#“after bottom surgery will you no longer be trans��

[homosexchad]

accidentally educating well meaning but confused cis people seems to be my new vibe lol

im mostly stealth irl but since i'm getting top surgery this summer and a couple of irl friends were like "omg why are you getting surgery? are you dying? are you ill?", i came out to some of them bc fuck it.

anyway, one girl asked how it worked and i mentioned scar care and she was so confused. turns out she thought that every top surgery consisted of basically vacuuming the tit out and then being fine the same day. bruh.

my college tutors were baffled, but in a chill way. ended up turning my 5 minute "ok, here's how we'll tell your apprenticeship employer" meeting into a 45 minute deep dive where i accidentally radicalised one of my tutors because he genuinely thought transitioning was like a "go to the GP and you're done in a year" thing, and not a 4 year waitlist, 1 year diagnosis, blood tests, more waiting, hormones, then a constant uphill battle, a year of appointments for a referral, years of waiting for surgery, weight limits with no wiggle room, etc.

the weight limit thing really confused him, he was like "but you're not even fat!" and i was like "well, first of all, i am" and then explained the additional risks and how pretty much every surgeon in this country has a BMI limit of 30, which is part of the reason i'm glad to be able to go private bc i'd have to lose about 20kg to be eligible for most NHS surgeons, and going abroad is??? a bit too scary for me lol.

he asked about GRCs and i explained how they work and what they do and he was shook lol. i was like yeah bro, i've got 7 years of evidence and my statutory declaration but no NHS diagnosis, and they won't accept my private doctor's diagnosis bc they're not The List of Approved Doctors so i've been waiting for this NHS appointment for years.

"how much is it for you to go private?? it's hOW MUCH?? EVERY MONTH?? how much is surgery? IT'S WHAT NOW?!?! is there a payment plan? NO?!??!"

homie asked when the next protest was 😂

he said i can contact him whenever i want to get stuff off my chest about this topic and for once i was like yknow what. yes it's frustrating that there's an expectation for me to educate others, but also like. there's so much misinformation online rn about how transitioning works, what legal transition looks like, what the legal rights are, that it's kind of chill. i have the energy, and if it's a well meaning person that i know well enough i'm kind of chill with it.

[ianthe-is-a-bitch-and-i-love-her]

I don't post a lot about my personal life on here, but in the spirit of pride month, I'm getting bottom surgery! I've been on HRT over five years now, and I'm really, really excited to finally take this last big step. I'm even lucky enough to have already saved up enough for the surgery itself and for travel and accommodations! But that is my entire savings, with nothing left over for complications, or to support myself and my household if recovery keeps me out of work longer than expected.

So I'm trying to raise money for a Surgery Emergency fund of $5000 - enough to make up for an extra month without work. If I don't end up needing it, I'll donate it to another trans surgery fund. I know there are a lot of very worthy causes in need of donations right now, and I know there's not a lot of money to go around, but if you can spare even a little, it would mean the world to me.

My surgery is at the end of September. I'll try not to spam you all with this between now and then, but I might reblog every month or so with an update. If you think you have followers who might want to pitch in, go ahead and share this around, but you should absolutely feel no obligation to do so. Thanks!

[velnoni]

any romantic/nsfw headcanons for stanley pines in a relationship with a trans man who has top surgery already? can be young or old stanley, it doesn't matter

Admittedly, I've never written for a trans male reader, so I hope this came out good. Hope you enjoy it!

Stan Pines x Trans Male Reader

His dating pool is quite minimal if we're being honest here but when he meets you he's genuinely embarrassed, trips over his words a bit, and sweats more than normal. Definitely has the hots for you.

Over the years he's mellowed out and accepted that he could be into guys as well, keep in mind this is a fella who grew up in the 50s so expect him to be a bit nervous or rough around the edges. He shows a genuine interest in you and tries to woo you by giving a tour of the Myserty Shack, ending on the note of giving you his personal number.

Enjoys showing you off. Does not care for the age gap if there is one. Truth be told, he hadn't realized how lonely its been all these years. He really likes giving you kisses on the forehead or sneaking up behind you to tickle your sides in the morning. Will proudly grab your shoulder or waist in public and wiggle his eyebrows to make you laugh or get flustered.

In regards to your top surgery scars, he won't ask too many questions except for maybe did it hurt or how long it took to heal. If you ever feel uncomfortable about it or how they look, he'll smile gently before raising his own wife beater to show his aged body littered with scars, each one with stories from his younger days. Claims that you're both matching.

"They ain't somethin' to be worried about trust me." And he genuinely means it. He's not gonna pretend to know what you been through or force a story outta you. But just wants you to feel comfortable in your own skin, especially around him. Life is too short to be worrying unless you hear sirens.

He does like to kiss the scars or touch them. He likes how they feel under his fingertips.

He'll call you handsome, beefcake, cutie, or a shortened version of your name as terms of endearment. Wonders if it's appropriate to buy flowers for guys, too. He's a bit old school and might get you a bouquet of daises for the first date. If you do that for him, he'll nervously laugh and accept the flowers. If his eyes are watering no they're not.

On slow days, when it's just the two of you laying in bed, he likes to cuddle and caress your happy trail if you have one. If not, then he'll run his hands alongside your belly till he doses off.

nsft under the cut

He likes to top as it's something he's more used to and will gladly eat you out if asked. Enjoy when you wear more revealing outfits near him because his body will act like a hormonal teenager around you.

He's pretty good with his tongue and fingers, a bit on the rusty side, but enjoys hearing your moans when he slips his fingers inside your tight walls. He likes to edge you a lot since if he cums once it'll take longer for him to get it back up. His stubble when he leans in to kiss your neck during intercourse ironically makes you feel more sensitive.

Please sit on his face. He loves squeezing your ass a lot and smelling your natural musk right on his face, it drives him wild.

If you want him to use toys on you at first, he can't help be slightly offended. He ain't good enough for you? But you reassure him that it's a good way to spice up the night and help when he needs a break. He doesn't mind plunging dildos inside of you every now and then after that convincing argument, plus it's fun to push your limits with permission.

Pegging him, fingering him? It'll be a very long time before you can convince him to bottom for you or just try new things. It's unfamiliar territory but maybe you coax him just enough with a blowjob and a lot of explaining then maybe just maybe you'll be greeted with the view of a nearly knocked out Stan painted with his own cum, with your strap on deep inside his ass.

[queerwhohatesithere]

raising money for bottom surgery!

cashapp: $chamomileflowers

venmo: wisteria_flowers

go fund me:

let me share some. i had my first consult for surgery last year. after that, another consult, and i started getting electrolysis (hair removal) which is still in process. this has been in the works for a long time and i’ve been thinking about it for even longer. i’m fully aware that at this point my surgery date of march 10th, 2025 is close and i’m asking for a lot. i’m honestly asking for a miracle.

money has been extremely tight for me lately. one of the reasons for that is my concussion in october, which led to a hospitalization, the depleting of my savings, and several follow up PT and vestibular therapy visits. i haven’t been grocery shopping in months. i get all my food from a food pantry as well as necessities. i’m trying to keep rent my only expense but things happen, such as me having to pay a vet bill for my dog, or smaller expenses adding up like cat litter and food.

in essence, i’m struggling. so this is me asking for help, putting myself out there, asking you reading this to give anything you can, or to share or repost this. i know times are tight for everyone so obviously don’t feel obligated to donate if you can’t. spreading the word however, would be amazing. i really, really want this to happen. i don’t want to have come this far to fall flat on my face.

here’s where i’ll end. while i am extremely glad i’m trans, it is so so hard for us to survive right now. so if you’re trans, i see you. i’m glad you’re alive, and that you keep putting one foot in front of the other. all we can do is support each other and do the best we can. truly, that’s all anyone can expect from you. thank you for reading, i hope you have a lovely day :))

[flowercrowncrip]

Sorry if this is a weird question but have you ever thought about getting bottom surgery? Is that even possible for wheelchair users? It seems like it would get squished or something which is 😬

I know when people get top surgery they can't use mobility aids that require a lot of upper body exertion, so was using your chair more difficult?

I'm not really looking into top surgery for mobility aid reasons and since I'm kinda small up there anyway, but I reeeeealy want bottom surgery and can't find any resources on whether my disabilities will complicate things ;^;

I’m actually in the early stages of pursuing bottom surgery myself! I annoyingly can’t find many people talking about it at all, let alone wheelchair users. Even my GIC doctor isn’t entirely sure right now.

Right now the doctor at my GIC is informally asking surgeons whether they’d be able to take me as a patient before making a formal referral. I’m not sure where you are but In the UK you need a second opinion from an in person appointment with a doctor at a different clinic just to get a referral for bottom surgery (but not top), and since none of the clinics in England except my current clinic would accept me as a patient, it’s looking like I might have to go to Scotland for that one short appointment. (My doctor is also trying to see if we can make an exception to the in person rule on disability discrimination grounds because travel is harder for be, but as far as I know that hasn’t happened before so I’m not holding my breath).

My GIC doctor doesn’t know for sure what the exact complications of being a wheelchair user are likely to be if I get surgery, but said I was likely to experience more discomfort after surgery and might need longer in bed during recovery. He also said it was possible that a surgeon might say that metoidioplasty could be more possible me than phalloplasty, which I’m really hoping isn’t the case because ideally I want phalloplasty. We also don’t know what the implications are of me having a catheter.

All of this is really hypothetical at the moment though, it’s all based on my doctor’s vague hunches and third or fourth hand information, and also trans healthcare here, especially around meta and phalloplasty is shockingly awful, other places in the world are way ahead. I’m planning to share more when I have concrete information than my doctors relatively uninformed speculation

In terms of top surgery I had no issues at all about using my power chair joystick after. I was in hospital longer than most people (a couple of nights after surgery) so didn’t use my chair for that time, but I don’t think it would have been too difficult. I found as long as my elbows were by my sides I was fine and since I use my arm rests anyway there were no issues with me steering my chair. Even my chest harness caused no issues. I definitely think propelling a manual chair or using crutches would have been a bad idea in the first few weeks, but with support people and/ or a hired or borrowed powerchair and things like transfer boards if needed there’s definitely ways around that for anyone who really wants to surgery (if it’s not so important to you and you don’t want to go through that, that’s totally valid, but I also don’t want people to think it’s impossible).

[cy-cyborg]

Writing amputees: Phantom limb sensation/Phantom Limb pain

This was something I got asked about a lot whenever I made videos about amputee representation, so let's talk about Phantom Limb Sensation (PLS) and Phantom Limb Pain (PLP).

TW: Description of surgical amputation process. section with this content can be skipped and the start/end will be clearly marked.

What is it and what causes it?

Phantom Limb Sensation is when you can feel a limb, even after it's been amputated. This phantom limb is a VERY common side effect of amputation, one that almost every amputee experiences at some point. Depending on how the limb was amputated, how old the person was at the time and the condition of the limb before amputation, it can last for as little as a year to being a life-long condition.

it's caused by the part of your brain responsible for proprioception - the sense of where your body is in space. Your brain has an internal map of your body and specifically your nervous system, and it uses this to determine where certain body parts are in space, even without input from your 5 main senses, meaning you don't need to look to know where, say, your leg or hand is (usually, though other disabilities like autism and ADHD can affect this and make it less accurate). Usually, the brain senses where your body parts are using a combination of this map and input from nerves. But if something happens to your body part, that internal map can have a lot of trouble updating, and when the internal map and the nerve inputs don't match, it can cause your brain to panic and fill in the gaps from the missing input signals, creating the sensation that a lost body part, usually a limb, is still there. For some, the limb light be locked in place, other might have the sensation of the limb "growing back" (though as I understand it, this typically only happens to very young children) and others feel as though the limb is perfectly fine and moving along with the rest of the body normally.

This sensation isn't unique to people who have lost limbs mind you: some trans people who have had top or bottom surgery, people who've had mastectomies, and even people who have had growths or tumours removed often report a similar sensation of their removed parts still being present, though it's not usually as intense and fades after a few months to a few years on its own with minimal intervention, leading to it being categorized as a separate phenomenon to Phantom Limbs in these cases.

Phantom Limb Pain is an extension of phantom limb sensation, caused by the body's more extreme reaction to the same phenomenon. The exact reason why it occurs isn't known, but in many people, instead of feeling a persistent pressance of a limb that's no longer there, they will feel discomfort or pain radiating from the lost limb. For some people, it might be an itch on the phantom limb they can't scratch, for others, the pain can feel like intense "pins and needles" all over the lost limb, others feel an electric "zap" running through the non-existent nerves, live they've grabbed a low-voltage electic fence, some people feel a dull, pounding pain, like the lost limb is being crushed or pushed into positions it shouldn't be able to go into (e.g. someone who had their knee amputated might feel the joint bending in the wrong direction). Some people experience all of these, some only experience one. Everyone will be different.

How is it treated?

Like with many things in life, prevention is better than a cure. certain measures can be taken to lessen the intensity of PLP and PLS before it can even start.

Gore TW: description of the process of surgical amputations, skip to the "----" divider to avoid.

People who have had amputations in the last 10 years will go through a slightly different procedure than those who had amputations before then. Historically, the limb would be amputated by cutting directly through the limb and either sewn shut or by having a skin graft where tissue is used to create a "cap" at the end of the stump. These methods worked, but left nothing for the nerves to connect to once everything was healed, leading the brain to think the reason for the lack of signal from the limb is that the limb was simply broken. Not only can this cause added intensity to the nerve pain, and increase the risk of something called a neuroma, where the nerves attempt to mend the "break" and continue to grow until they hit the surface of the skin, causing them to bundle up and get tangled, creating a feed back loop and amplifying any signal from the area to unbearable levels (including phantom sensations).

Today though, when conditions allow, amputations are done by cutting through the limb as before, then once the skin layers are reached on the other side, surgeons cut downward, creating a long tab of skin which is pulled over the bottom of the stump and reattached to the front. This allows the major nerve pathways in the limb to connect with each other during the healing process, creating a loop in the nerves and tricking the brain into thinking it's still receiving signals from the amputated limb.

Those who had their amputations prior to this change in the procedure can have a similar operation done to achieve a similar effect, though in both cases, it doesn't always work and can lead to the brain producing very very strange phantom limb sensations. In my personal case, it creates a sensation that I can feel my own skin in the region as though it was something separate from the rest of the body, almost like I'm wearing a sock. Very odd, and honestly kind of cursed lol.

------------------------------------------------------

If prevention isn't an option though, different treatments exist.

One popular method is through compression. what's left of the amputated limb (called the stump) will be either wrapped in very strong compression bandages or the person can wear a fitted compression sock on the stump. This is usually done for the first 6-12 weeks after the amputation, though it can be done for longer under the supervision of a rehab specialist in some circumstances. After 6 weeks, 6-12 weeks, the stump will have healed enough for a prosthetic to be fitted. After this point, the person is encouraged to wear the prosthetic or at least the liner, usually made from silicone in modern prosthetics instead of a compression sock/bandage. The liners of the prosthetic offer milder compression, as does the socket of the prosthetic itself, and the "snug" feeling can, for some, make the phantom pain more bearable and the phantom sensation less frequent (though some people experience the opposite and will have increased PLP/PLS while adjusting to the prosthetic, though it usually subsides eventually).

For leg amputees specifically, they are encouraged to walk on their new prosthetics as much as possible, as the action of walking with the prosthetic will often trigger the phantom limb to start moving in time with the rest of the leg, and the sensation of walking can essentially trick the brain into using the phantom limb sensation to help the person walk more naturally and feel less unstable.

Another treatment is called Mirror Therapy, though this only works for single-limb amputees or arm and leg amputees who's amputations were on the same side (e.g. both left leg and left arm). The person puts their full remaining limb in front of a mirror and their amputated limb behind the mirror, then angles themselves so it appears that their full limb being reflected in the mirror is replacing the lost limb. If the person is experiencing an itch on their lost limb, they can scratch the full one, and look into the mirror. Eventually, your brain will feel the scratching sensation on the phantom limb instead.

If none of these options work, nerve pain medications such as gabapentin can be prescribed, though this is usually a last resort as these medications can have serious side effects and can prevent people from being able to do certain jobs or even drive depending on the dosage. As an absolute last resort, an injection can be given to the person to numb the stump. This does not stop the pain completely, but it does subdue it, though many doctors warn against this as it often means the person will not be able to feel if their stump is injured and can result in infected, untreated wounds.

Unfortunately, there is no "cure" yet, and many amputees just learn to live with PLP and PLS.

What things make you more or less likely to experience PLP/PLS?

There are some things that can make you more or less likely to experience PLP and PLS, and that can effect how intensely you experience them.

Your age when you lost the limb

People who are born without the limb almost never experience PLP and PLS, as their brain's internal map already knows the limb isn't there. Likewise, children who lost their limb very early in life don't usually experience PLS very intensely, or for very long, and are less likely to experience PLP at all. This is because when you are young, your brain is already updating that internal map because you're growing, so it has an easier time understanding the fact the limb isn't there anymore. Young brains are also constantly changing and growing, making them more adaptable in general to acquiring major disabilities. On the flip-side someone who lost their limb late in life is more likely to experience PLP and PLS for the rest of their lives. It can be managed, but it will likely always be pressant. Thier brains have not really needed to make any major updates to that map, often for decades, and are not really built to be able to do that, meaning PLP and PLS will likely take longer to go away, if they ever go away at all.

How you lost it and the condition of the limb before it was amputated.

If you lost your limb due to trauma, meaning events like accidents or major injury, the phantom sensation you experience will likely be much more painful, and could even feel like the injury or accident is happening over and over again. For example, someone who lost their arm to a shark attack might feel the sensation of the shark's teeth biting into it as well as the sensations described in the first section.

Alternatively, someone who had their limb amputated due to a pre-existing condition might continue to feel that condition even after the limb is gone. As a personal example, I've had multiple amputations throughout my life, but my most recent was due to a bone infection that formed at the bottom of my stump from a previous amputation. Now, when I experience phantom limb sensation, I can still feel where the infection reached the surface (where the nerves began to feel something was wrong). I had that leg amputated through the ankle as a young child, and when it was re-amputated higher up due to the infection, I didn't feel the whole leg, just the pre-existing stump.

Post Amputation Care

If a person does not receive proper medical care immediately after an amputation, their phantom sensation and pain will be significantly worse. My great Grandfather for example, lost part of his hand during WW2, but due to the situation, was not able to receive adequate medical care once he was established due to the medics being preoccupied with the actively dying. As a result of this and the traumatic nature of how he lost it in the first place, he experienced very intense phantom pain for the majority of his life. This is also important to keep in mind if your story takes place before the modern age, as it wasn't really understood how important post-amputation care was until recently, and many folks were left to just figure it out themselves.

Time

As with all things, phantom pain and phantom sensation fade with time. They may not ever go away entirely, but they do fade in intensity at least a little. This is especially important to keep in mind for characters with beyond-human lifespans. Your elderly grandmother character might not live long enough for their phantom pain to fade entirely, but your immortal vampire who's been alive for a millennia and lost their arm when they were human probably will.

Closing things to keep in mind

Wow, that was longer than I was expecting but I hope you found this all helpful. One last thing to keep in mind is that oftentimes, amputees who do experience PLS/PLP get pretty good at managing it, so you don't have to worry about it too much unless the amputation happens during the story itself or you want to make it a focus, this is just an explanation of what you can include if you like. Personally, though, I feel like it's an aspect of being an amputee that a lot of media rep overlooks, so it would be nice to see some more representation at least mention it. It doesn't have to be constant, but some brief comments or something of the like will go a long way.

[transsexual-experiences]

I have noticed that in some spaces, being binary trans seems to operate on a bell curve - everyone is familiar with the accusations of "not doing enough", and "doing enough" occupies a large subjective range, but after bottom surgery if you're no longer Visibly Trans without pants on, you can shift into "did too much" (especially if you look like just some guy/girl - hell, you can shift into this without bottom surgery too, if you don't look how people expect) and some other trans/queer people get really weird about it. I didn't give into pressure from Society or betray anyone; I wanted a dick all my life and was finally lucky enough to follow through.

!!! exactly

[your-queer-dad]

Hi! (Not calling you "dad" because I have trauma from an older guy forcing me to call him "Daddy".) I have a bit of a situation...How do I navigate this? For the last several years, I have been "best friends" with someone who is pretty much a HUGE part of the trans/LGBT community and fight for rights in our area. She herself is a trans woman. It's in quotes because the longer I know her, the more red flags and toxic traits seem to bubble up and that is someone you normally wouldn't see as a best friend. BUT I cannot end the friendship or call her out on it as she could easily have me disallowed from LGBT events throughout our entire area. It started pretty early on; she basically refused to see me as a man (I am closeted trans masc/male) in public because "I have made no effort to come out or LOOK like a man!". I am closeted because our area/my family tend to be very unsafe for trans folks and I cannot afford to move out of my parents' house right now. That progressed to her calling me "trans-trender" because I don't feel dysphoria, intend on being super femme even after I am able to transition, and don't want bottom surgery. (Top surgery and a hysto would be perfect for me.) From there, she's constantly going on about how trans men/masc folks are gross because we bleed every month and how trans femme/women who don't get bottom surgery are undeserving of support and are "gross and undesirable". (For what it's worth, I met her when she was still living as a man and always supported and loved her fully. She forgets she didn't just magically transition over-night...) But lately, it's reached a point that I don't think she could redeem herself in my heart anymore. (I am so used to being abused that her previously mentioned behaviors don't hurt as much as they should.) I met a really amazing person (also trans masc) and we have become inseparable and, during one of our more intimate chats, they came out to me as intersex which lead to a longer, more in-depth conversation about their body/identity which ended with me giving them links to things for support that I knew of but of course, I am not intersex so there's not much I could offer. So, I went to my so-called "friend" and asked her for some resources in the bigger cities since my other friend recently relocated for work. I have regretted that choice since... She launched into a whole thing about how "intersex people are being greedy by also being trans" and then DEFENDED the surgeries done on many intersex babies "because it doesn't happen THAT much and besides, the parents have to consent to it so it's not like it's a dirty little secret!" She's been stuck on that for a couple days which concerns me deeply because usually she "Drops it" after a couple hours. I am sorry for the ramble but this is running through my brain like a train and I just needed to put my thoughts out there. Posting anonymously just in case she sees this.

Hey kiddo, please don't apologise it's okay. I'm always here to listen and give support where I can. She sounds like a really hard friend to be around and I don't blame you for feeling uncomfortable with that. She completely ignored and invalidated yours and your friend's gender identity, that isn't fair even if she is trans herself. I'm so sorry kiddo. 🫂🫂🫂

- dad x

[gabessquishytum]

For all the trans headcanons and au's I've seen, I don't think I've ever seen anyone talking about trans!Hob getting bottom surgery, so here I am to fix this

Hob was rather lucky in that it wasn't too difficult for him to pass, he was rather tall for when he was born (in the modern age he'd be considered average leaning short though). He was strong and made sure that no one ever questioned his gender, if they did, Hob would make sure that they'd regret it.

Hob was one of the first trans men to start T, obviously since he was immortal he was just like "what's the worst that can happen" maybe there was some trial and error involved in getting to a decent level of T, but eventually he manages to get his body to a point where he's happier with it than he had ever been.

Now he has wanted bottom surgery for a while, but he also did not want to go through with having to stay at a hospital. Just the odds of his immortality being discovered was just too high for him to take the risk. He had already been drowned once, and he's certain that the result of his secret being found out would only be worse in the modern age.

But then Morpheus escapes. He comes back and admits he's Hob's friend. He introduces himself to Hob as Morpheus and agrees to meet with Hob on a more regular basis. The more they meet up, the more Hob is falling for Morpheus. Eventually Hob decides to come out to Morpheus as trans, to which Morpheus blinks at him and is like "I know?"

Hob: You knew? Since when? How?

Morpheus: I thought it was well established that I know most things about most people

Hob: Okay... fair. So you see me as a man?

Morpheus: You have always been a man in your dreams

Hob, almost crying now because most of his life he's had to hide this fact about himself for his own safety and even when he doesn't have to hide, it always felt like that most people would question his identity: So you've always known? And you've never once questioned that I'm a man?

Morpheus: What was there to question? Dreams are just as real as the waking world, often they are more truthful than the waking world. You are a man in your dreams, why should I, who am all dreams. question that

Hob stares at Morpheus in a stunned silence for a few moments before he gives into the temptation to give him the biggest hug he's capable of.

Morpheus was not expecting that reaction, but it wasn't unwelcome, so he returns the hug as best he can, it's a bit awkward because Morpheus isn't used to physical contact, but he's doing his best to comfort his friend.

Morpheus: Did... did I say something wrong?

Hob with tears in his eyes: I love you

Maybe Morpheus freaks out after that, but somehow they get their shit together and start dating.

At some point Hob mentions that he really wants bottom surgery, but that he really doesn't want his immortality to be discovered and hospitals always make him really nervous. So Morpheus, probably after a dream in which Hob experiences all the joys of having a dick and gets to top without using a strap, promises that if Hob wants to go through with bottom surgery, that he'll be there every step of the way and make sure that his immortality is not discovered.

So immediately upon waking, Hob schedules an appointment with a doctor.

As promised, Morpheus is there with him through every tedious doctors appointment and through his boring and painful stay at the hospital after his operation is over. Luckily for Hob, since he's immortal, he heals much quicker than would be average, but he still needs help with lots of things in the weeks after his surgery. So Morpheus is there to make sure he eats and to help him with everything (Dream's siblings are watching in shock as Morpheus is happily waiting on Hob hand and foot and helping him in every way he can in his own quiet way, they've never seen him like this)(Desire has bets on how long this relationship will last, Death has cast her bet that this relationship will last much longer than any of his previous ones.)

Eventually they get to have sex in the waking world again. Morpheus gets to help Hob figure out what he likes again now that he has a dick. Hob is immensely pleased with the fact that he can now top without having to use a strap. Morpheus just loves watching Hob rediscover what he likes now that his body more accurately reflects himself.

Anyway, I just want to see more trans people who want bottom surgery in fics, I almost never see that and it's really a shame

is 🪐taken?

This is such a lovely little ficlet, thank you 🪐!! I always love it when Hob comes out the Dream in fics, and Dream always responds with such kindness. I firmly believe that Dream would always see Hob as a man from the very beginning, and would just innately be able to view him as he dreams/imagines/fantasises himself to be. In a way its more natural for Dream to look at Hob like that, than it is to see his physical "real" form.

I also love Hob’s phobia of hospitals here. It's natural for him to fear them as an immortal, but I think there's also subtext here about being queer (trans in particular) and dealing with medical situations. There's a really sweet allegory within Hob being initially too fearful to go and have the procedure but then being able to do it with Dream’s support. It's not just that Dream can keep the secret of his immortality safe, he will also protect and advocate for Hob while he's vulnerable. I'm very soft about that.

And of course Hob getting to have a dick is wonderful and delicious and it's so perfect that Dream is the one who gets to teach him how to use it. It's Hob’s favourite step in their journey together so far, and although he plans to be with Dream for thousands of years, he's sure that he'll always remember the moment in which he got to sheath himself in his lover for the first time. He can't wait to practise every day until he knows exactly what they both like best, and exactly how to make Dream come apart on his cock.

It's just the best thing in the world to wake up from a dream and know that his dick is still there - and he'll never stop thanking Dream, for making it all real.

[prettynice8]

Hidan x preferably male reader

Okay I’m going anon because this is gonna be KINKY

Um anyway haha I’m talking hair pulling

I’m talking like uh biting

umm umm 😇 oh yeah like um

idk fucking…um maybe can you do A fucking trans ftm reader or some shit idfk if it’s just male that’s cool too i don’t know

like i don’t know sex that’s what usually happens ⁉️

i don’t know I’m so tired right now 😭 this is turning out not that kinky OH SHIT WAIT choking yeah that too but it needs to be HIM anyway yeah 😎 yeah anyway thanks im so tired so im not editing fucking *shit* but yeah hope this is readable anyway thanks bye im gonna go take a nap 😍

oh yeah but then it’s like he calls you a Bitch etc because it’s da- Hidan like ⁉️ anyway but we know he loves us 😌 stupid man couldn’t last a day without us with his horny ahh 😝😚✌️ okay bye for real why is this so long help im sorry they say im chatty but wow but yeah now bye 🥲💀

OMFG this was so funny I can't

Hidan x ftm male reader

This guy

Stuff: swearing, degradation, BDSM?, kinky shit, choking, biting, possessive Hidan, hair pulling, dom Hidan, subby reader, top Hidan, bottom reader, smashing, rough sex, hints of fluff

Word Count: 1,036

Notes: by far the most entertaining request I've gotten. And sorry if this isn't quite right, I'm cis so I don't know a whole lot. happy pride

Hidan had been gone for an awful long time on Akatsuki duty, a whole 3 months to be exact, far too long from his home, and more importantly far too long from his adorable little boyfriend. Though he's been gone even longer, this trip felt particularly difficult because he missed your final bottom surgery, and he secretly felt terrible.

Right when he walks into the house, he sees you and his gruff demeanor quickly brightens up, but just as quickly drops since he has to keep up a certain image and fawning over his boyfriend didn't particularly fit that.

The moment you see him your face beams, so you run and jump into his arms, which thankfully he's quick enough to catch you.

"I've missed you so much honey." You stated with a massive smile on your face. Hidan does his cool guy thing and simply gives you a slight smirk.

"God, you're acting so clingy, so fucking annoying." He said coldly. "How'd the surgery go?" He asked, clearly his compassion for you getting the better of him.

"Pretty well, it felt weird at first, guess you're lucky you didn't have to be there for the worst parts." You answered, still brightly smiling at him.

He looked down at you with an apologetic look for a moment, "Sorry I wasn't, I'll try better to stay with you." He said, his cool guy persona practically destroyed at this point, but you had to open your fucking mouth.

"Aw, you care about meeee." You cheekily exclaimed, causing his light smirk to darken into a glare.

"I care about you fucking ass, speaking of which..." He replied before tightly gripping your ass.

You yelp gayly at his tight grip before your bright smirk returns to your face, though in your eyes now there's a burning hint of lust. "Fuck yeah!" You cheered brightly before Hidan pulled your hair, pulling your head to the side and exposing your neck, which he dived into the crook of your neck, attaching his canines to the spot.

He starts aggressively nipping at your neck, you would call them love bites but with the way he does it, they're hate bites, but you still continue to moan lightly. He continues this assault on your neck before going to sucking.

He sucks at a certain part of your neck, leaving a dark purple mark in his wake, causing your moans to get even louder. He multiplies into several deep purple marks until your neck is a mess of purple and red marks scattered throughout.

Hidan continues his sucking even through carrying you to your guys' shared bed, only stopping after finally laying you down. He then crashes his lips into yours, creating a kiss made of only teeth and tongue.

His kiss is powerful as his tongue completely dominates your own, causing you to moan deeply into the kiss. He then tries out your brand of penis, cupping the clothed member in his hand, causing your sounds to become even more frequent in the passionate kiss.

He takes your pants off and starts jerking you off, pumping his hand along your now hard cock.

"How is it? Now I have a new way to make you act like a fucking slut." He stated, both tightening and quickening his grip on your cock, causing you to moan at an ear shattering noise as you burst into his hand.

He licks up the cum on his hand, licking up as much as he can before stripping the rest of your clothes off you, and then soon after his own.

Hidan then flips you over so that you're on all fours and winds his hand up, causing it to quickly come crashing down on your ass in a powerful spank. You shriek in a mix of pain and pleasure, loving that you have your boyfriend back and he hasn't changed at all.

He roughly pulls your hair back to gently kiss you on the cheek, the duality of men. "I missed you." He said lightly. What a kind and uncharacteristic thing to say, he fixes this by plunging his cock into your already lubricated hole.

You already prepared before he came home. Hidan is a lot of things and one of them is consistent. He doesn't give your preparation a single thought as he thrusts his hips roughly into you, pounding the shape of his cock back into you.

"Sorry bitch, I just figured that you've probably gotten too tight, I had to re-loosen you up." He said, and loosen you up he does.

He thrusts his cock wildly and almost painfully into you, causing your moans to only crescendo and fill the room, along with the sound of skin quickly slapping into each other.

He wraps his hand back around your hard member, only quickening, because of course he still can, his pace into you. Hidan matches the pace of his hips with that of his hand, making you putty into his hands, literally, since he causes you to once again burst in his hand.

He quickened his pace as he reached his upcoming orgasm, filling your insides with his warm seed. He slows down his hips, gently rubbing your sides that have been bruised by the same hands, but he is far from done.

He goes right back to fucking you, his big cock rearranging your insides. His hands pull you hair back so painfully that tears develop in your eyes, a mix of the pain and amazing pleasure you were feeling, evident from how you have your now third orgasm of the night, eliciting the loudest moan yet, which is saying a lot.

He quickly flips you over and traps you into a deep and powerful kiss, one that is strangely warm and loving from him, before he once again cums in your abused hole.

He keeps his cock in your ass, still very far from being done, but he wants to stay like this with you for a few moments, holding you tight in his arms as he rests his head on your chest.

He gently traces the scars there, happy to have this moment with you. "Hope you're ready for round 3 bitch."

THE END

[romanarose]

About a Girl: Chapter 2

Beautiful header by my beloved @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

Joel Miller x Trans!Fem!Reader (Nickname, Blue)

Summary: Blue surprises Joel by rebuffing everyone advances in favor of him.

Warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter: 18+ ONLY!! I cannot warn against everything, but these are major themes. Joel is a lil ignorant but not out of hate. He just doesn't know. He's trying his best. There will be smut. Penetrative sex, all of the anal play, oral. There will be transphobia from other people. Addiction and alcoholism. QUICK child neglect not by Joel but I promise, Sarah is fine and is having a great time in life. Fetishization of women attracted to women by a shitty guy. Will update as needed. Again, this is adult content. Expect adult content.

Immersivity: Reader is transgender, AMAB female, reader has had gotten bottom surgery, not top, and is on hormones. reader has visible hair and a blue streak in hair, but not described. Could be braids, could be natural hair, whatever. Header is for aesthetics only. Reader is about Joel and Tommy's height. Let me know if i miss anything!

AN: Another chapter that got too long so I had to seperate it lol. NEXT CHAPTER starts with the pride event lol

TRANS LIVES MATTER! TRANS YOUTH MATTER! TRANS ELDERLY MATTER! TRANS WOMEN MATTER! TRANS MEN MATTER! NON BINARY TRANS MATTER!

The band wasn’t bad, he’d admit. Talia’s brother played base fine and the singer was okay, it just wasn’t Joel’s kind of music. Joel liked country. Garth Brooks, Reba, Dolly. Anyone with the last name Carter or Cash of course. He didn’t understand grunge. He didn’t understand why it sounded like… that.

Still, he was having a good time. It wasn’t because of you. No way. He definitely didn’t stare at the way you jumped around or head banged. He liked the way, when Tommy tried to flirt, you shot him down. He liked the way you liked to stand by him. 

Tess and Talia were not paying attention to the show, making out enough to make Joel blush. Not because it was two women; he’d seen Tess brazenly make out in public with men and women, including Tommy of all fucking people. He tried to pay attention to you. 

You were funny, making him laugh, and a contagious joy he couldn’t help but be attracted to. Joel wasn’t an idiot, he knew you were flirting with him. He knew he wanted you too. It made him swell with pride that you turned down Tommy, who’d make out with you the way you deserved like Talia and Tess were not, in favor of subtle arm touches with Joel… but he didn’t think it was a good idea. Joel hadn’t dated in years, and his last first date was junior year of high school with Kayla. Sarah was so young, he was nervous about bringing another woman around her. She was already so confused about her mom, why she was never around, why she’d come and go. She even asked if Tess was her new mom once because she was Joel’s only friend and around him and Tommy all the time. It probably wasn’t good for her. And he was just… so damn busy. He didn’t spend enough time with Sarah as it was. 

Max stumbled in, blue jeans and brown jacket, pushing through people to get to their group. Max was insufferable, but Tess joked Joel was just jealous of Max’s ability to grow a beard. It was, admittedly, impressive. Dark, full, and fucking all over. Joel could do a mean mustache, but his beard… left something to be desired.

“Ugh, this guy.” Joel murmurs to himself, but you hear. You turn around and smile at him. He noticed at the house you were quite tall, about his and Tommy’s height but figured you were in heels. When going out, Tess usually wore big boots that put her at eye level with him. Now, he sees you’re in flats, just tall. A lot of men aren’t about that, but Joel ain’t no coward. Except he was, because he wasn’t going to make a move. He’d probably never see you after tonight, right? Tess wasn’t known to stick with anyone longer than a few weeks. It was a miracle Tommy had met you thrice already. 

“I won’t tell Tess.” You promise, and Tess detaches her lips from Talia, frowning.

“Won’t tell me what?”

You pretend to zip your lips and lock them up.

Max joined you all. “Ah damn! I missed the free lesbian porn!” 

Joel noticed Talia shoot you a look. Tess smacked Max's head. “That’s strike one, pervert. Behave or I’m gonna stop inviting you places.”

“Ahh c’mon don’t do that! You’re my only chance to get away from the old ball and chain.”

Joel rolled his eyes. “No one made you marry her, Max. ”

Max laughed, not catching on that Joel didn’t like him. Max thought he was god's gift to women and that all men wanted to be him. “Yeeeeeaahh but the bitch baby trapped me.” He clapped Joel on the shoulder, and Joel shrugged him off. “You know how that goes, huh Joel?”

His skin crawled in disgust. Technically, he was right, but that wasn’t the point. “My daughter isn’t a trap, Max, and neither are your kids.”

“Haha, right.” Max waved him off, and Joel turned back to the show, shaking his head. He saw you smiling at him. “And who is this young thing?” Max shamelessly eyed you up and down. You’d shed your jacket at the coat check in preparation for the pit.

Joel was about to step between, to situate his body between you and him but he stopped himself. Maybe you wanted to be looked at like this. It’s the fucking 90’s after all, the world had changed a lot since he was young, changed in ways he couldn’t understand. He didn’t want to seem like he was possessive of you by any means. You didn’t owe him anything. But what if Max was making you uncomfortable? His dad raised him right, teaching him and Tommy to be protective of women… what if you didn’t need protecting-

“My eyes are up here, buddy.” You spoke with irritation, crossing your arms and cocking your hips. “Ain’t much to look at anyway.”

Tess tells him strike 2. 

“Hey now!” Max laughs mockingly, hands raised in defense. “I’ll behave, I’ll behave! I was just mess’n with yuh.”

You give him the ‘I’m watching you’ motion an turn back to the show. Max mutters something under his breathe that makes Joel turn around to glare at him, but Tommy’s already arrived with shots. Joel declines, knowing he’ll have to DD, so you take his. Watching you drink 2 straight shots of tequila made Joel just want you more.

Suddenly, you’re squealing. “This is my song!” Okay, Joel could recognize this one, it played on the radio. The beginning had heavy guitar and he watches you jump around, hair bouncing as you banged your head. The verse quickly dropped, and you turned around to face him, taking his hands in yours as you sang along, looking directly in his eyes. “Load up on guns, bring your friends, It's fun to lose and to pretend, She's over bored and self-assured, Oh, no, I know a dirty word”

When the ‘hey nows’ started, you motioned for him to sing along, and he did. He knew that much. Anything you make you smile like that. Chores started picking up again, and you went back to jump and spinning, a bright smile beaming on your face. You repeated the hand holding for the second verse, but when the second verse started, Joel’s cell phone began to ring. Conditioned to think a cellphone call meant something was wrong, (Tommy’s in jail, Sarah is sick at daycare, dad died), Joel pulled it out and saw the number. He sighed, hating to leave you as you danced around the pit, but he had to answer.

Stepping outside into the empty smoking area, Joel flipped it open. “Hello?” The door closed behind him, shutting out the blaring music.

“Joel? Are you at a bar?” 

Here we go. “Kinda. I’m at a show with Tommy and Tess. Some local band. Everything alright?”

“Why aren’t you home? I called and some young girl picked up. Are you dating someone?”

Why would it matter to her? Why would he have a women he’s sleeping with at his house while he’s at a bar? Why didn’t she just ask Jessica? All questions he should ask, but Joel learned its best just to keep things simple with Kayla. 

“That’s the sitter, Kayla. Remember Jessica from next door? She watches Sarah sometimes.”

Joel heard her huff. “So you can go get drunk with ‘the boys’? And Jesus Joel, Jessie? How old is she, 11?”

“She’s 16, Jess. You left 5 years ago, times arrow marches on.” He knew the sarcasm was a mistake, but it slipped sometimes.

“Nice Joel. real nice. I guess alcohol is more important than my daughter.”

“I havn’t gone to a bar of any kind in probably a year or more. Tommy dragged me out-”

“Spending my child support-”

What child support? “He’s paying. Kayla, is there a reason you called or did you just wanna complain about me?”

“I wanted to talk to my daughter!”

“It’s 9 pm, she’s asleep.”

“Well clearly you don’t care about her, just like you didn’t care about me! I’m coming to get her, you stay out with ‘the boys’”

Here she goes. Kayla was known for her erratic behavior, low impulse control, grandiose ideas. The cheating was constant. In fact, Joel won custody of Sarah on the basis of abandonment when Kayla left to meet up with a guy while Joel was at work only to come home to police at his house when the neighbors called about a screaming baby. Sarah was fine, she had just been fed and was only alone for an hour, but the whole incident wracked him with guilt he’d never quite let go of. Kayla had to have supervised visits for a while as custody proceedings dragged on. Joel trusted her now with Sarah, but it’d been a long road. 

“Kayla, Sarah is perfectly safe. I can send you the picture of her fast asleep Jessica texted me-”

“Oh, you’re texting teenagers now?”

“I’m texting the babysitter.” Joel tried to stay calm, but he hated when Kayla accused him of sleeping with people. She’d really only been right about Tess, but by the time she accused him of sleeping with Tess, they hadn’t hooked up in 2 years. This wasn’t the first time she accused him of sleeping with someone too fucking young, but it was the first time she’d accused him of being inappropriate with a minor. Joel hated the idea that she said any of this to other people, but usually she’d work herself out of a spiral by the next day.

“I want to see Sarah and you can’t keep her away from me!”

Actually, Joel could. Kayla had lost all legal rights to Sarah after everything that happened. Still, Joel didn’t want to keep her away. Sarah deserved a mom, and Kayla was a good mom now that she’s sober and on medication. If Joel had to navigate a few arguments so Sarah had a mom around, he would. 

He spoke calmly. “It’s Friday, she’s asleep. If you’d like to come get her Saturday and Sunday, you can.”

There was a long pause over the phone, and Joel prayed he wouldn’t have to leave you forever to stop Kayla from waking Sarah.

“Okay, yeah that sounds good.”

“Yeah. Just… text me tomorrow when you’re on your way.” Joel sighsin relief, scrubbing his face with his free hand. He heard the door open, turned around to see you.

“Whatever.” Kayla hung up the phone.

You looked at him sympathetically. “Everything okay? I turned around and you were gone, Tommy said you ran outside.”

“Yeah.” He huffed out. “Yeah it’s fine, uh, just Sarah’s mom wanted to talk to her, didn’t really understand why 9 pm was a bad time.” He chuckled wryly, hiding his heart rate slowly calming down.

You nodded. “You get i figured out?”

“Yeah, he’s she says she’ll pick her up tomorrow for the weekend. I dunno if she actually will when she’s done spiraling but… We’ll see.”

Noticeably, you were listening to him intently. You weren’t just waiting for him to stop taling or listening to respond, you were… just listening. “Is she alright?” You said with genuine empathy.

It was Joel’s turn to nod as he leaned back against the cool brick wall, willing his body to relax, telling himself it was okay, to calm down…. But it wouldn’t. “She um… she’s got some mental problems. It ain’t her fault, really. There’s just things that happen in her head she can’t make sense of. She’s a lot better now, real good with Sarah when she’s around she’s just… not around much.”

Waiting to make sure he said his peace, you speak. “You sound very patient Joel. I’m not sure I’d stay this calm.”

Joel burst out a sharp laugh at that. “I wouldn’t say I’m calm, my heart's about to explode right now.” Right away Joel felt like he said to much, admittedly a weakness he wasn’t supposed to have. He was supposed to have it all together for Sarah, for Tommy.

Your brows furrow together as you step forward, hand raised. “May I?”

Whatever it is, Joel agrees to. You place your hand on his chest, and surely you could feel his heart rate. “Do you have anxiety?”

Your hand felt so warm on him. “What’s that?”

You eyes remain on his white shirt with green flannel unbuttoned. “It’s like, chronic, excessive worry. Often irrational. I’m worried you’re having an anxiety attack right now.”

That sounded… scary. “No! No I’m fine.”

You look at him, eyes that he swear sparkled  under the streetlights of the dark alley. “Can you breath okay? I want you to breath with me, Joel.” Your voice was soft, but not patronizing. He didn’t feel like you were talking down to him, just guiding him. Joel does as you instruct, breathing deep, holding, letting go. After a few moments, you frown. “I'm sorry, that usually helps, but your heart is still pounding.”

Under this light, your blue hair shining and your cute, worried face… “I don’t uh…” Joel swallowed thickly. “I don’t think anxiety is the reason anymore.” 

Confusion flittered across your face between the realization did. “Oh.” You chuckle with a smile. “Do you… want me to stop touching you?”

It was barely above a whisper, his voice broken and desperate. “Please don’t stop.”

“Okay.” You smile, pressing him further into the wall, face growing closer to him. “I won’t.” You drew yourself closer still, lips brushing against his but not sealing it yet. Joel desperately wanted to lunge forward and kiss you, but he felt frozen under your touch. “Do you want me to stop now?” You ask, words but breath across his cheek, asking for permission.

“No.”

Your taste was unlike anything he’d ever had in his mouth, opening up so naturally for you to take care of him, for you to devour him piece by piece and let every single frustration and anxiety calm down. Your tongue in his mouth was all that mattered.

Joel reached up o hold you bare arms, but it was there he noticed the goosebumps. He pulled away, and to his dissapoitment, you did too.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” You begin to apoligize. “I thought you were- I misread it-”

His eyes went wide with worry. “No! No I didn’t want you to stop i just-” Joel scrambles to take off his flannel. “You were cold.”

He watched you smile grow as you shyly placed your arms though the sleeve. “That’s gotta be the one thing we have in common, huh. Grunge and country love flannel.”

“Yeah.” Joel chuckled. “They do.” He took initiative, tugging on your sleeves to bring you back to him and wrapping your body up in his arms. You felt like you fit perfectly there. You resumed making out with him, growing sloppier as the desire took over, tongues dancing together as you began to feel up his body. Joel was not the fittest man, he knew he had more around the middle than Tommy, but he was strong. He liked knowing you could feel his muscles. He liked knowing he could protect you. He hoped it made you feel safe. He hoped it turned you on.

Then your hand went for his belt buckle and Joel froze. “Do you want me to stop?” You ask again, and he contemplates the answer. Your fingers don’t move an inch until they reach up to grab his chin, forcing him to look in your eyes. 

“Joel. Do you want me to blow you until you forget about all the things you carry on those giant shoulders?”

He swallowed thickly, hands flexing and clenching at his sides. “You… you don’t have to, Blue…”

You smirk at that. “That’s not what I asked, honey. Say no and I’ll happily walk back in there holding your massive hands and make Max lose his mind. Say yes and I’ll make you lose your mind. Either one is great for me.” The way you looked at him, gentle and open, Joel felt like he could truly say no and it wouldn’t change a thing. You wouldn’t guilt him or accuse him of cheating or not being attracted post-baby… But Joel didn’t want to say no. He knew it was a risk, out here in the alleyway… but you were on the other side of the door, it wouldn’t open on your side which would give time…

“I want to- I mean… Yes.” Joel spoke clearly, decidedly. I wanted you to know he meant it. 

You smile brightly, looking like a fucking angel in his flannel as you drop to your knees on the concrete. Eagerly, you undo his belt and the jingle of the metal entices him even more, cock hardening in his blue jeans. 

“Fuck… you sure you wanna do this, you don’t gotta.” He was praying you didn’t stop.”

“Joel Miller,” You chuckled, fingers getting between his skin and boxers, ready to pouce as you looked up at him. “I have been wanting you down my throat since the moment I laid eyes on you, and watching you be a good dad, good brother, good friend did not make this easier on me. Do you have any idea what a catch you were?”

Joel did not think he was a catch. He was a single dad barely getting by and he wasn’t much to look at. He wasn’t sure why he caught your- oh your mouth is on his balls. Jerking him off, you slobber all over his sensitive sacks, unable to fit both in your mouth at once. Quickly, you bring him close to the edge already, having felt nothing but his own fist in 2 years and even then, that was rare. Joel found himself falling asleep in the shower sometimes, who has time for masturbating? You were so eager to please, so enthusiastic, like you just wanted him and only him when there were a hundred men whose dick you could be gagging on that weren’t… him.

And you were gagging. Joel had a lot of insecurities but he knew he was packing. 

Joel wanted to hold your head, to fuck your throat and just let loose on you, to bend you over the dumpster and rail the absolute fuck out of you… but he wasn’t that guy. He couldn’t be bold and adventurous like you were.

You pull off him with a gasp, only breathing long enough to beg for him to come in our mouth. Joel was a polite man, he knew ladies were supposed to cum first… but since you asked…

 He couldn’t keep his moans down as he came down your throat, your beautiful eyes too intense as they stared up at him for Joel to keep him eyes on. He came ropes, it felt like it wouldn’t end he was so pent up but you swallowed every drop. Fucking perfect. 

When he finished, Joel was too in shock up against the wall to even move. You suck on his soft cock like you were still making out with him, delivering a soft kiss at the base of her curls and Joel was thankful he was a thorough showerer. 

Bending over, Joel helped you up and even dusted off the knees of your pants to not arouse suspicion. He catches you smiling at him. 

“You’re a sweetheart, you know that?”

Joel and you walk back into the venue, hand in hand, Joel beaming with pride that you’re wearing him flannel. He even tells you to keep it at the end of the night.

When he gets home, Tommy pays the sitter a generous amount as Joel thanks her, asking if she was good. She was, because of course she was. Sarah was the perfect daughter and deserved a more stable life. A life with two parents Joel had held out for so long, taking Kayla back after every bender, after every affair, after every manipulation and aggression. Until Sarah had been put in danger, it was worth it. Now Joel feels guilt that she was put in that position because Joel didn’t see the signs.

As Joel stares at his sleeping daughter, all tucked away in her purple blankets, hair springing out from her head. Joel had tried to get her to sleep with her hair in a bonnet but she kept ripping it off and hated sleeping with her hair in a pony tail. Joel had to pick his battles. Still, she looked so cute like this. She was such a sweet kid, so happy and loving to everyone around her. Joel worried about the future, about paying for her to do school activities and field trips and vacations, about giving her the life she deserved. Bill paid him well, but fuck, everything was so expensive… prices just kept rising and rising it was unbelievable. He would get another job, but then Sarah wouldn’t have a dad around at all, and deserved at least one parent she could depend on. Joel would do anything for her.

There was just no time in the day to date. So why did he ask for your number tonight?

NEXT CHAPTER I SWEAR

Thanks for the love you guys!!!

Joel is a good guy he's trying so hard.

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[bitchapalooza]

It’s 2 the morning, might I present to you Cross (trans) Guild headcanons:

Mihawk has had both top and bottom surgery. He claims his top surgery was done by himself and indicated by the tone of his voice he is not joking. Evidence however suggests otherwise. Will he ever come out with the name of the surgeon who operated on him? Never, he enjoys the expression on people’s faces whenever he says he cut them off himself lmao. It’s really scary how unbothered he is when administering his own hrt.

Buggy unfortunately can’t have surgery of any kind but he’s lucky his devil fruit at least allows him the privilege of chopping off and reattaching his tits depending on if he really wants them in the moment. Being mid conversation with someone when a pair of honkers come flying by is very common on the Big Top and is no longer a shocker to the veterans of the crew. Newbies however freak out which Buggy finds hilarious so he keeps doing it. Because he can’t take shots, he uses testosterone gel—for which he has been banned from touching people for a few hours after because he’s really bad at applying it completely.

Crocodile chose not to completely transform his body, however it’s not like his body would allow Ivankov’s treatment anyway. It’s an automatic defense for his body to dissolve into sand when punctured—unless when under anesthesia. He was able to take a low dosage of Ivankov’s power before his DF powers took over; he still has the puncture scars. He’s had top surgery but finds phalloplasty to be far too risky. If he’s honest, even the top surgery was pushing his anxiety which would only cause his body to go into defense mode more frequently. He takes t-shots no problem. Though he wishes to train himself to be able to take Ivankov’s ability more in order to fully transform his body.

[1eoness]

Could you make a Dom!Leon x trans ftm reader NSFW fic with some fluff thrown into there?

୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ author rambling; HI i am eating pineapple rn and i never forgot this request. just to clarify and for some context, i dont have experience of writing !reader anything out of sub afab so im sorry if this is super inaccurate or inapplicable or unsatisfying and im open to criticism on this :( :) idk im so sorry aghdfhdsfhdj i really need to work on this. oh and i read some ftm smut for this so ty to those writers :> pls criticize anything off (with reason ofc). [btw i feel like this is super bad im sorry im not feeling creative rn i have writers block :((( ]

anyway 'DOM!LEON KENNEDY X TRANS FTM READER NSFW WITH SOME FLUFF THROWN IN THERE' COMING UP. i'm sorry this took so long for such short content too :(

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cw: fluffy dom!leon kennedy, trans ftm!reader (w/ bottom surgery) [i can always redo this if you don't like me mentioning top/bottom surgery]. praise, oral (reader receiving)

synopsis : re4r leon and he loves u and ur worried little face and he's gonna kiss it better (and fuck it better, maybe).

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ -♡- ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

leon loves you. he knows you're constantly worried over him being troubled over his trauma but he wants you to know, between every crevice of his clouded thoughts, that he loves you and it's the surest thing he knows. it's hard to admit but even when he loses himself, it will always, and forever be clear to him that you have his heart and there's a reason why.

you were about to get under the covers to go to sleep (after a day that felt longer than it should be.). though, you lowered your headphones to the lower end of the volume once you saw leon through the bedroom doorway.

"baby, i wanna tell you something." leon said, his quiet and soft voice only going a decibel higher as he crawls to you on your bed. he hated seeing you about to sleep with such a worried look on your handsome face.

you thought he didn't notice? even if you're his neutral-faced boy, he knows when the air around you feels more somber than usual. "do you ever feel.."

"like a plastic bag?" you quipped quickly. (i'm sorry if you don't get it)

"no, damn it." leon's mutter-reply followed with a quiet chuckle that you echoed. he likes that about you, your incessant annoying humor (but you'll never beat him in that). he sighs, and tries again. "you know, like... you're kind of.. stressed over someone else's troubles?"

to be honest, he doesn't really know how to go about it. he doesn't want you to think you're burdening him—though, you could never ever make him feel like that. leon nears you, hovering above you and adoring your face wherever his mind runs. for some reason, before you guys go to sleep he just does this. he also likes talking to you before you both go to sleep ♡.

you hum, just a little bit sleepy. "what do you meann?" you ask quaintly, and leon's heart melts at the tone of your slightly languid voice. you sounded so cute. a rather random yet soft laugh escapes before he dips down to give you a small kiss on your cheek.

"...y/n, i'll just be straight—i don't want you going to bed looking so.. upset." leon mutters softly, rubbing over the skin of your cheekbone with his thumb. maybe he shouldn't have gone into detail how heavy his mission felt. because when he was done talking, you gave him some short comfort and impulsively stood up and said that you needed to wash the dishes (and the dishwasher was literally running when you said that).

at first he thought he did something wrong and upset you, and the guilt immediately seeped in. naturally, he didn't want it to go undiscussed, that would murder him! so he went to find you ASAP. but when he went to check on you in that dim kitchen, he saw you with your back turned and trying to silence your tears. apparently, you felt so bad for him it was enough to hurt you, too. you were just too sweet—leon also felt bad. he gave you some space for a bit, though he's sorry because he really wants to be there for you and he can't afford to leave you by yourself sometimes :(

you looked a little to the side from his forward words. you didn't really know what to say in response, you were just.. tired, and also worried. leon understands this, picking up on it and showing it by giving you a reassuring, subtle smile. he wants to see you smiling, too, and he knows just how to do it. it's his favorite thing about his little boy ♡.

"..come, baby." he coos quietly as he began to take a hold on either sides of your face, knowing you don't need discussion right now. maybe loving is enough. and loving you is a way of reassuring himself, you just need to accept that :( so you be good for him and let him give you the praise you deserve (and so much more).

he kisses you on the forehead first. he loves cradling your handsome little face, placing safe pecks all over it. especially on that spot a little adjacent from under your eyes. leon hums when his lips reach your jaw, peppering it with innocent love. but will it really only go that far? "because you're the most perfect boy ever." he reasons hushedly, his left hand holding the side of your neck and caressing it gently.

oh, it's going to be one of those nights where he kisses you all over and doesn't leave you alone.. but you know better than to complain.

"y're so clingy..." you decided to joke, though you both knew you loved it. while you giggled at his antics, you can feel him smiling into the skin of your neck. he's so ready to spoil you rotten.. and you had no idea:( ♡

he moves his broad hands under your shirt, handling your being with tutelage. the fuss of the sheets make hush noise as he moves downwards, worshipping your body along the way by placing kisses over your clothed stomach. "...so?" he laughs softly against the skin of your lower inner thigh, the fluttery feeling of his lips planting a kiss on it making you shudder. he sees you, and how you turn so bashful all of a sudden.

"..tickles?" leon mumbles amusedly.

"yeah-" you mutter in response before he abruptly did it again on your stomach this time, which made you giggle. you were just too precious to him!

he holds your thighs in his hands for a minute, resting his head against your left thigh. you see the muscles on his arm flex subtly while he does so, your stomach tumbling at witnessing his strength at such a mild moment. for a minute he just gazes at you fondly, a hinting coyness hiding beneath his expression.

you were making it so tough for him. he just wants to kiss you all over . hell, he might even want to merge corporealities with you.

he doesn't speak, his eyes trailing down to your pelvic area while unnoticeably smirking to himself. you were so cute to him, so what else can he do but lift your thighs over his broad shoulders?

but he looks up at you, immediately. his fingertips are teasing at the hem of your bottom clothing, insinuating what he wants to do for you as he lightly taps at your skin. "baby, may i?" he asks with a sudden comforting tone. he'll never make you do something you don't wanna do. but like said, if you accepted, there's no promise that he's going soft on you.. but that's because he just wants you to be all nice and happy! a very innocent motive ♡

"mhm.." you hummed lowly, willingly giving him your greenlight. and has leon said he loves you?

"thank you, love.." he mutters shortly in reply before pulling your pajama bottoms just a little down. down enough for him to free your pretty shaft. he sees you blushing, covering the bottom half of your face with your sleepy hands.

and this man.. was so hard to predict!

the soft hunk of a man wants to wrap his right arm around your abdomen, pull your hips up to his face. "leon!-" you gasp abruptly with that same low voice.

"shhh, baby." leon mumbled while his left hand snaked around to cage your right thigh firmly to his shoulder. his knees dip on the comforters, pulling his boy's lower body up like he was challenged to lift a feather.

you quickly brought your hands up to take your headphones off, but leon suddenly spoke when you pried the muffs off your ears.

"keep them on." he cuts your actions off. the subtle demand of his tone says you're going to keep them on. he, somehow, reaches to turn the volume up on your headphones. you were puzzled, not knowing what he was aiming to do with such-

"a-aah!-" you yelped in utter surprise. a dribble of spit threads from his pretty lips and down onto your length..

he's hunched over as he takes your tip, then more in his mouth. he glances at your dumbfounded eyes, and you swear you could see him smirking to himself. but before you could think further, he was suddenly suckling onto your cock so firmly you started to squirm.

but that's why leon's holding you so tightly, so you can take it the way he needs you to~

you felt restricted. leon wants to steal your senses, inject pleasure in your veins like he were trying to fucking save you. he's beginning to get so hard that it makes him whine against your shaft, and he's so hard that you're making it difficult for him to think rationally.

"l-leonn! slow down!~" you cried without sense, which only urged his fingers pressing into your skin as he held you in place. he takes an inch further, his mouth working eagerly, making sure you can understand his carnal urge of making you cum with his mouth. "uh-uhh!-.... nghhh-hh..."

"mhmm..mmmm..." he hummed roughly, following with a soft growl as he slurped you up stupid. you kept moving. why were you moving so much? you were so sleepy just a minute ago.. oh, well; leon thinks. but is this man really oblivious to the fact that he can make you feel so, so good?

of course he wasn't. your erotic whines got louder and louder by the minute as your headphones disabled you from being conscious of your tone at all. your voice fell muffled upon your ears but leon was devouring it, using your moans and sobs as a motive to eat you up until you're heart-eyed. you couldn't even make sense of the music anymore as leon's mouth clouded your empty mind.

i'm gonna drown you in pleasure, baby.. leon thinks to himself while he's busy adoring you and the way your cock twitches onto his tongue :(

you were flailing slightly while leon went down on you, seeing you and your eyes struggling to keep open. he trails his left hand up and down your thigh, the sensation feeling a little ticklish. your chest rose and fell warmly, trying to reach out to stop him with a weak hand but he wouldn't let you and he feels (mildly) sorry. but it doesn't make him halt— he looks at you with sweet eyes that say 'please cum for me~'

you whined weakly at this, voice going raspy as you full on started to cry. you felt so vulnerable and so good at the same time and you trusted leon so much. you could feel it, could feel him about to siphon your orgasm out of you. just the way he wanted it..

the faucet began to spill and you were crying, the tears trickling down your cheeks messily and around your headphones, too. leon looked at you with mostly with affection, but also with a bit of sympathy. you must've had such a hard time, huh? he's so happy he can make you feel better..

"u-uhh, f-fuck, leon!! n-nno- nggh..a-ahh!-" you didn't even know what you were blabbering or retorting for anymore, but your hips twitched in his grip as you began to tremble within the fuzzy feeling of your orgasm. you were being such a pretty boy for him like this, all sensitive and crying after one minor blowjob. how were you going to handle the rest of the night like this?

it was hard to ignore his boner at this point. "mm..mhh, fuck- such a good boy f'me, huh?" he groans while he sucks on you at a slower pace, trying not to overwhelm you too hard (but still overwhelming you :( he's sorry, he swears.). "god, you're so cute.. but you have him so horny and frustrated now, what did you just do to this boy? he isn't frustrated at you.. but..

he isn't letting go of your thighs any time soon.

[justwaitingformygodhood]

i wishing i was born intersex, despite it being wrong to want that

im salmacian, a person wishing to have both genital sets, and ftm/demiboy. to be clear i know that intersex does not mean having both and is a spectrum of different disorders with medical and emotional hardship.

i just wish i was intersex. i feel like if i wasn't medically born male or female i would feel free to express myself more. i feel forced into boxes of male or female, and i know intersex people are too, both with unwanted medical treatment or socially. i know intersex people go through things i could never understand. i was so excited when i was being suspected of having pcos, which some consider intersex, that i just nearly cried. gender hurts in a way i cannot describe. to be able to say "no, im not female or male" would be such a relief.

i know i cannot transition to be intersex and saying im intersex would be a lie but how much different is it from trans people saying they are never going to tell anybody they are trans after bottom surgery? im changing my sex characteristics to no longer be female, i am moving across the spectrum of sex. i know what your going to say, "no, you can't just lie, you must be born intersex." and i won't because it is wrong to do so.

it hurts so much, i just want to get on my knees and beg god for the chance to please be born intersex in my next life. something, anything that will make me not born female or male. to be seen and know myself as not female or male would be a blessing.

i always thought this way, even back when i was younger and was first exposed to porn of a pre-op trans woman, that i mistakenly thought at the time was a intersex person. i was so jealous and in wonder that i researched so much into it, about trans people and intersex people.

i want to move to a blue state just so i can have "x" on my birth records and drivers license. i want to change all my records to "x" and have phallo and keep my vag, then never tell anybody i was ever female, if im asked i want to lie and say im intersex. i know its wrong.

[fakecrfan]

Hey so, weird thought about trans healthcare but stick with me. Right now gender affirming surgeries have an extremely high satisfaction rate. I think as they become more accepted and ubiquitous, the satisfaction rate is going to go down.

No, this isn't me being anti-trans. Hear me out: I think someone who is asked "what is your level of satisfaction with your knee surgery?" and someone who is asked "what is your level of satisfaction with your bottom surgery?" are likely hearing two fundamentally different questions.

The person who has a knee surgery feels no need to defend the right of knee surgeries to be performed. Why? Because knee surgery is a standard, ubiquitous, and socially accepted treatment. So someone being polled about their satisfaction levels after that surgery is going to give their satisfaction level for that particular surgery as opposed to feeling like they need to make a statement on all knee surgeries ever. Was anything botched? Was there a longer recovery time than the patient was told? Did the patient get an infection or other complication? Were the results even after full recovery not up to standard? Did they have to go in for a second surgery after complications with the first one? These are all common scenarios, so a lot of people can be dissatisfied or angry after a surgery that they wanted and still generally approve of.

Now, let's think about a trans person who has a gender affirming surgery. If they are asked "How satisfied are you with the procedure?" there is a serious chance that, due to the political climate, what they will interpret it as is "Do you feel like transitioning was a good choice? Do you feel like this surgery should exist?" Because after all, there is a significant chunk of the population that seriously thinks that trans healthcare should not be performed at all. As a result, I think patients who have these surgeries are motivated to report high satisfaction rates even if they had the same level of complications that a dissatisfied patient of knee surgery had. What does it matter if they got an infection, if they suffered way more pain than they thought, or if their expected recovery time was doubled? They're satisfied with the fact that they got to transition. Perhaps in the light of the possibility that these treatment options may not be available for others in the future, they rate the existence of gender affirming surgeries as a whole as opposed to rating their particular experience with a particular surgery.

Now of course, even if you've read everything I wrote just now, don't go internalizing it into your worldview or anything. Right now this is all speculation. I'd need to read more medical literature and figure out how satisfaction surveys are being conducted to see if this idea holds water, which I may do in the future.

Still, I'm putting this out there right now so if anyone sees a headline that says "TRANS REGRET 10 TIMES HIGHER THAN PREVIOUS SURVEYS SHOWED, ACCORDING TO NEW POLL" some time down the road, they can think about this and do a little digging to see what exactly the surveys are measuring.

[irlpinkiepie]

anyway update on what i've been up to, since it's been a year since i've posted anything at all and much longer than that since i've actually talked about my life in any detail on here:

still in cleveland! left my parents' a few months after i graduated to go live with friends from uni (sidenote, if you are in a position to do so? holy shit, move out from your parents', it is crazy worth it) and now those friends are partners! might be nice to move someplace else sometime if those partners are up for it, maybe somewhere on the northeast corridor? but as it stands i am fucking loving this city even if it does not quite fulfil my childhood expectation of 'hey i have lived in the same country for more than two years, that's kinda weird'

i have a job now! a like, actual full-time job, which is still wild given quite how long i kinda expected that that would be something i would never be able to manage on account of the Autism. turns out though that people will pay you to just look over spreadsheets and write documents for them? would that it were easier to find such a place which paid better and had a better work culture but, such as it is

speaking of partners actually, i am up to uh. five now! it turns out that i have an absurd amount of love in my heart and basically the only reason that number is not greater than five is because of the aforementioned having a full-time job and not really having the time in the day to have more partners than that. so cool to be the weird freaky polyamorous trans girl i always dreamed i would be though

oh yeah! bottom surgery! hopefully that's gonna be soon! i've got an appointment next week to get the last of my insurance letters, and then fingers crossed i can get a follow-up and make it happen sometime next year? have i talked about getting bottom surgery at all on here? well i am not going to go into too much detail on a sfw post but the gist is i found out that there was a way to do bottom surgery that let you have both and was like 'oh my god okay this perfectly captures the way i want my body to look' and immediately called up a surgeon's office to schedule a first appointment

chicken pet. need i say more

writing again! for the first time in a good long while, taking a story i wrote a couple years ago and pulling it out of the shared universe in which it originally resided so that i can do more of the things i wanted to with it. if you're one of the like, two or three people who knows what that story is from that description, i'll put the original back up once i'm finished with the rewrite and have a place to link it to people; i would like to have the chance to tell this story on my own terms, but i absolutely don't want it to be completely lost media

cycling! one of the perks of living in a big city it turns out is that it's actually easy to get to places and so i have been cycling a whole bunch just out of practicality, but it turns out that it's also just really fun to do? absolutely not a sport cyclist by any means, my bike is a $200 cruiser from target, but it's just so so nice to go outside and do things and perform physical activity

in short: i feel like life has been generally pretty darn great! and i am glad to be able to share that here with y'all