#‘when i was 12 my friend lived in my closet and i fed him pop tarts. edward sherman was his name’

[butchfemmes]

swimming pools by kendrick lamar is an extremely triggering song for me, unexpectedly

[emilyxvalentyne]

Alcoholic Love CH

A/n: So this is my first ever series so please bare with me. I may not be the best but I’m trying so please leave some positive feed back. Don’t let this flop please.

Disclaimer: This is just some good old classic fiction. I am not involved or do I know anything about the character used in this.

Warnings: not really any in this one but for the (series) there is going to be some of the following: alcohol abuse, drug abuse, cursing, depression, anxiety.

Summary: CalumXgirlfriend theres a rough patch in the relationship Calum has become distant, she slowly turns to drugs and alcohol to numb her pain.

A/n: please don’t let this flop!! Give me some tips on how to better it or if you have any ideas for me.

…………

I woke up to the bed empty this morning, I heard some noise going on downstairs so I assume Calum is still here. I got out of bed and put some socks on trying to avoid the cold floor. I made my way down stairs and into the kitchen. I saw Calum making some coffee. I slowly made my way behind him wrapping my arms around his torso resting my head against his back, he tensed up against my touch but didn't respond to it. I sighed and moved away from him walking over to the fridge, grabbing the butter, jam and orange juice. I set them on the counter next to Calum, who was sitting on a stool drinking his coffee and texting someone on his phone. I turned away from him and stuck some bread in the toaster. Calum seemed to be entertained with his phone to pay me any mind. I leaned my side in to the counter keeping me up on my propped elbow. I stared at Calum trying to read his face. Lately it's just been nothing but him working or going out, this is probably the longest we have been in a room together in about three weeks. He was dressed up as if he was about to head out. I would be lying if I said I wasn't sad that he was going out. I've tried talking to him about it but all he says is that he doesn't have time to talk about it or that he was to tired. I felt sad whenever I was alone here in our home, of course I went to work and did some college classes but whenever I got home to an empty house (besides duke) it always depressed me. I was pulled out of my thought when my toast finally popped up. I took out a butter knife and smeared the butter and strawberry jam on the golden squares. I poured some juice into a glass and put everything away. I pulled out the stool next to Calum and sat down. I felt Calum's stare burn into the side of my face as I sat there eating my toast.

'Do you want some of my toast?' I slide my plate over to Calum finally making eye contact with him. His eyes were dark and unreadable, but I could sense he was annoyed. Calum rolled his eyes and got up placing his mug into the sink. I felt as if he was almost annoyed with my very existence.

'No im heading out' I heard Calum mumble as he stared walking towards the living room. I followed I never ask Calum where he went anymore so I could avoid him getting mad but now I was kind skeptical on where exactly he was going. Calum was crouched down petting dukes head.

'Heading out where?' I asked more to myself rather then to him. I could practically see him rolling his eyes. He stood up and glared over at me.

'I'm just going out, God do you need to know where I am like your my mom' Calum was now heading up to our room I was right behind him following him into the closet where he continued to look for shoes.

'I never ask you where you even go anymore because you get mad all the time' I stood there in front of him as he sat on the bed tying his shoes.

'Well then why do you ask its just a waste of my time and yours' Calum was now putting on some cologne. He looked extremely agitated with me but at this point I could care less.

'Because I was wondering what time you would be home so we could hang out you know it's been a while since we-' I was cut off by Calum chuckling he stared at me as if I was stupid.

'Look I really don't have time for all of this right now I have to get going' calum said as he stared walking past me. But I reached forward to grab his wrist.

'Are you seriously to busy to even hang out with me? What has gotten into you, huh? All you do is go to rehearsal and go out with your friends, you seem to never have time for me, your girlfriend anymore' I looked into his dark eyes trying to see anything but all I could see was annoyance.

'Oh my god, fine then be ready by 6' Calum pulled his arm back and walked out of the room. I followed not wanting to give up.

'Are you serious, you are taking me out later?' I said before he walked out the front door. He turned around stood directly in front of me towering over me. I felt as if his eyes were burning into my soul, all I wanted to do was step back but I felt locked into place.

'Yes, I'll be back later' Calum reached forward and and caressed my cheek and leaned in placing a kiss on my forehead. He then turned out the door shutting it closed with a loud thud. I was left in the same position as he left me in. Confused his kiss didn't feel right on my skin anymore almost as if he had forced it. I walked back upstairs and into my room where I then laid on our bed. I glanced over to his side of the bed. It was slightly wrinkled as if he only slept on top of the blankets. I wish he was still here, I wish he would spend the day with me, I wish.... I wish he would love me... no he, does love me maybe he's having a hard time at the studio and rehearsal.

I rolled into my side and looked at my alarm clock it was 12:36 in the afternoon. I sat there deciding whether or not to clean the house. After a long sigh I got up and walked over to the laundry basket that of course had only my clothes in it with Calum's clothes all bunched up on the floor around it. 'For the last time the clothes goes into the basket' I groaned out loud, I put all the dirty laundry in to the basket and made my way down to the laundry room. I started organizing the clothes and washing and folding. It's amazing how much clothes Calum goes through in one week. After about an hour and a half of washing and folding I finally finished and fed duke and washed the dishes. The rest of the house was basically clean since I clean it almost everyday. I sat on the couch finally checking my phone. I responded to a few text and checked the time it was 3:17 I groaned and decided to watch tv. I flipped through the channels while duke laid on my lap.

'You understand me right' I spoke to the little furry dog that laid on my lap. Duke just continued to chew on his bone. 'Why is your owner such an asshole sometimes' this time duke looked up and whimpered almost as if he understood what I said

'But I love him just as much as I love you' I ruffled his fur and kissed his head. I got up finally making my way to take a shower and getting ready to go out with Calum.

I put on a two piece set with some sandals I curled my hair and sprayed myself with Calum’s favorite scent on me. My makeup was done and now it was just a waiting game.

6:30 rolled around at this moment he could just be late. I let duke go out into the backyard I watched him run around then come back inside where he literally stopped to look at me and then he ran back out. I laughed at every little thing he did he really does cheer me up when I’m feeling down. He’s like a best friend but I always wish he could talk that would be cool. I played tug war with him and I always let him win. He made me miss my family and my dog back home.

7:30 rolled around the sun was getting ready to set and there was still no sign of Calum. I knew at this point he wasn’t going to come but a small part of me still had hope. I was mad that I got all ready for him to not even show up but in the end I should have expected this it’s really no shocker. I texted him but it wasn’t the usual ‘hey are you still coming!’ Text. Rather I sent this instead ‘ you could’ve just told me you were busy tonight or not even have told me to get ready for disappointment tonight at all. It probably would have hurt less’. I dragged myself up stairs to change I put on some sweats and a Pink Floyd t-shirt, I slipped my checkers vans on and grabbed my credit card and keys. I decided to just leave my phone I got into my car and went to the local Mexican restaurant I usually go to. I really didn’t want to sit around being sad.

“Well well well welcome back, long time no see” Celia my usual waitress was always to cheerful.

“Yah yah yah I know” I laughed as I took a seat right in front of her as I scanned the menu as if I didn’t know what was on it.

“What will it be hermosa? The usual?” I nodded and handed her the menu.

“Wait Celia can I get it to go and a strawberry margarita to go as well please”

“Of course Emily, I’ll be right back” I scanned the restaurant it was pretty slow for a Friday night usually the place packed with customers.

“Slow tonight because banda MS is in town, how come you’re not there you usually love seeing and going to bailes mija”

“I wasn’t really feeling it tonight I guess” I wasn’t even feeling anything tonight. I didn’t even know my favorite Latin band was in town.

“What’s wrong chula you seem like you have a lot on your mind you know you can tell your momma Celia anything” I really wanted to cry she always made me miss my mom.

“I’m just stressed about school and work that’s all”

“No no I think this something else, do you got boy troubles is it that boyfriend of yours the Australiano” she could always tell what was wrong.

“Yah... he stood me up again I don’t know what to do anymore, god Celia i really love him, but he doesn’t seem to feel the same anymore. It’s like the more I try to talk to him the farther away he gets” tears welted up on my eyes but I held them in.

“Chula you cant force love, sometimes you just have to get up and go. If he is the one for you he will make that clear he will chase after you if he wants you for you because he loves you. And you will see that he wants you because he loves you, you will feel it but if he doesn’t want you then you need to move on and do what is good for you, you have to fall before you can get back up you are young and beautiful and dont forget you are a Latina, nos otras somos fuerte (we are strong) I don’t want to see you all sad next time you come in okay?” I hugged Celia she’s my mom from my home away for home.

“Okay thank you Celia” I paid and tipped her and left I made my way back home to finally eat my Nachos and drink my margarita.

11:30pm rolled by and there was still no sign of him. I always try and try and try. I Put others before myself, and my heart just isn’t ready to let go. I feel as if having this big heart of mine is only a blessing when it becomes an accommodation to other but it’s a curse to my feelings. I put my plates in the sink and my trash in the bin. I switch off the lights and locked up so I can head up to bed.

Another night alone, same bed that made me feel so loved and protected. Now it’s the place where I long for that innocent loving touch

[melancholy-smile]

At the age of 10 nearly 11 I got into a car accident. My mother was badly hurt, but she’s alive. She still faces pain and there’s a dent in his shoulder blade. It was a tow truck, with a van on the back, that hit my moms car. I blacked at upon the impact. I woke up on the car floor with glass in my boots. I thought my mother was gone.

I only cried in the ambulance to the hospital that day, but not hard. Just shed a few tears. I have a scar on my neck and I had glass in my chin from August to March.

It makes me sick sometimes to watch my mom talk about it, and the way she talks about it almost looks like she’s bragging about it.

The day before my 11th birthday she pulled me out of bed by my hair, kicked and hit me. I had been awful at getting up that week, as going to the middle school that was 30 minutes away scared my mom. So she gave me a phone as an early present. I made internet friends and stayed up talking to them. That day is the day she broke I guess.

I had faced my father hitting me over the head to get me to focas on my homework better. And him embarrassing me by recording me and saying how long it’s taken me to do my homework. He kept telling me one day if I had a friend over or significant other he’d show them the videos.

When I was younger our cat got fixed and my dad joked about us waking up to find her with her guts on the floor from the stitching popping. I was terrified to go to bed that night as I kept imagining it and was panicking wanting her to be okay.

My dad used to hold me and make me watch horror movies with him. Zombies used to terrify me Because it related to an apocalyptic word. He made me watch a cartoon thing, “Lenore the cute dead girl,” and made me cry so I went to my room Because the cartoon had her squish hamsters to death because she thought they were a toy some kid had. The toy and pet store were right next to each other. He kept trying to get me to come back and watch it. The had the hamsters squeal in pain. I wasn’t older then ten. Somewhere younger than that.

He kept trying to make me watch him play the scary maze game. Or games like it. To make me scream and cry because it was funny to him. I think I eventually learned to not give him the reactions he wanted. Which is why when things scare me, sometimes the most that happens is my eyes widen. I wasn’t afraid of the dark till he made me watch a movie called “don’t be afraid of the dark.”

My dad used to give me Indian brush burn on the arms for no reason sometimes. Just to see me in pain. Oh yea he also made me watch happy tree friends which used to make me cry so much. He made me watch robot chicken too. One episode thing with woody and buzz I think gave me nightmares for so long. And again this was all before the age of ten.

As I’ve gotten older the hitting had stopped. I’m “too big to hit anymore.” The fear is still there, and sometimes I think if it started again I would deserve it. I was a brat when I was young and I was rotten. I had major anger issues also, worse than now and I believe it was because of what my parents did.

My aunt used to live with us and I would be with her constantly. My mom would come home from work and wouldn’t even come to see me. My aunt talked to me, fed me, played with me, while my dad did his music or drawings, and my mom would play on her phone.

My dad was whipping my mom in the ass with licorice and I thought he was really hurting her. I could hear her jump and shriek. I used to despise my father and it’s because of my mother making me only love her, and she’s all I’ve got, and No one will Ever love me as much as Her. when they got in the car I whipped him in the face with the licorice I had and I’ve never seen him turn so fast. In one motion he turned and whipped me back in the face with his piece. I don’t think I did or said anything else.

I wanted to help my mom Because I remember a fight where she ran out of the house followed by my dad and I was alone for a bit. I remember him shoving her against the stand up wardrobe and yelling in her face.

I used to fight with my mom and scream and cry. I don’t remember when I stated but I used to say “take me to an orphanage.” I feel like shit for it. I feel like I was just being a brat. And my mom got me to stop when she said “you want your clothes to smell like garbage bags? You want goodnights to stop?”

I used to think my sister wanted me gone or dead. I don’t know why. I remember crying in my moms closet and thinking I wanted to be dead. I wasn’t close to being 10.

My mom said she hated me once, she said I said it first but I don’t remember that. It wasn’t a word anyone had said in the home. Why would I say that? Even if I did, She’s a literal adult who shouldn’t say something like that. I’ve asked her about it, and it’s “you said it first,” like a kid telling a teacher “she started it.” I said it to my dad later on, after we moved, and I could see the pain and sadness in his eyes. And him saying that what I said hurt, and he went to bed so I couldn’t apologize till much later. Why did my mom say she hated me? I felt pressure on my shoulders, I was about to cry, I was having bad anxiety over cleaning my room. And when I just wanted it to stop and for her to go away she said it. Why did I say it to my dad? I really don’t remember.

I tried talking about feeling sad and upset to my mom three times. They all ended with her hitting me and telling me I was fine. Most recent one, My dad came in once after she hit me and said “did I hear her say you hit her in the face? You don’t do that, but if I hear you scream in your mothers face again I will hold you down and let her beat the shit out of you.” I was 12, getting close to 13. I didn’t even scream in her face, I raised my voice slightly Because she kept talking over me, interrupting me.

My dad once kept trying to “help” with homework. I made him so frustrated he went to smoke. It still sticks in my mind of my mother saying “your father is trying to quit smoking and you aren’t helping.” Like everything was my fault.

Homework took forever Because I’m dyslexic and dysgraphic. So I confuse numbers, letters, skip sentences, And have problems with writing motor skills

My moms parents hit her, her mom broke some wooden thing when spanking her, and my dad’s father hit him. So badly once he couldn’t go to school because of his face. That’s where the face rule comes from. They continue the toxic cycle, and Because of them I don’t want kids. I don’t wanna fuck them up too.

Technically yes things have gotten better but I’ve always been “mature for my age” Because of this shit.

Things have gotten better, I have more freedom and things to make me happy, more than I guess than a lot of kids. Sometimes I wonder if they’ll ever start up again with everything. Sometimes I feel like because this is all I the past I don’t have the right to be mad at them for any of it. Like because it’s “old news,” I shouldn’t fuss, and forgive them.

I still feel like everything was my fault. That I deserved every bit of it. That I made them so angry they decided that was the way to handle it.

If it were to start again, I think I’d deserve it, as much as I wanna say I’d fight back, this time I’d tell, I don’t think I would.

But still technically things haven gotten better. Look at me, haven’t been his in two years maybe? There are threats, from mom, surprise but no commitments.

Things are fine.

[greasy-goblin-king]

Sassy Satan and the Fire-Breathing Bone Horse

     The greatest love story ever told is not about a shy nerdy girl falling in love with a reckless bad boy with a heart of gold, or when two teens have a forbidden romance and die for each other because they can't be together. The greatest love story is between a concerned father named Frank and a boy with too much sass for everyone else to handle.

     On that morning, Rafael woke up to the strangest thing. Ruby was humming while baking cookies that surprisingly didn't have any human flesh in them, Sam and Odessa were planting flowers in the graveyard behind the house and Ainsley didn't have her head stuck in her sketchbook drawing some weird monster they captured last week. Raf walked downstairs to investigate but before he could even take a step, Ruby practically tackles him and drags him to the living room. Confused, Rafael asks "What's going on? Why is Ruby being all jumpy and happy? And why is everyone being so weird?" No one answers.  

     As Raf stumbles onto the couch, everyone turns their attention to Ruby. "Happy day Gang, my Dads are coming into town and they have a big announcement. They will be here any minute," Ruby said turning to the foyer as if her parents were just going to magically appear. "AHEM, I SAID THEY WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE," Ruby shouted like she was signaling for someone to come out. At that moment the floor began to separate as a giant puff of pink glittery smoke emerged from the ground as a black and red elevator rose from the Underworld. The elevator had a bronze plaque above the door that read "Hellevator", on the top of the Hellevator it had two little devil horns and makeup lights along the frame of said elevator. "They're here!" Sam and Ruby giggled, Rafael's eyes widened. He was speechless.  

     As the smoke cleared, Rafael read the writing above the door "What is a Hellevator?" Odessa asked, "An elevator from Hell." Ruby replied. Two men step out of the mysterious Hellevator. One was familiar, he was in a few pictures on the mantle of the fireplace with Ruby. But the other man looked inhuman, his skin was had an unnatural pink hue and he had horns and a tail. For no reason at all the man with the horns was wearing a bright red suit and a sparkly magenta feather boa. "Hey Sweetie," said the man with horns, "Hello other people living in my daughter's home." The two men walked out of the foyer to the living room as the Hellevator sank back down to Hell. As everyone settled in the living room, Ruby began introducing everyone "Okay, Rafael is the person asking all the questions. The girl with the notebook in her face is Ainsley. Odessa is our sweet little moral compass, and finally, Sam is the chick with the bag on her head." The Gang greeted Ruby's parents. "Hi, I'm Frank Jones, Ruby's biological father, an- “the man with the horns interrupted "And you could have guessed, I'm Sassy Satan."

     Still, with so many questions, Ainsley was the only one out of the confused bunch to utter a sound, "Wait, why SASSY Satan?"  

     "Wait, out of all the questions you could've asked, why did you ask that one?" Odessa wondered.

     "Settle down children, all of your inquiries will be resolved in due time." Sassy Satan remarked.

     After most of their questions were answered, one still lingered in the air. What was Frank and Sassy Satan's big announcement? "We came here today to tell you all that we're getting married!" Frank proclaimed, "Finally! Oh, my goodness, it has taken you two 14 years to tie the knot." Ruby said the group turned to the couple even more confused than before. This had to be some weird collective fever dream that Rafael, Odessa, and Ainsley were having, but at the same time, it was somehow believable (mostly because she was a second-generation serial killer that fights ghosts). "Yes, I met Sassy Satan when Rub's was five," Frank said, "Ooh, Dad tell them how you and Pops met!"  

     "Well, it all began with a letter to Santa..."

     Fourteen years ago, when our lovable psychopath was only a toddler, her father asked her a simple question that was going to change everything. "So, Rube's what do you want for Christmas?" Frank asked, "It's a secret. I can only tell Santa." Ruby said. "You should write him a letter, and you should do it soon. Christmas is only a week away." The five-year-old nodded in agreement. She ran to her room in excitement, so she could keep her Christmas wish a secret. But little did Ruby know that she tragically misspelled the name "Santa". When she was done, she told Frank and they headed to the post office to drop it off. After they mailed the letter, they went out to get ice cream. While doing so, Frank asked Ruby, "So, what do you want for Christmas?"  

     "I asked Santa for a pony!" Ruby replied, not knowing the events that would happen because of that fateful letter.

     On Christmas Eve, Ruby and Frank were setting up in anticipation of Old Saint Nick. Frank pulled some freshly baked sugar cookies out of the oven. When they cooled, he and Ruby each ate one and then put three on a plate next to a cold glass of strawberry milk. Frank read Ruby "The Night Before Christmas" like they did every Christmas. He sent her to bed and then soon followed. That night Ruby was too excited to sleep. At 12:00 a.m. she got out of bed, she decided to have a stakeout on the couch. When she got to the living room, she saw a large, dark figure crouching in front of the Christmas tree. She approached the dark figure slowly and tapped his shoulder. He turned around in shock, "I wasn't expecting you," Sassy Satan chuckled nervously, "Are you Santa?"

     "No no, child, I'm much worse..."

     When Frank woke up on Christmas morning, he had a sick feeling in his stomach. He knew something was wrong when Ruby didn't wake him up screaming "It's Christmas". He checked Ruby's room at the slight chance that he woke up before her, but just like he thought, no dice. In a bit of a frenzy, he checked the living room, but he wasn't expecting what he found next. He darted into the living room but stopped dead in his tracks. His Christmas tree was burnt to a crisp and right next to it was a horse that was made of bones. Frank could not believe his eyes, a horse made from bones that could breathe fire. His mind was racing at what would kidnap his daughter and leave a demonic horse that could potentially kill him. Was it angry loved one of his many victims? Was it a witch, or an alien? While pacing around the living room he noticed a note on one of the horse's ribs. It read:

     Dear Frankie,  

While I was delivering the horse to your daughter, Ruby, she woke up and we started talking. Turns out she is so adorable that I just had to keep her. So, long story short I am kidnapping your daughter, adopting her and raising her as my own. Enjoy the horse!

     ~Sassy Satan

     Fed-up with everything, Frank moves his dining room table and chairs. He got a bloody drop cloth and a paintbrush from his linen closet and went down to his basement. While down there, he pulls a small handle in one of the corners in the basement. A huge curtain opened reveling about 15 paint cans, all labeled ‘Totally Not Virgin Blood’. He picked one up from the floor and went back upstairs. He spread the drop cloth out on the floor and opened the paint can. Frank dipped the paintbrush in the "paint" and made a circle. And within that circle, he made a star. Frank began to pour gasoline along the outer rim of the pentagram. When Frank completed the circle, he took a match and lit the pentagram on fire. As the fire consumed the pentagram an elevator rose from beneath the ground and a gap in the ring of fire appeared, so Frank could enter the elevator.

     During Frank's elevator ride to Hell, he began to think about some scenarios that could potentially happen. He expected one of two things to happen 1) He would be tricked into spending eternity in Hell, or 2) He would have to fight a bunch of demons and the must fight Satan to get his daughter back. But as the elevator doors open, he finds the last thing he would expect. At a little plastic table, he spotted Sassy Satan, wearing a feather boa and serving fake tea to Ruby. They were having a tea party. At this point, Frank was just done with everything. Ruby soon noticed Frank walking up to the table and ran up to him and gave him a hug. Then she pulled him over to Sassy Satan, "Daddy, meet my new friend," she squealed "Hello Frank," Sassy Satan said as he stood up. "Can I have my kid back, please?"

     "Only if I can have your number,"

     "And that is the story of how we met," Frank added

     "Whoa, Sassy Satan is very suave with the ladies," Rafael said surprised, "I really am," he replied. The rest of the group was almost brought to tears by the beautiful story. For the rest of the day, the Gang and Ruby's parents were talking about wedding plans and when that Gang was going to have their next visit to Hell.

     They all lived happily ever after.

     The End?

[johnchiarello]

Sunday sermon

Sunday sermon  6-23-19

Luke 2:14

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Blog-  https://corpuschristioutreachministries.blogspot.com/

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 Sunday Sermon Videos-

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https://youtu.be/Wv7j9rIXdf8 

 Isaiah 55:10

For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

 ON VIDEO- [Went to Rock City church this Sunday and spoke on the verses that Pastor David preached on- Have a great Christmas day!]

.Frankie and the cigarette

.Tina’s Cross- the story

.She came back from the dead

.Gave me the Cross

.And went back

.Just Bee

.Jesus at 12

.The scholars were amazed at his questions

.They saw him again one day- when he flipped the tables of the money changers at the temple

.Did they remember it was the same boy about 18 years earlier?

.The Purse story- where did it come from?

.NYC Port Authority

.You cannot serve God and Money- Jesus Christ said this

  Note-

This day I attended Rock City Church- and spoke on some of the verses Pastor David taught on-

I also shared some recent experiences that I wanted to talk about.

 The verse that came to my mind earlier in the day was from Isaiah

 Isaiah 52:14

As many were astonied at thee; his visage was so marred more than any man, and his form more than the sons of men:

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

 As we celebrate the birth of Christ during this season- I simply meditated on the price that Jesus paid-

I thought of his miraculous birth- the signs surrounding his life- how his mother ‘pondered’ these strange events as he grew to adulthood-

 And then the 3 years of ministry that he embarked upon after his baptism by John.

How he truly fulfilled the prophecies about him- even the ones that spoke of his rejection from others-

Isaiah 53:3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Some in his day even thought he was mentally unstable-

 20Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat. 21When his familyb heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, “He is out of his mind.” Mark 3

 And even his closets friends doubted him at times-

 57 As the living Father hath sent me, and I live by the Father: so he that eateth me, even he shall live by me.

58 This is that bread which came down from heaven: not as your fathers did eat manna, and are dead: he that eateth of this bread shall live for ever.

59 These things said he in the synagogue, as he taught in Capernaum.

60 Many therefore of his disciples, when they had heard this, said, This is an hard saying; who can hear it?

 Then came the day he was born for- the day that had to be- in order for the promise to come to pass-

This promise-

Luke 2:14 [Full Chapter]

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

This peace came at a price- a heavy one indeed-

Isaiah 53:4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

Isaiah 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

The price for the peace- was paid for by the suffering of the Son-

A real suffering- a real rejection from his father when he hung on the Cross for our sins-

 Matthew 27:46

And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

  His willing obedience to be bruised for us- pleased God-

Isaiah 53:10 Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in his hand.

At this season we rejoice in the good news that we can now have peace because Jesus was born-

But it was in his obedience to a cruel death that accomplished the mission-

 Philippians 2:8

And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.

 This great peace- came at a heavy cost indeed- he himself is that peace-

 Ephesians 2:14

King James Version (KJV)

14 For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us;

Amen

Other Videos [More teaching below]

God of the living  https://youtu.be/fC4aEuHMrMw

Eat the bread  https://youtu.be/F9phY7iTJms

The Alamo  https://1drv.ms/v/s!Aocp2PkNEAGMhV4AhfBJkd79SqX0

Homeless  https://drive.google.com/file/d/1dmjCDsCxfjCd9iPq9F1iS-2Eb3Ll-e3M/view?usp=sharing

Obadiah  https://www.dropbox.com/s/25vgfbcesq9hyua/10-25-16%20Obadiah.mp4?dl=0

Bethlehem Christians  https://flic.kr/p/2g9eW7X

NYC  https://www.instagram.com/tv/BwRhwXOngXg/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet

12-30-18  Sunday sermon  https://1drv.ms/v/s!Aocp2PkNEAGMikDBK_ojwYY4GOqs

Ephesians 2  https://www.dropbox.com/s/dcterll6r8stc28/12-9-17%20Ephesians%202.mp4?dl=0

Battle is the Lord’s  https://1drv.ms/v/s!Aocp2PkNEAGMggOQK53L2lhrcyNE

Story of scripture  https://drive.google.com/file/d/11g_U5PuGzIaCSTW-we2ojuqrbotNh7Jt/view?usp=sharing

The Word endures  https://www.dropbox.com/s/v4o78vuxm9t4aj1/10-23-18%20The%20Word%20endures-%20a%20story%20about%20Elias-%20Gabriel%20n%20Furman-%20father%20n%20son.mp4?dl=0

1 day at a time  https://dai.ly/x76bhu1

Empire st. Bldg.  https://www.bitchute.com/video/LsLhMhccWUHb/

Isaiah 11   https://youtu.be/Ju-Rtsahjwc

Pops  https://1drv.ms/v/s!Aocp2PkNEAGMhV2pXsxY_b4YI750

Ephesians 1  https://www.dropbox.com/s/uve5l1dh546zxcp/11-21-17%20Ephesians-%20Intro-%20chapter%201.mp4?dl=0

The keys  https://1drv.ms/v/s!Aocp2PkNEAGMghOfbWlMjvR_4_GV

Mark 4  https://drive.google.com/file/d/1IngmQv7VNE4Rp_AcNd0SVRrvJ6WfMKKg/view?usp=sharing

Anti christ  https://www.dropbox.com/s/lh23p97mbfzx4og/10-23-16%20anti-christ%20%5B2nd-3rd%20jn.%5D.mp4?dl=0

Acts 25  https://flic.kr/p/2g8Aunz

Teaching with Henry  https://d.tube/v/ccoutreach/biajftkk

12-23-18  Sunday sermon  https://1drv.ms/v/s!Aocp2PkNEAGMiAorylDLvJ2sh_Nz

Galatians 6  https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yO3UOIO0Zhqmd71Jd0jy-Y9Mnh6OvUV2/view?usp=sharing

Samuel 29-30  https://youtu.be/YVFtxrOUtvg

The table  https://1drv.ms/v/s!Aocp2PkNEAGMghK5EFHhKzy1lh8I

North Bergen https://drive.google.com/file/d/1jKdY9DAel8dSoJR8yweKiBw3N1tQ4Y9p/view?usp=sharing

10-22-17 Sunday sermon  https://www.dropbox.com/s/nmfj5rte16qi47h/10-22-17%20Sunday%20Sermon.mp4?dl=0

Transcendence  https://d.tube/v/ccoutreach/tzina6xo

Acts 2  https://flic.kr/p/2g7Zibn

You can’t serve God and money  https://1drv.ms/v/s!Aocp2PkNEAGMil_TsnyT9-bp0pFy

Galatians 5  https://drive.google.com/file/d/1lwmPSpW7_C7hFm8db3ATHRmqQfm1tJEb/view?usp=sharing

  PAST POSTS- [Past teachings that relate]

https://ccoutreach87.com/romans-updated-2015/

https://ccoutreach87.com/hebrews-updated-2015/

https://ccoutreach87.com/john-complete-links-added/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/12/13/ephesians-2/ 

https://ccoutreach87.com/house-of-prayer-or-den-of-thieves/ 

John 12

POSTED BY CCOUTREACH87 ⋅ AUGUST 13, 2016 ⋅ LEAVE A COMMENT

JOHN 12- Psalm 81:3 Blow up the trumpet in the new moon, in the time appointed, on our solemn feast day. https://youtu.be/iImxoD3cRfQ Update [Heb. 7] https://youtu.be/Kr88cCjY-Hc John 12 [Heb.6] https://ccoutreach87.files.wordpress.com/2016/08/8-11-16-john-12-heb-6.zip ONVIDEO [update- Heb. 7] .Clinton pay for play .Assange- Snowden- NSA .Feds report on Baltimore cops .Sandra Bland cops admitted they did not check on her- she hung herself. .They admitted they faked the police reports .They both got hired at another police dept. – no penalty at all .Samuel 15- and Hebrews 7 .Turkey- NATO. .The U.S. will soon pull out of Syria- Turkey believes we were behind the coup- why? .Correction on Trump statement .Taliban resurgence ON VIDEO [John 12- Heb. 6] .Process precedes promotion .New Testament in context .He didn’t care for the poor .Let’s kill him too! .Crucifixion is glory .How to fulfill your calling .Rain maker .It’s not a crack pipe

NEW STUFF- [my links- verses below] In the last chapter Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. Now he goes to have a meal with the family. The bible says Lazarus sat at the table with Jesus. I read a psalm the other day [81] and it reminded me of us being at ‘the table’ with Jesus Psalm 81:3 Blow up the trumpet in the new moon, in the time appointed, on our solemn feast day. Now- as they sit and eat- Mary pours expensive perfume on Jesus- it fills the house with the sweet smell. One of the disciples says ‘hey- what a waste- we could have sold it and used it for the poor’. Jesus rebukes him ‘you always have the poor with you- but I will not be here too much longer’. John 12:4 Then saith one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, which should betray him, John 12:5 Why was not this ointment sold for three hundred pence, and given to the poor? John 12:6 This he said, not that he cared for the poor; but because he was a thief, and had the bag, and bare what was put therein.

Jesus said this to Judas- because he held the money ‘for the poor’ and was stealing it- for his own use.

Yet- I find it interesting- Jesus did not expose him. He simply said it in a way that would let Judas know- that he knew. Jesus then enters into a great trial- he says things like ‘should I ask God to save me from this hour- no- this is the whole reason I am here’. He’s preparing for the Cross- and it will entail him being separated from God- in a way that he never experienced before. Jesus was always with the Father- from all eternity. For him to be forsaken of God for our sins- was an experience that he never knew before. Isaiah 53:4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. Isaiah 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him. 2nd Cor.

And that was the test- he was not afraid to die- but he would have the wrath of God come on him as he hung on the Cross. He would experience the price for the sins of the world. And yet- even though this was his Divine destiny- the struggle was there. Often times in our lives- we ask for God to use us- we want to fulfill our mission. But then the day of the Cross appears- the things that are often hard to carry. Jesus warned us to ‘hate our life’ in this world- to be ready to enter into to the true purpose of the Father- and at that point- to embrace the Cross. John 12:27 Now is my soul troubled; and what shall I say? Father, save me from this hour: but for this cause came I unto this hour.

Because it will be thru that actual experience- that God’s purpose will come forth. He tells his men ‘walk while you have the light- because when darkness comes- no man can walk then’. God gives us ‘light’ he opens doors of opportunity thru out our journey- and it’s at those moments that you must embrace them. As I have been teaching on the book of Samuel- the big rebuke that Saul often gets is ‘you are not obeying God’s voice’. We read the same in the book of Hebrews ‘if you hear his voice this day- then you must believe’. Saul- like many of us- was willing to engage in religious ritual [I saved the sheep- because I thought we could use them for the religious ritual]. Yet God wants obedience- to listen to him when he speaks- more than us just doing ‘ministry’. So Jesus tells us- walk while you have that light- that Divine direction. John 12:35 Then Jesus said unto them, Yet a little while is the light with you. Walk while ye have the light, lest darkness come upon you: for he that walketh in darkness knoweth not whither he goeth. John 12:36 While ye have light, believe in the light, that ye may be the children of light. These things spake Jesus, and departed, and did hide himself from them.

Because if you miss the door- the ‘window of opportunity’ it might be a very long time- if ever- when you get another chance to ‘just do it’. At the end of the chapter Jesus says he spoke only the things that the Father showed to him. John 12:49 For I have not spoken of myself; but the Father which sent me, he gave me a commandment, what I should say, and what I should speak. John 12:50 And I know that his commandment is life everlasting: whatsoever I speak therefore, even as the Father said unto me, so I speak.

He exemplified what he just taught. The importance of hearing God- and acting daily on that. In the Lord’s prayer- he taught us how to ask for daily bread. How the important thing is to act in obedience on a daily basis- when we hear his voice ‘today’ we must not harden our heart. We must not think ‘well- today God has told me to do this- or to avoid this’. But I will be doing ‘ministry’ tomorrow- and I think I will do ‘my thing’ today. No- that’s the trap. Saul thought he would save the sheep- and use them for an offering to God.

But God told Saul to destroy- everything. The prophet Samuel rebuked him ‘to obey is better than sacrifice’. 1Samuel 15:22 And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.

Jesus was telling us the same thing.

MY LINKS- https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/hebrews-updated-2015/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/1st-2nd-samuel/ [Old commentary I wrote years ago] VIDEO/POST LINKS- https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/06/24/every-cop-a-criminal/ [1-2 Samuel] https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/06/28/when-the-saints-go-marching-in-sam-3-john-2-4/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/06/29/just-a-box-samuel-4/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/07/03/would-you-be-isis/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/07/07/samuel-5-6/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/07/12/samuel-7-8/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/07/18/samuel-9/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/07/23/samuel-10/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/07/27/the-chapel/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/07/29/samuel-11-kings-n-priests/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/08/02/samuel-12-13/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/08/09/samuel-14/ https://youtu.be/iImxoD3cRfQ Samuel preview

https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/06/15/jesus-christ/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/06/17/father-abraham/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/06/21/the-flood/ John 3 https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/06/25/the-well-john-4/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/06/30/john-5/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/07/05/john-6/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/07/09/john-7/ https://ccoutreach87.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/8-10-15-john-14.zip https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/07/16/john-8/ https://youtu.be/f8VpxlYM_kU John 8- ‘who the Son sets free’ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/07/25/john-9/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/07/31/john-10/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/08/05/john-11-the-8th-sign/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/2016/08/10/i-found-a-verse/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/1st-2nd-corinthians/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/romans-updated-2015/ https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/christian-recovery-from-addiction-long-version/

VERSES- Psalm 81:1 Sing aloud unto God our strength: make a joyful noise unto the God of Jacob. Psalm 81:2 Take a psalm, and bring hither the timbrel, the pleasant harp with the psaltery. Psalm 81:3 Blow up the trumpet in the new moon, in the time appointed, on our solemn feast day. Psalm 81:4 For this was a statute for Israel, and a law of the God of Jacob. Psalm 81:5 This he ordained in Joseph for a testimony, when he went out through the land of Egypt: where I heard a language that I understood not. Isaiah 53:1 Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the LORD revealed? Isaiah 53:2 For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. Isaiah 53:3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Isaiah 53:4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. Isaiah 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. Isaiah 53:6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. Isaiah 53:7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth. Isaiah 53:8 He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken. Isaiah 53:9 And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth. Isaiah 53:10 Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in his hand. Isaiah 53:11 He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities. Isaiah 53:12 Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors. John 12:1 Then Jesus six days before the passover came to Bethany, where Lazarus was, which had been dead, whom he raised from the dead. John 12:2 There they made him a supper; and Martha served: but Lazarus was one of them that sat at the table with him. John 12:3 Then took Mary a pound of ointment of spikenard, very costly, and anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped his feet with her hair: and the house was filled with the odour of the ointment. John 12:4 Then saith one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, which should betray him, John 12:5 Why was not this ointment sold for three hundred pence, and given to the poor? John 12:6 This he said, not that he cared for the poor; but because he was a thief, and had the bag, and bare what was put therein. John 12:7 Then said Jesus, Let her alone: against the day of my burying hath she kept this. John 12:8 For the poor always ye have with you; but me ye have not always. John 12:9 Much people of the Jews therefore knew that he was there: and they came not for Jesus’ sake only, but that they might see Lazarus also, whom he had raised from the dead. John 12:10 But the chief priests consulted that they might put Lazarus also to death; John 12:11 Because that by reason of him many of the Jews went away, and believed on Jesus. John 12:12 On the next day much people that were come to the feast, when they heard that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem, John 12:13 Took branches of palm trees, and went forth to meet him, and cried, Hosanna: Blessed is the King of Israel that cometh in the name of the Lord. John 12:14 And Jesus, when he had found a young ass, sat thereon; as it is written, John 12:15 Fear not, daughter of Sion: behold, thy King cometh, sitting on an ass’s colt. John 12:16 These things understood not his disciples at the first: but when Jesus was glorified, then remembered they that these things were written of him, and that they had done these things unto him. John 12:17 The people therefore that was with him when he called Lazarus out of his grave, and raised him from the dead, bare record. John 12:18 For this cause the people also met him, for that they heard that he had done this miracle. John 12:19 The Pharisees therefore said among themselves, Perceive ye how ye prevail nothing? behold, the world is gone after him. John 12:20 And there were certain Greeks among them that came up to worship at the feast: John 12:21 The same came therefore to Philip, which was of Bethsaida of Galilee, and desired him, saying, Sir, we would see Jesus. John 12:22 Philip cometh and telleth Andrew: and again Andrew and Philip tell Jesus. John 12:23 And Jesus answered them, saying, The hour is come, that the Son of man should be glorified. John 12:24 Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. John 12:25 He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal. John 12:26 If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honour. John 12:27 Now is my soul troubled; and what shall I say? Father, save me from this hour: but for this cause came I unto this hour. John 12:28 Father, glorify thy name. Then came there a voice from heaven, saying, I have both glorified it, and will glorify it again. John 12:29 The people therefore, that stood by, and heard it, said that it thundered: others said, An angel spake to him. John 12:30 Jesus answered and said, This voice came not because of me, but for your sakes. John 12:31 Now is the judgment of this world: now shall the prince of this world be cast out. John 12:32 And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me. John 12:33 This he said, signifying what death he should die. John 12:34 The people answered him, We have heard out of the law that Christ abideth for ever: and how sayest thou, The Son of man must be lifted up? who is this Son of man? John 12:35 Then Jesus said unto them, Yet a little while is the light with you. Walk while ye have the light, lest darkness come upon you: for he that walketh in darkness knoweth not whither he goeth. John 12:36 While ye have light, believe in the light, that ye may be the children of light. These things spake Jesus, and departed, and did hide himself from them. John 12:37 But though he had done so many miracles before them, yet they believed not on him: John 12:38 That the saying of Esaias the prophet might be fulfilled, which he spake, Lord, who hath believed our report? and to whom hath the arm of the Lord been revealed? John 12:39 Therefore they could not believe, because that Esaias said again, John 12:40 He hath blinded their eyes, and hardened their heart; that they should not see with their eyes, nor understand with their heart, and be converted, and I should heal them. John 12:41 These things said Esaias, when he saw his glory, and spake of him. John 12:42 Nevertheless among the chief rulers also many believed on him; but because of the Pharisees they did not confess him, lest they should be put out of the synagogue: John 12:43 For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God. John 12:44 Jesus cried and said, He that believeth on me, believeth not on me, but on him that sent me. John 12:45 And he that seeth me seeth him that sent me. John 12:46 I am come a light into the world, that whosoever believeth on me should not abide in darkness. John 12:47 And if any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world. John 12:48 He that rejecteth me, and receiveth not my words, hath one that judgeth him: the word that I have spoken, the same shall judge him in the last day. John 12:49 For I have not spoken of myself; but the Father which sent me, he gave me a commandment, what I should say, and what I should speak. John 12:50 And I know that his commandment is life everlasting: whatsoever I speak therefore, even as the Father said unto me, so I speak. 1Corinthians 13:1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 1Corinthians 13:2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. 1Corinthians 13:3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. 1Corinthians 13:4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 1Corinthians 13:5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 1Corinthians 13:6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 1Corinthians 13:7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 1Corinthians 13:8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. 1Corinthians 13:9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. 1Corinthians 13:10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. 1Corinthians 13:11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 1Corinthians 13:12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. 1Corinthians 13:13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

http://www.corpuschristioutreachministries.blogspot.com facebook.com/john.chiarello.5 https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZ4GsqTEVWRm0HxQTLsifvg

 (565)  John 3[radio # 586]- Nicodemus comes secretly to Jesus, he is one of the few in leadership that is having doubts. The others with one voice reject Jesus, Nicodemus is wondering. Jesus rebukes him for being a ‘ruler’ of the Jews and not being able to comprehend the most basic stuff. I have found it disheartening over the years to talk with Pastors who heard someone teach that because Jesus had an expensive coat, that he must have been rich. Despite all the evidence in the New Testament how Jesus was the son of a carpenter and lived an average life. The tons of verses where Jesus is reproving rich people. The whole historical and biblical truth of Jesus being a man of humble means. The fact that he had an expensive coat can more than likely be explained by the custom of people doing extravagant acts of worship towards him. The woman and the expensive perfume poured on him. Things like this. Someone probably gave him the coat. But for Pastors, who are good men, to fall for this stuff was unbelievable. Sort of like Jesus telling Nicodemus ‘you are a leader and can’t discern the most basic stuff’! Jesus teaches the reality of the new birth. All people must be born of God thru belief in Jesus, or they will not be saved. We must stand strong for Jesus as the only way to God. John the Baptist will be told that all men are going to Jesus. John says ‘great, he must increase and I must decrease’ John understood that the role of leadership [prophets] was to point to the fame and persona of Jesus. Not to go down the common road of pointing people towards us. In modern ministry we draw people to our gifts and abilities. We structure modern churches around the gift of the Pastor. We allow leadership to become preeminent in our minds and thoughts. John knew better. We also see that the wrath of God abides on all who do not believe in Jesus. If you believe in Jesus you escape Gods wrath. It can’t touch you. Whether you are in heaven or earth, or like David said ‘in hell you are there’. That is you can’t escape Gods presence anywhere. So if you are in Christ, wrath can’t get you. If you are not in Christ, it continually abides on you. You do not escape wrath by leaving the planet during the tribulation. If an unbeliever was on a rocket ship right before the tribulation started, and wound up on the moon during the 7 years of wrath, he wouldn’t escape Gods wrath. You don’t escape judgment by being in the right geographical location, you escape it by being IN HIM! John also says a man can receive nothing unless it is given to him. Why be jealous if all of our gifts and abilities are free gifts? We act like we earned them! John says no man receives his testimony, then he says ‘to those who have received it’. What’s this mean? Paul told the Corinthians that we have received the Spirit of God so we might know the things that are freely given to us from God. God gives us his Spirit first, so we can receive his testimony. This goes back to the early centuries of the church and hits all the major doctrines on sovereignty. Augustine, Calvin, Luther [Yes Luther was a strong believer in predestination, it was no accident that he was an Augustinian monk!] Paul tells the Ephesians that were are dead in sins and completely incapable of receiving spiritual truth until God pours his Spirit into us and we become alive. Thank God that even though no man [in the natural] can receive his testimony, that God gives us his Spirit and births us so we can know the things that he has freely given to us in Christ!

HEBREWS 4-6 [Just made the video- so today you get ‘real time’- P.S.- to my kids- the carnival looks good- maybe we will go today? Text me- dad.]

CHAPTER 4:

NEW NOTES BELOW-

.SABBATH REST

 ‘Let us therefore fear [Jews in the first century, not Christians in the 21st century! At least in this context] lest a promise being left us of entering into his rest [now defined as the New Covenant rest. Paul is telling Israel God has left you a promise of rest in Messiah, where you will cease from your own works [law], beware Israel, our forefathers missed out on the promise because of unbelief, don’t do the same!] any of you should come short of it, for unto us was the gospel preached [1st century Israel] as well as unto them [Israel at the edge of entering the promised land had the gospel [good news] preached to them by Joshua and Caleb, they gave the ‘good report’ that the land was great and it was there for the taking, of course they didn’t believe and therefore couldn’t take it] but the word did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it.

 For WE WHICH HAVE BELEIVED [the remnant of Jews who were believing in the first century were entering into the rest of the New Covenant of grace, they left off trying to be made righteous by the law, they ceased from their own works] do enter into rest…for he spake in a certain place of the 7th day on this wise, and God did rest the 7th day from all his works, and again, if they shall enter into my rest. Seeing therefore it still remains that some must enter therein, and they to whom it was first preached entered not in because of unbelief: again he limits a certain day in David [Psalms] today if you will HEAR HIS VOICE [as opposed to the voice of the law/Moses] harden not your hearts. For if Joshua [my king James says ‘Jesus’ this is because the translation is the same] had given them rest then he would not have spoken of another day, there remaineth therefore a rest TO THE PEOPLE OF GOD! [Jewish people ‘of God’ not gentile converts!]. Well, we covered a lot here. Paul takes the creation account, the verses that will later speak of a future rest for Gods people, and then a verse from Psalms where David prophesies that there still remains a future rest. He puts them all together to show Israel that God has ordained a future ‘7th day’ for his people to enter into. He uses the 7th day as a symbol of Gods ‘day of Grace and rest’.

 He then shows Israel that it really wasn’t speaking of the rest of the Promised Land after all, because eventually Israel did inherit it, but yet David still spoke of it in the future tense. So Paul concludes that the future rest of the 7th day that ‘Gods people’ [Jews] still must enter is the offer of grace to the 1st century Jew. Wow! This is why some theologians feel Paul was a little too loose with the scriptures. I think this stuff is great! Paul basically was using all of his understanding as a first century theologian [Pharisee] and was absolutely proving Christ to Israel in a way that none of the other Apostles could do. He was the only Pharisee out of all the Apostles, one born out of due time. This is obviously why Jesus chose him. It is so important to see the connections that Paul is making here. If Israel were following the timeline that Paul is giving, they will see that their own Old Testament scriptures testify that there was a future ‘place of rest’ that would be offered to them as a nation.

 And Paul also shows that in history, Israel had a pattern of not entering into ‘this rest’ because of unbelief. And then he says ‘but the rest that Joshua finally did give them [the promised land] wasn’t really the true rest after all, because David still spoke of it in a future tense’ then he says ‘see, there remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God’. Seeing this in context clears up many wrong interpretations of these passages. You can still read Hebrews as a Christian and get wonderful principles, but you must see it in context to truly understand what its saying. ‘For he that hath entered into rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his’ amazing, Paul says just like God ceased from creative activity on the ‘7th day’ so likewise when we enter into the covenant of grace, we too will cease from the works of the law. This is so significant to the Jewish community whom Paul is addressing. He is showing them, in their language [Old Testament] the same things he writes to the gentiles in Galatians and Romans.

 He is using the story of Genesis to show the truth of grace. Out of all the Apostles, Paul is unique in his ability to see Jesus in all of these Old Testament stories. No one could have made a better apologetic for the Christian faith than Paul. ‘Let us labor therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall into the same example of unbelief’ Now, I have heard it taught that this is telling Christians to ‘work for your rest’. This would be a complete contradiction to this entire letter. But if you see this in context, that the recipients of this letter are 1st century Jews who are already under the bondage of the law, then you read this as ‘those of you Jews who are always working to try and make yourselves righteous, you need to stop working for this, but instead let all your labors and struggles end up at the Cross’ in essence ‘labor [struggle] to see these things I am showing you, and if you do you will find rest’ in the New Covenant of grace! ‘Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession, for we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities, but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.’ This of course applies to all of us. Paul and other New Testament writers saw redemption in a way that naturally included everybody. It was only those who rejected it thru unbelief that were missing out. This is why you will see statements made like ‘Jesus is the savior of all men, specially of those that believe’ there was a real sense in the early church that Jesus really redeemed everybody.

 They were not preaching universal salvation in the sense that everybody will be saved. But the gospel was presented in a way that simply included everybody. So here Paul says ‘we have a high priest’ he is including Israel in the ‘we’. I also like to apply these verses to all of us. How many times do we feel intimidated to come before Gods throne? We feel unworthy and God seems unapproachable. Sort of like Saint John of the Cross who experienced the ‘dark night of the soul’ as well as Mother Theresa. There are times where believers feel separated from God’s real presence. It is during these times when God says ‘come boldly, I too have experienced weakness and separation thru the incarnation. I know what it is like. Come to me, I can see what you feel like, I can feel your feelings of weakness and inadequacy, come to me for help my child’. In the next chapter we will read this in depth. Jesus and all the high priests of the law were able to identify with man because they were at one time in mans shoes. This is one of the great realities of the incarnation.

NEW NOTES-

.SABBATH REST

 Remember context- in this chapter the writer is appealing to his Jewish brothers.

And he reminds them of their own history- he says ‘just like our forefathers died in the wilderness- because they did not BELIEVE’-

So beware- if you now reject this new offer of REST- it will be because of UNBELIEF.

The writer is making an argument for Justification by Faith here.

He spiritualizes the promise of the Promised Land- and the story of Creation and Sabbath Day.

He says ‘ok- God RESTED himself on the 7th Day of Creation’.

This REST [a type of rest found in Christ and the New Covenant- based on Faith/Grace- NOT WORKS -The law].

Was not the Rest promised to Israel when they entered the Promised Land.

Why?

Because King David says many years later- in Psalms 95- that a Rest is still in the future.

What Rest?

The 1st century offer of Grace- thru Faith- not works.

See how important context is?

So- when he says ‘there still remains a REST TO THE PEOPLE OF GOD’- He is not talking to Christians- as this verse is often seen.

No- in the letter of Hebrews- the People of God are the Jewish nation- who now must ‘labor- work- strive’ to believe the Promise of Messiah- and enter into rest.

These verses only make sense in this context.

Preachers often teach the verse ‘strive to enter into rest- people of God’.

And apply that to Christians- who are already ‘in rest’.

No- that’s the wrong setting for these verses.

But- to the 1st century Jew- under the law- then it makes sense.

They were at a transition stage- they were still under the law [works] and they had to beware- because this present promise of grace- just like the Old Testament Promise of entering into the Promised Land- is based on faith.

So- when the writer says ‘if you strive- and hear this Gospel of Grace- you can enter into the Sabbath Day Rest’ [a symbol of the covenant of Grace].

And have Rest.

See?

NOTE- It’s not an ‘accident’ that the writer quotes from Psalms 95- written by Kind David.

Jesus is identified as ‘The Son of David’ so it’s thru the Davidic line that the promise of Rest would ultimately be fulfilled.

In a sense the writer is saying ‘The Joshua that lead our Fathers into the Promised Land was not the Real One- but the Joshua of the New Testament [Jesus and Joshua are the same word in the Hebrew/Greek English translation] has now come thru the Line of David- and he will lead us into the True Rest- if you Believe’

Psalm 95:6 O come, let us worship and bow down: let us kneel before the LORD our maker.

Psalm 95:7 For he is our God; and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand. To day if ye will hear his voice,

Psalm 95:8 Harden not your heart, as in the provocation, and as in the day of temptation in the wilderness:

Psalm 95:9 When your fathers tempted me, proved me, and saw my work.

Psalm 95:10 Forty years long was I grieved with this generation, and said, It is a people that do err in their heart, and they have not known my ways:

Psalm 95:11 Unto whom I sware in my wrath that they should not enter into my rest.

Genesis 2:1 Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them.

Genesis 2:2 And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.

Genesis 2:3 And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made.

Hebrews 4:1 Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it.

Hebrews 4:2 For unto us was the gospel preached, as well as unto them: but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it.

Hebrews 4:3 For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said, As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.

Hebrews 4:4 For he spake in a certain place of the seventh day on this wise, And God did rest the seventh day from all his works.

Hebrews 4:5 And in this place again, If they shall enter into my rest.

Hebrews 4:6 Seeing therefore it remaineth that some must enter therein, and they to whom it was first preached entered not in because of unbelief:

Hebrews 4:7 Again, he limiteth a certain day, saying in David, To day, after so long a time; as it is said, To day if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts.

Hebrews 4:8 For if Jesus had given them rest, then would he not afterward have spoken of another day.

Hebrews 4:9 There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God.

Hebrews 4:10 For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his.

Hebrews 4:11 Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief.

.

CHAPTER 12:

END NOTES-

A HEAVENLY CITY.

DON’T BE SAD, HE’S TREATING YOU LIKE A SON.

NO REPENTANCE- OUTSIDE OF CHRIST THAT IS.

CULTURE SHOCK IS HARD ON US ALL.

 ‘Wherefore seeing we are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses [all the heroes of the last chapter!] let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us’ a few practical things. Paul compares the journey to a marathon, not a sprint! The patient runner who paces himself will receive a reward. The sprinter will look good at the start, but you never see him again! I have been blessed by so many gifted people over the years. Some who were on radio, or were doing some type of ministry for the Lord. The gifts and callings were truly on these people. A few years would go by and they were no where to be found. Where did they go? Some of them jumped on the latest ‘Christian movement’ [I am not against movements from God, I just feel we get enamored by them and give up on the main thing the Lord has called us to] some walked away from the Lord.

 I have come to realize that God will put certain things in you from the early days, things that he predestined for you to fulfill before you were born. These are the things that you should be faithful to. Don’t abandon the original calling, it’s still there! You can spend your whole life leaving one ‘track’ and ‘sprinting’ in another. But God wants you to stay on the original course and run it with patience. It might not seem as glamorous or exciting as the newest race in town, but at the end you will receive a reward. ‘Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him ENDURED the cross, despising the shame and is set down on the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him that ENDURED such contradiction of sinners…and ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh to you as children [remember what we said about this type of privileged language in Hebrews? It is speaking to Israel] my son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art REBUKED of him: for whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If you endure chastening, God dealeth with you as sons’.

 Now, for many years I read this just like you. That God was telling Christians that he disciplines them. True enough. But in context what is Paul saying here? He spent 11 chapters ‘reproving’ Israel. He told them that all the sacrifices and wonderful holidays and family traditions are no more. That Messiah has fulfilled it and you can’t keep doing it. Now, how would you feel if some know it all preacher came along and totally dismantled your whole way of worship? And you knew in your heart he was right! You would take offence. You would feel like you just got ‘chastened’ up and down and all over. Your initial reaction would be ‘this is too much correction in one letter, I am tired of reading it!’ so Paul is telling Israel ‘Don’t take all this reproof the wrong way, Gods intent is to get you to move on with the program. He loves you guys; don’t forget that scripture [Old Testament] says ‘who God loves he chastens’ hey, God is just dealing with you as children who he loves’ get it? ‘We have had fathers of the flesh that corrected us…shall we not much rather be in subjection to the father of spirits and live?’ Paul is saying ‘you guys want to live [eternal life] then you need to submit to the correction the father is giving you’.

 ‘For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure, but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness’ Now, God does chasten believers for the purpose of holiness. Scripture says ‘those who have suffered in the flesh have ceased from sin, that they should no longer spend the rest of their days in the flesh pursuing the desires of the flesh, but the will of God’ ‘before I was afflicted I went astray, but after I kept thy word’ ‘thou in faithfulness hath afflicted me’ ‘though he were a son yet learned he obedience from the things he suffered’ ‘the captain of our salvation was made perfect thru suffering’ [the last 2 are in this letter, the others are some where in scripture, I just quoted them off the top of my head. As you can see I have some familiarity with this subject! Ouch] In context Paul is saying to Israel ‘you have tried to attain holiness thru legalistic means, by keeping the law [Romans 9-the last few verses] but until you submit to Gods chastening, and have faith in God, you will not truly have his ‘holiness’ [righteousness].

 So God is disciplining them thru this letter so they will ‘believe and become righteous’ as opposed to staying in the old system of law. ‘Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous [old brother Paul, he sure knew how to understate things!] nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of RIGHTEOUSNESS to them that are exercised [or exorcised! Just kidding, but it can feel like this at times] thereby. Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down…and make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame [broken] be turned out of the way, but let it rather be healed’ David said ‘restore to me the joy of your salvation that the bones which YOU HAVE BROKEN may rejoice’ The danger of chastening [both for Christians and Israel] is that we get so broken that we never fully recover. Paul is telling Israel ‘I know it’s been hard on you guys to hear so much rebuke. Don’t walk away totally discouraged. There is a danger that you might respond to Gods correction the wrong way. Lift up your hands, shake off the depression, and let yourselves be healed. God wants to restore you!’

 ‘Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright. For you know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for HE FOUND NO PLACE OF REPENTANCE though he sought it carefully with tears’. This is another reason why reading Hebrews in context is important. One of the themes of this letter is ‘if you miss out on it now, you can’t repent later!’[Chapter 6]. We know that Pauls other letters to the churches leave open future repentance for those who have sinned. In Paul’s letters to the Corinthians we see this being done. But in Hebrews the idea is ‘if you pass on the Cross, you can not find repentance thru any other means. There is no other place for repentance’. So this is the reason why Hebrews has this theme of ‘no future repentance’ thru out the letter. Paul is certainly not telling Israel that if they decide to repent and accept Christ at a future date, they can’t! But he is saying ‘if you pass over this sacrifice of Christ, all the other ‘sacrifices’ and means of repentance that are contained in the law will have no future effect, remember Esau!’

 ‘For ye are not come unto the mount that might be touched…but ye are come to Mount Sion, and unto the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem [the church]…and to the blood of sprinkling that speaketh better things than that of Able’ Here Paul comes back to a ‘scarlet thread’ that runs thru out this letter. He says ‘hey, you think the first covenant was a fearful thing, watch out! If you disregard this covenant [Jesus blood] then you have gone against something that is much greater than the law’. Also the ‘blood of Able’ cried out from the ground for vengeance, the blood of Jesus cries out from heaven for mercy and forgiveness! It ‘speaks’ better things than that of Able! ‘See that ye refuse not him that speaketh. For if they escaped not who refused him that spake on earth [Moses and the law] much more shall not we escape, if we turn away from him which speaketh from heaven’ again Paul repeats themes he hit on earlier in this letter. He says ‘Moses spoke Gods Word [law] to you from an earthly mountain and place, you are come to a heavenly mountain [Sion-spiritual Jerusalem] and Jesus is speaking to you from heaven. This is much more strict than he who spoke from earth’.

 ‘Wherefore we receiving a Kingdom that can not be moved, let us HAVE GRACE, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear: for our God is a consuming fire’ Though Paul doesn’t say it [I think he should have!] but this alludes to the ‘God’ of Moses day, who did not consume the burning bush, compared to the ‘God’ of today [new covenant] who will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire! This fits in with the theme of a harsher punishment for those who reject the covenant of grace as opposed to those who rejected the covenant of law. I know these themes are not popular, but this is clearly the way Paul is presenting them. I also am not saying the ‘God’ of the Old Testament is different from the ‘God’ of the new [this is the heresy of Marcion! I think that was his name. He was an early Christian heretic who comprised the first canon of scripture for a ‘new testament’ it included basically Paul’s letters, and he taught that The God of the new testament was different from the God in the old] but Paul is presenting the new covenant in a way that says ‘don’t neglect this new way of salvation, those who do will receive a harsher judgment than those who rejected the law’.

END NOTES-

A HEAVENLY CITY.

DON’T BE SAD, HE’S TREATING YOU LIKE A SON.

NO REPENTANCE- OUTSIDE OF CHRIST THAT IS.

CULTURE SHOCK IS HARD ON US ALL.

Once again we see the contrast between ‘he that spoke from earth’ [Moses- the law]- and he that ‘speaks from heaven’ [Jesus covenant is more strict- to those outside of it and reject it- because he has heavenly authority- Moses had earthly]. Hebrews 12:25 See that ye refuse not him that speaketh. For if they escaped not who refused him that spake on earth, much more shall not we escape, if we turn away from him that speaketh from heaven:

 The writer says ‘don’t be sad- God disciplines every son who he receives’- though this certainly applies to Christians- Hebrews 12:5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:

Hebrews 12:6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

Hebrews 12:7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?

Hebrews 12:8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

 Remember this- though the message of grace and Jesus as the Messiah is wonderful- especially to us Gentile believers-

Yet- it was indeed a cultural shock to the 1st century Jew-

Why?

Even though Jesus was the fulfillment of the prophets- yet in order for the Jewish person to accept this [Like the apostle Paul]

He had to accept a real cultural change in the religion he practiced from his youth-

He was being asked to stop the animal sacrifices- to ‘move on’ from the Law covenant- and to embrace Christ.

Now- in reality- it would be the fulfillment of all that was contained in the law- but it’s often hard for anyone to ‘move on’ from former religious practices that are embedded in his culture.

So- in context ‘Don’t be sad- God is disciplining you- showing you new stuff- and it’s tough for sure- but he does this with all the sons he receives’.

We also see the promise of the heavenly city- As opposed to the earthly one. Hebrews 12:22 But ye are come unto mount Sion, and unto the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to an innumerable company of angels,

Hebrews 12:23 To the general assembly and church of the firstborn, which are written in heaven, and to God the Judge of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect,

 The writer is speaking about the church- and how both Jew and Gentile are part of this spiritual community coming down from God out of heaven.

And again we see the warning- of no repentance- for those who keep sinning.

I stress that this is never taught to the Gentile churches- as a matter of fact the Apostle Paul wrote the Corinthians- about a sinning brother- sleeping with his father’s wife [his step mom].

And In the 2nd letter- this brother repented- and Paul exhorted the church to receive him back into fellowship.

But to the 1st century Jew- still not fully in the covenant- he says ‘Hebrews 12:17 For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.

In keeping with the theme of the letter- Jesus is now the only acceptable means of repentance- and if you reject him as the Messiah- and continue in sin- then yes- there is no repentance.

Revelation 21:2 And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.

Revelation 21:10 And he carried me away in the spirit to a great and high mountain, and shewed me that great city, the holy Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God,

Ephesians 2:18 For through him we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father.

Ephesians 2:19 Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God;

Ephesians 2:20 And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone;

Ephesians 2:21 In whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto an holy temple in the Lord:

Ephesians 2:22 In whom ye also are builded together for an habitation of God through the Spirit.

Galatians 4:26 But Jerusalem which is above is free, which is the mother of us all.

     VERSES- These are the verses I either quoted or taught on Today’s video- Sunday Sermon.

 Ephesians 3:15

Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Proverbs 30:5

Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Isaiah 2:3

And many people shall go and say, Come ye, and let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of Jacob; and he will teach us of his ways, and we will walk in his paths: for out of Zion shall go forth the law, and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Hebrews 12:1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

Hebrews 12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:3 For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.

Hebrews 12:4 Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.

Hebrews 12:5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:

Hebrews 12:6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

Hebrews 12:7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?

Hebrews 12:8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

Hebrews 12:9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

Hebrews 12:10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.

Hebrews 12:11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

Hebrews 12:12 Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;

Hebrews 12:13 And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.

Hebrews 12:14 Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:

Psalm 23:1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

Psalm 23:2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

Psalm 23:3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Psalm 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Psalm 23:5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Psalm 23:6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

  Isaiah 52:13 Behold, my servant shall deal prudently, he shall be exalted and extolled, and be very high.

Isaiah 52:14 As many were astonied at thee; his visage was so marred more than any man, and his form more than the sons of men:

Isaiah 52:15 So shall he sprinkle many nations; the kings shall shut their mouths at him: for that which had not been told them shall they see; and that which they had not heard shall they consider.

 Isaiah 53:1 Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the LORD revealed?

Isaiah 53:2 For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.

Isaiah 53:3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Isaiah 53:4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

Isaiah 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

Isaiah 53:6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.

Isaiah 53:7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth.

Isaiah 53:8 He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken.

Isaiah 53:9 And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth.

Isaiah 53:10 Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in his hand.

Isaiah 53:11 He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities.

Isaiah 53:12 Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.

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[freedom-shamrock]

The Chat Righting Reflex - Chapter Five

Also on AO3 Chp 1 - Kitty’s New Home    Chp 2 - Taking Care of Business Chp 3 - Hugs and Kisses   Chp 4 - A Well-Fed Chat Chp 5 - Chat in the Night    Chp 6 - Here With You Chp 7 - The Adventures of Mr. Stainless and the Muffin Maiden Chp 8 - New Normal         Chp 9 - Caretaker Kitty Chp 10 - More Normal   Chp 11 - Everyday Miracles Chp 12 - Family by Design     Chp 13 - Contented Chat

This is the @miraculousfluffmonth  prompt #8, late nights

Chat in the Night

Adrien thought he'd spend the night alone in his apartment.  While he loved Marinette to pieces, he thought it would be good to give her a little time to herself while he settled in to just being himself.  It started out nice enough. He'd come home alone from yet another warm and inviting dinner with Marinette's family. He went through his books, finally getting them shelved while his stereo played soothing classical music.  The window fan in the living room hummed pleasantly in the background.

Feeling good about accomplishing the task, he sat down for a snack of cookies and milk.  He savored the treats, the first ones he'd made without any help or intervention, smiling happily over that success.  When he was done, he pulled out the list he and his therapist had come up with to help him with the transition. She'd been keen on making sure he paced himself as he worked through the tasks that would get him true independence.

The big things were all done.  The apartment, the move, and protecting his finances.  He needed to talk to his lawyer in the next few days, just to touch bases.  The paperwork severing his contract with Gabriel should be sitting on the ridiculous oak desk in the same in basket as Adrien's old phone by the time Gabriel returned from London.  He still needed to get the rest of his kitchen set up, and internet needed to be a thing. He didn't want to do everything from his phone. It was nice to see how many things were crossed off the list.  The remaining ones didn't seem so intimidating anymore.

He should probably start trying to establish some sort of pattern or schedule.  While he was nearly deliriously excited to be free of the oppressive calendar of his former life, he recognized the value in stability.  He didn't want to go from overscheduled to schedule free, the idea sounded terrifying. Being in control of his own plans, deciding what he wanted to do, and what he didn't, was exciting.  He'd also need to start picking up work at some point in the next few weeks, so a stable sleeping pattern would be good, too.

He loved his new room. He knew his girlfriend wanted him to feel loved and at home, and he was so glad she'd surprised him with curtains and a comforter designed just for him.  They suited his tastes, unlike the stuff Gabriel allegedly made for him. Every time he stepped into the room, he got a little jolt of happiness.

"Hey Plagg, you need anything else?" he called, not entirely sure where his kwami was.  The tiny black cat hadn't selected favorite hang outs yet, though Mari and Tikki had worked to provide him with a couple of comfortable spaces in good tucked away spots.

"Hmmm, sleeping now."  The soft reply seemed to come from the little closet between the bedroom and bathroom.

"Okay.  Goodnight, buddy." He smiled.  Plagg had insisted they'd both be better out of the mansion, but he was glad his guide and partner was settling in.

In bed, Adrien relaxed to the sound of the window fan, muffling the noises of Paris at night.  He was comfortable and relaxed, but for some reason sleep felt like a distant thing. After tossing, turning, breathing exercises, and waiting failed to do anything for him, he noticed the first nibbles of anxiety at the edge of his mind.  Sighing, he reached across his bedside table and unplugged his phone. He stared at it for several minutes, contemplating the pros and cons of checking in with Mari.

Cons: she could be sleeping, she deserved a night off from his neediness, he was a grown up and shouldn't need help.  Ugh. Those made him feel guilty and awful about even thinking of calling her.

Pros: she loved him, she'd told him he could call any time, she wouldn't judge him, and she'd been trained for independence, while he hadn't.  She'd also be angry with him if she found out later that he chose not to reach out when he needed something.

Adrien: You awake?

Marinette: Yep.  You know me :)

Her response had been nearly instantaneous, and he wondered if she'd been expecting to hear from him.

Marinette: You need anything?

Adrien: Can't sleep.

He hesitated to add more.

Marinette: What can I do to help?

Adrien: I love you. <3

Marinette: <3 <3 <3

Marinette: Want some cuddles?

Adrien: Always.  Is it wrong to admit that?

Marinette: Nope.  Can I come over?

Adrien: Yeah.  I'd like that a lot.

Marinette: Be there in five.

He set his phone back on the table.  Was it bad that he wanted her to stay? That he wasn't ready to be alone tonight?  Before he had the chance to work himself up, there was a soft clunk on the fire escape outside his bedroom, followed by a gentle tap on the window.

Shoving himself out of bed, he opened the fabric screen he'd replaced the original screen with yesterday, ensuring quick and easy entry for when he didn't want to use the skylight.  "Hey," he said quietly.

Ladybug stepped gracefully into his room before detransforming in a shower of pink sparkles. "Are you okay?" Marinette asked.  TIkki zipped in to cuddle his cheek.

"You two are going to spoil me," he said, loving the affection.

"That's the plan!" Tikki said happily.  She pointed to the bedroom door. "I'm going to go find Plagg and snuggle him now."

"Linen closet," Adrien said.  "Top shelf, I think."

Marinette set a backpack next to the bed, then reached for his hands. "Are you okay?" She wore super cute summer PJs, pink shorts with mint green piping and a matching green spaghetti-strap top.

He nodded. "I was starting to let my anxiety get the upper hand, but I'm fine."

She frowned.  "Stupid anxiety. Treating my Kitty badly."  She stepped in and caressed his cheek with light fingers.  "What do you need?"

"Just you being here is nice."  He leaned in, drawn to her affection, to her gentle touches that left a trail of heat in their wake.

"Can I kiss you?" she asked, slipping her fingers into his hair.

"You don't have to ask," he murmured. He'd learned that was easier to just speak quietly once his purr kicked in.

"Normally, no," she agreed, rubbing her cheek against his. "But if there's any chance you're in distress, or upset, I'm going to ask in case it's not welcome."

He kissed her, flicking his tongue over her lips.  

She smiled against him, but broke away. "Come on Kitty. Let's go to bed. It's a good place to kiss and cuddle." Her voice was soft and sultry.

"It is," he agreed, desire curling in his belly. They hadn't had sex yet, despite her parents' teasing encouragement and their friends' less gentle nudges.

"And if you want to do more, I'm ready to try that." A dusting of pink spread over her cheeks.  "But I'm happy to wait if you're not ready for more."

He scooped her up and carried her to his bed, smiling at the giggle he'd startled out of her.  "I'd like that..." He knelt over her on his mattress. "But I haven't had a chance to get to a pharmacy."  When they'd talked about it last, they'd decided having two forms of birth control was in their best interests, so she'd gotten an IUD. Complications of living with his father had meant he had to be super careful about what could be found on him.  

She beamed up at him.  "Silly Kitty. Mama has you covered."  She giggled again. "Literally." She wriggled away from him to hang over the side of his bed for a moment.  He heard the zip of her backpack and she popped back up with a box of condoms. "She gave me one to keep by my bed, and one for yours."

He bit his lip, taking the box and firmly planting it on his bedside table.  "Is it okay that I'm totally torn between embarrassment and love for Mama Sabine?"

She nodded. "Totally fair. I was pretty mortified when she handed them to me, with that smile.  You know the one."

He did indeed.  Mischievous Mama Sabine was wicked.

"And she told me to have fun with you." Marinette rolled her eyes. "Right before mentioning that we shouldn't feel at all put out if it takes a bit of practice before we get good at it." She snickered, worming her way back under him.

"Oh my god," he muttered.  "I'm so glad I wasn't there for that."

"She'll wait until you're really settled in before she gets frank and naughty with you," Marinette said.  Her expression softened as she slipped her hands behind his neck. "Lie down, Kitty. I want to feel your weight on me again.”

Tagging:  @the-wheel-comes-full-circle

[alarriefantasy]

Hey! Was wondering if you could make more blogger larry fics?

Hi darling! I’ve got a few here, hopefully you find something you like!!! :) :) 

                                       Social Media Fic Rec

I don’t want a taste (I want it all) by thedaggerrose (blessedfetish)

Words: 3k

What Louis really needed was a fat fucking nap.

What Louis got instead was some hipster-looking wannabe arguing with him over the validity of avocado toast.

Or the AU where Harry tells Louis to go fuck himself, Louis tells Harry to fuck him himself, and Harry follows through.

let it happen by glowoftheday

Words: 4k

or the one where Harry and Louis meet on Grindr, and they might just be soulmates

Friend Request by phdmama 

Words: 11k

Louis is bored on Facebook and in the “People you may know” suggestions, he sees the name Harry Styles. The profile picture doesn’t show the person. He thinks it’s an old family friend who he misses – maybe a middle-aged or elderly former neighbor or babysitter who he was fond of as a child - and sends a friend request. Turns out it’s not old man Harry from their old neighborhood, it’s hot young Harry (who he’s never met before) who accepts his friend request…“

nobody else has you down, but me by twinks

Words: 11k

Louis gets set up on a dating website. Harry is one of his 12 matches.

Thought The Song Was Sung by 100percentsassy

Words: 12k

Louis never auditioned for the X-Factor. Years later, Harry’s just another gay ex-boybander who lives alone with his cat… until Niall decides to take matters into his own hands and set up a profile for Harry on a dating website.

This Play Between The Sheets by Harriet1dfan

Words: 15k

Or the totally gratuitous BDSM fic where Louis’ is a drama queen and gets far too excited to pay attention to who he’s texting.

A kiss to build a dream on by noellehenry

Words: 16k

Harry has a brief encounter with a handsome stranger at the local Christmas Fair, the romantic kiss they share changes everything.

Harry is determined to find his Prince Charming and sets up a tumblr blog with help from his best friend Niall, owner of the locally famous Steamin’ mugs.

Let the challenge begin!

Send My Love by FallingLikeThis, Rearviewdreamer

Words: 17k

Louis Tomlinson is fed up with dating losers. Harry Styles is tired of leaving his love life up to fate. Maybe one last try is just what they need to get it right.

Or, when online dating actually works.

kiss me on the mouth and set me free by suspendrs

Words: 17k

Or, Louis is a gamer and Harry is a beauty guru, and VidCon is a good place to fall in love.

Then We Talk Slow by letsjustsee

Words: 20k

A famous/non-famous AU in which Louis banters back and forth with his new record company on Twitter, only to find out that Harry is the man behind the tweets.

Anonymous Said by alivingfire

Words: 21k

Or: two boys, two blogs, two years of anonymous messages, and a bookshop where it all comes together.

Ain't That A Kick In The Head! by lesbianharrie, wreckingtomlinson

Words: 22k

In which Harry’s a disaster gay who doesn’t know shit about soccer, Liam drinks too many blue raspberry Coolattas, Niall knows everyone, Zayn looks dead, and Louis is Not Happy about sharing his breakout moment with “Drunk Hawaiian Guy.”

Something Great by infinitelymint

Words: 31k

or, Louis is a student and Harry is the mega-famous singer that happens to post a photo with Louis in the background. Together they kind of break the internet.

You’re the Light by allwaswell16

Words: 31k

Before beginning a new graduate school in the fall, Louis Tomlinson decides to spend the summer working in Chicago as an editor’s assistant for the Chicago Tribune newspaper and staying with his old college roommate. What he finds on his first day of work is a tall, gorgeous editor named Harry who has the most beautiful green eyes he’s ever seen—and who also happens to be his new boss.

never shut us down by togetherwecouldbealright

Words: 32k

Tumblr!AU.

Louis is an insecure mess and he hides behind his blog. Harry’s a boy with a personality too bright and he’s everything Louis thought he would hate. They end up falling in love.

From Eight Until Late, I Think About You by supernope

Words: 35k

Involves a bunch of YouTube challenges (AKA excuses for Harry to get naked), some awkward snapchat mishaps, and a whole lot of pining.

say you want me by orphan_account

Words: 37k

A Famous/Not-Famous AU featuring Liam, Zayn, and Harry as the members of Sonic Boom, an English band that unexpectedly sky rocketed to international fame, Niall as their biggest fan, and Louis as the exact opposite. Harry’s a closeted pop star and Louis is the uni student he keeps fighting with on Twitter. It’s all silly banter until it turns into something else.

Warm Me Like Sunshine by rainbowslovehl (Larrymateforlife)

Words: 45k

Or alternatively, Louis accidentally discovers that Harry, the boy who he likes, has a tumblr account. He thinks it’s a chance to talk to him online without actually talking, getting to know him before they converse in real life. But things don’t go according to the plan when he finds that Harry is pining over someone who seems to be perfect. It gets worse when Harry starts talking to him in real life as well, since now he has to hide from him that his online friend (Tommo) is the same as his real life friend (Louis).

We’ll Be Seamless by dinosaursmate

Words: 52k

Louis spends all his spare time scrolling arty nude blogs on Tumblr but amongst them all, Green is his favourite.

Anonymously Yours by DirtyLarryStylinson

Words: 64k

Louis creates a fake, female social media account to talk to the new, straight boy, Harry Styles, on. Along with this, Harry is getting closer and closer to Louis and his friendship group, and things are taken way too far online.

When We Were Younger by dinosaursmate

Words: 76k

Sixteen year old Harry Styles’ world turns upside down when he logs on to gay teen chat to discover somebody has stolen his photos and used them as their own.

*credit to the owner of the manip

updated 6.8.19

[princessbunnibun]

uh writing prompt drabble i guess

Before you start I’d like to say I’m sorry for any grammar errors my shift key is broken also this is unedited. 

I lay against the bed with my arms wrapped around him, my fingers running through his curls soothingly as the first rays of the sun began to peek through the window. He stirs and a smile graces my lips as i nuzzle my cheek against his own and kiss his forehead gently,

‘C’mon it’s time to wake up. I wanna play.’

I watch as his own dimpled smile spreads across his face and his brown eyes open. He peeks up at me from his curls and whispers, ‘Well good morning to you too.’

I roll my eyes and sit up poking at his cheeks, ‘I’ve been up for hours waiting on you wake up.’

He laughs and sits up stretching and yawning before swinging his legs over the bed and rubbing at his eyes, ‘Well i didn’t tell you to stay up all night waiting for today.’

More giggles erupt from the pair before a soft knock is heard on his door, his mom’s blonde head peeks through the cracked door as her kind eyes smile along with her mouth, ‘and what’s got you giggly this morning, Pedro.’

‘Jo made me giggle. She stayed up all night waiting for today. Isn’t that silly.’ She smiles a bit wider and pinches her son’s cheeks, ‘Was someone excited for their ride to the toy store.’

Pedro’s face scrunches up as he swats his mom’s hands away playfully, ‘moooom i’m not a baby any more. I’m 12 now.’

I cover my mouth as i begin to giggle behind my hand only to be met with a glare by Pedro which only succeeds in making me burst into laughter. His mom backs out of the room after telling us to get ready to go. Pedro bounced over to his closet grabbing his clothes as i sat on the bed already dressed for the day.

From the closet i could hear the rustling of clothes as well as Pedro raving about the games he was going to get and the first one he would play. ‘I’ve seen all the trailers and videos online of Halo; Spartan Assault and i’m so freaking excited to play it.’

I roll my eyes and lay on my belly as i listened to him nerd out about the lore of Halo, unable to stop the smile that comes to my face. Before i knew it he walked out of the closet dressed in his finest t-shirt and his cleanest jeans, ‘Let’s go.’

He grabs my arm dragging me off the bed as both jog out into the living room leaving giggles in our wake. We’re greeted by his dad and large man with a loud jovial laugh who looks more excited than we do. After packing every one up in the truck we take off down the road to our nearest gamestop.

With the parents at the front of the store handling the money situation as grownups do, Pedro and I go looking through the various games plotting our next moves. ‘I think you should get Bioshock Infinite next. It’s an rpg and it looks like it’s fun as heck.’

He shakes his head and picks up a copy of Call ofl Duty; Ghost. ‘No, this is the next game I’m getting. I heard the graphics are sick.’

I roll my eyes and point at Bioshock, ‘But game play is more extensive instead of the normal just...point and shoot.’ i look back over at you to see, that you’re lost in thought reading the back of the case. I sigh and cross my arms debating whether or not to get your attention.

I’m just about to reach out to grab your arm, when another kid comes walking up and grabs his own copy of Call of Duty. I see your head pop up and your dimpled smile follow, ‘You’re getting Ghost too’

The kid smiles back, ‘Yeah man. It looks sick dude.’ Pedro smirks and looks back at me, ‘Told ya, Jo.’ the kid arches an eyebrow, ‘Uh, what’ Pedro takes a step to the side and I blush as i look away from the kid, ‘Oh, this is Jo. I’m Pedro.’

‘Uh…...okay. I’m Cole.’ he sticks his hand out to shake Pedro’s and goes on to say, ‘What’s your gamer tag man.’ Pedro scratches the back of his neck as a light blush covers his cheek, ‘Well i’m just picking up my Xbox so i don’t have one yet.’

Cole laughs and punches his shoulder playfully, ‘No problem man. Mine is snipercoles all lower case. Just find me online and add me. We can play together.’ Pedro’s face lights up like a christmas tree as he smiles and nods quickly.

‘Yeah yeah that’s great, I’m so excited.’ Pedro’s dad calls out that it’s time to go and we wave goodbye to Cole as we all pile back in the truck and make our way home. When we pulled up Pedro almost jumped from the car as he grabs the bag and jogs into the house.

By the time I get inside he’s already got the box open and is setting his system up murmuring to himself Cole’s gamertag in an attempt to remember it.

I sit on the couch behind him as he finishes up before he grabs his controller and plops next to me. He flashes a smile at me as I giggle and lay my head on his shoulder. As the game begins he points out the easter eggs, and explains every bit of lore he can as i watch him play, cuddling up to his side.

Eventually I fall asleep against his side letting the sound of his voice lull me out. Pedro was happy, and I was happy he was happy. Things were wonderful.

I wake up later in the day to hear him still talking i pop up with wide eyes, shame written across my face, and an ‘I’m sorry’ on my lips. However I stop my when I realize that he wasn’t speaking to me. It seemed as though Cole got online and the two of them were building a replica of a ship on Minecraft.

Smiling, I take my place right next to Pedro once more asking questions as he went giggling softly as he did his best to talk to Cole and I at once. This is how the rest of our summer went. Pedro dividing his time between playing with me and playing with Cole. I didn’t mind it of course, I enjoyed seeing my best friend branch out and meet new people. It made me happy, though the summer doesn’t last forever.

We learned towards the end of the school year that Cole would be attending the same school as him and by goodness Pedro was excited. I was more...worried as i didn’t go to the same school i was, homeschooled in a way. No matter i was still happy that my Pedro wouldn’t be lonely at school.

The school year started off as it does every year, teachers, tests, and homework. Same students,same classrooms, same papers, and same lunches. The only difference this time was that afterschool Pedro always seemed to be….busy.

I would ask if he wanted to work on our replica of an M808 Scorpion but he would tell me that he already had plans to play online with Cole, or his was going over to Cole’s house, or he was tired from staying up all weekend with Cole. Again, I was not upset that he made friends, i swear i wasn’t, I just wish he had made time for me.

Then one day, he invited Cole over, I thought this would be a great thing, he would introduce me and we would all be friends. Things would go back to normal, I would have my friend….friends.

I stood behind Pedro’s door peeking out from behind the creaking wood as I watched Cole get dropped off and Pedro bounce in happily. Taking a deep breath i steeled myself before stepping out of the door walking into the living room and standing beside Pedro. Nudging him in the side i smiled over at him expecting him to introduce us once more.

To my surprise, he ignores me. Cole doesn’t notice me at all. Frowning i poke Pedro in the cheek but he acts as though he can’t feel me. The two of them go off to play their games sitting on the couch each with a controller in hand as they nudged each other out of the way and did their bests to headshot the other.

Fed up I finally stand in front of the T.V glaring at the two boys as they continued to play as though they could see right through me. Though with a growl, Pedro throws the controller down and stands after being killed for the third time in a row.

‘I have to go the bathroom.’ He mumbles as he makes his way into the hallway, thinking this is the perfect time to get him alone, to ask him what the hell his problem is.

Before i even make it to the bathroom Pedro grabs me by the arm and drags me into the bathroom pushing me against the wall, ‘What the HELL Jo.’

My face screws up in confusion and hurt, ‘I….what. You’ve been ignoring me Pedro. I thought we were friends.’ My voice sounds whispy and pitiful in my ears. He huffs and growls, ‘YOU’RE NOT REAL.’

His words echo through my head like a ball in a pinball machine, ‘N-no...I’m...real.’ He grips my wrist and pulls my hand up to my face forcing me to come to reality with the situation. My hand was no longer solid, it was now see through. Opaque.

Pedro glares at me, ‘You’re in my head. No one else can see you and i don’t want you anymore. I’m not a baby, so just….go away.’ My eyes widen as I look up at the face of the person I’ve known my entire life, only to realize that he no longer even resembles the person from my memory.

Nodding i take a seat on the toilet and pull my knees to my chest, he mutters something about fixing his winning streak as he flushes the toilet and walks out of the bathroom. My sniffles fill the room pitifully, when Pablo, Pedro’s twin, walked into the room. I looked up at him hoping against hope that he could see me, but as the door closed behind him and he began to undo their pants, i knew he couldn’t.

Moving through the door i make my way back to the only place i’ve known to feel like home, Pedro’s room. Sitting in the corner of the room, I take my place and just sit. Waiting, for nothing.

Life moved on and I sat in my same place slowly fading more and more as I watched Pedro grow older and older.

One day well into his highschool years i saw Pedro upset. He sat on his bed looking dejectedly at the floor as though his world had been crushed. Yes, it’s true that he had left me to fend for myself fading away slowly on the floor but i couldn’t stand to see him this way.

Pushing myself off the floor I move to sit next to him, sure that he was unable to see me. I place my hand on his own as i say softly, ‘Pedro, remember whenever life gets you down you only need to remember once piece of advice, one thing that will help you get through anything this life may throw your way.’  She sighs softly and kisses his cheek gently sure that he couldn’t feel it as she finally saw herself fading away once and for all. A small smile graces her lips as he looks at her full on tears streaming down his cheeks. A small ray of light flickered through her chest as he reaches out placing his hand on her cheek as he whispers unbelievingly, ‘Jo.’ Her smile turns sad as she fades away slowly her last words lingering on the air, ‘You are loved, Pedro.’

Writing Prompt Idea; You are a kid’s imaginary friend, he’s growing up, you’re fading away.