#‘i just thought they were the same’ IS IT BECAUSE THEYRE BOTH BALD

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Unable to get over my friend kayla thinking magneto and lex luthor were shipped together and shes so adamant on it for a solid five minutes while im just ‘the hell are you talking about’ while we’re playing rivals and shes like ‘no like werent they in a movie together with wolverine and they were young or something’ until she finally realizes she meant charles

[beesgav]

Finally getting into 09! since the strategy I used last time seemed to work well, I’m gonna be doing it again. Thoughts on my first reading session under the cut!

- whoof... name overload. I recognize some, like Berix, but a lot of these names I have no attachment to. but I also know that’s standard, even though it breaks the somewhat-consistent pattern of introducing characters in groups of six. I’ll get used to it

- The green fellow might be Gresh? He’s the defacto main of 09 until Mata Nui comes along, right? And his friends, maybe Kiina and an ice fellow I don’t remember the name of. I don’t think this comic even gives their names.

- Malum is here too. Is he an antagonist?

- Oh yeah, this is where the purpose behind divvying up the genders the way they did early on really comes to light. It comes off as backwards to have an element purely relegated to one gender, but it at least means that, because of how prevalent water is as an element, there will always be a female character within the main cast. Once you take that qualifier away, though, it’ll wind up sliding back into all-male teams, as you can see with Berix, Tarix, etc. It happened earlier with Vezok, but it’s really overt now.

- I just know I’m going to be mixing up Metus and Malum because of their names. Even worse because I think Metus is, like, an ice guy?

- i know i shouldn’t be but I’m avoiding using the wiki this go-round

- “Well, let’s see,” said Strakk. “You want to send a fully loaded carriage eastward through the Black Spike Mountains, over the Dark Falls and then through Creep Canyon.” what creative names

- I’m also assuming that Glatorian are to Agori as Toa are to Matoran - the same species, but with a different set of skills/abilities. Or is Glatorian more just a job an Agori can take up? Are they the same species at all?

- “The only Glatorian Strakk had ever really gotten along with was Malum, one of the fighters from Vulcanus. Even after he was exiled from his village for trying to kill Strakk in the arena, Strakk still respected him.” Okay I’m starting to like Strakk.

- Gresh is baby

- I’m not even joking they keep calling him “little one”

- I have to wonder, when does this take place in relation the story happening on Aqua Magna? Like, I would assume it’s somewhat concurrent considering what happens later, and I know it doesn’t really matter, but I have to be curious

- I also have to wonder the lifespan of an Agori/Glatorian, since Strakk seems to directly remember the Shattering, but Gresh is too young to

- “Mountain Strikers were birds of prey whose wingspan could be as wide as five feet.“ That’s not... too terribly large. Like, it’s big, but that’s smaller than a Bald Eagle

- it’s kind of, uh... hamfisted that Tarduk is like “Man, if only we could control the elements we’re associated with! That would be really cool”

- Oh dang, the Matoran language! I wonder if it was used by the GBs/Agori prior to the shattering, or if this cave was legitimately used by the Matoran while they still worked on the planet. That’s pretty cool

- “You ran straight into a Scarabax swarm. That was stupid,” Strakk explained. “Then you fell into a Scarabax swarm. That was also stupid. The sand bat was smarter than you.” Strakk is such an asshole I really like him

- Gresh... dives into a river and immediately knocks himself out cold

- Maybe I’m biased but I like Kiina a lot

- It also looks like we’re finally getting our elemental cast together! Gresh, Kiina, Ackar, and Strakk are all names I vaguely recognize as being important. Shame everyone associated with rock/earth is, uh... allied with the Skrall?

- At least Malum knows how he stands with the Vorox, I guess. I’m not sure whether I’m supposed to like or dislike him, considering he’s being put up against both the heroes and villains, but isn’t a totally despicable dude either

- AND NOW THEYRE FIGHTING A ROBOT SCORPION

- Ackar’s fire-head thing looks dumb

- Malum keeps calling people “old man”  - brushing aside the fact that “man” and “woman” are now terms at play here - how young is Malum supposed to read as? He tells Ackar he’s past his prime, but honestly I was envisioning Ackar and Kiina as being, like, a little older than Gresh but a fair amount younger than Strakk, but I guess Ackar is closer to being Strakk’s age?

- also, for some reason, even though I’ve never seen anything other than promotional stuff for HF, I keep mixing Malum with William Furno in my head

- it’s probably because he has, like, a mouth. with teeth. That’s just weird to me

- oh god TLR is going to be so weird

???????

why does he have a cordak blaster

- this comic also talks about him killing the strongest male, which implies there are also female vorax, and probably baby vorax. I know we’re on a different planet now but it’s still weird to think about Bionicle Babies

BERIX’S FACE

- “As a vehicle pilot in the arena, he was just one more Agori fighter in a world dominated by Glatorian.” Okay, so this implies that they are considered separate

- “This is bad. This is very, very bad,” said Raanu. He looked up at Gelu and waved the map. “Do you know what this is?” “Bad?” offered Gelu. Maaaan why am I loving the ice Glatorian the most haha

- “ Now and then, Malum would start ranting about his treatment by the villagers of Vulcanus. Gelu would give Ackar a look that said, “Are we sure about this guy?” but he already knew the answer was “No.” I like all these assholes

- Thornax are just spiky bula berries. Or i guess it’s the other way around?

- The relationships between the villages are interesting- Even though they’d do much better to be united and oppose the Skrall and Bone Hunters together, the villagers are fractured by war and have this delicate and potentially costly system set up. Tuma uses that to his advantage. weakening Tajun in particular because he knows that the other villagers will take advantage of their weakened state, and won’t help them in danger.

- Oop, here’s the traitor mentioned for the first time. In my wiki-browsing, I’m aware it’s someone, but I don’t quite remember who. I have suspicions, but I’m not gonna look it up

- “ Strakk sat down, propping his feet up on the table. Kiina knocked them off with a swipe of her armored hand. “ That’s rude, Strakk

- “Why doesn’t that fill me with confidence?” Strakk muttered. “You just better hope the Bone Hunters don’t fill you with Thornax,” Kiina said, smiling. “And ruin my good looks?” Strakk replied. “They wouldn’t dare.” HNG I LIKE THEM A LOT

- This year is also a lot more explicit in terms of characters dying. Like, sure, there likely were fatalities amid the Bohrok crises and the Rahkshi attacks, but the story never focused on how many Matoran actually died. The only place its gotten to a similar level was in 06, where there were a lot of deaths among the Zamor-controlled Matoran of Voya Nui. This time, however, it’s actually, like, really clear about how often and how many Agori and Glatorian are dying

- Ackar is, like, the perfect candidate for retirony considering he’s getting old and the only other Glatorian of Vulcanus is an insane wastelander, but considering rising star boy Gresh isn’t even of his tribe I have a feeling he’s gonna be sticking around for a while

- awwww I like the idea of the Glatorian gradually becoming more heroic and altruistic, even if it’s edging more towards idealism than cynicism. That kinda stuff feels very Bionicle to me, where times are incredibly tough, but in the end the heroes manage to scrape by and create the groundwork for a better future.

OH FUCK

so I, uh... think I may need to cut it here. This has to be where the movie starts, yeah? The site that I’m using to read these volumes changed, so now I can’t tell how far I actually am into the story since I’m reading off of a webpage and not a PDF now.

My plan is to watch the movie and then pick up here when I’m done, since I’m honestly so excited to watch it. I grew up with STNG and I just found out Jeff Bennett is also in it and I’m PUMPED.

[shhhhyoursister]

childhood friends to lovers!au

yes i am uploading these all at the same time what about it???? yeah so this the one where david is a rich kid who is “forced” to play with matteo (who is autistic in this au) but of course they become best friends because theyre soulmates so ahh i hope you like it!!!

He knows that he shouldn’t be climbing the tree.

His mom has told him at least a hundred times that he shouldn’t. She always tells him that he’s going to fall, bump his head or break his arm, and he needs to come down right this second or he’s going to bed without any dessert which is almost always enough to convince him.

He wraps his legs tight around the branch he’s on and let’s himself fall backwards, hanging with his head poking out just enough under the lowest leaves so he can see if anyone is there. He knows that Laura is doing schoolwork and his mom had been cooking something last he saw her, and he thinks it’s still too early for his dad to be home from work. His eyes scan the huge backyard, and, seeing nobody, he grins and grabs onto the branch to swing himself back up.

He stands, looking down at the dark blue velcro sneakers that he had begged for last time his mom had taken him shoe shopping, and starts walking across the branch like a tightrope. He holds his arms out, careful not to knock into any leaves  or twigs jutting out at him. He gets to an upward curve in the branch and puts a foot on it.

It’s higher than he’s climbed before. Usually by this point someone has noticed that he’s gone, his mom or Laura bursting through the glass double doors that led to their backyard, yelling for him. Always calling out a name that makes him glare and wrinkle his nose. He almost loses his footing thinking about it and refocuses.

He knows what his goal is, and he’s only a couple feet away from reaching it. There’s a birds nest in the tree, high high up, that he’s been watching every morning with the binoculars his dad bought him. His mom would watch him pointing them out the window at the pretty blue bird, and one day got down on her knees next to him, pointed to it, and said, “There are going to be new baby birds in the nest soon, I saw two eggs. That mama bird is going to have two little baby birds, just like me.”

And he’s been trying to get a closer look ever since. He loves watching the birds, the whole reason his dad had bought him the binoculars in the first place, and he will spend hours just lying on his back in the grass, sunglasses (that his dad also bought him) snug over his eyes, watching the birds fly overhead.

With his mission reset in his mind, he looks up, seeing the nest close by, and only a little bit higher than he is. If he puts his foot right between those two forking branches, and shifts his weight just the right way and grabs onto that one branch at the right time, he’ll be able to look into the nest. He takes a deep breath and tries to focus. He plants his foot and shoots up next to the nest, grabs the branch, and shakes a leaf out of his face. When he opens his eyes he grins, and starts laughing.

He can see two little birds in the nest, and they’re ugly. Gray and fuzzy, pink bald heads, huge eyes barely open as wiggle around. He watches for a moment, wishing that he could reach out and pet one but listens to his mother’s warnings against doing such. He rebalances himself, shifting his weight onto a different foot, and almost stumbles. He gasps and catches himself quickly. He grins at how fast he was able to grab onto the branch but quickly realizes his mistake when he hears an angry squawk.

He had grabbed onto the branch with the nest, the branch strong enough not to move but his hand close enough to the nest to alert the mama bird, who had been somewhere close by the whole time. He gasps again, quickly letting go as the bird jumps closer to his hand, and starts yelling as he loses his balance enough with the surprise to start falling backwards. He hits the ground, hears a crack and the worst pain he’s ever felt shoot up his arm, and he screams until he hears his mom running out the back door.

***

He throws the biggest tantrum when the doctor, along with his parents, tell him that he isn’t allowed to play rough or run around or climb or do any of his favorite things for weeks. He doesn’t even know how long a week really is but it sounds like it might last forever, and he cries and kicks his legs the whole time they’re in the doctor’s office. It’s summer so all of his friends are going to be playing outside and riding their bikes and going swimming, and now he’s being told he can’t do any of that? It’s the most heartbreaking news a six year old could’ve gotten.

On the way home from the doctor, his parents drag him, still crying, and Laura, who’s just excited about all the fanfare, into an ice cream shop. They tell them to get whatever they want, and he orders at least four different flavors through his angry tears because he always orders for himself. He only stops crying when his dad sets down the huge paper cup of ice cream in front of him, a spoon shoved in it, and says, “Go crazy.”

After he eats until his stomach hurts his parents take him to the store, lead him to the video game section, and tell him to choose three new games. He picks fast, his Wii still so new that he only cares about getting games for that, and his eyes are completely dry by the time they get home that night.

It’s later that night that his parents tell him the news. They both come into his room to tuck him in for the night which is unusual, but he’s thrilled that he’s going to get double the attention, not even complaining like usual about Laura having a later bedtime than him. His dad sits in the big chair across from his bed, his mom settling down on the edge of his bed, both smiling at him.

“You did quite a number on yourself today, kid,” his dad starts, grinning while trying to maintain some kind of authority. His mom looks at his dad and smiles, holding back a laugh. He glares between the two, much less happy about their presence in his room if they’re just there to make fun of him.

“I just wanted to see the baby birds.” he mutters under his breath.

“Well, you have your binoculars for that,” his mom said quietly, placatingly, patting his leg, “and we have some news that might make you a bit more happy.”

He looks up at that, wondering what else his parents were going to give him. He’s no stranger to gifts and treats, but he thought that the new video games and the ice cream were going to be it. He smiles, excited for whatever else it is they have planned.

“Do you remember Mrs. Florenzi? From the restaurant?” his dad says, smiling at his mom again.

The restaurant. He frowns again, not wanting to get into the topic of his dad’s job. He doesn’t even understand what his dad does. All his other friends’ dads are lawyers, or doctors, or other big words that he doesn’t understand. His dad seems to just...own a lot of things. One of those things being his favorite restaurant, that he had purchased a few years earlier. His family went there a few times a month, and he could remember Mrs. Florenzi if he really focused. Long brown hair, kind eyes, always smiling when she sees him at a table. She’s a chef there but sometimes would sneak out of the kitchen to pinch his cheeks. He nods.

“Well, I don’t think we told you, but she has a son around your age, and she needs someone to look after him some days when she’s at work. Since I’m home, and already have two crazy kids running around,” his mom says, poking at him until he giggles, “why not take in a third?”

He tilts his head, thinking about that. He has friends, lots of them., but if he’s going to be stuck inside because of his arm, it might be fun to have a new kid around. Especially so he doesn’t have to go to Laura if he wants to play with someone else, because they fight as much as they get along. After a minute he smiles, says, “Okay!” and drops his head to his pillow as his parents laugh.

Having another boy around sounds like fun.

***

The next day, after breakfast when he’s wandering around his playroom trying to find something to do that was fun but wouldn’t cause his mom to tell him to settle down because of his arm, the doorbell rings. His head pops up, and he runs out of the room just in time to see his mom open the door.

Mrs. Florenzi is waiting on the other side, and he frowns, not seeing a kid with her. She’s smiling and greeting his mom, talking in that way that moms always do when they drop off or pick up their kids. He’s not shy, not in the slightest, but he hangs back a bit. He wants to know where this other boy is.

Mrs. Florenzi seems to notice him, and ducks down to wave, and he waves back, and then walks over and past his mom, and pushes his face out the door to look around. When the moms laugh he pulls back, kind of annoyed at that, and demands, “Where is he?”

The moms laugh again and he considers pulling the face that his mom always chides him for, pouting his lips out big and glaring so hard it makes his head hurt. He hates being laughed at by adults.

“Sorry honey, he’s a bit shy. Matteo, do you want to meet your new friend?”

That’s when he notices the small hand clutching desperately onto Mrs. Florenzi’s skirt. His mouth twists up a little; he doesn’t usually get along with shy kids. He finally sees a blond head poke out from around her, the face on it looking nervous but also a little excited. They stare at each other until Mrs. Florenzi shoves the kid in front of her.

He gets a good look. Matteo is small, scrawny even, and his shoulders are hunched in a bit, making him seem even smaller. His shoes are dirty which he hopes means that Matteo at least like playing outside, and the scratches on Matteo’s knees that match his own makes him even more hopeful. Matteo looks at him, tilting his head, not saying anything, and then he looks off to the side, his hand clenching in the hem of his shirt.

“Hi, Matteo,” his mom says, bending down so she can smile at Matteo, and then shoves him forward and introduces him.

She doesn’t do it right though. She never does. Nobody ever does. He scowls.

Mrs. Florenzi pushes Matteo forward again, into the house, and thanks his mom before leaving for the restaurant with a kiss to Matteo’s head, and something whispered in his ear. He watches the door after she leaves.

He hopes the kid doesn’t start crying.

His mom sends them off so she can do something in the kitchen, and he and Matteo look at each other. Matteo looks nervous almost, probably because of the fierce glare on his face, so he decides to clear that up before the other kid tries to say something.

“That’s not my name you know,” he says, and turns, making his way to the playroom because that’s always a good place to start with new friends, “I don’t have one.”

“You don’t have a name?” Matteo asks, his voice quiet, his face confused, “Then why did your mama call you that?”

He shrugs. Matteo looks uncomfortable with that answer.

“But- everyone has a name,” Matteo says as they reach the door of the playroom, his hand twitching at his side, looking up at the big door in front of them, “you have to. How am I gonna talk to you if you don’t have a name?”

He rolls his eyes, something his parents started scolding him for the second he learned how and when to do it,  pushing into the playroom. Nobody really gets it. He shrugs again, and says, “I don’t know but if you call me that I’ll beat you up.”

Matteo’s eyes pop open and he looks nervous. He nods, pushing his arms out at his sides, twisting them in the air and then snapping them back down at his sides.

He nods back, glad that they got that conversation out of the way. He looks around the playroom when Matteo doesn’t say anything, trying to find something to do with this quiet boy who seems like the opposite kind of kid than he usually plays with.

“You have a Wii?” Matteo asks suddenly, pointing at the white console attached to the big TV in the room, his other hand twisting at his side. He’s smiling for the first time since he had come in, bouncing on his feet.

“Yeah!” he exclaims, hoping that Matteo would want to play video games with him because that’s always easy and Laura never wants to, “I got Smash Brothers when I broke my arm, do you wanna play?”

Matteo grins and nods, rocking up onto his toes and his hands flapping at his sides as the game is set up. They both settle in front of the screen in the special chairs his dad had bought for him and Laura, his a light blue (that again, he had to beg for), Laura’s a darker purple. Matteo starts rocking in the chair when he realizes that he can get the momentum to.

“I know!” Matteo calls out a little while later, after they had played enough of the game that they were joking around and laughing with each other, Matteo losing every round but having fun regardless, “We should have nicknames! I want to be Luigi!”

He snorts and asks, “Why Luigi? He’s not as cool as Mario!”

“He’s green, though, that’s my favorite color. I don’t like red.” Matteo says, shrugging and shaking his head, focused completely on the screen in front of them. He’s tapping his fingers on the controller in his hand, pressing buttons, selecting and deselecting his character.

He nods, looking at the character selection screen, thinking that if Matteo picked a Nintendo nickname, he needs to do the same. He considers a bunch of different characters before landing on one and smiling, and he turns to Matteo, proud even though Matteo doesn’t look at him.

“I’ll be Link!” he says, and Matteo turns to him, smiling just as wide.

“I like Link, he’s green too!” Matteo says, and turns back to the screen, starting the next round.

They play for hours. They switch between playing different video games and looking at Pokemon cards and playing dress up with the chest in the back corner and bothering his mom until she feeds them, and when the doorbell rings and his mom calls them both down, he thinks fast.

“Come on,” he whispers to Matteo as he grabs his arm and yanks him out of the playroom, “and don’t talk about my room.”

He opens the door and shoves Matteo in first, glancing down the stairs to see his mom standing at the door, talking to Mrs. Florenzi. Neither of them seemed to notice so he follows and closes the door quietly behind him. He tries to ignore the fact that Matteo is staring around at everything.

It’s not that his room is small, or boring, or that his bed is uncomfortable or that there are monsters hiding in his closet waiting to eat him (he’s too old to be scared of monsters). It’s just ugly. The wallpaper was put up before he was even born, when his parents first found out they were having another baby, and the pink and white flowers made his head hurt. There were lots of marks on the walls from balls he had thrown and toy rocket ships he had “launched into space”. The canopy draped over his bed was cool when he closed it, pretending that he was in a tent in the middle of a jungle, but any other time he despised it.

Matteo stands in the middle of the room, his head tilted back, staring at the ceiling above them. It’s covered in those little glow-in-the-dark stars and planets, something he had begged for after seeing it on TV once. Matteo seems to get lost in his own head, still staring up but spinning in slow circles around the floor. He turns to the door when they both hear a mom voice calling them down, and Matteo’s head whips back to him and he holds a finger over his mouth.

They hide as long as they can, quietly giggling, until his mom decides to check his room even though he almost never chooses to go in there, especially not with friends. Matteo looks like he’s going to cry when he’s escorted out with Mrs. Florenzi’s hand gently pulling his, and he waves bye as the moms reassure the two that they’ll see each other the next day. His mom closes the front door and turns to him with a smile.

“So, did you two have fun?” she asks, and instead of answering he runs into her legs and hugs them.

The next morning can’t come soon enough, and when the bell rings, he jumps up from the table to answer it, ignoring his mom yelling behind him that he needs to come pick his chair back up. He unlocks the front door (he doesn’t know if his parents know he can do that) and smiles at Mrs. Florenzi, who smiles back and pinches his cheek. She greets him and he frowns at the name.

Matteo runs past her into the house, his face bright, and they run up the stairs and into the playroom before they even say hi to each other. He can hear the moms laughing fondly behind them, and he closes the door to shut them back into the little world they had created around them the day before.

“Hi Link.” Matteo giggles, a hand over his mouth like he’s sharing in a secret, and he kind of is.

“Hi Luigi,” he says back, unable to stop his own giggles from  escaping, and then points to the TV and asks, “wanna play more?”

Matteo nods enthusiastically, spinning in a circle before flopping into the same chair he had sat in the day before. He starts setting the game up like usual, but frowns when he turns the TV on and doesn’t see the usual black screen with words on it that he could read if he cared enough to.

“What’s wrong? Why isn’t it working?” Matteo asks, and he looks over, and Matteo is staring at the screen, his eyebrows drawn down. He gets up, walking closer to the screen, examining it like he could figure out how to fix it. His hands come up and start rubbing at his arms as he squints.

“My stupid sister did something and then didn’t fix it,” he muttered, and Matteo’s head whipped to him, a surprised smile on his face.

“That’s a bad word, you can’t say that!” he scolds, but he looks secretly pleased.

“I know all the bad words,” says, smirking, proud of that, “even the really bad grown-up ones.”

Matteo looks at him, awe on his face, and he starts bouncing and says, “Wow, I think you’re the coolest friend I have!”

He grins, puffs up his chest a bit. He knows he’s cool, but hasn’t ever been called the coolest before. He’s going to have to make Matteo say it again in front of Laura.

Remembering his sister, he frowns again. He thinks that Laura may have watched a DVD and then not fixed the TV after, and he doesn’t know how to make it the Wii again. He has to either go ask her to change it, or find his mom.

“I have to go get my sister,” he says to Matteo, and then points off to the cabinet containing the Pokemon cards they had looked through the day before, “you can look at those but be careful, they’re fragile.” He doesn’t really know if they are but he had heard his dad call important things that before.

Matteo nods and he walks out of the room, running down the hall to Laura’s room. He isn’t in the mood to talk to his sister when he already has a friend over, especially a friend who thinks he’s cool, but he kicks her door a couple times, bangs on it with his fist, and yells, “Laura!”

He keeps up the noise until the door is wrenched open. Laura is already glaring, her curly hair frizzed around her face making her look even angrier, and he just grins when she crosses her arms over her chest, scowling at him.

“What do you want?” She asks, sneering, and he puts a frown on his face to match hers.

“You messed up the TV, and I have my new friend over, and we can’t play video games!” he sneers, crossing his own arms over his chest, “You need to fix it!”

“Ugh, fine,” she says, and stalks out of her room, shoving past him to get to the playroom. He clenches his fists and follows after her. She closes the playroom door in his face just as he gets to it, and he smacks it with his fist before yanking it open with a growl.

He sees Matteo pressed against the wall on the other side of the room. It seems like Laura hasn’t even noticed him, as she’s focused on the TV, but Matteo’s eyes are wide. He looks towards the door and places a hand flat against the wall.

“Laura, this is my super cool new friend Matteo,” he says, pointing to the boy cowering against the wall, who only presses himself more into it, “Matteo, this is my stupid ugly sister Laura.”

He smiles when Laura shrieks and throws down the chord she was holding, and runs out of the room, yelling behind her, “I’m telling mom!”

He turns to Matteo, who’s still against the wall, but with Laura gone he looks a little less tense. He puts a finger on his lips and waves Matteo over, and once he’s close enough he grabs his hand and whispers, “Come on, we have to go hide now.”

He tugs on Matteo’s hand and quickly, quiety leads him down the stairs. He doesn’t know where his mom is but he can hear Laura stomping around upstairs so he figures they’re safe for a bit. He can see his mom washing dishes at the sink, her back to the hallway that led to the basement, and he tugs again.

They get to the door and he slowly opens it, trying to avoid the loud creak. Once he gets it open as silently as he can, he turns to Matteo and is about to tell him to follow, but as he takes a step down onto the first stair, Matteo’s hand twists out of his.

“No,” he says, stepping back, shaking his head, rubbing at his arms again, “I- I don’t like the dark. I can’t go in basements.”

He grabs for Matteo’s wrist to try and drag him down anyway, but Matteo rips his arm away and wraps it behind his back fast. He glares, and is about to complain and whine and whisper that they need to hurry up because Laura is coming down the stairs, but Matteo glares back at him. He’s wants to argue but instead he rolls his eyes and pushes Matteo back, and then walks past him to the back door.

He pulls it open and runs outside, not even waiting to see if Matteo is following, because Matteo isn’t going to get in trouble if they’re caught. He runs until he finds what he’s looking for, the large shed in their backyard that housed various tools of his father’s and larger toys and bikes and such of his and Laura’s. He puts a hand on the doorknob, and then finally turns, and sees Matteo a little ways behind him. He decides to be nice and take extra long to get the door open.

He can suddenly hear his mom calling for him. His eyes widen and he tugs Matteo inside, who doesn’t seem happy at David’s hand on him so he lets go as soon as he can close the door. He puts a finger over his lips again, and even though Matteo looks mad at him he does the same.

He leads him to the back of the shed where there’s an old playhouse that his dad had built for him and Laura. The only reason it’s in the shed is because he, not loving the colors his parents had chosen for it, decided to splash a can of old black paint he found in his basement all over the exterior walls. He had gotten in trouble for that, but a new playhouse was in it’s spot the next week, a light blue one instead of the pink and purple that the original had been. He opens the door, quickly checks around for bugs or mice, and, seeing a clean enough space, steps inside.

Matteo looks around before hesitantly walking in behind him. He isn’t used to having friends as sensitive as Matteo seems to be, and he reminds himself of the words his mom would sometimes say to him when he’s getting frustrated at someone else, when he’s being too stubborn to think about how someone else might be feeling. His own brain is still a little too interesting to himself, all the thoughts and feelings that come so quickly and leave just as fast, and he sometimes needs to be reminded that other people have their own different, interesting brains.

“We can hide here for a little bit,” he whispers, and then noticing Matteo staring down at the ground, shoulders hunched like the first time he saw him, “are you okay Luigi?”

Matteo looks up, twisting the ends of his shirtsleeves around his fingers.

*** PART TWO

David’s high school graduation present is top surgery. Nothing about it is a surprise due to all of the meetings and consultations and doctor’s visits he needs to complete before they can do the surgery, but it goes by fast enough, probably due to his father’s presence. Or more his father’s money’s presence. He knows that he’s lucky, and can barely even remember the annoying process by the time he’s out of surgery, and on his way to healing again.

They had scheduled everything so he’d be able to go back to school on time, still finishing up the last of his recovery, but healed enough to do the rest of it on his own. As someone who already had a lot of confidence, getting top surgery makes David feel like he’s on top of the world.

His parents take him on a huge shopping trip before he goes, order him everything he adds to his college wishlist on Amazon, and help him pack up his car when it’s time for him to leave. They hug him goodbye, reminding him to be safe, and smart, and to focus on his work but also to have fun, and to call them if he needs money or food or anything. He waves them on and hugs them both quick, too excited to start this next phase of his life to stay and chat long. He gets in his car, starts the engine, and laughs hysterically as he pulls out of the long driveway.

And of course, he thrives there. Being raised in the family he was, he knows how to network, how to get himself out there in the exact ways he wants. The first person he meets is his roommate Jonas, a nice guy around his height with curly brown hair. They bond quickly over the fact that they both brought tons of music posters to hang around the room, and Jonas doesn’t even blink at the trans flag he places in a cup of pens on his desk. He’s perfect.

His classes are easy for him, and more fun than he expected, even the ones not relating to his major. He speaks well, has always been a good student, and gets on all his professor’s radars within the first few weeks with how articulate and insightful he is. He jokingly thinks to himself after getting praised one class for his eloquence, thank god for private school.

He joins as many clubs as he can, too. One for photography, making a note to look for the nice camera he had gotten one Hannukah, some kind of club that he ends up dropping because all of the other guys in it are the type of film bro that David always swears to never become. He also joins LGBT clubs, one for trans people specifically and one more general, and blushes when he’s asked to join the Burlesque club, turning the invitation down with a pleased smile. He makes friends fast through all the clubs, quickly finding people in each of the little niches he was forcing himself into. He tells all of this to Amira with a proud grin that falls the second she decides to start calling him Mr. Popular.

There are other things he does well in, up at school. He’s a little put off at first, how quickly people are to come up to him with small, private smiles already on their faces, touching his shoulder and laughing even when he doesn’t say something funny. The people who would squish themselves up against him at meetings, or put a hand on his arm to ask him a question about something in class. He can’t say he minds the attention at all, feel a little bit in his own cocky way like some prince with suitors parading around his castle doors. It only goes to his head a bit.

That stops a couple months in, when he starts actually noticing the girl in one of his only non-film classes that had been making eyes at him since the first week. Their professor always has the class sit in a circle to “better facilitate discussion” or whatever, after David notices her looking at him, a small smile on her face with her eyebrows raising when she sees him noticing her,, and they spend the rest of that class, raising their eyebrows at each other and smiling, daring the other not to laugh.

David catches her on the way out of class a week later, and finds out that her name is Amelia, finds out that she has one dimple on her left cheek that gets bigger when she laughs, and finally finds out that yes, she’d love to get lunch with him. She has hair that she tells him she dyed the mixture of greens and blues one night when she was drunk off of a bottle of wine and found her roommate’s leftover dye in their bathroom. She

When David gets back after his first year is over, he feels accomplished. He had done fantastic in all his classes, had clubs and friends to return to once the next year started, and as he drives home, music blasting in his car, he realizes he’s excited to have some time off.

When he gets back both of his parents are waiting by the door to greet him, proud smiles on their faces as he tells them about finals, and how much he misses his friends and Jonas and his girlfriend, that he’s definitely going to be inviting some of them to the house over the summer, and that he needs a new pair of headphones because he lost his good ones in the chaos of moving out. He feels like he’s rambling, but he’s excited to see his parents and actually talk to them again.

They tell him that they want to take him out to dinner to celebrate him finishing his first year and doing so well, and he runs up to his room to get changed at their insistence. He would’ve been happy just staying at home, ordering something from the local Mexican place that he’s been missing, but he know if they have an idea for something more celebratory he won’t be able to stop them. That’s confirmed when his dad calls up the stairs that they have a reservation at the most expensive restaurant in his town.

He gets into the backseat of his dad’s truck, buckling himself in and quickly taking his phone out. He wants to see his friends as soon as he can, and had promised to text Amira when he got home. He opened his conversation with her and started typing.

David: Hey, sorry I didn’t text sooner, my parents wanted to take me out and they’ve barely given me time to breathe

As he waits for a response, he realizes that he should probably text his girlfriend, too. He snorts at himself for not thinking about it and opens his messages with Amelia.

David: I’m back!! You’re probably still driving so keep your eyes on the road and text me when you’re home <3

He gets a text from Amira just as it sends, and he switches back to that conversation.

Amira: Ah yes, your best friend is much less important than a fancy dinner David: 🙄

He was going to send more but before he can, his mom sighs, and he hears, “Oh look, we haven’t gone there in so long!”

He picks his head up and looks out the window in the direction she’s staring, and they’re at a red light so David has time to realize that it’s the restaurant his dad owns. He tilts his head, biting the inside of his cheek, and goes back to texting Amira, and checks to see if Amelia responded.

“Maybe we can go another night,” his dad says, turning his head just enough to catch David’s eye over the back of his seat, “we need somewhere fancier, our son just finished his first year of university with straight A’s!”

David smiles before casting one more look out at the restaurant as his dad starts driving again, and once it disappears from sight he turns back to his phone. He doesn’t like to think much about the restaurant, though he knows the reason they haven’t gone in a while. He doesn’t like to think much about that reason, either.

After Matteo was sent to live in Italy, David had a rough time dealing with it. He had lost his best friend, the one person he could talk to about all of the new and terrifying thoughts that were just beginning to drift through his head, he lost him before he even had a real name for him to know. He was angry, at the world for taking him Matteo away, and then at his parents for refusing to let him talk to Mrs. Florenzi about it.

“You don’t understand,” they said to him one night, after he had gotten so frustrated he had kicked a hole through his door and thrown everything off the desk in his room, “yes, you lost your best friend, but she doesn’t have her son with her anymore. If you ask her about him it’ll just make it worse. We know you miss him, but this is for the best.”

He didn’t talk to them for weeks. After about a week of complete silence in the house Laura stormed into his room with the intent to yell at him over something, and it all boiled over. He started crying the second her glare focused on him, and then he started talking. He told her about how Matteo was the only person who understood him, didn’t question what he did or said or called himself, just offered support and companionship no matter what. Through his tears, in a shaky voice, he explained to her that he was a boy, that it was okay if she didn’t want to talk to him anymore but he couldn’t deal with only one person knowing, especially if he didn’t have that person anymore.

She had sat on the edge of his bed and listened, nodding along until David could breathe again. She thanked him, told him that it was okay that he was angry, and asked if he had a name he wanted her to call him. He had hung his head, ashamed that his answer was no. She had nodded at that too, and said, “Well, we’ll find one then.”

David sighs at the memories that had come flooding back at the sight of the old, slightly dilapidated restaurant, and texts another friend. His dad orders a bottle of wine at dinner and pours David glass after glass, until his mom cuts him off with a tipsy laugh of her own, and he’s smiling with red cheeks when they leave later that night, stumbling to the car on steady legs as his parents laugh fondly at his state.

He collapses into bed that night with an urge he hadn’t felt in a couple of years. He takes his phone out and unlocks it after a couple of tries, ignoring the messages from Amira from earlier and opening Instagram. He gets distracted commenting on a friend’s post, but then goes to the search page and hesitates before typing in Matteo Florenzi.

He’s done it before, of course, tried to find him on every new social media site that popped up over the years, and he’s never found anything. That’s why he sits back up in his bed, his jaw dropping open as he sees an account called matteohno, and sees the profile picture, sees that he can almost recognize the face in the tiny circle, and he clicks it.

There are more pictures than he expects. He scrolls to the bottom, trying not to get ahead of himself, and clicks on the first picture he sees. It’s tagged with the name of some restaurant, as far as he can tell, and Matteo is in frame, David can tell it’s him. He has the same button nose, same floppy, dirty blond hair, same half smile on his face like he’s waiting for the right time to let a full one out. David lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

He scrolls through all of the pictures, his heart tightening each time Matteo is in them. The memories that have always been hard to think about, of a little boy, sensitive, quiet, happily following David’ lead, were especially hard to reconcile with these new pictures. Matteo looks like he’s grown into himself, more confident in himself or his abilities, David doesn’t know, but it makes him smile and send a pang of something through his chest.

There are pictures of food, and Matteo alone, and Matteo with random other people, all the captions in Italian so David can only guess what they say. He stops when he sees one, Matteo and some other young looking guy, their arms draped over each other’s shoulder as they laugh and each hold up a rainbow flag.

He locks his phone on the image, feeling something strange and nostalgic twist up in his gut, and drops his head onto his pillow. He closes his eyes, thinking back to days full of running through his backyard, hiding from angry parents and talking more deeply about life than kids should be able to.

He wakes up the next day, mid afternoon, with his head pounding and his phone buzzing with a FaceTime call from Jonas.

“Hey, man, is this your shirt?” Jonas asks, and David squints at his screen to see button down shirt he’s holding up, “I think it got lost in all my shit.”

“Uh, maybe?” David says rubbing a hand over his eyes. He blinks them open again and sees Jonas on his screen, smiling knowingly.

“Too much fun celebrating with the parents, huh?”

David flips him off.

“Okay, okay, love you too bro,” Jonas says, chuckling, and then continues, “I have to go though, I just found out that one of my old friends is coming back from Italy this week, I need to call him and yell at him for not telling me.”

David feels his face drop, but puts a smile back on and says goodbye before Jonas hangs up. 

[crossovereddie]

Thoughts on S10xE3

CAMS ARMS HOLY SHIT 🥵🤤

You can see the actual fear in mickey’s eyes when Ian says who the letter is from

I love that they each have their own separate prison friends and EVERYONE knows Mickey is Ian’s boy :(((((

You can tell the last thing ian wants is to hurt Mickey and that hurts ME

Mickey’s defenses were on high alert. He’s terrified of losing Ian

The pure panic on Ian’s face when Mickey says he’s gonna fuck other people

Mickey doesn’t WANT them to screw other people. This is his defense mechanism. He doesn’t think Ian wants to stay with him. He doesn’t think he’s enough.

Ian’s gonna show him he’s enough!! That’s actually a thing that happened!!!

HE WANTS TO WAIT FOR EACH OTHER

IAN WANTS TO MAKE MICKEY HAPPY IM GONNA CRY AGAIN

I wanna hold Mickey please let me

Mickey asking if the baby is a boy or girl makes me emotional? He doesn’t like lip but he still cares because he loves ian :(

Like when my husband asked how the episode was even though he really doesn’t care 😅😂

SOLO MICKEY SCENE? SIGN ME TF UP

That bald dude has me super on edge. When that other guy comes to whisper in his ear....am I just being paranoid?

Mickey seeking relationship advice had me emotional again because he couldn’t even kiss ian for the longest time and now he’s seeking advice from a man in prison who knows terry? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

PARTNER🥺

PLEASURE😩

Ian almost shiving someone to stay in with Mickey is the type of redeeming I was talking about

Sorry ian haters this is officially an ian hate free zone (unless he does something in later episodes that pisses me off. I’ll keep you updated)

Mickey is such a fucking BOSS he has prison men who actually follow him and it’s adorable(probably not the right word but everything Mickey does is adorable to me)

THE FUCKING EMOTIONS IN THIS SCENE LIKE IAN IS ON THE VERGE OF SOBBING

Mickey is the strongest person I know

He’s always wanted to be where Mickey is and I’m not crying you’re crying

THEYRE BOTH SO SELFLESS

MUTUAL I LOVE YOUS BITCH

AND IAN SAID IT FIRST BABY IS REDEEMED

Cam’s acting *chefs kiss*

THROW THAT SHIV AND GRAB YOUR BABY

They kiss the same every time and I cry every time

They’re so in love 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Mickey is the best boyfriend and Ian knows

The soft fond look ian gives Mickey when he gives him the phone is the look Mandy was talking about in s3 but to the extreme🥺🥺🥺

THE SOFT TOUCHES IM SO FOND THEY ARE SO IN LOVE IVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

That was episode THREE y’all. T H R E E!!! How are we gonna survive the rest of the season?! There’s a PROPOSAL coming! And a WEDDING! My bitch ass was sobbing at mutual I love yous how am I gonna breathe through mutual I DO’s?! Sigh. Let me know your thoughts!

[haikyuu-drabble]

"I wish that 'good night' was followed by an 'I love you'", with Bokuto or Tanaka, please? Theyre my favorite characters. Lmao please kill me with their heartbreak!

I FUCKED UP AND WROTE ABOUT THE READERS HEARTBREAK OMGMGGM but thank you for requesting omgdslkfj

wanna request an angst prompt? here !!

KINDA SPOILER IF U DONT READ MANGA

______________________

tanaka x reader | Fresh

word count: 1213

You had knocked on the door of your next-door neighbor. He had to be home from practice by now, right?

Someone opened the door, and you grinned at them, “Saeko-neesan!”

“Long time no see!” Saeko beamed at you, “How is high school treating you?”

You walked through the front door and thanked Tanaka’s older sister, “It’s going alright. It’s still a little too soon since I just started.”

Saeko pretended to wipe a tear, “I can’t believe you and Ryu are already first years.”

“Time has really flown by, hasn’t it?” you beamed.

You headed towards his room and knocked. “Come in.” Tanaka answered.

When you opened the door, you came across him changing and immediately closed the door, “Ryuu, what the hell?!”

“Knock next time!” Tanaka yelled through the door.

“I did!” you called out.

“I-I thought you were my sister!” he stuttered.

You sat in front of his door and waited for him to finish changing. Once he opened the door, there was a giant blush across his face. You broke out in laughter, “It’s your fault I walked in on you!”

You walked past Tanaka and into his room. You sat on the floor and looked around, “Man, it really has been a while since I was last here.”

Tanaka laid on his bed and thought, “It has been, huh?”

You turned around to face him, “Well, you gotta keep up with practice if you wanna get better.”

Tanaka grinned at you, and you could feel your heart rate increase. You turned back around, so that you were no longer facing him. The last thing you wanted him to see was the blush on your face.

You met Tanaka after he moved into the house next door when you were in the 5th Grade. Your parents made you guys play together because you were both the same age, and he was new to the city. Even back then, Tanaka looked intimidating, but soon after meeting him, you knew him to be the kind person he actually was.

You don’t know when you started to develop a crush on the boy. When you told your friends, they thought it was odd. They didn’t see him as conventionally handsome, but you thought otherwise. He had such an amazing personality. He was strong and kind. He was very considerate of other people’s feelings, and the biggest goofball you knew. It confused you to no end how no one else saw what you did. Tanaka asked, “So, what are you doing over here?”

You stood up and looked around his room, “I was just thinking that I hadn’t seen you in a long time especially now that we’re going to different schools now.”

He sat up from his bed, “What are you looking for?”

“Now that you’re in high school, there’s gotta be something suspicious in your room.” You laughed.

Tanaka jumped from his bed and picked you up from your waist, “Stop!”

You were laughing even harder when Tanaka said, “Oh, that reminds me. Help me with something.”

He put you down, and you turned to face him, “Help you with what?”

Tanaka walked out from his bedroom, and you followed after him. He stepped inside of his bathroom, and you watched him dig through the drawers. When he found what he was looking for, he held it up and grinned, “Help me shave me head.”

You looked at the electric razor in his hands and furrowed your brows, “What?”

You recalled the day that Tanaka had come over to your home with a bleached head. You thought it was Saeko playing a prank on him, but he explained that he wanted it himself.

The two of you were in his backyard, and there was a towel draped over his shoulder. You had the razor in your hand now. You turned on the razor and shakily announced, “Okay, I’m starting…”

“Why do you sound so nervous?” he asked.

“What if I mess up?!” you yelled.

“How could you mess up? I’m just asking you to shave it all off!” he responded.

“Stop yelling at me, Ryuu!” you panicked.

You moved your arm, and you heard the razor start to cut hair. You looked at what you had done and burst out laughing. Tanaka looked at you and asked, “Why are you laughing?!”

You could barely answer him you were laughing so hard. Instead you gave him the mirror that you’d brought out earlier. He grabbed it from you, and there was a well-defined line of baldness in the middle of his head. Tanaka turned red from embarrassment, “Hurry and cut the rest!”

You were scrambling to grab your phone to take a picture, but he grabbed it before you could, “No pictures! Just give me the razor and let me do the rest!”

You were finally able to calm down, “No! Okay, fine. No pictures. I’ll finish shaving your head! Just sit in front of me!”

You were finally getting into the groove of shaving his head, when you asked, “What’s with the sudden need to change your hairstyle?”

Tanaka was silent, and you looked at his face to see what was going on. He had a blush on his cheeks. Your heart stopped. You tried to act normally, and you moved back behind him. You turned on the razor and laughed, “What’s with that expression on your face? You like someone?”

Tanaka didn’t answer you again, and you took it as him confirming your question. You refused to say anything. You felt like if you did your voice would have betrayed you.

You shaved the rest of his head in silence. When you finished, you passed him the mirror, and you saw him smile in its reflection, “Thanks for doing this!”

You gave him a small smile and stood up, “I should probably be getting home now. It’s getting late.”

Tanaka took the towel off his shoulders and stood up, “I’ll walk you home then.”

The walk to your house was a quiet one. When you reached your front door, Tanaka beamed at you, “Thanks again for helping me with my hair.”

“Don’t worry about it.” you smiled softly.

“Come over again soon!” he turned around to walk back home, “Good night.”

“I wish that ‘good night’ was followed with an “I love you.” you mumbled.

You thought you said it quietly enough for him to not hear it, but he immediately turned around. You flinched and covered your mouth with your hand. He ran towards you, “What did you say?”

You slowly lowered your hand, “I-I love you, Ryuu.”

His mouth fell open, “I-I… I’m sorry.” Tanaka bowed towards you, “I like someone else!”

You gave a sarcastic laugh, “Trust me. I know that now after today.”

“Don’t worry about me.” You looked at him and tried your best to smile, “Look. I’m going to go inside. Just head home. Now that you’re hairless, you might catch a cold.”

Tanaka stood up straight to say something, but your sad smile stopped him. He watched you walk into your house before walking away.

Once you closed the door, you fell to your knees. You were broken. Your heart was shattered. He never must have thought of you as more than a friend if all it took was a couple weeks at a new school to fall for someone else.

[mercenarypark]

tf2 mercs and pets

ive been writing on this since yesterday and now im sick of it so heres a lot of words i made to distract myself from my father #animal abuse #abuse #physical abuse #antisemitism #insects #spiders #dogs #cats #birds #snakes #long post #text heavy

-medic, obviously, has a LOT of experience with birds. his mother had a cockatoo that he was basically raised with, and throughout his childhood he would always try to befriend the wild birds around their home [on the occasion he was allowed outside, that is]. in college/med school, he kept up that same trend, earning a less than stellar reputation as "that weird fucker who tries to climb trees around campus to get a better look at the birds’ nests", alongside his other reputations, "the weird gay jew who doesnt understand personal space" and "probably the cause of at least three "disappearances" throughout the semester since they were last seen harassing him"

-BLU engie gets ein[the canary] after a family member dies, they werent particularly close but the guy didnt have a will or any friends willing to take the bird, and engie was basically the closest living relative available [note: only BLU engie has the canary, not RED engie, and he recieves it a few years after joining the mercs]

-pyro kept the dalmation puppy they take in the comics, and he's a big comfort for them, they'll sometimes spend hours just playing with him or hugging him to calm themselves down from a panic attack; funny thing is, no one's entirely sure what pyro NAMED him, not even the people who can usually understand pyro's mumbles[engie, medic, solly, demo]. all 4 of them seem to hear completely different things so theyve just kind of accepted as a group that the dog has four different names that are all equally valid

-pyro also loves a lot of bugs, BLU py had a pet praying mantis for a while until the administrator made everyone move bases again, this time to a much colder climate- they were worried the mantis wouldn't survive the lower temperatures and released it before they left; theyve also kept tarantulas, ants, and stag beetles before -engie is also really into ant keeping and he and pyro bond over that, engie builds big elaborate setups for their ant colonies

-medic talks to birds, a lot, and seems to hold full conversations with them a lot of the time. not just his pigeon flock, either, but any bird- from sparrows to falcons to parakeets

-demo volunteers at the "kitten orphanage" shown in end of the line- hed work at the regular human orphanage too, but... he has too many bad memories of his own time as an "orphan". the kittens all love him, engie will sometimes come by to find demo sprawled on the floor on his back, three kittens on his chest, one asleep on his neck, one kneading its paws on his cheek, one chewing on his shoe...

-medic doesnt understand dogs. hes not scared of them, not really, he just. doesnt understand how they work. he cant read their body language at ALL and he was rarely around them as a child. he's ok with cats, though he still cant understand their body language that well, and sometimes irritates the shyer or more aggressive ones by being too affectionate- he only blames himself for getting scratched/bit though

-spy says he never had pets growing up, which is probably a lie- he just doesnt want to give anyone any information about his childhood and family life. he's mentioned once or twice that he wouldnt mind getting a pet snake, though, which engie thought was fucking hilarious and fitting

-scout actually didnt have pets growing up- her family spent a lot of time trying to make ends meet, and a tiny, shitty apartment w/ her, her ma, and her 7 siblings wasnt exactly an optimal environment for a pet. she always liked cats, though, and mice, and after she joins the mercs she grows to really love birds, too, because theyre Everywhere at the bases

-[RED] demo got his parrot, joyce, from BLU soldier[only RED demo has the birdman of aberdeen in my hcs]. solly found it in a bush somewhere as a chick, and brought it to demo. demo has no fucking clue how the hell jane managed to find a baby parrot out in the badlands, but he winds up taking her in, getting a lot of help from medic to get adjusted [medic is absolutely delighted and fawns over joyce the whole fucking time he loves her so much]

-demo's really worried for the longest time that he wont be able to take care of joyce properly ["i can barely keep myself together, how'm i supposed to keep you alive?"]  but he grows to really love her and she becomes an emotional support animal for him, on some of his worst days he keeps himself from drinking himself into a blackout by keeping her busy and happy

-she becomes even more important to him after the WAR update events, as a living reminder of his old relationship with jane; it hurts him sometimes to look at her and remember the grin on jane's face when she first handed him that parrot chick, but he loves joyce anyway and nothing's gonna change that

-demo also used to own lizards, he's partial to bearded dragons

-both RED and BLU solly are licensed falconers and wildlife rehabilitators. no one's entirely sure how. but its the reason shes allowed to have her Horde of Raccoons and also her fucking bald eagle [note: BLU solly is the one with the Compatriot, RED solly is the one with LT bites and the other raccoons]

-engie grew up with farm animals, because of course. he's good with horses, pigs, cattle, and sheep, and working dogs. one of the times the mercs had their bases relocated, they wound up in texas so RED engie took everyone out to his family's old farm [he pays to have it taken care of while his dad's... gone and he's w/ the mercs]

-spy flips the fuck out when he realizes just how fucking huge hogs are. then someone[scout] absolutely knocks spy into the mud with the pigs and he gets trampled and everyone laughs. also spy is mildly terrified of horses. spy does not have a good time at dell's farm

-speaking of terrified of horses, demo,

well really he's not terrified, hes just distrustful. it takes a long time for tavish to warm up to engie's horses, with a lot of reassuring from dell that hes not doing something wrong

-medic's pigeons are extremely affectionate and loyal to him, first and foremost. at least one or two accompany him at pretty much all times, except for when they're locked into their aviary at night. they also love heavy, scout, and pyro, and like/tolerate everyone else

-heavy loves birds. his family has a lot of chickens, and hes very partial to them; he also has a parakeet, who his sisters take care of while he's with the mercs. RED heavy is the one that finds the red army robin; he sees an injured little bird in the snow and he brings it to medic

-jane “soldier” doe cannot take care of cats or dogs or other normal pets for the life of her but if you hand her an injured wild porcupine and say "hey, how do i take care of this" she'll know exactly what to do; sometimes both soldiers will just come out onto the battlefield bottlefeeding a squirrel or something, and somehow artfully dodge enemy fire while shooting rockets AND feeding a baby animal. how's that for multitasking

-scout's ma, peg, has a cockatiel that she gets after all her children have left the nest, so to speak. scout teaches it to whistle happy birthday and demonstrates that on peg's birthday and its sweet

-heavy has a very specific [canonical, at least w/ "pokernight at the inventory"] childhood memory of watching a boy kill a sparrow, w/ the implication that the memory haunts him a little bit; seeing the injured robin brought that memory to the surface, and it freaked him out more than he'd like to admit. he was kind of panicking when he asked for medic's help, but trying desperately not to show it

-spy hates dogs. he hates horses. he hates insects. he tolerates cats. but most damning of all, he hates birds. thats a big problem with at least half of the base loving or at least liking birds, and with all the pigeons/doves everywhere

-it takes YEARS before spy stops insulting or scolding medic's pigeons every time he gets the chance, and the main reason he stops is because medic absolutely was NOT having it... still though, spy has his limits. he never hurt any of medic's birds, or anyone else's pets, because he may be a mercenary but he does have some standards. mostly

-this is notable, because, hahahhhhhhh. im gonna eventually make a much longer post about this, but medic has a fair amount of Trauma[tm] from dealing with classic heavy's abusive bullshit; the thing is though, cheavy realized quickly that medic could handle being yelled at or physically punished for his mistakes or his worse quirks... but he had a very vulnerable flock of pigeons with him, that he regarded as family and who meant the world to him

-the scene in the comics where cheavy grabs archimedes tight and throws him to the ground was not an isolated incident, is what im saying. though it /was/ one of the more violent ones, since after a few threats and a few times of cheavy proving he absolutely would follow through on his threats, medic got the hint

-through his time working w/ the classics, medic becomes more secluded and on edge, and more prone to breakdowns and fits; and even more protective of his flock, urging them multiple times to fly away and leave him, to find heavy or scout or SOMEONE and stay with them, that he would come back for them when he could[but they always refused to leave him]... the baboon infant incident was a long time coming and he only held off on detonating it as long as he did through sheer willpower and a healthy fear of retribution

-ANYWAY. projecting aside.

-scout /would/ get a cat from the kitten orphanage but shes worried it would try to kill or eat some of medic's doves, since they basically free roam the base; so instead she goes by with demo sometimes to play with the cats and its Good

-ms pauling is a big dog person, and i mean that both in the "she really loves dogs" way and in the "she loves dogs that are Massive" way; she grew up with newfoundlands and bully breeds and shes still got a big soft spot for them; she has two shelter dogs, one's an 11 y/o pit+rottie, the other is a 7 y/o mutt that has some st bernard in it and who's blind in one eye; she spoils them rotten

-engie is really into fishkeeping and after all this merc business is over, he wants to have big fucking tanks installed in his home; hes also surprisingly passionate about the proper treatment of fish, like, he nearly decked spy once for saying betta fish just needed a fishbowl and not a whole aquarium setup

-medic has stolen at least a couple fancy pigeons from pigeon shows, mostly the ones that have been bred to an unhealthy degree to fit show standards, he spends a lot of time trying to give them the best care he can and maybe undo the effects of years of awful breeding 

-i literally dont care about sniper so he gets no headcanons

im tired

[ranty9000]

A chronicle of me watching the film "white chicks"

okay so It started with two black fbi agents disguised as racist Mexican stereotypes. They failed a bust regarding ice cream bent code for cocaine and busting actual Ice cream guys

Why do comedies with little to no white characters think they can be even more racist than the white people they accuse of doing so

It’s like “the nutshack” all over again.

Here’s the “chief getting mad at the cop hero’s incompetence” trope. He’s Gonna put them on assignment in Iraq cuz their fuck up. Another duo consisting of a white dude and an ambiguously light Brown guy make fun of them with bad ice cream incompetence.

The girlfriend the one of them (I don’t know which one because I barely know either of them or even their names and so far their both bland as unflavored oatmeal) is upset because he was two minutes late to getting home and thinks she’s cheating on him.

“What could I possibly do anything so fast in those two minutes?”

She gives him a stare implying that’s how fast he is in bed with her, and no sound of laughter passes my lips.

This overbearing girlfriend and beaten down boyfriend cliche isn’t done to death At all. Oh and this ones name is Marcus

More ice cream jokes from the antagonist duo, our “heroes” make a “joke” about holding each others balls when they pee (what? That’s not what you hold when you go pee) and which one wipes (wouldn’t it be the other guy while one is on the John? This joke is bad in premise and execution)

The antagonist duo is working on the “Socialite kidnapping” case where someone has threatened to kidnap the daughters of the head of a local college. The “hero’s” are volunteered to pick them to set up a trap

Why is this a comedy again?

Oh Marcus called other one who’s name they haven’t said yet “blackie-chan” (WHAT-)

Oh Marcus is lactose intolerant, that totally isn’t a checkovs gun

So the girls arrive and despite being in their early 20s they greet the agents by saying “we already gave to the United negro fund”. I’ve never heard a rich young white chick call a black man a “negro” in the 21st century. I get they’re trying to make them shallow and shit but that’s unrealistic- oh now they gave the dudes the bags after they said they were going to the girls to the car.

Girls like this aren’t THIS kind of racist!

They can’t be from silicone valley and have the values of a stereotypical Texan yokel! They don’t fit!

Oh good… they have a Pomeranian…..

I’m only 15 minutes in? Oh good Lord. I’ll keep to highlights now.

The dog is out the window now oh no

Oh no they didn’t die from being hit by a truck

They just narrowly survived a horrible accident let’s make it humerous

She’s going to a self proclaimed bitch fit

They keep the girls in a room by saying they wouldn’t want anyone to see their “scars” (a light scratch on ones nose and the others lip), but they cant get them to the area where the trap is

Marcus says he is going to hang himself before the chief gets to him, sadly he doesn’t follow through.

The one that isn’t Marcus is lying to the chief over the phone coz one more screw up and it’s off to Iraq. The one that isn’t Marcus grabs marcus’ balls to stop him from admitting the truth

No laughs here

Okay so the disguise team (i think? They don’t say is gonna make them look like the girls now

I’m glad it’s more than sticking paint on their face and melons in their shirt but the guy freaked out when he felt the fake tits being put on him for some reason

“He’s right, make em bigger” says the head guy as i slowly die inside.

Oh Wait no it IS painting them white okay

The make up is somewhat decent, but here is where the “real humor” starts. So put on your hazmat suits.

The antagonist duo has to watch over the “girls” disguised as hotel staff and they take advantage of this by “mistaking” the ambiguously light brown guy for Mexican. Are they just racist to mexicans?

Haha their boobs are so big and knocking over things ha ha ha

They use plastic surgery to excuse their masculine facial features as well as make excuses for fake crabiness, actually decent writing here.

This is fleeting as guys are already planning to tap dat ass

Is that the chick who played lindsay in arrested development?

Are we doing a “your mother” competition right now. This film is sucking the humor out of me.

Another groin shot and mexican bashing.

Oh no one is getting attracted to the black publicist.

Oh good toilet humor and fart humor thanks chekovs gun

Lactose intolerance doesn’t work like that my family has two that are

Terry crews why are you here no….

“That’s what I’m talking about, a skinny white girl with a black ass”

Terry please no

Terry please god no

TERRY PLEASE NO

Did they do a “king king/ gorilla” joke to Terry and think since it’s really a black dude it’s okay.

Oh no

“Making my way downtown, walking past, and I’m home bound BENNA BA BENNA BA BENNA”

OBLIGATORY N-WORD AND RAP JOKE I REPEAT IT’S A CODE 19 EVERYONE GET DOWN.

Oh good dressing up tiiime and sex jokes greeeeaaat.

What is happening right now

I have no words, i think the Movie is having a stroke?

Oh no wait i think it’s me?

The antagonist duo is talking about what which older celebrity they’d bang as they keep an eye before they come back

And now not marcus Is trying to get her purse back coz it has the badge and gun, she ran fast and got it cuz I guess chicks like that can’t run fast???

There’s a subplot involving the guys that wanna tap that a girl looking like a she’s on cocaine coz Nose powder that’s all you need to know.

I wanna die

They’re doin the auction girl for charity thing and TERRY IS BACK OH GOD WHY

Oh wait it’s marcus wife and not girlfriend? Wtf

Oh good a sleepover

The black guy as a white girl is giving one girl corn rows OH NOOOO TUMBLR ALEERRRT

Oh good sex humour with dildos

I’m dead inside, like there’s nothing left… and there’s still another HOUR?! Children I’m not gonna make it…..

Oh good back to the dudes and banging celebs that have yeast infections- OH GOOD THE KIDNAPPING FROM BALD LACKIES oh they’re just strippers acting like kidnappers

“It’s part of their act”

Sadly it’s statistically a common kink of women for some reason

Beach scene now

Haha he’s actually black and throws football’s hard

Terry is too oiled up I’m scared OH GOD THAT’S HIS BULGE

“Swartzinegro”, that is all

Romance subplot with the publicist or whoever she is again no one cares and nothing super horrible or unfunny

AND ANOTHER SUBPLOT WITH THE WIFE THAT’S THE NAGGY BLACK GIRL TROPE AGAIN THAT’S GREAT

TERRY CREWS BEING ROMANTIC TO MARCUS WITH SAXOPHONE

TERRY LIKES THE SONG! MAKINH MY WAY DOWNTOWN, WALKING FAST, FACES PAST AND I’M HOME BOUND BADA BA BADA BA VXAGBCSG

STOP SINGING I’M THE DAD OF THE SWAMP CASTLE NOW

Oh good he did

I’m going to cry silently while this foot fetish shit is going on

Oyster is metaphor for pussy

More bland romance with not Marcus with awkward humor that’s just awkward

Same for Terry and marcus

Oh no mean doggo. Doggo mad. Doggo bite. Doggo please kill

Terry please stop I’m eating a carrot I’m gonna vomit

Oh he’s a basketball player OF COURSE HE IS

AND MORE FART HUMOR THANK YOU FOR THAT I STILL HAD A SHRED OF SANITY LEFT

More bland romance with not Marcus.

Make it end

She called the dog “nigga” as it’s funny coz it’s a black chick

Antagonist duo being creeps and finding out they’re dudes.

Drinks named after sex.

Terry putting drugs that arent roofies in the drink and my psychotic break is now complete

She switched them and pulled a “princess bride” tho

Eye candy skank sexy dance off I’m going to die this suddenly turned into a those dance movies with the cheerleaders and is just to fill time and the smut quot

Lol all black dudes can break dance you guys and it’s totally not stunt doubles

It’s 1 am right now and terry is high and ready to rape

Girl is spilling her guts litteraly and figuratively

High dog fucker and high Terry crews, wait wasn’t that shot from “it’s always sunny” with the glow sticks

Terry and high guy fucked

Marcus wife Subplot is back oh no.

Koolaid joke hahaha kill me

Why are the wives of black couples in comedies always so mean? I feel like that’s a stereotype that no one has acknowledged and is it’s just as bad as other tropes

The antagonists thought the real sisters were the fake and they were stripped and they were punched and it’s funny and the cheif knows and fired them and marcus is rightly leaving cuz is friend is an ass but he’s apologizing so let’s do the stupid plan and the identity of the bad guys is shown but I don’t remember who they are supposed to be.

The “heroes” are bringing the antagonist duo in cuz they were fired too and the “who’d you rather fuck” thing ISN’T FUNNY

TOKEN FLAMBOYANT GAY GUY RUNNING FASHION SHOW WHO IS CONFIRMED GAY HAHAHAHAHAHA THAT WASN’T OLD EVEN BEFORE THE GAY REVOLUTION NOT AT ALL

FAUX MEANINGFUL MUSHY GIRL SHIT

THE WIFE OF MARCUS AND HER FRIEND WITH NO NAME ARE STILL HERE.

TERRY GO AWAY

SWITCHAROO HUMOR HAHA

IT’S THE SWAN DRESS BOIIIIII

PRATFALLS AHAHAHAHA

The two bad mean got red paint splattered on them and it’s seen as visionary while they are embarrassed.

Oh good china is in the mix of racial insensitivity

Oh boy theyre fighting the bad guys now and she said you hit like bitch

The wifes friend calls backup their names are keisha, nay-nay, and laquonda

Yes really

Oh the dad of the mean girls is the bad guy okay

Is terry dead

No

Terry only cared that marcus wasn’t white and he goes “negro please”. Did they use up their n-bombs?

The romance plot wraps up (“this some jerry springer shit”) and both duos get their job back cuz it’s a cop movie trope.

Why does Marcus want this chick again.

“And they all stayed friends the end”

It’s been a two hour movie and i lost all sanity but the late time is also a factor

Let this be a warning not to let history repeat itself

[patroncrow]

1-69 >:3

i had to turn on my laptop just to copy/paste this all. im putting it under a cut to spare any innocent followers

also you cheeky fuck lol

1. What’s your darkest kink?

completely being dominated. few get the chance or the honor tho

2. How many people have you had sex with?

one. we were together for a long while so i never got the chance.

i might be changing that before long

3. What the most times you’ve ever orgasmed in one night?

i honestly dont know but this did remind me of an embarrassing story lol

4. What’s your favorite sex position?

it really depends on my mood :3

5. Describe the best sex you’ve ever had.

i was drunk, in a mood all day, and accidentally gave a hickey above the collar. his boss gave him shit for it but he couldn’t get me back cause he cant give them (which is a shame)

6. Have you ever had a one night stand?

never had the chance

7. Describe your most desired fantasy.

see #1

8. Describe your darkest fantasy.

see #7

9. What’s your sexiest feature?

ive been told i have a really nice ass

10. Have you ever been to a strip club?

most the decent ones around here you have to be 21, i hear. they dont really seem like my scene tho

11. Where’s the best place to have sex?

where the mood strikes. just lock the doors

12. Where’s the craziest place you’ve had sex?

the living room. in my defense, there were at least 2 other ppl in the house, and it had a walk-in policy. there was a decent risk of someone showing up

but this did lead to an amusing conversation that went something like “what if your dad walks in?” “then ill sit up and say ‘dad im busy, get out!’”

13. Where would you like to have sex, but haven’t yet?

location isnt a big thing for me

14. If you could have sex with one celebrity, who would it be?

ive never really had celeb crushes. i identified as ace until not long ago (im open to giving chances, but im picky about who ill show interest in first)

15. What sounds do you make during sex?

oh, golly. depends how much fun im having

but its not that breathy-ass shit in porn

16. Are you loud during sex?

see #15

17. Describe the outfit you feel sexiest in.

do partial ones count? i like just not having a shirt. cargo pants, skinny jeans, whatever. just without a top.

18. What’s your favorite punishment?

never been punished. ex was a puss lol

19. What’s your favorite position for spanking?

never really had positions for it. i like being grabbed more

20. Do you like to have/leave marks?

yes

21. What’s your favorite thing to clamp nipples with?

never done that

22. How long have you denied/or been denied an orgasm?

0 seconds

23. Have you ever had sex in a “dungeon”?

nope

24. Are you into bondage?

mmmyeah

25. What is your favorite thing to do for aftercare?

never really been in the scene enough to know much about that

26. What’s your favorite thing to tie up or be tied up with?

ive only used cuffs & ties. i liked the latter better

27. Are you a Dom or a Sub? Would you ever consider being a switch?

im a sub but if im in a really big mood i can switch

its a strong expression of desire not to be taken for granted

28. Do you prefer gags or blindfolds?

never used either but blindfolds might be cool

29. Have you ever had a threesome?

no despite a long ass time with someone who wanted nothing more and wouldnt shut up until i put my foot down that i wasnt comfortable with that unless i had gotten close to the other person one-on-one first

30. How often do you masturbate?

maybe like once a month?? but tat was when sex was readily available. id much prefer the real thing

31. What’s your favorite thing to masturbate to?

just whatever does it that time

32. What’s your favorite kind of porn?

i dont rlly watch enough to have a fave

33. What’s your favorite porn website?

dont have one

34. Who’s your favorite porn star?

same as above

35. Would you ever consider doing porn?

it really depends on specific context

36. At what age did you start masturbating?

lmao 18

37. Have you ever been caught masturbating?

nope 

38. Have you ever masturbated to a ridiculous video or story then thought “what the fuck did I just do?“

…

39. Phone sex or Camming?

never done either but im not big on taking care of myself for someone else

40. Do you believe in aphrodisiacs?

i havent read enough on them. ig if theres food that can help you be less depressed, there could be food that helps ur libido

41. What’s you biggest turn on?

biting around/on my hips/waist

42. What’s your strangest turn on?

probably the same thing, considering im not into oral and otherwise having a head down there bothers me

43. What’s your favorite sex toy?

i have none

44. Do you prefer your sexual partner to be older than you, or younger?

idc if theyre a little older/younger, as long as theyre close to my age

45. Have you ever broken up with someone because the sex was bad?

no but id totally tell an ex that to piss em off cause im a petty fuck

46. Have you ever posted nudes on tumblr?

nope. ive thought about doing the topless tuesday but ehh

47. What’s your favorite sex blog? (I’m sure it’s his-precious-kitten…but on the odd chance that it’s not…)

not really into those things

48. What’s your favorite pet name?

not necessarily a sex thing, but anything that feels strong like “darling,” “my love”

49. Do you prefer vaginal sex or anal?

never tried full-on anal but what i did try hurt too much to feel good

50. Do you prefer pussies all natural, bald, triangle, landing strip…?

whatever shes into and feels confident with mayn

51. What song would you most like to have sex to?

i like those with the feeling i get (not traditional ones) but this reminded me one time we were getting busy, youtube playlist going, next song came on and it was bring me to life and when i looked up, it wasnt like a lyric video or the official one but fucking luigi and i almost died then and there

52. Have you ever had shower sex?

yes. it was difficult  but fun

53. At what time of day are you the horniest?

i dont have a time of day but i accidentally went off my birth control for a bit and in the proceeding week i could barely function. ive been telling myself that was the reason.

54. Girls: What is your bra size?

34b, perfect hand size. sometimes they just make good rests to just hold

55. Girls: Describe your favorite pair of panties.

theyre a teal with a darker blue lace. the back kinda has a sheer part that reminds me of stain glass windows??

56. Girls: Do you ever go out not wearing panties?

nah not into that thing. you could tell me something is meant to be worn without and id be like “nah fuck that”

57. Girls: Can you get off from clit stimulation alone?

ig?? but whats the fun in that??

58. Girls: Can you get off from penetration alone?

who would do that

59. Girls: Do you use birth control or condoms?

i prefer both because i would not be able to handle nine months sober followed by hours of excruciating pain. or getting stds.

60. Girls: What’s the strangest thing that’s ever been inside your pussy?

just a marker. im not lookin to fuck myself up

but my ex is a major whovian with several sonic screwdrivers and at one point he made a joke to which i responded “if you wanted to use that on me you shouldve said something” which made everyone freak out lol

61. Girls: Do you spit or swallow?

never sucked. always had a rise of anxiety prior

62. Subs: Would you rather have a Master, a Dom, or a Daddy Dom?

idk if theres that much a difference between the first two but if i so much as hear an utterance of “daddy” i instantly become dry as the sahara

63. Littles: Describe your favorite stuffie.

n/a

64. Boys: What is your penis size?

n/a

65. Boys: Are you circumcised?

n/a

66. Boys: Do you prefer having sex without a condom?

n/a

67. Boys: Do you prefer oral or vaginal sex?

n/a

68. Doms: Do you believe in aftercare?

n/a

69. Doms: Would you rather own a slave, a sub, or a little?

n/a

lord this took forever i hope ur happy lol

[springfieldblues]

I love Kearney, and the rest of the bullies so I have a theory on what happened to their ages throughout the show because with Kearney’s character being all over the place, I needed some answers. Also, I apologize if this is like, super long! I have a lot of thoughts about this lol

So, in the beginning, even Nelson was said to be the oldest boy in Bart’s class. I’m thinking they were imagining him to be 12/13/14 in the beginning. I say this because, even now that we’ve seen Nelson have a 10th birthday which makes him younger than Bart, Nelson is still bigger than most of the other students his age, and is almost as tall as Dolph who if you looked it up, is supposedly about 14/15, which I don’t really think has changed all that much as we don’t see him really do anything that would make me believe otherwise like driving or having kids.

And speaking of Dolph, in the beginning Kearney was much shorter and wasn’t that much taller than Dolph. So, by looking at how similar heights are on most characters in certain age groups, this is important. (Bart is basically the same heigh as the rest of the 10 year olds and Lisa is about the same height as all her 8 year old friends) I think in the beginning, Kearney was at most 15 like Dolph. I not only say this because of his height but because Jimbo is in charge even though Kearney and Dolph seem to enjoy bullying just as much as he does. Now, what makes Jimbo qualified to lead them? Seniority at this point.

I’m going to stick with the idea that Jimbo is 16/17 and always has been simply because he tries to sleep with Laura, gropes Shauna goodbye, and canonically has a son with Darcy and making him any younger would be uncomfortable. Also, I’m assuming that Shauna is within that age range (possibly being 18 though, I’m undecided) as well because she has multiple jobs and has been seen making out or flirting with Squeaky Voiced Teen on a few occasions. That being said, Jimbo is taller than her, but not by much, which means that he’s around the same age. So, in the beginning he was the oldest.

Now that we’re much further along, I think they got tired of the same old well, he’s a bully because he’s dumb and failed, so they wanted a more comedic effect from the bullies. Obviously Dolph isn’t old enough to have been married and divorced, so let’s pick the heavier, bald, bully to play that part. Thus, Kearney is now taller, can drive, shaves during school assemblies, has two kids, and has been divorced in canon. Sure, Jimbo’s still in charge, but Kearney doesn’t care because he’s got his own adult things to worry about. It’s like Nelson, his age had to be adjusted to fit the new narrative he was being put into and I think that he’s a much better character because of it.

oh man..........i dont think youre supposed to read that much into kearney's age and the gags around it hjhjdksf its impossible to make sense of and thats kind of the joke

i really doubt they ever meant to make nelson anything older than 12, but like you said, hes shown to have a 10th birthday on the show and thats the only confirmation of his age theres ever been. however this doesnt mean he was 9 before, or that bart is older than him even if theyre both 10 now. in the simpsons when a character is 10 and they have a birthday, they turn 10 again. lisa has had like three 8th birthdays in the show by now (and the only time they showed her turning 9 was in a non-canon THOH). thats just simpsons continuity for ya

i dont personally think heights are that important because theyve been very inconsistent with that sort of thing. characters arent always on model...the bullies in particular almost never are. sometimes kearney is shorter, sometimes hes taller, sometimes nelson towers over bart and sometimes hes only a bit taller than him. plus kids at this age have a varied range of heights because everyone grows differently. i can easily buy the idea of nelson and bart both being 10 because when i was 10 i was the biggest kid in my class so theres that

its been implied that jimbo, dolph and shauna are 13, like dolph and shauna having bar/bat mitzvahs and i think jimbo specifically says he and the bullies are 13 in one episode? but i cant remember which episode. i just know i saw it and i thought 'oh wow i thought they were a bit older' because they do act a bit older sometimes.

outside of that, i could see jimbo being 16 at most, but hes probably younger than that. if he was really 16 we wouldve seen him driving or something. idk he'd just act differently, more like squeaky voiced teen whos a more stereotypical 16yo. jimbos gotta be younger than that, hes still in springfield elementary but then again so is kearney (who, again, youre not supposed to take seriously anyway)

also he DOES NOT have a son with darcy omg...when hes seen with a baby in his arms behind darcy that was supposed to be darcys baby from the episode where she got pregnant, not jimbo's. jimbo may act like a typical horny teenager sometimes but hes so stupid and immature about it that its clear that hes still a kid who doesnt know how to control those uh. urges. so i really do think hes around 13-15

and shauna is definitely not 18. like i said before, she has her bat mitzvah in one episode and still looks like a kid despite her attitude and the stuff she does. same thing as jimbo basically.

anyway thats my take on the bullies' ages. again, youre not supposed to read too much into them, especially kearney's. they change it depending on the writer and whatever they might need for the plot because theyre the only teenage characters they have lmao

[sscottstewart]

7.37am 26 July 2017: “You’re drugs have fucked up your attention to detail” This is a typical statement made by my AVH’s. This may well be true, or may not be, but what I get out of it is that this is just more criticism. 02nd August 2017 2039: ?FM: is anyone getting hurt s: no, not as far as I know FM?: why is this happening s: because for once, and probably the first time, I would not do as you demand PW: you think we don’t exist don’t you s: yes, I think you don’t exist PW: You will find out that we do S: well won’t that

  At approximately 3am on the 13th Sept 2016, Pam was being raped and assaulted, so I drove there at approx 100km per hour in each street and sat out front of her house. Immediately as I turned the engine off, 3 cars arrived.

One pulled into a driveway 35m down the street the house number was 121 or 123 pam’s street (for some reason my note said TA 121/123). I know this because it sat in the driveway for a while, and after I sat for about an hour or an hour and a half, I drove down to get its rego, and it had gone in/up the driveway behind fence gates and parked, so I couldn’t get the rego. I think it was a morone red Corolla hatch.

The car that arrived immediately as I turned my engine off was a white Hyundia hatch/wagon BX66PD. The third car went 120m dfown the street and I couldn’t see it properly

17th August 2018 0057 hours Entered the Muriel St car park of Hornsby Westfield, and there were two vehicles parked in the southern bays opposite Extreme clean. One was a large SUV type white station wagon CHR047, possibly Nissan or Toyota, the other I didn’t see properly, other than it being a two door sporty looking car, white also I think (but am unsure). My suspicion was aroused because they both left the parking bays and exited onto Muriel street as I was collecting my ticket from the machine to enter the car park (going to Hobbysew to collect cigarette buts). The larger white SUV looked similar to a car that boxed me in last Sunday 12th when I was visiting the adult shop to return 2 DVD’s as I stated I was going to (to try and get a result). The driver looked similar as well. Tall in thwe seat, very short balding hair, clean chaven, around 47 – 50 years old.

I have no problem with this if this is the bikies, and caused no problem the previous Sunday. But if I am supposed to behave in a requisite manner, thenI would wish that they don’t leave butt flag me down and say what I am supposed to comply with, or whatever purpose they have in being ahead of me and knowing where and when I will arrive at any particular location.

      from:

Scott Stewart <sscottstewart@gmail.com> to: hillsdistrict@bandidosmc.com.au, Alexandra Tintner <atintner@ombo.nsw.gov.au>, nswombo@ombo.nsw.gov.au, communications@justice.nsw.gov.au date: 19 Jun 2019, 01:46 subject: Times Up – Future Violence In Normanhurst mailed-by: gmail.com

Righty right Boys.

It’s me again – Scott James Stewart – serial number 008, maturbator and schizophrenic.

I’m fucking sick of hearing about you in my mind (through you associate I am led to believe)

IF YOU DON’T SHOW UP AND FUCKING FIGHT,   i’M GOING TO DESTROY YOUR REPUTATION, AND HOPEFULLY SOME OF YOUR FRIENDS.

Unit 5

29 Denman Parade,

Normanhurst, nsw, 2076

Or you can just reply to this email, or better still, if you have any balls at all, call me on

(02) 9989 8752. But you fucking wont, on the basis of some junkie like excuse.

If you attempt to get me sectioned, I will call the cops, and a few others, and exploit a weakness I have discovered in your organisation. Please check the addresses at the header of this email.

  https://freemason-absolute-leader-declared.webnode.com/ 

http://be-careful-what-you-wish-for.strikingly.com 

Gutless Ghost loving Freemason Cuntrs.

250719 0842

All fm?  On the train going to tafe founfation skills workshop after peoole going on down the rear units and david recording me from outside my door

Scott did u log out No Well what r u goong to do about yr venterlinm paymemts Theres notng i can do Ur wrong I disagree How long will it take to prpve yr right I already jave que a bit of wvidemve to prove im right What do u think of farah I think so highly of her, that i believe yr earlier claims. Out of this world nice What should i do abouf julia Mot what u said u r doing to me. Ask the bandidos. U just lost. M  u did S: well at least ots not for the earleir behaiour error  made Actually  it is Well whata that got to do h farah? J:   Im not daying anymore S: ok . Bet u do Fm: what is going on scott is that garah will mot talk to u anymore S shame Fm: what dou think of that S there can only b 2 reasona for that M: theyr right S > i couldnt hear them? Fm: did u take drugs this morning S unfortunately  yes, i did GMA : wjat do u think about drugs S they destroy lives Fm: female scotty stewart. What did mark kelly think S  i have no idea. (They do!!) Fm: what do u think farah thinks I wouldnt have a clue (they do!!!) Scott – why wont anybody tell i the truth Becaise they camt know id whateber its is the truth. They camt know if its a lie…. wwhatever u r refering to 0906 M: what will happen to farah S   she wiil get eaten M  she already has —– ? Class cleague: do u like me? S i like everyone ? Cc   u wont

ReplyForward

hillsdistrict@bandidosmc.com.au bcc:melbourne@bandidosmc.com.au, sydney@bandidosmc.com.au, brisbane@bandidosmc.com.au date:3 January 2018 at 21:38

A Humble Request From A Challenged Person

mailed-by:gmail.com

Good evening,

Sorry to bother you. My name is Scott James Stewart, and I you will recall my apologies for contacting previously. As you will recall from some of those emails, I am schizophrenic, and astoundingly, your club has become involved the maintenance of my continued good health .

I have developed a very effective psychosocial treatment of my phenomenological symptoms, that provides me with great relief. It involves quotations (what I call 1st person transcripts), of the Auditory Verbal Hallucinations (AVH’s) I experience irregulalrly, that are a common feature of the condition.

It really is the most amazing thing. All I have to do in order to maintain my good health is when the voices start talking (as they do occasionally) is undertake to write down the time and date, and as much of the exact first person quotations of what I hear as is comfortable, and things improve.

Inexplicably to me, they consistently include your clubs name, and allege to be some of your members who are also Freemasons.

I thought that since I publish this material, it would be ethical, to inform you of the work so that you may respond to the statements and request omissions if you choose.

https://evidenceortruth.wordpress.com/

amazingschizophreniavoices10.wordpress.com

(I am in the process of organising investigative health research in collaboration with Sydney University (Francesca Coniglio) and The Palmerston Clinic (Hornsby Hospital – BGr Dinah Bennet), and will soon be expanding the knowledge of this efficacious treatment approach to other individuals who are subject to AVH’s).

Regards,

Scott”

********************************************************************************************************************************

5) I discovered the hacking of one of the blogs within two hours and so deactivated both before they would have read them, so they also received inactive links as you did.

6) I wrote an brief introduction of my full name name and an ezpression of respect on the Rebels MC 1% Motorcylist Facebook page: (https://www.facebook.com/onepercenterbikers/)

******************************************************************************

(13:56)

My name is Scott James Stewart. I spent at least 13 minutes trying to find a less public way of introducing myself, and I apologise, but this was my result. I am a respectful, and honest individual, who may or may not come to your attention, perhaps again, nd congruent with my integrity efforts, I wanted to introduce myself to your esteemed club (despite the fact that the Police I talk to recommend that I should not do so). Having said this, I offer my introduction to you with special recognition of your affinity with those men whose PTSD you effectively treat through your strong and reliable friendship. Great men in my opinion. Should we ever meet or talk by chance or fate one day, I would be pleased to be able to immediately state, that I introduced myself to you on the 17 January 2018 on a Facebook page (though in gossipy world, others might say 16 January 2018 at approximately 7.30pm. No matter. My respect never changes).

**********************************************************************************************************

6) I have over the past year quite a few hacks on several duplicate blogs publishing the same Auditory Hallucinations statements. I did not even expect anyone would read them. I am compiling some substantiated evidence to facilitate an authoreatitive investigation that can indisputably attribute causality. I should disclose that I have unreliable suspicions of individuals, so maybe that might correlate with anything you discover if you have time to look into any of this. I am not requesting that you do. I am not scared, despite the reputation of the organisations involved. So thank you.

7) I plan to repeat this process of publishing two comparable blogs in the future, but the date of which I am ‘playing by ear’.

8) I need to also add (surprisingly) that my original crime stoppers report was to attempt to get your available resources if possible directed towards the mysterious and carefully checked disappearance of another individual who is featured in the blogs more than anyone. His name is Ron (Ronald) Thiessen, and he deserves the right to oversee the published material,  but he is definately missing, he is famous and I have contacted his famous friends, and volunteer clubs etc, and the material in the blog leads me to  serious concern for his safety because what is in the blog  is damming and defamatory in my opinion. I have talked to your counter staff about him being missing, and read your website, but I cannot meet your seven pieces of documentation necessary to establish a formal missing person report. I can provide you with a document detailing the steps I have taken to locate him, if you are able to look into this. The most important and salient fact of this matter, is his membership of Freemasonry, which coincidentally is what links the two outlaw motorcycle clubs to the blogs, in addition to the members named, and the serious allegations made by my hallucinations against them.

My home phone is 9989 8752

My mobile (which I think has also been hacked) isa currently 0403 996 187 (probably change v. soon – I’ll let you know)

My address is

Gunyah

Unit 5

29 Denman Parade

Normanhurst, 2076.

Thank Gods for the cops

The Police Know 7.37am 26 July 2017: “You’re drugs have fucked up your attention to detail” This is a typical statement made by my AVH’s.

[lexaprodream]

9/2/19

idk how much of this one i’ll be able to describe it was rlly long and rlly complex and sort of in 4 parts

part 1

almost like the plot of an anime?? it was this weird story about soulmates. there was a boy and a girl and i was looking at it from the third person. first she was crying for some reason and she was testing him by seeing if he’d hang out w his friends or come with her and see why she was crying and he ended up going with his friends. but it’s revealed later that its because he didn’t know what to do and didn’t want to hurt her more by not knowing how to help her or smth. then later theres this scene where everyones studying for a test, and the boy and girl are being rlly flirty like talking a lot and touching hands and locking fingers and one of their friends is like what are you guys a couple and theyre like nooooo. but then the girl pulls out this stack of change and she looks at the guy like i’ll double this if you dont think about me for the entire test. and he makes some joke i dont rmr. and then shes like no i’ll make it even easier i’ll double it if u don’t talk to me for the entire test and that includes whispering at me after. bc i guess theyre both smart and always finish their tests early. i can sort of hear the girls thoughts mostly and theres this underlying feeling of like. i sort of know this person likes me but what if i finally make the move to make it official and it goes wrong. i need the extra confirmation of him not even being able to go the whole time without talking to me/thinking about me. so the test happens and while theyre filing in to the test center he sees shes a couple rows behind him and is about to say hi to her but then stops himself bc the bet and she sorta smiles smugly or whatever. the rest isnt rlly super clear but smth about the lady administering the test being evil and she sets off this big explosion and its sort of light blue/a big wave almost steven universy more a energy bubble than a big fiery explosion. anyway all the students and desks and stuff are thrown up in the air and the boy and the girl find each other and i think kiss if i remember right?? and then suddenly they’re teleported back to there the first scene with her crying happened which  was this beach. and they see this scientist guy in a boat and something happens that causes his boat to rock rlly violently. he’s like this bald guy w goggles a lab coat and purple gloves, and theres a big gray machine on his boat. very cartoony. and then he says smth along the lines of YOU GUYS ARE SOULMATES. U DISRUPT THE BALANCE OF THE WORLD AND CREATE PARALELL UNIVERSES. U MUST BE CONTAINED OUTSIDE OF THIS UNIVERSE. and he makes this bubble around them and theyre transported outside of the universe and they sort of shed their human forms and join hands. the outside of the universe is very purple..sort of a bunch of bubbles connecting to the central bubble that is the universe they were ejected from.

part 2

i’m working on a school project with artesia dilara and someone else i forget..idk why but we make this dinosaurs that are supposed to be themed after scooby doo, where the velma and daphne dinosaur are in love and the freddie and shaggy dinosaurs r in love. first we decied on the canon couples but then we were like it’d be better if they were gay. we were making them out of clay and putting them on this premade backdrop but the ones i made were always too big and i had to squish them..some other stuff happened but eventually we put them in a gallery and everyone said the shaggy and freddie looked like father and son instead of lovers because i made freddie too big and they were the same species.

part 3

i think this one happened bc i read a rlly violent web comic before sleeping. so i’m this crazy mansion baroness lady. rlly tall long black hair white clothes..i think im similar to the evil lady running the test in the first part. there were people all around my property and i was shooting at them..either with a gun or with magic i cant remeber. and then this boy and donkey duo that both looked like winnie the pooh got separated and got into my mansion and i had to go inside to shoot them and i shot the donkey and left the boy cowering and then this guy interupted me.. he took me up the stairs of the mansion and told me how my vision of the decrepit rundown mansion was actually just an illusion and there were people living on the upper floors. like this group of girls..they were rlly small the size of dolls for some reason. there was smth about how steam on the walls created the illusions. so i started trying to kill all of the girls in rlly gruesome ways by like bashing them against the walls and stuff, but nothing was happening and then were all just ridiculing me. then one of them said maybe u should steam the walls haha and i was like oh good idea but then it was supposed to be revealed that this was another illusion and th eguy was messing with me. so i yelled at him and he turned off the illusion and i started killing the girls for real. like rlly violently. and someone who was like the boss of the girls (she was bigger than any of them) said smth about how they won’t back down and i started bashing her against the wall. eventually there were only about 5 girls left but i let them live and let them start an academy...and it was eventuallly like a redemption/forgiveness story but like idk how practically u can forgve someone who massacred all ur friends like that

part 4

suddenly i was on the bus heading to see my friend whos in berkeley now. she had to ride a plane and 2 buses just to see me. i rode by a live performance that included margeaux and her boyfriend and 3 people i didnt recognize and i commented to my friend that theyre a brockhampton/odd future coverband. theyre either called brockhampton collective or wolf gang collective depending on what theyre covering. the other details are kind of blurry. i just remember for some reason my friend was only at berkely to transition to a different school.

[isaacathom]

ok heres my eurovision liveblog thoughts i guess

i love slovenias look but im not a.... trap fan?? is that the genre? not a fan of that. also not a flashing light thank, thank you.

‘the need for everyone to fall in love’ the need??????? sfuck off

uhhhhhh...... oh thats cute. oh those lil videos are cute. and i appreciate them. i wish she’d say the /O/ in old because she clearly can but it just sounds like ‘ahld’ or smth.

what wa the point of the australian presenter to spoil the fact her husband showed up on stage like that wouldve been sweet if i hadnt KNOWN it.

‘electronic groups’ oh god AGAIN? oh thank god. oh this is nice.

‘really gets under your skin’ wow these presenters suck. thats very much the wrong metaphor. like that literally means the opposite of what you WANTED it to mean. shit. fuck.

these presenters honestly are just kinda ass. also ‘songwriters are saying it doesnt make sense’ ??? are they stupid. its. its not exactly abstract expressionism?????? what the fuck are they talking about. also what was hthat camera cut with a bald man just side eyed the camera like hes ready to kill. my god. what a legend. but was thatcomment.a joke? wild. oh it was a joke. ok. yea no im not feeling their humour. also why do they keep cutting out.

oh im really liking portugals. like it just feels nice. its sorta cozy.

‘thats one way to put it’??????? was that a gay joke?????? what the fuck was that. what was that?????? like, she said ‘listening to music for 73 hours straight’ and she went ‘straight? thats one way to put it’ IS IT A GAY JOKE???? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. im so confused. i dont understand. pls. why.

ooh its time for the invader, im Ready???? i think im ready. im sorta not but i sorta am. no choice, i cant pause. im liking this song though. ok cool im getting second hand anxiety about knowing an invader is coming. im not ready. i have no choice but OH BOY!!!! oh boy!!....... ok she handled that fairly well, but the fact her vocals kept going does look weird (tho its just clearly a backing vocal track to help boost it or to allow her to hold long notes, so im not fussed)

i like this song tho, i sorta wish she’d taken the reperform . ooOOOOH ‘absolute cockhead’ same. i like that they decided to cut to an interview to allow for the backstage crew and security to figure out what the Fuck just happened. like its obvious it was an unplanned interview but i think that was a good way to do it. a+

oh fuck thats ethereal. wooooahhhhhhhhhHHH. oh bitch. oh my god. i love this. oh i REALLY like this one. gave me chills. also, ‘crazy colonel sanders’ what, the flutist? yall are uncreative fuckers. he looks nothing like colonel sanders, in ANY way. like he just loosk like your reclusive grandfather. or like uhhhh montgomery montgomery from the asoue movie (i forget the actor sorry i know hes big)

oh this song hurts and it really shouldnt. ow. fuck. im meant to be doing my essay and im crying on the couch bitch Fuck. listen dude songs about close family dying hurt me so bad. HES CRYING TOO!!!!! bitch. ow. god no wonder he came 4th, that shit fucking Hurt me. oh my god. my throat hurts. god dammit germany! no!!!! bad!!!!! i came for fun. im slain.

im a fan of this albanian song too. it feels sorta like im listening to uhhhhh...... one of chelseas french musicals, actually. specifically robin du bois. i think its the instrumentation. big fan. oh my god i Love him.

why is their outfits being designed by gautier matter. wow those are square shoulders. i wish he hadnt. looks like something a Sith Lord would wear. the shoulders are better in context of the whole outfit. just..... not on a close up, i dont think. uh lovely song btw. oh the converse do not work with that outfit. why is she wearing sneaker esque shoes. what the hell was that.

he did a backflip?? in rehea- woah. hold on. black bars????? they havent been there the whole time, have they?? this looks like an aesthetic choice???? im confused. oh no did he have to dance like that. was that to fill in for the backflip they had to cut because he hurt himself. :| did they just dab. this is disgusting. i mean the song is nice but Why tho. czech hipster man, why must you hurt me. also i love how ‘whats up eurovision’ worked perfectly with the beat. v nice.

i heard viktor krum, what did he do. what does he have to do with this. why the fuck did they mention viktor krum, that actor is bulgarian and this is denmark???? i cant rewind. did i miss a joke. also ooh this is a fun viking beat.

WHAT HE FUCK DOES VIKTOR KRUM HAVE TO DO WITH IT. these commentators absolutely suck. i literally dont understand. they look NOTHING like durmstrang??? yall fuckers seen the movie?

also wow this is the much hyped australian act................. hmm. yea no we deserved 20th place. this isnt great. it also doesnt feel like shes hitting certain notes? but im tone deaf so i cant judge. this really isnt great. like ‘oh were a win chance’ yall blind from patriotism. i prefer most of the others. this isnt great. (i mean i dont wanna be that downer asshole but i Mean......... this is a competition and we got what we deserved here) oh god no that didnt work. nnn nah.

also STOP THE FUCKING FLASHING LIGHTS you fucking assholes. oh my god. im just /begging/. oh my god shut the fuck up commentators. these commentators honestly fucking suck. i hate them.

the commentators dabbed. Why. WHY. whats wrong with yall. fuck me.

also im still bewildered by the ‘straight? one way to put it’ joke like genuinely what was it. if the prior performance had been one of the gayer ones that i know are coming up, then maybe itd make sense. this is bewildering. heyyy its the ncis lady. i like her.

im waiting to finally hear israels unbutchered song ver (the ‘vote for israel’ ad presumably fucked it).

fuck i need food and i cant pause. god, is every song a favourite, yeesh. small aside - im sick of bands with a Single female. cowards. i mean this band is fairly diverse and i appreciate that! thats very nice!!! its not a specific knock. just like.... come on........... where the girls in the big bands at.

X RATED WIGGLES???????? are you all fucking mad. good lord this shit is absurd. oh this feels like a gameshow set. i like this. oh i like this. this is an aesthetic. i love the illusion stuff. im a Big fan. i dont think id call any of this x rated... m, certainly. wouldnt ban most of this from tv, you feel me. i thought that was quite fun. can you stop talking over the actual presenters please, you australian cockheads. im really hungry.

ooh i like this. edm, right??? i kinda dig it. like its hit or miss for the genre but i like this.

I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE BLACK BARS. fuckers. it was stylistic, right? i appreciate it.

oh. screamo? fantastic. just what i want! :) precisely my genre :) big fan of screaming :) OOH this opening beats though, ooooohhh fuck yea. lets hear it boys. oh, les screaming, more yelling. no im mostly okay with that. its in hungarian but thats aight. im sure the nordic countries appreciate this hard rock representation. also, flashing lights!!! stop! oh im not a fan of the backup singers there. thats a shame.

‘unique song’ thematically??? yall fucking crazy weve covered both bullying and metoo in two previous songs. ya dunce.

ok lets hear it. OH her vocals are gorgeous. also by ‘referencing jpop’ are you talking about the outfit??? im mixed on it because idk shit about ~culture~ but it is cute, i suppose. i dunno anything about jpop either.

but wow that ad really did not represent this song well. dumbass.

huh. country. weird. i mean this is nice, sure, but its not my thing.

HEYYY IRELAND!!! helloooo. this is nice. just nice and sweet. like that was just nice.

ooh cyprus. oh my fucking god STOP SAYING FAVOURITE you absolute fucking balloons. ‘how does she get the outfit on’ you can see the zip and its obviously a full body suit, ding dong. dumb man. im liking this though. big fan.

oh final song, thank god, i can almost go get FOOD!!! im hungry.

was that a russian overlay. interesting?? i also feel like some of these overlays definitely arent italian. are they singing italian tho? are the overlays just thematic w/ some subtitle esque ones? its nice though. like, the message is definitely in a good close and i love it on that level..... on a uh...... Song level? not really.

well that was neat.... im getting food. oh jeez the commentators almost spoke over each other yeesh.

why do they keep saying fucking viktor krum. im so fucking mad about that. its so fucking stupid. like thats. thats not. thats not remotely close??? you dumbass.

not an exhaustive list, but i like norway, portugal, UK, germany (brings me to fucking tears), albania, france (STOP GOING ON ABOUT GAUTIER), finland, bulgaria, moldova, sweden, israel, cyprus. theyre nice. germany fucked me up the most so i think im legally required to say i wish germany had won.

‘heres sandra bullock and jennifer lawrence’ shut the actual fuck up.

anyway im leaving. that was fun.

[samanthasroberts]

34 Men Discuss Society’s Insane Double Standards That Favor Women And Hurt Men

Found on AskReddit.

1. If women sexually harass us, its seen as amusing rather than rapey.

One night in a bar, this incredibly drunk, incredibly skanky woman started fucking grinding on me while I was just trying to sit and drink a beer. Rubbing her gross vag all over my pant leg, and generally being disgusting and inappropriate. While this was happening, I thought If the roles were reversed, security would be tossing me out the door headfirst. Instead, people just laughed.

2. If you go anywhere in public with little kids, youre seen as a predator pedo.

Im a 19 y/o male, and I babysit my 3 and 6-year-old girl cousins often. Last time I babysat them, we played tag, then we had to go to the grocery store. The 3-year-old decided that she wants to play tag, and runs away from me, so I chase her down, playfully saying, I’m gonna get ya! in a funny voice cuz it gets her to laugh. A mom passes by and grabs my 3-year-old cousin, takes the 6-year-old, and goes to a manager. My aunt had to come down and tell them that I was watching them. That was the worse it’s been, but if I go anywhere in public with little kids, especially girls, I’m seen as a predator pedo.

3. If you and a girl both get drunk and have sex, only one can be accused of rape.

There was the anti-rape poster I saw a while back, where two teens get drunk and hook up. The dude gets busted for rape since she couldn’t give consent. The poster mentions nothing about it being the other way around, as in the girl getting busted for rape since he couldn’t give consent. The poster completely disregards the dude as a possible victim. It even goes as far as shaming the dude saying he ruined his life. Made me sick. All it did was promote male victims to want to hide even more.

4. Men are always the dumb ones on TV.

That men are always the dumb ones on TV. I grew up with three sisters and my mom, and I’ve always been disregarded as the stupid, out-of-touch male. Then, when I end up being right most of the time, I make a big deal about it and make everything worse, AND ITS THE TVS FAULT.

5. Women dont get blamed for dumping a man; when a man dumps a woman, hes afraid of commitment.

When a woman leaves a relationship she is praised for pursuing her needs, but when man leaves a relationship he is criticized for not being able to commit.

6. Female bisexuality is accepted. Male bisexuals? Theyre just gay.

How female bisexuality is more accepted and acknowledgedsometimes even encouragedthan male bisexuality.

7. Male genital mutilationtotally legal in every country.

Female genital mutilation: Totally illegal in most countries. Male genital mutilation: Totally legal in country.

8. If a woman gets angry at a man, its his fault.

Man gets angry at a woman, he needs to control himself. Woman gets angry at a man, man needs to learn not to make her angry.

9. Our society doesnt believe that women can sexually abuse boys.

It’s probably way too late for this to get any attention but I am a male victim of sexual abuse.

I was first sexually abused when I was four years old. It was swept under the rug because the 25-year-old that did it to me was going through some things and didn’t know any better.

Fast-forward to when I’m 9 and I was sexually abused every Friday for over a year and a half. I was told by my abuser that if I let anyone know, it would be my fault and I would get in trouble. One day I finally told, just wanting it to end even if I got in trouble. What happened? Both me (9) and my female abuser (23) were given a stern talking to. That was it. She went on to live her life. I never saw her again.

Every Friday I was locked in a room and bound. I would be left in the dark while I would have her perform oral (attempted since I was 9 and unable of getting an erection). She would pump me full of fluids and when I had to go to the bathroom she’d have me pee on her. At times she would pee into a cup and try to force me to drink it. If I was being more cooperative than usual she would untie my hands and have me touch her. At the end of every, I dunno what to call itsession?she would tell me that if I told anyone I would be taken from my parents. Even if they didn’t take me from my parents her dad who was a bad man would kill my mom and my sisters.

That is until I was 15 and made a Facebook. She found me on there and would leave comments like look who grew up sexy and stuff like that. I reached out to the adults in my life and they told me to ignore it, which I did. But they told me I was a guy and I could handle it. It’s not something that keeps me awake at night. But in order to get over it I had to harden myself because I’m a guy and guys can’t get raped.

On a previous reddit account I went to open up on a victims of sexual abuse page. I wrote out a multi-page post just getting it out there. The only replies I got were about how I was a guy and I didn’t know what it was like to be violated as a woman. I was harassed for weeks by women on there for trying to compare my experience to theirs.

10. Women can beat us up all they want, but if we hit back, were monsters.

I’m a big guy, I shave my head and grow a beard, most people think I’m intimidating.

Truly I’m timid at heart, I know how to box but have always found a way around confrontation.

I had a girlfriend that got crazy violent when she was mad, knives, tazers, guns, frequently got involved. I hit her a lot in self defense (we were together for 3 years it definitely played into my low self esteem, i loved to hate it) and it completely ruined my psyche. I think of myself as a woman beater, as a misogynist now just knowing that I’m capable of it.

Just the idea that I can hit a woman has driven me to some of my darkest depths and even now typing it I dont feel justified in my actions despite the fact I was protecting my own life.

One night she came at me with a tazer from behind she started it early and I had enough time to move, she tripped and stunned herself, screaming in pain, bruised her forehead hitting it against the floor. Neighbors heard and called the cops and she gave a false statement. Of course looking the way I do it didn’t matter what I said, I spent a night in holding before she dropped the charges and got me out. I guess I’m just thankful she “loved” me enough not to let me get charged with that shit.

It’s made me scared about new relationships because I’m afraid someone can just tell a cop whatever they want and I’ll get fucked.

Shit this will probably get buried but it was nice to say it. edit: this post blew up r.i.p. my inbox. appreciate all the support and kind words. pm me if you want to talk peeps.

11. Stay-at-home dads are lazy losers; stay-at-home moms are empowered heroes.

I’m a stay-at-home father because I’m taking care of my wife and I’s 2 year old son. My wife’s got a career that’s promising advancement and she works sometimes 12 hour days. I often get the Why doesn’t he have a job and He’s a deadbeat dad routine but if I was a woman I’m sure I’d hear about how mothers work so hard as housewives.

TLDR; Man stays home raises child = Lazy, Woman stays home raises child = Hardworking Hero.

12. If youre a male nurse, people think its because you couldnt become a doctor.

When a man is a nurse people think and many times say in their face Couldn’t become a doctor, huh?

13. If a girl sexually assaults you, youre supposed to enjoy it.

I was sexually assaulted by a girl when I was plastered once and kept saying no I don’t want this. Woke up feeling violated and insanely uncomfortable yet when I told people they all told me to suck it up and I should’ve enjoyed getting some action.

14. There are huge gender disparities in criminal sentencing.

That women who have sex with underage boys aren’t given the same sentences as men who do the same with underage girls.

15. If men show feelings, theyre seen as pussies.

I don’t like how if guys show feelings and emotions they’re some kind of pussy and if a chick does it’s normal. We are all humans and we all have the same emotions that aren’t good to bottle up.

16. Guys are still expected to be the breadwinner.

I don’t like that there’s still this idea that guys have to be the breadwinners and provide for families. Some guys are cool with being househusbands, and women are just as capable of bringing home the money.

17. If a man who murdered a woman spoke at a Mens March, itd be national news.

There was a speaker at the women’s march on Washington named Donna Hylton. She got up on stage and talked about how she had spent 25 years in prison (not mentioning why of course), and the audience cheered.

Turns out, she spent 25 years in prison because in 1985, she and a handful of other people kidnapped a 60-year-old man, tried to ransom him for $435,000, tortured him for three weeks (Hylton personally sodomized him with a metal rod), strangled him, and stuffed his body into a chest to decompose.

I can’t help but wonder how a man with an equivalent record would be received at the same event.

18. Women are allowed to reject guys based on their looks without being seen as shallow.

When I turn down chubby women I’m shallow, but I get turned down for being bald and it just her preference.

19. If a man cheats, hes an asshole; if a woman does, its the mans fault.

I hate the TV portrayal that if a man cheats its cause hes an asshole and heartless but if a women does its scandalous and its cause her husband must either treat her bad or is just never around.

20. Despite what Hillary Clinton said, men are the primary victims of war.

That men for some reason have to be soldiers in some countries while woman only .

21. Divorce laws are lopsidedly in favor of women.

Divorce law.

Women are entitled to alimony at a MUCH higher percentage, even when she’s the primary bread winner.

The idea that a divorced woman has the right to a standard of living consistent to when you were married is gross. No one is entitled to a standard of living, that’s life. That we can be divorced and I can lose my job but still have to pay to keep you living how we were when we were married and I was employed…its insane.

22. Sex toys for girlsnormal. Sex toys for guysweird loser.

When a girl buys a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, he’s called a pervert?

23. A guy who plays video games for hours has a problem; a woman who watches Netflix all night doesnt.

When I play 3 hours of video games I have a problem. When my wife watches 5 hours of Netflix every night its not a problem. Edit: I agree this is not a gender thing. Sorry about answering the question wrong. There is a double standard with gaming/television watching though.

24. Men are expected to just sit back and let women hit them. If they complain, theyre a pussy; if they hit back, theyre a monster.

Domestic Violence. I just got out of an abusive relationship two weeks ago and I’m shocked at how hard it was for me to talk about it and get taken seriously with my peers. She was so mean and I’m the exact opposite these days. Only today have I felt validated for everything when I happened upon a counselor on another thread. I feel terrible about myself still and apparently that’s normal. I’m 6’4″ and a professional bouncer/bodyguard but let me tell you. Men can be abused just as easily as women. It was so bad I’m spending my lunch break here and trying to find a support group. The abuse was mental and very physical. Because I’m a large man though no one would take me seriously. It was always my fault, always me to blame. The preconceived general thought is that men are tough and can handle it. If not then I’m made to feel emasculated and told I’m a pussy. The truth is I just don’t believe in harming people I care about. I’m ranting now because I still can’t really talk about it to anyone. It’s a sad and shitty double standard. No one should have to deal with abuse.

25. Part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

That part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

We hear talk all the time about the gender earnings gap, women’s right to bodily autonomy (via abortions and access to birth control), and other women’s issues, and those are all important things to discuss.

What we don’t hear as often is the fact that 84% of the homeless are men, 92% of workplace fatalities happen to men, 91% of people in prison are men, etc.

We talk about the subtle forms of discrimination in society that result in women choosing to pursue careers which don’t compensate them financially the same way that careers popular with men dobut we never talk about the subtle forms of discrimination that cause men to at a rate nearly an order of magnitude higher than women.

26. When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke.

When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke. When a woman falsely reports a rape, it ruins the man’s life, she gets off scot-free or a tiny jail term.

27. Men who take selfies are much more likely to be accused of narcissism.

I have to say that the standard of what is acceptable on social media. If a female Instagram profile is full of 400 attractive selfies, people are not as critical of the narcissistic side of the pictures as much as they would if it were a guy. Not that I would want to post 400 selfies, but constantly posting pictures of yourself in specific poses isn’t a form of modeling or self-love as much as it is an expression of narcissism.

28. Theres no demand for plus size male models.

How we apparently need plus sized models to represent all women’s body types, but the thought of having male models with beer bellies and no rippling muscles/6 packs is disgusting.

29. Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men.

Women who can’t pay child support go to special homes. Men who can’t pay child support go to prison.

Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men, such as murder, rape, theft, or simple misdemeanors. Sometimes they aren’t punished at all

If a drunk male and a drunk female have sex, the female could charge for rape since she could not consent even though both parties voluntarily intoxicated themselves. This isn’t a common problem but it happens more than it needs to

Female requirements for the military, police, and fire responders are easier. During basic training in the army I saw a dude carrying 2 rucksacks (google it) and a girl walking behind him with nothing on her back.

Male rape victims are ignored or taken less seriously

Sexual harassment in the workspace happens to men and to women, men are just less likely to report it since they’re taken less seriously.

There are female quotas for CEO jobs, which inadvertently puts more qualified men out of a job in the name of gender equality.

Men pay higher auto premiums.

Women in divorce courts are more likely to win custody.

Men who want to teach young children are weird creepy pedophiles.

30. Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

31. If a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine.

That if a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine. Fuck that. Guys are humans, not robots. They should be as expressive with their feelings as they want with whoever they want. I’d argue that trying to repress your own vulnerabilities is the real weakness.

32. Women who make rape accusations are automatically believed, even if theyre lying.

I fucking hate it that a woman can accuse a man of rape, and everyone’s on her side without a doubt, even if she’s lying. Flip it around, and the first thing the guy gets thrown in his face is probably something like You’re supposed to enjoy it, or You let a woman take control of you? That’s more scarring to the man than it is to the womanat least people take the woman’s word for it.

33. On a sinking ship, its women and children first.

The biggest double standard to me is ‘saving the women and children first.’ Why does a man’s life suddenly have less value in these sorts of situations?

34. Pro-choice? Men have absolutely no choice in the matter.

If an unmarried couple becomes pregnant the woman has 100% of the choice to keep the baby or have an abortion. If the man wants the baby and the woman doesn’t the man is out of luck. If the man doesn’t want the baby and the woman does the man is on the hook for 18 years of child support. Controversial I know, but I’d like to hear thoughts.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/34-men-discuss-societys-insane-double-standards-that-favor-women-and-hurt-men/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/07/16/34-men-discuss-societys-insane-double-standards-that-favor-women-and-hurt-men/

[adambstingus]

34 Men Discuss Society’s Insane Double Standards That Favor Women And Hurt Men

Found on AskReddit.

1. If women sexually harass us, its seen as amusing rather than rapey.

One night in a bar, this incredibly drunk, incredibly skanky woman started fucking grinding on me while I was just trying to sit and drink a beer. Rubbing her gross vag all over my pant leg, and generally being disgusting and inappropriate. While this was happening, I thought If the roles were reversed, security would be tossing me out the door headfirst. Instead, people just laughed.

2. If you go anywhere in public with little kids, youre seen as a predator pedo.

Im a 19 y/o male, and I babysit my 3 and 6-year-old girl cousins often. Last time I babysat them, we played tag, then we had to go to the grocery store. The 3-year-old decided that she wants to play tag, and runs away from me, so I chase her down, playfully saying, I’m gonna get ya! in a funny voice cuz it gets her to laugh. A mom passes by and grabs my 3-year-old cousin, takes the 6-year-old, and goes to a manager. My aunt had to come down and tell them that I was watching them. That was the worse it’s been, but if I go anywhere in public with little kids, especially girls, I’m seen as a predator pedo.

3. If you and a girl both get drunk and have sex, only one can be accused of rape.

There was the anti-rape poster I saw a while back, where two teens get drunk and hook up. The dude gets busted for rape since she couldn’t give consent. The poster mentions nothing about it being the other way around, as in the girl getting busted for rape since he couldn’t give consent. The poster completely disregards the dude as a possible victim. It even goes as far as shaming the dude saying he ruined his life. Made me sick. All it did was promote male victims to want to hide even more.

4. Men are always the dumb ones on TV.

That men are always the dumb ones on TV. I grew up with three sisters and my mom, and I’ve always been disregarded as the stupid, out-of-touch male. Then, when I end up being right most of the time, I make a big deal about it and make everything worse, AND ITS THE TVS FAULT.

5. Women dont get blamed for dumping a man; when a man dumps a woman, hes afraid of commitment.

When a woman leaves a relationship she is praised for pursuing her needs, but when man leaves a relationship he is criticized for not being able to commit.

6. Female bisexuality is accepted. Male bisexuals? Theyre just gay.

How female bisexuality is more accepted and acknowledgedsometimes even encouragedthan male bisexuality.

7. Male genital mutilationtotally legal in every country.

Female genital mutilation: Totally illegal in most countries. Male genital mutilation: Totally legal in country.

8. If a woman gets angry at a man, its his fault.

Man gets angry at a woman, he needs to control himself. Woman gets angry at a man, man needs to learn not to make her angry.

9. Our society doesnt believe that women can sexually abuse boys.

It’s probably way too late for this to get any attention but I am a male victim of sexual abuse.

I was first sexually abused when I was four years old. It was swept under the rug because the 25-year-old that did it to me was going through some things and didn’t know any better.

Fast-forward to when I’m 9 and I was sexually abused every Friday for over a year and a half. I was told by my abuser that if I let anyone know, it would be my fault and I would get in trouble. One day I finally told, just wanting it to end even if I got in trouble. What happened? Both me (9) and my female abuser (23) were given a stern talking to. That was it. She went on to live her life. I never saw her again.

Every Friday I was locked in a room and bound. I would be left in the dark while I would have her perform oral (attempted since I was 9 and unable of getting an erection). She would pump me full of fluids and when I had to go to the bathroom she’d have me pee on her. At times she would pee into a cup and try to force me to drink it. If I was being more cooperative than usual she would untie my hands and have me touch her. At the end of every, I dunno what to call itsession?she would tell me that if I told anyone I would be taken from my parents. Even if they didn’t take me from my parents her dad who was a bad man would kill my mom and my sisters.

That is until I was 15 and made a Facebook. She found me on there and would leave comments like look who grew up sexy and stuff like that. I reached out to the adults in my life and they told me to ignore it, which I did. But they told me I was a guy and I could handle it. It’s not something that keeps me awake at night. But in order to get over it I had to harden myself because I’m a guy and guys can’t get raped.

On a previous reddit account I went to open up on a victims of sexual abuse page. I wrote out a multi-page post just getting it out there. The only replies I got were about how I was a guy and I didn’t know what it was like to be violated as a woman. I was harassed for weeks by women on there for trying to compare my experience to theirs.

10. Women can beat us up all they want, but if we hit back, were monsters.

I’m a big guy, I shave my head and grow a beard, most people think I’m intimidating.

Truly I’m timid at heart, I know how to box but have always found a way around confrontation.

I had a girlfriend that got crazy violent when she was mad, knives, tazers, guns, frequently got involved. I hit her a lot in self defense (we were together for 3 years it definitely played into my low self esteem, i loved to hate it) and it completely ruined my psyche. I think of myself as a woman beater, as a misogynist now just knowing that I’m capable of it.

Just the idea that I can hit a woman has driven me to some of my darkest depths and even now typing it I dont feel justified in my actions despite the fact I was protecting my own life.

One night she came at me with a tazer from behind she started it early and I had enough time to move, she tripped and stunned herself, screaming in pain, bruised her forehead hitting it against the floor. Neighbors heard and called the cops and she gave a false statement. Of course looking the way I do it didn’t matter what I said, I spent a night in holding before she dropped the charges and got me out. I guess I’m just thankful she “loved” me enough not to let me get charged with that shit.

It’s made me scared about new relationships because I’m afraid someone can just tell a cop whatever they want and I’ll get fucked.

Shit this will probably get buried but it was nice to say it. edit: this post blew up r.i.p. my inbox. appreciate all the support and kind words. pm me if you want to talk peeps.

11. Stay-at-home dads are lazy losers; stay-at-home moms are empowered heroes.

I’m a stay-at-home father because I’m taking care of my wife and I’s 2 year old son. My wife’s got a career that’s promising advancement and she works sometimes 12 hour days. I often get the Why doesn’t he have a job and He’s a deadbeat dad routine but if I was a woman I’m sure I’d hear about how mothers work so hard as housewives.

TLDR; Man stays home raises child = Lazy, Woman stays home raises child = Hardworking Hero.

12. If youre a male nurse, people think its because you couldnt become a doctor.

When a man is a nurse people think and many times say in their face Couldn’t become a doctor, huh?

13. If a girl sexually assaults you, youre supposed to enjoy it.

I was sexually assaulted by a girl when I was plastered once and kept saying no I don’t want this. Woke up feeling violated and insanely uncomfortable yet when I told people they all told me to suck it up and I should’ve enjoyed getting some action.

14. There are huge gender disparities in criminal sentencing.

That women who have sex with underage boys aren’t given the same sentences as men who do the same with underage girls.

15. If men show feelings, theyre seen as pussies.

I don’t like how if guys show feelings and emotions they’re some kind of pussy and if a chick does it’s normal. We are all humans and we all have the same emotions that aren’t good to bottle up.

16. Guys are still expected to be the breadwinner.

I don’t like that there’s still this idea that guys have to be the breadwinners and provide for families. Some guys are cool with being househusbands, and women are just as capable of bringing home the money.

17. If a man who murdered a woman spoke at a Mens March, itd be national news.

There was a speaker at the women’s march on Washington named Donna Hylton. She got up on stage and talked about how she had spent 25 years in prison (not mentioning why of course), and the audience cheered.

Turns out, she spent 25 years in prison because in 1985, she and a handful of other people kidnapped a 60-year-old man, tried to ransom him for $435,000, tortured him for three weeks (Hylton personally sodomized him with a metal rod), strangled him, and stuffed his body into a chest to decompose.

I can’t help but wonder how a man with an equivalent record would be received at the same event.

18. Women are allowed to reject guys based on their looks without being seen as shallow.

When I turn down chubby women I’m shallow, but I get turned down for being bald and it just her preference.

19. If a man cheats, hes an asshole; if a woman does, its the mans fault.

I hate the TV portrayal that if a man cheats its cause hes an asshole and heartless but if a women does its scandalous and its cause her husband must either treat her bad or is just never around.

20. Despite what Hillary Clinton said, men are the primary victims of war.

That men for some reason have to be soldiers in some countries while woman only .

21. Divorce laws are lopsidedly in favor of women.

Divorce law.

Women are entitled to alimony at a MUCH higher percentage, even when she’s the primary bread winner.

The idea that a divorced woman has the right to a standard of living consistent to when you were married is gross. No one is entitled to a standard of living, that’s life. That we can be divorced and I can lose my job but still have to pay to keep you living how we were when we were married and I was employed…its insane.

22. Sex toys for girlsnormal. Sex toys for guysweird loser.

When a girl buys a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, he’s called a pervert?

23. A guy who plays video games for hours has a problem; a woman who watches Netflix all night doesnt.

When I play 3 hours of video games I have a problem. When my wife watches 5 hours of Netflix every night its not a problem. Edit: I agree this is not a gender thing. Sorry about answering the question wrong. There is a double standard with gaming/television watching though.

24. Men are expected to just sit back and let women hit them. If they complain, theyre a pussy; if they hit back, theyre a monster.

Domestic Violence. I just got out of an abusive relationship two weeks ago and I’m shocked at how hard it was for me to talk about it and get taken seriously with my peers. She was so mean and I’m the exact opposite these days. Only today have I felt validated for everything when I happened upon a counselor on another thread. I feel terrible about myself still and apparently that’s normal. I’m 6’4″ and a professional bouncer/bodyguard but let me tell you. Men can be abused just as easily as women. It was so bad I’m spending my lunch break here and trying to find a support group. The abuse was mental and very physical. Because I’m a large man though no one would take me seriously. It was always my fault, always me to blame. The preconceived general thought is that men are tough and can handle it. If not then I’m made to feel emasculated and told I’m a pussy. The truth is I just don’t believe in harming people I care about. I’m ranting now because I still can’t really talk about it to anyone. It’s a sad and shitty double standard. No one should have to deal with abuse.

25. Part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

That part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

We hear talk all the time about the gender earnings gap, women’s right to bodily autonomy (via abortions and access to birth control), and other women’s issues, and those are all important things to discuss.

What we don’t hear as often is the fact that 84% of the homeless are men, 92% of workplace fatalities happen to men, 91% of people in prison are men, etc.

We talk about the subtle forms of discrimination in society that result in women choosing to pursue careers which don’t compensate them financially the same way that careers popular with men dobut we never talk about the subtle forms of discrimination that cause men to at a rate nearly an order of magnitude higher than women.

26. When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke.

When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke. When a woman falsely reports a rape, it ruins the man’s life, she gets off scot-free or a tiny jail term.

27. Men who take selfies are much more likely to be accused of narcissism.

I have to say that the standard of what is acceptable on social media. If a female Instagram profile is full of 400 attractive selfies, people are not as critical of the narcissistic side of the pictures as much as they would if it were a guy. Not that I would want to post 400 selfies, but constantly posting pictures of yourself in specific poses isn’t a form of modeling or self-love as much as it is an expression of narcissism.

28. Theres no demand for plus size male models.

How we apparently need plus sized models to represent all women’s body types, but the thought of having male models with beer bellies and no rippling muscles/6 packs is disgusting.

29. Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men.

Women who can’t pay child support go to special homes. Men who can’t pay child support go to prison.

Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men, such as murder, rape, theft, or simple misdemeanors. Sometimes they aren’t punished at all

If a drunk male and a drunk female have sex, the female could charge for rape since she could not consent even though both parties voluntarily intoxicated themselves. This isn’t a common problem but it happens more than it needs to

Female requirements for the military, police, and fire responders are easier. During basic training in the army I saw a dude carrying 2 rucksacks (google it) and a girl walking behind him with nothing on her back.

Male rape victims are ignored or taken less seriously

Sexual harassment in the workspace happens to men and to women, men are just less likely to report it since they’re taken less seriously.

There are female quotas for CEO jobs, which inadvertently puts more qualified men out of a job in the name of gender equality.

Men pay higher auto premiums.

Women in divorce courts are more likely to win custody.

Men who want to teach young children are weird creepy pedophiles.

30. Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

31. If a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine.

That if a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine. Fuck that. Guys are humans, not robots. They should be as expressive with their feelings as they want with whoever they want. I’d argue that trying to repress your own vulnerabilities is the real weakness.

32. Women who make rape accusations are automatically believed, even if theyre lying.

I fucking hate it that a woman can accuse a man of rape, and everyone’s on her side without a doubt, even if she’s lying. Flip it around, and the first thing the guy gets thrown in his face is probably something like You’re supposed to enjoy it, or You let a woman take control of you? That’s more scarring to the man than it is to the womanat least people take the woman’s word for it.

33. On a sinking ship, its women and children first.

The biggest double standard to me is ‘saving the women and children first.’ Why does a man’s life suddenly have less value in these sorts of situations?

34. Pro-choice? Men have absolutely no choice in the matter.

If an unmarried couple becomes pregnant the woman has 100% of the choice to keep the baby or have an abortion. If the man wants the baby and the woman doesn’t the man is out of luck. If the man doesn’t want the baby and the woman does the man is on the hook for 18 years of child support. Controversial I know, but I’d like to hear thoughts.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/34-men-discuss-societys-insane-double-standards-that-favor-women-and-hurt-men/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/163070503847

[allofbeercom]

34 Men Discuss Society’s Insane Double Standards That Favor Women And Hurt Men

Found on AskReddit.

1. If women sexually harass us, its seen as amusing rather than rapey.

One night in a bar, this incredibly drunk, incredibly skanky woman started fucking grinding on me while I was just trying to sit and drink a beer. Rubbing her gross vag all over my pant leg, and generally being disgusting and inappropriate. While this was happening, I thought If the roles were reversed, security would be tossing me out the door headfirst. Instead, people just laughed.

2. If you go anywhere in public with little kids, youre seen as a predator pedo.

Im a 19 y/o male, and I babysit my 3 and 6-year-old girl cousins often. Last time I babysat them, we played tag, then we had to go to the grocery store. The 3-year-old decided that she wants to play tag, and runs away from me, so I chase her down, playfully saying, I’m gonna get ya! in a funny voice cuz it gets her to laugh. A mom passes by and grabs my 3-year-old cousin, takes the 6-year-old, and goes to a manager. My aunt had to come down and tell them that I was watching them. That was the worse it’s been, but if I go anywhere in public with little kids, especially girls, I’m seen as a predator pedo.

3. If you and a girl both get drunk and have sex, only one can be accused of rape.

There was the anti-rape poster I saw a while back, where two teens get drunk and hook up. The dude gets busted for rape since she couldn’t give consent. The poster mentions nothing about it being the other way around, as in the girl getting busted for rape since he couldn’t give consent. The poster completely disregards the dude as a possible victim. It even goes as far as shaming the dude saying he ruined his life. Made me sick. All it did was promote male victims to want to hide even more.

4. Men are always the dumb ones on TV.

That men are always the dumb ones on TV. I grew up with three sisters and my mom, and I’ve always been disregarded as the stupid, out-of-touch male. Then, when I end up being right most of the time, I make a big deal about it and make everything worse, AND ITS THE TVS FAULT.

5. Women dont get blamed for dumping a man; when a man dumps a woman, hes afraid of commitment.

When a woman leaves a relationship she is praised for pursuing her needs, but when man leaves a relationship he is criticized for not being able to commit.

6. Female bisexuality is accepted. Male bisexuals? Theyre just gay.

How female bisexuality is more accepted and acknowledgedsometimes even encouragedthan male bisexuality.

7. Male genital mutilationtotally legal in every country.

Female genital mutilation: Totally illegal in most countries. Male genital mutilation: Totally legal in country.

8. If a woman gets angry at a man, its his fault.

Man gets angry at a woman, he needs to control himself. Woman gets angry at a man, man needs to learn not to make her angry.

9. Our society doesnt believe that women can sexually abuse boys.

It’s probably way too late for this to get any attention but I am a male victim of sexual abuse.

I was first sexually abused when I was four years old. It was swept under the rug because the 25-year-old that did it to me was going through some things and didn’t know any better.

Fast-forward to when I’m 9 and I was sexually abused every Friday for over a year and a half. I was told by my abuser that if I let anyone know, it would be my fault and I would get in trouble. One day I finally told, just wanting it to end even if I got in trouble. What happened? Both me (9) and my female abuser (23) were given a stern talking to. That was it. She went on to live her life. I never saw her again.

Every Friday I was locked in a room and bound. I would be left in the dark while I would have her perform oral (attempted since I was 9 and unable of getting an erection). She would pump me full of fluids and when I had to go to the bathroom she’d have me pee on her. At times she would pee into a cup and try to force me to drink it. If I was being more cooperative than usual she would untie my hands and have me touch her. At the end of every, I dunno what to call itsession?she would tell me that if I told anyone I would be taken from my parents. Even if they didn’t take me from my parents her dad who was a bad man would kill my mom and my sisters.

That is until I was 15 and made a Facebook. She found me on there and would leave comments like look who grew up sexy and stuff like that. I reached out to the adults in my life and they told me to ignore it, which I did. But they told me I was a guy and I could handle it. It’s not something that keeps me awake at night. But in order to get over it I had to harden myself because I’m a guy and guys can’t get raped.

On a previous reddit account I went to open up on a victims of sexual abuse page. I wrote out a multi-page post just getting it out there. The only replies I got were about how I was a guy and I didn’t know what it was like to be violated as a woman. I was harassed for weeks by women on there for trying to compare my experience to theirs.

10. Women can beat us up all they want, but if we hit back, were monsters.

I’m a big guy, I shave my head and grow a beard, most people think I’m intimidating.

Truly I’m timid at heart, I know how to box but have always found a way around confrontation.

I had a girlfriend that got crazy violent when she was mad, knives, tazers, guns, frequently got involved. I hit her a lot in self defense (we were together for 3 years it definitely played into my low self esteem, i loved to hate it) and it completely ruined my psyche. I think of myself as a woman beater, as a misogynist now just knowing that I’m capable of it.

Just the idea that I can hit a woman has driven me to some of my darkest depths and even now typing it I dont feel justified in my actions despite the fact I was protecting my own life.

One night she came at me with a tazer from behind she started it early and I had enough time to move, she tripped and stunned herself, screaming in pain, bruised her forehead hitting it against the floor. Neighbors heard and called the cops and she gave a false statement. Of course looking the way I do it didn’t matter what I said, I spent a night in holding before she dropped the charges and got me out. I guess I’m just thankful she “loved” me enough not to let me get charged with that shit.

It’s made me scared about new relationships because I’m afraid someone can just tell a cop whatever they want and I’ll get fucked.

Shit this will probably get buried but it was nice to say it. edit: this post blew up r.i.p. my inbox. appreciate all the support and kind words. pm me if you want to talk peeps.

11. Stay-at-home dads are lazy losers; stay-at-home moms are empowered heroes.

I’m a stay-at-home father because I’m taking care of my wife and I’s 2 year old son. My wife’s got a career that’s promising advancement and she works sometimes 12 hour days. I often get the Why doesn’t he have a job and He’s a deadbeat dad routine but if I was a woman I’m sure I’d hear about how mothers work so hard as housewives.

TLDR; Man stays home raises child = Lazy, Woman stays home raises child = Hardworking Hero.

12. If youre a male nurse, people think its because you couldnt become a doctor.

When a man is a nurse people think and many times say in their face Couldn’t become a doctor, huh?

13. If a girl sexually assaults you, youre supposed to enjoy it.

I was sexually assaulted by a girl when I was plastered once and kept saying no I don’t want this. Woke up feeling violated and insanely uncomfortable yet when I told people they all told me to suck it up and I should’ve enjoyed getting some action.

14. There are huge gender disparities in criminal sentencing.

That women who have sex with underage boys aren’t given the same sentences as men who do the same with underage girls.

15. If men show feelings, theyre seen as pussies.

I don’t like how if guys show feelings and emotions they’re some kind of pussy and if a chick does it’s normal. We are all humans and we all have the same emotions that aren’t good to bottle up.

16. Guys are still expected to be the breadwinner.

I don’t like that there’s still this idea that guys have to be the breadwinners and provide for families. Some guys are cool with being househusbands, and women are just as capable of bringing home the money.

17. If a man who murdered a woman spoke at a Mens March, itd be national news.

There was a speaker at the women’s march on Washington named Donna Hylton. She got up on stage and talked about how she had spent 25 years in prison (not mentioning why of course), and the audience cheered.

Turns out, she spent 25 years in prison because in 1985, she and a handful of other people kidnapped a 60-year-old man, tried to ransom him for $435,000, tortured him for three weeks (Hylton personally sodomized him with a metal rod), strangled him, and stuffed his body into a chest to decompose.

I can’t help but wonder how a man with an equivalent record would be received at the same event.

18. Women are allowed to reject guys based on their looks without being seen as shallow.

When I turn down chubby women I’m shallow, but I get turned down for being bald and it just her preference.

19. If a man cheats, hes an asshole; if a woman does, its the mans fault.

I hate the TV portrayal that if a man cheats its cause hes an asshole and heartless but if a women does its scandalous and its cause her husband must either treat her bad or is just never around.

20. Despite what Hillary Clinton said, men are the primary victims of war.

That men for some reason have to be soldiers in some countries while woman only .

21. Divorce laws are lopsidedly in favor of women.

Divorce law.

Women are entitled to alimony at a MUCH higher percentage, even when she’s the primary bread winner.

The idea that a divorced woman has the right to a standard of living consistent to when you were married is gross. No one is entitled to a standard of living, that’s life. That we can be divorced and I can lose my job but still have to pay to keep you living how we were when we were married and I was employed…its insane.

22. Sex toys for girlsnormal. Sex toys for guysweird loser.

When a girl buys a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, he’s called a pervert?

23. A guy who plays video games for hours has a problem; a woman who watches Netflix all night doesnt.

When I play 3 hours of video games I have a problem. When my wife watches 5 hours of Netflix every night its not a problem. Edit: I agree this is not a gender thing. Sorry about answering the question wrong. There is a double standard with gaming/television watching though.

24. Men are expected to just sit back and let women hit them. If they complain, theyre a pussy; if they hit back, theyre a monster.

Domestic Violence. I just got out of an abusive relationship two weeks ago and I’m shocked at how hard it was for me to talk about it and get taken seriously with my peers. She was so mean and I’m the exact opposite these days. Only today have I felt validated for everything when I happened upon a counselor on another thread. I feel terrible about myself still and apparently that’s normal. I’m 6’4″ and a professional bouncer/bodyguard but let me tell you. Men can be abused just as easily as women. It was so bad I’m spending my lunch break here and trying to find a support group. The abuse was mental and very physical. Because I’m a large man though no one would take me seriously. It was always my fault, always me to blame. The preconceived general thought is that men are tough and can handle it. If not then I’m made to feel emasculated and told I’m a pussy. The truth is I just don’t believe in harming people I care about. I’m ranting now because I still can’t really talk about it to anyone. It’s a sad and shitty double standard. No one should have to deal with abuse.

25. Part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

That part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

We hear talk all the time about the gender earnings gap, women’s right to bodily autonomy (via abortions and access to birth control), and other women’s issues, and those are all important things to discuss.

What we don’t hear as often is the fact that 84% of the homeless are men, 92% of workplace fatalities happen to men, 91% of people in prison are men, etc.

We talk about the subtle forms of discrimination in society that result in women choosing to pursue careers which don’t compensate them financially the same way that careers popular with men dobut we never talk about the subtle forms of discrimination that cause men to at a rate nearly an order of magnitude higher than women.

26. When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke.

When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke. When a woman falsely reports a rape, it ruins the man’s life, she gets off scot-free or a tiny jail term.

27. Men who take selfies are much more likely to be accused of narcissism.

I have to say that the standard of what is acceptable on social media. If a female Instagram profile is full of 400 attractive selfies, people are not as critical of the narcissistic side of the pictures as much as they would if it were a guy. Not that I would want to post 400 selfies, but constantly posting pictures of yourself in specific poses isn’t a form of modeling or self-love as much as it is an expression of narcissism.

28. Theres no demand for plus size male models.

How we apparently need plus sized models to represent all women’s body types, but the thought of having male models with beer bellies and no rippling muscles/6 packs is disgusting.

29. Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men.

Women who can’t pay child support go to special homes. Men who can’t pay child support go to prison.

Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men, such as murder, rape, theft, or simple misdemeanors. Sometimes they aren’t punished at all

If a drunk male and a drunk female have sex, the female could charge for rape since she could not consent even though both parties voluntarily intoxicated themselves. This isn’t a common problem but it happens more than it needs to

Female requirements for the military, police, and fire responders are easier. During basic training in the army I saw a dude carrying 2 rucksacks (google it) and a girl walking behind him with nothing on her back.

Male rape victims are ignored or taken less seriously

Sexual harassment in the workspace happens to men and to women, men are just less likely to report it since they’re taken less seriously.

There are female quotas for CEO jobs, which inadvertently puts more qualified men out of a job in the name of gender equality.

Men pay higher auto premiums.

Women in divorce courts are more likely to win custody.

Men who want to teach young children are weird creepy pedophiles.

30. Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

31. If a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine.

That if a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine. Fuck that. Guys are humans, not robots. They should be as expressive with their feelings as they want with whoever they want. I’d argue that trying to repress your own vulnerabilities is the real weakness.

32. Women who make rape accusations are automatically believed, even if theyre lying.

I fucking hate it that a woman can accuse a man of rape, and everyone’s on her side without a doubt, even if she’s lying. Flip it around, and the first thing the guy gets thrown in his face is probably something like You’re supposed to enjoy it, or You let a woman take control of you? That’s more scarring to the man than it is to the womanat least people take the woman’s word for it.

33. On a sinking ship, its women and children first.

The biggest double standard to me is ‘saving the women and children first.’ Why does a man’s life suddenly have less value in these sorts of situations?

34. Pro-choice? Men have absolutely no choice in the matter.

If an unmarried couple becomes pregnant the woman has 100% of the choice to keep the baby or have an abortion. If the man wants the baby and the woman doesn’t the man is out of luck. If the man doesn’t want the baby and the woman does the man is on the hook for 18 years of child support. Controversial I know, but I’d like to hear thoughts.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/34-men-discuss-societys-insane-double-standards-that-favor-women-and-hurt-men/

[neonwizardheehee]

#i refused to tell her i just wanted to see how far shed dig this hope for herself IT WAS SO FUNNY PLEAAASSSE#‘i just thought they were the same’ IS IT BECAUSE THEYRE BOTH BALD#im still laughing about it with her shits too unny#this is what i meant shes unintentionally the funniest person on the planet it pisses me off#then she was like ‘wait do they ever kiss…’ like girl i wish. ill lie to you and say they do tho you cant detect sarcasm

Unable to get over my friend kayla thinking magneto and lex luthor were shipped together and shes so adamant on it for a solid five minutes while im just ‘the hell are you talking about’ while we’re playing rivals and shes like ‘no like werent they in a movie together with wolverine and they were young or something’ until she finally realizes she meant charles