#“a dancer dies twice. the first death is when they stop dancing” or whatever

[thawthebeez]

saw a post on twitter abt tobio coming home after practice to an empty house (absent parents, kazuyo gone, miwa busy with studies) and i can't help but think that after a while he stopped announcing it when he returned. no longer would he walk in and call out an "i'm home" he'd just drop his bag by the door and head to his room or the kitchen or wherever. and maybe this routine sticks with him late into his adulthood and he ends up sharing an apartment with shouyou (or anyone, but i'm weak for kghn) and shouyou is left wondering why tobio doesn't announce when he gets home, he just lets the door slam shut and leaves it at that. like there have been a couple times where tobio's scared the shit out of shouyou because the door closed quietly and he didn't hear him walk in. so maybe one day shouyou asks why tobio doesn't say anything and tobio just kinda shrugs it off because he doesn't really remember why himself, but eventually he gets back into the habit of calling out a quick "i'm home" as he sets his bag down and it just becomes another "i'm here" moment for them and suddenly i feel so sick i hate them i hate them i hate them

[wannabe-fic-writer]

Natasha Romanoff x Reader : Prove Me Wrong

Summary: She can trust you, even if she doesn’t know it yet.

Warning: 18+ Mental Health, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Violence, Smut

Chapter 6

******

Laughter sounds in the kitchen, the mix of yours and Carol’s filling the kitchen.

She leans against the counter across from you, sipping from a cup of coffee you’d made for her. And you sit on one of the few stools drinking tea with a new friend, Goose the cat, in your lap.

This morning you’d planned to just get a cup of tea and return to your room to read.

Finding Carol in the kitchen already changed that plan. The two of you started talking and she drew you in with even more exciting tales of space and the Air Force.

Much like the past few days you get wrapped up in how nice Carol is. Sure she’s a little sarcastic, and not so secretly cocky. But that’s definitely swept away by the fact that she’s very funny and friendly.

Goose purrs rhythmically as you pet him and listen to Carol talk about restoring a planet named Easik.

“Not to be nosey or anything but, how does your girlfriend feel about your space travels?” You maintain eye contact as you sip your tea.

Carol chuckles a little,“ she’s not really fond of all the time I spend away and she worries about the dangers out there. But she and her daughter always trust that I’ll get home safely. Plus I make up for it with cool stories and space gifts.”

“Ever the charmer Danvers.” You shake your head.

“Why thank you, I try.” The woman does an exaggerated bow.

Mid laugh, Goose stands up in your lap causing your hand to slide down his soft fur as he looks at the door.

Natasha steps through, clad in athletic wear and sporting a messy ponytail.

Subconsciously you find your gaze passing over the material of her pants that shape her legs and the tank top that shows off her toned arms.

Has she always been this hot or are you only just now noticing?

Thankfully the woman’s words pull you from your thoughts.

“Am I interrupting something?” She asks, walking behind Carol to the coffee pot.

Carol shakes her head,“ just Y/N telling me about her time at NYU.”

You’re quick to tell them,“ which was really just a lot of studying and sleep deprivation.”

“And crazy parties! You saw a guy jump from a roof into a pool of Jell-O. Which makes me wonder if you did too?” She tilts her head inquisitively.

“Of course not,” you finish off tour tea,“ but not because of the jump. I literally cringed at the idea of having Jell-O in places it shouldn’t be.”

The blonde is laughing again and you smile, almost proudly, at having gotten her to.

Natasha looks away so no one can see her roll her eyes.

“Ladies!”

The familiar voice of the one Mister Tony Stark hits your ears before he steps into view. He’s smiling at each of you in greeting and pointing at the cat that definitely wasn’t here the last time he was.

“T! What brings you by, again?” You return his smile sweetly.

“Oh I’m just here to cordially invite you all to mine and Pepper’s anniversary dinner Friday night. Figured getting out would do you some good since your social life is like watching paint dry.” He teases with a fake pout.

Standing from your stool, Goose leaping down from your lap at the same time, you speak to Tony,“ you know, the more time I spend with you the more I understand why Pepper needed to see me.”

Having said that, you leave out. Tony follows you and Goose pauses, looking from where you were to Carol, only to follow after you as well.

With you out of earshot, Carol turns to Natasha with a raised brow.“ I could be wrong here but, am I sensing that you’re interested in Y/N?”

“Of course not.” Natasha shoots the idea down quickly.

Too quickly.

Carol smirks,“ please. You came in here with every bit of jealousy in your tone.” She folds her arms and faces the red head fully,“ which is misplaced. I have a girlfriend.”

Natasha freezes at the information. It’s not a long pause but it’s noticeable enough, making Carol smile proudly.

She knows a crush when she sees one.

“It’s none of my concern who you or Y/N are dating.” She finally says, grip loosening on her cup as she leaves.

For the days that pass Natasha finds herself thinking more and more about what Carol said. 

One thing Natasha knows is how to identify her feelings, but she’d only really encountered these feelings once before. With Bruce.

She felt differently with him than she did with Steve and Tony. The feelings scared her and when she decided to free fall into them, he pushed her away and left for more than two years.

That experience made her familiar with, wanting someone romantically. So when she began to feel that way towards you a mere few days after your second session she fought to push it away. 

She’d be damned if she got hurt again, especially by someone claiming to want to help her. 

And despite not wanting to be hurt, a part of her still wonders about you.

A part that she tries her hardest to ignore. So much so that she doesn’t go to your session the morning of Tony and Pepper’s anniversary.

You couldn’t lie and say you aren’t disappointed to not find her in your office when you got there. And even more disappointed the more time passed without her showing.

You consider going to find her, thinking that something must really be bothering her for her to not show up after all the progress she’d made. But you also considered that she could just be busy and decided that just this once you’d back off.

So, for the time being, you go over the files of the rest of the team, working on possible ways to make breakthroughs and just coping exercises in general. 

Hours pass of this, you stopping only twice to get fresh tea and lunch. Until eventually you’re getting ready for the anniversary dinner. 

After having received directions to the venue from Tony, you get ready to leave. Steve and Bucky offering you a ride and telling you that Natasha, Wanda, and Sam left already.

Light conversation flows between the three of you until you get there. Bucky parking and Steve getting out to open your door for you. 

“Thanks.” You smile, hopping out of the SUV and walking beside them into the building. 

It’s a lot simpler than you expected it to be. As simple as crystal chandeliers and champagne fountains can be.

While looking for Tony and Pepper, your eyes catch Natasha. She’s standing beside Wanda at the bar and looking more beautiful than you’d ever seen. 

Something about the way that blue looks against her skin, the way the fabric of the dress clings to her curvy form, or perhaps the way her green eyes seem to stand out more than usual. 

Has your eyesight changed in the last week? Why are you seeing her in a different light than before? 

Whatever the case is, your watching her, has you tripping over your own feet. 

Literally.

The only reason you don’t eat shit is because Bucky holds his arm out in front of you. 

“Thanks.” You chuckle nervously hoping no one notices the flush of your cheeks, or what caused you to trip.

You gather yourself before heading over to wish the couple a happy anniversary. And of course it doesn’t take Tony long to make some sarcastic comment. In which Pepper shoos him away so the two of you can catch up. 

All the while Morgan stands closely to her mother so you make sure to address her every once and a while, complimenting her dress and asking her about school(the girl is just as smart as her dad, at some point she’ll probably be smarter). 

Soon enough dinner is served, you sitting with the team at one of the tables and listening to them talk. 

It’s not until they open the dance floor that you see Carol. She comes in, effectively grabbing everyone’s attention. 

The woman joins you, her eyes glancing back and forth from all of you to Tony and Pepper dancing. 

“Awe man, I missed the food.” She half jokes, easing into the empty chair between you and Natasha.

You chuckle, shaking your head,“ I’m sure if you ask nicely, and stroke his ego a little, Tony’ll have them bring you something out.”

“Honey we both know I’d never.” 

When you both laugh, Natasha pushes herself up and goes over to the bar, stepping around the person filled dance floor. 

Your laughter dies, smile replaced by a frown. 

Noticing this, Carol stands, offering a hand,“ dance with me?”

“Okay.” 

On the dance floor, Carol’s arm glides across your lower back with ease, her other hand holding yours just level with your chests. You place your free hand on her shoulder.

The soft music that plays tells you that Tony had nothing to do with the selection tonight. Alongside that thought you notice that Carol’s a good dancer, cause she makes your uncoordinated self move easily.

“Is Natasha watching us?” She asks after a few steps.

Frowning, you look at the blonde, who’s eyes don’t meet yours. You let your gaze fall over the room, and find that Natasha is indeed watching you two. Only to look away when she meets your gaze.

“She was. Why?”

The woman’s chest shakes with a laugh,“ I think she likes you.”

That has you looking back over at the green eyed red head. Once again taking in how beautiful she looks.

Natasha likes you?

What had you done to get her to like you? Nothing. So why would she like you?

A frown masks your brows,“ why would you tell me that? Suppose I believed you and it wasn’t true, I’d look like a complete idiot if I did something about it.”

Carol leans back a little at that,“ you like Natasha?”

You flounder, mouth opening and closing stupidly as you think of a reply,“ no. She’s my patient and she tolerates me, at best.”

And she’s notebly the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. She’s godly beautiful in a human way. She’s, demi-godly beautiful? You aren’t sure that’s the right description but it’s what you think fits.

“What makes you think that?”

Breaking from your thoughts, you recall the interactions you had with Natasha in the beginning of your stay, or the lack there of. Followed by her barely even looking at you your first session.

At this point you and Carol have danced into a second song. You sigh and drop your head on to her shoulder.

“How often do you see me and Natasha talk? Like barely. The most we communicate is in my office where I am nothing but professional because if I’m not then I’d look like some bumbling idiot and that wouldn’t be helping her.”

Carol sighs,“ it’s not my place to say but, if you do have feelings for her, I think it would benefit you to tell her.”

You look up again, brown eyes staring back,“ did you miss the barely tolerates me part?”

“I find that hard to believe. You’re a very likeable person Y/N. Maybe it’s just her thoughts that are keeping her so distant.” She suggests.

The song comes to an end and you step away from her with a shake of your head,“ not to call you delusional, but I think you’ve seen things that aren’t there. I’m simply her therapist.”

As you turn to walk away Carol struggles to find something to say but she can’t. And your crestfallen face is heartbreaking.

That expression on your face completely debunks your claims at not liking the woman and Carol knows you only said it to convince yourself.

******

taglist: @username23345 @muffliat-o  @aaron-despair @natasha-danvers​ @wildhoney32 @criminallyhamilton @fayhar @nat-km-mh

[violetwolfraven]

Crossover Headcanons

((I know I have requests in my inbox but I just had to get this out of my head. Also I probably won’t be posting those requests for a while because my writer’s block is only barely starting to lift, so...))

Anyway this is gonna start off from one perspective and go to more later. Enjoy. 💜

Tw: past death, nightmares

...

So this is a... spin-off? Of the reincarnation au? An alternate timeline? A variant? Whatever it is the newsies are reincarnated and remember their past.

Also somehow most of them are going to the same college here, (I’m not going to say which one because I don’t want to research colleges right now) even if they’ve got a wide range of majors.

There’s only one dorm building even if people are only allowed to share a room with someone of the same gender.

This works out well for Elmer, because he’s pretty happy to be rooming with his boyfriend, Buttons.

But then he gets up to the floor their dorm is on and almost drops the box he’s holding.

Because it’s fuckin her. His national-level math nemesis since 11th grade. They’ve only faced off twice, the first time with her team winning and the second with his winning, but they’re each the only one who can beat the other in a math competition.

Elmer can see the shock in her eyes as she recognizes him and shouts YOU and then she’s stomping over to him aggressively enough that he’s pretty sure she wants to throw down physically.

Jack (who’s also on that floor with Davey) figures that too, and steps in front of him before she gets too close, but that girl acts like she doesn’t even notice him and shouts I WAS HALF A SECOND BEHIND YOU SOLVING THAT PROBLEM!

Elmer is kinda terrified but he defensively shoots back well I still solved it first and moves around Jack because this is his math nemesis and his fight.

The girl scowls at him for a couple more seconds then just sticks out her hand to shake, and Elmer realizes that he doesn’t actually know her name beyond the surname he’s seen on the back of her mathletes jacket. She introduces herself as Cady Heron.

Elmer Kazprzak, he responds, and Cady looks like she’s trying not to laugh, but he figures that’s probably fair, with how ‘Elmer’ was a common name in 1885 but not so much in 2003.

Jack clears his throat so Elmer introduces him but forgets that this isn’t their high school so things like oh this is Jack. He’s basically my dad. are weird.

Cady definitely thinks it’s weird but she doesn’t question it. Instead she just asks where Elmer is living, and it turns out, of course, he and Buttons are right next door to her and her roommate, Karen.

(I say Cady is living with Karen because Gretchen wanted to live with Regina and rules be damned Janis is with Damien.)

Elmer isn’t completely sure he’s not going to get murdered in his sleep but he guesses if he could handle the 1899 Newsboy Strike and World War I he can handle Cady Heron.

Meanwhile Katherine is going to Harvard so Sarah is rooming with someone she’s never met and she’s a little nervous.

And in stomps a girl who declares I’m a lesbian and if you have a problem with that tell me now so I can switch dorms.

And Sarah responds with my girlfriend out at Harvard would be pretty pissed at me if I did have a problem with that.

The girl lets her guard down, explains that she comes from a small town, and says her name is Alyssa Greene.

After that little bump, they get along good. Alyssa explains that her girlfriend, Emma, registered late and couldn’t get a dorm with who she wanted.

And Sarah’s just kinda like wait Emma as in Unruly Hearts Emma? Alyssa’s just like yeah!! I’m so proud of her!!

Sarah brags a bit about how Katherine is studying to be a journalist with a specialty in queer stories and long story short they become besties and eventually Alyssa introduces Emma for real and Sarah introduces Smalls and Sniper.

Emma and Alyssa are a bit thrown by the whole nickname thing but hey whatever now they have a Lesbian Club!

They do meet up with the boys occasionally but the Lesbian Club meets on a video call with Katherine every Saturday.

Anyway Jack meets Janis in art class and initially they kinda think each other is weird because their styles are very different but then they get in an actual conversation and get along amazingly.

Jack is definitely a fan of Janis’s philosophy of when someone hurts your friends you attack and grind your foe into the ground.

Janis tells her new bestie about Cady and Damien (and Regina, Gretchen, and Karen, though she still keeps Cady and Damien closer than the former Plastics) and she’s honestly shocked by the amount of friends Jack tells her about.

She does recognize some names, though. Romeo and Damien are both theatre majors and they’ve become friends.

But anyway Jack and Janis are like. Super good friends. Art buddies. Mlm/wlw solidarity. Protective friend pals.

Janis is pretty surprised when she introduces him to Cady and they’ve already met, and apparently oh fuck your math nemesis is Jack’s Elmer???

Jack’s just going oh fuck Elmer’s math nemesis Cady is Janis’s Cady???

Also Regina met Spot and Sarah at the gym and now they meet up with a few other people every other week to throw down like their own personal fight club.

At first Regina was just angrily trying to fight with no technique, but don’t worry, Spot and Sarah teach her.

There weren’t a ton of out gays at Northshore High, so yeah the Mean Girls crew definitely gets along with the Newsies crew out of solidarity.

Janis and at least one of the Plastics but I can’t choose which one(s) join the Lesbian Club.

Meanwhile Race is super hyped to meet Emma cause like I choreographed a dance to your song wanna see???

Emma is flattered but kinda weirded out and she mentions her friend Angie who’s a dancer too and Race is just *error 404*

Cause of course he saw the news story and knows Emma knows these 4 big Broadway stars but it just. Hasn’t connected until this moment that she like has their numbers.

He tries not to freak out too much cause he knows that’s weird but Emma eventually goes do you wanna meet her? And Race goes do I wanna meet her? She’s only my IDOL!! she’s been dancing like 20 years and she’s still got it!!

Emma calls Angie partially because she likes her new dancer friend and wants to make him happy and partially because she wants to prove to Angie that people do appreciate her zazz and despite how she was just a chorus girl until a few months ago this random boy from New York has been a fan since he was 12.

Angie can’t exactly fly over at the drop of a hat but she watches some videos on YouTube of Race dancing and like holy hell this kid is good. And his friends are too but this kid right here has zazz off the charts.

When she finds out he’s an orphan she’s lowkey can I adopt him??? but then she finds out he already has an adoptive mother and it’s Medda Larkin.

Medda Larkin who did more than a few shows with Angie when they were young but left Broadway to open her own theatre.

They fell out of touch years ago but still follow each other on Instagram and stuff.

But Angie shows Barry and Dee Dee and she’s super excited like remember Medda Larkin??? THIS IS HER ADOPTIVE KID AND HE’S AMAZING

And they watch YouTube clips of Emma’s new friends in high school shows and like wtf these kids are fuckin talented why aren’t they on Broadway???

They almost tell Emma to tell her friends to drop out of college and come straight (haha not that straight) to Broadway but Trent is like wtf no education is important.

Whatever the actors aren’t that relevant.

Sarah has a nightmare about her death one night. And with the others it’s not as big of a deal because they’re all rooming with each other, but Sarah’s roommate isn’t one of them.

She thinks Alyssa is asleep so she calls Katherine crying about how scared she was, how guilty she felt to be leaving her brothers and friends and Kath without a goodbye.

And Alyssa isn’t quite awake, but she’s awake enough that she hears Sarah whisper about how everything is just so stupid complicated. I shouldn’t be afraid of dying when I’ve done it before—when we’ve all died horribly—but I still am, Kitty. I can’t stop being afraid.

Alyssa is out of it enough that she falls back asleep, but when she wakes up she knows what she heard. That her roommate thinks she had a past life and died and implied that all her friends did.

Emma notices she’s acting weird and when she asks what’s wrong she tells her.

They both know it sounds crazy, but...

Emma tentatively points out some weird things about their friends from New York.

She’s study buddies with Race and occasionally he points something out she got wrong on her history homework. Something so small and inconsequential that it would’ve been almost impossible for him to know unless he was there and remembered from experience.

Smalls and Sniper have a habit of jumping apart if they were so much as holding hands and someone walks in on them, even though they come from a mostly accepting city with an accepting friend group.

That whole group straight up skipped history class the whole week they were learning about World War I and refused to make up the work.

They bring the half-baked theory to Janis who immediately remembers all the times she’s seen Jack draw small war-torn towns in France and dirty city streets and an outdated skyline as if seen from a rooftop, all of them too detailed to be anything but directly copied from something Jack has seen before.

But the question is if they’re drawn from a reference photo or a memory.

Cady realizes, upon hearing the theory, that Elmer and Buttons never take her up on offers to come to football games because they don’t like the noise.

More specifically, she remembers the look on her nemesis/frenemy’s face when he said he didn’t like fireworks.

Aaron notices that Davey always solves math problems by hand. He never uses a calculator unless someone reminds him it’s an option. And half the time, he defaults to using his right hand with terrible handwriting even though he’s left handed. Almost like he was raised with the whole ‘left hand devil’ thing, which doesn’t make sense because he went to a public school; not a religious one.

Damien realizes that Romeo has a habit of correcting the costume department, like he knows the period clothing for Hello, Dolly! better than they do. It annoys the hell out of them because upon some research, he is always right.

Regina notes how Spot and Sarah fight like they’re fighting for their lives in a street brawl. She knows that because she started taking karate in an attempt to win fights. She noticed months ago that her friends use technique that’s barely sustainable, like they’re just trying to stay alive until they can run or backup comes.

However all this is just fun and games, a crack theory they’re all mildly creeped out by but don’t really believe, until Gretchen finds it.

An article on the Newsboy Strike of 1899.

There’s a copy of the Newsies Banner, written by Katherine Plumber, which references strike leaders Jack Kelly and David Jacobs.

But they could write that off as just a creepy coincidence if not for the photo.

It’s the one Katherine and Darcy took that first day, which is in black and white and not the greatest quality, but clearly shows a lot of familiar faces.

A later story by this Katherine Plumber documents lives of street kids with interviews from kids with the same odd nicknames as the group they know.

Regina was the most cynical about this theory and even she can’t deny it now. There’s just too much evidence.

Especially when Karen finds Crutchie’s obituary, but Regina stops her from showing it to anyone else because that’s just too creepy.

The Mean Girls crew and Alyssa and Emma are... unsure if they should confront their friends about this, because a) this is freaky and b) the newsie gang is clearly still harboring trauma due to their deaths.

Plus, as Damien points out, being gay was illegal in 1899. Do you think they want a reminder of how they had to hide their feelings for each other back then?

Emma and Alyssa share a knowing look because they know what that’s like.

In the end Karen lets it slip when she asks Davey a question about her history homework involving World War II, mistakenly believing he was there.

Davey naturally questions her about it and she spills the entire story about how Alyssa heard Sarah’s phone call and they figured everything else out from there. She even shows him the article with the 1899 photo and the Newsies Banner.

And... shit, there’s a lot of memories behind that picture. And that’s them, over a hundred years ago, when they were kids and they weren’t all the same age like this time around.

The old Davey looks so big compared to Romeo and Elmer and god was Specs tall for a 15-year-old.

Davey didn’t even meet Smalls and Sniper in this lifetime until they were 16, but in that picture they’re only 13 and they’re so small.

A sidenote on Katherine has a picture of her in a hairstyle he hasn’t seen her in since 1917.

It’s a mixture between ptsd and nostalgia and Davey can’t decide whether to freak out or be happy.

He takes the article to Jack and tells him about how Gretchen found it and their non-reincarnated friends know.

Jack’s silently cursing the fact that he really should have been more careful with what he drew around Janis, but it’s kinda a relief that they know, honestly.

He shoots a quick text to the group chat and then turns his phone on do not disturb mode while he sits Janis down for a little chat.

He doesn’t go into graphic detail, but he does tell her an abridged version of everything. How they were basically a family and all lgbt+ in the early 20th century and how they died before their time and got a second chance.

It’s more than a little freaky for Janis, but it does explain a lot.

Such as how Jack demonstrates on a dare that he can still do some parkour because once upon a time, he used it to run from the cops.

Elmer tells Cady he’s so quick at math because he used to have to calculate change quickly and later had to help Jack and Davey come up with battle plans based on numbers vs tactics and terrain.

Regina definitely trusts Spot’s combat advice a lot more now because he was essentially a gang leader as a teenager and it has literally saved his life.

Race admits to Emma that her song made him cry because... in this lifetime he might not have had to be closeted, but in his last he was constantly worried about getting arrested or worse if people found out not just about him and his boyfriend, but his friends. His family.

Emma may or may not collaborate with him after that to write a song about how much it hurts to be closeted for your own safety and how much better it feels to be free to be who you are. Race dances in the music video and many of the other newsies make appearances but it’s mainly him and Emma. Spot and Alyssa cry when they see it. Damien does, too.

Who am I kidding everyone cries.

They get like 4 million hits on YouTube and it’s amazing.

The title is probably In the Light or something.

Also Cady, Aaron, Kevin, and Elmer form their own college level mathletes team and no one can beat them.

(Kevin’s not as close with the main group literally only because I don’t know that much about him as a character.)

(Also Stacy, Kailey, and whatever their boyfriends’ names are might be there somewhere but I don’t know them either.)

Katherine does get to meet the new kids in person eventually. And also I didn’t mention this earlier but Specs goes to Harvard too and he comes to visit too.

The power when the Lesbian Club finally gets to meet all in person? Unparalleled.

:)

[michekov]

Buckle up folks, some feelings are coming.

So I just took over a pole dance studio and with that came a lot of stress and pressure (put on me mostly by myself). I've been listening to a lot of music lately, and gathering inspiration for more choreo and combos. The orchestral version of Black Swan hit me particularly hard - the quote by Martha Graham from the beginning of the art film always makes cry: “A dancer dies twice — once when they stop dancing, and this first death is the more painful.”

Every time I think about it - one day not being able to dance or sing anymore - my whole being just fills with dread and sadness. Pole dance had partially replaced many other forms of artistic expression I've used over the years. But music in one way or another, has always been a part of me. I can't even imagine losing it.

I've put a lot more pressure on myself; to become better, stronger, more graceful, more expressive. All that to be a better instructor and a better artist. I had many talks with my therapist about my insane need for beauty in all that I do, and how I am never satisfied with the final product. Be it my body, my skills, or my performances. I know I have a long, long way to go. I know I'm not a particularly great dancer. But I try so damn hard. I get off the pole panting, sweaty, crying and swearing because I can't do what I had pictured in my head. My whole body aches and it's always covered in bruises, my hands are calloused and hurting.

And I absolutely love it.

If anyone read whatever this emotional vomit was, thanks. I needed to get some things off my chest.

[lapinbunwrites]

Distortion

Rating: Teen and up

Warnings: Major Character Death

Fandom: Fire Emblem Awakening

Characters: Chrom, Lissa, Robin, Virion, Sumia, Lon’qu, Lucina, Cynthia, Owain, Morgan, Nah, Gerome, Laurent, Inigo, Brady, Yarne

Words: 3,964

Ao3 Link

The air was filled with sparks of fire and ash. The land desolate with the shops, buildings, plains, hills, everything burned down to the ground. There wasn't many people left in this world, this timeline. Lucina, with all her power, did everything in her power to stop Grima, but nothing worked. She nearly died a few times trying, facing the dragon head on, only to have Gerome, Laurent, or Severa to come save her. She wanted to save her land, her world, her timeline, and everyone with it. If she were to perish, all would be lost. Lucina had become desperate to save her timeline; she was given one last option, to travel through time before everything was destroyed.

Lucina walked around, asking for all who wanted to come. Everyone said no, at first. After a long thought, everyone decided it was a good idea that they should take the chance and travel back in time. Mostly everyone was back at the castle, aside from a select few. Morgan, Nah, and Gerome. They were still fighting near South Town. They were retreating, but Wyvern Riders circled around them, trapping them. They fought and fought, tiring themselves out. Morgan had one last move that he used. He used a very powerful fire magic attack, killing all of their enemies, all but one. He was left open and was struck down with a swing of an ax.

As he fell to the ground, Nah rushed to rescue him, and Gerome rushed in to kill the last remaining Wyvern Rider. Nah transformed back into her human form, looking for the injury, but by the time she found it, he breathed his last. Gerome caught up with the two. He saw that Nah was hysterically crying. She had lost the person she loved the most. Gerome's lips started to quiver. He slowly, and discretely, started to push down his tears. He had been through so much, he knew this was a war, he knew he was going to lose people he cared about, but it still didn't matter. Even though he was was great at not showing his emotions, he took off his mask, wiping off the tears. He hid his face again, not wanting to show Nah his emotions.

Gerome placed her hand on Nah's shoulder to signal that they have to leave right away. There was no time left to mourn. She argued with him as much as she could, but in the end, he won the fight. He took Morgan's dead body and placed it on Minvera. He sat atop Minerva, giving a sullen look towards her. She looked at him with sorrow-filled eyes before transforming into a Manakete. The two traveled back to the castle, letting Morgan's body lay on the ground in the throne room. Everyone looked in shock and horror. Some of the children cried while the others hid their tears in their hearts. As much as they wanted to cry, the couldn't. Lucina instructed them to gather some wood and pile it the courtyard. Gerome carried his body, placing it on the wood.

Owain grabbed Morgan's mother's old strategy book and Levin Sword; he placed it in Morgan's hand curled his fingers around the book and weapon to look like he was holding onto them. Everyone stepped away from Morgan's body and the woodpile as Laurant set them on fire. They watched as Morgan's ashes filled the air. They watched his ashes fly away as the wind carried them away. Lucina held the Falchion close to her face. Her tears fell onto the sword as finally started to break down. She couldn't take it anymore; how was she going to be able to fight another war in a different timeline if she couldn't deal with it anymore? She didn't have much of a choice.

It wasn't long before they stood in front of the portal Naga had created for them. She had warned them she wasn't entirely sure what would happen after the war in the past. She didn't know what would happen to this timeline. Lucina took a deep breath and releasing it. She counted to three before her, and everyone jumping into the portal. The bright lights and flashes appeared before them. As they kept running, the floor beneath them started to dissolve beneath them. First, it was Brady, then Yarne, then Inigo, then one after another. Lucina looked behind her, she was all alone. She held back her tears and pressed on.

Lucina saw her father and aunt fight a Risen as she ran through the portal. She jumped out, stopping the monster before it killed her. She called for help before she and her father took down the Risen. As the two were distracted, she quickly left. She stood close by and watched as her family fought the battle, and what happened afterward. She could believe how happy her family, and their friends, were. Everything here was different, but the air felt the same. The one difference she could feel is the heavyweight of the world wasn't crashing down, not just yet anyway.

She took off her mask, covering her face with her hand, and started to cry. She hadn't seen her father, let alone his smile, in so long. It was too much for her to bear. She traveled across the country, trying to find her sister and her friends. No luck. She didn't find any of her friends until after she joined up with her father and the army. The first person that came was Nah, then after she came, Laurent, Kjelle, Severa, Noire, Yarne, Inigo, Owain, Cynthia, Gerome, and lastly Brady, joined the army. Everyone was finally here. The army headed out to some ruins; it was filled with Risen. Lucina looked into the distance; she couldn't believe what she was seeing. It was Morgan. How could he still be alive? He died before they had arrived here.

"Hey guys," Morgan said, approaching the twelve children. He gave a happy-go-lucky smile at them. "How are all of you?"

It was silent; no one let out a single word. Morgan felt the tension in all of them, but he just ignored it. After they all settled in, Morgan went around, trying to talk to some of them. They could barely say a word to him. With each friend he talked to, his heart became heavier and heavier. He went to his parents and cried to them that his friends wouldn't talk to him. Even his longtime friends, Lucina, Cynthia, and Owain couldn't say anything to him. He remembered Lucina crying, Owain completely avoiding him, and Cynthia breaking done when he would say anything about their past.

"Don't cry sweet child of mine!" Virion said. "It's going to be all right! All you need to do is make a statement and people will start talking to you again!"

"B-B-But what if it doesn't work," Morgan cried.

"It's going to be okay Morgan," Robin reassured him. "They are all tense from the war."

"M-Mother, I-I d-don't think it's that," he cried some more.

"Than what is it?"

"I don't know."

Robin sighed and held her son close to her. Virion joined in the hug. They did their best to calm their son. Every chance Morgan got, and taking his father's advice, he tried to make a statement in hopes of his friends talking to him. He has tried dancing, collecting firewood, doing whatever the Justice Cabal used to do, anything. None of it worked. Every last of his friends were avoiding him, especially Nah and Gerome. The two people who witnessed his death. During one battle, he saw that Nah had injured herself. He walked up to her with a healing potion.

He grabbed onto her sleeve. "Hey Nah," he said, "please use this medicine. It's the one you made for me ages ago. Remember?"

Nah turned around and started to cry. "You aren't the real Morgan!" She snapped.

"What...What do you mean? Of course, I'm the real Morgan! I remember we baked croissants together when were younger. Remember the flour fight that we had?" Morgan felt his heart sinking in his chest. Tears start to swell up. "We made this medicine a few days before we jumped through the portal. Don't you remember, Nah?"

"That never happened! You aren't Morgan!" She yelled. "You're dead, you're a ghost! I think I'm going mad!"

Tears started to trail down Morgan's face; his heart completely broken. "N-Nah?"

"Yarne! Yarne!" Nah screamed.

In the far distance, Yarne was being scolded by Laurent for not wanting to fight. His ears started to perk up. He could hear screaming. He could hear Nah screaming. He abruptly left, searching for her. He could hear Laurent yelling him to come back. He would rather get scolded twice then let a friend in pain be hurt. As he arrived, Morgan and Nah were crying. He held Nah close to him as she cried. He gritted his teeth when he looked over to Morgan. He became scared. He rushed into the woods, crying, screaming that no one would talk to him. Inigo watched as Morgan ran past him. He sighed in relief when he wasn't paying attention to his dancing. Inigo started up a dance but became tense when he realized his friend was crying.

He rushed after him, finding him near a lake. Inigo reluctantly walked up to him, placing his hand on his shoulder. Morgan looked at the dance with tears still rolling down his face. The dancer bottled his own pain and put on a smile. He could tell that it wasn't helping much. He sighed as he walked into the lake. He prepared himself for what was about to happen. Inigo started to dance in the lake. He was splashing water everywhere. He kept a close eye on Morgan; his expression wasn't changing. After a few more steps, Inigo accidentally tripped over his own feet, falling into the lake, and getting wet from the water. He smiled as the dancer heard his friend softly chuckle. Inigo got up and sat right next to him.

"Feeling better," Inigo asked.

"A little," Morgan replied.

It became silent again. It was like that for a while.

"Why doesn't anyone want to talk to me?" Morgan spoke.

Inigo gritted his teeth. He didn't know how to tell him the truth. He couldn't tell him the truth.

"Nah kept telling me I'm not the real Morgan! But I am! I remember all the things we have done together!"

"Like what?" Inigo asked, letting out a big sigh. He knew he shouldn't have asked that question.

"I remember playing in the courtyard with Lucina, Cynthia, and Owain, I remember you trying to teach me to dance, I remember Gerome teaching me how to wield an ax and to make medicine, a whole lot of things."

Inigo doesn't remember trying to teach him to dance. He was already too shy to show anyone that he could dance, but his own memory could be a little fuzzy at this point. He tried to remember one day that they all spent together.

"Do you remember a few days before we jumped into the portal leading back in time? Where we all found a beach that hadn't been destroyed. We all found it surprising that it hadn't."

Morgan couldn't recall that day.

"Gerome, Lucina, and Laurent watching out for everyone who decided to play. They are always on high alert. Cynthia was bugging Severa to go swimming with her, but she wouldn't because Severa did not want to get her clothes wet. In the end, the two had a competition of some sort," Inigo explained more. "You, Nah and Yarne were building sand castles, Owain and Brady were off doing something I can't remember. I just remember that Kjelle was scolding the two for something. I was trying to convince Lucina, Gerome, and Laurent to come have fun." Inigo smiled softly. He loved and cherished that day.

"I bet the three of them had the most fun."

"They did. Do you remember when Gerome, whom we all thought wasn't a romantic, promising his heart to Lucina after the war?" Inigo asked, looking at him.

Morgan shook his head.

Inigo sighed and his heart sank. He knew it was true, especially now that Morgan couldn't recall that day. His friend was truly dead.

"Is everything alright?" Morgan asked.

"No," Inigo replied. He let his tears finally seep out of his eyes. "No. I'm sorry."

Morgan consoled his friend the best he could. He knew something was wrong; it was him. He would constantly try to talk to them, but nothing worked. Every time he would try to play Justice Cabal with Cynthia and Owain, Cynthia would break down and cry. Her crying would get worse if he asked about flower fortunes. And Owain, he would do everything he possibly could to avoid him. It hurt him greatly. Every adult, his parents included, didn't know why any of his friends wouldn't talk to him very much. Chrom, Sumia, Robin, Virion, Lissa, Lon'qu, Lucina, Cynthia, and Owain were sitting in the council tent in the army base. Morgan walked up to the tent and listened into the conversation.

"Why can't any of you guys talk to my precious, sweet boy?" Virion asked.

"It's not nice!" Lissa said.

"It's not only you three, but it's every child here. Why is that?" Lon'qu asked.

"You don't understand," Lucina said.

"We are trying to sweetie," Sumia said. "Please tell us."

"Please, my son doesn't feel like he belongs here," Robin said.

"It's because he doesn't!" Owain blurted out. He suddenly realized what he said. He started to feel a pit in his stomach. He instantly regretted his words. "I...I didn't mean to say that."

Robin, Virion, and Morgan felt their hearts sink. Morgan ran away crying before he heard the rest of the story. Virion became distraught; how could anyone say such a thing about his child. Robin became angered by his words.

"Owain!" Lissa, Lon'qu, and Chrom yelled out his name.

Lucina looked at him like he was an idiot. Sumia took a look at her other daughter, Cynthia, who was fidgeting with her hands.

"Cynthia, sweetheart?" Sumia asked.

She was trying to silence everyone in her mind. She tried to silence Robin yelling about how inconsiderate Owain was being, Lissa yelling about his manners, her sister trying to calm her cousin, Chrom and Lon'qu trying to defuse the situation, everything. It was coming close to the point where Cynthia couldn't take it anymore. Her mother walked over to her, wanting to figure out what was going on with her.

"Cynthia," Sumia called out.

"It's because Morgan is dead!" She broke down. She began crying hysterically. It scared Sumia and everyone else. "It's because he's dead!" She cried some more.

Everyone turned to Lucina, the only one who wasn't crying.

"Lucina," Chrom said.

"In our timeline, Morgan died. Gerome had told me that he was left open during a fight and a Wyvern Rider had slain him," Lucina explained.

"We collected firewood and placed in the pile! Gerome placed his body on the pile of wood while I got Robin's old strategy book and Levin Sword and placed it in his hands!" Owain cried.

"We burned his body and watched his ashes float in the wind!" Cynthia cried hysterically.

The parents looked at each other with concern. Robin felt her heart sink. She couldn't believe that her son had died fighting a battle that they couldn't win. It must have been hard on them dealing with his death and coming to this time only to see him alive again. It must have been painful.

"He doesn't know anything about it," Lucina said.

"We all can tell," Robin said.

"None of us want to get attached to him knowing that when we arrive back in our own time that he is not there."

"That doesn't mean you can act rude to him."

"I...I know. I am sorry."

When Morgan stopped crying, he walked around camp to see his other 'friends.' He hid behind a tree and watched Nah. She and Yarne were talking to each other and having a good time. Yarne felt a bad presence near him and became defensive. He let out a little growl and Nah held her dragon stone close to her body. Morgan ran away from them. He found himself in town. He placed his hood up and walked around. Everyone here was friendly to him; it was a nice change of pace from dealing with everyone else. He softly smiled and walked around, buying a few items that piqued his interest.

Morgan ran into Severa and his smile faded. He held his stuff close to his body. He didn't know what she was going to do. All she did was looked down on him with an icy stare and scoffed at him before walking away. She was pushing him away the only way she could, scolding him and looking him down on him. He scurried out of the town and into the woods to read his books. He heard Kjelle training. Anytime he tried to talk to her, she avoids him by saying that she had some training to do. They would never talk. As he was reading, he could hear Inigo singing.

Morgan followed his voice and watched him dance. When he was done dancing, he started to clap for him. It threw him off his balance and he fell into the lake. Morgan laughed as heard Inigo told him not to. He held out his hand towards the dancer, but he pulled him into the water. The two started to laugh. Even though Inigo was still wary of Morgan, but he was still willing to try to make him happy. The two got up and Inigo started to teach Morgan how to dance until the night ended. Morgan only wished this could be every day.

Even though the war was dragging on, things got better for Morgan. Lucina remembered her discussion with her family and started to talk to him more. It was slow, but it was getting somewhere. Lucina would talk to him about books and try to have at least a short conversation. It ended up being a lot longer than anticipated. Inigo would still talk to him and taught him how to dance. Cynthia and Owain still wouldn't talk to him, but at least they acknowledged him existing. Nah and Yarne wouldn't. It hurt him, but at least a few people were starting to talk to him.

Sometimes he would talk to some friends that he hardly talked to, like Laurent and Gerome. Though, it didn't work. Laurent couldn't bear to talk to him knowing that he was the one that set him on fire. Gerome couldn't even look him in the eye. He saw the tactician's son die in front of him and he couldn't let out a single tear when he died. What kind of friend was he? He didn't even try with Severa or Kjelle. Neither one of them wanted to be around him. He was very scared of Noire, so she was out. The last person was Brady. The two would talk and they enjoyed their time together.

Brady would teach him how to heal minor injuries and in turn, Morgan would teach him easy battle tactics. Even though the healer knew that Morgan was long gone in his time, and he would never admit that he was to him, it was nice to see his spritely, cheery self again. Brady softly smiled whenever he saw the tactician-in-training talked to him about battle tactics. His face always lit up. The healer regretted never talking to him to the depths of Hell. If he couldn't be friends with him before his death, he could at least be friends now.

"See?" Morgan said.

"Yer out yer damn mind!" Brady said. "Yer going to lose half 'em!"

"Actually no. If you do this," he said as he shifted some of the pieces around the board, "you will save much more people!"

Brady was at a loss.

"See?"

"I guess."

Morgan started to chuckle.

Brady softly smiled. "Ya know what, let's go again. I'm goin' to beat ye this time!"

"Not going to happen!"

The two played for hours on end. It wasn't until Maribelle that told him to stop playing and go to sleep. The two set up another day where Brady could attempt to beat Morgan at the stupid game. Neither of the two realized that was going to be the last day that they would interact with each other.

The war was finally coming to a close and they had reached the battle before Grima. Nah, Gerome and Morgan were surrounded by Wyvern Riders once more. They fended off as much as they could. Morgan came up with a strategy that would allow them to press forward. He set off a big firey explosion, much like the one the other Morgan had done and left himself open. A Wyvern Rider cut him, injuring him badly, but not enough to kill him; he slowly fell to the ground. Gerome was able to catch in time before he hit the ground. He held the tactician-in-training close to him as he safely landed; Morgan could feel him tremble.

Lucina ran up to the two, concerned for Morgan's well being. "Morgan! Are you all right?"

"I-I'll be fine," he replied, coving the wound on his side.

Lucina was able to spot it. "Gerome take him to the infirmary. He is in no condition to fight. When you are done, meet up with us."

Gerome grunted and did as instructed. It wasn't long after that fight that everyone went to fight Grima. It was a long, grueling battle; most of the people that fought didn't survive. In the end, Lucina knew it was a sacrifice that she had to take to make her timeline better. In the end, all of the children did a few things before leaving this world. Naga opened a portal for them to go back to their timeline. Lucina took one deep breath in and exhaled before everyone jumped into the portal. Morgan was the last one to jump in.

As he was running, everyone was starting to disappear. He was all alone again. He kept on running until he was able to reach his own timeline. He could see everyone, Lucina, Cynthia, Owain, Gerome, Brady, Inigo, everyone. Morgan was greeted with a warm, caring smile when he arrived. They had been waiting days on end for him to arrive. Everyone huddled around him and gave him one big group hug.

"Welcome home," they said to him.

"You guys had me worried there!" Morgan said.

"You had us worried!" Lucina said. "You didn't come home right away!"

"Sorry!"

"It's all right. You are home now."

It wasn't long until the Lucina others had finally reached their home. It was saved, sort of. They still had no parents and the land was still barren. They couldn't really tell if they actually saved it or not. They all looked at each other, looking to see who didn't make it. Everyone was there, everyone but Morgan. He truly wasn't from their timeline. Lucina took a sword that was given to her by the other Morgan. She, along with the others, walked to a cliff and planted the sword into the ground.

"It's over now Morgan. Be at peace while you sleep for the rest of eternity. Grima will no longer plague this land," Lucina said.

As she walked away, the wind picked up; the wind picked up the ashes and carried them passed Morgan's sword.

------------------------------------------------------------

Ahhhh, this took me so long to write. @trcelyneart gave me an angsty idea to write. She was telling me that Awakening was hinting at Morgan not being from the same timeline Lucina and everyone else was and I instantly wanted to write it. I hope it's not a mess or bad. I know a lot of the wording and how I write is bad, but I hope I was able to make it angsty.

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Suspiria remake review from a shitty movie-goer

(this review is posted too late so excuse me for some timing inaccuracies I couldn’t be arsed to edit)

(IF YOU HATE TL;DRS JUST SKIP AHEAD TO THE “THE REVIEW” PART. YOU’RE WELCOME)

I actually hate to admit why was I interested to watch this movie in the end, but for once SOMETHING motivated me to go to a movie after countless tries from my family to get me to watch something in theatres at a “reasonable time” (daytime is what they mean, this movie was at 8pm our time, and this is when the cross-city bus transport (it goes from one big city to another) stops doing their service lmao).

I myself have a lowkey interest in moviemaking (I’m already getting there by editing my phone-recorded videos because whatever). I come up with my concepts in my head and I am mostly willing to put them down somewhere in my computer so I don’t forget it years later if I want to make that concept a thing in the end (because none of my concepts are finalized... well except for one short horror-ish story I posted on DeviantArt (see mom, I do like some horror stuff!). Reddit as of lately inspired me to edit some of my movie’s plot-lines based on irl events (not related with anything too SJW), and I’m not sure how an usual movie-goer would see this concept but I am going to try to execute it... whenever I have enough equipment to shoot my own little films or skits or whatever.

What’s that? There are people who scrolled past this and already yell at me that “YOU ONLY WENT TO SEE THIS MOVIE BECAUSE OF THE MAN WHO COMPOSED THE SOUNDTRACK~~~”? Ugh yes you exposed me, tea all over. I even had “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” on a bit of a repeat as of lately (how fucking come I wasn’t too couragerous to listen to this song before?? And “Pyramid Song”??? Man am I discovering their pearl(ie)s(*) too late). And I’m occasionally on the band’s subreddit as well. And the man himself is touring ‘round the USA, signing material of fans and have genuinely warm chats with them. Admireable.

But that’s only half truth.

I never thought I’d see Suspiria on cinema theatres in here. Until one time when I saw an ad on a completely random Lithuanian website that said this movie is coming to our theatres 14 December... I couldn’t quite believe my eyes. I made my goal to see Suspiria since then. I even dared to ask a couple of my new college ‘friends’ to see it with me, but one of them fell off the deal when I revealed that I’ll be going to see it on Saturday, and on the weekends he’s usually at home, far away from the city the college is in (he lives in college dormitory on mostly the work-weekdays). So my only movie companion ended up to be this 28-year-old coursemate (actually we both study different things but sometimes we attend some of the same lectures) who was intrigued by the Suspiria trailer herself so at least I’m gonna have her by my side of the movie, so I thought. Sweet.

I already envisioned seeing this in a mall cinema theatre but my companion offered me a cheaper alternative - her suggested cinema theatre was actually in renovation so the business is temporarily happening inside an actual drama theatre’s long theatre hall. I had to wait long until the ticket box opened and because of that I was lowkey frustrated as I finished my English test writing a little earlier, so I spent my time walking around the city until the time came and I wandered off to the old building of the cinema so then I remembered it was moved and I found the moved place. Yeah I bought the tickets before my companion could but I’ll skip ahead to the time that I almost lost the tickets because they were put down on a windowsill outside some children activity centre (Suspiria and children?? lol). I came back home late at night and was ready for the movie to happen the next day. Oh and before buying the tickets I coincidentally saw dance classes going on nearby that building... weird, as Suspiria has dance elements in there

The day came (December 15) and my family went together with me because they saw this as an opportunity to see the Christmas tree of our city (but not the movie). Needless to say, they were still visibly pissed at me orchestrating this idea, as I planned everything BUT the transport to go by. Well at least my mom and my sis. Dad was cool with it as he returned home to watch Home Alone. Aside all that, the cinema hall was cozy, Christmassy, not too small, there were a few trailers before the movie, no snack-seller places (as this is not a mall lol) - my companion was glad she wasn't at the mall as she found this place where we were at way lovelier.

Now with all that unnecessary long intro off my chest, let’s begin:

THE REVIEW

(definitely not spoiler-free, if you are sensitive to spoilers please watch the movie for yourselves before reading my review. But if you like being spoiled, I’m your friend then I guess lmao)

The intro to the movie felt like I ended up booking a wrong movie - I didn't expect that to be set somewhere in Germany, especially an American/Italian-shot one. Was that a thing in the original Suspiria? I don't know... (apparently it is, but the cities are different, never the country though)

Patricia (I didn’t know it was Chloë Grace’s role until reading the Wiki) looked like to be a really big deal here, with the dance pupils discussing her disappearance the other day and Susie overheard them, then Sara mentioned the Patricia thing to Susie after Susie revealed she was kind of chosen as the lead dancer for the Volk play... is it because Patricia was THE saviour that unfortunately knew a little too much?? Idk, it’s perhaps the reason we get to see the Klemperer guy subplot happen (I didn’t know it was Tilda Swinton behind him all the time either, must be because the way the male German accent was put on her lol). Turned out she was captured and kept under some dungeon where Sara had gone later in the movie, but looking like an almost melted and grotesquely old human being (or if Mary’s mother from “Chocolate with Nuts” was a person). Speaking of which, there is one more later in the movie, but I won’t tell just yet - we will need to get into such scenes discussion first.

Interesting deaths here, despite of them being grotesque and horrifically detailed. It almost felt like Susie, whilst doing her first dance as the probable lead dancer, temporarily turned into Olga’s voodoo doll or a violent bloodbender (that old lady from Avatar that could bloodbend was incredibly uncanny, damn) and left Olga completely fucked up, and the foam mouth later on... is this the effect myxomatosis has on a human being if it was ever humanly? She was twitching and salivating afterall. :P But no, she’s not dead until she gets to plead her death later in the movie! :O Several others occur throughout, but none is more prominent than this key scene I described, well at least according to TV Tropes.

The search for the evil person in this movie without Wiki helping me much was definitely a nice game for me to play. I kept thinking that Blanc might be that one, then I thought she’s not the one until she looked at Carolina (I think that was the tall tomboy’s name??) suspiciously and then she later passed out on the floor violently, with rabies foam and everything.

Anyway, don’t tell me Tilda Swinton wouldn’t make out a pretty good Thom Yorke post-Pablo Honey. She’s 8 years older than him, ffs! Also played a man before (e.g.: this movie I’m talking about) so the make up won’t be an unjumpable-over hurdle.

The sighs were for sure unsettling, especially because they oddly sounded like orgasm here and there. IDK why. I know fucking is referenced twice in this movie (well only fucking once and sex another time). Speaking of random things, the nightmare shots were completely random themselves, following up with some imagery we never see in the movie again, and some of that we see only a little (like the worms and bloody organs).

3 long scenes that were note-worthy for me. One is the Olga mutilation/Susie's first dancing scene that I already noted, and it was driven by music (the others will be too. Soundtrack of this movie still rules). Then there's the Volk play itself - girls go from one place to another, take poses of each other, dance individually, let their minimalistic red rope dresses flick in the air, interspersed with Sara in the underneath area and her broken leg (so broken, the bone went out of her skin!), and then the matriarchy getting her back on stage, but healing her leg with her witch powers before that. I haven't really listened to the rest of the soundtrack but I gotta check the song out so that I won't end up labeling it as a Kid A reject. No but seriously - intense dancing needed some intense drumming and painful instrument sounds just to project out the massiveness of the whole play.

Then I keep remembering the scene where Madame Blanc commands Susie to jump higher and higher in the mirror hall, up until she jumps as highest as possible. Also my companion’s favourite scene was the stare exchange between these two ladies during the part where people were singing some drinking song in a bar to celebrate ‘Volk’’s success - you hear them singing and then some chilling background noise slowly mixing and creeping its way into the atmosphere, then I think it leads into a scene where some sparkling aura entity wakes Susie up (and she’s nude) in the middle of the night and gets her to go down to this... dungeon orgy full of random stuff going on, complete with an Asian man doing something beyond explanation (I could say lewd but not quite), even more strange ritual dancing and the very much frightening Madame Helga... who looked like Jabba the Hutt for some reason. And then of course everyone slitting, slashing and twisting each other, and by the end Susie throwing us all a plot twist which makes her THE evil one who can finally let her ‘friends’ go of all that suffering they have been through thanks to the damn witches (and yeah apparently her dance friends haven’t completely died? THAT’S how they do - they tell Susie to end their suffering and she does). Also she cracks her chest open to reveal a... very graphic part of a female body that will by no doubt get this whole text review reported without consent so I refrain from any illustrations. Oh and this scene mostly has the possibly favourite this movie’s soundtrack song of mine, if not one of them, play - titled Unmade. It was a mind-boggling decision to do so but the movie editors do them I suppose, but still. I felt sad for the song having to be the background of such absurd but fair enough events? (Oh and I didn’t mention that everyone who voted for the other woman than Madame Blanc to be the leader of the witches (iirc) were rid of in this movie. Damn.)

Oh and the ending is rather an interesting detail, not talking about post-credits because as always I have to be this one movie goer who wants to do it but can’t because they’re urged to go back out of the movie theater. We turn into modern day Germany with a love heart carved on a brick wall with the letters A and L (perhaps?? at the time of finishing this review my memory towards it kind of erased some parts of the movie for me), a nice little remembrance of Lutz’s (the old man’s) love for his dear Anke, with which they have reunited during the movie, but Lutz was dragged out by some people related to the dance academy for probably wandering elsewhere than needed and somehow Lutz ended up as one of the sex dungeon victims, stripped of clothing and lying down quite powerless. That and before the modern day shot we are subjected with Lutz in hospital with Susie coming to visit, they discuss something related to the plot, Susie touches the guy speaks some more, leaves and according to the Wiki, Lutz “suffers from a violent seizure” that was nothing more than just a hard seizure. And it even erases his memories!

Anyway, as a whole, I felt more underwhelmed of this movie’s experience despite really wanting to see it. Like, “uhm yeah gore blood people getting slashed everyone’s a witch and everyone’s watched over by the witch and if you expose the witches you die” kind of underwhelmed. I didn’t want this movie to blatantly go through my head, but it did, that’s why I wanted to make notes everytime something notable happens. There was one startling moment, and it just was an innocent scene transition. And something within Olga’s mutilation scene made me chuckle (and made some other people leave the cinema hall ASAP). It’s more of a disgusting watch than scary. Also feels too dragged out in parts.

I’d only recommend it if you are gore-tolerant (there are people that can’t stand looking at blood so this might as well not be for you, especially if you’re younger than 16), like intense choreos that can impact other people literally, and... the soundtrack. Yes of course. If you dare to get through the movie with feeling its soundtrack, sometimes you might as well feel it right, but some of the soundtrack song usages might as well make you go “hmm” as much as me.

I'll remind myself to never watch a movie in theaters for soundtrack again (unless they're not THAT late). And the other 'trilogy of the three witches' movie remakes, especially if they come out at the time I haven't moved houses by now, because for sure as hell will my parents not like me going to cinema late once more. The movie is lowkey 7 out of 10 for me, can sometimes it's on the verge of falling down to 6 becaude of no completely proper comprehension of some directing choices... so 6.7/10 is good - as it still has 6 in it, but totally leans on to the 7.

Will probably watch it again. I need to remember some more of this movie sometime later. And looking for online uploads of this movie is unrecommendable - I'll wait until Lionsgate distributes it to America for wider audiences so that anything could surface 2 months (or even a few days) later from now. Though if I didn't need all that, I'd definitely not watch it again for a long time... unfortunately I want to.

Post movie feelings: my companion liked the movie, initially said to never watch it again but now wants to watch it again because it was so "wtf" she felt like re-experiencing it at some point. She liked the music (another bonus point for Yorke). She wished she could film the reactions of other people who watched this, as they mostly were confused, all being like "wtf did I just watch???". I'm already feeling bad for the 3rd companion who didn't join us but would also like to watch this - he’ll likely be one of those confused movie-goers.

[ohdeargodnotyouagain]

Way Down We Go (Side Piece)

Down the tunnel as they followed as a lightshow- but not the normal kind in clubs or bars. This one the memories were sketched out on the walls of the caves as Cassander walked in front of them. He glowed as he started to jog- the man running through time to get someplace. His memories were scratched in white in the darkness.

322 BC. The tunnel shifted around them suddenly to where they were inside a temple- a beautiful, tall, elaborate stone palace that dancers and people sang. The food smelled so sweet; it was an almost painful contrast to the scent of death before. The shadow remained beside Shade, but perhaps, slightly more whole than before. It breathed raggedly behind her, like it could not fully expand its lungs- but it was soft enough to lose over the sound of the music around them. 

A man was dancing with several other men; he was younger than Shade knew now. Still boyish in expression and not the soldier she yet knew. He danced and twirled, leaving all those, including the king who sat on the thrown with another man beside them. It was obvious who those were from the men who sat beside her body in reality. Alexander and Hephastian were both dazzled by him, though Hephastian seemed far more worried in his expression than the other.

Cassander had once told her how they had met. He had been a spy for the Persian army, sent to assassinate Alexander but had instead saved them both. The moment Alexander looked away from him; the man seemed to take offense. He pulled a strap from his body that was both rope like and a decoration. He moved it like a weapon at first, because he was a warrior in his movements. He was trained and honed from a young age. And he was graceful in a predatory way.

Cassander took the front of the dancers and walked forward, standing before the king and his lover for a moment. Before he twirled and moved forward to them, taking out his whip and cracking it- it came to life with a dazzling brilliant blue electric bolt. It twirled with his movements, creating a tornado one moment and then being a new creature before them the next. The bolt became a projector instead of a killing bolt and it showed them gorgeous images from his own memory. A brilliant cat padding its way toward them and roared, and then a glimpse of their jungle homeland. Birds breaking over a brilliant sunset and the images exploded into shining light that sent a brilliant ending to their dance. The servants dropped before it and the dancers dropped too, leaving only him standing. The drums that were banging their climax to the song stopped dead and Cassander stood before the king.

It was a sight. All the other dancers were to the floor, heads bowed to- What seemed like, Cassander. He stood at the front, the entire clan behind him in one soul. Cassander raised his head in dignity only of a prince… and then bowed himself, setting himself as a guest to their court. A peaceful gesture. The servant posing to be the prince in his place beside the King frowned, but did not clap as so many others did around them. The room was alive with them. “See me, king.”

The king stood, stepping down to him in the saunter that Shade would know so well. "What is your name?" The memory again, translated for her. The dancer bowed low, "Gaia."

Alexander scoffed, "That's a woman's name. And you are no woman." He thought for a moment, "I think... you should be called Cassander in my court." His smile was devious but Cassander's eyes widened a fraction of an inch. "For in your court, and always." He answered the young king, who nodded his satisfaction. "Come to my side, meet Adia." He gestured to another young man who was also Persian and beautiful beyond believe. His eyes shown like gold in the firelight. "Hello." The man greeted, and Cassander blinked, smiling at him, "Hello." The fire in the middle of the room seemed to grow as they continued to speak and then the people were running- a memory blending into another, one in which when Shade looked away, another took over. This time, of a new scene before her.

148 BC. Cassander was being drug by his armor, bloody and war torn, by Hephastian who had tears streamed down his face. Alexander gasped for breath, sword swaying in his hand as dead lay around him. "They are burning it!" Alexander cried aloud, "They are burning Macedonian and everyone in it. Gods I wished never to see this day." Hephastian swallowed, "My king-" He had to say it twice more before Alexander looked at him, "We need to go- Roxanna and the young prince are safe thanks to our friend- now we need to go- run away with each other until we can no longer see smoke." Cassander moaned softly and Hephastian shushed him, "We must go, my love." And Alexander nodded, dropping his sword and picking up Cassander instead. "We will stay together." He told him- and they drug his limp body into the dark burning night.

60 BC. More fire. This time images of a volcano erupting and Cassander swimming, watching death and destruction around him. The shadow behind her looked up at the volcano erupting and hunched over, too long arms seemingly pooling into the ground to mix with smoke and ash.  Alexander's face in the crowd, holding onto Hephastian for dear life, screaming out for Cassander who was swept into a different direction. It was sad to watch as the people around them died and they were separated.

40 BC. Then another memory came, this time of Cassander looking at Graego across from a tavern and going to him. "Me'ami?" He whispered and the face turned around and they kissed desperately- some of the men around them barked laughter that the drink had gotten to their heads and he pulled him into an alleyway, "Never leave me again." Graego whispered and Cassander shook his head, "I- I- I'm such a fool." He sobbed, shaking terribly in Graego's hug. What he could not see was the smile that curved Graego's face as he cried into his shoulder. The shadow raised a hand, gently touching her but not entirely. Just hovering there. A man that Shade did not know came from the darkness to whisper to Graego, "Meet my new apprentice Cassander. Brutus, general of the recently deceased Caesar." He purred and Cassander jerked backward from him, "You... made an immortal?" He whispered to Graego and he nodded, "Yes... do you like him?" Cassander's mouth worked and he swallowed, "You..." Whatever he said was cut off very suddenly- the memory was shifting again.

1095. "Charge!" There was a scream as horses ran past them- their hooves beating the ground and wading through lakes of blood. The crusades- and Cassander was there on a hill overlooking the bloodshed, before he dropped to his knees. "What have I done- What have I-" He gasped, trying to wipe the blood from his hands. Behind her, the voice of the shadow repeated it, but it was softer, "I killed them all." It responded to the Cassander that couldn't hear it.

1227. The next memory was strange because it was not of Cassander, but a woman. There was screaming and crying going on outside the window of a village shack. Perhaps it was someone else that he remembered- but when the woman peeked over the side of the window, shushing several other women in the room with her, it was clear who it was. Cassander, with long black hair and the brightest blue eyes, watched the men of Genghis Khan walk over the bodies of the men. The shadow beside Shade was purposefully standing close by her this time, almost in front of her like its presence would keep the memory from being real. Cassander would give a single for small groups of women to run, until she was one of the few left when the door burst down. She stood there, scared out of her mind with a knife in both hands.

1230. The next few memories of her made the shadow disappear from view- she was captured by the man, put in a cage and treated like cattle. It was... It was horrible and sickening and had no real word to describe the inhuman nature of what was done to this woman. And one could see the haunted look Cassander had in his eyes truly form here. The flickering scenes were like a television on bad reception until it landed on her in a barn. The other women were either dead or sleeping around her. She was crying softly as she held a small albino baby who wasn't breathing. Cassander sung a soft lullaby to it, rocking it back and forth. A mother, naked and bathed in moonlight, singing to her dead child who had undoubtedly just been born. She would occasionally try to bring it back to life- the same way Cassander had done to Graego, Alexander and Hephastian, but nothing seemed to take. A man came into the same area as her and started to remove his-

The ending was just as horrid. But this time, the woman stood victorious. The village that Khan had inhabited was destroyed- leaving nothing but the men's heads on pikes. She stood standing over a funeral burning of the women that did not make it; the bundle was no longer in sight. "What will you do?" Another woman asked and she shook her head, "I have nothing left. I will left the ocean take me, and hopefully let it drown me." She again, left the funeral pyre behind her, only this time with tears in her eyes.

1270. Ocean sounds rattled the world around her, and the shadow still had no returned. This time, this time Shade could see the woman tying up sails far above her. She looked down at a man who stared back at her. "What are you staring at?!" She snapped at him and he grinned, "Just the most beautiful woman I have ever seen!" He called and she slid down one of the ropes to land in front of him- billowing shirt barely falling off her shoulders. "Keep your eyes to yourself, Polo." He shrugged, "My eyes are my own, but I can't help them when you catch them with yours." She blushed and he shrugged, "Doesn't it seem just lovely."

 She took a breath, "What does?" Marco Polo gestured to the ocean, "This. And you." Cassander swallowed, "I know what you want, I you cannot have it." When she walked away, he followed her, "And what says I demand it from you so?" Cassander twisted around, "All men do."

 "Not me." He sobered, "Not me." His voice was soft on her, "I have one love, and she is the sea. But you seem as though you need more than the sea." Cassander swallowed and he smiled at her kindly, "Come, let me show you the world." The next few years was her exploring with him- the adventures they got into. They almost... almost, found love in each other. But by 1299, he had found someone else, and Cassander left in the dead of the night when they docked in England. A little heartbroken, and with one eye looking backward to see if he would follow. He didn't.

1350. The woman was running again, but this time from a group of men on horseback through the woods. Witch hunters. For a moment- just for a moment- the woman saw Shade. Her eyes widened and she yelled at her, "Run you fool! The hunters are here!" She screamed, grabbing hold of Shade's hand and running with her. The memories were becoming much more real. She ran until she could no longer run and they fell into a trench- except Shade kept falling. Fell into the next memory of a man looking down at her. 

1481. "Are you alright?" He asked and the woman blinked up at him, "Yes." She whispered and sat up, "Where am I?" Cassander asked him and he, the young man, shrugged, "Nowhere and everywhere it seems. You feel through my roof!" He pointed upwards and she shook some straw out of her hair. "Oh." Through the hole, there was another building that towered over the man's home. It was clear what she had been trying to do and it had nothing to do with flying. "It seems quite lucky you hit my roof!" He laughed, "You could have died!"

She said nothing as she picked up herself, "Excuse me, I must be going. I will pay for the damages as soon as I can- I promise you sir."

He stepped in front of her before she could leave. "Now wait just a minute, my dear. You are sick, cold and hungry. Any man can tell. Please, at least sit with me and have a warm drink." It was no secret that she was gaunt. Thin and tired. She looked at the bread he waved in front of her face and cleared her throat as he led her to sit. The memories fast forwarded to him showing her his drawings. Her becoming more and healthier until she was the one fixing the roof. They talked and enjoyed each other's company. The memories slowed to where he was older- in his forties now. "Leonardo?" She asked across their living room. He hummed softly in response.

"Why do you not desire me?" She asked and the man lifted his head, "Pardon?"

"You and I have lived together for many years- but you have never once fancied me to join you in bed. Am I ugly to you?" He laughed and she frowned at him.

"No my dearest... I just... I am not a normal man." She frowned at him and asked him what that meant and he sighed, slowly explaining his... awkward tastes. Now she laughed, "There is nothing awkward about you." She told him, "I just wish I was in my other form- perhaps I could belong to you in such a way I hold you." He came to sit beside her and refilled her drink, "My dear, you have given an old man hope for our future and not to mention, helped with some of my designs and... been my companion." He pointed up at the pair of wings they had strung from the ceiling.

She stayed by his side until the day he died. She did not change one bit, and closed his eyes for him when he let his last breath out. Cassander placed a kiss on his head, "In another life. I will meet you. And I will love you all over again, my dearest Leo." She whispered to him, wrapping her face in a shawl and leaving the room.

1517. There were heads Cassander saw in the distance. He gasped, running in a full sprint across the market screaming their names. Alexander and Hephastian twisted, eyes lighting up and tears all over again. They tackled each other, laughing and crying. A woman was with them with her long blond hair pulling around her shoulders. She cried seeing them too, and so did another, the one that kissed Cassander so deeply the memory couldn't convey how much it made Cassander's heart stop. They had found each other. The pyramid stood towering in the distance and he gasped, "I thought I had lost you all- I thought-" He gasped and Alexander gripped him, "We will always find each other- We will." He promised.

1650. Another flash of memory- this one felt realer than the last. Cassander stood on a pyre, tied to a pole. "Can we hurry it up please." he called to the pilgrim holding a torch. "This is getting very boring. Burn the witch. Yes- Yes, burn the witch." He snarled at the man who jerked with the flame. Cassander yawned as he was slowly burnt alive- and then came right back to life before them causing the villagers to scream and run. "Burn the witch my ass." He snapped at the few had remained. "All witches are under my protection! For every witch you burn I will bring back to unleash hell tenfold!" He screamed and the villagers went running as the skin on his face regrew. "Amateurs." He grunted, jumping down from the pyre and adjusting his burnt clothing. Adia sighed, handing him another coat. "Please, Me’ami, can we not try to antagonize the locals?" Cassander scoffed, "Why not, is the question."

1718. Another memory took over for the last. It was getting to mentally exhausting being here. This one on another ship that was circling a whirlpool. Cassander stood, wide brim hat with a feather in it waving in the wind, right at the front of the ship as cannons flew past him. The shadow had returned. It was behind her and human shaped. It no longer had the film grain around it, but solid edges. Cassander, and the group, lead an unholy siege against the British Empire. The Golden Age of the Pirate was upon them. A well placed canon ball hit the mast and they started to sink into the whirlpool.

1801. They were at a bar, Adia and Cassander. A smile on his features as he whispered into Adia's ear and slipped something onto his finger. Adia's face lit up and he turned, kissing him deeply. They laughed and sung together with a group of people. Alexander, Hephastian and Lykana were nowhere in sight. There was a horrible sound of yelling and the scene flickered in and out. "No...” Said a voice behind her, "not this again." Cassander's voice came out of the black shadow. "Not this." The scene's sound went in and out as Cassander was thrown into a wall and beat nearly to death. Adia was dragged in front of him.

Graego was there, shouting in words that were temporarily muted. "You thought you could take another?!" He snarled at him when the sound came back. People were screaming and running from the bar, leaving Graego, Brutus and several other immortals there. "YOU DARED. THINK YOU COULD. REPLACE ME." He hit him again with every word. Cassander begged for Adia's life- not his own. "See what is like- to lose the most important person in the world to you!" The shadow moaned behind her as it curled in on itself. "Adia- baby-"

Cassander looked into his eyes; "Look at me- I'm sorry- I love you so much-" And Graego took a sword from the hand of one of his men and swinging it downward. Beheading Adia- Cassander screamed- a bone breaking, lung crushing scream of agony seeing it. "No- No-" The shadow got louder like Cassander, "I don't take pleasure in this, Cassander." Graego whispered angrily, "But you can't just replace me. I am everything to you. And I will not be forgotten."

1850. More images. Ones of Cassander crawling through the dirt with people behind him. Him talking to a present- Abraham Lincoln. Pained expressions as Cassander drunk... and drunk more. It lead right into the civil war where he walked amongst the bodies of men and brothers. His long, thousand yard stare.

1889. They were on a bridge, overlooking a long river that flowed beneath them. Cassander was close to the man that she knew now, but yet, somewhat innocent in his features. He was talking a young woman from the ledge, “Jane… please…” He whispered to her on the other side of the railing. “Please, my love. Come down from there. I don’t care what you’ve done.” His voice was soft, begging quietly, but urgent. “Jane, I don’t care- Please don’t take yourself away from me.”

The woman turned to look at him. Her eyes were red, “I killed those women.” He swallowed, “I know.” She took a breath, “You know what your little police force call me?” His voice was soft, “They think it is a man. Jack the Ripper, I’ve lead them astray- come now.” He whispered to her and she hissed at him, “Jane. Jane the Ripper. Much more fitting.” Cassander swallowed, “Please, think of the baby.”

Cassander had had nightmares of this when they slept together. Shade would know the softness of his voice, the whisper, “Jane no- Jane-“in his restless sleep. When asked, he told her once of a woman he loved in England, who had killed herself and the baby he thought was his. How much he had been looking forward to it. It was a topic of pain neither of them liked to bring up.

Cassander stepped a little closed and she climbed over the railing after taking his hand. “This baby isn’t yours.” She told him suddenly and he blinked at her, “What?” Jane looked into his eyes, frown on her pursed lips. “It isn’t.” She hissed at him. “And I was right- That’s the only reason you’re saving me. You want the baby. Well you can’t have it!” He shook his head, “No! That’s- What- JANE!” She had taken a knife out of her pocket, cutting into her stomach and repeatedly stabbing herself. Cassander caught her, calling out for help. He put a hand on the blood and she stared at him, “I won’t let you take my baby.” She hissed at him and he shook his head, “No no- I don’t- I want you both- you both-!”

The image sped up- again, like a poorly used television- to images of her taking her first breath as an immortal. To Cassander buying them a house by the ocean. To her hurtful words and her abuse. To the relationship that Cassander was so willing to go along with because he thought he deserved the pain she caused. The shadow said nothing in this- not even when they sat across a courtroom and she pointed at him- to the cuffs that were slapped around his wrist that he had hurt her even when the bruise was on his jawbone. To the Asylum they had put him in and the bars he had grown accustomed to. His entire life had been one tragedy after another.

1876. He picked up the phone- the first time it had ever rung and put it to his ear slowly. “Uh… Hello?” He asked and the voice on the other end was screaming with joy. “I knew it!” Alexander laughed, “WHAT AN AGE!” He laughed and Cassander practically collapsed. They talked for hours on this new thing- this telephone that he knew would connect people across the world soon enough. “Find me.” He told Alexander, “Find me and take me away from here.” Alexander asked about Adia and Cassander couldn’t answer him. “It’s my fault, Alexander…. Everything is my fault. Please... I need to see you. I just...” Alexander calmed him, “I’m on my way, brother. Hold on. I know...” He swallowed, “I’m coming. Just hold on.”

1914. The worst war he had ever seen and he stood to take a picture with his troops. Captain Roshack. A name he had forged on his papers to make it look legal. He had misheard the man asking him to look at the ink blots and he had answered with it. It seemed like a good name as any. The flash made his eyes hurt and he walked toward the encampment. The sounds of fighting were not far away. A man handed him a cigarette and he thanked him, smoking it as he looked over the fields. “God I hope this is the last war like this.” He sighed, “It won’t be.”

1944. The shadow left her side and walked toward the dying man on the ground- and seemingly went right into him. They went through his years at Ford, the good years of the 30s in Cassander’s barhopping. Alexander, Hephastian and Lykana staying together against all odds. Until he was drafted. He built his first engine, to only come here on the battle field of World War II. He was filled with holes, and was staring up at cloudy sky above him. His eyes found Shade looking over him and he blinked slowly, “Are you an angel?” He asked quietly, looking up at her. His voice was cut off by the blood rising up his throat. The rain pelting down came in sheets, soaking him to the bone. He shivered as he sunk further into the mud. There was no one left alive on this side of the battlefield. “It’s okay…” Cassander whispered to her, “It doesn’t hurt anymore.” He was holding the hand of a soldier who had died not too long ago. It wasn’t clear if he was talking to him or to her, even as he stared into her eyes. Through the rain was a small bark and a dog no bigger than a puppy came sloshing through the rain and sniffed him. A small, black ball of fur that was desperate to find someone, started to tug him out of the mud, digging with his front paws to get him out as best he could. Cassander gasped in pain as the dog drug him up the trench was the water started to rise further and he rolled over and the dog crawled under his arm to try to get him up, Cassander moaned again and gasped as he started to throw up bullets. The dog licked his bloody hand, whimpering as he slowly got to his feet. He picked up the dog with shaky legs, not strong enough to even carry his gun by to drag it behind him through the muddy field of bodies. “What do they call you huh?” He asked the dog, limping heavily towards the sounds of gunfire. “Artemis. That’s what they call you.”

1986. He drove away, tears in his eyes with a handful of people in the back of his truck. The ruins of Chernobyl behind him as he drove fast to get out of dodge. Graego had done it again- tried to take the world from everyone. He had found a place he could have been happy and Graego had gotten in the way of it again. Damn him. DAMN HIM. He swallowed, Artemis panting beside him in the floorboards. He patted his head, “Don’t worry boy. We’ll be okay.” He whispered to the dog, who huffed from where he was on the floor.

2012. His eyebrows rose a little at the piece of paper in his hands. The address was… interesting, to say the least. Cassander looked up at the building and cocked his head to the side. His suit was impeccable, as was the rest of him. Not a hair out of place, tie practically glued into its spot with its sapphire pin holding steady. The man glanced at the note in his hand before it turned to ash in a flash like someone had taken a picture- then it flew into the wind off his palm. No evidence of his charge would be left for people to see.

He let the sunglasses slide down his nose a little as he stepped to the front door. A light touch to the doorbell and he waited, arms behind his back. When it opened he didn’t smile. It wasn’t his job to do that. “Ms. Shade, I presume?” He asked softly, his throat gave his tone a low rumble. Another her stood there in front of the door, her face immediate suspicious of the man. This time there was no shadow to make ominous comments about this interaction. Cassander kept her at arm’s length, but as time went on, he started smiling at her when she wasn’t looking. But he let his guard down. Just when they were starting to seem to get to that edge of- of whatever he was he was scared of.  Her ex- there was a battle and Cassander made it just in time to get her to the hospital- She had killed him. Cassander waited there by her side, praying that she would wake up. That he could protect her better. Lykana came to her in the middle of the night. Her steps silent. “Cassander.” She greeted and he looked up at her, a tired expression on his face. “Hey.” He breathed, “How’d you find me?” She shrugged, “Alexander.”

He nodded, “Go get some sleep.” She told him after a moment, “I will watch over your new pet until she wakes.” Cassander frowned, “I thought you didn’t like me fraternizing with the humans.” Her smile was soft on him, “I know you. You’ll do it anyway.” He stood, “I’m just going to get something to change into from home and I’ll be back.”

The memory sped up and he was at home, stepping out of the shower when he got the call. Lykana was so quiet when she told him what happened. “I… I’m sorry Cassander. Cassander-“

He had already hung up, dialing the hospital. “I need- I need some information on Artemisia Ca-“The nurse spoke over him, “Oh its- Sir, I’m sorry.”

The phone broke on the ground. Why did he always start loving people who left too soon?

2013. He knew it. The woman from last night at the bar knew it. But what he couldn’t quite figure out was why she was standing over him. A not so friendly look on his face or why he was in a bathtub in his shitty apartment. Was it his shitty apartment? They were looking a lot alike these days. “Waffleck do ya want?” He grunted, face muffled with his arm, and turned over in the tub, his rolled up jacket a surprisingly comfortable pillow. The bottles rolled around in the tub with him.

She knew this moment. The moment they had supposedly had met. She had gotten him cleaned up- they had rebuilt that apartment building. They had gotten closer- danced when the roof was leaking. He had talked about so much with her- such open honesty. If only she knew that he was so desperate not to mess things up this time- to tell her but hoping she- she…. Wouldn’t leave.

The memories blending together. So far the happiest ones that she had seen so far. But now they were in a different space. Lykana stood not too far away from him; they were on a roof overlooking the Kremlin. “You told me she was dead.”

Lykana was quiet for a moment, “I was saving you from yourself. You haven’t watched yourself- You’ve been dying from the inside out- all over humans. I didn’t want you to get attached and lose another-“ “That is my choice!” He screamed, “How dare you get involved with that- How dare you tell me she died and she has been alive all this time- How do I even begin to tell her what happened!? What we were!”

She scoffed, “You’ll find a way. You’ll fall in love with her- You’ll love her. SHE’S HUMAN, CASSANDER! Humans die!” She yelled back at him, coming closer and the steps she took froze over. “No matter how much you love her- she will always die in the end!”

“Then I will love her with every last breath I have!” He shook his head, “I don’t care if she’ll die- I will spend my entire life making sure she’s happy. And I swear to all the gods, if you intervene again I will find a way to end us both.” She stared at him, “Cassander-“ He held up a hand, “No- Lykana. You were wrong.” Her mouth shut, “And this conversation is over.” 2018. More images of his capture from his last job. His desperation to be free. The thoughts and hallucinations of her there. The vague distorted memories of her coming up to his cage. And then nothing- Shade was standing in a dark room. Nothing inside, nothing around them… Cassander stood behind her. Eyes confused and vacant. “Artemisia…?” He asked quietly, he was the one she knew. The shadow fully forming. He had become clearer and clearer the last few memories but now he was there. “Are you an angel?” He asked, eyes blurred looking at her.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Summer 2017 Anime Overview: Rage of Bahamut: Virgin Soul and The Reflection

My classic anime overview posts are making a comeback! I watched 7 different anime in the Summer 2017, so we’ve got a lot to talk about- so much so that I’ll do a couple anime each post rather than just doing one giant post.

I fully believe in saving the best for last, so we’ll rank and review these anime in order from worst to best. Which means we’ll be starting with the anime I found the weakest out of what I watched this season. Rage of Bahamut: Virgin Soul and The Reflection. Are both of them bad anime? Or are they just not quite as a good as the other fare? Let’s dive in and find out!

Rage of Bahamut: Virgin Soul

Yep, this was easily the worst anime I watched this season. Not animation-wise, the art was very nice (though not quite as good as its prequel). But story-wise? WOW. It’s been a while since I’ve seen an anime- or a story period- end that badly.

And unlike a lot of people, I didn’t really come into this anime expecting much. Rage of Bahamut: Genesis, the first season, was a beautifully animated but incredibly shallow adventure romp with a messy ending that managed to be both cliche and nonsensical in how it fridged the main female character. It was fun for the most part, but also eyerollingly trope-y and sloppy storytelling wise, with fairly 2D characters. I came into this season expecting much the same. And for the first half-ish of the anime that was what I got. It certainly wasn’t well written, it was sexist, it was cliched, but it worked okay for what it was, which was a silly swords and sorcery story where you could just turn your brain off and enjoy the eye candy. 

There wasn’t much to the characters, but they were pleasant and likable enough. Nina, the lead of the story, was just kinda dragged along by the plot and didn’t have much going on (her main conflict is that when she gets turned on by a dude she turns into a dragon yes i’m serious), but her gung-ho attitude made her fun to watch. There was also an wacky all-lady prison break midway through the show that was kinda awesome.

 (I should note though, one of the characters is a very fantastical take on Jeanne D’Arc. And she’s portrayed  as someone who sucks at fighting if she doesn’t have the gods on her side because women are weak or whatever I guess! She finds some fulfillment only when a god pulls a Virgin Mary on her and forcibly impregnates her with an angel son. After this, her whole character revolves around her son. I had a lot of problems with that for obvious reasons).

But then. OH BUT THEN. I thought the first season’s denouement and end was messy, but I HADN’T SEEN NOTHIN’. Not only was this ending horrendous, it managed to damage all the characters involved (except for the zombie girl, Rita, who is too cool to be ruined by anything) and even basically damage the first season. If I cared enough to go back and watch that season, this ending would make it a sour experience, basically, just from how thoroughly the plot and characters from that season were mangled by this follow-up. Nothing redeemable was left in its wake.

Basically the whole story was overtaken by one of the most poorly conceived love interests I’ve ever seen. Nina’s beloved, Charioce, was a super sexy dude who had a few tiny flaws, like how he’d, y’know, massacred an entire race and also slaughtered, enslaved and tortured yet ANOTHER race (even putting them in gladiator style death matches for entertainment) and unjustly imprisoned a literal saint of a woman and told her he was only keeping her alive so he could murder her small child in front of her. 

But you see guys, he danced with Nina a couple times and is super hot and his mom’s dead which is sad so it’s okay that he did a little genocide, tried to kill all Nina’s friends (one of whom was ten) and threw her in jail. I’m serious. That was the shows logic. Turns out the reason for all this was it was some plan to unseal the dragon a character had been sacrificed to seal for the next hundred years in Genesis. (So he effectively rendered her death totally meaningless). He unsealed it just so he could kill it for good . The only explanation we get for his double dose of genocide was that ONE of the races has a superweapon he needed to kill a dragon. Yep, no explanation given as to why he needed to do kill all those beings or enslave them or put them in death matches or personally torment a woman who did nothing to him, but the show sure treated it like it explained everything and meant we were totally supposed to forgive AND feel sorry for this sexy, sexy tyrant.

(In the end, the genocide and slavery ends up being a footnote: everyone loves Charioce because he killed a dragon, the demons are being payed low wages instead of being enslaved so everything’s fine now, no justice for those who were slaughtered, no consequences for the oppressors, no reparations made, no word on whether the death camps and many other atrocities even stopped happening, nothing.)

Nina being in love with him damaged her irreparably as a character too, even though she was perfectly okay before that- it was just so infuriating that she could set aside all the people he killed and the fact he’d tormented her friends because he was a smexy dancer. I get what they were going for-a kind of starcrossed Disney ~love isn’t rational~ type thing. And “love isn’t rational” is just the laziest writing copout ever, I’m so sick of it. 

You can sell a romance where one party has done horrible things and the other one loves them anyway if you have the writing skill. But in order to sell that romance as understandable, you need to make the audience like that character too. The character needs to be actually endearing and interesting in some way.That way when so-and-so is tormented about how she loves him despite the things he’s done, the audience is tormented for the same reason. But there was no reason for Nina to be hopelessly in love with Charioce. Dude had the personality of a wet paper towel- I don’t think he emoted once the entire anime, even when he was on the verge of death. He didn’t offer her any invaluable support or guidance to Nina either. Yet she at one point said she’d choose the ENTIRE WORLD over him if it came down to it. A guy she danced with like twice! 

The worst thing about the Nina/Charioce romance is how a bunch of characters were literally sacrificed for it. One of the main characters of the show got himself killed shielding Charioce from those he had wronged, despite the fact Charioce had done absolutely nothing to warrant such devotion and said character didn’t even have a meaningful relationship with him. It was a comically anticlimatic death too, it was out of nowhere, the other characters barely emoted about it with even his supposed best friend basically shrugging it off. 

The other person sacrificed solely to add drama to Nina and Charioce’s lurve was Nina’s ten year old friend, who was unceremoniously shanked from behind  after being a major character for most of the season. It was so cruel and pointless, I felt sure a magic resurrection was coming for the kid, but nope- he was killed off solely to cause some drama between the good guys and Charioce because the genocide apparently wasn’t enough to make our heroes mad at him. Nina does finally get mad at him, but only for ten minutes, then she and almost everyone else instantly forgave him upon learning he didn’t TECHNICALLY directly kill this one kid.

 Even though he HAD been trying to kill the kid ALL SEASON and the bounty he put on this kids head was still pretty much the direct cause of his death. But nah,he didn’t like, specifically tell the killer “hey go murder this small child” , he just heavily implied anyone who did it would get a reward from him, so it’s all fine. Even the kid’s grieving mother and father figure eventually forgave Charioce about this for no apparent reason. 

Speaking of pointlessness, the cherry on top of the shit sundae was that the dragon all these characters were sacrificed to kill? The one whose death was supposedly the payoff worth all this genocide and melodrama? It was revealed in the last minute of the story that Charioce DIDN’T EVEN MANAGE TO KILL IT. Rendering the entire mess of a narrative COMPLETELY MOOT.

Seriously, if you want to see how overfocusing on badly written heterosexual romances can destroy an entire narrative, this series is a prime example. If you want to see an example or writers thinking a male character can be forgiven for any atrocity and win the female lead’s heart as long as he’s stoic and sexy and manly about it, this series will show you. This show demonstrates the worst pitfalls of romance narratives- writers seem to think as long as it’s an attractive man and woman getting together, they don’t have to bother with characterization or logic to sell their connection.

it’s a real shame- poor Nina could have been a compelling lead. There was stuff there that could have been developed into something cool had the writers cared at all- she could turn into a dragon, it was mentioned she was looked down on for not being fully dragon, she came from a rural village and was fairly innocent and didn’t know much about the world, her father died tragically- but rather than explore any of that, it was decided because she was a woman, her entire arc should be about her swooning and crying over Bishie McKillsaLot, never mind anything else.

Rage of Bahamut: Virgin Soul could have been a shallow but entertaining show like its predecessor. In the end though, the only thing entertaining about it by the end was how hard it crashed and burned. 

The Reflection

The Reflection isn’t quite as bad as it’s reputation in the anime community right now suggests. Which is not to say it’s a good show. It’s not good. But it’s definitely far from the worst anime I’ve see and has a few interesting aspects.

This show is a collaboration between an anime studio and Stan Lee, (who I guess really likes being involved in anime- he’s done this before with Heroman) and it follows a group of superheroes. The basic premise is that three years ago, a strange light and smoke hit people around the world. Some were killed, some gained superpowers. Those who gained powers were called ‘The Reflected”. The world hates and fears them, in true Marvel style. Now a villain named Wraith is kidnapping people for mysterious reasons. 

The Reflection is a messy show, which is apparent just from the animation. The colors are very flat and the lines are very thick, which seems to be an attempt to capture the classic comic book feel. But the thing is, old comics chose to have a bright color palette, or at least a highly contrasting one, for good reason. if you do that kind of style with a dark color palette, it ends up looking very muddy. Unfortunately, that’s what The Reflection chose to do. This was especially egregious in the last episode, where having the darkly colored characters against a dark sky made it very hard to tell what was happening.  On top of that, the animation was very limited in general.

There’s also a lot a standard superhero stories here that are not given a fresh spin- we have the angsty product of a lab experiment, the shallow, show-offhero who learns superheroing is SRS BUSINESS after his loved ones are killed due to his negligence and most disappointingly, a main villain whose only motivation is that he wants to plunge the world into a vague, generic sort of darkness.

Some stuff is just straight up not explained, which made the finale confusing- we see a flashback that is supposed to make us forgive a character for his actions, but it’s so incoherent and quick it reveals nothing. Nor is the villain really explored in a way that makes sense (save for an extremely on the nose message about “darkness”, which was repeated so often in the episode I got sick of hearing it), his actions are unclear and the whole thing is just generally clunky. It seems like they chose not to explain a lot of stuff (and end on a cliffhanger) in hopes of getting a sequel, but you can leave mysteries and openings for a possible season 2 without being opaque and hard to follow. In fact, a final episode like The Reflection’s is way more likely to turn fans off than leave them wanting more.

However, The Reflection does have a few interesting ideas and good moments. One of the main heroes, Lisa, has a wheelchair that transforms into a giant robot, which is rad as hell and should be included in every superhero narrative from now on. Her personality is also endearing- she’s a determined, fiery, geeky girl who loves comics. Her whole storyline where her father is all protective of her due to her disability and she tells him doesn’t consider her condition tragic and proves she’s actually the one who can protect him is fairly heavy handed , but it’s a very positive narrative, and I’m especially glad to see it in an anime after being burned HARD by the ableism in Yuki Yuna is a Hero. She’s sadly sidelined after her introductory episode (it’s especially strange that her comic book fandom never comes up again), but still remains a good character.

There’s also a character who was blind, except he can see the silhouettes of people who have superpowers and thus pick out when when people are superpowered that way- that’s another good concept and I liked that his wife was the physically strong and imposing one of their partnership, though she didn’t get as much characterization as I’d like (in fact, she pretty much had none outside her relationship with her husband). The episodes revolving around Lisa and this pair were definitely the strongest of the series.

The lead of the story, Eleanor, also had a lot of potential. She had the heart of a hero, but she was desperate for validation and because of that desperation she ended up having an identity crisis where she developed an alternate personality. If her psychology had been explored more, that could have been a really interesting concept- but it wasn’t really explored at all beyond generic “this personality is the darkness within me” so it ended up being more on-the-nose and boring than anything. Still, I appreciated Eleanor’s scrappiness and in the hands of a more competent show, she could have been really great. 

The other characters were duds though, unfortunately- the villains were generic and kinda just there. The hero X-On drove a lot of the plot, yet we learned pretty much nothing about him and he had no personality other than being kind of a dick. The magical girl squad was a fun touch and I loved seeing them kick ass and save the day, but they didn’t have distinct personalities from each other or much thematic significance to the story.

Basically, there’s nothing offensive or repellent about The Reflection. I have to give it points for trying something different stylistically from the usual anime fare. It’s a show that could have been good if it had been executed a little better and given more room to breathe. However, it wasn’t, so it ended up being a very clunky, forgettable anime.

[cookiepiefrenzy]

Integritale 06 - He Forgot I Existed

Serifa woke up on the couch in the living room. Sans had already woken up and had placed her head in his arms, making her sleeping position more comfortable.

-Good morning Sans...

-<Bonejour> sweetheart!

-Seriously...?Serifa yawned, rubbing her eyes. I wake up and this is the first thing I hear?

-Ah...One day, you will laugh at my jokes...one day... Anyway, how did you sleep?

-Well enough I suppose...What about you? You departed for dreamland quite early last night.

-Yeah, I was tired...hadn't slept a lot the previous night.

-I...figured.

-Anyway, want some breakfast? I can make you a <sanswich> if you like.

-Show some mercy, I just woke up! Serifa almost chuckled.

-Ok, ok, I'll just go make it for you.

Sans went to the kitchen, leaving Serifa loll a bit more. He soon came back with a sandwich and two bottles of ketchup.

-Come on, get up <lazy-bones>! Breakfast is ready!

-I swear, if you make one more pun...

She got up and started biting on her sandwich.

-What's all that ketchup for?

-Oh, that's just my breakfast. Want some?

-No, thanks...wait, where are you gonna put all that ketchup?

-I'm just gonna drink it.

-You have to be kidding me right now.

-Nope! Sans exclaimed, opening a bottle of ketchup and drinking it within seconds.

Serifa was shocked.

-HOW? How do you even manage to do that?

-Heh! I guess I'm up to the challenge!

-Oh really? Let me try then!

Serifa grabbed the other ketchup bottle and started drinking, giving up almost instantly.

-I'm never trying that again unless I wanna throw up!

-More for me then! Sans smiled, emptying the second bottle.

-I seriously don't know how you're doing this...! How much ketchup do you even consume every day?

-A <skeleton>.

-....You have a serious problem.

Sans laughed and wrapped his arm around Serifa's waist, hugging her softly.

-Say...wouldn't it be awesome if this could last forever..? Sans looked up.

-Well...it can last if you want it... replied Serifa, kissing Sans' cheek.

-You are gonna have to leave sooner or later... Sans's voice got sadder, as he looked down.

-I...want to stay...

-That's impossible. They are looking for you... You're in danger here.

-Didn't you tell me that the only way out is the king's castle? If I go there...they will find me anyway, won't they?

-Probably... But still, don't you want to try? I mean... don't you have loved ones waiting for you on the surface?

-Actually...I don't. Serifa's expression suddenly got considerably sadder. Sans looked at her, worried.

-How is that possible...?

Serifa was struggling to hold her tears back.

-Sweetheart...are you okay?

Sans approached her, but she turned away instantly, trying to hide her teary eyes. But it was to no avail. Sans knew she was crying.

-Sweetheart...if you don't want to tell me, it's fine... But at least... At least let me comfort you...

Serifa turned around and looked at him. Her face was drowning in tears.

-Come here, sweetheart...

Sans opened his arms. Serifa quickly fell in his hug and started crying on his chest. She was trying to be as silent as possible, but Sans could feel it all. Her spasms as she has crying, her whole body trembling... And, all he could do, was kiss her head and hold her tight and close. He was really worried, but he had to be strong for her.

It took her a long while to calm down. She gradually managed to stop crying and just lied in Sans's arms, where she found comfort.

-I'm...sorry I reminded you of something so sad... Sans apologised, giving her a tissue.

-It's...alright. I don't know why I cried so much...I...had decided to never cry again about this matter. I'm sorry I worried you...

-What matters now is you and only you darling... You don't have to justify yourself.

-Sans...do you mind if I...share something with you? I...I have no one else and...I really need to get it off my chest right now.

-You can tell me anything sweetheart... If sharing whatever burdens you will help you feel better...go ahead. I'm here for you.

-Thank you...

Serifa took a deep breath.

-Well...my mother was a dancer and my father a painter. We were a very happy family. I still remember my mom teaching me how to dance, my father giving me painting lessons...It was all a kid could ask for, really. I still remember those joyful times...

Sans was listening closely.

-Then...without a warning....my mother died. A car accident took her away from us. I was only 11. This was when everything started to fall apart...My father promised to do his best to protect me. And he actually managed to make it...for a while.

She paused for a second.

-He worked really hard...Raising a child by yourself isn't easy you know? He was away from home most of the time, but did his best to provide for me. And I truly appreciate that. I know he tried a lot....but he failed.

Sans held her close.

-Soon, his paintings stopped selling. After losing my mother, his inspiration to paint...it all disappeared. His paintings got worse and worse over time... He soon started drinking. I understand how stressed he must have been though...I can't blame him, really.

Serifa sighed.

-We soon got into debt. My father could barely pay for us to even live, so he borrowed money from anyone he could. I still remember people coming at our house late at night, banging on the doors, threatening us for the money we owed...God, I was so scared of them... After a while, my father ended up selling our house to pay his debt. We moved to the house he used to live in with my mom before I was born... That's where everything turned...upside down. You see, that house was in a new town. I had been there once or twice when I was little, but I knew no one and no one knew me.  There was no one I could turn to.

-But, you made friends soon, right? I mean, look at you! You're such a friendly person... You have been here for only a few days and all the monsters that have met you already love you!

-Well...that's true but...I didn't have the chance to meet anyone. You see, my father had gotten a bit...crazy. He had started thinking that I was my mother...and he locked me up in the house, without letting me leave in case something happens to me. He thought he was protecting me this way.

-Couldn't you call someone? Or escape from a window or something?

-I could go to our garden...but the house was surrounded by a tall, thick fence... I couldn't climb over it. It was a pretty isolated place too, so I couldn't call out to anyone. I doubt anyone even knew I existed to be honest. As for calling...even though we sold our old house, we still were short on money. We didn't have a phone. Heck, we didn't even have energy at times. I seriously don't know how my father managed to return so drunk every night, at the economical state we were in.

-Did he...hurt you? I mean, you said he was drinking... Drinking can make people...violent.

Serifa closed her eyes, took another deep breath and opened her eyes again.

-Sorry, if that made you uncomfortable-

-Most of the times, I did what my father wanted, so I rarely got hit. But...you remember how I said he thought I was my mother...? Well, because of that...he ended up hurting me in other...more  specific ways.

It took Sans a few seconds to realise what she meant by that. His eyes widened and he freaked out. He held her as tightly as he could, caressing her back. He suddenly hated that guy so much, without even knowing him.

-I...I can't believe this...You had to go through...all that...Oh, my poor sweetheart...

-You know what hurt the most, Sans? her voice started breaking. He thought I was my mom... He made me wear her clothes, use her stuff, act in the same way she acted...But in all this acting...where was I? If I was my mom, then, in his mind, where was Serifa, his own daughter? My father, the one who taught me so many things, who had given me so much love when I was little...He forgot I even existed... And, for a long while, I thought this was okay. I thought that, as his daughter, I had to help him get through his pain and do what he wanted. I had literally become my mom. Even I had forgotten who myself, who Serifa was...

-I know that, as his daughter, you owed him a lot...but not this, Serifa. He was...he was destroying you!

-Yes, I realised that, eventually. That's when I decided to escape. One night, he came home, drunk as usual... And I attacked him. I took a pan and hit his head as hard as I could...I felt really guilty for it...He fell unconscious and I managed to get my hands on his keys. And I ran away. I decided to come to Mt. Ebott. I had been hearing from TV that, whoever came in that mountain, disappeared.

-W-Wait...You actually wanted to...? Sans sounded really worried.

-No, Sans, I didn't want to kill myself. If I wanted to, I had plenty of chances to do it in the house I was trapped in. But I wanted to live...to be free and happy. That's why I promised I'd never cry again over this. I'd done plenty of crying in the house I was in. I guess the reason I cried now...is because I had the chance to finally trust someone who understood me...who recognised me...

-Did it help you though?

-A lot, actually...I never had the change to talk about this with anyone... And the fact that you listened to me...that you were here for me...heck, the fact that you see me as Serifa and not as my mom...it's really helping me...Thank you, Sans...

She gave him her warmest smile, as tears were still falling from her eyes.

-I'm glad I could be of help... Sans smiled back. Wait, then why did you come here? To a mountain where people disappear?

-Well...maybe it was a strange way of thinking...but I always thought that people disappeared here, not because something bad happened to them...but because they were taken to an awesome place...so awesome they didn't want to return.

-Wow...I admire your positivity...after all you went through...

-Seems like I was right though! This place is beautiful, filled with beautiful people...like you...

-But you shouldn't forget, the others were right too... People who come down here...Yes, they find a great place...but also find death...

-You know what Sans...? I'm happy here, with you. I don't care if it's dangerous...this is the happiest I've been since my mom died. In this place...I am with you and I am Serifa.

Sans kissed her forehead.

-Then I promise... I'll make sure your life here will be as great as you deserve!

They hugged each other as Serifa was crying with both sadness and relief.