#“Just like when I called my wife a bitch and she left-”
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Beyond Probability JJK (m.)
summary: Matching with an idol? Unlikely. But with a 99% compatibility? Beyond probability. pairing: idol!Jungkook x f!reader genre: idolvers, S2L, fluff, smut rating: 18+, MDNI! warnings: fluff, fluff, a bit of self doubt, fluff, fluff, explicit sexual content, shower sex, unprotected sex, pls lmk if I forgot smth word count: ~ 4k
a/n: It’s a rly cute and short oneshot, light and mainly fluff, nothing too deep, no big words etc this time. Just had to get it out of my system since the idea’s been on my mind for months now (unedited bc I fell ill halfway through writing it 🤒)
a/n 2: This work is purely fictional. All characters and events are entirely imaginary and do not reflect reality. No translations are allowed without permission. Thank you for understanding! 💕
Your biological clock’s ticking—has been for some years now—and even though you’re only now nearing 30, you’re painfully aware that the life you pictured as a kid might never come true.
It’s not like you’re unstable in who you are or what you’re doing. You’re fairly successful at your job, you’ve got your own place, and you’re more social than most people these days. Still, you’re only what most would call average-looking, and even though you’ve got a good career, you’re too soft to keep it up forever. You picture yourself more as a loving wife and mother than a corporate boss bitch climbing the ladder of success.
That’s also why your dating life has been rocky all along. Men see what you put out there, but they don’t like who you really are or what you want from life, which has left you single for most of it.
So, when a new project starts—after the K-pop industry finally acknowledges that idols need partnerships and a life of their own, and fans finally understand that these people are human too, that they deserve to experience love and happiness like everyone else—you decide to take your chances too.
Funnily enough, all the labels have teamed up, hiring not only the best scientists and psychologists from Korea but from around the world to create a program that can find ideal matches for their idols. Sure, science shouldn’t determine who you fall in love with, but… what if it could?
After being pre-selected—just to confirm you’re not some crazed fan—you’ve spent over two weeks going through tests. Recorded interviews, personality assessments, even physical evaluations… now you’re staring at your company’s computer screen, listening to Dr. Song explain the results through the phone.
“Ninety-nine percent?”
“Yes. The chances of such a high compatibility score are next to impossible. We see it as a perfect match and would like to introduce you to your match.”
“Sure, of course.” Even though your voice is steady, you can feel your nerves flaring up like never before.
“Is tomorrow at 8 p.m. alright for you?”
“Yes, that works for me.”
“Perfect, we’ll see you then.”
Well, joke’s on you, you didn’t expect this outcome.
Meeting an idol feels surreal, and the closer you get to 8 p.m. the next day, the more you can feel the anxiety and doubts inside you rising. Every last detail in Dr. Song’s calm, clinical rundown replays in your mind, the ninety-nine percent match, the endless rounds of testing, the surreal realisation that, somehow, all those numbers and algorithms miraculously spat out a name next to yours.
You want to trust that there’s a reason for this, that somehow science isn’t just working with chance, but the tension of actually meeting someone this special is so overwhelming you barely notice yourself entering the lab building until you’re standing outside Dr. Song’s office.
“Right on time,” she chirps, giving you an approving nod. She seems to sense your nerves, and as she leads you down a hallway you’ve never been before, she gives you a reassuring smile. “I know this is all a lot. But he’s likely feeling the same way. The tests told us that he’s, well, quite like you.”
Her words would make you laugh in any other situation, though disbelief and a strange kind of comfort floods through you still. Like you. An idol, standing here in a lab somewhere to meet some random stranger, feeling just as out of place as you. You’re not sure of that but still like to think it must be true.
You don’t have time to process it fully before you’re led into a quiet room with yellowish walls so plain they almost blur in the corners of your vision, a low, comfortable couch and a couple of chairs standing there and none of the lab equipment that surrounded you in the testing rooms all those weeks ago.
And then you spot him, sitting on the couch, alone. He stands the second you walk in, hands half in his pockets, a slight, almost unsure smile grazing his lips as he glances down at you. He’s got that casual look about him, the same dark eyes you’ve seen a hundred times on a screen that somehow feel warmer and more human here.
He looks not quite better than he does on screen, but not worse either. Somehow, he’s realer, if that’s a word—close enough that you can see the little flecks of colour in his irises, the slight tension in his posture, the faintest trace of nerves hiding under his composure.
“Hi.” Jungkook’s voice is lower, softer than you expect from an idol. “Nice to meet you, I’m Jungkook.”
“Nice to meet you too. I’m ___.” There’s a pause, and you can tell he’s just as unsure what to do with the space between you two as you are. The click of the door makes you turn around briefly, only to realise Dr. Song has left you both alone. “This is, um, weird, right?”
He nods, a quick, breathy laugh breaking through. “Very. I mean, this isn’t exactly a ‘normal’ kind of meeting, right?”
His words are awkward but disarming, and suddenly, you’re aware of all the tiny, meticulous details of him that somehow make him feel more relatable than his polished, on-screen persona. The way his hand keeps moving to rub against his thigh or abs, his tongue playing with his lips and piercing ever so slightly—everything about him is familiar but also somehow close enough to feel completely new.
“I don’t think I was ready for this,” you admit. You aren’t really talking to him but more like letting your own thoughts slip out in the safest way possible, like saying it makes it feel less absurd.
“Honestly, same.” He laughs, and you think there’s a light flutter in your chest now. “I kept thinking about this whole ninety-nine percent thing. Like… how does that even work? Isn’t it supposed to feel, I don’t know, obvious? Like you know the moment you see someone?”
You nod, understanding exactly what he means, and somehow you move on autopilot, walking towards him and sitting down on that couch with him beside you. It feels like you should both somehow know, like there’s a sign or an instant connection, something that would make all of this feel simple, easy. But it’s just the two of you in a quiet room, barely knowing each other, held together by nothing but a number on a report.
“Yeah, that’s so wild. I didn’t think I’d have a match, this close to a hundred even less. Might be a glitch if our score is this high.”
Jungkook nods with sparkling eyes, seemingly relieved by your honesty and humour. “Yeah, I get that. I kept thinking about it too. Wondering if maybe the tests were wrong, or maybe I was just…thinking too much.” He lets out a sigh, his gaze meeting yours for a long, meaningful second. “But I think maybe this is about finding out, right? Not having it all make sense right away.”
“Hm, makes sense.” You giggle, because what else can you do in the presence of him.
The two of you sit there in a momentary silence, as if testing each other, feeling out the small boundaries that keep you both distant.
“So, what did the report tell you about me?” You ask the question half-jokingly, trying to break the quiet, but also curious. You want to know what he knows, how much of this supposed ninety-nine percent compatibility is actually something that either of you feel.
He lets out a silent breath, looking down as if slightly embarrassed. “Honestly, not as much as you’d think. They told me you were kind of… soft-spoken but resilient? And that you have a job that’s, uh, stable and…” He trails off, the tips of his ears slightly pink, like he’s embarrassed to keep going.
“And?” You can’t help but push further—not maliciously, just way too curious and playful for your own good. Jungkook’s expression shifts from embarrassed to surprised, and then to a look that’s just as playful.
“And that we’re, apparently, very much sexually compatible.”
Really, you should be the one feeling embarrassed or shy now, but you can’t help the laugh that slips out. You know exactly what he’s hinting at—your report clearly showed the same.
“Well, it might be not wrong. And they told me…” You pause, realising that you barely remember the details in the face of the reality in front of you but alas. “They said you’d be a good match because, I think, there was something about humour?”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “Humour? Never heard of it.” And it makes you laugh all over again. “I feel like they just told us things we’d want to hear, to make it seem easier and normal.”
His words hit close to home, but they’re strangely comforting in the way he says them. You reckon, he’s just as bewildered by this as you are, maybe even more so. And somehow, in the middle of all the awkwardness, you find yourself genuinely smiling at him, naturally gravitating towards him, finding that there’s a softness and reassurance in his gaze, a gentleness that cuts through your nerves like a knife through melted butter in the sun.
You start talking more freely after that, exchanging stories that are too mundane to make sense in any real context but feel right here. You tell him about your last trip to the beach, how you got sunburned and spent the whole evening sitting on your balcony, nursing it with iced water and aloe, wishing for a helping hand that you didn’t have. He laughs, nodding along as if he can picture it exactly and tells you about how he tried to make pasta he ate in Italy for the first time a few months back and ended up burning the whole batch, because no one was by his side, so badly his kitchen smelled like smoke for days.
The more you talk, the more you notice the little things about him that aren’t so polished, aren’t so perfect, and make him feel more human and real than anyone you ever met. He has a way of listening, eyes intent on yours, like he’s trying to pick apart every word to understand it better. When he laughs, it’s with his whole face, even body, not the careful, composed look of an idol but a natural, carefree laugh that makes you feel like maybe he’s as relieved as you are to be here, to have someone he doesn’t have to impress.
At some point, you both lapse into a comfortable silence, each lost in your own thoughts but somehow still connected. The tension from earlier has faded away, replaced by a soothing aura you know you don’t want to miss for a day in your life.
Eventually, Jungkook glances over at you, his eyes sucking you in without much resistance. “I kept thinking this would feel forced, you know? Like we’d be sitting here, struggling to find anything in common.” He leans back, drapes his arm around the back of where you’re sitting, glancing up at the ceiling as if searching for the right words. “But… it doesn’t feel that way. You feel… I don’t know, right?”
The slight flutter in your chest has now swelled into a full-blown hurricane, and you’re not sure if it’s that ninety-nine percent compatibility causing it. But you don’t let yourself think too much—not when you’ve both been inching closer with each word, not when you take a chance and lean in, resting your head against his side. Especially not when his arm settles directly over your shoulder, pulling you a little closer, his other hand finding yours, fingers intertwining just to see how it feels.
“Yeah, it feels right. I really like this.”
As you absently play with his fingers, breathing in his scent for the first time and deciding it’s like heaven, you let yourself trust science. Because this feels like exactly where you’re meant to be.
While the first meeting with Jungkook went better than you’d ever hoped, you’re painfully aware of your overthinking nature. Overthinking in a way that makes it painfully clear there are countless women out there who, on the surface, would seem a better visual match for him than you.
Overthinking to the point where you wonder why Jungkook would even need matchmaking when he could so easily choose a partner on his own. It’s also why staying focused at work isn’t exactly easy today, knowing that soon his label will be sending a car to pick you up for your next meeting with him.
You understand the precautions they’ve taken and completely agree it’s better to meet in a private, safe space rather than making headlines this early on. That’s why, as the tinted car arrives, you feel a bit more at ease than you have all day.
Soon enough, you’re driving down the path to the label’s underground garage, and while you fix your makeup real quick, the car comes to a stop. The driver nods and guides you towards the lift, where the lights are dim and everything has this quiet, professional atmosphere you’ve only seen on screen.
You try to take it all in, letting your thoughts settle just a bit more as you follow through to the hallways upstairs, past doors labelled with room numbers and studios, and then finally, you’re outside the door to Jungkook’s studio, right where you’re supposed to meet.
Your heart beats a little faster as you hear Jungkook’s familiar voice call out, “Come in,” and when you open the door, you find him leaning casually against the chair before his equipment with an easy smile that somehow manages to be both happy and slightly flirty.
Again, Jungkook’s dressed just like uniquely him, with a few silver rings glinting on his fingers. And while you didn’t think he’d even get up to greet you, he steps forward and embraces you in hug so tight, it leaves you drowning in him.
“Hey,” he greets with that disarming grin, eyes boring into you, taking in your formal work attire, as he gestures to the coffee set up besides his laptop. “Hope you don’t mind the casual vibe.”
You laugh a little, settling onto the free chair beside him, feeling a bit strange but somehow not. “I think it’s perfect. And to be honest, I don’t think I’d cope well with the whole five-star dining treatment and whatnot.”
He laughs, nodding in agreement, taking your purse from your hands and draping it casually over the back of his chair. The fact that he’s still so attentive, even though he’s clearly in his element here but completely relaxed, is rather fascinating and pulls you in even more.
Like the day before, talking with him comes easy, and while there’s nothing groundbreaking in your conversations, every word feels meaningful in the bigger picture.
Eventually, you feel yourself relaxing like you were at home by your own, getting comfortable enough to let out the thoughts that have been swimming in your head since last night. “I’ve thought a lot about how all of this could play out,” you admit, taking a sip of your coffee, trying to find the right words, though knowing there won’t be any wrong words when talking with Jungkook. “And honestly, I’m not really interested in taking things public if they did work out. I know that’s probably strange to say, but I’m not cut out for the spotlight.”
He tilts his head, watching you thoughtfully. “No, it’s not strange at all. I get it.”
A small smile tugs at your lips as you go on, “I just want something real. A partner who’s loyal, someone who’s there because we get each other, not because we’re some public ‘it’ couple, parading around every chance we get. Does that sound crazy?”
He shakes his head, while he swings from one side to the other. “Not at all. That actually sounds perfect to me.” There’s a sincerity in his tone that makes you feel, for the first time, like there’s some truth to your report. “The whole ‘idol’ thing is just a job. It’s not who I am, not at the core. And having someone who sees it that way, is what I want too.”
It elates you to know that you could have something like this, with him, someone you could genuinely share your life with.
Then, in a thoughtful voice, he asks, “What do you want for the future? I mean, outside all of this.”
You take a breath, feeling a little nervous but wanting to be honest. It’s not like it’s news to him, seeing that this information’s written in the report he was handed. “I want something traditional. A home, a family, maybe staying home with kids, having that steady, grounded life. It sounds simple, I know, but it’s what I’ve always pictured.” You look up at him, expecting maybe a hint of judgement, but instead, you find him nodding, his eyes lighting up like a candle in the night.
“I don’t think that sounds simple at all, but meaningful.”
A shy smile forms on your lips as you add, “Sometimes I feel like people don’t see that side of things anymore, you know? Like everyone’s so focused on careers and success and everything else… and I get that, I do, but I’ve always just wanted something steady. Something I can hold on to.”
His hand finds yours, his fingers like second nature intertwine with yours, and the gesture is so simple yet so heartwarming that you feel like squealing out of happiness. “That’s exactly what I want too.” It’s nothing new to you too, but him saying that, seeing the honesty in his eyes, is better than any data shown to you. “I want that sense of home.”
You feel yourself falling a little harder, a little faster, and maybe that scares you a bit. You’ve seen the kind of attention he gets, the kind of girls that throw themselves at him, and it’s hard not to let those doubts creep in. Especially now. “I know this probably sounds insecure,” you start awkwardly, glancing away, “I think, I don’t know, maybe I’m not the kind of person someone like you would go for. I mean, you could have anyone, and not just because you’re an idol.”
He gives your hand a gentle squeeze, his thumb tracing soothing circles against your skin. And while his mouth opens to say something, the pull against your hand surprises you as much as him settling you in his lab. “Hey, don’t think like that. I’m here because I want to be. And trust me, I’m not looking for ‘anyone’. I’m looking for someone who gets me. And that someone is you, no?”
The look in his eyes is so genuine, so unguarded, that it’s hard to keep your heart from doing all sorts of stunts. He’s not the polished idol right now; he’s just Jungkook, being flirty, being compassionate, being so him, sitting in a cosy studio with his tattoos, his piercings, his moles, his beautiful smile, his whole presence more comfortable and inviting than you could have imagined.
And as he sits there, looking at you like you’re the only person in the world, you realise that you definitely don’t have to doubt this. Maybe it’s okay to let yourself believe that he’s here because he wants to be, that he’s falling for you irrevocably just as you’re falling for him.
“Sooo… that means?” You know you need to be brave now, because if this isn’t a dream, you’d never forgive yourself for not taking the leap.
“That means, if you want to, I’d love to have you as my girlfriend.”
“Isn’t it a bit rushed?” You don’t actually think so, but you still need to be sure.
“I’m all in if you are. I don’t want to waste any more time, and even though it’s just a report, I can feel there’s real truth behind it.”
Fast forward seven months, and you find yourself pressed against the shower wall like you do every night. But this time, it’s different—just hours ago, you made your first public appearance on a music show with Jungkook, just because you both felt ready, where he was not only nominated for Best Singer of the Year but won as well.
“Koo, right there, right there.”
It still amazes you how his cock seems to find your g-spot as soon as he enters you, though you wouldn’t want it any other way.
“Yeah? Right there, hm? Or is it…” he trails off, shifting his hips ever so slightly, making you realise he’s actually hit the centre point of your g-spot now, his hard, unrelenting thrusts pushing you over the edge without warning.
“Oh my goooddd,” your eyes roll back, mouth hanging open against the cool shower wall, as your cunt keeps gripping him even though it’s already creaming around his cock.
“Good girl, keep going, love. Show me how many you can take tonight.”
There’s nothing you can do, not that you’d want to do anything other than let him rearrange your insides. Especially not when his tattooed hand finds its way from the back of your hair to your jaw, tilting your head to the side, giving you the perfect view of his upper body—rivulets of water cascading down his chiselled form, lips parted, eyebrows furrowed.
He’s the epitome of perfection. Not just a ninety-nine percent but a hundred.
His eyes, though hooded, bore into your soul as his hips pick up the pace. It’s this connection you share with him make being with him feel so special.
“Koo…”
“I know, love, just a bit more. Can you be a good girl?”
“Yes,” you moan, because hell, you can. “Yes, for you…ah, winning the trophy.”
Even though you shouldn’t feel his cock twitch with the pace he’s set, you do, realising instantly what he needs tonight.
“Best singer, Koo…fuck…best boyfriend, only fucking me when, hmm, the whole world wants a piece of you.”
“Only you. Always you, ___, love.” You think you catch him licking a drop of saliva from his lips as he stares down at where your bodies connect, sending another wave of arousal from your stretched-out hole.
“You’re so big.”
“Just for you, fuck, squeeze a bit more.”
It’s not that you did it on purpose, but when his hand shoots down to your clit, circling it just right, your body responds as though it’s never felt this good, soaking him even more and gripping him tight as a vice.
“Like that, love, like that.” Jungkook grunts and pants, holding you harder, tighter as his cock seems to swell even more, pumping frantically in sync with your impending second orgasm.
When Jungkook can’t hold back any longer, it’s all you need to let go too, the rush flowing through your veins just as fiercely as the love you feel for this man.
After some time, Jungkook pulls out, helping you straighten up and lean against his chest under the stream. His veiny hands trail down your body, washing away his release dripping out of you, as he plants kisses along the side of your face.
When he’s had enough, he, like always, turns you, brushing the wet strands of hair from your face. And as you do the same to him, captivated by how content and in love he looks, you can’t help but feel like the luckiest girl in the world when, for the first time, Jungkook declares his feelings.
“I love you, till the day I die, ___.”
“I love you too, and beyond.”
Because this, because having Jungkook calling you his, is beyond probability.
a/n 3: lmk what you think in any way you like! �� If you liked what you read, pls consider buying me a ☕️ Ko-fi.com/runariya 💕
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#fic: beyond probability#bts imagines#bts fanfic#bts army#jungkook x reader#bts jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x you#jungkook imagine#jjk x reader#jungkook#idolverse#Jungkook idolverse#Jungkook smut#bts smut#Jungkook fluff#bts fluff
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Season two of Chaser Game W was just as wacky as the first, but I'm going to go on record and state I believe season two was better because Fuyu really got to evolve and kept me entertain with all her hilarious facial expressions.
The finale began with the Red Devil back and back to her old habits, but instead of Fuyu immediately caving, she figured out this was her father's doing.
And when Itsuki was spiraling after Fuyu's mother visited, Fuyu was like, "You told my mother to eat poison, right?"
Because this is a color-coded family and her mother would not abide by the assigned color-coding. She also made their sweet daughter beg to not be sent away, so grandmama gotta GO!
Everything comes back to those gay penguins! I'm not even slightly upset that Fuyu's ex suggested she not tell people about her relationship with Itsuki. Not everybody can be out in all aspects of their lives, so it's reasonable to protect their child, they must rethink how not everyone can be trusted with the truth.
Our mama penguins decide that is solid advice and encourage their daughter to call Itsuki her aunt in public, so the bigots aren't mean to a five-year-old child.
But the bigots are doing the most to teach their children to hate others at a young age.
And even though my babygirl was thrown off by their decision, she also understood the reasoning behind the decision because it's clear they are in love (the color exchanges say so), and they love their child. Not telling others doesn't make that love any less valid.
But after all of that, these two show up in almost-matching outfits to tell the entire PTA that they have big old lesbian crushes on each other, so suck on that, ay yay yah!
As wild as that school scene was, I liked that it ended with the child repeating the question of "What is normal?" because two color-coded parents in love seems pretty normal to me!
Then Fuyu actually told the entire world they were in love as if the colors didn't already do that!
This is how peacefully everyone should sleep after they come out on international platforms and ruin bigoted bitches' day.
Especially this Red Devil's day since she threatened them so many times!
Even though the show went left in the last minutes by making the father be the one to say China needs to change,
And having the Red Devil take the credit for Fuyu's bravery,
I don't care because in fictional works, I want my happy endings however I get them, and this IS a happy ending.
Instead of being a poly series *sad face*, we got more of the story about two women in love!
We have Itsuki being the most adorable Heavenly Human wife to Fuyu.
And Fuyu still being the cringe corporate Black Brooder wife!
Then we have other color-coded girls in love who have witnessed the journey of our protagonists.
We have Itsuki finding other parent friends who aren't homophobic asshats.
We have grandma sending her lesbian granddaughters and cute great-grandchild gifts!
Because grandmas in QLs are really proving the Boomers didn't protest wars and fight for our rights to be wrongfully considered the bad guys now.
We have the ex-husband finally getting to live his best life too with someone who gets him.
And I got COLOR-CODED GIRLS IN LOVE.
And a babygirl.
#chaser game w#chaser game w 2#color coded girls in love#the colors mean things#episode eight#this show was wild from start to finish#but I ain't mad at it#the show understood the color-coding assignment from beginning to end
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Why was the Until Dawn fandub literally life changing
#LIKE?#The Mikeiplier bit. Mike and Josh becoming aware of reality. Chase's one liners absolute bangers as usual. Holly's dr hill bits#ALSO SOME LINES I RLLY ENJOYED:#“Just like when I called my wife a bitch and she left-”#“In part one I called it a raccoon. It was a wolverine.”#Also Chase + Ryan calling eachother Chase + Ryan instead of Mike/markiplier + Josh#THE WHOLE THROUGHLINE WITH THE XBOX KINECT??#The plot was so good and As usual Chase and Ryan were the highlight for me#Theyre dynamic is soooo good#<33#I might have to rewatch that soon#and the bit with Chris not being able yo open doors#and Doggy#AND RUDE MOUNTAIN HOW COULD I FORGET ABOUT RUDE MOUNTAIN#snapcube#snapcube fandub#snapcube real time fandub#until dawn#beverly says stuff
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ok so i& was holding myself& back by a thread for a few days but. beyonce's lemonade album is. quite litcherally marlontine in an au where he lives & he has to answer to her. basically that whole speech in waiting to exhale where she takes his shit & burns his shit while smoking a cigarette. she destroys his ass lmao
#arcana.txt#YOU CAN TASTE THE DISHONESTY ITS ALL OVER YOUR BREATH !!!! [...] WHAT ARE YOU DOING MY LOVE !!!!!#HOLD UP THEY DONT LOVE YOU LIKE I LOVE YOU !!!! [...] CAN'T YOU SEE THERE'S NO OTHER MAN ABOVE YOU!!!!!!#WHAT A WICKED WAY TO TREAT THE GIRL THAT LOVES YOU !!!!!#WHAT'S WORSE LOOKING JEALOUS OR CRAZY OR LIKE BEING WALKED ALL OVER LATELY I'D RATHER BE CRAZY !!!!#WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I IS !!!!! YOU AINT MARRIED TO NO AVERAGE BITCH BOY !!!!!#BAD MOTHERFUCKER GOD COMPLEX MOTIVATE YOUR ASS CALL ME MALCOM X!!!!!#WHEN YOU H.URT ME YOU H.URT YOURSELF !!!! DON'T H.URT YOURSELF !!!! WHEN YOU L.OVE ME YOU L.OVE YOURSELF !!!! L.OVE GOD HERSELF !!!!!#I AM THE DRAGON BREATHING FIRE !!!! BEAUTIFUL MANE IM THE LION !!!!! BEAUTIFUL MAN I KNOW YOU'RE LYING !!!#BLINDLY IN L.OVE I FUCKS WITCHU TILL I REALIZE IM JUST TOO MUCH FOR YOU !!!!!#HEY BABY WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I IS !!!!!! [...] JUST GIVE MY FAT ASS A BIG KISS BOY TONIGHT IM FUCKING UP ALL YOUR SHIT BOY !!!!!!#WHEN YOU PLAY ME YOU PLAY YOURSELF !!!!! WHEN YOU LIE TO ME YOU ONLY LIE TO YOURSELF !!!!! YOU'RE ONLY LYING TO YOURSELF !!!!!#THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING !!!! YOU KNOW I GIVE YOU LIFE !!!!! IF YOU TRY THIS SHIT AGAIN !!!!! YOU GON' LOSE YOUR WIFE !!!!!#HE ALWAYS GOT THEM FUCKING EXCUSES I PRAY TO THE LORD YOU REVEAL WHAT HIS TRUTH IS !!!!#I LEFT A NOTE IN THE HALLWAY BY THE TIME YOU'LL READ IT I'LL BE FAR AWAY [...] BUT I AINT FUCKIN W/ NOBODY#S.UICIDE BEFORE YOU SEE THIS TEAR FALL DOWN MY EYES !!!! ME & MY BABY WE GON BE ALRIGHT WE GON LIVE A GOOD LIFE !!!!#BIG HOMIE BETTER GROW UP !!!! [...] ME & MY WHOADIES BOUT TO STROLL UP I SEE THEM BOPPERS IN THE CORNER THEY SNEAKING OUT THE BACK DOOR !!#HE ONLY WANT ME WHEN I'M NOT THERE HE BETTER CALL BECKY W/ THE GOOD H.AIR !!!!#SHE WALKED INTO THE CLUB LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS GODDAMN SHE MURDERED EVERYBODY & I WAS HER WITNESS !!!!#YOU'LL ALWAYS COME BACK TO MEEEEEEE !!!! COME BACK COME BACK COME BACK COME BACK COME BACK !!!!!#DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL & DADDY MADE A SOLDIER OUT OF ME !!!! W/ HIS GUN W/ HIS HEAD HELD HIGH HE TOLD ME NOT TO CRY OH MY DADDY SAID SHOOT !!!#HE HELD ME IN HIS ARMS & HE TAUGHT ME TO STRONG HE TOLD ME WHEN HE'S GONE HERE'S WHAT U DO !!!!#WHEN TROUBLE COMES TO T.OWN & MEN LIKE ME COME AROUND OH MY DADDY SAID SHOOT !!!!#MY DADDY WARNED ME ABOUT MEN LIKE YOU HE SAID BABY GIRL HE'S PLAYING YOU!!!!!!#10 TIMES OUT OF 9 I KNOW YOU'RE LYING BUT 9 TIMES OUT OF 10 I KNOW YOURE TRYING SO IM TRYING TO BE FAIR & YOURE TRYING TO BE THERE & TO CAR#& YOU'RE CAUGHT UP IN YOUR PERMANENT EMOTIONS ALL THE LOVING IVE BEEN GIVING GOES UNNOTICED ITS JUST FLOATING IN THE AIR !!!!#ONLY WAY TO GO IS UP SKIN THICK TOO TOUGH !!!! CAUSE YOU & ME COULD MOVE A MOUNTAIN !!!! YOU & ME COULD CALM A WAR DOWN !!!#9 TIMES OUT OF 10 IM IN MY FEELINGS BUT 10 TIMES OUT OF 9 IM ONLY HUMAN TELL ME WHAT DID I DO WRONG !!!!#g-d just. POWER COUPLE#TELLTALE WE COULDVE HAD IT ALLLLLLL
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All My Dreaming
Summary: You came to the Night Court as a fugitive and quickly became a valued member of the Inner Circle. Azriel’s love for you has burned brightly in his chest for nearly two centuries now, but when an unknown force threatens to take you from him, he must fight to keep you at his side.
Pairing: Azriel x Winter Court!Reader
A/N: I don’t use Y/N here just out of personal preference, but the IC do call reader “Little One” because she’s younger than them by like a century or so. Also, slight timeline deviation? I kind of just made the ACOTAR timeline work for me a little bit but the important bits are there mostly. If it’s not totally accurate, please suspend your disbelief and go with it. I also took some serious liberties with Prythian geography and Azriel’s shadows in this. I had to force myself to stop because I could’ve written five more scenes, so let me know if you all want a part two. I got nasty Azriel thots to spare, baby!
WC: 16.1k ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
TW: 18+, Minors DNI, violence, death, descriptive gore, lots of time jumps, torture, smut, p in v, fingering, porn with plot, mating, slow burn, angst, friends to lovers, declarations of love, loving sexy times, miscommunications abound, Azriel being a big ole softie, Azriel being a big ole bitch to bad men, Azriel really going tf thru it emotionally, and Azriel being mouthy as fuck. Just girly things.
Part 2
Azriel hadn’t seen you in four days. Nearly a week had passed since you’d left. Rhys mentioned a mission but no additional details, Cassian avoided the topic, knowing how frustrated his brother got when you were gone, and Feyre was decidedly unhelpful the few times he’d brought you up. His shadows searched aimlessly, they’d found nothing as far south as Winter Court, daring not venture into Autumn, and knowing damn well you’d never step foot into Spring. You were slowly driving him mad; the bond in his chest aching at the loss. Even if you hadn’t recognized the golden thread linking the two of you, he felt it.
Gods, did he feel it. He’d often lay in his bed at night, eyes tracing the intricate foil patterns of the ceiling tiles. When sleep evaded him, as it frequently did, he’d grasp the thread tightly in his minds eye and tug it experimentally, begging you to see, to notice it was him that loved you with a ferocity that rivaled the sun. Try as he might, the responding tug never answered, his call into the void not returning an echo.
The second it snapped for him, Azriel had resolved himself as unworthy, not of someone like you. You were powerful, breathtakingly beautiful, intimidatingly intelligent, and you regularly brought men to their knees, both in political circles and on the battlefield. Rhys relied on you as much he did Cassian and Az, you were a core member of his court, a valuable asset, and the love of Azriel’s life. Azriel avoided the latter subject entirely, choosing instead to silently stoke the ember in chest with unyielding affection; his own private paramour.
When you’d joined the Night Court, you’d been on the run from both Winter and Autumn Courts. Your father was a high fae noble in Winter that had attempted to arrange a marriage to the second youngest Vanserra of Autumn. The family’s brutal reputation was legend and you were terrified. You were young then, barely a century old, and upon your introductory visit to the Autumn Court, Beron sought to make an impression by presenting a welcome gift. That gift? The public torture and execution of a servant he’d deemed traitorous.
His gleaming eyes remained on yours with each cast of the fire whip he’d conjured using his cruel magic. He’d cracked it again and again until blood splattered and the servant was left flayed beyond recognition, flesh searing, and finger tips twitching from the remaining neurons firing in his brain. Only after his death did Beron announce his crimes. He’d stolen a parcel of food from the royal pantry to feed his wife and small child. Your stomach churned at the thought of the now widow and fatherless child waiting at home for the male that would never return.
It had all been a test to see if you were worthy of the most violent and petulant of the broody sons, and you’d passed, holding Beron’s stare and keeping your back straight as you faced his wrath head on. You’d cried yourself dry in your room that night though, sobs wracking your form until your chest ached, grief for the male that was lost. Fear settled into your heart, terror of the family you were set to marry into.
You’d ran at first light, leaving with nothing but the clothes on your back. Your Winter white blonde hair streaking across the red and orange forest as you bolted. Beron sent his dogs after you. You still had the scars lining your calves from where they’d gotten too close, brought you down into the dirt, jaws snapping and tearing at the muscly sinew there. But you’d fought. You’d kicked and clawed like a feral child of the woods, screaming with a sense of self preservation you’d never known you possessed.
Rhysand had found you half dead, starving and a little savage in the mountainous border between the Day and Night Courts. He’d made a bargain with you then; he’d save you, if you worked for him. Word had already spread of the ousted Winter female and spurned Autumn princeling and Rhysand was impressed you’d lasted in the wilds undetected for so long. The small star flecked tattoo of the Velarian night sky that lived on your wrist since was the only evidence of his deal.
You’d long moved past such a bargain. Rhys had offered to lift it half a dozen times in your first hundred years within his court, but you hadn’t minded. A reminder, you’d insisted, a mark of your loyalty to the family that didn’t lead you the wolves with such glee.
You’d settled into a routine in Velaris, training with the Illyrian brothers and charming Amren with your intelligence and wit. But you’d become the closest with Mor, who felt a kinship in your shared traumas. She’d soothed you in those first years, fiercely protecting her friend when Eris Vanserra had shown up in Hewn City as an emissary to inquire on your new position in the Night Court. It was that same night that Azriel realized how fucked he truly was.
Eris smirked at you and your back straightened, face growing cold. He spoke, “My brother was wondering where you’d scampered off to.” A laugh followed, “You couldn’t stomach our court, but found yourself bound to the Court of Nightmares? My my, what a wicked turn of events.”
Rhysand had spoken then, wearing his High Lord mask well, “Watch yourself, Eris. You know not what our Little One can do.” Eris laughed, the sound laced with the dark spark of a threat. “Little One? Fugitive and Night Court whore, I must tell your father. I’m sure he’ll be proud to hear of his daughter’s fate.” Azriel’s wings pricked, then fluttered, he would’ve killed Eris right then for you. Your hand came to rest on Rhys’ arm as you stepped around the throne to level your accuser with a look that should’ve turned him to stone.
“I am no male’s whore and I belong to no court except Night. Report what you wish to my father, to your father, your brother. May you all rot.” You’d spat at his feet then, and the room heated twenty degrees, Eris’ barely kept rage simmering under the surface, fire blooming on the fringes of his figure.
He stepped forward and Cassian, Azriel, and Mor all shifted, prepared to take out the threat. Eris’ eyes tracked their figures, gauging the situation. He knew better. Any attack here would mean war on his court and his father have his hide for that. You stepped forward to meet him, knowing he could make no move without endangering his position. You kept your spine straight and narrowed your gaze at him with such contempt he would’ve been impressed at the show had you been anyone else.
“I will say this once Eris Vanserra,” you held up one long manicured finger, and Azriel traced the action with thinly veiled obsession. “Leave my court or I will be the one to kill you. I’ll rip your spine from your body and I’ll do it with the same glee in which your father,” you’d spat that word, the hatred you held for Beron burning your throat as the words exited your mouth, “killed that male for feeding his family.” You took a step closer, summoning a dagger in your left hand, and rolling it your palm. “Trust that we have no tolerance for your family or your bullshit in these lands.”
Eris had good enough sense to step back then, peering around your form to where Rhysand sat, legs spread, slouched in the throne, smirking at your display of dominance. Azriel to his right looked on in pure male satisfaction, you were a powerful little thing and he was rather fond of you in that moment. Eris spoke up, “Should I note that the Night Court threatens other Courts for sport?” Cassian and Azriel rolled their eyes in synchronous fashion, but it was Mor that spoke with the dark edge of a threat, “Only ones that deserve such brutality.” Her father, Kier, stood in the gathered crowd and sneered at the tone of her voice.
You’d done the unthinkable then, winnowing behind Eris, grasping the male by his red hair and dragging the dagger to his neck, digging in enough to cause the male’s heart to speed, a line of scarlet leaking from the press of your blade. You could feel the heat in his skin, the flame licked at your hand as you released him with a shove.
You brandished your dagger as if it was an extension of your hand, the tip of the silver blade glinting with red from the now healing cut at Eris’ throat. “Come for me again and I’ll kill you.” It was then that Azriel noted the slight tremble in the hand at your right side and he wished on some distant star that he could reach out to you, soothe you, tell you that he was proud and you defended yourself and your court beautifully.
As if his wish was granted, he felt his chest give way to a canyon of emotion, heart stuttering as the bond fluttered and snapped, thrumming with affection for the female standing at the center of the room. He had selfishly allowed himself to hope it would be you, in the dark of the night when he was alone and his shadows whispered to him of your whereabouts. Since he’d met you, he fostered that small romantic notion of soulmates. His most private desire.
Eris whirled on you with a roar, grabbing your throat with hands of fire. Azriel felt the breath leave him, and he took two then three steps forward before he could think, hazel eyes alight with a fierceness you’d not yet witnessed. Your eyes found his and you held up your hand to halt his movements, the one that had trembled seconds earlier, now steady as a stone. You’d looked at Eris then, raising your chin defiantly, a slow smile overtaking your face as you once again spit at the Autumn male before winnowing back to your place in front of the dais. Rhysand raised to his feet then, taking steps down to meet you. His hand grazed your arm this time and his mind reached out, “Very good, Little One, very good.”
“As the lady said, Eris, come to my court in search of her again, and she’ll be the one to kill you.” Rhys circled Eris, tracking like prey. “But not before I sanction it for laying your hands on a member of my house.” Rhysand spoke with such quiet cunning, it was no wonder he excelled as High Lord. Eris snarled then before winnowing out of the Hewn City and Azriel quickly set his shadows to following him, ensuring he was actually gone.
You returned to Mor’s side and the shameless pride that set on your face the rest of the night made Azriel want to kiss you. Gods, he was fucked..
You’d flirted with him constantly in the first century you’d been in Velaris. You had laid it on thick too, dragging a long nail up his arm, your mouth sliding into a smirk after one too many drinks at Rita’s. Azriel had always feigned friendly indifference though, a mask he slipped on that was equal parts protection as it was self soothing. His only crack coming in the form of a slight tremble in his pinky as he tried to gather himself to avoid closing the space between you, touching, grasping, feeling.
He’d worn black leather gloves around you in your first few decades with them. His hands always held the most insecurity for him, the silver scars and warped skin a brutal reminder of his childhood. It was after training one day, as you all packed your small bags and threw towels into bins that you’d asked about it.
“I don’t mean to pry, and feel free to tell me to fuck off, but why the gloves?” You asked quietly leaning against a wall less than ten feet from him. He’d stiffened and breathed tightly, “it helps with the work.” That had always been his excuse, wearing gloves when killing helped reduce the touch memories associated with the act, and it was partially true. But he wasn’t on a mission right now, and you called him on that, “are you spying right now?” Your lips quirked, “should I tell Rhys?” Your words were mirthful, but your eyes held nothing but empathy for the Shadowsinger, sometimes Azriel wondered if that was your Cauldron blessed gift.
You’d reached down then, rolling up the left leg of your training leathers. You’d resumed your full height and rotated your calf outward for his eyes to survey the damage there. Ragged silver keloid scars marked the skin from your ankle to the soft back of your knee— a knee he’d admittedly fantasized about many nights in a row now. He’d selfishly thought about trailing kisses up your leg, pausing to nip playfully at the soft skin at your knee as he made his way north, up your thigh. He breathed deeply banishing those thoughts as he took in the site of your marred skin. Judging by the heavily keratinized markings, the injury had no doubt been painful when incurred originally. Azriel’s fingers twitched again, wanting to touch your face, hold you as he kissed away your grief.
“From Beron’s dogs,” you breathed, rolling you shoulders, as if shaking the memory from your mind. “They wouldn’t heal when I was out there,” you clicked your tongue, “granted I was starving,” you sighed, “but that’s a story for another day.” You looked at him then, and he had to steady himself at the emotions pooling in your eyes.
He’d already planned on killing Beron if the opportunity presented for what had happened with Mor, but for you, he’d make it hurt. He’d drag it out and make it slow. He’d torture him for days, flaying skin from bone, taking fingers then limbs and when at last he begged for death, Azriel would set the dogs on him and laugh as they tore him apart. He felt a long repressed need for vengeance creep up his spine, and he hated to acknowledge what its presence meant in regards to you.
“It’s okay, you know,” you’d said, head lolling to the side as you watched him, eyes swimming with a gentle affection, “I’ll never judge you for something like that.” Azriel squeezed his eyes shut as he turned his head from you and breathed in tightly. How did always manage to be so fucking disarming and vulnerable? That must’ve been a gift too.
He pinched the middle finger of the right glove and pulled it from his hand, grasping his now exposed fingers into a fist, knuckles cracking. He extended that arm out, palm up as he let you view his deepest insecurity, the thing he hated most in his appearance.
You’d stepped forward, looking at his palm. Your hands went to reach but you’d paused, looking to his eyes as you silently asked permission to touch. He nodded stiffly, watching you with the same intensity of an animal being hunted, prey ready to bolt at any moment.
Your fingers touched his hand, and he felt the connection race up his arm and to his chest, settling in his heart. Your eyes studied, and you rotated his hand, fingers gently tracing from his wrist, to knuckle, to fingernail in reverence. You covered his hand with your own, moving your eyes to his hazel ones. “Are they dead?” You’d asked seriously, and he stuttered a shocked laugh. “Yes, Little One, they are,” he answered, a small smile playing at his mouth. The two of you far too similar it seemed. “Good,” you’d said simply before kissing his knuckles and pulling the glove back on for him. The action was quietly intimate, and Azriel should’ve kissed you then. Mother knows he considered it, eyes watching you with rapt attention as his heart sped up and breathing shallowed.
“If you two are done flirting, lunch is ready,” Cassian announced from the doorway, breaking the spell you were both under. You’d jumped and laughed freely at the large male smirking at the entrance. You grasped Azriel’s hand tightly in affection before releasing it to turn on your heel to exit the room, passing by Cass with an eye roll, thumping him square in the chest.
Cassian looked to his brother as he walked into the room and his face split into a shit eating grin. “Let’s go, loverboy,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. Azriel glared, scoffing as he followed behind you, praying to whatever Gods were listening that he’d get you alone again soon.
In your second century with the Night Court, you’d lessened the blatant flirting and settled into loving, easy friendship. You regularly attended balls and galas in Hewn City, fitting into such pomp with practiced ease, but always with a dagger strapped to your thigh, ready to cut a male down in seconds. Those events were almost routine at this point: Azriel would save you a dance, and you’d move together in a slow ritual that you���d both perfected over the years, he’d bow as the violinist played their final note and resume his place on dais at Rhys’ right. His eyes would follow you the rest of the night, as you spoke in an airy manner to various high fae, glaring at any male whose hands ventured too close to his mate.
Nights when the Court held parties at the House of Wind were different though. You were far less rigid, finding it easy to exist without scrutiny. Those were the nights Azriel’s eyes rarely left your form as he watched obsessively from the corners of the room.
“You’re staring,” Rhys chimed from his place next to Azriel, eyes not leaving the crowd as he spoke to the Shadowsinger, mouth smirking. Azriel was staring. You’d worn cobalt blue tonight, a lovely color on your skin. His color on your skin. Mother above, the male possessiveness that crawled up his spine was unreal. Mate, mate, mate, his shadows had sang in his ear. He wanted to pluck the eyes from every male in the room for even glancing in your direction. He wanted so much more than that too. Your breathy sighs as he marked you, your moan as he made you come undone, his name crying from your lips as he ate his come from your cunt after. Azriel had a million and one scenarios running through his head. He yearned to make each one of them come to fruition too.
He hadn’t answered Rhysand, so the High Lord tried again, “you really should tell her, but please,” Rhys closed his eyes with a grimace, “quiet your thoughts first, for Cauldron’s sake.” That got Azriel’s attention, his back straightening and mental shield slamming down. His eyes squeezed shut, almost as if he was in pain. “I cannot burden her with that now,” he said, “not with war at our doorstep.” Indeed, the second war with Hybern creeped ever closer, disappearances of other high fae occurring daily. Whatever they were planning across the sea, it was going to bring Prythian to its knees.
Rhysand sighed then, feeling older than his 500 years. “Be that as it may, we should hold those we love tighter.” Rhysand looked to Feyre at that moment, his eyes meeting his mate’s, as he sent a strum of warm affection down the bond. She smiled and returned it cheerily. He turned back to Azriel, “if it all ends tomorrow, I know my love and she knows me. That’s all we can ask for in this immortal life.” Azriel looked back to you, and your eyes were already on him, tracing the shadows that wound around his chest. You met his eyes and winked, before turning back to Mor and laughing freely.
“I thank the Cauldron daily it was you that found her in those mountains, Rhys.” Azriel spoke quietly, admitting a small secret he’d not told anyone. Rhysand softened, and clapped his friend on the shoulder, “As I am, brother.” Azriel nodded, letting the conversation die between himself and the High Lord as he drained the drink in his hand and moved down the steps in your direction.
You’d been in conversation with Mor when he approached. She was telling you of the seamstress she’d been seeing, and how happy she was. Azriel cleared his throat from behind the two of you and you turned to meet him, taking in his appearance with wide eyes. “Ladies,” he started, bowing to you and Mor, who snorted at the silly formality. “And that note, I’ll be taking my leave. I’ve got a lady to see,” she said with a wink and a flourish of her red dress. You laughed and shook your head before turning back to the Shadowsinger. He’d caught you staring earlier and your heart had nearly jumped into your throat, before Mor mocked you lightly, diffusing the tension.
“Hi Az,” you greeted softly, before dropping your empty glass on a passing waiter’s tray and thanking them. Azriel watched you closely, noting the revealed skin that shifted with each movement, committing every angle and freckle to memory.
“You want to get out of here?” He dared ask, jerking his head toward the private balcony on the House of Wind. You raised a brow, Azriel? Asking you to leave? Together? You heart was back in your throat and you thanked the Mother that you’d taken your time getting ready that evening. Nodding, you grasped his arm as he offered it to you like a proper courtier. He walked the two of you up a round of stairs and away from the eyes he’d threatened earlier in the night. Voices dulled the more space you put between yourselves and them and you couldn’t help but start to sweat a bit at the thought of being alone with Azriel.
You’d been friends for nearly two centuries, but you’d always felt a connection with the male. Your heart thrummed with a warm, golden affection when he got close. It made keeping a clear head during training hard. It made sitting next to him at dinner difficult. And when he’d looked at you like you hung the moon as you danced earlier in the night, it made you want to take him to bed and ride him until he moaned your name. You breathed deeply. ‘Focus,’ you chided yourself, ‘he is your friend, for Cauldron’s sake.’
He led you out onto to the balcony and stopped at the railing before looking up at the star flecked sky. “This is my favorite part of the House,” he said eyes scanning the sky before looking back to you as you watched him. A blush crept up his neck, before he cleared his throat again.
“I’ve always wondered what it was like to be able to fly, you know,” you said quietly, removing your hand from his arm, rolling up onto your toes, leaning against the stone railing, and looking out on Velaris before scanning your eyes up to the three stars that shone brightly overhead. “When I was a child, I met a Peregryn from the Dawn Court and thought she had the most beautiful wings I’d ever seen.” You chanced a glance his way, “I’d not met an Illyrian yet.” You reminded with a smirk, bumping his arm with fondness. Gods, he was in trouble.
“I asked her what it was like and she said it was the purest sense of freedom possible.” You glanced down at your feet, “I spent the next year wishing for wings.” He mulled on your words. He wanted to say something cheesy as Cassian would, like ‘I’ll be your wings’ but he couldn’t, so you continued on.
“When I was a little older, I witnessed a blue skinned lesser fae’s wings ripped from his body as punishment and it was the most gruesome thing I’d seen at that point.” You took a shuddering breath, “I cried for him that night. The lost freedom. How maddening it must’ve been.” You looked at him then and he watched you with furrowed brows. “How does it feel for you?” You asked softly, eyes tracing the shine of his wing. ‘Magnificent things,’ you thought. You remembered seeing his wings for the first time and thinking the Peregryn had finally moved to second place in your mind.
Azriel had to gather himself as he spoke, “It’s… everything.” He said quietly adjusting his body to extend a wing. “My ability to fly came in late,” he said, and your eyes widened, you hadn’t known that. “My childhood was… rough and I didn’t learn to fly until I was nearly grown.” He laughed, scuffing the toe of his boot, wings folding in behind him. “It was a lot of crash landings those first months.” You snorted, mental image of a younger Az, landing in a puddle of mud crossing your mind.
“I was never a proud Illyrian, not like the others,” he continued, “it was hard for me to reconcile my heritage and our traditions.” He looked to the cityscape then, “but the stronger I got, the more I understood why flight was so crucial to my people.” He looked to you, eyes shining, “it’s the closest we can get to the stars.”
You leaned over the railing again, staring wistfully at the night sky, the moon reflecting on your skin. “Will you take me someday? Flying, I mean.” Did you not know Azriel would give you the world? Of course he’d take you flying. He’d give you the moon, the stars, walk through fire and back, anything. He nodded, “you say the word, and I’ll fly you the the ocean and back.” The smile that broke across your face crippled him, his knees threatened to give way.
“Yours are my favorite,” you murmured softly, eyes glancing from his wings to his face. Azriel blushed in full, pink speckling his neck and cheeks as he laughed. “Don’t let Cass hear you say that, he’s got an ego,” he said, a smile remaining at his lips. You liked him like this the most. Loose, smiling, free. You reached up then, cupping his reddened cheek, thumb stroking. “I don’t care,” you said smiling, “it’s the truth.” Azriel swallowed roughly, staring at your eyes swimming with an emotion he knew, but was much too stubborn and scared to name.
Just as your hand went to retreat, he grasped it between his own. “You can touch them,” he offered, knowing damn well the implications, “if you want,” he added. Your eyes widened. Mor had mentioned once that Illyrian’s wings were ‘sensitive,’ was the word she’d used. It was a sign of great intimacy and trust to allow another to touch them. You felt the air shift between you two then, as you nodded.
He extended a wing toward you. This felt so much like the first time he’d shown you his hands all those years ago. Your hand crept forward and gentle fingers met the red gold membrane that stretched between two metacarpals. Your fingers traced the membrane in smooth circles, then traced up to the crest. Azriel felt his breath gutter out of his mouth in a loud, choppy exhale, and he felt himself harden at the sensation of your fingers against the most sensitive portion of his wings. You gasped and jerked away at the sudden noise, before apologizing. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten carried away.”
Azriel shook his head, “It’s not that, they’re sensitive.” There was that word again, only it made you think of how they’d been shredded before the King of Hybern, and you opened your mouth to apologize again, but he stopped you short. “I haven’t allowed another to touch them freely since my mother.” The admission floored you, your gut giving way with a breath.
You looked to his eyes then, the air between you had shifted again and you knew this was it. This was the moment you’d waited for, he was going to kiss you. Mother, it felt you’d waited a millennia, and he felt just the same. But that kiss never came. Instead, Azriel went stock still, his eyes now on the House behind you.
“Azriel?” You questioned. “It’s Rhys,” he said tightly, “he’s summoning me.” You understood then. He looked to you desperately, eyes a little wild and apologetic. “I’m sorry, I have to go to him.” You nodded, you both worked for the High Lord, you’d never get in the way of Azriel’s allegiance to his Court. “Of course,” you said quietly, taking a step back and swallowing down your disappointment.
Azriel took three steps towards the entrance then stopped. “I’ll take you,” he turned around, backing his way to the arched stone, but keeping his eyes on you for a moment longer. “When I get back, I’ll take you flying,” he offered. Another smile etched its way across your face and Azriel took a long moment to memorize it greedily. “It’s a date,” you said confidently. He beamed then, turning on a heel to pick up into a jog, Rhys no doubt shouting to hurry up.
That date hadn’t happened though. The second war with Hybern broke out days later and you both barely made it out alive.
When Feyre had come to Velaris after Amarantha’s defeat, you’d accepted her with easy friendship. You saw Rhysand, your longtime friend, overcome with love for his newly found mate, and you couldn’t help but love her as well. You’d shared your story with her and the two of you bonded deeply over her art. She’d offered to teach you to paint, and you began taking lessons in your off time. Rhys had been Cauldron blessed with her and you reminded him daily.
Later, when Feyre’s sisters joined their little unit, you’d been the first one to break Nesta’s tough exterior. The female saw parts of herself in you and you’d gotten her to crack a smile when you mocked Rhys’ High Lord voice at dinner one night. Elain had been a tougher sell, but you’d tried, along with Azriel, to bring the female out of her shell. The day she joined you in the library to read, you knew progress had been made, even if you two had only sat in silence a few feet apart, a small smile gracing her features.
You left her book recommendations with small notes and she began to do the same. Your friendship playing out in the margins of the library’s tomes. You won her over with silent conversation. Nesta noticed, of course, and she looked to you with gratitude as she saw her sister’s eyes brightened and skin began to return to its normal, healthy color. The night Azriel mentioned it as you walked down the hall toward the dining room for the family meal, you’d shrugged. “I met her where she needed me to,” you’d said quietly, glancing to your feet. Azriel smiled, a Cauldron blessed gift indeed.
Dinners at the House of Wind were by far Azriel’s favorite version of you. You’d laugh with abandon, smile splitting your face, showing every tooth as Mor cracked a joke and leaned against you for support, one too many drinks in her system. The first time he’d seen that smile, it blinded him, and he’d gone a little dazed, staring at you in wonderment. Rhys had interrupted his train of thought with an invasive insertion of “How quickly she reduced you to a puddle, brother.” Azriel had scowled at Rhys then, mental shields firming up, but not before he heard the distinct sound of his High Lord laughing at the Spymaster’s defensiveness.
Indeed Azriel was gone for you. When Cassian finally confronted him last year about the truth of his feelings, Azriel saw no point to avoid it any longer, not after his brothers had also found their mates. “Our souls are one in the same, she’s my mate,” he’d said pensively, as if he was letting his deepest secret breath in the light for the first time in centuries. Maybe he was. He’d made Cassian promise on his life not to tell anyone, and despite being the biggest gossip in the Inner Circle, he kept his promise. He was thrilled for his brother, knowing you were the perfect match.
Little did Azriel know, everyone else was already more than aware of his affections. Amren had figured it out a century prior when Azriel had tended your needs as you’d recovered from an injury sustained during a mission. He’d fretted around you like a mother hen, buying you flowers, sweets, and books while you were bedridden. The female had watched and hummed with a raised eyebrow as Azriel exited your room for the fifth time in one day, wringing his hands with worry despite Madja’s clean bill of health.
Feyre had figured it out the same year she’d returned from the Spring Court, just before the second war with Hybern. She’d seen the way his eyes had followed you in the war room Rhys had created to host strategy meetings. Saw him lean towards you when you spoke, saw his wings flutter when you finally cast your gaze to him, eager for your attention. More than anything, she’d seen his shadows, desperate little things, sneaking across the floor each night, sidling up your ankles and wrists, begging for your affection. You always laughed and nuzzled them as the wound their way to your hair and Azriel went a little soft at the sight.
When she told Mor, the blonde had laughed, “They’ve been circling each for two hundred years now, eventually one of them will cave.” Mor leveled a sardonic look at Feyre then, “and when they do, we’ll all have to relocate to the River House for a year lest we be subject to the frenzy.”
This mission should’ve been simple. Rhys had asked you to check out reports of rogue soldiers spotted making their way towards the border of the Night Court from the Day coastline. The intel he’d received had mentioned three to four maximum, all of them drunken ex-Hybern loyalists. It should’ve been a matter of locating them, spying for a day or two, then winnowing in to neutralize any threat. Gods, this was far from simple.
When you’d arrived in the region, the hairs on your neck rose, the air itself feeling off. As you tracked them, you’d noticed intentional attempts to throw you off course. A carelessly trashed map, crudely laid tracks in the opposite direction, Dawn Court wine bottles that had been emptied and tossed about. They knew you were there, and you quickly realized that a trap had been laid. You backed off them then, staying further than you’d have liked, but trying like hell to make them think you’d given up.
On your fourth night following them, you’d drifted away to an inn two towns over, desperately seeking a place to bathe and rest, even for a few hours. As you bathed, you felt watched in a way that discomfited you to your core, and your dagger stayed within arms reach the rest of the night. Suddenly, the role you’d played for the last two hundred years had left you entirely ill equipped for whatever was happening here.
You’d left out before dawn, refusing to lose an ounce of daylight, but as you hit the tree line, readying yourself to winnow out, you’d noticed it. Hanging from a tree, a hundred yards away was a piece of clothing, your clothing. Clothing that should’ve been in the pack at your back. Your breath shuttered out of you as you opened your mind to Rhys, asking for back up. You were in over your head and you knew when to admit it. There was no pride in getting yourself killed.
As you turned to move back to the inn where you could wait out contact from Rhys in a public location, you were met with a pair of shining blue eyes. You stepped back, keeping your grounding, readying for a fight. “You’ve been following us,” the stranger said calmly, beginning to trek in a slow circle around you. You opened your mind to Rhys again, “Help,” you called. Rhys answered this time, “Where are you?!” It was a frantic response, you never asked for help, Rhys knew this. “Just off the coast, beneath the mountain range, Day court border, 400 hundred paces from the inn” you spoke to Rhys in choppy thoughts, trying to establish a location before all hell broke loose.
“I have,” you finally answered the stranger, whose lips quirked at your voice. He stopped circling and resumed his stance in front of you, blocking passage to the inn. “Why?” He asked and you tried to keep your mind steady as you answered. “You’re trespassers in these lands” you stated simply, shrugging a shoulder up. He grinned then, “had your lot not gotten in the way of our King’s plans, these would be our lands. We were promised them. I was personally promised the Court of Nightmares.”
“Well,” you shrugged feigning indifference, “that’s not how the war played out, so I will have to ask you to leave,” you offered in your most bored political tone. The same tone you’d used with High Fae that ran off at the mouth in Hewn City. The stranger cocked his head the side then, eyes twinkling, “I don’t think I will.” At that moment, one by one, additional soldiers appeared from the forest line. One, then four, then ten, until near twenty stood around you, looking on with hatred.
Shit.
“We’d hoped for the Illyrians, but it seems your High Lord sent us a treat instead,” the stranger said with mirth. You steeled your spine, looking down your nose at the stranger, “They’re going to kill you, you know.” He’d laughed at your threat. “I think not,” he said as as arrow was released from your left, finding purchase in your shoulder. You folded over on yourself at the blow, and looked up baring your teeth, before drawing your dagger and rushing the stranger with a feral sound.
Five more arrows hit you before your blade could find its target. One into your hip, two in your back, a fourth piercing your in your upper thigh, until the last burrowed into the back of your knee, bringing you down in front of him — forcing you to bow to the stranger. The arrows were laced with faebane you realized as you’d begun to feel its effects in your blood. Your power waning quickly, thoughts becoming murky.
You released another shattered thought to Rhys then, “Tell him, please,” you begged raggedly. Rhysand came back with a rushed and tight, “Hold on, Little One, we’re coming.” You shook your head, there wasn’t time. “Tell Azriel I love him if I don’t make it, Rhys, promise me.” He responded but it muddled out, sounding like words shouted through a pool of water, then your brain fell quiet. The line severed.
The stranger lifted your head, hand wrapped around your throat, as he bent to meet your crouched form. “I’ll be sure to savor this,” he smiled and the hilt of his sword came in fierce contact with your forehead.
It was the early morning on your fifth day away when Rhys heard you. “Help,” it had come through so clearly that it startled Rhys awake and set his heart to racing. You’d only asked for help once, during the war when you were overrun and near death. You were in danger.
He’d sat up straight in bed, Feyre still sleeping silently at his side, hand resting on her pregnant stomach. “Where are you?!” He’d asked down the line, a little frantic, remembering the state he and Azriel had found you in last time. Gods, you’d been run through on a Hybern soldier’s sword, the damage was astronomical. Azriel had nearly killed everyone within a mile radius at the sight of you.
You recited your location in short bursts and Rhys focused on the bond of your bargain, using it to locate you with more precision. He reached out to Azriel then, “Get Cassian and meet me downstairs. Be ready to fly.” Azriel responded an affirmative and Rhys rushed around his room, grabbing his dagger lined belt, and using his magic to dress in his leathers quickly. He winnowed to the base of the stairs and was glad to find Cassian and Azriel waiting.
“Tell him, please” you begged into Rhys’ mind then, words growing ragged. Rhys’ eyes slammed shut with a wince and he attempted to reassure you, “Hold on, Little One, we’re coming.” Rhys opened his eyes and looked to Azriel, who was watching him with anticipation. You responded again, words growing murkier, a little warbled. “Tell Azriel I love him if I don’t make it, Rhys, promise me.” Rhysand felt sick. “We will find you and you will tell him yourself,” he spoke but the bond was dead, silent, foreboding. Rhys thought he might vomit.
He looked to Azriel again, “It’s her. She’s in trouble. We have to go.” Azriel’s face darkened with a thunderous ferocity. Mother help the males who’d harmed you. “Where?” He asked, voice deep with the threat of murderous violence. “The wilds on the border, off the coast of Day. I’ll winnow us as close as possible.” Azriel nodded his acquiesce and lifted a trembling hand to his hair, running scarred fingers through the strands. Cassian spoke then, “we will get her back,” he’d said softly as Rhysand put his hands to the two of them, preparing for the jump. “And we will kill every last one of them,” Cassian added darkly as blue-black shadows encased them and they disappeared.
You awoke with a start, gasping like you’d been underwater. Your shoulders ached from your position. You pulled on your hands only to realize you were shackled to a tree somewhere deep in the forest, the same forest you’d been on the outskirts of earlier. You looked up to the sky, trying to find the sun to gauge how much time had passed. The sun had long moved past midday and was sinking towards the evening horizon. Your throat tightened. Where was Rhysand?
“Nice of you to join us,” a voice spoke. It was the stranger again, he emerged from the camp set two hundred paces to your left, hidden by shrubs and underbrush. You got a good look at him this time. He was tall, leanly muscular in a way that reminded you of Lucien Vanserra. His hair was a dishwater blonde and lacked any sheen, falling in choppy dry waves around his shoulders. His face was gaunt, eyes sunken, bruised with a lack of rest, and his cheekbones were sharp, giving his face an angle that made him look harsh and unforgiving. Though he carried himself with confidence, you noticed a slight, barely there limp in his right leg, an old wound perhaps, one that never healed correctly. You noted that for later, if you ever got out of these shackles.
You leveled a glare at him that you hoped looked more fearsome than you felt. Mother, your bones ached and your wounds throbbed. “I left the arrows in, but broke off the shaft. Didn’t want to have you healing too quickly.” He spoke with nonchalance, while polishing a dagger, your dagger, you realized as your eyes focused. You pulled at the shackles above your head, and the stranger chuckled at your attempt.
“What do you want?” Your voice croaked, mouth dry from disuse. The stranger laughed, pointing the blade at you, “I want my fucking court and you’re the key to getting it.” You shook your head then, “I am nothing.” The words sounded foreign on your tongue, a lie on some level, you knew this, but you would be damned before you gave up your family. The stranger clicked his tongue at your response, shaking his head.
“Surely you don’t believe that? The High Lord doesn’t trust easily, you’ve been seen with his entourage. The Shadowsinger’s whore.” He squatted a few feet from you, eyes tracing from your tied hands down to your face, pausing at your breasts, before trekking down your stomach, thighs, and calves. He was sizing up how much fight you had left.
Your brain had short circuited though, the Shadowsinger’s whore. Mother above, you’d never even kissed. How long had this male watched you and your family? How had none of you seen it? A bitter laugh wretched from your lungs, “sorry to disappoint, but the Shadowsinger isn’t mine.” No matter how desperately I’ve wished it so, you added silently.
The stranger grinned then, “if you are truly nothing, then I’ll make this a little sweeter.” He took steps towards you, raising the dagger to rest at your chin, the blade pressing to the underside painfully. “You’re far too pretty to be nothing.” He ran the blade along the column of your throat, resting it against your sternum, between your breasts. You pushed yourself further into the tree, back protesting as the arrows burrowed deeper with the movement. You didn’t like the new angle this interaction had taken and your fight or flight instincts were screaming.
You attempted to reach out to Rhysand, but the bond was dead silent. Your breathing hitched at the realization that you were truly alone in this. The stranger chuckled, dragging the blade down your chest, slicing the leathers, letting the fabric fall open and reveal your undergarments to his greedy view. Your legs moved to kick, but you realized quickly they too were tied. The blade came to rest at your bare stomach, and the stranger dug it in below the navel, causing blood to pool there. You winced, but made no sound.
“Ah, I was hoping you’d be louder than that,” the stranger smirked, “I’ll have to try harder.” He backed up then and pulled a whip from his back pocket, unfurling it with a crack. Your eyes widened and you brain went silent, fear overtaking your senses. “There it is,” his smile gleamed with violent delight, “there’s the reaction I was hoping for.” He reared an arm back before cracking the whip in your direction. The leather made contact with your torso, a stinging slice appearing along your rib cage. You jerked, but bit your tongue.
He cracked it again and again until you were bloody, slices in your leathers, festering wounds along your breasts, ribs, and stomach. You’d counted to 25 lashes before your brain gave out and your vision blurred from the pain. You looked up to the sky wearily. The sun was gone and the stars were slowly appearing. You smiled at them, remembering Azriel’s words from that night all those years ago.
You hoped he’d forgive you for not telling him. You hoped he’d understand your fear in revealing that secret, that the bond had snapped for you during the war. When that Hybern soldier’s sword pierced your armor, running through your body to the hilt, and he’d let out a fearsome bellow from across the field at the sight. You felt it then, the golden strumming taking the form of a fated thread linking you two. You been near death when he and Rhys had found you and the only thing you could do was smile. Such an ironic thing it was to die in the arms of your mate.
Your head lolled to the side as exhaustion threatened to overtake you. “Azriel,” your thoughts ventured, calling down the bond he didn’t even know existed, “I love you.” Darkness swam in the corners of your vision but you swore you felt his responding tug. The Mother was kind for granting that hallucinative mercy in your final hours. Your body gave out, slumping against the shackles and darkness overwhelmed you.
Azriel was furious. No, furious wasn’t the word, he was a walking time bomb. You were gone. His mate was missing and he was going to explode. As he’d arrived with Rhys and Cassian to the location you’d given them, he could smell you. His eyes searched frantically around the scene before him until they zeroed in on an item hanging from a branch a few dozen paces out. Cloth of some sort? He approached and could detect your scent on it, realizing quickly it was your clothing. A ripped cotton blouse. His fists clenched and he vaguely heard Rhysand speaking to his left. “They must’ve captured her here.” Rhys crouched down to the ground, two fingers swiping the dirt there, before bringing them eye level to examine sample. “Blood,” he muttered, rubbing the hand on the leg of his pants, “she was injured.” Azriel’s heart thundered, he was going to fucking explode.
He set his shadows work, surveying the forest with rapid precision. They’d cover more ground this way, an army of three operating like a whole infantry. By the time the sun rose to midday, Azriel was ready to begin screaming. They trekked further into the forest, following a line of smoke that was miles deep, originating at a camp somewhere far into the wilds. His shadows murmured to him of a small band of males there, of you, shackled to a fucking tree, arrows buried in your back. He’d nearly lost the contents of his stomach at the information and set to a run alongside Rhysand and Cassian.
As the three approached the encampment, the sun was nearing dusk. Rhysand had commanded the halt and strategize. There were roughly twenty-five men, all armed. They couldn’t enter this blindly and infuriated, they would lose if they weren’t careful. Azriel hated admitting he was right, his instincts screaming otherwise. Mate, mate, mate, his heart pounded.
They backed off to a thousand paces out, close enough that they could hear if the troop vacated the premises. As Rhysand and Cassian spoke quietly, Azriel felt his heart thrum. The golden thread there had pulled him closer to you and he could tell you were still alive. Though Rhys couldn’t reach out through your bargain, Azriel’s bond was still alight and warm, he stroked it with gentle affection. You might not feel it, but Gods he would try.
As the trio retraced their steps to the camp, stars were just beginning to light overhead and Azriel grasped his daggers tightly, knuckles cracking around the hilt. He was going to kill them. Kill them all brutally for taking you, for touching what was his. When they were within a stones throw from the camp he heard it, heard you. “Azriel,” you whispered into his mind. He went stock still, spine ramrod straight, fingers trembling as they gripped his knives. The golden bond vibrated in his chest, and he felt you reaching out through murky waters, against all odds. “I love you,” you said with a soft exhaustion before your side went dark. Azriel’s breathing guttered and he felt high on mirthroot, sick from fae wine, and enraged to the point of explosion all at once. His blue siphons flared brightly from the surge of power. He closed his eyes and reached out to you through the bond, tugging on the thread connecting your souls. He was coming. He was going to save you.
Rhysand looked to him then, curiosity swimming in his eyes as he took in the Shadowsinger’s sudden stop. Azriel opened eyes, irises alight with fire and shadow, voice grinding with dark threat, “Let’s go.” Rhys nodded and Cassian drew his knives.
They moved with brutal efficiency, killing male after male until none remained alive. Some had begged, others shouted and scattered their belongings as they set into a run. His shadows had caught them, twisting around their ankles and dragging them back to meet their fate, daggers slicing throats from ear to ear until blood poured like a prized hunt being slaughtered, the Illryian’s hands grasping and snapping necks like twigs. It was a practiced routine for the three of them, who’d trained since they were teens.
As they stepped through the shrubs to find you, Cassian gasped and Azriel felt his lungs threaten to collapse at the sight. You’d been shackled to a tree at the wrists and ankles and whipped within an inch your life. Wounds glistened with blood along your thighs, soft stomach, ribs, breasts. There had to be thirty lashes. A knife wound was visible at your exposed navel. Your head hung forward unconscious and Azriel’s heart pounded. He wanted to vomit and his hands shook.
“She said you’d come,” a voice said, emerging from behind the tree you were bound to. The male held a dagger to your throat. This new stranger had to be the leader of this band of idiots. Azriel’s eyes followed the tip of the blade up his arm to the male’s eyes and a growl escaped him as he bared his teeth. The male laughed, “to think she said she was nothing and yet I have both the Shadowsinger and the Lord of Bloodshed before me to save her.”
Azriel’s mind latched on to that piece of information, turning it over in his head. You’d told this male you were nothing? Did you not know Azriel would do anything for you? You were everything. You were his love, light of his life, keeper of his soul, his mate. How alone you must’ve felt, how scared. Azriel’s eyes narrowed, he was going kill him.
Rhysand spoke then, emerging from behind the two Illyrian brothers, “And may I ask why you’ve abducted a member of my court?” He was in High Lord mode, tone bored, fingers picking at his sleeve. The Hybern male’s smile gleamed at the introduction, “just who I was hoping to see!”
“Hybern, the old fool, made a few promises in his last days as King,” the male spoke, digging the blade down to your chest, where it rested over your heart. Azriel stared at the blade, eyes tracing to the the hilt. That was your blade, the one he’d given you when you first arrived in Velaris, the one you wielded against Eris, the one you kept strapped to your thigh. Your own knife had been used against you.
“One of which was that I would inherit these lands after your lot were annihilated.” Azriel wanted to laugh at the male’s words, was he serious? “A dead king cannot honor empty promises,” he ground out eyes shifting to the male’s blue eyes. “A dead and headless king cannot gift you shit,” Azriel spat. The male smiled then, a feline grin growing on his lips. “Precisely Shadowsinger, a dead king cannot give me my due, but this little thing can help.” You’d made a noise then, something akin to a whimper as you came to. Eyes wincing then fluttering open as your irises found Azriel’s immediately, some preternatural magnetism existing between the two of you. Then you looked to Cassian and Rhysand, and your eyes swam with apology.
“She awakens!” The male sang, looking to you. Azriel jumped at the opportunity to send his shadows out while the male’s attention was elsewhere. They traced over the ground to you, circling the tree and working at your binds. He sent two others towards the distracted male. “Who knew the Night Court was so attached to a whore,” the male laughed, “I want my lands,” he fixed Rhysand with a glare, “you can have your plaything back in exchange for my seat, High Lord” he sneered.
Rhysand looked from you to the stranger to the shadow now creeping ever closer to the male. “You must be mistaken,” Rhys said then and Azriel’s shadows wrapped around the male’s neck and wrist simultaneously, whispering violence for touching their mate, forcing the dagger from his grasp and air from his lungs. Azriel tightened them until they heard bones crack in the male’s arm and choked sounds exit his throat, face reddening as oxygen was cut off. “I do not make deals with dim witted cunts,” Rhysand said darkness beginning to surround him, High Lord voice encroaching, “I do not entertain terrorists and I do not take kindly to threats on my family.”
‘Finish him,’ Rhysand said darkly into Azriel’s mind and the Shadowsinger moved with lightening precision, dagger find purchase as the male’s neck was sliced open and his right hand was removed from his body. The male’s body toddled forward with a choked gurgling, before falling to the ground, lifeless, blood pooling.
Azriel’s gaze fell to you and he softened. His shadows finished picking the lock of the shackles that held your arms and they clicked open, allowing your body to fall into his. “Azriel,” you breathed, voice weary with exhaustion, “I didn’t— I—“ you stuttered, pulling a shaking hand to his face. You swallowed, tracing his cheek with trembling fingers, “I didn’t think I’d see you again,” you murmured, your watery eyes searching his face, memorizing the details of his visage.
Azriel picked you up in his arms and unfurled his wings protectively. “I will always come for you,” he said vehemently, eyes watching your face with intensity. You smiled, a weepy trembling smile as you nodded. Rhysand reached the Shadowsinger’s side then and your eyes moved to his violet ones, “Hi Little One, I’m so sorry we’re late.” You let out a single watery laugh before wincing as the sudden expansion of your chest burned the wounds littering your chest and back.
“The arrows,” you gasped, “at my back,” you twisted in Azriel’s hold, “please get them out.” Rhysand leaned down to inspect the wounds. “Faebane,” he surmised, that’s why his connection to you had been severed. “We need to get her to Madja, now.” Azriel nodded, allowing Rhys and Cassian to move closer so the High Lord could winnow them home.
Landing back at the House of Wind had been chaotic. Rhysand shouted immediately to get every healer available and the dining room table had been lined with a sheet, turning the warm family room into a medical ward. You were laid facedown on the table and Azriel took to your side, scarred hands touching your face, keeping you awake as Madja worked to remove the six arrows burrowed in your body.
You’d screamed. The sound would haunt Azriel for centuries. You begged to make it stop and Madja had apologized softly as she worked faster to remove them while minimizing damage. “I’ve got you,” Azriel said softly, “eyes on me, alright?” He rubbed the hollow under your eye with a scarred thumb and you opened your eyes to lock on his. “No gloves,” you said, smiling tightly, before wincing as Madja applied local anesthetic to an arrow wound. Azriel smiled, eyes a little watery. “Not with you,” he whispered shaking his head, “never with you.” You smiled at him and the sight set Azriel’s heart to fluttering.
Later, after the arrows had been removed and wounds bandaged, you’d been given a strong herb tonic for pain that set your head swimming as exhaustion overtook you. Azriel carried you his room, laying you gently onto the mattress and covered you with the duvet. He leaned down then, breathing in your scent as he placed a kiss to your forehead, nuzzling his nose to the Winter white hair there. He would tell you. When you awoke, he would bare his soul to you.
You woke with a groan. Fucking Gods, your body ached with the effort it took to roll over. “Easy,” a voice came from the corner of the room. Your breath gasped out of you as your eyes raced to the figure there. “Azriel,” you breathed. The male smiled warmly at you and stepped forward to rest at the edge of the mattress. You pushed up in the bed, the wound at your shoulder screaming from the exertion. Once in a sitting position, you rested your back on the headboard as you looked at him. “For taking out a small militia, you seemed to be decently uninjured,” you said smiling tightly, memories of the stranger and his whip haunting your mind. He snorted a small laugh, “Yes well,” he looked down then, thumbs fiddling with each other, chest heating, “I had something worth fighting for.”
He looked back to you and your cheeks had grown pink, a small pleased smile at your lips. “I heard you, you know,” he said softly, turning enough to rest a hand on your thigh, thumb drawing small, soothing circles there. The heat generated in the touch sent a spark to your belly. Oh, you were fucked. “I heard you in my head, through the bond,” he said eyes watching his thumb as it traced on your bare skin hypnotically.
“You know then?” You whispered, breath skittering out of you. You were scared to death of the trajectory the conversation was taking, your heart preparing for the best and the worst simultaneously. Azriel’s eyes dragged up your form to your face and a smile broke over his lips, one that caused your heart to ignite. Your Mother had once told you the heart was an organ of fire and you’d laughed, never having cause to believe such a statement. You understood now.
“I—“ Azriel started, before clearing his throat, turning his body to face you in full, a knee pulled up on the mattress, touching yours. “In the whole time I have known you— two centuries, Little One,” he looked at you pointedly, “you have been my dearest friend, my greatest comfort, my confidant, and the person I admire most in this Gods forsaken world.” He breathed deeply, a whoosh exiting his lips as his hand tightened around your thigh. “The times when you were lost to me have been some of the most painful moments I’ve experienced.”
Your eyes began to water, and you moved a hand to rest atop his own, thumb circling the scarred skin at his wrist. He took a breath then and the air shifted between you, his mouth opening and closing, as if he was gathering his confidence for what he was about to say next. “I have loved for you so long that I’d given up all hope of reciprocation.” The words shattered through you as all air escaped your lungs, guts swooping down as heat alighted there. “I felt the bond the night Eris came for you,” he continued, eyes watching your entwined hands. Your body went still and a startled laugh exited your mouth. Azriel’s eyes flew to yours questioningly.
“Sorry,” you chuckled again, “I’m just realizing how fucking stupid we’ve been.” You lolled your to the side, watching him with loving eyes. “I’ve been in love with you for almost two centuries, Azriel,” you smiled, “I thought you wouldn’t want me.” Azriel’s eyes widened, his mouth opening and closing in disbelief, two then three times. You thought for a second to compare him to the guppy fish that swam in schools along the banks of the Sidra but refrained.
He pushed forward then, hands coming to cup your face, pinky and ring fingers resting in the hollow below your ear, thumbs stroking your cheeks. “How could I not? You’re everything,” he whispered, searching your face, conviction showing in his eyes. You couldn’t stop the smile that overtook your mouth as you spoke, “and you’re my mate.” His eyes moved to your lips, glazing before they moved back to your eyes. “As you are mine,” he spoke confidently.
Your eyes watched each other for a long second, “I really hope you’ll kiss me this time,” your hand trailed up his arm, fingers teasing. “Mother knows I’ve been dreaming of it for far too long.” He surged forward, lips meeting yours and you thought you might float away. You gasped and his tongue moved in, claiming your mouth, your taste with his own.
He pulled away minutes later, a little breathless, “Sorry to have kept you waiting, my love,” he spoke, resting his forehead to yours with a smile, watching your dazed expression, pink cheeks, as your lips split into a grin. Your hand moved to the front of his button down, fisting in the material there, giving an experimental tug. “Kiss me like that again and I’ll consider forgiving you.”
The laugh that came out of him was golden, and you pushed yourself to memorize it. Azriel, Lord of Shadows, Spymaster for the Night Court, Rhysand’s right hand and Illyrian warrior was soft for you. He loved you. He was your mate. You’d be giddy about it for the rest of your life.
Your healing had been slower than you would’ve liked. The faebane had done serious damage but with Madja’s help, the scarring was minimized. The lashes at your front took two weeks to heal, the arrow wounds took three. Three fucking weeks. Meanwhile all you could think about was your mate. He hadn’t left your side in the interim. Helping you take steps, applying the wound creams that Madja had left in small glass pots, keeping you fed, making you laugh, telling you how much he loved you daily. Mother above, you were going to ruin this male.
You walked into the kitchen at the end of week three, the only evidence of your wounds now in the slight limp of your right leg and twinge in your left shoulder. The marks at your stomach and chest had diminished into barely there, silver scores. Cassian was sitting at the small table in the corner as you entered. “Hi Cass,” you greeted, “seen my mate around this morning?” It was fun calling him that, a small part of your chest swelling with pride each time.
Cassian smirked, “He’s been…… out.” Your eyes narrowed, he was being evasive. “Out where?” You asked, grabbing an apple and hopping up on the counter to watch the male. He shrugged, “No idea, Little One.” You smirked, “I know where you sleep Cassian,” you started, “is it really wise to lie to me?” Nesta strode into the kitchen, “What’s he done now?” She asked laughing. “Hey! I’ll have you know I’ve done nothing!” The male exclaimed, “She’s interrogating me on the whereabouts of her maaate.” He dragged out the vowel of the last word mockingly. Nesta took her seat next to Cassian and laughed, “Ah, him.” She looked to you then, “he’ll be around to collect you soon.”
You looked between the two, suspicion dripping from your features as you took another bite from the apple in your palm. “You two are being weird,” you stated. Nesta shrugged, nudging Cassian who smiled at her. “Just wait,” she said softly, “maybe cook yourself a meal.” Cassian’s mouth quirked with a laugh he restrained. “Right, I’m leaving, cause whatever this is,” you waved a hand at them, “is deeply odd.” You hopped off the counter and strolled to the exit. You heard them laughing softly once you were out of the room, making you roll your eyes at their antics.
You’d gone to the library after leaving the kitchen and found Elain already there. Her eyes moved to you upon your entrance and she closed her book, middle finger marking her spot. “How are you feeling?” She asked softly, eyes surveying your body for lingering damage. You sighed, falling into the sofa across from her. “I’m better,” you said quietly, “the pain is gone, scars are minimal.” You turned your eyes to her, she looked brighter than the last time you’d seen her. “How are you?” You asked in return. She smiled sweetly. “Better,” she echoed you and you wanted to laugh. “I’ve been exchanging letters with Lucien,” she added and your ears perked up.
“That’s great, Elain,” you rest your chin on a closed fist, watching her. She shifted and sat her book to the side, page forgotten. “I want to tell you something,” she said quietly, fingers twiddling with each other. She looked... nervous? “I’m all ears,” you said softly.
“I had a vision while you were gone,” she started and took a deep breath. “It was so muddled at first, I couldn’t tell who it was, but then I saw you. Your hair was longer, you stood taller, and your belly was round.” The breath left your body in a powerful exhale. She looked to you again, eyes watching yours, “You were pregnant and happy and in love,” she said quietly, as if the words in themselves were fragile. Your hands trembled and you moved them under your thighs, her eyes didn’t miss the action.
“I couldn’t understand why the Mother would send me a vision like that, I saw Feyre’s pregnancy, but we’re sisters, you know?” You nodded. “Then I realized I recognized the tattooed arm I’d seen wrap around you, knew it was Azriel.” Your eyes watered, and you hiccuped out a small laugh. “I’ve known for a while you two were fated, but the Mother was telling me for certain. I hope you know how happy we are for you.” She finished and moved to sit next you, small hand touching your knee.
“When they brought you in that night, I thought the Mother had lied to me, that it was a vision of what could have been, that you wouldn’t make it.” You’d never heard Elain speak at length in this way, and you thought you might stop breathing. “I’ve never been happier to see you than when Azriel brought you in to read days later, my sweet friend.” You surged forward, throwing your arms around the female and she returned the gesture warmly.
You sat back and looked at her then. “Thank you,” you said, voice small, a little watery. She nodded before turning to resume her original spot at the end of the sofa, picking up her book and opening it to the page she’d left off.
In the hours that followed, you’d returned to the kitchen, grateful to find Cassian and Nesta had left. You took Nesta’s advice, gathering the ingredients to build a small berry tart. It had just gone in the oven when your mate appeared in the doorway.
“Hello love,” he said casually, leaning against the door jamb. You startled, turning on your heel to find him smiling at you. “Where have you been?” You asked walking towards him and running your hands around his midsection in a hug, head resting against his chest. His arm came around your shoulders as he pressed a kiss to your hair, breathing in your scent. “That, my dearest one, is a surprise.”
You looked up chin resting against his chest, watching his face. “It’d better be good, I baked for you,” you said, smiling softly at the Spymaster. His eyes moved to the oven then and back to you, irises darkening, as his pupils blew a little wide. “You… baked?” He asked disbelieving, “didn’t know you knew how to bake,” he followed up playfully. You gasped and shoved him, “for that, you can starve, have fun finding another mate to bake for you.” He laughed heartily and caught your hand, bringing your knuckles to his lips, eyes swimming with warm affection as he pressed a kiss there. Gods, the action made lust swoop in your stomach, heat spreading.
“The fool I’d be to turn away such a female,” he said, voice deepening, lips running across your knuckles with each word. “Azriel” you breathed. “Yes?” He offered in return, still smiling, moving your knuckles back and forth against his hot mouth. “Please tell me this surprise involves you bedding me.” A growl creeped out of his throat, the thought of you under him sending lust racing down his spine and to his groin.
“It might,” he said quietly, lips resuming their exploration, tracking small kisses from your knuckles, to the joint of your thumb, the inside of your wrist where Rhys’ tattoo lingered, up the soft skin of your arm, to your elbow, until he reached the skin of your shoulder. His lips traced over the raised skin there, a small nip above the scar as he traced north to your collarbone. You’d gone to putty in his hands, head rolling to the side to bare your throat. He pressed soft kisses there, pausing at your pulse point to trace the area with his warm tongue, a whimper escaping your mouth.
“If this is going to become a regular thing, I’ll need you two to relocate to the River House,” a voice came from behind you and you jumped in shock, but your mate, he let out a possessive growl before turning on the intruder. Rhysand laughed airily and folded his arms over his chest. “Easy, brother,” he smiled, causing Azriel to roll his eyes. You blinked a little dazed, and pulled away from the Shadowsinger. “You’re gonna make me burn my fucking tart,” you shoved him with an arm and laughed as you turned to resume your place at the oven.
Azriel instructed you to dress comfortably and be ready in a hour as he kissed your knuckles one last time and exited the kitchen. Butterflies roamed freely in your stomach at the thought of what he had planned. You’d returned to your quarters after removing the tart from the oven and portioning it into a small travel sized container. You were going to accept the bond, and your nerves were alight with anxious excitement. After you dressed in a lightweight linen dress, you packed a small bag with your remaining creams, and the boxed tart you’d prepared earlier.
You descended the stairs to find Azriel waiting at the base, his wings standing proudly behind him, shadows skittering around his feet. At the sight of you they raced to meet on the bottom step, running up your legs, around your waist and into your hair. A laugh escaped you as one nuzzled into the space behind your ear. Azriel watched fondly. “They love you,” he said smiling, taking a step to meet you, “ever since the bond snapped, I’ve had the hardest time reining them back from touching you.”
You reached a hand out to meet his, interlacing your fingers. “They’re cute, but you’re cuter,” you said with gentle affection. A shadow pinched at your waist and Azriel’s cheeks went a little pink as he laughed.
“Will you tell me what the surprise is?” You asked as he walked you toward the training balcony. “I’m afraid I’m very poorly dressed for training,” you joked. He snorted, “no, we’re not training.” He came to rest at the railing and then turned to you, running a hand up your arm, fingers moving to hold the back of your neck, warm palm heating the skin there, thumb grazing your jawline. “Amongst many things I’ve been terribly late for recently, I realize I owe you a date.”
Your face went a little puzzled and you looked to his eyes. “A date?” You questioned. He nodded, “I was supposed to take you flying.” Realization dawned on your features and a smile overtook your lips, each tooth shining in the setting sun. “I wanted to kiss you that night too,” you admitted laughing, remembering how desperate you’d been for his touch and attention. He smiled softly, “you have no idea how angry I was with Rhys for calling me away.” Your eyes widened, still in disbelief that this male wanted you return. It seemed both a millennia in the making and still so new and fragile.
Azriel snuck an arm around your waist and brought you up into the stretch of his firm body. His other hand tracing down your hip, then thigh, to curve under your knees as he picked you up. His wings unfurled and he shot into the air. A shaky laugh startled out of you and you gripped him tighter, your arms winding around his neck. His wings flapped in thunderous bursts, taking you higher, until you could see the entirety of Velaris spread below, the Sidra flowing like a snake through the winding city. Your breath left you in awe. “The Peregryn was right,” you said loud enough for him to hear and he smiled, pressing a kiss to your temple.
The flight was short, but it took you to the rural banks of the Sidra on the outskirts of the city, just before it emptied into the sea. You could see ships sailing into the harbor, moonlight beginning to trickle across the water. This was undeniably special, you thought, no one would see you up here and you felt like this was the edge of the world itself. You turned to Azriel, finding his eyes already watching you. “Thank you,” you said softly, leaning into him, his chin meeting your forehead as you moved your body to rest alongside the length of his. His hand came to rest at the small of your back, pinky stretching to graze the curve of your bottom. Wherever this was going, you were very interested.
He turned and grasped your hand, pulling you back up the hill and away from the view, towards a field of wildflowers and grasses. There, in the middle, a blanket had been laid out, small candles lit to illuminate the setting. A basket sat in one corner, a bottle of fae wine held within with an assortment of pastries, breads, and cheeses. You realized quickly that your mate, the male you’d loved for damn near two centuries, was courting you. The thought thrilled you.
He led you to the blanket and motioned for you to sit next him. “I must confess, I never took you for a romantic,” you said looking from the candles, to the basket, and then to him. He was watching you again. He smiled, laughing a bit nervously, “I’m a lot of things,” he said and your eyebrow quirked. “Oh yeah? Like what?” You challenged him and he loved you for it. You made him feel easy to love, you made loving fun and freeing. Azriel had once only thought freedom could be found in fucking and flying, then he’d found you and he knew it was there too. In the smile of your lips, in the thrill of your touch, in the ease of your love.
“Well,” he started, moving his wings to lean into you, pressing a kiss to your exposed shoulder. The action caused you to shiver. “I’m a spymaster.” You snorted, “no shit.” A laugh rumbled in his chest. “I’m a bit shy as you well know, I’m quite fond of dancing, I’m—” he hummed the last letter, pausing his thoughts and moving his lips up your neck. “I’m in love with you,” he said biting into the flesh at the juncture of your collarbone and throat, cock hardening at the sound that rolled out of your mouth. “I’m going to take you right here, on this blanket, under the stars.”
You gasped, your hands moved find purchase in the hair at the back of his head, fingers winding through the strands, nails dragging at his scalp. His nose ran the length of your jawline before his lips found yours. He rumbled a small hum the instant his mouth touched your own. At first it was a gentle press, teasing you as he had done today in the kitchen at the House of Wind. The adrenaline racing up your spine made you feel like you might vibrate out of your skin. His hand reached up then, threading broad fingers into your hair as he took the kiss deeper. Tonguing the bottom of your lip until your mouth opened, his tongue stroking your own. Humming with contentment, he tilted your head, deepening the kiss at a new angle that had heat swooping down to your core.
You brought your left hand to his shoulder, fisting your fingers in the fabric there and pulling him closer. He understood your intention and leaned you back into the blanket, pleasure alighting each nerve as his body pressed into your own. He eased up on your lips and began a slow trek south, pulling the strap of your dress down the curve of your shoulder, leaving a love bite there that had you gasping. He kissed down the bust line of the dress, laving his tongue at the swell of your breast. Your breath was coming in pants and you pressed yourself up on your elbows as he moved further south, fingertips tracing the hem of your dress that had risen to the middle of your thigh.
He looked back to you and smiled, mischief playing in his eyes as he ran his hands up your thighs, the slow drag pulling the dress with it. “I’ve been thinking about your cunt for centuries,” he said, his lips on your knee, pressing insistently as they moved north. “I’ve been dreaming of making you come on my tongue since I met you.”
Your breath leaves you in one fell swoop as you feel his tongue at the juncture of your hip and thigh. His mouth was insistent at skin there, tonguing the lace of your panties before pulling them down your legs and off entirely. He picked up a foot, placing it to his chest as he traced the long line of your body with hungry eyes. You were panting already, dressed rucked up around your waist, straps fallen down your arms and breasts heaving. His gaze flowed south and landed on your pink cunt, glistening, begging for him. His eyes went back to your face then, and his titled his head to the side, “Will you let me eat your pretty little cunt?” He asked fingertips tracing the scars of your calf with reverence. He brought your foot up, kissing the inside of the ankle, then nosing his way over your scarred calf, suckling at the skin there. “Please,” he added, eyes moving back to yours as his mouth continued his ministrations.
“Mother above, Azriel,” you breathed and a laughed startled out of you, “you are mouthy.” He chuckled darkly then, nipping at your knee, taking special care to press a gentle kiss at the new scar there. “Is that a no then?” He said softly and your head fell back with a groan, exposing your neck to his view. “As if,” you said, head pulling back up and lolling to the side to rest on your shoulder. “I’ve thought about it too, and if you back out now I will explode.” He laughed again, freely this time, forehead resting on your thigh.
His eyes find yours again, and he kept them there as he traced his lips north. He nosed the juncture of your cunt and inner thigh, running a tongue along your mound. You gasped and eyes narrowed, watching him with rapt attention. He pressed a kiss to the top of your slit and his hands come up to open you to him, pulling the lips apart and tonguing the collected moisture there. Your head fell back as your elbows gave way, falling flat against the blanket.
“You taste better than I imagined,” he said before wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking. The moan that left you had his hips pushing into the ground to find relief as his cock begged for release. His tongue flicked against your clit as he sucked and hummed. He thought this might become his favorite place in all of Prythian. He thought that every bad thing that had happened in his life seemed insignificant now that he was able to worship freely between your thighs. He traced fingers up and paused to wet them on his tongue, before pushing his middle and ring finger in to the second knuckle, pulling them out and scissoring them back in again. His tongue found your sweet little button for a second time that night and he laved at it, listening to your cries as he pushed you to the brink. Azriel’s life had been a nightmare, but between your thighs, mouth on your cunt, walls fluttering around his fingers, he thought he’d been blessed by the Mother herself.
Your hips rocked up in time with his fingers and you cried as your gut twisted, the coil there tightening. “Az-“ you gasped. “Azriel,” you went a little whiny on the vowels of his name, and your hand reached down to thread your fingers into his hair, nails scratching and tugging the strands. He hummed, the vibration sending shocks up your spine. “Azriel, baby,” you gasped, coming up on an elbow again, rutting your hips into his face as he took you higher. He didn’t let up, suckling at your cunt, fingers finding the spongy spot on the backside of your clit that made the world go blank “Azriel!” you gasped again, hips stuttering out, “Fuck, fuck— oh.” In seconds you were reaching your peak, hips faltering, thighs twitching, toes curling into the hard planes of his back.
He pulled his mouth off of you, pressing kisses to your pubic bone as he moved north up your stomach. He eyes were alight with desire, the male was pure want and you were his last meal. He pulled his fingers from your cunt and trailed them up to rest at your neck as he slotted his body between your thighs and kissed you. The hedonism of tasting yourself on his mouth made you wetter, cunt pressing into the hard line of his cock, still restricted in his trousers. He moaned at the contact, mouth leaving yours to rest his head against your chin and gather himself. The sound sent a pleasurable shock directly to your core. You grasped the hand at your throat and brought his fingers up and to your mouth, tongue laving at them before taking them to the knuckle, and pulling back slow, hollowing out your cheeks and sucking, keeping your eyes on his. He bared his teeth the sight and ground his hard cock into you, the friction on your clit making your thighs twitch.
“My sweet little mate,” he cooed. “Love of my life,” he nosed your cheek, his fingers still in your mouth. “All my dreaming has been put to shame it would seem,” he pulled his fingers from your mouth and replaced them with his tongue, his hands flying to his belt. He growled in struggle and you ventured a laugh. His eyes found yours and his jaw ticked, “keep laughing, sweet girl, I’ll fuck your throat next and you won’t come.” Your eyes went a little wide and a feline grin appeared on your face. “Mouthy indeed,” you said with glee as he finally got the buckle undone and pushed the pants down and off.
His shirt went next and your fingers traced up his exposed arms to his shoulders. “I’ve seen you shirtless a dozen times, and you still take my breath away,” you said softly, a hand resting on his pectoral. He laughed and went a little pink, before he pushed your dress up your body and over your head, leaving you bare. “I’ve always been impressed by your ability to so disarming,” he said, mouth finding the space above your breast as his hands came to cup them, fingers toying with the nipples. “It’s my favorite thing about you, you see me in a way I can’t even see myself,” he followed up.
Your eyes watered at the admission and your hands found his face, bringing his mouth back to yours as you kissed him again, tongue entwining with his. Your hands grasped his shoulders, as your leg found his hip and you pushed him over, onto his back. Your hands came to rest on his chest as you settled your weight on his lower abdomen. You could feel his manhood standing to attention, insistent at the curve of your ass and you reached around to grasp it, pushing your chest out for his greedy eyes. Taking him in long strokes, you ran your hand up and down, circling your thumb around the head. His eyes screwed shut as his breathing shallowed.
“Wanna know a secret, baby?” You offered, rocking your hips in time with your strokes. He whined then, the Lord of Shadows keened a little whine for you that had you ready to come right there. “Last time we hosted a gala, that night before Hybern,” you were panting, “all I could think about was taking you to bed.” His eyes opened and hazel was gone blacked out in pure desire. His hands found your hips and his own began to move in time with you. “I thought about riding you,” you said, twisting your hand in a way that had his breath guttering out of him. “I thought you might love me in the way you looked at me.” His eyes softened and he leaned up, hands tracing up your spine as he pressed kisses to your chest.
“I loved you that night and every night since,” he said before tonguing a nipple and sucking it into his mouth. “That dress you wore, my color, had me hard for a week.” You laughed then removing your hand from his cock and bringing both to his face, so you could kiss him. His hands slipped to your ass then, palming the cheeks as his tongue moved in tandem with yours. When you moved back from him, a string of salvia still connected you two, you reached up to comb fingers through his hair gently.
“I brought you something,” you said quietly, looking to the corner of the quilt where your bag had dropped ages ago. His brow furrowed, confusion showing in his features. “You don’t have to, but I brought some of that tart. If you want,” you offered the statement nervously, as if there was still a chance for rejection. Azriel’s heart went soft and his brain turned to mush.
“You want to accept it?” He questioned, hands sliding up your back and to your waist. You smiled and looked at him incredulously, “Of course I want to accept it, it feels like I’ve waited a millennia for you.” You’d laughed a bit and that feeling of home raced through him again. Gods, he was fucked.
You leaned off his lap, pulling the strap of your bag to you and unzipped it. There, packaged in a little glass container, lay a small slice of the berry tart you’d fretted over earlier in the day. “Nesta made some stupid comment about ‘cooking’ when I’d asked where you were,” you laughed in hindsight at the female’s leading words. “She knew because Cassian knew, he helped me with the food and candles,” Azriel murmured pushing your hair up and over your shoulder.
He pulled the container from your grasp then and opened it before picking the pastry up with his fingers, the same fingers that had been inside you minutes ago. Eyes on yours he took the first bite, your heart thrumming as the golden thread of your bond lit up like the sunrise. His eyes never left yours as he consumed the pastry in four bites, swallowing and pulling his fingers into his mouth at the remaining sweetness there.
The bond between you two was shining, strong and thrumming with love. ‘Hi,’ you tried, your thoughts reaching out to him. He smiled, laughing freely, and his voice came through clearly, ‘Hi, Little One.’ You choked out a laugh, eyes watering as you leaned forward to kiss him, tasting the berries on his tongue. ‘Can I make love to my mate now?’ He questioned down the bond and you laughed again. His hands were already tracing your hips as you leaned forward, hand reaching underneath to guide him into your cunt. Lowering yourself down, you rocked forward once then twice in order to take him to the hilt.
Mother above, he was big. His cock was thick and filled you wholly, pushing against your cervix making your eyes flutter in pleasure. You thought of the comment Mor had made about wingspan once decades ago and you heard him laugh, “I’m flattered, truly,” he said playfully, reading your thoughts and nipping at your shoulder.
You rose up again and set to riding him slowly, hips moving in long strokes as his hands traced your ass, pulling at the flesh there in time with your movements. You gave a experimental squeeze of your walls, and he keened a loud moan that had you speeding up your flow. “You keep that up, Little One and I won’t last,” he panted at your throat. “That’s rather the point,” you laughed breathlessly, your own hand moving to cup your breast, the other sliding down to circle your clit. His eyes traced the view greedily, moving down to the point where you connected, watching your cunt take him in full, his cock glistening with your shared wetness. He bared his teeth at the sight, a rumble lighting in his chest.
Just as your walls began to flutter with your impending orgasm, he grasped you and flipped you to your back, pulling your hands from your body and entwining your fingers with his own on each side of your head. He ground his pelvis in deep and your legs hitched higher around his waist. “Azriel, fucking Gods,” you called out at the switch in angle, the tip of his cock grinding into your cervix. He hummed at your throat, teeth marking you there as his hips pulled out and pushed in, grinding each time he bottomed out into you. His wings flared behind him and you thought you’d never seen a more beautiful sight.
“You take me so well, my love,” he panted, “you were made for me.” You whined then, cunt fluttering around him as he bottomed out deep and held it there, grinding his pubic bone into your clitoris. The pleasure raced up your spine and you thought you’d never be able to leave this place, might have to keep him inside you forever. He growled, reading your thoughts. “You want me to fuck this cunt forever?” He asked aloud leaning up, pulling his hands from yours.
You whined at the loss, but the sound died as he pulled your legs up his waist to his shoulders, kissing the scarred calf. He drew his cock out, only to slam back in. “Fuck,” you moaned out, voice going up two octaves. “You want me between your thighs for the rest of my days?” He said again, hips moving faster, your hands moving to your tits as they bounced from the impact. His eyes watched the movement and he bared his teeth again, turning his head to bite into the flesh of your calf.
“Azriel!” You called out again, pleasure zipped up your spine and you felt your stomach tighten. “Az, baby, I’m so close.” He chuckled darkly. “Be a good girl and come on my cock,” he said as his fingers traced down your leg to find your clit, rubbing the bundle in quick, timed circles. “Az- I-,” you barely got the words out before your orgasm overtook you, a long moan exiting your mouth as your cunt tightened around him, he ground into you and worked you through it, before dropping your legs back to his hips and pistoning deeper.
“My sweet mate,” he gasped at the skin of your throat, mouth tracing up to find yours, hands finding purchase on your thighs as he pulled you open, allowing him dive deeper. “My darling love,” he moaned and his tongue moved with yours, your hips pushing up to meet his thrusts, walls fluttering against his velvet length with the remnants of your orgasm.
You ventured your hand up his shoulder to the base of a wing and traced your fingers up the membrane to the bone. His eyes twisted shut, and he keened a low primal whine that had your cunt ready to come again. At the tightening of your walls, he groaned dark and deep, shadows seeping from him, as he pushed in, grinding against the innermost portion of you. His hips pulled out slightly and then pushed back in as his cock kicked, come spurting against your walls. He panted against your throat as his hands released their hold on your thighs and moved up your body before grasping your throat. He moved up to lean over you and his eyes found your own. He gave an experimental thrust of his hips and your eyes widened. Fucking Cauldron, he was still hard.
He laughed then, nuzzling at your mouth as he nipped at your bottom lip. “I’m giving you five,” his voice was deeper than you’d ever heard it, “and then I’m eating my come from your cunt and fucking you until the sun comes up.”
You gasped out a laugh as your arms wrapped around his shoulders. ‘They call it frenzy for a reason,’ you thought, kissing along his cheekbone and to his mouth. Gods, you were fucked.
#acotar fanfiction#acotar x reader#acotar x you#azriel shadowsinger#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel acotar#azriel spymaster#azriel supremacy#i love this bat boy sm#azriel fanfic#azriel smut#hoo boy this is nasty#Save a horse ride a bat boy am i right?#bat boys#bat boys x reader#azriel imagine#acotar imagine#acomaf#acowar#acosf#acofas#azriel acomaf#azriel acosf
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Crybaby — f. toji (pt. 1)
ˋ°•*⁀➷ Synopsis: When you realize your husband might still be hung up on his ex-wife.
・❥・requests : rules
・❥・characters: fushiguro toji.
warnings: mdni, 18+, kind of angsty, smut, degrotary terms (slut, bitch), saying the wrong name (whoopsy), drunk sex, very very very slight anal penetration, you are megumi's step mom, age gap, Toji's ex-wife's name is Rei, half-assed proofreading.
・❥・wc: 2.1k
・❥・masterlist
・❥・crybaby masterlist
Your ears rang with the sounds of laughter, chatter, and the bustling of the crowd. Your arm circled your husband's as you walked through the festival.
The event was coming to an end, which called for everyone to gather for the fireworks. You excitedly made your way to the benches with Toji in tow.
You were surprisingly quick, even with your kimono weighing you down. You were not one to dress up for festivals but you had just wanted to look and feel pretty for your husband today.
You were having the best day. Your mouth was still burning from the spicy yakisoba you had slurped up earlier, so you were delighted when Toji handed you a plate of dango for the two of you to enjoy.
Settling yourself down on one of the stair benches, Toji takes the now empty plate away and sets it down beside him.
You hug his arm close, leaning and nuzzling into him. A hummed slightly, feeling content with the evening.
It wasn't long before the first firework exploded into life. The sparks fly as if they defy gravity with the subtle deafening ringing they bring.
The colors of each firework erupt into intricate shapes, sweeping the crowd in their wonder.
You couldn't look away at the beginning, not risking to miss the sight. But after a while had the urge to make a comment on the fireworks.
You turn to look at Toji, only, his sight isn't parallel to yours. His thin lips held a smile as his eyes were trained on someone else.
A woman sitting way ahead at the front. She was cheering with her friends, the radiant light displayed on her skin. The muscles of your cheeks twitch, not being able to stop the frown from embedding itself.
You felt the uneasiness bubble in your stomach when your eyes ghosted over her features.
Your chest felt heavy, not really knowing why. Sure, he was looking at another woman, doesn't mean he likes her, right?
He is just admiring something else, there's nothing wrong with that. You do so too, it isn't really a big deal.
No need to make it a big deal.
Goosebumps spread across your body, feeling very uncomfortable all of a sudden.
The fireworks show was over, yet, his eyes hadn't left her, and yours hadn't left him.
You softly shake his arm making him look at you, and seeing your glum face made him concerned, not that he showed it.
"You okay?" He asked plainly.
"My stomach's upset, I don't think the dango was prepared well."
"Oh? I feel fine though. Sure it wasn't something you ate before the festival?" He asks, taking his arm out of your hold and touching your back.
"Could be. Can we leave? I think I just need to sleep it off."
"Sure, let's go." He stands up, taking your hand in his as the two of you start walking away.
You take one last look at the woman he was staring at, making sure your eyes weren't deceiving you.
And your heartbeat only faltered noticing her uncanny resemblance to Toji's ex-wife.
Toji sat on the couch enjoying the music playing on TV as you took a bath. It had become a custom.
Despite the fact you took longer to clean yourself up, you would always shower before him.
It used to be the other way around when you first moved in together, but while Toji would be in the bath you would end up falling asleep, Toji not having it in his heart to wake you.
So he insisted that you shower before him while he could catch up on other things.
Like right now, getting daily updates from Megumi.
"Where's mom? I want to say good night to her as well." Megumi's voice comes through from the phone.
"She's in the shower. How was college today?"
"Good. Tired though."
"Then sleep ya lil' shit."
"Not before I talk to Ma."
Toji grumbles.
"She just went, it might be a while."
"I'll wait."
You on the other hand were scrubbing every part of your body with a subtle harshness. The stinging cold water rained on you, the coolness calming the overwhelming thoughts of your brain.
This wasn't something that bothered you usually.
You loved your relationship with Toji, and you loved him. You loved Megumi as if he were your own blood.
Yet there was always something off, something uneasy that always radiated off of Toji.
And you knew why.
You always enjoyed the stories Toji would share about his past, Rei, and baby Megumi. Listening happily to him describing the husband and father he was before you came in.
You loved listening about Toji's last wife because you liked the small twinkle in his eyes, and how a smile would form on the usually stoic Megumi's face.
You understood and accepted the love he had for her. And you knew if she hadn't succumbed to her illness, the three of them would be a happy family.
And you wouldn't be here.
You had an unspeakable amount of respect for the late Rei, but just sometimes you wished it wasn't like this.
Because you would catch Toji trying to remind himself that she's not here anymore, and it's the most heartbreaking thing.
It was the first time the 12-year-old Megumi accidentally called you 'Mom' and you remembered catching Toji's crestfallen face from your peripheral vision.
It had only been 2 years into this relationship, so you were caught off guard when Megumi did so.
You were really happy, but catching the look on Toji's face made your head fill with doubt.
4 years after your relationship, Toji finally got on one knee. So why did he hesitate before slipping the ring on your finger?
You still remember your third date with this man. It was a month after you both met and had invited him home for dinner.
He had declined but later changed his mind. Despite his dislike for alcohol, you both shared a few cups of wine.
Wine lead to dinner...dinner lead to more wine...and wine lead to talks. During your conversation, he had let it slip that his ex-wife had died 3 years ago today.
And before you knew it, he was moaning her name as he fucked you.
Your face was pressed into the pillow, letting out guttural moans at Toji's thrusts. You could feel the veins of cock against your walls, and your eyes rolled back, never having experienced something like this before.
"Ngh~ Yes! Please don't stop!"
"F-fuck you like this bitch?"
He gives you a harsh spank, making you stick out your ass more and push against him. He suddenly halts, and his strong hold on you means you stopped too.
You manage to crane your neck and look back at him, taking note of his dazed look.
His face was pink and he looked completely out of it, and you couldn't tell if he was drunk on wine or your pussy.
His fingers brushed against your virgin entrance. Your breath hitched when he put pressure against the muscle.
"Relax. Had anything here before?" He asks, bringing his hand to his mouth and spitting on it.
"N-no..."
"Thought so." His wet fingers smoothed over your hole, simultaneously slipping his cock out, making you whine.
He crouches down, bringing his lips to where his fingers were, giving you a slow lick.
You flinch at the foreign touch.
"Toji~" Your voice sounded like you were crying.
"Shhh, won't do much, baby. Just enjoy this." His tongue finally pressed against you, your hole flexing against him.
His tongue pushed in slowly making you move away from him from embarrassment.
"I can't Toji... 's too much!" You cried against the pillow.
His hands engulf your body, holding you close.
"Shhhhh...it's okay. She liked it too, so you'll learn for me, okay?" He slurs.
There was a flicker of discomfort from his words, but before you could question it, his cock was in you.
His thrusts were faster than before, hands working your chest as they painfully pinch your nipples.
"Hngg! R-right there! There! Toji!~"
"Such a fucking slut. Taking a cock that's too big for her. You're squeezing me out of you, nasty bitch."
"Fuuckkk~ Please! Please! I'm s-so close- Ahh!"
Never had you had anything so deep within you before, your body absorbing every bit of pleasure that this man could give you.
"Yeah? Gon' cum f'me? Fuck cum baby. Wanna feel your pussy cum on me."
Toji's hand leaves your chest and finds your chin. He cups your face and brings you close to him, lips on your cheek as he grunts in your ear.
Your vision goes blank and you can hardly process Toji's moaning.
"You're so good Rei. So fuckin' proud of my wife. Clenching me so good. Gonna give you another baby, yea? Want my cum Rei?"
And you stupidly nod during your high, blatantly ignoring his calls for his ex-wife.
"Want your cum! Please Toji!"
You gasp out desperately. His hands find your hair, and he is once again pressing your face into the mattress.
Your body is shivering as you leave the shower, hand desperately wiping your face to soothe your red face.
Chewing on your lip, you sat on the bed contemplating your decisions up until now.
Did you make a mistake?
You did, didn't you?
You remember that night, just how pathetic you felt when you came to your senses.
There had been a slight ringing in your ear after the session. You would joke in your mind that it was a siren, warning you of this budding 'relationship'.
Toji had made you feel a satisfaction like no other, yet it had left you feeling a sense of malaise.
Neither of you addressed it the morning after. You wanted to say something but were unsure if he had retained any memory from the night before.
So you let it go, just giving an excuse like 'he was grieving' or 'we're not even official, it's fine' and 'we were both too drunk'.
And something like that never happened again, but you still can't help but think if every time you both get intimate, is it really just you on his mind?
Toji is caught off guard when he enters the room, the concern now evident on his face.
You had been behaving distant since the end of the festival, but seeing you spaced out, sitting at the edge of the bed with only a towel around you as your nails worked to peel off the chapped skin of your lips, something was very wrong here.
"You chill, babe?" Toji asks, Megumi still on video call.
You don't even flinch when you hear his voice. You just simply stop picking at your lips, look up, and smile sweetly at your husband.
"Mhm...just worrying about Megumi." You lie.
"Well, he's on call, waiting for you."
"Oh! Gimme!" You stand up quickly, pretending as if there's nothing wrong as you snatch his phone.
Seeing Megumi's.....your son's.....face lifted your heavy heart. You walk to the right side of the bed and settle yourself on the floor, back supported by the bed.
You look back once more, smiling at Toji.
"You should take a shower. And be quick, or I might just fall asleep before you." You grin before turning your attention to your...son.
Thinking of Megumi as your son had started to feel uneasy, especially in front of Toji.
"Hi, baby! How are the dorms? Have you been attending all your lectures? You shouldn't miss any." You start.
"Yes Ma, I have. They are interesting but the teachers are old and boring." You let out a giggle at his response. As you speak, you hear the showers turn on.
"You know, you can skip a few lectures here and there, just don't let it affect your credits. I won't tell your father."
"I heard that!" Toji's voice is muffled yet his words are clear, clear enough to reach Megumi.
You and Megumi let out a chuckle at this.
"Yeah yeah." Megumi lets out a yawn and you 'aw' at the sight.
"Go to sleep, honey. It's late." You say, secretly hoping to end the call early.
"Mhm, I'll talk tomorrow, Ma."
"Sure. Night baby. Muahh!" You lean forward to give an audible peck on the camera.
"Good night." Megumi smiles subtly at your actions before hanging up the call.
BEEP BEEP BEEP
You stand up from your seat on the floor, placing Toji's phone on the nightstand.
Walking towards the bathroom, you drop the towel on the floor and open the door.
From the looks of it, Toji had just finished cleaning his hair. So, without wasting time you crept up behind him.
Your hands find his back, slowly smoothing them over to the front. Toji had seen you enter so he wasn't surprised by your touch.
Your right hand that settled on his chest was now trailing lower and lower. Toji watched your hand intently, his eyebrows furrowing.
Just before your hand touched him, he had intercepted your trail by clutching your wrist in his hand.
He turned around, your wrist in his hold as he looked at you with a confused glare.
"Why are your hands shaking?"
#fushiguro toji#toji x reader#toji fushiguro smut#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro#jjk toji#toji x you#toji x reader angst#toji angst#toji and megumi#jjk#jjk fanfic#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader smut#jjk imagine#jujutsu kaisen x reader#x reader smut#toji smut#fushiguro#fem reader
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Dragonseed Chapter 1 : First Night
18+ | 6.4k | Daemon Targaryen X Female Dragonseed Reader | dangerous, sex starved, raunchy Daemon | virgin reader, first time sex, first night / prima noctae, big breast reader, daemon is a boob man in this, non con, non consensual, P in V, much groping, lots of typical Daemon cussing, starts out rough but reader enjoys it in the end, I just woke up with this in my head and needed to get it out.
Daemon has not been satisfied with his wife Rhaenyra lately. Frustrated and sexually deprived, he goes searching in the village at the base of the Dragonmont for a woman that might catch his eye. That's when he comes upon you, a beautiful, young dragonseed, ripe for the taking, whether you like it or not. I came up with the idea for this after reading page 914 in Fire and Blood. In the show, they recruit Valyrian blooded bastards to ride the unclaimed dragons from King’s Landing, but in the book there is actually a fishing village at the base of the island where Dragonstone is located. The men of House Targaryen were known to seek pleasure among the commonfolk there quite often, claiming their ‘first night’ rights and sowing ‘dragonseeds.’
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 On AO3
Rhaenyra has been an insufferable cunt as of late. First she had wallowed in the death of her son, Lucerys, which he understood to an extent. They were at war though and Daemon could not excuse her absence at council. There simply was no time for mourning when the Iron Throne was at stake.
When Rhaenyra finally returned to the painted table, she was in shambles, a scared, frail shadow of the strong Targaryen woman he’d known and cared for. It had taken all he had to hold back the grimace that fought its way out at the sight of her tear stained cheeks. They were of royal blood, Valyrian blood, and she should be ashamed to show such weakness openly, especially as the future queen.
She spoke of retribution for her fallen boy, demanding the life of the Hightower bitch’s second mongrel son, Aemond. Daemon had offered to fly to King’s Landing right away to avenge his wife, but none would take any part in his plan. So he did as he often did, connived in the shadows, plotting murder so that a one-eyed Targaryen princeling might die to replace the son Rhaenyra had lost.
But, it seemed nothing was ever good enough for the so-called Realm’s Delight. No act of loyalty, nor obeisance, nor love, nor retribution would ever amount to anything in his wife’s eyes. She did not seem to trust a word he said lately, viewing him always with thinly veiled scrutiny and scorning him from her bed every night. Perhaps she had only been interested in using him to solidify her claim as queen after all. The irony was not lost on him considering how badly he’d wanted the throne in the past. It all left Daemon feeling restless, his blood running hot with the need to satisfy his carnal urges. Admittedly, there were not many women within the confines of the castle, save for the servants, who were not especially comely. So, he ventured forth to the village below the Dragonmont, where farmers and fishermen lived around the now thriving port. There he walked the streets, drank in the tavern among the commonfolk, hoping to chance upon a suitable woman. Any fair of face with a willing cunt would satisfy his needs, but he was hoping to find someone of note, a beauty worth his seed.
So far, he has found nothing but mediocrity and it does nothing to stiffen his cock.
As he exits the tavern already deep in his cups, given the position of the sun it’s sometime past mid-day, and there is a celebration underway. A flutist is playing a lively tune as men and women alike dance together in the square. His eyes dart around, taking the scene in slowly considering his relatively inebriated state, until he catches a flash of blue.
And that is when he sees you. You are ravishing in light blue silk, a crown of yellow wildflowers upon your silvery-gold head of hair. Daemon finds himself completely enamored as he takes in your fetching features; the big blue eyes, your proud nose, those luscious lips, and the full swell of your breast has him reeling.
Daemon finds you a sight for sore eyes, a vision of purity and class coupled most gladly with the bosom of a well coveted whore. From the look of it, you are the bride, clutching arms with some young pup who is likely to be your new husband.
It was well known to Daemon that the towns below the mount were seeded with Valyrian blood. Going back two hundred years when Aenar Targaryen first arrived with his dragons, when the house began to practice the tradition of ‘First Night.’ Whereas a lord or king has the privilege over the smallfolk, to bed any bride first on their wedding night. As a result, it was not uncommon to see pale hair mixed in among the common, many having been bred within the Targaryen line for generations.
Daemon has never claimed such a right before, but he is inclined to command it at the sight of you. A wicked smirk begins to work it’s way up his lips as he approaches. He can’t believe his good fortune, that such a shining flower of a maiden was waiting for him, so close by, and that he just happened to stumble upon you at just the right moment to claim you.
As the King-Consort to be closes the distance, many begin to notice his presence with a look of awe and excitement on their faces. For on Dragonstone, the Targaryens were considered closer to the gods than other folk, and were esteemed as such. Brides that were chosen were considered blessed and envied by all. Many of these women were taken care of well by their benefactors, being endowed with luxurious gifts of jewelry, fine silks, and even bequeathed titles for land.
The children born of dragonseed were celebrated on Dragonstone and it is clear to Daemon by the fine silk of your wedding gown that you have been attended well by your Valyrian patron, whoever it may be.
He walks purposefully towards your merry, dancing form and takes hold of your arm to still your movement. When you look up at him, he cannot help but feel disappointed when your face drops, a look of despair crossing your face as you intrinsically know what he desires of you. Daemon had hoped you’d be pleased to attract his attention, that you’d consider it a godsend as most would. It is merely a minor blow to his ego that won’t stop him from taking your maidenhead.
Silence hangs in the air and before words can even be exchanged, an older woman with dark gray hair advances forth to him. She claims to be your mother and apologizes for your insolence.
‘The blood runs too strong in her, m’lord,’ she grovels with deference, bowing her head with every word.
Good he thinks to himself I like them feisty. Daemon grins, glaring sideways at the young man next to you. He would be considered handsome by most standards, but he is green, just a silly boy without disposition to even protect his alluring little wife. He intends to ruin you for any other fellow tonight, so not even your juvenile husband will ever be able to satisfy you again.
He snickers with satisfaction as your mother offers to escort the pair of you to a suitable location where he might take up his rights. Daemon can’t help but soak up every curve of your face and body like a predator eying up his next meal as she speaks, but you look on the verge of tears, ready to break at the thought of being torn away from your silly little wedding festivities.
“Might I freshen up first, My Prince,” you say, your civility barely held in tact through grit teeth.
“King,” he reminds you, furling his brow. This girl will be nothing but trouble. It will be best to break her swiftly. He then shakes his head non-nonchalantly. “And there is no need. You are already quite pristine and lovely in your wedding gown. I will take my claim now.”
You fluster, your cheeks growing impossibly red with embarrassment at not just the mention of his intent, but your own indignity as well. “My King,” you acknowledge his correction. “Allow us to ready the chambers for a man of your caliber. My marital bed is far too simple…” you continue prattling on. He isn’t really listening anymore though, instead focusing on the plump of your lower lip and how it might feel wrapped around his cock.
He also can’t help but notice how you sound much more proper than your mother, than most commonfolk really, and wonders if your Valyrian contributor has paid for your tutelage as well. You strike him as someone who has been overindulged in your life, treated as a lady of distinction. It would certainly explain your bratty attitude.
“I am not against the amenities of the commonfolk,” he offers indifferently. “As long as there is a clean surface, it will do.” It’s not like he hadn’t fucked in some of the filthiest brothels on the Street of Silk back in King’s Landing. At least there weren’t many rats in Dragonstone.
‘Oi, aell take ye to me own dwelling, m’lord,’ your mother is spouting now. ‘It aes clean, Ae wash the linens m’self.’
“Nonsense.” A man with well-kept clothes is now stepping forward and Daemon believes he recognizes him as the innkeep. He offers his finest suite for the union of Daemon and his freshly wed dragonseed maiden.
Gods, it’s good to be king.
Daemon can’t help but chuckle smugly at the look of absolute dread on your face. You think you’re so special, too important to be fucked by a king apparently. He was going to enjoy showing you otherwise.
His grip has not left your upper arm and it now tightens as he nods to the innkeep, accepting the proposition for a room. The man leads the way and Daemon follows, dragging you along with him and reveling in the way you peer back with sad lamb eyes at your newly minted husband. There is something so deliciously satisfying in tearing you away from that whelp of a lad, in taking what belongs to another simply because he can. It spoke to the primal side of him, the dragon within that would snatch up whatever it pleased without concern for morality.
He desires you now and he would soon have you whether you liked it or not. Rhaenyra had cowed him for far too long and now he’s going to reclaim his manhood, his brutal nature, by taking your bloody virtue on the head of his cock. For the bedroom was just as fierce as any battlefield and Daemon was a seasoned veteran of both arts.
Daemon’s stride is long and resolved as he jerks you closer to his side. You’re reluctant to be close to him, but finally heed the warning and match his pace as you both enter the tavern which also serves as the inn. Upstairs, the balding innkeeper opens the door and ushers Daemon into his freely provided chambers, with his unwilling maiden shuffling in beside him.
The room is quite nice for what it is. Accommodations for peasant folk were typically a mix of ramshackle furniture and blankets with patched holes in them, if the mattress had linens at all. This chamber is simple, but the furniture looks as though it were hand-crafted in town. The bed is very obviously carved by a skilled carpenter and topped with a red blanket as though it were actually a fine establishment.
“This will do nicely,” he nods to the innkeep. Even though Daemon knows he is not expected to offer compensation as an esteemed guest, he let’s you go from his grasp momentarily to fish a coin from his purse, and places it in the man’s hand. “My thanks,” Daemon offers plainly with a dismissive nod, declaring his desire to be left alone with his prize.
“My pleasure, My King,” the innkeeper says with an overzealous bow as he closes the door behind him, finally leaving Daemon alone with you.
You stand there looking like a stunned baby bird who has just fallen from the nest. Your hands are clasped together in front of your stomach as though that might defend you from his designs.
He smirks at you with a pointed laugh as he draws close. Daemon apprises you thoroughly, circling you like a beast as he takes in every sign of weakness, every swallow, every carefully withheld whimper.
“You know what will happen, girl?” he finally breaks the silence as he comes to a stop right behind you.
“Y-yes,” you answer unenthusiastically. The tremulous tone of your voice both excites and amuses him.
Daemon’s hands reach out to your waist then, finding the laces that hold your bodice tightly in place and he begins to untie them. You turn rapidly on your heels to face him, trying in vain to halt his advances. He can’t help but growl at your defiance as he tugs you against him, his grip like a biting jaw on your pliant body.
Grinning wickedly, he glares into your eyes, leaning in so closely that his forehead is against yours and his hot breath is in your face.
“I’m going to take you, little one,” his voice is filled with violence, his tone rough and dangerous. “You will give yourself readily or we can take the difficult path. But, I promise you would not like how brutish I can be. Especially considering how sore you will be once I take your maidenhood.”
Your expression contorts with hatred and insubordination as resignation tries to take root, but ultimately you refuse to budge. He has not broken your spirit yet, but he knows he soon will. Daemon hopes to avoid being truly cruel to you, that is unless you remind him of his fucking wife by being so gods damned obstinate. Then he might just be forced to take his impotence out on you.
“Or maybe…” he continues with a sardonic twitch of his brow. “Maybe since you’re behaving like such an ungrateful bitch, I’ll just fuck you hard and deep until I spill seed in your unspoiled little cunt. I might even keep you here all day, perhaps all night. I have not wet my cock for at least a moon’s length and I am wont to gorge myself in you.”
Your breath hitches at his menacing coercion and tears begin to well in your eyes. It doesn’t bother him, in fact he thinks you might look even more attractive when you’re crying. Most importantly, you nod subtly as you finally understand the truth of your situation, that he has conquered your rebuffs and brought you low before him. You should be much more compliant now.
Daemon presses a kiss against your cheek, relishing the taste of your fear and the way your body tenses in his arms. “Good girl,” he states in a calmer voice.
He swiftly turns you around again, his fingers moving deftly to work the laces of your corset free. You are sobbing quietly and even though he relishes the idea of making you submit, of seeing your eyes red and swollen as you take him to the hilt, it’s becoming tiresome to hear as he undresses you.
“Would you cease with all that incessant blubbering?” he chides you with palpable irritation. He pulls at your laces, then the fabric of the bodice, going back and forth to loosen it enough so he remove it from your body.
“I’m scared,” you peep. “That you will hurt me.” You’re reminding him of a bird once more, perhaps a little chick with no wings to fly, sniffling and pathetic as you accept your fate.
Daemon lets out an exasperated sigh. He would almost rather you be angry and spiteful than sniveling like this. He should have known to use a different tact, but he’s been out of practice for quite some time. He now sees with clarity that you’d be far more susceptible to seduction rather than brute force, but his anger with Rhaenyra had him on edge.
He places his hands on each of your shoulders and cranes his neck forward until his lips meet the spot below your right ear. You jump as he presses a gentle kiss against your skin, his fingers reaching over and caressing along your collarbone. He can feel you relax considerably with his shift in behavior and takes the opportunity to slide the sleeves of your dress down your arms.
“You need not be scared, little bird,” he whispers into your flesh as he leaves another kiss wet against the base of your neck. “I have bedded many a maiden in my time, and I assure you that I am a far more experienced and skillful lover than that untried boy you call husband.”
You swallow with difficulty and then your whole chest heaves upward as you let out a shaky breath. He is not sure if you’re still apprehensive about the pain involved in the act itself or if you dislike hearing him speak ill of your new spouse. It matters not, for Daemon knows he is best suited to tend to your needs on this day, and he will deliver you swiftly from your pain if you serve him well. He could also make it much worse than it has to be if you don’t.
But for the moment, you’re obliging him, not even resisting as he slips the sleeves of your dress off of your hands and they fall to your side. He groans at the pale skin bared to him, feverish at the thought of groping those large tits of yours without the restraint of any bindings.
“I know how best to alleviate your discomfort, my dear,” he continues, his breath tickling your skin. “I know how to hasten you to pleasure.” Daemon sucks teasingly at the lobe of your ear and delights as you shiver and goosebumps break out across the exposed flesh peering out from your low neckline. He is getting so eager now, craving the way you’ll squirm beneath him as he touches you, as he claims you.
He rocks the slackened bodice down over your waist, wiggling it from side to side until it clears your hips and the entire gown finally falls to the floor in a heap. You still don a sleeveless cloth chemise underneath that goes down past your knees, but the fabric is so thin that he can see the outline of your figure right through it.
Daemon feels the hairs on the back of his neck bristle as his cock bulges painfully against his breeches. He’d been so caught up in taming you, so fervent at the thought of plundering your shores, that he hadn’t even realized how much he was aching for you.
With a surge of fist and cord, his trousers are on the ground and he practically tears his braies off so he can press his throbbing length against you sooner. Being liberated from his smallclothes leaves his member free to prod the valley of your arse, and he yanks you back tightly against his chest with a grunt that makes you chirp. You are his sweet, helpless baby bird, ready to be devoured by the fox.
As though pulled by an invisible force, his hands are already snaking around to your front catching your breasts, one in each hand as he kneads them forcefully. You let out a strangled cry of distress as he tweaks your nipples firmly and Daemon’s eyes roll up at the supple, yet dense give of your breasts.
“By the old gods,” he rasps out, looking over her shoulder at the beautiful sight below of cleavage and ample bosom turning in his grip. “These are surely sacred treasures befitting a king.”
He has to feel you without the interference of meddling fabric, needs to see your breasts in all their splendor, to touch-taste-suck them until you cry out. A growl erupts through his nasal cavity and he abruptly yanks your shift down your shoulders, ripping the straps in the process of revealing your remarkable tits.
Seeing your exposed bosom, Daemon grinds his cock into your arse with arousal, his restraint faltering with the promise of you. He spins you towards him, walking backwards to the bed and drawing you by the hands with him. He glances up to see the uneasy expression on your face, the blush in your cheeks as you allow him to lead you. His cheekbones rise and his brow furrows slightly, regarding you with discernment and maybe a sense of pride as you walk bravely forward.
Daemon decides after brief consideration, that he likes you this way: vulnerable, yet courageous. The thought is fleeting as he hits the edge of the bed and sits down without hesitation, tugging you close until you are standing in the space between his parted thighs. Your tits are right in his face now, just where he wants them.
With an aggressive pull, he wrenches the shift from your body, laying you completely bare to him. He doesn’t even know where to begin, so much pale and youthful skin to take in that it makes him absolutely ravenous. Daemon’s hand reaches behind your back, holding you in place as he practically inhales your breast into his mouth. You writhe in his embrace, trying to back away from the intensity of his hungry maw to no avail as his strong arms keep you effortlessly in place.
He nips at the stiff peak, relishing the way you jump in response. Daemon’s hand slides downwards, cupping your round, tight ass with a squeeze. He leans back, taking in the view for a moment as he licks with the point of his tongue around your pale pink areola. He switches to the other beautifully pliant tit, tracing a line with his tongue across the valley of your breasts.
Daemon sucks hungrily at your nipple, palming the other with fanatical tenacity. He can feel your body wanting to withdraw, the way it pushes for more and pulls back at the same time, yet your feet remain firmly planted. He’d praise you for being so mannerly if his mouth weren’t full with your delicious tit at the moment.
He can feel his pulse pounding throughout his cock, standing erect between his legs and starving for any attention it can get from you. He relinquishes his grip on your breast, daring an attempt at getting you to relieve his torment as he clutches your hand and brings it down. Your hand retreats backwards, not wishing to participate, but Daemon is firm with you, guiding you to wrap your little bird wings around his engorged member.
Tepid, featherlight fingers graze against the sensitive skin of his too-fat-with-blood cockhead, and he lets loose a growl against the slope of your chest. “Fuck,” he hisses, sucking air through his teeth as you reluctantly touch him. At this point, his sexual deprivation paired with the immense lust he feels for you makes even your untrained pawing feel flawless in execution.
He’s quickly reaching the point of no return, his carnal urges so great that he knows he must have you soon. Daemon’s fingers lower to your tight little cunt, checking to see how ready you are for his impending intrusion. A knowing grin spreads across his cheeks as he feels the silken wet state of your folds.
“Mmm,” he pulls off of your nipple, peering up at you with violet eyes full of mischief. “Are you holding back how much you desire me, little bird? You naughty thing. What will your husband think?”
You flush red and while he was hoping to see indignation, he’s not displeased with the look of yearning present instead. Had he actually managed to ensnare you with the capable way he handled your body? Had he charmed you into his grasp when it seemed impossible you might actually enjoy yourself? Your silence is complicity as far as he is concerned.
Daemon smirks up at you deviously before switching back to your left breast, his tongue dancing across the tender nub as his fingers test and prod at your entrance. He doesn’t feel a solid membrane, but one that has already been teased on multiple occasions, likely coaxed from the efforts of the wanton little dragonseed herself. He could take her virtue with very little pain and she might even find pleasure in the act.
Dragging creamy nectar up from your heat, he holds your hood back, pressing his middle finger to your swollen pearl with a light, circular motion. You jolt into him, leaning forward as though your knees might buckle with even the slightest of coaxing from his touch.
He does not relent, continuing his attentions to both of your breathtaking breasts as he caresses the peak of your sex with practiced grace. You begin to whine, flinching your shoulders with every nip and suck of your tender nipples, your body becoming overly sensitive with his continued ministrations.
Daemon can feel the tension in your body rising and knows that you are ready for him. And not a moment too soon, he muses to himself, lest he lose his fucking mind with desperate need of you.
He stands up suddenly, gently walking you back a couple steps. He then picks you up into his arms with one fluid motion before depositing you with careful precision onto the bed. You look up at him with big eyes, dilated black with arousal as he climbs on top of you.
“You are a sight to behold, dear girl,” he says hoarsely, his voice heavy with desire. “I will not regret this joining and nor should you.” You look bewildered, a flurry of emotions all rolled into one, acutely aware and fuzzy at the same time.
For the first time, Daemon kisses you, and the feeling is like molten lava blazing through his heart and pooling in his gut. His cock is hard and threatening against your thighs, seeking entry with every jerk and twitch. His tongue sinks through your parted lips, dipping into the heat of your mouth, wanting to consume you whole.
He parts from your lips with an intake of breath, declaring gruffly, “You know that you belong to me now?”
With your quiet acceptance, Daemon positions his head at your core, pressing in just enough to fit snugly against your entrance. Leaning down once more, he cradles your back in his arms and presses another kiss to your lips. He needs to keep you distracted, his tongue dancing with yours, keeping you from dwelling too long on unavoidable pain. Gods knew, the feel of your passionate kiss was enough to divert his attention away from all meaningful thought besides the easing of your hurt.
Without warning, Daemon thrusts into you, breaking through your virtue as he holds you tightly. You cry out in startled agony as his length enters you, tears welling in the corners of your eyes at the sudden flash of pain. He holds position within you, soothing you with hushed whispers and gentle kisses through the worst of it.
As he thought, you are not upset for long, within moments already wiggling your hips around his swollen cock and hungry for more. He can’t help but grin with smug satisfaction at the way your body begs for more without speaking any words. Daemon will give you exactly what you crave. In fact, he loves how quickly you’ve become his little bird, his sweet harlot, forsaking your new husband for him in no more than a hand’s width of daylight.
He winces as he begins to move again; the way your cunt clings to his intruding cock for dear life is almost too much to bear. Daemon pulls back slightly to take you in and is not disappointed by the way your pretty lips are spread and panting out quick breaths of ecstasy. He had not lied to you, he’d certainly been with his fair share of maidens. None have come close to matching the beauty of your deliverance from chastity. You take to his girth with aplomb, to the act of love-making with a passionate, melodious abandon.
Daemon would watch your blissfully lurid expression, listen to your dulcet of sinful delectation, all day if he could. But, it’s not long before he can tell that your little cunny is going to give him trouble. If it hadn’t been so long since the last time he knew a pleasure better than his fucking hand, he might be able to deal with you. But, you are so fucking tight and he’s so wound up, that he opts to go out with a clash of smacking flesh. If he cannot make you peak this time, then he most certainly will on the next try, and he will most certainly take you again.
Your lilting moans drive him closer to the edge, pushing him faster than he’d like. Rearing up onto his knees, he clutches your hips tightly and spreads you across his lap. Daemon desperately tries to push you along to your climax, knowing it will be a race that he is likely to lose. He’s not expecting the intense response you give him or the way your hips buck as he coaxes your pearl to completion.
His eyes widen in disbelief, wincing as your pelvis seizes and you clamp down on him with a force so powerful it undoes him. “Fuccccking Hells!” he growls out sounding like a gruff animal as your walls milk his seed forth. Daemon’s member pulses violently, your muscles finally letting up only to begin rolling in waves across his length. “Gods fucking damn, girl!” he steadies himself against the bed, almost falling on top of you in the process.
His release lurches through his body, demanding and powerful as he erupts into you. He is faintly aware of the way your chanting with delight, muttering something incoherent while your small hands remain fastened to his back, holding onto him. The overwhelming rush finally passes and he is left feeling weak, breathless, but oh so fucking good.
Daemon wilts onto you, pressing a contented kiss against your lips. He’s not entirely surprised, but is still pleased when your hands find the back of his neck, deepening the kiss with vehemence. He feels the musculature of your inner lining contract upon his cock again and shakes his head as he parts from your lips.
“No. No more of that,” he gripes, still too sensitive to take that kind of abuse.
He recoils as he withdraws from you, unable to believe how big his cock looks, not fully hard, but still excessively fat considering. Daemon lies down beside you, wrapping his arm behind you and pulling you close.
You come willingly, cuddling into the crook of his arm as your hungry fingers roam about his jerkin.
And then it dawns on him, that in his impatience, he never even bothered to fully disrobe. He dutifully unfastens the clasps on his leather vest, displacing you for a moment as he tosses it aside and tears off his doublet.
“There,” he says with confidence. “Now you can have the full show.”
You laugh, a mirthful sound that makes his heart ache in a good way. Gods, he had really needed to get in a good plowing. He can feel all of his anger and tension melting away as he takes you back into his arms.
“So? Was it all bad?” he asks, fishing for compliments because he loves to hear them. He’d especially welcome them from a stubborn creature such as yourself.
Quietly, you shake your head, seeming at a loss for words. He could understand. A lot had happened in such a short amount of time. He’d essentially stolen you from the path you’d been traveling, plucked you up for himself without your say so. Daemon wouldn’t prod you to talk about it now that his appetites were sated, wouldn’t tease you about your husband now that he had claimed you fully.
He raises a brow as you speak unexpectedly, listening intently for your first real words since he’d imposed himself upon you.
“It was enjoyable,” you answer respectfully, your lusting eyes betraying your true feelings as your hands rove over his now bare chest, eager for more.
“Only enjoyable, little bird?” he decides to tease you a little bit, just for fun.
That mellifluous laugh returns, making him smile genuinely as he gazes upon you. Daemon strokes your back, relishing in the warm plushness of your skin as he settles into bed.
“Why do you keep calling me little bird?” she asks instead of padding his ego. “I am a dragon just as you… Am I not?”
His whole face lights up with a self-satisfied smirk. “Oh, are you a dragon now? I thought you were just a little bird.”
“I am a seed,” you contend with him, far more seriously than he expects you should. “I am of your line too.” You run your fingers into your disheveled hair, twirling cornsilk strands as evidence.
“Well, yes, but you are not quite a dragon. It’s true you have wings and the means to fly, but that does not make a dragon, my delicate little bird,” he cannot help but say it with a mocking tone, enjoying your reactions too much to let it go.
You dare a fearless smack at his chest, indignant and pouting. He would normally kill someone for laying hands on him in any manner of disrespect, but Daemon does not mind it from you in this moment.
“Perhaps, you do have some fire in you yet,” he taunts you with amusement. You look at him wide eyed as though he’s about to admit that you are a dragon just as he is. You make this too easy. He chuckles as he continues to rib you, “I’ll call you my firebird then. I think that suits you nicely.”
Daemon’s brow winks with humor as you take another swing at him. He holds your arms down to your sides as he pulls you on top of him. He let’s you go as your annoyance settles, regarding you fondly as he tucks loose tresses of silvery hair behind your ears.
“I hope you know that I’m going to come back for you again and again, my little firebird,” he utters in a lower tone, his voice taking on a more serious quality now.
You give him a twisted look of both gladness and remorse, your mind unable to decide whether this is a good or a bad thing.
“Do you care for your husband?” he asks earnestly, not pleased with the idea of another man laying hands on you. “I can conscript him to the queen’s army if you wish to free yourself from him. You need only ask.”
You look torn, but he can tell you’re considering his words carefully. “He is not a bad man as far as I know. The marriage was selected by my mother, my husband earns a living well enough to pay my way.”
It bothers Daemon to hear you call the man your husband, even if it’s true. He considers killing the man masquerading as your groom for you should undoubtedly belong entirely to him and no other.
“Paying your way will no longer be an issue. I will ensure that you are financially supported from this day forth, but I will not give you up,” he hears the words spilling from his mouth and feels like an old fool. He’d celebrated too many namedays to be spewing this lovesick shit? He couldn’t help it though. You stoked a fire inside of him that made him feel alive and vibrant, he needed to keep burning with you.
“I appreciate that,” you offer with a small, but hesitant smile. “I’m sure my mother will be thrilled. She has always tried to make sure I’m well looked after. It’s unfortunate you could not find me a day sooner. I’m not sure how to face him now,” she says with a trembling lip. “He will expect to bed me. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to. It would make me nothing but a whore.”
“Hush,” Daemon says disagreeably. “Don’t say such things.” He finds himself cradling your sweet head against his chest, hating how true your words are and that he is the one responsible for your situation. He must make it his own responsibility to free you from it then.
“I’ll pull you to castle staff then,” he offers, grasping at possible solutions. It would not be wise to tempt Rhaenyra’s wrath under her own roof, but it would be a means to separate you from your husband at least temporarily, until something more lasting could be devised. There were many positions that would keep you far from his wife’s vicinity as well, if she would even notice that he had taken a lover to begin with.
He might also simply murder the bastard and be done with it, but it might be nice to have you close by in Dragonstone too for opportunistic dalliances.
You begin to protest the idea of going to work at the castle, but he won’t hear any of it and interrupts you. “I will give you a choice then, in recompense for what I’ve taken from you. Will you stay with me, little firebird, or with your husband?” He peers at you with thoughtful bluish-red irises, waiting to hear your answer. He has already decided that he will abide by whatever ruling you make, at least for a time. If you wish to bed your husband as well as him, then that will be your prerogative.
“I do not wish to stay with my husband,” you say quicker than he anticipated.
“Well,” he practically gloats with a mischievous grin. “You’ll be coming home with me then.” Daemon presses a happy kiss against your lips, the sight of your bosom sinfully crushed against his chest sends a pang of desire to his cock, signaling it for action. “But, we might as well make good use of the room first. It was graciously afforded to us after all.”
Daemon reaches down to grip your hips, letting forth a hiss of air as he positions you on his already rigid length. You, his little firebird, would be keeping his flame kindled all this day and perhaps all night as well, with many more to follow. You were his now, born from a threat and remade into a promise that he intended to keep. Dragonseed has officially been continued! Read Chapter 2
#daemon targaryen x oc#daemon targaryen fanfic#daemon targaryen#house of the dragon#hotd daemon#fanfic#hotd#a song of ice and fire#daemon targaryen smut#hotd fanfic#daemon smut#daemon fic#asoiaf#mgurl#daemon fanfic#hotd smut#house targaryen#targcest#fanfiction#female reader#daemon x reader#daemon x you#daemon x y/n#daemon targeryen x reader#daemon targaryen x you#daemon targaryen imagine#daemon targaryen x reader#daemon x reader smut#dragonseed x daemon#dragonseed
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My Little Girl
This is an Evan Buckley imagine I very suddenly had an idea for. I hope you will all like it, please let me know what you think.
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Evan Buckley Masterlist
Summary: Evan is happy to bump into his wife and daughter while out on a call. But things go sideways when they get involved in a sniper shooting and his daughter gets hurt.
Enjoy.
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"Em! What are you doing?" (Y/n) took a sharp breath when her eldest pulled on her arm, almost yanking her arm out of its socket. A jolt ran through her shoulder but she paid it no mind, focusing her attention on Ember instead.
The fifteen year old tightened her arm that was looped through the crook of (Y/n)'s elbow and started speeding up, subsequently dragging her mum along with her.
"That's dad's truck, right?"
Hope fuelled Ember's voice and a smile lit up her face when she pointed towards the fire truck across the road that acted like a beacon drawing her in. For the last four and a bit years since her dad became a fire fighter, Ember lit up whenever she saw a truck or heard that familiar siren. She was always looking out for the trucks, wondering if it was her dad's team passing by. Just like her younger siblings did.
And the few times she saw the right truck it was like she was floating. Ember had spotted her dad driving the truck once on her way to school and she had grinned like the Cheshire Cat when he flicked the siren on as they passed her by.
(Y/n) squinted and leaned forward, looking ahead at the truck but her lips curved into a smile when she noticed the writing on the side.
118.
Oh yes, that was her husband's truck.
"You wanna go see if he's there?" (Y/n) already knew the answer and when her daughter visibly shivered and nodded, they changed their direction.
The pair of them had been out for a doctor's appointment this morning, something Ember wasn't so good with. She couldn't handle needles and this morning the nurse had the joys of trying to take a blood sample from Ember. After three goes of trying to find a suitable vein, Ember fainted and she still looked a bit worse for wear. But seeing her dad's team might be the thing to perk her up before (Y/n) walked her back to school.
The pair of them turned to the left and crossed the road, aiming for the truck parked up on the side of the street. There was an ambulance parked just behind the truck and another truck from a different station a few feet ahead.
If they were busy or right in the middle of a call then the girls would carry on their way and head back. But they knew it was worth searching just to see if they could catch a glimpse of Evan at work.
They spotted him instantly. He was the odd one out in the group of men stood on the pavement beside the truck like they were having a motherly meeting.
Evan had his back to them but from the way his biceps were tensed, he looked to have his arms folded over his chest. He was wearing a tight pair of black jeans and a white button up shirt with faint golden lines sewn into the material. The sleeves were short and looked like they were digging into his biceps that were a little too big to fit properly into the sleeve holes.
"Dad."
Ember glanced at her mum for approval before she slid her arm from (Y/n)'s elbow as Evan spun on his heels.
A bright smile lit up Evan's face and his arms dropped from his chest and opened wide when he saw his girl barrelling towards him. His teeth sank down into his lower lip and his arms bound tight around Ember when she tucked herself into his chest. He felt her arms squeezing around his chest and her nose pressed against his sternum as she burrowed into him.
He kissed the top of her head before pressing his cheek into her hair and he began to sway them from side to side.
"Hey sweetheart." He murmured softly into her hair while his eyes lifted and locked onto his wife.
He watched (Y/n) stand beside Eddie, her arms folded over her chest and a soft grin on her lips.
The team knew all of Evan's family, they had to considering Eddie was his best friend and Chimney was practically an in-law now he was dating Maddie. Each of them knew Ember, the fifteen year old frequented the station often enough. They knew she was the apple of Evan's eye, and everyone knew he would get defensive if people dared to snigger or comment on the fact that he had only been seventeen when he had her.
He always said she was one of the best things to ever happen to him.
Ember tilted her head back so she could look up at Evan, her grin never wavering whilst her chin pressed down into his chest just below his collar bone.
"How'd it go this morning?" He took the chance to peck her forehead while his hand glided up and down her back.
Ember darted her eyes down, focusing on one of the buttons on her dad's shirt before she loosened her left arm from around his waist. She reeled her arm back and nudged up her sleeve to let him see her elbow. There were three distinctive red marks on her skin that showed the nurse's failed attempts at drawing blood. And then there was one larger blood wheel where they finally got to take two samples.
She had an under-active thyroid which needed constant monitoring and an iron deficiency. So blood tests were needed every other month so they could try and get her on meds to keep everything under control and try to lower the side effects.
"I passed out, mum caught me though."
"That bad, huh? We'll have to get Chim to do your bloods next time." Evan pecked her temple once again before he unravelled his arms from his girl and looked towards his wife.
(Y/n) rose a brow and dragged her eyes up and down his frame. The first two buttons on his shirt were undone, but apart from that, he didn't look like he was no shift at work. He wasn't out of breath, he wasn't sweating through his clothes or red-faced or using any equipment. He looked like a passer-by rather than one of the team considering the rest of them were in uniform.
"Are you too good for your uniform?" She dropped her folded arms and reached out for Evan's chest when he stood in front of her. He tipped his chin down and looked over his attire, suddenly remembering he still wasn't dressed for work.
He had only just turned up at work after dropping the two younger kids off to school when Eddie said they had a call. There wasn't time for Evan to hop in the locker room and get changed into his uniform so he climbed in the truck and off they went.
"Hm, something like that. You okay?" The smirk on Evan's face had (Y/n) breaking out into a grin and she dragged her nails up and down his chest before peppering kisses up the side of his neck.
"You mean besides practically carrying our fifteen year old out the doctors, yeah I'm good. You can take her next time though."
It was no secret that Ember was a daddy's girl, she was always going to be calmer with him. Although she had done great at staying calm today, even when she fainted she had come round and got back up again perfectly well. But it would have been easier with Evan there. He could have caught her a bit more gracefully than (Y/n) had since she practically fell on top of Ember when she tried to stop her sliding off the chair onto the floor.
It was just a relief that she was fine and moving about now as if nothing had happened this morning.
"I will, baby, don't worry." He nudged his nose against hers, gently tilting (Y/n)'s head back enough to capture a quick but searing kiss from her lips.
A grin broke out on Ember's face and she dragged her hands up and down her arms, arching a brow at Chimney when he pulled a face at seeing her parent's display of affection.
"So, where are you two headed?" Both Chimney's hands fell to his hips and his fingers began to tap along with his foot beating out a rhythm against the pavement.
This call had been surprisingly quick and now all of them could head back to their station. No one would be opposed to (Y/n) and Ember coming back to the station with them for a while. Especially since Hen and Bobby would most likely be on shift by now. They hadn't been as early as Eddie and Evan this morning and Chimney had already been on shift for two hours.
"School." Ember muttered with pursed lips and a quiet sigh. The only good thing about her doctors appointments was the fact that they had to happen within school hours. The GP office was only open between school hours and closed on weekends, and they had to fit Ember's appointments around (Y/n) and Evan's work shifts.
She couldn't go by herself because she was only fifteen and she had a tendency to faint. Someone had to accompany her.
Eddie leaned one elbow against the truck and used the other to give (Y/n) a slight nudge when she and Evan finally parted.
"I bet you've got time for a coffee." He grinned, flashing his pearly whites when (Y/n) nodded and Ember's smile brightened. She didn't have to go back to school right this minute. They had time for a trip in the fire truck and a coffee at the station before (Y/n) got her back to school.
(Y/n) rolled her lips together and glanced over at her daughter. She was stood back on the pavement, swaying from one side to the next as she retold one of Evan's embarrassing stories to Chimney. Her grin broadened every time Evan shook his head or sighed. He was stood near the back of the truck with the Captain from the 227 beside him as they had been at this scene for backup.
She twisted to look back at Eddie with a soft grin. They had time, it would perk Ember up to be around the team for a while and it would let (Y/n) be with Evan for a bit too. And they needed to arrange plans with Eddie since Chris was dying to come over for a sleepover, and he wouldn't stop hassling Buck until they sorted it out.
"Yeah, I think-"
Whatever (Y/n) was about to say faded out into silence in comparison with the gunshots that rang out through the air.
Evan froze.
His muscles contracted, his head tilted back and his arms froze in mid-air when blood splattered up his shirt and across his face like someone had drove past him and hit a puddle. He couldn't help but flinch, feeling his upper lip curl and a disgruntled noise swallowed at the back of his throat.
For a second, when the blood hit, his eyes closed. But the moment they opened, it was as if his whole world had fallen apart.
His daughter fell.
Her body twitched and turned to the side as if she was searching for him and it cut violently at his heart strings. She didn't quite seem to recognise that the blood covering Evan was her own because something horrid and frightened dwelled in her eyes when she looked at him.
It made her look like a little girl again.
Like the little two year old that stopped Evan from completing his training for the Marines. The little heartstopper he couldn't get out of his head while they were trying to train him to lose all emotion. Or the eight year old who loved it when Evan worked in that bar in California because he would always take her to the beach on his days off.
Then she stumbled. Her feet slipped, her upper body tilted backwards and she went down to the floor as blood soaked into her school shirt, changing it from crystal white to rose red. It blossomed on her shirt like petals being scattered over her body. And the way it trickled out the exit wound in her back, creating a darkened puddle on the floor beneath her.
Static buzzed in Evan's ears as his tense, taut body suddenly jolted when the Captain launched himself at him. He grabbed the back of Evan's neck and his arm and tackled him to get him down to the floor as close to the truck as they could manage to be hidden from the line of fire. No one could hear, think or understand where the shots had come from and at least two more hit the engine of the truck and bounced off into the street.
Evan didn't realise he was making a noise until the ringing in his ears slowly faded and gave way to the petrified scream that took all the air from his lungs. When he dragged in another breath, he went right back to screaming until he was red in the face and the vein was popping up the side of his neck.
His nails clawed at the tarmac road until blood started to scrape along the pad of his fingers.
"Ember!" His daughter's name morphed into a scream but when he tried to scoot closer to her, The Captain laid over his back and pinned him down, still holding the back of his head to keep him looking down.
"Shots fired! Repeat, we're being shot at! Civilian down, back up needed now. Send help!" Chimney screamed into the radio clipped to his shoulder while he cowered down, using the truck as cover next to Evan and the other Captain.
(Y/n) couldn't see.
Spots flooded her vision and a terrible ringing like constant bells were going off in her ears, blocking out the rest of the noises around her.
She felt frozen to the spot, right until Eddie's hands clamped down on her arms and he was pulling her away. He was trying to take her away from her daughter. She needed to get to Ember. She had to get to her little girl. She was hurt, she was in agony, she needed protecting.
(Y/n)'s arms started to bash from side to side and horrid, burning screams left her lips that she could hardly hear. She couldn't hear Eddie's rough, calloused voice telling her to get down. Telling her he would get to Ember, but they needed cover first, they needed to hide. They had no idea where the sniper was or why he was shooting at them.
She didn't care. (Y/n) just wanted her daughter. her knees scraped against the floor and the back of her head collided with the truck when Eddie yanked her back into his chest. He rolled onto his back, sliding off the pavement and onto the rough tarmac road with (Y/n) against his chest. He bound his arms around her waist, preventing her from moving.
Eddie would never forgive himself if he didn't protect (Y/n) in time and let her get shot. They had all failed already, Ember had gotten hurt, Eddie couldn't let anyone else get shot. He couldn't let another one of Evan's family get shot down after his teenage daughter.
"Em! Ember-"
"We'll get her. We will, just stay down, please." Eddie could feel tears welling up in his eyes when (Y/n) started to sob.
He had known them for over four years. He knew Ember since she was ten, she had grown up with Chris, the two of them were like siblings and seeing her get hurt in turn hurt Eddie too. He would help her if he could, but he had to keep (Y/n) down here where she was covered and protected by the truck.
Eddie was used to batlefields, he knew how to navigate them and he knew this was the best option for her.
Evan wasn't sure how he heard it over the raised, screaming voices, the shots and the sirens wailing from the trucks, but he heard it. Evan heard his name. Or maybe he just saw the way Ember's lips moved to try and form his name but either way, he knew his little girl was calling out for him. And he had to get to her.
He thrust his elbow into the Captain, he screamed and roared until he managed to roll under the truck. He was getting his daughter back in his arms, he had to get to her and she was going to be taken to the hospital whether the shooter liked it or not.
Evan army crawled beneath the truck, scraping his chin against the floor to stop from bashing his head up against the metal.
"Ember! Sweetheart I- I'm here!" He poked his head out from under the engine and took a quick look round for the shooter but he couldn't see anything. His vision was blurred and hazy and his eyes were moving too rapidly to take anything in. All he could see was Ember.
Blood was forming a river beneath her chest and her white shirt was turning crimson from the rouge blood dribbling down it. She had been shot in the chest, but she was still conscious. Her head slowly lolled to the right to look at her dad and he saw the manic fear and the pain dwelling in her eyes as his name bubbled past her lips.
"D-dad-"
"I've got you baby."
He didn't know where to grab her. Where could he hold her without inflicting agony on her? Where would be the best place to grab her so he could drag her across the road to get her beneath the truck with him? He wasn't sure and he didn't have time to debate it, he had to be quick.
His fingers dug into her shirt just near the collar and his nails scratched through the thin material until he was scraping her skin beneath his short nails. His right hand pressed into the floor to steady himself when he started to pull. A violent scream tore from Evan's lips as he shuffled back and dragged his daughter with him.
"Come on!" His words mingled with Ember's tormented cry when he pulled her sharply and the pain ignited in her chest. Tears blurred down her face and her wet lips parted to let out another tepid, meek cry when the tarmac scraped against her back that felt like it was on fire.
The clouds in the sky looked like cotton candy swirling above her head and Ember could see stars shining above her in the middle of the day. The pain became too overwhelming to continue staring at the sky so she snapped her eyes closed as tightly possible. Emitting a feeble howl when her dad yanked her by the scruff of her shirt with an unknown force that had her sliding beneath the fire truck.
Once they were both safely hidden beneath the engine of the truck, Evan let his head slump down against his forearm and he tried to catch his breath back. He could feel his body shaking, his muscles tightening from straining to drag his daughter with only one hand. But he couldn't stay here. He couldn't stop, he had to keep moving. He had to get her to the hospital. Evan couldn't let his daughter bleed out on the road; he couldn't lose her.
"I got you, sweetheart."
Evan could feel his elbows and knees scraping against the floor causing bloodwheels and grazes to cut into his skin, but he didn't care. He latched both hands beneath his daughter's arms and shuffled backwards, beneath the truck to the other side where his wife and team were.
"We need assistance-"
"Get in the truck! We have to move her. Now!" Evan's hoarse, scraping voice cut over Chimney's through the radio and he pointed at the truck as venom and spit passed his lips. He wasn't waiting here like a sitting duck and letting his daughter die in the street.
Tears streaked down (Y/n)'s face and her hands scraped against the gravel to shuffle closer to her daughter.
Why her?
Why Ember? Had she been an intended target? Surely not, no shooter would know that (Y/n) and Ember would cross the street to talk to the firemen. They had to be innocent bystanders, but if they weren't the target, who was? Which one of the team was supposed to be hit? Was it Eddie, who had been closer to (Y/n)? Was Evan supposed to have been hit? Why were they being targeted?
Why had their daughter been shot?
She could feel Eddie's hands on her shoulders and his body hovering behind her, trying to shield her just in case the shooter was going to target her too. He would rather keep (Y/n) and Ember safe than faff trying to protect himself right now.
A round of trembling shook Ember's body back and forth against the pavement but she could barely feel it. She couldn't feel anything but the hole in her chest just beneath her right shoulder. It felt like her skin was splitting apart at the seams. She was a tappestry being unravelled. Cotton fibres pulling apart, ready to be littered across the floor like a crumpled mess.
"Baby, eyes on me, okay?"
Ember tried to keep her eyes focused on her dad when he leaned over her and his hands cupped her face. His thumbs brushed over her cheeks and he tilted her head back so she was looking at him but a guttural cry left her lips when Chimney leaned over her and tried to assess her chest. Even the slightest touch of his fingertips felt like he was burning her skin.
"Everyone in the truck."
(Y/n) didn't know if she held the willpower to get up or not but she did her best to clamber onto shaking legs. Her hands shook as they plastered to the side of the truck. She tried to keep herself hunkered down so she wasn't going to be a target. Her knees scraped against the metal steps and once she was inside the truck, (Y/n) flopped onto her knees and cowered down.
She watched Chimney hop up after her and keep as low as possible when another round of bullets pummeled into the side of the truck and sent them shaking back and forth.
A number of words were on the tip of Ember's tongue but she couldn't find anything to say when a bullet hit close and her body shuddered. She wasn't sure why it scared her when she had already been hit once, another bullet might send her unconscious and stop the pain or finish her off quickly.
She watched her dad hover over her, leaning closer as if to shield her from anymore bullets.
Ember wanted to smile, she wanted to feel relieved and bask in the safety she always felt when her dad went to pick her up. But all she could do was scream when he lifted her up.
It hurt so much. He hooked her right arm around the back of his neck and it caused her skin to tear and her blood to bubble and she felt all her blood soaking into her shirt as if she was showering in blood. The feeling of her chest pressing into Evan's shoulder made Ember cry out feebly and she went limp against his chest with her head flagging against his upper back.
He kept hold of her arm and his other hand gripped her thigh to keep her as still and steady as possible so he could move. He felt Eddie's hand on his lower back, his friend hovering close behind him as Evan spun and scrambled up the steps into the truck.
Spit dribbled past Ember's lips and onto Evan's shirt and tears dropped off the end of her nose and left a trail across the floor behind them. She wanted to clutch at him, to cling and hit and kick her legs to get her dad to somehow make the pain go away, but she couldn't move at all.
"D-dad…" The broken tone of her voice made Evan shiver and had tears pouring down his face.
"Sorry baby," He cried along with a grumble as he carefully lowered Ember down across the row of seats. He was glad to see (Y/n) curled up in the corner seat, trying to keep herself as small a target as possible. But when Evan lowered their girl down, (Y/n)'s arms instantly opened up.
She shuffled closer so Ember's head rested on her lap, just like she would when she was little and she felt sick or when she couldn't sleep. The thought sent (Y/n)'s mind reeling and tears soaked her face as her trembling hands smoothed up and down Ember's arms.
"Mum,"
"It's okay, honey. W-we're here, you're gonna be okay." Tears poured down (Y/n)'s face and she rolled her lips together to supress a broken cry.
She didn't want to breakdown yet. Not when Ember was trying to stare up at her through blurry eyes and floods of tears. Her daughter needed her to be strong and (Y/n) would do her best.
Eddie took a quick leap and bolted across towards the truck and climbed in the drivers seat. He slouched down low to avoid being shot and hurriedly turned the engine on so the truck rumbled to life. Relief overtook Chimney when he noticed the medic bag was still sat on the backseat, unused and ready for action.
Evan leaned forward on his heels with the soles of his boots pressed into the bottom of the seats, his large frame didn't cramp well in the footwell of the truck like this. His hand rested on the back of the seats to keep himself hovering over Ember while his other hand planted down on (Y/n)'s thigh, gripping as tight as possible until he was almost cutting her leg in two.
They left the truck door swinging open as Eddie took a sharp turn and jolted the truck to life, juttering down the street to get away from the scene.
"Let me see, sweetheart." Evan's voice dropped an octave and shuddered along with the truck when they turned another sharp corner.
He leaned against the seat and grimaced as he pulled at her shirt until the buttons split and came undone to let him see the wound. This was the last thing Evan wanted to be doing, but he had to stop the bleeding and check where the bullet had gone. He had no idea if it had hit her lung or not and if he was close enough to her lung, it could cause her chest to collapse.
The gunshot wound was two inches below her collar bone on the right side and it was pouring blood like a tap. Blood coated all her chest, trickled down her abdomen and started to pool beneath her on the seats. It was lathered all over Evan and he didn't like it. Not one bit.
A feeble cry left Ember's lips when Evan snatched the wad of gauze from Chimney and pressed it down against the wound so deeply it felt like he was trying to apply CPR to her chest. Her chest shuddered and pushed up from the seats and her nails scratched into the back of Evan's arm as she screamed. Spit bubbled past her lips and her blurring eyes locked on her dad.
He leaned over her and pressed a shaking, bloodied hand against the side of her face. His thumb smoothed over her cheek and his fingers fluttered against her jaw. Evan tried to smile but he couldn't manage it.
"Hurts, dad."
"I know baby, just focus on breathing for me, okay? We've got you," He swiped his sleeve beneath his nose and rubbed at his reddened eyes before his hand reached out to brace on the seat when Eddie took a sharp swerve to the right.
His other hand stayed pressed down on Ember's chest and he managed some sort of morphed smile when her trembling hand reached up to clamp down around his wrist. Her grip was weak but her touch was what they both needed. It showed Evan she was still conscious and focusing on him and it reassured her that both her parents were there and neither of them were going to leave her.
"I… I wh-" She couldn't seem to find the right words and Evan wasn't sure what she was trying to tell him.
Her eyes tried to open wider but they kept going round in circles, unable to focus on anything in particular.
"Eyes on me, baby. Hey Em, Ember look at me." Evan watched her eyes roll towards the back of her head but when he patted her cheek and nudged her head from left to right, she tried to focus again. Her fingers twitched against his wrist and she managed a feeble groan while (Y/n) tried to rub her hands up and down her daughter's arms to stimulate her. And she leaned down to kiss the top of Ember's head.
But (Y/n) looked up at her husband with fright written across her face when Ember started to cough. Evan sobbed. His wet lips parted and a groaning, bubbling cry left his lips when his girl coughed up blood that dribbled down her chin and spotted across her lips.
"We're here!" Eddie jumped down from the truck and slammed his hands against the side of the truck before he pulled the door wider and waved Chimney down.
"Let's get you to a doctor, just stay with us baby, please?"
"You're gonna be alright honey, it's all okay. Me and dad are here, okay?" (Y/n) kissed her temple and moved her hands to hold the sides of Ember's neck to keep her head steady while Evan crouched down beside them both.
He slid one arm beneath her knees and the other under her back, making sure not to touch the wound. He couldn't inflict anymore pain onto his daughter.
Once he was up on his feet, (Y/n) carefully nudged Ember's head against his shoulder so her neck didn't hurt or strain. Her hand stayed on Ember's arm while her other hand scrunched up into Evan's shirt and she climbed down out of the truck behind him. She glued herself up against her husband, trying to stay as close as possible.
They barely got onto the pavement before three doctors rushed to meet them with a stretcher aiming their way.
He felt (Y/n) lean round him to help set Ember down on the stretcher as carefully as they could and a doctor was quick to clip a beck brace around her throat.
"Keep breathing for me Em, y-you're doing so good." Evan snatched the oxygen mask from the doctor and placed it over her mouth and nose while his other hand held her wrist when Ember's fingers deadlocked in his shirt.
He could briefly see the boys running after them out the corner of his eye and he felt (Y/n) hurrying at his side, both of them trying to stay as close to their daughter as possible. It was hard to run at an odd angle with the stretcher, but neither of them cared. They had to go with her. They didn't think or consider where they were going or what was going to happen. Not until they reached the theatre ward and a nurse suddenly held onto (Y/n)'s upper arms and started to pull her back.
"No- no please." (Y/n) did her best to shrug the nurse off her so she could run her shaking fingers through Ember's hair. "Baby we'll stay r-right here, okay? You hold on for us."
When hands tried to pull Evan away from the stretcher, shivers coursed up and down his body and he couldn't find the ability to breathe.
"No! She's our daughter we have to go with her!"
"Mum… daddy,"
Sobs ransacked Evan's body and his body jolted back and forth like he was being electrocuted. He could feel his heart trying to errupt from his chest and follow their daughter when she was snatched from their sights. He wanted to go with her. He wanted to keep her within his line of sight so he could reassure himself she was still alive and fighting to stay with them. They couldn't take her from him.
She was fifteen. She was still a child. Children didn't get shot, they shouldn't get hurt like that.
Why didn't the sniper hit Evan? Why did they hit his little girl?
Evan twisted to the left and the moment he opened his quivering arms, (Y/n) burrowed herself into his chest. Her face smashed into his sternum, her nose crushed against his skin and she choked when she realised the strong iron smell was the blood soaked into his shirt and lathering his hands and face.
Her nails clawed up and down his back as the pair of them began to shake. She could feel Evan sobbing into her hair, not even bothering to hide his tears anymore and she knew he could feel her cries vibrating through his ribcage and into his heart.
"Cap?" Eddie clenched his hand around his hip and took a few steps back so he was out of earshot. But he could still see the couple stood ahead of him with Chimney at their side, ready to reach out for them if they needed him. "We have a situation,"
"What kind of situation?"
"There- we were finishing up a job a-and a sniper fired at us and civilians. We're at the hospital."
"Is anyone hurt?"
"Ember was there; she's been shot."
***
"I'm here for Ember Buckley. Where is she? She's my niece." Maddie planted both hands down on the reception desk and tried to take deep breaths, but she resorted to gasping when it didn't work.
She had never had such a panicked phone call from Chimney before. She could barely make out what he had been trying to say and when she realised she could hear her little brother and sister in law sobbing in the background, her world shattered.
This wasn't the kind of phone call Maddie was used to. The only call she could reference to this kind of panic was when Ember had been four. Evan had only been twenty-one at the time and he called Maddie when Ember started to have breathing trouble and she was going lathargic. They all spent five days in the hospital with her after finding out she had developed sepsis from an infection.
That was the only time Ember had needed hospitalisation and it was the only time any of them ever worried they might just lose her.
Maddie didn't need the receptionist to reply when she tilted her head to the left and locked eyes on her partner in the next corridor. Her hands left the counter and her knees started to shake as she stumbled down the corridor, her eyes now locked on her little brother.
He was sat on the floor.
Evan was sat leaning up against a wall, his thighs spread wide to let his wife sit between his legs. (Y/n)'s head was burrowed into his chest and her hands were deadlocked around his bicep as Evan had one arm bound around her waist and the other strapped across her chest. With his head tilted down, his lips meshed into her hair and his eyes closed, silently streaming tears down his face.
"Buck…"
Blood lathered his arms, dried beneath his fingernails and across the palms of his hands and droplets were splattered across his face. He had been in too much shock to even think about going to the toilet and cleaning himself up. All he could do was sit down and rock back and forth with his wife in his arms. Muttering Ember's name over and over like a mantra to stop himself from going mad.
"Buck, are you okay? What happened?"
Maddie dropped her bag near Chimney's feet before she scuffed down on her knees in front of the couple. Her hands shakily reached out for Evan but when she tried to touch his thigh, she seemed to send him into shock. His body shuddered back against the wall and his head snapped up to look at her.
"What happened?" Maddie looked up at Chimney who had his hands entwined together behind his head like he had done for the last hour. She could see she wasn't going to get much of an answer from her brother or (Y/n) right now.
"They were coming back from the doctors, and we were about to leave the scene when they came over. Shots got fired, we couldn't even see where they were coming from. We couldn't do anything," None of them had even seen anyone in a building or close by with a gun. They couldn't see anything until the bullets were shot into Ember and bounced off the truck. It was like they had been ambushed but they didn't even know why.
"Em got hit, the bullet tore clean through her chest below her shoulder. She went straight to surgery, they'll come get us when it's over." All Eddie wanted to do was lean down and wrap Evan up in a hug. He wanted to comfort and console his best friend and tell him that his daughter would be alright. His girl took after him, she was a fighter, she wouldn't be taken away from them this easily. But Evan wouldn't listen.
Tears trickled down the bridge of Maddie's nose as she pressed her hand over her mouth to swallow down any cries threatening to come out. She rested her free hand on (Y/n)'s knee and started rubbing up and down to give her some sort of comfort.
This wasn't right. Maddie's eldest niece. The little girl who lightened up her life and made her feel alive. The girl she had helped to raise, the girl who stayed with her every weekend who was more like a granddaughter than a niece. Not their Ember.
"Why don't we go get you cleaned up." Her hand left her mouth and moved to wipe away the tears.
It wouldn't do them any good to sit here caked in dried blood. Their daughter's blood. Maddie could help, she could get Evan cleaned up and try to get them both calmed down and a bit more cooperative. They needed to be calm and ready to talk to the doctor once Ember's surgery was over.
But Evan shook his head and let fresh tears trace through the blood staining his face. He didn't want to move, he wanted to stay here holding his wife until they were allowed to be with their daughter.
"It's her blood,"
"I know,"
"Why wasn't it me? S-she was right there, I should have- I should have protected her. I couldn't- my little girl." A flood of tears streamed down Evan's face as he started to gasp and sniff through each breath.
He tucked his face into (Y/n)'s hair and held her tighter until he couldn't feel his chest anymore and he felt (Y/n)'s nails scratch into his arm.
Evan had been stood right in front of Ember. If she had moved a few feet towards him, if they had only been in each other's place then it would have been Evan who took the bullet. If he had been in front of her, the bullet might have gone straight through him and still hit Ember or one of the team, but he would of taken the brunt force and most of the damage.
If only the sniper hit him, everything would have been okay. They had three kids together, (Y/n) and Evan, and he would take a bullet for each of them any day of the week. He would die for them. But Evan never thought about what would happen if he lost Ember or Marcus or Lily. He never thought he would see any of them get hurt, let alone get taken down by a sniper.
Of all the bad things in the world, Evan had never thought about any of his children getting hit by a bullet.
He couldn't even catch her when she fell.
How were they meant to sit here and wait? How could they sit and do nothing when their daughter was in peril? What if she didn't make it? What if she died and they weren't there with her?
What were they going to do if they lost her?
***
Evan's head jerked forward from where he had been leant back against the wall and his hand clenched around (Y/n)'s at the sound of their name.
His legs started to jitter up and down, the heels of his shoes clicking against the floor which caused (Y/n) to jutter against his lap.
She lifted her head from where she had been laid over Evan's lap and she untangled her hand from where it had gone dead interlinked with Evan's fingers for what felt like an eternity. (Y/n) rubbed her hands up and down her face to liven herself up a bit and her knees trembled when she stumbled up to her feet.
Both hands reached out and clung to Evan's arm as the pair of them hurried ahead to meet the doctor halfway.
She could see Maddie out the corner of her eye perk up in her seat and clutch Chimney's hand to her chest. And she knew Bobby was still clutching his rosary beads which he had been praying to for the last few hours since he arrived.
It had taken a while, but Maddie had eventually managed to get Evan to his feet and guide him to the toilets to clean him up.
She found that telling him Ember would not want to wake up seeing her dad covered head to toe in blood seemed to click something into place in Evan's mind. He agreed. He would only frighten Ember if he walked into her room with blood splattered across his face and up to his shoulders.
He couldn't do much about his white shirt that was now crisp with dried blood. It would need to go in the bin when they went home, but he couldn't go home yet. He couldn't change or shower or think about stepping one foot out this hospital until he had seen his daughter. His baby girl.
Since then, Bobby had been silently praying, Eddie had been pacing the hall enough to complete two marathons. Hen had come down and was sat with Chimney and Maddie to try and calm them both down and give moral support. For the last hour, they had all been in silence in their own methods of praying, panicking and worrying.
But now the doctor was here, and Evan didn't know if he wanted to hear the outcome or not.
(Y/n) didn't want to know if this was going to be bad news. Her heart wouldn't be able to take it. She had barely managed to thank Hen who had asked Karen to pick Marcus and Lily up from school and watch them until they knew what was going on with Ember.
How could (Y/n) go home to her other two kids if they got bad news? How could she face them and tell them what had happened? How could she carry on if this was going to be the worst day of their lives?
(Y/n) could still remember everything from her pregnancy with Ember. She remembered seeing the light sparkle in Evan's eyes when she told him. She remembered how happy Maddie had been and that Maddie had been with them at the hospital when she gave birth. (Y/n) remembered all the scans and Ember's first steps, her first words, her tantrums and her cheeky grin and when she would sing with them in the car on a long journey.
All of that couldn't stop now. This couldn't be the end. This morning (Y/n) had been worried about Ember getting bloods taken at the GP, and this afternoon she was worried about her daughter surviving surgery. This wasn't where she thought she would be when she woke up this morning.
"Is- is she okay? Please tell me she's okay." Evan latched his right hand around (Y/n)'s hip since she was clinging to his arm, almost pulling him down with her. And his left hand started to scratch along the back of his neck creating deep indents that were drawing blood beneath his nails.
Tears were already freely streaming down his face again despite not knowing any news yet. His heart was threatening to give out. If she was okay, his heart was going to slip into cardiac arrest with relief and love. If she wasn't, Evan's heart would die of heartbreak.
"A vein burst during the repair and she haemorrhaged a lot, but we managed to stop the bleed. The bullet missed her lung and didn't catch any ribs, it was a clean shot. No nerve or bone damage and surgery went well, we've put her in the ICU for recovery."
Evan could feel his knees threatening to give way and he choked on his breath as his nails punctured into his neck. He felt (Y/n) gasping into his arm and she couldn't help but lean her weight into him like relief had swamped her and knocked her off her feet.
Tears started to flush (Y/n)'s face again even though she felt like she had cried enough to flood the ocean by now. But the relief came with such an adrenaline burst that (Y/n) was sure this is what it felt like to have a heart attack.
"C-can we see her now?"
"Of course."
Evan glanced over his shoulder but he could see by the tears of relief streaming down Maddie's face that she had caught wind of the conversation. She knew Ember was going to be okay. He didn't have to go over to them and explain. They could go straight in to see her and then the rest of the team could see how she was.
And Evan was going to have to thank them all for staying here at the hospital with them and waiting for news. They didn't have to stay and all of them didn't have to come down here, but they had. They had stuck with him and (Y/n) because they were all one big family, and they all cared about Ember.
(Y/n) could feel more tears streaming down her face before they were even in the room.
But once the door opened, a shiver crawled down her spine towards her toes and she pressed herself into Evan's side, unsure how to take a proper breath.
There was their daughter. Hair askew around her head, an IV taped into the back of her hand, wires stuck to her chest. An oxygen tube taped beneath her nose which they both knew she wasn't going to keep there for very long. Her right arm was in a sling pinned to her chest, presumably because the bullet had been close to her shoulder and they didn't want her moving the joint yet and causing any damage or distress.
Her eyes looked drowsy and out of focus when both parents hurried over to the bed to be as close as possible.
(Y/n) perched down on the edge of the bed beside Ember's hip and immediately reached down for her left hand that was twitching against the covers like she was reaching for something. She brought Ember's hand up to her lips and gently peppered kisses over her knuckles.
"Hey baby," She grinned through tears when she felt Ember's hand give hers a light squeeze and her fingers began to tap against the back of her hand.
"Mum…" Ember's eyes rolled around the room like they were following a beam of light and she huffed through each breath, trying to wake herself up a little more. She wanted to sit forward but she couldn't. Moving in any direction felt too tiresome and used too much energy when she didn't have any left to begin with.
Her other arm jerked but the motion caused her to wince and groan when she realised her arm was bound to her chest. She let her eyes do another sweep around the room that was slowly fading from blended colours into proper shapes and forms. And her lips curled into a docile smile when she realised who was hovering over her.
"Dad,"
She let her eyes fall closed and settled into their warmth and love when she felt her dad's hand cup the side of her neck and his lips pressed a few wet kisses to her warm temple.
"We're here, sweetheart. Don't worry, we're not going anywhere, and neither are you."
#evan buckley#911 imagine#imagine#evan buckley x reader#evan buckley imagine#buck x reader#buck imagine#maddie buckley han#eddie diaz
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I DARE YOU .ᐟ
BABYSITTER‘S PUNISHMENT : TOJI FUSHIGURO
when you tryna steal from toji to only end up getting fucked by him.
CONTENT WARNING : smut! toji, rough sex, spanking.
P.S this is from toji's pov
ever since my marriage fell apart, and my bitch of an ex-wife (pretend it's not megumi's mom) left me for some hunky personal trainer, I’ve been a little short-tempered. you see, we had built a home together and raised a beautiful son, megumi, who I love more than anything else in the world. we had a gorgeous house in the suburbs, complete with a swimming pool and a large garden with a playground for megumi to entertain himself. I couldn’t have asked for a better home to start a family. so when the aforementioned whore decided to destroy our family, my spirits were crushed and I started to lash out on everyone around me. my secretary at the office was the first to feel my wrath, as I blamed her for every little thing that went wrong, whether it was her fault or not. she was forgiving, though, and ignored my raging temper.
then, I started to shout at people while I was driving, frequently cursing other motorists and swerving erratically so I could make obscene hand gestures at them. I never lashed out at my daughter, I should add. no, she was the one thing that gave me joy in those dark times. a few months after the divorce proceedings, my wife’s ridiculous relationship with her new boyfriend imploded on itself and she came crawling back. I was having none of it and made sure she stayed away.
of course, with the bitch out of the picture I needed some help to look after Megumi whenever I worked late or had to attend meetings at weekends. Luckily, I managed to find a perfect babysitter whose situation suited all of my needs. She was free to work practically every evening and was able to pick up Megumi from school, take him home, feed him, and put him to bed before I even got back. It was an ideal arrangement, not just because of her seemingly constant availability, but because she was absolutely smoking hot. When I interviewed her for the position, I had to keep pulling my eyes away from her chest. Her juicy, round breasts were pressed up against the fabric of her shirt, and I’m pretty sure she wasn’t wearing a bra as I could see two prominent bumps at nipple height.
Her name was Y/n, and her cute smile and flowing hair instantly made the blood rush to my cock. I hired her on the spot, and ever since that day I reveled in the sight of her perky ass whenever I returned home. I could hardly believe my luck— she was stunning, she also got on very well with Megumi and seemed to be totally professional in her duties. However, my opinion of her changed somewhat when I discovered a truth about her that sent me into a rage.
It all happened one day when I was supposed to be working late. I had arranged for her to pick up Megumi as usual and I was set to return home around 10 P.M that night. y/n was totally obliging and supportive, and so the evening seemed to be set. As it turned out I finished work an hour earlier than I’d expected as the person I was supposed to be having a video conference call with didn’t show up. So, I headed home in a somewhat disgruntled and annoyed state. I pulled up at the front of the house, got out of the car, and walked up to the door.
My bedroom light seemed to be turned on, which was strange as I always made sure to turn lights off whenever I left a room— my OCD-like behavior was one of the things my ex-wife hated the most about me. I thought nothing of it and continued up the garden path to the front door. As I walked inside I looked into the living room and then the kitchen. There was no sign of y/n or Megumi, so I assumed that she was busy putting my son to bed. I walked around on my tip-toes for a while, removing my jacket while I got a drink of water from the tap.
Finally, I decided to go up and get changed, so I snuck up the stairs. Megumi’s bedroom door was slightly ajar, but his light was turned off. I thought maybe the lamp should have been on if y/n was in there. I looked at my bedroom door and again saw the light was turned on. I made my way to the door and pushed it open gently as the suspicion flooded my mind.
I peered inside and saw y/n’s ass wiggling around at me as she bent underneath the bed. She was rooting around for something, and when I saw her bag next to her with a small candle-stick holder poking out, I realized she was stealing things from my room. I was horrified that I had let such a criminal into my house and left her alone with my precious son. However, the sight of her ass moving around turned my anger into something else. Within a matter of seconds, I could feel my cock getting harder.
She hadn’t noticed I was back yet, as her head was well and truly under the bed as she searched for items to plunder. I watched for a few seconds as the rage built inside me, and then stepped inside, closing the door shut as quietly as I could. I crouched behind her and watched for a moment, contemplating the best course of action. The blood was rushing out of my brain to my cock, though, so there was only really one thing on my mind. I knew exactly how to punish her.
”What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I said in a stern voice. She froze and then shuddered as she realised she had been caught. It must have been a massive shock to her system, as she didn’t say a word for what seemed like an eternity. I repeated myself, and then grabbed her feet and dragged her out from under the bed. She tried to claw the carpet to stop me but I was far too strong. As her head appeared from under the bed, she looked up at me with pleading eyes, no doubt presuming she could buy her way out of the situation with a suggestive wink and a squeeze of her breasts. Such leniency was most definitely not on the table, though. I grabbed her arms and pulled her up to her feet, and then turned her around and forced her up against the bed.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!“ she kept repeating, but I wasn’t listening.
“You think you can steal from me?” I scowled, pushing her back down on to the bed as she tried to stand up again. Her ass stuck out as she bent over the side of the bed and I continued “I’ll teach you not to steal from me!”
“What are you going to do with me?” she pleaded, but as she looked back she already knew what I had in mind for her. I kept her chest firmly pressed down on the duvet and raised my hand up above her ass, striking it down with a loud crash. She yelped in horror as I spanked her ass, but I kept going, slapping each cheek over and over again. She tried to push herself up, but I just pushed her back down. She kept resisting, so I grabbed her wrists and yanked them behind her back, holding them in place with one hand while I continued to spank the naughty bitch. She winced and groaned with every hit that thrashed across her ass, but I didn’t feel like she had nearly learned her lesson.
“Are you sorry?” I growled, finding myself getting more and more turned on by her whimpering. Her screams to be let go almost sounded sexual in nature, as if the spanking was turning her on more than it was hurting her.
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” she cried, repeating it after every strike that landed over her ass. My cock was rock hard and almost bulging from my trousers. Then I had a much better thought of how to punish her more effectively. I pulled her back up and stood her at the side of the bed, letting go of her arms as I wrapped mine around her chest, constraining her movement completely. She wiggled her body to loosen herself from my grasp, but my arms were far too strong. I ran my hands over her stomach, feeling the material of her vest top as I moved higher and higher towards her breasts.
Once again she wasn’t wearing a bra, and her nipples were poking out firmly through her top. I groped at them and squeezed the warm, fleshy lumps in my fingers as she squirmed around in my arms. No doubt she could feel my massive, hard cock rubbing against her ass cheeks as I held her breathlessly close. I could smell the shampoo she had used to wash her hair that day, as the warmth of her body rose up from the top of her head. I was so turned on, I started to pinch her pert nipples and slap the sides of her tits. She cried out loudly, so I placed the palm of my hand over her mouth to silence her, and then moved it down to her neck and squeezed firmly and menacingly at her windpipe.
“Ssshhh!” I whispered as I continued to fondle her tits, digging my fingers into her skin as I enjoyed the feel of her supple mounds. She could feel my breath on her neck as I leaned in and stared down her cleavage, watching her delicious breasts wobbling around in my fingers. They truly felt fantastic, and I would have happily stayed there for hours playing with them, had it not been for her constant struggling.
“I’m not done with you yet!” I said as she tried to bolt for the door. I pulled her back, grasping at her waist as I pushed her back down on to the bed. She squealed for mercy as I climbed on top of her back, and then started to peel her top up over her head. I pulled her arms up and held them above her head while I pulled the vest up and discarded it on the floor. She lay on the bed with her arms wrapped under her chest, preserving her modesty. I wanted to see those juicy tits, though, so I rolled her on to her back and pulled her arms open to expose them.
They were even more beautiful in the flesh than I had imagined – perfectly round and just enough to fit in my hands. I held her down and started to fondle them some more, rolling my thumbs around her nipples and pinching them sharply as I pulled them away from her body. Then I began to slap them from side to side, and as I watched them repeatedly jiggling back into position, my cock became almost painfully hard. She spat in my face, with a small blob of saliva landing on the side of my cheek. I wiped it away carefully and stared gruffly in to her eyes, and then slapped her across the face.
She recoiled in horror, turning her head away for a moment before looking back at me. A tear formed in her eye, but she was clearly excited on a sexual level. She was fighting the urge to shoot me a wry, dirty smile. I slapped her again, firmer and faster that time and across the other cheek. I slapped her a few more times, making her cheeks red from the impact of my hands. Saliva spilled out over her face, and I let go of her body for a moment while I undid my tie.
She watched me remove it, trembling on the bed and glancing at the door to plan her escape route. She wasn’t going anywhere, though, and I rolled her on to her back again and forced her wrists together. I wrapped the tie around them, binding her arms securely so I could have some fun. I slowly removed my shirt as I watched her ass shuffling off the edge of the bed, and pressed my foot on to it to keep her from moving any further.
Her ears pricked up when she heard the jangle of my belt buckle as I unfastened it, removing my trousers and boxer shorts to free the enormous, throbbing cock within. With all of my clothes nestled in a small heap on the carpet, I crouched behind her and started to feel her ass through her tight jeans, smelling the crack and running my fingers in between her legs as she moaned lightly.
I couldn’t wait to see her bare ass, so I reached underneath her waist and unzipped the denim flaps, before yanking the jeans down her legs to reveal her sexy little thong. I pulled the jeans away, turning them inside out as they gripped to her legs. She remained huddled over the bed, and I leaned in and felt the warm skin as I pressed my lips up to her ass cheeks.
I gripped the sides of her thong and peeled it down her legs, allowing it to rest around her knees while I moved back up to play with her ass some more. She was still making the occasional move to get away, and each time she bolted I lashed a fresh smack over her now bare ass cheeks. Red hand marks started to form on the soft, delicate skin as I peeled them apart; exposing her tight little anus and her dripping wet labia below.
There was no doubt in my mind that she was gagging for it. I buried my face between her legs and began to lick passionately around her pussy, lapping up her juices as she groaned with pleasure. I continued to spank her, and every time I cracked my hands over her ass, she let out a fresh painful shriek. As I ate her out, I moved my hand up and started to massage her clitoris with my fingers, rubbing her flowing juices all over it as I flicked my tongue over her pulsating vulva.
I moved up and began to lick at her ass hole, prodding my tense tongue around the incredibly soft puckering rim. I lapped up and down her crack, pulling her cheeks as far apart as they would stretch and causing her anus to open up slightly. I spanked her again, even harder and she whimpered pathetically. Then I had a fantastic idea.
I untangled my belt from the waist of my trousers and looped it around. She looked back and gulped, bracing herself for what she knew was to come. I pressed her firmly down on to the bed, pushing her arms even tighter against her back, and then I thrashed her ass with the belt. A thunderous crack sounded out and echoed off the walls as she squealed in agony. I didn’t wait for the pain to subside, and immediately lashed her again and again. Her ass was red raw and started to turn purple as faint blotches of bruising appeared. I moved down and smacked it over the backs of her thighs, each impact sending a fresh set of ripples rolling over her flesh.
“Are you sorry? I don’t believe you!” I kept stating, not letting her answer. She could barely speak through her agonised groans, but her pussy was wetter than ever. I dropped the belt on the floor and positioned myself behind her ass. As the pain subsided, she started to sigh with relief. I pushed the head of my cock up to her pussy lips, rolling it up and down between them before plunging my rigid girth deep inside her.
She gasped and strained her neck out in front of her as she let out a loud, ecstatic moan. I started to thrust it in and out of her pussy, slowly at first as I coated it in her pussy juices, and then faster and harder as I became better lubricated. Her labia stretched around it nicely, contorting sideways as my penis passed through them. As I fucked her I continued to spank her ass, causing her to yelp in between her breathless panting. The sight of her arms bound behind her back had transformed me in to a wanton sex beast, and I didn’t care about anything other than fucking her as hard as I could. Every single other thought and consideration in my life was second to brutalising her and obliterating her pussy right there and then.
I pounded her as hard as I could, still bending her over the side of the bed. Her head rocked back and forth on the duvet helplessly under the force of my powerful thrusts, and she had given up trying to get away. She had become completely obedient and was accepting her punishment gracefully. I quickly tired of fucking her from behind though, and I desperately wanted to play with those glorious tits some more, so I flipped her over on to her back again.
She grimaced as her weight shifted, trapping her arms underneath her body. There wasn’t time to untie her, though. She would just have to get used it. I grabbed her throat and squeezed, choking her for a moment as I kissed her lips, stroking her tongue with mine and smelling her sweet candy breath. My cock was throbbing like crazy, so I pushed it back inside her pussy once again and instantly began to fuck her vigorously as she bounced up and down on the spring mattress.
The springs in the bed were creaking like crazy under the weight of our bodies. I grabbed her legs and placed them flat against my chest with her ankles behind my ears, and watched my cock sliding deep inside her over and over again while her amazing sweet tits bounced around atop her chest. I pressed her legs forward and reached down to slap her breasts again, and she screwed up her face with every strike that landed across her soft skin.
The sound of my skin slapping against hers was almost as loud as the spanking I had given her earlier. We were both sweating and writhing together as I pushed her further onto the bed with each thrust. My cock was buried entirely within her pussy, penetrating her all the way down to my balls as she groaned in uncontrollable pleasure. I doubt she had ever received such a strenuous fucking, but she was loving every second of it.
I spread her legs wide open and leaned down to kiss her neck passionately, smelling the hair under her ears as my moist lips pressed up to her skin. The sound of her panting in to my ear just turned me on even more, and after a minute or so I could hear the unmistakeable noise of an impending orgasm. She wheezed and cried out in ecstasy as her hips began to tremble, and then all of a sudden the extreme pleasure took hold of her and her eyes rolled into the back of her skull.
I continued to pound her even harder, relentlessly fucking her wet pussy as she squirmed with gratification on the bed. It was only when she came down from her breathless climax that I remembered I was supposed to be punishing her.
She went limp on the duvet and tried to catch her breath while I pressed her thighs up to her chest, exposing her insanely tight little ass hole. I didn’t want to have to keep struggling with her, so I took the belt and quickly wrapped around her legs, fastening it just under her knees and binding them up to her chest. She hadn’t even noticed what I was doing as she was still coping with the aftershocks of her intense climax.
I crouched in front of her ass again and pushed her cheeks slightly further open— they were already well parted by the position of her legs. Her vaginal muscles were still contracting and causing her labia to pucker up as I leaned in. I stretched out my tongue and licked over her anus once again, tasting the pussy juices as they flowed from her vulva and down through her ass crack.
Her cheeks were still red raw and burning with pain, but I continued to lightly spank them as I licked around her ass hole, prodding my tongue against her rim for a little while. I ran my finger around her pussy lips, lubricating it in her juices before pushing it through her sphincter. She tensed up as she finally realised what I was doing, and started to grimace and moan anxiously. I slid my finger inside her ass hole and pulled it out repeatedly, watching as her hole enclosed around it.
I stood up between her legs and rubbed the head of my cock around her quivering, wet vulva for a moment, coating it in a mixture of spit and her juices as I had done with my finger. I pushed my dick up to her ass hole and started to nudge it gently through the small opening. Her rim stretched around my cock as I pushed it through, expanding the soft ripples of her anus to a smooth, gaping hole.
The juices and saliva squelched out around the sides of my cock under the intense pressure of her tight anus as I started to thrust it in to her rectum, tunnelling my way deeper and deeper inside. With each insertion I was able to gain an extra quarter of an inch and after a minute or so of gruelling ass fucking I was burying my cock balls-deep in her colon. “Ah fuck, yes Toji— shit shit, ahh! fuck me like I'm a slut!” She started to scream loudly with each thrust that I slammed in to her ass, so I slapped her face again, sending a trail of saliva across the bed. She continued to groan noisily despite my defiant slapping, giving me no option but to silence her.
I reached down to the floor and picked up her thong, rolling it in to a tight ball as I jammed it between her jaws. She tried to clamp them together, but I squeezed firmly at her cheeks to pry them open and wedged the screwed up knickers between her teeth, holding my hand over her mouth and pressing her head back down to the bed as I continued to destroy her ass hole. I heard her trying to squeal in pain as my cock slid in and out of her anus, but the sound was nicely muffled by my makeshift gag.
I knew the ultra-tight young ass hole was going to make me cum soon, so I fucked her even harder and a few moments later I felt a great swell inside my balls. I moaned and stretched my neck, and she could see the veins protruding from the skin on my neck as I started to pump my hot, milky semen deep in to her ass hole. The orgasm seemed to last for hours and the cum shot out of my cock endlessly, oozing out between the sides of my shaft and the walls of her rectum.
I removed my penis from her ass and watched the thick, white fluid seeping out of her asshole. It was too hot of a moment not to get at least a souvenir, so I picked up my phone and took a few pictures of her hot, naked body and her obliterated pussy and ass hole.
“So, have you learned your lesson?” I asked, leaning over her exhausted body as I unstrapped the belt and freed her arms from behind her back. Her skin was marked with red lines from the various spankings and the force of being tied up so tightly. She laughed and said “I’ll have to steal from you again as I enjoyed the punishment,” she smiled sweetly.
“Good. So, same time tomorrow?” I said, helping her to stand up from the bed. Her legs were like jelly and barely supported her weight as she rose to her feet.
“Yes sir.” she said in a subdued but slightly naughty fashion. She tried to hide her smile as she reached for her clothes, but I caught it regardless. I was worried that I had lost a great babysitter, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth. Not only did I retain her as a babysitter, I gained her as a slave and that first encounter was just the tip of the iceberg.
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soul ties. part I (e.w.)
SYNOPSIS: a product of brokenness. WORD COUNT: 13.4K WARNINGS: ellie’s a painter/art dealer, heavy angst[oc is suicidal and has dissociative episodes + abusive parents/SEXUAL ABUSE(nothing explicitly written but aluded to) + patriarchy/men being predatory/traditionalist households + mentions of cheating + alcoholism + disordered eating/self-harm(cuticle picking) + thoughts of murder + mommy issues/daddy issues + parental grief + homophobia + more patriarchy but with dykes + unhealthy relationships with sex(coping) + brief mention of masturbation + sexual tension + making out + fondling + slapping + DUBCON + just matching freaks to avoid trauma], miscommunication, just 2 socially inept crash outs lol A/N: hellloo lol. fixed plot bc im venting… s been a very rough few months. i was convinced i lost my very acute skill so uhhh consider this a test. uhh what else… idk when i’ll be back bc im now a piano player #NEWFOUNDESCAPISM LOL. suggestion: this technically could b read alone but if u care ab context read this first. then this. that is all LOL byeee :p hi taggies we back: @dyk3ang3l @acidblum @mellifluousgirll @elliesatchel @callmewhenyoukan @natgf123 @elliesstella @spaceforescape @floridaopal @lonelyfooryouonly @ellies-converse @amiorca @darkerstarsstuff
fuck the bitch that made this game. dont buy his shit.
aid links from my inbox: one, two, three, four
What to do, what to do…
Ellie is a wreck. An agitated, craving, mess.
What to do… Love your wife, fuck the daylights out of your wife, kill your wife before she kills you… What to do…
It can’t be that hard to hide a body. Is it still murder if it’s self-defense? Ellie’s sure the next bath you run for her will either be filled with bleach or result in her being forced underwater until she’s lifeless. There are lots of people willing to get their hands dirty for her if that’s the case. Not a trace of you or her would be left and she’d finally be able to escape with only the clothes on her back. The weightlessness in her pockets wouldn’t move her in any way. Nothing compares to freedom. What a suffocating life she lives.
The guest room mattress becomes less and less plush every time she lays in it. The sheets are itchier and cold and she’s stuck pondering with each swirl of the ceiling fan, wet hair wrapped in a bath towel; restless, fidgety, and honey-like ache in the pit of her stomach, mind warped with lecherous thoughts of her wife that she despises but not as much, her supposed life partner and fuck, how did you two get here…
Stuck with a tension so thick it permeates your home; if you’d even call it that. You’re both successfully trapped between your own walls; Elegant windows take the place of rusted, metal bars that confine you from the life you both dreamed of before all this; one soft and doting and colorful, one where your light isn’t dulled.
Why does she feel so guilty, suddenly? You’re not lovers, and neither in love, so why does her chest ache with every glance she steals when you’re unassuming? The pain that’s always etched on your face, and if not, in your eyes — fills her with regret. She would abandon you for days — weeks at a time, not at all concerned about what you might be experiencing to rid herself of shame. And to think that you were merely a younger version of your mother; villainous and cruel and greedy when… when you’ve barely spoken. She finds herself, unfortunately, reminiscing on how bushy-tailed you were after marriage. So eager to please and prick her mind and annoyingly mechanical. You cooked at the same time everyday. Cleaned, did both your laundry, sunbathed, swam in your pool. She hated how rehearsed your lifestyle was; it reminds her of the worst parts of her childhood. When her mother was alive. So, Ellie chose to step out on you the second you took her last name; ravaged other women, released her anger and desires on strangers when she should’ve had you beneath, above, on your knees for her. Where has that craving to harm you gone? For months, she’s ached for your suffering to mirror hers, but now… What’s happening to her? What’s happened to you?
Ellie believes you’ve lost it, and somehow she’s found herself chasing that unforeseen part of you; unfiltered and angry and wild. This manufactured doll your mother molded you into is shattering at the core and Ellie craves to see more of you. Guilty. As hurt as you were, that night was the most alive she’s seen you be. You shouted and cried and tore at the seams, desperate for someone to hear you, and Ellie did. Loud and clear. She saw you for what you are. Mangled from the inside out, entirely hopeless. Just like she is. An unspeakable link that binds the two of you.
Soul ties.
She shook and pleaded for you to enter the bathroom and see her battered against the shower wall with a hand between her legs and your name dripping from her lips, but the knob never twisted. Her orgasms were unsatisfactory, and she accepted with irritation that it was because you weren’t there. She ignored the throbbing between her legs and vacated the bathroom. Ellie, with legs that trembled, found you wrapped in satin and snoring. They sounded like whistles.
She stood for a while, just watching you twitch and wiggle in your rest, eyes glazing to the space beside you that could easily fit another body. The sheets are already warm from where you lay. The two of you have never slept in the same room, let alone bed.
Her feet carried her out. Silently left the room with an unfamiliar ache in her chest.
Her mind made an enemy out of you because that’s what you are. When she thought her life couldn’t get any worse, you appeared and destroyed everything in her path. Left her world in ruins. Disrupted her pattern. You’re an enemy and deserve to hurt.
Aren’t you? Don’t you?
Everything is unclear. Ellie hasn’t been this conflicted since she was 15. She wishes she could sleep forever so she wouldn’t be forced to think.
If she had any sense left, she would paint her agony away. In the past, her mind would shut down with every splash of color on a canvas to compensate for the darkness that conjured in her mind. She refrains from that now, though. She’s horny; scared she’ll start imagining what your pussy looks like and sketch it all over the bedroom walls. That’d be too much; a boundary that will remain untouched.
But her brain knows she’s not a good person; she can’t help but imagine how gorgeous your pussy is because you are and she’s known that since the beginning, the second she saw you drenched in white. Drenched in sorrow.
She clutches your wedding band in her palm.
What to do… what to do…
Birds are artists.
They never fail to sing every morning; sonnets aimed to awaken life as sun rays spill from behind mountains. You've always appreciated their tunes whenever you were pulled from a hollow rest, no longer surrounded by darkness.
Maybe it was the routine your mother set for you from young. You were 9 when she first coddled your drowsiness as she shook you awake at five in the morning; the early bird catches the worm, a saying you naively assumed as preparation for the day, for your homeschooling. An energy booster, possibly. Motivation. Something to get you through.
How stupid could a child be?
You were 12 when your cycle started. You were 12 when you realized that your mother never envisioned actual birds and worms like you had. Your mother has games she plays and she cheats. She’s had you on a leash for the past decade; the scars around your neck are forever a reminder of the hell you’ve endured under her hand. It took no effort on her part to be uncaring of your suffering, and somehow that aches more than anything else.
Even more than the existence of him. A demon walking.
Animals aren’t like your family. Birds aren’t. The minute specks of sunlight begin, their job starts, and they complete it happily without compensation or praise or the slightest acknowledgment. Everyone wakes, and they fly to anywhere to wake the next.
But wealth is dirty. Wealth makes people dirty. They swindler and lie and experience life with a vacancy that’ll never be filled with anything but greed. Your mother trained you for years to accept whatever was given as long as you were taken care of. Play your part, she’d say. It took you years to learn her strategy — and unlearn yourself — but you’re here. Married. Successful by association. Rich. Unhappy. Unloved.
Birds guided you. They never shy from their duty, and you hadn’t either…
But you’re human. You crack and cry and scream and you hate. You despise so strongly that you lash out and everything in your path becomes victimized. Sometimes it gets to a point where you crave blood. You want to drown in it, drink it until you’re sick. Your soul is dead. Everyones’ should die with yours.
You don’t know who should go first. Your mother, your stepfather, or your wife.
You want to swallow Ellie whole—
“Good morning.”
You’ve never seen Ellie not dolled up. She clearly just awakened with her wrinkled MILFS ONLY shirt and sporadic hair. Timidity doesn’t suit Ellie. You're so used to seeing her exasperated. Her weary eyes don’t meet yours. You should tell her your plans to adopt a hummingbird. Or maybe you shouldn’t. She might laugh at you.
“Hello.”
“… Hi.” She seems like she wants to say something. You sip your coffee.
“My dad called.”
You hum around the rim of your mug. “Woke you up?”
She merely shrugs. “I uh… did anyone tell you about tomorrow?”
“Of course not.”
You don’t expect Ellie to flinch at your tone. You weren’t that sharp, were you?
You might’ve been because she slows her speech. Like she’s approaching a wounded animal, “Dad’s hosting a dinner. Corporate bullshit but we have to go.”
“Why.”
She squints at you. “Why what.”
“Why do we have to go.” Your mug lands on the table harder than expected.
“To make mommy and daddy look good.” She sneers while approaching her seat, “Did you forget?”
“I just thought they wouldn’t want two dykes contaminating their spaces anymore.”
Ellie snorts. “They don’t. Companies do. Gets their cocks hard. Two gay daughters, how progressive!” She mocks and plops on the chair directly across from you, wiping at her eyes. Your throat dries when you notice her wedding band. She hardly ever wears it. You don’t know where you left yours. Since when does she care to wear it? “They’ll do anything they can to get on their good side. They’re… merging organizations or whatever the fuck he said.”
She swallows. Shrugs uncaringly, “We going?” Her eyes watch your hands squeeze your mug.
“Are we.”
She regards your cup with caution. Does she think you’ll throw it? The thought nearly makes you laugh.
“Yes.” She answers.
“Okay.”
Your wife finally looks up and stands, nose upturned, “Okay? That’s all you got?”
“Yes. Okay.” You sip silently. Your foot taps on hardwood.
“Excited to see your family? You like ‘em now?”
Excited is laughable.
“No, I don’t.”
The sudden calamity from your wife confuses you. She tugs at the strands that flop on her head in agitation. They look soft as they bounce with her pacing. You’ll never feel them. Or you might later. Who knows with her. Who knows with you.
Ellie’s still talking. Her arms flail like she’s annoyed by you. You’re not sure why. You’re following. You’re allowing her to guide. To control. That’s the entire point of this. That’s why you’re going to dinner with her. She told you to go and that’s it.
Play your part play your part play yo—
You don’t remember much of anything; the past, the present, but you recall what Ellie sounds like when she’s angry, whether it’s at you, her father, the woman her father is fucking or married to or whatever. If you’d listen, you’ll discover what ticked her off, but your ears ring too loud. Much louder than her screaming.
You sip your coffee silently. Ellie leaves you at the dining table with a slam of a door.
You think it’s the first floor’s guest room.
The sun sets. Ellie can’t remember the last time she’s been home this long.
She hates the weekends. The gallery is never open and she can’t drown herself in deals. She hates being home when you are. Why the fuck are you always here? You don’t have friends, a job, a life outside of this goddamn house? There’s a sinking in her stomach at the thought of your isolation, but she ignores it. Tries to ignore it.
… Can’t really ignore it. How pestering. You’re a pest.
She knows nothing about you, only bits of your past expressed through photographs at your mother’s or outbursts in your bedroom. Your stepfather is fucking creepy and your mother’s glare is killer, but that’s about it. Still, she doesn’t think she can hate your parents more than you.
You’re so fucking weird. Just like them. Unforgiving and unchaste one day then apathetic the next. How the fuck can one communicate with a person like that?
That feeling in her chest again. Sharp and annoying. Try try try, it says. Begs from her.
Try and do what? Do fucking what—
It took Ellie 3 seconds to unlock the guest room door and fly down the stairs when a crash rings from the first floor. Glass clatters and you sound in pain and oh fuck did someone break in
There’s red all over the kitchen floor but it’s not blood it’s red wine. Red wine red wine it’s not blood—
You’re on the kitchen floor surrounded by green shards and dressed so pretty. Hair coiled and free and your face is done up and you’re wearing flowers. There’s flowers all over and your skin shines and why do you have heels on like a play doll?
Ellie palms at the scattered racing of her heart. Everything’s fine, her brain blares, She tripped, that’s it. Clears her throat. Rustles her hair to appear normal.
She’s not dead.
“… You good?”
An unsteady hand rises to throw her a thumbs up. Your body wobbles when you attempt to stand. Ellie ushers to the counter to slide on her slippers, tells you to stop when your palm nearly plants on a shard.
“Move back before you hurt yourself.” Ellie takes a quick lap around the kitchen for the broom and dustpan. Finds you just as quickly so you don’t accidentally slice an artery.
Your lashes flutter and her heart follows suit, taking in the mess. “I think I fucked up.” You croak.
Hearing you curse is always odd. She huffs, “It’s fine. Can you stand?”
Your head shakes and your bottom lip juts. “My… my shoes…”
You slowly plop onto your bottom and rest your back against the dishwasher. You struggle to grip your buckles to pull and slide the strap and Ellie remembers why she hates heels. She sweeps the glass away from you and realizes she should’ve mopped first because the bristles are soaked and streaking the clean parts of the crystal porcelain. When was the last time she cleaned? The maids always do. Sometimes you help.
You look stunned when Ellie moves to squat in front of you. Jumps back when she adjusts your ankle.
Her palms hang in surrender, “I’m gonna help you. Relax. Do your knees hurt?”
You landed right on them. They should. You don’t disarm, eyes guarded and body locked tight, but you shrug. It’s good enough for Ellie.
She unravels the buckles around both your ankles and tosses them next to you and you just watch. Ellie’s glances are quick and flitting, but she follows the traces of her hands; the sharp inhales whenever her fingers brush against the skin of your leg. You’re not as close as you were last night but she can smell you. Her chest is throbbing. You look like you’re about to cry but you’re drunk. It’s meaningless. Drunk people cry.
Try try try try
“Can you stand now?” She croaks.
It takes a second for you to register her inquiry, but you shrug, and she sighs. When Ellie stands, both her hands extend out to you, but you don’t accept them; She gets jittery under your scrutinizing gaze after nearly a minute passes. Her throat dries and her face burns when you brush her hands away; standing on your own is an unstable journey, but you do, back against the counter to stabilize yourself. You look ill. Your brain must be jumbled.
“Can you get upstairs on your own?”
“You talk a fucking lot. Shut up.”
The corner of Ellie’s mouth rises, but she says nothing. Gives you space to move.
You take one step, then two more, then your eyes shut and your throat jumps. Uh oh.
“Oh shit, come—“
Ellie guides you to the garbage can near the front of the counter, away from the glass, and you dry heave. Liquid splatters inside the can and Ellie hates this so fucking much. The sounds are enough to make her own stomach lurch. It’s been a while since she’s been around someone this drunk.
But she holds your waist so you don’t faceplant into your own vomit.
“Get it out,” She hums with a grimace, “You’re fine.” An I gotcha almost rolls off her tongue but she catches it. She glides a comforting hand over your curved spine because you’re drunk and you won’t remember such gestures in the morning. She prefers it that way.
You’re not gagging anymore so Ellie removes herself from you. Until she hears a whimper. And a sob so quiet she assumes you’re trying to mask it. Drunk people cry; she’s seen it countless times. Why does that seering feeling spark in her chest for what felt like the billionth time today? Fucking try, for fucks sake!
“Let’s… let’s get you—“
“I wish I was dead.”
Your prayer is hollow. Not even sad despite your tears. So, so empty. Ellie’s seen this before, experienced that nothingness countless times, but despite it all, she never learned how to console. Hell, she barely knows how to self-soothe without falling victim to her dark temptations. Even her paint brushes can’t eliminate the constant ache she feels. She just watches the tremble of your shoulders from behind.
“I really don’t wanna go tomorrow.” You whisper.
Ellie sighs. There’s no other choice. You know the stakes; follow your families’ commands or lose everything at the drop of a hat. They’ll leave you both on the streets to rot with no remorse if they please, replace the two of you with two normal children. Het children that won’t deviate. You’re both on thin ice as it is. Mainly because of Ellie. She can’t seem to keep herself out of trouble.
“I…”
I’ll be with you the entire time. I don’t like being around those cunts either.
“It’ll go by quickly.” She settles.
“I hate when p-people look at me.”
“Me too.”
“I wish my family loved me.”
Ellie’s softer now. Only slightly.
“Yeah…”
A tug in her ribcage. Try. Please, try.
“Me too.”
The pounding beneath your skull wakes you quicker than the birds. You shove your face in the pillow you rest on.
The devil tells you to check the time so you do. The bedside clock says noon, meaning a new day, meaning it’s Saturday meaning you’ll die. Maybe not physically but mentally. You’re so drained and you’ve barely opened your eyes; the idea of leaving bed alone is enough to exhaust you. Your wrists and legs ache like fucking hell on top of that.
You make fists with both hands. Repeatedly clench and unclench. The weight is different on your wedding finger. Heavier. You haven’t seen your ring since yesterday… or a few days ago — you’re not really sure. You must’ve found it in your drunken stupor. Just when you hoped to never see it again.
The universe will always remind you who you are.
If you stand you’ll vomit but your phone is ringing from the drawer you stuck it in weeks ago. How is it not dead? You know your mom’s calling. You hate that she is…
The ringing stops and you thank the heavens.
You curse them when it starts up again.
The drawer slides open with reluctance. The ringing sounds 20 times louder. You retrieve your device blindly and your throat snaps shut when you speak.
“You rang.”
“Did your… partner tell you about tonight.”
Hard and distant. That’s how she speaks to you. Your heart cracks.
Your mom already knows Ellie did. She loves to bother you with nonsense. You don’t think she’s ever called Ellie your wife.
“Yes.”
“You’re attending.”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
“Is that all.”
“Your gown was delivered here. Come by well before 8 to get ready.”
And she hangs up. Just like that. Always. She’s never told you to have a nice day, or to rest well, or that she loves you, at the minimum. And if she had, you don’t remember any of it. There’s a lot you force yourself to forget.
The selfish part of you disregards the burning of your eyes to stare at your phone — low battery and… no messages. No texts, no phone calls from anyone except your mother, no likes on Instagram because your mom scared you into not making one when you were a teenager. No one cares about you. People care about your wife, though. Maybe because she’s talented; she’s certainly not nice.
Your darkest memories are always the most prominent.
Your phone drops to the floor and you don’t reach for it. You just pray to sleep again.
Tonight will be interesting.
The ride to your mother’s is silent.
At least she chauffeured the two of you. Ellie can be scary when she drives. You’ve never been in a car with her, but she did ram into a lamppost on the sidewalk a few nights after your wedding.
Your wife is already dressed despite the party being hours away. She sits right next to you in all black; in a trenchie and turtleneck and slacks and loafers with fur and gold jewelry. When she descended the staircase, you gawked when she wasn’t looking. So simple, but she had your heart fluttering when she’d asked, ready? You’re still in your sleep shorts, teeth unbrushed and starving. When was the last time you ate?
What an embarrassment — you’re an embarrassment, but you can’t bring yourself to care anymore. If only newly wed you could see herself now.
You swallow a lump when you feel eyes on the side of your face, but yours remain glued out the window. The closer you get to your mom’s, the faster your mind starts to shut down. Everything passes you by in a blur.
By the time the gates with your father’s initials come into view, your thoughts go silent, only filled with the calming images of nature and the song of birds. Your only escapism.
The only way you’ll make it out of here in one piece.
Ellie! Darling! We’ve missed you! Give us a smile!
Ellie! Ellie, look this way!
Ellie, where’s your wife?
She wishes she knew. You’d barely made it into your mother’s home before getting swept down the hall by 4 other people who poked at your appearance. Ellie didn’t even get to give your mom the passive, spine-chilling hi, mom like old times before another SUV came to whisk her away from that hell hole. Her dad always knows somehow.
She hates being at your mom’s; it’s stifling and quiet and the aura is dark. Like mother, like house or whatever the fuck.
She scowls when the bombarding questions redirect to you. Some concerning, some sarcastic, some raunchy — those get under her skin in particular — and she can’t stop fiddling with her ring. Her chest tugs tugs tugs.
Trouble in paradise?
You were caught leaving the bar with another woman on your arm a few weeks ago! How’d your wife react to that?
She doesn’t know. She’s never home to see you break.
Guilt ate at her when the door of your mother’s mansion shut behind her, but she disregards it now. You shouldn’t be forced to listen to their guised jabs; You get enough of that from everyone in your life. She hopes you’ll go through the back entrance when you arrive.
When will you get here?
Ellie’s never made an event appearance without you. You’d pose and fidget and display awkward affection so that they’d buy your love a little bit, then enter the gathering as two separate hearts, riddled and torn, never to cross paths until the bustle is over and it’s time to go home.
Finally, security moves and barricades her until she gets past the 20 foot gate and treads the steps. The flashing cameras are still blinding from behind.
The tended garden is the first thing she notices. Wide and green. The daisy and rose bushes are no longer tangled with weeds and surrounded by dead grass and gnats. How could Joelene not see that and be vengeful? Ellie and her dad may not be close anymore, but she knows him; maybe even more than he knows himself. He still misses her mom after everything, and chooses to express it through her favorite hiding spot. Keeps the flowers that bloom and trims the ones that don’t so she lives through them. Ellie hardly remembers a time when her mother wasn’t covered in dirty overalls and sunburnt.
She manages to hold it together when the large double doors open. The violins suddenly sound like nails on wood.
Voices fade into nothing. People are outside your car. Light hurts so terribly.
One second you’re here, the next you’re not. Your mom and her husband sit across with twined arms and the lace from your dress is itchy and you wanna disappear. When you blink, you’re gone. You only exist on this plain if your eyes are open.
Something hard and leather brushes against your ankle, scratches against your stockings, slow and snake-like. You know what it is, who it is, and you freeze, eyes locked onto your mother. No matter your hopelessness, there’s still a young girl in you that wishes your mother would defend, act on anger, be disgusted at minimum. At least when his crimes are done in secret you can’t blame her for not knowing.
But you’re here and she’s here and he’s here. A shared secret between the three of you.
His shoe doesn’t halt on your leg. Your mother never looks at you.
Birds and songs and sonnets. You’re a bird and you can fly against the strongest winds. Music is your guide and you follow the clouds.
Your fingers twist together in your lap and the black interior of the car glows red. If only… he’s not the only one with sick intentions. If only.
You’re flying you’re flying you can fly and there’s someone who’ll love you gently. They’re out there somewhere and you’ll find them and they’ll find you like every trial was worth it.
Patience. That’s all you need. Just be patient.
The rest of the car ride is unbeknownst to you. Next thing you know, your door is being opened and two men await your entry at the glass door.
Champagne is good. Tequila is better. The two mixed is hell.
Ellie’s throat burns and her mind swirls but she plays it off well enough. Mingles with pensive, old bastards while their daughters’ gawk at her with bright-eyed curiosity and you haven’t arrived yet.
She lost her dad somewhere in the night. He greeted her briefly upon her arrival, pointed out the important men of the night, called your mother a selfish bitch, then walked off with his mistress by his side. Ellie’s eyes keep meeting the back door from the living room.
Where are you?
“Ellie!”
She downs the rest of her chute and guards her agitation with a grin. Shakes the hand of…
What the fuck was this dude’s name?
“It’s an honor! Your art is incredible! I’ve truly—“
—Fucking Ronald? Reginald? … Ronald might be it—
“—Your father, ya know, he’s an interesting man, incredibly smart! I’ve never—“
Her dad gave her a run-down of the … merging or whatever the fuck but what the fuck did he say and holy shit, is she sweating? The man’s handshake threw her off, frankly; almost snapped her wrist in two. Fucking old piece of shit. More business jargon that she pretends to understand and care so much about because it’s a show after all. All cheers and stiff laughter.
“And your wife! By God, what a looker!”
Her jaw clenches. Where are you where are you where are you
“What we’d give, I mean, c’mon!” Men that pass laugh with him and it’s taking everything in Ellie not to smash this glass over his head. One quick swing and it’s over. For him and her. How promising.
“Where is she anyway? You two didn’t come together?”
“She um, she’s with her parents right now. They’ll be here.” She jerks her chin toward the entrance.
“How lucky are you. Treat her like the star she is!” It looks like the shithead’s leaving, but not before taunting, “Holler when she arrives, will ya?”
And just like that, he leaves Ellie to simmer. Three deep breaths. A man in a suit and tray filled with champagne waltzes passed her and she snags two glasses. Downs the first in one thick swallow before another clinks with hers.
Why does everyone keep fucking with her?
“Cheers.”
Ellie doesn’t need to look to know who it is. She scoffs. “Sounds like you’re having fun.”
Jolene stands next to her, shoulders slouched and dress glowing under the chandelier. She arches a dark brow, “Who wouldn’t? Men are the most entertaining when they’re on ego trips.”
“Same goes for my dad?” She snips, and Jolene shocks her with a smile.
“Meh.”
“Why are you here.”
“I just told you—“
“No, where are you here.” Ellie gestures between them, “Why’re you talking to me right now?”
Jolene downs her drink and shrugs, “My attempts at bonding. On a scale of 1 to 10, how shit were they?”
“900. Leave me the fuck alone.” Before Ellie can run, a hand clamps down on her wrist.
“I know—“ The woman rushes, “I know we don’t have the best relationship, but I’m not—“
Ellie almost corrects her out of pettiness; They don’t have a relationship, period. There’s no best or worst. But her sudden desperation halts her.
“—the enemy. There’s not a lot for us in these spaces. I just wanted to try and establish something. Anything. Between us. It can be so lonely without a real support system.”
Ellie hates the direction her heart turns her mind. Suddenly you’re there and you’re crying and clawing at your chest and Ellie just watches like she did that night. So powerless. So empty.
But Jolene isn’t you. She chooses to be selfish. Yours comes from self preservation and nothing else.
Ellie snatches her hand back and throws her the deadliest stare. “You don’t know shit about being lonely. You’re the one who gave up everything you had to fuck my dad when my mom wasn’t looking. How much did you care about her loneliness then? Hm?”
The timing was perfect, really. 15 year old Ellie watched her parents get into one of their most abhorrent arguments; her dad leaves first, then her mom, then only one of them returns, and it was not her mother. Imagine her shock when a news reporter confirmed that her mother’s body had been thrown in a garbage bag and left in a dumpster to rot. It only took two weeks to mourn before he was marrying another woman.
Nobody cared that her mother had been shot or stabbed or gutted. She was just a woman married to a successor who raised a deviant child.
Ellie forces herself to not point fingers, though. Anyone could’ve killed her, she always reminds herself; to keep her from going fucking crazy. But timing…
How telling is time.
Jolene’s eyes widen and her grip weakens. Ellie takes that as an escape before she has a breakdown in front of the caviar platter.
She barely takes a step before she collides with a body.
Funny.
She bumped right into a star that shines a royal blue. The woman of the hour, for sure. In her mind, at least.
“Sorry.” You whisper.
“You’re fine. All me.” Ellie says lowly as she takes you in, and you do the same to her. Shy, but yearnful glances. Glossed lips tightly sealed and brows tense. Your dress shimmers and holds you snug and she feels guilty for staring at your curvature. She’s suddenly hyper aware of the vultures that disguise themselves as men and she has an instinct to hide you. And your ring is on. The thumping in her chest picks up. Only slightly.
“It’s great to see you again.” Jolene says shakily from beside Ellie and she almost loses it before a grating voice interrupts.
“You, as well. And your husband is…?”
Your mother. And her lap dog wagging his tail beside her. What a bitch. Both of them.
Your stepdad says something and you inhale sharply and no one notices but Ellie. She studies you carefully. You look like a frightened cat with a frilled tail as he speaks. Claws out, not because you’re ferocious, but so, so scared. She glances at your stepdad; greasy smile while he ogles at Jolene; what a nasty son of a bitch.
Ellie whispers to you, “Is everything o—“
“Joel! Man of the hour! How are—“
“Where’s the bathroom again?” You whisper back.
Ellie takes your hand in hers and flees while the family’s distracted, leading you down a hallway that’s way too long with lights too bright.
She gestures towards the door. “It’s… This is it. One of ‘em at least.”
“… Thank—“
“What’s the matt—“
“I’m fine.”
“You look like you’ve seen a fucking ghost. Did that piece of shit say something to you?” Ellie glances to make sure no listeners are hiding in the shadows.
The widest smile grows on your face as you laugh, hearty and loud with your head thrown back. Ellie stares in confusion.
“Oh, Ellie! You’re so silly,” She jumps when your hands hold her cheeks. You’re fucking freezing and they tremble. Your eyes are a dark void.
You lean in closer, lips right against her mouth and they part slightly on instinct. She’s concerned and should ask more questions, but your skin is so soft. Are you gonna kiss her, she wonders? You haven’t kissed since your wedding; your breath hits her mouth and her tongue swipes her lips. Her eyes flutter shut and she aches to touch you—
“Save a seat for me, love? Please?”
It happens so fast; the frost of you is gone and the bathroom door slams shut while an elderly woman fondly whispers, “young love,” as she walks by. Ellie only nods with a rigid curl of her lips, throat cinched too tightly to swallow.
You puzzle her. She’s tempted to wait for you, to ensure you make it back safely without bombardment, but then
“Ellie! Why didn’t you call me! Your wife made it safely, I see!”
A hand claps on her shoulder while men laugh from the side, boisterous and predatory and so wide their fangs show. Ellie’s sick and a war rages within her.
“Your father sent me to find you! It’s time to eat!”
She sends them a weak smile. She rushes away from the door and they follow close behind.
Anything to lure them away from you.
Attendees have dwindled, only Ellie and her family and you and yours and some CEOs that are really getting on her fucking nerves. But you’ve eaten, thank God. She can breathe a little.
Only a bit, though. You’re putting on a fucking show and it’s scaring her; Even her dad seems impressed. Charmed by you. Clinking glasses and telling jokes and smiling. Did your mom hold you at gunpoint before you got here? How much did you drink? Not much from what she’s seen.
That one fucker from earlier — Raymon or Robert or whatever the fuck — keeps leaning over the table whenever you do. Peeping at your chest, probably. She wishes these steak knives were sharper.
“So! Our young couple,” says Old Bitch with a Combover and wiggly brows, “When are we getting those heirs?”
You cough uncomfortably and Ellie squirms in her seat. Your mother scoffs, “Two women can’t have children—“
Said Old Bitch shrugs, “Well, not biologically—“
“My point exactl—“
Ellie’s father cuts in with a tense grin, “When they get to that point, we’ll discuss their options. There’s… many nowadays, evidently.”
Neither you or Ellie interrupt, but she notices you’ve moved closer to her. Inched your seat a bit. You squeeze your hands so hard in your lap she’s scared they’ll shatter where they lay. You’re not smiling anymore.
Her dad and your mom are subtle with their blows at one another; snarky with brutal stares, unremarkable to strangers, but you and Ellie know. When dinner ends, you’ll both be caught in their crossfire.
“There’s no shame in me wanting my grandchildren to be by blood. I shouldn’t have to go shopping for an heir.” Your mother hisses.
“Sh—“ Joel huffs with disgust, “Shopping for an heir? That’s what you think adoption entails?”
“Does it not?” Your mother’s tone rises.
Reggie, Rory, or Russell interjects with a dismissive wave, “C’mon, you too! No need to argue. I’m sure girls like them will be fine with obtaining children! It might be more… complicated, I will say!”
“May I be excused?” You croak, and Ellie straightens.
“Why? So you can wallow about dying childless?”
The table silences. No laughter, no wittiness. Completely still. That wasn’t from your mother. Ellie doesn’t remember the last time she’s heard your stepdad speak so clearly. Her blood thrashes beneath her skin so harshly that her tongue unties. There’s a darkness in her that whispers, “grab that steak knife”. Brutalize him. Just for a second. Do it for you.
Do it for her.
“Go fuck yourself.” She spits.
Your neck almost cracks with the speed you turn to her, eyes wide as the moon. Her father condemns, “Watch your mouth, Ellie.”
“Or what, you old fuck?”
Her heart rattles noisily in her chest; her hands shake where they rest on her lap, her cells trembling with the instinct to harm. The gaze of her father is distant and filled with inadequacy for his only line. Nothing unbeknownst to her, but there's a flash of something so deep, so forbidden for them, but she sees it every time they hold contact. Beneath all the loathing and lesions left to drain, there’s longing. An inkling of gratitude that she knows he’ll suppress until he’s buried underground. He’ll never look the same to her, and she imagines the same for him. Too many bridges burned.
“How’d I do?” Ellie rasps to him, “Hm? The night went how you hoped?”
Look at what you’ve done, she hopes her eyes say. Tears welt against her will. When was the last time she cried in front of him? She hadn’t even given him that honor at her mother’s funeral years ago.
Ellie’s stiff stature nearly cracks at the light brush atop her knee. A wind catches in her throat when a pinky turns into three fingers, then five, then a palm that squeezes comfortingly, desperately. Maybe partly to keep her glued to this chair. She gulps the dryness down and a flame lights in the pit of her stomach.
Her glance to you is brief, barely out of the corner of her eye, but you’re watching her. Intensely, and it scorches her cheeks, all the way down to her neck. Scared cat. Scared cat. Shrilled and cold and frightened to hell and she despises it.
What changed? She’ll always wonder. That look hardly shook her a week ago and now it makes her teeth ache.
Suddenly, it’s too warm here.
“Get up,” Ellie rushes you. Grabs your arm and yanks you from your seat, “Not dealing with this fuckin’ bullshit tonight. We’re leaving.”
There’s suddenly shouting from all directions of the dinner table with each step Ellie takes for you, but you never drop her hand. She clenches it tighter when you finally reach the back door.
The door slams shut on the wreckage behind you.
Consider plan MERGE a bust.
Ellie’s a thief. You think. Maybe.
Is it stealing if the car belongs to a family member? Where she snagged the keys from? You don’t remember. One second you’re at dinner, then watching the city pass you by the next. It’s silent in here.
“Stop.”
You slam back into your body. Still in the car. You wish you were asleep.
“Huh?”
Her eyes watch the road, but a hand rests on both of yours to pry them apart.
“Stop. I hate that sound.”
“… Wha—“
“You’re gonna rip your skin off if you don’t stop.”
… Oh. Yeah. Bloody cuticles. It was all accidental, you swear.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.” Her eyes shut briefly and she sighs, sounding so worn. Exhaustion is her white flag. “Just stop.”
“Alright.”
“Thanks.”
It’s quiet again. The red from the stop light reflects in the car and you’re instantly reminded of your stepfather.
“Ellie.”
“Hm.”
“We should get a bird.”
“… And do what with it.”
You shrug, “Pet it. Feed it, too.” Sing with it, you wanted to add. Ellie would’ve probably laughed at you.
She snickers dryly, “That’s usually what you do with a pet.”
“I never had one.”
The light turns green and the car revs. Your wife hums, “I had a fish once or twice.”
“Lucky.”
A small — very, very minuscule grin quirks Ellie’s lips and your heart hollers. For joy? In warning?
“Not really. They kept dying so I gave up.” She snickers to herself, and you can’t help but stare. She starts talking then. Eyes gone, tension gone. She’s suddenly relaxed.
“My mom… she, uh… loved water. Was always in it or… watching it on TV or something. She always bought fish from fucking… PetCo—“
“PetCo?” You laugh, then Ellie does.
“Right? She’d take me and be like, “get one”. And I went home with a new fish every time.”
“I thought you only went once or twice?”
“… Times 100,” She giggles, “My mom lived there. She would always talk to the cats through the glass.”
You don’t hesitate, “I wanna go.”
“To PetCo?”
“Yeah.” Why not?
Everything is almost over. So, why not?
“… K.”
“So we’ll go?”
“Mhm.”
And the conversation ends. The car is silent. Suddenly tense again when you ask,
“Do you think we’re cut off?”
Ellie’s jaw clenches and the car is suddenly tense. Back to square one. “Possibly. Tonight was a shit show. It went by fast, at least.”
“What’s gonna happen to me?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m…”
Alone. You’re fucking alone and know nothing about life outside of what was built around you. Without it, you’ll spiral and fail and face a dreadful reality. No more rose colored glasses even if they’re browned and wilted as is. You’ll be eaten alive by the creatures in the night without a protective border.
But the curse will end. You won’t inherit or be forced to lie or play a game that ends in fire. Decades of legacy down the drain just like that, and by your own hand. It fascinates you, that power. A force you’ve been withheld from.
“I don’t know.”
“Still thinking about divorce?” A void in Ellie’s tone.
“I don’t know.”
“They’ll never allow it, you know that, right?”
“What if I just leave?”
“And do what?” Her voice raises.
“Who knows. Who cares.”
“Please,” Ellie exasperates, “Your mom will get fucking SWAT to bring you back.”
“What good will a corpse do for her?”
You’ll be dead but you’ll have a bird. A colorful one. That’ll be your legacy. That’s all you need, really. Ellie doesn’t say anything. Neither do you.
More buildings flash by and suddenly you’re home. Parked in the garage with Ellie beside you, gazing off into opaque walls. You wonder what she’s thinking. If she sees everything in black and white like you do. Maybe she’s the opposite, vision bright and full of suppressed color. She is a painter after all.
“What’re your plans?” Ellie suddenly whispers.
“For?”
“Life. The future. Anything,” She pries and digs for something, “There has to be something that interests you! That gets you excited! There’s so much shit to do.”
You shrug. Not much. Not anything.
“I used to be excited for my wedding,” You mumble, “Like… as a kid. White dress and flowers and everyone’s just excited to be there. For love, and whatever, you know? That’s how it was in movies, at least.” It’s embarrassing to admit, but it’s off your chest. The unhealthy romanticization of the happiest day of your life ended up being just another day to honor the greed of your families. Everyone was so lifeless when they watched you and Ellie kiss. It hadn’t even lasted 3 seconds before she shoved the band on your finger with teary cheeks. Such beautiful scenery was wasted on misery.
You look over and Ellie’s eyes are roaring, palms squeezing together in her lap while her wedding ring twists around her finger. You watch it cycle.
“Now I…” You chuckle sadly, “I just want a bird, to be honest.”
With your heels and purse in hand, the car door opens and you exit, forcing yourself not to peek through the windshield at Ellie again.
The second floor, your bedroom, your bathroom, are all quiet. Did Ellie not follow you inside? For a while, you envision what it would be like if you weren’t married. If you weren’t born as you, would your world be this still?
It haunts you in the shower. Wolffish eyes and dry hands grasping at your shoulders and waist but everything’s quiet.
You wash your face, brush your teeth, wrap your hair alone. You wonder if anyone is actually in the house. Was Ellie a figment of your imagination? Is this one of the nights that proves she doesn’t exist and that your brain is your greatest enemy? You shove your face into the mattress before your thoughts venture. Silence rocks you to sleep, but not forgetting the taunting desire to know
Is death this quiet?
Your mom’s calling.
Vibrations rattle in your bedside dresser. The sun isn’t up yet. The birds are still resting. She never calls this early… or late. Something bad must’ve happened. It takes 17 seconds for your drawer to stop shaking before it starts again.
You can’t move to answer, though. Your body isn’t yours at the moment. Your soul will reclaim its shell soon enough. Or maybe it won’t.
Your drawer shakes shakes shakes. Your heartbeat eventually matches the pace of its vibrations. You think it’s been 20 minutes. Maybe longer. When will the birds wake?
Finally, the calls stop. Your eyes shut again. Instantly taken by darkness.
You never wear normal clothes.
Ellie’s only ever seen you in thousand dollar dresses and high heel shoes that scrape your achilles and cloth that squeezes you so tight she thinks she might explode by just looking at you. No matter how fucking good you look in them.
So what the fuck is that? Moreso, why does she like it so much? Her cheeks are on fucking fire and her heart is trying to flee its enclosing.
You have a t-shirt on. A simple, non-Gucci white tee that says LAS VEGAS and black shorts and a scarf on your head and socks with squirrels on them. Is this the fucking matrix?
You never wake up this late, either. It’s 20 till 10.
“Did my mom call you at all?”
No… no she didn’t… Why can’t Ellie speak? She’s sitting there gaping like a fish and taking guilty glances at your nipples through your shirt. She shakes her head. You nod yours.
“I uh…” She mumbles with a cotton mouth when you step into the kitchen, “I made coffee.”
“I smelled it.” You serve yourself at the counter. 2 Splenda packs, no cream.
“Did your mom call you?”
“Yes.”
“What’d she say?”
“I didn’t answer.”
… Interesting. Odd. Her calls are never missed by you.
“I hope it’s something bad.”
Ellie swallows her sip thickly. “… Damn. Why?”
“She deserves it.” You say calmly while stirring. “He does, too.”
“Your dad?”
“My stepfather,” You hiss and slam your mug on the table. Ellie flinches, “Yes.”
Her palms raise in surrender, “Sorry.”
“Where do you go at night?” The chair across from her scrapes on hardwood when you sit.
Nowhere, recently. Ellie shrugs as nonchalantly as she can, “Anywhere. Wherever I want.”
“Take me next time.”
She pauses her sip to ogle. “Hm?”
“Take me. I wanna see what’s fun for you.”
Ellie huffs a shocked laugh, “No, you don’t.”
You squint, “Yes, I do. That’s why I’m asking to see.”
“It’s not your scene, dude, trust m—“
She jolts where she sits when a hand — your hand, soft and agile and cold, slams down on the table, rattling both your mugs and the vase that holds dead flowers, nearly shattering the glass with an accusatory finger.
“You dunno know shit about me! I’m fucking going whether you like it or not! Whether she likes it or not, and if I have to do it myself, I fucking will, you fucking psychotic fucking bitch!”
You rise and stomp to where she sits with a pounding heart and a lecherous swirl in her gut. You look about ready to slice her open with a blunt butter knife.
“You treat me like fucking trash just like everyone else,” You whisper venomously, and Ellie shakes, “The least you could do is listen for once. Scared to take me to the place you cheat on me at? Don’t want me to see it? That’d be too real, huh?”
Ellie exhales a shaky breath of your name, but your nails, cut and manicured to perfection, sink into her cheeks so tightly that she winces and blushes and her tummy twists with heat. You don’t flinch when her fingers delicately entangle around your wrist; doesn’t want you to think she’s holding you there even though she is.
“You’re gonna show me a good time tonight. If it’s as fun as you say, that shouldn’t be an issue, right?”
Her eyes must read yes, yes, it’s not a problem; Your grin is wild like a hyena; pretty lips swelled around pretty teeth and you always smell good. Caramelized sugar and nectar.
“Who knows,” You purr and Ellie feels goosebumps forming, “Maybe I can meet one of your little friends.”
She chokes around a gasp before her lips curl into a conniving grin, cheeks plush around your fingers, “Aren’t you a little hussy.”
“Fuck you.” You shove her so hard her back collides with the seat but her eyes glow pink. She watches you leave the kitchen and stomp up the steps with a burning chest until a door slams from upstairs. She releases a breath she didn't realize she was holding, wracked and desperate.
-
-
-
Ellie will never admit — or maybe she will, but she purposefully uses your shared bathroom to catch glimpses at you. She always expects to find you out cold and wrapped in warm blankets, chest fluttering with each twitch of your socked feet that peek from below the blankets.
What she doesn’t expect to see, though, is your phone shattered to pieces and left to drown in the clogged sink. Right next to a weighted rubber mallet; Where’d you find that? All your pent up emotions were taken out on your device… and the counter, apparently. The marble is chipped.
She can only laugh in astonishment. Amazement. Fear when she realizes…
Your mom.
Did you ever answer the phone?
Another day you’ve slept away. Either you were dreaming or someone was holding you suffocatingly tight; you enjoyed it, strangely. The sun is completely gone and there’s rustling and music echoing from the bathroom. Ellie’s in there.
All the blood rushes to your head with how quickly you sit up, but your feet carry you past your closets until the light from the room sizzles your vision.
Your wife stands by the mirror, drying her hair with a towel with a cigarette between her fingers. The guitar synths coming from her phone are grinding in your ears.
Is she really keeping her promise?
Did she promise to take you? You don’t remember.
“Hi.” Her eyes meet yours in the mirror and your spine twitches. You say nothing, so she chuffs with a teasing lift of her lips, “Chickenin’ out?”
“No.”
“K.”
“What do I wear?”
She shrugs, “Whatever you want to.” She speaks around smoke and her timbre’s dry.
“What are you wearing?”
“Whatever I want to.”
She must sense your skepticism because she’s suddenly reassuring, voice crackly, “You’re not under any expectations tonight. You wanted me to show you what I do for fun, and I’m gonna. You just have to do your part and enjoy it.”
Your nails dig into your thighs while you watch her. She has her ring on and her body wash coats the room in cinnamon. With a pounding heart, your hands slowly drag up your sides, fingers dragging at the hem of your shirt. She’s not looking.
Enjoy it…
“Did you eat today?”
“No.”
She gives you a look. Stern. What is she mad about? Your tummy flutters, “There’s leftovers downstairs, you can have ‘em,” She shakes her wet hair and puts on her glasses, checks her watch, checks her phone, hits her cigarette. “We’re kinda behind so you should get read—“
Enjoy it.
Her eyes meet where your shirt drops to the floor, breasts on display while your hands inch up your legs to drag your shorts down, all while you watch her. And she watches you. It’s overwhelming, your wife as an audience while you undress. But she told you to enjoy it. Enjoy the night. Enjoy the stares. Enjoy the attention. Enjoy her, for once. It all seeps into your pores. You step out of your bottoms and peel your socks off.
Ellie drinks you in slowly. Says nothing. Simply takes her time memorizing every line, curve, dip, scar of you. You like how ravenous she looks. The sin in her pupils only darkens when your thumbs hook in your underwear to shed them. They dangle from your index finger when you walk; You smile when her throat jumps.
She watches your filled hand travel to her pant pocket to shove the flimsy cloth in. The muscles in her back twitch when your finger traces her spine. Ellie’s pretty, littered in cute, red and brown spots.
“I’m gonna shower.” Your lips brush her ear, and goosebumps rise all over her arms. Her eyes flutter in a pleasant blink, nodding in understanding.
Your wife takes her lighter and reignites your favorite candle while your water warms. How sweet of her to set the mood for you.
Ellie finishes her cigarette while you lather, watching her through the fogged glass of the shower walls, massaging soapy hands into your breasts and your legs and everywhere. She lights another at some point, bent over the counter while she smokes, ogling you through the mirror shamelessly. You smile when it settles in your chest.
You’re gonna fuck your wife tonight.
What a fucking oddball you are. It’s cute. A little sexy, too. Only a little, she swears.
… Fuck.
She waits for you on the bed, dressed and jewelried, fiddling with her watch out of nerves because what the fuck are you playing at? Whiplash; that’s what she’s had all fucking day because of you. She works in the morning, for fucks sake.
Still…
Does she deserve this sudden… What the fuck even is this? Certainly not affection; you nearly strangled her at the dining table. Attention, possibly? Seduction? She’s wired to hell, she wants you so bad. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
She could act on her attraction, sure. She’s positive you’d allow her to take whatever she wanted because that’s what you’re trained to do; to satisfy your partner — husband, she imagines your mother grating — in any way he desires. But Ellie’s not a man, and she doesn’t want that. She needs you to love it, to crave it as much as she does. To take from her like she dreams of taking from you. Ellie needs you to batter her, and if you’d like, she’ll do the same to you.
If only you’d give her something tangible. Teasing isn’t enough. She’s desperate to get a grasp on your headspace; she wishes she could prick and prod at your brain for a second. What an experience that would be.
You enter the bedroom like a ghost; hair still wet and coily, dressed in all black like she is, only decorated with gloss and earrings. No heels either. Just very shimmery looking flip-flops. Ellie bites down a smile.
“Where are we going?”
She shrugs at your inquiry, “Somewhere really, really loud.”
“Will people find us?” Paps, you mean. Ellie denies.
“Not where I’m taking you.”
“Must be secretive.”
She tuts, “Not… well, maybe. It’s fun though. I think you’ll like it.”
“Okay.”
Ellie stands with her wallet and keys and kiddingly offers you an arm to hold onto. “M’lady.”
But you don’t accept it; back turned, halfway out of the room towards the stairs.
Pleasant. She doesn’t mean to smile.
She makes sure to grab the to-go box from earlier before locking the front door behind her.
It is very loud here. And hot. And raunchy.
… You like that. Your mom would have a heart attack if she were to ever walk in here.
The trip to this whatever, wherever place was pretty far. You counted every second of the nearly hour ride, mainly because Ellie’s jittery knee made you nervous. It’s smaller than you assumed, but not quaint. Not at all. There's a ruckus from the entrance to the back exit, people your age and older, screaming and shouting words that you don’t know while people pound on drums and shred on guitar. They sweat through their clothes while their makeup streaks down their faces as they make love to microphone stands.
… Better than tea time, you suppose. How exhilarating. Your heart’s pounding like crazy.
Not much can be said between you and Ellie. You can’t hear over the bass and rumbles from the floor but she holds your hand and small purse. Guides you to a small section in the back with a bar. She hands the tender her card and… that’s it. Four clear, questionably large shots are poured and slid to her like nothing. You want all of them.
Ellie seems so at home as she guides you, already a burning shot down, into the crowd. You’re shoved instantly by party goers, but she catches you, holds you strongly. You look at her, puzzled with shock, but she uncaringly lifts her shoulders, downs a shot, and starts thrashing.
Your jaw slacks and lights beam and flicker at a rapid pace but you’re smiling. Your wife meshes with the scene so nicely. You wanna be like that. So you follow. You drink and jump and flail and scream your head off.
You and your wife are synched for once. Terrible dancers. No rhythm whatsoever. Who cares who cares who cares.
You wish your mom was here to see you like this. You hope your mom’s dead so she never has to see you like this. A thought so dark shouldn’t bring you this much joy. You laugh and holler at the imagery. Blood all over the marble. Blood all over the doors of your childhood home. Blood blood blood everywhere because they deserve it. Look at what they’ve done to you. Sick evil people.
You wanna kill your stepfather. This music makes you wanna kill your stepfather. It’s gorey in itself, almost. Abborherent verbiage. You think Ellie wants to kill your stepfather, too. You should ask her later. Maybe when you're both sober. Maybe you should make your mom watch you skin him alive. Him dying would damage her more than you ever could.
When your eyes open, Ellie’s gawking at you, seemingly surprised. Impressed? She holds your cheeks to get your attention, gesturing, asking if you want another drink. You nod and shout in her face and she laughs. Ellie holds you by the waist and guides you to the bar. The bartender must like Ellie. You leave with a full bottle this time.
You and Ellie pass it between yourselves, the night becoming more and more broken. Touchy. Feely. Ellie rubs all over you while you pour liquor into her mouth. A bit dribbles down the sides but she doesn’t care. You don’t either. So you lick the drops from her neck like a cat with milk. Ellie stops and you stop and everything stops. It’s just the two of you, suddenly; all other patrons evaporate to nothingness. Her eyes are blown and heavy as she searches your face, and they halt their wandering at your lips. She’s thinking about it; You want her to see how bad you crave it. Even if it’s just for a second. She smiles, pleased. You shudder.
But she doesn’t do it. She spins you so your back is against her chest, lips at your neck while she pushes her hips into your ass. She’s messy, drenching your already sweaty neck in spit. Her nails dig into the fabric of your dress, guiding your hips, swaying you on her. You follow. You follow so blindly because you like her hands on you a little too much. You drink and drink and drink. Everything feels light. Good.
You think Ellie’s speaking to you. Or singing words in your ear. Or maybe she isn't speaking at all. You’re not sure, but your face is burning hot. She tongues at your ear and you make a noise that you can’t hear but hope she can. You need this.
Her hands are suddenly slow where they crawl up your sides until they rest on your breasts. Your empty hand lands on one of hers to squeeze so that she can squeeze you. You feel her smiling on your skin when your jaw slacks.
Your head turns to chase her mouth, but she does you one better. Whisks you once more so your chests smash together. She snatches the bottle from your hand, takes one last swig before passing it to eager, drunk hands that wave from behind. You gasp when her thumb catches your bottom lip, pulls it down to get your mouth open enough for her to dribble liquor into. You moan loud enough for Ellie to hear over those booming drums, swallowing down everything she gives, nails sank into her waist while her hips push into yours. When you swallow the last drops, she kisses you. Messy and hot, tongue and teeth; it gets your heart singing. Her pink muscle swirls inside of your mouth and your arms wrap around her neck, yanking her into you so no space is left. Her hands are everywhere; tangled in your hair, grabbing at your hips, your ass, your thighs. Everywhere everywhere everywhere like she can’t get enough of you. You’re overwhelmed and high out of your mind but you follow her guide. Anywhere she wants you, you are.
Maybe you’re just as bad as she is. After everything she’s done, you should hate her. You think you do. You hate her for leaving you. You hate her for embarrassing you. Abandonment. Her only gift to you. Maybe that’s why you kiss her with such conviction.
Her touch is passionate; strong but not forceful. She breathes you in like a rarity, something she treasures, all while she licks and tugs at you like a slut. There’s a pulse deep within you when her lips enclose around your tongue to suck it. Your thighs squeeze and she grins madly, giving you one last innocent peck before she grabs your hand to spin you. You laugh and twirl with her.
You understand why people fall in love so fast. You hate that you’re one of them.
Or are you simply as delusional as they come?
You’re even more enthralling when free of restraint.
Ellie’s drunk and sweaty and exhausted but she uses every last bit of strength to stare at you. She sits at the bar as the crowd dwindles, artist after artist, established or aspiring, all go on to perform, and you haven’t taken a break once. You simply twirl and spin and mouth incorrect lyrics with the widest smile on your face, all while Ellie brings you her drinks to finish.
You’ve been here for hours it seems, but Ellie can’t drive. But the night is young. You certainly don’t look ready to go home.
What more can she show you?
“Thank you all for comin’ out! Tonight was a dream—“
You’re a dream, Her chest screams. You you you you fuck—
You clap like the happiest seal on the planet before spinning around to face Ellie. It happens in flashes: you come closer and closer until you’re in front of her, warm hands on her cheeks, ears tingling when you whisper,
“I didn’t get to meet your sluts.”
You sound upset about it. Ellie stumbles about how they didn’t come, how they’re not here. How she doesn’t wanna see them right now and she means it all, but you don’t believe her, and her chest hurts. Guilty guilty guilty.
“Get up.” You step away and Ellie pains to pull you back, savor the night a second longer. But she signs the receipt before following you towards the exit. The cold air feels so good. She needs water now.
She gives you a little yank when you start wandering the opposing direction, “Come… come here. This way.”
You grin and slur, “Where to?”
Ellie’s brows wiggle playfully, “Gas station. You hungry?”
“…Yes.”
Ellie extends her hand for you to hold, and surprisingly, you accept. Her heart jolts to life.
The walk is quiet. Your eyes are glued to the sky, wide and innocent; the large moon entrances you, surrounded by glittery stars. You both wobble down the sidewalk, trying to avoid bumping into pedestrians and other drunkards. She thought the rowdiness of nightlife would frighten you, but you seem drawn to the chaos.
Soon enough, you’re both surrounded by aisles filled with chips and sodas and a fuck ton of candy. Ellie cringes at the fond stares she gives you holding 4 packs of watermelon sour patches. You’re cute as hell right now. Have you never been to a convenience store? What the fuck.
“El! El, what the fuck! Where ya been!”
Her sluggish brain is trying — really trying to figure out who the hell just left the staff room and is walking towards the two of you. It’s someone that knows her name or whatever shortened version they’ve created and the closer this person gets the more you shield yourself behind her fuck fuck fuck
Arms latch around her neck in a strong hug. Muscular, nice voice, smells like cherries.
Abigail Anderson. Shoulda known. Great.
“Jesus fuck, you smell like my dad’s liquor cabinet! We fucking missed you! We haven’t seen you in…”
When Abby pulls back, her eyes immediately find you. Ellie steals a glance; eyes wide, soft with curiosity. They darken slightly when they lock onto Abby’s shoulders, all the way down to her arms and Ellie… why the fuck does that annoy her?
“Who’s that,” Abby whispers suggestively and Ellie sighs. Scratches at her eye in irritation.
“I’m her wife.” You say causally, and it shocks both of them. Abby moreso. Did Ellie never tell her? She’s sure she did. Everyone knows she’s married… right?
“Wh— wife?” Her eyes shift onto Ellie, “Bitch, you got married? What the fuc— when—“
“3 months ago.” You answer.
“Fucking — holy shit. Congrats? Uhh… sorry! Nice to meet you! You’re gorgeous, by the way,” She stutters to shake your hand, but you accept it, “I’m Abby!”
“Hi.” You smile in delight and your shoulders relax. Abby smiles just as gently and Ellie thinks it’s time to go because you’re both getting on her nerves.
“Alright, well, we're gonna pay, so… yeah. I’ll text you tomorrow or something. We’re tired.”
“Mhmm,” Abby hums cockily, eyes glued to the mess Ellie made of your neck, “Looks like y’all had a great time.”
“We did,” She confirms with pointed eyes, “See ya.”
“Byeee.” Abby sing-songs with a chuckle before Ellie leads you towards the service counter to dump your snacks. Ellie gives the cashier a familiar nod.
“Is she who you fuck?”
Ellie chokes on her water and the cashier gawks at you from behind their reading glasses. You couldn’t have been any fucking louder in that moment, what the fuck.
“What—“
“Do you fuck Abby? I hope not in that bathroom,” You clumsily point to the gender neutral sign near the entrance. “I heard they’re filthy—“
Ellie whispers even though there’s no point, “Dude, are you fucking crazy—“
“… It's just a question—“
“Have a nice night.”
The cashier rigidly hands Ellie her a stuffed baggie and receipt. She snatches them before snatching you to leave. She drops your hand the second briskness surrounds you, “The fuck was that about?” Her chips are calling her. She needs a stress reliever.
“What—“
She squeezes the bag and the pop rings like a gunshot, “Why the fuck are you asking if I fucked Abby? What the fuck—“
“She’s hot and you kinda are… to a certain degree, I guess. I just assumed.”
Ellie’s appalled, but doesn’t have the energy to look offended. “Stop assuming, it’s… that’s fucking weird—“
You simply shove tiny watermelon slices in your mouth and steal her water to chug it. She watches you impatiently before you hand the crumpled, half-empty plastic back to her. She downs the rest and discards it some-fucking-where.
Her thoughts are clouded. Did she fuck Abby? Are you forreal—
“I don’t care, you know.”
“About what?”
You shrug, “If you fuck her.”
“Please be quiet.”
“Okay.”
You both do for a while, dead grass and Dorritos crunching around you.
Until Ellie speaks again.
“You’re quiet.”
“Mhm.”
“Sleepy?”
“Nmhm.”
Wide awake, actually. The world passes you by with each step the two of you take, swirling with bright lights and laughter. You follow Ellie closely, handfuls of candy shoved in your mouth while she munches on her chips. You never had those orange triangles before. Neither of you are in a rush to make it back to the car. Can Ellie drive in this state?
“Do you, uh, like places like that? Concerts?”
“Yes.” You break out in a grin.
“What else do you like?”
“I dunno. I haven’t… experienced much.” You shrug, accidentally brushing against your wife’s shoulder. Electricity sparks near the end of your spine where a steadying hand rests. “Your friend… does she go with you? To concerts?”
“Who?”
“Aaabby.” You tease, mocking the blonde girl from earlier, and Ellie’s expressions flattens. She's unsure why.
“Oh, uh… yeah,” Her chip bag is suddenly very interesting. “Sometimes. I met her at one a few years back after a showcase I hosted.”
“I like her.” She’s nice and smells nicer. You regret not shaking her seemingly strong hand a few seconds longer. Strong all over, actually.
“… Uh huh.”
Your brow arches at that, “Does that bother you?”
“Why the fuck would it bother me? You can like whoever.”
“Exactly how you like whoever, huh?” You sneer lazily, and Ellie goes stoic. And just like that, the conversation dies once more. You’re glad for it; selfishly, you’d rather refrain from telling your wife about how attractive you found her friend. She’s left you guessing under too many circumstances. Consider this a sliver of revenge.
You both make it back to the parking lot in silence, minus Ellie’s agitated crunching. You lean against the passenger door while you watch her dig around for the keys.
“Where to?”
“It's almost 4 in the morning.” She hisses.
“So?” You came home later than that for weeks. You wanna say it. You should say it. Grind your thumb deeper into that open wound, but you save it. Another day, maybe. Maybe not.
“So we’re going home. I’m tired.”
“Well, I’m not.”
“Okay? Whatever, I’ll drop you off somewhere.”
“You wouldn’t leave your poor, defenseless wife unattended, would you?” You whisper slowly, and Ellie tenses when you plant a soft hand on her shoulder. She doesn’t acknowledge you, just stares through the window behind you. You scoff and drop it by your side. Cross your arms stubbornly.
“You’re mad because I like Abby.”
“There’s nothing for you to like! You just met her.” Her voice raises, and annoyance flares in you.
“Exactly! I just met her, and I like her! The fuck did you think I was gonna do? Flash her right in front of the gummy worms?”
“I don’t know! Fucking maybe!”
“So you can fuck other people but I can’t?”
Ellie’s very close to you suddenly. Your heart jumps, “Oh, now you wanna fuck Abby? She’s the first person you’ve interacted with besides me since we got fucking married!”
“SO?” You holler.
“SO YOU’RE NOT FUCKING MY FRIEND! ARE YOU INSANE!” Speckles of spit land on your face and it sizzles into your pores. You might be. You fucking are. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Ellie’s forcing herself into your space, so why do you fight? Why are you hungry?
Your palms crash into her chest and she nearly loses her balance, “I DON’T NEED PERMISSION FROM YOU! WE’LL FINALLY BE EVEN, YOU FUCKING WHORE!”
“Yeah? Think Imma fucking whore?” Her grin is sinister, and excitement coils in your belly. Gets your fingers twitching from how hard they’re clenched.
“Maybe I do.” Vehemence scathed your tongue.
“You know what I think?”
“I don’t care—“
“I think you do.” She mumbles against your cheek, “I think you’re jealous.”
You still. Ellie’s eyes pierce through yours, burning and hot, nostrils flared: she looks like she could snap you in half. Your spine tingles with delirium.
“You’re mad because I get to be. I can exist and fuck and party and come and go as I please and you hate it. You wish you could do what I do.” She stares like you killed her mother yourself. Strangled her with your bare hands. “I don’t have mommy and daddy breathing down my neck every 2 seconds. You want that so bad it makes you sick.”
“So why stay?”
It shocks her. You don’t waver; passive as usual.
“You’re free and can do whatever you want, right? Why are you here? Go and be that. Be whoever you wanna be because you can.”
Everything will be over soon. Might as well. Ellie simply glares through you.
Curiosity is your worst enemy. Might as well ask.
“Why’d you defend me at dinner?”
What does she know what does she know what does she know what
She rubs her eyes stubbornly, “Oh my fucking god, who gives a fuck!”
“Me! I give a fuck! Why’d you do it! Why! You’ve never done it before!”
She knows she knows she knows she knows she knows she knows
“BECAUSE FUCK HIM! FUCK EVERYBODY THAT DID THIS TO US! FUCK YOU, TOO!”
You might cry, you might not. You’re unsure of everything and you’re angry and hurting. Ellie’s a reflection of you, and vise-versa. You hate her hate her hate her.
Hatred. It might be the reason why kissing her feels so good. Because it shouldn’t be happening. Ellie shouldn’t have you trapped between her and her car, grinding so harshly into you that your spine bends. You shouldn’t tug at her hair to expose her neck to lick and suck and bite her neck red while she curses in your ear.
This is the distraction you’ve been desperately searching for. To think you’d find it in your wife after all this time.
“I’d be a whore for you,” She shamelessly seers against your throat, hands wandering to unbutton her own pants, “You know that, right?”
… That’s cute. Makes you blush.
“Yeah?” Her laugh is thick like syrup, “Gets you hot? Knowing how easily I’d give it up for you?”
That sideways grin makes you tick. Your hand closes tight around her throat and she nearly bloodies her bottom lip with her fangs. Your wife looks pathetic; thumbs hooked into her pants, so ready to drop them for you in the middle of the parking lot. People are wandering about; she’s willing to fuck in front of them?
How pretty would she look trying to be quiet for you? Nervous eyes searching for privacy, praying no one walks by and sees her on the edge with your hand down her underwear. Hopefully no one recognizes her, pulls out their phone, records the two of you. Blasts you both on social media while Ellie moans in your mouth. What would people think? Your families? How ashamed would they be? Their two girls making a mess of themselves in public.
The thought makes you smile. Scares you. Makes you choke her harder. Her pained whine vibrates in your palm.
“Get the fuck in the car.”
The windows fog with the heat of your bodies; her body trapped beneath yours in the back seat that’s roomier than you anticipated. She rolls your hips on top of her, desperate and eager to rip your fucking clothes off and feel you for real. Your dress rests around your hips, your panties on display and she wishes she could see them. She only has her hands for reference, tracing over each thin seam littered with lace and patterns she tries to memorize. Your tongue belongs in her mouth. You feel so fucking good; you’re not close enough. She needs you closer.
Her mouth chases yours when you finally separate, only connected by a thin string of saliva, but a stern hand collides with her chest to keep her flat. Her hands tickle your waist. Rests your dress even higher until she can see your belly button.
“Wanna know a secret?” You whisper down at her, and she smirks.
“I know you’re a virgin, baby.” She whispers giddily, and your teeth grit. A flame coils in your chest. You ignore her.
“You could’ve had me after our wedding, you know? With my face buried in the pillows and my ass in your face. I would’ve let you do whatever you wanted that night.”
Your sudden vulgarity stuns her silent. Your wife looks like she’s imagining it; lip bruised from both your and her teeth, mind racing with filth of you in every position she can think of. She wouldn’t have been able to separate from you if that was the case. It’s one of the reasons she kept her distance; those pretty brown eyes rolled back would’ve put her underground. She’d never tell you that.
“But no,” You say like it aches, “You wanted to go and bend over all those girls that follow you around like fucking dogs. You wanted a bitch, not a wife. Right or wrong?”
She can barely breathe and your hand pressing on her chest isn’t helping; reduces her to sharp gasps that make her lightheaded. The more ragged they become, the harder you press. Your brow arches when she innocently bares her teeth.
Her palms squeeze at your ass, “I thought about you the entire time—“
Your hand cracks and her head flies to the side. Right on her left cheek is the already reddening imprint of your hand. The crackles in your palm are numbed by the alcohol and your core burns at the shock on her face. She gawks off to the side, that meddling smile dropped completely, chest ragged with her breaths.
“Ellie, put your hands down.” You spit, and they drop from you completely, palms flat on the seat beneath her.
“You had every chance to do right by me and you wasted every single one.” You sound like you’re about to cry; Ellie’s too scared to look at you. Not the good scared that she’s felt around you this entire time, but a hollow scared. The one that freezes you. Her fight or flight is triggered.
“I think you owe me an apology.” You whisper against her burning face before you kiss it gently. A pained groan escapes her, and you laugh. Loud, in her face. Even louder when she tries to grind her hips up into you.
“Take us home, wife.”
#ellie williams#ellie williams smut#lesbian#works 𖧧࣪#arrangedmarriage!au#ellie the last of us#ellie x reader#ellie williams au#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams tlou#black!oc#black!reader#ellie tlou#ellie x fem reader#ellie williams angst
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A Deal With God
Themes: fem!reader, Morningstar!reader, Angst, mention of character death, secrets, religious themeAlastor being Alastor, fluff, slight smut, deal-making, soul possession, Lilith a shitty mother/wife/sister, established relationship, difficult family dynamic, there’s a trope in here I just don’t know what to call it?
Chapter 1
chapter 2
You had ordered Niffty that some rooms needed to be spruced up and took the liberty to tidy up the lobby yourself.
You hummed to the sound of the song playing on the radio as you neatly stacked whatever plans Charlie was coming up with in the night.
Charlie.
Your heart ached for the Princess.
After Lilith left, the Princess had founded a hotel to help redeem the souls of the damned.
You were unsure of her plan, but you could never deny her.
damn those puppy eyes.
So here you were, seven years later, helping your niece with her wild endeavor.
But you weren’t alone;
“Aaahh just the doll I wanted to see!” A radio-like voice chirped.
Alastor.
You smiled in greeting to the lanky demon.
Alastor, the famed and fearsome Radio Demon.
You were a bit skeptical when he showed up at your door, but when he offered to help Charlie you took him in.
Who were you to say no to help? You needed the extra hands.
”Hello Al, did you need something?” The tall demon smiled down at you as he shook his head.
”Nooo just thought I would check in. How’s Charlie’s new plan along?” You laughed “ooh their a coming thats for sure” nodding towards the board she had made the other night.
An idea popped into your head “Why don’t you make a commercial Al ” He went to make a comment, but you interrupted him “A proper commercial. The sinners need to know the benefits of the hotel and that there is hope”
you waltz up to him, a soft smile on your as you batted your eyes at him ”pretty please?” You wrapped your arms around him, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
He hummed, seeming to mull over the thought, chuckling
”fine fine”
You grinned “Thank you”
He whistled as he walked out the room, you smiled after him, getting back to your task.
Your phone ringed and you answered without seeing who called. “Hello?”
A nervous laugh responded “Heeeyyy bitch”
Lucifer.
You rolled your eyes “Hello to you too Luci ”
He groaned at the nickname.
”Ugghh so hows things been….” He wanted something.
“Whaaaaat? N-Nothing what makes you think I want something?”
he couldn’t see your face, but you were making a pointed face.
”Okay okay its just- hows-hows Charlie?” He asked.
You frowned “Charlie is fine, through it wouldn’t hurt if you came by and saw your daughter Luci”
You hadn’t forgave him for setting Charlie up to chat with Heaven months ago when he should have been the one to settle things between them.
Charlie might have a optimistic view of the world, but she lacked experience. You should have been the one to be at that meeting.
But nevertheless.
”I-I don’t know about that…” he trailed off. But you were quick to fix that avoidant nature of his.
”Come to the hotel. Come see what your daughter is trying to do. No one would take this seriously if the King doesn’t approve himself. If not that, just come see your daughter Luci, she needs more than just me around” you felt bad for guilting him but this had to be done.
Charlie was growing into an excellent leader, you were sure she would make a great queen one day.
”so you’ll be here tomorrow? Great see you then. And don’t forget…I can see you so don’t make me drag your ass here tata”
———————————————————————————————
Charlie had gathered everyone to the lobby to come up with ways to recruit sinners to the hotel.
Charlie was nothing if a perfectionist and always took on more than she could chew.
”Hey babe maybe its time to use some of that royal privilege” Vaggie suggested, she gave a quick look in your direction, making Charlie shake her head feverishly
”no no no my auntie has already done so much! I can’t ask her to do anything else”
You smiled, but chimed in to support Vaggie “She’s right Charlie.” Your niece gawked at you.
You approached her, slipping a arm around her shoulder in comfort “Now I know it’s been rough and weird between you and your father buuuuuuut I took the liberty in inviting him here” she groaned “what? Noooooooo” you shushed her whining
“Now now you’ll get to show him that what you’ve been doing is good for the kingdom. That your heart’s in the right place. He’ll help I promise”
Charlie rested her head on your shoulder, groaning in defeat
”w-when will he be here?”
”Oh in a hour”
”WHAT?!”
———————————————————————————————-
“OH Charlie its so good to see you!” Lucifer exclaimed pulling his daughter into a tight hug.
You smiled, giggling as Charlie choked out a response to her father. You pulled him away from her, giving him a hug
”Nice to see you too Luci” the King blushed and looked around.
”sooooo this is what you two have been up to? It sure got some….character ” he said nervously.
“Well we had some help” you gestured to Alastor. Lucifer eyes narrowed slightly “uuuhhh hhhuuuhh suuurre and who might you be?” Alastor eye twitched before quickly shaking his hand “Alastor! Pleasure to meet you sir… I must say you are…much unimpressive than what I imagined” he mused, causing the man to deadpan.
You cleared your throat “Alastor here has been a tremendous help with the hotel. I don’t know what we would have done without him” you praised.
Lucifer growled as Alastor wrapped an arm around your waist pulling you into his side.
Alastor sneered at the monarch “Aaah yes what creative ladies I have here. I am HAPPY to fulfill any wish they desire” he grinned down at you, giving you a slight squeeze.
”hmmmm sister dear why don’t you show me around” he whacked Alastor’s hand with his cane and pulled your arm away from him with a tight smile.
Charlie and Alastor followed the two of you as you gave a quick briefing of the hotel, letting Charlie take over and show her dad around.
You sighed happily, it was nice to see Charlie interact with her dad. You hoped that he would see the big picture and offer her some guidance and support.
You leaned your head against Alastor’s shoulder, turning to return to the lobby
”Let’s leave those two to catch up shall we?”
He huffed but followed you anyway.
———————————————————————————-
“Well it is a very good plan b-but I don’t know Charlie” Lucifer sighed. Charlie’s face dropped. “Daaad this is the only way to prove to Heaven that sinners deserve a second chance”
Lucifer looked away from his daughter “Charlie you don’t understand-” she huffed,frustrated “what don’t I understand? That my own father don’t believe in me? If Auntie can why can’t you?” She was holding back tears.
You were on the fence at first too, but you were willing to help her out. You supported her crazy ideas and even encouraged that she gave it her all.
Yes it might have been far fetched, but you believed that Charlie could do what Lucifer could not.
”Heaven wont listen to you Charlie! They didn’t listen to me. What makes you think you can change their minds?”
You knew it was a tough question.
Charlie didn’t know the hardship of how Heaven operated.
How much Lucifer had spent centuries trying to convince them that humanity was capable of doing amazing things.
Hell, if sinners had mortal souls why couldn’t they change after death?
But you knew. Heaven was convinced that the rules were black and white. Hell was made to punish the most severe sinners.
of course this is flawed for several reasons
Hell was a punishment to all who fell.
Lucifer knew this.
But why couldn’t things change?
Charlie turned to you, a look of frustration and sadness on her face. You intervened. “Luci just one meeting. One meeting with Heaven so Charlie can at least try. I know you can’t see that things could change, but think about the possibility. Why should a sinner be damned if there’s a second chance? Heaven shouldn’t be able to decide what a person’s soul is capable of”
Lucifer sighed.
You always had a way of making him see possibilities in things.
If you believed in Charlie, then that must have meant…
”what are the odds in this succeeding” he asked you
You blinked.
You knew what he was asking.
Your sight of everything was always nearly right.
”Theres a few bumps to sort out, but it’ll be fine” you said.
he grimaced.
”Ill even go to Heaven with her” you offered.
Charlie was going to need all the backup she needed up there.
Angels could be a piece of work.
Lucifer sighed, before turning to his daughter “Fine. One meeting-” Charlie launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his small frame and she jumped around
”thank you thank you thank you!”
He smiled, returning her hug.
Charlie ran off to find Vaggie and tell her while you watched Lucifer.
”It wont stop anything” he said as you ushered him into the office.
You hummed, pouring a cup of tea as you looked out the window into the city on the horizon.
”You don’t know that” you whispered.
Silence filled the air between the two of you.
”H-have you…you know” he started to say nervously
You turned to him, seeing him fiddle with his wedding ring.
Your stomach curled.
”what” you growled out unintentionally
he swallowed “Have you seen Lilith?”
You stilled. Your wrist burned in warning
promise me
”I can’t tell you that” you said curtly.
Lucifer glared at you “you’ve been saying that for years!”
”and you always get the same response” you said back
He stood up and angrily approached you.
”Have you no shame? I know you. You can’t lie to me!” He was starting to raise his voice
”Luci calm dow-”
“NO! You can see everything! Everything and everyone! so tell me sister have you seen my wife…have you seen Lilith?!”
he was grabbing your arms, shaking.
You hated the look of despair on his face, hoping that you would at least tell him something.
But your wrist burned at his question, and your anger of being put in such a predicament got the better of you.
You hissed at him “No.” you held his glare, before he sighed letting you go. He ran a hand through his hair, backing away from you “Im sorry i-i didn’t mean that”
You clicked your tongue at him sighing
”Oh Luci…” you cupped his cheek, you couldn’t tell him where she was, no Lilith made sure of that,but you could show what you’ve seen.
Lucifer��s eyes widened as flashes of his wife appeared in his mind. He didn’t know where she was,but she seemed…happy.
”I know you worry about Charlie but I will never let anything happen to her. Heaven can act all high and mighty, but surely someone up there will see reason” you said to him, breaking him out of his trance.
He shook his head slightly, giving you a soft smile, nodding.
“Sooooo you and that bellhop…” he wiggled his eyebrows at you teasingly. You tensed, looking away embarrassed. He laughed “Oh? Shy? Not you” you glared at him, folding your arms across your chest in defense “w-what? Theres nothing wrong with me trying to pursue someone” you grumbled. Lucifer smiled. It was cute at how flush you were.
You were always the serious one.
Never really doing things for yourself.
You always held duty and responsibility above all things.
So seeing you blush over some tacky, old times fuck guy was refreshing.
So he teased “Oooh no the Queen can do anything or anyone she likes”
You growled at him, making him laugh harder as he gave you a hug and bid you goodbye as he teleported, leaving you with your thoughts.
“Well that was interesting” you whipped around to see Alastor walking from the shadows.
You laughed nervously, “Alastor! I didn’t hear you come in…how muuuch of that did you hear?”
He smiled down at you, tilting his head “ooooh nothing I wont repeat my dear” he tapped your nose.
He rested a hand on your lower back to escort you to your room like a proper gentleman.
He kissed you goodnight before venturing off to his radio tower. He had to organize some of his thoughts.
Alastor knew you were powerful he admits only that! but he hadn’t expected you to be the Queen of Hell itself.
Yes you were the Princess’s aunt but he just chalked it up to you just having power by blood alone.
The Queen of Hell….hmph.
Pride swelled in his chest at the thought as well as a wicked smile graced his lips His darling was one of the most powerful in all of Hell that gave him a power trip and a lingering thought
How the fuck were you the Queen?
Just how powerful were you?
And one last thought before he turned on his broadcast
How could he use that power you wielded?
@dasimp777 @projectdreamwalker @fairyv-ice @stygianoir @k1y0yo @thewinchestah @imgonnadielaughing-blog @purplecatsandhearts @blinderthanabats-blog @saphiresai @th3-st4r-gur1 @evedenn @queenariesofnarnia @yoitsnetto @alastor-simp @alastorsaries @alastwhore666 @alastorsdear @peachedtv
@tpks @siiv3r @markster666 @okay-babe @strawberrypimp666 @coleisyn @simphornies @lunaramune @alastorsdarling @prosciuttosblog @ioniiaa @fizzled-phoenix @horrorartsworld @polytheatrix @dennsfz @yourdoorisunlocked @stawberrypimpsimp @alishii @alleystore @preciousbabypeter @yunimimii @peachedtvs @karolinda007-blog @chewbrry @aviradasa
comment below so i can see if I’m missing anyone who wants to be tagged…ALSO each chapter is linked to the last and next…
#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#alastor#alastor x reader#alastor the radio demon#hazbin hotel fanfiction#jyoongim#alastor x y/n#alastor smut#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor x morningstar reader#lilith hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel adam
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ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི’ Streamer!Ellie
warnings || none !!
lower case intended
{ I LOVE streamer els :’( }
⋆⭒˚。⋆ ⭒˚。 ⋆⭒˚。⋆⭒˚。⋆ ⭒˚⋆⭒˚。⋆ ⭒˚。⋆⭒˚。⭒˚。⋆ ⭒˚。⋆
✮ streamer!ellie ' who's set up is either a really shitty web cam or top tier. Either way she def takes pride in it !
જ⁀➴
✮ streamer!ellie ' who watches shitty reality tv shows on stream and her reactions to the scenes def had a part of her blowing up.
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✮ streamer!ellie ' was really insecure when she was just starting out streaming , like poor baby would tape up her camera up in fear it would randomly turn on ;((
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✮ streamer!ellie ' who after hitting a milestone finally did a face reveal and was shaking in her boots.
She was just yapping to yap lwky.. because of how nervous she is
"So chat are we perhaps rocking with my outfit !"
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✮ streamer!ellie ' who fucks around with her soundboard way to much ..
like baby be pushing buttons at the wrong time
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✮ streamer!ellie ' who be fighting with her viewers sometimes..
'@elliesbigfatlefttoe - Ellie why can I SEE your armpit hair peaking out bae..'
SHE SNAPS BACK SOO QUICK
"BIG FAT WHAT? .. The fuck come bite it off for me then weirdo"
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✮ streamer!ellie ' who plays a variety of games from Minecraft , Valorant , Roblox , Fortnite [ she gets called dog water by random 10 year olds.. (╥﹏╥) ] a bunch of random horror games and some rpg games.
She also does chill talking streams & random reaction videos.
LMAO SHE DEF READS FANFICS ABT HERSELFF
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✮ streamer!ellie ' who EATS on fashion famous
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✮ streamer!ellie ' gets herself into random ass twitter beef and just takes all the roast she gets by 10 year old arianators..
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✮ streamer!ellie ' is really just a big loser
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✮ streamer gf!ellie ' who after she blew up needed to introduce you to her stream , or at least make it known shes MARRIED.
ellie randomly drops the gf bomb on everyone on a random thursday stream outta no where..
୨♡୧
It was a pretty chill just chatting stream
when ellie started to give her viewers a ring tour. the pads of her fingers brushed against a certain ring on her left hand . a smirk could be seen adoring ellie's face while she slipped it off and tried to be a lil beauty guru showing the ring off.
up close in action shots as she called it..
"It's a promise ring with the wifey you know !" she said with pride forming inside her chest and a smile falling on her face.
Tik tok and wlw twitter sighed that day..
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✮ streamer gf!ellie ' who soft launches you and your identity.
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✮ streamer gf!ellie ' who loves when you sit in her streaming room with her ! although she tends to get a bit shy knowing your presence is there
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✮ streamer gf!ellie ' who talks the most shit with you about petty drama in her community ..
"babe you'll never guess who got cancelled .."
before you could even open up your lips to ask her what happened she cut you off in an instant
"bro that dyke abigail , her ex came forward saying she gave her fucking chlamydia.. goodness dirty ass bitch"
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✮ streamer gf!ellie ' who loves the way you love her. she can't ever seem to really wrap her mind around the fact that you've really stuck around with her for this long!
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✮ streamer gf!ellie ' who is wife !!
⋆⭒˚。⋆ ⭒˚。 ⋆⭒˚。⋆⭒˚。⋆ ⭒˚⋆⭒˚。⋆ ⭒˚。⋆⭒˚。⭒˚。⋆ ⭒˚。⋆
Hii bbys I acc had sm fun writing this ! soo again maybe part two ?
Again requests are wide open so pls send some !!
ILYSMM and TYSM for reading !! (∩˃o˂∩)♡
⋆⭒˚。⋆ ⭒˚。 ⋆⭒˚。⋆⭒˚。⋆ ⭒˚⋆⭒˚。⋆ ⭒˚。⋆⭒˚。⭒˚。⋆ ⭒˚。⋆
daily click for Palestine !!
from the river to the sea Palestine WILL be free!! 🍉
#streamer!ellie#Ellie fluff#ellie x fem reader#ellie the last of us#ellie tlou#tlou#ellie williams#TLOU fluff#last of us fic#»-♡→ ‘ Cupid yaps#abby x reader#abby fluff#i love youu
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Hi, I would like to ask for a smut from Adam x fem Reader, he takes Lucifer's wife so he can get back at Lucifer I love your posts
THANKS ANON
warnings: previous lucifer x reader. unprotected sex (don't do this). degradation if you squint? like a brief mix of both degradation and praise.
- Lucifer's pretty ex-wife, almost looking more like an angel than a demon, which was one thing that Adam found pretty appealing. The attractive appearance, with the subtle demonic features? Badass. He was into it.
- Puts his plan into action. He knows usually he can get any girl he wants, he's fucking Adam, but you're gonna be special. You were Lucifer's bitch (affectionately), so he wants to make this BIG.
- He plays it real cool. Lucifer almost hands you over himself, sending you to a meeting Adam had requested instead of showing up himself. This was the second time Lucifer had bailed like this now, what a little bitch. He can't help but feel lucky that even after splitting, you were still on okay enough terms for Lucifer to ask you such a favour.
- You have a little chat, and he plays a few harmless little jokes on you. It's been a while since you've laughed this way, and you confide in Adam that Lucifer wasn't the most social. You missed him. He stayed locked away in his room, and you got a small "hi, sweetheart" now and again, but it just wasn't the same. Not compared to how he used to hold you in his arms, sing songs to you, like a fairytale type of love. You missed that. Which was why you left him.
- Adam couldn't help but scoff at this, he should've expected as much from Lucifer.
- "Y'know, he missed out on some good shit. You're a fuckin' hottie. I don't know what he was doing ignoring a babe like you." He says. It's meant to be... comforting? Maybe? In his own way. You're a little confused, but also a little flattered?
- You two start to gossip like friends would, and you become more comfortable with the man sitting a few seats away from you, completely forgetting about the business portion of this meeting (a.k.a. the bullshit Adam made up to even get the meeting in the first place).
- He brags about himself a bit, and you can't help but find it the littlest bit charming, in a funny way. He talks about his band, how he "fuckin' shreds like a badass" on the guitar, and how the fangirls go crazy for him.
- "I'm not too interested in them though. I have my eye on someone else. I mean- yeah, they're cute 'n all, but nothing compared to this one chick I've been thinkin' about lately. She's somethin' real special." he explains.
- "A cute little lady whose shitty ex-husband left her feelin' so lonely... and unsatisfied too, I bet."
- That's when you catch on, taking notice of the subtle flirtatious smirk that plays on his lips. You feel your cheeks burn the slightest bit, and you turn your head away, a bit speechless.
- Adam knows he has you now.
- A few sweet words later, and steps closer that you didn't even really seem to notice him taking, too busy focusing on his (slightly vulgar) flattery, you now feel each other's breath against your faces. The moment is tense, and his lips, now exposed after he removed his mask, ghosting over yours.
- The mask was quite the reveal. But you had to admit, he was not at all bad looking. He wasn't exceptional, but he didn't need to be. You liked him just the way he was. In this small meeting he had shown you more kindness and attention than your husband had in a while.
- One thing led to the next. A flirtatious glance, a gentle brush against each other's hand, and next thing you know, you're laying on your back on the meeting table, Adam between your legs, his lips on your neck.
- He can't help but leave you absolutely covered in hickeys. It's nice to be possessive over something. Someone who's his now. He finally turned the tables on Lucifer, and that thought can't help but bring a smug grin to his face.
- When he was joking around earlier, calling himself the "dick master" you thought he was kidding.
He was not.
- He fucking pounds you into the table, one hand on your waist, the other on your tits, feelin' you up and teasin' you to get you all flustered. He wonders how long it's been since you felt this good, but don't worry, he'll make you forget all about that.
- He can't deny that you feel (ironically enough) fucking heavenly. It's like he can't get enough of it. Not only is the sex itself amazing, he just can't get enough of the victorious feeling of getting back at Lucifer.
- Trust me when I say he has you SCREAMING. He's so fucking glad he didn't use the hologram, instead taking the risk of going down to Hell himself, just for the opportunity to feel that cunt on his cock.
- "That's a good fuckin' bitch."
- He honestly can't even quite help the filth that just comes out of his mouth so naturally, his language vulgar but.. kinda hot?
- He can't help but cum inside you and fill you up, groaning a drawn out "Fuck yes." as he hovers over you on the table.
- He's pretty happy with his new badass demon bitch by his side, and his visits to Hell on "business" become a lot more frequent. The business in question is just him fucking you in every possible position, leaving you covered in hickeys, kisses, and bite marks. You're all his now. Suck it, Lucifer.
THATS IT
it's almost 4 am so this is not at all proofread
so if it's shit
i'm sorry
edit: the cheating part made me feel bad so i switched it up
#hazbin hotel#voxbox#hazbin hotel smut#hazbin hotel adam#adam smut#hazbin hotel adam smut#adam x reader
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Not My Sister's Keeper Pt. 3
Roman X OC(Kara)
Jey Uso X OC (Tia)
Rating: 18+
Warning: Smut; sex, fluff, couple arguing, Jealousy, infidelity, pregnancy
Roamn’s wife recently left medical school and returned home to save her marriage. Upon her return, she finds out things are not what they seem. Her sister is pregnant by her best friend Jey Uso, who is also Roman’s cousin, and her husband is acting suspicious.
What happens when a conversation overhead on a baby monitor blows her world apart?
Kara's Parent's Guest House
Kara's POV
“What the hell do you mean your water broke!” I exclaimed as Tia screamed in pain.
Is this really happening, she’s in labor.
Switching to auto pilot I helped Tia over to the couch to lay down .
“Are ya’ll alright down here I saw Jey leaving and he looked upset?” my dad asked pausing at the door.
“She’s in labor, call an ambulance,” I said as my dad called 911.
“Where is mom? I need her,” Tia moaned as dad held her hand.
“She had to go get your brother, his flight just got in,” dad said as I tried to time Tia’s contractions.
“Another one is coming!” Tia screamed as I frowned. That was too close to be having contractions.
“How long have you been hurting?” Dad asked as Tia grunted through another contraction.
“Since this morning but I wanted to have my baby shower, it wasn’t as intense earlier.” She moaned shook my head.
“You always do stuff that don’t make sense! Ugh,just breath and lay back until the ambulance comes,” I said trying to put aside my differences for the moment.
Logan being born safely was all I cared about at that moment.
“I feel like I need to push!” she cried as I reached down to check her and felt the top of the baby’s head.
This bitch really done sat here in labor all fuckin’ day….
“My daughter said she feels like she has to push, should she do it?” my dad asked putting the phone on speaker.
“Dad the baby’s coming I can feel the top of her head,” I said, totally overwhelmed as Tia screamed in pain.
This had to be some cruel joke…I’m really about to deliver Roman’s baby…His baby with my sister…
“Ok, looks like this baby ain’t waiting, I’m going to need you to get some towels, scissors and something to tie around the umbilical cord. There is a traffic jam, and we are about thirty minutes out,” the operator said my heart began to race.
“This isn’t happening right now,” I whispered trying to help Tia get comfortable as dad gathered the needed items.
“I’m so sorry Kara,” Tia cried as I tried to keep my emotions bottled up but couldn’t stop my tears.
“Look, Logan needs your help. You gotta push with all you got,” I whispered trying to keep my mind on what was important right now.
“Here is the stuff,” dad said placing the items beside me as we waited for nature to take its course.
“When the baby comes out, I need someone to tie that string about a half an inch up before you cut the umbilical. Now when another contraction hits, I need mama to push as hard as she can,” the operator said as we all listened intently to her not wanting to miss anything.
“Here it comes. Ahhh!” Tia screamed pushing with all her might as my niece’s head eased into my hands.
“Oh, I got her head, it’s out!” I cried. “Come on and push Tia!” I shouted, as she screamed pushing once again.
“It’s burning! Get her out! Please, get her out!” she yelled and with one final push, my niece made her entrance into the world, but there was no noise….. No crying.
“She’s out,” my dad cried to the operator as I tied off the cord as instructed and cut the umbilical cord in a hurry.
“Why isn’t she crying?” Tia whimpered as I tried not to panic.
“Come on Logan…… Breath baby,” I whispered trying to clear her airway, gently rubbing her back but she wasn’t moving.
“Kara, what’s happening!” My dad yelled as I began CPR.
“It’s my karma for everything I’ve done!” Tia cried as I tuned her out. This was about Logan right now, not her fucking guilt.
“Breathe, Logan. Come on, breathe for Tee Tee,” I begged blowing air into her tiny mouth.
“Ya’ll please hurry the baby’s not beathing,” my dad pleaded as I took two fingers and began compressions counting in my head.
“Logan, mommy loves you. Please……. Just breathe.”
Once again, I blew some air into her tiny lungs. The powerful cry that spilled from her lips, lifted my heart as she wailed, her little face scrunched up as her tiny hands moving against my face.
“That’s it baby girl, breathe,” I cried, wrapping her up in the blanket, before placing her on Tia’s chest.
“My baby…… My Logan,” Tia cried as a momentarily wave of relief washed over me, Logan was ok.
“Ambulance is almost here, you did so good baby,” my dad said as I nodded moving away from my sister and niece.
I felt the walls closing in as I observed her with the baby. That was my dream, and she took it from me.
“Kara, look at her,” Tia whispered as they did skin to skin.
“I see her, she’s beautiful” I whispered as my dad kneeled beside her.
Her tiny face, a mirror image of her daddy’s baby picture that proudly hung up in our home.
I turned away as the EMT’s came in, wiping my tears. I needed to leave, and in a hurry, this was too much.
I turned back around to watch the EMT’s check over my niece. I had to be sure before I left.
“Baby’s vitals are good, and lungs are clear. Now we need to check mom, can someone take the baby for a few minutes,” one of the EMT’s asked as Tia looked at me.
“Take her Kara, she needs her auntie,” she whispered as I shook my head in shock and disbelief.
“Was she serious? She really was trying to manipulate me to hold the baby….
“I can’t and you know why Tia…..” I whispered as she wiped her tears.
“We can put this behind us, please….. Kara, just hold her, please…Just look at her, she needs you in her life,” Tia pleaded as I sick to my stomach at her weak attempt to manipulate me.
I couldn’t do it, I would never be able to look at that tiny little face and not see my husband and my sister’s betrayal.
“She doesn’t need me….She needs her dad, and I hope you allow Roman a chance to be that,” I said looking at my niece.
“Roman?” What are you talkin’ about sweetheart?” my dad asked as I smiled sadly at him.
“I’m sure when everything settles, they will explain it, I just can’t right now.” I whispered, giving him a hug. I was done with it all. I then leaned over and kissed my niece gently on the forehead.
“I love you Logan, always remember that,” I whispered as she opened her eyes and looked directly at me.
“Kara, I’m so sorry,” Tia cried as ignored her and left.
Walking back to my car I felt numb, and I knew nothing would ever be the same again.
----
Roman’s & Kara’s Home
Roman’s POV
“Where the fuck is she?” I muttered pacing the living room. I hadn’t heard from Kara in hours and now I couldn’t get Tia either.
Had Kara heard us on the baby monitor?…God, I hoped not, I wanted to tell her for myself.
“You really fucked everything up, all you had to do was kick her out of your room that night,” I whispered to myself pouring me a shot of brandy.
11 Months ago
“You said you understood Roman and that we would make time for each other,” Kara said as I felt the tension between us building.
“I do, I just didn’t think it would be this hard to be without you,” I said peering through the door at Tia getting into the bottom bunk.
She had come to me after her match and said her ride had left early and asked could she ride with me to the next city.
I saw no harm in it, so I told her sure. I didn’t tell Kara though; I knew they fell in and out too much and I didn’t want to cause no argument.
“Are you still coming to spend the week with me next week?” Kara asked as I smiled.
“Yea, I’m taking the jet after my last house show. Maybe you can show be around up there,” I said as she smiled brightly at me.
“I would love to,” she said with a yawn.
“A’ight I kept you up long enough, go to bed and dream about me,” I said as she blushed.
“I always do, love you,” she whispered as I smiled. “Same here beautiful, and I love you more. Call me after you get outta class in the morning,” I said as we said our goodbyes.
Turning off the light, I went to bed but sometime later I felt the other side of the bed dip beside me. Startled, I turned over and there lying next to me was Tia…..Naked.
“What you doin’ in here Tia?” I asked as she straddled my waist, a strangled moan escaped my lips as her bare pussy rubbed against my dick.
“Giving you what you’ve been missing,” she moaned slowly moving against me as I groaned stilling her hips.
“Don’t do that, you know I’m with Kara.”
“She isn’t here, and I know you need it Roman. I won’t tell, I promise,” she whispered her face mere inches from mine, my heart racing as I saw for the first time how much she really did favor Kara.
“We can’t,” I moaned as she slowly stroked my dick.
“Yes, we can,” she moaned against my lips, placing my dick at her entrance slowly takin it until I was buried to the hilt.
“Fuck, we can’t,” I hissed as she began to bounce slowly with a smirk. “Then stop me,” she moaned, as my eyes closed in pleasure as she bounced.
Giving in, I gripped her hips meeting her thrusts as she screamed.
“Mmm, yes! That’s what I wanted,” she moaned as I willed my eyes open to look at her as she bounced on my dick with a purpose.
“Kara! Fuck!” I moaned as Tia smirked. “Oh…..So, you want me to be Kara, huh?” she asked.
“Tia, this is a mistake, we gotta stop,” I rasped, sitting up as she kissed me again.
“It’s ok….I promise…I’ll be Kara for you…I’ll be whatever you need me to be Roman.” she moaned and in that moment there was no turning back.
And that was the first encounter….On my bus, fantasizing she was Kara as we had sex.
“I’m so fuckin’ stupid,” I growled truly regretting my choices. Picking up my phone, I called Kara with it once again, no answer.
“Kara where you at baby?”
Kara’s POV
With a heavy heart I stared at the home Roman, and I’ve shared as husband and wife for five years. The bus where a lot of his infidelity took place, parked beside the garage made my stomach turn.
Anger radiating off of me, I reached into my bag and pulled out the knife I had brought with me earlier to cut Tia’s cake.
“I decorated this fuckin bus and I picked out this motherfucka,” I quietly hissed to myself, stabbing the tires one by one, leaving one untouched. “Had her slutty ass up in here,” I muttered, failing to reel in my emotions, I was too hurt but I knew I needed to calm down.
“Get it together Kara, calm down and just see if he’s going to tell you,” I muttered giving myself a pep talk.
I put the knife back in my bag, laying it down beside the bus before I went around to the side door. As I went into the kitchen, I spotted him pacing in the living room sipping on a glass of Brandy.
“Nasty son of a bitch,” I muttered, taking a deep breath before I made my way into the living room.
“Kara, I was worried baby, where you been?” Roman asked sitting down his drink as I cleared my throat, walking a little closer to him.
“Um, I was at my parents, then Tia stopped by with Jey,” I said staring a hole through him as was oblivious.
“Oh….Well, you could have returned my calls or texts baby, I thought something had happened. I’m glad you were at your folks though,” he said nervously as I gave him a small smile that didn’t quite reach my eyes.
“I was busy….Tia went into labor, Roman,” I said watching his facial expressions. He looked excited then cleared his throat stopping himself.
This asshole, how could I have been so fuckin’ dumb?”
“Uh, did everything go ok?” he asked, trying to be indifferent as I nodded.
“Well, Tia had a trying afternoon. The ambulance didn’t make it in time, so I had to deliver the baby, but they’re both fine,” I said casually as Roman seemed shocked but happy.
“You….You delivered the baby? That is crazy,” he said as I nodded in agreement.
“Yea, it was crazy..Damn near like I was in the twilight zone,” I said studying his body language, knowing at any moment I was going to fucking snap.
“Wow that’s great, little Logan is here,” he whispered, a small smile etched on his face before he slipped back into his stoic expression.
“Yes, she’s here, so congratulations Roman…..You and my sister have a beautiful, healthy baby girl,” I said calmy as his looked at me as if I had shot him in the heart.
The disbelief on his face as he processed the fact that I knew his secret was something I will never forget.
Taking a deep breath and exhaling, he bent down placing his hands on his knees, he looked sick honestly.
“What’s wrong Roman? You look like you can’t breathe.”
“Kara”
“What you gotta say?…Kara, what!?” I yelled trying to keep my tears at bay, backing away as he reached for me.
“W- Who told you? Was it Tia?” Roman asked as I chuckled at the gall of him.
“You both told me actually,” I said, his eyes widening in realization.
“The bab-……You heard us on the baby monitor.” He stammered, his eyes full of unshed tears.
“Yea, imagine my surprise to find out my husband is not only sleeping with my sister but got her pregnant. Damn, we’re a fucked-up Steve Wilkos episode waiting to happen,” I said, my voice full of sarcasm.
Honestly, it was that or being a hysterical mess, but I was well on my way to losing my shit.
“I’m so sorry Kara, I didn’t mean for this to happen. Please, believe me baby,” Roman pleaded as I felt my heart breaking even more.
“You’re sorry you got caught! Like who are you?!” I cried as he lowered his head in shame.
“Just tell me what I can do to make it right please?” Roman pleaded as I looked at him in disbelief as he sank to his knees pulling me to him, burying his head against my stomach, his arms holding me tight.
“Let me go Roman,” I whimpered trying to unlock his arms from around my waist as he held me tighter.
“No baby, I can’t let you go…Just tell me what you need, I’ll do anything. What do you need me to do?” Roman begged as tears fell from his eyes.
“What do I need you to do?” I sobbed, prying his hands from around my waist.
“Yes, what do you need?…..Please, Just tell me what can I do to help us get through this, I love you.” Roman pleaded holding my hands in his, still on his knees, his remorseful gaze, pulling at my heartstrings but there was no coming back from this…Ever.
“Well, I’ll tell you, Roman…I’ll tell you what you can do for me,” I said as he waited with bated breath, his eyes pleading for forgiveness.
“You can go straight to hell,” I said calmy, snatching my hands away, leaving him in the living room, my mind on autopilot.
“Kara…Kara! Don’t do this,” I heard him plead as I walked into our bedroom ripping the comforter off the bed.
“I don’t want you here!” I shouted as Roman stood at the doorway looking almost scared to come in our bedroom…As he fucking should be.
“Kara, calm down.” Ignoring him, I ripped the fitted sheet off the bed laying it out on the floor. I wanted…No, needed him out of here before I did something I will regret.
“Let’s just talk please, I never meant to hurt you.”
“What is the point? It ain’t nothing else to talk about, you had a baby with my sister!” I exclaimed, grabbing some of his clothes out of the closet, throwing them on top of the sheet.
“I know I fucked up bad, but this can’t be it,” Roman said as I grabbed a couple pair of his shoes throwing them on top of his clothes.
“All these fuckin’ shoes, what you trying to do, start a shoes company? If you put this much effort into this marriage as you do shit like this, we wouldn’t be here now!” I ranted as Roman grabbed my hands.
“I do care about us! I know I hurt you baby, and I know how much you love me-” Roman started as I snatched away, slapping the fuck outta him.
“I obviously don’t know you Roman!” I cried, moving around the room throwing what I could of his on top of the sheet.
“You do know me, I’m your husband! You didn’t do anything wrong baby, I fucked up-” Roman said, his words stopping me in my tracks.
“You don’t think I did anything wrong? Really…Really….Marrying a selfish asshole and believing in him, when he obviously didn’t deserve it!” I shouted.
“Baby-”
“Putting off my MEDICAL SCHOOL plans for you!” I cried, really pissed thinking about the sacrifices I made for our marriage.
“Aye, I didn’t make you leave school in Boston,” he said pissing me off even more.
“Nah, you right you…I did that because you made it seem like it was an inconvenience for our marriage, and I wanted to be with my husband and save my marriage.
“I wanted that too!” Roman shouted as I scoffed. “No, you didn’t because you were too busy fucking my sister. That’s why you could never come see me in Boston,” I said as Roman rubbed his temples in frustration.
“Kara, It only happened a couple times and I am so sorry, if I could take it ba-”
“It should have never happened! I screamed, slapping him again, causing him to stagger as he Rubbed the side of his face.
“Just let me explain, please, I love you,” he whispered taking me in his arms, grasping my chin, trying to get me to look at him.
“I DON’T BELIEVE YOU!!.............And I never will again,” I whimpered, snatching away from Roman.
“You don’t mean that Kara.”
Ignoring him, I tied the ends of the sheets together, making a makeshift suitcase, throwing it over my shoulder, and walked out of our bedroom. “Kara, don't do anything rash," Roman said as I made my way through the house, the makeshift suitcase thrown over my shoulder, only stopping to pick up his bottle of Brandy, and lighter before storming out the house.
The look of shock on his face as he saw the flattened tires on the bus was almost comical.
“Too late, I already did,” I said pointing at the flat tires as he sighed.
“Look, I don’t care about the tires, Let’s just go back in the house. I just wanna make sure you’re ok and then I’ll leave Kara.”
“Oh…You wanna make sure I’m ok? Well……Let’s see, in the course of a damn day I’ve lost my sister who wasn’t much of a sister to begin with anyway, my husband and my pride,” I said as Roman stepped closer to me.
“Baby, you ain’t lost your sister or me.”
“Don’t!……Don’t patronize me!" I yelled, throwing his clothes in the middle of the driveway, and dousing them with the bottle of Brandy, before going back over to my bag, pulling out a can of spray paint.
“What you doin’ wit that Kara?” Roman asked as I scoffed at him.
“I helped design this fuckin’ bus, and you out here fuckin’ dat bitch in it! You got me fucked up!” I yelled spray-painting the words “Adulterer" and "cheater” across the side.
“You takin’ it too far, Kara! First the tires, and now this!” Roman yelled finally snapping, grabbing the can from me as I pushed him away.
“Oh, I ain’t took it far enough, Roman," I said reaching in my pocket, igniting his clothes and shoes on fire with his own lighter.
“Got Damn it, now that’s it!..Let’s go in the house before somebody calls the police!” Roman yelled, trying to carry me back in the house as I fought against him.
“Put me down! Put me down Roman, I hate you!” I screamed as he continued to carry me towards the house.
“Will you calm the fuck down!”
Jey’s POV
“Uce, what you gon do?” Jimmy asked as we drove towards roman’s house.
“I want some answers,” I said as my twin brother tried to talk me in to going back to his house.
“I just think you need to calm down first. I don’t need you doing anything that you may regret.”
“They played me, Uce…Like really planned all dat shit,” I said in disbelief as Jimmy turned off the highway.
“I don’t see Roman doing that. I think he just got caught up in not wanting to lose Kara, so he kept quiet,” Jimmy said as I rolled my eyes.
“He still shoulda’ told me what was up. I been at doctor appointments, ultrasounds, getting attached to a baby that ain’t even mine!” I hissed.
“I know that, but can we just go over there tomorrow. I know Kara and Roman have a lot to talk about.”
“She ain’t deserve this, big Uce didn’t have to do her like dat,” I said remembering the pain in her eyes as she confronted Tia.
“Have you tried calling her?” Jimmy asked as I shook my head. “Another reason I wanna check on her, I need to lay eyes on her and make sure she good,” I said as Jimmy sighed in defeat.
“A’ight you know I’m wit you. Just don’t do nothing that could send our asses to jail,” Jimmy warned.
“I’ll try but I ain’t making no promises…..Plus, who would call the cops he ain’t got no neighbors for miles.” I said noticing smoke as we neared their house.
“What the hell?..... Is that them?!”Jimmy yelled as I jumped outta the car before he could put it in park, running toward Roman who had a struggling Kara in his arms.
“Aye, let her go!” I yelled, grabbing Roman and making him release Kara in the process as he turned to face me. All I saw was red, and swung connecting with his Jaw.
I saw Jimmy out the corner of my eye reach for Kara, moving her out of the way as I tackled Roman to the ground punching him over and over in the face.
“Fight back!” I yelled releasing my frustration as Roman hit me with an uppercut pushin’ me off of him as I stood up and kicked him in the ribs.
“Get yo’ ass up! I ain’t done!”
“I ain’t tryin’ to fight you, Uce!” Roman yelled as I kicked him one last time before Jimmy grabbed me.
“That’s enough, Uce, let him up,” Jimmy said as Roman coughed struggling to get up, wiping the blood from his mouth.
Kara’s POV
Good, somebody beat his ass….He deserved it.
“I never mean for this shit to happen,” roman said as Jey struggled against Jimmy.
“Why didn’t you tell me? You let her play me!” Jey hissed as Roman looked at me.
“What you lookin’ at me for, you had that shit coming.”
“I didn’t know how to tell ya’ll and I didn’t want to lose you, Kara,” Roman whispered as I turned to walk away, not wanting to even look at him anymore.
“Oh, so now you just gon’ walk away after calling Jey over here to attack me,” Roman accused as I stilled in my steps.
“Kara, ain’t called me, I came to check on her,” Jey said as Roman laughed.
“Of course you did, you just ready to make a move on her,” Roman said as I heard Jey snarl.
“Nah, that’s some shit you would do…I mean you did fuck her sister, didn’t you?” Jey said as I winced at his words.
“I said I was sorry, and ya’ll won’t even give me a chance to explain. Between you attackin’ me, Kara destroying and burnin’ my sh-”
“You deserved it and you should be happy that’s all I did!….. But does me doing that really hurt you, Roman?” I asked walking back towards him.
“Kara-”
“The bus…..Your clothes …. Your shoes….It’s just stuff, Roman……Stuff that you replace or fix with the snap of your fingers, whenever you feel like it.” I said sadly truly trying to get him to understand the damage he has casued.
“Just look at her, Uce. Give her some space,” Jimmy said as Roman sighed in defeat.
“Fine, I’ll leave for now…. But I’m not letting you go Kara,” Roman said as I turned and walked back into the house, not saying another word.
Roman’s POV
I’ll never forget the look on her face …I didn’t know her anymore and I caused the hurt and change in her. Looking at the bus and torched clothes, I knew I deserved it.
Thankfully, Jimmy was attempting to put out the fire with the hose as I looked at Jey.
“Damn, she torched dat shit,” Jimmy said continuing to douse the fire with the water as Jey looked me up and down before heading toward the house.
“Where the fuck you goin’?” I asked, more angry with myself, than Jey. The thought of him comforting her, knowing deep down how he really feels about her has me on edge.
He didn’t respond to my question; he only shook his head continuing to walk towards my house.
“Don’t get too comfortable Jey…… Kara’s still my wife and I ain’t letting her go without a fight.” I warned as Jey scoffed, still refusing to turn around and look at me.
“Shouldn’t you be at the hospital taking care of your new family?” Jey said walking in the house and slamming the door.
“You good to drive, Uce?” Jimmy asked as I nodded.
“Yea, I’m going to see my daughter, and then I’ll be back.” I said making my intentions very clear.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Kara needs some space,” Jimmy said as looked at the bus.
“Oh, I’mma give her all the space she needs…. I’m gon' just crash on the bus until we go back on the road. I'll call the company tomorrow to get everything fixed," I said as Jimmy sighed.
“Uce, I don't think staying on the bus is a good idea…Just grab a room or go to your folks.”
“I can’t uce, this is my home and my wife is in there…….I ain’t going nowhere, this is where I belong,” I said getting in my truck.
“A’ight, you just ain’t gon’ rest until she light dat damn bus on fire wit yo dumbass in it.”
“It’s just a chance I gotta take….. I can’t lose her.”
She’ll forgive me… I have to believe that, we’ve been through too much.
Jey’s POV
As soon as I went in the house I saw Kara sitting on the couch in a daze. The look of hurt adorning her beautiful face made me want to go back out there and whoop his ass again.
Hearing Roman speed out the driveway, I went to sit beside her.
“He’s gone,” I whispered as she nodded wiping away her tears as I sighed pulling close as she sobbed.
Damn him for doing this to her…. I could take it; I had no emotional ties really to Tia…. only the baby and I didn’t even have that anymore.
“I was outta control…I don’t know what came over me,” Kara whispered as I sighed.
“Your hurt and you have a right to be.”
“I thought I could, but I can’t stay here,” Kara said as I nodded in understanding looking at all their pictures on the wall.
“Kayla, you ain’t got to stay here…. Come home with me,” I offered as we sat in silence for a few minutes, no words spoken as I waited with bated breath for her answer.
“I’ll go with you,” she whispered finally as I sighed in relief, pulling her closer, kissing her gently on the forehead.
The fallout from Roman and Tia’s betrayal was just getting started and I knew it was about to get ugly, but Kara wasn’t going to have to go through this alone…
I’m here and I don’t give a damn who doesn’t like it.
One thing I knew for sure, Tia was gon' have to see Kara and Roman was gon' have to see me...
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Affair Part 2
~ gif not mine credit goes to owner ~
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader, Fem!Reader x ??
Summary: The aftermath of reader telling Bucky she’s divorcing him
Word count: 3157
Warnings: Bucky is a big huge gigantic humongous dumdum. Swearing, if there’s more let me know.
Translation: милая девушка - beautiful girl. ангел - angel.
Masterlist
Part 1
“I filed for divorce” kept playing on his mind for the rest of the night long after she had gone to bed. His phone kept going off nonstop, the messages and missed calls all from Sharon.
He stayed at the home he shared with his wife and children for four hours waiting, hoping his beautiful wife who he betrayed would come back down the stairs and tell him she forgave him.
It never happened.
He left, getting into the car his wife brought him, the same car he fucked his mistress in and went straight to Sharon’s. Knocking on the door he only had to wait for a few minutes before the wooden door came swinging open.
“You finally showed, I’ve been waiting for ages! We need to talk” Sharon stands there, red eyed as if she had been crying.
“She’s divorcing me” Walking past her and looking around the room he’d been in so many time before - double date nights, just seeing his best friend, cheating on his wife with his best friend’s wife.
“He’s divorcing me too” Her voice was happier than his. “Now we can be together, I had to cry in front of Steve pretending I cared. Then you wouldn’t pick up your phone I wa-”
“I don’t want you Sharon. I want Y/n. I want my children and my best friend back. Me and you biggest mistake I have ever made!” Cutting her off.
“You’re joking right? We are so perfect together not me and Steve and especially not you and that bitch!”
“Don’t. Don’t you dare call my wife a bitch” he seethes.
“Don’t act like you care now Bucky where was that caring nature of yours when you was sleeping with me for 8 months? And news flash she’s divorcing you she’s not going to get back with you!”
Having her remind him of the stone cold truth hit him in the gut. Sharon was right, his wife was divorcing him. She was never going to get back together with him.
“I don’t care if she’s divorcing me just don’t call her a bitch.”
“Okay, how about we don’t talk about them two okay? Here’s what I was thinking, I’m getting the house in the divorce so I’ll just sell it and me and you can get an apartment together? We can buy all new furniture and it can be a fresh start for us and oh I’ve already found -“.
As Sharon stands there rambling on he had the urge to ring his wife and tell her she was wrong. Sharon did want him now that they were divorcing, she’s even planned to sell her house so they can get an apartment together. Y/n was wrong about that Sharon and himself couldn’t run off into the sunset and live happily ever after because he stood there with his mistress in front of him and having to hear her rambling off about their new future together.
His wife who he loves more than anything in this world was wrong.
Because it wasn’t Sharon that didn’t want him now their affair was known to their spouses. It was him. He was the one that didn’t want her, he didn’t want the apartment with Sharon, he didn’t want a fresh start with his best friends soon to be ex-wife. No, he wanted his wife back. He wanted a fresh start with Y/n so he can get a second chance of being better. He wanted the love of his life back, and he wanted Steve back - he knew himself that Steve wouldn’t forgive him for his part of her affair.
“-Bucky? Bucky are you even listening to me?” Sharon’s voice cut his inner monologue off.
“Huh? Oh yeah sorry”
“You wasn’t listening was you? It’s okay silly bum I was just talking about an apartment I found the other day, oh Buck it’s beautiful and I honestly think it would be perfect for us” Her voice was hopeful and excited. He found himself comparing her voice to the one belonging to his wife when she found the house that became their home.
“Sharon this isn’t going to work”
“Of course it will, I love you and you love me”
“No Sharon I don’t. I don’t love you, I will always love Y/n”
“No! No you don’t James! You love me!” Sharon screamed at him.
Sighing “Listen Sharon I don’t love you, I never had. I have never been attracted to you-“
“Never been attracted to me? You’re joking right?”
“No”
“You prick!”
“We wouldn’t work anyway Sharon. You cheated on Steve with me and I cheated on Y/n with you. We would always accuse each other, we wouldn’t be happy I can promise you that”
“N-no you wouldn’t cheat on me though!”
“I cheated on my WIFE! You really think I wouldn’t do it to you? I love her for Christ sake, she’s the only person I have ever been attracted to! When I was fucking you I was thinking of her! C’mon Sharon don’t be so stupid, it doesn’t suit you” He’s only now regretting coming over here, at the time he didn’t know where else he could go.
“Yo-you ruined my marriage James” he watched her struggle to breathe for a moment “you ruined my marriage!”
“No I didn’t, you did. You are the one that made a vow to Steve not me. Like how I ruined my marriage with Y/n not you.”
“You-we made love James”
“We fucked. We didn’t make love Sharon” rolling his eyes at her petty attempt at making him change his mind.
“I-don’t-you don’t want me now? But you did earlier? You fucked me in your car, went home and get confronted by your wife, then you come here and tell me you don’t want me anymore? Is that what you’re trying to tell me right now?” Her anger and tears were on full display.
“I’m sorry. I am. It’s just I love Y/n more than anything. I’m going to go; I’ll see you around I guess” he was just about to touch the door handle when her voice stopped him.
“Fuck me one last time. Please James”.
And ever the fool, he did.
~~~
The months after she told him she had filed for divorce she flourished, no more crying herself to sleep, no more fake smiles and no more faking confidence. She was the happiest she had been since she caught her husband fucking a woman that was most definitely not her. Her and Steve’s friendship grew too, they became closer than ever. They were each other’s shoulder to cry on, they supported one another when they needed it.
But then came their divorce to being finalised, and that’s where Y/n struggled.
Nat had forced convinced her to go and see a therapist, Dr Grey was a lovely woman who didn’t care about telling her to stop putting herself down, happily called her stupid when she blamed herself for the affair. Dr Grey - Linda as she told Y/n to call her - became a good friend, a friend she needed and wanted.
In the aftermath of her divorce she became isolated, she didn’t want to see or hear anyone that wasn’t her children. Sam being the best friend that he is, would pick up the kids and take them to school and drop them back off. Nat would go to the shops and sometimes even cook them dinner. She felt like she was causing problems for Nat and Sam because they were spending so much time running around after her that they couldn’t spend any time together.
“Don’t be stupid Y/n. You know me and Sam love you, we are more than happy to help” Nat spoke one night when they were lying in bed together.
“I feel like I’m causing problems and I don’t want you two to argue becau-“
“Y/n stop! You’re not causing problems and we are not arguing, like at all. You know Sam loves them kids of yours, he actually loves taking them to school because and I quote ‘they make me feel cool’” both women chuckle at the red heads husband “so stop милая девушка, we are both here for you, I promise”
She cried herself to sleep most nights, cried for the loss of her marriage - for weeks she would find herself going to play with the ring that use to sit on her fourth finger only for her to look down and only see a fading white tan line. Signing her maiden name not married one took months to engrain as she was just so use to writing Barnes after her name. She would find herself reaching out to the other side of the brand new double sized bed searching for his warmth, always finding it empty, always leaving her feeling alone and cold.
She cried the loss of her friendship with Sharon. They had been friends for nearly three years prior to Sharon introducing her and Bucky to each other. She was the first person Y/n would phone whenever something good and bad happened, she was actually the first person to know Y/n was pregnant with her oldest child - hell it was Sharon that told her she was pregnant as she couldn’t bring herself to look at it. Y/n was always there for Sharon night or day she was there. The pain of her betrayal was almost more unbearable than Bucky’s.
Her mental and physical health took a toll too. Constantly blaming herself for not being enough for him, blaming herself for being tired sometimes to not have sex with him. Blaming herself was so much easier and safer for her than to blame the two people who hurt her. Her weight loss was concerning to Nat and Sam, although she would find herself hungry she just couldn’t stomach anything. Nat cleaned the house whilst Sam took the kids to the park as Y/n had a shower for the first time in nearly a month, she felt like she could conquer the world all because she showered, washed her hair and shaved.
Then she accepted the divorce. She accepted that she was no longer someone’s wife, she even (more dramatically) accepted that she’d be single for the rest of her life. With the help from Linda she accepted that Bucky’s affair was not her fault.
~~~
It had now been two years since they were officially divorced.
Y/n made a friend at work, Peggy. Beautiful, kind and the sweetest person. She had set her up with Steve to help him get himself back out there, they’d been dating for nearly a year. Y/n couldn’t believe how much happier he looked now, she was happy for him truly she was. She believed he deserved it.
Dating for her was, well….
“You’re absolutely glowing ангел” Nat whistled as Y/n walked into the kitchen.
“Stop flirting with me”
“I can’t help it милая девушка”
“Sam come and get your wife!”
“What’s going on?” Sam asks coming to where the women were, placing a kiss on Y/n’s temple then giving Nat a quick kiss.
“Your wife keeps flirting with me”
Wiggling his eyebrows “well things can be arranged”
“Samuel!” Both women scold him but shortly after burst out laughing.
“No but I was telling her that she was glowing” Nat informed.
“You are, you seem happier as well” Sam agreed.
“Well… ikindofmetsomeone”
“What!” Both Sam and Nat shout in unison.
“I met someone..”
“Who?” When? Where? How?” Y/n rolled her eyes at the pair talking in tandem.
“His name is Ari. I literally bumped into after I ran out of the cafe after setting Steve and Peggy up on their date”.
“Is he good to you?”
“Yeah, and he’s great with the kids”
“Wait…he’s met the kids?”
“Yeah it was an accident, James said he couldn’t take the kids because of work and Ari came to pick me up for our date but ended up staying at mine. The kids love him”.
“I can’t wait to meet him!” Nat smiles.
~~~
Bucky hadn’t seen Sharon after he left the next morning, he felt ashamed and guilty for sleeping with her. For some bizarre reason he thought it would be a great idea to go to Nat and Sam’s to talk to Steve.
“Absolutely not. You’re not coming in Buck”
“Please Sam I know he’s here, I jus- I just need to talk to him”
“About what? Jesus Bucky you were having an affair with his wife!”
“I know I just need to apologise” He heard movement behind Sam, when he saw Steve’s pained expression his heart sank.
“I don’t want to hear any apologies. But you will listen to me.” Steve gives Sam a small nod, stepped further out of the doorway. “I have known you since we were kids and not once have I ever not trusted you. Not once have an ever wanted to punch you as much as right now. But.. but I’m not going to, it’s not worth it. You betrayed me man! You knew how much I loved her! And there’s Y/n, you had this perfect woman and you cheated on her!” Slightly shaking his head “you-you had the perfect family and you fucked it up by fucking my wife! I was always jealous of you, did you know that? Sharon never wanted kids so when you told me Y/n was pregnant I was jealous. You two had this perfect relationship whilst me and her were arguing all the time, I was jealous” swallowing hard and taking a deep breath “but you see James as much as I wanted the life you had I would of never and I mean never of done what you have done!”
Bucky stands there with tears rolling down his cheeks, wanting to say something but the words just wouldn’t come out.
“You know when Y/n told me about the affair she couldn’t stop apologising, couldn’t stop crying, she even puked up. I had to calm your wife down trying to reassure her that what you did wasn’t her fault! And where were you huh? Screwing my wife!” Chuckling lightly to himself. “Me and Y/n deserve so much better than you two. I really hope it was worth it James because I can’t forgive you. And the fact you have the audacity to come here after spending the night with Sharon just proves how little you care” when he sees Bucky’s eyebrow twitch in confusion he laughs “I really can’t see Y/n giving you a hickey after she’s told your sorry ass she’s divorcing you. Goodbye James it was nice knowing you”.
Y/n was right, he was alone. He had no one in his corner. Going through the divorce process was difficult for him, like she said she wasn’t going to take anything from him. Custody had been split between them evenly as agreed. The part he was struggling with was, only being able to see her at the weekends, their conversations was just about the kids nothing more nothing less.
Then Sam started to do drop offs and pick up leaving him completely crushed. He no longer got to see her even if it was for 10 or if he was really lucky 15 minutes. The friendship he had with Sam and Nat became strained, he didn’t blame them. He did miss them though.
To deal with the loss of his marriage he turned to drinking. Sometimes he would come home from the bar and call out for Y/n, cry when he got no response, 9 out of 10 times he’d fall over and then fall asleep on the floor.
Then that dreaded day came.
Sam had long gone after dropping the kids off, he was in the middle of cooking dinner with his oldest talking about school when he heard a name he hasn’t heard before.
“Sweetheart what was that?”
“Me and Tommy and Billy are now best friends they’re new to school”
“I’m glad but not that bit baby, you said someone helped you with your homework?”
“Oh Ari, he helps me he’s so clever daddy”
“Who’s Ari?”
“Mommy’s new friend. We saw them kissing” giggling when her younger brother pulls a disgusting face.
Of course he knew that it would happen, her dating. Of course she would, she had every right to find happiness and love after he destroyed that for her. Any man would be lucky enough to be with her - she’s funny, beautiful, loving, kind and passionate, the list goes on - he should know, he was once that lucky man before he fucked it all up.
The knowledge of his now ex-wife is dating again broke something inside of him. What? He doesn’t quite know, he shouldn’t have felt anything other than happiness for her.
~~~
It was their son’s birthday party today, the squeals of close to 30 children running around the backyard full of sugar could be heard from down the street, most of their little faces decorated with face paint.
The birthday boy was currently bouncing around on the dinosaur themed bouncy castle - that he just had to have - after laying on the grass for 10 minutes complaining he was ill. Their oldest daughter was walking around showing the adults her butterfly wings that went with the butterfly paint on her face.
Y/n was rushing around making sure everything was okay and running smoothly as well and making sure everyone was having a good time. Bucky thought she looked absolutely breath taking in the white floral dress and white pumps. Her hair was up in two fishtail braids, just like his daughter.
It was the first time in two years that he saw Steve - like Y/n he looked happier, healthier, freer. The woman that was placed snuggly under his arm was beautiful and when Bucky noticed Steve’s hand position when talking to Sam he saw the pregnancy bump, Bucky couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his former best friend finally getting his dream of being a dad.
The cheerful scream pulled his eyes away from Steve to his daughter who was running past him heading towards the sliding glass doors. A tall, well-built man stood at the doorway with a huge smile on his face.
“Ari Ari - look mommy Ari’s here”
“I can see that sweetie-“
He started to struggle to breath, his own daughter was more happier to see this Ari guy than him, the smile that lit up Y/n’s beautiful face crushed him. Then it got worse for him. He watched as his former best friend go up to Ari and greeted him in the same way them two use to great each other.
~~~
Going back to the once lively and warm house that he once called home the realisation of how truly alone Bucky was, was a tough pill for him to swallow.
~ banner credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~
#marvel#bucky barnes#bucky barns x y/n#marvel fanfiction#marvel fic#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes fanfiction#steve rogers#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x you#yn x Nat x Sam#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky x you#bucky barnes cheating#bucky x y/n#bucky barns imagine#james barnes#bucky barnes x female reader#james bucky barnes
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Summers In Pandora 🌸 Day 3 - Angry/Hate Sex
Paring: Lo’ak x Fem!Omatikaya!Reader
Summary: Lo’ak doesn’t like it when you spend time with his brother so he shows you he’s the best you’ll ever have.
Warnings: MDNI 18+, established relationship, mentions of alcohol and drinking, smut, hate fucking, angry sex, rough sex, spitting, explicit language, choking, marking, overstimulation, begging, gagging, orals (m receiving),
Word Count: 3.6K
Index: kelku - house,
Disclaimer: All my characters are aged-up! If this makes you uncomfortable feel free to scroll and don’t interact with my posts.
Main M.list | Event M.list
You struggle to tie your new top around your neck, it was beautifully made using red and yellow beads by your boyfriend. He was always so generous when it came to you, and that wasn’t just with gift giving. Getting into a relationship with Lo’ak was one of the best decisions you ever made, you were so excited when he asked to court you. You love him dearly but of course it’s Lo’ak, he tends to have a knack to piss you off.
It’s not really his fault though, you try so hard to show him you’ll be a good wife to him when you both officially mate. And you know he is aware you’ll treat him with love and respect when it happens, what sets you off is the way every woman in this clan wants to climb on his cock.
In the past few months you’ve grown quite close with Lo’ak’s family, hanging out and having dinner with them daily. They have grown to become like your family. Tonight, there will be another clan celebration, as much as you love your clan wholeheartedly, you hate seeing girls trip over their feet to be close to your man knowing that he was courting you. You are so tired of them getting in your way constantly, you can’t even kiss him without getting side eyed by the next bitch.
You decided to get ready with Kiri at her family kelku and leave from there, but when you arrived everyone was at the house but Lo’ak was nowhere to be seen. You didn’t think too much off it as everyone was finishing up either attire for the party. Everyone looked ethereal as they should as the leading family, sometimes you wonder how you got so lucky to join it.
Kiri stepped out to help her mother with some last-minute health paste which left you with everyone else in the kelku. Neytiri had asked you so kindly to get Tuk ready while she was gone so she wouldn’t be rushing and you couldn’t say no. You styled her hair pretty and helped her knot her clothes properly and she ran out of the room excitedly to show her big brother and father who were seated in the common area.
When you turned around and she disappeared you go back to struggling with your top and not getting anywhere. You keep ducking your head out to curtain to see if either Kiri, Neytiri or Lo’ak comes in but instead Jake and Tuk leave. So now you stand helplessly in the house with Neteyam.
He has always been a sweet big brother to you, always defending you and protecting you when he sees necessary. The only reason he hesitates to ask him for help is because Lo’ak hates it when you have to ask or depend on Neteyam for anything instead of him. But at this moment you don’t have a choice. You loosely tie your loincloth on your hips not finished with your body jewelry and stuck your head out the room. Neteyam sits with a tablet in his hands scrolling through something you can’t make out from here, you glance around to see if there was anyone else before you call out to him, “Hey, nete” Neteyam’s head snaps to your voice and chuckles at your floating head, “Yea?” it made you smile how quickly he was ready to drop what he was doing, “I need help, come here” you duck your head back into the room and make sure to hold the top covering your body properly before he walked in.
When he entered, he stood at the doorway looking at you in the mirror reflection, “Hm?”
“I need help to tie my top, my fingers are slipping I don’t know why today of all days I can’t tie a knot” you giggle. Neteyam laughs at you and walks up behind you pushing your hair over your shoulder, you watch his hands disappear behind your back grazing your skin to tie the knot. It feels a little more intimate than usual but you chalk it up to Lo’ak’s opinion of you asking Neteyam for help.
“How long have you been struggling in here you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to finish?” he laughs as he focuses on securing your top. “What do you mean?” you ask him watching his eyes dart to make eyes contact with you through the mirror. “Dad went with Tuk to meet mom and Kiri, Lo’ak is Eywa knows where so he said wait for you until you’re done so we can go to the party.” his explanation makes sense he has always been that kind of gentleman.
“I don’t know where Lo’ak is either and I’m not done I still have a couple things to do so it looks like you’re still waiting” you laugh and he joins in with you giggling about stupid stuff. All of a sudden Lo’ak yanks the curtain open and barges inside catching you and Neteyam in front of the mirror, “Hey baby Kiri said you were- what's going on here?”
You can hear it in his voice, he feels sour Neteyam is in here with you, they always had a good relationship but Lo’ak has a serious sharing problem, he just couldn’t get it past his head that Neteyam respects your relationship, he doesn’t want you, and you don’t want him.
“Nothing baby bro, I’m helping your girlfriend tie her top.” Lo’ak notes the loosely tied loincloth around your hips, you could see the gears turning in his head, he must think something happened between you while he wasn’t here, speaking off, where was he?
“No one else was here and I wanted to finish getting ready” you voice spoke up, “And where were you? I thought you’d be here when I got here” you look at him in the mirror as Neteyam finished securing your top and stepped away from you looking at Lo’ak.
Neteyam is also well aware Lo’ak doesn’t like it when he is around you, it honestly amused him how much you apologize to him about Lo’ak’s behavior in those matters. “I was busy, and I think she’s good now bro don’t need to wait anymore I’ll Walk her to the party.” Lo’ak said to Neteyam.
Neteyam left the room after sending you a quick goodbye and you turn to Lo’ak, “you don’t have to act like that I just asked for his help, and who were you with?” you ask him as you start fixing your clothes better. “Oh, so you care so much about how I treat him why don’t you let him help you take your clothes off now he can see how sorry you are” he rolls his eyes.
“Lo’ak don’t be like that you know that nothing happened and if you were here, I wouldn’t have had to ask him in the first place” you know the argument is brewing, he’s gonna say something he doesn’t mean much like he just did and you’re both gonna be at that party glaring at each other instead of dancing on him, “And where were you, Lo? What were you so busy with?” you turn to face him now one hand on your hip as you wait for him to respond.
“I was helping out a friend, I just ran a little late.”
“Who?”
He sighed he knew you were gonna take this in the wrong way but he was honest anyways, “Cilia, she asked me to restring her bow a couple days ago, today was the only day I had some time” your brow furrowed at his response, “Cilia? That girl you flashed you at the river a week ago? The one who is constantly trying to bend over your lap? You went into her kelku willingly?” your voice raised with every question.
“Why are you always on my case about this sluttly girls? It's not my fault they want me-”
“No Lo’ak but it is your fault when you entertain them, how many times must I explain this to you?”
“I don’t know what more you want from me. Ever since we’ve been together, I never crawled into bed with any of them. You on the other hand always wait for me to turn my back so you have a reason to run to my fucking brother”
“I’m sorry, hold up. Don’t let me misunderstand, are you telling me I’m in some kind of secret relationship with your brother?”
“Well, are you? I mean come on your basically asking for it tying your loincloth like that while he was in here? It just sat on your hips waiting for a light breeze to blow it off”
“Oh, fuck you Lo’ak, how can you even accuse me of something like this, you're such a dick” you storm out of the room walking to the celebration by yourself. You know he is right behind you; you can hear him walking behind you but you make no effort to slow your pace or even turn to talk to him.
When you made it to the party your branched off going in different directions, you walking over to the drinks table and he went somewhere else. Kiri came up to you while you were pouring yourself a drink and asked why you were looking so pissed. You explained what Lo’ak did and how you two argued and no surprise she understands your issue with it. It seems only Lo’ak has his head up his ass.
You start to feel the music a bit and sway your hips from side to side, Lo’ak was nowhere in sight even though you were fully ready to forgive him and dance like you originally planned. But it seems that asshole has other plans, you walk through the crowd politely greeting people who tried talking to you until you spotted Lo’ak across the clearing. He sits next to Cilia a little to closely laughing at some stupid joke she just said.
Why is he doing this to you? Why is he torturing you like this? He knows you don’t like her; he is well aware you would throw her ass off a cliff if you could and right now you feel like you might. Your eyes dart to everyone else sitting around them. Spider making small talk with a na’vi girl. Tuk runs circles around the fire with her friends and Neteyam has a girl pressed up against a nearby tree looking like he’s ready to eat her.
You felt bad for what you were about to do, you know it will only add fuel to the fire but Lo’ak fucking deserves it right now, he has done nothing but be mean to you and ignore your wishes you’ve had enough. You prance your way over to Neteyam tapping on his shoulder to get his attention away from the girl.
He doesn’t seem too happy about being interrupted but his face softens when he sees yours, and not only that but your glassy eyes make him concerned, you look like a sad baby kitten. He never liked when you cried, no matter who’s fault it was. “Hey, hey what happened?”
You pout your lip out like you were about to sob and glanced at Lo’ak giving him the hint, “I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to interrupt I just don’t know who else to- to-” you sniffle clearly holding in your cries “It’s okay, don’t cry, let’s get you something to eat” he walks you over to the food table that was a couple feet away from Lo’ak, his arm was rested around your shoulder as you dried your tears laughing at his bad jokes in attempt to cheer you up.
He stood with you while you ate, even cleaning the side of your mouth when you got a little messy. On the other hand, Lo’ak was pissed, he could kill a palulukan. Why on this planet is his girl eating off a leaf Neteyam is holding? Why is his girl so close to him, he knows Neteyam can smell her, why is she so close they are smelling each other.
Lo’ak gets up and storms over but to his surprise Neteyam don’t budge this time, “bro back up let me talk to my girl”
“Your girl? Has talking to that girl make you lose braincells? You know y/n doesn’t like her; anyone can tell you that. Why are you over there grinning your teeth at her?”
“Not that it’s any of your fucking business but Jackson asked me to put in a good word”
Neteyam’s angry turning into confusion, “Avatar Jackson? He’s into that bimbo?”
“I know right, her conversations are fucking mind numbing” Lo’ak matched his tone easily, it was not Neteyam he was mad at, it was you, for being dumb. “Now can I talk to my damn girl?” he said in a less angry tone and Neteyam raised his hands in surrender and went back to his girl.
Truthfully you felt kind of bad, you had no idea he was helping out a friend, but it’s too late for you to not be mad because you are sure he is. He doesn’t say a word only pulls you in the direction of his family kelku, he knows no one is home so he can have privacy.
When you entered his private room, you turn to face him watching him close the curtain shut, “Do you just leave home every day thinking about how to piss me off? Seriously, you fucking know I hate it when you do shit like that. And fake cry? What are you a child? Did I take away your fucking lollipop?”
“Well by that logic Cilia is trying to take away my lollipop” you cross your arms over your chest. Lo’ak ran his hands over his face trying to gather up the patience to deal with you, problem is he ran out of it when he caught you getting dresses with another man’s help. He knows he could have ended this whole thing earlier if he told you he was just being a wingman but he was too caught up in the shit you were doing, he didn’t think that far.
“Are you crazy? No one is tryna take anything away from you baby. I’m right here missing a perfectly good party to put your ass back into place”
“Excuse me? Put my ass back into place? She was practically grinding on your lap; you should know by now I don’t fucking like her and I have good fucking reasons to.”
Fair enough you do but still it’s the principle, you tried to one up him with his own brother, what were you planning to do if he didn’t interrupt you? “Do you hear yourself when you talk? Honestly, I don’t see how you could have blown this more out of proportion, I am your man, I’m happy to provide for you for the rest of my life but Eywa knows you have to pat down his fucking attitude.”
“Make me” you voice was stern you aren’t giving up, yet those words make Lo’ak growl.
Lo’ak didn’t say anything more only walking you to you and grabbing you by the throat, he pushed you back until your back hit the wall behind you and you were up on your tippy toes. “You need to fix that fucking mouth.” he growled out.
Lo’ak was towering you even on your toes and pulling your body forward by your neck to meet his lips. His kiss was rough but his lips were soft, he took your bottom lip between his teeth pulling on it before he lets go and comes back in for your lips.
His heated kiss make you blush, you felt the heat run down your neck and you whimper. Your hands move from your side to hold around his neck but with his free hand he grabs them both pinning them on over your head, “Nah no touching” he said meanly.
“Lo’ak I-” he shushed you with a kiss and sucked down the skin of your neck. Lo’ak felt marks on your collarbone and neck admiring the way your skin bruised so easy. He let go of your body completely pushing you down by your shoulders roughly. Your knees hit the floor hard but you didn’t think about the pain to focused on you boyfriend untying his loincloth watching his cock spring out.
Lo’ak brough a hand up to stroke it over your face, you looked so cute crossing your eyes to watch his length before you. “Open” he demanded and when you obeyed, he spit on your tongue, “Don’t swallow, stick your tongue out. You're gonna learn what this fucking mouth is good for”
He stuck his cock down your throat without warning, making you gag on it. He threw his head back as he thrusted back and forth into your tight mouth not giving you a chance to breath. Lo’ak moaned when your throat tightens around him, your mouth felt so good on him. “Gonna let anyone else fuck your mouth like this?” he pulled his cock out for you to answer and he rubs the tip from your lips to your cheeks and back while you answer a strained ‘no’ shaking your head.
Lo’ak rams his cock back into your mouth making your breathing uneven while you gag on him. When he pulls out of your mouth, he pulled you up by your hair and grabbed your bicep pushing you towards his bed. Lo’ak ripped the sting holding your top on behind your neck and snatched your loincloth off. You gasped at his actions but it really wasn’t out of the ordinary for Lo’ak to rip up your clothes. You'd say you quite liked it when he fucked you this rough because he doesn't always do it. Whether it is because he is angry at you or in his rut, Lo’ak still knows how you like it.
He pushing your body up on the bed and got on his knees spreading your legs. He didn’t say much as he tapped his cock on your clit making you jump. Lo’ak didn’t want to say right now but you looked so pretty, tear stains down your cheeks and puffy lips, he did a number on you, and you’re just getting started.
He pushing in harshly not giving you a chance before he’s fucking into you. No matter how much times you take him, you never really get used to the feeling of his stretching you out like that but it always feels heavenly. Lo’ak thrusted into you with a brutal pace, rocking your entire body as he did, “no smart comments now? You all out baby?” you couldn't even answer him you could only moan and whimper under him.
Lo’ak pulled out and flipped you over on all fours, “You wanted to be a little slut huh, prance around my brother knowing I fucking hate it, tell me who do you belong to?” he thrust back into you gathering up your hair into a makeshift ponytail and pulling your head up to stare at the ceiling. He fucked into your cunt using your hair to pull you back into his thrust you mewl feeling his gritty cock stretch you out.
“Y- you Lo, I belong to you-” your cut yourself off with a moan, as he pounds into you. Lo’ak knew you were close, he knew you wanted to release, but did you deserve that? “Wanna cum baby?” he bent over your body to talk to you, “Yes, Yea wanna cum on your cock” your words are jumbled but he understands anyways.
“You sure it’s my cock you wanna cum on? You sure it’s not my brother’s?” you barely process his question before you answer, “No yours- yours" you shout. “I don’t know baby I'm gonna need a little convincing” he said cockily.
“Please Lo- wanna cum so bad please?” he doesn’t respond to your pleads as you muster up the breath to do it again. “Love your cock yawne, not his pleasee” Lo’ak again said nothing to your words, he loved here them but he didn’t want you to know how that just yet. “Lo’ak I’m gonna cum gonna cum!” you were reaching the end of your resolve. You can’t hold this much longer you’re about to burst.
“Lo’ak, Lo’ak, Lo’ak-” your chant his name as if it would change his mind, “Can’t believe you purposefully used him to get me jealous, you get off on watching me get man at Neteyam?” his mistake for saying Neteyam’s name, your cunt gush on his cock unintentionally just as Lo’ak utter his brother’s name and he felt it.
“Oh, I see, you want him so fucking much you’re cuming at the sound of his name now?! Such a fucking slut.” Lo’ak doesn’t let up, he pounds in your cunt making you scream in overstimulation, you beg and beg him to give you a break but he never lets up. You cum three more times in his cock due to it, “yea take it, fucking take my cock, he’ll never be able to fuck you the way I do and you’ll fucking remember that”
Lo’ak bent his head down to your neck and bit you, making you scream out and leaving a nasty purple bruise on your skin, he loves hearing how he makes you scream, gives him a nice since of pride knowing his girl gets off on his cock so well. “Gonna cum in this tight cunt, make you mine for real now, let’s see you flirt with other men.”
Lo’ak jackhammered into your cunt letting his cum shoot deep inside you. You left his cock twitch before you drop down onto his bed sideways with him spooning you form behind. Lo’ak made no move to get up or pull out he simply rubbed along your skin gently as you fell into sleep for the night.
🌸 I hope you all enjoyed reading this one! Ik it learned more towards angry sex than hate sex but I do still like it! Please don’t repost my work on any other app or website!
🌸 Reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated
Taglist:
@rivatar @strongheartneteyam @xylianasblog @delusionalwh6re @nilahsstuff @neteyamsoare @inlovewithpandora @m1tsu-ki @teymars @kylimarz
#SummersInPandora2024#loak fanfiction#lo'ak sully#lo'ak avatar#lo’ak smut#loak sully#lo’ak sully#lo'ak x reader#lo’ak avatar#lo’ak x reader#loak x reader#loak x y/n#atwow loak#loak smut#loak x you#avatar loak#lo’ak x fem!reader#atwow lo’ak#lo’ak x you#lo’ak te suli tsyeyk’itan#lo’ak x y/n
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