? It doesn’t have to be everything, I just want to know how to help you.”
Slowly, he nodded. She scooted back, letting him sit up on the couch. Tentatively she pulled her knees up from the couch and dropped back to the floor, coming to a standing and taking Harry’s hand in hers to help him up. He was a disheveled mess, his hair standing in all directions, and she realized it was from her. She liked it, seeing the results of something she had done on him.
With his hand in hers, they walked up the stairs to his bedroom, to the unmade bed she had been sleeping in before. Knowing he would be hesitant, she got into bed first, scooting against the wall and turning, so she could watch him get in behind her. The moment his head hit the pillow, the duvet cover around his waist, Cicely leaned into him, wanting to be close. She rested her head on his shoulder and his arm cautiously wrapped around her, holding her to him. One of her hands rested on his chest, just inches from the nipples with barbells through them, the ones that she wanted to see again but didn’t know how to ask about. The bed suddenly smelled like a mixture of them, a new scent that she already adored. She hoped she didn’t have to go to bed again for a long time.
She brushed up and down his chest over his shirt, drawing light lines across his skin. After a few minutes of just lying there, Harry cleared his throat and began to tell her the horrors he saw when he closed his eyes. “I’d barely been there a few weeks,” he said softly. “It was still all new to me, the landscape of France, the sound of bullets in the distance, the smell of smoke and dead bodies in the air. We were in this open field, the only protection was an occasional tree, but we spent all of it in trenches.”
His voice was like gravel, rough in the silence of the room, and Cicely kept rubbing at his chest, hoping it would keep him calm enough to keep going. She didn’t want him to stop, no matter how bad it got. “There was this massive offensive in motion from the French, and we were a piece of it. We were supposed to take Arras, to gain a strategic advantage against the Germans, break the deadlock we were in. All of us were itching for action, something just to keep our minds from spiraling in those fucking trenches. I’d never really been in battle before, so I didn’t know what it was like. But god, the minute we started moving, when we came up out of the trenches and the firing started, it was like the world was ending.
“Everyone around me was dropping, partly from the German fire, but more so from the shells from the air. It was so loud—they don’t tell you that, how loud war is. Your ears never stop ringing, and you’re almost able to like, drown it out for a second? But then something goes off near you and your whole body is jolted and it draws you back to the Earth. And I was just trying to like, reload my gun, right? And keep my body from shaking. Jack was there, and he was telling me to keep it together—that’s how we met actually. He found me on the field, my hands shaking so bad I couldn’t reload.
“It went on like that for days. Weeks, even. We made it three or so miles on the first day, but we also lost so many fucking men. We had to figure out who was gone, and it was easier to figure out who was still there. We made it into the town and there were all these houses with no roofs, tanks covering every inch of the road. It was like walking through the end of the world. And you can’t sleep, but you also can’t do anything but sleep because it’s this bone exhaustion you’ve never felt before in your whole life.”
Cicely could feel the fast beat of his heart and his voice was speeding up, the anxiety settling into his bones. “I’m here,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to his shoulder where her head laid. “I’m still here.”
His head shifted, tilting to his chin rested on the top of her head. “I thought I was going to die. Sometimes I feel like I did, on that battlefield. Everything I knew before that moment was gone. It was just echoes of the dark trenches at night, the feeling of rats crawling across your boots and the niggling feeling that you can’t go to sleep because something might happen. And the death...I think I stopped believing in God on that battlefield, because how could any God ever want that many men to die? And for what, a few measly miles that didn’t even fucking matter in the end?”
“How many did you lose?”
He paused before answering, but when he did his voice cracked as he said the number. “158,000. There were conflicting numbers, but that’s the one I heard the most.”
Cicely couldn’t even wrap her head around that number. What did 158,000 people look like? Who were all of those 158,000 people? Who were their families, their children, their loved ones? How many lives were changed forever by those days? “I’m glad you survived,” was all she could think to say. She didn’t want to say she was sorry because that didn’t really mean anything, did it? Not in comparison to everything that had happened.
“For a long time I wasn’t,” he said.
“What changed?”
His fingers brushed through her hair, tender, soft caresses that made her eyes flutter shut. “A girl who showed me there was still someone left inside of me.”
Cicely looked up at him, at the exhaustion in his eyes, the light bruise on his cheekbone from the fight the other night, the curls of his hair. “You know what I see when I look at you?” He shook his head slowly, eyes never leaving hers. “Someone who has experienced more pain, hurt, and loss than any one person should be allowed to. But who still manages to be kind, to be generous, to care. Someone with a life worth living, someone who is worth loving.” She reached up and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth before pulling back slightly. “Someone who is worthy of everything in the world.”
She felt the tears on his cheeks when he kissed her, their lips molding together just like before. His hands gripped her face, as if he couldn’t have her close enough, and she didn’t blame him. She wished with every kiss she could drink away the pain inside of him, pull it from him piece by piece until none remained. But she couldn’t. She could only hold him and tell him who he was to her, that he was everything to her, someone she didn’t know was waiting for her out there in the world. But who now she couldn’t imagine a life without.
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The days melded together in beautiful technicolor. Seven days had passed since Cicely had woken up in Harry’s bed, and each one made her more thankful it was him who had picked her up on the road. She stood in the crowds during his matches, cheering his name with Tommy and becoming less floaty every time she had a pint. At the end of each night, Cicely cleaned the blood and sweat from his skin with a tenderness he had never experienced, pressed kisses to his forehead and told him how good he did. Each night in the pitch dark, she chased away his nightmares with reminders that she was there, she was real, this was real and the battle wasn’t. He clutched the shirts of his she continued to sleep in and held her close, letting the beat of her heart and the exhales from her chest lull him back to sleep.
He hadn’t slept this well since before the war.
Cicely had discovered a new routine. While Harry was meeting with Josiah and Jack, training, or just generally out of the house, she went next door and helped teach the Rollings children to read. She had stumbled on Pippa and Clarence the morning after she had kissed Harry, almost stumbling over them in the daze she carried. They were playing outside and she had a book under her arm, a plan of finding the nearby park and reading for a few hours. But when she stopped and apologized, Pippa asked what she had, and at the sight of the words and Cicely’s description of what a book was, she was intrigued. After asking their mother, Cicely began to spend her mornings with the children curled up on their couch or at their small table, or even on their front steps, teaching them their alphabet and how to sound out words, how to form sentences and read them on the page. They were ravenous for learning and their mother was happy to see her children entertained by someone who wasn’t her for a change, so Cicely quickly became a fixture in the house.
When she had told Harry, he gave her a small smile, the first one she had seen, and a quick peck to her forehead. It was exactly what she needed from him, a vote of support and nothing more. In the afternoons she washed the blood stains from Harry’s clothes and towels, or carried water into the house and ran herself a bath, a task well worth it. One time Harry almost walked in on her and the flush on his cheeks made her almost let him in. But that wasn’t how she wanted him to see her naked body for the first time, so she squealed for him to shut the door and he did, none the wiser.
After he had told her about France, about the demons that followed him into the night, the secrets between them fell away. It was if a damper had been lifted, and at night when they laid in bed, he shared more about his past and she told him of her family, the life she was supposed to live. She tried to avoid the topic of the future, because it made them both anxious. It felt a bit like they were living in a bubble, as if the outside world and its pressures were nonexistent. One morning Harry brought up how they hadn’t heard anything from her family, and Cicely nodded in reply. She had thought about it many times, and she didn’t quite have an answer for it. Although maybe Harry was just so far from the expected answer that she would never be found.
Just as she was starting to settle into the prospect of her life becoming this permanently, her past came knocking. She was with Pippa and Clarence on Harry’s front steps, their own ones being swept by their mother. A book was spread open on her lap, one she had found at a bookstore for children, and she was helping them decipher the sentence. She could feel eyes on her, which at face value wasn’t something to worry about—people were always looking at her, at the new person in the neighborhood, although once they found out she was Harry’s, they stopped. But this time, the feeling of someone watching her didn’t let up.
So when they reached the end of the page, she looked up in search of whomever was so interested in her. And what she found were the eyes of a policeman, the black uniform and intent stare raising the hair on the back of her neck. She knew immediately what it meant, that this wasn’t some normal policeman, because the ones in this area normally didn’t pay her any mind. Josiah had made clear she was not to be trifled with the minute Harry had told him that Cicely was with him, for all intents and purposes.
This policeman, though, wasn’t from around here. He stuck out, the shine of his shoes a bit too bright, the cocky attitude obvious from a mile away. He didn’t know the people or the area.
Which could only mean one thing.
Her father had found her.
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TAGLIST: @autumn-sunflowers @afire-hes @harrydobedirectioning​ @harryinsweatersandbandanas @vapingisntmything @frindgeyy @froggystyles @magical-mischief-makers @heslilac @ursogoldenshan​
PART TWO
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jamie-leah · 4 years ago
Text
War of Wolves (19)
Season 1
Episode 19 - The Search Begins
Bucky x Reader
Summary: You have been on the streets for the past two years, ever since your accident that left you with the ability to tell if someone is lying. You work as an informant for the white wolf and his mob but you had never met him…until you overhear a phone call that leads you to saving his life. Now he wants you to work for him. Its an offer you couldn’t refuse…right?
Word Count: 2530
Warnings: Violence, injuries, manhandling, medical talk, swearing, POV Changes
A/N: Here's another! Late as usual I know, but my life has taken an unexpected turn. However, lets hope these updates will not be more regular. There will be POV changes and I know Bucky's part is third person but I call it Bucky's POV because it's easier for everyone to follow! Enjoy Lovelies! Feedback is always encouraged!
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BUCKY’S POV
There’s a pounding in his head that hasn’t stopped since the crash. As his senses start to come back Bucky notices, he’s lying on concrete, the cold seeping into his bones.
About the same time, he realises he’s on the floor he remembers what happened. Bucky shoots up from the floor, causing dizziness but he didn’t care. The only thought he had was you.
As Bucky looks around, he sees the chair you were in empty and the room also empty. Morning had started to break, and he curses himself for losing precious hours.
As Bucky starts to make his way out of the building his body aches as his head keeps pounding in time with his heart.
He finally finds an exit and walks until he comes to a main road. Bucky looks around and breathes a sigh of relief that he knows where he is. With no phone or anything to communicate with anyone, Bucky walks.
He follows the main road as his thoughts race. He can’t help picturing you with Isaac and it makes him sick. The worry for you and the anger at himself and Isaac is almost enough to bring him to his knees, but he said he would find you and he would. He would die before he ever stopped looking.
Bucky felt like he had been walking forever but it was probably only about twenty-five minutes. The older building coming into view. He picks up the pace until he comes to the gates.
Bucky walks right in catching the eye of two men. They look at each other alarmed by the way he looks but Bucky simply says, “go get him”.
The one runs off as the other stays by the gate. Bucky keeps walking afraid that if he stops, he won’t be able to get back up.
As Bucky reaches the door Darren steps out looking concerned. Bucky clenches his jaw before saying, “I need your help”.
YOUR POV
You’re cold. You smell damp. You hear murmuring.
You shift and groan as your eyes protest being opened. You feel what must be springs digging into your back as you make sense of what you’re seeing.
Its quite a dark room, the ceiling old brick and as you follow it the walls are brick too. You sit up fast and groan. You notice you’re sitting on a mattress and metal frame.
You stand up and gasp as your bare feet touch stone. When you get over the shock you notice metal bars covering an archway, the only exit to this room.
It took you a while to comprehend what you were seeing but you finally realised that you were in a dungeon. You’re incredibly confused as voices get louder.
You walk closer to the bars, your feet becoming numb due to the cold until two figures step into view. It doesn’t take you long to see that its Harry and Isaac.
You look at the both of them, “where the hell am I?”.
Harry’s British accent comes out loud in the small space, “This is an estate of mine. I had a lot of extra room here, so I let Isaac renovate a few of his labs here”.
You screw up your face, “am I in a dungeon?”.
Harry chuckles, “my estate is essentially a castle, this place has many hidden places, this small dungeon being one”.
Isaac speaks next, watching you carefully, “no one knows you’re here. It’s just me, Harry and one of my men. The rest of the men don’t know you’re here, so Bucky definitely doesn’t know you’re here. Don’t cause me any trouble”.
You hold his gaze lifting your chin, “he’ll find me”.
Isaac smirks, “no. He won’t”. That’s when he pushes some type of clothing through the bars, “wear that. I have some initial tests I want to run as soon as possible. If you don’t have it on by the time my man comes to get you, he’ll put it on you himself”.
Without another word from either of them they leave. You pick up the clothing and see that it’s a hospital gown.
Its freezing in the room due to the stone so you don’t really want to put it on, but you don’t want to risk anyone else putting it on for you. You strip and quickly put the gown on. You sit on the edge of the bed and wait.
BUCKY’S POV
Darren didn’t even blink when he agreed to help in any way he could. The first thing that Bucky did was call Steve.
“Hello?”, Steve’s voice sounded tired, strained.
Bucky was just relieved to hear his voice, “Steve, its Bucky-“.
Steve interrupts him, “Bucky?! Where are you?! Are you hurt? I saw the car-“.
Bucky just manages to get out, “Steve, he took her”.
There was a heavy silence for a few moments, “where are you?”.
Bucky’s head was still hurting, “Darren’s”.
“Me and Sam will be there as soon as we can”, Steve waits a second before hanging up.
Darren comes back with a woman with a full looking rack. Bucky just sits there on Darren expensive looking sofa.
She comes over without a word and starts attending to the cut on Bucky’s head. Darren sits opposite Bucky and waits for the woman to finish. Before she leaves, she hands Bucky some tablets and water.
As Bucky takes them, Darren asks, “What happened Buck?”.
Bucky stares into space picturing the events as he tells Darren, “Isaac ambushed me and Y/N. I didn’t even see it coming. Rammed straight into us. I held em’ off as much as I could but there were too many of them and Y/N refused to run”.
Darren’s eyebrows raise, “brave woman”.
Bucky’s mouth twitches despite the circumstances, “stubborn woman…He took us to a warehouse about half hour from here. He was gonna kill me, but Y/N convinced him not to. He knocked me out and took her”.
Darren’s jaw clenched, “what do you need from me?”.
YOUR POV
It took about twenty minutes for you to hear footsteps and for another figure to come up to the bars. You can’t make much out other than he’s blonde and tall.
He opens the bar door and his gruff voice comes out, “move”.
“Where’s my please?”, you don’t know if its you being brave, stubborn, or stupid, but the comment comes out just the same.
The guy comes marching in and grabs your arm. He yanks so hard that your cry echoes in the room and you’re afraid he’ll rip it out of the socket.
You fight against him, fear of what Isaac has in store finally kicking in. But it doesn’t matter, you can’t get a grip with your bare feet and your punches bounce off him.
He leads you down narrow corridors and you lose track until he stops abruptly at a wooden door. He opens it one handed and drags you in.
Its like you stepped into a different reality. The room was white, and the floor was tiled. It was like you had entered a hospital. It made the knot in your stomach tighten painfully.
Isaac was sitting at a desk in a white coat. Your eyes slide from him to the glass window in front of him that looked into a room with an MRI machine.
Isaac talks with his back still to you, “put her on the table”.
The man starts backing you up, but you keep resisting. You manage to clip the guy in the face, his grip loosening enough to break free for only a second. Before you can get very far, he pulls you by your hair and throws you into the table.
Your stomach collides with the edge of the table and knocks the wind right out of your lungs. You double over and end up falling to the floor trying to suck in air.
Isaac doesn’t even care. He just walks over calmly as you struggle to breathe and injects something into your arm. You don’t remember anything after that.
BUCKY’S POV
The pounding in his head hadn’t stopped. The dizziness was still there, but Bucky couldn’t keep still. He was pacing in front of Darren worrying about you and wondering how he was going to find you.
There was a knock on the door that made Bucky turn around in his pacing. One of Darren’s workers had guided Steve and Sam to the room.
Steve took big strides over to Bucky, pulling him into a hug, closely followed by Sam. When Sam steps back he says, “we’re gonna get her back”.
Steve nods before asking, “what happened?”.
So, Bucky tells them everything. Once Bucky finishes Steve asks, “you got people on the inside, right? You planted people in Isaac’s organisation a while ago?”.
Bucky nods, “I’ll reach out to them, ask if they’ve seen her or heard anything about where he’s got her. There were also cameras at the warehouse he took us to, pull the footage and see if it tells us something”.
Sam holds his hand up, “we’ll do all of that and whatever else you need us to do, but we need to take you back and get you some medical attention”.
Bucky starts to shake his head, but Steve talks next, “Sam’s right. You can reach out to your informants in the car on the way back home, but you need to get your head checked out. You’re no good to Y/N if you’re injured”.
Bucky nods frustrated with how right they were and how much time its going to waste, “okay, lets get moving then”.
Bucky starts moving towards the door and everyone follows. Steve and Sam get in the car and Bucky follows. Before he closes the door, Darren says, “I’ve got a few people I can reach out to. I’ll let you know if I hear anything”.
Bucky nods, grateful, before slamming the door. Sam hands him a phone to start making calls as Steve speeds back home.
YOUR POV
It was like you were repeating history. You wake up groggy again and you shift as springs dig into your back.
You take in your cell and start to get up before the world tilts causing you to crash back onto the bed. That’s when Isaac speaks, making your heart race, “you’re going to feel dizzy and you’ll probably throw up soon. I need you to rest because I’ll need to take a few more tests in a few hours”.
You manage to murmur, “fuck you”.
Isaac chuckles, “the harder you fight the more I’m going to enjoy breaking your spirit. There’s a bucket in the corner of the room for when you throw up”.
You listen to his footsteps walking away, loud to the throbbing of your head. You try focusing on your breathing, but it wasn’t long before you felt saliva flood your mouth and your stomach clench.
You stumble out of bed and towards the corner. You nearly fall two times before making it to the bucket and heaving. Not much comes out as you stay hunched over the bucket for about half an hour just heaving.
By the time it stops your body is shaking and you have to crawl back over to the bed. You get back on and curl in on yourself, falling asleep to forget.
BUCKY’S POV
By the time they get back to the house Bucky has got in touch with everyone that he can think of, but it still doesn’t feel like enough.
He gets out the car more frustrated than ever and once inside he makes a beeline for the office. That is until Steve blocks his path, “I don’t think so. Med wing. Now”.
Bucky doesn’t fight as Steve escorts him towards the medical wing. He asks softly, “how is Peggy doing? I can’t believe I missed everything”.
Steve smiles, “she’s doing great. She’s at the safe house with the kids thinking of a name for our boy as we speak”.
Bucky nods, lost in thoughts, “good, that’s good”.
Steve looks over concerned, “Buck…”.
Bucky reaches for the med wing doors, “go and get the footage from the warehouse and get in contact with anyone I missed in the car while I get my head sorted”. Bucky didn’t give Steve a chance to say or ask whatever he was going to say as he lets the doors close.
YOUR POV
You wake to the noise of the barred door scrapping against the stone floor. You don’t move from your foetal position on the bed.
It’s the blonde guy again, “move”.
Your body still feels weak and shaky. When your voice comes out you don’t recognise it, “go fuck yourself”.
You hear his heavy steps approaching and you brace yourself. Again, he yanks your arm and pulls you off the bed. You don’t expect it and can’t catch yourself in time before your hip and knee collide with the stone floor.
You yelp as pain radiates along your leg. As you try breathing through the pain, he takes advantage and manages to carry you most of the way without much fight from you.
He drops you on the table in the room and Isaac is waiting with another syringe. He wastes no time in using it as you feel the sting in your arm.
They both step back and you start to get off the table, but your limbs don’t listen. You try moving your legs, but you go nowhere. You try moving your arms but still you’re staring at the white ceiling.
Panic starts clawing in your chest as your eyes dart around the room as much as they can. You can feel the cool table underneath you but despite all your strength you can’t even make your fingers twitch.
You even go to ask Isaac what he did but your mouth wouldn’t open. Fear was gripping your racing heart as you hear your blood in your ears like the sea raging on the shore.
Isaac comes into view with a smile, “try not to panic, it wouldn’t do me any favours if you died. I needed to do an MRI with you awake, but I imagined you wouldn’t lay still for me, so I thought I’d make you”.
He nods to the blonde guy and he picks you up. He takes you into the next room and places you on the machine.
During the entire process you try to move, but nothing worked. The loss of control and feeling of helplessness made breathing difficult.
You decided to just close your eyes and picture Bucky. You picture him healthy and in one of his black suits. You try and imagine what he would say to you now. He’d probably cup your face and make your eyes look at his and say, “you’re strong, smart, and stubborn. I know you can do this until I get there, you just need to breathe Doll. Just breathe for me. I will find you”.
It was only when you opened your eyes that you realised a tear had escaped down the side of your cheek and into your hair.
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Hi! I’m a big fan of your work!! I am looking for more but unfortunately I feel like I have read all yhe good Harry Potter docs on Ao3. Do you have any recs?
Sorry for the delay, I just know that whenever I make rec list it usually ends up taking a while.
With that, Harry Potter fics are a big genre. Just saying Harry Potter in general really isn’t that specific to me so this is across genres/character focuses/you name it.
Also, as usual, I’ve been on fanfiction longer and have amassed more favorites there. Some of these are cross posted to Ao3. Similarly, a lot are unfinished, this personally doesn’t bother me but if it bothers you take heed.
Also, you’ll see my embarrassing obsession with Tom Riddle. So, heads up for that.
Stepbrother (Tom Riddle/Hermione Granger, period piece, in which the two remind me a lot of Nabokov)
Cat Among the Pigeons (Tom Riddle/Lily Evans, Psycho-Pass Detective AU, in which I am a beta actually so my promoting this goes without saying)
Til Death Do Us Part (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Voldemort wins AU, which for me does very well with the concept of immortality and what exactly Tom is supposed to do after he wins)
This Tangle of Thorns (Tom Riddle/Hermione Granger, modern AH AU, a full on Nabokov inspired fic which I enjoy because Lolita)
Delusional (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, sort of. Harry wins the war, goes crazy, checks into a mental hospital. Or he’s not crazy and Voldemort is as unkillable as Palpatine.)
Harry Potter and the Natural 20 (OC insert, D&D inspired, shameless crack. I mostly enjoy the beginning of this but it makes me laugh enough to recommend.)
A Hairy Business (AU, Harry is a deer, he is literally a deer, that’s it. It’s funny.)
Animus, Anima (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Harry travels back in time, gets stuck in Tom Riddle’s brain, and it turns out Harry’s responsible for every terrible thing that ever happened. This one was squicky even for me, very well done, but strap in.)
Addendum, He is Also a Liar (Tom Riddle/Hermione Granger, Tom has an inexplicable ability to travel to the future, but only to this random little girl Hermione Granger)
Framed & Fractured (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Harry gets stuck in an evil painting back in time. Tom is creepy as usual.)
Trying for Eden (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Harry travels back in time to lecture Tom into morality. It doesn’t work.)
Magical Mirrors (Luna Lovegood and Severus Snape, Luna and Snape stumble on the Mirror of Erised at the same time and strike up a conversation)
Aphelion (Hermione Granger/Loki, MCU crossover, Hermione and Loki strike up the world’s weirdest toxic friendship when Hermione’s young and attending Hogwarts, this leads terrible places as Loki slides into madness and despair)
Wandering Souls (Luna Lovegood and The Undertaker, Black Butler crossover, Luna meets and strikes up a conversation with the Undertaker)
Of Lies Most Beautiful (Tom Riddle, Hunger Games crossover, Tom wins the Hunger Games becaues that’s what he does bitch)
In Wonderland (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Harry ends up back in the past and decides to raise Tom Riddle. This goes so poorly that the pair almost get eaten by eldritch gods multiple times.)
Rumpelstiltskin, Guess My Name (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Female Harry travels back in time and offers to save Merope’s life/get her Tom Riddle Sr. the non rapey way in return for her firstborn son. Merope thought Harry was joking. She wasn’t joking. In the sequel, also linked, Harry kills Morfin.)
The Eyes (Harry Potter, AU, turns out “the power he knows not” is the power humanity knows not, Harry’s ability to see eldritch abominations and cosmic gods and thus bring them far enough into our reality that they eat everything. And I mean everything.)
Mirror Mirror (Harry Potter, MCU crossover, Harry makes a huge mistake and stops Hulk in the middle of a rampage. This gets him abducted by octopus nazis.)
I See the Moon (Harry Potter and Bruce Banner, MCU crossover, Harry got brain damage from the war and wanders around the middle of nowhere. He runs into Bruce. He’s now Bruce’s only friend.)
You Will Be the Death of Me (Harry Potter and Tom Riddle, Despicable Me inspired, through a series of convoluted events Tom as the world’s worst father figure ends up raising Harry the sad adorable orphan.)
In Death, Standby (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter (sort of, the authro claims), Tom raises Harry, the only Tom raises Harry that I’ve seen done well because Tom is the world’s worst father. Harry thinks he’s a deformed snake until the age of three.)
Little Harry’s Mirkwood Adventure (Harry Potter and Dudley Dursley, Hobbit Crossover, one of the most Tolkien style crossovers I’ve actually seen and is very good)
A (Self-Imposed) Trap for a Fool (Ginny Weasley, turns out Harry Potter never existed, as in he’s a collective hallucination made up by the entire wizarding world)
McLaggen and From McLaggen with Love (McLaggen, a detective AU then a James Bond style adventure starring McLaggen, the greatest wizard who ever wizarded)
Tom Riddle’s Diary: on keeping devils in the summer (Tom Riddle, Tom Riddle’s antichrist orphan adventures involving exorcism and burning people alive)
and the fates sing (hold on, son) (Harry Potter, MCU crossover, Harry is the son of Loki and like all children of Loki he is a wretched and cursed thing)
A Faulty Master (Harry Potter and Itachi Uchiha, Naruto crossover, Itachi after the massacre of his family has a run in with a master of death Harry, who is a creepy creepy man)
Eye of Reason (Harry Potter/Jack Frost, Rise of the Guardians crossover, due to the mythos surrounding his life Harry ceases to be a man and becomes akin to a god)
Flowers for a Ghost (Luna Lovegood and Itachi Uchiha, Naruto Crossover, Luna befriends a blind ghost)
Third Time’s the Charm (Harry Potter, MCU crossover, Bruce Banner keeps trying to kill himself and MoD Harry is there to have himself a real good day)
Blind Faith (Bellatrix LeStrange/Tom Riddle, canon compliant, an in depth look at Bellatrix from the escape of Azkaban onward)
Cocktail Time (Rita Skeeter and Gilderoy Lockhart, Rita does an expose and autobiography detailing the descent of Gilderoy Lockhart and how he became what he became)
Fantastic Elves and Where to Find Them (Harry Potter, canon divergent AU, Harry thinks he’s an elf. That’s it.)
The Twine Bracelet (Colin Creevy, a look at Colin’s death) 
Legal Alien (Harry Potter, MCU crossover, Harry visits New York and an alien invasion breaks out. Culminates with the best, dumb, joke.)
The Root of Desire (Tom Riddle/Hermione Granger, Hermione travels back in time and tries to influence Tom. All this does is inspire his sexual awakening.)
Deadheads (Harry Potter/Godric Gryffindor, a romantic comedy of a kind, culminating in the best dumbest joke)
Give and Take (Tom Riddle/Hermione Granger, Hermione tries to outwit Tom, it ends in despair)
The Road to Somewhere (Harry Potter, Spirited Away crossover, Harry as MoD is in the realm of the spirits)
Absolute (Harry Potter, Harry picks up a death note, he kills everyone)
Fortunate Son (Dudley Dursleys, years afterwards Dudley looks back and writes a memoir and expose about the abuse inflicted on his cousin)
Elective Affinities (Severus Snape/Harry Potter, Harry travels back in time to discover his parents are assholes and things are more complicated than he imagined)
Juxtaposed (Bod, Graveyard Book crossover, Bod attends Hogwarts)
The Fire Omens (Tom Riddle and a look at WWII)
Broken Toys (Tom Riddle and his useless broken toys)
The Fine Art of Poisoning (Madame Zabini)
A Marriage of Convenience (Pansy and Theo get married)
Reparabilis (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Tom becomes a professor, he still destroys Harry Potter)
The Unforgivable Curses (Draco Malfoy, a look at the 4th year unforgivable lecture with Moody and the Slytherins)
Ugly (Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy one sided Dudley/Harry Potter, Dudley’s fat, ugly, and creeps on his cousin)
Three Can Keep a Secret (Harry Potter, on secrets and secret keeping)
Caveat Incimici (Hermione Granger, on Hermione and her terrifying wrath)
Babylon (Harry Potter and Tom Riddle, Harry never gets rid of Tom)
Wonderful Tragic Mysterious (Luna Lovegood and Albus Dumbledore, Luna Lovegood time travels and becomes a young Albus’ neighbor)
In the Clockface, Weighted and Weary (Harry Potter/Ariana Dumbledore, Harry after DH ends up back in time in Dumbledore’s childhood and witnesses the beautiful Dumbledore family dysfunction)
Eternal Return (Harry Potter and Tom Riddle, Harry is reincarnated as Tom Riddle and as a result becomes Voldemort so that a Voldemort exists)
Like Pale Fire (Harry Potter/Godric Gryffindor, the Founders are resurrected and it turns out Harry had travelled to the past and become Salazar Slytherin, turns out the Founders were more complicated than people expected.)
12 Moves Sideways (Harry Potter and Light Yagami, Death Note crossover, Light becomes the Defense Professor, for once Harry does not figure out the mystery.)
A Very Young Girl’s Record of Her Own Impressions (Ariana Dumbledore’s diary)
Night Comes Early (Moody on war)
Little Witches (The Black family women and how it all falls apart)
Paved with Good Intentions (Petunia on finding a baby on her doorstep)
Emerald Serpent for Vanity (Draco and Nagini introspective)
Blue (Tom Riddle/Bellatrix LeStrange, Voldemort wins dystopia, Tom visits Bellatrix’s grave and is very crazy)
Eighteen (Hermione Granger, on Hermione’s betrayal of her parents)
Ouroboros (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, on what they’ve made of each other)
Not so Different (Scout, To Kill a Mockingbird Crossover, Scout reflects on the wizarding world’s raicsm)
Traitor (Hermione Granger, Hermione is captured by the Death Eaters and commits unspeakable acts to free herself)
Smashing Mirrors (Tom Riddle, introspective)
Twelve Dark Moons (Luna Lovegood/Tom Riddle, Luna becomes a captive of the dark lord)
Full Circle (Harry Potter, Harry wins and is miserable)
The Web of a Thousand Spiders (Luna Lovegood on the diary)
The Metronome (The fall of Lucius’ entire generation)
Understand (Hermione Granger and her betrayal of her parents)
Tea with the Headmaster (Severus Snape and Albus Dumbledore, the pair have tea)
This Grief Feeling (Hermione Granger and Severus Snape after the end)
After Innocence (The trio after the end)
Of Great Turmoil and Excess Stupidity (Sesshomaru and Hagrid, Inuyasha crossover, Hagrid decides to capture a demon for class)
What’s Left of Hope (Severus Snape and Albus Dumbledore, on preserving hope)
In His Keep (Severus Snape and Luna Lovegood, Snape informs Luna her father has died)
Wednesday (Petunia Evans, introspective)
In the Presence of Angels (Moody in WWII)
What He Grows to Be (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Harry Potter raises Tom Riddle in the past and it goes horribly wrong)
Being Cassandra (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Tom, and their strange AU friendship)
The Girl (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, a fem Harry Potter keeps accidentally appearing in Tom’s childhood)
Corruption (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Tom wins AU and female Harry slowly becomes corrupted)
One Night Stand (Tom Riddle/Lily Evans, a wonderful look on the first war, Tom Riddle, Lily Evans, the Order of the Phoenix, and terrorism)
The Voldemort Principle (Severus Snape, turns out Snape was Voldemort the whole time and Harry is a lying liar who lies)
Harry Potter and the mountain of pure diamond (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Harry has become an ageless god who travels worlds and decides to raise Tom Riddle. He’s disturbed when he realizes Tom is more of a person than he is)
A Road Less Travelled By (Harry Potter/Lucius Malfoy, Harry’s a veela, just read it, it’s amazing, I know I sound crazy but it is)
Transformation (Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, Draco gets eaten by the Forbidden Forest and then Harry gets eaten too)
Rock Bottom (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Tom gets trapped being defense professor and has a miserable time)
90 notes · View notes
mostlycompetentwriter · 4 years ago
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Limitless - Chapter Seven
F/M Pairing: Y/N x Johnny (side pairing: Y/N x Jaehyun)
Word Count: 4K
Warnings: Language, and lots of angsty feelings
Genre: Hogwarts AU; Fantasy AU
Summary: The aftermath of the werewolf attack...
Taglist:  @jae-bread​​,  @lanadreamie​​, @do-you-like-riddles​​, @ki-aechan​​, @the-usernames-i-like-are-taken​​, @dru-shadow​​, @completencttrash​​, @haechans-sunflower​​​, @neocultech-baby, @jaectizen​​​, @yutamist​​​, @lunavbm​​​, @seriousballoon​​​, @lerissa​​​, @kickin–it​, @xiaojunssmile​
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“You are protected, in short, by your ability to love” - Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
The infamous night in question, in which my step-brother and his friends were attacked by a rogue werewolf because of a stupid prank, remained the topic of conversation around the Castle in the days proceeding the event.
Fittingly, all of those lofty rumors continued to evade the truth, and it was apparently predicated on the disparate accounts presented by Jisung and his friends because they were all first-hand witnesses. Yet, when it came to corroborating their testimonies, there were small details that were disregarded, and I still couldn’t convince my step-brother to tell me everything that he remembered. Apparently, it was too difficult to relive, but I had a sneaking suspicion that ulterior motives were preventing the truth from coming out.
Subsequently, I wasn’t the only person convinced that something important was being withheld, and it was a sore spot for our Headmaster who claimed that nothing was coming together. Unfortunately, it only severed his perception of the younger students, and I could tell that it would be difficult to convince him to lighten their impending sentences. Plus, in spite of my protests, our Headmaster was insistent on punishing Jisung and his friends to the fullest extent.
“The consequences,” the man seethed. “They’re far-reaching, and Mark will have to deal with the lycanthropy for the rest of his life!”
I winced at the harsh tone, turning to look at Johnny with a pleading expression. In return, the Slytherin Prefect sighed. “Sir, I understand the situation-”
“No!” the Headmaster interrupted. “I’ve made my decision, Mr. Seo, and I’m sure that you won’t like it. Detention for all of them every night until the end of this term! Plus, an additional 50 points will be taken from each of their houses.”
“Fine,” Johnny growled. “But don’t send them anywhere with Mr. Lee - he already has a personal vendetta against Haechan.”
“Well, maybe if your cousin didn’t cause him so much trouble,” the Headmaster rebutted. “I think I’ve heard enough for you, Mr. Seo.”
I quickly intervened because Johnny was getting nowhere with his arguments. “Sir, if you insist on detention, then perhaps we can turn the occasion into a learning experience.”
The Headmaster frowned, but didn’t immediately protest. “Go on.”
“The greenhouse is expecting new growth in the spring,” I said. “The school usually relies on volunteers, but perhaps the boys can shoulder most of the work? Jungwoo and I can supervise them.”
“I’m not surprised that you have a plan, Miss Y/L/N,” the Headmaster remarked, but his tone had softened. “I’ll consider your suggestion, especially in light of everything that’s happened to your younger brother. I can tell you care about him very much.”
I nodded my agreement, training my gaze on the ground while the Headmaster returned to his desk. “I’ve heard conflicting accounts of the events that took place over a fortnight,” he said. “I’m still not sure that the entire truth has been revealed, but since these boys can at least demonstrate some inkling of remorse, I’ll consider your proposal. Perhaps they can learn a thing or two about responsibility for one’s actions.”
“Yes, sir,” I agreed quietly, and when it was made abundantly clear that the Headmaster had nothing left to tell us, I dismissed myself from the office with Johnny hot on my heels.
“He’s harsh because he cares,” Johnny said, cornering me quickly against an alcove.
“I care too,” I said. “But you don’t see me forcing those kids to lose the rest of their first and second years.”
“They’re not losing anything,” Johnny said, but then he sighed when he recognized my resolve. “Fine, but there’s nothing we can do to change his mind.”
“Yes,” I agreed. “But he did make one good point about this whole mess: we still don’t have a cohesive account from that night, and it feels like you’re hiding something from me.”
Johnny scoffed at the observation. “I’ve said everything that I remember.”
“Really?” I muttered, crossing my arms in a decidedly petulant manner. “And if I were to ask everyone individually, all the accounts would line up together?”
“What do you want me to say?” Johnny asked, but it wasn’t as hostile as his tone suggested. “You heard everything you need to know.”
I rolled my eyes at the careful phrasing. “The truth always comes out.”
“There’s nothing left to tell,” Johnny insisted, and he shook his head before letting out a harsh exhale. “You’ll still meet me tonight?” he asked instead with a hopeful expression.
Despite the lingering suspicions laying heavy in the air between us, I forced myself to nod because Johnny still deserved that much since he had saved Jisung. Even if I still felt ostracized from whatever secret they refused to share. “I promised, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, but it feels like you resent me,” Johnny said, and his gaze was searching. “I have something important to tell you, and I want you to let me explain everything before you react.”
I narrowed my eyes at the demand. “Johnny-”
“Please, Y/N,” he interrupted with force, and I almost staggered backwards at the lofty interjection.
“Okay,” I eventually relented. “I’ll listen.”
“Thank you,” he said around a relieved sigh, glancing back and forth between opposing directions of the corridor. “I know your brother will want you with him, but I expect to see you outside the Slytherin common room.”
“I already said that I would,” I reminded him, and Johnny chuckled before stuffing his hands into the pockets of his trousers.
I’m sure there was more to discuss, but I would wait until the designated hour to push Johnny for as much as he was willing to give me.
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I would never force Jisung to do anything that made him uncomfortable, but it was hard to keep myself from breaking down and demanding that he recall the events of the unforgettable night that had landed his classmates in so much trouble. 
The biggest issue was the discrepancies between their versions of the events, and the truth was a confusing puzzle, but I was missing several pieces around the edges. “How do you feel?” I asked my step-brother when I stopped to visit him between classes.
“I’m okay,” Jisung replied, and he tugged on the sleeve of his hospital gown. “The medicine helps.”
“Oh?” I remarked, reaching for the bottle on the side table. “Are there any side effects?”
“Not really,” Jisung said. “Plus, they help me sleep.”
I sighed at his morose tone. “Is it hard to close your eyes?”
“I see everything in the dark,” Jisung whispered. “I remember everything.”
“You’re not meant to suffer like this,” I said. “That's now how memories are supposed to work.”
Jisung nodded, even though his gaze was distant. “Johnny said that you spoke to the Headmaster with him.”
“Yeah,” I said, and I wondered when Johnny had found the time to visit before me. “I-uh-I managed to convince him to let you and your friends work in the greenhouse under my supervision.”
“Really?” Jisung asked, and I was pleased to see the ghost of a smile press across his lips.
“Nothing’s set in stone,” I continued. “But he promised to think about it.”
“Thank you for trying,” Jisung said, and he reached out for my hand while reclining against his bed frame. “I’m tired of staying here.”
“It’s not very lively,” I agreed before clearing my throat. “What about the rest of your friends? Are they doing better?”
“Chenle and Renjun are fine,” Jisung said. “But I haven’t seen Haechan in a while, and Mark...” Jisung trailed off with a choked sound, glancing down the line of medical cots to the last bed curtained off from everyone’s view.
“He’ll be fine,” I tried to reassure him even though the words weren’t good enough when the situation could only be fixed by reversing time.
“I think Jaehyun’s looking for you,” Jisung said, and I followed his gaze to the unexpected appearance of the man in question. Jaehyun smiled as he beckoned me closer to the entrance of the medical ward, and I squeezed Jisung’s hand before joining the Gryffindor Seeker.
“I didn’t know you were coming,” I said, but Jaehyun simply shrugged in response and encouraged me to follow him outside.
“I thought we could walk together to class,” Jaehyun said. “Is Jisung feeling better?”
“I’m not sure,” I told him, speaking of the conflicting tightness that was incited by everyone’s never-ending concern for my younger step-brother. “He’s despondent, but I’m not surprised.”
“He’s a good kid,” Jaehyun said. “He’ll bounce back when he’s ready.”
“My father offered to send him home,” I said. “But I don’t think Jisung really wants that.”
“They’ve all been through a lot,” Jaehyun agreed. “Maybe we can keep giving them space and they’ll come around.”
“It just bothers me,” I said. “He won’t talk about anything that happened, and Jisung is always honest with me.”
“From what Chenle tells me,” Jaehyun said. “Which is very little, but Jisung was the most eager to join those older students. Maybe he feels bad about it.”
I blinked slowly at the suggestion. “I guess that might explain why he doesn’t want to share with me.”
“He trusts you,” Jaehyun said. “Give him some time to process everything for himself.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, but it was a half-hearted conviction. 
“Maybe you could talk to Chenle or Renjun in the meantime?” Jaehyun said. “They seem to be feeling like themselves, and even Haechan might discuss that night with you.”
I shrugged because it seemed awkward to approach Johnny’s cousin. “I don’t know...maybe everything will work out on its own.”
“I’m always here,” Jaehyun whispered, bringing me back to our surprisingly intimate conversation from the Three Broomsticks.
“Thank you,” I said, hesitating only for a second before accepting his outstretched hand. 
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It was close to curfew when I left the Hufflepuff common room, navigating the changing staircases to the dungeons where the Slyhterin’s kept to themselves for the most part.
Everything was quiet, and I kept my eyes wide open in the expectation of finding Johnny somewhere close to the common room. But his voice still broke through the barrier of silence, and I paused at the sound of his voice. “Y/N.” Johnny whispered, summoning me to the opposite end of the corridor where he sat on a bench situated beneath the sole window allowing moonlight to seep into the quiet space.
“I hope you haven’t been waiting long,” I said, but Johnny shook his head in response.
“I’m really glad to see you,” Johnny said, and his tone was unusually bright as he invited me to sit down next to him on the bench.
“I haven’t been down here much,” I remarked, but Johnny didn’t seem interested in light-hearted conversation, and there was something heavy in his gaze as those penetrating eyes briefly flickered down to look at my lips.
“How’s Jisung?” Johnny asked.
“He’s doing better,” I replied. “I saw him earlier, and I promised to meet him in the morning before my first class.”
“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Johnny said. “They went through a lot, and I don’t think many Hogwarts graduates have experienced something so dark.”
“It was a stupid dare,” I grumbled. “I’m glad the Headmaster sent those Fifth years home.”
Johnny nodded, and my attention was distracted by the reflection of the moonlight touching the outline of his profile. “I have something important to tell you,” Johnny said, and his tone was hushed as if he was protecting a secret of significant importance.
“I promised to listen,” I reminded him, and the words seemed to help Johnny relax as he glanced out the window overlooking the grounds.
“When we were younger,” Johnny began. “I chose to be your friend because I genuinely liked you. It had nothing to do with our parents.”
“Oh?” I offered in return, wondering why Johnny had been prompted to include that unexpected anecdote.
“I heard about you and Jaehyun from some other students,” Johnny said, holding up his hand as a reminder when I opened my mouth to interfere. “I’m not stupid. I know that he’s interested in you, and that’s okay because I can’t really blame him, even if we don’t get along these days.”
Johnny sighed as he finally looked at me - really looked at me with a studiousness that rivaled Taeyong’s at his best. “I love you, Y/N,” Johnny whispered. “I need you to understand that my feelings are genuine, and I want you to choose me instead of Jaehyun.”
He was silent then, but his words bounced around inside my head - taunting and mocking - and I released a ragged sigh before laughing in return. “You can’t be serious, Seo.”
I didn’t mean for my tone to sound so ragged, but I could see the moment when Johnny’s expression morphed from affectionate to something a lot colder. “What do you mean?”
“First, you gave me all kinds of bullshit at that stupid Christmas party about my mother, and then when I try to be more amiable, you throw it back in my face like the arrogant asshole that you are!”
“Arrogant!?” Johnny growled, and he suddenly appeared a lot more hostile as he crossed his arms. “Y/N, I’m not trying to take advantage of you. I want you to know how I feel.”
“Well, that’s great,” I chirped, standing up from the bench with a sigh. “Let me know when you’re ready to act like a mature adult again.”
“Where is this coming from?” Johnny asked, reaching out to snatch my arm before I could leave. “Holy shit, you’re one of the most frustrating people I’ve ever met, and I still don’t understand why you think I’m joking?”
“Isn’t that what everyone’s doing?” I snarled before jerking my arm back. “Ever since that night, I feel like I’m being treated like an outsider who needs to be coddled. Why the hell is everyone lying to me?”
“Nobody’s lying,” Johnny said, but he only served to infuriate me even more.
“You’re so dense, Seo! There’s still something nobody is telling me,” I snapped, leering down at Johnny. “I think there’s more to the circumstances. Werewolves have never attacked so close to the Castle!”
“Fine!” Johnny exclaimed, and his eyes were dark with rage. “You want to know? I didn’t think you’d press so hard when it clearly made Jisung uncomfortable, but I guess you never stopped to think that he feels guilty for summoning that werewolf in the first place!”
Summoning?!?!
“What?” I immediately questioned him, and my mind was swirling with possibilities as Johnny paused when he realized his mistake. “Jisung summoned the werewolf?”
My heart thundered against my chest, and I reached out to place my hand against the wall because it felt like my entire world had just turned upside down. And I had no control over the dizziness competing with the rushing blood roaring inside my ears.
“Fuck, Y/N.” Johnny sighed. “Is that what you want to hear? Yes, Jisung summoned the werewolf because those fifth year pricks dared him, and maybe I was trying to save his reputation and protect him because I care way too much about his older sister!”
I swallowed hard, stunned by the confession. It turned out that the truth was a bitter pill to swallow, and I had no words left to counter Johnny’s demanding presence. 
“Y/N? I don’t know what you want from me,” Johnny finally said to break the tense spell of silence. “You keep making me think that there could be something more between us, but every time I take a chance, you always do or say the wrong thing and it makes me want to forget my feelings for you.”
“It wasn’t my intention to lead you on,” I said in return when I managed to control my ragged breathing, and it was very difficult to look at him. “I also wouldn’t have pushed you on Jisung had I known-”
“Really?” Johnny scoffed, interrupting me before I could continue. “That’s bullshit, and we both know it’s a lie. You’ve been pushing me ever since you saw me that night in the infirmary, and I tried to tell you to leave it alone, but I guess you don’t have it in you to just leave some things unsaid.”
“Maybe not,” I said in response. “It looks like you don’t know me as well as you thought.”
“I never insinuated that I pretended to know you,” Johnny retorted.
“Oh? What would you call our conversation from my father’s party, then? When you cornered me in the gardens and gave me a very inaccurate assessment of my character?”
Johnny laughed, and it wasn’t out of humor, but something darker and far more menacing. “The problem with you, Y/N, is that you don’t like to be told that you’re anything less than perfect! You try to mold this untouchable image of yourself, and it manifests into something obsessive! But since you’re so obsessed with the truth, then you should know that you’re far from perfect! In fact, you’re one of the worst people I’ve ever met, and I feel sorry for someone who can’t recognize their faults.”
“You’re no saint either, Seo,” I reminded him, even though the statement itself felt petty. 
“But at least I don’t try to deny it,” Johnny gritted out, and he shook his head while his raging expression settled into one of stoic intensity. “Forget what I said tonight. I’ve heard enough to change my mind about you.”
“Good,” I retorted, frowning when he started walking back to entrance of the Slytherin dorms. “We’re better as enemies.”
But Johnny didn’t say anything to counter the aggressive statement, and I chose not to linger for another moment in the proximity of someone who had just proven himself to be against me.
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But my brain wouldn’t allow me to forget the revelation of Jisung’s mistake, and I could tell that my step-brother was surprised when he woke-up the next morning to find me sitting next to his bedside.
“Y/N?” he questioned.
“I think we should talk,” I said, and Jisung could tell that I was serious as he immediately fisted the bedsheets between his hands.
“Is something wrong?” he whispered, and I sighed because the conversation would be hard for both of us.
“There’s something you’re not telling me,” I started. “I feel like you’ve lied to me about that night.”
“I never lied,” Jisung said, and I rolled my shoulders back to try and dispel the mounting frustration threatening to explode at any moment.
“You kept something important from me,” I said. “I want to hear you say it.”
“Did Johnny tell you?” Jisung asked, and his tone matched the betrayal written across his features.
And since I had no obligations to defend Johnny, I nodded in response to Jisung’s question. “But I don’t trust him, and I want to hear it from you.”
“I didn’t mean to, Y/N,” Jisung said, and there were fresh tears threatening to fall. “I would never hurt Mark on purpose.”
I looked straight ahead, measuring the rays of lights falling through the curtains. “So, you did summon the werewolf.”
“Yes!” Jisung sobbed. “But I wish I could go back and undo everything, Y/N! The older students told us that we had to do it-”
“Do you obey everyone who asks for you to endanger yourself?” I snapped, and Jisung was caught off-guard by my dark tone. One that I rarely used around him.
“Y/N,” he whined. “Please don’t tell anyone.”
I closed my eyes because I was furious that he would burden me with that knowledge - the real reason for the cruel predicament that had befallen the first and second years who left their rooms to entertain the damning pranks of a few immature boys.
“If the Headmaster knew, then you would be suspended,” I said, and Jisung sniffled as he nodded. “I won’t tell anyone, but you need to understand that this isn’t something that will just go away over time. Because of what you did, Mark will have to deal with the lycanthropy for the rest of his life. On every full moon night, he won’t even remember his own name...”
“Stop!” Jisung cried, and he was rushing to swipe at his eyes. “Why are you being so mean?”
“Mean?” I scoffed. “Jisung, I’m being honest with you.”
“But you act like I don’t care!” Jisung said. “I hate when you talk to me like a kid. For once, I just want you to treat me like I’m not stupid. Because I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, okay? How am I supposed to face any of my friends again after what happened? When I see Mark...” He broke off with a choked gasp, clutching at his throat while exhaling. “I can’t sleep knowing that I hurt him, and I don’t know what you want from me!”
I froze at his final declaration because it reminded me of my confrontation with Johnny -  “I don’t know what you want from me.”
But Jisung’s outburst left me at a loss for words, and I could feel a huge chasm growing in the limited space between us while my younger step-brother crossed his arms and turned away from me. “We’ll talk about this later,” I eventually whispered.
“Much later,” Jisung said. “I don’t want to see you right now.”
“That can be arranged,” I muttered, and I ignored every instinct screaming at me to stay next to his side when I left Jisung alone to suffer with his guilt.
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skinnyziamlove · 4 years ago
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i've always wanted to make a fic rec but i never got the chance, but yesterday some friends (@introvertedbitch2302 and @liamislife​) asked if i could recommend them some of my favorite fics and i got all excited and here i'm !!!!
these fics are my precious babies and i love them all so they are not in a specific order (and please be aware of the trigger warnings in the tags before you read them):
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Just the two of us and a cute little cup of cyanide
Or an I-accidentally-married-my-best-mate-in-Vegas fic, where Liam's completely oblivious, Zayn's completely in love, Harry's had enough, Louis plays mediator and Niall just wants his best friends to be with each other.
The Underdogs
Zayn Malik hates everything about winter. He hates the snow, he hates scraping the ice from his car, he hates freezing every time he steps outside, he hates wearing hats and heavy jackets. In fact, the only thing he doesn't hate about it are his hockey player buddies and his childhood best friend, Liam Payne, the teenage star hockey player and captain of their small town team.
Good Thing At a Bad Time
Zayn prefers to be on his own. It's easier to survive when you don't have to worry about anyone else. Liam leads a large group of people that have taken residence in an abandoned prison. When Zayn wakes up in a prison cell, all he can think about is finding a way out. Liam makes him want to stay.
I See You Babe, But We Are Both Blind
Zayn's fairly certain the world actually hates him. He's got the shittiest luck, and fate seems to want to fuck with him. But maybe that's exactly what he needs.
One Direction returns to London for a break from their Take Me Home Tour in August 2013, and after an unfortunate run-in at a coffee shop, Liam and Zayn find themselves in a fake relationship. Except, it ends up not feeling fake at all.
through the summertime, winter, spring, and fall
They change with the seasons, burning bright during the summer and biting cold during the winter, but that feeling of being in love Zayn found in the summer clings to him through it all.
Angel of Mine
"I'm Zayn, a third year english student, it's my first time here and," he swallows, throat thick with nervousness, "I guess I'm here ‘cause I'm an alcoholic."
Zayn is a recovering alcoholic and Liam is his sponsor.
Die Young, Stay Pretty
Zayn is happy being a hairdresser who minds his own business; that is, until someone called "Liam" has to come in, dragging his friend on the back of a bet. And, really, Zayn didn't stand a chance.
It's Always Darkest Before The Dawn
At a time in his life when Zayn thinks he has forgotten what genuine happiness feels like, Liam comes into the picture and changes everything.
Mad About the Boys
Or: Five times Zayn and Liam cheat Death and then one more time for good measure.
But You Held the Ice
Every time Zayn gets hurt, Liam is there.
Everything On You Intoxicates
Where Zayn maybe stalks that fit guy from his Intro to Lit class on Instagram.
Tangled Up in You
It turns out Zayn’s flatmate is essentially a disney prince. Zayn wonders how this became his life.
kill monsters in the rain
A story where Liam can't get over how great Zayn is at singing and drawing and pretty much everything, how just being near Zayn is enough to make Liam's life a hundred times better, how lucky Liam is to have a best friend just as dedicated to pretending to be a superhero as he is.
it keeps my veins hot (the fire's found a home in me)
or the one where zayn survives a fire and falls in love with the firefighter that saved him.
This Swirling Storm Inside
Or Frozen AU in which Zayn is the heir to the kingdom of Arendelle. He's also trans, and his lifelong dysphoria is finally reaching a breaking point.
I'll Be Strong For You
When Zayn breaks his leg attempting to skateboard over Harry's car, he ends up stuck in the hospital for two weeks. The only thing he doesn't hate about the hospital is the gorgeous volunteer, Liam, who is almost annoyingly sunny and happy. But Liam's got a secret a secret hidden behind his impossibly bright smile.
And You Know For Me, It's Always You
The Gilmore Girls AU I thought would be a good idea and it turns out, it was.
Beautiful Monster
Or, Zayn is a homeless vampire who, unbeknownst to Liam, has been routinely breaking into Liam's van for a warm place to sleep. When Liam catches him in the act things end up going in a direction no one expected. And then shit gets weirder. Because Liam might also be hiding some secrets of his own...
Z.A.Y.N
For six years, international R&B star Liam Payne has topped the charts with his unique, upbeat songs. Even though he’s proud of where he’s gotten himself, he knows he can’t take all the credit; there’s one particular songwriter that goes by the name ‘Icarus Kalim’ that’s played a huge part in his success. Because of the writer’s ability to craft thought provoking tracks that touch Liam in a way he didn’t even know was possible from afar, the celebrity makes a musical exception for ‘Icarus’, buying the man’s songs for himself, even though he swore he would never put his name on something he had no help in creating. But what happens when Liam finally tricks the soulful poet into meeting him after years of not even knowing what the man looks like? Is ‘Icarus’ really all Liam’s made him out to be in his head or will he be unlike anything the singer could’ve ever dreamt up…
I'm Almost Me Again, He's Almost You
(Or, where Liam searches across time and space for the answer to the question: Who the fuck is Zayn?)
A Full Course Meal
Liam had been dreaming about having his own restaurant for a few years. Money was always an issue, though, so when he heard the Food Network was recording a few episodes of Chopped in his city, he let his best friend talk him into participating.
Many things could go wrong along the way; from ruthless rivals to impossible ingredients, from unforgiving judges to his own mind getting in the way.
He spent long nights fretting about the possibilities and still, he never could have guessed what Chopped really had in store for him.
My Lungs and Your Lilac Eyes
This is a love story. It’s an accident, mostly. Nearly all of them are.
You're My Favorite Story
A zombie outbreak leaves Liam teamed up with Zayn, a stranger with a motorcycle who saves Liam's life. Their world has been turned upside down, and all they really have is each other.
Let's Be Alone Together
After getting his heart broken, Liam escapes his life in London by boarding a plane to Amsterdam. Along the way, he finds someone just as lost as him. Together they might just be able to find themselves.
Money Moves
~Fake Engagement AU with Boss!Liam and Secretary!Zayn ~
in the sun
"This man might wander into my dreams, too, some night. Wouldn’t it be nice, if I could pretend we’d met before? I’ve waited a long time, for such a lord.”
Be cruel to me ('cause I'm a fool for you)
Or the one where Zayn is a stressed out single dad, Liam might just be what he needs, Louis and Niall are always happy to babysit and Harry's a loud snorer.
powerless (and i don't care it's obvious)
"Or the one where Zayn and Liam are in love, Liam has another bro female pal that might have been his beard in high school, Zayn has heartbroken sorta past, Liam is a superhero, Louis and Harry are disgustingly in love as Liam and Zayn are and Liam's friends just want him to not-be-a-virgin anymore.)
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aggresivelyfriendly · 4 years ago
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Hello babes!!! OMG, today has been a long week! A wonderful, dream big come true week! HARRY IS SOLO ON THE COVER OF VOGUE! Also, I have a new installment of Tryst for you all based on this 👆photo! Without further ado, I give you...
Scotland!
It's the pose that does it.
She's been so,  mon dieu she hates the moral judgment of the word. But it remains the right one here, in any language. Soo good, since she decided he couldn't give her what she needed, or maybe wasn't ready to, or didn't see her like that. Nothing more than a flying fuck when he got itchy on the road and she was available to scratch.
But here she was, with his encompassing form around her back and his arm causally slung across her collarbone and she could barely keep her lip from between her teeth to smile.
Smile for the camera, Helene. He'd whispered in her ear and she was thankful for their blustery setting the clothing covering her chill bumps.
All day, She'd been trying to keep dry and get some candid shots to go into the vault. Sometimes she wondered why they paid her to take so many images, most of them, a greater preportion than usual, just lived in her computer or Jeff's computer never to be used.
Would they ever release them? To the utter delight and meltdowns of this man's rabid fans.
She gets it, Helene does. What they see in him, she sees it herself often. And she sees more, his dick has made her soul smile on more than one occasion. It didn't start with these libidinous thoughts, it wasn't one of those moments where he was a living lighthouse or hedonism personified. It's the first scene with the imaginary fish and he's having a bit or trouble. He's also cold and wet. Which are two sensations he doesn't love, but seems to include in every damn piece of art he makes. He's throwing the little bean bag onto the rock and it's not meant to be gentle exactly, but he seems irritated, not concerned as you would be for a suicidal fish when you yourself are suicidal. His character at least. Thank god. But his physical discomfort is intruding on his ability to act right now; he's barely holding on. He loses his balance while frustrated and falls into the water, cursing.
Helene will not laugh.
She hides her giggles while they change him. He got his Gucci denim outfit uncomfortably wet. Why would you chose that outfit to go to a watery death? She is overthinking. As always.
He's ready to go again, fresh Gucci down to his drawers, and by the 10th take, he's in the swing.
When Harry nails it, He gives the director and Helene the biggest grin and she's charmed. The lights have turned on and the fog has lifted. He shines.
He is finished with this set up and Helene has just put her gear away. Harry brushes past her to get around a rock and presses an affectionate kiss to the easily accessible top of her head.
"Thanks for coming, Tiny. Know it's cold."
Helene smiles at him, and somebody else with a camera, someone not her, clicks their picture.
It's always weird when she is the subject. She's pretty sure she has more photos with Harry, selfies at least than with any boyfriend she has had, in her life, which flashes before her eyes, with a highlight reel of her beneath Harry, while he turns her around towards the camera.
The arm that was across her scapula, turns her like a top and her stomach flutters with the motion. His motion. His arm has come across her clavicle, like it did in LA, and she comes together like the place in between those bones, a shallow place where her heartbeat is thumping visibly.
She's thrumming.
Not that there is a damn thing she can do about it. He can do about it. Anybody can, they have so much work to do.
The quiver in her chest and bones and betwixt her legs stays with her all day. Through lunch with all the people she's missed on their break, around the lunch Harry's had cooked for them, with all the little flourishes he likes. All the different food needs accommodated, hospitality on show. It's a wonderful midday after a bitter morning, the sun's even peaked through. The whole group brims with happinesss. Helene and her table included, she laughs and kisses Molly's cheek, she's so cute.
She stays away from Harry though, through at least theee set ups, one not involving him where she could see his intention to hover and smell her pent scent. So, she puts distance, physically between them all day, especially when they move on to the shoot at the docks.
She's taking far away shots. It was easier to control the pulse at her center when he was in the loose jumpsuit. Now in the tight sweater vest, where he looks like some movie star from a bygone era, she's struggling.
It's sending her. Fly her to the moon.
So she keeps her distance and captures him from afar. She'd been doing so well.
Still is! She reminds herself.
The day is long because of her longing, but Helene makes it through.
"You coming to the pub." She jumps a bit at his breath near her ear, her hair is stirred by its breeze. She's surprised, she can usually feel his approach 10 paces off.
"No, need my bed." She begs off. She's begging he doesn't press, with those puppy dog eyes and dimples he knows how to wield.
"Really?" He pouts. "Need your company." He insists.
Oh, he's reached for the big ammunition, he's used everything in his arsenal, he's even touching her arm. He turns her again and she knows she going to say yes before he bites his lip and says, "please."
"Qui." She exhales. She'd like to qualify the sigh as resigned, but it's full of breath and melodic.
"Yes!" He presses a kiss to her forehead and squeezes her before he wanders off to gather troops.
So much for distance.
The pub is lovely, if their wine selection a bit limited. She can see why Harry picked this for his fictional island. He has excellent taste and this is so picturesque and any number of stories, real and imagined, could be contained in its Walls.
He tastes excellent.
He's across the room holding court. He's a little drunk, and he's just thrown his head back and she can remember the shape of his Adam's Apple on her tongue, and the taste. God the taste of his skin, especially after a show. Her lips would be raw from the salt afterwards, and dual thirsts would greet her in the morning light. Water with something more mineral from his skin.
Helene gulps her wine and tries to tune back in to the English around her. The mix of accents and the still difficult language is enough for her to have to get her mind out of the gutter intentionally to follow along.
Not the gutter, Harry's room.
She's squinting and translating something someone has said in her head and wondering how many times somebody has refilled her glass when another intoxicant fills her senses.
Harry's hand is on top of her head and then sliding down the back of her hair. It's exactly like he does when his dick is in her mouth. But he's usually not grinning like that.
"Tiny!" He's  so jovial when drunk. "This seat taken?"
There is no seat. It's the end of the booth, there is a small amount of brown leather, and Harry wedges himself onto it and picks up her legs, uncrosses them and lays them over his own to make space. He's solved his own problem and worsened hers.
She quirks a brow at him and he just kisses it like it's totally normal she's basically on his lap among all their colleagues. Only in this group he's made close as family would this not look risqué. Only with him. She's thinks only Sarah and Mitch know about them. Know that the 'know' each other. And they aren't on this shoot.
Nobody is looking at them funny, so she had better stop staring at him.
She tears her eyes away, like the wrapper of a condom, and goes back to translating.
It's useless when he starts running his nails along her thighs. She puts her hand on his to stop him, but he just grips her thigh instead.
It is not a step in the right direction. It's only leads one direction for her thoughts. To the way his huge hands look on her tiny body. The way his palm can cover her whole stomach and his fingers reach her honey pot still. She has photographic evidence. Between that thought and the wine, she needs to leave.
"Where are you going?" He looks very sweet, except the glint in his eye. She narrows hers at him.
"My room."
"Already?" He pouts.
"Qui."
"I can't really leave yet."
"I didn't ask you to."
He tilts his chin. "Maybe not out loud." He whispers just under her breath.
She exhales.
"Will you wait up for me?" He looks up through his lashes.
She can't even answer but her head moves up and down like a teabag into hot water in the morning.
She's boiling.
He grins. And leans up to kiss her cheek. "What room?" He murmurs. She knows he could find out if he wanted, but it would also alert the front desk, which might make it to the media, or worse, a fan with Twitter.
"24" she whispers through the veil of her hair. Pulls away from his tractor beam eyes and smiles at the table. Gives a few hugs and a big wave.
The inn is small, quaint. She's on the second floor, which is the top floor, waiting. Helene's kept her clothes on. The same outfit she has had on all day. Jeans, loose, and a t shirt, her dad trainers. Should she change? She tries to remember what Harry had on at the pub. He had changed a fair few times throughout the day.
She think he was wearing a hoodie, his name emobossed on the breast in some language or another, Gaelic?, and loose light jeans. Dirty vans adorning his feet.
She hopes she ends the night in his jumper, or wakes up and slipes it over her shoulders.
The hours slip away and her eyes have kettlebells attached to them. She's just about to take care of single girl tasks, washing her face and putting on the extra lock when the knock comes.
"I was about to go to bed without you." She leans against the door jamb. She's not purposely jutting her hip.  She's not!
"Ahh," he teases, touches the smudges below her droopy eyes and pulls her blonde hair. "You tired."
"Qui, it's been a long day." She breathes.
"What?" He laughs and pushes her into the room with his hips, "your call time was hours after mine!" He flashes his big green eyes.
"Maybe, but I don't have your stamina." She counters. Harry the athlete raises a brow at her statement.
"I've never had a problem with your endurance."
He let's that lie there, and she can tell both of their mind's are roving over memories of late nights turned into early morning mapping flesh.
"No, I suppose you are right." She goes easy when he pulls her forward and his mouth slides against her like a skeleton key into a waiting lock. She expects the kiss to escalate, but maybe they are both a little tired, exhausted from a long day, while longing for an extended night. His kiss remains deep, full of tingling tongue touches, but doesn't get faster, her back doesn't hit the wall, and there are no stops where she is pressed against or onto furniture.
He has some embedded geography of hotel rooms, because he navigates the suite like the globetrotter he is. They are both fully dressed, and the squeezes and rubs over the fabric are exciting, reminiscent of juvenile contained eagerness. When her knees hit the back of the mattress, Helene decides the adults need to take over and hikes the tucked in button down up and over his head, forgoing the buttons.
The black ink on his golden skin is a trail familiar to her fingers tips and she follows it down, down to the leaves framing his joyful path. She can feel the pressure of his erection on the slide mechanism of his trousers and against the strained teeth tethered together on his zipper. If it wasnt metal, it would unzip itself against the force. She sighs when she pulls him out. His dick makes her so proud every time. She can't imagine what it's like to carry it around.
No wonder he is so self confident, the word cocksure occurs to her and she giggles.
"Are you laughing at me?" He looks down and she's charmed, for all his assuredness, he's still vulnerable. It's why he is so endearing.
"Non," she's got him naked and guides him back to the head aboard. He looks more tired than her suddenly, he had a bigger day, job. She'll keep up the inversion of the evening, she can recall no other time together where she had clothes on while he was naked. "I was just think how much I appreciate your dick."
"And it made you laugh?" Oh he's still a little offended.
Helene will have to make it up to him. She ruts against his lap and takes stock.
He's half mast. Which is a rare state for him, in her experience. She nuzzles into his lap and laps from his base to tip. She can feel the plumping under her tongue and decides that's not quite adequate.
She can fit him all the way like this. It won't last, so she takes advantage and mentally pats herself on the back as she seems to expand her capacity as he swells. Once she can't muzzle her nose into his patch of hair anymore she pulls off with a gasp and looks up to his panting face.
"I wasn't laughing at you," she nods towards his bobbing shafts. "In my head, I thought how I'm proud of your dick, and decided it was the wrong word. But the right feeling." Helene put him back in her mouth with her tongue extended out, and stroked him from her throat to the squirming tip.
He's chuckling now and she smiles with her eyes at him. "You're proud of my dick?" His dimples are the size of salad plates.
"Qui, aren't you?" She flashes her brows while She straddles his lap. She's not sure she's satisfied her mouth hunger for him, but they have all night.
"Well...." He blushes, which makes her giggle. She's fully naked on his bare dick and he's blushing.
"Know you are." She whispers in his ear. "You have every reason to be."
"Mmmhmmm." He could be responding to her statement or her rocking over his lap. If one of them tilted just so....
"You've been cocky!" She emphasizes that by moving her hips to an almost position. "Enough before."
He looks just a touch frustrated.
"Should I show you how proud I am?" She slips the tip in, just the tip. Not quite to the popping point. It's a tantalizing suspension, just rocking while his eyelashes flutter. "Show you why you deserve to be cocky?"
"Mmmmm," he hums, vision now between their legs, mesmerized. "Please." He breathes and looks at her.
"Do we need a condom?" She's not sure how active he's been.
"Not for me." He grabs her hips and tries to push her down, as tantalizing as the pop of a champagne bottle, the moment of jubilant anticipation.
"Better safe than sorry!" she dismounts and grabs a skin. He breathes a breath like he is frustrated.
"Oh, Cherie, ne t'inquiète pas!" She teases and strokes firmly, guiding his foreskin over the sensitive tip. "We're only beginning." He helps her roll it down and lifts her thighs to press against the headboard on either side of him. She's glad it's padded. Harry's done waiting, or being gentle and shy. She can't even acknowledge the pop of their joining she loves, she's too busy catching up to the rough thrust of his pelvis up and into her own. "Merde!"
"Mmmmhmmmm." He hums and catches her lips with his own, a net to butterflies. It's soft, slow and sensual, in opposition to the bruising hold he has on her hips. He can handle her with one of his big hands. The other has found its place on her sensitive nipples. This escalated so fast she thinks the ending will follow the beginning with no middle to enjoy. She was hoping to fuck him slow.
Her hands slide down the headboard, it's coarse beneath her hands in comparison to the hair that fills her hands in the next moment. She pulls his neck back a little roughly. "Wait."
"For?" He keeps working her over his dick and it's compelling, and she loves it, but he's showing her why her makes her proud, and that wasn't tonight's lesson.
"I want to come."
"Good, that's what I want to." He hits her spot unerringly. And she's nearly convinced.
"No, non, on your tongue." She has to forcibly take herself off him. She lifts her knees and places her hands on his shoulders to hoist herself up. It's a favorable arrangement, her legs as long as his torso. "Allez." She suggests and his answer is a smile and the extension of his tongue right up her slit.
Helene has to grab the headboard to stay upright. She knew she was on the way. But how close she was to her journey is even clearer when his hands draw her ass cheeks apart and he's spreading her wetness over both holes while manipulating her clit with his tongue.
When he fits his mouth over her hood, creates suction and licks while fitting two fingers inside her separated by just inches of skin accessing both holes, she clenches without prologue. "Fuck." She rides his face until her orgasm has ridden out its welcome and he pulls his fragrant hand out to aid its twin in holding her steady until she's clutching the headboard and coming against his tongue again. Her wriggling at the over sensitivity only aiding his quest for number two.
She slides down his body slow and she's done, until she remembers her intention when his dripping shaft, wet with her and leaking a few drops for himself, prods her ass. She was gonna run this show, swing her hips like a pendulum so he'd enter a trance like state while inside her, the suspended animation of ecstasy. Helene needed to come so she would be calm enough to do it. To hypnotize him, slow and sweet.
She just needs to control the tempo, bang out a rhythmic unhurried beat on his hips.
It only takes a minor shift in alignment to throw them off their orbit. Send his mercury into retrograde with her pussy. She slides over the tip with ease, she's wet enough that she doesn't even have to work him in like normal. Though it still prickles her nerves with that familiar addictive burn she's only had with him and a few others. Those that pushed her boundaries. She's a globetrotter when she fucks Harry though. Her exhale would be loud if his groan wasn't louder.
"Fuck, Helene!" He looks down again and she decides now that she has given him dinner, he needs a show. Time to mesmerize him.She flexes her pelvis, rounding back and holds the headboard hard to find her beat. It's a slow jam, all the flavor of a samba. She's got a circle like a Ferris wheel and he's stuttering her name like he's afraid of heights but loving the ride.
"Again." Helene demands, her head against his forehead.
"What?" Harry's staring at her motion hard, distracted. Helene stops, she wants his attention, his eyes, his mouth, his dick, every inch of him focused on her, including those inside her. She rides the circle to the top, just his tip inside, and hovers. No other passengers are getting on, she just wants him to admire the view. She clenches and knows he can see it when he shivers.
Helene uses her nose to nudge his gaze up. He looks up, down, up, again. She pulls out enough to nearly unseat him and his fingers dig into her hips. "What?"  He repeats.
"My ñame." She looks him in the eye and presses her panting mouth to his while she slides all the way down, his pubic hair against her swollen clit. "Say my name."
He breathes it out, like a prayer, "Helene!" While she takes them to the top again. "Helene!" He shouts in exhalations when she slams down to his pelvis harder. "Helene!" She swings back up slow, and drops like they've found themselves on a rollercoaster.
By now her name is a chant, "Helene, Helene, helene, fuck Helene!" He's squeezing and staring and licking her lips sloppily and she can tell he doesn't know if he should stop her, try to help her along so they can get off together, or just cum.
He looks desperate to finish.
So she stops, and he looks frantic. "Baby, please!"
Helene shrugs, kisses him and grinds herself against him inside on her spot and outside on begging pleasure zone until she's almost there. She squeezes him rhythmically to keep him ready.
She's almost there. They can hop off this ride together now. So she starts the ascent to the top again, slow circles until he's panting and chanting again, and then it's a free fall ride for them both.
Helene loses her stomach and screams his name in harmony with his chorus of hers.
Their sweaty foreheads rest together, until he is chuckling.
"Quoi?" She catches her breath enough to ask.
"I was just thinking, I definitely won't need a photo to remember this one!"
She feels proud, but she knows there is an image he's forgetting, one that will remind her of this Scottish adventure forever.
Months later, they've found themselves together, like together together, when she comes across it. She posts it, with a longing thank you.
When Harry gets home from set, he's smiling like a Cheshire Cat. "You trying to tell me something?" He shoves his phone at her with the open Instagram.
Helene shrugs. She's feeling proud, even prouder than she felt a year ago.
And she wants to show him.
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twoidiotwriters1 · 4 years ago
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Written In The Stars XCVIII (Harry Potter xF!Oc)
A/N: Updated: I will be dropping the next few chapters this week, so stay tuned -Danny
Words: 4,487
Series’ Masterlist
Previous Chapter // Next Chapter
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Chapter Thirty-Three: The Final Task.
"He really trusts Snape, even though he knows he was a Death Eater?" Ron asked.
"Yes," said Harry.
"Rita Skeeter," Hermione mumbled rubbing her forehead with both palms.
"How can you be worrying about her now?" said Ron.
"I'm not worrying about her. I'm just thinking... remember what she said to me in the Three Broomsticks? 'I know things about Ludo Bagman that would make your hair curl.' This is what she meant, isn't it? She reported his trial, she knew he'd passed information to the Death Eaters. And Winky too, remember... 'Ludo Bagman's a bad wizard.' Mr Crouch would have been furious he got off, he would have talked about it at home."
"Yeah, but Bagman didn't pass information on purpose, did he? And Fudge reckons Madame Maxime attacked Crouch?"
"Yeah, but he's only saying that because Crouch disappeared near the Beauxbatons carriage."
"Makes no sense because then all her students were there to see, and Hagrid as well, unless he thinks Hagrid's unreliable too..." Mel added.
"We never thought of her, did we?" said Ron. "Mind you, she's definitely got giant blood, and she doesn't want to admit it —"
"Of course she doesn't! Look what happened to Hagrid when Rita found out about his mother. Look at Fudge, jumping to conclusions about her, just because she's part giant. Who needs that sort of prejudice? I'd probably say I had big bones if I knew that's what I'd get for telling the truth."
"I'm hardly a supporter of liars," Mel sighed, "but I'm with 'Mione in this one, the wizarding community can be pretty judgy when they want to."
"We haven't done any practising!" Hermione gave a start, looking at the time on her wristwatch. "We were going to do the Impediment Curse! We'll have to really get down to it tomorrow! Come on, Harry, you need to get some sleep."
Hermione and Ron stood up as well as them, then Mel stopped, watching them climb up the stairs. Harry noticed and stayed behind as well, giving her a questioning look.
"I wonder," She said quietly. "How different our lives would be if any of those things had never happened... D'you think it'd be completely different from what it is now?"
"Maybe," Harry shrugged. "My parents would be alive, we wouldn't be neighbors..."
"We would still be friends, though, wouldn't we? But maybe not best friends," She frowned. "Is it wrong that I'm a little glad that's not the case?"
"No," He smiled. "But we're not exactly friends, are we?"
"You know what I mean," She mumbled.
Harry got closer and kissed her temple. Having no height difference really was convenient for them. He finally mumbled a goodnight and left, Mel soon following his example and going to her bedroom.
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"You're supposed to be studying for your exams as well, you don't need to put all your efforts into helping me," Harry told them one afternoon after lunch. "I don't mind practising on my own for a while, you know?"
"Don't worry about it," Hermione said, "at least we'll get top marks in Defense Against the Dark Arts. We'd never have found out about all these hexes in class."
"Good training for when we're all Aurors," said Ron casually.
Mel and Harry shared an amused look.
"Hermione's right," She added. "I don't do any of these in my lessons either, it's more of an academic thing, most unusual when I do practical magic. I read and read until my eyes get all heavy. I know a lot of things about magic but it's not quite the same as knowing how to do it."
"I bet it's ten times easier than this," Harry groaned, cleaning his robes after falling on his butt for the third time thanks to a hex he hadn't been able to avoid.
"You're still doing really well, though," Hermione said, reading the list she'd made to make sure Harry had a full training. "Some of these are bound to come in handy."
"Come and look at this," Ron was looking out the window, squinting. "What's Malfoy doing?"
They all huddled up in front of the window. Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle were sitting down the shadow of a big willow tree, Malfoy was holding his hand up to his mouth and speaking into it, the other two were looking around with silly smirks on their faces.
"He looks like he's using a walkie-talkie," said Harry.
"He can't be– I've told you, those sorts of things don't work around Hogwarts," Hermione shrugged it off, quickly losing interest. "Come on, Harry, let's try that Shield Charm again."
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"Look at this," Harry said in a tone of exasperation, he was reading Sirius' letter to Mel. "'If Voldemort is really getting stronger again, my priority is to ensure your safety. He cannot hope to lay hands on you while you are under Dumbledore's protection, but all the same, take no risks: Concentrate on getting through that maze safely, and then we can turn our attention to other matters.' Makes me sound like I have no control!"
"He's just stressed like we all are," Mel responded lazily, barely looking up from her Charms essay. "Give it a month and he'll be back to his usual self, joking about eating rats and all..."
"I already did all I could to prepare myself," Harry folded the letter and prompted his head on one hand, watching her as she continued writing. "The task is tomorrow, I don't think there's anything else I can do..."
"You sound extremely calm about it," She said.
"I just think that whatever comes, at least this time I'm prepared. Besides, it's the end of the tournament, which means..." He raised his free hand and grabbed a lock of her hair, playing with it like he often did. "It's all going to be over, and Skeeter will be out of here."
"We won't have to worry about our love lives being published for everyone to see..." She nodded.
"And I'll be able to take you to Hogsmeade on a proper date and all..." He smiled, his mind drifting to a brighter future.
"What a gentleman," Mel put down her quill and admired her work with pride. "I'm all done! No more homework!" She looked up to meet his gaze. She frowned a little, slightly confused. "Is everything okay?"
"Espectacular," Harry smiled broadly, releasing the lock of hair and kissing her cheek.
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"Snuffles sent me a good-luck card!" Harry said, sounding delighted.
She leaned closer to examine it. It was a piece of parchment with a paw print that Mel found adorable, Harry seemed to like it as well.
"Emily didn't send anything though, d'you think she dislikes me now because of all those articles?" He asked jokingly.
"Oh yes, I reckon she must hate you for being such a conceited little git," Mel snorted.
Hermione choked on her drink as she held onto the Daily Prophet an owl delivered to her a few seconds earlier.
"What?" asked her three friends.
"Nothing..." Hermione tried to hide the paper, but Ron was quicker.
"No way," He breathed. "Not today. That old cow..."
"What?" Harry insisted. "Rita Skeeter again?"
"Bad news?" Mel raised a brow.
"No," Ron said, hastily pushing the paper out of sight.
"It's about me, isn't it?" said Harry.
"No," said Ron, but his voice broke a little in the end.
Just as if on queue Draco Malfoy shouted from across the Great Hall:
"Hey, Potter! Potter! How's your head? You feeling all right? Sure you're not going to go berserk on us?"
"Oh, bloody hell," Mel frowned. "What is it now?"
"Let me see it," Harry turned to Ron. "Give it here."
Harry took the paper from a very reluctant Ron. A picture of him was displayed on the front page, with the title right under it:
HARRY POTTER "DISTURBED AND DANGEROUS"
The boy who defeated He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is unstable and possibly dangerous, writes Rita Skeeter, Special Correspondent. Alarming evidence has recently come to light about Harry Potter's strange behaviour, which casts doubts upon his suitability to compete in a demanding competition like the Triwizard Tournament, or even to attend Hogwarts School.
Potter, the Daily Prophet can exclusively reveal, regularly collapses at school, and is often heard to complain of pain in the scar on his forehead (a relic of the curse with which You-Know-Who attempted to kill him). On Monday last, midway through a Divination lesson, your Daily Prophet reporter witnessed Potter storming from the class, claiming that his scar was hurting too badly to continue studying.
It is possible, say top experts at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, that Potter's brain was affected by the attack inflicted upon him by You-Know-Who, and that his insistence that the scar is still hurting is an expression of his deep-seated confusion.
"He might even be pretending," said one specialist. "This could be a plea for attention."
The Daily Prophet, however, has unearthed worrying facts about Harry Potter that Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, has carefully concealed from the wizarding public.
"Potter can speak Parseltongue," reveals Draco Malfoy, a Hogwarts fourth year. "There were a lot of attacks on students a couple of years ago, and most people thought Potter was behind them after they saw him lose his temper at a dueling club and set a snake on another boy. It was all hushed up, though. But he's made friends with werewolves and giants too. We think he'd do anything for a bit of power."
Parseltongue, the ability to converse with snakes, has long been considered a Dark Art. Indeed, the most famous Parselmouth of our times is none other than You-Know-Who himself. A member of the Dark Force Defense League, who wished to remain unnamed, stated that he would regard any wizard who could speak Parseltongue "as worthy of investigation. Personally, I would be highly suspicious of anybody who could converse with snakes, as serpents are often used in the worst kinds of Dark Magic, and are historically associated with evildoers." Similarly, "anyone who seeks out the company of such vicious creatures as werewolves and giants would appear to have a fondness for violence."
Albus Dumbledore should surely consider whether a boy such as this should be allowed to compete in the Triwizard Tournament. Some fear that Potter might resort to the Dark Arts in his desperation to win the tournament, the third task of which takes place this evening.
"Gone off me a bit, hasn't she?" said Harry casually as Mel finished reading, to which she only sighed.
"How did she know your scar hurt in Divination?" Ron asked. "There's no way she was there, there's no way she could've heard —"
"The window was open," said Harry. "I opened it to breathe."
"You were at the top of North Tower!" Hermione exclaimed. "Your voice couldn't have carried all the way down to the grounds!"
"Well, you're the one who's supposed to be researching magical methods of bugging!" said Harry. "You tell me how she did it!"
"No idea," Mel shook her head. "Unless she's learned to train insects and have them all around the school, which would give the bugging a whole new meaning..."
"Bugging," said Hermione, deep in thought. "It's like... like..."
"Are you all right?" said Ron.
"Yes... I've had an idea– I think I know... because then no one would be able to see... even Moody... and she'd have been able to get onto the window ledge... but she's not allowed... she's definitely not allowed... I think we've got her! Just give me two seconds in the library — just to make sure!" She stood up at once and left the Great Hall in a hurry.
"Oi! We've got our History of Magic exam in ten minutes–! Blimey," Ron turned back to them, "she must really hate that Skeeter woman to risk missing the start of an exam. What're you going to do in Binns's class, Harry — read again?"
"S'pose so," Harry shrugged.
"I wish I'd know what she found," Mel said, looking out to where Hermione had gone. "Maybe if I go after her..." But her thoughts were interrupted as Professor McGonagall came to them.
"Potter, the champions are congregating in the chamber of the Hall after breakfast, Miss Dumbledore, you and Flint are needed at the entrance now," Before Mel could object she added, "Your teacher has been notified and knows you'll be arriving at your examination a bit late, as well as Flint. He'll give you extra time."
"But the task's not till tonight!" Harry's eyes widened.
"I'm aware of that, Potter. The champions' families are invited to watch the final task, you know. This is simply a chance for you to greet them."
Harry and Mel stared at her in disbelief after she left.
"She doesn't expect the Dursleys to turn up, does she?" Harry asked in horror.
"Dunno," said Ron. "I'd better hurry, I'm going to be late for Binns. See you later..."
"I'd better go too," Mel sighed, getting up as well. "I wouldn't worry if I were you, I doubt the Dursleys would have the nerve to show up." She kissed the top of his head, Harry gave her an anxious smile and she walked away a bit reluctantly. At the entrance she was met with a lovely sight:
Mrs Weasley, Bill, and her own mother were there, next to them were Mr and Mrs Diggory, a woman that looked a lot like Fleur along with Fleur's little sister, and two wizards that could only be Krum's parents.
"Mum!" She ran up to the woman and hugged her tightly, doing the same with Mrs Weasley and Bill. "What are you doing here?"
"Can't miss the last task now, can we?" Her mother smiled. "I tried to convince Remus to come as well, but he thought that people wouldn't react kindly after the whole scandal of last year."
Mel's attention got caught on three figures on the other side of the hall. Erick was standing next to his cousin, and on Jo's side, there was a very old man on a wheelchair. They seemed to be arguing with him.
"I'll be with you in a moment," She told her mother and the Weasleys. "Hold on..."
She walked up to Erick shyly and cleared her throat, the boy gave a start and turned to look at her.
"Yes?" He asked in a grumpy voice.
"We have to take the families to the chamber... is everything okay?"
"No– Yes," He looked over his shoulder and back at her. "My Grandad had a relapse yesterday but insisted on coming anyway. Joseph and I had to force him to sit so he doesn't tire himself out, he's throwing a tantrum."
"We can always send him back via floo," Joseph stepped in, half-joking. "Hi, Mel!"
"Hi," Mel beamed, she couldn't help but feel a little excited every time he'd talk to her.
"Well well," Mr Flint spoke over his grandson's shoulder. "You must be Miss Dumbledore!"
"Good morning Sir," She tilted her head to see him.
"My, you're pretty!" He laughed loudly, Mel found it endearing. "I see the resemblance between you and your father– Great man he was, he used to visit my store often. How's your mother?"
"She's right over there," She pointed over her shoulder. "Came to wish Harry good luck, he's my friend, you see."
"I've heard," He looked at his grandson with a knowing smile. "Oh! Haven't introduced myself, have I? Eliot Flint at your service dear girl– You've made quite the impression in my family. Erick's told me about you, and Joseph mentions you at least twice in all his letters!"
"Oh!" Mel didn't know how to respond to that, so instead, she looked at the boys.
Joseph spoke first, noticing the way Erick was positively glaring at his Grandfather.
"You're a great host," He admitted, "I dare say better than my cousin..."
"Thanks," Erick replied with a scoff.
"Well, it's true!" Joseph laughed. "I barely got to talk to you during the school year, and even then you weren't much of a talker. I'm surprised you even mentioned Mel to our Grandad– Mind you, Mel, he doesn't talk about anyone at all, sometimes I suspect he fancies–"
"I talk enough!" He snapped. "Now, if you excuse us we have to take the families to the chamber– You two stay here. Let's go..." Erick grabbed Mel's arm and pulled her away.
"You know," She chuckled, "there's nothing wrong with caring about people."
"I care about people," He replied. "Which is why I feel like I've aged five years this term."
She laughed, stopping in the middle of the large group. They all turned to look at her, which caused her to feel a bit self-conscious. Luckily for her, Erick had no problems with talking to crowds.
"If you could follow us to the chamber, you'll see your kids in a moment," He said in his best formal and controlled voice. Mel got closer to her mum.
"Harry'll be ever so pleased about you coming! He was dreading the idea of his aunt and uncle..."
"The day a Dursley sets a foot in this castle hell will freeze," Her mother laughed.
"I just couldn't miss a chance to come back, really," Bill explained. "All is exactly as I remember..."
Once in the chamber, the families divided into smaller groups. The champions walked in, all except for Harry. Erick left to present his exams and she was about to go as well when he came in, looking around curiously before his eyes landed on the Weasleys and her mum. Then he approached them with a broad smile.
"Surprise!" Mrs Weasley said once he got to them. "Thought we'd come and watch you, Harry!"
"You all right? Charlie wanted to come, but he couldn't get time off. He said you were incredible against the Horntail."
"My little boy!" Emily pulled Harry in for a hug. "You've been so brave this whole year! All the things you've done– never been more proud of you!"
"This is really nice of you," Harry muttered. "I thought for a moment — the Dursleys —"
"Hmm," said Mrs Weasley sternly.
"Sorry for that," Emily laughed, finally letting go. "But the Dursleys won't get to call themselves your family on these grounds as long as I'm alive."
Mel watched them interact, in a way, they were her little family. She couldn't wait to tell her mother about the recent events regarding her relationship with the boy.
"It's great being back here," said Bill. "Haven't seen this place for five years. Is that picture of the mad knight still around? Sir Cadogan?"
"Oh yeah," said Harry and Mel at the same time.
"And the Fat Lady?"
"She was here in my time," mentioned Mrs Weasley. "She gave me such a telling off one night when I got back to the dormitory at four in the morning —"
"What were you doing out of your dormitory at four in the morning?" Bill gaped.
"Your father and I had been for a nighttime stroll. He got caught by Apollyon Pringle — he was the caretaker in those days — your father's still got the marks."
"Fancy giving us a tour?" said Bill, looking at Mel and Harry.
"Yeah, okay," said Harry.
"Oh, I can't," She pouted, "my exams..."
"How about we walk you to class?" Emily offered. "This place is full of memories! I'd love to see the halls one more time..."
As they moved to the door, Amos Diggory spoke to Harry.
"There you are, are you?" He sneered. "Bet you're not feeling quite as full of yourself now Cedric's caught you up on points, are you?"
"What?" Harry stopped.
"Ignore him," said Cedric, giving his father a look. "He's been angry ever since Rita Skeeter's article about the Triwizard Tournament — you know when she made out you were the only Hogwarts champion."
"Didn't bother to correct her, though, did he?" said Amos Diggory. "Still... you'll show him, Ced. Beaten him once before, haven't you?"
"Rita Skeeter goes out of her way to cause trouble, Amos!" Mrs Weasley said. "I would have thought you'd know that, working at the Ministry!"
"Honestly Amos, believing a word she says it's the same as asking to a dog what he thinks about the weather," Emily added.
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Mel didn't need the extra time, in the end, she finished her exam at the same time as the rest of the group. Ron asked her if Harry's relatives were in fact there and she answered with a mysterious 'you'll see'.
When they went to the Great Hall for lunch, Ron was surprised to see his brother and mum there.
"Mum — Bill! What're you doing here?" He looked at Mel's mum. "Hi, Em!"
"Come to watch Harry in the last task!" said Mrs Weasley. "I must say, it makes a lovely change, not having to cook. How was your exam?"
"Oh... okay. Couldn't remember all the goblin rebels' names, so I invented a few. It's all right," Ron said to calm her mother's spirits, "they're all called stuff like Bodrod the Bearded and Urg the Unclean; it wasn't hard."
Hermione turned up a bit later, Harry tried to find out what she'd discovered about Skeeter, however, before he could finish his sentence Hermione shut him up, her attention moving to the mothers of her friends.
"Hello, Hermione," said Mrs Weasley, rather coldly.
"Hello," said Hermione shyly.
"Mrs Weasley, you didn't believe that rubbish Rita Skeeter wrote in Witch Weekly, did you? Because Hermione's not my girlfriend," Harry was quick to point out.
"Oh! No — of course, I didn't!" Mrs Weasley blushed lightly.
"Was it all rubbish, though?" Emily asked pointedly.
"What'd you mean?" Mel asked.
"Dunno, something about you and that Diggory boy," The woman fought back a smirk, "and a french boy..."
Mel inhaled sharply and choked on her food. She shook her head energetically as Hermione patted her back harshly.
"That was rubbish too, yes," Harry added, kicking Ron's leg under the table so he wouldn't speak.
"Okay then," Emily replied. "Not that I wouldn't support you, but if my daughter's dating someone, I'd hate to find out through the Daily Prophet."
"Oh, yes," Mel glared at her mother playfully. "I'm well aware of how invested you are in my love life."
Emily winked at her without saying anything, Harry gave her a questioning look but Mel shook her head, brushing it off like it was nothing.
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The way the Emily’s eyes shone throughout the day helped Harry picture her at fifteen-years-old, walking around the castle with his parents and Matthew, much like Mel: happy and beautiful. Carefree, with dreams to spare.
Mel's exams went by without any troubles, and by the time they had the feast, she sat next to him, holding his hand under the table while no one else was looking in an attempt to ease his nerves.
"Ladies and gentlemen," Dumbledore said. "In five minutes' time, I will be asking you to make your way down to the Quidditch field for the third and final task of the Triwizard Tournament. Will the champions please follow Mr Bagman down to the stadium now."
As they got up, the Gryffindors broke into applause for Harry; the Weasleys, Emily and Hermione wished him good luck, and they finally left the Great Hall to enter the quiet evening.
"How're your nerves?" Erick asked her. "I must say you're keeping it together better than before..."
"I've grown used to the knot in my stomach," She shrugged. "After the tenth time, this turns into a routine."
He chuckled lowly.
"My Grandad liked you, apparently you reminded him a lot to one of his girlfriends."
"Oh," Mel frowned, "...thanks?"
"I didn't know how to respond to that either."
"I think he's nice," She said. "Very lovely."
"Yeah," Erick replied, a look of fondness betraying his usual cold demeanour.
"Hey," Harry quickly caught up with them, looking considerably more nervous than before. "You remember what the jelly-leg jinx counter spell was? Because I keep trying to remember and–"
"Glasses," Mel scowled. "Don't do that, if you keep repeating things over and over you'll get them all mixed up!"
"Focus on the fact that you got here in a quite respectable place," Erick added. "Unexpected, but definitely something to be proud of."
"Er, thanks," Harry said.
"You just pull through this one, then it'll be over," She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "You'll be okay."
He nodded, his eyes fixed on the tall maze ahead. Erick and Mel got separated again, the boy had to guide the students to their seats making sure there were no empty spaces and Mel was with the champions.
She walked past Moody and brushed past him, a wave of something hit her and she stopped in place, feeling extremely dizzy.
"Is everything all right, Miss Dumbledore?" Moody asked, eyeing her up in a calculating way.
"I..." She stared at him, wondering why the feeling reminded her so much to Riddle's diary. "Yeah... just nervous, I think."
Moody nodded once and kept walking, Mel did the same.
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"This way!" Erick told the students as he walked backwards. "McLaggen, if you can muster a bit of brain to pay attention to what I'm saying, there's a seat right behind you– No, you idiot, I said behind–!"
"Hello?" Emily said to the boy. "You may not know me, but I think you've been reading my books all summer... I'm Emily Sultens."
Erick's cheeks turned pink at the statement. He cleared his throat and raised a stiff hand to shake hers.
"Nice to meet you, ma'am," He said a bit hurriedly.
"Just wanted to let you know, if there's anything we can do to help– more books, or even have you over a few days during summer... I'm happy to help, kid."
"Thanks," He replied clumsily. "I should- uh, I should go back..."
"Sure," Emily smiled, moving out of his way. "See you..."
Erick didn't respond, he merely nodded and walked back to where the champions and his teachers were.
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"We are going to be patrolling the outside of the maze," Professor McGonagall explained. "If you get into difficulty, and wish to be rescued, send red sparks into the air, and one of us will come and get you, do you understand?"
The champions nodded.
"Off you go, then!" said Bagman.
Mel gave Harry one last hug before leaving.
"Good luck," She said. "I'll be looking after you."
"I know," He smiled. "You always are."
"And I'm brilliant at it," The girl grinned, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before finally stepping back.
"Ready?" Erick asked her as they were to part in opposite directions around the maze.
"I think so," Mel replied, holding onto her wand tightly.
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Next Chapter —>
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wildegreenlight · 5 years ago
Text
Ready to Believe
A/N: What better reason to come out of semi-retirement than the Birthday of our lovely ginger knight, our passionate sassy king, Ron Weasley!! This little plot bunny came to me earlier in the week and (apparently there are miracles in this world), I was able to finish it in time!! 
Thanks to the fantabulous @trademarkblue for helping me polish this little nugget! As I told you earlier, the only thing I value more than your fic expertise is your friendship! Thanks as always to @callieskye for cheering me on and always being willing to read my ramblings! Love you both!!
If there is real magic out there, this may actually motivate me to finish my other WIPs!! (Not sure if anyone is “ready to believe” that!)
March 1, 1995
Even as the sentence was forming in his mind, before he opened his mouth to give it breath, he told himself to stop, to change the subject, to stuff his face with cake and move on. But it was his birthday, and if you can’t have a little fun on your birthday, then what’s the point?
“For someone so smart you sure can be thick sometimes, you know that?” 
And just like that, they were in the middle of a row. To be perfectly honest, he wasn’t exactly sure how it had started. Ok, maybe he had an idea; it had been only a matter of time. Since their big blow up at Christmas, they had settled into an uncharacteristic period of peace. One that couldn’t hold forever.
“Thick? Because I don’t believe in some silly, childish…” she was waving her hands in that way that meant she was just warming up. 
“ ‘snot silly or childish- it happens to be very real magic.”
“It happens to be absurd.” 
Ron knew he should probably just let it go. There wasn’t any real chance that he would change her mind, or even if he did, she certainly would never admit it. 
“You are the only person I know, the only person I could ever think of, that could attend an actual SCHOOL OF MAGIC and not believe in magic.”
“Of course I believe in REAL magic: spells and potions and charms, but wishes, birthday or otherwise, are not real- they don’t work!”
“They are and they do.” 
As he leaned back on the opposite end of the sofa from her, hands behind his head, he wondered if there was any way that she could be enjoying this as much as he was. Maybe it was weird. It’s not like he enjoyed real fighting:not like the mess with the rat last year or how he was such an ass to Harry over the bleeding Goblet of Fuckedupedness. But this? This was like chess. Anticipating her moves, countering with his own. 
“Well if that’s the case,” the twinkle in her eye made it obvious that she thought she had the winning move, “ why doesn’t everyone just wish for a fortune on their birthday?”
Well played, but not quite good enough.
“Doesn’t work like that.”
“Because it doesn’t work at all.”
“Does too, but there’s rules.” Hermione was smart, probably the smartest person he knew when it came to books, but she didn’t now loads of things about the Magical world because, well some things just aren’t written down. He knew it irritated her, and he had learned to not call her out on it, especially in front of other people. That was another thing about Hermione, she seemed real cocky about her abilities, but she was always secretly worried that she was an outsider.
“Such as?”
“First off, it can’t be a “thing” - like no brooms or galleons or toys.  And no wishing for more wishes,” he ignored her exaggerated eye roll, ”or combining a bunch of stuff into one. You get one a year and only on your birthday.”
“And let me guess: you can’t tell anyone what your wish is or it won’t come true?”
“ ‘Course you can’t tell, that would ruin it.”
“Anything else? Or have you thoroughly enlightened me?”
“Just that you really have to want it,” he turned toward her then to add emphasis to his point, “like REALLY want it.”
“Obviously. And so there’s no way for you to really prove it to me because you, very conveniently,” she turned to face him challengingly,  “can’t tell me about what your wish is.”
So there it was. She needed proof, but the only proof he could give her would negate the very thing he was trying to prove. It was rare, but in rows, just like in chess, when you aren’t checked, and you have no more legal moves, you end up with a draw.  It wasn’t quite as satisfying as a straight-out win, but he suddenly knew how to make it even better. 
“No one can prove to you what you’re not ready to believe.”
@@@@@@@
March 1, 1997
“Can anyone tell me what this is?”
Slughorn made a flourish and the slightly petulant students crowded forward. Ron stared into the cauldron- its surface was shiny and swirly like one the giant lollies at Honeydukes. It looked so similar in fact, that he was surprised that its fragrance was anything but sugary.  To be honest, the scent was hard to describe , but more than familiar. There was a woodish smell like the worn lines of a broomstick after a fly, or the tickle of dusty shavings in his Dad’s shed. And that? That was a warm, wool smell-like a Christmas jumper-one that’s been worn- with a hint of almond shampoo and a bit of ink stain on the sleeve…
Bloody hell!! He knew that smell! It was the old jumper that he’d let Hermione use last year! She’d argued with him at first, but he knew she was just as cold as she was stubborn, so he made her take it. When she’d returned it the next day, he’d lied to himself about being too lazy to clean it - lied to himself about the sudden broom-drop feeling in his gut when he imagined it wrapped around her, covering her; it was almost like he was wrapped around her. He’d lied to himself about how much he loved keeping it in his trunk, relishing how its smell seeped into the rest of his clothes. He’d lied to himself about so many things. Why had it taken him so long to see the truth?
“Oh Ron, no one can prove to you what you aren’t ready to believe,” Hermione touched his shoulder gently, offering him a sad little smile before walking past him out of the classroom.
He turned to follow her, but the whole scene disappeared. There was nothing but darkness. He tried to call for her through the blue-black void, but for some reason he couldn't make a sound. Suddenly he felt like he was choking; he couldn’t catch his breath. Panic. Heart. Pounding. Panic. Flailing. Falling. Panic. He had to get to her, had to tell her, before it was too late
His back hit the ground, hard, dislodging what felt like a bludger from his throat. It was still dark and he had no idea where he might be, yet all he could think of was how to find her. 
Whispers. Faint. Far away. Harry? Slughorn? Had he fainted in the middle of the lesson? Had the cauldron been poisonous? 
Hermione had been close to it-was she safe? Where was she? Why had she walked away? 
Wait...it wasn’t like that. The swirly potion was...months ago. She had...he had...cocked it all up. If he found her, would she listen to him? Would she even look at him?  
Too late. Too late. Too late.
Whispers. Again. Louder. Closer. Harry? Was that...it couldn’t be... Hermione? He had to get to her somehow. It just couldn’t be too late, he wouldn’t let it be.
He tried again to call to her, and this time his desperate plea found a way, crawling through his throat on rusty spurs.
“Er-my-nee” 
@@@
The light was so dim, that for a few confused minutes he wasn’t entirely sure that he had woken up. As his eyes adjusted a bit, he was able to put together the fact that he was lying, more like sitting to be honest, in a hospital wing bed. His head hurt too much to try and piece together the series of events that had ended with him in such a position, but he was curious as to how hurt he actually was.  
Afraid to move too much, Ron risked turning his sore neck gingerly to the right ok, my head’s still attached and to the left what is that? Better yet, who is that? Someone was currently resting their head on the side of his bed. Someone’s curls were in such a state that they were practically spilling into his lap. He didn’t need an OWL in Divination to figure out who it was, but he just couldn’t believe what he saw. Maybe I’m still out.
Truth be told, ever since Christmas he’d been having increasingly vivid dreams about Hermione. It was not unusual for him to wake up in his four-poster sweaty, confused, and disappointed. He reached his hand out and gently brushed his fingers through her disheveled mane. She sure felt real. He inhaled deeply: almonds, wool, ink. He was so relieved he could’ve cried! 
Quite suddenly she jerked her head up from the mattress and he took his hand away like a toddler caught with his hand in the biscuits. He was sure he must look a fright, but, despite the fact that her eyes were as wild as her curls and her face was blotchy with tears, she was the most beautiful sight he could imagine. 
“Hey,” he cringed at his voice, apparently I’ve been gargling with nails. 
“You’re...you’re awake.” A brilliant smile danced across her face, but quickly disappeared, leaving her expression apprehensive.  
“Think so.”
“Oh..sorry. Did I wake you? I shouldn’t...I should go...sorry,” she scrambled to her feet. 
Sorry?! No! He couldn’t, wouldn’t let her go, not now!
“Wait!” He reached out and grabbed her wrist. “Please, don’t go...I...I want you to stay.”
“You do?”
“ ‘Course I do.” 
How could she doubt that? Oh, yeah...why shouldn’t she doubt it...doubt me? 
“Alright, I’ll stay...for a bit. I just don’t want to keep you from resting. Are you sure you’re ok? Do you need anything?” 
Just you...probably too soon to say that, right? 
“Some water would be great.” 
She immediately began to fill a glass from the pitcher on his bedside table.  
“And.” he added, noticing the flush that began to show in her cheeks as she turned back to him, “maybe you could tell me…”
“Tell you what?”
If you’re as nervous as I am.
“What happened?” As he took the glass of water from her, their fingers brushed together. He held his breath, urging the moment to linger. 
“You were...poisoned; Harry saved you,” her voice broke and she pulled her hand away to wipe at her eyes. “Do you remember anything?” 
“Not much...I think it’s my birthday...or was...not sure how long I was out.”
“I think it still is, technically.” 
“Ok...well, that’s good”
“Sorry.”
“For?”
“I didn’t get you anything,” she sat down again, looking very tired and very sad.
“Didn’t really expect you to,” he swallowed the last of the water and tried to steady his resolve, “I know I’ve been a real prat...and I want you to know that I...well..I shouldn’t have been.”
“No...it was me...I’ve been horrid to you and I...well I...and then you almost,” she was crying in earnest now and it didn’t make him feel vindicated like he had imagined it might, it just made him want to comfort her.
“We were both not so great...but that doesn’t mean we can’t fix it, yeah?” 
She smiled a tentative little smile that made his heart clinch in a way that was probably not entirely good for his current medical  condition.  
“Yeah...that sounds good.”
He knew that he owed her more, owed himself more, but it wasn’t time yet. Maybe he was a coward; he didn’t want to push his luck, not when he had her here, actually looking at him and talking to him and seemingly glad to do so. For now he would have to be satisfied with old patterns: smooth it over with a little humor.
“Brilliant! Now if you tell me you have some  biscuits on ya, it will be a perfect birthday after all!” 
She laughed and shook her head God I’ve missed that sound! 
“If only I had a cake,  you would still have,” she glanced at the clock, “three minutes to make your birthday wish.”
“Cake would be nice, but I already made my wish this morning.”
“Really?”
“Yup.” Before I even opened my gifts...been planning it for weeks. 
“I know it’s crazy of me to ask, but what did you wish for?” As she leaned closer, he was intoxicated by her: the way the dim light twinkled in her eyes, the way her hair looked like a frizzy halo. 
“Hermione! You know that is entirely against the rules!” 
“Of course, how silly of me!”  And that eye roll...how have I lived without that?  “Can I at least ask if it came true?”
“Yes.” Definitely got my wish.  
“Yes, I can ask, or yes, it came true?”  
She had to know, didn’t she? It always seemed to him that he had been beyond obvious, but the last few months had made him think otherwise. There was only one thing he had wanted, and he had gotten it.  Not quite how he had pictured it this morning, but wishes could be funny like that. 
“It so came true,” he tried to communicate every bit of what he could not say in the look they shared. “I know I may not be able to prove it to you...yet, but I will.”
“If I’m ready to believe?” 
“It’s alright...I can believe enough for both of us until then.” 
201 notes · View notes
skylarmoon71 · 4 years ago
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Nick Amaro x Reader- Chapter 15
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“Well, I think your detective should be awarded a medal. She prevented a lot of chaos.” When they got back from the hospital, they were partially shaken. Unfortunately the first person they were greeted by was the one and only chief. William Dodds was completely quizzed at the somber looks of the SVU team. “Why the long faces? You stopped a school shooting and your detective is safe. You should be celebrating. " 
Olivia looked at him relatively lost. The only people that could ensure you were safe had just jumped through a portal to god knows where, so how did Chief Dodds know. 
“How do you know she’s safe?” Olivia asked. Carisi and the others were at their desks, but they were listening in on the conversation. 
“Well she put in for some leave. Not that she didn’t earn it. It’s a good thing she was wearing that bulletproof vest. “ 
“What?” Olivia was completely lost. She didn’t have a chance to question him, because he was walking out after offering his congratulations for a job well done. Barba was next to her, still going through what he’d seen at the hospital. 
“Why does he think she’s on leave?” 
“Do you think that she..but she couldn’t have..could she?” Amanda was speculating in broken sentences. Honestly, none of them knew what was exactly going on. But the cover of you being on leave was a convenient one. Olivia couldn’t do much but trust that you were behind whatever was going on. 
“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. “ Whatever the outcome, your friends would fill them in. Olivia just hoped the outcome turned out to be beneficial. She wasn’t sure she could deal with losing an officer. Her eyes drifted to Nick. He was standing at your desk, running his fingers along the mahogany surface. 
None of them could afford to lose you. 
~Central City~
Three Weeks Later.
“She’s okay. I can’t guarantee when she’ll wake up. If she’ll even wake up. “ Caitlin stated. The steady beats of the monitor was the only indication they had that you were still alive. Caitlin had carefully mending your external wounds. All that was left was your internal ones. 
Your brain activity was on the fritz. She’d ran over a dozen tests, but they all came back unreadable. She couldn’t tell what your mental state was. Her suspicions were that it had something to do with your telepathic powers. That and the fact that you’d claim the consciousness of another person before reverting to your true body. She had no idea how that affected your true body. 
They all knew the ramifications of what could happen. “This is my fault. I was having that vibe for a week now. I thought it was some stupid nightmare. Why the hell did I just put it off. I should have told her something. Maybe she would..” Cisco slammed his hand on the desk angrily. When it first started he thought it was just a dream, since he only ever had them when he was asleep, rather than his usual contact flashes. 
“It’s not your fault Ramon. We’ve done all we can. Beating yourself won’t do any good right now.” Harry wasn’t wrong. All they could do was wait and hope for the best. Barry sat down next to your unconscious form, taking your hand in his. All those years of your support, advise, banter. 
It dawned on him that he may never get to see that again. Never get to see you. Iris walked over, placing a hand on his shoulder. “She’ll wake up. We have to believe she’ll be fine. “ Iris offered. Barry placed a hand on his shoulder over hers, brushing his thumb over her knuckles. 
“You know, I bet if we found an attractive Spanish guy she’d wake in an instant.”
Cisco’s joke made a few of them laugh. Iris raised an eyebrow smiling. “(Y/N)’s got an obsession with the language. “
“Got it.” she laughed. 
“I remember when she had a crush on Harry.” Iris said.  Harry looked stunned at the information. 
“Wait, you knew about that too?” Barry asked. Iris nodded. 
“We all did. You’re a little too oblivious Barry.” 
“Wha- but Harry didn’t know either.” he defended. 
“Harry wouldn’t know love if it smacked him in the face.” Cisco jested. Harry shot him a glare and he cleared his throat awkwardly. 
“She once had a Criminal Minds marathon with Killer Frost.” Caitlin smiled at the memory. She was trying to figure out why she kept profiling everyone that day, only to find out her counterpart had run through almost five seasons of the addictive crime show. 
“I guess it makes sense now, she’d taken me out to the Central City museum once, when I first got here. It feels like it happened just yesterday. “ Harry said. Cisco rolled his eyes. 
“She asked you out on a date and you didn’t even know. Too late now buddy. She got the hots for the detective back there.” Harry grumbled. 
“I’m aware. And I believe it’s for the best. We do work much better as friends. “ 
They were all going through treasured memories of you. It was all they could really think of. Think of the joy you brought, rather than the silence you now provided in your comatose state. 
Barry was still holding your hand. His brows furrowed when he felt a small shock go through his palm. He didn’t react at first, because it didn’t hurt him per say. But the next shock of electricity made him jump. He yanked his hand away. Iris shuffled back looking at him. 
“What’s wrong!”
Barry looked down at you. “S-She shocked me..” he muttered. Harry walked over, studying the readings on the machine. All their attention moved to the monitors that started beeping aggressively. The lights above were now flickering. 
Barry took off with Iris, just in case. They all knew how dangerous your abilities could get. This time they thought they were more than prepared. Apparently not, because your body started hovering. The machine at the side of your bed started to short, sparks flying everywhere. Caitlin jolted, and before long you were a few feet off the ground, the cords that connected you now sliding off as you drifted away. 
“What’s happening!!” Cisco yelled. All the electronic items seemed to be going haywire. 
“We need to get her somewhere away from technology. She may be trying to come back but the electronics are blocking her attempts. Ramon! Vibe her away from here.” Harry shouted. 
Cisco didn’t flinch, he raised a hand to Vibe you away. The blue energy from his palm hadn’t even gotten close. Just before it could touch your body the energy reflected off an invisible force. The light bounced back, knocking Cisco right off his feet. His body went hurtling into the air, knocking into the opposite wall. He grunted, hitting the wall, and falling harshly to the floor. 
“Cisco!!” Caitlin was by his side in seconds. When Barry returned he didn’t fail to notice you floating in the air, or Cisco now picking himself off the ground. 
“I-I can’t vibe her away. She’s got some sort of field blocking me out. I can’t even get close.” Caitlin was supporting his weight after the harsh fall. 
When they looked back you were now upright, your eyes were also opened. They stared in awe, because the light in your eyes wasn’t one they noticed. Usually when you used your abilities to the max your eyes would turn golden, but now they were.. purple.
Your body was now lowering to the ground, the lights in the room stopped flashing altogether, the area going dark. 
When your feet touched the ground, you looked at them. The room was quiet...too quiet. 
No one knew what to say under the circumstances. Your eyes were blank of any emotion, except for the glow. 
“Humans. Bow before your new leader!” 
Cisco panicked. “Shit she got mind controlled by a freaking alien!!” he hollered. 
You stared for a few more seconds before a smile burst out on your lips. You closed your eyes and the glow faded, the lights flickering back on automatically. 
“The look on your faces was priceless. Come on. You really think I’d let some alien control my brain.” Cisco's eyes lit up and he ran over hugging you tightly. You returned it with a smile. 
Cailtin was laughing softly and Harry rolled his eyes. “I must say I’m not amused by your poor sense of humor. “ The dark haired scientist grumbled. You grinned at Harry, despite the scowl on his face. 
“All this time I’ve been out and you're still a grump.”
Barry walked over, still wondering if his mind was playing a cruel trick on him. When he saw your bright smile he knew it was true. He didn’t say much. But as soon as Cisco stepped away he hugged you. Your eyes warmed, patting his back. He was hugging a bit tightly, but you didn’t care. “I missed you too Barry.” he didn’t have to say it. You knew. You pulled back slowly.
“It’s good to see this place is still the same after all this time.” Barry laughed. “You’ve been out for three weeks. How much do you think we’d change?”
You narrowed your eyes. “What do you mean three weeks? It’s been months Barry.” 
Caitlin looked a bit worried. “It has been months right?” you asked hesitantly. 
Cisco shook his head slowly.  “No, it’s only been three weeks (Y/N). “ You looked down, hands shaking. 
“T-That’s not right I-I was counting I knew that it was..”
“What do you mean you were counting? You’ve been unconscious this entire time.” Harry interjected. 
“In my head I was...that’s how I got better. I had to keep track of the days so my consciousness wouldn’t slip away but I swear it was...it felt like months. Almost a year.” 
None of them knew what to say. This wasn’t the usual issue they encountered. This couldn’t be solved by science like they were used to. 
You were still looking at your hands. Your body felt different. 
“Something’s changed..” 
You had a feeling you were in for a lot of surprises in the future. 
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tw-anchor · 5 years ago
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21. Worm Moon
Anchor
Stiles Stilinski x Original Character
Episode: 2x09; Party Guessed
Word Count: 5,639
Warning(s): Mature language, canon violence
Author’s Note: Sorry for taking so long to update! I finally got some chapters pre-written so I decided it was time to give y’all a chapter. Hope you enjoy! Make sure to reblog and like!
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Masterlink in Profile Description!
Olivia slipped into the abandoned train station, clutching a coffee and the large file she put together to her chest. Making her way through the turnstiles, past the waiting area, and onto the platform, she stumbled her way down to the stairs that would lead her to the car that Derek and Isaac shared. It didn't surprise her when Derek slipped out of before she could enter, shrugging on a shirt with fluffy morning hair.
"What are you doing here so early, Ollie?" he yawned.
"I found something. Here," she handed him the coffee.
Derek quickly downed a large gulp, not even grimacing from the scalding liquid. "What'd you find?"
"Information," Olivia wandered over to the dirty table they kept and sat down, opening the file. "I spent the last week researching and putting together a timeline of all these abilities. "
"From when Peter bit you," Derek nodded, taking the seat across from her.
"Yeah, they first showed up when Lydia escaped from the hospital," Olivia pulled out her timeline and pushed it over to him. "and then again on the day of Isaac's first full moon, when Erica knocked out Stiles, when the kanima trapped you two in the pool..."
Derek read through the instances she could remember. "And these were all the times your eyes turned purple?"
Olivia nodded. "Every single time, someone I cared about was in danger."
"Your pack," Derek stated. "Not just your actual pack but the people you consider pack, too, like Jackson and Lydia."
"Exactly," Olivia confirmed. "And Stiles had told me that there were a few supernatural creatures with purples eyes. There were a couple of options; fairies, pixies, anchorams, and dragons."
"I think it's safe to say you're not a dragon."
Olivia smiled weakly. "So, I looked at the other options. Fairies and pixies didn't fit any of the abilities I've been having, so I narrowed it down to anchorams."
"Anchorams," Derek hummed thoughtfully. "Did you get anything on them?"
Olivia shook her head. "There wasn't a lot on the internet, so I looked in the Argent's bestiary."
"What'd you find?"
Olivia pulled out the pages she had Lydia help her translate. There wasn't a lot in the Argent bestiary, either, but there was enough to get a reading on what she actually was.
"Anchorams, otherwise known as anchors, are caretakers of the pack," she read. "A sub-species of werewolf, the anchor knows when a member of their pack is in danger or injured. If the anchor is powerful enough, they will fall into a fugue state and find the pack member in distress."
"Anchorams' eyes glow purple when their powers are being used," she continued. "The most helpful of an anchors' powers are their ability to calm werewolves with their touch or voice."
Olivia set down the paper and looked back at Derek for a reaction. His expression was blank but his there was a hint of emotion in his eyes that she couldn't quite make out. The longer he didn't respond, the more anxious she got. She knew Derek would accept her, because he had already done so despite the fact that she didn't turn into a werewolf, but it was still nerve-wracking.
Despite the fact that it took her months to figure out what she was, she was so relieved now that she actually knew. The stress of not knowing was weighing her down and it kind of felt like she could breathe again. Now that she knew what she was, she could train and use her abilities to help Derek, her pack, and her friends.
"It makes sense," Derek said finally.
Olivia raised her eyebrows. "It does?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "Ollie, on Isaac's first full moon, you almost completely calmed him down before I stepped in. From what he said, you did it when he broke into Scott's house as well."
Olivia cocked her head thoughtfully. "I guess..."
"And you were doing it before you were even bitten," Derek pointed out. "When Scott had first changed, your voice would calm him down a little. When Cora—when you and Cora were kids, she was always much calmer with you by her side."
"So, I've been this my entire life," Olivia bit the inside of her cheek. "and Peter biting me, what, accelerated my powers?"
"Yeah, I guess so," Derek confirmed. "but this is good news, Ollie."
"Why?"
"Because now that we know what you are, we can train you."
Olivia pressed her lips together and nodded. She was thinking the same thing and it was nice to know that Derek would have her back. The Hale family was mostly gone but at least Olivia and Derek had each other.
Olivia and Derek went through the rest of the research she had, even though most of it was irrelevant, through the rest of the morning. Isaac woke up an hour after she arrived and Boyd and Erica arrived an hour after that so the pack could go over the plan for the full moon that night.
Originally, Olivia hadn't been part of the plan for the full moon for her safety and the fact that it was Lydia's seventeenth birthday. Now, the plans had changed; Olivia would spend an hour or two at Lydia's party and then come back to the train station to help with Isaac, Erica, and Boyd.
Now that they knew she had abilities to calm the new betas down during their transitions, they knew that had to take advantage of that.
Derek pulled out a trunk with the triskele branded on the front, opening the hatch to reveal numerous lengths of chain.
"What is that?" Isaac pointed at the triskele.
"It's a triskele," Olivia told him. "Spirals can mean different things—past, present, future. Mother, father, child."
"For Hales, it means something different," Derek added. "What do you think it is?"
"Alpha, beta, omega?" Boyd spoke up.
Derek nodded at him. "That's right. It's a spiral," he started to explain further. "It reminds us that we can all rise to one or fall to another."
"Betas can become alphas but alphas can also fall to betas or even omegas," Olivia stated.
"Like Scott?" Isaac wondered.
Derek shook his head. "Scott's with us."
"Really?" Isaac looked around as though he was searching for Scott. "Then where is he now?"
Olivia rolled her eyes at the hostility Isaac was showing. It was like he was feeling threatened now that Scott had joined the pack to take down Jackson.
"He's looking for Jackson," Derek informed him. "Don't worry, he's not gonna have it easy tonight, either. None of us will. There's a price you pay for this kind of power; you get the ability to heal but tonight, you're gonna want to kill anything you can find."
"Good thing I had my period last week, then," Erica commented with pursed lips; Olivia sent her an amused grin.
Derek shook his head and picked up a metal band that fit around the head with numerous nails that could be adjusted. He walked over to Erica and presented it to her. "Well, this one is for you."
Olivia grimaced, not envying Erica at all.
-
-
Stiles stared down at the yearbook in front of him, his eyes narrowing at the picture of Kara Simmons, the rave promotor that Jackson had killed. She didn't fit the pattern of the rest of the victims; sure, she was twenty-four and had been in the same graduating class but she hadn't been part of Harris' class that the rest of the victims shared. It was infuriating that he couldn't figure out why Kara had been killed.
He wanted this kanima bullshit to be done already. Too many people were getting hurt and the pack was still floundering on how to stop Jackson without killing him dead.
"Hey, whatcha doing?" Noah came up to his door while he was flipping to the next page.
"Homework."
As Noah walked away Stiles went onto the next page of the yearbook, finding nothing that was useful.
"It's spring break," Noah was back; he entered Stiles' room and sighed when he saw the yearbook on his desk. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Oh, I'm just satisfying my own curiosity," Stiles said nonchalantly. He went to turn another page but his dad reached over and closed the yearbook.
"We brought Harris in this morning for questioning," he informed Stiles before correcting himself. "They brought him in."
Stiles eagerly turned to Noah. "And?"
"And they're working on a warrant to arrest him for the murders."
"For all of them?"
"Enough of them."
Stiles raised his eyebrows. "With what proof?"
"You remember the couple at the trailer?" Stiles nodded at Noah's question. "Tire tracks nearby match Harris' car."
"W-What?" Stiles shook his head and opened the yearbook back up. "That's not enough."
Noah closed the yearbook again. "The same car was also seen outside the hospital where the pregnant wife was killed," he sighed. "It's got some bumper sticker on it, a quote from Einstein?"
Well, that rang a bell.
"What quote?" Stiles wondered.
"Something about imagination and knowledge."
Okay, so Harris' car was at the rave, too, then. "Imagination is more important than knowledge," he quoted with a nod. "Yeah, I saw the same car parked outside the rave."
"That means you're a witness," Noah pointed out. "You're gonna have to give a statement."
Stiles couldn't spend time on that. There were more important things. "But what about the concert promoter, Kara?" he asked, thinking of the break in the similarity of victims. "She wasn't in Harris' class, right? I mean, what does Mr. Lahey have to do with Harris?"
"It doesn't matter," Noah stressed. "The tire tracks put Harris at the site of three murders. That's damning evidence."
Stiles shook his head firmly, opening the yearbook once again. "No, that's not enough."
Noah sighed and let him look through the book. "I thought you hated this guy."
"I don't hate him, all right? He hates me," Stiles corrected him as he continued to look through the book. "And, you know, if he killed them all, then yeah, lock the psycho up but there's something missing."
"Hey. Hey," Noah grabbed Stiles' attention. "You don't have to solve this for me."
"I have to do something," Stiles sighed; he couldn't just wait around and not be useful. Since he couldn't do the same stuff as Scott and Derek, then he could do this. He looked back up to his dad and saw that Noah was staring down at the yearbook with narrowed eyes. "What?"
"Look at the swim team."
Stiles looked down at the page, his eyes going straight to the team picture. All of the victims; the mechanic, Argent's hunter, the rave promoter, and the couple were all squished together to smile at the camera. And then, at the bottom of the page, was a picture of Mr. Lahey.
"Dad, the coach," Stiles pointed out quickly. "It's Isaac's dad."
-
-
Olivia went through the numerous dresses that Lydia had bought for her party. They were all very cute and all something that both she and Lydia would wear. It didn't surprise her that her cousin went overboard, too, since there were at least five dresses.
"So," she turned to Lydia with a smile. "which one is your host dress?"
Lydia grinned and picked out the bodycon dress with black and gray stripes. "This one," she set it down and picked up a dark blue dress. "and this will be the evening dress."
"What, no after-hours casual?" Olivia joked, earning a laugh from Lydia. "Did you talk to Jackson?"
Despite the fact that Lydia knew that Jackson was the kanima, she still wanted him at her birthday party. Lydia had gone to the school after lacrosse practice was finishing up and had spoken to Jackson personally to make sure he was still going.
"Yeah," Lydia confirmed. "and he was acting weird."
Olivia furrowed her eyebrows. "Weird, how?"
"Like how you told me he was at the rave," Lydia sighed; Olivia nodded worriedly. "Anyway, I touched his arm for a second and he seemed to snap out of it."
"Did he?"
Lydia nodded. "And he told me that I didn't want him at my party," she hesitated for a second. "Liv, do you think he knows what's going on with him and he was warning me or something?"
"Maybe," Olivia crossed her arms over her chest, frowning. "As much as I want to say that it's good that he knows what's going on, now, I don't think it's better for him."
"Because now he knows he's being controlled," Lydia supplied, thinking along the same lines as Olivia. "and there's nothing he can do to stop it, either."
Olivia bit the inside of her cheek; she hated this whole thing. People were dead because of whoever was controlling Jackson and Jackson had no way to stop it. Despite the fact that Jackson was a dick, he didn't want to kill people. Now, all that blood was on his hands even though it wasn't really his fault. It had to be heartbreaking for him. He didn't deserve to be someone's murderous slave.
"Damn it," Lydia sighed, tears welling up in her eyes.
"It's gonna be okay, Lyds," Olivia tried to assure her; she didn't feel confident, though. "We're gonna find whoever is controlling Jackson and we're gonna stop him."
Lydia gave her a sad smile. "I hope so," she sniffed two times before perking up, changing the subject. "So, I got you a romper since you'll be going to help Derek and his pack."
"Are you sure you're okay with that?" Olivia asked Lydia as she grabbed one of the Macy's bags and pulled out a black romper that was actually really cute. "I can stay, if you want me to."
Lydia paused as she rearranged the romper on her bed and gave Olivia a stern look. "Liv, you have the power to help Isaac, Erica, and Boyd," she reminded her. "I would be the world's biggest bitch if I told you I didn't want you to go."
"No, you wouldn't," Olivia disagreed.
"Uh-huh," Lydia rolled her eyes. "Now, I want you to try this on before we start setting up."
Olivia shook her head in amusement, grabbing the romper and heading to the bathroom she shared with Lydia.
Hours later, Lydia party was set up. Olivia had been in charge of the decorations and music, making sure everything was set up to Lydia's standards, while Lydia was in charge of the food and drinks. The food was simple finger foods that Natalie ordered from a caterer before she slipped away from the house to give them space, while the punch was a recipe that Lydia saw on Pinterest.
A couple of people had arrived already, including Allison and Scott, but there wasn't as many people as there usually was at one of Lydia's parties. It was positively bare compared to what Olivia was used to and she could tell that it was bringing Lydia down.
While Lydia was making sure there was enough punch poured for the partygoers, Olivia was assigned the front door. Fifteen minutes after the party started, the doorbell rang once again. When she opened the door, she came face-to-face with Stiles, who was holding a huge box in his arms.
"Hey!" he greeted her enthusiastically, shaking the present.
"What on Earth," Olivia's eyes trailed over the box, which was wider than he was. "What did you even get her?"
"A teddy bear," Stiles answered simply. "Okay, I'm coming in."
Stiles didn't get very far. The present was too wide for the door frame, which meant that he couldn't get it in right away. Olivia watched him with a smile as he struggled for a few seconds, trying to forcefully push the box through the door.
What a dork, she thought to herself fondly.
"You know you can just flip it around, right?" she pointed out, gesturing so it seemed like she was flipping the box vertically.
Stiles stopped struggling and gave her an annoyed look. "You couldn't have said anything earlier?"
"I figured you knew!" Olivia grinned.
Stiles rolled his eyes fondly. "You're so mean to me," he flipped the present like Olivia said and easily walked through the door. "but you're beautiful so I don't mind."
Olivia's heart fluttered but she didn't respond to his comment. "The present can go there," she pointed at the present table, where only four packages laid. "and Lydia made the punch so make sure you get some of that."
"Will do," Stiles nodded, setting the present down at the table. "Is Scott here?"
"Yeah," Olivia confirmed. "and so is Allison but they're on separate sides of the backyard."
"Right," Stiles clicked his tongue. "So, is Jackson here yet?"
"Not yet. Why?"
"Well, I found something out while I was going through the 2006 yearbook," Stiles told her. "All the victims were on the swim team and Mr. Lahey was the coach."
Olivia looked at him in surprise as they started heading toward the backyard. "Are you serious?" Stiles nodded. "Okay, so this all has to do with water, then, right?"
"That's what I think," Stiles agreed. "Remember the way the kanima reacted to water?"
Olivia nodded. "So, whoever's controlling the kanima hates the 2006 swim team."
"Yep and I thought that it may be another teacher but what if we're missing something?"
They stepped out into the backyard, where the party of five was taking place. Lydia was still waiting by punch table on one side of the pool, while two random people were dancing by the stereo, and Allison and Scott were talking quietly with each other.
"I'll guess we'll have to figure it out," Olivia put a comforting hand on Stiles' arm for only a second but it seemed to relax him.
Allison and Scott approached them, each with their own hesitant smiles. Olivia guessed that there was still some awkwardness between them from their fight at the rave the previous week.
"Uh, Jackson's not here," Allison pointed out needlessly.
"Yeah," Stiles' eyes flittered over the empty backyard. "No one's here."
"Maybe it's just early," Scott offered weakly.
Olivia shook her head. "The party started almost twenty minutes ago."
"Nobody's coming because Lydia turned into the town whack job," Stiles commented before backtracking when Olivia frowned at him. "Uh, I mean...yeah, it's pretty early."
Olivia rolled her eyes while Allison spoke up. "Well, we have to do something," she declared. "because we've completely ignored her for the past two weeks."
That's true, Olivia thought to herself, Scott, Stiles, and Allison hadn't really talked to Lydia since Derek tried to kill her.
"She's completely ignored me and Stiles for the past ten years," Scott shrugged, unbothered. "We don't owe her a party."
"Okay, well, she wouldn't be the town whack job if it wasn't for all of us," Olivia pointed out; Peter had bitten Lydia and the rest of them had lied to her about what was going on. "So, if we could please do something."
Scott sighed and looked over at Lydia, who looked uncomfortable with the lack of people. "I guess I could use my co-captain statue to get the lacrosse team here."
"Yeah, I also know some people who can get this thing going," Stiles pulled his phone from his jeans. "Like, really going."
Allison frowned at him. "Who?"
"I met them at the gay club when Jackson was trying to kill Danny," Stiles informed them. "Let's just say they know how to party."
The people who Stiles met at the gay club were drag queens and they were some of the nicest people that Olivia had ever met. With them and the lacrosse team and their girlfriends showing up, the party was actually exciting.
Olivia played her part as co-hostess and answered the door to let everyone in but when the doorbell stopped ringing, she allowed herself to join the party. She didn't usually like parties but it was Lydia's birthday and she wanted to have fun before she had to go deal with out-of-control baby werewolves.
She hung out with Lydia for a while, pointing out the people that Stiles invited because her cousin had no idea who they were, listening to the music that pumped through their backyard, and eating cake. Eventually, Lydia went off to pass out some more punch and Olivia went to find Stiles.
Olivia didn't like dancing in public but the last time she did, she was with Stiles and she had a lot of fun. And she had romantic feelings for Stiles now, so she didn't see a point in hiding them forever. Stiles had told her that he had feelings for her long before she realized her own and they had just shared a kiss—even if it was an absentminded one.
"Hi," she approached him with a smile; he lit up when she stopped in front of him. "Are you having fun?"
"Yeah!" Stiles nodded jerkily, sipping on his punch. "What about you?"
Usually Olivia would play it cool; she'd be casual as she answered him and she wouldn't let on that she was enjoying his company. Not this time. "Do you wanna dance?"
Stiles raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You want to dance?" she nodded. "Are you feeling okay, Livvy? I mean, I practically had to drag you out onto the dance floor last time."
"Yeah, well," she shrugged with a small smile. "I like dancing with you."
Stiles' jaw dropped for a second but it was like Olivia's words gave him a boost of confidence. He quickly set his punch down on the nearest table and firmly grabbed Olivia's hand, twirling her around before pulling her into his arms.
"Wow," Olivia breathed, surprised, as his hands drifted down to her hips while they swayed to the music. "and here I was thinking that we'd be doing the chicken dance again."
"The chicken dance is fun but I like this, too," Stiles grinned at her. "You look amazing, by the way."
"Thanks," Olivia squeezed his biceps. "I like when you wear green."
"You do?!"
"Yeah," she assured him, her smile widening. "but I like blue on you the best."
"Oh," Stiles perked up excitedly. "Well, that's good because my favorite color is blue."
"Really?" Olivia asked in surprise; she would have thought it was red or something. "Why?"
Stiles stared into her cobalt-blue eyes. "Blue is pretty."
Olivia's heart melted right then and there.
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Olivia shifted uneasily on her feet from where she stood next to Isaac, watching as Derek chained Boyd and Erica up in the back of the train car. All three of the newbie betas were uneasy as the full moon got closer but it was really a struggle for Erica and Boyd. It was their first full moon, so they all were expecting them to act out of control tonight. Isaac would have a better chance but from how tense he was, he was in for a rough night, too.
This full moon felt different than the last for Olivia, too. She didn't know if it was because she was actually aware of the powers she held this time but she could feel the moon starting to affect her. Not in the way that it did for werewolves, it was like the exact opposite. She felt more in control than ever, like her body knew that she had a purpose and she would be fulfilling it tonight while helping Erica, Boyd, and Isaac stay in control.
"What if we break free?" Boyd asked as Derek finished chaining him up.
"Then you'll do anything you can to get out of here," Derek answered him. "You'd probably try to kill me and Olivia, then each other, and anything else with a heartbeat."
"Hopefully I'll be able to help you with your control so that doesn't happen," Olivia gave him a small, reassuring smile; Boyd returned her smile with a trusting nod.
Derek moved onto to the chains restraining Erica. He quickly made sure they were going to hold her before picking up the headband he had showed her that morning. He looked to Isaac and Olivia and nodded back at Erica, "I need you guys to hold her."
Isaac immediately took Erica's arms behind her back while Olivia laid both of her hands on her shoulders. "So," Isaac wondered. "how come she gets to wear the headband thing?"
"Because she'll be able to withstand more pain than the two of you," Derek set the metal headband on top of Erica's head and slipped it down, making sure it was over her forehead. "I've got an extra one if you really want it."
Olivia grimaced and looked over at Isaac, who quickly shook his head. "I'll pass."
Derek looked to Erica. "You ready?"
"Yeah."
As a pack, they all took a deep breath together. Derek started twisting the prong into the skin of Erica's forehead; Erica screamed loudly, fighting against Isaac's hold on her. Olivia held onto her shoulders as tight as she could, but even she felt unsettled with the slight tingling in the same spot on her forehead.
It was hard for everyone to hear Erica's painful screams. At first, it was just the prongs of the headband causing them but then the moon came out and it was all part of her transition. Boyd soon joined her, grunting and groaning while trying to break free of the restraints holding him.
Olivia restrained Isaac while Derek watched over Boyd and Erica. As soon as she was done, they'd switch places and Olivia would take a crack at trying to be an anchor for them.
"How doesn't Derek feel this?" Isaac murmured as she clasped a handcuff around his wrist and tightened the one holding him to the seat.
"I'm sure he feels every second of it," Olivia looked up at him. "He's had more practice, though."
"That's how he controls it?"
"He has an anchor. It's something meaningful to you. You can bind yourself to it and keep your human side in control," Olivia straightened to her full height and glanced briefly at her cousin as he spoke with his betas. "For Derek, it's anger, but it doesn't have to be for everybody."
"Like Scott?"
"Yeah," she confirmed, knowing that Allison was Scott's anchor. "but listen, if you can't find an anchor tonight, don't worry about it. We can work on it," she placed a hand on his shoulder and he visibly relaxed. "It's why I'm here."
Isaac nodded quietly. Erica screamed again, catching Olivia's attention. "Tell me if you need help," she told Isaac before making her way back to Erica and Boyd. "All right, let's do this."
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Stiles was officially bored of Lydia's party. The party itself was still hopping, with dozens and dozens of people drinking Lydia's spiked punch, dancing, talking to their friends, and swimming in the large pool. It was fun but not for Stiles.
He was almost positive it was because Olivia had split a half-hour before. Their dancing had been interrupted by birthday cake and after Lydia blew out the candles, Olivia told him she had to leave to help Derek with Isaac, Erica, and Boyd. He didn't know exactly how she was supposed to help keep three new betas in control but it figured it had something to do with the way her eyes turned purple on the last full moon.
So, now he was stuck next to a stubborn-ass Scott, who kept on sending Allison puppy-dog eyes without realizing it.
"Are you gonna apologize to Allison or what?" he asked his best friend, taking a sip of punch from his plastic cup.
Scott gave him a confused look. "Why should I apologize?"
"Because you're the guy. It's, like, what we do."
"But I didn't do anything wrong."
"Then you should definitely apologize," Stiles glanced back at Allison, where she was chatting with Lydia, and then back to Scott. "See, any time a guy thinks he hasn't done anything wrong, it means he's definitely done something wrong."
Scott thought about that for a moment before insisting, "I'm not apologizing."
Stiles pressed his lips together and gave him a knowing look. "Is that the full moon talking, buddy?"
"Probably," Scott shrugged. "Why do you care, anyway?"
"Because, Scott, something's gotta go right here. I mean, we're getting our asses royally kicked, if you haven't noticed," Stiles pointed out firmly. "People are dying, I got my dad fired, you're gonna be held back in school and if, on top of all that, I gotta watch you lose Allison to a fucking stalker like Matt, I'm gonna stab myself in the face."
As he finished, he was surprised to realize that there actually was something going right in his life. His relationship with Olivia was progressing every day. It almost made up for everything else going bad—almost.
"Don't stab yourself in the face," Scott was staring across the pool. "Jackson's here."
Scott left him, probably to go talk to Allison or Lydia about Jackson. Stiles drained the rest of his punch and started to follow after him when he paused, hearing his dad's familiar voice.
"Why am I wearing black? What are you, an idiot?" Stiles whipped around to see his dad yelling at one of his classmates, dressed in a suit and holding a bottle of whiskey in his hands. "I just came from a funeral. You know, people wear black at funerals."
Stiles' eyes widened in shock as Noah took a long pull of the whiskey. Why was his dad even here? What funeral was he talking about?
"Dude, chill," the teenager held his hands up.  "I was just—"
Noah roughly shoved him away. "Get out of my face."
He took another drink from the bottle and turned to Stiles, glaring at him with hateful eyes. "It's you. It's all you," he held the whiskey bottle up like he was making a toast. "You know, every day I saw her lying in that hospital slowly dying..."
This is about Mom, Stiles realized, his eyes stinging.
"I thought, how the hell am I supposed to raise this stupid kid on my own? This hyperactive little bastard who keeps running my life?" Noah pointed at his son, disgusted. "It's all you. It's you, Stiles. You killed your mother, you hear me? You killed her and now you're killing me!"
Stiles didn't say anything, he didn't move. How was he supposed to react when his dad was saying everything that he blamed himself for? His mom had died and he just stood and watched. He didn't do anything as the life left her eyes.
He flinched away as Noah threw the half-empty bottle at him, the glass crashing against the column he had been standing by. When he looked back at the area his dad had been standing, he was gone.
And then he was submerged in cold water.
Stiles inhaled deeply as he was lifted out of the pool, icy water dripping from his short hair down the back of his neck. He blinked rapidly and coughed, his eyes darting from Scott, who was in front of him, to one of their classmates. It was Danielle, who was known to be quite the character.
"What the fuck?" he spluttered.
"How do you feel?" Danielle asked simply.
"Like I might have to revisit my policy on hitting a girl," he glared at her.
Danielle sniffed, looking at Scott. "He's sober."
"Yeah, thanks, Danielle," Stiles rolled his eyes and got to his feet.
All around him, people were going crazy. There was some girl making out with a plant, two dudes were fighting over the last pig-in-a-blanket, and he had obviously had a hallucination about his dad because why the hell else would Noah even be at Lydia's party?
He turned to Scott. "What the hell is going on?"
When Scott had informed him that Lydia was no longer at the party, they both split up to look for her. While Scott took the inside of the house, where more people were freaking out, Stiles looked outside. There was no sign of Lydia, but there was wolfsbane in the punch bowl.
He hurriedly met up with Scott, who hadn't seen Lydia, either.
"Lydia put wolfsbane in the punch," Stiles informed Scott, trying not to think about how weird the situation was. "Anyone who drank it is freaking out."
Emphasizing Stiles' statement, people started pushing unsuspecting guests into the pool. Some of them enjoyed the little swim they would be privy to. But not Matt Daehler. He didn't know how to swim.
Realization hit Stiles and Scott at the same time. Matt had been in the library when Jackson turned into the kanima, he was the one who owned the camera that had footage of Jackson as a kanima on it. He had been at the rave when Kara was killed. The kanima's master wasn't able to swim and neither could Matt.
And the icing on top of the cake; Jackson—asshole extraordinaire—was the one who helped Matt out of the pool. Their suspicions were confirmed when the police showed up at the party and they tried to confront Matt. He was outside waiting for them, the kanima wrapped protectively around his legs.
Stiles immediately called Olivia, who picked up on the first ring. "Hello? Stiles?"
He could the stress in her voice and fighting in the background. "Matt Daehler's the one controlling Jackson," he told her. "Can you come?"
There was a second where she didn't answer and then, "I'm on my way."
(Gif is not mine)
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