#‘and friendship is the most important thing you could have’
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julietsf1 · 2 days ago
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The Idiot I Call Mine - Lando Norris x BestFriend! Reader
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summary: best friends are supposed to share laughs, inside jokes, fries and the occasional late-night drive. what they’re not supposed to do is flirt like it’s a competitive sport or make you question every unspoken rule of friendship. at least, unless your name is Lando Norris apparently. (7.1k words)
content: fluff! friends to lovers; flirty dynamic; mutual pining
an: whaaat? a fic about another driver? yes loves. this is me coming forward as a secret Lando fan. I hope you'll enjoy as much as I did writing this :)
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Lando Norris has this annoying habit of always being right. It’s not even about anything important—it’s just little things. Like the time he guessed exactly how long it would take before I caved and ordered dessert, or when he said I’d end up watching a rom-com tonight even though I claimed I wanted “something deep and meaningful.”
“See?” he said smugly, leaning back on the couch as the opening credits of The Holiday  played. “I know you better than you know yourself.”
“Hardly,” I shot back, tossing a piece of popcorn at him. “You just know I have a weak spot for Jude Law. That doesn’t make you psychic.”
“No, but it does make me an excellent best friend.” He winked, plucking the popcorn off his lap and popping it into his mouth like the show-off he was.
I rolled my eyes, pretending I wasn’t fighting a grin. Lando and I had been inseparable for years, the kind of best friends who finished each other’s sentences and shared a borderline unhealthy obsession with late-night McDonald’s runs. But lately, something had been… different.
Not bad, exactly. Just different. Maybe? I wasn’t even sure to be honest. 
“You’re staring again,” Lando said, breaking into my thoughts. He was sprawled out on the couch, one arm draped over the backrest in a way that felt entirely too casual and yet completely deliberate. His green eyes sparkled with mischief, and his smirk was the kind that could make even the most confident person question their sanity.
“I wasn’t staring,” I lied, grabbing a handful of popcorn and shoving it in my mouth for good measure.
“You were absolutely staring,” he teased, leaning closer. “What’s on your mind, hmm? Thinking about how devastatingly handsome I am? It’s okay—you can admit it.”
“You’re such a joke,” I said, trying to sound unimpressed but failing miserably. “Devastatingly handsome? Please. You look like you just rolled out of bed.”
“Exactly,” he said, flashing a grin. “And yet, here you are, spending your Friday night with me. Interesting choice.”
“I’m here for the popcorn,” I deadpanned, though even I didn’t believe myself. “And because you begged me.”
“I didn’t beg,” he protested. “I suggested strongly. There’s a difference.”
This was us—lighthearted insults, jokes at each other’s expense, and an ease in our conversations that felt like home. If there was something different lately, I told myself it was just my imagination running wild. 
“Speaking of choices,” I said, leaning back against the couch. “What’s the deal with you and your phone wallpaper?”
“What about it?” he asked, feigning innocence.
“Oh, come on, Lando,” I said, narrowing my eyes. “You really expect me to believe you just happened to pick a picture of me for your wallpaper?”
“It’s a great photo,” he said with a shrug. “You look happy. And let’s not pretend your wallpaper isn’t me.”
I froze, caught. He was right—my wallpaper was him, but that wasn’t the point.
“That’s different,” I said quickly. “You look stupid in yours. It’s funny.”
“Ah, so I’m your personal clown now?” he asked, his voice dripping with mock offense. “Good to know my humiliation brings you joy.”
“Always,” I said sweetly, tossing another piece of popcorn his way.
The movie played on in the background, but neither of us was really paying attention. We were too busy pushing each other’s buttons, like always.
“Hey,” Lando said after a while, his tone a little softer. “You’re coming to dinner at Mum’s next weekend, right?”
“Do I have a choice?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Not really,” he said with a grin. “She’s already planning the menu. Something with pasta, probably. You know how she gets when you’re coming over.”
I smiled despite myself. His family had always treated me like one of their own, and his mum had a knack for making me feel special in ways that were both comforting and overwhelming.
“Well, in that case,” I said, pretending to think it over. “I guess I can clear my schedule.”
“Good,” he said, nudging me with his elbow. “I’d be bored without you there.”
It was moments like this—simple and familiar—that stuck with me longer than they should. The way he said things so casually, as if they didn’t carry any weight, even when they somehow did. 
“You’ve got something on your face,” I said suddenly, trying to distract myself.
“Where?” he asked, leaning closer.
“Right there,” I said, tapping the corner of my mouth.
He smirked, deliberately licking the spot where I’d pointed. “Better?”
“Ugh, you’re insufferable,” I said, shoving him away. But I was laughing, and so was he.
“You love it,” he said, and for once, I didn’t argue. Because maybe I did.
As the night went on, the teasing continued, each remark more loaded than the last. By the time the credits rolled, I wasn’t sure if it was the movie or Lando’s lingering glances that had me feeling so off-kilter.
“You’re awfully quiet tonight,” he said, breaking the silence as he stood to clean up the popcorn bowl. “Something on your mind?”
“Just thinking,” I said vaguely, not meeting his gaze.
“About?” he pressed, leaning against the counter with a smirk that said he already knew the answer.
“Nothing important,” I said, grabbing my phone and pretending to scroll.
“Liar,” he said, his voice playful but probing. “You’re terrible at hiding things, you know that?”
I glanced up at him, my heart doing that annoying fluttery thing it had been doing lately. He was standing there like he had all the time in the world, his green eyes locked on mine, and for a moment, I forgot how to breathe.
“Goodnight, Lando,” I said finally, brushing past him on my way to the couch.
“Goodnight, Y/N,” he called after me, his voice laced with amusement.
“You know, for someone who claims to be an athlete, you spend an alarming amount of time eating,” I said, glancing at Lando over the top of my menu.
“Carbs are fuel,” he replied, flashing me a grin. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“I understand that we could’ve gone somewhere normal instead of whatever this place is,” I said, gesturing to the overly fancy restaurant. The kind of place where the wine glasses sparkled brighter than the chandeliers, and the menu was full of words I couldn’t pronounce.
“You’re so ungrateful,” he teased, leaning back in his chair. “Do you know how hard it was to get a table here? I had to name-drop myself.”
“Wow,” I said dryly. “The struggle.”
“Exactly. And now you’re here, about to enjoy the finest pasta in town, thanks to me. A little gratitude wouldn’t kill you.”
“Gratitude? You dragged me here under false pretenses. You said this was a ‘low-key spot.’”
“It is low-key,” he argued, gesturing around. “For Monte Carlo standards.”
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t stop the smile creeping onto my face. This was just how things were with Lando—effortless, easy, and borderline ridiculous.
“Alright, what are you getting?” Lando asked, lowering his menu.
“Fettuccine Alfredo,” I said without hesitation.
“Of course you are,” he said, smirking. “Predictable.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I shot back. “What are you getting, then? Something groundbreaking? Life-changing? Revolutionary?”
“Tagliatelle al tartufo,” he said with a mockingly posh accent.
“Wow,” I said, feigning awe. “Truffle pasta. You’re really pushing the boundaries, Norris.”
“Don’t be jealous just because I have sophisticated taste,” he replied, the smirk never leaving his face.
“‘Sophisticated’ is one way to put it,” I muttered, pretending to study the menu again. “Another is ‘pretentious.’”
“You’ll be begging for a bite,” he said confidently, setting the menu down.
“Please,” I said, scoffing. “You’ll be stealing mine before the plates even hit the table.”
He leaned forward, his grin widening. “You know me so well.”
The food arrived soon after, and, as predicted, we switched plates halfway through without even discussing it. It was second nature by now, like so many other things about us.
“You know,” Lando said, twirling a forkful of fettuccine, “if this whole racing thing doesn’t work out, I could be a food critic.”
“Sure,” I said, deadpan. “Because people are dying to know what Lando Norris thinks about pasta.”
“They would be,” he said, undeterred. “My palate is unparalleled.”
“Your palate consists of pizza, chicken nuggets, and whatever I’m eating,” I shot back.
“And yet, here we are,” he said, gesturing to the table. “Me, enjoying this culinary masterpiece, and you, enjoying my company. Life is good.”
It was shaping up to be another night of easy conversation and mindless teasing until a voice interrupted us.
“Lando?”
I looked up to see two women standing at the edge of our table. They were both tall, blonde, and effortlessly elegant, the kind of women who looked like they belonged in a magazine spread rather than real life.
“Oh, hey!” Lando said, his face lighting up in recognition.
I glanced at him, watching as his entire demeanor shifted ever so slightly. He straightened up, his grin widening just enough to make my stomach twist.
“We haven’t seen you in forever,” one of the women said, her smile bright and practiced.
“I know,” Lando said, leaning back in his chair like he had all the time in the world. “It’s been a while.”
“You look great,” one of them said, her smile bright as she leaned in a little too close.
“So do you,” Lando replied, his tone polite but just warm enough to make me suddenly very interested in my water glass. The conversation floated around me, full of laughter and inside jokes I didn’t understand.
“And who’s this?” one of them finally asked, her gaze flicking to me with polite curiosity.
“This is Y/N,” Lando said, gesturing toward me with a casualness that felt too deliberate. “My best friend.”
Best friend. There it was again.
“Nice to meet you,” I said, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach my eyes.
“Likewise,” she replied, her tone perfectly pleasant.
They didn’t linger much longer—just enough to leave their mark before excusing themselves with a wave and a promise to “catch up soon.”
“Old friends of yours?” I asked once they were gone, my voice light but with a slight edge.
“Something like that,” Lando said, taking a sip of his water.
“Something like that?” I repeated, raising an eyebrow.
He shrugged, his smirk returning. “They’re sisters. I, uh… may have had a thing with both of them. At different times, obviously.”
My fork froze midair. “Both of them?”
“Don’t look at me like that,” he said, laughing. “It’s not that weird.”
“It’s incredibly weird,” I said, shaking my head.
“I mean, it didn’t overlap or anything,” he added, as if that somehow made it better. “But yeah… sisters.”
I stared at him, equal parts amused and horrified. “That’s… impressive? I guess?”
“Thank you,” he said, grinning like he’d just been handed an award. “Think I should call them again?”
“Sure,” I forced a laugh, stabbing at my pasta. “And then ask if they have any other sisters you might’ve missed.”
He chuckled, clearly oblivious to the sarcasm in my tone. “Good idea. Always room for a hat trick.”
My stomach churned uncomfortably, but I didn’t say anything. Instead, I focused on my plate, hoping he wouldn’t notice the way my mood had shifted.
The paddock was its usual chaotic self—teams rushing to prepare for practice sessions, fans peering over barriers for a glimpse of their favorite drivers, and media personnel darting between interviews. I decided to escape the madness for a bit, heading toward the staff catering building for a much-needed coffee.
The line was mercifully short, but as I joined it, I noticed someone already waiting near the front. Tall, dark-haired, and wearing a Ferrari polo with his name—Marco—stitched neatly on the chest. He turned slightly, catching my eye and offering a polite smile.
“Busy morning?” he asked, his tone warm and conversational.
“Something like that,” I replied with a small smile. “You?”
“Always,” he said with a soft chuckle. “But coffee makes it manageable, no?”
I nodded. “A universal truth.”
Marco stepped aside to let me order, a gesture so casual it almost went unnoticed. As I gave my order to the barista, I felt him glance at me again—not invasive, just curious.
“So, not Ferrari,” he said after I stepped back to wait for my coffee.
“Is it that obvious?” I joked.
“A little,” he admitted, his grin widening. “You’re far too relaxed to be one of us.”
“Should I be offended or flattered?” I asked, tilting my head playfully.
“Flattered,” he said easily. “Relaxed is a good thing.”
We fell into an easy rhythm as we waited. Marco was effortlessly charming, asking questions without prying and tossing in a few self-deprecating remarks about Ferrari’s chaos.
“You’re here with a team?” he asked eventually.
“A friend,” I said vaguely.
“Lucky friend,” he said, his tone light but genuine.
I laughed softly. “That’s what everyone keeps telling me.”
Marco opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, a familiar voice cut through the hum of conversation.
“There you are.”
I turned to see Lando approaching, his expression relaxed but his eyes sharper than usual.
“Hey,” I said, surprised. “I thought you were doing media.”
“Finished early,” he said, stepping closer. His gaze flicked briefly to Marco, who stood quietly by my side. “And I figured I’d find you here.”
“Good instincts,” I said lightly, though something about his sudden appearance felt… deliberate.
Marco offered his hand to Lando, ever polite. “Marco. Ferrari engineering.”
“Lando,” he replied, shaking his hand. “McLaren driving.”
Marco chuckled. “I know who you are. Good to meet you.”
“You too,” Lando said, his tone friendly but with an edge I couldn’t quite place.
The barista called my name, and I turned to grab my coffee, giving them a moment to exchange polite words. By the time I returned, Marco was stepping away with his own drink.
“Enjoy the rest of your day,” he said, offering me a small wave before disappearing into the crowd.
Lando watched him go before turning back to me. “Who was that?”
“Marco,” I said simply.
“And what was Marco talking to you about?” he asked, his tone too casual to be entirely innocent.
I raised an eyebrow. “Coffee, mostly. Why?”
“No reason,” he said quickly, taking a sip of my drink.
I studied him for a moment, noting the way his shoulders tensed ever so slightly. “You’re acting weird.”
“I’m not acting weird,” he said defensively.
“You’re definitely acting weird.”
Lando sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Alright, fine. I didn’t like the way he was looking at you.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, genuinely baffled.
“He was flirting,” Lando said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
I blinked. “He was being nice.”
“Nice,” Lando repeated, his voice laced with skepticism. “Sure. That’s one way to put it.”
“Lando, he’s just a guy who works for Ferrari,” I said, shaking my head.
“Exactly,” he said, as if that proved his point.
There was a beat of silence as I processed his words.
“You sound jealous,” I said finally, testing the waters.
“Jealous?” he scoffed, though the flicker of something in his eyes gave him away. “Hardly. I just think you can do way better than some guy who chats you up in the coffee line.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re being ridiculous.”
“Am I?” he asked, smirking now.
“Yes,” I said firmly, though the warmth in my chest betrayed me.
We walked back toward the McLaren garage, his mood lightening with every step. By the time we arrived, he was back to his usual self—chatting with the mechanics and laughing at some joke I’d already missed.
But his words stayed with me, replaying in my mind as I sat down with my coffee. My coffee which Lando had somehow already drank half of. 
The McLaren lounge was a rare oasis of calm in the chaos of a race weekend. Engineers hustled past the windows, radios crackled with updates, and somewhere in the distance, an engine roared to life. But in here, it was all plush couches, soft lighting, and a distinct lack of urgency.
I was curled up on one end of the couch, flipping through a magazine, while Oscar and Lando lounged on the other side. Lando, as usual, couldn’t sit still. He was draped sideways over the armrest, absently spinning a water bottle in his hands.
“Alright,” Lando announced, breaking the comfortable silence. “Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses?”
I looked up from my magazine, narrowing my eyes. “That’s the best you’ve got?”
“It’s an important question,” he insisted, his grin wide and mischievous.
I pretended to ponder for a moment. “One horse-sized duck. Definitely.”
Lando gaped at me like I’d just declared something outrageous. “Terrible answer. Absolutely terrible.”
“It’s the smart answer,” I shot back, sitting up straighter. “You outmaneuver one big target instead of exhausting yourself trying to wrangle a hundred tiny ones.”
“Do you even know how terrifying a horse-sized duck would be?” Lando asked, his voice rising in mock disbelief.
“And do you know how terrifying a hundred duck-sized horses would be?” I countered, raising an eyebrow.
Lando leaned forward, his grin widening. “Oh, come on. You’re telling me you’d rather face one giant, angry duck with a wingspan bigger than this couch?”
“Absolutely,” I said confidently. “Ducks aren’t that scary.”
“They can bite, you know,” he shot back, gesturing dramatically. “One snap, and you’re done for.”
I smirked, leaning closer. “I think I’d survive. Besides, I have a secret weapon.”
“What’s that?” he asked, his eyes narrowing playfully.
“You,” I said, deadpan. “I’ll just toss you in its path and run.”
Lando gasped, clutching his chest in mock betrayal. “Wow. That’s cold, Y/N. I thought we were a team.”
“We are,” I said, grinning. “But only if you pick the right answer next time.”
For a moment, he was quiet, his grin faltering just slightly as he met my gaze. It wasn’t much, just a flicker of something softer beneath the banter. But it was enough to make my stomach do that annoying little flip I’d been trying to ignore.
“Lando,” Oscar interjected, his tone casual but pointed. “You’re staring.”
“I am not,” Lando said quickly, his ears turning the faintest shade of pink as he looked away.
“You are,” Oscar said, leaning back with a smirk.
“You’re imagining things,” Lando muttered, crossing his arms.
Oscar snorted but didn’t press the issue, instead grabbing his phone and scrolling through it idly. But the look he shot Lando wasn’t lost on me—or Lando, for that matter.
As the banter settled into silence, I decided to grab a drink from the catering area, leaving the two of them alone.
The moment the door swung shut behind me, Oscar struck. “Mate, you’re not exactly subtle, you know.”
“About what?” Lando asked, feigning innocence as he fidgeted with the water bottle.
Oscar didn’t even look up from his phone. “About Y/N.”
“What about her?”
Oscar set his phone down, leveling Lando with a knowing look. “You’re acting like a lovesick puppy every time she’s around.”
Lando scoffed, though the tips of his ears betrayed him again. “That’s ridiculous. We’re just friends.”
“Sure,” Oscar said, dragging out the word like he was savoring it. “That’s why you light up like a Christmas tree whenever she walks in the room.”
“I do not,” Lando said defensively, but his voice lacked conviction.
“You do,” Oscar replied, leaning back with an exaggerated sigh. “Mate, you’re glaring holes into the back of her head every time she talks to someone else. And don’t even get me started on how you were watching her during the duck-and-horse debate like she’d just solved world peace.”
“That’s—” Lando started, then stopped, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s not like that.”
“Right,” Oscar said, his smirk firmly in place. “It’s exactly like that, but go off.”
Lando opened his mouth, then closed it again, clearly searching for the right words. “It’s… we’ve known each other forever. It’s Y/N.”
Oscar nodded, as if that made sense, but his smirk didn’t waver. “Don’t you think it would be time to change that soon? You two are exhausting.”
Lando shot him a look, but there was no real heat behind it.
“I’m just saying,” Oscar said, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “You’re completely gone for her. Admit it already.”
Lando groaned, leaning back against the couch and running a hand through his hair. “You’re the worst, you know that?”
“Yeah,” Oscar said, grinning now. “But I’m right.”
Lando didn’t respond, his gaze drifting to the door where I’d just left. And for the first time, he let himself wonder if maybe—just maybe—Oscar was onto something.
The moment we walked into George’s celebration, the energy hit like a wave. The room was packed with familiar faces—drivers, engineers, and friends—dressed to the nines in that effortless way people in motorsport always seemed to manage. String lights twinkled across the ceiling, soft jazz played over the speakers, and a steady hum of conversation filled the air.
“You’re going to owe me for this,” I teased, glancing at Lando. “Dragging me here after wasting twenty minutes deciding between two identical shirts.”
“They weren’t identical,” Lando replied with a roll of his eyes, his hand resting lightly on the small of my back as we weaved through the crowd. “One had a darker stitch.”
“Completely life-changing,” I said dryly, though I couldn’t help the small smile tugging at my lips.
“See? You get it,” he shot back with a grin, steering us toward a booth near the bar.
The way his hand lingered, warm and steady, was something I tried not to think too much about. It was just Lando being Lando—playful, touchy, and completely oblivious to the little flips my stomach insisted on doing whenever he leaned too close.
We found our way to a booth not far from the bar, where Alexandra and Charles were already seated. Charles was gesturing animatedly about something, while Alexandra sat with her usual poised grace, sipping champagne. When she saw us, her face lit up.
“Enfin, vous êtes là !” Alexandra exclaimed, waving us over. (Finally, you’re here!)
“Lando a changé de chemise trois fois,” I replied, throwing him a look. (Lando changed his shirt three times.)
Charles chuckled, leaning back with a smirk. “Toujours dramatique, hein ?” (Always dramatic, huh?)
“English,” Lando whined as we slid into the booth. “You’re ganging up on me in French. It’s not fair.”
“Pauvre bébé,” I teased, patting his arm lightly. (Poor baby.)
“Whatever that means,” he muttered, though the grin tugging at his lips made it clear he wasn’t upset.
The conversation flowed easily between the four of us. Lando, of course, dominated the chatter, weaving an elaborate story about George’s awkward rookie days. His expressions were so animated, his gestures so over-the-top, that even Charles—usually the calm and composed one—was cracking up by the end.
“That’s not true,” I said, nudging Lando with my elbow. “You’re exaggerating again.”
“I’m not!” he protested, his green eyes wide with mock innocence. “It’s all true. Every word.”
“Sure it is,” I replied, raising an eyebrow.
“Back me up here!” he said, turning to Charles.
Charles raised a brow, taking a deliberate sip of his drink. “I wasn’t there, but… I wouldn’t put it past him.”
Alexandra laughed softly, glancing at me. “Toujours l’acteur dramatique, ce Lando.” (Always the drama actor, that Lando.)
“Hey,” Lando said, pointing at her. “I know that wasn’t a compliment.”
I smirked, leaning closer. “It absolutely wasn’t.”
He gasped dramatically, his hand over his chest. “Betrayed by my own friends. I’ll never recover.”
“You’ll survive,” I said, brushing him off, though the warmth in his gaze lingered just a beat too long.
Lando eventually excused himself to grab drinks, leaving me to chat with Alexandra and Charles. As soon as he was out of earshot, Alexandra leaned in, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
“Il est tellement évident qu’il a un faible pour toi,” she said softly, her voice full of amusement. (It’s so obvious he has a thing for you.)
“Quoi?” I asked, my cheeks heating instantly. (What?)
“Ouvre les yeux,” she said, smirking. (Open your eyes.)
Charles chuckled, sipping his drink as he watched the exchange. “C’est écrit partout sur son visage.” (It’s written all over his face.)
“Stop,” I said, shaking my head. “You’re imagining things.”
Alexandra raised an eyebrow but didn’t argue, her expression saying everything her words didn’t.
At the bar, Lando was cornered by Carlos, who leaned casually against the counter, his expression smug. 
“You know,” Carlos said, his tone casual, “you’re not very subtle.”
“What are you talking about?” Lando asked, though his focus kept drifting toward the booth where I was sitting.
Carlos raised his drink, gesturing toward me. “You’ve been staring at her all night, hermano. Why don’t you just tell her how you feel?”
Lando stiffened, his grin faltering. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Just tell her,” Carlos said, swirling his drink lazily.
“It’s not that simple,” Lando replied, his voice quieter now.
Carlos raised an eyebrow. “Why not?”
“Because if I mess this up, I lose her,” Lando admitted, glancing toward our booth.
Carlos tilted his head, studying him. “You’re scared. That’s what this is.”
“Of course I’m scared,” Lando muttered, running a hand through his hair. “She’s my best friend. If it doesn’t work—”
“You’ll never know if you don’t try,” Carlos interrupted, his voice softer now. “But you’d better do something soon.”
Carlos’s smirk softened slightly, but before Lando could reply, Liam Lawson appeared at the bar.
“Who’s the girl with Charles and Alexandra?” Liam asked, nodding toward the booth. “She single?”
Carlos grinned mischievously. “Yeah, she is—go for it.”
Lando’s head snapped toward Carlos, his glare sharp enough to cut glass. “Carlos.”
“What?” Carlos said, feigning innocence. “Just giving the kid a shot.”
Liam approached with the kind of confidence that only a Red Bull driver could pull off.
“Hey,” he said, sliding into the seat across from me. “You’re Y/N, right?”
I blinked, momentarily surprised but recovering quickly. “That’s me. And you are?”
“Liam Lawson,” he said, extending a hand.
I shook it, his grip firm but not overbearing. “Nice to meet you.”
“How do you know George?” he asked, leaning forward slightly, his elbows resting on the table as if he had all the time in the world.
“Through Lando,” I replied, keeping my tone polite but measured. His easy demeanor was almost disarming, but there was something about the way he looked at me that made me hyper-aware of my surroundings.
“Ah, Lando,” he said with a soft chuckle. “Lucky guy. You two seem pretty close.”
“We’ve been friends for a long time,” I said simply, taking a sip of my drink and trying not to overthink his comment.
“Well,” he said, tilting his head slightly, “his loss if he hasn’t made a move yet.”
That caught me off guard. My gaze flicked to his, searching for any hint of a joke, but he was entirely serious—or at least good at pretending to be.
“Excuse me?” I asked, my voice betraying my surprise.
Liam grinned wider, clearly enjoying himself. “Just saying. If I were him, I wouldn’t be sitting over there, letting someone else steal your attention.”
The comment was bold, and I didn’t quite know how to respond. My thoughts were a mess of confusion, flattery, and something else I didn’t want to name. Before I could formulate a response, the familiar sound of Lando’s voice cut through the air.
“Liam,” he said smoothly, stepping up to the table. His tone was calm, but his green eyes held a sharpness that made me sit up a little straighter.
Liam glanced up, raising an eyebrow. “What’s up?”
“Christian’s looking for you,” Lando said, his tone casual but firm. “Something about debrief notes.”
Liam frowned, clearly reluctant. “Now?”
“Yeah,” Lando said, nodding. “He seemed pretty keen.”
Liam hesitated, his gaze flicking between me and Lando like he was weighing his options. Finally, he sighed, pushing himself to his feet. “Alright. Nice meeting you, Y/N.”
“You too,” I replied, watching him leave with a mixture of relief and something I couldn’t quite pin down.
As soon as he was out of earshot, Lando lingered for a moment, his hands shoved into his pockets as he avoided my gaze.
“That,” Charles said, his tone thick with amusement, “was the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard.”
Lando shot him a glare, his ears turning faintly red. “Mind your own business, Charles.”
Charles just smirked, raising his glass in mock surrender. “Whatever you say.”
I didn’t say anything, but a flicker of suspicion settled in the back of my mind.
Had Lando just…? No. That would be ridiculous. Wouldn’t it?
“Let’s get a drink,” Alexandra said, pulling me to my feet.
As Alexandra and I made our way back toward the booth, she nudged me gently, her eyes glinting with curiosity.
“Lando looked like he was about to breathe fire earlier,” she said casually, sipping her drink.
I laughed softly, trying to deflect. “He’s always protective. It’s nothing.”
“Protective?” Alexandra repeated, raising an eyebrow. “That was not protective, chérie. That was jealousy.”
I opened my mouth to respond but stopped short as we neared the booth, Lando and Charles’s voices filtering through the hum of the room.
“It will just be awkward, mate,” Lando said, his tone low and almost resigned.
“Just talk about it,” Charles replied simply.
“It’s not that simple,” Lando muttered. “She will never be more than just a friend.”
The words hit me like a punch to the stomach. My chest tightened, and the air around me seemed to still. Alexandra’s hand touched my arm gently, but I barely noticed.
“I— I need some air,” I managed, turning away before she could respond.
The ache in my chest grew with every step I took, his words echoing in my head.
She will never be more than just a friend.
And just like that, everything I thought I’d imagined felt painfully real.
I turned my phone face down on the table at Gigi’s, willing myself not to glance at the screen again. The missed calls from Lando were piling up, his name lighting up my notifications every half hour like clockwork. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk to him—I did. But every time I thought about his voice, his laugh, his damn words, the ache in my chest tightened.
She will never be more than just a friend.
I shook my head, forcing the thought away as the waiter arrived with my order. The smell of rich, cheesy pasta wafted up, comforting in the way only food could be. I twirled a forkful absentmindedly, hoping the carbs would somehow fill the space that had been hollowed out the night before.
The familiar growl of an engine outside pulled my attention from my plate. I glanced toward the window and froze.
The unmistakable silhouette of Lando’s Miura parked just outside, sleek and shining even under the soft glow of streetlights. A moment later, the door opened, and there he was, stepping out effortless as usual—but his expression wasn’t the easygoing grin I was used to. He looked… worried.
Before I could decide what to do, he spotted me through the window, his shoulders relaxing ever so slightly. He pushed through the door, his eyes locking onto mine immediately.
“There you are,” he said, relief evident in his tone as he approached my table.
I blinked, caught off guard. “Lando? What are you doing here?”
He pulled out the chair across from me, sitting down without asking. “Looking for you.”
My heart twisted. “Why?”
“Because you’ve been ignoring me all day,” he said, his voice quieter now.
I looked away, focusing on my fork. “I had my phone off that’s all.”
He didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he leaned back in his chair, studying me with an intensity that made my skin prickle.
“I knew I’d find you here,” he said finally, his voice softer but steady.
I glanced up, frowning. “What?”
“You always turn to cheesy Italian food when you’re upset,” he said with a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “It’s your thing.”
The casual observation caught me off guard, a mix of warmth and frustration bubbling in my chest.
“So what?” I said, my tone sharper than I intended. “You’re some kind of expert on me now?”
He sighed, leaning forward, his elbows resting on the table. “Y/N, I know you better than anyone. And I know something’s wrong.”
I didn’t answer, twisting my fork in the pasta and pretending to be engrossed in my meal. But the usual comfort it brought was absent, replaced by the uncomfortable weight of his gaze.
“You’re not yourself,” Lando said after a moment, his voice quieter now. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” I said quickly, my tone clipped.
“Don’t lie to me,” he replied, his tone more serious than I was used to.
I set my fork down, the clink of metal against porcelain louder than it should have been. “Maybe I just don’t feel like talking.”
His eyes softened, his frustration giving way to concern. “Y/N…”
“Lando, I’m fine,” I interrupted, though the words felt hollow.
He didn’t push further, but I could see the gears turning in his head. He sat back, glancing down at my half-finished plate of pasta before gesturing to the waiter.
“Can we get the check, please?” he asked, pulling out his wallet.
I frowned. “What are you doing?”
“Paying,” he said simply, standing as the waiter approached.
“For me?”
“Yes,” he said, looking down at me with an expression I couldn’t quite read. “Come on.”
“Come on where?” I asked, my brow furrowing.
“You’ll see,” he said, extending a hand.
I hesitated for a moment before letting him pull me to my feet.
The warm night air hit us as we stepped out of Gigi’s, the soft sound of waves in the distance mingling with the faint hum of the city. Lando didn’t say anything, his grip on my hand firm but gentle as he led me toward Larvotto Beach, just a short walk away.
“Lando, seriously,” I said as we reached the sand. “What’s going on?”
He stopped, turning to face me, his green eyes brighter under the moonlight.
“We need to talk.” he said simply.
And just like that, my heart started racing, even though I had no idea what he was going to say.
The beach stretched out before us, quiet except for the rhythmic crash of waves against the shore. The city lights glittered faintly in the distance, their reflection dancing on the dark water. Lando walked beside me, his shoulders tense, his hands stuffed deep into his pockets.
For once, I didn’t fill the silence. I didn’t trust myself to. My thoughts were a whirlwind—last night’s overheard words still fresh in my mind, colliding with the unexpected intensity of this moment.
We walked like that for a while, the sand soft beneath our feet, until Lando came to a sudden stop. He turned to face me, his green eyes catching the moonlight in a way that made my stomach twist.
“I don’t even know where to start,” he said, running a hand through his hair.
I crossed my arms, my heart pounding so loudly I was sure he could hear it. “Try the beginning.”
He huffed out a soft laugh, shaking his head. “The beginning’s too far back. I’d be here all night.”
“Good thing I don’t have anywhere else to be,” I said, my voice quieter than I intended.
For a moment, he just looked at me, his expression softening. “Y/N, I have a lot of friends. Like, a lot of friends.”
I blinked, confused. “Okay?”
“But none of them get to me the way you do,” he said, his voice dropping.
I stared at him, my breath catching. “What are you saying?”
He glanced out at the water, like he was searching for courage in the rolling waves. “I mean… you’re not just anyone to me. You never have been. You’re the first person I think of when something happens—good or bad. And the idea of upsetting you? It’s unbearable.”
My throat tightened as his words sank in.
“Like today,” he continued, his voice cracking slightly. “You ignored my calls, and I couldn’t stop thinking about whether I’d done something wrong. Whether I hurt you somehow. Because if I did…” He stopped, exhaling sharply, and shook his head. “I can’t stand the thought of you being upset because of me.”
I didn’t respond, too caught up in the flood of emotions his words were pulling from me.
“When you’re upset, it breaks my heart,” he admitted, his voice softer now. “And when you laugh… it’s like my entire day gets brighter. When you’re sad, it feels like my world’s falling apart.”
“Lando,” I started, but he held up a hand, shaking his head.
“I’m not done,” he said, his words tumbling out now, faster and more frantic. “I’ve been feeling like this for so long, and I thought I could just push it aside or pretend it didn’t matter, but it does. It matters so much. And if I messed up—if I’ve ruined this somehow—I don’t know what I’ll do.”
“You didn’t—”
“I’m in love with you,” he blurted, his eyes locking onto mine. “I think I’ve been in love with you for a while now, but I’ve been too scared to admit it. And I know this might change everything, but I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel this way.”
I froze, his confession slamming into me with the force of a tidal wave.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t even know if this makes sense. I just… I can’t lose you, Y/N.”
Without thinking, I stepped closer, grabbed his face, and kissed him.
For a second, he was completely still, caught off guard. But then he kissed me back, his hands slipping to my waist as he pulled me closer. The kiss was soft at first, tentative, but it deepened quickly, making the world around me disappear.
When we finally pulled apart, his forehead rested against mine, both of us catching our breath.
“So… I’m guessing you feel the same?” he asked, a small, nervous smile tugging at his lips.
“You’re so slow sometimes,” I murmured, shaking my head with a laugh.
“Is that a yes?”
“It’s a yes,” I said, smiling.
The relief on his face was almost comical. He pulled me into a hug, his arms wrapping around me tightly like he never wanted to let go.
“I’ve wanted to tell you for so long,” he murmured into my hair.
“And I’ve wanted to hear it,” I admitted, my voice muffled against his chest.
He pulled back just enough to look at me, his brow furrowing slightly. “But… yesterday. Did I say something? Did I—”
I hesitated, my stomach twisting. “I overheard you talking to Charles.”
His face paled. “Oh.”
“You said I’d never be more than a friend,” I said, my voice wavering.
Lando winced, rubbing the back of his neck. “God, Y/N, that’s not how I meant it at all. I said that because I thought I didn’t stand a chance. Like… you’re so important to me, and I didn’t want to mess up what we already had by wanting something I thought I could never have.”
He looked at me with a mix of regret and hope. “I’m an idiot. It wasn’t because I didn’t want more—it’s because I didn’t think I could have it.”
“You are an idiot,” I said, my lips twitching into a small smile. “But you’re my idiot.”
He laughed softly, shaking his head. “Yours, huh? Bold claim.”
I tilted my head, my grin widening. “Think you can find someone else to deal with you the way I do?”
He raised an eyebrow, stepping closer. “Deal with me? You mean worship my charm and tolerate my perfection?”
“Oh, please,” I shot back, rolling my eyes. “The only thing I’m worshipping is the patience I’ve built up putting up with you.”
His hands slid to my waist, pulling me slightly closer, his smirk turning more mischievous. “You love me. Admit it.”
“Not a chance,” I said, even as my pulse quickened.
His gaze dropped to my lips for the briefest moment before meeting my eyes again, his voice softening but still teasing. “You’re a terrible liar, you know.”
Before I could respond, he closed the gap, kissing me again with a fierceness that took me by surprise. This wasn’t the hesitant, nervous kiss from before. It was confident, teasing, like everything we’d been holding back had finally snapped into place.
I kissed him back, my fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt to pull him closer. His hands tightened on my waist, grounding me as he smiled against my lips, murmuring, “Still denying it?”
I broke the kiss just long enough to catch my breath, raising an eyebrow. “You think one kiss is going to make me fold?”
“Two,” he said smugly, leaning in for another without waiting for an answer.
I rolled my eyes but didn’t stop him, meeting him halfway this time. His lips curved into a grin mid-kiss, and I could feel his stupid, insufferable smugness radiating off him.
“You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?” I asked when we pulled apart, my voice laced with mock annoyance.
“Unbelievably,” he replied, his grin widening as he rested his forehead against mine. “And don’t pretend you’re not.”
“Maybe I am,” I admitted, smirking. “But if you keep talking, I might start regretting it.”
He laughed, pulling me closer. “Alright, no more talking. For now.”
“Good,” I said, leaning in again, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore fading into the background as everything else fell away.
The weight of everything unsaid was gone, replaced by the warmth of realizing we’d both been fighting our way toward the same truth: we’d always belonged to each other.
When we broke apart, Lando’s grin turned mischievous, and I immediately knew he was up to something. Before I could react, he scooped me up effortlessly and started toward the water.
“Lando! Don’t you dare!” I shrieked, squirming in his arms as laughter bubbled out of me.
“Payback for all those times you called me an idiot,” he teased, stopping just as the waves lapped at his shoes.
He finally set me down, his smirk smug and unapologetic. “Admit it. You love me anyway.”
Figures. I’m in love with someone who steals my fries and once confidently argued that dolphins were just “sea dogs.” I wouldn’t have it any other way though.
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cassafrasscr · 2 days ago
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I keep seeing people be like, "Ashton needs to stop acting like he's still a nobody with no power or agency. He's a level 15 Barbarian with a Titan shard and Luxon powers."
And like, yes. Ashton is EXTREMELY powerful. That's objectively true. And they're definitely not a nobody anymore either.
But here's the thing. Ashton’s spent their whole life until relatively recently with various boots on their neck. And the last time Ashton tried to step out of the role of a downtrodden gutter punk - to be a somebody, to be powerful, to be a hero - they got in way over their head. He fully bought into the same hubris that got his parents killed, literally blew himself up, and almost ruined all his friendships. Especially with abandonment being one of Ashton’s biggest issues, of course that would be a setback in his personal development.
Ashton leans so hard into being a nobody because it’s safer than being a somebody. If he’s not powerful or important, his mistakes won't have the same effect as they would otherwise. If you don't matter to anyone, you won’t be able to disappoint them.
Of course, that doesn't change the actual facts - Ashton IS powerful, and he matters a great deal, both to the Hells and to the fate of Exandria. I just think they're not in the right headspace or environment to really reckon with that in the way they need to. Especially since, for the most part, they never really asked for any of it. Ashton got their abilities (Titan and Luxon) because of circumstances outside of their control (his parents messing with powers they didn't understand, and Milo pouring a Potion of Possibility into his brain while he was injured and unconscious).
Plus, having power means having more of an ability to hurt people. We know from episode 40 that he worries about potentially turning on and attacking the Hells (or about one of the others turning, in which case he'd probably have to fight them to protect the rest of the group). They also worry about their body/powers being a ticking time bomb that could go off at any time. Not to mention, almost immediately having a panic attack upon finding out that they’re half Titan.
So, yeah. I'm not really surprised that Ashton would take one look at the idea that he's powerful and important and run the fuck away. Especially after all the fallout from Shardgate. Obviously, burying his head in the sand about it isn't going to help them learn to deal with it, and there are definite parallels with Ludinus in this. It's not a rational response to the situation, and the rest of Bell’s Hells are in a similar boat - especially since they've all spent most of the campaign feeling overwhelmed and utterly inadequate for the monumental task ahead of them.
Hopefully, they all survive this and can really start to unpack the nature of their relationship to power. Preferably with the Exandrian equivalent of a therapist, lol. 😅
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sirxlla · 2 days ago
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Grand Gestures
----‐-------------------------------------------
Warnings: It's so fluffy Im gonna die.
Prompt: Being friends with Tim but you two act like a couple and realizing theres deeper feelings (request @nesting-dreams )
Notes: female reader, italics are actions and thoughts.
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-With that said it's all under the cut-
Bruce requested that all of the Batboys take at least one night off a week, minimum. Naturally, Tim used his time off to spend time with you and play video games. Just domestic time that most would see as trivial. Tim always loved how you two enjoyed simple time together and how you both wanted to do things for eachother, it came naturally for you both. The both of you just got done with dinner about 10 minutes ago so you did dishes so he didnt have to later.
Afterwards, you laid on the couch and he lifted his arms for you so you could lay your head in his lap.
"Just let me finish this level and we can watch a movie or something, okay?"
"I don't mind, I like watching you play, Bubby." You reassured him as you nuzzled into his lap and watched him play his game, his arm rested on his head and the controller rested on his other thigh so you can see.
"Oh, My-" The both of you got scared and jumped at the same time which had prompted him to accidentally hit you in the nose with the controller, obviously you groaned.
"Holy- Are you okay?" Tim asks before looking down at you to check your nose, just a small bruise was forming there. He lowered his head to get a better look, he mouth so close to yours.
"Tim...I'm...I'm okay..." Your eyes finding his as his warm breath wafts across your face. His gaze flicks between your lips and your eyes. He pulls back as he notices how close he is, your lips almost try to chase his.
"I'm so sorry for...um...for hitting you." He tries to distract his thoughts, the last thing he'd wanna do is ruin your friendship by assuming this was more. He'd rather have you here than not have you at all by scaring you off.
"Tim, I- Can I- I...What is this?" You stammer out, you're just as worried as Tim it seems.
"We can be friends or like I mean if you wanted we could- I mean." Tim responded just as in shambles as you.
"I love you." You blurted out on accident which prompted two sets of red cheeks between the both of you.
"You love me?" His eyes lit up as he realized what you said. You nodded trying to realize that your best friend truly did love you and you him. You nuzzled your nose with his, the pain from the bump had faded. "She loves me" his brain repeated over and over as a bright smile filled his face but neither of you said more that night, you two didn't wanna push it or ruin the moment.
You worked at the local library and Tim often found himself "needing" books to research. Of course he could just use the BatComputer but that meant he cant see you, he brought you in some lunch from your favorite restaurant.
He bounced around the library for quite a while looking for different books and things that he needed. You watched him, he was sneaky about whatever he was doing but you just laughed and shrugged it off.
"What are you hiding from me, Drake?" You asked him as he went to your coworker to check out and not you like he normally did.
"N- N- Nothing! I promise." Tim stammered the words out with a blush.
"Alright, If you say so." God, he was so cute it was hard not to smile or believe him.
"You wanna know what he checked out?" Your coworker asks.
"No, he'll tell me if it's important."
"Come over to the manor, please? I need your help." He texted you later that evening.
"Everything alright?" Worry shot through you as you responded to his text.
"It's all good, just...please?" He repeated himself in another text.
"Okay, I'm omw. See you then."
When you arrived at the manor Tim moved over to your driver's side door and opened it all gentleman like and helped you out of the car.
"If- Um...If you don't love me like I love you then just consider this a nice dinner but if you do then can we consider it a date?" He asked/stated nervously.
"Is that why you're dressed all nice, Bubby?" You heart was swelling. Tim had gone through so much effort, his expression made that obvious.
"Yeah, I- Oh, god..." He was starting to think this was a bad idea and you could tell.
"Well, I'd be honored to have it be our first date." You smiled and gently used your hand to guide chin so his eyes looked back up into yours.
"I read like a whole bunch of romance novels and they said the most romantic area for a date was usually a gazebo so I fixed the one in the yard up and I got light and everything. For dinner I had Alfred show me how to cook a- and I wanted to do all the work and have it dont by me and I found that song that we both liked when we both first met and-"
He kept rambling and cutting himself off, it was honestly one of- scratch that it is the sweetest thing a man has ever done for you. Tim clearly was nervous and rambly still so you cut him off, grabbing his face and kissing him deeply.
"You could get me a cardboard shitty pizza and I would think it was the best, Tim. This is just- Oh, god..." Tears fell into your eyes and he started to go into panic mode.
"Oh, god was it too much? I-" He watched you tear up before you hugged him and his worry vanished again.
"Oh...Happy tears?" He asked as you burried your face in his neck.
"It literally wasn't super hard to do and I just want you to be happy all the time." He rubbed your back.
"You're my everything, Sweetheart."
"I can't be your everything cause your my everything." You were sniffling before he sat you down and ran off to go get dinner.
"Stay here, I promise. It'll be perfect."
He came back with a tray of food assisted by his very clearly proud oldest brother. Dick was obviously proud but he wasnt gonna butt in and ruin his litter brother's big gesture.
They both placed the trays down and what was it but pie. Your brows furrowed for a second as you thought but then it hit you.
When you met him for the first time, you went on this whole long expedition of a conversation about pie at Pauli's diner.
"You- you remembered." You looked up at him.
"It's easy to remember when the cute stranger next to you goes on a tirade about pie." He laughs as he gazes into your eyes and the way the fairy lights bounce off of them.
"I knew from that moment I wanted you in my life in any way possible. You made me feel safe in the way you talked about whatever. It's...It's something I wish I was so confident to do with a stranger."
"Well, for one I didnt know you were Bruce Wayne's son and I figure most of the time, you'll never see specific people again so if you mess it up it's okay cause the likelyhood you see them again is slim but if they think you're cool then you just made a friend." You take a bite out of the pie and it's amazing, you eyes widen.
"That level of optimism is refreshing in such a place like Gotham. Its one of the things I love about yo-" He sees your reaction.
"Oh, God. Dont hate it." He thinks to himself.
"No way you made that yourself! Holy- Wow! That's...thats phenomenal." You praised and yet again his anxiety was curbed, you did it so naturally without noticing it. He hoped he could give you everything you give him and return it back by a tenfold. He was down bad and the happiest man Gotham right now with the best woman in the city- scratch that...the world.
-> Masterlist <-
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airbenderedacted · 3 days ago
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Nate never said that his intention was to imply that Dominator has a crush on Sylvia. Their relationship in that episode was strictly platonic with "shippy undertones" at best. All he said was that he personally shipped them together because they were the only two women in the show, which is not the same as wanting/forcing them to be a couple in canon, and that him liking the ship and headcanoning Sylvia and Dominator as both being lesbians was his inspiration to write an episode putting them together, in which he could queercode them to his (and other crew members') heart's content. To say that a lone staff writer can just hijack the writing in a show that isn't his own to "make two of the main characters a couple" is just ridiculous, man... or at the very least, it is when Wander Over Yonder is the show we're talking about. Nate was open about all of this to the point that the show's supervising producer even talked about it, so literally nothing in that episode was done without McCracken's (who involves himself in pretty much every level of the creation of the show, if the hiatus video they made is any indicator) approval. If Nate Stevenson singlehandedly made Lord Dominator a lesbian it would've been because the guy in charge of it all said, "please do."
A very major part of Lord Dominator's character is the fact that she isn't interested in ANYONE romantically, and, no, The Night Out does not contradict this! Her interest in Sylvia was platonic. Writing a character as lesbian does not inherently go hand-in-hand with giving said character a female love interest, or even a crush, or anything in the realm of romance. That line of thinking is how we get people judging queer romantic relationships as the end-all-be-all of queer representation. (Tbh, all queer characters needing to be Representation is also a bit of a problem.) You can have a female character who loathes it when men take an interest in her, who likes to be gnc, who only cares about hanging out with women when it comes to keeping anyone in her company, and whose writing was significantly influenced by a lesbian writer, and have that be the sole ingredients used when deciding to let the fact that she's been envisioned as a lesbian guide the creation of the final product. A character can be a lesbian just because she's a lesbian and because different crew members threw nods to it here and there throughout the show.
.......and Sylvia is no more a horse than Wander is a chicken leg 😭
She's just an alien woman whose species is well-suited for carrying travelers around if they'd like to!
Ughhh ok, I'm gonna start this off by saying that I am all for more queer rep, especially in kid's shows. Ok? Ok. Now, Nate wanting to make Lord Dominator lesbian was such a dumb choice. So, basically in one episode "The Night Out" Nate said it was his intention to show Lord Dominator as a lesbian in that episode, by implying she has a crush on Slyvia...d-does he HAVE to add a toxic lesbian romance in whatever show he touches? First we have Catradora, now he's trying to make Dominator and Slyvia a couple, when they both HATE EACH OTHER, and when Dominator attempted to KILL SLYVIA showing no guilt. Dominator just very clearly has no romantic feelings towards Slyvia. Also Slyvia's a literal horse sooo...I don't get what his obsession is with toxic sapphic romances, but he has got to stop.
#rq apologies if this just reads as like. an insufferably long/rambley reply. i know way way way too much about This One Thing Specifically#the one thing being lord dominator and everythjng that crew put into making her#ragging on Nate's love of toxic yuri is super fair game#but saying that he made it a thing that dominator - the most 'no romo' character ever - had an implied crush on sylvia is just. no.#the episode ends by showing us that they could never be actual friends because dominator is fucked up and evil and abusive#and sylvia knows that that's all kinds of wrong and shuts that shit down the instant the red flags pop up#dom not even being able to form a genuine friendship with the person she had the most in common with-#-drives home the point that she CANT be made friends with. nobody should have any form of relationship with her#she's just a sadistic selfish abuser who you should run for the hills from#that's the lesson we learn through the addition of Dom as an antagonist and it's consistently reemphasized as we spend more time on her#The Night Out changed none of that; it gave us all the more evidence of that! It's one of the most crucial episodes wrt fleshing out Dom!!#The writers have spoken before about this being a really important ep for the character bc it really gets into the fact that-#-she's lonely. She's hypercompetent. Needs no help w/ anything. She's evil and abusive. Has no social connections. She destroys EVERYTHING.#Of COURSE the biggest piece of her character when you strip all of her power is the fact that she's utterly alone /and for good reason/#The Hater crush arc and Awesome's tomfoolery drive home that nobody should want to date her#Wander's attempts to 'get through to the good in her' & Sylvia's short-lived friendship w/ her drive home that she shouldn't be befriended#The Night Out is an episode we were going to get no matter what. Nate was decided to be the best person to write it.#Apparently a significant amount of the crew saw her as lesbian/sapphic so he may have been the loudest about it but#Nate Stevenson was not a rogue crew member forcing the character to be a lesbian who wants to get with the show's one other female main#he may have gone ham with the lesbian untertones between dominator and sylvia or whatever (literally with permission dhfsbvds)#but. again. dominator is not a character who's interested in *anyone* like that. nate didn’t throw out that fact. he worked within it.#he wrote the ship-fodder-y ep that he wanted without sacrificing the fact that dominator wouldn't crush on sylvia#the show always hits you over the head with it when a character is romantically interested in another. TNO was very clearly not like that.#they were quite literally just gals being pals lol
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blackmoonowl · 5 hours ago
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Hello! Is it ok if you do sfw alphabet with Gale from Baldur's Gate 3?
𝓢𝓕𝓦 𝓐𝓵𝓹𝓱𝓪𝓫𝓮𝓽 - 𝓖𝓪𝓵𝓮 𝓓𝓮𝓴𝓪𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓼
Anything for my favorite fans!! First time writing for this char so once again ykyk
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𝐀 = ����𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧  (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
‪‪❤︎ Gale loves affection, both giving and receiving. He might not be the biggest on PDA, but he's definitely not going to say no to you, he could never say no to you.
‪‪❤︎‬ How he shows his affection depends on whether or not the two of you are alone. Gale is a more private person when it comes to actual displays of affection. In front of the others he might hold your hand, peck you on the cheek or lips or hug you. In private, he loves to cuddle and have little make out session if you're up for it.
𝐁 = 𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
‪‪❤︎ Gale holds you in high regards as his friends. You are the person he tells everything to. His grief over how things went with Mystra, his fears, regrets. Get used to him talking your ears off at every chance possible.
‪‪❤︎‬ It wouldn't take long for Gale to develop a friendship with you. You're someone who listens to him, even if his rants and lectures get a little bit annoying. He's practically glued to you from day one.
𝐂 = 𝐂𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬 (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
‪‪❤︎‬ Gale loves cuddling. He loves being cozied up with you while he reads a book. It's one his favorite ways to unwind, and he has fallen asleep on you on more than one occasion.
‪‪❤︎‬ Little spoon through and through, though he doesn't like admitting that. That isn't to say he doesn't like being the big spoon either. The most important part for him is being close to you, feeling the comforting reassurance of your body.
𝐃 = 𝐃𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
‪‪❤︎‬ Yes. He absolutely loves the idea of settling down with you. Getting married, living in Waterdeep, him teaching magic and enjoying a quiet life together after all you both had been through.
‪‪❤︎‬ Okay at cooking at cleaning. Nothing ground breaking, but he gets the job done. His own personal space is an organized mess. There are some items strewn around, but he knows where everything is. Worst part of his house is the dust in the bookshelves.
𝐄 = 𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠  (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
❤︎ Probably with a long talk. He doesn't want to just leave you in the dust. Even if you deeply hurt him, you're still someone he completely adored, and he thinks you deserve that much.
❤︎ Needs a lot of time apart after that. He might be open to rekindle your friendship, but a relationship is likely out of the question, depending on what you did. He can't let himself be hurt in that way, not again.
𝐅 = 𝐅𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞(𝐞) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
❤︎ He definitely wants to get married. Gale loves you, and he loves the idea of tying the knot to signify your bond, your promise to each other and most importantly your love.
❤︎ Takes a little while for him to pop the question. He wants to, really badly, but he wants to refrain from making rash decisions or putting you on the spot. This moment is significant for him, and he wants to make sure it's done at the right time.
𝐆 = 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞 (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
❤︎ Very, very gentle. Gale isn't exactly the rough type. His physical gestures are more slow and romantic. Soft, yet firm embraces, kisses to the face. Even when he gets more playful he makes sure not to accidentally hurt you.
❤︎ Emotionally he tries. I mean he would never intentionally hurt you, but he can come off as a little condescending. Problem is, Gale doesn't see it as a problem.
𝐇 = 𝐇𝐮𝐠𝐬 (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
❤︎ Yes, very much. Pretty much always up for a hug. Embracing you is comforting to him, and he actively seeks it out. Hugs are some of the more common displays of affection you get from him.
❤︎ The type of hugs mostly just depends on the mood. Usually his hugs are gentle, one hand on the back of your head and the other one around your waist. When he's gone through something, his arms are firmly around your midsection, trapping your arms as he pulls you close.
𝐈 = 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 (How fast do they say the L-word?)
❤︎ He says it when he admits he has fallen for you. Gale struggles to get it out at first, but it feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders when he finally says it.
❤︎ After that it's smooth sailing for him. He enjoys saying it. When he greets you he says it, when the two of you are cuddling, and whenever he is just feeling a little bit sentimental.
𝐉 = 𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲 (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
❤︎ He is a decently jealous man. He's very aware of his shortcomings, seeing you interact with more attractive and capable men than him, it tends to crush his ego quite a bit. He can't help but compare himself to the others in your life.
❤︎ Sulks, a lot. He tries to keep it to himself but it ends up spilling out one way or another. Gale seeks your comfort in times of jealousy. He wants to be reassured, told that you love him.
𝐊 = 𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
❤︎ Gale loves kisses. Swift pecks on the lips, hums as he kisses you on the cheek and nose. And emotional and love driven kiss against your forehead or the top of your head. He's up for it all.
❤︎ He'd say he loves being kissed everywhere. But if he's honest, he likes kisses on the corner of his mouth. But if he was feeling more adventurous, his neck and his shoulder are definitely the places to target.
𝐋 = 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 (How are they around children?)
❤︎ Gale is pretty decent with kids. Doesn't feel super strongly about them, doesn't dislike them either. He interacts with them sometimes, does some magic to make them laugh if he's looking after them.
❤︎ Hasn't really thought about having his own before he met you. Now the thought crosses his mind sometimes. He wonders what it would be like if the two of you had a little one of your own, a product of your shared love.
𝐌 = 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 (How are mornings spent with them?)
❤︎ Gale isn't that much of a morning person. He prefers sleeping in with you if possible. Prepare for some cheeky pick up line on how he loves waking up beside you. He has tripped over some of his stuff first thing in the morning on more than one occasion.
❤︎ Likes making breakfast together if he has the chance. Gives him an excuse to be close to you while you get the day started. After that he might go off to go teach, or he might plan something with you.
𝐍 = 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 (How are nights spent with them?)
❤︎ Type to turn in early. He doesn't go to sleep immediately, enjoying a slow night routine. Romantic evenings with you is something he looks forward to. Having dinner together, watching the stars and catching up after a long day.
❤︎ Reads a little bit before drifting off. Sometimes he'll chat a little, you wrapped up in his arms, firmly pulled against his body. Tends to be the first one of you two to fall asleep.
𝐎 = 𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧  (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
❤︎ He can't be mysterious even if he tries. He runs his mouth a lot. Sure, he doesn't talk much about the deeper, personal things, but you definitely heard about him being Mystra's former chosen, and the fact he is a wizard.
❤︎ The deeper stuff comes a bit later. When he trusts you, he spills everything. His deepest insecurities, how he was cast aside, how he felt, and how he feels about you.
𝐏 = 𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 (How easily angered are they?)
❤︎ Not angered that fast, and can generally keep a cool head even if he's peeved. He does his best to be understanding, especially when it comes down to you. He holds you in high regards, and prefers to think you have good intentions.
❤︎ Prefers to cool off alone, before he says anything he regrets. He'll take some time to sort himself out, read books, maybe practice. After that he'll seek you out himself to talk things out.
𝐐 = 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐳𝐳𝐞𝐬 (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
❤︎ Remembers a lot about you. He can't help but admire you. Remembering things you like and implementing them within the relationship. He doesn't remember every detail, but he retains the things that count.
❤︎ Likes bringing it up. It's to impress you mostly. He really wants you to know he has been paying attention to your wants, needs and desires.
𝐑 = 𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
❤︎ That night under the stars where he first confessed his love for you. So many feelings were going through him at that time. He had a parasite in his brain and an orb in him that was about to explode. Yet you accepted his feelings.
❤︎ Gale still thinks about it often, even later. The details are burned in his head. He remembers how he used his magic to make the sky look, the first kiss you shared, everything. It even causes him to zone out a little.
𝐒 = 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
❤︎ Gale is plenty protective. He wants you safe but he's not overbearing. Obviously magic is his main form of protecting you from danger. Whether that be creepy guys by the inn, or enemies on the battlefield.
❤︎ Gale secretly likes being protected, just a little bit. Whenever you step up for him, he can't help but admire you while you do so. Though if you pick fights with powerful enemies on his behalf, he's definitely going to panic. You're shaving the years of this humans life.
𝐓 = 𝐓𝐫𝐲 (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
❤︎ Definitely tries, kind of a show off. He loves taking you out on dates after a long week of teaching and learning magic. He loves some alone time with you to help him unwind. Gale tries to go all out anniversaries. He uses all that he learned about you to make the moment special.
❤︎ Magic ties heavily into everything. It adds a little extra something to the moment in his eyes. Same effort goes with gifts. This man gifts you books, like a lot of them. Your bedroom has been converted into a library at this rate, though sometimes he gifts items like clothing instead.
𝐔 = 𝐔𝐠𝐥𝐲(What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
❤︎ This is mostly the beginning of the relationship but his constant moping about Mystra can get grating after a while. No one wants to hear their partner go on about their failed relationship.
❤︎ Kind of a know it all. Gale thinks he knows better than you do, especially when it comes to magic. He can and will mansplain it to you, dumbing it down so 'even you can understand'. It has led to a few arguments.
𝐕 = 𝐕𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 (How concerned are they with their looks?)
❤︎ So so. He's not concerned with being the hottest guy in the room, but he takes good care of himself. He's well groomed and although he often smells like old books, he's never really filthy.
❤︎ Actually really likes baths. It's a nice way for him to relax. He'll light some candles, and read a few books until the water gets cold. The wizard even though about inviting you to join him a few times.
𝐖 = 𝐖𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
❤︎ Mostly yes. First he based his whole self worth around his relationship with Mystra. That obviously ended up in catastrophic failure. You were there when he was down and dying. In his eyes you rescued him, you're part of him.
❤︎ He struggles coming to terms with it, if you're no longer with him. Finds himself talking to you even though you're not there anymore, makes your side of the bed, etc.
𝐗 = 𝐗𝐭𝐫𝐚 (A random headcanon for them.)
❤︎ All of his students know about you. He cannot not shut up about you even if he tried. His students have used it to get extra schoolwork. Just ask Gale about his spouse and he probably has a thousand stories to tell.
❤︎ This also extends to his friends. He mentions it to them when he comes across your favorite foods, drinks, thinks you like, things you dislike. His friends know you better than you know them.
𝐘 = 𝐘𝐮𝐜𝐤 (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
❤︎ Being unfaithful is obviously one of them. He's completely devoted for you, and he expects the same of you. He loves you, but if you seek the romantic companies of others, he will not stand for that, and he'll let you know.
❤︎ Don't mock him. He has enough securities as is, he doesn't need you picking at him as well. You should be there to support him, not kick him while he's done.
𝐙 = 𝐙𝐳𝐳 (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
❤︎ A surprisingly deep sleeper. Once he's drifted off, he can sleep through a surprising amount of things. If you get up and are gone too long however, he might wake up, missing your warmth beside him.
❤︎ The bed is often covered in books. There's a book under his pillow, under your pillow, at the foot of your bed. Sometimes you roll over and you're laying on one of his books.
𓅓 Masterpost
𓅓 Consider supporting me! (Ko-fi)
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the-carrotella · 1 year ago
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Everyone who’s ever been mean to Fallout: Equestria should actually read it.
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kuruna · 4 months ago
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AZ was unhealthily attached to Floette in the same way Xan was unhealthily attached to AZ 💔 it just happens to be easier to tell when you're on the receiving end of this behavior vs. when you're the one perpetrating it 😔
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ahalliance · 3 months ago
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how do i turn qantoine’s spontaneous marriage proposal to qetoiles into evidence of his early-days fear of qfrench drifing away and keeping secrets from one another
#the conversation takes place in antoine’s vod: L’ANNIVERSAIRE DE TALLULAH at 41 mins ish#like . okay . its such a fucking crazy moment to me that still lives in my head bc it’s a a joke . but it’s also not#he asks etoiles directly after spiderbit wedding . ‘don’t you want to get married?’#after it gets mentioned*#etoiles turns him down bc he ‘doesn’t have time to fuck [he] needs to kill everyone’#and antoine says ‘well but— just a marriage’ like it’s the act itself that is the most important to him not anything that could come with it#the confirmation of partnership . of having someone to rely on . something that feels to him maybe more certain and solid than the#friendships antoine had at that point . like if he felt things were slipping and he was being left behind he wanted the certainty of#something like a marriage that is traditionally considered More important and certain .#and i think the end of their conversation is notable in how antoine brings up the notion of betrayal — he getting betrayed by others and how#he’s fed up with it . after etoiles says no to the marriage (though specifying that he’s gonna think about it) antoine brings the whole#betrayal thing up after a pause . he doesn’t necessarily consider etoiles as having betrayed him but it’s that lack of certainty#certainty that etoiles has refused to give him that makes him start to open up about how he’s tired of people promising him things (or#seeming to promise him things) only to leave him out and in the dark . and there’s an insecurity there that really shines if you take this#moment into consideration with the Larger Shifting his character is going through .#like tldr ; qantoine has begun to realise that his friends are starting to form deeper bonds with other people and thus keep secrets with#them which to him means leaving him behind . taking notice of this he brings this up to his friends in . not exactly direct ways . he#talks about how he doesn’t like secret keeping but doesn’t seem to push much further and he also tries to remedy the issue#of feeling left behind by doing shit as discussed above ^ however on account of the InHuman i’m not sure he understands what he’s doing very#well . and as we know antoine doesn’t make much progress and ends up retreating into himself and beginning to keep his own secrets . to do#his own shady shit . to work in the shadows and not be honest with any of his friends either . to hold them at arm’s length despite how much#he still cares . the only person he puts his full trust into anymore is pomme . not ayp who he deems too underhanded . not bagz who he sees#as having started the whole ‘secret keeping’ stuff in the first place . and not etoiles who’s actively going down a path with the codes and#resistance that he cannot follow#that was NOT a short tldr . why the fuck am i writing dissertation length tags about MINECRAFT BLOCKS#god whatever who cares i get joy out of this thats what matters#anw if you read this far holy shit ur insane . thank you#i am going to bed now godbless !#jay rambles#qfrench.posting
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alagaisia · 4 months ago
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Hey if you’re still enjoying and engaging with Harry Potter in any capacity you can unfollow me 😊 please and thank you
Like. I get it. I was super into it as a kid too. I did not have the social context to pick up on the antisemitism or transphobia or sexism or fatphobia or bioessentialism or racism or anything else. I also picked up on surface-level language of Fighting Back Against Evil and ascribed my own values onto what that meant and thought we were all on the same page. I remember when the original kids who grew up with the books started becoming adult fans and picking up on the (blatant!) antisemitism and everybody was still mostly willing to give JKR the benefit of the doubt on it. (“She was writing kids books!” They said. “She didn’t know she was penning a global phenomenon! She picked a common literary trend in European fairy tales (antisemitic caricature) and didn’t examine it closely. It’s a mistake anyone could make,” we said. “She would probably do things differently now. After all, she word-of-god confirmed the vaguest hints she dropped that Dumbledore might be gay,” we said.) There was actually a span of several years where biases inherent in the actual real content of the Harry Potter series were coming to light and even the people pointing them out still seemed mostly to think it was an unfortunate accident.
That time has passed. Years ago! We are long past the first months of “maybe she doesn’t realize this seemingly-feminist tweet she liked was made by a noted TERF” and then “how could she not realize that these many veiled TERF-y things she’s retweeted have implications for the many queer fans of her work” and finally “oh wow okay JKR just dropped an entire transphobic manifesto on twitter. I guess the transphobia was the point.”
Yeah, there were a few months after that where people were still processing and still working through how they felt about Harry Potter and all of its flaws with the context of the now open transphobia of the creator. I was there for that. Remember how I was one of the kids who built it up into something noble and worthwhile based on my own beliefs about what messages it was probably trying to convey? Turns out it wasn’t trying to say any of those things, and when you take the time to examine all of the terrible shit that made its way into the text whether JKR intended it to be there or not, the whole series falls apart. It’s weird to discover that there’s a room in your house that’s rotten to the core, but eventually you figure out you can’t live like that, still going in there and holding your nose and pretending it’s still the same room you thought it was when the termites were only inside of the walls and hadn’t yet started chewing their way through the furniture. Because what’s going to happen is that they are going to infest the rest of your house. If you decide you can ignore transphobia and antisemitism and everything else just because you liked the color of the wallpaper, the rest of your principles are going to crumble too. You get rid of that fucking room. You put those books on a high shelf in the back of your closet behind other outgrown clothes and interests and you move the fuck on.
JKR uses the money made from her transphobic antisemitic children’s books to actively funding hate groups and to lobby for legislation that will and has actually affected the actual lives of trans people in an entire country. We are past the point of grieving something you were wrong about in childhood. Kids are wrong about a lot of stuff. You grow up and you learn new information and you change your behaviors based on it. You have to choose. It is transphobic to pretend there is not transphobia where there is. It is transphobic to support the work of someone who is using those funds to take rights from trans people with every fucking dollar. It is hateful to continue to engage positively with a story that at its very core is rooted in hate and bigotry and prejudice. You can choose to do all of those things but you cannot claim ignorance of them and you cannot choose those things and still pretend that choosing them upholds the values we convinced ourselves that Harry Potter stood for over a decade ago as uninformed children. You cannot choose to do those things and pretend to still support your trans and queer and Jewish neighbors. I do not want you in my neighborhood. Leave.
#mine#Harry potter cw#yeah I don’t want to see or think about this shit either and I’m sure most of my followers are on the same page of just like. let’s wipe it#from the public consciousness and do our best to just completely ignore it and forget it existed and in doing so take away JKRs platform and#influence and also stop the continued harm the series will do by propagated hateful biases in people who continue to read it#but despite heavily culling my feed over the course of the past several years and thankfully mostly not seeing HP fandom things anymore#I’ve been seeing a lot of responses today to people defending it and honestly I forget that there are still people out there doing that who#think they are just fine and normal fandom people with non-hateful and terrible interests and it makes me so angry#maybe more so because like. I was there too! I was annoyingly obsessed with Harry Potter from the ages of idk seven? up until whenever JKR#started being openly transphobic. I have so much fucking knowledge about this book series that will never leave my brain. and yeah it was#weird and hard to have to rethink things and realize that no actually it does feel bad and uncomfortable to continue to be a fan even#passively of these books. it was a big part of my childhood and several of my friendships. I fully get it. I was the weird kid also.#it was weird and hard to say oh actually this sucks and I don’t want to be a part of it anymore. but I did it! I got there! because it was#more important to care about real actual things and people than it is to fondly remember a book series for children.#and at the time it felt like maybe I did hang on a little longer than I could have and was a little later than some people and figuring out#my feelings and moving on from the whole thing. but it was still fucking years ago. and you’re still here?#because you like the color of the wallpaper in this shitty rotten broken down tacked on room? because we used to spend time there together?#buddy the room was giving us lead poisoning the whole time and the rest of us have accepted that and we are all outside doing other things.#you will find connection and community in so many places in your life. I promise. get the fuck out of that terrible awful room#and for gods sake stop bring out handfuls of mold you found under the floorboards and shoving it in our faces#nobody fucking wants this. we did it. we’re done.#so yeah I think I have an extra level of disdain because I know from personal experience that it’s not *that* fucking hard to care more#about real life trans people than about antisemitic children’s books.
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I don't know how to write this without it being horribly obvious who I'm writing about
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meowww-ffxiv · 2 years ago
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on Meowdred and his gender/sexuality because I saw a WoLQotD on Twitter and it's interesting:
Meowdred had the fortune of growing up around a lot of trans/nb people or those who eventually discovered themselves to be trans/nb or otherwise non-conforming to even the loose societal expectations of Dirt Poor Bastards Living in Port City. So he got to ask the question of whether he felt the same early, and got the answer early that he was comfortable with the way his gender identity matched with his physical body.
The whole being aro/ace was more nebulous because there was no point of reference for Mordred to even think about the concept. He just knew that he didn't feel the kind of craving others seemed to have of sex, or even the loneliness that drove some friends to have 3 lovers in the span of 2 weeks. Yeah, he's kissed a guy...and a girl...and a non-binary person. It was nice, and a bit awkward, and Mordred decided to take the fact that he felt no urge to pursue a follow-up at face value.
Nowadays he's like... "I'll try and meet you in the middle of our attraction if it is mutual and if I care about you, whatever it is, but there will be no point in our relationship -- of whatever nature it is -- where I cease to be myself."
It had been both a point of appreciation and consternation with others in his previous, and current, relationships. Mordred would be incredibly upfront about his limits and hard lines, and didn't tolerate attempts at coercion or manipulation to get those hard lines to change.
But those were sweeping, hard lines drawn in the earth. For the little things, a hundred thousand compromises and small negotiations of space and however many moments of inconvenience and discomfort Mordred needed to go through, to make his friends happy? Yeah, he'd do them. The favors, the hours trekking through the rain to get them something they like, the conversations he didn't really enjoy but knew Alphinaud did.
For all that Mordred didn't experience sexual or romantic attraction, he's very clear-minded when it comes to knowing how relationships work for him, and how he can make his side of a connection work for others. Relationships, after all, aren't inherently transactional. Nor are they about feeling comfort in each individual moment. Rather they're a balance of intuition, attention, and care; if the small things inconveniences and disagreements suffered are towards a net-positive, then he would suffer them all, and be glad that there was someone he loved enough to make all this worthwhile.
But this was wisdom Mordred could never put into words. He wasn't very good with words. He could only live it, and sincerely hope that his friends understood the value he placed in those friendships, and the reason why he would keep choosing them.
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caruliaa · 1 year ago
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i hate tht so much of my life has been me begging others to care about me the way theyre supposed to . i hate that instead of wishing i didnt have to i wish that for once theyd say yes
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crystallinestars · 1 month ago
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Just Confess Already! Part 2
Drabbles about Genshin men (or you) confessing with the help of a wingman. This is pure fluff.
Characters: Kazuha, Kinich, Ororon, Wanderer, and Cyno.
Part 1 here.
I apologize if the endings sound abrupt, I've edited and rewritten this many times, and at this point I just want to get this finally posted. I also apologize for the length, my writing style has changed since part 1.
🍁 Kazuha
Everyone and their mother at The Crux could tell you and Kazuha had a thing for each other. The way you guys spent most of your free time in each other’s company discussing poetry or music, the way Kazuha always volunteered to help you with your tasks, how you took care of Kazuha when he got drunk, and just the overall subtle romantic tension about your pair tipped off pretty much everyone.
Though Beidou didn’t want to pry into the love lives of her crew, she’d sometimes catch glimpses of you and Kazuha chatting up in the crow’s nest of the ship and noted that the way you smiled at each other was endearing. Otherwise, she paid little attention to it, thinking it was only a matter of time until one of you confessed and you guys became an official couple.
However, that time never came. The two of you pussyfooted around the topic of laying bare your feelings, and everyone at The Crux was getting a little annoyed that you were stuck in the pining phase. There was a limit to how long Beidou could tolerate watching you give each other pining glances without snapping and telling you two to get together already.
One time when you were out on an errand, Beidou and her crew invited Kazuha for a drink. The friendly and cheerful atmosphere prompted some members to share their life stories, and the topic breached romance. Someone asked Kazuha why he hadn’t confessed to you yet, and the drunken ronin answered that he treasured your friendship and didn’t want to jeopardize it in case you didn’t feel the same way.
Beidou could only scoff at his excuse. It was so obvious that you liked him back, and since when was Kazuha such a coward? He could go up against the Raiden Shogun’s deadly Musou no Hitotachi, but had his tail between his legs at the prospect of admitting he loved you to your face? Preposterous! Moreover, she had to tell her crew to settle down because they were creating a spectacle out of your crushes on each other and making bets on which one of you would confess first (she betted on you).
If Kazuha was too much of a coward, Beidou thought, then maybe you’d be braver.
That same evening, she happened to find you alone in your cabin and took the opportunity to bring up the issue of your longtime crush on Kazuha. Though she was no expert on romance, Beidou wanted to help you. She got you to open up and confide in her, patiently listening while you expressed your fears about confessing to Kazuha. You also didn’t want to ruin the friendship you had with him, so Beidou stated outright that he returned your feelings. If you didn’t believe her, then see for yourself.
With that, she pried open a window in the cabin. Over the gentle lapping of the waves, you heard the crew’s laughter up on the deck, and the faint sound of Kazuha’s familiar voice. It was a little difficult to hear what he was saying over the crew’s chatter, and his speech was slightly slurred, but you made out a few words. He frequently spoke your name while reciting a few clumsy haikus. But they weren’t just any random poems about the sea or sky—they were love haikus.
Beidou patted your shoulder and told you to have courage instead of wasting your life wondering about what-ifs and regretting not doing anything.
Over the following days, Beidou sent you and Kazuha out on joint errands in Liyue Harbour. The errands themselves weren’t all that important, but they served as good excuses to give you two some alone time. Kazuha was no fool and quickly deduced that Beidou was setting you two up on purpose, but he wasn’t about to turn down an opportunity to spend more time with you.
Beidou hoped something would finally change by the time you returned, and sure enough, when she spotted you and Kazuha walking back to the ship, she smiled. The two of you were holding hands and smiling warmly at each other, a good sign that your once-suppressed feelings were now in the open. Naturally, the rest of the crew noticed the change as well and grew excited when you confirmed that you and Kazuha were now in a romantic relationship.
That night, they brought out the good wine and food to congratulate you and Kazuha on finally getting together. Most of the Crux’s crew joined on the festivities, with some members being nosy and asking you for details on how it happened and who confessed first.
When you admitted to confessing first, Beidou smugly accepted her winnings and took a big swig of her drink before yelling out a cheer. Her crew followed suit in toasting and cheering much to your and Kazuha’s embarrassment, but it was all in good fun. Beidou made sure to make it up to you by distracting the crew with a drinking game and sending you a wink as she allowed you and Kazuha to make a quiet escape from the party. The Crux gang would have plenty of time to tease you in the future—for now, you and Kazuha deserved to enjoy this newfound relationship without others poking their noses where they don’t belong. Beidou would make sure of it.
🟩 Kinich
Kinich’s relationship with you perplexed K’uhul Ajaw. The Almighty Dragonlord couldn’t pinpoint when it happened, but something between you two changed. Recently, Kinich had been giving you discounts whenever you asked for his help, and sometimes even did things for you for free. Kinich the Malipo giving someone special treatment? Unheard of! And on top of all that, his servant had been visiting you more frequently during downtime, and there was also that strange glint in Kinich’s eyes whenever he looked at you, something akin to endearment—
Oh.
Kinich liked you.
Oh, this was going to be good!
Ajaw’s diabolical nature wouldn’t let him keep Kinich’s feelings for you a secret. The next time you came to hang out with their duo, the saurian waved his little stubby arms and ran his mouth as soon as you were within earshot. “Hey, human! Our lowly servant has developed romantic feelings for you like some sort of prepubescent schoolboy! Isn’t that a riot?” and cackled, thinking Kinich would be thoroughly humiliated and put in his place.
To Ajaw’s dismay, instead of looking disgusted by the news, you appeared… hopeful? A tad surprised by his outburst, but was that hope shining in your eyes? To Ajaw’s even greater dismay, Kinich lacked any sort of outward reaction to having his crush on you vocalized so brazenly. Instead, the saurian hunter told you to ignore Ajaw’s nonsensical words in his usual calm manner, before smacking the pixelated menace away for a timeout. Right before he got locked away, Ajaw managed to catch a glimpse of disappointment in your eyes when Kinich brushed the situation aside as if it were nothing.
That day, K’uhul Ajaw realized that Kinich’s feelings were not one-sided like he originally thought. You liked Kinich too. The mere thought of you two acting all lovey-dovey with each other was sickening, but the saurian figured poking fun at you and Kinich would be a good source of entertainment.
After that day, Ajaw became even more insufferable. Every chance he got, he’d swoop in with a taunting remark and make fun either you, Kinich, or both.
One time while accompanying Kinich through a dense forest, you slipped on a wet tree root and were sent falling towards the ground. However, Kinich swiftly caught you and pulled you to his chest to help stabilize you. Ajaw had a field day laughing and crowing about how scandalous you were for practically throwing yourself at Kinich like that. Were you that desperate to be in his arms? Disgusting!
The saurian also used every opportunity he could find to reveal all of Kinich’s secrets to you. Did you know Kinich gave you special treatment? No? Are you blind?! Can’t you tell he does stuff for you for free? Why do you think he brings you game and wild berries free of charge every once in a while--to show off how good he is at hunting?! Have you at least noticed Kinich smiled more and acted softer towards you, or are you really that blind? He doesn’t treat anyone else that way, you know! …And so on and so forth, though most of his attempts to out Kinich are interrupted by the man himself locking Ajaw away before the dragon reveals too much.
As fun as it was to watch your pair’s awkward attempts at showing signs of affection for each other, Ajaw eventually grew frustrated with standing witness to the mutual pining that never progressed anywhere. It made the little saurian’s blood boil with annoyance.
Whenever he and Kinich were alone, Ajaw would complain that the hunter should stop being a dimwit and a coward and just confess to you already! How could he not see that you obviously liked him back?! Seriously, how bad was his luck to end up with such an imbecile for a servant?!
Kinich coolly rejected Ajaw’s insistence for confessing his feelings. It was not in his nature to recklessly rush into the unknown—he needed to carefully analyze and weigh his options before coming to a sound decision. As such, his relationship with you was not to be rushed. This didn’t sit well with Ajaw, but no matter what he said, Kinich stubbornly refused to listen.
The Dragonlord’s patience reached a breaking point during one fateful day. It was getting dark, and Kinich had offered to escort you home. Once you were safely at your doorstep, you made the bold move of kissing Kinich’s cheek in thanks. For a split moment, Ajaw swore there was palpable romantic tension between you as your and Kinich’s eyes met (gross). Kinich glanced at your lips, looking as if he wanted to lean in and kiss you (doubly gross) and Ajaw prepared himself to make disgusted gagging noises, except… nothing happened. With a seldom seen blush on his cheeks, Kinich awkwardly cleared his throat and bid you goodnight, preparing to leave.
Ajaw exploded.
“This is painful to watch! You two were clearly made for each other—both equally cowardly and blind to each other’s feelings! Just admit you like each other already; you’re not fooling anyone! Kinich, you cowardly, brainless, insufferable insect—just lean in for that kiss, you obviously want to! And you! Stop waffling and just spit out that you like Kinich already! Agh, watching you two is torture! What did the great K’uhul Ajaw do to deserve this fate?!” he yelled, turning red in the face.
Kinich promptly locked Ajaw away, for which the saurian would later chew him out once he was free, but not before interrogating you and the hunter about whether you finally confessed. Once Kinich revealed that yes, you had talked it out and admitted your mutual feelings for each other and were now in a relationship, Ajaw could finally feel some sense of peace regarding the situation.
Feeling proud of his contributions, Ajaw puffed out his chest and told you and Kinich to pucker up and kiss his feet in worship, for only with the help of the Almighty Dragonlord K’uhul Ajaw has your relationship progressed instead of stagnating like swamp water.
Though the saurian relic continued to be an annoyance, even Kinich had to admit that Ajaw played a part in getting you together. Though not in the form of worship or foot kissing, Kinich did repay the favor by procuring some quenepa berries and other fruits that Ajaw liked, hosting a small feast as a thank you. Though Ajaw complained about being scammed, the snacks did the trick of improving his mood and keeping him occupied while you and Kinich had some precious time to yourselves.
🦇 Ororon
Ever since you and Ororon were children, Citlali observed that the two of you got along well. So well, in fact, that Ororon had developed a little crush on you. He would pluck flowers from a nearby meadow to give you, follow you around like a loyal puppy, and one time, Ororon told Citlali that he hoped to marry you one day.
Citlali couldn’t help but find Ororon’s crush on you adorable, and a part of her anticipated the day when you both grew up and got married. She had no doubt you would make the sweetest couple among the Masters of the Night-Wind.
Ororon’s attraction to you persisted into adulthood. At that point, Citlali could no longer call it a cute little crush— “Love” was a more apt description for how Ororon felt towards you, even if he tried to hide the depth of his attachment to you. He was content to stay as just your friend and not risk ruining the close bond you had in case you didn’t return his feelings. Citlali was a little frustrated that Ororon continued to pine for you without doing anything about it, but she knew better than to force the stubborn boy to do something he didn’t want to. If you were both happy with the way things were, then why change them?
However, during one of her rare trips to the market for some divination supplies, Citlali overheard a conversation between two tribespeople. The topic of conversation was about love, and one of the men bashfully admitted that he thought you were pretty and that he hoped to ask you out on a date soon. This news washed over Citlali like a bucket of cold water as worry seized her heart.
This wasn’t the first time others had expressed romantic interest in you. After all, you’ve always had a bit of a reputation among the Masters of the Night-Wind for being attractive, so it wasn’t surprising others had an eye on you. However, now that you were an independent adult, it wouldn’t be strange for you to look for a partner to settle down with, right? Knowing Ororon, the dimwit wouldn’t ever think to confess, and what if someone else confessed before he did and stole your heart?
Citlali didn’t want to force you to choose Ororon, but she didn’t want things to end without her beloved grandson at least taking a shot at winning you over. The last thing she wanted was for Ororon to be left heartbroken and disappointed all because he let the chance to be with you slip from his fingers.
With these troubled thoughts, Citlali sought out Ororon and announced that he needed to stop dawdling and actively pursue you unless he wanted to watch your heart get stolen by somebody else. Citlali’s sudden proclamation confused Ororon, so she explained that he’s not the only one who is in love with you and that there’s a risk of you choosing someone else to spend your life with.
As she expected, Ororon stubbornly refused to go along with her urging, saying that who you wanted to end up with was your choice and he would respect it. Though he said that, Citlali could see it on Ororon’s face that the mere thought of you falling for someone else hurt him, and she couldn’t help but feel bad for her grandson.
After much convincing and reassurance, Citlali got Ororon to agree to court you and promised to come up with a plan to help him in this endeavour. There was, however, one major problem: how were two socially awkward outcasts supposed to win someone’s heart? Having never been courted herself, Citlali had no past experiences to draw from when designing her plan, but it shouldn’t be too hard, right? She’d read a lot of romance novels imported from Inazuma, so maybe if she got Ororon to do some of the same things the male leads did, then it would curry your favour? Regardless, it was worth a shot.
The plan was for Ororon to prove his worth as a suitable partner by giving you gifts, compliments, and always being there for you no matter what it was. In Ororon’s opinion, he was already doing all of these things for you as a friend, but Citlali insisted that his actions needed to be infused with romance to distinguish them from gestures of friendship. Her grandson was still reluctant to actively court you, but he had promised to try and try he did. Except, his approach subverted Citlali’s expectations.
When it came to giving gifts, instead of presenting jewellery, woven scrolls, or useful gadgets, the young man gifted you game he had caught in the wild and the best selection of produce from his garden. Citlali could only facepalm when Ororon told her which gifts he planned to give you, but she also knew he put genuine thought into them. Ororon handpicked the nicest veggies he could find in his garden and personally delivered them to your doorstep instead of sending Ifa like he normally would. Citlali told him that giving gifts in person held more meaning, and Ororon appeared to have taken her words to heart.
Ororon also gifted you flowers much like he did when you were little. However, this time he didn’t give you flowers plucked from the wild. Instead, he gifted you potted plants that he had also grown in his garden. “They will live and look pretty for longer,” he told you, then received a flick to the forehead once Citlali found out what he did.
His compliments were no better. Saying things like his vegetables grew better whenever you visited his home and spoke to his plants or your presence being calming for the aphids, was the best Ororon could do. Citlali admonished him for these strange compliments, but to Ororon, that was the highest praise anyone could receive. After all, you were an amazing person, and even his plants and aphids sensed it.
Ororon’s courtship was unconventional to say the least, and granny Itztli worried whether her grandson made a favorable impression on you. To help improve Ororon’s image in your eyes, Citlali sought you out more often to put in a good word for her grandson and get you to see him as a man. She highlighted Ororon’s good points to you, commenting how Ororon is a bit peculiar, but he’s also kind, resourceful, accepting, gentle, and so much more. A truly good kid. He would make an excellent romantic partner, wouldn’t you agree?
Her pushiness flustered you, but it also allowed Citlali to gauge how you felt about Ororon, and she had to contain her excitement when she pieced together that you loved him back. In her giddiness, she urged Ororon to confess.
When the day of the confession came, Citlali hid among some trees while keeping an eye on you and Ororon. She didn’t intent to spy, but the anxiety over how the confession would go made her antsy and she couldn’t sit still at home. She watched as Ororon offered you a basket of his finest produce and finally professed his love. The confession came out awkward because he tried to recite what he practiced with Citlali a few days prior, and he seemed to realize this because Ororon then took your hand and placed it against his chest. Using his own words this time, Ororon explained that he genuinely did love you, and the racing of his heart should be proof enough that you were more than just a friend in his eyes. However, it was alright if you didn’t feel the same way about him.
Citlali had to clamp her hands over her mouth to hold back from squealing in giddiness as she watched you reciprocate Ororon’s feelings. She would later apologize for spying since she knew it was wrong, but it filled her with joy to witness the blossoming of love between you. In some ways, this was better than any romance novel she had read in all her years of living, and it warmed her heart to see you both so happy.
Even if it was a childhood fantasy, perhaps Ororon’s wish of marrying you was not that far off now? Citlali certainly hoped so.
☂️ Wanderer
Nahida was no expert on romance, but she had observed enough couples during her 500-year-long imprisonment to know what romantic attraction looked like. The strange air surrounding you and Wanderer must have been that, she speculated, as she watched Wanderer hand you a box of your favorite foods with the flimsy excuse of having made too much. For your part, you seemed genuinely touched by the gesture despite Wanderer’s grumbling, much to Nahida’s delight. Wanderer’s prickly personality pushed some people away, but not you. You stayed by his side and gave him the companionship he needed, helping Wanderer open up and heal from his trauma.
It was clear you deeply cared for the young man, and a little peek into your mind confirmed to Nahida that yes, you did love him romantically. She couldn’t read Wanderer’s mind since he blocked all her attempts to do so, but she didn’t need mindreading to conclude that he loved you too.
When she next spoke with Wanderer, she carefully asked if he loved you. Wanderer’s response was a gruff “No” and “Stop asking”, however Nahida could tell he wasn’t being honest with his feelings. If he didn’t love you, then why did he treat you differently compared to everyone else? His manner of speech is gentler when with you, and despite all his grumbling he still complies with all your requests no matter how irritating he may find them. Not to mention, he spends most of his free time in your company, goes out of his way to make you little gifts and cook your favorite dishes. Surely all these behaviours were proof that you were someone special to him?
Being effectively cornered, the puppet had no choice except to come clean about his hidden feelings. With scowl and a blush on his cheeks, Wanderer reluctantly admitted that yes, he likes you, but it was none of Nahida’s business and she’d better stay out of it.
Despite Wanderer’s warning, the Dendro Archon wanted to help get you together. She felt confident that if both of you put in a little effort, a beautiful romance could blossom between you. Still, she didn’t want to outright reveal your feelings for each other. She believed that each of you should relay these intimate feelings yourselves. All Nahida would do is give you a gentle nudge in the right direction.
To help her with this task, Nahida sought help from a few Aranara and asked them to keep an eye on you and Wanderer and report any meaningful details that could help her bring you together. Through her little helpers, Nahida learned the full extent of Wanderer’s affections for you, and she couldn’t help but smile at how sweet he was, especially when it came to you.
Using this acquired knowledge, the Dendro Archon frequently brought up Wanderer in your conversations with her to explain the thoughtfulness behind some of his gifts and words. For as frank as he usually was with people, Wanderer was more close-lipped about the true extent of his feelings, so Nahida had some work cut out for her in making you realize how much he truly cared about you.
For example, the next time Wanderer gave you your favorite food with the excuse that he’d made too much, Nahida revealed to you that he actually spent several days perfecting the recipe before finally giving the dish to you.
That hand-made bracelet he gifted you, saying he got it for free during an arts and crafts event he visited? Wanderer actually made it himself during that event and used beads of your favorite colors. The Aranara watched him spend a lot of time crafting that bracelet with the greatest care, but Nahida left that part out.
In addition, she would subtly drop hints for you to invite Wanderer to hang out more often. For example, the Zubayr Theater was hosting a play and Nahida heard there was a discount if you bought two tickets. Why don’t you go and invite Wanderer to come with you?
As for Wanderer, she discreetly told him that you once mentioned wanting to try out a new drink at Puspa Cafe but had nobody to go with, so why not be a good friend and take you there himself? Wanderer initially objected, but ultimately caved in and invited you to the Café while commenting that a certain annoying sprout said you wanted to try a new drink there, though deep down he glad for the opportunity to spend more time with you. Nahida could tell by the way Wanderer went out of his way to spoil you that day, buying you anything you wanted and keeping you company until the sun set.
Little by little, Nahida softened Wanderer towards the possibility of being in a romantic relationship with you, and helped you gather the courage to confess. Wanderer was unlikely to ever confess first, so the responsibility rested on your shoulders. She could tell you were nervous about laying bare your feelings, but she reassured you that things would go well. You only needed to take that leap of faith.
When you finally confessed, Nahida and the Aranara secretly observed the scene from behind a nearby corner, curious to see how things would go while also quietly cheering you on (not that you knew). When a flustered Wanderer accepted your confession, Nahida was overjoyed. She had fun guiding both of you towards this moment, but the satisfaction of knowing you could finally be together the way you always wished was rewarding in its own way. Even when Wanderer later confronted her about spying on you during your confession and scolded her for it, the little Archon’s happiness didn’t wane. She looked forward to seeing what your newfound relationship would blossom into, and had no doubt it would be something beautiful and pure, just like your love for each other.
👁️‍🗨️ Cyno
It was no secret to Tighnari that you and Cyno liked each other. He had known about your mutual crushes as far back as your student days at the Akademiya where you first met. You became fast friends with him and Cyno, but Tighnari couldn’t help but think Cyno was a bit more special to you than you let on. After all, you were one of the few who wasn’t intimidated by Cyno’s perpetual stern facial expressions and actively sought him out, and who actually laughed at his lame jokes.
Tighnari also knew about Cyno’s crush on you since his friend confided about it to him. Not that Cyno needed to say anything because Tighnari could see his attraction to you clear as day. Cyno’s eyes lit up whenever he saw you in the distance, he tried to act “cooler” in your presence in an attempt to impress you, and Tighnari swore that if Cyno had a tail, it would have wagged like a dog’s every time you laughed at his jokes.
Though he knew about your mutual romantic attraction to each other, Tighnari didn’t want to stick his nose into your love lives. He figured you guys would resolve everything yourselves in due time.
However, nothing changed even after you guys graduated. Your group remained close friends and saw each other regularly, but Tighnari was starting to lose his patience with how you and Cyno hopelessly pined for each other. He had already lost count of the number of times each of you came to him for advice on how to win the other over.
Cyno asked Tighnari’s opinion on a lot of things: Would you like his newest joke? Would you be okay with Cyno volunteering to be your bodyguard for your upcoming desert excursion? Which of his limited edition TCG cards best represented you? Cyno wanted to express how much you meant to him by giving you a card that reminded him of you.
You were no better. Tighnari had lost count of the number of times you approached him with questions about Cyno’s work schedule. Your excuse was that you wanted to plan hangouts with him, Collei, and Cyno during their days off, but Tighnari knew there was another reason why you asked about Cyno’s schedule in particular. He had half a mind to tell you to ask Cyno yourself because it was obvious that you just wanted to spend more time with the General Mahamatra. You also pestered Tighnari with questions about Cyno’s TCG deck. Much like his friend, you wanted to express your appreciation for Cyno by giving him cards he didn’t have yet.
Seriously, you two were a match made in heaven…
Tighnari would have found your mutual crushes on each other endearing, if only he wasn’t stuck being the middleman. As it stood, Tighnari wanted nothing more than to throttle both of you for pussyfooting around your feelings and getting him caught up in being your messenger. He was on the brink of snapping and sitting you both down to explain that your feelings were mutual, so just hurry up and get together already.
That’s why the next time Cyno approached him with another question about you, Tighnari took the opportunity to convince his friend to confess. He and Collei assured Cyno that you liked him a lot, and urged him to tell you his feelings. Cyno was hesitant but did seem to want some closure about whether you liked him back or not, so Tighnari gave him an incentive. How about the next time he played TCG with you, you guys set some stakes? Why not have a rule that the loser must tell the winner a secret? If Cyno lost, he would have to confess.
Cyno wasn’t fond of the idea initially, but agreed after some contemplation, acknowledging that this method would be effective in giving him that necessary push. Still, Tighnari could tell Cyno was nervous about confessing, so he volunteered to come along as moral support, much to Cyno’s gratitude.
That was how Tighnari and Collei found themselves at Puspa Cafe, sitting a few tables away from you and Cyno, hidden from your line of sight. Tighnari tutored Collei while Cyno played that fateful round of TCG against you, but the Forest Ranger kept a close eye on his friend. Though he didn’t want to get too invested in Cyno’s love life, even he couldn’t help but grow anxious as he watched the TCG match end with Cyno’s loss.
Although Tighnari was too far away to hear what Cyno was saying, he could tell the moment of confession had come. Now, the ball was in your court.
You looked stunned by whatever Cyno said, but soon smiled and said something that made Cyno mirror the happy expression on your face and reach out to hold your hand. Though he couldn’t hear, Tighnari knew you had reciprocated his feelings. Even Collei quietly fawned over how cute you both looked. It had been a long journey, but he was truly happy for his friend. Out of everyone, Cyno was happiest with you, and Tighnari hoped you would continue to make him happy for many years to come.
With everything ending well, Tighnari beckoned Collei and discreetly left the cafe before you or Cyno noticed. As happy as he was for you guys, he dreaded the possibility of Cyno coercing them into a TCG match. With how elated his friend must be right now, it was only a matter of time until Cyno called him and Collei over for a new game to celebrate you accepting his feelings. In Tighnari’s opinion, you guys deserved to have some proper time to yourselves to explore your feelings and new relationship without him and Collei serving as thirdwheels. That, and he just really didn’t want to sit through another hour of watching Cyno show off for you.
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misswynters · 1 month ago
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𓏲 ˖. ♡ Ekko as your bf
having the boy who shattered time as your bf
warnings. none, just all fluff (truly need it after act iii)
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How You Got Together.
• It started with a deep friendship. You were someone who always stuck by him through thick and thin, whether it was sneaking into Zaun’s alleys to watch him race or sitting on rooftops together while he talked about his plans to make Zaun a better place.
• Ekko didn’t realize his feelings right away, but every time he saw you cheering him on or patching up his wounds after another risky stunt, something in his chest warmed.
• One day, during a quiet moment after a long day of running with the Firelights, he blurted it out. “You know, you’re the only person who keeps me sane around here. I think I’m in love with you.”
• You were stunned for a second, but when you smiled and told him you felt the same way, he grinned so wide his face hurt. “Guess we’re stuck with each other, huh, Firefly?”
Nicknames He Gives You.
• Firefly — His favorite. You’re his little spark of light in Zaun’s darkness.
• Shorty/Tallie — Depending on your height, he’ll playfully tease you about it.
• Gearhead — If you have any interest in tinkering or helping him fix things, this becomes a fond nickname.
• Starling — For when he’s feeling extra soft and poetic.
• Babe — When he’s feeling casual or playful.
Love Languages.
• Acts of Service: Ekko loves taking care of you in small, thoughtful ways: tinkering with gadgets to make your life easier, fixing anything you need, or walking you home to make sure you’re safe.
• Physical Touch: He’s touch-starved, and it shows. He thrives on hand-holding, cuddling, and casual touches like ruffling your hair or resting his hand on your knee during meetings.
• Quality Time: Ekko values the moments when it’s just the two of you. Whether you’re hanging out in the hideout or watching the stars from the rooftops, he treasures your company.
How He Shows Affection.
• He has this way of looking at you like you’re his entire world, especially when you’re laughing or talking about something you’re passionate about.
• He’s a sucker for forehead kisses: quick, soft, and full of love.
• Ekko likes to surprise you with little gifts he makes himself, like a glowing trinket to wear or a gadget that makes your life easier.
• When he’s feeling especially bold, he’ll pull you close by the waist and murmur something sweet in your ear just to see you blush.
What He’s Like in a Relationship.
• He’s fiercely loyal and protective, always making sure you’re safe and cared for.
• Ekko is a mix of playful and serious. he’ll joke around to make you laugh, but when it comes to your happiness or well-being, he’s all locked in.
• He listens to you like it’s the most important thing in the world, always giving you his full attention. He’s like completely mesmerized with the way you speak to him. like it could literally be you just yapping about the stupidest thing and you will still have his full attention. Ekko would be all smiley and smitten he just loves hearing you talk about your interests.
Dates with Him.
• Rooftop stargazing is one of his favorites. He’ll bring a blanket and snacks, and you’ll spend hours lying side by side, talking about anything and everything.
• Late-night walks through Zaun, where he shows you hidden spots he loves, like graffiti walls he painted or quiet corners with the best views of the Undercity lights.
• He loves taking you everywhere with him. Anywhere, that would allow him to proudly show you off to his crew.
• Sometimes, dates are simple. Fixing things together, cooking (well, attempting to), or dancing to music in the hideout.
• Taking you to do inventions. Whether it’s with heimerdinger or not he will not mind having you around while he does his nerdy stuff. Encourages you while you try to do something while failing miserably.
What He Loves About You the Most.
• Your unwavering support. He’s always carrying the weight of Zaun’s struggles, and you’re the one person who makes him feel like it’s okay to lean on someone else for a while.
• Your laughter. It’s his favorite sound, and he’ll do anything to hear it.
• Your determination. Whether you’re helping him with the Firelights or pursuing your own goals, he admires your drive and tenacity.
• The way you care for others. It reminds him of why he fights so hard to protect Zaun.
Arguments with Him.
• Ekko HATES arguing, especially with you. He’ll try to keep his cool, but sometimes his frustration slips out.
• He’s quick to apologize if he’s in the wrong. He doesn’t like going to bed angry, so he’ll do whatever it takes to make things right before the night ends.
• If you’re upset, he’ll give you space if you need it, but he’ll always check in to make sure you’re okay. “Look, I’m sorry. I just… I hate fighting with you. Can we talk about this?”
• Arguments never last long because both of you care too much to stay mad.
Little Things He Does for You.
• He always checks in on you, whether it’s through quick messages or showing up to see you in person.
• He’ll steal your snacks but always makes sure to bring extras so you don’t actually lose out.
• Ekko loves playing with your hair, whether it’s braiding it, twirling it around his finger, or just running his hands through it absentmindedly.
• When you’re stressed, he’ll pull you into a hug and whisper, “You got this, Firefly. I believe in you.”
• If he notices you shivering, he’ll shrug off his jacket and wrap it around you without a second thought.
Moments That Make Him Soft.
• When you fall asleep on his shoulder after a long day. He’ll sit perfectly still so he doesn’t wake you, his heart melting at how peaceful you look.
• The way you light up when you see him, like he’s the only person in the world that matters.
• When you cheer him on during one of his missions. Your belief in him gives him strength like nothing else.
• Watching you interact with Scraps or other animals. He loves seeing your gentle, caring side.
Overall in my opinion.
Ekko as your boyfriend is a mix of excitement, warmth, and unwavering devotion. He’s someone who will always have your back, someone who will fight for you and with you, and someone who will treasure every moment you spend together. With him, life in Zaun feels a little brighter, a little safer, and a whole lot more full of love.
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note. just my opinion :3
taglist. @diffusebread @xxblairslairxx @annybah @niredsw @stqrlxght @kriss-w @marilovz @blkmystery @multiverse-fandoms-2001 @turquoizxe @mishellii @kor-0suu @feelya @theamazingmilli @multim00n @m00nd0v3 @sodavrr @maialublmere @radtragedyarcade @spiderhook @night-fall-moon
banner. @anitalenia
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airbenderedacted · 3 days ago
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WOY's writing team sat together and collaborated on ideas for episodes to make. Plus, the whole main story arc, aka The Dominator Arc, had been mapped out by Craig McCracken before they even got working on the individual S2 episodes and how they'd go down. Like you said, the show makes it super clear that Dominator is completely irredeemable... which is why never in a million years would Craig have approved the creation of an episode that would serve to plant the seeds for her redemption. The Night Out did not exist for that purpose. It shows us that she's lonely, which informs us of the reason why she targets the mains so methodically and keeps coming back to torment them again and again instead of just killing them outright whenever she has the chance. Her loneliness and need for socialization is what fuels her M.O. for evildoing. It doesn't make her sympathetic (far from it because her loneliness is self-infliced), it just arguably makes her even more of a sadist! She keeps people around just to play around with ways to break them further than she already has or has already attempted.
The Night Out is the first time we really get to see this clearly laid out in front of us. The way the episode ends also makes it crystal clear that her awfulness is what CAUSES her loneliness. Sylvia's friendship doesn't make her reconsider being a bad guy, doesn't dig up some iota of good in her that makes her open up to a change of heart. She just isn't good in the depths of her heart; she's an asshole who LIKES being an asshole and that's what makes her first and only friendship fall apart. The destroyer is alone because destroying everything you ever come across, including people and every relationship you could ever have, naturally leaves you like that. Alone.
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And the heartfelt moment she has on the rooftops with Sylvia before they get caught by those biker goons? It is signficant and it does look like it makes her open to changing her ways since she does something in that scene that contrasts her typical behavior pretty strongly: she looks at the gorgeous view of the planets before her and actually appreciates them. Or, well, she more or less hesitantly agrees with Sylvia's appreciation of it being an incredible sight. But does that mean that there's something of a good person deep down inside of her? Her, the person whose greatest passion in life is demolishing the hopes and homes of every innocent life (and then sometimes also taking those innocent lives) she comes across? No! All that scene tells us is that she has the capacity to appreciate something other than death and destruction. It doesn't really imply that she could come to appreciate other things more than her passion for her evildoing, and the scene that comes right after it arguably tells us that she could never! At the very best, it conveys that the capacity to change is within her, but that's true of any well-written character because a well-written charcter will feel alive, and anything that's alive IS capable of change. The most important thing we're meant to take away from that scene on the rooftops is that it shows us that she could be different, even if only the slightest bit different, so that the rest of the episode (and the rest of the entire season) can really drive home that she decidedly WON'T.
Lord Dominator was not out of character in The Night Out, the crew has stated before that it's an important episode for fleshing out her character, nor did The Night Out deviate from the planned story arc for S2.
So in one Wander Over Yonder episode, it attempted to redeem Lord Dominator. Now if you watched the show, you know why that's a horrible idea. While I love Lord Dominator, she should not be redeemed. Since she said that she outright only destroys planets and commits genocide for fun, and has no interest in being redeemed in her villian song "I'm the bad guy" (Banger song btw) and then I found out that the episode was written by Nate Stevenson and I immediately though "Oh, yeah, that makes sense." Since he is obsessed with redeeming villians, even though Lord Dominator has no sad backstory and literally only does these things for fun. She didn't get redeemed, THANK GOD! But it was certainly meant to plant the seeds for her redemption, but she didn't actually get redeemed
#dominator can change but she wouldn't change from being a bad person. she wouldn't ever.#Wander can definitely change from what he is (let's look back on The Bad Guy) and we know very well that he never ACTUALLY would#The Night Out establishes this for Lord Dominator.#The finale then does so again.#also again i apologize profusely if i'm being massively annoying i just care a lot about misinfo when it comes to woy / dom's writing augh#meant to go to sleep but this triggered a neuron activation and now it's 4am help girl !#anyway if the original post were about how nate would probably redeem lord dominator-#-if he were the brains behind the entirety of the dominator arc AND how that would SUCK then i would be agreeing so so so fucking hard YEAH#trust me the way he wrote catra & other fucked up villainesses he's mused gave me One Fear when it comes to the thought of how he would-#-handle the lava lesbian if he were to call the shots. i hope to never see that timeline bc i fear he definitely would. do that.;#but he did not lay any groundwork for anything like that when he wrote the night out. him having his hcs for things doesn't warp canon#he wrote what he needed to write and i think he wrote it well!#again i cannot stress enough that the creation of each ep of woy was massively collaborative#mr mccracken mapped out every major story beat. sure lots of things change as they cook up the eps in detail#but still it's him calling all the major shots#look at photos of each crew that helps bring an episode to fruition & you will see craig there helping every step of the process#man was everywhere#and the night out was a major episode for a literal main character. we were going to get the episode with or without nate.#nate was picked out as the best person to get er done (andyeahithelpedthathebeggedbutstillkshfkjsdhfs)#and i already said this in my other rb but he was not a rogue agent making dom gay either.#he shared his take and craig said hell yeah. put everything together and that's how we got TNO#heck craig even designed her gayass lil outfit for the episode
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aliteralsemicolon · 7 months ago
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We can't be friends, but I'd like to just pretend
Part 1 of We can't be friends (wait for your love) | See part 2 | See part 3
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You and Spencer have convinced yourselves that you’re only meant to be friends despite the strong tension between you two. It only seems to intensify the longer you ignore it, eventually reaching its boiling point and forcing changes in the friendship.
Spencer Reid X Fem! Reader
(but no mentions of pronouns in this so it can be read as gn)
DISCLAIMER This story is SFW but it’s intended for mature audiences only. You are responsible for the content you consume. Make sure to read all necessary warnings. Please remember this is a work of fiction; if you don’t like it, don’t read.
WARNING Mentions of: Indirect peer pressure, alcohol/drinking/being drunk, very slight implicated SA (it doesn’t happen), serial killer, kidnapping, torture, murder, stalking, and threats. It’s all barely there and doesn’t really matter to the story tbh. Proceed at your own risk.
Word count: 9.3K See notes at end for authors note & spoilers.
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Being in love is hard. Being in love with your best friend is harder. It’s a merciless form of torture really, devoting yourself entirely to the person you hold dearest to your heart, but they aren’t yours. It was almost masochistic, standing by to serve him in whatever way you thought he needed. Luckily, you weren’t a masochist. 
Not entirely, at least. 
You were there for him when he needed, offering whatever you had to give, but there were parts of you that you kept guarded. To protect yourself, but more importantly, to protect Spencer. It wasn’t uncommon for you to hear that you were ‘too much’ from passing lovers in your life. A certain level of detachment was necessary to ensure the safety of Spencer’s friendship. He was the most important person in your life. 
Maybe it was the multitude of degrees as a result of his intelligence. He never let you feel stupid or any less intelligent. 
Maybe it was the way his whole body lit up when he shared information he’d stored in that beautiful mind.
Maybe it was the charm in how goofily he carried himself. The way his hands would flail around when he spoke to keep up with the speed his brain moved at. 
Or maybe it was how he made you feel seen. 
How he always knew what to say, what to do. How he remembered little details about you, like how you preferred the window seat on the jet. And how he went out of his way to accommodate the details, like giving up the window seat just so you could sit in it. He was an unusually thoughtful man, with everybody he knew. 
That’s something you had to remind yourself of often. 
He’s like that with everybody. He has an eidetic memory, of course he remembers the little details. 
If only you knew how wrong you were. Spencer was a thoughtful man, there was no doubt about that. Sure he was gifted with an arguably incomparable memory, but unlike all the things he had no choice in remembering, he chose to remember the little details about you. To him you were the closest thing to a real life angel. 
It was the way you were the only person he’d ever met, willing to sit there and listen to him talk for hours. You’d go out of your way to show interest in the things he’d share, even if you didn’t actually have any interest in it.
The way he could swear he saw stars in your eyes whenever he stole an opportunity to stare into them. They would burn brighter if accompanied with the sweet sound of your laughter. 
He felt compelled to accommodate you. Especially when you light up the way you do from such minuscule actions on his part. Spencer loved being the person to bring out your smile, taking any excuse to try and coax one out of you. Even if he’d slightly inconvenience himself at times. His convenience mattered little to him because he knew how much you did for him too. 
Every morning before work you’d make the trip to his favourite coffee shop, getting him scones and coffee exactly to his liking because you knew he had a tendency to skip breakfast. His favourite coffee shop was a fifteen minute drive from your apartment and an extra twenty from Headquarters. You went out of your way to deliver it to him, even reheating the coffee yourself before handing it over. 
Spencer wasn’t alone in recognising your generosity. The entire sixth floor had noticed how both of you subconsciously performed acts of service for each other, even if nobody had brought it up to your faces. 
“I know that look.” Rossi remarks, turning his head towards his raven haired co-worker, eyes on you and Spencer.
“Yea..I just wonder if they know.” Emily mirrors his actions as she gives her own comment on the sight just a few feet in front of her. 
Neither of you realise you have spectators observing your conversation. You’re in your own little bubble at Spencer’s desk, the resident genius seated comfortably with his gaze on you as he speaks. Your focus is entirely on the man across from you, leaning in slightly, perched on the wooden surface. 
“Because stomach acid in the human body is typically 1-2 on the PH scale, it’s capable of dissolving metals such as certain types of stainless steels. Razors for example! The Gastrointestinal Endoscopy journal shared that scientists found that the thickened back of a single-edged blade dissolved just two hours of immersion in stomach acid!” His voice went up a pitch as he spoke and you couldn’t help but smile.
“So theoretically, an unsub could use a razor blade as a murder weapon and potentially eat it to dispose of it?” It was a relatively dumb question, but you just wanted to keep him talking. 
“Well, it’s possible, but realistically I don’t think a razor blade-” 
“Sorry to interrupt my younglings,” A colourful Garcia appears in your bubble and cuts Spencer off, “but I am here to let you know that the team will be going out for drinks, on Rossi, tonight! No exceptions!!”
When your head swivels to Garcia, you also notice the gawking pair not far behind her, shuffling off when they realise they’ve been caught staring. 
“I’ll come, but I won’t be drinking.” Spencer says with an awkward smile. They shift their sights on you for your response. 
“Sorry guys…I already have plans for tonight.” You purse your lips together apologetically. 
“What no! No, no, no! You know how rare these nights can be!” Garcia frowns and grabs your shoulders pleadingly.
“I knowwww…I’m sorry!!”
“Fine, fine, but at least share what’s keeping you busy tonight?” The blonde pokes.
You shift your eyes to Spencer, who’s just staring at you with a curious look and then back to Garcia. 
“Well I have a date-” You begin, but are interrupted by a whispered squeal.
Garcia begins a response, but stops herself when she spots a nonchalant Derek Morgan heading towards the elevators. “We will discuss this in detail during Saturday’s girls night. For now I will accept your excuse and remind you to dress your sexiest! Now excuse me while I go and intercept my sweet chocolate thunder.”
She grips you in a tight hug and scurries off after Morgan. The atmosphere shifts slightly, as you meet Spencer’s eyes awkwardly. 
“You have a date? Why didn’t you mention that” Spencer titters.
“I’m sorry, it just didn’t occur to me.” You try to lie, but Spencer’s expression gives away that he doesn’t believe you. “Okay, okay, I just didn’t wanna say anything because the last time I talked about one of my dates you got all weird and I didn’t want to upset you again.”
“Upset me? I was not upset.” He protests and folds his arms across his chest. 
“Okay what would you call it then?” 
“I wouldn’t call it anything.” 
“Oh really? So you’re not upset that I’m going on a date?”
“Nope. Not at all. I’m interested actually, tell me about him.”
You eye him carefully, trying to figure out where his head is at. Spencer has a tendency to get sassy when he feels defensive. 
“You’re interested? To hear about one of my dates?” You question with playful caution. 
“Yes. I’m always interested in things about you.” He spills. 
Your reaction to his words is immediate, a surprised jump in your features, but you manage to mask it almost just as fast. Spencer’s just as surprised as you. 
“I-I just mean- you know? Because yo-you’re my best friend.” He tries to play it off. 
There’s no way. 
You think to yourself. Spencer definitely didn’t mean it in that way. 
No he definitely didn’t. He just said so himself. You’re his best friend. Spencer Reid does not feel the same way about you.
It stings to admit to yourself, but it’s for the best. Spencer is a smart, handsome, wonderful man with so much to offer. You’re too much work, come with too much baggage, just too much.
“Yea, we’re best friends.” An affirmation more for yourself than him. 
A silence looms as you stare at each other stiffly. 
“Anyways, my date,” you decide not to linger on it for too long, “it’s with that guy I told you about, Nathan.”
“Nathan? Didn’t you go on a date with him last time?” A casual inquiry. 
“Yea!” You squeak enthusiastically, grateful that he had reverted back to his light-hearted self. 
This was something you deeply enjoyed about your friendship. The fact the two of you could flow back into casual conversation no matter what.
“So it’s a second date?”
“Yes! The first one went really well, so I thought why not agree to a second when he asked?”
“That’s good. I’m happy for you.” 
His approval should feel better than it does. For some reason, it makes you uneasy. Almost as if you don’t want him to approve. 
He has approved though, meaning he isn’t against you dating other people. He doesn’t want you the same way.
“Really?” You want to be sure, scared that you might put him off again.
“Yes! Really! If you’re happy then I’m happy for you.” A fib that you were unaware of. 
In truth, Spencer would rather crawl on the office bathroom floor than see you with some other guy. Fortunately for him, he isn’t actually going to be there to see you with this ‘Nathan’. So he doesn’t need to submit to such an awful torture. Maybe he’s being dramatic, you aren’t his girlfriend. He has no right to feel such a heavy drop in his gut. 
Part of him really is happy for you. He wanted you to feel loved, even if it wasn’t by him. God, how he wished it was by him. If friendship is what he has to settle for to be near you, then so be it. Though at times it feels like it might kill him, you being the closest person in his life, but not close enough to the point where he could call himself yours. 
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“REID!”
Spencer jumps at the sound of Morgan’s voice, finding it difficult to focus on his current surroundings. He missed half the team scattering around to different parts of the bar, Morgan now his only company. 
“What’s up?” His expression shifts to a tight-lipped smile.
“Where’s your head at man?” Derek probes.
“What do you mean?” 
“I mean I have never seen you this zoned out before. You haven’t checked back in since you sat down.” 
It wasn’t intentional, but since you walked out the doors of the BAU all Spencer’s been able to think about was your date. You probably went straight home to get ready, pulling out all the stops to feel as beautiful as you are. For somebody that can never truly appreciate it, not like he can. 
“I guess I’m just not feeling well.” A pathetic excuse. One Spencer finds himself making whenever he’s pulled out of his thoughts about you. 
Morgan doesn’t believe him. Hell, Spencer doesn’t even believe himself. 
“Kid. You know you can always talk to me right? About anything.” 
“I know. I’m really just tired. Actually- you know what, c-could- could you just tell the others that I’m just not feeling great, I’m- bye Derek.” Spencer stutters as he rushes out of his seat. 
He doesn’t even give the man a chance to respond as he makes his exit out of the bar. He’s lacking the capability to force himself to socialise. The knowledge of you on a date with another man was something he’s been able to handle, but a second date with a man was harder to stomach. You must like him if you’re willing to see him again. 
The ride home feels longer than it actually is. How far had the date gotten? Were you enjoying it? Did Nathan make you laugh the way he could? Spencer might lose his mind. He wondered if you had given Nathan the privilege of touching you. Your skin always looked so soft, his heart panged at the thought. He felt sick. 
You were his best friend. You trusted him. He shouldn’t think this way about you, feel this way about you. Unreciprocated feelings were something Spencer was entirely used to. He’d perfected being able to put the person at the receiving end of his affections in the back of his mind. To ignore until it went away entirely.
Why was it so much harder this time? There is no universe in which you would ever return his love for you. Which is why he needs to force himself to love you from afar. It was a fact Spencer reminded himself of repeatedly. And he would’ve kept at it, if he wasn’t interrupted by the sight of you standing in front of his door as he stepped up his apartment stairs. 
“Hi!” His voice alerts you softly.
“Hi!” You squeak back, turning on your heel to face him. 
He can’t help but note how heavenly you look. It almost knocked the air out of his lungs, except he noticed the poorly wiped tears glistening on your face. He didn’t ask about it, immediately. Instead he just pulled you in for a hug, something he rarely did with others, and unlocked his door as he motioned for you to enter first. Another thing to love about Spencer Reid. 
You step inside, more than familiar with the deep green walls surrounding you. If the stench of liquor wasn’t enough, then the way you stumbled on your way to his couch was all Spencer needed to deduce that you had been drinking. A lot. He walks past you towards his kitchen, returning with a glass of water and painkillers you would definitely need later. 
“Have you eaten?” He asks softly, handing you the glass of water. 
“Um..” you take a sip and pause as you sigh, “yeah.”
The two of you just sit there, silently, stealing small glances at each other and averting your gazes before the other can notice. You know he’s waiting for you to feel comfortable enough to speak first. Except you don’t know what to say. You feel so embarrassed. He probably had better plans for tonight, but here you are, pestering him again. 
“How long were you waiting?” He speaks up once he realises that you aren’t going to.
“Not long, I had actually just gotten there, your timing was really good.” You mumble, forcing an awkward chuckle. 
“Did Nathan drop you off?” Spencer hopes that bringing up your date might give you enough courage to vent. 
“No. No, I walked.” A resigned smile creeps on your face, not wanting to talk about your journey here. “How was your night?”
“Walked?? Alone?? Drunk??” The words seep out of him before he can hold his tongue. “Why didn’t you call me?!”
“I’m sorry! I just didn’t want to bother you!” You defend. 
But you are bothering him. You’re bothering him right now.
You bite the inside of your cheek, trying to hold back tears. Guilt creeps inside him. He knows that he’s not the source of your tears, but he didn’t want to make you cry regardless. 
“Hey, it’s okay,” he takes hold of your hand and squeezes ever so gently, “we don’t have to talk about it.”
“Why don’t we play chess? You’re getting better at it, you know?” He adds, thinking of a quick distraction. 
Chess was a favourite pastime of yours with Spencer. You pull your hand out of his grip and use it to rub the opposing arm, his touch overwhelming you. He was too soft with you. You suppose it’s why you seek him out so often. Out of all the men you’ve ever known, Spencer was the only one who knew you. It felt so nice to be known. 
“Y-yea..yes. Please. Let’s uh- let’s play chess.” You stumble on your words, eager to think about anything else. 
Spencer retrieves his mini chess board from his satchel and prepares the board between the two of you. Neither of you utter a word as you play your moves. You appreciate the silence, because you know that you can’t say or do the wrong thing. 
“You’re going easy on me.” You break the silence anyway, scared that the silence might bore him. 
“You’re holding back.” He argues and you finally meet his eyes for the first time since you started the game.
“No, I’m just drunk.” You counter.
“I was the one at a bar but you’re the one who’s drunk.” It’s a stupid comment, slightly cringy even, but he earns a genuine laugh out of you. 
His dorkiness was part of his charm. Your laughter makes him smile. A comfortable silence fills the atmosphere as your eyes meet again. Spencer’s eyes were so beautiful, you could drown in them. Spencer in general was so beautiful, in every way possible. 
“It’s your move.” He has to remind you, worried that if he’s allowed to look at you for two long he might do something really stupid.
“I-uhm- I had a shitty date.” You owe him an explanation for ruining his night.
He doesn’t respond, not wanting to say anything that might make you close up again. He wanted to be the person you talked to about your problems. He wanted to be your solace. 
“It started really well. I thought I could see something more, but it turns out he just wanted the same thing as all the others. Thought that maybe if he got me drunk enough..but it obviously didn’t work” You try to lighten the weight of your words by laughing with them. “It’s probably for the best, you know? I don’t think it would’ve worked out regardless, I couldn’t stop-”
Stop comparing him to you. 
Normally, Spencer is the one with the tendency to ramble, but the alcohol wasn’t making it easy for you to shut up. You just hope he doesn’t realise where you were headed with that statement. You kept comparing your date to Spencer. Everything Nathan did today was a direct reminder of things Spencer would never do. 
“Check.” You choose to stop making a fool of yourself there.
Spencer’s breath hitches. Not because he picked up on what you hoped he didn’t, rather because he was concerned by the possible implications of what you said.
“Did he..did he try to-” 
“No. Oh my God, no!” You cut him off before he can finish the thought. 
His shoulders relax and the silence resumes. For the first time since he met you, Spencer found himself speechless. He didn’t know whether to comfort you or give you advice. Part of him felt selfishly relieved, at least he didn’t have to worry about some other guy anymore. The other part, the part that felt disgusted with himself for even thinking about himself right now, felt a mixed range of hurt for you. 
It started with resentment for the negligence Nathan displayed with you and ended with sorrow for how easily you brushed off your hurt. While he ran all the possibilities of the best thing to say, you ran all the possibilities of leaving his apartment in the least inconvenient way for him, interpreting his silence as irritation. 
He should be irritated, you’re disrupting his night. 
You need to leave before he can tell you to. Just as you’re about to mutter some bull-shit excuse, Spencer gently cups your hand with both of his hands and locks eyes with you. His voice is so painstakingly gentle, your breath gets stuck in your throat.
“Nathan and anyone else who has ever allowed themselves to be blinded by their shallow urges is an absolute fool. Idiot. Moron. There aren’t enough words in the English dictionary to describe how stupid they are for missing out on knowing you as you are. I’ve experienced a lot of good things in my life, none have ever brought me as much joy as you do. I can’t even begin to explain how deserving you are of love and it’s heartbreaking to see that you’ve convinced yourself of the opposite.”
It’s your turn to be speechless. Of the list of things you didn’t expect, this wasn’t even on the list. You should have expected it. It was in Spencer’s nature to prove you wrong for underestimating his tenderness. He felt perhaps he went too far. Said too much.
“I-I just mean-” 
“Why are you so nice to me?” Your heart feels like it’s lacking space inside your chest, tears threaten to build. 
“Because you’re my f-friend.” He struggles to utter the last word.
“Friend..” You nervously laugh.
The meaning behind his words don’t register in your drunken state. All your focus is diverted to the feeling of his calloused skin on yours. The liquor in your veins awakens dazed boldness. One you’d be too wary of displaying otherwise. You allow your fingers to dance against his, an act of intimacy not reserved for friends. He doesn’t stop you either. 
“You know…” 
it’s almost not even a whisper, 
“...if I wasn’t who I am…” 
but Spencer was an expert in tuning out everything else to focus solely on your voice,
“...maybe you could love me the way I love you.”
And the world, as Spencer knows it, stops. Your words ring in his ears and he’s sure his heartbeat has become audible. 
“Y-you love me?” He repeats, unable to suppress his need to hear those words again.
The validity of your confession doesn’t bear any weight until you hear it from him, your motions against his hand coming to an immediate stop. You shift line of sight to his face faster than you can blink, waiting for his reaction so you can scramble to save your friendship. 
Parroting your words wasn’t enough, Spencer couldn’t believe it. He had never considered it feasible for you to love him. He had spent so many sleepless nights tormenting himself over the fact. He wanted so badly to cup your face and tell you about all the thoughts of you that consumed his mind. To say those three words back. 
“You can’t love me.” Instead he said four words that strained your hope for salvation. He’d shoot himself if he had any realisation of what he had just done. 
“No, of-of c-course, I meant like an- a- amazing fr-friend. You k-know, like the kind of bes-best friend you only mean once in your lif-life.” And you unknowingly shattered that hope in him. 
Silence has never been more deafening. Neither of you can look away from each other. There’s so much to say but how can it be said now? 
“Right. No, yeah. Of course.” He forces out. 
A fake understanding between you two. The expressions canvassing both of your faces display anything but understanding. Though you’re no longer physically touching, you’re still holding each other in your view. A few moments pass and Spencer is the first to look away. 
“You must be tired-” He starts.
You were still disrupting his space.
“Right, I’ll go-” You stand, ready to rush out the door.
“No-no.” He sighs. “Stay please. It’s late and you’re drunk-”
“No I’ve alrea-” You try to protest, not wanting him to go out of his way for you any longer.
“Please. I’ll feel a lot better knowing you’re safe.” He begs, not just with his words but his eyes. 
“Okay.” You murmur. “But I’m taking the couch.”
Under any other circumstances, Spencer would have resisted you taking the couch. Today? He was utterly drained.
“Alright. I’ll get you something comfortable to change into while I set up the couch. You know where the bathroom is.” He sports a weak smile, unable to meet your eyes again. 
He watches you disappear into the bathroom after handing you some spare clothes. He sets the couch with the pillows and blankets he’d reserved for you. He bought them after you’d slept over a few times at the start of your friendship, wanting you to sleep as comfortably as possible so you would keep coming back.
You’d just broken his heart into a million pieces, so fine that he’d never be able to put it back together whole, but he still couldn’t not exert the utmost care when it came to you. 
In the bathroom, you fight back tears again as you fumble into his clothes. You’d worn this particular sweatshirt before, because you didn’t anticipate staying the night. It was never planned, often you two just lost track of time because you spent too long engaged in conversations. After a while you started leaving things at his place so you had an excuse to keep coming back. 
You can handle just being his friend, but you don’t think you can handle not being anything to him. Was there something you could do so you didn’t have to stop coming back? 
When you came out and saw your makeshift bed for the night, you felt slightly fuzzy inside. Spencer had already gone to bed but he’d covered the cushions of the couch with a thick blanket and two fluffy pillows. A fresh glass of water was waiting for you on the coffee table with the pills from earlier. 
Maybe things were okay after all? Surely he wouldn’t have put as much care into your comfort if they weren’t. So why couldn’t you shake this feeling of dread inside you? Why did the air feel so thick?
You spend most of what’s left of the night awake, curled into yourself on his couch, muffling your sobs. You’ve ruined another good thing. Pushed away probably the most important person in your life. You knew he was too good for you, he could never feel the same way. You got greedy.
Just a few feet away from you, Spencer’s in the exact same position as you on his bed. No rejection has ever hurt as much as when it came from you. He knew you were drunk, he knew you could never actually feel the same way. But aren’t drunk words sober thoughts? Statistics definitely agree they are.
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The first thing you notice when you wake up is the pounding headache. Then the dry mouth. Spencer had left a glass of water, painkillers and a bagel on the coffee table. You reach for the pill first, hoping that the faster you take it, the faster it kicks in. As you practically pour the water down your throat, you see a little note next to the bagel. 
“Paper work day at the office. Make sure to eat and drink lots of water. Will tell Hotch that you’ll be late/taking the day off. - Spencer”
Thoughtful as ever. The bagel was still warm so he must’ve left recently. It was strange that he’d left without waking you up like he normally does. Your first bite of the bread jolts the memories of the night before and it hits you harder than the headache. Your appetite faded and the remorse set in. 
Shit. 
You and Spencer have always been able to bounce back, but the damage you caused last night might be irreparable. Say Spencer does forget about it, can you? You always knew he couldn’t love you back, but you never imagined that he would forbid you to love him in the first place. As much as you didn’t want to face Spencer right now, work was the best place for you to be if you didn’t want to go mad thinking about last night. 
You’d have to change into appropriate work attire first, so a trip back to your place was warranted. The whole uber ride back to your apartment you think of things to say when you see him. Things didn’t need to change. You had to apologise, obviously, but there had to be some way of apologising while maintaining normalcy. The best start was getting him his coffee and scones like you usually did. 
Meanwhile at the office, Spencer was stuck on the same page of his file. It had never taken him more than a few seconds to turn a page, but he wasn’t actually reading the words. You took up every thought in his mind again. He wondered if you were awake yet, if you remembered the events of the night before. 
“You know if I wasn’t who I am, maybe you could love me the way I love you.”
When he initially heard you say it, all he heard was that you love him.
“You know if I wasn’t who I am, maybe you could love me the way I love you.”
When he said it out loud to himself all he wanted to do was tell you how much he does love you, but the chance was ripped away from him just as fast as it was given to him. Did you even care? Or was it just an insignificant event to you? It was a lot easier to accept that you could never love him the same way before he had a taste of what it would be like if you did. 
There was this moment, when your fingers were fiddling with his and you said those words, just a second where he experienced what it could be like. He can’t go back to how it was, not now that he knows how it could’ve been. In order to protect himself from unravelling completely he has to let you go. An impossible task, considering you work together. 
“I brought coffee.” Your expression is tentative. 
Spencer looks up to see you standing above him, holding his daily coffee and scones in hand. There are no traces of the night before to be seen on you. Your makeup is fresh and you’d clearly changed clothes. You looked perfectly angelic, as always. If it were any other day, your gesture would’ve made him feel like the most special person in the world. Today, it felt like the cruellest thing in the world. 
“Do you wanna come with me while I heat it up? Or should I just bring it back to you?” You prompt. 
“No.” He rises from his seat and pries it out from your hand. “I can do it. Thank you.” 
Before you comprehend what’s happened, Spencer’s walked away. You try to follow him to the kitchen, but when you get there he’s nowhere to be seen. This seems to be a trend for the next few days. You find some excuse to try for conversation and he shuts it down after about one sentence. That’s if you’re able to get close enough to him for that sentence. It’s becoming more and more obvious that he’s avoiding you. 
You decide to give him space after about a week of it, wishing everyday that you could go back in time and change things. Around the two week mark, he starts giving you the cold shoulder, not even so much as looking at you. He couldn’t look at you. It was taking everything in him to force himself away from you, but it was easier than being near you. You weren’t the only one who could feel this change in your dynamic, the team was just as confused.
They’d all tried to investigate the root of this shift, individually directing casual questions to both of you in conversations. You’d both just brushed it off, not wanting to be the burden of the topic. Spencer had been doing so well in keeping his distance, but eventually, Hotch made the decision that enough is enough.
The BAU was in Chicago this week, hunting down another unsub who thought he was too smart to get caught. This was one of those cases that would stick with you for a while, so tensions were already high amongst everyone. Nobody was more on edge than Spencer and now he was forced in a car with you, driving around the city, chasing leads. 
Rarely did he ever get behind the wheel, but he knew he would need any distraction he could get. Driving was supposed to mean he wouldn’t be stuck in the passenger seat, fighting the urge to stare at you. Now he was fighting the urge to stare at you from the driver's seat. He hated being in love. You were trying your best to stay silent and looking out the window at the passing buildings. 
“Are you hungry?” 
That’s the first time in a month that Spencer’s been the first one to speak. He tried not to. Like he tried not to pay attention to your routine. It wasn’t possible. No matter how hard he tried, there were just some things Spencer couldn’t not do in regards to you. The most important thing was that he couldn’t not care. 
He knew you hadn't been eating properly. You had a tendency to forget about your well-being during hard cases. You were probably hungry. Somebody had to take care of you because you most definitely weren’t going to. He was right. The thought of food made your stomach growl. It was wicked timing. 
“No, thank you.” You lie anyway, not wanting to inconvenience him further. 
“Why won’t you stop lying to me?” He mutters in annoyance. 
“Excuse me?” You scoff, turning to look at him. 
He doesn’t look away from the road, pretending to not have heard you. 
“Seriously?” You sputter. “You’re ignoring me now?”
You huff as you throw yourself back against your seat. He didn’t mean to ignore you, he just didn’t know what to say. 
“I don’t understand why you’re being like this.” You mumble. 
It was already daunting when he was barely acknowledging you, but refusing to acknowledge all together? When you were the only person next to him? That was just vicious. You knew you’d fucked up, but was this necessary? You had already spent so much of yourself trying to keep it together, being confined in this car with him would waste your efforts. 
“Pull over.” You say in the kindest way possible, which was immensely harsh. “Spencer Reid pull this damn car over or I swear to fucking God I am going to jump out of it.”
That definitely caught his attention. In all your time together, you had never spoken to him in that way. You had definitely never addressed him by his full name. He brings the car to a halt on the side of the curb and finally turns to face you. You push the door open and hop out, slamming it behind you. 
“What are yo-” Spencer starts, but you’re already walking away. He quickly gets out and follows behind you. It doesn’t take him long to catch up to you and he stops you by the arm when he realises saying your name won’t make you turn back around. 
“Don’t touch me!” You yank your arm out of his grip and keep walking. 
“Where are you going?!” 
“Anywhere you’re not.” 
He tries you by your name again, but when it fails again, he grabs you by the shoulders and spins you around. You hadn’t noticed that you’d walked into an alleyway. 
“Get back in the car.” He demands.
“I am not getting in a car with you.” You have never been this upset with him before. 
“You’re being childish!” He snaps, rolling his eyes.
“Oh I’m being childish?! Spencer, believe me when I say I mean this is the nicest way I possibly can right now – FUCK OFF!” You push his hands off you and take a step back, but he just grabs your wrist.
“Listen to me,” he urges, “there is a serial killer that’s kidnapping women in broad daylight, torturing them and murdering them. And he’s threatened each of us individually during the course of this investigation. You cannot just be walking around alone, in a city you hardly know.”
“Don’t explain the details of this case to me, I’m well aware.” You snarl, your irritation increasing tenfold.
“Then why are you being so difficult?!” He screeches.
“Why are you–fucking hell, I cannot keep doing this. I’m not getting in the car when you won’t talk to me. Hell, you won’t even so much as look at me!” 
“Fine! You wanna talk? We’ll talk! Just–get back in the car. Please.” He sighs in defeat. You still don’t budge, so he pleads softer. “Please.”
You take a deep breath and roll your eyes, stealing your wrist out of his grasp. Spencer doesn’t move until you do, both of you silently making your way to the car. 
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You’re both silent initially, not knowing where exactly to go from here. There’s one thing you know for sure, you won’t be the first to speak. Spencer catches on to that fast. 
“What do you wanna talk about?” He snarls, shrugging his arms. 
“Cut the shit, I won’t get back in this car if I get out for a second time.” You’re not in the mood. The two of you had avoided this conversation for long enough, it was now or never. Some part of you wished for never. 
“Fine. Did you mean it?” He shoots, briskly. 
“What?” You didn’t know which part he meant. 
“That you love me specifically as an ‘amazing friend’, I believe was your wording.” His voice cracks and it causes a shift in his behaviour. He’s no longer hostile, just hurt. 
“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” 
In your rush to get him talking, you hadn’t actually realised that you weren’t ready to talk about this. You were stalling. 
“Answering a question with a question.” 
This doesn’t feel like a conversation. More like an interrogation, except you’re the unsub. He scoffs bitterly at your silence. 
“Spencer, don’t–” 
“No, you’re the one who wanted to talk! You were so insistent, in fact, that you would have rather made yourself a serial killer’s target then get in a car with me if I didn’t talk to you. And all of a sudden you’re speechless?” He snaps at you. 
“Yes! I was the one who wanted to talk! I just– I can’t understand what I’ve done to make you hate me so much? Was it because I said I love you? Did it really upset you that much?” You were both shouting from frustration. 
“You think I’m upset because you love me?!” Spencer scoffs in disbelief. 
“Aren’t you?!” You bitterly laugh. 
Spencer rubs his temples and squeezes his eyes shut, mumbling some under his breath. He’s genuinely never been this frustrated in his life. 
“Are you being serious?” His voice strains in pitch, as he tries to keep himself a lot calmer than he feels. “Is this some sort of joke to you?”
“Some sort of joke–”
“Do not interrupt me again. You wanna run away from this? Fine. But you will listen because I will not have this conversation again.” His tone is sharp, like a blade being held against your throat. It definitely shuts you up.
“Talk. Okay, let’s talk about how I have spent the last four years watching you allow undeserving men to walk all over you, letting them treat you like you’re worth nothing. I damn near drove myself insane trying to figure out why. Why is it something you accept for yourself? And then I realised– that’s how you see yourself. You actually hate yourself so much that you’ve convinced yourself you deserve it! Do you realise how infuriating that is?!
Especially because it’s the furthest thing from the truth! Still, I watched you throw yourself into this vicious cycle over and over again. You gave yourself away to those idiots, knowing that they didn’t have good intentions, but you still hoped it would be different every time. I mean you’re a fucking profiler for God’s sake! How can you expect others to love you if you can’t even love yourself? 
That’s not even the worst part! You’re so desperate for their acceptance that you continuously neglect the acceptance you already have from the people who love you. People like Emily, Penelope, Derek– the team– people like– people like me. I mean I’ve always known that you didn’t love me as anything more than a friend, but your constant reminders feel like a punch to the gut! Is it that embarrassing for you to love me as anything more?
I’ve survived way worse things, but this is the cruellest thing I’ve ever been through. Because it’s coming from you! I just never expected it’d be from you.” He’s practically hyperventilating for air by the time his speech comes to a stop, the vein in his forehead more prominent than usual.
Your jaw is tense and restless, twitching from anger. Some part of you still wants to keep this friendship. The louder part knows that there’s no going back from this. You’re not entirely sure you want to go back. Your entire body is shaking from rage. The first rule of your friendship was no profiling. Not only did he break that rule, he used the profile against you as if you actually were an unsub he was interrogating. 
“That’s not fair”
His eye twitches at your response. 
“Not? Fair?” Spencer grumbles in pauses.
“No, that's not fair!” You cry out. “It’s your turn to listen.”
It doesn’t feel like there’s any oxygen left to breathe in the car.
“Self loathing? Spencer, that's your projection! You love too hard and nobody’s ever loved you back the same way. But just because you lack things you want in your life doesn’t mean you get to take it out on me! And all this talk about love, but none of it makes any sense. You think I’m embarrassed of loving you? Is that how shallow you think I am?! You’re the one who told me that I can’t love you. God, you are the most duplicitous person I’ve ever met! I can’t believe I didn’t see it. You’ve been giving me the cold shoulder because I love you as an ‘amazing friend’? Because you love me and you think I’ve been neglecting you?!”
You had never spoken to anyone this way in your life. There was so much truth to Spencer’s words, but he had no right. He’d touched every nerve in your body without ever laying a hand on you. Up until roughly twenty minutes ago, being seen by Spencer was your favourite thing in the entire world. Now? You’d never hated the feeling more in your life. 
Spencer squeezes his hand into a fist, knuckles going white and releases his fingers like if he were aggressively squishing a stress ball. If asked about a month ago, he would never in a million years think that your friendship would manage to dissipate in just a few seconds. He didn’t think he could associate the word love with you anymore.
“Let’s get one thing straight. I do not love you. I do not love anything about you. Actually, I hate you. I hate how sweet you pretend to be. I hate the stupid morning coffee you bring me, nothing tastes more bitter. I hate to admit this but you’re right; everything about you is a brutal reminder of all the good things I can never have and I despise you for it.” He spits his words out with extreme tension in his blood vessels. 
“I can’t say I’ve known what it feels like to truly loathe someone before I met you.” You fire back, breathlessly, not having it in you to spare any more words for him. 
You’re not exactly sure how long the two of you have been sitting there just glaring at each other. Only when Spencer’s phone rings do you two look away. 
“Reid.” He answers the call. “Yea, she’s still here. We’re on our way back now.”
The ride back to the precinct was silent. Even as you regrouped with the rest of the team, you acknowledged everybody but each other. The team was instantly alert to the change, but no one mentioned it at the time because of the high stress of the case. You wrapped the case up a few days later and only then did the questions start making their way around. 
“Is everything okay between you two?”
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“What happened between you and Reid?”
“What’s up with Boy Wonder over there?”
You didn’t entertain any of them, Spencer had taken up enough time in your life. You refused to talk about him, look at him or acknowledge him at all. He shared that same incentive. Another three weeks passed as the team watched what was once the closest duo in the BAU, pretend that their counterpart didn’t exist. 
If one of you was in a room and noticed the other enter, you’d walk out without drawing attention to the situation. When leaving the room was not an option, you either went as far in the opposite corner of the room as you could or you’d simply pretend the other wasn’t present just a few metres away. You wouldn’t discuss intel with each other about cases, sharing your findings with anybody else. 
Since Chicago, Hotch only assigned you with Spencer once more, but quickly realised that wasn’t going to help when both of you begged to be assigned with someone else privately. If you were in a discussion with someone and they started talking about Spencer, you’d tune out entirely. After a while the hating game got exhausting.
Spencer hated pretending that he hated you. He felt an immense amount of guilt for the things he’d said, but it was too late to take it back. He thought it would be easier to deal with his feelings if he wasn’t around you all the time, but it was just as difficult as before. You still lit up the dull grey rooms of the building. The only difference was that now he had to watch you shine from afar. 
In truth, you didn’t hate Spencer either. What you actually hated was that you didn’t hate Spencer. You still caught yourself staring at him for long periods of time. There were days when you’d go to his favourite coffee shop before work and buy his order, only to give it away to somebody on the street because you didn’t want to ruin Spencer’s day with the bitterness of your coffee. 
By the fifth week since you had gotten back from Chicago, you and Spencer were no longer ignoring each other as much. You’d gotten into a routine of professionalism for the sake of the team, only talking to each other about cases when necessary. That didn’t stop you from subconsciously showing subtle gestures of love. These were a lot quieter than the gestures you showed when you were friends. 
You’d make sure that there was always a fresh pot of coffee in the office kitchen, so Spencer would have it ready to drink whenever he needed. He’d make sure that the snack cupboard was always filled with your favourite snacks because he knew you liked having something to munch on when catching up on paperwork. You’d keep extra painkillers in Garcia’s lair knowing Spencer would retreat there when a migraine hit.
He’d ensure the aircon was always set to room temperature, you get uncomfortable if the room was too cold. Both of you were aware of the little gestures too, no one else knew your truly niche preferences. Neither of you was brave enough to actually go up to the other, though. It was all too much for you. No matter what was said, he was still your thoughtful Spencer deep down and it killed you.
You’d tried to talk to Spencer a few times, building up the courage for days in advance. As soon as he noticed you heading in his direction, he nearly bolted in the other direction. His avoidance didn’t end at the office. You recently became aware that Penelope had been scheduling rosters to invite you and Spencer to outings, trying to ensure you were present for equal amounts of time. 
You were chilling at her desk in wait for her, when you noticed a little note with your name next to a date and time. Under that was Spencer’s name with a separate date and time. 
“Hey! What are you doing here?” She greets you.
“I needed to talk to you…Penelope what is this?” You hold up the little pink sticky note.
Penelope sets her octopus mug down and takes the note from your hand. 
“This? This is nothing.” She fumbles a bit as she speaks.
“Garcia?” You purposefully speak with warning.
“Okay! Okay! But you didn’t hear it from me! We’ve kinda been taking turns hanging out with you and Spencer sometimes. But it’s because we love you and don’t want to make either of you-” She starts a panicked tangent.
“Garcia!” You interrupt her before she sends herself into a spiral. “There’s no need to do all of this. Yes Spencer and I aren’t close anymore, but you guys don’t need to go out of your way for us.”
“Well..” She grits her teeth and tilts her head.
“What?” 
“We didn’t really mean to. It’s just we noticed that Spencer would never come if you were going. And both of you just straight up refuse to talk about it, so this was the best we could come up with.” 
“Oh. Penny, I’m sorry that you guys have had to do that.” That was all you could say, your head hanging in guilt.
“Can you at least tell me why you won’t talk about it? I mean it makes sense for Boy Wonder, he’s always been stubbornly private, but you’ve never not told me anything!” 
You look towards Garcia again, thinking for a minute. You didn’t know exactly why you refused to talk about it. 
“I don’t know, honestly. I just don’t want to talk about it, if that makes sense?” You pull your friend in for a hug as an apology. 
You felt awful leaving her lair without giving her a proper answer or a resolution. It didn’t matter how professional you acted, this rift would always impact your friends and your work life. 
Spencer would always impact everything in your life. 
The guilt didn’t spare you that night, creeping its way to the forefront of your mind every few minutes. It had been four months since your last fight. It was the longest you’d gone without Spencer. This had to end for the sake of the team. That was how you found yourself standing at his door once again. After a few minutes you finally knock. You didn’t know what you were going to say, honestly you just wanted to run before he answered. You hear the locks being undone, but it’s not Spencer who answers when that door finally swings open.
“Yes?” 
It’s a woman, one you've never seen before. You’re taken aback and look around to make sure you got the right apartment. This was definitely Spencer’s apartment, you’d been here a hundred times before. And some woman was answering his door for him. Some very beautiful woman. 
“Can I help you?” She follows up, looking you up and down. 
“Hi, yeah, sorry, is–um– is Spencer here?”
“Who’s asking?” She’s definitely not very friendly. 
“We work together. Is he here or not?” You didn’t have the patience for this, annoyance seeping through your pores. 
“Who’s at the door?” His voice emerges from behind her and he finally shows up. “Oh.”
“Hey.” You glance away as soon as you see him. 
“Could you give me a minute?” He turns to the woman. She flashes a sickly sweet smile and kisses his cheek before disappearing inside. Spencer shuffles out to the corridor, closing the door behind him.
“That–uh–that was–” He stops himself, clearing his throat and switching to his professional voice. “What are you doing here?”
Cold.
“I was hoping we could talk.” You bite the inside of your cheek, trying to play off what you just saw. 
“What more is there to say?” 
“About the team. I came over to, um, apologise and maybe move past things for the sake of the team.” You were looking everywhere but at him. 
“Honestly?” His eyes are on you though. “I don’t care. And even if I did, I don’t want to hear it.” 
He starts to walk away, but turns back and mentions your name like it’s the most vile word in the dictionary. “Please don’t come back here. It’s hard enough at work, I don’t want to see your face in my personal time too.” 
With that he re-enters his apartment, leaving you standing in the hallway. It’s hard to imagine that this man was once your best friend. If you didn’t know about all the good times, you wouldn’t have believed it. Every tear that your body could ever produce streamed out of you for the rest of the night. Once you had made it back to your apartment, they broke out in sobs. In your line of work, you had survived being shot at, almost blown up and even a kidnapping once.
The man you loved with every fibre of your being looking at you like you were less than filth under a person's shoes was your breaking point. There was no way you were going to face him again. You needed to forget about Spencer Reid, which meant a fresh start. This city was a constant reminder of his essence, you couldn’t stay. You plopped down on your bed with your work bag, reaching into it for your work computer. Hands twitching as you type. 
You remember being so proud when David Rossi recommended you for the FBI’s Behavioural Analysis Unit. You were even more ecstatic when Hotch actually requested your transfer there. You had worked your ass off for it. It was there that you met the infamous Doctor Reid. He was much different than how you had imagined him. He was so charming, friendly and so down to earth, not liking him wasn’t an option. The two of you had so much in common, despite being so different, it was the foundation for your friendship. His caring nature pulled you in further, you soon found yourself deeply in love with him. 
Tears flooded your keyboard as all your memories with him flash through your brain. His friendship was a beautiful bonus of the job you once loved, you never thought that he would become the reason you’d leave it. Yet here you were, furiously drafting your resignation to Agent Hotchner. There were so many signals in your brain telling you to back off, to open a bottle of wine and drown your sorrows instead, but your heart didn’t feel like that would be enough. Your love for your job didn’t outweigh your desire to run.
Spencer Reid was your best friend and being in love with him is an excruciating torture. One that you can no longer endure. You had never been more sure of anything as you are at this moment and you weren’t going to give yourself time to change your mind. Your time with Spencer and, as a consequence, your time at the BAU had come to an end. Another memory flashes through your mind as you sign the letter off with your name. A case in Boston had gone wrong and you were really hung up on it. Spencer, in an attempt to help you move on, shared a quote with an author he had recently read. You bitterly chuckle to yourself at this recall and press send with no second thought.
 “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” - C.S. Lewis.
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Spoilers: BAU! Reader, friends to enemies, mutual pining, hurt, angst no comfort, whump (maybe idk), Reader & Spencer are both idiots, they should probably consider therapy actually, Spencer is a sassy little shit, but really just needs a hug and a class on communication. 
AN - You’ve heard of enemies to lovers/friends, now I present to you the exact same thing in reverse (been done time and time again, I’m not in any way original <3). You can blame Ariana Grande for this one. Sorry that I haven't posted, I've had insane writers block. I might be slightly incapable of shorter word counts, I’ll try to improve that.  I apologise for grammar/anything that does not make sense, I am both an idiot and also was dealing with a bad case of the flu when I wrote this. I’d like to thank @reidmotif for curing my writer's block and inspiring me on the second half of this fic. Thank you @starstruckbambi for proof reading this.
Drop thoughts & feelings so I can ponder on them. Always remember that I’m in your walls. 
Thank you for reading!
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