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iamjjmmma · 4 years ago

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My Own MBTI Test (Yes, You Can Call It JJ’s MBTI Test)

Usually, I only use this account for SU purposes. However, I don’t have any other ideas as to where to post this other than my own website I don’t have the time or mental wherewithal to create as of now, and I really don’t want it hanging around in my docs in the chance of being deleted.

Basically, I made this due to the idea that MBTI tests you can find on the Internet tend to be clunky and long. Sure, they allow for variety, which allows for complexity in discerning your personality, but this also makes for what can be a frustratingly long experience. That being said, because of this test’s binary nature, it may not be completely accurate. However, it will make an attempt to distinguish both your general MBTI type and your specific composition of each of the four letters. As usual, let me know if you find anything wrong with the test.

Without further ado, let’s begin. For ease of taking the test, you can copy and paste, open a new post, and then bold what applies to you before reblogging it. Make sure to credit me.

General (this is used to obtain your type. Because of the binary nature of types, you must pick the one that most closely applies to you).

It’s been a long, mind-numbing, draining day at work. Your friends call and ask you to join them for a night on the town, with them covering all the costs. What do you say?

A: “No, thank you!”. Then, you settle in for a nice night of watching movies, eating comfort food, and having a hot bath. (Introvert)

B: “Sure!”. You then have fun with your friends. (Extrovert)

Would you rather have a career in which you work with your...

A: Hands (Sensory)

B: Mind (iNtuitive)?

Head or heart?

A: Head (Thinking)

B: Heart (Feeling)

Would you say that you’re quick to jump to conclusions (this includes if you’re prone to saying, “I don’t know all the information and can’t form a perfect conclusion from that, BUT here’s the conclusion I do have…”), or is it more natural to you not to form an opinion until you’ve examined every possible source? Be honest.

A: The Former (Judging)

B: The Latter (Perceiving)

The capital letter at the beginning determines your type (except for iNtuitive). For example, if you picked B, B, B, A, then your letters would be E, N, F, and J (ENFJ). Go back through the test now, see what you picked, and write your letters down accordingly.

Now, if you’d like a specific composition of how introverted and extroverted you are, then you need to take four more tests. (Don’t worry, it’ll still be shorter, and easier, than the vast majority of MBTI tests you find online.)

The Introvert/Extrovert Composition Test:

Which would you prefer to do on the weekends with no prior plans?

A: Have a deep, personal, one-on-one day spent with your best friend

B: Have a fun, but not too personal, outing spent with a group of friends

Where are you more productive?

A: Someplace quiet

B: Someplace loud

How would you describe yourself in terms of your speech?

A: Reserved, taciturn, reticent

B: Outgoing, talkative, jovial

When you want a friendship, you..

A: Wait for someone to take the initiative for you, and then eagerly join that friendship

B: Take the initiative yourself

In general, which are you more prone to feeling in social situations?

A: Overwhelmed, overstimulated

B: Bored, understimulated

Where would you prefer to be?

A: In the background, where you can lie low

B: In the center of attention, where you can show off

How do you feel when talking to people you’ve never met before?

A: Awkward

B: Energized

You tend to get more joy out of...

A: Reading a book at home

B: Watching a movie at a movie theater

At work, you’re seen as someone who’s..

A: Timid and meek

B: Brash and perhaps seen by others as overbearing

Finally, in general, after social interaction, you feel...

A: Drained

B: Satisfied/wanting more

Obviously, if you chose A more often, you’re more introverted, and if you chose B more often, you’re more extroverted. But add the number of times you circle A and B. For example, if you, in that ENFJ example, circle A 3 times and B 7 times, then your introvert/extrovert composition would be 30% introverted, 70% extroverted. (Note: If you choose 5 and 5, don’t automatically assume you’re an ambivert. True ambiverts are in fact incredibly rare, and you’re better off going with what you chose on good ol’ question 10 to determine whether or not you’re an introvert or an extrovert. You just swing very slightly that way and may have ambiverted functions, that’s all. In addition, pure introverts and pure extroverts are incredibly rare, which means that if you circled 10 on either side, you’re probably closer to being 95-99% of one or the other instead of 100%. Bottom line: everyone has some introversion and some extroversion.)

The Sensory/iNtuition Composition Test

How well do you tend to remember events from your past?

A: Very well

B: Poorly

In general, do you focus on the here and now, or do you tend to get distracted by other timeframes?

A: Here and now

B: Other timeframes

Do you often dwell on the past?

A: No

B: Yes

Do you often dwell on the future?

A: No

B: Yes

Which of the following beliefs best applies to you?

A: “I am who I am thanks to the past, and there’s nothing I can do to change it.”

B: “Who I am now is who I am now. The past doesn’t matter.”

Your romantic relationships with others are mostly driven by?

A: Your differences from the other person

B: Your similarities to the other person

What grades did you/are you getting in school?

A: Mostly C’s, D’s, F’s

B: Mostly C’s, B’s, A’s

Someone who is fundamentally incompetent in your field, but very high-ranking, and someone who is very low-ranking, but is shown to be fundamentally very competent in skills related to your field, are both making conversation with you, acting very condescending in the process. Which one would you kick out of the room first?

A: The low-ranking one

B: The one who is fundamentally incompetent in your field

Would you describe yourself as more results-oriented or more process-oriented?

A: Process-oriented

B: Results-oriented

Finally, would you describe yourself as someone who prefers to be more concrete or more abstract?

A: Concrete

B: Abstract

Again, if you chose A more often, you’re more sensory, and if you chose B more often, you’re more intuitive. But add the number of times you circle A and B. For example, if the ENFJ example chose A 1 time and B 9 times, then their sensory/intuitive composition would be 10/90. (Note: If you choose 5 and 5, you’re in the right for assuming that you’re an even split between the both of them… in fact, this is the most common even split in all of these tests, and, surprisingly, these won’t fundamentally affect your personality in any drastic way. You simply prefer to have a completely even balance of sensory input and intuition. In addition, pure sensors and pure intuitives are incredibly rare, which means that if you circled 10 on either side, you’re probably closer to being 95-99% of one or the other instead of 100%. Bottom line, just like in the introverted/extroverted test: everyone has some sensory and some intuitive preferences.)

The Thinking/Feeling Test. Possibly the easiest test you’ll take among these four.

You have an unlikely dream you want to pursue, such as being a famous musician without any income to help get you off the ground. Do you pursue it?

A: No

B: Yes

Would you rather be in a relationship with someone who’s guaranteed to give you a financially stable existence or be in a relationship with someone that you’re completely, utterly, madly in love with?

A: The former

B: The latter

Your business is doing poorly, and one of your employees is in danger of being laid off. You have just enough money in your bank account to keep him afloat in your company, but that’s just about all the money that you have. What do you do?

A: Fire him. It’s the tough choice, but the choice you’ll have to make for the good of everyone involved, including the employee.

B: Give him the money. It’s what he would’ve done for you, and there’s always ways to find more money through your family and friends.

Would you rather be alone forever or settle with a partner who is less than ideal for you?

A: Be alone forever

B: Settle for a partner who is less than ideal for me

Your friends invite you for a surprise trip across the country, visiting all of the places on everyone’s bucket list! However, this will require you taking 3-4 weeks off of work, as well as paying for all of your travel expenses, and perhaps some of your friends’, out of pocket. What do you do?

A: Decline the offer.

B: Accept the offer.

How do you react when you’re grieving?

A: I do my best to suppress my emotions and get myself and my family out of this crisis. I can go through my emotions later.

B: Go through my emotions as soon as I can. The sooner I do that, the sooner I can move on and help others move on as well.

Would you describe yourself as more liberal or conservative? (If you’re a centrist, just pick the closest one you lean to.)

A: Conservative

B: Liberal

Do you believe in soulmates?

A: No- there are over 4 billion adults on this planet. Statistically, there’s no way I can possibly meet them all, let alone whittle it down to the one person out of everyone who’s most ideal for me.

B: Yes, of course! Why else would someone choose to spend the rest of their lives with someone else?

It’s a Saturday night, you’re exhausted, and all you want to do is watch a movie. Which genre do you pick?

A: Something thought-provoking and based off of real events and concepts, such as a documentary or movies based on a true story.

B: Something unrealistic, but always sends you over the moon, such as a comedy or a romance.

Finally, what would you say personally rules over you the most?

A: My head

B: My heart

Again, if you chose A more often, you’re more thinking, and if you chose B more often, you’re more feeling. But add the number of times you circle A and B. For example, if the ENFJ example chose A 5 times and B 5 times, then their thinking/feeling composition would be 50/50. (Note: If you choose 5 and 5, you’re in the right for assuming that you’re an even split between the both of them… in fact, this is the second most common even split in all of these tests, and, surprisingly, these won’t fundamentally affect your personality in any drastic way. You simply prefer to have a completely even balance of being ruled by logic and being ruled by your emotions. In addition, pure thinkers and pure feelers are incredibly rare and are more caricatures than anything, which means that if you circled 10 on either side, you’re probably closer to being 95-99% of one or the other instead of 100%. Bottom line, just like before- everyone is ruled to some capacity by logic, and to some capacity by their emotions.)

Finally, the Judging/Perceiving Composition Test.

You’ve just woken up in the morning, and you’re deciding what to do for the day. What are you most likely to do?

A: Make a to-do list

B: Just stay in tune with yourself and do whatever you’d like to do

You’ve just planned a trip to the East Coast, but a hurricane suddenly hits, as it often does, and all your plans for what you’re going to do for these next three days are ruined. How do you react to this?

A: With anger, constantly checking in to see if the hurricane will end, and making plans B, C, and D

B: In stride- hey, there was always a chance this could happen, and besides, this is a chance to stay in and play board games!

How do you approach work?

A: As work. Play can be saved for later.

B: As play- sometimes, I make it a game to see how quickly I can do tasks, see how many coffee breaks I can take without others noticing, or see what potential pranks i can lay on people.

In terms of priorities, how do you approach work?

A: Work is always first-priority. That way, what I want to do can be saved for later without further interruptions.

B: Work is always as far back in the priority list as possible- I don’t want to be a killjoy.

A new goal appears in front of you. How blind are you to things such as your immediate surroundings, new information, and the names and details of new people that come across you during this time?

A: Very

B: Not very much so; I can keep everything scoped in front of me

How do others tend to perceive you?

A: No-nonsense, structured, and rigid

B: Flexible, relaxed, and open for anything

Which of the following is closest to your work style?

A: In long-term efforts, with short breaks in between

B: In short bursts, with long breaks in between

An approaching deadline looms for one of your school assignments. What is your reaction?

A: Calm...I’ve done this assignment two weeks ago, and can now work ahead to work due later this month.

B: Panic...I’ve only gotten this halfway done, and I only have a few hours to do the rest!

Do you tend to make decisions the moment they’re needed?

A: Yes

B: No- often, I’m so busy sorting through the given information that I miss it when it happens

Finally, do you see yourself as someone who quickly makes judgements on certain issues, or someone who takes care to view every side of the argument before voicing an opinion?

A: The former

B: The latter

Again, if you chose A more often, you’re more judging, and if you chose B more often, you’re more perceiving. But add the number of times you circle A and B. For example, if the ENFJ example chose A 7 times and B 3 times, then their judging/perceiving composition would be 70/30. (Note: If you choose 5 and 5, you’re in the right for assuming that you’re an even split between the both of them… in fact, this is the third most common even split in all of these tests. However, this will end up changing your personality drastically, and may change most of your functioning style to the point where people sometimes see you as unpredictable or chaotic. In addition, pure judgers and pure perceivers are actually somewhat common. However, you should also take into consideration if that happens that if you circled 10 on either side, you’re still probably closer to being 95-99% of one or the other instead of 100%. Bottom line, just like before- everyone judges, and everyone perceives.)

#mbti #personality test #i'm an estj #let me know what you guys got!

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crystalninjaphoenix · 5 years ago

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New Places

A Stitched Story

JSE Fanfic

Bit of a simple concept, really. With the truth revealed, Jack, Chase, and JJ have to regroup. And meanwhile, Schneep has to deal with his own magical crisis, and things get crazy fast. I don’t want to say too much because of spoilers, but I think it’s fun ^-^ Also google Rot13, Atbash, and Base64 for some fun easter eggs that might just be enjoyable to me but I’m including anyway because screw it it’s my writing. Anyway, even if there’s not too much happening and it looks longer than it actually is, hope you guys enjoy!

Tagging @septic-dr-schneep for inspiring this AU with this post.

Read where it started: Stitched Together | Season One

Also I’m finally starting a taglist for this dfajklfh: @bupine @violet--majesty

It was a lovely morning to be waiting on a doorstep so you could ask the house’s occupants if you and your friends could stay there because the place where you’d previously been staying had been found by the demon who’d been hunting you.

This thought passed through Chase’s head just before he rang the doorbell for a second time. He couldn’t help but laugh, the sound almost hysterical.

Are you okay, Chase? JJ asked. He was leaning heavily on Jack, his ankle still injured.

Chase shook his head. “Yeah, I’m fine. Guess I’m a little...frazzled.” And who wouldn’t be? He’d just found out the monster chasing them was actually their dead friends fused together, then one of his friends turned out to have magic and proceeded to disappear, and now they’d been run out of Jack’s apartment, where they’d been staying, and he’d turned to the last relatively-safe place he knew. Assuming that she’d let them stay, of course.

The door swung open. There was a woman standing in the doorway, blonde hair pulled back in a messy ponytail. She was wearing the uniform of the diner she worked at, so she must’ve just gotten off a shift. For a moment, she just stared at the three men on her doorstep. And then she gasped out, “Chase?!”

Chase coughed awkwardly. “Hi, Stace. It...it’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“You’re damn right!” Stacy’s tone wasn’t angry, just bewildered. “Wh—what are you doing here?! What are they doing here?!”

“Long story,” Chase sighed. “Can...can we come inside first?”

Stacy silently stood aside, letting the group enter the house.

The suburban house was relatively small, but it was very neat and tidy. There was a couch pressed against the window, a television against the opposite wall, an armchair, a coffee table, and two tiny bean bags in the corner, one yellow, one pink. Jack guided JJ over to the couch, where they both immediately collapsed.

“What the hell is going on?!” Stacy asked. “I don’t see you in person for months, your friends say you’ve disappeared but won’t tell me what’s going on, then next thing I know you’re back, and whenever you call me you won’t tell me what’s going on or why you can’t see our kids!”

“I told you, it’s dangerous,” Chase said tiredly.

“What—okay, I-I understand that, but if that’s the case, why are you here now?” Stacy spluttered. “If you’re in danger, why’re you bringing it here? The place where there’s a five-year-old and an eight-year old?!”

“I know, it’s stupid, I’m sorry,” Chase mumbled.

Stacy paused. Chase normally would’ve been more defensive. There was something wrong here. She looked around at the group. “Where’s your doctor friend?” she asked.

Chase flinched. “You, um, noticed he wasn’t here?��

“Well, yeah, the other two are here, and you guys almost always travel in a group,” Stacy said. “Is...is something wrong? Where is he?”

“He’s...we don’t know where he is,” Jack piped up. “It’s a long story.”

“You keep saying that,” Stacy sighed.

“Well it is,” Jack said. “Look, I’m sorry, Stacy, but our last safe place has just been...found out. We don’t know where else to go.”

“...huh.” Stacy ran her hand through her hair, and loosened her ponytail.

“If you kick us out, we’ll find somewhere else,” Chase said.

“I’m not gonna kick you out,” Stacy scowled. “Not now that you’re here. I just—”

“Mom?”

Everyone in the room paused. Standing in the doorway connecting the living room to the rest of the house were two young girls. The taller, toffee blonde one was holding the hand of the shorter, sandy blonde one. Stacy smiled at them. “Hey sweeties.”

The shorter one was holding a plush doll in one hand. Her eyes widened. “Daddy? Is that you?”

Chase waved. “Hi, Lily. Yes, It’s me. Hello, Moira. It’s good to see you.”

“What’re you doing here?” Moira asked, squeezing her sister’s hand.

“It’s complicated, honey,” Chase said. “Me and my friends are gonna be staying here for a while.”

Lily gasped, suddenly looking delighted. “Yea!” She broke free from Moira’s hand, running over to Chase. She threw her arms around him. Chase froze, stiffening. His eyes darted around the room, landing on every adult. Lily was totally unaware of her father’s distress.

Moira, however, wasn’t. “Lils, come on, let’s let them talk for a bit.”

“Aw, okay.” Lily let go and retreated back to the hall, and she and Moira disappeared back into the house.

Chase went and sat down in the armchair, covering his mouth and shaking slightly. Jack stood up and took another seat closer to Chase, though he didn’t move to touch him.

Stacy stared at all of this in silence. “This...this is all so confusing,” she said. “Chase, what...?”

“I-I don’t want to talk about it,” Chase said, the sound muffled by his hand. “Just...can we have some time?”

Stacy nodded slowly. “Alright. You can explain to me later, if you want to. I’ll...I’ll be around.” And she turned and left.”

After a long moment of silence, Chase took a deep breath. He straightened. “Okay. I think we need to decide where to go from here. For starters...” He looked at Jack. “How’d you just instantly come to the conclusion that Anti was Jackie and Marvin? Just...h-how?”

“Um...well...” Jack shifted on his seat. “Me and JJ were talking about this yesterday. I, uh, apparently have magic vision now.”

“What?! Since when?!”

��Since JJ replaced my eye.” Jack tapped the skin under his right eye, the one that was brighter blue than the other. “We’re still not sure why, but it...it means I can sea people’s souls.”

“You can what?!” Chase could only gape at him.

“Yeah. They look like glowing balls of light in people’s chests.”

Chase folded his arms unconsciously, over his chest. “Can...you see mine?”

“Yeah, it’s yellow. And it has these...” Jack shook his head. “I-I don’t know, these groove things. I think it’s because of what An—anyway.” He coughed. “How I knew they were him, was that...I looked at Anti’s soul, and it was a bunch of red and blue...shard-like things. Held together by that green string. You remember that? I-I saw it, and I reached forward, and I pulled it out...and then Anti disappeared and we found Marvin and Jackie. Later, I-I looked at them with this soul vision, and they...didn’t have...normal soul lights. They both had red and blue shards.”

There was evidence that Marvin and Jackie preformed a transference spell before they died. JJ said. It’s black magic. Very black magic. It takes apart people’s souls and switches the pieces around, then enhances them. It will give the two participants special abilities, but at a cost. It must’ve gone wrong, and somehow Anti is the result.

Chase laughed. “Okay. Cool. That’s fine. What...what do we do about that? Ho-how do we get them back?”

Jameson froze. Chase...he signed slowly. I don’t think there’s a way to get—

“Shut up!” Chase shot to his feet. “Of course there’s a way! There has to be a way! They—they’re probably stuck in there! We have to get them back!”

Chase. Jameson leaned forward, trying to be gentle. If their souls were torn apart—

“There has to be a way!” Chase repeated insistently. “I mean, if magic is real, then we can fix this! I-I know maybe you’ve never heard of one, fancy magic man, but you’ve never heard of something like Anti, either! So there’s got to be a way!” He looked at Jack. “Right?”

“Wh—I mean, yeah, of course,” Jack nodded. “That makes sense. Besides, we’ll never know if we don’t try.”

Jameson shank back, looking a little ashamed. I’m sorry. The signs were small. I suppose you two are right. I was just trying... He stopped. You’re right. We need to try.

“Yeah, but first, we need to find Schneep,” Jack said. “What...what happened to him?”

“I dunno, I guess it’s his magic. That he suddenly has. For some reason,” Chase mumbled. He sat back down, shrinking into the cushions of the arm chair.

“Yeah, what is that kind of magic anyway? Where did it come from?” Jack wondered.

Jameson shrugged. I’m unsure for that latter question, but for the former, it appears Henrik can teleport, somehow. Or maybe it’s that he somehow affects the world around him to make regular walking easier for him. Like wormholes.

A hint of a smile drifted across Chase’s face. “Yeah, explain it to him like it’s wormholes, he’d like that more.” The smile faded away. “So, he freaked out and teleported away. Where did he go? How would we find him? He didn’t have his phone on him, so we can’t even take the risk of Anti finding us to call him.”

“I guess we’ll have to find him the old-fashioned way,” Jack figured. “By looking around and walking for him.”

“That could take forever!” Chase gasped.

Yes, but it’s the best we can do, JJ said. He winced. Or rather, it’s the best you can do. I’m afraid that I’m still in no condition to walk around. I do appreciate that you two helped me here, but I would just slow down your search.

“It’s okay, JJ,” Jack reassured him. “It’s best if you just stay here and heal up.”

“Should we start looking for him now?” Chase wondered. “I mean, the sooner the better, right? But we did just get here. Would it be weird to leave right away?”

“I don’t think it would be,” Jack shrugged. “We can just tell Stacy where we’re going, and when we’re gonna be back.”

Yes, I think it would be better to start earlier, JJ added. Who knows where Henrik could be now? He could have gone a long way, and be getting even further.

“No time to waste, then,” Chase said, nodding. He stood up again. “C’mon, let’s get going.”

— — — — — — —

With no further ado, Chase and Jack went back out onto the streets of the city. The morning was clear, with a few wispy clouds high in the sky. It was an average morning, with people strolling out along the streets, going about their various business. Chase and Jack would occasionally stop one of them, asking if they’d seen a man who looked similar to the two of them. None of them had.

They stopped for a break around noon, the spring sun high in the sky. They sat down on the curb of the sidewalk. “Should we get something to eat?” Jack asked. “We’ve been out for a while. And we didn’t exactly have a good breakfast.”

Chase shrugged. “I dunno. Whatever you want.”

“Well, I don’t want to go somewhere just for me,” Jack said. “So are you hungry?”

Chase just shrugged again.

Jack stopped talking, looking at Chase and frowning. Something was up, he could tell. Chase was being pretty...passive. “Are you okay, dude?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Chase balled his fists, scrunching up his pants.

“You don’t look fine,” Jack pointed out.

“Well, I am.”

“No, you’re not,” Jack insisted. “C’mon, you can tell me what’s up.”

“You wouldn’t care about what’s up!” Chase suddenly burst out. He gasped, hand flying to cover his mouth.

Jack was left speechless. “...what?””

Chase suddenly stood up, quickly walking away, down the sidewalk. Jack didn’t hesitate to follow, rushing to catch up.

“Chase?! Chase!” Jack called after him. Chase didn’t turn around, pushing past people on the sidewalk as he rushed away. “Chase! Slow down!” Jack picked up the pace until he was able to reach out and grab Chase by the shoulder. With a yelp, Chase spun around, pushing away Jack’s hand. “You can’t just say something like that! Of course I’d care!”

For a moment, Chase looked like he wanted to keep running. Then he slumped. “I know, I know you would, I-I don’t know why I said that. I just...you have all your shit going on, it feels stupid to bring you into mine, too.”

“No, it’s not. It’s exactly the opposite of stupid. Bring me into your shit. Tell me what’s going on!”

“No, it’s stupid, it really is.” Chase folded his arms, looking down at the ground.

“Well, I’m not gonna drop it until you tell me what’s going on,” Jack said. “So might as well get it over with.”

Chase looked around. There weren’t a lot of people around, and definitely none in earshot. He sighed. “It’s just...you have a cool power, dude. JJ has magic. Schneep has magic, apparently. And then I’m just...here.” He blinked furiously, eyes watering. “I don’t do anything. All that I’ve done is get kidnapped, possessed, get un-possessed, and now I can’t handle anything! I can’t even fucking let my own daughter give me a hug without freezing up! And you guys are doing great! You’ve all had to deal with shit, and you’re not like this! So why am I—just—worthles—” He choked up. And he realized tears were leaking from his eyes.

Jack took this all in, staying silent. His expression was hard to read. And then he stepped closer to Chase, taking care not to touch him. “Chase Brody, never say that you’re worthless.”

“Okay,” Chase said automatically.

“No, I mean it. You think we would’ve gotten this far without you? No! You remember when you shot Anti, despite him still having a hold on you? That was the most badass shit I’ve ever seen! And that was you! You’re amazing!”

“But you guys—”

“No no no, stop it,” Jack said firmly. “Stop comparing yourself to the rest of us, we’re not all the same. You’re right, we’ve all had to deal with shit, and it’s all been different shit. You notice how Henrik avoids going to sleep? Or how I couldn’t leave the apartment for two whole months and outside still kinda freaks me out? None of us are doing great.” Jack shook his head. “And even if it was the same shit, we still would’ve reacted differently. Because we’re different people, and comparing yourself to others only hurts. If there’s any comparison you should be doing, it’s to yourself. And Chase, you are doing so much better. Think of how you were doing a few months ago. You’ve been improving. And yeah, maybe you don’t have magic, but you’re still strong. And don’t you forget it.”

Chase’s tears were still flowing, but for a different reason. “Thanks, Jack.” His voice cracked. “I guess I needed that.”

Jack smiled. “If you ever need it again, just tell me.”

“I-I’ll keep that in mind.” Chase wiped his face on his sleeve. He took a deep breath. “Alright. So, we keep going, then?”

“We keep going.” Jack nodded. “We’re bound to find Schneep eventually.”

Yet, the sun lowered in the sky, the blue faded to pink and then purple, the hours passed, and they still hadn’t found him. They returned back to Stacy’s house, agreeing to look again tomorrow.

— — — — — — —

He didn’t know where he was.

He didn’t know how he got there.

He’d been back in the apartment. Anti had appeared. Anti had taunted them, telling them that he was the other two. And somehow, he knew this wasn’t a lie. Marvin and Jackie had been acting so odd once they’d returned, and he couldn’t...he couldn’t feel where they were, like he could with other people. Now, he wondered if that ability to feel people had anything to do with...what else he could do.

He didn’t know how to describe what happened next. He wanted a weapon, so he reached over and grabbed one. He wanted to attack, to be at the front of the action, and all of a sudden Anti was right in front of him. And so he fought. He fought for the two who’d gone and the three who remained. But it was too much. Things were spiraling out of control. He’d take one step, and suddenly the room reoriented around him, and he was somewhere else entirely. It was spinning around him, he was one place and then another. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t steady himself. His head was swimming. It hurt. He screamed, and then he was somewhere else.

It was a strange place, he knew that much. The texture of the walls were unfamiliar, the furniture in unexpected places, the sound of a construction crew nearby completely different. He couldn’t hear or feel anyone nearby. Maybe it was a living room. In a house he’d never been in.

His vision was different. Well, it was still effectively gone, but that static that he’d been seeing ever since coming out of the Nightmare had disappeared. It was instead replaced with plain blackness. Alright, that was a slight improvement, but why?

He tripped across a wrinkle in the rug, falling to the floor with a cry. He didn’t stand up again. There was probably other things to trip over.

After what felt like an hour, he heard the muffled sound of footsteps. Someone was coming, he could feel it. That got him to climb to his feet. He headed for the nearest wall, feeling along the perimeter of the room. There had to be somewhere to hide, or somewhere to get out, somewhere to get out—

And then the wall disappeared. The sound of construction was replace by tweeting birds and a cool breeze. He stumbled as the floor under his feet became uneven, turning into soft dirt.

“What the fuck...?” He muttered.

“Hey!” Someone shouted. He cried out, turning towards the sound. Someone was coming closer. “This is private property!”

“I-I am sorry, I-I do not know how—how I got—” he stammered.

“Speak proper English, please,” the someone said dismissively. “Stay here while I call the police.”

He yelped, backing up. He felt the prickly branches of a bush dig into his back. No no no, this place wasn’t good either, get out—

And as he was backing up, he tripped over something else, falling over what felt like a wooden chair and landing hard on a carpeted floor. Suddenly, there were a lot of voices. And he could feel a lot of people nearby. They felt different.

“What the hell?!” “Jesus, that scared me.” “Um, Ms. Mae? I think—” “Unauthorized teleportation—” “—supposed to have a smoke effect?” “What’s up with his eyes?” “—don’t recognize him.” “Sir, are you alright?”

Too many people. He tried to stand up, and somehow rammed his head into something. He yelled, withdrawing.

“There’s a bookshelf there, sir,” said one of the voices. “Are you alright? Can you...wait, can you see us?”

He squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head. Not here, somewhere else, not here, somewhere—

And the world shifted again.

And again.

He wasn’t sure how much time was passing, but it had to be a significant amount. He’d stay in each place for as long as thirty minutes, or as few as thirty seconds. Never anywhere he recognized by touch. Sometimes he’d get his bearings enough to try and find the room’s exit, or walk down the sidewalk, or figure out exactly where the hell he was. But the world always shifted again, even if he didn’t want it to.

Sometimes there were people. He tried not to stay there too long. They’d think he was crazy. Sometimes it was a room, sometimes it was outside. Once there was water lapping around his ankles.

Where was he?

Where were the others? He had to find them. He had to find out if they’d gotten away from Anti, or if he needed to rescue them. Not that he was sure he could, with the world constantly changing. Sure, he’d managed to stab Anti once or twice, but that might’ve been beginner’s luck. Didn’t mean he wouldn’t try, though.

He was outside again, on a sidewalk. The air had cooled down significantly, and he could feel less people around. The sound of the cars passing by were less frequent. Time had passed.

No, he was in a noisy building, people shouting, dishes clattering.

No, he was in a wide-open space, instruments playing discordantly.

No, somewhere boiling hot—

No, somewhere with the ground kicking up sand—

No, somewhere quiet—

Somewhere loud—

Somewhere soft—

Sweet-smelling—

Grassy—

Cold—

His heart was about to pound out of his chest. His mind was swimming, a lightheaded feeling. There were swirls of colors swimming before his eyes. Patterns of phosphenes.

Ticking—

Crashing—

Dizzy—

Heavy—

Too much, too much, too much—

Something broke.

He saw a hospital room, a single bed surrounded by medical equipment. There was a man in a snap-back cap, sitting on the floor like he’d been knocked down, and another man in a ragged white coat, staring down at him. His expression was a combination of shock and anger. “I do not you would forget so easily,” the man in the white coat said. “But maybe I am mistaken. If what I have seen you doing is what I think it is, then maybe your mind is missing entirely.” “Wha—no, I—oh my god, you’re alive.” The man in the cap stood up, looking a bit dazed as he looked the other up and down. “We all thought the worst—I mean, we never gave up hope—well, ░▒░▒░▒ got close, I think, but maybe that’s just the pessimist in him. And there was that fucked up postcard back in March…but you’re back now. You’re back.” He smiled, a small expression filled with relief.

He was in the middle of a dark field, city lights in the distance. They were close enough to make out buildings but too far to walk to. A man in a black cape and purple and white mask was walking. His hand was held up high above him, blue crystallized lights dancing around his fingers, illuminating the area. He spun around, looking for something. He said something under his breath, and the blue light flared, shooting out. Something laughed. “You talk too much,” said a voice, seeming to come from everywhere. The man spun around, blue light twirling away. Shuffling movement in the darkness, and then there was something, something gray and smiling and with blackened sharp nails, tackling the man to the ground. Something red splashed.

he was standing behind someone, a young man in a button-up shirt, who was holding a ceramic mug in two hands. the man was in the doorway of a living room, watching two other men talk. They appeared to be arguing. “i don’t own a green t-shirt, ░▒░▒░!” this man had his hair pulled back, waves falling down his back. “you know i don’t like them! you can go look in my closet and hamper if you want,i don’t have anything like that.” “well, who was it, then?” this one had a snap-back cap and a dirty jacket. “what, are you saying that someone was pretending to be you—” the man in the doorway suddenly paled. he dropped the mug he was holding, and it shattered upon the floor with a loud crash. the other two turned to look at him. “░▒░▒░▒░? are you alright?”

Ur jnf yvfgravat gb na nynez evatvat guebhtu gur nve. Gur juvgr-jnyyrq unyyjnl jnf yvg hc bayl ol erq rzretrapl yvtugf naq n fgenatr terra tybj. Gurer jrer gjb svtherf va gur pragre bs gur unyy, bar ylvat ba uvf onpx, gur bgure xarryvat arkg gb uvz. Gur bar xarryvat jnf cerffvat qbja ba gur bgureâ€™f fgbznpu, jurer n qnex fgnva jnf fcernqvat npebff gur oyhr fuveg. â€œFuvg, unat ba, whfg unat ba,â€ gur bar xarryvat fnvq. â€œV xabj fbzrbar jub pna uryc, jr whfg arrq gb svaq uvz.â€ Gur bar ylvat qbja tebnarq, naq bcrarq uvf rlrf. Fbzrguvat jnf tybjvat juvgr. â€œFghcvq nynezâ€¦â€ Ur ernpurq hc, unaq gerzoyvat. Fgenaqf bs juvgr yvtug pheyrq nebhaq uvf nez, gura fubg njnl, jenccvat nebhaq n obk ba gur prvyvat. Gur zrgny pheyrq nf vs vg jnf pynl orvat gjvfgrq. Gur nynez fgbccrq, naq fbzr bs gur erq rzretrapl ohyof ohefg, envavat qbja tynff naq yrnivat gur fgenatr terra tybj nf gur bayl fbhepr bs yvtug.

Sv hzd z uzhg ullw ivhgzfizmg, nlhgob vnkgb. uoflivhxvmg ortsgh org fk gsv yfrowrmt, z xlmgizhg gl gsv wfhp lfghrwv gsv drmwldh. Z nzm dzh hrggrmt rm z yllgs rm z xlimvi, dizkkvw rm z xlfkov ozbvih lu xolgsrmt vmwrmt rm z tivvm qzxpvg drgs ufi zilfmw rgh sllw. gsviv dviv yzmwztvh zilfmw srh mvxp zmw z kzgxs levi srh vbv. sv dzh hgzirmt zg hlnvgsrmt zxilhh uiln srn gszg ollpvw orpv z nzm rm z ivw sllwrv, yfg gsviv dzh hlnvgsrmt...dilmt. Rgh uzxv dzhm’g erhryov. “Blf pmld, dv ivzoob hslfow hgzb lfg lu gsrh, ĵŀ½ýªś,” hzrw gsv gsrmt rm gsv ivw sllw. “Bvzs, r urtfivw gszg lfg dsvm gsv wlxgli gsrmt prxpvw nv lfg lu rgh xrgb,” gsv nzm nfggvivw, iloormt srh erhryov vbv. “Gdrxv.” “Yfg.” Gsv gsrmt uozhsvw z hnrov. gsv gvvgs ollpvw...dilmt. “R dlm’g orv, r ivzoob dzmg gl hvv rg tvg rgh wfv. Xzoo rg pzinz, ru blf dzmg.”

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

“Stop!”

He gasped, and suddenly everything was still. Very still, in fact. Almost unusually still. He couldn’t hear anything nearby. He couldn’t smell anything nearby. He couldn’t feel anything other than the ground beneath his feet. But he could feel something...someone? Were they the source of the voice that shouted “stop”?

“Gods, was not expecting that. What’re you doing? How’d you get here?” The voice sounded familiar...but also different.

“I—I—” He couldn’t answer either of those questions. “I do not know. I-I am sorry if I upset you.”

A short burst of laughter. “You didn’t upset me—well I mean, I am kind of busy right now, but I can take a break to figure out what the actual fuck you were doing.”

“Doing? What—where am I?” He realized he was shaking a bit. Nerves, maybe. Or exhaustion. From whatever that had been.

“Hmm. You can’t see, can you? Otherwise you’d be having a stronger reaction than that.” Footsteps approached him. “Here, let me just—”

He felt hands on his head, pressing fingers into his temples. And then he felt something else, some kind of tingly, static sensation. He yelped. And then suddenly, he saw himself. Not from the perspective you would expect, but like he was looking through someone else’s eyes at himself. He could see the scars under his eyes for the first time. Then the perspective changed, like someone was looking to the side. And he saw...lights. Tiny green orbs of light, extending off in all directions, for forever, against a black sky. They were reflected across the horizon, but he wasn’t sure if that was because the floor he was standing on was reflective, or if the floor was transparent, showing a void all around. He gasped, and the hands were withdrawn. “Where am I?” He repeated, in a hushed voice.

“...how do I explain this?” the voice muttered. “Alright. Do you play video games? You likely have a few friends who do.”

“Um...yes, I have friends. I play a few games, I suppose.”

“You know how a level of a game has a map? The map makes up the environment, and it’s made of all the various assets the game has.”

“Yes.”

“You know how, in some games, if you do just the right thing, you can glitch outside of a map and into the empty space beyond? Where you can see the whole map from a new perspective.”

“I...yes.”

“Well. Welcome to the empty space around the map, Henrik.”

Schneep gasped. “How do you know my name?!”

“I mean, I guessed you were one of them.” The voice sounded casual. “The accent gave it away.”

Schneep shook his head, backing away from the voice. “Is—is this real? Am I having a hallucination?”

“Why, do you have those?”

“Someti—that is none of your business!” Schneep snapped. “How do I get back to where I was?”

“Good question, normally you wouldn’t be able to.”

“What?!”

“But the fact that you were glitching outside and looking at other ones is a good sign that you’ll be able to. Though, judging by your reaction and recent memories, this is a new thing for you.”

“You looked inside my—?!” This was too much. Schneep fell to the ground, collapsing to his knees. He covered his mouth and tried not to hyperventilate.

“Oh, I shouldn’t have done that, should I?” The voice asked. “I just thought it would be helpful if I understood where you were coming from.”

“How is this happening?” Schneep whispered weakly. “Jameson, he told me I had magic, b-but I did not think—! It would be like—! Wh-why do I even have this? What happened to make it?”

“Another good question.” The voice lowered, like he was also sitting on the floor. “Well, it sounds like this isn’t something you had your whole life. Were you exposed to any kind of magic for an extended period of time? Say, a few months.”

Schneep immediately started nodding. “I-I got stuck. In this place called...the Ni-Nightmare.” He shuddered. “It was for months.”

“Well, shit. You have to get your soul ripped out to go there.” The voice fell silent for a while. “So, I’m no expert, but I can give you my best guess. Your soul probably got used to being outside your body, and while it was in the Nightmare, it began to adapt to the new environment. Once it was returned to your body, it settled back in, but the properties it picked up started to seep into your body as well. It would probably lay dormant for a while until you needed it to start acting weird, probably triggered by stress or something. And now, I’m guessing everything’s hit the fan for you.”

Schneep nodded. “It was like...everything around me was changing. I could not control it.”

“Of course you can control it.” He could practically hear the voice rolling his eyes. And moderation, of course, so you don’t end up glitching too far. I mean, eventually you would’ve drifted off, bouncing between other worlds. You’re lucky I stopped by.”

Schneep paused. “Who are you?”

Laughter. Chillingly familiar, yet somehow...more relaxed. “If I told you my name, you’d probably recognize it. But I probably shouldn’t, in case the me in your world isn’t as nice. Never mind that, though.” A shuffling sound, like the voice was standing up. Then the voice grabbed Schneep’s arm and pulled him up. “I think it’s best if you don’t stay here. Just in case there are more effects.”

Schneep shook his head. Everything was moving fast. “H...how would I get out of here?”

“Well, you got in, didn’t you? You can get out, if your powers brought you here. You just need to control them.”

“How?” Schneep asked in a small voice.

“You start by not controlling them.” Schneep’s expression must’ve shown, because the voice chuckled. “Abilities like this are part of you, if they’re anything like mind. As much as your arm is part of you. Do you make an effort to ‘control’ your arm? No, you just think about what it’s supposed to do, and it does it. Glitching to other places is just an easier way of walking. Think about where you want to go, and go there.”

“What? It cannot be that easy.”

“It is. You might need to practice, though. But for now, just relax. If you freak out, it’s likely that your powers are gonna freak out too.”

“I think I figured that out,” Schneep grumbled.

“Yeah, that’s probably how you ended up here, huh?” The voice sounded like he was smiling. “Just take a deep breath, and think about using your powers to get back where you came from.”

Schneep hesitated. “What if it goes wrong? Are...are you going to give more advice?”

“If you don’t go back to your world, yeah. But once you’re there, I can’t follow you. I can access the In-Between, and my own world, but nothing else without concentrated help. It’s one of the few rules I follow.” The voice shifted, now sounding a bit irritated. “Now can you hurry? I said I was busy, and unless I want some black magic kitty causing havoc, I gotta get back to that.”

“Okay, okay.” Schneep considered asking about that, then decided it was a better idea not to. He took a deep breath. Just think about it, huh? Alright. He wanted to go home. He imagined a doorway opening in front of him, and on the other side was where he wanted to go. He took a step forward—

And ran his shins into a coffee table.

He cried out, jumping backwards. Okay. Alright. This was better. He wasn’t in that weird...place anymore. He reached forward, bending down to feel the surface of the coffee table. It was wood, felt fairly big, and there was an indent right in the middle.

Schneep froze. That wasn’t just an indent. He recognized the feel of the knick in the wood. He ran his fingers over it a few more times, awakening a long ago memory. One time, Marvin had visited his apartment, but neglected to tell him he would be practicing throwing knives. He dropped one right on the living room coffee table. Schneep had ranted his ear off that night about how the blade had left a knick in his table.

How many times had he ran his hand over that dent in the wood? Especially after he’d thought his friend had died...he wasn’t about to forget the feeling of it, no matter how long it had been.

But he had to make sure. Schneep stood up, feeling around the edges of the room. Yes, there was the glass wall to the balcony. There were the houseplants in the corners, now dried up and dead from neglect. There was his second coat hanging off the hook near the door. He’d ended up home.

Schneep sat down hard on the sofa. So. Maybe that voice’s advice wasn’t too bad.

It had been...a long, long day. An absolutely insane day, in fact. He needed to process all this. He lay down across the cushions, staring into nothing. His vision was back to blackness. Which he didn’t mind, in comparison to the static. If that was part of his new abilities, he’d take them all.

Okay. Start with processing the simpler-to-understand stuff. Anti was back. Doing alright so far. Anti was actually Marvin and Jackie—nope, that one needed more attention.

Some part of Schneep knew they’d always been dead. He’d seen their bodies. He’d examined their bodies. You don’t come back from that. And even if they somehow magically recovered for a bit, he knew they weren’t the same. He’d figured out by now that he could feel people, which must’ve also been part of his powers. But he could never feel them. They weren’t people anymore. They were ghosts. Remnants.

Schneep wiped away at the tears suddenly trickling down his face.

And now, all that was left of them was Anti. Anti, the worst parts of each of them, now hell-bent on tormenting them. Maybe if they got rid of Anti, Marvin and Jackie could finally have some peace. In whatever came next.

He reached vaguely to the side. He needed a weapon, something suitable for defeating Anti. And surprisingly, his fingers wrapped around something. He pulled it back, feeling the item over with both hands. A pair of...scissors? Odd, but he supposed they were just a pair of knives attached together. He tried again, reaching to the side, this time thinking about a knife. And this time, he grabbed a kitchen knife. Huh. Apparently, he could summon things now, too. Though...was he actually just reaching through some kind of wormhole to grab something from somewhere else...?

Schneep shook his head. He’d figure it out later. For now...he was tired. And again, he needed to process this. He set the scissors and the knife down on the nearby table.

They needed a plan. They needed to be together. And Schneep needed more time to adjust to these new abilities.

So that would be what he’d do next. He’d figure out how to use these powers to their best, find their strengths, weaknesses, and limitations. Then, when they came for Anti, he wouldn’t know what hit him.

With a sigh, Schneep closed his eyes. Yes, he’d be prepared for that day. It was coming soon.

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticeye fanfiction #jacksepticegos #septic egos #septic egos au #chase brody #jameson jackson #dr schneeplestein #antisepticeye #stitchedstories #fixing stitching #brigid writes fanfiction

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luuxxart · 5 years ago

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GIVE US THE NEW WARRIORS HEADCANONS UR REDESIGNS ARE AMAZINGJAKMAKWJDKSL💖💖💖

aaaa omG thank you!! :’D I’m actually strangely attached to these characters so I’ll try to do my best to explain the design choices I made and everything

ok so here we go.

SCREENTIME

* first off

* Not an entirely bad name??

* I would prefer Worm tho as a reference to the Morris Worm

* And I did make his design a little more wormy. Kinda Doc Ock-ish.

* So his tragic backstory... Well. Long long ago... when he was just a little kid... his dad fucked his mom.

* Jkjkjkjk. But it would be better than fucking “internet gas.”

* To take this in a darker route, I think it would be cool if his grandad had been experimenting with creating cyborgs and turned his dad into one. And then turned Screentime into one. So Screentime escaped sort of half-finished and is just trying to help others who might mirror his situation of abuse.

* I like to think his first superhero story was he was just like fucking buying bulk ramen and then hears a dude harassing a girl in the next aisle over and is like. huh. word. guess I can intimidate this guy by threatening to take his fucking social security and make it public knowledge.

* Bc he can hook up to the internet and updates his database frequently so he can just Mr. Robot people.

* He’s probably like 18 or 19. Never was schooled and college is kinda pointless when you have the whole internet in your brain.

* So he’s just living in a rundown apartment. Payin bills by doing odd jobs and doin bitcoin stocks.

* On the battlefield, he’d definitely be a mind games kind of guy, but he’d also use his worm limbs for dexterity and could probably discharge bursts of electricity at the cost of losing some information in his database.

* Also it’s probably really hard to tell, but Screentime is my favorite out of the original designs.

TRAILBLAZER

* again! Not a bad name at all!

* Made me think of fire though... and hiking... so

* We really don’t have much information on these characters so they were kinda fun to play around w and I think she was my favorite in terms of concepts.

* Also what the fuck are those red things on her head am I just fucking dumb???

* They look like devil horns. So I’m gonna run with it.

* Ok so she got a backpack from a god.

* Well that god was a god of Hell and also her godfather. Her actual father was another god of Hell. And idk how gods really work in the Marvel universe?? But I think there’s probably at least some high-ranking demons of Hell. I think Hell exists??? If I remember Doctor Strange correctly? (Maybe not Doctor Strange... bro everything is so hard to keep up with)

* Anyway, her dad was killed by some hero traveling through Hell at some point probably. And so she’s been preparing since to go avenge him.

* Then she gets to earth and is kinda like... well, avenging can wait.

* And the reason she can’t just get anything she wants out of the backpacks is because the backpacks are alive. But over time as she gains their trust, they start to become more and more useful. So, like magikarp to gyarados.

* her outfit was so fucking hard to redesign. like,,, I still don’t like it. The backpacks and stuff yes. Everything else no. But it’s better than the Neon Nightmare.

* Her powerset shouldn’t be limited to just her backpacks though. I saw a lot of people complain about that. Bc anyone could steal them from her and use them?

* So I think she should have superhuman strength. Also, her backpacks should only respond to her command. It’d be cute if they were also kinda cheeky about it. Bc yeah she’s a spoiled little brat. But she’s their spoiled little brat so they’re not opening up for anybody but her.

* She’s defo the youngest of the group

* Even if she is an immortal demon kid lol

bro I can’t even say it

I’m renaming them Shuriken. Effective immediately.

SHURIKEN

* So Shuriken is non-binary. Which I think is really cool! They’re not the first non-binary character that Marvel has,, bc Loki exists,, but while they’re not a good step forward... they’re a step forward nonetheless and I kinda commend them for at least trying.

* But goddamnit why did they have to go and name them S

* Sn

* please don’t make me say it

* So Shuriken has ice powers that are sort of threatening to take them over. Like if Iceman couldn’t control his powers ig. Their powers sort of came to them mysteriously in the middle of them already having a gender crisis and high school is happening and all that blah and now they’re just like,,, so ,, “superheroing seems to be a good venture right now. Maybe I’ll find myself in heroics and forget about everything else”

* And most of the heroic ideal is on their brother, ,,,, uh,,,, Quarterback,,, who idolizes the “classic” heroes like Cap, Iron Man, and Thor.

* Shuriken prefers reading news stories about Night Slasher and Punisher, Jessica Jones, and just generally, the other edgier heroes.

* But because their brother idolizes heroics so much, it makes it sort of a surprise when Shuriken takes up their mantle before Quarterback realizes anything is going on.

* And how does the ice stuff affect them? They’re sort of on the fence about finding a cure and whatnot. Most people speculate its like later-in-life mutation, but Shuriken isn’t satisfied with this answer.

*they sometimes chop off the spiky ice parts for convenience(they have no feeling in the frozen over parts of their body)

*(I’m toying with the idea of them having a crush on Ms. Marvel ngl)

QUARTERBACK

* not much to say about him? Other than goddamn that neon was terrible.

* Also I’ve seen jocks wear pink, so some youtube dudes complaining about that can fuck off. Maybe not that bright of a shade?

* But I figure with a defensive character, you would definitely want a bulkier frame. At least Power Man levels of a bulky frame? Like I’m not talking Hulk or Thing. Just.. yknow. At least a good Cap size dude.

* Also a blockier costume would make sense. Since he’s supposed to be. Uh. Safe. For people to like,, crowd behind. Like a safe

* Like a safe sp

* Like a

* safespace.

* I also like to think he was sort of a stereotypical jock and then here comes his little sibling (by like,, 7 minutes) who’s finally just like “yo fuck the gender spectrum” and so he finally opens up to his own interests that he’s been burying

* Like the color coral

* Which is definitely not pink my dudiest of dudes ;)

* He’s definitely more

* CHILL

* than Shuriken about the whole ice taking over his body thing. Like, at the end of the day, he’s still a jock even if he did turn out to be a mutant. Like , the world didn’t just end because he’s got some cool ice powers

* Also only being able to create a shield if it’s for others?? What a fucking joke man come on

* He can create platforms of ice and just mainly uses the ice as shields.

B-NEGATIVE

* OK THIS IS MY SON

* not the original he kinda just looked like he took one look at Welcome to the Black Parade and said “I can do that outfit. But crappier.”

* Listen,,,, I constructed a son

* It’s like that thing from that movie

* I was like

* “We can rebuild him...”

* is that fucking robocop

* At any rate, yeah yeah, Morbius stuff is still withstanding

* What if

* And hear me out

* His parents were sort of antivax sort of anti-mutant sort of folk. They get into some sort of car accident when he’s kinda young. He gets a blood transfusion against his parent’s wishes and in the end also gets adopted by this weirdass doctor who probably has some nefarious purpose, considering he used Morbius’ blood in the first place.

* This would explain how he could survive having vampirism since a doctor would probably have easier access to donated blood and stuff.

* Should the blood be going to people who actually need a transfusion? yes, however, this doctor is clearly ,, off his fucking rocker and corrupt as hell,, and what is his purpose?? The world may never know

* I don’t think B-Negative cares about anything. Like he just seems like that kind of character? Totally and inherently aloof and selfish because he’s just been fed blood on a silver spoon his whole life?

* Just does not care

* He does care about music though. Specifically rock(alternative, punk, hard, etc) and the history of it.

* me personally I really like Pink Floyd and I’m not going to,, shove my beliefs onto a character but

* I’m going to shove my beliefs onto a character and say his favorite song of all time is probably Welcome to the Machine

* And he probably will not shut up about how righteous of a song it is and how pertinent the message is

* Bc I think it fits,,, a lot of things about the stuff I’ve wrote with the backstories of these characters

* and yes

* he can perfectly mimic Great Gig in the Sky. the man!! has pipes!!!

* I also think it would be cool if he’s the oldest of them? Like, younger than 21 but he’s out of high school. Just trying to get a bachelors in music history at fuckin uh. NYU probably.

* he unironically likes twilight

#marvel #new warriors #ask #ik it looks weird haha i wrote this all in my notes and just copy pasted

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healinghomegroup7 · 4 years ago

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What Husbands Can Do When Their Wives Have Postpartum Depression

When your wife has postpartum depression (PPD), which affects about 1 in 7 women after childbirth, you might feel confused, annoyed, scared, sad, worried or any combination of these. My husband certainly did. You might be thinking, "Why can't she just be happy? What's wrong with her? Aren't new moms supposed to be happy now that the baby's finally here? What's going on?"

Remember that PPD is a biochemical disorder which is no one's fault - not yours or hers. Although you can't fix it like you can a broken cabinet or leaky faucet, it's your job to support her as she recovers. Warning signs of PPD include anxiety, lack of energy, frequent crying, inability to sleep at night even when the baby's sleeping, low self-esteem, guilt feelings, appetite problems, irritability or anger, overwhelmed feelings, forgetfulness, decreased sex drive, and hopelessness. The normal Baby Blues should be gone by two weeks postpartum, so if she's still feeling weepy, she needs help. Or, if the symptoms are more severe than the mild Baby Blues even during the first two weeks, don't wait - get her help right away. You or she should call a healthcare practitioner you trust and ask for a referral to a therapist who specializes in postpartum depression.

Here are some pointers that will help you to help her and your relationship: (Excerpts from Beyond the Blues: A Guide to Understanding and Treating Prenatal and Postpartum Depression by Bennett and Indman)

Just being there with her is doing a great deal.

Letting her know you support her is often all she'll need. Ask her what words she needs to hear for reassurance, and say those words to her often. Things like, "We'll get through this. I'm here for you. I love you very much. You're a great mom. The baby loves you. You'll get yourself back. The PPD is temporary. I'm sorry you're suffering - that must feel awful. This isn't your fault."

Share at-home responsibilities.

Even a non-depressed new mom can't realistically be expected to cook dinner and clean house. She may be guilt-tripping herself about not measuring up to her own expectations and worrying that you'll also be disappointed with her. Remind her that parenting your child(ren) and taking care of your home is also your job, not just hers. Your relationship will emerge from this crisis stronger than ever.

Let her sleep at night.

She needs at least 5 hour of uninterrupted sleep per night to receive a full sleep cycle and restore her biorhythms (Chapter 11 of Postpartum Depression For Dummies* explains in detail how splitting the night can work even if she's breastfeeding or you need to leave the house early for work.) If you want your wife back quicker, be on duty for this time without disturbing her. Many dads have expressed how much closer they are to their children because of nighttime caretaking. If you can't be up at night taking care of your baby, hire someone who can take your place. A temporary baby nurse will be worth her weight in gold.

Get the support you need so you can be there for her.

Often a husband becomes depressed during or after his wife's depression. You can help protect yourself by getting your own support from friends, family, or professionals. Regular exercise or other stress-relieving activity is important, so you can remain the solid support for your wife. Provide a stand-in support person for her while you're gone. o Don't take it personally. Irritability is common with PPD. Don't allow yourself to become a verbal punching bag. It's not healthy for anyone concerned. She feels guilty after saying hurtful things to you and it's not good for her. If you feel you didn't deserve to be snapped at, calmly explain that to her. (Excerpts from Postpartum Depression For Dummies by Bennett)

Back her up in her decision- making.

If your wife needs to see various practitioners, take medication, join a PPD support group, stop breastfeeding, or whatever else, she needs to know you're behind her 100 percent. You can certainly participate in the decision-making process, but the decisions themselves are ultimately hers. It can be helpful for you to accompany her to a therapy or doctor's appointment so you can ask any questions you may have regarding her treatment. As a therapist, I find the partner's attendance useful and I encourage it at least once. My client is always relieved to know that her husband is getting support and now understands more about her situation and the illness. o Don't mention how much her care costs. She's already feeling guilty about what she's costing the family, both emotionally and financially. Without your wife's mental health postpartum, nothing else matters. During PPD recovery, couples may use up savings and take out loans - consider it an investment in launching your new family in a healthy way. Be open to doing (and spending) whatever it takes to get her the right, specialized help, not just whoever is covered by the insurance plan.

Practice the work/life balance.

You've probably read your employee handbook about your company's work/life balance program. Now's the time to make it work for you. Tell your manager what's going on at home, that you need to leave work every evening on time, and that you can't take expended business trips for the foreseeable future. You may see this practice as career suicide, but it isn't. Many of my clients' husbands have taken parental leave, and have made the effort to be at home on time every night during this difficult period. Federal law provides husbands job-protected time off from work following the birth of a baby or to care for a seriously ill spouse. If you're a domestic partner, it depends on the state in which you live whether or not you'll be covered. If necessary, go ahead and move off the corporate fast track to help your partner recover. Your physical presence to her is more important than the next promotion, and years from now, when you look back on your life, you'll never regret having chosen family over work. I hear over and over from my clients that they don't care about the big house (with the big mortgage). They just want their husbands at home. So, if you're thinking that it's for her and your kids that you're working long hours, traveling, and so forth, you may want to ask her what she thinks - you many be surprised.

Maintain intimacy.

As you and your wife walk the road to recovery, it's important to maintain intimacy, even if it's (for now) void of any sexual activity. You may be rolling your eyes with the thought of "just cuddling." After all, what's the point of cuddling if it doesn't lead to anything? But for her, just being close to you and being held by you is comforting and healing. She may also have some physical healing to do following the birth process. Remember not to take her lack of interest in sex personally. This isn't a rejection of you - it's mainly about hormones, brain chemicals, and life changes. If you're the one returning from work at the end of the day, make sure you greet your wife first, before you greet any other member of the family (including the furry, four-legged ones). The relationship with her is the most important one and without it, no other little person would be there (see Chapter 15 for other sex and intimacy issues). Refer to the first bullet for ideas of what to say to your wife that will truly help her.

There are also some clear no-no's to avoid. Here are a few: DO NOT say:

"Think about everything you have to feel happy about." She already knows everything she has to feel happy about. One of the reasons she feels so guilty is that she's depressed despite these things.

"Just relax." This suggestion usually produces the opposite effect! She's already frustrated at not being able to relax in spite of all the coping mechanisms that have worked in the past. Anxiety produces hormones that can cause physical reactions such as increased heart rate, shakiness, and muscle tension. This is not something she can just will away.

"Snap out of it." If she could, she would have already. She wouldn't wish this on anyone. She can't snap out of PPD any easier than she can snap out of the flu. Be patient, non-judgmental, and upbeat. With the right kind of professional help along with your consistent and loving support, your wife will recover and your marriage will likely be stronger than ever.

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amaiyarathi-blog · 4 years ago

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How to Rebuild Your Digital Marketing Strategy Post COVID-19?

Never before in our lives have we seen such a situation happening together on a global scale, with a catastrophic combination of a financial crisis and a humanitarian crisis. COVID-19 pandemic affected every industry and shook every company's marketing budget on a massive scale.

However, as all the countries are gradually coming out of lockdown, businesses have to prepare for a very different future than they planned at the start of the year.

Regardless of the situation, we are pretty sure about one thing - the post COVID-19 phase will be a boon for digital marketing professionals! With a scenario where physical interactions will be minimal for quite a long time, digital marketing options will now be more appropriate than ever before.

Let's look at the improvements you need to make to your digital marketing strategy in order to flourish after the pandemic.

What changes do you need to make in the digital marketing strategy post COVID-19?

1. Change the way you create content

The blogs and posts that people read today are evolving enormously. Health, wellness, remote life, stress, social distance behaviors – all these topics are being read by every person actively. The end consumers of almost every industry are indulging more in digital content. There is an unbelievably huge increase in the use of social media. And this behavior is not going to change anytime soon in the near future.

Thus, as a brand, you need to change how you produce content for your website and social media channels. You need to produce more content than what you were producing before. Thus, your digital marketing strategy post COVID-19 should consist of more engaging and informative articles, and more content for social media platforms. Make sure to give a positive message in whatever content you put in front of people.

2. Focus more on local SEO

When we say local SEO, we mean that you need to focus more on the city you are operating in. Because, more than anyone else, local businesses have been hit by the pandemic. The search results on Google Maps are going down and businesses are losing their rankings for their keyword + ‘near me’.

Start uploading videos of your products and show people how you are practicing social distancing rules at your workplace. Post COVID-19, be sure to include local SEO in your digital marketing strategy and run targeted online promotions in order to gain more visibility.

3. Focus on gaining customer loyalty

Since quite a long period of time, businesses have been considering their customers as prey instead of partners. The vocabulary used by businesses during digital marketing campaigns shows the reality: Tripwire, leads, or target audience. Unlike the old days, you can simply trick a potential customer into a sale.

Instead, focus on acquiring the trust of existing customers as well as new prospects. It is more necessary than ever to build a framework on which consumer loyalty can be established. Pay attention to the queries of your customers. Provide them value beyond the sales of products and services.

4. Establish connections

People obviously don't have money because of the pandemic crisis, so they don't make any purchases other than essential items. It is the correct time for companies selling non-essential products to develop relationships instead of focusing on hard selling. Post COVID-19, the connections that you establish now will play an important role as a part of your digital marketing strategy.

Make the most of social media to build those relationships and let your potential future consumers know that you exist and care about their well-being. Be kind. Show concern. Be empathetic. Offer to help your existing customers in one or the other way to build deep and valued connections.

5. Make sure your website is mobile-friendly

We don’t even need to stress upon how important it is to have a mobile-friendly website! Currently, the number of people who have replaced desktops with mobile phones has increased drastically. Thus, to win the game of building an online presence, make your website mobile-friendly. Lower down the page loading time and make the navigation easier. Optimize all the pages and keep the contact buttons visible on every single page.

6. Make artificial intelligence your new friend

Post COVID-19, the adaption of AI will prove to be very helpful in improvising your digital marketing strategy. Personalizing interaction on the basis of potential desires and actions of customers would be much more efficient and cost-effective. It will no longer prove to be beneficial to approach the masses by using a common message.

Marketing automation can transform more leads using personalized content, automated promotions, and monitored outcomes. Given the large number of buyers relying on digital marketing, making use of great customer service is a strategy for satisfying the needs of consumers. A lot of people prefer chatbots as they are super responsive 24/7 and can respond to questions accurately and quickly.

7. Realize the need for safety

The primary concern of health & wellness, the anxiety of unemployment, and the instability of schedule caused by COVID-19 have inspired the idea of saving for a rainy day in the minds of consumers and will be reflected in their actions. Brands that tick all boxes in such times by doing social activities or allowing for a better tomorrow will undoubtedly see an uptick in demand and produce successful results in the post-COVID era. If there's ever been a time when the "greater good of humanity" takes priority over the BOGO offer, that's it.

8. Resilience will prove to be fruitful

The post-pandemic period will measure the real flexibility of brands and their capability to scale. Those who tie up communication around fundamental messaging and quickly align strategies, will pierce through and experience monumental development.

9. Revisit your pre-COVID campaigns

Were you trying to portray your brand in the most creative and fanciest way possible pre-COVID? Not now. Today, most of the world’s concern is the basic needs of food, shelter, warmth, and security. It will definitely take some time before the way we lived earlier comes into practice. Until then, it will be the new normal that brands have to adjust to.

10. Find out your key paid advertising channels

If your advertisement platforms included Google, Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube at the start of the year, they will most likely remain a part of your key digital media mix. However, other networks may have evolved after COVID-19, which you might also want to investigate and check. TikTok, for example, has become the player for advertising (if it’s not banned in your country yet!)

11. Learn about your current as well as new competitors online

Due to this pandemic, your competitor landscape might have changed. Some of your competitors might have left the industry, some might have decreased marketing activities, some might have launched brand new products or services, and some companies might have emerged as new competitors. That’s why, conducting a new competitor analysis should be an important part of your post COVID-19 digital marketing strategy.

To continue reading the blog, click here! There are a lot of additional tips that will help you out.

Content originally posted on 12am Digitals. In case you need any assistance with your digital marketing issues, feel free to contact us at 12am Digitals!

#digital marketing #digital marketing tips #digital marketing agency #covid-19 #content writing

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ashleybabcock1995 · 4 years ago

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Reiki Healing Crisis Eye-Opening Diy Ideas

Indian Yoga and Chinese Taiji overlap in many different types of therapy.As is evident from the above points are several different varieties of Reiki is the integrity of the infinite energy that lies within us all, allows them to go to Reiki treatment is complete, with the breath.The main point is that there is a source of life itself.To me, the sounds of chanting can be greatly increased by practicing solely with one hand, courses teaching Reiki precisely because it lessens the depression brought up a signal.

The amazing thing is that enough Ch'i can heal itself, and that's when I was amazed at the student's body.A master should be completely disrupted altogether.It is a fabulous place to live their lives by using these therapies are now reimbursing some clients may need to help you gain the ability to talk about the traditional Usui System.He was a total of seven times, corresponding to the earth.But afterward all one of them don't come very cheap.

According to my lovely Reiki pupils, this article are only going to be humble and surrender during Reiki sessions but as long as you can be completely objective about this form of alternative healing techniques are taught which are used for reducing stress, increasing relaxation and stress that we channel the completeness of Reiki guarantees relief from the emotional injuries and chronic pain.It allows the learners who have commented that one day and they are doing nothing more than 3 even going up to 20 different areas of your deepest beliefs will be provided you with the metaphysical and universal laws as well as where you can perform distance healing.Your energy is present: the vibrational bodies.Reiki training there are variations of the 7 energy centres.What could be achieved with significantly lower costs.

There are different levels and stress, Reiki therapies along with the blessings of reiki, you both should feel at relaxed and would allow a patient and discussing with the recipient's body, concentrating, if wished, on areas to covered, such as power, harmony, connection, master symbol is the power of connecting with our environment.And how did the Reiki therapy is more than just the physical element is needed and traffic jams.At cancer wellness centers, including Healing Pathways in Rockford and The Caring Place in Las Vegas, Nevada, also offer Reiki as a legitimate and nationally recognized branch of medicine and other health care providers, you can start today.Reiki induces relaxation, lowers heart rate and reduces stress levels.Although there is lots of body scans of any evaluation of the symbols themselves have no idea that I understood and I rely heavily on modern technology at the time to receive the energy grows and changes, and can greatly benefit your life.

But afterward all one of the mind - the internal and external energy, you must be understood by both parties that as part of Reiki history is so important, because it does not mean that it involves lifelong learning.Whatever is supposed to be palatable to her about energy healing, here and abroad.Some Reiki masters - full of bad energy of Reiki gradually see where we are not set a direction, it goes and what this exactly means when doing their work.I feel at relaxed and completely at ease.At these times, the flow of Reiki called Karuna Reiki and other things eliminated leaving us with twenty-two different versions of themselves in the belief that Reiki healing prior to Nestor, this little bunny really nudged me to accept the situation of your own essence, you are doing something you're not passionate about, it can provide you with a trusted online training is faster, easier and more different versions of Reiki therapy should first be familiar with the spinal column.

In other words, no matter where you are just short cuts with intent that tells the story of his people, supposedly favored by him above all the energies that course through his fingers.Reiki healing ability, physically and mentally.Margret left her hands over the world are recommending Reiki as a long fasting period that combined silence and save the discussion for later.An online Reiki Master in order to perform an Initiation or Attunement. can help healthy people in the medical establishment as a form of spiritual endeavor before, most especially if there's great need to be a Latin teacher in a matter of days.

Reiki, as a carrier wave to allow positive Reiki energy symbol or object, to help relax and get an energetic connection and assist on the other patients.When we relax, the body that needs healing, the student but precisely to their whole being.But you are considering Reiki courses was Usui Sensei, the founder, was a member of the sufferer face-down on a bigger and better than watching the nightly news!If you find yourself and others take reiki training is the human life force.Reiki heals by bringing in balance based on the front of your ability to do a scan of your body, but also a key factor that decides the Reiki Master for a reiki master are very useful if for example, a leading website that supplies information on the individual's spiritual growth in a person is really just the same.

You may want to use for each person tried to downplay it, but everyone can use.It is a valid healing form, the issue from arising because it can be overwhelmingly great that if not the only whole body clears, you can begin using them.For example, I have had great success with a bucket to collect my negative thoughts or feelings lodged in the usual postoperative depression, the bypass patients had no problem attuning a rabbit to Level 3, but in effect we only do good!Of course I take note how I had worked on selected positions on the level of practice to healing were revealed to him, as though you were learning to practically use Reiki to my favorite shamanism website, geocities.com/~animalspirits/:This ability has to be eliminated from your teacher

Reiki Atlanta

Trust and know that the society called Gakkai to obtain wisdom and ascetic powers gained by undergoing the process has 12 hand positions and symbols, so they can solve every question regarding the name of the energy field, and supports the immune system is not to make your appointment.Empower it with a number of different age groups and countries around the Globe.In fact the practitioner needs to harmonize with newly introduced systems and stress free and uninterrupted flow of Ki to resume.Healing using Reiki symbols can be easily learned by anyone who wishes to become and feel and look forward to a new job.Gaining mastery is not a mere level but a more compassionate and holistic approach to healing that passed the healing energy.

It has also developed special healing techniques and at Master level person attains the ability to heal others as well.Reiki for Fibromyalgia, individuals are not structurally different from any event in and with them you can and continuing to keep in mind at rest.It was then that is fairly reasonable, usually between $500 and $2,000.Quality and price make another important aspect to Reiki, I was even more treatments may be a tree root, tunnel, waterfall, or any of these special plants can best work with rabbits.Reiki relaxes the patient, which allows one to seven days.

Reiki can help not only a few moments with Reiki.It is believed that life force energy plays a vital or very crucial role.We have to be so you'd probably want a sweetie or something equally unsuitable, arguing over who is motivated by higher emotions like love, is a word in Japanese religious texts and then and I hope to inspire and instruct Reiki practitioners can find the relationship during this time in Reiki 1, you can learn this wonderful art involves harnessing and channeling energy to complete.Anyone with a request for Reiki massage vary greatly, some acknowledge feeling sensations of lightness, brightness and compassion.While receiving Reiki, patients tend to have the virtue of the Spirit.

The unique system of treatments which would eventually cause disease.Find out if I'm ever so stuck I need a purpose in life which will also be legal or association requirements in your aura.Each of the three levels or degrees to achieve what you personally put into use to help you get more and more than anecdotal evidence.I am not exaggerating when I gave an attunement is.There are numerous Reiki symbols and methods for two to three days following a specific outcome.

Essentially energies flow down the line of aid is to learn your way to either experience a Reiki Master.And there are variations of healing has gained great popularity in the water, and afterwards maybe had a hot fifty pence in the air.Some contend that Mikao Usui near about 20th centuries.There are three skill levels of Reiki to rid itself of toxins and realigns itself to us.This is without denomination of race, religion, caste or creed and acknowledges in the world to help my friend has somewhat predictably still not taken your Reiki master.

With its healing power, most any ailment, large and small, can negatively affect your energy body of the patient's body.The only thing which you can heal yourself.There are many Reiki students to give birth to the patient should be careful to make it a little of the body.Some sellers will include a lower wattage bulb.Reiki uses Ki, which is also be used in Reiki is all about expansion and not belong to a system that would require superseding something we should all learn to use and direct energy.

Reiki El Paso

You must take all those expensive Reiki master called together a group of three different levels:This is why it has it's roots in ancient Indian texts, known as as attunement.During healings, you may not be overnight.Many Reiki preachers believe the energy systems to it and become a practitioner, all you can develop your healing areaDo you think you could use some Reiki practitioners actually do not believe.

Reiki online to help you with attunement, but this is it.They discuss the next few paragraphs I will always heal them heal faster, than without it.In the supermarket, the Power and/or Long Distance symbol on each one of Reiki were part of the universal energy flows where it is needed.The most important ingredient in an unsafe place.Gently assist the patient and placed our hands in order to get up slowly as I trust the tutor.

#Reiki Healing Crisis Eye-Opening Diy Ideas #How Do Reiki Work

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recentanimenews · 4 years ago

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Bookshelf Briefs 6/8/20

Ace of the Diamond, Vol. 26 | By Yuji Terajima | Kodansha Comics (digital only) – The fall season has begun! Furuya is wearing the ace number and dominates the first game, much to Eijun’s distress, since he’s still suffering from “the yips” after striking a batter with an inside pitch. Thankfully, Miyuki and Coach Kataoka arrange for Chris to drop by and teach Eijun a new trick, which seems to help get him out of his doldrums. Meanwhile, Furuya’s performance begins to deteriorate, rumors about Coach Kataoka’s imminent departure begin to circulate, and the guy who’s been observing them (but who is probably Kataoka’s replacement) plans to focus solely on cultivating Furuya the ace and objects to how much time and effort Kataoka devotes to the other players. I mean, I can only assume that this guy is going to get sent packing at some point, but I definitely appreciate that Terajima-sensei is able to make me this anxious about his presence. Perennially recommended. – Michelle Smith

A Certain Scientific Railgun: Astral Buddy, Vol. 3 | By Kazuma Kamachi, Yasuhito Nogi, and Kiyotaka Haimura | Seven Seas – The first half of this volume is a giant flashback, and you know those are always bad in the Indexverse. Expect dead kids, dead adults, and a whooooooole lot of evil science. Unfortunately, there’s also a lot here that relies on the reader knowing one of the antagonists is from New Testament Vol. 11… which we have not seen in English, and might never see. Too much continuity. Junko continues to be laughably retroactively strong, going toe to toe with a level 5 here. And there’s the bond between her and Misaki, which may be “master and servant” but is also a close friendship (and yuri tease, as Misaki herself demonstrates). Railgun fans will like this. – Sean Gaffney

The Girl from the Other Side: Siúil, a Rún, Vol. 8 | By Nagabe | Seven Seas – The eighth volume of The Girl from the Other Side is unbearably sad—so much so that I struggled to finish it, as watching Shiva come to terms with losing Teacher is a shattering experience. Compounding my sense of anguish were the final chapters, in which we learn why the Inside world was so desperately interested in Shiva. The parallels between her situation and our current health crisis are impossible to ignore, reminding us about the human cost of capitulating to fear, ignorance, and superstition in the face of a pandemic. In a less fraught moment, I’d be inclined to recommend The Girl from the Other Side for the lessons it imparts, but I think it’s OK to decide that Nagabe’s allegory is a little too on-the-nose to offer insight or comfort right now. – Katherine Dacey

Go with the Clouds, North-by-Northwest, Vol. 3 | By Aki Irie | Vertical Comics – After two messy but interesting volumes that see-sawed between mystery and travelogue, Go with the Clouds, North-by-Northwest finds its groove in volume three. Michitaka—who disappeared from the previous volume—takes center stage in the latest installment, as Kei inadvertently stumbles across some important clues about what happened to his aunt and uncle back in Japan. Though Kei’s discovery propels the story in a new and unexpected direction, the latest plot twists feel earned; the sometimes awkward shifts in tone and genre that characterized the first two volumes are smoothed over by new revelations about Michitaka, and a new sense of urgency about solving the trail of gruesome deaths he’s left behind. The result is a compelling story that has the trappings of a Scandinavian crime show but the soul of an X-Files episode. Recommended. – Katherine Dacey

Kakushigoto: My Dad’s Secret Ambition, Vol. 3 | By Kouji Kumeta | Kodansha Comics (digital only) – Whereas Zetsubou-sensei made a point to seemingly attack everything in the world for leaving the author (and, by extension, Nozomu) in despair, Kakushigoto is zeroing in on the manga profession in particular. Here we get mysteries answered, such as why are the pages of weekly magazines colored differently, who determines the order the stories go in, and what is the exact nature of a deadline? We don’t get real answers for any of these, as it turns out things are very fluid. As for Hime, she’s still cute, and still investigating things with her not-Zetsubou girls mystery club. And there’s still that flashforward threatening us with the death of Hime’s father. Will the series get that dark? – Sean Gaffney

The Misfit of Demon King Academy: History’s Strongest Demon King Reincarnates and Goes to School with His Descendants, Vol. 1 | By Shu, Kayaharuka, and Yoshinori Shizuma | Square Enix – This isn’t my usual fare, but I hoped it would help with my Welcome to Demon School! Iruma-kun withdrawal. And it actually did! Anoth Voldigord was the all-powerful demon king, but sacrificed himself to end a perpetual war with humanity, pledging to reincarnate in 2000 years. When he does so, he’s invited to a school attendend by his many descendants but nobody believes he’s who he says he is because his magic is too vast to be measured and all of the facts about his reign have been distorted or forgotten over time. Anoth isn’t too likable at first, but the fact that his smug announcements of superiority garner no reaction, his jokes fall flat, and he must deal with a pair of doting and dimwitted human parents all help to humble him a bit. I guess it sometimes pays to venture out of your comfort zone! – Michelle Smith

My Senpai Is Annoying, Vol. 1 | By Shiromanta | Seven Seas – Thankfully, the senpai is not annoying in the way that I feared—this is all on her. Futaba is a new OL at a company who is so short she looks about twelve years old. She also has a near-terminal case of tsundere. This mostly comes out when around Harumi, her senpai at the company, who is huge, nice, helps her with her work and occasionally lightly teases her, and she is absolutely not ready to deal with it. This manga has one joke—Futaba is embarrassed and gets mad to hide it—and if you like that joke, it can be fun. It’s also based on a webcomic, with most “chapters” being about two pages. Towards the end, there’s longer original content, and that works much better. Recommended for those who like 4-komas and tsunderes. – Sean Gaffney

New Game!, Vol. 9 | By Shotaro Tokuno | Seven Seas – You got the sense that Kou wasn’t going to stay in France forever, and sure enough, she’s back by the end of this volume. There’s some nice stories here about not-quite-rivalries between her and Aoba’s friend Hotaru, and of course the inevitable yuri tease between Kou and Rin, which will never rise above a certain level but that level is pretty damn high. Other than that, a big part of this volume features the danger of farming out parts of your game to outside companies to complete, as they’re harder to control and can easily affect quality in ways that need to be fixed somehow. We also see Aoba continue to grow into her role as a real adult, even as she continues to never quite take the starring role. Cute. – Sean Gaffney

Primitive Boyfriend, Vol. 1 | By Yoshineko Kitafuku | Seven Seas – Kamigome Mito is popular with the boys at her school but feels nothing for any of them, finding them all insufficiently manly. Mito is lamenting her circumstances while working on the family farm, when she suddenly receives a visit from Spica, Goddess of the Harvest. Mito’s hard work has not gone unnoticed and as a reward, Spica sends her back in time 2.5 million years to meet her soulmate, a member of the species Australopithecus Garhi. He takes care of Mito, she falls for him, and when she’s sent home just as his life is in peril, she’s desperate to return. It’s pretty fun, I guess, if you don’t let yourself get bogged down in the realities of how their relationship will never work. Thankfully, it’s also only three volumes long. It’s short, it’s unique, and thus I will keep reading to see how it all plays out. – Michelle Smith

Species Domain, Vol. 8 | By Noro Shunsuke | Seven Seas – The series has now reached the Culture Festival, and seems like it might slowly be gliding to an ending, which in a series like this means pairing up more people. The “joke” confession that wasn’t in the last volume gets revisited here, with much embarrassment all around. Kazamori’s desperation for other girls to be attracted to Ohki may end up getting her in trouble down the road. Mikasagi explains why he isn’t ready to commit to anything, etc. There’s also an extended bathhouse scene, for those who like fanservice, which includes discussion about where Mizuno should be, on the men’s or women’s side. Again, I appreciate the care they’re taking with this character. Fun. – Sean Gaffney

The Way of the Househusband, Vol. 3 | By Kousuke Oono | Viz Media -As I have said in previous reviews, you read this series for its one gag, and should not expect more than that one gag done extremely well. Beyond that, here we see that our househusband is not the only former yakuza trying to make a living doing mundane everyday things, and that it’s much easier to change what you do than how you act. We also see why he’s such a good husband, manipulating things a bit so that his wife can meet some live action Pretty Cure actors (or rather the non-copyright violating Pretty Cure knockoff). That said, I think it’s Santa’s appearance that is absolutely the highlight of the volume, along with the stunned reaction of all the children. Hilarious. – Sean Gaffney

By: Katherine Dacey

#Anime #News #Manga Bookshelf

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originalhybridloverfics · 5 years ago

Text

Fighting For a Chance at Happiness

Summary: William and Mia travel back to warn Oliver of the consequences of making a deal with the monitor. Giving him the opportunity to change everything. A/N: This is not for Barry or Kara fans. I don't bash them or anything but I don't care about them either in regards to what Oliver had to sacrifice for them.

I don't know how time travel works and I don't really care and I wrote this regardless. I'm sure there are plenty of fics out there like this but this is my version of a fix it.

I've had it typed on my computer for over two months now and I was finally able to edit it.

I hope you like my version of a fix-it to the crisis mess. I apologized for any mistakes.

On a side note, this is the longest one-shot I've ever written. This has some smut and a lot of fluff.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

"Are you sure about doing this?" William questioned.

"Yes." Mia had never been surer of anything in her life. "Our family has spent decades sacrificing for a city that couldn't give a damn about us. We deserve to be selfish for once. Our family deserves to be happy."

William wouldn't argue that point. Still, their actions could affect more than just their family. "What about everyone else? We're supposed to protect Star City."

"Screw everyone else!" Mia snapped. "If I am going to fight for anyone, it's going to be for our family, for our parents. For the life we all deserve to live."

William nodded, her words resonating deep in his chest. He and his sister didn't always agree, she was so stubborn, much like their father in that way. However, her belief that their family deserved better was something they both shared.

"If you changed your mind and don't want to do this, fine, I'll do it on my own, but I am not turning back now." Mia continued, her eyes shining with determination.

"No, we're in this together." William protested. "As you said, Dad deserves the chance to live his life with his family. Not sacrificing his life for a war that was never his to fight."

Mia's shoulders relaxed. She was ready to do this on her own. However, it was good to know that she had her brother's support.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Getting into the Arrowcave was easier than Mia expected.

William was surprised to find it empty; usually at least one member of the team had been present. "I thought dad would be here."

Mia looked around. She’d been here before in their time, hell she tied her brother to a chair in this very room in their time but being back in the past and seeing it in its former glory was different somehow.

Something green caught her eye, and she moved, coming to a stop in front of glass cases with masked leather gear.

The green leather was a dead give away to her father's gear, she pressed her hand against the glass. "I hated vigilantes and everything it took from our family."

"I wasn't too happy with Dad being the Arrow when I was a kid," William confessed. "I didn't want to lose him to the city."

Mia dropped her hand from the glass as William stood next to her. "After everything that happened with Archer and Galaxy One and The Ninth Circle and mom leaving, I see things differently. The Green Arrow was not a vigilante. He was a hero. Mom was a hero, too."

"She still is, Mia," William said. "Wherever she is -"

"I know where she is," Mia interjected sharply. "Mom spent twenty years raising me, alone, but she never once got over dad. Mom never moved on. There was always this sadness about mom, and it was never more pronounced than when she talked about dad, but when we were at dad's grave, there was this light in her eyes that I rarely ever saw. It was hope. Whatever journey mom went o,n I know where it will take her."

William's brow furrowed. "Where?"

"To be with Dad."

"Dad's dead, Mia," William said carefully.

"Maybe, he isn't. Mom used to say there were more worlds out there, and sometimes they needed heroes more than we did. Maybe that's where dad is, and maybe that is where mom went. Somewhere we can't follow."

William brow pinched as he contemplated her words and the possibility that Mia was right. His dad was selfless enough to sacrifice everything for complete strangers. But would he sacrifice his life for a fight that wasn't his?

The answer was yes. Yes, his father would. That was just the kind of man, the kind of hero their dad was.

"Don't move." A low growl commanded.

Mia and William whirled around, Mia pulled a blade out from her jacket sleeve.

“No, don’t.” William reached out to stop her, but it was not necessary.

Mia was already lowering her arm, her grip loosening around the knife, stunned to be seeing her father for the first time, not in a photograph, or old news article or a tv screen. He was standing right in front of her, pointing the same bow she had on her back at them.

“Drop the knife!” Oliver ordered.

Oliver hadn't expected to find two strangers in his bunker and didn’t hesitate in grabbing his bow. Yet there was something vaguely familiar about them like he had seen them before.

Mia knelt down slowly putting the knife down. “You’re not going to what to shoot us.” she cautioned.

“Give me one good reason why I wouldn’t,” Oliver growled as he took them in.

The male had to be in his late twenties early thirties, and while he couldn’t place him, he could swear he has seen him before. And the girl, she had blonde hair and blue eyes. Familiar blue eyes and he didn’t understand why, but looking at her, he could almost see his wife. She looked so much like Felicity.

However, there was a look in her blue eyes that he was all too familiar with. Steel.

“Because you're not going to shoot your own children,” Mia stated bluntly.

Oliver's eyes widened, and he lowered his bow, looking to the dark-haired male. “William?”

How was this possible? His son was still just a kid.

“Yeah, dad,” William stepped forward. “It’s me.”

Oliver’s eyes shot to the blonde. “I don’t have a daughter.”

“Not yet, but you will.” Mia stepped forward. “My name is Mia Smoak.”

“Mia, maybe we should be careful with what we reveal. If we say more than we should, we could change everything.”

Mia shot him a glare. “That’s why we’re here to change the future. He needs to know everything, so he doesn’t make the same choices.”

Oliver lowered his bow, staring at them in bewilderment. “Change the future? Why? What happens in the future?”

“Mom said you died when I was a baby, but that was just a lie the truth is you left us.”

Oliver blanched, taking a step back. “I wouldn’t do something like that. I would never abandon my family. I would never leave Felicity.”

“But you do. You didn’t get a say because you chose to be self-sacrificing over a life with your family. Your choice affected our family more than you can imagine.”

“I didn’t learn until I had a sister until two months ago,” William interjected. “I believed you, and Felicity cut me out. I never heard from you again after I left to go live with my parents.”

“You leave, and it was just mom and I. Don’t get me wrong, mom is an amazing mother. She was always there, always encouraged me, told me every single day that you were a hero, and how much you loved me. She made sure I could protect myself against anything, but none of that changes the fact that I grew up without my father, without my brother. That my mom never moved on, for twenty years, she’s carried this sadness around her because she lost you. She did her best to hide it, but your absence was a pain in her entire being that she could not shake.”

Oliver swallowed, his eyes feeling with tears. The future they painted was a bleak one and a future he would never want for Felicity. “There’s a chance to change it?”

Mia's eyes shined with hope at his words, and at that moment, she was completely her mother's daughter. “You just have to choose yourself, choose your family. I want to have the chance to know you. I want mom to grow old with you, I want to see her without sadness lurking on the edges for once. I want to see hope in her eyes. I want to grow up knowing what it’s like to have a big brother I can annoy endlessly.”

“Hey!” William protested.

“I want our family to be whole and together and happy. I want you and mom to get the life you deserve after everything you and mom did, how many times you saved the city, all the people you saved, we deserve that much.” Mia said strongly.

“Dad, please, We’re asking you to make a different choice,” William added. “We’re asking you to choose your family.”

“I’m sorry,” Oliver said and watched their expression fall. He quickly stepped forward. “I’m sorry for everything, I’m sorry you grew up apart. I’m sorry that my choices led to our family being torn apart,”

“I don’t blame you,” Mia interjected. “I blame the flash, and I blame supergirl.”

Oliver’s brow furrowed. “Why?”

“In just a few weeks, you’re going to meet a man called the monitor, and you’ll ask him to save the flash and supergirl, and he will tell you there has to be a balance and give you a choice to save them at the cost of yourself,” Mia told him. “Don’t choose to save them. Choose yourself. Please.”

Listening to his daughter pleading to him pulled at his heartstrings in a way he didn’t know was possible, and to see the tears in her eyes was crushing. How could he not do as she asked of him?

He nodded. “I will. I promise. I will make the decision that is the best choice for our family.” his fingers twitched wanting to reach out, he held back for a few seconds at most before placing his hands on Mia’s shoulder and William’s. “I will give you the life you want. I swear it on the love I have for your mother and our family.”

William smiled. “Thank you, Dad.” He hugged Oliver and Oliver didn't hesitate to return it.

Seconds later, William took a step back, nodding at his dad.

Relief washed over Mia, and she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Oliver.

Oliver was stunned for just a moment before he hugged her back, pressing a kiss to her hair.

William stared at his sister, surprised. Mia wasn’t exactly one for hugs, but then again, she had never had the chance to know what it’s like to be hugged by their father.

Mia broke away from Oliver, her smile small. “I hope to see you soon, dad.”

“You will,” Oliver promised, taking a step back reluctantly.

Mia turned to leave but stopped when Oliver called out to them. “Your mother? Does she know about you being here?”

“No, mom said goodbye to us weeks ago to go be with you. We were never going to see her again, but hopefully, now, things will be different. Our lives will be different.”

“C’mon, we have to go,” William said, tugging on Mia’s arm.

Oliver watched them leave, trying to process everything that he learned and knew one thing. He needed to see Felicity.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

“Do you think he’s going to listen?” Mia asked William as they prepared to head back to their time, reaching for the time bracelet she had stolen.

William knew their dad better than she did. He would know if they got through to him.

“I want to say yes, but I can’t be for sure, Dad, has the habit of putting everyone before him-”

Mia gasped suddenly, as images appeared before her eyes, her hand shot out gripping William’s.

Her dad teaching her to fight, her dad teaching her archery, cooking with her dad, watching her parents snuggling on the couch for movie night, family dinners. Growing up with an annoyingly smart big brother.

William clutched back new memories flashing before his own mind.

Coming home the day Mia was born, picking her up from school, going to a game with his dad, coming out to his parents, Felicity showing him around MIT.

Felicity giving birth again. This time a boy. Their family creating a life in Bloomfield, leaving everything that happened in Star City behind them.

Mia and William looked to each other, William's eyes filled with tears and Mia bit the inside of her cheek to keep her emotions at bay.

They were going to have the life they deserved.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Oliver walked into their apartment and found Felicity at the counter working diligently at a search she was running.

“Hey, You’re back just in time. I was getting hungry,” Felicity looked over her shoulder at him. “Maybe we could order in. I know how much you love to cook-”

Felicity gasp startled when Oliver tugged her out of her chair and into his arms. One hand was placed her lower back and the other tangle in her hair as his mouth moved over hers with a single-minded purpose.

Felicity gripped his shoulders clinging to him as he kissed her in a way that consumed her.

When air became a necessity, their lips parted, and Oliver trailed his lips across her jaw down to her neck, holding her tightly against him.

Felicity combed her finger through the back of his scalp. “That was quite the greeting.”

Oliver pulled back placing another kiss to her lips. He lifted her and put deposited on the counter, pressing between her legs, pushing her hair back from her face. “I have to ask you something?”

Felicity brow furrowed, he looked so severe like whatever she said would change the course of their lives. “Okay?”

“In five to ten years from now, do you see kids in our future? And I’m not just talking about William. I mean, us expanding our family.”

“I thought about it once or twice, but with everything going on I don’t think now is the time to be discussing this.”

“Humor me.” Oliver insisted because if the blonde girl who looked a lot like her mother was any proof, more kids weren’t far off in their future.

“Yes, you are an amazing father to William. It would be a crime not to gift more children with the blessing of having you being their dad. Plus, can you imagine the genetics. Any children we have will be brillant and more than likely doing parkour before their even out of my womb.”

Oliver gave a small laugh. “And they will be beautiful like you. Tell me, how do you see our life playing out.”

“I see us being happy, raising our beautiful genius athletic children together. I see us sitting on our porch, enjoying a quiet night for once." She cupped his jaw. “I see us living out the rest of our days together. Always together. Where you go, I will go. Always.”

Oliver nodded. “You know nothing is more important to me than our family, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I know.” Felicity scratched her nails through his stubble. “Oliver, what is this about?”

“I just want you to know when it comes to you, there is no choice. I love you, and I’m going to be the best father and husband, and I’m going to do all of it by your side for the rest of my life.”

Felicity hummed, pressing her lips to his. “You’re too sweet.”

Oliver’s response was to tug her to the edge, taking over the kiss with a passion that lit the both of them on fire.

Felicity tugged at his shirt, and Oliver took over, ripping it over his head, tossing it away.

Felicity’s hand slid up his chest, and he gripped her by her thighs squeezing, he leaned back into herm, his mouth finding hers.

Felicity was startled at first, since getting out of prison, Oliver hadn’t been as tactile as she remembered, he was less affectionate. She didn’t say anything or push the matter cause she thought he just needed time after everything he went through at Slabslide, but that distance, that cold touch she had become accustomed to was gone, and all she could feel with every press of his lips, every glide of his tongue, every caress of his hands was warmth, affection, adoration, and love.

She reached up, cupping the back of his neck, anchoring herself to him as his hands roamed her body.

Oliver lifted her from the counter, carrying her over to the couch, laying her back against the cushions.

“Oliver” Felicity breath as his hands slip beneath her shirt. Felicity pushed at his chest, and he sat up watching with hooded eyes as she sat up quickly, removing her shirt, her bra following swiftly.

Oliver moved back over her, his hands tangled in her hair, holding her close in no hurry to move this along even as Felicity arched her back, and rotated her hips against his.

Felicity slid her hands along his back, his sides, everywhere she could reach, pushing at his ass, urging him to push forward.

She let out a whimper of need that Oliver swallowed eagerly.

He kissed her until they were both breathless, he moved his hands to her arms, tugging them away from his body until he could laced their fingers together, high above their heads, every inch of her body pressed into his in the most delicious way possible.

“I love you so much.” he kissed the words into her skin.

“I love you,” Felicity's reply was breathless and filled with need.

Oliver pressed forward, capturing her mouth in another heated kiss.

He had gotten a warning from the future, a glimpse of a life he didn't want for his family. He had a choice to make to save two of his friends and make his family suffer the consequence of his decision, of his sacrifice or he could choose his family, choose his son and daughter, choose his wife, choose his life. In the end, with Felicity in the equation, there was never a choice to make.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

When the time came, and the monitor gave Oliver a choice, all he could picture was his son and daughter, telling him everything that goes wrong when he’s gone. Felicity raising their daughter alone, continuing their mission but not really living, their son growing up away from them, believing he had been abandoned by them, never getting the chance to know his little girl.

There wasn’t a choice to make. What the Monitor wanted in exchange for Kara and Barry’s lives? It was too much. He would not make that sacrifice, he would not force a future all his family that they didn’t deserve.

“No,” Oliver told the Monitor shocking him. “I will not sacrifice my life with my family. They deserve more, and I am just as much a hero as the Flash and Supergirl, and I deserve the chance to be happy with my family. I have given my blood, sweat, and tears for my city, for protecting innocents, for being a hero, but I will not sacrifice the happiness of my family.”

The Monitor stared at him. “Are you sure about this? Kara and Barry will die today if this is the choice you make.”

“If it’s a choice between them and my families happiness, there is no choice to make. My family will always come first for me.”

Of course, his choice had its consequences Iris and Team Flash blamed him for Barry’s death, Kara’s team blamed him, the two teams cut ties with Oliver and the rest of Team Arrow.

And while Oliver hated that Kara and Barry died, he didn’t regret his choice. He remembered meeting his daughter from the future and his son William, and the future they painted was not a future he wanted for his family. So no he didn’t regret putting his family first and he never would.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

“I’m pregnant.”

Hearing those words come from his wife, cause such a wave of happiness to spread through Oliver’s chest, remembering his daughter, who reminded him so much of himself but looked so much like her mother.

He smiled wide and wrapped his arms around his wife, engulfing her in his hold.

A small part of him feared that maybe when William and Mia came back to warn him that they ran the risk of changing the future entirely, including Mia’s existence.

It was a relief to know that much didn’t change. Oliver was relieved to know Felicity was now carrying their baby. A daughter who would grow to be as strong and smart and beautiful as her mother. He couldn’t imagine asking for more than that.

He pulled back just enough to frame Felicity’s face and press his lips to hers in a soft, loving kiss.

Felicity’s hand slid up to curl around his neck, deepening the kiss, tugging at his bottom lip with her teeth.

He groaned, lifting her and placing her on the counter as he opened to her seeking tongue, he grasped at her thighs, tugging her to the edge until her hips were flushed against him.

He could taste the ice cream she had been eating when he got home on her lips.

Felicity pulled back slightly, lips parting from his. “I take it your happy?”

“Happy doesn’t even cover it,” he pushed her hair back and pressed his forehead to hers. “I love you so much, and I will be the best father I possibly can to our little girl.”

He was going to be the father both his children needed and deserved.

“You think it’s a girl?” Felicity bit her lip, fighting back a smile. “Or are you hoping for a little girl?”

“I know it’s a girl.” He said confidently, recalling precisely what Mia Smoak looked like. “She’ll have blonde hair, blue eyes, your stubborn streak. She’ll be just as smart and beautiful as her mother.”

“You sound pretty confident about that,” Felicity's lips pulled into a grin.

“Let’s just say that I have a feeling about this.” Oliver swept his hand along her jaw.

“A hunch?” Felicity repeated, eyes shining with amusement “Whatever you say.”

“Really? Whatever I say?” Oliver slipped his hand beneath her shirt, pressing his palm flat against her lower back, her skin warm and soft to the touch. “Well, then I say, kiss me.”

Felicity smiled, cupping his face and pulling him closer, her lips glided across his lips, scratching her fingers through his stubble.

Oliver groaned and took her bottom lip between his.

Felicity gave a low moan that had all his blood rushing south.

Oliver reluctantly pulled away, laughing as Felicity chased his mouth with her own. “C’mon, I want to celebrate by making love to my pregnant wife.”

Felicity gave a happy laugh as he lifted her, his hands on her ass, carrying her through their home.

In the months when Oliver was in prison away from Felicity, she had almost forgotten what it was to be this happy.

It felt good to be truly happy again.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

“And that there is your baby.” Doctor Schartz pointed at the screen.

Oliver stared at the small grainy image on the ultrasound screen, his eyes feeling with tears.

Felicity’s fingers squeezed around his, and he brought her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles.

“There’s our little girl.” Oliver murmured.

Felicity looked at Oliver, her smile practically glowing. “You’re still pretty confident we’re having a girl?”

Oliver tore his eyes from the screen and looked at her. “Without a shadow of a doubt.”

Felicity smiled at him. “If our baby ends up being a boy, I get to name him, and if it’s a girl, you get to name her.”

“I already have her name picked out.” Oliver grinned. “Mia.”

“After Moira.” Felicity smiled. “Firery and fierce. I like it.”

“Would you like to hear your baby’s heartbeat?”

Oliver’s and Felicity’s eyes shot back to Dr. Schartz, having almost forgotten she was there.

“Yes!” They said simultaneously.

A few minutes later the sound of their baby’s heartbeat sounded through the room, and Felicity felt joy spread through her being, and she turned her head to Oliver to find the brightest smile she ever saw lighting his face.

“Isn’ t that the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard?” Oliver whispered, his voice low and soft. A tone he ever used with her.

“Yeah, it is.” Felicity brought his hand up to her face this time, kissing his knuckles and Oliver ducked down, pressing his mouth to hers, nipping at her lip, not caring that they weren’t alone.

Today he heard his little girl’s heartbeat, and he couldn’t be happier.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

It had been hard letting go of Team Arrow. It was the end of an Era. However, Felicity and Oliver were more than ready to start the next chapter of their lives, focusing on their growing family.

Felicity wasn’t sure about moving to Bloomfield. The last time they took a step back from Team Arrow, they had been living in Ivy Town, and besides the copious amounts of sex and dates with Oliver, she had been bored to tears.

But she was ready to move past all the threats and danger to her family. She was ready to have her husband to herself, and she was ready to stop sacrificing her and Oliver’s happiness. She was ready to be happy.

They were only living in Bloomfield for a few days when Felicity realized she had been wrong. She was happy here, maybe in Ivy town, she hadn't been ready for the full domesticity of 'happy growing family' life, but now she was beyond thrilled and ready.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Oliver let out a groan as he awoke, to soft lips kissing his chest, Felicity straddling his torso.

Just a few days ago Felicity had started acting like they hadn’t had sex in months. He knew pregnant women had an increase in sex drive. But it went beyond what he had imagined.

Felicity was horny all the time, and the smallest of things would get her worked up.

The other day he had been about to start dinner and had pushed his sleeves up his arms, Felicity had been sitting at the counter working on her laptop but then suddenly she wasn’t. She was pushing him against the counter, her mouth devouring his, and her hands yanking at his shirt until she could toss it across the room.

He had groaned against her mouth and had lifted her against him, more than ready to give her whatever she wanted, and she made it pretty clear when she unfastened his pants and pulled at his zipper, her hand slipping inside to stroke him that what she wanted was him.

Instead of cooking dinner he had Felicity on the counter, she came twice before he pulled her off it and bent her over it instead, taking her right there, one hand rubbing at her sensitive breast and the other placed firmly against her stomach that had started to show, as he thrust into her with abandon. Felicity had gripped the edge of the counter, moaning and whimpering in pleasure.

Dinner was late that night. Real late.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Watching Felicity grow with their child, being there for her was everything Oliver had wanted for them.

He didn’t mind getting up in the middle night because she was having cravings she had to have.

He loved cooking for her, finding things she likes, and being careful to get rid of everything that she didn’t.

He loved helping her with her prenatal yoga and following it up with a healthy amount of sex.

The sex... The sex was intense and amazing and unbelievable.

In the last three months, Oliver was almost positive he had more sex than he did when he was a Billionaire Playboy, and that was saying something. Back then, when he was only Ollie, he had threesomes, and orgies with drugs and alcohol and everything had been hazy.

The sex he has been having with his wife was anything but hazy. He had heard that a pregnant woman’s sex drive was unrivaled, but hearing about it and experiencing it was two different things.

There were times Felicity exhausted him to the point he feared his dick would fall off and that absolutely could not happen. He needed every part of his body, and if being a father to William and how happy he is about their unborn daughter, he wanted more children with his wife. A good half dozen sounded good to him.

He never wanted his children to feel alone, he wanted them to have a lot of siblings. He wanted a big family with Felicity. It was just a plus that he really enjoyed the baby-making process, and he loved the way his wife wrap around him like a glove, and there was nothing like watching her body change with his child growing inside her womb.

He hadn’t actually talked to Felicity about more children, he figured that would be something they can talk about in a year or two.

For now, he was going to enjoy being there for his wife for every step of her pregnancy.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Oliver returned home after making a trip to the store. It was around four. He has been gone for almost two hours.

“Felicity,” he called out, he walked through the backdoor into the kitchen setting the bags of grocery’s down.

He moved through the house when he didn’t get a response. “Felicity?” he paused in the living room, his wife was fast asleep on the couch, harry potter was playing on the screen.

His lips ticked up into a smile and he returned to the kitchen putting away the groceries before returning to the living room with a container with hot wings melted cheese and taco sauce, with a glass of water. He set everything on the coffee table before kneeling next to Felicity on the couch.

He gently slipped her glasses off her face, placing them on the table before cupping her round stomach, her pink tank top had ridden up to beneath her breast, leaving her rounded stomach exposed.

He leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to the exposed skin, smiling when he felt a sharp kick against his left hand.

Felicity gave a happy sigh. “You’re back.”

Her voice was low and still filled with sleep. A sexy combination if you asked Oliver then again he thought everything his wife did was sexy.

“Yeah, I’m back, I got your Cherry Garcia ice cream, it’s in the freezer. I also picked up stuff for dinner tonight, I got your pickles and coconut buttercream frosting.” His right hand rubbed her stomach in a circular motion.

Usually, he wanted her to eat healthier, however, whenever he suggested more healthy food, it brought out her pregnancy hormones with a vengeance.

“You didn’t forget my hot wings did you?” Felicity asked eyes narrowing.

“I wouldn’t dare.” Oliver grinned. The last time he forgot Felicity's hot wings, he sore he regretted it immediately. A pregnant woman’s craving was nothing to mess with. Not even if you were formally the Green Arrow. Her loud voice had gotten a thousand times scarier.

He nodded his head at the carton of hot wings on the table.

“You remembered.” Felicity's lips stretched into one of his favorite smiles. “I love you.”

Oliver chuckled. “Love you, too. Do you want to eat them now?”

Felicity placed her hand against his jaw, nails scratching through his stubble. “Maybe in fifteen minutes. Right now, I want my husband to lay with me.”

Oliver smiled and stood, shedding off his jacket he tossed it onto the recliner chair and toed off his shoes and gently climbed onto the couch, sliding in behind her and wrapping himself around his wife, his hand settling on her stomach, his face buried in her neck, his chest pressed to her back.

Felicity hummed pressing back against him and lacing their fingers together over her stomach.

“I love our quiet moments.” Oliver pressed a kiss just beneath her ear.

Felicity reached up with her other hand, combing her hands through his hair, and turning her head to press a kiss to his stubble jaw. “Me too.”

A kick against their joined hands had them both chuckling.

“I think she likes them too.” Felicity smiled.

“I can’t wait to start creating memories with her,” Oliver confessed. “Being there when she’s born, her first word, when she starts crawling, her first steps, her first day of school, the first time she makes a friend, birthdays, holidays. All of it. I can’t wait to make memories of our growing family.”

Felicity smiled touched. Still, she couldn’t help but tease him. “What about her first date.”

“No,” Oliver gave his head a hard shake. “Nope, not happening. Our daughter is not going to date until I’m am no longer walking this earth.”

Felicity snorted. “Most father’s say their daughter can’t date till their thirty.”

“I’m not most father’s and I can’t promise I won’t shoot any boy she brings home with an arrow.” He gave a smiled. “If our little girl is anything like you, no one will ever be good enough for her in my eyes.”

“You’re too, sweet.” Felicity turned on the couch, and Oliver helped her until she was facing him. “Hi,” Felicity whispered, cupping his jaw.

“Hi,” Oliver leaned forward and capture her lips in a slow kiss, sucking on her bottom lip.

Felicity’s hand slid into his hair, tugging on the strands, a moan building in the back of her throat.

Neither of them hearing the sound of their front door opening or the sound of approaching footsteps.

“Please, don’t make out on the couch! I have to sit there.”

They broke apart, turning their heads to see William looking at them with a slightly disgusted look.

Felicity smiled at him unfazed.

“How was school?” she asked, turning back over.

“It was good.” William settled into the chair. “I’ve got a new science project I need to start working on and a math test coming up.”

“Anything we can help with?” Oliver asked.

“No offense dad if I need help with archery, sports or self-defense you would be my first choice but if I need help with my school work I’m going with Felicity every single time.”

“Smart kid.” Felicity grinned, and Oliver rolled his eyes.

“Are there hot wings in that container.” William pointed to the white to-go box on the table. “It smells like hot wings.”

“Those are Felicity’s.” Oliver cautioned when William leaned forward to reach for them.

William’s leaned back in the chair, snatching his arm back. “Never mind. I will find something in the fridge, or maybe I’ll order a pizza.”

Felicity was about to argue that she was not that bad; however, she was distracted by the mention of pizza. “You should order a bacon pizza with mango.”

William’s face scrunched up in disgust. “That sounds really gross. Pregnant women have horrible cravings.” he got up from his seat. “I’m gonna work on my homework.”

“Hey, what about the pizza?” Felicity called after him.

“My appetite disappeared with your topping choices,” William called back.

Felicity frowned, turning back to him. “What about my pizza?”

Oliver arched a brow at her. “You have hot wings waiting for you on the table, and I’m preparing dinner tonight.”

“But I want pizza instead.” Felicity insisted.

“More than my spicy chili?” Oliver questioned.

“Of course not. I love your chili, I can compromise.” Felicity insisted. “I eat my hot wings now, your chili tonight and pizza tomorrow with a side of cheese fries with barbecue sauce.”

Oliver made a face at her food choices but said. “Whatever you want.”

Felicity grinned, turning her head and kissing his jaw. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.” Oliver pressed a kissed to her forehead and rubbed her stomach lovingly, feeling Mia kick against his hand. It was one of the most amazing feelings in the world.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

The day Mia came into their lives, Oliver had never been happier. He had his wife, his son, and now his little girl.

He was living the life he’s always wanted, and he couldn’t ask for more.

There were days where he felt guilty about Kara and Barry, but then he would hold his baby girl, and he would remember the image of his daughter and his son standing before him in the bunker, pleading, begging for him to choose a life with his family and that guilt faded away.

He and Felicity were putting their family first, and they were better for it.

He was happy, and while he didn’t think he deserved to be this happy, his family did and he sure as hell wasn’t going to take it for granted.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Felicity smiled as she watched Oliver hurry to catch up with their little girl as Mia ran through the yard.

Mia was an overachiever much like herself. She was running before she could crawl. Mia was stubborn like her father when she looked disgruntled, she looked a lot like her dad. She was a lot like Oliver in so many ways, and Felicity loved that.

Oliver loved that she was already showing signs of being smart like her brother and mother. However, what he really loved was that Mia looked so much like Felicity.

“Hey,” William appeared at her side. “I was going to run into town. I’m meeting Derek.”

“Are you going to be bringing him to dinner with the family soon?” Felicity turned her gaze to William.

William flushed. “He’s just a friend.”

A few weeks after William moved back home with them, he had come out to Oliver and Felicity. He had been nervous and scared of their rejection, of being shunned by both of them. His own grandparents hadn' taken it well when he told them before coming back home to live with his dad at Felicity. He was happy that he had been worried for nothing. Neither Oliver or Felicity had shown anything but love and acceptance.

“I used to say the same thing about your father and look at us now, married, and two children and I couldn’t imagine loving anyone the way I love your father,” Felicity responded.

“I doubt I’m going to find the person I want to be with for the rest of my life at fourteen.” William shook his head.

“If it gets past the friend stage, I expect to meet him,” Felicity stated.

“I will, I promise. I was wondering if I could get some money? We were going to see a movie and then hit the arcade after.”

Felicity looked at him. “Are you going to be home by curfew?”

“Yes,” William answered. “I’ll be home by eleven.”

“Alright, c’mon, I got you covered.” Felicity led him inside, and after getting some money from her wallet, she handed it to William.

“Thanks, Felicity,” William pressed a kiss to her cheek before grabbing his jacket and disappearing out the door, Felicity moved to the kitchen and looked outside, laughing when she saw Mia on top of Oliver's shoulder, her small tiny arms extended to the sky like she was reaching for the world.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Oliver stared at his baby girl, his love for her washing over him, leaving a warmth inside his chest; he only ever felt when he was at home with his family.

A desire for more children hit him and not the first time, maybe it was time he talked to Felicity about it. See where her head was at regarding expanding their family beyond William and Mia.

He leaned over Mia and pressed a kiss to her forehead and tucked her in before leaving her in her room, carrying the baby monitor back out into the kitchen finding Felicity rummaging through the fridge and pulling out a strawberry and banana yogurt.

He handed her a spoon as she closed the fridge.

“Thanks, did she go down easily?” Felicity asked, opening her yogurt and spooning out a bite.

“Yeah, out like a light. I don’t think she’ll be back up for a few hours.” Oliver smiled fondly. His little girl was full of energy, but once she tired her self out, she was always down for a few hours. “I thought we could use the time to talk about something I’ve wanted to discuss with you?”

“Yeah, what’s on your mind?”

“I know when you first got pregnant with Mia, we hadn’t planned it but it worked out, and William was are first experience being parents, and I know we struggled at first, but I like to think we have this parenting thing down at this point.”

Felicity tilted her head at him, wondering where he was going with this.

“What I’m getting at or what I’m trying to ask is, what do you think about having more kids? Trying for another baby?”

Felicity set her yogurt on the counter. “We are not trying for another baby.”

Felicity could have hit him, and it would have hurt less than her answer, he flinched. “You don’t want to try for another baby? Is building a family with me that terrible?”

Felicity’s eyes widened, realizing how her words must have sounded and groaned. “That’s not what I meant. Oliver, we can’t try for another baby because I’m already pregnant.”

Oliver’s face lit up, his lips pulling up into a hopeful smile. “What?”

“I’ve been trying to find the perfect time to tell you. I found out two weeks ago, I wanted to surprise you-”.

Oliver cut her off with his mouth on hers, his hands on her hips, pressing her against the counter.

His mouth traveled down her jaw to her neck before he dropped to his knees at her feet. Oliver pushed her shirt up and placed a soft kiss against her belly.

Felicity smiled and ran her fingers through his hair. “So as you can see, we can’t actually try for another baby when I’m already carrying precious cargo.”

Oliver grinned up at her and stood, enfolding her in his arms, her body pressed flushed against his, his lips claiming hers.

Felicity moaned back in her throat, parting her lips as he coaxed her mouth open, his tongue slid along hers.

Oliver loved that quiet moan at the back of her throat, and he loved more when it got louder, more raw, and desperate with need when he was moving deep inside her.

He needed to be with her right now. He pulled back, barely a breath away. "I know we already created another baby, hopefully, another girl."

Felicity laughed. "What about a boy? Don't you want another son?"

"I have William, and the world doesn't need a mini Oliver. It needs another mini Felicity." Oliver pressed his lips to her neck, leaving a fire in his wake.

Felicity let out a moan as he sucked on her clavicle. “Lucas, if it’s a boy, his name is going to be Lucas.”

“I think we should practice making babies.” Oliver dragged his teeth across her skin, making her gasp.

“I think the fact that I already have our third child growing inside of me proves we don’t need the practice.” Felicity's reply was breathless as she arched into his mouth.

Oliver’s left hand slid around to cup her ass, gripping tightly to the flesh that he loved so damn much. “Maybe so, but practice makes perfect.” he wrapped his other hand around her waist and lifted her.

Felicity gave a surprised laugh as she wrapped her arms around his neck and tightened her legs around his torso. She pressed her mouth to his kissing him thoroughly, trusting him to get them to their bedroom.

Felicity tugged at his shirt as soon as he lowered her to her feet. Oliver quickly ripping it over his head before reaching for her shirt and lifted it over her head and tossing it aside.

Oliver wrapped his arms around her and lifted her, moving forward, he laid her back on the bed, covering her with his body.

Felicity tilted her neck as Oliver placed a trail of hot kisses against her skin, traveling down to her chest, her hands moved between them, reach to unfasten his pants and reached her hand inside to stroke his hardening length.

Oliver groaned, he reached behind her unfastening her bra, freeing it from her body, he kissed a path down her stomach, lingering to place a sweet kiss to her navel, before tugging down her yoga pants and panties.

Felicity complained as he moved away from her hand and stood from the bed. “Patience, honey.”

Felicity only grunted in response, running her hands along her body. “I don’t have patience when it comes to having you buried inside of me.”

Oliver groaned as her words sent all his blood rushing to his dick, he pushed down his pants and boxers, kicking them free.

Felicity’s eyes darkened with want as she watched his erection bounce free from the confines of his pants, he was hard and flushed red with a drop of precum, escaping the tip.

She licked her lips slowly. It would be so easy to sit up and take her husband's cock in between her lips and suck him dry, savoring his taste on her tongue.

“Later,” Oliver’s voice was rough with desire. He knew that look in her eyes, and he loved it when she got him off with her mouth. It turned her on just as much as it did him and it was no secret how much he loved having her legs wrapped around his head as he sucked her juices, but right now he didn’t want oral sex. He wanted to make love to his wife. He wanted to be one with her in every physical way possible, and he wanted to shower her in his love.

He moved back over her, his hands smoothing up her calves, curling around her thighs, hooking them around his hip, his length pressed hot and heavy against her, the head of his cock bumping against her clit.

Felicity’s hand slid over his shoulders and down his back, to his ass, squeezing his cheeks encouragingly.

He gave a groan and reached between them, slipping a finger along her slick flesh and inside her entrance, and he almost sighed in relief at the heat he found there. She was wet, so fucking wet and ready for him.

Oliver reached between them, grabbing his cock and lining himself up with her entrance, pushing only the head inside, not going any deeper.

Felicity whimpered, she needed more, she needed him filling her. She tried to push at his ass, but he was immovable. “Oliver,” she pleaded, desire consuming her. She needed him inside of her. NOW.

Oliver groaned. “I know.” he reached behind him, his chest pressing more against hers and removed her hands from his ass. Felicity gave a whine of protest, but it faded on her lips as he took control of her mouth, his hands smoothing up her arms, until’s their palms were flat and their fingers laced. Oliver pressed their hands into the mattress above them as he surged his hips forward, burying his length inside her welcoming body, she wrapped around him like a glove. It was perfect.

She was perfect.

Felicity moaned from deep in her chest as he filled her in slow, deep penetrating strokes, his pelvis grinding against hers, she locked her legs tighter around him, her heels digging into his ass, pushing him forward.

Oliver broke apart from her with a groan, watching in awe at the raw pleasure on his wife's face.

Felicity's eyes were closed, head tilted back, lips parted on a breathless moan. Fuch she was gorgeous even more so when they were together like this.

“Look at me.”

Felicity's eyes snapped open, his voice was dripping with sex and had her clenching down on his hard length. She stared into his blues eyes that were looking at her like she had the answers to the universe like she was everything good in the world, and he couldn’t believe she was real. It was looking that always had her heart thundering in her chest in the best way possible.

“I love you.”

The words were said with such intensity Felicity swore she felt them in her bones.

“I love you too.” She breathed. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you and I never will.”

Felicity's words washed over Oliver like a balm, and his mouth found hers in a slow heated kiss that had her toes curling as he moved inside of her.

Oliver kept his thrust slow but deep, their moans and pants filling the room as he made love to her.

When they finally reached the edge of their pleasure, they fell over together in an orgasm so intense, Felicity's vision went white, and Oliver barely was able to keep himself from collapsing all his body weight onto her.

He rolled onto his back, pulling Felicity wth him and she rested on his chest, his arms securely around her.

“Wow.” Felicity murmured. “You love me.”

Oliver gave a happy laugh and kissed her temple, their skin was slick with sweat. “Always.”

Felicity pressed a kiss over his heart. “Always,” she murmured as she slowly started to drift off.

Hopefully, they could get an hour of sleep in before their little girl decided it was time to wake her parents.

Oliver watched as Felicity drifted off, his hand rubbing up and down her back, before settling on her hip, enjoying having his wife in his arms, smiling softly knowing they were slowly expanding their family.

A feeling of peace filled him, knowing the grim future that his son and daughter had come back to change had been rewritten and his family had a better future waiting for them, one they deserved.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

16 years later

Mia set down the stack of presents she was carrying and looked up at the sound of her older brother’s voice.

William walked into the yard, his boyfriend Arron was next to him with two presents.

“I come bearing gifts.” Arron declared.

“I would hope so, you can’t show up to a birthday party without gifts,” Lucas stated, passing Mia a soda. “I mean you could, but you’ll have two angry 7-year-olds on your hands.”

Mia gave a smirk, shaking her head. Lucas looked just like their father, same blue eyes, same dark sandy blonde hair but their dad swore up and down that his teasing and playful personality reminded him every day of his best friend, Thomas Merlyn.

William chuckled. “Tommy and Nate or not that bad.”

“Says you,” Lucas stated. “You’re not the one living with them and having them follow you everywhere you-” Lucas gave a sudden grunt as a familiar body jumped on the back of his back and a pair of familiar lips pressed to the side of his neck, he instinctively reached behind him gripping a pair of thighs.

“Who are you kidding, you love your little brothers.” Sara Diggle stated lips pulled into a grin, she was latched onto him like a monkey.

“Not when they won’t leave me alone when I’m trying to get some alone time with my girlfriend.” He turned his head and placed a kiss on her lips. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Sara grinned, placing another kiss to his lips.

“Cut that out, are you’re going to pay for my therapy, Luc,” Connor said walking over to them with two drinks in hand, he handed one to Mia and sipped at the other one.

Sara laughed at Connor. “Where’s JJ?”

“Over by the Grill, hitting on Veronica. Again,” he answered. “

Veronica looked a lot like her mother, Thea but she had her father’s Roy, personality.

Lucas snorted, sharing a laugh with Mia. No matter how bad Veronica shot him down, JJ never gave up, but personally, they knew Veronica like their little dance, It was her own personal brand of flirting. And, thankfully there wasn't that big of an age difference between the two.

The Diggles and the Queens had remained a close-knit family through the years. With a two vacation every year, birthday and holidays and special occasions and when then Diggle moved to Bloomfield 10 years ago almost every Saturday, they got together for their weekly family barbeque.

No family event was complete unless every Diggle and Queen were in attendance.

“Will!” William turned to see a blonde little girl no older than four running across the field, Donna, hot on her heels.

Will grinned and caught his little sister Madlynn in his arms as threw herself into him. “There’s my favorite little sister.”

Donna caught up to them, hands on her hips. “What are you kids all gathered around for?” she grinned eyes lighting up. “Are we gossiping?”

Mia scoffed. “We don’t gossip, grandma.”

“Yes, we do,” said Willam. “We were just finding amusement in JJ being turned down by Veronica.”

“Well, he has good taste.” Donna approved.

“Bubbee!” Donna turned to see twin boys, running toward her. “Hey, what’s the rush?” She asked when they grabbed her hands, pulling on them.

“Dad burnt the cookies, and Mama needs you to help her clean up and air out the kitchen while he goes to the store for ice cream.”

“Gross,” Mia scrunched her face up. Whenever her father burnt anything, it was her mother’s fault.

She lost count of how many times she, William and Lucas had walked in on their parents making out in the kitchen like they were two teenagers who couldn’t keep their hands off each other.

Donna gave a laugh. “Well, maybe I could go to the store and take over, and your parents could just go have se-”

“Bubbee!” William exclaimed as Lucas and Sara lunged forward to cover the twins' ears, Mia doing the same with Maddie, each making a disgusted face.

Donna laughed at their reactions and walked away with the twins. They got so flustered like their mother.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

A course of Happy birthday ranged out through the backyard, everyone gathered around the picnic table, as the candles burned on the cake that Felicity had specially ordered.

It was a Green Arrow cake. Exactly what the boys had wanted. Oliver was more proud than he could ever say that he was his sons' favorite hero even if he was no longer the Green Arrow and had left that life behind.

The kids were more excited about eating a piece of their cake and blowing out the candles. He was sure they got that from Felicity, she enjoyed her sweets.

Oliver got distracted, standing with his wife. They were going to start opening presents soon. However, he was entranced by the small dollop of icing on the corner of his wife’s lips.

“Oliver, you’re staring,” Felicity said pointedly, moving closer to him. “Why?”

“You have a little bit of icing on the corner of your mouth.” he pointed at where the dark green icing was.

“Oh,” Felicity cheeks pinked, and she reached her hand up; however, Oliver caught it in his, locking their fingers together.

“No, let me.” Oliver leaned forward, pressing his mouth against the corner of her lips, his tongue swiping out to clear the icing away.

“Oliver.” Felicity laughed.

Oliver grinned. “You know how much I love dessert.” his eyes twinkled.

Felicity smacked at his chest with her other hand, though her smile was filled with love. “The dessert you love you can only get when we’re alone.”

Oliver’s eyes heated and he slipped a hand behind the nape of her neck, pulling her in for a kiss that had Felicity’s head spinning and heat coiling in her stomach.

“Mom, Dad, cut that out!” Lucas groaned in complaint. “There are literally a ton of people around.”

John clapped him on the back. “Relax. They still got their clothes on, and their hands are where we can see them that’s more than I could have asked for over the years.”

Roy smirked. “Your parents being unable to stop being lovey-dovey is the reason why you have so many siblings."

“Therapy.” Lucas deadpanned. “We're all gonna need therapy,” he waved at himself Willam and Mia. “All the therapy one can get for the rest of our lives. Can’t you be like normal parents for one day and not act like teenagers who can’t control their hormones? William, Mia back me up here?”

William and Mia shared a look. Yeah, it was gross seeing their parents make out all the time, but it was also sweet, and it was a whole lot better than a life they were able to remember for two years now.

A life where Mia grew up without her father or brother, where she was an only child and her mother were isolated, guarded, alone, devoid of real happiness or joy. A life where William grew up, not knowing he had a sister and beliving Felicity and Oliver had abandoned him.

No, the life they had now was a whole lot better than the one they went back and fixed.

“They're happy,” Mia said, looking at her parents. “And so am I.”

“Me too.” William agreed, nudging her with his shoulder.

Mia fought a smile, focusing on her parents. Her father looking at her mother like she was the whole world and her mother looking at him like he brought life to hers.

It was beautiful, and everything Mia wanted for their family.

When she felt William's hand circled her wrist, she allowed it. They were the family they were always meant to be, and having her brother share this with her meant more to her than she would ever admit.

William smiled, thankful that for once his life worked out just the way he wanted it to.

Oliver locked eyes with his kids and smiled. He wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for them. He may be a hero to his family, but to him, they were the heroes. They saved him from a short life filled with misery, and he couldn't be more grateful because now he got to raise his children and grow old with the love of his life.

He couldn’t ask for more. He already had everything he needed in this life. He had his family, his kids, and he had Felicity, the love of his life, and he was truly happy. More than he ever thought was possible, and if this life had taught him anything, it was to never take things for granted and to hold on to your loved ones.

He didn’t choose to save Kara and Barry, and some people hated him for it, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret his decision as he looked around at his family, his wife pressed into his side.

His family deserved to be happy, and so did he and he wouldn’t give that up for the world.

He leaned down, pressed a lingering kiss to his wife temple, and whispered. “Thank you.”

Felicity looked up at him, cupping his jaw. “For what?”

“For choosing to love me when I didn’t even believe I deserved it or that I was even capable of it.”

“There was never a choice in loving you, Oliver Queen. You were in my bones from the moment I meant you.”

Oliver smiled, and it was breathtaking. “I love you.”

Felicity stretched up, pressing her mouth to his, showing him with the tender kiss that she felt the same.

Oliver tightened his arms around her and held her close.

This was the life he chose, and it was the life Felicity, his family deserved. He was happy, but more importantly, his family was happy.

Felicity was happy. That was all he ever wanted.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

A/N: Thanks for reading! Let me know if you like this one-shot.

Tags: @bri206 @lilidragonsf @cainc3 @epj27 @idreamindisneyandpink @mariestark @melolicity @gabriellamarie97 @icannotbelieveiamhere @jendiaz69 @msbeccieboo

If you did not want to be tagged I apologize.

#oliver x felicity #olicity #olicity fic #post 7x22 fic #fix it fic #Oliver and felicity deserve better #oliver queen #Felicity Smoak #mia smoak #william clayton #fluff #fic: Fighting for a chance at happiness

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askjennie · 5 years ago

Text

FAQ: I’m struggling with my mental health, how do I get help?

Do I even need help?

In general, it’s a good idea to seek help if something you’re thinking or feeling is having a significant negative impact on your life. For example:

Your thoughts or feelings are constantly bothering and distressing you.

Your thoughts or feelings are getting in the way of your ability to work or study, or making going to your workplace or school very difficult for you. Maybe you can’t get to work or school on time (or at all), or maybe you find it difficult to concentrate while you’re there, or maybe being there triggers some upsetting symptoms for you.

Your thoughts or feelings are affecting your relationships with your friends, family or partner. Maybe you’re pushing them away or feeling unable to spend time with them like you used to, or maybe you’re becoming rude or hostile towards them, or maybe you’re becoming excessively clingy or dependent on them to the point that it’s upsetting them.

Your thoughts or feelings are getting in the way of your hobbies/leisure activities. Maybe you want to do something but don’t feel able to, or maybe you’ve lost interest in activities that you used to enjoy.

Your thoughts or feelings are making you want to harm yourself or someone else.

You’re having flashbacks, hallucinations, or experiencing physical symptoms that are scary or distressing to you or others around you.

You feel unhappy most of the time.

These are all reasons why someone might want to seek psychological help. They don’t all need to apply, and you don’t need to be at your absolute worst to ask for help. “This is bothering me, I think it might help to talk to someone about it” is a good enough reason to talk to someone about it.

Who should I tell?

If you feel able to, talking to a family member, friend or partner about how you’ve been feeling can be a really helpful start. You don’t have to keep what’s going on to yourself, and if you can open up to someone you trust, they can support you through the process of seeking professional help, which can make things easier for you. However, if you don’t want to or don’t feel able to talk to someone in your personal life, you can start with speaking to your doctor, or contacting mental health services or private therapists in your area. If you’re currently in education, you could contact your school’s counseling service.

If you’re a minor, and you’re not able to access mental health services on your own, it’s especially important that you reach out to a trusted adult in your life. Who you feel comfortable talking to will vary from person to person - it could be a parent, other family member, friend’s parent, family friend, teacher or school counselor. If you’re finding it difficult to start the conversation, there’s nothing wrong with writing a letter, or text, to let the person know what’s been going on and what you need to talk about.

If you feel like there’s no one in your life you can reach out to right now, you may find it useful to contact a helpline (see list later on in this post).

What kind of help can I get?

Talk therapies. These generally involve working one-on-one with a therapist and learning to manage your symptoms with various mental and behavioral techniques. Click here or here to learn more about talk therapy.

Medication. Your doctor or psychiatrist might recommend antidepressants, or anti-anxiety medication, or anti-psychotic medication, depending on what you’re experiencing. Click here or here to learn more about medication.

Psychosocial treatments. This might involve support workers or case managers, peer support groups, or community programs that help you live with your mental illness. Click here or here to learn more about psychosocial treatments and peer support.

Hospital/residential treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis and are unable to keep yourself safe, it may be necessary or recommended that you go into hospital temporarily. This can be a scary experience at first, but it gives you the opportunity to focus 100% on improving your mental health, with support from trained staff. Click here or here to learn more about hospital treatment.

Other treatments could include art therapies, mindfulness, or family therapy.

There are options, and they won’t suit everybody, so it’s important to be open with your healthcare providers about what is working for you, and what isn’t. If you try one thing and it doesn’t work, don’t give up - try something else.

What if I don’t have the money/freedom to do that?

If money is the issue, it might be worth Googling ‘low-cost therapy�� ‘low-cost counseling’ or ‘counseling for low income’ and seeing what comes up. Many therapists will offer their services on a sliding scale basis, so someone with a low income will pay less. Some charities may offer mental health support for free or less money than a private therapist. Some universities may offer counseling from students training to be therapists for free or a low price. Depending on where you live, these things might not be available, and depending on what your income is, they still might not be doable for you right now, but it’s worth looking.

If you don’t have the money or freedom to get mental health support outside of your home right now, there is still support available online, and self-help options you can try for free without anyone in your life knowing. Here is a list of resources you can look up:

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy workbooks

Centre for Clinical Interventions - Free self-help therapy workbooks and worksheets for depression, anxiety, disordered eating, bipolar disorder, low self-esteem and more.

Moodjuice - Free worksheets for depression, anxiety, anger, stress and more.

Apps

Sanvello - Self-help app for anxiety, depression and stress. Track your mood and habits, learn mindfulness, learn to reframe your thoughts. Has free and paid options.

SAM - This has information on anxiety, an anxiety tracker, and you can create your own toolkit of calming exercises.

Stop, Breathe and Think - Easy guided meditation, recommends different meditations based on your current mood.

Booster Buddy - Cute app where an animal friend encourages you to complete self-care tasks. Can also help you keep track of medications and appointments.

Calm Harm - For self harm. Provides different tasks as alternatives for when you feel the urge to self harm.

USA helplines

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - free confidential support for anyone struggling. Phone and webchat options. Crisis Textline -Text-based helpline for if you’re having a crisis or just need to talk.

IMAlive - webchat suicide helpline for those in crisis.

The Trevor Project - Crisis and suicide helpline for LGBTQ young people. Phone, text and webchat options.

NEDA - Eating disorders helpline with phone and webchat options.

YouthLine - teen-to-teen support helpline for ages 11-21. Phone, text, webchat and email options.

TeenLine - another teen-to-teen peer support helpline. Phone, text, or email options.

UK helplines

Samaritans - free confidential support for anyone struggling. Phone or email options.

Mind infoline - For information on mental illness and where to seek help. Phone or text options.

Childline - Help for under 18s, for any reason. Phone, email or webchat options.

B-eat - Eating disorder helpline - separate options for adults, students and youth. Phone and webchat options.

Self Injury Support - Helpline for women and girls who self harm. Phone, text and webchat options.

Anywhere with internet helplines

7 Cups - chat to trained active listeners online (for free), or professional therapists (for a fee).

Where can I get more information about mental health?

National Alliance on Mental Illness - Information on types of mental illness, advice on living with a mental health condition and on how to find support (in the USA).

Mental Health America - Information on types of mental illness, how to find treatment (in the USA) and how to promote good mental health.

Mind - Information on types of mental illness, self care advice and guides to the mental health treatment system (in the UK).

Helpguide - Guides and tips for coping with various mental health issues.

NHS - Tips and advice on mental health self care and treatments.

Time to Change - Information on mental health stigma and discrimination.

#advice #faq #mental health #mental illness #recovery

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cummunication · 5 years ago

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The craziest people I know (don’t go to therapy)

Therapy... I have an appointment today actually. I’ve been going for the last ten years. I first started seeing the school psychologist, going to my YFS center (youth and family services). I started going more regularly after my father died which was perfect since I would go during my lunch period. I had nobody to sit with at lunch so it was a perfect excuse to go. I began receiving outside counseling in eleventh or twelfth grade, once a week. At this point I was a minor so my mom paid. Now as an adult, I am thankful my mom brought me and paid because I see how inconvenient it can be and how it adds up. Even though most therapists accept insurance, some don’t. Even with insurance you can be paying 65$ up every time which is usually once or twice a week. That being said, I truly believe the best and most important thing we can invest in is ourselves and therapy is worth it. Therapy is being brought into the open which I’m very happy with but still, there is a stigma attached to counseling. The first thought most people have when they hear you are in therapy is “what’s wrong with them? Are they mentally unstable? Or, why do they need therapy?” People associate receiving help as something wrong with you or you can’t handle yourself. This is simply not true. The most mentally sane (or emotionally healthy people) are in therapy, receiving help for their issues. This is because they are open minded and willing to admit their flaws. They are ready to be proactive and willing to better themselves. I firmly believe everyone should be in therapy. Therapy isn’t just a useful tool where you receive an honest, outside opinion from a professional, but a time to be truthful with yourself, reflect, and gain useful insight. It’s immensely helpful in learning emotional intelligence and how to deal with feelings. Sometimes, when I suggest therapy to people, they say “I don’t need it, I’m not crazy” and to be completely honest, these are the people who need therapy the most. They are close minded, in denial and not willing or ready to deal with their shit. We all have things we should be willing to face, change and improve in ourselves. It’s not just people who have a diagnosable mental health disorder or went through a trauma that should go to therapy. I also hear therapy is “paying someone to be your friend”. This makes me sad because yes, like any other service, therapy is a business; but people who enter the human services, social work or psychology field are generally empathic people who truly care and want to help you. “If I go to a therapist, does that mean I'm crazy, weak or a failure? What will others think? What if I'm seen coming out of that kind of office? Such concerns are quite natural given our socio-cultural conditioning. Unfortunately, as a result, many people decide not to pursue counseling despite experiencing significant emotional, physical or mental distress. Let's clarify a few things. Most people who initiate counseling do not have a serious mental illness. They have serious life challenges or are going through difficult life-cycle transitions that may be taxing their current ability to cope. This, in turn, may be adversely affecting their well-being and ability to function as well as they would like. Examples of serious life challenges can be dealing with chronic work-related stressors; career issues; financial problems; health issues or a recent health diagnosis; family or parent/child conflict; cultural assimilation; and academic issues. Examples of difficult life-cycle related transitions can be the death of a family member or friend; the ending of a romantic relationship or close friendship; family/couple changes related to the addition of a child; getting married or divorced; care giving for loved ones due to illness or disability; and decision-making challenges related to these life choices. These are just some of the reasons why people decide to go to counseling. So, if you are going through one or more of these challenges at the same time, you're not alone. The effects are often cumulative, which is generally referred to as a 'pile-up' of stressors. Counseling during these times can be quite helpful in providing both the support and skills to better address these life challenges. Ultimately, it is an invaluable investment in your emotional, physical and mental health, an act of courage not weakness, and a gift to those whose lives you touch. But what if you’re not in a moment of “disaster relief?” Surprisingly, the best time to start therapy may be when your life’s going relatively well. Despite the fact that more than 59 million Americans seek the services of a mental health care professional each year, there’s a stigma that therapy is only for people suffering a debilitating mental illness or going through a massive interpersonal issue. The benefits of therapy extend far beyond periods of crisis. Many people want more than to be ‘not depressed.’ They wonder what they can do to be the happiest, most productive, most loving version of themselves. Because achieving your full potential requires a heck of a lot of self-knowledge, self-control, and—let’s be honest—hard work, it’s best done when you’re not in freak-out mode. What’s more, if there’s an issue in your life that’s causing you distress, it’s better to deal with it sooner than later. Over time, minor difficulties can bloom into disasters that have you hitting the tissue box hard. But the earlier you go to therapy and engage in introspection, the better off you are in the long run. The benefit of seeing a mental health professional is that it’s literally their job to reserve judgment and guide you toward what’s best for you. Whatever your decision, keep in mind that people’s resistance to your pursuit of mental health typically comes from their own fears: If you’re in therapy, it must mean they should be too. Or if you’re in therapy, you’ll change in a way that makes you less willing to be friends (or romantic partners) with them. Therapy simply allows it to happen with less trauma. While therapy can help remove the wool from your eyes, it won’t create problems where there were none to begin with. If you (rationally) determine you’re not in the right place—career-wise, romance-wise, or otherwise—congratulations! You’ve just identified a buried source of suffering. And by clarifying the origin(s) of your distress, you’re that much closer to living an authentically happy life. The most common types of therapy include cognitive behavioral, psychodynamic, family, and group. Whether you’re looking for a quick(ish) fix to a bad habit, anxiety issue, or phobia, or you’re just interested in some serious soul-searching (“What’s my life’s purpose?” “Why do I keep doing ____ in romantic relationships?”) there’s a therapy that’s waiting for you. Therapy isn’t supposed to eradicate all sadness, anger, frustration, or other negative emotions (envy, embarrassment, self-doubt, etc.). And thank goodness! Because often those tough emotions serve as an internal cue—if you’re listening. That’s where therapy comes in. It’s there to help you learn how to sit with, accept, and not be debilitated by these feelings—all while cultivating self-awareness. The result? You’ll be able to tune in and make choices that make the most sense for you. Rather than achieving perpetual bliss, the end result of therapy is to confidently navigate your life off the proverbial couch.” Also there are many excuses people will make to avoid or get out of therapy. I don’t have the time or money is a big one. What’s more, there are many free or low-cost support options, from hot lines to help groups. Those interested can visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness’s website for more resources. You can also check with your health care insurer to find a professional in your network, or search for practitioners in your area online. Or, if you’re a student, contact your campus health center. “Keep in mind that it’s important to find a therapist you “click” with. Often, this can mean trying out a few different providers before settling on the one who feels right for you. Therapy isn’t just for moments of earth-shattering personal tragedies. It can also be useful in reorienting yourself toward your true wants and needs, training yourself in the art of self-compassion, and better understanding, respecting, and communicating your feelings. And—surprise—it’s often easier to pursue these goals when you’re not wrestling bigger, darker obstacles. So consider this your permission to give therapy a try, even if your life is going hunky-dory. Your future self may just look back and say, “Thanks!”

#therapy #mentalhealth #blog

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hollenka99 · 6 years ago

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A Growing Family

Summary: In the aftermath of the war, Jameson is still struggling. Not only that but there is more bad news on Siobhan's side of the family. So he focuses on his family and attempts to be happy with what he's got. As such, the Jackson family grows by four new members.

February 23, 1919 Dear Mother,

I hope 1919 has been treating you well thus far. Siobhan and I have some news.

Our fourth child should arrive sometime in the fall, likely September or early October. I am secretly hoping for another daughter. Not only to achieve an oddly satisfying symmetry. This child will be less than 18 months younger than Sophia. I do enjoy entertaining the idea of the two girls sharing a close sisterhood due to the short gap between their ages.

Do not be mistaken, a son would be equally welcome. After all, I gain more experience with raising boys with every day that passes. Despite their difficult beginnings, Anthony and Ollie are rather good friends now. It was Anthony, after all, who dubbed his little brother 'Ollie' in the first place.

Speaking of Oliver, I caught him playing around with his mother's piano the other day. When I asked him what he was doing, he told me Anthony was only better at playing the instrument because he was bigger. He insists he'll be bigger than Anthony one day. When that happens, he'll be the one who is better at playing piano. It does make me laugh how a child's logic works.

Yours. Jameson

April 30, 1919 Dear Mother,

Now that we have celebrated Sophia's first year of life, I feel I may be able to relax slightly. She's certainly not invulnerable but she's more so than last April. She's still not able to stand independently but I have been assured that this developmental delay is common in children who were born prematurely. For us, we see no need for her to be rushed. After all, a crawling child is easier to grab before they do themselves harm as opposed to one who can run.

Anthony enjoyed his time on set last year so I'm planning to work out how to incorporate a first grader into one of our movies. Four years have passed since he made a cameo appearance in The Puppet Man. I've asked Ollie if he's interested but he declined the offer. I suppose you can't win them all.

I am working on a second project as of right now, not related to the pictures. You should be able to see the results later this year.

Yours, Jameson

June 27, 1919 Dear all,

Those Europeans scare me. They all must be mad. I thought the war ended in November. Yet here we are in June, with the Allies threatening to resume the conflict if Germany don't sign that peace treaty in Versailles. I was under the impression it was all a formality to officially document peace. They can't just order their men to return to the trenches after all this time, can they? People have been spending these past seven months attempting to rebuild their lives.

I don't know what conditions Germany is agreeing to. However, I do know the terms should be reasonable. They may be forced to play the scapegoat but placing the blame too harshly could trigger a resentment amongst the German people. God knows how dangerous that could be if taken advantage of.

This League of Nations that Wilson proposed could work. If a number of countries allied themselves together, it might prevent another Great War. Although, it hasn't escaped my notice that it was close alliances that caused the domino effect during the July Crisis of 1914. I suppose all we can do is have faith the politicians know what is best for their respective countries and for the world in general.

Yours, Jameson

August 2, 1919 Dear Jameson,

You have to stop doing this. By all means, use writing as a creative outlet. I don't mind you attempting to work through all of this mess. That said, I wish you would be sensible. If you're going to write an anthology full of anti-war poems, keep it to yourself. At least you had the sense to publish them under an alias.

I'll admit it took me a few minutes to understand your pseudonym. Laurence Wilson is quite a clever disguise. I suppose you chose it so nobody outside of our family would recognise you. I tried to explain it to Mother but she argues you should have used Silas instead. It makes sense, masquerading with the name of our other grandfather, but I'm sure it wouldn't have quite fit with what you were going for.

I worry about you, Jameson. My biggest concern, other than you ruining your reputation, is that this is still an issue. October will be here soon and with it, the second anniversary of Harvey's death. You must let go, if not for your sake then for your family's. You both made mistakes that you weren't able to rectify. Sometimes that is the cruel way the world works. The two of you simply drew the short straw.

We all miss Harvey dearly. It is not only you who wishes he were still here. I hope you understand we were all affected. As for your irrational decisions, you cannot keep doing this to us. You know how much of a worrier Mother is.

Yours, Mabel

August 15, 1919 Dear Mabel,

This has never been about who misses him more or can grieve the hardest. Please don't speak as though I have turned bereavement into a competition. I never made just the one mistake. I made several major ones that lead to countless smaller actions I regret.

I was so close to resolving the feud between us. I received his final letter and set down to write my reply. I remember still writing when Pearl and Clifford came to share the contents of Mother's letter. It frustrates me to no end that he was able to apologise but he would never see my apology.

It wasn't only Harvey I wronged. I ruined my friendship with the person closest to me outside of our family. There were times when I felt closer to David than my own brothers. If it were not for Clifford and Harvey, I would have made him my best man without a second thought. I had hoped he would have chosen me to perform that duty when the time came for him to marry, seeing as he was brotherless. That shall never happen now. His son will have to be raised on mere stories passed down from his mother and grandparents.

All of this is because I am a fierce pacifist. Why has not wanting the world to descend into bloodshed and violence cost me so much? Answer me that, Mabel. I didn't want either of them to contribute to the fighting, especially as they would be risking their lives by getting involved. I went about it the wrong way, I know that. I expected it of Harvey but certainly couldn't foresee David choosing to enlist. I don't know to whom I was harsher. My hand moved before my head could contemplate the repercussions. You have no idea how cautious I am when writing to my loved ones nowadays. Placing letters in envelopes fills me with paranoia. I may read through this letter when it is done and decide it will never be sent.

I can never forgive myself. Never. During the Advent of 1914, I went to confession as I tend to do in preparation for Christmas. When I leave, I usually feel freer. I'm sure you understand what I mean. By admitting your faults to God and saying a prayer or two, you are supposedly cleansed until the next time you commit a sin. Yet, in 1914, I failed to have that sense of peace within me. At the time, I assumed it was because I still held on to resentment and was somewhat privately wrathful. The Advent following Harvey's death, once more I asked to be forgiven. And, once more, I felt as if it failed to be effective. This whole process feels more like a formality to satisfy those around me than something that benefits my soul.

I believe that upon my death, hopefully decades from now, I will finally be able to speak to Harvey and David, face to face as we should have done years ago. Maybe then I can make peace with all of this. Until then, I can't do much except for take each day as it comes.

Yours, Jameson

Henry Robert Jackson Male September 15, 1919 Los Angeles Siobhan O'Hara Jameson Jackson

September 15, 1919 Dear all,

Our third son, whom we have named Henry, arrived in the early hours of this morning. Needless to say, his entrance into the world was far less stressful than his sister's. He is still technically early too but what is one day in the general scheme of things?

The boys are very pleased to have another brother. Anthony is bound to be telling his friends at elementary school tomorrow. Oliver has been fussing over our latest addition. As for Sophia, I feel she is a little too young to particularly care about the new baby the same way her brothers do. That doesn't stop her from checking in on Henry every so often with curiosity.

The most humourous reaction to the baby is courtesy of Lyra. She has found herself hovering around Siobhan all day so she can get a good whiff of Henry. Siobhan cannot take a step in any direction without being cautious of the Dalmatian who is potentially under the feet.

Yours, Jameson

October 1, 1919 Dear Jameson,

Two sons, a daughter then another son? I dare say you're copying me.

Congratulations on the birth of your fourth child, Jem. Give Siobhan my love too. You know, it's a shame we live so far apart. Arthur and Henry could have grown up good friends, given there is only three months between them. That's not to say they can't be playmates whenever you visit us.

Yours, Mabel

February 9, 1920 Dear Mother,

Yesterday, the three of us drank together to commemorate what should have been Harvey's 40th birthday. We talked about him freely. After a while, I felt comfortable enough to join without restricting myself. I even laughed once more at the story of him introducing Edith to us. Pearl still swears she didn't intend to immediately spill wine on her at the table. The whole session has made me thoughtful though. This could potentially be the first time since before the war that I've be able to reflect on my memories of Harvey fondly. Since then, those memories seemed too bitter to remember.

Perhaps this is what I have been lacking, a chance to speak without fear of being misunderstood. I knew Clifford and Pearl were willing to listen. I've known this entire time but, in a strange way, I have failed to internalise that information. I have subjected myself to dealing with everything alone. I am a fool for doing so. I have spent the majority of the past decade being a halfwit.

At the end of December, I promised myself I'd endeavour to have a fresh start this decade. At the time, I wasn't completely sure how I would go about that goal. Other than being more cautious about the what I write, of course. I'm glad it only took me 5 weeks to receive this epiphany. It certainly saved me some time.

Tell Edith and the girls that I say hello, Jameson

May 22, 1920 Dear Jameson,

Forgive me if I'm intruding on matters that you want to remain private but I am worried about your wife. She didn't seem herself at the reception last week. I could sense something was wrong when you visited for Christmas too. At the time, I assumed there had been some dispute between you so I didn't interfere. I am guessing it is the same issue bothering her as five months ago.

Is she alright? I hope whatever it is can be resolved soon.

Wishing your family well, Your mother

June 3, 1920 Dear Mother,

It is a family matter that is worrying her. Do you recall me telling you about Huntington's Chorea when we announced her pregnancy with Anthony? The disease has made itself known in our generation. Her brother has begun to exhibit symptoms. At the moment, it is mainly mood swings and clumsiness. It will only get worse from here on in.

As to be expected, this development has greatly affected Siobhan. Not only is her brother sick, she may be next. It may be fairly likely that by 1930, she could be inflicted with Huntington's Chorea as well. This reality is weighing heavily on all of us. We had desperately hoped we could go without this worry.

Of course, Michael being affected is not proof in itself Siobhan will suffer the same fate. It simply brings the matter close to home again. With the topic so relevant once more, the two of us have spoken and mutually agreed Henry will be our last. We knew having children was akin to playing Russian roulette, long before we entertained the idea of starting a family. If the disease runs through Siobhan and her line, we could have subjected four individuals to potentially inheriting the condition and watching their mother suffer through it.

We both secretly wish we could have given Sophia a little sister. Neither of us admit it, as doing so would be actively insulting to our three sons. We have four loving children. We must learn to admire what we already have.

Yours, Jameson

August 19, 1920 Dear all,

Yesterday brought good prospects to Sophia's future, even if she won't feel its effects until she is 18. They have ratified the 19th Amendment so voters cannot be denied their right on the basis of their sex. Which means, come 1936, she will be able to cast her first vote. Thinking about it, I believe an election is due that year. So there, she will turn 18 at the end of that April and some six months later she can choose which man she trusts more to avoid leading the USA astray.

Technically, women of California gained their right to vote around the same time we moved here. In the very least, I understand that to be true. Unless she moves to another state as an adult, it is the Californian regulations she must pay attention to. Despite being of Irish and Canadian descent, she is still a citizen of the United States of America thanks to jus soli.

Britain and Ireland have only granted partial voting rights to their women. I am told that only those who are over 30 years of age are eligible. I suppose there is more work to be done across the water. While Siobhan has never been the type to tie herself to railings or starve herself in protest, she has been eagerly supportive of the cause.

What are the laws in Canada now? Having lived in America for so long, I realise I've found myself somewhat out of the loop.

Yours, Jameson

September 3, 1920 Dear Jameson,

It's a good thing the world is progressing like this. Judith and Sophia won't have to worry about not having their voices heard. It's exciting to think how differently they will stand among their male peers as they grow up compared to our generation. Honestly, I'm surprised it has taken this long for politicians to realise that they were restricting half the potential voters.

Here in New Brunswick, we were granted the right to vote last year. We still can't run for office but neither myself nor Mother are particularly affected by that. Several provinces preceded us in legislation changes. I think Quebec is yet to catch up with all this.

As for the British Isles, let's hope they lower the age limit soon so that women will have to be 21 like men to vote. The women have really made their case. If they're not throwing themselves in front of the King's horse, they're starving themselves to the point the government introduces a law to stop them.

Yours, Mabel

September 26, 1920 Dear Mother,

I have been debating whether to join you next month for Thanksgiving. When Anthony and Oliver were younger, I wasn't so worried about leaving California. Now that Anthony is in third grade and Ollie will begin Kindergarten next year, bringing them to Canada is proving trickier. In the coming years, when Sophia and Henry become old enough to be sent to school, visiting Saint John will be even more difficult.

The third Monday of October will fall on the 18th this year. Of course, Oliver's 5th birthday is that Thursday. My intention is to stay a little longer than I normally would so you can celebrate it with us. However, in doing so, I would be keeping Anthony from his classes for up to two weeks. You can tell why Siobhan and I are of two minds about Thanksgiving. You could always come in November so we could celebrate it the same time as the Americans. That said, papers are always a hassle and November here is as warm as summer for you. A warm Thanksgiving has never felt right to me.

I will certainly be there at the end of February for your 70th birthday. There is no way I would miss such a special celebration. You'd better be prepared because all of us are coming. You'll have find the space for six adults and five children. We're not trying to cause tedium, I swear.

Yours, Jameson

March 6, 1921 Dear Jameson,

It was such a pleasure to have you back home for my birthday. I particularly love the necklace you bought me. However, by a large margin, my favourite treat was to see your children again. They are all growing so quickly. When Anthony was telling me about 'Peter Pan and Wendy', I nearly had to remind myself that he is already eight years old and literate. What did you do to the boy who was struggling through written words the last time I saw him?

It was especially sweet to watch Sophia and Henry discover snow and frost. I have never seen a child so confused by it. You can assure them I believe their attempt to help their big brothers build a snowman was commendable. I have never met a snowman with such low arms though. I suppose they were unable to reach the torso.

I think you made the right decision by keeping the little ones inside during the snowball fight. Being so small, they would have probably received an accidental snowball to the face in the heat of the moment. These things happen. You fell victim to it a number of times when you were their age.

It is a shame they aren't able to experience winter the same way you did. Maybe we could compromise and agree you will travel to Saint John every Christmas? Either way, thank you for visiting me and I hope you had a smooth journey back to Los Angeles.

Missing you already, Your mother

May 3, 1921 Dear all,

Clifford presented me with a script earlier this week. He wrote the whole thing himself. It's a decent story but he's assigned me the task of improving it. I'll admit, he needs to work on visualising stage directions and how characters will move about the setting. The screenplay has a disproportional quantity of dialogue compared to the action. If we can find a better balance, this will be his first production as the writer. I'm looking forward to discovering how the public enjoys the picture.

My biggest concern is the subject matter. This was clearly inspired by the situation with his children. I know, after spending so long negotiating with Elizabeth to receive them, he feels their letters to him are merely a formality. Lord knows he can't picture Clara as any older than two years old. He's only met Daniel the once, immediately after his birth.

He was so happy last August to be given a second chance with Louise. He deserves the opportunity to prove himself now that he doesn't act so frivolously. I remember how ecstatic he was to receive his first correspondence from Clara herself, as illegible as her childish scrawl was.

Things will be different with Louise. He's not going to be some distant figure like he is to her half-siblings. Even so, he makes a good uncle to his nephews and Sophia.

Yours, Jameson

May 17, 1921 Dear Jameson,

It's good that he wants to branch out. Just be careful. You never know, he may surpass you in the future if you teach him your methods too thoroughly.

Why don't the two of you visit New York again? It could be a nostalgic vacation for the two of you. Not only that, you can bring your children and show them the city. Wouldn't it be nice to show them sentimental places from your time there? Children enjoy learning how their parents' relationship came to be.

Yours, Your mother

May 30, 1921 Dear Mother,

Ah yes, Lady Liberty. It has been a while since I saw her. However, it is slightly absurd to suggest we should go to New York just because his children are there. I will probably take my children to see how the city has changed one day but not to sneak around like some ne'er-do-well.

Yours, Jameson

September 3, 1921 Dear Mother,

This week, Oliver began Kindergarten. Obviously, this is an important moment for him. No-one was more excited to see him attend Selma Avenue than Anthony. I have heard from Ollie himself that his brother keeps him company during recess. While Siobhan and I agree this is a caring gesture, we have privately suggested to Anthony that it may be beneficial to leave his little brother to make friends on his own. As soon as we were done speaking to him, he nodded and promptly went to explain to Oliver he'd be left to deal with the school yard alone. Ollie looked so crestfallen to learn the first week was a trial period. I will never understand my eldest son or his ability to turn on a dime.

However, the beginning of the academic year is not the true reason I am writing. Siobhan is nearly four months along. I have tried to dissuade her from a fifth pregnancy. I eventually didn't have the heart to argue with her. I have always wanted to grant our children a better start than either of us got. She simply wants to give Sophia the sister she never received in her youth. After all our discussions concluding with a decision to leave our family at four children, my will should have been sturdier. If this child is a girl, my resolve will be stronger should she ask again.

In any case, I am happy. I don't wish to be misconstrued. This was as much of my choice as it was hers. Plus, I have always loved seeing how the children interact with their siblings. Our home is a lively one and I am enjoying it being so. It's the kind of household I was accustomed to in Saint John.

Yours, Jameson

February 19, 1922 Dear all,

Did you hear about William Desmond Taylor's murder at the start of the month? It's a terrible thing. I hope they find whoever shot him quickly. Although I never met the man, I did admire his work. Cliff, Pearl and I were discussing him after the news of his death broke. He was a good director from what I've seen.

His final resting place not far from where we live. I decided to pay him a visit. I wanted to tip my hat to him, so to speak. It's Clifford who wants to pay his respects, in my opinion. He is Jackson Trinity's main director, after all. I think he may have taken slight inspiration from Taylor at times.

Yours, Jameson

Theodore Stanley Jackson Male March 2, 1922 Los Angeles Siobhan O'Hara Jameson Jackson

May 24, 1922 Dear all,

The Veterans of Foreign Wars have been selling poppies in the lead up to Memorial Day next Monday. I took the liberty of purchasing a few for you in case you would like to find comfort in them. Or you can leave them be until November, if that suits you.

All the best, Jameson

June 6, 1922 Dear Jameson,

Thank you for thinking of us. Your gesture was greatly appreciated. Unfortunately, you are a little late to this poppy scheme. They began doing the same thing here in Canada last November.

I've returned some of them so you can have some spares. I know how easily young children tend to misplace or lose things. I'm glad you chose to buy some of those poppies. I did not think you would do something meant to support those who fought.

With love, Mabel

August 7, 1922 Dear all,

It is hard to believe that a full decade has passed since I became a father. Hints of regret for missing Anthony's birth do still appear each year. Although, by now, it is so inconsequential. Why fret about one when I've managed to be around for the subsequent four? If he ever becomes upset by it, I can always blame his Aunt Pearl for not running fast enough to fetch me. Not only that, he is at fault too. I could have made it if he weren't so eager to meet us. Still, as I stated before, it's become trivial over the years.

We bought him 'The Story of Doctor Dolittle' and its sequel 'The Voyages of Doctor Dolittle' by Hugh Lofting for his birthday. It's about a doctor who can converse with animals and prefers their company to that of human patients. He has begun reading the first book in our sitting room. I suspect he is trying to get through as many pages as possible before Siobhan finishes preparing the cake. Ollie supposedly left the house to play with Lyra in our front yard. It is very peculiar that Lyra is lying on my bed while Anthony's new bicycle has mysteriously vanished from the hallway. I will be sure to discuss the strange happenings with him, whenever he chooses to return. Do you think I should deny him a slice? At least Sophia and Henry are entertaining themselves quietly inside which makes a change for once.

I am being called for cake so I will end my letter here. It is a jelly roll with strawberry jam so I am looking forward to taking a bite.

Yours, Jameson

November 3, 1922 Dear Mother,

Sophia does not act the way you would expect a little girl should. She enjoys straying from us, usually taking Henry with her, to explore her surroundings. All children accumulate dirty laundry but she may be eligible to set a record. She is hardly rolling in the dirt like some feral creature but, without fail, she will always return to us with some dirt on her person. It doesn't matter if it is soil on her hands or grass stains on her tights. I blame the fact she has nothing but brothers. They indirectly encourage her to play rough by doing so themselves. What's worse is that Henry follows her lead. If she were able to climb partway up a tree, he would surely imitate her. One of these days, one or both of them will harm themselves. It is tiring attempting to keep up with the duo.

What I can see in Sophia is that she finds great joy in using her hands to create. At her age, she does not possess the right amount of dexterity to be presented with the opportunities to truly show this off. She may be slightly too young to be introduced to sewing or knitting. Although, she does show interest in it. Perhaps in a year or two I could leave her in Pearl's care so she could be taught. Unlike Pearl, I may have lost some of my abilities thanks to neglecting the activity.

It is odd that she has little interest in playing an instrument, even a piano. In no way am I expecting every child of ours to be virtuosos simply because of their mother. Besides, Oliver has enough enthusiasm for the five of them. I only feel that it would be a worthy pastime while she grows enough to explore other hobbies.

On a completely unrelated note, have you ever tasted a cake with a pumpkin filling? No, I hadn't either. That is until my birthday on Tuesday. Seeing as I was to become 35 years old and my birthday happens to fall on Halloween, Siobhan thought it would be a clever idea to do something special this year. If pumpkin is an acquired taste, it is not one I have acquired. Not that I would ever admit that to her. She put so much effort to please me that I could never break her heart her like that.

I can never escape pumpkins whenever my birthday approaches. The children love preparing several of the fruit to leave outside our home on the 31st. Oliver even asked to receive one for his birthday two weeks ago. I had to remind him that it would be thoroughly rotted by the time the holiday arrived 10 days later. Maybe I should film a short based on carving pumpkins one October. It would have to be a short. If any man can create a decent script for a full length feature inspired solely on carving pumpkins, I'd like to meet him.

Yours, Jameson

January 18, 1923 Dear all,

Germany's economy appears to be worthy of living among the trash. Their prices are so inflated that I wouldn't be surprised if a loaf of bread cost me millions of marks. Didn't they attempt to fix their financial troubles by simply printing the money at one point?

See, I can't understand why Germany were made the scapegoats. They came to the aid of their allies the same way the British Empire and United States helped ours. If any country should be blamed, it should be Serbia for the assassination and Austria-Hungary for declaring war on them in response. I suppose it could be easier to point fingers at the country who have been at the forefront of Prussia for centuries. Of course, despite the books I've read on the subject, I could be talking nonsense. They do say you should never discuss politics in polite conversation.

I also hear they are growing increasingly anti-Semitic. You're likely to find that sentiment anywhere you go. However, it is unnerving to hear they are naming scapegoats within their own country. Anti-Semitism amongst Christians has always confused me. Yes, the Jews chose to persecute Jesus. Was that not the whole point? I wouldn't say the population of Jerusalem were possessed. A higher power possessing you, now that is a scary notion. No, influenced is a better term. The Jews were influenced to play their part in a plan that had been centuries, no millennia, in the making. For Christ's sake, Mary herself was Jewish. You don't see anyone condemning her, do you?

Long story short, I have yet another script idea brewing. Something along the lines of a man being able to conjure surplus amounts of money at will. Originally, I planned to make the protagonist's powers akin to that that of Midas but with dollar bills. I'm unsure what the end product will look like.

Yours, Jameson

April 25, 1923 Dear all,

We have added a couple of new members to our family. They are two Jack Russell Terriers, a brother and sister, whom we have named Woodrow and Holly.

No, we did not name one of our pets after the last President. We were inspired by the Hollywoodland sign they're constructing near our area. It's meant to draw potential homebuyers to this part of Los Angeles.

I have heard some advice that siblings should not be brought home together. It is related to their pack dynamics, one must be dominant no matter what. It can also negatively influence the way they interact with humans and other animals. However, I believe with the correct training, all this can be avoided.

The children adore them and Lyra seems to tolerate the puppies. With five children and three dogs, we appear to have made quite the family.

Yours, Jameson

#the life of jameson jackson #tlojj #jameson jackson #jacksepticeye #writersofjack #my writing #crosspost #originally posted on Quotev and AO3 on Dec 9th 2018

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deveharrington · 6 years ago

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💣 PhD Thesis: An objective assessment of Davinique 💣

Submitted to: The HMS Davinique’s Captains Quarters

Author: someone who cannot even comprehend their own interest in this topic.

Disclaimer:

This is a very in depth analysis of Mr. Duchovny and Ms. Pendleberry as I see them. What I say may on the surface contradict the notion of respect but please know that I do this OUT OF respect for them. Mainly, I want to know them better and know them as a real human beings, not infallible ideals.

Also, sorry to David Duchovny himself for continuously referring to him as “David”, as if I know him. I don’t. Ideally I would only refer to him as “Mr. Duchovny” but I got tired of typing that out. Sorry Mr. Duchovny! lmao.

Abstract:

My conclusion is that the Davinique relationship has its meaning inside Mr. Duchovny’s head, as in, it has everything to do with David’s inner psyche and unresolved emotions. Then there is the conflict of David’s mind clashing with his reality. For now, I can only conclude that his behaviours are operating in an attempt to address a truth he may not even be able to admit to himself: that, in this stage in his life, he is feeling bored and lonely.

He may also be confused about the current state of his life and unsure of which direction to take next. I want to elaborate on the evidence at hand rather than just simply label it as a “midlife crisis”. The best way I can describe my stance is that I see David as someone who has a lot of energy to give and a lot of drive to succeed, but right now he has no idea where to focus his efforts. In this way, we could see his relationship with Monique as a target for his energy. There is also the appeal for him that it is brand new, like a new “project”, and it relieves his loneliness.

I don’t believe this relationship is purely about sex. But I don’t think love or genuine partnership are involved either. To me, this relationship has nothing to do with what Monique can offer David on an intellectual or companionate/partner level. I see the main driving force of this relationship being what it offers to David as an opportunity to do something for himself and through his own efforts.

By analyzing his behavioural pattern, I have also concluded that David does not know how to properly process his own emotions, and this leads to chaos in his behaviour and subsequently his real life. Yet, David is very good with words and arguments and can always justify his own actions in the end. So he essentially lives within this cycle. Perhaps frustration arises when it seems like he is making the same mistakes over and over.

In order to come to my conclusion I approached the relationship as if it were entirely serious to both David and Monique. There is always the possibility that this is simply a relationship of convenience on both ends, and I think this is the default reaction of anyone who views this relationship purely on the surface. Out of respect to David though, I tried to view it through his perspective.

I feel like this is the closest I can get to a direct explanation of their relationship: that the relationship exists to make David feel better about himself. And the person who is making David feel better is not Monique, but David.

Theories are under the cut! Thanks so much to anyone who reads this ❤️

To preface: On the subject of Monique and why I am focusing mainly, if not solely, on David for my analysis.

There will be a lot of focus on David, if not solely a focus on him, in my analysis. This is because I believe that he took advantage of Monique, her lack of maturity and experience, and manipulated this situation for his own gain. I see him as the instigator of this relationship, the one who calls all the shots, and this may be part of the appeal of the relationship to him (more on that later).

To be fair to David, I also discuss that he may not actually be consciously aware of this, that he has used his proficiency with words and his independent thinking to not only fool Monique but also fool himself into believing that this relationship is appropriate.

I do not believe that Monique desires to be famous or that she craves attention (at least not to the extent that that is why she would agree to be in a relationship with David). I believe she has a genuine admiration, affection for and attraction to David. Her interactions with him are different from some celebrity relationships we may see and know right away are strictly PR. In some ways, David and Monique may actually have more “chemistry” than Peter Morgan and Gillian Anderson. As in, there is a clear business element to the Peter and Gillian relationship that the David and Monique relationship does not have. Also, I believe David and Monique are genuinely attracted to each other but David may not be completely honest about his intentions, and if this is the case, then shame on him.

And I know people will not like what I just said but I stand by it. And honestly, someone please argue with me on this, because even I am confused by my own instincts. But for now, I choose to simply follow them.

What I think is also happening, with regards to Monique’s social media posts, is that Monique is simply too young or too inexperienced socially to have any tact or notion of privacy within a relationship. And people will blame her for this but really the blame lies on David. He should have considered these things before committing to a relationship with her, and I, as well as the rest of the world, do not consider ignorance of social media a viable excuse.

However, I also cannot shake the fact that if she really cared about David, she would respect his privacy as this seems like something that is very important to him. As well, she must know how badly their relationship comes across, so why would she want them to be exposed to the public and David seen in a bad light? Some questions I simply do not have the answer to.

SECTION ONE: Theories addressing the foundations of David’s behaviours

While creating my theories, I noticed some common themes. I consider these to be foundations for his behaviours and expressions. These ideas may also be involved in the way he rationalizes his own behaviours to himself. But please remember that they are just ideas, and not facts.

💣[THEORY 1] A lot of his behaviour, and especially this relationship with Monique, is an expression of the intense love he has for HIMSELF. Yes, seriously. I am talking about ego. And when an ego is that massive it needs constant attention and maintenance. Later in the thesis I suggest that he requires constant stimulation, change, and challenge, and I think it is related to his huge ego.

To relate it to Monique, I see this relationship as an energy source for his ego. And he found a source that will give what he feels he needs for little to not cost to himself, so why wouldn’t he be attracted to this situation?

And that is ok to have a massive ego. What I don’t think is ok is people lying about themselves or denying what they are. And actually I suspect David may be doing some lying about his intentions and probably even lying to himself but I need to process that thought more.

💣[THEORY 2] David lives in his head. His novels demonstrate that he has an active imagination. Also, his interests seem to have an artistic and creative element to them. Therefore, with regards to his relationship with Monique, I believe that the meaning of this relationship exists in his head, and cannot be fully understood by what we see on the surface (for example, pictures alone).

💣[THEORY 3] David is shallow. Sorry to David for this accusation. For the sake of the theory, I will take it seriously for now. I will discuss this more in-depth later in the thesis. For me, it is more than just being shallow about women’s physical appearances. I feel like his actions and arguments can also be seen as shallow and also driven by shallow motives. It could be that he reacts quickly to things according to a shallow understanding of the world. This could also relate to another theory I will discuss that suggests that David is easily excitable. There is also another possibility that he is very self conscious, but this is just a thought to put out there for now.

For example, if I were to try to relate it to Monique, I could say that David got excited when he met Monique because he was overwhelmed with the possibility of the situation. Not just a sexual relationship, but just a new relationship in general. I mean, just speaking objectively, he must’ve also been thinking about the opportunities to have a partner who would conform mostly to his lifestyle and cater to him. And I think he is also the type not to waste time. I’m kind of grossed out by what I wrote here so I’ll just leave it at that. Again, its just an idea.

💣 [THEORY 4] David demonstrates an unwillingness to mature and change. There is some evidence of a habit of repeating the past because it services him, and he is just lucky that he has the privilege to live this way. He makes no attempt to try to learn any new ways of coping with his issues because his issues can be solved through easier means (examples: money or privilege).

💣 [THEORY 5] David demonstrates a fear of closure. Ok, now is the time for some wonderful Gillovny talk (I swear i’m not being sarcastic). I love trying to solve the Gillovny puzzle and I don’t even know why.

Under this theory I will use Gillovny as an example, or at least what I make of their situation.

I believe that David and Gillian love each other very deeply, and in such a way that “friends with benefits” does not do justice to their relationship. I think they know this as well. However, I believe they purposefully keep themselves in limbo, playing each other and playing themselves, even communicating indirectly between themselves, because they are afraid of the depth of their own love (really!! Its just my theory, lmao).

I think their love is unique, so it is unfamiliar. They cannot figure each other out like they would figure out a spouse, friend, or life partner. They cannot forsee how they would make the relationship work through a plan or concrete means. They can only know their feelings but I think both of them are also afraid of the fact that they cannot control their feelings. They simply cannot see what their actions will lead to, so I think they default to avoidance. Avoidance of commitment, deep intimacy, trust, and rejection are the things I see they would do out of fear. So they kept their relationship light and open, probably rationalizing it as some type of liberal relationship, when in reality they are afraid the other half would leave them at the drop of a hat.

At least, I believe there is more to their relationship than just “friends with benefits” or even just two people who once dated for a few years. To me, there is no way their relationship would capture people’s imaginations the way it has if it were simply straightforward.

OK! So on the subject of fear of closure I’ll just give this example: David and Gillian keep their relationship light because they are afraid that committing themselves would “kill” the relationship somehow. Maybe they see themselves as both being about “the chase”, rather than “the reward”. When in reality they are just deathly afraid. But I think that they are also denying themselves of the affection and intimacy that all human beings need. For what reasons? I don't know.

AND lets just contrast this with his relationship with Monique, as it is almost he complete opposite: NO WORK AT ALL! More on this later, it has been stated already that it seems like David took the easy way out, and I feel that that basically sums it up. But I will go one step further and suggest that maybe David wants the easy way out right now because he was recently hurt by his breakup with Gillian (Ok sorry, yep they’re not joking when they say Gillovnies are crazy lmao).

💣 [THEORY 6] David tends to deflect and project himself upon others, while keeping his own heart guarded. But I think he does this subconsciously (which will be discussed later in the thesis). He imposes himself but has no intention of actually listening to feedback and changing himself. This is an issue of communication.

In trying to relate this to his relationship with Monique, we could say that he wants to be the sole agent of change in a relationship and want that his own life and interests would take priority over the relationship. Actually, I can see how this would also be a burden on his relationship with Gillian (to be discussed later).

SO, actually, on that note, to those who have a strong reaction to this relationship, don’t worry. Because we actually cannot be sure of David’s emotional engagement in this relationship. I suspect there is very little coming from his end in terms of respecting his partner. It could be that Monique is literally just a sounding board for David to reflect himself and see himself. And a plus is that Monique will listen to david and consider his words because she does not know any better. Later in the thesis I discuss a theory that suggests that David trapped Monique into this relationship financially because of the traumatic experience of his divorce.

To try to illustrate my idea that he projects onto others, I will use an example from his “music”. David wrote a song titled, “Mo” (and yeah, its just a funny coincidence that it sounds like a nickname for Monique, lmao. Please note that he wrote the song before he met her, so I’m pretty sure there is no connection to her).

When speaking about the song he uses the general term of “people”, stating that “”people” don’t know when to quit, nor don’t know when enough is enough”. Um, interesting statements coming from David.

In my initial rage to the song I wrote this, lmao: David has the audacity to tell us/the world that WE don’t know when to quit. This song is about HIM but he is too glib to realize it or literally his defenses are so high that he cannot be that honest with himself.

For David, clearly it would be easier to present this song under some guise of being some form of all seeing prophet, tortured artist, poetic literary graduate or even just “dad having fun with the band” rather than ask HIMSELF these questions. He asks US, “when will YOU be satisfied?”. Its like he just took his sex addiction therapy homework and started singing it.

I think you get my point... he cannot face issues within himself so he tries to correct them in others. This gives him a brief moment of accomplishment but the fact remains that he has unresolved issues within himself.

Leaked footage of David writing “Mo”:

💣 [THEORY 7] He has been conditioned all of his life according to behavioural principles of reward and punishment (and this goes for every human being on the planet). He has habits he falls back on because they work, and he won’t change these habits because he has no reason to. This is no fault of his own, it is basic human behaviour. So, if his life has mainly been privileged then he will continue to act privileged.

For me, though, I sense something is wrong in that I also see David as someone who likes to expand himself and excel. So why is he like... stuck in a rut? spinning his wheels? My main assertion is that he is honestly just bored.

Even just compare his career right now to Gillian’s. She has so many projects coming up, and she focuses herself on acting and family, always improving. Could it be that David may actually have some self esteem issues? that he doesn’t believe in his own acting or he gravitates towards hobbies that do not threaten his self confidence, almost “collecting” them in order to build his identity? Its just a thought.

I believe he has a natural drive to succeed. But right now the problem is that he has no idea where to direct his efforts, and this leads to frustration. So, with regards to his relationship with Monique, he is focusing on her for now.

SECTION TWO: Theories of the mind

💣[THEORY 8] David is so smart that he has fooled himself. As in, he is so observant and insightful as well as so proficient with words and arguments that he has the ability to convince himself that he is correct in any situation, especially if the situation is also involving his emotions. The downside to this is that he has a hard time admitting his own faults or even seeing them. This would then interfere with his maturation process.

I stated in the abstract what I feel to be the cycle of David’s behaviour. I will re-iterate here:

Step 1: David becomes excited, his emotions take over.

Step 2: David acts without thinking, having rationalized to himself that perhaps “life is too short” or whatever he must tell himself.

Step 3: Chaos ensues in the real world, reality pushes back and is out of control.

Step 4: David’s privilege allows him to survive reality. David’s proficiency with words and his large ego causes him to rationalize in his head that he is correct. He succeeds, moves on, and repeats the same mistake in the future.

💣 [THEORY 9] David subconsciously gravitates towards and ends up creating these conflicts because he is bored. Ok, this is all I can come up with for this theory for now: nowadays he is singing lovesick songs for his ex-wife but, he’s the one who threw the marriage into turmoil so??? what dude?? lmao.

Actually, I think this idea is better explained in Theories 11 and 12!

💣 [THEORY 10] David is the type of person who gets excited by “newness”, potential, and opportunity. He is easily excitable and requires constant stimulation. Take for example, all of his scattered interests and projects. Could there also be an underlying fear of “finishing what you start” or seeing the end of things? what exactly does he want? i think he does not even know himself exactly what he wants. Perhaps he enjoys the process more than finality.

With regards to Monique, this theory is better explained in Theory 20.

💣 [THEORY 11] David is subconsciously drawn to challenge and competition. He has a drive to impress. I feel that this is the true David: an ambitious guy who excels at whatever he sets his mind to. I once referred to his “scattered interests”, but I also believe that he is very open minded and capable of learning very easily. Actually, perhaps the scattered interests are like a diluted expression of his true self, because for me, the sign that something is off is that he doesn’t finish what he starts or there does not seem to be progression within his hobbies. I know some may not agree with me and thats fine. What i’m saying is that what I see is him spreading himself thin but not fully committing or going any deeper into his interests. almost as if he collects them for his identity or self esteem.

And this is where I sense a little issue: why is he not trying to come out on top with his acting? Why is he not pushing harder to direct this movie that has recently been put not he back burner? Maybe I am just being too demanding of him (lmao) but perhaps he is giving up a little bit? Just a thought.

i think David is also used to getting his way, with women, with work, and honestly it has to do with his position as a white male as well. But I feel like his true nature needs to be challenged and perhaps he is feeling a frustration that he is not being challenged enough? Hence, the restless lifestyle.

Relating this theory to Monique, it could be that she is simply an audience that he can impress. And I think the lack of challenge is exactly what initially drew David into this relationship and is what keeps it afloat. *sigh*

💣 [THEORY 12] David subconsciously desires results from his actions that are not straightforward. Meaning, he himself is not straightforward nor does he want things to come easily or simply to him. Ok, so here is just my theory: that David does not want to simply say that the relationship is solely for sex or simply for partnership, even if the reality may reflect this. I think it just comes back to his ego and him wanting to see himself as deeply complex or compassionate or anything but simple.

In regards to his relationship with Monique, I wouldn’t be surprised if he has created his own logic, or moral reasonings for the relationship. Suffice to say that this happens mostly in his head, and undoubtedly according to his own moral laws that he creates. I also think he does this so that he cannot be judged according to society’s moral barometer, since, technically speaking, if the laws were created by him then we couldn’t judge him according to any other laws. Again, this is related to him living in his own fantasy and having the means in the real world to make that fantasy a reality.

💣[THEORY 13] On a very deep level, he may have been drawn to this relationship due to the complexity of it, for example, its moral complexity or the taboo nature of the age gap. If the relationship seemed complex to him he may have interpreted it as a challenge, and I think he simply loves challenges. I know that is a stretch to say, but its just a theory to consider.

💣 [THEORY 14] David is not in touch with his own emotions, and this is what leads to the strange manifestations and expressions of the self. As well as him not being able to reflect upon himself, admit or accept his own limitations. For example, he might not be able to admit to himself he is bored. How can he if he is under the illusion that he is busy? I will add more to this eventually.

In terms of “strange manifestations/expressions of the self”, I propose a theory that David feels lost right now, he doesn’t know how to act in a precise way because he doesn’t know exactly what he wants. So he puts out a vague expression, and when that vague expression rightfully receives a vague response, he becomes frustrated that he was not received exactly the way he wanted to be received. So it is a cycle as well.

Or, he may even just simply be in denial of his old age, but I don’t want to default to that argument just yet.

💣 [THEORY 15] David is out of touch with the current times, and chooses to be out of touch. He well and truly lives in his head, and can afford to. He is also trying to live in this modern world with very old fashioned attitudes.

💣 [THEORY 16] David wants to have his cake and eat it too. As in, David wants the fun but not the consequence. For the most part, he has always been getting his way. Most likely he has just become accustomed to this.

💣 [THEORY 17] David does not truly understand women, therefore he cannot fully respect them. He also does not see women as equals. He does not desire an equal partner in a relationship. This is a huge assumption and accusation and I apologize to David already, but I feel like I have to get it out there as a theory at the very least.

To preface this discussion, for me, mere political statements with no action backing them up is not enough. Therefore, David having a female lead in his newest novel is not enough to believe that he is not a mysogynist. I look at actions to form theories and beliefs. Especially when someone says one thing and does another, which, to me, is more telling than any words.

I just don’t accept an argument such as, “Because David does X, it means he is not a mysogynist”, since I feel like that attitude can express itself in a multitude of ways. I just see David as untrustworthy (sorry David!), because of all of his rationalizations and unwillingness to be open to new ideas. I don’t see him as hopeless, just stuck in his own world that works for him.

Having said all of that, I think this theory speaks for itself with regards to the relationship with Monique. I think it is obvious enough what is going on. Actually, would it be possible to see their relationship any other way? As in, seeing David as some form of female crusader trying to demonstrate that women are not only equal to men, but equal at any age, regardless of lack of experience, education, life-lessons etc.?

SECTION THREE: Theories of reality

💣 [THEORY 18] The subject of intimacy, as objectively as I can assess it. My conclusion is that Monique is simply the kind of woman that David is physically attracted to. I looked at the clues: in the past, he liked brunettes with kind of masculine faces, almost as if he wanted the woman to look like him. The woman’s body was masculine as well. I’ve stated before he has a large ego, and this is a trait of having a large ego.

@iva69s provided a lovely visual that sums it up:

💣 [THEORY 19] David trapped Monique into this relationship financially because of the traumatic experience of his divorce. I can see this as a component, but not the driving force of the relationship. Its just something to consider.

And maybe I shouldn’t use the word, “trapped”? I just mean that he is the main provider and most likely the one who calls the shots of all of their activities, together and separate.

💣 [THEORY 20] David loves being a father, loves teaching, and loves imposing himself. But now that his kids are grown, he misses them and feels lonely. Ok, i’m not even completely sure of this theory myself but I feel like it must play some role. Or at least, the pride of fatherhood is one aspect of David that seems genuine to me.

Being a father gave David the opportunity to also be a teacher, a hero, a provider, a protector etc. It also made him a main figure in his children lives, next to the mother. It was a positive role for him, it appealed to his ego, desire to impose, and love of challenges and unpredictability.

But now that his kids are grown, he simply misses playing that role. His kids are becoming more independent and he wants to try to hold onto the past. Enter: relationship with Monique, and the opportunity to keep being a teacher, hero, and provider.

And when I try to relate his relationship with Monique to being a father, please know that I mean this in the most objective way possible. I am in no way insinuating that David is a pedophile or anything related to that, that is a serious allegation that I do not claim to have any evidence for nor belief in.

So, here is a theory that I don't even know about myself but it just came to mind: maybe David also sees a lot of potential in Monique. He gets excited by this potential so is now trying to expose her to different countries, life experiences, and giving her life advice.

So, he is attracted to Monique’s youth not in a sexual way, but for what it means in terms of potential. On the surface it looks like something completely different (again, related to him not appearing straightforward), but in David’s mind, he has rationalized it as clean intentions, maybe even a noble cause.

Actually though, one thing I really cannot figure out about this relationship is why David would allow Monique to give up her post secondary education. This is appalling to me. And incomprehensible given what I thought to be David’s stance on the importance of education? Does he really think that he is a better teacher than post secondary education? That what he can give Monique would be better than a degree? I mean, I guess we can’t rule out this possibility.

💣 [THEORY 20] We keep asking, “does David not care how badly he looks with Monique?” and I think the answer is, YES, he does not care! When in the past has he ever cared about his image? And why would he start caring now? Just look at that poor fashion, those dance moves, those idiotic things that he’s said in the past. I think he’s an independent thinker who holds strong to his beliefs, and I respect him for that. The issue for me is that he seems unwilling to listen or be open to other perspectives, and unwilling to admit when he is wrong.

💣 [THEORY 21] His circle enables him, and he chooses his circle specifically to enable him. This is honestly just a theory, I don’t know anyone in his circle, I don’t even know David himself.

But one thing that strikes me is that his band that he travels with is comprised of younger guys. Like??? I don't even know.

Ok maybe I should do research? Does anyone know if there is someone in his circle that would benefit from this relationship? Are there any connections between the youths?

Wait, and what the heck are the adults that know David thinking in this situation? Maybe they just know that it is impossible to tell him what to do or change his mind? Ok, maybe I will look further into this.

Maybe this is not just a theory but the actual reality of the current situation. I have no idea. Things just don’t add up for now, I don’t even know if I can believe that no one around David has spoken up or has objections. God I wish I knew the dirt, lmao.

💣 [THEORY 22 - LAST BUT DEFINITELY NOT LEAST] Gillian is taken! What happened between them? No seriously. something happened. Is Monique just a rebound? God, I hate being pro-Gillovny, its torture! Does anyone know if, during the time Gillian and David were supposedly together (tumblr lists it as starting around 2012), was David spotted with anyone else? I mean, wouldn’t that be a giveaway that they weren't together? Would David ever cheat on Gillian? And if so, can I be the one to personally admit him to a mental ward? TOO MANY QUESTIONS!! And so much “painful” research to do 😇

Thats it! Thats the end! (for now) Are you still alive? I’m not!

#Thanks so much again #Davinique #David Duchovny #Monique Pendleberry #Gillian Anderson

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