#‘he is left to his thoughts and even that couldn’t bring him solace’ i ????????? wow

[tea-stained-notes]

Steve Rogers x OFC - Waiting On a Miracle, Chapter 5

After catching an infamous serial killer in the act, Julie Castillo is in line for the witness protection program. She is sent to a temporary safe house with U.S. Marshal Steve Rogers to protect her. Both of them scarred by trauma and tragedy, they find solace in each other. But how far will they dare to go?

A shorter one, but at least you're getting an update in record time :D Also, I finally got around to making a tag list for this - if you'd like to be added or removed, please let me know!

CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 3 | CHAPTER 4

Series warnings: violence, death, angst, trauma, smut

Chapter warnings: anxiety, trauma

Chapter word count: ~1600

Song(s) referenced: Waving Through a Window (Dear Evan Hansen) Santa Fe (Newsies), Where Did the Rock Go (School of Rock), Empty Chairs At Empty Tables (Les Misérables)

Tag List: @multifanworld @peguem-o-pombo-agora @cvanstagram @yslvtre @wandasrogers @littleredone88 @before-we-get-started @sophham @missaprilt23 @chrissusmissus @dvmb-whxre @daddydraco0 @quicksilversthings @thechoosenonecreator @rosellia-hudsons @lokirogersgirl @333vadubios

A couple of days later Natasha came by with a DVD player and a stack of movies. “I got about half of your list — even that should keep your busy for weeks,” she greeted us, then turned to Steve. “Never pegged you as a Disney guy, Rogers.” “Glad our relationship still retains some mystery,” he shot back with an easy grin. Natasha’s eyes widened infinitesimally, her gaze flickering between the two of us. “What have you done to him? I’ve never seen this man so chill in my life.” I chuckled awkwardly, heat rising in my cheeks. “Well, ya know how it is. Give a man a cute cottage and some books and suddenly his inner snappy Belle breaks out.” She stared at me for a moment, then burst into roaring laughter. “I like this one,” she said to Steve as she shouldered him out of the way to carry in our things. Our eyes met and I found a strange expression behind his amusement. “Yeah, me too,” he mumbled so softly I feared I had imagined it. Then Natasha dropped her big box onto the kitchen counter, breaking the spell.

“Other than this treasure trove of entertainment I’m also bringing some good news.” “And what’s that?” Steve asked, closing the door before gently guiding me towards his colleague. My skin caught on fire where his hand grazed the small of my back and I tried to ignore his comforting scent around me. A rather impossible task. “Okamoto called. They actually got some good leads on Parker. If all goes well, you’ve only got a few days left here.” “Oh,” I whispered. “Wow.” “Yeah, exciting stuff. I’m sure that’ll be a massive load off your shoulders.” “Definitely.” What I couldn’t tell her was that if that load was finally lifted, another heavy one would settle in its place. My old life seemed light years away and without Steve I wasn’t sure it would ever feel like home again. “So you might wanna get cracking on your little cinema experience soon.” She winked at us. “I put some popcorn in there as well.” “Thanks, Nat,” Steve said, his voice a little rough around the edges. “You’re the best.” “And don’t I know it.” She snatched one of the cookies we had made, then sauntered back towards the door. “Be good, kids. I’ll let you know if there’s any new developments.”

A long moment of silence followed her departure. Thoughts whirled around my brain at a million miles per second. I tried to convince myself that these were indeed good news. That with Parker safely behind bars I might finally be able to sleep through the night again. That I would soon see my friends, go back to work and… And what? With some distance I felt nothing but stuck in a life that wasn’t really leading anywhere. Talking about my past with Steve had brought up things I hadn’t allowed myself to fully feel in a very long time. I had been pushing them down for so long without realising how their leaden weight had held me in the same place for years. “How are you feeling?” I flinched, then slowly looked up at Steve. He was close, studying me with concern. “Strange. Relieved, I guess. But I…” My lip began to quiver. “I’m not sure if… if I can just go back.” “Yeah. I understand.” And when his eyes sank into mine I felt that he actually did. After all these hours together he could read me better than I was able to. I blinked away tears, gluing my gaze to the floorboards. “Would you like to talk about it?” “I don’t think so. Not now.” “Okay.” Out of habit I once more glanced at the piano. The strange object that was both siren and anchor in this room, calling out to me with the same force as the old piano in my house once had. I could almost see my younger self on that stool, my mom by my side, both of us smiling while treading the familiar path of a duet. “May I play something?” I surprised myself with the question spilling from my lips before the thought had even fully formed. I felt more than saw Steve nod, apparently too stunned to reply. A strange itch consumed me from the inside out, born of frustration and restlessness, of panic and longing. I didn’t know what I wanted to play, only that I needed to play, to sing, anything to release this painful tension. With newfound purpose I marched over to the piano, snapped it open and began to play before I had even fully sat down. Song after song poured out of me and I had never been so thankful for all the composers and lyricists who had labored to condense these emotions I could barely name into timeless ballads. Waving Through a Window turned into Santa Fe, then into Where Did the Rock Go. By the time I finally had to take a breath and stretch out my shaking fingers, I felt lighter, almost floating.

Steve had sat down on the sofa, watching me with a certain kind of wonder when I dared to turn to him. “Sorry about th—“ “No. Absolutely not. Don’t apologize.” He inhaled deeply, then gave me the softest of smiles. “That was incredible.” I blushed, my hands a tangled mess in my lap. “And it seemed very cathartic.” “Yeah. It really was.” I shrugged. “That’s one of the many reasons I’ve always loved musicals. There’s a song for every emotion, every situation. It’s not just the same tired pop songs you’ve heard a thousand times in a thousand variations. Theatre songs tell stories, real stories. Even mine.” Steve nodded thoughtfully. “I used to like that, too.” “But you’d forgotten.” “Somehow yes.” “I think I kind of had as well. Until that… outburst on our first day here. I used to do that all the time, just express whatever I was feeling through a specific song.” “People always find it weird when characters in a film or on stage do that but honestly, maybe we’d be a better society if everyone could just let out their feelings through song every now and then.” We both grinned. Steve sat back in the sofa, his legs casually pulled up beneath him. I once more marveled at the domesticity of our strange arrangement. “Would you mind doing a few more songs?” “Really?” “Only if you want to.” I was stunned to find that I did in fact want to. As if a dam had broken inside, letting something to flow through me that I hadn’t felt in ages. I nodded fervently. “Okay, you seem to really like ballads. So what's the saddest song from a musical?” “Wow, going right where it hurts, huh?” I blew out some air, contemplating for a few seconds. “There's so many good ones. And obviously the ones you relate to most hit the hardest. But a classic would be Empty Chairs at Empty Tables from Les Mis.” “What's that one about?” Steve smirked. “A failing restaurant?” “Not quite. Wait, let's see if I can still play it.” I sat down at the piano and ran my fingers over the keys, closing my eyes as I tried to recall the notes.

“There's a grief that can't be spoken,” I began softly. “There's a pain goes on and on. Empty chairs at empty tables. Now my friends are dead and gone… Here they talked of revolution. Here it was they lit the flame. Here they sang about tomorrow and tomorrow never came.” I slowly increased the volume in both my voice and the piano, getting lost in the piece. “From the table in the corner they could see a world reborn. And they rose with voices ringing and I can hear them now. The very words that they had sung became their last communion on this lonely barricade at dawn. Oh my friends, my friends, forgive me that I live and you are gone. There's a grief that can't be spoken, there's a pain goes on and on. Phantom faces at the window, phantom shadows on the floor. Empty chairs at empty tables where my friends will meet no more. Oh my friends, my friends, don't ask me what your sacrifice was for. Empty chairs at empty tables where my friends will sing no more…” I let the last note ring out for a long moment, revelling in the ballad’s echo. And then I heard it. Broken sobs. I spun around, my gaze flying to Steve. His cheeks glistened with tears, teeth buried in his bottom lip to stifle the violent noises almost breaking through. “Hey, hey…” I whispered in shock. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—” A breath later I found myself kneeling in front of him, my hands gently holding his clammy, trembling ones. “Steve, I'm so sorry.” He shook his head and took a shuddering breath, falling back into the couch. I moved to sit beside him, trying to keep some distance but he never let go of my hands. We sat like that for a long time, our knees pressed together, while Steve slowly calmed himself. My thumbs kept caressing his knuckles, as naturally as breathing. “You were right, it hits much harder when you relate to it,” he eventually said, voice raspy from crying. I glanced up at his bloodshot eyes. “Will you tell me about it?”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

MASTERLIST

[lilacprentiss]

tumblr may be done w me but im not done w this :/

‘you always did kiss me goodbye’ heart = broken😔💔

‘i remember the day you bought that, too. i remember everything, spencer’ ‘why don’t you?’ <- that whole thing ???? im actually im emotional distress

‘im supposed to remember everything aren’t i?’ im going to walk into traffic <3

‘i don’t want it to protect me’ <- THAT WHOLE PASSAGE ????? BYE I CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE

‘our last kiss. our goodbye kiss’ pain… so much pain 😔

‘solace’ i ? wow ? i need a minute to recover

solace <3 solace :/ going to scream

but athena, AHHHHHH this story was so so perfect! from beginning to end, it was beautiful and so heartbreaking. you have wizard writing skills and i adore them and you! also… pay for my therapy xoxox

amplified feelings

[summary] based on 4x24, amplification. what the fuck was the use of an eidetic memory if he couldn't pull out the memory he wanted to at the exact moment he needed to? [pairing] spencer reid + fem!reader [warnings] talks of sickness [category] angst with the tiniest sprinkle of fluff, maybe a little hurt/comfort [word count] 1.6k

[a/n] i've always loved amplification fics, i tried to find them before i even started writing fics myself, so to finally write one was a lot of fun. it was inspired by a quote from grey’s anatomy and it was supposed to be fluff but look how that turned out. biggest thank you to my beta bae jay for lending me another braincell <3 i hope u like it! masterlist

spencer reid was always one for facts, not feelings. it was easier that way. facts were quantifiable, counterchecked, and undoubtedly real. feelings were messy, subjective, and unreliable.

so, he was left stunned, when in the presumptively last hour of his life, he was thinking about you.

garcia’s voice was despondent, her upset like a hand moving to comfort him the best she could. “gee, wow, no, uh, no witty garcia greeting for me?” he forced out. “i can’t be my sparkly self when you are where you are.” he could feel her sadness beginning to infect his already infected self. as he could feel his brain starting to fog up, he knew he had to do what he needed to before anything else. “garcia, do you think you can do something for me?”

as he began to record the message to his mother, he could feel the pain in his voice rising through the surface. he forced himself to focus on the remaining functionality he had left. and as he and kimura searched for the cure, he felt his body grow heavy with every breath. if only he could see you, if he could talk to you, to feel you against his skin.

he grew fearful with every heave, scared that the thought of you would slip from his fingers and be replaced with the touch of death.

“my throat’s a little dry. but other than that, i feel..flee..feel fin-” he pushed his tongue to cooperate as he tried to vocalize the simple three words he wanted to say. words were his only mastered method of communication—he attached a piece of him to every crisp consonant pronounced, and every vowel that rolled off his tongue. he was now stripped of it, left with nothing but incoherent sounds, struggling to string together any letter that he could. kimura could feel the frustration radiating off of him, and she urged the driver to go faster.

the sirens of the ambulance grew softer as your sobbing became an isolated sound, ringing in his ears.

“spencer, please, don’t leave. we can figure this out, i swear we can.”

he felt the words sear his mind deeper and deeper as things went quiet. your voice echoed, its imaginary soundwaves bouncing the walls of his mind.

somehow, the whisper of your words was amplified.

and that whisper pushed everything down. in a matter of milliseconds, the thoughts, the moments, the memories, and all the feelings came back to him, tearing down the walls he worked so hard to build. as if in the greatest drought possible, the flood of you came back to him, and there was no more space for him to breathe. no escape.

he blacked out at the thought of you, exhaustion hitting him all at once.

hazy, his mind searched through its archives for his last touch of you. his last kiss. nothing. absolutely nothing.

what the fuck was the use of an eidetic memory if he couldn’t pull out the memory he wanted to at the exact moment he needed to?

was it raining? it felt like it was raining. he could distinctly remember the rain pattering. or, no, was that construction on the street? were you in his living room? there are pillows. they’re on the floor. that might be his bedroom. you’re pacing the room and your hair is disheveled. he can only remember your face. your pretty, pretty face. oh, how he could stare at it until the sun set and the darkness trickled in. and although he didn’t believe in god, he prayed that your hair would get in front of your face so he could brush it behind again and again, and relive the feeling of seeing your face for the first time. no, focus. did she kiss you before she left? did she give you that honor? a final blessing, a final goodbye? or was the only thing you received from her lips the words that scorned you for days to come?

now he remembered why he pushed you away. because at every thought of you, all he had to hang on to, at the last minute of you, was pain.

ironic, isn’t it? that when he can physically feel himself rotting and each centimeter of his body crying out, he is left to his thoughts and even that couldn’t bring him solace.

when he woke, the sudden, fluorescent light struck him harder than ever. aching, boring spots into his vision, it contrasted from the feeling in his throat, the lightness that his body now had after the cure. and although it ached to speak, he needed to tell morgan. “can you call garcia?”

morgan knew not to prod, and brought out his phone to call her immediately. “you were going to live, i told you you were going to live.” her voice picked up. “thank you, garcia. i-uh, i have another favor to ask.” though his voice quivered, he was surer than ever.

you arrived to the hospital, your pulse louder than the chatter streaming through the hallways. spencer’s job inevitably entailed injuries, and when you were dating, you knew how to emotionally prepare yourself for it. but now was different. on good days, your mind did its best to hang on to reality, and on bad days, you fought the urge to be left to your imagination. so to finally see him again, in the worst condition you could possibly hope for, it was just too much.

as the nurse directed you to his room, and morgan knew to let you through the wall of guards, you finally landed eyes on the man who held every single feeling of yours in the palm of his hand.

the color slowly returning to face did no job in soothing your worries. the fluorescents and hospital gown washed him out, his face becoming devoid of any semblance of himself.

but he saw you, too. and god, did it all come back to him.

the late nights you’d spend waiting for him after cases, the sleepy and breathy ‘i love you’ you would whisper before bed, the sacred mornings of quiet and coffee, and the purest, loveliest, most meaningful kisses goodbye.

the kisses spoke a million words unsaid, the syllables, instead, hanging on to the thin skin of your lips. hello, goodbye, i love you, i’ll see you later, i want to be with you, i can’t wait to be with you, you’re my tomorrow.

“how are you?” your voice sung.

he finally had another piece of you to hang on to, to archive, to selfishly keep for himself when things got quiet.

“doctors say i’ll make a speedy recovery.” he attempted to be jubilant.

you sighed. “why did you call me, spencer?”

it was a good question. he was still wrapping his head around the why, but he felt the reasons spilling in his head. it was because of one thing, one thought that set everything off, and he couldn’t bear function if he ignored it.

“i was going to die.” he hesitated. and as your face softened, he knew that he wanted nothing more than to be vulnerable with you and be honest. you always were the only person who would listen to him.

“i was going to die and i couldn’t remember our last kiss.”

you felt the heaviest breath leave your lungs, wisping up into the air and dissipating into the cloud of words he left there to hang.

“it was a sunday. the day you left.” you waited for a signal to continue, and he pursed his lips. he was listening. “it was a sunday, and it was raining. and i’ve always loved the rain, but god, i’ve hated it since.” your slight exasperation dripped into your voice. “you said we couldn’t do this, and-and i cried, and i told you that we could figure it out.” you paused, trying to hold back any tears from forming. you’ve cried too much already. “i told you we could figure it out, and you grabbed your bag and planned to leave. so i held your wrist back, and i asked you to kiss me one last time.”

“you always did kiss me goodbye.” he said. “i did, and i tried to tell myself that this wasn’t any different, that i’d see you again after work or after your case. and so you kissed me, and i could taste salt, from my tears. and i could smell your cologne. mahogany and cinnamon. i remember the day you bought that, too. i remember everything, spencer.” you stifled a nervous laugh. “why don’t you?”

“i don’t know. i’m supposed to remember everything, aren’t i?”

you wanted to hold his hand, to carry his pain. “that’s what i thought, but maybe it’s just different when your brain is protecting itself?”

“i don’t want it to protect me.” he said, not an ounce of hesitation in his voice. “if protection means i end up scouring my thoughts for a real, lasting memory of you, then that’s not a protection i want.”

“do you want to change the memory, then?” you asked. “of what?”

“our last kiss. our goodbye kiss.”

spencer was silent, brooding, thinking. his thoughts were as quiet as they could be, so he could focus on everything else.

he’d remember the light, the sounds of the corridor, the way the sheets felt on his skin, the way the horrid hospital smell was unavoidable, the way he wanted water. most of all, he’d remember you, how you could fill all of his senses at one simple touch.

as you inched nearer and nearer, spencer closed his eyes, his thoughts switching to focus on you, to isolate the sights, sounds, smells, feelings, and taste, making everything come down to this one, final, fleeting moment. the touch of your lips.

solace.

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[meowcatsposts]

For You [Tang Yun]

╰►content warning: themes of slight obsession

Overview

He wanted to have you

All of you

He wanted to take you away from his brother

Because you were slipping from his grasp

You were his medication, almost

And he’ll never let you go

Tang Yun adored you. Ever since he saw the fear strike your eyes, when turning to the Shadow Decree, he was never the same; he could never be. He’d envision that same, terrified expression and shiver in pure ecstasy, wishing to see that glassy expression again, to caress all of your fragile body–all of it. Oh, there were so many things left undone, untouched, in his innocently devilish opinion.

To Tang Yun, you were the only one who even bothered to distinguish between the Tang twins when they were little. So, it was only natural he came to you, practically crawling on his knees in bliss. And he never, ever liked to share. Sometimes, he’d get into ugly fights–verbal and, at times, physical–with his brother, Tang Xuan, over who got to spend more time with you. Yet, when you’d part your lips and utter even a breath, the scrapping ceased, and Tang Yun especially, would listen to every word you had to offer. 

“Please!” you’d say, exasperated. “Can’t we come up with something so we can all be happy?”

If it was for your happiness, he’d do anything–even if it meant sharing. So, begrudgingly, Tang Yun released you from his love’s vice grip, and helped you ‘think of a solution,’ as you’d always plead.

Then one day, something spectacular happened. They were blessed! Tang Xuan, by Sun Wukong, and Tang Yun, by the Six-Eared Macaque. Finally, the twins were distinguishable! Oh, how their hearts bursted with glee, eyes shining in delight. And, Tang Yun, being the attached puppy he was, bounded to report the breathtaking news to you. He wanted your eyes to burn with tears, your mouth to cry in joy for him. Wasn’t this so fortunate?

“Oh, wow!” you exclaimed, prancing around, touching his blue braids and examining his ears. “Your wish came true!”

Tang Yun fiddled with his staff, cheeks a bright, rosy red. “Right…? Now you don’t need to work as hard anymore.”

“Yeah, I guess so…but I’ll always remember, regardless of appearance!” Your warm smile and assuring song brought joy to his delicate heart. “Oh, and what about Tang Xuan?”

One.

Tang Yun froze. Why did you bring up his brother, his zealous brother, who abandoned him to pursue so-called justice? The thought of his own flesh and blood, flaunting his prowess and charging recklessly into battle, made Tang Yun’s skin crawl. Heart brimming with chagrin and rage, he gripped the iron pole behind his back, cracking an ever tiny smile. Oh, if it wasn’t for you, he’d be screaming and crying and thrashing around, throwing a deadly tantrum.

“Tang Yun, look! Wasn’t that so cool?”

Two.

Tang Xuan’s overly excited voice rang throughout his brother’s ears. Tang Yun grimaced quietly, ears twitching, as he nodded along halfheartedly. Why did his brother care so much about progress? Then, he heard soft footsteps–familiar footsteps. You came to visit! Bag of goodies dangling from your fingers you greeted them each so sweetly, and they bounded up to you–Tang Yun being the first to peek into the bag (he had always been). He smiled woozily at the treats it contained, then to you, suppressing the urge to squeeze you right then and there.

“Thank you (Y/N)!” the twins said in unison. Their eyes gleamed with glee as they dug eagerly into their respective puddings.

Tang Yun, so absorbed in his adoration and love, always looked forward to seeing you; his six ears always perked up at your footsteps, which he became accustomed to discern. At least he knew he couldn’t lose you. He never planned to, anyway, even if it meant dragging you into the dark, bottomless pit that was his growing heart and desire. Finding solace in your gift, he smiled, gazing at the dark swirls in his pudding cup.

“Don’t overwork yourself, please,” you reminded the red-haired Tang twin. “The last time, you almost…” 

Tang Yun’s ears twitched. Dread pooled in his gut.

“Oh, don’t worry (Y/N)!” said Tang Xuan, as he nonchalantly brandished his pole. “I’ll be fine from now on, I promise!”

Three.

Promise? Pinky promises. Broken.

Snip.

Crimson clouded Tang Yun’s eyes. Spite boiled in his veins. Who was Tang Xuan, an overzealous fool, to take what was rightfully his? Blinded by his romance with justice, his brother never even batted an eye to your cries of worry, always brushing them off with a simple smile. Had he ever thought, even the tiniest bit, about what his own blood felt, so small and lonely, with so little to hang on to? A shrill scream escaped Tang Yun’s lips as he tore you away from his brother’s hands. Oh, he’d never forget the look in your eyes, filled to the brim with fear; he wanted to taste how sweet those tears were, rolling from your lashes. 

Tang Xuan stared at his brother with cracked ruby eyes, expression aghast and grief-stricken. 

“Tang Yun-”

Perhaps this was the last straw. He absolutely did not want to let you slip from his grasp, because you were the only salvation left in his heart, the only stable pillar in this storm. Once and for all, he’d get to hog all your riches, and your sweet, sweet remedy. Yet, your sobs–your cries of anguish–reverberated throughout his head, through his entire being. Tang Yun hesitated. Why hesitate, of all things? He could simply whisk you away to the shadows and never let you see the light of day, but why–

“Please…Tang Yun…” He felt you shaking against him, so scared, so afraid. Gently, he stroked your hair and hushed you, murmuring sweet nothings in your ear, out of his brother’s earshot.

Slowly and painfully, Tang Yun peeled you off himself, letting your heavy fingers slip from his. 

One day, he vowed to return. And when he does, he’d properly steal you away.

Tang Yun stormed out, the rest of the chocolate pudding left untouched.

purple dividers provided by: @firefly-graphics

[a-reader-and-a-writer]

Thank You, Colonel Flag

Fandom: DC, The Suicide Squad, Rick Flag, f!reader

Word Count: 1408

TW: Fluff, No Relationship, Mentions of Past Injuries, Self-Indulgent Writing

Notes: I made this post earlier for the one-year anniversary of The Suicide Squad being released and the unexpected ways it changed my life. Along those lines, this is sort of my thank you letter for Rick set 1 year after the movie.

As Rick sat in the waiting room of the ARGUS medical facility, he wanted nothing more than to be as far away from this place as possible. Exactly one year ago to the day, he had been rushed through the doors of this place, barely clinging to life. The doctors were still astonished he had survived, but Rick had never given up on anything and he damn sure wasn’t going to start when his life was on the line. Rick absentmindedly rubbed the scar on his chest through his tight shirt as he thought about how hard he had struggled those first few days, fading in and out of consciousness. But in the end, he pulled through.

Once it had become clear he was going to survive, Waller had given him two choices: one, be dishonorably discharged and blacklisted from any job in his line of work ever again, or two, rejoin ARGUS and lead the next generation of Task Force X. To Rick, it seemed as if he hadn’t really been given a choice at all. As soon as his doctors had given the all-clear, he had been back at his same old desk at Belle Reve, spending most days just staring at the dark letters of Amanda Waller’s name on her office door directly across from him. Knowing he was once again trapped under Waller’s thumb was a punishment all on its own.

To make matters worse, it infuriated Rick that Pissmaker was out there somewhere on less of a leash than he was. And not only that, but he had lost Harcourt and Economos to that jackass as well. Harcourt could be a stone-cold bitch and Economos never took anything seriously, but the three of them had built a strange sort of comradery over the last five or so years they had been working together. However, now they were babysitting Smith on the other side of the country, and he was left to deal with Waller alone. The only solace Rick took in the situation was everyone decided to keep his survival from the other man. It did bring him some small satisfaction knowing Smith had to still carry the guilt of Rick’s death with him. From the reports Rick had seen, there was a chance that guilt had actually made him a slightly better person, though Rick doubted that.

“Colonel Flag? Colonel Rick Flag?”

Rick was startled out of his reminiscing and self-pity by an unfamiliar voice. Glancing up, he saw you standing over him, anxiously biting your lip. When you saw he had your attention, you smiled warmly though you were obviously still nervous. “Hi. I’m really sorry to bother you. I know you probably don’t remember me, but we met a year ago. You saved me down in Corto Maltese.”

Suddenly, Rick saw a flash of your wide eyes staring at him through cell bars, one of the only remaining humans in a room full of monsters. And he realized exactly who you were and why you looked so familiar. He shifted in his chair, trying not to show the discomfort he felt every time he was reminded of that day. In a curt yet not unkind tone, he nodded and said, “That’s right. You were one of the people down in the basement of Jötunheim who hadn’t been experimented on yet.”

Your face lit up even brighter. “Wow! You do remember. Given everything that happened that day, everyone else you saved too, I didn’t think…..” You ducked your head as you once again began nervously chewing on your lip.

“Do you wanna sit down?” Rick motioned to the empty seat next to him, but you shook your head.

“Thank you, but I don’t want to bother you more than I already am. I just saw you and I couldn’t pass up this opportunity to talk to you. In all honesty, I’ve been trying to work up the courage to track you down all year and when I turned around and saw you just now….. it seemed like fate.”

Rick’s brow creased in confusion. “Do we have some unfinished business I don’t know about?”

“Um, I guess in a way you could say that.” Despite your earlier objection, you sat down next to Rick before taking a deep breath and staring him straight in the eye. “I wanted to thank you… for everything. I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for you. I had been in an awful place for a while and if you hadn’t come along, my life would have ended up very differently.” You placed your open hand in front of your face so it resembled one of Starro’s baby face-huggers before shuttering at the implication. “I owe you everything and I’m just glad I finally got to thank you for that.”

Rick felt his face growing warm under your praise. “I was just doin’ my job, ma’am. But I appreciate you sayin’ somethin’.”

You smiled again before your face sobered and you glanced down at your lap. “Originally, I heard on the news that you had died in that hellhole. I felt really guilty for a while. I tried to tell myself they were mistaken. I thought of a hundred different ways you might have survived, ways you could have miraculously escaped. I couldn’t accept that the man who saved me was really gone. Turns out, I was right, and I am so glad that you’re okay.” You reached over and gave his hand a soft squeeze before standing up. “Anyway, I’ve taken up enough of your time and they should be calling me soon. But thank you again, Colonel Flag.”

Rick gave you a cheerful smile. “You can just call me Rick, and are you okay? I mean, this is an ARGUS medical facility after all.”

You laughed softly as you said, “Oh, yeah! I’m just here for my annual employee physical.”

All the warm feelings that had been building in Rick’s chest suddenly chilled. “You work for ARGUS?”

You nodded. “Well, I do now. Once you are held prisoner in a secret US government laboratory built on foreign soil with the sole intention to experiment on you, the government isn’t too keen on letting you return to your old life. Especially when you’re a writer. So, I was given a choice. Work for ARGUS and keep everything I knew a secret, or they would throw me in a place that made that laboratory look like a day spa. The choice wasn’t very hard to make.”

“Yeah, I know that feeling. I’m so sorry that happened,” Rick muttered softly. He had thought he was the only person ARGUS had under its thumb. He never considered there might be others though he probably should have.

But you just smiled. “It’s okay. I ended up meeting a group of people within ARGUS who were in the same boat as me. We’ve really connected, and we’ve become a sort of family after bonding over what happened. Now they’ve become some of the closest people in my life.” You shook your head with a small chuckle. “You know, if you would have told me a year ago that this was going to be my life, I wouldn’t have believed you. Yet, I’m happier than I have been in a really long time and I wouldn’t change that for anything. So, thank you, Rick, for everything you gave me that day. I’ll never forget it.”

With one final smile and nod of your head, you turned and disappeared into the crowd of people by the front door.

Rick leaned back in his seat as he thought about everything you had just said. Suddenly, he realized he was once again rubbing the scar on his chest. And yet, for the first time, the reminder of that day didn’t bother him as much. In fact, he felt a soft smile tugging at his lips.

Looking up at the spot he had last seen you before you blended into the crowd, Rick thought maybe it was just a coincidence you had found him today. Maybe it was nothing more than a random scheduling happenstance. Or maybe it was fate, giving each of you a little bit of comfort, a little bit of closure, that you both had needed.

As Rick heard his name called and he headed back to the examination room, he thought that maybe today wasn’t such a terrible day after all.

Taglist: @loverhymeswith, @babblydrabbly, @lorecraft, @nerdysuperchick, @heart-0n-fire, @green-socks, @yespolkadotkitty, @marvelousmermaid, @heresathreebee, @ed-baldwin, @lacontroller1991, @merlehs, @sunshineflowerchild789, @mayhem24-7forever, @lovearne, @sociiallydiisoriiented, @fairchildflag @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy, @bewitchedignition, @katjnordstrom96

[a-reader-and-a-writer-for-all]

Thank You, Colonel Flag

Fandom: DC, The Suicide Squad, Rick Flag, f!reader

Word Count: 1408

TW: Fluff, No Relationship, Mentions of Past Injuries, Self-Indulgent Writing

Notes: I made this post earlier for the one-year anniversary of The Suicide Squad being released and the unexpected ways it changed my life. Along those lines, this is sort of my thank you letter for Rick set 1 year after the movie.

As Rick sat in the waiting room of the ARGUS medical facility, he wanted nothing more than to be as far away from this place as possible. Exactly one year ago to the day, he had been rushed through the doors of this place, barely clinging to life. The doctors were still astonished he had survived, but Rick had never given up on anything and he damn sure wasn’t going to start when his life was on the line. Rick absentmindedly rubbed the scar on his chest through his tight shirt as he thought about how hard he had struggled those first few days, fading in and out of consciousness. But in the end, he pulled through.

Once it had become clear he was going to survive, Waller had given him two choices: one, be dishonorably discharged and blacklisted from any job in his line of work ever again, or two, rejoin ARGUS and lead the next generation of Task Force X. To Rick, it seemed as if he hadn’t really been given a choice at all. As soon as his doctors had given the all-clear, he had been back at his same old desk at Belle Reve, spending most days just staring at the dark letters of Amanda Waller’s name on her office door directly across from him. Knowing he was once again trapped under Waller’s thumb was a punishment all on its own.

To make matters worse, it infuriated Rick that Pissmaker was out there somewhere on less of a leash than he was. And not only that, but he had lost Harcourt and Economos to that jackass as well. Harcourt could be a stone-cold bitch and Economos never took anything seriously, but the three of them had built a strange sort of comradery over the last five or so years they had been working together. However, now they were babysitting Smith on the other side of the country, and he was left to deal with Waller alone. The only solace Rick took in the situation was everyone decided to keep his survival from the other man. It did bring him some small satisfaction knowing Smith had to still carry the guilt of Rick’s death with him. From the reports Rick had seen, there was a chance that guilt had actually made him a slightly better person, though Rick doubted that.

“Colonel Flag? Colonel Rick Flag?”

Rick was startled out of his reminiscing and self-pity by an unfamiliar voice. Glancing up, he saw you standing over him, anxiously biting your lip. When you saw he had your attention, you smiled warmly though you were obviously still nervous. “Hi. I’m really sorry to bother you. I know you probably don’t remember me, but we met a year ago. You saved me down in Corto Maltese.”

Suddenly, Rick saw a flash of your wide eyes staring at him through cell bars, one of the only remaining humans in a room full of monsters. And he realized exactly who you were and why you looked so familiar. He shifted in his chair, trying not to show the discomfort he felt every time he was reminded of that day. In a curt yet not unkind tone, he nodded and said, “That’s right. You were one of the people down in the basement of Jötunheim who hadn’t been experimented on yet.”

Your face lit up even brighter. “Wow! You do remember. Given everything that happened that day, everyone else you saved too, I didn’t think…..” You ducked your head as you once again began nervously chewing on your lip.

“Do you wanna sit down?” Rick motioned to the empty seat next to him, but you shook your head.

“Thank you, but I don’t want to bother you more than I already am. I just saw you and I couldn’t pass up this opportunity to talk to you. In all honesty, I’ve been trying to work up the courage to track you down all year and when I turned around and saw you just now….. it seemed like fate.”

Rick’s brow creased in confusion. “Do we have some unfinished business I don’t know about?”

“Um, I guess in a way you could say that.” Despite your earlier objection, you sat down next to Rick before taking a deep breath and staring him straight in the eye. “I wanted to thank you… for everything. I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for you. I had been in an awful place for a while and if you hadn’t come along, my life would have ended up very differently.” You placed your open hand in front of your face so it resembled one of Starro’s baby face-huggers before shuttering at the implication. “I owe you everything and I’m just glad I finally got to thank you for that.”

Rick felt his face growing warm under your praise. “I was just doin’ my job, ma’am. But I appreciate you sayin’ somethin’.”

You smiled again before your face sobered and you glanced down at your lap. “Originally, I heard on the news that you had died in that hellhole. I felt really guilty for a while. I tried to tell myself they were mistaken. I thought of a hundred different ways you might have survived, ways you could have miraculously escaped. I couldn’t accept that the man who saved me was really gone. Turns out, I was right, and I am so glad that you’re okay.” You reached over and gave his hand a soft squeeze before standing up. “Anyway, I’ve taken up enough of your time and they should be calling me soon. But thank you again, Colonel Flag.”

Rick gave you a cheerful smile. “You can just call me Rick, and are you okay? I mean, this is an ARGUS medical facility after all.”

You laughed softly as you said, “Oh, yeah! I’m just here for my annual employee physical.”

All the warm feelings that had been building in Rick’s chest suddenly chilled. “You work for ARGUS?”

You nodded. “Well, I do now. Once you are held prisoner in a secret US government laboratory built on foreign soil with the sole intention to experiment on you, the government isn’t too keen on letting you return to your old life. Especially when you’re a writer. So, I was given a choice. Work for ARGUS and keep everything I knew a secret, or they would throw me in a place that made that laboratory look like a day spa. The choice wasn’t very hard to make.”

“Yeah, I know that feeling. I’m so sorry that happened,” Rick muttered softly. He had thought he was the only person ARGUS had under its thumb. He never considered there might be others though he probably should have.

But you just smiled. “It’s okay. I ended up meeting a group of people within ARGUS who were in the same boat as me. We’ve really connected, and we’ve become a sort of family after bonding over what happened. Now they’ve become some of the closest people in my life.” You shook your head with a small chuckle. “You know, if you would have told me a year ago that this was going to be my life, I wouldn’t have believed you. Yet, I’m happier than I have been in a really long time and I wouldn’t change that for anything. So, thank you, Rick, for everything you gave me that day. I’ll never forget it.”

With one final smile and nod of your head, you turned and disappeared into the crowd of people by the front door.

Rick leaned back in his seat as he thought about everything you had just said. Suddenly, he realized he was once again rubbing the scar on his chest. And yet, for the first time, the reminder of that day didn’t bother him as much. In fact, he felt a soft smile tugging at his lips.

Looking up at the spot he had last seen you before you blended into the crowd, Rick thought maybe it was just a coincidence you had found him today. Maybe it was nothing more than a random scheduling happenstance. Or maybe it was fate, giving each of you a little bit of comfort, a little bit of closure, that you both had needed.

As Rick heard his name called and he headed back to the examination room, he thought that maybe today wasn’t such a terrible day after all.

Taglist: @nik2blog, @dumb-fawkin-bitch, @shirley2996

[mrpenguinpants]

Xiao and Diluc: Opposites Attract HCs

Minor spoilers for Xiao’s and Diluc’s backstory.

Yes, more xiao content. Oh and Diluc. Diluc is there too. I wonder who my favourite child is? Honestly, it’s probably Childe. Every time I write “child” I end up misspelling it to “childe”. It’s consumed me. But yes anon I love the opposites attract trope. It’s so nice having person A be this cute cinnamon roll and person B is the ew don’t touch me go away I hate you, just mwah 💕

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Today’s appreciation post goes to imlikemoony. My entire reblog notifications have just been you and thanks for the spam haha. I love seeing new people go through my work and enjoy it so thank you^^ Please don’t feel like this is a callout post I swear it isn’t 💕💕

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Xiao Semi Series

[ Friendship ] [ Falling in Love ] [ Cuddles ] [ Protective ] [ Affection ] [ Jealously ]

Diluc HCs

[ Comfort HCs ] [ Relationship HCs ] [ Being Fathers HCs ] [ Jealously HCs ] [ Unrequited Love HCs ] [ String of Fate [Soulmate] ]  [ Fainting ]

[Masterlist]

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[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@hanniejji  @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @twistedsunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @youaskedfurret @snowy224 @mayumintsu​ @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki @legionqueensav

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Xiao and Diluc: Opposites Attract HCs

Xiao

It occurs to Xiao one day that despite being alive for centuries, he doesn’t know a lot of people. Xiao has only known Rex Lapis and his fellow adepti and only just recently introduced this life to others such as Verr and Ming. It never bothered him and still doesn’t, he prefers his life to be peaceful and in solitude since it’s safer that way, but when you crash into his life with all your unrestrained energy. He’s a bit of a loss for words. The only other person he knows that acts similar is Guizhong, but it’s still a bit of a troubling memory but either then that, he’s never interacted with someone so...open with their feelings. Though he supposes that Hu Tao was somewhat similar but in a different way. Unlike the craziness and exasperated actions that Hu Tao brought, your presence was a breath of fresh air and sometimes he found himself caught up in your antics.

When Xiao thinks about it, if he were to ever find love he suspected he would prefer someone who was calm and independent. He wasn’t the most affectionate so he wouldn’t want a partner that relied on that and he liked the peace and quiet the inn provided. That was until he saved you one day and you felt it was your absolute responsibility to return the favour, even though he told you many times that you really did not need to. If you wanted to return the favour you could leave him alone. Simple as that. Which didn’t work and in hindsight he was glad you were so stubborn to hang around until you managed to find out his favourite food was almond tofu.

The moment that set in stone Xiao’s love for you is when he told you his past. When he was named Atalus. How he had been possessed and forced to kill against his will. How he devoured dreams and lived in agony before he was saved by Rex Lapis. He was scared that you would fear and leave him, only for you to slowly lace your hands with his and wept for his own misfortune. He’s never had someone cry for him and he realized that he never wanted to see you upset like this again.

At first your larger than life personality put him off a bit, how could someone run through life as if nothing was wrong? What would happen if you finally faced loss? Wouldn’t that make things worse? It wasn’t until he spent more time with you that he saw your point of view, that while he couldn’t adopt the same idea, he respected it and began to appreciate it. It was nice having some sort of solace in his day even if it was just for a few minutes. Something to get his mind of the darker things while you start chatting about this really nice old lady with a domain sized teapot.  

Though, there was a bit of a downside to this. Since you bared your heart on your sleeve, perhaps in Mondstadt it would seem normal but here in Liyue, everyone hid behind some kind of mask so people found you a bit naïve and would try and hassle you. It always sent Xiao into a worried state when you left the inn to go out on your next adventure. Verr likes to compare him to a cat waiting for it’s owner at the door, but as soon as they return he acts so moody as if he wasn’t waiting at the balcony trying to see if he could see your clothing peak over the hill. He has no idea how she comes up with these ridiculous ideas.

Another “downside” Xiao discovers is that you have mini bursts of affection. You describe it as a those anemo slimes that pop when you shoot them, morbid as that description is, you’re not wrong. Your bursts of affection always manage to startle and embarrass Xiao, especially when he was with others. He wasn’t going to tell you to change yourself, never will he do that, but when you clasp his hands and tell him with all your love and shining eyes that he’s “doing such a good job” and “you’re so proud of him”. He wants to melt because wow, he never noticed how much he values your praise and how it sends his heart flying. But he can’t because Childe and Zhongli are right there.

Zhongli smiles pleasantly while Childe looses his absolute shit, which causes Xiao to kick his spear at Childe because he refuses to let go of your hands and hisses at him. Even when you try and scold him it doesn’t last long because this has become a weekly occurrence. Only now Xiao will give you a quick kiss before he goes off to gut Childe while you and Zhongli wave pleasantly and talk about how the weather is faring. Everyone that isn’t a native to Liyue think’s you’re all insane as they hear Childe’s screams as Xiao attempts first degree murder.

It interesting to see you both interact to outsiders. Xiao has his piercing yellow eyes and reserved demeanor while you’re this sweet and bright person. Before Xiao met you, people could never get a good look at the mysterious man that stays in the top balcony of the Wangshu Inn. But now if they came at the right time, they could spot a soft smiled man in green listening to a very animated talk with someone else, using their hands with a dramatic flair. That is until the man notices them trying to eavesdrop and the softness in his eyes drops and goes to irritation as he glares at them, curling a hand around his partner’s waist, and he let’s off a warning growl. His partner never seems bothered, only turning around to give a small wave in greeting, smiling as if the dangerous aura radiating behind them didn’t exist, before giving the man a small kiss as they go back to their conversation.

While you live a larger than life way, you also enjoy the small moments with Xiao. Xiao prefers to spend his time sitting above the inn and overlooking Liyue which you enjoy too. Resting near each other as you watch the sun go down is calming and takes the stress of life away. But sometimes you just want to bring Xiao out and have some fun.

Which ends up with you dragging him off to the pond near the Wangshuu inn, you wanted to catch frogs for whatever reason. Weren’t you both a bit too old to be playing with frogs? But he stands by and watch's you chase around the poor animals, tracking mud all over your clothing and skin, he can’t help but let a small smile slip. It isn’t until you end up falling into the pond after slipping that he’s on alert mode that he runs over worried.

Only for you to pop up and start bursting out into laughter. Xiao is stunned for a few moment as he watches you laugh at your own mistake, mud scrapped all over your face and clothes, the fact that you’re still in the pond with a frog on your head. He can’t help but feel his face fall as his mouth twitches into a smile as he chuckles along with you. He reaches over to try and scrub the dirt off your face but it only ends up smearing it more but you appreciate the effort. He carefully lifts you up as he carries you back to the inn. He thinks back to when you both first met, how he spent so much time worrying over his life as an adeptis and you as a human, but now those thoughts have been flung out of his mind. He wants to take your approach, that why worry over the little details of the future when you can enjoy the bigger moments you have now.

Diluc

On days that Diluc works as the bartender for Angel Share, if you come at just the right time when the sun was still high in the sky, you might be able to catch the ever distant man smiling and engaged with a conversation with one specific patron. Of course, this silly “rumour” was made up by the ladies of Mondstadt with too much free time on their hands but given Diluc’s reputation and demeanor it did make some travelers curious. Only for them to write it off as this special patron to be a green bard or cunning captain. One that Diluc surely did not crack a smile at. In fact it seemed to be the opposite. But the tavern isn’t so bad, there’s this nice individual that will listen to all your sorrows with kind eyes and a gentle heart.  

As soon as the last customer leaves and Diluc locks the door, does he let his shoulder drop and he breathes a sigh of relief. Before turning and walking to you as he let’s himself relax in your embrace. He listens as you re-tell on the woes of a jewelry saleswoman from Liyue to how Venti is still getting ID checked at the Cat’s Tail as he basks in your warmth. He’s glad that this is what’s troubling the people of Mondstadt and not anything incredibly dangerous relating to the Fatui or the Abyss Order. He asks if you’re doing alright to which you grin and nod that everything was perfect, before placing a small kiss on your forehead and he leads you out back and into the night and ready to return home.

Kaeya finds a lot of enjoyment going to up to you and discussing his “concerns” about Diluc. It always leads to you fretting over his health and if he was working too hard and he should take a break. Diluc is whipped and cannot say no to you so he always begrudgingly let’s you lead him away as Kaeya smiles and waves him off. It’s gotten to the point that no matter what Diluc is in the middle of, unless it’s of the upmost importance, if he catches Kaeya anywhere near you he’s swooping in and leading you away.

Diluc has always been straight to the point, non-nonsense idle talk, but when you drag him away to simply lie down at Starsnatch Cliff just because you were worried about him, he can’t help but feel his heart warm. Watching you blow on dandelions and enjoy the peaceful winds of Mondstadt does he let his hectic life standstill. 

When Diluc first met you, it was during his three year long journey to discover the truth of his father and the Delusions. You had saved him during his escape from a Fatui stronghold and explained you were apart of a third-party observer from the North. A vast underground intelligence network that approved of his actions and wanted him to join. Diluc, still deep in his anger and untrustworthy state of anyone, declined the offer but you still hanged around him. He didn’t understand why, and frankly did not want you anywhere near him, but you did save him. Something you very much liked to bring up, even after returning to Mondstadt. He couldn’t necessarily push you away and despite leaving the Knights of Favonius, he still maintained the same chivalry that all knights had.

From then on it had just been the two of you, him looking for the next Fatui base while you travelled with him as an “observer” despite helping him and being overly chatty. Asking where the next destination is like you’re some sort of overeager kid. At first, he really disliked your presence. A lot. In his mind you were a second Kaeya and after the events of what had happened, he might have been far colder to you than he should have been. He thought you were hiding behind the same kind of mask Kaeya did and that you were secretly some Fatui agent sent to kill him. But that never seemed to deter you, even making fun of the idea that the Fatui would seriously try and send an agent to con him rather than try and kill him outright with all the information he had on them.

You both had your clashes when it came to certain things, especially when it came to taking breaks and sightseeing. He felt that you were way too relaxed for something so important and you felt he was way to uptight and needed to stop running through life. But overtime, he found that he actually somewhat enjoyed your personality and quirks. While you could kick a Fatui’s guard head off if you tried hard enough, you would also drag him to feed the ducks by a pond. He had come to learn that you and Kaeya were different, you didn’t wear a mask and bared your heart to the world. He thought you were a bit foolish for doing that since you can never really trust anyone but you instead offered that not everyone was a bad person, that if he spent every waking moment trying to backstab someone would that really be a life worth living?

It’s during the lantern festival in Liyue does he really come to understand his goals in life. Writing down wishes for the new year to send off in paper lanterns is when he acknowledges his shortcomings and finally agrees to join the underground intelligence network. You offer him a bright grin as you cheer that he finally finally got off his stubborn self and you’re now officially partners in not-really-but-still-technically crime. For the first time since Diluc started his journey, he gives a small smile and let’s himself relax as he watched the golden lanterns fly through the sky beside you.

When he decides it’s time to return to Mondstadt and take up his position as Diluc Ragnvindr, he tries to not so subtly ask if you would want to join him. He knows that you still have ties to that secret organization and you probably have your own agenda but Diluc has gotten used to your bubbly personality, he doesn’t want to live without you. But his worries are quickly squashed when you tease him for a bit but slip your hand in his and ask where the next destination is. 

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Gripping my writing hand, I went overboard and ran with it. I really want to write pre-hcs of how you met Xiao and a continuation of young Diluc and you. But I must finish my inbox.  Also my joke of Xiao beating things into submission started all the way back to my first Xiao HCs of friendship. I did not know this lol. I just think it’s funny to imagine xiao doing it. I’m about to high five my past self.

By the way, should I break up my hcs more? I feel like they are actual paragraphs and that might be annoying to read.

[filmflowersbangtan]

Dead of Night (preview)

pairing: gang member!jungkook x reader

genre: angst, fluff 

warnings: swearing | drug mention | gangs | in the full story, there will be violence, blood, fighting, threatening 

preview word count: 4k

you meet jungkook in a diner in the early morning where it’s just the two of you in the entire place. An interesting relationship ensues, and you find out he’s not who you thought he was. He’s a prominent member of the city’s most powerful gang, surrounded by danger and trouble. But you still want him.

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author’s note: I sincerely apologize for being gone for so long and for not updating any of my fics. To everyone waiting on IMSWY pt. ii: I am so sorry for taking so long with it. It’s still in my WIPs, and I haven’t given up on it yet, but it is on the back burner right now since I have many other ideas bubbling up that I absolutely have to write or else they will probably internally set me aflame (lol). 

I will be deleting many of my fics soon. I will be keeping “Unbound,” “I Must Still Want You,” “Heartbreaker with a Heart of Gold,” and “Lonely Planets.” Everything else I will be deleting because I have no desire to finish working on them or I simply do not like them anymore and can’t see them going anywhere.

I also will probably not be writing anymore series. Everything will most likely be one shot because every time I start a series, I get too overwhelmed with the idea of updating parts and finishing them that I just end up postponing them for too long and leaving too many people who have been looking forward to them disappointed. I do want to say that I have been going through So Much since I last posted Lonely Planets pt. ii and IMSWY, but I am in a so so so much better place now. That’s why I’m even writing this story now.

This will be a oneshot. It will not be a series. It will be very long. I am almost finished with it, but I am posting this preview just to see if you all would like to continue reading it.

Thank you all. I appreciate all the feedback and the follows and the reblogs so, so much. The feedback and the reblogs of Heartbreaker with a Heart of Gold is what really motivated me to write this one. I hope you all enjoy it. 😊

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Being alone was like an addiction. It was fulfilling and appealing and…well, lonely. 

Two in the morning diner stops during the weekdays had become routine. The place was completely empty save for a waitress and a cook and maybe a tired trucker. You tucked yourself in a booth in the back. The vinyl seats were cracked and uncomfortable, the lighting was stark and washed everything raw. But it was comforting. Sleep was evasive and your apartment was barely unpacked, boxes stacked haphazardly in the dining area and the mattress on the living room floor. It was your idea to move to this vast city far away from home. This city swallowed everything in its incessant noise. Nocturnal and teeming with cars and neon lights. It never rested and the two of you had that in common. You took solace in that. 

The air was thick with bacon grease and bitter black coffee. Every morning you had waffles and orange juice. The refills were free and the waffles were the exact same circumference as the plate underneath it. Time was stagnant here. The city pressed against the plate glass windows, but the reflections from inside barred its entry. If you looked out, you simply stared directly at yourself. Maybe there was some kind of metaphor in that. 

The night shift waitress, Bethany, set your plate of steaming waffles on the table as well as a glass syrup dispenser. She knew you by name and you thanked her for the food. She smiled sweetly and left you be. 

The door chimed, denoting the entry of another patron. You didn’t look up. Bethany greeted the person in her cheerful customer service voice. You knew she didn’t actually sound like that. Once, you glimpsed her smoking a cigarette by the dumpster at the back of the diner arguing with her boyfriend on her cell phone. She had a tired voice. You wondered if she was lonely, too.

As you ate, Bethany took the patron’s order. From where you sat, his voice was a mumble. “You got it!” Bethany said before breezing away.

You glanced up from your food at the patron. Hair dyed blond, dark brown at the roots. He had a gentle face and a mouth made for smiling or furtively suppressing them. Tattoos were stippled on his arm all the way down to his knuckles. He was staring down at his phone, his fingers were slender and embellished with many silver rings. He was impossibly handsome. A paragon of beauty. 

And he looked up. Right at you. Why was it at that moment you happened to notice him, he decided to notice you, too?

Your scalp prickled with hot embarrassment. You immediately averted your eyes back to your waffles. There was only a bite remaining. Good. You could finish, get your check, pay, and leave.

Boldly, you chanced another glimpse. He did, too. This time, a smile, broad and lovely, stretched across his face. It was endearing and intimate and you had never felt so seen. It was exhilarating. A small smile crept onto your mouth. You couldn’t help it. His smile was contagious. 

This was how the following hour went. Weighted glances and secret smiles from across the room. He received his food, and he picked up his plate and mug of coffee and…was he coming this way?

You watched him, eyes wide, as he sauntered over to your booth and set his items on your table. “May I sit?” he said. His voice was the perfect match to his face. Smooth, sonorous, soft. Crushed velvet. 

Jerkily, like you had never done it before, you nodded. He sat. “Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” you replied. 

“I’m Jungkook.”

You told him your name. He repeated it once, twice, thrice. Like he enjoyed the feel of it in his mouth, rolling it around like a piece of hard candy he didn’t want to dissolve on his tongue just yet. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He reached his hand over the table. You smiled and shook it. 

His plate was piled with pancakes and sausages and scrambled eggs. He dug in. In between bites, he asked, “So what brings you here at this time of night?” “I have trouble sleeping. And you?” Your chest was tight with the awkwardness of it all, but he appeared to be perfectly at ease. 

“I’m just a night owl. Or I’m a vampire.” He shrugged nonchalantly as he continued eating.

Surprisingly, laughter bubbled from you until you couldn’t help the giggles that shook you. How long had it been since you had a conversation with anyone? Your store had been a drought for the past month, only a couple of people coming in a day. You didn’t call home because your parents would ask how you’ve been, and that topic lit a fire in your skull. Bethany was just a waitress doing her job. And Nora was always busy. It was refreshing to have someone sit with you. Talk with you. Want to be near you. 

His eyes danced at the sound of your laughter. It was an innocuous expression, boyish in how pure it was. 

You covered your mouth with your hands to mask the laughter. And he gently grabbed your wrist and removed them. “I like your laugh.”

Butterflies unfurled their wings in your stomach and fluttered in a frantic cluster. He resumed his meal as if nothing happened. “So what do you do?”

You cleared your throat. “I own a used book and record store downtown. It’s small and kind of hidden from the street, but it’s there.” You chuckled nervously. You were proud of that store, but you might have to close it down soon and return to your hometown with your tail tucked in between your legs if the revenue continued as it did. 

His eyebrows shot up. “Wow. That’s super cool. I like records. Books, not so much. Where is it located?”

You told him the address. “By that bodega on the corner.”

“The one that sells the really good blue raspberry shaved ice?”

You snapped your fingers. “That’s the one.”

“I’ll definitely have to stop by.” 

This was how the next few hours went. Talking about everything and nothing. He had lived in the city his entire life, worked as a freelance artist, had an apartment not too far away. Plates had been swept away by Bethany long ago. Refills poured, drained, and poured again.

And then, “Do you maybe want to get out of here? Kick it at my place?” Jungkook asked. His expression was open and genuine. 

You didn’t know if that was a good idea. But talking to him was stimulating and you didn’t want it to end. 

He noticed your hesitation. “Turn you location on your phone, I’ll even give you my address so you can send it to your friends. Anything to make you feel comfortable.”

He was right. He didn’t live that far. It was barely past five o’ clock in the morning, the city was still awake, billboards alight. The buildings towered, dark against the predawn blue of the sky. The apartment building was modest and typical of the city. Clean and affordable but just expensive enough to be appealing to a specific demographic of college students and those with decent enough jobs. His apartment was on the third floor and was charming with brick walls and high ceilings. There was a bookshelf packed with vinyl records, even more in milk crates. A record player in pristine condition sat on an end table beside an armchair. 

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Jungkook said, shrugging off his jacket and hanging it on a hook beside the front door. 

“You said you liked records,” you replied, browsing his collection. 

“I did.”

“This isn’t liking records. This is a goddamn treasure trove.” You pushed your hair behind your ear, eager to move it from your face. “Bowie, Billie Holiday, Bob Dylan, Prince. You even have a rare version of Hendrix’s Electric Ladyland. With the naked women! This is incredible.” 

He laughed. “I see you are a woman of taste.” 

“If only my dad could see this. I’m afraid to touch anything.” 

“I’m sure you don’t have clumsy hands with records. Since you have a record store and all.”

You laughed. “I appreciate the trust.”

“So what would you like to listen to?”

You mulled it over, taking your time examining the sleeves of the records. Then you found one.

He smiled when you showed him the cover art. “Perfect.” 

Frank Ocean’s Blond. A modern classic. Perfect for the liminal hour of five AM. 

Jungkook slipped it from its sleeve, fingers on the slim rounded edges of the record. He carefully settled it on the turntable, placed the needle on the disc, and played the album. There was the classic crackle of vinyl, and then the first track emanated. It was a phantasm of sound, rich and ethereal. Light but weighted. The song was the deep blue of the sky before the sun decided to pull itself above the horizon and emblazon the sky with its myriad of colors. It was the perfect song for this liquid moment that felt like a dream. This beautiful stranger standing before you with his incredible collection. 

And then you were in Jungkook’s arms, slowly swaying to the music. You smiled up at him and him down at you. 

The album continued on in the living room, serenading to no one. You and Jungkook had moved to the bedroom, lounging on the bed. The horizon blushed peach, casting the room in half-light. You both lay on your backs, him with an arm slung casually behind his head, you with your hands folded delicately on your stomach. 

“Thank you for paying for my meal today,” you said to him meekly. 

He smiled. “Thank you for the great conversation. And having an amazing taste in music.” 

You laughed. “What made you come sit with me anyway?”

That was when he looked at you, his mouth still slung in a smile, but his eyes sincere. “Because you’re beautiful.”

Your cheeks went hot and you giggled nervously, covering it with your hands. He rolled over and carefully removed them, his eyes on yours. For a brief moment, time was still. Your breath caught in your throat. He was so close. His lips were so close. Your noses were just barely brushing. His voice was husky when he said, “I like your laugh.”

And then he kissed you. 

In the living room, Frank Ocean sang about nights and new beginnings. 

In the bedroom, you and Jungkook were breathless. Hands on thighs. Hands in hair. Teeth on collarbones. It was a innocent hunger, one that never got too peckish. He was careful with you, didn’t dare to remove your clothes. “I like you,” he breathed into your neck. You gasped at the sensation. 

You kissed until you both eventually succumbed to sleep, the morning sun pouring drowsy golden light across the room.

It was well into the afternoon when you woke to the sound of a shower running. The room was unfamiliar. Definitely not your barren apartment with the boxes strewn about the place. And you definitely weren’t on your living room mattress tangled amongst its waves of sheets. The bed you were in was the most comfortable you’ve ever experienced. Brick walls, plants, beautiful abstract canvas paintings leaning against the wall. Then you remembered. 

The diner. The vinyl collection. The sunrise. The kiss. 

Jungkook. 

He was in the shower and you were fully dressed and the night had to have been a dream. But it wasn’t. Reality settled back onto your shoulders in agonizing waves. You were hours late opening the store. But oh, you wanted to burrow into these soft, sweet-smelling sheets and dissolve into nothing. Eventually you got up. 

The door to the bathroom was open. You thought about telling him you were leaving, but instead, you drew your name and number into the mirror steam and went home to shower and change yourself.

An entire week went by and he never called. He didn’t return to the diner, either. It hurt. Every time you lay on your side, willing yourself to sleep, the phantom feeling of his hands and lips barreled you at such an unwelcome rush you would gasp. None of it was real. You had to keep telling yourself that. None of it was real. 

Life went back to normal. Jungkook was a fleeting daydream that sifted in and out of your thoughts. The store still barely got any customers, except for the same two or three crate diggers who visited like ghosts. And then Nora, your best friend, breezed through the door. She was a city girl through and through. Large sunglasses, the omnipresent iced coffee, the expensive wardrobe curated specifically for being in front of a camera. She was partly why you moved here. The two of you were from the same hometown, and she had escaped first to chase the tail of a fashion designer career. 

“Move here!” she had said during a phone call. “You’ll love it. You’re super hipster and this city eats that shit up! And you can open up that record and book store you always dreamed of.” 

She wasn’t wrong. You loved this city but this city seemed to not love you back. Now, she pushed her sunglasses up into her hair and set her iced coffee on the counter top before you. You were sitting behind the register, feet up and reading a book when she had come in. You looked up from the paperback in your hands. “And what have I done to deserve your presence, Your Highness?”

“Good morning, dork! We’re going to a party.”

You kicked your feet down. Slipped a bookmark in the book and closed it. And you simply said, “No.”

She blinked, her smile stiff. “Why not?” 

“You know I have to open this place every single morning. I can’t go to a party and get drunk and miss another opening.”

“Stop making this store your entire life.”

“It is my entire life.”

“Well, live another one. Just for one night.” She clasped her hands together and actually pouted. “Please.”

You sighed. “You don’t have anyone else to go with?”

She perked up and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Oh, I do. I just want you to go with me. I want you to have fun for once. All you’ve done since you been here was work.”

Every single dollar and penny from your savings went to this store. It was your lifelong dream. And Nora—lovely, naïve Nora—had never needed to work for anything a day in her life. She meant well. She was never intentionally ignorant. But that didn’t make it any less frustrating. 

She also didn’t know of your time with Jungkook. It was embarrassing that he never called. It angered you that he called you beautiful and said he liked you only for it all to be false. Thank goodness you didn’t have sex with him. 

“I’ll have fun once I’m a millionaire or something,” you said to Nora.

She huffed. “I can find you someone to cover the shop for the night. You won’t even have to pay them. Please just come with me.”

“No. What if they steal something.”

She stared at you flatly. “Do you really think any of my friends—my friends—would steal? Let alone steal any of this stuff? No offense.” 

“Why do you want me to go so badly?”

“I already said. Fun. You know, music, drinks, guys.” She sang the last word and accompanied it with a little shimmy. 

“I have plenty of music and I can buy my own drinks.”

She slammed her hand against the counter top, startling you. “Stop being fucking difficult and come have some fun with me.”

So, grudgingly, you went. Albeit late because you didn’t trust anyone else to close the shop for you, but you went nonetheless. Nora did your makeup. Just glitter eyeshadow and a little eyeliner because you insisted you didn’t want much. And she picked out your outfit—a black lace bra, a crop top cardigan, and a pair of white shorts. 

“Because I can’t dress myself?” you grumbled, sliding on the clothes. 

“Exactly that. You dress too…hipster-y. You need to be hot for tonight.” 

You hadn’t worn that bra since you dated Namjoon. He was pretentious and arrogant and such a city boy it made you lightheaded. You met when he waltzed into the store shortly after you moved here. He smiled at you and you practically melted. The books were what he came for. He bought a Russian classic novel and at checkout, he discussed with you the allegory of sharing fruit in literature. He was eloquent and intelligent and so damn gorgeous you fell for him in that same moment. He scribbled his number on the receipt and told you to keep it. 

The relationship lasted for four months. He suggested you move into his high rise apartment downtown with him. It was a modern edifice, all glass and steel and money. He was the wealthiest person you had ever met in your life. And, stupidly, you were in love. 

And then you saw his text messages with some unfairly beautiful girl he followed on social media about how good she looked in his bed . He said he was lonely, that you worked too much, what else was he supposed to do? Needless to say, you left him. And you hadn’t seen him since. 

Now, Nora said to you, “And don’t think about wearing those fucking platform boots.”

“Why not?” you said, frowning. “They’re cute.”

“They look ridiculous. Like those boots that one goth girl from that cartoon you like wore.” 

You grinned, mischievous. “That’s exactly why I bought them.”

To Nora’s dismay, you wore the fucking platform boots. 

The party was in an underground venue. It wasn’t all red wine and an elaborate excuse to brag about money, like the gatherings Namjoon liked, it was edgy. A live band played pop punk on a stage, the lights in the place were dim save for the spotlights and the white Christmas lights behind the bar. Greasy pizza and liquor and neon lights. You brushed elbows with someone smoking a joint, and you were pretty sure someone was doing coke in the bathroom. 

Nora pulled you to the bar where she ordered herself a cocktail and you a craft beer. She knew you so well. 

There were so many people here. You mentally kicked yourself for not bringing flyers for your store. 

And then you saw him. Nora was talking your ear off about how hot the frontman for the band was and you almost choked on your beer. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you spat.

Nora blinked rapidly. “What? What happened?”

“This is why you brought me here. You cunt.” You didn’t mean to call her that. It wasn’t a word worn with frequent use in your vocabulary. In fact, you hated the word. But it was deserved in this situation. 

Namjoon. He was standing near the stage with a craft beer of his own in his hand, bobbing his head to the music. He didn’t like places like this. They were tacky to him. He didn’t even listen to this genre of music. What the hell was he doing here? 

The girl standing next to him turned to him and smiled. She was wearing lipstick as red as murder and her bob was so black it reflected the lights with an envious luster. She had a septum piercing, the two silver balls glittering in the low light like two tiny stars. That’s when it clicked. He was here because of her. She was that unfairly beautiful girl in his text messages. Your skin felt incandescent. 

“He had to see how hot you are. I thought you would enjoy shoving that in his face.” Lovely, naïve Nora. You wanted to slap her. 

You stood from the bar stool and set your craft beer on the bar. “I’m leaving now.”

Her face was slack with regret. Before she could form an apology, you turned and walked away. 

You were a few moments from the door when you heard your name. It wasn’t Nora. You stopped and your breath hitched. Your turned slowly, preparing to see Namjoon with that girl by his side but instead—

“Jungkook?”

His hair was black now and almost as shiny as that girl’s bob. It hung past his ears in gentle waves. He stood there in a baggy black shirt and jeans, his thumbs tucked into the front pockets. Silver bracelets draped from both wrists. In this lighting, he looked ethereal. Infernal. This couldn’t be the same man you shared a chimerical morning with. He looked like he had been created by the darkness of the city’s nights. 

Maybe it was just the hair. 

“Hi,” he said in the same way he did when he sat your table at the diner. It could’ve been mistaken as sheepishness, but his eyes were not meek. Besides the hair, you couldn’t figure out what was so different about him. 

Breathlessly, you said, “Hi.”

“You look nice.” 

Over his shoulder, you noticed Namjoon go to the bar. Nora scowled at him. He smiled amicably at her and his mouth moved, saying something. She froze, and her eyes immediately darted to you. Namjoon turned and saw you. And he started your way. 

“Are you okay?” Jungkook asked.

You should’ve ran out of the venue. There were a million other things you should’ve done, but instead you grabbed Jungkook and kissed him. 

Initially, he went rigid with shock, but he melted into the kiss. You felt him smile against your mouth. “Miss me that much?”

You pulled away. “I did not.” A glance over his shoulder and Namjoon was gone. You audibly exhaled. 

“What happened?” 

You ran a hand over your face. “Ex.”

“Ah,” he said. “Is that why you were leaving?”

“Yes. And now I’m going. Goodbye.” You whirled around, shoulders tense with embarrassment and headed for the stairs. 

“Wait.” He caught up to you on the stairs. “Can I go with?” There were small white string lights strung in the stairwell and the glow reflected in his eyes. They were so brown. 

“Don’t you have friends to be with?” Your phone buzzed in your back pocket with an incoming text message. Most likely your own friend dying to know who the guy you just kissed was. You ignored it. 

“They’ll be fine.” He grinned. 

“Okay,” you said, feeling yourself smile as well.

There was no destination, but you ended up at a park, sitting beside each other on a swing set. Your feet dragged in the wood chips as you pushed yourself back and forth slowly. He looked up at the night sky and sighed. “Do you want to know why I hadn’t called?”

You just looked at him. 

“This may sound like a corny excuse, but… I was afraid of what you would think of me.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

He hesitated before saying, “If we continued seeing each other, you would eventually find out that I’m not a freelance artist. I do paint, but that’s not what I do.”

You could feel your heartbeat gradually speeding its pace. “What do you do?” His eyes fell down to his hands. He turned them over, studying the lines in his palms. His hair slipped over his eyes. He was a portrait of affliction. “I’m a Lost Boy.”

You didn’t understand. He noticed your silence and looked up at you. “The Lost Boys. This city is practically run by them.” He corrected himself, “Ran by us.” He stopped, closed his eyes, and sighed. “I’m in a gang.”

Your voice was a whisper. “What?”  

He quickly added, “If you no longer want to associate with me, I understand. They’re—we’re—dangerous. I mean, even if you haven’t heard of us, you know us. The leather jackets, the vandalism, the fights. That venue is owned by us. The drugs at that event were supplied by us. That band playing is in our pockets. My apartment is paid by dirty money.” He laughed quietly to himself then, almost pityingly. 

The night air around you was thick with your own dread. “Is being around you dangerous?” You hadn’t meant for your voice to sound so small.

“I won’t hurt you, if that’s what you’re asking.” You could hear the unsaid “but” in his tone. 

“But what?” you prompted.

He chewed on his lip. A dimple in his left cheek appeared. “I won’t hurt you, but I can’t promise your safety. If you do decide to be around me.”

--

[revengeisourlullaby]

If I Never Knew You Pt.2

Pt. 1   Pt. 2    Pt.3   Pt.4   Pt.5   Pt.6

Warnings: 18+, eventual smut, arranged marriage plot, kinda royal au, some fighting, secret relationship, angst.

a/n: Here is part 2! I might upload part three tonight. I’m so excited to see where this goes. It seems that the first part is doing pretty good so I might upload them faster. As always requests/asks are open! Just give me little time to get to them. Enjoy! 

Word count: 1.8K

Walking through the town, you felt an inordinate wave of liberation flow through not only you but also through Loki. It felt as if the weight of the world released itself from your shoulders. Confidence and strength soaring through the air. Loki lost his stiffness, his typical carefree nature restored once you became more grounded. 

“See, not so bad, right?”

Shaking your head, a cynical chuckle escaped your throat

“For you maybe. All these eyes on us is kinda gross.”

“It’s only because the most attractive prince has finally decided to show his face.”

You looked at Loki, amusement absent from your face. He laughed, a belly laugh almost. It was a free sound you had yet to hear from him and when you did your face painted your emotions before you had the chance to process them yourself. 

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Yes, but you, my dear, tolerate it. So who's really at a loss in this situation?”  

“Well, it’s not me.”

“It couldn’t be me Y/N.”

“Looks like we’re both losers then Loki.”

You were approaching the main entrance of the palace and began to wonder if Loki was considering bringing you inside.

“We lost when we fell in love with each other Y/N. Listening to the heart is the most foolish thing one can do and yet here we are. Charging full speed with our eyes closed hoping we don’t trip over anything.”

Guiding you up the steps of the massive golden structure Loki called ‘home’ your nerves struck up again. 

“Seems to make sense that if we’re going full speed, might as well exploit our courtship in the place where you will eventually be spending all your time in. And with all things considered, sneaking you in is...counterproductive, to say the least.”

Exhaling, you brought yourself together and walked in front of Loki. His hand rested on your lower back escorting you inside. Grabbing fabric in your fists, you hiked your dress up a bit making sure you didn’t step on it. Walking through the main threshold, you realized you were worrying for nothing. The halls were massive, the ceiling stretching higher than you ever imagined.

 It would be a miracle if you were to run across someone you knew in a place so vast.

 You looked around in shock at everything you were being hidden from. The thought of it hopefully being yours to share with Loki in freedom and not in constraint was illuminating. One day to not only be openly in love with him but to call him your husband. Your partner for life was the solace you needed. Everything looked new to you because you had only ever seen the hallways in the dead of night to share evening visits with Loki, being as slick as one could, and it always working in your favor.

“Wow, it looks so different here with the sun shining through. Always felt like a runaway sneaking through the backways and balconies to get to your quarters.”

“And now you get to walk there like every other person in this place. Quite fancy isn’t it.”

“Okay, I didn’t ask for the smart mouth, you ass.” 

“Comfortable, are we?” 

“With you? Always.”

Finally, you two had walked up to Loki’s quarters. Opening the doors he welcomed you in and you welcomed yourself to his bed. Flopping down on the edge of it, the edge of your dress flying up and you went down. Hearing the door shut, you lifted your head up to face Loki at the door, only thing was he wasn’t there. Furrowing your brow you sat up on your elbows and by the time you looked behind you, it was too late. 

“Boo.”

Your body reacted before you could control your response. Your stomach fell to your ass, eyes widening and a sharp inhale all followed one another before you finally shook off the anxiety and realized that Loki had popped up behind you. 

“You asshole! What if I screamed, huh?”

Loki laughed falling over on the bed, your reaction to him obviously something of hilarity to him. You rolled your eyes and pushed his shoulder in and began to pout. He caught his breath and calmed down enough so he could respond back to you. 

“You’re only screaming for one thing and unfortunately, darling, the sun’s still out. So, someone will have to wait, considering they’re so concerned about being caught.”

Loki raised his eyebrow and your mouth was agape. You squinted your eyes and an idea popped in your head. Rolling over on your knee you placed yourself on top of Loki's lap, resting your hands on his chest stealing his smirk for this moment in time.

“I can control myself...you on the other hand, once you start you can't stop.”

To emphasize your point, you rolled your hips into his and brought your body down to level his. Reaching his ear you whispered

“If you can find containment within yourself, a prize will await you this evening.”

You moved from his ear and hovered in front of his face, your lips ghosting one another. You pulled back a little bit to stare into his eyes. They were hypnotic no matter how many times you saw them. Loki’s hand trailed up your backside squeezing the mound of your ass before continuing up your back. His hand finding refuge at the nape of your neck. He pulled you back to his face, a gentleness about the entire interaction, and kissed you. 

There was a different kind of spark in this kiss, it felt electric, coursing through your veins and settling in your brain as a memory you’d never forget. Losing yourself in the thrill of it all, your hips began moving against his. Your building arousal creating a fog between you. The more you ground into the god below you, the more apparent his bulge was. Flipping you on your back Loki now held the reins of the situation. 

“Now, don’t tempt me Y/N. You have a habit of teasing and where does it always leave you?”

“At your mercy.”

“Clever girl. So if you like to save this accolade you mentioned for later, mind your manners, my love.”

He leaned down to kiss you as to punctuate his words, ending the discussion with the pull of your lips between his teeth. Hissing through the pleasure you couldn’t help but roll your hips up towards him, now being the one desperately craving friction. Testing the waters, you wanted to see how far you could push Loki to his limits. Your hand found the scruff of his neck and scrunched his hair. Sucking a breath in between his teeth, he pulled back a light laugh following. 

“I’m aware of what you’re attempting to do Y/N, and I think it would be fair for you to know that it’s a feeble attempt. Reason being, now you’re the one left in ardor.”

Loki pulled off of you but made sure to drive his point home by sliding down your body and resting between your thighs before fully standing up. You lied on the bed in slight agony of your current predicament. You sighed and brought yourself up on your elbows. Looking ahead of you, you saw Loki sitting in the massive throne chair that was in his room. It was gothic in nature yet still regal with the back of the chair rising well up behind him and the arms of it embellished with Asgardian design. 

His position in the chair was more than purposeful. His legs were spread wide, his arm resting on the arm of the throne and his hand propping up his head to look not only at you but out on the balcony. The late evening sun illuminating his eyes, bringing a whole new meaning to golden hour. He looked breathtaking and it was as if you were falling in love with him all over again.

The lust you were previously feeling was now amplified but also accompanied with adoration for your lover. You raised yourself from up off the bed and waltzed over to him. A fire behind your eyes and in your presence but you had yet to act on it. Coming in front of him, you kneeled in front of him and looked up. Two could play at this game. Your hands slid up his legs, paying special attention to his thighs and feather lightly rubbed on this. His eyes were boring through yours and you felt small under his gaze. 

The silence between you was telling, that if you were to continue with your actions there would be no waiting until later. You wanted to enjoy the silence between the two of you, so you turned your back to him now sitting on your behind, and crossed your legs. You leaned your head back so it fell in between his legs, but before fully getting settled you reached for the two books resting on the side table in front of the chair and placed them in your lap. You wiggled your hips and settled into a comfortable position. 

Resting your head back, you craned it further attempting to look at Loki. He rolled his eyes knowing exactly what you were asking for. 

“You know, if I knew how often you’d beg for these I would have never indulged in your initial request.”

“You and I both know this is enjoyable for both parties.”

Loki huffed, a silent agreement without saying explicitly that you were right. Loki began to rub your temples. You closed your eyes enjoying the sensation and the loving intent of his actions. You finally felt calm and safe compared to the rest of the day which was riddled with anxiety and panic and the nagging fear of all the ‘what ifs’ you came up with. You had exhausted yourself and this simple action put you at ease. You opened your eyes for a moment and glanced down at the books in your lap trying to decipher which one was Loki’s. 

Catching a glimpse on the side you realized the one on the bottom was Loki’s current project at hand. Grabbing it, you twisted your arm behind you and slid the book into Loki’s lap knowing that sooner or later you would end up dozing off and you figured that getting this out the way would make it easier for both of you. 

“You are truly something else.”

“And you love me for it Loki.” 

“Can’t argue that one.”

A small smile painted your face before it fell back into its relaxed state and you began to drift off. Every little thing that had happened today made you feel that you were a few steps closer to getting what you so desired with Loki.

[fiveisnumber1]

Timeless - Five Hargreeves x Reader

Main story parts:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28

_________________________

Pt 28 - A Family Reunion

Gently you and Five parted from your kiss as you finally took in air again. Dropping your hands from his face you wrapped your arms around his neck and nuzzled your forehead against his. You hadn't opened your eyes yet as you were taking in every bit of this moment. As you did so Five lowered his hands from your face and wrapped his arms around your waist quickly pulling you closer to him.

"Oh!" You let out, surprised at the sudden action

"Didn't mean to scare you there." Five comments as he holds you tightly

He had missed you so much. It had only been about three days but all that time was filled with the worry of if you even existed in this timeline, where you could've been, and if you still loved him after tearing you from the life you re-built. He heard you say it, that you love him, and he felt it in the kiss you just shared but he didn't understand how you could love him after he threw you into time alone, again. Five pressed his forehead back against yours as he tries to just appreciate the solace of having you here with him. As you held your boyfriend for the first time in years you could feel something was off. Pulling your head back, you look at Five. He looks back at you and you can see that something was going on behind his eyes. Gently you stroke his hair as you quietly ask,

"What's going on in that head of yours?"

Five looked at you, your head tilted slightly as your eyes searched his face for some type of answer. He melted at the feeling of you running your fingers through his hair and across the back of his neck. Five closed his eyes and rested his forehead against yours once more. His voice barely a whisper as he said

"I promised no apocalypse and no time travel and I left you in time again. Alone. I just...are you mad at me?"

"I could never be mad at you, I missed you so much." You replied gently

A smile crept to Five's face and a weight fell off his shoulders knowing that you weren't upset with him, but your response also amused him. It was the exact same response he had given you when he returned to the future. It was what he said to ease your worry that he was mad at you all those years ago when he left and got stuck in the apocalypse. Five tilted his head up and places a light kiss on your forehead before replying,

"I missed you too ma chérie."

As the two of you stood embraced under the night sky a voice came from down the alleyway calling,

"Hey (Y/N), you okay? You stopped talking to the universe."

You and Five both turn to look at where the voice came from and you see Charlie standing at the entrance to the alley.

"Oh Charlie, I forgot you were here." You comment

"FORGOT?! What do you mean forgot? Do I matter that little to you?" Charlie exclaims before quickly adding "Don't answer that."

Charlie makes his way over to where you are with Five. Leaving the embrace you grab Five's hand to hold as you gesture with the other one to your friend.

"Charlie, this is my boyfriend Five and Five, this is my friend Charlie." You explain "He's the one who kept me sane while I was stuck in this time."

"That's a pretty bold claim saying I kept you sane..." Charlie states before extending his hand out and exclaiming "But wow! It's great to finally meet you. She never shuts up about you."

"Charlie!" You say using your freehand to hit his arm "Don't make me mute you."

"DoN'T MakE mE mUte YoU" Charlie mocks

With his free hand, Five takes Charlie's and shakes it. A full smile appears on his face as he comments,

"I see she's rubbed off on you."

"Not entirely, but definitely too much." Charlie jokes

"Wow, okay." You say sarcastically

Charlie and Five stop shaking hands and Five let go of yours using that arm to wrap around your waist and pull you into his side. Five looks down and you before back to Charlie and says,

"Thank you for taking care of her while I was gone."

"Thank you for coming back and taking over," Charlie jokes before stating "I'm joking, she's the only friend I've ever had so it's been a great experience so far."

"Never a dull day." You add

"I bet." Five replies

As the three of you stand in the alley, Five catches something move out of his peripheral and looks up to see Diego passing by one of the windows. He doesn't notice any of you down in the alleyway though so, a thought comes to Five's mind. As much as he hated the way his brother had been treating him lately, he knew that his brother loved you too. And Diego definitely loved you more than him. Turning to you, Five comments,

"It's getting a bit chilly out here, why don't we head inside. Anyway, I think there's someone else who wants to see you too."

Five then tilts his head to gesture up to the window where Diego is and you turn your head to look. It was your brother. The smile that you had at being reunited with Five widened as you saw your older brother above you. You turn back to Five excited and Five says,

"Let's go. You too Charlie."

Charlie smiles excitedly and the three of you walk inside and start to head up the staircase. As you do so, Five quietly details a plan to surprise Diego. When you approached the door to the apartment you waited quietly with Charlie outside. Five entered alone and as he did Diego asked him,

"Where did you go?"

"Outside. I needed some air and I had a nice chat." Five replies bluntly

Five then closes the door which is your signal and you go invisible and phase yourself through the wall and quietly walk behind where Diego stood. The anticipation rushed through you and you wanted to just run and hug your brother but you know this would mean so much more.

"You had a chat?" Diego questioned, "With who?"

"With me." You said

Diego turned around to look at where the voice came from and when he did you revealed yourself. You looked up at him with a smile on your face. You can see Diego's face go through a series of emotions as he tries to process the sight of you before him. Shifting from shock to confusion to awe he looks on at his little sister before him. You can see him get misty-eyed as he slowly approaches you.

"(Y- (Y/N)?" He asks voice wavering

"Hi Eggo."

Diego quietly takes a few steps over to you before wrapping you in a tight hug. You could hear sniffles coming from him as he held you.

"Eggo are you crying?"

"What? No...I- it's just d-dust" Diego obviously lies

You looked towards Five and rolled your eyes at Diego's response as you hugged him tighter. You knew that your brother had missed you too and even if he was trying to act tough his true colors always showed through. As you held him a knock came from the door. Diego quickly lets go of you and pulls out a knife. A voice calls,

"Can I come in now?"

Diego poises himself ready to throw but you lower his arm. As he looks at you confused you open the door and let Charlie inside.

"Hi, I'm Charlie," Charlie says extending his hand again

Diego looks on at him confused before slowly taking his hand to shake it and replying,

"Uh...Diego."

As you all stand there looking at each other you can feel the tiredness of your feet from standing in heels so long. Looking over towards the living room you see some couches and decide to sit down. As you walk over there the others follow.

"Som how long have you guys been here?" You question

"Three days." Five replies

"About eighty for me," Diego adds

Diego and Five walk over to the couch across from the two sofa chairs as you sit down on one of them. As Charlie takes the other one Diego asks you,

"So how long have you been here?"

You look off to the side. You knew the number of days but actually realizing how long it had been...You were taken aback a little. You look towards them and bring your eyes to meet their gazes. Taking a small breath you quietly respond,

"one thousand, four hundred and eighteen days..."

Their jaws drop and they simultaneously sit down on the couch across from you. No words are said as they stare at you. Five could barely find words to say as his mind was racing too fast calculating the amount of time. Figuring out the amount, Five's eyes went wide with concern.

"(Y/N)...that's..." Five tries to get out

"Three years, ten months, and eighteen days." You state

"Holy shit," Diego says slumping back into the couch

Five's heart dropped and the weight that he thought had left his shoulders came crashing back in full force. You were here for almost four years? He left you for years on end...again? Five looked down at the floor ashamed, he couldn't dare to look you in the eyes right now. He cursed at himself internally for making the exact same mistake that he did the first time but more so he promised himself to keep you safe and he failed. Even if you had already said you weren't mad for what happened and had forgiven him, Five couldn't forgive himself. He needed to make this up to you. He needed to get you home. As he struggled to cope with what he had done Diego asked,

"So how old are you now then?"

"I turned 22 on October 1st, 1963." You reply

"Which is funny because if you were born in 1989 then technically you're also negative 26 right now." Charlie chimes in

"Yes, I am 33, 22, and negative 26 all at the same time." You reply

"Weirdo." Charlie jabs

"Thank you."

"How does he know that? Your actual birthday." Diego questions

"Well, I ended up mentioning some things about the future to him. I was here for almost four years." You explain

"Which don't forget, you still owe me another fact about it." Charlie reminds

"Yeah, yeah you'll get it in time buckaroo." You wave off

"Wait, so I missed four of your birthdays?" Diego complains

Diego was upset with himself that he wasn't there for you when he should've been. Sensing his change in emotion you try to cheer him up by commenting,

"I'm sure you were doing something really important though!"

You watch as Diego's demeanor rapidly changes. Quickly he sits up from leaning back on the couch and looks towards you with a fire in his eyes. He must be passionate about something then. Leaning over the coffee table he looks between you and Charlie before proudly saying,

"I'm going to save President John F. Kennedy."

"JFK needs to be saved?" Charlie questions concerned

He's going to what? Save JFK? He had to be joking. You knew your brother still suffered from a hero complex but had it really gotten this bad after the apocalypse?

"Diego, you're joking, right? JFK's death is a part of history, you can't just change that!"

"JFK dies?!" Charlie exclaims shooting up from his chair

"Listen (Y/N), I know I can do it. I can save him."

"Get your head out of your ass Diego, he's supposed to get assassinated." Five adds snapping out of his trance

"HE GETS ASSASSINATED?!" Charlie yells "(Y/N) is this true?!"

You finally look over to your frantic friend, there was no way to put this lightly. A grimace appeared on your face as you pointed sad finger guns in Charlie's direction. Weakly you answer,

"...that's your fact from the future buddy..."

"NOOOOO!" Charlie yells before plopping back in his seat and mumbling "But I like JFK..."

You lean over and awkwardly pat your friend's back trying to comfort him. This was going to take some time for him though. As you tried your best to help Charlie, Diego and Five bickered over the plan to save JFK.

"You stay out of this Five. This is between me and my sister. I'm going to save the president, (Y/N) do you want in?"

"Diego, I love you but this plan is irrational."

"Thank you! Finally someone with a sense of reason!" Five exclaims  "It's this behavior that got him thrown into a psych ward!"

"You were in a psych ward?" You ask

Diego tries to stutter out a reply to you but before he could say anything Five adds,

"Not only was he in a psych ward but he also decided to get with some overly suspicious crazy lady he met a few days ago in the psych ward."

Get with? What did Five mean get with? You really hoped it wasn't the meaning of "get with" that you were accustomed to. You could feel your blood boil a bit but you try to calm yourself down. Maybe this was all a misunderstanding. In a firm but steady voice, you ask,

"What do you mean get with?"

Five looks you dead in the eyes and in the most serious tone he deadpans his response,

"I mean exactly what you think I mean."

Your jaw drops and you look down at the ground in disbelief. You said no words but your face told the story of how you were feeling at this revelation. Anger, hurt, and disgust flooded your system because you could believe your brother's actions. Eighty days. He could get over a woman he loved for almost a decade in eighty days with some stranger he only met a few days ago. Wow. You whip your head to look at Diego and if looks could kill then he would already be dead with the one you were giving him.

"Did you forget Eudora?" You spat

"What?" Diego asks

"Have you an ounce of regret?"  you chastise

Five and Charlie exchange a look with each other as they watch you yell angrily at your beloved brother, both knowing the reason why you would be so angered.

"(Y/N), I can explain-" Diego tries to start

You stand up from your seat and look down at your older brother. Your fists clenched tightly as you reprimanded him,

"Eighty days, huh? That's all it took to get over Eudora? You meet one psychotic harlot and that's it, no more Eudora?"

"I-" Diego tries to interject

"I what, Diego?" You rebuke

You took deep breaths to calm yourself but it was to no use. You began to shake as emotion overtook you. Tiny electric sparks started to fly off of you as your emotional buildup starts to seep out through your powers. Your voice wavered as you continued,

"I have been here for almost four years and I'm still not over her death. I loved her for five years. You loved her for over ten! You went on a tirade to get revenge for her death and yet you sit here now completely fine with throwing her away as if she was no one."

Charlie and Five look on at the scene before them but say no words. They both knew this was not something they should intervene in. Diego looks at you with a sorrowful look, water starting to well in his eyes mirroring yours. He opens his mouth but makes no sound. Summoning a knife you point it at your brother, your hand shaking vigorously as you hold it.

"I should kill you so you can confront her yourself and tell her what you've done." You choke out

You continue to point the knife in Diego's direction as you look him in the eye. You stare at him for a bit but then turn your head to look away from him. Stabbing your knife into the coffee table below you quietly say,

"I'm not going to though. I want you to live with the guilt of desecrating her memory."

You couldn't stand to look at your brother right now. You were disgusted at his actions. Walking away from the three of them you hear Diego stutter from behind,

"We-well if you're going to be m-m-mad at me then be m-mad at Five too."

You turn around and look back at the two Hargreeves boys.

"Oh really? Why is that?" You question harshly

"G-go on, t-tell her."

Five looks at you. He knew you were already upset, he didn't want to make it worse with the news that the apocalypse was happening again. You crossed your arms as sparks continued to fly off of you. Tilting your head slightly, you gave him a look as if to say "go on". Five knew that he had to tell you at some point so he might as well get it over with now. Carefully, he broached the topic, calmly stating,

"The apocalypse followed us here and we have six days to stop it."

The room was silent as you stared blankly at your brother and Five.

"What the fuck!" Charlie exclaims breaking the silence

"Couldn't have put it better myself." You reply bluntly

"(Y/N)-" Five tries to start

"No no no, if you're worried I'm upset at you Five, I'm not. Today has been...a day and I'm ready to stop experiencing this day." You explain calmly "We can talk tomorrow but for right now point me to where I can knock out for a few hours."

"Well, Elliott and Luther are shoved into the darkroom so you can take the bedroom. It's straight down the hall." Five replies

"Thank you. Charlie, you make the phone call, I'm going to bed. Five if you decide to sleep tonight, which I highly doubt given the circumstances and how fresh that pot of coffee smells, feel free to come join me and get eight hours of rest for once."

"Absolu-" Diego starts to exclaim

You turn your attention to him quickly and harshly question,

"I'm sorry but do you have a comment to make about my LOVING boyfriend who spent FORTY-FIVE years in a WASTELAND completely ALONE to try and get back to ME?"

Diego closes his mouth and looks away from you.

"That's what I thought," You state before adding "Goodnight."

With that, you turn around a headed down the hall towards the bedroom to fall asleep. Once you enter the room you kick off your heels and plopped down on the bed. You were too emotionally tired to search for any sort of pajamas so you stayed in your dress. As you sat down on the bed and started to process all that was said you couldn't help but get overwhelmed. Your whole existence had been flipped upside down in a matter of hours and it was just so much. Quietly, you let out tiny sobs unsure of any other way to cope.

The three boys had watched you walk away and once the door to the bedroom closes Charlie quietly gets up from his seat and heads over to the phone to make a call.

"Look what you did. Now she's mad at me." Diego complains to Five

"What I did? You were the one to go and get with that psycho." Five retorts annoyed

"You didn't have to tell (Y/N) and her name is Lila." Diego replies

"I don't care about her name and you shouldn't either. Also, I'm not going to lie to my girlfriend." Five complains standing up from the couch "Now if you need me I'm going to go get eight hours of sleep with my girlfriend."

Diego looks at Five angrily as he walks away and towards the bedroom. As Five walks through the kitchen he sees Charlie hanging up the phone.

"Charlie, you can take the couch for the night." Five states before turning to Diego "Diego get off it so he can sleep."

"You're the worst brother ever," Diego replies standing up and moving to one of the sofa chairs

"The feeling is mutual." Five replies

He then walks down the hall and quietly enters the bedroom. As he opens the door he can hear you quietly sniffling. Carefully, he approaches the side of the bed you were on and sits next to you. Gently, he strokes your hair as he asks,

"Are you okay, my love?"

"No." You quietly reply

"Is it because of Diego or the apocalypse?"

"It's- it's just a lot for one day..."

"I know darling." Five softly replies "And I'm sorry. I never wanted anything like this to happen."

The two of you sat on the bed silently and slowly you leaned over and rested your head on your boyfriend's shoulder. Five wrapped an arm around you and held you against him. He hated seeing you so upset. Five tried to think about a way to make you feel better, something to help ease the distress you were going through. An idea came to his head and he stood up from the bed. Turning to you he extending his hand for you to take it. You looked at him quizzically.

"What are you doing?" You asked

A boyish smile appears on his face as he answers,

"We didn't get a chance to dance at the consulate."

Your eyes start to dry and a smile reappears on your face as you take his hand. Standing up Five holds you against him as the two of you start to sway in the dark room with only the light of the moon to guide you. From outside you can hear the sound of a radio playing Elvis Presley's Can't Help Falling In Love and using your powers you open the bedroom window so the sound is clearer. You and Five locked eyes with each other and the world started to fade away. The apocalypse and all the other worries you two faced were irrelevant at this moment. Five slowly leaned his head down and pressed his lips against yours. Unlike the kiss when you reunited earlier, this one was soft and gentle rather than passionate and needy, but the emotion expressed in it was just as strong. This was all either of you needed, and just like the song, neither of you could help falling in love with the other. Parting from the kiss you rest your head on his chest and as you continue to say you can feel yourself getting tired. Five sensed it and asked,

"Tired love?"

You slowly nodded your head. Guiding you back to the bed, Five helped your tired self get in under the covers. Making his way to the other side of the bed he kicks off his shoes before removing his jacket, vest, and tie, laying them nicely on a nearby chair. As he approaches the bed you lift the covers up so he can slide in next to you. You roll towards him, wrapping your arms around his waist and placing your head on his chest. Five wraps his arms back around you and rests his head on top of yours. As he slowly runs his hand up and down your back he says,

"As long as we have each other everything will turn out fine."

You nod your head lightly and Five places a gentle kiss on the top of it. You had missed all of this more than words could express. The memory of being close to Five had started to fade over your years and you started to forget what it was like to hold your boyfriend, dance with him, and just exist with him. But getting to share this with him once more you knew that there was no need to worry because he wouldn't leave your side. Closing your eyes, you start to listen to the beating of Five's heart, and soon enough you managed to fall asleep. Five watched as you slept holding you tight against him. He was worried he'd lose you again if he let go even for a second. You were so resilient, finding your way in a new world after he had dropped you in it a second time, and yet you still found it in your heart to love him. Five didn't know what he did to deserve you, what he did to get to call you his one and only, but he was going to stop this apocalypse no matter what and he was going to make it up to you for leaving you here so long.

The night went on and Five closed his eyes but when he opened them again light was peering through the blinds of the bedroom. It was morning. He had actually slept. Outside the bedroom, he could hear the sounds of chatter in the kitchen. He blinked a few times trying to get the feeling of sleep to go away to no avail. He needed a coffee but you were still peacefully sleeping on top of him and he didn't want to wake you. He smiled at the sight of you. The rays of sunshine lit up your messy hair giving you a radiant glow. A wave of feeling came over Five and compelled him to kiss you and so just like the night before he placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head. And just like Sleeping Beauty, you started to wake at the feeling of a kiss from your one true love. You let out a yawn as your eyes flutter open halfway. The world was still a blur but you could tell from the amount of light that it was day.

"It's morning," you slur still half asleep

Five chuckles to himself at your groggy response. Adorable. He looks at your tired face and replies,

"Yes, it is. Good morning,"

You did not want to deal with all the revelations from the night before nor did you want to deal with whatever else the world was going to throw at you given that it was being flipped on its head again. You nuzzled your face deeper into Five's chest and you stated muffled,

"I don't want to get up,"

"Neither do I, but if you recall there is an apocalypse to stop."

"Can't we deal with it tomorrow?" you ask

"Unfortunately, that's not really an option."

You let out a huff. Maybe if you refused to get up he would just willingly stay. That was not the case though because Five sat up from laying in bed and looked down towards you. If the impending apocalypse wasn't occurring he'd happily stay with you all morning but the world was going to end and he needed to stop it. You look back up towards him with a grumpy look on your face that your plan didn't work.

"I'm going to get up so I can start figuring out a new plan, but you feel free to stay here as long as you like. Okay?" Five explains calmly

"Okay..." You mumble

Five takes your hand and brings it up to his lips placing a soft kiss on the top of it. Pulling away he looks at you once more, his thumb gently running back and forth across your knuckles.

"I'm going to go now but you come and join whenever you want."

You nod your head and with that Five gets up and puts on his vest, tie, jacket, and shoes. He heads to the door and walks out closing it behind him but not before giving you one last smile. You lay in bed for a few minutes but without Five with you, there was no reason to stay. You get up from the bed and look in the mirror in the corner of the room. Fixing your hair and flattening out your dress you decide to leave the room and walk out to the chattering of the others who were awake. You saw Luther standing by the stove, Five leaned up against a counter, Charlie sitting at the kitchen table and Diego pacing back and forth. You walk past Diego and sit down on the other chair at the kitchen table.

"No, no, no, I don't understand. They keep following me." Diego says, a scowl on his face

"What are they talking about?" You ask Charlie

"I don't know. I've been staring at the number of eggs that Luther has been cooking." Charlie replies

As you look over and see a mountain of scrambled eggs Luther asks,

"Wait, who?"

"Those Dutch sociopaths." Diego states

"They're Swedish, you idiot." Five comments "Hired guns paid to eradicate us before we do any more damage to this timeline."

"Oh. No wonder those guys said she's one of them when I fought them at the consulate. I'm one of the people they want dead." You mention aloud

"You fought them?" Diego and Five ask simultaneously

"Uh, Yeah." You reply bluntly

"We're going to discuss that later," Diego says before turning to Five "Why now? I mean, I'm fine for three months until you showed up."

"Yeah, I was here for a year and no one messed with me." Luther comments

"I had almost four years with no problems." You add

After you finish your statement another man walks into the room. He looks around at the people there before looking towards you and Charlie. Pointing at you two he says,

"I've seen you before."

Diego, Luther, and Five all look towards you confused.

"Oh yeah, four days ago I paid you a hundred dollars so we could. use your phone to make calls."

"You also threatened to gouge his eyes out if he didn't" Charlie adds

"You what?" Luther asks

Ignoring him you reply to Charlie,

"He tried shutting the door on my face and we needed a phone, I had no choice in the matter."

"Sure..." Charlie says sarcastically

"That's true but I feel like I've seen you somewhere else." The man says

Without another word, he walks out of the kitchen and into the living room. Odd. Diego then turns to Five and angrily says,

"I still don't understand how all of can be fine until you show up."

"Listen, even if it was my fault, which it isn't, we only have six days before the end of the world" Five explains "And the closest anyone's gotten to Dad was that driveway at the consulate."

Well...that wasn't exactly true but you weren't going to say anything. This wasn't the time. You think. As you decided to keep quiet you could feel someone looking at you. You look over at Charlie and see him staring at you intently. You knew what he was thinking in his head but you were not going to acknowledge him on it. Instead, you looked away, back towards the conversation at hand.

"Well...That's not exactly true." Luther says looking up from his eggs

"What do you mean?" Five then asks

"I saw him." Luther states

You and the rest of the group look on intrigued as Luther details the events of him seeing Reginald in person. The more he detailed the story though the more you came to a realization. That was your birthday party a year ago. How did you not see him or run into him? Your eyes then go wide as you realize something one more. You look over to Charlie who looks like he's going through the same realization. In sync you both whisper,

"The hobo."

Charlie gets up from his seat and makes his way over to the doorway to the living room. You follow after him and stand close by. The two of you stay facing forward pretending that you are still listening. Slowly as not to cause suspicion, Charlie leans over to you and whispers,

"You need to tell them."

"I'm not telling them shit." You whisper back

"(Y/N) they need to know!" Charlie whispers more aggressively

"This is not the time!" You whisper aggressively back

You and Charlie continue to whisper fight with each other catching the attention of the Hargreeves boys. They look on in confusion trying to figure out what you two were saying. As the two of you continued to quietly bicker, Elliott exclaimed,

"I remember where I know you from! You're Reginald Hargreeves adoptive daughter!"

You immediately retch at his words. You hated people calling you that, being his daughter is the last thing you wanted to be. The Hargreeves boys stare at you with the jaws dropped. They weren't sure if they heard Elliott correctly.

"Elliott, what do you mean Reginald Hargreeves, daughter?" Diego questions

"Well just look at the newspaper," Elliot says holding out the paper for Diego to take

Diego snatches the paper from his hands as Luther and Five move closer to look at it. The three of them look at the giant front-page photo of you smiling, surrounded by a group of people, as you stand between their dad and Grace. The three of them then proceed to read the front-page headline: Blasting America Upward: NASA Reveals Billionaire Reginald Hargreeves' Adoptive Daughter as Originator of  Primate Rocket Test Trial Concept

"Elliott, why do you have this?" Five asks

"I kept it because the front-page photo includes Majestic Twelve member Michael Anderson," Elliott explains

"Ew, imagine wanting to keep a photo of my dad." Charlie comments annoyed

"HE'S YOUR DAD?!" Elliott exclaims

"Yeah, regrettably." Charlie replies "I'm Charlie Anderson. His son."

"Oh wow! A Majestic 12 member's son is in MY apartment! I have so many questions!" Elliott excitedly bursts

Elliott takes Charlie by the arm and pulls him over to his desk full of papers and news clippings leaving you to deal with the fallout of the revelation.

"We're you even going to tell us this?" Five asks quietly

"I don't know...Maybe? I wouldn't know where to start..." You try to explain

"Well start explaining then." Diego commands

"Yeah! Why does this say you're his adoptive daughter!" Luther questions angrily

"First of all, I'm not his adoptive daughter. The public always gets that wrong. The only thing I am is the heir to his estate, legally I am not his child nor would I ever choose to be. All of this happened by accident!" You exclaim

"What do you mean by accident?" Five inquires

You start to pace around and make wild gestures with your hands as you try to find the words to explain the circumstances. Everything was really just a series of events. Trying your best you start to ramble to them about what's happened.

"When I was dropped in the alley I passed out, went into a coma for seven days, woke up in the hospital and the first person I saw was Mom. She found me in the alley and constantly visited me while I was in the hospital. After I was released she took me in. We went to some meeting and met Reginald and some of his colleagues. I presented the idea to send a primate into space and everyone agreed with it."

"Pogo," Diego said

"Yeah, Pogo. And then Mom and Reginald started working together, unfortunately, started dating, Mom alone legally adopted, and then we moved in with Reginald and I became a public figure. Literally, everything has been by chance! Hell, even meeting Charlie was by chance!"

"That's true," Charlie comments trying to get away from Elliott

"Wait..." Diego interjects "You were in a coma for seven days?"

"Were you in pain?" Five asks concerned

"Guys, that's not what matters right now!" Luther exclaims

"Of course it matters! She was in a coma!" Five reprimands him

"She was in a coma FOUR YEARS AGO!"

"No Luther, this is important." Diego retorts "So you're okay?"

"I'm here aren't I?" You reply to Diego before turning to Five and saying "Don't worry I wasn't in pain."

"So that's why you were at the consulate yesterday. You attended with him." Five comments

"And mom," Diego adds

"Yup. I was forced to go because Reginald, Mom, and I are apparently an influential unit." You respond

"That man will say anything but the word family." Charlie jokes as he walks over to you, finally escaping Elliott

"Oh, so you've just been galavanting about with our mom and dad while you've been here, huh? That's what you've been doing." Luther accuses

"Luther, who cares what she was doing? That's not what matters. We need to get to dad because he knows something about time travel." Five ridicules

Luther rolls his eyes and lets out a huff before heading back to the kitchen table and plopping down in one of the seats. Grabbing his fork he starts to shovel eggs into his mouth. Elliott approaches the kitchen and asks Five,

"Wait, why don't you just do your thing and, uh, time travel us out?"

Five lets out a huff before walking over to refill his cup with coffee.

"Anyone care to explain?" Five asks annoyed

"First time he tried, he got lost in the apocalypse." Luther states

A pout comes upon Diego's face as he crosses his arms. Angrily mumbling, Diego adds,

"Second time, he regressed in age and started dating my sister,"

You look over at your brother. He was making it sound like the consequence of Five's time-traveling was not his physical age getting messed up but rather the fact that he started dating you. Unsurprising yet still unbelievable. "Last time I tried, I scattered my family, and lovely girlfriend over there, across three years in Dallas, Texas, possibly triggering a doomsday."  Five explains

"Damn when you said he fucked up, I didn't think you meant he fucked up fucked up." Charlie leans over and mentions to you

"Charlie," you reprimand lightly, hitting his arm "That's my boyfriend, be a bit more sensitive."

"You said it first."

"I was summarizing..."

Unaware of the conversation you were having with Charlie, Five turns to Elliott. His signature know-it-all look on his face as he asks,

"Any more questions, Elliott?" "Uh, no." Elliott replies

"You're missing the big picture Dad is the ringleader of a sinister cabal that's planning to kill the president." Diego exclaims

Dear God, when was he going to give up on this whole save JFK deal? You knew the answer to that question. It was never. He had to save JFK or JFK had to die for this to be done. You had no clue why he was making these connections though. Granted you didn't associate with Reggie outside of what was necessary but you never got an indication that he was part of a cabal. Sure he had government ties but...a cabal seemed like a stretch to you. You knew wickedness resided inside of him but he would never assassinate the president, especially since Grace admired JFK so much. Would he? "A cabal?" Luther questions, his mouth still full of eggs

"Ignore him, Luther. Look, the way I see it, we only have one option." Five states to the group

"Oh, yeah? And what's that?" Luther questions "It's time to get the Umbrella Academy back together." Five replies "Hell, yeah. Family meeting." Diego says "Okay then, can one of you get Allison, please?" Luther asks "You two still a thing?" Diego inquires

Luther just looks at him without responding. Knowing something was up Diego leans in closer and quietly asks,

"Do we need to talk?"

"No, she's married." Luther replies upset "Whoa. Dude, that's rough." Diego responds "I can handle it." Luther lies "I'll get her. Can you get Vanya without, uh, squeezing her to death?" Five requests "I'll try." Luther retorts

Five starts to walk away and towards the stairs leading down to the ground floor of the building. You turn to Charlie and say,

"I'll be right back."

As you walk away you can see Elliott approaching Charlie out of your peripheral and from behind you, you hear Charlie call,

"(Y/N)!"

You kept moving on though and follow Five down the stairs to the front entrance. When you get to the front door Five stops and turns around to face you.

"Are you coming with me?" He questions, a smile on his face

You were thinking about it but then you heard from upstairs,

"Please stop asking me about my dad! I don't like him!"

You watch as Charlie tries to speed walk away from Elliott upstairs.

"Please I just want to know about him!" Elliott says following him

"I think I'm going to stay to keep Elliott at bay and Charlie from jumping out a window." You reply to Five

"That's reasonable."

"You'll be back soon?" You ask

"As quick as can be mon chérie." Five says before placing a quick peck on your cheek

He pulls back and you give him a smile which he returns before flashing away. Turning around you head back upstairs. Luther had left through the back entrance to go get Vanya so all that was left was Diego, Elliott, you, and Charlie. Elliott continued to push Charlie to talk about his dad and you could tell Charlie was getting frustrated. His dad was the last person he'd want to talk about, especially unwillingly.

"Please I've never even gotten close to anyone whose parent is high up in the majestic 12 before just tell me something!" Elliott begs

You watch as Charlie stops in place and turns on his heel to face Elliott and looks him dead in the eyes. Charlie's face was red and his expression was less than enthused. You hear as Charlie takes a deep breath in before bursting,

"You want to know about my dad? You really want to know? He's an awful person. Never loved me, never loved my mom, he only ever loved himself. Everything he does is for personal gain and status. He could care less about anything that requires emotional labor and has done the barest of bare minimum as a parent. He's an awful man, I want him to die soon and god do I hope he rots in hell once he does. Is that enough for you?"

Elliott nods his head and from the kitchen Diego comments,

"Amen, right there with you bro!"

Charlie walks off to the couch and quietly sits down on it. You knew he was upset, he hated his dad as much as the Hargreeves hated theirs. You had no clue what it was like to despise your father but you did know what it was like to despise theirs. Walking behind the couch you stood directly behind Charlie because you knew there was one way to cheer him up immediately. Extending your arm out above his head you reach your hand out flat before proceeding to aggressively pat him on the head. At first, he tries swatting you away but in time he starts laughing. When you can tell he's all better you stop and he looks up at you.

"So a family meeting, huh?" Charlie says

"Yup. You'll finally get to meet everyone in the flesh." You reply walking around to the front of the couch

"How well do you think it's going to go?" Charlie questions

"About as well as me and Diego talking last night. Probably worse." You reply bluntly as you sit next to him

Charlie gives a small nod of his head. He had this look on his face and you knew he was contemplating saying something.

"Just say it." you command

"What?"

"You're thinking about something, so just say it."

"You can't stay mad at Diego forever. He's your brother." Charlie comments

"I will do what I must." You reply crossing your arms

"You will try." He responds

You stand up and start to pace back and forth in front of the couch. Charlie knew you better than this there was something deeper than just being mad at Diego for meeting someone else. He agreed with all the points you had made before but he could just feel something was missing from your reasoning. As you pace around you complain

"It just doesn't make sense! He knew Eudora for a decade. That's approximately 3650 days plus two leap years so 3652. He knew this floozy for four. You know how much 4 is of 3652?"

"How much?" Charlie asks unenthused

"0.001 percent. It's a fraction of a fraction of A FRACTION!" You exclaim angrily

"Okay, so what's the real issue." Charlie questions

You look at him with a mix of anger and surprise.

"How dare you- I- uh-" You try to respond

You shut your mouth when you realize no response would come. He was right. That wasn't quite the real issue, it was part of it but it wasn't the root cause. You let out a sigh and look down at the ground. There was a far off look in your eyes as you sat on the coffee table across from Charlie. You thought about why you were truly upset, what was really making you tick and it hurt you to think about. You looked up at Charlie as you tried to hold a few tears back. Your voice wavered as you softly spoke,

"Besides my Mom, he and Eudora were the closest things I had to parents after I lost mine...We were a family...and it feels like he's throwing all of that away..."

"And you're losing your family to a stranger." Charlie adds

You nod your head lightly. Charlie stands up and reaches his hand out lightly patting your head. A small smile comes to your face and you look up towards your friend.

"How about we go for a short walk? Clear your head before everyone gets here. You know someone is going to mention you've been living with Reggie, so might as well get in the headspace for whatever reactions might occur." Charlie suggests

You nod your head once more and the two of you head downstairs to get some air before everyone else showed up. As you walked away Diego peeked his head around the doorframe and watched you leave, his face streaked with a few stray tears. In your fit of anger, you had forgotten that Diego was still at the apartment. He had heard what you had said and between last night and now he couldn't help but feel disappointed in himself. He still had complicated feelings in terms of Lila but he needed to figure them out because they really weren't worth you feeling like you were losing him to someone who had barely been around. He knew how awful that feeling was. Diego dried his eyes and put on a strong face as he heard Luther arrive back with Vanya.

Time passed and Five had arrived back with Klaus and Allison. It took forever to get them to come along though since they were both relentlessly drunk. As Five entered the building with his inebriated siblings he saw the other three up on the balcony above. As the sun shined in the room the six living Hargreeves all looked at each other. Breaking the silence, Klaus pulls off his glasses and comments,

"Oh, wow. I know this is impossible, but...did we all get sexier?"

Allison looks up at the balcony above. There stood Vanya in the flesh. She hadn't seen her since the night of the apocalypse. Her voice wavered and she said, "Vanya."

Vanya looked back down at Allison. Pure joy radiated off of her as she excitedly replied, "I can't believe I have a sister."

Vanya makes her way down the stairs towards where the rest of the group is and Luther and Diego follow suit. When Vanya gets to the main floor she stands in front of Allison. The two of them look at each other for a bit before Allison quietly states, "I missed you." "Thank God someone did. " Vanya responds

The two of them stand awkwardly for a second before opening their arms and enveloping each other. The two sisters happily reunited. Klaus attempts to hug Diego but Diego extends his arm keeping him at a distance.

"Oh, you are drunk." Diego states "Yeah. No, just a little... just a few..." Klaus says before noticing the hug going on "Oh, that's so sweet." Slowly Klaus walks over to his sisters and wraps his arms around them.

"Hi" Vanya softly says

"Hey, Vanny." Klaus greets placing a kiss to the top of her head

Five looked around and noticed that you were nowhere to be found. He was about to start asking questions when he heard the door to the building open and the sound of your voice speaking behind him.

"And so that's how I snuck me and my friends into a 21+ club at 16 years old." you explain to Charlie, unaware of the others in the room

"You what?!" Diego exclaims

Your attention snaps to the room filled with Hargreeves. You look around to see Vanya, Allison, and Klaus standing all together on the left side of the room while Luther, Diego, and Five stand on the right side. You then did a double-take as you noticed one more Hargreeves sitting in the corner on an old TV display. Ben. Something was off about seeing him this time but still, you smiled at him and he happily waved back. Turning your attention back to the living group you attempt to divert the topic by saying,

"Hey everyone! Long time, no see!"

"Hey (Y/N)! It's nice to see you again!" Klaus says buying into the diversion

Diego shoots you an upset look that only a protective older brother would give and you shrug your shoulders back. You see Vanya looking at you quizzically. She then asks,

"Are you my sister too?"

You now look back confused. Vanya knew you two weren't related so why was she asking that?

"She has amnesia." Five informs

"Oh." You express before turning to Vanya "No, I'm not related to you. Diego sees me as his little sister but I'm not a Hargreeves."

"Just because you weren't adopted by our dad doesn't mean you're not a Hargreeves. You're family." Ben comments from behind you

You smile at his comment. Five then proceeds to ask,

"Klaus. Is Ben here?" "Oh, uh... no." Klaus fumbles out before lying "No, unfortunately, ghosts can't time travel."

"What?" You say to yourself, a confused look on your face "Are you kidding me?" Ben exclaims annoyed

Seeing that this was going to be everyone, Five decides to move forward with the meeting and states, "All right, then. Let's get down to business."

Everyone starts to make their way upstairs and finds somewhere to sit or stand in the living room. Once everyone is settled Five takes the charge of starting to meeting and says,

"All right. First off, I wanna say I'm sorry. I know I really screwed the pooch on this whole going-back-in-time-and-getting-stuck thing. But the real kick in the pants here is we brought the end of the world back here with us." "Oh, my God, again?" Klaus exclaims as he grabs himself a drink

He looks around at the group and everyone looks back. He didn't know already? Realizing that he was out of the loop Klaus continues,

"All of you knew? Why am I always the last one to find out about the end of the...Oh, my God. My cult is gonna be so pissed. Five! I told them we had until 2019." "We have until Monday. We have six days." Five states "Is it Vanya?" Klaus asks "Klaus." Allison chastises

"What? It's usually Vanya." Klaus retorts "Do you have any leads, Five?" Vanya questions "Yeah, we have one." Five says taking a file from Diego

Five hands the file to Allison and she opens it to see a photo paperclipped to the inside. Her eyes go wide with shock as she comments, "Holy shit, is that Dad?"

"Yeah." Diego replies "That's him?" Vanya inquires

"Standing on the grassy knoll." Diego informs "Diego and I have been trying to talk to Dad about what exactly this means. So far, we've got nothing."  Five explains

"Not nothing. He's planning to kill Kennedy." Diego retorts

"Maybe. But we don't know who or what sets doomsday in motion. Could be Kennedy, could be something entirely independent. But if we know something changes the timeline, we have to make it right." Five corrects "Yeah, but how are we supposed to fix it if we don't know what's broken?" Allison asks "Come on. Do the math. We know Dad's having shady-ass meetings with some shady-ass people. We know he's on the grassy knoll in three days to kill the president. So I think we all know what we have to do." Diego describes getting up from his chair "Talk to Dad." Five states

"Kill Dad." Diego says at the same time

Five looks back at Diego and shoots him a look while the others look around in confusion. Even Ben was puzzled by what was going on. He looks your way and you shrug your shoulders mouthing I don't know to him. "None of us are supposed to be here, right? I mean, what if it's us? Has anyone here done anything to screw up the timeline?" Vanya wonders

Everyone is silent for a second looking at each other with wide eyes. It seems like no one is going to say anything until Luther chimes in, "Diego's been stalking Lee Harvey Oswald."

"And you're working for Jack Ruby." Diego yells back "Allison has been very involved in local politics." Klaus slips into the conversation "Okay, you started a cult." Allison retorts

"Thank you!" Ben exclaims finally getting support "I'm... I'm just a... a nanny on a farm. I don't have anything to do with all of that." Vanya stutter "Well, maybe you do, we just don't know it yet." Allison comments back

Diego whistles loudly grabbing everyone's attention. With all eyes on him, he explains, "Listen to yourselves. Everything in our new lives is connected to Kennedy. That can't be a coincidence. Luther works for Ruby, Allison is protesting the government, Dad is on the grassy knoll, (Y/N) has been living with him for 3 years, Klaus is...doing something weird and pervy but probably related. See, clearly, we were all sent back here for one special reason: saving John Fitzgerald Kennedy."

"I'm sorry go back a second. (Y/N) has been living with him?" Allison asks

"If it makes it any better it was completely by accident. A series of unfortunate events." You explain

"Lemon Snickers," Charlie says to himself

"So close buddy. Good try." You reply patting his arm Everyone looks around for a second before starting to argue again with each other. Their voices becoming a cacophony of sound. You and Charlie look on at the mess that is a Hargreeves get together.

"You were right, this is worse than last night." Charlie admits

"Yeah, I told you."

From across the room, Five listens to the sound of his siblings arguing blending together. The loud mixture of noise sent him back into his memories. The awful future of if they don't stop this doomsday. He remembered the fire and destruction. The ash in the air and the bodies on the ground. A bloody mess in the exact same street just outside the building. And his siblings eviscerated by nuclear weapons, reduced to nothing. While everyone continued to argue you saw Five slipping into the recesses of his memory. Walking over to him you pull his hand out of his pocket and take it in yours. Five shakes his head slightly and looks at you after fully coming back to reality. He holds your hand a bit tighter before turning back to his siblings.

"Guys, you all die." Five states, his voice wavering as he spoke

You squeezed his hand, reassuring him that you were there for him. Taking a breath he hesitantly continues,

"I was there. I saw it. And I wanna forget it, but I can't. I saw Russian nukes vaporize the world with all of you in it...in a war that never happened until we brought it here. And Hazel gave his life to save us, so you may need to shut up and just listen to me. I don't know if the things we've experienced here are all connected. I don't know if there's a reason for everything. But Dad will. We need to talk to him before everyone and everything we know is dead."

Five finishes his thoughts and without a second to pause Luther gets up from his seat and says, "Okay, I'm out." "Did you even hear me, Luther?" Five criticizes "Yeah, I did. I heard a 58-year-old man who still wants his daddy to come and fix everything. Why don't you get your girlfriend to help you out. She's his favorite after all." Luther ridicules

Luther starts to walk away but you could feel your blood boil. Five had been through 45 years of one apocalypse, saved all of you from dying when you were unable to stop it and now was pleading with his siblings to help him stop this new one and Luther was just going to walk out? Unable to contain your anger you shout,

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

Everyone turns to look at you, Luther included.

"Minus Vanya we all agreed to travel back in time. We took a gamble to save our lives, ended up here and now we're facing a doomsday. That's the facts of the matter, we fucked up by being here and now we need to stop it and get out. If Five thinks that your dad can help us then we should listen."

"Well, you can still count me out. It's time we all grew the hell up and I'm sure you can run on home to dad and fix it Number Zero." Luther mocks

"You know you're being a real prick Luther! For someone who wants us all to grow up, it's childish of you to still be mad that my number is above yours. A number I didn't want in the FUCKING FIRST PLACE!" You rebuke

Luther shakes his head before stating,

"I'm out of here." "Luther!" Vanya exclaims

"Come back." Allison begs

Diego gets up from his seat and starts following Luther down the stairs. You watch as Luther walks away. Maybe it was better without him here.

"Where are you going?"

"Save it, Diego," Luther says

Letting go of your hand Five spacial jumps down the stairs and in front of Luther. Looking him in his eyes Five commands, "No one leaves until we figure this out."

Luther stares at Five for a second before grabbing him by the shirt and tossing him over the railing. Spacial jumping once more so he didn't hit the ground Five lands outside in the alleyway. Straightening out his uniform he looks back towards the building and asks himself, "Jeez...When did the monkey learn how to fight dirty?"

Five starts walking back to the door to enter the building but hears a clatter coming from the roof above. Looking up he sees Lila standing there. Speaking the only words that come to his mind he comments, "Son of a bitch."

Link to Side Story Here: The Tattoo - “A Family Reunion” Side Story ________________________________

Taglist: @xplrreylo @joebob15274 @insatiable-ivy @fruitsaladtree @angelpeachamber @academy-umbrella @lizziel1410 @ir3neeee @faith-quake @aliens-with-colas @sunsetcurve-1995 @lady-celeste25 @im-dead-and-hurting @nerdypinupcrystal @cherry-ki-d @anapocalypseinmymind @vicassa @2cuteforyourlies @taylorsmakingfuckingmacandcheese @n1ghtsh4d3-67​ @cheshire-salvatore-mikaelson​ @shadowycreationcupcake​ @emily-hargreeves @metor-showers1994 @fivehargreevesforthewin​ @rinko-san @supernovavision @cicilisthebest @flickbix @hi-v-juice @magykal-777​ @zosiaduda @thethirdwheelfriend @mysticracoon @isnt-it-loverly @officiallydarkgeek @lady1505 @always-the-very-worst @tinypandagirl @libidinexx @lemongrabbuns @itwasallred @deadandoverit @shlokage @keksi249 @theoriginalkat @we-stan-fiction @bi-idiot-fanfics @annnagennnie @izzyjojo4 @megasimpleplan4ever @flowertoty @grabthemoneyandletsgo @itsametaphorbriansblog @vanillacaramelhoney @satvaldiva @disaster-magician @margotsfandoms @emily-b-m @bluechildrenlickmytoes @soft-slytherin-sweetie @oceanspray5 @im-here-for-fanfics @thebloodrobin @freestarlight @starcurrent @lilacs-lavender

[lucysometimeswrites]

Could you maybe write a story where the reader sees the new released picures/trailer for Cherry where Tom is kissing his co-star and she gets a bit jealous/insecure?

of course! :) hope you like it 

—————————————

“Darling, it’s out now!” Tom yelled from his spot on the couch.

“Ooo, coming!” I yelled back, quickly putting away the remaining laundry and running back down to jump beside him on the couch.

“Oomph” he said as I crashed into him, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me into his chest. He pressed kisses to my temple as I hurried him to open his laptop and play the video.

Today, finally, the trailer for Cherry was being released. Me, being the supportive girlfriend I am, have been incredibly excited for any kind of material or sneak peek that I can get since Tom has made it a rule to not spoil anything. Surprisingly, he’s kept his word, so I’ve been finding out about it at the same time his fans have been. You can understand why I’ve literally been counting the minutes for this to be released and Tom has basked in every moment of my fangirling.

I waited anxiously as he pulled up the video, biting my lip with an excited smile on my face.

“You really are excited, aren’t you?” Tom asked, scanning my face with soft eyes.

I whipped my head to look at him, as if he’d deeply offended me, “Of course I am! I truly do believe this is some of your best work and if my nagging for you to tell me anything about the movie isn’t enough to prove that and how excited I am, then I don’t know what to tell you”, I said, prompting a laugh out of him as he leaned in to kiss the corner of my mouth.

“Ready?” he asked

“Play it already!” I demanded, jokingly punching his arm. I got comfortable beside him as he set the laptop on the table in front of us, pressing play. 

“Oh my gosh...” I whispered, the excited smile never leaving my face. I chuckled, “I can’t get over your hair in that phase”, watching him in the student phase.

He nudged me, jokingly saying, “Leave me alone”.

I watched as Tom told Ciara how he liked her, in character of course, in a little shy but also a little forward manner. It reminded me of how he confessed his feelings for me, confidently but also nervously. It made my smile falter a bit. 

As the trailer continued, many cute Ciara-Tom moments came up, such as the small part where the caressed her naked body, him saying that she was “it” for him, their wedding, them cuddling and comforting each other. It was almost as if I hadn’t seen the the other parts of the trailer, just focusing on those, and I hated myself for that. I knew I shouldn’t be jealous, but the what-if’s started to plague my mind. 

Tom noticed that, even after the trailer ended, I stayed quiet and entranced on the screen. 

“So? What did you think?” he asked expectantly.

I shook my head as if I wanted to shake my thoughts away, and quickly put on a smile on my face, “Sorry, I’m just- I’m literally speechless”.

“Are you sure?” he eyed me suspiciously.

“I am! I can’t believe what I just saw. Tom, I-” I sighed, “I can’t even begin to express how proud of you I am. The film looks unbelievably amazing. Can’t wait to watch you ace it” I told him, caressing his face. I was reminded of the way Ciara did it in the video, and removed my hands from him.

“Well, if you’ll excuse me,” I said as I left his embrace, “I have to cook dinner, would pasta and garlic bread be okay with you?”

“We could order in, if you’d like?” Tom suggested, holding onto my hand to prevent me from leaving.

“Oh no, don’t. We have food in the kitchen” I waved him off, quickly making my way to said place and left him behind.

While getting everything out and waiting for the water to boil, I got lost in my thoughts again. I couldn’t stop thinking about the scenes between Ciara and Tom. They looked so real. And I knew that was the point of the film, for their chemistry to look as real as it could to sell their loving relationship and its importance. But man, they look amazing together. In real life too, they are great friends and have hung out multiple times and given the hardships of this movie, she was a great person of comfort for him because, in a way, they were going through the same thing. She could be there in ways I couldn’t. I know Tom would never to anything drastic but what if he realized how great she was? She’s funny, beautiful, smart, incredibly talented, and in so many ways better than me. Watching her hands softly cupping Tom’s face in the trailer reminded me of when mine were there; the way they passionately kissed, embraced, and found solace in each other...Wow. If I’m like this with the trailer, how will I get through the movie?

“Y/N!” Tom said loudly behind me.

Startled, I turned around and said, “What?”

“The water’s been boiling for a while now and you’re just standing there looking at it”

Looking back at the pot, bubbles furiously rose in it along with some steam,

“Oh, silly me” I dully chuckled, grabbing the pasta and carefully letting it fall into the water.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” he asked once more. Without turning back, I answered with a high-pitched mhm.

Tom came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and letting his lips touch my shoulder, “Was it the trailer?”

“What are you talking about?” Ugh, who am I trying to fool.

“Don’t play dumb, talk to me, love” he pleaded, turning me around to face me.

I felt ashamed about my feelings, and couldn’t look him in the eye. Gently bringing my chin up to look at him, he encouraged me with a “Hm? Tell me, what’s bothering you?”

I decided that the only way I was going to get rid of these feelings was talking to him about it, so I said, “Well,” my eyes looking away, “watching you and Ciara may or may not have made me...I don’t know...a little insecure?”.

His eyes softened and as he went to speak up, I interrupted him, “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to feel this way. I know how hard you and her have worked and I’m so proud but it just looks so real. And don’t get me wrong, great job!” I said with a small laugh and thumbs up, which quickly faded, “But it feels like you’d be better off with her. I mean she’s so much cooler and talented and she’s in your same line of work and to the public you’d look-”

“Okay, hey, stop it,” Tom quickly said to stop my rambling, “You’re crazy if you think I’m gonna let you talk about my very beautiful and amazing girlfriend like that”, I scoffed and looked at him as if saying Really?. 

“I mean it!” he defended, “Listen to me. What I do in my job most of the time represents nothing from my personal life. This is one of those times. Working with Ciara was great and all, but you know what kept me going through those rough patches?” he asked me. 

“What?” I mumbled.

“You, sweetheart. You were my rock through the whole process, even though you don’t realize it. Thinking of your laugh, your cute little face, or listening to your 15 second voice messages gave me the strength I needed to continue my day. You are my everything, and I’ll be damned if I let you go. So please, do me a favour and don’t leave me? Because I’m not gonna be able to handle it” he said, the last bit in hopes of making me laugh, which it did.

I shook my head with a smile, “You’re such a cheeseball-”

“But I’m your cheeseball” he proudly said, his face coming closer to mine.

“Thank you. Really, it means a lot” I told him as I finally put my arms around his neck, his forehead against mine and feeling a lot better than I did earlier.

“Anytime, babe. Communication is key” he winked, slowly peppering kisses to my cheek, my nose, and the corner of my mouth as I giggled.

“And what kind of communication do you have in mind?” I asked him with a mischievous smile.

“Do you wanna go find out?” he answered in the same way, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I’d love t- oh wait, dinner!” I gasped, remembering the boiling pot beside us.

“Noooooo” Tom whined, throwing his head back and deprived of his true desire while I just laughed, gave him a quick kiss and turned back to the pot, his presence nor his kisses never leaving my side. 

---------------------------

feedback and requests appreciated! thanks for the appreciation on Kiss the Girl (2) <3

[herstarburststories]

He didn’t make it to 42

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Summary: it’s Dean’s birthday, you go to visit him with some news and things that need to be said.

A/N: Happy bday, De.

Warnings: so much angst, mentions of sex, hopeful/happy ending (?)

Dean’s dead. It’s Dean’s birthday and he’s dead. You can’t argue much.

Sam denied the demon blood inside him, and that didn’t stop its evil nature from growing and gasping for his fresh air to the point he was almost shocked alive. Dean denied his dad’s destructive methods’ results for the longest time, and that didn’t stop the cicatrixes in every emotion he had ever shown. You denied the absence of Dean and that didn’t stop the bricks cracking in your soul. There’s only so far you can go with your eyes closed.

So here you are. Standing in front of an empty grave. You are bigger than the dull tombstone, yet you can’t help but not to feel tall, at all. How can you even start to talk? Talking to Dean used to be easy even when it got hard and now you’re feeling like a lost kid in a supermarket. Your snide thinking spells out his name with venom, saying it isn’t easy for you to open your barmy mouth and spill out contrarian shit because this isn’t Dean, just another meaningless symbolism that Sam promises that will help. The real Dean died almost a year ago, he was burned in a hunter’s funeral, the flames dancing over his body as the smell of burnt meat invaded your nostrils. Whenever you try to remember his fragrance, that manly aroma which you loved to scent each morning, all your brain can come up with is the odor of his skin and guts burning. The smell lingers like bad perfume, it doesn’t matter how many times you wash yourself with his soap-- that only broke your heart worse.

But today is Dean’s birthday. He deserves a visit, even if it’s not him. Then you go and attempt to deal with the desolation, push it away just a little, and pick up something from the enormous pile of things you wish to tell Dean. You glance at the cold tombstone: Dean Winchester. 1979 - 2020. Beloved son, big brother, and husband. Hunter. A hero. Simple definitions that can never make it up for who he was and what he meant. You purse your lips and cough a little, a gentle wind touches your cheek so tenderly. If you were still a believer, you’d think this is some sort of sign, Dean’s presence or some other pious hoax. All you do now is to remain in quietude, a deep breath. Ultimately, your voice comes:

‘’You didn’t make it to forty two, huh?’’ You scoff humorless, reminiscing to the multiple days that Dean said he wouldn’t go past 35. He did live each year like it was the last--- you aren’t sure if it's such a good thing. If you carry on like your days are outnumbered, you are silently entertaining yourself until death's knock on your door. ‘’I always hated when you were right. Let’s be honest, you had the words of a pessimist and the wants of an optimist. Still, if you were to be right about something, it would be about a bad situation. A nest with too many vampires, how crappy the motel’s bedroom would be, or how that third glass of wine would make me tipsy. So yeah, I always hated when you were right. And look at you now! You aren’t right, you aren’t wrong. You are dead! And I’m the crazy girl screaming at an empty tombstone.’’

You let out a laugh empty of joy. That’s how a hunter’s life is: you die and people stop talking about you because it’s too sad or too long gone to hold any pity, meanwhile the ones who recall about you go loud with all the spirits in their heads. You put your hand in the pockets of the heavy leather jacket that once belonged to a green eyed man who would be turning 42 today, some strange force causing you to speak again.

‘’Wow.’’ You shake your head to the blue way you paint the scene until you notice that you never greeted him. ‘’Hey.’’ The simple word adds a comical insult to injury. ‘’Guess the dead don’t care about manners, huh?’’ You arch your eyebrows with a grin that demonstrates anything but happiness. ‘’Miracle died. Sam digged a hole next to the bunker and buried him there. He isn’t the same since you died, you know? Not the deceased dog-- Well, he wasn’t the same either. Always whining and scratching your door like a fucking cat, and sniffing your old boots. He made me company in your bed and I whined as much as he did when you didn’t come back home that day. He stood by the door most days, waiting for you to appear. I can’t judge him, I did the same.’’ You shrug, not caring about how risible that confession may look. It's true. You became as irrational as a loyal dog at some point in this sorrow. ‘’And Sam, your baby brother… I think he died with you right there, Dean. He didn’t try to bring you back as he promised, but I shouted and screamed so much. I said I would burn the bunker and throw Baby over a cliff if he didn’t-- if he didn’t let me try. I lived up to the mad woman title.’’

You are crestfallen, pacing on top of where the eldest Winchester - Sam’s brand new nomination -  supposedly was buried. You know your boots barely touch an infected land, there's no deceased man under your steps. The dead thing is in you.

‘’I spent days dragging your body everywhere and nowhere, anywhere I could catch a crumb of relief in hope to bring you back. But I couldn’t. Jack could, but that ungrateful idiot doesn’t wanna follow his grandpa steps and get too attached to mere humans, the creation or whatever. As if we are just some skin and bone to him, as if you are just another human.’’

You sit down on the tombstone, some tender solace in being close to a thing that's supposed to represent him, like sleeping hugged to a pillow or waking up to a photograph of his. Your nails sink against the gelid concrete at the thought of screaming into the sky for the new God that seemed as deaf as the last one. His calm answer to your burning pain. How he dared to tell you he knew what he was doing— as if he was the original lord and not a three years old. You can't make him do it, so you hold on the fury of some overthrown nation.

‘’Anyway, I couldn’t bring you back. Your body, well, you know how human anatomy works. Your body started to smell like death. We tried to stop with human and magic ways, and it wouldn’t work because you were dead. You should’ve seen the doctor’s face when we got you in that fancy hospital tha night. I think we traumatized the doctor with so much violence and trauma. She didn’t even give us a false hope or anything, you know? She just asked about organ donation of what was left. She just wanted to take every little thing out of you, as if you were just another accident on a Tuesday night.’’ Your shake your head as the memories and your points start to mix, it's hard to discern things and keep a straight line when you have an open wound in your insides. ‘’Well, they couldn’t bring you back to life, and neither could Rowena or whatever I looked for. Don’t be mad because I tried, Winchester. You know I’m too stubborn for my own good. I had to try.’’ you refuse to apologize, yet adds the playful words in his eulogy. ‘’But then your body started to stink and God, how could I continue to be so violent to your corpse? That was when I decided to listen to you for the first time and to Sam, so I let you go. I hate you for asking that.’’ What an ambiguous, contradictory truth to bare. You are glimpses of a person for months because of Dean Winchester, still have the energy to argue his selfless logic, just to love him even more. He's got your devotion, but man you can hate him sometimes. ‘’I hate you for going on that stupid hunt. I hate you for being dead, you giant idiot that I love so much.’’ You can't bring your mouth to say loved. "I was always telling you to let the past go and now I’m in love with a dead thing. What a comic way to end our history. I told you that Miracle died, right? I don’t know if dogs go to heaven, but I hope he’s in there with you. I wonder what your heaven is like. I bet it has Whiskey.''

Your dry chuckle makes your notice the tears in your eyes, glistening your orbs as they go like a waterfall to be absorbed by the thirsty land after leaving your cheeks.

"Sam and I-- We tried to make some sense out of this cruelty, but we can’t. You are dead and I can’t seem to put it past me. I still sleep in your bed, and I can still taste your body burning on the roof of my mouth in the quiet nights. I cried this morning because someone asked for a burger, can you believe that? It was so stupid since I used to shake my head and argue with you about cholesterol. Suddenly I was crying at lunch in a restaurant because some stupid kid asked for a burger with extra bacon. They sang Happy birthday to this dumbass child, and I interrupted with my awful crying, and wished that you were celebrating your birthday and not that kid. I guess you could say I wish death upon an innocent child with a problematic eating routine.’’ That was a whole new level of low, as if you are the one wrapped with the sentiment of laying six feet under.

‘’Everyone tells you about how grief is singular and particular with similar emotions that bring people who went through this together. They even have that crap stages thing and all that. You know what they don’t tell you?’’ Your mouth shuts for a moment, like you are waiting some response. You nod as if whatever you were expecting is handed to you. ‘’Grief can be fucking ridiculous. Who cries because of a burger full of oil and cardiac diseases? Who cries because they found a grocery store recipe under her dead boyfriend’s bed? Who falls on the ground screaming in the middle of the mall because they saw a flannel? Who? Those things are so stupid.’’ You smile like there's no tomorrow and the laugh leaving your lips is a treacherous tone. Perhaps you just aren't build up to express joy anymore. ‘’You see it in the movies and in the books and you think, you know, you think to yourself that grieving is being sad on special dates and randomly remembering the loved ones because of some screaming memory, like a flannel or their perfume. Thing is, it’s not just that. All your body seems so small, so tight for all the ache and agony inside it. Your senses go wild, you are not just one person in one place. You’re just the pain everywhere, like being pulled apart and you beg to jump in the fucking grave with them. At least you would be together, at least you would feel like one person and not suffering edges of a broken earthy thing. And--And you start remembering things you didn’t even know you had mesmerized. I look at the ceiling and remember you saying you’d paint it someday. I look at the kitchen and remember me screaming at you for giving Miracle the rest of the food. I smell Sam’s clothes and started crying because hey, they don’t smell like alcohol. You don’t iron them while drinking anymore, so of course they don’t smell like cheap beer.’’ You are chuckling through the tears and it only makes it more monstrous. ‘’Everything is you now that you are gone. Every man has something similar to you, every garden is green as your eyes, and each step sounds like you are coming home. They didn’t prepare me, not for this.’’ You said breathless. A soft single follows. The knife cuts both ways; the empty breeze and the words hurt. Where's the middle term? Where's the limbo? Where's the only safe place for you to rest your weary head?

Out of nowhere, you blurt out, ‘’I can’t masturbate,’’ I know it’s something stupid and even selfish to say, but I think you’d like to know. I can’t masturbate. That’s a part of the whole losing someone process that people are too ashamed to discuss, or maybe they don’t have the urge to be touched anymore because after someone you love dies, after someone-- the hands who touched are dead and cold, you become a haunted object. That’s how I feel most days, like I’m a haunted house because you touched me and now you’re dead and some days I believe I am too.’’ You look around the places. It's beautiful. It's lonely. It has trees and flowers and green. Not as green as Dean's eyes, but it doesn't matter anymore. He doesn't even have eyes at this point. ‘’Well, I can’t masturbate. I can’t touch myself. And I can’t ask someone else either. I tried and ended up punching the guy, Dean. I swear. I panicked when he was between my legs and just punched his nose. You’d have liked it, you were always the jealous kind. I won’t admit that, but I thought it was kinda hot. Especially when you got possessive in sex.’’ A dirty grin appeared on your lips, the echoes of luxury lasting in your eyes for a brief moment. ‘’I don’t think I can be cared for anymore, honestly. Sam tried to hug me when Miracle died and I… It was like I wasn't there. I got frozen in time, and I live in my sleep. In my nightmares you are alive. I  dream about the day you died every week and I used to wake up screaming, but now those nightmares are the only proof you were alive now that you’re as dead as the police report says this time. It was the most painful, calamitous moment for you and I swear it was a nightmare for me, but then I realized that at least I had you there, egoistical or not, I made my nightmare into a dream.’’ You aren't sure which opinion Dean would have on that. Would he understand? Would he shake his head? You wish you can ask him just this one more thing, just beg him to write it down for you on how to be without him here.

You raise on your feet, glaring at the name craved in the concrete. The tears go by still, although they're as usual as the blood in glir veins at this point. ‘’Death is so silly. What it takes, anyway?" Each word conquers more inches of pure wrath. ''People die because they stumbled on their own feet and hit their head somewhere, or they drove their car too close and too fast to the cliff, or because they were giving birth, or because they dated the wrong person, or because they were hunting a fucking vampire and got impaled. What are the chances? How stupid, and idiotic is death? Always creeping and waiting to bite and chew a piece of you-- Taking every scrap of you from me like that’s its right.’’ You are screaming, starting to kick and punch the tombstone with any piece of straight you have. Your limbs hurt and the blood is visible, but you keep going. ‘’YOUR STUPID DOG DIED, DEAN! AND YOU DIED! AND I DIED! SAMMY DIED! YEAH, IS SAID SAMMY! GO AHEAD, TELL ME ONLY YOU CAN CALL HIM THAT.’’ Another punch, your knuckles are ripped. Another kick, your boot as a hole. ‘’DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.’’ Kick. ‘’SAMMY, SAMMY, SAMMY!’’ A punch to each name. Anything to get a reaction, to get comfort. Anything. ‘’YOU CAN’T BECAUSE YOU ARE DEAD.’’ Gasping for something you don't need anymore, sweet oxygen, your eyes are on the tombstone again. And the definitions. And the trees. Your body is sore and aching. It is the kind and coercion no person wants which you needed; the freedom of feeling outside the exact pain that was inside. ‘’You can’t because you are dead. I’ve been playing some sick games in my mind, you know? Sam stopped hunting and had his closure. He was always better at letting go than you and I, but he’s still hurting. I never saw him hurting so much. I think he knows you won’t come back this time, how could you make us promise something like that?  Well, my twisted game is a bunch of misleading what ifs. What if you hadn’t gone after John? What if you hadn’t gone on that last hunt? What if you had stayed with Lisa? At first I didn’t like her much. Jealous, I admit that. But she grew on me. She gave you something I couldn’t back then and I’ll always be thankful for that. And even though it would rip me apart, I’d rather you to die at sixth after living your suburban dream with her. Have another kid besides Ben, maybe a girl this time, and just have that apple pie life. You and Sam would live close and your kids would always play. They’d be as close as brothers. Maybe I’d get a guy and bring my own kids and we could’ve a barbecue and everyone would be happy. But we don’t get soft epilogues here. It ends how it starts, right? Bloody and desperate. I thought maybe, maybe Lisa could understand what’s going through my head now. I drove to her new address and parked close to her house. I must have spent hours there, thinking if I should come in or not, If she somehow remembered after Castiel died or if I could make her brain work again if I told her the truth. But then I just drove back home and fell asleep wrapped in that stupid lumberjack flannel of yours. The one I always mocked, yeah? She may understand me, but I know you wouldn’t want that. You want her, you want me and Sam to be happy. I don’t know if I can do that, Dean. It’s like myt brittle soul shrewd and my body is just waiting to collapse.’’ You signed, overwhelmed by the battle without an anthem. The victory with no triumph. Is it still a win when you don't have someone to come home too? ‘’Your dog died, it’s the first birthday you didn’t live to see, and I bought all the things you told Mrs Butters you wanted for your birthday because it’s your birthday. I just don’t know how to celebrate it with you dead. People stop counting after they die, right? They just say he’d have been 42 or he died at 41. They give melancholy smiles when they wake up and check the day on their phones and a woe atmosphere swallows them for the rest of the day. Then they get better the next day. I think everyday is your birthday.’’ You attempt to wipe away your tears, which only causes your pulsating hand to stain your face red. ‘’Dean, for the first time, what died stayed dead! Congrats.’’ Once again, a hysterical laugh. ‘’I wish but no. What died didn’t stay dead, you are alive, so alive in my head. I swear you are there some days. I wake and watch the door, so sure you’ll come back. Sam says I’m living in delusion and I have to wake up and keep going since that's what you would want. That's enough to make him keep going, but it only makes me angry. Everyone we know and some strangers looks at me like I'm a house on fire and no longer a warm home, like I'm a car accident. They think I don't notice but I do.’’ You look at your boots, the whole is rolling out blood like your hands. You feel closer to Dean. How sick.

‘’Help, I’m still right where you left me." You plea, his love lingering like a bruise. ''I think gravity is overwhelming and it keeps me here. Sometimes it’s like I’m one of those dusted books Sam used to read. Or those Bukowski ones that you hid, so we wouldn’t see how smart you’re. You tried so hard to hide your intelligence because you didn’t think you were entitled to it. You saw yourself as the protector and never the valuable one for protection. You, the man who made an EMF out of an old radio, who rebuilt the Impala from the ground multiple times, and who knew patterns better than any detective. The man who showed me I could rely on someone other than myself. The dude with a lopsided grin, tough hands and a heart of gold. I miss you so much. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were singing all those classic rock songs and Taylor Swift pop hits, while I drove here. I would think you were home, smelling like guts because you wanted to eat before taking a shower after a hunt. I would think that you are in the Deancave, waiting for me to curl up on your lap to watch Scooby Doo or Doctor Sexy MD until we aren’t watching anymore. If I didn’t know better I would think no death could take you from me. There would be no tear us apart in our vows.’’ The only thing that keeps your organism working is that Dean died knowing how much you loved him. You never let this talk for later or never. No tomorrow is promised. That's a nice comfort, maybe that's what will help you to let go in the future. ‘’But yesterday your stupid, skink dog died and I lost the last living thing that I had from you. You know what’s more angerting? I cried and Sam cried and I noticed we were the living things you left behind and all we have is each other. All your closets of backlogged dreams were left for us-- so yeah. Sam is done hunting and he’s met a lovely girl, and they are moving in like in your domestic dreams. I’m taking care of the family business like your other contradictory dream and making sure Sam is safe enough to be normal. Because I have to, we have too. Stupidly enough, I still wait for the day you’ll burst out the door and tell us to hit the road again. I still watch every episode of your dumb tv shows to make sure I’ll know everything that happened when you ask. I still drive around in your car and close my eyes when the street is calm, only picturing you driving as Baby’s engineers go wild but those are my hands on the steering wheel. If I didn't know better, I’d think you are still around. But I know better. I still feel you all around. I love you.’’

Your monologuing ends as astutely as it stated. You get up, press a kiss to your ruined for the next weeks hands and place it on the rock with writings. You turn around and walk back to the car that you parked near, only in case of Dean wanting to see Baby. How knows? You and your clandestine faith. You lick your lip and get in the car.

You swear you the AC/DC cassette wasn't there before, but when you turn on the car and the radio it starts playing. It's the first true smile that comes to your mouth, it's bloodstained and you look like a shameless woman. With that you can deal.

It hurts a bearable hurt for now. You didn't think it was possible. Maybe someday.

The end.

(she takes a little longer to arive in heaven than sammy. his baby brother says that women are most likely to live around six years more than men. it doesn't ease him up, though. dean waited sam for too long, his platonic soulmate. and now he has to wait his romantic one too? the eldest Winchester considers it the best earthly present when the he sense you around, that smell of orange and apples. it's you, he knows before even turning around. he can't wait to love you again. your name rolls off your tongue so naturally, as if you had seen each other just yesterday: ‘’hey, y/n.’’)

But then again, nothing ever really ends, does it?

REBLOG AND COMMENT. Feedback is magic and helps me!

Starburst's footnote: It just didn't feel right to make an author's note on the top. I wanted it all only to be an arrow to the story. So, this is my side note: it's six am and I'm up writing this after inspiration kissed me with a bruise in the middle of the night. Or more like grabbed my throat. Anyway, I had to write and finish this one to post today, even pushing sleep aside. Hey, we are writers, that's what we do! I've been watching the show since I was eleven and I cried like a baby with the finale. This series was just so important and crucial to molde aspects of relationships for me. The song marjorie by Taylor Swift was used here, and so was the line "you got my devotion/ but man, I can hate you sometimes" by Harry Styles. I told you guys I would use it somewhere! A special thanks to @msmarvelouswinchester​ who helped me with her encouraging and opinon. You are the best! And with all of this I wanna say: Happy bday, Dean Winchester!

REBLOG AND COMMENT! Feedback is magic! Especially about this fic, I’d like to know your opinion. Tags in the reblog! Send an ask or dm to get in the taglist.

[wannabemobwife]

Guns, Glamour and Goodfellas - Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Blood is Thicker than Water

Dad!Mob!Tom x Mom!Mob!Reader

-Pairings: Tom Holland x Reader, Rosie Holland x Henry Osterfield, Rosie Holland x Linus Perry

-Warnings: References to sex, language, typos, sad thoughts, attempted suicide, vomiting

-Words: 4.4K

A/n: Thank you so mucg guys with all the live support. Finally done, yay, with part 1

Chapter 17: Blood is Thicker than Water

Words: 4.4K

Four years had passed and Rosie was the only one to stick around. Everything had changed. You and Tom were currently on your trip around the world. Traveling everywhere from Cuba to Greece. Taking in sights of the world.

Embarking on journey covering 3 continents and 10 countries so far. You had already visited the Taj Mahal in India, the Amalfi Coast for some sun, and Iceland just for the blue lagoon hot springs. You and Tom were having the time of your lives, it being the perfect distraction from everything back home.

Rosie was running the mob along with her new right hand and consigliere, Linus. Rosie had been taking on the mantle as the new leader of the Holland mob. Picking up where Parker left off. Trying to do him justice. Tom had helped her learn the ropes but she always had that fiery personality desired for a mob persona.

After four years, Rosie learned to embrace her grief instead of shoving it away, she began to visit Parker’s grave more and more. Tried to every week, but life got in the way. She would bring a new set of flowers to freshen up the old ones.

She knew today would be especially hard, every year it was impossible. Rosie could barely get through the day. Today was her 20th birthday, marking 4 years of celebrating without Parker.

Rosie and Henry’s relationship had grown into one full of misery. Trapped in a loveless relationship, but he was still her best friend. With just one look he would know what she was thinking.

Over the past couple years, Henry has been so obsessed with keeping her safe that it was driving her mad. Rosie understood that Henry didn’t want to lose her like he lost Parker, but Rosie ran a mob and danger followed her everywhere. They started drifting apart when everything happened with the Holland family, creating unfixable cracks in their foundation.

Lately, Rosie had been feeling someone watching her every move. Following her whenever she would be downtown. Feeling a presence she hasn’t felt in a while. Constantly shivering in fear, feeling as though she was observed. From then on, every move she made was calculated and thought out.

When Rosie first took on the mantle, she cleaned house. Eliminating those whose loyalty would always lie with Tom. Trying to affirm the fact that she was so much more than just Tom’s daughter. She had let William go and few others because she brought in Linus.

Even after starting her new regime, things have been a bit off, lately. She hasn’t been sleeping through the night. She’d jolt out of sleep, drenched in a cold sweat. Henry would be startled awake as well by her movement as move to comfort her.

“Roo, you okay?” Henry asked groggily, yawning a bit. Rosie gasping to catch her breath. Her dreams were supposed to be an escape but now they were doing more harm than good. “I don’t know. I keep having these dreams about Parker. Like he was trying to tell me something,” Rosie said, gathering her bearings. It wasn’t everyday she was visited by her deceased twin brother. “From beyond the grave?…Rosie, he’s gone,” Henry pondered. “I know, I just can’t shake this feeling. That he is… he’s.”

“What? Still alive? Honey, we buried him. You cried over him. If he was still alive don’t you think we would’ve shown his face by now. Wilson and Carter are gone, they have been for awhile now,” Henry explained, hoping it would bring her some solace. Henry wasn’t blind to the change in her demeanor, she did open up to him about being followed everywhere she went. “I guess you’re right. But my dreams feel so real,” Rosie whispered, lying back down. Ready to drift off into a deep sleep. One not tainted by the memory of Parker. “Go, back to sleep baby.” Henry said, he knew they would be getting up in a few hours anyway. Tomorrow was a very big day. Henry knew he and Rosie had been drifting but he was all set to give her the best birthday ever.

Henry had bought tickets for you and Tom to fly in for her birthday and stay for awhile. This time of year was hard for all of you but it wasn’t fair to Rosie. The day that is supposed to be about her has always been shared but now no one dared acknowledge it. It was just a reminder of what had been lost.

“Good morning, beautiful. Happy birthday,” Henry whispered, peppering her face in kisses as the morning sun shone through the curtains.

“Thank you,” Rosie sighed. Every year was a challenge. It got a little better every year but she knew she would never fully accept his absence.

“What do you have planned today?” Henry inquired, he was always one for big gestures. He absolutely hated that she no longer enjoyed her birthday.

As a kid she loved the idea of turning a year older, getting to grow up and getting loads of presents of course. You always made the priority of throwing the most perfect themed parties for Rosie and Parker. One year they had a pirate themed pool party with a treasure hunt and another a circus/carnival theme with fair games and a petting zoo. You loved going all out for their birthday. Just spoiling them in general.

Rosie and Parker, also Tom, can’t forget about him, made life worth living. You and Tom did everything for your kids, never wanting them to feel an ounce of sadness.

But the times had changed, you were no longer the mother to a son. It was just Rosie and you thanked God everyday that she was still there but your heart will forever be scarred.

Scars take forever to heal, sometimes never. There will never be a day when you don’t miss Parker or he doesn’t cross your mind. Everything you did from the moment he died was for him, in one way or another. You knew the grief would never stop but you hoped Rosie would one day be able to move on with life.

“You know…” Rosie murmured. “Oh yeah, say hi for me,” Henry nodded along remembering Rosie was going to spend the day next to her better half, Parker.

Rosie proceeded to get dressed and ready for the day. She wore a tight grey dress showing off the perfect curves of her body. And a pair of black high heels to complete her power woman ensemble. “Henry, you aren’t throwing me a party right? I really don’t want one,” Rosie inquired. Rosie would prefer to have all birthdays pass and wash away but she knew Henry wouldn’t allow that. At the most she would have a nice dinner with him and watch a movie.

“You’ll just wait to find out,” Henry grinned cheekily. In reality he was throwing her surprise party to help her find the joy in her birthday again.

“Henry seriously, not this year,” Rosie announced. “It’s never any year. You haven’t celebrated in 3 years. You need to get over this.”

“Get over what? The death of my twin brother?” Rosie asked, astounded at Henry’s previous statement. The nerve he had, wow.

“Roo, I’m sorry,” Henry tried to apologize but Rosie left in a huff.

“Talk later, Linus is waiting for me,” Rosie yelled, already walking out of the room. “Linus, you ready to go?” Rosie said, as she found him drinking coffee in her kitchen. He sat at the bar, legs dangling off the chair as she came down. “Yes, Roo,” he said, a little out of breath from taking the awe of her beauty.

“Please don’t call me that around Henry… What’s on the agenda?” Rosie asked Linus as she poured herself her own cup of coffee.

“Well, Shaw owes you 3 million and the deadline you gave him expired,” Linus explained, he knew Rosie hated having things held over her head. She would prefer to get them out of the way as soon as possible.

“Well then, let’s go pay him a visit. I could use a drink. Afterwards, can you drop me off at the cemetery?” “Of course, Roo,” Linus said. Rosie huffed in response, rolling her eyes at the name. Linus loved to get a rise out of Rosie. Her remarks to his comments were just a sign of their playful banter.Rosie’s relationship with Linus was complicated. They were partners, most of the time.

Rosie had gone really dark over the past years. There were days where she refused to get out of bed. Sitting in bed wasting the entire day away. Henry would come home from work and try his best to comfort her but after Parker he was just as lost as her. They lived in the same house but not truly together. Not as lovers, maybe as roommates.

All Rosie could feel were thoughts of hopelessness, desolation, and misery. Never being able to find that light at the end of the tunnel. She didn’t deserve to find it, thinking she was the one who pushed you and Tom away. Blaming herself for Parker. All these feelings and Henry wasn’t there, too busy with his own life.

One day, Rosie had gotten real low. Couldn’t find a way out so she went to the gun room grabbed the closest pistol, a bottle of scotch, a glass and sat in Tom’s office. She rested on Tom’s chair trying to find the will to end it all. To point the pistol and pull the trigger.

It would be so easy, the flick of a finger. No more pain. She tried not to think about everything she was giving up. Never seeing you or Tom again, or Henry. Never loving him again, if they ever did manage to find their way back to each others arms. Never experiencing the things that made life worth living.

All her thoughts were halted as Linus barged in. He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw the broken girl hold a gun unto her temple, its safety clicked off. The room was cold as an icy chill ran down his spine.

“Rosie, what are you doing!?!” Linus thundered, trying to stop her before she pulled the trigger. “I don’t know. I think I’m trying to end it all,” Rosie whispered as tears streamed down her face. Deep down she didn’t want to pull the trigger, she wasn’t ready to say goodbye.

“End what all? Your life?” Linus asked, trying to talk her off the metaphorical ledge. Something had to happen that pushed her to this point. Rosie had to be drowning and calling out for help but no one came. “No, it was never about killing myself. It was just about ending the pain and suffering,” she cried.

“Rosie, listen to me. There is so much more you have to live for. This will pass. Think about everything you are giving up.” Linus tried to appeal to the people she loved, you, Tom, and Henry. Losing Rosie would no longer make you a mother. How could Rosie take that away from you?

“I already have and it hasn’t, for 2 years. How do you know it will get any better?” Rosie begged for a true answer. She had been slumping around, letting the days pass her by as she stood silent, screaming non-vocally for help. Trapped in an asylum of misery. “I don’t. But I’ll be there to help you,” Linus exclaimed, giving her the truthful response she wanted. Rosie just needed to hear that she wasn’t alone in this world anymore. “No, you won’t. You’ll just leave like everyone else. Henry doesn’t love me anymore. My parents left. I’m all alone.” “Roo, you aren’t alone. Just hand me the gun and we can work this out. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here,” Linus pleaded. That was the first time he had used that nickname. The name had been reserved for only Henry, Parker and you. In that moment Rosie saw someone she missed so dearly in Linus, Parker. Parker was the only person who was 100% there for her. He was there to talk her off the ledge. He was there at her weakest and in a split second he was standing in front of her.

Rosie gave in, removing the gun from her temple, clicking the safety one and handing it over. She slowly stood up, coming over to Linus and collapsed in his arms. Rosie whispered a small “I missed you” as he held the broken girl. He was the only one who could pull her out. Not Henry, god she wished it was Henry. Linus understood her pain and didn’t try to fix everything.

Henry was the opposite. Constantly worrying about Rosie and trying to find a solution for everything. Things from the slightest backache to feelings of hopelessness. Rosie didn’t need fixing she just needed to be heard and Linus made sure she was. At Harmon’s, the bar was quite empty. Just Shaw and a few of his men. Shaw has borrowed money from Rosie to clear of a few charges. The Holland name had some pull in the legal community. Dating back to Dom’s days but Tom mostly laid down roots.

Linus entered first, firing two shots to take out Shaw’s capos. “Jesus Christ,” yelled Shaw as his protection thudded against the floor.

Rosie followed Linus in, making her presence known, “Shaw, you know I’m not a fan of people not staying true to their word. Do you have my money?”

“Rosie, doll. I paid you in full already. If this just your sad attempt to stir something up we can work this out another time. Shoo, let me finish my drink,” Shaw snickered. “Shaw, I know your games. You have 3 minutes to transfer my money right now. One for each million. I have Linus checking for a deposit of 3 million, make this simple and do it,” Rosie stated with an unchanging expression. “I need more time, that’s not enough. It’s all in separate accounts,” Shaw asserted, his voice starting to waver as he stared down the barrel of her pistol. “Well then, I’d hurry if I were you. Here’s your phone. Just wire the money… Starting now,” Rosie exclaimed as Linus devoted his stare to watch. Glancing at the seconds tick away.

“Fine, I’m going,” Shaw screamed, about to crack under the pressure.

“2 minutes left,” Linus chimed in. “Okay, I’m just inputing the dollar amount, it’s a lot of zeros.” Shaw tried to explain. He was about to lose his life because he was slow.

“50 secs.”

“I’m going, I’m going.”

“10, 9, 8, 7, 6—“

“I’m done,” Shaw said, letting out the breath he was holding.

“That was fast but not fast enough,” Rosie whispered raising her gun square to the back of his head. Her finger slipped to the trigger and fired a shot.

BANG

“Wow, I didn’t think you actually kill him,” Linus said, impressed by her ruthlessness.

“He was getting on my nerves, besides he will never borrow money from me again if he is dead,” Rosie chuckled. “You know I found that really hot,” Linus whispered in her ear. “You always do.” Rosie grinned at his advances, trying to pull her close to his chest. “Hey, this can’t keep happening.”

“Oh, come on. You say that every time. I can’t hide my feelings for you anymore.”

“Well, you are going to have to. I was clear about what this was. So I’m going to ask you this once more time, what do you want?” “I want you.” “Well you can have me in the bathroom in 2 minutes.” “Roo, you’re too good to me,” Linus smirked, following her as she glided to the restroom.

Everything lasted about 30 mins. They were in and out in a flash. The bar now smelled of sex and a dead bodies. Linus was the first to finish, coming out of the bathroom looking disheveled as hell. Sporting the same juts had a quickie look. Linus went to pull the car around after fixing his hair in the mirror.

Linus would never be Henry and that was a good thing, Linus was different. By no circumstances was Rosie in love with Linus or will ever be in love with him, he was merely a distraction. Rosie knew her relationship with him was wrong but he made her feel alive once more.

Rosie emerged from bathroom breathing heavy, almost gasping for air, with sweat glistening on her chest. She straightened out her dress as combed down her hair. Stepping out of the doorway, the smell of a fresh rotting body hit her.

Rosie immediately turned around and lunged for the toilet. She had been in the business for 3 years and never before had her body reacted this way. She hurled into the toilet for a good ten minutes. Eventually bringing her head out of the toilet bowl to wipe off her mouth. The air was now coupled with sex, dead bodies and vomit. She was clueless to what forced her to keep her head in a toilet bowl.

After her nausea spell passed her, she had Linus drop her off near the cemetery. “Oh, you can drop me off here. I need something from the pharmacy anyways,”Rosie informed Linus. She was planning on picking up something for her stomach, it was very unlikely for her to throw up suddenly.

“Ok, Roo. Do you need a ride home?” Linus questioned.

“No, Jared is supposed to pick me up. Thank you,” Rosie exclaimed, getting out of the car. “Alright. Happy birthday by the way. Can I have a kiss goodbye?” “Thank you and no. I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah for the party,” Linus called out slowly driving away. “Wait! What did you say?” Rosie remarked but he was already long gone.

Rosie was mentally kicking herself, she didn’t have the willpower to deal with a party tonight. She specifically told Henry, not to throw one but since when did he listen to her.

Their road to ultimately heartbreak was a two way street. Both of them had done something to warrant the loveless relationship. Rosie admitted to herself, that she eventually did stop trying. She stopped constantly asking if Henry wanted to go out for dinner and what time he would be home. Rosie prefers to blame Henry but in reality, she was then one who let go first.

Rosie stopped showing him love, too distraught by his every move because it was a constant reminder her brother wasn’t there anymore. Henry would try to work him into every little conversation, remembering Parker in everything. It grew too much for Rosie. Rosie had never been one for confronting her feelings, preferring to shove them down but how could she, when Henry would never shut up about Parker.

Parker was the main reason a wedge had been driven between them, but she wouldn’t dream of blaming her dead brother. Who couldn’t even defend himself. Rosie needed a reset after Parker but Henry was stuck living in the past.

Rosie was ready to start her life with Henry after graduation but he couldn’t let go. After a while, Rosie became just like him. Stuck drifting into a void of pure sadness. Rosie couldn’t let go, along with Henry. Their lives went in different directions, Rosie was blossoming into a ruthless leader who would only act soft around Parker, vowing to visit his grave everyday. And Henry got left behind at some point, not seeing how he fit in her life anymore.

In the pharmacy she scanned the aisles for some sort of quick remedy. If Henry was throwing her a surprise party, one she specifically asked not for. Rosie didn’t have days to recuperate, maybe a few hours.

She found the largest bottle of Pepto-Bismol and stopped by the card aisle. Carefully grasping a birthday card for her favorite person. One that was funny yet endearing. Parker was addicted to all the corned jokes she would crack. She made her way to the register. In front of her stood a little old woman, she wore a purple floral dress and her white stained hair was pulled into a clip.

“Just this for you sweetie? Oh, who’s birthday is it?” Asked the little lady, referring to the birthday card Rosie grabbed for Parker.

“My brother’s and um, could I also get this,” Rosie responded as her eyes glanced below her. Skimming over the candy bars, gum packets and eventually landing on a pregnancy test. Come to think of it, Rosie was late about a week and a half.

“Of course, honey. Would you like to use the restroom?” Queried the lady. Rosie nodded in response. She finished paying and quickly made her way to the restroom. Following the directions on the box carefully, she needed to be a hundred percent sure, before she told anyone.

Right around the corner was the cemetery. She glided through iron gates, walking across the cobble stone path before she came upon the place she loved most in the world. The place where she would hold nothing back, spilling everything to him.

Life of a mob boss was dangerous but things started to seem eerie for Rosie. She would feel weird presences or someone watching her at eerie times. The same feeling plagued her at the cemetery, today. She knelt down to the headstone, engraved in it read “Here Lies Parker Jackson Holland, Taken from us too soon, a son, a brother, and a friend.”

“Hey, P. You probably get tired of me visiting you. Everyday I’m here and sometimes I think I do it for my benefit more than yours. I hope that wherever you are, you are happy and most likely you are with Charlotte. I’m happy for you, Parker. No matter how much I wish you were here with me, I know that you are happy that you escaped this life. Happy 20th birthday.” Rosie whispered, fixing the flowers that began to wilt from yesterday.

“I have some really amazing news to share with you, but it will have to wait till next time. You can’t be the first person I tell, I’m sorry. He deserves to know before you…. Oh my god, you’ll never believe what happened at work…”

This is the one thing that brought Rosie solace. She persistently blames herself for that fateful night 3 years ago. Rosie would spend hours kneeling next to his headstone. She would tell him about her life and read off the postcards you and Tom sent from your travels. Talking to him as if he was still there.

Rosie glanced at her watch, it was half past five and she hadn’t even called Jared yet to pick her up. “I’m sorry P, I gotta go. Henry, god love him but, that bastard is throwing me a birthday party. I guess I should at least make an appearance. I’ll see you tomorrow, I love you.” Rosie said, walking towards the parking lot.

She stood under the gate for ten minutes waiting for Jared to arrive and escort her home. The weather completely shifted as the sun set around her. The once blue sky changed to one painted with vibrant yellows and pinks. The sky was a sight not to be missed but she could do without the freezing winds that accompanied.

A chill ran down her spine as she waited in the darkness. Feeling a sensation that only warranted panic. Rosie felt someone watching her once again. Maybe from a far or up close, but she definitely wasn’t alone. It was silly that she let feelings like those get to her. She was a mob boss for god sakes, scaring even the most menacing of men into submission.

Rosie eyes started darting everywhere a noise left. In the corner of her eye she caught a figure drenched in shadows approaching. She tried to scramble for her gun, but soon realized she left it in Linus’s car.

The stranger kept making advances and managed to get to her. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed a cloth to her mouth. Causing her to be consumed in darkness as her body grew limp.

Back at the manor, Henry was setting everything up perfectly. His mission was to make Rosie love her birthday once more. While Henry was working hard at hanging the birthday banner and decorating every corner with balloons, Linus was no help at all. Lounging on the couch and finishing a beer.

“So are you going to pick up Rosie and get off your ass?” Henry barked, pulling the coffee out from under Linus, causing him to spill his beer.

“Seriously, dude. What’s your problem?” Linus snapped.

“My problem is my girlfriend isn’t here. Aren’t you supposed to pick her up?” “No, Jared is.” “Linus, Jared is here. He has been for a few hours. Where is she?” Henry questioned, starting to worry. “I don’t know. Last, I left her at the cemetery.” “Henry! It’s so good to see you,” you cheered as Tom and you walked in. Hugging Henry after not seeing him for awhile. It still pained you to visit, traveling was the perfect distraction.

“Hope you have been taking care of yourself, son. Where’s Rosie?” Tom questioned. “Yeah, I’ve been good. At the moment, I don’t know where she is. She’s missing,” Henry concluded. You and Tom stood completely still as you processed the news. It wasn’t everyday that your daughter would disappear into thin air, but her job did keep her life in danger.Rosie missing was uncommon. It had happened once or twice in the past but that was 3 years ago. So much had changed, for the better. Yet, you were once again in the same place, in the house you left because everything was too familiar. Rosie missing was all too familiar.

Rosie came to. Opening her eyes to a place she chose to forget. For all she knew it was an exact replica. Warehouses riddled all of London’s ports, she could be anywhere.

“Text your driver and tell him Henry picked you up for a special birthday dinner,” Rosie’s kidnapper barked, thrusting a phone in front of her.

“Really? You kidnapped me? After 3 years of being leader of London’s most feared mob, it’s like been there done that. Do you want money or something? I have a party to get to.” Rosie quipped, annoyed with they man’s pursuits.

“Oh, I know. I believe happy birthday is granted. 20 years is a milestone.”

“Whatever, I don’t really like my birthday anyway.”

“Wanna talk about it?” The stranger pestered on. Rosie had learned lesson from the last time she was restrained to chair, rope around her wrists and ankles, ceasing blood flow. This time it was zip ties, a little basic for any mobster she has had a run with.

“No. I want you to let me go. Seriously, what do you want? I don’t think you know who I am. Or who my father is,” Rosie asserted.

“A moment alone together is all I ask and I know exactly who you are and who your dad is. Correction, who our dad is.”

“Parker.”

A/n: Finally the end. Alright, I'm going to bed. There is no set schedule for the sequel series, I'm just going to post a chapter when I finish writing it. Let me know if you like to be tagged in the sequel chapters.

Guns, Glamour and Goodfellas Masterlist

Taglist: @thenoddingbunny-blog @adriannauni @dummiesshort @bi-lmg @allthisfortommy @quaksonhehe @housepartyprotocol

[ofbooksandaesthetics]

Battle of the Bands

Attack on Titan/ Shingeki no Kyojin 

Levi/Reader

Modern Band AU

Summary: As the guitarist of The 104th, you are invited to play with your favourite band The Scouts. 

Warnings: slight profanity but not much 

Author’s note: I listened to Queen of White Lies by Orion Experience 10 times in one bus journey and couldn’t help but imagine Jean singing it about Mikasa. And voila! This imagine was born :) 

From a young age, you’d always been obsessed with music. From your dad playing jazz on a lazy Sunday afternoon to your mum playing R&B as she cleaned, you had always been surrounded by it. It followed you everywhere so it was no surprise when you were gifted a guitar for your 9th birthday. 

You spent hours each day practising fingerpicking, then moving onto chords and then fully-fledged songs. As you grew so did tastes - and your guitar collection. 

Before moving into the 6th grade, your family moved for a new job, leaving you without friends and having to start a new life in the city of Trost. The one thing that was ever consistent was the strings of your guitar and the beats from the speakers, which became your solace in the coming weeks. And said beats caught the attention of your new next-door neighbour. 

Jean Kirstein was also massively into music, and when he walked past your house he could hear the amp blaring from your open window. He became enthralled and would often leave his window open to catch even just a few notes. 

The Saturday before school started, Jean was forced by his mother to introduce himself to you (she said you had to have at least one friend before starting school) and by doing so Mrs Kirstein caused a life long friendship to bloom. He was forced into your house by your mother and lead upstairs to your room. He was greeted by band posters, from MCR to The Beatles, and an acoustic and electric guitar hanging on the wall side by side. But what caught his gaze was the massive “SCOUTS” poster above your bed. 

“WOW! That’s so cool, you like The Scouts!” He exclaimed as he entered your room, causing you to jump from your magazine and stare at the brown-haired boy invading your space.

“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?” You shouted, giving your mum a quizzical glare as she smiled at the boy's excitement. Your voice seemed to pull the boy out of his oasis and he met your eyes with a blush and a shrug.

“I’m Jean. My mum sent me, we live next door.” Before you could introduce yourself, he had already started to speak again “I’ve heard you playing your guitar. You’re really good!” 

At this your mum left the two of you two it, only returning 3 hours later to find you both on the floor, with you playing whilst Jean sang along. Noticing the time, Jean jumped up remembering his mum warning to be back by dinnertime. 

“It’s been great meeting you! If you want I can meet you outside on Monday and I’ll introduce you to my friends. They’d love to hear you play too! Connie’s really into the drums and Marco has been learning bass.”

Hearing this your eyes lit up and your mum’s heart warmed at the idea of you finally enjoying your new life.

“That sounds great, I’ll see you then!” You called as your mum lead him out.

                                         4 YEARS LATER

The years passed quickly and it didn’t take you long to forget the pain of your old life and become enamoured with your new friends. Jean did indeed introduce to his friends Connie, Sasha and Marco, and it didn’t take long for you to become the best of friends. The five of you would all meet Connie’s garage, sometimes just chatting but more often than not bringing along your instruments for a jam session. Four years went by of you playing lead guitar, Marco jamming on bass, Connie smashing on percussion and Jean accompanying with his gruff drawl, whilst Sasha sat atop of the counter, sadly not having any musical talents other than occasional tamborining. And the four years went by easily until Sasha let out a suggestion.

“You guys should start a band. Like a proper one, with gigs and shit” She declared, soon after stuffing her mouth with a cake Mrs Springer had brought in. 

“See at least someone appreciates my musical talents” quipped Jean with a quirk of his eyebrows, causing you all to laugh. 

“I’ve got to admit, I’m down! We’ve been playing for years, we even played at last years prom.” Seeing no reason against the idea, you voiced your opinion. 

“Yeah but that was prom. We know all of them anyway, if we did gigs it would be to strangers and critics and stuff” Huffed Connie. 

“Yeah, and potential talent scouts! Imagine if we got signed! What do you think Marco?” Jean turned to face he freckled boy awaiting his response. 

“I guess it could be fun.” He said, tilting his head to the side and turning to Connie. “I think we should” 

With a consensus of four out of five, all eyes were set on Connie, pleading him to agree. He spluttered, not expecting you all to be serious. After a moment of staring at you all incredulously, he finally gave in.

“Fine! But if we got told we’re shit it’s on you guys” He sighed, but was drowned out by all your cheers. 

                       2 YEARS LATER

After that day, you had all put in the effort to perfecting your craft and coming up with your own songs. You and Jean would have weekly sleepovers, pulling all-nighters to get the perfect verses. And it wasn’t long until you booked your first gig, which was a success. Nearly the whole grade had turned up to support you, and you soon became a local legend. And in honour of them, you had named your band The 104th, due to being the 104th grade since your school was founded. 

Your increased fame, got you gigs outside of Trost, on larger stages than the small bars you were used to. You had released your first album and we’re having a small jam session, when Sasha’s, who had taken up the role as manager, phone rang. You all carried on with your conversation until Sasha quickly stood up and ran across the room, her voice getting slightly louder, causing you all to stare at her.

“OMG! That sounds great, we can be there for the soundcheck in less than an hour. Thank you so much, for this opportunity. We appreciate it! Thank you, bye!” She exclaimed with wide eyes as her smile grew and grew. After ending the call she whipped around, before letting out a screech 

“OI, OI! What’s going on?” Asked Connie, as he walked up to Sasha flicking her forehead as she squealed again. 

“GUESS WHO’S OPENING FOR THE SCOUTS?!” She all but screamed whilst running to the front of the garage and throwing your jackets at you all. Realising what she meant you stood in a state of shock before opening your mouth. 

“What do you mean? Opening for The Scouts. As in THE SCOUTS? They’re playing tonight, we can’t open for them.” You justified, meeting Jean’s stunned gaze. 

You two had always imagined what it would be like to meet your legends, let alone open for them. After your initial meeting, the two of you had gone on for hours about your favourite songs by the band and sang along to them. You had even let him in on your crush on the lead guitarist, Levi Ackerman, for heaven’s sake. As good as an opportunity this was, you were a nervous wreck. It was one thing to play on the same stage that your favourite band had stepped on, but to play with them and meet them. That was a thing of its own. 

You were knocked from your thoughts by a shoe to your head, and as you focused back in you watched Connie running around like a headless chicken. Attempting to back up his drum kit, he panicked until Sasha assured him there’d be one there for him. The rest of you seemed to kick into action and you ran about gathering your equipment before rushing home to grab gig-worthy clothes. You all met up back at Connie’s house before all piling into Jean’s minivan. Connie and Sasha were as loud as always but you, Jean and Marco seemed to still be too shocked to talk.

As you rolled up to the venue, you saw a queue of about 20 Scout super fans lined up three hours before the gig even started. You wondered how many were your fans, as Sasha had sent out announcements on every social media site possible after you guys left. You hauled your guitar case out of the van before following behind Sasha into the main doors of the venue. The crew were rushing about everywhere, and if you weren’t already used to the atmosphere you were sure you’d pass out. As you walked into the main hall, your eyes fell to the band on top of the stage. All five of you froze, in the realisation that you were in the same room as your childhood heroes. Putting your kit down, you watched as Hange Zoe lazily sat on her drum set, tapping out a quiet beat, as the lead singer Erwin, counted in the beat. Miche Zacharias swayed his hips as he set out the bassline, and Levi almost languidly strummed his electric guitar. 

The five of you were pulled behind the stage before you could watch their practice start but you could still hear it as they performed their soundcheck. Experienced in the world of gigs, the four of you prepped your instruments, tuning them in case they had been messed up in the hurry of your departure. And by the time you’d finished the Scouts were walking towards you. Hange greeted you first. 

“HI! OMG, we’ve heard so much about you guys. You guys are practically famous around here!” She blurted out, her excitement surprising you all. Connie seemed to be frozen as his inspiration complimented you guys. Miche let out a greeting and moved on to sit down. Leaving Erwin and Levi in front of you. Erwin stepped forward and placed out his hand, shaking and greeting you all individually. Now there was just Levi left. 

Your eyes met his and you couldn’t help but blush, as he gave a small nod. Appreciative of the small gesture, you calmed slightly until Jean ruined it

“HI! We love you guys so much. Y/N even has a crush on Levi!” He blurted, his face turning bright red after realising what he had said. You gasped and without thinking smacked him across the head. 

“WHAT THE HELL’S WRONG WITH YOU? WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?” But before you could apologise and defend yourself to Levi and Erwin, you were escorted to the stage for your own soundcheck. Glaring at Jean, you got in position, and were done in half an hour. 

After the soundcheck, you were given time to rest, giving you all time to calm down, after the more than lively introduction. You eventually forgave Jean for his outburst but not without consequences. He would be carrying your gear for the next year’s worth of gigs.

You hadn't yet gained back the confidence to talk Levi but had spoken to the other members of The Scouts. Miche and Erwin told you about how their touring band had ditched them last minute and how they needed another opening band pronto. You were astonished to find out that Hange herself had requested you guys, but it filled your heart with warmth knowing someone as famous as her held your small-town band in high regards. 

Everyone could sense your apprehension to talking to Levi but we’re all shocked when the quiet man joined you whilst getting a drink. You almost blushed when you noticed him next to you but pushed the feeling down and smiled at him. Although Jean had embarrassed you beyond belief, there was no reason to push away your childhood dream and miss the opportunity to talk to him. 

“You know you we’re what inspired me to start learning the guitar?” You said. Levi didn’t reply but you decided his silence wasn’t in annoyance. “My parents were always super into music anyway but when I heard your guys' debut album it pushed me towards the guitar.” You watched him finish making his tea and leave but before he sat down, he turned his head over his shoulder. 

“I’m glad to hear it” He replied, turning again and leaving. You smiled, happy that he didn’t think you were a complete freak. 

                      2 HOURS LATER 

The time had finally arrived. From the side of the stage, you could see a sea of people filling the venue and could hear the symphony of chatter. The boys were stood next to you, panting with nerves. You had never performed to such a large crowd before. You took a sharp breath before turning to them. 

“Come on boys! We’ve done this before and we’ll do it again. This is just another small step before we get our own main stage like this!” Your small pep talk seemed to calm the boys and caught the attention of Erwin and Levi who were waiting to watch your performance from the side-lines. You smiled at the two but we’re now filled with dread as you realised they would be watching. You threw that fear away and gave Marco a side hug as you fixed your strap, and then followed Jean to the stage. 

The lights blinded you but once your vision cleared you all but gasped at the sheer amount of sweaty bodies in front of you. You beamed brightly and gave a wink to a figure in the balcony. At least you could seem confident even if you were dying inside.  

The beat of the drum surrounded you and Marco’s strumming blared out from the amps. You started plucking at your guitar and forgot about the crowd. Jean’s gravely word floated out into the dark room, and it was easy to forget you were on a stage and instead it felt like you were back in Connie’s house. As the song reached the chorus, you and Marco joined in, accompanying Jean. Eventually, you loosened up to a point where all three of you were able to dance slightly to the beat during the bridge. This seemed to get the crowd going even more and you let out a laugh, completely forgetting your inhibitions. [I imagined them performing Queen of White Lies]

Once the song finished, Jean introduced himself, and you prepared yourself for another half an hour of playing and dancing. But it passed quickly and before you knew it you we’re all sat on the sofa. Connie was still flushed chugging on his 3rd bottle of water whilst the rest of you leant back with smiles upon your faces. Your attention was piqued as The Scouts took the stage and you all shouted words of encouragement to them. This brought a smile to their faces, including a small smirk on Levi’s. You all rushed to the sidelines to watch and we’re in awe as you saw the four of them play as if they were reading each other's minds. It was as if they were symbiotic, each knowing what to do without even the slightest hesitation. 

Even though you tried to focus on all of them, your focus always came back to Levi. You watched how his brow rested into a scowl as he neared a faster part of the song and how he threw his head back when lost in the moment. Your eyes widened when he took his shirt off after four songs, which Jean noticed, and started to nudge you for. Time seemed to go by so quickly that you barely noticed them finish their final song. They waved to the crowd as they left but stayed in the wings as the crowd screamed for an encore. Erwin still seemed to smile and nudged Levi towards the five of you. 

“Do you guys want to join us for the encore?” He asked gruffly, his eyes set on you. You looked at the rest of the band and you all nodded before you verbally replied. 

“Of course! What song are you thinking?” 

“Nirvana - Love Buzz? You guys know it?” Miche asked, wiping some water from his chin. You all nodded in unison and before you know it you were all kitted up and back on stage. 

The crowd went wild seeing both The Scouts and The 104th back on stage and you couldn’t help but smile as you found Levi stood next to you. You guys let loose on the song and you even attempted to have a little contest with Levi during the guitar solo for dominance. This gained a smile for the man, and you guys finished the song in no time. 

Leaving the stage for the last time, you gave out a clumsy bow before running off stage. You guys went to get changed and pack up your gear but before you could get in the van the Scouts we’re back in front of you. Erwin took the lead yet again. 

“We loved having you guys on stage with us! And after some thinking, we’d love it if you replaced our old band with us on the rest of the tour.” 

At this Jean slammed the van door and stared at Erwin in shock. The five of you looked at each other in shock. The silence was eventually broken by Connie, who let out a scream as he ran around the van, followed by Sasha letting out profanities. The rest of you gushed and thanked the other band profusely not knowing how to appropriately respond. After formally Sasha accepted the other, Hange launched into giving out hugs, whilst Miche and Erwin gave out handshakes. Levi ignored the rest of your bandmates and made his way to you.

“I look forward to more guitar battles.” Levi remarked as dryly as ever but with a small smirk playing on his lips. Luckily this time, the others were too distracted and you were able to reply with some confidence. 

“You mean to look forward to losing right?” you quipped, knowing this would be the start of something great. 

[diaryofabeautyfiend]

Warnings: unprotected sex (m/f), adultery, divorce, a little fluff, a little angst

Plain Gold Ring Part III

For All We Know

“For all we know

We may never meet again

Before we go

Make this moment live again

We won't say goodbye

Until the last minute

I'll hold out my hand

And my heart will be in it” -Nina Simone

———————————————————

One month. One month before you moved to Chicago. One month until you start your new life. One month for Andy Barber to convince you that you belong together.

The night you retuned was a whirlwind of emotions. In the four days you were gone Andy had moved out and filed for divorce. You didn’t know what happened in that house and you didn’t dare ask. All Andy offered was, “She doesn’t know about you.” That gave you little solace. Made you feel no less guilty. And yet, here he was in your apartment.

He knew her routine and promised they wouldn’t cross paths. Though, it wouldn’t be unheard of if he was at your place considering the mountain of work you had to clear. He could explain it away.

You said no physical contact but you couldn’t help stroking the dented skin on his left ring finger. The little void of lighter skin a spectral reminder of his former life. That was the only conscious touching you did that night.

You kept the conversation light. You spoke about the new firm with an excitement in your voice that even shocked you. He agreed your offer was far too good to pass up. He had been to Chicago a couple of times. It was bitterly cold there for far too long. Though, if all of this worked out, he would just have to get used to it.

It was getting late. Neither of you wanted to say goodbye. “Can I stay the night?” he whispered.

He had no malicious intent whatsoever. He just wanted to be next to you. Your stupid brain was now deferring all decision making to your heart. That bitch was more easily swayed than your pussy. Of course you said yes.

He wanted so badly to hold you against his body and drown in your warmth but he promised. He stayed as far away from you on the bed as possible. In the night, out of habit, your body had made its way to the middle of your California king. And, purely out of habit, Andy draped an arm over your side.

——————————————————————

You let Andy sleep in the next morning. You went to the gym, showered and made breakfast. When he found you in the kitchen he was freshly showered and wearing some well loved pajama pants. The no touching rule did not apply to morning in the kitchen.

He padded in on bare feet unintentionally sneaking up on you. When he kissed the back of your neck you jumped.

“Did I scare you?” he chuckled.

“I’m not used to having someone here.”

He poured himself a cup of coffee and refilled your cup. “I’ll make more noise next time.”

“Did you sleep ok?”

“Very well. Thank you.” Neither of you mentioned that you wound up tangled around each other.

You got out your laptop and set yourself up on the dining table. You tapped away while Andy read the paper. He eyed you suspiciously over a folded corner. “What are you doing over there?

“Working. Between you and Stan I have about 500 emails in my inbox.”

“It’s Saturday.” he said in disbelief. “Who works on a Saturday?”

“A single girl who lives alone and doesn’t participate in home improvement couples projects. Be honest. How many Saturdays have you and Lori spent in Home Depot?”

He really though about it and laughed to himself, “Too many.”

“Fucking suburban breeders.”

“Suburban breeders. Wow.” He continued to read the paper feigning outrage. “We don’t have to go to Home Depot but I would like to do something nice with you today. Although, I did see a few lightbulbs that needed to be changed.”

“That’s what the super is for. I don’t even own a ladder and I’m not about to buy one. Why don’t you find us a movie? It’ll be like a date.”

Andy’s heart fluttered. He hadn’t been on a date in sixteen years. He wanted to get it just right. While you toiled away he planned your evening.

First, he would make you dinner. Keep it simple and light to make way for popcorn and candy. An art house cinema was playing “Anatomy of a Murder” on actual film. It’s arguably one of the best written courtroom dramas ever. After the movie there was a little coffee shop within walking distance. Then, he hoped, it would be back to his new place. He thought if you were at his place and not in your building that it would take your mind off of Lori and Jacob.

It actually warmed his heart that you cared so much for their feelings. He couldn’t help but think you would make a great stepmom for Jacob. He was getting ahead of himself. But it didn’t hurt to daydream.

Andy tried his hardest to be lazy for the day but he was crap at it. He had to occupy himself. He offered you a hand which you readily accepted. It was such a shame you were leaving the firm. The two of you worked so well together. Given your circumstances he would have encouraged you to tender your resignation immediately after being passed over.

While Andy was getting dinner together you popped off to get changed. So far he had only seen you in workout gear and work attire. It would be nice to be a little bit more casual.

When you appeared in the kitchen he let out a sharp whistle in appreciation. “You look beautiful. Since we are on a date is the touching ban still in effect?”

You kissed him tenderly on the lips, “I think we can make an exception.”

“Well in that case…” He placed his hands on either side of your face and gave you a deep panty ruining kiss. “I’ve been wanting to do that for days now.”

You gripped the edge of the counter to catch your breath. “Something smells good.”

His whole face lit up when he told you about the salmon he made. He dipped the tip of his finger in the glaze and held it to your lips. You slowly sucked at the very tip of his finger. “Yum” you said looking up at him through your lashes.

“If you keep that up, baby, we won’t leave this apartment.”

You gave him your most innocent smile, “Sorry, boss. I’ll be a good girl.”

“Fuck. Save that for later. Speaking of later, I thought we could go to my condo tonight. It’s closer to the theater and I’d like to show it to you.”

“Big ol’ thumbs up for me. I’m famished.”

Your date went incredibly well. How could it not? You two were already idiots for each other. You talked for hours and about everything that night. No topic was off limits. You really had a lot in common. You both got into law for similar reasons. Though, you had more altruistic intentions like joining the ACLU as part of their legal team. Now you work for a firm who represents massive corporations. You weren’t proud of the turn you took. That was another reason the Chicago firm was such a great fit for you. They did a little bit of everything but, you would be going after these big corporations instead. He loved your unbridled enthusiasm for your work.

After all the wine was gone and the conversation died the two of you were cuddled on the couch. He rubbed his hands up your arms and massaged your shoulders, “Are you falling asleep on me?” he asked against your ear.

“No. Just relaxed.” He deepened his touch bringing his hands to your décolleté skimming the top swell of your breasts. His hand dipped into the v of your tshirt to make contact with your skin.

“Is this ok?” Lord he’s perfect.

“I declare the no touching ban officially lifted.”

He waisted no time taking full advantage. He massaged your breast under your shirt teasing you over your bra. His other hand held your face to his while he kissed you. You let out a soft moan to which he responded in kind. You turned around to straddle him. He ground his cock into your denim covered cunt to relieve the ache. You went slow savoring the weight of his body. The scruff of his beard. The rough callused fingers that seemed to be everywhere. With Andy, kissing was your favorite thing. The act made your insides liquid and warm.

He broke away to lift your shirt over your head. He sucked your nipple through the thin material of your bra. Your breath hitched in your throat. You ran your fingers through his hair grasping it hard. He undid the fly of your jeans and slipped his hand in. Your juices ran over his fingers while he fucked into you. You met your peak and cried out when you tumbled over the edge.

When he released you, you stood up and undressed. You pulled his shirt over his head. He kissed your belly while you shimmied out of your panties. He kicked off his pants and lowered you onto his dick. The stretch nearly toppled you over but you held on. You pressed your clit into his pelvic bone and he fucked into you hard. He could feel you were close. Your pussy fluttered around him bringing him close to his end. “You ready, baby?” You answered with a whimper. “Cum with me.” With a few final thrusts you both exploded.

There was an imperceptible shift in you that night. You were ready to meet Andy where he was. For the next few weeks, you were going to be his. Entirely and completely his in every conceivable way.

——————————————————————

You didn’t say no when he asked you to spend the night. You spent a lot of nights there. So many that he gently suggested moving in with him until it was time to ship out. His reasons were entirely practical. You were over staying your lease which meant you were paying more a month in rent. Your big stuff and winter clothes were packed and in storage. You were basically down to your bed and a few other essentials. At least you could put everything in storage to make it easier for the moving company. So you guessed now you were living together.

You wished it bothered you more but honestly he was a delightful roommate. He was clean. He cooked. You both had an annoying habit of bringing work home with you. At least you were doing it together. And, it goes without saying, you fucked like horny teenagers. You were adventurous and that thrilled him to his very core.

He had a large terrace looking over the city. That was officially your favorite spot. You were sure your neighbors heard you.

——————————————————————

You only had a week left. You successfully handed off your entire case load. Andy took a few days off to help you get settled in Chicago. You tendered your resignation the week prior.

Stan tried and failed to hold onto you. You let him know your mind was set. The only thing left on your work calendar was the charity event the firm held annually. You were on the board this year. Problem was, no one could know about you and Andy. You had to go alone. Andy was bringing Lori.

Your heart gave up her post as she was no longer emotionally equipped to handle decision making. Your brain was petty as fuck. You gave Andy the silent treatment for a whole day. He had no idea you weren’t speaking until he asked you a third time what you wanted for dinner.

“Y/n, I’m speaking to you. Do you want Thai tonight?” Nothing. You sulked around the kitchen never making eye contact. “I’m sorry are you mad at me?” He grabbed your wrist and forced you to face him. “Being a brat isn’t going to fix this. Look at me and use your words like a big girl.”

“Don’t treat me like a child.” Your voice was low and emotionless. You planted your feet and stared him down.

“Then don’t act like a child. Talk to me.” He smoothed the hair out of your face and rested his hands on your shoulders. “Please. We only have a few more days together. I don’t want to spend them fighting.”

You took a deep breath and blew it out. You didn’t trust yourself not to cry so you just let loose. “If I quit already, why can’t we go together? Further more, if you filed for divorce, why are you taking Lori? Also, you didn’t talk to me. You told me. End of story.”

“I still work there. I don’t want anyone to think you quit because of me. I didn’t tell anyone that Lori and I have split. She agreed to go while you were still in Chicago. I apologize for not talking to you about all of this. I honestly didn’t know how you would react. I wanted our last week together to be happy. I won’t see you for a while. It’s just one night. You can have me forever if you want.”

You softened a little, “But we’ll be all dressed up and dancing and stuff. I know this seems ridiculous but I don’t want to watch you dance with someone else even if, technically, she is your wife.” You pouted a little. He kissed your bottom lip and pulled you into his arms.

“You wanna dance with me, baby? Let’s dance. Alexa…play my Y/N playlist.” The speaker sprang to life filling the air with a sweeping piano and Nina Simone’s velvety voice. You swayed to the music while Andy sang softly in your ear “…..So baby love me, love me tonight……”

You stared up at him, tears shimmering in your eyes, “I’m sorry I was a bitch. I guess I’m a little on edge.”

“Don’t apologize. I’d be offended if you weren’t a little jealous. I’m on edge too. Every time I think about being here alone I can’t breathe.”

“So come with me.” It’s not that the thought hasn’t crossed his mind. He didn’t want to be that far away from Jacob. He just started this job. You both knew it was a ridiculous request.

“Give me some time.” You spent the rest of the night swaying in each other’s arms. Fucking hell. You fell in love.

[petri808]

@inukag-week Marriage prompt this idea ended up longer then intended so I’m breaking it up into chapters 😅

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

As Kagome rounded a corner of the castle hallway near her parent’s bedroom, she overheard something that sent a chill right down her spine. Knowing this could be her fate and accepting it were two different things, and maybe… just maybe she’d hoped they wouldn’t have subjected their precious daughter to such a medieval concept. Her back fell against the wall as her hands covered up the scream bubbling up in her throat. This wasn’t fair! It wasn’t right! How could they do this to her? All her life she’d played the dutiful role of Princess, never once giving into her whims, but oh how she longed for something more than these walls— And now it appeared she may never experience anything more than a royal obligation.

Unless she did something about it.

“Marriage in one year’s time as part of the alliance…” Kagome heard her father say.

“He is a good man and fine suitor. I pray Kagome will take to him well…” added her mother.

That was all Kagome could bear to hear.

She slipped away back to her room and gathered up only what would fit in a carry sack. The plainest attire she had, toiletries, precious personal items, and some money she had tucked away. It was a dangerous gamble Kagome was about to take and one she couldn’t even fathom the consequences for her parents. But in that moment, the thought of being sent away to some random Prince was akin to being sold like a slave and that was something she just couldn’t bear. They didn’t even confer with her on this! If they loved her, wouldn’t they have talked to her about this?! And yet at dinner they were still silent, never bringing up their plans for their daughter. Any doubts of running died away by the end of the meal and her mind was set.

Under the cover of darkness, Kagome donned her riding outfit cloaked by a hooded cape and stole away to the stables. She knew the stable boy would be away for his meal in the servants quarters, so as quietly as possible, she packed her horse for the journey. Buyo was a fine stead and waited patiently as Kagome loaded him up with a bed roll and her bag, making sure to use a worn harness rather than any of the royal gear. The last thing a lone woman traveler needed to do was bring attention to themselves. Finally with a bow and arrow strapped to her back, she lead the horse out of the castle walls to the world that awaited her.

It was imperative that Kagome got as far away as quickly as she could to avoid being tracked. Her parents would no doubt send out search parties once they found her letter in the morning. So, where should she go? For starters, she stayed away from the well-traveled roads within the cover of the forest. Using a map she’d stolen from her father’s war room, she surmised it would take about three days to reach the border between her country and the next one over. It was a start. Maybe get to their capital city where it would be easier to blend into a larger population.

Princess or not, Kagome was no shrinking violet when it came to getting her hands dirty. Most of the castle staff treated Kagome like a delicate flower— but not Sango. Her attendant had come from a well-respected noble house of warriors, and she was the one who taught Kagome to use a weapon, ride a horse, and other things not associated with a ‘proper’ princess. Oh, those were some of her fondest memories! And if there was one thing, she’ll miss is having Sango around to talk to. She’d thought about telling the woman but realized it would only put her in jeopardy to have such information. Maybe once she’d settled down somewhere she’ll send an unsigned letter so the woman would know she was okay.

Kagome stopped in small villages along the way only long enough to purchase food. She could have paid for lodging too, but that may have roused suspicions for a lone traveling woman. During the day she rode through worn earthen roads and at night searched out hidden caves or groves for shelter off the beaten path. Bandits were still a problem so she needed to be cautious since a pretty young girl could fetch a decent price in the slave markets. It was a lonely journey, her only solace the one book she brought to read by firelight in her makeshift camps. A favorite of hers. An ancient fable of a warrior priestess who fell in love with the very creature she was tasked to destroy. It was a sad tale, but Kagome fell in love with the idea of finding love in the most unexpected way.

“Not like being given away as property,” Kagome mumbled to herself. “I wanna love and be loved, is that too much to ask for?” Not because she was a Princess, and it certainly didn’t need to be a real Prince as long as they wanted her for her. She could be happy just living in a small cottage where she’d tend to a farm and raise their children. A simple lifestyle not full of obligations and surrounded by fake personalities just trying to gain a royals favor.

It took four days to reach the Inu kingdom and another two to the capital city. Kagome had only heard stories of it, so to see it with her own eyes it was quite a surprise. Not only was it bigger, but there was a larger mix of human and demons living amongst each other. Perhaps because it was ruled by a demon? Sango had told her the Inutaisho lord was a very powerful one but had an affinity for humans not always shared in their world. So much so in fact that he took a human Princess as one of his queens. That was certainly different to Kagome, because while concubines were still a thing in royal houses, having two Queens was not. Such a situation could cause territorial in-fighting and has brought down Houses before. It was a fascinating idea, and she had to admit there was a bit of curiosity as to what they looked like.

She boarded Buyo at a stable, then decided to wander around the marketplace to find something to eat, maybe clothing more suited to the commoner look she needed to portray. So, she wove her long hair up into a braided halo wrap style, strapped a small dagger to her waist, and set off into the crowded streets. This must be a major trading station, Kagome realized, because the market had a large variety of goods, some very exotic looking indeed. So much food, clothing, beautiful fabrics and accessories, weapons, really anything you could think of. The Princess in her ogled a few of the gorgeous dresses, but alas, that wasn’t her anymore.

‘Oh, what’s that…’ Her nose turned up to a sweet scent wafting over from a few stalls away. Something smelled decadently delicious.

She walked over to take a peak and found an array of different dessert type confections being sold. “So pretty,” Kagome mumbled as her mouth watered.

“Very and delicious too.” A voice spoke back.

Kagome turned to the female voice. “Oh, hello,” she smiled. “Have you tried these before?” She asked the young girl.

“Mmhmm,” the girl nodded.

The child looked about the age of 7 or 8, wearing an orange and pink colored fine silk dress. Her hair was styled, though was a bit of a mess as if she’d been running around. Certainly, this girl must be from a noble family, but as Kagome looked around and saw no one paying any attention to her, she wondered. “May I ask. Where are your attendants? A young one like you shouldn’t be walking around alone here.”

In an instant, the child’s small smile flipped into a quivering frown and moisture pooled in her eyes. “I-I got lost.”

“Oh dear.” Seeing the verge of tears ready to spill, Kagome kneeled down and hugged the girl. “It’s okay. I’ll help you find your servant.”

“I’m sorry!” The child whined and sobbed quietly. “I was bad and ran away because I just wanted a treat, but she told me no.”

“Shhh,” Kagome’s voice softened. “You’re gonna be okay. What’s your name?”

“Rin.”

“Rin, my name is Kagome.” She pulled back and wiped the child’s tears stained cheeks. “How about I get you a treat to cheer you up, hmm, would you like that?”

“Mmhmm,” the child sniffled and smile returning.

Kagome purchased a couple of the sweet cakes and handed one to the girl. “Now, do you know where your home is?”

Rin pointed towards the castle causing Kagome to flinch a bit. “You live in the castle?”

“Uh-huh.” The girl mumbled now happy with her treat.

Maybe Rin’s parents are nobles working for the King, Kagome surmised. It wasn’t uncommon for advisors or other higher ranking statesman to live in parts of the castle so they could be called upon at any time. And though she dreaded the chance of being caught so soon, this child couldn’t be left alone. “How about we wait a few more minutes just in case your attendant finds you? I’ll stay right here until then, okay?”

“Okay— Lady Kagome?”

“Yes?”

“Where are you from? How come you’re by yourself?”

Wow, this child was blunt, Kagome mused at her bright, inquisitive eyes. “Well, you see my parents are gone now, so it’s just me.”

“Awww! Me too, but I was adopted, and I love my new daddy! He’s mean to everyone else but spoils me,” she giggled. “What do you do? Are you married?”

Kagome was again taken aback at Rin’s questions, but she reminded herself that children are curious creatures and held no ill will towards it. She chuckled. “I’m not married and I um…” Crap! She forgot to come up with a cover story! “I’m a teacher, but since I left home, I guess it means I’m looking for a job. That’s why I came to the city.”

“Really?!” The child excitedly grabbed Kagome’s hands and started pulling. “We’ve waited long enough. Let’s go!”

“Wait! But your attendant?”

“She’s mean and I like you better.” Rin tugged harder. “Come on Kagome, take me home please! I wanna show you where I live.”

“O-Okay. Okay.” She wasn’t sure what got Rin excited all of a sudden, but she allowed the girl to pull her along.

While they made their way towards the castle, Kagome held onto the child’s hand. Rin appeared content now, happily pointing out different things as they passed by stalls or people and just behaving like a normal young kid on a stroll. Most of the noble children Kagome’s ever been around, were prim and proper whereas Rin had a feisty strength that reminded her of herself… when no one was around to see it. It must be nice to feel so free of restraint.

The entrance guards immediately waved them through once they saw Rin holding tightly to Kagome’s hand. The probably assumed she was just another one of the Princesses attendants or servants. It was a beautiful palace, sleeker than her own with gleaming white, alabaster walls, golden trimmed windowpane’s, surrounded by high-guarded walls. Once inside, Kagome was taken aback at the feudal decadence, but she couldn’t stop to really look closely because Rin was a girl on a mission. The child took them past surprised servants who bowed to the Princess with wary looks at this strange woman accompanying the girl. Down hallways, never deviating from her path into the heart of the palace.

Finally, Rin pulled Kagome into a room once she’d found who she was looking for.

“Papa!” The child squealed and ran towards a stately male with long white hair pulled back and a crown topping his head. “Papa Toga! I brought someone to meet you!”

[haikyuuties-xo]

[Haikyuu Captains] A Story based off what I'm Currently Suffering through right here, right now, at 5am. sorry if there's typos oops // also underage drinking (in some countries)

it's a sleepover with the captains from kurasuno, nekoma, fukurodani, aoba johsai, and shiatorizawa!

and it's at oikawa's house :D

so let's relax~

so i made the awful decision that i wanted to get very drunk

even though we all have to get up at 6am for practice

everyone agrees with me that it is an excellent idea

oikawa is all like "i think we have taquilla i gotchu guys"

but oikawa's parents are also sleeping right next to the kitchen ◉‿◉

would they give a fuck ?? prolly not but for the sake of the hc we gon say yes

so you all take turns sneaking out to grab a huge bottle of alcohol

"never open something, never use something completely" - oikawa's motto for keeping out of trouble

there was no taquilla tho :(

but there was various kinds of vodka and bourbon!

n bokuto brought juice :) he is very proud of his famous fruit punch

perfect for daiquiris

so we manage somehow to not be completely fucking loud

together, we clink glasses and down some fireball, vodka shots and coffee bourbon (some of which tasted like actual asshole)

"you would know what that tastes like, oikawa"

"shut the fuck up kuroo"

daichi takes it like a champ but acts all like "i can't believe I'm doing this,,, breaking the rules" as if he isn't an actual fucking alcoholic dad

kuroo downs it with no hands, smirking as he set the shot glass down on the carpet below them to appear cool but as he's actually trying to down the drink he starts choking and sputtering

bokuto pours a shit ton of his juice in w the vodka and downs it fine but can't help screaming "HEY HEY HEY" as red immediately spreads across his cheeks

oikawa drinks that shit in .2 seconds and looks at everyone like "what"

ushijima takes his in little sips after smelling the acetone-like aroma of Smirnoff. it doesn't take like the aged wine of his cow farm (oikawa routinely reminds him he couldn't give a smaller amount of fucks if he tried)

i down it in a gulp like daichi and kuroo

and i feel so incredibly light

i feel very warm and my cheeks are so flushed

but i watch as oikawa begins spouting off nonsense

"thiS cRaYoN iS giRAfFe fLaVOreD!"

he calls Iwaizumi multiple times, declaring his love for him and apologizing to him when he'd accidentally compliment how beautiful one of the other captains was

"it's okay, shittykawa, stop crying."

so i had to take his phone away

i also had to take away daichi's phone bc he kept talking about his "soon to be" ex girlfriend and brought it up in every conversation

daichi would drunkenly beg me through out the night to "pretty please" let him text his girlfriend goodnight even tho she's pissed at him for getting drunk

bokuto soon followed as he kept drunk texting akashi saying he feels like he's being used for sex (when akashi is literally downstairs because he got worried when i texted an sos)

n bokuto's dramatic af

kuroo began to relentlessly flirt with anyone else in sight

unfortunately I'm still only a little tipsy despite pouring more vodka into my cup and sipping it gingerly

and I've apparently established I'm now the sober mom friend.

because 7 shots in and I'm unaffected (?)

but i am video taping all this

ushijima began to ramble on about volleyball, not making any real sense

"oik'kwa....... youuu should've come to shi'tor'zawa."

i said, "oikawa, stop, you can't do that"

he began to cry, "I'm sorry......are you mad at me?"

"I'm not mad, oikawa"

"i think you are"

"I'm not."

i quickly removed all the glasses from our spot on the ground and returned with a glass of water

"oikawa, taste this, it's really good vodka"

he looked up at me with a dopey grin and sipped it, "wow that's good vodka haha"

(it was water)

"'s not vodka, 's waterrr" slurred kuroo

"taste it if you don't believe me"

they were all falling into my trap :∆

meanwhile bokuto and daichi are still rambling on about relationship problems

finally, i was able to encourage them that I'd be fun if they all had a sleepover and laid down

they all drunkenly obliged

i began removing more obvious signs of alcohol (despite kuroo, daichi and oikawa attempting to conceal more behind them) and held hands with bokuto, oikawa and kuroo to take them to go to the bathroom or get water

then up comes akashi

and bokuto is a mess

"aaaaaagaaaashhhhiiiiiiii"

"bokuto-san..."

i looked at him with sympathy, "he's... a little... drunk."

not as shit-faced as oikawa tho js

akashi looked surprised before quickly walking over to bokuto, who desparately wanted a hug.

i escorted them out of the room, moving to focus on getting oikawa, kuroo, ushijima, and daichi into bed with some water

when i heard a retching sound at the top of the stairs

and sure enough, bokuto threw up all down the stairs

akashi lovingly grabbed paper towels and began cleaning it up, wiping a stray puke mark off of bokuto's face (sorry, gross, ik)

"how much did he drink?"

"uhm.. fireball, vodka?"

"but how much!"

"dunno, 3 shots?"

"...3?!"

akashi was greatly relieved

"akashi, take bokuto and wash him up. make sure he lays on his side and drinks lots of water. I'll clean up the rest of this mess and bring you a cold compress in a bit"

akashi nodded and thanked me

i made quick work of trying to get the puke stains out of the carpet while also checking up on the 4 stooges left in the room

when i finally returned, daichi was passed out

kuroo was scrolling through his phone, sending videos to kenma

oikawa and ushijima, however, were whispering

i ignored them and kept collecting trash to subtly remove from the room

all of a sudden, ushijima says he has to go to the bathroom

oikawa says he does too

"I'll go with you, you guys need some water"

"you don't have to come with us"

"okay, just for water"

as they headed to the bathroom i made quick work of pouring some water into the cup for them.

but they were taking a longer time than normal

as i made my way to the bathroom, the door was locked, but i could hear loud smacking noises and heavy breathing

holy shit

oikawa and ushijima were totally making out.

at last i heard them at last say "we should probably go out now"

i made quick work of quietly speed walking to the faucet

they of course complete forgot about me getting them water in their drunk state

as i reminded them, they drank. i pulled oikawa aside as ushijima made his way up the stairs

"ya know, oikawa, you could've just told me if you were gonna make out with him"

oikawa's face got beet read as we walked over to ushijima "fuck, she knows"

"how!?"

"i don't know... i thought we were being discreet"

(yeah, so descrete that i totally didn't hear you slamming each other against the bathroom door. jesus.)

finally back in the solace of Oikawa's room

i felt kinda uncomfortable sleeping next to oikawa and ushijima

so i slept on the floor

my life sucks

being the mom friend

and having high alcohol tolerance

fml <3

based on true, traumatic events 💗 pls hmu if u have recommendations of alcohol that always gets u drunk :(