#‘achieve everything i want to achieve’ well not quite BUT THATS FOR THIS YEAR!!!

[dreamsclock]

DUDE I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR 2023

dude i am so fucking excited for 2022

[coriphallus]

A little rant on patch 6 and the implications for bg3's future

Okay, bear with me for a sec its gonna go somewhere eventually. My first bg3 run (thats spammed here on this blog) i played ascended astarion/dark urge romance where i picked the reject bhaal and become the absolute ending.

as it was my first playthrough on release i was vibrating off mt seat and i didnt really have elaborate HCs or anything, i was just doing a quick evil run until the bugs get sorted out. i didn't think much beyond "yes this dude would want the shiny stones for himself"

first time i saw astarion enthralled, i was confused. he asked me to do it, he was quite insistent on it since the beginning of the game. i was confused for a couple of hours, digesting the entire game i just played. Then it hit me; the game was calling me out. it was telling me ive been stupid for not having seen this coming and at that point i felt awe.

it was right, everything pointed to this, it was right in front of my eyes all i needed was to connect the dots that the game laid out quite visibly and i was just too caught up to see.

'well my durge would never do that' didnt matter because thats exactly what the companions thought. Gale thought the powers of an insatiable weave wouldnt corrupt him, that he'd stay true to himself, shadowheart thought shar had blessed and her she'd guide her, that she could be her true self under her influence, astarion thought he'd be free, that he'd cherish the bond he'd made with the player but at the end of the day power reveals; and when that power is acquired through the corpses of thousands its quite evident that Absolute power corrupts absolutely. IT WAS IN THE FKIN NAME.

it was a shining bait i was so focused on getting my hands on that i didn't look back to see the mountain of corpses i had to step on to get there. the game was telling me 'HEY LOOK AT EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE TO GET HERE, LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE OTHERS WHO THOUGHT THEY COULD ACHIEVE THIS, DO YOU THINK YOU'D HOLD HANDS AND SING KUMBAYA WITH YOUR FRIENDS AFTER ALL THIS?'

just as there was never an option where frodo could stab saurons flaming eyeball and sit on his throne with the ring on his finger and sam at his side, there was never an ending i could get my 'happy ending' the way id like it to. i wanted frodo to remain in middle earth and have some peace in the end, i didnt understand how he was 'too changed' to remain and sam wasnt when i first read the books. i was angry even, that i didnt get what i wanted. it wasnt like tolkien haphazardly put together an ending out of his ass bcs he didnt know what to do with the characters, its not that he didn't think while writing that the fans would hate it, he wrote a story that achieved its catharsis by reaching its narrative conclusion. it couldnt have done that any other way. it was deliberate. i may not have understood or agreed at the time but it was the story he wanted to tell, and it wouldnt be one of the greatest stories ever told if the writer wanted to please a 10 y/o like myself.

it was never out of character for my durge at all, i was just blissfully avoiding the NARRATIVE.

months later we get this absolute narrative abomination:

and all i can say is im worried.

im worried bcs this is a clear disrespect to the story they've written, im worried bcs if they can do off with huge plot elements and beats such as this just like that it shows a lack of commitment to their own plot and if a huge Point of the game can be treated like a minor mistake than what else can? was is just a lack of oversight that laezel gets killed under vlaakith? can it be waved off if enough vlaakith loving gith players come together and shout loud enough that they want to ride alongside their queen with their gith gf?

what part of the game is tangible to hold on to, and after two years worth of patches that are made to appease the fans at the expense of the story, will it still be the game i fell in love with?

i dont blame the fans for wanting, i blame the devs for delivering. that they could sacrifice the integrity of a pretty straightforward story bodes ill tidings for the future of this game.

yes i wanted this feature, but i was glad i wasn't given it. i may have been confused and slightly miffed that i didn't get to reign supreme with my evil bf, but i immensely respected the game that could call me out on it. i wish they could show the same respect to their own writing.

[blu-ish]

Imagine if the person who shot María is related to Tom?

"A Wachowski hasn't left Green Hills in 50 years"

- Tom Wachowski

(From the first movie)

iNtErEsTiNg ChOiCe oF wOrDs……

Yeah.. very interesting choice, I know everyone and their mom as talked about this very topic since the very clear 50 YEARS has showed up twice now. Especially when we're in the final months counting down to the 3rd Sonic Shadow Movie.

Could it be a coincidence? I mean it would be a pretty on the nose in terms of coincidences, and I don't blame you for making the connection. Could one of Tom's relatives had been involved with Project Shadow? and moved to Green Hills to escape it? Like an ex-G.U.N solider perhaps?

From what we know as of now based on SA2--and the movie could take this in a whole other direction, but everyone who worked under Gerald was.. well.. Ctrl + Alt deleted lmao. The only one who escaped from the ARK alive was Shadow.

And Tom's family has a history of work on the force, it would make sense of lets say, a ex-G.U.N solider quitting his job after the ARK to live in quiet Green Hills and becoming a police officer.

Tom had no clue who G.U.N even was when they showed up in the second movie, so we can rule him out of knowing this info firsthand if true.

Does it make sense, surprisingly so. Do I like it? Not sure. (not rlly vibeing with the idea of one of Tom's relatives having any connection to the G.U.N solider that shot Maria-- not like they have any way of knowing that anyways I suppose lol.)

Having a potential narrative where Shadow learns Tom's granddad or something murdered his sister and then actively going after him and Sonic the whole movie, Inigo Montoya style LMAO, just... ehhhh that's me spit-balling but I just don't like it...

Shadow's view of the world was what him and Maria read about in books and learned on the ARK. He never got to experience it himself before he was forcibly sent down by Maria to save his life only for him to be put into eepy time and frozen in G.U.N's stinky fridge basement. Where he FORGOR EVERYTHING AND HIS MEMORIES WERE MESSED WITH-- ALONG WITH HIS MEMORIES OF MARIA. Like he wasn't even sure if he WAS the OG Shadow like my dude had A LOT on his plate.

it wasn't just G.U.N he wanted revenge on after she was murdered (if he even remembered them specifically), it was the whole world. It was HUMANITY. Thanks Gerald lol. He didn't want anyone in his way in achieving his mission after he was woken up. G.U.N solider or not. He didn't go out of his way to be unnecessarily violent towards them, he just needed them away from him (along with everyone else) so he could use Eggman to collect the chaos emeralds to activate the Eclipse cannon like he was "told". And make the world go boom boom---- 🌎💥

I personally think if Tom ends up having a connection to Project Shadow in any way, which is likely the case, and they do it right--make it interesting, make sense, that works and flows well with Shadows story. I'd reconsider. It would be an interesting narrative if done correctly.

BUT THATS JUST ME WHAT DO I KNOW SHJSHSSHSJS THANKS FOR THE ASK DUDE!!!

[sasukeless]

2 If you’re still doing the controversial ask game

hi

2) was sasuke right?

ahh this billion dollar question isn’t it. i feel like this is the top 1 most discussed thing on this app for years, i have read every side of it.

to give #my opinion, im gonna go with yes. but its far more complicated, like most things are with naruto lol. i believe sasuke is right because he sees there’s a flaw in the existing system around him and to finally do something about it the only way to do that it’s to get ride of the system from the root.

now, as much as i agree with sasuke there i don’t agree with the way he tries to do that revolution. i dont mean this in a “oh violence wont be fixed with more violence” bs. i mean this because where sasuke’s goals are born for and how they affect his plans.

when sasuke finishes listening to the kages and it’s coming up with his thoughts, he immediately is bombarded by memories of itachi (itachi only, not his clan) and itachi’s words to him. when he states he will not let the village be destroyed he does it by adding “itachi’s will”. when sasuke is dying in the war arc his only thoughts again are that he doesn’t want to waste what itachi wanted to die. this shows us very clearly that sasuke’s revolution is very influenced by itachi’ wants. a little different, sure but still the same. which makes sense why his goal at vote2 is destroy the last person he loves and bear the hatred of everyone so the villages can have peace between them as long as they focus all on him. and this is quite what itachi did, just on a bigger scale. naruto = uchiha clan. the villages = konoha. sasuke = itachi.

^this is where many people complain that kishimoto had to turn sasuke ooc to make him evil and i can see what they mean but personally i dont view it as such when i look at what sasuke’s arc has always been. i have seen also that they dislike that post reveal sasuke’s character seems to be focus on itachi more than in his clan like in part 1 which i also disagree. itachi has been sasuke’s main influence in his character since day one. even in part 1, sasuke’s hate towards itachi isn’t just because he killed his clan, kishimoto focuses alot in showing itachi and sasuke having a loving relationship. kishimoto is very specific that sasuke’s biggest grief at the end of the day is not the massacre alone but the fact it was itachi who committed it. this is essentially what sets sasuke aside of other characters that lost their family/clans/parents etc. its not only what he lost but by who’s hands he lost it. so his focus has always been in itachi. so i dont think it was only part 2 that sasuke became more driven by itachi than anything else… anyways going back to the topic because im going off the rails (sorry).

sasuke has always had itachi first imo. and sasuke has always been defined by love too so ofc he’s gonna forgive the person he loves even if he doesn’t deserve it, ofc he’s gonna try to achieve that peace his brother “sacrificed” his life for (even if thru different means that he wanted you to). but while i understand and love sasuke’s character, i still think these are all very personal reasons for his revolution plans and thus why it fails.

his revolution plans are also self destructive but he doesn’t care because he still views it as his ultimate duty (again why he was so distraught when he was about to die without doing anything). he wants to become the bearer of all evil, and pain and hatred and wants to be all alone, even tho that is something that has caused alot of his pain in the past, he even talks about possible immortality and its just, well sad. you can tell hes about to sell his own doom because he thinks thats what he has to do to fix everything. he is ready to become a martyr. and forgive me but i view as that as a very tragic

so while i will always view him as being in the right, because when you put him in comparasion to most characters that doesnt realize whats wrong w the shinobi world, he will always come as one of the few that actually isn’t blind (even if its framed as bad for pointing that the system needs to be destroyed), i still dont think his plans are the right ones

[patchdotexe]

doip. / 9.13.24: happy friday the 13th everybody

no this isn't two weeks overdue. i definitely did not have the world's most executive dysfunction about this and we definitely are not playing again Tomorrow. dont look at the date. dont

technically this is no longer doip. bc we have graduated from Dragon of Icespire Peak to Storm Lord's Wrath! but also doip. is iconic to me and slw doesn't have the same ring to it in a post title. snakes loving women

last time: Kepesk left the party to rejoin his old group, the Wilders, and the rest of the Skeleton Crew set out on a mission from Lord Neverember to head to the town of Leilon and help rebuild it! i spend the entirety of this session forgetting the second half of that sentence. this bodes well for me

today we're recording the session! and by we i mean nyx.

nyx: my computer go fast. leo: ..is that good? nyx: no.

(jorb wants a video record for archival reasons, im continuing notetaking bc its fun and more accessible for me than watching a ~2hr vod.)

oh nevermind, trying to record killed nyx on the spot. im recording now! i am also the only person that doesnt have spoilers on my character sheet apparently. jorb is doing a recap of the story so far! which is very appreciated because it has been several years. :,D

jorb: [..] big al calazorn-- leo: calzorne??? jorb: calazorn. leo: big al calzone vocaloid real??? jorb: no.

we're on the road to viridian ciiityyyyy there's a building at the triboar trail intersection! it's an inn / tavern. a tavinn, if you will. ah. people are trying to… break into the tavinn? something is Off about them. that's not good. theyve broken in! TIME FOR ALIDAAR TO SAVE THE DAY. oh shit, its zombies. good thing the skeleton crew is here!

dauble is curled up on alidaar like a scarf. perfect position to put him into a chokehold

im microwaving nyx.

arepo opens the fight with a spray of cards! and the half-elf lady in the tavinn is also good at dealing out damage. lets go! whoa. okay these guys might be capable on their own, actually. oh my god lmao. i was gonna say "nvm one of em has a nat1" but then it still hit. that owns. even random tavinn owners are ready to kick ass at any given moment

This Table Has A Hitpoint Bar

(there's a table being used as a barricade and the zombies are trying to break it down. jorb looked up how exactly that works and discovered that the table has a silly amount of hp. and then nyx asked him to put a hp bar on the table.)

jorb: are you happy?! nyx: i am. i am happy.

alidaar backhands a zombie to death.

(im screwing around in combat more and that includes doing things like "figuring out how to use unarmed strikes" and "getting silly with it". alidaar did, quite literally, backhand a zombie to kill it)

oh fuck theres wraiths too. thats not good. arepo gets so startled he vicious mockery's a wraith lmao OH THE TABLES HAVE TURNED. BADLY. WRAITHS SCARY :0 dauble has channel divinity + turn undead! dauble blasts everything with their fucking Aura

Alidaar Is So Fucking Annoyed these zombies do Not like staying down. alidaar does a cool slide under a table about it and climbs up on top to breath weapon! it does not achieve much. i hate it here i need to stop punching things bc then i lose track of my attacks. bc i have mainhand-offhand-mainhand and i got pretty used to the rhythm of it. but also im trying to vary up how i approach combat bc otherwise i feel like im doing the same thing over and over One Of The Wraiths Has Fucking Left

dauble and doorc are just chilling here. wait nevermind doorc is on the move. wait nevermind doorc is still just chilling hes just chilling somewhere else

(one of the npcs is an orc guarding the door. he is now forever the doorc to me.)

THIS FUCKING WRAITH IS 240 FEET AWAY FROM THE INN. ITS JUST GOING. IT CAN GO THROUGH WALLS. ITS STEALING RAVIOLI OOPS ALIDAAR'S MAX HP WENT DOWN. 59 -> 36! haha im in danger

nyx: how many times can i embarrass this wraith before it just gives up?

RED WRAITH DOWN! …blue wraith still on the loose. um. hm Ol' Pisspants Wraithy Will Come Back Eventually [dauble voice] Ol' Pisspants Wraithy ol' pisspants wraithy is fucking pissed

jorb: dauble, you're up! (leo: dauble!) nyx: im using turn undead. leo: NO,

dauble has used turn undead again. alidaar stares at dauble. crosses his arms. does nothing. arepo checks his pocketwatch. we wait Another Two Minutes for turn undead to wear off and this fucker to come back DAUBLE IS GETTING FUCKING OWNED dauble is down for the count! DONT GO INTO THE LIGHT alidaar does a sick flip, shoots the wraith with his crossbow, and then while arepo is getting ready to attack i remember i can still attack twice with this awful thing and miss. fantastic

doorc is the most competent person in this entire encounter.

dauble is rolling well on death saves at least :,D

nyx: [deadpan] you can tell by the joy in my voice. jason: you sound ecstatic. nyx: i am.

ALIDAAR IS SICK OF THIS WRAITH'S SHIT. IT IS NOW CONFETTI. GOODBYE

jorb: you know how trunks kills frieza? leo: yeah.

jorb: so dauble is dying,

alidaar pours a potion of healing on dauble. please do not cease to be dauble is okay! hooray! also we've saved martisha, teegar, and coorag. teegar and coorag are married and i mixed up who is who and thought there was lesbians. there isnt. sad. alidaar is carrying dauble around like a cat. he is Very unhappy that dauble ate shit and is bad at displaying it so there's a lot of Wiggling Dauble to make sure theyre ok hooray, we're heroes! somebody is paying for our lodging and teegar's paying for our drinks :D

arepo has ordered a diet dr pepper.

jorb: she gets you a nice frothy mug of diet dr. pepper.

arepo is socializing while i catch up on note-taking bc i was busy driving the bus diet dr pepper is the famous local brew. its a peppery version of diet doctor coorag has a trident necklace! arepo recognizes it as a symbol for water stuff. i have immediately forgotten jorb's phrasing. something something not faith just lifestyle we are two hexagons away from the ocean.

alidaar is making friends! and eating pork pie. and also shoving dauble's face into pork pie. DURNALD DEEPCRUST. LMFAO

(that's the name of the cook. he's a dwarf. also the return of the "cryovain is alidaar's dad" joke happened so alidaar (lovingly) bullied dauble over it)

alidaar is a wuss when it comes to spicy so he ends up having to use bardic inspiration and a tiny bit of frost breath to survive this pork pie. this is hilarious alidaar has unlocked a tastebud. just one. OH MY GOD MY MEMORY IS STRUGGLING SO BAD. hi. we're going to a place i forgot how to spell to help with repairs. one of the people alidaar's befriended, silla, is heading there to try and do fishing stuff and get a job. also she plays the harmonica :3 alidaar has successfully played the flute! and one of the other patrons is singing along about defending the inn and then getting owned by the spicy pies. this is adorable

dauble is taking everything so normally.

dauble: can we get the 3 bed rooms? alidaar: yeah sure :3 alidaar: [lies down] dauble: [gets in alidaar's bed] alidaar:

ah. hm. dauble has sneaked off to do something while alidaar and arepo are sleeping. that's.. fine. the third bed is for twigbias. dauble is tucking the terrarium in.

aaaand that's the session! \o/

(these are way more disorganized than usual. hoo boy. juggling "being the guy that initiates interactions", "making sure the recording functions properly", and "taking notes" means that some stuff got a bit unbalanced. this is still more thorough notes than i took for the first session of doip at least lmao)

[signedkoko]

Hihihihi! Can I get a parental/platonic parent matchup for hazbin hotel?

Im a cancer, around 14-15 years of age, and have short brown hair. I'm around 4'9-5'6 ft.

Around people I don't know I'm super nice and kind, usually complimenting my my way into a friendship with most people. I like to draw and read horror book, (I.E coraline, the man in the basement, dread end, etc).

I am mostly known around school as a kid who gives most of the time, buying goods for kids who can't at lunch, sitting with lonely kids, etc. I try my best to stay out of fights, and most times I don't initiate them.

At home, however, I can be loud and tired at the same time. I'll be like: "SO GUESS WHAT HAPPENED AT SC- I'm tired ima go nap" and I'm also the peacemaker of the family, being the youngest.

My fashion usually varies from vampire goth to grunge. I mostly wear vampire goth outside of home, but at school I wear grunge cuz if I wear vampire goth I'll get bullied.

Thats all! I'm sorry if I didn't provide enough info! Make sure to take care of yourself ♡

You got…Emily | Carmilla | Vox!

Your best friend is Emily! Ever since the two of you met, you've always gotten along. She really likes your drawings and tries to read what you read, but she finds them a bit scary and will usually depend on you summarizing things for her so she doesn't have to go through any of the gruesome parts. She is probably very scared and very intrigued with Coraline.

Emily agrees that you are one of the sweetest people she's ever met; she never feels judged around you and always gets her thirst for adventure quenched with all the media you show her. Your style is so cool to her, she might even ask if you can help her do some gothy vampire looks.

Expect quite serene days spent having fun without worry. Emily will always be there to defend you, and she probably has a billion questions to ask you at all times.

X

One figure who would take you in is Carmilla Carmine. She already has two daughters whom she adores deeply, and so she has a lot of experience with teens and teaches them all they need to know.

Your fashion probably just matches her looks, and she is more than happy to help you pick out a proper, well-rounded wardrobe that not only suits exactly what you like but also matches her a little bit. Lots of red and grayscale clothing.

Carmilla reads a lot, usually with a glass of red wine, and she makes certain to keep a section of her bookshelf for you, full of books she thinks you might like. She's the type to read all of them in advance, so when you finish, you can talk to her about them to your heart's desire.

Expect a protective but free household; you and her other daughters are held to her highest standard, and anything your heart wishes, she will do her best to achieve. You are always welcome to join the family business, too.

X

Another parental figure you may have is Vox! Vox never planned to have kids or take any in; no, he probably thinks he hates kids! But there's an exception for everything.

He probably sneaks you into the V's tower after finding you alone, and he's already committed to getting you cleaned up and warm because, man, what is this kid doing all alone in hell? He can't just—well, he can't just leave you out there, can he?

The more time you spend together, the more he considers you his daughter. You have your own room that he's always bringing things into. He's the type to just knock until you let him in and then give you some random thing he got you. Single slice of pizza, hot chocolate—hey, look how fast he can solve a Rubics cube. Wanna play with this new drone I'm prototyping? I found the book you wanted!

Oh yeah, the fridge is covered in your drawings. Even if they're digital, he has a little digital screen that has a slideshow of your work, and he does his best to show interest in any hobby you pick up.

If he ever hears you say you won't do something because you'd be bullied, he would probably hand you a taser and money to go indulge in what you like and zap the shit out of anyone who pokes fun at you.

He's not a very good parent in terms of morals, but he won't let anyone hurt you or shame you. He would get Velvette herself to help you find your style and would probably bar Valentino from ever EVER meeting you.

Expect a lot of movie nights together, trying all his new technology first, and getting every ounce of support. You'll never be alone, and you'll always be safe because, unless you ask him not to, he's always checking in on you.

Author’s Note - I actually could not pick, I had so many ideas!! So I went for one friend and two (separate) parental figures! I hope thats okay, I was literally ranting to my friends all night about the indeas I got lmaooo

[sunset-bridge]

gorbo thoughts part .. 3?

goro thoughts update. id like to ramble again

ok i think he might not have ocd actually! i mean he could but like...i dont think theres too many signs. so yes id like to. recall that. i think that was just me projecting LMAO.. its ok! i love learning more about my favorite guy. you know what he does have

i stand by the ocpd. (obsessive compulsive personality disorder, its a completely different thing from OCD. its a personality disorder) also Definetely ctpsd (complex ptsd)...... ! i was talking with someone and they brought it up and i was like. WOAG.. after reading about it

disclaimer: i only talk about these because i have them LOL.. im sure gorbo has a cute soup of Other problems but like. i cant really talk about those well... i find these two really interesting though.

see. ocpd, is like the perfectionist control freak disorder. its what people Think ocd is lol. BUT as a personality disorder, its so much more than that. people with ocpd also:

-you tend to have a black and white moral code

-your way is the only right way.

-you like to do things alone because no one else could do them right; this may cause relationship problems and you may come across as a fucking cunt ( i know this..)

difficulty compromising and accepting any critisicim of your actions or opinions.

excessive devotion to work and productivity

sosososo afraid of failure even if its kinda small. you feel it will ruin your image forever and ever. if i make a mistake put me to death please.

Frequently become overly fixated on a single idea, task or belief. even to detriment of . everything else in your life...

yeah...

me and some friends definetely see some of these in goro! ofc im so happy to hear what you guys think, i dont mind changing my views at all (like with the ocd thing i changed opinion about!)

like.. hes super fixated on his revenge plan, its the Only thing he cares about and everything is fair game if it allows him to advance that. leave him alone, its no one elses problem. he knows what hes doing. he has to be right about his values and beliefs. he has to. or else whats the point. dont tell him hes wrong. what do you mean? you dont know anything about him. he cant fail, he cant make mistakes, he has to work hard so everyone sees him exactly as he wants to and as someone valuable.

and. cptsd. as the name suggests its. a form of ptsd but..it has the Special Added features of:

-sometimes cant control emotions well

-you feel angry distrustful and resentful at the world in general

you feel worthless, empty or forever damaged by an event. like if you were stained with dirt forever.

you feel isolated. like no one could ever even understand what you went through (not in like an. edgy kid way. like fr. you feel even if you explained to people. they wouldnt understand you and your feelings. or theyd judge you and further hurt you...)

avoiding friendships and relationships, or finding them very difficult (!!)

escapism or depersonalisation...dissociative behaviors .

yeah.. ! yeah. i think these ring quite some bells huh..! its really shitty! you feel like no one would get it, like no one would like you, like you are ruined forever and theres not much to do about it.

makes sense that goro would absorb himself in his plan. after all. he felt he was some sort of curse upon his mom; as if he was the one responsible for ruining her life.. but hed like to "redeem" himself with the revenge plan. he has to, even if its difficult to go on. i wonder if he planned to do anything if he achieved his plan? i dont think so. its a bit sad but.. he didnt really seem to plan doing. or living much more after. its like his whole life he convinced himself his only use would be as the vehicle to enact a revenge years in the making, and thats it.

as if he wasnt a person. just a tool to revenge. i think this is why its so difficult, frustrating and downright distressing to him to accept he too, has feelings and wants and needs like any Normal Person on planet earth. no way. those just interfere with the plan. and he has no right anyways.

i thought how id feel, in his shoes and with all my cute soup of wrong stuff, if some guy showed up, hes the guy i gotta kill. ok. then hes nice with me, as if mocking me. hes better at me in most things. he has friends and family and everyone likes him and he barely moves a finger. while i had to work so damn hard to even get acknowledged?? what does he have that i do not. hes nothing special. so why? then this guy acts like a fool even when hes so extraordinary in every aspect... does he think its funny? for someone so special to pretend to be ordinary. when id kill to be just half as special as him. honestly.. id become super frustrated with this bastard too. his presence would infuriate me. and the most frustrating thing, would be that this guy seems to be the only guy that seems to like hanging out with me. what the hell. guess he enjoys trying to humor me..

man...

[orionsangel86]

Hey, just wanted to tell you I am sorry you are being targeted and your words are being twisted. I don't really see what resolution does that person want? To publicly self-flagellate? What do they want to achieve? Feel free to not answer this ask obv. Just here to offer you support.

Thank you I appreciate it.

The whole thing is very frustrating and quite sad. I agree with her on the issues of fandom racism. I have never not agreed on these things. She has been attempting to twist my words and use them against me but I stand by my words. With all things there is nuance involved. There is a difference between claiming that yes, fandoms are racist and in general lean towards shipping white male characters. Yes, I do think that had Lucienne been played by a white male actor and remained Lucien as in the comic that the ship might be more popular as well.

But thats not the same as claiming that all Dreamling shippers are racist. That if you DON'T ship Morphienne you are racist. The minute you start using racism as a reason to shit on a ship you lose my respect because its no longer about a genuine concern for racism and instead becomes a game of "my ship is better than yours". The minute you start mocking Dreamling shippers and calling them "delusional" you've lost me - I have a huuuuge issue with people calling shippers delusional I was in SPN fandom for fucks sake I had 7 years of people calling me delusional and I really don't appreciate it.

I don't know what the end goal was. Whatever it was, they were going about it wrong. I desperately want more focus on other characters outside of Dreamling, anyone who follows me knows this about me. My blog is very much a mix of all Sandman content, both show and comic, and I always reblog everything I can find about the other characters to ensure that creators of fanworks devoted to other characters are getting noticed and supported by the fandom.

I have also never denied Hob's problematic side. I have never tried to excuse Hob for his crimes and have had extensive discussions about this over the past year. I am baffled that this has happened now. I think it must be a build up of frustration over the past year as Dreamling has become more and more popular and dominated online Sandman fandom and whats so annoying is that I totally understand how that could be frustrating. I feel for people who don't ship it and would rather focus on Lucienne, or Calliope, or Rose Walker, because I have seen how little content there is for them and its not always easy to just say "well go make it!" because even if you do make it, its not getting anywhere near the amount of attention as a similar fanwork for Dreamling or Hob would get. But that's no excuse to resort to hateful rhetoric. That's no excuse to start pointedly claiming racism because you don't like how popular a ship is.

In the end I did block her. She basically told me too. I think if I didn't the conversation would have kept going round and round in circles. I don't like it though. I'm hoping that in time we can put this behind us and engage in civil discussions again, but it just all became petty with the flashing of receipts like "gotcha's" and racism accusations of anyone who hinted at disagreement.

I want this fandom to be a safe space for poc, and I want us to be able to discuss the racism inherent in fandom spaces without spiralling into shipping wars, and I will always be happy to engage with anyone who wants to discuss these issues and how we can tackle them appropriately. For the time being though, I'm gonna go pour all this energy into my Lucienne x Gault meta. Hopefully something good can come of this in the end.

[moonstone27ls]

Chucky season 3...

Warning...

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Spoiler warning....

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After this I'm done warning....

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I warned you.....

Sooo quite a bit happened. Some of it felt crazy, maybe it was rushed. But considering they went through a writers' strike, etc. And its Chucky in general, I kinda let some of it slide. It was still a decent season. And I'm hoping they'll give it a fourth season. Especially since it ended on a cliff hanger.

Ep 6 was pretty decent. I mostly felt sorry for Henry, poor kid was manipulated so badly and all that he saw. He's gonna need a lot of therapy.

I almost can not get over that out of all the things Chucky wanted he wanted to blow up the North Pole, just to ruin the kids belief in Santa. In fact his last words were "Fuck Santa".

Bigger picture wise (yes I know its a horror/comedy but I still have a right to nitpick 8B)... I am a LITTLE surprised that the military did not even remotely question the "President"'s orders to blow up those designations. You would think one would be "Uhh... sir why the North Pole?". I mean you'd think one person would question whats happening the moment they hear him go "Abort" later that it should been a big red flag to turn EVERYTHING off.

And also.... though its the North Pole and climate change in all.... still feel there should have been some effect from blowing up the North Pole oO;. What I dunno. I'm not a scientist but still should have done something.

Ep 7: Feel like the Underworld was a nod/or inspiration from Beetlejuice lobby scene. And I dunno if its because they're all "ghosts" still... a bit confused why Chucky's victims were there with Damballa. Since you know they assuming didn't worship him.But I enjoyed the scene still.

I really did enjoy his banter with his god. Lol Damballa's own surprise to hear he killed the President. And he's "Oh well of course I wasn't paying attention, YOU cheated on me with other gods".

Though... and yes I'm nitpicking. Chucky's other chance... Damballa said he needed to kill without a body. I thought it was already achieved when he killed the three people at the seance... but I guess Jake's killing in the next ep still counted? Or maybe that was just an ad on for "kill counts". And as confused as I am where G.G. stands (good/or villain wise). I did like the message they left their mother

Then we get onto the finale... as much as it was interesting to see world of the dead/limbo, etc (I dunno). It honestly felt a bit obvious it was a trap. Why... because as much as Jake kept stressing there was "good chucky".

That was technically brainwashing. Brainwashing that was never really proven/or even successful. Cause... they did that in what in a couple of days. That can take weeks or months, maybe years. Not to mention all the other Chuckys. I dunno don't think thats how death works. But this was probably more fun I guess.

Did enjoy Jake's scene with him forgiving his dad. Though I do feel they missed a good opportunity for him to make up with all his family. His uncle, aunt and even Junior. (cousin) Junior I think especially considering, Junior died with no resolution between his animosity with Jake. Yes, yes I know Lexy "love". Butt doesn't scrape off the kid died with issues. He murdered his father (whom he had daddy issues). He spent his last days either bullying/or hating his cousin. Whom from I can see Jake didn't hate him, it was like his dad. He just hated how he was being treated.

But oh well, maybe they couldn't reach the actors/or didn't have time.

Not entirely surprised the CIA group would bomb the house to "cover up things". Would be shocked/or sadden by the medium Timmy dying... but he was only there two eps. The impact isn't as strong/or surprising. Did enjoy Pyrce was somewhat haunted by the ghosts before he died. I dunno feels almost poetic. Though it was cute Grant saw the ghost of his father holding hands with his baby brother Joseph... felt so sad/or bittersweet.

Then there's Tiff's escape.... uhh don't get me wrong I was okay. She's practically part of Chucky's entourage. And I'm not shocked she'd get out/maybe even reunite. Its just the continual luck that baffles me. I mean again this Chucky, so I went with it. But still lol.

She was so adamant about having those dolls. Making it implied she needed them or her spells wouldn't work(though I always find it strange her "dolls" influence feelings is a stretch). But literally they all come to her without even touching them. And if its the case they're all acting odd, you'd think someone family/or staff would notice oO. And I'm not buying that a random convict is that good of a shot at killing a sniper. Lol but I guess Chucky's gotta have his kill count.

And also how DID Tiffany know to come RIGHT to Wendell's house or that he'd be there oO. Had they been talking about that plan and when? But oh well. They brought back Chuck/Tiff which I'm okay with. There aren't that many "horror" couples and I feel they just kinda fit. Like a horror verse of Dr Girlfriend/Monarch.

I admit it was cute they actually tried to make these two like normal parents. And were nostalgic about G.G and wished to hear from them.

Then we have Caroline.... guys I'll say it again I have mixed feelings with her. And I'm gonna give fair warning, this is MY observation. I know I don't speak for a whole community. This is just from what I HAVE seen and read from other commentators on such topic.

Now bigger picture. The evil kid trope is not shocking or even unheard of. Same for killer kid trope. And if done right, they become icons like Children from the Corn, Rhoda Penmark, Sadako, and Damien (young Damien). And no just to make obvious, I'm not expecting Caroline to be an automatic icon.

To explain better... its that she's been hinted to be autistic. And for that matter her automatic switch to evil while its not completely out of the blue... feels problematic. Again I am NOT autistic and I know I shouldn't get on a pedestal and rant about something I'm not a 100% familiar with. But I bring this up for one reason, (there might be others but this is the only one coming to mind) The Predator made in 2018. Several people were not fond of how the portrayal was used. Furthermore making her a killer/or would be killer felt like it was going with a bad trope/stereotype. Again this is my understanding.

Do I think Mancini did this on purpose? That he's being an ableist following a stereotype. I ... don't think so. But even good creators can make mistakes. I think for the most part... this feels bad because this came out of no where and had no development. From all acounts Caroline was a normal, sweet kid. That judging by the writing was struggling to be understood by her family.

Yes that part I got. Cause I can imagine its tough for parents with a child thats most likely autistic, while the other one isn't (Lexy). Yes she ignored some of Chucky's violent stuff. But with no REAL development you can chalk it up to she's just a kid. Orr yes they'll just go "oh she's autistic".

In all honesty her going to the "dark side" was more of a plot twist for season 2. HAD we seen actual signs or development it'd be different. Show Caroline showing a big interest in dissection or tormenting animals. Have her be actual violent. We've seen Chucky influence children. They could have done that, SHOW Chucky telling her how to think. Show her enjoying it/or even questioning before giving in. But up until then we had NOTHING.

So her abandoning her family because Chucky told. So her "thats why I never fit in" and "this is who I am now". While I don't think Mancini meant to bring a bad representation. But without real development or something. It just looks like "oh she was evil cause she's autistic". That this is who I am moment just feels like a BAD allegory for autism. Sooo.. yeah have mixed feelings on Caroline.

But all my griping aside. Thats not to say I didn't love this show. No it was still good. The effects were great, you still had feels for the First family. Anddd we still had everyone alive. And although I'm sure some were hoping we'd get Andy and Kyle. I'm okay with it. Because it means they're still alive. And thats all I want. I want the originals to still be alive. If Mancini wants them to retire and let the new kids handle evil, thats also fine. Just don't kill off the original kid heroes.

Then we have the unknownnnnn.... SEASON 4!! Will we get it? Hope so cause that was a cliffhanger and I hate cliffhangers, lol.

Is there anything I want for season 4 if its greenlighted. Uh... I dunno. I'm okay with Chucky getting away (I'm sorta use to it from watching Elm street and Jason movies). Killer dies, comes back or you get a clear hint of sequels but heroes are still alive so you can be happy.

I know there are rumors? or confirmation Mancini was given a greenlight to make another Chucky movie. But as the show, if he wants to continue it I'm all for it. I would just like one episode to have Robert Englund. Cause I heard rumors of a Freddy/Chucky crossover. And while I don't know if it'd work for a movie. I think its a great chance for a season/or at least couple of episodes. Get Englund and Dourif together before I dunno they get/or feel too old to voice the roles again. Yes I said voice, cause I can imagine 76 yearold Englund might not wanna go through that make up process again. I dunno get a double to wear it and let him voice act. Fiona did her dad's "younger self".

Keep Tiff/Chuck together. Let Andy and Kyle live. I would like to see G.G. just at best to know what are they? Evil? Good? Good but you can't poke too much cause they'll go Norman Bates on you. Let Nica... let Nica get therapy oO;;. Poor gal couldn't win this season.

I don't have much aspirations for our new gen of heroes. They're okay but most of their conflicts feel resolved (aside from cliff hanger)... so yeah I guess skip them. Though I do wanna know what they did with their bodies. For that matter Tiff's ... no Jennifer to go back to her old body... so does that mean she just died?

Figure out... what the heck do they plan to do with Caroline. The rant I just wrote aside... what is there to do? Kill her off? Send her to a home for delinquents? No seriously I dunno.

[strangersteddierthings]

It's been seven months since the last text from Eddie. The last text had been 'bored can we be toxic again' and Steve's told him to shut up, but also agreed.

The time before, a couple of weeks before Eddie's text, Steve had sent 'feeling self-destructive wanna help' and Eddie had said 'thats what im best at ur place or mine?'. It's what they do. Have done ever since that first time they fell into bed together, when they were both far too drunk and Steve woke up to Eddie gone. Seeing him later, Eddie acted like nothing had changed between them, so Steve did, too. If high school and college has taught Steve anything, it's that the thing he's best for is a good ol' roll in the hay. Good enough to fuck but not good enough to keep around.

Doesn't matter that Steve wants more, especially with Eddie. He knew what he was good for, back then. What Eddie thinks he's still good for now.

The text he received from Eddie, what's made Steve so contemplative at -his eye flick to the time- at 8:32 in the morning is six words, sent almost an hour ago.

[7:38am] Im in town. Wanna be toxic?

The seven months between these two texts, the last one Eddie sent and this brand new one, is filled with about 17 texts from Steve that Eddie never answered. Steve looks so desperate, reaching out repeatedly just to be ignored, but...

The thing is, Steve would like to be toxic, and self-destructive, accepting whatever scrapes Eddie's ever offered him. Steve still has those urges. But this last time. That last time, seven months ago, Eddie had been different. Steve can't quite explain how, Eddie's always been attentive, checking to make sure Steve's enjoying whatever they're doing as much as he is. But this time felt. More. It felt like... like maybe Eddie loved him, like Steve loves him. Has been in love with him, since before that first drunken night.

But then, Eddie was gone. Steve woke up alone (not surprising) and then got ghosted (very surprising).

No word from him, until now it seems.

It had fucked Steve up, though. He'd let himself believe that this time, he'd wake up to Eddie. In his (apparently delusional) post-orgasm bliss he fooled himself into thinking that everything between them would change. That Eddie felt the same. That it wasn't just a physical attraction for Eddie anymore.

What a fucking joke.

He'd broke down, sobbing on the phone to Robin. She probably broke every traffic law on her way to Steve's, getting there as fast as she had.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself," she'd whispered as she held him. "You are worth so much more than this."

"I don't... can't believe that. I don't know how."

"Then we'll work on it. Together."

So, all that to say that even though Steve wants to tell Eddie to come over, no matter his urges to still be self-destructive, he's not going to. He can't ruin everything he and Robin have achieved. He can't relapse now that his therapist has just told him he should be proud of how far he's come in half a year.

He can't. He won't.

So, he stares at the text message, takes a deep breath, and replies.

[7:38am] Im in town. Wanna be toxic? [8:36am] i cant

Eddie misunderstands, apparently, because he replies with:

[8:36am] In town about a week. Available whenever

Well. This is going to be the end of whatever friendship they'd pretended to still have, Steve is sure, but he's going to be honest. After a lot of deleting, rewording, deleting again, he settles for something short and simple.

[8:52am] no i mean i cant. i wont. u vanished from my life after making me think u finally finally loved me back and i cant do that anymore.

And then, because he thinks he'll always be his own worst enemy, he sends an immediate follow-up.

[8:52am] love me always or leave me forever

He calls Robin, then, blurting out when she picks up, "Eddie texted me. And I replied. I said- I said something I shouldn't have and now I'm freaking out because I can't. I can't, Robin! I, what if, what-"

"I'm on my way right now, just let me tell Chrissy where I'm going. What can't you do, Stevie?"

"Read his response! I shouldn't have said anything because it's gonna fuck me up no matter what he says! I shouldn't have- I should have blocked his number five months ago when he failed to respond to my final text. We have to stay on the phone. If we hang up, I'll check the text, if he even replies. Goddamnit, why do I do this to myself!?"

Chrissy ends up offering to drive Robin over so she can stay on the phone, and Steve says she should just stay over, too. He's grown close to Chrissy, as she's been Robin's girlfriend for three years now.

Robin stays on the phone with him the whole time, until she's standing directly in front of him from his spot on the floor behind his couch, legs pulled up with his arms wrapped around them, phone wedged between his ear and his shoulder. She takes his phone and hangs up before handing his phone to Chrissy.

"Can you guard this for a moment?"

"Of course," Chrissy says, giving Robin a quick kiss, which makes Steve's chest hurt with jealousy but also happiness because Robin and Chrissy are so happy with each other, and Steve's also so happy for them, "and I'll give you two a little time. I'll be napping on Steve's bed, probably."

Robin laughs and Chrissy heads down the short hallway to Steve's bedroom.

"Alright Dingus," Robin drops down beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him towards her until he huddles down and drops his head onto her shoulder. "I'm here. However you need me."

"The text. He asked to hookup. And I- I ended up saying no and telling him I can't do that anymore but instead of just. Fucking ending the conversation there, I told him to either love me or leave me and I'm so stupid. I was doing so good!"

"Hey, no, you aren't stupid. You're just... just a boy in love. That's enough to make anyone do things they regret. When you're ready, and if Eddie replied, I'll read it first. Try and gauge how you'll feel about it, and we can go from there."

Steve nods his head against her shoulder. He doesn't know really which will be worse, Eddie responding or him ghosting again. He just knows that either will hurt and he's not ready to deal with that yet.

[emilylangridgegrad604i]

Application of feedback

One of my main pieces of feedback I received was that when my copy of elements unfolds as a poster is to ensure that there is consistency between my vanity and also text. Most students who I spoke to enjoyed my posters and said I had achieved in successfully presenting my creative areas and techniques, they liked the arrangement of my mixed techniques and said it displayed different elements very successfully. After writing my essay I revisited my poster to make sure there was cohesion between the piece of writing and also my art, to ensure everything lines up and works well as one piece.

I chose a minimalist / naturalist approach to the element copy as I did not want there to be a distraction from all my elements as that page is quite busy so there needed to be a point of difference. I went in and refined all the smaller details, colours etc and also incorporated the numbers next to the drawings for ease and so people are able to identify which elements fit in where. Overall and reflecting on this body of work, I think it went really positively. Looking back on all I have achieved over my creative years and my endeavours was incredibly motivating, rewarding and insightful to what I have succeeded in and what I can work on. I always think it's important to consistently revisit your inspirations and who you look up to within the creative field, who are your drives and motivators? What keeps you going and what makes you passionate?

I think it can sometimes be easy to loose motivation as a creative and feel like giving up, but I really loved this project because it forced me to put myself in my shoes 5-10 years down the track when I am a full-time designer and recognise all I will be able to accomplish, whether thats working in a studio or freelancing. I know I will have my communities and friends to thank. :)

[mightyhydrator]

Well, it is the Universe. The Country's belief isn't in a god, in spirits, but in the inevitability of the world taking on a shape irrespective of anyone's choosing. It is a belief that no matter what anyone will do, the stars will continue their predetermined dance millions of years away. That in a year's time your planet will have returned to its place around the Sun, one of billions of suns, regardless of your being there. Belief that everything is merely one small fragment of a greater whole, and thus you are too.

"The Universe leads, you can only follow" is very much an expression of determinism in this context. If you accept the world's material reality, it is impossible to view events as anything but predetermined. While the game doesn't go quite that far, the Country's philosophy very much revolves around this idea -- that the only cards you can play are the ones you get.

This is why the Change God seems to be opposed to the Universe; their philosophy valorises personal will and potential -- with hard work and real desire, one can bring about any Change, thus everyone is responsible for their own actions and their own fate. On the other hand, to the Universe, personal will is nothing. The Universe is you and me and your bed and the ants crawling in the dirt and the asteroids roaming interstellar space. There is no inherent agency in this belief, and thus responsibility for your fate is offloaded to the arbitrary world we exist in.

its true that as the change god i cant help humans much (mostly because i dont want to) i cant help with your petty struggles for survival and stuff but it doesnt matter, because even my little god powers are nothing next to yours!!! the real power comes from you, mirabelle!!! if you decide you can change, thats enough power and belief to do anything (dont even need some silly rituals or anything like SOME OTHER BELIEF OUT THERE)

This is also where Siffrin and Loop's resentment comes from. The Universe leading is, sometimes, terrifying -- life will keep throwing itself at you, and you have no choice but to take it. You are just a character in a play.

(Ooooooh, you followed, you follow, you will follow, but you are tired!) (You are bound to the Universe's will the same way the moon is bound to this planet, the same way this planet is bound to the sun the same way a puppet is bound to its strings!!!!!!)

What script was I following, that kept me from victory?!?

How can you possibly tell the Universe that you suffer? It is Everything; it is no different than talking to a brick wall.

(Broken telescope.) (But it's still part of the Universe, even if it can't see it!) (Aaah, are you still part of the Universe, even if you're broken, too?) (Does the Universe still see you, even when you can't see It?) (The Universe is infinite and always growing, so isn't its compassion infinite as well?!) (Hello! Hello! Hello! You're here! You said it three times, so the Universe must hear!) (But the only thing that answers is silence, as always!)

(You look through it.) (You only see the Universe.) (You take a step back, and look at the walls.) (You only see the Universe, still.)

As you point out, even Wish Craft is an expression of this inevitability: if you say your wish into a leaf three-- six-- thirteen times, fold it over, and let it go, the Universe will make your wish come true as surely as the Sun will rise.

I: But like Sif said, over time, people figured out specific ways to do Wish Craft, to increase their chances of the wish coming true! ... I: Although, it seems the strength of the wish isn't as important as the whole ritual part. I: You can wish as hard as you want for something, but if there's no ritual, it's very likely that nothing will happen.

It isn't a science, exactly. It is a lot like alchemy -- through a lot of superstition, they discovered and codified specific actions one can take to achieve real results. These actions, through your communication with the Universe, will make your wish come true.

It is the one true expression of agency in the belief in the Universe, but even that is conditional: your wish being granted is an inevitable result of your actions. X->Y. You are asking this higher power for succor, but it is the Universe speaking to itself.

Still, wishes aren't always granted directly. The Universe leads, you can only follow. Sometimes, the Universe will tell you, "Your wish is in your hands, now". This is really how we've seen all the wishes be granted. The King's wish for Vaugarde (or to remember?) gave him Time Craft, as did Siffrin's to stay with their family. Vaugarde was given a savior, and Loop was allowed to escape only after they could help themselves.

I... wonder what this means for their belief. It is truly in line with the religion's motto, but the way it manifests is by granting the wisher agency. There is still determinism to it, like I said before, but it's interesting. If wishing is the Universe speaking to itself, then is a wish being granted also the Universe performing to itself? If you are part of the Universe, are you asking yourself for help? I might have to sit on it.

Lastly, people are cautioned from making wishes. "Be careful what you wish for" that we know already. The cold and arbitrary nature of the Universe won't always give you what you need. You are not, ultimately, in control. You borrow from the world, so don't be surprised if the warranty's expired.

(A cautionary tale of some kind, even if you could never remember the moral of the story)

was talking to some friends earlier about the universe and the concept of it being less of a single entity and more of a celestial super computer. it produced this.

[rentolysander]

3/10/23

Why must everything come to an end? It seems cliche to say that we should enjoy what we have in the moment while we still got it, but maybe thats the truth in it all. Everything is fleetin, everything that we call our own, isn’t/ Its just our turn to have it. Everything comes to an end/ Nothing lives on forever. Not even a legacy can make you immortal. But lets go back to enjoying the moment/ The eternal “Now” as many philosophers and religious folk put it. Why is that the best we get? It seems overrated. Just to be happy and at peace with being present. I don’t know but it sounds like a load of shit. Maybe I’ll never expereince it. 

I guess if everything lived on forever, nothing would really matter. Well, I take that back, everything ends, and yet, nothing matters still. Every man will be forgotten, every deed will be done. It’s hard not to despair, not to wonder why. It’s hard to motivate yourself to do anything. The abyss is deep and it’s hard to escape. I don’t know what I’ll do. It seems that I’ve caught myself in quite the bind. 

At first I thought I could set arbitrary goals for myself. Reach certain numbers, certain measurements, certain achievements. It all pales in the eyes of the fact that nothing I do will stop myself from dying. It’s even more terrifying knowing that I will probably live another 70 years, all with this fact in the back of my mind. How can I go on?

“A man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it he knows too little.”

No

Something doesn’t feel right. Why do we all feel this way? Why are we all exhausted, depressed, lonely, and just plain bored? Something is up.

First of all, I will start with myself. Sure you set arbitrary goals, but did you complete them? Sure you made plans, but did you enact them? Do you have everything you want? Do you have the live you want? Did you do the best that you could with what you have? Do you even know what you want? No.

As we can see, it seems that the guilt lies within myself. Even though I have all this time, I didn’t put any of it towards doing anything worth while. Sure it doesn’t really matter, but maybe it could make my life better than just trying to cope with bullshit. I don’t really know what I want for my life. I want a nice physique, I want to be healthy, and I don’t want to work. Er… I don’t want to have a job that feels like a job. Either create something so great that you never have to do anything for the rest of your life, or you rot like everyone else in the work force. That’s my motto. My glimmering spark of hope int he distance. Sure there will be problems on the other side but will they be easier if I know I have the time and energy to deal with them? No job would be nice. Not having to worry about money would be nice. I would become a part-timer if I made it big. Then I could talk to people, do something easy and maybe fun, and talk to cute girls (hopefully!). 

Hahahah, I’m a mess. I don’t even feel sad about it. Just confused, but with hope. Misguided maybe. What’s the point of being sad. Maybe my body and mind is trying to tell me something. “Hey dipshit, what are you doing wasting all this time, go out and kill a cow and eat it we need nutrition.” Maybe thats why I’m depressed, I need to go hunting! Sounds like I have cured my problems with some simple questions and have at least given myself something to work on until the inevitable return of my despair. I will have to come up with strategies to keep motivating myself.

Ok, lets reel it in…

So now that myself is taken care of, there’s all of you guys. If we take a look at the suicide rates around the world, the most unhappiest countries are USA, Russia, South Africa, Guyana (what the fuck is happening there btw), Japan, most of europe, Australia. And the lowest rates of suicide are most of Africa, most of South America, China (who knows source of data but I could believe in countryside), Middle East, and the Philippines. So what are we doing that’s so wrong. Well, the obvious answer is society! YEs, that must be it, it’s the blame for everything! Yes and no. I don’t think this 9-5 system is good because we are constantly struggling to pay bills, we are always looking to distract ourselves from our shitty existance, we never have time for friends, family, or ourselves, our attention is being controlled every second of every day, and there’s really nothing you can do about it. Even if you create something great, you become famous and then all the unhappy people want you to make them happy again. It’s like you become a beacon of hope for the masses who can’t provide their own light at the end of the tunnel. That’s why I don’t want to become famous, I don’t want anyone to want something from me. I want to be free too. That is why I respect Sui Ishida a lot for keeping himself anonymous, I think that is the way to do it, especially in this internet age where everyone is the paparazzi. Sure I won’t have people coming up to me int he streets, but I will be able to live my life on my own terms. Maybe Frank Ocean has cracked the code…

Anyways, 9-5 isn’t that good. Sure it gives us a paycheck, but just enough to pay our bills and not enough to give us the ability to leave our jobs. We’ve all heard it a million times, but who ever offers a solution? Everyone likes to complain, but no one tells us what to do, it’s either figure it out yourself, or someone else will fix it… sigh. I guess I’ll be the idiot who tries to speak up.

Based off of my own instinct, I think I have an idea of what to do. It’s possible, but it’s tough.

You can’t give up, and i say this because it’s really easy, just look at my first couple paragraphs hahaha.

Give up all copes

Option 1: Create something worthwhile, business, art, you name it, anything works

Scale it to where you can sell it or have it completely automated or have it “work for you”

Option 2: Cut back your spending to the bare minimum, save everything - will take longer

Leave the places where everyone is killiing themselves, duh

If you can’t then move to the areas where people aren’t killing themselves, most likely a rural area, one that isn’t in the zombie apocalypse or opioid crisis.

Forget about money

Connect with the people there

Farm your own food, please look into regenerative farming

Go from there.

See I really think that this lifestyle we have now is so artificial that everyone just feels like it is fake and meaningless because it is. We’re not dumb, we all know somehting ain’t write. Now I’m not for going in and trying to overthrow the government, think of me opting for something like “Quiet Quitting.” 

Whenever I have issues figuring out what I want to do, I like to figure out what I don’t want. I strip away all the excess until I am left with what’s left. I think I should do this with my physical life as well. Go back to basics.

Wow listen to myself babbling on and on. What am I saying? I’m sure this sounds pretty dumb right about now with how jumbled and scrambled my thoughts are. I just felt the need to write and this is what happened. Here I go apologizing and rationalizing, whatever, no edits, I post.

[sanigopiece]

why uta is a well-written character

reposted from twitter since i saw uta get a lot of hate on there. a lot of people seem to not get her character so i am writing this post in hopes of getting people to see the light. anyways here we go,

1. her motivations are well supported by her backstory. it all began in the tragedy in elegia years prior where shanks took the blame for the destruction of the city and left uta in the care of gordon. this led uta to being forced into a life of loneliness and isolation for the rest of her growing up years.

these feelings accumulate while she studies music until she eventually finds a den den mushi to livestream her performance. here she learns of the harshness of pirates in the outside world and coupled with her resentment towards the red haired pirates for leaving her motivates her to revisit her old dream of starting a new genesis. this is a solid way of story cohesion between uta's backstory and her actions in the present. everything ties in very nicely & its easy to understand & empathize with.

2) i've seen some complain about how uta saying that she knew all along that she had caused the destruction of elegia & called it bad writing. this was actually her way of coping with the years of isolation but also her grief in shanks leaving her.

i speculate that uta realized she caused the destruction of elegia when she learned about tot musica and when faced with this, she chooses to find someone else to blame because guilt ate away at her so she chose to continue believing the lie that shanks did it. so it isnt bad writing because we are given more context on her mental state at the time and it is meant to be a gateway for viewers to empathize with her more but i guess people missed that.

3. she is not entirely evil. yes she is a villain because she believes she is doing whats right in order to achieve her goal however she still has goodness in her heart. she could've easily kept people trapped in the song world after tot musica was defeated.

but she didnt because she realized that what she did was wrong and she changed for the better. yes there's moments in the film where she does upsetting things like tearing shanks's hat but these were done in her mentally unstable state so it is unfair to entirely fault her for her actions. she is merely a misguided and misunderstood lonely girl with a dream so dont be so hard on her. she is good deep down.

4. her character is unique. already a given since we dont have that many music centric characters except maybe brook but even brook's powers aren't linked to music so uta is really special. also her songs carry so much meaning and not only does it set the mood for most scenes but it also adds to the story. i highly recommend checking out the lyrics of each uta song because they really tie in to the events of the story and you might just enjoy her character more.

5. her canonity adds more flare to the story. oda recently confirmed uta to be canon and this means a lot to both shanks and luffy's backstory. it does not detract from their backstories but rather it gives more context like how we understand a lot more about luffy's dream and why he wants a musician in his crew thanks to uta.

as for shanks, he now has more reason of being and we also got some clues to his lineage in the movie. this is really nice since most shoe horned characters have issues when they're added to canon.

alright so thats all. its been quite the long thread but i love uta and i want more people to appreciate her instead of hating or mischaracterizing her. if i missed anything do let me know. thanks and have a nice day <3

[genshin-obsessed]

hi!! if its ok could i request some HCs for Ayaka whos best friend is the reader n reader is dating Ayato? Maybe some hcs on how the three of them would interact together n also Ayaka setting them up n stuff similar to that? I hope thats ok n that it all made sense (シ. .)シ

Did I read this wrong? Yes. Did I do more to makeup for it? ... Yes. Enjoy <333 you like my garbage title? I do, thank you. I'm a genius, I know.

Bestie's Brother.

Ayaka loves to tease you about dating Ayato. You met her first and the two of you became close extremely quickly. Thoma was pretty much used to having you around the house as was Ayato. Though, he was extremely busy, so you didn’t see much of him.

You asked Ayaka since you wanted to learn a little bit about Ayato. She told you everything she knew, not suspecting anything. Little did she know, you had a huge crush on Ayato. You didn’t want to tell her because how weird would that have been?

Well, somehow, Ayato managed to find time for you (since he had a crush on you too). Slowly, the time spent together became more. You two ended up becoming more.

It originally started out as a secret because you didn't have the heart to admit to Ayaka you were dating her brother.

You were nervous that Ayaka would hate you for it but it was quite the opposite. She was happy for two reasons. She trusted the person her brother was dating and she trusted the person her best friend was dating. It worked out well.

Ayaka takes any chance she can to tease you or Ayato. Ayato just gets flustered and tells her to mind her own business as he drags you off to who knows where.

She’s sharp. Watch out for her ^w^.

Alternate: Ayaka sets you up!

Ayaka knew you were single, you didn’t exactly try to hide it- you weren’t embarrassed or ashamed. She’s not one to pry into your business but over the course of the few years you two have known each other, she sort of figured out you were the perfect person for her brother.

He needs a partner. You need a partner. Perfect, right? Was that her only requirement? Yeah, kinda.

Anyway, so Ayaka decided to set up a little date between you and Ayato. She claimed that she wanted to have dinner with you at Komore Teahouse and you agreed. She told Ayato she wanted to have dinner with him to celebrate a recent achievement. Both of you were so naive.

Once you both were there, Thoma came to inform you that Ayaka had gotten busy and wouldn’t be showing up. You two genuinely thought she was busy so you just spent the dinner with each other. Of course, Ayaka wasn’t busy, in fact, she was in the room beside yours and she was definitely listening in to your conversation.

Ayaka wasn’t done, though, no she set up multiple dates like this and 9/10 she flaked, claiming she was busy. It took a couple of dates… ok, it took a few dates before you and Ayato realized she wasn’t actually busy.

Eventually, he asked you out on a real date and Ayaka was beyond happy. You, of course, were quite happy too. It was a real date with someone you’d been in love with for a while.

Ayaka takes every chance to tease you and Ayato about your relationship. It’s all in good fun, but she loves to see your face- or his- turn bright red.

It’s adorable.

You’re adorable.

[ask-october-fox]

Hi October! It has been a few years, since I last popped in; but I wanted to thank you dearly once again for everything that you do, and give an update! As I am sure you have heard from many others: every year has come with its own set of challenges, but for me at least, the last few have been better! Old friendships have been reborn, closure achieved, and I have even started to break back into activities I had given up on years ago, like drawing and music!

It's not perfect, but it's progress; and I think that is all that matters right now. :)

I hope you have had a good year, yourself, despite all of the craziness in the world! and I hope you had a fantastic Birthday!! (I still can't believe I missed both that AND your stream somehow!)

And well... Thank you for sticking around! Sharing your messages has become a bit of a tradition in this household and it continues to be one of my favorite parts of the season! My reasons are admittedly a little selfish, but I hope we can come see you again for many years to come!!

While it is no true shrine, I did want to send these on as a gesture of our appreciation. (Before I take these old retired shrine guardians to be restored) My family is thinking of you, and always wishing you the very best!

(In case the text is too small to read: Those are Apple Cider Frycakes and Japanese yellow curry paste with a touch of apple and honey!)

Oh goodness! I am getting 2 shrines this year? Thats already 2 more than I had before! Those statues are so pretty and the food is a most welcomed offer! Thank you so much! 🤍🧡🖤 I am so SO happy to know that things have been going well for you since last we spoke. Quite true that each year comes with its own trials and tribulations, but they can also come with good lessons and second chances. To be able to reconnect with friends, find peace, and even join back in with old hobbies is wonderful to know. Thank you as well for the birthday wishes! Its been quite a busy week, so there is much left to catch up on for the final days remaining (aaaaaaaaaa). On the note of streams tho, you neednt worry! There are still at least 2 more streams being planned out! Tonight around 7-8pm (cst) Fido and I will be continuing our adventures in It Takes Two AND!!! If all goes well... October 30th (time is still up in the air) Fido, Spook, Tao, and myself are planning to stream Phasmophobia! Considering that none of us have played that game is going to make it even more fun! I hope you'll get to join us!

Be sure to follow me on Twitch so you dont miss out!