#“My imaginary friend and I can't recommend it enough”

[narbevoguel]

I think Age of Calamity is my therapy. I thought deleting my savefile would make me sad about losing my progress, but it made me happy to have incentive to go through all of it again.

5 hour session of AoC, and I forget why I'm sad, I stop playing, the sadness crawls back in. Should I see a therapist?

[francisballerhide]

An older viewer's perspective on I Saw The TV Glow

(content warning: discussion of spoilers, depression and suicidal themes.)

x-posted from the subreddit of the same name.

I am a queer, non-gender conforming (back in the day we said "genderqueer") person in their late 40s. I saw this the day before yesterday. I'm about five years or so older than the main characters (Owen and Maddy.) The equivalents to "The Pink Opaque" for my friend group that were on TV when we were the same age as the characters were Liquid TV and/or the 1992-era X Men cartoon (so as you can imagine, I've been ecstatic about the X Men 97 revival.) We were also obsessed with the film The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai: Across The Eighth Dimension.

I liked Buffy, but I was already in my 20s when it was airing.

And woah, this movie is very powerful and made me feel all sorts of things.

Like Maddy, I experienced a "break from reality" in my 20s. And I was deadset on finding someone to go on that "break" with me, to experience a folie à deux with, I guess. To help me validate that the imaginary world I was living in was "the real world," and the outside world where I was expected to "get a job and be a productive member of society" was fake.

I know in the context of the film, it's supposed to be implied that Maddy's story is true. She is really Tara, and Owen is really Isabel. But as someone who has been through something very much like Maddy describes (apart from the "being buried alive" part) it was difficult for me not to see Maddy as someone who did exactly what I did - who rejected reality as it is, and tried to check out from it completely.

But also, it's easy to see what Maddy ended up doing as a metaphor for attempted suicide - and that she might have been trying to talk Owen into going along with her on a second attempt, together, when the first attempt failed. And this may have been how Owen saw it, when he rejected it.

Because for me, adulthood felt the same way. You get a job. You try and fit in, or at least fly under the radar. It's not what you want to do - but society is constantly telling you, pressuring you, hassling you, that it's what you should be doing, what you need to do. Maybe you meet someone and settle down, maybe you don't. Maybe you have kids, and maybe you don't.

But one year passes, and then another. And then five years. And then a decade. And then three decades have gone by. And you don't feel it. It's just like skipping forward to the next scene on a DVD. And then you're old, and wondering where your life has gone. You haven't been living your real life.

And the thoughts running through your mind go: "This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. This wasn't how things were supposed to be. This wasn't supposed to be my life. What happened to my life?"

And as someone with left-of-center politics and a not-always stable mental state, I think: "how much of this is down to reality being screwed up, how much of this is down to us living in a "Black Iron Prison"-style reality construct; and how much of this can be blamed on "late stage" or "end stage" capitalism, which never allows people who exist outside of a certain tax bracket to self-actualize at all?

What if it is "just the suburbs?"

The answer is to try and live your truth and be your authentic self, no matter what is going on in the world outside of that - no matter how difficult the world makes it. But not everyone is strong enough, or has the psychological tools to find their way to that.

I think I need to go back and watch this film again.

I also would like to recommend Matrix Resurrections to anyone who was bummed out by the end of I Saw The TV Glow, for what happens when the person who has been insisting "that beautiful, powerful person can't be me" suddenly decides to be that, anyway.

[willibeest]

RECOMMENDATION OF THE HOUR (07/2024)

The Imaginary. Directed by Yoshiyuki Momose, performance by Kokoro Terada, Studio Ponoc, 2023.

I heard the dude from The Office was working on a movie just like this one, but for some reason it didn't catch my eye like this one did.

Would you believe me if I said The Imaginary is the first Japanese animated feature I ever watched? I grew up in an era where studios like Ghibli were heralded as some of the greatest visionaries, and yet I never had the privilege to watch any of them. When I learned this movie was directed by a certified Ghibli alum, I knew I had to give this one a shot.

The Imaginary is a story about Rudger, a young boy who's the imaginary friend of an elementary school girl. He's still able to exist while the girl is away from him, but nobody else is able to see him. What happens, however, when an imaginary friend can't be imagined anymore?

I'm sure it's safe to assume this movie isn't as remarkable as some of the other masterpieces that came before it, but I was still floored by how beautiful it was. The warm colors, the expressive movements, and the wacky characters were enough to make me happy. However, this movie doesn't hold back from getting heavy when it needs to be. The Imaginary was still able to make me want to tear up.

Honorable mentions:

Close Encounters of the Third Kind - Steven Spielberg

Jaws - Steven Spielberg

Inception - Christopher Nolan

Burn After Reading - Joel and Ethan Coen

[adventuringinside2023]

Day 0: Research Day

And so today begins my journey into the tulpamancer community. I discovered the whole concept of tulpas a few months ago, but I never really looked into it much at all and just had the r/Tulpas tab bookmarked for whenever I thought it looked interested enough to check out again. Oh man, I can't even express how fascinated I was.

Having an imaginary friend that's become *sentient* and thinks all on its own? Now who WOULDN'T be at least a little bit curious about how that even happens? After reading a few posts made by the people on that subreddit, I began to wonder how just a simple person like me could do the exact same thing and dived right in.

I might make a summary about everything I've learned from reading guides, tutorials, experiences, anything I could possibly get some information about these beings from. To put it pretty simply, a tulpa is a thing you create in your mind from your subconscious and, as you start to talk to it more and more like a real person, it'll actually answer back. Without you even thinking about it.

At this point, I didn't even think it was something I wanted to get into myself and was just looking things up about it for the fun of it. After getting deeper into what the community had to offer, I saw some people talking about the tulpas made by people in the MLP community (mostly in a REALLY bad light-). So I set off to figure out what it was all about. That's when I discovered the progress blog of "Koomer", a notorious tulpamancer who gave his body up for his tulpa named Oguigi. I read it all from beginning to end, being intrigued by his mention of "reckless posessing" in one of his latest posts.

What I found in there...shook me to my core. Made me feel real fear.

I won't say anything else about it in case any of you want to read it for yourself, but I hope that can at least give you an idea of what you're in for with that blog. The archived link to his blog can be found here, I recommend going in order for the best experience:

You know, I thought it would've convinced me to not get into any of this stuff but...it just makes me more interested to see where this could possibly go if I tried. I wanted to see if I could do it better, or far worse than most people, maybe even lose myself like Koomer. I really wouldn't know the answer to that until I tried, so I set out to make my own tulpa and never looked back.

[mseirtaku]

I'm sure you'll get a fair few Hetagame developers chiming in with some of the same hetagames I'll be suggesting, but I figure I'd put down as much as I can think of off the top of my head!

[ 'The Classics' ]

HetaOni by Tomoyoshi

RomaHeta by Tomoyoshi

Dreamtalia by Kyokoon64

Escape from Siberia by Miryuha

HetaHospital by Atomic-Crayon

Imaginary Nightmare by KingDespair

Hetalia Islands by Jezzica95

Hetapocalypse by Schwer-von-Begriff

These next Hetagames aren't as old as The Classics, but they're still pretty iconic within the Hetagame community.

[ 'The Well-Known' ]

England's Disappearance by Maggy-Neworld

Lincantropo by Itou Itsuki

HetaFire by LeanneVlogzFilmz

Home by angel-of-britannia

HetaGeist by Atomic-Crayon

Hetalia Floral Orchestra by Dream-thunder

HetaFear by Atomic-Crayon

Project Espanya by Quasi-Harkness

HetaOrigin: Redraw the World

Now, these games are more recent, but these are what I would consider to be the modern classics. Hetagames has come a long way since then!

[ 'Modern Classics' ]

48 Hours by BlueLobsters

HetaIpseity by Lilica

Mnemophobia by Asahi

My Friends Invited Me To Go Camping But My Only Experience Is Reading Guidebooks by DeathSquadOfficial

Shadowtalia by Rvi (Russia-Vi)

And because I love promoting my friends' stuff, a list of recommendations:

[ Eir's Favourite Games ]

The Lion's Path by Hebigami-Okami

Child's Garden by DeathSquadOfficial

Monochromes by Resoyani

Freedom by MapleSweater

Hungary? Like, I'm Hungry? by Resoyani

Judge, Jury and Executioner by BlueLobsters

Late For A Very Important Date by FandomDrowning

Hetà by Acquazzone (Tbh, I like ironically lol)

Naturally... I can't possibly list every Hetagame in existence, nor do you have to play all of them. I wish I could give exposure to every single Hetagame dev out there! But yeah, these are my 2 cents to this post, and I hope it was helpful enough~

Poll??? Open ended hetagame poll???

Hey guys! So I'm currently writing a series of video essays meant to be a retrospective on Hetalia and its fandom, and the first video is about Hetagames. I intend on playing and reviewing 10+ popular Hetagames, and I want a general consensus on what you guys think the most popular/influential hetagames are! Thanks in advance!

[masturbucky]

The Intruder

DARK!Winter Soldier x fem!reader

Summary: You had issues with sleeping for the past two weeks. You wake up every night and you swear you can feel someone's staring from the shadows, but there's no one, and you know it's your imagination. Sometimes you feel touches. When you're tired of your mind tricks, you start taking those sleeping pills. It's good for you, and for the man who watches your sleep every night, too. But you dont need to know that. You need to sleep.

WARNINGS: DARK REALLY DARK PLEASE BE AWARE(!!!), Smut, Somnophilia, NON-CONSENSUAL EVERYTHING, AGAIN IT'S A FUCKING RAPE, Obsessive behavior, unprotected p in v, WS basically romanticizes from his sick point what he does to you, no y/n, literally NO comfort, creampie, marking, a bit of knife play(he tears your shirt off and touches you with a knife a bit), a lot of mentions of death by WS, choke kink if you squint, dacryphilia if you squint, what else? ENGLISH IS NOT MY NATIVE LANGUAGE! Also I kinda forgot to post it when I finished it and so i remembered only like an hour ago, changed some stuff a bit, but grammar errors are still on the table yk. Also, YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU READ. I'M NOT YOUR DADDY I CAN'T TELL YOU SHIT, I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE A MINOR, IT'S YOUR PROBLEM.

You sigh, dropping your bag on the couch while slipping out of your shoes on the way to the kitchen. It's a living hell, you think.

Two fucking weeks you can't sleep. You wake up every night, a several times at least, with a fucking panic attack, or in a sleep paralysis, or whatever the fuck it is — you don't know, you don't care, you just want it to stop.

The thing is, you're going insane.

Every night the reason you wake up is this feeling of someone's eyes on you. Someone's staring at you, from the shadowed corner of your room, every night and it doesn't stop. At first you weren't brave enough to look. On the thrid night you said fuck it and turned the light on, looking around. No one, nothing, no trace of anyone's presence. The fuck you expected to see? The windows were closed, same goes to the door — you checked, three times and one more to be sure — and you were honestly confused and tired enough to get back to sleep. Only for the same thing to happen the following night. And the next one. And again, and again, and again.

You changed locks. Better safe than sorry, you know?

It didn't helped. You still feel watched every night.

Sometimes YOU SWEAR you could feel lingering touches on your body. Cold or warm.

Again, you're going insane.

You bought a fucking camera and installed it in your bedroom under the ceiling just to find your sleepy self and your scared to hell awake self, walking around and searching for the fucking intruder, on it in the morning.

You tried to invite your friends over for the night, but — what am I, a fucking joke? — they all laughed at you, when you told your story. Fuck them, really, you should consider searching for new friends.

You decided to go to the therapist your friend (the only one who, thankfully, didn't laughed with the rest, but still brushed you off) recommended you. The point is, you'll have to wait a month to get an appointment in their busy schedule. You ain't gonna wait so long, you need to sleep for fuck's sake.

That's being said, here you are. Reading an instruction list to Flurazepam, which is like a fucking blanket itself, and grinning like an idiot, excited. Fuck your brain really, fuck it's dumb imagination, fuck the imaginary intruder! You need your sleep and you'll get your sleep, thanks to medicine!

Tonight you eat, shower, read your evening book and get to bed happily, excited to finally get some sleep. Maybe you take a bit more Flurazepam than needed. Just in case, you know?

***

He entered your apartment the same way as always - it wasn't hard to steal your keys and make a copy. He's used to be unnoticed, they would've been disappointed if he was careless enough to let you know about his mere existence. So far, you're stupid enough not to look into details. Smart enough to try and change locks and install a camera, smart enough to show him that you're safe from everyone, but him.

He stops the recording of this damn camera before walking into your room. He solved this problem the first night you installed it. It's a nice kind of change, he must admit. Seeing you from different angle other than from cameras he installed before is nice, truly. Beautiful, clever and caring about his... needs, even without knowing about him. That's what makes you so divine.

Tonight... To be honest, he was waiting for this just as much as you. He was excited, even. For your sleep and his next move in your relationship, if he could call it that.

He takes his mask and glasses off, walking closer to your bed, to your sleeping, relaxed. Asleep, more calm than usual. Just like the first night. Your breath is soft, heartrate is slow, the pills you took obviously worked. You probably took a bit more than you should have, his dumb little thing you are.

He doesn't know how it all happened, to be honest.

What he knows is, he needs you. Badly. All the time, day and night, needs to see your beauty and he needs to be close to something as perfect as you. He thought they wiped everything that could've been even close to what he feels towards you, but apparently they only made it worse.

More likely they know where he disappears every night to. They know everything, and he noticed how much easier it became to sneak out. And if they know and let it be, then he's allowed to have this. Which probably gives them even more power over him.

But he doesn't care. As long as he can see his angel, as long as he can touch something as perfect as you are, he doesn't give a fuck about what else Hydra would make him do. Consider it done. Consider it dead.

He takes his gloves off, kneeling down beside your bed. Slides your blanket off your body, and takes a deep breath. You're in your usual clothes of choice — this tempting shirt, which he often can see your nipples through, which he allows himself to touch sometimes even, and a comfy pair of underwear. He doesn't know what other men usually consider sexy, but for him it is whatever you wear. Especially this pair of panties.

Brings his hand to your thigh, more confidently than usual strokes the smooth skin up, touching the soft material of your underwear and sliding under the warmth of your shirt, to your belly. He doesn't need to be careful now. You won't wake up anyway, you're too deep in your slumber, thanks to those pills.

He almost groans only at the feeling of your soft, warm skin under his fingertips. It's not often when he touches you UNDER your clothes. Too much of a risk, he never intended to wake you up. It would mean a too big step, he doesn't need you to put up a fight and resist too much. If so, he would have to hurt you. And take you away. He's not ready to do that just yet.

But now? Now he can at least do that much without rushing things into it's natural ending. He could have you now, he could taste you now, and then he would prepare to take you somewhere where he would do that as often as possible. He just has to be patient.

For now he could just leave you a message of who you belong to. A promise, of sorts.

The bed cracked under his weight loudly, thanks god you're so deep in your sleep, and the blade shines in the moonlight, so does the hand, the whole arm. Soldier knows that what he's about to do will break you. But a broken angel is still an angel, a fallen one is not.

However, he's very clear with his messages.

Your shirt goes first. The material breaks easily on a sharp knife, he uses it to kill after all, and he's devouring every second of it. He prays that it wont be possible to erase from his mind, just like it was with you, with his angel.

"Beautiful," He breathes out, his voice hoarse and his throat hurts. He hasn't talked in quite some time.

Your shirt is no longer on his way. And oh god, seeing your chest again makes him believe in heaven, whatever this is. When you'll be his, you won't be wearing any clothes at all. It will be his personal heaven.

"So beautiful..." He lowers the knife to your chest, tracing soft skin, nipples with the backside of it. He could so easily switch the side, he could leave a permanent mark on you, a reminder of your first night as his, but he wont. Not now, at least.

Then he lowers the blade to your underwear. Two simple cuts on either sides - and it's just as dysfunctional as the shirt. But he doesn't think you'll need them anyway, now. He might as well just... Take them, as a little reminder for himself? A promise.

He lifts your pretty legs up, resting them on his shoulders when he settles in between, and slides the thorn material from under you with his flesh arm. He wants to feel this. He wants to savor every touch.

Your panties are left in the pocket of his pants, and he returns his full attention to you. Only if you knew how beautiful you are right now, naked for him, ready for him. He would show you, one day. When you would be conscious and used to him, his presence, his touches. For now, this will do.

The knife is back in it's holder, and he lowers to your warm body. Hands slide up your waist to your tits, and the left one to your neck. Metal fingers trace the warm, delicate skin, pressing ever so slightly. The only time he really focuses on how much pressure he adds. Looks just perfect on you.

He can't wait anymore.

Right hand slides off your body to lower his pants, just enough to free his almost uncomfortable erection. He was so mesmerized by your beauty that he completely forgot about himself.

Leans back slightly, once again admiring the view. His angel, so perfect and peaceful, in her sleep. Your calm face, delicate neck, chest, your belly, legs and, a fucking paradise, your pussy. He can't see much, but he knows its perfect. He had seen it, many times, on the cameras. He also knows what you play with, and where you hide it. Lower drawer of your nightstand.

Soldat leaves a trail of open mouthed kisses on your neck, tasting your skin. It's his time to enjoy, his moment to savor, so he slides his hand down to your exposed to him — only him — heat. You're wet, just a bit. Enough for him, at least. Touching you is a privilege already.

Your legs are pushed up, over his thighs. He doesn't know if he wants to hurry up or take his time, it feels like he needs both. Contradictions became natural to him since he found you.

A deep breath. He lined himself up with your entrance, stroking himself slowly, just a bit. Smearing his precum over your clit and soft folds, enjoying the moment. It's so strange to be so overwhelmed. So excited. You make him feel things he didn't knew he was able to feel, and you have no clue. You will, eventually.

He pushes in slowly, groaning and almost cumming right away, holding himself back and biting on your neck. He takes a second to remind himself about how to breathe. Unbelievable. You feel like death. The best feeling ever, the only good feeling.

When he's fully in, he thinks that calling it a heaven would've been an understatement. Your insides around him are so much more.

When he pulls out to the tip and pushes back in, that's where he could've die happily.

You're so warm. So tight, squeezing his manhood just right. It's where he belonged, it's where he feels complete and forgiven. Your walls hug his dick perfectly, and he want's to stay in there until he fades away. And he wants more.

He's greedy when he starts moving. In and out, slowly at first, but getting faster — yes, he's greedy. He's guilty in more than greed, he doesn't care. With your pussy taking him so well, with your warm body under his hands, his lips, just under him — he doesn't care. It's all his, you're his.

Oh how he wants to hear more than those sweet whimpers from you.

He can imagine. His angel, you, under him, hands gripping on his arms, you'll be begging him for more and crying for him, clamping down on him so deliciously and needy. You'll be screaming — screaming the name he can't quite imagine, he can't remember, but he knows you'll be screaming it. One day.

He will take his time to praise you, to tell you how good you are for him, angel, taking all he can give, giving all you have. He will make sure you're shaking and breaking all over again on his cock, tears smeared all over your face and you're drooling with this fucked out look on your divine face-

Oh god, more. He needs more of you, he takes all he can take.

He will leave so much marks on your body, just like now, over your chest and your neck, while you'll be squeezing him inside and begging, begging for his seed-

He cums with a groan, slurred fuck left his lips, headboard of your bed cracks under his metal hand. Aftershock hit the Soldat hard. Right hand gripping on your hip, his breath is ragged and he barely remembers how to breath correctly — he knows this feeling well, but from the bad side. Now? It's euphoric. He doesn't want it to end, he wants to die right here and there, buried deep inside of your heat, with you taking his cum so well, his beautiful angel.

He opens his eyes after what feels like a blissful eternity, his gaze slowly focuses on you under him. He can hear your breath, hard and ragged, he can see a layer of sweat over your body. Small smile cracks on his face. Even in your sleep, you accepted him. You enjoyed it.

He doesn't want to pull out, but he does so anyway. He reminds himself that it's not the last time. He'll have enough chances to do it again with you, after all. He knows what to do. He knows how. He just needs to prepare it.

Soldat looks down, mesmerized by how his seed leaks out of you. There's so much, he has to resist the urge to push it back in. Or to lick it out.

You're so perfect, his beautiful angel. But he has to go.

On a second thought...

He reaches out to your nightstand, barely even looking up from your pretty cunt, still leaking with his cum. Grabs his mask and glasses. Puts both on quickly, then grabs the remote control of your camera from his pocket, and presses on.

After all, he should be very clear with his messages.

[barry-j-blupjeans]

Highkey stealing this idea from @holdmecloser-gandydancer, but I think it's neat, so it's okay. I went through my bookmarks tab on ao3 and picked a few of my favorites that I've read this year, though they haven't all necessarily been written this year!!

big note: Some of these might have darker themes, so please check the tags before reading! I won't be @-ing the authors, mainly because I don't know all their tumblrs, or if they even all have tumblrs. I will, however, be linking the ao3 along with the fic! Also, the likely hood that I've recommended these sometime earlier is very likely, so if you see something I've mentioned before, just know it's very good.

wrong side of reality by taakofromtaz (octolingkiera)

Taako has an imaginary friend named Lup. This one broke my heart into little pieces and put it back together again in the last few sentences.

Letters to No One by Hinn_Raven

Lucretia writes letters to members of the Starblaster crew over the years full of things she couldn't say to them, then. Beautifully written and painful, in the good way!!

By The Book by Mmmarty

Barry is a professor who prefers to teach in theory rather than in practice. Lup is a professor who prefers to teach in practice rather than in theory. But they have to try to see eye-to-eye or risk losing both their jobs!! This one is so good, you all have no idea.

Death As The Family Business by Weevilo707

A very impactful and in-character Kravitz- adopts-Angus-AU. Seeing Angus learning to manage both his Death Powers and his dad falling in love with the guy who threw him off a train.

I'd Sooner Set Myself on Fire by TooOceanBlue

Lup is Barry's patron. She enlists him with an incredibly important task: Being her date for her family dinner. This fic makes me smile every time and I go back to it a lot when I need a cheer-me-up.

Bureau of Badass by Chemicallywrit, miceenscene

This fic was recommended to me (though I can't remember by who aaa!!) and I can't recommend it more to everyone else. It's got action! It's got romance! It's got drama! It's got rollerblading!! Each character gets their own little storyline!!

all the problems that you made in your own head by Voidfish

Barry's got a lot of scars. This amazing fic brings up quite a few of them.

The Red Robes by HeartHarps

Taako and Lup are recruited for the biggest heist in Faerûn history. In the meantime, they get to know their team and work their asses off to prepare. Things fall apart a little bit, but nothing the Professor can't fix. I was on the edge of my seat every time this was updated and it's been finished!! This year!! It deserves so much more love than the little it's gotten!!

Regulations by Pep_Squad_Levi

When I say this fic hits, it HITS. For me, it's a canon Davenport origin story. It follows his life from birth to nearly the end of the podcast and it could not be better. Well worth the read.

Carrying Sound by Clare_Hope

Sound carries on the Coriolis. This includes Urchin and the bubbling of Zoox in the Ethersea water. But it also includes crying. This is so heartwarming and sweet, I can't recommend it enough.

Writing Fodder by BlueMoonHound

I spent weeks searching for this fic when I accidently forgot to bookmark it. We follow Lucretia and her work as her writing, and how she views her lives experiences as nothing more than writer fodders.

Magnus Hugs His Way to the Top of Fantasy NASA and Gets Launched into Space by blueshine

Pretty much what it says, tbh! Magnus works his way up to getting onto the IPRE mission, making friends with pretty much everyone along the way.

Rites of Regulation by Grabbingatpowerandkissingit

Still one of the most impactful fics I've read. To put it simply, the Bureau members mourn who they have lost.

[pet-genius]

Below the cut, a new fic I am starting, not beta-read and barely anything, and I have no idea what the end game is except that I want it to be a Snily. If you read it, thank you and I hope you enjoy <3

Dumbledore

Dumbledore's chest tightened in desperation. The war was as good as lost, and nearly everyone around him had begun to lose hope. His own days were numbered, and if he could protect the school with his last breath, he would - but then what? Tom Riddle was a much younger man, and Dumbledore had good reason to suspect Tom would outlast even those yet unborn. He needed a way to get close to him, and he needed to be clever about it, send someone who could report on his weaknesses, yet who was expendable, given the nature of the task… there had to be something, some way in... “You know who tried to recruit us, Lily and I,” Dumbledore thought back to a brash seventeen-old James Potter bragging that “I would never, not for all the gold in Gringotts”. It was a shame, because the pair of them could have been infinitely more useful to the Order as spies than as wand fodder, sure to be killed before long. "We are your people! To the end!" James had reassured him then.

“How have I managed to miss every opportunity to get close to some one who could help me on the inside?” Dumbledore asked himself? House Slytherin had essentially devolved into a recruiting pool and Dumbledore spent his years raising students only to watch them die.

“My brother would surely not fail to comment on the irony,” he thought.

The thought of his brother put on him edge. “Well, if you're so Smart, Ab, what would you have done?”

“I would not have fallen for that cold blooded slime in the first place and I would not have then tried to make amends by trying to beat another and getting yet more children killed,” Aberforth said in his head, more jagged than his flesh and blood counterpart, who made up for a slow wit with a strong uppercut.

“Could you try to be more helpful?” He asked the imaginary Aberforth, angry at the real one. “For Salazar’s sake, Albus, you're a hundred years old, why can't you just think quietly?” He berated himself. Ah, to be blessed with a brilliant mind – few could argue with their imaginary brother while commenting on the fight in real time.

“So Voldemort tried to get his claws in 'em, you say? And they're loyal to you, you say? Doesn't take a genius, does it? Give them to him wrapped in a bow.” And Albus thought: “Aberforth, if you had let me get close enough to do it, I might have hugged you.”

James had the pedigree, Lily had a glowing recommendation from Professor Slughorn… Surely Voldemort would be pleased by having something he had been denied, and what different would it ultimately make if he is not?

Lucius

Lucius's fondness for the half-blood was genuine, no point pretending otherwise. There was something almost exotic about his ways, wide-eyed naivete and combined. with lust and hunger to make something of himself.

He was entertaining to keep around, but Lucius knew better than to forget the proper order of things: Friends are not blood, and should never be allowed to progress so far they would forget their gratitude.

It seemed a miscalculation to induct Snape into the fold so soon after he had graduated - but Lucius know Severus would never again be as lost and unknown as he had been just then, and this was the moment to make the move. With any luck, both Snape and the Dark Lord would remember Lucius’s role in brokering this unlikely connection. Snape could be trusted to, in any case, while Lucius would reap the rewards of his hard work... Credit attached itself so much more easily to names and faces like Lucius’s, after all.

And Shape delivered - producing potions and poisons in record time, studying the Dark Arts with voracious curiosity.

"I admit, Luke, you did well bringing him. Anyone would have thought to recruit a Dolohov, but a Snape - only you!" Cissy congratulated him. She had an air of elegance about her even when admitting to a mistake, and he adored her for it.

"I have always known whom to associate with, Dearest;” he replied. “But let us not forget who are our friends and who our family, hm?" His wife could not agree more. Family was where the fun and games had to stop. Let the half-blood hang before a hair fell off his true blood’s head. If only he could give Narcissa everything she wanted, everything she deserved. Lily

Ever since her graduation, Lily had been trying to combat a sense of unease. Mostly around the prospect of visiting her family - She felt loathe to admit to them that the wizarding world that lay beyond the castle's walls was not all wonder and a whimsy. Every problem that plagued the Muggle world, in fact, seemed to have a worse counterpart in the wizarding world, with one minor difference - she was the foreigner, the usurper and the threat.

She not like it. She did not want Petunia to know that. And she hated how James simply refused to understand it, she had harbored a fantasy that marrying him would help people see her in a different light, and then that if she joined the Order she would have a real chance. Now she found herself. out of ideas and with nowhere to go.

When Dumbledore’s Phoenix Patronus perched itself on her table and began to squawk about some important mission or the other, Lily almost hurtled a mug at it. James’s giddy excitement only annoyed her, as did the inevitable question - do you need a potion for cramps, Lily? Whatever else, she figured a mission would be a good way to work out her anger, in any case. Severus

Ever since Severus had "lost" Lily, his life had become immeasurably better. He had spent weeks alternating between tears and terror, rage and regret, the image of her backside going up the stairs drove him mad with remorse, to say nothing of what Potter’d done. But as he entered his sixth year, things suddenly changed: unfettered by his association with her, he felt emboldened to demonstrate the spell he had created and perfected, that she would have frowned on as "Dark Magic". Simple Muggle, he told himself - was there such a thing as “Dark Science” or “Dark Music”? Only Muggles thought like that. He resolved to never fear his own power again and never ever beg or apologize again. He and tasted enough humiliation for the rest of his life.

It had helped that the NEWT lessons attracted more studious, serious people, among whom he could find the space to shine. First impressions mattered, but so did last impressions, and Severus prepared to be at the top of the class, with many options to choose from, join the winning side, and blow with the wind that would devastate the world that had oppressed him.

Severus found an odd pleasure at seeing his spells used on others: Muggles like his father who deigned to control these who struck them as "evil". To laugh with the crowd as they hung in mid-air, to witness defeat and destruction from the outside. He loved being a Death Eater and he admired the Dark Lord. The Dark Lord spoke the truth where others lied, and gave Severus a place and a sense of power where others had mocked him. He inspired Severus dream up ever more creative ways to aid him in the grand cause: Abolish the Statute of Secrecy, and allow every being gifted with magic to practice their craft to the best of their ability. Any other vision stood in the way of progress.

James Potter would take to a distant memory, a funny joke, a puny obstacle on his way to the top and Lily – Lily might come to regret her choice, but it would make no difference to him. He would never look back. If anything, she has been a bigger obstacle to his ascent. His only regret was how long it had taken him to realize that.

Voldemort

"Brothers, Sisters," Lord Voldemort opened his speech, amusing himself with the notion that his audience comprised of people so thoroughly inbred they might as well be.

"We have another victory, two more liberated from prejudice and convention to join us, and what an unlikely pair of allies we have made!"

Whispers heard around the room, eager murmurs of curiosity. The Longbottoms? A Weasley? Someone foreign, perhaps?

As far as Lord Voldemort could hear, no one guessed the Potters, whom he coveted not least because Dumbledore wanted them. A score against his enemy and a shock that would confuse his followers, in one fell swoop.

He loved feeling the power he had over them, the power they had all given him. He looked at the crowd and watched them all assume the same pose and expression so that all distinguishing factors were erased and he no longer saw people, only conduits for power. He would force them to make room for the Muggle-born and he and he would make her show her gratitude by whatever means necessary.

“Please welcome James and Lily Potter,” he said quietly.

A stunned silence fell, and someone abortive claps faded. Neither the new recruits nor any of the old new knew what to do.

"You disappoint me,” Lord Voldemort said. Is this how we welcome guests?” Hesitant cheers broke out and grew, and no one noticed the lone young man at the back of the room who felt more shocked than anyone.

[stellar-solar-flare]

Alright, practical advice. I'm no medical professional or anyone with an education in this stuff, so this is just what has worked for me personally upon experimentation. Your mileage may wary.

Also, I'm assuming that you're getting enough sleep and nutrition and are receiving professional support for any physical/mental conditions that might affect your situation. If any of those are not true, I strongly suggest you work on them first.

General:

This is super basic but please remember to hydrate. I notice a real difference on the days when I haven't been drinking enough water - I'm much more foggy and irritable and prone to headaches.

Timers are my best friend. No need for any fancy ones, just any kitchen timer will do, or a smartwatch/phone/tablet/computer, anything that has a built-in timer. Although if you're using a device, make sure that you're putting it on a do-not-disturb state or similar, where you aren't seeing the notifications on the screen. I do almost everything with a timer, even the fun tasks, because for me that gets me over the starting inertia. Again, we're back to momentum and starting that engine. I just state in my mind what I'm going to do for the time I'm setting and do it; for me, motivation is something that builts up when I've already gotten started, and I understand that's similar with a lot of people. Like that 'I will do 15 minutes of this' helps me transition from the 'Oh I'd like to do X but starting things is hard.' phase. Once the timer is done, I can quit the task or continue. Like 90% of the time, I end up continuing, and my brain knows this, but I still can get started that way even when the idea of sitting down to read a whole book sounds completely overwhelming. When I write, I usually do it in 20-minute focus bursts, shutting off everything else except for maybe music.

I try to combine things I want to do with things I do anyway. Like, I have my coffee every morning, so I journal while I'm having my coffee. It's easier to get that done while I'm already sitting down at a table.

I try to get at least a little physical movement in the day. Even if it's just some stretching. I've noticed it makes a huge difference in focus and motivation.

Despite what the hustle culture would like to tell us, people aren't meant to be 100% productive all the time. No one is. You need rest and recharge time spent in whatever meaningful ways that is for you. Sometimes that's just staring at the ceiling. Be kind to yourself and listen to your body and brain. There is a difference between the mildly uncomfortable inertia of getting started and unhealthy overextertion; only you can know where that line goes for you each day.

If it's been a long time since you've written/read a research paper/read a book/any other similar cognitive task, at first it's going to feel like you've forgotten everything you ever knew about doing this stuff. You have not. I promise. Brains are plastic things, and once the rust comes off, you start to remember why you love this stuff so much. But at first, it's going to be a little uncomfortable and feeling like you can't focus, which is why I recommend using the timer thing and easing into it.

Remember that it's supposed to be fun. It can be fun. You're allowed to have fun, you're allowed to write just whatever indulgence you want to, you can research any topic you like, you can read a book on whatever you want. It doesn't need to be useful or something that'll benefit your career or anything like that. I make little games for myself about doing things and have imaginary conversations about topics in my head with fictional characters and all that weird stuff.

Tech-specific:

For YouTube specifically, I deleted the app from all my devices and switched to browser-use only, initially blocking with a content blocker the shorts page entirely and also hiding the shorts elements from the page. I also disabled my YouTube watch history, which makes my front page into an empty page. Now I have the shorts available again, since I kicked the habit of mindlessly watching the feed; now I'll just check some from the people I've subscribed to, and that's it. Any time I notice a site taking too much of my time, a similar strategy gets executed.

It's easy to be overwhelmed by all the interesting things to learn and read and study when you don't have a pre-decided syllabus. I keep a list of things I want to look into, so I don't have to worry about forgetting a topic. I also keep lists for routines, housework, things to buy etc. All that admin work/'must remember this' stuff goes onto a list.

I try to keep my bed a no-device zone (the Kindle is an exception). I admit I don't always succeed at this, but that's another thing - not every day is perfect and on some days you just need to zone out and that's alright. We need rest - but for me, it's generally a lot more recharging to do things that I actually enjoy as opposed to browsing different feeds.

I have very limited notifications on my devices. I want to be mindful about when I'm grabbing the phone and responding to the notifications, be it emails or texts or messages or whatever. In the morning, I try to do my mourning routine of coffee, journaling, and getting dressed and doing skincare etc before I grab the phone, so that my brain is fully awake. I've noticed that this helps my focus the entire day.

If you share a living space with other people and their sounds are disturbing you, ear plugs, noise-cancelling headphones, or white noise apps might be helpful.

Please feel free to ask if I phrased anything confusingly. These are just things I've found through trial and error when attempting to keep things that are important to me present in my life in various situations. If any of that helps, I'm glad.

And I know it's a lot of stuff so for that overwhelm and getting started, here's a quick plan if you want to try one: just pick a topic or a book, whatever you want, turn your notifications off and put a timer on, and spend 10 minutes looking into it or reading the book.

There'll be no perfect time to get started and if you're anything like me, the feeling of motivation needs to be coaxed out from under the bed, so just take a deep breath and start. You absolutely can, I believe in you. Hugs.

real talk for a mo and why i havent been on so often... its me, i feel like my cognitive skills have gone way down since i graduated this spring.

my ability to focus, my ability to think critically and analyze a text or be self-reflective, my willingness to get up and do something instead of rotting in bed after work are basically non-existent. I love my switch but it's real bad the way it tips the scales when i have to choose between playing video games or being creative or active. i avoid reading through my wip docs or queueing my thousands of drafts. its like my brain has ground to a halt and maybe its not true, its just weird bc for the first time since i was 4, im not a student.

so, it's not groovy but this is also me not giving into the rottening i guess. i wrote some on wednesday and im slowly going through my drafts/inbox. going to focus on learning and maybe doing some creative writing exercises as well as other life things. if you sent me something, ty ily and sorry for taking my sweet time.

i really should journal this but i havent touched my actual physical journal since uhhh july?

[dekatsu]

recommend fanfics??

only completed ones please!

If this is about bkdk, weirdly enough, I never went really deep into this ship's fics. I have read more dabi x hawks and shigaraki x natsuo fics than bkdk lol

Anyway, here are three chaptered bkdk fics I really loved reading:

1.

2.

3.

the last dragon-blood king

This one ticked all my favourite tags and the story stayed wonderful till the end. I quite enjoyed it!!

Two Oneshots I liked:

orange you glad we finally met

i wish i may i wish i might

Also, there is this a/b/o bkdk fic which I started really early on when it was still updating and wanted to pick up when it finished but never got around to. If I'm not wrong it's "how to train your shitty omega"? I just remember really enjoying the imaginary the author built. It was really mangaesque. The author literally brought manga panels alive in their words, and I still haven't figured how they managed that. I can't vouch for the ending but while I was reading it, it was pretty nice.

Here are three non bnha fic recs which are just straight up incredible:

Look my friend. I didn't read the Dr. Stone manga, so there were some characters I just didn't know but I could still enjoy the story and what stood out the most to me about this story was, and will forever be, the way the author changes their writing style from chapter one, senku's pov to chapter two, gen's pov. From the wording to the world view, it changed completely to represent each character and left me actually intrigued about how the author managed to be so authentic to both of those very different characters. Man, I really nerded so hard over this fic.

If you don't mind recommendations across all fandoms, I have a whole library in my bookmarks ranging from tony x loki all the way to madara x tobirama. Hell, there is even a really popular drarry fic which basically perfectly shows you how to initiate someone into a cult and I bet you at least 75% of the readers don't even recognize it.

Just drop another ask with a ship you like and I might be able to help.

Thanks for the ask! It really brought back some wonderful fics

[inactive-luv]

Normal

normal

normal

TW: depression, gender dun dUN DUN

word count: 2216

a/n: i’ve got a lot more gender neutral Spencer Reid fics loading :P

(Spencer's POV)

On a normal day, I would set my alarm for five in the morning and wake up slowly. I'd pour a cup of coffee and make myself some toast. I take a shower and brush my teeth and maybe listen to an audiobook on my way to work. I got this recommendation from Garcia, Ready Player One. I listened to the narrator's voice at a pace 'normal' people would read.

A part of me always felt self-conscious about myself, how I was different compared to everyone else. My mom called me special but that just made things worse. Special still sounds like there was something wrong with me. And that was just my I.Q, later on, I constantly got made fun of for the way I dressed, how I wasn't 'normal' enough. Never 'masculine' enough.

I haven't had a normal day in months. I started to wake up naturally around three am, if I ever slept. My thoughts kept me awake, thinking about the insults and taunts I got. I lay in bed most days. I told Hotch I was sick and stayed in a comatose state for most of the day. I would stare at the ceiling and wonder about myself.

I couldn't do anything. I couldn't eat, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't use the bathroom. The thought of having to stand up in front of the toilet. Washing my hands in a men's restroom, everything just made me sick. I hadn't gone to work in a week. It sounds odd but I didn't feel safe there. Work used to be where I could concentrate and use my abilities to my advantage, I watched and analyzed people's emotions for a living but now, it became so hard to think about myself.

I felt exposed in the workplace, at home I felt more comfortable using my own bathroom and I could wear my own clothes. I felt like someone else in the bullpen, someone different. Having to hear my name makes me feel imaginary. I didn't feel real in my body.

Getting out of bed this morning exhausted me. I dragged my feet across the wood and looked down at my sweater. The temperature in my house was always hot, something with the thermostat, but I couldn't stand looking at my own skin. I wore a thick sweater and a robe on top of it, long pajama pants and big socks. I knew I had to take off these clothes if I wanted to go to work today. I really did, I missed my friends, I missed having to do something.

Having a purpose meant a lot to me. I lost sight of what I was meant to do with my life, I would just mope around my apartment without doing anything and I still felt exhausted. I hated being here, I needed to do something. I couldn't just stay here for the rest of my life. I so desperately wanted my normal life again, but I couldn't even think about stepping outside my house.

I hate thinking about having to do normal things. I hated using public restrooms and wearing my normal clothes. Life becomes meaningless if you can't even look at yourself in the mirror.

A while back I put towels over all of my mirrors, this morning I lifted the one in my bedroom. I looked at myself for the first time in a long time. I looked at my eyes, the bags underneath them screamed tired and disgusting. My whole face looked blue and purple. I saw the veins in my neck, and when I touched them I winced.

Taking a deep breath, I started to remove the robe in front of me. I watched the fabric fall to the floor when I felt the ends of my sweater. A burst of energy filled my gut and flooded through my veins, causing me to haphazardly lift the shirt fully over my head and shimmied my pants off. I felt angry. Angry at myself for not being able to do the easiest things. And sad watching my body shake and my skin crawl.

I forced myself to stare at my chest. I stared long and hard at the flat shape and bare skin. I started to run my hand over my abdomen and I could feel my ribs protrude out of my skin. Tears started to fill my eyes when I glazed over my underwear. I could see the outline of my legs and the thought of what was between them made me sick. I felt like throwing up.

I rushed to the bathroom and clutched at the sides of the toilet. I quickly thought about all of the germs and bacteria and immediately lunged away from the seat. I washed my hands five or six times until my skin curled underneath the stream. I splashed the water on my face and began to sob. I ran my hands over my face and my eyes tinged from the tears.

When my hands roamed their way back to my chest I fell to the floor in a mixture of emotions. I felt depressed, gross, I felt cheated in my own flesh and blood. I felt contained to the bottom of my bathroom sink. The tears relaxed and I started to slowly lift myself off of the cold tile.

I wobbled back to my bedroom and tried to open my drawers. I reached for a dotted shirt and slowly buttoned the clothes on myself. With each button, I sniffed and let out a heavy sigh. I wanted to change my underwear but every time I slid my fingers past the waistband I cringed. I couldn't bring myself to look past my abdomen.

I just tried to pull on a pair of work pants without my eyes and slide a brown belt through the loops. I stared at myself in the dresser mirror and reached for another layer to put on over my body, a brown cardigan. I wanted to smile. I tried to force the corners of my lips to move upward but they only drooped a little lower. I swallowed my tongue and went to get my coat.

...

I walked into the lobby and saw people walking throughout the halls, I felt so out of place. I slowly slumped up to the elevator and pressed the button. It was halfway through the workday, a little after lunch. It was raining so hard outside I could hear it through the elevator walls, I heard the pat pat pat just outside the floors and I started to feel thirsty. I hadn't drunk much water in public because I didn't want to have to use a public bathroom. It wasn't a problem until one day I had to be sent to the emergency room.

I got nervous as the elevator doors began to open. I lifted my head and was relieved not to meet anyone as I stepped out. A sore feeling manifesting itself in my throat. I look up to see everyone in the conference room. I barely catch Rossi's eye when I start to walk up to the bullpen. Soon I can feel everyone's eyes on my back when I rest my bag on the edge of my seat.

J.J. walks out of the room to wave me over. I watch her walk back into the room, I look at her heels and her pretty blouse. I think back to what I'm wearing and feel gross. Why do I keep stressing about these sorts of things? Morgan doesn't worry about how he's dressed. Hotch doesn't care about shoes or what he has to wear. Rossi was the one who probably cared the most and even he didn't notice the things I do.

I rush up the stairs noticing how everyone is waiting on me. My pace slows down as I get closer and closer to the threshold of the conference room. "Hey, pretty boy's here!" I clench my jaw at the sound of that nickname. My stomach turns inside out and I think about just running out of the room and heading back home, or anywhere but here. "Why don't you sit down we were just starting." Garcia tries to talk to me in her sweet voice. I missed her so much, I missed everyone.

"No thank you," I whisper. I hadn't spoken words out loud in a long time. I don't talk to myself and I hadn't seen anyone else in days. I clear my throat gaining a sliver of strength from the anger in my gut. "No thank you I," I start stronger before pausing mournfully again, "I think I need to say a few things before I come back, officially. C- can you all please sit down." I choke in my breath and all of their faces turn worried when they look at me.

"Uhm, I know I haven't been here in a while but uhm," I turn my head to the floor, "I want to be able to come back, I do, and I uh," It gets really hard to talk without tearing up. I swallow hard when J.J tries to pat my arm, I don't mean to but I flinch and try to push her hand away. "I can't come back until," I'm afraid I'll start hyperventilating, "God I'm sorry." I move my hands up to my face and wipe away a few tears before swallowing and whispering again. "I can't come back until I figure out what's wrong with me."

"Kid there's nothing wrong with you-" "Yes there is! I- I- I can't sleep! I can't get dressed by myself! I can't even use the bathroom without feeling sick!" The words pool out of my mouth in a harsh tone and J.J. steps back when I flail my arms, "I can't look at myself in the mirror," Tears stream down my cheek when I turn my face around the room. "I need things to be different around here." Even Hotch's expression turns saddened and weak.

"I-" I choke and wipe my eyes with my sleeve. " I hate the name 'pretty boy'." I try to turn my eyes from Derek who's leaned over to see my expression, "I hate being referred to as 'Sir' or 'Mr.'" I bite my quivering top lip and draw my eyes back to the floor. "I hate hearing," I pause and clear my throat again thinking it would help stop my cracking voice, "he did this or it was him who," I sniff looking at Garcia whose eyes are also filled with tears.

"I'm not comfortable," I whisper and Emily gapes her mouth as if to say something then closes it rubbing her nose instead. "I haven't been comfortable for a long time. I don't know what I am anymore." The word 'what' sticks in the air for a minute before J.J. tries to pat my arm again and I let her. She eases in to hold me and I shut my eyes to stop sobbing.

"I- I- need," I start before shaking my head, "I'd like people to treat me differently." I furrow my brow thinking what to say next, "I looked online," I wipe my face again trying to slide J.J away from me, "and all the labels really scared me but uhm," I pause again "I think I'd like to try something I've been pushing down for a while." Rossi nods his head.

I feel awkward standing in front of all of these people, my friends. Years ago I could trust them with my life but now I felt so exposed and broken. I was scared of how they were going to react, I felt like screaming in my stance and running out of the room crying. I muttered out the first words before shaking my head and trying again. "I think," I clear my throat again, "I want to try different," I look at the group, averting my eyes off the floor while the edges of my lips curl into a saddened smile, before whispering the last word, "Pronouns."

I see Emily mutter a small "Oh," and Morgan's face turns confused. I slump into a hunched position and continue to cry softly when people start nodding their heads looking up at me. "Well," Hotch starts and people start to look at him. "I think that what you're asking for is," He pauses looking to the group then back at me.

"Perfectly reasonable and we will do or call you whatever you want" They all nod and mutter incoherent words. "Yes, yes of course we can." Garcia stammers wiping tears from her eyes looking at me from across the room. "What, uhm what would you like?" She asks rubbing her hands together, "To, you know," she shakes her hands before wiping more tears from her face.

I smile for the first time in weeks. It's not a toothy smile or a cheek to cheek grin but, it makes me feel safe knowing I can still do the things I used to. Come into work and smile. I catch my sighs and draw in a deep breath before looking at Garcia, "They/them." And the rest of the team smiles too.

...

[shyishsarawat]

tagged by @praninlove ty bestie <3

1. your all time favorite bl and why

1000 stars, though 2gether is always in my mind <3

2. that one bl that scarred you for life

it didn't scar me for life but The Blue Hour I watched it at like 5AM for Gun and I didn't know it was like a horror movie and I was like...why do I feel so creeped out by everything? it's the first movie to unsettle me in years, but that also could've been because I hadn't gone to bed yet ahshs

also I watched all the The Shortest Distance is Round movies, not because I liked them but bc I payed for a month of Gaga00lala and I was just watching stuff and also bc it was all so messed up and I wanted to see how much messier it would get agshshs wouldn't recommend someone gets their dick bitten off in the first movie and I don't want to even get into the other stuff

there's more from gagaoolala but let's not talk about them I've moved on :)

3. is there any bl that made you feel very single?

ATOTS, Bad Buddy, 2gether, Quaranthings, Don't Say No

4. if you could change one thing from a bl, which one would it be?

MODC ending 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

5. that one bl you detest (don’t hold back)

Th*rnType 🙄🙄 like their toxicity wasn't even fun to watch it was so annoying 🙄🙄 like I'm not the purity police and I even like genuinely toxic ships sometimes ( and not Tumblr's warped definition of toxic but actual toxic ships ) and I still found them so genuinely unappealing. Also waterboyy but for it's wasted potential and other reasons I don't want to get into.

6. your top five:

1. A tale of thousand stars

2. 2gether

3. Bad Buddy

4. Light On Me

5. My Love Mix Up!/Kieta Hatsukoi/my vanishing first love

7. that trashy bl that you lowkey like

TonhonChonlatee - I forgot everything about this show except Khaotung's little dancey dance 😊😊 and the teddy bear scene agshshs but I remember thinking it was kinda bad but I was having enough fun to keep watching it

8. your favorite korean bl (it’s important we know)

Light On Me - my beloved <3

9. but also your top 3 for kbls

1. Light On Me

2. Where Your Eyes Linger

3. The Imaginary one in my head about Seojun/Suho from my beloved True Beauty <3 and the Seojun/JuKyung/Suho one. something about friends to enemies to friends to lovers seems fun.

Also whatever those two unhinged bitches from strangers from hell had is better than most kbls

honestly so many Korean BL's I've seen have been pretty mid or just so fast it's hard to enjoy anything about them asghshs

10. season 2? which one?

I actually don't think I want season 2 of any BL, I'm afraid they'll pull something like in ipytm ( which I still haven't watched ) and emotionally I can't handle that. I think special episodes like 2gether got is good, or a like a movie with a focused plot, but even then it's like...what if Aof isn't directing it? how do we even know it'll be good and not crush our souls and destroy our beloved characters, huh?

11. a bunch of dramas will air soon. which ones are you the most excited for?

moonlight chicken and cupid's last wish, they both have EarthMix and look kinda messy and I'm living for it.

12. Tag Them

I tag my bestie @ralbeleren and anyone who sees this and wants to do it 😊

[fiveisnumber1]

I'm getting attached to way too many 5SOS songs for these two but you recommended it and I got hooked so here's another impromptu music analysis cuz can't stop, won't stop:

Here I am waking up Still can't sleep on your side There's your coffee cup The lipstick stain fades with time If I can dream long enough You'd tell me I'd be just fine I'll be just fine

I have SO MANY THOUGHTS. I analysed these verses as both Reader and Five. Sort of like a split screen/back and forth thing.

Reader obviously can't sleep in Five's room or stay there too long in the beginning before the grief of his disappearance threatens to make her cave in on herself. She finds his hidden stash of coffee beans and coffee cup cuz of course she got him that cup, she knew how much he loved coffee but that Reginald didn't allow it, so she knows where he keeps it and it makes her cry thinking about it cuz she misses him so much. She holds it and it's like she can feel the ghost of his fingertips still. And when she falls asleep finally after running on her own caffeine highs to avoid sleeping (before Diego and Grace catch her out), when she crashes she manages to sleep long enough to dream of Five who whispers to her that everything will be OK even though when she wakes up he's still not there and there's an emptiness in her soul and next to her.

Similarly, with Five: He also can't leave Reader's makeshift grave for the first few weeks. He can't bring himself to leave but he can't bring himself to stay long either cuz he's in despair over her loss. Her diary and locket is the "coffee cup" for him and like her, if he manages to sleep, she always haunts his dreams and tells him he'll be okay and that they'll see each other again which is hope he can't bear to give himself but simultaneously needs to keep going.

So I drown it out like I always do Dancing through our house With the ghost of you And I chase it down With a shot of truth Dancing through our house With the ghost of you

They both drown out their reality and misery. They try to forget. Reader dances around the manor pretending to be happy but she's still haunted by the memories of Five because it's literally his home and he snuck her around all these halls so they're tainted with him mumbled the stories for her in their one-sided conversations when she was invisible and trying to avoid getting caught.

For Five, Reader's ghost is literally with him at all times through his hallucinations so he tries to use that to forget that Reader isn't actually with him. His reality of the apocalypse is the bitter truth despite him making Reader up in his mind to keep him company to drown out the loneliness.

They both pretend to be happy with each others ghosts but those ghosts simultaneously remind each other about their bitter truth that they're actually far apart. They're simultaneously trying to drown out and chase the truth of each other with the remnants they have of each other.

Cleaning up today Found that old Zepplin shirt You wore when you ran away And no one could feel your hurt We're too young, too dumb To know things like love But I know better now (Better now)

So I imagine Reader finding Five's notebooks where he was calculating for time-travel and just sitting down with her head in her hands and shaking because Five just had to go and prove himself to Reginald who just had to be an asshole and refuse to be understanding. If only he had treated the Hargreeves all better maybe Five wouldn't have been so hurt and angry and the desire to prove his superiority to Reginald for some measure of control wouldn't have existed and forced him to be rash while lashing out.

Five probably finds something in the rubble belonging to Reader or maybe just her diary entry detailing how hurt she was when he left her behind but also talking about understanding his pain and it makes him ache because she understood him and his hurt and his ambition unlike everyone else and he took it for granted.

And they're obviously so young and just children but they're in love. They're too dumb to understand what it means or how to deal with it cuz it's so much emotion in such a small time but they know how it feels now that they've lost one another. They regret not saying anything and they know themselves better now and wish they had realized the depth of their feelings earlier.

Too young, too dumb. To know things like love. Too young, too dumb

The repeated lines just make my heart ache even more. It's just emphasis on their longing for each other and sort of speaks to that heightened desire over the years to see each other again the more they are apart and their hearts grow fonder. Theoretically, they were kids who shouldn't have had such a deep attachment to each other but they did. Five made a dumb mistake that landed them in a mess but it wasn't entirely his fault either and it led to their separation.

So I drown it out like I always do Dancing through our house With the ghost of you And I chase it down With a shot of truth That my feet don't dance Like they did with you

This last line hurts like a bitch. They'll continue to move on and pretend everything is fine cuz they need to keep going but they're missing their most important piece which means they can't dance exactly the way they did when they were together. They falter without each other cuz there's an empty space next to them both occupied by each other's ghost just waiting to be filled by the real person they miss. They'll drown out the truth of their emptiness as much as they can but they can never drown out the fact that the person who made them want to dance was each other.

Anywho here's my analysis. I can't wait to see what you add and I hope you liked it! :D

As always I love your analysis! I wrote a lot so I’ve put read more link below:

Here I am waking up Still can't sleep on your side There's your coffee cup The lipstick stain fades with time If I can dream long enough You'd tell me I'd be just fine I'll be just fine

When I hear these lines it gives me the feeling of time standing still, nothing is changing and it’s only little things that even dictate the passage of time. I think this is really fitting for both the reader and Five. The academy is frozen in time for the reader. The rooms of the building are the exact same and untouched from when she left to when she arrived in the future. Nothing has changed, especially so with Five’s room. It’s little things like the amount of dust collected that even show that time has passed. As for Five every day is the same in the apocalypse. It’s only the rising and setting of the sun and the changes in weather that really dictate time. 

In terms of the coffee cup, I imagine after a while the reader starting to use it as it makes her feel closer to Five. She’d keep it in her room and take perfect care of it using it for whatever drink she had. The color of her lipstick staining the glass. Somehow when exploring the academy ruins, Five finds the cup perfectly intact with the lipstick stain of the reader’s on it. Five takes care of the mug but as the days, months, and years go on, the lipstick stain fades away and it breaks his heart because it’s just another part of her that he realizes is gone.

The repeated line of “I’ll be just fine” can also refer to what the reader tells other people who are trying to care for her like Grace and Diego during such a difficult time. She continues to push the issue away when they try to help by offering up the excuse of I’ll be just fine even though she won’t be fine and she is not fine.

So I drown it out like I always do Dancing through our house With the ghost of you And I chase it down With a shot of truth Dancing through our house With the ghost of you

With this, it’s both Five and the reader trying to ignore the reality of the situation they’re in.  The reader tries to involve themselves in a brand new life. They make a group of friends, they spend time with Diego, they do piano, they do boxing, they work on their powers. The reader is drowning out the pain with other things but when it comes down to it she can’t escape the ghost of the memories living in the academy house. 

As for Five, he turns to drinking to drown out the problem. When the pain of knowing that the reader isn’t there is too much he will chase down the problem with a shot of truth. Truth, in this case, being alcohol.

Cleaning up today Found that old Zepplin shirt You wore when you ran away And no one could feel your hurt We're too young, too dumb To know things like love But I know better now (Better now)

Even more so than finding his notebooks, I can see the reader helping Grace clean up some of the old rooms (excluding Five’s) and underneath Klaus’ bed she finds and old academy uniform, and although it’s not one that directly belongs to Five it’s still the exact outfit he wore on the day he ran away because he was angry and hurt by Reginald’s dismissal of him.

So I drown it out like I always do Dancing through our house With the ghost of you And I chase it down With a shot of truth That my feet don't dance Like they did with you

When I think of these last lines I imagine that on really lonely nights Five and the reader both get up and dance alone. They have their arms placed as if they were dancing with someone else as if they were dancing with each other, but there’s no one there but the empty air. Dancing alone, even in the loneliest of moments, is never the same as dancing with the other person. 

Also like imagine this as a scene in the show with this song in the background: On a starry night in the apocalypse, Five is having a drink next to the reader’s makeshift grave at the ruins of the academy. Wanting some form of familiarity he gets up and starts to dance with the imaginary version of the reader that he has, even though he knows she isn’t real. At the same time, the Reader is in her room on a similar starry night and decides to pretend to dance with Five even though she knows he is not there. As they spin around dancing, the scene goes back and forth between Five in the apocalypse and the reader in her room making it look like they’re dancing together even though they are in two different places alone. As the song nears the final lines Five spins the reader out and there is a split-screen where Five is in the apocalypse with one arm extended and the reader is in her room with one arm out. It looks like they’re holding each other's hand but then the shots pan out and there’s nothing there. And the two of them sadly once again realize that they’re dancing through the shared house with a ghost of the other.

Just wanna add, I listened to the live version of the song, and god does it hurt to imagine Addison taking the reader to a concert and her hearing that song for the first time live. Like while everyone else is waving their cellphone flashlights side to side and having fun singing alone she just gets a distant look in her eyes as she remembers Five. Thinking of that is just like ugh, a stab in the heart really. I’d recommend it if you wanna be sad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwsXebE_f64 (watch 0:00-3:53)

[fl5793]

This sounds stupid but like what if ‘Euphoria’ met ‘After’ with a police investigation, crime scene, violent killer…. But what if the baby of ‘Euphoria’ and ‘After’ also met with MHA and you get a tv- 14 but would’ve been better if it was tv-MA

You’d get my book

__________________________________

Amiss: The Murder Mystery - FoxLover

Chapter 1: Pilot

Welcome to Amiss

Special guest star Hope Rodriguez as Catalina Garcia and Nathan Black as Jake Paton (It Is pronounced Pat-on)

It's a sunny day at Evergreen high which isn't weird since it's springtime

Inside the high school, you see the outcasts and party animal Rebecca Ring walking with her on her right is popular miss lovely Erika Smith

The two were walking together out of the school

"Hey, Rebel listen we can't be friends anymore," Erika says standing in front of her

"What?" Rebecca says confused by her sudden words

"Your dumb, ugly, and definitely not good enough for me, I also heard you tried to act like the bitch you are and steal my boyfriend," Erika says with attitude

"Excuse me, Erika you know I would never do that to you and I have my boyfriend," Rebecca says

"Whatchu do pay them? cause we all know the only guy who would want to sleep with you is your imaginary boyfriend." Erika says in a calm but sassy voice

Rebecca was the type to not talk back because she was a person who was too herself

Erika was walking away from Rebecca standing still with her head down

"Well guess what I do have a boyfriend and at least we don't need to have sex to hide the fact that's the only good thing in our relationship."Rebecca claps back and she regrets it so much

"Rebel we both know damn well you shouldn't be talkin- I mean every time a guy comes to you they have to remember what's in the front when they see your back," Erika says getting angry but trying her best to control it

"Erika you are such a slit that I bet you if you go on the hub she would remind you of one of those porn stars since she's so horny 3.6.5," Rebecca says and claws come out of her hands

"Hey everyone Party girl and Erika are about to fight." A guy shouts and gets others to rally up

"Speaking of horns I see them growing all over your face no wonder you wear makeup and I have true beauty unlike you," Erika says with a smirk and that was it

Rebecca pounced on Erika and a fight broke out

Erika swung her around and pinned Rebecca on the floor and started punching her

Rebecca scratched Erika's right eye

Soon teachers came and separated the two

They both landed in detention

"I expected better from you two. You were nominated as best friends of the year and have great academics which has caused this to happen." The principal asks

"We're not friends just enemies and why the hell are we nominated we never allowed this?" Rebecca says and the two face away from each other

"Rebecca you damaged Erika's eyesight affecting her ability to blink through her right eyelid and Erika you almost broke her jaw just know you two are getting detention for a week." The principal said

From then on they were enemies until the school year was over and college started

Rebecca got into an expensive college recommended by the school while and that was the same for Erika

Now they are each second year and hate each other

But this is a little different

Erika had an online friend named badboiforlife in a game she played in high school

As soon as College started Erika met badboiforlife who turned out to be Zachary a guy who dresses up as if he's in a gang

Zachary has tattoos black hair blue eyes and a leather jacket but yet such a kind soul

Zachary didn't like to talk to people because he was discriminated against for being a part werewolf

Erika didn't care cause she was head over heels for him

Present day~

Erika was in her dorm room making out with her boyfriend Zachary

"Why do hate Rebecca so much did you two have a past?" Zachary asked stopping their make-out sessions

"Obviously I always talked about how much of an ass she was," Erika says rolling her eyes

"But we're second years now please don't continue this stupid rivalry. What happened she talked to your ex? It's in the past." Zachary says

Erika starts scratching the back of his ear

"Maybe you're right I should stop but once she says she's sorry," Erika says

Zachary's eyes roll to the back of his head

"Can you pet my head too?" Zachary asks and Erika obliges

"I just don't want you to think i'm gonna go soft on her we are not friends but not enemies but… Uh- something." Erika says

Erika took her hand away and Zachary whimpered like a sad dog

Erika's heart fluttered

"Aw~ why are you so adorable," Erika says and smothers him with hugs and kisses

"Look at the time I have to go remember I have homework," Zachary says now it's Emily's turn to whimper

"You know I have that tutor session will Erick have to go there or else that special Ed professor will fail me," Zachary says and gets from under her

Zachary would actually keep his opinion to himself because again he doesn't want to start trouble

"You sure the professor is the Ed one or is it, my brother," Emily says

"He's smarter than you think," Zachary says walking to the door and leaving

Meanwhile,

Rebecca had a heated moment with her current boyfriend Jake Paton

"Wow that was amazing," Jake says under the covers

"Yeah it was but I have to go," Rebecca says and puts her clothes on under the covers

"Wait where are you going?" Jake asks

"Well I have a friend date with Catalina since it's her birthday and I hope I get to see Erika today," Rebecca says under the covers

So you two finally stopped this stupid rivalry and became friends

"Nope, I have planned a way to embarrass her at Catalina's birthday party," Rebecca says teleporting out from under the covers

Jake groans

Rebecca's quirk is Cheshire cat so she can do whatever a Cheshire cat does

"You're becoming the bully that Erika was," Jake says and Rebecca rolls her eyes and put on makeup

"You know I always wanted things to change but she would constantly keep things going," Rebecca says

"This problem between you two was over me and I left Erika for you. Plus you know what they say if you a change to happen you have to do it your-" Jake was interrupted

"Yeah dont need a lecture, you can keep talking about how you want to solve this "problem" while I solve it my own damn way," Rebecca says with an attitude and leaves

"I wonder if it was such a good idea to break up with Erika for Rebel," Jake says while sighing on the bed

Rebecca leaves the college and meets up with Catalina

Rebecca goes to a café and sits on one of the tables outside waiting for Catalina

Rebecca goes on her phone to text Catalina

"Hey, bestie where are u I'm at the café?" Rebecca texts

"Hi I'm still at the college there are so many teachers trying to tell me happy birthday gonna be late." Catalina texts and Rebecca sighs putting her head down

Catalina was still at the college doing something else entirely

Catalina used her quirk flotation and then went into the storage room

Inside she met up with Zachary who she kissed on the lips

"Come on now strip I don't go on that stupid birthday meeting with Rebecca," Rebecca says kissing his lips harder

Zachary grabs onto her arms and pushes her away softly making Catalina annoyed

"I don't know if this should keep going on I don't like messing with Erika," Zachary says in an unsure voice

"Who cares Erika is probably only using you for the sex and then will leave when she finds another guy," Catalina says rolling her eyes

"Yeah- but I told her I was a virgin so I was scared to have sex," Zachary says

"Exactly you were a virgin until you met me. I just want to get payback so I get to have you for myself." Catalina says and kisses him

Catalina knew there was a camera in there because there was some kid who vandalizes the school

Catalina wanted to get this on video and then send this to the whole school

'Erika will go down for sure just because I can't date her brother doesn't mean I won't steal your boyfriend.' Catalina thinks while kissing him

10 mins later

"Finally your here I've been waiting for what feels like forever I didn't know your short-ass self needed a lift," Rebecca says

"I know but I guess life doesn't want me to have one birthday- wait a minute what do you mean by a lift?" Catalina says

"You know a lift for example the big guy right there who looks like Dwayne Johnson to pick you up and take you places since your too short to reach a car door," Rebecca says and laughs

"I'm only 5'2 and your 5'5 that's not too far away in inches," Catalina says

"But still far away from shoulders," Rebecca says and chuckles to herself

"Someday girl… your gonna miss me," Catalina says

"Anyway, we have to plan the party. I heard you were gonna send the whole college some embarrassing video to get rid of Erika for good." Rebecca says holding her hands together

"Yes indeed. I have video evidence and it's gonna be crazy it's all about the past, the present, but I just can't wait for how she's gonna react in the future." Catalina says with excitement

"If it's this crazy I must find out what it's about," Rebecca says kind've in a demanding voice

"Nah ah you have to wait till the party everyone is gonna get a fair chance to see the surprise." Catalina teases

"Now that is so unfair I'm like an amazing friend I definitely need to see this video." Rebecca whines

"Fine but I'll show you a sneak peek," Catalina says and shows Rebecca the video

"Hello everyone my name is Catalina Garcia also known as a hot shot because I reveal to you the hottest gossip that will feel like it's shot right at you," Rebecca says in her video

"Erika Smith also known as Erika S online for her stupid videos has been keeping a secret from all of you," Rebecca says

When Rebecca was watching the video oh my god she was so shocked because of the secret she was hiding

"Is it really true?" Rebecca asks

"Yes, it is. Who what's ever thought that this could be true." Catalina says

"That's just what makes you incredible- for finding out the truth of course nothing else at all," Rebecca says starting to blush

Catalina nods as she understands her

At the birthday party

This birthday party would be held on the entire floor Catalina was on

"Zoë you should really calm down on the drinks. You act crazy when your drunk." Alison says

"I WaS dArEd ThIs SiNcE tHeY sAiD I cOuLdn't PrOvE mY love to you," Zoë says drunk

"You love me?" Alison asks

"Mmhm EvEry moment I'm WiTh YoU i'M happy because your amazing and beautiful, and hot, and Love the way you flinch to almost everything," Zoë confesses sobering up

"I love you too Zoë, you are an amazing girlfriend and I'm lucky to be with you," Alison says and kisses Zoë on the lips but then backs off

"Okay, you first need to stop with alcohol," Alison says with a small smile on her face

"I also need to throw up i'll see you upstairs," Zoë says and runs upstairs

While she's throwing up there is a room a few doors away from the bathroom

Once Zoë was done she was still pretty drunk

Zoë left the bathroom and walking past Catalina's bedroom when suddenly she heard

"Zachary come on please you can't end this all now," Catalina says

Zoë went to the door and watched everything through the crease of the door

"No Catalina I can't your bullshit anymore I love Erika, I want to be with her, have sex with her, and stay with her not you," Zachary says

"But baby if you stop this now just know you will never get with me again," Catalina says

"I rather stop this fake relationship than ruin the one I already have," Zachary says angrily and leaves the room noticing Zoë there

A guy was walking by with multiple shots and Zoë takes all of them

Zoë chugs them down one by one so she can forget everything she just saw

"Okay, NoW I'm BeTteR." Zoë says

Zachary left Catalina in her room

Catalina wasn't even sad she was just pissed off

Catalina threw her lamp on the floor

"Fine if you won't love me then I'll make sure you don't love Erika," Catalina says

Catalina was about to walk out of her dorm room when she had a notification on her phone

"Do you want to play a game? Catalina?" The phone says and Catalina just stayed in her room

"Aw hell man I ain't doin this jigsaw shit I'm staying here," Catalina says and stays in her bedroom

"Catalina you are in your bedroom right now I can see you through your window." A text says okay now that made her terrified

Catalina looks through her window and sees no one

"What the hell?" Catalina says confused

"The game I want to play is called hide and seek where you hide and I seek for you. You have ten seconds to hide or else you'll die." The text read

Catalina looks out on her dorm floor and sees no one there

"Where the hell did they go?" Catalina asks walking outside her dorm door

"10" The text was sent and that terrified Catalina

9

8

7

6

Catalina was running away but for some reason, all doors to leave the floor were locked

5

4

"HELP SOMEONE HELP ME!!!" Catalina screams in fear and slams her hand against the doors leading outside

"Hey, Catalina is that you?" Jake says on the other side

3

"OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!!" Catalina screams

2

Jake unlocks the door

1

Jake opens the door and hears screams

0

Catalina was gone and Jake sees her phone on the ground

It was counting down from 10 to 0

Jake was confused and a little creeped out

"Hey, Catalina where are you?" Jake asked looking around

Bing comes from Catalina's phone

Jake looks at it and is even more confused

"I found you." The text says

Jake couldn't react cause he was shot multiple times in the back

Jake was on the floor dead with blood oozing out and was on the floor

A body then falls from an open dorm room

It was Catalina's

Catalina's neck was sliced as she tried to reach for her phone

Catalina knew she wouldn't be able to call anyone in time so she hit the emergency S.O.S button and let the call go through

"911 what's your emergency." the call taker says

Catalina couldn't speak but Was shot in her head multiple times

"Were those gunshots? Hello? Are you still there." The call taker asks

A guy in a cloak and mask picks up the phone

"Hello, my name is Charles Banquet I'm also known as the Slaughterer you can call me either one. I've just killed two college students come now or else more people will be next." The Slaughterer says and hangs up

Little did he know there was someone else watching

Rebecca was inside her dorm

'Holy shit holy shit HOLY SHIT THERE BOTH DEAD.' Rebecca curses in her head

Rebecca backs away from the door when she knocked something over

"Damn it," Rebecca says out loud

The slaughterer turns to the dorm door and shoots bullets through the door

One of them goes through Rebecca's arm and she uses her quirk to teleport away

Meanwhile,

"Hey, Zachary you came to my room to tell me something," Erika says happy

Zachary sits on her bed

"Yeah I need to tell you the truth I was-" Zachary says when Erika screams

Zachary turns around to see Rebecca teleport into her room with a bloody arm

"Hey y'all there's a masked serial killer who killed two people and I might be next so can I get some help," Rebecca says drowsy

"REBEL WHAT THE FU-" Erika shouts

[tuhbanbuv]

Ok so time to infodump about my Edna and Harvey AU because why the fuck not?

Also, most of this shit won't make sense unless you've seen both the games. I recommend watching Yippee Ki Yay/Mr Falcon's let's plays, which I will link here, if you can't buy the game or too lazy to. Warning, it does cover a lot of dark subject matter (mental illness/asylums) with dark comedy.

Edna? Accidentally kills neighbor boy by pushing him down the stairs when he threatens to tear up her plush rabbit, Harvey. Her father takes the fall and ends up getting the electric chair. She's taken into an asylum where that same boy's father tries to brainwash her into a "perfectly obedient child" but Harvey's like fuck this, and they leave.

Edna and Harvey make a boat, try to sail the ocean running away from cops. Both separated, each thinking the other is dead. Edna washes up on the shore of a run down convent and meets a clumsy yet well meaning girl named Lilli, Harvey recaptured by Dr. Marcel and turned into a brainwashing tool. Normal stuff.

Undercover cop named Garrett investigates the convent, Dr. Marcel comes to town and Edna asks Lilli to destroy all evidence of her before she books it. While doing this, she accidentally kills a bunch of kids in her wake, because she is either too careless or clumsy. She probably accidentally killed her parents that way too, idk. Lilli's probably more innocent than Edna, though.

One way or another, they end up in Dr. Marcel's asylum. Lilli goes to save Edna and Garrett, but Dr. Marcel's like "hey yeah no they're hallucinations you are so fucked up in the head child yeah let me hypnotize you and rob you of all free will I'm definitely not lying to you" and Edna's pretty much going along with this because she doesn't know what to do and she needs actual therapy.

Lilli? Had enough. Hotel? Triviago. Fixes up Harvey who distracts one of the nuns and chews out pretty much everyone cuz she's had enough of people bossing her around. Okay, maybe she didn't mean to be so rude to Edna and Garrett so she goes back to save them.

Garrett calls his other cop buddies on Dr. Marcel and Mother Superior, Harvey replaces himself with a decoy to escape with Edna but Dr. Marcel takes him hostage, ending in the toy rabbit getting caught in some crossfire. Now, he's a plush toy. A figment of Edna and Lilli's imagination, so he's not really alive to anyone else, but a couple tears and accidental bullets make him revert back to a plush toy form instead of his imaginary friend self.

Fuck.

Once everything clears up, Dr. Marcel in police custody, Garrett takes Edna and Lilli to his place and patches Harvey up. But he's still just a plush toy, no life in him, like any toy looks like to most people. Edna is heartbroken, and holds him in her arms. Garrett's like "it's just a toy but ok I'll let you have this" until bam! Harvey gasps.

"Wait, toys aren't supposed to breathe???" Yeah no. Harvey's just alive now. Like, actually alive, walking and talking to pretty much anyone regardless of sanity. So on top of instantly becoming the legal guardian of Edna and Lilli, he also has to try and figure out if Harvey's sudden revival is some sort of folie à deux or him straight up getting pinocchio'd.

That's the entire AU.

[caseuoiseau]

I was tagged in a meme thing???

Highly unusual. Here I thought my wallflower fandom camouflage (famo?) was better than this... ANYWAY

I was tagged by @snkception

Rules: tag 10 people you want to know better.

Relationship status: telling the patriarchy to go fuck itself and taking a nap

Favorite color: It depends on who's asking. Most people: the shade of teal that's closer to turquoise than peacock why yes I've had a part-time job in crafts or interior design stores since I was 15 why do you ask.

My 3 year old niece: red. (It's my second favorite, and spares me having to explain "teal" to someone who called everything "blue" for about three months.)

3 favourite foods: I didn't get this less than girlish figure by being picky, but my faves are:

- Spinach & Cheese Strata: I use the recipe from Smitten Kitchen and sorta springboard from there. I made one with steamed broccolini and cheddar, which was nice, but needed something like garlic for a little more kick. In the past few years it's become the official Holiday Breakfast of my family, and official Snow Day fuel for me.

- Teriyaki chicken thigh skewers: cut some boneless thighs into 4-6 pieces each, soak em overnight in teriyaki (or soy sauce, a bit of brown sugar, and a buttload of minced ginger), skewer (with pineapple, onion, and mango, unless you're a coward), and grill. A+ barbecue potluck option.

- Lentil soup: it's earthy and hearty and has veggie in it so I feel like it's healthy even when I make the roughly-50%-sweet-Italian-sausage verso from Smitten Kitchen. Alton Brown's recipe is also great (sub a mix of black pepper and nutmeg if you don't have grains of paradise). But the best is the kind made by the bakery across the street from my last part-time job, because I didn't have to chop fuck-all to get it.

Last movie I watched: probably Why Him?, which my mom discovered last fall and has been watching obsessively because she indulges her inner child worse than her grandkids. If not that, it was probably the first 40 minutes of Moana, which is a substitute for a nap with my nephew. If we're looking at something I got to pick for myself I think it was There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane because I was making a baby blanket for my Murderino friend and figured it needed some true crime mojo.

3 favourite shows: I've been really bad about watching TV since about 200...1...ish. Working nights is a bastid, I tell ya. So, recently...Game of Thones (first 4 seasons out of enjoyment, last 3 out of spite), Rick & Morty, and Archer. (Also recently, Attack on Titan and Yuri on Ice). Historically, Venture Bros, Futurama, Kids in the Hall, Arrested Development, Veep, this is more than three, I can't count,

3 favourite bands: Lately I've been super into The National (I would not recommend listening to them with the frequency I have been unless you're at least a leel 20 Existentialist). The first band I was ever into was probably Queen (I'm old enough to remember--and be deeply saddened--when Freddie Mercury died and to use "I'm old enough to remember" sincerely instead of as a meme). And unironically Smash Mouth, don't @ me. Hey fuck you, imaginary person giving me shit about this, they might not be complex or deep but nearly every damn song feels like a barbecue happening some time between mid-July and Labor Day, and there's something to be said for music that's unashamed fun.

Book I’m reading: I'm currently experiencing an extreme bout of "I have too many books to read" anxiety (and a comorbid case of "oh shit look at all this yarn I own I can't knit fas enough my bedroom looks like a wool-themed horder lives here OH WAIT"), so I'm between books right now. The last I read was Neal Stephenson's Seveneves, which was a little too hard sci-fi for my tastes, until it absolutely wasn't, at which point all his weaknesses became amplified. It was a good book from the speculative science perspective (although his biology got a little hand-wavy, considering the detail in his physics and mechanical engineering). I also started The Sixth Extinction (reading level 50+ Existentialist), and started a long-overdue reread of The Dark Tower series before the movie came out. Now I've got Obelisk Gate and a bunch of Le Guin to handle and I'm just gonna lie down on the floor and be paralyzed by indecision while my older sister tries to convince me to read the Wheel of Time series again.

I'll tag: uhhhhh, whoever wants to play? I'm normally the person kinda flirting around the edges of a fandom, not particularly good at community-building, or interacting in general, so I'm gonna drag ever wallflower out on the floor with me. C'mon. We can splay out on the floor paralyzed and chat. You wanna play? Consider this your invite.