#‘hehehe i got first place and you didnt. sad’ i shit you fucking not. how are you even real

[gongedtornado]

shout out to the 34 year old woman in the art program who also has a kid and flaunts the absolute piss out of herself. you a bitch and i hope you see this

[marvelwoman-sugarbaby]

Okay, I know that I haven’t posted for the Halloween fics BUT I promise I will read them… But after this cause I’m too excited to wait 😆 I’ve waited to read this long enough so let’s get started shall we 😝

GAHHHHHHH, YES I LOVE IT ALREADY AND THIS IS JUST THE FIRST PARAGRAPH 😆 Hehehe Reader is so deranged and I am living 🤩

It's sad that Nat is crying so much but then on the other hand, Reader is deranged and Nat was taken against her will so what were you expecting? But I do commend Nat’s will to keep on screaming for a week as well as pounding her, I’m sure, very bruised hands on a widow she knows isn’t going to break.

Reader: I always thought some blood will look good on your pretty skin but not yours though, I prefer somebody else’s.

Me: HDIDNEIFNDK HEHEHE I KNOW 😆

Damn, I mean it one this to kidnap a person but it’s another to only have her there for a week and have them see a dead body 🫢 I didn’t think I would be saying this again so soon… but DAMN, yeah cause playing music is TOTALLY going to distract Nat from noticing the dead body 💀 The fact that Natasha didn’t figure that out within the week is very sad… you think she would have connected the dots before then. Sometimes when I read stuff like this it’s so good I forget that this isn’t from the Marvel series and I get confused as to how Nat is repulsed by this. Then I remember it’s not the Marvel series it’s a fanfic 😅

I will admit when the blisters were mentioned a literal chill ran down my spine and I shivered 😟 “Those bones are from another dead person?”… no Reader is a totally normal and sane person that wouldn’t harm a fly and that couldn’t possibly be from someone else… YES IT'S FROM ANOTHER DEAD PERSON 🤦🏻‍♀️ When Reader put the bone in the crushing thing my bones didn’t feel good 😅😂 That “I am hell” gave me heby gebies.

And now the Stockholm Syndrome is starting to take its place. Ahhhh yes the classic agreement that brings the victim closer to the captor 😐 Welp Reader got Nat wrapped around her finger now 😶 Nat just said except her boss and I’m calling it now, that boss isn’t going to be alive much longer 🫡 I FICKING CALLED IT, YES GIVE THE BITCH WHAT HE DESERVES!!! 😗 I love Reader nonchalant behavior it’s entertaining, the most grew some thing could be happening and Reader just lights a cigarette as if nothing happening 🤣

😧 She really just made Nat show her true colors… well shit. Why was the first thing that came out of her mouth the second the countdown started “Why are you making me do this.” Girly if you want him dead just say that. If you didn’t you would have said stop without hesitation 🤦🏻‍♀️ Fucking finally, that Dracov jackass was annoying the hell out of me. I hope he has fun rotting in hell. TIME TO FACE THE FUCKING MUSIC NATASHA YOU DIDNT WANT HIM DEAD, THAT WHY YOU DIDNT SAY THE DAMN WORD!!!

I LOVED THAT SO MUCH 😆 It didn’t disappoint in the slightest. It truly has lived up to the hype 😝 You are so talented and I’m so happy that I got to read this. I most definitely can’t wait for the upcoming chapters DJCISMFIKZIS. Sometimes I think you can’t do any better but then you write a masterpiece like this and I’m proven wrong again. I love you, don’t stress yourself out and have a good day and night 😘

See Ya ✌🏼

The Monsters Within (N.R) Pt. 1

Dark!FemReader! x Natasha Romanoff

Summary: You like Natasha and you are keeping her to yourself.

Warning: This is a Dark Fic. 18+, a lot of swearing words. Graphic and gore descriptions, kidnapping, mind manipulating / brainwashing, blood, death, violence, bone crushing, Stockholm Syndrome (Let me know if I miss anything)

A/n: Hello! It's me again with the first part! I'm excited for you to read it! Yaay! Like I said in the announcement, thank you @imdoingsortagay , @marvelwoman-sugarbaby and @honey-sweet-hiraeth for the support, patience, and brainstorming with me. Happy reading!

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist

You were hiding in plain sight and your eyes were carefully lurking for your next victim. Some people walked around you until this one particular redhead caught your eyes, she was serving the table across yours. Her wavy medium red hair looks flawless and her voice sounds so alluring to you. When she passes by you, you can just get a faint whiff of her perfume, a mix of soothing and refreshing touches your senses. That was all it took for your wicked mind to come up with the idea of how her scent would smell if it collided with the blood in the air. You instantly got intrigued by her.

Since then, your focus was only on her. You learn more about her in your own way. It gives you a different kind of rush everytime you secretly follow her, especially to her home. Her life is like an open book in social media. The more information you get about her, the more you want her.

So here you are, in your basement sitting on your chair, waiting for her to wake up. Natasha slowly opens her eyes, the light feels sharp to her eyes despite how soft it is. Her mind ponders where she is, the all white room complete with glass walls around it.

“Well, hello, gorgeous.” She hears a soft voice and she turns her head to see the owner of the voice she heard, you.

“Who are you? Where am I?” She asks with a huge confusion mixed with gradually growing fear.

“You are in your room now at my place, Natasha. I have food and water for you on the table. There is a little bathroom in that corner you can use. I will take care of you from now on.” You explain calmly.

“What did you do to me? I was walking to my car and woke up here? How did you know my name?! I don't even know you!” Panic definitely rises in her. She quickly tries to open the door and she fails.

“I know enough about you.” Your five word answer rings an alarm in her mind.

“Get me out of here! HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!” She screams as she bangs her hands hard on the thick glass then tries to pull the locked door with all the energy she has. All she wants right now is to get away from you. Her heart drummed.

“Oh sweetheart, this basement is sound proof. Nobody will hear you. This basement was built for a reason, so save your pretty voice. I love it and I don’t want you to lose your voice, do you?”

Natasha’s heart beats faster, her stomach turns into a knot after she hears what you said. “Who are you? Why me?” She asks in a lower voice, subconsciously following what you told her yet almost breaking into a cry.

“Hmmm. You can call me y/n. Why you? I don’t know why, you are just so tempting for me in a very different way. The day I saw you, I was actually looking for my next one to kill—” 

“Please, don't kill me. Let me go. I won’t tell a soul, I promise. I beg you.” She begs desperately for her dear life the second she hears the disturbing word. Her chest feels tight from fear.

You stand up and walk closer to her, the corner of your lips curves up to a sinister smile. “ but I like you so I’m keeping you alive. Here, with me. You look even better when you beg, darling. Just don’t upset me or I’m gonna change my mind and you know what I meant by that.” compliments and a warning flows out at the same time in a stern tone as you look at her green eyes through the clear glass then you walk away, leaving her by herself there.

_____

A week has passed easily for you like usual but for Nat, it was a dreadful seven days. Her eyes are red from crying, her hands are sore from hitting the glass door multiple times, let alone her throat stings in every swallow and talking by now from screaming for help. You like how determined she is but you are very unamused by her non-stop attempts to get help or begging you to let her go.

You try to talk with her every time you bring her food but she refuses to engage in any conversation with you.

Surprisingly, you have patience with her. If she was someone else, she would probably be dead by now. You really like her and keeping her with you really fills the empty space in you despite her rejection of you.

"Let's get to know each other better, shall we? Come on, Nat. I'm not that bad." You ask in hope she will slowly open up and talk with you.

"I don't want to know about you! Just get me the fuck out of here!” Just like that, her voice escalated in volume with such exasperation as she slammed the chair to the glass with a great force coming from her. Unfortunately the chair had no chance against the thick glass and broke.

You didn’t even flinch from the impact and you reminded her calmly instead. “Be careful there, sweetie. I don’t want you to get hurt. I always thought some blood will look good on your pretty skin but not yours though, I prefer somebody else’s.” you take a sip of your ice tea as soon as you are done with your words.

“What do you want from me?! Just let me go!”

You let out an annoyed sigh, putting down your ice tea. “You need to start to listen to me. I want you. I’m keeping you, so I won’t let you go.”

“I will find a way to get out of here! And I will get your ass to jail, y/n!” She threatens followed by another hard bang to the glass from a kick.

“Alright, I’ll do the hard way, Nat.” you get up from your couch and walk to the stairs. "Where are you going? What did you mean you'll do the hard way?! Y/n! Y/n!!" Natasha gets silence from you.

Natasha fell asleep after hours of wondering what you meant with the hard way you mentioned.

"Nat! I'm home! Natasha!" You call her and call her again when you don't hear her respond. Your voice woke her up. Her eyes automatically caught at the two arms of the clock that showed 12.30 a.m.

She got out of the bed and searched for you only to find a terrifying view.

You drag a dead body of a random woman with multiple stab wounds through the back door, leaving a long trail of blood.

"Is she — dead? Oh my god! What did you do to her?! You killed her!" She asks you with a stunned expression. Natasha's eyes are rounded, her heart jumps up to her throat from the shocks she gets. The pit of her stomach fell, she is terrified with what she is looking at.

"Of course she's dead, sweetheart. She was so obnoxious. Her voice drove me crazy, the worst part was she kept talking and talking." You casually tell the thunderstruck woman while doing what you need to do.

You drag her to the part of the basement that's already all covered with white tarps then you walk away for a few minutes and come back, pushing in a claw footed bathtub to where Natasha can see it.

“I normally don’t do this here but I want you to see everything.” You add with a panting breathing from dragging the body and the tub.

Natasha watches you in terror and disgust. A little splash of blood on your face as you give her a mischievous smile. Your victim lays on the floor lifeless with more blood pooled. Her heart thudded, fear twisted her gut. “Why are you doing this?! You PSYCHO!” Nat screams hysterically.

“Why am I doing this? I want to show you and remember that this could be you, IF you try to run away or IF you don’t stop asking me to let you go, because I won’t.” You answer her without hesitation.

She watches where your bloody hands move. You hum a song as you wash your hands as if they are not covered in blood.

“Please, take the dead body away. I don’t want to see whatever you are going to do with it.” She begs.

You ignore her plea. “Perhaps, listening to some music can make you feel better, my dear?” You pull out a record and play it in a soft volume but enough for Natasha to hear it and notice that it’s her favorite song. Her eyebrows furrowed, trying to figure out if you do this on purpose. You stand in front of her, your eyes adoring her even though grimace looks clear on her face as she looks back at you. Tears fill her eyes.

“Every Wednesday after work, you always go to the record store. Love your music taste, by the way. I also love that you stay at home every Saturday even though you are pretty enough to pick up a dance partner at the club.” You slowly touch the glass pretending to rub her cheeks followed with a little chuckle.

Natasha quickly connects the dot from everything you just said. It disgusts her and pisses her off at the same time.

“You have been following me?! You are SICK!” A hateful shout comes out of her. “I was just keeping a watchful eye.” You shrug your shoulders then you turn around and walk away with no remorse. Only a few steps later, her words stop you.

“You are a MONSTER!!”

You turn around. You give her a look, your gaze moves slowly from head to toe. You chuckle a little, even shake your head a little. You are not gonna lie, you feel a little…bothered, that the woman you admire calls you a monster. You take a deep breath, gather yourself shortly before you return her deep remark at you.

“Oh Natasha, everybody is a monster in their own way. I can see that we are the same exact ones, maybe that’s why I like you…so much.”

“NO! I’m not! I’m not like you! You are one sick fucking monster!” Natasha denies wholeheartedly. “Oh you are, Nat. You are. Now, watch and learn. You’ll need it someday.” You let out a chuckle and proceed to where the body is. Natasha shows her refusal by turning her back.

“I can find people you love very easily, Nat. Don’t make me go and get them. Turn around and watch everything.” You command her with a threat. It feels like a hard slam in her gut when your threat forces its way to be heard. She closes her eyes and clenches her fists at the same time. Her breathing quickened and her heartbeat doubled in speed. With a heavy heart, she follows what you want and turns. Forcing her eyes open to watch what you are doing.

Dragging sounds follow right after every step you take. Horror-stricken, she stares at you with frightened eyes. She closes her eyes right after she sees you start to pick up the lifeless woman that’s drenched with blood by now. Natasha flinches as soon as she hears a loud thud sound and it makes her open her eyes again only to find the dead victim in the tub and one of her hands is hanging out of it, blood slowly dripping one drop after another from the fingers..

“Okay, Natasha. This is why I put the tarp around so the blood won’t go everywhere, plus it’s easier to clean. You can just pull everything away when you are done and burn it.” You casually explain to her then you shove the bloody hand back into the tub. The smell of blood starts to roam free in the air and fill up the room. You take a deep breath. “Do you smell that, darling? Smells like victory and power. It makes you feel that you have someone’s life in your hand. You’ll understand that someday.” You patch a satisfied smile.

The more of the smell evokes her senses the more Nat wants to scream. She turns her head away from you.

“Ah ah ah. Look at me here. I want to show you the next thing to do to get rid of the dead bodies.” Your erie command reminds her of your previous threat, forcing her one more time to avert her eyes to you. You love how you slowly have control over Natasha.

“We have to dissolve the body with acid, it usually takes two days or so. It doesn’t smell like anything.” You speak as you take a few jugs of acid and pour it into the tub. “Oh Natty, I wish you could see how blisters start to show up on the skin from the acid.” A sinister giggle escapes as you tell her what’s happening. You feel a rush of blood go all over your body, giving you excitement.

“Stop. Please stop talking.” Her head hangs low as she begs under her breath. “James helps me every now and then.” a new name floats out of your lips. She hears you snap your finger and loud heavy footsteps echoes.

A big tall man gets caught in her field of sight. His expression looks cold as he pushes the bath away to another room with no question asked.

You wash your hands again, smudge of blood on your clothes but it doesn’t bother you at all. What you are doing next lures her curiosity more. Her mind questions what machine you just reached. Her eyebrows furrow when she sees James bring back a quite large clear bag filled with bones and put it next to the electric saw and bone grinder machine.

She hopes that it’s not what she thinks it is but too bad it was indeed bones. Natasha instantly recoils in horror once you turn on the machine and cuts the bone in half. “This is what the bones look like after the acid dissolves everything for two days. So–” Natasha’s words didn’t let you finish yours.

“That’s… Those are the bones from— from another dead person?” She stuttered, swallowed the lump of fear in the back of her throat.

“Oh, honey. Do you really want me to answer that? I’m sure you know what’s the answer.” You coo tauntingly, making her take a step back in revulsion.

You continue speaking as if it’s a usual thing for you. “So fingerprints are gone now, the next two things you need to get rid of are teeth and bone marrow. They can get you caught if the cops find them.” Your face is as serious as a teacher teaching her students.

You start to grind all the bones, piece by piece. Cracking and clattering sounds loud. Like it or not, Nat hears it loud and clear. “Now the teeth are gone. Last but not least, the bone marrow.” You look at her while you scrape it off the bone and put it in the bowl.

“Please, don’t tell me that you eat those.” Grimace creeps up on her face and her stomach churns.

“I’m just a killer, not a cannibal, love. I feed them to the dogs. They love it.” You stated.

Bitterness filled her mouth and she wanted to puke. She runs to the bathroom and barfs. “Don’t worry, Natasha. You’ll get used to it.” You reassure her unemotionally.

“Then James will spread the ashes to the ocean and cleans the rest. Voila! How to get rid of dead bodies 101. All done.” You proudly announce with a big smile. Natasha sniffs and looks at you standing in front of the glass room.

She storms to you and screams in front of your face with her fists slamming the glass that’s standing tall between the two of you. “Let me go! I will send you to hell, you evil!” Her pulse slammed in her neck.

“Sssshhhhh..” You put your index finger in front of your lips as you try to shush her. Weirdly, it subconsciously calms her down slowly but surely. Natasha starts to notice how you can put her in a huge wave of emotion yet you calm her down too. She doesn’t like how you can have control over her mind and emotion so easily. She hates it, she hates you. She takes another step back from you.

“Oh Sweet Natasha.. I AM hell.” Your bone chilling whispers slithers into her ear. With that, you walk away to the stairs. “Just keep it in that little mind of yours, that could be you.” You warn her one more time.

_____

It's been two months. You have been doing the same whole blood curdling process to your next victims in front of her every other day over and over on purpose, to get it into her mind. All she sees are your victims even when she closes her eyes. Those lifeless bodies that were forced to turn into ashes and dog food. All she hears is the sounds of the bones crushed and grinded. It drives her crazy. She can’t run away from all those views and sounds that haunt her every night. Natasha refuses to eat since your first gruesome warning. Her skin turns paler and paler. Until one day, she gets too weak and passes out. You have to admit, it got you all worried and all you want to do is take care of her. Luckily, you are a doctor, you know what to do.

“Please stop. Please.” A soft plea slips subconsciously, her head moves left and right slowly as if she is having a nightmare. Her eyelids slowly open, she blinks slowly. A weak whimper escapes her lips. You have been waiting for her to wake up, sitting next to her bed after you give her what she needs. Empty bags of IV and liquid food are hanging on the corner of the room.

She lays her hands on her head from the headache she feels. You can see from her movement that she feels so weak but her color has come back. Soon, she notices the band aid on the back of her hands from the IV needles earlier but her mind thinks it was from something else and panic starts to land on her. She feels your presence so close to her and her head turns quickly following her instinct. “Get away from me! What did you do to me?!”

“You passed out for quite a long time but you had enough IV to rehydrate you and liquid food to give you back your energy.” You answer with a relieved smile but it wasn’t enough to gain her trust back on you.

The weak woman in front of you gets off the bed suddenly despite how weak she is. She trips yet quickly crawls away from you to the corner. Your heart wrenched from seeing her like this. You didn’t want to make her like this but you know you had to, so she won’t run away from you. Oh the irony. You never feel like this before, you even think that you want to redeem yourself in front of her but still keep her under your control.

Her body curls up in the corner. Her knees are folded up to her chest, hugging them closer. Her body rocks back and forth. You walk slowly towards her. Your footsteps sound closer to her and it triggers her even worse reaction towards you. Your eyes search for hers but you fail miserably, she buries her face on to her knees. You can hear her muffled words. “Get away from me! Please! Stop everything!”

You crouch down to her level and her body flinches as your touch lands on her shoulder and she cries harder. She tries to move away as far as she can but the walls trap her.

“Ssshh.. It’s okay. I’m here. Don’t worry.” You try to hug her but she starts to fight you. Her hands try to push you away, to hit you or whatever she can do to you to prevent you from getting closer. “Don’t touch me! I don’t want you here!” Your strength defeats her and you wrap your arms around her.

She still tries to get out of your arms for a few seconds. “Please stop! I can’t take it anymore. I beg you.” She cries. You feel her body shake. 

The second you rub her back and rock her slowly and whisper “Sssh. Okay. Okay. Don’t worry, darling.” Natasha starts to calm down. Her cries start to fade and that makes you feel better. “I promise I won't ever try to escape ever, I won’t ask you to let me go either. Just please stop making me watch what you do to those bodies, to those bones. Please.” You feel her body start to get warmer and sweats trickle down her spine. Her tears soak your shirt.

“Good girl. That’s my good girl. I will stop doing it. Just don't ever leave me and do as I say, okay?” You confirmed. She nods in your hug. You love it when she even snuggles up more to you. Oh the things you would do for her and how far you would go on things only for her. You are obsessed with her, it’s not even funny. Natasha doesn’t know what is happening to her. She hates your touch yet it comforts her. The overwhelming feelings took her energy despite the IV and the food you gave her. You carry her to the bed. Part of her wants you to stay, the rest of her wants you not even an inch close to her. She hates everything that’s happening now but she hates the fact how one simple touch of a killer like you, let alone the hug can give her a whiplash of feelings and emotions by now. Her eyes are heavy the second her head lands on the pillow. You get back to your seat next to her bed. She sees you hold her hand, the hands that were covered with innocents’ blood. 

“Go to sleep, darling. You’ll feel better soon. I’ll be here. Sssh..” A whisper from you easily sends her to slumber as her eyes close slowly.

_____

The day after Natasha’s mental breakdown, she is quiet. Your plan worked. She doesn’t beg you to let her go anymore. From her eyes, you can see that she is traumatized and defeated. You feel less resentment from her against your presence. She eats the food you gave her. Just like you promised before, you didn’t bring any dead victims home nor make her watch you get rid of them.

Days turn to weeks and weeks lead to a month then two. Your effort to talk with her finally shows some progress. The unexpected solace she got from your touch and hugs crumbled her invisible wall from you. Both of you start to tell each other more about yourselves. Sometimes you even spend time with her in her glass room, talking about a lot of things. Sometimes you give her space and you sit outside.

One day, the conversation got a little deeper. You ask her about the past and what that is really going on with her life before you keep her to yourself..

“Well, I work three jobs so I can make enough money for me and to help my sister’s college fund.” She answers. “Yelena?” You ask.

“How did you–ugh why am I surprised that you know, you stalked me for crying out loud.” She ends her confusion with a sarcastic remark and an upset eye roll. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I had to. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to steal you away and you wouldn’t be here.” A mischievous smirk appears after your casual response.

“So, it must be hard for you to work three jobs.”

“It pays the bill and I can save extra money for myself too. I like all the jobs I have, except..” A frown quickly appears followed by a helpless sigh.

“Except what, Nat? Tell me.”

“Except, my boss at the restaurant. He’s a pervert asshole. His hands always get so touchy to me, I hate it.” It’s obvious to see that Nat really hates the mentioned man.

“Disgusting son of a bitch. Quit the job, Nat.” You demand dominantly. “I can’t. That job pays the highest compared to the other two. I need the money. I’m stuck. He threatened me that if I quit, he would give bad references to other restaurant owners he knows. He knows my landlord as well, he would easily tell him to kick us out. We have nowhere to go.” She looks down to the floor as she takes in a deep disappointed breath. She knows she should’ve quit no matter what but like it or not she has to stay.

Anger rush through all your body. Your lips pressed in a straight line. You bite the inside of your cheeks. Silence rapidly dominates the room. What you just heard from Natasha causes a huge ripples of jealousy in you. One of your hands clenched into a fist. No one can touch her, not even an inch or a gentle tap. She is yours only. You slowly sipped a drink while in deep thought. The silence is deafening until you say something that literally has a lot of meaning in it.

“Quit the job, Nat. I will take care of everything. Everything.”

_____

A scream with agony woke Natasha up. She knows it wasn't yours. It's a familiar male voice. "Aargh! Let me go! Who are you? What do you want from me?" The man rambles, his loud panting shows distress and pain.

"Oohhh Natty! I got a surprise for you." You call her with an excited sing-song tone and all giggling.

The noises and the commotion evaporate her sleepy state and she gets up to check what's happening. She quickly recognized the man with ease. It's her pervy boss.

"You want money? I will give you as much as you ask. Just let me go!" The wounded man pleads. Her heart drops when she sees him all wounded and has bad scratches. His clothes are ripped in some parts with both hands tied together in the front and his ankles are tied up as well, bruises and some blood shown around his lips and some part of his skin.

"Dreykov? Y/n? What are you doing? What did you do to him?" Bewildered, she questions you about his very existence right now kneeling in front of you.

The older heavy set man drags his gaze to where Natasha is and surely he soon recognizes her face.

“Natasha? Is that you? Do you know this crazy sadistic bitch? She dragged me around with her car! I don’t even know her. Help!” You can hear his voice sounds so scared for his life, you always love hearing the fear from your victim’s voice. You grab a wine bottle from the counter nearby and hit him, hard enough to give him pain but not deadly just yet.

“Shut up, you pig!” You yell at him, he fell down from the impact..so weak..and helpless. “Please, what did I do to you?” He asks once more, his curiosity demands answers from you.

“Y/n..” she calls you but it goes straight over your head.

You lean down and pull his head back by his hair. “Oh you didn’t do anything to me but you made her life horrible. You disgusting motherfucker. Nobody touched my sweet Natasha.” You answer him with gritted teeth. Guilty and realization appears on his face eventually. He knows what you meant despite his confusion. “Yeah, you know what you did, didn’t you?” You utter creepily.

“Y/n..”

“Yes, love?” you finally respond to her call. You light up a cigarette and hit a few puffs as if nothing crazy is going on right now.

“Why did you bring him here? Did you really drag him around with your car?!” She is close to done waiting for your answer as she asks you one more time with a panic tone. Deep down, she can’t believe that you found him. Fear quickly builds up in her, Natasha knows what would you do to him, how far and how bad you can be.

“Oh just for a few miles, Nat. Juuust enough to let him feel the pain and the burn on his skin.” you describe nonchalantly, your hand casually moves a gesture with a cigarette between your fingers. As much as you want to drag him to death like a lit cigarette, you think it’s too soon. You want the man to suffer a little more.

The dark haired man panting in fear and pain. You put the cig in your mouth as your left hand grabs a loaded revolver gun and pull the hammer back then point it at him. “What if you can kill this douchebag, Natty?” The click sound from the gun and your question send panic to Natasha and Dreykov in a split second.

“Y/n? No, I don’t want to kill him. I don’t want his blood getting on my hand! Let him go!”

“Please! Please! Don’t shoot me. I promise I won’t do anything to her anymore! I won’t say anything about this! Please! I beg you! I have a wife and a kid!” The Russian man begs for his dear life. The more you hear his voice, the angrier you get. His pleas didn’t help at all, it made the urge to kill him stronger.

“Y/n!” Natasha screams your name, trying to distract you as her hands hit the glass multiple times, frustratedly.

You chuckle a little while you ignore her. “Do you think telling me you have a wife and a kid will make me feel pity for you??!! It’s even fucking WORSE!” You push the gun’s barrel into his temple.

“Y/N! STOP IT!”

“OKAY OKAY! I’m sorry! PLEASE! PLEASE DON’T!” He trembles, his body shakes in terror from how close death is right now..

Screamings from all three of you overlap and quickly fill up the room but suddenly shattered with the much louder sound of a shot you pulled. Natasha flinched and her heart beat faster. She sees the man that she hates now screams in great pain on both his tied up hands. Blood is all over his hands after a bullet went through both of his palms. “That was for every time you touched her.”

All Nat can do right now is standing there. Helpless and can’t stop what you are doing to the older man. 

“Arrgh! You shot my hands! What the fuck!” He screams with agitation as he rolls around. “Get on your knees facing her!” You instruct him as the gun still points at him, this time it’s back to the direction of his head. Dreykov struggles to do as he’s told but finally manages to do so.

You can see his face gets all red from trying to handle the pain. You love it, this is what you want. “Nat, I can drag him into your room so you can kill him. Are you sure that you don't want to do it?”

He clenches his jaws, his breathing is faster than a sprinting runner. The satisfaction you have in seeing him suffer is priceless yet insatiable. “No! y/n! I don’t want to kill him!” She refuses angrily and turns around to avoid seeing Dreykov’s dead end fate.

Natasha is angry with herself and the conflicted feeling. Part of her, she loathes him wholeheartedly. Another part of her, she wants you to let him go. Then your offer caught her attention faster than it shouldn’t be.

“Will you love me if I kill this piece of shit for you, Nat?” Your question made her skin crawl but she turned to you anyway.

“I see that I caught your attention, sweetheart. I will do the dirty work for you if you are not ready to kill yet.” You give her a smirk. “Y/n, I’m not gonna kill anybody! Ever! I’m not LIKE YOU!” She denies it aggressively. Her voice turned raspy from screaming her lungs out.

"Okay then, how about…we play a little game? I will count to 5 and all you need to do is say the word STOP and I will let him go BUT… if you don't say the word until I'm done counting, I will blow his fucking head and off he goes to hell. Does that sound like fun? Hmmm?" Your gaze jumps around from the wounded weak Dreykov and Natasha back and forth, waiting for an answer.

"No. No. Please. I'm sorry for what I did to her. Just let me go." The man begged your forgiveness one more time, his hands shaking from the trauma that your bullet had brought and left a hole in his hands. Blood slowly flows out of the wound. His busted lips tremble.

“Ready? Remember, Natty. One..simple..rule.. Say the word STOP, not “Don’t kill him.” or “No.” or whatever other words you want to say. Don’t even bother calling my name either because it won’t stop me from turning his brain into a mush. It’s very easy. Say STOP. “ Natasha sees your remorseless face from the corner of her eyes while you are talking about your twisted game.

“And you, be nice to her. Beg her if you need to.” You whisper as your devilish knowing smirk turns into an ominous laugh. The tip of the gun gets closer to his forehead.

“5..” You count out loud.

“Why are you making me do this?!” Nat asks hysterically.

“4..”

“Romanoff!! Please don’t let her shoot me!” Dreykov desperately begs. The beads of sweat start to roll off his forehead. He tries to move his head away from the gun but you follow wherever it moves.

“I don’t want you to kill him, Y/n!” Natasha screams, she knows time is running out. She feels her mind is spinning. Her eyes flooded with tears of frustration.

“3..” Your voice sends the number out even louder.

“Natasha! I’m sorry! I’m sorry for everything! Just please say THE FUCKING WORD!” His voice breaks. He breathes faster from screaming his pleads out. Taking the air in so he can beg louder hoping it will wake Nat’s sense.

“I hate you! I hate you!” Natasha cries her anger out. She doesn’t even know who the words are for. She hits the glass as hard as she can, multiple times. Loud bangs echo in the room. The pain on her hands and the sting in her throat don’t even bother her anymore.

“2..tik tok Natasha.”

“ROMANOOOOF! I will give anything you want! Please let me live!!!! STOP! STOP!” Dark clouds of fear for his life forcing him to say the word himself even though he knows it won’t save his life.

She turns her back on you and Dreykov, she slides down weakly and starts crying. The coldness of the glass touches her back. She breaks down. “I can’t! I can’t do this anymore! Please, don’t push me! I don’t want to hear it!” Her hands turn cold and shaking. She covers her ears, her fingers start to pull her own hair. Her eyes are closed. Her knees weaken. She is terrified of herself! One easy word is so hard to get out of her lips. Her tongue refuses to form the word, no matter how hard she tries. Her heart drummed.

Adrenaline rush blasts all over your body, feeding the repulsive black hole in you. Every count pulls the tip of the gun barrel closer to him. His jaws are tightening. “Aarrrrgghh!” he screeches hopelessly, forced to accept his death sentence from you, or from Natasha, to be exact.

“1…” The metal sticks to the skin of his head, you push as hard as you can, it hurts him. He closes his eyes from his last anticipation.

“BANG!!!!” You shout in front of his face. You push a short hard jolt on his forehead with your gun at the same time you shout and make the man flinch. No triggers were pulled nor bullets blasted its deadly shells. You laugh maniacally. Obviously, you are poking fun out of his trepidation. Soon, Dreykov realizes that he is still alive, he opens his eyes.

“How does it feel to be helpless, huh?! That’s how you made her feel! You make her feel helpless, you disgusting bastard!” you asks in an eerie angry tone.

Natasha stands up and turns around. She can’t deny that disappointment sagged through her but of course she won’t admit that to herself. She still convinces herself that she didn’t say the word because she knows your game. She thinks that she didn’t say the key word because you won’t shoot him that soon because you want to torture him more but was it really the reason?

She is disgusted by herself. She remembers your face and your voice telling her that she is the same monster as you are. Her eyes rounded, her chest rising and falling from the intensity in the room and the war in her mind.

“Y/n, please put the gun down. You don’t have to kill him. I forgive him.” She lies. She lies to you and herself at the same time. She despises her lies but that’s the only way for her to trick her mind.

“Did you really, nat? Did you?” You know what’s going on in her head from what happened, you know your question bothers her. Waking up the unease feelings she tries to tame. Once again, Dreykov's voice brought her back from her daze.

“You fucking bitch!!!! You think you are cool playing with my mind and my life?!! Soon, my family will look for me and the cops will find you! You will rot in jail! And you, Natasha! You try to kill me by not saying the fucking word! I swear I will make your life and your sister’s life horrible as long as I want because I can! I will—” Trap in great terror of losing his life pushed Dreykov to the edge and furious. Forcing his rambling out followed by threats but another loud blasts break the sound barrier and the hot bullet forces its way through Dreykov's head. Natasha flinches from the sounds. Her ears ring from the gunshot blare.

In a split second, he falls back, lifeless. Blood stains splatter all over and drench his head. You didn’t allow him to finish once you heard him attack Natasha with his menacing words and when you heard Natasha cry her apology.

Her heart falls down to her stomach. “WHAT THE FUCK! Y/n!”

"Such a shame. I didn't want him to die that easy. I was gonna drown him alive in the acid. Oh well." You comment out your disappointment in a flat tone as you shrug your shoulders casually as if you didn't just kill another person.

"I didn't want you to kill him, y/n!" She exasperates.

"Then why didn't you say the word, Nat?"

And there it is, the ugly truth finally comes out. The one that she didn't want to hear. Like a slap in the face, it alarms her yet catches all of her words. She doesn't know what to say yet perhaps she knows the answer to your question.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." You mumble under your breath as you proceed to what you have to do next…to Dreykov's dead body.

Pt. 2

A/n: Welp, that's it for today! I hope you enjoy the intense rollercoaster ride! Let me know what you think. Reblog, comment and input are always appreciated. Follow me for more and see you in next!

Cheerio!

Taglist: @madamevirgo @musicinourlips @unstable-sapphic-hoe @fanboy7794 @chloe7076 @b0mbdotc0m @trikruismybitch @ichala @californianwhiterabbit @honey-sweet-hiraeth @imfuckinggenius @sxfwap @chaekhan @daenerys713 @luvmcgrath @stupidsapphicsstuff @pattypavo @frvny @franfineashell @heyyoweveryone @ygtft-chen @yaaskasey @sweeet-likeeee-cinnamonn @paumxmff @dopeyouth @beaniejennie @ineedafinghug @idkwhatimwriting @lucydiibi @mainly-rebloging-fics-i-like @gloriousfoxruins @grxvitye @mcubreakdown101 @aos22 @wandanatstan @paulawand @yeeterthekeeper @femalehomosexual666 @snowdrop1026 @modernmonalisa @nothingisrealanyway @idamaemann @sweeterlust @royalityofmultifandom @playboysaleen @peabrain112 @gwhaley127 @harleyswanda @bodhi-j @darth-rain @cristin-rjd  

[fleshblueberry]

Babe wake up im going to rant about my ocs lore because im bored

Tw/cw depression, suicide, kidnapping, addiction, unreality

I write angsty stuff for my ocs oops-

When i first started making my characters they were very different in alot of ways and they were very different from what they are now. But i some how managed to glue all the chaos of my ocs together into a semi-coherent story. I went through an insane amount of world building with myself and i honestly dont think ive ever writen or typed any of it out before! its all just up in my head (and you know my memory is trash so ive probably forgotten of alot of things i made before lol). Anyways- i have two main story lines for my characters. Ethan's story, and Vevlet's story. Although i must admit Ethan's story is less complex than velvets simply beacsue it acts as a story of prequeal to Velvets story line. (Alternate realities that happen to have effect on each other basically- we love space time junk)

Ethan's world is very similar to ours, the most similar out of any of my fantasy worlds lol. Ethan's story revolves around self-discovery. I mean for it to be a wholesome/lighthearted thing that quickly leads up to dark undertones (spoilers lol). Ethan's story begins with Eef pre-transition (AFAB to NB). We get to see Ethan learn about themself and have fun exploring emotions and what it means to be alive. Ethan comes from a run-down family (mom khs, dad mia). So he lives with his adoptive parents (who i have yet to design and think about- theyre lesbians 100% though). A major moment for Eef is meeting his partner Seth. As you already know Ethan and Seth are cute ass boyfriends and stuff but guess what! im jammed their story full of angst and edgy shit bc i "wrote" most of this when i was hella depressed! Anyways Seth's family is like moderally welathy, wealthier than most i would say. Seth catches feelings for the emo chick ofc (forgot to metion Eef was definately a hot goth girl before he transitions).... uh yea anyways seth ends up flirting and crushing on eef and eef is like yea sure im bored and sad why not. and they end up dating after a while. Theres an important moment in their relationship when Ethan take Seth to this dead tree. THis dead tree is very important also bc it is where his mother hanged herself, and Ethan doesnt quite remember that bc he was very young when it happened, but he knows it as a place of comfort and he goes there alot when he feels sad or alone. this tree could be taken as symbolizim but heheh ill never tell. anyways Ethan is like yo my fevorite tree and Seth is like wtf okay bro ily and all but why a dead tree with an unstable tire swing?? ANd ethans like idk but i like it here reminds me of my childhood (op my guy) and they spend the night there. Also when ethan comes out to seth as nonbinary seth is just like ok,,, because hes bisexual lol. anyways time skip and Seth has some addiction problems once he graduates, long story short- Ethan doesnt like it bc his dad was a druggie so he trys to help Seth and Seth raises his voice and ethan is tiny compared to his bf so hes naturally like terrified of being hit and he suddenly feels his world of happy and peace he build back up bieng destroyed once again so he heads to his mothers dead tree and decides life isnt worth it anymore, and he hangs himself in the exact spot his mother did.... once seth comes off one of his highs or whatever hes like- oh fuck i yelled and acted agro to my traumatized partner. and he immedatly goes to the tree bc its Ethans favortie spot but its to late. regret is the only emootion anymore... its over for them.

now youre probably wondering how the absolute hell does that tie into velvets lore?? well do i have a tale for you. Velvets sotry begins on her 21st birthday, she is out for drinks with her douchebag bf and her bestfriend. several drinks later she yells over blaring club music shes going to the restroom, and as shes walking back she sees her bf and her bestie making out and she doesnt even say anyhting and walks out alone. She is making her way back to her apartment very tipsy. She then hears a vechile driving beside her, she cant make out anyhting theyre saying and the people in the car get out and before she even relises whats going on shes thrown into the vechile and is being beaten and yelled at. She passes out as theyre driivng to somewhere. When she next awakes she is in a barn-looking place. Concreate walls painted red and straw all over the floor. she cant stand, her legs stung and so did her entire body. for several days- she doesnt know how long she stayed in this place unable to move or do anything. Weak and starving, she gathered up her last bit of strength and hung herself on a low board (havent really worked out the details on that scence bc i keep changing my mind but she does hang herself). Cut to a space of nothingness- legit nothing- exactly its impossible to imagine nothing. In the nothing sits velvet all skin and bone, and then an entity, a hooded figure with long hair, sits next to her. No words are spoke, but the entity looks at velvet longingly. Then it tears out its eye- just full on plunges its hand into its socket and rips it out. bloody mess honestly. the entity hands its eye to velvet, and she takes it. there is no thoughts here, no sound, only actions. Cut once more to a coriners room place? ya know the place with dead bodies and tables and shit- anyways a bright light emerges from dead!vevlets chest and surrounds her entire body. *cue stunned doctor mans* Velvet arises from her death with her scars healed over and... wings. Yup shes an angel now. I mean her world already had monsters and things of suppernatural belonging but- angels are rare. She makes 1 of 2 angels in their relam as of current. Angels are "made" from regrets. Regret overflowing from two sources- one long dead and the other recent. This is where ethan comes in. Ethan's regret from how he died was powerful and sad, powerful enough for his spirt- an entity- to reach Velvets. Velvet too, had much regret in her death. So young and so many things that could have been avoided. In the days following up to her death in the barn/cellar she only felt regret. Regret for all she did and all she didnt do. So much pain summoned the entity. Their powerful forces of regret pulled them together and allowed Velvet to return- but at a price for the both of them. the entity lost its eye- symbolizing a loss of humanity and conscientiousness. While Velvet lost herself, she no longer can view her world in the same way. She has severe ptsd- like episodes and halucinations. She cant go back, she has to live through he own grief. Velvets appearnace also changes quite a bit. Her hair got longer, she has two sleek gray wings on her back, and- one of her eyes are purple now. why does it hrut her to see that eye? why is it all so familiar yet far away. Her human brain can hardly understand all the changes. But she was gifted this- she knows she must try. And luckily for her society sees angels as higher beings. They are given the umost respect but they are also greatly feared because of how misterious their origins are. The only other known angel meets with velvet quite alot through her story, he will act as a sort of guide/plot device to make things a bit easier for myself (havent worked out his lore tho or even a design for him hjbfkjsdb). Anyways im tired and its 1:35 am so thats all the lore you get for now, plus its the stuff ive thought about the most so- i dont really want to think any furtherb ahead yet lol. to many little things to work out...... i love creating but oml typing hurts after an hour or so-

Jam out!

... I don't even know what to say to this

[anestheticrage]

Be me: Japanese honor student🎓, 15, with half a brain and even less of a plan. Hunting bitches by day and witches by night. Livin that dank only child✌️ life while mom n dad yeet all over the globe, leavin me plenty of time to forget not to make 2 lunches for myself #quirky 😜

no time for socialization or basic electronics skills ???📱??? when your best friends are an alien demon rabbit🐰👽 and the inexplicable Hole ™ in your brain. lmao, btw did i mention im ✨M✨A✨G✨I✨C✨A✨L✨

dreamin bout my 2D waifus again when familiar pink haired cancer patient dances through my brain passin out fliers: Kamihama Meguca Dating Service: Sponsored by Cult of the Magius. 250 stones per session 🤔

seems legit, Mr. Moneybags. wasn't spending my unwieldy sack of gemstones on anything else anyway. lets pull 💎💎💎

first up we have Redhead Radagast and her plethora of plants. 🌿☺️🦎

anndd, nearly dies immediately. 

well not off to a great start but i guess shes pretty cute at lea- oh FUCK its her girlfriend, Tsundere Poseidon😒🔱💦, and their exasperated, straight and single Sword Mom 😔🗡️🔥. fml gonna have to save up for the next pull. might as well play a few rounds with what i got tho. 

get in some good girl talk about things like school, color coded hair styles, body count, permanent soul damage, and our personal demon pacts. ya know, the usual 😚 . realize my dark backstory seems to be missing, so the girls take me to Ketchup Queen Sappho 🍅🥧 (wtf?) to molest my glowy egg stone. whatevs, more action than ive had since Kuroe 🖤 got added to the story anyway

the gang agrees it's time to hunt down the cutest rabbit pimp 🕶️🐇💵 in the city. >> say 🎵mukyuuu🎵 one more time and ill hug you so hard my backstory will pop right out, you adorable fluffy bastard. plz be my new best friend 💕

Form brand new friendship pact with Kyubae, and remember that my lil Sis 🐥 was always the best wingman for pickin up magic chicks, and kept her side of the room so spotless i forgot she existed. whoops 乁༼☯‿☯✿༽ㄏ Maybe if I find her i can stop paying these exorbitant pull fees.📵💎

speaking of which: hot damn this week's featured bachelorette is a 19 year old model and magical detective🔎 with massive levels of PTSD and self loathing 🥵💙💦 more likely to stab you or dramatically jump off a rooftoop than utter a single positive comment. wow, maybe i really COULD find true love…

... if i had MORE THAN A 1% FUCKING DRAW CHANCE. 😡 smh

hard to make much progress finding sis or winning the broken heart of a hard boiled detective amidst the never ending lover's quarrel of the Trident Vine Lesbians. 💔 Sword Mom tells them if they don't behave a monster will take them away. LOL classic mom 🤣

>>>HOLY FUCK IT DID

declare all-out war on urban legends, starting with staircases ⚔️ to reunite the dysfunctional trio, and hope that I net a way better lineup with the next 10x pull. at least sad sleuth lady came to help out. they say combat is the best way to bond wi-   and there she goes off the rooftop again 🙄 fml

alright that got way off track, we need a fresh start, away from all the loli drama. how bout a little B&E🔓🔨🤷🏻‍♀️ at the local house of worship to clear my head. ahh nothing like the unanswered prayers of the masses to get you in the mood for another wasted pull, and the 🔥 MIGHTIEST 🔥 headache you could ask for with a side of Double Cooked Pork 🐖🍜 (meh 5/10🧾)

venture forth into the spiritual unknown with your new human flamethrower🔥🌻🧡 and ask your favorite private eye to please, for the love of Eve, trade Meguca accounts with me~~~ Head through the eastern spirit portal to meet up with hologram propaganda sis and detective crush's evil ex, who joined a dating-app cult (#fuck) and also turned into the moon?🌕?(that's rough buddy)

get ambushed by Acid Horse on Wheels 🌈🐴 and vomit up my soul so hard that its time for a crossover episode. T U R F F F   W A R R R *que operatic harmonies* 💛 Blondie with the hair drills and enough attitude and guns to fill up a noble phantasm tries to ban my account permanently, but PI heartthrob denies her admin privileges. aww babe i didn't know you cared. 😭♥️

get kidnapped by my new true love and go back to her place 😏  defs enough empty rooms to house five emotionally traumatized girls and at least two ghosts hehehe👻 XD 💚🃏💜🎸 decide to form the anti-gossip brigade and recruit my blazing sunflower after getting ambushed by the witch living in my fruit loops🥣

❌outvoted 2:1 that cults are bad. mf. fiinneee one last pull to round out the team and then I'll delete the app. cmonnn Karin 🎃~

OH HELL YEAH TWO FOR ONE.

Always wanted a daughter 💜🔨🐄 with a penchant for pissing off the local Martial Arts & Books Club and drinking suspicious liquids offered by total strangers. Well if it's good enough for her AND the sexy mayadere with enough game to seduce a mermaid, might as well get in on that myself. 

#curseddrank 🤢 0/24 would not recommend to a friend, 'cept maybe Ria

win alot of cash 🤑, blow up a fountain, meet the pied piper²🎶🖕, moon cult, monochrome feathers, something about liberation✊🏻; adopt temper tantrum cow girl. aces 💜🥩

Next up!!! skydiving with DJ Hammer! Jump to apparently-not-certain death after suicidal A.I. 💚💾🗼 tells you to rescue her hostage before they run out of Radiohead albums and have to move on to Thom Yorke's solo discography. save the invisible shield kitten 💚👑😿 from happiness and get chased through the internet by the sexiest homicidal Paint Pallette 💚🎨😈 since Caravaggio. (apparently green is the color of the digital apocalypse. i’m deleting Kako from my friend's list)

that’s it, fuck this app. 250 stones 💎 per-life-threatening-experience is more than i’m willing to deal with 😓 don’t wanna mess with the perfect nuclear family anyway. we've already got: 

✔️the two emotionally traumatized moms with memory and commitment issues

✔️the adhd daughter with anger management problems and a giant hammer

✔️the psychologically abused scizophrenic cat

✔️and the eccentric aunt with crippling anxiety

#squadgoals

now that were done hoarding bitches, its time to hunt the witches. and the bitches makin the witches. btw did i mention the witches ARE the bitches! AND WERE ALL GOING TO DIE!? 📽️⁉️💀 wait fuck lets back up a second

This is Nemo📕 and Token🧪 and they have all the answers but prefer if you only ask vague questions in exchange for vague responses so they can fill in the rest by discussing their superior intellect 🧠 at length. not to mention they built that dating app, so of course everyone in my harem decides to be a FUCKING. TRAITOR.🤬

cept waifu prime ofc 🥰💙. [PTSD > brainwashing] 'yOu CaN bE tHe LeAdEr NoW'. i have been from the very beginning you traumatized Hinedere nightmare. maybe if you weren't so caught up collecting surrogate daughters you would've noticed IM👏THE👏ONLY👏 ONE👏PROGRESSING👏THE FUCKING👏PLOT✨

rescue the rest of dysfunctional found-family™ from selves before my adorable firebender burns down Disnihama🎡🔥😱 during her weekly anxiety attack. (love the makeover T B H) 

CHAPTER 8: Magical Girl Massacre🩸🗡️

   - everyone has like, the shittiest day ever

   - the new Pope really needs to be extradited from the church

   - make friends with a really pretty tree 🌺🌲✨

i swear, if i don't finish this god damn story in time to get that free pull im gonna beat the shit out of every mirror i find in that giant mansion that i haven't even had any time to even mention yet. 🖕🏚️ let alone EVERYTHING happening with the prequel [fuck you, I'm the star] girls 💗💜💙💛❤️️ and their multidimensional melodrama. We don't need that many repetitive af episodes to emphasize that Homo-ra is a shitty person. we've all seen Rebellion. 🙄

NO, I DONT CARE IF YOU WANT SAPPHO'S BACKSTORY, I ONLY HAVE 79 STONES LEFT AND IF YACHAN FINDS OUT I HAVEN'T DELETED THE APP YET IM GONNA HAVE TO GO SLEEP IN WITH SANA 😭💎💸😠

uhhhggggg where were we… Topple a cult and burn down Hotel Denoument only to realize that Sis was fused with the dating app servers this entire madokafuckin time (told ya she was the best wingman 😊). 

Dilemma: Sis =🥚, Triumvirate of Trouble want 🐣. What do? vote now:

Help Hatch - IIIIIII

Not Do That - IIIII

What The Actual Fuck Is Going On - IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Lets just fight everyone until something good happens.

🔥🔫🔥🗡️🔥😱🔥🌆🔥😱🔥🛡️🔥💣🔥

Kill (???) the artist-in-chief of the italian reindeer murder police after teaching her the true meaning of Christmas 🎄 hatch 🐣lil Sis and realize she WAS your wingman all along🐰 MUKYUUUU! we're just gonna ignore how much trouble it would have saved if you'd just mentioned that. "yOu DiDnT aSk..." 

FUCK YOU SPACE BITCH. ONCE AN INCUBATOR ALWAYS AN INCUBATOR 🖕🐇🔪

anywho, somewhere along the lines we of course summoned the Antichrist ⚙️ because why not raise the stakes to max and still not kill off a single character. Madofuckinkami, can we PLEASE wrap this up. 😩💤

feathers (not the culty kind, tfm) rain from the sky, and the power of friendship and not having the Urobutcher 🔪🩸as a lead writer saves our peacefully sectioned off alternate reality 😇

TL:DR fuck cults, real life waifus DO exist, don't sell your soul to space rabbits, or your stones to megacorporations. Enjoy arc 2 on the JP server with your shitty translation patch you filthy fuckin weebs 

Yours Truly, 

- Thirsty Weeb Eroha 💗💎😘 

[stimmypaw]

Stimmypaw reads Darkest Night! The fourth text post!

Back with these uh live reading comments! Remember those? yeah! I'm on the fourth book of Warrior Cats: A Vision of Shadows :D I read The Apprentice's Quest and Thunder and Shadow and Shattered Sky and now!! I'm here :D and boy did I have a time. Click read more to see it!

NEEDLETAIL?????????

Needletail???????????

What?????

OH???????

Wh THIS GUY IS TALKIN 2 DEAD PEOPLE????

HOW WHO IS THAT

OH MY GOD

These guys are weak and dumb skyclan is epic and sharing the territory with them is good, but of course sparkpelt isn't dealing well with change wink wink nudge wink nudge nudge huh???? (this is a nod to how I project into her and say shes autistic)

I am getting anxious for tinycloud SERIOUSLY how much longer until those kits??? Everyday you show up and its WOW my tummy ssure is HUGE AND BULGING I just Wonder Oh When They'll Be Born, probably pretty soon!!! :) and then they arent!!!! Birth dammit!!!

Cherryfall cut the sick and hurt cats some slack jeez youre Fine, youre not feeding half the forest and you have THREE medicine cats ready to help you if youre not feeling well

Bastard Cherryfall I hate you /lh

Dovewing and Tigerheart have relationship drama again. What is UP with those two I simply do not understand them

Watching Bramblestar trying to control this bizarre situation is actually funny he is so close to screaming "PLEASE dont be mad :c"

SOON WHEN???? JUST KIT THOSE KITTENS DAMMIT

Get her, Alderheart

They LITERALLY said something about sharing the territory, they were like "Stars have five points baby and we need those 5 clans togetherrrr" what else do these cats want??? I know its a big change but its necessary

Wait everyone shut up that cat is named Podlight this is so important to me

Dang these cats are really still struggling :c I wish they didnt blame each other

Harestar is so cool

What the FUCK mistystar????

God what a disaster of a gathering Starclan is gonna be so pissed everyone is doing the opposite of what they should

I was holding my breath oof

I hope thunderclan gives some territory too thats too small a space for Skyclan

Oh boy oh boy oh boy i am Anxious for these Kitties

Violetpaw is me having nightmares every night

Macgyver is a heavily gringue name and I have No Clue how to say it how the hell do you say it

Update its either Mick Guyver or Mac Guyver apparently

Its fun to see how different the sisters are from one another, I love them both

I also love their mom with the name identical to puddleshine wish I got to meet her

IM CRYING BRO........M...MDB.....NFBANN.....VIOLETPAW BELONGS MY DARLING MY DAUGHTER

Sadly Twigpaw is for gender binarism 😔 /j

Twigpaw is often in her thoughts and doesn't pay attention to anything around her and I love her for that

Bad news Finpaw is gonna lose his tail, good news I can draw his tail fin-shaped

Puddleshine surgeon moment!!!

I love Graystripe and Millie

And I love that being flirty is a part of Sparkpelt's personality, I don't know what Alderheart is talking about she's always been dandelion-headed

Ok this is epic, I’m glad we’re breaking gender roles in Warrior Cats my heart dropped when the books called Briarlight cr*ppled, that’s the thing they promised not to do anymore recently right? I’m not sure but, I could use some uh less ableism on my Warrior Cats, the series is old but the newer books should be better, so yeah, good modernize these cats babyyy

OH COOL Skyclan journey!!! Fun I hope they find someone :] also fuck Molewhisker and Cherryfall bastards.

Jayfeather is gonna miss Alderheart too much for him to leave hehehe

ALL of Starclan showed up just to call out Riverclan pahahah

oooo is shadowclan haunted?????

FINALLY TINYCLOUD IS KITTING YES GOD YES GO QUEEN GOOOO!!!!

I wonder why Twigpaw wants to stay behind, there has to be more than just the camp stuff

"I wish I were more positive like Twigpaw, but at least I'm just as scarred by the death of my loved ones as my dad :] I like being like him"

Violetpaw witnesses a car crash 😔 that was a bit messy what happened to those cars also why the hell was one of them smaller was it a bike??? Or ???? Idk what's up with it!!!

Needletail just happens to have slow-down turned on for her on the discord chat so she can only say like a few words each hour :/ why the hell is she here tho Violetpaw needs to get OVER your death!!!!

This short exchange has made me love Dewpaw

Also, I love Twigpaw, I still wonder why she stayed behind tho

Ahh, is it cus she feels too estranged from her family :c ? I wish her mom was around maybe that would help

Jee Twigpaw be a tad more empathic, I can see Twigpaw struggles with that sometimes

You can't cheer him up right now he's grieving, just find him on common ground, talk to him, don't try to make him happy just try to keep him company

Oh wow finpaw that's a dangerous thing to say I hope Twigpaw doesn't crumble under the pressure to never be sad because people like her because she's happy and her being sad would be bad

ALSO I JUST REMMEMBRERD UH TWIGPAW MENTIONED BRIARLIGHT BUT BERRYNOSE IS RIGHT THERE???? HE IS RIGHT HE DIDNT DIE OFF SCREEN IM SURE OF IT WAIY

BERRYNOSS IS RIGHT THERE I CHDCKED!!!! HE LOST HIS TAIL TOO AND HES A GREAT WARRIOR, TWIGPAW!!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED IT ITS MORE RELATABLE

Okay I'm glad they're getting along this is nice

Oh look twigpaw you Are like your father :] this is cute

Skyclan begins to fish competitively I'm glad

I like it when medicine cats bicker about their leader's behaviors ehheheh, Jayfeather talking about how weak Shadowclan is, Alderheart being annoyed at his father for wanting to stay silent, the others worried about the tensions this is all cheff the kisser

Jayfeather spitting the truths about how Starclan doesn't know shit, and he is very much one to speak

Puddleshine: Rowanstar stepped up the patrols :c

Leadstar: He has warriors enough for that?? Damn good for him

Dang poor Skyclan I hope they manage stuff better soon

Oooo the girls are fighting!!!

Alderheart starclan anxiety time dang

Sheep :]

Needletail :[

I'm sad Ravenpaw isn't here, this is a lovely reunion scene but knowing Barley will be alone when they all leave breaks my heart

Oh, maybe not, but if they stay I'll be sad also cus Skyclan needs its warriors

Aw man, Twigpaw is struggling :c

OUCH

I WANT SKYCLAN 2 SWIM THO......

Omg crimes

That sounds kinda possessive twigpaw!

DOVEWING?????

T

WhHAHAGAHAHA WHERE DID THAT COME FROM

omg tigerstar 2 real

Whats he gonna do to rowanstar???

ALRIGHT THATA OVER THEN PAHAHA

Aw, I'm glad they're having fun tho, and that twigpaw sees herself as skyclan

Alderheart, as he meets someone for the first time in a while: ARE YOU OKAY???

Blackstar protagonist moment

The medicine cats: our gods are toying with us again and destiny is uncertain

Leaders: I cannot DO this right now PLEASE leave and let me care for The Real Issues

Alderheart: YOU WILL hang out at my house Willowshine this isn't up for debate

Riverclan suffered enough and it's their turn to throw a tantrum about it, honestly good for them hsghahah

Alderheart asks his father to go on a quest to check people's feet

WHAT THR HELL IS A CANTANKEROUS

Alderheart and Willowpelt sitting there watching Shadowclan fight

This is really funny

HEWWO????

Puddleshine, in his eyes: help help

I love Skyclan

Ok this sounds like it's gonna be very very fun

Mission impossible: Escape From São Paulo

Oh, is Fallowfern deaf? That's so poggers omg I wanna see more of her

Edit: fallowfern is an elder that lost her hearing with age and retired after that happened :/ boring

I love leafstar so much

Juniperclaw: aren't you gonna punish her????

Leafstar: why

Juniperclaw: when I tell rowanstar he's gonna be pissed

Leafstar: don't tell him

Juniperclaw: the fuck is wrong with you and your clan??? Where is everyone???????

Leafstar: busy

Icon

I don't trust abled people specially able-bodied people telling disabled people they just have to train harder and feeling sorry for yourself won't help.

But this is the closest to a positive message to disabled people we have ever had in warriors so I guess I'll take it but I want better

IVYPOOL!!!💖💖💖💖💕

Dang ivypool what a way to show someone you miss them hahaha

Twigpaw: uhhhh how's dovewing?

Ivypool: what do you mean did she do something illegal I'm sure she did

Ivypool is a seriously funny character WHY are you yelling at the young adult about your sisters illegal activities she doesn't know anything about it!!!!

Alderheart goes on an adventure

Feet inspector on the road!!!!

Jasper is so funny I love him

Omg what's he got against clan cats??? What's his sad backstory????

YEESSSS SPARKPELT MY LOVE 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕💕💕💕💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕

Sparkpelt your opinion sucks but I love you

I'm really really glad they had this moment this is really sweet, they hadn't talked for a while but this is genuine like, we hadn't had this sort of relationship in so long in the books with just, dialogue yknow??? THEYRE TALKING ABOUT THINGS

And the pause Sparkpelt takes between her speaking to fix what she's saying "I'm sorry for saving you :c no wait uhh not exactly but like" this is so good so natural so fun I love you sparkpelt

I get why she has a diferent opinion on Skyclan it's good for someone close to Alderheart to have a different mindset from him and for him to have someone like uh be opposites from him a lil yknow contrats his characteristics makes both siblings fun round and full of kitty do you get what I'm saying???

I love this

I love Sparkpelt, love her lil anxious moments, love her, love that she just wants to fool around with toms and enjoys Larksong but doesn't want to get serious you go girl

They wanted to write smart-ass they wanted to write smart-ass so bad

They're doing this in the rain?????

I'm quite certain Violetpaw is a young adult by this point its valid for her to go

Wh why did you let your cat out in the rain dude!!! When it comes back it's gonna dirty up the whole place it's wet out there!!!! And the cold is gonna get in the house!!!!!!!

I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH OH LORD

That was SO INTENSE AND SO FUNNY AND SO MUCH, IM SO GLAD SHE MADE IT I GOT SCARED

Oh this is so epic

That moment when your cat nearly dies and then it runs off and you go after it and then a bunch of other cats show up and start running with it

I hope Twigpaw can see the others soon

Glad to see her keeping her medicine cat knowledge ehehehe

???????

Sandynose I hate you you are so abled

Sandynose: I don't want my son to feel distanced from his peers so I'm distancing him from his peers

DOVEWING???

SANDYNOSE SHUT UP IM GOING TO KILL YOU ANS MURDER YOU

I'm so upset with Sandynose WHY isn't leafstar seeing this WHY DOESNG ANYONE SEE THIS SOMSONE PLEASE CONFORT AND LOVE MY CHILD TWIGPAW DOESNT DESERVE THIS

Angry sad upset why

Piscina

Thanks graystripe

Ok who's dying this time

Ok no one just a background cat got hurt he will survive otherwise it would be relevant

This was intense though what will happen now???

YES FINALLY

Oh this is lovely so good they're here!!! The rest of skyclan has arrived and we are all happy together

That dream felt good

NEEDLETAIL??? AGAIN

Where were you at!!!!

What!!!

Check this man's feet how many toes are there this could be good

What

Hegshahwha what the fuck is up with this guy

Okay I like him

Ohhh THATS tree

Change your name if you don't like it you sound trans already

Yeah nothing makes one smarter like dying

This is very fun I'm excited for more of whatever happening

Twigpaw :c

HIS SNIFFLES

Oh no

Hhhhnn I want Twigpaw to be happy so bad, I hate seeing her struggles

Sandynose you are so evil and very detested by me

You can and you SHOULD feel angry at Sandynose he SUCKS and he is being needlessly mean at you!!!!! There are much better ways to bring up the possibility that maybe you'd be happier with thunderclan!!! Fuck off Sandynose

Oh so Snowbush hasn't improved, maybe he will die?

Poor Alderheart

Oh fuck there he goes

Yeah

Aw man, rip to the background cat

That was a heavy death too

Aw, I was hoping the rest of Skyclan would show up before the gathering, maybe just after it???

I wonder what's going on in Shadowclan

TIGERHEARTS MISSING HUH???

The couple was kidnapped

HUH????

Oh my lord oh fuck

Can't anyone step up to lead why do they depend on Tigerheart so much???

Jesus christ

Alderheart kills his gods

This is so chaotic and funny I'm worried as hell for shadowclan but excited a lot is happening

HI TREE AGSGAHAH

Tawnypelt >:(

Puddleshine: WAIT DONT KICK HIM OUT, CHECK OUT HIS FREAKY FEET INSTEAD

Oh dear

Twigpaw :c

TWIGPAW :CCCC Man rememebr when I said I hope Twigpaw doesn't crumble under the pressure of being happy for others? yeah

GET OUT SANDYNOSE I DONT CARE YOURE BEING REASOMABLE FOR ONCE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN LATER

:C

I'm so heartbroken for them

Uh pdhsgahab okay then

Bye finpaw

Wow that was easy for him

This is fun

I'm still sad as hell

Okay there's a lot going on right now wow

The owl scene was funny as hell to picture, this dramatic prophetic moment and the cats just "uuggh is that a prophecy??? Nooo"

Okay so

There's some shadowclan cats missing, considering the many sleekwhisker maps I'm sure she's up to no good but I have no clue what happened to the others and I hope they're okay

Wow! That was really something

Fantastic ending to a very good book its, definitely a different energy from the third but I'm really enjoying this I'm still excited as hell!!! I got worried things would get kinda bad from here but nope!!!! Very fun stuff for now this is very very good and I am enjoying it

This is definitely one of the most fun arcs I've read so far!!! The drama the stakes the little moments everything is tying together really well into a very fun story I'm enjoying a lot!

I worry for Twigpaw and hope for her happiness, and Violetshine too, hope her and Hawkwing deal well with missing her. Tree is being interesting. Alderheart wasn't much of a focus here but always fun to see him trying to solve the damn prophecy no leaders seem to care about. Mousewhisker was okay??? Lots of very fantastic turns for all events and uh let's see where this all goes next!!!

[mochabeesnuts]

For the ting (go skkrrrrrat) thing. All of them

*yells* Da ting go skkkkrrrraaa, papakakaka Skivipipopop and a poopooturrrboom Skrra, tutukukututoom, poompoom

1. selfie

HNNNG OK UH. UGH. HRM. FINE. A;JKFG

hnnng asdfj;klad aNYWAYS

2. what would you name your future kids?

im not sure honestly, i feel like its one of those things where i have to meet them first. and honestly i dont think about it too much because i plan on adopting so chances are they’ll be old enough to already have a name. idk, im not picky about age. i feel like its going to be one of those things were i’ll just. know which kid needs me and that will be that.

3. do you miss anyone?

mm i miss my dogs at home. but i get to visit soon so!

4. what are you looking forward to?

im looking forward to january and seeing my friend. im also looking forward to next semester and getting a fresh start. also the possibility of getting a cat soon

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?

heheh yeah there is

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?

y.u.p. jesus fuck

7. what was your life like last year?

um. it was hard. and painful. but it was a learning experience and i think im stronger for it

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

yes

9. who did you last see in person?

uhh i saw my roomie like a half hour ago when i was walking home

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

i used to be a fucking master at it. cant tell if i miss that skill or not

11. are you listening to music right now?

yup! trying to find some new songs to listen to regularly

12. what is something you want right now?

i dont know actually

13. how do you feel right now?

i feel... mm i feel kinda peaceful. i feel like a lot of weight has been taken off of my shoulders but i still have so much on my plate. but i have a clearer mind to work on those things now so it’s a start

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

umm i got a hug from my dad on friday. if dad doesnt count then um.. hm... *squints* a long time

15. personality description

passionate. when i feel something i feel it strongly. whether its good or bad its fucking there and i almost always act on it. i dont hesitate but i try to be as considerate as possible. i try to be a people pleaser. and im also very determined. heheh, look at that i managed not to make that negative, kinda happy with that tbh.

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn't?

yes, just once i think. i told someone it was ok that they were leaving me and that it was ok they were breaking my heart instead of telling them how i actually felt. i wanted to say it, but i knew that making them feel worse for it wouldnt do either of us any good. so i kept my feelings to myself.

17. opinion on insecurities.

we all have them. a lot of them. and they overwhelm even the best of us at times. whether we choose to or not we wear them on our sleeves and theyre one of the hardest things to fight against because our greatest and strongest enemy is ourselves. being your own greatest friend is fucking hard, and insecurities play a large role in that.

18. do you miss how thing were a year ago?

no. i dont. i was sad and lonely. i didnt feel like i belonged anywhere. but thats not true anymore, and id never want to go back to that.

19. have you ever been to New York?

nope!

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?

i have a few songs that i love a lot rn but mmm i can put down the one that i relate to a lot today? Machine by misterwives is a big mood for me rn and its nice the other hella big mood and this one has been putting the biggest smile on my face is salt by bad suns

21. age and birthday?

18 about to turn 19! my bday is november 30th :D

22. description of crush.

theyre human. they work hard and theyre passionate about what they love. a complete and utter dork that gets excited and can go on an on about what they find interesting and i can honestly listen to it all day. theyre sweet and silly and creative and smart as hell. theyve been there for me through so fucking much and we’ve both hit our low points and shown darker sides of ourselves but despite that we’re both still here yknow? and that, idk that means something to me. because anyone can stick around through the bright and beautiful stuff, the easy parts. but it takes someone special to be there and still just, want to be in your life even when shit hits rock bottom.

23. fear(s)

im honestly not sure. i never really have been.. i mean.. hm. idk. spiders maybe. but lately theyve bugged me less. usually instead of freaking out if i see spiders or bugs now i just help them get outside so i dont think that counts anymore.. idk. im sure im afraid of something, everyone is. i just.. dont really know what it is. one of my friends said i may be afraid of the unknown which is possible. *Shrugs*

24. height

5 ft 9 in!

25. role model

dont really have one

26. idol(s)

nani the fuck this is the same question

27. things i hate

i HATE people that treat customer services like shit. i hate lying and i hate high school drama(tm). i also hate eggplants.

28. i'll love you if...

you be yourself

29. favourite film(s)

the chronicles of naria, httyd 1 and 2, little mermaid, anastasia, inkheart

30. favourite tv show(s)

how i met your mother, stranger things, kekkai sensen, your lie in april, brooklyn 99, firefly, voltron

31. 3 random facts

1. ive jumped off a cliff

2. jellyfish can produce asexually as well as sexually. they can clone themselves!

3. mitochondria is still the powerhouse of the cell

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?

girls

33. something you want to learn

i want to learn more about marine biology, i miss it

34. most embarrassing moment

mm wasnt the most embarrassing and it was actually kinda funny but its recent-ish so.

last year in instrumental rep class we were at the concert hall and this pianist was playing for us on stage, pro and fancy from out of country and everything. and i hadnt been getting much sleep so when she started playing all this slow and pretty music i passed tf out. problem was. i was sitting in front of my entire class/all my friends. and apparently just as she finished a song i started laughing in my sleep just like a mumbly “heheheh” but it was deadass quiet so EVERYONE heard it. and when someone nudged me awake like, everyone was looking at me but i didnt know why. and i went the entire fucking class not knowing it had happened and it wasnt until after the class ended and the performer got off stage that everyone burst out laughing and told me what happened. they fucking called me chuckles for a week lmao

35. favourite subject

music, photography, english, marine biology

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

1. i want to be successful enough that i can repay my parents for everything theyve done for me

2. i want to be the composer for a big name film

3. its.. dumb but i just really want to be in a happy relationship. a real one. its probably not the best thing to want as a dream but ill be real, ive been in love with the idea of love ever since i was a kid and that never really went away, just my chances in believing it’s something that will happen in my life.

37. favourite actor/actress

hmm i probably have one but its not coming to mind

38. favourite comedian(s)

kevin hart

39. favourite sport(s)

i love watching ice skating, love participating in swimming. used to do it competitively

40. favourite memory

ahh its hard to pick one plus this feels a bit personal!

41. relationship status

single as a pringle.. which doesnt make sense because pringles come in packs but it rhymes so fight me ok

42. favourite book(s)

inkheart, chronicles of narnia, my sister’s keeper

43. favourite song ever

what’s up by 4 non blondes, also 7 layers by dotan

44. age you get mistaken for

early 20s

45. how you found out about your idol

bruh

46. what my last text message says

hnnng its “Good night, I love you mom!” sdfj;lkgsd

47. turn ons

ive answered this a few times before

48. turn offs

ive answered this a few times before

49. where i want to be right now

mmm, im happy where i am for now i think.

50. favourite picture of your idol

ffs

51. starsign

Sagittarius 

52. something i'm talented at

music, photography

53. 5 things that make me happy

1. my friends

2. my plushie/soft things

3. music

4. rain

5. the fact that each new day is a chance for something new. idk why but that fact has just made me feel better a lot

54. something thats worrying me at the moment

my friends. theyre all going through a lot and i want to help but i can only do so much

55. tumblr friends

you know who you are bbs

56. favourite food(s)

this is always strangely hard for me to answer. theres an udon place back at home though that i can safely say is my fav.

57. favourite animal(s)

jellyfish, dolphins, dogs, cats, sea turtles, jorunna parva (sea bunnies), dragons

58. description of my best friend

i have a couple. both are kind and passionate as fuck. theyve been there for me through thick and thin and i wouldnt trade them for the world. theyre also going through so much fucking shit rn and i want to be there for them as much as i can

59. why i joined tumblr

because all my homestuck trash friends had one and convinced me to make one. i didnt know wtf to do on this hellsite for a solid 4 months

60. ask me anything you want

you gotta ask me anything you want my dude lmao, just pop into my inbox with whatever question you want to ask and i’ll answer it honestly

[survivornavarino]

Episode #9: I’m A Fighter -Jake

*loud screeching noise* AHHHHHHHHHH omfg i cant believe we just did that #beam 4 life ok so like i feel horrible because i love drew but he was trying to make an alliance and it didnt include me and i had to take him out before it was too late because while it wouldnt be me this vote it probably would next time so like sorry drew i love u im sure this doesnt help my case for like why u should b my friend but like i rlly am sorry.  also i feel bad for lying to jake but it just wouldve gotten back to drew and i didnt want to risk that.  im hoping he doesnt hate me too much for blindsiding his ally but like again, they were trying to have a majority alliance that i wasnt a part of and i just didn't want to deal with it tbh.  maybe jake and i are just doomed to eternally be on separate sides in games idk (sad music plays) umm trixie idk we dont really talk we just kind of coexist UM HOLDUP JESUS CHRIST WE JUST FUCKING MERGED WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WIG ON PLUTO WHAT TO HECK ????? im off to plot heathers demise xoxo gossip beckka

Woot Woot its merge loves. Time to be a complete mess and be first merge boot. Hehehe

I MADE IT, MY SECOND ATHENA GAME AND I MADE IT TO MERGE AGAIN IM INCREDIBLEY HAPPY. Let’s hope I don’t get eighth place again, and if I’m gonna be honest I need Drew gone if I’m gonna win. He’s so fucking good at challenges. So eliminating him would mainly be out of fear.

Remember how I’m a dumbass? Me too ok so Drew was eliminated already.

Excuse me I am stupid and don't get letters are better as numbers... and also reversed. I would like an explanation plzz

words tried in number form and reversed so far that have not worked. Emily-Amanda-Abbey-Francie, Navarino, Survivor, Athena. Im gonna cry I cant find it yet.

Oh yeah tea, I ended up finding a secret advantage called the deja vote which means I can steal someone’s vote from a tribal and re-use it at a later tribal 

This was originally going to me a vlog of me screaming after tribal but I busy last night and fell asleep before doing it so now I'm more calm and just gonna type out. Okay so looking back at my last confessional, bitch I'm boo boo the fool. I seriously thought Eddie and Autumn were being honest with me because I trust(ed) them sooo much, but it turns out they were playing me and orchestrating a Drew blindside behind my back. So before I went out last night, EVERYONE told me they were voting Matt. Then two minutes before the vote, Eddie and Autumn message me like "JAKE! Are you here??? SOMETHING is happening" like bitch shut the fuck up something is not happening don't act like this shit just happened last minute. Then they say "Drew is getting voted out tonight!" So...I went to Drew and told him to play the idol if he had it. Because I didn't want Matt staying if I was voting for him. But Drew said he didn't have an idol, and Eddie found out that I told Drew and told Autumn. So after I got home I messaged the group chat with Eddie and Autumn and told them that I was upset by them lying to me bc I did trust them the most. Then Autumn decided to get ballsy and reply "I don't buy that at all since you told Drew to play his idol, you were more loyal to him than me." GIRL STFU yes the fuck I did tell Drew because you told me TWO MINS BEFORE TRIBAL - MEANING YOU KEPT THE VOTE HIDDEN FROM ME ALL DAY. DON'T SAY IM DISLOYAL WHEN YOU WERE THE BIGGEST MFING SNAKE THIS ROUND! ...Anyways. Autumn then tries to come for me by saying "So tell, what's with this alliance between you, Eddie, Drew, and Trixie." And this is when I got more mad. BC Drew proposed this alliance to me, but it was never made, hell I didn't even tell Trixie about it. And when I told Eddie about it I told him I think we should tell Autumn about the alliance (Since he wanted to as well) So it became clear that Autumn was spreading to rebecka and matt that I was in an actual alliance with them to get them all to turn on us. So um Autumn, I wanted to trust you and go far with you in this game, but you're dead to me in this game now and I want you GONE. Autumn has the most connections here. She has Eddie, Rebecka, Matt, Ben, and I've heard that she has Mitch as well. She is a huge threat and if I can find a way to take her out, I will. But right now I need to focus on surviving. After the vote, Trixie added me to a call with Julia. Julia told us all of the alliances she's in (and she's in a damn lot) and said she basically likes Trixie more so she's working with us. Umm okay that's cool. I hope she's being serious because my life in this game is in Julia's hands now. She has all these connections and I need to get her to gun for someone that isn't me, Trixie, or Shoib. I've decided that my ideal final 3 would be with Trixie and Shoib because I trust them the most now, we've been together since day one, and we're all fans. It would be perfect. Sooo yeah. I also talked to Heather and basically blamed Tyler for all the animosity between us. I am trying to repair relationships and hopefully push the target off my back because I am worried about being targeted for 12th. IDK WHAT ELSE TO DO! I am in SUCH a bad position right now and it's so annoying. At the start of this game I had a lot of allies and the two people who trusted me the most (Tyler and Drew) are gone. But I'm a FIGHTER. I will NOT give up! I was in the minority at merge in crossroads and turned it around and made it to FTC so I just have to keep pushing and hopefully I'll get the same results! Woo wig! This was originally going to me a vlog of me screaming after tribal but I busy last night and fell asleep before doing it so now I'm more calm and just gonna type out.

https://youtu.be/iUDlOxxgtz0 my face in the thumbnail for this video is so funny cause it's when i found out of another to do the idol search. Obviously we know it didn't work adhshjks

I am pumped for this merge, I feel like I am playing a really under the radar game and it will make people come to me and ask me to vote with them if the game does break down into two sides, which I think it will. I trust Julia and Trixie the most right now and Trixie has two FREAKING idols omg. I also trust Mitch and Autumn but they are my secondary alliance which I will fall back on if I lose Trixie and Julia

Ok so no one is really messaging me about the vote, which is scary. I don't want to be first merge boot. The only people who have spoke to me are Matt, which he is confused, and Jake, which says no one really spoke to him about the vote yet. I did hear that people thought Ben and I were close, which like we have voted together, but aren't to close. I know now that Trixie has an idol and someone found the merge idol so FUN. I CAN'T WAIT TO BE FIRST MERGE BOOT.

Me starting a grassroots movement of Ben vs Heather cause I'm not aligned with either? Yep. Me forcing people to show their hands and make choices? Absolutely https://68.media.tumblr.com/41399c7dcc99b69388de05d609f7323c/tumblr_inline_o6ola1oDhw1sso1z7_500.gif Look none of these votes will be easy cause I like everyone and I'm aligned with almost everyone but it's Survivor I ain't scurd. I neeevvveerrr talk to Ben or Heather so I'm just gonna be a swing vote in the mess I created. Also feel free to give me the villain edit that's the one thing I haven't accomplished in Athena, besides winning or beating my placement. If not that's cool too I'll just continue to be my messy antihero self. Ok bye! Time to disappear and let the drama fester while I'm at work

You know what would be great, if more people would know who the vote is gonna be. Won't be surprised if that is me to be quite honest. Right now I hear Ben and if that is the only name I hear, I'll do it.

i never thought i'd say this but I WANNA HEX JULIA THE WITCH. okay not really bc i dont want her to read this and think im actually mad. but im wary of what i say to her now considering she told heather about my idol hehe

The votes for me cuz Beckka is bitter over another game. At least in that game I didn't isolate her. I'm prob just gonna cry in a corner.

This is a mess

this round has been a fucking mess and a half and im too busy rn trying to save my ass to make it all sophisticated i have a lot to say so if i stay ill explain everything later but basically autumn came to me today saying she wants to flip on ben so im trying to rally eddie trixie shoib julia and heather to get 7 on ben but apparently ben is throwing my name out bc he doesnt want to vote heathwr and immm fucking nervous idek if heather will wanna vote ben now if hes trying to save her what if she flips like this is bad help

The first merge vote is stressful as fuck cus there’s 12 people. I’m fine as long as it’s not me.

Don't know what's going on. Voting heather and hoping it works!!!!!

Good god am I glad I'm immune for this bullshit Let's start with merge. Woo merge! The idol system is announced. I actually make progress on the advantage hunt! Then I finish it. And someone already has it. GREAT So then I try the idol hunt and someone ALSO has it! GREATER. So now I have to worry about that shit. So I won immunity somehow because I guess preparing was a good idea since I blew through the second round. I won't be first merge boot in Athena woo!!! But now the vote is fucking crazy. I want to vote out Heather because, as sweet as she is, she's got a lot of ears listening for info for her and it's better to get someone like that out early before it's too late. But people don't want to because they're the ears! Big surprise. People are between Jake and Ben and Heather and honestly? I want to keep Ben around a little more. My plan for now is to not have one big alliance, but rather to be a part of small trio alliances so people can have my back without the worry of a huge alliance fracturing. I just have to keep the trio members safe. My planned trios are as follows: Ben, Mo, myself Shoib, Autumn, myself Rebecka, Julia, myself (WIP) That's 7 people who have my back in varying circumstances, as long as they're being truthful. I've also been alerted to a greater alliance of Matt, Ben, Julia, Mo, and Rebecka. Hopefully this trio plan will help me get in with those people more, and perhaps in the close future I can take out Matt and get rid of that variable.

i made merge!! its lit!! there hasnt been a lot going on so far. nobodys really reached out to me and ive been so busy so im just going with what rebecka wants, which is heather. i’m not sure voting heather is a good move for me, in fact i know its not, but unfortunatelt i dont have the time to make another move and im just tryin to survive

What is going on here on this day? This is a mess and i'm just on the train a long for the ride. I'm hearing Ben, Jake, and Heather, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's me tonight. Like I'm sure they're afraid of Jake having an idol, so why not throw their votes on someone who's irrelevant at the moment and who probably wouldn't see it coming? Anyway, I HIGHLY doubt Ben is leaving tonight, and I don't really believe that the votes are going on Heather or Jake, idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk. I really hope Jake stays, and I really hope Ben goes or I am probably screwed af.