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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 years ago

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AITA for correcting my niblings without my brother's input?

I had a massive falling out with my family when I was a teenager. I was into goth/edgy/horror culture and true crime before it was accepted by the mainstream, plus my parents were older when they had us and we lived on a farm. They needed my brother and me to keep the farm going, and I decided to pursue college instead. At some point after this they sold/lost their farm, but I do not know when, which fueled their resentment. At their request I did not speak to them until 2021, when my brother found me on Facebook to tell me my parents both died of covid and we held a Zoom funeral. After that he moved several states over to be closer to me so we could work on reconciliation and forgiving me for the farm incident.

So now I (45f) babysit his (44m) two youngest children (10m, 8f) for free, and have been since 2021. Initially he had full custody as his ex wife did not have a job or any job experience when they divorced (before we reconciled) but she now has a full time job so they share custody currently, although she is in our home state, so they decided the kids should go to school there still and spend holidays and summers with him. I am currently an art professor at a local university and for summer semester I only have morning classes and he works afternoons, so it works out.

Last week, his youngest asked me; "OP, how come you lie so much?" Her brother tried to shush her but I asked for clarification. Her brother told her she wasn't supposed to tell me, but she did anyway, and then he also chimed in to confirm. Turns out, whenever I told his kids about any vacations to other countries I took, he said I was making it up to sound important. When I told them I went to medical school, he said I was lying and was a glorified art teacher and only went to community college. I have a serious boyfriend who I have mentioned, although I do not spend time with him while babysitting per the mother's request not to have any adult with her children before meeting them and giving the okay, and so my brother insists I made him up.

I was very hurt, and so I showed them pictures, diplomas, videos, etc proving I was not lying. It is true I got into a community college near our home town on an art scholarship and an FHA grant, but I was able to skip generals due to advanced courses I was taking in high school. I quickly got interested in the medical field and was able to transfer to a medical school on several scholarships and obviously loans. I became a pediatric oncologist and was happy with that until my later thirties. I had kept art as a hobby but eventually realized I wanted to do more with it. I retired from pediatric oncology and then became an art professor five years ago. When I was a doctor, I met my current boyfriend (46m) who is a trauma surgeon. Starting in my late twenties, until covid, I was able to travel throughout the US and even to many foreign countries, sometimes for work, sometimes for vacation. There was no way for him to know this as we were not in contact, but I was very hurt that instead of believing me, he has been telling his kids I'm a liar for the past two years. So yes I did show them the photos and videos specifically because I was hurt.

The following day my brother called me and shouted at me, angry I had deliberately contradicted him. He was angry enough he was shouting at me. He has been dragging this on through text for the past few days. His ex wife also contacted me, asking for my version of events, as apparently their children called her crying about the situation. I told her exactly what I said here. He called me not an hour later screaming. Unbeknownst to me, she has been trying to get full custody of the children and he's convinced that this situation will get his kids taken from him, something he has a fear of due to the fact he has two adult children from a previous marriage who went no contact when they both turned 18. He insists that his ex wife turned them against him, and now he is terrified it will happen again. I was not aware of this until recently, nor did I think this would cause an issue with his custody. It has been very awkward babysitting his kids, as they have been very quiet since this whole thing happened. I don't have kids myself, nor have I been divorced, so I don't understand parenting or divorce etiquette, but I am still very hurt and even angry with him for calling me a liar to his children. Before I make any further decisions regarding an apology, I wanted to get advice as to whether I am the asshole for not bringing it up with him before showing his kids evidence that I did, in fact, do those things, and if so, how I can rectify this appropriately.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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amourdivine · 11 months ago

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୨ ♡ ୧︰ WHOSE MIND ARE YOU ON? ઉ PAC.

Hello, angels! I hope you're doing well! Today, I bring to you one of my favorite reading topics. Let's get curious and see whose mind are you on, shall we? If you liked this reading, please consider tipping me at @ [email protected] via paypal! xo ♡

› none of the images are mine unless stated otherwise. › personal readings are closed [as of february 2024] › navigation ♡ masterlist ♡ payhip

HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR PILE. take a few deep breaths and look at each picture separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later!

amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

୨୧ PILE ONE

ace of pentacles ✧ the tower ✧ two of wands

Oh, this is someone whom you've had a huge falling out with. The aftermath has left both of you scarred, the foundation of your connection has crumbled, but both of you still check up on one another. For one half of this pile, this is purely platonic, like an ex friend or co-worker. For the other half, this was a friends with benefit situation... feelings made things even messier and the two of you got caught up in a thunderstorm.

Regardless, this person holds so much love and so much hatred inside their heart. They're so angry, but they miss you so much. They look at your old photos, reminisce on old memories. I just saw a best friend necklace in my mind's eye. They want to talk to you, but in that exact same second, they are reminded that things aren't that way anymore. It pains them, it ails them.

They likely write about you in the form of poetry, maybe journaling. They listen to songs about you, maybe even watch or read tarot readings in the hopes of finding closure. I genuinely don't think this person means any harm towards you, you're just both incredibly hurt by one another and I think distance has done you well so far. The waters need to calm down before the two of you can talk again, feelings need to be addressed and processed before you can cross paths.

This person misses you so badly, but I think the thought of this connection still brings up a lot of triggers to the surface. You may have some harsh aspects in synastry that create this tension or perhaps the two of you are fire signs. Sort of like a harsh Mars and Pluto aspect, but take it how it resonates. For your sake, it's important you address the feelings you have for this person (be it rage, hatred or love) so you don't feel trapped by this situation.

channeled messages and signs: best friend, betrayal, 10 of swords, "how could you?", "i stay up thinking of you", pinky promises, bikes, red sweater, october, insecure, competitive, jealous, leo, pick me, saturn, 333, 7, "you were mine".

୨୧ PILE TWO

the world ✧ the sun ✧ three of cups

Ah, this is someone who's away from you physically, but not emotionally. They love you so much. It's possible they have traveled for work or study temporarily, but they can't wait to come home to you, to be in your arms. It feels a mix of platonic and romantic energy, so please take it how it resonates. It could be someone who hasn't confessed their feelings to you verbally, but I think it's pretty darn obvious.

Either way, you make this person so happy, so giddy, so full of hope and love. You remind them that there are better times ahead and I think there's something about your smell, your embrace or smile that this person adores. You inspire them in so many ways, there's literally no one like you in this world. You're their favorite - and I think it's a mutual feeling here.

If this is someone whom you've met online, they're so eager to meet you. They probably daydream about it, they're taking active steps towards it too. They hope for ice cream-filled days under the sun and walking with you in the park. I feel very idyllic, it's wholesome and adventurous at the same time.

You bring a sense of courage and strength in this person, I think you're their "energy booster" in a way, either through your words or just who you are in general. You give this person a bit of a sweet, but fun adrenaline rush. They're so excited by the thought of you.

channeled messages and signs: cottagecore, wifey, strawberries, hot pink, neon green, astronomy, lauv, riding shotgun, roadtrip, plane flights, concert tickets, airports, "baby blue", kpop, "bestie", "bae".

୨୧ PILE THREE

ten of cups ✧ six of pentacles ✧ seven of swords (clarified by the two of cups)

This is someone well established and hardworking, someone who seems quite happy on the surface. They live in a shiny world, a perfect world. At least that's what it looks like on the surface.

This person is married and may have children already. You work with them, or under them. However happy or well-meaning this person may seem towards you, they are secretly very, very attracted to you. They want something more than professional or platonic with you, but they're keeping it under wraps right now.

I can't help but feel icky, like this person wants to have it all and that means going behind their partner's back in order to have you. I don't think they would ever come right and clean about this to anyone in this situation. You're like a shiny object this person wants to collect for themselves, but it's not like they'd care for you in any capacity. I Want it All by Arctic Monkeys started playing in my head. I think this is probably this person's view towards the world.

The Eight of Cups is at the back of the deck - be sure to not engage with this person emotionally, or any more than you already have. They're not honest about their feelings or intentions and it shows in the way they're sneaking around, while their partner's blissfully ignorant about it. Cheater, fuckboy energy!

channeled messages and signs: black and white, indie pop, millenial, 1989, 1990, power dynamics, chief, corporate nightmare, suits, fanfiction, beard, "don't look back", the fray, melancholia.

୨୧ PILE FOUR

five of cups ✧ seven of wands ✧ knight of swords

Whoever this is, I feel a more childish, impulsive energy. I don't know if this person is still in your life, but chances are they regret something they did or said to you. They're mourning your connection for the time being. I think you pulled away from them over a boundary they crossed or you stood your ground and they weren't expecting it. The friction here may not have been grand, but it was enough to make them feel guilty, regretful and even ashamed.

They're looking back on their actions and they're wishing they had a do-over. For some reason, I feel like this person is younger than you or just less experienced. They have a "younger sibling" feel to them, someone who's still a page. You were a source of stability and comfort to them, I think they still look up to you in some way, because I feel that they're ashamed over disappointing you.

However, as sad as it is, it doesn't seem like the end of your connection, for most of you. If this is a family member, like a cousin or sibling, chances are you'll both need to let this "marinate" and come back to talk about it later. They want to talk it out with you regardless, so it's not as definite as it may have seemed before. Even if you do have your guard up towards this person and vice-versa, give this connection a chance. I honestly feel like there's still a lot of love and admiration left between the two of you.

channeled messages and signs: "i wish you were here", victory, number 7, stubborn, "i'm the older one!", nitpicky, play-fighting, gossip, lullabies, bedtime stories, "i was trying to protect you", defensiveness, muddy waters, family portraits, petty, blocked.

୨୧ PILE FIVE

queen of pentacles ✧ the star ✧ five of pentacles ✧ three of wands

This is a motherly person. They could be an actual mother, an aunt, a grandma, or simply someone who embodies these nurturing traits, almost to the point of being a little overbearing. It can also be a "mom friend", someone who cares for others by giving them gifts. They're well established and might give unsolicited advice in regards to career, finances or relationships, but they mean well.

The reason why you're on this person's mind is because they're wishing you well. Maybe you suffered a loss recently, or you've been depressed and this person is hoping you can recover soon. I think you may have distanced yourself from others, but this person wants to help you. Still, they're waiting on you to reach out to them.

It's possible they've sent you flowers or "get well soon" texts and cards. I don't know why I get the feeling you were or are sick, struggling in some type of visible way and that's why they're worried. Maybe to you it doesn't seem like a big deal, but since this person is more experienced, they know how to deal with certain things and they really want to help you.

They might have offered you to stay at their place, or maybe have cooked you soup. I get very lovely, nurturing feelings from this pile. They wish you well and hope you can cheer up soon! For some, this is a person from your home country? You may be studying or working abroad and this mother figure wants you to take care of yourself. Aw!

channeled messages and signs: south korea, china, "i'm fine! i promise", subway, skip and loafer, exam season, 555, big city, hometown, missing the train, "i'm running late", overprotective, homemade meals, flu season, childhood movies, growing up, middle age crisis.

୨୧ PILE SIX

eight of cups ✧ eight of wands ✧ ten of swords ✧ the sun

This is such a back and forth energy, pile six. I won't lie, it feels difficult but exciting... but also really difficult? This person has been in and out of your life multiple times. You fight and then get back to each other. Then you fight again, going round and round.

It's interesting because The Sun is here, so you do make each other very happy, but you also make each other very miserable. I think this dynamic moved very fast unexpectedly. There's lots of attraction, but also lots of heartbreak. It could be a friends with benefits situation, maybe an ex you can't get over. I also heard "sneaky link" and the messages feel quite 18+, if you get what I mean.

You see, you enjoy this person's presence very much. Even when they tease you. And you've hurt each other many times, but I think you can't stop coming back to one another. There's this strange, unbreakable bond, but it's also a connection that triggers the both of you a lot and could've turned quite toxic.

This is the only pile where I had to pull more than four cards to channel the messages and I got the Queen of Wands. I think both of you are drawn to each other like moths to a flame, but there's some maturing needed if this connection is meant to progress. I didn't include advice in the previous pile, but the High Priestess came out for you as advice. So make sure to tune in to your emotions, your needs and how this person is engaging with you. Is this something truly fulfilling for you? How are you being called to step up your boundaries, your words and your actions? Connect to what you truly desire for yourself.

channeled messages and signs: "in my feels", drake songs, coquette aesthetic, water by tyla, pink hat, y2k, black girl magic, it girl, jennie kim, long hair, neon lights, freeze, nail art, "know your worth", boss, "cheer up buttercup", "you're so high maintenance", work crush, toxic by britney spears.

DISCLAIMER. Tarot is a divination tool, it’s not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. I don’t take responsibility for any choices made by you or others regarding my readings. Be mindful ♡

#pick a card #tarotblr #tarot reading #pick a card reading #tarot #pac reading #astrology #divination #pick a pile #tarot witch #witchblr #tarotcommunity #tarot readings #tarot readers #*#mine.

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thyfleshc0nsumed · 1 month ago

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does sympathy for hatred work into your belief? loaded question, i'm sorry. i know you have enough empathy to go around. it was an unkind question with unkind feelings behind it. i hurt. but i don't know what i'm are supposed to do with pedo-rapists that will never stop haunting us. daddy's in prison for the next 15 years and mommy wishes i had died. i feel so lonely. feel like my terror makes me a centrist or something. i feel so stupid.

You are not stupid, nor are you wrong for feeling how you feel. It is not a failure of any kind to feel the ways that you do. In fact, feeling these things is part of the process, at least within my process.

I don't think where I have currently landed as it comes to forgiveness is above or below anyone else. It's not a moral question whatsoever. In many ways, it's fueled by pure pragmatism and self-interest. It's the only way I personally have found to move forward with my life. And to me, that says nothing about anyone else or their path. It is only what I have found has helped me.

I will speak on my story because that is all I can speak on--this is not an attempt to 'diagnose' you or where you are at within your process; when I say 'I,' I authentically mean I, myself.

For a long time I was not ready to move forward. I was angry. I had been hurt badly by so many, in ways that were not merely the unavoidable forms of harm that being a human in relationship with other humans brings about. And I was not ready to let that go.

That is a neutral fact. Healing is not an imperative, and suffering is part of the process. It was not wrong for me to be angry, or to feel hate for those who hurt me, or to not be ready to move beyond those experiences. If i still felt that way today, or in a decade, or till the end of my life, it would not be wrong. If I died still with those feelings, there would be no shame in that.

For a very long time, I truly did not believe there was any other option. Perhaps there were no other options for me with the spot I was at in life, maybe there was no other way it could have been. This acceptance of what 'was' is useful in looking back, but not helpful for projecting onto the future. For a long time, I did project this fatalism into the future. I believed the story of my life was already told, and I just had to watch. But slowly, over the course of a number of years, my conviction in that belief weakened and alongside it, something else sprouted.

I met Anat at a partial hospitalization program for my eating disorder in 2021. She was early 30s. We were the only two smokers in the group, so we got to know each other quickly and well. She kicked dope when she was about my age at the time and had been sober ever since.

I used for a lot of reasons, to boil it down to some singular, cohesive, narratively-fulfilling motivation neglects the truth of the matter.

I used because drugs are fun, and I like them. I used because they passed the time. I used because I felt unfulfilled and they were a distraction. And I used because all I wanted was to not exist anymore so I could stop hurting, and getting fucked up felt easier than killing myself.

Before meeting Anat, I genuinely did not believe that recovery--by which I mean more than simple abstinence--was possible for me. Of course, cognitively, I knew there were addicts who stopped, stayed stopped, and got better, but I didn't know any, or at least none like me. And Anat was like me, I could tell. I wanted to stop, I had every reason to stop, I faced consequence after consequence for not having stopped, and still, I kept going. But here in front of me was evidence that it was possible. I was still not yet ready. I was stringing a week or less together at a time, miserable for every second of it. I was not ready to let go of what was keeping me there.

Anat was murdered a month after I met her. When I found out, I downed gin till i was unconscious. I was angry, I was lost, I was hurt, and I wished I never met her because meeting her changed something in me: I started to believe that something--anything!--else was possible from life besides endless hurt.

The funny thing about belief is that, well, we can't believe what we don't believe. And I didn't believe what I used to anymore, or at least not as unshakably. There was a seed of doubt: maybe something else is possible. I did not yet believe it, but I had been forced to become the tiniest bit open to the idea. Maybe I am wrong; maybe this is not all that there is.

And that's all it takes to get the ball rolling.

"Do you believe, or are you willing to believe?"

I don't remember the next year of my life very well, but i know it was very, very, very bad. I kept using, and it only got worse. I continued getting raped again and again. I got evicted. But the one thing I had was the morsel of hope growing inside of me.

And I hated it. Hope means I feel that I owe it to myself to try. Cynicism has a comfort to it: sure, things may suck, but at least I know they'll suck. Hope lacks that. Hope requires me to open myself up to disappointment. Hope had always been folly to me.

But slowly, I stopped wanting to hurt. That sliver of belief that the hurt could maybe stop turned into a desire. To fulfill the desire, the only option was to try. If hurt is assured through one path, and only a possibility in the other, I must choose the second, even though it is very possible I do not avoid the hurt.

It is not wrong to not be ready to move forward. If your process has not led you to want what I have come to want, that is not a failure. It does not make you deficient. I was not wrong to be where I was 4 years ago and I am not right for being where I am today. Maybe your process leads you elsewhere. Maybe your life worth living is very different than mine. None of these things are anything besides 'is.'

I heard a call from within myself that I had never heard before, and I felt compelled to answer it: act only out of goodwill and love for others and myself. Simple, but not easy.

I am myself and myself alone. The only life I get to live is my own. It is not for me to say what anyone else should do, because I am not anyone else and I do not know what anyone else should do. Maybe you got the same call as me, maybe you feel differently about it, maybe you didn't get it at all, maybe you never will, maybe you get a different call. Maybe your process is different. I am not you, I have neither ability nor desire to judge you or anyone else. All I can do is what i can and hope that others are happy and fulfilled, no matter what.

#xoxo

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woman-respecter · 5 months ago

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On the topic of tankies,

THEY HATE AO3 SO MUCH THAT THEY TREAT IT LIKE THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL AND IT NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH 😭

Pre October 7th, most of the blogs I followed had always been very political but seemed normal for the most part.

Now, they're all constantly rage posting about AO3 like it's the most of everyone's problems 😭 it's giving 4chan talking about Jews every second and bringing us into everything not gonna lie.

"You evil queers support Ao3 but question Palestinians on Tumblr, racist genocidal zionazis 🤬" these people are sooo insane. People donating to Ao3 bothers them so much that whenever anything happens now it goes back to Ao3..it's giving Trump blaming everything on the libs

Whenever any sort of injustice trends on here the response from tankies is automatically "you use/donate to ao3 you guys are evil monsters" ???? 😭🤨

Oh and don't forget the constant "this is tumblr staff's fault". They're sooo extremist that suddenly whenever anyone gets banned it's prejudice from the staff. Like girl! You posted blatant antisemitic shit straight from mein kampf but you being banned is somehow *checks notes* a result of the staff silencing Palestinians? 🤨 if you cannot criticise tumblr without immediately diving into batshit crazy conspiracies where every move the tumblr staff makes is bigotry and an attack on minorities idk what to tell you.

Idgaf about anyone hating ao3 but it's very strange to watch how they decide to hate it in the most extremist way possible lmao.

Also obsessed with how they go so left they end up right. Popular responses from leftists about the fake Palestinian scammers was "you people are always poor and ebegging but you draw the line at giving Palestinians money" 😐

Wow being classist towards the people you don't like will surely show them! Also obsessed with how only Palestinians matter in this case. They are allowed to say these things and then get cheered on by many (these posts get thousands of reblogs and likes lmaoo) because Palestinians are experiencing the Worst Thing in The World which means only they matter and anyone who supports them are allowed to say whatever they want in support. Therefore making fun of poor people who ask for money on Tumblr is progressive actually because it's in support of Palestinians.

Funny enough tankies are also homophobic when it comes to hating ao3 and everyone who dares to use that evil website but they're #gay so it's okay 😭😭😭 they'll say shit like "you queers have money for ao3 and never Palestine" first of all targetting gay people when I know many straight people who use ao3 is insanee. 2) where do they get this info from because they are always saying this but i only ever see queers donating to palestinians 😭 are they seriously making shit up to be angry about ? they talk about it like every gay person in the world is donating to the evil ao3 instead of palestine when it's a much smaller number than they exaggerate it to be.

i made a post in like 2021 (which got like 30k notws but i can’t find it bc tumblr search function sux) about how tumblr users would act like its evil to donate to ao3 instead of people’s (like fl****s******e) personal gofundmes but once again you can just replace personal gfms with palestine scam asks this time. really nowadays donating to anything that doesn’t have to do with The Omnicause is seen as EVIL. like chill, people can care about multiple things. plus i bet most of these people raging against ao3 still spend many hours on the site and get free entertainment from it so its like. do u want this site to exist or not because servers cost money and it can’t exist without donations.

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moonsinkfoxgirl · 6 months ago

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Of the various designs for the fox emoji, which one would you say is your favorite? 🦊

iOS (2016/2017/2024) -- 7/10 that's a cute foxy, but there is a certain cartooony ness about them that lessens their impact

Android (2016) -- 9.5/10 a wilder foxy, with a serious expression, simple and beautiful

Android (2017) -- 9/10 sudden change entirely, thoroughly simplified, but a core foxyness is retained and you get a good smile that can be both adorably whimsical as well as mischievous

Android (2020-2023) -- 5/10 that's a foxy alright, but she borders on being soulless

Samsung (2016) -- 2/10 easily mistaken for some form of rodent

Samsung (2018) -- 6/10 a lot better but a similar problem, the cute eyes do kind of elevate her though

Samsung (2019) -- 5/10 the plushie look helps a bit but very similar

Samsung (2023, 2024) -- 2/10 you could convincingly claim they're hamsters

Microsoft 3D fluent (2023) -- 0/10 may the gods have mercy on whoever decided to turn the beautiful Vulpes Vulpes into this abomination of artificial plastic

Microsoft (2016) -- 8/10 a striking shape in a beautiful style, but perhaps a bit too lacking in emotion to capitalize on that

Microsoft (2021, 2023) -- 1/10 it's better than the plastic 3D render but still a crime

Whatsapp (all of them) -- 4/10 not as bad as the samsung hamsters but you could still make the case

Twitter (all of them) -- 8/10 a cute and fine foxy, again a bit lacking in the emotional department

facebook (2017) -- 9/10 a delightfully whimsical foxy

facebook (2018, 2023) -- ‽⸘/10 this foxy was taken on a boat, gripped at her tail by some sort of tentacle, dragged to the bottom of the ocean where she saw abyssal truths that would be too much for the mind of any creature, and has now miraculously washed up on shore, wet, bedraggled, knowing

Huawei (2023) -- 8/10 this foxy holds many a wisdom

Joypixels (2016) -- 6/10 one day I may welcome our robot fox overlords but that day is not today

Joypixels (2017) -- 8/10 these foxies are young and curious

Joypixels (2018) -- 7/10 a step backwards from above

Joypixels (2019, 2020) -- 6/10 a villainous foxy full of deceit, not necessarily a badly made depiction under that premise but it is a harmful stereotype!

Joypixels (2020, 2023, 2024) -- 4/10 these foxies are being forced to smile fake smiles at 60 hours per week customer service jobs, please free them, they are calling for help

LG (2021) -- 5/10 a long nose lacking in emotion

Twitter emoji stickers (2022) -- 7/10 that's an expensive fursuit head

SerenityOS (2024) -- 1/10 at least with all the other rodents and hamsters you can kind of imagine them to be foxies if you're told that's what they're meant to be, but this? this is a mouse no matter how you look at it

TossFace (2022, 2023) -- -1/10 a corporate abomination

Sony Playstation (2021) -- 8/10 a cutie!

Noto Emoji font (2023) -- 8/10 a black and white cutie!

Openmoji (2018/2023) -- 2/10 could be convincingly claimed to be a kangooroo

Icons8 (2023) -- 5/10 she's old and angry and doesn't like you

emojidex (2016/2017) -- 3/10 these girls are haggard

Emojipedia sample images (2016/2018) -- 2/10 could be confused for rodents again

the girl you sent me without a source -- 8/10 a serious cutie, but she could be mistaken for a wolf

#asks #phew that was a lot of work #<- says the girl who made it that much work on her own will #サンキューリコちゃん^^

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brf-rumortrackinganon · 4 months ago

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Barrister Law USA on Twitter has said the Harkles are living apart. We may be advised to take every post by accounts online ‘with a grain of salt’ but when multiple blogs and accounts are posting the same thing, something must be going on.

Barrister Law is not credible. They’re a lawyer in the southern US who has a medical emergency every time they get called out or challenged by the twitterati. Someone who can’t handle the heat isn’t someone who has trustworthy gossip.

But a broken clock is right twice a day.

And, do you know why we always say “take with salt” when it comes to internet gossip? Because it’s all anonymous sources that cannot be verified from anonymous accounts that cannot be authenticated. We have no idea if everyone is using the same sources. We have no idea if people are making things up. We have no idea if the sources are legitimate or if they have a grudge or if they have actual connections or if there’s bias involved.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say this again: Just because multiple accounts and blogs are talking about the same thing, it doesn’t mean it’s actually happening. All it means is that those accounts and those blogs are in the same echo chamber and share many of the same users/visitors. That’s why it’s important to diversify where you get your news (or gossip) from, so you get out of that echo chamber so you can see what is really happening.

So for me, when I see the same stories on my spectrum of websites, that tells me something is brewing - because I know liberal publications and bloggers absolutely do not have the same sources as conservative publications and bloggers.

For the record, since many are asking:

CDAN and Enty do completely make things up themselves but they do have good connections to Hollywood PR

DeuxMoi also makes things up and has gone on the record saying they make things up. Not trustworthy at all.

Exposing SMG takes gossip and analysis from other blogs and websites and repackages it as their own.

I do believe that Lady C has sometimes-knowledgeable sources but she keeps moving the goalposts for The Big Sussex Takedown so her accuracy is doubtful. I think she makes some things bigger to keep her audience and viewers engaged.

BarkJack/TLF has bonafide journalism credentials but I doubt their sources are still in the know because everything they take credit for happened years ago and their scoops are so vague (to protect their sources, as they always claim) because it lets them take credit for everything no matter how it actually happens.

Astrology and tarot is all subjective based on the reader and the reader’s own biases and I don’t consider their readings to have any authority until after a prediction has come to pass.

But what I do note about astrology and tarot is that when several people on different platforms who I know don’t know each other are saying the same/similar things, that’s worth paying attention to. And so far, that “universal signal” (if you will) has only happened three times: in mid-2017 when many of these began picking up on a new baby for the Cambridges, in 2020 or 2021 (I’ll have to find my notes to double-check specific dates) when those sites noted a pregnancy loss for the Cambridges, and this summer when they were seeing big changes in store for the Sussexes October/November. While these sites are saying different causes (Sussex divorce/separation, the children and LOS issues, the children’s titles, Charles modernizing, Charles dying, Sussexes returning) they’re all citing October/November timeframe. That’s worth paying attention to, IMO.

I don’t watch any of the royal YouTubers so I can’t comment on any of them.

Reddit is kinda a crapshoot. It’s hit or miss. SMM gets good gossip but the channel and most of its commentariat have huge angry biases against the Sussexes so I always question how much of it is real and how much of it is exaggerated for engagement. The Royal Gossip sub is fairer but they also cover all royals everywhere and sometimes you may have to dig.

Quora is definitely a crapshoot. Christopher Jones/Jackson/Johnson (I forget his last name) started out credible but lately seems to be more fantastist and I’m not sure that he’s as credible or believable any more.

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salvadorbonaparte · 3 months ago

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2024 in Films - Part III

I watched a lot of stuff again, some even for grad school.

August

Lola Rennt (1998) - banger soundtrack and editing

Vertigo (1958) - the most boring of the Hitchcock films I've seen so far

A League of Their Own (1992) - makes me want to watch baseball

White Men Can't Jump (1992) - did not expect jeopardy to be so important in this film, also loved the fashion

The Fall Guy (2024) - my mum loves the original series so we had to watch this and I had an amazing time

Blinded by the Light (2019) - the dialogue is strange at times but a banger soundtrack (obviously) and some amazing editing, very uplifting and I watched this on my flight to the US btw

Good Will Hunting (1997) - I watched this during my first week in Massachusetts before starting grad school here

Alien3 (1992) - this film says so much about gender, actually

Deaf Smith & Johnny Ears (1973) - taking lots of liberties with Texan history and also surprising homoerotic subtext

September

Causeway (2022) - a film that I originally only found meh but then kept thinking about all the time

Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979) - equally blood libel as the og with an added bonus of cycle of violence, might write an essay about this

Sleepaway Camp (1983) - another horror film that says so much about gender and I could write an entire essay about it

My Best Fiend (1999) - Werner Herzog must be studied under a microscope

We're All Going to the World's Fair (2021) - not as good as I saw the tv glow imo but asking some important questions about online communities and reality

Jacob the Liar (1974) - the film felt a little too empty but I also don't want to say something negative because I am still angry about a bad review I saw

Chris Grace: As Scarlett Johansson (2024) - absolutely transformed the way I think about stand up comedy

All Quiet on the Western Front (1930) - the old lie dulce et decorum est pro patria mori

The Shock (1923) - as ableist and racist as you expect from the 20s but with a great performance from Lon Chaney

Trap (2024) - I actually really enjoyed this, even though I was waiting for an even crazier plot twist

Don't Think I've Forgotten: Cambodia's Lost Rock and Roll (2014) - a documentary that nearly made me cry

Hudson Hawk (1991) - technically a rewatch but I need to speak my truth and it's that I like this film

All Quiet on the Western Front (2022) - I have so many issues that this would take an entire post or even conference paper

The Russians Are Coming! The Russians are Coming! (1966) - had me in stitches half the time, I love a good cold war comedy

The Bone Collector (1999) - spooky!

Monkey Shines (1988) - also horror and gender but also silly

Death in Venice (1971) - boring :/

October

UPSIDEdown (2013) - I watched this one twice, once with the director, also had lunch and coffee with him, I had an issue at first with how child protection service is portrayed but that part is apparently real, also he cast a neurodivergent kid, which is awesome

The Master (2012) - I love when men are also poorly trained attack dogs, also can you imagine sending that guy to the cult from Midsommar? Also still haunted by Philip Seymour Hoffman

Like Stars on Earth (2007) - neurodivergent kids need neurodivergent role models!!!

The Lost Honor of Katharina Blum (1975) - I have so much to say about this tbh

Farewell Disco (1990) - at first I found this kinda boring but then I was also enchanted by the inclusion of Sorbian culture

The Kangaroo Conspiracy (2022) - just read the books

November

Srikanth (2024) - fairly standard biopic, meanders a bit but solid soundtrack and performance

Innocent Witness (2019) - this one impressed me so much I recommended it to multiple people, also I'm an autistic person who is besties with my lawyer so bonus points for that, I could talk a lot about this too

Hunt (2022) - Probably less confusing if you know more about Korean history, fun plot twist and imo some homoerotic tension

Scarlett Innocence (2014) - tbh I didn't even watch the whole thing because I don't go for erotic thrillers, I just watched the scenes where Jung Woo Sung is a poor little meow meow

Inseperable Bros (2019) - some dialogue was a bit awkward but that might have been the translation, I like that this was about interabled platonic relationships

Remember You (2016) - the first plot twist is predictable as hell but the second one hit me in the face like a brick

The Childe (2023) - Kim Seon-ho has the range (creepy and babygirl) (covered in blood and coughing up blood)

The Good The Bad The Weird (2008) - not only the best western I've ever seen but also one of the best films I've seen this year at all

Sympathy for Mr Vengeance (2002) - very unsatisfying, but in a good way

As We Were Dreaming (2015) - the German answer to banlieu films, a film about the reunification of Germany from a different perspective than you're used to, despite living decades later and in the west I feel like I know these characters

Transit (2018) - the anti Casablanca, a double exposed picture of past and present, a Kafkaesque limbo of bureaucracy and loss of identity

Berlin Alexanderplatz (2020) - long, confusing, too smart for me and I still couldn't stop watching it. There's something very queer about this film too.

Wicked (2024) - I haven't seen the musical but went to see the film with my friend (and her family) and physically went 👀 to her every time something gay happened. I'm sorry I doubted you Ariana Grande.

December

Fly Me to the Moon (2024) - I watched this on a terrible transatlantic red eye flight and it entertained me. Unique concept but predictable execution

Debbie Macomber's Dashing Through the Snow (2015) - shout out to the Jewish biker guy handing out free puppies

Round and Round (2023) - Actually a really fun Hallmark holiday film?? And a nice twist on the time loop genre??

Wicked Little Letters (2023) - Very fun to watch on new years eve while tipsy

#films #reviews #2024 in films #film log #macks musings

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youjustwaitsunshine · 10 months ago

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Seb helmets: the long awaited sequel

Mugello 2020:

Not on Seb's website, but still on ferraris instagram, Seb had this helmet to celebrate Ferraris 1000th gp. (in the same week, he announced his move to aston martin)

Turkish GP 2021

a beautiful sea creature design to remind us to save our oceans. i personally really love the turtles

Singapore GP 2022

gorgeous neon rainbow on super light absorbent black design. now it can be said with finality (as of yet): jens munser and sebastian vettel never missed when it was about helmets in singapore. i have a keychain of this helmet so I'm especially fond of it.

British GP 2022

ngl i cried a bit just from pulling those pictures up again. he is so loved. i love how even though we know barely anything about sebs family, this helmet shows so much personality from his kids and hanna. this is the most gorgeous helmet of them all. however, shoutout to the subtle nigel mansell design hed have driven with if his family hadn't made a secret birthday helmet for him.

Abu Dhabi 2022

I'm so so proud to be a fan of a driver who loves his fans. The few times I've met Seb, he's always taken his time - often more than allotted - to greet as many people as he could, pose for pictures sign things etc. He feels very genuine in showing his appreciation for his fans and so I think this helmet is a beautiful monument to the love people have for him. He is deeply beloved and in turn, he loves his fans and has shown this from his retirement message that was so much more personal than a press release, over the time between the announcement to his last race and beyond. This helmet is a testament to the way we love Seb and the way he loves us back.

USGP 2022

Peace and Love baby! this gorgeous woodstock inspired piece is incredibly gaudy and glittery and very unapologetically so. i love it deeply but opinions were very split on it

Japan 2022

a very cleverly done thank you to helmet provider arai. who doesn't love opening packages? especially one as beautiful as this one! it's a bit sad to not have the little ninja mascot on the helmet for sebs last f1 race in japan, however, with his 2022 helmet designs being so beautiful and elevated, he outgrew it a bit. important side note about japan 2022 here is sebs battle to the line with fernando alonso.

Hungary 2021

Let us remember this GP for the joy it brought and not the desperation that followed. Seb came, saw and served cunt in his rainbow sneakers, rainbow shirt, rainbow mask and rainbow helmet. He drove to the podium and nothing bad or terrible happened after.

Brazil 2022

the intertwined bars of the german and then, further up, the climate change flag (and the brazilian one on top) are reminiscent of the 2018 german gp helmet!

Austria 2022

The iconic bee helmet! I actually have a few pics of this one from the Austrian GP that i took myself. Even though that GP specifically sucked so hard it made Seb sway towards retiring, the helmet is beautiful and iconic.

Honourable Mentions:

- Miami 2022: the snorkel helmet! first GP underwater, also premiering sebs GIGANTICALLY OVERSIZED climate change t shirt also found in his shoo

- Canada 2022: Canadas Climate Crimes/ stop mining tar sands. this one made a politician on twitter sooooo angry. it lost her rant a bit of credibility that she directly profited from the tar sand mining.

- LGBTQ+ CLEAN OUR OCEANS (Abu Dhabi 2021): the world's to do list. i mostly have to laugh at the unlucky placement of the lgbtq+ and the clean our oceans phrase. why are the cishets exempt from cleaning our oceans? questionable.

- Race4Women: Saudi Arabia 2021. a return of the beautiful day-glow paint.

almost all of sebs helmets are either on the sebsite or deep in jens munsers archives (difficult but not impossible to find)

Seb helmet masterpost

#sebastian vettel #ive seen a few of these helmets irl at the essen motorshow and i honestly just stood there in awe #helmets like this are such an underrated art form

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justinspoliticalcorner · 3 months ago

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Jessica Valenti at Abortion, Every Day:

They are killing us. I don’t know any other way to put it. Yeniifer Alvarez-Estrada Glick. Candi Miller. Amber Nicole Thurman. And now, Josseli Barnica—a 28-year old mother, whose smiling face in a selfie she took with her daughter made me weep as soon as I read ProPublica’s headline: “A Texas Woman Died After the Hospital Said It Would be a ‘Crime’ to Intervene in Her Miscarriage.”

Josseli died in 2021, before Roe was overturned but after Texas passed SB 8. Even though she was miscarrying at just 17 weeks into her pregnancy with no chance for the fetus’ survival, doctors told Josseli they couldn’t treat her while there was still a heartbeat. By the time her Houston hospital intervened, she had spent two days with a fetus pressed up against her open cervix, exposing her to bacteria. Josseli died of a preventable infection three days later. I am heartbroken, but more than that I am just so angry. I am angry that this young beautiful woman is dead. I am angry that her now-4 year-old daughter will grow up without a mother. I am angry that we have to live in a country where our lives are treated as disposable. And I am really, truly furious about what I know will come next. Anti-abortion groups will rush to send out tweets and press releases with phony condolences, insisting that Texas’ law allows life-saving care. They will blame doctors for not acting quickly enough, the hospital for not giving providers clear enough guidance—even pro-choicers for ‘scaring’ doctors out of treating patients. Anything to shirk blame and to wash the blood off their hands.

We cannot let that happen. When Susan B. Anthony Pro-Life America comes out with a statement promising that abortion bans protect women, I want you to remember that they lobbied against exceptions for women’s lives. When the American Association of Pro-Life Obstetricians and Gynecologists (AAPLOG) claims that Josseli should have been given care, remember that the ‘care’ they’re referring to isn’t an abortion—but a forced c-section or vaginal labor. That’s because these groups believe abortion is never necessary to save a person’s life. They use language and push for laws accordingly. Most of all, I want us to remember—and for all Americans to know—that these organizations and legislators knew this would happen. They knew women would suffer and die as a result of their laws and decided to pass them anyway. There is no press release or talking point that can paper over that truth: they decided our deaths were an acceptable trade-off for a political win.

When I say that the anti-abortion movement planned for deaths like Josseli’s, I mean it literally. In October 2022, I warned that conservatives had launched a preemptive messaging campaign to blame doctors and abortion rights activists for women’s deaths. Today, two full years later, we’re watching Republicans insist that it’s not bans endangering women, but pro-choice “misinformation” about the laws. They didn’t just plan to avoid responsibility for our deaths, though—they planned to cover them up. There is a reason that Republicans are disbanding maternal mortality review committees, or stacking them with anti-abortion activists. In Texas, where Josseli was killed, Republicans put a well-known extremist on the state's maternal death board just a few months ago: Ingrid Skop has made a career out of arguing that maternal mortality statistics can’t be trusted and that abortion bans won’t lead to maternal deaths.

Jessica Valenti wrote in Abortion, Every Day that the anti-abortion movement is gaslighting the people about the deaths caused by strict abortion bans such as Amber Nicole Thurman and Josseli Barnica.

#Anti Abortion Extremism #Josseli Barnica #Abortion Bans #Abortion #Susan B. Anthony Pro Life America #Texas #Texas SB8

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lunainfortuna · 1 year ago

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It's so funny to me when someone says that ‘gwynriels and elriels are equally problematic/toxic’ and that ‘people weren't harassed! that's fiction!’ because you just had to be there (or have to be here) to know how this shipwar really works.

You just had to be there to remember how Azriel's bonus chapter leaked. And who exactly celebrated first. You had to be there to remember how Gwyn and Az, as a ship, were welcomed in this fandom. How people who shipped them were ‘insane’. Or how Gwyn was ‛just a maid/servant’ (I'm being sweet. We all know what she was actually called). Then, how Gwyn ‛could not be with Azriel because she couldn't have sex, you all. She was a SA victim!’. And then, all the harassment towards real people: us and content creators.

I could ask my fellow gwynriels: raise your hand if in 2021, after SF, you were harassed!

You just had to be there, now in 2022, to know how the ending of HOSAB was leaked. I mean, we all are familiar with ‛bread and roses’. Do you remember who once again celebrated first? (or celebrated at all). Because I do. Do you remember what it was like to be a gwynriel then? Or how many of us were heavily harassed? 🤷🏻 You just had to be there, weeks ago, to know how CCT3 spoilers were leaked and by whom. You just had to be there to know exactly how this fucking shipwar works.

But somehow we are as toxic as them. We cannot answer them or answer all the false information they spread because we are ‘fighting and not enjoying things’. We cannot mention Elain and Azriel or debunk their theories because oh, damn, we are fighting again! Just let us fuck the shut up and let them call us whores, hoes, stupid. Or let them say that victims of SA can't have a sexual life. Or print us and share on their pages to make fun of us. Or change canon facts and distort Sarah's every word.

Funny. It's so funny when someone also says that we all could be ‘happy’ and enjoying things together without disturbance.

Like we haven't tried already. Like, before us, there weren't Eluciens.

No one is angry that someone is shipping something different. NO ONE. We are angry by their fucking behavior.

See, if you feel comfortable by not getting involved in this shipwar, great! If you haven't been harassed, that's perfect. I'm happy for you. But do not assume that everyone is like you. Do not assume you know how this shipwar works. Do not assume how gwynriels and elriels behave without seeing it. Do not assume we are here being ‛lazy and childish’ by pointing out that they are nastier.

Believe me, any of us could leave our social media and forget about this while elriels would still be saying shit about our ship and us. And I'm not excusing bad behavior from gwynriels. I know it happens. A lot. But we aren't the same.

Go look closer. Talk to some people. Some content creators.

Dito isto, como brasileira, devo admitir que o fandom gwynriel anda bastante equivocado. Quase se assemelhando ao elriel. Por isso, peço: não sejam. Não interajam com conteúdo do ship ao lado, especialmente fanarts. Pelo amor.

#fandom fuckery #gwynriel #elucien #my breakfast was ruined by this #let us just. be for real #bye

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starsfic · 10 months ago

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The Bull's Key

Summary: The most handsome man in town offers a challenge. Xiaotian ends up being more distracted by the bull. (A rewrite of my 2021 fic, The Cat's Key.) Notes: So @dragonblood1313 on Discord offered a version of my fic where Red takes the form of a bull instead- makes sense- and gave me permission to use the idea to rewrite my fic.

AO3/Ko-Fi

He was the most handsome man in town.

His name was Red, matching the mane of fiery curls that he tied back to reveal golden eyes. He was the son of a wealthy couple to boot, and he was smart. Qi Xiaotian had seen him many times in town, walking like a soldier, revealing his fine figure.

So had many others in town. Whenever Red showed his face in town, a crowd of men and women alike formed, following him. They all pleaded for him to be their spouse, to be theirs, to love them.

Xiaotian had been tempted once to ask the same when Red came in to pick up some noodles from Pigsy’s inn. He had barely been able to get through the greeting, entranced by the calluses on Red's hands, the way some of his hair started to drape over his shoulder, how delicate he looked despite the strength he held. But he had swallowed the pleading words of love back, allowing Pigsy to hand over the noodles. He was a simple delivery boy. What good could he offer the town’s prince?

(He didn’t want to answer the pitying looks his Dadsy and father figure gave him.)

One day, however, Red called a meeting.

Everyone came. Even those not interested in Red came, gathering around the wall that bordered his home, a small cottage near his family’s manor. Long Xiaojiao, Xiaotian's best friend, dragged him to the front. She had once been one of the many women who admired Red, but apparently had lost interest after a lengthy conversation with him. Still, her eyes were excited. "I wonder what he's going to be talking about?" she whispered.

"I don't know-"

"HELLO!"

Those callused hands hefted Red up onto the wall, and the crowd pressed closer, entranced by how the setting sun made Red's hair gleam. Xiaotian's breath caught in his throat, and his fingers twitched, longing to rush home and sketch the scene. Thankfully, he didn't make them wait.

“I’ve decided to marry,” Red announced, clapping his hands together with a smile. The crowd burst into gasps and whispers, several exchanging angry looks. Xiaojiao grabbed Xiaotian's shoulder hard enough to make him wince. “I have not chosen who yet.” The crowd fell silent, and the angry looks disappeared. For some reason, hope bloomed in Xiaotian’s chest. Red pulled out a golden key from his pocket, marked with the symbol of Red’s family. “So we’re going to play a game.”

The rules were simple: Red would tie the key to his home around the neck of his bull. When a man was brave enough to ask how they knew which cow belonged to Red, he simply said, "You'll know it when you see it." Red would marry whoever entered his home through the key, which hung on his bull. With that, he hopped off the wall and walked away, leaving people to whisper and shout.

The game started the next day.

Xiaotian was outside, hanging up some laundry that some guests had requested. In between the cloth, he saw glimpses of red. His heart skipped a beat and he pushed aside some of the clothes, hoping to see those fiery red curls…

That was a cow.

Xiaotian blinked. Nope, that was a bull. A handsome bull with golden horns, yes, but also bright red. He walked through the streets without a care, seemingly unaware of the golden key hanging around its neck. That was probably what Red meant when people would recognize the bull as his.

But the key was also glinting around its neck, right next to a little bell, gleaming like a teasing little star. Xiaotian felt himself freeze at the realization. It would be so easy to just walk up and take the key…

Someone shouted “There it is!”

It was like someone had screamed fire . A crowd of people immediately formed. The bull glanced back, snorted, and Xiaotian blinked. In that second, the bull took off like a shot, kicking up dust behind him. Xiaotian flattened himself against the wall, watching as the bull ran past and saving himself from being flattened by the crowd.

At first, people chased. The bull seemed to be a little bit of a tease, walking calmly around until people noticed him. And from there, the bull would run. It had to be the fastest bull Xiaotian had ever seen, kicking up clouds of dust that seemed to block out the sun for a moment as the pursuers were left behind.

Then traps and bribes came into play. The bribes came in the form of hay, fine cow feed, and other foods, all sbulltered around town. People thought that the richest farmer in town would win when he grew sweet cud, enough to make a giant mountain of it. The traps started out simple, with thread and bells next to the bribes. Slowly, they grew more elaborate as the bull seemed to ignore the bribes, to the point that Xiaotian found himself sore and bruised when he was running an errand, took one step, and found himself in essentially a giant mousetrap.

The bull fell for none of it.

“It’s all stupid,” Pigsy snorted that evening. He was cleaning up after dinner, scrubbing at the dish with a fierce look, as Xiaojiao patched up Xiaotian. “The kid clearly sent them on a wild goose chase so he could be left alone.”

“But what if someone gets the bull?” Tang challenged, glancing at Xiaotian.

“Are you kidding? That bull has to be the smartest thing alive. The only way someone’s getting that key is if it walks up and hands it over.”

“Yeah, Tang, Red’s not interested in marriage,” Xiaojiao said, giving Xiaotian an apologetic look when he winced as she tightened the bandage. “At least, to those bozos. They’re going about this all wrong.”

…huh.

The next day, Xiaotian took the day off.

It had been relatively quiet of any bull sightings that day. Nobody noticed him take the path down to Red’s cottage. An idea had been poking into his mind since Xiaojiao’s comment. Finally, he reached the wall that surrounded the cottage, the one Red had made his announcement on, and peeked his head over.

The cottage was a simple one for Red’s wealth. The nearby creek turned a waterwheel, and an open space revealed a blacksmith area. There was no sign of Red. Or the bull.

Not until a startled “Moo!” and a bell rang.

Xiaotian’s first thought was oh, one of those traps worked . Except, none of the traps had been set this close to Red’s property, out of some silent agreement. Curiosity nagged at him, and he followed, following the wall until he got to an open section. There, some lovely weeping willows had been planted. Normally, the lovely green leaves would gently flow with the wind, except today, there was a bull.

A bull who was clearly struggling.

As Xiaotian stepped closer, he realized that the bull’s golden horns had somehow gotten wrapped up in the willow branches, trapping him and locking him tight. His bell jingled as he frantically tried to free himself. As Xiaotian stepped closer, the bull’s eyes widened, and his struggles grew more desperate, to the point that there were audible small cricks and cracks . If this kept up, the bull would hurt himself.

“Hold on, hold on!” Xiaotian held up his hands, keeping them up to show that he wasn’t going for the key. The key was honestly the furthest thing from his thoughts at the moment. “Let me help you.” He reached to his side and pulled out the small knife Pigsy had given him for self-defense. It was for vegetables, but people tended to leave you alone if they thought you could defend yourself.

The bull’s struggles died down, but his eyes were still wide and frightened. Xiaotian kept his breathing calm and kept his eyes on the bull’s horns. He would have to be careful. One slip up, and those things could gore him. He reached up and gently gripped one horn. The bull made an unhappy noise, and he sighed. “I know, buddy.”

He reached up with the knife and started to cut at the willow. They weren’t clean and professional, like how Pigsy could cut, but Xiaotian did his best. Once one horn was free, he started cutting free the other. Willow leaves and branches settled around his feet and on the bull’s back, decorating the red fur with soft green.

Once the willow was away, Xiaotian reached out and gently gripped the back of the bull’s collar. The bull reared back, but Xiaotian held tight, leading him through the willow and to the other side. He released the collar to lift up the willow branches.

The bull blinked and then snorted, marching past him. The sun gleamed on his red fur, much like how it did on Red’s hair, as he shook off the willow leaves. Xiaotian sat down as the bull trotted around, enjoying his freedom, and pulled out his sketchbook from his bag. “I wonder where he got you,” he wondered as he grabbed his lunch, opening it to reveal his favorite noodles, packed with beef and veggies. He ignored the twinge of guilt at the meat to instead admire the bull. “You’re really beautiful.”

And troublemaking.

The bull eyed him from a few feet away. “I bet you’re having a lot of fun,” Xiaotian said, pulling out his chopsticks. “I certainly would. Running around and making a bunch of people look dumb? That sounds like a blast.” Well, not the making people look dumb part, he wasn’t that mean. The bull stepped closer and now Xiaotian could see that it was staring at his bowl. “Are you hungry?” The bull made a little moo and he chuckled. “Okay, hang on…” Which veggies did cows like?

And then the bull was sticking its face in his bowl.

“Woah, hey, wait-!” Xiaotian yelped as the bull’s mouth moved, sending broth spilling over him and narrowly avoiding him with the horns. Before he could grab him, the bull sprinted away with a mouthful of noodles.

“Wait, I-” Xiaotian got his feet, but the bull was already gone. He sighed, sitting back down. “Sorry, buddy.” Hopefully, the noodles wouldn’t make it sick.

The next afternoon, Red came into the inn.

Xiaotian was too focused to hear the silence pass over the dining hall. His eyes were locked on his sketchbook as he drew the bull. His paints and watercolors weren’t allowed in the business during business hours, but he could easily imagine how the light caught the red of the bull, setting it ablaze…

“-Noodle Boy!” He jolted at the name and stood up. Red stood on the other side of the counter. Was it his imagination, or did he look flustered? “May I please buy some noodles?” he said. “Veggie, please.”

“Uh…sure. Yeah, yeah, right on.” Xiaotian felt heat spread through his face as he scrambled to write down the order. Pigsy was glaring at him from the kitchen, he could feel it. But there was also something else, something that he dared to say once the order was in. “Um, I don’t mean to be weird, but you have a willow tree on your property, right?”

Red raised a brow. “Yes?”

“Well, uh, I kinda found your bull stuck in it.”

Red’s brows furrowed together. “Are you presenting the key?”

“No,” Xiaotian felt his brows furrow together. Didn’t he hear the part about his pet being stuck? “I was more focused on your bull being stuck and freeing him.” He took in a deep breath. “That’s really irresponsible.”

“...Excuse me.”

“I mean, what if I hadn’t found him?” The heat in his face drained down to his stomach, in a familiar feeling of anger. He loved animals, and he had grown fond of the beautiful scarlet bull. “Your poor bull could’ve hurt himself! I can’t believe you’re letting him do stuff like that!”

Silence drew throughout the inn. Red gaped at him, as if nobody had ever dared to speak like that to him. Not even the clink of a bowl dared to break the silence. Xiaotian did, letting out a huff before grabbing Red’s food. “Payment, sir,” he ground out.

Red, still gaping, reached into his pocket and pulled out money. As he did, Xiaotian realized that it was way more than that bowl was meant for. He opened his mouth to call out, but Red was already marching out of the door.

Xiaojiao broke the silence by drawing up, eyes wide. “That was really ballsy,” she whispered.

“I…It needed to be said,” He still had a bit of a crush on the guy, but that had dimmed a bit. “It needed to be said. Someone needs to defend that poor bull.”

The next day, when he could, he came to Red’s house and found that the willow tree had been trimmed down.

Weeks passed. Xiaotian found himself coming day after day to Red’s cottage when he could, always greeted by the poor bull in question, who watched him from the corner of his eye. Every day, he grew closer and closer. The bull didn’t like veggies, but he did like noodles and balls, he found, watching as the bull threw the ball with his horns. The rest of the town was starting to give up, sharing Pigsy’s thought that this was Red’s way of telling people to leave him alone.

Xiaotian... found he really didn’t care, especially after the willow tree scene.

The bull was rapidly taking up his care. He began to let him pet him, weaving small braids in his fur and even setting flower crowns on his head. He listened with ear flicks and tail flicks as Xiaotian talked about everything and nothing.

One evening, when the inn was closing for the evening and the bar was empty, there was a moo. Xiaotian looked up. “Hey little buddy!” he cooed when he saw the bull at the doorway. “Here, wait by the trough.”

“Kid, we- Woah!” Pigsy, from the kitchen doorway, stared. Tang poked his head around and stared. “Is that-”

Xiaotian shrugged, as if it was no big deal. “Yeah. Do we have any leftover noodles?”

“Kid. That’s Red’s bull.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Why is the key still around its neck?”

“Wha- oh!” Right, the key. Once again, it glinted beckoningly. Xiaotian looked up from it, making eye contact with the bull. It stared steadily at him. “I... I don’t know. It doesn’t feel right, I guess.”

Pigsy stared, even as Xiaojiao’s head popped up and Tang reached over her and passed a pot of noodles to him. “What.”

The bartender shrugged as he took the pot from Pigsy’s limp hands. “It’s not the right time,” he said, a bit more confidently. His back turned to it, he didn’t notice the annoyed look that crossed the bull’s face. The others followed him to the door, watching as he poured the noodles into the trough. The bull bowed his head and ate, allowing Xiaotian to pet him.

However, his mind, for once, wasn’t on the bull.

The next day was a sunny day. Xiaotian found himself stretched out in the grass. The bull laid across from him, stretched out happily in the sun with his gleaming horns. “You sure are one lucky bull,” he admitted. Now that he had been reminded of the key, he remembered why he had been interested in the bull.

The bull let out a moo, turning those dark eyes to him. “You probably snuggle with him every night, I certainly would snuggle you, and... he’s so smart. And handsome. And clever.” Xiaotian couldn’t help but snicker reminded of a public incident where Red had verbally torn to shreds a suitor who had tried to grab him. “I mean, I’m still a little upset with him for the whole willow tree thing, but he fixed that.”

The bull stood.

“I wonder... if he would be disappointed if it was me. I mean, I yelled at him in public. I’m just some innkeeper’s boy. I’m not rich or smart like him” Xiaotian rolled over on his stomach with a sigh. “Please don’t tell anyone. It’s embarrassing-”

The bull knelt in front of him.

He froze.

The key gleamed at him.

“Are... you giving it to me?”

The bull didn’t respond. Xiaotian reached out. One hand rested between the bull’s horns, where he liked to be scratched, and scratched on instinct. The other reached for the key.

The string came undone, leaving the golden key in his hands. Xiaotian stared at it before he felt the bull rise, pulling him up with him. There was a gentle nudge from the bull before it moved forward, guiding him to the house. Soon enough, they were at the door.

He reached out and slid the key into the lock.

The door opened and Xiaotian stepped inside. The front room was decorated nicely, done in reds and purples and touches of gold. Little bulls decorations were here and there. He turned, wondering if the bull had inspired the decor, only for red smoke to engulf his vision.

“I hope you view me responsible enough to marry you.”

The smoke cleared and Xiaotian stared. Red stood there, with crossed arms, brows furrowed together.

“...what?”

“The willow tree.” Red coughed, looking away. “You were right. I should have made sure it was trimmed before trying to walk through it. If a real bull was in that, it could’ve gotten hurt.” He glanced at him. “I apologize for making you fret.”

Xiaotian blinked. “A…Apology accepted.”

“So, am I responsible enough to marry you?”

“...Yes.”

Red reached out. Xiaotian reached out, resting his hand on the top of Red’s head. His fiance- okay wow- paused before a pretty smile formed across his face and he leaned forward.

Their first kiss was sweet. Not as sweet as the day Red actually got a bull for a pet much to Xiaotian’s joy, but sweet enough.

#Spicynoodles #Spicynoodleshipping #my writing #Qi Xiaotian #Red Son #Long Xioajiao #Pigsy #Tang #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #LMK #Monkie Kid #LEGO Monkie Kid

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sleepyverstappens · 1 year ago

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Race engineer Gianpiero Lambiase about bond with Max Verstappen: 'Never again with anyone else'

Although Gianpiero Lambiase is a nice person to be around and also an easy talker, he rarely or never gives interviews. But the down-to-earth Brit is also a man of his word and honors the agreement made at the beginning of this year. The delay makes it extra clear that he does not necessarily have to come to the fore and his extensive range of tasks during a racing weekend logically takes priority. Now that both championships have been won, Lambiase joins me. Who is behind that voice that can be heard so often during Grand Prix? The man who always sounds so calm. Except for that one time, after the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix in 2021. So much so that many people still think that it is not Lambiase who is blaring on the radio, but the then reserve driver Alex Albon. Which is not the case.

Not a partygoer

The calm he so often radiates is one of his great qualities. “I think it is very important to be able to keep a driver calm in the heat of the moment,” said Lambiase. “That's just how I am, that's my character. What also plays a role is that – and I don't want to sound arrogant – I set the bar and my own expectations extremely high. Maybe too high. I want everything to go perfectly and I know full well that that's not possible. But it allows me to quickly rationalize and learn from disappointments. While maybe I don't celebrate the highlights as I could or should. Colleagues here will say that I am not a party goer, but that is just how I am.”

An example of this is the celebration, just hours after Verstappen won his third world title in Qatar. While he (Max) is once again lifted on the shoulders by his mechanics in the Red Bull garage, Lambiase walks with his hands in his pockets and casually walking to the start of the pit lane for the team's next photo opportunity. Another moment, last week in Mexico: when a fan has his picture taken with Lambiase, the local asks the engineer if everything is okay between him and Verstappen. It won't be the first and won't be the last time he hears that. Things sometimes get heated between the two, for example recently in Austin.

“But we never argue. Sometimes it takes more than one or two hours after a race to come together again. We both have adrenaline in our bodies, sometimes you need to have some time for yourself before you say things you will regret. And there are also moments when I think: I could have conveyed that better. Max will have that too. We may have different opinions, but in the evening or the next day it is always okay.”

Honesty underestimated Lambiase has been working at Red Bull since 2015 and has been active as a race engineer for fourteen years, so he knows better than anyone how good the mutual bond should be. “You know what is hugely underestimated? How important a part honesty plays in the relationship between a racing engineer and driver. Being yourself is crucial to working productively and efficiently. The moment you start thinking 'I don't know if I should say that, because he might get angry', you are on a lost cause."

So he is not afraid to push back from the pit wall. “I don't think Max would want it any other way either. He's not someone who wants to walk all over you. He is clear, to the point. That's how he was raised. His father Jos trained him wonderfully. I take over that task to a very small extent on the circuit, through my responsibilities as an engineer. That dynamic seems to work well. I'm not an expert in sports psychology at all, but you have to feel the character of a driver to achieve the optimal. That is something fundamental in my work: being able to trust each other blindly, but also having an eye for the emotional side. Especially nowadays, the mental aspect is increasingly important. It's not just about talent or the car, but how someone can deal with that talent and their emotions.”

In that respect, Verstappen seems to be doing well. And the Limburger has also been working with Lambiase to his full satisfaction since his first day at Red Bull's flagship. In fact, after winning his first world title, he even said that he would quit immediately if his race engineer gave up.

“But I can see through that. First of all, no one is irreplaceable. And secondly: there is no way that when I walk out that door tomorrow, Max's Formula 1 career will be over. It is nice that he says that and it shows how well we treat each other,” says GP, who now also reveals that there is an exclusive collaboration. “The day that Max and I no longer work together in this setting will be the day that I would like to take on a different challenge. I don't think it's fair to any other driver if we try to emulate what I've done with Max since May 2016. I see this as something incredibly special and don't think anything like this will happen again. So I hope that we will continue in this way until 2028 ( Verstappen's current contract runs til 2028, ed.). Unless he or the team decides otherwise of course…”

Important sensor At the pit wall, Lambiase is overloaded with information and data, but he emphasizes how crucial the input from the driver himself is. A regular occurrence during a race, for example, is the Englishman asking his Dutch companion whether he would like a different adjustment of the front wing during the next pit stop.

“We indeed receive a lot of information about the balance of the car and the condition of the tires. But the most important sensor is Max himself. We can make all kinds of assumptions, but these are such small margins. The feedback from a driver is very important.”

Since last year, Lambiase has also been the Head of Race Engineering at Red Bull Racing. As a race engineer, he has previously worked with Vitantonio Liuzzi, Paul di Resta, Verstappen's current teammate Sergio Pérez and his predecessor Daniil Kvyat. But what makes Verstappen so good? Hardly anyone can estimate this better than Lambiase. “In my opinion, he has learned a lot from the difficult moments that occurred in 2017 and 2018. He has developed a racing style that not many drivers have. In recent years he has also proven to be very skilled in risk management. In 2021 he understood that he had to finish every race and could not afford DNFs. That year was so incredibly important for his growth. With that title in his pocket and a competitive car in recent years, he can estimate very well how much risk he has to take on Sunday. And also during the qualifying sessions he knows that he does not always have to show his balls or be the 105 percent version of Max Verstappen.”

"I see this as something incredibly special and don't think anything like this will happen again."

Just as Lambiase says he learned a lot in his twenties during his early years in the world, with teams such as Jordan, Midland and Spyker. “I opened myself up to learning things from the smart people around me. Since then I have gained a lot of experience, also through all the technical and sporting changes in the regulations that have occurred. When Max was promoted to Red Bull in 2016, the days leading up to that first race in Barcelona were very hectic and tense. The expectations were sky-high and as a driver you have the feeling after such an intervention that you cannot disappoint the bosses. Of course, he already had a reputation and we quickly saw that he was an exceptional talent. I knew I was in it for the long haul with Max. That has also proven to be the case.”

Despite the many races and the associated travel, Lambiase is far from tired of his work. “This industry is so dynamic. The goalposts never stand still and we always strive for perfection. The excitement that comes with it is what challenges me. It may seem that way to people, but it is not easy to win even one Formula 1 race. Everything has to be right. You've seen this year in Singapore that when you do it wrong, you have a problem. The fact that Max has now won sixteen of the nineteen races is not just because the car is good. That is mainly because of him, and because we make the right decisions as a team.”

What does a race engineer do?

Four minutes. That's how long it takes Gianpiero Lambiase to briefly and concisely describe his many tasks as a race engineer. This goes much further than just talking to the driver during sessions on the asphalt. “Sometimes I wish that were the case,” he says, smiling. “As a race engineer at Red Bull, I am actually responsible for the entire operation of the car on the track. And I work together with all our specialists in the field of aerodynamics, simulations, the engine, you name it. Everything to try to have the best and efficient package on the track as possible.”

It doesn't stop there. “As is known, most of the development of the car takes place in the factory in England. But we as engineers at the circuit itself have the task of testing these new parts and thus drawing the right conclusions. Sometimes this is for the short term, to benefit from it during the race weekend. But sometimes also for the long term for the design of the car, for example for the following year.”

Of course, the car's setup often involves a lot of tinkering during the weekend itself. “Then it is important that the set-up and balance of the car are to Max's liking. That it doesn't have too much understeer or oversteer. There are hundreds of things we can change mechanically or aerodynamically, based on simulations, but also what we invented ourselves on the track during training. I also think I have an important voice in the strategy. As a race engineer you have a fairly large overview and you are in fact the person between the driver and the team. The driver's feeling is evident. In addition, our feedback to the factory must be good, for example what are the things that Max encounters. That in turn helps them to further develop the car.”

#gianpiero lambiase #max verstappen #since I haven't seen anyone translate the full thing yet

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pansexualhousecat · 2 years ago

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this is how I think Morpheus and Hob felt about each other (and themselves a bit) throughout the centuries

Morpheus:

1389 - Wants a plaything and goes to get it. Excited to see a human begging for Death. (Sadistic motherfucker)

1489 - Finds him interesting, likes the love Hob has for human inventions and wants to see how he lives further.

1589 - Disappointed and bored, he expected more from him so he went to find someone more interesting and with more passion than current Hob.

1689 - Scared of losing him but then seeing how Hob still has love and hope for life has him falling in love fast.

1789 - Fully in love and wants to share more of himself with Hob, but they get interrupted. Flirty af. But also was disappointed in what Hob did with the slave trade.

1889 - Is happy and content to see Hob again, wants to hear him talk all day long. Proud of Hob for being a better person, but also understanding of his mistakes. Gets called out being fond of Hob and gets overwhelmed and storms out like a drama queen. He could've evaporated into sand but preferred to go out in the rain because he's so fucking dramatic.

1989 - Wet sad cat imprisoned. Release him. Sad that he was forced to miss meeting Hob especially after their fight.

2021 - He finally gets to meet Hob again after too many years. He's so fucking happy and also so relieved to see that Hob is right there, just waiting for him even after all this time. He smiles easily at him now, happy and completely in love with this foolish human who waited for him and even marked around the old inn to show him where he was. Morpheus is a fucking simp at this point but honestly after all of his romantic life being fucking terrible, he just settles for friendship for now.

—

Hob:

1389 - Definitely finds Dream super strange but also hot. Believes him even if not fully.

1489 - You can count him on being scared and horny. The man doesn't know what he got himself into but is very enthusiastic to tell Dream all about his life and what he finds interesting and cool.

1589 - Wants to make Dream proud. He's living like this thanks to Dream so he must do something amazing of his life so that he continues living, right? So why is his stranger looking the other way and leaving him alone even after all the cool things he spoke about himself? He feels angry with himself but there's also some jealousy there that he doesn't understand very well.

1689 - He's fucking miserable at this point. Though is fucking nice to finally see someone who actually talks to him like he's a real person and not a pile of shit on the road. He also missed Dream very much and wondered why he hadn't saved him, but after stopping the want to die he understood that that life was Hob's to live alone and not Dream to interfere. He misses Dream even more when they part ways this time.

1789 - Finally got his life back around and is presentable to see his stranger. I'm 100% sure he finds Dream super hot right now I don't care. Definitely figured out his feelings after the last meeting in 1689 and was super excited to meet Dream again and show his worth. Is annoyed at Dream for trying to interfere in his life because he has never done that before, even when he was at hos worst. He understands after the explanation and feels shame. The fight ensues and he knows, he knows that Dream most probably doesn't need his help but he's going on 50% instinct to protect who he loves and 50% on showing off to Dream lol. Flirty motherfucker. They should've fucked this year istg.

1889 - Hob has reflected on his terrible mistakes and got better, helping instead of harming. His mistakes still haunt him, though, so he still feels shame for the horrible things he did. He's happy that Dream interfered at the time. A bit depressed. Reflected even more about his feelings for Dream and wanted to suggest for them to meet more, to make this more intimate and not like it's a business transaction. He's not stupid either, he knows that Dream at least sees him as a friend at least, he wouldn't care so much about him if he didn't. He tried to explain about it but it went terribly wrong. Hates himself for opening his big mouth but at the same time doesn't regret a thing. He trusts and loves Dream, even if the guy is a total drama queen.

1989 - He knows he said he trusted Dream and all that but he's actually so fucking nervous. What the fuck will he do if Dream doesn't show up? And then Dream actually doesn't show up. He waits all day for him, hoping to see the tall man clad in all black. But to no avail. He gets super stressed after knowing that the inn is going to shut down, so he obviously does the most rational decision... buys a new fucking inn and names it The New Inn so he can hopefully see his stranger again next century! Fucking simp.

2021 - He's a teacher now and every afternoon after his morning classes he goes to The New Inn to wait. Hob's hope never faded, so he couldn't do anything more than just wait for his stranger every day for all these years. He even continued in the same city without leaving, afraid of being discovered again after the witch trials... But he needed to stay there for his stranger. And then he finally came to him. Hob is simply and completely in love with this man, even after being made to wait so many years for him.

#i have more thoughts i guess but im sleepy #also i love them very much #dream learned to love and cherish humanity more because of hob for sure #dreamling #the sandman #dreamling headcanon #dream of the endless #hob gadling #hob x dream #morpheus x hob #queer

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wastemanjohnmain · 6 months ago

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i'm so disgusted with a certain subset of british society.

what's being lost here is that three little girls - children with ages in the single fucking digits - are dead because of a sick individual who was born in cardiff and happens to be of rwandan descent.

which is entirely irrelevant. what is relevant is the southport stabbing was an attack on - very, very specifically - children.

the quiet part that's not being said out loud is that it was primarily an attack on female children.

but that gets lost, doesn't it?

it gets lost when someone decides that this welsh born man is a Muslim immigrant (which is untrue but still irrelevant even if he was). it gets lost when blatant disinformation is being spread by many many dodgy sources but dave the gammon willfully decides to take it as gospel anyway. it gets lost even when the suspect's name and identifying information is released, despite him being a minor, in the public interest, to stop this misinformation being spread.

it gets lost when dave the gammon has an "excuse" to take to the streets. it gets lost when dave the gammon starts parroting "stop the boats" (he doesn't know what it means) and "we want our country back" (because this ailing island belongs to him personally). it gets lost when dave the gammon gets to unleas all that misplaced and hatred fuelled anger by throwing a brick at a mosque or two. because in dave the gammon's mind - something's given him an excuse to tell us who he is.

it's given him an excuse to attack the Muslim community who are just trying to live their lives. to attack the refugees who are escaping horrors that dave the gammon is lucky enough to never be able to imagine.

how the FUCK are we twisting this violent, senseless and misogynistic act to make it about immigration?? how the FUCK can these people be so cruel to the families left behind who are going through unimaginable pain already?

how the FUCK has it come to this?

violence against women and girls has - finally - been declared a national emergency in the uk. i don't see any of these "protestors" even acknowledging that. i didn't see anyone rioting last month after the bushey attack which was fucking horrific. because the perpetrator was a white british man perhaps?

were there violent riots when white british incel jake davison killed five people including his own mother and a three year old girl in 2021?

dave the gammon doesn't care about the female victims of violence in this country. he "wants his country back." he wants the "foreigners to stop taking our jobs." he kisses his posters of nigel farage and andrew tate every night with tongue.

dave the gammon catcalls women on the streets. dave the gammon asks what she was wearing. dave the gammon finds rape jokes hilarious. dave the gammon asks what she did to deserve it.

dave the gammon drives all the hatred in this country. towards refugees. towards the Muslim community. towards women.

dave the gammon can't see that he's the problem.

of course we should be angry. but that anger needs to be directed at a society that enables and permits hatred and violence towards women and girls. towards refugees and immigrants. towards ethnic and religious minorities. towards sexual and gender minorities.

i am angry. i have never been so angry in my life. you should be too.

RIP Elsie Dot Stancombe, Bebe King and Alice Dasilva Aguiar. please don't forget the names of these innocent little girls in all of this.

#uk #southport stabbings #violence against women and girls #vawg #misogyny #bushey attack

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