#“He'll be down for murder and u can't do shit about it”

[puppetmaster13u]

You know what I need for a DCxDP crossover

Alternate timeline ghost/realms Batman who may or may not have become a god of family adopting the entirety of Amity Park. Like every single liminal or ghost, they're his kids now. Sure they have human parents in the living realm too, but they're all developing cores and need a realms parent too.

[devoted-horror]

May I request a reader that hides behind them when she is overwhelmed or doesn’t wanna deal with people ? For Charles’s lee ray , Vincent Sinclair , the doctors and trickster (seperetly) fluff plz

a/n: it's pretty short sadly but i hope u enjoy it!! <3 anyways have u guys seen jiwoon nd yunjin's upcoming halloween cosmetics.... guys..... guys im down bad for them i fear...

includes: charles lee ray, vincent sinclair, the doctor, and the trickster.

warnings: typical slasher and dbd warnings, mentions of murder, i think it's pretty much just fluff but there might be some undertones of darker stuff?? like very very vague undertones that you'll probably honestly miss but. just stating it, in case.

CHARLES LEE RAY

Charles would, in all honesty, probably tease you for hiding behind him of all people whenever you get overwhelmed. It wouldn't be malicious teasing or anything like that, though he definitely doesn't know when to stop.

In the beginning of your relationship, he probably won't say it, but he likes that you feel safe enough to hide behind him like this.

He'll definitely act annoyed every time you hide behind him, maybe even roll his eyes, but don't let this fool you because he's shielding you away from the rest of the world and keeping you hidden from anyone who may be around.

And if you hide behind him because there's someone around that you're trying to avoid or that you just flat out don't want to deal with at the moment, then trust that Charles will take care of it.

He's not going to immediately resort to murder, so you don't have to necessarily worry about that, but depending on who it is and how they treat you, then yeah.

They may die.

It's an act of romance from him, by the way.

Nothing says 'I love you' quite like killing anyone who inconveniences you in some sort of way. He is a serial killer, after all. How else is he supposed to be romantic?

In all seriousness though, Charles does try to make you feel at ease whenever you find yourself hiding behind him.

He'll crack a few jokes, tell random stories of the past crimes he's committed, anything that'll help you feel less overwhelmed.

VINCENT SINCLAIR

Vincent is the only one here who would truly understand why you hide behind him, I think. He knows what it's like to be overwhelmed, wanting to hide away from everyone. It's why he spends most of his time in the basement.

He would never judge you for this, like... at all. He actively encourages you to do it, if anything else, because he wants you to do whatever makes you comfortable.

If he can help you feel less overwhelmed, then he will. If somebody has been bothering you enough to make you feel this way, then trust that he will not hesitate to step in.

Tourist, Bo, Lester, it doesn't matter. You're his top priority more often than not these days.

Shit, he'll put himself in time out if he somehow contributes to making you feel this way. He'd feel genuinely awful if he made you feel overwhelmed, honestly.

When he's overwhelmed, he finds that absently drawing helps to calm him down. He knows that not everyone finds comfort in the same thing, but he'll definitely offer you a pencil and paper if he thinks it might help.

But if you'd rather just make yourself comfortable behind him, then he doesn't mind. He'll continue whatever he was doing with no issue.

Though... if he's in the middle of turning someone into a wax figure, he'd rather you not be around during that. And you obviously can't hide behind him when there are tourists in town, because like... obviously.

But other than that, you're free to use him as a little shield from the world whenever you need.

It makes his heart feel warm inside knowing you feel comfortable enough around him to go to him whenever you feel like this. It makes him feel like he's doing a good job at this whole dating thing.

THE DOCTOR

Herman is a bit of an enigma here because while I don't necessarily think he'd mind you hiding behind him like this whenever you're overwhelmed, he's also not the nicest person to know.

Lover or not, he isn't the type to be nice when it comes to words. He's a genius and views himself as better than everyone else, and you aren't an exception.

Personally, he's never felt overwhelmed. Like... never. He had everything he wanted growing up, and he truly never believes he's in the wrong, even if he is, so he's never had that sort of anxiety either. The only time he's ever felt anxious was when he knocked his classmate out for the first time, he thinks.

So, while he doesn't understand it on an emotional level, Herman does understand it on a scientific level. A part of him can't help but want to pick you apart and study your brain for somehow finding comfort in hiding behind him, but he doesn't.

Herman loves you. At least, he thinks this is love. A considerable amount of tolerance, if not.

This habit of yours is just one of the many things he's not sure he'll ever truly understand when it comes to you. It's... frustrating, just a bit. You're an enigma to him. An anomaly.

He's never been a big fan of anomalies. Yet here you are, hiding behind him as if he were someone who would protect you from harm.

He'd destroy the minds of the many for you, he thinks.

Being who he is, both before and after the fog, you're bound to be safe if you stick by him.

So, while Herman doesn't understand why you feel safe around him, or why he doesn't mind your behavior, he certainly isn't going to make you stop.

THE TRICKSTER

Jiwoon is... not really gonna understand why you hide behind him whenever you're overwhelmed. He thrives under attention, positive or negative, so he can't wrap his mind around how you get overwhelmed by it.

But he most thrives under your attention, so having you hide behind him every time you're overwhelmed or done with people in general really just... feeds into his ego.

So if this is before the fog, it's definitely not something you can do in public.

Jiwoon doesn't care, he really doesn't, but as an idol, dating is like... not really acceptable in the industry, and Yunjin would literally have his ass if he was caught being lovey-dovey with someone and it wasn't part of a publicity stunt of some sort.

He does understand what it's like not wanting to deal with people though, even if he does thrive under their attention. He literally killed a sasaeng because they were stalking him, so like...

I don't think he'd explicitly offer to kill someone for you if they put you in a state of being overwhelmed, mostly because he keeps his whole killer business a secret but, I mean, he would kill for you.

The moment he finds out who has you feeling so overwhelmed, be it by you telling him yourself or by other means, they will be dealt with.

And when the person who has been stressing you out so much lately is suddenly found murdered, Jiwoon is right there to help you deal with the overwhelming shock that may come with the situation.

Not long after the gruesome murder, The Trickster releases a love song with haunting background vocals. Fans and critics alike are trying to figure out who the mysterious voice is, but no dice.

No matter, fog or not, he will be a loving boyfriend and let you hide behind him however you please. Your attention, more often than not, is one of the only things that matter to him.

[kuni-is-daddy]

Sub Fusiguro's Hcs

MINORS DO. NOT. INTERACT.❌❌❌

omfg yall really gassed me up and gave me 10+ notes on my gojo hcs TYSM. This'll include Megumi and toji's FINE ASS omg.. im srry but jjk men 😩👑

This is a mix of female and male reader!

MEGUMI MEGUMI. 👑👑

Remember when gojo said "be greedier" megumi: I took that personally

He trys to keep how horny he'd be for you to himself but whenever you make him feel good it's burned into his mind.

The way you'd suck his cock and ride him so passionately. Constantly milking him over and over again until he's begging you to stop or he'll break but it just feels too good.

"oh.. fuck.. y/n please..please.. fuck me just like that...fuck just like that don't stop baby. Don't stop"

Megumi would eat you out passionately and slowly until you ask for him to speed up. He'd constantly ask if your enjoying it and live to serve you. Wanna cum on his face? Megumis already on bed waiting for you to sit on his face.

Sub megumi who wants you to suffocate him in your thighs.

Sub megumi playing with your nipples and obediently licking your tits as you want him too.

Sub megumi finding a spot during missions with Nobara and yuji to summon the demon dogs to take over, then jerk off silently after you sent a sexy picture of yourself.

"ah..yuji.. where did fushiguro kun run off too? Ugh.... How the hell am I gonna get scouted in Tokyo if he keeps running off and having gojo make us look for him all day😩😭I'm gonna beat him to a fuckin pulp. " - nobara

Sub megumi secretly wanting to have a 3 some with you and gojo fucking him until he can't stop cumming.

Sub megumi wanting to stuff your cock down his throat while gojo fucks him from behind

Sub megumi letting you fuck him in his sleep, checking his phone to see a picture of his sleeping face covered in your cum. (He'd jerk off to that picture later)

Toji fushiguro

So needy. It doesn't matter if your busy, tired or not even in the mood. Toji wants you on his body. He craves you and your touch like it's everything.

At work? He'll send a video of him jerking off and moaning for you. It'll be a total tease. Toji would flex his abs and muscles in his usual black shirt and naked underneath while stuffing a shirt or even other clothing of yours that reminds him or has your sent against his nose and rub his cock for you

"Shi-shit..y/n, doll..I'm so close. I need your help bby. Come home soon f' me~

I feel like Dom or sub toji would be addicted to you regardless. Something about you just drags him in more then money does in exchange for Killing.

Sub toji driving you to your favorite cafe or spot to eat at as a way to convince you to let him drive to the nearest parking lot or alley way and let you use his body

Sub toji sucking your cock while your doing work over the desk at home

Sub toji moaning loudly as you fuck him in a mating press.

"Mnm~ want your kids daddy~ oh fuck yes. Harder. Fuck me harder~"

Sub toji pulling over and carrying you to the backseat bridal style even if you punch at him or tell him to stop. Then eating you out like it's his last meal. What r u gonna do? Break him? Fuck him rough? Not let him cum? Great. Even better. Toji loves that.

He'd be your little brat even in public. He'd have no shame while you eat out with your friends as he sits next to you and touches you under the table.

Sub toji toying with a sorcerer in a cat and mouse chase. Getting turned on by their fear. The way they pant and breath hard as your tall and sexyy ass s/o(or whatever he is to you) is about to murder them. while he gets a text message

Y/N(Doll❤️): Come home now. I need you.

Sub toji quickly turning his attention and lust towards you. Wondering and now getting turned on by what you could ever need him for. How would you use him.

The poor sorcerer you didn't know he's now chasing down ruthlessly and not just murdering them, but everyone and everything in his way including curses to get to you💀💀. Dam you we're addicting.

IDK MUCH ABOUT TSUMIKI(Megumi's sis) :((

Sub TSUMIKI asking to 69 whenever you have the time. She loves your smooth tongue against her wet pussy. She'd bounce on your cock/strap pleasing to cum again over and over. Overstimulate her like a good girl until she cry's.

[n3onstarss]

TMNT boys x terror bird yokai reader

reader can kinda shift between fully anthro yokai and more feral looking, for context reasons

Raphael

Ohhhh he's TOTALLY down bad. down horrendous, even

like, this man is the definition of a brawler on the team, but having a S/O who can take care of themselves in a fight

let alone a S/O who's species is made for hunting/fighting

just turns him to absolutely putty

especially if you have a softer side outside of fighting villains

cause, this person he loves can somehow be rage fueled and the most loving person ever?? at the drop of a dime? teach him your ways. /lh

definitely runs his hands through your feathers when y'all cuddle

the texture is nice and he's borderline never felt real feathers before, besides the down that rained from broken pillows after pillow fights-

will be small spoon if you're even a little taller than him, there's no fighting it. half an inch height difference? less? who cares. he's small spoon, period.

which is nice cause it proves he trusts you enough to be vulnerable and let you be the protector for once

lots of beak kisses and beak-to-beak boops

at first he's afraid to cuddle and crush you, but eventually you both take turns flopping onto each other and every opportunity. spikes and beaks be damned, you're GETTING those cuddles and so is he

Leonardo

bro BEGS you to let him ride on your back into battle

just once!

if you give in, you never hear the end of his exaggerated stories

Buddy doesn't even spoon

he just flops on top of you and passes out

down horrendous, period.

tall (probably-), strong AND he somehow bagged you? he firmly believes he peaked /lh

seeing you in battle? badass.

constantly bragging about you to Hueso, who doesn't believe you exist for a long time

until you suddenly roll up to Run of the Mill for pizza night

Leo definitely draws all over you if you let him, cloaking brooch or not

honestly doesn't care for the cloaking brooch, just loves seeing you however you prefer

he's just gonna.. hang off you sometimes. arm around your neck and make you support his full weight. eventually he learns he can just flop across your back whenever you're less anthro and chill and bam, new fav resting place

Donatello

this man can't decide if he wants to bite you, study you under a microscope or just stare at you forever u til he magically figures it out (affectionate)

what is he trying to figure out?

good question.

definitely makes you tech if you let him

and if not? makes little metal armor bits for the tip of your beak and claws, sharp and strong to help in battle

you're probably one of three people who can break him from his spirals

a single disapproving gaze and he is running to actually take care of himself for the first time in days.

i mean, gave you ever seen a shoebill stork mad?? now imagine that with a giant, carnivorous murder bird

little spoon but face to face, only way he accepts cuddles for the LONGEST time

absolutely tries to french braid your feathers to the point it becomes a stim when you're both just there, you're gonna end up with braided racing stripes from eye to tail someday

man you GOTTA just pick him up and hold him at some point. at first he'll dangle like a soggy kitten but after a while he mellows out and gets comfy.

make sure to check it's okay first, because he might fall asleep or it might be a no touch day, you'll never know until you know

Michelangelo

hhhhhhhhhhh bird

that's like the one thought in his head 40% of the time during battles

can't really process that that's.. y'know, his S/O, fighting villains and tearing shit up at first

DYEING FEATHERS HELLO

buys hair dye and prays it works on feathers, and it does! maybe. he uses the fast wash out stuff so he can do it again sooner

if a feather falls out and is given to him? (in passing or as courting) he makes a necklace out of them. he's got a little golden chain with a big ass feather on it that he wears sometimes for 'good luck'

cuddling is big, he's the smallest of the brothers and you're so fucking tall, he's gotta be touching you nearly constantly

if you're touch adverse he'll try not to, but sometimes he slips and grabs your hands or jumps into your wings Scooby Doo style

brags about you to Draxum. who, like Hueso, doesn't believe your real until he meets you at a family dinner.

He's a little cautious at first, worried about scaring you off or offending you, but once he learns you really don't care he uses you as a personal jungle gym. almost always perched on you somehow

[yottabites]

What do you guys think about your bugs? Or in crosses and obsidians instance insect and Cleo.

Yotta gave a hesitant smile, "He's a good guy, a good worker, and all around really well meaning. He really really cares a lot about Mal and is a great friend to him, and I'm really glad Mal has someone like him backing him up. It's reassuring. It makes me happy knowing Mal has him if I'm not around to keep him safe." His smile faltered. " But.... To be honest.... Sometimes it's like he cares about Mal so much that.. it makes him a really uncaring person towards other people? Kind of like... He'd put Mal first, even if it meant stepping over anyone else. That's kinda harsh, and it's not bad to put Mal first at all, but... "

He sighed, "A nicer way of saying this is that he forgets he's not the only one who cares about Mal; Bug isn't the only person in Mals life who'd do anything for him. He won't tell me anything about Mal and the shit happening to him until, like, fucking weeks later? The hell? My fucking boyfr— u-uh, friend? Kinda messed up, you know. And he'll cause trouble and talk back to admins when that'll affect me and get my ass in trouble, as a handler, and it'll be my job to get him out of it. And just... "

"I don't know. Like I said, he's well meaning, but... I think he's the only one where it makes it hard to mix the line between coworker and friend— if he even sees me as a friend, it doesn't really feel like it. And, I just... As a handler, I try so hard to be understanding and get him out of trouble when I should be punishing him, and I really hate pulling the handler card when I want to approach situations as an understanding friend, but... I don't know. If nothing changes, it's just what I'll have to resort to. I care about Mal so fucking much, I could ignore everything else, but fucking Mal? Are you serious? Weeks later?"

He took a deep inhale, shaking his head. "But, yeah. He's still a good guy, I genuinely believe it and I know he is, he just.. hasn't really been all that great to me. I don't know if I could call him my friend anymore."

".... Damn." Matrix blinked. "Anyways, Hornet's alright," he shrugged. "Could stand to be down with more murder."

Hellbyte snorts, "Ehhhhhhh...... Not as much of an ass like other people, I guess. Didn't say shit about said people being an ass until I stood up for myself, though. I guess as long as he's not a pain in the ass to work with, I can't complain. Doesn't mean I like him, but it means I can tolerate him, and that's good enough. I guess he's been a lil nicer ever since I blew up, but... I dunno. Still unsure about him."

Cross rolled his eyes and hardly looked up from sharpening his blade, "Gets in the way. A pest."

Obsidian snarled,

"D̴̛̜͇̪̮͂͋̋̅̑̈ì̸̧̞̰͔̹̪͍̯̞̥̦̳͋̈́́̾͂͒̃͛͌͂̇̎̂̍̓̈́͜ŗ̷͍̺̺̼̊͆̅͛̽̐͋̐̑̆̆͛͝͝t̷̨̛͈̫̺͙̝͔̲͉͕̠͖͉̯̅̂̀̾̋̒̅̀͝͝ ̸̡̢̤̬̩̟̼̼͈͇͎̰̗̻̯̮̀̈́͊̍͑̅̌̎̿͘͝b̶̡̡̧̧͎͕͇͔͙̝͇͔̜̥̈e̸̟͉̥̳̪͍̼̙̞̅́͆̆̎̈̕͜n̷̢̯̘̯̪̗͔͕̦͉͒̈́͗̐͋̐͌̓͌͌͊̃̌̄͘͝ȩ̷̡͈̫̥̹̰̩̻̬̼̟̰͔̻̅͛̅̅̈́͌̍͑̓̿̂ͅa̵̧̢̧̮̗̻̥̮̣͖͇͍͔̦̼̲͐̊͗̂̏̔̓̄̂̓͑̾̚t̵̩̻͓̋̈́͛̄͆͐̑͊̍̀̂͂̋̚h̶̨̡̝̰̞̽̊̍̅̅̐̄́̎̑͗͌̊͘ͅ ̵̡͓͎̝̮̖̤͓̘̣̓̿͂m̷̨͇͋̄y̶̢̰͓̱̞̺̮̺̺̝̞͓͎̯͂̊͋̕̚ ̵̱̘̬̚f̶̼̮̻̄̃̃̿̈́̊́̂̄̇̃̓͐̏̂͘e̵̯͍̹̙̙͍̥͌̆̐̿̅͊͂̽̎͘e̷̡̛̜̩͓̦̬̫͖̬̤̓̽̂̈͗̄̌̏̏̏̈́̌̔̏͘͝ͅţ̵͉̬̫̞̬̜͙̦̾̂̋̉ ̴̳̻͓̰̱̦̻͍̘̗̼̒͛́͌͐̌̋͝͠ͅw̵̧̤̟̣͓̙̪̦̋̂́̆͂̓̓̎̎̓̕̕͝h̷̛̙̬̝̟̜̭̃̇̀̄̅̑̾̈̓̐͛̓͛͑͘è̸̢̨̧͖͙̗̩̫̠̲̺͍̤̟̠̈̕n̵̡̨̩͈͇̲̫̤͎̲͓̊̍͋̿̅̄̀̾́̐ͅ ̴̧͉̳̱̹͖̘̗͉̫̺̥̀͑̓͐̇̒͑͘͘͝͝Į̸̧̫̺̺̺̘͓̳̝̤͐̀̂ ̴̣̹̪̍̐̊̓̄̐͋̑́͑̏̀̈́̚͝ṣ̶̢̨̻̹̦̮͕̠̣̗̹̔̓e̷̻͔̳̼̫̗̘̳̼̱̳͂̂̐̆̽͜͝n̵̡̩̜̮͖̼̘̺̞͎̫̺͑̽̑̓̉̉̐͒̇̚ḑ̴̧̗͖̙̠̣̣̖̄̀̌͝ ̴̣̰̮̥̠̫̼͉͓͓́̔̓̀̂̊̇͑̉̃̒̌̏̚̚͜h̴̡̻̺̖̹͊̔̒͆͐̆͌͆̈́̅͘͘͝í̶̧̙̋̉̆̄̿͑͗́̀̄̆̍̚̚͝m̷̨̝͖̤̬̘͙̲̠͖̭̭̫̭̄́̈̃̌̒͂͂̆̒̾͊ͅͅ ̸̼̙̓́̇̓t̸͔̥͇̲͖̼͉̤́͑̈́̍͐̒̐͒̒̀̀̅͘͜͝o̵̻̗͌̿̚͠ ̵̦̭̰̞̖̜̼͉͖̩̓͂͛́̾̀̇̑̈́ḩ̵̰̜̘̥͓̤͖͉͔̯̈́̎̔͛̈́̓̅̚i̷̡̜̰̹̠̬̞̩̙̟͓̟̺̠̰̪͌̅͌̕s̴̢̛̛̬̤̲̼̦̩͑͆̂͒̈́̏̀̅͛́̓͠" ̷̞̻̹̫̲̭̲̬̲͍͖̳̎̄͆̔̅̀͠g̶̜͇̫͌͑̇̎͆͊͒̅̓̋̏̌̊͘͘r̴̡̾̀̏͝��̨̣̥̠͈à̵̛̳̙̯͗̍̐̍̄͛͛͐̈̽̈̍̽͘v̶̪̰̥̜̺̘̑͑̆̊̓͐̑́͑͊́̚̚e̷͕̓.̵̛̛̛̛̤̋͊̈̌̓͑̇͝͝ ̵̛̣̓̅̈́̌̑̃̊̾͛̿͘͘

[jekyllnahyena]

If you have Ghoag in clone wars where is the rest of 141? I know Price wouldn’t sit around with the clones getting mistreated.

Right, had to think about this one for a bit (fair warning though, I know faaaaar less bout price than I do with the likes of Ghost n Soap and this is a in all a lot more world buildy than anything)

To put it very simple, he's in a military position, marshal commander or general, who looked at the clones and saw a bunch of late teens and early 20s staring back at him, ones that did not choose this, and decided to try his best to have as many survive as humanely possible while trying his best to get this war to end. Same goes for Gaz, just that he'd most definetely be a commander.

Now, to the more long-winded answer to go a bit into the world building thing.

In the end, it boils down to the same thing as with Ghost in sw. They're military, they have no power in the grand scheme of things, they're employed by the government to do their job. They all landed in their position because they are established military because having no soldiers in sw just doesn't make sense. So they basically drafted the lads in for the war to have people there with actual experience, specially in leading military missions. Something that the jedi won't have, not in the way that you'll expect from a military leader that is. I imagine that they were used for the missions that the jedi were unwilling to go for. That is also to say, they don't have to uphold a code/are part of a religious group and have all terrible senses morality in the ways that fighting for money will give, even if you do it in the name of 'The greater good'. I can't imagine the jedi do the missions that the 141 would do.

(there are parts in the jedi that will go down n dirty, yes, but I'm 1) too tired to work that in junction with the idea of the 141 in sw n 2) they're still jedi. The 141 lads are soldiers. There will be a lot of dissonance between these groups and what they're willing to do and how they act. Again, why Ghost is so done with everyone in sw. My dude did not sign up for the space soap opera thx)

Now, to Price. I'd imagine him to be in a higher position by now, he's in his mid 50s I'd say, but I'm not sure if I'm willing to go full general or leave him at marshal commander. From what I understand, my dude seems pretty upstanding, but also very willing to do a lot in the name of the 'greater good'. I'd imagine that he'll try his absolute best for his troops, very willing to tell people to fuck off, protect them to the best of his abilities and all that.

But!

He still does not have any actual power if you think about it.

Look, if the likes of Mace motherfucking Windu does not have it in his power to change up the position of the clones, neither will Price. I rag a lot on Anakin or Obes because there's canonical evidence that they can be terriblly careless with the lives that have been put in there hands but even if they didn't, it practically changes nothing (except make them less of dick waffles thx). You can be as good as a person/military leader as u wanna be, you'll still be leading a slave army. And there aren't in any political position to change that, not unless they're willing to shed blood. Price can say he opposes, even decide to leave the military in the name of his morality, but it doesn't change jack shit.

The ways to help the clones is to get the goddamn government to recognize them as humans and implement the according laws (or honestly just fucking. Blow up the senate. I know what I'm more a fan off). But that would mean that the senate has to recognize that they're using a slave army, which. Won't happen. Not unless u make a major au, which isn't what I'm doing. Ghost in sw is based purely on vibes and very little world building. Order 66 still happens, the tragedy still stands. Stuff is still absolutely terrible and unless I actually work out that the 141 and their respective troops decide to go 'aight, time to murder some politicians', they can't do anything.

So, Price won't stand by by shit happening to his troops and he'd most definetely put a bullet through Krell, yes, but unless I work out an actual story for this au, he won't be the one to change things up.

(I have literally only one idea for Price in sw, which is him meeting Yoda for shits n giggles. Just him sitting opposed the general and grand Master who tells him of the war and that people like him are needed for their experience and skill while Price just kinda stares because did that fucking frog just talk? Did that frog just say he's the jedi grandmaster? Wait, does that make the frog my superior???? Simon, Simon what the fuck is going here?? Who in turn is standing beside his ol captain with the sorta 'pls just end me' vibe that's been his existence for these past few weeks since he became commander and solemnly gives Price a 'welcome to the bullshit I've been dealing with' look)

[mejomonster]

Justice in the dark, ep 7 and 8:

Crying screaming I am fulfilled in life in a way I didn't think I would be. In a month or 2 I suppose I'll feel this way even more. Wow ;-; anyway it's like. It's like Beyond Evil but I know for a fact they're 2 bitches in love. And they have a juicy history of caring too deeply for each other for years which is the cherry on top of this deluxe Sunday and my sweet tooth isn't strong enough but I'm devouring it anyway. Feel absolutely spoiled rotten. Must be what Fei Du feels like when Luo acts Like That. You know. Now not Everyone wants "murder mystery psychological thriller a la Flower of Evil with a core Queer Romance between the leading heros" but that Is an Ideal thing I deeply desire. So I am having a ball. The best time. A better time than I ever thought could be had. It's like if Flower of Evil was gay idk what to tell you. Do you want gay Flower of Evil or do u dislike horror so much u can't do it? Fair enough if you can't but for those of us who DO eat up murder mystery thrillers and have been wanting some bigger queer romances in the mix we already dearly love? Having a phenomenal fucking time. This show IS that kind of story, that kind of genre. It's made (I suppose similar to written) for the people who really do want a fucked up psychological thriller murder mystery to sink deeply into and get terrified and angry and theorize and suspect and not be certain and be on edge wondering Discovering thrilled. With a fucking superb defining bond between the leads (of love <3 yes I'm a mushy sap) to top it all off. Like I said, like Flower of Evil style show with queer leads. It's certainly what I Want in the world. I want 20 to exist 40 60 100 so many we can't even watch them all!!

Anyway now down to tinier specific stuff lol.

The birthday scene just <3. Wrecked Me <3. I needed it to last forever. It reminds me of every specific reason for me that I ship them so much, care about them individually and together so much. Just hit me through the heart and squeezed the whole time. Fei Du in the accident and Luo Wenzhou running worried because it's his fei du in danger and Fei Du will never fucking KNOW Luo wenzhou was so worried, probably called the ambulance and rode with him, all the way up into the doctors visit Fei Du WAS awake for. Then in a very pangzi from dmbj move, Luo Wenzhou laughed. He laughed because Fei Dus dad was in a car accident and the similarity could've scared or traumatized fei du (hell much less couldve - and later Luo notes Fei even jumps from cake so Luo is AWARE his boys on edge). He laughed because it's comforting, warm, safe, no one yelling no one trying to kill him just stupid Luo making his stupid jokes irritating Fei SO much he'll glare and tighten his smile in annoyance and start thinking "I'm gonna kill you Luo Wenzhou shut the FUCK up i am GOING to kill you" so Fei Du will stop worrying. A pangzi from dmbj move to make himself the punching bag and tell stupid jokes to make a deadly situation seem safe and something they're in total control of and therefore their loved one Fei Du doesn't need to worry. And of course on another level it's Luo doing everything he can to lessen his own short term fear - he was so scared fei would be like feis dad in a car accident. So he's laughing in fucking relief, his boy is just slightly injured. He's laughing to shake off the panic he had earlier, to move on past it and drag Fei into moving on too. It's so sweet. And Fei Dus internal monologue with every annoying cunt think Luo Wenzhou says that day is surely "I'm going to KILL you old man shut the FUCK up I'm gonna kill you" but in that way that's like no fei won't kill him ToT he'll just shout it at him and give him stares that are especially for King of Annoyance Luo on this earth.

The sell him off ToT. Fei Du playing back. Them both being little shits Just absolute bastards to each other. I love that stage of their enemies constantly Snipping to THlS finding a way to do both argue in Feis safe zone and actually get along. Fei jumping at the cake and it being so raw. Because fei du probably doesn't show he gets frightened to other people but Luo sees it. He also lets Luo surprise him in a way he lets few surprise him. It's just all so sweet. And Luo again in a very pangzi from dmbj way makes a light joke of Feis response revealing how terrified he often is, to smooth it over so Fei Can relax quickly again. Luo Wenzhou is home to Fei Du, and rhis whole sequence was like Fei Du the rebellious teen coming come again after a journey out of the nest growing up (which I suppose it kind of was). It was fei du being taken home, being welcomed so he KNOWS he's allowed back into this. That when Luo got mad at him as a teen, he didn't mean to scare Fei away, to isolate Fei, and that Fei is welcome to belong here and live here like when he was younger. That this entire place belongs to Fei Du even when Tao Ran isn't here to "let" him into Luos world (because usually since their conflicts when fei was younger Tao would be an intimacy buffer - especially at homes, fei du goes to Tao Rans but not Luos house, Luo and feis recent private meetings have been part by chance and part Luo intentionally trying to reach out more in public places). Fei Du is being told you're allowed here without Tao Ran. I accept you as is, with anything you've done or are doing now, this is your home and I'm sorry I scared you away and you had to return to the mansion where dinner was never as pleasant as this.

I am so Glad the dinner was awkward. It was true to character. And so unique to their personal dynamic. And I love their dynamic in part so much because it Really is specific. They aren't strangers who met and fell in love. They aren't god/ghost ghost/human (shen wei and zhao yunlan to be fair have a bit of a unique thing going on cancyou tell I love unique ones ToT but overall like. The shared history. The crime that fucked them up. The tumultuous relationship through the years, the vulnerability and honesty and CARE. The influence on each other. Again I gotta say while Flower of Evil is DIFFERENT in a ton of ways in its romance, the main couples romance is also fairly unique at times and you think to yourself "of course these particularly intense niche people fell for Each other... it never could be anyone else, they never would have clicked like THIS with anyone else. No one would be this endlessly in love with them through all of This and keep trusting and keep Trying to understand each other." Idk how to describe just. Fei Du and Luo Wenzhou really appeal to me and there's so much to explore and I feel this birthday dinner was a tiny fraction displaying that.

And the flashback Fei Du had during dinner. The day he felt the place was no longer home anymore. The present afterwards where Luo IS trying so hard to fix that past distance. And fix it with no buffer this time, no Tao to soften the blow like he used to. Luo is being vulnerable and open and if Fei Du HAD wanted to lash out and attack the dinner would have been the best time to say something or do something like "blame" Luo for not caring or suspecting the worst of him or not trusting him or abandoning him and Genuinely possibly get the chance to totally burn the bridge of their relationship. But Fei Du doesn't. He doesn't lash out at the increased intimacy. He opens up and talks about himself, civilly, vulnerable and letting that vulnerability increase of his own choice (rather then Luos presence sort of pushing for it and his usual response to shut it down by saying cruel things). It's a lovely step forward for both of them in both trying to take their relationship a step closer. Slightly more trust in each other, more openness to share without Luo using the caretaking ordering to push fei du into staying in the convo or fei du lashing out and saying cruel things to Try and push to get out of a condo.

You can see it after. Luo accepting Fei Du offering help. Luo bringing him along (fei du trusts Luo more without lashing out and gets treated more like an equal instead of a child, being treated more like Tao Ran - like a partner who CAN be brought to a crime scene, can help, can offer unique talents to help, is worth listening to, and can take care of himself getting home later without being scolded). It's interesting just a bit that he is getting shifted toward being treated more how Luo treats Tao Ran. Fei also actually smiles back and says his own version of goodbye when he's dropped off, another good sign they've crossed into closer relationship territory then their prior holding pattern. Fei Du now trusts Luo enough to potentially Share his thoughts without being pried and without trying to run from it or fear Luo will abandon him about what he might share. Luo is trying to treat Fei Du like an equal, not like someone he's responsible for as a caretaker but someone he just genuinely cares About like a partner, and so he's not throwing his age around as a threat of authority so much as a joke to make Fei feel familiar and comfortable.

Genuinely so curious how this show will handle them as they start flirting. I keep expecting a scene where Fei Du brings the police team delivery food.

I love that Fei Du has his private investigation going on. It makes him feel shady a la a Beyond Evil character lol. I know he's not up to pure evil or anything but it's fun to me that Luo Wenzhou is aware Fei Du has a tendency toward doing this kind of shit but is not personally involved and clearly there is someone out to kill Fei but that's not on the whole groups radar necessarily.

I've mentioned it before but I love this particular case from the book and loved how terrifying it was in live action and it looked how I pictured and memories flooded. I remember it was the first time I felt priests writing scared me like horror like some Stephen King novel. The live action scene, where fei du comes in and says "where's the bad guy" and he uses his words and looks at Luo to come up with a plan to deescalate was just phenomenal to watch. Again it felt Iike a piece, a moment of seeing into their dynamic and the depth of their knowing each other and WHY they make such an excellent team. Why it's them that has to be partners. Why (as much as I love him) Tao Ran can't be endgame for one of them. Fei Du is a little off center and varies how unhinged he is by the situation, and he Gets kids like these. The girl who's a hostage and needs anything no matter how absurd, to be saved. The girl who may well have killed other little girls, and he has let his mind wander where hers has or has Feared it turning into something like it, and knows what he'd want to hear. Knows what he'd do if he were her in that moment and can't let her. Knows in a way Luo Wenzhou and Tao Ran just aren't going to. And Luo Wenzhou bends his own rules so much FOR Fei Du, will bend his view of the world itself to accommodate that he loves and cherishes Fei Du and NEEDS fei du safe and happy in his world. Luo Wenzhou (in the show) is being fed this show premise that people with zero empathy tend towards harming others (which when the show later says they kill animals etc sounds like it's just a stand in word for psychopath maybe? It seems to be a stand in for either handwaving real people with low empathy or feelings without actually using real world terms Or a standin for just "people who harm" with some fictional excuse). It's clear the narrative is framing anyone as capable of crime since some people they catch do not have the "no empathy gene" but still did cruel things.

But anyway, framework of the show is Fei Du is like the lead guy in Flower of Evil or Shaw from Person of Interest. And Luos being fed that those people inherently do monstrous things. And he is told that, fei says his dad is one and so is he. Feis held a dead bird when Luo found him. Feis lashed out about that fear by claiming he'd kill or hurt people presumably like fucking weekly when he talked to Luo and got too emptionally vulnerable. But Luo Wenzhou let's it go one ear and out the other. Even if Fei Du killed an animal, even if he does want to kill someone in revenge Genuinely like the dad who killed the person he thought kidnapped his daughter? To Luo Wenzhou his Fei Du is an innocent boy who grew up in immense pain and he just wants him to be safe and live a good life he likes and lives a long time in. To Luo Wenzhou, Fei Du is ALWAYS worth engaging with, hearing out, giving the benefit of the doubt. Because when he was a child, when it mattered, Luo wenzhou disappointed him by failing after hearing fei du out and trying to investigate for him. Scolded fei du for trying to do something himself, because he didn't want fei du to BEAR that and didn't want him to be stuck in the past unable to heal (but lmao fei du was going to stubbornly hold on until he can fix it anyway). For Luo Wenzhou if Fei Du acts unhinged and is about to run over 5 men? He'll think the guy has his reasons, remind Fei Du his life is worth so much he is a treasure if he ends his life by throwing away his opportunities it's not worth it. For Luo Wenzhou if Fei Du says act like this kidnapper Su is the victim? Luo wenzhou will snap quickly into playing along. He'll trust Fei Dus lead. They're both a bit off the deep end in some regards and because of that it suits them to be together. To work together they just click better for each other than any other partner would.

Just that scene really was the first taste of Fei Du's social skills and manipulation he can bring to the table in cases and really excel at. The car chase showed hes competent in an action disaster. And in isolation we know he's smart and investigating privately. But with Luo Wenzhou it's his first real show he can Handle something THIS immense with a life on the line. And it's also so much for Their Relationship and trust increasing further, that Luo Wenzhou trusts Fei Du to be in it. To rely on him during it. It's that transition into equals.

And then the cute bits. Transition to equals includes! Fei Du showing off his manly Superiority with a sports car, with how rich beyond reason the bitch is (Luo you want a sugar daddy who's younger? Fei du is right here for you baby), with his beauty (of course someone would sell me off alas I AM the catch for everyone in this city I AM the hottest u-u you don't even appreciate it), his competence in the actual case which was HUGE (and his little offer when they arrived to help - acts of service and gifts are both his and Luos main love language to flirt). Basically Fei switched from mainly hostility to a sort of middle ground I'm your contrarian but I'm Also such an appealing dating prospect don't you think? Sort of reminds me of Zhao Yunlans early stage flirting and I'm curious again how show will handle this behavior of Fei Dus intensifying. Meanwhile Luo Wenzhou turned his old "listen to me cause I'm your superior" into trying to spin it more positively, also a sort of "look how beneficial I am in your life don't you Want to stay this close and possibly move closer? Don't you -3-" by offering advice (actually the job thing hints nicely toward fei du deciding to study psychology and work for SID soon), driving Fei Du (an old thing he does but now he lets Fei get dropped off and treated like an equal adult), showing the very warm home he's happy and hopes fei du wants to share (look I can cook! My house is cozy and nice! I have your old cat and he's so happy so will you be, look at this yummy food I make, I can even sing happy birthday and spoil you like Tao Ran if that's what you want), generally emulating the somewhat warmer way Tao Ran talks to fei du like he did in the ep 1 car ride. Generally smiling more openly. Luo was already being flirty in some ways since his caretaking style and flirt style both involve acts of service and doting. But he's trying now to seem like a cool, talented, secure guy who appears as a good Prospect.

I'm not sure How aware Luo is he's doing it, as from his pov he could just think he's transitioning from caretaker to "friend" (but friend sure looks like how he treated crush Tao Ran so). But I think on a Level Luo Wenzhou is somewhat aware of how it Could be construed. Because when Fei Du peacocks his own desireable-sexy-guy traits Luo is aware on one level he's being slightly dissed (as usual) but on another fei du isn't overtly shutting Luos attempts down, just offering his own More Lavish attempts. Which again... Luo at this point could see it as Fei Du also just trying to transition from rival/at odds to friends. But it's a Tao Ran more kinda friend than Zhang Donglan kind of friend, and fei dus a flirt anyway toward everyone. And Luo probably on a level knows he better tread Careful cause a brag from Fei one day may become a "come hither" the next and then they're in bed and it's a mess dkdkmd.

Like... for the live actions sake. I'm going to assume both of them think they're just transitioning closer to "friends who tease" instead of this almost parent/child at odds relationship that was buried underneath the love rivals excuse they used to overly care about each other and be Frustrated that they did. But for both of them friends (they both clearly have only 1 other close friend and its crush Tao Ran) of this level of closeness is not something either of them really have outside of each other so it's vulnerable and awkward and very grey area and uncomfortably undefined the longer it goes on. So like... at some point, one would presume the next few episodes (?) One or both of them is going to realize they desire a romantic relationship with the other. Amd at that point at least one of their flirt behaviors is going to crank UP and then the other person will also be aware the grey area has been defined. Defined into the "find a friend hot and would like more". (Which lmao because of Tao Rans bizarre situation romantically wirh both means those fuckers are now doing to each other a much more Competitive Terrifyingly Intimate High Risk version of what they did to him as a proxy).

Again. Love this case.

I will probs liveblog reading of Silent Reading again at this rate...

[ckret2]

#billll honeyyy u need some mahogany or ur not getting anywhere 🥺#in this metaphor if. if gold leaf is knowledge & flattery then perhaps. carving could be those difficult conversations#it's fiddly it's complex it's arduous & time consuming & ur probably not being paid enough. ur back & eyes ache#there's splinters in ur splinters#but eventually u start to see what u got in front of u look a bit like the pattern in the brief#& u know ur going to be there Forever correcting the wobbles & lumps & it won't ever really be finished because#once it looks right u still have to treat & varnish it. & u gotta polish it & u gotta worry about woodworm#but if it's carved in something sturdy. like oak. like mahogany. & if u take care of it#it can last forever :)

Yeah exactly.

Bill's a shitty carpenter and he's never performed that much (emotional) labor in his LIFE; but on the other hand he's also never been trapped inside a small house with the looming fear of death hanging over his head where he can't disintegrate anyone who displeases him. He's gonna learn how to make friends because he's got no choice. And when he really really wants something, he's also extremely fucking stubborn.

The third hardest part is getting Bill to take this seriously enough to do the work; the second hardest part is convincing Ford that Bill actually honestly is taking it seriously; and the absolute hardest part is convincing Ford to give a shit, considering the betrayal and torture and murder attempts and universe endangerment.

But by the time I'm done with Bill he'll chop the damn tree down himself to make a tabletop if he has to. And he probably WILL have to.

A relationship—of any type—platonic, romantic, professional, whatever—is a piece of furniture.

Bill giving Ford the secrets of the universe and the answers to ancient questions and all sorts of esoterica and occult knowledge? That's gold leaf. Financially valuable. Pretty. Distracting. Optional.

Thirty years ago, Bill spent several years building a table with Ford. And he pulled out a bunch of gold leaf and painted all over it—giving Ford little glimpses of the future, little useful nuggets of info—and Ford said, damn, that's the fanciest table I've ever seen. Look at how it shines. Aren't I lucky.

And then came the portal test and Bill smashed the table with a sledgehammer.

And then, as Ford was left with the shattered pieces of the table, he could see for the first time that he'd brought sturdy solid oak legs to their table construction project, but Bill had only brought cheap-ass Ikea particleboard for the tabletop. Particleboard and gold leaf.

Now, thirty years later, Bill says he wants to be friends with Ford again—he tries to buy back his friendship with offers of power and knowledge—he's painting gold leaf on a broken table. He's looking at Ford and saying "hey, how come we never use that table anymore? Pal?" He doesn't acknowledge that it's been smashed in half. He won't even so much as admit he brought flimsy particleboard.

The thing is, Ford likes furniture with gold leaf. He likes the knowledge, the secrets, the gifts. But all the gold leaf in the world won't coax him to try to have lunch on thirty-year-old trashed particleboard. He'd rather spitefully scrape the gold leaf off into a baggie and take it home and leave Bill and his stupid table behind.

As long as Bill keeps caking gold leaf on splinters, he's never getting anywhere. He won't get anywhere unless he admits the particleboard is busted. Until he tries to fix it, realize it's too crumbly to repair, pries it off, and brings a proper damn tabletop to attach to those legs—and on top of that he'll probably have to beg on his knees for Ford to risk handing the legs over again.

Bill's a shitty carpenter. Good luck, Bill.

[tatakaebomb]

Getting Along

ꕥ Pairing : Shinichiro x Reader

ꕥ Synopsis : From enemies to fucking on the kitchen countertop.

ꕥ Word count : 1.8k

ꕥ A/N : This might be a lil ooc but still works. Sorry Waka, i needed u for the plot :( This is me coming back to writing ~

ꕥ TW : 18+, smut, rough sex, dom! shin, creampie, unprotected, cheating, fingering, choking, teasing, praise, bratty reader, use of slut once, mention of cigarette, dub con but not really, reader is wakasa’s girlfriend, shin’s big dick - i think thats all.

Again. You're about to be left alone with him AGAIN.

Wakasa knew very well that you and Shinichiro never worked well together and any time you got forced to hang around him it would start arguments.

It began way before you and Wakasa started dating, the bitter feeling of rejection never leaving Shinichiro since you curved him for his best friend -and ever since then, the tension just kept growing.

You really tried in every possible way to get along with him but it could never happen, he'd always say something that ended up setting you off and you wouldn't be able to keep your mouth shut. You always told yourself that it was only right to keep trying , for your boyfriends sake at least.

But you didn't expect this tonight. Not tonight.

-

This was suppose to be your special day - the day only you two would spend together - but of course Shinichiro managed to invite himself to your place once again without any notice.

You were happily making dinner when that asshole walked in like he lived here, like he always does.

It completely killed your mood to say the least, but once Wakasa got off the phone with Benkei telling him he'll be " right over " , you finally snapped.

" Are you fucking kidding me? Waka - its our anniversary ! " You crossed your arms, turning around from the stove to face your boyfriend with a pout.

" I know baby, i'm sorry - listen " Wakasa tried explaining how Benkei got in trouble and how he needs him, getting closer to you and stroking your shoulders in a shitty attempt to excuse himself.

" Should i... leave ? " You heard Shinichiros voice come from the living room and you rolled your eyes, opening your mouth to say something only to be shushed by your boyfriend.

" Nah Shin, keep her company while im gone - ill be back in a few "

You didn't have time to react as your boyfriend quickly slipped his shoes on and left the apartment, completely ignoring you cursing him out as he shut the front door closed behind himself.

" Fucking asshole " You muttered under your breath, your head hanging low as you took the food off the stove and set it aside to cool down, burning your finger in the process.

" - Shit " You cursed, dropping the wooden spoon you were holding on the kitchen floor.

" You good ? " Shinichiro's voice startled you as you bent down to pick up the spoon making you instinctively turn around and throw it at him.

He dodged it, holding in laughter at the fact you look like you've just seen a ghost.

" Yeah, i'm fucking great - can't you tell ? "

You muttered annoyed trying to ignore him while taking a large bowl out from the kitchen cabinet, chaotically grabbing the ingredients you needed.

" Can i - like - help you with anything ? "

You sighed and raises your head as you cracked the last egg into the bowl,

" Do you know how to make brownies ? "

-

"You told me you knew what the fuck you were doing ! " You yelled out, waving your hands around trying to keep it together as you saw your kitchen get messier and messier, flour spilling everywhere from the cup Shinichiro was shakily holding.

" I don't fucking know, Emma texted me the recipe - blame her ! " He yelled back, getting in your face while you couldn't help but laugh at how this man managed to somehow get flour in his hair.

" Why are you laughin - fuck this,  i need a smoke " He expressed, bringing a cigarette from his pack to his lips and getting ready to light it.

" I swear to god if you smoke in my apartment - i'll fucking murder you " You calmly said, looking at him dead in the eyes.

And just as calmly he kept eye contact as he flicked the lighter on, the intoxicating smoke quickly making its way around as he inhaled.

You impulsively stepped in front of him, cursing at him while taking the cigarette from between his lips causing him to exhale the smoke right in your face. You choked while he grinned at you amused making you back him further into the wall, bringing the lit cigarette up.

" I'll put it out on your tongue " You warn him making him mockingly put his hands up while sticking his tongue out.

" Bet you won't "

“Hah” That's all you needed to hear, you brought it closer to his mouth and in a split of a second he grabbed your wrist, turning you so you're the one pinned against the wall.

You look at him dumbfounded, your hands shaking making you drop the cigarette on the tiled floor. He steps on it, getting closer to you while pinning both of your arms above your head.

" Get the fuck off me, you idiot " You mutter , your heart beating out of your chest as you look up into his dark eyes noticing his gaze noticeably changed into a more serious one.

He chuckled as you struggled against him making you even more mad. The tension grew between the two of you as you tried to get your words out, stuttering until you finally managed to speak.

" Quit playing , im serious - we need to finish before Waka gets bac-"

You get interrupted by him as he looked down at your lips with an emotionless expressions,

" You have chocolate around your mouth"

" Huh? " You began licking your lips instinctively,

" Wher-"

" Here "

He suddenly crashed his lips against yours, letting go of your wrists to drop his hands to your waist, bringing you in closer.

You gasped into the kiss, not knowing what to do until inevitably giving into it and kissing him back.

He pulled away, looking down at you speechless while you avoided eye contact.

" What - why ? " You asked breathlessly and without answering he picked you up, continuing to kiss you before placing you roughly on the kitchen counter.

His kisses trailed down your jawline to your neck as you hesitantly tangled a hand in his hair, your breathing quickening as you pulled him closer to you.

" Fuck - Shin " You let out a quiet moan, your head tilting back as you shut your eyes letting him slip your dress up.

" Because - i’ve always wanted you " He breathed against your neck, biting down on your collar while slipping two fingers into your wet panties, sliding them to the side.

" Shit - this is - ah - fucked up " You let out a loud moan, biting your bottom lip as he began working his fingers in and out of you slowly.

" Mm, do you want me to sto- " He paused once your body shook against his, a faint " right there " leaving your lips before you shook your head in embarrassment.

" Here ? " His dark hair fell over his face as he picked up his pace, not breaking eye contact while his fingers kept rubbing against your spot perfectly. You bit on your lower lip to suppress moans while feeling your legs starting to shake.

" Nu-uh "He took his fingers out making you whine at the loss of contact, your eyes glistening as you stared into his.

He grabbed you by your neck forcing you to look at him, a small gasp leaving your lips as he began undoing his fly with his other hand.

" I wanna hear you , what do you want ? " His lips twist into a smirk.

" Please - want you -" You mumble incoherently under your breath as you feel your body tremble more and more under his while he lines his cock with your entrence, teasing your clit.

" Mm? I didn't hear you " He continues rubbing his head up and down your slit. You pull him closer to you, your lust filled eyes staring into his.

" Need you inside me - please " You let out a whisper, digging your nails into his back as he slowly slipped the head inside stretching you out.

" More! " You moaned against his ear, your finger nails dragging along his back.

" 'So greedy - what's my name ? " He slowly took his cock out as you desperately buckled your hips up.

" Shinichiro - please " You cried out and he snapped his hips against yours without warning, burying the whole of his length inside in one stroke.

" Fuck - good girl " You rolled your eyes back as he starts moving, kissing on your neck while continuing with long slow strokes. You tugged on his hair, bringing his gaze to meet yours.

" If you're gonna do it - ah - do it right " You half smiled at him.

" Shut the fuck up " He shook his head and chuckled before kissing you again, rougher this time.

He picked up his pace, roughly drilling himself in and out of you, rubbing against your spot with every stroke making your stomach curl.

" Ah - like that - 's good " You exhaled, your head falling back as his hands gripped firmly around your neck.

" Fucking slut - should of thought twice before rejecting me for him huh ? " He groaned against your lips as you desperately grabbed tighter onto the counter top, your legs shaking as you felt your orgasm approaching.

You mindlessly murmured in affirmation to what he said, your eyes rolling back while you feel him deeper and deeper inside you.

" Shin- 'm gonna - " You moan out as he crashed your lips on his.

" Cum for me " He quickened his pace helping you ride out your high as you chanted his name out of breath, coming undone under him.

You felt his dick twitch inside you , your eyes meeting his again as he began groaning louder, his hips starting to stutter against yours.

" Fuck - Y/N -" His head tilted back as he gave in a few more lazy strokes before filling you up with his cum, whispering your name under his breath as you took in the sight still trying to catch your breath.

The two of you silently stared at eachother, the only sound being heard was the sound of your heavy breathing while you both try to process what just happened.

-

" I'm home -" Wakasa voice was heard from the main door as you hum to yourself, twirling around while placing the food on the table while Shinichiro quietly scrolled through his phone.

" I thought one of you would be dead by now "

He chuckles, nearing you to place a kiss on your cheek while you looked at the dark haired man with guilt.

" No, we got along just fine " Shinichiro confidently says, his head propped up on the palm of his hand as he looked at you innocently smiling back.

“ I guess we did “ You break eye contact, looking down at your food and playing in it as your smile slowly faded.

“ That’s goo-“

Wakasa pauses, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he takes a seat at the dinner table next to you.

" Y/N, were you wearing the same clothes when i left ? "

[blustalker]

What it's like being roommates with Jeff, Ben, and Toby in a dingy apartment headcanons (platonic)

• Ben would nag you to play video games with him but if he lost he'll get pissed and go in the game and hack it

• Eye drops all over the apartment since Jeff leaves them everywhere and keeps losing it

• Toby and Jeff would try and attempt to cook something. You have to supervise them while they are testing out this waffle maker

• They stuffed it with hot dogs and eggs it wasn't half bad solid meal

----

• You brought your date around the house, beforehand you had to force them to clean the whole place

• Ben shoved all his crap in cabinets and drawers

• Jeff didn't do shit and made more mess

• Toby is the only one who helped but not without complaining the whole time

• Once you and your date came over it was dead silent, no one in sight. You guys were sitting in the living room chatting when the tv turned on by itself

• Oh you knew what was coming suddenly Ben pops out of the tv and crawls out of it. Your date never went there again

• Every time you bring your date over they take turns scaring the shit out of them and track it down on the scoreboard score. Whoever has more scares wins

----

• When you came home upset from whatever happened they tried comforting you.

• They ended up stealing money from a store and y'all spent it all shopping

• Everyone has mood swings so you'll hear shouting here and there

• Music blasting at 3 am from jeff's room

• Bribe eachother with chores or blackmail

• Be careful where you step there might be sharp objects and shit on the ground

• Takes each others clothes after laundry day They accidentally gave each others clothes don't know which is whos

-----

• One of them has a shrine of slashers they really look up to. Ben likes Patrick Bateman, Jeff likes Billy Lenz, and Toby likes Norman Bates

• Need to replace the xbox controllers a lot cause Ben always throws it

• Jeff punches things to take his frustration out so there are a few holes on the walls

• Toby asks you to punch his stomach while doing pull ups cause he thinks it'll make him stronger it really doesn't do anything since he can't feel pain

• Jeff and Toby sometimes bans Ben from video games cause he usually cheats

• Ben and Jeff were play fighting. Jeff got too carried away and accidentally stabbed Ben. Toby called you to go home and deal with them

• Go yell at Ben to take a shower

• If you're going through something and too tired to do chores they'll do it instead

• You all got pet fish but it died a week later. Ben tried giving them Monster

• You once bought one of those cold cases murder mystery to play it with them not even 15 mins in and they got it right. They bet whoever solves it first doesn't have to do any chores and sore losers has to pay for food and do everything in the apartment

• Whenever you play jazz they pretend to be in a horror movie to freak you out

• When you all watch a horror movie they'll be very sarcastic and exaggerate their reactions

• You blackmailed all of them to dress like the heathers and they blackmail you to be their Veronica

• Whenever you would play video games Ben would randomly pop up in there and give you a jump scare

• You joked to them about them being your guard dogs so when you went out they started barking at everything you never made that joke again

• They purposely piss you off by taking your words literally "What? you told me to piss off"

---

• Whenever you start having crush they make a plan on how to get rid/test this new person

• Your date just sees three scary looking men behind you without you knowing

• Ben and you have moments where you laugh at nothing

• Noise complaints all the time you guys almost got kicked out. Don't worry they took care if it meaning sending a warm message to your neighbors

• When you asked what happened to the neighbor they'll just say "they probably moved" and leave before you could ask anymore questions

___

ill give you a smooch if u reblog

this is them playing as the heathers💀

[crabonfire]

Mercs when your sick :(

warnings: none!!

characters: all mercenaries

note: sorry if these sicknesses r badly described,,usually whenever I get sick my Asian household gives me a cup of tea to drink and oil to rub on my stomach to feel better...and it works? so I'm not very into how Americans or other people do it 😭😭

♡Scout♡

• usually, you and him would have breakfast together so you'd have time with each other before matches start. So when he waits for you to wake up and notices your still in your room, he gets a bit worried.

• he'll knock on your door waiting for an answer. When he doesn't get one, he'll force himself in. did you die??? are u good

• then when he notices your stuffy nose and irritated expression, he goes full on panic mode.

• he's never had to care for sick people before...uhh...

• "Shit, you don't look too good Y/N...uhhh fuck-"

• asks you what's wrong, lists every little thing you say and runs off to medic.

• "Ah, a common fever, a cold, nausea...alright. Just make zhem drink zhis before zhey eat anything. If zhey start to experience headaches too, give zhem zhese."

"Thanks doc, I mean it."

• he runs back to you and starts explaining, "UH so uh...the doctor said-"

• insert really poorly explained explanation

• after he's done that, he will stay by your side all the damn time until you feel better.

• "You uh...ya feelin' any better toots? ya need anything? Water? No? Okay, just checkin'."

• after he realises your okay, just a bit under the weather, he pretends like he wasn't worried as hell. But it's pretty obvious, I mean the man is clinging on to you and cuddling you in bed. The way he's holding you feels like if he let's go his whole entire world will collapse, man is he clingy.

• after a few, if your still sick he'll beg you to get better. Why? he can't kiss you. if he kisses you, he'll get sick too. He said "What? I can't kiss you??? Why not...I don't mind being sick with you." But also "...wait but if I'm sick then who's gonna take care of you?? Goddammit!"

• he will pepper your face with kisses all over your body, just not receiving any back. Will try to make soup for you and does a surprisingly decent job. Will MURDER anybody who even thinks of bothering you.

• "Get well soon okay? I miss not being able to make out with you. Its weird...but also I just don't like seein' ya sick. so get well soon okay? and-ask me for anything. Let big strong scout take care of you, got it?"

scout make out with me challenge

♡Soldier♡

• he's the first to wake up at 5 in the freakin morning and wakes everybody else up by yelling into their doors. he always goes last with you though, letting you get that 5 minutes of extra sleep.

• when he does get to your door, he knocks slightly less aggressive than with the others. "WAKE UP CADET! WE HAVE A FULL DAY AHEAD OF US. ITS TIME TO WAKE UP!"

• you groan loudly and wake up, stepping to the door. He's quite confused to be greeted by you, yet you have a stuffy red nose and you look like you slept in a dump. Oh boy, what happened?

• "CADET, YOU LOOK DREADFUL! WHAT HAPPENED? DID YOU GET ATTACKED LAST NIGHT?! TELL ME WHICH PERPETRATOR DID THIS TO YOU. I WILL HUNT THEM DOWN AND MAKE SURE THEY GO THROUGH THE ROUGHEST AND RUTHLESS TORTURE ANY MAN HAS TO EVER ENDURE."

"Solly, I think I'm sick- sneeze oh there it is sniff."

"SICK?! NOOOOOOOOO-"

• he's super dramatic about it, even more than you thought.

• carries you bridal style and runs off to Medic's medbay before Medic is even in there. He places you onto the patient bed and runs off to get Medic.

• "Soldier, did jou really have to barge into my room? I was very busy in zhe bathroom!"

"YES! IT WAS MANDATORY. NOW CURE THEM!"

"I'm afraid that's not how it works, but I will do my best."

• will not let you leave your room, he stands guard infront of your door to make sure nobody even dares to step foot near it.

• he checks in on you a lot, asks Engineer to make you some soup.

• "ARE YOU ALRIGHT NOW CADET? DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE? NO? OKAY."

• once he's sure nobody is going to bother you, he's holding you tightly and making sure you feel comfortable. it's surprisingly quiet but he doesn't want to irritate your head, from time to time he will ask how your feeling and if he needs to get more soup or medication.

• he will be very wary of you now, after you get better he will inspect what you eat and how you feel so that you don't get sick anymore.

• "WE NEED TO CHECK FOR THE GERMS IN THAT. WHAT IF IT HAS RABIES!?!? NO, I WILL EAT THAT FIRST TO CHECK."

•assure him your okay please, he will not stop this for weeks.

solly?!?!??! faints

♡Pyro♡

• you and him cannot be separated. even in matches, so when you come back looking sick he's very very worried.

• "hhudda hhuuddhaa mmddhh??" (Are you okay??)

" sniff I'm feeling a bit sick, now that you mention it."

"HHUDYDA?!?!??!" (SICK?!?!?!!)

• doesn't know what to do but first thing he does is lock you in your room, then running off to engie for help.

• " SNIFHG HENGHEE!! HHUDA HHDYYDA HUHDA HHAHD MMFHA HUDDHA HHUDA HHFHUDA HHUDA HMMH :(" ( sniff ENGIE!! Y/N IS SICK AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO :( )

"Woah easy there buddy! Calm down-calm down. Hmm..oh! We could make some soup for them? Soup helps with sickness usually. Would you like if I made them some soup?"

" HHHUDA!! :D" (YEA!! :D)

"Great, I'll start workin' on it. You go ask Medic for some medicine."

• as soon as engie says that he will RUN GALLOP FUCKING FLY OVER TO THE MEDBAY.

"Ah, hello pyro-AH-"

Pyro has both his hands on medic's shoulders, shaking him aggressively.

"HUDDHA MMFHA HUDDAHHA MHHEHUDA HHUDA MHHEEDS HHHEM!" (GIVE ME SOME MEDICINE Y/N NEEDS THEM!)

"PYRO VHAT ZHE FUCK I CANT UNDERSTAND YOU-"

• Engie overhears this and stops his cooking to give Pyro a lecture on why you should not yell and grasp your hands while you shake them aggressively, begging them for medicine. He understands and apologises, as Medic huffs and gives him the medication you need.

• when he finally unlocks the room he has a bowl of nice warm cream soup for you. He sets it aside on the table by your bed as he runs back out to get your assorted medication.

• he will spend the entire day with you, drawing cute pictures of you together and writing get well soon notes non stop.

• if your not well by tomorrow or stay sick for longer, he will leave you sweet messages while he's out on the battle field.

"Get well soon sunshine :) -pyro"

"I miss you!!! -yours truly"

"I just set 3 people on fire and all I could think about was you, love you. -pyro"

also ppl infantilize him a lot when I think he'd be a very corny partner, pyro my beloved.

♡Demoman♡

• You usually come by to check up on him every night to see if he's drinking too much or getting into trouble. Sometimes he'd get super drunk on purpose just for you to take care of him.

• but your not there, in fact now that he thinks about it he hasn't seen you all day. hmm...u good?

• he goes over to your room, half sober and notices your slumped body on the table. Your asleep? But you seem annoyed. He notices how red your face is, and presses the back of his palm gently on your forehead. My god, your burning up!

• he's been taking care of his mother for a long time, so of course he knows how to take care of an ill person.

• he'll gently carry you and place you onto your bed, then get a cold wash cloth. if you wake up in the process, he will greet you softly. this man may be half drunk right now, but he knows when he needs to sober up!

"Hiya lassie, ye slept on the bloody desk and I can tell yer burnin up! Stay in bed for a bit for me, ok?"

• he will give you a kiss on your forehead, before heading off to your bathroom and preparing you a lukewarm bath. while you both wait for the water to fill the tub, he sits on the side of the bed, placing the cool wash cloth on your forehead.

• "Heh, how could ye get sick like this? Ye must've not been takin' care of yerself eh? No worries, I'm here."

• he makes sure your super comfortable, even refusing for you to walk as he carries you into the bath. letting you undress, he waits by the tub to make sure everything feels right.

the waters not too cold right? it shouldn't be, it should be lukewarm. do you want a sponge bath instead? No? okay. that's fine.

• once you get out of the bath, he gives you everything you need. Getting you light clothing, even making you a cool drink to rid of your fever. He won't stay in bed with you, because he doesn't want to crowd your sickness. But once he knows your asleep, he will smile and leave you alone.

• if your still sick by tomorrow? he will try extra hard to make sure your feeling better, anything you want he will get. After you do feel better, he will take you out to a fancy dinner. ( some ppl keep forgetting tav is rich and I find that so funny tbh) and treat you the entire day, giving you a free day as a treat for you.

man I love tav sm

♡Heavy♡

• you two were having lunch together after a long match, you were absolutely killing it on the battlefield! though you made the mistake of not showering right after the match, making your body become drenched in sweat.

• "Ah...ACHOO!"

"...Y/N...are you ill?"

"Nah...probably just got something caught in my -ACHOO!"

• oh no!! you got a cold :(

• he gets a bit worried, but he has taken care of his entire family once when they were sick, so this is no problem.

• does not let you out of your room.

• makes you tea with some honey, and prepares you some delicious chicken noodle soup!! the best soup for colds :)

• will stay in your room with you for the day, asking you every couple of minutes if your okay. though he knows rest is important when in a cold, so he usually just stays quiet reading in your desk while he makes sure you don't wake up in the middle of the night or anything similar to that.

• honestly like...like super duper strict yet he's so sweet. if cold gets worse, he will get some medicine from Medic. Some to soothe a sore throat, some to clear a stuffy nose, all that jazz.

• "lisichka, are you feeling better? if not, Heavy is always here to help. please do not be shy to ask."

• makes sure nobody bothers you, if anybody comes to knock on your door at night all he will do is glare at them and shush them. "No, They are sick. If you do not stop bothering them I will rip your tiny head from tiny body. understand?"

• not much to say other than the fact he's not leaving your side for the day. he makes sure your 100% back in tip top shape before he even THINKS of leaving you alone while your sick.

• if you don't get better for a while, he will be extra diligent...and worried. He knows he's overreacting, he's usually someone who never does that, but what if you get sicker? a rougher disease? he wouldn't know what to do.

• though when Medic assures him its just a cold that's lasting longer than usual, he's more content with himself and tries not to worry.

• before you sleep, he will always give you goodnight forehead kisses. I can see he isn't a very romantic type of person, so moments like these is when he feels truly vulnerable with you. He blushes every time, this adorable man.

• "goodnight moya lyubov, get well soon."

I'm gonna kiss heavy💯💯💯 REAL!!!

♡Engineer ♡

• you two were relaxing in your room, he was talking about his latest invention and you were happily listening.

• but then you felt a weird feeling in your stomach, like you wanted to throw up. And...you did. You gagged and ran straight for your bathroom, throwing up in the toilet seat.

• he was quite shocked, and came after you. As you threw up, he kneeled next to you and rubbed circles on your back. "Hey hey, that's it let it all out..."

• when you finish, he's super duper worried. "Sugar-cube...are you alright? You seem a bit sick...did you eat anythin' funny?"

"Now that you mention it...Scout did give me a weird tasting can of bonk earlier."

"That scout...tell me, what do you feel?"

• he will write in his head about the things your feeling, and go straight to the doctor.

so a cold, sore throat, and slight nausea? cool cool, he's got it covered.

• "Sit tight honey, I'm gonna get some medicine for ya."

• is pretty calm honestly. he doesn't get sick a lot but when he does, he usually takes care of it so he can go straight back to work. So he's not worried or anything. he's a smart guy, of course he'd know it's best to take care of yourself.

• rest is crucial to cure a cold, so he will insist on leaving you to your room. he will check up on you every couple of hours, if your awake he'll ask if you need anything and if your feeling better.

• if you get worse, he will stay with you the entire time. leaving his work unattended just for a bit.

• very caring. each sneeze you let out or the way your tired eyes struggle to stay open makes his eart ache just a little.

"You don't need to force yourself to be awake, darlin'. I don't mind watchin' over you."

or something corny as fuck like "Even when you got that puffy red nose and those weary eyes, ya still look adorable."

• not much to say other than that honestly, just a sweet, caring and calm lover when your sick.

engie my beloved

♡Medic♡

• he knows your sick without you even telling him

• will randomly tell you to get onto the patient bed.

"Medic...what are you doing?"

"Checkup! Jou are sick mein schatz, I just need to know exactly vhat sickness it is. places gloves on now, relax. "

• checks on your eyes, mouth, all thay jazz. Once he does he asks you some normal questions.

like "How have jou been feeling lately? Any dizzyness while working?"

• after a small checkup, he writes it all on his board and gets some medication from his drawer.

"Alright, jour body temperature is unusual and from jour sore throat and lack of sleep jou may be getting a fever tomorrow or tonight. Once jou do, I want jou to take zhese. Take zhem after jou eat, three times a day, and zhis before you sleep tonight. If it does not cure by the next two days, I will give jou more to help with it. Understand?"

"Yea..thank you medic."

"Of course, take care of jourself more...and get more sleep for God's sake mein liebe."

• are you surprised he guessed your fever before it even occurs? Yeah. are you complaining? oh fuck no.

• it's amazing how he could guess, because as he said, by tomorrow morning you had been feeling terrible. As you placed your hand on your forehead, the heat it radiated was absolutely irritating.

• when you got out of the room to get yourself some food, to your surprise medic was in the kitchen...making food?

• "Ah mein schatz jour awake, guten morgen!"

"Morning medic, what'cha makin'?"

"Breakfast of course! I am making chicken noodle soup! With the help of heavy, I cannot cook haha."

outta nowhere, Heavy just appears 😭😭

"Hello."

"holyshit-hi heavy!"

Medic begins to explain your diet for the day, what to eat what to avoid, what to do and what to not do, etc.

As he does, Heavy is cutting up fruits for you. Medic says fruit is good for fevers.

Once the soup is done, Medic sits you down and let's you eat. "How is it?"

"Mmm...this is soooo good babe. You and heavy did a great job, thank you!"

"Thank you Y/N. "

"I'm glad jou like it, remember your diet, okay?"

"Yeah yeah, just leave me to eat this soup already."

With a hearty laugh, he gives you a kiss on your temple as him and heavy both go their separate ways.

• he won't really spend a lot of time with you, he doesn't want to distract you so for the entire day he let's you rest up in your room as he continues his work.

• not a very passionate man when your sick, but he really just wants you to get better, don't take it to heart.

medic cannot cook LMFAOOOOO

♡Sniper♡

• you went into his camper van already feeling a bit nauseous, but you decided to ignore it because you wanted to spend time with him.

• as he was ranting about how scout stole his kill, you very quickly felt the pressure build up and ran to the door, throwing up on the ground.

• he was very much surprised, it took him a second but he got up to check what happened.

• "Oh...uh...are you okay?"

"...mundy I just threw up-no, no I'm not."

"Sorry... uh...."

• HE DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF A SICK PERSON. IS PANICKING. AS YOU CONTINUE TO FUCKING AGGRESJVELY THROW UP HE IS SHAKING SHIVERING HIS TIMBERS HES SO CONFUSED.

He's gotten sick but his parents are the ones who take care of him...HE DOESNT MMOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF OTHER PEOPLE!!! HES A SNIPER HE TAKES CARE OF PEOPLE BY SHOOTING THEM.

•"UH...WAIT HERE."

• runs off to medic, who is very concerned to find a distressed sniper.

"Doc...uh...Y/N...is uh...throwing up a lot. uh..."

insert awkward pause

"...JUST FOLLOW ME."

• takes him to you as you sit by the camper with the most sad face anybody has ever seen.

• "Are jou alright? What are jou feeling?"

You tell him what you feel, bla bla all that jazz. Medic nods as you do and prescribes you with nausea, and a cough. pretty basic stuff.

yet...sniper is so worried. again, it's common illness! But...he's never taken care of anybody. Even as an adult without his parents usually he'll just let the sickness pass without a thought in his head.

He's a bit ashamed to say the least. Ashamed he can't take care of a common illness his lover is going through.

• will stay with you all day and make sure you have everything you need. if you feel like throwing up again he'll get you some ginger tea to help soothe it.

• will go to medic personally while your chilling and ask for tips, and medic ends up rambling about illnesses to sniper. sniper is intrigued but weirdly interested??

"And for colds, jou want to make sure zhey are warm. BUT NOT TOO WARM! rambles on"

"Ah..." He says as he nods along.

• sniper tells medic he feels a bit ashamed not being able to take care of a simple illness, Medic comforts him and tells him it's fine and reassures him that it's nothing to be ashamed of. (this is a weird friendship ik but it's cute hehe)

• he does everything medic tells him, and does a really good job! Thanks to them, your all well now.

• mundy doesn't need to be worried because now he knows how to cure the ill!! Yayyyyy

he doesn't know how to take care of a sick person LMFAOOO LOSER (make out with me mundy)

♡Spy♡

• you hadn't left your room all day, heck he didn't even know if you were awake or not.

• feeling a bit worried, he knocked on your door.

knock knock

he waits for a bit, then the door shuffles to open revealing you. but, you look different.

the red puffy nose? those tired eyes? and the way you so loosely stood? oh your sick, doesn't take an idiot to figure that out.

"Y/N, are you sick?"

"...yeah."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's a small flu, it'll pass Spy."

"Hm, no."

"..huh?"

• will ask if he can come in and as he does, you both sit down on the edge of your bed as he asks you tons of questions.

"Have you drunk any medication?"

"Yeah, once I woke up I felt pretty sick so I went to medics and he said it was best for me to rest."

"Good, have you eaten yet?"

"No, not yet."

"..I see."

silence falls between you two until he stands up and walks out of the room without a word.

"Spy? Uh...Spy where are you going?"

"Save your voice cherie, I'm going to make you a meal. Do not leave the room."

"Oh! Uh...okay."

• then he goes, leaving you in the room. it's a bit endearing how quickly he is to make you some food just by hearing the fact you need to eat.

• meanwhile, spy is in the kitchen making the most tasty chicken soup any man has ever laid their eyes on. oh my god just describing it is making my mouf water rn...yum

• scout and demoman walk into the kitchen, scout starts to bother him and demoman is trying to get a taste of the soup.

"Didn't know you could cook, Spy. You could've been making us food all this time but you really put Engie ta do all da work? wowwww, what a friend you are." rambles on

spy is too focused on his soup to care at the moment, chopping up vegetables to put in it

demo is drooling rn trying his best not to just take a big spoonful sip of it

In the end, spy just goes off with the soup and whatever is left he stores safely and threatens anyone that eats it a butterfly knife to the back of their heads. (He's saving it for you incase you want seconds.)

Now he's back in your room, a tray in his hands with soup and a fucking tea kettle with a cup.

He places it on your bedside table, as he hands you the soup. When you take it, he starts to gently pour some herbal tea into the cup for you.

When you take a sip of this soup, all your five senses activate and its like going through a delicious savory heaven of flavor. He's such a good cook, whyd he hide that talent?

The tea stays on the tray, as he leans by the door to watch you eat, smirking as your expression turns from tired into a happy one. He's quite proud of himself.

"Spy...this is so fucking good. What the hell...cook for me more? Oh my god...im drooling."

He chuckles, his voice low. "If you ask nicely then maybe I'll oblige, mon couer."

You almost splurt out your soup, he manages to make your cheeks heat up even when your sick. What kind of man says that sort of thing? Spy, spy is.

• will listen to you blabber and compliment his soup expertise, when you ask for seconds, he gets very giddy on the inside.

• for the entire time you get sick, he comes to you when you need a meal or when you need anything. You need tons of rest when you have a flu, he knows that. So, as much as he wants to hold you and cradle you in his arms, he has to leave you be.

• He doesn't want to get infected, if so, who will take care of you?

• though after, he will envelop you in kisses. Saying how much he missed your lips on his. Buys you a gift for being so well when your sick. Honestly, this guy is crazy with gifts.

spy 💘

THE END LMFAOO

sorry if some were longer than others!! I probably just didn't know what to add. Anyways, SORRY AGAIN for not posting much. Shit has been TOUGH man. But, I'm gonna write a ton for the next couple of weeks so leave your TF2 requests in my inbox!! I'm always up for ideas :)

[stay-corner]

[grocery shopping - changbin]

warnings: none, just a fluffy little blurb haha

words: idk but less than 1k i think

me: the bag is so heavy ㅠㅠ

binnie🐰: i'm sorry. be careful!

me: 😵

binnie🐰: how many sweets did you buy??

me: not a lot

me: just

me: enough to satisfy me ^^

me: i don't even know why the bag is so heavy

binnie🐰: maybe your arms are just weak lol

me: WHAT DO U MEAN >:((

of course, the one time you go grocery shopping without changbin, you happen to buy a lot of stuff. you really only went to buy some very basic things, but you ended up getting... so many snacks...

the shop is only a swift 15 minutes walk away from your apartment, but because of the heavy bag you are doomed to carry, it feels more like an hour, or maybe ten. a hundred years!! it really doesn't help that changbin is now spamming your phone with petty remarks. ("see, this is why you should work out with me," "this wouldn't have happened if you just waited a little for me to get ready," "wet noodle arms y/n, it's ok, it makes you even cuter :P")

you're fuming by the time you reach your street: your shirt is damp, sticking to your body uncomfortably, and you're huffing, panting heavily from all the effort. your legs quiver slightly and sweat starts dripping down the sides of your face and neck, but seeing your building, you feel a bit better. that is, until changbin sticks his stupid pretty little head out the window, cheeky smile on his face, gaze fixed on your form.

"woooh!! come on, you can do it! there you go, weightlifting fairy y/n!! haha!" he hoots, wiggling his arm around in mocking encouragement. you don't even have the energy to shout back at him - though you really want to, he's so embarrassing - so you simply settle on a murderous glare; one that lets him know you're not playing around. still, he can't help but giggle annoyingly, disappearing back into the apartment and closing the window.

you sort of hope that he'll come down the stairs and at least help you climb them, but instead you find yourself going up the stairs alone. the moment you see your apartment door, however, you only see bloody red. changbin opened it, and he's currently waiting for you with a shit-eating grin on his handsome face. your head hangs low, defeated, as you finally, finally, get the bag inside, dropping it in the hallway and moving quickly in order to take off the sticky shirt and to ignore his incessant teasing.

changbin goes to grab the bag, entirely curious of its weight, but before he even gets his hands around the handles, your head snaps dangerously towards him.

"changbin," you mutter, his hands enclosing around the handles, "don't you dare laugh at me," you continue, eyes squinting, but he's already lifted the bag, and at this point it's too late. he bursts into a fit of giggles, that grow into a hearty laugh, his body doubling over.

"y/n, oh my god, y/n," he wheezes, now kneeling on the floor, hands supporting his weight, "y/n, this is so funny, wait 'til the guys hear about it-"

"NOT. A. WORD."

the only sounds echoing through the hallway are your lighthearted smacks against his back and his high pitched wheezes at the fact that the bag is, in fact, not at all heavy.

based on a true story ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

i just felt like writing a short blurb abt what just happened to me TuT i totally think changbin would make fun of u if u struggled with the grocery bag, but then he'd feel bad about you having to carry it all the way home, so he'd make it up to you for teasing in the end bc he's a sweetie!!

- lunar

[evacado3]

Someone requested Samuel relationship hcs, but my dumbass accidentally posted my reaction🙄. So I deleted it but here you go anyways.

Samuel Seo hcs

Word count: 730

If I'd had to pick a place where your first meeting was, it's most likely in the office. I feel like he doesn't really have that much of an eventful life outside of work

He was probably interested in your passive character in the interview, making you his new secretary

Invites you on just a 'friendly date' between boss and employee, but admits he does in fact feels something for you

At first, when you guys started dating, nothing changed

Not much physical affections in the first week

At work, only because your his girlfriend, doesn't mean that he'll give you an automatic free pass

In fact, presumably gives you more work

Expects more from you cause your the girl he, Samuel Seo chose

Cold af during work time, no exception, barely felt you were dating

Until he becomes a gentleman who opens the door for you after off work

The damn butterflies, how did you fall for him even more

Insists to drop you off, so you muster up the courage to ask if you could visit his place

He'd purse his lips to hide his smile, mutters a small yes, can't lie that was the fastest U-turn he's ever made

The guy undeniably uses those aesthetic vanilla scented candles, I know it, you cannot disagree

His room smells heavenly, and even more organized than his office

Ocd freak, Do not touch his papers, I repeat, do not touch them papers

That's a red zone, will get mad ok, like, very

Lends you a big ass shirt, one that flows to your knees

Has cold, black silk sheets, sooo comfortable while snuggling in them titties I apologize

Would take the relationship seriously, I don't think he really goes around playing with women, I mean does he have time for that?

Suggests that you move in after about a month, to assure that you are committed and that you aren't inviting over other men

I do feel like he's isn't the type of guy who says "I love you", but will gladly show you

You'd fix his tie every day before work, it has become a form of affection

Also, fix him an easy healthy bento, he'd finished it all

Will suggest that you stop working, as a director he makes more than enough, kinda wants you to stay home more

Wouldn't force you though, but if a male employee chats with you, he suddenly learns how to teleports

"Mister _____, get back to work, those papers I requested aren't in yet."

Jeez the death glare sends shivers down the man's spine, has never talked to you again after that

But he wouldn't want to make the relationship open to everyone, does wants to keep his private life a secret

Drops you off at the bus stop so no one sees

Yujin definitely knows though, did offer you a gold badge

You are most likely to not know about those dark secrets behind workers, joined cause your boyfriend was in it

Probably gives you the silent treatment if he's pressured, might rest in his studies instead

Does apologies for his attitude, coos you into forgiving him

After that, rules are set that arguments should always be resolved before bed

Apologetics cuddles, let you mess with his hair, trace his tattoos, and opens up to talk about his shit day

Another thought is that his s/o is actually a few years older than him

I mean, who the hell gets a job as a director at 19 unless you a gangster like sammy over here

You'd probably be a little more mature to handle his random moods bipolar ass

The only time you saw him in that feral mode, is definitely when someone tried to touch or hurt you

Nah cause please rescue the guy if you don't want your boyfriend to be a murderer

Doesn't calm down till the person's knocked out cold

He might have stopped in front of you but will ruin his life behind your back

Possessive, the good part is that the man can fight, so wear what you want mama

Your daily routine consists of touching his tits

I do not apologize for the last sentence.

But honestly, I don't think he'd be too fun to date, more of a workaholic. Shows minimum affection, but is completely free to snuggle at night. But take this seriously,

there's no backing out from his love

[forbidding-souda]

idk if im doing this right but,, could you do saihara x shsl mathematician! reader?

Shuichi Saihara with a SHSL Mathematician S/O

turn my swag on ok my history work makes 0 fucking sense i'm so unnerved like how can people read complex stuff and just understand it like ??? i don't understand shit if it isn't said at a reading level of at most 10th grade. this is so stupid just talk normal u get nothing out of being fake intelligent by using big words lardass

^ it might also be because i have such idv / my dark vanessa brainrot that i literally can't think of anything else so trying to do work in that class feels like a punishment from god

i'm gonna be a scoundrel and ask people what they wrote down as answers.

currently listening: die in a fire by the living tombstone

playlist: for my book

-Mod Souda

❤ You can help him in a lot of departments. When it comes to doing investigations around a school, you can double in as a teacher - gathering information from the inside. You can also force your way into businesses, governments, land surveying, and some engineer work. Being a mathematician above all else makes everything you say sound extremely intelligent; you're good at getting people to believe whatever you say. When he thinks about your SHSL he thinks about its versatility. You're also pretty good at predicting things like the places a culprit would be in comparison to the victim - you can do equations in your head as quick as a blink. Pythagorean theorem is the most useful here.

He doesn't tell you that he knew you didn't go to bed last night until the car starts, leaving you trapped inside with him. When he brings it up, you look out the window, your mouth forming into a playful smile that you try to hide.

"It's not... healthy," he says. "It would make me feel better if you got a lot of sleep."

You still don't turn to look at him. A workaholic, he often calls you. He's one too - and it definitely takes one to know one. He's right, though, you were up all night working on a theory. Sometimes everything just falls into place so perfectly that there's no way you could give up just then. You were so sure that you were quiet as you wandered around the house - him sleeping just a few rooms over in his own bed.

"If you have a... hard time sleeping you can sleep in my bed," he adds. "I think I'm ready for that."

"You are?"

"I think."

"We can test it out, then." You analyze him from the corner of your eye. You can't tell if he's lying to make you more comfortable or if he's being genuine. Is he bringing up you sleeping with him in response to your lack of sleep - or your lack or sleep in response to you sleeping with him?

You raise your eyebrows in a shrug - making the expression whether he can see it or not. "I'll sneak into your room next time I 'can't sleep'."

"Thank you," he says with a soft voice. You look over at him, seeing his pink cheeks and the polite way he avoids your gaze. It makes you smile.

❤ If the murder weapon is something that is thrown, all you need is circa distance and the weight of the object and boom - you can easily predict where exactly the killer would have been standing and probably by the impact, how hard they threw it.

❤ Outside of that, you always seem to impress him with your brain.

❤ You'll hear him walking downstairs and predict the amount of time between the steps and how fast he was going, knowing perfectly when he'll arrive next to you.

❤ It's makes him a little insecure at times - being around somebody who constantly outsmarts him.

❤ But he realizes that it's literally your speciality and he outta get used to it or hit the road.

❤ Plus, there are a lot of things about detective work that he knows more than you.

❤ ^ That satisfies him.

❤ He also loves it when you correct other people (especially people he doesn't like).

❤ If somebody he doesn't like expresses their annoyance towards know-it-all's then he's going to introduce you two!

[dottores]

happy thursday from hcanon! <3

just dropping in with some more unsolicited annoying headcanons for lda!

bestfriend!ran who is always seems so reluctant to hang out with you that it makes you sad :(

bestfriend!ran who notices that your requests to hang out have been dying out and is lowkey sad about it so he start initiating hang outs which puts such a huge smile on your friend that it almost hurts him

bestfriend!ran who sees that school is starting to stress you out so he says he'll do your homework for you! (read: makes another kid do it and then claims the credit to get all the cheek kithes)

bestfriend!ran who realizes one day on a sunny afternoon in the park watching you and rin run around that this is the happiest he's ever been and can't stop himself from smiling

bestfriend!rin who becomes your shadow when he first moves in and refuses to leave you alone, even at school (cue classmates: does he even go here????? all they hear is a feral growl)

bestfriend!rin who initially hates having his hair touched, but gets a warm fuzzy feeling when you do it so he decides he actually likes it. until someone else tries and he smacks that shit away (he realized he only likes it when YOU touch his hair)

bestfriend!rin who loves watching you and ran interact, it's the most relaxed he's ever seen his brother and people will die if they try and disturb that

bestfriend!rin who comes into your room holding his blanket one night after a nightmare and tugs on you to wake you up so that you can sleep together. you both wake up and for some reason ran's on top of you

bestfriends!rin and ran who love challenging you at things they're clearly better at, like racing, just to see you pout because it might just be the cutest thing they've seen in the world

bestfriends!rin and ran who stand outside of your school all day when they realize you might be vulnerable, but don't worry they'll have control of that area soon enough, to keep you safe

bestfriends!rin and ran who carry that locket you got them with their pictures every day and when you come home one day with tears streaming down you face saying someone took it, they are livid. rin sits there and holds you while ran just "goes out for a walk to blow off some steam" and comes back a couple of hours later with it just saying he found it on the side of the street! crazy! (what you didn't notice was that his shirt was inside out so that you wouldn't see the blood stains <3

SOBS THEYRE NEVER ANNOYING STOP THAT EVERY TIME I SEE U SEND IN AN ASK IT MAKES ME SMILE SO HARD SOBS SOBS SOBS i’m sorry it takes me so long to get to them 🥹🥹🥲 woke has been draining me so much

literally wailing hysterically reading these i love them so much, SOBS the LAST ONE IS SO CANON SO SO SO CANON THOSE BOYS WOULD MURDER IF ANYONE TRIED TO STEAL OUR LOCKET AND RIN ONLY LIKING IT WHEN WE DO HIS HAIR YES OMG HE SO HAS FITS WHEN HE HAS TO GO TO THE HAIR STYLISTS BECAUSE HE DOESNT LIKE THEM TOUCHING HIS HAIR

“why can’t you just do it :(“

“rin i dont know how to do hair like that”

“but-“

“no.”

AND RAN OFFERING TO DO YOUR HAIR BUT ACTUALLY JUST MAKING OTHER PEOPLE DO IT PLEASE DISKJDJDKJD THATS SO CANON IM WHEEZING

[rivka-kopelman]

Delivery Lemur Logbook : 8

<view full logbook>

December 35th, 3431

Here's me, Delivery Lemur, now with a very violent murderer as my assigned sidekick. Haha he's not so bad.

I almost overfilled my coffee cup. I had to walk very slowly and carefully back to my beanbag to avoid spilling it. Lopcorn had come aboard with a big can of real coffee and generously let me have as much as I want. I spilled 2 of my first 3 cups. The 2nd spill was twice as embarrassing as the first time. I'm afraid if I waste any more he'll think I'm doing it on purpose.

We are halfway across Galaxy-1, still a long way from planet Clockmarsh, where I've gotta deliver a letter. If u didn't know, that's the most remote part of all inhabited space. The universe is pretty much in chaos now so I'm happy to have an official reason to ride out into the fringes.

I'm not used to having a passenger. It's fine I guess. He's snoozing right now in his army-issue pink-striped sleeping bag. Lopcorn sleeps twice as much as me. When he's awake he reads his phone, or just sits quietly. There's a funny aura of contentment around him. I think he's happy to be away from his, uh , work life. He used to do exercises (like sit-ups and whatever) but he gave it up; I think he thought I thought it was annoying (I kinda did).

I stare out the window and do nothing but drink coffee for a nice long time. Eventually my bodyguard wakes up and checks his phone before rising to pace the cabin.

“Sup,” Lopcorn mumbles.

“Just flying.” I really ought to brush my teeth, I bet my breath is kinda intense. So I do that, but halfway through the faucet jams or something and I can't rinse my mouth. I wiggle the tap around but nothing comes out.

“Blglglgllglg,” I froth.

“Huh?”

I spit. “We're out of water.”

“Huh, shit.” Lopcorn tried the faucet himself and couldn't get any water either. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Where's the closest place to get water?”

With minty bubbles trickling down the corners of my mouth, I go over to the controls and initiate an H2O scan.

“There's a wet planet at coordinates 0,0,0,” I relay. “What are the odds of that, right in the center of the chart?”

The seawater's worse than anything my purifier can take, but the ice should be okay. So. We land on Earth and I try to find some gloves cause it's snowing. I couldn't find a matching pair and had to put a left glove on my right hand which feels really stupid. I flip the switch to pop open the spout cap thing and follow Lopcorn outside with a spade. There's nothing around here but one crumbling stone tower. Lopcorn makes a snowball and gives me a “wanna play” look. I give him a wide-eyed “Please don't” look, and he desists. I get started shoveling big lumps of snow into the tank. I let Lopcorn take over when he offers since I'm getting tired, and in about one second he's got the thing filled. A seagull shows up and starts making weird noises.

“Sorry, is this your snow?” I ask. The bird just squawks in no kinda real language and flies away. “Jeez, what's wrong with him?”

Anyway, that's planet Earth. We get back in and I fire up the engines. As soon as we take off there's a loud ripping metal sound and a heavy thump.

“Did you retract the intake?” Lopcorn asks. I think about it, but I don't remember.

“I don't remember. I'll check.”

I check and it looks like the water tank got ripped out cause it was stuck in the snow. Luckily, about half a cup of H2O had made its way into the pipes so I was able to rinse my mouth. But now we are out of water again, 100%. I thought my shipmate might panic but he just sat against the wall and put his headphones in. He looked completely at ease.

“We'll have to do a little pit-stop,” I say to Lopcorn.

He nodded and said “Mmhm.” “Sodapool is close. Or Hyde Station, but it's full of Tax Cats.”

“Hyde station sucks. Sodapool's being searched for terrorists, the garrison won't let anyone land.”

“Oh, uhh how about Orcavíbora Station? Party central this time of year. It's two hours away though, how thirsty are you?”

“I'll make it,” he says.

In six hours we arrive. A big place like this - I can't imagine them not having a water tank compatible with my spaceship. I try to fax the visitor's center to connect me with a mechanic but the network is down. I am detecting ZUD particles in those upper domes. The rest of the station is a mixed psy/normie population.

Aahh I don't like spinning signs like this. I end up going in the wrong way - occasionally. Looks like the courier's discount parking they used to offer is gone, unless you're hauling foodstuffs. I was hoping to stay by the gate but we're gonna have to find a spot way lower.

It's really loud in here. Electric guitar and thundering copper drums echoed fore and aft. The two-week-long Festival of Year's End was in full swing, and the music would not stop until January 1st dawns. The daily feasts must be austere compared to traditional glut of fatcakes, foi tong, miguelitos, hot nachos, cold nachos, steamed butter, and jam crust. This year they're eating freeze-dried kelp and hornwort like the rest of the world, but prepared with special effort and artful presentation. Apparently the hungriest five million or so inhabitants of the station had been rioting right up until the first day of the festival, but the seasonal mood took over and no one could resist the non-stop concerts, carnivals, parades, household fêtes, weddings, games, and every other kind of noisy debauched merrymaking. Humans wore their hair Gibson-n-Glitter style. Dogs groomed themselves in a purely local fashion, with all their fur gelled forward. Snakes were done up with white carnauba lipstick and rainbow scalepaint. Glass jewellery manufactured to resemble uncut carnelian and citrine gemstones abounded on toes, tails, fingers, and ears.

We got a pretty lucky parking spot (3 hour limit) on the edge of the cheapest commercial dock just as a karaoke barge full of flamingos took off. I got a physical copy of the services index and found directions to a nearby garage. It was closed, but when we knocked, a ferret emerged from the little house on top of it and invited us upstairs. It was a low-ceiling modular dwelling probably meant for snakes. The mechanic's family was clustered around the kitchen table watching a pop-rock broadcast. They greeted us warmly and the grandma demanded to dance with Lopcorn. He was a good sport and indulged her while I explained to our host about the repairs we needed done. She was taken aback.

“Today? During the carnival? I am sorry. No one's gonna put in a water tank for you today.”

“Oh,” I said. It would be bad to get stuck here. There's gonna be a cataclysmic fine if I run out the parking meter. Besides, I'm on a serious mission. “Please do it?”

She sighed. “I'm spending time with my family tonight. If you can get us a party-size tub of coconut ice-cream, then AFTER supper I'll help you out. And I'm charging you double! That work for you?”

It'll have to do. Me and my bodyguard begin a systematic search of the station for ice cream. All the confectioners laugh when we ask for something so fancy. The nearest approximation available seemed to be blanched lakegrass in sucralose, molded into fun shapes like Oval or Circle. Someone offered us frosted seaweed cream that was about 1/8th real dairy for a staggering &49.99R per scoop. Yikes. It took a bit of running around but finally we found a beagle who could help.

“I can make it,” he began. “But it'll cost you. A party-size will take all my leftover coconut powder. I might have the last jar in the city. It's priceless.”

“Oh gosh. How much do you want for it?”

“I want a ticket to the ballet. I know – it's gonna take a miracle. But what you're asking for is crazy. This is fair.”

“OK it's a deal,” I decide. “Get cooking, we won't be long.”

So we start another adventure to get a ballet ticket, but they're completely sold out. The long-awaited performance of anaconda ballerina Ssssssusan Sssisisis is tonight's hottest event. A wrinkled human we meet says he'll give us his ticket but he wants a brand new TV (television) for it so he can still see the show. We go to the television store which is (of course) closed. I fax their email and reach the owner who is bedridden with a swing dancing injury. They'll give us any TV we want if we bring them a bottle of ibuprofen.

So we start an ibuprofen adventure which is weird because I thought painkillers were free. The hospital stopped giving them out. We track down a python who's got a stash but he'll only trade some for a skateboard. To get that, we need a barbecue. And for that, a xylophone. And for that, a DVD burner.

Jeez, this day.

Walking briskly, we find the sketchy computer place we were tipped about and step inside. It's dim and stuffy.

“ผบ” rasps somebody. Lopcorn halts. His arm comes up defensively in front of me. His demeanor suddenly shifts. For some reason right now I recall he's killed at least 1,000,006 people. Behind the counter of the little shop is a big badger. The off-white glow of a computer monitor hit his face at an upward angle. The effect was ghoulish. Sundry computer parts and sugary desserts covered every inch of his desk. “Didn't expect I'd ever see you again.”

“Hey man,” said Lopcorn. His voice was level and controlled, but his posture screamed alertness and energy.

“You here to kill me?”

“Nope.”

“Ah... Just in case...” The badger poured out a cup of whisky from a dainty crystal decanter. He gulped down about half. There was so much sweetener in it that it was thick as syrup. “Are you selling that lemur? I might know someone.”

“No.”

“Pity. Introduce me then.”

“This is Rolando, who used to work with me.” said the hare.

“Just as a network tech,” Rolando told me. “I sat by the fax machine while Commander Lopcorn went on his rampages.” He turned to Lopcorn. “I laughed when I heard Bookbean died. Good fucking riddance. Wish I had been there. You see the news tonight? La Soup got killed too. I hope Welker's next.”

“Is that so?” Lopcorn sounded impassive.

“And someone tried to get Felix Rølvag. Botched the job though - only blew up his body double. It's not on the news yet. I'll tell you who did it if you wanna know.” Rolando finished his drink and started munching on churros. “What's this secret mission you're on?”

“Just taking a letter to Clockmarsh,” I tell him. Lopcorn cringed.

Rolando arched an eyebrow. “Right. What are you doing here then?”

“We need a skateboard xylophone,” I said.

“Uh-huh.” Rolando took a piece of custard-stuffed-squash and bit off half of it. “Are you sure you're not here to kill me?”

“I told you, no.” Lopcorn stepped forward and took the whiskey away as Rolando was about to reach for a refill. “There's been a big leak, I'm guessing? Is the Floom Report out?”

“I've got...” Rolando began, reaching under the counter. He procured a second whiskey bottle. “...more of those." He refilled his cup. "Minister La Soup's cybersecurity system isn't running so well - with him being dead. No, the Floom Report is not out, but everything else is. I made more money yesterday ripping government data than I made in all my years in the army. Ever hear of the Zag-IX Census?”

“Zag-IX was evacuated when they found weird radiation or whatever.”

“I found a list of survivors. I wouldn't have noticed it but it's the second most heavily protected file I've ever seen. You'll see why. Here, have a copy.” Rolando flicked a .ZIP over to both our phones.

My eyes glaze over at this kinda stuff. Lopcorn is scrolling through documents intently. Rolando watches him.

“Could this be fake?” Lopcorn asked.

“I was going to ask you that. Gault never brought this up while you were commander? Her and Welker are desperate to get a pet mutant from Zag-IX to fight the aliens, people say.” Rolando leaned forward a little. “But I think it's about you. President Gault's popularity is going down the shitter. She's afraid Berg or his friends will overthrow her if they can get you on board; there's no one that can physically stop you. So she wants a monster.”

“She's a dumbass to worry about that.”

Rolando's jaw tensed. “That's true. You'll just follow your orders no matter what they do to you. You're happy to be the lowest pawn.”

“I get less of the bad karma now.”

“How nice for you,” said Rolando wryly. His eyes were full of bitterness. He slumped over then, and heaved a deflating sigh. He glanced down at his snacks, like he was thinking about what to have next. Then he broke the sound barrier, launching himself at Lopcorn with so much force that the whole building shook. He went straight for the throat. But Lopcorn was even faster and caught him in an instant, locking the badger's claws in his grip. Oh gosh, here comes the decapitation, I think. I look away... And I see a party-size tub of coconut ice cream on the end of the counter.

“Oh! May I have that?” I ask.

“Sure, I don't give a shit,” Rolando spat. Lopcorn let go of him and he sat back down. I pick up the ice cream. I can barely lift the thing. “Thanks,” I say, but he's ignoring me.

“You fucking idiot. You should have listened to me on Bolo Gamma,” Rolando chided, his voice choked by fury and helpless regret. “You're shit. Get the hell away from me, or I'll gut your little friend. I'm gonna piss on your fucking grave when this is all over. Get out of my sight.”

“I-”

“Parking meter, parking meter!” I whisper very loudly, nudging Lopcorn out the door, leaving Rolando with his liquor and junk food.

Jeez. Anyway. We hurry back to the garage and surprise the ferret mechanic with the ice cream. True to her word, she installs a beautiful new water tank for me. Her family insists we sit with them for dessert and watch the live broadcast of the snake ballet. That dancing anaconda put on a really beautiful show. I never saw anyone dance like that before. It was entrancing. My guard was looking at his hands the whole time, I don't think he saw even five seconds of it.