#‘you’ll love me like a god I’ll betray you like a man’ vibes | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

theshelbyclan · 4 years ago

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Bells and Smoke

Summary: The youngest Shelby has to be send away to a convent, but you have no intention of conforming to their rules, even if you’ll die in the process

(Gif by @harmon-jane-black) A/N: Requested by anon: Could I request a Shelby sister where she is sent off to a boarding school and is getting badly bullied by teachers and pupils for being what they think is Birmingham poor scum. Maybe she comes home or gets visited and is losing her Birmingham accent and is a little thin and tired. V Polly and tommy nun scene vibes. Only if you aren't busy ❣️ x This has gotten really long, but this request gave me SO many ideas! Warning for abuse and neglect though. And I hope you like it!

Words: 6020 *** You couldn’t remember how it had all happened. One minute everything seemed to be fine and the next, life as you knew it had ended. Maybe it was Tommy’s idea, to give you the opportunities the others never had. But he never cared much about his siblings’ education. Maybe it was Arthur’s idea, thinking you’d finally become too wild. But he was too busy fighting his own demons. Maybe it was Aunt Pol’s idea, making a woman of style and class out of you. But she’d never abandon you like this.

All you knew was that one morning you had been in bed. As usual, you’d woken up with the workers as the factory whistles sounded, but there was no need for you to get up at five. So you’d turned around and tried to sleep on. But then Finn had come in and he roughly shook you awake. “Aunt Pol says you have to get up,” he had said, his voice filled with urgency. But you hadn’t been awake fully yet, “What… Why? It’s so early!” “You have to pack.” “For what? Where are we going?” Your brother had refused to meet your eye, “Not me. Just you.” And before you knew it, Aunt Polly had taken you and your small bag into the car and you were speeding out of Birmingham. At least Finn had come along, though Polly had forbidden him to go, but he had been adamant. “Where are we going?” you had whispered to him in the back. He had hardly replied to any of your question, but gave evasive answers like, “Away. Pol says it won’t be forever.” You remembered the all-encompassing feeling of loneliness that had washed over you in that moment. Was it something you had done? Were you being punished? Was the family giving you up? You were only fifteen, you’d never been away from Small Heath without any of your siblings by your side, and the separation had been too abrupt, too cruel. Suddenly, Aunt Polly had swerved to the right and stopped abruptly in front of the train station. “Get you bag,” she’d ordered you. Anger had flared inside of you, “No! You tell me where I’m going first!” “Y/N Shelby, I am your aunt and you will do as I say. Remember who you’re talking to and don’t think for one second that you will win this fight. Grab your bag and get out of the car.” Petrified at your aunt’s tone of voice, you’d gotten out of the car. And like a zombie, you’d walked over to the train. On the side it said Oxford. “Where do I get off?” You’d asked no one in particular. “Oxford,” your brother had never left your side, “Just sit tight until the end.” “You know what’s going on.” “I can’t change it, Y/N,” his eyes had been pleading for your forgiveness in that one moment, “I tried, I swear to God I did, but I can’t change it…” Not really understanding, you had only been able to nod, “Will you explain it to me?” “I’ll write.” Suddenly, tears had begun to fall from your eyes. The great unknown hadn’t even scared you that much, but the sudden realisation that everything had been altered had. “Here,” Finn had nudged you, as you’d hoisted your bag on board, “I nicked this for you,” and he’d handed you a hipflask, “might get you as far as Oxford. After that, you’re on your own.” His words had hit you hard, so there’d been nothing left to do but take a swig from the whiskey he offered. “What did I do wrong?” you’d asked him, uncertain. “Nothing. Don’t let the bastards tell you otherwise. You did nothing.” His voice had been so strong then. “Finn?” “Yeah?” “You can’t fucking write.” He’d burst out laughing and you couldn’t help yourself but join him. Then the train had started to depart and you’d taken one last look at the car with Aunt Pol’s silhouette inside. You’d turned to Finn and it’d been like you would never see him again. “Finn?” “Yeah?” “I bloody love you, you know?” He’d smirked, “I fucking love you too.” Eyes still locked, the train had started to move and just before it was too late, he’d added, “I’ll make sure you’re coming back home.” You’d clung to those words *** At five in the morning, the whistles sounded. Waking up this early was now your habit, as it was the habit of all the girls here. Like robots, you all climbed out of your sober beds, to put on your drab grey dresses and to stand neatly next to year beds. The dormitory looked like a prison cell and the girls’ faces were ashen. Shivering in the cold, you waited for inspection. “Adams!” “Yes, sister.” “Lee!” “Yes, sister.” “Williams!” “Yes, sister.” The first voice rang through the room like the bells of hell and the girls answered in meek tones. This was your morning ritual and there was no comfort to be found in it. Silently, you waited, while a part of you still dreamed of the horses you once loved and rode. Remember the freedom you felt, you told yourself. Remember the wind in your hair? The people who cared? The place called home? Remember Finn running alongside you? “Shelby!” You suddenly looked up, “Yes, sister,” and faced the nun who’d stopped by your bed. “What’s this?” she asked her rhetorical question. “My bed,” you weren’t supposed to answer, but it had escaped you before you could stop yourself. The middle-aged woman crouched down and tore up the neat bedding you’d just finished tucking in perfectly. Locking eyes with you, she gloated, “Look, it isn’t made properly.” “It was,” you replied through gritted teeth, “you just went and fucked it up again.” Without a warning, she struck you across the face hard. Then she flipped over the bed in one smooth motion and said, without any emotion, “Do it again.” Seething with rage, you counted to ten in your head. In your mind, you went back to Small Heath. You could feel the warmth of the fire in your kitchen, hear the men counting the money and could smell Aunt Polly’s cooking. This and only this was how you managed not to explode. “Ankins!” she continued her list. “Yes, sister.” “Elliot!” She was new here and you looked at her without turning your head, a skill you’d mastered in recent weeks. Some of the girls said she’d gotten pregnant, but she’d lost the baby before coming here. No one really knew what had happened to her. You only thought she looked too young, too fragile, like a little bird that could be squashed with a single movement of the hand. “Yes…” she mumbled, practically inaudibly. “Speak up, girl!” She hardly increased her volume, but repeated, “Yes, sister.” Just as you’d promised yourself you’d try to look out for her, evil incarnate turned around to face you again and snapped, “Shelby. You’ll report to my office after you’ve finished making your bed, properlythis time.” Great, you thought. After she’d left, you looked at your hands in resignation. Faint white lines betrayed the cane that had been on them. They’d only just healed. *** A few months earlier, Tommy was meeting a man dressed in black in an alleyway. As the rain was pouring down on Small Heath, they spoke in urgent whispers. “What did she do this time?” the concerned brother said with a slight hint of annoyance in his voice. “Theft, mainly,” the other replied, “And she was seen at the races, leaving the scene of the murder.” Tommy knew his sister hadn’t been responsible for the death that day, but none of it mattered now, “How much do they know?” “Enough.” Tommy took another drag of his cigarette and paused for a second, “Well, what do they want?” “Nothing. Leverage.” “Fuck…” “Thomas,” the informant urged, “Get her out. Out of Small Heath, and do it fast.” “Where the fuck is she supposed to go?” He shrugged, “Don’t you have family some place else?” “Can’t protect our Y/N when she’s away from here,” Tommy said coldly, not betraying the emotions he felt. “Then send her somewhere she will be protected.” Tommy sighed deeply, “I’ll ask Pol, eh? She’ll know what to do.” The man looked at Thomas Shelby: gangster, businessman, brother. His face was impossible to read and his feelings remained hidden. So he said, “Do it tonight, Thomas, if you can. He said she’d hang for it. Get her out.” ***

The first time you had tried to escape you didn’t think about it. You hadn’t even planned it and had just decided to run. With two nuns hot on your heels, you’d raced through the corridors. Pretty soon, you ran into your first locked door. You knew all was lost there and then. “Shelby…” the mother superior had mused as you stood in her office, “I knew it would be you.” “And how the fuck would you know that?” you’d replied quick as a flash. “You watch your tone, filthy rat,” she’d shouted, but added calmly, “We know of your kind, child.” Through gritted teeth, you’d questioned, “And what kind would that be?” “Gypsy scum,” she’d spat, before beating you senseless for the first time. The second time you tried to escape, you’d thought it through more. In the middle of the night, you’d crept out of bed and tiptoed across the dormitory. “Get back in bed!” one of the girls had whispered, “Remember last time?” “Yeah, I fucking remember, that’s why I need to leave!” you’d whispered back, voice filled with urgency.

Two hairpins. The day you’d found those were the day you’d planned your second escape attempt. Because if growing up in Small Heath had taught you one thing, it was how to steal and lie and cheat. And, coincidentally, how to pry open any lock. The first locked door was conquered quickly, but the second one had proven to be more troublesome. The large black doors that were said to protect you from the outside world did their job of keeping you all caged inside. The hairpins were too small to reach all the tumblers. Cursing under your breath, you’d soon realised that you disappearance had been noticed. In a panic, you’d grabbed a chandelier from the chapel and broken a window. Ignoring the shards you’d climbed through, while they tore at your skin and blood stained your nightgown. Once outside, the fresh air had an intoxicating effect on you. But you’d never gotten far. Again, you were brought to the mother superior, who stood waiting eagerly this time, cane in hand. “Go on,” you’d urged, full of defiance, “Beat me and get it over with.” “No…” she’d said suddenly, “you will tell me what your plan was first.” “To fucking get out.” “Why would you want to leave this place?” she’d questioned innocently, “Why would you want to leave the house of the Lord, where we only want to offer you safety and education? Where you can atone for your sins and regain your place in heaven?” “I’m not an animal,” you’d replied, “I need to be free.” And with that, the nun had smirked at you, “Free. You want to be free. Well, maybe this will finally break your spirit.” They’d locked you up in the cellars for three weeks. Darkness had enveloped you, only broken when she came in to beat you or feed you. You could never be sure. After every beating, she’d say, “Now, I’ll pray to God for you and ask him for his forgiveness.” “I’ll do it myself,” came your steady answer each time, “I’ll deal with him on my own.” And in the dark you’d cling onto the black Madonna around your neck, the only mother you still had left in this Godforsaken place. Now, some girls would be broken by now, but not you. If anything, you’d been more determined than ever to get out. But you had to be smart about it. Maybe Aunt Pol wouldn’t take you back and maybe you’d shame Tommy, but Finn would look out for you. Running hadn’t worked so far, so a new plan had started to form in your mind: a new plan that involved the boy that delivered the bread. Because as the days droned on after you were being released, you started paying attention to the delivery boy for the first time. You knew he’d always had a thing for you, but you weren’t interested. As a way out, you were now extremely interested. “Hi,” you greeted when it was your turn to help him unload. He was so startled by your talking all of a sudden, all he could manage was, “Bread…” “Yeah,” you smiled your prettiest smile, “Bread. That’s what you’re here for, right?” “I am.” “Good,” and you continued to unload the crates, sending him a few glances over your shoulder. He was still rooted to the spot, so you decided a bit more effort was required in this case, “You only come here for the bread?” you asked with humour in your voice. “Well, that’s my job…” he almost stuttered, but when you made eye contact, he finally relaxed a little, “What else would I come here for?” “Me?” you asked innocently. You could tell his confidence was growing, “Well, maybe a little. I mean, you are the prettiest girl in the school.” That was easy, you thought. So you flirted on and chatted him up and soon he was all yours, “Your name’s Billy, right?” “Yeah.” “Well, Billy. I need a favour…” This plan was a lot more complicated but it had a higher chance of success. And it would’ve worked too, if it hadn’t been for the younger nun who’d spotted you talking to Billy. Before the third attempt had even taken place, you found yourself back at the office. This time, the mother superior didn’t even speak. As soon as you were marched in, she’d grabbed you by your hair and attacked you with a pair of scissors. “Get off me, you crazy bitch!” you screeched, as strands of your hair fell down left and right of you. But the old nun remained completely calm in her tone, while becoming increasingly vicious in her attack, “Do you know what we do here?” You clenched your jaw for the pain, because this was no longer just about cutting your hair, but also hurting you as much as possible in the process. You had about a thousand replies to her question, but quickly weighed your options and decided not to piss off an angry old nun with a deadly weapon in her hands. So she continued, “We offer you the gift of education. Through hard labour, lots of prayer and penance the girls can find their way back to Jesus Christ. By humbling yourself, denying yourself rest, food and drink even, and working beyond human endurance one may come closer to our Lord. Save yourself from eternal damnation.” “No, thanks,” you replied inaudibly. When your hair had been cut, she crowed, “Your arrogance has been defeated and your vanity has been lifted. You will do well here now.” The fuck you would.

*** “Aunt Pol?” “What?” the woman snapped. He faltered, “Is this a bad time?” “It’s never a good time. Speak up, Finn.” “Fine,” and he took in a deep breath, mentally preparing himself, “When’s Y/N coming home?” Aunt Polly turned around abruptly and said, “For fuck’s sake, Finn.” “It’s been months!” “And we haven’t heard from her,” with a large gesture, Aunt Polly threw some more wood onto the fire, “If something was wrong, she would’ve written.” “Well, no…” her nephew started protesting. “Yes,” his aunt interrupted him, “She’s fine. It’s Y/N. She can take care of herself.” “She can’t now, can she!” Finn suddenly erupted, “Yousend her away and for fucking what?! She didn’t do anythingwrong!” Polly held up a menacing hand, “You mind your fucking tone or I’ll slap you back to where you came from.” “I’m sixteen, Aunt Pol, same age as Y/N. Remember, we’re twins?” He’d only gotten more heated, “Something’s wrong. I can feel it, alright? And she wouldn’t write to you anyways, because you’re the one that send her away! Why would she write to someone who doesn’t even fuckingwant her?” Polly paused for a moment and seemed to calm down, “What do you mean you feel it?” “I just know, Aunt Pol, like when we were little and she fell in the Cut and I couldn’t breathe? It’s like that, only… longer.” She put down her black cigarette, “You’ve been dreaming, haven’t you?” “I dream about her, but I can never see her,” he nodded, “And sometimes…”

“What?” “It’s stupid…” “Finn, you tell me, right now!” everything about her was focused on the urgency of the situation now. But he didn’t understand, “Seagulls, alright? I keep dreaming about seagulls.” “Fuck,” his aunt whispered to herself, “I need to talk to Tommy.”

“Aunt Pol, you’re missing the fucking point!” he was seething again, “I was trying to talk to you about Y/N! I just want to know why you send her away and whenshe’s coming back!” “I didn’t send her away. Tommy said we didn’t have a choice,” she grabbed her coat and continued talking to herself, “I thought she’d be safe there…” “Isn’t she?” Finn asked, panicking as a result of his aunt’s strange behaviour. “Seagulls, Finn, fucking seagulls!” *** You couldn’t understand why they hated you so much. At first it had just been the nuns, and you had a vague notion of them calling you ‘gypsy scum’ had something to do with it. From the start, they’d commented on your accent, reminded you of where you came from and told you that you were nothing compared to the others girls here. And in a way this made sense: on the one hand this school had the outward appearance of being an institution of learning for young ladies, but the reality was very different. Parents who no longer wanted to deal with them or who had ‘shamed’ their families often dumped girls here. Others were orphans. Either way, the nuns collected the large amount of money paid for each girl and treated all of you badly. And you weren’t a complete idiot and you knew you were partially to blame for the situation as it was now. You knew you hadn’t made a great entrance when you walked into the school, but even from the start they had disliked you. But your resistance had made it worse, much worse. All the girls were treated harshly, had to work and were kept in line, but you were being treated like a slave held captive. There was zero intention on your part to come into the school to make friends. From the moment you’d stepped off that train, you’d decided you were done with people. All you wanted was your brother, and the rest of the family if they still wanted you. But after a few weeks, you had started craving some connections and you had tried to make friends with the other girls. But it soon became clear that you had very little in common with them. This however, wasn’t the main problem: they feared you. Your defiance made them anxious to be around you and receive similar punishments to yours. They kept away. “Elliot!” you whispered to the new girl, who was crying in the dark. You rolled onto your other side in bed to face her and tried to ask her gently, “What’s your name, your first name I mean?” After a few residual sobs, she said softly, “Anna.” “I had a cousin called Anna,” you smiled at her, “Why are you crying? Who do you miss?” “It’s not who I miss, it’s about who doesn’t miss me…” “How do you know…” you started, but you were interrupted. “Don’t talk to her!” another girl called out and Anna turned around to look at her. The girl continued, “Yeah, I’m talking to you. Don’t talk to Y/N. She’ll get you in trouble. Just… stay away from her.” Anna looked at you for a few seconds, eyes filled with fear and then she turned onto her other side. You couldn’t even blame her really. She was new. But slowly, it only got worse. All the girls crossed the halls when you passed and not only did they begin to shun you, but they started taking your things, stealing your food at times and made you an outcast in every sense of the word. And you suddenly understood: if they made you stand out even more, all the attention would be drawn to you. The nuns would leave them alone. You were the easy scapegoat, because you’d been the most likely choice from the start. And as the months wore on, you started to wither away. Jealous or full of hatred, you couldn’t tell, but the other girls tried to hurt you as much as the nuns did. You were cold at night because they’d taken your blankets. You didn’t eat because you were being punished. You didn’t sleep because you were locked up downstairs and the beatings kept you awake. And so you fell ill, heavily. After you recovered, you stopped eating, sleeping, fighting. Not because you no longer could, but because the loneliness had finally caught up with you: you no longer wanted to. *** Tommy watched his aunt as she strode over towards him. He’d known the woman for years and usually he would be annoyed by her interrupting his meeting, but by the way she walked, he knew she wouldn’t wait for anyone right now. “Get out,” she told the man Tommy had been talking too. He left at once. “It’s Y/N,” she said as soon as he’d gone, “We need to get her out.” “She’s at the school, the one you recommended, Pol. You told me she’d get a good education there.” “We were wrong, Thomas, wrong to send her away.” “What’s all this, eh?” he frowned, “We had no choice and she alright where she is. We took care of it.” With a wave of her hand, Polly referred to Finn, “He feels she’s in danger.” And Tommy turned to his youngest brother, raising his eyebrows sarcastically, “Is that right?” “I have a bad feeling, Tom…” Finn said uncertainly. “He’s been dreaming of seagulls,” Polly emphasized, locking eyes with her nephew. “Fucking seagulls…” he rubbed his head, “More gypsy witchcraft?” Swiftly, she slapped Tommy across the face, “You’ve forgotten where you’re from.” Quickly, Tommy’s face went through a range of emotions. First there was anger and the urge to strike back. Then there was the reaction of wanting to hide, like he was being chastised just like when he was little. The hurt over her comment came next, swiftly followed by a sense of shame, because she was right. His face settled on worry over his youngest sister. “What do we do?” “What will happen if we get her back to Small Heath?”

Tommy lit a cigarette and thought out loud, “Connor wants her dead. He has high influence in the police and he’s using her as leverage, after having seen her at the races.” “Y/N didn’t kill that soldier!” Finn called out, full of indignation. “Yes, we know…” Tommy said in a low voice, “But that doesn’t fucking matter because no one’s going to believe our word for it against his.” “Who else knows?” Polly continued. “My guess is no one does yet…” “JOHN!” Polly howled suddenly and for a second Tommy could only blink. Then he continued, “If anyone else knew, we’d heard by now. I’m guessing he intends to save the information for when he can use it.” Aunt Polly bend down and started unlacing one of her boots. That’s when John walked in and he immediately paused when he felt the tension hang in the air. “Take this,” she ordered him and handed him the small revolver that she kept hidden in her boots, “Shoot Connor.” “Fucking what?” he nearly spit out his toothpick. John looked at Tommy for an explanation, but it didn’t come. Instead Tommy asked Polly, “Then what?” “We go to Oxford.” Tommy nodded slowly, “John, go on. Shoot the man. Get Arthur out of bed when you’ve done it.” Shrugging like it was just another small task he had to fulfil without much enthusiasm, John walked off with the gun in hand. But Finn said carefully, “What if I was wrong?” “Have you ever been wrong about your sister?” Aunt Polly asked, “Apart from that time you thought she was in love with that Jewish boy…” “No.” “Trust your gut, Finn,” Tommy confirmed, “Pol’s right.” Aunt Polly smiled at him with an almost motherly warmth, “Let’s bring Y/N home.” *** Eventually you were moved to the hospital wing of the school. The neglect and lack of food had caused your body to shut down and you could no longer force yourself to get up each morning. At first, you were branded lazy and got punished for it. Finally, even the nuns acknowledged this was serious and the last thing they needed was another girl dying at their school. You’d lost all feeling for days, drifting in and out of sleep. One nun took care of you and she was different from the others. During your hazy periods, she tried to persuade you to eat, but with the last strength you did have, you refused. If you were to die, it’d be your own choice. “Y/N…” someone whispered to you gently. You tried to open your eyes, but it felt like lifting bricks with muscles you did not have. “Y/N,” the voice said again, and you realised this wasn’t the nun. Slowly you opened your eyes and saw Anna, sitting by the side of your bed. “What do you want?” you croaked. She looked down and said, “I came to see you.” “Why?” “Because I’ve made a mistake.”

You didn’t care for her feelings. You knew she despised you just like the others did and you didn’t need another girl gloating by your bed. So you decided to just wait and not answer her. “The girls told me you were scum,” she continued, “that you didn’t belong here. They said that’s why you always got into trouble, because you’re just Birmingham working-class trash.” Great, you thought, and how is this supposed to help? “When they told me to not talk to you, I listened. I thought it would help, that I would fit in more and the nuns wouldn’t beat me like I saw them do with others. But I was wrong.” “The nuns don’t need a reason,” you replied before you could stop yourself, “Reasons help, but they will find a way to vent their cruelty, no matter what.” “That night,” Anna said, “you talked to me and asked me who I missed. You were the only one that asked me why I was crying.” “I didn’t want you to feel too alone…” Anna nodded, “I know. That’s why I’m here.” But you didn’t understand, “Why are you here?” “Y/N. You’re not alone. Tell me, who do you miss?” Much to your own annoyance, tears welled up in your eyes. For last couple of months you had tried so hard not to think of Finn, Arthur, John and Ada. And you tried to ban Polly and Tommy especially from your mind, always wondering why they didn’t want you. Your heart can be cruel like that: those who don’t want you, you miss the most. Anna took your hand in hers and for the first time you felt another human being without pain. And so you started telling her of your brothers, of your aunt, of the horses and factories and of the streets of Small Heath. Anna didn’t say a word, but she listened intensely. After you’d cried all your tears and there were no more stories left to tell, all she said was, “Please. Eat.” When she offered you soup, you ate. *** It was a sight to behold: Polly Gray walking through the city of academia with four brothers practically having to run after her to keep up. When she arrived at the front doors of the convent, she didn’t ask to come in, but simply walked on into the halls. “Aunt Pol,” John ventured, “What do we do?”

“Keep up,” she said simply. Arthur looked around nervously. He didn’t like nuns and convents. But Tommy and Finn scanned every room and corner for you. Left and right, girls looked up in surprise as the strange family invaded their home. “Who’s that?” they whispered. But the nuns urged them away and said, “No one. Don’t look at them. They don’t belong here.” Tommy frown deepened as he noticed the faces of the girls. These weren’t what he expected. Of course, he wasn’t familiar with schools like this one, but he knew education played a part. These girls all looked tired, downtrodden and most of them were cleaning or scrubbing the floors. He shared a look with Aunt Polly and she nodded in understanding. “How are we going to find her?” Finn asked. “Oi!” Arthur called out to one of the girls, who jumped up at his voice, “Y/N, you know her?” “No, sir…” she shook. “Listen to my voice,” John added, “What about a girl who sounds like me?” And then one other girl stepped forward and she tilted her chin up high as a sign of arrogance, “She’s not here.” “And whyis she not here?” Polly asked pointedly. The girl got nervous, but tried to keep composure, “Because she’s filth and this is a decent school.” Again, Tommy looked around at the skinny girls, all dressed in the same drab depressing dressed, “Decent, eh?” His low menacing voice knocked all the attitude out of her, so she changed her mind, “She was taken to the hospital ward a few weeks ago.” “Where,” Arthur demanded. “North wing,” she gulped.

Aunt Polly marched through the halls like a woman on a mission. Her face bore a gritty look of determination and none of the bells, smoke and threats of a holy place could make her quiver. In fact, God shook as she walked passed.

Still, one nun tried to stop her, but before she could open her mouth in protest, Aunt Polly had pushed her aside and casually commented, “Better get out of the way, sister, you certainly won’t be the first woman of God I’ve knocked down.” When they entered the hospital wing, they walked into another depressing space filled with beds in lines. Most of them were empty, but one nun stood up and walked over to Polly. Her first instinct was to actually knock down this one, but when she saw her soft face, she paused. “Y/N Shelby,” she demanded, “We’ve come to take her home.”

“You’re her aunt?” the nun asked, “She’s asked for you.” “Is she alright?” Finn stepped forward, “What was wrong with her?” “We thought she might not make it. She stopped eating, you see,” the nun explained. John frowned and protested, “That’s not Y/N. She would never refuse food, unless…” Tommy didn’t need to hear the ‘unless’; worry was already eating him alive inside. So he walked around in search for his sister. He found her in a bed, with another girl sitting next to her. His sister was asleep. “Who are you?” Polly demanded harshly. But the brothers couldn’t speak when they saw their sisters. You were too skinny, eyes sunken deep and bruises were still visible on your face. The long black hair was gone. In many ways, it wasn’t their sister anymore, just a shell. The nun answered when the other girl was too afraid to, “This is Y/N’s friend. She came to visit her every day, even though she wasn’t allowed to.” Polly lifted one eyebrow, “Then why did you allow it?” “Anna got Y/N to eat again. She’s the reason she’s alive.”

Anna. Polly walked over to her and carefully took her hand, “You watched over my niece.” “I didn’t want her to feel alone. She felt abandoned, she said…” Anna said in a soft voice. Polly shook her head in an effort to banish the emotions, “Thank you, Anna. You’re a good friend and a guardian angel.” “What did they do to her?” John asked her through gritted teeth. “She was isolated, singled out for being… different.” Anna explained without meeting their eyes, “She tried to fight them from the start, but never won. She kept trying to run away. They beat her, kept her locked up in the cellar, but when the other girls turned on her and she thought she would never leave this place, she just… gave up.” Slowly, Finn had walked over to the other side of the bed. Clumsy but lovingly, he started stroking the hair out of your face. Seagulls, he thought. “Who’s in charge here?” Tommy suddenly spoke. “The mother superior has an office down the hall,” the nun said, “Anna can take you there.” “No,” Anna gasped, “I can’t…” Fear was written all over her face.

“What’s wrong with the office?” Tommy asked her with unusual kindness. “It’s where she…” And in an instant they all understood. So Tommy demanded, “Tell that woman to come here.” “She won’t like it, sir…” “You fuckingtell her to come here,” Tommy spat filled with venom, “Or I will burn this entire place down to the ground, and don’t think for a second I won’t fucking do it.” So the nun with the gentle face nodded and walked off. Somehow, Tommy’s explosion had triggered some old memories in you. Before you were properly awake, you dreamed of being back in your bed in Small Heath. The smell of the factories penetrated your nose and you could hear your family arguing. But when you opened your eyes, they were actually there. You looked at them one by one and stopped at Finn, “You said you’d explain.” “And I will,” he said, “when we get home.” “Am I allowed to go home?” you questioned in disbelieve. Aunt Polly shook her head, “You should’ve never been anywhere else.” “Can’t protect you if you’re not at home…” Tommy added with a slight hint of guilt in his voice. “It’s safe now,” John said, “I’ve dealt with it.” And just the way he said it made you smile a little. “Arthur, John,” Tommy started ordering them in his usual business-like manner, “Take Y/N out of here.” And Arthur lifted you out of the bed into his arms like it was nothing. “Finn, you go with them. Make sure you get her things.” At that, John pulled a gun and Finn nodded solemnly. “What about Anna?” you asked, looking at your friend, “I won’t leave her here.” “Pol and I are going to have a word with the mother superior,” Tommy stated matter-of-factly. You sighed in relief, but Anna still had a look of confusion on her face, “What will that do? She won’t listen to anyone.” “She’ll listen to us, love,” Polly said to her with a reassuring smile that left very little room for arguments, “We’ll make sure of it.” You smiled at Anna too, “This convent will be closed by tomorrow. Trust me.” “We’ll see you at home, Y/N,” Tommy said, “And then we’ll talk.” Just before Arthur walked out of the door with you in your arms, Aunt Polly ran over to you and pressed a kiss on your forehead, “Safe journey, sweetheart.” Then there was just Tommy and Polly left, clearing their faces of all sentiment and hardening their features. Arms crossed, they waited and knew what had to be done, and nothing would stop them from doing it.

“Mr. Shelby, Mrs. Gray?” the hospital nun had reappeared, “The mother superior will see you now.”

***

Masterlist

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sixeyesgojo · 4 years ago

Note

Why do you love Gojo so much? I’m sorry if this question has been asked before

Anon, don't worry about asking twice or even three times...

Are you prepared for this answer though? I don't know how long this answer will be... I'll try to keep it rather short though because otherwise it would entail a full analysis of Gojo's entire character...

TL;DR: Love me a man who's a little yum yum, a little cray-cray and uwu uwu.

Manga spoilers?

The superficial aspects I really like in fictional characters: appearance (especially the hair), the strength and teasing attitude. Gojo just happens to have all three of them.

If I take a look at my MAL favorite character list, I have 9 characters on there and 4 of them have white/silver hair. And yes, all of them are super strong in their respective verse, so at this point the formula is "white hair = strong" in my head.

Gojo is also a tease. I like that about him because he's not over the top where it's just mean, unless he's talking to an enemy or someone he hates.

His confidence is something I admire and long for because I lack it. His sweet tooth is also something I personally vibe with because I, too, have an insatiable sweet tooth.

On top of that... a character voiced by Nakamura Yuuichi-san? How can I say no?

On a rather deeper level?

From the first moment I got to know this man called Gojo Satoru, I just knew that his cheerful character hid something deeper. (Most of the characters I'm drawn to do.)

And of course, my hunch proved to be right: Gojo Satoru is such a deep, complex and multi-faceted character. He's also one of the few characters that are not defined by the series but instead, he defines the series. It's shown in the fact that the enemies wouldn't make a move just because he exists.

On the one hand, we have the goofy teacher that annoys the living hell out of Megumi simply by being himself and regularly giving Ijichi a heart attack. He also seems to be super cocky and pretty close to having a God complex or something like that (before you ask: no, I do not believe Gojo has a God complex but that's a post for another day... maybe).

That's what we all see at first.

On the other hand, if you dive deeper into his character, you'll quickly notice some other things.

First of all, he's a "shitty teacher". Gojo sucks at traditional teaching, alright? In that aspect, I think Utahime and Kusakabe do better. If you think about it though, Gojo does not suck at teaching at all.

He simply nurtures his students in his own, sometimes twisted, way, with the intention of bringing out their highest potential for growth with each mission or task he assigns.

He uses uncommon methods for this but not before making sure the students are as safe as you can be as Jujutsu sorcerer. After all, he treasures his students a great deal (as can be seen in pretty much every interaction he has with Yuji and also when Yuji dies).

I've said he strives to nurture his students' growth, yes, but he's also respectful about it: He expects great things from Megumi, yet doesn't train him but instead waits for the younger one to approach him.

Yuji is a different matter in this case. Gojo - as busy as that man is - takes in the student without judging him for being Sukuna's vessel and chooses to personally supervise his growth as a sorcerer when he didn't have to - it just adds one more burden onto his already stuffed plate - yet he did. Because he cares. He cares about not unnecessarily throwing another life away (Yuta + Yuji). And he cares about Megumi's opinion or else he wouldn't even ask?

As much as caring Gojo goes, he's also very much capable of being unhinged and feral, if there is need (Shibuya).

He doesn't seem like your typical shonen anime hero that protects people/is on the side of 'justice' "because it's the right thing to do", but rather, he recognizes the faults within this so-called 'justice' and tries to uproot the cause of it. He's capable of thinking and judging for himself and chooses to constantly go against orders that he doesn't think are appropriate - the execution of Yuta and Yuji are one example. Another one would be him and Geto deciding to call off the merger (and you know how important that was), should Amanai Riko express the desire to live on as a normal teenage girl.

Moreover, the drastic change in character is what makes him interesting as well.

At first, he's a cocky teenager who thinks of himself oh-so-highly, with every right. For the longest time, he believed he was undefeatable, only to be proven wrong in a battle against Toji, a man without cursed energy.

This fall from graces shakes him to his core because what? He's been defeated? And thus, he enters a mindset he probably never experienced before: instability and vulnerability first cloud his mind - and he's not capable of processing it at first, leaving him in a delirious state, to the point where Toji questions himself: "Is this man high?"

On top of all this, his best friend 'betrays' the side he is on and defects; that's gotta be a huge blow mentally... and then he has to finish of said friend as well.

That didn't go without consequences.

After Geto's defection that ultimately lead to death in later years... for the first time in Gojo's life, he displays a weakness that is exploitable, used against him in Shibuya.

His fall from grace is a fall from being the strongest to 'oh, maybe I was wrong'.

Gojo went from being a teenager with no apparent goal to being an adult that wants to change the world to one where his (already deceased) best friend can laugh from the bottom of his heart.

On a more personal note:

Generally, his (pretty easy-going) attitude just makes me happy and has actually brought me comfort in harder times.

Obviously, this manchild is also my biggest muse. I have written fanfiction for other fandoms before but I have never published them but Gojo just makes it so easy, I'm having a lot of fun with his character. Plus, without JJK and Gojo, I wouldn't have come to Tumblr at all and therefore, wouldn't have met the wonderful people I call my friends now 💕

All in all, I love the tragedy in his character as the strongest but his unyielding resolve of staying strong, being strong, being the best he can be. The cruelty he, without a doubt, witnessed over and over again, yet he stays kind and caring throughout all of it. Oh, how easy it would be for him to simply destroy everything? "But nobody would support a mass murderer," he is so big-brained for this.

I don't think there's a single aspect of him I do not love? I really adore this man so much.

And yes, this was rather short and I am sure I missed multiple things but I do hope my answer helped.

Maybe, MAYBE, I will post a full one on another day. But that one would be long as fuck...

#nie answers #anon #why i love gojo satoru #musings #kind of?#gojo satoru #gojo #jujutsu kaisen manga spoilers #manga spoilers #gojou satoru

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burnedbyshoto · 4 years ago

Text

shinsou and the very terrible, horrible, no good, very bad shift

— You, a new sidekick, screw up a case for a Pro Hero Shinsou, and he demands compensation.

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pairing: older!shinsou hitoshi x younger fem!reader

warnings: age gap (shinsou 25, reader 18), nsfw, 18+, pwp, DEGRADATION, power imbalance, spanking, marking, cursing, shinsou is a major asshole, mindbreak, sorta subspace, happy ending for shinsou, depending on person unhappy ending for reader, public sex, dubcon because of power imbalance

word count: 3,892

a/n: happy halloween. this is mean degradation imo like I thought ive done degradation but this made all those look like praise kink. be careful and click out if its too much

kinktober day 20 main kink: degradation | kinktober masterlist

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How you ever forgot that as a high school hero-in-training student, you were a big fish in a tiny pond was beyond you. Well, to be quite honest, you never thought yourself to be a big fish, to begin with.

You were eighteen, a few months from turning nineteen and had just graduated from the hero course over at UA. That in itself was a huge accomplishment, one that you should take with bubbling pride and joy, but to be quite honest, having such a big name attached to you only made you nervous. To tell the truth, you often wondered just why a hero within the top 50 even scouted you to work as an intern with them and then offer you a position as a sidekick as soon as you entered your third year. Still, it seemed to be a common predicament with BMI Hero: FatGum.

Today was your first day on the job, no longer a student part of a hero work-study, but as a physical, government paid hero — a fickle sidekick! You shuddered as you slipped on the shoes to your outfit, your teeth gnawing at your bottom lip as you made your way out of the locker room, ready to report to your first assignment.

FatGum agency was quite a lovely place, loud and warm, being the first two adjectives you thought of when you first joined their ranks. It did wonders for your self-esteem, and seeing newly turned Pro Hero Suneater, who apparently was a million times more of a nervous mess than you were, made you feel oddly in good hands.

But still, nothing could keep you from the shock that ran through your body when FatGum proudly thrust forward a patrol route for you to follow.

“Alright, pipsqueak,” FatGum jovially spoke, his eyes closed while he smiled. “This is your route for the day! It should take about an hour to get through unless anything happens! You’ll go on the route every three hours, and in between those patrols, it’s the same paper system as before! Good luck out there, y/h/n, you got this!”

“Oh my god, no, I do not?!” you spluttered, hands shaking wildly as you went through the folder Fat had so quickly presented. “What if I die?!”

“You’ll be fine. Remember how Deku and Ground Zero complimented you the other day?”

“Yeah!” you exclaim, your face burning with your shame as you remembered that confrontation. “But that only happened because Deku is a living saint, and I spilled my noodles all over him and Ground Zero! Ground Zero was also, by the way, forced to compliment me by Deku! And all he said was that my combat skills were absolutely shitty but not as shitty as he thought they would be!”

“Ah yes, I remember Red Riot discussing how his friend was less than inept at expressing his gratitude,” FatGum hummed in memory, although that dumb, proud smile never left his face. “If I remember correctly, that means he has great respect for you!”

You made a dying noise at the back of your throat.

“But Deku doesn’t lie! He speaks honestly, so all his compliments were definitely true. Now, y/h/n, let's get through this day together, ne?”

You didn’t agree, but that wouldn’t stop him from throwing you out to the streets, your heart hammering in your throat as you walked through the path he used to take you on every day. Your smile was shaky and wobbly as the people you recognized waved and cheered you on. They were all excited to see you on your own.

However, they did point out that you were here an entire hour earlier than usual, but hey! That’s what happened when you went from being a student to trying to function as an adult!

“You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay,” you chanted as you passed by the spookiest alleyway on your patrol.

The hour-long patrol was almost done if your watch wasn’t lying to you: a full patrol and not a single instance of needing to help. Well, you had assisted some people in carrying groceries and holding a child as a mother shopped for dinner that night, but there were no altercations, nothing out of the ordinary.

You marched through the alleyway, your fists in a shaky clenched grip as cold, nervous sweat dripped down your neck.

You were okay, you are okay, you will be okay.

“Nothing to be afraid of! Just a normal, average, no villains insight day!” you spoke to yourself, your body shaking as you pass an opening in the alleyway, and you turn your head to look and freeze.

“Alright, and I don’t want fucking nobody hearing goddamn shit about this drug, got it?!” a man with a quirk that made him look like a blowfish snapped.

Six men stood in the alleyway, all with tall, massive, threatening vibes. You didn’t make a single noise; you knew that for a fact, but their gazes still fell on you the moment the man stopped speaking. A horrible, stupid movie cliche that happened too often in hero life.

Your life probably flashed before your eyes at that single moment, your body and mind instinctively moving to call the heroes before realizing that you were the hero now. What do you do?! What could you do?! Drugs?! Did they have drugs?!

Panicking greatly, you watched their mouths move, but you couldn’t hear them as you took in their faces in a blur. Before you knew it, your mind shut down, and your body took over. You weren’t sure what it was. If you were way stronger than the entire group or if you just had an untapped potential that burst open right now, because you blinked and suddenly there were all thrown onto the floor, busted and bloody and tied up.

You… you did it?!

“Oh my god!” you exclaimed, your hands rising to your mouth as you looked at each and every one of their smushed, dirty faces. “I WON?! I won, oh my god, I won — wait?!”

You stepped over to the purple-haired man on the floor, his mouth stuffed with a cloth fabric you probably shoved in there at some point.

“M-Mindjack-sensei?!” you cried, your excitement of betting this drug handoff simmering off immediately. “W-What are you doing? Were you gonna stop this drug handoff? I — oh my god, let me get this off!” You scrambled to get the restraints off of Shinsou, unaware of the way the other captured men glared at Shinsou, utterly shocked and betrayed as you cleared him.

“Thank you for the capture, y/h/n!” a police officer congratulated you as you freed Shinsou, and you smiled, nodding your head. “Is it just four of them?”

You froze.

You had counted six men at first, and with Shinsou recovered, that made five men.

“I didn’t… I lost one of them?” you deflated, all sense of confidence draining you as Shinsou remained on the floor.

“Ah,” the police officer grimaced, his head shaking before he paused and looked up at you with a halfhearted smile. “Well, you still did good work! We’ll see what drug they were talking about, and if it’s nothing too crazy, they’ll be good to go!”

“Yeah, of course,” you smile weakly, feeling ready to cry as you hold onto your wrist.

“But, uh, who’s the guy on the ground?” he nodded towards Shinsou, who was looking entirely pissed off and ready to bite like some cornered, raging animal.

“Oh, Mindjack!” you respond, hands motioning toward one of the other older Pro Heroes you looked up to.

The police officer stared at Shinsou, an unconvinced look on his face.

“I thought he was… ah, well, old? And didn’t he have black hair?” he muttered before shrugging. You didn’t manage to stutter out your knowledge of the older man with black hair being Eraserhead because he was long gone already, fingers pressed to his radio, chatting with his HQ.

Breathing out a nervous sigh, you turned to Shinsou with a shy and fully apologetic smile. “I am so sorry for hurting you! Are you okay?” you asked, your eyes scanning the older heroes' stance, unable to read anything but annoyance radiating from his body.

“No, I’m not okay, actually,” Shinsou spat, his face finally looking up from the floor, and you felt your throat run thick at the rage and anger simmering from his face.

“W-Wha—” you stammer, taking a step back, overwhelmed.

“You just fucking ruined six months of undercover work,” he seethed, his feet moving to stalk towards you. You found yourself stumbling backward, looking everywhere but at him. You can feel your balance giving; the cold filth of the alleyway wall your saving grace as his fingers grabbed your jaw, forcing you to face him. His purple eyes black in his fury. “I don’t think you realized just how badly you fucked up?! You stupid fucking child!”

A wash of ice-cold realization flooded through you, the horror of what you knew you just did completely dawning on you as tears sprung in your eyes. You felt nauseous, utterly sick to your stomach because this seasoned Pro Hero definitely had shit to do, and you practically shat all over it.

“I am so sorry,” you whimper, pain shooting through you just slightly at the grip he has on your chin. “I am so so sorry, i-is there anything that I c-can do?! How can I-I fix it?!”

“You think I need help from some crybaby?” Shinsou snapped, thoroughly unimpressed by you, his eyes narrowing further. You didn’t even realize you were crying already.

“I-I’m useful, I promise!” you cry a bit more, your body struggling as the older hero trapped you against the wall, his face glowering down at you with the intensity of a million suns. “I-I’m a sidekick over a-at Fatgum’s agency, but, oh fuck, I’m so sorry! I’ll do anything you ask of me!”

There’s a looming silence, a heavy tension as his eyes drop from your eyes to your parted wet lips. He’s much taller than you, and you can feel every heavy breath expelling on your face.

“You think a pathetic, worthless little sidekick is able to do anything for me?” Shinsou snapped, his eyes narrowing as he loomed even closer. “A pathetic fucking bitch like you? I don’t think you can give me even a simple fucking action that would prove your worth.”

The words are hot embers on your ears, making your jaw drop, and your body trembles at the simple degradation. You feel your tears hot on your cheeks, your parted lips invaded by his dirt-covered fingers as he pressed onto your tongue. It had to be the shock of it, the reality of the hot, hard dick pressing into your stomach and the way he was staring at you like some piece of fucking meat, but you gagged around his fingers.

“Why am I not fucking surprised, you goddamn fucking whore,” he sneered, his fingers shoving faster into your mouth, pressing dangerously hard against your tongue, trying to get you to gag and choke around his fingers. “You fucking sure you’re a fucking sidekick? Look at you, pathetic, stupid, crying like a baby in an alleyway? You’re a hero, aren’t you? Fucking save yourself from this, you fucking bitch.”

You violently shake, your hands finding themselves tethered to his shirt, your head shaking nonetheless.

“Oh, you don’t want to save yourself?” He coos, his expression turning the slightest bit amused, maybe a bit possessive, but it lasts a second. You blink, and anger has replaced the amusement, red streaking in his vision. “Why the fuck not?”

“B-Because,” you strangle, your tongue flat against your mouth, your throat instinctively opening and closing against his fingers. “I said I’ll do anything y-you wanted!”

There’s another pause, and you wait pressed against the wall, your chest heaving with your anxiety and weird turned-on state. Shinsou was a Pro Hero, someone who was eight years older than you, someone you had respected since you were in grade school. Yet, here you were, looking nothing more than a slab of meat to him, a hole for him to abuse in his anger because you had fucked up.

“Oh, you stupid fucking slut,” he laughed, his teethed bared into a feral smirk. “You want this, huh. You want to please me any way I see fucking fit, fucking perfect. Turn around.”

There’s no room to argue or think; he turns you around without a second's notice. His hand shoving your chest into the wall, and you cry at the discomfort. He grabs your ass, pushing you uncomfortably into an arched position as he tears your pants down from your legs.

“You’re a worthless fucking cumdump. Not even noon yet, and I’m going use your fucking body however I see fit.” Shinsou promises, fingers raking down your supple ass. Nails tearing into your skin, fingers slapping your covered cunt. “You worthless fucking slut, dirty fucking whore, already goddamn wet.”

“I’m n-not wet!” you cry, hips spasming against his rough hold, and slaps to your aching cunt. You know it’s a lie, you know that clear as day, but it doesn’t keep you from lying. Doesn’t stop you from shivering when he pinches at the cloth of your panties and removes them from your sopping wet folds.

“You think I don’t know if you’re wet or not?” Shinsou growled in warning, his fingers pinching together your soaked folds. An action that makes you cry loudly, the sharp pain too much for you. “You think I’m some fucking idiot?”

“N-No!” you cry, his fingers shifting to where your throbbing entrance is and his other hand going to your mouth, once again claiming your lips as his nails purposefully impose pain on your heated cunt.

“You must think that since you’re lying to me,” he snaps, his mouth pressed to your ear, his hot breaths making your eyes roll to the back of your head. You want to speak up, say something, but his fingers are fucking your mouth, keeping you from speaking back. “But again, you aren’t fucking worth anything, are you? You’re not fucking anything.”

Those words whip against your skin, making you twist in his arms, hot tears pushing past your eyes again as you cry.

“Oh, you don’t like that?” Shinsou comments, his fingers pinching and pulling your tongue, and his hips begin to grind his hot, burning flesh into your ass. “Well, you better stop fucking crying because I’m not gonna stop until I’m fucking done — until I’m fucking relieved. This isn’t about you; this is for me. You aren’t shit, fucking worthless piece of shit whore.”

You sob into the brick wall, the tears unable to be stopped, unable to clear as his fingers that were scraping at your folds begin to fuck you at the same time as he fingers your mouth faster. The sensation of being outside, finger fucked in an alleyway by a Pro Hero you admired and respected beyond comparison, made you tremble with want and need. His cruel, completely degrading words a warm fire in your belly and against your skin.

The sounds of the wet caverns he was currently fucking begin to echo in the wall, his throbbing cock grinding against your ass. It’s a sensation that makes you cry with need, your ass shifting back to feel him more, to get more from the contact he’s giving you.

“Of course some screwup like you likes this shit,” Shinsou grunted, his fingers fishing and rubbing against the spongy warmth of your walls, fingers scraping ever so gently against the velvetiness. You spasm against his touch, your whiney, pleasure-filled noises filling up the alleyway almost as loudly as the choking and the squelching of your pussy.

His hands suddenly leave your mouth, and you’re heaving at the deserted feeling in your mouth. You whip your head around, trying to see just why he had abandoned your mouth, desperate to please him more in any way he saw fit. But instead, you’re met with the sicky coldness of your saliva spread across your face. Almost instantly drying against your face as your still tear-soaked eyes looked into his dark ones.

“Don’t look so fucking sad, stupid cockslut,” Shinsou snapped, his hand that had been fucking your cunt abandoning your warmth and meeting your face. You whined, unable to come up with words as he spreads your slick against your face. A shiver wrecks your spine, a pathetic whimper at the smell, and the feel of the warm thickness of your slick. “You wanted this, fucking asked me to wreck your worthless holes.”

“I-I’m not sad,” you try to defend yourself, your body shaking as you feel the heated warmth of his cock suddenly between the curves of your ass. It presses heavily onto you, skin twitching and throbbing with its emitting warmth and simmering heat.

Shinsou pauses, his eyes deadly and threatening as he glares at you. Unamusement heavy in his gaze, his mouth set in a small, teeth-baring snarl. “Then why the fuck are you crying? You think you deserve to be crying right now? No. You fucking worthless slut, you don’t. You ruined my damn shift, my damn case, I should be the one fucking crying. Your pathetic ass is worthless and tried to make my life the same, and that won’t fucking fly.”

The words tighten at your throat, your body trembling as tears continue to flow. His words are white-hot against your skin, and although it hurts to hear it, your cunt clenches in response, slicking even more.

His hand comes down suddenly onto your ass. The slap sharp and stinging, echoing loudly against the alleyway walls as you scream in pain. It throbs, your back contorting as you try to stretch the skin that makes you ache. But Shinsou spanks your ass again, without warning, his hand unmerciful against your soft, swelling flesh. You yelp again.

He spanks again, and again, and again. Each echoing action sending your voice screaming, counting them without even being told, succumbed to him and his every action and thought without needing to be. He spanks you until your ass feels raw and bloody, the bruises undoubtedly forming as he pinches the folds of your dripping cunt.

“Stick your ass out more,” he growls, tugging at the fold, making you stumble. The cock pressing onto the split of your ass feels heavy, and you twitch at the seeping pre-cum dripping onto your muscled rim. The bricks scratch at your face, and you find your ass wiggling out further from the wall, your back arched more as the cold wall sings through the clothes on your breast. “I’m not gonna put more fucking effort into fucking a goddamn worthless bitch than I should.”

And with that, your ass perfectly exposed for him to use and fuck. His throbbing cock presses through your pussy and slams all the way into you.

There were many pains you were used to as an aspiring hero. You were used to being punched, kicked, stabbed, thrown about, etc. Each of those pains were something you had been taught to make feel better, each pain demonstrated to you so that it wouldn’t be the thing that took you out. But there was no training for the way that his thick cock pressed through your impossibly tight entrance. There was no pain that could relate to the white fire of your rapidly fluttering entrance that was trying too hard to keep up with his slamming thick cock.

“IT HURTS!” you shriek, body twisting, tears flooding your cheeks as you feel weak in the legs. Body moments from falling. “It hurts so much! Please! It hurts!”

“Oh? It hurts? It's supposed to fucking hurt you fucking idiot, fucking whore,” Shinsou snapped in return, his hips firing into even faster than before. His massive body practically caving onto you as his cock rockets into you. Unforgiving, relentless, and with the drive to make him cum. Your vision swirls and spins as the pain reaches its peak, your mouth opening, your voice no longer working. But oh, how the saliva dripped from your mouth as his hands abandoned your waist to grab onto your stretched cheeks. He held onto your cheeks like some gag, slamming your head into his chest so your dazed eyes could stare up at him as his menacing gaze bore down on you. “You think this was supposed to make you feel good? I don’t give a shit if you cum. This is for me. I’m not fucking stopping until I’m done using you, so shut the fuck up.”

Your whimper is soft, no longer able to keep up with the pleasure your body begins to reach as the pain becomes one of pure bliss. Your eyes crossing as every thrust of his welcomed cock drives you further and further up the wall. The squelching of your meeting sexes almost sounds like a nursery rhyme. A pleasant noise that makes you giggle deliriously as Shinsou continues to degrade you continues to spout how insignificant you are.

“Your only purpose in your shit life is to be my fucking cumdump, fucking bitch, do you understand me?” Shinsou spat, his thrusting becoming barbaric, stammering in his power and speed. You laugh, your head nodding as you stare up at him with loving eyes, the drool and tears on your face trailing down your throat, soaking your uniform. “Tell me what your purpose is?”

“To be your cumdump!” you laugh, elation bubbling in your chest, fluttering deep around your cunt until you felt Shinsou’s teeth sink into your throat.

The feeling of hot, sticky cum expelling into your cunt feels like blistering euphoria, his heavy, rough breathing on your skin, making you moan softly. Your own orgasm hits, much softer, much more controlled than his as your walls clamp down like a vice around him. Your orgasm is warm, sounding deep within you that you almost didn’t realize you were dropped to the floor.

A soft, pitiful moan sounds from your lip, your eyes focused on Shinsou, who’s shoving his limp cock back into his pants, but his eyes are on the skyline.

“I-I’m sorry for messing up your… your case,” you rasp on the floor.

Shinsou shifts on his feet, his gaze lingering longer onto the skyline before finally setting onto you. The anger seems to have disappeared, a look of slight boredom but the excitement in his eyes as he leans down over you. You feel breathless when his mouth presses against yours in a short, chaste kiss.

“I think you just helped me keep my cover, slut; maybe you do have some worth,” he laughed against your mouth.

He leaves you there, your body going limp and blackness taking over the moment he disappears.

#shinsou x reader #shinsou smut #bnha #bnha x reader #mha #tw: dubcon #bbs kinktober 2020

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readbythestarlight · 3 years ago

Text

BoBF chapter 7: In The Name of Honor

Oh god here we go

A whole hour huh

I totally forgot the cantina blew up

Hiiiii Boba and Fennec nice to see you again!!

Din standing up for Mos Pelgo ;~;

B: “you are confident he will come”

D: “I am”

Me: *cries because the TRUST*

Also tho god please let Cobb be okay enough show up Din believes in him

Y’all best not get most of Mos Pelgo killed tho

A showdown in a blown up cantina feels a little Mando s1 finale doesn’t it

Also I still don’t like the street kids not sorry

You can’t protect anybody from a blown out husk make it make sense

Fuck off Bane

I’m so worried about Cobb

Oh wow, they killed them. I’m shocked. (Not lol)

Wait

An X-Wing

IS IT LUKE DID GROGU CHOOSE IS HE BRINGING OUR BOY HOME???

BABY

HE CHOSE DIN

I’m gonna cry

God if anything happens to Grogu if he gets out in even the SLIGHTEST danger I will kill

IM GONNA CRY

HE CHOSE DIIIIIIIN

Omg of the little mail shirt saves him at any point I’ll weep and sob

Ah, exposition

They keep saying “when Cobb/the people of Freetown show up” which makes me think they’re not going to. Or like the show wants me to think they’re not going to.

Oh fuck okay

Just shoot him Boba

I hope Din doesn’t find out Bane shot Cobb here it’ll hurt me

You tell him Boba

FUCK

FUCK FUCK FUCK

“You should have never left him without his armor” FUCK

Bane, what’s your play here??

Telling him that??

Boba honey be smart

No baby don’t we al know Filoni won’t let you kill his OC

Boba listen to Fennec

“He killed Vanth” NO HE DIDNT

RIP the biker kids and the Wookie I guess

Wow he got betrayed I’m shocked again (nottttt)

Oh and the Gamoreans too

RIP everyone but Boba and Fennec and Din I guess

Why does all the tension seemed so forced and why am I supposed to care about these street call kids we’ve spent no time with

YEAHHHH FENNEC

But yeah anyway this has such weird s1 finale of Mando vibes

Oh shit this exchange

“I suppose you’ll be heading out.”

“I’m not.”

“You should.”

“It’s against the Creed. I have you my word. I’m with you until we both fall.”

“You really buy into that bantha fodder?”

“I do.”

“Good.”

Din

“We’ll both die in the name of honor.”

Din. Din your son is here Din you can’t.

Din you can’t sign up for a suicide mission

Twi’lek man is going to die

Oh no Boba what did you write

Boba you’re gonna get him shot

Damn Boba that’s poetic

YEAHHHHHH FUCK EM UP BOYS

JET PACKS HELL YEAH

oh this is everything I love this

BOBA

knee missile lol

Okay Din and Boba fighting side by side is so badass. Boba covering Din while he’s down.

WHISTLING BIRDS

Finally some delicious fucking food

Okay so this is where Freetown comes in to save the day right

YEAHHHHH

WEEQUAY

…okay Cobb tho?

Where?

“I’m sorry about the Marshal.”

“Gunned him down in cold blood.”

STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME THINK HE’S DEAD

These low speed speeders are so dumb still I hate them

Yay Wookie

So actually that was a fake out and no one is dead huh

Except he might actually die

RIP Wookie friend

Oh wait no Boba’s gonna save him

And Din

What a team

Oh dear

I’ll take more Boba and Din fighting together but otherwise I feel like no stakes in this fight

DARKSABER YEAH

Oh my god

Boba gonna go get the Tuskens!!

DIN BE CAREFUL YOUR SON IS HERE

PELI NOW IS NOT THE TIME

At least I don’t see Grogu thank god

GEOGU HUG GROGU HUG GROGU HUG

y’all I’m crying

“Hey that’s the shirt. You got the shirt.” Y’all I’m literally weeping.

Din football catching Grogu is adorable

What…

OH HE WENT FOR THE RANCOR

Wait

The baby rancor is suddenly combat ready??

If the rancor dies I will actually care way more than I would if any of the street punks die

YEAHHHH DAEKSABER

Fuck it up Grogu save ur dad

HES SAVING DIN AGAIN

YEAHHHHH BABY

Boba on the rancor is ridiculous and badass all at once lol

I’d say Jo/Punk Girl Whose Name I Don’t Know but I already have Jo with an OC so

lol Peli joining the fight

“Peli’s for you covered” I adore her

SOMEONE KILL THIS BLUE FUCK FOR ME I BEG

Where is Fennec

Kill him Boba do it

I hate this blue fuck seriously

Honestly though I’d like to see more of him as an antagonist to Boba

Fuck you Bane

YEAHHHH FUCK HIM UP WKTH YOUR GAFFI STICK THAT REPRESENTS THE FAMILY YOU FOUND THAT HELPED YOU BECOME SOMEONE OTHER THAN WHO YOU USED TO BE

Holy shit they let him kill him

VINDICAAAAATIIIOOOOOON

Uh stop shooting Boba’s rancor what

Tho is this King Kong scene necessary

He gave Grogu the ball I’m weeping

DIN

Definitely gonna need some recovery time and TLC

Grogu will tame the savage beast

Nappy time awwww

Oh please fuck then up Boba

I still wanna know where Fennec is

OH there she is

Fennec shouldn’t you have let Boba do that?? Why did she get to kill the head Pyke??

If he leaves Tatooine to the punk kids

Grogu in his little bubble 😭

“lmaoooo Grogu wants the zoomies!!”

OH MY GOD

COBB IS IN THE BACTA THANK RIGHT

HE IS

METAL

ARM

COBB??

He had better have consented to that because modifying him without his consent when they could have just healed him first (he was shot in the right shoulder no way was he going to die once they got him in bacta) and then checked.

Also in general I don’t like the mods.

But y’all i’m SCREAMING

Din and Grogu!

And this probably means more Cobb in future?? I’m so torn about how I feel about him being modified tho I hope he looks better than the current “mods” do. Something natural and understated like Fennec.

Also tho Boba should have gotten to kill the head Pyke and avenge his tribe.

And I have no idea where they’ll take Boba and Fennec from here.

#bobf spoilers #the book of boba fett #bobf

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perriwinklesblog · 4 years ago

Text

Depending on the source and interpretation, depends on what God Harpocrates is.

The most common associated we have nowadays is the God of Silence.

However, they also have links to Horus as the Greeks adapted them from their mythology. And even in the Greek mythology and modern mythology this God links to Egypt too.

In some modern occultist groups Harpocrates is known as being a trickster God. Others believe them to be a higher being above others

They have also been described as the embodiment of hope.

Harpocrates is also referred to as the God of Secrets and Confidentiality.

They’re often associated with roses apparently.

So depending on what route route they go down with the link my main candidates are;

Callahan.

Foolish

Hannah

Dream

Captain Puffy

Callahan

When we think of silence, we think of Callahan. He has been around on this server since it’s beginning and often watches the destruction and chaos from the background. Recently, he was there during the Community house confrontation and he watched silently as L’Manburg blew up.

Perhaps, he’s had enough of the corruption on the server. Perhaps Doomsday was the last straw. He may be the God of Silence but perhaps he does not want to sit back and be silent anymore. He has watched the server move from an equal group of people, building a home together, to a hierarchal nation with citizens hellbent on being the most power they destroy the things they claim they love.

Since Callahan watches so much it would make sense that he has picked up a few secrets along the way linking into that.

If Callahan wanted to join in on the lore, this would probably be the way that makes the most sense. It’d also be interesting how this would play out for him.

Reasons why it’s unlikely...

Callahan doesn’t seem to involve himself often. He prefers to watch and chill on the server so it is highly unlikely he would be apart of the lore. No matter how much we beg.

If anything, he’ll show up to whatever chaos happens as a result of the Syndicate.

Likeliness Score: 2/10

Foolish

Whilst Callahan is my personal favourite. This one is one of the most likely to me.

Foolish has his secrets. He’s older than he seems. Seems to know things we don’t. Always dropping hints. He even has secrets underneath his statues. Whilst not necessarily a direct to silence, he has been withdrawn from the egg plot and now recently deciding to take a stand. This could be interpreted as being silent no more.

The involvement in the egg plot is also another reason why this could be him. He admitted to needing to find people to help him take the Egg down.

Harpocrates also has many ties to Egypt and Foolish’s summer home is quite Egyptian.

He’s becoming more involved in the lore and I think this could be a good way to introduce more into the heavy, heavy stuff.

Reasons why it’s unlikely...

Whilst he’s getting more involved in plot, its not necessarily this plot. Also he’s not that fussed about governments. He’s friendly with Tubbo and Tommy and lives in Snowchester.

If he’s already joined the Syndicate, it’d be highly unlikely that Techno hadn’t already known and checked Snowchester out. So the fact that he didn’t, suggests he’s not joined the Syndicate. However, that doesn’t mean he won’t in the future.

Likeliness Score: 8/10

Hannah

HERE ME OUT.

A symbol associated with is the rose! And who is the person on this server strongly associated with roses? HANNAH.

I don’t know much about Hannah and I’ve not seen much of her in the current main plots. She seems to bee involved with a few pranks which ties in with the trickster god aspect of Harpocrates.

Is this how to becomes more involved with heavy lore?

Reasons why it’s unlikely...

I don’t know much about Hannah so i don’t know about her opinions on lore on the server. Many like to chill and vibe on the server, which is equally as valid as the lore so perhaps she’d rather not be involved in the chaos of plots and storylines.

Whilst I think it’d be an interesting choice, and bring in some fresh blood into the plot, I am unsure of how likely this outcome will be.

Likeliness Score: 5/10 (could go either way)

Dream

I’ve seen this one being floated about.

He would fit the description for secretive, trickster and definitely believe himself to be above others (especially with the current power he’s holding). Bizarrely theres also an argument for hope.

We know Dream can be secretive and we know he can trick people. We know those reasons. But why hope? Why have i chosen to associate him with hope?

Well, once Tommy has been let out of Pandora’s Vault (and he will), Dream will be all thats left. And I know. I know. this take on the myth of pandora is very surface level etc but come one guys, if they were to play on any trope of Pandora, this would be it. We have so many ways in which this whole hope thing could play out and perhaps this scenario is one.

It is bizarre to associate him with hope and very unlikely. But it’s tinfoil hat time people. No stone left unturned.

Technoblade owes him a favour. He, apart from Puffy, is the only one that has a current link with Techno so it would make sense that he might be apart of the Syndicate.

Reasons why it’s unlikely...

Y’all. We focus too much on that favour. I know I do. But so do all of you.

Why the fuck, would Dream, someone who wants to be the most powerful and essentially created the hierarchies on the server, join an anarchist group?

The only reason there was a team up before was because their motive aligned for a moment. That’s it.

Their basic morals do not align. They don’t. Not at all. If it turns out to be Dream I will scream.

What I truly believe will happen is Dream will ask the Syndicate to help him and due to the favour, Technoblade will feel obliged. The others will be like hell no, it’ll cause conflict within the syndicate and Techno will once again feel betrayed. Thats my predication for any involvement involving Dream.

Likeliness Score: -2/10

Captain Puffy

She’s a trickster. She is a symbol of hope in a lot of the storylines and for us due to her sticking up for those who cannot. She is a knight afterall.

I won’t lie, I’m unsure of why this is a popular theory other than the fact her and Techno have kinda sided together against the egg.

Reasons why it’s unlikely...

She’s a knight. She’s Erets knight. She is technically an active part in a hierarchical society.

She may be allied with him on the egg but that doesn’t mean she’s part of the Syndicate. She doesn’t even believe in the Anarchists beliefs. She’s very clear that the reason she wanted Techno on side was to help destroy the egg. She’s very clear that it’s due to the need of man power.

I just, I’m struggling guys. I’m struggling. I see the reasoning for teaming up but I do not see the reasons for her joining the club and I do not see the strong connections with this name.

Likeliness Score: 5/10 (I could be missing something)

EDIT: I’ve been informed that Puffy isn’t a knight anymore and has gone rogue... I still don’t think she’s a full time member of the Syndicate. It doesn’t seem quite correct. Especially the way in which she acts about the rest of the SMP. She’s never outright said she’s an anarchist as far as I’ve seen but she has said she needed his help. There is a different in requesting help and joining an organisation.

And because many have suggested I’ll add this on for the end...

Fundy

A trickster yes, but he has said he’s stepping back from lore, only being a part of it when asked or needed. This storyline has been ready for a bit so I don’t think Fundy is a part of it otherwise he wouldn’t have made that lore announcement.

Also Techno and Philza dislike Fundy. Like theres a lot of bad blood between them. There is no trust and a big part of the Syndicate is trust. So whether he was still actively participating in lore or not, it’s unlikely he’d be apart of it.

I know we’re starved of Fundy lore and a bit sad that he’s taking a step back, I am sad too. but it’s very unlikely he would be joining the Syndicate.

Likeliness Score: -10/10

Final Thoughts.

Personally, my favourite would be Callahan but I know that’s unlikely. I feel like Foolish might be the best one for being a member.

These are just some of my theories and reasons why. As I say with all my theories and stuff, I am am more often wrong than not. The creators on this server are brilliant at red herrings and twists that you’ll think one thing and be sure of it and then BAM. Something else. It’ll be interesting to see who it is and I’m excited to see where this storyline is headed as this is just the beginning.

#dream smp #captain puffy #dreamwastaken #foolish gamers #foolish #hannahxxrose #hannah mcyt #fundy #technoblade #callahan #callahan supremacy #anarchist syndicate club #honestly it’s going to be like tommy at this rate

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smellycinnamonthundahfudge · 4 years ago

Text

fuck it. have the five page essay-ish thing i wrote on hoax.

it's so underrated and contains so many references to taylor's one great true love... that she lost.

(but there's also a bit about what the album cover means since i just think it adds to the evidence of something)

Let me take you on a journey, more specifically, the journey taylor’s music brought me to.

But fine for irl context, and disclaimer as well, I’m a new swiftie.

Yes, folklore was the one that really really pulled me in.

I’ve always loved her music, those that I knew of anyways, and she’s always held a special place in my heart and some part of me always knew that I was always going to explore her discography someday… and those days and months of exploring aforementioned music finally arrived.

So, for context, I’ll say that I mostly loved her bops. I always knew and loved her as that teenage girl feeling of wanderlust, and just wonder, and sweetness, and love…

That was what taylor was to me, the feeling of love.

It’s only when I very quite recently really really grew up and at the same time, taylor’s most popular music at the time, folklore, also happened to be really grown up, is when I realized and found out that taylor always had this depth to her.

So, for me, debut to speak now and half of red will always have that child-like wanderstruck look of awe and love vibe and feeling to me, cause nostalgia, it’s what I spent my life thinking of it and her as.

Also it’s been some time since I fully listened to those albums, so the journey/throughline narrative that I see from taylor’s discography is

Debut – young kid figuring it all out, emotional but sweet

Fearless – growth, ambition, dreams, complexity of wanting someone you know you’re not supposed to

Speak now – cinematic movie like quality of storytelling, these are fantasies, epics, novels all on their own, legend

Red – reckless abandon, intense extreme adult love, and also growth

1989 – true love, actual adulthood, scandal, gossip, hiding, protecting what’s important, dwindling mercurial highs

Rep - …

One thing that I started to notice only on 1989 and then it looked to be the case for the ff albums too, is that the latter half of one album oft bleeds onto the next one

So like the sound of I know places and even kinda wonderland to some extent, is very similar to reputation’s sound.

Then idk, new year’s day being a really sweet love song transitioning into lover

And then it’s nice to have a friend’s simple acoustic nostalgia & daylight’s nature imagery transitioning into folklore

And theeenn I’m betting the lakes as a positive song is a foreshadowing for the more softer positive outlook evermore is going to have, compared to folklore at least

But I honestly believe that if you look at the albums themselves, debut to speak now and red all seem to be about fleeting romances that pass and go

But 1989, that’s when things start to get real, and I believe, that’s when taylor really starts to get her muse…

Cause if you look at from 1989 to folklore evermore heck even to the rerelease of fearless and red…

These songs seem to be stemming from one relationship

A relationship that’s secret, that’s fragile and delicate, and complicated and complex

And correct me if I’m wrong, but…

Is king of my heart the first time taylor ever used the term, the one???

The one real thing you’ve ever known?? All too well

One touch you are in love??? One step one night

Point is, I think starting from 1989, most of the songs taylor wrote and sung about could all be attributed to just one person.

A tumultuous complex but nevertheless real and true love.

And I bring up the one connection because the one clearly parallels king of my heart

And all at once, YOU ARE THE ONE I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR

why would taylor write about losing someone that she thought she was the one if the person you think it’s about is still supposedly with her when she wrote it?

And finally, in taylor’s announcement of folklore, she wrote about an exiled man walking the bluffs of a land that isn’t his own, wondering how it all went so terribly, terribly wrong.

And in its music video, you get the same imagery?

…

You know where, … you… also… get… the same… exact… imagery��?

The folklore album cover.

Where it’s taylor, walking, in the middle, so small in the grand vast bluffs of a land that wasn’t her own.

In every single music video for every folklore song, the only ONE, THE ONLY ONE, where you get the same imagery, the same color palette as the album cover, is exile.

Which is about someone, a man walking the bluffs of a land that isn’t his own.

So if taylor is the man, then she’s

I can see you standing, honey

With his arms around your body

Guess who she has a close relationship with, who betrayed her, who got married to someone else?

*regina george anger screaming*

Me is a breakup song.

Taylor rereleasing red second has so much more weight to it now.

“In the land of heartbreak, moments of strength, independence, and devil-may-care rebellion are intricately woven together with grief, paralyzing vulnerability and hopelessness.”

moments of strength, independence, and devil-may-care rebellion – me, I PROMISE THAT YOU’LL NEVER FIND ANOTHER LIKE ME.

WATCH MISS AMERICANA AND I DARE YOU TO NOT SEE ME AS A SPITEFUL/VINDICTIVE/REBELLIOUS BREAK UP SONG

grief, paralyzing vulnerability and hopelessness – FOLKLORE.

Then I guess, fine… we’ll get to why hoax is so fucking meaningful yet you don’t understand why it is.

Yes, my only one.

Smoking gun.

I saw someone call this a reference to the fire and ash in mtr, but I also think of this as someone being your one weakness…

Think about it like this, in reputation

And what if the one person who kept you alive through all that

Betrayed you too.

Taylor talks so deeply and passionately over how much this person matters, they were her smoking gun.

Because they were what kept her going through the death of her reputation.

When no one trusted her that one person did.

They were her smoking gun.

My eclipsed sun.

Lover ended with daylight.

Taylor called reputation as night time.

And now what once was daylight has now been eclipsed over, by betrayal grief sadness desolation.

(darling this was just as hard as when they pulled me apart, folklore is as dark as rep)

Winless fight – ma & thp, fight that someday we’re gonna win.

They or she didn’t.

Frozen ground brings me back to holy ground and to doht, my love had been frozen

The imagery of hoax’s lv, is of a cliffside overlooking an ocean

Which brings me back to gorgeous, of OCEAN blue eyes looking in mine, I feel like I might sink and drown and die

Screaming, similar to mtr’s I still talk to you when I’m screaming at the sky

(sidenote might not related to taylor references, but that line gives me hopelessness give me a reason to live vibes, and what with gorgeous’ line of sink and drown and die and this is me trying’s Pulled the car off the road to the lookout Could've followed my fears all the way down…

Anw… the sidenote is cause that feeling of hopelessness just really resonates with me personally, kind of the type screaming at the universe, at whatever’s out there why… sigh…)

Faithless love – false god

Hoax – illicit afairs

Blue… rep (delicate)

Best laid plan – dbatc, paper cut stings from our paper thin plans

Sleight of hand???

Five whole minutes pack us up leave me with it???

Could barren land also be bluffs of a land that isn’t his own?? Idk… *shruggie*

Ash from your fire mtr

New york, DBATC, 1989, false god, cornelia street

Hero died, remember when I said I’d die for you? False god

What’s the movie for, exile, I think I’ve seen this film before

You knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart

Like I said, reputation… who was her saving grace/smoking gun from all that

THEY WERE THE ONE, THE ONLY ONE, TAYLOR HAD WHEN SHE WAS PULLED APART

SO THEY KNEW, THEY KNEW HOW MUCH IT HURT HER

BUT THEY BETRAYED HER ANYWAYS.

Password let you in the door, I knew you’d come back to me, front porch light cardigan

What you did was just as dark, just as hard

Why wouldn’t it be?

They were the one she had throughout all that turmoil… yet they betrayed her too…

Kingdom come undone – komh, we rule the kingdome inside my room

Beaten my heart – KOMH, dbatc

The feeling of thinking you found the one, the one you’re going to spend the rest of your life with… the one you would throw away all of this for…

Don’t want no other shade of blue but you, no other sadness in the world would do

You don’t want anyone else but them if they were the one you were going to throw it all away for…

You don’t wanna say goodbye…

You just wanna keep feeling the pain, the love, the conflict that you had with them…

You don’t wanna say goodbye

#hoax #folklore #hoax taylor swift #taylor swift #i love you taylor #gaylor swift #writing #songs #music #love #<3

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zigtheeortega · 3 years ago

Text

For the past six months, @pixeljazzy and I have been working on a playlist we felt could top last year’s, which was so well received!

We’ve broken it up into sections by individual love interests, multiple love interests, main character, and miscellaneous, which includes side characters, general vibes, etc. Underneath each song are lyrics we believed stood out to us along with explanations as to why we chose it. Like last year, the [p] is for PJ and [j] is for Jade.

Here’s the link to the playlist on Spotify, but we’ve individually linked the songs with each explanation as well!

We sincerely hope you enjoy our 2021 RODAW Playlist!

The Bay, Soft Glas. ft. Mulherin [j]

Leaving you alone is too hard (hard, hard) / I just never know where to start (with you)

I'm not used to leaving someone broken hearted / That might be what really makes this hard (It's hard) / I've never been with anyone this long / If I did it, I really miss you

The softness and apologetic tone of the song reminds me of Logan through and through. He’s so regretful for what he put MC through, both at the beginning when he was lying to her, and by the end when he thinks he’s ruined her life by simply being a criminal and dating her. And by leaving her he’s leaving the one person who’s loved him unconditionally and stuck with him through it all.

Call Me, Nav [j]

They taught me, "Don't forget where you came from" / I regret what I came from

Do you know how it feel to feel alone? / Bought myself a house, to feel like I ain't home / Driving by myself, ain't got nowhere to go / Are you really here for me, I don't know

I hope you mean everything that you told me / I'll try to come back to you, girl, I'm sorry / If you miss me, just call me

This song honestly reminded me of Logan’s backstory that we don’t know much of, besides the fact that he was thrust into a life of crime as a teen and as an adult he hates it. The other lyrics I added are kind of a glimpse into the future I think – wherever Logan is, whatever he’s doing, if he’s not with MC, the woman he loves, everything he accomplishes is gonna feel hollow. And despite him saying that he was leaving to protect her, I know in his heart he’d want her to find her way back to him.

Cold Case Love, Rihanna [p]

I’m torn apart and you know / What you did to me was a crime

We opened up a cold case love / And it got the best of us / And now prints, pictures, and white outlines / Are all that’s left at the scene of a crime / Of a cold case love

The first line reminded me of how MC probably felt after being betrayed by Logan, the one that was arguably supposed to be the closest to them, and then the second lyric is because at the time, MC left and that was the last Logan knew of them with nothing to stand for what they used to have until they eventually came back to help save the crew.

Compass, The Neighbourhood [j]

If I don't have you with me, I'm alone / You know I never know which way to go / I think I need you with me for all-time / When I need new direction for my mind

I've got something to confess / I keep you in my pocket to use / You're my only compass / I might get lost without you / (Could you tell me where to go?)

You're always there to help me when I'm down / I'm lucky you've been keeping me around / You're the star I look for every night / When it's dark, you'll stick right by my side

Like a magnet / Hard to imagine ever changing / Can't help that I'm attracted to you, I am / Could you keep on guiding me? Please

This is a quintessential Logan song – reading these lyrics, it’s like Logan spoke them himself to MC, and that’s why I included so much of the song. All of these remind me of him and his hopeless romanticism, but specifically the line about her being the star he looks for every night? Absolutely perfect. This entire song is like a love letter from Logan to MC.

Don’t Leave Me, Blackstreet [p]

I’m searching for the words to make you realize / That I really, really want you to stay

Don’t leave, don’t leave me girl

This song was giving me Logan vibes from the diamond scene where he’s like “I can’t believe I love someone” and MC is like “you don’t get to say that to me” or some shit like that because he’s trying soo so hard to explain himself to her and to make her not hate him.

Imma Dog, Ugly God ft. PnB Rock [j]

You say you love me, shawty, tell me why / 'Cause I'm a dog and I'ma probably be this way until I die / You say you always gon' be by my side / You say you trust me with your heart and I swear, I just wonder why

Okay, hear me out, I forreal have reasons for this to be tied to Logan. The only verse in this song that’s a non chorus one is related to cheating, but I’m choosing to ignore that for the sake of the chorus. I heard the chorus for the first time and it made me think of one specific moment and point in time in Ride or Die. These lyrics remind me of Logan’s attitude when he was being mean and pretending to be annoyed by MC to get her off of him – despite the facade he’s still in awe of the way she trusts him and cares about him even when he’s treating her like garbage.

Life’s a Mess, Juice WRLD ft. Halsey [p]

Uh, sometimes life’s a mess

Lookin’ for somethin’ real, then I found it

I’m too flawed to hold you down, but / Don’t wanna be here alone

Logan knows all too well how much of a mess life really is (first lyric), and the second lyric is basically what I think he feels about MC. He told MC in the beginning that he doesn’t really stay with crews or trust anyone but himself, but MC was that exception before the rest of the crew became that exception too. And then the third lyric is because Logan looks at himself as someone who probably doesn’t deserve MC, Vaughn even said he was morally obligated to tell MC that she’s too good for his cousin (yes it was a joke (was it) but it fits), but he still wants her anyway (“Look at you...then look at me. You’re going to be valedictorian. I never even went to high school...I don’t have anything, and I wasn’t anybody, and I knew that. I always knew that….Some part of me really wants you to mess things up for me.” - Logan, Ch. 3).

Unfair, 6lack [p]

Hope my mistakes don’t make me less of a man / ‘cause lately it feel like them shits really can / I’m prayin’ I don’t wake up all alone

But know I’m stuck between / What I love and who I love and / I know it’s unfair

The first lyric I feel like is pretty self-explanatory as Logan expresses remorse for his actions (him acting weird and tryna tell MC about his dishonesty in the club, him making the effort to apologize or explain in the diamond scene after the reveal) and it especially hits if your MC is romancing Logan because he doesn’t want to lose them. As for the second lyric, I was thinking about how he was probably stuck between doing what’s best for the crew and doing right by MC

While We’re Young, Jhene Aiko [j]

Baby while we're young / I think we should do something crazy / Like say, "Fuck everyone" / And just run away from the daily routine

I'm tellin' everybody you're mine and I like it / And I really hope you don't mind, I can't fight it

'Cause it's been another perfect day with ya / Wanna lay with ya / Spend the night with ya / Then spend my life with ya, alright

I'll go everywhere you go / You know I'll go, I'll go / Everywhere you go

I'm giving you my heart, please don't break it / Take it and lock it up and put me in your pocket, love

This reminds me of Logan and MC’s brand of romance that’s sweet and clumsy and a little bit reckless when it really gets going. They’re both cautious but they fantasize about throwing caution to the wind even more than they already have.

Angel With A Shotgun, The Cab [p]

I don’t care if heaven won’t take me back / I’ll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe

Sometimes to win, you have to sin

And I want to live, not just survive

Lemme explain because I feel like people may think this song is really really out there for Colt but I was listening to this song one day and thought of him, esp the last two lines I chose: I think of how Colt came up with the kidnapping plan and how it was so crazy because it was like wow he really was ready for murder if it came down to it, but Colt was basically like we need to do something big to outsmart them or else we’ll just be doing shit for them forever (‘sometimes to win, you have to sin’).

Born 2 Be Great, Lil Tjay [p]

I was born to be great / And I won’t let nobody tell me I ain’t / And I can’t stop, won’t stop

Growin’ up, I’m gettin’ old, start settin’ goals / Tryna make more money off my business and shows / And everybody gon’ hate, I’m great, I know / Everybody can hate, I’m great, I know

These lyrics just scream COLT to me all the way. He knows and believes he’s destined for greatness no matter what path he chooses because no matter what he does, he’s gonna succeed in the end. “I can’t stop, won’t stop” reminds me of how Kaneko wanted Colt to choose for himself what he wanted to do, and even though Kaneko tried to shield Colt away from the family business, that’s where Colt wanted to be. The second lyric is essentially Colt just knowing he’s gonna make money and that he won’t be liked (hated by other crews, police, etc.), but that won’t matter because he’s great nevertheless.

Chandelier, B.o.B ft. Lauriana Mae [p]

They say life’s about choices / In the face of defeat I declined / Put your soul into everything, never back down / That’s how you leave a legacy behind

Let my blood keep pumping, my heart keep beating / Shining like a chandelier

Making something out of absolutely nothing / That’s the definition of a survivor

Colt definitely felt ‘put your soul into everything, never back down / that’s how you leave a legacy behind’ because of how much he focuses on carrying on what his family has built, and taking all the risks necessary to keep that legacy alive and make a name for himself. I put ‘shining like a chandelier’ because that’s how bright Colt shines, as I believe he’s destined for greatness and wouldn’t allow himself to achieve anything but.

Down Bad, Real Recognize Rio [j]

I've been out of my head for a couple minutes, for a couple miles / Made the hair stand up on my neck / On a knife edge, comin' at me for my crimes / Got a mind that can leave you locked inside

'Cause you got me down bad, down bad, your deep desire / Carve my name on your soul, then I walk through the fire / Your voice so clear, like you say my name / You got mе runnin' for my life like this shit was a game / Got mе down bad, down bad to feel your touch

This song reminds me of Colt specifically during the gambling scene when he got shot and the last car chase scene, because MC is put in serious danger but it does nothing to shake her love for Colt. She’s scared for her life and her future but she’s still willing to put everything on the line for him and MPC.

Forever Ever, Trippie Redd ft. Young Thug [p]

You gon’ really have to hold me fuckin’ down, babe / ‘Cause I ain’t with the fuckery, that playing ‘round, babe

We Bonnie and Clyde but except the shots

He don’t love you like he should, I can love you better

First and second lyric are because they’re a team, and Colt sees MC as his right hand. In the life he lives, the people on his team gotta be down fr because there’s always a lot at stake. The last lyric is more conditional, as I feel like this could be him if MC was also romancing Logan because in the reveal, Colt’s like you deserved to know and in the car in the chapter afterwards that’s when he’s like bro we could run this whole shit etc. etc.

Impala, O2worldwide [j]

I been watching you from a distance / Sitting back and acknowledging your existence / I made a couple songs but you'll probably never listen / Shooting my shot but i'm always fucking missing / Setting my ego aside / Me and you can go together just like Bonnie and Clyde / I've been tripping over you just like my shoes is untied / And I tried to hit you up its like my confidence died but

I see you everyday but don't past corners of eyes / I'm just gonna act like I didn't see you close to that guy / Not gonna lie you got me head over ears / I'm tryna find love because I don't know just how it feels

Anyone listening to this and reading the lyrics is going to hate me because… is this the perfect “Colt pining for MC because she’s getting close to Logan” Love Triangle song, or what? I listen to this song so casually most of the time that I forget how sad the lyrics actually are. The first couple verses (not the third verse) fit the narrative so well. A lot of my favorite “Colt” songs aren’t ones where they’re outwardly admitting any kind of affection for MC – they’re the ones where it reads as Colt struggling with their feelings for MC and how to express them.

PTSD, G Herbo ft. Juice WRLD, Lil Uzi Vert, and Chance the Rapper [p]

I don’t belong, I see my past everywhere

I got a war zone on inside of my head

A million dollars ahead, I’m still angry and seeing red

I’m too paranoid, I make sure all my opps, they bled

This song always guts me because G Herbo is talking about all the people he’s lost, and for Colt, I imagined this was probably him after losing his father. Reminded of his past when he saw the remains of the shop, reminded of his past every time after that probably when he was rebuilding the shop. As for the million dollars, it’s like he could pull off as many heists as he could but he would never be satisfied until Brotherhood paid, hence the last lyric because honestly I don’t think it’s over until Shaw is dead (ik there’s a line in ROD where he’s like if we were even, he’d be dead, I just know it).

Sun God, Trippie Redd [j]

Went out my way just to love you / Right at the top, no above you / Right off the top, know I trust you / Ready or not, here I come, boo / And baby, you're hot, like the sun, too / Not too hot for me, no I'm sun-proof / Follow your lead, I'ma come through / Just you and me, baby, one-two

I think this is Colt way farther down the line if MC had the chance to really fall in love with him. He’s the type to value trust and loyalty in a bond more than anything else because he doesn’t do either of those easily at all. And I think that the line about being sun-proof is a cute callback to a lot of the fandom comparisons of Colt and Icarus – the title too and the lyrics just scream Colt to me.

Where Does The Love Go?, Maria Isabel [j]

Nightly negotiations with the moon, whoever's listening / All the miles between us got me messed up, got me trippin'

They say lovin' is easy / But not when one of us is leaving

Back on a plane / Two different coasts / When we're alone / Where does the love go? / What if you go / Forget the way home? / Running in circles but never together / So where does the love go?

The more I listen to this song the more I think this song is about Colt and MC. Colt’s not a clingy type in the slightest, but there’s no doubt in my mind that deeper into the relationship, both Colt and MC would have some doubts – the reason I say this is because I’m viewing the lyrics through the lens of Colt and MC doing long distance while MC is in college on the East Coast. This whole song is long distance relationship anxiety summed up perfectly and it’s so Colt.

Yellow Lights, 24kGoldn [p]

Don’t want no yellow light / don’t want no mixed message

For the crown, ‘cause we could achieve it

Love you now, but don’t you deceive me

Second lyric resonated with me esp because of that line in the book where he’s like “But the two of us? We put our brains together, you and me could run this whole town” so he knows he could achieve an empire with MC by his side. Last lyric is because Colt definitely doesn’t trust those around him and for those that he does trust, that trust doesn’t come easy. So MC, who managed to get past that, is loved, but would automatically lose a lot if she deceived him (now imagine….snitch MC? This line would hit a lot more because she ends up deceiving him so like he had a right to be wary of her holding his heart (like if we’re looking at the pov of him saying this lyric)).

Can’t Love, Trippie Redd [p]

She say she love me, I think she love me not / She say she love me, I know she love me not

How could you do this to me? / Yeah, yeah, I thought you, I thought you loved

Another Mona and her ex song teehee but I’m imagining this from Mona’s pov while she’s in jail like wow that girl never loved me like she said she loved me (first lyric) and how could she betray me like this (second lyric).

Favorite Mistake, Giveon [p]

Is my secret safe? / Safe with just you and me / We can’t leave a trace / This is my favorite mistake

Look in my eyes / Do you mind the lies? Do you feel alive?

Even when you’re gone / The feeling just grow stronger / Should leave it alone / But you’re getting closer

So I finally did a Mona route and GOD yes this song is about cheating (Mona and Hieron can’t relate) but we gon ignore that and just focus on these lyrics specifically because wow they really hit me like Mona for one was in denial of her feelings for MC from the jump and at some point she’s like god this is so ridiculous I can’t believe I’m feeling this way again so ofc she doesn’t want people to know she’s in love (like that time Toby is like man she is NOT happy about liking you! in the club scene) hence the beginning of the first lyric but at the same time….. she’s in love… so “this is my favorite mistake.” As for the second and third, the lies are that “I don’t like you” ra ra ra she’s only fooling herself and then it’s like yeah she knows her feelings are dumb but she can’t help but fall for MC anyway <3

Gonna Love Me, Teyana Taylor [p]

Sometimes we say things that we really don’t mean / We do things in between the lines

Please wait up for me ‘til whenever I get home / I know that you’re all alone / Thinking ‘bout what you’re gon’ do / I hope that you see it through, ooh, ooh

Why is it so hard to keep in touch

For the first lyric, I was thinking of the time MC says “Being with you makes a difference to me. It feels safer” and Mona replies that “It’s just an illusion. A blanket. And I’ve told you before not to count on me.” Yeah she said that wit her chest but ik she knows it’s more than that for the both of them. The second and third lyric both have to do with her being in jail by the end of the book (making it literally hard to keep in touch), and even though she tells MC not to wait up, a part of me thinks the vulnerable part of Mona would’ve hoped at least a smidge that MC would, and the last bit ‘thinking ‘bout what you’re gon’ do / I hope that you see it through’ reminds me of the advice in the diamond scene of driving Mona to the hospital that she gave MC which was that to move on, you just gotta keep your foot on the gas and look forward and that eventually, she’ll be somewhere better than she’s ever been.

Love or Lust, 24kGoldn [p]

It’s love or it’s lust, we just need to be clear / ‘Cause if you’re in love, then I shouldn’t be here

Would you walk eight thousand miles just to make me smile on a rainy Wednesday? / If so, then you gots to go, it ain’t mutual and I’m not pretending

Basically in the beginning stages of MC falling for Mona, Mona’s like oh hell nah (“I shouldn’t be here”) and she recognizes that MC likes her a lotttt (MC would definitely walk eight thousand miles to make her smile on a rainy Wednesday) and so she’s like fuck

PLW, Leon Thomas [j]

Left my fear right at the door (ooh) / She's an animal hunting in the wild, yeah (in the wild) / Doesn't move around or groove / But she come from the depth / That's why she's down to earth / An instrument of war

Baby ain't no beginner / I got love for my little winner / Flashing or finessing / That's why I mess with her, yeah

And you don't have to worry, yeah / 'Cause I know what's she worth / No, you don't have to save me / From my pretty little weapon

Ooh my baby smart, and she sharp, and she sharp, yeah / Pretty little weapon

I’ll never ever get over how this song fell into my lap and is absolutely perfect for Mona. This is for an MC who acknowledges that Mona’s a badass and that she loves her because of her strong personality and unwavering confidence because she knows she’s good at her job. The first verse is the best approach an MC could take – leaving her fear at the door because she knows someone like Mona could sniff it out. The line “No, you don’t have to save me / From my pretty little weapon” kills me, because it’s accurate – on Mona’s route, despite any betrayal, the MC is still in love with her and knows that Mona would never actually hurt her.

Sleeping With the Enemy, BbyMutha & Kindora [j]

Creeping around corners / I don't feel like myself / Studying your movements / It's a carousel / And I can't confirm that you / Mean what you say / And I'm pretty sure / That it's / Better that way

Why can't I trust in you / Am I slipping up / Over you / If it really turned to be the way / That I think / How bad could it be?

And I know that we could go for / Round and round like 123 / And I gotta question myself / Is it coming? / Possibly / And I gotta wonder / Am I sleeping with the enemy?

I'm watching my back / Like I got nothing left / I give you all I got / Wish I knew what was next

The first time I heard this song it was a toss up between whether or not it was a Colt and Mona song (or both) but I settled on Mona pretty quickly after a re-listen. Not only is the internal conflict in the lyrics a perfect description of Mona’s own battle, but it could be easily viewed from MC’s perspective as well. The idea of knowing it’s “wrong”, and mistrusting them but pursuing it anyways is quintessential early Mona route.

The World is a Marble Heart, AJR [p]

We could have been, we should have been / What your heart couldn’t handle

Run away, girl, ‘cause I let you / Now you found some other man, you see / I’m better off without you, ‘cause the man ain’t me!

I’m going right now / To the beginning / What you denied from the start / And now you can’t go breaking my heart

The world is a marble heart / It’s bullshit and we know it

I think the first lyric is definitely MC to Mona because Mona was afraid to allow herself to be in love, and then evidently their relationship couldn’t blossom because Mona ends up arrested (“we could have been, we should have been”). This song called out to me because Mona always comments on how MC’s heart got them into the Brotherhood mess, how MC always think the crew is something they’re not, so MC’s heart is the marble heart and the last lyric (“it’s bullshit and we know it”) is essentially Mona being like girl you know we are not what you think we are. The second lyric is because in a scene after the reveal, Mona drives MC to Riya’s house and MC goes I wish we could run off together and Mona is like just say the word and MC is like I can’t :/// and then Mona is like the only one stopping you is you, and then “I’m better off without you” is Mona being don’t call don’t write don’t text

Would You, Pink Sweat$ [p]

Would you die for me? I would die for you / Would you shoot for me? I would kill for you / Would you run up the bag if I needed you to? / Girl, all the things that I’d do for you / Would you do for me too?

I wanna know when it pops off that you gon’ be right next to me

This was giving Mona and her ex from that scene where MC got a glimpse into Mona’s past. Essentially, Mona’s ex and her were thick as thieves, and when they got arrested, Mona didn’t say anything and her ex did, so Mona was always ten toes down but her ex never had her (Mona) like she (Mona) thought she (her ex) had her (Mona)

Both of Us, YFN Lucci [j]

Stay with me when there's no one else to call / If you got me then I'm in it for the both of us

Look, ayy, do you love me like you say you love me? / Ay, do you vow to keep it cute when everythin' get ugly? / Ay, if I ever leave, girl would you come lookin' for me?

I think that this song and these lyrics fit into the title of the book and how “ride or die” each of the love interests are for MC and vice versa. I think the softer parts of this song are MC for sure, and Logan at times, and the second bullet point is Colt and Mona. For them, it’s more of a promise of loyalty rather than love like the earlier lyric is (which is why I think that’s a bit more hopeless romantic like Logan).

C U Girl, Steve Lacy [j]

I haven't seen you in a while, you know I miss you babe / When you hear this song, feel flattered, it's about your face / And how I miss it and I wish that I could see it more / But you're in college now and I'm about to go on tour

I love this song because it makes me think of the possibility of MC and the LI having a “song” – one where any time they hear it they think of each other. And that when they hear it it makes them happy but at the same time they’re forced do think about the distance between them and how much they miss each other.

Collide, Tiana Major9 and Earthgang [j]

Everybody's got opinions on our thing / Say we're flying down a path with no ending / And if I die before I wake / Ooh, don't let me wake up from this dream / When we collide / When we collide, it's a beautiful disaster / When I crash into you, you, you

And I don't care about the future or the past / Riding slow, 'cause you know the world's moving too fast

Without you, I'm just a fraction / Closing in on my demise / And I love you religiously / With everything inside of me / As long as I'm alive

So I think it fits for all three because the relationship is taboo since they’re criminals and she’s a valedictorian getting ready for college. Their relationship is sloppy and dangerous and comes to an inevitable end, and they both know that, so this song for sure encapsulates how little both the LI and MC care about that. They don’t that it’s a trainwreck, because colliding is all that matters :)

Heaven, Clairo [j]

Alone, for the last time / You're just a loner / Give it a try / And you're hard on yourself / And your laugh, it just melts in my hands / Lonesome in the streets

I'll get by with you on my mind / I'll get by with you on my side

I love the idea of this song being viewed as MC’s perspective of her LI, because I’m sure the other LI’s haven’t been appreciated in the way that she appreciates them. For example, the line about the laugh melting in her hands makes me think about how they’d react to her saying that to them. None of the LI’s probably have never been told their laugh is cute, and I’m sure they’d be confused about it at first, so this whole song gives me a cute late night summer drive vibe. Like the MC is in the passenger seat of Mona or Logan’s car or draped around Colt and she’s just appreciating the things she loves about them.

Heaven Ain’t Hard 2 Find, Tupac [j]

Simply because you nervous, let me start off with my conversation / Hoping my information, elevates the hesitation / I can see it clearly now / Catch you smiling through your frown / I'm askin' Baby Boo are you down?

Heaven ain't hard to find / In fact you can have it just have faith / Just like a little kid, still believing in magic / It takes a lot of sacrifice / With all the lonely nights on tour / I need somebody I can trust in my life

Oh god help me identify me truest thoughts / Your hidden motives full of passion who would of thought / Come holla at me baby, love me for my thug nature / Far from a player hater, label me a money maker / Straight heart breaker

I originally added this song because it’s canon that Colt loves old West Coast Rap, so that makes me think he’s a huge Tupac fan. I can see him listening to this in his car driving down a California highway at like 2 a.m. On the other hand, though, the beginning of the song reminds me of the first meeting with Logan at the party, or the second meeting when they go to the car show – young love jitters and all that.

Keep Me Up, Charlotte Lawrence [j]

My heart starts beating and my hands start sweating / My chest starts sinking and sometimes will even start shaking / It's physical and emotional

And I don't want you all inside my head / And I can feel you running through my veins

When I say, and I say, and I say / That I want you in my life / But you stay, and you stay, and you stay / And you never leave my side / And you take, and you take, and you take / And you say you feel so nice, boy / And you keep me up all night

I think this fits with all the LI’s and MC and how they cope after the LI’s had to leave. Read it from both perspectives and it honestly fits so well for both of them – like the first couple months of restlessness staring at their ceiling while reflecting on how much they miss each other.

Kitchen, Kid Cudi [j]

Hmm, you wanna find somebody you trust and lay low / But it seems they all on the same mission / You wanna find somebody you trust and lay low / But can't stand the heat of my love, then stay out the kitchen

Oh baby here we are, I made a wish on shootin' stars / I ain't even mad at it, we made it this far

The attitude of this song reminds me of both Mona and Colt’s feelings about relationships – they both know they’re intense people and that they don’t trust or love easily, and that whoever’s interested in them needs to know that. They’re not going to apologize for it, but they appreciate anyone who sticks around and loves them despite that.

Meet Me Halfway, The Black Eyed Peas [j]

Can you meet me halfway, right at the borderline / Is where I'm gonna wait, for you / I'll be looking out, night n' day / Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I stay / I can't go any further than this / I want you so bad it's my only wish

I think of all three LI’s when I listen to this, because it fits into the idea of them struggling to maintain both of their lifestyles and have them mesh together. And it plays into the distance when MPC has to scatter.

Moonlight, Trippie Redd [j]

I can still be your man / I was tryna see your plans / 'Cause I was tryna have this dance tonight / Your body, girl, I'm a real big fan / And I cannot lose this chance / So, baby girl, grab my hand / This moment I'm waiting for, I fantasize / I just wanna be with you, I just wanna be with you tonight / Under the moonlight

This reminded me of the prom scene and how despite the chaos, all three love interests took the time to appreciate MC and soak up their last “date”.

out for the night, 21 Savage [j]

Five foot five (Five), she my ride or die (Die) / Never tell a lie (Lie), we like Bonnie and Clyde (Clyde) / Lookin' at her thigh (Thigh), like, "Do it come with rice?" (Rice) / She don't like FaceTime, she would rather Skype / But I'm out for the night (Straight up) / Out for the night (Straight up)

When I heard this song I could definitely see Colt listening to it, but I think the flirtiness of the song fits for all three love interests! Also, I mean… “she my ride or die” and “we like Bonnie and Clyde”? Self explanatory.

Part of Me, Teo [j]

I believe there's no one in your place / So much lovely / You can cure my mistakes / You reside in me no room for escape

You're my darling / You're my love / You're rocking all of your diamonds / All dressed up / And girl I lost my mind, no, I messed up / So now I'm knocking at your doors with my chest up

You're part of me / Come again and see / Diamonds make you sparkle

This reminds me of the prom scene from the LI’s perspective. And even more so than that, it reminds me of post prom/car chase where they have to say goodbye to each other the last time. It’s like a bittersweet tribute to MC about how much they mean to them and how much they’ll think about them when they’re apart.

Special, 21 Savage [j]

We got something special / I was finna text you / But I don't wanna pest you / Even if we ain't together (no matter we're forever) / I'm still coming to your rescue

Ride with me (ride with me) / Tell the truth and don't you lie to me (lie to me) / You know I need you on my side with me (side with me) / Tell the truth and don't you lie to me (lie to me) / Baby, roll with me (roll with me)

I'mma hold you down forever / You my round forever / They just want to use you, but I'm tryna help you

I think of Colt mostly with this song, but it definitely fits with all of the li’s in my opinion! Logan, Colt, and Mona would all approach their relationship with MC this way – constantly affirming that they’re there for MC no matter what, even if things go South with them, they’re always one call away. And especially the last line “they just wanna use you, but I’m tryna help you” that’s for sure an overprotective LI about the Jason Shaw situation and generally people taking advantage of MC’s kindness.

Drunk on Love, Rihanna [p]

Take me away / I wear my heart on my sleeve / Always let love take the lead / I may be a little naive, yeah

I feel like I’ve heard MC being described as naive, and even in the book Mona is like man it’s your damn heart that got us into this mess because you thought we were more than who we are, so yeah this song reminded me of MC.

Final Goodbye, Rihanna [p]

Thought that you would stay forever with me / But the time has come to leave

Promise you our love will carry on

Final goodbye, MC saying goodbye to their LI, you catch my drift.

The Good, the Bad, and the Dirty, Panic! at the Disco [p]

If you wanna start a fight / You better throw the first punch / Make it a good one

I feel like this lyric specifically is saying that if you’re gonna stand for something, you better give it your all, and it reminded me of how MC came up with the plan to defeat the Brotherhood in the last few chapters of ROD, and to get out of it, they really had to go all out (AKA MC telling the police everything, meaning the gang had to go on the run). Also, MC just nose-dived into this life and I feel like this lyric is like ‘well sis if you gon be a criminal you might as well do your best’ (and she did when she bodied her first heist I know that’s right, my driver forever <3).

Harder We Fall, Jessie J [p]

So, whatever path we choose to take / There will be highs and there will be lows, the same / Oh, we’ll never run from our mistakes / The harder we fall the harder we try again

I just feel like this is a good song for MC to listen to in the car on her way to Langston yk crying but the windows are down and the wind is wiping your tears so you just keep it pushing because you’ll live and you’re stronger than your lows.

House of Memories, Panic! at the Disco [p]

If you’re a lover, you should know / The lonely moments just get lonelier / The longer you’re in love than if you are alone / Memories turn into daydreams, become a taboo

I think of you from time to time more than I thought I would

I just feel like this is a perfect song for MC going through the motions of leaving their lover behind and thinking about the times they shared because her life with the crew will always be so drastically different than the life she was went to have (going to Langston, being the ‘goody two shoes’, etc.).

Let It Out, Trippie Redd ft. Myiah Lynnae [p]

I need to know, before I tell you, can I trust you?

Idk man this song really just spoke to me.

Saw You in a Dream, The Japanese House [j]

I saw you in a dream / You had stayed the same / You were beckoning me / Said that I had changed / Tried to keep my eyes closed / I want you so bad / Then I awoke and it was so sad

Haven't talked to you in months / And I thought that I might cry / But I'm not that kind of girl

All good things come to an end / But I thought that this might last / But you came and left so fast

I wonder if you'll come visit me again / You're taking your time to reappear / I'm starting to believe that when I call your name / You just don't hear me anymore / And I know that I shouldn't even try / It's a waste of time

I don’t think I need to go super in depth as to why this reminded me of MC, but I do see this as MC’s defeated approach to it in the months/years after meeting the MPC.

Silent Nite, Tink [p]

I put your joy and your feelings ‘fore mine / These days I’m angry, angry inside / No words to say (oh) / One thing to do / Move on and fall back from you / It’s gonna be a silent night / No one here to hold me tight / It’s gonna be a silent night / No one here to hold me, oh, oh I’m lonely / Lost for words (lost for words)

It’s a short song so I just put the whole lyrics in here LMFAO but I feel like this could be MC during her first few nights at Langston. For Hieron at least, I know she went through a range of emotions processing this new chapter without the people she holds dear, angry at the way this is how things had to play out, but all that’s left for her to do is get over it, move on, and get used to not having that support anymore (i.e. like if MC is used to cuddling with [insert LI], they deadass gotta sleep alone now f in the chat).

Smile, Juice WRLD ft. The Weeknd [p]

I’d do anything in my power to see you just smile / I want you to prosper and come proper / Even if that means I ain’t by your side

I spent every day right beside you (‘side you), ‘side you (‘side you) / A hundred pics of me on your phone / Now you’re someone that I used to know

OKAY so I’m absolutely obsessed with this song and the first lyric was definitely giving me Logan x MC because I feel like this is something he could’ve said during his goodbye, like saying something that vulnerable and heartwrenchingly sweet is def on-brand for him, but the second lyric I feel like fits all the LIs. Like because they were part of the crew, they spent so much time with MC, and now that they’re gone, MC has all those pictures and memories that they want to hold on to them so badly even though they can never be together again (‘now you’re someone that I used to know’)

Stuck With Me, The Neighbourhood [j]

Now I'm feeling guilty for it / Didn't wanna leave / Realized I'm less important / Than I thought I'd be, yeah / I'm not tellin' you for any certain reasons but / I just want your empathy

Our lives keep on gettin' shorter / Losin' opportunity / There might be some other ways of looking at it but / That's just what I see / I been gettin' over myself / Thinkin' about what you need / Then I realised that neither of us matter

You always end up stickin' to me / Somehow, somehow / You are stuck with me / So I guess I'll be sticking with / You are stuck with me / So I guess I'll be sticking with

So I think this song covers a lot of topics for MC. I think the vibe of the lyrics suit MC when she’s dealing with her relationship with her father, being pressured by Jason Shaw, and grappling with whether or not she’s making the right decision despite it all – homegirl was falling in love throughout all of it, too. Reading the lyrics with that lens made me think of each of the lines as a different conversation. The first part sounds like a tidbit of a conversation she could’ve had with her dad or about her dad. The next one is like a realization that despite how careful she is with her choices, nothing matters anyways, if the MC takes a nihilistic approach to it. And the last lyric is her conclusion with the LI that despite everything, she’s happy that she’s with her LI and she’s grateful for their loyalty.

worst behavior, Ariana Grande [j]

I been on my worst behavior / But, baby, I don't need no savior / I'm way outta line / But I kind of like the way I / Feel when I just don't give a fuck

This ain't no game, won't play with you / This time I know I'll stay with you / Just promise you won't say nothin' / Don't you be actin' like that, don't you be actin' like that, babe

Said baby it's just in my nature / To be a little troublemaker

Know you really like the way I / Taste when we kiss, you reminisce / But this ain't the last time / Just stay by my side

This song reminds me of rebellious MC before the gravity of the situation really hits her – the short span of time where she’s not worrying about being Valedictorian or college or her dad’s approval. She’s just living and falling in love for the first time. This could probably work for all LI’s but the specific “troublemaker” line makes me think of an MC who is trying to reassure Logan that she can make her own decisions.

1Day, PnB Rock ft. Ugly God [j]

Momma told me that I wouldn't be shit / Told her one day / I'ma be rich (huh)

One day, I'ma buy a big ass crib / One day, I'ma buy a big ass mansion / One day, all my fucking diamonds gon' be dancing / One day, I'ma fuck a bitch in the Hamptons / One day, I'ma eat the sushi with the salmon

Dropped out of college, everybody said I'm tripping / Told them be patient, but they ass wouldn't listen / Made it big time, now they fucking with the vision / Now I'm really rich, and my diamonds really glistening

The lyrics kind of remind me of the lifestyle that they live – whether or not they fell for the MC in the process, they all kind of have the motive of money and being successful in their own way. Even though the li’s and MC have their own shortcomings and wants and needs outside of MPC, I like to think of this song as an ego booster and probably representative of their attitudes when they joined MPC at the beginning. Reminds me of Logan especially since he joined the life so early and probably romanticized it for the longest time before it really went to shit. And to add to that, the last lyric is Colt all the way.

92 Explorer, Post Malone [p]

Ooh, baby, I see these muhfuckas’ glancin’ / When my whip stop, then my wheels keep spinnin’

Made a lot of M’s, made a lot of moves

This song is literally all about Post Malone’s precious car so I was like LMFAO why not because everyone in ROD loves their cars and then the last lyric is because they be making a lot of money with their transactions/steals.

Best Friend, Saweetie ft. Doja Cat [p]

Beep beep, is that my bessie in a Tessie?

Listen... I feel like we were robbed of the peak best friend dynamic that could’ve existed between Riya and MC so this whole song is for them (also c’mon MC could’ve snatched a Tesla if she reeaaally wanted too so yup that’s Riya’s bessie in a Tessie).

Lost It, Rich The Kid ft. Quavo and Offset [p]

The Bentley don’t cost shit / I walk out the bank rich

Okay, drank sippin’, lane switchin’ / I done brought my gang with me

Ooh, I might snatch the coupe

First one because they really could get any car they wanted, second lyric because gang always together yk, and last one because they really be stealing cars out here LMFAO.

Royal Rumble, Lil Tecca [p]

My life is a movie, you not ready for that clip

It’s a Royal Rumble

ROD really is a wild ride (‘my life is a movie’) and the ‘it’s a Royal Rumble’ just reminded me of the fact that it’s basically a showdown between two crews where one wins in the end but at what cost.

Runnin’, 21 Savage and Metro Boomin [p]

Runnin’, runnin’, runnin’, runnin’

We run the motherfuckin’ city

Fuck your crew, [redacted], we’ll kill your crew

First lyric is because literally everyone has to scatter by the end of the book, and the second lyric just gave me their vibes, whether or not they truly ran the city. The last lyric makes me laugh because Colt really was about to kill the other crew, the ‘we’ is a lilll bit loose in that sense though LMFAO because I know damn well Toby was not ready to go down like that.

Stuntin’ Like My Daddy, Birdman ft. Lil Wayne [j]

What we doing? Getting money / What they doing? Hating on us, but they never cross / Cash money still a company, and, bitch, I'm the boss / And I be stuntin' like my daddy, stuntin' like my daddy

Colt and Teppei don’t get along, but I like to think that Colt not only bumps this song in his car, but secretly imagines that him and Teppei run L.A. – either together or with Colt taking the reins.

Takin’ Shots, Post Malone [p]

Drinkin’ all night, but we ain’t done yet / Waitin’ on the plug, but he ain’t come yet

Already losin’ control, this is the life that we chose

The first lyric and this song overall just give me club vibes, like the underground one they went to where MC wears that neon fit. The part in the second line that always gets me is ‘this is the life that we chose’ because being a part of this crew was a choice for most, and they knew what comes with this lifestyle.

Trouble on Central, Buddy [j]

So the entire song is pretty much the idea “I wish life were better and I’m daydreaming about how good things could be for me”. And to be honest, I think that the vibes of that fit Logan when he was young and broke, but at the same time, I could see Colt bumping this song in a convertible.

VEGAS, ABRA [j]

The whole song reminds me of the gambling scene and the high stakes of it. It kind of reads like the MC trying to fit in with dangerous criminals while she’s there despite the MPC thinking she’s not ready for it

#playchoices #choices rod #rodaw #ride or die: a bad boy romance #choices ride or die #playlist

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barnesbabee · 5 years ago

Text

Possessive || P.S

Summary: Jealousy is a dangerous feeling when it controls over people, but if it’s mixed with lust, it might be just what you need.

Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Reader

Words: some of them

Genre: Smut

⚠ public sex ⚠

A/N: I like writing for Seonghwa, even though he isn’t my bias I feel like he’s the one that holds the vibes/looks/personality for the aesthetic I usually aim to. Enjoy xx💖

ᴄʀᴇᴅɪᴛ

Seonghwa was a jealous man. He got very self-conscious when another guy or a girl started talking to you often, afraid he'd be replaced

"Hwa, baby, you've been my best friend for five years, if I wanted to replace you I would have. The main spot is yours, okay?"

It didn't matter how many times you'd told him the same sentence, it didn't matter how much you assured him he was the most important friend you'd ever had, he would still be very warry around other people that wanted to get closer to you, afraid you'd take more of a liking to them.

One day you were strolling through the park after the two of you had seen the movie, giggling at each other's silly jokes. Seonghwa left you sitting in one of the benches, under the familiar apple tree you'd often meet up at, so he could go grab ice creams for the two of you.

You were waiting for him, scrolling through your phone when someone called for you.

"Y/N?" A familiar voice asked.

You looked up to find an old friend of yours. He had grown up substancially since you’d last seen him and he was now a handsome, well-built man.

"Wooyoung!"

You stood up and hugged him, receiving an equally tight hug from the boy.

He had been on your class throughout elementary school and for a good part of high school until he moved schools since he'd gotten a contract with a basketball team from another school.

"How have you been? I haven't seen you in forever!" He asked you, wearing a bright smile as he stared at you.

"I'm great! I'm really good, but I've missed you!"

You punched his arm playfully, pretending to be mad he left you, and you both giggled.

"Well Y/N, you look good..." He paused and inspected your body from head to toe, his eyes lingering on your exposed thighs for a little longer "Fuck, you look really good."

You blushed a little at his comment and at the way his fingers twirled with the hem of your skirt.

Wooyoung had become a really attractive man ever since you'd last seen him, and you were a little flustered about the dirty attention he gave you, yet you felt proud of it.

"You don't look so bad yourself." You told him with a playful smile playing on your lips.

He chuckled at your little remark and pulled his hand away from you, shoving it in his pocket instead.

"Think so?"

You nodded and bit your lower lip slightly.

"Well, what do you think about going out some time? We could grab some dinner and hang out back at my place?"

The flirty look plastered on his face was making you feel something in the pit of your stomach. You didn’t get a chance to reply, however. Someone snatched you away from Wooyoung, grabbing your wrist and pulling you along with them.

You could recognize that black hair anywhere, and you sighed at the jealousy-fueled actions of your best-friend.

“Seonghwa, come on! I was chatting to an old friend...” You told him, whining at his behavior.

Seonghwa pinned you against the wall of the back of the public bathrooms, which you were just passing by.

“Chatting!? He was practically eye-fucking you.”

You were taken aback by his tone. It was angry, aggressive, deep... His dark eyebrows had a frown and his eyes looked into you as if you had betrayed him.

“Seonghwa you need to calm the fuck down. I told you that you are my best friend, I don’t know why you’re so fucking insecure!”

You were angry, and your eyes stared right back at his.

“What!?” He yelled, incredulous at your accusation of him being insecure.

“You heard me! I’ve told you countless times what you mean to me! Yet you’re still jealous of everyone that gets near me and you act super possessive, it’s suffocating! Why do you do it, Seonghwa!?”

His eyes scanned your features, his jaw was clenched and his breathing was uneven. It seemed as if he had a decision to take, yet he was uncertain. Ultimately, his hands grabbed your hips and pushed you harsher against the wall.

“You want to know why? This is why.”

His lips smashed against yours and started moving roughly. His tongue grazed along your bottom lip.

You were confused and torn between two mindsets. It was wrong. But why was it wrong? Why did this have to be wrong when it felt so right? Seonghwa’s hand gripping your thigh, his lips on yours, the neediness he was emitting... You were enjoying every bit of it and suddenly all of his jealousy and possessiveness made sense. He wanted to have you. And in your mind, you saw no wrong. He was your best friend, yes, but above that, he was also a beautiful man whom you trusted your life with. You tried to find a reason for it to be wrong, but couldn’t.

Your lips parted, giving Seonghwa the access he yearned for so much. Both of his hands were now on your thighs, and they moved upwards so his thumbs would brush over the hem of your panties.

His soft lips kissed the spot below your ear and they trailed down your neck, leaving small kisses and bites. His fingers sneakily hooked around your underwear and tugged it down. Your hands immediately pressed against his chest and pushed him back slightly and softly. He looked into your eyes, lust dripping from every trace in his face.

“Seonghwa... We shouldn’t do this... not here.” You whispered.

Seonghwa smirked and pressed a kiss against your neck.

“I’ll stop when you tell me to stop.” He whispered with a groggy voice and kept messing with your head.

You loved the way he was touching you and you couldn’t bring yourself to stop him or say anything, so you just moaned quietly and let yourself melt into his touch. Seonghwa chuckled against your skin.

“Didn’t think so either.”

God, he was such a fucking brat...

His hands pulled down your panties mid-thigh and his long fingers slid between your folds.

“Fuck...” You let our a breathy moan.

Seonghwa’s lips met yours once more in a needy kiss, an attempt to silence your future moans as two of his fingers slipped into you.

Your fingers gripped his hair, pulling him even closer to you as you whimpered into the kiss.

Seonghwa’s digits pumped in and out of you faster, and your legs trembled. When he could feel you were close, Seonghwa pulled them out and licked them clean, always maintaining eye contact with you.

Suddenly you heard footsteps, and a couple of hikers passed by you. The man and the woman eyed you weirdly, because of the suggestive position the two of you were in, but shrugged it off and walked away quickly.

The thought of being caught caused Seonghwa’s erection to grow, and your wetness to spread. He quickly turned you around and pressed his boner against your ass. Seonghwa placed a couple of kisses on your neck.

“Do you want this?” He asked, wanting to make sure he wasn’t forcing anything onto you.

“Yes...” You moaned.

Seonghwa fondled with his belt for a second before being able to unbuckle it. He unzipped his pants and pulled them down slightly along with his boxers, just enough for him to be able to pull out his cock.

Seonghwa parted your legs and pulled up your skirt. He found your entrance and pushed inside you. You bit your lower lip and shut your eyes tightly, painfully containing your moans.

Your best-friend waited for a second. He wanted to make sure you were comfortable.

“M-move.”

Seonghwa complied and gripped your hips. He started thrusting slowly in and out of you and soon the pace picked up. The man buried his head in the crook of your neck, trying to muffle his moans as well.

“S-shit, you feel so good...” He whispered against your skin.

You allowed a moan to escape your lips, as an incentive, and his thrusts became more violent.

His cock hit a sensitive spot inside you and you felt your body go weak for a second.

“Seonghwa I’m going to cum...” You whispered.

The man kissed your nape and kept his pace steady.

“Cum for me, beautiful...”

This dominant yet caring side of Seonghwa turned you on beyond anything, and it didn’t take long for you to climax with a moan that should have been quieter.

Pleasantly taken by surprise by the loud noise and the thought of someone hearing you, Seonghwa came. His warm spurt hit your walls and filled you up. As he pulled out, you both tried to catch your breaths.

You could feel his cum dripping down your thigh and so you slapped his chest.

“Seonghwa, ew.”

He blushed with a little proud smile and pulled a tissue out of the pack he had in his pocket. Seonghwa cleaned you up and pulled your panties back up. He kissed your temple and you started walking back to his flat.

“Seonghwa has a crush on me.” You sang and poked his side jokingly.

He glared at you lovingly, pretending to be mad at your mockery, and grabbed a hold of your hand.

“Shut up! Or you’ll get it harder.”

#seonghwa #park #park seonghwa #seonghwa smut #park seonghwa smut #ateez #ateez seonghwa #ateez seonghwa smut #ateez smut #ateez scenario #ateez scenarios #seonghwa scenarios #seonghwa scenario #ateez seonghwa scenario #kpop #kpop smut #kpop scenario #kpop scenarios

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obsessive-ego · 5 years ago

Text

Beelejuice finds your vibe

warning nsft content DUH

musical!Beetlejuice x fem reader

i apologize for this

You were supposed to have the day off, you had plans with beetlejuice to show him a hardcore horror game, movies were one thing but horror games amazed him. But no your incompetent coworkers called you in to cover and wouldn't take no for an answer.

You felt rotten having to cancel this, you tried to stand your ground with your boss, but it didn't work. You planned this day for a week, it was your only day off this week, you wanted to spend it with your friend.

"S'alright babes, shit happens" is what he says but his hair betrays him, streaks of purple peaking through his green hair.

You give him a small smile "I'll make it up to you, I promise, want me to text lydia to summon you back there?"

"Nah, shes in school dummy, and no matter how hard I push she wont take me, I'll just hang here, with the cat" he shrugs.

"I'll be back around 7pm if your still around, I promise, I'll make up for this"

"I'll hold ya to it sweets, I'd say a handy j would be a fair trade" is what he says, but you can tell his heart wasn't in it.

You bid your farewell, feeling awful about the whole thing, and with that the ghoul was alone.

The moment the front door closes, beetlejuice turns completely purple, as if he was trying his best not to in front of you.

You work too much and too hard in his opinion, you were stupid for it, too kind for your own good, you didnt realize how obviously your boss was taking advantage of your kind nature, but he did, not that you would listen.

He sighed, he was really looking forward to spending a whole day alone with you, maybe snooping through your stuff would cheer him up.

You have told beetlejuice multiple times, to stay out of your stuff, not that he'd ever listen, but what you dont know wont hurt ya.

Normally digging though your stuff would bring him the utmost joy, but today? It felt like a chore, he flopped down on your bed and groaned, he just wanted to crawl under the covers and mope.

Glancing up he sees your over full laundry basket, he signs maybe there was something fresh in there to get his mind off how your shitty boss ruined his day.

Wandering over he slumps down in front of the basket, digging right in looking for anything fresh, his heart wasn't really in the task, just doing it out of habbit rather then pleasure, until his hand hits something hard, curious, he pulls it out.

And there it was, the little treasure he searched so long and hard for, your vibrator, beetlejuice purple hue was long gone, to be replaced with a mix of electric pink and green.

It was bright pink, average sized, with a nice bulbous tip, beetlejuice was practically drooling at this, he KNEW you had one, but just couldn't find it, but what was it doing in the laundry basket?

Oh, could it be you used it earlier? Did You used it before you summoned him today and just tossed it aside? Were you so riled up to see his handsome mug you had to rub one out? The demon's mind was running wild, imagining his cute little breather an absolute mess, face flushed, hair a tossed mess, chest heaving for air, while this little treasure was buzzing and being pumped into that cute pussy, between those beautiful legs.

Beetlejuice, buzzing with excitement, gives the toy a kiss "you, my little friend are gonna fix everything"

With that beetlejuice plops down on your bed, his clothes long forgotten on the floor. "Tell me sweet stuff, are you well loved?~ do you visit my little breather often?~" he chuckles, trailing his tongue along the length of the toy. His musings were correct, the toy had a faint lingering taste, something salty yet sweet.

"Oh ho, VERY well loved indeed" he chuckles licking every inch of the toy, savoring the taste you left behind, god slash satan, he longed for the day he could taste it from the source.

"Now let's see what you can do sugar~" and with a click the vibe buzzes to life.

"Holy moly, you got some kick to ya, even on the lowest setting, ah, that little minx" he laughs.

He takes the buzzing toy, and starts circling his right nipple "Oh sugar, you know what I like~" the demon moaned, beetlejuice couldn't help but imagine you teasing him, straddling him, wearing nothing but a pair of panties and a smile.

The idea of you teasing the ghoul with your freshly used vibrator drove him wild, the man was an absolute mess, his hair as bright pink as the vibe he was playing with.

Switching to the other nipple he groans your name, moving lower, beetlejuice trails the vibe along his inner thigh and sighs, jolting when the toy meets his erect cock "oh babes, ready for the main show?~ let's see what this little toy can do~" Beetlejuice cranks the toy to max, shocked but the intensity, he removes the toy from his skin "Oh ho, sugar you're a naughty little thing aren’t you~" he sighs, teasing his cock up and down with the toy, imagining how such an intense toy would leave his breather an absolute mess, he could have came with that thought alone.

Running the vibe up and down his cock, smearing his pre cum over it, moaning and groaning your name, he was so close, fuck, the thought of you coaxing him to come for you while you drag the vibrator from base to tip was enough to push him over the edge, his cum all over his stomach and the vibe.

He sighs, proud of what he did, feeling much more content now, turning off the toy, he debates if he should clean it or chance leaving his cum on it, you were the oblivious type, but were you THAT oblivious? Probably not, but his spit on the other hand? That should be fine, it was no secret that beetlejuice was gross, gross enough to have no issue licking his own cum off your vibrator.

Clean as a whistle, with a nice thin layer of demon spit, hopefully you'll use it tonight, he couldn't help but drool from the idea.

Torn from his thoughts with the familiar clunk of you unlocking the door, you were home?! Not that you were home early, you were right on time, beetlejuice just lost track of what he was doing, fuck if you saw him like this, naked on your bed, vibrator in hands, youd never want to see him again, you'd straight up banish him for good, fuck.

"Beetlejuice? You still around?"

With a snap of his fingers he was full clothed, tossed the toy in the basket where it was found, he poses seductively on your bed waiting with one of your comics in hand.

You make your way to your bedroom "oh, you're still around, so I was thinking- what are you doing in my room?"

If beetlejuice heart was still beating it would have stopped there, theres no way you could suspect what he did, and yet he still felt a tad nervous "just reading some of those little comics you got sweets, BIG fan of that super sonico book" he chuckles

You sigh, seems like you bought it. "Okay so I was thinking, since today was payday, wanna order pizza? Home delivery?"

Beetlejuice jumps up, hair buzzing an electric green, he knew what that implies "Yes! Oh sugar you know it"

You smile, happy to see he was no longer glum, you leave to fetch your phone to make the order.

Beetlejuice sighs, then smiles, pleased "today was a good day."

#beetlejuice x reader #muscial beetlejuice x reader #nsft

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damnzawa · 4 years ago

Note

Hi! For your AU fest, can I request a afterlife! bakugou x reader x Todoroki, where bakugou used to date the reader but towards the end he kind of mistreated her. Reader dies and Todoroki is some sort of death god/spirit who falls in love with her! Bakugou feels really guilty and fights his way into the underworld for you. Then reader picks one! (up to you haha) sorry this is kinda long! Thank you so much! 😊

FIRST LOVE — T. SHOUTO

Note(s): oh wow,, a new post ?? congratulations me! anyways, i’ve been mia lately due to animal crossing so please pardon my lack of new posts. i’ll try my best to finish all the requests before school starts! enjoy :)

Warning(s): Lil angst i think,, also King Explosion Murder is your ex lol

—

In all the years you lived on Earth, you’ve hardly experienced love. Years and years, you’ve been asking yourself, what was your fault? What was the sin you committed that gave you a bad karma like that?

All those years and not a single drop of love was given to you. Of course you grew used to it, but still, you yearned for it. You craved for it. So much that you were desperate for someone, anyone, to show it to you.

It was that desperation that led you to your ex-husband, Bakugo Katsuki.

He was kind in his own way, fiery, feisty. He did things his way and didn’t let anybody get on his way. Maybe it was his looks or that damn personality of his that made you fall. But nonetheless, falling for Bakugo Katsuki was the biggest mistake of your life.

He was cruel. Menacing. Cold. He wasn’t the man you pictured him to be. What he first showed you was only a facade, a mask to cover what he truly is: a monster.

In all the years you lived on Earth, you’ve never really felt love. Not from your parents, siblings, nor from the husband you cherished with your whole heart. So, it was ironic that when you finally left the face of the Earth that you finally felt it.

You feared death. You dreaded the time when your heart stops beating and you stop breathing. You hated the silence that came afterwards. Everything about death was bad. Until you realized that your death was the beginning of something new. Something beautiful. It wasn’t the end. It was only just a beginning of a new chapter.

The man in front of you was different from Bakugo Katsuki. He wasn’t aggresive nor have anger issues. If anything, he seems like an empty shell. A hollow and broken one at that. But despite that, despite the cold feeling in his heart, he showed you love. He gave you all of his love. Even if it meant none was left for himself.

Todoroki Shouto was the God of Death. Yet despite his title, he wasn’t as menacing as it sounds. In fact, he’s soft. He wasn’t the living demon you expected him to be, he was so much more than that. He was your saviour. And he was also the one who made you experience what love is.

But it made you feel guilty. Was love supposed to make you feel guilty? It was sad. Love was never supposed to be sad. (Or so you think.)

It was sad because the love wasn’t mutual.

“It’s ok, Y/n.” He said in his usual soft voice but the look in his eyes betrayed his voice. He was hurt. Deeply. Of course he was. It was the first time he loved someone and he was rejected. “I’ll wait for you. And when the time comes, I’ll be here for you.”

“Shouto.” You placed a hand on his cheek to which he happily leaned into. “Don’t. Don’t do this to yourself.”

“Do what?”

“Love yourself before you can love someone else, Shouto.” You smiled sadly at him. “And when that time comes, I’ll be happy to accept your affections.” Your hand left his face, making him frown. The warmth it left on his face was slowly disappearing. “Besides, I, myself am not ready yet. You know this Shouto.”

He sighed and nodded. He respected your decision and frankly, you were right. It seemed that you’ll be practicing what you preached too. So, it made him a bit glad.

You and Todoroki stayed friends, even after the rejection. Honestly, you expected him to leave, shut the door on your face, but he didn’t. Instead, he stayed with you, the both of you finally learning to love yourselves first before others. He stayed with you through thick and thin, in sickness and in health. He stayed with you through all the bad and good times, as you did with him, and for the first time in forever, you were finally ready.

You were about to say it. Those words that Todoroki wanted to hear. You opened your mouth to say something when suddenly a commotion was heard in the distance. A very familiar one.

“Let me see her! Fucking damnit! Get out of my way extras!” You felt you heart drop at the voice. It was him. Bakugo Katsuki.

“Y/n. Stay here.” Todoroki instructed you but it was too late. Your feet moved on instinct and started running towards Bakugo. You didn’t know why but hearing him made you want to see him badly, for some reason. You didn’t know why but somehow, you forgot about Todoroki for a second.

Katsuki.

Katsuki... died?

Arriving at the scene, your breath hitched once your eyes fell on a certain angry blond. It was him, in the flesh. Standing there with that trademark scowl of his.

“Shut up dumbfucks! I don’t fucking care!” You were about to approach him when a hand found it’s way on your shoulder. Glancing back, you saw Todoroki with a worried expression on his face. He wasn’t worried about your well-being though. He was worried you’d leave him for Bakugo.

“Shouto. It’s ok.” You flashed him a smile, as if to reassure him that everything will be fine. “It’ll be done in a jiffy.”

Removing Todoroki’s hand from your shoulder, you approached Bakugo, who instantly calmed down at the sight of you.

“Katsuki.”

“Y/n.” Bakugo teared up and immediately hugged you. “I’ve been searching everywhere for you, you goddamn extra! I even made a deal with some of the fuckers above just to meet you!”

“Katsuki-“

“I know I’ve been fucking cruel to you. I’m not the best at this shitty things. But, come with me, Y/n. We’ll start again. I promise I’ll be better.” Your mouth went agape at the amount of emotions Bakugo Katsuki gave off. Regret. Grief. Sadness. Despair. Love. It shocked you to the core.

“Katsuki.” You called him once you recovered from the shock. “Go home.” This time it was Bakugo’s turn to be shocked.

“What the fuck? What do you mean?”

“Go home, Katsuki. I don’t want to.”

“Why wouldn’t you want to?”

“Katsuki, have you considered my emotions when you planned all of this? Have you thought about what I would feel?” His silence gave you the answer you needed. “See? I’m tired of this, Katsuki. I don’t want this anymore.”

—

Todoroki hasn’t seen you for weeks ever since the Bakugo incident. He was worried about you. Were you ok? Were you eating well? Were you sleeping ok?

Heavens, he just wanted to know you’re ok.

“Shouto.” Your voice snapped him out of his train of thoughts. Todoroki immediately stood up from his throne and engulfed you in a hug. He felt relieved. Glad that you were ok. Glad that you were here. Glad that you didn’t leave him.

“Someone missed me.” You joked, but you both knew it was true. In all honesty, you missed him too. But you needed the time to figure things and your feelings out.

“You suddenly left without a note. Of course I’d miss you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You needed time.”

“Even so, I worried you.”

“It’s ok.” Todoroki gave you a small smile. “You’re here now, that’s what matters.”

“Hey Shouto. Remember the question you asked me?”

“Hmm? Of course I do. It makes me cringe everytime I think about it.”

—

What happened? What the fuck happened? One second you felt flames engulf your body then the next you were lying on a boat. Boat to where? You didn’t know. But it was giving you the creepy vibes for sure.

Upon further inspection, you spotted a few boats nearby, all headed at the same direction as you. The people in it were just as confused as you were. Where were you exactly? And what happened?

After what seemed like eternity, you finally reached the shore. You reluctantly stepped out of the boat and took a quick look at your surroundings. It was foggy, overall looking like a horror movie. Oh my God, were you gonna die?

“You already did.” A voice interrupted to you. You turned around and saw a dual hair colored boy, infront of you. His answer confused you. You already what?

“You already died.” What? Your face paled at that. Then suddenly, memories of you being trapped in your burning home came flashing back. Oh God. Oh God. You really are dead.

But why aren’t you covered in burns?

“It’s just that.”

“Ok, stop reading my mind.” You glared at the man infront of you. “Who are you anyways?”

“My name is Todoroki Shouto, and I am the God of Death.” If your face went pale earlier, it went pale-r than before. Did you just talk back to the fucking God of Death? Oh shit, oh shit.

“Yes, you did.” You glared at him. “But I don’t mind. Just answer my question.”

“What question?”

“Do you want to be my wife?” You choked at that. What the fuck? Was he for real? You just barely met the guy! You were sure he doesn’t know you too!

“Yes, that’s true.” He replied to your thoughts. “Let’s get to know each other then.”

Was it possible to kill the God of Death?

—

“You were clueless back then.” You giggled. “And honestly, you still are.”

“I’m offended.” Todoroki replied, but the smile on his face grew at your remarks.

“Good. I want you to be.” You joked. “But jokes aside, is that offer still on the table?”

“What?”

“Do you wanna be my husband?” You asked him with a grin on your face.

“Sure, I guess.”

“You guess?!”

Bakugo Katsuki was your past, and now Todoroki Shouto was your present and possibly your future.

#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #todoroki shouto x reader #todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto/reader #todoroki/reader #bakugo katsuki/reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugo/reader #TODOROKI IS THE CLUELESS GOD OF DEATH #i love them both

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twokinkybeans · 5 years ago

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Inch By Inch (Sequel to Seven Inches - Tailor!AU)

A sequel to Seven Inches, written for both our TwoKinkyBeans July Exchange plus the line prompt that Lien sent me:

“Oh” Tony coos as Peter gives him another quick gasp. “Can’t get enough of me, can you?”

I hope you guys enjoy!!!

Warnings: nff, smut, handcuffs, light dom/sub, pet names, a size kink I didn’t quite intend to write but IT HAPPENED.

Peter stares at the supple material that’s spread out all over the desk. He swallows and reaches out for it. His fingers trace past the tightly woven twill texture. May, from the other side of the shop, cocks an eyebrow at him. “You’re alright up there?” Peter’s cheeks flare up right away. He tries to come up with a somewhat plausible excuse as to why he takes such a sudden interest in the navy blue material. He can’t think of any. The only thing that keeps replaying in his mind is Tony’s promise. He can nearly feel the man’s hot breath tickling on his ear again. “Make that tweed suit yourself, kid, and it’ll be the one I wear when I take that sweet little ass for the first time.” The man had slapped is butt and resumed their earlier conversation as though nothing had happened. Fuck, he wants Tony so bad.

“I, eh-” Peter stutters, “-I want to learn how to make a suit myself.” May squints at him, searching his face. “Why do I have a feeling this has something to do with a certain customer?” She presses her lips together, but her eyes betray how she’s trying to hold back a wide grin. Peter smiles sheepishly. “I wouldn’t know what you’re talking about.” “Mmmh.”

Peter’s focus is nowhere to be found. He wants to listen to May as she gently explains different sewing techniques to him, he truly wants to. Yet, it’s only Tony’s voice he hears inside his mind. Gosh. He wonders what it’ll feel like to have Tony inside of him. Sure, he’s been topped by other guys before, but nothing is comparable to the size of Tony’s massive cock. He can already imagine it sticking out of the thick pants proudly. The suit itself would be a hot as fuck look without question. Would Peter be able to feel the structure of the fabric against his thighs? Feel every little fiber?

Peter craves it all. The man’s voice, his hot gaze. Since the ‘Shop Incident’, they haven’t even laid hands on each other again. Okay, well, they had. But nothing truly sexual. Just chaste kisses and whispered promises as it’d been impossible to find space in their shared schedules. Peter has been very occupied with his newly found Spider-Man duties now that Tony had taken the role as a mentor too. His new suit is insanely good, and Peter loves patrolling in it and exploring all the latest tech the man included. Tony has been busy also, and he hasn’t made it into the shop once.

“Peter Benjamin Parker, get your ass back to earth.” “Wha-” Peter breathes out startled and blinks a few times. There, he’s got no focus.

No.

Focus.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but your crush is as big as Stark’s wealth.” His aunt shakes her head almost teasingly. “Aaaargh, May, how do I get rid of it?” “You don’t. Well, you will eventually. But while it’s there, there’s nothing you can do to stop it. You’ll be walking with your head on cloud nine for quite some time.”

Peter is silent for a few seconds, letting her words sink in. “Do you… Do you think I’m too naive?” “How- Why do you think that?” “He’s Tony Stark, May. Am I… Delusional for thinking he might actually want me?” “It’s clear he does, isn’t it?” “I mean…” His voice trails off. May finally puts the fabric back down on the table. “Yeah?” “More? I mean more. Oh, I don’t know. I don’t even know if I want more, then how can I even think about what he might want from me?” May makes a shushing noise, shaking her head and grabbing Peter’s hands within her own. She smiles sweetly at him in the way only she can. A warm, comforting feeling spreads in his chest, and his panic dies down.

“Peter,” she whispers and tucks a loose curl back behind his ear. “As much as I understand your nerves… They’re only natural. And there’s no hurry. Now tell me, what’s with the suit? Every time you see it, you get a little weird.” “He… He made a promise about it.” “Oh?” “Mmmh, I’ll spare you the details.” “Oh.” She chuckles. “In that case, why don’t we get back to making it?” “That sounds like a solid plan.”

And that’s what they do.

Peter’s heart hammers in his chest when his eyes dart up to the top of the immensely large building that is the Stark Tower. He’s been here before, obviously. But never as Peter. Always as Spider-Man- with the other Avengers around as well. Now, he’s just Peter. A tailor-in-learning. On his way to deliver a handmade suit to his crush/mentor/hero. Tony. Tony Stark. The richest man in the States.

How the fuck did he get here.

He stares at the intimidating entrance. Men and women in their sophisticated clothes walk in and out of the building. He feels terribly out of place, but he takes a deep breath and pushes through his nerves. The large, busy foyer nearly overloads his sense. However, a few deep breaths help him to shut out the visual and audible stimuli. He strides over to the reception area and smiles politely at the lady behind the computer. “Hi! I’m Peter, Peter Parker, Miss. I uh, I’m here to see Mr. Stark? About his new suit?” He holds up the package to show it. The woman returns his smile and nods. “Let me check his schedule, Sir.”

Sir. Peter almost snorts but feels very proud at the same time.

“Mr. Stark is expecting you in his private quarters. Here,” she says. She hands him a keycard and then points towards the elevator. “The keycard grants you access to both the elevator and his suite. It’ll take you to the right floor automatically. Please hand it in when you leave the building.” Peter nods, his jaw slack as he takes in all the information. He slides the keycard through his fingers, twisting- turning and playing with it nervously. Pressing his lips together, Peter thanks the lady once more and makes his way towards the elevator.

It isn’t until he actually sets foot into the metal box that he realizes what exactly the woman had told him. He nearly gasps. His heart misses a beat and his cheeks heat up.

Private quarters.

Oh God- Oh God. Tony has set up the meeting in his private quarters. That means something. Doesn’t it? Or is he the type of man that doesn’t care about random people stalking through his living space? Peter has no clue. He hopes he’s an exception to the general rule. That no one else is allowed in the man’s suite.

He hopes… Well- He hopes Tony and him are going to have sex. Real sex this time. Tony promised. He told Peter they would. He wouldn’t back down now, would he? Peter sighs, tapping his foot in restless motion. Peter eyes the small display indicating the floor they’re at and inhales slightly when he sees they’re nearly there. This is it. This is-

Ding.

Peter clutches the suit a little closer and hesitantly steps out. Everything in the Tower is absolutely gigantic, and apparently, the suite is no exception to that. Peter can’t even imagine having… This much space. The glass windows let the sunlight cast a golden glow over the man’s presumable costly possessions. He takes it all in. The large, plush sofa. The pool table. The fucking hot tub in the middle of the room with circular descending steps around. A soft, instrumental beat is playing through the hidden speakers. Peter wonders how on earth he will find Tony seeing that this is just his leisure room. “Mr.-” “Ah, Parker, there you are. I’ve been waiting for you.”

Peter turns around startled and stares at the man leaning against the side of the bar. A smirk plays on Tony’s lips and he raises his glass. “You want some?” “I, eh-” Peter babbles, still a little dumbfounded. Tony flails his free hand, and Peter decides a quick why the fuck not. If he’s old enough to fuck whoever he wants, he can sure take a small drink, right?

A few minutes later, they’re seated on the large plush sofa. Peter sips his Tequila Sunrise cocktail. Tony insisted that Peter would enjoy it and much to Peter’s liking and dismay, Tony was right. He’s not 100% sure what’s in there, but he sure isn’t complaining. “So,” Tony smirked, “-I see you brought a new suit?” Peter eyes the suit, still neatly packed in its cover. “I- I did, Mr. Stark. Would you like to try it on?” Tony tilts his head. His eyes burning, prodding and oh God- Peter can feel his own heartbeat speed up. “Show it to me first, boy.”

They stare at each other for a brief moment. They both know what’s happening. They’re slipping back into their roles. Just as they had in the shop. Tony’s voice already dropping a notch, the rough scratch in his words catching on his tongue so sweetly. So… Authoritative. “Of course, Sir,” Peter gushes and rushes to pull the zipper down. Carefully, he takes out the suit, smiling slightly at the feel of the thick, textured fabric as it slides past his hands. Tweed suits are not very high in demand, but they definitely radiate a certain chic vibe. Maybe because it’s so timeless. “Here you go.”

Peter stands up, holding the piece by the clothing hanger and blushes when he hears Tony’s appreciative hum. The man stands up too. Slow. Calculating. He strides closer, making Peter’s dick twitch every time the man’s leather soles hit the floor. When Tony stops right in front of him, the older man grins. “Oh, isn’t it just gorgeous,” he coos. “Almost as beautiful as you. Tell me, did you make this?” “I-I did, Sir. My aunt, uhm- May. She obviously helped me get the technique right.” “Goooooood.”

A pause.

“Now, be a good boy and help me change clothes.” “Yes, Mr. Stark,” Peter whispers breathlessly. For a short second, Peter waits for Tony to make the first move. It never comes- oh. A strangled noise escapes from his throat when he takes a step closer. His fingers moving up to help Tony get out of his cardigan sweater. He’s the one making the movements, and yet it feels almost humiliating to undress Tony. In the very best way, of course. “Am I doin’ it right?” “Mmh- Just keep it up, honeycomb.” Peter nearly cracks up at the pet name, but the lustful look in Tony’s eyes keeps him going. He’s deliberately not being very careful. His fingers brushing past Tony’s naked, warm skin at every possible opportunity where he slides the fabric off the man’s shoulders. The icy, blue light coming from the Arc Reactor shining freely onto Peter’s face. It’s… Such a powerful device. Peter groans. “I can feel the vibrations,” he mumbles as he keeps staring at it. His hands slowly trace down now. He definitely should work a little faster if he wants the man inside him sooner rather than later. It’s not gonna happen automatically. His hands work on the fly of the pants and he tugs them down impatiently. Then, he drops onto his knees. Carefully untying Tony’s shoelaces and taking them off together with the pants. All that’s left now are the tight, black undies. “Leave them on for now. Go on, dress me.”

“Oh, oh!” Peter whimpers out loud. His arms are shackled to the headboard above his head. His legs are draped over Tony’s still fully clothed shoulders and the man’s cock pounds into him harsh and fast. The soft, thick wool pants have slid down to Tony’s knees where it rests on the sturdy mattress. “Oh” Tony coos as Peter gives him another quick gasp. “Can’t get enough of me, can you?” “P-Please, gimme everything, every last inch of you,” Peter pants heavily. He feels so incredibly full. It’s nothing like he’s ever experienced before, and it only aids in riding his ecstasy more and more. He can’t really feel Tony’s balls slapping against his skin yet, and somehow it’s the only thing he’s ever wanted at this moment. “More, need more!” “Yes, ’m gonna make you fall apart at the seams,” Tony growls. He slows down his movements for a good second and tightens his secure grip on Peter’s hips, dragging him up a bit. Peter snorts at the pun, but the light chuckle morphs into a loud and pleading moan when Tony slowly but surely fills Peter up wholly. The weight of his balls finally settling against his skin. Peter’s eyes water at the near overwhelming intensity of pure happiness coursing through him. He did it. He took a full seven inches inside of him.

Everything that happens after that is one big blur. Tony manages to hold him up with just one hand, using the other to drag sweet strokes on Peter’s hard and leaking cock. Everything just feels so goddamn perfect, the fire in his stomach building and building and building and- “I can’t- I can’t stop oh fuck oh Tony!!” Peter cries out, cum spurting from his cock right onto his chest. His eyes are pressed shut, his head pressed back into the soft, fluffy pillow. “I keep coming...” he mumbles completely dazed. It’s true though, he can feel the muscles jerk- aiding in forcing even the last few drops out of him. Tony’s hips stutter. His breathing simply stops as he presses into Peter with such force that it brushes past Peter’s overstimulated prostate again. It stays there when the cum oozes from the man’s dick. It fills him up, Peter can feel the slight pulsing inside of him.

“Oh, sweet boy…” Tony murmurs after a few seconds of undisturbed serenity. The firm grip suddenly becomes a very soft caress on Peter’s tired muscles, and it’s only then that he feels they’re trembling. Slowly, Tony helps him put his legs down. As a result, his cock slips out, and Peter gasps when his hole desperately tries to clench around nothing after the fast pounding it received. “Mmh- feels cold,” he mumbles. Tony is quick to respond to that, shifting around so he’s able to tug the sheets up to cover the exhausted boy. Peter lets out an appreciative groan. “So,” he smiles sleepily, the tiredness catching up with him, “-do you like your new suit?” Tony snorts, and he nods. “It’s perfect, such hidden talent in you, Spider-Boy.” “Oh, go fuck yourself,” he giggles. Tony tilts his head playfully. “Nah, I’d rather fuck you. After a short break, obviously.”

Peter gives the man a teasing push, only to draw him down and nuzzle into his chest. He might not be sure what Tony wants from him, but Peter sure as fuck wants cuddles right here, right now. “Hug me.” “As you wish, honeycomb.”

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regrettablewritings · 4 years ago

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Animatic/Storyboard Music

Got bored/procrastinate-y on coloring in this ultra intricate card for my mom. So I’m just gonna make a list of songs I think make for good animatic material. Because why not/I wanna foist my musical tastes on people/ @locke-writes got me in a music binge. For the most part, it’s just gonna be me explaining the meanings or the vibe or what they generally tend to be used for, but really it’s mostly subjective so imaginate whatchu wanna.

“Trust Me” - The Devil’s Carnival Originally depicting a story about the Scorpion and the Frog, it’s the perfect song for when you want to depict the dynamic between a gullible or at the very least more grounded character and a figure whose intentions . . . may be less than pure. Or good for anyone, really.

“The Dismemberment Song” - The Blue Kid I have a playlist dedicated to songs whose content and sound are just . . . not married to one another, but got a weird flirtationship situation going on. Anyway, I’ve seen people say that they like to imagine it’s sung through the POV of a scorned housewife who’s finally Had Enough™️. And . . . They’re really not wrong for it. Really, though, it’s just the right song for when a sadist is just ready to gut a fucker but is disturbingly jolly about it.

“Love Me Dead” - Ludo Continuing with my trend of songs about people in less than ideal situations, “Love Me Dead” is straight to the point: The relationship is just awful and the guy gets nothing from it, but he can’t help but be hopelessly in a state of adoration for the woman he’s latched on to (“You’re born of a jackal! YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!!”)

“Constellations” - The Oh Hellos There actually isn’t a plot to this song, it just feels really good (as all songs by The Oh Hellos are prone to be). However, if you feel a need to portray the concept of having to reorganize your thoughts after realizing that maybe they weren’t what you initially thought, and then coming to the conclusion that even though everything changes as a result, you’ll be alright? This is the song for you.

“A Kindling of Sorts” - The Oh Hellos An instrumental piece that is like . . . It’s related to another song of theirs about nationalism called “Torches”, so make of that what you will. (I personally have been using it to imagine storyboarding an opening for an animated The Witcher series.)

“The Other Side” - The Greatest Showman I know everyone and their mom has used this to portray situations like villains trying to get good guys to join their side. But I dun curr, it’s a fun song. That, and I like what Emilyamio did with her interpretation. It’s fun. For a basic rundown, know it’s another song about two characters’ dynamics being explored, with one coming to the other with a proposal that they join them in whatever endeavors they have in store. It’s often portrayed as something evil, but it really doesn’t have to be, as the original context was more about letting loose than anything.

“The Thief and the Moon” - Shawn James A much more mellow piece. Simple and straight to the point: A thief tells the Moon that he plans on stealing her light to shade the world in darkness. The Moon insists that the thief would only doom the world by doing so, to which the thief clarifies that he doesn’t care; if the world is shrouded in shadow, it means he will be able to steal with more ease (“My very existence is a race to attain wealth”). Disgusted, the Moon essentially curses the man with a warning that his greed can and will bring about his end -- and leave him to be forgotten by the rest of mankind, once it happens.

“Villainous Thing” - Shayfer James I’ve seen people say that this song is about singing to a cadaver but I can’t quite find anything confirming that (translation: I’m too lazy to look too into it). Regardless, it’s a fun ditty that yet again portrays someone with less than pure intentions encouraging someone to join him in some good old fashion villainy, as they’ve clearly endured their fair share of hardships and surely wanted to do evil anyway (“You’ll find no ever after here, it’s clear that isn’t what you came for“).

“Necromancin Dancin” - Bear Ghost Straight forward and fun as fuck: A necromancer apparently seems to cross classes and try his hand at barding by not only raising an army of the dead, but by also making them dance in order to make conquering the world easier. Because . . . a body doing Disco Duck isn’t scary, I guess.

"Aquaman” - Walk the Moon A song about one half of a couple wanting to become more involved in their relationship, but still having some nervousness about doing so. If you somehow haven’t heard this song yet, you gotta because it’s the cutest shit.

“Jenny’s Tale” - Ren I’ll be brutally honest, it’s about a woman named Jenny who just wants to get home after a long day of work and an unfortunate encounter with a 14 year old named Screech who gets way in over his head. As in, like, a death happens. That being said, I need. Like. An animated music video of this song. I imagine this shit in gritty charcoal or painted on glass, it just needs this. Somebody who isn’t me who knows what they’re doing, please look into this.

“The Curse of the Fold” - Shawn James As cheesy as it sounds, it basically boils down to not giving up or yielding. But what makes it so cool is the fact that Shawn James makes all his songs basically sound like a western gothic soundtrack. Which helps, because he admits that the title is also a reference to poker, in which giving up too often or too easily can often rob you of a delicious reward gained through perseverance and sacrifice.

“Thank God I’m Not You” - Himalayas I prefer to imagine this for an arrogant asshole of a character. Because that’s exactly what this song is about: They’re a liar and a thief, they’ve been called the son of Satan, and yet they consider themselves lucky -- ‘cause at least they ain’t you! If you have a character in mind who’s a delightful, punchable little shit, this is probably either their anthem or at least on the playlist you inevitably made for them.

"Passerine" - The Oh Hellos So there’s a common trend in The Oh Hellos’ discography that tends to explore the two founders’ experiences with faith and their growth in how they understand it or recognize it. With “Passerine”, the concept being explored is the experience they had when it came to taking a step back and realizing just how many of their supposed “fellow Christians” were actually doing some rather unchristian things, so to speak. When they “prune[d] their feathers”, it became clear that they had less in common with certain people proclaiming to be Christian while also spouting bigotry and greed. However, the desire to move away from such influences comes with the feeling of being torn, as moving too far away from the Bible leaves the singer feeling as though she is betraying something she holds dear. As a result, “Passerine” symbolizes not a breakage from faith, but a breakage from blind faith as they understood it, and the inevitable feeling of being torn that comes along with expanding upon how one views their beliefs and those around them. It’s therefore not uncommon to see Good Omens animatics using this song. (Something I also noticed is that throughout the song, you hear pieces of “Constellations”. TOH have a tendency to reference previous pieces, and considering “Constellations” is a song about changing perspective and the meanings we apply to them, it fits in beautifully with a song about reevaluating one’s stance.)

“Like the Dawn” - The Oh Hellos As stated before, a lot of TOH’s discography draws inspiration from their faith. In this case, it’s an outright retelling of the Garden of Eden, specifically when Adam awoke to find Eve had been created. What makes this iteration stand out to most, however, is that the singer is female, which seems to change the vibe you get. It sweetens the feeling of wonder we often forget the first man might’ve felt upon seeing somebody made for him, creating an air of beauty yet comfort with such lines as “And like the dawn, you broke the dark and my whole earth shook” or “You were the brightest shade of sun I had ever seen.” Even without the awareness or an interest in religious influences, it still manages to be a very feel-good song -- which is the mark of an overall good song in general!

“Confession” - RED Dealing with the constant battle of feeling ashamed that how you feel on the inside isn’t in sync with how you present yourself on the outside. That you should feel bad for smiling out at the world while screaming and thrashing -- like it’s a lie. But you can’t help it: It’s what you’re accustomed to. Though it does end on a hopeful note with the singer deciding that they want to reach out for help and rid themselves of this feeling of pain they have inside.

“When I Grow Up” - Matilda . . . Only if you want to cry. Seriously. When you’re a kid, everything seems difficult but you’re positive that once you grow up, everything will change: You’ll be tall enough to climb the trees you were too small to, you’ll be able to carry everything because you’re stronger, you’ll be brave enough to fight the monsters hiding in your room, you’ll finally have all the answers. . . . But life isn’t that simple. We wish it were, but it isn’t. There’s this bittersweetness about this song, about a sense of purity we unfortunately grow out of where we think things will be just the same enough for us to do what we want when we want, but things are more complicated than that. We still struggle to reach, to bear the weight, to not be afraid, to have even a fraction of the answers. But! We’re reminded that just because we’re told life isn’t fair, doesn’t mean we have to take it. After all, nothing changes when nothing happens. And even beyond that? It helps to remember that we’re never quite done growing up; there’s always more to learn, so remember to be patient with yourself.

“Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In!” - Will Wood and the Tapeworms This is . . . a song. The lyrics are honestly kinda all over the place and shooting rapid fire, making it a bit difficult to discern what exactly the singer is going on about. It makes for a pretty crazy song that suggests somebody’s going unhinged, which is apparently precisely the intention?? I’ve seen a lot of people interpret this as a song about a guy who is already at a low point in his life but nonetheless is going, “. . . I bet I can go deeper. Hand me my shovel.”

“No Reason” - Beetlejuice God if i had a youtube channel the segment i would spend on this song would be so juicy just ripe and thicc with thoughts and feelings i tell ya rich like a fresh fatty peach the apple that tempted Eve and gagged Adam yes ‘Nother song that explores the dynamic between two differing people and their worldviews. At its simplest, “No Reason” is about two opposite ends of a spectrum coming to a head: Idealistic and hippie-dippy Delia is convinced that everything happens for a reason, while cynical and depressed Lydia asserts that everything happens at random and it doesn’t matter anyway because we’re all going to die. And even though the delivery is ultimately a comedic one, you get more insight as to why one another feels the way that they do: Lydia, as we’ve previously learned, has recently lost her mother to an illness, which has left her depressed and feeling invisible (a theme in the show); whereas Delia’s failed marriage and desperate attempts to nonetheless be happy have left her dependent on the idea that these things had to have happened for a reason, otherwise, her pain would’ve been for nothing. What’s important is that neither side is actually appointed as the winner, with the song ultimately ending that the universe is random for a reason.

“Barbara 2.0″ - Beetlejuice Without spoiling anything (or at least too much), “Barbara 2.0″ is about growth. It’s about learning to put your foot down after a literal lifetime of being passive out of fear of what might happen and just accepting that nothing will happen if nothing happens -- but that doesn’t make whatever happens good.

“Bleed Magic” - IDHKBTFM It’s either about a killer or a vampire. No, seriously: When Dallon Weekes was asked about what the story of the song was, that was his answer. I personally prefer to think of it as a vampire or demon of some kind, given that the song came out around Halloween. Perfect for yet another example of somebody (likely supernatural) having an upper hand on an unsuspecting mortal. ...I have way too many of these on this list, I swear I don’t have a problem —

“Feel Good Drag” - Anberlin A toxic relationship of sorts. In that it shouldn’t be a relationship to begin with. Depicts the singer being approached by an ex, who seeks a one-night stand while her current boyfriend is out of town. However, the singer is aware that trying to continue anything regardless of the situation is a moot point: Even when they were together, their relationship was doomed from the start, and nothing about that is going to change -- especially now.

“Soviet Trumpeter” - Katzenjammer (It’s kinda difficult to work with this one but I’ve seen people work with less or stranger.) Based off the life of one Eddie Rosner, a Jewish Polish trumpeter whose fame within the USSR unfortunately faded due to the Soviet Union’s heavy censorship. Even if nothing is to be done with it, it still paints a melancholic picture of a talented man’s skills being largely unknown as a result of things beyond his control. All wrapped up in a song that denotes a strange deterioration in a way I can’t quite place.

“Apple Blossom” - The White Stripes On its face, it’s a very sweet song: The singer encourages his beloved to be vulnerable enough with him to tell him her troubles and to let him “sort them out for [her]”. She’s clearly saddened, and seeing so distresses him to where he insists that he will do whatever he can to make her happy. However, the tone of the song and certain lines make it easy to twist into yet another song of a character attempting to seduce somebody into a state of vulnerability . . .

“You’ve Got Possibilities” - It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s Superman The one singular song people actually liked from this forgotten musical. Perfect for when somebody intends on giving somebody else a makeover. Y’know, after totally roasting them on their posture and clothing. If you want to add a lil something extra, know that the context is that a lady wants to give Clark Kent a makeover, insisting that in spite of his schlubby appearance, there’s gotta be something underneath. I repeat: She is telling this to Clark freaking Kent.

“Still” - Anastasia In the context, the show’s antagonist (not bad guy, there’s a difference) finds himself torn between obligation and personal interest: Does he fulfill his duty and live up to expectations set upon him by his father and the society he’s been selected to help uphold? Or does he let a woman he has become fond of go? Is she truly as innocent as she claims? Or is she well aware of what she’s doing? And every time he thinks he’s reached a conclusion, he can’t help but thing, “But still . . .” Good for when you want to portray a character conflicted between obligations of politics and what their heart wants.

“Two Nobodies in New York” - [title of show] Two young men plan on entering an upcoming theatrical festival but struggle with what to even submit. This song in particular focuses on them trying to figure out what to even write, the concept of fame, and if wanting the certain things that may come with fame can mean anything from being sell-outs to getting a sitcom. It’s admittedly specific, but it’s a cute and funny interaction between two guys who are, for the most part, actually in sync with their thoughts and anxieties. For the time being.

“Into the Unknown” - Idina Menzel Look, I refuse to watch that movie. I just do. But I will take this song over That Other One any day. Mostly because I personally like to imagine that the singer in this song is about to embark on a Pixaresque journey after accidentally leaving her home during the night of The Wild Hunt, accidentally separating her spirit from her body and thus giving her a very limited time to get back to it before she remains a soul trapped in a whirlwind of ghosts forever. But first: Let’s sing about that strange howling that coaxes her so.

“You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” - The Offspring I sure do long songs that can characterize a shithead . . . Anywho! The smoothest way to go is just to portray some cocky, manipulative shit who’s used to just lying and cheating their way to get what they want before slipping away without any consequences -- to a point. There’s the option of portraying the betrayer’s comeuppance, but there’s also the frustratingly delicious option of just letting them get away with whatever to lie another day.

“Why Should I Worry” - Billy Joel When in doubt, go to earlier Disney. Because like it or not, they had some bops. And when in the need of portraying a happy-go-lucky (probably idiotic) doofus and his more neurotic or cynical friend going about their life with the former just Mr. Magooing it while the latter suffers more realistic consequences? You go with this song. If you want. That’s just me.

“Transformation” - Brother Bear For when you want to invoke a mystical or otherworldly feeling. There’s really not much more I can say except to encourage you to listen to it and watch the scene if you can find it. You’ll get the vibe.

“No Girl’s Toy” - Raggedy Ann and Andy: A Musical Adventure It’s a big shame this movie is relatively unknown and never got a proper VHS release or anything -- mainly because the music in this cult classic is definitely stuff I could see becoming standards. I could see people performing “I Never Get Enough” for little shows, or recycling “Blue” for a different show. Thankfully, somebody was able to upload a clear enough sounding recording of “No Girl’s Toy”, so at least we have that. In context (just...follow me on this), Raggedy Ann’s brother, Raggedy Andy, has had enough of being subjected to “girly things” while in the nursery. Additionally, though, the way the song was written means it can also be interpreted as just a guy who refuses to let himself be yanked around regardless of how thick the sugar being laid on him is. . . . If you wanna poke fun as a character for trying to appear tougher than what he is, here’s the song. (That being said, Andy is a sweetheart at the end of the day. No amount of tough-fronting will hide that.)

“I Enjoy Being a Girl” - Flower Drum Song (It is by sheer coincidence that this song follows the above.) Really, it’s exactly what it says on the tin: The singer enjoys being a girl and what all it entails for her. She loves her feminine form, she loves the attention she gets, she loves dolling herself up, she loves frilly dresses, and she hopes to one day marry a guy who enjoys “having a girl like [her].” And honestly? Good on her! Love whatcha love, lovely! Seriously, though, it’s a cute song for anyone who just wants to indulge in some girliness.

“Chip on My Shoulder” - Legally Blonde Come on: It’s Legally Blonde. You know what this bop is, or at least have an idea of it. But since I love this song, I’ll indulge: Disheartened by her failure to both win back her ex and succeed in the fast-paced environment of Harvard, the normally bright-eyed Elle is ready to call it quits. That is, until junior partner Emmett gets involved. Unimpressed by her story, Emmett reveals that he got to where he was by busting his ass due to having a chip on his shoulder from his rough beginnings — and maybe a chip on the shoulder is exactly what Elle needs to survive. And as somebody driven by spite, I can appreciate that kind of message. Anywho, it all in all is a song about growth and learning how to be “driven as hell” to keep up with an opportunity that may not be easy to take, but is not one to be passed by.

“What Do I Need with Love?” - Thoroughly Modern Millie “What Do I Need with Love?” asks exactly that: He could date a different girl every night of the week if he so wanted, and never once had any desire to go steady before. He considers himself lucky to have never fallen for anyone -- until now. Which he’s not! He’s not in love. ...He totally is and, by his own admission, he’s got it bad it’s terribly adorable.

“Interlude IV” - Zach Callison The entire album is actually a narrative about a failed relationship of Callison’s and I’m sure the other songs are just as great fuel for animatics -- I’m just too caught up on listening to this one over and over. Sometimes, we just wanna listen to Steven Universe cuss and be openly furious. Seriously, though, even without the context of the rest of the story, you get the idea well enough: A spiteful Zach decides to get back at the one that broke his heart in such a painful way, whereas a well-meaning friend insists they just leave it be and move on. While this technically would be the better and healthier option, Zach is just too far gone with rage to let it go and decides to take care of things by himself.

“Evermore” - Beauty & the Beast Look, I know the remake wasn’t anything crazy. But also I don’t honestly care too terribly much. Besides, this song was nice and it really gets me after that key change. We all want a royal doofus to be enamored enough with us to let us go for our own happiness but still know that their life will forever be changed because they met us. Animate that shit. Over and over.

goddamn this list is long lemme just stop this now byyyyeeeee

#long post #boop #music post #sorta

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starlightshoals · 5 years ago

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The Weeknd - After Hours [Album Review]

1 - Alone Again: Swimming in a deep red sea of yearning and heartache, this song is the perfect way to kick off the album. It plays like a mood, a feeling; it’s a confirmation that in the time since My Dear Melancholy, whatever hope was found, whatever lessons were learned, they’ve been lost in that ocean of new mistakes. The second half intensifies and darkens and leads the listener down the dark corridor the rest of the album will follow. Favorite Lyric: “Take off my disguise, I’m living someone else’s life, suppressing who I was inside...” 9/10, Excellent

2 - Too Late: So yeah, the production in this album is god-tier, and this track goes hard in that vein. I love the distortion on Abel’s voice in the chorus, the tempo, the vibe. There are so many segments and details that could fly over your head the first time -- this song is fucking layered. The more you listen, the more it slaps. Like every other track on the album, it’s about mistakes made that push the person you love away, but it’s not some whiny self-pity party, it’s a grim acknowledgment of how you feel and how it’s all your fault. Favorite Lyric: “When the darkness comes, you’re my light.” 10/10, Outstanding

3 - Hardest to Love: There’s a fragility to this track that’s rare in Abel’s music, and I admire that so much. It’s about admitting how difficult you’ve been and wondering why the person you love still wants you after all you’ve done. It strikes at that struggle inside where you want them to let you go because it’s best for them, but the reality of that makes you miserable and you don’t want them to forget you. I could say this about almost any track on the album, but I fucking love the 80s-style production here. Such glorious music for the soul. Favorite Lyric: “I can’t believe you want me, after all the heartbreaks, after all I’ve done, no I can’t believe you trust me, after all the rough days, you still call me up...” 9/10, Excellent

4 - Scared to Live: I gotta be honest, this song doesn’t do it for me like it does for most people. I still like it, and I love the lyrics, but stylistically it’s just a little too sappy for my tastes. I feel like this style (minus the fantastic production) is something I could hear a lot of other places, and that’s something I can’t say about most of Abel’s music. The lyrics, though! They send a lovely message of accepting your partner’s choice to leave you, gently telling them it’s okay to go on in life without you. It’s a truly gracious and grown-up thing to express. Favorite Lyric: “And if I held you back, at least I held you close” or maybe “You always miss the chance to fall for someone else, ‘cause your heart only knows me.” 8.5/10, Great

5 - Snowchild: Ooh yeah, here we go. In this song Abel reflects on his journey through the past decade. It’s a lowkey, moody, heart-in-your-throat track. It’s like walking through an empty city late at night, hands in your pockets, with an ache in your chest. It’s like leaving everything you had behind because it doesn’t matter anymore. You just want out. You just want something new. I can relate. Favorite Lyric: “She never need a man, she what a man need, so I keep falling for her daily...” 10/10, Outstanding

6 - Escape from LA: Maintaining the mood from Snowchild, this is a deep dark dive to the mind. It’s about being dead inside. It’s about being in love with someone you still have but will never have, you know what I mean? They’re in your life, but they’re not yours. And you have everything you could possibly ask for, but it’s still not enough. You’ve done everything you could possibly think of, but it doesn’t fill you up. You’re still running empty. It’s cold and it’s lonely and all that’s left is the voice inside, telling you it’s time to go. But you stay because you’re waiting. So you can be there if they come back. Favorite Lyric: “We’ll figure out our shit and find a way; when you say that you need space, I give you space.” 9.5/10, Amazing

7 - Heartless: I thought it was so funny when this song came out last year and everyone took it literally. This song isn’t about being some badass heartless jerk with no feelings, it’s about pretending to be that to cope with how broken you really are inside. It’s about embracing hedonism to hide the pain. The bridge really drives that home, where Abel sings about being lost and depressed and wondering why the fuck the person you’ve hurt and betrayed still cares enough to come back in your life. Despite all the boasting and bragging and the fast pace and tempo, this song is really the most miserable one on the album. Favorite Lyric: “I thought I lost you this time, you just came back in my life; you never gave up on me, I’ll never know what you see...” 9/10, Excellent

8 - Faith: God, I love this song. There’s something transcendent about it. It takes you to the sky and leaves you standing in a storm. The pace it takes, the production around it, the lightning-quick smooth transitions from piece to piece, it knows exactly what it’s doing and it revels in it. It also has the unenviable task of connecting the tracks before it and after it, and dear lord does it ever. There aren’t many songs these days that truly tell a story, but this one does. Beginning to end, it takes you on a journey. Favorite Lyric: “Well, I feel everything, when I’m coming down is the most I feel alone...” 10/10, Outstanding

9 - Blinding Lights: I love this song to death, too. The synths, the words, the faint touch of hope. It’s uplifting in a way nothing else on the album is -- it’s about driving fast as you can in the middle of the night just to get to the person you love, praying you’ll get there in time. Ever since it came out last year, it’s helped me through a lot. When I’m sad, it helps me up. When I’m happy, it makes me smile. It might be the most perfect pop song Abel’s ever made. Favorite Lyric: “When I’m like this, you’re the one I trust.” 10/10, Outstanding

10 - In Your Eyes: This one knocked me flat. I wasn’t expecting another retro pop banger on the album, but uh, here it is. This one means a lot to me personally. It reflects a lot of feelings I’ve had over the years. There’s an acceptance in it, a sense of letting go and moving on while still being real about what stays, what matters. And it has a sax solo. Yeah. Favorite Lyric: “In your eyes you lie, but I don’t let it define you.” 10/10, Outstanding

11 - Save Your Tears: There’s something so...peaceful about this song. It reminds me of my dad and some of the 80s music he played when I was a kid. It has that nostalgic feel to it, you know? It’s different for Abel and I like it. At first I wasn’t sure what to think of it, but the more I listen the more I like it. Favorite Lyric: “You could’ve asked me why I broke your heart, you could’ve told me that you fell apart, but you walked past me like I wasn’t there, and just pretended like you didn’t care.” 9/10, Excellent

12 - Repeat After Me (Interlude): The vibe, the mood, the feel. This song goes deep and stays there. Like Alone Again, it’s like dipping into dark water and swimming a while, floating on a memory. Looking at old photos you probably should’ve deleted. Reading old messages from someone you should’ve blocked. It hurts, but it heals. Favorite Lyric: “You don’t love him if you’re thinking of me, you’re just fucking, it means nothing to me.” 9.5/10, Amazing

13 - After Hours: This one took us all by surprise, didn’t it? A six-minute track with a beat switch and enough atmosphere to make your jaw hit the floor. When it dropped it tipped everyone off that this album was going to be special. The song itself is so fluid, so smooth, displaying everything Abel’s learned since he began. It’s a masterpiece that perfectly sums up every theme on the album and then some. Favorite Lyric: All of it, but especially the chorus and the bridge. 10/10, Outstanding

14 - Until I Bleed Out: If Snowchild is like walking an empty city at night, this song is like stumbling out an alley as dawn hits the streets, blood running down your side. Bathed in that red light, begging to be let go. It’s the fitting book-end to where this album started, closing the chapter with nowhere left to go. It doesn’t leave with easy answers, it doesn’t tell you everything is fine. But it acknowledges a change. Favorite Lyric: “Well I don’t wanna touch the sky no more, I just wanna feel the ground when I’m coming down...And I don’t even wanna get high no more, I just want it out of my life...” 9/10, Excellent

Final Rating for the Album: 9.5/10, Amazing

#the weeknd #after hours #review #alone again #too late #hardest to love #scared to live #snowchild #escape from la #heartless #faith #blinding lights #in your eyes #save your tears #repeat after me #until i bleed out #sorry for the length of this post~#but i had a lot to say

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tamcitrus · 5 years ago

Text

10 years later.

pairing: Bokuto Koutaro x g/n reader.

genre: angst, aged up characters

word count: 2K ~

prompt: It had been 10 years since your main character last saw their biggest crush. How they both ended up in the same city away from their hometowns makes no sense to them. How do they react and how does the story unfold?

a/n: first time using the prompt of the week! @kingkags I hope you're up for some angst 🌈 and @loneveenas I hope you like what I come up for your potw! 💕

It started with you coming back from abroad after getting your degree. You were outside your country for many years. After your parents' divorce and your break up with some foreign guy, you decided to come back home with your mom. You were in contact with your best friend in Tokyo and you meet her boyfriend, Hinata Shouyou.

"Come on, you have to come with me, you'll have fun and Shou has a lot of hot friends! Just for a while, if you're not vibing with it we can leave. You're sleeping here tonight anyways, so..." she said.

"Will there be alcohol?"

"Yeah, it's a party! They reserved a little restaurant, so it'll be just the team and their friends."

"Ok then we go," you agreed.

And later, you were happy you did.

You met Hinata as soon as you arrived.

"Order whatever you want, y/n! The drinks are on the team!" Hinata said and then he took his girlfriend away.

You walked to the bar and ordered a beer, watching everyone talk and dance. Hinata really had some handsome teammates. Maybe, with a bit of alcohol running through your system, you could talk to one of them.

"I'll take a beer, please 'Samu!" a man said by your side to a guy who seemed to be the bartender.

His voice was familiar. You looked aside to see the guy and gasped. This… couldn't be.

And then, the biggest golden eyes looked at you, and after a minute they showed recognition. And you remembered him too.

"Bokuto-kun?" you asked, just in case your memory betrayed you.

"Y/n? Oh my god, it's you!" he was as loud as you remembered him.

He was going to hug you but stopped to look at you and check if you were ok with it. You smiled at him and tied your arms around his neck. He hugged you tight from your waist.

"I can't believe you're here! How long it's been? Five years?"

"Like ten actually," you laughed. "I… do you play with Hinata?"

"Yeah! Do you know him?" he let you go.

"His girlfriend is my best friend, they invited me," you explained.

“That’s crazy! We live in a small world, right? Did you see the game?”

“No, sorry,” you laughed. “We just got here. But it’s great to see you’re a pro now, it really suits you.”

He guided you to an empty table and told you about how he became pro and how some of his teammates were his rivals back at high school. You told him about your years abroad, and how you decided to come back after a failed relationship.

“Are you living in our old neighborhood?” he said.

“No, we're here in the big city now.”

“Hey hey, Bokkun, we were looking for you! We'll play beer pong, are you in?" a blond guy interrupted your talk. "How about you? Wanna play...?"

"I'm y/n. And yes, I'd like to play," you smiled.

"He's Miya Atsumu. Tsumu this is y/n, an old friend!" Bokuto introduced you to his teammate.

He shook your hand and smiled at you. Then you followed him to the group that was playing.

A two hours and a lot of drinks later, you were drunk. Your friend found you again, sitting in a couch and laughing with Bokuto and Atsumu. She sat by your side to talk to you in the ear. Hinata was holding her hand, still standing.

"Hey, I'm gonna get going, I have something to do," she told you and you laughed.

You were too drunk to think straight and you slowly understood her words.

"Are you ditching me? Sakura?" you said, a bit louder than you intended.

"I can take you to her house later!" a smiling Bokuto offered and then he winked at Hinata.

"That's great, Shouyou will text you my address! Thanks, Bokuto-san! See you later, babe!"

And with a kiss on your cheek your friend left you there. You wanted to say something else but the alcohol in your system didn't allowed you to.

"You can crush in my place, if you want," Bokuto sit closer to you once Atsumu got up to talk to someone. "I don't think they'll end their thing soon, Hinata has a lot of stamina," he laughed.

You nodded and try to get up. Bokuto laughed when you almost trip with your own feet and grabbed your arm to keep you steady.

"Ok, maybe we can get going too, what do you think?"

"Are you sure? I don't want to bust your celebration," you pouted.

"I'm sure, yeah, I'm tired anyway. I'll text Hinata so your friend won't worry, ok? I'mma go say goodbye to the boys and be right back with you!"

He was still the same caring friend from ten years ago. It made your stomach to feel butterflies.

You sat on a chair near the door and you waited for him to come back. You texted Sakura, or at least you tried to, you'll check it in the morning. Bokuto was back in a few minutes and he guided you to his car. The trip was silent but you appreciated it. The cold wind of the night sober you up a bit.

"Thank you for inviting me, Bokuto," you said when you arrived. "You're probably the only person I trust in this city besides Sakura," you laughed.

"No problem. It was crazy to see you there today. Maybe we can finish our talk in the morning," he smiled.He signaled you to wait a minute and you sat on his couch.

He had a nice apartment, there was books everywhere and weights among other training stuff. You didn't remember he was a fan of books in the past.

Bokuto was back, changed, and offered you some clothes for you to change too.

"There's my bedroom, you have a bathroom inside and if you need anything else, I'll be in the couch."

"I can't come back after a decade and take your bed. I'll sleep in the couch."

"Y/n, you had too much alcohol to sleep in a tiny couch. You don't want your body aching with your head tomorrow, trust me," he laughed. "Please, use my bed."

"Ok but if you're uncomfortable, let me know," you said.

You really wanted to stay awake and keep talking to him, but your body thought otherwise. As soon as you got changed and hit the king size bed, you were out.

The next morning you woke up with a horrible headache and the smell of coffee dragging you to consciousness. Bokuto was humming to some pop song that was playing in a low volume.

"Good morning," you said after cleaning yourself up and walking outside the room.

"Hey, y/n, good morning! Do you have a headache? I don't have any medicine for it but I can drive you to your friend's place and we can get some in the way," he was turned with your back at you.

It was surreal. He was there, your childhood best friend, your biggest crush ever, the same you remembered him from many years ago: friendly, selfless, funny, the same black and grey wild hair. And somehow he was even more handsome now.

"I can take the bus there, don't worry about it. Do you need help?"

"All done!" he walked to the table with a tray with two coffees and cookies.

"We can go out next time and I'll pay, in return for last night," you said. "Well, if you want…"

"I have a few free days this week so I'll take your offer," he smiled.

The breakfast was for catching up, again. You felt you could talk to him about your years without seeing each other forever. He talked to you about high school after you left, volleyball and his pro career. And you exchanged numbers. Then, he drove you to Sakura's place. Hinata was still there so they left together.

"I can't believe you left me there last night," you said to your friend when you were alone.

"Hinata told me you and Bokuto knew each other, so I thought you'd be fine, I wasn't gonna leave you with some stranger!" she excused. "And you left with him! What happened?"

"Nothing happened, I was drunk…"

Bokuto texted you later that week and you met again on his free day for dinner.

"Life's pretty much the same but sometimes people recognizes me or stops me in the streets now, that's crazy," he laughed. "What about you?"

"Nothing that interesting. I got my business degree in England and I'm working at my mom's company for now, until I can use my degree here," you took a sip of your wine.

"And your failed relationship?"

"Oh, I thought he was a good guy but it turned out he wasn't," you faked a smile. "I wouldn't say I was in love but I cared about that idiot."

"That's a shame, you were a great person when you lived here and I bet you're even better now," he commented.

"Thanks, Bokuto," you blushed.

I shouldn't let my hopes up, you thought. Surely he has someone in his life after all this time. I shouldn't revive an old feeling.

"Shit, sorry, I have to get this," he said when his phone rang.

"No problem, I'll ask for the dessert while you talk," you smiled and he nodded at you.

You saw each other several times the next two weeks. Every talk, every text, every meeting you had reminded you why you were in love with him. Maybe you never really got over him. Maybe, deep inside, you still loved him.

"I'd say you go for it!" Sakura told you one day. "I never heard that he had a partner and, come on, how could you not brag if you were dating someone like him? We should've seen a picture or something."

"I don't think Hinata would be happy to hear you say that," you laughed and tried to avoid the topic.

"Come on, y/n. You're amazing and he seems to be interested to rebuild your friendship after a decade. Shoot your shot, my friend, don't let the opportunity vanish again."

You sighed and kept drinking with your friend. Maybe next time, you thought.

A week later, you were at Bokuto's place again, having "the afternoon english tea" as he said. You even got him some blends to try.

"You did this every day when you were abroad?" he asked.

"No, not always. I tried to keep my japanese traditions too," you smiled at him.

You watched a movie and shared silly comments in between. The sun was going down when it ended.

"Do you want to order a pizza?" he asked.

"Yeah, that'd be cool," you agreed.

This is it. Now or never.

"Can I talk to you about something? When you finish the call," you said and he nodded.

He grabbed his phone and walked to the fridge to get the number from his favorite pizza shop. Just before he dialed, the doorbell rang. He walked to the door and gasped after he opened it.

"Akaashi!" he sounded happy.

You leaned back to look at the door and saw something that maybe you shouldn't have seen. They were kissing. It was quick and innocent but it was a kiss. You looked at the tv again.

"Y/n is here!" Bokuto said and they were walking inside. "I told you about them, remember?"

"Yes and you texted me about them too," Akaashi softly laughed. He had luggage with him and he left it by the door.

"Y/n, he's Akaashi Keiji. Do you remember him? He was in first year, you met him before you left," Koutaro introduced you.

"Yes, I do, you were Bokuto's teammate! It's nice to see you, Akaashi-kun," you smiled.

"Nice to see you're back, y/n-san. Bokuto told me that you happened to meet at a party, that's a huge coincidence. It sounds like fate."

"I was about to order pizza, did you eat something?" Bokuto asked from the kitchen.

"No but pizza sounds good," he smiled. Then he disappeared inside Bokuto's room.

Fate. Yeah, it was laughing at your expense.

"He looks tired, maybe I should go," you said when you heard the shower.

"It's ok, you can stay!" Bokuto turned around to look at you. "Are you ok, y/n?" he saw your weird expression.

"I have to go, sorry," you grabbed your stuff and walked to the door.

He followed you outside after he told Akaashi he was going out for a second.

"What's wrong?" he asked again.

"I… I'm sorry. I didn't know…" you struggled to explain.

"Is this about Akaashi?"

"No- uhm, well, not exactly. It doesn't matter," you were standing at the entrance of his little house.

"I'm sorry. I should've told you…" he figured out by himself. "We don't… we can't make it super public, he's a writer and his agent…"

"No, it's fine, you don't have to explain. I never asked," you laughed. "Akaashi is a perfect fit for you."

"Yeah, he's… awesome. You're awesome too, I mean it," he hugged you.

"Thanks, Bokuto. And I'm happy for you."

You separated from him and smiled.

"Text me when you have a free day, I'll invite you both to eat," you kissed his cheek. "See you later."

You went to Sakura's apartment that night. After a bottle of wine, you were able to tell her what happened.

"His partner was on a trip. And then… they arrived with me there. And I was about to… I was gonna tell Bokuto maybe I never got over him… and then he was kissing someone…"

"I'm sorry, I was the one that told you to go for it," Sakura felt guilty.

"Nah, that's fine. I… it's been 10 fucking years, there's no way he wouldn't have someone. He's the perfect guy," you laughed.

"Ok, so... There's this guy. Shouyou's teammate…"

"I don't know if I'm interested…"

"Atsumu, that's his name. Shou told me he asked about you the other day, he wants your number."

"Well, tell Hinata that he can give Atsumu my number," you agreed.

"Just have some fun and you'll get over it. Besides, he's still your friend, right?"

"Yeah, he is."

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