#‘yes charles of course I know what I’m doing I’ve been dead for 75 years’ <- has been bullshitting the entire time

[zinnie-zoloft]

Edwin had only been a proper ghost for about a month or so before he met Charles. In hell they have physical forms, he’d only been figuring out how to exist as a ghost for a few weeks.

Then Charles starts asking about how it works, what the rules are, and he tries to dodge the question but the kid keeps asking and he’s dying after all so he might as well humour him.

He acts like he knows what he’s doing, shows off a little even though he only knows the few basic tricks every other ghost probably figures out soon after death. It’s not like Charles will ever find out anyway, he’ll be moving on soon.

But then he doesn’t. Charles dies and decides to stay with Edwin, because apparently he’s crazy enough to throw away his blissful afterlife for a boy he just met. Edwin tries to tell him as such, to warn him of what he’s subjecting himself to an eternity of.

“I’ll be aces” he says, “I have you to teach me everything, don’t I?”. He looks at him with so much faith that Edwin can’t possibly tell him the truth, not now. He’s in far too deep and he’ll just have to keep pretending, he can’t let Charles down. Besides, how hard can it be?

[raeynbowboi]

Debunking the Frozen/Tarzan Connection Theory

For those not in the know, in the wake of Frozen’s release, it became a popular fan theory that Anna and Elsa’s parents were on their way to Rapunzel and Eugene’s wedding and/or coronation when their ship sank off the coast of Denmark (later found by Ariel while searching for human treasures) But, rather than dying, they survived the sinking of the ship and found their way to Africa where Tarzan takes place, making Tarzan the heir apparent of the throne of Arendale.

Now that I’ve explained the theory, let’s get down to why it doesn’t work. Now the first thing I must discuss is that Disney movies tend to be set “once upon a time” with no given year in particular in mind.  While it’s hard to pinpoint an exact year, Disney does put in enough effort to generally set a century or even a decade, although historical accuracy varies from movie to movie. So I’m looking to be precise, but I’m not dead set on being accurate. Regardless, I think I can soundly place the movies in time through the use of clothing, hairstyles, and historical facts.

Frozen (2013) Setting: Arendale, Norway 1820′s

The film is based on Hans Christian Andersen’s The Snow Queen (1844) which was inspired after a trip to Norway and the rejection of his affections by Jenny Lind, a Swedish opera singer, whom he remarked must have a frozen heart because she could not love him. Likewise, the Disney animators also took a trip to Norway to inspire the designs, layouts, and fashion of the movie. The hair worn in a coil running along the top of the head (worn by Elsa, Anna, and their mother) was a fashion staple that emerged in the 1820s, and the cravat and tailcoats (both worn by Hans) came into fashion for men during the same decade placing the film rather comfortably in the 1820s. This is further backed up by the fact that Tangled is set in the late 1810′s or very early 1820s, as the fashion in the film emulates the switch to geometric hems and necklines (seen in Rapunzel’s square neckline) and the introduction of slacks in menswear as opposed to pantaloons sported by Eugene. This is also aided by Little Mermaid taking place roughly in the 1830s, which would be after the king and queen of Arendale’s ship would go down.

Tarzan (1999) Setting: Gabon, Africa 1882

While it is news to absolutely nobody that Tarzan is set in Africa, an exact location is never given. However, it can be gleamed that Tarzan lives in either Gabon, Cameroon, or Equatorial Guinea, as they are all coastal African countries where the Western Lowland Gorilla resides, the type of gorilla that Tarzan is living with.

So, what is the problem with the theory? Well there are two major components to why this theory does not work.

The Time

Frozen takes place in the 1820s. If we were to use, say 1824 as our year number, we could do some calculations that would help disprove the theory. Elsa is canonically 21 years old in the movie, which would suggest that if the movie is set in 1824, she would have been born in 1803, or at least somewhere around this time. Elsa’s parents were probably at least 13 when they got married, so taking the absolute bare minimum youngest her parents could possibly be, her parents had to have been born in 1790 at the very latest, if not earlier. Now, Tarzan takes place in 1882, and there’s a reason it cannot take place any sooner, and the fault lies with Rudyard Kipling. As the expedition party is taking Tarzan in his suit aboard the boat, Jane croons about all the people that will want to meet him, to which her father replies “Yes! Darwin and Kipling! Queen Victoria!” This implies that three people are alive at this time: Charles Darwin, Rudyard Kipling, and Queen Victoria. Darwin and Victoria are fine enough, they were active from the 1830s to the 1880s, but Kipling is the wrench in it all. Rudyard Kipling was not born until 1865, and Charles Darwin died in 1882. By the time Kipling would have been a famous or successful writer, Darwin would have already been long dead, so 1882 is the absolute latest that their words can be assumed to be truthful, though Kipling being famous while Darwin is alive is still untrue. Seeing as Tarzan is about 20 or so, that would place his birthday roughly around 1862. Anna and Elsa’s parents go missing about 3 years before the film starts. If we placed the film in 1824, they would have gone missing in 1821. This would mean that the time between them going missing and them arriving with baby Tarzan would cover a span of 41 years. Considering they were 34 at the youngest when they left, that places their ages at approximately 75 years old when Tarzan is born. And that’s giving them the absolute youngest possible ages. It’s been a while since I’ve seen Tarzan, but I don’t recall his parents being an elderly couple. Even Anna and Elsa would be elderly with Elsa being roughly 62 years old, and Anna being 59.

The Distance

The ship that Anna and Elsa’s parents are in goes down off the coast of Denmark (if the theory is to be believed) that would mean that the two would have had to row more than 13,000 km or more than 8,000 miles to get from the coast of Denmark to the cast of Africa where the movie takes place. Given the average rowing speed of a single rower is approximately 1.4 miles per hour, this would mean that it would take 5,714 hours or 238 days of rowing continuously to get from one location to the other. Even at champion speeds of 13.4 miles an hour for a rowing team, the journey would still take 597 hours or 24.9 days of non-stop rowing to reach the African coast from the North Sea. Keeping in mind that they’re shipwrecker survivors, and that they have a baby with them when they get off the boat, they have three mouths to feed for almost an entire year and no way of renewing their drinking water. More than likely, they would die of thirst, hunger, or exposure long before they ever saw the coast of Africa. Keep in mind, of course, that this is a skewed estimate since Google maps does not offer sea faring paths to be calculated.

So, I’ve made my case. Now, I leave it to you to decide if you believe me or not. And If I was misinformed about anything, please do not hesitate to correct me because I never turn down an opportunity to learn.

[thesoftdumbass]

Yallneedtrek’s Writing Anniversary Challenge

Hi you guys! So, I’ve been wanting to host a writing challenge for a while, and now seems like a good time to do so. November 30th marks the 2 year anniversary of when I started posting my fanfiction, starting out with a whopping 649 words on this Charles Xavier fic. Things have changed since then, I’ve written a lot more and joined a few fandoms since then, made some friends, and all in all enjoyed my time here on tumblr.

So if anybody would like to join my writing challenge, here are some things to remember while entering/posting:

~To enter the writing challenge, you must send me an ASK with a character or ship, and AU, AND a prompt from the lists below. (If you send anonymously or have multiple blogs, make sure that I know which blog you will be posting on)

~All entries are due by November 30th, 2018. There is no cut-off date to enter the challenge, as long as you think you can finish, you can enter whenever. (I will post occasional reminders and tag everybody who signed up!)

~Characters/ships can be used multiple times, as can AUs, but prompts can only be used once.

~If there’s a character/ship not on the list but that belongs in my fandoms, you can message me if you’d like to write for them and get my okay!

~You can use any writing genre: fluff, smut, angst, whatever. I would prefer angst-y fics to end happily, though!

~Important! When posting, please include Warnings, Word Count, and a Summary. Also, add a “Read More” if your fic is over 400 words so we don’t clog up everybody’s dash!

~When posting your fic, tag my blog and use the tag #yallneedtrekwritingchallenge, and send the post to me directly to make sure that I’ve seen it. I will reblog all of the fics and add them all to a masterlist to be shared when all entries are posted!

Have fun writing, lovelies!

Characters and Ships - Choose one:

Star Trek-

Jim Kirk

McKirk

Montgomery “Scotty” Scott

Spock

Pavel Chekov

Wonder Woman-

Steve Trevor

WonderTrev

Avengers-

Steve Rogers

Stucky

Bucky Barnes

Sam Wilson

Loki Odinson

Thor Odinson

Urban boys-

Leonard “Bones” McCoy

Gavin Magary

Siberius Vaako

Black Hat

Eomer

John Kennex

Any Karl Urban character, really

Other-

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

Lance Tucker

Carter Baizen

Wynonna Earp

Doc Holliday

AU’s - Choose one:

Soulmate

Firefighter

Royal

Fake dating / fake married

Supernatural (any supernatural creature/phenomenon)

Neighbors

University / Fellow Professors

Artist

Flower Shop

Vikings

Called / texted the wrong number

Body Swap

Bartender

Motorcycle Club

Roadtrip

Book Shop / Library

Office

Coffee Shop

Arranged Marriage

Roommate

Writing Prompts - Choose one:

1. “But I’m not wearing pants”

2. “Why were you in a dumpster?”

3. “Just give me the ____ and nobody gets hurt”

4. “Lick me all you want, I’m not moving my hand”

5. “I did not kidnap you! I anything, I adult-snatched you.”

6. “Didn’t you ever stop and think that there’s a reason I’m here?”

7. “Next time you come in my room to scare me, try picking a better hiding spot than behind the curtains.”

8. “What do you suggest we do?”

9. “Are you okay? I’ve never seen you turn down food.”

10. “Are those my underwear?”

11. “Will you just stop talking?” “Make me.”

12. “Did you just make a joke?”

13. “And you say I’m the dramatic one”

14. “Don’t get your hopes up”

15. “Subtlety is not your strong suit”

16. “My mind does not immediately jump to murder. Oh who am I kidding, of course it does!”

17. “Do you smell something burning?”

18. “No you are not Batman, stop saying that!”

19. “If you don’t stop talking in song quotes, I swear I will end you”

20. “Who ever said that I hate you?”

21. “Who thought it was a good idea to give (him/her/them) coffee?”

22. “What is that incessant beeping?”

23. “Here, take my jacket”

24. “Say hello to your cat for me”

25. “Who are you talking to?”

26. “Stay, please”

27. “Are you dead?” “Yes.”

28. “Next time you need help, don’t come to me”

29. “Can anybody tell me why my house is on fire?!”

30. “Are you crying?” “No! Shut up.”

31. “Stop screaming, it’s just me.”

32. “Jealous is not a good look on you”

33. “Is my leg supposed to bend that way?”

34. “I would rather be stuck on a deserted island with literally anybody but you”

35. “If you get ‘Let it Go’ stuck in my head one more time, I will never speak to you again.”

36. “I am too tired to deal with your happy disposition today”

37. “That line was so cheesy, it hurts.”

38. “Can you not be sarcastic just for once?”

39. “I told you this was a bad idea”

40. “Do not throw up on me”

41. “I’m just gonna keep talking until you smile”

42. “If you’re trying to seduce me, I would reconsider.”

43. “Can I kiss you?”

44. “I must be going crazy”

45. “Do I spy a tattoo?”

46. “Am I turning into a vampire?”

47. “No, you cannot borrow my laptop! You remember what happened the last time.”

48. “Just hug me before I put someone’s head through a wall.”

49. “If you can’t tell, I am very angry.”

50. “Are those little unicorns on your boxers?”

51. “You dropped something”

52. “You must be new here”

53. “Can we watch movies and cuddle?”

54. “I love you, I hope you know that.”

55. “I need you to stop laughing and come help me”

56. “Next time, I pick the music.”

57. “Can I kill (them)?”

58. “If you can go one hour without talking, I will kiss you”

59. “Stop saying that”

60. “You’re ridiculous”

61. “I’d hate to ruin such a sweet moment, but we have to go.”

62. “Oh, I almost forgot you were here”

63. “Is it true what they say?”

64. “Is that what I think it is?”

65. “You’ve got no sense of self-preservation”

66. “You’re worrying me”

67. “Get away from me”

68. “Don’t say that”

69. “Sometimes I wish I never met you”

70. “Can you stop poking me?”

71. “Don’t tell me to calm down, you’re covered in blood!”

72. “Will you tell me a story?”

73. “There might be a small…large…dent in your car, but please don’t kill me, I can explain!”

74. “I just want to drink chocolate milk and take a nap.” “You are a grown adult.”

75. “Are you drunk?”

76. “It looks like there was a train wreck in here”

77. “You lost the bet, you know what that means”

78. “I shouldn’t be here.” “Then why are you?”

79. “I’m not going with you dressed like that”

80. “Who else is going to save you from yourself?”

81. “What kind of name is that?”

82. “That is a lot of- what even is that?”

83. “That doesn’t look like fun, it looks like a death trap”

84. “So this is what betrayal looks like”

85. “Who started the food fight?”

86. “What, my poetry isn’t good enough for you?” “You just recited Dr. Seuss.”

87. “I’ve been shot!” “Relax, it’s just a nerf bullet.”

88. “You’re trying too hard, you need to just relax.”

89. “You look like the poster-child for bad decisions”

90. “Could you be any more oblivious?”

91. “Shut your whore mouth”

92. “Say that to my face, you soggy piece of pizza”

93. “You are such a moldy shower curtain”

I really hope you guys have fun writing, and I’m looking forward to reading all of your amazing fics! If you have any questions, feel free to message me or send an ask. Love you all!

I’m adding everyone on my tag list and Urban Shitposting group just in case you want to join or signal boost!

@deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester @mad-girl-without-a-box @cd1242 @space-helen @izzy10718 @feelmyroarrrr @bookcaseninja @musikat18 @kickingitwithkirk @auduna-druitt @garnet-redtailedhero @bubblegum-star-trek @reading-in-moonlight @cuddlememerrick @loststarlight @fireboltrose7559 @lauuerodz @bkwrm523 @fearofdeathkeepsusalive @goingknowherewastaken @annathewitch @outside-the-government @queenmismatched  @thefanficfaerie