#‘you heard of attack on titan?’
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willyoucometowakemeup · 4 months ago
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I believe the most important thing when talking irl about the things you love and find interesting is to say it with your whole chest, no matter how embarrassing you think it is.
You’re talking about your interests! You chose to share! Say it with your chest, it’s who you are!
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moonspirit · 2 months ago
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Armin is always very assertive and bold with Annie, whether it's about touching her or just telling how much he loves her with the intention to fluster her from head to toe and etc but then 3 seconds later he's blushing adorably, all mild panic and bashful expression and big silly grin of happiness and oh god what is Annie supposed to do with this huh? Just What?
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the-genius-az · 5 months ago
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Azula with Tuberculosis Au.
After Agni Kai, Azula locked herself in her room, not wanting to come out, and the only people who entered her room were Zuko and Katara.
She didn't know why, couldn't they just leave her alone? She lost everything, she has nothing to offer or give.
Azula was trying to sleep, after vomiting blood again, Katara said to call her when that happened, but she didn't have the strength to do it, besides, how could she? She couldn't even walk two steps without falling because she was so weak.
She stopped her thoughts when she heard footsteps stopping behind her door and sighed irritably, because she knew who it was.
Slowly Zuko opened the door, peeked his head in, and noticed that Azula was collapsed on her bed, something that was normal nowadays.
"I brought you your food," he murmured, as he entered Azula's room.
Azula didn't know exactly why her brother became nice to her, did he feel sorry for her? She doesn't believe it, Zuko is an idiot, even more so with Azula- the sick.
Zuko waited for Azula to sit on the bed so he could eat, but she didn't. He looked at her as he waited, but she still didn't move, he let out a sigh and put the food on the nightstand.
"Katara says... Katara says you could die," Zuko waited for a response, but it never came.
Minutes passed, until she turned around and looked at her brother.
"Do you think they would miss me if I died?" she asked, staring at him.
Zuko knew who she was talking about, he knew of the strange and complex relationship his sister had with her former friends.
"I...I really don't know, Azula," he let out a sigh and looked away from her. "They're mad at you...and me too."
Azula looked down and slowly sat up on her bed.
"With you?" she asked, in a soft whisper that he couldn't have heard if there were no sound in the room.
"They're furious that I betrayed them, and the Nation... also because I'm the fire lord and not you," he murmured, completely uncomfortable with telling her that.
"Mad at you...even Mai is?" she asked, wanting to know if Mai was still with Zuko.
Zuko clenched his fists unconsciously, but he answered her.
"Yes, she doesn't want to be with me again until you recover," they both knew that won't happen now because of Karara's new diagnosis.
She couldn't help but smile slightly and lowered her head, until Zuko interrupted her thoughts.
"Leave them some letters before you die," he offered, though they both knew that wasn't what he really meant.
"For what? What do you want me to tell them?" She scoffed, wishing he would say it directly.
Zuko let out a very upset sigh, he didn't want to look like an idiot in front of his dying sister, but she could never give him what he wanted.
"I want you to write to Mai so she can date me when you die," he ordered involuntarily, then regretted his words.
"Mai deserves someone to spend her life with," he tried as he looked at the ground, embarrassed by his own words but not wanting to stop.
Azula grabbed the sheets with her hands.
She didn't want to be selfish, but when both siblings were in the same room they both always let out their worst sides.
"I don't want that... I don't want Mai to be with you or anyone else! I don't want Ty Lee with anyone else either!" she yelled angrily at him, as tears fell down her cheeks.
"I want to be with them forever! Even after my death, I want them to love me for at least ten more years!" she cried intensely, finally breaking down.
Zuko looked at her perplexed, and slowly began to cry as well.
Everything was so intense for both of them, Azula was going to die and Zuko was going to lose someone else.
But there was something on both of their minds, and it was that they had never looked alike in their entire lives until now.
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cosmic-luka · 7 days ago
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currently working on an essay thats due in 4 days so i cant go too into detail but like . im in a geek club at school and they all like normal anime and i wanna connect and make friends but like. how do i do that when i like all the weird anime that they make fun of 😭
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afolksongs · 1 year ago
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mobolanz · 1 year ago
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BUT MY SWEET NOONIECOOKIEFLUFFYPOOKIEYIPPIEBBYMUNCHKINSWEETCAKELOVEYDOVEYHUNKYTEDDYBEARRRRR ;____; ;A;
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13eyond13 · 1 year ago
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#so far in my sporadic picking away at various manga series i feel i have the weirdest reader relationships with JJBA and Attack on Titan#when reading JJBA i am not really that invested in the characters or even whats happening to them and yet i still never decide to dnf it#and i dont even know what it is that keeps me reading except that its just very unique i suppose?#such an odd combo of different things that somehow manages to eventually have its own sorta cohesive logic and charm#also the art is just fun. its ornate and goofy and macho and flamboyant and gross#but as soon as i put it down i stop thinking about it too#and dont feel like picking it up again for at least several more days#with attack on titan i found the art style mostly really bad at first ngl#it reminded me of awkward drawings a high schooler would make like the inconsistentness#of like there are good action poses here but the people also look weird ugly bland and stiff and the backgrounds are often so empty#idk i was feeling pretty blah about it but something about how starkly straight-forward the story is was interesting to me#where its literally exactly what you heard its just#theres a bunch of humanoid giants attacking our city#and we have to stop them. that's it#and also the awkwardness of the art style i find works extremely well when it comes to the titans#like they are genuinely creepy to me. and they do actually feel massive the way theyre drawn. and the mystery around them interests me too#anyways im like 60% through part 1 of jojo(also read most of part 4 a few years ago) and only on vol 3 of AoT#but yeah those are the 2 series i have the most mixed feelings about so far#wouldnt say i love or hate either of them but still also continue to want to find out more#13readsmanga#p
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burnt-venus · 1 year ago
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JUST A FEW HOURS UNTIL THE FINAL TRAILER OF AOT
LIKE THE FINAL
EXCUSE ME WHILE I CRY
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crisperia · 2 months ago
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JAHASGSGSHAGAG I LOVE THIS SO MUCH OMG 🧡🖤😭💖🤣
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Alcohol…!
(rkgk, just for fun><)
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nyancrimew · 8 months ago
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Sorry, it was unfair of me to send that to you without proper context since you might not be aware of these issues. Irredeemable media refers to any thing with a creator or content  that is harmful and/or bigoted. Of course every piece of media has problems, but irredeemable media is when those problems cannot be ignored and are an indicator of someone's beliefs. 
For example, Harry Potter is irredeemable media because every one knows that JK Rowling is a transphobe, but some other piece of media like Twilight would not be considered irredeemable because even though Stephanie Meyer has done some bad things, they are not as widely talked about, so someone who posts about Twilight on here isn't completely likely to be a bigot, but a Harry Potter blogger would. Also, I know the "to be cringe is to be free" people like your blog, but a lot of the time, what is considered cringey on here is actually based on what is irredeemable. No progressive person or reputable blogger genuinely makes fun of My Little Pony fans any more, however plenty make fun of Hazbin Hotel fans and the such because that content is irredeemable and shows someone's beliefs. So usually, a piece of media being considered embarassing to like on here usually indicates that it is irredeemable.
As for why the other pieces of media are irredeemable, Hazbin Hotel is made by a woman who has many well-documented accusations of bigotry against her and has drawn zoophilia art, not to mention how her work leans into stereotypes about gay people (having a gay man character be a sex addict, a lesbian be named after the female body part Vagina, etc.) or at least that's what I've heard. Attack on Titan is created by a known fascist and many illusions are made to nazi imagery and nationalism in the anime. Captive Prince has a racist premise that sexualizes slavery and non-con. 
People can tell you that liking irredeemable media doesn't say something about who they are, but that's fundamentally false. If someone is uncaring enough to still post openly about these types of media, it's clear they don't care enough about not supporting bigotry. Yes, even if they don't give money to the creators, because they are still willingly exposing themselves to bigoted or harmful content and enjoying it.
The previous ask was not meant to be accusatory. Rather it was meant as a concerned question. Believe it or not, there are still some users on here who indulge in these pieces of content, a few of which hide behind the excuse of being part of a minority (Black, trans, whatever) or simply deny how bad their media consumption is to escape accountability. I wouldn't want you associating with those types of people and have that ruin your reliability on this website.
Hopefully this ask has educated you more on these issues and you'll be able to spot irredeemable media in the future and block it out.
incredible essay, you get a C for Creativity
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amywritesthings · 3 months ago
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dating on airplane mode. | part one.
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( Read on AO3 )
Pairing: levi ackerman x f!reader (attack on titan / shingeki no kyojin) Word Count: 3.9k Summary: So you're dating your neighbor who also happens to be a sex hotline dom named Levi Ackerman. Stranger things have happened, right?
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI - alternate universe (modern), slow burn, eventual smut, sex work, neighbors au, newly established relationship, dual pov, the direct sequel to Press Four For More Options Credits: dividers by @saradika-graphics submitted for @levievent 's #levimonth24 / day 22: neighbors
part two. | masterlist
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“I'm seeing someone.”
Tea goes flying — metaphorically and physically.
When he confessed a new (and very unexpected) development in his (borderline nonexistent) dating life, Levi hadn’t anticipated Hange Zoe turning directly towards Erwin Smith to unleash a devastating spit-take attack to the face.
It’s a direct hit.
Erwin heroically takes the brunt of the damage, so at least his furniture is spared.
(Levi didn’t need to spend the rest of the afternoon scrubbing down the already scrubbed-down living room.)
Hange’s shout is shrill, the realization hitting them like a full-throttle freight train.
“You’re what?”
“He said he’s seeing someone,” Erwin answers in monotone before Levi can even try. 
The tall blonde extends a hand to leisurely grab the napkin cradling the bottom of his tea saucer. In true Erwin fashion, he doesn’t even blink at Hange’s dramatics — or their consequences unto him.
He raises the napkin to blot the side of his face sprinkled with a mixture of freshly-brewed lavender tea and Hange’s saliva.
(Then again, Hange could abruptly bang pots and pans in the middle of the night and Erwin would merely call it a minor inconvenience to his sleep routine.)
“No, no, I heard what he said,” Hange recovers with a crack to their voice, “but I can’t tell if he’s messing with us.”
“I’m not,” Levi flatly states.
“Okay, but how do we know?”
“Hange—”
Except it’s Erwin intercepting once more. “Because he would never pretend to have a significant other when one of his closest friends happens to be you.”
Hange squints, pushing their glasses up the bridge of their nose.
“Why? ‘Cause I joked that I’d stalk him the next time he finally found a date? That was one time, Erwin.”
Erwin rolls his neck to the right, offering Hange a pair of thick, disbelieving eyebrows.
“Technically speaking, Zoe, you threatened to stalk either of us if you caught even a sniff that we could be in the midst of a romantic pursuit. Plus, we’re well aware of the disguise kit collecting dust in the trunk of Moblit’s car.”
An instant shit-eating grin passes across their lips.
“Ha. Fair.”
If Levi’s eyeballs could roll any further into the back of his skull, they’d get stuck.
“However,” Erwin adds, those bold blue eyes flickering back towards Levi, “it doesn’t explain why we were in the dark until now. At the very least, we should hope you would feel safe enough to confide in us about someone you are serious about dating.”
Yeah. 
Out of his two friends sitting across from him, Levi figured Erwin would be the most suspicious of the surprise announcement.
Now that it’s been a few days since That Fateful Night, he doesn’t feel as self-conscious to confess his new reality.
It was as good of a time as any to rip the proverbial band-aid off.
(Besides, it was only a matter of mistakes before his friends learned the truth for themselves.)
Hange, Erwin, Moblit — they’re his only remaining connections tying him to this city. The others from his gym days have all found offers in other towns, returned to their old homes—
Moved on.
Meeting Erwin Smith in boot camp changed the trajectory of his life, for better or worse. 
Levi had known the man longer than he knew anyone else — but only by a few days and some change, considering he was destined (Hange’s words, not his) to meet the hyper scientist and their subdued partner, Moblit, in the army as well.
Then, as if attached to the hip, all four of them agreed to work at Erwin’s gym.
When that fell through, Erwin found the Scout Services Hotline.
.
.
— —
.
.
    The announcement came to him one summer evening with a printed job description and a six pack of beer.
Levi assumed Erwin’s confession on taking a sex hotline job had been one weird, shitty joke.
Picturing stoic, pragmatic Erwin Smith telling people how to fuck themselves in their bedrooms late at night for the almighty dollar felt obscene. 
Hell, it was obscene.
Levi didn’t want to consider his oldest friend in such a compromising position, but there it was laid before him without shame or fear of judgment.
Becoming a part-time sex worker for Erwin was as noncommittal as taking up a fleeting niche interest — like exotic bird watching or crocheting sweaters for fucking cats.
“At the gym, we improved upon people’s lives,” Erwin had told him while sipping his beer, staring out to the city sightline from Levi’s balcony. “Who has the authority to say this job isn’t doing something similar to those who may be lonely?”
“You would make yapping on a damn sex hotline prophetic,” Levi scoffed in return. “Selling some shitty porn script a dozen times a night sounds like the closest you could get to Hell.”
“I disagree,” Erwin argued without heat. “When I interviewed, they stated every employee is given the ability to do as they please. To show their strengths and make it their own.”
“Bullshit.”
“It isn’t.” 
Erwin rested the beer bottle on the knee of his trousers. 
“Flexible work hours give me the ability to find another place the gym can call home. The pay would certainly cover any initial costs after several years.”
“Several years?”
Levi frowned, sitting up straighter in his chair.
“Erwin… c’mon. Just take a second to listen to yourself.”
“I’m only offering a chance for you to do the same. You may not be fond of people, Levi, but you’re loyal to a stubborn fault.”
Erwin gave him a sidelong glance.
“I know you won’t put in applications to go to any other gym.”
“Tch.”
A dismissive sound was all he could muster at the time.
He always hated how Erwin could open the cavity of his chest and put his damn bleeding heart on display.
“Who says I haven’t been window shopping to pass the damn unemployment time?”
“I wish you would,” Erwin replied with a heavy sigh. “Your skills are better when in use, not lying waste with the rest of us.”
“Hange and Moblit’re doing just fine.”
Hange, a self-proclaimed babbler, returned to Paradis University to make headway on some fascinating research projects side by side with Moblit. 
It was where they belonged, really.
“Fine, then lying waste with me.”
After a beat, Erwin slid his hand across the space between their chairs and held out a slip of paper.
"Look it over. Really sit down and think about what you did for our fighters and see where I’m coming from. You have a knack for leading. Of making people believe in themselves at their lowest."
He made it a point to stop. Stare.
Levi bit his tongue, meeting his friend's stern gaze.
"Conventional or not, you would still be helping people. Even if it’s a job for a month, at least you’ll be putting a hell of a lot of money in your pocket. It's better than waiting for my signal to move on.”
.
.
— —
.
.
    The bastard was always great at a rousing speech.
That night was the night Levi plugged in the damn website and read the job description.
By morning, he had submitted his application for a part-time hotline employee that included an .mp3 file auditioning his voice.
Erwin must have told his boss that he had a life-long friend possibly interested in the position, because by that night?
Levi Ackerman had a job.
A night turned into a month.
A month turned into six. 
Six to a year.
Suddenly denying begging, pleading people from their chased orgasms became as second nature as completing an Excel sheet.
Yet nothing else changed.
Levi still kept to himself.
Considering the friend group worked odd hours — Erwin with his own clientele, Moblit working towards his Masters, and Hange testing the scientific project of the week at the same university when unsupervised — it was easy to.
Wake up. Work out. Eat. Run errands. Clock in for work. Clock out. Eat. Sleep. 
Repeat.
Routine.
Hell, a lot of his life worked like a well-oiled machine until you showed up.
Now his world is slightly spinning off-axis, and he knows:
Without talking to his friends about his (uncharacteristically selfish and) impulsive decision, everything could very well go up in flames.
(Because when it comes to sticking matters of the heart and Levi Ackerman in one room, the former never walks out.)
After a pregnant pause in this three-way stand-off, Hange leans in, pressing both hands onto the tops of their thighs. 
“So when you say you’re seeing someone, you mean like… romantically?”
“As opposed to what?” Levi flatly asks.
“Well, seeing someone could mean anything, especially for you,” Hange reasons. Levi’s eyes narrow when Erwin gives that short huff of air through his nose like he’s stifling a laugh. “You could be seeing someone about finally fixing your dryer.”
“Seriously?”
“I’m just saying, romantically isn’t the first idea that comes to mind!”
“I have to agree with Zoe,” Erwin finally states, shifting his blue eyes to Levi’s. “You never mentioned that you had met someone in our group chat, and you haven’t made any changes in your schedule that suggest otherwise.”
Levi can’t help but scoff.
“Oh, so now you’re following Hange’s goddamn Google calendar?”
That fucking calendar.
The ‘we’re so busy but we can’t lose touch just because the gym went under’ calendar hastily made at two in the morning and sent with a declaration of war if no one accepted the invite.
All four of them did.
(Then again, Moblit didn’t have much of a choice.)
“I check on occasion,” is Erwin’s short rebuttal, before sitting up straighter. “But the former argument stands: you didn’t tell us that you were dabbling in the dating scene.”
“Wouldn’t really call it dabbling, Erwin,” Levi huffs, picking up his tea cup by clawing the rim of the ceramic. “Shit just kind of happened.”
“Uh-uh,” Hange interrupts. “We’re not playing coy right now, Levi. I want details: name, height—”
“Occupation,” Erwin agrees.
“Where they’re from.”
“If they have siblings.”
“Do they live near here?”
“If they’re allergic to cats.”
An involuntary grimace passes over Levi’s face.
“Ooh! We also need to know if they like tennis,” Hange adds excitedly. “Don’t trust someone who likes tennis, spectator or player. They’re always too put together with an underlying layer of batshit crazy.”
Erwin halts mid-sip of his tea. 
“...I like tennis.”
Hange’s thumb and middle finger sharply snap. “Exactly.”
Enough.
Levi hastily pushes his black fringe out of his eyes with his free hand. “I— No, Jesus, can we stop speculating about her?”
“Why?” Erwin challenges.
“Because I told you what you needed to know,” Levi challenges without tripping over his words. “And I’d prefer to keep the rest of myself.”
“Ah, her.”
When he turns his attention to Hange, there’s a wicked glimmer in their eye.
Well, fuck him.
Too much has already been said.
Hange whistles low. 
“So how recently was this fair maiden introduced into thy friend’s life?”
“Don’t start talking like a freak, Four Eyes,” he warns them while they suppress a cackle between pressed lips. “And — fuck, fine. If no one is going to let it go—”
“We aren’t.”'
Erwin interrupts, making it two against one.
With a set glare at his blonde friend, the smaller man sinks further into his chair and sighs with reluctant resolve. 
“I… met her a few days ago. It...”
Trailing off, he sets his tea cup down to rub at his temples with one hand.
This is going to bring on a headache. 
He really doesn’t need it on a work night.
“You’re both going to have an opinion on the how, and trust me, so do I.”
Hange’s face screws up in confusion, but he sees it out of the corner of his eye.
Erwin grows still. Contemplative.
Yeah, he knew this was going to go terribly.
“Huh?” Hange whips their ponytail back and forth to look between both men, smacking themself on the sides of their face. “Why wouldn’t we approve of how? Is it one of the old fighters?”
Levi scoffs, dropping to sit back in his chair. “I’d rather choke.”
“Then I’m not following. You don’t even talk to cashiers at the grocery store.”
“When did she call the hotline?” Erwin asks, cutting straight through the bush instead of beating around it.
His stare is almost indiscernible. Stern.
(Protective.)
The lightbulb clicks. Hange finally settles their attention on him. 
“Whoa — wait, she’s a…”
“Former client,” Levi confesses after Hange trails off. “Emphasis on the former part.”
The room grows silent.
Levi doesn’t have the capacity to see Hange’s true reaction, because he’s keeping eye contact with Erwin.
Their own telepathic argument bounces back and forth like that very proverbial tennis ball Hange had so teasingly laid down.
The ethics of it all;
The logistics of what it could mean for the future;
The gravity of this choice and knowing its weight is crushing him.
Erwin’s gaze softens a fraction.
Levi’s shoulders relax, if only a little.
“And how did that opportunity come to pass?” the taller blonde finally asks, but it isn’t as harsh as Levi anticipated. 
Hell, it’s curious.
Willing — to not judge; to hear him out.
“Accidentally stumbled into her at the bar down the street,” Levi confesses.
Stumbled is an understatement.
.
.
— —
.
.
    “So then — what does this mean?”
He doesn’t know.
God, he has no fucking clue.
Just like he had no fucking clue you’d be at this bar tonight; that you not only lived in the area, but in the same goddamn building just a few floors south.
You were meant to be a fluke thing.
A moment of weakness.
An anomaly he could solve like every other problem in his life, one he could reason to death and move on from once you realized that this hotline is a slippery slope to financial debt.
At the end of the day, it wasn’t meant to be real.
The calls, the laughter, the exchange of stories felt real, but that’s the selling point.
Imagining idealism.
He could send as many discounted invoices as he could to management to ease the cost of your calls, but there was only so much he could do from his position.
Still—
That being said, he wanted this.
For the first time in a long time, he wanted something.
Ever since Erwin’s gym went under and the staff were forced to find something else in the interim, Levi Ackerman turned off his emotions. His passion.
Money was tight. 
Bills were bills. 
But there are worse things to do than apply to a remote-working sex hotline with the promise of flexible hours, medical insurance, and the opportunity to get away from people for a while.
Maybe he hadn’t realized he was simply going through the motions of buying a morning tea at the coffee shop down the street. 
Maybe he hadn’t noticed that his drive to push himself to the brink of exhaustion at the gym all but disappeared.
Maybe he existed to simply exist.
Then you called.
Petra had pinged him to let him know that there was someone looking for a deep voice — not surprising — with a tendency to overtalk and overthink.
Easy.
Those types always cave the second you call them a pet name or sprinkle a little praise.
Yet you burst into his life like a damn firework to the face and he’s never recovered since.
Being nervous is a staple on these calls. He’s heard every justification in the book just as he’s witnessed people use the hotline like they’re robots.
You wanted to talk.
Petra doesn’t send people to him if they want to talk.
(Did she know, somehow, that he needed this?)
Conspiracies aside, the last two weeks became some of the best of his life.
Now you knew his face, and he knew yours.
And Christ, you were beautiful. 
Your voice was one thing — like a soothing balm to his insomnia — but your face nearly took him right the hell out.
Even in the mirror backsplash of the bar, he couldn’t stop staring. Didn’t want to, not when he finally saw what he wanted right in the palm of his hand.
So he was honest.
Honest about his life, his job, his black hole of an existence — maybe to scare you away so you’d choose better than a guy like him.
That he was the first to break the rules.
That he was sorry, because you weren’t looking for more baggage after a shit breakup with a shithead of a guy.
You didn’t care.
So he decided to rip a page out of his goddamn advice book:
Be selfish.
“Well, if you don’t get too wasted with your friends tonight—”
Autopilot.
Everything is on autopilot when he picks up that damn pen and starts to scribble on a napkin, allowing his nervous system to suckerpunch his logic right out the damn window.
“—and you end up going to the gym tomorrow—”
Bail.
Bail, bail, bail, before you make a damn fool of yourself, Levi Ackerman.
He doesn’t.
He straightens his spine, folds the napkin, and reaches for your hand. 
The heat of it almost makes his stomach clench.
If he were bolder, then maybe he’d steal you away from your friends. Keep asking questions to make you talk more. Watch as your eyes light up about your favorite things—
He can’t. Won’t.
You’re with your friends. He’s already taken enough time away from them for you.
“—give me a call.”
Maybe he’s chickenshit for running, but at least there’s a part of him brave enough to leave him his personal cell number in the palm of your hand.
Before you can say anything, he drops some money on the counter to pay for both drinks and a tip and leaves to walk home.
To contemplate.
(Assuming you likely won’t call. He wouldn’t blame you.)
The night air leaves a sobering sting on his cheeks as he steps outside.
It’s considerably quieter than the cramped space of the bar, but cabs bustle in the street.
His pocket vibrates not once but twice.
(So not a text.)
Fishing his phone out, Levi squints at the ‘Unknown Caller’ ID staring up at him.
He swipes right to accept said call, pressing the phone to his ear.
“Hello, Levi Ackerman speaking.”
“Hi, Levi. It’s formerly Scarlet.”
His heart falls out of his ass.
Whipping back around to the tinted windows of the bar, Levi can’t help but look for that now-familiar face.
You’re blocked by an endless sea of conversations and bodies, but he still searches.
“My schedule just opened up,” you tell him from the other side of the line, your voice airy like you hold a secret. “I know it’s a little late for some coffee, but — are you free for some tea now?”
Shit.
Maybe he should be giving the headset for the hotline over to you.
“Depends,” Levi exhales. “Any shop worth a damn is closed at this hour.”
“Shit, you’re right.”
He liked it when you cursed. 
Hell, he liked it when you weren’t afraid to be yourself around him the most.
“There’s a pop-up shop about six floors above yours,” Levi reasons with a shrug he assumes you can’t see; autopilot, “if you don’t mind walking a neighbor home.”
.
.
— —
.
.
    “You said that?”
Hange, now at the brink of teetering off of their chair, gawks.
Levi blinks twice, realizing he’s given more of the story than he wanted to.
That they know it’s serious — dead fucking serious for him, actually — and that you’re his neighbor.
Yeah, he didn’t believe it either until you said yes.
“What?” Levi asks. “Something wrong?”
“No, that was just fucking smooth, dude,” Hange whistles low, impressed. “Pop-a-button-and-open-a-window kinda smooth. Holy shit.” They thumb towards Erwin. “You teach him to talk like that!?”
“Self-taught, I’m afraid,” Erwin hums. “Can’t take the credit.”
Hange flops back into their chair unceremoniously. “Jeeeez.”
“Six floors down, then?”
There’s a rare tint of pride in Erwin’s tone, like there’s a joke somewhere in that question he isn’t saying. 
Levi immediately narrows his eyes.
“Yeah. She’s been my fuckin’ neighbor all this time, if you can believe that.”
He sure as hell can’t. The fact that you’re six floors away — have been — has kept him up at night.
He could run down there right now and show you off to his friends.
He could leave you home-cooked meals if you’re running behind at your office job.
He could do a lot of things, but—
“Is she requesting you to end your time at Scout Services?” Erwin asks, interrupting his trailing thoughts.
Levi’s stormy eyes meet a contemplative, oceanic stare.
“...no.”
A beat passes.
Despite his trepidation, he explains himself.
“She’s not asking me to quit it. Says she gets it, a job’s a job, but I don’t know how true that’ll be in the long run.”
“And you believe her?”
He knows Erwin’s skepticism isn’t unfounded, but it sets a fire in his belly.
Questioning you, the newfound gravity keeping him grounded on planet earth.
(You're just a stranger to him, too, at the end of the day, but you don't feel like one. Not really.)
“I can’t expect anyone to stay neutral about what the fuck it is we do, Erwin," he reasons diplomatically. "I can say everything on my mind and put it on paper, but I’m sure the doubt will still creep in. Everything’s too new to tell. It won’t be easy, but it…”
He sighs, running his hand once more through his straight-and-narrow black hair. 
“I just need you two dumbasses to keep me in check. I can’t—”
Hange frowns, and he hates the sympathetic tone they take when they say his name. 
“Levi—”
“Four Eyes,” Levi interrupts stronger yet weaker in resolve, effectively shutting down their protest, “I can’t fuck this up. So don’t let me.”
The air grows thick, like winding vines corrupting the foundation of a tree.
Levi glances between the two of them, nostrils flaring with unspoken difficulty.
Erwin is the first to nod. Wordlessly, but he does.
Hange sighs with conclusion not a second after and nods, too.
“Am I at least allowed to ask one thing?” they chirp, holding out one slender finger to the sky. “Just one teeny, tiny thing — yes or no.”
A part of him really wants to say no.
A part of him really wants to say this conversation is over before he gives them anymore concrete information about you as he navigates these uncharted waters of being a not-so-normal boyfriend to a very-normal-ass person.
He fights.
Fails.
“...fine,” he grumbles. “The fuck’s the question?”
Hange perks up, all too smug.
“Did the pop-up shop six floors up line work?”
The memory blossoms in the back of his skull.
His body warms as if trapped under an electric blanket, heat setting cranked a little too high. 
Instinctively his eyes flicker to the front door of his apartment.
Like you’ll burst in at any moment with your work bags and stress and the hope that he’ll have the same soothing balm you’ve gifted him, hands at the ready to fix your problems for you.
He hasn’t wanted much.
He’s never wanted much, but—
Shit, if he doesn’t want to be good to you.
“...something like that.”
.
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Author's Note:
AHHHH HI EVERYONE! WE'RE AT IT AGAIN WITH MODERN!LEVI SHENANIGANS! How are we feeling to be back?
I seriously cannot believe we're here. I've never done a sequel before, but the demand was overwhelming and I couldn't help but agree: we could do with learning what happens after the final call.
And we will, in this seven (maybe more?) part series. I had to actually break up part one because it got way too large of a chapter, so I promise we'll be picking up right where we left off in P4 -- like, quite literally That Fateful Night in part two.
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the hardest part abt writing SNK fic is that every character is more interesting than all the other characters
#x#like objectively speaking#Historia is more interesting than Falco#AND Falco is more interesting than Historia#and Annie and Levi are each more interesting than the other#SNK#in one sense EMA is like whatever but in another very real sense they are like Everything You’ve Ever Been Or Will Be#it’s because he’s blended high concepts with universal experiences#(I don’t mean universal as in ‘every person experiences this’ I mean it as in ‘every kind of human has heard this story’)#that’s what makes a character Interesting™ isn’t it#and that’s how he conveys message too. he takes a high concept so far removed from reality that nobody reading could say#‘I’ve experienced this’#and you climb down the ladder until you get to the ground and find humanity#it’s like comedy that unites a polarized audience with a mutually enjoyed absurdity#this is why I get frustrated when people say SNK is about war.#yes it *concerns* war but war is just one part of the exposition of the story he’s been telling since chapter 1.#yes he’s talking about the consequences of isolationism but he’s ALSO talking about the consequences of globalism#the simple fact of the matter is#you’re trying too hard to pigeon-hole the themes into your bite-sized first-world Western understanding#if he wanted you to do that he would’ve introduced Marley from the start instead of at the end#attack on titan is not about war it’s about What is mankind and what are we doing here and why are we doing it like this?#the man’s read Paradise Lost for crying out loud and you should know my phone autocorrected that to Paradis Lost#mobile#analysis#and Fullmetal Alchemist does this too btw. ppl loooovw to say Fullmetal Alchemist is about war. again it *concerns* war#but war is NOT what it’s about#war is a vehicle to show what it’s about#anyways I’m going to bed ​don’t y’all dare tell anyone i know that i’m writing anime fan fiction i will slay you where you stand
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talesofesther · 1 year ago
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make it taste like love
Loki x Reader
Summary: You felt him before you even met him. And despite the pain he carried around, his soul was one of the most beautiful you'd ever seen.
A/N: A spur-of-the-moment idea that I simply couldn't ignore. I really hope you guys enjoy it, and yes I'm working on part two of my series with Loki as well. <3
Word count: 6k
Masterlist
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The battle had left its mark on everyone, both physically and mentally. All the lives that were lost wouldn't be brought back. But everyone took solace in the fact that Thanos and his army were no longer a threat. And now, it was a time for rebuilding.
Wakanda's grassland was a battlefield. Bodies of both friend and foe lay scattered on the ground. The mourning loomed heavy in the air, you could feel it weighing down on your chest, your throat, and lungs. It was suffocating, prickling into your skin like needles. Yet you still walked, your boots crushing the grass underneath while you avoided stepping on stretched arms and legs, you needed to make sure no one else remained left behind.
A few feet away, the mad titan who once threatened the entire universe lay lifeless on the ground, his head disconnected from his body. For him, you felt no pity.
King T'Challa was both happy and sad to see you and the others leave. Happy, because it meant the end of a war; sad, because of having to say farewell to dear friends. But you, Steve, Natasha, and Banner were needed back in town, back at the Avengers compound; to welcome Tony back on earth, and because Thanos' attack had reverberated in many other places. It seemed like the Avengers were back in the game.
─── ·❆· ───
This morning was a gloomy one. Grey skies peeked behind your curtains in the early hours of the day, maybe it would rain soon. It's been two weeks since the battle, and you were glad to see that most people were recovering; each in their own way, but recovering nonetheless.
You were already up when the clock hit 7:30 AM, holding a warm cup of coffee between your hands, and staring out into the compound's driveway and past the treeline through the big windows of the kitchen. Today would be the day that Thor came back, he'd been helping with the settling of his people in New Asgard until now, but you've heard about him not wanting to be king anymore. You were happy for him, you never did think that a ruler's life suited him anyway—and you missed your friend.
"He gets one chance, Rogers. One chance and that's it." Tony's voice suddenly caught your attention as he stepped into the kitchen, you turned your back to the window so you could watch as your resident Iron Man poured himself a cup of coffee without looking at his mug. Steve was right beside him, his hands on his hips as he sighed quietly, already all too used to Tony's moods.
"Yes, one chance, he proved himself enough by helping us fight against Thanos, I suppose we owe him the benefit of the doubt," Steve agreed, still holding his voice calm.
With a smirk on your lips, you approached your teammates. "What's going on, guys?" You leaned on the kitchen island, taking a sip of your coffee.
Tony ran his tongue over his bottom lip, his expression less than pleased as he took a sip of his own coffee before saying; "point break is bringing his beloved brother to our home." He shrugged, and said in a quieter tone, "Says he changed or something."
"Loki will be staying with us?" You raised an eyebrow. The attack on New York happened before you joined the team, but you were familiar enough with it to be wary of Thor's brother, even if Thor did speak more nicely of him recently. Still, you had never actually met Loki to form your own opinion.
"That's… to be decided," Tony grumbled, shooting a glance toward Steve. "But yes, pretty much. And, by the way, Strange wasn't happy about having reindeer games back in the city either."
"Wow, you guys finally agree on something," you snickered.
Tony mouthed a 'don't' to you, before Steve said; "Strange knows we'll handle it if anything happens, but Thor vouches for him, so…"
You gave Steve a soft smile, and as much as you understood Tony's wariness, you agreed with the Captain. Loki didn't have the best of pasts with the City, but his help in the recent battle was one of many game-changers. He deserved a second chance.
Strangely enough, you found yourself excited to meet the God of Mischief. It was in your nature to analyze people, watch them from afar, and learn about the things they'd rather not say out loud. And someone like Loki, who had both once tried to take over your planet and now helped in saving it, was bound to raise some curiosity.
No more than an hour passed before you heard Thor's strong voice all the way from the living room. A small smile instantly came to your lips as you discarded your book, got up from the couch, and put on your slippers, rushing to the main doors to greet him.
Before you could turn the last corner, however, you came to an abrupt halt. Your breath got caught up in your throat and you had to lean back on the wall for support. Clutching the fabric of your shirt right above your heart, you were glad that this particular hallway was currently empty.
You could hear Thor's voice just around the corner, Tony was there too, but their words were faint and far away. Your vision was suddenly a little blurry, and underneath your palm you could feel your heart beating frantically.
See, this was nothing that hadn't happened before, after all, you are an empath. But a feeling this heavy rarely comes unannounced, unwanted. It briefly reminded you of when you first discovered your power, when you had no control and could pick up on pain, anger, joy, and pleasure that were not your own even if you didn't want to. Yet now, after years of living with it, you had learned to dose your perception of the feelings around you; now, when you weren't willingly focusing, other people's emotions felt more like a gentle whisper, a gush of chilly wind on your skin—something you were able to ignore if you wanted to.
But this overwhelming sadness; this emptiness, and loss, and pain; it came to you with such force that you were not able to block out. Seconds felt like hours, until the surprise of the new feeling passed and you took back control. Whispers of it remained, lurking in your stomach and in the back of your throat, but with a bit of extra focus, you were able to handle it.
And once your mind was finally clear again, it hit you. Who did you catch these feelings from?
You took a step around the corner cautiously, hands buried in your pockets as your eyes roamed your surroundings. There was no one around besides Tony, Thor, and Loki.
You knew it right away. You were familiar with the emotions radiating from Tony and Thor; but him, the raven-haired trickster, he was new, and if you didn't feel empathy for him before, you did now.
Loki held himself immaculately, a straight posture and a serene expression on his face. You had no idea how he did it, how he was able to hold all of those feelings in and still look so well put together; because one glance into his soul and you already felt like crying.
There was a light drizzle falling outside, maybe that's why Loki's black blazer seemed to be shining under the bright lights of the entrance hall. His eyes—bright and ocean-green—were settled on you; the realization got you feeling hyperaware of each movement you made. Even his gaze was heavy.
Thor's booming voice calling your name captured your attention then, he had a big smile on his face and before you knew it he already had your feet off the floor as he held you in a hug.
You laughed against his shoulder, hugging him back just as tight and telling him all about how much you missed him. Still, when you let go, your eyes found Loki's again, he hadn't stopped looking at you once.
─── ·❆· ───
The opinions about Loki's presence in the compound were mixed, but most of your teammates seemed fine with it; truth be told, no one paid much attention to him. As you'd expected, Loki's room was on your floor, because that's where Thor stayed too; as well as Tony, Natasha, and Yelena.
It's been a few days since his arrival, yet you haven't had the opportunity to properly speak with him, alone. But you've been feeling him a lot. Whether it was you subconsciously focusing on him more, or something else, it seemed like your body was more in tune and connected with his than you've ever been with anyone else. You picked up on a few of his emotions even if you weren't actively trying to; you felt his bouts of uneasiness when someone would stare at him for too long, you felt his gentle serenity whenever he'd sit near the windows to read a book, you felt his sparks of joy when people greeted him with a good morning or asked if he'd want coffee; but most of all, you still felt that lingering sadness that followed him everywhere he went, a weight he seemed to be all too used to having around.
In some ways, you felt as if you were invading his privacy, and that bothered you. During the day you tried to keep your mind as busy as you could to keep yourself from feeling him; in the late hours of the night though, when you were trying to sleep, there wasn't much you could do.
You have been tossing and turning in bed for probably about two hours now, drifting in and out of sleep. The crescent moon just outside your window seemed to be taunting you, amused with your misfortune. You scoffed as you glared at the natural satellite—great, now you were arguing with the cosmos.
Loki was having a nightmare. You could tell by the rapid beating of his heart and the cold sweat running down his forehead—your abilities went way beyond simply feeling other people's emotions, but sometimes you wished they wouldn't. It's not the first time that you've felt Loki's restless sleep in the short time he's been here. Your heart ached for him; it got you wanting to alleviate his pain.
But you couldn't do that, so you got up from your bed, put on your fluffy slippers, and made a beeline for the kitchen. The air outside was chilly, biting at your warm skin and making you shiver. At this hour of the night, the compound was completely dark and quiet, a big contrast to how it was when the sun was up. You asked Friday to turn on one of the lights in the kitchen, giving the space a dim-lit look as the single light bled into the adjacent living room.
You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, humming the lyrics of the song stuck in your head as you reached for the upper cabinet to grab a mug so you could make yourself some tea. When you turned around again though, a gasp escaped your mouth and you nearly dropped the mug you were holding. You cursed quietly under your breath, placing a hand over your heart; if you weren't fully awake before, you sure were now. "You scared me," you muttered, trying a small smile.
The reason for your lack of sleep stood before you, with dark green slippers that matched his button-up pajama shirt, and his hair the messier you've ever seen it be. "Sorry, it was not my intention," Loki smirked back at you.
It hit you that this was finally the first time you were alone with him, and you'd been caught off guard. You tapped your mug, opening your lips but no words came out. Loki's eyes remained on you, unwavering, yet his gaze was so… soft, gentle even; his eyebrows weren't creased and he patiently waited for you with his hands in the pockets of his checkered pajama pants. He didn't look like the god you usually saw roaming the halls during the day.
"It's alright. I was just making tea," you said finally, gesturing to your mug, "would you like me to make one for you too?"
Loki's surprise at your offer was so great that you felt it in your bones. What was he expecting you to do?
His lips parted only slightly and he straightened his posture before saying; "I would- yes, I would like that."
You couldn't help the full smile that came to your lips and crinkled the side of your eyes, "great, sit down, it'll be ready in just a moment."
The warm mug between your hands warmed up your skin. It felt nice, sitting like this with Loki; in a quiet kitchen with only you and him, and just the lonely light to your left softly highlighting his features in front of you. It was a peaceful silence, and you couldn't help but check if he felt it too.
The rhythm of his heart was calm, his soul felt light and at ease; not completely, but the most you've ever felt from him.
"Why are you here?" His sultry voice snapped you back to reality.
"Uh- I'm sorry?" You frowned.
"Why are you here, if I may ask?" Loki tilted his head amusedly, his fingers tracing the brim of his mug. "Thor mentioned you had… abilities, but he never specified what they are."
Now it was your turn to be surprised by his curiosity for you. "Well, to put it simply, I'm an empath," you told him.
Loki blinked, once, twice, at your response. He looked at you for a moment before inquiring further; "and to put it completely?"
You smirked then, folding your arms over the table. "I can feel people's emotions, if I want to; their anger, happiness, hesitation, fear. But I can also feel their heartbeats, the blood cursing through their bodies. I can tell when they're lying or telling the truth, if they're tired or hurt. And sometimes, I can influence those emotions," you paused, hesitating for a beat, "bring fear, or… take away pain."
Loki grew tense after learning of what you could do. To be fair, most people did at first, you were used to it. Be he felt different, his heartbeat sped up and stayed that way. He'd put his guard up, and it brought a pang of hurt to your chest.
"Are you always feeling everything then?" He narrowed his eyes.
"Gods, no," you breathed, "at first I did, and it was awful. But with time, I learned to control it." You tried smiling at him, but his eyes were downcast, focused on his mug.
You bit your lower lip in nervousness. Looking past Loki and out the window, you could see the first signs of the sunrise peeking over the horizon, dark skies turning a soft lilac and blue; you'd been here longer than you realized.
When Loki glanced up at you again, his bright eyes still held sparks of that same softness from earlier. He pursed his lips in a smile; "thank you for the tea." And with that, he got up and left, leaving you in the company of the first birds who always sang in the mornings.
─── ·❆· ───
You made Loki nervous. It wasn't a bad kind of nervous, it was the kind that sped up his heart and made his cold hands feel clammy.
Out of everyone in the compound, you were the kindest. You'd always shoot him a smile whenever you'd pass by each other in the hallways; you'd always save a seat for him at the table; you always respected his silence whenever you came into the library and caught him reading his book, saying a quiet hello and nothing more, just sitting on one of the armchairs with your own book and allowing him to enjoy his moment, and more recently, your presence too.
When he'd finally learned of your abilities, he got apprehensive, worried even; that you'd pick up on whatever it was that he felt when he was near you, and it would drive you away.
So far, it hasn't happened yet.
The sun was out today, and with it, so was everyone else. In the spacious backyard of the compound, Steve was in charge of the barbecue, and Tony was in charge of the drinks. Natasha had sunglasses covering her eyes while she and Clint bickered over a game of cards; Yelena was sitting beside her sister at the lunch table, however, she seemed to be on Clint's side of the argument. Thor and Banner were laughing together as they made fun of Steve's cooking skills, who tried to defend himself by saying he wasn't actually done yet. Tony looked like he was trying to convince Bucky to drink a dubious-looking beverage, the latter didn't seem too keen on it.
And Loki watched them from afar, from the living room window of his floor. Thor had asked that he join them downstairs, saying something about how he should start trying to fit in and mingle, instead of just existing in the others' presence. Making friends wasn't Loki's forte; as much as he'd fight not to admit it, he was still working up the courage.
With a long sigh, Loki turned around and made his way to the place where he'd been spending most of his free time.
The compound's library was quite huge. One of the few rooms in the whole facility that had warm colors painting the walls and lacked the modern look; tall wooden shelves held thousands of books, a soft beige carpet covered the floor, and there were armchairs and sofas scattered in corners and in-between shelves creating comfortable, isolated nooks for reading. Loki's favorite spot was a worn armchair that stood near one of the big windows, it was surrounded by books that most people didn't read anymore, and the window itself overlooked the treeline in which the sun hid behind at the end of every day; sometimes as he sat there to read, it reminded him of his room back in Asgard.
Loki walked brushing his fingers over the spine of the old books, watching as dust particles danced in the sunlight. But as he rounded the shelf that led to his spot, he abruptly stopped in his tracks, feet glued to the carpet.
You sat cross-legged on the worn armchair, with a thick book lying in your lap that held all of your attention; the sun was shining right behind you, creating a halo above your head and bathing the strands of your hair in golden. You looked like something out of his favorite tale, more enchanting than all of the Midgard poetry books he's ever read.
It seemed like you two were making a habit of bumping into each other unexpectedly.
Loki gulped, squaring his shoulders. A beat passed, and then two, until you finally noticed him from the corner of your eyes. You looked up at him with your eyebrows softly raised in surprise, a gentle smile lifted the sides of your mouth; "Loki, hi."
"Hello," Loki greeted you slowly, his eyes shifting from the book in your lap to your eyes, "shouldn't you be out with the others, enjoying the sun?"
"Should I?" You narrowed your eyes, lazily closing your book and getting up from the armchair. "Shouldn't you?" You asked then, smirking as you raised an eyebrow and took a step towards him.
Loki's heart stumbled inside his chest, he breathed out a laugh. "I'm not big on hangouts."
You hummed, burying your hands in the pockets of your jeans. "Why is that?"
For a moment, Loki dwelled on whether to be honest or come up with an easy lie. But you were looking up at him with such delicacy, such attention, not a trace of hatred or judgment in your warm eyes. It almost looked as if you cared... about him.
Loki breathed in sharply through his nose, the words rolled off his tongue on their own; "I doubt many of your friends would enjoy my presence there."
You blinked up at him, lips parting before you told him quietly; "I would."
There was a distant burning behind Loki's eyes, his mouth felt dry. No one had ever rendered him completely speechless before, yet now, you had done just that. With his silence, you avoided his eyes and ran your tongue over your bottom lip in a motion that he couldn't help but follow.
"And..." You continued, voice sweet as honey, traveling between the bookshelves in the secluded library, "We'll never know if we don't try, right?"
The way you referred to you and him as 'we' got a foreign feeling blossoming inside Loki's chest, all warm and tingly. When you offered him your hand, so you could guide him downstairs to meet the others, he took it.
─── ·❆· ───
After a full week of taking care of the whole city, Saturday nights were a time for having fun and relaxing; aka movie nights with the team. Everyone sat together in the main living room of the compound, Tony had labeled it 'mandatory bonding day'. The room itself was pretty spacious, dimly lit, with two big comfortable couches and a TV that almost covered the whole wall, and a small kitchen right beside it for easy snacks and drinks.
"Right, I'm thinking... Terminator." Tony suggested as he came from the kitchen with an extra large bowl of popcorn in his arms.
"We saw that one already," Steve complained as he fumbled with the remote.
"There are multiple ones," Tony said, smugly, as he plopped himself on the couch and threw popcorn in his mouth.
Thor, who sat beside you, suddenly perked up with a giddy smile on his face; "oh I've always enjoyed that one who has the girl with the long, magic hair." The god gestured to his own hair.
Tony gaped at him, his fingers holding the popcorn were frozen midair. "Tangled?" He exclaimed then, eyebrows raised, "You wanna watch Tangled? in my house?"
You fought to hide a smile. "Technically it's our house," you quipped, after all, you were to blame for Thor's love for the Disney movie.
"Why don't we just watch both? The night is still young," Yelena finally suggested from her spot by the corner of the couch.
As they continued bickering, your eyes finally caught sight of the one you'd been waiting for.
Loki walked into the living room quietly, his socked feet barely making any noise on the expensive flooring. His gaze found yours before he saw anything else in the room, and a gentle, shy smile appeared on his lips.
You'd grown very close, very fast. Loki had started seeking your presence more and more each passing day; during the mornings he'd wait for you with an extra cup of coffee in hand, during the missions it was already routine that you two were a pair, and during the night you never parted ways without him planting a kiss on your forehead first.
Never in your life had you met someone quite like him, who carried such a bruised heart and still managed to be so loving. It made you wonder if anyone had ever bothered to see how beautiful his soul was, for you had fallen in love with it before you even touched his skin.
You gently patted the vacant seat on your left side, lifting the thin blanket covering your legs so Loki could sit down, and once he did you draped part of it over his legs as well.
"What's today's punishment?" Loki smirked, making himself comfortable beside you. His shoulder flush with yours.
"Stop it, movie nights are nice. I know you secretly enjoy them too," you chuckled, bumping his knee with yours. His proximity raised goosebumps all over your skin, and if you weren't so focused on your own feelings, you would've felt how much Loki's heart was racing as well.
"I only come to these because you do too," Loki mumbled, his eyes focused on the TV and a frown appearing on his eyebrows as the first scenes from Tangled played on the screen.
Your breath caught on your throat. He had said it so casually, so easily. You wondered if he had even realized the weight of his own words. "Right," you whispered, a little breathless.
It didn't take long for the only light in the room to be the one coming from the TV. When Tangled hit the 45-minute mark, Tony was already snoring and Thor had finished two bowls of popcorn. You, however, were wide awake and fully aware of Loki's arm resting on the back of the couch. What a cliche move, you thought to yourself, your cheeks burning hot and biting back a smile.
Loki's face as he watched the movie was nothing short of comical, one would think he was watching a period drama; his lips hovering ever so slightly before he'd scoff at a musical scene, his eyes softening as the romance between Rapunzel and Flynn blossomed, the way he mindlessly played with the ends of your hair. You watched him more than you watched the movie, and you didn't miss the way he froze and gulped when you finally rested your head on his shoulder.
─── ·❆· ───
The day had started out fine; a cold yet sunny morning, your fingers brushing Loki's when he handed you your cup of coffee, no eminent trouble in the city, everything was normal and fine; until it took a turn for the worse.
You didn't hear the fight, you didn't know exactly what caused it, but you felt it immediately. Anger, hurt, and pain were suddenly heavy in the air even through the closed door of your bedroom. As soon as a shiver ran up and down your spine you got up and all but ran outside to chase the somber feeling.
The elevator doors of your floor weren't even fully open yet when Loki busted his way through them, Thor hot on his heels.
"I knew it was a mistake coming here," Loki snapped, his steps fast as he put as much distance between himself and Thor as he could, nearly running straight into you in the process.
"You know what, brother," Thor began, he had stopped walking, standing in the middle of the living room, "Maybe it really was a mistake to bring you here, you don't care about anyone but yourself, it's almost as if you enjoy hurting people, you can't help it. It'll always be like this, that's why you're better off on your own." Thor wasn't shouting, but his words rang loudly in the room; his chest heaving when he stopped speaking.
You had held your breath the entire time, gripping the back of a kitchen stool until your knuckles turned white. Thor was angry, you could feel it even without being near him, but he didn't mean what he had said, not entirely. Thor's emotions were a passing wind on your skin though, for who you really felt, stood just a few feet behind you.
Loki had his back turned to his brother when he spoke, and he didn't turn around after. Even without looking at him, you could feel the way he trembled, unsteady hands closed into tight fists to mask his hurt; he gulped back a sob, and kept on walking to his bedroom without a word.
You could choke with the amount of pain radiating off of Loki; heavy, sickening, all-encompassing pain that you felt so vividly in your skin and bones. You only shot Thor an angry glance and muttered; "Damnit Thor," before turning around hastily. You thought you heard Thor calling after you, but you decided to ignore him, your priorities already set.
You ran after Loki, catching up just before his door slammed shut. Taking a deep breath, you walked into his bedroom and softly closed the door behind you with a click.
You'd never actually been in Loki's room before, so you took a single moment to glance around. The room itself was a little bare, with only the necessities such as a double bed, a dresser, a desk, a small bookshelf, and the door that led to his bathroom. You made a mental note to gift him something to liven up his space; maybe a plant.
Loki had his back turned to you still, both his hands resting on his waist as his head hung low. But you knew he knew it was you there with him, by the simple fact that he was allowing you to stay.
The silence was a heavy one, packed with the electricity of two souls tightly holding onto each other. Loki was trying so hard to keep all his pain in control, his shoulders shaking with each breath he took; but you could feel it as if it was your own.
"Loki," you said his name in nothing but breath, testing the waters. You took half a step toward him as you fidgeted with your hands.
He didn't answer. You weren't expecting him to.
You pursed your lips before saying; "he didn't mean it," your voice was choked and took effort to come out, the back of your eyes already burning, "what Thor said. He- he didn't mean it."
A few beats passed, and then; "doesn't matter if he did." Loki's words cracked in the middle, it was the most broken you'd ever heard him sound. "He's right."
"He's not," you told him in the same heartbeat, not a tint of hesitation in your tone.
Loki turned around, his gaze finally finding yours and there were tears pooling at the bottom lid of his bright eyes. "Yes, he is," he took a single big step toward you, nearly closing the distance between you and him. Loki's lips trembled as he struggled to keep talking; "and why is it that you care? What's in it for you?"
He was hurt, and he was frustrated, and he was angry; you knew that. Still, you couldn't help but be taken aback by his question. What could he even mean by that? Did he really believe that all this time that you'd been dancing around each other's feelings, it wasn't real?
"Loki, I-" you stuttered, not knowing how to say it without baring your heart in the process. Your hesitation got Loki avoiding his eyes from yours, and you forced yourself to go on. "There's nothing 'in it for me' I just... care about you."
Still waiting for the other shoe to drop, Loki softly shook his head, scoffing. His tears were a blink away from spilling, he felt as if barbed wire was wrapped around his throat, and his heart threatened to jump from his chest and straight into your hands.
It scared him. How easily you could make his walls crumble like paper in the rain. He flinched slightly when he felt the ghost of your touch on his cheek, blinking multiple times when your thumb brushed away a single tear rolling down his cheek. You touched him as if he were porcelain, and yet it still broke him.
"Is it that hard to believe that you're important to me?" You asked then, voice nothing but a whisper in the short space separating your bodies. With your hand still holding his cheek, you forced his eyes back on yours. "You have a good heart, Loki. I just wish you could see it the way I do. I wish everyone could see it."
The crooked smile he gave you nearly made your own tears fall. "You don't know what you're talking about, you don't know what I've done," he told you quietly, more than anything, he sounded utterly defeated.
"But I do know," your free hand found one of his then, and you tangled your fingers together loosely, "I might not have been with the Avengers when you attacked New York, but I was still in New York. And I still mean it, you could tell me every single bad thing you've ever done and I'd still tell you how good you are, because I see it. Every single day, Loki. I feel you every single day, and I can feel all this-" Your words caught in your throat and you tasted your tears on your lips. "-All this pain that you carry around and you still choose to be good."
Too many emotions swam behind his eyes for you to put a finger in any of them. But tears were running freely down Loki's cheeks now, pooling against your hand resting on his cheek.
"What did you-" he tried, gasping for air as if he was underwater. This was foreign territory. You had a place in his heart no one else could ever have, he realized, and his heart was beating faster than his mind knew what to do with. "You've been prying into my emotions without me knowing?" He sounded more desperate than annoyed.
"I didn't want to," You explained quickly, "I- I never meant to, but for some reason, I can't block you out." Shrugging weakly, you slowly dropped the hand resting on his cheek, missing the way he glanced down in search of your warmth. "I tried. I really tried."
There was a vulnerability in Loki's eyes you'd never seen before. He looked at you as if he'd just realized what love is. You wondered if you mimicked the same gaze—you sure felt it.
Loki shuffled in his stance. His hand, still holding onto yours, tightened its grip. "I'm-" He avoided your eyes, looking somewhere past your shoulder, "I'm sorry you had to feel all that."
You softened at his words, shaking your head and taking another step forward until your sneakers bumped his shoes. "Wasn't your fault," you whispered.
Loki gulped back a sob after you spoke, and that was the last straw for you to let go of his hand and pull his body to yours in an embrace.
He melted into you.
Loki's fingers dug into the fabric of your shirt and he buried his head against your shoulder—you soon felt it becoming damp, yet you only hugged him tighter. With the desperation he was holding you with, you wondered when was the last time someone had held him.
The soft sobs escaping him were muffled against you. And you couldn't help but stroke his back, the tips of your fingers burying into his very soul. "I'm sorry you had to go through all of this alone." You spoke near his ear, feeling the goosebumps that raised on his skin. "You never deserved it," you promised.
You weren't sure how much time passed, you stayed there for as long as Loki needed you to. When he eventually pulled away, he didn't go far, his hands kept holding your body close to him as if he was afraid you'd leave if he let go.
His bright eyes didn't hold a storm anymore, they were more like a calm sea. A soft frown etched itself into his eyebrows, "did you… take away my pain?"
You chuckled quietly, "No, I can't take away people's emotions." You lifted a hand until your fingertips could brush the skin on his forehead, "But I can make them lighter." You traced an invisible line over his eyebrow and until you reached his cheekbone, "Make the weight just a little bit easier to carry."
Loki leaned into your touch, almost closing his eyes. His hands that rested on your back traced your spine and pulled you closer. "Darling, you've been making it easier ever since the first day I met you."
⋆* ☾ ⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚
Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keeps me motivated to continue posting here, so I’d appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment. <3
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afolksongs · 2 years ago
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Sasha and I were like twins. It's like I'm losing half of myself.
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oifaaa · 2 months ago
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Can you elaborate on the Jason in Titans Tower was a hallucination/dream theory :0c? I've never heard of it before and it sounds interesting!
I have a longer post about it somewhere but the overall gist is Tim used to hallucinate alot, Jason never actually mentions Tim at all throughout utrh, his reasons for attacking Tim are very weird compared to everything he'd been doing so far, the things the titans say about jason are weird considering how they went on a couple missions together when jason was robin and he's meant to be in new York terrorising Dick at this time whys he gone on a road trip to the other side of the contry conclusions Tim was hallucinating
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hanjisungslag · 4 days ago
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hiiii!! so sorryyy idk if you take requests BUTT could you do headcannons of being in an argument with the aot characters?
🗣️ aot characters & arguments
characters involved: eren, armin, mikasa, connie, jean, sasha, reiner, annie, bertolt, erwin, levi & hange
notes: i do take requests indeed!! :3 i luv angst, i hope this is gd♡
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✧ eren jaeger - 
okay, when you guys argue it’s honestly more cute than anything because you’re both so protective of one another. neither of you wanted each other to join the scouts because it was so dangerous but, you both joined anyways obviously. oh my god, you guys non-stop bicker when there’s a mission! and don’t even get me started if you get put into different teams😭 you start TWEAKINGG. after he finds out he’s the attack titan, oh it gets 10x worse. his absolute biggest fear is losing control and hurting you - he’s already so conflicted, confused & felt like an outcast. he definitely lashes out more and becomes snappier than usual but, it does come from a place of sincerity.
when this happens, you just leave it be. as soon as it’s not just bickering anymore, when a voice is raised or an insult is made, you just leave it. you understand he’s going through a lot and just needs a minute but, TRUST ME! when you walk off, you make sure it is known that your feelings are hurt.
“i said no! you are not being on my team! im going with the levi squad, thats final.”
✧ armin arlert -
you both love each other very much but, goddamn you’re both so up your own arses! you are the ‘smart couple’ you are both strategic and witty and have your own way you go about things. so, when it comes to deciding whose plan is better, you always think yours is better and admin thinks his is better. this has (and probably always will be) the main root of your arguments, tbh. nobody likes to get involved either because if someone picks a side then even more havoc will break lose. the only people who’ve ever come between you two is: mikasa, levi & erwin.
it’s just like a debate, you know the ones on jubilee where it’s just people speaking over each other with different facts and sources? literally you two. you both would keep going until the end of time if you didn’t need to sleep, eat and drink water. it’s never that serious at the end of the day, you both love each other and i GUESS you can appreciate each others plans albeit you both think yours is better.
“if you actually listen to me when i say, my layout is better! look at how easy it is to manoeuvre from the castle to the forest!”
✧ mikasa ackerman -
wash the damn scarf. that is all you ask of her. she has literally never washed it and you love but jesus christ, stink LINGERS. not only do you think it’s weird she doesn’t wash it but, it’s also from eren… now, you know mikasa’s lore, of course. however, it’s really hard to get over your girlfriend having this deep love for this smelly scarf that her ex-crush gave to her after he literally saved her from being kidnapped. at first, you try to ignore it but it gets to a point where you sit down and talk to her but, she is not having it. she clearly cares very, very deeply for this scarf and will defend it. it’s really awkward conversation that slowly turns into raised voices and some opinionated things being raised.
“why are you getting jealous over a scarf? that’s so stupid! i just have fond memories with it!”
✧ connie springer -
again, not so much major arguments but just bickers. it usually starts as a joke but slowly but surely divulges into an argument about something stupid. one time, someone ate the last of jean’s meal that his mum made for him and he saved until today, obviously he was super upset and jokingly you blamed connie. at first, all was well, laughs were being heard and he even poked fun at you but, somewhere along the way it became more serious for you two, you genuinely suspected connie of eating jean’s meal and connie was getting visibly more upset.
“that was so not me! why are you telling them that?! i didn’t eat it, y/n!”
jean regretted asking who ate his food.
✧ jean kirstein -
jean is unfortunately a jealous guy. not for any malicious reasons, he’s just a bit insecure gang! he’s more scared that you’ll leave him for someone ‘better’ more than anything but, these feelings of insecurity manifest as jealously. he’d get jealous over you spending time with people like eren, mikasa or armin. in so many aspects, they’re better than him (in his eyes) and this will just make him reallyyy pissy. being in an argument with jean is painstakingly ambiguous like he never straight up says it, it’s always sly remarks or dry responses from him for a while. eventually, you know something is up and question him but he will avoid answering like the plague and it’s just so, so frustrating! eventually, when you break your calm demeanour, he will also break his ‘nonchalant-ness’ and just shout about how he feels.
he crossed his arms, “i just don’t understand why you need to be around him so much, you have me?”
✧ sasha braus -
absolutely nothing. i’m sorry but, she is too sweet and loving. IM SORRY, i’m sorry… i tried so hard to think of something but this queen is too perfect. at most, she would snap at you in high stress situations but she would never turn it into an argument. for example, if you told her to slow down her eating because you’re going on a mission but, she hasn’t eaten much that day she may snap and tell you to “let her do what she wants” but, she’s sooo quick to recover and apologise. literally not even giving you a second to even think about arguing with her!!
“ah, i’m sorry. you’re right, i don’t wanna be sick while flying through the air, huh?” she pouts.
✧ reiner braun -
you’re both from marley, you know damn well what you’re doing here but it seems reiner is straying off path. you’re there to try and remind him why you’re there and this leads to so many arguments. his split personality also plays a role in the arguments because it’s so.. scary and confusing for you because one moment he’s defending eldians than the next, he’s shouting at you about how he ‘knows the plan’.
when talking about stuff like this, since it’s extra sensitive for reiner he definitely flips out. i’m talking shouting, angry grunting, clenching his fists into balls and holding them against his forehead so he doesn’t fully crash tf out. he’s just as confused and scared as you are about his split personality but, he doesn’t want to seem weak or to seem like he’s losing sight of what is ‘right’ - it gets him really worked up. obviously, you stand your ground against him, he doesn’t scare you when you’re arguing. you’ve known him for so long.. you feel like he just needs to be guided.
“when did i ever say i liked them? yes, they’re okay people to be around for now but— no, i never said that! i know what they are, you don’t remind to tell me, y/n!”
✧ annie leonhart -
just the fact she’s cold and distant, it makes it really hard to actually have a relationship with her. at first, she was closed off COMPLETELY but cracks began to show and eventually, you thought you were at a good point with each other but, you kind of realised you didn’t know that much about annie. you try to ask questions to get her to open up but, she is one tough egg to crack so eventually, you just ask! hoping to help her more than anything but, this leads to an argument…
after this first argument, it became pretty regular like once every few weeks this would happen. you get super frustrated because she acts like she doesn’t even care! so, you’re shouting and getting really passionate while she sits there, looking pissed off and bored, rolling her eyes and scoffing. she doesn’t see the need to open up to you, she’s done what she thinks is ‘enough’ in her books.
“what do you want me to say? i’m not an open book, that’s just how i am. we’re all gonna end up dead, anyways.”
✧ bertolt hoover -
sigh… oh bert. every time you feel yourself developing further into your relationship with bert, his friends seem to pull him back. you’re still not quite sure why and they always seem to be giving side eyes or glances when he talks about his life - its starting to piss you off, rightfully so. you feel like he’s got two other side hoes watching yours and his every move! you being this up in subtle ways as to not seem like a crazy, jealous partner but eventually you burst and tell him how you really feel.
arguing with sweet bert isn’t fun because you can tell he tries so hard to please everyone in the situation, whether it’s you, him or now in this case, his friends too. he will raise his voice but, not in a bad way just in a general sense, things are getting heated, his voice will raise and he will fling his arms and hands. he’s a very expressive man when arguing because he is so passionate about it.
“y/n, they’re my friends! they’re just trying to protect me, why are you jealous?”
✧ erwin smith -
there’s so such things as arguments in your relationship, erwin likes to call them ‘mutual disagreements’ as your both in the scouts, he knows your time is limited. it’s a morbid and pessimistic way to think but, you have to be realistic when you live such a deadly lifestyle. he doesn’t want to take your time together for granted - plus, he’s a MAN like, he is calm and collected and will always hear you out.
you both start off calm, having a mature conversation about whatever it is that is bothering you but, when you start getting rowdier that’s when erwin quells the flames quickly. he takes a deep breath, hears you out and calmly walks you through it all. he’s so compassionate about it, i cant omg. he’ll gently place a hand over your own hand or on your shoulder if you’re standing, letting you know he’s present, he’ll sweetly talk you down, eventually calming you down and usually you’ll both say apologises or just general sweet statements and move on!
“i’m sorry, y/n. no, i’m glad you talked to me about this.”
✧ levi ackerman -
oh lord, being in an argument with levi ackerman is nawwtt fun. i’m sorry but, i’d kms if i argued with levi 😭. this man has such an awful resting bitch face as it is but, imagine his face when he’s arguing with you? IF LOOKS COULD KILL. he cant hide his emotions, so when you’re arguing even if he’s trying to be somewhat nice, his face says it all. usually he’ll roll his eyes and scoff if it’s something minor, he’ll hear you out, maybe give a half arsed apology or some sort of nice gesture to make sure you’re not upset however, if it’s a big issue oh brother…
silent treatment, i fear. he is so bad at communicating his feels correctly and often feels confused because this mf ain’t been in love before?! it gets too a point where he’s so mad, he just cant even begin to think of anything to say to you. you’ll be there raising your voice, becoming so passionate and when you ask what he thinks, he’ll say “i have nothing to say.” then boom, silent treatment. however, he’s bad with his words… but good with his actions. he still wants you to know he cares, you two could be in the most rancid moods but, you’ll go to your room and find your clothes ironed and folded🥲.
✧ hange zoë -
oh my sweet hange, my probably neurological challenged sweet hange… an argument with them would definitely stem from them spending more time with titans than you. when sawney and bean were around, you weren’t getting ANY time of day with them, trust. at first, you didn’t want to say anything because of course, you understand! the lifetime you guys are living in, things like hange’s research is soo important but, you can’t help but feel neglected sometimes.
when you finally bring it up, an argument ensues. neither of you really shout or anything, it’s just that kind of weird sort of raised, high pitched voice people get when you’re really frustrated. you both stay relatively calm for the situation you’re in but, you can totally tell you’re both so frustrated because hange just doesn’t see the problem. when you guys argue like this, it usually just goes in circles and after a while you both decide to mutually give up and leave it for another day.
“it’s all for science and the greater good of humanity though, i don’t understand?”
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