#“Oh how did you find out you were genderflux?”

[your-average-art-dealer]

FINALLY I FOUND SOMETHING TO DESCRIBE IT

Okay so I've struggled to define myself for like a while now cause I felt like what my gender or what I presented as changed based on the situation or people right?

so I'm looking through the tag of a character I like and I see custom Icons made of them with it being the "genderflux" flag and I'm like "oh what's genderflux?" so I look it up and-

BAM

I was hit with the most relatable piece of text I've ever read in my entire life and I ONLY READ IT BECAUSE OF A CUSTOM PRIDE ICON OF A CHARACTER ON TUMBLR

I'm going insane

...

for anyone who wants to know, the character was Oz from Monster Prom

[writing-with-olive]

A few tropes to avoid: LGBT addition

Note that this is not a complete list, but rather some tropes that I tend to see a lot that are tiring if not downright offensive and hurtful. This turned out to be a very long post, so most of it ended up below the cut. Press J to skip.

Gay/Lesbian

[id: two flags. The one on the top is the lesbian pride flag. The one on the bottom is the gay pride flag /end id]

Anything hypersexualizing

It’s just... not good representation. No one likes to be hypersexualized. Ever. 

The one gay/lesbian in the heterosexual friend group

This tends to come across as tokenism. Not real representation. Also, people tend to be friends with people they connect with. This is why a lot of LGBT people form groups. It’s actually far more likely in the real world for there to be a gay friend group with one straight person.

The homosexual dies first

Yay there’s a gay/lesbian person! Representation! oh... they died five minutes in? That sucks. 

Look, if there’s a lot of death happening in your story, it’s fine if a gay person dies, but please stop making the first death a gay person. And if you decide to kill of a gay person, make sure it’s not the only one.

The gay that refuses to admit he’s gay but he’s super feminine so he has to be

Femininity does not equal being gay. I’m not entirely sure where this trope (and general misconception) came from, but it’s tiring to see it getting beaten into the ground

Femininity is fine as a trait, but it should not be the tell that a character’s gay. Finding other dudes attractive or being attracted to other dudes should be the main tell.

(Bi/pan, Trans, Nonbinary, Genderflux/genderfluid, Ace/aro all below the cut)

Bi/Pan

[id: two pride flags. The one on the top is the pansexual pride flag. The one on the bottom is the bisexual pride flag /end id]

Anything hypersexualizing

See above. I’m tired of it. It’s not good representation.

The bi/pan character is a cheater

Bi/pan people aren’t any more likely to cheat than anyone else. The fact that the general pool of people bi/pan people are attracted to is larger doesn’t really change that. Please don’t make your bi/pan character a cheater.

The “no this character is with a [guy/girl] now so that means they’re [straight/gay] not bi”

This is bi erasure. Bi/pan people are still bi/pan when they’re dating a dude. Bi/pan people are still bi/pan when they’re dating a girl. Bi/pan people are still bi/pan when they’re dating a nonbinary person. Period.

The “this character can’t be bi/pan - they’ve only slept with one gender/they’re a virgin”

Being bi/pan is about being attracted to people of two or more genders/being attracted to people regardless of gender. It doesn’t matter who they’ve slept with. If they’re bi/pan, they find more than one gender attractive.

Trans

[id: the trans pride flag /end id]

“Hi I’m John, but I used to be Jane.”

In no world is this realistic. Trans people are not going to introduce themselves to anyone by using their deadname (their name given at birth that no longer applies to them). There are lots of other ways to show a character is trans.

Trans dudes have to be hypermasculine, and trans girls have to be hyperfeminine

This is just untrue... being a more affeminate trans dude doesn’t make him any less of a man. Being a more masculine trans woman doesn’t mean she’s any less of a woman. Not conforming to the most stereotyped version of their gender does not mean they’re not a valid person

“He - she - did the thing” when referring to a trans woman and vice versa for a trans man in prose.

I specify in prose because if someone has just come out, and characters are tripping up over pronouns but trying to learn and correct themselves, then that’s usually fine (though make sure to research what’s acceptable around this and what isn’t).

The whole calling attention to someone’s pronouns by misgendering someone and then flamboyantly correcting yourself when they’re trans thing can actually be kind of transphobic. When you’re writing prose, you don’t have any excuse so don’t do this.

The trans guy finding a bunch of ace bandages (or something similar) and using them to bind his chest

Yes, this is realistic. Yes, a lot of people do this, but it is an extremely unsafe way to bind. If your character binds, do your research. If they bind unsafely then SHOW THE NEGATIVE RESULTS of binding unsafely (difficulty breathing, cracked ribs, spinal problems, etc) they can be pretty severe. A lot of people don’t know how to bind and take cues from what they see in the media. Don’t perpetuate false information.

Nonbinary

[id: the nonbinary pride flag. /end id]

The nonbinary character has to be flatchested and vaguely masculine in order to be nonbinary

Nonbinary people are still nonbinary when they’re feminine. Nonbinary people are still nonbinary when they’re masculine. Please reflect this in your stories, as people take cues for how society works based off of the cumulation of the media they recieve.

Misgendering during an argument

This is actually really damaging to nonbinary people. What happens is that people see that it’s okay to misgender someone if they’re mad, when in reality, pronouns are a right, not a privilage to be stripped away whenever you get mad. If you were really mad at your country’s leader, you wouldn’t misgender them when you rant. You can hate them with all of your being and you probably still wouldn’t misgender them. Why is it any different with nonbinary people?

All the nonbinary people were AFAB (assigned female at birth)

It’s not inherantly wrong to have AFAB nonbinary folk in your story, but it is nice to see AMAB (assigned male at birth) nonbinary characters as well. There’s a lot less representation for them, so the more representation the better.

Being nonbinary is a phase - you’re actually binary trans or cisgender

Some people identify as nonbinary and do later find out that they identify more with a binary gender, but there’s also a lot of people who are just... nonbinary. It’s hugely dissapointing when a character that’s meant to be representation turns out to actually not be. Especially if they were the only nonbinary character.

Genderfluid/Genderflux

[id: two flags. the one on the top the genderfluid pride flag, and the one on the bottom is the genderflux pride flag /end id]

The one character in the background who’s genderfluid/genderflux in chapter three and then never seen ever again

Just include a genderfluid/genderflux character that’s actually relevant. It’s not that hard, and it’s really not that confusing. Their gender changes sometimes. They might switch their pronouns accordingly. 

The genderfluid character who’s short, vaguely masculine and has brightly died hair.

This one isn’t exactly offensive, per se, but it does feel like this is the only representation of a genderfluid character that I ever see, and that my friends ever see. Diversity is more than just having people who use different labels. It’s also about showing the different walks of life within those groups. There are a lot of genderfluid/flux people who don’t look like the stereotypical genderfluid/flux person, and they deserve representation just as much as everyone else.

The genderfluid character is the alien

This is a cop-out. It’s fine if you’ve got a race of genderfluid/flux aliens. Awesome, actually! Just add a genderfluid/genderflux human character too.

The genderfluid person who wakes up in the morning and “decides” if they’re going to be a boy or a girl today.

There are a couple things wrong with this. The first is that genderfluid people don’t just “decide” which gender they are. Their gender is more of it’s own entity. There’s not much of a choice with it. It just is.

From my own experience I can assure you that genderfluid people don’t just wake up in the morning with a random gender and then that’s their gender for the day. For me personally, my gender will change somewhere between once every three hours and once every three days, but it’s surprisingly rare that it’s overnight. It can even happen in the middle of conversations and stuff like that.

Genderfluid people don’t just switch between being a boy and being a girl. There’s a lot of space in between: nonbinary, maverique, agender, just to name a few.

Ace/Aro

[id: two pride flags. The one on top is an aromatic pride flag, and the bottom is an asexual pride flag. /end id]

The character’s horrible backstory turned them ace/aro

This is not to negate the fact that some people do identify as ace/aro after a traumatic event. That being said, most ace/aro people are just...ace or aro. There wasn’t any backstory. That’s just the way they are. Seeing that a lot more represented would be awesome.

The character’s got a mental illness because they’re ace/aro

Being ace/aro does not mean you have a mental illness. The idea that it does being spread through the media people consume is very harmful and it increases the stigma around being ace/aro, in a place where there really shouldn’t be. Yes you can have a mental illness and be ace/aro, but they’re not usually correlated.

The ace character can’t be ace because look they’ve got a partner!

Ace is short for asexual meaning you don’t feel any sexual attraction. That does not mean you can’t feel any romantic attraction. Therefore, your character can be hella ace and still have a partner that they’re romantically attracted to

If your character was aroace (a term that’s short for aromantic asexual), then they probably wouldn’t be interested in having a partner.

The character who’s aro/ace but then “finds the right person” right at the end

If they’re demisexual/demiromantic, then that’s different, but it does make it feel like the “flaw they were overcoming” was being ace/aro, and that’s both damaging to the community, and it’s also just dissapointing. There are a whole host of other flaws that your character could have that are much more worth the reader’s time.

[des-draws]

it's officially July but I'm still on pride mode!!! can't stop won't stop

Here are my lgbt+/queer hcs for class 1(g)A(y)!!! Here's what they are in case you don't recognize all of the flags (bc let's be real before I started coloring this I wouldn't recognize at least a few of them either ;^; ), strap in bc it's going to get l o n g:

(also they’re listed in the order they’re shown in the deviantart post rather than this one oop)

- Ojiro is trans!! I feel like he prefers being stealth but still celebrates with all his classmates because it's such a special occasion :') - Tooru is pan and a demigirl!!! It's her first pride and she's hyped!!!! And full of love!!!!! Love Is Stored In The Tooru!!! - Todoroki is a gay demiboy!! His trauma has made his experience with gender rather vague and blurry but he's still happy to have a label to somehow describe himself!! He's using End*vor's credit card to buy all of his friends pride merch!! - Midoriya is bi and trans!! He's been so happy to see his friends discover themselves and even more so to see them celebrating :') - Iida is bi!! As the second of the three members of the Rich Kids Club, he also wants to support and reaffirm his friends by buying them pride stuff!! - Kirishima is gay and trans!! I hc that he's been basically the class' go-to for gender identity/sexuality stuff bc he's been out-and-proud since Day 1 until pretty much everyone had a big coming-out ("I'm gay!" "Cool! I think I might be bi! :0c" "I...might...not be a girl???" "I'm pretty sure I'm [ace/genderfluid/etc.]" "What's that?" "Oh, it's [...]" "...might have to look into that. I think it might fit me too?" " :'D !!!!! " ) (he probably cried bc he was so proud of everyone) and then things calmed down a bit . He's a tinsy bit sad ppl no longer come to him for it but he pushes it down because he's just so!!!!!! happy to be surrounded by so many ppl like him!! - Bakugou is gay, trans and demisexual!! The last part was the hardest for him to figure out and he spent a lot of time being confused at other people, it was when Sero shared his own orientations that he thought maybe he wasn't as alone as he had thought :') - Uraraka is bi!! She's spent years thinking her crushes on girls were just her being jealous/wanting to be friends with them/not as important/stong as the crushes she's had on boys. She's getting over that internalized stuff now and I'm proud of her!! - Tsuyu is a trans girl and a lesbian!! She's been very open about wanting people to call her "Tsuyu-chan" because she chose that name herself!! And she's so happy that everyone here is supportive of her and each other!! - Yaomomo is also a lesbian!! This is her first pride, she's so excited to see all these people with different identities and experiences come together, and while she could easily create pride merch herself she much rather prefers supporing the indepentent LGBT+/Queer creators selling their own! (Hence why she bought two different variations of the lesbian flag for both her and Jirou!) (and probably many more of the stuff you see everyone wearing lol) - (Speaking of,) Jirou is also also a lesbian and also nonbinary!! Her only connection to girlhood is her love for other girls, but other than maybe updating her wardrobe a little she doesn't mind presenting femininely. - Sero is asexual, demiromantic and genderflux!! He's v. chill about everything, he probably found out and was like "Oh. Ok cool. I'm hungy" like he has a very laid-back attitude abt his identity/orientation but he Will defend his friends' to hell and back. Group mom heck yea - Kaminari is bi and nonbinary!! He was scared shitless to the point of losing sleep when he started figuring out that he miiiight like boys too, and even more so when he realised he might not even be a boy?? Thankfully being surrounded by so many supportive people (and having Kirishima as one of his closest and more trustworthy friends) helped him accept himself :') - Mina is pan and trans!! She's always been very open about being a Romantic™ but rather than being the Disaster Pan that gets flustered around everyone, she's the Disaster Pan that flirts shamelessly using Terrible pick up lines ("If we were dating...heh.....let's just say horses wouldn't be called horses anymore ;) " was the first ever thing she said to Kirishima, which earned her an extremely confused and somewhat flustered "I'm????ga y???? ???????" (it was the first time he'd admitted it out loud so he kinda thanks her for that) ) - Tokoyami is bi and trans!! A while back I read a fic that happened to have trans Tokoyami in it and was like "You know what. Yeah I can see it!" Emo culture is probably what helped him realize, with it playing around with and disregarding gender stereotypes and everything. - Aoyama is transmasculine, genderfluid and aromantic!! For the longest time he'd much rather have people mistake him for a feminine/gnc boy rather than a girl. It took him a while to come to terms with his aromanticism, since pretty much everyone expected him to be gay- he kinda expected it himself too, since he never liked girls that way, so?? But when he found out about the term "aromantic" it was like a weight lift off his shoulders. - Shoji is netrois and androsexual!! He knew he liked boys early but he's avoided dealing with figuring out his gender out of fear that he'd be disappointed- he's only ever seen nonbinary/genderqueer people depicted as androgynous and much smaller in stature than himself, so he thought he'd never fit. Seeing everyone else come out (especially the other nonbinary classmates of his), he stopped hesitating and starting working on coming to terms with himself!! - Satou is asexual and panromantic!! I don't really have much reasoning for this, I never really thought about it (or Satou himself) but when the time came to draw this I was like "Satou likes baking.....and puns are ace culture......FOOD PUNS!!! OF COURSE!!!" I'm sorry glkjhklhfdlkhj; - Koda is a trans boy!! He's had trouble recognizing it at the start because he's always been soft-spoken (almost nonverbal) and timid and kind, and """"those aren't traits of a boy""""" but he was so happy when he hit puberty and started growing So Much in stature due to his genes and people started "mistaking" him for a boy!! He came out to his parents almost immediately bc compassion and kindness seems to run in the family and he knew he'd be accepted even if they didn't completely understand!! He was more scared to come out to his classmates but when two, three, four of them come out and are accepted for being trans boys, he knows he'll be safe with them too. - And finally, last but not least, Aizawa is gay and trans!! He might act somewhat aloof about this stuff, but secretly he's very happy that his kids students all have eachother's support, and most of them their families'. Part of him is a little bitter and wishes he had the same kind of support system in their age, but he's going to be there for them if they need him nonetheless. He has his own support system now, and that matters a lot, too.

But wait!! There's M O R E !!!!! - I always love love LOVE how fanartists/editors give some of the characters more animal-like features, so I did that too!!! I went Full-on-Frog with Tsuyu (and I'm rather proud of how she came out (lol) ), but also I gave Mina some Sharp Chompers and a Fluffy lil' tail bc It's What She Deserves, and Ojiro a lil' toof poking out and ears that sharpen a lil bit at the tips? I hc that as he grows, other than his tail he'll start growing more animal features like that- sharper teeth, longer ears, claws and also, get ready.....pawbeans........the last ones give him Heck when they start growing out, and he needs his palms massaged at least once a day while they do :'( His legs get weird too and they end up looking more like a wolf's back legs :0c - I gave a lot of them freckles!!!! bc I Love Freckles!!!!!! also, as my sister very eloquently pointed out, I gave Uraraka "A R M S,,,,," bc. let's be honest. the girl got martial training she's not a twig - Sero is holding the polyamorous flag behind himself, Kaminari and Mina bc.. u guessed it,, they're all dating each other,,,,, lotsa smooches and cuddling and shenanigans bc there's only maybe one(1) braincell between the three of them and most of the time sero has it - Todoroki, Midoriya, Iida, Kirishima, Bakugou, Tsuyu, Yaomomo, Koda and Aizawa are also autistic. Yes all of them. No I won't explain. (unless you ask in good faith and want to share your own hcs pls ask me then I'll explain everything and you can expect it to be as long as this description!!!!!) (I might draw something about it when it's April again maybe *thinking emoji* ) - Oh!!! and Tooru, Kaminari and Mina are ADHD. Kirishima is also dyslexic. - Bakugou has been losing his hearing ever since he entered U.A.- sure he's always used his quirk but never freely to that extend and with so much power behind it, so getting into fight after fight with such close proximity to explosions that big really did a number on his ears. He can hear a little better with the right one than the left, so Kirishima has gotten used to walking by his right side before his custom hearing aids came in, and then just stuck to that. Bakugou's custom hearing aids block out any noise above a certain volume bc let's assume technology has advanced to do that. When he and Kirishima started thinking about working together as heroes even after they graduate, Bakugou requested custom ear protectors with similar block-out features as his hearing aids for Kirishima so his ears aren't damaged by working so close to Bakugou (Kirishima cried). - I'm actually quite flexible on which of the two I hc as trans, or if I hc both of them to be. The "both gay + demi Bkg" is pretty set in my interpretation of them, but I find it interesting how their friendship/relationship could manifest and grow somewhat differently depending on if both of them are trans or if only one of them (and depending on which one of them it is). They're still the same loud rowdy boyes we know and love but there's different conversations to have and difficulties to tackle between them based on that factor alone, and frankly? I Adore It.

Okay that's all!!!! I think. Thanks for reading, if you did!! And if not, I completely understand lol

I hope you had a great pride month!!

[desolate-smog]

For Want of a Rainbow

Boku no Hero Academia, gen fic, 830 words

read on ao3!

Summary: 1-A may have been some of the sweetest students Hizashi's ever had the pleasure to teach, but did they have to make him reconsider his worldview all the time?

If Hizashi had known he would leave work with a minor existential crisis he would have stocked up on ice cream.

Unfortunately, he did not have a foresight quirk—and he’d missed his last large shopping trip on top of that—so there wasn’t any comfort food in the house.

He’d kidnapped Shouta and Nemuri as he left school that day, determined to share his suffering around as much as possible. They tended to eat everything and anything, so perhaps his lack of food was for the best.

Hizashi’s current existential problems lay at the feet of 1-A, as most problems seemed to this year. It may have been unintentional (this time), but the implications haunted him. His mind was working overtime to try and figure out how to proceed, how to fix a problem that had appeared seemingly from nowhere; but the more he thought about it the more he realised the problem had always been present. No more. It was time to stand up for what was right. Not only was that his duty as a hero and a teacher, but as a human being.

It was easy to see his friends’ growing frustration as Hizashi herded them onto his couch.

“Hizashi, I have a patrol.” Shouta protested.

Hizashi held up a hand. “Hear me out, listeners. How many LGBT heroes do we know?”

Shouta and Nemuri shared a mutual glance. They both looked back at him with varying levels of suspicion.

“Got your eye on someone, Zashi~?” Nemuri purred.

Hizashi didn’t have time to play along. “That could not matter less right now. How many?”

“Most heroes we know are in some way.” Shouta said. “Why?”

“How many of them are out to the public?”

“We work with Thirteen.” Shouta replied, unimpressed.

Nemuri nodded and went to continue on, but Hizashi interrupted. “Yeah! Let’s just consider our co-workers! There’s Thirteen. Who else?”

“I’ve never hidden anything,” Nemuri shrugged.

“I’ve never hidden that I’m asexual either,” Hizashi said. “But are we out?”

“Cut to the chase, Hizashi.” Shouta grumbled.

Hizashi frowned. “I’m not going to out any students, but I overheard a concerning conversation today. They thought I was gone, I couldn’t leave—very stressful. Anyway, a student came out to their friends as bigender, everyone was accepting; it was heartwarming, yo.”

“But?”

“They were discussing if they’d ever be able to be a hero and be out to the public without backlash.” Hizashi waved his hand about as he tried to express himself. “There was more to it but that’s the basics of it.”

“It wouldn’t stop them from being a hero.” Shouta said.

“It might, if they didn’t trust their peers,” Nemuri hummed.

“That’s not the point. The point is that they don’t have enough role models.” Hizashi said, counting off on his fingers. “The point is that they don’t feel safe. The point is that we need to be more open about this.”

“What are you saying?” Shouta squinted at him.

“I’m saying,” Hizashi said, grinning widely and finger gunning at his friends. “We have some planning to do.”

~~~~

Hizashi tilted his head back and cackled at the state of UA as he walked through. It was a mind melting assortment of colours, flags, and banners. Each classroom had a different flag painted on the door, the halls were the soft pastel colours associated with the trans flag, and the outside of the building was striped with the rainbow. Hizashi had to call in a few favours to find someone that could change the colour of glass but he couldn’t deny the effectiveness of the end result.

Nedzu had approved of their chaos, saying something about social status and opinion polls. The real important fact was that UA was now blatantly and openly an eyesore of pride.

“Looking good, Mic!” Nemuri whistled at him.

He turned his smile at her and received a wicked grin in return.

Nemuri’s contribution to the pridepocalypse were the flags pinned to the teachers. These flags were personal to each individual; Hizashi was sporting the ace flag across his shoulder blades and bisexual tinting on his glasses. Nemuri had the trans and lesbian flags across her costume. He’d seen some of the other teachers with their flags too; from Nedzu’s non-binary and Cementoss’ genderflux, to Snipe’s pan and Recovery Girl’s aromantic. Each new flag made Hizashi buzz slightly with excess energy.

“Oi,” Shouta called from ahead of them, his gay button on display. Hizashi also knew Shouta had the demiboy flag across his back.

“Oh, we’re coming,” Nemuri rolled her eyes.

“Students are already arriving,” Shouta said, then scowled at the closest window. “Reporters, too.”

“Ooh, exciting,”

“Let’s go get our pride on, listeners!”

Shouta sighed heavily and Nemuri cheered.

Hizashi just hoped that this would be enough to make things better for the coming generation. He grinned and hummed happily to himself as he settled more into his hero persona.

At the very least the ramifications would be colourful.

[queer-coupon]

All of the even numbers for the question list, my dude. - Wine

You came here for my blood and you got it

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be? I would go to that island in Japan that is inhabited almost entirely by cats and never leave

4. what is your favorite constellation, why? Big n Lil Dipper because I naturally have the B in freckles on my arm and my sister @puns-in-a-jar has the L in freckles on her opposite arm.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?Yes.   

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?I do practice magic actively, but if we’re talking fantasy magic I’d learn how to do instant glamours so that me and all my trans and enbie pals could look however we want at any given moment.   

10. have you ever been cheated on? Not that I know of?????

12. favorite animal. All of them.

14. do you believe in soul mates? I do, but I also believe we all have many soulmates that fulfill us in different ways.

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.My mother’s kitchen. Mama Noodles. (but for real I switch up my eat-out places all the time I don’t really have a fav)   

18. guilty pressures? I have no guilt over my pleasures

20. something most people don’t know about you. I used to sleep on my dad’s livingroom floor for fun. Like. I had a good bed and my own floor, I just like the livingroom floor.

22. do you believe aliens exist? IM STORMING AREA 51

24. what did your last relationship teach you?The pursuit of happiness in pleasing others is a futile one and will ultimately lead to ruin and loss of self.

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy? Depends on the crime. I hold no grudge against animals, humans, however, I will destroy.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert? If you speak to me in real life I instantly dissolve into the earth.

30. top 5 favorite movies. Spirited Away, Across the Universe, Third Star, What We Do In The Shadows, aaaand slot number 5 changes on like a biyearly basis?????

32. what is your greatest fear? Having only my faults and misdeeds remembered, both in life and death.

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done. I don’t have shame, embarrassment doesn’t apply to me. I did wet myself in front of 300 people once though.

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality? I’m a Leo, and I’m a Leo.

38. are you a good liar?

40. would you rather go without your phone or music? I choose death.

42. how do you relax when frustrated? I.... I just kind of stew until I either fall asleep or leave my body.

44. favorite food E-Ev e r.. y. F o Od?> ???

46. when do you feel the most confident? When I look like a genderflux punk clown god tbh

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respectYO I AINT GOT TIME FOR THAT LIST   

50. did/do you play sports in school? I played basketball and lacrosse for a while, but I got shinsplints and kinda gave up because it’s like eight billion times easier to hurt myself by running now

52. coffee or tea?Coffee oh gods please just give me coffee

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?The way they look at me. Warm, friendly, conniving, dangerous, etc; it decides how I handle the rest of our interaction.

56. what makes you laugh?Honestly? Like, the dumbest memes you can possibly find. Comedy. Gold.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?Communication, sure, but also respect?? Like? People don’t talk about how important it is to respect your partner/partners need for time alone, and to respect their right to not talk if they don’t feel up to it?

60. favorite holiday?I really like Halloween/Samhain because GHOSTS and also FOOD

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?Hell fire and brimstone (I honestly just really enjoy spicy pizza, give me jalapenos and pain)

64. how are you? honestly.Fluctuating wildly and aggressively between manic as fuck and clipping through the floor with a fried graphics card.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?I want to be a 300 year old bog witch you tell me

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?The absence of human intervention

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?Dude What The Fuck, Not In A Graveyard

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?Bedazzling your backpack and twist braiding your hair with beads as a white kid.

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?Dude I don’t even know, do you know how many documentaries and documinis I’ve seen? I don’t even know what year it is.

74. what do you like to cook?I, uh, well. INstant. Noodles?

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?Hard gamble between Brooklyn 99 and Final Space

78. what is your favorite quote?“The only person stopping you is you.” -MeYeah I made my own favourite quote, what fist fight about it?

80. what’s your love language?Im. Hm. Greyromantic, so. That’s that on that I guess.

82. ever been bullied?Me? A nonbinary wiccan lesbian that spent my entire middle and highschool career quoting anime and drawing furries? No, never.

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?LITERALLY. ALL. ART. EVERY KIND. LOVE IT. BEAUTIFUL. EVERYONE IS SO TALENTED

[lesakuraciel]

trans ask game!

original by @solareclipselgbt

1.) what’s your gender and pronouns?

nb and they/them!

2.) what does your name mean (either literally, or to you personally)

i don't feel a particular connection to my birth name, though it is based off anna karenina (it's anna corinne), but i've been toying w the idea of going by ashe... obv it's based on the tree but to me it means walking through a dappled forest near the end of winter, timeless and strange and perfect

3.) when and how did you realize you were trans?

not entirely sure, def after i figured out i wasn't straight(which was aug. 2016), but as far as accepting my place under the /trans/ flag (i knew i was nb, but was still hesitant bc of the people against enbys iding as trans), that didn't happen until like. end of last year,

4.) what was the most helpful in figuring out and accepting yourself as trans?

my trans friends definitely!! and also doing a report on enbys in the trans community, and subsequently finding what, the white stripe means, i still have trouble asking people who already know me to use they/them though,, (i still say she/her is fine even though it's kinda not)

5.) have you or do you plan on medically transitioning?

i do plan to get top surgery! and soon, hopefully!!! other than that, i eventually want a hysterectomy, but no hrt

6.) what’s something you’re most looking forward to in your transition (or something that was your favorite part of transitioning)?

no! boobs! i hate them!! and not having to wear extra layers (read: binder) in summerr

7.) do you have dyed hair?

sjsjsnd yea it's dark blue right now don't think /that's/ natural lmao i even have The Haircut (tm)

8.) who was the first person you came out to (or plan to come out to)?

i'm pretty sure it was my good friend henry!! i mean, he also basically told me i wasn't straight cause i wouldn't admit it :'>

9.) what’s your favorite season?

fall!! so many pretty colors and finally, appropiate weather for the jackets i wear year-round,

10.) have you ever been to pride?

yep! i went to pride for the first time in tacoma last year!! (plan to go to the seattle one this year)

11.) if you’re on hrt, what changes suprised you the most?

not on hrt!

12.) what gives you the most gender euphoria?

oh being called "sir" definitely, and a xloae second is when strangers use they/them to refer to me!

13.) do you have a specific piece of clothing thats especially gender affirming to you?

hmm i mean my binder obv but other than that, certain shirts when i bind? idk they just Do(tm)

14.) what’s your favorite trans joke or meme?

friend who is very comfortable in their identity: talks abt someone not realizing and being transphobic around them/other people not knowing how trans things work/etc.

(sarcasm) wow i can't believe you're really a cishet

15.) if you’ve had any gender affirming surgeries, how was your experience? what are the biggest positive effects?

not had surgery yet, but kaiser permanante has been great so far in working w me !!!

16.) do you have any piercings?

haha just one in each ear, and i basically never use those

17.) who’s your favorite trans character? or do you have any characters you headcanon as trans?

we stan lup from taz in this house

other than that, i hc a lot of characters as trans! e.x. bakugo, todoroki, and kirishima (bnha), snufkin (moomins), indrid and angus (taz), and like, a lot more,,

18.) what do you wish other people understood better about being trans?

just. it's okay to ask pronouns. god

better to ask than to assume

also use context clues, jesus (like if someone isn't out, they may switch to a diff name for some people. never use it unless they ask you to)

19.) top 5 fav songs?

bohemian rhapsody - queen

oi - carbon leaf

light in the hallway - ptx

ocean city - anthony ramos (this isn't anywhere but soundcloud but it's So Good???? go listen)

wait for it - hamilton soundtrack

20.) what advice would you give your younger self?

you can be more assertive about being trans, most people are good abt it and those who aren't can learn or fuck right off

21.) do you have any pets?

yep! my baby, friend

and my doggo, kody!

22.) do you find yourself fitting into gender roles, or consider yourself gender non-conforming?

def gnc!! i like to be androgynous, whixh usually means wearing masc clothes bc i still present fem, somehow,

23.) are you part of your schools gsa or any lgbt organizations?

nope! i prefer to make friends by just chatting, and they usually end up being non-cishwt anyhow lmao

24.) any trans role models?

not really tbh, i see a lot of people that i want to emulate, but i can't think of any in particular atm.

now that i think abt it though, my friend henry has been a sort of guiding light in figuring out, accepting, and then loudly proclaiming my identity, bc i've def come a long way since sophomore year! (if you're reading this, thank u henry)

25.) did you go through multiple gender identities before figuring out your gender now?

yep! i id'ed as genderflux very shortly, then demigirl for a long time, and finally nb/genderqueer!

26.) what makes you most proud to be part of the trans community?

it's so positive and uplifting!! i love that people are just, kind to others that's v nice

27.) favorite movie growing up?

princess bride was and is my favorite movie, but mulan was my fav disney movie and well, if that was someone's fav movie and they ended up cishet? i'd be surprised

28.) if you went by multiple names before deciding your current name, which was the first?

n/a

29.) do you have any pride merch or pride related tattoos?

i have a rainbow flag (handheld) on my bookshelf, and a genderqueer one behind my bed (big)! i also have a trans flag shawl that i made, pan flag converse, several pride shirts, and a pride hat! i'm not shy about letting everyone know i'm neither straight nor cis lmao

30.) if you experience dysphoria, what do you find helps you the most?

binding definitely helps! i get mild dysphoria wearing anything other than a binder or sports bra, and also on my period :/

31.) do you have any siblings, friends, or family who are also trans?

@dorkryptos is my friend and so is henry!! none of my family is though ):

32.) which gender roles or cis beliefs do you find most ridiculous?

nail polish is feminine?? deodorant and razors are gendered???? flowy things are feminine????? guys can't have style beyond Tux(tm)????????????????? fuck all that noise

35.) if cis people didn’t exist for a day, what would you do?

33.) how did you decide on your current name?

go out and make some new friends! ^^

34.) do you fit any trans stereotypes?

i have dyed hair and That haircut, i'm fairly short and afab, i mostly wear ""masc"" clothes, i'm in high school, etc. etc.

ahah, i didn't? but w ashe i wanted smthn with the same initial, old-timey, and connected to nature

only like, every single trans nb stereotype,

[streaks-of-lavender]

Fander Pride Meet Up Entry

Hello! Spoonfullofcrofters here! You can call me pretty much whatever, some know me as Adrian, some Quinn, a lot of people just call me Carrot based on my email address. I am a genderfluid, aroflux bisexual. He/him or they/them pronouns, please.

I first realised that I was bisexual in 9th grade, when I came across the term on BuzzFeed. Ever since I was little there had been signs that I didn’t know how to recognise. Or maybe I was too scared. Because I didn’t know you could be bisexual. As in, I didn’t think it was physically possible. It had to be one or the other, no in between at all. I wasn’t biphobic or anything, just ignorant. No one had ever even said the word “bisexual” to me before. I didn’t know it existed. As far as I knew, it was gay or straight, that was it. And so for a long time it terrified me to no end. I knew I wasn’t gay. I’d liked guys before, I was attracted to guys, so I couldn’t possibly be gay. Right? For a long time I was in denial. I tried to ignore that part of me, tried to pretend it didn’t exist. It was around when I started high school that I couldn’t ignore it anymore. It demanded to be acknowledged. There had been so many little things. The “boy” I saw one day in fourth grade and thought was cute, until they turned around and I realised it was a girl, but I still thought she was cute. That time I was watching a show and a character that hadn’t been seen for a while showed up, and my first thought was, “Damn, she got hot.” That one shook me up for a good two days. The time I said to my mother, when she asked, “IDK. Either one, I guess, it doesn’t really matter.” I legitimately said to my mother “Could be either, I don’t care” and still thought I was straight. Currently laughing at baby bisexual me. Then one night I was killing time on BuzzFeed, and I saw an article about problems bisexual people have. I’m not sure what compelled me to click on it, but I did. I read it. Then all the comments. Then searched BuzzFeed for more, and when I’d read everything, proceeded to Google. I’ll admit I was a bit in shock. Suddenly here was a word, here were people like me, here was the answer I’d been searching for. It didn’t take me long to start calling myself bi. It was something I’d always been, no matter how much I tried to repress it. The only difference was that now it had a name. My gender identity was a much more complicated process.

As did my sexuality crisis, my gender crisis began on the internet, on YouTube this time. I was watching Mileschronicles. His old version of the gender tag, to be specific. He said something along the lines of, “I don’t feel entirely like a girl, but I don’t really feel any pressure to figure out what else I feel like, either.” I thought, “What’s the big deal? No one feels completely girly all of the time. Mostly it’s just kind of meh.” and then I thought, “Wait.” That was that door open now. This, however, was not nearly as easy and clear cut as the end of my straight phase had been. I was terrified and shocked and uncertain. How could I not be a girl? I’d always been a girl! Sure, most of the time I wasn’t the most feminine person, but that didn’t mean I was a boy or anything! As per usual, I took to the internet for answers. I learned about all sorts of identities. Nonbinary, agender, bigender, demigender, genderflux. I could never seem to settle on one, though. Ironically, the one I never really looked into was genderfluid, because I thought, “no, that’s definitely not it.” Currently facepalming, brb. Part of the reason I was having such a hard time was my uncertainty. This was uncharted territory here. Sure, my mom and brother were both gay, but this was completely new. Was it true? Was I lying? Could I be making it up? Then I found a tumblr post saying, “If you have to ask, then the answer is probably yes,” which helped. The other issues was that I couldn’t pin it down. I’d find one thing that felt right and go, “Oh, this must be it!” But then a few days later it would feel wrong again. At the time I thought I was faking it. Now I realise it was just changing. It took me a lot of reflection and more than a few all-nighters to start really understanding and becoming comfortable with it. Suddenly so many things made sense. Why I was so much more bothered than all the other girls during our fourth grade Human Growth and Development unit. Why when I’d go shopping to buy clothes for a chorus concert, the thought of having to wear a dress made me so uncomfortable, but a few nights later I would be longing to pull out the skirt buried in the back of my closet. Why every little part of puberty felt so utterly wrong. I didn’t want to start wearing that awful flowery deodorant my mother wanted me to. I didn’t want to wear a bra. And I did NOT want to get my period. The first few times I had it were awful. I was mortified. I was shocked. I wanted to hide under the covers until the sun went away. At the time I think it was because I thought I was too young, but looking back, there was more to it. This bone deep sense of NO, WRONG, THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN, THIS IS NOT ME. I would get so confused when sometimes I would be watching someone like Zoella on YouTube and it would leave me feeling absurdly feminine, wanting to run around the room and scream at the top of my lungs, “I’m a girl!!” which never made sense, because of course I was. What else would I be? Genderfluid, that’s what. At the time I just had no idea.

That was almost two years ago now. Things were rough at times, but I’ve been blessed with the most understanding and supportive family in the world, the best possible friends, and probably the best possible environment, and I am so happy. My parents accepted me as soon as they got over their initial shock. My friends made adjustments without batting an eye. My teachers started using my new name without question when the guidance counselor emailed them. Sure, things might have been a bit hard at first, but I’m doing okay. For the first time in forever I feel like I’m going to be alright. And potential reader, whatever you’re going through right now, you’ll be alright too. If you need it I’ll be here to support you every step of the way. Take it easy, guys, gals, and nonbinary pals (I’ve always wanted to say that). <3

[starberryhearts]

Uuuuhhh I hope this isn’t too straight forward but am I still cis if it feels uncomfortable when other people refer to me as a woman/girl/lady? This is confusing and nothing really feels right 😓

No worries at all anon! What you’re describing sounds a lot like a common trans feeling. That being said, I have heard that many cis women have complicated relationships with femininity and womanhood (not that femininity and womanhood are inherently related). I’m not an expert on feminism though, so it might be a good idea to look into other sources about this kind of thing.

This might sound a little disheartening, and I totally understand. When I first started exploring my gender, I asked similar questions of “hey it Feels Bad when people identify me by my Assigned Gender At Birth... what does that mean?” Although I was knee deep in a local trans community and unknowingly surrounded by trans friends and family members, the best answer people could give me was “I don’t know, what do you think?” which at the time felt like the worst possible response to get ever. I was surrounded by trans people, I even went to a trans conference (!!) surely someone could give me The Answer, right??

The problem was, gender is messy and complicated and has to be contextualized under a lot of factors. (Depending on what culture you are from I would suggest looking into culturally specific genders to see if maybe one of those labels fits you better - again not well versed in this either but perhaps it could be useful)

Realizing I was trans... took a while. And after realizing I Wasn’t Cis, it took about 4 more years for me to find a label that fit me (and who knows how long that label will fit me for!) Heck, I’m genderflux and sometimes I don’t even know what gender I’m experiencing that day. Although I can’t give you a straight answer of “you’re trans!!” or “oops all cis” I can give you some advice for how you can begin to look within yourself and start to untangle your gender.

1. Get a support group!

Support groups have helped me more than anything in figuring out What’s Going On In There. This support group could consist of anyone! Whether this is a support group that has already existed like a local town’s trans support group, or one you make on your own full of friends, family members, partners, whoever you choose. There might be other support group options I haven’t even thought of! But the point still stands. Some people know their gender right away, and I applaud them, but it’s not a universal experience. For me (also not a universal experience) it’s taken a lot of time and energy to figure out what’s going on, and I’ve faced a lot of setbacks along the way. Having a support group helps build up your stamina and can replenish your energy when you’re having a really rough gender day. Of course I feel lucky to be able to say this, but don’t worry about being too selective when picking who is part of your support group. These people should be folks who you can fall back on and trust. If you know someone who’s like cool but they’re kind of a dick about gender?? Listen they can be your friend if you want, sure, but I’d suggest not making them a part of your support group.

2. Learn to be patient

Or if you’re like me and being patient suuuucks, find ways to reward and distract yourself with how long it’s taken to figure out your gender. Maybe you’ll get a prophetic dream that tells you what your gender is in a clear-cut way which would be SO COOL, but it’s also highly unlikely. Prepare for this to take a little while to figure out, and then if you’ve found you overestimated how long it would take you’ll be pleasantly surprised by your own clarity! To be honest, I highly doubt I’m at the end of discovering my gender. Knowing your gender takes time, so reward yourself for every little bit of progress you make. Did you read an article about common trans feelings? Great job! Time for a reward! Keep the process of learning about your gender fun and exciting and well paced (!!) , because trust me it is 5 times harder to get anywhere if you treat self exploration like a full time job and just the thought of it makes you feel shitty. You may hit that point for a while, I know I have, but love yourself when you can.

3. Examining your gender is not just for Trans people

For a while I was like “oh no I can’t explore my gender because what if I really am cis?? Isn’t that insensitive to trans people??” Listen. Exploring your relationship with gender will benefit you regardless of whether you are Trans or cis. Just because someone is cis, it doesn’t mean they inherently know or understand their gender. Let this be a time of personal growth, no matter what you learn about yourself!

4. Learn to sort your information

Maybe you already do this, in which case great!! But it’s important for me to remind you that many people think they’re right when they’re wrong (one of my best skills if you ask me!), and some people will spread hate and misinformation knowingly and purposefully. This is a fact. They will also sound like they are right, because confidence sells. This is not to say “if you think you’re trans you’re wrong!!” To be honest if you think you’re trans (or wish you were trans) you’re probably trans. However, throughout my gender exploration there have been people who have both intentionally and unintentionally, in-person and over the internet, tried to lead me astray. They have misinformed me and they have made me afraid to question my gender. This is why support groups are so important. It is also why it’s important to learn what someone’s intent is behind what they tell you, and whether or not they’re reliable. Someone who openly hates trans people is not going to be a good source for educating yourself on trans issues for sure, but trans people who mean well can also have internalized transphobia (essentially society teaching us to hate ourselves. You might also want to look into internalized misogyny if you think some of this is coming from hating yourself for being a woman, if you do happen to be a woman). Try to gravitate towards people who are reliable and confident in who they are. I have found these are the people who are least likely to spread hurtful misinformation. Sorting information is not creating an echo chamber, it is life saving preventative health care. Although holding yourself accountable is important, putting your health first while exploring your gender is a must.

Also, I’m not sure if this will help, but I answered a similar ask a while ago, linked below:

https://scarlettsbearhugs.tumblr.com/post/189985272693/hey-i-always-see-you-reblogging-stuff-about-being

Regardless of whether or not you’re trans, I’m glad you’re trying to learn more about yourself, and I’m glad that you trusted me with this topic! If you have any more questions feel free to send another ask. I’m always happy to talk about gender, even if these posts are like 20 pages long.

You can do it!!

Scarlett🍓