#“Kid” not in age (legally Jean is not a minor) kid as in 19 year old trauma boy

[thatoneluckybee]

NEIL NO NO NO NO NO NEIL BABY NO NO THIS IS NOT NO NO THIS IS NOT HOW WE DESCRIBE SOMEONE'S MURDER TO A GRIEVING KID NO NO NO!!!!!!!

[lyrazehedgieboiii]

another mood

I was in the mood to do this. I know. I’m pathetic. I have asks, yet I’m not doing them. I will get to them.

SO, there’s this person on Deviantart called MontyTH, and basically has an OC of this little hedgehog that’s supposed to be Sonic’s little brother. (Lmao he actually looks like a SonAmy fanchild though) So, that inspired me to make this!

PLEASE READ THIS PART:

Monty is kind of a blueish-periwinkle color, with three bangs just like Amy’s. He has emerald eyes just like Sonic. Sonic is overprotective of him, and gets jealous when someone else gets his attention.

Ages:

Amy: 16

Sonic: 19

Monty: 9

Basically anyone else: 

Female: same as Amy’s.

Male: Same as Sonic’s.

   “Hey Monty! I’m home! I have someone with me! Come down, I want you to meet her!” Her? What did he mean, her? Monty went down the stairs, and found his brother, Sonic the Hedgehog, with a pretty hot pink hedgehog.

   “Hi big bro! Who’s she?” Monty asked, gesturing out to the lady next to him.

   “Monty, remember Amy Rose?” Sonic asked. Monty remembered his number one fangirl. She would always chase after Sonic, always begging him to marry her. It was quite annoying, really. However, Monty couldn’t say that out loud. Sonic had taught him to be nice to everyone. 

    “Yeah. She was your friend.” Monty simply said. He was about to say ‘fangirl,’ but stopped himself before he could say it.

     “Well, now she’s back, and she’s more than just a friend now!” His big brother exclaimed. “I introduce you, Amy Rose! My first girlfriend!” Earlier, Sonic had his arm around her covered waist. Monty looked at her. She was practically unrecognizable! Her quills had grown to her back, she wore studs on her cute little ears. She was wearing a red cropped sweatshirt, and she she had a rose pendant around her neck. She wore a black shirt under the crop top. She wore skinny jeans and a pair of red converse. 

    “Hey there, Monty!” She giggled. “You probably wouldn’t recognize me, seeing that I was very annoying as a kid, but don’t worry, I won’t take your big bro away!” Amy said in a loving voice, like she was a doting mother praising her child. Monty liked how she changed.

    “I sure hope not!” Monty replied. Amy giggled once again, and Monty decided that he liked her and thought she was great for Sonic. “So she’s your girlfriend?” He questioned, turning to Sonic. He nodded.

    “And she won’t be able to get rid of me that easily!~” Sonic chirped, nuzzling his head into the crook of Amy’s neck. Amy chuckled.

    “After years of chasing you, of course I’d hold on to you forever!” Amy cheekily replied, nuzzling back. Monty found this a bit awkward, just standing there as his brother and his old stalker were starting to get intimate. He cleared his throat, hoping they would notice that he was still in the room. They quickly separated, and blushed.

    “Uh, well, I’ll go get all of us a quick snack. Monty, can you please take Amy to the living room?” Sonic commanded him. Monty saluted him, and took Amy’s hand.

    “What spell have you used to make Sonic fall for you?!” Monty demanded out in surprise. Amy flinched, not expecting the sudden outburst.

    “Spell? I’m not a witch, Monty. You know that.” Amy stated while smirking.

    “Your face is saying something else.” Monty crossed his arms, tapping his foot, copying his brother when he would get impatient.

     “Monty, are you not happy that Sonic finally has someone to love? And that someone actually loves him back?” Amy inquired, but Monty wouldn’t have it.

    “Are you saying my brother doesn’t, ugh, love me?” Amy was taken by surprise again.

   “No! I meant love, romantically! He loves you so very much, and you have a big piece in his heart. All I ask, is that if I can have a piece of yours?” Amy gently questioned him.

  “...Why?” He seemed a bit disturbed as to why she would want to be friends with him. 

   “You’re a really nice kid. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with you? You’re adorable and I love making new friends. Last time you saw me, I was some brat who only wanted Sonic to myself, and I would kill anybody who got near Sonic. I’m not like that anymore. I mean, I would kill any flirters who got near Sonic.” Amy darkly chuckled.

   “Uhm, still as...hyper as always?” Monty tried to lighten up the atmosphere, indirectly asking if she was still crazy.

    “Not really, I only act crazy when someone does something I hate, or when they abuse any of my friends’ names.” Amy responded, as if she was prepared for that question. “Anyways, has Twinkle Park changed? I haven’t been there in a long time.” She asked, hoping he’d offer to go with her so they could bond.

    “Yeah, they added some more exciting rides there, I go all the time with my friends. We can go there tomorrow and I could show you!” Monty exclaimed, ecstatic to go on the newest ride, that only he and a few other knew about. “But you’ll have to wake up early, we have to be the first ones at the park!” He added, while Amy nodded.

    “I can’t wait!” Amy replied in the same tone as him. Sonic comes back and hands them some snacks and Monty goes back to his room to give the couple some privacy, because he saw Sonic’s hand going down her back...

They started to make-out aggressively, Amy on the bottom and Sonic at the top. Sonic bit her lip begging for entrance, and Amy happily accepted. They were like that for a few minutes before they heard Monty yell out in disgust. Amy left, after trying not to give in to Sonic’s pleads to sleep with him. (not like that!) 

The next day, Amy and Monty went to Twinkle Park, and were on the new ride, which was called “The Thrill Seeker,” which Amy admitted wasn’t as thrill seeking as being in Sonic’s arms when he’s running, but they enjoyed it. Then came one of those prize-winning game with the hammer, and Amy showed off her strength with her own hammer, breaking the game altogether. She won a stuffed Sonic, and yelled out “AMY ROSE IS BACK, BABY!” until a couple of Eggman’s robots (which were automatically programmed to attack without Eggman in sight) decided to attack Twinkle Park, but Amy and her iconic hammer saved the day.

‘She looked so cool, no wonder Sonic loves her so much!’ Monty thought, as she appeared out of the smoke, her hair dancing with the wind. He gasped loudly. Then, it was time to go back home. Amy insisted that she go with him so nothing happens. Monty didn’t mind; Amy was now his new guardian angel. Well, not exactly “Guardian,” because Sonic was, but still, he was super thankful for her. As soon as they got home, Sonic pounced on them, asking if they were alright, and if anything happened. Monty proceeded to tell him about how Amy single-handedly took down Eggman’s robots, and made Amy blush by how heroic he made her sound.

Sonic seemed impressed, and that made Amy’s heart soar to the heavens. Monty went up to his room to text all of his friends what he had experienced. Sonic smirked at Amy and pulled her into his room. They made out once again, but with Sonic being fast, attempted to pull her shirt up before Amy knee-ed him at the crotch. (DUDE I WANT TO WRITE LEMONS SO BADLY FUCK TUMBLR’S POLICIES) 

    “Sonic, your brother is upstairs, he could hear us! And, I won’t let you go any farther until you propose!” Amy declared. Sonic’s sexy smile dropped. 

     “Amyyyy, you’re only 16! You need a legal guardian to allow you to get married.” Sonic pointed out.

    “Then you can ask Rouge if you can have my hand in marriage! She took ‘responsibility’ of me, since I’m still kind of a minor.” Amy rolled her eyes. “I moved in with Blaze and Rouge, so I’m closer to everyone!” She told him in a happy tone. He was happy too, he got to spend more time with his beautiful girlfriend...

TIME SKIP TO MOTHER’S DAY :DDDDDDDD

During the time passing, Monty and Amy took the time to have fun by going out to eat, take a drive, train Monty because Sonic was scared something would happen if he used his thunder powers (it fits him, I don’t think MontyTH gave him a power). And he also told her about things that happen in school, and Amy always gives him advice on how to handle it.

Then came Mothers’ Day, the day to celebrate mother figures everywhere, whether it be your mother, your sister, your teacher, anyone. Monty never knew his mother, because she died when Sonic was only 10 and Monty was a newborn. Sonic looked everywhere for an opportunity to give his little brother the life he deserved. He became a hero, earned a lot of money, got a house, sent his brother to school, gave him the life he deserves. He didn’t have a mother, but Sonic tried to be everything for him. 

Monty decided to celebrate with Amy for Mothers’ Day, seeing as she was his brother’s girlfriend, and he could trust her with anything. She was his mother-figure, as well as a sister-figure, as Sonia wasn’t around because she had become queen. Monty texted ‘Happy Mothers’ Day Amy!!!!💕💕💕💕🌹” as soon as he woke up, and as soon as he sent it, he heard someone’s phone get a notification downstairs. He ran down to find Amy wearing one of Sonic’s cotton shirts, crying with a smile as she looked at her phone. She saw Monty and squeezed the living daylights out of him, and kissed his forehead.

    “T-Thank you so much! I’m so honored that you think of me as your mother! I love you so much!” She kissed him all over his face like some doting aunt would to her nephews and nieces.

    “You’re welcome!” He managed to say, all of his breath being taken out. She let him catch his breath, before he asked her something. “Where’s Sonic?”

    “On his morning run.” That got Monty confused.

    “But, he usually goes when I go to school?” He said, not sure why his schedule changed.

    “It’s because he doesn’t want to leave you home alone, but since I’m here, he gets to do it early.” She blushed intensely, thinking of what they had done last night. “Also, someone’s going to get another big sister~!” Amy’s voice chimed melodiously. Monty tilted his head in confusion. She stuck her hand out to reveal a diamond encrusted ring on her finger. Monty’s eyes widened in shock and happiness.

    “You and Sonic are getting married?! Yes!” Monty yelled and threw and a fist up into the air. Amy giggled and nodded. Sonic zipped back into the room and ruffled up Monty’s quills and kissed Amy’s cheek. He put a hand around on her waist, representing that she was his. Amy sighed in content. 

    “Whatcha guys talking about?” Sonic asks, taking his hand off of her and grabbing a plate of toast that was on the counter.      “Amy told me that you proposed to her!” Monty exclaimed, running around, streaks of lightening traveling through his quills. He jumped onto Amy, who would’ve almost fell back if Sonic wasn’t behind her. She happily wrapped her arms around Monty and hugged him back.

“Yup! Rouge, her guardian, said that I have to wait until she’s 18 to get married, but for now, she’s engaged to me.” Sonic informed him. Monty nodded in understanding and went upstairs to talk to his friend on Discord. Amy turned to Sonic and grinned. Before they were about to kiss, they heard the doorbell ring. Sonic answered it, and found Rouge standing there with some documents.

“Here’s the papers, like I said, she’s not getting married until she’s eighteen.” Rouge simply stated and waved at Amy. “Here’s some of your clothes, hun!” She wheeled a suitcase into the house and flew away. Amy hugged Sonic from the back, avoiding his quills and nuzzling him in the neck. He turned around and kissed her.

“I love you, babe.” Her muffled voice could be heard saying. Sonic’s heart felt like it leaped right out of his chest, but kept his happiness contained.

“I love you more.~” Sonic replied.

“Says the one who’s been running away from me since I was eight.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“I was an immature boy back then, I’m a responsible adult now!”

“...Last night told a different story.”

“How do I even reply to that, Ames?!”

“Say I won.”

“No.”

[losingmymindtonight]

AU: TV/Movie

I took this square and followed it very loosely. This is set post-Endgame, where Tony is alive. Some of the dialogue in this fic was taken from S1E6 of The West Wing, and the entire concept was pulled directly from that episode, then tweaked and embellished. Oh, and this is a long one, so strap in.

WARNINGS: mentions of alcoholism (very brief, ungraphic), drinking, minor allusion to an attempted sexual assault (very brief, ungraphic), arguments

--

The Starks’ cabin rolled into view, and the only thought Peter’s fuzzy brain really managed to grasp was a sudden certainty that Tony was going to skin him alive for this one.

Like, there wasn’t even another option. He’d never been more sure of anything in his life. He might as well ask Happy to drop him off and just start shopping for a Peter-sized coffin right away, because he was totally, inarguably, and definitively a dead man walking.

All of this, and he’d just wanted to go out to a bar with his friends.

He had thought that he was entitled to that kind of thing. It was, after all, what nearly every other kid his age did. And the getting drunk bit wasn’t even his fault. Or, okay, yeah, it had kind of been his fault. Nobody had exactly forced him to drink, and maybe Ned had even told him to slow down once or twice, but he really hadn’t gone into the bar with that intention. Despite what Tony thought, Peter actually did listen to his rules, although remembering all of them was another thing entirely.

Of course, he probably wouldn’t have that problem if Tony didn’t have so freaking many.

Don’t do this, definitely don’t do that. It felt like nearly every one of their conversations eventually came around to a review of the things he wasn’t allowed to do. And, with every passing day, it felt like the list of no’s just grew and grew and grew.

He loved Tony. He did. He loved Tony, he loved Pepper, he definitely loved Morgan. He loved them, and he owed them more than he could ever hope to comprehend. After May had died, Tony and Pepper had done everything for him. He’d been housed, fed, clothed. But even more, there had never been a single hesitation, a single doubt, that Peter was anything less than their child. When he’d turned 18, the age where all of Tony and Pepper’s legal obligations had vanished along with the illusion of childhood, Tony had sat him down on the porch, August sunset spilling over the railing, and gently reminded him that he was still their kid, they were still his parents, Morgan was still his sister, and their cabin was still his home. That didn’t change just because he’d made it through yet another rotation of the Earth.

Peter could never repay the Starks for everything they had done for him. He could never love anything as much as he loved them. But somedays, being one of Tony Stark’s heirs was exhausting.

The fame, the attention: it wasn’t anything he’d ever prepared for. It had taken less than 48 hours after Tony and Pepper had signed custody papers for the news to break, for Peter’s face and name to be plastered on the front page of every single news website on the planet.

And then it had never stopped.

The Heir To Tony Stark’s Legacy Does This, The Heir To Tony Stark’s Legacy Does That. It was a never-ending stream of microscopic evaluations. He couldn’t do anything without being watched.

For the first time in his life, he truly started to sympathize with the animals on display at the zoo.

The thing was, the press never referred to him and Morgan as Tony’s children. They were his heirs. As if this was a dynasty, not a family. Heir, he’d come to discover, was a frighteningly grand word.

He always felt caught between being Tony’s heir and being Tony’s child. He was Tony’s heir when he was being lectured on security. He was Tony’s heir when he was shoved into a carefully pressed suit for a gala he didn’t want to go to. He’d been Tony’s heir when the pressure of the Stark legacy had become too much to bear, and he’d dropped out of MIT the after a single semester and came running back to New York with his tail between his legs.

He was Tony’s child when he dozed off during movie nights, warm and cradled and calm. He was Tony’s child when the smell of pancakes and bacon woke him up on Sundays, and his morning greeting was chapped lips pressed to his forehead. He’d been Tony’s child when, in the aftermath of the MIT disaster, Tony had been waiting for him on the front porch, faded jeans and AC/DC t-shirt and all, the picture of home and safe and it’s okay, Peter, it’s all going to be okay.

He’d never been ready for that dichotomy, had always wrested with it in a way that Morgan hadn’t. It actually shocked him, sometimes, how easily Morgan accepted the chaos. Maybe it was because she’d been born into camera flashes, been raised with the knowledge that the Stark legacy came with a price and a Gemini complex. But Peter? Peter was just.. well, just Peter. A nobody kid from Queens. Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined himself under the scrutiny of the entire world.

He knew that Tony tried to help as much as he could. There had been countless moments of awkward sympathy over the years. Moments of Tony painfully and sightlessly trying to understand something that was, by fortune of birth, just slightly out of his reach. Those instances always made it abundantly clear that Tony was just as removed from Peter’s world as Peter was from Tony’s. There was a disconnect between them, a gap that no amount of conversation could fix.

And then, of course, there were the goddamn rules.

Peter knew that Tony knew that Peter hated them. It wasn’t exactly a secret. Considering how abrasive both of them could be in their darkest moments, they rarely fought over anything other than the rules, the family code of conduct, the Stark Constitution, the whatever it was that Tony wanted to call his monotonous and extensive list of things that Peter and Morgan were never allowed to do.

It was a little cute, actually, how surprised Tony always was to find Peter straining against the limitations like just about every other rebellious teenager would. Maybe that was what 19 was all about: tripping into adulthood, shaving off the edges that your parents left behind. At least, that’s how Peter liked to look at it.

God, all he’d wanted to do was go out to a bar with his friends, and now here he was: sitting sullenly in the passenger’s seat while a disgruntled Happy coaxed his Audi down the Starks’ gravel driveway at 2:00 in the morning.

Going out with his friends hadn’t even technically been against the rules. Sure, he’d left his security detail (yes, he’d said security detail, because Tony literally had no idea how to chill ever) outside, but that also wasn’t a strictly banned behavior. It may not make the list of Tony’s favorite choices he’d ever made, but it wasn’t forbidden.

Getting drunk… well, yeah, getting drunk, especially getting drunk in public, was 110% on the list of no’s. Actually, it was probably one of the most grievous offenses.

But, god, Peter had just wanted to be a normal kid for once in his goddamn life, and he was going to do it if it killed him.

(He was sure that, later, Tony would claim that it nearly had, but Peter had grown pretty used to the man’s flare for the dramatic by now.)

To be fair, Peter conceded that he probably deserved a tongue lashing over the choice to leave his emergency button (because, yeah, he had one of those, too) and cellphone on the table when he went to grab another drink (that he probably didn’t need), but in his defense, he wouldn’t have done it if he was sober. He would’ve wanted to, sure, but he wouldn’t have.

It was just… sometimes, all the trackers and precautions felt like chains around his neck. He didn’t want to be on Tony Stark’s leash 24/7, even if he was his parent. Hell, maybe especially if he was his parent. He wanted to be his own person. He wanted to be independent.

So, yeah, he’d left them behind. And, yeah, it hadn’t gone well. But how was he supposed to know that that was going to happen?

It wasn’t like he’d expected a bunch of shady guys to crowd around him while he waited for his drink at the bar. If he had, he definitely would’ve brought the panic button.

Despite what Tony was so happy to believe, he wasn’t entirely an idiot.

He was lucky, he supposed, that he’d been out with Ned, and that the friends they’d collected over their brief time at Columbia were a caliber above the ones they’d made at Midtown. He didn’t even know which one of them thought to hit the panic button for him, but he was grateful. He was.

He even felt a little guilty. He rarely saw Happy frazzled, and never saw him afraid, but the look on his face when he’d hauled Peter away from the bar had come perilously close to terror.

They pulled up to the front of the house, and Peter jerked forward in his seat as Happy hit the brakes just a little too hard.

“Tony’s waiting,” the man said. It was the first time he’d spoken since the beginning of the drive, and while his voice was surprisingly gentle, there was still an edge lurking underneath that made Peter shiver.

“Already?” He asked, meek.

Happy nodded, pushing open his door. “Yep. You did the crime, and now you do the time, kid. Welcome to the real world.”

For some reason, he suddenly wanted to cry.

He blamed it on the alcohol. He’d been blaming a lot of things on the alcohol, tonight.

Happy had to steady him up the steps. It looked like he flinched at every wobble, as if each reminder of Peter’s intoxication physically wounded him.

He wondered if it was because of Tony. Peter knew about the alcoholism. They’d talked about it before. He knew that that was why the no drinking in public rule was expected to be taken so seriously.

If there was one thing Peter knew about Tony, it was that his greatest fear was his children ending up just like him. And tonight, Peter had come perilously close.

When they finally got to the cabin’s porch, Happy didn’t even get a chance to fumble out his keys before the front door was swinging open and a white-faced Tony Stark was ushering them inside.

Happy had to help Peter stumble over the threshold. While he would never admit it, he was actually pretty grateful for the iron-tight grip that the bodyguard kept on his elbow, because it was probably the only thing between him and an inelegant nosedive in the entryway.

It was dark in the living room, but that didn’t matter. Peter knew that room like he knew himself, had spent Christmases and birthdays tucked between its walls. The fireplace was lit, and Peter’s heart clenched at the sight. Pepper always put it out before going to bed, which meant that Tony had purposefully lit it for him, because he knew that it made Peter feel warm and content.

Tony was always thinking about him, always reaching for him, and all Peter knew was pulling away, letting him down.

He felt like the absolute worst person in the entire world.

There were a few seconds where they all came to a halt by the couch: a suspension of the anger and frustration and grinding of gears. Everyone let out a collective breath of relief.

Then, Tony snapped.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, huh?” He grabbed Peter’s forearms, shook him so violently that his vision swam. “Getting drunk in some shady downtown bar? Leaving your security detail outside? Nearly getting yourself fucking kidnapped? C’mon, kid,” Tony seethed, “give me an answer. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I…”

Tony cut him off, yanked him closer. “Do you think I give you these rules because I don’t have anything else better to do? Do you think that this is a game?”

Peter wanted to respond. In all honesty, he wanted to apologize. He really hadn’t meant to fuck up so badly, hadn’t meant to make Tony so mad.

He wanted to say that, to ask for forgiveness, to convince Tony to drop the fury and coddle him instead, because he didn’t feel good and, although his pride wouldn’t allow him to admit it out loud, what had happened at the bar had scared him, but being jerked around so much had made nausea bubble up in his throat, and he didn’t know how much longer he had until his precarious balance deserted him entirely, so he just swayed in Tony’s grip, blinking rapidly as he tried to focus on his face.

And then Happy came to his rescue for the second time that night.

“Boss, Boss,” Happy cautioned, reaching around Peter to put a restraining hand on Tony’s shoulder, “take it easy.”

Tony’s eyes flickered away from Peter for the first time, anger burning inside them: bright and uncontrolled. “Don’t tell me to take it fucking easy. Do you see what he did? He could’ve-”

“I know, Tony, I know. And I’m pissed at him, too, but look at him. He’s plastered. You’re not helping anything by shouting at him in this state.”

Peter realized that he should’ve felt an extra twinge of shame at Happy’s words, but all he really focused on was the relief of Tony’s face melting, his grip gentling on his arms.

He brought a hand up to Peter’s cheek, swiping his thumb underneath his eye. “Hey, hey.” Tony’s voice cracked a little, and it was all the apology that was needed. The fire was gone, and Peter could deal with the coals. “Are you alright, buddy?”

“Feel gross,” he admitted, swallowing compulsively, trying to keep everything he’d drank at that bar solidly in his stomach on not on the living room floor.

“I bet. You look like you drank a liquor store.” Tony’s hands slid down his arms, over his chest. He pressed down on his ribs, checking them. “Are you hurt?”

“No.”

Tony shot a questioning glance Happy’s way, and the man shook his head. “Kid’s telling the truth. He’s fine. The assholes just pinned him against the bar. Don’t think they had any plans outside of taking Tony Stark’s kid as some kind of sick conquest.”

“Oh, yeah,” Tony snarled, and Peter could feel the man’s anger bubbling back up. He didn’t really mind, though, because this time it wasn’t directed at him, “then they’re just a bunch of stand-up fucking citizens, Hap.”

Happy let out a sigh, and although Peter had closed his eyes against a sudden wave of dizziness, he could imagine him holding up his hands in submission. “Just take him to bed, Tony,” Happy said, voice low. “Everything else can wait until the morning.”

“Yeah, yeah.” There was a pause. Peter didn’t open his eyes. “Hap, I want you to have those assholes arrested on whatever you can. Harassment, underage drinking, whatever you can get, you get, y’hear me?”

“Already on it.”

“Good.” Peter felt Tony slide an arm around his waist, coaxing him towards the stairs. “Now if you’ll excuse me, Happy, I’m going to take the child to bed and think of all the different ways I’m going to kill him in the morning.”

“Have fun.”

“Will do.”

They were halfway to Peter’s room before he found the presence of mind to speak, eyes still squeezed shut as he fought back wave after wave of lightheadedness. “I didn’… I didn’ mean t’…”

“Shh. We don’t have to do this now.” There was a click of his bedroom door opening, and only a few more steps before Tony was sitting him down on the bed. “I’m gonna pull your jeans off, okay? Don’t get weird about it, cause that’d just be embarrassing for the both of us.”

He must’ve drifted off after that, because the next thing he knew, he was just wearing a t-shirt and his boxers, and he’d been tucked underneath his comforter. The mattress sank a little as Tony sat next to him, and he heard the man sigh heavily, as if the weight of the universe was resting on his shoulders all over again.

He lifted his head a little, blinking up at Tony owlishly. “Wha’?”

Tony shushed him, running his thumb down the side of his face, and Peter drunkenly decided that he should really let Tony baby him more often. He liked being independent, sure, but he liked this, too. Liked being taken care of. Liked the gentle way Tony was rubbing his back. Liked feeling nice and warm and protected.

“Easy, bud,” Tony murmured. “I’m sticking around to make sure that you don’t choke on your own vomit. I’m a real nice guy like that.”

He didn’t really know how to process that, so he just slurred out a little thank you.

For some reason, that made Tony laugh. “Anytime, kid.” There were a few beats a silence. ���Anytime.”

Peter was mostly asleep again by the time Pepper came in. He didn’t even know she was in the room until her voice floated over him.

“Tony?”

Tony’s tone was pitched low enough that he must’ve assumed that Peter was already asleep. “Hey, Pep.”

“Hey, honey. Is he okay?”

“He’s fine. Just drunk.”

“Nothing happened?”

There was an anguish in Tony’s voice that made Peter’s stomach twist. “Something… Something almost happened, but no. Happy got there in time.”

“Oh, thank god.”

“No, thank Ned. He was the one who realized something was wrong and hit the kid’s panic button. A panic button that he’d left at the table, by the way.”

“Tony, shh. The kids are sleeping.”

“Right. Yeah. Fuck.”

Silence. For a while, Peter half thought that Pepper must’ve gone back to bed.

“Are you gonna stay with him?”

“Yeah,” Tony muttered.

More silence. More breathing. More time for Peter to disjointedly ponder how badly he’d screwed this one up.

“Nothing happened, honey,” Pepper whispered. “He’s just fine.”

“This time, Pep. Nothing happened this time.”

“Yeah,” she murmured, and Peter could feel her eyes on him. “Goodnight, Tony.”

“Goodnight, Pep.”

Once the door shut, Peter blinked his eyes open again. Tony just watched him passively, not offering any surprise at seeing him awake.

“‘M sorry,” he whispered.

The man snorted, slightly bitter. “I know. You always are, when you fuck up.”

“Are you g’nna yell at me?”

“Tomorrow,” Tony murmured. “You get a free pass tonight, so savor it. Well, savor it as much as you can, in this state.”

Peter couldn’t stop the rush of helplessness that made hot tears prick at the back of his eyes. He could see the anger lingering behind all of Tony’s soft words, soft touch. He knew that he’d pissed him off. Worse, he knew that he’d let him down.

“One m’re night for you t’ love me.”

Tony froze, gaze dragging over his face for a second before a tired sigh slipped through his lips. He brushed his hand over Peter’s hair, pushing his bangs up and away from his eyes. “I’m gonna let you in on a little secret, buddy. I always love you, even when I’m yelling. Maybe… Maybe especially when I’m yelling.”

He swallowed hard, a few tears spilling over and down his cheeks. He spoke slowly, carefully enunciating each word, but still blurring the edges a little. “I love you too, y’know. Even when ‘m not actually following all ‘f your rules.”

He got a little smile for that, and he could see the love there. The love, the dedication, the overwhelming drive to protect. There would never be anybody else on Earth who loved him as much as Tony did. Peter knew that. He just wished he appreciated it a little more.

“Please go to sleep now, Peter,” Tony finally said, sniffing hard. “I’m tired of seeing you drunk.”

And because it was the least he could offer, Peter finally did as he was told.

--

Peter woke up, and Tony was still there.

It wasn’t surprising. It might’ve been, at one point, but not anymore. Certainly not after last night. While all his memories were a little blurred, a little dreamlike, he still remembered Tony’s face. The love, the fear. Tony loved him more than he deserved. Loved him in the same way May had: totally, completely, unconditionally.

Loved him even when he probably shouldn’t. Loved him even when it hurt to love him.

“Morning, sunshine,” Tony greeted. He was studying him passively, calmly taking in his squinted eyes and pained expression. “Head hurt?”

“Hng.” In his defense, eloquence was nearly impossible when your head was splitting in two. He tried to turn his face away from the light, pawing at his forehead in discomfort. “Ouch.”

Tony’s palm settled gently over his eyes, blocking out the offending brightness. A second later, his head was being propped up on a pillow and the rim of a glass was pressed against his lips.

“Yeah,” Tony said, voice overflowing with sympathy. “Here, Pepper brought you some spidey-strength Advil.”

He took the pills without complaint, but he only kept them down for all of five minutes before he was heaving them up into the trashcan that Tony held steadily beneath his chin.

He had a sneaking suspicion that this particular period of his life would not be fondly remembered by either him or Tony.

When Tony tried to coax him into eating some crackers, the last thing he wanted to do was put anything in his stomach, but he did it anyway. It was, he decided, mostly a cooperation born out of guilt, but his old mentor didn’t really seem to care either way.

Apparently, having something solid in his system helped a lot when it came to cushioning the meds, because the next dose stayed down. He rested with his head in Tony’s lap, dozing on and off, until the pain receded and the tightness in his throat finally lessened.

“Feeling better?” Tony asked, despite the fact that Peter was pretty sure he hadn’t given any visible sign of his discomfort abating. He just chalked it up to one of the man’s weird parent senses.

“Yeah,” he rasped, sitting up slowly. The world didn’t spin, and his head didn’t scream with pain. Score one for him, then. “Yeah. I kinda feel like a human again.”

“Good. Then c’mon,” Tony said, gently tugging at Peter’s shirt, “grab some pants, and let’s go downstairs.”

He followed the orders dutifully, even though he knew that he was being led towards a chopping block.

The other half of their little family was already in the living room, going about their mornings as if last night had never even happened. Pepper was sitting on the couch, flipping through a book, while Morgan had a bunch of stuffed animals spread out on the floor. It looked like she’d set them up in a battle formation, with the bears facing off against the rabbits.

Tony cleared his throat, and both girls looked up at them, Morgan with excitement and Pepper with relief. 

“Pepper, honey,” Tony tightened his grip on Peter’s arm, “why don’t you take Morgan to the park? Or to the store? Go do something fun.”

Pepper nodded, understanding in her eyes, while Morgan perked up.

“Can Peter come?”

“No, he cannot,” Tony said, voice sharp, and it was the first time he’d snapped all morning. It was a little like watching storm clouds roll in: Peter knew that his calm before the thunder was waning rapidly. “Your brother’s in trouble.”

Peter pulled away from Tony and collapsed against the couch with a groan. “Oh, god. I’m so screwed, aren’t I?” He looked over to Pepper, pleading without any real expectation of savoir. “Please. Don’t leave me. He’s not even gonna leave you a body to bury.”

Pepper’s face softened, and she gently sent Morgan away to put on her shoes before giving him her full attention, running a light hand over his head. “Sorry, honey, but you do deserve this one, unfortunately.” She leaned over, kissed his temple, then whispered softly in his ear, quiet enough that only he could hear. “He only yells because he loves you, and you scared him. You can’t do that, and he’s trying to make you understand.”

Then she stood, slipped on her shoes, grabbed Morgan’s hand, and left him to his fate.

As soon as the front door clicked shut, Tony started pacing in front of the couch, jaw tight. Peter just sat there awkwardly, waiting.

He knew that Pepper was right. He did deserve Tony’s anger. He’d screwed up. He wasn’t too proud to admit that.

The thing that infuriated him, though, was that Tony was always so quick to point out the flaws in Peter’s actions, but he was never willing to admit fault in his own. He would shout at Peter, tell him that the rules were important, but he wouldn’t listen. Peter could talk and talk and talk, and it wouldn’t change a thing.

He was 19 years old and he didn’t have an ounce of control over his own life, and it made him feel cornered. Worse, it made him angry.

He’d never liked being angry.

“What happened?” Tony finally snapped, still pacing.

“I’m sure Happy told you what happened.”

“Yeah, but I wanna hear it from you.”

Of course he did. Tony wanted him to humiliate himself: to confess his sins, to plead for forgiveness. He wanted Peter to admit that it was all his fault, that the rules were important. To promise that he’d never do it again.

But… he just couldn’t do that, even if a tiny part of him really, really wanted to.

“I was drinking, okay?” Peter said, glaring. He hadn’t meant for the words to have so much bite to them, but there was no going back now. “I’m in college, and I wanted to go drinking with my friends. So I went, and I got drunk, because that’s what normal kids do, and-”

“And then it went wrong, right?” Oh. Oh shit. Tony’s hands were curled in fists, and he snarled the words out through clenched teeth. Peter’s defiance had set him off, apparently. He probably should’ve anticipated that. “It went wrong, because you think that you’re infallible. Because you sit here, and you tell me that you want to be independent, to be an adult, and then you do irresponsible shit like that and you prove to me that you’re still only a child.”

Peter hated that word, and Tony loved to throw it around because he knew that Peter hated it. It always felt so minimizing, like a dismissal.

“I’m not a child-”

“You are!” Tony shouted, then instantly sobered himself, letting out a slow breath and forcefully controlling his voice. “You are,” he continued, calmer. “I tell you not to drink in public. I’ve told you that over, and over, and over again. You can drink here all you want, Peter, you know that, and yet you decided to go off and be stupid, because you’re a child and children don’t like rules.”

“Yeah, well,” he muttered, hating that he was probably the picture of a sullen teenager in the wrong, hated that this is what Tony always managed to reduce him to, “you don’t like rules, either.”

“We’re not talking about me.”

“Why do adults always say that?”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Because our kids always try to twist this shit back around so they can avoid admitting that they screwed up. And you did, didn’t you, Peter? You screwed up. Your life would be a hell of a lot easier if you just admitted it, and apologized.”

Peter bit his lip, staring at his lap rather than meeting Tony’s anger-filled gaze. “I… I didn’t think-”

“Evidently not.”

“I’m sorry, okay?” Ouch. That hurt sober. Although, to be fair, maybe it didn’t hurt as much as he’d expected it to. “I am. I just wanted to go out with my friends. I swear that I wasn’t actively trying to do something stupid.”

His eyes flickered up just in time to catch Tony’s tiny nod. He could tell that he’d been forgiven, but the stiffness still hadn’t left the man’s shoulders, and he processed, for maybe the first time, that Pepper had been right. What he’d been interpreting as anger wasn’t actually anger at all. It was fear.

“I’m gonna up your protection,” Tony finally said, letting out a deep, measured breath.

Peter startled, indignation rising. “What? No!”

“Yes.”

“Mister Stark!”

Tony didn’t seem to give even the slightest notice to Peter’s protests. “Starting tomorrow.”

“I have to be on campus tomorrow, Mister Stark! I can’t just-”

“Well, you’ll have plenty of friends to walk you to class.”

Peter bolted to his feet, anger making it impossible to sit still. “I don’t want this, Tony!”

The outburst brought genuine shock to the man’s face, along with a half-hearted reprimand in the form on his name. Peter forgot, sometimes, that this wasn’t a person who was used to being disobeyed. There were only a handful of people alive who would dare snap at Tony Stark, and even the man himself seemed to forget that they existed.

“We talked about this!” He continued, ignoring all the warning bells in his brain telling him to hit the brakes. “I’m entitled to this part of my life. You… You don’t get to mess with college, you’re supposed to stay out of that-”

Whatever fumble had briefly destabilized Tony before was obviously over, and the anger was falling back into place. He glared Peter down, voice dripping with annoyance. “Oh, don’t be so dramatic. I’m allowing you this part of your life-”

“You’re allowing me to go to college? Oh, gee, thanks Tony. That’s just so nice of you-”

“Use that tone again, Parker. I’m actually daring you-”

He felt like screaming. He could talk until his throat went dry, and Tony still wouldn’t listen. “I’m entitled to a normal-”

“Oh, please, don’t be such a child, Peter. You’re not normal. I’m not normal. Morgan is not normal. None of this,” Tony waved his arms around the cabin, “is normal. You will never be normal.”

“Don’t say that! That’s not-”

“I know you don’t like it, but it’s the truth, Peter. Morgan understands it, so why can’t you?”

“Oh, please,” Peter said, crossing his arms defensively in front of his chest, “Morgan doesn’t understand, she’s just too young for it to matter yet. One day, when Happy’s breathing down her neck whenever she wants to go to the bathroom, she’ll have the same issues that I do.”

Tony rubbed tiredly at his forehead, like Peter was a headache that he was trying to ignore. “Happy’s job is to protect you.”

“And somebody tried to assassinate you last month,” Peter snapped, throat tightening at the memory. “Happy should worry about you getting shot.”

“Happy is worried about me getting shot. I’m worried about me getting shot.” Tony stalked forward, and there was something about his demeanor now that made all of Peter’s protests freeze on his tongue. “But that is nothing compared to how terrified we are of you. You scare the hell out of Happy, Peter, and you scare the hell out of me, too. My getting killed would be bad enough, but that is not the nightmare scenario here. The nightmare scenario, buddy,” Peter balked at the familiar nickname being aimed at him in such a rough tone of voice, “is you getting kidnapped.”

“I’m not going to get-”

“No, no, you’re going to shut up and listen to me now, alright?” Peter’s mouth clicked shut, eyes widening at the order. Tony just plowed on, voice rising with agitation as he spoke. “You go out to a bar, or a party at some club. Your friends are all drinking, so you do too, and the next thing you know, you’re so fucked up that you can barely think straight. Maybe you’re just young and dumb and you don’t know your own tolerance, or maybe someone slipped something into your drink. Either way, you’ll never know, because then you get up to go to the bathroom, and somebody comes up from behind, puts their hand over your mouth, and whisks you out the backdoor.”

Tony was right up in Peter’s space, then, and he wasn’t even afraid. He supposed that most people would be, with Iron Man staring at them like that. Except… Peter knew Tony. Knew him well enough to see the torment in his eyes, could hear the horrifying specificity in his words, and he knew that this was a scenario that Tony had played in his head over, and over, and over again. It was one of the nightmares that kept him up at night.

“You’re so petrified, because despite what you think, you’re just a child,” Tony snapped, voice breaking on the word, and Peter wasn’t so sure that he hated it all that much, anymore, “that you don’t even notice Happy’s body lying on the ground with a bullet hole in his head. Then you’re whisked away in a car. They beat you, they drug you, they duct tape your hands together and shove a gag in your mouth.”

Tony waved his hands around, borderline hysterical, breaths coming short and sharp. “It’s a big party, with lots of noise, and lots of people coming and going. And it’s a half hour before someone says, ‘Hey, where’s Peter?’ and it’s another fifteen minutes before the first phone call. Let’s throw in five minutes for me to find Happy’s body, and another ten to get over the shock. Another hour and a half at least before I can convince the State Department that it’s a serious enough emergency to even consider closing the airports. And now we’re off to the races.”

Tony grabbed Peter’s shoulders, shook him. “You’re tied to a chair in a cargo shack, somewhere in the middle of Uganda, and I’m told that I have 72 hours to get a bunch of terrorists in Syria a shipment of weapons that can kill thousands, and I’m fully prepared to do it because thousands of innocents, thousands of children are nothing compared to you, Peter. They’re nothing compared to my own child.”

There was something in Tony’s expression that was begging to be understood. Peter could feel the tension in his chest, could suddenly see why Tony was so strict about the rules, why Happy had looked scared out of his wits the night before.

He could see, and he hated it.

But Tony wasn’t done.

“And now I’m on the phone with every government official I can think of, pleading for them to give me permission to send the shipment, and all that any of them will tell me is, ‘I’m so sorry, Mister Stark, but the United States doesn’t negotiate with terrorists, period,’ and now we’ve got a new problem, because SI doesn’t have an owner, and the world no longer has an Avenger, it just has a father who’s out of his fucking mind because his child, his precious, precious child that he loves more than anything else in the universe is in a shack somewhere in Uganda with a gun to his head!” Tony’s voice shot up, and Peter flinched. It was the loudest Tony had ever shouted at him, the most forceful. “Do you get it now, Peter?! Do you understand?!”

“Yes,” he whispered, voice shaky. Every ounce of fight he’d had inside him had evaporated during Tony’s speech. Now, all he really wanted was for this whole thing to be over. He wanted to erase it, expunge it. More than anything, he wanted Tony to never look that unhinged again.

And before he could stop it, he was crying.

It wasn’t dramatic. It wasn’t like he was sobbing or anything, but there were definitely tears, and they were definitely coming from his eyes. Horror leapt across Tony’s face, and he jerked his hands away from Peter in a rush, staring down at them like he was seeing each line and curve for the first time. When he looked back up, Tony’s face had softened from foreign edges into the adoration that he had learned to depend on.

“Oh, Peter, I’m sorry.” Tony’s hand slid up from Peter’s shoulder, palm curving over his jaw. The gentle touch was jarring when compared to the previous conversation, but it was exactly what he needed in that moment. “That wasn’t fair.”

He felt small. Smaller than Morgan, even. Just… Just so, so small.

He wondered if that was what Tony saw whenever he looked into his eyes. Something small. Something delicate. Something that needed to be swaddled with security and panic buttons and protocols.

He wasn’t sure that he fully agreed, but he did think he might be starting to understand.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, letting Tony wipe away the tears dripping down his cheeks.

“It’s not.” Tony’s voice sounded a little broken, and Peter knew, somewhere deep down, that he was wallowing in the guilt that his own father left behind. He wished he wouldn’t do that, but he also knew that it was inevitable.

“You know,” Tony continued, voice gentle, coaxing, “I… I want you to have the things I didn’t have, buddy. I want you to have your freedom and your youth. I want you to have common, everyday experiences with kids your own age. There’s… There’s nothing I want more than that. But these things can be complicated, and you have to be safe. I know that the security sucks, Pete. I know it does. But if that’s the price we pay so that I can sleep at night, then we pay it. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

A small smile played on Tony’s lips, and he pulled Peter towards the couch. “C’mere. Sit with me for a sec.”

He let Tony guide him down, didn’t protest how closely they sat, didn’t protest the hand that refused to leave his face. He’d never wanted to upset Tony in the first place, just like he knew that Tony had never really wanted to upset him, either. Scare him a little, sure, but that wasn’t the same thing. Maybe it seemed like it to someone who didn’t understand, but it wasn’t.

“I know that this is hard for you,” Tony started, speaking slowly. Peter could tell that this would be a carefully arranged speech, but not an ingenuine one. “I know that this has been hard for you. And I hate being the bad guy, but… that’s what I have to be now. Sometimes, at least, even if neither of us like it very much.”

“I know.”

Tony smiled at him again, the kind of smile where his eyes crinkled at the corners and it was like staring at the man rather than the armor. Then, he tipped Peter’s head forward and brushed a quick kiss to the crown of his head. “You’re a really good kid, Pete. Just uh,” conflict flickered in the man’s eyes as he pulled back, “let’s take it easy on the drinking, yeah? I know that it’s tempting, but it’s not worth it. Your mind is so unique, Pete. Don’t make me watch you ruin it.”

“I won’t,” he promised, and he meant it.

“That’s my boy.”

Peter had always secretly liked when Tony claimed him like that. It’d stung a little, in the beginning, because if he was Tony’s kid, he wasn’t sure that he was still May’s, but now it was just… nice. A moment where he was Tony’s child, not his heir.

“Thank you,” he blurted.

Tony’s head tilted, expression soft and surprised. “What’re you thanking me for? Yelling at you?”

“No. For, well,” for looking after me, for loving me, for caring enough about me that you’d take the time to yell at me, “for being here.”

“Peter Parker,” Tony started, voice dripping with the kind of fake seriousness that he often used to mask the moments when he was actually being serious, “that has been, and continues to be, one of the great pleasures of my life.”

“Even when I’m drunk?”

Amusement sparked in Tony’s eyes. “Eh, alright. Maybe I can negotiate down on certain occasions…”

[cutie-satori]

SnK Shipping Meme

I did a hetalia shipping meme a while back on my main blog and decided to follow the same guide for an attack on titan one cause I am extremely passionate about these ships :S

Six Ships I Like Love

1. EruRi

2. JeanKasa

3. Reiner/Historia

4. JeanMarco

5. JeArmin

6. BeruAni

Three Pairings I Have Abandoned

7. YumiKuri

8. Springles

9. EreHisu

Three Pairings I Have Never Liked

10. Eren/Levi

11. Armin/Annie

12. Zeke/Levi

Two Ships that have piqued my interest

13. LeviHan

14. Mikasa/Armin

1. Why do you dislike #11 so much?

I don’t hate the ship between Armin and Annie- it’s more like I never understood it? This is the only ship out of the three that doesn’t make my skin crawl.

2. Who do you know that ships #13?

Manga readers- and it makes perfect sense to me. Honestly, I’m hoping this becomes endgame, they deserve happiness.

3. What would be your ideal scenario for couple #3?

Honestly? Reiner’s dying breath is taken after Historia kisses him. Give. That. Depressed. Man. A. FUCKING. Break. He’s been pining after his gorgeous queen for years. Give him a kiss or something, idk! Historia needs a break too. Another scenario that won’t happen cause Reiner will be dead, but he becomes Historia’s kid’s step dad and he’s the best dad in the world.

4. What is your favorite moment for #1?

Hard question. EruRi is so beautiful. It makes me feel so much. My next tattoo is going to be based off of them, so... let’s see. The scene where Erwin is sitting on the crate and Levi kneels is the most powerful moment in anime history. I sob every time I rewatch/reread it. Oh, and every single damn time Levi remembers his promise to Erwin about Zeke- oh my god. OR. The scene where Levi and Erwin are talking and Levi reaches out his hand cause Erwin says he’s going on the mission to retake Wall Maria despite being one arm short. I have spilled more tears for this couple than any other one-

5. How long have you been following couple #6?

Mmm, since s2 aired? That’s when I took a greater interest in Bertholdt and realized he had a huge crush on Annie.

6. What’s the story with #8? What made you stop caring?

Canon happened, Sasha and Niccolo were made for each other ;-;

7. Which do you prefer- #2 or #4?

Tough question. JeanKasa, a ship that still could be endgame, or JeanMarco, a sunken ship that’s ripples are still affecting Jean? Can I say whichever makes Jean happier?

8. You have the power to make one ship nonexistent- #10 or #12?

Eren/Levi. It disgusts me that a ship between a 15 year old and 32 year old is the most popular ship in the fandom. “Oh but Eren is 19 now!” I was there when this fandom was fucking BUILT. Fujoshis frothed at the MOUTH for this ship in the beginning, don’t try to defend it now. Disgusting. Levi is Eren’s idol, not his boyfriend. Also- people started shipping them when Levi beat him to a pulp to prove a point? Not to mention, Levi has had a billion more heartfelt conversations with Erwin and Hanji than Eren. Stop it. Stop it now. Eren/Levi is a disgusting ship. It is the Reigen/Mob of the snk fandom- the Tanjiro/Gyuu. Disgusting. DISGUSTING FIGHT ME THE SHIP IS GROSS. Legal age gaps don’t bother me, but minors with adults? Different story.

9. What interests you about #14?

Eren is trash, and Mikasa and Armin need each other more than ever before right now.

10. When did you stop liking #7?

After I started reading the manga? People realize this ship isn’t canon, right? Ymir loved Historia but Historia’s feelings were never clarified. Not by Isayama. So... idk. Personally I think Mikasa/Annie is a way better wlw pair.

11. Did your waning interest in #9 kill your interest in the series?

Nah

12. What’s a song that reminds you of #5?

Pieces by Red

13. Which of these ships do you love right now?

*laughs in EruRi*

14. Which do you dislike the most?

*gags in Eren / Levi*

15. If you could have any of these pairings double date, who would they be?

Hm. Maybe JeanKasa and BeruAni? They would bend over backwards for their dates, and Bertoldt is super nervous at first but Jean is like, don’t worry I got this, but as soon as he sees Mikasa he nearly dies of shock because “I love her so much she’s so gorgeous I don’t deserve him”. Then they see Reiner and Marco and freak out even more because they are bi disasters

16. Have #2 kissed yet? If yes, elaborate.

No, but Jean daydreams about their family and I’m- still not over that-

17. Did #4 have a happy ending? Do you think #1 is likely?

*sobs like a bitch in canon*

18. What would make you start shipping #13?

I’m a few chapters behind in the manga so maybe it happened, but if Levi was able to fulfill his promise to Erwin about killing Zeke then I would ship them fully. Until then, I think Levi is still attached to his commander.

19. If only one could happen, which would it be? #2 or #6?

JeanKasa all the way!

20. You have the power to decide the fate of #10, what happens to them?

The ship burns in hell, and Levi tells the fujoshis he is happy in his healthy relationship with Erwin Smith, thank you and goodnight.

[savvyherb]

At School, ‘Everyone Vapes,’ and Adults Are in Crisis Mode

CRYSTAL LAKE, Ill. — In Alabama, a school removed the doors from bathroom stalls to stop students from sneaking inside to vape. In Colorado, a school decided to forfeit a volleyball game after finding “widespread vaping” and other infractions by the team. And in Pennsylvania, at a school where administrators have tried installing sensors to detect vaping in bathrooms and locker rooms, students caught with vape devices face a $50 fine and a three-day suspension.

At least 530 people have been sickened by mysterious lung illnesses related to using e-cigarettes with nicotine or vaping THC, the psychoactive ingredient in marijuana, and at least eight have died. That has sent high schools, the epicenters of youth vaping, racing to give teenagers a new, urgent message: Vaping can be deadly.

Federal health officials have yet to pinpoint an exact cause of the recent illnesses, but the alarming pattern has put principals and teachers into crisis mode. They are holding assemblies to warn students about the dangers. They are getting creative with rules to make it harder for students to secretly vape in school bathrooms, hallways and even classrooms. They are trying to train parents and teachers on the wide array of vape devices, which look like pens or flash drives and which many adults do not even recognize.

During an assembly at one suburban Chicago high school this week, hundreds of students, many dressed in school colors of orange and black in honor of homecoming, saw an X-ray image of a young man’s lungs, cloudy and damaged, on an auditorium screen.

He had recently been hospitalized after vaping and placed in a medically induced coma for a week, a substance-abuse consultant told the students from a stage.

“His lungs are now that of a 70-year-old. He’s in his 20s,” the consultant, Ashleigh Nowakowski, said. “Can you imagine how that’s going to affect the rest of his life? He can’t run. He can’t play sports.”

The students watched solemnly. A few squirmed in their seats.

Is It Safe?

A guide to vaping and its risks.

Administrators at American high schools have long tried to warn students about the risks of vaping, which gained popularity several years ago as an alternative to cigarettes and works by heating liquid and turning it into vapor to be inhaled. But the outbreak of illnesses has brought new levels of urgency and attention to the issue. Students who had brushed off the warnings in the past, saying that vaping was relatively harmless, could no longer do so.

After the assembly, at Crystal Lake Central High School, 45 miles northwest of Chicago, some students said they were skeptical that vaping was as dangerous as the presentation suggested.

The students told of a high school ecosystem where vaping devices are easily obtained, and refill cartridges with THC oil, known as carts, are sold for $20 apiece. It is not uncommon, these students said, for seniors to sell vape pens to freshmen, eager to take up vaping.

Opportunities to vape discreetly are everywhere, they said — in an empty hallway, a bathroom stall or the back row of a classroom where a teacher cannot possibly monitor every student’s move. Older students said they tended to leave campus for lunch, vaping in their cars along the way.

“It’s rare to find someone who doesn’t do it,” said Alexis Padilla, 16, a junior. “You can’t go on social media without someone’s videos of them doing it.”

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Alexis Padilla, 16, Nyanah Bey, 17, and Sophia Scarfe, 17, talked about student vaping after a drug education program in Crystal Lake, Ill.CreditAlyssa Schukar for The New York Times

Last week, the Trump administration said it planned to ban most flavored e-cigarettes and nicotine pods, an attempt to curtail use among teenagers. States tend to regulate e-cigarettes like other nicotine products, and laws vary. At least a dozen states have passed laws restricting sales of e-cigarettes to young people; in Illinois, Arkansas and other states, the legal age for purchasing nicotine products, including e-cigarettes, is 21. In Texas, minors can be fined for possessing e-cigarettes.

But many teenagers sidestep the age restrictions by buying e-cigarettes online or from friends.

In one group of the Crystal Lake students — girls carrying patterned backpacks and wearing tattered Chuck Taylors — three said they personally knew people who had become seriously ill after vaping.

One friend who had vaped nicotine for two years using a Juul, the dominant seller in the market, was hospitalized with a respiratory lung defect, but has recovered, one student said. Another girl who vaped regularly suddenly could not breathe one day, the students said, and she now has to use an inhaler every four hours.

Sophia Scarfe, a 17-year-old senior, said her parents routinely sent her news articles about the dangers of vaping. Many students have moved beyond vaping nicotine, she said, routinely using THC oils instead. “Vaping anything else other than nicotine is way more common,” she said.

Alcohol is still widely consumed among teenagers, they said. But “vaping is the big thing,” said Nyanan Bey, 17, a senior.

One student openly laughed when she heard a widely cited statistic from the 2019 National Youth Tobacco Survey that estimated that one in four youths between the ages of 12 and 17 have tried vaping nicotine or THC at least once.

“Yeah, that’s too low,” she said. “Literally everyone vapes.”

Health officials suspect that vaping-related illnesses and deaths are underreported, and that doctors have only recently begun to connect vaping to mysterious lung ailments.

And educators said they were beginning to grapple with the reality that a new generation of American teenagers, one that would be loath to pick up cigarettes, is now addicted to nicotine through vaping.

There is nothing out of the ordinary about the students at Crystal Lake Central, a school of 1,500 students, said Steve Greiner, student services coordinator.

“The kids in our school are like any other school,” he said. “People are really starting to realize, ‘Holy cow, this was seen as the answer to our prayers to get people off cigarettes.’ Now it’s turned into this.”

Administrators there have stationed teachers in the hallways between classes to deter vaping. Some have worried that Crystal Lake is only 30 miles from a town in Wisconsin where the police this month said they uncovered an illegal vape-pen factory that was producing 3,000 cartridges of THC-laced oil a day, with a distribution network that is believed to have been extensive.

At a separate informational session for teachers in the auditorium after school on Wednesday, another substance-abuse consultant guided teachers through the world of teenage vaping. The numbers “710” — which spell “oil” upside down — are a code for vaping, the consultant explained. Vaping devices might be found in unlikely, out-of-view places — inside the cord of a hoodie or dangling from a key chain. “Girls sew them into their jeans, next to the zipper,” Dave Shutters, the dean of students, added.

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Teachers and staff at Crystal Lake Central High School listened as consultants described ways students hide drug use, including the use of nicotine and cannabis in vape pens.CreditAlyssa Schukar for The New York Times

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Teachers, including Audrey Mazzuca, a science and math teacher, were guided on what to look for.CreditAlyssa Schukar for The New York Times

In Crystal Lake, the typical response to a student caught vaping is counseling and other efforts to provide information about the dangers. Some schools have tried vaping support groups.

At Nerinx Hall, an all-girls Catholic school in the St. Louis area, students are planning a peer-driven “amnesty week,” where they hope to make an “emotional appeal” to one another and offer a chance to dump vaping equipment at a secure drop-off location, said Meta Stephens, the senior class treasurer.

“We really want it to be no pressure: You will not get in trouble for this,” said Ms. Stephens, 17, who is helping plan the event this fall. “We really just want to help you stop if you want to.”

Sarah Mervosh contributed reporting from New York.

Vaping and Illness

The latest on the outbreak.

Vaping Illnesses Increase to 530 Probable Cases, C.D.C. Says

Sept. 19, 2019

Vaping Bad: Were 2 Wisconsin Brothers the Walter Whites of THC Oils?

Sept. 15, 2019

1 in 4 Youths Has Vaped. Will State Bans Do Anything?

Sept. 17, 2019

The post At School, ‘Everyone Vapes,’ and Adults Are in Crisis Mode appeared first on Savvy Herb Mobile Cannabis Platform.

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[bella-narchy]

BLACK LIVES MATTER

They mattered before the trend and they’ll keep mattering once the trend ends. We have to educate ourselves in order to do better - we need to do better. Be better. We may stumble, we may make mistakes along the way, but that’s okay, we’re learning. Learning isn’t linear. As long as you’re learning, evolving and fighting to make the world a safe space for everyone, you’re on the right path.

Here are a bunch of links to Petitions, Donations, Hot Lines, Books, Podcasts, etc... anything and everything so you can support the movement and educate yourself too:

Petitions:

If you are international and are unable to sign any of these, here are some zip codes you can use

90015 - Los Angeles, California

10001 - New York City, New York

75001 - Dallas, Texas

When it comes to petitions keep in mind that if you have more than one email you can sign more than once; also, white house petitions don’t do much. They were only effective under Obama’s administration, but aren’t so much under Trump’s as they aren’t obligated to give a statement after 100k signature.

#DefundThePolice

Defund MPD

Fire Racist Criminal from the NYPD

Get the Officers Charged

Charge All Four Officers

Life Sentence For Police Brutality

Censorship of Police Brutality in France

Pass the Goergia Hate Crime Bill

Hands Up Act

National Action Agaisnt Police Brutality

Abolish Prison Labor

Stand with #BLM

Movement for Black Lives

Mandatory Racial Bias Test

Junk Terror Bill

Get Schools to Speak Up

Police De-Escalation Training

Immigrants Being Poisoned by ICE

The Trayvon Martin Law

Working Conditions for Black People in Italy

Defund Police in Dallas

Enact Civilian Oversight of RPD

Require Dash/Body Cams in King County

Defund the Police

Classify White Supremacists as Terrorists

Defung SDPD

Washington State Police Accountability

Illegal Export of Riot Equipment

Ban/Restrict Tear Gas

Knock Down Slave Market Center

Black Trans Women UK

Reject Trump’s Violence Towards Protesters

Make Police Brutality Illegal

Teach Black History In UK

Migrant Domestic Workers in Lebanon

End Systemic Racism

Make KKK Illegal

Donations:

Do not donate to Shaun King, or change.org (on the latter, the money is kept by change.org, it does not go to the causes, however the petitions work wonderfully). The following list contains only places were international payment is accepted.

BLM Fund

BLM LA Fund

Black Trans Women Fund

Reclaim the Block

North Star Health Collective

ACLU

The Marshall Project

NAACP Legal Defense Fund

Loveland Therapy Fund

Lake Street Cleanup

Rebuild Native American Youth Center

Cambodia Town Relief Fund

National Bail Fund Network

Unicorn Riot Fund

Black Owned Businesses Atlanta

Black Mental Health Matters:

Black Emotional and Mental Health Crisis Hotline

The Association of Black Psychologists

Crisis Text Line

The Love Land Foundation

The Boris Henson Foundation

Sista Afya Community Mental Wellness

Black Mental Wellness

LGBTQ+ Psychologists of Color

Melanin & Mental Health

Family Paths

Nami

The Safe Place App

National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network

Ethal’s Club

Black Mental Health Alliance

The Unplug Collective

Dive In Well

YouTube Videos, Film & Television:

A BLM Documentary

A debate that puts things in perspective

breakdown of all lives matter

background info of BLM

a little girl gives a speech on BLM

Systemic Racism Explained

YouTube video of Robin DiAngelo discussing White Fragility

“Dear White Friend: You Need to Take a Side”

TED Talk: What My Coloring Book Taught Me About Racism

Rachel Cargle’s TED Talk: Coming to Terms With Racism’s Inertia

Why Rioting Makes Sense

Why White People Need to Use Their Bodies to Defend Black People

Just Mercy

When They See Us

Dear White People

Beasts of the Southern Wild

Selma

Mudbound

12 Years a Salve

Moonlight

The Hate You Give

I Am Not Your Negro

The Blood of Jesus

Within Out Gates

Harriet

Do the Right Thing

Daughters of the Dust

Killer of Sheep

The Learning Tree

Boyz n the Hood

Sidewalk Stories

Fruitvale Station

Hidden Figures

Fences

13th

The Great Debaters

Miracle at St. Anna

Straight Outta Compton

Pariah

Antwone Fisher

Dreamgirls

Black Panther

Blackish

Insecure

Empire

Scandal

All American

Atlanta

Marshall

Monsters and Men

Middle of Nowhere

Mississippi Burning

A Time to Kill

To Kill a Mockingbird

Corrina Corrina

Burning Cane

The Black Power Mixtape

The Black Panthers

Time: the Kalief Browder Story

Rest in Power: The Trayvon Martin Story

Stranger Fruit

POSE

Read a Little… or a LOT:

In Defense of Looting - Vicky Osterweil

White Witness and the Contemporary Lynching - Zoé Samudzi

Black is Crime: Notes on Blaqillegalism - Dubian Ade

A Guide to Allyship

There’s No Such Think as a Pretty Protest - Tirhakah Love

7 Ways We Know Systemic Racism Is Real

How White Feminists Oppress Black Women: When Feminism Functions as White Supremacy

Guide by Rachel Cargle explaining the relationship between white feminism and black women

How to Talk to Kids About Racial Violence and Police Brutality

We Need More White Parents to Talk to Their Kids About Race. Especially Now.

Resources from The Conscious Kid

Are Your Kids Too Young to Talk About Race?

Not My Idea: A Book About Whiteness - Anastasia Higginbotham

How to Tell Someone You Love They’re Being Racist

How to Communicate With Racist Family Members

How to Talk to Your Family About Racism

Here’s What to Say to Racist Family Members During the Holidays

What Exactly is a Microaggression?

Microaggressions don’t just ‘hurt your feelings’

Crook County: Racism and Injustice in America’s Largest Criminal Court - Nicole Gonzalez Van Cleve

Justy Mercy - Bryan Stevenson

The Hate U Give - Angie Thomas

The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness - Michelle Alexander

The Autobiography of Malcolm X

Their Eyes Were Watching God - Zora Neale Hurston

The Color Purple - Alice Walker

Women, Race and Class - Angela Yvonne Davis

Policing the Planet: Why the Policing Crisis Led to Black Lives Matter - Multiple

Tears We Cannot Stop - Michael Eric Dyson

Between the World and Me - Ta-Nehisi Coates

The Origin of Others - Toni Morrison

Heavy - Kiese Laymon

Brown Boy - Daphnie Glenn

75 Things White People Can Do for Racial Justice - Corinne Shutack

How White Womens’ Tears Threaten Black Existence - Cameron Glover

When Feminism is White Supremacy in Heels - Rachel Cargle

The Souls of White Folk - Stephen Jamal Leeper

What do we do with white folks? - Anthony James William

White People Have No Culture - Lorena Wallace

White Fragility - The Conscious Kid

Trump Defends White-Nationalist Protesters: ‘Some Very Fine People on Both Sides’ - Rosie Gray

Discourse & Debate: Is performative activism inherently bad? - Kayla Abrams

Amy Cooper, White Spaces, and the Political Projection of Whiteness - Wear Your Voice Magazine

The White Space - Elijah Anderson

This Is What Black Burnout Feels Like - Tiana Clark

Amy Cooper Knew Exactly What She Was Doing - Zeba Blay

Why I’m no longer talking to white people about race - Renni Eddo-Lodge

Black Lives Matter & COVID-19: An Activist Roundtable - Aislinn Pulley, brian bean, Frank Chapman, Damon Williams, Alyx Goodwin, Todd St. Hill, Khury Petersen-Smith, Haley Pessin

We’re Sick of Racism, Literally - Douglas Jacobs

Letter From a Birmingham Jail - Martin Luther King, Jr.

If Beale Street Could Talk and the Urgency of Black Love - Hannah Giorgis

Embracing Sadness When Joy & Rage Are the Only Options the World Offers to Black People - Zhailon Levingston

How White People Can Hold Each Other Accountable to Stop Institutional Racism - Elly Belle

What the Prison-Abolition Movement Wants - Kim Kelly

I’m Not Black, I’m Kanye - Ta-Nehisi Coates

1619 Project - New York Times compilation on the lasting legacy of slavery in the US

The Black Family in the Age of Mass Incarceration - Ta-Nehisi Coates

The Case for Reparations - Ta-Nehisi Coates

Where is the outrage for Breonna Taylor? - Renee Nishawn Scott

Forget “Looting.” Capitalism is the Real Robbery - William C. Anderson

A Timeline of the Events That Led to the 2020 Uprising - Michael Harriot

Why Protest? (Zine) - Chicago Prison Industrial Complex (PIC) Teaching Collective

America, This is Your Chance - Michelle Alexander

How Do We Change America? - Keeanga Yamahtta-Taylor

44 Mental Health Resources for Black People Trying to Survive in This Country - Zahra Barnes

What Kind of Society Values Property Over Black Lives? - Robin Kelly

Business of Fashion 500 is now 499. - Kerby Jean-Raymond

What It’s Really Like to Be Black and Work in Fashion - Lindsay Peoples Wagner

Model Minority’ Myth Again Used as a Racial Wedge Between Asians and Blacks - Kat Chow

20+ Allyship Actions for Asians to Show Up for the Black Community Right Now - Michelle Kim

6 Ways Asian Americans Can Tackle Anti-Black Racism in Their Families - Kim Tran

The Asian American Reply to Pandemic-Era Racism Must Be Cross-Racial Solidarity - Kelsey Liu and Monica Hahn

Mariame Kaba: Everything Worthwhile Is Done with Other People - Eve L. Ewing interviewing Mariame Kaba

Free Us All - Mariame Kaba

The Wretched of the Earth - Frantz Fanon

Pedagogy of the Oppressed - Paulo Freire

Assata: An Autobiography - Assata Shakur

#8ToAbolition - Site with 8 demands for abolition

Abolition Cannot Wait: Visions for Transformation and Radical World-Building - K. Agbebiyi, Sarah T. Hamid, Rachel Kuo and Mon Mohapatra

By the end of his life, Martin Luther King realized the validity of violence - Hanif Abdurraqib

Yes, We Literally Mean Abolish the Police - Mariame Kaba

How Videos of Police Brutality Traumatize African-Americans and Undermine the Search for Justice - Kia Gregory

What to Do Instead of Calling the Police - Aaron Rose

The Case for Delegitimizing the Police - William C. Anderson

Abolish the Police? - Maya Dukmasova

Alternatives to the Police - Evan Dent, Molly Korab, Farid Rener

Calling Someone Other Than the Cops - Conor Friedersdorf

finding ways not to call the police

Twitter Flags Trump, White House for ‘glorifying violence’ in George Floyd protest tweets - Travis Pittman

Desert Sun ‘looting’ quote source

Abolish the Police (Part 1 and Part 2) - brian bean

How to Safely and Ethically Film Police Misconduct - Palika Makam

11 Things You Can Do to Help Black Lives Matter End Police Violence - Lincoln Anthony Blades

Abolish the Police. Instead, Let’s Have Full Social, Economic, and Political Equality. - Mychal Denzel Smith

The Myth of Police Reform - Ta-Nehisi Coates

Community Safety Looks Like…

Project NIA

Summer Heat - Mariame Kaba

Check in on Your Black Employees, Now - Tonya Russell

Rebellions Get Results: A List So Far - brian bean

Where Bail Funds Go From Here - Jia Tolentino

How The Police Could Be Defunded - Alexis Okeowo

Curriculum for White Americans to Educate Themselves on Race and Racism - Jon Greenberg

Anti-Oppression: Anti-Racism Guide - Simmons University

SURJ (Showing Up for Racial Justice)

Whiteaccomplices.org Resources

Taking a Stand Against Police Violence

Antiracism resources for white people

JusticeforBreonna

Abolitionist Resources

Critical Resistance

Antiracism Resources

GoodGoodGood

Resource Guide: Prisons, Policing, and Punishment - Micah Herskind

Transform Harm - Mariame Kaba

Fumbling Towards Repair: A Workbook for Community Accountability Facilitators - Mariame Kaba and Shira Hassan

The Fire Next Time - James Baldwin

Indigenous Peoples’ History of the United States - Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz

How to be an Antiracist - Ibram X. Kendi

Pushout: the Criminalization of Black Girls in Schools - Monique W. Morris

From #BlackLivesMatter to Black Liberation - Keeanga Yamahtta-Taylor

As Black as Resistance - Zoe Samudzi

When Affirmative Action was White - Ira Katznelson

So You Want to Talk About Race - Ijeoma Oluo

White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism - Robin DiAngelo

The New Jim Crow - Michelle Alexander

Freedom is a Constant Struggle - Angela Davis

Women, Race and Class - Angela Davis

Sister Outsider - Audre Lorde

Your Silence Will Not Protect You - Audre Lorde

Beloved - Toni Morrison

The Bluest Eye - Toni Morrison

Song of Soloman - Toni Morrison

Who do you serve? Who do you protect? - Alicia Garza, Joe Macaré, Maya Schenwar, and Alana Yu-lan Price

Captive Genders: Trans Embodiment and the Prison Industrial Complex - Eric A. Stanley

Race Matters - Cornel West

How We Get Free: Black Feminism and the Combahee River Collective - Keeanga Yamahtta-Taylor

Crunk Feminist Collection - Brittney Cooper, Susana M. Morris and Robin M. Boylorn, Crunk Feminist Collective

They Can’t Kill Us All - Wesley Lowry

Racism Without Racists - Eduardo Bonilla-Silva

This Bridge Called My Back - Compilation, edited by Cherrie Moraga and Gloria Anzaldua

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings - Maya Angelou

Redefining Realness - Janet Mock

Their Eyes Were Watching God - Zora Neale Hurston

The Warmth of Other Suns - Isabel Wilkerson

Black Against Empire: The History and Politics of the Black Panther Party - Joshua Bloom

Just Mercy - Bryan Stevenson

Invisible No More: Police Violence Against Black Women and Women of Color - Andrea Ritchie

Jackson Rising: The Struggle for Economic Democracy and Black Self-Determination in Jackson, Mississippi - Kali Akuno and Ajamu Nangwaya

The End of Policing - Alex Vitale

On Being White - James Baldwin

The Invisible Weight of Whiteness: the Racial Grammar of Everyday Life in Contemporary America - Eduardo Bonilla-Silva

Race, Power & Policy: Dismantling Structural Racism - the Grassroots Policy Project

Words Matter: Thoughts on Language and Abolition - Critical Resistance Abolition Toolkit Workgroup

White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack - Peggy McIntosh

Anti-Racist Lesson Plans & Resources for Educators - Compilation

Here Are 21 Free Resources for Teaching Social Justice in the Classroom - Megan DeMatteo

Children’s books that discuss race and racism - @wanderingbritt_ (twitter thread)

Your Kids Aren’t Too Young to Talk About Race: Resource Roundup - Katrina Michie

Racial Equity Tools Glossary - Racial Equity Tools (key terms in discussing racism)

Where Do I Begin?: A 28-day reading plan for white and non-black POC (people of color) aspiring allies - Amy Sanchez

How to be a better ally to Black people, reading guide by level - Victoria Alexander (Facebook Post)

Anti-Racism For Kids 101: Starting To Talk About Race

Here’s How W. Kamau Bell Talks About Race With His Kids

100 Race-Conscious things you can say to your child to advance racial justice

Article on Raising Race-Conscious Children

4 Things We Should All Teach Kids About Racism Right Now

Teaching Tolerance: Race & Ethnicity

No White Saviors: Kids Books About Black Women in US History

How Kids Learn Prejudice

Even Babies Discriminate: A Natureshock Excerpt

Podcasts:

About Race

Code Switch

The Nod

The Stakes

Scene on Radio: Seeing White Series

The Heart: Race Traitor Series

United States of Anxiety

Shine Brighter Together

Listen to the movement on spotify: “WE’LL REST WHEN WE’RE FREE”